#a huge disappointment and a source of grief for her)

[what-if-i-dee-eye-do]

I Am A Failure Of A Human Being :)

[thedailybullshit]

So I started Ragnarok last night; here are my thoughts:

I love love LOVE how much closer Kratos & Atreus are instantly shown to be. There’s a huge contrast between their distance in the last game & their easy familiarity in this one.

I’m calling it now but the sled dogs (wolves) are gonna be Skol & Hati.

RIGHT into it w/ Freya to let us know this has been happening for years. I thought it would be the most obvious that bc Kratos killed her son, Freya’s gonna try to kill Atreus. I wasn’t sure she would do that tho, but immediately in her 1st attack she punches Atreus in the face, throws him off the sled, & I think she tried to stab him? It was going really fast so I couldn’t tell but it looked like she tried? So now I’m even less sure. Combat btw is fast paced & engaging.

We didn’t need to start w/ the dog (wolf) dying but okay. Love Kratos trying to help Atreus through his grief in his own way, even if it doesn’t come out quite right.

Also fairly certain that Fenrir was buried instead of burned so they can bring him back intact later on, if that is supposed to be the real Fenrir. Either w/ time travel junk like Jorm or Hel’s death magic.

FAYE?!??! O my god?!??! I’m in love?!?!? Her constantly teasing Kratos IMMEDIATELY after we meet her is just shehfjddjdjdzk?!!?! “Grumbles” duuuude “Am I meant to decipher your grunting?” no I’m definitely in love. It’s so clear that Atreus’s nature as Loki is all her (emphasized by her wearing yellow) & I love it. Also love the callback to the first hunt in the last game when Kratos tells Faye “This is your hunt.” Also can I point out that Kratos saw Faye - same height as him at 7 foot something - perform the same godlike feats of strength as him w/ the same ease & instead of thinking, “Hey I don’t think this woman’s mortal,” thought instead, “Damn, Scandinavian women are built differently.” BRO SHE LIFTED A TREE & then spooky shit happens.

OH SO WE’RE IMMEDIATELY ADDRESSING KRATOS DEAD ON THE WALL, OKAY

“Why won’t this bear fucking die?”

“HOLY SHIT IT’S ATREUS NO”

“Oh he can heal, it’s okay. Also HE CAN SHAPESHIFT THE LOKI POWERS ARE COMING IN YES”

“Kratos was seconds away from killing his other child.”

Speaking of which, Atreus has gotta find out at some point in the game that Kratos had a whole other family. Idk if it’ll come from Kratos but there’s a huge possibility that it won’t. Clearly the Aesir know the gist but if they know he killed his family then Atreus could find out this terrible info from a terrible source at a terrible time.

Speaking of the Aesir, I somehow missed Thor’s height. I thought Tyr was tall but holy shit, Thor’s gotta be like 9 feet. Love everything about this version btw; design, voice, characterization are all on point.

Odin was a bit underwhelming, he kinda looked like a Pope, but I think that’s the point. Odin in Norse myths has a habit of going out in disguise to get people off their guard so it makes sense that this Odin wouldn’t be an imposing figure. Few outside the Aesir would get to see that.

Atreus is looking for Tyr & pretty close to finding him too, nice. Not so nice that Odin & Thor know about it.

HOLY SHIT THE SCRIPTED DEATH THAT TOOK YOU TO A MENU & THE RESURRECTION?!?! What a mindfuck. I’m not ready for the rest of this game.

I don’t think Atreus declined Odin’s invitation to Asgard. Not a good thing given Thor saying that Odin’s got plans for him, those plans likely being execution bc Ragnarok doesn’t happen w/out Loki. What else are you hiding Boy?

Atreus taught Kratos how to read runes & I just think that’s sweet.

Kratos & Mimir really are just coparenting huh.

I thought that what turned out to be called a stalker was gonna be a full on character, not just a regular baddie. Little disappointed. She looked cool tho.

God I missed the dwarves. Sindri tryna act like he hasn’t been helping Atreus, then cowering from Kratos when the truth comes out & Atreus having to get between them (fairly certain that Kratos was partially fucking w/ him tho). & Brok saying to Atreus “What’s that doing in my workshop?” & KRATOS NOT GETTING THE JOKE “That is my son.” THE INTERACTIONS BETWEEN THESE 5 ARE GOLD & I’M SO GLAD KRATOS ATREUS & MIMIR ARE BEING PUT UP W/ THEM.

We’re less than 2 hours into the game & most of the stuff in the trailers has been shown or referenced already. So as stated above, I’m not ready for the rest of this game.

[bisluthq]

Like this encapsulates it. That’s the most BNF Swiftie in Brazil and she’s not happy with how this has gone. She’s also in touch with Ana’s family so she clearly knows what’s up. //

I mean yeah Nat everyone is confused and very disappointed, I know i'm not happy about how Taylor/Tree handled it. The family and friends clearly just want to bring Ana home so they can deal with this huge grief privately...

Her best friend has been talking about this on Twitter if anyone is interested it's @/thxaguito, a way better source for the whole situation and if anyone feels comfortable, you can even give the family some words of support.

I’m gonna send a message to the friend thanks for sharing ❤️❤️

I’m sure she’s getting bombarded but it’s the nice thing to do because we all lost a member of our shared community and that’s terrible 💔💔

It’s also so heartbreaking for me for it to have happened on one of the developing world dates because it must’ve been so exciting to like have her ACTUALLY THERE fucking FINALLY!!! and for it to go like this is just 💔💔

[badpoet]

Roots 12 A Sort of A Trouble

So, you want explanation, why it so and what will come. I will answer truthfully, but the plan... I think it will never be done. You see the world full of beauty. You're walking the streets, You're breath the air. Everything alright. Everyone seems happy. But by the corner left your dark journey is expecting you. Right into yourself. And you are still watching on and forward. Nothing can go wrong. Everything is enough for you. Everything is for you. No shame! But by the corner right your burning light is expecting you. To burn out you from inside. And you still keep going. Everyday is a life. The world is wide open. Forever will be peace outside. You are a winner. A lovable child of a cosmic night. No doubt! But on the path right forward the woman in black (like an unbeatable dragon) is expecting you. To take all from you. And then... To take you. Into the land of dead where no one can hear you. And you stopped. Just in a middle. Everyone like a fish in a huge aquarium is passing by you. You are alone in this world. And all trees and bridges are burning behind you. But! This fatal thought is disappearing, and everything jist fine. Now see. Something bad happened a few decades ago. Not with you. Not with someone who around. Far away. Far beyond. She was born. She was cursed, trapped in the dying worlds. In her dreams are reigning nightmares. In her worlds are reigning daymares. Her life is stolen and time always say 'death'. Her fate is broken. Her face for forever pale. Her eyes are blue, but seems grey or green. Her smiles are faked. Her tears are shame. Nothing wrong with her. Just a bit of pain. She cannot be one of the miracles like She should according to the play. Under a dark blue veil her wisdom Is hiding itself bounded with scary tales. And sometimes in the dark world might be the light. And she see a girl with a pen and paper who is ready to fight. She wish to tell a story of worlds and lives. Such beautiful, fearless and bright. She wish love for life. She wish to write a book about balance inside. Such calm, joyful and light. She wish peace for life. All she desire is knowledge of pure and wise higher mind. To create reality without poison. To move stones and rocks. To open up sources of good lives. To bring back free space in time. But the fear stand strong. Everything is dying. Everything goes wrong. One of ancient ones cannot heal, cannot fix. Still exists. She cannot live, cannot win. She is like Death: Cannot leave the field where everyone is dead, And she is suffering from grief. Lives always are carnivals on her hands which one day Will bow and come to rest. But this is not this story. Only one immortal in the chamber of fear. Praying for hope to change everything. Isn't it funny? I sleep to breathe. I am my biggest disappointment which cannot find a space to live. 24.7.2022

[jungshookz]

teeny tidbits: jungkook picks y/n up from class & all eyes are on him

➺ pairing; badboy!jungkook x y/n 

➺ wordcount; 1.6k

➺ p.s. yes i’m aware this REEKS of 2012 wattpad clichés and i basically groaned and rolled my eyes the entire time i was writing this but i’m trying to redeem myself from the tragedy that was the 2018!badboykook fic and 2021!cee needed to get this out of her system!!! and sometimes cheesy things are good for the soul!! please enjoy this teeny tidbit and feel free to roll ur eyes with me 

(unfortunately i wasn’t able to track down the original maker of this gif but this is where i sourced it from! all credits go to the maker of course :-))) 

                                     »»————-　🏍️　————-««

“can’t you ask jungkook to get us in?” jimin sighs frustratedly, nudging you with his elbow before reaching over and pulling the door open for you, “come on… this is going to be the party of the semester! we can’t miss it!”

“i’m sure there’ll be a big ol’ party next semester, jimin-” you roll your eyes playfully before shaking your head, “besides, we’ve been to dozens of parties already! the world isn’t going to end if we don’t go to this one, right?”

“but kim taehyung is hosting this one!” jimin exclaims, grabbing onto your elbow before giving you a shake, “and his parties are legendary. do you know what people are going to say if they find out i wasn’t there??”

good grief

you’ve come to really like jimin in the five-ish months that you’ve gotten to know him, but if there’s one thing you could change about him it’d be his obsession with campus parties

(sometimes you think that jimin probably wouldn’t hang around you as much if you weren’t dating jungkook and his magical ability to get into pretty much any party possible... but that’s a conversation you can have with him another day.)

“you care far too much about what people think.” you frown, shaking your head in disappointment, “i promise you no one’s going to care when you tell them you weren’t at one party-”

“come on…! please??” your eyes widen when jimin stops in his tracks and stomps down on the ground like a petulant child, his plush bottom lip pushed out in a pathetic little pout, “don’t do this to me, huh? just- just bring it up to jungkook and see what he says- promise me you’ll ask jungkook- please please please-”

“okay, okay!” you turn around to face jimin before letting out a huff, “fine. if it’ll get you to stop whining, i promise you i’ll ask jungkook about getting you-”

“-us-”

“-us- getting us into this dumb party.” you smile, crossing your fingers behind your back, “happy?”  

you most certainly will noT be asking jungkook about getting you guys into this party because you’re sick of going to parties!

sure, this is all part of your ~university experience~ but that doesn’t mean you have to go to a party every other weekend

you’d love to just stay in and sleep

god, you’d kill for a good, long night of sleep...

even thinking about it now is making you drowsy

“mhm!” jimin’s face immediately lights up in a delighted smile before he points over your shoulder, “you can ask him right now.”

“ask him n-” you glance over your shoulder, eyes widening in surprise to see jungkook waiting for you by the sidewalk, “-ow... uh, perfect!”

jungkook’s here!

...you… weren’t expecting him to be... here...

jungkook gives a couple of girls a polite smile and a nod of acknowledgement as they walk past him with flirty giggles

“okay, uh-” you turn back to give jimin a stiff smile before crinkling your nose and holding a finger up, “would you mind waiting here for me?”

“i'll wait as long as you want me to as long as you get us into that party-!” jimin calls out after you as you hurry down the brick steps to jungkook

“holy shit. i’d love give his motorcycle a ride-” 

“mhm, any day... any day!” 

you stumble over your feet a little as two girls brush past you from behind, leaving a trail of sweet-smelling perfume tickling at your nose

“hey, there you are!” a grin spreads on jungkook’s face when he sees you coming towards him, pushing himself up so he’s not leaning against his motorcycle, “i was worried i was at the wrong building.”

