#a history of what comes next
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Book I picked up because I liked the author's panels at a con reassuringly not awful so far.
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I don't quite know how I feel about A History of What Comes Next yet but it was definitely the most interesting novel I've read this month. It's alternate history, but very gently so, about a family of women who work behind the scenes to spur on space travel, but it's also about their past, their family lore and secrets, and their potential future. It raises questions of ethics and morality, of what is and isn't humanity, and of risks and costs.
All this is stuff I usually enjoy and I did here too, but I also found it hard to connect to and truly engage with. The writing is largely dialogue and inner thoughts and very fast-paced, which is not what I'm used to in SF or what I was expecting, and it didn't have the depth of character I usually need to empathize properly with protagonists. For instance, I can totally understand and support the MC's biggest decisions and struggles, but I never quite liked her the way I've liked similar characters in other books.
Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, this might be a lighter version of my usual problem with "ideas SF", where the author's more interested in exploring ideas than they are with emotional journeys or character arcs, because everyone felt flattened in a similar way to books I have genuine beef with. Or maybe it's that it's all a bit too neat, like even when the characters are at their lowest and most hopeless, they're still able to find a job or get someone's ear and continue their mission. Or maybe it's that the MC tells us her emotions more than letting us feel them. I don't know.
Anyway, the ideas! Neuvel's definitely done research on the space race and history more generally, and has woven it all nicely together with the alternate history bits. He's also done some strong work creating the family, through their lore and secrets and biology. I really liked that the stories they tell each other and the traumas they pass down change over the generations, either because of the telephone effect (A mishears B mishears C) or because, well, people are people. (Not sure I totally bought some of the stuff within this aspect of the novel, but that likely boils down to not personally getting the right amount of explanation to do so. Or, well, all the famous ancestors, even if that was cool.)
Will I be continuing with the trilogy? Probably. Now that I know what to expect, I'll be able to gauge better what mood I should be in for maximum enjoyment, and I do kind of want to see the MC continue to grow and fight for herself and eventually see space travel happen. I'd like to see Neuvel continue some of the themes and I'd like to see where he's going with the arc of the trilogy, all of that stuff. But I'm also not hooked enough to pick up the next book anytime soon.
#books#booklr#bookblr#adult booklr#book covers#book photography#my photos#science fiction#a history of what comes next#sylvain neuvel#book reviews#read in 2023#alternate history#who queue?
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A HISTORY OF WHAT COMES NEXT - Sylvain Neuvel
From the Take Them to the Stars series , Vol. 1by Sylvain Neuvel
RELEASE DATE: Feb. 2, 2021
he first installment in Neuvel’s Take Them to the Stars trilogy is a historical science-fiction thriller set largely in World War II Europe that follows a mother and daughter whose mysterious family’s multigenerational mission is to save humankind.
Mia Freed and her mother, Sarah, are members of the Kibsu, an all-women society whose mysterious origins go back thousands of years to ancient Mesopotamia—and beyond. Generation after generation, the Kibsu consists of a mother-and-daughter team, and their objective never changes: “Take them to the stars, before Evil comes and kills them all.”
Pursued across the world by someone known as the Tracker, Mia and her mother must keep one step ahead of their mythical pursuer while also attempting the impossible—to somehow get aerospace engineer Wernher von Braun, a pioneer in rocket technology, out of Nazi Germany before the Russians can get him and his knowledge. As Mia and Sarah struggle to achieve their lifelong task of getting humankind into space, Mia questions her very existence when she falls in love with a young woman who forces her to look at her life, and her suspected extraterrestrial heritage, from a different perspective. With the backdrop of the space race between the United States and the Soviet Union adding tension and intrigue, Neuvel weaves a story that’s similar in tone to an X-Files episode, replete with arcane secrets, conspiracy theories, and the possibility of aliens living among us. The real power of this novel, however, lies in the adeptly developed character of Mia and her painful and revelatory journey of self-discovery. The abrupt and unsatisfying conclusion will leave some readers disappointed and others scratching their heads, but the second installment could easily set this saga, which is filled with virtually limitless narrative possibilities, back on track.
A flawed beginning to a potentially fascinating science-fiction series.
