#a huge amount towards the people who are the reason i cant and that *is* fair of me
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caruliaa · 2 years ago
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who else up straigh up loosing all the time !!!
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drdemonprince · 22 days ago
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doctor demon prince im in my 5th year of undergrad suffering from functional freeze and Cant Write Papers disease (subtype where i eventually write it 7 months later and its really good for how rushed it is). ive also been doing unmasking work and trying to make progress w my nervous system and my relationships, i still have a long way to go . im going to graduate eventually (who fucking knows when) but with a pretty shit gpa.
Anyway my question is why the fuck do i keep wanting to get a masters degree when i know this setting sucks real bad for me. i love 2 learn but either dont have a handle on my adhd/autistic workflow yet or simply dont have the combination of traits it takes to succeed in academia. and i have student loans. i probably wont be accepted to any masters programs anyway but i dont know what else to do !!!!!!!!!!! 🙃 seeing as this is the transgender autistic grad student website maybe u or some of ur followers have advice for me..... 🫶 ok thank u byeee
I'm sorry to have to say this, but why do you want to go to graduate school? It will drive you deeply into debt, cause you a huge amount of stress, subject you to a wildly inaccessible environment where student neurodivergences are often unfairly cast as signs of laziness and lack of academic potential, and, in a majority of fields, it doesn't lead to improved career prospects (typically, the equivalent amount of time spent working in your chosen profession will get you just as far, if not farther, than a graduate degree).
I don't recommend graduate school to almost anyone. Graduate school was a stigmatizing, exhausting, abusive, exploitative, traumatizing experience for me that left me profoundly socially isolated and physically sick, and trained me in an increasingly irrelevant and scientifically unsound field that basically does nothing but regurgitate neoliberal truisms back to the elites that already believe in them.
Some of the faults I've just listed don't apply to *every* academic field in the world -- but it does apply to most of them!
I think it's important for people to know that Master's degree programs are, by and large, created as a revenue source for universities. Undergraduate enrollment has hit a wall -- there's only so many more people who can go to college, in a world where college has become increasingly obligatory, college pays off professionally far less than it used to, and in times of low unemployment there's very little reason to go to school -- and so the possibility of growing undergraduate enrollment has become more and more thin. This means universities have been unable to turn growing profits for years. And that's what matters to them -- profits.
Left without the revenue source of more college students' tuitions, universities have turned toward courting repeat customers -- duping college graduates who are unhappy with their post-graduate career prospects by investing in even more school. In most Master's degree programs, there are very high fees, very limited financial aid, and very very limited mentorship (compared to, say PhD programs, where shepherding you through the program is at least an advisor's duty).
I've worked in higher ed administration for years now and I've seen how disposable Master's degree students are taken to be -- they're paying for a pricey credential and they get very little out of it, in the end -- in most programs, and most contexts. When we need to fill a budget gap, we create a new Master's program -- without regard for whether it is necessary, and without ever being able to prove it will aid our graduates in getting jobs, or even that the degree will fill a necessary niche.
You can feel free to write back to me if yours is a field where a master's degree is necessary or yields positive career outcomes for a great many people (social work and athletic training come to mind). But even still, I don't think you should subject yourself to a completely inaccessible environment that you are already struggling in and taking on more debt to do so. You deserve better than that. And 99% of graduate programs will not do right by you.
If you'd like to read more about just how exploitative graduate programs generally are, and why, I recommend Karen Kelsky's book The Professor is In, or her blog of the same name:
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moonshynecybin · 11 months ago
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As heartbreaking and gut-wrenching the fact is that the pyramid of Marc's needs has a huge flow. Winning motor racing comes before old man dick for him. Thats why we have the divorce...
the thing about their beautiful toxic love is that them being so obsessed with motorcycle racing is part of why theyre soulmates AND why they got horrendously divorced on a scale rarely seen in sports media history. like okay this is gonna sound weird but im gonna talk about kayaking again here for a minute sorry. um so i think the thing about young hot people that are all OBSESSED with the same thing congregating in a specific area, for an extended period of time, to do said thing--is that they WILL fuck. and then get married. often. now bc of reasons we usually see this in womens and co-ed sports but like. my parents basically spent all of the nineties bouncing around every whitewater river in the world with the same 100 kayakers and literally all of those kayakers married each other. and then got divorced. and then married different people in those 100. it was greys anatomy general hospital level soap opera playing out in the campsites of rural chile.
ANYWAYS same basic principle for rosquez. like i dont think they would respect anyone in a romantic sense who wasnt ALSO the best at what they do. and also they find it stupid hot lol like we've seen the slutty podiums they are so into it lol. but that same thread that ties them together and gives them so much in common (endless shit to talk about bc they can always talk racing ! until they cant) is the same thing that makes them occasionally REALLY abrasive towards each other and generates a lot of the conflict between them. like they ARE at the top of their sport. which requires them to be in DIRECT competition with each other for yearssssssss, and bc they are so good at it they have insane amounts of ego which means that the clash at sepang was kind of inevitable in a fucked up way. all this to say: YES it is tragic that marc's base need in his personal hierarchy of needs triangle is motorcycle racing and not old man dick, but that is also what is sexy about rosquez. strangling each other with that red string of fate <3
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wolfepirat3 · 10 months ago
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Magnificent Seven 1998
This, is not going to be a structured post by any means.
I am about to spew so much shit out your mind will be left reeling because you have no fucking clue about what im trying to say
But, im about to talk about my intense love for this show.
Its going to entail a lot of jumping around between thoughts and ideas because i dont know where to begin when it comes to me talking about this show and how much i care about it.
If we are going to start somewhere, it has to be the friendships
I love how almost all of the seven have a closer friendship to one out of all the rest of them. Examples being vin and chris, buck and jd, and josiah and nathan.
Unfortunately ezra doesnt have that, but i do love when the fandom makes him have good friendships with the rest in their own ways (i have a huge bias towards ezra & vin, ezra & jd, and ezra & buck friendship fr)
Vin and chris were literally destined to be bffs, i think it comes with being named Chris and vin because this is one of the few things actually retained from the 1960 version of mag 7 and i really do love the connection the characters have. Especially with how they basically communicate with little looks and gestures and dont even really need a full out conversation to be close with one another.
Buck and jd actually make me go crazy and i want to cry everytime i think about them because the friendship chemistry they have is insane. Their banter and how theres literally at least one scene of them hanging out together in ever episode makes me so happy. Literally found family brothers of im being honest.
I dont have as much to say about josiah and nathan (though i do love them very much), but i like how their friendship is established as already existing during the pilot because it adds a nice difference to the fast forming friendships of the other two pairs. I also like how im season twos premiere that when the seven split up, they still went together to the seminole camp to continue their lives. Its just really nice to have a strong, established friendship that holds up through the series.
Okay so now i want to talk ezra (hes literally my favorite and hes also literally me idc)
Ezra is such an interesting character because he doesnt have that bond between him and another one of the seven like the others do. Yeah he hangs out with all of them but you cant really point to one specific character and say 'yeah, thats his bff'
Out of the seven hes the one who has the least amount of reason to remain in the town (also for my sake im just going to call it by the fandom name through here on out- four corners- because its a fitting name and the town doesnt cut it for me) unlike the rest. Everyone all wants to protect four corners, but getting into specifics:
Chris has mary and billy he wants to look after
Vin has a place to call home that he doesnt have to run from due to being wanted (even though that gets resolved in sins of the past)
Nathan has people he can take care of and heal
Josiah can repent and do something good
JD can make a life for himself in the west and prove himself
And Buck can try (and fail) to get ladies (and of course look after JD)
But ezra? The most he had was wanting to buy his saloon, but thats ruined by maude (and i have so much to say about ezra and hers relationship)
Well i guess the most prominent reason he had to stay was when judge travis made him stay for 30 days so he could get out of being arrested. But then by the time the days were over he decided to stay (which shocked everyone including himself)
I believe that subconsciously, he realizes that four corners and being with the seven is where he belongs and that this is the right path in life for him.
I also like how his relationship with other characters grow throughout the show and how he (slightly) improves as a person. Also also how you can see that he isnt completely self absorbed from the get go
examples:
Literally the pilot episode where, admittedly, he does try to run. BUT he ends up coming back in the end to help everyone out because he knows its the right thing to do
In serpents when yes, hes trying to steal all the money. BUT he realizes that someones trying to kill mary and literally puts his life on the line to save her?? Like yeah hes selfish and hedonistic, but he does do the right thing eventually
Like in working girls when he was giving the ladies lessons. He did do it for money reasons, but he was also trying to make sure that theyd be able to get onto their feet and have good lives. He also didnt have to do drag to distract the people at wickestown, but he does because he knows that itd most likely succeed in the end.
And now, onto his mother.
If theres one thing i want to get straight, its the fact that i HATE when people demonize maude and try to make her out to be a horrifically malicious woman that hates ezra and only manipulates him for selfish reasons.
Yes, she sucks a good deal of the time and does actively make life hell when shes running a con, but shes also doing what she knows will keep her afloat in life.
She did drop ezra off at familys places when she went off to do cons ezra couldn't, which did contribute to her bad parenting because it really isnt fair to do that to anyone. But i think some people need to realize that she was a single mother that had to provide for a child and was just trying to do it in a way that she knew best.
Her tactics are manipulative at times and she has done things during the course of the show that shit on everything ezra was working for (namely: ruining his one dream of owning a saloon by almost immediately buying it out after he spent so long saving up money) and most of time its because she wants to 'teach him a lesson' but we cant hate on her for being a shittier person than she actually is.
Its extremely clear that she cares for ezra and loves him and its also very clear that ezra loves her back because he still puts up with her everytime she comes through four corners.
Okay ezra rant over i think
Now i kind of just want to talk about fandom and headcanons and those kinds of things
Now im not an active participant in the fandom (mostly because its very small and very dead and idk where to find other fans), but i do read a lot of fics from 20 years ago and ive picked up on a lot of things that they did back then that ive come to love very much.
If theres one thing i love it's ezra centric fics, especially ones that include the seven comingore to understand his philosophy about things and realizing that what he does is how he shows he cares, something bad happening that involves a misunderstanding of some sort that leads to an arduous process of realization and forgiveness, and also i do love just good friendship and teamwork
I also like all the AUs that people have come up with (such as the ATF one, i was wary of it at first but i think its so cool how well thought out everything is). Also how they share ideas and ocs and theres always a thanks and acknowledgment towards the people who created the ideas. (Like when i first started getting into the fics i thought Chaucer and Four Corners were canon names, but i was so shocked when i found out that someone came up with it and everyone agreed that theyre really good names and went with them)
Finally, for now, i want to cover some of my headcanons for the guys cuz im a little silly like that and i have way too many thoughts bouncing around in my cranium
Buck with heterochromia
I thought of this one when i was trying to do a drawing of the seven and i found out his eyes were blue and not brown like i thought. Instead of conforming because im too cool for that, i decided to just go with blue and brown
Ezra probably knows most of the main romance languages (specifically french, spanish, and italian)
It just feels like something he wouldve learned either by maude making him or something hed do on his own for con reasons
Vin is more blond than he is in canon
If im being completely honest and genuine, for the first probably six months after getting onto the show i couldve and wouldve sworn that vin was blond. Then i was getting pictures of the characters when o realized that hes actually a brunette??? So anyways my thought process for the blond thing is that its kind of bleached by the sun considering he spends a lot of time outside and especially due to his upbringing
JD has a little scar through his eyebrow because he was fooling around and got cut there
Another thing that came up when i was drawing a few years back. I just thought it looked cool but its something that happened as a complete accident that jd thinks looks cool, but when someone asks how it happened he gets really embarrassed because he was doing something stupid
Post series, Nathan and Ezra actually talk shit out and find common ground so they arent so pissy with each other
I just want them to be friends tbh, like genuinely theyd be the kind of friends that hate each others guts but would do absolutely anything to anyone if something bad happened to the other one
Character ages are another headcanon i have. Last year i wanted to see how old the actors were during the filming of the show compared to how old i thought the characters were and i was a little surprised at some if im being honest. Anyways heres my headcanon ages
Chris - 37
Buck - 39
Vin - 31 (which actually coincides with how old eric close was so i did pretty good in this matter)
Ezra - 29
Nathan - 30
Josiah - 49
JD - 21 (though i have seen some people say hes meant to be 18/19? Idk I just know hes meant to be young)
Okay i think thats completely it for now. I said so much but i dont actually know how much makes sense
Thanks anyways! Plz watch the show if you havent i promise is so worth it!!!!
Have a good day, until next time
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xxthedragonrebornxx · 1 year ago
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FUCK YOU I AM TALKING ABOUT THE CRIMINALLY UNDERRATED UNOFFICIAL MINECRAFT NOVEL SERIES!!!!!!
diary of an 8-bit warrior started out as your typical, shit-off-the-factory-line "diary of a _____" book that abuses the fact that minecraft doesn't have enough fucks to give to police people making unofficial books.
but it got better. for some fucking reason, the author decided to keep it going. i am the only person in the fuckign world who cares about this book series and i am going to change that.
book 1: diary of an 8-bit ()villager() warrior
this is the first book in the series and the second-to-last when ranked in terms of quality. it follows Runt Ironfurnace, a villager living in a large, walled-off village. his greatest dream (as you may have guessed) is to be a warrior, and his village school has just introduced a course on just that. its one of the slowest books, introduces the main characters of runt, his best bud Stump, his rival max, steve the player, and mike the... other player. not a lot happens in this book, its mostly just runt, steve, and mike convincing the mayor to let them teach actual combat lessons instead of the unless bumbling the current teacher is doing. the book ends with an ominous forest that mysteriously expands toward the village.
book 2: diary of an 8-bit warrior: from seeds to swords
this one is the worst, purely because it establishes the concept of a "poop creeper" (which thankfully turns out to be a fake rumor.) max and runt go from rivals to friends, and more vital characters are introduced. mainly, pebble the bully, emerald the mean girl, and most importantly breeze, the mysterious new girl who wont stop following runt. more shenanigans happen, and eventually everyone but pebble becomes friends. there's a potion brewing competition, the forest does more stuff, and it begins to pick up traction. mobs actually start to attack the village directly, and there's some real diamond-in-the-rough writing about how no amount of training can prepare you for the fear of losing your life. herobine is namedroped for the first time (because of course) and we end the book with the steaks ramping up.
book 3: crafting alliances (im not doing the full title each time)
really where the series hits stride, in my opinion. a steady mystery plot is built up around the origins of breeze, and there's a pretty decent main plot about a huge group of players overtaking the city, who consider the villagers less than human because everything is "just a game" and herobrine is established as an actually scary villain. (i know, impossible) with steady tension building from the escalating threat of ever-stronger mobs constantly assailing the city. the forest is revealed as a base of operations for the mobs, and all efforts turn to destroying it before the walls fall. pebble becomes ever more insidious, going from bully to active threat.
also, there are a lot of plot holes from this point on, due to the author retconing the stupid shit from the pervious books.
book 4: path of the diamond
begins with a truly chilling battle between pebble and runt, where pebble attempts to ACTUALLY MURDER HIM WHAT THE FUCK in the process opening a huge part of the wall. his reasoning?
