#a hawk specifically

[bafflement]

Deaged Oz AU - Unfortunately, it translates...

Oz muttered to himself as he reached the quiet corner of the farm he'd been aiming for. Getting there had taken slightly longer than he'd anticipated, but his cane had been invaluable. He just hoped he'd have the time to fly, he'd felt so useless lately, a drain on Em and Oscar's resources. They said they were happy to host him, but... he couldn't really give much in return, like this. Flying would make him feel better, though.

Concentrating, he blurred into his avian form. Long ago, he'd chosen a Goshawk for the fact they were common, easy enough to overlook, but far from helpless. A smaller part of him had to admit he'd partially chosen it because they had been known to eat Ravens, too. She had rather annoyed him that day.

Stretching one wing, he froze. The wing itself felt wrong, the balance off in a way he'd never experienced before. Craning his head around to look, he was horrified to see a wing that was covered in a mottled brown down, pinfeathers sticking out at odd angles along the length.

This was just too much! Not only was his human form that of a child, but so was his avian one? All he'd wanted was to fly for a few minutes, be free in the air, but it looked like even that would be denied him. He let out a disgusted peeping sound at the thought and was suddenly very glad he couldn't blush like this. He even sounded like a baby bird! He heard, rather than saw, something overhead and blurred back into Oz, feeling vaguely terrified. Well, that was a failed experiment. Best to pretend it had never happened at all...

Several months later, Qrow, looking tired, cornered him.

"Hey, pocketsized? We could really have done with your eyes up there with me. I know you see better than I do as a bird, so what gives?"

Oz sighed, looking very small and very embarrassed. "How old am I, Qrow?" was all he said, sounding strangely defensive.

"Well, yeah, you're a kid, but... wait a sec... you mean?" Qrow started to laugh hysterically at the thought. "You're... a baby... bird? Show... me. Please, Oz. Show me?"

"No. I do not enjoy the feeling of being vulnerable, Qrow. It is already bad enough that I am trapped in the body of my ten year old self. I do not wish something to attempt to eat me. Besides, we're out in the open, nowhere near secure enough to attempt it again." Oz sounded very fed up, glaring up at Qrow who still hadn't stopped laughing.

Qrow kept pestering Oz every chance he got, until Oz finally, reluctantly gave in.

"When we are somewhere safe, and Qrow? You are not to take pictures of this, it's bad enough I have to experience the sensation twice, nobody else needs to know about this."

Qrow just shrugged and gestured towards the house they were staying in. "I'll make sure no big bad predators come and eat ya, pocketsized. But you promised, after all."

Going into one of the far bedrooms, Oz sat on the bed, looking very reluctant. He blurred into the hawk, just as small and just as vulnerable as he had been on the farm. Qrow seemed to melt at the sight, though he was laughing again. Thankfully, Oz could see no evidence of his scroll, so hopefully it wouldn't be recorded, at least? Qrow sighed and stopped laughing, blurring into his own bird form and flapping his way to the bed. Oz flinched slightly at this, but Qrow just tucked one wing protectively around him, drawing him partially underneath the bigger bird. Oz let out a plaintive peep as he was drawn underneath Qrow like an actual chick would be, but he was too small to fight the movement. The sound seemed to shake him out of whatever he'd been thinking, though and Qrow seemed to blink, before moving far enough away not to crush Oz and turning back into the huntsman.

"Sorry bout that, pocketsized. Was kinda instinct." Qrow was suddenly very red, looking stricken.

Oz turned back, too and sighed again, looking strangely conflicted. "I would appreciate you not doing that again, Qrow. Avian instincts aside, I never took you for the broody type." His words were light, but he was blushing just as red as Qrow was.

The incident was never recorded. Neither one spoke about it again.

Eventually, Ruby, too, cornered Oz. "Hey, professor? Quick question, you turned Qrow into a bird, does that mean you can transform into one, too?"

