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sashi-ya · 4 years ago

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Vampire!Law or werewolf!Law?

Hi, hi! I used to be obsessed with vampires back then. Never seen/read Twilight, though. But still. I didn't know if you wanted something NSFW, so I included some, not that explicit just in case. I hope you like it ♥. I loved the prompt so I'd probably be extending this story, perhaps with more OS someday!.

Vampire! Law x Reader.

Countryside town AU. No gender description. Everybody is 18+. No spoilers. TW: Blood. Slightly hurted animals. Kind of blood play. Soft NSFW. WC: 4.4K AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31552169

Drawing done using a base from: deviantart.com/shadow-bases

It’s a cold night, puffs of steamy air coming out from your mouth as you quickly walk to your parents’ house. The moon shines in between foggy clouds that cover a dark sky. You regret the moment when you accepted going out, plus everything around seems a little threatening. You are used to the city you were living in until now, and somehow forgot the feeling of living in your hometown. But, your old friends wanted to see you, and you couldn’t just say no.

The old town you were born in seemed to have never evolved. Since the day you left your parents’ house and moved to campus in the big city, the town has preserved its own style, the same houses, the same old shops.

Reddish dried leaves crunches under your feet, and some crickets sing in the dark. You grab your phone just to check the hour. 00:00. You are a little bit tired; you’ve been driving the whole day to get there, but even though you were exhausted your old friends insisted on celebrating your comeback to the nest.

You are about to get to your house, when a sudden noise creeps the hell out of you, but you realize it’s just a cute white cat. “Hello kitty, you scared me!”, you say as the little cat comes purring. You crouch and pet it, after all it was too cute to not play with it.

“Bepo… Bepo… where the hell are you?”, you hear a man’s voice that comes closer. “Are you Bepo?”, you ask the little kitten and try to see what his collar says. “Bepo!!, there you are!”, a young man says with a gravelly voice.

“Oh, excuse me!”, you tell him as he comes closer to grab the white ball of fur. “Oh no, it's ok! I was about to go to sleep and I was looking for him. Did you scare her/him/they, Bepo?”, he says, approaching you, bending down and petting the kitten’s head.

The clouds move allowing the moonshine to bathe his face, revealing refined face features. A straight but snub nose, white pale skin, black spiky hair that ends up with sideburns, a goatee, and intense grey eyes with very dark circles were his main features. He was the most handsome man you’ve ever seen in your life so you stay caught on his face for a little while.

A cold breeze blows your hair and somehow a chill runs through your spine, as you hear the sound of wind chimes dancing along on the front porch of a wooden house. “Do you live in this town? I haven’t seen you before… I mean, I’m kind of new into town though…” he says to you with a smile while lifting the cat on his slender, pale and tattooed hands.

You stand up and say “Oh, uhm...I’ve recently graduated so I came back to my parents’ house to work with them, I used to live here, though”. “Oh, I see! Nice to meet you! My name is Law”, he says while extending his hand to you. You hesitate for a second, but then you say “Nice to meet you Law, I’m Y/n”. You shake hands, and realize how cold his skin is, almost as if he was somehow… dead?.

The encounter is disrupted by your dad, who got worried of you not arriving at home and opened the door to see if you were coming. “Y/n! there you are!. Oh, hello young man!, How are you?”, your father says from the front porch. “Goodnight Mr. Y/sn, everything alright! What about you and your wife?” Law says waving at your dad. “She’s inside a little worried for her pancake, that I see you’ve already met!”, your dad tells him while laughing. “Dad… I’m ok, go inside, I’ll be there in a minute”, you say to him, embarrassed.

“Nice to meet you, Law. Have a good night”, you say petting the little cat. “Have a goodnight too, Y/n-ya. I hope I could see you again”, Law says, giving you a side smirk. You nod and walk away.

You flop onto your bed, tired, exhausted. You close your eyes, total darkness until… his eyes… Those crystal grey eyes are the only thing you can see, and then they turn to yellow. And you wake up with a big gasp to the smell of blood.

“What the fuck was that?”, you say, agitated. An orangey sun ray filters from the windows of your teenage years room and hits directly your face. You block the sun with your arm realizing soon it was already morning and today you start working on your old family farm as a vet.

“Good morning little pancakes!!”, your dad greets you, as well as your little brother. Your mum is cooking those delicious breakfasts you used to have when you were younger and you sit on the table, pleased and filled with your family’s love.

The day passes with you meeting all the animals on the farm, you even have to take care of a wounded horse. “Don’t worry Violet, it’s just a little blood, but your leg will be fine”, you say to a black spotted mare that has been jumping on the field and somehow hurt his leg.

At noon, your childhood best friend sends a text telling you that tonight you two should go to “Shambles Bar'' - the one and only bar that has ever been there since you were born - to have fun since it’s Friday. You agree, not because you were a fan of partying but because you missed those old days before you left for uni.

“Leeeeet’s go party like the old timeeees, babeee” your best friend shouts at you while jumping on your bed. “hahaha stop it, you are going to break the bed!!”. You both laugh, get ready and head out.

You pass next to Law’s house and try to see if he is at home, but it seems as if no one is there. “Oi, do you know Law?” you say pointing with your thumb to his house. “Law?”, your best friend asks confused, and continues, “You mean the vampire guy who lives there?, yeah. Why?”. “Vampire guy? what do you mean?” you ask, half confused, half curious. “Haha, the guys call him like this. I mean, have you seen how pale he is? and those dark circles? He looks like he is dead. Plus no one has seen him during the daytime. Ever. But how do you know him?”, she tells you. “Oh, yesterday, his cat, Bepo, came to me. He was looking for the kitty and we happened to talk”, you tell her with a tone that tries to downplay the topic. “Oh, I see. To be honest I don’t even know what he does for a living so I don’t have any more info. Maybe Luffy or Zoro know him, you can ask them tonight”, she says. “Yeah, maybe”, you say and change the topic.

A few drinks after and you and your friends are already dancing to the sound of country music and the humble light system of the old bar, when the same image of those eyes of your dreams flashes before your eyes and a sudden smell of blood hits your nose. You stand still for a moment, scared. “Babe, what is it?”, asks Nami, one of your friends there. “Uh.. n- nothing”, you say confused and keep dancing.

A few seconds later, someone is touching your shoulder from behind. Your friends stand still for a moment with a subtle scared expression, but the touch of that hand felt warm for you, even as if some type of power was running through all of your body.

“Y/n-ya?”, a well-known voice calls you, and you turn around. There he was, Law, “the vampire guy” as your friends call him. “L-Law?”, you say slowly smiling when you see his pale face. “What a coincidence, huh?. I mean the town is not that big…”, he says, and you finish his sentence with a “yeah, and this is the only bar…”. You both laugh and for some seconds your eyes are fixed onto each other’s.

“Oi, Torao! you wanna drink with us?” says Zoro, inviting Law to our table. “Yeah, thanks, Zoro-ya”, he tells him. You all sit and ask waiter Beca to bring you another round of drinks. Law sits next to you.

Sanji, another friend of yours, asks you “You two already know each other?”. “Kind of”, you say laughing a little blushed. “Y/n-ya met Bepo, first!” Law tells your blond friend, laughing.

An old song you and your friends used to dance as “your song” starts playing on the jukebox and you run to the dance floor. You can’t help but gaze at where Law is just to see if he is watching you dance. And he does, he is looking at you, with a smile on his pretty face. Your cheeks turn to red, but you are way grown up to act like a teenager, and decide to invite him to dance. You are driven somehow to him, you don’t really know why, but you are.

“Law, do you wanna dance?”, you tell him, extending your arm as you were calling him to the dancefloor. “You too guys, come here!!” Nami shouts to your friends.

Law stands up and walks to you. Smiling, he incorporates to the circle and starts dancing. He doesn’t dance well, but you just don’t care, you either after all.

A slow song starts to play, romantic also. Robin, another of your friends, tells you that the song is called “I Hear a Symphony”, and that Law should dance with you. You look at her, widening your eyes trying to tell her to stop, but Law grabs one of your hands and tells you “May I have this dance?”. You giggle a little, I mean why is he talking like a prince?, but then you just let yourself go and accept his offer.

The pale guy puts his other hand over your waist and you two start dancing to that pretty melody. For a moment you feel as if you were dancing into a castle, like in another century.

Interlocking your eyes, you start to think that coming back to your hometown wasn’t that bad and somehow you feel as if everything around you disappears. For an instant you believe to see his eyes change colors, from that crystalline grey to an intense brilliant yellowish color, but this time you don’t get scared. You feel attracted more and more to him, as if something invisible was pulling you towards him.

The touch of his hands feels cold, really cold, just like the first time… “is it because it’s almost winter?”, you think. Law is looking at your lips, neck, and something on his expression shows as if he was willing to devour you. And frankly, you too… you lost yourself looking at his mouth, he has it barely open. He has prominent canines that show through the little space in between his lips, and you remember your friend's words “the vampire guy” ...

The slow music is over, and now pop blasts on the bar. The couples part and you all come back to your table. It’s already 2 am, and you all feel exhausted from working all day - except Law, who seems to be really energetic -.

“Well, my dear friends, I’m not a teenager anymore, I think I’m coming back home now”, you inform your friends, to which some of them reply protesting and the others supporting the motion.

“If you want to, I can walk you home. I mean, we are neighbors”, tells you Law. Something inside you says “oh no darling, you are going fast”, but your mouth simply slips a “Oh, thank you, that’d be fine”.

You grab your coat, and head to the door followed by your deadly crush. None of you two say a word the first few steps. Tonight, is even colder than yesterday, but your cheeks are so red, full of blood that you don’t seem to notice the freezing breeze. “He is going to think I’m desperate, like he is the hottest guy I’ve ever met, but still… calm down Y/N”, you say to yourself, while walking thinking about what to say to break the ice.

“The moon looks pretty tonight, doesn’t it?”, he says to you, timidly. You look up to the sky and contemplate a big full moon with reddish tints on its hue. “Oh, I think it is the eclipse they were talking about on tv last night… the “red moon” ...”, you say, but got interrupted by Law, “Yeah, a “blood moon””. The way he said that, felt almost as threatening, but you look at him, and there he is, smiling at you with a friendly face.

You remember you still don’t know shit about him, so you ask him, “Oi, Nami told me you moved into town a few months ago, what did it bring you here?”. He stops for a moment, looking at the ground, but then sketching out a fake smile he tells you, “I got bored from the city, so I moved into the countryside… but to be honest I came mainly because I heard that pumpkin pies here are delicious”. You look at him, because that sounded like a terrible lie but you chose to believe it and when you were about to ask him about what he does for a living, he interrupts you, “Well, it looks like we are already home”. “Oh, yeah, I haven’t noticed, ha-ha”, you say, a little bit annoyed because you wanted to ask him more questions, but mainly sad because the walk was over.

“So… goodnight”, you say to him while fidgeting back and forth with your feet. “Goodnight…” he says. You are both facing each other, and you nor Law are moving. He got his eyes fixed on your lips, and you wish he would just kiss you.

Slowly, little by little, Law approaches his face to yours, closer, closer, until... he stops himself violently. You get scared, but you don’t move a single muscle. “Why… why you… why do you smell like blood?”, he says gasping.

“W-What?”, you ask him confusedly backing up. “You, you smell like blood… have you… your arm…”, he says, snatching your forearm. Suddenly, you remember this morning, you cured Violet, and some blood got spilled on your forearm but you washed the area and took a bath right before going out. “How did you know?”, you ask him.

He remains silent, trying to calm down. “I’m… I’m sorry I have a really sensitive nose”, he says and continues, “Why don’t you go to sleep, we can talk tomorrow, it’s pretty late now. Goodnight”. He says and runs to his house.

You are left there, and for a moment you just can’t process what just happened. “What the fuck, Law?”, you think. A cold shiver on your back announces to you, you should go back home and go to bed. There was no point in staying there.

You snuggle on your bed, still trying to understand but the exhaustion your body felt wins and you fall asleep. Again, those eyes, the smell of blood, the cold touch, you can see, smell, feel it all… “Y/n! pancake!!! wake up!!!”, you hear your dad shouting at you. You open your eyes violently, “What??? What happened dad??”. “The cattle, some… something attacked them…”, he says horrified. “What?” ...

You get dressed and run to the cowshed. A poor steer lays there, he has been attacked by some kind of animal… with fangs, and the poor thing looks like he has lost some blood. Luckily he was still alive, so you helped him instantly.

“Pancakes, what are those wounds on the neck the animal has?”, your dad asks. “To be honest, dad, I don’t know. It looks like some kind of animal has bitten the steer, but didn’t eat it… it looks like… has drunk some of his blood…”, you say to your dad astonished even more than him. “But, what kind of animal could do such a thing?”, he inquiries. “The only ones that could do it are the Desmodontinae, or vampire bats… but they are not typical in this hemisphere…

The incident quickly spread and everyone in town was talking about it. Luckily the animal recovered in a few hours, as the wounds weren’t that bad.

You can’t stop thinking about Law, and quickly you forget about the animal incident. He has been on your mind all morning, “why did he run away?” ... That afternoon you decide to go see if Law is at home, you really need to ask him about last night… Plus, deep inside you are a little bit annoyed, you wanted him to kiss you…

You ring the bell of the wooden house, but there is no answer. Since the blinds were all shut down, you think that he must be at work.

Suddenly little Bepo appears meowing from the backyard. “Hi Bepo!! Is your daddy at home?”, you ask the little cat while ruffling his head fur. The cat rubs on your leg and then walks back to the backyard, so you decide to follow him.

If Law isn’t at home you could perhaps take a look at his patio. You are curious and he represented a mystery you wanted to decode, really bad.

At first you think you’ve seen someone looking at you from one of the windows of the house, but you thought it was just your imagination. You trespass private property.

The patio showed nothing but a bucket on one of the corners, next to an old mossy bench. You follow Bepo, and as you are approaching the metal pail that has something red inside, your phone rings. “God damn!!”, you jump scared. The phone screen shows an unknown number calling, “That’s weird”, you say and pick up. “Hello?”, “Hi!, Y/n-ya, it’s me, Law. I’m sorry to bother you but I wanted to apologize about last night”. Law… LAW! You realize you are still in his yard so you quickly leave the place and start walking home. “Don’t worry, I guess it must be a little intimidating to be with someone that smells like… blood”, you say. A silence takes the call but then Law simply laughs -again, a fake laugh- and tells you that he will call you later to compensate you for last night. You agree and say goodbye.

You close the door behind you leaning over it, gasping. Your heart races. What if he knows you’ve been stalking his house…? “I’m such a creep”, you say to yourself, and go to your room.

You spend the afternoon in your backyard with your mum, October is about to end so the fall season is at its peak. Maple leaves fall from a big tree next to your porch and garnish the patio with its coppery colors.

That night, your parents and brother were invited to a party in the next town, so they won’t come back until the next day. After a hot meal you go to sleep. You haven’t received any messages from Law yet and you wonder if you should text him or just let him do it first. You finally decide that he should be texting you first, so you snuggle in bed and close your eyes. For the third night in a row, you dream with those eyes, with the smell of blood. But, this time it's so intense that you awake instantly in the middle of the night. “Again?”, you say while brushing your hand over your eyes.

Suddenly you hear something knocking on your window… “Law?!”, you say, gasping. He mimics something similar to an “open please”. Your bed is next to the window so you are still sitting there in your pjs, so you stretch to open the window.

“What are you doing here?”, you ask him while helping him to enter. Law sits on the bed and tells you, whispering “I’m sorry, I was missing you, I really, really needed to see you… plus I told you I wanted to compensate for yesterday”.

A subtle light from the moon illuminates half of your faces, and you are speechless. “So, this is how he plans to compensate for running away last night? He is on my bed… he looks so sexy… damn”, you think. But Law starts acting innocently, and begins to ask you about the trophies on your shelves.

You tell him about how good you were at volleyball when you were in high school, and he tells you that he was too. “Where did you take that picture?”, he asks, pointing to an old photo you had pinned on the cork board. “This one?” you say, and when you grab it the side of the paper cuts your finger softly but enough to make some blood sprout. “Ouch!”, you say and you are about to take your finger to your mouth when Law grabs your wrist violently. “L-Law?!! What are you doing?”, you tell him, scared trying to unfasten from his hand. Law doesn’t speak, he starts to tremble, he is breathing fast, he is squeezing your wrist.

“Let me go, Law!” you say, but he doesn’t hear. He is somehow focused on perhaps staying still, trying to avoid something. He suddenly looks at you, his expression resembles a beast, beads of sweat run through his temples. His eyes change from grey to a bright yellow, his pupils dilate. His prominent canines are now true fangs.

Law is salivating, his veins are now visible on his forehead, you can see how his blood pumps faster. You can’t understand what the hell is going on, but for some reason you don’t scream. You concentrate on his eyes, you are able to see a remaining humanity in them, so you are far from scared.

He lets go of your hand, and kneels on the floor. Law is panting soundly; he is fighting against himself. “Calm down”, you say to him. He looks up to you, with tears in his eyes, still emitting guttural sounds. He is surprised to see how your face doesn’t show terror, nor contempt. You don’t know why, but you are even more attracted to him, dangerously attracted. You were willing to let him drink your blood if he wanted to…

With a smirk on your face, you say to him, “Blood is what you want, huh?”. He opens his mouth, and a pair of sharp fangs are shown. He shakes his head, he doesn’t want to hurt you, but he needs you. “I trust you; I know you won’t hurt me. You can drink from me”, you offer him. You know he is able to stop, and somehow everything makes sense. The poor animal this morning, he has just drunk a little blood but didn’t inflict mortal wounds to it. If he was that considerate to an animal, he will probably be with you too. -Or that is what you wanted to believe-.

He swallows, and still trembles and without any warning he pounces on you. Your back hits your bed and he's over you. He fixes his eyes on yours and asks you, "are you sure about this?". "Uhum", you nod. You are so desperate for him, that you probably consider yourself a beast more than him.

Law buries his fingers on your cheeks, and violently moves your head to the side, exposing your neck. You feel a few drops of saliva that falls into your skin from his mouth, and see how he approaches your neck.

He bites you, but even if it hurts, he is drinking your blood from your carotid so subtly, so carefully. A few seconds later, he stops. Some of your warm blood runs from the wound onto your bed.

"T-Thank you…" he says, planting a soft kiss over the little holes on your skin, caressing your hair. "You are welcome", you say, almost naturally as if being bitten by some kind of beast was something you always do.

But suddenly, you start to experience some kind of pressure on your chest, and breathing becomes difficult. Your eyes roll back, and you feel different. You look at him, trying to understand what is going on, and he simply brushes his tattooed hands over your face. "Don't worry, it's normal. You are not going to turn into… me. But, a little bit of me runs through your veins now…". He says, brushing his hand over his mouth trying to clean the mess your vital fluid has left on his lips.

You are not worried about becoming into a vampire or whatever the hell he is, but because you are experiencing a strong need to touch him, to kiss him, to fuck him. "Kiss me", you command him.

He looks at you, still settled over your body and your lips meet. His tongue invades your mouth, and you can taste the metallic rests of your blood on his mouth.

Without separating your mouths helps you take off your white -blood stained- shirt and then you do the same with him. His torso shows a big design inked on his skin, and a few wounds.

His fangs subtly scrape your skin, from your neck, to your chest, lower through your stomach. He spreads your legs with his strong arms, and softly but enough to leave some marks, bites the skin of your inner thighs. The feeling of those fangs softly ripping the first layers of your skin made yourself squirm in pleasure.

His yellow eyes fix on yours, and now he is devouring your sex. You throw your head back and surrender to his skilled tongue movements. What follows next is an extremely hard pounding session, that leaves you trembling, exhausted, sore… but satisfied.

Since then, every night you let him slowly drink you up, drop by drop, giving to him a bit of your life every time. Your eyes slowly changed colors, first a little patch of yellow, then half of your right iris…

A deadly, dangerous attraction, that won’t last forever… or maybe, if you decide to let everything aside and turn into a full vampire like him… who knows? maybe your obsessive love for him would end up changing your life… forever. ♥

#trafalgar d law x reader #trafalgar law #trafalgardwaterlaw #trafalgar one piece #trafalgar d. water law #trafalgar law x reader #trafalgar law x oc #one piece #law one piece #law x y/n #law x reader #one piece x reader #one piece x you #one piece x y/n #one piece x oc

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whumpzone · 4 years ago

Text

Tomas and Rowe - Part 6

Hope you guys all enjoyed my (almost) cliffhanger last week! This chapter is the longest so far, and I worked very hard on it, so if you get whumperflies please let me know!!! <3

Next chapter might take a bit longer what with uni starting again soon but I will do my best to keep it to once a fortnight at the LATEST. so we’ll see!

Masterpost

taglist: @sola-whumping @just-another-whumper @oceanthesarcasamfox @looptheloup @briars7 @black-polarf @zipadeedooda-drabbles @just-a-raccoon-with-wifi @rosesareviolentlyread @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @jazz-0307 @kestrelsparverius @whumpsy-daisies @whumpersworld @memoriesneverforget @sky-or-something-idfk (aka my loves. if you want to be tagged just ask!)

CW: pet whumpee, aftermath of torture, creepy whumper, general violence, panic attacks

The door handle turned. Rowe whimpered. He wished it would just fly open, slam against the wall, hurry it up. He’d been curled up in his room ever since Master Tomas had casually mentioned that he was going grocery shopping, and Kasia would be coming over to get some work done. Rowe had felt the blood drain from his face, not him not him not him, I want to be good, I’ve tried so hard to be good for you Master-

“I’ve had a really stressful day at work,” Kasia said as he stepped into the room, in a low voice that made Rowe go cold. “Stand up.”

Rowe didn’t hesitate. “Take your shirt off.” He complied. “Arms behind your back.” He did as he was told.

“Wow, you really are pathetic, you know that?” said Kasia. “And I deal with a lot of Pets.”

Kasia took a few more steps towards Rowe until he could smell the cigarettes on his breath. He took Rowe’s face roughly and stared at him. A calloused thumb ran over his lips, making the hair on the back of Rowe’s neck stand up, and still Kasia just stared. Rowe kept his eyes on the ground, trembling.

“You’re so…,” Kasia laughed, “I can’t believe I gave my mate such an ugly Pet. And he hasn’t even hit you, has he? You must think you can just relax and walk all over him.”

Rowe shook his head, minutely but firmly, blinking away tears. No, no, I won’t relax, I won’t get comfortable. I’m just a Pet, I got tossed out, I’m worthless. Serving my Master is a privilege. I won’t forget.

Rowe was grateful for the discipline. He could get so caught up in why Master Tomas wanted him to do something, when really his place was as an obedient Pet. Not questioning, just accepting. He needed this reminder.

“Even looking at you annoys me. You don’t deserve an owner like Tomas.”

And then the first punch came, hard, sudden, into the side of his ribcage, and Rowe’s vision blinkered as he buckled and fell to the ground.

“Seriously? You’re on the floor after one punch? I thought I could have some fun beating you down.”

Rowe’s arms shook as he tried to push himself back up, his chest throbbing with every shallow breath. Kasia stamped a boot onto his back and he thumped against the ground, gasping as Kasia pressed harder and harder until Rowe was squirming, trying desperately to make his limbs work again, but the thought of being disobedient was enough to make his body limp. He could feel the barely-healed wounds on his back opening up. It was like being whipped all over again. The weight momentarily lifted from his back, only to come down far harder. Rowe’s jaw clacked sickeningly against the floor and he bit his tongue, hard. Pain exploded in his mouth. He moaned weakly and Kasia delivered a savage kick to his ribs, in the same place he’d just been punched.

“How’s your nose, Pet?” Kasia said roughly, grabbing his hair and pulling his head back until Rowe’s eyes met his. “Healed any?”

“I-it’s, agh, p-please, I d-don’t know-”

Kasia lifted Rowe’s head higher, and he suddenly realised with a rush of nausea what was coming. Fear overtook him as he cried out.

“N-no, no, please- don’t! No!”

It felt like a twisted version of déjà vu as Kasia crushed Rowe’s face into the floor, making him howl in pain. His nose was making horrifying crunching noises. Rowe cried desperately, hitting his fists off the floor to force himself not to grapple Kasia’s arm, not to do anything that might anger him further.

All of Master Tomas’s kindness, the ice pack and the painkillers and the gentle towel cleaning blood off his face, all of it was undone in a few seconds. Rowe wept harder at the thought of it. Master had wasted so much on him.

Kasia eventually let go and Rowe choked as he lifted his face, blood streaming into his mouth. The pain was so bad he could hardly think. He pushed himself up, turning to face Kasia and save his back any more pain.

“Please-” he sobbed, “please d-d-don’t-”

“Bit late for that,” laughed Kasia. “You’re fun to mess around with. I feel better already. But I can’t beat you too bad or Tomas will notice.”

“Wh-wh-what if h-he asks about my n-n-nose,” Rowe stammered out.

Kasia smiled at this and casually knelt down over Rowe, straddling him heavily. He grabbed his neck with one hand and pinned him down. With his other hand he slid a thumb over Rowe’s eye socket and held it there. No pressure, yet. Yet. Rowe forced himself to be still, and good, and take it.

“If you tell him,” began Kasia, digging his thumb in slightly. Blobs of grey fuzz appeared in Rowe’s vision. “I’ll not only make you regret the day you were born-” his thumb pushed in harder, “-I’ll also tell him you’re lying and he’ll throw you out-” and harder. Rowe started to whimper in fear, “-and then I’ll make you my Pet full-time. And I won’t hesitate to chop off and rearrange and reshape any part of you I dislike. Like your eyes, for instance. Or your tongue. Or your fingers. Do you understand?”

Rowe could barely breathe with Kasia’s full weight upon him. He couldn’t nod, couldn’t move his face at all while the thumb in Rowe’s eye made his entire head felt like it could burst with pain. He whined pathetically with his last bit of breath. Kasia looked at him solidly and for a second Rowe thought he really would gouge his eye out, but then Kasia took both his hands away and patted Rowe roughly on the cheek as he gasped.

“Good boy. So how did you get these injuries? You clumsy thing. You’ve busted your nose again and, well, you’re gonna have a bruise on your ribs.”

“I-I walked into a door, sir.”

“Yeah, you did. Now get up and clean the blood off your face.”

. . .

Tomas bustled through the front door and nudged it closed with his hip, his hands full of shopping bags. ‘’Kas? You’ve not burnt the place down then?’’

‘’Not for lack of trying,’’ came the reply as Kasia walked over and took a few of the bags. ‘’Let me get some of those. You feeding the five hundred?’’

Tomas smiled sheepishly. ‘’There’s a lot of food I don’t think Rowe’s tried yet… have you seen him at all?’’

‘’Nope. Heard him pattering around upstairs, though. Slammed the door pretty hard at one point. I didn’t go up to check on him, I hope you understand. I just figured, if he’s that nervous around you…’’

‘’Yes, yes, of course. Don’t worry.’’

‘’Well, I’d best be on my way. You know, your house is wonderfully quiet. Don’t hesitate if you need me to watch it again, please. I could get so much more work done in a calm place like this.’’

‘’Thank you so much, mate. I’ll let you know, yeah,’’ Tomas said warmly as Kasia grabbed his jacket and headed off.

He had barely closed the door when he heard light footsteps coming down the stairs. Tomas turned to see Rowe kneeling before him in his usual position, with his forehead to the floor. He still found it unnerving, seeing this frail man, covered in scars and bruises, submitting before him. ‘’Welcome back, Master Tomas.’’

‘’Hey, Rowe,’’ Tomas said, crouching slowly and reaching out a hand to the back of Rowe’s head, watching for a reaction. Rowe didn’t flinch, or stiffen- in fact, he leaned into the touch. Tomas ruffled his hair gently. Before he could invite Rowe back up, he spoke again.

‘’Master, please allow me to handle the cooking tonight, a-and any other chores you need me for.’’

‘’Oh, o-okay,’’ said Tomas. ‘’Um, well you can certainly join me in the cooking. I don’t want you to have to do it all yourself. And here, let me help you up.’’

Rowe began to unfold himself and Tomas held out a hand. After a moment of hesitation, he slipped his fingers between Tomas’s and let him take some of his weight as he stood. Tomas frowned in pity as he saw Rowe’s face- a neat bandage lay across his nose. Small bruises had formed under each eye- which was something a broken nose could cause, according to the internet. They looked deathly against his pallid skin. Rowe saw him frowning and Tomas felt the hand he was holding go stiff.

‘’P-please, Master, let me cook for you. I-It’s the least I c-can do.’’

He looked so… terribly sad. ‘’You can help, Rowe. Um- Kasia said he heard something slamming upstairs? Did you do something to your nose?’’

‘’I- I walked into a door, Master. I was foolish and careless and s-stupid. Please- please punish me for my ugliness.’’

‘’Aw, Rowe,’’ Tomas murmured involuntarily. ‘’You don’t look ugly. I wouldn’t hurt you over something like- I wouldn’t, I mean, I wouldn’t hurt you at all. I’m not going to punish you. Have you been worrying about that?’’

Rowe’s eyes dropped and he slowly nodded.

‘’Thank you for telling the truth. I don’t think you’re ugly at all.’’ It seemed to be something that was concerning him, so Tomas added, ‘’If I do, I’ll tell you, okay?’’

Rowe’s shoulders loosened and looked up at Tomas again. ‘’Yes, Master. Thank you.’’

Crisis averted? Tomas thought. ‘’Okay, great. Let’s start chopping some veg.’’

. . .

Rowe sliced the knife down harder as he hands trembled. He was doing his best, he really was, he was trying to just be fucking useful for once, but he was so on edge with Master Tomas so near to him. Rowe was constantly checking over his shoulder, so he could be ready for the first slap or punch. The knife in his hand reminded him of the times he’d been made to bring his master the tool that would be used to punish him.