"you're a threat to the village, runt. i cant afford to let you take that commander position from me. if you get into power, you'll kill us all."
and its like JESUS (nonexistant) when did we transition from poop creepers?! (also there's a whole thing where villager jobs are called "paths" and the path of the warrior was only available to the top five. in this book, the path of the diamond is a commander position for the top five, and the conflict hinges on runt or breeze trying to get it before the others.) we also meet lola, the air-headed redstoner who rounds out the final member of runt's team. there's also something to be said for some neurodivergent rep here, as multiple times, its explicitly stated that lola has a hard time doing things the "normal" way and usually does it her own way. i wont spoil it in case you want to read the 6-book series yourself, but this is really brilliantly done in the ending.
i wont describe books 5 and 6, but rest assured they continue to get better, with it almost seeming like the author takes off their training wheels to write some real good high-fantasy while still staying true to the "minecrafy" origins.
NOW GO READ IT YA HOOLIGANS!!!
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mutuals do this
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lillys-shadow · 7 months ago
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Also
Ive been feeling pretty down lately.
I wrote an essay detailing a bunch of problems I've been having and how they've been fucking over my life for like the past three years. And I used DDLC to contextualize some of it, mainly because it was hugely influential in my ability to like think. emotionally. So when I send it to mother and her response is along the lines of "So... a game made you trans. Are you sure this isnt just an ADHD thing?" (which A. I have not been diagnosed for ADHD, she just has a hunch that I have it because my brother and father have it, and i have some of the characteristics commonly associated, and B. what the fuck, I just spilled the shit thats been affecting my mental health the worst and your response is "are you sure you didn't just make it up" what the actual fuck) not to mention I told her that I am trans (properly this time, instead of just going "oh hahah i have gender dysphoria thats why i wrote this entire vent piece E.P about how your attitude towards gender has fucked over my self worth" like that wasnt enough. Theres literally a song called "fault" literally saying its her fault I dont want to talk to her about things. And then "waltz of the night" which says things like "summer, what if you could die. summer, wouldnt be nice" played BACK TO BACK. And the first song being about how "summer" is just a placeholder for *me* but the gender fuckery has taken hold) and I told her I go by Lilly (she/her) I EVEN SAID THAT I WOULDN'T BE MAD IF SHE DIDN'T USE MY PROPER LABELS (mainly to soften the impact but whatever) AND SHE STILL RANTED ABOUT HOW ITS UnFaIr ThAt I bE sOmEoNe ShE dOeSnT kNoW mE aS.
And its just like, what do I even do here. So I tried to clarify the problems and she responds with "you had a bunch of contradictions, btw no amount of money could make you look like a woman" without telling me any of the supposed contradictions IF YOU HAD OF JUST TOLD ME THEM I WOULDVE CLARIFIED WHAT I MEANT OMG and acting as if passing trans women dont exist (I know passing shouldnt be the goal and its completely valid to not pass, I just want to for dysphoria reasons i guess, and I mentioned that we probably dont have the money to start HRT or a psychiatrist or to get any sort of surgery (which the latter I probably couldnt get anyway). And THEN she has the FUCKING AUDACITY to set the email to spam so I cant respond. And says "You will keep believing what you want to believe despite the evidence" (without citing a single FUCKING source of evidence, at least I quoted Judith Butler and Philosophy tube in my ramblings (I wasnt even trying to prove anything either, just that I shouldnt have to fight ma on how other people who are not her should refer to me if they tell me i need her approval)) and its like what do i even do at this point. So I shut up and just try to ignore her presence (which is really bloody hard because she and I were regularly really close). And she still hasnt brought it up, its been a goddamned week and Ive been home alone with her for three days in a row now. not a single word. I cant bring it up cause Im scared shell get mad or Ill say something incorrectly and shell use it as ammo to further fuck over my dysphoria. And Im not sure but Im like 60% sure she said something like "and then i realised, hes probably just faking it" which I shouldnt be mad about because A. im not even sure it was said B. I dont have any context C. it was said over the phone at 2am. But it was the day after I had sent it, I was absolutely fucked mentally. Like I know its not fair for me to be mad at her for, but nonetheless it still fucking hurts.
I mean not too long before (maybe a month or so) I literally thought "what if mum still thinks of me as a boy" and 3 hours later I have the worst cuts I had given myself. And now I know how it is, I know she does, and theres obviously nothing I can do. And certainly nothing I should do. And the only real emotional pillar I have had lately is my gf and I dont wanna vent too hard on her, I obviously want her to be happy (if youre reading this i love you <3), so ive felt kinda trapped idk. I swear to god the moment I turn 17 im buying a van and leaving, idrc about the specifics, just not here. (ill prolly back out of that before I turn 17 but i dont really give a fuck a girl can dream).
I gave her a quote of something she said, that was innocuous but had caused me a great deal of pain (she had told her friend that I wanted to go for "book week" as catnus everdeen because "I like attention" which was false, but also from her perspective she was talking about my goddamned whining persistance. But I took it as a judgement on the crossdressing I was dabbling in at the time (which catnus everdeen really wasnt lol but hey younger me was younger)) and her responce was "You took that out of context and youve written how it effected you in a cruel manor." and its like. THAT. WAS. THE. FUCKING. POINT. I kkknowww it was out of context, but it still fucking hurt, I only talked about it because it legitimately hurt me regardless of the actual context, and so that she doesnt do the same thing this time. AND SHE IMMEDIATELY THROWS AWAY THAT LINE OF THINKING FOR but thats not faiiir its not myy fault you misintirrpret things and its like, no its not but could you still be mindful that your words can AND WILL fuck me over if theyre not handled correctly.
I just- eugh. It would have been fine if she had of just had a conversation yknow. Like if we had've talked it out and got to some sort of conclusion. Instead of you will never think *spam*. Like I get to sit here instead with an unhealthy caffeine problem, horrible gender dysphoria, a cutting problem (both sexual and not so), and the fact that the person I looked up to most doesn't want to talk to me about the thing that has pretty much ruined my life and the steps that need to be taken to rectify those things.
Also the crippling insomnia its 3:20 now for gods sake.
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aussie-tea · 3 years ago
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how is s*ylvie not a mary sue?
I have been waiting YEARS for this question. (Well not years because Loki only came out (😉) like mere months ago, but you know what I mean).
To start off here's a definition of a "Mary Sue" so we are all on the same page.
Mary Sue: A Mary Sue is a type of fictional character, usually a young woman, who is portrayed as unrealistically free of weaknesses.
Now, the reason I was so excited to finally get a chance to answer this is because when there's a character I really love, the only thing I love to talk about more than their strengths is their flaws and weaknesses.
Because ALL good characters have them, and, to me, they just add to the loveability of the character. And Sylvie, despite what many people are saying, is certainly not an exception.
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One of the first flaws we notice about Sylvie is actually shown before we fully meet her. She is shown about twice in her first three main scenes that she is not the best strategist.
Although Sylvie is well versed in quick decision-making from her life on the run, she is still quite prone to errors in judgment. She gave the little French child a piece of candy which was a HUGE clue to her hideout which, ultimately, lead Loki and TVA to Roxxcart.
Sylvie would have known that the TVA would have searched the cathedral after she attacked that group of minutemen, and thus, would have easily found the child and the obviously period-inaccurate sweets.
The only thing I can think of to explain her actions was that the child caught her in the act, she worried they would spill the beans, gave the child candy to shut it up. A quick decision that didn't end up working in her favour.
Sylvie's poor strategies and planning are also shown WHEN SHE CLEARLY DIDN'T CHARGE HER TEMPAD FOR HER YEARS-IN-THE-MAKING-PLAN.
It's possible that the TemPad was only charged for the amount of trips Sylvie thought she would need. Hence, only one more trip out of the TVA after killing the Time Keepers. But even if this was the case, it shows an incredible lack of preparation on her part if things did go awry.
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This is one of the most interesting things about Sylvie that I really love; she seems to genuinely lack good strategist and sly behaviour. This hugely sets Sylvie apart from the most recognizable trait of our original Loki.
Apart from the finale, she is rarely deceptive when trying to achieve her goals. She doesn't ever try to pretend to be on the TVA's side, or charm her way in, or disguise herself as a minuteman.
No. Instead, she goes for the classic warrior approach; distract the enemy, and then use brute force to get to the Time Keeper's chamber and kill them.
TALK about under-prepared; homegirl legit at the time of her attack didn't even know that her powers were useless inside the TVA.
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I think Loki puts it perfectly:
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Sylvie isn't a good strategist. At least, not to the same extent Loki is. She's a fighter and often relies solely on physical skills to achieve her goals, often to her failure.
From this, we can deduct that Sylvie is impatient, reckless to a fault, and, often, idealistic about how her plans should work out. despite obviously not putting too much thought into them im sorry sylvie i love you but not knowing your magic wouldn't work in the tva is something i cant forgive.
These qualities (impatient, reckless, and idealistic) also weave themselves into her fighting style. I firstly want to be clear that I LOVE SYLVIE'S FIGHTING STYLE. Seriously, it's one of my favourite things about her.
Sylvie's a brawler, which is a product of obviously never being professionally trained like almost all our other MCU characters. What she knows, she's learnt on the street, her own personal battlefield.
However, a flaw of this is that she's is not as swift and quick on her feet as other character's like Loki.
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[Two gifs are pictured above.]
[First gif: Sylvie takes a swing at Loki with her sword. He dodges her attempt and locks her arms behind her back. Second gif: Sylvie lifts her foot to kick Ravonna, who grabs her leg and throws her to the ground.]
Both gifs above picture moments in this six-episode show where Sylvie uses her full body towards this one move. These moves leave her horrendously open to her opponents' advances, which ultimately leads to her being briefly overpowered in each fight.
The last point I'll make is, admittedly, a little bit of a sneaky cheat as I mention one of Sylvie's strengths, her perceptiveness, but I love this parallel so much I couldn't not include it.
So we all remember the kiss scene. Sylvie used Loki's emotions as a distraction so that she can get the upper hand in the fight. (Clarification: I do not believe the kiss was meaningless to Sylvie but I do also believe that one of the intentions with the kiss was for it to be used as a distraction.)
The thing is, how did Sylvie know that this would work on Loki? She's already known him to be incredibly aware of his surroundings and virtually impossible to trick.
The answer: she knows he's a Loki. And she knows she's a Loki. She knows that Lokis have a tendency to get easily distracted by their emotions which can cause them to lose focus of their surrounding.
How does she know that? Because it's happened to her before.
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It's canon, Sylvie knew the kiss would distract Loki because she knew he would feel the same way she felt when he comforted her in the Time-Keepers' chamber which thus made her blissfully unaware of Ravonna approaching.
All in all, Sylvie does have beautiful flaws and we love her for it, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
Now, someone play John Legend's 'All of Me';
'Cause all of me Loves all of you Love your curves and all your edges All your perfect imperfections
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angelicmichael · 4 years ago
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Imminient Annihilation sounds so dope - Chapter Ten
Michael Langdon X Reader
Summary: Reader and Michael continue to work through their issues and finally start to warm up to each other even further. 
Words: 5.9k+ …oops
Warnings: just normal IA warnings (swear words, manipulation, unhealthy relationships, enemies to lovers, slowburn, etc) anddd maybeee a bit of fluff 👁
A/N: hey guys! Sorry I haven’t updated this in a few months but hopefully this is satisfactory hehe. This chapter is kinda a turning point in the fic so I hope u guys like it!! Also I watched Jennifer’s Body as I finished this so.. do what u must w that information 😌 djdjd
Previous Chapter
Rain was never something you were accustomed too. Spending so much time in Los Angeles had made you partially spoiled when it came to the weather - which is why you knew immediately your day was going to be shit when you woke up to rain.
You tried to convince yourself that the emotions you were feeling weren’t complete disdain but rather just a pessimistic version of indifference.. or that’s what you hoped anyway.
You knew realistically that your day wasn’t already doomed before it even started; and that the rain was nothing more than a mere inconvenience.. However; you still felt justified in complaining, considering today was the day you were ripping the band-aide off and moving in to the apartment Michael had oh so graciously chosen to give you.
Your pessimistic mood surrounding the entire situation was inevitable, and that was something you didn’t even bother to resist or fight. It didn’t take long for your thoughts to quickly go south as you quickly packed. Hatred that seemingly came out of nowhere (but that you realistically knew was only temporarily dormant) wasted no time in blinding your judgement - making you feel a nearly nauseating amount of jealousy and anger for people who actually seemed to be fucking happy in their relationships and werent forced into.. whatever shitty living situation you knew you were bound to find yourself in.
An apartment with no strings attached was way too fucking simple, and you knew it was too good to be true. You knew you were basically walking into a trap, and for what reason were you doing that so willingly? Just so that maybe Michael could start to tolerate you? You resented yourself for even agreeing to this but you also understood you really had no other option.
However; personal feelings aside.. you still had a mission to accomplish. You still had to attempt to seduce Michael, and even though you were doing a shit job at that so far - you still had to try. You knew realistically it was only a matter of time before Cordelia would ask about the progress you've made, and you would have to tell her something.
You had to do this.
That's why you were (semi) blindly choosing to move in to a building you knew you absoluetly couldnt afford; and why you were sucking up your pride and choosing to become semi reliant on Michael.
No one from the coven knew, and for the time being you intended to keep it that way. After all, even though Mallory didnt exactly know that Michael gave you a whole ass fucking apartment - your sure she probably suspected that something important happened between you and Michael just from the short conversation you three harbored together. But for the time being, you didnt have to worry about that. You had bigger things that were on your mind.. like the actual apartment door itself that you currently stood in front of.
You held the keys limply in your hand, your bag slumped next to you as you procrastinated something as fucking simple as opening a door. How pathetic.
You continued to stall in the hallway regardless - thankful there was no one passing through to witness how ridiculous you looked. Your gaze fell south down to your keys which were cold in your hand. Dripping slowly with the subtle rainwater that managed to linger on them, along with the rest of your clothes.
Your skin stung from the cold that seemed stubborn to leave, and a nice change of clothes and a hot shower wouldnt be the absolute worst thing in the world..