“uh-huh, so what are you-” you clear your throat quietly before letting out a nervous chuckle, giving your boyfriend a chummy, super casual and not at all romantic punch to the chest, “what are you, uh, doing… here?”

“picking you up from… class?” he mocks your high-pitched tone with a boyish smile before pursing his lips, “you are done for the day, right? that’s what your schedule says.”

“yeah, i’m done, i just- wait a minute-” you frown, your eyes flickering to the side as you try to recall jungkook’s schedule, “shouldn’t you be in a biology lecture right now?”

“the prof dismissed us, like, forty minutes early.” jungkook shrugs, “so i thought i’d come and pick you up so that you didn’t have to walk all the way back to your dorm to meet m-”

“-why’d you take the bandaids off your cheek?” you interrupt him suddenly as you reach up to cup his face, gently brushing your thumb over the healing cut on his cheekbone (he was half-asleep and walked directly into the frame of the bathroom door), “i told you to keep them on for another day. i was going to take them off for you tonight.”

“they made me look lame.” he scrunches his nose and you immediately frown in disapproval, “plus, showing off the cut makes me look so much cooler-”

“that’s not a legitimate excuse-”

“it so is!” jungkook turns his head before pointing at it, “look at that and tell me you don’t think i’m cool-”

it’s not that you don’t love that jungkook knows what time you finish class and where exactly to pick you up (swoon!)- the thing that’s making you nervous is the fact that people naturally seem to just... stare at him whenever he’s around

to be fair, you would stare too if you didn’t know him!

the all-black outfit, the perfectly tousled hair that never seems to be out of place, the obviously very handsome face, and the shiny shiny motorcycle that makes a very obnoxious vrOOm-vroOOom sound whenever he revs the engines

you’re not embarrassed to be seen with him because you are very!!! fond of your boyfriend but…

well, it’s just that if they’re staring at him, they’re most definitely staring at you, too  

and sometimes you worry that you don’t look very compatible with jungkook... and then you worry that people are laughing at you and only you... and then you wonder what people mutter to each other whenever they walk past you two and give you that awful ‘how did someone like you land someone like him?’ stare... and then you feel like you have to prove that you’re dating jungkook but you don’t want to make a scene...

it certainly doesn’t help that there are rubber-duckies on your socks

also, it’s hitting you now that it’s pretty hypocritical to call jimin out on how intense he is about other people’s opinions of him when you’re so in your head about this

jungkook tilts his head curiously when he notices you glancing around like there’s a big target on your back and he resists the urge to snort

he knows exactly why you’re so twitchy, and as much as he wants to reassure you and tell you that literally no one is paying attention to the two of you - and even if they did, who cares? - ...well, he’s allowed to have his fun, isn’t he?  

“oh, what’s the matter, sweet girl? you still embarrassed to be seen with me?” jungkook coos mockingly, slipping an arm around your waist as he pulls you in towards him with a cheeky grin, “hm? don’t want anyone to see your big, bad boyfriend?”

“jungkook-!” you grip onto his forearm in alarm when he leans in, nudging his nose under your jaw so he can give the side of your neck a teasing bite, “cut it out, you weirdo-” your face immediately goes bright pink and you reach up to flatten your palm against his chest to create some distance, “jimin’s still over there-”

“is he?” jungkook hums, giving your warm cheek a kiss before pulling away and looking up towards the staircase, “ah, yep. i see him...” he gives jimin a wave accompanied with a friendly smile and jimin takes that as a sign to come over and join you two

“oh, god. he’s coming over.” jungkook keeps the smile on his face as he looks back down at you, “please tell me he’s not about to ask me about another party. i’m starting to worry that the number of times i’ve asked to come to a party is starting to make me look desperate for socialization- hey, jimin!”

you turn around so you can face jimin and jungkook reaches down to link his fingers with yours  

“hey, bro!!!!” jimin greets a little too enthusiastically as he holds up his fist for a bump, jungkook’s eyes flicking down to it before he reluctantly raises his own arm to bump his fist against jimin’s, “so, like, i’m sure y/n’s already debriefed you on kim taehyung’s party-”

“ah, yeah. taehyung’s party- you sure you wanna go to that one?” jungkook frowns as he glances back down at you, “because taehyung’s from one of the sleazier frats-”

“i heard they pop open bottles of champagne and spray them, like, all over everyone-” jimin gushes, jungkook raising a brow before chuckling lightly

“and you… want that?”

“it’ll look great on my instagram highlights.”

“that… yeah, that’s a bonus for sure.” jungkook gives your hand a squeeze and you bite back a giggle, “who cares about wasting multiple bottles of expensive champagne when they make for a great instagram highlight?”

“see? you get it!” jimin chirps before looking over at you, “he gets it, y/n.”

“mm, he certainly does.”

(jungkook likes jimin, it’s just that he thinks he’s a little too eager about his place on the social ladder sometimes…)

“oh, and don’t worry-” jimin beams, “y/n and i won’t abandon you at the party or anything because i hear their house is huge-”

“yeah, because i’m the third wheel in this trio.”

🎙️help me help you make your wishes come true (send me a request!)

✨why don’t you explore the rest of the library while you’re here?

💫or perhaps you want something shorter to read?

🌟or something even shorter?

[k7l4d4]

Danny Phantom AU: ParaNormal

Hello all, I am a huge fan of Danny Phantom, but I often found myself disappointed with how underutilized certain characters and aspects of the show were before its conclusion. This AU is based on how Clockwork, the ghost in charge of overseeing time and the future, witnessing the formation of a NEW Timeline Parallel to the main. Everybody clap your hands!!

The basic premise is based on this: What if the Fentons had support for their research, like a proper laboratory? This is essentially based on the thought that the Fentons managed to publish and profitize some of the side-benefits of their research, such as Ectoplasm powered gear and weaponry, specifically the viability of Ectoplasm as a fuel source itself! After getting this revolution out there, the Fentons managed to reel in some support for their research, even partnering with a few groups in order to conduct more tests than was feasible prior. Let’s be honest here, in canon they were basically operating off of a shoe-string budget and their own ingenuity for their inventions, along with whatever devices they could repurpose to make more.

However, all that success comes at a cost, particularly when it attracts enemies. During a tour of their main lab building by the local elementary school, with support and supervision from local parents and industries, a disgruntled employee decides to cause some trouble after he’s fired for his conduct on the job. He destabilizes the prototype portal, while a young Danny, Sam, and Tucker, all of whom had snuck away from the class for their own reasons, are in the room. The resulting explosion changes everything.

Danny, Sam, and Tucker disappeared that day, presumed dead. The explosion devastated the town, random portals and specters appearing on an almost daily basis. Life as Amity Park had known it was irrevocably altered. A prominent side effect of the explosion was the emergence of Half-sides, people who had been exposed so deeply to ectoplasm that they had become essentially part ghost, though not to the extent that Danny was in Canon. I’ll detail some of the prominent ones below.

Paulina Sanchez: Half-sides typically are regarded with a mix of suspicious caution at best, paranoiac fear at worst. For emergent Social Butterfly Paulina, this essentially crippled her. Paulina has always been lethally self-conscious, particularly about her worth, often seeing herself as nothing without her beauty, the one thing that people outside of her family seemed to care about in regards to her; she wasn’t athletic, she wasn’t a very good student (at the time), she was just the pretty face on the playground. When she became a Half-side, all of that went away. While still extremely self-conscious, Paulina is more comfortable in her own skin, and genuinely kind to others, though she certainly has a vindictive side to those who cross her. Paulina’s primary ability is the ability to travel through mirrors, as well as communicate through them, and store things in them. It’s rare to see her without at least one form of mirror on hand. Paulina is also something of the local conspiracy theorist, albeit one who’s usually right; her ability to spy on others through whatever reasonably reflective surface is nearby aids in this immensely.

Star: While many often confuse her ditzy attitude with genuine unintelligence, Star is sharp as a tack, easily the smartest kid in her generation. She just rarely cares enough to show it, preferring to live life without the extreme expectations of the exceptional burdening her. Star is Paulina’s oldest friend, some have even speculated they might be more, and is always willing to stick up for her when she gets grief for being a Half-side. Star herself possesses an unusual power, in that she can capture past and future events of anyone she takes a picture of. Star is never seen without some form of Image Capturing device, often carting a Polaroid Camera around her neck. She’s occasionally wondered how her powers would interact with film and video, but she so far hasn’t tested it.

Dash Baxter: Once having a future as a promising Athlete, the emergence of his Half-side powers sealed his chances at a successful future. Dash gains in strength, speed, and endurance proportional to his stress or aggression, entering a complete berserker state when sufficiently enraged. The sheer chaos he’s caused in the throws of his anger, as well as the slew of ruined property and broken objects whenever his strength flared up has turned him into a lonely outcast that no one is willing to tolerate being around bar his small circle of friends. Dash occasionally tries to bluster and act like a tough guy, but his isolation has ruined his self-confidence, leaving him starved for interpersonal contact and validation; you could literally just tell him good job, being a random person on the street, and he’ll act like he won the lottery.

Kwan: An all-around nice guy, Kwan has served as the peacekeeper among his peers for years, even as his parents worried about his behavior taking a turn for the worse if he strayed into the wrong crowd. Kwan is a sweetheart, regularly volunteering at local shelters and charities, as well as soup kitchens, he’s single-handedly done more for the reputation of Half-sides than anyone else. Kwan’s power can essentially be summed up as weaponized Empathy; anyone he comes into direct physical contact with feels the accumulated emotions of everyone their actions have negatively impacted from the perspective of said victims. His abilities are so potent that, during an incident in Middle School, when he attempted to stop a man from assaulting a woman, his mere touch sent the man into screaming hysterics as the sheer amount of pain and suffering he had inflicted to others hit him all at once, literally driving him mad. As a result, Kwan always wears a pair of gloves. ALWAYS.

Well, here’s the basic idea. Let me know what you all think!