Rowe was holding a weapon. An instrument for causing pain. Once again he wished he could be normal, wished he could be a good, blank, Pet, instead of one that couldn’t even chop vegetables without thinking about all the ways the knife could cut and slice and open and chop off- chop off- like Kasia had said-

Rowe’s head spun. He felt sick. Kasia wasn’t here. It was only Master. He was the one Rowe should be worrying about. Master could do as he pleased, Rowe repeated to himself, over and over. If Master wants to use the knife on me, I’ll let him. Of course I’ll let him.

. . .

Tomas stirred the stock cube absent-mindedly, his back to Rowe. He had tried to put enough space between him and Rowe to, hopefully, make Rowe feel a little more at ease. He watched as the hot water swirled around his spoon. The sound of rhythmic chopping behind him told him that Rowe was working diligently.

. . .

The carrot seemed to bend and stretch before him as Rowe tried to gather his thoughts. He was okay, he was okay. He hadn’t angered Master, not yet. So far, he was mercifully being ignored. Rowe looked back down and held the knife firmly.

The little coins of carrot were mostly even. Rowe hoped that would be good enough.

. . .

Tomas gently scraped in the onions and garlic and let them simmer. He rolled up his sleeves as the kitchen warmed up.

. . .

The knife was so sharp. Rowe was staring at it as he worked, not even looking at the vegetables, just watching the blade, waiting for Master to turn around and yank it out of his hand and order Rowe to his knees. Why did Master keep saying he wouldn’t hurt him? Rowe wanted to believe it every time, and every time it took longer for him to snap out of it. He moved his fingers out of the way at the last second as he brought the knife down shakily.

. . .

Tomas turned around. ‘’Rowe-‘’ he began, taking a step towards him. Rowe jerked in surprise and spun to face him.

. . .

The knife was still in his hand. He’d been so startled by Master Tomas suddenly being right there behind him that he had gripped it harder reflexively as he turned. Rowe stared down in horror. A long, thin cut ran along Master’s exposed forearm, all the way to his hand. Tiny drops of blood were beginning to form.

And then Rowe’s mind went blank.

. . .

Tomas easily caught Rowe as he fainted. The knife bounced off the floor and Tomas kicked it out of the way. The cut was superficial, and sure it was a surprise, but it hardly hurt. Still, he knew enough to realise how grave this was. A Pet hurting their owner. His stomach twisted at the thought of the beating that would have earned Rowe in the past. No wonder he passed out.

He gently laid Rowe on the couch, grabbed some kitchen roll, and wrapped it around his arm. Perching on the armrest, Tomas let himself look at the man in his care.

He could see long scars along his thighs, like he’d be belted while kneeling. Deep red scrapes, cuts and sores ran around his wrists, the scars of old restraints. His chest was rising and falling evenly, and his face looked soft. Relaxed. Tomas watched his fingers flick minutely, his lips part as he breathed. He wasn’t screaming. He looked peaceful for the first time since Tomas had got him.

And then… Rowe stirred. A groan rumbled in his chest as he rolled his head, and Tomas quickly put a hand to Rowe’s cheek to stop him grinding his nose. This made Rowe’s eyes finally twitch open, little by little then all at once when he remembered what had happened and saw Tomas sitting over him. He cried out, he hands scrambling to find purchase as he pushed himself away, tumbling off the sofa and ramming his forehead against the floor so hard that Tomas heard the crack.

‘’Oh, God, please!’’ he cried, his voice cracking as sobs and gasps racked through him, ‘’P-please Master I’m so, s-s-so sorry, I’m so sorry, I w-w-would n-never, I, I mean, I d-don’t, I w-was trying so ha-ard to be good-‘’

‘’Rowe, it’s okay,’’ Tomas blurted out, raising his voice. He grabbed his shoulders and lifted his head up off the ground. Rowe’s eyes were bright with fear like Tomas had never seen before. It was so intense that he let go of his shoulders reflexively and Rowe shrank into himself, trembling before his owner.

‘’I swear, I s-swear I c-can be better, Master, I ca-an, please please don’t s-send me back, I-I’ll take any pun-nishment like- like a good Pet, I’ll be g-good-‘’

‘’Rowe-‘’

‘’I-It w-was an accident, please Master p-p-please believe me, I wo-would n-never do some-something like that, I’m begging you-‘’

‘’Rowe, I’m not going t-’’

‘’Please,’’ begged Rowe hoarsely, tears rolling down his cheeks, and something in his voice made Tomas stop and listen. ‘’Please, Master, please, I can’t- I don’t know why you want me to b-b-believe that you wo-won’t hurt me, but I can’t d-do it, I just wa-want to be good s-s-so bad and I ca-an’t, I k-keep messing up a-and you never hurt me and I j-just want to be good, I w-want to be good I don’t want to- to get thr-rown out and I need p-p-punishment, Master, please…’’ he gasped.

‘’I’m not….. you are being good. You’re being really good.’’ Tomas felt his heart breaking.

Rowe’s sobbing was becoming weaker and weaker as he ran out of energy. He stared up at Tomas with eyes that were sparkly and wet. He looked utterly broken.

‘’I just want to get it over with, Master.’’

‘’No, I’m not going to punish you,’’ Tomas said seriously.

‘’I’m begging you,’’ he cried, his voice cracking. ‘’I can’t- I can’t take this waiting a-anymore! Please, Master, please, I want it, l- let me throw myself at your mercy, I w-want to be punished f-for my disobedience, please treat y-your Pet the way I d-d-deserve, I’ll take anything for you Master, please beat me, please cut me, please whip me, pl-‘’

‘’Rowe, stop! Stop it! Stop it, please, stop,’’ Tomas shouted. Rowe fell silent immediately with a whimper. ‘’I know- I can see that’s what you thought I wanted to hear. I understand. But I’m not- this isn’t a test, or a game, okay? You don’t need pain to be good.’’

Rowe kept his mouth shut, flinching as Tomas sank down next to him.

‘’All this time you’ve been waiting for a punishment that never came.’’ Rowe nodded. Tomas exhaled deeply as he thought. Rowe needed order, and he followed rules diligently, and Tomas had fucked up by leaving Rowe in limbo with no idea when he would be punished. At least now, he had let Tomas know what was distressing him. A punishment would give him a bit of comfort, in a twisted way. ‘’Okay, Rowe, I will punish you.’’

Rowe burst into fresh tears, pressing his face to the floor. ‘’Th-thank you, thank you Master, thank you, thank you, thank you.’’

Tomas gently took Rowe’s chin and lifted his head. Was this just putting off the difficult conversations until another day? Or was this an act of mercy, relieving the mental suffering Rowe had been putting himself through? Tomas decided on the latter. Screaming at Rowe that he wouldn’t hurt him while Rowe shook and cried and begged didn’t seem very productive.

‘’Firstly, since you gave me this cut it only seems fair that you bandage it up.’’

‘’Yes, Master,’’ Rowe choked out as he ran upstairs to get the first aid kit. Tomas sat back up on the couch and peeled off the kitchen towels that were now sticky with blood. Rowe returned, discarded them, and got on with dressing the cut. Rowe’s hands were still as he pressed the anti-bacterial wipe against his Master’s skin. The bandage wrapped around his arm was neater than Tomas had ever seen before. He had to bite back the praise he wanted to give Rowe- this was a punishment, he reminded himself. He steeled himself to deliver Rowe’s punishment.

‘’I’m going up to my office. Finish cooking and bring it to me, then wash up and tidy the house. While I’m working tomorrow, stay out of my way and don’t disturb me. The only time I want to see or hear you is if I ask you to do something, which you will do immediately. Understood? You can speak freely again in 24 hours.’’

‘’Yes, Master Tomas,’’ Rowe whispered as he hurried to the kitchen counter. Tomas took himself upstairs and buried his head in his hands. He hated how good he was at sounding stern. He hated how unnatural it felt. He couldn’t shake the fear that he was undoing all of the progress Rowe had made.

#just as a note... tomas has given rowe permission to use any first aid he wants #but i couldnt mention it without it sounding SUPER clunky lol #mine #whump #pet whumpee #pet whump #tomas and rowe #master/pet #whump fic #aftermath of torture

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jeon-googi · 5 years ago

Text

Soulmate

— pairing: Bang Chan x Reader

— genre: Slice of life, Romance

—Synopsis: You return home from college one summer and are reunited with your childhood best friend Bang Chan. After not seeing each other for years, how will this summer turn out?

— words: 5.3k

— rating: SFW

— warnings: Seungmin being an evil wingman and a rowdy game of truth or dare.

— notes: Hello everyone I now am a fan of Stray Kids! Something about summer vibes on the beach with the boys really got me thinking and this came from it! The whole soulmate section was from this twitter thread about Chanlix I 10/10 recommend. I also didn’t proofread because I never do so sorry!

You weren’t really expecting to go back to your hometown over the summer. In all honesty, you were planning on a two month road trip with your best friends, Senior year girls trip they said and yet somehow last minute, everyone's lives seemed to pull in different directions. Your family was more than happy to have you back home over the summer, but you were a little bummed you weren't doing anything to commemorate your last summer before your senior year of college.

You watched out the passenger window of your mother's car, speeding down the familiar rodes of your childhood. A fond smile found itself on your face as you got lost in the nostalgia, It had been awhile since you had returned home, and surprisingly, it did seem you missed it a lot. Your mother chatted excitedly beside you, plans she had for you all and what not, but as you zoned back in you heard her voice ask you a question.

“Hm?” You asked looking back at her. Your mother huffed as she rolled her eyes.

“Chan and his parents are coming over for dinner tonight, so you’ll need to freshen up. His friends are coming as well.”

You sat up quickly, “Chan? Like, Bang Chan, that Chan?” You asked, a little surprised. Your mother nodded, “Yes and they are so excited to see you after all these years! Chan especially. He still always made time to come over even when you were gone. His friends come over as well, they are such a nice group of boys.” Your mother added, not helping your nervousness. Your family had lived on the same street, in the same house, since the day you were born. It was the same story next door. The family next to yours had a son, the same age as you and you both had become an inseparable duo. Y/n and Chan. You and Chan grew up together all the way until college, when he decided to stay and attend your hometowns university while you traveled abroad. You couldn’t lie, the day you left Chan felt like your heart was torn in two, but over time you healed. Gradually the two of you had minimal contact, and then none. Now at the sudden news of seeing your once best friend made your heart race.

The car soon pulled into the driveway of your house and you spotted the gathering of neighbors who seemed to be waiting for your arrival. You grinned as you hopped out of the car quickly, giving friendly waves to the once familiar faces of your childhood. You smiled even wider spotting your father, barbecuing in the yard as you lunged yourself into his arms. It felt better than you’d like to admit, being home with your family like this. You heard more familiar voices and recognized them as Mr. and Mrs. Bang, you smiled at you lovingly.

“Y/n my dear! You’ve grown up so lovely.” Chan’s mom smiled, giving you a tight hug. His father nodded as you gave you one as well, “It’s great to see you again Y/n. Chan should be around here somewhere, but I’m sure he’ll find you.”

You nodded, a little on edge. You had at least wanted to prepare to meet Chan, but that didn't seem to be on the table. Would he still be the same Chan you remember? You doubted it. It made you nervous, who has he become in these past few years? You both didn’t mean to lose contact, but with the pressures of school and new found social lives, you just lost touch.

Is he mad at me? The thought crosses your brain in a panic, your family ushering you into the house so they could start the meal. Friends and neighbors flooded the halls of your home and you gave smiles to everyone, until you could hear rowdy jeers from the living room. You turned the corner to find a group of guys sitting in front of your families TV, aggressively playing Mario Kart.

“Hyunjin is cheating! There's no way he can keep getting these blue shells!” A blonde boy yelled, while another side eyed him, you imagined that one was Hyunjin.

“Well if Chan could stop red shelling me I wouldnt have to blue shell you Jisung.” Hyunjin stuck his tongue out at Jisung but you faltered as a voice turned your head.

“Guys calm down, she’s gonna be here soon.”

His voice was deeper than you thought it was going to be, and it sent chills up your spine. There he was. Chan was blonde now, but his hair still had that familiar curl to it. His shoulders seemed to be larger than you remembered and he looked even taller. The guys mumbled as they started to pack away their game, but you stepped out from behind the corner, clearing your throat.

“I mean really, you guys don't have to stop for me.”

The group whipped their head around to gawk at you, shifting in your spot. You gave a shy wave as you met Chan’s eyes, his staring wide back at you.

“Bro you didn’t say she was this hot.” Jisung interrupted, breaking the silence, earning a swift headlock from Chan. The air seemed to grow lighter as they stood up, walking over to greet you.

“Hi Y/n we heard a lot about you, we're Chan’s friends and we also frequent your house because your mom’s cooking is delicious.” Hyunjin smiled as you shook his hand.

“Nice to meet you, and thanks for keeping my parents company.” You smiled as you greeted the rest of the group. The last one was Chan. He walked up to you shyly rubbing the back of his head, his hands raking through his hair.

“Hey Y/n.” He said simply, a side smile on his face. From the social atmosphere you had with his friends, you were surprised by his sudden awkwardness. “Hey Chan long time no see.” You smiled, rubbing your arm. He didn't make an advance to hug you or shake your hand, but rather settled for a pat on the shoulder. “I think your dad finished cooking, let's go eat!” He said more so to the group as he led the way to the kitchen, you trailing behind. You were now definitely confused, but you decided to try and make the most of the night. Turns out, Chan’s friends were amazing. You found yourself laughing with them in the backyard as they told you about their adventures with Chan and what they know about you. Chan had become friends with the others during their first year of uni, and they all had been inseparable.

“He’s so much different than the Chan I remember.” You grinned, earning oooh’s from the group. “Tell us Y/n what was he like before you left?” Seungmin asked. You tapped your chin thinking, “He was always a big crybaby, he worried so much whenever I wanted to go have fun.” You glanced at Chan who seemed to roll his eyes. “Plus he wasn’t blonde. I like it.” You added, earning a quick glance from him. Chan seemed to loosen up as the evening went on, returning to the Chan you imagined. The party went great, and gradually people started to take their leave. You started to help clean up the back as you felt a tap on your shoulder, turning around to see Felix. “Hey Felix whats up?” You smiled as he helped you collect plates. “Well tomorrow, the guys and I, we're all gonna go to the beach and I just wanted to know if you wanted to tag along?” You had to admit, there was a part of you that was sad it wasn’t Chan inviting you, but you were still excited for the adventure. “Sure I’d love to!” You grinned, Felix smiling as well. “Awesome well here, that’s my number, but I’m sure Chan will pick you up to meet us!” You nodded as you put his contact info in your phone and waved goodbye. The only ones left was your family and Chans, all lounging in the house. Chan stood in the kitchen, bent over the sink doing the dishes. You smiled, walking up behind him, frowning as he took a quick step from you.

“Hey Chan umm Felix invited me to go with you guys to the beach tomorrow...that's okay yeah?” You asked with a raised brow. You could see his eyes flicker from your profile to the dishes as he gave a quick nod. “We're leaving at 8am.” He said quickly as he dyed his hands, taking his leave to the living room.

His behavior was definitely odd now. Shrugging it off you finished cleaning as you heard Chan and his family getting ready to leave. You smiled as they hugged you once more, commenting on how beautiful you had gotten, and you gave a final wave to Chan as he gave you a half smile. You shut the front door, the exhaustion from the day sinking in as you retreated to your old childhood bedroom. Collapsing onto the bed you found yourself falling asleep within minutes.

You were awoken to taps on your window. Small at first but then growing more and more persistent. Groggily, you sat up in your bed, rubbing your eyes as you headed to the window. On the lawn was Chan, a frown on his face. “Y/N c’mon we gotta go!” He called, motioning to his car next door. Gasping you checked the time, seeing it was already eight in the morning. You opened the window, “Give me like ten minutes I’m so sorry!” You called out, fumbling in your suitcase for some clothes for the beach. In record timing you sprinted down the stairs, waving to your parents as you flew out the door, jogging to Chan who was heading to his car.

“Jesus Chan I’m so sorry I overslept-” You looked at the car as he opened the door, a smile stretching your face. “You still have the jeep!” You grinned, quickly hopping in with a familiar ease. During highschool, Chan worked at the local pool every summer so by senior year he could have a car. It was a red beat up jeep, but he loved it immensely.

Chan seemed to be in a lighter mood than he was last night, as he nodded with a light smile, “Yeah I haven't had the heart to get a new car.” Turning the ignition, the jeep started as he started to back out of the driveway, one hand on the back of your seat as we watched the back for incoming cars. Soon you both were on your way. You fiddled with your hands on your lap, glancing at Chan from the side. He did seem to be in a better mood, maybe you could talk?

“Last night was super fun! Your friends are so nice.” You smiled, earning a nod from Chan. Then silence. It was almost suffocating how awkward it was, so you glanced at the floor of the jeep to see cases of Cds littering the ground. There was one in particular, a blank CD colored with sharpies which you recognized instantly.

“You still have our CD?” You asked, astonished. Chan cleared his throat as he refrained from making eye contact. “Well yeah..you made it for me in what like..middle school?” You nodded happily, putting the disc into the cd drive, familiar tunes of your childhood started to pour into the car. You laughed as the wind blew through your hair, singing along to the nostalgic songs, and even happier when Chan started to softly sing along as well. As if the weight had been lifted off of your guys’s shoulders, you both screamed along to the song, laughing with each other and returning to the sense of comfort you had made in one another.

“You had me scared Chan! You were acting so weird last night!” You huffed, earning an apologetic smile from Chan. “Sorry Y/n, but in my defense it had been years since we’ve seen each other, I wasn’t sure how we could just click like we used too.” He admitted and you nodded. “Well I’m glad we're good now, right?” You asked. He gave a swift nod as he pulled the jeep into the beach parking lot, “Definitely.”

From the car you could already see the chaos of Chan’s friends on the beach. One umbrella was up but they managed to set up a volleyball net and had coolers or drinks and food. Hopping out of the car you collected your bag and sprinted to the beach, the cheers of the others making you run faster.

“Hey guys!” You panted, out of breath from how fast you were going. The others gave you high fives and pats on the back as they took your belongings into the shade.

“There are drinks and snacks in the cooler, Changbin set up volleyball for us too!” Hyunjin grinned as he showed you where everything was. “Wow this looks great guys!” You laughed as you kicked off your shoes, relishing in the hot sand beneath your toes. Some of the guys had gone into the water and noticed the gathering so started to head back. “Hey Y/n!” Felix called, brushing his wet hair back and giving you a friendly wave. “Hey Felix! You smiled, offering him a towel from the pile nearby. He happily took it as he started to dry himself off by you, water droplets splashing onto you. “Hey stop getting me wet!” You warned which only caused a mischievous smirk to grow on his face. “Oh yeah?” and before you knew it, you had been lifted from the safety of the sand and into Felix’s arms. “Felic I swear put me down!” You laughed as he spun you around, walking dangerously close to the oncoming waves. Both your guys’s laughs could be heard along the beach, causing Chan to look up from unpacking the extra drinks he brought.

“They look oftly close.” Seungmin commented, much to the dismay on Chan’s face. “Yeah I guess so.” Chan mumbled, setting down the last of the beverages. “What if Lix likes her Chan? What will you do?” Seungmin mused, picking up a can and opening it. Chan whipped his head towards him, “It’d be fine. Felix is one of my best friends and so is Y/n-” Seungmin interrupted, “You told us all how Y/n was like your little sister. I think you know that’s not true. I’d rethink your feelings before Lix gets in too deep.” and with that Seungmin jogged over to the volleyball game, leaving Chan alone with his thoughts.

You and Felix cackled as he held you over the waves, which were up to his knees now.

“Felix put me down or else there will be consequences!” you screamed as the waves started to get dangerously close to your feet. Felix raised a brow at you as his grip started to loosen on your body and before you could stop it, he dropped you in the ocean. Quickly standing up you glared at him, splashing him with all you could. Your laughter seemed to attract the attention of the others and soon one by one, everyone was in the waves.

The sun hot against your skin as you all tumbled on the sand, watching the others from the shore. Jisung was up on Changbins shoulders, while Minho rested on Chan's shoulders, fighting to knock one another over. With a shove Jisung managed to topple Minho into the cold water, his arms high in victory.

“I challenge you Y/n! Get on Chans shoulders!” You stopped as you heard his request. This was a game you and Chan played all the time as kids, but as he said before, things were a bit different now. You walked to the shore, looking at Chan for any signs of discomfort. He gave a shrug, “Seems we’ve been challenged Y/n. Let's show them.” You grinned as you waded into the water near Chan. His shoulders were definitely broader than before, all those years of swimming taking an effect on him. Carefully Chan grasped your hands as he went below the water, your legs carefully situated on his shoulders as he rose up. You squirmed at how high you were, but felt a hand on your thighs.

“It’s okay I got you.”

You tried to glance down at him to see his face, but Jisung charged at the both of you, Changbin surging through the water. You grinned as your hands collided with Jisung’s, shaking between the both of you.

“C’mon Chan push harder!” You called, feeling yourself slowly get closer to Jisung. As the two of your shoved each other back and forth, finally, with all your power, you managed to land one hard shove against Jisung. His eyes widened as he lost his balance, falling into the water. “We did it Chan!” You grinned, waving your hands in the air as everyone cheered. Chan laughed as he patted your leg before signaling he was letting you down. You smiled up at him, your heart fluttering because this was the Chan you remember.

This was the Chan you loved.

High fiving each other, you both made your way back to the shore where Felix stood, holding out a towel for the both of you. “Thanks Lix.” Chan smiled as he took it. You nodded your thanks as well, wrapping the towel around your shoulders. As you walked back to the picnic, you playfully nudged Chan’s shoulders. “I’m glad I get to be here with my best friend again.” you admitted, playing with your wet hair. Chan glanced down at you with a smile, “Me too Y/n.”

The rest of the day was spent playing games and simply relaxing on the beach. Soon the set began to set on the horizon, the sky turning orange and red.

“Well we actually brought stuff to make a bonfire. If you guys are down?” Jeongin offered, earning nods from the group. Together you and the others began to slowly craft a small bonfire, it wasn’t spectacular but it kept you guys warm as the night cooled down. Everyone huddled by the crackling flames as the banter passed back and forth.

“All right all right now let's get to the interesting stuff.” Jisung stood up, commanding the attention of everyone. “Hyunjin truth or dare.” Everyone groaned and rolled their eyes at Jisungs as he shook his head, “C’mon guys it’ll be fun!” Hyunjin thought for a moment before answering coolly, “Dare.” Everyone oooh-ed as Jisung grinned evilly. “I dare you Hyunjin, to swim in the ocean.” Hyunjin looked at him with furrowed brows, “Is that it? That's pretty easy-” “Naked.” Jisung added quickly, causing everyone to burst into laughter. Hyunjin scowled, but stood up, taking a running start to the waves, bits and pieces of clothes flying off. Your head turned to follow but your eyes were covered by a large hand. You stifle a laugh, “Chan I’m not five.” Chan huffed behind you, “Yeah but they forgot a girl was here.” His hand radiated heat on your face and suddenly you could tell how close he was to your back, the hairs on your neck standing up.

You could hear a splash, and a scream and you quickly moved Chan’s hand, seeing Hyunjin neck deep in the water, waving back at the group. Jisung rolled his eyes, “Yeah yeah alright let's move along, Seungmin your up.” Seungmin grinned as he glanced around the group, “Alright...Felix truth or dare.” Felix who sat a few spots away from you glanced up..”Uhhh truth.” Seungmin frowned as the group jeered, “C’mon pick dare!” Felix groaned as he waved his hands, “Fine fine dare then you bullies.” Seungmin grinned, a glint in his eyes. “Felix I dare for you...to kiss the prettiest girl here.” The air seemed to stand still.

Wait...you're the only girl.

Seungmin grinned as he saw the shocked expression of you and Felix, “Notice how I didn’t say prettiest person, because I would have smoked all you bitches.” The group seemed to laugh it off, the energy crackling as they waited in anticipation. Felix sighed as he moved slowly, making his way over to you. A tight hand gripped your arm as you glanced back at Chan who quickly removed it, “Oh-uh sorry.” You felt more nervous without the contact as Felix gave you an apologetic smile. “Hope this is okay Y/n.” You nodded, a reassuring smile on your face. Felix gently put a hand on your cheek as he glanced at you. His eyes seemed to wander past you before returning to your face where he leaned in gently. Your eyes fluttered closed, but rather than a sensation on your lips, Felix gently placed a kiss on your forehead. He retreated back with a cheeky smile, a loud groan coming from everyone. You gave a sheepish smile, a bit relieved at his choice as you moved back into your seat. “You didn't say where I had to kiss her.” Felix shrugged as Seungmin glared at him. You tried to take a glance at Chan, but he simply smiled at the interactions of his friends as he sipped his drink. You flinched when a hand found yours in the sand, but you relished in the sense of familiarity without even having to look at who it was. Seungmin rolled his eyes, “Alright Y/n, your turn truth or dare?” You grinned, giving an apologetic shrug, “Truth.” Again Seungmin with the evil glint in his eyes, “Have you ever wanted to date Channie?” Your eyes widened as you coughed, your drink burning the back of your throat. All the boys leaned in, shit eating grins on their face. “W-what? I mean..” You were too afraid to look at Chan. “I’ve always liked Chan. We’re best friends. I have a lot of love for him.” You stammered, Seungmin grinned as he shook his head, “Tsk tsk Y/n lets just make this a yes or no question.” You panicked, nervously shifting in your spot. “I mean..if I dated him it’d be weird right? We’re like siblings?” Seungmin nodded at your answer. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t love him!” You quickly added, the group cackling at the blush on your face. You were too nervous to look at Chan as the game went on, your feelings in a jumble as the game stretched into the night.

The night went on with games and trouble and soon, everyone was yawning from exhaustion. Gradually everyone started to pack up their belongings retreating back to their vehicles. You wished everyone a good night as you and Chan hopped into the jeep. The ride back was quiet, but not in an uncomfortable manor, just one of exhaustion. You rested your head on the door, the wind chilling your body. Chan glanced around the car as he reached a hand back, pulling out an old jacket. “Here.” He smiled, gently placing it on you. You smiled as you grabbed the fabric and snuggled into it. “Thank you Channie…” Your eyes couldn’t seem to stay open as Chan turned the music up gently. The gentle weight of his hand rested on your legs curled up beside you. It felt too natural. Being with Chan here like this, with his friends, driving with him. You’d be lying if there had never been a part of you that loved Chan. He was your other half, your best friend your entire childhood. Were you allowed to have those same feelings now, years later? The love you had for him, was it even romantic? Your thoughts became quiet as you focused on Chan, softly singing along with the song on the radio, his voice low and rhythmic.

Hopeless, hopelessly romantic

You, you got me stranded

Your hand moved from propping your head up to reaching for Chan’s, your fingers easily interlocking. Chan’s thumb gently brushed your knuckles as he pulled down your guys’s street, quickly entering the driveway to his house and putting the car in park. Without disturbing you too much, he exited the car as you sleepily sat up looking around for him. Your door opened softly as he stood there, shifting in his spot. You watched him with heavy lidded eyes as he brought his arms out to you. You smiled, a warm and fuzzy feeling in your stomach as you put your arms out to him as well, Chan carefully scooping you out of the car. He seemed to have no trouble holding you and finessing his way through your front door. He eventually found your room where he laid you down on the bed gently. You hummed happily basking in the soft comfort of your sheets as Chan took a seat on the floor beside your bed. The room was dark but you could feel his head resting on the mattress as he closed his eyes. You watched him carefully from your spot before moving beside him, your head facing his. Using light fingers, you traced his features with feather like delicacy, Your traced his nose and cheeks, up to his hair and his jaw. He was the Chan of your childhood and someone you didn't know all at once. His eyes gently fluttered open watching you from the side of his eyes. “What are you doing Y/n?” He asked softly. You shrugged, your hand continuing to trace his face. Your hand danced from his ear to his chin before gently landing on his lips. You let them stay there for a split second longer than intended and you halted as you felt his hand grab yours, pressing his lips to your fingers. His head turned to look at you as he let your hand go, slowly pulling it back to yourself. “What are we Y/n?” Chan asked softly into the darkness of your room. Your heart sped up as your answer immediately tumbled out of your mouth.

“We’re best friends.”

“Are we?”

Chan paused as he glanced at you. “Before you came, I told all the guys how you were my best friend, like a sister too. Then suddenly you were here and-” Chan moved so his hand gently landed on your cheek. “You were here, and I realized you were more than a best friend to me, after all these years.” He laughed a bit, “And it didn’t help too much that Felix seemed to have taken a liking to you.” Chan pulled his hand away much to your dismay as he sat up straighter. “And I’m sorry if this ruins us. Our friendship. But I just...I don’t want to just be your best friend anymore Y/n. As selfish as that is…” he laughed gently. You watched him with wide eyes, as he stood up in the darkness of the room, leaning down to place a soft kiss on your head. “I don’t want your answer now. Think about it. Good night Y/n.”

You were left all alone in the dark.

The smell of breakfast was what woke you up. Your stomach growled hungrily as you made your way downstairs, your family seated at the breakfast table. “Looks like you had fun yesterday,” Your mother smiled as she served you a plate. You smiled, the memories of last night replaying in your head. Especially Chan’s confession. “Hey mom-” you asked as she nodded, alerting you she was listening. “Did you ever think..did you ever think Chan and I would date?” Your mother paused before laughing wholeheartedly. “I mean of course we did, Chan’s mother and I even thought you’d both get married! It was quite a shock you both lost contact.” She admitted. Your heart lurched in your stomach, so you weren’t the only one who wanted this to happen? Your mother smiled sympathetically at the confusion on your face as she placed a hand on your shoulder. “Sometimes Y/n, there's a person in the world who knows you better than anyone else. Someone who inspires you to become a better person, someone you’ll carry with you forever. Chan was the person who knew you and believed in you before anyone else did. No matter your feelings, he will always love you and nothing could ever change that.”