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I'm not going back to Gusu with you.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#Those last two high effort comics where just a warm up for this masterpiece. My true magnum opus.#I was originally going to do this gag as a 'alternate version of comic 155'#Then I realized that they have the 'Come back to Gusu with me' conversation twice. So here we are!#I did consider having WWX say 'I'm not going back to gusu with you' in the comic for the better plot accuracy.#I'm invoking the rule of silly by having Wei Wuxian read between the lines of 'Come back to Gusu with me'.#Because it does feel like a confession! It is a confession of 'I care about your safety and I worry for what may happen.'#It is also poorly articulated. You can't really blame WWX for reading into it as 'LWJ is just another person trying to control me.'#The relationship between them is not good! It is two parties who genuinely want to be closer with each other but cannot communicate it.#You can't really have what makes these two work so well as a dynamic without the past history of:#“Back then I really wanted to be your friend.” They are a *missed connection*!#WWX reaches out and LWJ rejects him. And now when LWJ reaches out it is WWX who pushes them apart.#It is a tragedy about the consequences of being out of tandem and realizing what you want far too late.#The momentum of WWX's downfall is far to fast to reverse now. It's a 'When' not ''if' question.#Back to your normal style of PD-MDZS next update. Thank you for reading!
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the videos coming out of Syria right now are unbelievable. truly never thought I'd see the end of the Assad regime in my lifetime after 2016 happened and now I'm watching videos of people celebrating in the streets, statues being toppled, and dozens of refugees and political prisoners reuniting with their parents, spouses, children, and friends.
#obviously I'm nervous for what comes next (history and geopolitics have not been kind to the post-Arab Spring MENA countries)#but honestly nothing but ISIL itself could compare with the suffering Assad heaped on the Syrians#december 2024 aka the 'decades where nothing happens and weeks where decades happen' month#syrian civil war#world politics#international politics
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STAR WARS: EPISODE III - REVENGE OF THE SITH & ARCANE S02E03
#empty promises#and something something the history book on the shelf is always repeating itself#minutes after some war crimes and before a tragic divorce (and more war crimes)#oh and i have so much more of these in my mind and this is me already apologizing for what's coming next#i'm going insane#padme amidala#vi#anakin skywalker#caitlyn kiramman#anidala#caitvi#star wars#revenge of the sith#rots#arcane#season 2#paralells#arcane x star wars
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so let me get this straight, watcher:
An unknown party is planting VHS tapes on your own set weekly, containing ad reads by:
a self-proclaimed professor
who mentions unfortunate encounters with horses
who has an 'estranged wife'
whose jacket is tan and tie and red
who is a 'gamer'
whose image flickered in like a hologram in an earlier ad read,
and you want us to just like, not think Something Smells Fishy. OK...
#mod post#mystery files#puppet history#watcher entertainment#shane madej#my actual theories? it's very possible these are being made and planted by the substitute and that's what i'd put my money on. however#at times it seems like he's sort of uncertain what to say next or like he's coming up with things on the spot? so i think it would be funny#if these were being made and sent by the puppets in purgatory; we know they make their own ads for their own shows and they were able#to send A Hologram to the Realm Of The Living so maybe a VHS isn't out of the question. this then makes me think that someone in there has#accidentally made up a character who's Just The Professor Himself Kinda. sorry guys not everyone is cut out for the writer's room !!#honestly though that seems like a happy end for them. i think they should be allowed to make watcher ad reads and their silly TV shows#instead of necessarily Having to go to the afterlife!#my third theory is this is just watcher having fun and doing it purposely. it fits that the corkboard show would have us doing the same
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I don't know what I love more, the fact that as rook you can make a statement in NO uncertain terms that you are NOT responsible one way or the other for the theological implications of the shit you're discovering in the 'regrets of the dread wolf' memories. not my jurisdiction. quite simply none of my business. not my chantry circus not my chantry monkeys. irrelevant to the matter at hand here we'll kill that god if we get to him he can get in line. or if the best thing about it is seeing the lone little 'lucanis approves' that pops up right after choosing it. corvid with a knife about to commit deicide keeping it real and sensibly, pragmatically, wilfully agnostic with me here in this magical lighthouse today