[catty-words]

jatp women appreciation week - day 4 - favorite scene: the season’s emotional climax

julie’s relationship with rose is the emotional center of the show — because julie’s grappling with the loss of it, sure, but more importantly because rose is the person who brought music into julie’s life. for these reasons, rose is never far from julie’s mind. there are, however, episodes that focus more heavily on the influence rose exerts on julie even in death. namely, wake up, finally free, stand tall, and unsaid emily. during the latter, mothers are so present in julie’s mind, she folds luke’s relationship with emily into her preoccupation. but where she’s able to effectively open a channel of communication between luke and his mom — with the language she and all the people she cares about most speak most fluently: music — julie doesn’t feel the same closeness with rose. (“i know how hard it is when you want to speak to someone you love and can’t. i feel that way every day.”)

so when she hears that the boys’ only available paths all lead them away from her forever, naturally she feels bomb-that-obliterates-everything upset.

here she was, already feeling sensitive about reaching for someone who can’t be there. of course the likely loss of her phantoms exacerbates her fear that she’s somehow responsible for the fact that no one can fully offer themselves back to her.

or maybe, as the fortuitous entrance of rose’s sunset curve t-shirt suggests, julie’s just been looking for that connection in the wrong places, with too many preconceptions about what it should look like.

take this exchange:  

we know from episode 1.04 that julie’s attached to the idea that rose and her boys have some kind of divine connection since she’s disappointed to find out that they’re tethered to carrie’s dad instead. but here she is, hardly jumping for joy at the prospect that rose could still have had some kind of relationship with the phantoms because she’d been hoping for something more profound than a t-shirt.

flynn, being the supportive friend and insightful person that she is, points out that something as simple as rose being familiar with sunset curve’s music doesn’t have to lack meaning.

this beat in the scene is one of my favorite flynn moments because flynn’s main source of strife for the season was that she wasn’t able to get through julie’s grief to julie’s love of music and inspire her to play again. her enthusiastically giving credit to the phantoms may be an understated act of selflessness, but it’s an act of selflessness nonetheless.

julie’s not quite able to accept the sentiment at face value, though.

she sounds so matter-of-fact, so certain, that if rose wanted her to play music she would have found a way to let julie know. except we can look back at the events of the season and see that rose did leave behind a pretty clear message in the form of “wake up” that sticking with music even after her death was exactly what she wanted for julie. so why does julie feel so strongly that her mom didn’t reach out to her? well, although she’s taken huge steps in dealing with her grief, julie hasn’t fully accepted that her mom cannot be there for her the way she was when she was alive. she’s still looking for the comforts she’s used to (see her alleyway speech in 1.09, “why can’t you just come pick me up and hold me in your arms” etc.) instead of opening herself up to the possibility flynn’s talking about: signs.

that is, until flynn puts julie in her place about mocking such things as absurd.

and we get to see clearly that julie takes the point.

which is what allows flynn to drop her theory and get to the heart of matters:

in the end, whether or not rose has a hand in the phantoms’ presence in julie’s life has no bearing on how julie handles the news that she’s losing them. the choice on how to act from here is up to julie and only julie. does she continue reaching for a connection that’ll slip through her fingers or does she close herself up again and reject that renewed spark for life she’s only just started to feel comfortable with? there’s precedence for her choosing the latter, but like julie helped luke heal old wounds by offering an unexpected way to connect with his mom, flynn is here to help julie find rose though signs. not as straightforward a comfort as a hug, to be sure, but sometimes you have to accept that love doesn’t come to you in the ways you’re expecting. and opening herself to the hope that reaching for something intangible doesn’t necessarily leave her empty-handed is what drives julie out into the studio, nervous for the future but determined to give back to the phantoms the chance at peace they gave her.

[simplystefanie-rae]

God there’s so much I want to say about the wandavision finale I’m not even sure where to start.

Well I guess first I’ll start with just how SHOCKED I genuinely am that Vision is, for all intents and purposes, alive (unless he destroyed himself, but we didn’t see it and that would be rude AF). He’s not our Vision right now but they left a door wide open for him to come back at any point, and to that I tip a hundred hats to them. I had a bit of a post set aside that I was in the middle of writing up about Vision’s character and how I felt he would be wasted if they killed him off for good now (even if this undermined the theme of the show to a degree), and I never got the chance to finish it before the finale, and fuck I’m glad I didn’t now, since it turns out I didn’t need it lol. 

Hex! Vision mid season started questioning who he was, and as I was thinking he was definitely a goner I thought it was a shame because this arc of the android character questioning their identity and sense of self was what I wanted for Vision from the beginning. This Vision had his closure in that regard, but as he was purely an extension of Wanda it wasn’t really to the true Vision’s characters’ benefit. White Vision’s appearance gave me hope but I still figured Hex! Vision would kill him so Wanda wouldn’t have to do it, but instead they have a philosophical discussion and his memories get unlocked. Now what I’m really hoping for is a long journey (could not even begin to guess what project would give the room for this) of Vision re-discovering his humanity. He has all these memories, but maybe not the emotions to go along with it? I wish they were just a little more clear on that before he just took off and we didn’t see him again.

Which I suppose can lead to the rest of my review/observations. Under a cut because this got long.

I think the episode really could have benefitted from just 20 more minutes to let it all have a chance to breathe. A few more minutes for Wanda and Agatha’s fight, a few more for the Visions, a few more for Wanda’s reaction to nearly getting killed by white Vision, a few more for Monica...like it was all good things, but it needed more. I feel like there WANTED to be more but it was cut for run time, but why such a short run time in the first place? I never complained about the episode length until now.

Mostly I think I just wanted more lore on the Scarlet Witch, and Wanda coming to terms with what that meant. Honestly okay, I say we needed just 20 more minutes, but maybe it could have benefited from another 20 of Agatha giving Wanda her own little walkabout through the history of witches and what it means to be a witch to give Wanda some space to accept that hey, she’s a fucking witch, and now she realizes she has a lot more power than she thought and it’s this huge responsibility she needs to get a handle on. We see her accept this mantle and identity, but not really why. 

I guess Wanda has been struggling to come to terms with her powers for years now, what’s one more thing added on top of that. But that combined with her accepting all the loss in her life, there had to be a neater way to tie the two things together. All the ingredients are THERE they probably just needed to be written by the writer of episode 8. At least I’m assuming it’s a different writer, since 8 was basically perfect and this one not so much. 

I’m assuming we’ll see more of what it means to be the SW in Doctor Strange. I worry a little but how far they’re going to push Wanda into morally grey territory. I think it’s clear at this point her being just a straight up hero is off the table, at least for now. She hurt way too many people, she knows this, and I think is accepting it in a way that, while she’s not going to go out of her way to do bad shit, probably thinks she’s incapable of being a hero so what’s the point in trying. She might be more self serving, if that end credits clip is anything to go by. 

Maybe? Honestly that could go so many ways. She did say to Monica that she wanted to understand her powers, presumably because she doesn’t want to be this being that destroys the whole world, but I would thinking studying from a book called the Darkhold wouldn’t be the way to go. But then again that’s the book that is written about her and she has no other source to go to other than Agatha, who she doesn’t trust with good reasoning, so I guess there was no other option for her. Urgh, what a mess lol. I’ll talk more about Wanda’s potential future in another post though, it’s so much to get into. 

Other observations/thoughts: Monica in general. I’m going back and forth on whether or not she was truly underused or if the smallest glance of her powers was an appropriate tease of better things to come for her. Because while I wanted a cool ass fight scene with her, at the same time I think she deserves her own platform to have this moment of payoff so we can really just enjoy it for HER and not have to also focus on Wanda’s character arc as well. So while I was disappointed we didn’t see a more kickass moment from her, I’m excited for more, and for her to really shine on her own. We got a great introduction to her character and why she’s a hero, I’d like to see the true culmination of this in Captain Marvel 2 or whatever other project she may be in first.

Evan Peters just being Ralph is the funniest fucking thing in the world to me and honestly is what I deserve after so many people just hopping on board this show just to see a character that has very little to do with Wanda to begin with. At the end of the day, this story was about Wanda’s grief, Vision’s identity, and to a much smaller extent Monica’s origin story, not this huge introduction to X-men like everyone kept trying to force it to be, and thank god for that. While the finale didn’t hold up as much as the rest of the show, it was so successful because it was an intimate character study and Marvel needs to realize it can do more of that. Episode 8 was the best of it for a reason. 

I have some more small criticisms, like my confusion over how Wanda’s powers are actually suppose to work (why did Monica’s clothes not change from it’s 70s hex form, is it because the hex was still up, and now that it’s down they changed back? Why are Wanda’s powers regulated to being inside a barrier but then she can just control/change Agatha back into Agnes and presumably keep that going when the hex gets taken down?), is Agnes/Agatha just suppose to continue to live in Westview when all the people there knows she’s not suppose to be there? That’s so dark, to be constantly reminded of this awful thing that happened, but at the same time that just seems like sloppy writing and that the writer didn’t actually think through how that was suppose to work. We don’t know if the residents know who exactly she is, just that she wasn’t there before the hex, so I honestly don’t know what they would make of her. And while Wanda is definitely more morally grey now (Agatha even said this was cruel) I don’t think she would force this constant reminder on the people that she just took the hex down for. I’ll just chalk it up to sloppiness.

I also am conflicted on Agatha in general. On one hand, I wish she had a better motive then wanting more magic for more powers sake, but on the other she’s such an unapologetically bad bitch I have to respect it. I did like the beat of her being scared of Wanda’s power and suggesting that there are things even she fears, though it sure was arrogant of her to think she could handle this power she’s also terrified of. But anyway I’m glad she’s not dead, I want her to be more fleshed out. Maybe some point down the road Wanda says fuck it and releases her so she can teach her. It can be the morally grey witch + evil witch reluctant friendship/tutelage we deserve.

I’ll talk about Vision and Wanda’s scene at the end in other post since that’s gonna be a lot more positive. Lizzie and Paul are so fucking good together, they really sold the emotion of the ending even if I was questioning things. 

Oh also, Marvel, can we PUH-LEASE give Wanda her brown hair back??? The red is killing me. That post credits scene should have had her brown roots showing to give me peace of mind that theyre not gonna keep it like this!!! Also style the curly hair better for Doctor Strange please. Not a fan of the weird waves it had going. 

[thelastofgala]

Here are some more of my thoughts on Parallelism in The Last of Us 2. I’m also thinking about Ellie and Joel in their “Nightmare Years,” and how the writers are using symbols, parallels, and the game’s promotional trailers to fuck with our emotions:

***Major Spoilers And a discussion of Grief Under the Cut***

My personal observation of Joel’s death in TLoU2 is that it was always going to happen, and that its occurrence so soon in the story, while shocking, was necessary and even predictable, based on the plot of the previous game, and obvious parallels between Joel and Ellie. Note that I’ve now played through the Hillcrest chapter and the second flashback with Joel and Ellie at the hotel. I’m currently in the fucking sewer system, and there are Stalkers like, everywhere.

Ellie and Joel: Parallels

In my last post, I wrote about Joel’s parallels mostly with Riley (and I have more on that, for a different post) but I also wrote about Joel’s parallels with Sarah, mainly that we begin TLoU2 with Joel, setting up certain expectations right away, ie: both Joel and Sarah meet tragic fates early on in the story propelling their heroes past the threshold and into their respective journeys. But Ellie and Joel, as protagonists, are the most compelling parallel of the game, to me.

Learning of Joel’s violent past as a hunter and seeing his life as a violent, amoral smuggler is much easier to understand once, via Ellie, we get a taste of the anger he must have felt after a member of the US Military shot and killed Sarah in front of him. The senselessness of Sarah’s death, our feel of betrayal and surprise from Joel’s point of view are then echoed in Joel’s own death scene in TLoU2, which we witness helplessly from Ellie’s point of view. A long time ago, I made a post wondering whether Ellie’s journey in TLoU2 would echo Joel’s off-screen journey in the years immediately following the Outbreak--what Tommy inadvertently refers to in TLoU as a “nightmare.” Sort of like the Abyss stage in the Hero’s Journey, it is in these nightmare trials that all hope seems lost, and we are at the lowest possible point of the story. I am definitely sticking with this interpretation after playing through a pretty big chunk of TLoU2.

The one major difference between how Ellie and Joel’s journeys are being portrayed in their respective stories is where their stories start: Joel’s journey picks up 20 years after Sarah’s death. He is through the Abyss, on the upswing, his path to clarity and renewal. With Ellie, however, the story starts in the descent. We, the player, are inside the nightmare that, with Joel, we only got to hear about, and even then, it’s all incredibly vague.

We don’t get to see Joel in his “nightmare years” with Tommy. We don’t get to know all the bad things he did and all of the hard choices he made in order to survive after Sarah’s death and up until the point that we meet him 20 years later in TLoU. We get hints from Tess, from Tommy, and stuff implied via Joel’s know-how, his obviously violent transformation from jokey single dad in the rural suburbs of Austin to dangerous smuggler in the Boston QZ. Instead of learning about Joel’s life in the years following Sarah’s death, we seem to be playing through them, metaphorically, as Ellie in the years immediately following his. Just a current observation on how the story is unfolding, to me.

