#a lot of fire and ash and gold symbolism lol

[onlineviolence]

HELL’S SADDEST STREETCLEANER

[onewomancitadel]

Hello...? For context, I'm the one who mentioned she was watching the 1950 Cinderella with her sister a while back. Not so much a question, but an observation after a whole bunch of randomly interconnecting lines-of-thought: so like, Cinder's outfits at the beginning of the series (excluding the ones when she was incognito) all tended to be some mix of red and gold or black to fit in with her fire theme right, because most regular fires tend to be red? But lately, her outfit was almost completely black; not a color a fire takes, but that's usually the color that coal or ash (ie. cinders) takes, when more fuel needs to be added to re-ignite or it needs to be lit. In the Cinderella movie, her dress was a bright blue, and Jaune's primary colors have been white and gold; white and blue are the colors a fire has when it's REALLY hot, hotter than a regular red fire. So like, what all this random rambling means is that, when Knightfall happens and their outfits start to kind of reflect one another (I saw the posts from earlier concerning outfits, mostly just skimmed them), then Cinder's new outfit should really incorporate a lot of blue or white: both as a reference to the classic Cinderella outfit, and a way of showing how she's gonna be burning brighter and stronger than before now that she has Jaune supporting her (re-igniting that spark in her, so to speak).

Again, this is all mainly just ramblings as a result of a bunch of weird thoughts that managed to connect to one another. Take it for what you will.

The good thing about somebody else coming to the same conclusion to you independently is that it makes you feel more justified in your thoughts. I see you've mentioned you might've skimmed my posts, but yeah... this is a major theory of mine lol. (Not sure if you read my fic, not presuming, but this is why I always put her in blue lol).

It's good to hear from you again, anon, because this has been my ongoing theory for a while now. (That tag is for all of my ship-colour rambles, but has Cinder-outfit theory in there too).

Her brooch (which is now a centre-point focus of her V6-V8 outfit) is blue and purple,

which are to colours complementary to... orange and yellow. She's orange eyes, he has blue eyes... his Aura's yellow, her pin's purple... you see where I'm going with this?

But lately, her outfit was almost completely black; not a color a fire takes, but that's usually the color that coal or ash (ie. cinders) takes, when more fuel needs to be added to re-ignite or it needs to be lit.

There is stuff about the flame blackening in alchemy, but I'm not sure they're using that - but, right, what's the heart of a flame? Blue.

both as a reference to the classic Cinderella outfit, and a way of showing how she's gonna be burning brighter and stronger than before now that she has Jaune supporting her (re-igniting that spark in her, so to speak).

To be completely fair, I think they're following Rhodopis more than they are the D/isney Cinderella (and particularly too, the romances), but the thing I'll mention is that Cinderella's dress is white in the original film, but was changed later to blue in merchandising. So... white-blue is true there too lol.

I also think the red-gold is part of her Madame/Salem persona, so when she shucks that off (as she is in the process of doing with black/gold), well, there's one very important element here: her metallic symbolism will become silver. That's something that's more in my Ruby and Cinder tag. But yeah, Cinder transitioning to silver from gold is alike to Jaune transitioning from lead to gold. So they're both reflective of each other that way too.

I also wouldn't be surprised if purple is in her new outfit too. Also, the colours in her pin are warm purple/warm blue - which is also more flame stuff - when, say, Blake's purple is cold purple.

So there you go.

Glad to hear from you again! <3

[blacklight-ghoulette]

So about lore! How do you imagine the ghouls mating process?👀

(I apologize for taking so long on this but to be fair it’s a bit hefty of a response lol)

First, a small distinction that I make: Mating is for when ghouls take an actual mate, similar to a human marriage but on a much deeper level like a soulmate. Mates are pretty rare, so most of this also pertains to partners in general as well as mates.

Each elemental tribe has their own traditions and rituals for mating gifts/ceremonies/etc.

Earth ghouls:

Stone tribes: ghouls and ghoulettes who wish to mate someone from a stone tribe better be ready, because their ritual is having to wrestle the strongest ghoul in their mate’s family/immediate tribe. Depending on the situation, they might not have to win per-say, but typically making them tap out is what is needed to win the right to their mate bond. Also, if more than one ghoul wants to mate a stone ghoul, they’ll also fight them before they have to wrestle their intended’s family.