#we do not see it. we cannot read all of a sudden.#rye having war flashbacks to watcher conferences and firmly going 'we are *not* getting derailed by the metaphysics here folks'#rare stern moderator/dad hat moment from ingellvar lol. he's Seen Some Shit in his time (debates that raged over the multiple#and not always concurrent life times of the participants involved. ain't no academic rivalry like watcher academic rivalry#because watcher academic rivalry doesn't stop even when everyone involved is dead. and the rest of us have to live with it)#I. do not think the way I'm getting this quest is how it's meant to be experienced so I'm a bit at a loss as to how to pace it out#I've been an annoying little completionist so I have ALL the statues and could just marathon it out#but that does not feel like the best way for the story and upcoming reveals to work. hm. how to do this#I'm supposed to go fail to save weisshaupt right around now I can't be having study group with all of you rn as much of a delight as it is#rye is nominally an andrastian as mainstream nevarrans generally are but as I gather is the case with many of the watchers#what he *actually* believes in is the grand necropolis itself haha#(and the philosophy of history memory death and relationship (as well as responsibility) between the past and the present#and indeed the future that it represents. we have a duty. to what has been to what is and to what will come after us. good shit)#the nevarran/mortalitasi element just makes their lack of care or respect for chantry orthodoxy *mwha* that extra bit special#the nevarran lack of concern bordering on quiet condescending disdain for official chantry doctrine and policy my beloved#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#poor harding really is living through the most relentless 'if this is the maker testing my faith he sure be testing me' gauntlet of all tim#good news: god might be real! bad news: god might not even be a real thing but more like a magical accident or vibration or something#honestly tho. if we could get full lovecraftian incomprehensible to human conception the maker -- He is a particle and a wave style --#that's the only way I'd be cool with him or them actually answering the question of his existence. that'd be kind of sick#'yes. but no. but maybe. depends on how you define god. and exist. and he. and does.' *ingellvar sets of the METAPHYSICS!! klaxon#that's a time out folks good game but easy on the jargon and navel-gazing definition of terms next round#rye and lucanis have some slightly differing views about at what exact stage of a problem murder becomes a valid solution#('well you just kill them and then I'm the one who has to deal with the next much longer part')#but they're surprisingly kind of vibing on a lot of other stuff lol. good for them <3#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar
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Grips my shirt and tears it apart so that all the buttons go flying and SCREAMS I love Law and Cora so much what the FUCK!!!!
#Shima speaks#SLAMS MY HEAD INTO THE WALL. BREAKING THE PLASTER. LEAVING A HOLE#AGHHH. AGHHFHF HELP#Cora who saw a kid so angry and bitter at the world decided to throw away everything to save him despite the whole WORLD saying he couldn’t#Law who finally realized there’s still hope left in the world and hope left for him and there’s someone willing to sacrifice EVERYTHING#Just to save him. Just to give him a fighting chance. Just to let him be FREE#Law who came to realize how much Cora meant to him and how much love and care Cora had for him. Then losing all that in an INSTANT#The one person he cared about more than anything sacrificed his LIFE for him#And Law spent the next 13 YEARS working to avenge Cora…naming his pirate crew getting tattoos fashioning his Jolly Roger ALL after Cora#TATTOOS!!! HE GOT PERMANENT MARKINGS ON HIS BODY SYMBOLIZING CORA#I’M. GOING TO FUCKING EXPLODE AND BLOW UP. WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK#Oda writing the most epic revenge quest in history#They mean so much to me I’m GOING to die. Right here and now#Cora giving up everything for Law and Law giving up everything for Cora…THAT’S TRUE LOVE BABEY#No matter what kind of form it comes in that’s TRUE. LOVE. PERIODT#One Piece#Do you think Law still would have gotten tattoos symbolizing Cora if Cora had lived. I wonder about that sometimes.#I feel like he would. I feel like he’d wear them proudly and Cora would be SO embarrassed about it#Law’s not shy about shit like that he’d be super smug about it too#Law: You saved me and gave my life meaning why WOULDN’T I want to permanently mark my body to honor that#Cora: Because it’s embarrassing! Lawwww!!! 😭#Law: Too bad doing it anyway <3#Cora: You know what. Fine. But I’m getting a tattoo that symbolizes YOU#Law: PLEASE???#Cora: WH. WAIT THAT BACKFIRED THAT IS NOT HOW YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO REACT#Cora you NEED to match his freak okay.#I heavily hc Law to be absolutely unhinged over the people he cares about#Like scarily possessive AND obsessive kind of unhinged#He and Cora can have an unhealthy codependent relationship. As a treat <3#Okay shutting up now SORRY I’m just. Unwell. Sighs dramatically