Fuck.
You bit your lip in order to prevent letting the profanity from rolling off your tongue. Quickly getting a better grip on the keys (which only made you somehow colder) and numbly, hastily unlocking the door.
You pushed it open, letting the door hit the wall and taking a few steps inside before dropping your bag to the floor.. as well as your jaw.
No words could possibly convey how you felt as you noticed how the room was already illuminated with not only natural light from the already huge windows you could see.. but also with a warm, yellow artificial glow.
Was someone already here?
What the fuck?
The hatred and resentment you previously felt toward others earlier rapidly started to return - except this time it was targeted at one very specific person.
It didnt even register in your mind that the light could've been left on by accident or that people besides Michael actually existed that could be present in the room but.. you didnt care. Anger was the only emotion that was solely present in your body as you fully abandoned your bag by the door. Advancing forward; and only feeling more shock and disbelief with every step you took at the thought that he could very possibly be in (what was supposed to be) your space.
"Michael, I swear to God-"
"Y/n?” said a soft, feminine voice.
It was practically automatic how you froze. Just getting close enough to notice that it wasn’t Michael after all that was on your bed in your new studio apartment, but a woman sat on your bed instead.
For about two seconds, you were scared it was Madison but.. that was a stupid assumption within itself. The company you were with was from a far different nature than of which Madison was, even though at first glance the two woman might look or sound similar. There were so many qualities that distinguished Mallory from Madison. Brown, auburn hair.. dark eyeshadow.. and her classic black boots. It didn’t take long for your anger to fade away as you tried to not think about how logically this still didn’t make sense - walking closer to your bed anyway.
"How did you get in here? And since when did you ever break into peoples rooms?" You asked with a laugh.
Mallory echoed your laugh back, seemingly watching you and your behavior. As if she was expecting you to do something or to act a certain way.. like perhaps leave.
"I didnt break into your apartment but.. you should probably sit down." She spoke, before nodding off to her side. Nonverbally suggesting you to sit next to her.
You did as you were told. Noticing briefly before you sat down how nice the apartment actually was.. including the bed.
The walls, and most of everything in the apartment was a solid black. It looked sleek, and even though black paint made most rooms look small - the natural light helped keep things looking open which you appreciated. It was no surprise that the bed matched the dark theme too. The sheets were silky, black satin. You almost laughed at how comfortable the bed was once you sat next to Mallory, the entire situation was so ridiculous it nearly hurt for you to not laugh out loud. The two of you sat in the silence for a moment.. you were each incredibly anxious, that was more than apparent.
You looked up at Mallory, expecting her to speak first and explain herself since after all.. shes the one who broke into your apartment but she still remained quiet.. Stalling, you could only guess.
"So, why are you here? How did you even get in here? Is everything okay?" You asked, your words speedy and rushed.
Panic started to temporarily set in when you realized that something could be serisouly wrong with the coven, even though you knew how completly irrational it was to think that way with no evidence. What if witch hunters found them? What if someone preformed the seven wonders and it went wrong? What if the plan had suddenly changed with Michael?
Mallory seemed to pick on how anxious you suddenly were, putting a hand on your upper arm before making you meet her gaze. Her soft, hazel brown eyes immeadietly making your breathe slow. That was another reason you were so thankful for Mallory - the soothing, calming effect she seemed to have on everyone she met was something you never took for granted.. Espically now.
"Hey, nothing's wrong and nothing happened. I promise. I just wanted to see you and talk to you, and I figured we should catch up after Michael basically made me leave," Mallory explained.
You quickly nodded. Feeling guilt start to creep into your system once you remembered how Michael previously treated her.
"Yeah, youre right. I've been wanting to see you anyway and I'm sorry I didnt just call you last night or something.. and I know I cant control him but I'm still sorry for how Michael treated you. I shouldn't have brought you into that-"
"(Y/n), stop," Mallory said urgently. Shaking her head slightly in disagreement with your words. "Sure, Michael was acting like a dick but.. it's nothing I'm not exactly accustomed too. It was harmless," she ended her words with a smile. One that was meant to comfort you both at the epiphany her words brought.
You sat with her words for a moment. The realization suddenly hitting you like a truck-
"Wait.. what? Do you know Michael?"
Mallory fell completely silent. Looking at you almost in a.. guilty manner. Her gaze fell downwards before she looked up to meet yours once more, licking her lips anxiously before she uttered out a quiet reply.
"I wasnt going to tell you because I knew it would make you upset but.. Michael called me last night-"
"And you answered?" Your voice raised up a few octaves unwillingly. Threatening to break as you tried to process what you were hearing.
As much as you wanted to immeadietly jump to conclusions, you had to remind yourself that this was Mallory you were talking too. Your best friend, Mallory. You knew she would never do anything to intentionally hurt you.
You noticed Mallory was also starting to get tense. Her spine suddenly a bit too straight and her shoulders were rigid. It was nice to know you werent the only person in this situation who was feeling this way, although you would be lying if you were to say that you werent curious for why Mallory felt tense.
"At first, no but he kept calling so I figured it would cause no harm to see what he wanted so, I answered," Mallory said cautiously.
It was obvious she had more to say and as much as you wanted her to keep talking and fully explain herself - you were more than happy that you didnt have to cut her off again. It was too much. This was too much.
You pinched the bridge of your nose before loudly exhaling with a shallow growl. Not really caring that it probably was coming off like you were mad at Mallory when in reality, that wasn’t the case. Mallory wasn’t the problem; you were really just beyond fucking pissed at Michael.
But at this point.. that wasnt new news.
"I told him that we shouldnt be talking, but he insisted," Mallory continued with a shrug.
You tried to sit up straight again; trying to exhale some of the pure fucking anger that was currently coursing through your system. Your vision was spotted black when you opened your eyes - your gaze pointed upwards at the smooth, blank ceiling. Quickly wishing that you were anywhere else, or really anyone else at the moment.
What you wouldnt kill to swap bodies again.. but then again, who knows what the hell Michael was currently doing at the moment.. He couldnt be trusted.
That was more than obvious now.
You should've known that he would contact Mallory, but how he even got her number was beyond you.. Unless-
"How did he even get your number?" You asked. Your tone strikingly calm.
Mallory looked incredibly spooked when your head suddenly snapped over to look at her. As if she was worried you were angry at her still, and as much as you wanted to reassure her otherwise, you really didnt have the energy to do so anymore. Not at the moment anyway.
"You can't be mad when I tell you the answer, okay?" She said softly.
Your features immeadietly softened at her words. The rest of your body relaxed as well; your shoulders dropping and your jaw unclenching.
"Mallory, I could never be mad at you. You could never piss me off, i'm just.. frustrated at Michael. It's not at you, I swear," you said. Trying your best to make your words sound reassuring and genuine.
Mallorys reaction wasnt one that was verbal but immeadite nonetheless. Her arms suddenly shot out and wrapped themselves around you. Her body temporarily pressing into yours as your hands went to her back, before she quickly broke the hug.
"Promise?" Mallory prompted. Brown eyes looking diligently into yours.
"Yeah.. I promise. Just tell me what that idiot did,” you said halfheartedly.
"So.. I've had his number for a while. Not for too long but just since you two switched. But, we never really talked," Her voice stalled as she watched your reaction. Your mouth grew dry as you really tried to let it sink in that they've known eachother since- well for atleast a week. "But I knew immeadietly that it wasnt you.. that day. I'm sorry I lied, but Michael made me promise."
"Why didnt you just tell me?"
Mallory looked at you in a guilty manner. Her lips pursing shut as she looked solemnly at her shoes, avoiding eye contact. You knew exactly why she was being quiet - she didnt want to admit why she had lied but.. the answer was pretty obvious.
Even though Mallory was one of the strongest witches - almost stronger than Cordelia on some days, she still was scared of Michael and that was nothing worth holding a grudge over. After all he was still the antichrist, no matter how (mostly) harmless and idiotic he seemed to you now.
"Okay.. I guess that doesnt really matter," you admitted with a laugh. Figeting with your hands as you heard a shallow laugh omit also from Mallory, which made you smile. The shallow pit that resided in your stomach finally starting to let up. "But.. What did he call you about last night?"
Mallory hesitated again before giving you another subtle smile.
"It was mostly about you.. I know how you feel about him y/n, but its working. I promise you. Hes finally warming up to you. I just wish you could hear how he talks about you,” she spoke. Taking your hands into her soft, warm ones.
"I wish I believed that," You admitted.
"I wouldnt lie to you. Hes finally starting to warm up to you, plus it was obvious yesterday-"
"Yeah; It was obvious how strong he was coming onto you."
Mallory laughed again at your words. Shaking her head slightly in protest.
“Y/n you know that’s not true. The only reason why he was flirting with me was just to get to you.. I thought that was obvious.”
“It was obvious I just.. didn’t know that you knew that. I mean, Michael has Madison.. or he did so you think that would at least satisfy his flirting needs for a bit but.. Michael faking to be interested in you, that would mean he wanted a reaction out of me on purpose? Why would he-“
“You know why. You need to start cutting yourself slack and realize that maybee this rivalry is starting to be one sided.”
You pouted at her words at the realization that they actually held more truth in them than you were willing to admit. If Michael didn’t hate you anymore, if he was truly actually willing to be civil.. then why were you still so upset? Were you the one who was unintentionally causing problems now? Was it now you instead of Michael that was holding the relationship back?
How fucking stupid.
“I can’t trust him, Mallory. How can I when he and Madison literally tried to kill me. I can never forget that they did that to me.”
“I’m not asking you to forget what he did, y/n. I’m just saying that maybe it wouldn’t hurt to start having an open mind around him, and see where it gets you.”
You were struck silent, knowing that Mallory was completely right. If you wanted to have any hope at all of making things right with Michael (even though you really didn’t do anything wrong..) you would have to try a different approach because obviously; what you were doing now wasn’t working. Being snarky, and vaguely threatening him every chance you got was fun of course but- it wasn’t working. Even though Mallory was probably the sweetest person you knew, the fact your own best friend had to (very politely) make a intervention was.. not a good sign. Although, you knew Mallory was doing this for your best interest because if she didn’t say anything, then Cordelia certainly would.
And sadly, Mallory was actually right.
If you wanted things with Michael to advance any further; or to advance at all you needed to step things up but, you could always worry about that after Mallory left.
“So what, are you guys besties now or something?” You sneered.
“Shut up!” Mallory said with a laugh, playfully pushing you over a bit. “He’s barely even my acquaintance. The only reason he’s being nice to me is just to get to you, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I mean that’s the goal-“
“Do you think that’s the only reason?” You interrupted.
Your throat automatically tightened after you spoke, the threat of your words potentially being true coaxing you to silence. Your not sure why the thought of Michael using you made you upset.. it’s not as if you didn’t think he was doing it before but this time it was different. Perhaps it was because you finally thought Michael actually had some type of interest in you.. and to have that suddenly ripped away?
That would leave you beyond broken.. you knew that for certain.
Mallory looked at you solemnly, as if she was already resenting her words before she had to say them outloud.
“Look, I don’t exactly know Michaels intentions and I’m not going to pretend too.. I don’t really think anyone does at this point but I do know that regardless of your feelings, or even his feelings that.. you have to try.”
You let out a loud exhale.
“I mean you said it yourself.. Michaels so unpredictable, there’s no point in guessing how he feels so.. maybe I should just.. ask him?”
Realistically you didn’t know how good of a idea that was- but.. trying to remain realistic was something you gave up on days ago. Pretty much the same day you switched and that definitely wasn’t a coincidence by any means.
As soon as Mallorys mouth opened, you heard three loud knocks. Quick and rapid with no hesitation between them. The apartment nearly shook with the force of whoever happened to be at your door, and you certainly didn’t doubt that your neighbors heard the knocking as well.
Mallory looked at you in utter confusion, but stayed on the bed nonetheless with no sign of getting up. Naturally, you found yourself scooting closer to the end of the bed, knowing it was you who was going to have to get the door.. and that made you scared shitless. Not because you were necessarily scared to open the door but because you had a horribly bad feeling on who was on the other side.. There was only one person that you knew of that was aware of where you lived, and you knew it wasn’t matience or staff.
You knew standing up was the logical thing to do but you still stalled. Hands starting to painfully dig into the soft, expensive sheets that lie underneath you. You mouthed a silent, ‘what the fuck?’ to Mallory but your head snapped back at the door..
Three more knocks which were only louder and more persistent than the last.
“Coming!” You quickly called out.
It was pure anxiety that fueled your next actions. You quickly stood up from the bed, trying to walk hurriedly to the door as fast as you could and trying your damn best not to think.. Hoping Mallory also had a idea of who was at the door and also happened to get the fuck out of view.
You didn’t want a repeat of yesterday happening again today, and you knew you wouldn’t hesitate to slap Michael if he tried to flirt with her again. Even though, you knew you weren’t supposed to act like that anymore.. but why should you have manners if Michael refused them as well?
Opening the door swiftly and without a second thought; you stood breathless as you saw a familiar blonde standing in front of you.
You both stared at each other at first - each not daring to have the balls to say ‘hello’ or anything else for that matter.. You noticed how Michael first eyed you up, fully looking up and down your body (as well as peering behind you, hopefully not making eye contact with Mallory). You made a point to just look into Michaels eyes, refusing to do what he was doing.. whatever the fuck that truly was.
“How did you know I would be here?” You breathed.
“I knew it was just a matter of time before you’d come, but it also never hurt to charm the hotel staff a bit,” Michael responded swiftly without a second beat, almost as if he anticipated your words. His lips upturned slightly at the edges, in a way that nearly made your stomach sick.
“The hotel staff-?!”
“I have connections everywhere y/n, I thought you knew that,” he sneered.
He brushed past you as you continued to stand in shock. Your mouth slightly falling open as Michael took a few steps into your apartment - looking curiously around, almost as if he knew Mallory was here..
“I did.. I think that’s obvious,” you shot back hurriedly. “But thank you for the apartment again, Michael. I still feel weird taking it but it is nice I’ll admit,” you continued. Hoping to make him turn around to look back at you and hopefully not find Mallory.. Which worked. At least for a few seconds at least.
Michael made direct eye contact with you for a moment, almost as if he wanted to speak but was deliberately choosing not too. Instead he turned around, walking in deeper in the apartment.
Your mouth immediately dropped open - your feet carried yourself forward as you started to feel a bit numb with shock- not knowing even in the slightest how you were going to handle the situation if Mallory didn’t fucking move.
Sure enough..
“You always manage to linger.. don’t you?” Michael spoke.
It took only a couple steps for you to fully realize he wasn’t speaking to you. You only saw his backside as you approached them. Quickly meeting Mallorys gaze as you came into view.. Her brown eyes darker than ever as she peered up at you.
