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#a home made meme right here
snobgoblin · 2 years
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Johnny's mom is named Bunny don't worry
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machidielontheway · 3 months
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Eating cherries and feeling like summer
#3615 my life#although yesterday i had a tshirt#a thin long sleeved shirt above#and a fleeced sweatshirt above.#it's the middle of june and it's so fucking cold !!#i have a very fond memory about cherries#when i was around 12 i think ? something like that#biking in the village street and there was this cherry tree whose branchs were going a bit over the wall onto the street#and so i had stopped and was eating the cherries i plucked from it#like sitted on my standing bike right under the cherry tree branchs#and this old lady living in the house of the tree saw me and i thought she was going to tell me off#but actually she went like 'help me get all those cherries from the tree and i'll give you some !'#it's been very very long ago#but i think i went up into the tree to get the cherries down to her#(the dip of the Y shape of the tree wasn't very high#so as a teen i could mostly easily do it)#and then i biked home with a plastic bag full of cherries#it feels a bit dreamy so i don't know if all part are true or if i changed things to it each time i remember it#but this is really such a nice memory. childhood adventure with a kind stranger given treasure to go home#thank you old lady from a long time ago this makes me happy still decades past.#yeah yeah insert 'are you crying' meme here.#also i used the 'vinegar to keep fruits fresh longer in your fridge' post !#they're done drying now so the ones i don't gobble up in the next few minutes will go into the jar(s)#a spoiled cherry i left out yesterday was all moldy this morning*#(morning : 4pm)#it's incredible how fast it goes#which made me actually sort the cherries i had just left in the brown bag and put into the fridge#quite a few were already spoiled alas#but now i know how to do it and to do it quick and it's really super easy#we'll see how they fare in the next few days
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smth smth i would marry sahba no matter what smth
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paragonrobits · 8 months
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some important calvin and hobbes facts in case you haven't read the original comic strip in a long time or only absorbed stuff on it from memes and out of context bits on here:
Calvin's last name has never been given, and neither has any of his parent's names. This was actually why his uncle Max only showed up for a brief storyline; the creator of the comic, Bill Watterson, ultimately felt that while it was fine to have him as someone for his parents to talk to, it felt far too awkward to never have Max refer to them by name and he never made a return appearance.
The general tone of the comic is fairly light-hearted, with a big emphasis on goofy slapstick comedy contrasted by clever wordplay and often surprising adult-centered jokes that'll hit you like a slap. A big part of the comedy is, as Watterson put it (paraphrased) "It's really funny to me when people express deeply stupid ideas with really fancy terminology." One notable example you might have seen is that one bit where Calvin asks his mom for money to buy a Satan-worshiping rock album and his mom replies that there's nothing genuine about them and they're just putting on the attitude for shock value, and comisserates with Calvin as he deplores that mainstream nihilism can't be trusted. He concludes that childhood is disillusioning.
There is a LOT of criticism of the extreme materialism and selfish mentality of the late 80s, when the comic was initially written. This may go a long way to explain how its aged so well; much of what it criticizes resonates well with people today.
Bill Watterson views comic strips a legitimate form of artwork, and repeatedly fought to have more space to draw more beautiful and artistic backgrounds, which was a very hard fight and unpopular even with other comic strip artists. He eventually did win some compromises and a lot of Calvin And Hobbes' artwork shows it, with the use of space to indicate time as well as a sharp contrast between the often plain environments of mundane life contrasted by the wildly beautiful imagery of Calvin's imagination (which often sports realistic depictions in an art shift of sorts).
Hobbes is explicitly not an imaginary friend, by word of Watterson himself. We don't know WHAT he is exactly, and Hobbes is apparently unaware of the strange nature of his reality; people look at him and only see an ordinary stuffed tiger plushie, but he has a tangible effect on the world that would be physically impossible for Calvin to do on his own. He's apparently been around for a while, and was apparently around when Calvin was a young baby.
On that note; Hobbes has implicitly killed (notably treated as both a gag and also with the vibe of 'he's a tiger, duh') and while he doesn't do it again on-screen, he doesn't have any moral issues about it. Calvin claims that he's never had trouble bringing Hobbes to school because the last time he did, Hobbes killed and ate a bully named Tommy Chestnut and simply comments that it was gross and he needed a bath. Calvin's tried to repeat this again, but Hobbes was grossed out at the thought having to eat a kid raw and not being allowed to use an oven first, or complaining that children are too fattening.
Hobbes became gradually less human-like in body language and more like an actual cat in both body language and behavior; this was due to Watterson drawing more inspiration from his cat, who also inspired a lot of Hobbes' running gags, such as pouncing on Calvin when he got home. Several years into the syndication of the strip, Watterson's cat passed away, and he did a tribute to her with a comic strip of the two of them agreeing to try to dream together so they can keep playing when they have to sleep; Watterson's commentary (if I recall right), remarks on his cat: "We can see each other again in dreams."
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islandsaoirse · 1 year
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Realized the Why Are You Gay interview meme happened specfically in Uganda.
I’m not from the region but seeing the meme into the recent very bad laws that made news around the world, I feel I just had a fucking flash of how shit just kept getting worse from the point that meme dropped to now. I don’t like that.
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trashbaget · 1 year
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#feeling UNFUCKINGWELL#UGH!!!!! yall—#the shit is just getting to me today#the horrors are winning right now and i’m really unhappy about it#i finally catch a goddamn break and live in 2 weeks of hopeful contentment and then#then bullshit#like honestly what the actual fuck#this has easily been the longest two days of my entire life#i went from#did i miss a goddamn meme or something?? bc those words just suggested sooooo many wackass tags i did not write lafheldks#gave me a much needed giggle#but still the horrors. they’re whelming.#here let me give yall the fuckin Details right#so i’m at work on saturday and i’m having a good time despite the fact i’m dead tired and exhausted and have to go grocery shopping when all#i want is to be at home. i go home feeling good because i’ve had a job for 2 weeks now after being turned down left and right and front and#back and sideways for eight fucking months. i’d just talked with a work friend (that’s right! i’d already made friends! i was feeling good!)#about getting more uniform shirts bc obviously i’m riding on this being a longterm thing. i text my boss the next morning asking if i could#get some more. hours later i find email notifications alerting me that she has wiped my hours from the schedule. i think it is odd and give#it a little time for her to add me new shifts bc she’d left one in. hours more pass and no response so i text her about it. i’d JUST had a#conversation with her a few days before about needed so many hours and not just 2 shifts so i was already like wtf?? and then. she has the#audacity to wait until 9pm to respond and this is what she says:#I am really sorry that I have to do this over text and I’m just sorry in general for the inconvenience after this weekend the owner has#out and told me that we might just not be the right fit for a job I’m really sorry I hate do this. I wish you nothing but the best and I#will let you know when your tips are ready and when your next paycheck will be in. —like????? wtf??? is this a shitty high school breakup??#first of all. this was just insurmountably unprofessional and inconsiderate. she gave me NO reasons and didn’t even really Say hey you’re#being let go and left it up to me to follow the clues like i’m in the fucking scooby doo gang??? and girlypop who the fuck do you think ur#playing with ‘your next paycheck’ shit?? THIS IS MY FIRST FUCKING ONE!! and no one ever explained to me when i was supposed to get it!! and#i got nothing but further confusing answers whenever i asked. so um. fuck this fucking place. good god. it’s just really really gross#i told her i want to have a talk with them about their excuses for firing me bc this is bullshit. still haven’t fucking heard about that.#except for a ‘yeah sure we can do that.’ like bitch. tell me when. give me something. ANYTHING. i am fucking cracking—
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darnell-la · 1 month
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Can you do a follow up with the project x!wolverine x government employee!reader (it can be smut or not I just really like that story)
𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗕𝗘𝗔𝗦𝗧 𝗕𝗥𝗢𝗞𝗘 𝗢𝗨𝗧 (ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴛᴡᴏ)
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pairing: project x!logan howlett x government employee!reader
warnings: tied up, trapped, sniffing, hunting down, roughly fucked against a tree, pinned, choking, “dragged” through the woods, fucked on the patio, ass slapping, hair pulling, etc.
note: we will be making a part three where they contact Charles's school for mutants to warn them about the government, but the government hacked into their call and found out where Logan was hiding out and keeping y/n.
Logan will be more sweet in the next one as y/n grows out of the fear of him.
follow our Instagram @ darnell.la so we can start posting random videos, photos, edits, and memes of the people we write about!
———
when y/n woke up, she was dangling from the ceiling by her wrists. It took her a while to realize, she was in a basement full of big freezers and sinks. For a second, she thought she was going to be cut up and frozen to feed to whoever until she saw a man sitting on the stairs, leading upstairs.
“W-Where am I?” Y/n said, voice coming out lower than she expected it to. “Home,” the man spoke before getting up. He came out of the light, now shaking off the figure.
He was shirtless, yet had jeans on. Her heart skipped a beat, and she didn’t know why. Was it because Project X had her tried up in god knows where, or was it the fact she could see all of his chest?
He was sweaty, hairy, ripped, muscles flexed every once in a while, veins popping from his skin and smooth.
“It’s passed midnight, but I bet you’re hungry. Went to the store then cooked us up some food,” he spoke as her eyes traveled all over his body. She felt like she was in a trance.
“Up here, princess,” his voice was closer. She didn’t notice how close he was until his fingers lifted her chin. Even though her feet were a few inches from the ground, he was still towering over her.
“You hungry?” He asked with a head tilt. “Let me go,” she spoke, not knowing what else to say. “No,” he spoke back, voice sounding stern. She could hear the seriousness behind his tone.
“And if you try runnin’ you’ll regret it,” he said, body now touching hers. Y/n quickly went to kick him right between his legs, but he knew what was coming. He surprised her by pulling her leg to the side of his waist. She went to use the other, but he did the exact same thing.
“Relax, princess,” the man smirked down at her as she tried wiggling away, but doing so made her cunt rub up and down his clothes length. She prayed he wouldn’t notice, but he felt the wet spot soaking into his jeans.
“If you act good, I’ll fix that for you,” the man whispered in her ear, pulling her body closer to his. Y/n held bad the whine she almost let out. What was he doing to her?