Your heart started to pound in your chest, everything becoming very clear to you.

You knew you loved Chan. What you didn’t know was that it was this kind of love.

Grinning you stood up from your chair, quickly running to the front of the house, tugging on your shoes. “I’ll be back!” Your mother chuckled as she waved, the front door slamming shut. “She just realized she loves him, didn't she hun?”

It takes 10 seconds to run from your front door to Chans. Which was not enough time for you to formulate what you were going to say as you already rang the doorbell. Luckily it was Chan’s mother who opened the door. “Y/n dear! What can I do for you?” Your heart was in your throat as you gave her a smile, “Is Chan here?” She smiled and shook her head, “He went for a run down to the beach, he usually spends his mornings there. Feel free to take a bike and head down there!” You smiled your thanks, locating Chan’s old bike on the side of the house. Quickly you rode down the road, thankful for this time to yourself. What were you going to say? What if he was upset? What if he regrets what he said? The beach was approaching quicker than you anticipated. The cool ocean breeze gently blowing through your hair. The entire shore was empty, but you could make out one figure close to the water. Setting the bike at the start of the sand, you moved as quick as you could, a dumb grin on your face. “Chan!” You called out, watching him turn around with a shocked look on his face. He was still far away enough he had to yell out, “Y/n! What are you doing here?” You laughed as your legs picked up speed, he was here. He was happy to see you.

Once he was close enough, your arms wrapped around his neck tightly, causing him to stumble back onto the soft sand beneath you too. You let out an oomph as you landed on his chest, a laugh emerging from both of your throats. You stared down at him, a confused smile on his face. “What's going on Y/N-” “Chan I love you.” You interrupted. He stopped, his mouth open as he searched your face for any signs of joking with him. “I’ve always loved you. You’re my soulmate Channie.” Chan's eyes glossed over at your confession as you lowered your head down, resting your forehead against his.

The waves crashed against the shore as you two stayed like that for a while, simply wrapped up in one another. You placed soft kisses on Chan’s nose and cheeks as he happily closed his eyes. He then chased your lips with his own, smiling against you, his hand rising up to cup your cheek. “I couldn’t help falling in love with you.” Chan whispered to you as you both sat on the beach together, hands intertwined.

What is a soulmate?

Sometimes, it’s like a best friend but more.

#stray kids #skz #stray kids fanfic #stray kids x reader #skz bang chan #skz chan #chan x reader #bang chan x reader #chan imagine #bang chan imagine #stray kids imagine

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glitterslag · 5 years ago

Text

First Time for Everything - Roger Taylor x Reader

Summary: In which Roger inadvertently becomes co-parent to a four year old before he’s even finished university. Oh, and he loses his virginity in the process.

Word Count: 8k

Warnings: single mum, broken family, bad relationships with parents, difficult sexual themes, period typical attitudes, homophobic language, poverty, some angst. Smut (virgin!roger, oral - male and female receiving -whipped cream), some language

A/N: First of all I wanna say thank u to the absolute lejond who requested this: you really unearthed a kink I didn’t know I had.

This, as usual, has turned into a bit of a Whole Other Thing. I’ve wanted to do a single mum oneshot for a while, and thought it would go really well with virgin Rog. Plus Roger with a toddler = automatic cuteness.

As y’all know I struggle with writing smut, and so I tend to quit while I’m ahead. Because of that, I’ve only included oral, and not the whole shebang. Plus, I felt like it was in keeping with the tone when Roger finds himself a bit overwhelmed with all the new sensations. I think we’d all agree that that still counts as losing virginity, though.

I’ve got to say I’m really proud of this. I think it might be one of my favourite things I’ve written since “Funny How Love Is”. It would be great if you could give it the same kind of feedback 🥰🥰

Enjoy xo

★★★★★

You had Robbie at sixteen.

Your parents sent you away to a Catholic institution for the duration of your pregnancy, as people often did back then, such was the scandal of being found out pregnant and not married. They had wanted you to give him up for adoption when he was born but you refused, and after meeting her grandson, your mother had relented.

They’d given you a little money to set yourself up, but insisted that you couldn’t stay with them. Too much shame on the family. You sometimes speak to them on the phone but it’s always strained, especially between you and your mother, and you always end the phone call feeling just a little sad, and empty.

Now twenty, your little boy is nearly four, and you’re living in a box flat in a tower-block in the middle of London. Roger’s just moved in next door.

He’s a student, just moved out of halls, making him the same age as you. It’s a strange realisation, to look at him. Realising that your life could have turned out a lot differently, had Robbie never been born.

You’re expecting him not to be very nice. People usually aren’t, not to a young single mother. Not one whose dye-job comes out of a packet, and who lets her four-year-old tricycle up and down the wooden hallway at all hours of the day. But he’s positively lovely.

That’s what Robbie’s doing, when Roger moves in.

“S’cuse me, little man.” He says, holding a cardboard box aloft as he waits patiently for your son to get out of his road. “That looks fun.”

And then:

“Hello,” he’s saying to you.

You feel him check you out, eyes travelling from your face down and then back up, and then back down again, all the way this time. The routine you know too well. You get it from nearly every man you meet. He doesn’t leer at you like most men, though, and you think to yourself that that’s something.

“Get out of the man’s way, Robbie.”

“Is your big sister bossy?” Roger asks him knowingly.

You swallow and start to say something.

“She’s not my sister, she’s my mummyyy!” Robbie declares before you can, throwing his hands up in the air.

You laugh and scoop him up. There would come a time when he might not be as proud to say that about you anymore, but for now, he would remain blissfully unaware that his unmarried twenty year old mummy wasn’t supposed to have a three year old baby.

Roger looks at you hard for a second, and you cuddle Robbie to your chest as you wait for his response, almost using him as a shield in in between the two of you, nervous. But there’s no need to be.

“Oh. Sorry.” He says easily, quickly disguising any judgement with a sunny smile. He sticks his hand out. “I’m Roger. How do you do?”

★★★★★

Over the months, you two develop a close neighbourly relationship. He comes over to fix your leaky taps, change lightbulbs, rewire the smoke alarm. As you get to know and trust him more, you eventually entrust him with Robbie some afternoons when you have appointments – doctors and dentists, things you can’t avoid.

One day, Roger’s complaining about his hair becoming too long and his roots showing and so on, and so you offer to do it for him, free of charge, as a favour. He says yes.

If he’s feeling dubious, he never shows it.

You come over that afternoon armed with all your gear, and when he opens the door Robbie charges past him shouting “Rogerrrrrrr!”, disappearing into the flat before Roger can even say hello.

“Have you got an old t shirt you don’t mind getting ruined?” You ask, eyeing the silky button up Roger’s wearing halfway undone to his belly button.

“Sure,” he says. “I’ll go and get changed.”

The door to his room is open a fraction, and you peep through the crack as you watch him pull his shirt over his head and search for another one. He’s standing with his back to the door, and you admire his wiry physique, lean muscle rippling as he shrugs on a faded old Breakaways t shirt. You snap out of it before he can notice, and busy yourself corralling an excitable Robbie, setting him up at the kitchen table with his crayons and his juice.

You pull on washing up gloves and bleach Roger’s dark roots first, making sure not to get it on the ends and frazzle them.

“How’d you get so good at this, anyway?” He wonders as he watches you loading the product onto the brush in his bedroom mirror.

“My housing benefits don’t exactly cover trips to the hairdressers.” You say, gesturing towards your own bottle blonde head. “How light do you want to go?”

You show him the colour chart on the back of the packet, and he calls you “very professional”, about which you’re pleased.

You notice the crack in his bathroom window as you take him through to wash his hair, covered over with an old Woolies bag but still leaking freezing air into the flat. You don’t say anything.

You make him sit on the floor with his back to the tub, leaning his head back as you support it in one cupped hand, using the other to angle the shower head over his hair.

“Just like a real salon.” He quips, and you grin.

You massage the shampoo into his hair and he groans in relaxation.

“I love having people play with my hair.”

Maybe it’s because you’ve not had any action for such a long time, but the noise does something to you.

You dry him off and then it’s time to cut. You trim his fringe last, squatting down in front of him and frowning with the concentration of trying to cut straight, and you’re a bit nervous being this close to him. He keeps making silly faces to put you off, though, and soon he’s got you giggling like no one else can.

You gently blow all the hair off the back of his neck and he lets out another little strangled moan.

”Sorry” he says quickly, embarrassed. “Jus’ tickled is all.” You bite your lip.

“Right, of course.”

★★★★★

The next day you see him in the foyer when you’re both down checking the post. You compliment him on his new hair, and he tells you he’s been thinking.

“You should cut people’s hair in the tower block.”

“What?”

That boy has had a few crazy ideas since you’ve known him, but this has to take first prize.

“It’d be cheaper than going to the hairdressers.” He points out. “Plus you’re really good at it, you could make good money.”

“What would I do with Robbie?”

“Well you’d be doing it at home, wouldn’t you? He’d be there.” He says, matter-of-factly.

“Or..”

He trails off.

“What?”

“Or I could take him. While you’ve got appointments.”

You gape at him.

“I- I could make you some posters to put up if you like?” He continues when you don’t say anything. “There’s a photocopier at uni I could use. Use it to make stuff for the band all the time. ”

Perhaps against your better judgement, you reach over and hug him. He feels warm and solid, smells clean and good and you realise you’re welling up.

“Thanks, Rog.”

“Hey, hey, hey.” He says, using his Robbie voice on you.

“No need to get upset.”

“I love you.” You mumble.

Maybe you hadn’t realised it before, but it’s true. The boy’s gold.

He puts his hand on the back of your head, stroking your hair.

“Love you too, darling.”

★★★★★

He comes over one night to borrow flour.

He’s started letting himself in at this point, using the spare key you’d given him “for emergencies only”. He always knocks to announce himself first, but you can guarantee he’ll be strolling in like he owns the place whether he gets an answer or not.

“Where’s the tyke?” He wonders when there’s a distinct lack of “ROGERR!” the second he walks through the door.

“Started at nursery this week.” You announce proudly.

“Christ.”

“Yeah.”

“Nursery.” He repeats.

“Yeah.”

“Already?”

“Yeah.”

“Christ.”

You can only grin back, chest puffed out with pride.

Anyway, he needs plain flour.

“Since when do you cook?” You ask sceptically, raising an eyebrow at him from the sofa.

“Got a date tonight.” He grins.

“Ooo.” You say, setting your cup of tea down on the coffee table so you can turn yourself properly to face him. “Is it that girl?”

“Tracy, yeah. She’s coming to my place for dinner.”

“Big step.”

Roger hadn’t had a girlfriend for the time you’d known him, and at first you’d suspected him of being more of a one-and-done kind of guy. But even though he was often coming in late from the pub or the club or wherever, there had been surprisingly little activity of the female kind coming from within the walls of his flat at night.

“Yeah, well. We’ve been on a few dates so far and it’s gone well, so I thought I’d invite her over to mine, y’know. Take things to the next level.”

You try to hide your disappointment.

“So do you think tonight might be the night..?” you trail off, but Roger knows what you’re insinuating.

He grimaces.

“Maybe…”

“Maybe?” You repeat. “What do you mean?”

He looks hesitant.

“Look, if I tell you something, do you promise it won’t leave this room?” He asks.

“Yeah.”

“Do you swear?”

“Roger,” you begin. “I’m a single mother. I’m stuck inside all day and my only friends are my son, the woman at the post office who I go to collect get my benefits from, and you. Who am I going to tell?”

“Right, of course.” He nods, eyes closed. One of his hands is out on the kitchen table to steady himself, the other on his hip. He hasn’t been able to stand still since he walked through the door.

“What is it? Just tell me.”

He takes a deep breath, and then he lets out a big puff of air.

“I’ve never slept with anyone before.”

★★★★★

You fight to keep your expression neutral as you process what the hell he’s just said.

A virgin?

Him?

How was it possible?

Roger was the best looking man you knew, and the kindest. And it was obvious he was popular, especially with women. It just didn’t add up.

“You’re not saying anything.” Roger says nervously, and you blink up at him.

“I guess I’m just..” You search for the right word. “Surprised.”

He closes his eyes and nods in agreement.

“Roger, how?!”

It’s the only thing you can say at this point.

He huffs a laugh.

“Well, if I’m honest, I was never very popular in school.”

“You weren’t?”

“They, um,” he lowers his voice, as if someone might be listening. “They called me a poofter. And, erm… other things.”

“Oh.”

To be honest, it didn’t come as much of a surprise to you, that people had called him that. It was horrible, all the same, but not surprising.

In fact, there had been a while when you’d even wondered the same. It might explain his gentle nature, you’d thought, if he was gay, and the lack of dating, and the fact that he’d never tried anything on you, even though you’d been close now for such a long while.

Not that you were cocky - not anything of the sort, but still. Most men would try it on with you, and even though you mostly wished they wouldn’t, you couldn’t say it hadn’t hurt when Roger didn’t try to go there at all.

“Was never really into rugby or anything like that.” He explains. “I played tennis, and I was alright at football, but I was never on the team, or anything. They all - the other boys – they- they’d laugh at me. In the showers?”

The ends of his sentences are going up like questions, and he looks like he’s having a hard time swallowing. You wonder whether this speech is something he plays over in his head often.

Whether it helps him justify it to himself.

“For being skinny. Y’know? And I was always a head shorter than everyone else ‘til I was about 17.”

“I’m sorry, Rog.”

“And then by the time I got to uni, I’d lost my confidence, I suppose.” He says it with a sad laugh that makes your heart sink.

“And it wasn’t the flirting that was the problem. I’m good at that-”

“I don’t doubt it.” You cut in without thinking.

He looks at you for a moment and your cheeks heat up, and then he’s looking at the floor again.

“And, well, I just never actually got around to any of… that.”

He makes an airy gesture with his hand.

“Why don’t you just get drunk and do it?” You offer. “No one would know any different.”

“Nearly did a few times.” He admits. “But when it came to the crux of it, I just couldn’t go through with it. Too nervous about stuffing it up.”

He gives a watery laugh.

“Oh, Roger. Why didn’t you tell anyone how you felt? Girls would be understanding.”

“You might be,” he reminds you. “But not everybody. I just felt like they’d all laugh at me. It’s completely acceptable for a girl to still be a virgin at 18, 19 20. But a guy? It’s just embarrassing!”

“Well that’s just a double standard-“ You cut in.

“Do you not think I know that?!” He says in frustration, and you butt in again, before things can get too heated.

“Anyway.”

He looks up at you expectantly.

“What are you going to do?”

You mean about Tracy, but he takes it more generally.

“I don’t know.” He says miserably. “I guess I’ll just have to stay one forever, now. I mean it’s just too mortifying at this point-”

“Oh it’s not that bad Roger for goodness sake, don’t wallow in it.” You scold him. “At least you aren’t me.”

He’s taken aback somewhat by that.

“What on earth d’you mean?”

“Well it’s not as if I get any action, is it?”

Bless him, he’s really looking at you as if he has no idea. And you’d be flattered, maybe, if the whole thing wasn’t so exasperating. You try to explain.

“At least you didn’t do it once or twice when you were sixteen, be unlucky enough to fall pregnant and then get saddled with a kid.”

You say it through your teeth, glancing around as if Robbie might hear you all the way from nursery school.

“And now that’s gonna be me for the next eighteen years, isn’t it?” You say it with a laugh that all of a sudden feels too close to a sob. “Until he grows up. Moves out. And then I’ll be what? Nearly forty? All before my life can even start.”

“Hey, come on-” Roger’s saying, sounding like he’s regretting starting this whole conversation, but you’re on a roll now.

“And it’s not like I’ll ever get married now, is it?”

You smile sadly, looking out of the window instead of at Roger, because you’re afraid that if you look at him directly, you might cry. For some reason he seems to be have that effect on you.

“Shot that horse in the face when I split up with his father. And no one’s gonna want me with him are they?”

You jerk your head towards Robbie’s empty bedroom.

“Oh, love..”

“Jus’ baggage, isn’t it?” You mumble, head down, staring into the dregs at the bottom of your cup. “No-one wants used goods.”

You can see Roger’s face out of the corner of your eye. He looks so pained. You’re too afraid to look up.

“Or at least, they don’t want me for the right reasons.” You sniff and continue, face set hard. Determined not to crack and cry. “Some of ‘em just think single mums are these slags they can do anything they want to.”

“Hey, enough.” Roger says stiltedly, voice strained. “I’m sure that’s not true.”

“Yes, it is.” You insist. “That’s all they ever want me for. And all the ones who are any good are just put off by it. ”

You shrug and look out the window again, eyes fixed on the tower block opposite. There’s a woman in one of the windows, rocking her baby to sleep.

There’s nowhere else to look, so you just close your eyes.

“It doesn’t put me off.” Roger says in a small voice.

You hear him slowly coming over, feel the dip in the sofa cushion as he sits down next to you. He puts his hand on your knee.

“What d’you mean.” You say, forcing yourself to open your eyes and look up at him. His blue eyes blink earnestly back at you.

He takes a deep breath.

“All of that- it would never put me off from wanting to date you.”

Your mouth drops open.

“What?” You whisper. “Really?”

He nods, moving his face close to yours.

You can feel your heart in your mouth.

His hand is still resting on your knee. It’s burning a hole through your jeans.

“I would date you too, you know.”

He swallows.

“I guess we could both help each other out, then.” He says hoarsely.

His lips are inches from your own. You drag your eyes away from his to look down at them, pink and wet. Ready. You can feel his breath on your cheek.

All you would have to do is lean in, and his mouth would be on yours.

Just then, you hear a sudden knock at Roger’s front door out in the hallway, and you spring apart guiltily.

“That must be her.” You mutter, turning away from him.

Roger’s rubbing the back of his head.

“She’s early.”

You stand, taking your empty cup over to the sink. He stays where he is.

“You better go and answer her.”

“Wait-”

You shake your head, bending down to search through the cupboards as he slowly stands and comes up behind you.

You push the bag of flour into his chest. He stares down at it dumbly, barely remembering it was what he came in for.

Tracy knocks again.

“Good luck.” You swallow.

He nods faintly, looking so lost you have to turn back around again, pretending to be busy at the sink.

“Let me know how it goes.” You say over your shoulder as he leaves.

But you don’t want to know. Not even a little bit.

★★★★★

You manage to stop yourself from going round until after you’ve dropped Robbie off at nursery.

You’ve been dying to see Roger all morning, but you were worried that things might have gone well the night before, and Tracy might still be there. The prospect of walking in on something you didn’t want to see was enough to deter you until the afternoon. A stab of jealously twists at your gut just thinking about it.

“So,” you say apprehensively as you walk in. Roger looks around from where he’s standing at the stove. “Did you?”

He shakes his head.

You make a noise of dismay.

“What happened?”

“Bottled it.”

“Oh no!”

He nods, grinning bashfully.

“Well you’ll just have to do it next time.” You say, taking a seat at the kitchen table. You’re trying not to look too relieved.

“Not sure there’ll be one.” He says casually.

“Why?”

He scratches at the back of his head with the spatula. Something he only does when he’s nervous. His t shirt has ridden up at the bottom, exposing his soft tummy. You look away.

“What happened?” You press.

“Think she was starting to get the vibe I wasn’t interested.” He says quietly. “Just saw her as a friend.”

“Because you weren’t pestering her for sex on the third date?” You frown. “God what is she, a bloke?”

Roger laughs.

“Not… just because of that.” He says leadingly. Nervously?

What was up with him?

“Then what?”

He dumps his eggs onto a plate, scraping out the pan before he spins around to answer you. He takes a deep breath.

“Because I couldn’t stop talking about you.”

He says it quite earnestly, matter-of-factly, even, and you stare at him, studying his face for any sign of a joke. You find none.

You feel your entire body go warm.

“Let’s go on a date, then.” You whisper.

“Ok.”

He says it steadily. You’re fighting to stop your voice from shaking.

“When?”

“This Saturday.” He throws out, coming to sit down opposite you with his plate.

Scrambled eggs on toast, HP sauce splattered messily all over them. Just how he likes it.

“What would I do with Robbie?”

“Could you get your mum to look after him?”

You snort before he’s finished saying it.

“Unlikely, Rog.”

“Well could you get a babysitter?” He suggests, voice thick through a mouthful of eggs.

“That costs money, Roger.” You say patiently.

It’s hard for people who don’t have children to put themselves into your shoes. Thinking like that doesn’t come naturally to them. They aren’t used to having to automatically come up with the Reasons Why Not.

“We could just..” He waves his fork around. “Have one at home. Y’know, with him here.”

You scoff.

“Yeah. And what a great date that would be.”

“Well it would be.” Roger says. “Robbie’s my little mate.”

You smile at that.

“ ‘sides, it would be quiet without him around.”

“Yeah.” You say suddenly. “Yeah, it would, wouldn’t it?”

The smile’s growing on your face. He grins back.

“It’s settled, then.”

★★★★★

“Mummy’s going on a date, Robbie.” You say to him, playing with his toys at your feet as you get ready in front of the mirror.

“Date.” Robbie repeats back to you, smiling uncertainly. He doesn’t know what it means.

“Roger?” He says, looking up at you hopefully. You smile.

“Yes, that’s right. A date with Roger.” You say, and he gives you a toothy grin, placated. “What a clever boy you are.”

You’ve no idea what he’s cooking. He did pop round this morning to borrow an onion, but apart from that, you’ve no clue.

You’re nervous.

“ROGERRR!”

Robbie runs inside before you can say anything as usual, and it takes you a minute to notice Roger’s wearing a tie. Top three buttons of his shirt unbuttoned as always, but a tie all the same. And he’s combed his hair.

You’re touched by the effort he’s gone to.

“You look nice.” He comments, as he pulls the door back all the way to let you inside.

“Thanks. So do you.”

He’s got wine, and apple juice for Robbie. He’s made him fish fingers and potato smileys, and spaghetti Bolognese for the two of you. At your encouragement, he gives Robbie a little bit of spaghetti on his plastic plate (you’ve come with a bag full of his things so he doesn’t fuss about the disruption of his routine).

“I’m trying to get him on to Grown Up Food.” You explain in a whisper.

It doesn’t feel quite like a date. More like old friends having dinner after not seeing each other in a while. You saw Roger this morning, but it’s been a long time since you’d had time to sit down and eat something together.

Honestly, you don’t mind it. You were worried there was going to be this weird tension there, now that you’d put a label on the occasion. But it just feels natural. Like catching up.

At one point, Roger reaches across and takes your hand over the table, threading his fingers through yours, and even though it takes you by surprise, you don’t let go. It feels nice. You eat the rest of your meals with one hand.

Robbie gets tomato sauce all over himself, naturally, and you realise it’s probably almost time for his bath anyway.

“Roger bath me?” Robbie pleads after dinner, tugging at Roger’s sleeve and you hesitate, looking up at him.

“I don’t know..” You start

“Want me to give you a bath, bud?”

“Yeeahhhh!” Robbie yells.

Roger looks at you triumphantly.

“Can you do it?” You ask, doubtful.

“Course.” Roger says. “We’ll be fine, won’t we mate?”

“Yeah yeah yeah!”

You sigh and relent.

“Alright, I’ll do the dishes.”

“Mummy’s only next door in the kitchen, Robbie.” You’re saying to your excited toddler moments later, after having unpacked all his bath stuff and giving Roger the walk-through. He’s pulling at Roger’s hand, impatient to get on with the fun.

“Don’t get the water too hot.” You tell Roger soberly. “And don’t fill it up any deeper than his tummy. Oh, and don’t let the water out until after he gets out.”

He shoots you a quizzical look.

You lower your voice.

“He’s thinks he’ll get sucked down the plug hole.”

“Gotcha.” He says solemnly, and then gives you a little wink and a grin. Your stomach flutters.

“Come on then, little man. Bath time.”

You leave them to it and clean up the kitchen. For a bolognese, Roger’s managed to get through pots and pans in Biblical proportions. And he’s got sauce splattered all the way up the tiled walls. You sigh.

You can hear Robbie squealing and splashing, both of their laughter floating down the hallway, and you realise you might have drawn the short straw.

You’re sweating by the time you finally finish up, and walk through to the bathroom to check on them.

They're in such a bubble of their own that they don’t notice you at first, don’t hear you coming to stand in the open doorway, leaning against it with one hip. You fold your arms. You’re trying to keep a hold on the grin that’s threatening to spread all over your face.

Roger’s got Robbie sitting up on top of the sink, wrapped up in a fluffy towel, and he’s brushing his teeth for him.

“Open wide, Robbie, that’s it- no, don’t bite my finger - good boy. Nice and clean, hey?”

In that moment, you’re struck with the realisation that Roger’s become a man while you weren’t looking. That somewhere along the line, he’s changed from that haphazard, clueless uni student you’d known when he moved in, and turned into this mature, capable man. You’d like to believe that Robbie has something to do with it.

You think that maybe he’s more of a man than any guy you’ve gone out with before. Maybe even more of one that anyone you’ve ever known.

You want to make him feel like a man. Tonight.

You know it’s time.

You clear your throat a little and he turns, grinning brightly. You smile, throat suddenly thick with an emotion you can’t place. You walk over and lay a hand on his shoulder.

“My boys.” You murmur.

Slowly, deliberately, you lean up and press a kiss against his still-smiling lips. It’s quick and chaste - Robbie is there, after all - but it’s romantic as hell.

You pull back and look at him. His eyes are shining.

“Mummy kissed you!” Robbie shrieks before bursting into a fit of giggles, doubling over on the sink, and instead of ruining the moment it just makes it better. You’re laughing too, and so is Roger, picking him up and lifting up high.

“Yes she did!”

He kicks his little legs in the air as Roger spins him around the bathroom, positively squealing with childish laughter.

“And now I’m gonna kiss you TOO!” You shout, lunging for your son and pressing kisses all over his chubby face, screaming his head off all the while.

“Mummy no!”

“Yesyesyesyesyes!”

★★★★★

You all have to do the bedtime routine together.

Getting Robbie into his pajamas, watching his night time cartoons for an hour and then reading him his bed time story. You put him down to sleep in the spare room and watch a film in the meantime, hoping that by the time it’s finished he’ll be in the floppy stage, so you can just carry him back through to yours and put him down for the night and he won’t stir.

“It’s a sleepover.” You’d told him as you were through changing him into his pajamas, while Roger set up the telly ready for Magic Roundabout.

“Sleepover.” He’d repeated, bouncing excitedly.

He’d fallen asleep barely a page into his bedtime story.

You and Roger cuddle throughout the film, your face set on fire the entire time. It’s the first time you’ve been this close to him.

When it finishes, you carry Robbie next door, tucking his warm, sleeping body into bed and kissing him on the forehead. He doesn’t stir. You quickly check your hair in the hall mirror before creeping back out, letting yourself back in to Roger’s flat.

He grins lazily at you when you come in. He’s lying sprawled across the sofa with his feet hanging over the arm, still watching TV with a glass of wine in his hand. He looks loose and happy.

“Hi.”

He leans over to put his glass on the coffee table as you walk towards him, opening his arms for you to fall into him. His body is so warm.

“Is he fast asleep?” Roger mumbles into your hair.

“Out like a light.” You confirm.

He hums.

Finally alone together.

“What d’you wanna do now?” He asks.

It’s casual, but you know better. You can feel the excitement thrumming under his skin. It’s like a live current. It’s contagious.

“What do you wanna do?” You counter, playing his game.

“You know.” He murmurs, lips skimming the outer shell of your ear.

The electricity jolts through every part of your body, sending his words right down to your toes. You feel every single hair on your body stand on end.

You shiver.

“Hey, we haven’t had pudding!” He shouts suddenly, and you jump a little, pulling back to look at him in surprise.

He looks genuinely annoyed with himself for forgetting.

“Pudding?”

“Yeah!”

“You made pudding?”

“Yeah! Well, no. Not made. Bought.” He says, quickly rolling off you to cross the kitchen.

“It’s alright, Roger, you don’t have to-”

He’s yanking open the fridge door before you can stop him, hunting for the forgotten dessert and you roll your eyes and smile.

Once Roger had an idea, there was no slowing him down. He always did like everything just perfect.

“I got strawberries!” He shouts over his shoulder, waving the packet around.

Not your favourite.

You weren’t about to tell him that, though.

You stick him a weak thumbs up from the sofa as he ratches around for bowls and spoons.

“Thought it might be romantic.” He explains with a smug grin as he tips them into two bowls at the kitchen table.

“Tonight’s already been romantic.” You assure him. “Have you got chocolate?”

“No, sorry. Did you want some?”

“That’s ok.” You say, trying to hide your disappointment. You walk over to sit with him at the table.

“I might have pouring cream?” He offers.

“That’s ok, Rog-”

“No really, I’ll go and have a look.”

You let him go, staring down at your strawberries gloomily. If you could’ve had chocolate sauce, it might not have been so bad.

You ate strawberries all the time while you were pregnant with Robbie, always craving for them at the most bizarre times of night. Ever since he was born, however, you’d just never fancied them in the same way again.

“I’ve got squirty cream?” He half-yells from inside the fridge, and your eyes light up.

“Aw yeah, wicked!”

He laughs.

“Great.”

“D’you want some strawberries to go with that cream?” Roger teases when you spray half the bottle into your bowl.

"Shut up, I like it.”

You end up getting a lot of it all over your face, and Roger takes great pleasure in watching you trying to wipe it off.

“Oh for god’s sake, get here.” He says, after you wipe at your cheek in vain for the fifth time. “You’re not even getting anywhere near it.”

He licks his thumb and wipes at your cheek, scooping up all the whipped cream from your chops. Without thinking, your hand shoots out to grab his own, and you lick all of it off his thumb, relishing the taste. You fucking love whipped cream.