This time it is nearly impossible to distinguish whether she looked in agony from Michaels appearance or yours; since you apparently interrupted them. Her gaze quickly returned back to meet Michaels before you could think anything of it.
“I’m not here to see you, Michael.” Mallory announced. Her tone harsher than what you were expecting what apparent friends would use.. Were they even really friends?
Mallory suddenly stood up while Michael was still standing a few feet in front of her. Making eye contact with Michael for a split second before almost ducking around him before she stood in front of you.. leaving Michael speechless behind her. She quickly hugged you, her arms only embracing you for a split second before leaving. It was obvious she was in a hurry to leave now but.. you weren’t sure exactly why.
“I should get going, you and Michael have a lot to talk about,” she subtly smiled before turning to leave.. not letting you reply or have any sort of reaction to her words.
You stood solemnly as you heard Mallory’s footsteps gradually go farther away, before hearing the door open and close. You watched Michaels back as he refused to turn around.
“How was your nice chat with Mallory?”
“Why are you asking? Am I not allowed to see her or something?” You bit back. Your words possibly twice as venomous as his were.
Michael hastily turned around, looking at you with utter disbelief. His blue eyes looking into yours, as if he was suddenly surprised by your tone and how you were acting - as if his behavior didn’t proceeded yours.
“You need to relax,” he snapped. He approached you until he was right in front of you. “I wasn’t asking because I’m trying to control you, I know that’s what your thinking,” His words fell soft until they were nearly inaudible. “I just wanted to ask what she talked to you about.”
“About us?” You prompted.
“Well what else would she be talking to you about,” he snickered. His words spoken as more of a statement than a question. His laughter quickly dwindled off after he saw how rigid your frame suddenly looked. “Kidding. For the most part.. she said she was going to talk to you, and I figured I should actually speak to you this time rather than her.”
“Are you.. actually trying to trust me, Michael Langdon?” You teased. A smile, as well as laughter escaped from your lips at the mere thought.
Even though the thought was amusing on its own, you still didn’t completely trust him. Even now when he had Mallorys trust (for the most part), you still didn’t doubt that he had a ulterior motive.
Michael finally stepped back, hesitantly breaking eye contact before inaudibly beckoning you to follow him.
“I’m trying, just like how I told you I would,” He hauntingly reminded you.
You followed him silently to the long leather couch that sat by the overly expansive windows. Sitting down next to him in a way that felt almost too casual.. but being casual around Michael and not borderline fearing for your life was something you would have to adjust too.
You noticed how he instantly slipped his shoes off; drawing up his feet on the couch.. his arms and as well the rest of him contained. Away from you.
“So if your trying.. now,” you suggested uncertainly. “Then.. tell me why you came here to talk suddenly again? I mean why not just go through Mallory again like you’ve doing previously?”
“(Y/n), please. Take me seriously and just trust me for once,” His words came out quick and stern as he spoke them. “I was being serious yesterday, as well as all the other times when I told you I wanted to start.. putting effort in and trying.”
You stared at Michael utterly dumbfounded.. Feeling a bit hopeless that you actually felt almost.. touched by his words. That’s if he was actually being serious, anyway.
“What does trying mean to you?” You asked carefully. Your mind naturally went back to Madison.. were they even broken up yet? Was that even something that Michael was willing to do for you, and how was that something you could just ask? “What about-“
“Madison’s fine. She’s fine.. with everything,” he replied hesitantly.
You simply ignored the fact that he seemed to pick up what you were talking about almost immeadietly.. focusing on rather the latter part of the sentence.. that she was okay with everything?
“So she knows? That you’re here?”
“Yeah. She knows but that’s besides the point. Madison isn’t a part of the equation anymore, I don’t want to talk about her,” He spoke as if his words were final and not to be argued with, but his tone wasn’t angry. He was just done.. and you were too.
You wish that wasn’t the case though. Cutting Madison off didn’t sit right with you in the slightest, and it would definitely have to be something that would have to be mended later. That was a given.
Madison and Michaels relationship was far too close for them to suddenly split and remain like that forever - it was temporary, but so is everything really. That shouldn’t phase you but - it still managed too.
“Okay. I’m sorry, I didn’t-“ you started.
“It’s fine. I knew you would ask.. She’s the reason why I’m here actually,” His eyes broke contact and averted down to his hands. “I don’t mean that as in I’m not here to see you but, it was something she said that brought me here.” He continued, his voice almost growing soft now at just the mention of his ex girlfriend.. and now, you felt like you actually were starting to understand his point of view. Not fully but, it was clear that Michael was trying to be more open with you, and this time he wasn’t ‘fake’ drunk.
It took nearly everything in you to not immeadietly retort but just like the night where you were at the party; you tried to fully hear him out since this was apparently one of the few times he was being civil.
“So Madison gave you advice and you actually took it?” You said while laughing softly. Trying to lighten the mood since Michael seemed to be brooding.
Michael didn’t laugh back but instead his gaze flickered up to meet yours for a moment. The corners of his mouth upturning in a shallow smile that only lasted for a few seconds.
“I did because it made sense.” He said, his tone still remaining serious. You noticed how careful he was being with his words.. something that was typical for Michael to do but this time it seemed a bit too deliberate. You wanted to ask what exactly Madison even told him to do but.. that felt wrong. “It was also the right thing to do.. Being close to you is something I should’ve done a while ago, probably immeadietly-“
“But what’s in the past; stays in the past. And since your so adamant about being close to me.. we can always try now,” you cut in.
Michael continued to sit a good distance away from you; you thought it was ironic how he could talk about wanting to get close with you but wouldn’t dare to move any closer. That thought made your pride a little bit too happy.
Right before he could open his mouth to say something; his phone rang. The sound suddenly earsplitting and blaring but Michael didn’t bother to flinch. Instead he stood up and answered his phone.. making sure to nearly trek across the apartment before he said anything into the phone.
You stretched and casually examined him as he talked, you had a feeling who it was on the line..
After how tense things were with Mallory - you knew they probably weren’t going to be on friendly terms anytime soon.. especially in front of you. And judging by how.. oddly relaxed he seemed (yet timid when he caught your gaze and realized you were staring), it had to be one person.
You were about to sink back into the couch and try your best to not speculate what they were talking about, but before you could fully turn - you realized Michael was sauntering towards you.. clearly still on the phone.
Oh fuck.
Before you could ask what was wrong, the look he gave you alone ushered you to silence.
He quickly held the phone away from his ear. A quick glance at the screen confirmed that the call was still active.
“You said you forgive Madison.. right?” He spoke lowly. His words barely audible, more so mouthing the words than actually speaking them.
You looked at him with a expression you’re sure looked as if you were furious but you were really just completely confused. You wanted to ask but.. there was no time if she was on the phone, but knowing what you were about to get yourself into would also be nice to know.
His eyes had since lost the sharpness that had nearly cut you earlier, instead swarming with urgency and a bit of panic.. It had to be Madison. The only person that could ever have that effect on Michael was Madison.
You simply nodded in response. Not trusting yourself to speak quietly outloud but you also didn’t exactly trust your response because it wasn’t exactly truthful, but Michael seemed to be level headed.. for now.
Michael immeadietly turned and held the phone back up to his ear, this time staying in closer proximity and within ear shot. Putting on his shoes as he continued to hold the conversation he was having.
“Okay
...
So when are you coming?
...
Great, see you then. . . Bye.”
If you didn’t just hear the words that you thought you had heard.. you knew under normal circumstances your heart would’ve ached when you realized how Michael hesitated before he said goodbye, most likely catching himself before he said ‘I love you’. Instead though, you felt a gruesome wave of nausea suddenly rise through you.. urging you to shakily stand up and speak without thinking.
“She’s coming to see you?”
Michael barely gave you a second glance as he turned around and started to head for the front door of the apartment.
“Yes. You’ll be seeing her too, don’t worry.” He spoke before he quickly let the door shut behind him.
You continued to stand, utterly speechless.
Part of you wanted to run after him and the other part merely wanted to scream in anger that he had already made fucking plans but instead you felt numb. Numb and calm.
You returned to your bag and unpacked, trying your best to not let your emotions consume you like they previously had too many times.. until you finally broke down and called Mallory.
Taglist: @michaellangdonstanaccount @langdonsexual @jimmason @blakescoven @dark-mei-rose @9layerdevilfoodcake @prophecy-is-inevitable @matildaofoz @beautyiswithinchaos @frenchlangdon @king-with-no-crovvn @melodylangdon @littledemondani @langdons-pinkyring @celestialrequiem @sojournmichael @mindlesschicca
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saltedpeppermintmocha · 3 years ago
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how sweet it is (to be loved by you) - todoroki x reader [chapter 2/8]
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Summary:
You are the head baker and owner of a struggling bakery. When pro hero Creati comes in for a wedding cake, of course you accept.
As a business owner, you are excited about the boom in profits resulting from the publicity of working a hero wedding.
As a baker, you are ecstatic to work on an extravagant cake - your most ambitious one to date.
As a woman, you are terrified as you begin to grow feelings for the one person you REALLY cant: the groom.
NOTES: NO infidelity, NO cheating, NO divorce!
Chapter One
MATURE : MINORS DO NOT INTERACT // 18+
Four Months Before the Wedding
“Hello.”
His voice is deep and his words soft-spoken. He politely kicks his winter boots against the mat at the front door and takes another step into the bakery. The movement causes flakes of snow to detach from his hair and flutter to the ground around him. It’s almost magical, like a scene from a fairytale. Wow. You can’t help but stare.
The man is tall -more so than you’d thought from the rare interview you’ve seen of him- and impeccably well dressed. His expensive-looking navy coat is long and chic, somehow managing to fit both his smaller waist and powerful shoulders. It’s probably tailored. You idly think of your coat hanging in the back: an item you’ve had for about five years now that definitely looks its age. What wouldn’t you give to be one of these rich people that for some reason seem to be visiting your bakery recently.
That thought brings you back to reality. Right. Pro hero Shouto is in your bakery.
Why is he in your bakery?
It slowly dawns on you. Rich people. The wedding. “Oh, you must be here for the cake.”
“I am.” He nods, looking around the little front area. You feel a little self-conscious, hoping that everything he sees is up to his standards. “Forgive me, were you about to close?”
“No no!” You wave your hands as he turns to look at you. “It’s okay! This actually works better, we can discuss everything without being interrupted.” Walking over to the door, you flip the sign over to ‘closed’ and gesture towards the seating area. “Please take a seat. I’ll go grab my stuff and be right back.”
Turning on your heel, you head for the back room without another look back at the hero. Instead of going straight for your wedding binder and notebooks, you lean against the nearest wall and place your head in your hands.
Oh my god. Shouto Todoroki is the groom.
Somehow, this wedding is an even bigger deal than you thought. Obviously, any hero wedding became an important event, but you had thought (hoped, even) that maybe Creati was marrying a civilian or a lesser-ranked hero. The wedding would still be a big deal, but you were confident in your ability to handle it. Shouto Todoroki, a beloved hero in the top 15, is definitely not what you were expecting. This wedding is bound to be huge in a way that you definitely had not prepared for.
The hero profession is a solitary one. Pro heroes rarely date, and if they do it is a very secretive affair. It is extremely dangerous to date a hero and those brave enough to try become an instant target for villains. This target only gets bigger the higher the hero’s rank is, and most top heroes don’t even try.
Thinking about it, you can’t really think of any of the top 10 heroes other than Creati (apparently) who are in a relationship. Sure, there were rumors about the number six hero Deku and the number twenty-four hero Uravity, and Endeavor must have had someone if he has kids but-
Oh.
Oh no.
Oh no no no.
Todoroki is, well, a Todoroki . He is Endeavor’s son. The terrifying number one hero will probably be at this wedding. The number one hero will probably eat your cake. And if it’s both Todoroki and Yaoyorozu’s wedding, you can bet that a bunch of other big-name heroes will be there as well. Your vision swims as pressure pushes on your shoulders. How can you even begin to deliver a cake up to this caliber? You might be good, but you’re just one person.
You’re going to need to block off more days.
After what is probably a suspiciously long pause, you manage to calm yourself down enough to push off the wall to grab your binder and notebook. You pause before heading out to the front area, taking a deep breath to steel yourself before walking out.
Todoroki has found a small table near the window. He has partially turned away from you, face resting on his palm as he looks out to the snowy street. He has taken off his scarf and coat, both draped carefully over the back of his chair. How does he manage to look so elegant while doing something so normal?
You pinch your thigh. Stop it. You can’t think this way about him. You have to be professional. He is a client. He is a married man .
“Sorry for the wait!” You call out, heading over. He turns to look at you as you sit across from him, placing the binder and notebook on the table. You take this opportunity to introduce yourself properly. Up close, you find him even more handsome than before. Those dual-toned eyes are calm and watchful, and his sharp features have a symmetry to them that would not look out-of-place on a Vogue Japan photoshoot.
“Nice to meet you.” Todoroki gives a polite smile, shaking your hand when offered. It’s quite cold. “I believe Momo has already spoken to you about the general idea.”
“Yup!” You nod, taking the moment to open your notebook. “Unless things have changed, we’re still going for a five-tier cake.” Glancing up, you wait for him to nod before continuing. “What design are we thinking of?”
You look down, ready to write quick notes on whatever design has been chosen. This is the part you’ve been both excited for and dreading the most. Normally, you are extremely excited to get a design and to work to bring that design to life. You live for the expression you see on the client's face at their first look at the finished product. This time though...you’re nervous.
The design that is chosen will either make or break your next few months. If the design is easy and normal, you will be able to complete it on time with confidence. If the design is unusual and complicated, you honestly don’t know what you are going to do. This cake has to be perfect down to the smallest details, and you have to balance your time between the cake and running the store. Maybe you can hire another baker on a contract for help. Hmm.
After a few moments of no response, you look up. “I don’t know.” That normally blank face seems unsure. His mouth pulled into a small frown.
“You...don’t know.” You blink. That’s a bit weird. “Okay...I just thought that you would have a bit more input.” He is the groom, after all. You didn’t think Yaoyorozu was the kind of woman to insist that only she had input in these matters. Wait. Was that rude to say? You decide to push past it for now. “No matter, as long as we can get the full contract done for today I’ll be happy. I’ll need the design elements as soon as possible though if we want them to be completed on time. Some parts will probably need a lot of planning. Do we know the flavour or flavours yet?”
“No.”
You suck in a breath through your teeth. Calm, be calm. “ Okay. I’d like to set up a taste test of the top requested flavours, so that you can get an idea of how the cake will actually taste and make the final decisions. I’ll need to do that as soon as possible.”