Logan eventually pulled back and walked to the corner of the room to lower her rope. He then walked back over to the girl as she looked down, not knowing what to say or do to the man.
He wasn’t giving off any type of serial killer vibes. He didn’t seem like he wanted to do any kind of killing. A part of her felt saved than she’d ever had, especially because of her job, but she felt off just letting this man win what he wanted. And that was her.
After y/n’s hands dropped from the ropes, she lifted her knees and connected with his groin. The man fell to the ground in pain as she pushed past him, running up the stairs.
The slightly frightened girl ran towards the front door, thinking she was free until she noticed a device on the lock that needed a code. “Fuckin’ hell,” she shouted before running around the rest of the house to find another way.
“You ain’t gettin’ outta here, bub!” Logan yelled from downstairs, finally getting up from the ground. You would think a mutant like him wouldn’t feel that pain, but he did.
Y/n panicked, thinking she was doomed until she had an idea. A stupid one which she slightly felt bad for doing but she did it anyway.
“Son of a bitch!” Logan finally made it up the stairs to the sound of glass breaking. She was out and running for her life, knowing he’d be furious about his genitals and glass.
Y/n ran as fast as she could through the woods, a bit terrified of the dark and animal noises, but the real animal was back at that house. He is an animal, right? That’s what they said he was.
Y/n had stopped after a few minutes to catch her breath. He’s never been the kind to run.
As she rested, she looked down at her feet, swing scratches and blood, but she’d get over it. She needed to get away.
As the young woman went to take a step to continue, she heard a noise behind her. She quickly looked back but saw nothing. Maybe it was a squirrel or something, she thought.
Y/n turned back around to start walking until he saw the view of an angry Logan in her face. “Where ya goin, bub?” He asked. Y/n instantly screamed at his presence.
Before she could move, the man tangled her to the ground, pushing his hand down the middle of her back to pin her into the dirt.
“No!” Y/n fought in anger, thinking she was actually going to escape. “When I said no, you ain’t listen, now didn’t you?” The man said through his teeth as he forced her to dress up.
“Logan, please! N-Not out here, not out here!” She begged, thinking people would be able to hear this scene going on and go and check, just to see her getting drilled into the ground.
“No one’s out here, princess. Not for another mile or so — You’re all mine out here,” the evil low laugh he let out as he pulled his jeans down was insane. He hadn’t even pulled himself out of his boxers. He wanted to take his time with her out here.
Y/n tried kicking her legs, but what was the point? He could smell her leaking down her folds. He knew she wanted this, and he was going to make her understand.
“I said, no!” Y/n shouted as she swung her elbow back as hard as she could, making him fall back. Y/n crawled away, but only a few inches to look back at him. The fear that grew inside of her was unbelievable.
Logan‘s jaw was dislocated. She popped his jaw.
Y/n’s words got stuck in her throat. She wanted to apologize as the man slowly looked up. He didn’t mean to hurt him. She’s not like that.
Before she could open her mouth, Logan popped his jaw back in place with his hand before moving it around to make sure it was normal.
“You fucked up, bub,” the man said before crawling towards her. It didn’t even look like a crawl. How did he do that? Logan lifted the girl up by her neck and pinned her to the closest tree.
“Ow!” She cried out, feeling the tree bark scratched her ass through her thin and silky nightgown. God, she needed to change soon.
“Logan, ow!” She hoped he’d have sympathy for her, but the way his eyes looked, he was far from it. He wanted to teach her a lesson, and that’s what he was doing.
“N-No, no!” She pushed at the man’s hand, but that did nothing. He ripped her nightgown off like a strand of hair. “Logan!” She shouted, feeling the breeze on her body until his body rubbed against hers.
“You’ve been a bad girl,” Logan growled as he pulled himself out of his jeans. “I don’t like that,” he had as he shifted up and between y/n’s legs until they were lifted off of the ground. Her toes barely touched the dirt.
“I-I can't, Logan,” y/n remembered how he fucked her the last time, and he wasn’t even angry at her. Logan let out a chuckle that he soon cut off after he slammed up into her cunt.
Y/n cried loudly as her arms gripped his shoulders. Logan stared directly at her, his face seemed too serious to look at. He was angry. Very angry. But why? It’s not like the pop in his jaw hurt like any other thing her went through?
“P-Please,” she choked as he pushed her neck into the tree harder, just to get a reaction out of her. “Shut the fuck up,” the man said like the tree wasn’t about to break or come out of the ground from how hard he was pounding into her.
“I can’t,” she whined in pain, but too much pleasure to not tighten around him. The way she squeezed him, egged him on further.
“Oh, you can’t? Does it look like a give a fuck? Huh!? Does it!?” He spat as his pelvis roughly slapped against her clit. She couldn’t think straight. This man was fucking her like some wild animal in the woods. She’s literally being fucked by an animal in the woods.
“F-Fuuuck,” y/n dragged with a broken moan. Logan let her neck go and used both of his hands to grip and hold onto her legs, keeping her up and against the tree, not caring how much she scratched at his shoulders and chest.
The man growled in her ear, cock slipping in and out of her entrance as her asshole puckered. He was huge and slagging around like he wasn’t.
Y/n couldn’t say, but her broken cry warned him she was cumming, and when she did, it was hard. “Goddamnit — Fuck,” the man grunted, pinning his feet to the ground to keep up his hard abuse.
“So fuckin’ good — Fuck!” The man couldn’t keep himself together as his nails dug, into her thighs. Y/n was now crying, not because she was scared, but because of the overstimulation followed by a thrust that wouldn’t slow down.
“Yeah? Yeah, is that the spot, baby?” He asked, knowing it was. “Think this is over just because you came? Think ima stop because you’re drunk on my cock? How did that go last time?”
The girl shook her head, half ass answering his questions. “So cute,” the man chuckled before pulling y/n off of the treat and throwing her over his shoulder to give her a small break.
He wanted his fresh meet alive and functioning when he fucked filled her up. Last time he didn’t get that chase, but he swore to god he would this time.
Because she ran so far, he had to walk it, giving y/n some time to come to life. “Lo-“ y/n cut herself off, still having trouble speaking, but held herself well enough for him to understand.
“No more,” she begged, but he wasn’t having it. “Please, no more,” she begged again as she noticed him passing his car parked several feet from his cabin.
“Logan!” She shouted, now kicking and screaming again. The man grew angry but wanted to take her to the bedroom for what he was about to lay on her.
“Logan!” She shouted, gripping onto the side of his house which was a long wooded stand. “Y/n, stop it!” He let her down with a shout as he began pulling her, but she wouldn’t budge and he didn’t want to accidentally rip her arms off.
“No!” She screamed before he finally pulled her off, causing her to fall on the front steps in front of his house. The way she fell and landed on her hands and knees made him say, fuck it.
“You wanna be fucked like an animal? Fine,” he said as he came up behind her, pulling his cock back out before plunging into her, earning a scream that made him know he hit the right spot instantly.
Logan grew an evil smile across his face as he tugged on her hair, making her arch her back before slapping at her ass, causing her to bruise lightly.
“Little sluts get treated like slut, y/n. You could’ve be fucked nice and sweet on the bed earlier, but no — You wanna run,”
Y/n’s mouth slacked as her eyes crossed from how hard the man was pounding on her. “You see that, bub? Look right up there, right into that camera,” he forced her to look at his security.
“Gonna tie you down and make you watch how dumb you look on my dick,” the man spat, making y/n feel the burn in her eyes, but not from embarrassment. From too much pleasure.
“Yeah — Yeah,” the man repeatedly groaned as y/n squeezed him with a shake in her body. “So fuckin’ pathetic, I might have to give you back,” Logan said, knowing he’d never do such a thing. “Nah,” he added drill in her head that she ain’t goin’ nowhere.
ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏɴᴇ / ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏɴᴇ, sᴍᴜᴛ ᴏɴʟʏ
ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ
ᴘᴀʀᴛ ғᴏᴜʀ ᴄᴏᴍɪɴɢ sᴏᴏɴ...
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fandom · 10 months
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Top 23 of 2023
Have you been aching to get your hot little hands on 52 weeks of data around original posts, likes, reblogs, and searches, all weighted and ranked and tied up into categories with a nice little bow on top? Well, today’s your day! It should come as no surprise that Artists on Tumblr reign supreme: from stunning traditional art, jaw-dropping digital art, fanart, sculptures, textile art—you name it, basically—this year’s list shows that Tumblr truly is the home for art and artists. Thank you, Artists on Tumblr, for enriching our dashboards day after day. 
Rounding out the top three, we have two iconic shows: Good Omens is live-action, and The Owl House is animated, but both have a heck of a love story at their core. The second season of Good Omens blessed us with not one but two ineffably exquisite ships, while the final season of The Owl House broke and then healed fans’ hearts in equal measure. Thanks, @danaterrace! Actually, come to think of it, the Good Omens finale kinda did the same in reverse. Thanks to you, too, @neil-gaiman! We can’t wait for season 3. 
Speaking of heartbreak and healing, Our Flag Means Death’s second season offered both in droves. The entire cast gave stellar performances, and fans couldn’t have been happier to see the kinds of representation the show displayed. Last year’s #1 topic, Stranger Things, may have dropped a bit, but trust us, you wouldn’t know it from the amount of meta, fanart, and fics in the tag. And did you hear about the live-action adaptations of both The Last of Us and One Piece? They were a preeeetty big deal this year, too. Check ‘em out if you haven’t yet (lol, of course you have). And we’d be remiss not to mention the hugely dedicated fans, fanartists, and fic writers devoting their time to all things Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Y’all deserve a little pizza, as a treat.
2023 was also a year for blockbuster movies, which of course hasn’t escaped anybody’s notice here on Tumblr. Barbie smashed box offices worldwide and left us reeling with every re-watch. How can one describe Greta Gerwig’s pink-filled opus? It certainly is one of the movies of all time. Meanwhile, with its incredible animation and soundtrack, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse introduced us to a whole new multiverse of Spider-People, opening the portal to a veritable flood of incredible OCs. And then, of course, we got a fresh perspective on an old classic when cinephiles introduced Martin Scorscese’s cinematic masterpiece, Goncharov (1973), to a new generation of film aficionados who resoundingly agree that it is, in fact, the greatest mafia movie ever made. We’re so glad this underrated film finally got the acclaim it has long deserved.