Your eyes snap open when Roger makes a strangled noise of pleasure, and you realise you’ve inadvertently turned him on.

You smirk, swirling your tongue around the tip of his thumb, making sure you get every last drop. He throws his head back and groans.

“Oh, come on.”

You laugh and pop your mouth off him, looking at him in faux-innocence.

“What? I was just making sure I got it all.”

He digs his palms into his eye sockets, his answering grin was tortured.

“How much longer are we gonna drag this out for?”

You look at him in disbelief.

“You were the one that suggested dessert!” You argue.

“Yes, and I’m now very much regretting that decision.”

His hands are still over his eyes, so he doesn’t see the lightbulb go on in your head, and the wicked grin that follows it onto your face.

“I’ve got an idea.” You say, voice low. He looks up at you.

“What now?”

“How about we bring dessert into the bedroom?”

★★★★★

“Sorry I haven’t tidied up in here.” He mumbles as he trails in after you, surveying the mess before you. “Didn’t exactly think it would get to this.”

“This is lovely, Rog.” You say as you sit down on the bed, thumbing at the blanket with a wistful smile playing on your face. It’s a patchwork quilt, warm and worn, thrown haphazardly over the bed. The grey sheets are all peeled back and rumpled, and there are pillows strewn about all over the place.

“My mum made it for me.” He mumbles again, looking embarrassed. You smile, rubbing your finger along all of the different textures.

You realise what he’s said too late.

“Roger..” You say, whipping around to face him, standing above you beside the bed with the cream bottle still in his hands. “You do want to do this, don’t you?”

His eyes fly open wide.

“Yes!” He almost shouts, and you have to stifle a giggle. “Shit, sorry. Yes. I just, I only meant - I didn’t expect you to let me- y’know - on the first.. date.”

You shift slightly on the sinky mattress.

“What are you trying to say?”

“Oh, no no!” He backtracks, putting the food down on the bedside table and plopping down next to you. “No, god. I don’t mean it like that. ”

He stares earnestly into your eyes.

“Are you nervous?” You whisper, glancing sideways up at him.

“No.” He says steadily. “Not with you.”

“Good.”

“Are you?”

“A little.” You admit.

But it’s a good kind of nervous. The kind you haven’t had in a very long time.

You love him.

Maybe not in that way, not quite yet, at least, but as a friend.

And maybe soon as more.

You love him.

And so you close your eyes, lean in, and kiss him.

★★★★★

“That’s cold!”

Roger squawks as you squirt a squiggle of cream down the middle of his bare chest. You cackle, running a finger through your mess before bringing it to your lips to taste.

“Mmmm.” You exaggerate, closing your eyes in mock-rapture as you suck the cheap foam from your fingertip.

“Where else are you gonna put it?” Roger asks eagerly and you grin.

“Patience.”

You have to hold his hips down to the bed to stop him wriggling as you suck and lick the sweet cream from his nipples, his chest, his belly-button. He’s moaning and giggling with every swipe of your tongue, and there’s a dark patch growing in size on the front of his stripey underwear. He’s rock hard, straining at the waist-band, and you can see his bright pink tip poking out of the top.

You decide the fun’s not over yet.

“My turn!” You declare, pushing him so that he rolls off to the side, flopping down on your belly in his place. “Now you’ve gotta do it to me.”

You flip onto your back and close your eyes, grinning while you wait for him to plan his attack.

“Don’t get it in my pubes.” You remind him. “And don’t put it anywhere near my vagina.”

Roger’s the first person you’ve been totally naked with, lights on and all, since Robbie was born.

You love your marks and scars - they remind you of Robbie - but it had been hard to accept that your body was changed permanently, and at such a young age, too. For the first year or so, you could hardly even be naked around yourself.

With Roger, everything was different. His face when you’d first taken your top off, so full of this quiet awe - it was enough to make everything you’d been worried about fade into background noise.

You jump when he spurts the cream onto your lips.

You resist the urge to poke your tongue out and clean it off, because the next thing you know he’s climbing over you and kissing you deeply, the sweet taste filling both of your mouths.

Neither of you can stop giggling, smiling against each other’s lips, teeth clashing together and breath merging into one.

After he’s licked you clean (and sucked a strawberry out of your belly button), he decides he wants to pay you lip service in another way.

So far, he’s taken all the foreplay in his stride with a quiet self-assurance, but now you’re getting towards the real thing, he’s suddenly nervous.

He stops between your legs and looks up at you, a little unsure of what to do next.

He’s lying on his belly, legs bent and crossed behind him at the ankle, in nothing but his y-fronts and a pair of purple socks.

You feel him mumbling your name into the inside of your bare thigh, following it up with a sweet kiss against your skin.

“You okay?” You wonder, propping yourself up on your elbows to look down at him.

“I’m not sure what to do.” He admits, burying his face into your leg and blowing out a big huff of air. It tickles.

You try not to giggle at him, arms folded under himself and his face planted into your thigh.

“Just do what feels natural.” You tell him, stroking his blonde head and he groans, frustrated. “You’ve been doing good so far.”

“What if I do rubbish?” He argues. You laugh at that.

“Half of you are rubbish at it anyway.”

“That’s not very encouraging-”

“Look, all I’m saying is that practise doesn’t always make perfect.” You remind him gently. “You’re a good kisser, you’ll be good at this as well.”

He doesn’t say anything.

“Just do what feels right, you’ll pick it up in no time.”

He looks up at you then, one cheek still resting on your leg. His breathe tickles against your skin.

You get an idea.

“Come up here.” You say. He looks at you confused, but you haul him up by the arm nevertheless, until your faces are level.

“Give me your hand.”

He hands it over, mystified.

You take the palm of his hand and bring it to your lips, kissing him there once first, gently, to make him smile.

“Do it like this.”

You say, and then you move your lips and tongue against the palm of his hand, simulating oral sex, in just the rhythm and pattern that you like it.

“Sthee?” You muffle into his hand. “Juth’st like tha’ ”

You look up at him to check if he’s taking it in. His cheeks are turning a dark shade of red.

He nods stiffly and starts moving down your body.

“Got it.”

“The clit is-”

“I know where it is.” He snaps, and you nod, leaning back against the pillow to let him get on with it.

He does it just like you showed him.

You knew he’d be a fast learner, but you didn’t expect him to pick it up quite so quickly, and quite so well.

He’s so eager to taste you, pushing your legs open wider, pulling you onto his mouth so you’re flush up against his nose and lips. He groans against your clit when you push and grind against him, and the vibrations send shockwaves straight through you.

“That’s so good, Rog.” You’re telling him, stroking his hair as he groans into you. “Just like that.”

“Yeah?” He breathes, taking a break to turn his head to the side and suck a dark bruise onto your thigh. “Am I doin’ good?”

“So good.” You repeat, eyes squeezed shut and your nails digging into his shoulders like you’re trying to kill him.

You let him carry on until he makes you come, shaking and grinding against his face, pulling him closer by the back of his head. He moans as you tug at his locks, cleaning you up enthusiastically.

His tongue soon becomes too much against your sensitive heat. You push him away with your foot, and he props himself up on his elbow, grinning.

“How was that?” He asks, turning his head to wipe his wet chin off on his shoulder.

“Come ‘ere.” You murmur in answer, hauling him up towards you and pulling him down for a deep kiss.

“That good, ey?” He mumbles against your lips, and you shut him up by kissing him harder.

“Your turn.” You’re saying next, anxious to move onto the next thing as you push him off and move to get on top of him.

His breathe hitches as you push him down against the pillows, and you stop just before you move to slip off his boxers.

“Has someone done this to you before?” You wonder.

His eyes don’t move from your face. His chest is rising and falling rapidly under you as you trace a finger along the waist-band of his underwear. You feel his cock twitch.

“No.” He says breathily.

“Get ready, then.” You say, moving to finally pull his underwear off but then his hand shoots out and stops you.

He’s gripping your wrist tight, face anxious.

“Are you okay?”

“I won’t-” He starts, glancing up to the ceiling as if he’s having to will himself to say it, “I won’t.. last long, if you do that. At all.”

You breathe a laugh.

“That’s the point, Rog.” You say. “If you finish now, you’ll be able to last longer when we fuck.”

“Oh.” Is all he says, laughing at himself self-consciously.

You lean up and kiss him again, trying to reassure him. He’s still grabbing onto your hand tight.

“Ready?” You ask, thumbs hooked inside his waist-band.

His skin is fever-hot.

“Yeah.”

He’s right. He doesn’t last long.

Not that you were expecting him to, but still. It’s quite satisfying how quickly he’s coming uncontrollably into your mouth, hips stuttering and unable to stop himself from thrusting all the way down your throat.

“Oh god, oh god, oh fuck.” He’s whispering like a prayer, body twisting on the mattress below you as you take all of him, nose pressing into his belly. He’s got a fistful of your hair, and in the last moments, it’s like he doesn’t know whether to push you off or pull you closer.

It tastes hot, and slightly sweet, and when you crawl back up to let him taste himself on your tongue he can’t help but moan all over again.

He’s a bit like a zombie after that.

You decide to just leave him to recover for a while, realising it’s about time someone went to check on Robbie. You pull Roger’s dressing gown off the back of the door and slip it on, turning around in the doorway to tell him you’ll be back in a minute.

He’s lying on his back, staring at the ceiling, a goofy grin plastered all over his face.

“Won’t be long.” You whisper.

You wonder whether the words even register at all.

“Is he..?” Roger wonders when you come back in. He looks like he’s come back to life a little, now sat up on his elbows.

“Flat out.” You grin, coming to sit back down on the bed.

You don’t bother taking the robe off, suddenly a little chilly after all of the sweat has cooled.

“So do you want to fuck then, or..?” You wonder, trailing a finger around one of his nipples in a circle.

He sits up fully and looks at you at bit sheepishly, scratching his head.

“Er, actually...” He trails off, and you look at him encouragingly, waiting for him to finish. “Would it be ok if we, er, left it? For tonight?”

You blink at him.

“Of course!”

“Sorry.”

“No, don’t be silly!” You say, reaching over to pull him into a one armed hug. He leans his head on your shoulder.

“It was really awesome, though.” He mumbles into your collar bone, pressing a wet kiss where his dark blue robe had slipped down. “Loved it.”

“Me too.” You say appreciatively, resting your cheek - sore from all the smiling - against the top of his head. His hair smells like coconut shampoo.

“M’really glad it was with you.”

He yawns, suddenly knackered, and you begin to feel the same.

He moves off you and to the edge of the bed, and starts pulling his underwear back on.

“And plus,” he adds, looking at you over his shoulder. “There’s always tomorrow.”

You grin back at him.

“You’d do it again?”

“Are you joking?” He snorts, as if you’ve asked him the most stupid question he’s ever heard. “Any time you like, darling.”

★★★★★

Robbie can’t be left on his own overnight, so you have to collect up all of your things and traipse back through into your flat, bare feet cold on the wooden hallway floor.

Roger comes with you, not wanting to send you off to sleep alone after all of that. You do a final check on Robbie, before slipping into bed next to him, huddling into him immediately for warmth. It get’s cold in your little flat at night time, and the heating was something both of you could only afford to put on in the very depths of winter. Roger wraps his arms around you.

“So was this more of a one time thing, then?” He whispers into the dark just before he falls asleep. “Or were you looking to fill a more... permanent position?”

His voice is light and silly, but the moment’s a somber one. You can tell he’s feeling nervous.

“I’d wake up to you every day if I could.” You say seriously.

He kisses you then, gentle and deep - no lust in it but full of passion, and it makes your toes curl.

“Tomorrow’s a start, then.”

You stare up at the ceiling, listening to his rhythmic breathing and thinking about the forgotten strawberries, left out to go over-ripe on the bedside table. You can’t help but lament all the lost nights you could’ve been spending curled up in bed at Roger’s side.

You wonder whether all of this shouldn’t have happened a long time ago.

Or maybe it had happened at exactly the right time.

★★★★★

@ixchel-9275 @oogachuggaoogaoogachugga

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chilly-me-softly · 5 years ago

Note

What about y/n starts dating/is dating Ben but she lives in a different European country and they try to work/work things out even tho she leaves home during the weekdays because she has work and college at home. She does travel to Leicester City every time Ben has a home game so they pretty much spend the weekends together all the time. But she starts to feel like she is putting in more effort in all of this and conforms him about it and they have an argument before an important game..

It all started by chance, a cousin of yours and his girlfriend had moved to Leicester to try and find work and when they got settled they kept telling you to come and visit them practically every time you had a chance to talk. And one day you’d given up, having days off from university, you’d taken a week off at work too and got on a plane. You never expected to meet this guy in a bar -where your cousin took you to try some dish you couldn’t remember the name of- and to keep in touch with him over the phone almost every day, even when you were back home and miles away from him.

He would always ask you when you were coming back for a real first date, or at least chatting face to face if labeling it as a date would be too much. So one weekend you tell him you were flying in and he invites you to one of his games. Because that guy is Ben Chilwell, the Leicester City defender, and you fell for him without even seeing him twice in a row in person.

What started out as a relationship without too many questions, ended up becoming a serious thing in a very short space of time. Both couldn’t bear the idea that the other could have what you two have but with someone else. The only thing that led you to sit down and seriously discuss whether or not to start a relationship was distance. You had immediately made it clear that you wouldn’t abandon the university you had entered only by yourself to be with him. You didn’t know each other well enough to say that it would last, despite the willingness to get to know each other was there. And the same thing had been for him, he wouldn’t have accepted transfers elsewhere and you wouldn’t have let him for the same reason you would have stayed at yours. If things had got even more serious, you would have had that conversation again, but until then he in his house and you in yours.

And that’s the way it works, you worked so that you could afford college but since Saturdays and Sundays were your only days off from uni, you made sure to have them off at work too. Sometimes you went to work overtime and your co-workers were flexible enough to swap a few shifts in case you got exams or something. Anyway, the fact is that it was easier for you and Ben to see if you were the one moving, because between his training sessions and the various games it seemed impossible for him to do that.

You were on a plane on Friday night right after the end of your shift, you spent the weekend with Ben cheering him and his team almost every week -when he had away games it wasn’t worth travelling and you agreed it was better not to-, spend the rest of the time together and then come home on Sunday night, have time to rest and work on Monday night.

It was a routine you were willing to do to see him, you couldn’t wait to get on that plane and maybe the fact that you couldn’t always see each other made the weekends special. Fridays never seemed to arrive in a hurry and during the course of the week, if something big happened, you would write it down on a piece of paper so you wouldn’t forget what to tell him. Stuff only a crazy lover could do.

Then a friend of yours had left the single world and often told you how her boyfriend had been ill and she had helped him recover by cooking for him, or places they had gone to visit on the weekend. You were jealous of your friend because she had dates with the boyfriend for crying out loud!

And it makes you think, if you had the flu or worse an accident Ben would leave everything to come to you? If you were freaking out about an exam, would he come just for a touch and go to comfort you? I mean, you’ve been together for months now and he hasn’t seen your apartment or the place you work or anything at all about your life.

With these thoughts that have accompanied your week, you arrive at the airport. An important weekend ahead of you, a game that could have taken Leicester City to a Cup Final after years. And you promised him you’d be there, as always, because it’s important to him.

He has practice when you arrive so he’s not at the airport waiting for you as usual, the house keys under a plant to let you in and settle in while he picks up some takeaway food and comes back. You can’t deny that seeing him always has the same effect on you even after months, you feel like a fire inside that grows bigger and bigger when he smiles or touches you or does anything involving him.

But this time there’s something else next to the fire and you know it will wear you down if you don’t talk to him about it.

"What are we doing?" a simple question and he frowns, stopping his hand moving in your hair, while he was telling you that James wanted to meet you.

"Um, I'm not sure I understand"

"Us, Ben. What are we doing?" you clarify by getting up off his chest and looking into his eyes, "We're lying on this couch like nothing happened, like we don't live miles apart"

"Should we cry because you're leaving in a few days?" he giggles trying to joke about it but you look at him badly stopping him right away.

"Don't joke about it Ben, it's not the time" you sigh passing your hand through your hair, "I've been taking almost ten planes a month flying back and forth between my house and yours for months now"

"I didn't think it weighed on you so much" he replied contemptuously, sitting composed on the couch. "That's not the point!"

"So what is it?" he asks, raising his voice a few, making you raise it too. "I fucking miss you! I'd like to hug you Monday to Friday too, not just when it's good for you" your chest goes up and down rhythmically like you just running a marathon. You look into each other's eyes for what feels like an eternity before he gets up.

"I fucking miss you too, sometimes it's like I'm out of breath without you. But-"

"No, I don't want to hear any unnecessary excuses tonight. I'm going to bed" you lock the guest room door behind you for the first time since you've been at Ben's, you've always slept with him using that room just to put the suitcase. But now slipping with your back against the surface seems the right thing to do, Ben falls back on the sofa hiding his face in his hands and sighing.

The night passes almost sleepless for both of you, exhausted let the sleep take over when the alarm clock is only a few hours away. You don't leave the room until you hear the front door slam, making him believe you're still asleep when in reality you've heard his every step and every swearing.

As you sigh you get up and get dressed, the shirt with his name is the first thing you take out of the suitcase. You may have shouted at each other the night before, but you always keep your promises.

You get to the stadium and hope no one sees you, you not in the mood to make conversation. Your eyes hidden behind thick black sunglasses as you head for your seat, waiting for the game to start.

"Mate, why didn't (Y/N) come to say hi as usual?" James asks Ben by doing pre-match warm-up exercises. His gaze falls on your usual spot and when he sees it occupied his heart skips a beat. When he doesn't answer, James sighs. "Did you two have a fight?" Ben still doesn't answer, he looks at him just to say 'is it that obvious?' and James pats him on the shoulder before going back into the locker room. It's time to focus on the game.

This ends with a draw and Ben's mood is even lower than usual, clear errors on his part that could have led to a possible victory. "Hey" he hears a familiar voice calling as he goes back into the locker room head down, you with a slight smile on your face as you wait for him to come to you.

"If you want me, I'll be there for the second leg"

"But it's an away game" you shrug as he kisses you in trough the crowd.

#thank you anon #ben chilwell #ben chilwell blurb

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pru-sama · 5 years ago

Text

The Stars Between Us [ATEEZ Neighbors AU; Chapter 3]

Pairing: Ateez x Reader [you’ll see in the future ;)]

Words count: 3735

Warnings: no one!

A/n: I’m sorryfor the wait! but Uni started and I had to write this in the time going to class in the bus, in my phone. lol. I Hope you Like it.

A few weeks pased, after that day the guys cameback to the daily idol life they had, so you only saw each other a few times, some of them in the hall or the stairs of the building, other times in the balcony. Your relationship with them became stronger, before yoy knew they were like childhood friends. It was so comfortable to talk with them, sometimes you just joked around, other times it was philosophy or more intimate conversations. There were a few moments you helped them with stuff and they did it for you. But for the most part of the time they weren’t around.

Also, you started at the college there, you were nervous the first and second day, but after that you saw that, except for a few people, everyone was so nice. You just felt like you were in your hometown beside the culture difference. And that made you so happy.

Your apartment was perfect too, even if your room were a mess most of times you tried to put in order after a week, and the next day it was a mess again. Sometimes you gave up on that, but at the end of the day you ordered again. And a mess again. It was a story without end. But your studies were going so well, so much that it surprised you. Yeah, you were working so hard for that, but it felt so nice when you saw the results of your work.

The first week of partial exams were around the corner, and even if you studied until late at night you didn’t want to fail when everything was going so well. So you studied in the bus, in the train, in the street. And there you were, walking in the middle of the street, Korean feudal history book between the hands. You were trying to memorize the familiar tree from a king from that era, there were a lot of names and all of then were mixed in your head. That’s why you were trying to difference them with what they do and their names.

You were so concentratee on it that you didn’t see the red light that told everyone to stop and don’t cross the street. Everyone except of you.

The sound of a claxon very near to you was what made you to look up from the text, afraid. It wasn’t enough time for you to react, but it was for that pair of hands than took you from your arm. In less than a pair of seconds you were on the ground with firm arms around your body, a scared look in your eyes watching the car pass from on side to the other just a few inches in front of you.

“That was near, oh my god! Don’t read while walking, it’s dangerous!”

You looked at your saviour when you heard that familiar voice, only to see the very scared look of Jongho in front of you. You were alive thanks to him… oh my- you were about to die!

You should look like you saw what was going to happen when Jongho saw how your skin became more pale in seconds. Of course, he was sure you was scared as fuck because of that. That’s why he hugged you in his arms, trying to reassure you that you were safe and sound.

“Hey, i’m here, I’m here. And you’ re fine! Relax, your hero is here”

With that words you laughed a little, calming yourself a bit. Yeah, you were ok, you should only remember to have the eyes on the road. It would be only a call to yourself.

He waited until you were better to stand up and helped you doing the same. Also, he took your book and notes in his hand, the other one patting softly your back. He was smiling, trying to make you do the same. And even if you were ok, to be him secure he holds you a bit when you started walking. Now than a book wasn’t blocking your view you notice that you were only a few streets from home. That’s why Jongho was in the zone.

“What were you reading?” he ask with soft voice. He wanted to distract you so you forgot the last event for a while.

Then, you remember your history exam that scaped your mind and cameback in that moment.

“Oh, yeah! I have a partial exam the next week, and I don’t want to fail…”

At your explanation hi made a sound of understanding, nodding with the head.

“But you study a lot, I’m sure you’ll have a Hundred of hundred” oh, true, you weren’t use to that tipe of ratings yet. In your home country it was different. It was time to get use to.

You looked at him with a fond smile. He was a great guy, he always looked for you. If one day he started to date someone that person would be the luckiest in the world. And if someone hurted Jongho you would fight that shitty person.

“Thanks Jongho… but I just want to be sure I know everything… it’s the first exam I have here and… you know, I’m nervous.”

You bit your lip at the end of your words. He didn’t need it to knew you were. He patted again your back and smiled at you again.

“Then my hyungs and I will help you to relax”

Your eyes opened big at that, denying with the head.

“But, Jongho, you have your work, I don’t want to stress you”

“Are you crazy? You are our friend! You don’t give us strees, if you pass time with us we are sure we’ll have funny memories from that!”

Really, really great friends you thought in your mind. They were so nice.

A pair of seconds passed and it hits you, stopping to walk, Jongho looking at you without understanding why you stopped.

“True! Then I have to go somewhere… ah!” You didn’t let Jongho speak when he was going to ask you what were you saying. “Just tell Seonghwa to don’t make dinner. Tonight you’ll eat dinner at my house!”

He was so much surprised that couldn’t say anything more when you change the direction and walked fast to the near supermarket there. You had to buy a lot of food, korean people eat a lot, and ATEEZ more than normal. You weren’t the best cook, but you would try your best.

He saw you disappear while smiling, looking down to your history book and notes. He should give it to you later, but at least he was sure your mind was far away from the exam. And that was enough.

Jongho entered the building, you were almost there, and went to their place. At the apartment was a controlled chaos; San, Mingi, Yunho and Wooyoung were in the living room, as noisy as always. They were sitting on the sofa and on the floor, playing Mario kart together. It was a race game, but their characters were more fighting with each other than running to win first place.

They were noisy, but Jongho could hear Yeosang’s drone flying in another room. But they weren’t the person he was looking for.

“Jongho-ah, you cameback”

He turned to see his leader coming maybe his room to him. Both of them smiling.

“You were out more time than usual, did something happen?” HongJoong asked without worrying, but curiosity.

“oh, well, almost something happened but- oh, right! Where’s Seonghwa hyung?”

A bit puzzle and still curious about what the youngest was talking about HongJoong pointed to the kitchen.

“He’s going to make dinner already”

“ oh, Wait! Hyung!”

Jongho runned to the kitchen were Seonghwa just stopped his moves when he heard Jongho, looking at him without understanding.

“What is? Jongho. I’m going to-“

“Yes, I know but not today”

At this point everyone in the house was there looking at the youngest of the group, wanting to know why he stopped Seonghwa when he was the one who ate the most.

By the way, he didn’t notice them.

“Our neighbour, she said today she will invite us for dinner”

“What?” A high pitched question crossed the flat from Wooyoung’s mouth.

But the oldest ignored it, as the rest of them, and looked at Jongho.

“But why? Are those her books?”

“Oh, I don’t know. She told me to tell you that when we jump on each other a few minutes ago. And yes, I helped her and she left me with them … I think she went to the market”

Seonghwa was surprised, all of them were. They didn’t understand why you wanted to make the dinner for them. Of course you were friends and all that, sometimes you did things together, so why suddenly this?

“but…we are a lot…” San said breaking the silence.

“and we eat a lot” Yeosang added.

They kept silence again, all of them were thinking what to do. It was so obvious that they couldn’t stop you, they knew you so well at that point of friendship.

You arrived to your flat half n’ hour after you left Jongho on his own. There were big bags full of food in your hands. You knew how much they ate, and it was the second time you were going to try that plate; ramen. You did it one time you wanted to try new things and you didn’t want instant noodles. So you did. But the taste wasn’t the best… Nevermind, you took notes of that fail so this time would be better.

You changed your to more comfortable clothes and went to the kitchen to start cooking, but the bell from the door stopped you. You waited a moment before going to the door and open it. A smile grow in your face at the view of Seonghwa there. After all that time together with the guys you discover that Seonghwa was shy, a little more than he let them see when he was on scene. When he was with the rest of Ateez he had two moods: looking at them like a judging mother or join them and be the most stupid, rude and sexy friend you could ever have. It happen sometimes, and you judged him too when he danced baby shark in a sexy way.

But he usually was so tranquil, when you were with him, only with him and maybe Yeosang, it was relax time. You could talk with him in a calm and low voice or just enjoy the silence. It was so chill.

“Hi” He said softly, in contrast with all the noise coming from the opened door next to yours. It is was like to different worlds.

“Hi!”

“Jongho said that you are going to make dinner for all of us” his voice was cautious, like he was making sure that information the maknae said was true.

“yes! I was going to start doing it now”

He looked at you a bit surprised, you were so hyped with that, and you were truly going to do that.

“But, it has to be a lot of food”

“And it is… it will take me time but I promise and going to make a delicious ramen this time”

“you are going to cook ramen for nine people?!” he exclaimed more surprised than before. “Why?”

At that reaction you laughed a little , that was cute. Maybe he forgot it, time passed from that day.

“And? You made pancakes for nine people too”

You could see the transition from confusion in his face to a new one that let you know he finally remembered.

“Are you doing it because of that? It’stoo much”

“Yes! And it’s not. I want to do it and if I do we can have a good dinner together”

He remained quiet again. Seonghwa was thinking of that, when he thought he moved the corner of his mouth, did Seonghwa knew he did that every time? You though no. But it was adorable.

“Okey, but I will help you” he finally said, and you panicked a little.

“Hwa, it’s not necessarily…”

“I tasted your last ramen” he started. Oh no, you said in your mind, he remembers.

You kept silence for a moment before you let him pass to your home. Hopefully this time everything was in place, you knew how clean the blonde was with everything. Lucky for you he didn’t see your room.

Both of you enter the kitchen, Seonghwa going right to the table to look at the food you just bought. He was making sure you had every ingredient you needed, so if you forgot something you could buy it in time. But you took everything, so he smiled and looked at you.

“Ok, let’s wash our hands so we can start”

“Yes, Captain!” you made him laugh a little with that.

You washed your hands and wait for him to say what to do. Seonghwa was a great cook, and a good teacher. He was so calm and always tried to help others when they needed it. Like you that time.

He told you to cut the vegetables while he was preparing the water and the meat. He was faster than you, obviously. When he ended with his part, he took a look on you. You were passing a difficult time with that damn vegetables.

“You are going to destroy them”

Before you could process what was happening he was behind you, almost hugging you with de diference that his hands were on yours. You froze for a moment, taking time to realise what was he saying. You lost your mind for a moment, that braincell was having a hard time.

“Look, do it like this. It’s easier this way, see?”

He was so gentle doing that. Seonghwa always was, but it stilled impress you. You wish all men were like that.

You followed his moves and instructions, it took you a few times to got it, but when you did you could almost feel the proud smile in Seonghwa’s lips. That was technically impossible, but you passed enough time with those guys to know that little details.

“Perfect! That’s the way.” He congratulated you, taking a step back and coming back to his stuff. “This is gonna taste a way too good, but obviously more than that one you tried to do before”

“Oh my God, you’ll never forget that, will you?”

“That was against food rights”

You laughed at those choice of words, Seonghwa looking at you in a jokely way. He was so comfortable talking with another person that wasn’t his seven friends, he loved them, but sometimes he needed to breath a different air.

The rest of the cooking schedule was calm, a pair of times you heard the others yelling esxh other from the other side of the wall. If you thought about it, your flat and theirs were like to different worlds; theirs so noisy and yours so calm. Even when Wooyoung and San went to yours it stilled calm. A little bit more than the other at least.

The time passed without any of you noticed, it wasn’t until you finished preparing everything and let the food cooking that you saw the hour in your phone.

“Oh my… it’s later than I thought.”

At your words Seonghwa moved his eyes to check the hour in your phone too, looking a bit surprised first, but then he smiled.

“with you time pass fast” he said, making you froze for moment before been able to answer. It was the first time alone with him, and the first time he said a thing like that. A bit cheesy, but comfortable. It was just you weren’t use to that part of him.

“No, it’s because the guys aren’t here making a disaster” you said back, making he laugh and nod at that.

“True”

Silence again. Comfortable silence. But then you had nothing to do except wait until the food was ready. So you started preparing the table for nine people, don’t letting Seonghwa help ypu with that. He did a lot.

“It’s so quiet here…”

“Lonely” you corrected him.