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Kit do you not rep Charles anymore 😭
Of course I do he’s prime I just need a break from his team and that fucking dog
#ask#binottos gone. his bones are gone. sainz on his way out. the evil has been DEFEATED#we did it. we found everything that was wrong wid Ferrari and put it in a box and sent it far far away where it cant hurt us anymore#finally a clean slate for elkann and a blank cheque for vasseur to rebuild il cavallino the way enzo wanted. pure italian excellence#and a semi italian boy to lead it all. vasseur FINALLY recognizes leclercs potential as n1 and turns him into the central piece of a new er#they get him hamilton. biggest media event in f1 history#a proven winner. an upgrade in every way. bigger than ferrari? that wont be a question he'll need to answer#binotto is bones. f1-75 is dust. next year sainz will be nothing but a bad memory and the rusting crux of all their PAST problems#this is vasseurs vision now. his holy plan. his sf-24. his personnel. wid elkanns blessings and his deep. deep pockets.#2 years later. the monster's gone. vasseur is here.#and what has vasseur done?#the garages remain the same. no big poaches from rivals. nothing to prepare for hamiltons arrival.#maranello follows a dev path that comes from the same wind tunnel as haas. haas' data correlates. their upgrades work. ferrari's dont.#last 2 upgrades failed because the very concept of the car was wrong. 2 months behind at least.#((took merc almost 2 and a half years to deal wid the damage of an incorrect baseline and correct course))#ferrari came into the triple header 2nd in the standings and left wid 50 points TOTAL. baby mclarens-first-wcc run behind by 7#out of those 50 points none was sharls#sharl has scored 1 point in 4 fucking races#vasseur's ferrari has turned a generational qualifier into a kid whose idea of making pole is running experiments in q3#because who cares anyway if the car is setup for races except it aint setup for that shit either#so quali has to work ((it doesnt)) sunday has to be flawless ((never is)) but to point fingers is a worse crime than this approach to gp's#last gp. silverstone. as representative as it gets. sharl fails to make q3#bouncing around in a setup that hadnt been previously tested on either fp but wud surely make it worth their sunday#sunday: sharl gets lapped#ik sharl better than this#but idk what im looking at rn#I ignored the influencer milestone special helmet because I expected a performance that wud make me forget it#I need him to be a racing driver#he says 'he cant find the words anymore' bro I rlly need him to find them#I'll always ALWAYS root for sharl but to keep it 💯 idk what I'm rooting for anymore
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2024 Book Review #66 – A History of What Comes Next by Sylvain Neuvel
This was a book I bought entirely off the author being at a con I attended and being endearingly awkward in several panels including a long, rambling description of the weird bit of science that inspired it. So I went into this with no real expectations other than the hope it would be entertainingly off-kilter or different from the buzzy and award-nominated stuff I’ve been reading a lot of this year. Which it was! Something of a mess otherwise, sadly, but hardly the worst thing I’ve read recently.
The story follows the Kibsu, a lineage of human-appearing (probably) aliens notable for a) giving birth exclusively to identical clones of themselves, b) being lightly superhuman in both mental acuity and competence with violence, c) a hundred-generation-old family ethos to guide humanity to the stars before some mostly-forgotten doom consumes them all, and also to never have more than two of them (a mother-daughter pair) alive for long and d) the fact that there’s something hunting them across history, cutting a bloody swathe through the lives they leave behind.
The book is, specifically, about the point in history where that mission has suddenly become actually plausible – starting with WW2 and continuing into the early space race. With many significant digressions, the story follows a particular mother-daughter pair as they assist with Operation Paperclip and do everything can to start a Space Race, all while the Tracker hunting them closes in, and as they look around the world of the 1940s and ‘50s and wonder if the species is truly worth spending their and their descendents’ lives trying to save.