Oz sighed. "Miss Rose... I am currently ten years old. That age translates. Even if I could turn into a bird of some sort, and I'm not saying that I can, that animal would not be useful in any way. Also, no, I will not be feeding into your curiousity. Now please, drop this?"

Across the room, Qrow raised his flask in what was almost a salute, amusement dancing in his eyes. Ruby just pouted, but accepted that she wasn't going to find out any time soon.

[vaguely-concerned]

This might be due to the fact that on my first playthrough I ended up creating a Rook more emotionally guarded than any of the companions except Minrathous-route Lucanis and perhaps Neve, so I was primed to look for it, but I never got the sense that the companions don’t care for Rook (the thought never even occurred to me until I saw other people post about it) — to me it seems much more like it’s Rook who keeps the last bit of distance, Rook who pulls away when the companions try to extend their care or worry too directly, who keeps themselves slightly apart. (Rook who is so full of grief they cannot know as grief and thus process that there’s no room inside them to let anything else all the way in, perhaps.) They deflect and flinch back when someone gets too close or approaches them too overtly about their feelings — especially when it brushes up against the theme of grief. They can offer care to all the companions who are grieving, come along to any number of funerals as emotional support, but the moment someone turns that towards them they shut that shit down Immediately, like when Taash almost gives the whole game away with ‘Like you’d know? You act like you haven’t lost anyone!’ and Rook just blandly responds ‘We’re talking about you’ and doesn’t engage. But they can also admit that they struggle with accepting compliments, or knowing what to say, or having confidence in themselves without Varric’s help.

Despite all their determination and even in their most stoic no-nonsense incarnation, Rook is awkward, with the struggles that entails. Someone who is eager and happy to be the helper wherever they can, and helplessly unequipped to know how to be the helpee, as it were. It’s not that the companions don’t return Rook’s attachment to them, there’s MUCH more of a ‘okay so what are the ways you will allow me to be good to you??’ desperation of care vibe behind all their invitations to conversations and hangouts together, to my mind. They bring Rook to their favourite places and share the things they love with them, they ask to spend time together (many times just to have their company, not because they have a problem they need help with! Sometimes the problem arises anyway b/c video game quest narrative of course), they bring them out for some direly needed grass touching, they introduce them to their families. Everyone is clearly getting the sense that Rook does Not want to talk about Varric especially (this is in fact what Harding says in banter, if she’s still alive after the reveal :’( ), but they are absolutely SCRAMBLING to find ways to show that they’re there for them even so. AND from the companions’ perspective, with the situation as they have the means to understand it, accepting that Rook isn’t ready to have that conversation and backing off is also a kind thing to do. (tl;dr: To Me Rook is that weirdly socialized friend who is a great hang once they’re actually there but you have to directly invite them or they don’t quite know how to initiate the contact themselves lol) 

Just as a crushing sense of responsibility for their family is a trait that is built into Hawke no matter how you play them or how you make them respond to that, I feel like Rook — however helpful and earnest, warm, charming, jocular, stoic or straightforward they seem at a surface glance — is always someone who struggles deeply with connecting to themselves and other people. (Emotional Intimacy, the Final Frontier.) As, indeed, is the case with all of the Veilguard companions too! It’s clearly a deliberate theme. These are all lonely people struggling with their sense of identity and belonging in some sort of way. AND having, working on and eventually starting to overcome these difficulties also makes Rook a direct foil for Solas, who doesn’t learn that lesson unless you corner him at the end of the world to force feed him his medicine lmao. They don’t manage to break out of the regret prison under their own steam, it’s because even struggling and grieving they have managed to create mutual bonds with other people who show up for them in turn now — and with all the protective walls of denial around what happened to Varric crumbling and making them less of a stranger to themselves, Rook is finally able to let them. An outcome Solas seemingly didn’t even consider to guard against, because he’s become that deeply entrenched in his loneliness, the utter isolation of the self — he can no longer truly imagine an alternative. (It’s not that he can’t form these bonds, obviously, it’s that he resolutely refuses to value them. Whether it’s because he feels like he doesn’t deserve it or out of a need for control or the martyr complex where he must sacrifice everything he loves on the sacrificial pyre of fixing his mistakes, all of the above and more, the result is the same. Mind!Varric, who I think is mostly Solas speaking, even calls this out directly. So yet again a situation where he has some self awareness about it and it doesn’t help At All haha. Solas falls to the temptation of making people into tools again and again and again, no matter how many times it comes back to bite him in the ass and the eternal solitude it traps him in.) 