“I understand.” He nods, a bit stiffly.
“Do you...have a date in mind?”
He gives you a surprised look, two-toned eyes flickering over you. “...for the wedding?”
You sit up straight. “No!” What the hell? Did he think you were propositioning the groom to his own wedding? “You obviously have a date for the wedding. For the taste test!”
“Oh.” He replies simply, not seeming to understand the absolute absurdity of his own question. “No, I will likely not be involved with that. I only came today as a favour.” A favour?
Todoroki takes note of your confused expression and explains. “They got held up by the villain attack.” Oh, that makes sense. Yaoyorozu must have gone to help the others. The U.A students tend to appear whenever possible to help each other out. You think it’s sweet that they have such a strong bond after graduation. You don’t really talk to anybody you went to school with anymore.
His explanation does give your meeting a bit more context. If Yaoyorozu is ‘in charge’ of the cake, and Todoroki did not expect to even be meeting you, you can’t really get too annoyed at him that he doesn’t have the answers. At least he showed up and didn’t leave you wondering if you’d been stood up by the heroes. In the end, you decide to table the question about the cake tasting date, but underline it in your notebook. You’ll need that, soon.
The rest of the meeting goes smoothly. The two of you go over the contract in as much detail as possible. While it is extremely unorthodox for you to leave blank spaces in your contracts, you are sort of forced to do so in the areas of flavors and design. In the end, the hero couple is paying over double the amount you would normally charge for the cake. You can’t imagine any crazy design or flavour going over that cost. Neither hero seems like the crazy type of client. You’ll be fine. Hopefully. If you’re wrong then...well...you’re kind of screwed. The publicity has to be worth it.
After only about an hour of discussion (you really don’t have too much to go over, with Todoroki knowing nothing about the design or flavours), the meeting is over. You close your notebook, stand up and offer a hand to shake to end the meeting. Todoroki stands, shaking your hand with his cooler one. He assures you that somebody will reach out to you soon about the needed elements. You hope you’re right.
“I am sorry that I kept you after hours.” He says as he gracefully slides on his coat, glancing outside. “I hope you don’t have too far to walk.”
You shake your head. “Don’t worry, I actually live upstairs.” Something flickers in his face that you can’t catch.
Then he nods. “I see.” He wraps his scarf around his head, somehow managing to look both cute and attractive. He heads towards the door, the bell chiming as he opens it. “Goodbye then.”
“Goodbye!” You smile and wave. “Be safe out there!”
You watch as he leaves, completely still until you can no longer see the red and white hair out the window. Letting out a deep breath, you sink back down into the chair.
Well, that sure was something.
----
You’re not sure exactly what prompted the suddenly quick response after so long of nothing, but some of the information you need comes the very next day.
It’s early morning. The store has just opened, you can hear the slight bustle of your loyal morning folk as they come to get their breakfast. Your morning worker -a young man named Tanaka who is almost scarily jolly in the morning- welcomes everyone with his juxtaposition of a voice: booming yet somehow soft.
You have been down at the bakery for hours now, getting the first round of bread, pastries, and other necessary items complete before opening. It’s a lot of work, but you can’t complain. At least you still have work. You have just finished a batch of your personal favourite, rosemary goat cheese croissants when your phone rings in your pocket.
Pulling your phone out of your pocket (the thing has been covered in flour before, it’ll be fine), you check the contact name.
[ Contact: C Manager ]
Your eyes widen, and you instantly accept the call. With one careful eye on your ovens, you walk over to a nearby wall and lean against it. “Hello?”
"Good morning.” The soft voice of Yaoyorozu chimes in on the other end. You straighten a bit, surprised to hear the hero directly. “My apologies for Shouto the other day. I understand he wasn’t too much help to you.”
“No no, it’s okay!” You gesture with your hands, realizing afterward that she obviously doesn’t see it. “He was really kind, and we still got some work done.”
“I see.” She hums thoughtfully on the other end of the phone. “Well, he did mention that you were getting stressed about certain elements of the cake. Is that correct?” Oh no. You hope she doesn’t think you’re being rude.
But she doesn’t sound annoyed or frustrated at you. If you had to guess, her tone sounded more amused than anything. You bite your lip before answering. “Ah, well...I don’t want to pressure anyone. I just need to get started on certain things or it won't be done in time.”
“Yes, I understand.” She responds. “I figure I can give you some of the design ideas now if that works?”
Oh, hell yes! “That would be wonderful!” You can’t help but smile. Finally. “Do you want to meet somewhere?”
“Unfortunately, no. I’m caught up in this-” She pauses as a loud sound comes through the phone. “ thing at the moment. Will you be amenable to me giving you the details over the phone?”
“Oh, yea! That’s okay.” You push off the wall and rush towards the office area, grabbing the newly named ‘Y&S Wedding’ binder with your flour-covered hands. It’s fine. You anchor the phone between your shoulder and your face and grab a pen with your other hand, opening the notebook to the ‘design’ page. “Okay, what do you got?”
The cake turns out to be pretty normal as far as wedding cakes go, which you are extremely thankful for considering everything. It is a five-tier cake, classic white with cascading pink flowers and green stems/leaves. That is...definitely doable. You can ace this. Thank god. Relief hits you hard in the chest as you write it down.
“Is there anything extra that either party would like to be added?” You ask, your tone dipping into complete professionalism as your mind has a mini-party at the relatively easy design. You doodle a happy face beside your notes.
“No, that is alright,” Yaoyorozu replies. “It was a struggle already to talk him down from some of the crazy cake designs he had in mind to something more...appropriate.” A pause. “Not that any of the ideas were bad per se, but I don’t think the wedding is the place for a giant All Might statue cake.”
Your mind-party screeches to a halt. What?!
“He...wanted an All Might cake?” You ask in disbelief. That doesn’t sound like Todoroki at all. Maybe it was a way to ‘get back’ at Endeavor? There have been plenty of rumors over the years about that relationship, but they team up enough now that most have been pushed to the side.
“Yes, well, he adores the man.” She says it with a fondness that seems almost inappropriate considering your current state.
You think of the calm prince-like man from the day before. Could he really be that big of a fanboy of a hero like All Might? It just doesn’t compute. They were so different. You really can’t picture it. Still, it’s not like you really know Todoroki. Maybe he has some secret obsession or something.
Somehow, you feel like you’ve gained some insider knowledge. The press would pay a good amount for something like this. Not that you ever would go to them, ew. Actually, would they even believe you if you did? It was so absurd.
You realize that you have disappeared into your own thoughts. A big no-no when on the phone with a client. You pull yourself back. “Thank you for the design! I will get to work right away. Do we have any idea when we can do a cake tasting? That is the last big milestone here.”
“I’m sorry.” She responds, sounding truly apologetic. “It’s...difficult between all of our busy schedules. I promise I will work to get something set up.”
Well, honestly that is all you can really ask for. You thank her for the information and her time. The two of you say your goodbyes, and hang up. For a moment you stare down at your notebook in surprise. This is not how you expected things to go. It’s early, and you have a lot to do today. You already can tell you will be partially distracted, your brain trying to figure out the specifics of the design.
You smile. In the end, finally, you have something you can work with.
------
1 Week Later
Ten minutes before closing (of course) , the bell above the door chimes. You can’t see who has walked in, your back to the door as you wipe down a table. You take a brief moment to close your eyes and breathe before turning around.
“Good evening!” Your customer service voice is normally on point -the stuff of legends really- but this time it becomes higher-pitched at the end.
Shouto Todoroki stands in your doorway. Again.
After the last meeting, you truly didn’t expect to see the man again until his wedding (maybe not even then). He didn’t seem to have any input in the cake decisions, nor did he seem to care about not having any input.
“Oh, hello again.” You smile, fighting to keep your voice steady as you shove the cloth in your apron pocket.
“Hello.” His mouth ticks up in a soft smile.
“Were we supposed to have a meeting today?” You ask, pulling your phone out of your pocket to look at the date. No, you don’t think there was a meeting scheduled. You see Todoroki shake his head in your peripheral vision. The hero politely kicks his shoes on the mat and takes a few more steps into the store. Heterochromatic eyes look around for a moment before catching on to something to your right.
“Then what can I do for you today?” You ask politely, following his line of vision to your display case. “Here for a snack?”
Those eyes look straight back at you. “I want to order another cake for the wedding.”
What?! Your heart plummets. Another cake?! This late?! When you’re already having trouble getting the specifics on the first one?!
Todoroki seems to notice your panicked expression, hands going up in a calming gesture. “Not a large cake, but one of those small specialized ones.”
Your panicked thoughts pause. Wait. “Do you mean… a groom's cake?” Please be a groom's cake. You can make a groom's cake.
He nods. “It’s a surprise.” A surprise? For Yaoyorozu?
“Uh, sure. I can do that.” You reply. “Hold on a sec.” Instead of going for your physical notebook in the back, you decide to simply bring up the note app on your phone. It’s not as professional, but it works in a pinch. “Is there a theme?”
“All Might.”
You blink slowly, mouth opening in surprise. All Might?!
The conversation with Yaoyorozu comes to the forefront of your mind. Is he...really just an All Might fanboy? That seems so wrong, somehow. You narrow your eyes at his blank expression, considering him.
“...you must really like him, huh?” You whisper.
Todoroki tilts his head a bit to the side, eyes narrowing in confusion. “He is a very good teacher.”
...is that enough to get an entire cake based off of the man?!
A long moment passes where you both stare at each other, neither seemingly sure of what to say. Eventually, as the professional you have to break the tension. “Well, okay. I can definitely do that. Groom's cakes tend to be relatively small and fun. What elements are you looking for?”
“I will leave that up to you.”
“Uh, are you sure?” That is a lot of power he is just handing you, especially when he seems to care so much about the retired number one hero.
“You are very highly recommended by the Uraraka’s.”  Do the Uraraka’s know everybody?! “I don’t really...have an eye for design either way, and as the wedding gets closer I feel like I may become too busy.”
“That makes sense.” You mumble, writing down on your notebook app. Weddings are normally difficult things to plan, and you can’t imagine the amount of stuff necessary for a large hero one. If he wants you to design the smaller cake, you can do that. Your mind is already pulling together a few ideas. Similar to the large cake, you’ll need to make this one amazing. “What budget are you thinking?”
“Is 50,000¥ enough?”
Startled, you look up. 50,000¥ was a lot for a groom's cake. You want to tell him so but said groom is no longer in your line of vision. Glancing over to your right, you find the hero looking into your display case. He seems to care very little about the amount he just mentioned (ugh, rich people) so you simply say. “Um, yeah...that’s enough.”
You walk closer to the man, wondering why he seems so interested in the unsold pastries. “You are about to close, but there are so many left.” He looks up as you get closer. “How much longer will they last?”
Stopping to stand about a foot away from the man, you also look into the display and frown. “Oh...yeah, they are probably going to be thrown out, sadly.”
“Why?” At his soft voice, you glance over at the hero. Your eyes lock with two-toned ones.
“I try to sell the leftovers at half-off the next day, but they still barely sell.” You shrug. “I try to give as much as possible to the local shelters, but it isn’t always possible.” Looking outside at the hail coming down, you know you won't make it there today.
“Do you always make too much?”
“No.” You sigh, looking back at the sad, unbought pastries. “We used to be much busier, a year or so ago, but that chain bakery opened down the street and took a lot of my customers with it. Sometimes I still find myself baking as if it’s as busy as it was a year ago, just on habit really.”
There’s a long silence. Then, “I’ll buy them.”
Your eyes widen as your head swings towards the hero. “What, all of them?!”
“Yes.” He nods.
“No no no you don’t have to do that.” You find yourself saying, hands waving uselessly in front of you. “I wasn’t trying to pressure you or anything, it’s okay. You don’t have to-”
Todoroki shakes his head. “No, I want to.”
He looks straight at you, eyes telling you that he won’t back down from this. And well, you’re really not sure why you are refusing him. Maybe it’s the worry that he thinks of you like a charity. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
The next five or so minutes are spent with you packing up every last dessert and pastry into bags. Todoroki will need to use both arms to carry them, but the man doesn’t seem concerned. You are about to put the last rosemary goat cheese croissant away when he interrupts. “Wait, can you leave that one out?”
“Oh, sure.” You reply, placing it on a napkin as you close the paper bags on the counter with a piece of tape.
Todoroki reaches forward, his hand grabbing the croissant with one hand and bringing it to his mouth. One bite, and small parts of the flaky pastry flutter to the ground. You don’t mind, it makes you happy that the croissant lasts the entire day. Also, his wide-eyed expression is adorable.
He chews a bit more and swallows. “It’s good.”
“Thank you.” You smile. “You don’t have to say that, you know. I won't be offended or anything.” Okay, a bit of a lie. You adore those croissants.
“I’m not lying.” He insists, two-toned eyes staring straight at you. “It’s really good.”
His eyes are a bit more intense than normal. You look away, your cheeks warming a bit at the complimentary words. Shit, no. Married man. Nope. Not going there, even for a second. “Well, thank you.” You even your voice and continue packing the bags, keeping your eyes away from the man.
Once done, you carefully slide the bags across the counter towards him. “Here you go. Do you need help taking them anywhere?” Your professional voice is back.
Todoroki gives you a weird look, taking the bags in his hands. The croissant he was eating is mysteriously gone, although you notice a small crumb on his cheek. You look away. “No, I will be okay.” His deep voice echoes a bit in the small room.
After a brief moment, he walks towards the doorway. “Thank you for coming!” You call out, not moving from behind the counter. It’s safer here. “I’ll get started on the groom's cake right away! If I see you again, I’ll run my ideas by you.”
“I’ll come again.” Todoroki looks back with a small nod. “I hope you have a good night.”
The hero leaves as quickly as he appeared, disappearing out of sight only moments after he exits the bakery. If you had a chair behind you, you would sink down into it. As it is, you rest your hands against the counter in exhaustion.
These heroes were taking a lot out of you. Damn.
-------
2 Weeks Later
You stare up at the imposing building ahead of you, dread pooling in your stomach. The building itself was a hotel, tall and beautiful in architecture. That doesn’t matter too much though, you’re not exactly here for the hotel. No, you are here for the fancy-as-hell restaurant at the top: Eragawa.
Even the elevator to the restaurant is fancy. Luckily you are alone in it, so you are able to stare and judge your reflection in the mirrored walls without anyone seeing you. You frown, using your free hand to try and pat some of the flour off your shirt and organize your hair a bit. It doesn’t work, you already look extremely out of place.
It’s not like you wanted to be here at this fancy restaurant in your work slacks and shirt covered in various ingredients. The day had started normally, with you planning to spend your free time getting caught up on overdue paperwork. However, a text early in the morning ruined that plan.