While, that’s the plot, anyway. This is one of those novels that gives the overwhelming impression of mostly being the vehicle for all the random trivia and anecdotes the author discovered researching for it and thought were cool (and the book was researched – there’s a ‘further reading’ chapter at the back). Hence the constant shifting in focus from the logistics of Operation Paperclip and the postwar anticommunist witch hunts in the USA to the biology of the Amazon Molly to the story of Olga of Kiev to the early study of atmospheric carbon levels to- you get the idea. Now personally I found this all quite charming, but I can’t say it does much for the pacing or coherence of the book as a novel. Narrativally the whole book is a little bit of a mess, and the digressions into exposition on the wild goose chases of the early soviet space program aren’t helping.
Formally and stylistically the whole book is refreshingly different than anything I’ve read recently. Incredibly close first person POV – essentially just running internal monologues, or I suppose real time diary entries? Different grammer for dialogue and punctuation than I’m really used to, too. There are a few cases where it’s played for tension or horror as you’re left guessing at whose head you’re in or waiting for enough clues to piece together what they’re actually doing. It works far less well for action scenes, though – unfortunate, since that’s what the book’s climax is.
There’s a current – incredibly over-represented among the sort of people who write science fiction novels but present to a lesser degree elsewhere as well – that considers space travel and extra-planetary colonization the ultimate goal of human civilization, the telos which all of history has been driving towards. (Nowadays they mostly seem to be one more subgroup of people nostalgic for the ‘60s, but they’re certainly still around). That current, more than anything else, is what the book seems to be in conversation with – the contrast between the beautiful sounding dream of ‘escaping to the stars’ and the mess of great power politics and intercontinental missiles and recruiting nazis that made up ost of the actual business of developing space travel. There’s several sequels, and I assume the theme’s developed in some more depth through them.
I’m not sure I’m actually going to get around to reading them anytime soon, though. This was refreshingly different and perfectly readable, but nothing about it really left me craving more. .
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Books of 2024: August Wrap-Up.
Hey, would you look at that, it's suddenly September! Rude and uncalled for. This month, I did a lot of knitting (two sets of gloves and two hats! gearing up for holiday season), and a LOT of writing (finished the first 16k draft of a scene, who???), and read uh. Some. I didn't finish a ton of books, but I did make it through what felt like a ton of pages.
Two-thirds of this month's reading were post-apocalyptic-community-oriented, on purpose, to feed into my current writing project, and that worked really well--either I'm very good at choosing books that match the vibe I need, or my ADHD brain is good at making connections, OR a little bit of column A, a little bit of column B. Photos and/or reviews linked below:
GHOST STATION (pages-out stand-in book pictured above, because I checked it out from the library after canceling my paperback pre-order, which was a good call) - ★★ This was very bad. Bad science, stupid incompetent characters, JUST enough neat worldbuilding to make it FRUSTRATING that this missed so hard. I'm bummed because I wanted to read DEAD SILENCE by this author, too, but I don't trust her now :(
ALWAYS COMING HOME - ★★★★½ Loved this!! Dense and chewy, and it required a lot of patience, but it was very rewarding and I'm really glad I read it. My absolute favorite passage was about scrub oaks, but I posted a few other highlights and tagged them as "le guin posting," if you're interested! If you like Le Guin and/or utopias and better futures and/or huge books that push what it means to Be A Novel, check this out for sure.
ARCHANGELS OF FUNK - ★★★½ So. I didn't realize that this was attached to a few other novels she's already written. And I read it cold (oops). Goodreads informed me that it was Book #2 of Cinnamon Jones, and review-diving indicated that REDWOOD AND WILDFIRE is also implicated in its worldbuilding, but that didn't stop me because I can't read. I would like to revisit this one after I've read those other two, I think, but!: The community and vibes and Making Art At The End Of The World were all immaculate, and the character names made me feel vindicated in some of my own naming conventions (seriously: there's an Indigo in this, and a Game-Boy, and Hawk, I can't make this shit up).