Forest tribes: best hope that they’re fast, as forest ghouls make their mates chase them through the forest, only allowing whoever can catch them the privilege of being their mate. And it’s never easy, as the forest itself will seem to try and hinder the pursuer in small ways... conveniently raised tree roots to trip them up, hanging vines to get snarled in, labyrinthine mazes of closely woven bushes and brush, etc.

Plains tribes: a somewhat strange ritual, but they will search for what they think is the perfect soil and gather a pot of it as a gift to their mate. If the gift is taken, they’ll plant something together in it and nurture it for as long as they live. Some will start tree saplings, and once it’s outgrown the pot they’ll plant it near their fields, returning every season to tend it together (if their tribe is nomadic). Some will plant a specific variety of flower, and will harvest the seeds and plant them wherever they might travel.

Water ghouls:

Ocean tribes: They carve a specific symbol into whatever they find appealing- rock, coral, bone, shells, etc, and make a pendant to give to their prospective mate. Pairs will wear their mate’s pendants forever, never taking it off and hurriedly repairing it should it somehow get broken.

River tribes: The typical mating gift is a carefully picked river stone that is small enough to fit in the center of their palm and is worn flat and smooth. They will know if whomever they gift it to is ‘the one’, per say, if they can make the rock skip effortlessly across the water. But also, as a test of their bond, they are given a canoe filled with baskets of goods and sundries and are tasked to work together with their elemental magic and get it up a waterfall without damaging or losing anything within it. If successful, they’re given the contents of the canoe to help them start their own family.

Lake tribes: ghouls from the lakes will make elaborate headdresses/crowns for their mate. They cannot let anyone else see it till it has been presented to their prospective mate, and the entire thing must be made entirely by them. Often they are made of bone, driftwood, feathers, and any interesting rocks or such found in the depths of their lakes.

Swamp tribes: The ghoulettes of the swamp tribes are extremely territorial and aggressive when it comes to mates and mating seasons. They’ll throw themselves at their chosen mate, dragging them down into the mud to wrestle them into submission and eagerly fight any others who might want to mate that particular ghoul. Males, on the other hand, prefer the good old tradition of ‘Who Can Eat This Whole Deer Carcass Fastest?’ when challenging other males for a mate. They’ll only fight if they absolutely have to, or if a female tackles them to wrestle. Even then, more often than not they give up pretty quickly to their newfound mate.

Fire Ghouls:

Sun tribes: While fighting might be the dominant activity for Sun tribes, their mating ritual is strangely devoid of it. Goldsmithing and jewelry crafting is a profession many Sun tribe ghoul practice, should they be unable to or unwilling to throw down in the fighting pits. This gave rise to their mating gift: custom made horn bands. Typically made of gold and adorned with precious stones and gems, they’ll design a set of two bands and gift one to their prospective mate.    

Volcano tribes: Much of the Volcano tribes daily life include singing and dancing, and their mating ritual is no different. Mating displays are not done individually, instead all of them being held at once during the summer solstice. Those who wish to propose to a mate will sing and dance for them, to a song that they themselves will write and choreograph. If the other ghoul likes the song and dance they’ll accept the proposal and dance and sing with their new partner. If, however, more than one are vying for one ghoul or ghoulette, they will begin a traditional dance and song, going for as long as they can without tripping or messing up, and whoever can go the longest is who will get to bond their new mate.

Air Ghouls:

West Wind tribes: Ever seen those dances that Magnificent Riflebirds do to attract a mate? This is what west wind tribe ghouls do. They try to be as colorful and basically loud- visually and audibly- as  possible. Often mating dances tend to be done during festivals and holidays so that whole groups will participate, vying for the attention of their prospective mate.

East Wind tribes: East Wind tribes keep to a more simple tradition of composing a piece of music for their mate. They’ll perform the piece for them and if the pair match, the other ghoul will begin to sing and/or play along, picking up the tune immediately and harmonizing together.

South Wind tribes: Hair braiding is a very important ritual in the South Wind tribes. They have specific types, placing, and numbers for all manner different things. Some particular tribes will wind colored ribbons in their braids, some do beads, or feathers, or even bits of bone. But, the one that is consistent among all of the South Wind tribes is one that hangs right behind their right ear. While courting they will only braid it a few inches long and keep it completely unadorned. When they’ve chosen a mate, they will exchange a handmade bead and attach it to the braid, and then weave the braid to the full length of their hair.

North Wind tribes: The lonesome North Wind tribes wind their passion for knowledge into pretty much every aspect of their life, and their mating ritual is no exception. A gift of knowledge of some kind, very often in the form of books, is given to show that they know their partner’s interests precisely and are willing to work hard and strive to find whatever they might seek.