[ Contact: C Manager ]
C Manager: Creati will meet you at Eragawa today at 7:30 p.m for the taste test.
Truthfully, you were starting to get a bit annoyed. The manager never asked your opinion, or even if you were free at the time they wanted you to be. They would always just make plans without you. You understood that Creati must have a really busy schedule right now, but damn . Still, it’s not like you could refuse. You had been waiting for this for a while now.
You: Okay. Thank you!
So, you had spent the rest of the day busier than ever. In between baking and managerial duties, you had to make a variety of cakes and icings in different flavours. Since you didn’t have any idea of where to start, you picked the most common flavours for her to try. It was... a lot to do on your own, and not for the first time did you wish you had some sort of assistant.
By the time you had everything ready to go, you had just enough time to make it to the restaurant. Knowing how impossible it had been trying to get this cake tasting appointment in the first place, you didn’t want to risk anything by being late. You had no time to shower or even change out of your work clothes. You simply grabbed the container of cakes, threw on your old coat, and ran out the door.
Now, though, you wonder if maybe it would have been better to be a bit late. The elevator door opens on the top floor, revealing a modern-looking restaurant in dark colours. You clutch at the handle of the container and look around. Wow. Nobody here looks like they would be caught dead in anything not a designer brand.
The hostess looks you over with a critical eye as you approach, but smiles and welcomes you nonetheless. “Good evening! Welcome to Eragawa, how can I help you today?”
“Um, hello.” You smile awkwardly back. Even the hostess is dressed nicer than you, damnit. “I’m with the Yaoyorozu group?”
The hostess blinks slowly at you. “Of course. Please wait here for a moment.” She turns to disappear into the back, another host taking up her post. You shuffle to the side of the waiting area and look around. The restaurant just screams ‘posh’ with its white tablecloth and candles and napkins folded into roses. You’d bet those glasses are made from actual crystal too. Damn.
The elevator door opens again as a group of well-dressed men and women walk in. You lean into the wall, trying to make yourself invisible to the other customers. It doesn’t work, and a woman in a fancy dress looks down her nose at you as she passes. The host takes them immediately to their table. Figures.
Eventually, the hostess you were talking to returns. “Please come this way.” You notice her smile is a bit larger this time as she leads you through the dining room. Quite a few patrons give you odd looks as you walk by, clearly not used to someone covered in powder walking through the area.
The hostess leads you past the dining room to a hallway in the back. You have just enough time to wonder if you are being taken out back like some sort of mafia movie before she stops at a door. She turns and opens it, bowing low as she gestures for you to go inside.  
You walk through, eyes wide. Somehow, the private room is even more extravagant than the dining room. It’s dark and modern, like the rest of the restaurant, with giant windows overlooking the city. A beautiful crystal chandelier hangs from the tall ceiling. In the middle, two people sit at a round table. They look up as you enter.
Yaoyorozu’s eyes widen as she takes you in. You offer her a sheepish smile, before glancing at the other person. He looks at you with a carefully blank face, but you know he must be thinking something by the way those heterochromatic eyes flicker up and down over you.
Both of them are dressed beautifully. Yaoyorozu is in a gorgeous maroon dress and Todoroki in a light-blue button-down shirt and dark pants. They look properly dressed for this occasion.
Somehow, you feel even more embarrassed. Your cheeks warm a bit as you take a step into the room. “Um, hello.” You attempt a smile. “Sorry if I’m late, I just closed the bakery. Hello again, Yaoyorozu, Todoroki”
“Were you unable to get someone else to close the shop?” Yaoyorozu asks. If someone else were asking, you’d assume it was some sort of dig. Instead, she honestly just sounds concerned.
“I would if I could.” You reply, placing the cake carrier on the table. “Unfortunately, it’s just me.”
The two of them share a look that you can’t decipher. You just hope that you haven’t somehow embarrassed them. “Anyways,” You begin, trying to lighten the mood. “I come bearing the best gift of all, free cake!” Not much of a reaction there. Maybe a free cake to a rich person isn’t as great. Hm. “I’m actually glad that both of you could make it, this way we know for sure that the cake is up to your standards.”
Yaoyorozu looks at the carrier on the table. “Should we wait until after dinner?”
“Ah, I actually have food at home.” You lie, wringing your hands in your lap. There was no way you are staying here. It is too awkward. “If you like, I could leave it with you and head out? I won’t be able to stay though.”
“I see.” Todoroki replies, sharing another look with Yaoyorozu. “Then, shall we begin?”
The cake tasting goes...weirdly. While you have brought a wide variety of selection, the two come to a decision within the first three cakes. Their final decision doesn’t even come from one of your options but is rather a mix of a few they haven't tried yet. In the end, they decide on a vanilla cake with both a strawberry and matcha layer in the middle. They decide on it quickly, too.
“Do you want to try the samples I have?” You point to your cake options with strawberry and matcha. It’s a smart move. For all they know, you suck at these flavours.
However, Yaoyorozu simply shakes her head. “You are recommended by the Uraraka’s.” Her mouth ticks up as she looks over at Todoroki. “Plus, Shouto brought your desserts to the agency a few weeks ago. They were a resounding hit. I am confident in your abilities to pull this off.”
You turn to Todoroki, eyes wide. “You did?!”
He nods. Your mind blanks for a second at the implications. A bunch of heroes eating, and liking your desserts. That is really cool. Still, there is a very different matter at hand. “B-but those are pastries and desserts, not cakes.” You try to get them to see sense. The cakes are right in front of them, why are they messing about?
“It will be okay.” Yaoyorozu nods. “And, well, to be honest I do have another meeting I need to attend.”
Wait, what?
Didn’t they want to have dinner? Why is she leaving? You blink in confusion as the woman stands up. She looks over to Todoroki first, smiling, before turning to you.
“Good night you two.” She says kindly as she turns, walking out of the room with only the clicking of her heels audible. The door closes softly behind her. You stare at it for a moment, mind a whirlwind of confusion and disbelief.
“What just happened?” You turn back to look at Todoroki. The man is also wide-eyed, staring at the door.  “Uh, are you okay?”
That seems to shake him out of it. Heterochromatic eyes shift to you. “Yes.” He nods. “We should also leave.” The hero stands up, grabbing his coat from the back of his chair. It’s the same long navy one you admired the first time you met him.
“Um, okay?” You reply, confused. Oh god, you hope you haven’t done something to somehow ruin their entire night. Dread curls in your stomach as you pack the cakes back up into the carrier
Todoroki leads the way back to the elevator. Yaoyorozu is no longer in sight, probably long gone by now. The staff seems as confused as you feel as you leave, sending odd looks to each other. Your stomach tightens a bit more.
It’s only when you reach the elevator that something clicks in your head. You were dining with two heroes, who both suddenly started acting weird. Really, there is only one explanation you can think of: there’s a villain nearby.
Your heart pounds heavily as you enter the elevator, clutching the carrier tighter in your hands. If there is a villain nearby, why didn’t the heroes evacuate the restaurant? Maybe it’s not safe. Maybe they have to wait for more heroes or a hero with the right quirk?
Despite having lived in Musutafu for most of your life, you’ve never been too close to a villain attack. You have always counted yourself lucky in that way, but maybe your luck is running out. You glance over to Todoroki at your side. The hero doesn’t look any particular way, that blank mask still on his face.
The two of you exit the elevator and head out of the hotel lobby. There is a distinct lack of heroes or police outside, which surprises you. Yaoyorozu must have called for someone, right?
Todoroki leads you across the street to the nearby sidewalk. “What do you need me to do?” You whisper as you finally come to a stop. “Do you want me to call the police?”
“The police?” He looks down at you, tilting his head slightly in confusion. Then his eyes narrow. “Is something wrong?”
Is something... not wrong? You look back up at the hotel, where everything seems completely normal. There is no screaming, no fighting, nothing.  Oh.
As the panic subsides, another layer of embarrassment begins to creep in. Were you really freaking out over nothing??
“I-uh, thought that since we booked it out of there so fast, something had to be wrong.” You look away and try to explain, face warming. “Maybe like a villain or...something.”
“Ah.” He replies. “No, nothing like that.”
“Then...why did we leave?” You risk a glance back up. Todoroki is still looking down at you, expression once again soft.
“You were uncomfortable.” He replies simply.
You can’t even deny it. “So we left?”
“So we left.”
Well, damn. That’s sweet. “But...what about your dinner?”
He pauses, looking around. “Where do you want to go?"
“Uh, I have food-”
“Don't lie.” He interrupts, looking back at you. “You spent your whole day working and baking these cakes. You didn’t even have the time to change before coming here. There is no way you had time to make food.” That’s the most you’ve heard him say at once. Huh. And well, he’s right.
“I could have leftovers?” You attempt, knowing that you’ve been beaten. Your shoulders slump a bit as you consider arguing more. Who are you to be eating with a hero anyways? But...you are tired and hungry. All fight drains from your exhausted bones as you look up at him. You think about potential places as you look around. Honestly, you haven’t been to this part of town much (other than a few fancy dinner nights with your ex, but you don’t want to think about that). Todoroki waits patiently as you think.
“Well...I know one place.” You finally say. “But I’m not really sure if it’s your style.”
“It’s okay.” He shrugs. “I’m sure it's good if you like it.” Oh god. Why does he say those things? You hide your flushed face by walking away. The hero falls into step beside you, seemingly content to let you lead the way.
Walking with Todoroki at night is an ethereal experience. You know it will be a part of your dreams for years to come. Both of you are quiet, taking in the scenery as you walk. It’s cold through your thin jacket, and you shiver a bit at first. It’s a bit weird, but after a few moments, the temperature seems to rise. You put it down to scientific anomalies.
“There it is.” You point out a small stall half-hidden on the street. The two of you make your way over to the small. You keep one eye on the hero, ready to abort at the smallest sign of hesitation from the man. This is definitely not his usual scene.
When you are almost there, the man pauses. You turn, looking up to his face. “Todoroki?” The hero looks surprised, eyes wide and staring at the name of the stall.
“It’s perfect.” He responds, before starting to walk again. His pace is faster than normal, and you have to actually speed up to keep beside him.
As you finally make your way up to the soba stand, you call out. “Hey Haru!”
Haru -a middle-aged man with a bald head- looks up, smiling big when he sees you.  “Hey! I haven’t seen ya sorry face ‘round here in a while. How’ve ya been? Come ‘ere to chat with this old man?” His eyes then catch on Todoroki. “Ah, I see.” His smile ticks up into a smirk.
Your own eyes widen. “No! It’s not what you think, Haru. We’re just here to eat.”
Haru doesn’t look like he believes you but lets it go. “Havin’ the usual then?” You nod. He turns to Todoroki. “And fer you?”
“Do you have cold soba?” The hero asks, taking a seat on the stool next to you.
“Hah! Do I have cold soba?” Haru replies sarcastically. “‘Course I do!”
“Haru makes the best soba on this side of the city.” You say, looking up at Todoroki. The hero looks down at you, and his expression makes you pause. His face is soft and kind, eyes glittering with delight. He smiles.
Your stomach flutters. You push it away and smile back.
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zuffer-weird-girl · 4 years ago
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Soulmate au
Before you meet your soulmate you have to deal with a chibi version of them before actually meeting them. So can you handle it?
This one is readers point of view
Kai's point of view
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Normally people immediately found their chibis of their soulmates when they turned 18. But every rule has their exception.
You were twenty years old and could only watch people talking, cuddling and cooing at the tiny little things or actually their real soulmate... this always leaves a feeling of envy, but you never losed hope. Seeing those couples afterwards gave you ideas on what to do when you finally found your soulmate.
And with the job you had on the library, it was always possible to daydream about it.
Waving goodbye at your coworker you sighed, arranging the books and getting excited to finally end your shift... That was your plan before you yelped when many books from a shelf nearby all fall with an unknown sound.
Grabbing just a ruler as your unique weapon as you slowly tip toed to where it came the sound.
You widened your eyes and trembled at seing the books were moving and you hesitantly poked it with the ruler... making a squeak sound as you tilted your head.
"A... mouse?" You mumbled before screaming and falling in your butt as the book suddenly exploded in front of you in pieces. Breathing in and out you decided to pick at it only to widened your eyes.
A tiny little thing with golden eyes, dark brow hair and the most cute yet weird jacket you ever saw was patting his tiny glived hands while staring nonchantly at them before looking up at you, the same bored expression as before as he shoved his hands on the pockets of his jacket.
"I-It.. it cant be.." you muttered, getting on your knees to look down at the chibi version in front of you. He only arched one eyebrow yet not moving one muscle of his.
You went to touch his cheek with your index finger before he growled and slapped your finger away. It didn't hurt a bit but you still put your hands on surrender.
"Alright! Alright! Weren't you suppose to be more gentle with me?" You exclaimed before deadpanning when you remembered that chibis can't talk.
You looked at the pieces of what was once suppose to be a book and pointed at it.
"Please tell me you can repair that..." he only looked at you before sighing what was probably in annoyance and going to touch and just as a one blink of the eye the book returned as you looked down at him in awe before smilling.
"So this is your quirk huh?"
.
.
.
Since the chibis cant tell the name of them you decided to name your little companion as "goldie" because of the cold of his eyes.... even if for the first few times he only glared at you.
The thing about goldie was that he never was willing to be touched. This confused you a bit at first yet you decided not to pry from it since at night the little chibi would always curl up in your chest and doze off, thinking you were already asleep.
You also notice his passion about cleaning. Ever time it was something dirty or you didn't shower he would emmit huge amounts of 'squeaks' until you cleaned that thing.
"Geez you're a bit demanding arent you?" You giggled while rubbing the sink as he nodded in aproval or confirmation... you couldn't know.
You usually left him alone, but then one day you returned from work and the poor little thing was so scared that it did something you never once thought he would do. Hug any part of you that it could find.
This must meant that in that moment your own soulmate was suffering and your heart clenched at that as you brought Goldie to your cheek as you comforted him the best you could.
Ever since then he demanded to stay on your shoulder and go out along with you.
You were on the library and smiled at a client who went to talk with you for informations, although the male was only getting closer and then noticed the chibi on your shoulder glaring at him like he was about to rip his throat.
"Ah, so you got an soulmate I see." He talked as you giggled an yes "You know what? I dont quite believe those things, what about you and me go to a-" before the guy could finish his sentence Goldie hissed and literally grapped one book, despite being HUGE in comparation with him and hitted on the guy's face.
"WHAT THE FUCK-?!" The young male hissed as you grabbed Goldie in both of your hands as he patted his tiny hands and huffed, crossing his arms over his tiny little chest.