He looked back at you, who were concentrated in been sure there were chopsticks for all of you. His face changeed for a moment, just a pair seconds, and you didn’t see it. That was… sad. He made jokes about how fine he was while cooking without the rest of Ateez being kids around him. But the reality was that at this point his life would lost sense without them. It was impossible to live without the by his side. So, for him, seeing you in that flat living alone was calm, but sad.

After long seconds he spoke again.

“… I’m sure the guys would be exited and fine if you eat with us more times”

You looked at him in surprise again, he was wearing a fond smile in his lips, a Smile you kept looking for long seconds. Seonghwa was so handsome, but that look he had on you in that moment was just… breathless.

“I’m going to sue you”

That smile faded, he was puzzle at your words.

“What?”

“That smile has to be illegal”

And with that he laughed. A true-hearted laugh that filled your chest with happiness. He didn’t expect that answer, but he loved it.

“Wow, thank you so much. It’s an honour receive such beautiful words from the person with the most beautiful one”

Your face turned red. Oh my god, then you hated so much for making you flutter that way. He was proud of himself for doing that to you.

“Ya!” after long seconds to recover you hit him in the arm, he laughed again. “Okey, just stop flirting and go to get your friends while I finish this”

“What you said, My Lady”

“Stop!”

Laughing he exited your house, leaving you alone with your thoughts, trying to recover again and make the flush fade from your face. He looked at your door smiling.

“How cute you can be…”

He said before entering the battlefield that was his own house. You could hear him yelling at the rest of the boys from your spot, followed by a lot of fast steps to you.

The flirt one to appear was Wooyoung, and behind him was the other six boys. The seven of them looked at the table and the food you did with Seonghwa’s help, admiration filling their eyes.

“Looks so good!” HongJoong exclaimed taking a step closer.

“Come on and sit down so you can taste it”

No more words needed, all of them followed your order and sitted down. They first looked at the food and smelled, faces of joy in all of them.

“Just start guys”

“ok!”

Maybe they were a bit nervous because it was the first time of all nine of you eating together or because you were the one who cooked that. But when they started all of them looked at you.

“Can you cook for us everyday” Yunho said.

“Seonghwa hyung, your service aren’t necessary, you can go” Yeosang added. Seonghwa looked so done and used to that at the same time.

“It’s delicious” Jongho added sweetly.

“Jongho, have you bring her books?”

At HongJoong’s words he got pale, so you run to confort him.

“Don’t worry! It was me who forgot them when I gave you before, and you live next door. It’s not a problem if you give me my books latter”

“You are too good”

Mingi was the one who spoke that time, receiving a judging look from the youngest that he answered happily with a smile.

The rest of the dinner were funny and full of joy, you didn’t remember having a time as fun as that one. You hoped you could repeat that night or maybe just pass more time with them like that. It was so perfect. It was so nice.

Night fell and your stomaches were full. That plus the tired all of you were make you in silence. Or almost silence.

“That was so nice… thanks for the dinner” Yunho said, the rest nodding in agreement.

“It’s nothing, Seonghwa helped me a lot”

“Oh, no, no. You did perfect” Seonghwa wanted to thank you too. But you didn’t let him.

“With your help” you laugh.

“Ok, then you rest and we order this” the leader said, starting to take the plates. You tried to refuse, but they didn’t heard you. At the end you let them.

Because they were eight people they did it in a few minutes, coming back to you.

“I think we need to go to sleep” Yeosang’s voice was lower than usual because of the sleepy he was.

“All of us, you too” you looked at Wooyoung when he pointed to you. The truth was you needed it.

“I will”

“Perfect! Now let’s go to our beds. Bye bye!”

“Good night guys”

And your flat fell in silence again. You sighed and went to the bedroom, changed to the pajamas and right to wash your teeth. Then a knock in your door made you stop.

With the toothbrush still in the mouth you opened the door. It was Jongho with your books and notes in his hands.

“I think this is yours”

“Ah, thanks Jongho” you put out the toothbrush to be able to talk. You took your stuff in your arms, smiling at him. “It’s late, go to-…”

Before you knew Jongho was hugging you. Hi was strong as fuck, but the touch was so gentle. That hug was soft and warm. In his arms you felt safe and sound. You felt in home. He smelled well too.

He hugged you for long time, and you didn’t care. You liked it. You liked that sense of comfort. You liked being in his arms.

“Sleep well, don’t stay late studing” he’s voice calmed you more than you already were. Jongho’s voice was beautiful, and that low tone made it softer.

“I will. I promise”

With that he broke the hug, looking at you and smiling.

“Then, see you later”

“Yeah, see you later Jongho”

The door closed, the relaxed feeling was still in you. That night you slept like a baby in theirs mom’s arms.

A/N: tadaaaa, did you like it? I hope you do. I’l try to write the next one as soon as I can!

also; did u survive the comeback? I don’t

#ateez #atiny #ateez fanfic #ateez fic #HongJoong #Seonghwa #yunho #yeosang #san #mingi #Wooyoung #jongho #finally I post it

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queen-rogah · 5 years ago

Text

Chasing Dreams - Part 4

A Queen AU Series

Summary: In the year of 1971, you dreamed to be the best musician/performer that you’ll ever be. And upon achieving your dream, you have met the four musicians that would surprisingly help you to chase your dreams. The story of you and the rising band is deeply life-changing, and even finding love would get in the way, but all you have to do in chasing those dreams is to always face the consequences…

Warnings: fluff, mild angst, language, sexual references

Word Count: 4k+ words

Note: credits to those who made the gifs I used in this part!

MASTERLIST

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3

♡♡♡ PART FOUR: “THE SINGER, THE BASSIST AND THE DRUMMER” ♡♡♡

The sun shines up in your room as you stir in your sleep, covering your face with your pillow. You stayed up until 2AM with Brian last night as you talk about music, his life and his guitar with each other. You’re surprised because he’s an approachable person, and hoping that your sister won’t think anything fishy with you and him. You’re just so…interested to what he did in pursuing his career as a musician. You want to be like him someday, where you can release your own songs and perform to people who like you so much and then sooner or later, you’ll be performing in a huge stage. Hearing the people sing your song back to you.

A girl can dream.

And you just remembered this is the day where his band will arrive. So you woke up, stretching out your arms and legs as you sit up in your bed. You groaned when your hair is all over your face and how it is all tangled up in your ponytail last night. You look at the clock to see it’s already 9AM, then someone knocked at your door, opening it afterwards to see it’s your father, all dressed up already and ready to meet the band that will perform in his pub later on.

“Hey dear, can I come in?.” He asked. You just nod your head in response while you yawn. “Are you excited for Brian’s band to perform tonight?.”

“Yep,” You popped the p as you fix your hair. “And I want to perform tonight also. Maybe sing a Beatles song or…some groovy Gladys Knight.”

Your father grins as he hugs you tight, “Sure Y/N! You can take the stage all you want tonight, but the band will come first.” He chuckles.

“Oh I hope they won’t take my limelight in that stage.” You tease as your father’s chuckles turn into a belly laugh.

“You have your own light to those people in there kid. You can always out shine everyone because you’ve been performing there ever since you’re 17. I remember how you learned the guitar by yourself by just reading your grandfather’s book of guitar chords. My smart girl.” He says as he cups your face. You want to cry in happiness that he’s just there for you and Rosalie while your mother is working as a nurse.

“And thank you for building that stage for the pub…and for me also Dad. I really dream to perform right in front of people. I want to pursue that dream, I want to chase that dream badly. Whatever it takes.” You said. Looking at the posters on your wall, where your music inspiration’s faces are on it. Maybe these rockstars have passed this phase in their lives also, is to become a musician. A professional musician. And you want to make that happen on you too.

“I’m not stopping you Y/N, just be you but don’t make things worst on pursuing that kind of career, because I heard those rockstars have problems like depression, anxiety, health problems, alcohol problems and so on. If you want to gain that fame dear, I just hope you won’t break yourself and break other people. So be careful, I’ll always be right here to say your problems.” He said. Those words from your father really struck your heart as you hugged him tightly. Happy tears pouring out from your eyes. When your father noticed you crying on his shoulder, he comforts you and cupped your face with both of his hands.

“It’s early in the morning. Close those water gates dear.” Your father chuckles as you broke a smile, wiping away the tears as you felt your heart be energized with this man you love the most. Your thumb caressing his hand.

“I love you Dad.” You muttered. He sighs as he kissed your forehead.

“I love you always Y/N.” He replied. Keeping you in his arms for the meantime before patting your thigh and left your room.

…

Brian puts on his scarf as he watch Rosalie puts on her shoes before they head out the house. They said to your father that they’ll be waiting for the other boys to arrive at the train station. Rosalie is holding on his hand as they walk towards the station, while on the way, they shared some stories to kill off the boring vibe. When Rosalie mentioned your name to what she said about the pub made him remember what you’ve said to him last night. He really wants to help you pursue what you want through music since you both are the actual same. He’s still a rising musician with the band he’s in while you’re living all your life as a hidden musician. Both of you wanted something, is to step into a bigger limelight.

Brian knew that Freddie wanted to be the best performer ever be and maybe through introducing you to the band will help you reach that dream. So when they finally arrived at the train station, it’s just in time the train is approaching. Brian would still imagine you singing in your usual corner, hearing that voice of yours. He was stunned by you–but not in a flirtatious way–like he’s just amazed that his girlfriend’s sister is amazing at music.

“Darlings!.”

Brian look over to his left side to see Freddie, John and Roger leaving the train. Freddie was wearing this summer hat on as he helped John with his things. John also have his bass guitar with him and Roger have an acoustic guitar too. The uni gig will be tomorrow night and he can see on their faces that they are excited. Brian still didn’t tell them about the performance in your father’s pub tonight. The boys greeted them both when they are now standing in front of them.

“How are you Rosalie?.” Freddie asked.

“I’m good Freddie, thanks. My father and my sister actually cooked lunch for all of us, so we’ll be heading back home again.” Rosalie said, Brian smiling down on her as he puts his arms around her shoulder.

“Wait–you have a sister? I hope this is my lucky day.” Roger chuckles. Winking at both Brian and Rosalie. Brian was suddenly in an uptight mood as he furrow his brows, wanting to say that Roger won’t be making a move on you. He knows this blond drummer on his relationships to women. It’s awful. But the words in his mind also struck him, because he have an awful relationships to his past also.

“Oh shut it Rog, maybe she’ll reject you again like Rosalie did to you before,” Freddie retorts while laughing at his friend. Rosalie blushed beside Brian as he smirks at Roger. “But anyways, Rosalie my darling, lead the way to your humble abode.”

The group walk back to the house again, Freddie almost admiring the houses around. Feeling the home-y vibe of this town. Brian still have his arms around his girlfriend, his and her hand latched together. Roger was excited to meet you, while John is excited to eat lunch already.

“Hey, Rosalie’s father is actually inviting us to perform in his pub tonight. We going right at it?.” Brian finally announced as he saw Freddie’s mouth agape, shocked on what he’s hearing.

“Of course Brian! We’ll be playing tonight for these misfits who doesn’t belong to us because we belong to them. The pub will be jam packed tonight.” The lead singer exclaims. Rosalie was excited for tonight, making sure she will phone her friends to come over to the pub, and even bring their father’s if they want to. She just have to make sure that tonight will be the best night. When they arrived back at the house, Rosalie opened the door and let them in. Already smelling the pleasant smell of food from the kitchen.

“Dad! They’re here!.” Rosalie left Brian’s arms as she let them stay in the living room. She went to the kitchen to see you and your father already putting the warm and delicious food on plates as she help on putting those in the dining room.

“Call them here already while the food is still warm and delicious to eat.” You father said. Your excitement grew as you straighten your clothes, ready to meet his band. When you heard their voices from the hall, you put up a huge smile.

“Now guys, this is my Dad and my sister…” Rosalie pointed at the both of you when these gentlemen entered the room. You were now staring at these guys before you.

“So this is your sister,” Roger was the first one to approach you, taking steps closer to you as he shake hands with you but he have this different stare on you. Like he’s being a flirt, that puts a red shade on your cheeks. “I’m Roger.”

“Y/N.” You said, never expecting your voice would come out as high pitched. Your hands and eyes are still connected until you heard your father cleared his throat, breaking the tension between you and Roger.

“Freddie Mercury darling,” Freddie introduced himself to you with confidence in his tone as he kissed your hand. You felt so special right now, fuck.

And John took his turn, shyly approaching you as he shakes your hand, “Hi, I’m John Deacon. Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you John. Nice to meet you all.” You giggled.

Your father called in the table right now as you all found your own seats. You sat beside your father, as Roger sat beside you. You hide a smile when he just sat there with you, Roger was absolutely attractive. They all are, but Roger just holds this…unusual tension with you. Like the one you’ve felt towards William.

But I just met him! Your consciousness exclaims, confused on your feelings.

John and your father is having a full conversation, Brian was beside Rosalie across you as you and him lock gazes, shooting him a smile as he did too. The meal went fine, it was filled with so much stories and laughter. You felt Roger puts his arms behind you, resting down on your chair.

“So, you boys finished college huh? Just like both of my daughters here.” Your father says. “And Y/N, my girl graduated with honors degree in Arts.”

You hide your blushed faced in your arms as they praised you, but not your sister who is just clapping in boredom. “Dad, you shouldn’t…just–”

“Oh it’s fine darling, look at you! You’re a clever girl, had the beautiful looks and you study art like me! Plus Roger wants to–”

“Fred.” Brian cuts him off as he eyed him. The singer shuts his mouth as he just giggles innocently and goes back eating his meal.

“So, what did you study back in college boys?.” Your father asked again.

So we’re still in the college topic. Great.

“Actually, I'm still studying. I'm taking electrical engineering..” John said while he smiles, “And I think Brian is like a scientist or something–”

“Astrophysics, actually.” Brian corrected. You return your look to him, knowing that he studies space. Which is also an interest to you, because of you and your sister naming stars before.

“Graphic arts and design for me in Ealing Art College.” Freddie said.

“Oh god that’s actually one of my dream college before, I’m glad that I’m speaking to you who finished studying there.” You freaked out a bit. Freddie grins at you, giving you a small wink.

“I guess I found a girl who loves art so much just like me! God, I love you already darling.” Freddie exclaims. Your heart jumps in excitement and joy, and you look over to your father who’s smiling at you. Meeting some new people that would become your friends.

“And he’s a dentist.” John pointed at Roger beside you as Roger laughs at his remarks, shaking his head.

“I was never a dentist.” He said, chuckling, “I'm studying Biology up until now.”

“Why didn’t you finished Dentistry?.” You asked him. Those blue eyes stared up at you as he returns his hand behind you again.

“Got bored with it. Decided I’ll just go with Biology.” He replied. You hum in response. And then his body came close to you, the heat of your body became crazy as you felt chills down you spine. “What are you doing later Y/N?.” He whispers dangerously close to your ear.

“I’ll perform tonight too in the pub just like you.” You smirk at him. He raise his brows, surprised on what you’ve said.

“You’re a performer too?.”

“Just a hobby.” You smiled, watching this good looking blond bites down his lip and move away from you. You’re still blushing as you look at Rosalie and Brian, speaking while they are looking at each other. Almost like a married couple before your eyes.

…

Brian can’t stop looking at you and Roger throughout the day. He wanted to be distracted by Rosalie but nothing it’s happening, his eyes will only be just glued to the two before him. Brian didn’t know what and why is this happening to him, there’s nothing wrong with Roger making his move on you, but something is wrong with Brian who has the urge to stop the drummer. Because that night, when you both are speaking to each other, telling what you like and what’s your dream is really interesting to him. He’s interested in your future life–and he knows it’s a mistake because he’s in a relationship with your own sister–His mind was jumbled and twisted.

After that lunch, you all sat in the living room. Your father run down the pub to fix everything for tonight, you offered your help but he insisted himself to go alone and just be with the band. So now you’re in this couch, still beside Roger.

Roger was this man who likes surprises–like he told you–and the way he just spoke to you was something else. You are very not good in speaking to boys but Roger is making it easy since he’s just this sweet boy who loves drumming and discovering more music–just like you–He was just a year older than you and said he wants to help in making your musician career be active. Not just here in a small town, but to many people who’s waiting for some new people that would bring music in their lives.

“You’re saying that I should come with you guys in your gigs? I don’t know if I can do it.” You said to him, the others hearing you said it too. Roger puts his hand on your thigh, drawing small circles on it to keep you relaxed.

Brian was again staring at Roger’s hand resting on your thigh now. Fuck.

“You said earlier that you’ve been performing here since you’re 17 and maybe a bigger space where more people will come would make you be the best darling. Come with us back in Kensington.” Freddie said it too. Roger giving you a smile. You don’t know what to say because this is now your dream come true, where you will perform to many people around London. And through the money you’ve earned in singing in that train station would help too.

“Sure, I mean…that would be wonderful.” You said, a huge smile plastered on your face.

Your eyes trained on Brian to see he’s actually gazing at you, that smile on his lips made your heart somersault in some way. Then it broke when your sister suddenly whispered something in his ear before she stood up from her seat, his eyes following her movements.

“Excuse me for a bit yeah?.” Brian spoke as he left the room, following Rosalie. Maybe they will do their thing again, since my sister is addicted that. You mentally rolled your eyes in your thought.

You sighed as you get back speaking to Freddie, John and Roger of how they start as musicians and dreaming just like you. Freddie said that you should never be performing to the same people over and over in your place because you won’t know if they will be bored to you, so that’s why he said that he will arrange a performance for you in Imperial College where they will perform too by next month. On Freddie’s words, you have this excitement and nervousness mixed together. And now you’re doubting, if you’re coming with them in Kensington, you’re going to leave your parents alone, the pub, the train station and Jonathan…

You just promised Jonathan he will stay here for you, but now you’re doing it instead. You suddenly felt empty inside, but when you saw what time is it, it’s time for you and Jonathan to meet in front of his house. It’s been an everyday routine for you and him.

Freddie spoke as your trance fades out. “That would be your breakout performance! You will do amazing darling.” He exclaims.

“I’ll think about it Freddie, you know…it’s hard to leave home right?.” You gave him a reassuring smile as he did too.

“Sure dear.” He replied.

“And uh, I must be going somewhere else, just make yourselves at home and wait for Dad to show up later.” You said, breaking away from Roger’s touch.

“Hey, where are you going?.” Roger asked, his puppy blue eyes staring at you.

“At my friend just next door, so I’ll be going.” You smiled at him.

“You want to kiss her goodbye Rog?.” John teases as the drummer glared at him, causing John to snicker a laugh. You stood there blushing and chuckling at these boys.

“Fuck off Deaky.” Roger swats his hand at him.

“I’ll be going now. Bye boys.” You said as they said their goodbyes too. You ran back to your room to get your jacket lying on your bed as you suddenly heard your sister’s obnoxious shouts from her room. You tried not to eavesdrop but you still did.

You silently stood in front of Rosalie’s room to hear what she’s saying, “This meant to be my only time with you Brian. You said to me that I’ll be coming with you in Kensington so that we can live together. The other boys are excited for me and you also! And now they are far more excited to my sister coming with us on the trip there.” Rosalie argues.

Your mouth fell agape as you felt the emptiness in your chest. Now this is her problem, because she’s getting jealous of you on the boys talking about you. And your sister will be living with Brian? She will leave too? But what about your parents, they will be alone.

“Rosalie, your sister is out of our relationship so stop talking about her okay? Yes, I’m excited for her to reach her dreams as a musician but that won’t break my love for you. Yes, I love being a musician, and I love to help people and motivating them to do what they love. And I love you Rosalie, nothing will come between us love. Okay?.” Brian said.

Rosalie was so lucky to Brian, too lucky that she’s so stupid in falling in love, she won’t do anything about it sometimes. She’s just the one that will look through your flaws and everything what’s worst in you. Even being as her sister.

You step away from her door as you quickly left the house. While walking to Jonathan’s, you’re debating on yourself whether you’ll come in Kensington or not. Your mind is literally all over that question. This is your choice, this is your fate. You have to follow your dreams. Seize them. Chase them. It’s just too hard to decide.

“Fuck,” You cursed as you just walk pass through Jonathan’s house, walking towards their front door. Revealing his mother in front of you. “Oh, Mrs. Pierson. Good afternoon.” You put up a smile.

“Y/N! Wonderful to see you again dear, you here for Jonah?.” She asked, still using that nickname of your bestfriend since he’s still a little kid.

“Yes ma'am.” You said. Finally letting you in their house.

“Jonah is in his room dear, he just came out of the shower earlier. I hope he’s decent now, I remember how you walked in on him while he’s naked when you’re both…like 13 before!.” She laughed as you laugh along too, a blush covering your cheeks again.

“Oh god I hope it won’t happen again. I will go check on him.” You said, dismissing yourself as you walk to his room, which is closed. You knocked three times, hearing shuffles inside, saying that he’s probably changing now. “Hey Jonathan…” You spoke through the door.

“Y/N?,” You heard him from the inside as he opened the door, finally he’s dressed but his hair is still damp from the shower. “Hey, you’re early today.” He smiles.

“Yep. Got some guests in the house. Wild guests.” You sighed. Thinking about Roger, mostly.

“Your wild cousins, aunts and uncle on your father’s side I guess?.” He chuckles as he let’s you in his room, both sitting on the edge of his bed.

“Nope. Some of my, uh…sister’s friends, who are actually performing in the pub tonight.” You said. Picking on your fingers as you said that.

“Oh, performers. Just like you.” He said. “Well, are you performing tonight too? In the pub?.”

You sighed as you nod your head. He breathes out a huge breath, looking surprised. “Well that’s perfect! The timing is perfect that our childhood friends before will be back home tonight too!.”

Your eyes widened, “Do you mean…the group will be back together? Tori, Gillian, Molly and Sandra?.” You excitedly asked.

“Dingding!, you’re right Y/N! The old band of West Hampstead will have a comeback baby!.” Jonathan exclaims as you hugged him tightly. Getting so much excited for tonight, knowing that you will kill your performance.

Old Fashioned will be back ever since they all left for college before. You remember how Tori would play the guitar, Gillian plays the drums, Molly on the piano and Sandra on bass. That was your very first band when you turned 16 before and started performing with them in the pub where the stage is still new before. Old Fashioned baptized that stage, and you can’t wait to set it on fire again.

“Did they arrived already?.” You asked Jonathan.

“Well, Gillian called me earlier that they are already on their way on train from London. Maybe they’ll be here by 20 minutes from now.” He replied. Your heart is completely racing on what you’re feeling right now because of this happiness and excitement.

“Oh my god, why didn’t Gillian called me first?.” You asked him again.

“I don’t know why, maybe they’ll try to surprise you.” Jonathan chuckles.

You playfully hit his bicep, “But you finally said to me! They will be shocked.” You laughed.

“Then let’s go to the train station right now! I’m excited to see those faces I’ve missed again!.” You exclaim. Holding on Jonathan’s hand as you ran downstairs, saying goodbye to his mother before you finally left the house.

Tonight will be the best night.

__________________

*TAGLIST:

@luvborhap @ziggymay @lilytalebi @kiwithekiwi @imgonnabeyourslave

IF YOU WANT TO BE IN THE TAGLIST LET ME KNOW :)

#brian may #brian may imagines #brian may x reader #brian may x you #brian may x oc #queen band #queen imagines #queen fic #queen fanfiction #queenrogah's fic #freddie mercury #john deacon #roger taylor

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1dffexchange · 6 years ago

Photo

Making Moments

To: Lisa @tinyfelthat

From: Ally @allywrites

Summary: Jasmine Moore has had a tough year. Her first chance of redemption in 2019 is to attend her cousin’s wedding and make the best of it. She’s determined to make it out alive despite most of the guests knowing the embarrassing truth about her recent breakup - one that nearly ruined any plans of a civil wedding party. Now, with her ex uninvited, she needs to play nice with his replacement - a cocky, charming, and aggravating addition brought in last minute to ensure an equal number of bridesmaids and groomsmen.

Making Moments - a one-shot about champagne, smiling through the pain, and debating the true meaning of a quarter-life crisis.

“Another, please,” I asked the bartender, pushing my glass toward his side of the counter.

He gave me a look of commiseration before grabbing a bottle of Bourbon. As it was only four p.m., the bar was virtually empty save for me and the waitstaff setting up for dinner.

I felt pathetic, drinking alone at a hotel bar in the middle of the afternoon on the eve of my cousin’s wedding.

“Cheers,” I said to him lamely, raising my glass before downing the Old Fashioned in two swallows.

“Well, I wouldn’t exactly describe this as a cheery sight.”

I flinched at the voice coming from beside me. The intruder pulled out the stool to my right and sat down.

I turned to glare at the man occupying so much space so close to me. His hair was styled neatly on his head, and his eyes looked too cheerful for my liking. I wanted to know how this person felt comfortable enough to walk up to a stranger and make a judgmental comment as a way of greeting.

“Can I help you?” I asked bluntly. If he wasn’t one for making positive first impressions, I felt no need to reciprocate.

“Yes, actually,” he replied, smirking. I rolled my eyes, turning back to the bar, expecting to hear a god-awful pickup line or something as equally cringe-worthy. “You’re going to make us late for our date.”

Admittedly, I hadn’t heard that one before, but I was not impressed. At my silence, he continued.

“Jasmine.”

I turned my head sharply to look at him.

“How do you know my name?”

He smirked, taking my glass out of my hand and putting on the other side of the bar, out of my reach.

“I told you,” he replied. “I’m your date tonight. To Thalia and Niall’s rehearsal and dinner.”

“But I don’t know you,” I said, staring at him, dumbfound.

“I’m the replacement groomsman. For the dickhead that got himself uninvited.”

I paused, trying to process everything. “Replacement groomsman?” I repeated.

“Yeah, Niall was telling me about him the other night. Wouldn’t say all that much but mentioned that he was a snobby sod with his head up his arse.” The man shrugged and my mouth hung open like that of a dead fish. “I never met the guy, but I know you must have to do something outrageously foolish to get uninvited to any event of Niall Horan and Thalia Moore.”

I pressed my lips together, trying to collect my racing thoughts. There was a new groomsman? I supposed it made sense, logically thinking about how much of the wedding and rehearsal procedures required bridesmaids and groomsmen to move in pairs. I couldn’t believe Thalia hadn’t told me though.

Interpreting my silence as invitation to keep rambling, he continued. “Niall couldn’t even kill a spider in uni, and when I went to do it, he’d yell and tell me to ‘let him outside.’ And Niall used to make this god-awful taco casserole for dinner, and Thalia ate it once a week for three months even though she hated it! She didn’t say a word to him about it because she knew it was one of the only meals he knew how to cook.”

In normal circumstances, I wouldn’t hesitate to agree. It was entirely out of character for Thalia and Niall to uninvite a guest to an event of theirs. But I was just trying to digest the fact that Thalia had invited this chatty, boisterous man to accompany me throughout tonight and tomorrow – and hadn’t told me about it.

Meanwhile, this man was continuing to talk my ear off. I turned to him, checking my watch and deciding that it was time to go. When he didn’t pick up on my various cues of being ready for departure, including taking my jacket off the barstool from behind me and standing and slinging my purse over my shoulder, I lost what little patience I had.

“Excuse me,” I interrupted. “One of the very first things you said to me was an insinuation that I would make us late. Yet here you are, chatting my ear off with all of this nonsense. And I don’t even know your name.”

That shut him up. I relaxed my shoulders a bit, grateful for the momentary silence, no matter how brief.

“I’m Harry.” After a moment, he stuck out his hand, and I decided that while my [lack of] manners may not have been my finest attribute, I would never be rude enough to refuse a handshake.

“Jasmine,” I replied, although it was clear he already knew that.

“Nice to meet you.”

I didn’t reply, just tried my best to smile in return. When he remained silent as well, I shrugged my jacket on over my shoulders.

“Well then,” I sighed. “Guess we should be heading to the church.”

He waited patiently as I gathered my things, but the smirk on his face left me remaining uneasy.

“Isn’t it a sin to walk into a church drunk?”

I glared at him. “I’m not drunk,” I argued, but standing up left me feeling a little uneasy on my feet.

I headed toward the lobby, knowing that he would follow behind me. He rushed to stay near.

“How did you know where to find me?” I eventually asked as we walked toward the limousine where I’m sure the bride, groom, and the rest of the bridal party were already waiting.

“Thalia sent me out to hunt down a prickly-looking ginger with tattoos. I saw you at the bar and figured you must be the one.”

I would have made a snarky comment in reply, but the driver had already opened the door, revealing Thalia, Niall, and the eight other members of our party. We were greeted warmly, and I slunk into the vehicle, sliding over to allow Harry some room.

Thalia caught my eye, and her expression was intense. She was trying to read me like a book, and I prayed that my face gave nothing of my internal stress away. Finally, she smiled, reaching over and taking my hand.

I will make it through this weekend, I promised myself. And I will not allow my unhappiness to become a blight in Thalia’s special day.

*~*~*~*~*~*

As soon as my alarm clock went off at five o’clock the following morning, I knew I was not destined to have a good day.

Rubbing my eyes, remnants of last night’s rehearsal dinner makeup smudging on my cheeks, I turned over, harshly tapping the silence alarm button on my phone. I stared blankly at the hotel room around me, trying my best to gather the courage to get my ass out of bed and face the day like an adult. Huffing, I threw back the covers and shoved my feet into my slippers by the bed. I walked over to the small coffee pot by the mini fridge, pouring in water as the shower heated up.

Standing underneath the warm water, I wished that the burden of what the day would bring would wash away like the leftover mascara smudged underneath my eyes.

If he were here, Adam would’ve kissed me good morning before slinking quietly out of the hotel room to join Niall and the other groomsmen.

Stop thinking about him, I chastised myself. He’s not worth it.

It didn’t take me long to get ready, knowing that in a few hours, someone else would be doing my hair and makeup for me. I found a pair of leggings and a cozy sweater, grabbing my robe from the back of the door. I opened the closet to reveal a garment bag and a pair of delicate heels on the floor beneath.