Gameplay Empathy w/ Ellie

Starting with Joel’s death scene: I first noticed how the writers are using gameplay and point of view to fuck with our emotions while watching Joel’s actual death. I remember feeling, not grief, but intense, white hot anger. How did this work? In a couple ways, I thought. Having us play as Abby prior to the scene turns out to set up a totally personal sense of betrayal for the player. We previously fight from her point of view, relentlessly ensuring her survival in earlier scenes, only to then watch her murder Joel, with no way to intervene. Our sense of betrayal is compounded of course by the fact that we love Ellie, and Ellie loves Joel, and the way that Abby kills Joel, with a golf club in the basement of a lavish ski house in Jackson Hole, is somehow both barbaric and maddeningly mundane. For all of this, I felt, with Ellie, blind hatred and anger. I didn’t feel any actual grief over Joel’s death until visiting his house, and even then, I couldn’t even really acknowledge it until the first flashback at the science museum--hearing his voice again was what specifically did me in. In the moment of his death, I just kept thinking that it was bullshit, it wasn’t fair. He deserved a better death, right? There are no good deaths, I’d argue intellectually in the aftermath. But in the moment, I was fucking enraged.

This sense of simulated motivation and empathy for the player is really interesting to me. It feels linked hopelessly to the medium. In a movie, we need only to sympathize with our protagonist. We are vicarious voyeurs. But in a video game, we are willing and active participants, and empathy is more important. While playing Ellie on her relentless hunt through WLF-occupied Seattle, the player, like her, must be motivated by anger and revenge. 

I am continuously intrigued by how the game is manipulating my emotions so that I may be placed in maximum empathy with Ellie at any given moment. Use of visual and story symbols like the guitar are mini-triggers which call Joel to mind at unexpected turns. We will be steadily solving puzzles, distracted into a lull by collecting supplies in a vast and beautiful environment, and then, boom: the guitar, and the song. If I ever were to lose you... It’s like an anchor to the truth. 

The trailers have also, I’ve found, been a major source of grief and disappointment for me, placing me firmly within Ellie’s constant cycle of denial and realization as we go. For example, in the release date trailer, during a pivotal moment, it is Joel who places his hand over Ellie’s mouth, and it is Joel who says, “You think I’d let you do this on your own?” So when this happens in game, during the Hillcrest escape, its a huge moment. The player is filled with anticipation and excitement. We are going to see Joel. Regardless of whether it is real or not, we are going to see him. 

But at this point in the story, it’s not Joel. In game, in real time, it’s Jesse. They’re fucking with us. It’s like we’re living inside of Ellie’s delusion, her grief and her fantasy. That Joel would be there at the last moment to save her life, as he did so many times in TLoU. As he did in the hotel outside of Jackson, with the Bloater who had her pinned to the floor. It’s not Joel, it’s Jesse. The disappointment is crushing, but the truth makes sense. It’s so obvious. Of course it’s Jesse. We’re just reliving the past, with Ellie. Over and over again, and we can’t escape. This game is turning out to be a very interesting mediation on grief, and how it follows us, how it can even change and mold our perception of reality. 

These are my latest takes on TLoU2. As usual, they’re just personal observations and points of view, not meant to change anyone’s mind. I’m not finished with the game, so please no spoilers or spoilery comments in the replies. Thank you! ^_^ -gala

[sour-heart-treats]

hiiiiii kris 💖💖💖💖 twirls my hair cutely will you write timekeeper and croissant angst based off of our dumb shenanigans on discord

There have always been some... Odd occurrences when it came to reflective surfaces. Perhaps it was just her experiences with how timelines often emitted strange and distorted forms of light, but Croissant couldn't help but be curious as to why this was the case. She wasn't much for figuring out the physics of light, that was more of her brother's field, but... In the very least, reflective surfaces should be accurate when a wormhole isn't involved. Reflective surfaces should act as they normally do, so long as there isn't some type of abnormality in this location. And, when it comes to being within the TBD, Croissant knew full-well there shouldn't be any oddities around here... This was the most stable place in all of the space-time continuum!

...As much of an idiotic choice it was to hide here, perhaps it was that stupidity of an idea that made it unexpected and a good place to hide!

Yet despite its stability, there was still something missing. The reflection that Croissant should have seen in the headlights of her craft should have been of herself, but... It just... Wasn't. Sure, it was about the same palette, but there was far more yellow and far less brown. If she stared close enough, she could even see a... Spiral? That wasn't a part of the mechanic's headlight, nor was it a part of anything that could be reflected. Narrowing her gaze, Croissant grew curious of what could have caused this, though the source was quite different than what one would expect.

"You really thought you could outrun me again and again, didn't you?" That voice-!

Croissant whipped around, holding out her wrench defensively to the deity that made their presence more than just a bit known. "T-Timekeeper!? I thought you were- You shouldn't be-"

"I shouldn't be where I control, and should be out looking for other places to control and bring under my grasp? Oh, how simple-minded you can be..." Backing away from the mechanic, Timekeeper grinned with an aura that shook Croissant to her core each time she encountered this devious tricker. "Come now, sweet Croissant, you may have thought your reverse psychology would have gotten me off of your trail, but you have forgotten... I know more about you than you know of yourself. In fact, you could learn such if you just gave up and joined the rest of your family."

Blinking, the fixer-upper of a cookie couldn't help but be taken aback. Sure, she knew of Caramel being taken into the TBD as some higher figure- not of his own will- but the rest of her family, too? Why... "I'm- I'm not going to give up on taking down such a poorly led organization!" There was a laugh from Timekeeper, one that brought a small growl from Croissant. "You laugh now, but- but know that no matter what happens to me or those around me, I'm not going to stop fighting!"

"No matter what happens, you say?" The deity drew closer once more, floating upon their scissors and gently bringing down that wrench that was such a 'huge threat' to them. "Now that sounds quite selfish, now doesn't it? Ruining others just so you could have your way? You really haven't considered what your actions are doing to others, have you?" Another laugh, and in the blink of an eye the keeper was gone. Croissant searched the area as fast as her eyes could process, only settling upon seeing Timekeeper within the lens of her craft.

"Everything you're doing is for naught, my dearest... If only you could see that..." Croissant huffed in response, grip tightening on her wrench as the trickster continued to spout nonsense that she wouldn't dare listen to. Not in a million years, or eons if time travel had anything to do with it! "Continue down this path and not only will you destroy yourself. Your family will be disappointed upon realizing that you have failed... And that you have done nothing more than cause more grief than joy."

"Even I, the one who believed in you the most, am doubting your capabilities... Truly, you are going down the worst of timelines." More and more would be babbled on. Any interjections Croissant would make would be heckled and retorted, with nothing new coming about from it aside from a dwelling sensation of heat that began to bubble over.

"I wish you understood just how horrifically you're ruining yourself and others... Perhaps in another time, you will finally be able to realize your true purpose. Your purpose o-"

The sound of glass shattering echoed through the room. The engineer wouldn't listen to them any longer. With glass shards stuck in her glove and her wrench thankfully undamaged... It took a few passing moments for Croissant to realize precisely what she had done. Well, it was only moments, but it could be felt to be hours. "...You really like your provocation, don't you Timekeeper?" Croissant spoke bitterly, though there wasn't anyone there to listen. Not... Not physically, anyway.

"As soon as I'm done repairing this headlight, I assure you... I'm not stopping no matter what kind of manipulation you attempt to bring upon me!"

[bluebellhairpin]

Fight or Flight, Rider [6]

Poe Dameron X Pilot!Reader

A/N: This took me too long to write, and it’s got the word count of Kylo Ren’s body count; so get ready for the long haul because I’ve got a bad feeling about this *evil laugh* - Nemo 

Summary: (y/n) doesn’t seem to like to make things easy for herself. Her mouth might give her about as much grief as if does blessings. 

Series Masterlist

Masterlist  

[Gif was sourced on Pinterest. Credit to thee maker!] 

“How does it feel?”

“The collar is too tight, and the fabric is itchy.”  Rey tugged on the hem of the jacket, trying to make it less itchy, stepping back to observe how you looked.  

“You’d ought to be thankful you’re not actually part of the First Order, and have to wear their uniform everyday.” she said, smiling at you as you moved over to the nearby mirror fragment. You mimicked her actions, tugging the jacket’s hem down, and then ran a finger around it’s collar.

“They’ll notice it’s not mine.” 

“No they won't.” She came up behind you, placing her hands on your shoulders, and looking at your reflection over your shoulder. “They’ll be too stunned at the pretty new Officer to notice your pant legs at a centimeter too short.” 

You looked at her, raising an eyebrow before shaking her off your shoulders. 

“If they manage to see me at all.” you added, bumping Z2 lightly with your foot, before continuing, “Let’s just get this over with, huh?”

“Couldn't agree more Rider.” 

__________

“- Any questions, Major?” Gareth said, stepping aside from the ship, after trying to explain whatever he thought was necessary to explain. 

“Um, yes? Where on earth did you get a First Order ship from?” You were stuck between feelings of awe and confusion at the ship in front of you. How you’d never noticed it before - considering it was sleek and black and First Order all over - was beyond your thinking right now, all you did know was that you were going to be lucky enough to fly it.

“Here or there. I can’t remember.” you looked over at Gareth, now uncertain. 

“You, one of the most informed people here, don’t know where this came from?”

“I said I didn’t remember. There’s a difference.” he shrugged. Running a hand along the ship’s hull, he looked over at you. “Excuse the pun, but a lot is riding on you now. Whether you’re ready for it or not, what you do in the next twelve hours will change how the war ends.” 

“If you’re trying to make me feel less nervous, it’s not really working Commander.” You flicked the collar of the uniform up, keeping it un-creased as you ducked around the ship to the door. “I appreciate the sentiment though.” you said, shooting him a wink and climbed into the cockpit. 

“Wait! Don’t go yet!” Poe yelled, practically sprinting out of the base and into the hanger, trying to make sure he caught you before you left. 

You’d already managed to say goodbye to the greater half of the base, including Rey, Finn, and Joon. Even BB, but no Poe until now. 

You had spoken to Poe again last night - after Rey rudely interrupted you - but it wasn’t for long, and it wasn’t about the almost-kiss. Honestly you couldn’t quite remember what it was about, Poe had fallen asleep not too long into the conversation, and you followed suit - leaving him in his dorm to retreat to your own. 

A single once-over of Poe told you he hadn’t bothered changing out of the clothes he fell asleep in. 

“Jeez, I’ve been trying to hunt you down all morning.” Poe said, climbing the side of the ship to bring his face level to yours. “You don’t like staying in one place long, huh sweetheart?” 

“You just woke up Poe.” you laughed, and your chest tightened. What if this was the last time you laughed with him? 

“You can’t prove that.” his said, words as soft as his smile.

Did he hear your unspoken question?

“Oh I can - whether anyone believes me or not, that’d be where the problem lies.” A beat passed before you spoke again. “What were you looking for me for?” 

“I felt I had a missed opportunity last night.” You quirked an eyebrow up at that. A smile tugging at your lips.

“Really?” 

“Yes. I need to clock-in that opportunity.” You learnt over to the ship’s control panel, flicking a switch and pressing a couple buttons to warm up the engine. 

“Sure you do Dameron.” 

“Does that mean I don’t get a kiss?” He said, his voice was joking, but one look and you could tell he was a little disappointed. He always spoke more with his eyes than his actual voice.