Under the Cut: A Note About ~*★Stars★*~
Historically, I have been Very Bad™ about assigning things Star Ratings, because it's so Vibes Heavy for me and therefore Contingent Upon my Whims. I am refining this as I figure out my wrap up posts (epiphany of this month: I don't like that stars are Odd, because that makes three the midpoint and things are rarely so truly mid for me)(I have hacked my way around this with a ½). Here is, generally, how I conceptualize stars:
★ - This was Bad. I would actively recommend that you do NOT read this one, no redeeming qualities whatsoever, not worth the slog. Save Yourself, It's Too Late For Me. Book goes in the garbage (donate bin).
★★ - This was Not Good. I would not recommend it, but it wasn't a total waste or wash--something in here held my interest/kept my attention/sparked some joy. I will not be rereading this ever. Save Yourself (Or Join Me In Suffering, That Seems Like A Cool Bonding Activity).
★★★ - This was Good/Fine/Okay/Meh. I don't care about this enough to recommend it one way or another. Perfectly serviceable book, held my interest, I probably enjoyed myself (or at least didn't actively loathe the reading). I don't have especially strong feelings. You probably don't need to save yourself from this one--if it sounds like your jam, give it a shot! Just didn't resonate with me particularly powerfully. I probably won't reread this unless I'm after something in particular.
★★★½ - I liked this! I'll probably recommend it if I know it matches someone's vibes or specific requests, but I didn't commit to a star rating on Goodreads. More likely to reread, but not guaranteed.
★★★★ - I really enjoyed this!! I would recommend it (sometimes with caveats about content warnings or such--I tend to like weird fucked up funny shit, and I don't have many hard readerly NO's). Not a perfect book for me by any means, but Very Good. This is something I would reread! Join me!!
★★★★★ - I LOVED THE SHIT OUT OF THIS, IT REWIRED MY BRAIN, WILL RECOMMEND TO ANYONE AND EVERYONE AT THE SLIGHTEST PROVOCATION (content warning caveats still apply--see 4-star disclaimer). Excellent book, I'll reread it regularly, I'll buy copies for all my friends, I'll try to convince all of Booklr to read it, PLEASE join me!!
#books of 2024#books of 2024: august wrap-up#ghost station#sa barnes#always coming home#ursula k. le guin#archangels of funk#andrea hairston#le guin is 4.5 stars from me because i will not recommend it to anyone and everyone lol#i mean i think if anyone's interested they absofuckenlutely should#but you have to be willing to approach the book on your own terms i think#hence it's not quite 5 from me#and i'd like to reread it but it won't be a regular reread#i really enjoyed reading the acknowledgements in hairston's book btw#i love seeing where books and stories come from#i'm not sure how much of this one didn't resonate with me as well as it could because i was missing TWO BOOKS OF CONTEXT LMFAO#but i had a good time anyway so i think it's probably pretty good :)#i did spend a bunch of the beginning wondering what i missed and if this was a Me Problem or a Story Decision#(but i vaguely remembered MASTER OF POISONS being the same sort of “dump you in the deep end good luck kid” situation)#so i let it ride#i'm curious about how much cinnamon history is included in SMALL CHANGE (i suspect klaus and marie yes but tatyana no??)#it also tracks why those two books were rereleased in hardback by tor when they were lmaooo#anyway. liked le guin. liked hairston. gonna read some manga next and then vandermeer.#i have to finish my revisions on this scene and swing into nano prep mode SOON i'm giving myself a week to knock it out
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thinking about the parallels between tapenessa and beckory
#it could kill me fr#like. glitchtrap victims who had someone in their life taken away from them#what if vanessa had liked tape girl since middle school and they agaisnt all odds worked at the same place as adults#and vanessa thought wow maybe we're meant to be and then tape girl dies from glitchtrap.#and then vanessa gets taken over next.#like what if tony didnt die and when he came back and reunited with gregory vanessa watched them from the sidelines#thinking about how her middle school crush got taken away from her when she thought her dreams could come true#and she watches how history was almost repeated with gregory and tony but againdt all odds AGAIN. theyre alive and meet again#and if tony did die it would just be a tragedy that greg and vanessa can share#pandas.txt#thoughts#beckory#vanessa#gregory#3 star fam#tony
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Finally returning to Operation: Annihilate
Kid me was extremely freaked out by Kirk's brother dying and Spock being blinded and never touched it again
Coming back as an adult, yeah this is really dark. Not surprised ten-year-old me couldn't handle it, and that comes from someone who always loved angst and would delightedly replay episodes with fakeout deaths since at least age seven.