And that deep deep loneliness… There but for the grace of… well the theological state of thedas being what it is right now, let’s just go with the grace of Something, Presumably go you as well, Rook. The same capacity/tendency to pull away from connection clearly lives in them as well in some form (again, for whatever reason and with whatever motivations and instincts behind it for any individual Rook). Solas and Rook coming together to create a blood magic paper doll of the mind Varric in response to acute loss and loneliness is one of the most deep , deeply fucked up and invasive acts of intimacy I’ve ever contemplated. I don’t think that’s accidental, there’s something There’s Something Wrong With You (there’s something wrong with you that’s also wrong with me (derogatory)) here that resonates no matter how both parties would hate to hear it. (A fitting legacy for Varric and his wild ‘I made my best friend into a story because it’s the only way I know how to love with this desperation of sincerity’ brain to leave in the narrative, methinks. I feel he’d appreciate it on a craft level, if nothing else.)

If you read through all of Rook’s potential backstories, one of the common threads through all of them, along with a certain maverick ‘I’ll do whatever it takes’ streak, is a sense of profound alienation. They did something or have some sort of quality that made it hard for them to fit in with the group they’re from, causing a conflict that cuts them off from parts of their identity as it’s been up until now. All of which also adds to how important Varric is to them — he was clearly able to break/see through some of that and be closer with them, even in the relatively short time they spent together. No matter what else goes to shit, they can trust that a) Varric sees them, b) he genuinely likes them and believes in them not despite who they are, but for it, and c) he’s got their back, we’re in this together kid. And then he is gone, and it takes them the whole game to be able to bring themselves to accept that and know themselves again, be able to let new relationships in fully. The very understandable ‘the last time I let someone in, they got stabbed before my eyes and the world ended’ flinch away, even if they’re not consciously aware that’s what it is. Anyway I love Rook. So much space to play around in here as to WHY they might feel or react like this, even when the framework is more defined.

[sinful-karateka]

Fed, nourished, skin clear, hair luscious. This has to be one of their best hugs in the whole show.

[moodyvoid]

Twice wanting to meet Hawks after Dabi brings him to the PLF mansion.

Twice: “Can you introduce me to your friend Hawks?”

Dabi: “He’s not my friend. Just go say hi to him or something.”

Twice: “Okay, but how? Is there a certain way I should approach it—“

Dabi: “You’re overthinking it. Just go. Make a good impression.”

Twice, nodding and walking away: “Good impression, good impression, good impression—“

Hawks, pausing as Twice walks up to him.

Hawks: “Hey.”

Twice, doing a Dabi voice: “I’m Dabi and I’m soooo mysterious. One time my nipple piercing got caught on a towel and Shigaraki had to decay the towel to get it out.”

Hawks, snickering: “You must be Twice. Nice to meet you.”

Twice, giving a thumbs up to Dabi.

Dabi, glaring: “I don’t sound like that.”

Toga (who was watching the whole thing): “Yes, you do.”

[heich0e]

thinking about asking a man who is only very barely repressing his yan inclinations "how do i look?" before the two of you leave the house to go out and how that works out for you

[mysicklove]

putting eyeliner on boys so that you can watch it smear when you fuck them to tears >>>>>

[mourn-and-watch]

ah yes. a spectrum of my current most relevant obsessions

[littleprincefan]

ethan hawke enjoyers of tumblr dot com please watch Hamlet (2000). its by far my favourite hamlet adaptation i've watched (of the three i've watched .) it also has julia stiles giving a Great performance as ophelia . plus Look At Him

[rainbowreindeer]

Scrolling through The Character's tag and assessing everyone's takes like I'm the associate professor of My Blorbo studies with a PhD in Understanding Media

[crows-of-buckets]

Every day I mourn the fact that Anders and Morrigan have never (and will never) interact in canon. I want to see what happens SO bad.