“Oh whatever.” you said, leaning over the space created by the ship to grab the back of his neck and pull his lips flush to yours. It was clumsy, and slightly rushed, but when you both pulled away your breath was taken away just the same. 

You both waited for a moment, your fingers toying with his curls ever-so-slightly, before you pulled away further.

“Thank you.” Poe said, smiling from ear to ear. You frowned, even though your smile mirrored his.

“What’re you thanking me for?”

“Well now I know what to look forward to more of once you get back.” 

____________

It wasn’t until about halfway through the hyperjump that your nerves settled in again. Z2 was no help. He kept beeping and buzzing as if he was nervous too, and that only unsettled you. You swore the day Z2 was open about his droid-feelings was the day you died.

In this situation it didn’t fill you with your much needed confidence. 

Back when you were on Nephimm you almost dared to dream you’d go up against the First Order one day. As a child your parents would occasionally tell you stories about the heroics of old, and that only spurred you on.

When you were a teenager and reached the age set by your planet’s authorities to move out of your parent’s home, they gave you a book to take with you. It was filled with stories and drawings of all those stories they’d told you. 

Space and the stars. 

Cities and the people in them.

Life and humanity.

Death and war. 

You ship jolted, and you prepared yourself to exit hyperspace. You shot a glance at Z2, looking into his camera where the Resistance was looking back. 

You might’ve been going into this mission on your own, but you weren’t alone.

__________

Never in his life was Poe as anxious as he was now.

Finn had noticed by the time they saw you’d exited hyperspace, and had tried to treasure Poe by placing a hand on his shoulder. That only worked so much. 

Through Z2, they could see both inside your ship, and the scraps of the one being built before you. The thing was huge, even if it was still unfictional, and Poe saw you shiver. 

“Since this thing is theirs, how about we do a little recon first Zee?” your voice came through clipped and fuzzy, but at least they could still hear you. The droid beeped at you, and you pushed the ship forward into the construction. 

Poe could just make out the ship’s fame though the screen, and he wouldn’t be ashamed to admit that it was a bit foreboding. Even for him. 

After a lap of the ship, you pulled into a completed hanger, landing as if you’d done it a million times before, and stepped out. Poe squirmed where he stood. It was almost eerie watching you like this. 

Not because it was through a droid’s perspective, but because of how easily you seemed to fit in as a First Order Officer. 

Watching you go from a gittery, nervous wreck to emotionless and completely straight-faced sent a shiver through half the people that were watching. It was like you just slipped from one reality to another. Poe almost wondered if he'd been wrong to trust you, to get you into the inderworkings of the Resistance, but looking up at your friend - Joon - told him half of what he needed to know.

The real you was with the Resistance. This you that was on the projection, that was you back on Nephimm. 

Each step you took, timed and precise, only made Poe remember. It made him finally piece together what you’d spoken about that night on your X-Wing’s wing - and everything after that.

Children being taught how to fly like professionals. 

Teenagers being kicked out of their homes once they’d reached ‘the age’.

Being out of bed or your dorm past ‘bedtime’ wasn’t accepted. 

You never having a nickname before you got here. 

He concluded Nephimm wasn’t a nice place, as much as you gawked about the greenery and sunsets. It was beautiful, but only if you followed the rules. 

Much like the First Order. 

__________

Saying your heart was now sunken to the pits of your stomach was a slight exaggeration. It felt more like it was down in your womb with how heavy it was. You had a phrase, a mantra, running through the back of your mind.

‘Act like you belong, they won’t think any different.’

It was a new base. It had new crew and new faces. All you needed to do was find a master board, get the plans, get out and destroy the ship. It was simple. The two Star Destroyers outside would just have to wait until later. Mainly because they were much less simple.

Turning down another corridor, you were faced with a duo of Storm Trooper. You almost froze in your stride, but brushed passed them without so much as a glace. They didn’t pull you aside for it, so you figured you did something right. 

As you passed another doorway, you realized you had no way to get in anywhere if it was locked. But then again, you could always pickpocket. You’d slipped cards in and out of Joon’s pockets since you met him, how different could that be?

Ahead two Officials turned into the hallway, flanked by two more Troopers. You have to make this quick. So you kept it casual, paying as little attention to Z2 as you could, and brushed past the left Officer just enough to stumble both you and him.

But the Officer caught you instead of the other way around. He fired questions at you, and your resolve cracked. It was slight, only the hesitation of a moment, but he saw it. And just like that it shattered completely. 

You guessed nothing was ever really that easy.

___________

The Officers pulled you between them, and the only thing stopping you from completely lashing out at them was the bonds on your wrists and the two Troopers with their blasters behind you.

At least Z2 still wasn’t detected. He’d been behaving himself, unlike you. 

Despite the Troopers behind you, it didn’t stop you from sending your worst and most venomous glares to anyone that dared look your way. It also didn’t stop you from making yourself the most inconvenient prisoner they’d ever have. 

As if you’d just go with them without a fight. 

Apparently a lowly Rebel was too unimportant to have the five-star treatment, and yet He had come all the way from one of the Destroyers to see you. 

The Mr. Evil Overlord, and Supreme Leader of the First Order himself -

“- You. Kyline Raymond.” 

“Kylo Ren.” the Officer corrected, holding onto your arm even tighter. 

“Kylie Reed?”

“Kylo. Ren.” You almost considered ceasing the sass. But you would never fail Leia like that. 

“Kyle Rey?”

“This rebel is defective. I don’t think she can hear you sir.” the Officer hissed, joliting your arm harshly in his grip. The Sith tiled his helmet down at you. Only slightly. It was as if you weren’t even worth that.

“She’s not defective,” he said, “Just like the rest of those Rebels, she just needs to be broken.” 

The Officer looked from you back to Ren.

“Well what are you standing here for?” Ren growled. “Break her.”

__________

Series Taglist: @demigod-dragonrider-schoolidol​ @writefightandflightclub​ @robindoesntloveme​ @kiaralein​ @danicalifxrnia​ @americasass-romanoff​ @morgannope​ @smolpeachees @afootnoteinyourhappiness​ @lonelydarlings​ @rae-rae-patcha​ @oakleyves @grincheveryday​ @seninjakitey​ @fanfin-glutton​ 

Poe Dameron Taglist: @p3nny4urth0ught5​ @m1rkw00dpr1ncess​

[livlepretre]

Hi I've read alot of your Klaulena fanfic and I love them. But I was wondering what your take was on the whole Elijah x Elena relationship?

Oh, I adore Elejah. I shipped that long before Klaulena struck me like a bolt of lightning! 

Originally I was really soft for this ship and I was hugely enchanted with that horrifying little hello he gives her in 2x08 which is also so frightening because of how gentle it is, like she’s a pet or an animal? and the way his opinion on her completely 180s when they negotiate in 2x11? and how shocking and threatening and G R E A T that entire sequence is in 2x11 when Jenna closes the closet door and there is Elijah and then the way he just appears when she tries to tell Jeremy and she lies to Jer and the way the whole thing is filmed with Elena in the mirror? And the reveal that she knew exactly that she was signing her own death warrant??? And he knew that she knew???? And then the way when she stabs herself at the lake house his face just crumples in horror and desperation as he begs her to let him save her, and it’s obviously not at all about wanting her to use her, it’s abut the fact that he has FEELINGS for her and he can’t bear for her to die????? and the way he is so relieved to save her that even when she daggers him he’s still so caught up in those feelings???? THE WAY HE TOUCHES HER HAIR THERE I could scream. And of course this very romantic idea they have of each other that they are both honorable people. The way they hear each other out. I was SO SOFT on this ship. 

But my thinking on it has evolved a good deal. I’ve realized that 

1) Elijah never understood Elena very well-- he understood the illusion she throws up for people-- she’s not really that honorable, she used to be, but her entire storyline is how her honor and her morality are just stripped away and all she has left is her unwavering commitment to save and protect her loved ones at any cost... this makes her cruel, this makes her cunning, this makes her often, often dishonorable, someone who will stab someone else in the back if that’s what it takes, someone who will slit her own throat to win

2) Elena never forgives Elijah for what his betrayal during the sacrifice. I had shipper goggles on when season 3 aired, and to a certain extent still had them on when season 4 aired, so I didn’t see it then... but I really think that even though Elena felt a bit bad about grouping Elijah in with the rest when she made that champagne deal with Esther, she never actually hesitated because Elijah screwed her over when he refused to kill Klaus. Yes, we understand as the audience why he did that, but from Elena’s perspective? She made a deal to die for Elijah, and in exchange, Elijah was supposed to protect her small list of loved ones from Klaus. Not only does Elijah UTTERLY fail to hold up the most important side of his bargain-- to keep Elena’s loved ones safe from Klaus (it shouldn’t have been up to Damon to save Caroline and Tyler-- that was basically something that Elijah should have had to do under the purview of his agreement with Elena; and of course, Klaus kills Jenna)-- but Elena goes through with her side of the bargain-- she goes through with the sacrifice and dies-- and even then, even after she has kept the faith, even after Jenna has been murdered, Elijah balks on the one thing that could have at least set things “right.” And of course, Klaus doubles Elena’s misery but taking Stefan with him, therefore depriving Elena of her greatest source of comfort and love during her grief. Elena never gets over the disillusionment of seeing Elijah for what he really is-- someone who says he is honorable, who does a great job of pretending to be honorable, of pretending to be a white knight, but who ultimately, inevitably, falls short. She remains attracted to him, and cares for him, but she never really forgives him. That’s why she’s so angry with him when she sees him again in season 4-- and why his letter rings so hollow to her. Elijah is like a thorn in Elena’s foot-- she can’t remove it, but all it does is bleed. 

All of this being said, I think this is a fascinating dynamic. I like Elejah even more for being messy, for having this complication and disillusionment and disappointment in each other-- they have a real history together, and their minds work similarly enough to make them very compatible... it definitely has all the makings of an epic ship! 

[alvinsoffie]

WORLD AIDS DAY 2020

December 1,

Theme: Each World AIDS Day focuses on a specific theme,  

This years theme is  “ Global Solidarity: Shared Responsibility.  ”

A look back at recent themes gives an interesting perspective:

2020    Global solidarity, shared responsibility

2019    Communities make the difference

2018    Know your status

2017    My health, my right

2016    Hands up for HIV prevention

Personal awareness and responsibilty, coupled with Community support is a reasonable paradigm for moving the HIV/AIDS agenda forward. Embracing this can go a far way to achieve the Goals for eliminating HIV

"  World AIDS Day remains as relevant today as it’s always been, reminding people and governments that HIV has not gone away. There is still a critical need for increased funding for the AIDS response, to increase awareness of the impact of HIV on people’s lives, a need to end stigma and discrimination and to improve the quality of life of people living with HIV."  

I am quoting directly from UNAIDS here.

A useful way to compare The two pandemics:  The 40 year old HIV/AIDS pandemic is the stately annual ��journey around the sun.   COVID 19  is the 28 day cycle of the moon around the earth.  It's busy and frenzied. Because it shares the same stigmas, the same governments the same communities; the same inequities: we get a quicker look at the cycle of events. Some countries are already on their third wave, their third cycle or go round of COVID 19. And lessons are being learned at this heightened pace.

This crisis, This frenzied pace has become  a wake-up call, an opportunity to do things differently—better, and together. In many respects, the defeat of AIDS as a public health threat could depend on how the world responds to COVID-19.