Aether Ghouls:

Healer tribes: Tattoos are a major part of healer tribes, each specific clan having their own particular patterns and layouts for nearly every aspect of a ghoul’s life. They will design a tattoo for their prospective mate, and if chosen their new partner will design one for them as well. During the mating ceremony, they will ink the tattoo on their new mate and vice versa. If they are from separate clans, they will slowly start altering their normal tattoos to be a mix of both clan’s patterns.

Seer tribes: The typical mating gift is for a ghoul of the seer tribes to weave something from the wool that they have made from their Caprini (think big, carnivorous sheep. Hellsheep, if you will). It can be anything from scarves and socks to blankets and rugs.

Traveler tribes: The most mysterious and rare of the ghoul tribes, Travelers have their own very unique ritual for mating. When proposing to another as a mate, or even just a partner, they have to make something out of pure aether. As aether is the element that encompasses all the others and binds them together, with the proper practice and ability it can be used to ‘create something from nothing’, or rather small bits of the other elements bound within aether. The more powerful they are the bigger item they’ll try to make, and it’s very much a contest amongst them.

Bonus: Rare Ghoul Sub-tribes

Crystal ghouls: Crystal ghouls can randomly be born to stone tribes and are jealously guarded by their families. When choosing a mate or partner, crystal ghouls look for someone whose aura resonates perfectly with their own, and will find the shiniest thing possible to give them as a gift.

Metal tribes: Larger than crystal and ash ghoul clans, though not quite big enough to be true tribes on their own yet, metal ghouls are seen as arrogant and boastful. As such, they will go to their prospective mate and propose to do something that would require a decent amount of skill. If the prospective mate isn’t quite certain they can propose a different task for them. They will not be allowed to bond till both ghouls feel that the task was completed entirely and to their satisfaction. If fighting another for a mate, they will go back and forth each escalating their task to be harder and more dangerous till one backs down, but will then have to complete said task. If one does not concede to the other then they will both perform the task, and whomever does it best and quickest will win the right to the mate bond.

Ash ghouls: A rare type of ghoul that can result from the breeding of forest and sun tribe ghouls, ash ghouls are a very quiet, secretive lot. Their mating ritual is to find something extremely precious, be it a rare flower or stone, but whatever it is must have a great amount of meaning to them personally. They take this item to their intended and if accepted they will burn it to cinders, showing that nothing means more to them than their mate. They then will make a paint from the ashes and draw matching designs on their skin to show their new bond.

[somethinwickedthiswayrides]

Tag Game~

Oh, why did I wait so long to do this? So many people tagged me! So many~

Placing everything under a read more cause this is about 40 questions long

@sebthur

1. do you like pineapples on your pizza?

I'll fully admit I've never tried it. But I am squarely in the 'no' category. It's just unappetizing to me.

2. how much bubble you want when you take a bath? all of them? none at all?

ALL THE BUBBLES! The tub will be overflowing with bubbles!

3. favorite scent?

Rain, specifically rain on asphalt. It's just, soothing, and can pull me right out of a bad mood.

4. what's your all time favorite movie?

I don't really watch a lot of movies. But I do love the Phantom of the Opera!

5. if money DID grow on trees... what is the first thing u would buy?

I'd move into a nice little home, no HOA, no super close neighbors, it'd be peaceful.

6. did u drink water today?

Uuhh...not water specifically. Gatoraid doesn't really count as water, it's mostly sugar.

7. if not, do it now! stay hydrated! did u eat?

I ate! Fast food, cause I live super far away from where I work, and I can't cook for nuthin, but I ate!

8. whats ur dream job?

I'd like to be a voice actor someday~

9. have you ever heard of upgamers?

No, I haven't. It sounds like updog though, so I am wary.

10. Can you play an instrument? which one?

I don't really count this as being able to play, but I used to own a guitar and I liked to pluck the strings when I got stressed. I don't know why I got rid of it.

11. have you listened to your favorite song today? do it now

I haven't listened to hardly any music for the past week, I need some music~

@nocturnofshadow

1. Dream vacation destination, go!

Home, in my bed, and not having to leave it for about a week. Sounds like heaven.

If I had to pick an ACTUAL location though, Ireland, it just sounds so beautiful there.

2. if you got any novels laying about, go and flip though and pick the twenty-second line - what's it say?