In the realms of gaming and tech, the long-anticipated Baldur’s Gate 3 has basically become everyone’s new favorite D&D/dating sim combination. Of course, the Pokémon franchise, games, shows, and Hatsune Miku collabs remain perennial favorites. Elon Musk’s purchase of Twitter, sorry, we mean of course X, made waves across the internet. Similarly, the Reddit blackout drove Redditors to new venues, and Tumblr users welcomed the folks from r/196 with open arms—we’re huge fans of your memes, y’all, and you fit right in. Welcome, we’re glad you enjoy the chaos. Here’s a fun fact: if we included post metadata in Year in Review rankings, #polls, introduced in January of 2023, would have been the #5 topic on Tumblr this year. Phenomenal. 
And, oh right. Taylor Swift had kind of a big year, what with the albums, the epic global tour, and the movie and stuff. Fantastic work, @taylorswift, the Swifties on Tumblr thank you for everything.
This is Tumblr’s Year in Review.
Artists on Tumblr
Good Omens
The Owl House
Barbie
Pokémon
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
Critical Role
Goncharov
Taylor Swift
Genshin Impact
Stranger Things
The Last of Us
Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Elon Musk
196
Star Wars
Our Flag Means Death
Crowley | Good Omens
LGBTQ
Cottagecore
Baldur's Gate 3
One Piece
Aziraphale | Good Omens
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arieslost · 6 months
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loudest in the paddock | cl16
summary: you’re charlie’s biggest fan.
word count: 1,013
warnings: suggestive comments at the end, possible bad writing (apologies in advance if this ends up being true)
masterlist — join my tag list here!
© arieslost 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.
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being charles leclerc’s girlfriend is a badge of honor that you wear with pride, and you love to make it known to everyone, whether there’s a camera on you or not.
the fans have a field day with all of your reactions that get captured on camera during race weekends, to the point where charles has a folder on his phone that is home to a number of memes that they’ve made of you. you just get easily excited, and clips of you yelling about something, whether good or bad, have gone viral on many separate occasions.
things are a little different this race. since the moment max’s brakes caught fire and then exploded as he was coming into the pit lane, you’ve been laser focused on the fact that your boyfriend’s teammate is in the lead, with your boyfriend himself only a couple seconds behind in p2. the only time your eyes weren’t glued to the tv was when you noticed someone standing in front of you to block the camera’s view of your celebratory dance when it was official that max had DNFed.
you’re practically biting your nails off as the laps go by, praying harder than you ever have before that this race ends well for ferrari. you hadn’t been able to attend the last race, so the possibility of witnessing charles on the podium in the flesh had you shaking in your boots. especially after how rough last season was.
and then george crashes on the last lap.
“what?!” you exclaim, flying out of your chair and covering your mouth with both hands.
the tv switches to a different camera that shows his car on its side in the middle of the track, and you can feel your heart in your throat as you wait for what looks like an obvious red flag. you can hear someone say your name, and out of the corner of your eye you can see your own face on another tv. usually you smile, wave, or make a funny face at the camera when you catch it filming you, but right now you’re too worried about the fact that only a yellow flag has been called along with a virtual safety car. your hands go from your mouth to your head as it’s confirmed that the race will finish under the virtual safety car, meaning a guaranteed ferrari 1-2 and charles on the podium.
you waste no time in throwing your headset down and cheering, getting wrapped up in hugs by the team as they pass you by to head to the side of the track and cheer carlos and charles across the finish line. while they do so, you rush out of the garage to find your way to the podium in order to get the best spot to see both ferrari drivers up there and hear the dulcet tones of a different anthem than that of the dutch one.
the wait goes by quicker than you thought, and they’re announcing lando’s name as he walks onto the podium to claim his third place finish. then the graphics behind the podium change to charles’, and the second his name is called you do what you’ve been waiting to do since the moment max retired from the race.
years of attending concerts and dance competitions had thoroughly prepared you for this moment. you cup your hands around your mouth, and the second you spot charles, you shout as loud as you possibly can.
“CHARLIEEEE!”
your scream renders everyone else silent for a few shocked moments, and you giggle when charles nearly trips over his own feet as he cranes his neck to try and find you. you shout his name again, sending the ferrari team into a chorus of similar cheers, and when charles finally spots you, his smile grows impossibly brighter and he blows you a kiss from the second place position on the podium.
he looks nothing short of ethereal— his hair fluffy and messy from being encased in his helmet, the rings adorning his fingers, the way he holds his chin up with barely contained pride as the team sings the italian national anthem. you make a mental note to tell him he’s been looking a lot like tony stark lately, and you’re loving it. even more so when he gets drenched in champagne, the confetti sticking to his soaked skin.
he has no struggle in finding you after the ceremony— as soon as you spot him, you let out a wolf whistle that has him blushing.
“there’s my girl,” he laughs as you launch yourself into his arms, kissing the top of your head. “made sure i could hear you all the way from the podium, huh?”
“of course, what did you expect?” you ask, smiling widely as you look at the trophy that got sandwiched between you both. “i’m so proud of you, charles. the whole world needs to know about it.”
“here,” he holds the trophy out to you. “pour toi, ma belle.”
“you’re shouldn’t have,” you tease, taking it into your hands and admiring it as best you can while trying to ignore your reflection in its surface. “this is amazing. you’re amazing. where’s carlos?”
“i thought you were my girlfriend,” he snatches the trophy back. “no more trophy for you.”
“but he won,” you continue, rolling your eyes when he pouts. “hey, i only gave him gracious applause. i seem to recall screaming your name before.”
“and it’s the only name you ever will.” he says with a wink, and you elbow him in the ribs.
“you are so…” you trail off, at a loss for words courtesy of his audacity.
“correct?” he supplies, wrapping an arm around your waist and pressing a kiss to your temple.
“i was thinking ‘unbelievable.’”
“i’m taking that as a compliment.” he says, before leaning in and whispering in your ear. “now let’s go back to the hotel and see how loud you can be for me there, hmm?”
you can only hope that the hotel walls are soundproof.
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note: for some reason writing for charles is like fucking impossible for me so if this flops i have nothing and no one to blame but myself 💪🏼💪🏼
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futurewdclandonorris · 7 months
Text
The Interview | Lando Norris⁴
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Pairings: Lando Norris x bsf!reader
Warnings: smut
Requested: yes
A/N: My first time writing bsf!Lando yay!!! This was a pain in the ass to edit and as twice to write. I wanted to burn it at least six times in the process, but I finally won that war and here we are. I don't hate it, but don't necessarily like it either, but I hope that's only because I read it like 945437 times and already know every sentence by heart 💀 and that you will actually enjoy it <3
Interviewing your best friend, how hard could it actually be? As you sat across from Lando Norris in the cozy McLaren hospitality, you realized that interviewing him was proving to be much more challenging than you had anticipated. Especially when he was looking like that.
Sweats and hoodies were his all time go to whenever he was at home, and you have seen him wearing it numerous times. But that morning when he came to pick you up from your hotel room, you didn’t expect that exact outfit to be the one to leave you stunned.
As you tried to ignore how effortlessly good he looked, in white sweatpants and a light grey jumper that showcased his lean physique, and curls of his hair falling in just the right way over his forehead, you cleared your throat and focused on the notes in front of you. But as Lando flashed you a charming smile and leaned back in his chair, all thoughts of the interview questions went out the window.
“So, what do you want to know that you already don’t?” Lando asked, his eyes sparkling with mischief.
"So, Lando," you began, trying to keep your voice steady, "what do you think sets McLaren apart from the other teams on the grid this season?"
"I think what really sets us apart is our team spirit," he replied. "We have an incredible group of people working together towards a common goal, and that camaraderie is something special." Lando flashed you yet another one of his charming smiles.
His words were filled with passion, and it was impossible not to be captivated by the way his voice drew you in. Despite being your best friend, there was something different about seeing him in his element, fully immersed in his love for the sport.
"It's no secret that you have a huge following on social media," you continued, steering the conversation towards a lighter topic. "How do you handle the pressure of always being under the spotlight?"
Lando chuckled softly before replying, "Oh, you know, I just try to be myself and have fun with it. The fans are amazing, and I'm grateful for all their support. Plus, it helps that my memes game is strong," he added with a wink.
"You definitely have some iconic meme moments," you agreed with a laugh, feeling more at ease now that the conversation had shifted to something more familiar. But beneath the banter and playful exchanges, you couldn't shake off the nagging feeling that there was something Lando wasn't telling you.
Throughout the interview, you noticed subtle shifts in Lando's demeanor whenever certain topics came up. His jokes became more frequent, his sarcasm sharper, as if he was intentionally deflecting your inquiries. You made a mental note to revisit those moments later, but for now, you decided to go with the flow and enjoy the time with your best friend.
Leaning forward, you fixed him with a steady gaze and said, "Let's talk some more about you. It’s the beginning of a new season and fans are eager to know what your goals are for the upcoming races. Can you share with us what you hope to achieve this year?"
For a moment, there was a flicker of seriousness in his eyes before he smirked and replied, "I hope to give all the other drivers a head start, just to make things interesting," Lando quipped with a mischievous grin.
You chuckled at his response, recognizing the familiar playful tone he always carried. But beneath the humor, you sensed a hint of determination in his eyes. Pushing further, you pressed on, "Come on, Lando. We all know you're not one to settle for anything less than the best. What are your real aspirations for this season?"
“You already know what my aspirations are, y/n. Can’t you just make something up?”
“Of course I can’t. What if I put together a statement and then you tell a different version of events to another journalist?”
Lando chuckled, shaking his head at your persistence. “And what makes you think I wouldn’t lie to them? Other reporters aren’t my friends so I think it’s actually you who’s in advantage here.”
Rolling your eyes playfully, you shot back, "Oh, so now I'm the lucky one getting the inside scoop, huh? Well alright, if you’re already so tired of answering my questions, how about we take a break and take some pictures for the article? I also heard you got a new helmet you’ll be wearing for testing as a tribute to Gil de Ferán, right? Let's capture that moment."