Morrigan who enjoys pissing people off and generally just pokes and prods at peoples insecurities versus Anders who has never taken a chill pill once in his life

They're sitting at a table together and Morrigan keeps saying shit about old magic and dark rituals and old gods while Anders is white knuckling his chair to keep himself from leaping over the table and strangling her

[bardengarde]

I JUST COMMISSIONED THIS BEAUTIFUL AND TENDER BEEJHAWK PIECE FROM MY FRIEND @doodlehistory PLEASE BE INSANE ABOUT IT WITH ME

[lesbianspeedy]

whats this? ITS ARROWFAM AS REDUCTRESS HEADLINES PART FOUR

[danielnelsen]

so we know that anders is terrible at playing the lute, but varric’s ‘chapter ???’ of hard in hightown suggests that m!hawke is also terrible at playing the lute

lads maybe you should just move orana’s lute out of your bedroom

[vaguely-concerned]

every so often, varric will write a black fox story. not anything fancy or for publication or anything, just for fun and because he knows hawke has a soft spot for them. ("an intrepid hero getting into and out of all kinds of trouble and the merry band of misfits following inseparably in his wake? can't imagine why".) some of them are experimental, some of them are straightforward retellings; they're generally pretty short and quick to do, so he allows himself to play around with form and genre and language more than he does in his professional work. stretching over the span of almost twenty years as they do, they contain some of his favourite pieces of his own writing, and some of the most '...was I huffing lyrium fumes or drunk or both for this one, hawke? what the actual hell is this' pieces. hawke keeps every single one of them. varric speculates that this is either because they're just that sentimental, or possibly that it's for future blackmailing purposes. he usually has one ready for their birthday. they have so much blackmail material on him anyway by this point, he figures, what's one more piece of ammunition going to do one way or the other.

varric finishes one of these black fox tales a couple of nights before he brings rook with him to minrathous — the last one. it's about the very last black fox story, the one where the black fox and his friends all disappear together into the depths of arlathan forest, where those in the know say you can find them to this very day, if you know where to look, or if you ever find yourself in trouble and in need of a helping hand. they'll turn up to aid a traveller in need, and disappear back between the shaded trees again once the day is saved, squabbling all the way, seeking treasures and unlikely quests yet unfound and unimagined.

they say on some days, you can hear them as laughter and friendly bickering on the wind from a couple of clearings over. it's not the end, it's just other adventures, some other place. that's the thing about stories. they're funny that way.

(once he wrote a book for his mother on her deathbed and read it to her through the comfortless and drawn-out hours of the troubled nights, and he burned the book the day she died and never spoke of it again.)

after he finishes the manuscript, he sits with it for a long time in the quiet and the candlelight before he wraps it up properly and sends it off back home to kirkwall. he attaches a note -- a story, to the best of all my stories, the one I'd tell forever if I could. take care of each other while I'm gone. first one to arrive saves seats at the bar, right? happy birthday, and send all my lack of love to the merchant's guild, as always. —Varric

he sends that to hawke. just in case. and then he gets up and he goes to find rook — it's time to get going.

[biserker-kadan]

Do you think after all is said and done, Rook gets a random letter to meet in some dark dank bar in some backwoods town in the middle of the night and walks in with curiosity and scepticism, one hand on their blade to find the fucking Queen of Ferelden, a very random mage with red paint over their nose and the Inquisitor all sitting around one table.

'Welcome to the annual meeting of 'You saved the world and all you got was trauma and more responsibility', have a drink.'

[tethrarisms]

Unpopular (maybe?) opinion but I wouldn't mind spending days on end just talking and doing small missions for my Dragon Age companions. They're so meaningful to me, I enjoy their banters and relationships even further than any combat and/or map exploring.