I'm assuming we're going by sentences here. "Psychologically warped; possessed by demons." - 22nd sentence of Wicked.

3. Got any favourite stims? Plastic click-clacks, squishy things, rubbing into a specific spot til it's smooth, ect. Tell me about it!

Hmm. I have a pretty rainbow metallic fidjet spinner, though I don't really use it. Mostly cause when I really need a stim I'm at work where I'm not allowed to have them. So I usually click or tap my pen when I get antsy at work.

4. Favourite scene in a viddy game? (alternatively, fave scene in a book, movie, ect.)

Currently my favorite scene in a game is in Red Dead Redemption 2! When the gang leaves the snowy mountains to head to Horseshoe overlook, the scene with the music is just absolutely beautiful, and it's my absolute favorite thing ever!

5. Favourite aesthetic and why! (old west, european gothic, ect.)

A sort of witchy style, a little bit gothic, but beautiful crystals hanging around, with herbs and flowers and AH~ :D

6. What's your go-to song when you're seeing red? Does it help calm you down, or add fuel to the fire?

Pretty much any music has a calming effect on me, it helps me drift off into my own little world. I don't have a specific song, but I usually listen to softer rock songs.

7. If you write as a hobby, do you still use pen and paper? Or do you prefer typing?

Typing, all the way. My handwriting is an absolute mess and sometimes even I can't decipher the symbols on the page.

8. How long do dishes normally sit in your sink before you get around to them? If you have any sitting around, this is your reminder to get them done!

All of my plates and stuff are disposable for this very reason. I rarely eat at home anyway.

9. Do you have a favourite Hozier song?

I actually had to look up who this was, I never really pay much attention to singer's and bands, and I have heard a few of his songs. I particularly like the Arsonist's Lullaby and In The Woods Somewhere.

10. Do you hoard music playlists? If so, whats the general vibe of those playlists and on which platform? (youtube, spotify, ect.)

I don't really hoard playlists, I usually hear a song and go; 'I wanna hear more like this' and make a new playlist. I use Pandora, and my playlists are mostly rock with a few country, pop, and, I'm not sure how to describe it, celtic? I guess.

@cupofcowboys / @fangirl-ramblings

1. Are you a book reader? if so what are you reading currently?

I am a book reader, though I'm not AVID. Nor am I currently reading anything, too in deep of reading and writing RDR2 fanfiction.

2. If you could time travel where in time would you go?

OH NONONONONO! I know the butterfly effect, thank you but no. I'm also rather happy in the timezone I'm in.

3. Is it hot or cold (weather) where you are in the world right now

Very hot, it's what I get for living in a desert, but hey, it don't snow here~

4. Start your current music playlist, put it on random and tell me what the next song is.

I use Pandora, so it's already random buut, Something's missing by Sheppard.

5. Pizza or Burgers?

But I like both. ;^;

6. Favourite movie/s

Pretty much anything animated by Disney. Though if I had to pick particular movies, The Lion King, Aladdin, The Little Mermaid, Brave, ect.

7. Favourite band/s

Fall Out Boy, Panic at the Disco, Linkin Park, Nickelback, Halestorm, My Chemical Romance. About the only band names I remember, lol.

8. How many concerts have you been to?

That I bought a ticket for? None.

Though, My Chemical Romance did a free gig here about 3 or 4 years ago and I went to see that.

9. If you won millions and millions of dollars what would be the first thing you do.

I would become a literal hermit. Lol, I'd move into a cute little house, and never be seen again.

Maybe I'd pop out every now and again and become a cryptid. Lol

10. One thing you like about yourself?

About myself? I like my hair, took me years to admit, I used to absolutely hate it as a child, I had a mop of curly ginger hair and it always got me unwanted attention. It still does, but I'm a BIT better at just taking the compliment.

@madnessismylover

1. Sun or Moon?

Moon, so soft and gentle and sweet.

2. Would you rather have 20 cats or 20 dogs?

Cats, much as I'd love being smothered by 20 puppies, cats are a little less... needy?

3. Who was your first celebrate crush (that you can remember)?

Steve Irwin. I was 2 or 3.

4. What was your first video game? (and if you don’t play those then what was your first movie)

That I played? Pokemon Blue or Pokemon Gold.

That I owned? Pokemon Ruby.

5. Favorite kid show? (either watched as a kid or watch now)

I love cartoons~ Though I'm particularly fond of Steven Universe, Star VS the Forces of Evil, and Gravity Falls.