Lando's eyes lit up with enthusiasm at the mention of his new helmet design. He eagerly agreed, and the two of you made your way to the McLaren garage where his helmet awaited. As he carefully lifted it up, you couldn't help but admire the intricate details and the thoughtful tribute to the racing legend. Lando slipped it on with a sense of pride, and you couldn't resist snapping a few photos of him posing confidently in front of his car.
“Let’s go out to the track and have some shots of you and the helmet there. You could sit on the pit wall and hold it in your lap while admiring it,” you suggested, already envisioning the striking images that would accompany your article. Lando flashed you a grateful smile, appreciating your creativity and dedication to capturing the essence of his racing journey.
Lando perched on the pit wall, his expression a mix of focus and determination as he cradled the helmet in his hands. The vibrant colors of the design shone brightly against the backdrop of the racing circuit, a visual representation of Lando's respect for the sport's history and his aspirations for the future.
You snapped photo after photo, each frame telling a story of passion, ambition, and unwavering dedication.
“You’re choosing some interesting angles,” Lando teased as you were crouching down to get a shot from a lower perspective.
You couldn't help but smile at his lighthearted comment, your cheeks flushing with a warmth that had nothing to do with the scorching sun beating down on the track. Lando's voice had a way of enveloping you, drawing you in like a magnet and as you adjusted your position to capture another shot, your eyes inadvertently lingered on his hands, noticing the way his fingers traced the curves of the helmet with a gentle reverence.
You always thought Lando had beautiful hands, but in that very moment you couldn’t help but think what it would be like if those hands touched you. Really touched you.
The professional journalist in you was focused on capturing the perfect shots and telling Lando's story through the lens of your camera. But the other part of you, the part that had known Lando for years and cherished his friendship above all else, was struggling to keep up with the sudden surge of desires and thoughts that threatened to unravel your composure.
Lando's easy laughter and playful banter did little to ease the tension building within you. With each click of the camera, his presence seemed to grow more magnetic, his features more captivating. You couldn't deny the allure of his smile, the intensity in his gaze, or the way his energy seemed to envelop you in a cocoon of warmth.
While you reviewed the photos on your camera, Lando leaned in closer to get a glimpse as well. The heat of his body so near sent a shiver down your spine, and you hastily cleared your throat, trying to dispel the sudden rush of emotions coursing through you. But Lando was oblivious to your inner turmoil, his attention fully focused on the images displayed on the screen.
"These look amazing, y/n," he exclaimed, his eyes lighting up with genuine excitement.
"Thank you, Lando," you managed to reply, your voice sounding slightly breathless even to your own ears. Clearing your throat once more, you added, "We should head back. You still owe me some answers.”
As you walked back towards the McLaren hospitality unit, Lando slung an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into a playful headlock. "You know, y/n, for someone who claims to be a professional interviewer, you're not half bad as a photographer either," he teased, his eyes twinkling with mischief.
You chuckled, swatting his arm away with mock indignation. "Hey now, don't let my talents overshadow your own star power. I'm just here to make sure the world sees the real Lando Norris in all his glory, on and off the track," you quipped back with a grin, the easy banter between you a testament to the years of friendship that had only grown stronger through the shared journey in the fast-paced world of Formula 1.
As you reached the hospitality unit, Lando released you from the headlock and held the door open with a flourish. "After you, madam photographer," he said with a mock bow, his eyes dancing with a mischievous gleam.
You both entered the bustling hospitality area, filled with team members preparing for the upcoming race weekend. The familiar sights and sounds enveloped you, a comforting blend of adrenaline and excitement that always accompanied a race day.
The familiar faces of the McLaren team greeted you warmly, their camaraderie palpable in every interaction. Lando's presence only added to the vibrant ambiance, his infectious laughter drawing others to join in.
Taking a seat at one of the tables, you watched as Lando engaged in animated conversations with his teammates, his passion for racing evident in every gesture and expression. It was moments like these that reminded you why you were drawn to motorsport in the first place—the sense of community, the thrill of competition, and the shared pursuit of excellence.
“Sorry for leaving you like that,” Lando said, sliding into the seat across from you, “but duty calls. It’s time to jump in the car. We can finish the interview later tonight, if that’s alright?”
"Of course, go do your thing out there on the track. We'll pick up where we left off," you replied, giving him an encouraging smile.
You stayed for a while, watching him drive and snapping a few more photos of his swift maneuvers on the track, each turn and acceleration a testament to his skill behind the wheel. The sun dipped lower in the sky, casting a golden glow over the circuit as the day drew to a close and you decided to go back to the hotel and edit the material you’ve gathered so far.
Having spent the whole day on track in the glowing sun, you first took a shower and got more comfortable in your pajama shorts and loose top before settling down at the small desk in your hotel room. The soft glow of the lamp bathed the room in a warm light as you organized your notes and sifted through the photos from today's shoot. Lando's vibrant energy leapt off the screen, each image a kaleidoscope of emotions and determination captured in still frames.
Lost in thought, you were startled by a knock on the door. Puzzled, you made your way over and peered through the peephole to see Lando standing outside, a sheepish grin on his face. And he was back in that damn outfit from before.
Despite the late hour, you couldn't suppress a smile at the sight of Lando standing at your door, his eyes alight with a mischievous glint. Opening the door, you raised an eyebrow in mock admonishment.
“Look who decided to show up. I was beginning to think you had forgotten about me,” you quipped, stepping aside to let him in.
“Never,” he replied with a grin, making himself at home in your hotel room. “Besides, I thought we could finish that interview now that I'm all fresh and ready to spill some secrets," you couldn't help but notice the way he moved with an easy familiarity, as if he had been in this space countless times before. “Oh, sorry, were you getting ready for bed?” he asked, as if only now noticing your comfortable attire, his gaze lingering on your bare legs a little longer than necessary, before innocently looking you in the eyes with a small smile.
Ignoring the flutter in your chest at his gaze, you shook your head with a chuckle.
“Not at all, I was actually working. You should see your helmet shots on a big screen. They turned out to be amazing.” you gestured as you took a seat at your laptop to show him.
Lando leaned over your shoulder, his breath warm against your neck as he peered at the screen. You couldn't help but notice the closeness between you, the shared intimacy of the moment sending a chill down your back.
“Wow, these look incredible,” Lando breathed, his voice low with awe. ”You really have an eye for capturing the moment.”
His praise sent a flush of warmth to your cheeks, a mixture of pride and something else you couldn't quite name. As you scrolled through the images together, Lando's hand brushed yours accidentally, sending a jolt of electricity through you both.
Clearing your throat and trying to ignore the nervous flutters, you turned to face him. "So, about those secrets you promised to spill..."
Lando's eyes sparkled mischievously as he settled into the armchair beside you, his gaze intense as he studied your face. For a moment, there was a weighty silence that hung between you, thick with unspoken words and unexplored emotions. You could sense a shift in the air, as if the room itself held its breath in anticipation of what he might reveal.
Finally, breaking the tension with a casual shrug, Lando chuckled softly. "Alright, alright. What do you want to know?" he asked playfully, though there was a glint of vulnerability in his eyes that you couldn't ignore.
Seeing him sit there casually in that armchair and in those sweatpants with legs spread lightly made your breath a little quicker. Taking a deep breath and clearing your throat, you busied yourself with your notebook to keep you from looking at him. “So,” you started, flipping through pages. “We have a few unanswered questions left...”
You couldn’t help but feel a rush of nerves at his intense stare, and you mechanically placed a hand on the back of your neck, stretching it out slightly. Lando's gaze followed the movement, his expression softening as he reached out to gently touch your hand, his fingers tracing delicate patterns on your skin. The simple gesture sent a shockwave of warmth through you, the soft brush of his touch awakening a hunger you tried to suppress the whole day.
“Nervous?” he asked, his tone low.
You chuckled, trying to lighten the atmosphere. “Why would I be nervous? It’s not my first time conducting an interview.”
Lando's gaze lingered on you, his eyes searching yours with a depth that made your heart race. "Maybe it's not the interview that's making you nervous," he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. The air between you crackled with tension, the unspoken words hanging heavy in the room as he leaned closer, his breath warm against your skin.
Your mind raced with a million thoughts, emotions swirling within you as you met his gaze, feeling as though you were on the precipice of something unknown yet undeniably thrilling. In that moment, all the barriers you had carefully constructed around your heart began to crumble, revealing a vulnerability you had long kept hidden.
“I noticed the way you were looking at me out on the track today,” Lando murmured, his voice husky with unspoken desire. “It wasn't just the photographer's gaze anymore, was it?” His hand lingered on yours, a silent question hanging in the air. “Especially when you crouched down to get those low angle shots of the helmet. I could feel your eyes on me longer than necessary. You didn’t do it because you wanted to capture the shot perfectly, did you?” he continued, his gaze searching yours for any sign of confirmation. “No, you did it because you wanted to be on your knees for me, to be close to me, to feel the heat of my body as you snapped away at your camera. Admit it,” Lando's voice was a whisper, causing a flurry of emotions to swirl inside you.
His words were like a sharp blade, slicing through the air and laying bare a hidden longing that had been bubbling beneath the surface, waiting to be acknowledged. You swallowed hard, feeling the weight of what he had just said settling in the space between you.
“Even this, you inviting me into your dimly lit room—”
“I don’t like big lights,” you interjected, as you tried to regain some semblance of control over the situation.
But he continued as if you hadn't said anything. “—in your silky pajama shorts and that flimsy tank top that leaves little to the imagination,” Lando said, his voice dropping even lower as he leaned closer, his gaze smoldering.
“I was getting myself comfortable—”
“Of course, you’re smart and already have a reason for everything I point out,” Lando's gaze softened at your words, a flicker of understanding passing between you as he reached out to gently tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear. The tenderness of his touch sent a wave of sensation to travel down your spine, reigniting the fiery connection between you. “But I am your best friend, and I know you. You can try as much as you want, but you can’t hide the truth from me,” Lando murmured, his thumb brushing lightly against your cheek as he leaned in, his lips hovering tantalizingly close to yours. “I know you inside out.”