I unzipped the bag a bit, glaring at the tight, black material. I was worried that it wouldn’t fit as well as it did during the initial fitting back in September. I loved Thalia with my whole heart, but a wedding in January sounded like the worst time of year. Not only was the weather usually crappy, but I felt the cushion of some extra pounds after the holidays. Deciding not to risk it, I talked myself out of walking down to the continental breakfast and making a waffle, sticking to just the coffee until I at least was zipped into the dress.

Arms loaded with my dress, shoes, and accessories, I headed downstairs to the conference room my aunt had reserved for the bridal party to get ready.

Despite arriving 10 minutes before the decided time, I was the last to show up. My cousin, Thalia, the beaming bride-to-be, was in a chair having her hair brushed by a stylist, a curling wand heating up off to the side.

“Jazzy!” Thalia called to me. “Good morning!”

I smiled, shutting the door behind me to keep the music coming from a speaker on the wall from bleeding into the quiet hallway. Hanging up my dress on a rack, I walked over to where she was seated. Her skin was glowing, her smile was beautiful, and she looked completely at ease.

“You look so beautiful, Thalia,” I told her, leaning into her outstretched arms.

“I’m not even ready yet!” she laughed.

“Still,” I said. “You’re excited?”

“Oh, Jasmine,” she told me, clutching my hands. “I can’t wait.”

I smiled at her, squeezing her hand, the diamond on her fourth finger glistening in the sunlight coming in from the window. I was sure I didn’t let my face betray me as I thought about a ring that had been on my finger only a month and a half prior – a stunning diamond with a beautiful silver band – but Thalia’s face fell slightly anyway.

“I’m so thankful you’re here. I know this day won’t be easy for you.”

I kept myself composed, setting her hand back down in her lap.

Shrugging, I said, “You’re my best friend. Nothing could keep me away.”

Thankfully, my Aunt Claire chose that moment to beckon the photographer over, inviting her to get shots of Thalia throughout her process of getting ready. I stepped out of the way, eyeing the trays of pastries with a glare before moving safely toward the other side of the room. I wasn’t very familiar with any of the members of the bridal apart from the maid-of-honor, Thalia’s childhood best friend. We had played together at many of Thalia’s birthday parties, had both been invited to the same sleepovers at my Aunt Claire and Uncle Ian’s.

She handed me a mimosa and a coffee as I walked over to greet her.

“Jasmine,” she grinned. “You look beautiful. I love your hairstyle.”

“Thank you, Eva,” I replied, adjusting my hair over my shoulder. “I decided to go with a shorter look.”

“It suits you,” she replied kindly.

Before I could say any more, we were being rushed to our designated chairs to be primped, plucked, and prodded.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Two more mimosas, three complaints from the stylist about what she would do with my short hair, and four near-crises involving the flower delivery, we were finally ready to head over to the chapel. I stood by the window, wrap over my shoulders. Looking at the white snow outside, I knew this draping shawl would do more for fashion than it would for function. I might not even have to worry about surviving so many awkward interactions during the wedding reception if I froze to death during the pictures beforehand. No need to worry about the How are you doings or the Have you spoken with Adam lately? No questions about my quest back into the dating game.

I was debating forgoing the shawl altogether, just for the increased risk of hypothermia, when I saw a flash of white out of the corner of my eye.

I turned, taking in Thalia in all of her glory.

Her dress was beautiful, a simple A-line skirt of chiffon, lace sleeves making the dress look delicate but suitable for winter. Her blonde hair was in a gorgeous braid, her veil framing her face.

“Thalia,” I breathed. “You look gorgeous.”

Taking in my closest friend since birth on one of the happiest days of her life, I couldn’t stop my eyes from stinging.

“Stop it!” she chastised, her own eyes becoming wet. She reached to the side and pulled a wad of tissues from the box. “You’ll ruin your makeup and make me ruin my own.”

I took one from her, dabbing beneath my eyes. “I’m so happy for you,” I told her through my sniffles. “Niall is so great. If you’re in the room, he’s beaming at you. I’ve never seen anyone look so in love.”

I was so happy for my cousin, thinking of the bright future ahead of her. Full of happiness and love and little blonde-haired babies. For the first time in what felt like weeks, I wasn’t thinking about my heartbreak or the way I felt like I was floating aimlessly through life.

But I could tell that Thalia had had some mimosas of her own as she tearfully said, “I’m so sorry about Adam.”

I blinked, immediately sobered. I didn’t want to talk about him. And I wanted people to stop acting like he was dead.

“Thalia-” I said, trying to cut her off.

“But to be honest,” she continued. “I never liked him.” She shook her head. “He couldn’t hold a candle to you. And to see you so upset makes me so sad because you’re so much better than him.”

I inhaled sharply, sniffling. “But I’m not,” I said weakly.

She gripped my shoulder, looking me dead in the eye.

“Yes,” she argued. “You are.” She paused for a moment, as if waiting for the words to sink into my skin. “That’s why I told Niall to ask Harry to be his replacement today.” What little energy I had for a conversation like this immediately disappeared at the mention of his name. “Harry will do right by you today.”

Do right by me? I wanted to repeat. What, were we living in the eighteenth century?

I wasn’t going to argue with her, not on her wedding day. I just gave her an exasperated look at took her arm in mine, leading her toward the doors.

“C’mon, then,” I said, ushering her out. “It’s showtime.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

No matter how many wedding scenes I’d watched in movies, there never seemed to be a perfect way to walk down the aisle as a bridesmaid. It was no different in real life. No one cared about me or any of the other four women. All they wanted was to do was see Thalia in her dress and catch a glimpse of Niall as he took in his bride for the first time on their wedding day.

I paced myself as I strolled as carefully as possible down the long stretch flanked by gardenias, Pachelbel’s Canon in D flowing from the piano and the flute accompaniment.

Niall gave me a friendly wink as he caught my eye, looking dapper in his tuxedo. I let my eyes travel down the row of groomsmen, all looking dashing and prepped to perfection. I paused to take in the man with curly hair three people down from Niall, the mirror position of where I would stand on the other side of Thalia.

Harry stood confidently beside the altar, arms folded in front of him. His dark suit framed his form nicely, his hair styled neatly. He had that ever-present glint in his eye as he watched me walk toward the front of the church.

I felt a brief wave of vertigo that I didn’t think was completely due to the mimosas that morning. I tried my best to hide my slight stumble, but it was clear that Harry had caught it. He pressed his lips together to contain his smile as I walked the last few feet.

Everyone stood as the music changed, signaling the arrival of Thalia on the arm of my Uncle Ian. Already knowing how stunning she looked, I turned away from the vestibule of the church, instead looking to Niall.

Niall’s eyes were filled with such an intense amount of love, lust, and longing that I almost felt the need to look away, as if I were intruding on a private moment instead of taking all of the important elements of the wedding ceremony. Against my will, eyes travelled down the line of men again to settle on Harry, who had already been looking at me.

He didn’t look away when our eyes connected, but I did, immediately turning back to Thalia who had now arrived at the altar and was being given away by her father.

By the end of the ceremony, I was hungry and anxious. From the rehearsal yesterday, I knew that I’d have to walk arm-in-arm out of the church with Harry. Then it was time for pictures… once again, most likely paired with Harry.

I didn’t have the patience required look at his stupid, fluffy hair and stupid shiny eyes for hours on end. From the smug look he gave me when he offered his arm, I knew that he was aware of my overall distaste of being in his presence.

Since he couldn’t talk during our exit, walking next to him down the aisle wasn’t all that bad. The limo ride to the location of the pictures, however, was another thing altogether. Harry had opened a bottle of champagne, ignoring my requests that he not hold the bottle so close to the hem of my dress as he opened it. He brushed off my concern, convinced everything would be fine.

However, just as I anticipated, when the cork flew off the top, bubbles overflowed the rim of the bottle, spilling all over the skirt of my dress, soaking right through to the skin of my legs and feet. It was less than ideal, especially considering the freezing temperatures. Harry tried to apologize profusely but I batted him away, digging for some tissues in my clutch and trying my very best to blot away the liquid, thankful that the dress was black and wouldn’t look stained in the pictures

“Oh fuck,” Harry said. “I am so sorry.”

We had the attention of everyone else in the limo, so I limited my reaction to a non-reply. What seemed like hours later, we finally arrived at the site we would be taking pictures. We were told to wait inside the clubhouse while the photographer set up a few scenes.

I went straight over to the fireplace, hoping the heat would dry the hem and leave me feeling less frozen. I gripped my skirt between my fingers, trying to spread the fabric and expose as much of the wet area to the heat as possible. I could hear a group gathering by the bar behind me, but I stayed focused on my task.

“Jazzy!” A voice came from behind me. I glanced over my shoulder, spotting Niall calling out to me, his arm around Thalia. “Be with the people, love.”

Thalia smiled at me, adjusting Niall’s jacket that was draped over her shoulders as I approached. Half of the groomsmen were outside smoking cigars, Harry included, and the other half were in here drinking more beer. I glanced out the window at the large puffs of gray clouds coming from the men. I couldn’t keep the scowl off my face when I thought about standing next to Harry for pictures, his suit reeking of smoke.

Thalia wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close. “You doing alright, lovey?” Her eyes were on me, and despite the fog of intoxication and the smell of champagne on her breath, I knew she was truly concerned.

I softened, placing a hand on her back. “I’m okay,” I said. “I don’t want you to worry about me. It’s your day.”

I needed to get my act together if Niall and Thalia could tell I was upset. Harry may have thought I was bitchy and bitter, and today I certainly hadn’t been acting my best, but Thalia was my best friend and cousin, and Niall was now family.

“Did something happen?”

I shook my head, thanking any deity above that the photographer chose that moment to call Thalia and Niall outside.

Tail between my legs, I made my way out to the outdoor patio when the photographer called Thalia and Niall outside for pictures. Harry’s eyes were locked on me as soon as he heard me open the door. I needed to clutch the fencing surrounding the brick as I wobbled on my fee. Champagne and an empty stomach did not go hand-in-hand.

At this point, if not for the alcohol, my blood sugar would have probably sent me spiraling into a coma. There’d been no time to squeeze in any snacks between finally getting the dress zipped and heading out to the church.

I shifted my weight as I stood in front of Harry, my feet aching. Couldn’t they have anticipated this long wait between the ceremony and dinner? Thalia and Niall had run off somewhere to frolic through the snow and the growling emitting from my stomach was sounding less like a nagging reminder and more like a beastly threat.

“This is always the worst part of the wedding, innit?” Harry said by way of greeting.

“What’s the worst part?” I asked.

“The ‘hurry up and wait’ of it all,” he continued. “Sit through the ceremony and then be rewarded with a two-hour wait before food.”

“A couple spreads of hors-d’oeuvres would have done a wonder of good,” I agreed wryly, bringing the flute of champagne back up to my lips

I glanced through the windows to the room inside in despair, not a veggie platter or spare cracker in sight. My stomach whined again at the thought.

There was a moment of awkwardness as we formed some sort of connection over our shared dissatisfaction at the extra time before the reception officially began.

“You’re hungry?” he asked, hearing my stomach growl. I watched him as he unbuttoned his coat. “You should’ve just said.”

He reached a hand into the inside breast pocket of his suit jacket, the sound of plastic crinkling as pulled out an item. A small smile on his face as he presented them to me.

“Peanut Butter Ritz?” I asked, eyeing the small pack of cracker sandwiches.

“Want to split them with me?” he asked, long fingers already tearing open the package. I nodded shyly, embarrassed that I’d been so nasty to him and he was still showing me kindness.

“So,” Harry continued once we’d finished our snacks, my stomach briefly satiated although I knew I’d need to find something again soon. “What song is being used for our grand entrance?”

I swallowed hard, nearly choking on the bubbly drink. Weakened with hunger, I had completely forgotten about the entrance each couple of the bridal party was expected to do. We were supposed to dance through or do something equally as embarrassing to a song of our choice. Back when it had been Adam and I, we’d chosen Shape of You by Ed Sheeran. I had no idea if that song was still being played, or if Thalia had changed it sometime between our breakup and now.

“It’s time to line up!” My Aunt Claire’s voice jarred me, and I quickly glanced at Harry. He grabbed the now empty champagne flute out of my hand and set it on the mantle nearby. We all were arranged according to the photographer’s satisfaction.

We were the fourth couple to take pictures, so we had a few spare minutes before having to put on a show for the camera and the rest of the bridal party. Harry was stiff beside me, still clearly as uncomfortable as I was, although for perhaps different reasons. I decided that I owed it to him to explain some of my [irrational] behavior.

“You may or may not have noticed, but I can be a bit headstrong.”

“‘Headstrong?’” he repeated, raising an eyebrow. “Is that how you describe stubborn, sulky, and overbearing?”

Ignoring him, I continued, “So when I found out that you were Adam’s replacement… I let my lingering upset feelings shadow rational thought. Internally, I think I blamed you for Adam’s absence even though you had nothing to do with it.”

Harry chewed on his bottom lip, and I traced my finger around the outside of my glass.

“The two of you were together for a while then?” he asked quietly.

“Six years,” I told him. I paused, adding, “We were supposed to be getting married in June.”

I felt Harry’s gaze on my face, but I traced a line in the condensation on the outside of my glass. Finally, he spoke, “I’m sorry that happened to you. Six years is a long time.”

I looked up at him. Gone was the mischievous glint in his eye. Instead, there was understanding and sympathy. And, to my relief, no pity. That may have been why I continued.

“He was so successful. We met at university, but he studied business administration and I studied English. I knew that it would be hard post-grad, but a part of me was content keeping my entry-level position and supporting him while we raised a family. I was never hellbent on making a career for myself. I just wanted to be with him.” I took a sip of my water, swallowing before I continued. “But he was working his way up a large company that sells steel. He works with so many confident employees, many of them women. More than you’d expect.”

Harry’s eyes never left mine, even though I had to look away every few seconds because I felt like I might melt under the intensity of his gaze.

“He started having an affair. He had been distant, and one day he was in the shower when I heard his phone vibrate. I happened to glance over at the screen and saw a name. Bridgette. I didn’t recognize it, so I turned into a snoop. His passcode was still his birthday, and I read their text messages. It was pretty clear what was going on after that.”

“The worst part was that he blamed me. I didn’t challenge him, I wasn’t going anywhere in my career, I couldn’t keep up with him, and so on.” I swallowed. “And now I’m floating along aimlessly, my plans completely shattered, living in the middle of an existential crisis.”

Harry’s eyes widened almost imperceptibly, but I was staring at him closely enough that I caught it. I knew that sharing this was a horrible idea. I had no idea how I was supposed to make a good impression when I was unloading all of this on him.

My mind and mouth couldn’t seem to cooperate, however, because I ended up saying to him, “So now here I am, holding an entry-level position with only a bachelor’s degree in a field that requires at least a masters at twenty-five.” I swallowed, irrational thoughts of impending doom overtaking my mind. “I’m sorry. I think I’m having a quarter-life crisis.”

"Why does everyone call it a quarter-life crisis when they're 25?” Harry asked abruptly. “We're not all going to live to be 100, most people will probably only be like 87. So how about calling it a quarter-century crisis? That's so much more accurate!"

I blinked.

“I’m sorry,” I said blankly. “Was that supposed to be helpful?”

His mouth hung open as what he said finally sunk in. “I… was trying to say something to change the subject but I can see now that it did nothing to help your current situation. I’m sorry.”

“Well,” I continued, trying to move on. “Bottom line, I can be a bitch and I’m sorry. I knew that today wouldn’t be easy for me and I used you to channel some of my frustration and anger, which was very unfair.” Pausing, I looked up at him sincerely. “I hope you’ll forgive me.”

“Forgiven,” he said without missing a beat, extending his hand. “I’ll hope you’ll forgive me for sticking my foot in my mouth several times tonight and being an overall pest.”

“Forgiven,” I repeated, shaking his hand.

*~*~*~*~*~*

As it turns out, Harry wasn’t half bad when I wasn’t going out of my way to find him annoying. Thalia had changed our entrance song to The Macarena, so we already had a choreographed dance to invite the crowd to join in on as we made our way to the head table. While the rest of the guests were occupied watching Niall and Thalia dance their way to their seats, he had snuck off and gotten me a plate of cheese and veggies from some unknown source.

We did a few obligatory dances, which Harry was awful at, but I was laughing so hard throughout them that it was almost possible to forget how miserable I’d been earlier in the day. I could tell that Harry was trying his best to make the night as enjoyable as possible, and I wish that I’d been easier on him before so that we could’ve been having more fun together throughout the rehearsals and picture taking.

By the end of the night, I sat back down at my seat, slumped over the table, exhausted, my high heels kicked off beneath the table. Harry stole the seat beside me, placing a hand on the back of my chair.

“All right?” he asked me.

I nodded, eyes getting heavy. “I’m too tired to party any more. I’m ready to turn in.”

Harry stood, offering me his hand. “I can walk you up to your room.”

Conveniently, the reception was in the hotel where the bridal party rooms were booked. Harry helped me strap my shoes back on before leading me toward the lobby. The elevator ride to our floor was silent, and I took the time to really admire his appearance. His skin was glowing from the exertion on the dance floor and the stress of the day. His tuxedo fit him nicely, tailored to perfection.

I remembered the saying the best way to get over one man is to get under another. I wondered if that were true.

“Harry,” I said. He didn’t reply verbally but rose his eyebrows, silently encouraging me. “Do you want to come to my room?”

He straightened as he took in my words.

“Aren’t you really drunk right now?”

“No,” I answered honestly. “I feel almost completely sober at this point.”

“Then sure,” he said, shrugging, but I could see his hands shake slightly as he gestured for me to exit the elevator before him.

I grabbed my keycard from my clutch, opening the door and throwing it on the side table. I turned around to see him standing there by the door, hesitating.

“Come in,” I said, walking further into the room. “Just let me… freshen up a bit.”

I went into the bathroom, applied more deodorant and brushed my teeth. I grabbed a makeup wipe from beside the sink, wiping away the thick layers that had been applied over twelve hours earlier.

When I reentered the room, Harry was still standing up, reading a flyer left by the housekeeping staff about local sites to visit. I walked up to him, gently taking the paper from his hand and putting it back on the table. I ran my hands along the front of his shirt, underneath his tuxedo jacket, pushing it gently off his shoulders. He shrugged out of it before moving to unbutton his shirt.

So, this is how this sort of thing goes, I thought to myself. We just get right to it?

I bit my lip, shifting my weight on my feet. Harry caught the movement, looking up.

He paused, fingers on the buttons by his wrist. “We can stop right now if you want,” he said quietly. “I’ll find a pay-per-view movie and we can drink more champagne.”

Charmed by his sweet offer, I paused, shaking my head. “No, I want to do this,” I told him. “I’ve just never been with anyone other than Adam.”

He tilted his head to the side, eyes friendly but amused.

“Are you,” he breathed, “nervous?”

When I didn’t reply immediately, he continued.

“Prickly, outspoken, pigheaded Jasmine Moore is nervous?”

I forced my feet to stay rooted to the ground as he slowly moved toward me. He had resumed unbuttoning the buttons by his wrists and slowly shrugged off his shirt. My gaze ran over his tan, muscled arms. I traced tattoos with my eyes, caressed smooth skin with my gaze. Up his arms, across the bit of chest that was exposed above the collar of his undershirt, up that long neck, and into those green eyes, bright even in the low lighting.

His gaze was provocative, not only that of a sexual nature, but I was reminded that before getting swept up in the sight of him wearing almost no shirt, he had been egging me on. His eyes shined with mirth, waiting for a retort. If he was trying to get me angry again, it was working. And I was grateful for it. Anger and impatience gave me confidence. He was throwing me a bone.

“I’m not nervous,” I said, my voice gaining strength. To prove it to him, I reached up and began carefully removing the pins from my hair. He watched my fingers work, following the tendrils until my auburn hair was down and framing my face. Smirking at him, I turned away, pulling my hair over one shoulder and showing him my back.

I glanced at him over my shoulder. “Unzip my dress for me,” I instructed.

His approach was slow, deliberate. He gently took the small zipper between his fingers, dragging it down my spine until he reached the end, just above my ass.

Before he could do anything further, I turned to face him once again. I stood before him in a black bra and matching pair of Spanx. Not exactly ideal lingerie, but I hadn’t been expecting to take anyone back with me to my hotel room at the end of the night. And anyway, judging by the look on Harry’s face, he wasn’t disappointed.

“You’ve been wearing this all day, have you?” he asked, gesturing to the tight fabric around my stomach and hips. “Best to get it off then?”

To be honest, I had been counting down the moments until I could get this blasted thing off. But Harry was playing, and I wanted to play right back.

“Not so fast,” I told him. “Take off your undershirt and trousers. I want to look at you.”

Amused, Harry waited a moment before reaching behind his head and tugging the collar of his tank top over his head. I watched his abdominal muscles flex as he folded his shirt and carefully placed it on the dresser. Without pause, he then went to remove his watch, biceps flexing with his arms in front of him. Making eye contact with me again, he brought his hands down to his belt buckle, undoing it lazily before unzipping his trousers and letting them drop to the floor, kicking off his shoes and taking off his socks.

And there he stood, just in front of me, in nothing but his boxer briefs, begging to be touched. I walked over to him, placing my hands on his chest. He lowered his face until it was close to mine, our noses brushing. His hot breath on my lips. When I felt him leaning in for a kiss, I took a step back, teasing.

He looked exasperated before he realized what I was doing. I hooked my thumbs into the elastic band at the top of my Spanx, trying my best to shimmy out of the fabric in a sexy way and not an “oh my god get me the fuck out of this” way. Mentally, I was quite closer to the latter.

“Much better,” I couldn’t help but sigh out when the restrictive fabric was pooled at the ground by my feet.

“I have to agree,” he replied, stepping toward me.

Now that our physical barriers were slowly disappearing, my emotional barriers seemed to have become a fortress. Even now, I couldn’t believe I was about to have sex with someone other than Adam. Having had no one but him for six years – or, really, no one but him for all of my twenty-five years – I couldn’t help but feel like this was a betrayal. But then I remembered that he had done exactly this while we were will still dating. While we were engaged. Any ounce of betrayal I felt transformed into dizzying nausea at the thought of someone else seeing him like this – especially when I had been home waiting for him.

Harry’s hand gently reached out to cup my cheek. “You alright?” he asked, his thumb stroking my chin.

I held his wrist in my hand, nodding. “Kiss me.”

His eyes went back and forth between mine and my lips twice before they closed, and his mouth was touching mine. I tilted my head, pressing my lips gently back.

And with that, all thoughts of Adam were extinguished from my mind. The feel of his skin on mine held me prisoner, the taste of his mouth was consuming, and his hands wound in my hair eclipsed almost everything else as our kiss lengthened and our gasps of breath shortened.

He started leading me toward the bed, my feet stumbling in my heels as he gently pushed me backwards. I kicked them off my feet once I was horizontal, the sound of them hitting the floor distracting neither of us, too focused at the task at hand.

My legs bracketed his hips, pulling him closer. His lips trailed down to my abdomen, kissing the skin. I gasped when he went so far as to gently pull the skin just below my navel in between his teeth.

“I wanted you from the moment I first saw you,” he said, voice low and gravelly and deep in his throat. “And then you opened your mouth, venomous sneers on your tongue, and I wanted you even more.”

My heart, already racing, was given a kickstart as heat pulled between my legs.

“That doesn’t make much sense,” I replied, desperate for him to do something else with his mouth as his hands slowly traced the skin of my hips and waist.

“No, it doesn’t,” he agreed. He reached behind me to unhook my bra, tossing it onto the floor. He stared at my nipples, hard enough to cut glass. “Doesn’t make it any less true.”

He took my right breast into his mouth, warm and wet, his tongue deadly. I tangled my hands into his messy hair, stray curls falling in front of his forehead.

“Please,” I gasped.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, mouth still at my breast.

“Please do something.”

“I am,” he grunted. “And I will not be rushed.”

All day, it had felt like I had been the one in control. He was walking around eggshells, working to please and impress me any way possible. Now, the dynamic had completely flipped. I felt like begging him to please just fuck me, dignity and pride aside. All it took were a few burning looks and searing kisses and I had transformed into complete putty in front of his eyes.

Mercifully, he stood up, fingers hooking in the sides of my underwear and slowly pulling them down my legs. In other circumstances, I may have been embarrassed at how ready he found me beneath the cotton, but I was drunk, had been stuck next to him nearly all day, staring at his beautiful body and handsome face, and it had been a while since I’d had the opportunity to be intimate with someone.

He looked up at my face briefly before settling on his knees before the bed and putting his mouth on my core. So this was what I had been missing out on for six years.

By the time he decided he was finished (and after I had nearly finished twice). He stood up, walking toward his discarded trousers on the floor. Reaching into his wallet, he pulled out a condom. I watched him, still naked and spread on the bed as he approached me once more and pulled down on his boxers.

I took him in, naked and hard before me. I made no effort to hide the effect seeing him in all his glory had on me. He was certainly gifted… in all aspects of his anatomy. Judging by the expression on his face, he was pleased with my reaction.

“How do you want it?” he asked me, staring at me lying before him.

I rolled onto my stomach, bending my knees and crossing my ankles behind me. “You choose,” I said coyly.

He chuckled, rounding the bed to the other side before surprising me and lying down on his back. He turned his head to look at me. Sensing my confusion, he said, “What are you waiting for?” He patted his bare thigh, just next to his cock. “Hop on.”

I bit my lip, intrigued. “Really?”

“If you want,” he replied easily. “But if you really were leaving it up to me to choose, this is how I’d do it. Definitely.”

I cocked my head to the side, pursing my lips and pretending to think about it.

“Fine,” I said, feigning resignation. I pushed up until I was on my knees, moving over to him. His hands came to my thighs as I moved to straddle him, steadying me as I adjusted. Reaching between us, I took him in my hand, stroking up and down his length a few times before guiding him to my entrance and slowly sinking down.

Harry’s hands tightened in reaction to the sensation and he let out a low groan. As I began to move on top of him, I grasped the back of his hands, moving them from my thighs to my breasts. He seemed quite pleased with their new position, even sitting up a bit to once again take one in his mouth. I continued to move my hips, tilting my head back as the pressure surmounted and the overwhelming sensation of being stimulated sent me over the edge. I rode it out as best as I could, but Harry gently flipped me back below him, taking over for me.

The effects of my orgasm left me feeling sensitive but having him inside me felt amazing and I never wanted it to stop. Eventually, however, he found his completion as well, his face buried in my neck and a low groan sounding in my ear. I ran my hands through his hair again, my fingers numb. After a few seconds of labored breathing, he rolled off me, disposing of the condom and settling on his back.

I felt his gaze on me and I eventually turned to look over at him.

“So?” he asked. “Was it a one-night-stand to remember?”

I laughed out loud, so hard that I even snorted. Harry started chuckling along with me.

Men, I thought to myself. Always so insecure in the bedroom.

“Yes,” I replied eventually, still giggling. “You did a fine job.”

He rolled his eyes, turning on his side after shutting off the lamp.

“Happy to be of service,” he said sardonically. “You didn’t do so bad yourself.”

It would certainly be a night I’d always remember, and not just because Thalia had gotten married. I’d allowed myself to loosen up a bit, and accepted the fact that life wasn’t always planned out. Sometimes it was better to live in the moment and make it count.

#1dff #exchanges

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apotatomashedbybts · 6 years ago

Text

I'll Be Your Knight

[GENRE: fluff, slight angst

Pairing: Jimin×reader , Taegi

Soulmate!Taehyung, BestFriend!Yoongi

Word Count: 2.6k+]

[Summary: When Y/n met Jimin she knew that it was a love at first sight. But she didn't expect the consequences that came with loving him. After their unwilling separation will Y/n be able to do what it takes to get him back?

A story of love, loss, fight, dreams, and friendship...]

Chapter VII : Problem Solved?

"You are going to regret taking the decision." I said cracking my knuckles.

"That's quite bold of you to think when you are up against us alone!" saying this they started laughing.

"Sorry, but she is not alone." Yoongs said calmly after appearing in the scene.

It took us for about half an hour to take them all down including those two guys who were keeping Jimin and Tae under guard. The local police arrived lead by some of the kids who fled away earlier when the fight had already ended.

"You have to come with us to the police station. We need your statement regarding this case." the police officer told us after arresting the gang.

I looked around for Tae and Jimin but in the midst of all these they had disappeared somewhere. As the police were getting impatient I decided to text Tae. After getting into the police car I texted him.

At the police station they took our statements and let us go.

After coming out of there I called Tae.

Me: Hello! Hey dumbhead! Where did you and Jimin disappear to?

Tae: Aish! Sorry sorry! But I have a really good reason for our disappearance! Let's meet at the café!

Me: We'll be a bit late because we came here in police car. We have to take the bus to our uni as Yoongs' car is there. So wait for us a little bit.

Tae: Okay bye!

Our neighborhood's favourite café, Evdaimonía. It had changed a lot! Specially they added a lot more to the menu and there were a few changes in the decoration but our favourite barista, uncle Steve hadn't changed at all. He beamed with happiness as usual as he used to whenever we came here.

We took our usual seat and uncle added one more chair to the table as our group was no more of three.

Sitting down I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes at Tae, "The 'good' reason please."

"You'll be surely surprised after I tell you what we found out! So when you were busy talking with the police I saw that Su-yeon was peeking out beside the boundary near the road. There was something suspicious about her so Jimin and I went to her. She was shocked at first and then out of the blue asked that why was Yoongi hyung helping you. And that's where she exposed herself! We interrogated her and she finally gave in. She told us that she was jealous of you hanging out with ME, Hobi and now Jimin too. That's why she paid those thugs to attack you. And as she got to know that Yoongi hyung was on your side too she was more jealous."