6. Favorite decade’s aesthetic? (70s, 80s, 90s, etc,)

I'm a complete 90s kid.

7. Where do you wish you could live?

Not really any location in particular, though I guess Ireland would be nice, maybe Germany or England.

8. Did you have an imaginary friend as a kid? If so what was their name?

I don't remember much about them IMO, I do remember their name was Ash, and they were TALL, like Slenderman levels of tall.

9. What’s something not a lot of people know about you?

I'm actually part Native American! Admittedly, it's a very SMALL part, about five or six generations back but there is a bit in me! And I'm very proud of that small bit.

10. If you had to listen to one song for the rest of your life what would it be?

Oh, that would be torture~ If i HAD to pick, it'd probably be High Hopes by Panic at the Disco, but, it'd still be torture.

MY Questions!

1. How tall are you? Have you dreamed being ever taller?

2. Favorite Youtuber?

3. What is your favorite fairytale?

4. Do you prefer kissing or cuddling?

5. What is the strangest thing you believed as a child?

6. So, what is the funniest pickup line you have ever heard of?

7. On days, when you feel completely bored and demotivated, what helps you to feel energized?

8. 3 things that make you happy?

9. If you could have a superpower what would it be and why?

10. If you had to describe yourself as an animal, which one would it be?

I’m tagging~ @septembershower @i-love-charles @crimsonredemption @mountainhymn aaannnd...I dunno, go for it if you wanna. Lol

[fireeaglespirit]

viviane-lefay

Lovely. Just like the priestesses of Vesta in ancient Rome. ^^

@viviane-lefay

Owh sorry for the very old reply, but YES. The priestess of the “everflame” are directly based on that.. I just really love that part of history and such a nice example of lovable/harmless spirituality. I wanted to have a bit of that on my story too, to balance things out. And it suits Aquila’s back-story perfectly and her relationship with her mom... and her protectiveness. More to come of course, but some stuff I thought is so classical its almost obvious...

Prepare for I’m gonna dump huge amounts of info, lol.. 

The everflame is part, or better said, is the core of an ancient structure left by the avian predecessors, it seats right in the middle of the central floating isle... of course its some sort of spark of life or sacred thing that must be kept burning steadily or chaos will ensure and it could consume everything, but if it goes out, worse things even could happen... those are in the core of the avian worship of the sun and fire, the phoenix, etc... just a very drafty view of that... the everflame can’t be duplicated, as all tentatives resulted in failure... it burns so intensely that anything throw there turns to ashes almost instantly... it must be fed with appropriated materials that are deemed as sacred, in fact very like the nest of the phoenix from Greek and Egyptian legends, if not it goes unstable and roars dangerously.

This flame seats above a very peculiar structure and perhaps or most likely cannot be moved from there. The priestess that tends to it are often garbed in white, but to enter the room of the flames they must cover themselves in a protective armor or cloth woven with golden flammerium (a heat resistant metal), thus their relationship with the color of gold. 

I also like to relate this to the worship at Heliopolis, closely associated with the rising sun and the Egyptian sun-god Ra...so this everflame stands as a symbol of rebirth and quite literally in some ways its a cyclical entity and a bit of Aithnë that still lives in this world. Its a dangerous and wonderful thing.

So it all ties, more or less like this: the phoenix reigns as sovereign of birds, its more or less the ‘pharaoh’ of avians. As the pharaoh is the son of Ra, the phoenix king or queen, is the offspring of Aithnë and its representation on earth... Almost all of avian myths circle around the ancient predecessors that they call ‘gods’, but the myth that crowns their monarch is an older one and mostly misunderstood.  To sum it up, avians only accept a true reborn phoenix to rule over them... as in Arthurian legends, said person must not only be ‘a phoenix’ but be accepted by the flames, as in... its another ritual involving the legendary sword of Solaris in a way that certainly mirrors Excalibur but not exactly like it.  But as you know I’d like to turn around a bit this whole chosen one complex... 

Regarding Aquila’s parents... I don’t think the priestess are forbidden from having lovers, as the avians nature is one of freedom... they are required to be most diligent in the presence of the flames, and thats about it. On top of that, the avian culture has a certain female bias, as birds of prey are known to have bigger and more powerful females, I thought it was an interesting touch... so the position that Damaris is in is very respected, to the point that she is queen regent until the Solaris ritual is complete. Obviously Damaris as high priestess of that faith do believes her husband was all of that but she truly loved his more ordinary side tbh... I really want to one day work their relationship in more detail, but in my mind despite all this and his legendary heroic status, Suzaku is a down to earth guy, he’s just really wants the best for his people and feels a lot of guilty for some things... To sum it up, the female status of those priestess represents power instead of ‘purity’.