His words hung in the air, the tension between you palpable as you both teetered on the edge of something unspoken yet undeniably present. And maybe. Maybe he was right. Intentionally or not, you did know he was coming.
In that charged moment, with your heart pounding in your chest, you made a choice. You took him by the collar of his shirt and smashed your lips together. You pulled him with such force that he stumbled forward, but he quickly found balance by taking a handful of your hair and pulling you closer, deepening the kiss with a hunger that matched your own. The kiss was electric, a surge of raw desire and pent-up emotions finally breaking free. The world around you faded away as you lost yourself in the intoxicating taste of him, the warmth of his lips searing through you like a wildfire.
Every touch, every caress, ignited a blazing need within you, a longing that had been buried for far too long. As you melted into each other, the boundaries that had kept you apart crumbled, leaving only the raw, primal connection that bound your souls together.
As the kiss broke, you both gasped for air, your foreheads resting against each other as you tried to catch your breath. Lando's eyes bore into yours, a mixture of surprise, craving, and something deeper that stirred within his gaze.
“Is this what you wanted?” you whispered, your voice barely audible in the tense stillness that enveloped you both.
“I wanted to kiss you first, but god, you’d beat me to it,” a low chuckle escaped his lips as he spoke. There was a hint of amusement in his eyes, but beneath it lay a raw vulnerability that mirrored your own. In that moment, as you gazed into each other's eyes, you knew that nothing would ever be the same between you.
You reached out to touch his face, your fingers tracing the contours of his jawline as if committing every detail to memory. The room felt as though it had shrunk, leaving just the two of you in your own intimate world where words were no longer needed.
“Then kiss me,” you breathed.
Lando's lips met yours in a frenzy of passion, each kiss deepening the connection that had ignited between you. His hands dug into your shirt, pulling you closer as if trying to erase any remaining distance between you. You responded with equal fervor, your hands tangling in his hair as you deepened the kiss, a surge of emotions overwhelming your senses.
He picked you up in his arms and carried you to the bed, laying you down gently, your laughter mingling with his in the heated moment. As he joined you on the mattress, his lips trailed down to your neck, your skin tingling at his touch, and you moaned softly as his teeth grazed your sensitive skin. A shiver ran through your entire body, and you arched into him, inviting him further.
He took the invitation, his hands exploring every inch of your body, his touch feather light at times, then rougher, aching to leave his mark upon you. Your breath caught in your throat as his fingers traveled over your chest, igniting a wave of heat inside you. Each touch left a trail of fire, intensifying the sensation.
His mouth found its way to your lips again, his tongue darting out to taste you, and you met him eagerly, your tongues twining together in a frenzied dance. The room was filled with the sound of your breaths mixing, your hearts pounding in sync, as you lost yourself in each other's embrace.
Lando's body pressed against yours, his heat searing through your clothes, making your skin feel like it was sizzling. You could feel his hardness brushing against your core, making you moan softly, yearning for more.
Your hands found their way to his back, pulling him closer, needing the intimacy that only skin-to-skin contact could provide. His mouth gently moved down the curves of your neck, leaving a tantalizing trail of kisses that sent sparks of exhilaration coursing through your body. You arched your back yet again, wanting more of his touch, more of his attention.
Slowly, he lifted your shirt, revealing your stomach, and you felt a sudden rush of heat between your legs. His eyes locked onto your bare skin, a hunger gleaming in them. You knew he was seeing all of you, every flaw and imperfection that made you, you. But he didn’t care; he wanted you just the way you were.
“You’re perfect,” he whispered, his voice barely above a whisper. You could feel the sincerity in his words, and a wave of vulnerability washed over you. This wasn’t just about the physical attraction; it was about the emotional connection you had built over time.
He kissed your stomach, his warm breath sending a shiver down your spine. You wanted him closer; you wanted to feel his skin against yours. You reached behind you and tugged off his shirt, revealing his muscular physique that you had always admired.
You pulled him closer, and he kissed you again, his hands wandering to your breasts, tracing the outline of your nipples through your pajama top. You moaned softly, arching your back, wanting more of his touch.
He took off your top, revealing your bare chest, and you shivered at the feeling of his rough hands on your skin. He kissed your torso, his tongue darting out to taste you, and you moaned softly, inviting him to explore more.
He trailed his lips down your stomach, leaving a path of wet kisses that made you tremble with longing. You could feel his breath on your thigh, and you knew what was coming. He traced the edges of your panties, his fingers teasing you, sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body.
Lando looked up at you, his eyes filled with craving. He wanted you more than anything, and you knew it. You were his, and he was yours.
You reached down and pulled off his pants–the damn pants that started all this in the first place–revealing his erection that strained against the fabric. Your fingers grazed it, and he moaned softly, his eyes locking with yours. You could see the need in him, and it made your heart race.
You pulled off his pants, revealing his naked body, and you couldn't help but admire him. He was perfect, every inch of him, and you knew that this was what you had been waiting for. This was the moment you had been dreaming of, the moment you had been yearning for.
He laid you down gently and continued to explore every inch of your body. His fingers traced the curves of your hips, your waist, your thighs, each touch setting off a firestorm of desire within you. You moaned softly, your body arching towards his, craving his touch.
He slid his fingers between your legs, teasing your most sensitive spot, sending waves of delight coursing through you. You gasped, your breaths becoming shallow as you struggled to control the growing want inside of you.
Lando's eyes locked with yours, a mixture of lust and tenderness shining in them. He leaned down and whispered in your ear, his breath warm and sensual, “You are never to interview any other driver, you hear? You are mine. My best friend, my reporter.”
You laughed softly, the sound mingling with his as he skillfully used his hands to bring you to satisfaction. "I don't know, Lando. What if my boss wants me to do another story? What will I say then?"
“Then you do it somewhere I can see you. And you wrap it up, no inviting other drivers into your hotel room cause look what happens,” he quipped, his fingers moving faster, sending shivers throughout your body.
You gasped for air, your body trembling as you felt the waves of pleasure building up within you. You knew that you were close, that you couldn't hold back any longer. “Lando, please,” you begged, your body aching for release.
Lando's eyes met yours, a fierce intensity in his gaze. He knew what you needed, and he was more than willing to give it to you. With a sudden, forceful thrust, he entered you, filling you completely, sending a shockwave of pleasure through your entire body.
You cried out, your breath hitching as each thrust sent you higher and higher. Lando's pace quickened, his body slamming against yours, each movement a testament of his want for you. The room was filled with the sounds of your intertwined bodies, your hearts beating in sync, lost in the moment.
“You feel so good,” Lando panted, his voice low and rough. He reached up, his hands tugging at your hair, pulling your lips to his in a searing kiss. His tongue plunged into your mouth, tasting you, possessing you.
You wrapped your legs around him, your nails digging into his back, pulling him closer, needing him deeper. Your body ached for more, craving the release that only he could give you.
Lando's thrusts became more insistent, his hips pistoning against yours, each movement driving you closer to the edge. Your breath came in short gasps, your heart pounding in your chest as the ecstasy built up inside you. You could feel the heat coursing through your veins, the desire consuming you.
“Lando, oh god, I'm so close,” you whispered, your voice trembling with need. Lando responded by increasing his pace, his body slamming into yours, each thrust sending overwhelming bliss throughout your entire body.
You felt the familiar sensation building up within you, the pressure rising, the heat spreading. You knew what was coming, and you welcomed it with open arms. With a loud cry, you arched your back, your body trembling as the wave of pleasure crashed over you, engulfing you completely. Lando's body followed suit, his thrusts becoming erratic, his voice hoarse as he emptied himself within you, crying out your name.
Your bodies collapsed onto each other, panting heavily, your skin glistening with sweat. You didn't know how long you lay there, lost in each other's embrace, but the moment felt timeless. 
You glanced at him, only to see him sound asleep with a contented smile on his face. You couldn't help but run your fingers lightly through his hair, feeling the warmth of his body and the weight of his head on your chest. But you still had the article to finish and the call from your editor to make.
You gently extracted yourself from his embrace, feeling the cool air on your skin as your body adjusted back to reality. With a tender kiss on his forehead, you whispered, “I'll be right back,” feeling a sense of contentment and a touch of guilt at leaving him there.
You put on a robe and sat down at your desk, using the warm glow of the computer screen to illuminate your face as you typed away, every word bringing you closer to finishing the article. Although he owed some questions to the world, as his best friend you already knew the answers to almost every one. Remembering his words from earlier, you took it to your advantage to finish the article.
As you worked, the memories of the night still fresh in your mind, you couldn't help but recall the way Lando's hands felt on your body, the way his breath grazed your skin, the way his voice whispered husky promises in your ear. It made it hard to concentrate, but you knew you had to be professional.
With the piece finally done, you sent it to your editor, knowing that you had captured the essence of Lando's journey and the excitement surrounding his career. You knew that this was just the beginning of many great things for him, and you couldn't be more proud to have witnessed it firsthand, as his best friend, reporter and maybe something more in the future.
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minart-was-taken · 2 months
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The wild references to Finland in Honkai Star Rail
Hello, in this post I'm going to go over the various references to Finland in Honkai Star Rail (Also touching a little on HI3) and explaining them the best I can so that non-finns can understand how hilariously delightful they are.
_
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Starting with a funny one: Welt Yang.
The man is canonically 1/2 finnish, 1/4th chinese and 1/4th german according to sources I dont understand.
The way this is represented in Honkai Star Rail comes in one intentional form and one that may be an accident but I love it anyway:
1.
Welt's given name is Joachim Nokianvirtanen, a name that is utterly hilarious to a finn like me. Why? Well Nokianvirtanen is not a surname anyone here would ever have. Virtanen is a real surname, but for some reason Mihoyo decided slap Nokia in the front of it??
The name translates to "Nokia's rapids." Which adds to the funniness because yes Nokia is an actual place in Finland and not just the brand, but it is also very much the brand.
(Also Joachim is not a finnish name even if many finns are christian.)
This is the equivalant of naming an american character Jesus McDonaldslake.
2.
Welt's hair colour! A lot of people imagine blond and blue eyes when imagining a finn, but that's not actually accurate to the statistics. The most common hair colour here is in fact "Maantien harmaa." Translating to country road grey. Sometimes they leave out the word grey or replace it with blond. The colour is known as dirty blond or pale brown in english speaking countries 👍 This is less funny and just a cute detail.