"I'm so sorry sir!" You whispered shouted as the guy left mumbling curses... one that especially caught on your heart strings.
"Quirkless bitch and stupid chibi little shit."
You immediately had your mood down as you tried to hold back the tears already in your eyes before you heard a squeak coming from your hands.
Goldie had a frown on his face before he mentioned for you to lift him up to your eye level only to surprise you with a sweet little kiss on each of your eyes. You immediatly smiled back amd rubbed your cheek with his as he grumbled.
"Aww you act all though but you're a softie on the end aren't you?" You cooed as the tiny male in your hands growled, despite having a pink on his tiny cheeks.
.
.
.
Thre months had passed and you heard your door bell ring. All the hopes that it was your soulmate rised on your chest only to fell as you only saw the mailman handing you a box.
Signing and thanking the worker, you closed the door and found Goldie nimbling on a cake you baked/bought it and you giggled at him, with how threatening he looked once but now looked aa the most adorable thing ever.
You put the box down on the middle of the room and started to open only to be freed aa Goldie touched one bare finger of it to help you.
"Look little guy! You like cleaning do you?" You picked the robot and turned it on, Goldie already on guard as if it was going to attack you "Its a romba! It's a little robot that cleans the floor!" You smiled down at the shock on his face before he climbed on the robot and rode it as it was a car or horse.
You never laughed so hard on your life, especially when Goldie used his foot hit the wall to make the romba go to the place he wanted to be clean.
.
.
.
You woke up with pokes in your cheek, groaning you saw Goldie, waving at you as you smiled and petted his head carefully.
He pointed to the calendar and you groaned. It was the day you needed to go out to buy groceries, looking at Goldie who only deadpanned at you.
"Do I need to?" He only huffed and crossed his arms as you rolled your eyes and prepared to go out.
.
.
.
You were asking for some Takoyaki before Goldie suddenly gone crazy. Getting up on your shoulder and squeaking loudly at some place on the market as you grabbed him on your hands when he almost fell on the floor.
"What?! Hey you're okay?" You tried to bring him close but he only jumped from your grip and ran away. Making you panick and ram after him I'm fear he could be stepped on.
The little guy was fast and even used his quirk to make a wave of concrete to carry him. He turned on an aisle and you almost losed it.
"GOLDIE!" you shouted before stopping abruptly when you saw the chibi of your soulmate on the ground, hugging close another chibi with (E/c) eyes and hair with the color of... wait... it was you! It was a chibi version of you! Hugging and kissing Goldie just as much as he was doing with them.
You gaped at the cuteness of the scene before you saw a male running towards your chibi version only to be stopped by the same reason as you did. The man was way taller than you imagined, and different from Goldie he weared a mask to hide half of his face.
You gaped at how beautiful the man was as his wide amber eyes looked back at your with the same shock.
You took hesitant steps as he did the same, both of you looking at each other as if you both had found a precious and unique treasure.
His eyes slowed went back to normal as he looked at you. You giggled at him making him arch his eyebrow, exactly like Goldie, making you laugh before putting a hand to cover your mouth.
"Sorey!" You said between giggles "Is just that... you act exactly like your chibi."
"Same goes for you." He looked at your chibi version and then back at you, extending one gloved hand at you.
"So, what is my soulmate's name?" He asked nonchantly but the glint of happines of his eyes was way too much evident.
"(L/n) (Y/n). And mine soulmate's name is..?"
"People call me Overhaul... but-" your hand interviewed and you felt all of your body go warm and fuzzy at the way he looked at you "You can call me by my real name. Chisaki Kai."
"Alright." You smiled before the both of your chibis versions squeaked as your soul- Kai. Kai zend a half glare at your chibi version.
"What is it now brat? You found m-"
"You called me brat?" You asked in false disbelief as he at her one eyebrow at you.
"A better name than Goldie." He shivered as you scoffed.
"Is a good name... Goldie." You smirked at him as he scoffed, holding your hand a bit tighter.
"Brat."
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hobidreams · 4 years ago
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Heyyy, sooo when I heard that BTS didn't win, I was so sad ; especially because we know the Grammys are using them for the money and to have people watch their show. Anyway, as I'm not American and I didn't really know how the Grammys worked, I searched on the Internet and I was kinda scared to find things that would confirm the accusations of racism/xenophobia about BTS losing the award. However, I feel like, from what I read, it doesn't seem like it ?? Like I can't tell for sure right but I wanted to know what u think about it cuz here's what I found (sorry if you already knew how it works) : there's the Recording Academy's voting members : songwriters, producers ect, who are in charge of voting for 2 things. First, the artists who get nominated and then the ones who win. Sooo my conclusion is that, they wouldn't have voted for them in the first place to get them nominated if it was really xenophobic, right ?
It kinda ease my mind to think that it's very much possible that it's just a matter of "Who they thought deserved it the most".
Just wanted to share this, sorry to bother and I wish u all the best with your writing ! ❤
Lots of love ❤
hi babe. i can tell youre coming from a good place. i don’t wanna burst your bubble & i’m usually all for looking on the bright side of things but in this case... im sorry but there definitely IS a selection bias.
the way i see it is that nominations are really just that. they’re not awards. if you ask me, the Recording Academy had a tremendous amount of pressure on them to do something for BTS. they’ve seen the power that BTS holds for getting viewers. they wanted to use that for their advantage. this is proven by the way they put BTS last because they KNEW their viewership would drop the second the boys finished performing. just look at how the viewercount of the youtube pre-show stream went from 1 mil -> 500k, literally HALVED, after the Pop Duo/Group award was announced. the Grammys have been losing viewership year after year, so they needed BTS’ starpower. yes the voting committee might be made of many people, but that doesnt mean a group of people cant be biased as they vote (see any political election ever). honestly the grammys are less actual awards & more like a huge marketing ploy lol. by nominating them, they had another excuse to put the boys in more marketing material. what im saying is they most definitely would have nominated BTS without ever having the intention of giving them the grammy. these two things are not correlated.
also, the thing is, you need to keep in mind that racist and xenophobic actions have been going on LONG before BTS were ever on the scene. i’ve seen too many people focus on BTS’ loss to the point that they seem to not even recognize that this is nothing new. even if the boys DID win, the grammys would STILL be xenophobic & racist. black artists in particular have been snubbed time and time again by the Grammys. what other reason could there be for not nominating The Weeknd for ANYTHING this year even though his song has been such a favorite on the charts all year? in 2019, after winning his grammy, Tyler the Creator spoke out about how they keep forcing black artists into the rap/urban categories even when they are clearly making pop. he explains it well here. it's like a consolation prize while they save the big awards for the white people. if you're not from America or another largely-white country, then you might not know that this is a typical attitude towards POC: uplift or hire or nominate one person to say "hey we're diverse!" while not actually making any real efforts to be inclusive.
also do notice that most of the POC artists that won awards did so on the non-televised portion of the night, and they were forced to endure the absolute garbage that was Bill Burr, butchering their names & joking about it. so im sorry. i cant agree with you even though i wish these award shows were so much better than they are too 😔 (thanks for the love & for asking my thoughts on the matter! 💗)
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spacefacedtragedy · 3 years ago
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Things ive learned after being homeless:
Cynical edition
1) Drugs will always be available, no matter where you are.
Companies truly cant stop it not because of lack of funds, but the money that comes into everyones pocket from people using. Everyone else benefits from your failure. Its better to stay away from the harder stuff because of that.
2) the paranoia will never go away.
Ive been in a stable home for 3 years and each day im still fighting the extreme caution and paranoia that kept me away from certain places while homeless. It kept me away from prettt extreme violence, but now its a hinderence. The fear of losing my home has almost lead to that exact thing happening.
3) Money will always be an issue
Even if youre making a livable wage, even if youre working full time, sometimes it will never be enough to stay alive. While homeless i worked two jobs, both of them switching between 20-50 hours a week. I couldnt even afford to apply for rent anywhere.
4) health issues will come up
After finally recieving medical care, Ive found out that being homeless only exasterbated my issues to the point i was worse off than my own mom. The amount of disabled people who are or become homeless is completely ridiculous. Without any help due to lack of funds, these people really are just rotting, being rejected.
5) No one person will actually help you get out
I went through so many homeless programs and assitances before i ended up where i am currently. I live with my partner, and hes the only reason i even have a home now. None of the programs i was in could help because everyone was so full. The issue is beyond anything that could be helped unless by federal intervention. Sometimes you have to accept that you may be kicked out before they can help.
6) Distrust will always be a thing
Getting back stabbed, being abandoned, those things were just common in homelessness. Me abandoning my stuff so i could keep walking, people back stabbing each other for drugs or food, you were almost expected to have nothing just so you could get help. People were more willing to take from you, even treating you like garbage, just because of your social status. A rich boy only has to worry about school bullies, a homeless boy has to worry about everyone. I cant look at anyone the same due to this.
7) Theres only a few ways out
The barrier to reform and survive is huge. You need several things to fall into place, like job hunting, housing, and just plain luck. Without a support group or people backing you, the barrier only increases. Thats why its so hard for anyone to get better, since theyre already facing a mountain. The only ways i know of actually working is finding someone who is willing to let you move in, finding a partner and working towards it together, or being able to find a job that will pay 3x rent costs that will hire.
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borat123 · 3 years ago
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NaruHina Analysis
Naruto Manga Part 1
Part 2
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Kiba tries to demoralise Naruto emotionally during their fight and Hinata thinks this. We see here how Hinata has watched how everyone treated Naruto for a very long time and has very deep empathy for him. She has an in depth analysis of his character and sees the true person inside and not a monster. No one in their age group feels this much empathy and understanding for him. She admires his strength and determination, she knows he is strong. She knows the effort involved in getting up when you are despaired. She knows that better than anyone and that’s why she admires Naruto, since she before this moment, wasn’t capable of doing the same thing.
Kishimoto shows us just how well Hinata understands Naruto and whos the most empathetic for him. Everyone else is starting to notice and acknowledge him NOW. Hinata has already acknowledged him waaaaay before this. Even with his flaws she still acknowledge the great person she sees inside. This is true love.
Naruto seeks acknowledgement and is willing to do anything to achieve it. But being an abused orphan his view on love is screwed and he thinks just gaining everyones respect and admiration is enough. And how will he achieve this? Well the Hokage has the highest amount of respect, right? If he becomes Hokage then everyone is forced to acknowledge his existance at last. But what he truly wants is for someone to care for him, acknowledge his true self and love him for who he is, he seeks this because he has never felt it and he wants it. To feel wanted and loved is what he desperately seeks the only way he knows how. Hinata is what Naruto wants, Kishimoto knows this, we know this, but Naruto doesn’t know it yet.
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Hinata gives Naruto some healing ointment. She wants to help him but her shyness is hard to overcome. With all her strength she manages to overpower it and holds out the healing ointment for him. Kurenai, being a matured adult and Shino’s observation capacity, inmediatly realize the true meaning behind Hinata’s gesture to Naruto. Naruto turns around to look at her immediatly when she said his name but he gets confused by her kind act. He simply cant believe that someone is nice to him.
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Naruto doesn’t understand why Hinata would give this to him. Kurenai helps in the awkward situation and encourages him to take it. It’s actually quite sad that Naruto reacts in this way. It shows just how foreign kind gestures towards him are. He accepts her gift, thanks her and calls her a nice girl. When he’s on his way we see him rub his hand on his back, which is a gesture someone usually does when you’re a little embarresed, but pleased. He also has a big smile on his face. He appreciated her gift and i think that it made him start to really like her. Naruto is not one to often tell someone what he really thinks about them, because he’s afraid people will find out about his insecurities (it’s why he has his tough guy bravado) but he calls her nice and he truly ment it. This is one of the first steps of Naruto’s subconscious love for her, her kindness towards him.
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Neji begins to demoralize Hinata, even before the fight has started.
Besides Neji’s hatred for her, she still sees him as a brother.
He makes a psychological analysis of Hinata. Her personality, insecurities and worries. Hinata reveals that she wants to change herself.
Look at Naruto’s reaction. He has the face of someone trying to hide his emotions (his eyes makes it seem like he doesn’t care that much) but he actually looks very serious. He knows how it feels like to want to change yourself. He is in a constant battle within himself for the same reason everyday of his life. Neji thinks that destiny cannot be changed. Both his and Hinata’s are already determined. And Hinata’s destiny says that she will always be a failure, no matter how much she tries to improve.
These words deeply affect Naruto, who sees himself reflected in Hinata. (Much like how he saw Haku as being like him, much like he’ll see Gaara as being like him, he sees part of himself in Hinata)
Neji continues to mentally attack Hinata, and we see how Naruto gets more and more angry. He cant bare to witness this situation in which he feels completly identified with Hinata.
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He tries to hold in his anger that is turning so intense that some of the kyuubi features start to appear (kyuubi lips). Seeing this girl that was so kind to him (wanted to help him in the written exam and gave him some healing ointment) and that he can now see himself reflected in being treated this badly makes him so angry that he’s literally shaking and his inner demon of hate is even leaking a little. He knows he cant interfere even though he clearly wants to so he has to hold it in....
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But he cant hold it in any longer and he finally explodes. He screams very loadly and tells her ”YOU CAN CHANGE, DONT LISTEN TO HIM”. He then shouts at Neji to stop decide things about people (her) and then encourage Hinata to fight back and stand up for herself, just like he would do. Hinata is mesmerised by Naruto’s sudden words of support and mentally gets herself together and thanks him for snapping out of her depressing state. One must ask themselves if Naruto was only focused on Neji, why did he directly address Hinata when he exploded ”YOU CAN”. It was Hinata he paid attention to, he saw her crying and knew she was in a similar situation as him because of Neji’s words. He also tells her to stand up for herself and fight back, he encourages her and supports her, he believes in her and he hasn’t even seen her fight yet. He’s probably the first to even support her at all actually.
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When Hinata’s attitude changes we see Naruto cheer for her with much more enthusiasm and intensity.
But when Hinata’s attack fails and she gets hit by the gentle fist instead, we see how Naruto gets very shocked and sad. Naruto is shown being distraught when things seem not to be going well.
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Neji tells her to forfeit, but Hinata is determined, she has adopted the same nindo as Naruto. Naruto thinks that if she gives up, it’s as if he does it too and he is admiting to all the people who call them failures they were right. He wants Hinata to prove this isn’t true. Then he sees her do just that while simultaneously using his own words. Every single day he coexist with people who considers him a failure that will never change. So when he sees Hinata adopting the same attitude as him just by his words, hes a goner. This created a huge impact on him. (Look at his face, he’s completly mesmerised by her (a common theme)).