I just wanted to share with you some stuff, idk I’ve been thinking so much on how all of those characters entwine and..

This isn’t all set in stone or canon, but I do think, after Seryndra’s demise that her sister Kigaly went upon the floating islands to try to steal that flame, because of its rumored propriety of being able to bring the dead back to life.... of course she wasn't able to do so... because even if she rose to power, the Draconians have limited resources and even so they are a very militaristic society and they have this huge respect for the ancient dragons, so even the monarch can’t act without their consent... in this case once again Polaris saved the day (lol). as you know its a very Kigaly fact that unlike Sindra, she isn't focused on revenge and justice... she’s more concerned on attaining every bit of hope to bring her sister back, so it suits her that she would do this and even that she would have to encounter Suzaku back then... they certainly had a clash there and whatever happened was important for both as he disappeared little time after those events, and Kigaly went back home broken and deranged, to lick her wounds... 

I think right after this Kigaly became truly ‘mad’ and started her bigger experiments that in the future would ‘awaken giants’... 

And Suzaku... perhaps Suzaku went on some quest that he deemed more important than ruling the avians? I think so.. even so, Damaris was left alone with all this, she’s certainly not happy... she starts to believe that perhaps he’s really dead... But Solaris sits still in the everflame and haven’t accepted a new owner ever since... what does that means?

In fact, talking about him.. the whole chosen one complex isn't far from truth, but I want to bring out this whole thing into a more complex view of the world where these two opposing forces are up to their own desires, and its left for our heroes to find a middle ground or a balance.. so its left for Aquila to uncover the truth on those matters, and finally for her and Sindra to find a way to peace in a world doomed to war and hatred... yes I do steal those concepts from Kishimoto, but let’s hope it will end much better and more interesting.

So the Aquila you see that I often draw is not exactly the starting point as she will go thought much trouble before coming around, and even so, believe me as she gets closer to her father’s story she will learn things that are not so good regarding the whole phoenix thing... as its quite a destructive entity and selfish at the most imperative god-like way... so its either leaving the world to darkness, as the ancient serpent returns ‘to eat the light out of it’, or trusting the fury of the phoenix, to banish it once and for all... then there’s the whole other set of problems.. well I hope it all works someday! I certainly love the phoenix theme but I also like to add some ‘darkness’ to it, so all kind of things are possible, yet... 

[stefi-delly]

Initially, I wanted to get something small and simple as my first tattoo, but every time I tried to find or come up with a design, none of them felt right. They felt forced and just an excuse. I ultimately decided to just go for what I actually wanted and coming up with this design with my artist felt right. It took several tries but once she came to this one, I just KNEW this was it.

Now, anyone who's known me a while knows that FIRE is my ~element~ and I am drawn to the power and energy that fire comes with and lol I've evolved to have red and gold as my favorite colors. But yeah, back to the subject- phoenixes are tied to fire as well. They go up in flames and are reborn in the ashes.

That brings me to my second, deeper reason. The phoenix is a symbol of rebirth.

I've struggled on and off with demons inside my own head trying to drag me down and I've had a pretty intense couple of years. 2012 until around 2016, I had a couple of low points, breakdowns and broken bridges. There were moments when I was a toxic person and a terrible friend. I saw negativity in everything. I always managed to find something to be sad or upset or angry about.

But those years also had some big decisions and major leaps I'd managed to make. When I lost a lot of friends in college, I finally accepted I had a problem and sought help. When I was frustrated with my lack of direction, I got up and got a job. When I was losing myself and slowly crashing back into the unhealthy mindsets I thought I'd left behind, I dragged myself out of the void and switched careers.

Now, I'm still a little lost sometimes. I still have disagreements with friends sometimes. I still have close calls and bad days sometimes.

But I'm happy. I'm in a good place. I feel like I am where I am meant to be for now, and that's okay, and I still have energy to climb towards more and more goals I set for myself.

I'm happy.

Every time I found myself crashing and burning, I fought to rise up from the ashes, reborn a stronger and more driven person.

That's why a phoenix. The next time I find myself going up in flames again, I know I'm going to come out of it all the stronger, all the wiser, all the healthier, all the better.

I'm happy.