_
Secondly we'll be going over Sampo Koski, a man many know to have a very finnish name.
BUT FIRST Fun backround info: I didn't know Sampo was in this game when I first started playing, so when he showed up and suddenly dropped finnish words at me I was utterly jumpscared.
Finland is very rarely referenced in media outside of our country, so most of us are NOT used to hearing anything about our home in media.
Furthermore there's actually a meme about this very thing that everyone in the country knows: Torilla Tavataan. This translates to "Lets meet at the marketplace" which is referring to the idea that when something massively cool happens we should gather together and celebrate.
The finns REALLY want to be acknowledged by the wider world lol
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Anyway back to Sampo. His name is actually something I could totally see a real finn having, although his first name is a little out there.
Sampo is an item from finnish* mythology that was forged by a super capable smith with the help of his whole village. The item is golden with multiple spouts that produce valuable things like flour, gold and I believe... salt? You can find more about the item online.
Koski meanwhile means a river rapid. Uhm, lotsa water themed names here, huh!
Nothing that funny going on with his references to be honest. I can even say the voice actor did an amazing job pronouncing his name correctly.
_
Yunli's companion quest!
This is the newest batch of references I've ran into, but if I or anyone else finds more I'll be updating this list :]
In Yunli's companion quest we meet... Paavo. His name is Paavo--
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This NPC introduces himself as a traveler from far away who's come to deliver a sword from his homeland back to the Xianzhou where it was originally forged. Here's why he made me giggle uncontrollably every moment he was on screen.
1.
Paavo is considered kind of a joke name, very comparable to naming someone Bob in america. The way NPC's referred to him sounded like "Mr. Bob" to me. It was so funny
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2.
He is from the PLANET KALEVALA?? SAFlJ LJ ???
Kalevala is the national epic of Finland* and tells stories such as the one of Sampo's creation. The title does refer to setting of the story, but it is still weird to hear it as a name of a planet lol.
3.
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Our food is really repetitive u right Mr. Paavo
4.
Paavo explains the sword he has come to deliver is called Miekka Kivessä. This is the finnish translations of "The sword in the stone." he proceeds to then explain the legend of the sword in the stone, which. It's not a finnish legend. We've never had a king, yet alone chosen them with a sword-- Not even in myths. Kalevala's highest ranking guy in the mortal realm is Väinämöinen who's an old wise man.
Also he says Miekka Kivessä wrong but that's to be expected, very funny, and also I admire the effort to at least try and make it sound natural.
5.
Finally, he later reveals his last name-- Which, why are we refering to him as Mr. Paavo if he has a last name...? Oh well! Mr. Paavo's last name is Kalastaja, which translates to Fisher. This is not a real last name in Finland. The english equivalent of this man's goddang name would be something like Mr. Bob Employee.
_
Since you've made it this far I assume you won't mind me rambling a bit more. I'm personally psyched to see Finland mentioned in non-finnish media and love the wonky but genuine attempts to include us!
I think considering how many weebs there are in Finland who've come up with illogical "Asian names" to sound cool online, it's only fair we got the same treatment back :P I hope they'll keep delivering and I'd love to visit planet Kalevala one day.
_
*It's worth noting Finland is a colonizer of the Sami people, and a lot of their culture has been annexed without any care or respect towards them.
Finland was also under colonialism itself for hundreds of years, and our myths have been largely lost to time with only some information left. It's super difficult to tell what is finnish mythology and whats the Sami people's mythology.
That's a fact that's deeply important to remember when discussing things like this, and I hope that the people reading this consider looking into how to help the indigenous people of the nordic region. Thank you.
447 notes · View notes
mcflymemes · 5 months
Text
THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT - THE ANTHOLOGY BY TAYLOR SWIFT PROMPT LIST *  assorted lyrics from the album, some lines slightly adapted for meme purposes but feel free to adjust as necessary
even if it's handcuffed, i'm leaving here with you.
trust me. i can handle a dangerous man.
i love you. it's ruining my life.
does it feel all right to not know me?
i am who i am 'cause you trained me.
quick. tell me something awful.
i loved you the way that you were.
we were just kids, babe.
i can fix him.
you and i go from one kiss to getting married.
you said i'm the love of your life.
way up there, i actually love it.
i just don't understand how you don't miss me.
do you hate me?
did you think i had it in me?
what if i told you i'm back?
i still miss the smoke.
i'm not trying to exaggerate, but i think i might die if it happened.
you look like stevie nicks.
it's hell on earth to be heavenly.
i still can't believe it.
this happens once every few lifetimes.
didn't you hear? they called it all off.
it's happening again.
my friends say it isn't right to be scared.
i might just die.
fuck you if i can't have us.
tell me about the first time you saw me.
are you gonna marry, kiss, or kill me?
no one's ever had me... not like you.
stay away from her.
there wouldn't be this if there hadn't been you.
i don't think you've changed much.
that's where i was when i lost it all.
life was always easier on you than it was on me.
i hoped you'd return.
do you believe me now?
what if your eyes looked up and met mine one more time?
what are the chances you'd be downtown?
is it something i did?
oh, we must stop meeting like this.
they say what doesn't kill you makes you aware.
i'm not a donor, but i'd give you my heart if you needed it.
looking backwards might be the only way to move forwards.
the story isn't mine anymore.
what a charming saturday!
none of it is changing.
wild winds are death to the candle.
one bad seed kills the garden.
i'm bitter, but i swear i'm fine.
this place made me feel worthless.
i didn't want to come down.
everything had been above board.
blood's thick, but nothing like a payroll.
you can mark my words that i said it first.
the professor said to write what you know.
all of this to say, i hope you're okay.
your words are still just ringing in my head.
i built a legacy which you can't undo.
who do i have to speak to to change the prophecy?
the effects were temporary.
no, i'm not coming to my senses.
babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it.
you know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart.
i guess a lesser woman would've lost hope.
thought of calling you, but you won't pick up.
you're a professional.
long may you reign.
you're an animal. you are bloodthirsty.
now i seem to be scared to go outside.
i don't believe in good luck.
i hate it here.
if i'd been there, i'd hate it.
only the gentle survived.
i'm lonely, but i'm good.
you have no room in your dreams for regrets.
i thought it was just goodbye for now.
are you still a mind reader?
let it once be me.
i haven't decided yet.
i still dream of him.
i'm so afraid i sealed my fate.
it was always the same searing pain.
i can't forgive the way you made me feel.
it wasn't a fair fight or a clean kill.
she used to say she wished that you were dead.
tell me all your secrets.
they tried to warn you about me.
you're in terrible danger.
i'm the life you chose.
yes, i'm haunted, but i'm feeling just fine.
no one asks any questions here.
tell me i'm despicable. say it's unforgivable.
i'm running back home to you.
you should see your faces.
you knew the price going in.
was any of it true?
who the fuck was that guy?
i don't ever want you back.
did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed?
you don't get to tell me you feel bad.
you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.
am i allowed to cry?
there's no such thing as bad thoughts. only your actions talk.
they're going to crucify me anyway.
i know i'm just repeating myself.
that's the closest i've come to my heart exploding.
621 notes · View notes
snowywolf1005 · 3 months
Note
Can you do a Kenji Sato x Kindergarten teacher!Gn reader or just female
like imagine he calls you to take care of Emi because he was so busy but because of how busy he is, that means he has to be away most of the time so while Kenji was away the Reader babysits Emi everytime Kenji was away and then time passes by Emi and Reader became so close that she cries when Reader leaves and then when Kenji knew about this He became a bit jealous👀🤭 and then the ending is up to you;)
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KENJI SATO X KINDERGARTEN TEACHER READER
"Bye, kids! Remember to do your homework!" You said waving goodbye to the kids. You closed the door, went to your office, and packed your stuff. But you were interrupted by other teachers. "Hey (Y/N)! Me and the girls are going to the party, want to come?"
You smile, "Sorry, but I have a baby to take off." "What!? Girl, you never go out yo have fun! All you do is... take care of a baby!?" Said the teacher. You grab your bag and your car keys.
"Well... maybe next time, bye!" You said leaving. You went inside your car and started driving, then you got a call, it kenji. You answered his call, "Hey, (Y/N), can you take care of Emi for a moment. Sorry for wasting your time for what you're doing," said kenji.
"No worries. You got the chance to get rest. Just ask me anything." You said, "Okay, oh! Mina will help you if you need anything. " "Got it!" You said hang up, you made it, to kenji home, "mina! I'm here!" You yelled.
"Hello, (Y/N), it good to see you. Emi is starting to cry, " she said. You got inside and went to the elevator, and you saw emi. Crying, "she just woke up from her nap and started looking for you," said mina.
You sigh. "Of course, she does," you said, you walk up to Emi cage, "Hey girl! I'm here, I'm here, don't cry," you said. Emi, stop crying and was so happy to see you.
"Okay, emi, let's learn about sign language, and after that, we have dinner!" Emi cheer, so you teach Emi about sign language to better chance to understand her. Then you feed her some fish just little while you eat your favorite food.
When you try to go to the bathroom, emi will start crying, thinking you're just leaving. "No, no, no, no! I'm just trying to go to the bathroom! So I'm not just leaving!" You said, doing the sign language to make you understand.
When you game back, emi jump, she was in cloud nine. You asked mina to a baseball area, and she did. Emi was so excited. You threw a baseball at her, and she hit it, "Way the go! Emi! Woah!" You cheered.
After that, you told Emi some bedtime story, and emi began to fall asleep. You kissed her on the forehead, "Goodnight, mina." You said. Then mina came up to you, "(Y/N), I prepared some cool bathroom with your favorite drinks while you bathed," she said.
You smile, "let me guess, it was kenji idea, right?" You ask, "yes, he wanted to thank you for taking care of Emi." Said mina. "Tell him, thank you and your welcome," you said, leaving. You took a relaxing, cool bath, drank your favorite drinks.
You got off, dry up, put your clothes on, and watch some TV. Then kenji showed up, sitting next to you, "So how was Emi?" He asks. "She was fine. We did have a lot of fun" you said.