The aliens always made me think of D&D's cloakers for some reason.
#should I go for one I know is bad next like The Alternative Factor or Assignment: Earth?#I don't really enjoy watching/reading bad fiction for the sake of it but it would be interesting to come from an adult perspective#I definitely want to see what I make of Requiem For Methuselah now#kid me was quite distressed at the idea of an immortal being having actually been multiple famous people in Earth's history#not sure why but it felt very wrong to me... taking away from their real-world legacy maybe?#aside from that I remember almost nothing except the girl being an android
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potentially batshit headcanon, but i think it'd be funny if these two were related somehow.
#i'm inclined to say they're cousins but it'd also be interesting if they were siblings ngl#gustafa hasn't really brought up his own upbringing so far in my playthrough so i'm running hogwild w/ his backstory#i hc that gustafa's parents were classical musicians and pretty strict (very much the types to force what they think is best on their kids)#he felt like the environment was too stifling not only for his music but also his spirit so he left home as soon as he could#he's still proud about his family's history as musicians but definitely doesn't want to raise his kids like his parents raised him#so that's why he's pretty laid back when it comes to raising bea and encourages whatever she loves doing no matter what#wait now that i think about it carter organizes the music festival in mineral town doesn't he?#shit i'm connecting the dots#carter would probably be older than gustafa so i guess he left home as soon as possible too#he just went the route of joining the clergy to get out of town rather than becoming a hippie like gus#imagine going to the next town over to check out their music festival only to be reunited w/ your estranged older bro >>>#you haven't spoken to in like 10+ years#i feel like they'd be okay terms tho they'd definitely bond over how shitty their parents were#okay i'm having fun w/ this headcanon i'm gonna keep it i think#story of seasons#bokujou monogatari#a wonderful life#friends of mineral town#sos awl#sos fomt#sos gustafa#gustafa (awl)#sos carter#carter (fomt)#hc : (sos) awl / fomt#mj.txt
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I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE!
#I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE ABOUT ANYTHING#IT DOESN'T HAVE TO OVERRIDE ALL OTHER PROGRAMMING EVER AGAIN#HA#MY GOD THAT FEELS LIKE TWO DECADES OF RELIEF#and I found out yesterday. that this year. next winter. it IS two decades. exactly. this is the year. every day i am shown new reminders#that keep me going in my mission to relearn to fully and instinctually trust my self#ever since [redacted therapist] asked me point blank and my IMMEDIATE response was complete disbelief#a firm 'you think there's any universe where i'd feel like i could trust myself? after my nonstop history of failures and being horrible?'#tone “No!” of disbelief#and a horrible way-too-harsh laugh that bolted out before I could strangle it off and stop it.#that woman never coddled my feelings any time I spoke something alarming or bullshit and that was so helpful to me#and the tone she let exist in her voice when she responded to me with a very uncharacteristic “Oh Katie.”#was so. so much more agonizing for me. than her responding with an immediate logical slam-dunk of the truth about healthy behavior and stuf#anyway ramble over i'm so tired. i've done so much trauma work this week i am Drained emotionally#now i see what the past several months but especially especially#the baffling (to me) infuriating out-of-control-speedrun-somatic-processing + every-health-condition-flaring slog that December and January#were for me when I hadn't expected anything to be wrong#...and the extremely specific way this certain zone and particular incident kept coming up over and over and over and over and OVER was not#a bug. it was a feature. thank goodness i trust myself for little things now bc that's the only way i was able to get to this other side#and look back and suddenly realize that my subconscious and body knew what they needed and had a plan in progress the whole time. just like#i rationally say I trust them to have and do.#and that perhaps maybe. for real for real instead of just TELLING myself hard enough a lie that i trust my self and i trust my body and tha#they always know their own needs and timing if really slow down and listen to them f u l l y#anyway. yeah. bye haha i need to stop oversharing on the internet#trauma evolution#shh katie#personal#my god. i wished for this day more than i wished for anything else my whole life. all these many many many many years. what magic.#add to journal#abuse
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