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Naruto reveals that he never knew Hinata was this incredible. He went from thinking she was shy and weird, to then being kind and nice and to know being incredible. That shows how huge an impact this was on him. I find it nice that his peers are suddenly so supportive, Lee says he sees the similarities between them and Sakura even tells him that she has always been watching him. If even their peers notice how Hinata looks at Naruto then you know it’s something special. This is when Naruto really started to notice Hinata.
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Look closely at the top right picture of Naruto. You can just make out that he’s actually blushing. He probably thinks ”Why would Hinata be watching me?” But he doesn’t feel uncomfortable but rather intrigued as his emotions heightened.
Look at his reaction when she started to cough up blood. Everyone else didn’t react that much but Naruto looks on the verge of panic. His reactions are very similar to when he recognized that Haku was like him. But even more deeply.
That will be all for this part. Next part i’ll continue with the fight. Here is the previous part if you missed it.
Next part: Part 3
Part 1
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raceweek · 3 years ago
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Hey, I hope you don't mind me asking but you seem to have a established community on your blog and understanding of f1blr so hopefully you can give some thoughts on to this. I am unsure if it is because of the fandoms I've been part of previously and so I have certain expectations but since joining f1blr specifically, it seems to me that there is a lack of tagging happening in this area. For example just tagging one driver and not the others in the post or their girlfriends, or tagging a driver and it being hate towards them or just otherwise improperly tagged posts. I wonder if this is the same in your experience or not? It makes it hard to look through tags when suddenly there is something irrelevant or content I've blocked but hasn't been tagged and now I see it?
I'm sorry this is long, English is not my first language and I don't know to make it shorter. Thank you
hi!! absolutely don’t mind you asking!!
i haven’t been in too many fandoms other than sports so i can’t really compare like you can but f1blr for sure has a fair amount of different i guess attitudes to tagging? i cant speak on behalf of others but i think some people don’t want their posts to show in the tags or don’t want to have a tagging system which is their choice - the main reason i have a tagging system is so other people can filter out things they don’t want to see or are maybe triggering to them
my one huge piece of advice (especially if the lack of tags is affecting you) is to block people who aren’t tagging drivers/content you don’t want to see or posting hate you don’t want to see or at least filter their urls - i have well over 100 maybe 200 blogs blocked at this point and it makes things a lot easier<3
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just-a-fangirl13 · 4 years ago
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Why s5 *might* be the season MacRiley happens
Okay so...Hear me out! I'm not crazy I promise!!
Firstly, after 5x03 (and probably 5x04) it may seem very unlikely that MacRiley could ever happen. But I thought of a few reasons why they might actually happen by the end of s5 after all.... (it gets a lil long winded and kinda complicated but just stick with me till the end!)
1. All the MacRiley moments including the ones in 5x03.
[this Mac smile could not be an accident or something that slipped through both production and post-production right?! that in itself is a whole reason!]
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Every Macriley moment we have ever had- whether it's the hugs, Riley saving Mac, Mac saving Riley, the ultimate show of loyalty when Riley went after Mac during Codex or even just the looks exchanged between the two- to any outsider it would seem pretty obvious that they are dating or at least in love. Keep in mind the writers would have written each of those scenes and Lucas and Tristan have acted them out with a specific build up in mind aka MacRiley.(think about the date episode: Riley just got dumped but was still thinking about how Mac might be hungry. She didnt have to do that. She could have just shown up at his place..) I mean how can they write two people so perfectly in sync and so perfect for each other and not have them end up together? It would just be a waste of all that tension and slow burn. (not to mention all the hugs and glances)
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2. They know we exist. 
The MacRiley fam is very active on twitter with the writers and while they were writing 5x01 they knew we were around. They know we are a huge group. They would not want to risk pissing 90% of the fandom off by not making MacRiley endgame.
[P.S.yes 5x03 was a bait and switch but if you were paying attention you would have noticed that neither Lucas not Tristan live tweeted or hyped up the episode. They knew we would probably hate it so they didnt publicise it too much! so in the future if you have doubts about the episode being a MacRiley one just check their stories or posts on twitter/intstagram]
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3. Yes 5x03 happened. 
I really think it was an episode they HAD to write. Ok so after 4x13 they had 7 more episodes planned and were filming 4x20 (aka the finale) when the pandemic struck. So they have these 6 episodes but no finale for it. [Idk if anyone else has noticed but in 5x01 there were clearly some parts cut out. For example the conversation between Desi and Riley towards the end seemed a bit jilted. Riley asking Desi to forgive her but Desi replied with yeah we are cool (still no apology ofc) I feel like something happened during that which ended up getting cut out so it could fit with the final story.]
This makes me think that they have rewritten a few bits to tie into the new finale episode. In 5x03 when Mac asked Desi to come fishing with him which was clearly something very personal to him she was like no do better.. then we see Mac's disappointed expression. She could have easily said okay but maybe not for our first date? Or its not really my thing? Or just about anything else rather than laughing in his face like that. Eventhough MD is together they still arent compatible. Mac’s final words in 5x03 was him being desperate. I truly think he is so broken and lost that Desi is the only safe thing left, the only thing he feels like he can fix right now. Once he finds himself again and heals...then it's going to hit him like a pile of bricks!!
4. But Riley doesn't have feelings anymore...WELL doesnt she? 
When it comes to Mac, Riley is always in denial. We saw it in s4 when she tells Bozer not to make her say it. I think s5 will show her finally accepting it. Finally accepting that she is in love with her best friend and that it definitely isnt Codex adrenaline because she caught the feels when Codex wasnt even around. While Mac's arc would include realising he and Desi are never going to work and that he is unhappy and that RILEY is the one for him.
[why else would they give Riley feelings for Mac? Something has to come of it.]
5. The slow burn rule.[this point is a lil complicated] 
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Now season 5 is rumoured to have 13 episodes. So here’s what I think: If MacGyver follows the pattern that most shows do when it comes to slow burns, then technically MacRIley should have happened at the end of season 4. But since the season got cut short and they didnt get to air/finish their final episode the writers had to improvise. 
From what I know, 4x19 which is 5x04 for us is the episode where Mac meets Desi’s parents and 4x20 was supposed to be the finale that was left unfinished.(they are definitely moving the timeline ahead if a pre finale episode is suddenly a mid season one.) There might have been a 4x21 or 4x22 but I haven't heard anything about those....EVER.
So what I think they have decided to do instead is extend the MD storyline a bit longer just so they dont end up scrapping all their s4 episodes where they would be together and write a new finale that ties everything together, aka MacRiley.
If you think about episode counts, s4 and s5 together would have 26 episodes which is a how long a normal season runs. Basically what im trying to say is if we follow the ‘slow burns end by s4’ and take season 5 as an extension of 4 then MacRiley should get together in the season 5 finale or maybe the episode just before. (IM REALLY TRYING TO GET SOME LOGIC INTO THIS)
This would be a typical TV thing too where the couple finds out about each other’s feelings while the main arc of the show is also at its peak, which perfectly sets up a future season where fans are hyped but still has a satisfying ending.
6. So what about MacDesi?
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So far the macgyver writers have given us characters we love. Think of every character on the show apart from maybe Desi... Mac, Riley, Bozer, Jack, Matty, Leanna, Samantha, Russ and even Murdoc. WE LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. So then why is Desi such a strange character? I think shes purposely been written as an opposite to Mac or even Riley (I get she’s supposed to kinda replace Jack but Jack is really irreplaceable). 
It's not necessarily a bad thing its just not a great thing to do or have great execution. People have said things like Desi is a badass and shouldnt have to apologise or say I love you back to her boyfriend because she is a strong woman...I'm sorry but your opinion of who a strong woman is, is EXTREMELY skewed. A strong woman is someone who can make mistakes and when she does, she is ‘strong’ enough to own up to it, she is loyal and fierce and also caring while being a badass who can take down bad guys. And for GODS SAKE, RILEY DAVIS IS A STRONG WOMAN...people have called her mushy and feminine on twitter and I'm just very confused by that.....
Anyways before I go off on a rant, it seems like Desi is intentionally being written this way. Every opportunity they get to redeem her and make her more relatable or just a better person they just dont take it. While Rileys character arc is one of the best I've ever seen. Either its intentional or they’ve forgotten how to write characters...which is worrisome but ill give them the benefit of the doubt.
The writers also know we dont like Desi. The amount of times we've tagged them in the toxic posts or pointed out problematic things we can be sure they've seen at least half of those. So theres no way they dont know. RIGHT?
So why then is MD still a thing you may ask??
Well for one they cant break them up again off screen because of those unreleased s4 episodes. (not to mention the other parts of the audience who arent as invested in mac’s love life would probably be very confused.)
Secondly Mac has to be the one to pull the plug, not Desi. 4x13 made it seem like Desi was the annoyed one not Mac. He apologised to her which meant he wanted to fix things. 
Thirdly, they are opening the chpt one last time before they permanently close it. MD is going to be a stark contrast to macriley(it already is in every way possible). Every issue Mac and Desi had can be used to show how amazing macriley really is as two people who arent even dating yet.
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Fourthly, MD being together is a sort of commentary on Macs mental health as well. We can see how happy he is with Riley but around Desi he becomes some one else. If the writers are doing this on purpose or subconsciously still remains to be seen.
And Yes keeping MD around for a few more episodes seems like a necessary risk right now but I have a feeling its going to be worth it later.
[I know we have had like 4 desi entered episodes already but I really think 5x04 will be the last of it since 5x05 is the Jack episode and 5x06 is Mac+Riley+Bozer episode with no mention of Desi at all!]
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The writers know we are a dedicated bunch and they know that once MD breaks up for the last time the entire fandom will be waiting and watching. That's when the show will be at its peak. That will be the perfect moment to bring in MacRiley’s arc to a new start!
Congrats if you stuck with me through this whole thing! if you agree/disgaree with any of these or have other reasons why they could be endgame in s5 let me know!!
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cookiesandkatanas · 4 years ago
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I've always had Big Thoughts about Smith and how being/presenting male was a huge detriment to the whole "picking up vulnerable people and drowning them" thing. People are gonna be suspicious of a 6 foot guy trying to get you in his car.
So here are some of my headcanons that answer this issue
a kelpie's true form is a horse adjacent creature. you know, the creepy waterlogged #fae horses.
young kelpies first learn glamours for the anatomically similar horse, but the ability to shape reality in relation to themselves is powerful, as it is in most water fae. Theyll soon be able to shift their entire physical form, not just the perception of it. Of course, the next most natural form is a horse. And to interact with humans beyond hunting, well, you gotta look like a human.
Any glamour or form a kelpie takes is basically a costume, the individual is *choosing* how to look
SHAPESHIFTERS ARE ALWAYS NONBINARY
(personal aside, I've been off T for a while and god I feel like a completely different PERSON so) different bodies literally affect Smith's personality, to an extent.
femme!Alex loves the mind games. She prefers to toy with people, both for her own amusement, and if they're prey, well, their emotional high of fear is one more tasty thing she gets to munch on when she finally drowns them. Her favorite food is emotional energy.
femme!Alex pros: seeks out people already leading chaotic lives, and her clean drownings mean she can usually make a pretty penny selling a body nobody will even be looking for for a few days.
Trott is convinced since shes always feeding off all that riled up emotional energy, shes more riled up and emotional. He swears shes more impulsive, more sexual.
masc!Smith lives for the pleasures of the flesh. food and fucking, and for him, they're one and the same. he wouldnt be able to tell you which he liked more, feeding on the sexual energy before the drowning, or the flesh and blood he ate afterwards
masc!Smith pros: usually content with smashing stuff/someone up, no patience or interest in making up and playing out drawn out political games for fun. Intimidating presence. More in tune with the water (the local water fae hate when they're Alex, she always says she'll visit but she NEVER does >:c
Trott doesnt like how Smith always runs hot, temper or sex drive or energy.
History:
True name: Alsmiffy. Got to the city in early 1900s, before cars are common. They had to get a job to pay for a place to live, and only men could do that, so human male form it was. Kelpies dont really have a concept of gender, so Alsmiffy doesnt mind their pronouns matching their current form. In the evenings it was still easy to hunt down by the river as a horse.
By the 40s horses had nearly disappeared from the city, and no one was approaching wild ones anymore. Smith started working as a taxi chauffeur, driving people about, drowning a few every so often.
In the 60s they started moving towards the hunting style of present day, using the lure of sex to draw in prey. This is when they started presenting as female more regularly.
Of course, Trott gets fed up with all the shit Alsmiffy pulls. But always wrongly blames it on their form. If Alex is impulsive and sexual, and Smith is hot headed and hot blooded, maybe the issue isnt the body, it's the person, lmao.
As Alsmiffy becomes more comfortable male and female presenting, they spend longer amounts of time in one body or the other. Trott finds some reason or other to ask them to change ("hey can you seduce ___?" or "hey can you be extra muscle at ___?") and they're usually too indifferent to shift back.
As this goes on, Alsmiffy is cultivating two different social circles worth of court favor, but only one at a time, and usually only one for weeks at a time. The sharper and more well connected people put together that the siblings manage some other affairs out of the city, and whatever it is cant be left alone for very long, because one or the other is always out there. Rumors fly wildly about what it may be.
The Troffy Feels
In present day, Alsmiffy has started to realize Trott resents both of their regular human bodies. Instead of addressing the issue of Alsmiffy leaving chaos behind them, Trott postpones the issue again and again by derailing Alsmiffy's focus whenever their collateral damage gets too much. Trott's resentment only grows because the issue keeps coming up, and Alsmiffy just gets increasingly aggressive requests to "go get your 'brother/sister'"
Of course, because its Alsmiffy, this is the gravest of insults and must be responded to as a challenge. (You dont like me now? Oh you'll see how bad I can be.) As time wears on, they start to take it more and more personally, and it becomes the spectre hanging over their relationship.
Ross, who joined them in 60s-80s (not sure exactly when yet) never saw their relationship any other way, and has no other reference for relationships, tries his best to talk them down individually. It doesnt always work, and he usually clears out when they're all together, to give them some time and space to talk things out. (Trott and Alsmiffy both resent the other for always escalating arguments to the point where Ross wont even be in the same room as them)
Despite it all, Trott and Alex have never touched each others' keys/skin. All three of them tell themselves that means they're okay, they wouldnt cross that line so they still respect each other, still love each other. On the worst days that feels like the only assurance they have.
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All these headcanons are being refined thanks to my ongoing Urban Shadows game, a ttrpg made by Magpie Games, run on Powered by the Apocalypse.
It is such a great game, even if you're not adapting it to run umy, lmao. The team is working on 2nd edition out later this year, but a quick start version is out now and I'm p sure it's free on drivethruRPG
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