You told him everything that you just did, and kenji started getting jealous as you have all the attention from emi, you can tell the difference in his attitude.
"I'm not jealous," said kenji. You just laughed, and kenji started tickling you.
Memes time:
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You hold kenji, defending from someone who is talking shit about him.
WHO WANTS...
YANDERE KENJI SATO X READER
GIVE ME SOME REQUEST!!!!
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quartergremlin · 1 year
Text
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Yall got a little too much faith in leo. this guy is clueless.
first/previous/next
transcript:
Yuichi:
No. Absolutely not.
Leo:
Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? Don’t you like me? Aren’t I your best friend?
Y:
Yes, unfortunately. But you really should go home.
Leonardo, why are you here right now?
L:
Isn’t it enough that you get to see my handsome face? You gotta know why too?
Y:
It’s kind of hard when you’re shoving your face into my comforter.
And here’s your chance to make me feel like an asshole for kicking you out.
L:
S’never stopped you before.
I guess I’m like… a girl or whatever.
Y:
Oh. Um. Okay? Congratulations? Did you have another name picked out oooor...
L:
No! Not like that! Its-
I've been a girl this whole time. Apparently, dad just guessed – and everyone else knew! And just didn’t tell me!
And-I know. I know it doesn’t matter – I'm being stupid.
Y:
I mean- that doesn’t sound stupid. Id be upset too.
And I don’t want to tell you… what you’re thinking or feeling. But this seems like some pretty intense dysphoria. So maybe your dad got it right?
And your nesting is obviously not helping, honestly-
L:
My what.
Y:
What do you mean “your what”?
Leo:
reeks of lemon-scented cleaner
Yuichu's hoodie
Donnie's board shorts
Raph's bear
made a nest in his bed
Meme:
Yuichi: this is your hormone level. It's pretty normal for someone turtle-PMSimg. You'll be fine in a week.
Extra 1:
Yuichi: as a lizard owner, clocked Leo's nesting immediately.
Leo: Didn't read Donnie's book, so still clueless.
Extra 2:
Yuichi enters to sitcom clapping and cheering.
2K notes · View notes
vivwritesfics · 8 months
Text
(Oh My God) They Were Roommates
Chapter Nine - Cough Cough I'm Sick
Lando Norris and Y/N L/N were teammates. Tension had been between from the minute they started driving together and, when it only got worse, McLaren CEO Zac Brown decides there's only one solution: Have them live together.
1.3K
(idk who sorts out the media stuff so i just said marketing manager)
Series Masterlist
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Here's the thing, it was exactly what it looked like. Max let out a laugh as he looked at the papaya drivers panicked. "Relax," he said quickly and walked out of the driver's room. "I'll meet you both outside."
Y/N and Lando looked at each other as Max shut the door. "Fuck," she whispered as she pulled her clothes back onto her body. She swapped Landos shirt for her own.
Wordlessly, Y/N left his drivers room. She pushed past Max and sped walked out of the track. She was so fucking stupid - this was why they had those rules in the first place!
And now that Max knew, what was going to happen?
She didn't sleep that night, anxiety overtaking her. For the first time of the grand prix weekend, Y/N checked her phone. She went onto her private account, went to the for you page (for the memes) and was immediately flooded with pictures of her in Landos hoodie. Fuck, that was right. She was wearing Landos hoodie.
She didn't know if Lando went to the club with Max, but she didn't care. She wrapped her arms around her pillow and tried to get some sleep.
***
They'd been home for two days and they hadn't slept together. It was unusual, but Lando couldn't blame her, especially after what had happened in Spain.
He missed her. Which, this time just a few months ago, would have felt impossible. But he really did miss her, everything about her.
She didn't entirely avoid him, but it felt like she didn't want him anymore. They hadn't properly spoken since the grand prix, almost like they weren't even friends anymore.
Lando kept himself busy. He gamed and streamed a lot, rarely giving himself time to think about the little hole in his heart.
It was an overreaction, Y/N knew. But she was terrified of the consequences that they'd inevitably get. So far, nothing had happened. But that didn't mean it wasn't coming.
The next week was the Canadian grand prix. For every grand prix since they began living together, Y/N and Lando had travelled together. One of them would usually drive to the grand prix, taking it in turns.
This time, though, Y/N travelled alone. She made her own way to the grand prix, over thinking and then sleeping on the flight.
Lando hadn't realised she'd left. He knocked on her bedroom and pushed it open. "Y/N?" He called, but she wasn't there, already on her way to Canada.
Obviously, Y/N arrived before him. She’d slept on the flight, sure, but she still made her way to her bedroom for a nap. Exhaustion gripped her as she got under the blankets and closed her eyes, still in her travelling clothes.
When Y/N woke up, there was insistent knocking on her hotel room door. “Fine, alright!” She shouted, her voice croaky. Her throat killed as she pulled open the door and came face to face with the McLaren marketing manager. “Hey,” Y/N said, rubbing at her eyes.
“You’re meant to be doing media things with Lando,” the marketing manager said quickly.
“Fuck,” she whispered under her breath and checked the time on her phone. Had she really been asleep for that long? “Okay, I’ll get dressed.”
She shut the door and got changed. What she would have loved to do was take a shower, but with the way the marketing manager was talking, she definitely didn’t have time.
As soon as she was dressed, Y/N followed the marketing manager down to the lobby of the hotel. Outside there was a car waiting for her. She climbed into the back seat and pressed her head against the cool window as they drove towards the track.
Somehow, she fell asleep in the car once again. She woke up to somebody shaking her shoulder, and was quick to follow them into the McLaren hospitality unit. Her had swam as she walked, but she ignored it; she had a job to do.
It was the first time she had seen Lando since she left their apartment. “Hey,” she said through a croaky voice as she sat in the seat beside him.
“Are you okay?” Asked Lando, his arm resting on the sofa behind her.
Y/N quickly moved it. She nodded her head and looked at the camera in front of them as a member of staff past her and Lando question cards.
***
She was sick. That was clear to anyone as she threw up into her bathroom. But to her, it was just stress. She’d had a taste of her first win and she wanted more. Th thought of trying to keep being consistent was making her so stressed that she was coming across sick.
She threw up before qualifying. How she made it all the way to Q3, she didn’t know, but she struggled to qualify in the top five. As soon as qualifying was done, Y/N rushed back to the hotel room while the team at McLaren took care of the media for her. She managed to avoid fans as she was driven back to the hotel.
As soon as she was in her room as she asleep on her bed, still wearing the McLaren shirts and shorts that she had left the circuit in. She didn’t even climb under the covers before falling asleep, her head just about on the pillow.
Again, she woke up to somebody knocking at her door. Again, she reluctantly stood up and pulled open the door.
Only this time, it was Lando on the other side of the door. “Shit,” he whispered as he looked at her. “You look…”
“Like shit,” Y/N answered for him.
“Are you okay?” Lando asked again and Y/N nodded, leaning her forehead against the wood of the door frame. But Lando clearly didn’t believe her. He stared at her, raising his eyebrows, waiting for her to take it back, to tell him that she was feeling as terrible as she looked.
Still, she couldn’t admit it. Lando tried to walk past her, to get into her room, but she stood in his way. “What do you want, Lando?”
“I want you to admit that you’re sick and let me take care of you.”
“I don’t want you to take care of me,” she said, somewhat stubbornly.
So, Lando grabbed a hold of her shoulders and forced his way into her room. He sat the door behind him and sat her on the bed. “Talk to me,” he said, kicking off his shoes and laying back against her pillows.
“About what?” She spat back, crossing her arms as she looked out of the window.
“About why you’re not talking to me.”
She visibly deflated. Fuck, she had missed him, but their last time had scared her enough to keep her away. No, he was just asking to get into her head before the race.
“Max hasn’t told anybody, you know,” he said, leaning forward and placing his large hand on her shoulder. “He’s not going to.”
Y/N twitched her head towards him, but she didn’t say anything.
“We could go back to the way we were, you know,” Lando continued. “I… I miss you and I want to go to how we were.”
She let out a sob and wiped beneath her eyes. She missed it too. Missed him. “I-“ but she couldn’t say more than that.
Wordlessly she crawled towards him. she laid down beside him, placing her head on his chest. “Lando, we can’t tonight,” she said.
“I know,” he responded with a nod. “You’re sick.”
“I’m not sick!” She insisted.
“You’re sick.”