"Holy mother! I can't believe that she can go this far!" I palm slapped my forehead.

"Don't worry! Tae took care of the situation pretty boldly!" Jimin said laughing.

"No please don't tell them! Why should you betray me like this?" Tae pleaded to Jimin.

"Now I am curious! Tell us what did he do?" I looked at Jimin.

"My heart is still beating remembering the scenario. He grabbed her arm making her face him and said that you are his childhood best friend and it hurts him when someone hurts you. Then he pressed her to the wall and whispered 'if you love me that much then you wouldn't want to hurt my best friend. You are not planning on getting into my hate list, are you sweetheart?'." Hearing this all three of us cringed real hard and my ears were all itchy because of that. Tae kept his forehead on the table with his hands around it and whined, "You all are dead to me!"

"Come on Tae, we all know you did that for y/n! Not everyone gets a best friend like you." Yoongi chimed.

At this Tae looked up and smiled. "Confess already boy!" I thought.

"From now on she will not bother you! So no need to thank me, just treat me your mom's strawberry cheesecake tomorrow!" Tae said giggling.

"You can have the strawberry cheesecake tomorrow Taehyung dear but now you have to try today's special, Gyro and here's your coke." Uncle Steve appeared with a smile on his face and a tray of as he said Gyro on his hands. After putting that on the table he patted Tae's head and said, "You did a good job!" And went away to attend other customers.

Uncle Steve moved here eleven years ago from a beautiful city named Patras in Greece. He had been a favourite of everyone since he settled here, specifically for his great cooking, generous heart and a photographic memory. We used to visit his café frequently and loved stories from his hometown.

While returning me and Tae huddled together at the back seat of Yoongs' car because of the cold, we were literally shaking. Both Yoongs and Jimin were laughing at us. "Will you two ever stop being a child?" Yoongs said while keeping his eye on the road as he was driving as usual. "Neverrr" we shouted together and this made Jimin to burst out in laughter.

Tae pinched me and signalled with his eyes towards Jimin. I pinched him back and signalled my eyes towards Yoongs and that marked the beginning session of our pinching each other session. "Yah! Stop you two or I'll throw both of you out of the car!" Yoongs scolded us.

"Yes sir!" We saluted Yoongs and pretended to fall asleep.

We reached Jimin's home first. After he went inside the castle I relaxed at the back seat and a feeling of melancholy washed over me. I tried hard to not cry, so I leaned my head on Tae's shoulder and held his hand. I guess that was a wrong decision because that made me more weak and I ended up crying.

"Geez! Stop! It's not like you are not going to see him anymore! It's just one night! You'll get to see him tomorrow again! You'll get married and have dozens of kids! Don't worry!" saying this Tae pulled me into a side hug.

I smiled in his hug and said, "I know!"

Maybe I was happy that's why I agreed too quickly to Tae's proposal of playing overwatch that evening. But I didn't regret it. It's fun sometimes. But I managed to persuade Tae to sleep within 11 pm as we were supposed to wake up at dawn.

At university the next morning I was quite surprised to see the change in Su-yeon and her friends' behaviour. I felt relieved and it was all thanks to Tae. Yesterday I told my mom about the incident and she was like, "Oh no! Are those boys really hurt? Should we give them a visit at the hospital?"

My mom had always been too confident in me that nothing can happen to me and had always been worried about Tae rather than me and Yoongs. Well, I could see a valid reason behind that but I still wanted her to sometimes show some concern about me and Yoongs. I told her about Tae's caprice and she became just as happy as Tae was and told me to bring my other friends including Yoongs.

I let out a sigh thinking about all these and decided to invite Jimin and Hobi after the first lecture.

We all arrived at my home at about 4 pm. Mom was just really excited to have so many guests at home. She made everyone feel at home.

"You all have to stay tonight at our home. I won't hear an objection from any of you! Call your parents and inform them." Mom said, well basically ordered.

Tae shouted hearing this, "YESSSSSSSSSS you are the best!!! Slumber party tonight!!" and started dancing. Seeing him I couldn't control myself. I started dancing with him too. Seeing us Hobi joined too. And we moved in circles around the living room making a train and danced and shouted our lungs out. Jimin rolled down laughing and then joined us while Yoongs sighed smiling and went into the kitchen to help mom. After eating strawberry cheesecake to our heart's content we went to our backyard and played badminton until evening. When it started getting really cold, dad came and made a bonfire and placed chairs around it. It was like a camping experience. He started to tell all these ghost stories that made Tae to spook out from time to time. After half an hour dad went in to help mom in cooking. Then I started to tell stories of ghosts and urban legends to scare Tae. Though he was scared, he still wanted me to go on. He was so engrossed in my story that he didn't notice when Hobi went up behind him. Hobi made a shushing gesture and shouted real hard near Tae's ear. Tae got scared out of his wits and jumped on Yoongs' lap as he was nearest to Tae. We all started laughing like hyenas, specially Hobi. "That's not fair!" Tae whined, "I won't talk with any of you!"

A second had passed and then Yoongs cleared his throat, "Tae you are still on my lap. You are heavy. Would you mind?"

Realising that Tae sprang up and smiling sheepishly he said, "I think aunty is calling me. I'll be back after sometime!" Then he went in quickly, basically ran. I could totally picturise that he went to mom, whined for sometime complaining about us and then probably went to my room and pulled his hair out of embarrassment. I smiled imagining that and when I was about to tell Yoongs to go after him I noticed that Jimin was looking at me with fondness. My heart felt like clenching. Was what I was seeing true? Why was he looking at me like that? Noticing my expression perhaps Jimin looked away immediately and started talking with Hobi. I looked down not knowing what to do and tried to clear my thought process.

Much to my convenience, mom called us in for dinner right after that. After entering the dining room we were all astounded seeing the dishes.

"Mom! How did you prepare such a sumptuous feast in such a short time? And why do you never treat me like this?" I rolled my eyes at mom.

"She loves us more than she loves you~" Tae came in the dining room singing and hugged mom.

"Yeah! I can totally see that! But whatever, the food isn't complaining to get into my stomach! That's my true love! The rest of you can go wherever you want!" I said while sitting down.

At this Tae said after sitting down beside me, "But you won't survive without us. Now now don't cry and here serve me some food." I smacked Tae and took away his plate.

"They are never gonna stop. Let them be and let's eat!" Dad said laughing.

We were hungry too so we didn't delay and started eating. Mom and dad talked a lot with Hobi and Jimin. They seemed to like them both a lot. It felt like a complete family. I looked at everyone and smiled to myself. I was happy.

After eating we all went to my room upstairs and built blanket forts and played Cards against Humanity until 12 am. It was so much fun. We got hungry while laughing. So Tae sneaked into the kitchen and brought ice-cream for all of us!

"Go to sleep after eating this! I don't want to miss my morning routine because of y'all." I announced and prepared to go to sleep.

"I want to sleep beside Yoongi hyung!" Tae raised his hand. Yoongs had always preferred to sleep at the end. So at the right most side was he, then beside him was Tae. Somehow Tae managed Hobi to say that he wanted to sleep beside him. And he knew that I had also always liked to sleep at the end side. When I saw where the course of the arrangement was going I realized what Tae was thinking of. "Does he want me to die?" I questioned myself. "This is not how you should do a Cupid's job, you dumbhead!" I facepalmed, visibly. Seeing my expression Tae smiled innocently at me and mouthed "Good luck". And I replied,"I will kill you."

Laying beside Jimin I didn't know what to do. My heart was racing too fast for my own good. After sometime when everyone had fallen asleep I opened my eyes slowly and looked at him. His face looked so peaceful like a baby. I wanted to cup his cheeks and leave small kisses all over his face. I didn't know how much time had passed by while being engrossed in him. I wanted the time to stop so that I can get more time. But turning all my wishes to ashes Tae suddenly sneezed really loudly. Afraid that it might wake Jimin up I pretended to sleep and didn't know when I fell asleep.

I never expected this at all! But now here I am, lying beside y/n, pretending to sleep. Today when she invited me to her house I became really happy and anxious at the same time. Arriving at her house I didn't get to know how the time passed so quickly. May be because by her side time always gets shy and flies away quickly. When she smiles I can't but keep looking at her. When she is happy it makes me happy too.

Her mom today reminded me of my mom. I miss her so much. I wish I could tell my mom that "Mom I found someone whom I want to protect, take care and love." May be I should leave out the 'protect' word, as y/n/n is the one who protects. I wonder when I could gather enough courage to tell her that I love her. I am not sure. I can feel her looking at me now but it may be just an infatuation. Does she love me as much as I love her? My heart is beating so fast. Did she notice? I can never know.

Taehyung is definitely a rescue angel as y/n/n said. To my rescue he sneezed really loudly, though not intentionally but still I felt thankful as that made y/n/n to go to sleep. After sometime as she started snoring softly I opened my eyes and looked at her sleeping face. So peaceful yet so charming. I don't how much time passed by looking at her but I eventually fell asleep.

This is just too hard! I know I did a blunder to myself after deciding to sleep next to Yoongi hyung. He is sleeping so peacefully without any worries and here I am struggling with my own feelings. But it's worth it if y/n/n and Jimin get to sleep next to each other. "For how long are you going to stare at him?" I questioned y/n/n mentally. I know that it's not going to end soon so I decided to try to sleep.

Why am I feeling like sneezing? I don't want to ruin her moment. "Stop stop! Don't come out!" I tried to convince my sneeze but in vain. After sneezing loudly, I can't control it, I saw that y/n/n lied down properly to sleep. And after some time Jimin woke up and was doing the same thing as y/n/n was doing all this while. I sighed happily as I got to realise that Jimin loves her too and fell asleep.

Other chapters

A/n: How are you all doing? Is it winter in your place too? If it is then stay warm and healthy. And if it's not then enjoy your holidays 😊 Thank you for reading. Please like and share. I would appreciate that a lot. Love you all 💜💜💜

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timeagainreviews · 6 years ago

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“I call people dude now!”

Hello friends! Over the weekend I had myself a pretty difficult time. I learned a friend of mine is dying and there’s nothing that can be done for it. Because of this, I am not sure how long or thought out this article will be. I might just touch on some key elements from last night’s episode. Either way, I do have half of a Twin Peaks article written, and Edge of Destruction has been viewed, so expect those soon. Also, a friend of mine asked me to submit an article for her zine, and I will be writing that for both this and the zine. You can probably expect that one soon as well!

So far Chris Chibnall has proven to be an interesting showrunner. I’ve not hidden my disdain for his writing at times, but in other ways, I really do enjoy his work. His scripts have the tendency to be like a box of bran cereal with a really cool toy at the bottom. There’s a lot that works, and there’s a lot that doesn’t. One of my biggest issues with "Dinosaurs on a Spaceship," was how dour and depressing it was at times. With a title like that, you’d expect something more lighthearted. When I saw the trailer for last night’s episode, my biggest hope would be that it was more akin to "Gremlins 2." Something kind of camp and silly, which in some ways we did get.

The episode opens in a large hotel in Sheffield. A man named Jack Robertson (a Donald Trump proxy) is discussing the logistics of a vague problem that could "cost [him] in 2020." The woman he’s speaking to, Frankie, is his niece’s wife, though he had to be reminded of this. So far, we don’t like this guy much. His bodyguard waits to whisk him off to his plane, while he tells Frankie to make their problem disappear, though she’s not so sure it’s that easy. Before they can discuss this any further, they are interrupted by a woman named Najia Khan, the general manager of the hotel. She’s there to check up on things before the grand opening. Very callously Robertson fires her (further solidifying his Donald Trump status, and his role as the hotel owner) seemingly for interrupting his nefarious meeting. He gives Frankie and hour to "make this all go away."

Before saying anything else, I would like to talk about that time vortex sequence! How cool was that? The last time we saw the time vortex in such intimate detail was "Timelash," which if you ask the fandom, was pretty bad. (Though I sorta love it for that.) Elements of it reminded me of the hyperspace scenes from "Babylon 5," and other elements reminded me of "Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure," how you could take certain avenues to sort of dial a point in time. The way the sequence segues into the console room was a beautiful bit of production value series eleven has needed. (Even those god-awful closeups were missing!)

Watching the Doctor and her companions all fly the TARDIS, was kind of great. I was reminded of the scene in "Journey’s End," when the Doctor and his friends pilot the TARDIS together. I loved the idea of her still getting used to the controls. If you’ve not watched the video on YouTube of the production crew talking about the TARDIS interior, you really should. It’s a lovely glimpse into the design process. Not to be outshone, the exterior of the TARDIS, in its brilliant aqua blue, lands in Sheffield. This may be one of the Doctor’s best landings ever. She’s in Sheffield, it’s the right period, they’re right outside Yaz’s, and it’s only been thirty minutes since they were teleported away from the warehouse into the depths of space.

The Doctor made good on her promise- she brought her friends home. Looking like a kicked puppy, it’s more than obvious she doesn’t want to say goodbye. Yaz, picking up on this, invites her and the others up for tea. It’s a rather sweet scene. Graham, who’s not yet had any downtime to mourn since the funeral, decides to nip back home for a moment. Ryan offers to join, but Graham needs to do it alone. It’s a nice bit of character development between them. I rather loved it.

While heading into Yaz’s flat, the Doctor notices a worried woman trying to reach the occupant of a flat a couple doors down. She also notices a bit of spiderweb but doesn’t pay it much mind. Yaz lives with her family still, and we’re introduced to her dad and sister. I’ve been saying how I wanted a bit more Yaz, and this episode really delivers. Her dad is pretty much instantly likeable. He’s excitable, friendly, and has a personal project of keeping rubbish in the living room, or "evidence," as he calls it. It’s a conspiracy! Yaz’s sister is the typical bratty little sister. The banter they share was also charming. She teases Yaz that she’s surprised she even has friends. Yaz is usually too married to her job to worry about friends. Yaz counters with “At least I have a job to be married to.” I like sassy Yaz.

The Doctor is being her usual self- a bit weird. Marvelling at a couch is not exactly normal. Historically, she’s always been rather enamoured with the mundane elements of human life. Things like having a flat, going to work, watching a bit of telly, are all parts of a life she can never have. Yaz’s sister, Sonya, probes Ryan about his relationship to Yaz. She clearly has the hots for him. Yaz’s father, Hakim, wants to know if the police have followed up on the rubbish he’s collected. Before she can answer, Yaz’s phone rings revealing Najia to be her mother on the other end. She tells her she needs a ride home from work. (If you recall from my "The Woman Who Fell to Earth," review, I wondered if she didn’t have a mother, well she does!)

The sisters’ bickering as Yaz leaves, reminds the Doctor of her sisters. It also reminds her of the time she was a sister at an aqua-hospital, that actually turned out to be a training camp for the "Quiston Calcium Assassins." Ryan responds with "Going off on one again…" Which is what she’s doing right? Going off on a little tangent. Then why is it that the line really irked me? The Doctor is known for always telling stupid little stories, but this one really got to me. It’s right up there with suddenly having Audrey Hepburn or maybe Pythagoras’ sunglasses in her pockets. It’s a question of when. When would she have been a sister with some order of nuns?

The Doctor has always been male leading up to this point. So when would she be a woman in a past life to do this? When in this life would she have done this and not had Ryan around to have witnessed it first hand? If it’s just Chibnall trying to be cute, he’s really bad at it. It leaves you asking the wrong kind of questions, and for me, actually took me out of the story for a moment. Another implication is some "The Brain of Morbius" level fuckery indicating that the First Doctor, is not in fact, the first incarnation, which you could make an argument for. The War Doctor didn’t go as "the Doctor," which makes him "The War Doctor," and not "The Ninth Doctor." Another implication is that one of the past incarnations had a bit of a drag phase, which I could actually see. Both Two and Three have dressed in drag before. Either way, it’s a bad line and Chibnall should feel bad. (Ok rant over)

The Doctor notices that the Khans have a parcel to pick up from the neighbour down the way. She offers to go pick it up while Yaz’s dad cooks his terrible pakora. We’re now back with Graham at his home. We see more of that portentous spiderweb. The house is empty and feels lifeless. It’s the first time he’s been back home since Grace died and is haunted by her essence, as depicted by having Sharon D Clarke actually there as Grace. She talks to him about all of the little things around the house he’ll need to remember to keep the house in working order. He indicates that he has something else to tell her, but it’s left unsaid. He sits and smells her clothes, trying to remember her. Anyone who has ever lost a loved one can immediately identify with this. I found these moments with Graham and Grace very effective. He’s interrupted by a sound up in Ryan’s room, where he finds massive strands of spider web, and the moulted exoskeleton of a spider the size of a house cat.

Graham isn’t the only one dealing with large spiders though. The Doctor and Ryan are about to discover these overgrown arachnids themselves. The parcel they’re picking up is at the same flat where the woman, we now know as Jade, was trying to reach her friend Anna. They both work in the same lab at their uni. After confirming Anna may be in trouble, the Doctor sonics the door open. Inside, the flat is covered in the same webbing as Ryan’s room. I’m reminded of "Mulholland Drive," where Naomi Watts and Elena Harring search the apartment of Diane Selwyn. Rather horrified, they discover the body of poor Anna, cocooned in spiderweb. "Spiders don’t do that, do they?" asks Ryan, but the Doctor asks a more important question- where is the spider that did this now?

Many people are squeamish about spiders. My mate Gerry’s wife sat this episode out, due to an intense dislike of the little creatures. Which is why I found myself rather amused when they finally show the spider, and it’s actually a bit cute. It’s a brown house spider, once again, about the size of a cat, but it is rather aggressive toward the Doctor, Ryan and Jade. Using some quick thinking, the Doctor uses vinegar and garlic paste to keep the spider quarantined, as the noses in spiders’ feet are sensitive to these substances. She creates a sort of perimeter around the spider which seems to work. Now outside the flat, they meet up with Graham who has also seen some freaky stuff today! Graham gives Ryan a sealed letter that he found back home. It’s from his father, who if you remember correctly, didn’t attend Grace’s funeral. The Doctor asks Jade to take her back to the lab where she’s been testing on spiders. Hakim and Sonya are having pakora alone tonight it would seem.

The Doctor tells Jade she thinks she knows more than she leads on. She questions Jade about their experiments, but Jade defends their practices. They’ve been doing everything within the law. The spider carcasses are disposed of by a special containment unit. She doesn’t know why the spiders are mutating. Jade has been plotting out instances of giant spiders on a map in the lab. In what may be one of the most overused tropes in cinema history, the Doctor connects the dots with a series of lines all pointing to one centre point. It’s a bit stupid when you realise she could have just pointed at the centre point of the dots to the exact same effect, but that wouldn’t look as cool right? The centre point is, of course, the hotel Najia just got fired from, where she’s still waiting for Yaz.

Frankie walks through a pair of doors marked with danger warnings, into an underground tunnel that looks like rock that’s been excavated by human hands. It’s full of spider web. Timid and afraid, Frankie moves forward with her camera phone but is taken suddenly to her doom by an offscreen spider. Back in the lobby, Jack Robertson and Kevin confront Najia and Yaz who has just arrived. I was slightly frustrated by the fact that Kevin pulls a gun on Yaz and she doesn’t mention once that she’s a police officer. Not once does she cite any kind of statute or even try and calm the situation as a police officer. They explain that Yaz was there to pick her up, but feeling antagonistic, Robertson wants to show Yaz how bad her mother is at her job, and why he fired her. He takes them to a room full of spider web.

While in the room, Yaz thinks she hears something through the walls but is called away by the Doctor who is now outside the hotel with Jade, Ryan, and Graham. Still in the room, Kevin and Robertson are confronted by a very large spider, about the size of a car. Robertson very cowardly leaves Kevin as bait as he’s dragged into the depths underneath the hotel to his death. Poor Kevin.

The Doctor, using psychic paper (a nice callback I was hoping to see) tells Robertson she’s there on official business and goes about looking for the source of the spiders. Ryan and Graham know exactly who he is, as he’s a bit famous. Their standing there grinning like idiots at Robertson was cute. I loved the bravery the Doctor shows when sticking her head into the giant spider-sized hole to get a peek, and what a peek she gets! She pulls her head back just in time as the giant spider lunges at her and they all sprint toward the exit of the hotel, which has now been completely webbed up, which it hadn’t been before. The spiders are trapping them in!

The Doctor refers to Yaz’s mum since she knows the hotel so intimately. They go hide out in the kitchen where everyone begins asking questions. The Doctor doesn’t seem to know who Robertson is, much to his annoyance. She rather humorously asks if he’s the Ed Sheeran she’s been hearing so much about. Robertson, it turns out, is gunning for the presidency in 2020, mostly out of disdain for Trump. So he can’t be all bad, right? Robertson butts against the Doctor’s authority, but the companions in a sign of solidarity let him know with no uncertainty that she’s in charge. The Doctor sends Ryan and Graham to capture a spider for Jade to inspect and takes everyone else to find a map of the hotel.

Graham and Ryan find a spider and catch it in a cooking pot, only to get chased down the hall by an agitated army of arachnids. It’s about the closest the spiders get to being actually scary in the entire episode. If you don’t suffer from arachnophobia, it’s really rather tame. The true villain, as it turns out, is capitalism. It’s revealed that Robertson built the hotel on top of an old mine that was used as a landfill. It’s a profitable endeavour from his perspective. Get paid to cart off a bunch of rubbish, find use for a disused mine, and build a lavish resort on top of it! This explains the rubbish Mr Khan had been finding sprouting up all around Sheffield. While looking over maps, Najia wants to know how Yaz knows the Doctor and even asks if they’re in a relationship. The Doctor naively asks Yaz if they are, as she’s been ignorant to this sort of thing in the past. (Be still my heart.) They find the entrance to the mine on the map and set off.

As they barge past the danger doors, Robertson protests, trying to use his powerful status to keep everyone from discovering his dirty secret. He tries to stop Najia, and in what may be the best line of the episode she defiantly looks him in the eye and says "You’re not the boss of me anymore." Oof. Good one, girl. Now inside, they find the bodies of Frankie, Kevin, and several others, all of whom met the same fate as poor Anna. Even the callous Robertson can’t hide the tinge of guilt on his face, though it doesn’t stop him from pocketing Kevin’s web caked gun. Anna, who had spider pheromones on her from the lab, attracted spiders to her home from this location. (Why neither Jade nor the lab had been affected, or why they were attracted to the O'Brien homestead is anyone’s guess.) In a very "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles," moment, it’s revealed that the toxic waste of gases building up, and the improperly disposed spider carcasses created a sort of mutagenic stew to breed giant mutant spiders. It’s all a rather stupid explanation, but I kind of love it for that. It was Laird and Eastman’s Doctor Who. I’m all for it.

Back in the kitchen, Jade tells Ryan and Graham she needs a bigger specimen, which basically is only written in as an excuse to give the two of them something to do. It’s a bit sloppy and doesn’t go anywhere. It does, however, give us a nice opportunity to have a bit of a heart to heart between Graham and Ryan. Ryan tells Graham that he read the letter from his father. He mentions he doesn’t like that his father referred to himself as the only proper family Ryan had left, indicating that he still thinks of Graham as family. Does this mean we might hear him call Graham "Granddad," soon? Their heart to heart is cut short, however, when they are confronted in the ballroom by a giant spider.

Once again, the spiders aren’t very scary, as the two of them escape rather quickly and they’re back in the kitchen. Why the kitchen has been established as the safest place in the hotel, is still unknown, but Yaz’s mum said! Robertson reveals he has a panic room installed in the hotel. He has one in every hotel, as he’s a bit of a paranoid guy. When he had it installed in case the poor ever decided to rise up and eat the rich, I’ll bet he didn’t foresee them being spiders! The panic room has an ocular scanner, a small green laser that really should have blinded him if I’m being honest, but hey, it looks cool! In the panic room, Robertson has enough food and drink to survive for six months. He also had a rather swank entertainment system with a flat screen and giant speakers. Using Ryan’s phone, the Doctor devises a plan! (Always with Ryan’s phone, that one.)

The next sequence is something akin to the campiness I was hoping we would get from this episode- hip hop spiders! Drawn to the sick beats from Ryan’s phone, and Robertson’s sound system, the spiders all gather inside the panic room where the Doctor and her friends trap them inside. Robertson, however, has become increasingly paranoid in the face of being the least powerful man in the room and has decided to take refuge in the safety of his gun.

The Doctor puts together a very "Ghostbusters," style backpack garden sprayer filled with peppermint and tea tree oil diluted in water. She plans on using this natural spider repellant as a way to wrangle the big spider that chased Graham and Ryan in the ballroom. After all, there’s the Sheffield Comic Con there in a week, they need it empty! However, the spider is behaving strangely. Under the weight of its own mass, the poor beast is struggling to breathe. The Doctor takes pity on it, and apologises to it, as she knows it’s going to die. Then the real monster enters the room in the form of Robertson wielding a gun. He fires a single shot into the spider, killing it, and angering the Doctor.

Now back at their homes, the companions all seem to be slightly removed from their roots. Before walking out of her flat, Yaz is told by Najia she still wants to know how she came to know the Doctor. There’s a sort of Jackie Tyler "I want to know who my daughter is out galavanting with," element to her questioning that I liked. They all convene back at the TARDIS, still parked outside Yaz’s. The Doctor invites them in, expecting to have to say goodbye. Instead, they decide they would rather travel with her. Graham says he’d rather grieve with her, than in an empty house. Ryan has no desire to resume working in a warehouse, and Yaz wants to see the universe. I rather like the responsibility the Doctor has been taking with her companions’ safety, as she tells them in no certain terms, that travelling with her will be dangerous. They all accept, and the Doctor christens their new "fam," as "the TARDIS team." Then, all together, they pull the lever and the TARDIS takes them on their next adventure!

And that’s it, really. Which I must say, was a bit disappointing. Not the entire episode, but the ending. It sort of fizzled out. While I was actually rather pleased to see the spiders weren’t treated as big evil monsters, it would have been nice to actually have some sort of final showdown. Maybe Ryan gets webbed up and they had to save him before it was too late. Something. Sadly, most of the danger was short-lived, or off camera. Also, what actually happened with the spiders? Will they spend the rest of their lives listening to garage beats? How many of them were still out in the wild? Did the waste get cleaned up? Will there be a public outcry? Are there more people dead in their homes, wrapped in a gauze of spider web? What’s the difference between killing spiders outright, and starving them in a panic room? Lots of unanswered questions.

I liked that they gave us more interior shots of the TARDIS. I liked that the console room still has Gallifreyan written somewhere. With as much change as the show has gone through, it’s nice to see that continuity. Speaking of change, Jodie Whittaker continues to sparkle as the Doctor. But I did have some issues with her role in this episode. Aside from wrangling spiders, and figuring out what was happening, the Doctor doesn’t actually do much in the episode. I mean, did she do anything to ensure this won’t continue to happen?

While I rather liked Jack Robertson’s campy turn as the villain, even his story seemed to fizzle out. Considering the Doctor had once taken down the prime minister with six words, I expected her to give Robertson a warning or something. But alas, he, like every villain this season, lives to fight another day. Doctor Who writer Paul Magrs said on twitter recently that Missy would have made them into mincemeat by now, and I’m inclined to agree. The Doctor and her crew have yet to really face a truly terrifying foe. The stakes have been disappointingly low. I’m beginning to expect we’ll see a sort of legion of men scorned by the Doctor come together at the end of this series. Perhaps they’ll form a society of the Doctor’s evil exes. Is this all turning out to be one big metaphor for misogyny? Maybe. Regardless, I must say I rather enjoyed this one.

#doctor who #arachnids in the uk #thirteenth doctor #jodie whittaker #chris chibnall #graham o'brien #ryan sinclair #yasmine khan #yaz #time and time again #bbc #tardis

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socialdegenerate · 6 years ago

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Fanfic: 新しいレシピー

I’m officially on uni holidays for a couple weeks so that means fic time. I’m using RNG to pick the squares for me, so I’ll hopefully keep going until I randomly get a bingo! Here’s the info if you’re interested, and here’s a chart if you want to do your own.

Final Fantasy XV Gladnis | Gladiolus Amicitis x Ignis Scientia SFW 1,895 words

Gladnis Fanwork Bingo square: New Recipe Bingo tag

This was, without a doubt, the worst idea Ignis had ever had.

It was underhanded and rude and most likely wouldn’t end well, but he’d tried everything else and had either lost his nerve or it had flown straight over Gladio’s head. Ignis supposed that was his own fault for always getting so tongue-tied around Gladio and not getting his words out right, although he really should have been able to do better.

In any case, Noctis had been quite gleeful in repeating all the rumours he’d heard about Gladio’s apparently quite active love life, and it was becoming painfully obvious that Ignis would lose his chance completely if he didn’t hurry up and grow a spine. He didn’t put much stock in gossip, but he’d personally witnessed the way women and men alike were completely entranced by Gladio; it wasn’t hard to believe that people were lining up to go out with him.

Shaking out his hands to stop them from trembling, Ignis took a deep breath and hit the call button on his phone, Gladio’s contact information being replaced by the dialling screen.

“Hey Igs, what’s up?” Gladio answered, sounding as cheerful as ever. It made Ignis smile despite his nerves, and he took a deep breath.

“I was wondering if you’d like to come over to my apartment for dinner tonight?” When Gladio didn’t respond straight away, Ignis nervously babbled through the rest of his explanation. “I have some new recipes I’d like to try, and I thought you might like to help me test them out?”

“You know I’d never turn down a free feed, especially if you’re cooking. Why not do it at Noct’s, though?”

“Ah,” Ignis said, frantically searching for an excuse. Of course he didn’t want Noctis around while he was trying to spend alone time with Gladio, but he couldn’t bring himself to admit that. “I don’t need him to know how many vegetables I’m hiding in there. If I tell him to order a pizza, he’ll think it’s a reward.”