Inasmuch as  COVID 19  has overshadowed the AIDS pandemic. we  DO note that some important lessons are being learned and that with care we can utilize  aspects of the COVID 19 response to improve HIV response and awareness.

Since you have invited a religous, I believe that you are expecting some insight from a Christian or Biblical perspective, and if this is so, I wouldn't want to disappoint you.

I did some homework, a little research,  and came away shocked!   In a sense  upset on learning that Stigma is the main deterent and source of frustration for battling and overcoming the effects of the AIDS epidemic.

As I looked at the seven types of stigma identified across a range of psychosocial situations, I came to realize that Stigma and its associates, prejudice and discrimination, are deeply ingrained responses that are applied outside of logic and wisdom, and where it surfaces can surprise you.

For the record the seven types of Stigma are:

PUBLIC,  SELF,  PERCEIVED, LABEL AVOIDANCE,  BY ASSOCIATION,  STRUCTURAL, AND HEALTH INDUSTRY PERSONEL.

All of these manifestation  of Stigma are being  experienced in real time in this COVID 19 pandemic. Lets not forget that persons were beaten for sneezing, an involuntary act. Fear and paranoia brings out the worst in us. Where they find common ground, the excesses are very dangerous.

To return to the global AIDS response;  At a time when 'untraceable equals untransmittable is a reality already, It is strange that there is no obvious reintegration mechanism for the persons who can overcome the virus. Right HERE, such a mechanism or protocol could provide a rallying point against the stigma PLHIV face. It becomes a powerful incentive to reach for; a goal to achieve. This is one crucial difference with COVID 19, Governments want us to get back to work so there are tests and procedures for reintegration for those who have caught and overcome the virus. The reintegration is SPONSORED because it is deemed vital.

The HIV scenario still has gender bias and sexuality and dominance issues that drive the stigma and after 40 years they remain well entrenched globally.

What does scripture have to offer here. Both Old and New Testaments recognize a variety of diseases that initially demand isolation and removal  from communal life. Numbers 12 points to a situation where Miriam the sister of Moses was punished with a skin disease and was out of the camp in isolation for 10 days. Even here there was a clear return to community. She wasn't cast into outer darkness with weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth!  Israel camped and waited  for her. Just a biblical reminder that it always help to have a celebrity or power person build empathy for your cause.

The reintegration mechanism was well defined. The priests were trained and were the ones assigned the inspection of the suffering person. Once satisfied of their rehabilitation, they offered the necessary sacrifice and were fully reintegrated into family and community.

In the Gospels where Jesus was remarkably open to transformative action on peoples behalf, his advise to cured lepers, to

" show yourself to the priests ...  

and  

" Offer the sacrifices Moses commanded"

leverages this generations old schema for returning the  renewed back to community. Jesus did not subvert the process: he co-opted the process for the validation that it offered. The process is Critical! In real life more than a few persons doing well on their regime fall away and do not return for medication and help. The validation process is aborted by some triggered fear and more than a few will end up dead; losing their lives.

   A lesson here is that education doesnt always defeat prejudice. In fact it can provide seemingly plausible justification for discrimination.  This is why discrete access to health care for PLHIV is a necessity. Thank God for JASL.

   The Label Avoidance Stigma is the most insiduous of the seven. It is the one that keeps the infected person from seeking help. in your community or elsewhere. They know full well that bush have ears and if you are seen in Mocho or Portland or Mandiville at a clinic the rumour mill will grind and your issues will be publicised. They keep quiet and die quieter still. I have seen it up close and it hurts my heart every time I am faced with it.  Let me say it again;  Thank God for JASL  

Sadly, you are as likely to hear a pastor or preacher condemn the sick and declare God's judgment rather than provide access to care and counselling and in hospitals one has to deal with health professionals whose personal biases become stumbling blocks to personal healthcare services..some share unethically, the details of their patients, furthering stigma and discrimination  ...   very well documented.

If the church would follow Its Lord's instructions. If it would extend itself to speak for the voiceless

Someone came to Jesus for healing and the discussion began:  'Lord, If you choose you can make me whole'.  Jesus said,  'I DO Choose!'  If our churches would follow Jesus and choose to facilitate health and wholeness, a lot could change.

Church could stand with or stand up for  the sick especially PLHIV/AIDS.  it could do a lot to counter stigma, to counter the whispered inuendos that is Stigma by Association. Stigma by Association is the one that kills community support for the needy. It is the one that ties you to the presumed sexual preferences and activities of the persons you are inclined to help.  

Churches could build support for members and persons who are HIV positive, but who would dare share their status with the brothers or sisters in church. Very few keep secrets, fewer still, exhibit compassion. We need radical Christianity of the leave all and follow Jesus variety.

Returning to the bigger stage,  the theme Global solidarity, shared responsibility invites us to revisit our relationships and the activities they engender. Global solidarity invites us to explore the Global response and align ourselves with projects and activities that we are able to support. There are a plethora of them and myriad best practices scenarios waiting for our implementation.

One important feature of World Aids Day is the memorialization of the dead. Given the early stigma and circumstances of dying,  many persons have not been properly remembered and closure is still eluding some families who have lost loved ones to  HIV/AIDS.

The opportunity to come out and name them and remember them is hugely therapeutic. This is something that the Church does well.   Catholicism provides a liturgy on All Saints Day, November 1 for the memorialization of our dead. We do it systematically and we know the benefits of it. We light the votive candle, we pray for those we love, and we ask God in his Love and Mercy to deal kindly with them.

There is a ministry here for churches. There is a place where we can quietly exercise the gift of presence as in grief counselling and just be there for those who need us. There is a place for a prophetic voice that can stop the slander and inuendo by its forthright affirmation of the Person living with HIV as a full and complete human being, bearing the image of GOD.  

Even in death, the stigma continues and the cause of death for the death certificate can be problematic for family members.  To remove Stigma is to open up the resources freely and fully for those who need it. This day must come sooner rather than later.  these are difficult times, make no mistake. But we can make a difference if we try a little bit harder.

 Shared Responsibility brings us back to Genesis and Cain's question  ' Am I my brother'e keeper?' Yes!  Yes we are.  God requires an answer of each of us. We are social creatures We need each other for Fulness of living.  We will need to develop more programs that bring real benefits to people living witH HIV

My word of encouragement for PLHIV/AIDS is simple:  Keep the faith. HIV is no longer a death sentence. Serious progress has been made and you can access a good life right here, right now. Your Life is precious! Dont throw it away! Do NOT let pride or shame rob you of health and family, joy and accomplishments. Still dream...  Most things are still possible if you believe and persevere.

Do the right things for yourself. There is now legal recourse to some forms of discrimination. Fight your battle for your life and find support for your cause along the way.  Life is Precious.... DON'T give up! Fight Fight   Fight!

With discipline and determination, the way things are going,  you might actually outlive some of your detractors.

Here I want to quote and close with Minister of State in the Ministry of Health and Wellness, Juliet Cuthbert-Flynn,

“Whether as funding partners, technical informants for policy design and programme implementation, or as medical workers serving people living with HIV and AIDS at the community level, we need to have all hands on deck." the Observer November  20

I endorse All hands on Deck! The world can  and must do better regarding the AIDS pandemic. We must remove the strictures and structures that maintain stigma and discrimination in all its forms.

I endorse all hands on deck and hope to see church and state join together to do the right thing for signicant numbers of our citzens who need our help

I endorse All hands on deck to design and build reintegration protocols and mechanisms for those on the margins right now. they dont need to be there!

I endorse all hands on deck if these hands are tender loving hands, desiring to nurture and to care for those in need.   We have had enough of the finger pointing sleight of hand deception > I'm just saying:

I endorse all hands on deck in the response from governments, NGOs and  Communities  acting globally and locally.  It is my hope that solidarity will facilitate the crafting of an accelerated response with a view to end Living with HIV/AIDS soon.

[seangetfreaky]

The Bereft is a great conclusion to the first trilogy in the Tradepoint Saga by J.J. Blacklocke! Gredin learns the meaning of sacrifice, and fights her former mentor to keep her position as head of the Vennan survivors.

As Tradepoint’s Director, Wyve has to obey his government’s commands, even if it means pressuring his Vennan friend, Burlon te Laith, to undertake a risky journey to Sprygale. If Burlon refuses to satisfy the government’s demand for geddel crystals, the Vennans risk expulsion from their haven on Tradepoint.

Agreeing to Travel the River to Sprygale to bring back geddel crystals will put Burlon on a collision course with Gredin’s edict against any Vennan Traveler leaving Tradepoint, but what choice does he have, if he wants to keep everyone safe?

A third of the Vennan survivors are ill, struggling to retain the gyftes that keep them sane… and one of those afflicted is Gredin. She puts up a bold front, hiding her weakness from friend and foe. But if Burlon openly defies her by leaving Tradepoint, Gredin’s hold over the Vennan community might crumble.

With an old rival eager to reclaim control.

My rating: 5⭐

Page count: 375

One thing that I’ve enjoyed in all three books is the careful explanations that occur between characters. The reader is never left out of the loop. There have been full chapters (which are never short) where all that occurs is a single long conversation. Like the first two books, every conversation, thought, and movement has a purpose (for the most part). Again, each individual’s struggle is highlighted.

The pacing was really good and made for an easy read; steady, with some ‘down time’ between explosive, high-energy moments. There were plenty of times where my heart was racing and I just couldn’t read fast enough! Blacklocke has this way of writing that really drew me in. I easily became attached to the characters, but I also continued to be attached to them right to the end of the series. I rooted for them, I sympathized with them, I shared their feelings in emotional moments, and that’s a huge part of the reading experience for me personally!

Some minor plot points from the previous books – such as obtaining more food, the geddel crystal sources, and the soured relationship with the Hesch – became the focus of the book. Other minor points, including growing their population and the inner workings of Vennans’ bodies, were brought up as well. I wish the latter had been expanded on more.

I was delighted to find that Gredin and the Hesch interacted more, considering how little the Hesch appeared in the previous book. Another race was introduced in the second half, though it was a surface-level introduction. Each race is so unique, with their different cultures and traditions.

I really enjoyed Gredin as a character in this final book. She had some great character development. She was still coming to terms with her role as First Speaker and leader of the Vennan community. Her unwillingness to fight back against Tetralanna served her poorly in the last book, but she really stepped up in this one. She went from overly cautious to taking necessary – and even unnecessary – risks that paid off in the end. There was one point where I think she actually took it too far, but otherwise, it served her well.

After taking Khest as her alliance partner, she still wasn’t entirely comfortable with being intimate with someone who wasn’t her Chosen. The time that Khest spent to help her relax and get more comfortable before actually sleeping together was very sweet, and also showed how he, in turn, was dealing with having had other partners since the first time they were intimate. When Gredin addresses the Bereft and explains their shared trouble, she didn’t cower or concede in the face of Tetralanna’s scorn. It was a big moment for her, having so many people trust her words despite her revelation going against everything they’d learned over the course of their very long lives. It was a big step forward for her as a leader as well.

Gredin had to make a very hard decision regarding Nitikikani (yes, I typed that correctly on the first time without checking the book and I’m very proud of myself for having done so) in order to ease tensions between their races. Nitikikani actually had his own POV chapter, which I enjoyed. The deal Gredin and Nitikikani struck was originally an apology on Gredin’s end. It became far more profound than a simple apology when Nitikikani revealed why he was so obsessed with the flame stone pendant that Gredin wore (which she received from her chosen at their Choosing). I think their interaction helped Gredin process some of her grief. I think it also helped put her in a better mindset in concern to what was required of her as a leader.