Taglist (CLOSED): @biancathecool @hollie911 @topguncultleader @annispamz @carlossainzwho @spideybv28 @wherethefuckisthething @fangirl125reader @minkyungseokie @marialovesf1 @kitixie @i-wish-this-was-me @bborra @formula1mount @charlotte1697 @formulaal @eviethetheatrefreak @lordpercivalcharles @venisvendetta @marie0v @tbsloneely @laur20a23 @formulas-bitch @cmleitora @marvelavengers000 @gills-lounge @andydrysdalerogers @demipatterns @holy-macncheese-balls @jule239 @aexitizen-ln4 @landosgirlxoxo @allinestarr @starmanv @st0rmzi3 @random-human02 @nocoolusernamesavailable-blog @happymeal777 @ashy-kit @juniper-july19 @im-an-overthinker @haylenxx @kapsylia @prettiest-at-the-party @urfavnoirette @norassimpingzone @thehufflepuffavenger1 @taintet @amorydsmt @hi00000234567 @iamkaku @maxv33rstappen @noneofyourfbusinessworld @thatsusbitch @izzy-marvel @carqueensworld
747 notes · View notes
thepersonnamedsam · 1 year
Text
radio
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pairing: the genz!driver x team x 23!grid
summary: some team radios of our beloved genz!driver
warnings: some swearing
note: oh i hope you all will like what i did here, it took me a hot minute, soo, pls don’t be a ghost reader
our genz!driver doesn’t drive for a specific team (pls imagine which ever is your fav), so the colours of the team radio will be violet, bc it’s not used :)
masterlist / taglist
Bahrain 2023
Q2
- „Okay y/n, you made it into Q2! Let’s keep that same pace you had in Q1“
- „Oh did you hear that? Where did Oscar place??“
- „Piastri is out in Q1, P18“
- „Wooh!! Oscar owes me 50 bucks!!! He lost the bet, he lost it! He didn’t think I’d out-qualify him!“
End of Qualifying
- „Good job, y/l/n! Thats P12 for you! Great start of the season“
- „Yeah baby! I’m the new Smooth Operator, Smooth Operator!“
Race
- „Uhm guys, I think there’s something wrong with my car…“
- „What is it, y/n?“
- „I just overtook Charles, how is that even possible?! Wtf guys, am I that fast?“
- „Oh my god, y/n, you had me stressed out here. I really thought you had technical problems for a second“
- „No worries, I’m just faster than a Ferrari“
- „Radio check“
- „It’s a cruel summer!“
- „Tell me, tell me how we finished, how I finished?!“
- „P11 baby!“
- „Uh, yeah, who’s almost in the points?!“
- „YOU!“
Saudi Arabia 2023
FP2
- „Tell me, is Danny here?“
- „Yea, why?“
- „Can you tell him I said hi? Please“
- „Uhm, sure I can, why?“
- „I just promised him yesterday I‘d give him a shoutout from the track, hahaha“
Q1
- „Okay, y/n, let’s get into Q3 today!“
- „Let’s gooooo!“
- „Could you not scream into the coms, please?“
- „WOHOO!“
- „y/n…“
- „Love you“
- „I don’t…“
- „You totally do“
- „I don’t“
- „You dooooo“
Q2
- „P12, good job y/n“
- „Could’ve gone better“
- „It’s a good result, y/n“
- „But still no Q3“
- „Hey, y/n, cheer up, it’s the same result as last race“
- „I thought we improved, I thought I improved“
- „We can still climb up the ladder“
- „As if, I’m not good enough for that many overtakes, I can defend, but that… I don’t know man“
- „Hey hey, listen to me, y/n. You deserve that spot in F1, you’re young and you’re learning with every race, with every test. I know you’ll be champion one day. Maybe not this race, but you’re gonna go far, kid“
- „…“
- „Are you crying, hahaha?“
- „Let me be emotional, dipshit“
- „Oh Lando is gonna have a field day with this, hahaha“
- „Please don’t show that to Lando“
- „Come to the garage first and we can discuss it“
Race
- „Radio check, y/n“
- „Vamos a la playa“
- „Loud and clear…“
- „FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, SHIT, SHIT, DAMN, WHY DOES IT NEVER GO MY WAY?!“
- „Unfortunate events, retire the car, y/n“
- „UNFORTUNATE?! STROLL JUST STOPPED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD AND I HAD TO BREAK SO HARD NOT TO CRASH INTO HIM THAT I CRASHED INTO THE WALL!“
- „It is what it is“
- „Don’t meme me, I’m mad… haha, okay, thank you“
Australia 2023
Q2
- „Good pace, y/n, let’s keep it that way and we’ll make it into Q3“
- „Alrighty mighty“
- „Cringe“
- „AND THATS P9 FOR YOU“
- „Huh?“
- „P9“
- „I’m into Q3?! Am I really?“
- „Yes! Yes you are!“
Q3
- „Whoop, whoop, that’s the sound of the police“
- „Whoop, whoop, that’s the sound that I need“
- „P10 baby“
- „P10!“
Race
- „Hi y/n, you’re doing really good out there, bring 'em home for me, will ya?“
- „Danny?“
- „Yes?“
- „Hi Danny“
- „Hi, y/n! You’re currently P9, with 0.548s to Piastri“
- „Okay“
- „Let’s push and stay in the points!“
- „YOU‘VE CROSSED THE FINISH LINE AS 7TH!!!“
- „THOSE ARE 6 POINTS, RIGHT?“
- „YES!“
- „It’s all because of Danny!“
- „I’ll gladly let him know“
Miami 2023
Race
- „I- help!“
- „What’s going on? y/n talk to me“
- „I don’t think my break is working“
- „y/n, we are going to retire then, box box“
- „I’ll try for one more lap“
- „No you won’t“
- „I will“
- „I think it’s fine“
- „…“
- „Yea, it’s fine, I can brake normally, hihi, sorry for the worries“
- „You’re a menace, y/n“
Monaco 2023
FP1
- „Monaco baby, the land of pretty people and expensive things, I am home“
- „Why’s that, you’re not from Monaco, y/n“
- „I am pretty and expensive therefore I am home“
Race
- „Radio check, y/n“
- „NOT NOW“
- „Noted“
- „I don’t feel pretty“
- „Sucks for you“
- „Man, that’s a shit move“
- „Sucks“
- „Okay y/n, you’re currently P11 with 0.639s behind DeVries, let’s push to P10“
- „DeVries? Nyck is P10? What happened?“
- „I don’t know, let’s just push him off of P10“
- „Harsh“
- „I’m a bad bitch“
- „Fuck that bitch“
- „Great job, y/n P10!“
- „Where is DeVries?“
- „P12“
- „Who overtook him?“
- „Bottas“
- „HAH!“
- „Be nice“
- „Ugh“
Montréal 2023
FP3
- „You are currently P3, I repeat, you are currently placed on P3“
- „Who’s pranking me? Max? Lando?“
- „No one, you ARE P3!“
- „WHAT?!“
- „Let’s take that pace into qualifying“
- „Uhm, yea, definitely“
Q2
- „What’s my time?“
- „1:18.725“
- „And Max‘s?“
- „1:19.092“
- „WHAT?“
- „You are P1, y/n“
- „Are you kidding me?“
- „I would never“
- „Mhm, but really? P1?“
- „I swear to god, P1“
Q3
- „Fuck! Shit! Holy macaroni fucking meatballs! I crashed, I repeat, I crashed“
- „Yea, we saw, retire the car“
Race
- „P7, good job!“
- „Thanks…“
- „Oh and y/n, you’ve been voted driver of the day“
- „Really?“
- „Really“
- „Firstly, I wanna thank the ground, because without it, I wouldn’t be standing here today“
- „That only works if you’re really standing somewhere, y/n, you’re sitting in an F1 car“
- „Then I’d like to thank my F1 car…“
- „I deactivated your coms“
Austria 2023
Sprint Shootout
- „What exactly is a Sprint really?“
- „Oh my god, really y/n?“
- „No… of course not…“
- „Great job, you placed P13“
- „Mhm, thanks… I‘m thirsty“
- „…“
- „Did no one hear me? I want my drink, where is the drink?“
- „You will not have the drink“
- „Oh you waited so long for that, didn’t you?“
- „No…, yes“
- „Kimi is a legend.“
Sprint
- „I don’t like this Sprint thingy“
- „Why?“
- „I don’t know, just because“
- „P15“
- „No good job?“
- „Not today“
- „Understandable“
Race
- „I want to go home, I am tired of this“
- „What?“
- „It’s getting boring with Max always leading and winning“
- „Thats why we need to push as hard as we can“
- „As if I’ll ever overtake Max“
- „One day, y/n, one day“
- „But not today, that’s why I want to go home“
- „You can’t“
- „Loser“
Silverstone 2023
FP2
- „Why do I not see Charles on the grid?“
- „Why do you have time to look at the screen and not see Charles on there?“
- „You should be driving“
- „I am“
- „Clearly not fast enough“
- „Hey, I am faster than you think“
- „You are currently driving with a speed of 156 km/h“
- „How do you know that..?“
- „I am your race engineer, I know everything“
- „Did you know that I just farted, hahaha?“
- „Unfortunately“
- „Hihi“
- „You’re gross“
- „Thank you“
- „Welcome“
Race
- „If Lewis stands on that podium, he owes me a dinner“
- „And if he doesn’t?“
- „I owe him a pity dinner“
- „And if you stand on that podium?“
- „Thats unrealistic, that’s why we didn’t bet on it“
- „True“
- „HEY!“
- „You said it first!“
- „Not a reason for you to call it out!“
- „Women“
- „I heard that“
- „You were supposed to“
- „Less talking, more driving!“
- „Yes boss“
- „Yes boss“
- „Omg, omg, omg, tell me I crossed that line without a single penalty and we don’t get a grid penalty? Please tell me this is true?“
- „YOU ARE P4 Y/N“
- „Am I really?“
- „Yes!“
- „If it weren’t for the safety car you would’ve been P3!“
- „I don’t care! It’s my best result so far!“
- „So near and yet so far“
- „Lew is P3?“
- „Yep“
- „P4 and I get a free dinner from Lew, what a day“
- „Be proud and loud“
- „WOOHOO!!!“
- „Maybe not so loud…“
- „Sorry not sorry“
Hungary 2023
FP1
- „Oh Danny Ric is back on the grid!“
- „Mhm“
- „Aren’t you happy to see my favourite person driving again?“
- „Totally“
- „Be happy!“
- „Okay…“
- „Oh… I just passed Danny“
- „You are on your flying lap, he needs to let you pass..?“
- „Yeah… but he needs a positive experience on his first race back…“
- „HES THE ENEMY“
- „He’s my best friend…“
- „Does he know that?“
- „Uhm, I hope so“
Race
- „Tell Lando he’s doing a great job“
- „Just drive“
- „Okay…“
- „Lando says thank you, by the way“
- „For what?“
- „Just forget it“
- „Okay“
- „Oh, for that! You’re welcome, Landi“
- „It took you 4 laps to realise“
- „My brain is sometimes slow, let me be“
- „I would if I could“
- „Oh how I hate Perez“
- „It’s mutual“
- „Hihi“
- „Radio check“
- „I am so glad that the summer break is right in front of me, just 33 more laps and it’s me chilling on the beach, getting tan and reading good books and you know, that’s how my dream life looks like and…“
- „How can she be so talkative but still be on for a podium? It’s a mystery for me“
- „And Lando and me oh and Danny will go on vacation together. Maybe Lewis will come as well. I want to go to the Maldives but we’ll see. Oh and you know what would be cool? If we really…“
- „Is she still talking? Yep…“
- „I could learn how to surf and eat loads of stuff and just relax“
- „So you finally decided to stop speaking and concentrate on the race? Great job, y/n“
- „Thanks!“
- „Thats P5 for you! What a race to start the summer break“
- „Thank you so much“
- „We’ll see us in 3 weeks!“
- „Byeeeee“
°°°
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