I actually disliked Gredin at one point, for a decision she made. Though the preferred choice of these Bereft would have led to them being severely debilitated, it was still their choice to make. Many of them followed the very vocal Tetralanna, but I think if they had been given the chance to spend less time listening to her and feel the impact of their gyfts fading, they would eventually see sense. They weren’t given that time to think without Tetralanna influencing their decisions on the matter. This isn’t one of those problems that are going to be solved by forcing people into the solution.

Also, Gredin’s stones were never fully explained. Why they were doing more than just casting a pretty pattern when she was dumping them on Keegan’s bed closer to the end wasn’t explained. What were they indicating in that scene? I was dying to know more about her connection with the stones as well.

I actually disliked Burlon for a good part of this book. He and Gredin disagreed on some things, but going against her express wishes without explaining why felt like he crossed a line in the sand. Instead of addressing this issue, Gredin immediately forgave him. He’s a bit of a hypocrite in that he backs Gredin up when Tetralanna speaks against her, and speaks in her favour to her face, but goes behind her back. I’m rather disappointed that I finished this book viewing Burlon in a bit of a negative light.

Keegan’s life on Venna is brought up and I quite liked learning more about him. I found him to be an interesting character that I looked forward to seeing Gredin interact with. Seeing him struggle so hard against Tetralanna – and succeeding – spoke to his strength as a person but also spoke of his character, solidifying the impression that he had a strong will.

Tetralanna, of course, proved to be the worst type of person you could come across. I didn’t think I could hate her more until she used her gyft against Keegan, and then moreso when she shamed a Bereft for their choice when they were reunited with their Chosen. It was hard to tell what could be attributed to Tetralanna being out of Balance because she lost her chosen, what was bitterness over being overlooked by the Power in favour of Gredin, and what was a combination of the two. I imagine she would have had a lot of pent-up rage towards Gredin regardless of whether or not she’d lost her Chosen. In the end, she got what she deserved.

One major plot point in the book was left unsolved, but it didn’t take away from the book at all. In fact, if it had, it would have felt like Blacklocke was trying too hard to wrap it all up with a nice bow on top.

None of the negative things had a negative impact on my reading experience (with the exception of Burlon at the end). I could hardly put this book down, and finished it in five days! I would have finished it sooner if not for daily life getting in the way, haha. Even though I’m sad it’s over, this is a great ending to the fantastic first trilogy of the Tradepoint Saga!

You can pre-order The Bereft e-book on Amazon here for a great price! It comes out on April 13 2021!

[feistypaants-archived]

False Positive [Chapter 6]

Rating: M Words: 2467 Pairing: Kristanna Summary: When things don’t go according to plan and Anna finds herself alone and pregnant, she looks to her sister’s best friend, Kristoff, and almost makes a huge mistake.

[Chapter Index]

Where To Read: [AO3]

Notes: This chapter is definitely ... different. I think it works though lmao... thanks again to @kristanna and @frozenwritingcorner kiss kiss kiss kiss

Enjoy!

Anna felt the weight of her duffle bag digging into her shoulder as she stood on the side of the road, waiting desperately for Hans to show up. He said he’d be there as soon as possible, but it had been almost three hours and she couldn’t stop crying. A few of her neighbors had slowed down to look at her suspiciously, but none had stopped when they saw her red eyes, smeared makeup, and shaking body.

Finally, god finally, his silver BMW coupe pulled up beside the curb, and he rolled down his window to look at her. “Well, look at you, all dolled up.”

She knew he meant it as a joke, so she forced out a laugh, but it stung her to her core. “O-only for you,” she sang, her voice tight, before she threw her duffle into the popped trunk and climbed into the passenger seat. “Thank you.”

He pressed a kiss against her forehead before driving off. “Anytime.”

The rumble of the car lulled her to sleep. 

Until the squealing of tires and the sirens of an ambulance shot her awake, and she was sitting in the hospital with her sister, who was paler than normal and unmoving. Anna turned to face her, trying to figure out why they were back here. They couldn’t be back here… 

“Elsa?” She asked, her voice quiet and meek. Anna looked down at herself, in the same hoodie and jeans she was wearing that night. No, it couldn’t be. She refused to believe it. Panic started rising in her throat. It had been six years. Six. She wasn’t here. “Why are we… Where are… What’s…” None of her sentences would finish, tongue literally tangling behind her teeth. Until she managed to shout just one thing. “Elsa!”

Cold blue eyes darted to her, upset that she would make a scene. “Quiet, Anna.”

Anna felt a shiver race up her spine and pierce her heart. This was wrong, this was all wrong. Elsa would comfort her, right? Elsa wouldn’t treat her like this… Elsa… “Where are mama and papa?”

But her sister’s eyes were unblinking. “I said be quiet, Anna.”

“No!”

Elsa’s face stiffened, froze, and she turned calmly to face the front desk again. “Then leave.”

And the floor fell out from under her. She was falling, reaching up to her sister who wouldn’t even acknowledge her, crying out for someone, anyone, to catch her. To help her. To see that she was there.

Her back slammed against something hard, stars bursting behind her eyes as her head followed suit. It was a struggle to stand. She felt heavy, like something was weighing her down. It wasn’t until she touched the wooden handrail that she noticed she was back at her apartment. But she wasn’t, not quite, and her whole body shook as she looked through the window. Another her stood in the kitchen, hands clenched by her side as she fought back tears.

“I’m eighteen, Elsa. I’m not stupid.”

“You’re a child. And he’s… too old.”

Elsa’s own hands were wrapped around her upper arms as she closed herself off, obviously not open to discussion. 

Anna watched herself throw a tantrum, watched herself slam the plate down on the table as her voice rose, laced with frustration. “This isn’t fair, Elsa! You can’t decide who I date! You’re not mom!”

“If you don’t like it, you can go.”

“Go?”

“You’re eighteen,” her voice was full of venom, mocking. “Leave.”

She moved to wipe her cheeks, tears falling fat and heavy, when a new set of arms wrapped around her shoulders, warm and strong and comforting. 

“I’m here, whatever you need.” 

Anna turned in his embrace and tears of grief morphed into tears of joy, her arms wrapping around his waist as he tucked her under his chin. “You can stay as long as you need, okay? I’m here for you, Anna.”

Her name echoed in his voice and she breathed in his scent, a new sense of safety enveloping her.

Anna.

Anna…

Anna?

“Hey, Anna!”

She woke up with a start, gasping for air as she looked around for the source of the voice, not entirely sure where she was or how she got here… until she found her little snowman plush smushed against her pillows. A sigh of relief escaped her.

“Over here,” he laughed, waving at her from the screen of her computer. “You fell asleep.”

Anna shimmied back up her bed, laying back down in front of the camera. “Sorry. Growing a human is exhausting, apparently.”

Kristoff’s warm honey laugh came through the speakers, and she couldn’t stop the smile that stretched over her lips.

After she had confessed her big mistake, they had spent another few hours talking, making sure everything was out in the open and that they were at a good understanding and a place to move forward. Since then they had video chatted most nights when he got home from work and she was too tired to trek over there, and Anna couldn’t help but admit that talking to him was quickly becoming the best part of her day.

They had grown apart a tiny bit in the last year, but mostly because Hans wasn’t the most fond of Kristoff. He always assumed men just wanted to screw Anna and didn’t particularly like her spending time around other guys. But since he was out of the picture, it was pretty nice to have Kristoff back in this kind of capacity.

“Have you told Elsa yet?” He was folding clothes in front of the webcam, shoving up his too old and too loose glasses in between every shirt. 

“Oh you’ll know when I tell her. The whole city will freeze over because of her disappointed glare. You know the one.”

Kristoff laughed again, nodding.

“Think I can just tell her I’m getting fat?” Anna rubbed at her tummy, wondering how long it would take for everyone else to notice that she had a little person growing inside of her.

“Probably not.” He rubbed at his eye. “I think she’ll figure it out.”

Anna groaned before shoving her face into the pillows. “She’s gonna kill me. Do you remember when I started dating Hans?”

Kristoff looked up, straightening his spine. “... Yeah.”

“Sorry, I literally just was having this dream about it.” She rolled back over to look at him. “She kicked me out for dating Hans. God… she might literally kill me for getting pregnant.”

He stayed silent, and she nodded with pursed lips. “I thought so.”

“... If you need a place to stay, you know where I am.”

Anna frowned, closing her eyes. “I think I need someone else to be the dad.” She froze, before sitting up and leaning closer to the screen. “I’m sorry. I’m… I didn’t mean…” she sighed and dropped her face into her hands as a small smile pulled up one side of his mouth. “God, I can’t believe what an idiot I am.”

“How’s your foot taste.” He laughed to himself before realizing she hadn’t caught on to his joke. “... since it’s in your mouth so much.”

“You’re the worst. I cannot believe I ever had a crush on you.”

She heard him drop something before coughing. “You…” 

Anna couldn’t help but look up at him, her eyebrow cocked with confusion. 

“You had a crush on me?”

His cheeks were pink and Anna smiled, rolling her eyes with a chuckle. “Oh yeah, big time. It started when I was thirteen, and you were sixteen, I think?” She tried to ignore how cute he looked when he moved his glasses up on top of his head, his hair pushed back out of his face. “I was grounded because I failed a test.”

The memory came flooding back to her, vividly, like it had just happened.

“And you… snuck into the kitchen and got me my favorite chocolates - you know,” she gestured, leaning closer to the computer. “The ones my mom kept up on the top shelf of the cabinet so I couldn’t reach?” 

He nodded, and his cheeks flushed a deeper shade of red.

“Then you sat with me at the table, and helped me study math until I got it, and gave me a piece of the chocolate as a reward each time I figured something out. It was…” she bit her lip, twirling her hair between her fingers. “It was so sweet. You were just so sweet.” Then she changed her expression and stuck her tongue out, blowing a short raspberry in his direction. “And then I got an A on every other test because I was too embarrassed about you coming anywhere near me ever again.”

Kristoff looked like he had swallowed a frog, his face bright and contorted. 

“... You okay?”

He sucked in a deep breath, before blowing it out with almost incomprehensible words. “I’lldoit.”

“What?”

“The… fake the pregnancy thing?”

“... What?”

Kristoff’s whole face had paled, and he was looking anywhere but at her. “... If you want… to pretend I’m the dad…”

Her breath quickened and she grabbed the sides of the computer to pick it up so she could sit up properly. “... What?”

“Can’t you say anything else?” He choked out, rubbing his hands down his face. “Like… not forever, okay? And not like… pretend dating. That’s… not what this is…” He was clearly doing his best to ignore her dumbstruck face. “And in the end… when Elsa is fine with it… you can do like a … paternity test or something… and just act like it was a big mistake… or… something…”

“You…” Anna was completely speechless. Was he crazy? Was he kidding? Was he… “We don’t… you …. dont…” her breathing was shallow, she was so shocked that she could barely catch her breath. “... What?”

Her stomach was churning. He was saying something else, but Anna couldn’t hear him over the blood rushing in her ears. Had he just agreed to this? Was this real? Was this… no. She was still dreaming. She had to have been! There was just no way…

“So… deal?”

Anna suddenly felt bile rise in her throat and nodded as she scrambled off the bed, through the doorway as quickly as she could.

Kristoff watched her, expression shocked. But he missed the small voice come through his speakers.. “Guess the morning sickness is starting.”

And then he saw Elsa’s head peeking around the corner.

“Morning sickness?”

Ah, shit.

Kristoff slammed his computer shut as quickly as he could and stood, pacing back and forth as Sven watched him irritably from his bed. What did he just do? Did he just agree to — no, suggest that they concoct some crazy plan to appease his best friend? And then accidentally reveal the secret?! 

She could be a bit brash, but she wasn’t so unreasonable that she would abandon her pregnant sister… right? Right! 

She was a good person. Kristoff had known her for almost a decade and when she finally came out a year ago and started being her whole, true self, he noticed a difference in her. She was less angry, slower to make impulsive decisions, more caring and understanding… But god, she still scared the shit out of him. She had dropped out of law school, abandoning all her efforts so that she could focus on her art.

Which he was so, so proud of her for. He wanted her to be true to herself and do whatever made her happy.

But when it came to Hans, Elsa and Anna never, ever wound up on the same page. Which was fair, he was… the worst. But Kristoff knew he and Elsa couldn’t really have any say in what Anna chose to do with her life. And when Elsa kicked her out the first time, Anna had gone to stay with Hans for a while.

And that left Anna easily startled and even more anxious when she made mistakes than before. And Kristoff was not prepared to ever let her be in that situation again.

He swallowed his pride before opening the laptop back up and pressing the call button.

Anna picked up on the second ring, her face red and hands clasping at her stomach. 

“Hang on,” she mumbled, before returning to the screaming match with her sister.

Kristoff wondered why she even answered, but did his best not to interfere. He had seen enough of their fights to know that you just had to sit tight, stay safe, and wait for it to be over. Kind of like a blizzard.

Or a hurricane.

“Well?!” Elsa’s voice was sharp, as if all her zen, I ride magical horses into enchanted forests and paint naked fairies sitting on mushrooms hippy personality receded back into a hidden pocket. “What do you have to say for yourself?”

Anna opened her mouth to speak, freezing when Kristoff’s voice came from the computer.

“It’s mine, Elsa. I, uh, did that.”

She turned on him, then, her eyes alight with rage. “You… did that? You and Anna? When!” They both hummed noncommittally as his eyes avoided both of theirs. Elsa threw her hands up with frustration. “It doesn’t matter! What… what are you planning, here? Are you even… together?”

“No!” They both rushed to answer, their eyes meeting before darting quickly apart. Anna took in a deep breath.

“It was just a… get over Hans thing. One time.” 

“And you’re keeping it?”

“Yes.”

Anna was firm and confident, Elsa was rigid with anger, and Kristoff was just doing his best to remain relatively unnoticed.

“Okay…” she took a deep breath and stood up straight again, nodding. “I’m going back to sleep.” Her words were slow and calculated, as if she was trying to calm herself down. “We will continue this discussion,” she said, looking at Anna and then at the computer screen that held Kristoff. “In the morning.”

And then she left and Anna flopped down onto the bed, and Kristoff let out a sigh of relief. 

“Well,” Anna huffed, dropping her hands hard onto the comforter. “That went just about as well as I expected it to.”

“...Yeah…” 

Anna’s breathing slowed, and Kristoff didn’t doubt she was close to dozing off again. “Well… I guess this is happening now…”

“Yup.” Her lips ended the word with a pop.

“I’m sorry.”

Her head snapped over to look at the computer. “Why?” She turned her whole body to face the same way. “It would have gone way worse if she thought it was Hans’.”

Kristoff laughed, feeling a tiny bit of tension ease from his body. “This is a mess.”

“Yeah.”

“We’ll figure it out.”

Anna nodded, and she smiled up warmly at him. 

“Thank you.”

He almost couldn’t control the absurd laugh that tickled his throat.

“... Anytime.”

[sulietsexual]

So, I finally saw the new Little Women on the weekend, and I have to say, I was ... really underwhelmed, especially given the extreme over-hype which has surrounded this film for months. 

Little Women is my favourite novel of all time and, yes, I am an avid fan of the 1994 movie. The book always fills me with warmth and emotion and I love the March girls so much, each of them in their own way. I went into this film with muted expectations, so I wasn’t disappointed per se but it definitely left me wanting more.

Let me start with the positives; the film definitely has a certain charm to it. I appreciated that they tried to include a lot of dialogue from the novel. The cinematography was very pretty in places. And I genuinely loved the actresses who portrayed the March sisters. Saoirse Ronan’s Jo was vivacious and fun and she imbued the character with Jo’s clumsiness, lack of propriety (a little too much sometimes, which I will talk about later) and overall likability. I don’t know why everyone’s complaining about Emma Watson, as I found her Meg to be lovely. I thought she perfectly captured Meg’s softness and her gentle stoicism, although I could have done with a little more fire to her character, people tend to forget that Meg has a bit of a feisty side. Florence Pugh was great as older Amy, and bless her, she tried her hardest as young Amy, but I still maintain that Younger Amy needs to be played by a younger actress, otherwise she comes across as far too bitchy, as opposed to just bratty. Eliza Scanlan was fine as Beth, but I wish they’d given her more to do (more on this later). 

As for the rest of the casting ... I was a bit underwhelmed. I was excited for Laura Dern as Marmee, but she disappointed me, which probably has more to do with the writing of the character. She felt far too modern and very under-developed. Timothee Chalamet (sp?) as Laurie was a total miscast, he was far too melancholy and kind of creepy? Laurie is supposed to be a cheeky and vivacious character, with the occasional fits of melancholy, not the other way around. Meryl Streep was wasted as Aunt March, but I knew she would be, given what a minor character Aunt March actually is in the book. None of the other actors made much of an impression on me, tbh.

Unfortunately, for me, the negatives are greater than the positives and one of the biggest complaints I have about this film is that it really seemed to lack soul and heart. Little Women is a novel which makes me cry every time I read it and I didn’t shed a single tear during this film. Scenes which I love from the novel left me cold during the film.

I appreciated that the film tried to include events from the novel which often aren’t portrayed onscreen, such as Meg buying the expensive silk knowing she couldn’t afford it, Beth and Mr Lawrence’s friendship, Amy telling Laurie off for his indolent ways and Marmee’s speech to Jo about how she is angry every day. But a combination of rushed dialogue, the weird back-and-forth jumps between past and present and a script which didn’t slow down to appreciate the emotions of the scenes meant that many of these scenes felt empty, as if everyone was simply going through the motions. The film is accurate to the book and captures many of the events, but it misses so many emotional beats. I want any adaptation of Little Women to fill me with warmth and emotion and this film just ... didn’t. A particularly egregious example is the fact that this movie didn’t film Beth’s death scene, opting instead to have Jo wake up to an empty bed, in a scene which is obviously supposed to mirror the previous scene and drive home how Jo “couldn’t save” Beth this time around, but all it does is undermine the emotion of Beth passing and the grief her family - particularly Jo - feel over watching her pass away.

And while we’re on the subject of Beth, can we talk about what a non-character she was? I know that Beth is the least developed of the sisters in the novel, and as such, adaptations sometimes tend to overlook her, but she was barely a character in this film. Even her illness - arguably the biggest component of her characterisation and arc - was overlooked and under-played. I didn’t feel any fear or trepidation for her when she first fell ill, and her entire sickness was so rushed and downplayed. Eliza Scanlan is an incredibly talented actress (just watch Sharp Objects for proof of this) and yet they gave her so little to do.

Laurie too became almost a non-character, and I feel that this was a result of the constant time jumps. There was no room for him to develop or grow and many of his Big Moments were omitted from the film (such as him sending for Mrs March when Beth is ill, the way he swears to keep their secrets and provides the PO Box for them, going to London to make himself worthy of Amy). Also that disgusting scene from the New Year’s Eve ball when he turns up half-dressed, drunk and with two women hanging off his arms; no where in the novel would Theodore Lawrence ever behave like that, and the fact that this scene was our second introduction to the character soured his entire characterisation. Laurie was such a pale shade of what he is in the novels, and because of this, his relationships with all the sisters is severely undermined and downplayed. You certainly won’t ship Jo/Laurie from this movie, but nor will you feel much semblance of friendship between the two, despite the fact that they’re such kindred spirits in the novel. He shares more scenes with Amy, but they’re devoid of feeling or emotion (and chemistry) and so his eventual marriage to her falls flat.

I think one of the reasons for Laurie’s lack of characterisation is the weird time jumps. I know that a lot of critics are praising this technique, but I hated it. For one, it was often confusing as to whether we were in the past or the present, given how quickly the scenes jumped between the two. Secondly, this style of storytelling severely undermined characterisation and character development, and it juxtaposed scenes in a very weird fashion, negating the original point of the scenes and the lessons the girls were supposed to learn from them. For example, Meg’s misbehaviour at the Moffats being directly juxtaposed with the scene in which she confesses to John that she bought the expensive silk makes Meg look like she hasn’t grown or changed in five years. We missed the beautiful scene where she confesses her “sins” to Marmee and the growth which came from that experience, and instead jumped straight into what looked like an unhappy marriage (and why in god’s name were we introduced to Meg and John’s marriage before they had even spoken to each other in the past? Once again, the development of this relationship was undermined by the fact that we saw their courtship in reverse - we didn’t get the impact of Meg promising to love John despite his poverty only to betray him by buying the expensive silk). And this is just one of many examples of this technique robbing us of the emotion of the scenes.

The film felt so rushed at times and because of this, it has a very modern feel to it which I really didn’t like. If you want to “modernize” the story, fine, but do so by placing it in a modern setting. Having a period setting while using modern dialogue and a modern sense of propriety didn’t work. A scene of Jo hiking her skirts up to her knees with her bloomers on display while in public was awful, as was the scene where she unabashedly started to strip down while Laurie was in the room, and both scenes just undermined the period setting and were extremely jarring. Again, because the film was so rushed and the dialogue so quick and rapid-fire, we lost the emotional impact of many scenes. Period pieces need to be slow, you need time to savour the dialogue and actions, to feel the emotions and take time to appreciate the depth of the events and relationships.

And speaking of relationships, I cannot get over how much this filmed missed the mark when it came to the sisters’ relationships. Such a huge part of the appeal of Little Women is the bonds between the sisters and this film just blew right past them! I didn’t feel any deep connection between the sisters, and this was particularly noticeable with Jo and Beth, who share such a deep bond in the book. I think part of this problem stemmed from the fact that it took five scenes for the sisters to actually share a scene together; our introduction to the girls happens in four separate scenes, with each of the girls by themselves, in their own setting. Compare (because I have to) with the 1994 movie, in which the first four scenes of the film focus on the girls together, only separating once Meg and Jo attend the Gardiners Christmas party. The sisters’ relationship is such a huge component of the novel, but this film spends little time or focus building it and it is definitely a big reason as to why the film feels so empty.

There is so much more I want to say (for example, the horrendous way in which the film somehow made Jo look like she’d regretted turning down Laurie and held onto said regret for five years and how they juxtaposed her sending him the letter saying she would marry him, which WTF, never happened in the novel, with Laurie returning, having married Amy, like, way to pit the two sisters directly against one another, which even the 1994 adaptation had sense enough not to do) but this post has already turned into a freakin’ essay and most of my grievances have been aired.

To end this (very long) rant on a positive note, I want to reiterate that this film was charming in many ways, and while I do have many complaints, it was still a decent adaptation of my favourite novel, which wasn’t so far removed from the source material that I couldn’t enjoy it. It will never match the emotional depth and warmth of the 1994 movie, but I can see myself coming around to it in the future and liking it for what it is. I just wish more care and effort had been put into it and it had concentrated more on the emotion of the novel rather than the events.