Gladio laughed, and Ignis was glad he couldn’t see the way Ignis’ cheeks went pink with pride. “The kid loves you, but he’d eat chicken nuggets for every meal if you let him. When do you want me?”

Always, Ignis didn’t say. “Does seven work for you? I know you’re busy, so if it doesn’t I can-”

“Seven is great,” Gladio interrupted, giving Ignis time to take a breath. “Do you want me to bring anything?”

“The pleasure of your company is all I need,” Ignis said before he could stop himself. Luckily Gladio just laughed, sounding altogether too fond.

“Alright, I’ll see you later then. I’m looking forward to it.”

“Me too,” Ignis said with a smile, his heart pounding in his chest. “Have a good day, Gladio.”

“Likewise, Iggy.” The line went dead and Ignis slumped down in relief, unable to wipe the grin from his face. Step one was a success, and that was probably the hardest step of them all.

...Now he had to actually think up some new recipes.

Gladio was in a good mood as he wandered up to Ignis’ apartment, his stomach already rumbling at the thought of eating Ignis’ food. Jared’s cooking was top-notch, but there was something about having a cute guy cook for him that made Ignis’ food taste better.

It felt especially good to have been invited to Ignis’ apartment, considering that Gladio knew how much Ignis valued his private space. He’d been there a few times but they tended to spend most of their time together at the Citadel or Noctis’ apartment. It felt...more intimate to be alone in Ignis’ apartment, and Gladio had to remind himself not to make it something more than it was.

Knocking on Ignis’ door, Gladio shifted on his feet as he waited impatiently. He’d rushed over from the gym to be a little early, knowing Ignis appreciated that, but now he was worried that he was too early. Still, he plastered on a cocky smile to cover up his thoughts and slouched casually when the door started to open.

“Gladio, I’m glad you could make it,” Ignis said, Gladio looking him up and down and immediately feeling underdressed. Figuring it was a casual thing, he’d thrown on a clean Crownsguard singlet and jeans and tied his hair back, but there Ignis was in a perfectly pressed shirt and dress pants, looking like he’d stepped off the front cover of a fashion magazine.

Of course, Gladio thought Ignis looked like a model no matter what, considering his easy grace and obscenely long legs and slim waist and-

“Gladio?” Ignis asked, looking a little concerned. Realising he’d completely zoned out, Gladio laughed loudly and scratched at his scalp, holding out the bag he’d brought with him.

“Sorry, got lost for a moment there. I know you said not to bring anything but I got you some wine.”

“You do remember I’m still underage for a few more months, right?” Ignis asked, stepped back and gesturing for Gladio to enter. He took the bag anyway, sliding the bottle out and giving an approving hum. “You have expensive taste.”

“Your cooking deserves it, and I won’t tell anyone about you drinking if you don’t tell anyone I bought it for you. Besides, gotta make the most of being twenty now,” Gladio said, slipping off his shoes and trying not to drool at the delicious smells filling the apartment.

Ignis laughed and stepped past Gladio, leading the way further into apartment. “You say that as if you’ve been asked for ID since you were, what, fifteen?”

“Thirteen, actually,” Gladio said with a grin. It wasn’t something he’d tended to take advantage of, but no one expected the tall guy with the five o’clock shadow to be in junior high.

Entering the combined kitchen/dining room, Gladio stopped short when he saw the perfectly set table, complete with tablecloth, floral centrepiece, and enough cutlery to rival a royal dinner event. “Titan’s boulders, you went all out tonight.”

“Ah, well…” Ignis said, his shoulders stiffening.

“Feels like I’m on a date at a fancy restaurant.” Laughing quietly to himself, Gladio stepped around the table and wandered over to the stove, lifting the lid on one of the pots simmering there.

“Put that down,” Ignis said, Gladio reluctantly doing as asked and muting the spicy fragrance from whatever was in there. “If you wouldn’t mind opening the bottle, I’ll have the first course plated up in a moment.”

Taking the bottle back from Ignis and sorting through the perfectly-organised kitchen for a corkscrew, Gladio poured each of them a generous glass and took a seat when invited to. The wine didn’t exactly pair with the soup that Ignis put in front of him but Gladio had never really understood that concept anyway- the food was delicious and the wine went down nicely, so he figured everything was doing what it was supposed to.

They’d shared most of the bottle by the time the third course was done- the amazing spicy curry that Gladio had seen on the stove- and Gladio was feeling loose enough to stop hiding the way he was watching Ignis across the table. He wasn’t drunk, nor even really tipsy, but Ignis was smiling more freely and conversation was flowing even more naturally than usual.

They’d somehow gotten onto the subject of their childhoods, and Gladio was almost howling with laughter at Ignis’ masterful storytelling, right down to his impressions of Regis and Cor. Gladio finally got himself under control and emptied his glass, sitting back in his seat and letting himself really see how beautiful Ignis was when his face was lit up with laughter.

“You know,” Gladio said suddenly as a thought occurred to him. “I know I said this seemed like a fancy date, but I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed a date this much.”

Ignis stammered, went bright red, and nearly knocked his knife to the floor, making Gladio freeze as the pieces started to click together.

The table setting that was over the top, even for Ignis.

Ignis’ outfit that was more suited for being out than for a night in his own home.

The fact that Noctis had been intentionally left out, when he was never left out of anything.

“Ignis,” Gladio said, and the fact that Ignis couldn’t meet his eyes was almost answer enough. “Is this a date?”

“I...uh...well…”

“Oh my gods, it is,” Gladio exclaimed, eyes wide. “I’m on a date with Ignis Scientia and I didn’t even know it.”

“I’m so sorry,” Ignis started again, but Gladio waved him down.

“Why didn’t you make it clear to my oblivious ass?”

“I��”

“I would’ve worn something nice! Brought flowers or something! Actually done my hair!”

“I...well…” Ignis stammered again, although this time Gladio let him take the time to put his thoughts back together. “I...kind of like the ponytail.”

“You do?” Gladio asked. Ignis nodded, and the pair of them just looked at each other for a long few moments, not quite sure what to say. Gladio swallowed hard, catching himself before he could nervously drum his fingers on the table, and he forced himself to speak.

“So...the dating thing.”

“I’ve tried to ask you before, but I get too nervous,” Ignis admitted, his eyes briefly flicking up to meet Gladio’s before looking away. “I thought once I...well, to be honest, I didn’t actually know what I’d do after you were here.”

“Not like you to be so unprepared,” Gladio said. He was still thrown off from apparently having been on a date that he hadn’t even known was a date, but if there was one thing he was good at it was going with the flow. “I would’ve said yes if I’d known. Just so you’re aware.”

“Oh,” Ignis said, his whole mood visibly lifting. “Like I said, I’m sorry about the...subterfuge.”

“If eating delicious food with a beautiful guy counts as subterfuge, you can subterfuge me any day.”

“That’s definitely not proper usage, but...I’m glad to hear it.” Ignis was fiddling with his wine glass, a faint smile on his lips, and Gladio knew there was only one thing to do.

“So, Iggy?”

“Yes?” Ignis asked, his head shooting up and the glass wobbling dangerously between his long fingers that always drove Gladio to distraction.

“Do you wanna go on a date with me?”

Ignis was silent for a few moments but then he let go of his tension and relaxed, his genuine, dorky smile brightening his whole face. “I’d love to. But as long as you’re here, would you like dessert?”

Gladio wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and had a napkin thrown at him in response, Ignis looking appropriately flustered. “I mean actual dessert, not whatever you’re thinking.”

“Shame,” Gladio said with an exaggerated sigh. “But yeah, I’d like that.”

As fun as it was to throw Ignis off his rhythm, it was better to see him smile like he’d never been happier, and Gladio couldn’t help but grin back with his heart full of warmth and love. By Shiva, he was so glad that Noctis and Prompto weren’t there to tease him about how sappy he was, but that was what Ignis did to him.

Gladio wouldn’t have it any other way.

#Final Fantasy XV #Gladnis #Gladiolus Amicitia #Ignis Scientia #FFXV #Fanfic #Gladnis Fanwork Bingo #why is it titled in japanese? because i hate new recipe jokes that's why

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looselucy · 7 years ago

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January

“It’s almost gone.” Zayn studied the bruise on my face. The elevator pinged as we reached our floor and slumped out, shoving Zayn’s hand away from my face. Thankfully, they’d fixed the lift pretty quickly. Less walking was always good for me. “Either way, I’m not going out tonight.” I groaned. “Why?” He whined. “It’s a Wednesday night! You’re not in til one tomorrow. It makes sense that we go out and get really drunk.” “I look like shit because the side of my face is fucking yellow, and I bet you’ve already invited Harry out, haven’t you?” I turned around as I unlocked the door to the flat, seeing the predicted guilty look cross his innocent little face. I shook my head as we wandered down to the kitchen, tossing my bag outside my bedroom door.

“I might have.” He grumbled. “Well then I’m not fucking coming. I’m not going anywhere he’s going to be.” “That’s pretty difficult, since you live with him.” “Okay, I have to ask.” I turned around to face him as he fell onto the sofa. “Why are you sticking up for him?” He sunk so far into the fabric, putting his feet up and rubbing his hand over his freshly shaved face, though knowing Zayn it would probably be thick and full again in about two days. The way his facial hair grew was ridiculous. “I chose to get involved in that fight, Pip. So did Louis. You’re being selective with what you remember. He pushed me away. He didn’t even want us to talk. He tried to keep us out of it, and we chose to get involved. I jumped in because he’s my mate. He does feel bad.” I sighed as I turned back around and flicked the kettle on, picking out two mugs and really not wanting to reply. I knew Zayn had come to terms with the fact me and Harry weren’t going to be best pals, but it was getting difficult being in that living situation, where I wouldn’t even let myself be in the same room as him. “I know he does.” I groaned. “He wants to explain himself to you.” Zayn spoke numbly. “Explain what? That he got into a fight over the fact that this guy fucked some girl he wanted? And we all got hurt thanks to it? I don’t want to hear his excuses. Maybe I’ll stop going to my room whenever he’s around, but I’m not going to listen to him. I don’t have the time.” Mike strolled out of his room with a spring in his step, only wearing boxers. It forever surprised me how comfortable all the lads were in their skin. I saw them without clothes on just as often as I saw them with clothes on. “Hello you two. You brewing up?” He asked me, cup already in his hand. “I am! Do you want one?” “I’d bloody love one.” He skipped over, dropping the mug in front of me and bending down the considerable distance to give me a kiss on the cheek. “We going out tonight?” “I’m trying to convince Pip to come out, but she won’t go anywhere Harry goes.” Right on cue, the front door opened. I knew it would be Harry coming back from his run, I think we all did, so we just shut up. Rather than trying to think up some new kind of conversation or pretend we were talking about something else to cover our tracks, we just fell into an awkward silence. Harry was breathless as he stepped into the kitchen in his running gear, empty bottle of water in hand, his hair scraped into another pathetic bun. Never in the history of mankind had it been so obvious someone had just walked into a room with people talking about them. His gulp was so exceedingly loud; there was no way he didn’t know. “Pippa, can I talk to you?” He fumbled. “No.” “I really want to talk to you.” “Tough.” “Pippa, come on!” Zayn loured. The kettle finally clicked, but I’d had enough by that point, I certainly wasn’t in the mood to make everyone a cup of tea and play happy families. I spun on my heel and stormed away from all of them, hearing Zayn trying to call me back to them as I clomped away. “I’m going to meet Louis.” Was all I said, picking my bag up off the floor and swinging it back over my shoulder. I had zero plans with Louis, but by the time I was in the elevator my phone was in my hand, praying he would answer, praying he would be free. I guess it was just how forced I felt. Everyone was totally fine with Harry, everyone ignored all the shitty evidence we had piling up against him and just expected me to forgive him. Maybe I should have heard him out, but I knew he would just spew excuses into my frazzling brain and I didn’t want to hear it. The elevator bulked again as I headed to the bottom floor, my arm held tight to my body under my breasts, my bottom lip trapped between my teeth, and I didn’t even realise I was shaking, it was so minuscule, so sharp. “Alright, babe.” Louis’ voice calmed me. “Can I come round to yours?” I mumbled. “Sure.” + + + Louis was cooking for me. Cooking might be pushing it, to be honest, but Louis had sought out and bought a meal deal for two, from Marks and Spencer no less, and he had put it into the oven very successfully. “You know how to woo a girl.” I giggled as he shut the oven door. “Years of practice.” He cracked his fingers. I couldn’t stop blushing as he wandered over to me. He was in his boxers and a Stone Roses t-shirt, which was fitting since he had Fools Gold playing in the background as he bobbed over in time with the tune, his hair once again a frantic mess on the top of his head. He leant in and kissed me tenderly, before going back over into the kitchen to do some washing up. I figured that was what he was like after sex, still lively and excited and needing to move around. I was more than happy to crash on his sofa, completely dead. “We going out tonight?” He spoke loudly as he glanced my way. “Zayn invited me.” “I don’t know.” I sighed. “I don’t want to spend any more time with Harry Styles than is absolutely necessary.” “Pippa, sorry to point out the obvious, but you live with him.” “Yep. And before you start, I’m also aware that he’s Zayn’s best mate and Zayn is also my best mate, but I feel like I can still try to avoid him as much as I can.” “Well, what about next year?” He asked. I furrowed my brows together to a tight line, because even the mere mention of ‘next year’ in the month of January was slightly baffling, but I had no idea why he was mentioning it. He laughed at my apparent daze. “What?” “You wanna get a house with Zayn, right?” “Yeah?” “Well, don’t you think Zayn will want to get a house with Harry, too?” How I hadn’t thought of that before was completely beyond me. Obviously that was what Zayn would want. How had I not figured that out? I turned away from Louis and stared blankly in front of myself, my stomach churning with the realisation. “Oh. Shit.” I flabbergasted. “Oh no. I thought I would be done with him completely in May. I’m going to have to live with him next year. What about the year after? Holy shit I’m never getting rid of him.” Louis laughed down to his soapy hands, shaking his head at me. I could tell he found my state completely endearing, but honestly, it felt like I was having a breakdown. ”For the foreseeable future, no, you’re not.” He chuckled. “So maybe it’s better to just, kind of deal with it. Don’t let him ruin your time at uni, y’know? He’s not the worst person in the world. That Josh guy that punched you is the true bellend of the situation. Trust me. Even when he’s two floors up I can feel his vibes reaching me. He’s a dick. I was happy to get in on that fight.” I pouted to myself, and I couldn’t help but take in that Louis, even with his deep purple bruise that mirrored my own, his lip that was still healing itself, was on Harry’s side. Taking everything into consideration, I couldn’t be on his side, but I definitely couldn’t ignore him forever. My mind debated with itself at a million miles a minute as Louis walked back over to my silent self, bending down to get right in front of my eyes, tucking his tiny lips into his mouth, eyes twinkling. I leaned in and kissed the tip of his nose, which untucked his lips and made him grin, eyelashes fluttering. He continued staring like he wanted an answer. “What?” I groaned through a smile. “We going out tonight or what? I promise to take up your attention all night so Harry can hardly bother you.” I nodded. He kissed me. I swooned. It was wonderful. I had to get over it. No matter how much the whole thing bothered me, Harry was a pretty solid part of my life. That thought made me want to rip my hair out. However, Louis was right, there was no point letting him ruin this time for me. I would keep a healthy distance, rather than an unhealthy mile between us, and the two of us would learn to live with one another. We’d have to. I figured as long as I didn’t get punched in the face again, things could be okay. Relatively so. We ate together as soon as the food was ready, and by the time we had eaten and Louis had dressed himself, it was almost time to go and drink round at our flat. So I shimmied back into my jacket and we were on our way. For once, I was actually kind of hoping for a run in with Harry in the shower-room, just so I could say I was willing to be civil with him, to not be at his throat, but to barely even talk to him. I don’t know how I thought that would ever work, but I was willing to try. Louis locked his fingers with mine as we went through the front door to his flats, me giggling about some joke he had made as he locked up behind himself, his eyes so crinkled they couldn’t possibly be called crow’s feet, more like ostrich feet. Our laughter dropped pretty quickly when we heard a voice behind us. “Tommo?” We both turned around and my eyes came into contact with the boy who made them blur only days before, the boy who had left a yellow banana shaped fucking stain just next to the eyes he had poisoned. I thought all my sour feelings about the evening had been put towards Harry, but seeing his smug little face as he dropped down the final step and wandered towards us, eyeing me up in the process, made me realise that the feelings of anger I had towards Harry about Sunday night were nothing compared to the ones I had for him. “The fuck do you want, Josh?” Louis scowled. “Are you the girl I hit?” He ignored Louis. “Yeah, she is, so if I were you I’d back the fuck off, now.” Louis raged, nearing him. “Are you like, one of Styles little minions or something?” He ridiculed. “I have my own fucking issues with you.” “And what are those?” “Other than the fact you’re a fucking prick, you hit a girl and you seem completely unfazed by it.” Louis’ face was going red, and I still hadn’t said a damn word. I hated that I was threatened by him, I hated that I wasn’t there standing up for myself and putting my foot in where it should have been. The worst part was, the one thing that kept repeating in my mind was the name fucking Pip-Squeak, and for once it felt just as fitting as Harry made it out to be. Josh turned his head my way. “Look, I am genuinely sorry for hitting you. That wasn’t my intention at all. I wanted to hit Louis.” “Fuck you.” I spat finally. “What do you want?” Louis spat alongside me. “Just wanted to ask you to tell Styles that if he wants a fight, I’m ready for him.” “Oh fuck off, Josh. You’re a cunt.” Louis scowled, taking my hand and beginning to drag me away. I tripped over myself as we left, hearing him chuckle to himself loudly as we escaped his presence, and honestly, the only thing I could think was that I wished I had twatted him one and called it a day. If Harry was going to start a fight with anyone, I was really glad it was him. + + + I hated it when Harry and Zayn didn’t hide their blatant drug taking. In the smoking area we had been in when the fight broke out, the two of them were bent over the nearest table doing a line of coke, and not a single person batted an eye. In a weird way, I half expected Harry to be making attempts to get in my good books. I’m not sure why, because I knew he didn’t give a flying fuck about my opinion of him, but I figured maybe he would at least take that behaviour somewhere else, somewhere I couldn’t see. He didn’t care though. Why would he? I checked around me for the fourth time to see if anyone cared about the illegal activity going on in front of them as Zayn and Harry moved back upright, wiping their noses with the backs of their hands perfectly in time with one another, but there was nothing. No reaction from anyone. Louis still had his hand in mine as he spoke to some lads near the door, laughing and joking away. Tally had been all over some guy all night, but every ten seconds she would check over her shoulder to see if Harry was looking. He never was. Mike was half asleep on one of the seats around the table that Harry and Zayn had just used. As soon as we walked in, the girl he had been sleeping with was at the bar with another boys lips on hers, and Mike, being the hopeless romantic he was, had scurried into the toilets, come out a couple of minutes later with eyes as red as tomatoes, and proceeded to get excessively drunk. I have to say, I wasn’t having the easiest time on my feet. “Wanna dance?” Zayn asked me. “Mmhm.” He moved in closer to say something in private, which he still had to shout thanks to the sheer volume of the place. “Will you talk to Harry?” “Please don’t make me, Zayn. It’s better like this. At least we’re not at each other’s throats.” He wiped his nose again and looked down to the floor, just nodding in response. I felt guilty, seeing him like that, so disheartened by my lack of efforts. He just shrugged and started walking inside, and that meant my gaze was automatically aligned with Harry’s who was waiting glumly behind him. “Pip-Squeak-” He tried. “I met Josh today.” I interrupted. “Oh! Yeah?” “He’s a prick.” I simply stated. “Yeah. He really is.” “But I don’t think it was worth the fight.” “I know you don’t. But I wasn’t just fighting him because he’s a prick. I have my reasons.” “Yeah I heard.” I derided. “You did?” He seemed baffled. “How?” “Louis told me.” “Louis knows?” I finally unlocked my hand from Louis’, feeling him gaze at the back of my head for a second before he went back to his conversation, leaving me and Harry to it. “I think most people who live in that building know.” I folded my arms over my chest. “I don’t think so, Pip-Squeak.” I bit my tongue, though all I really wanted to do was punch him for using that ridiculous name for the millionth time. But by that point, he wasn’t necessarily saying it to annoy me, that was just what he was used to, that was his name for me. I still hated it, but I knew he wasn’t saying it every single time just to get a rise out of me. It was habit. “Whatever.” I huffed. “No. Tell me what you think you know.” I could see how agitated he was getting, and I couldn’t help but mirror him, letting his state work me up. His hands were on his hips and he gazed down to me like I was a total idiot. He wiped his nose on his shoulders and stretched out the skin of his face, which probably didn’t help how much he annoyed me. “Didn’t he shag a girl, who you wanted to shag? That’s why you got mad?” His face dropped a little, staring at me, trying to take in what I just told him. It was hard to read his expression, whether what I had just told him was exactly how it was or if there was more to it. He didn’t let much on. “That’s what people think?” He asked. “Isn’t that what people know?” I bit back at him. Louis came and stood back by my side and kissed me cheek harshly, not realising we were slap bang in the middle of something, but why would he? Louis probably thought he was saving me from an upcoming brawl thanks to the fact it was me and Harry. Harry looked at him and then dropped his head and clear his throat, before letting out a big sigh and looking up to me. “Yeah. That was it.” Was all he said. He had wanted the opposite reaction from me, he had wanted me to stick by my guns and just go along with him admitting to that. But it had the complete opposite reaction. I knew he was lying. I just didn’t understand why. It was silent for a long time, long enough for Louis to grab at my arm again, breathing onto my neck as me and Harry stared one another out. “You wanna go back in?” Louis questioned. I finally turned away, looking to my side to see Louis with a small smile on his lips, and I could see him itching to ask about what had just been said between me and Harry. “Okay.” I whispered. Louis linked our fingers back together, and I felt comfortable again as he lead me inside. I had this urge to look back over my shoulder to see if Harry was looking, to see if he was following, but I didn’t, I kept my head forward and gripped Louis’ hand a little tighter. + + + I felt like I was going to throw up. The whole lecture my head had been spinning and my stomach churning. We had been studying John Cooper Clarke poems, which was brilliant and I wished I could have shown a little more enthusiasm since JCC was so fucking brilliant with words, but not much could bring me out of the self-inflicted misery. Ed was jotting down a million notes a minute in the copy of the book he had bought, since he had actually looked at the list of books required and purchased every single one, which was not something many of us had done. My eyes un-blurred themselves as I lifted my head from the desk slightly, squinting my vision and forcing back a burp. “I like your new tattoo. When did you get that done?” My voice was in tatters. The night before had ended with my head, once again, in the toilet, Louis completely passed out in my bed as I spent at least two hours throwing up. After that, I fell asleep in the middle of my bedroom floor, just in my knickers. Full of class, as always. “I did it myself.” He whispered back to me, continuing to jot away. “Fuck off. Seriously?” I gawped. I grabbed his wrist, to which he huffed since I had stopped his incessant writing, glaring at me with tired eyes. “Yup.” “That’s amazing, Ed!” It was on the inside of his left wrist, a magpie, including the white and blue flick on the feathers. It looked like a professional had done it, definitely. The shading was stunning, the shape and pattern and everything about it was so beautifully done. I glanced up to the number 26 at the top of the same arm, wondering how that could have possibly be done by the same person less than two months apart. “Thanks.” He looked confidently down to it. “I’m pretty chuffed with it.” “I fucking hate you.” I suddenly choked. “What? Where did that come from?” “You could have done about twenty different degrees. English, Music, Art. Doesn’t fucking matter to you, does it? Stupid, talented bastard.” He laughed as he snatched his wrist back away from me, shaking his head, clearly accepting my weird form of compliment. By the end of the lecture, I could have been asleep, I’m not actually sure. There’s a big possibility I was asleep, it was more than likely, but who really knows. I groaned inwardly as I rose to my feet, grateful to have been down at the front this lecture because the thought of stairs was enough to make me hurl. Ed wrapped his arm around me for the short walk before we parted, helping me stay on my feet, not just because of the ice left on the floor from the snow which had melted away, but because that was just how delicate I was. He spoke more about his tattoo as we wandered towards our homes, and I just nodded along, staring at the beautiful work on his arm, and all too soon, it was time for us to part. “You be careful alright? No falling, no vomiting. Do your best, Pip.” “I’ll try.” “Have a good weekend.” “Meh.” My wrist flapped back and forth as an attempt at waving goodbye, shuffling down the correct path, ready to crawl into bed and hopefully not see the light of day until Sunday. The whole idea of Friday and Saturday was a no go for me. I wanted to skip straight from Thursday to Sunday, when everything would be better. As I wandered round the corner, so close I could almost feel the warmth of my bed, Harry came from the other direction, having spotted me much earlier than I spotted him. I cursed under my breath, before giving him a weak smile and opening the door to our building, waiting for him to step through first. “Oh. Cheers.” He mumbled. I couldn’t decide which was worse; having him wind me up and purposefully piss me off, or how we were with each other then. The not talking, the awkward interactions, the way we could barely look at each other. I actually figured it was better when we were winding each other up, at least there were occasions where I got a slight bit of pleasure from it. When I saw him press the button to the elevator, I debated going up the stairs, just to save us both, but one glance at the stairs and my stomach flipped. I shuffled in next to him, both of us standing as far apart as we could as Harry pressed the button, and the doors slowly shut. I puffed air into my cheeks and kept it there as we began moving upwards, bulking away as it usually did, clanking as we went. Then there was an almighty clunk, my stomach jolted up to my damn chest, and the whole thing came to a crashing standstill. Harry’s face dropped before I could even take in what was happening, pressing at the button that was supposed to open the door as I gripped my stomach, watching Harry press it over and over with no reaction whatsoever. “You have to be joking.” I gasped. After a few more whacks at the door button, Harry caved, and pressed the bright red one, signalling to someone, somewhere, that we were in trouble, even though we received no proof that anyone knew we were there. My phone was close to dying thanks to the fact I hadn’t plugged it in the night before, since I fell asleep on the floor. But before it died, I had rung Zayn and asked him to make sure someone came to help us. Honestly, I’m not sure he ever did anything other than just bend over laughing at the thought of me and Harry trapped in that stupid lift together.It was my idea of hell. An hour or so must have passed without a single word. By that point, we were both down on the floor, my head cradled in the corner of the box, my legs sprawled ahead of me, and Harry with his back pressed against the wall on my right, knees pointing towards the ceiling, being used as support for his arms that dangled out in front of him. It felt like I was in a movie. I just couldn’t conjure up something more typical than being stuck in a damn lift with someone I hated. Or maybe it was more like the beginning of a really bad joke. Someone, somewhere, was in control of my life, and making a complete mockery of me. Out of nowhere, Harry twisted his back and raised a hand to press at the door for the buttons again, but to no one’s surprise, nothing happened. He ran his hand through his hair before returning to his original position. I wondered if he had seen me staring at him and was choosing to ignore it, or if he really was just being dense. “Why did you lie last night?” I finally asked. It was like finally hearing a voice caught him off guard. He rapidly blinked a few times, stunned by the new noises before he gulped and replied. “What?” “What happened with Josh?” I asked. “Thought you’d made your mind up on that?” He huffed. “I know it’s just... You so clearly lied. It’s confused me.” He propped his head back against the wall, still looking at me with a pretty intense gaze, his eyes low and tired, chest heaving. “I didn’t want to say what happened in front of Louis.” He confirmed. “I haven’t actually told anyone what happened. I just... feel like you deserve an explanation. I dunno.” “Okay.” I mumbled. He ran a hand over his eyes and cracked his neck. I could tell how uncomfortable he was, and suddenly I was nervous. I had no idea what to expect from him, what the story was going to be. I could almost see the edge he was on as I folded my legs, leaning his way slightly, my throat tight. “I was... Shit. Okay… Everyone in my flat had gone on a night out, but I’d stayed in because like, I didn’t really get on with any of them. But I heard them all get back, Josh was as rowdy and loud as he always is, so they woke me up. He’s a dick.” “That’s why you had the fight?” He burst out laughing, because I had asked that question in all seriousness, even though the second it slipped out of my mouth I knew how stupid it was to ask that. I closed my eyes and chuckled through a deep breath, laughing at myself. Our chuckles slowly faded out together, and Harry was finally free to continue. “No, believe it or not.” He grinned, before he continued. “It was like an hour after they got back, and everything had gone quiet so I was like, trying to get to sleep. And, there was some banging coming on my wall. I tried to ignore it but then... I heard screaming. I heard the girl in the room next to mine just screaming and crying. I heard her yell for help and like... I was so fucking scared, but… I had to go. I honestly thought I was going to walk into her room and see her getting fucking murdered. But still, I opened her door and... Josh was there, all over her, trying to lift her dress up higher and she was like... Fuck. Sh-she was trying to push him off her, but there was no stopping him. I flipped, just seeing that. I completely flipped. I fucking dragged him off her, and just, went mad. I broke his nose, I remember one of his teeth coming out and dropping on the floor. Thankfully, Lily, the girl, dragged me off him after a while, or else… I dunno. But... yeah. I guess that’s it.” I couldn’t even find the words. I dropped my head, because I couldn’t even look at him. I think that was the first time my opinion of him changed, the first time I thought, he’s not all bad. I pressed my fingers against the bruise on my temple, and suddenly I kind of wished it was worse. I wished I had gotten in on that fight and punched him myself. I understood it, that sudden anger Harry felt as soon as he spotted Josh. It made sense to me. “Shit.” I heaved after some time. “So he comes up to me a few weeks later with his new teeth in like, I’m gunna take you to court you piece of shit. I told him good luck with that, and that me and Lily would see him there, with rape charges in hand. So he let it be. Still managed to get me kicked out but, I didn’t want to live with him anyway. Lily lives at home now, drives here instead.” Of course all anyone knew were the rumours. There was no way Harry or Lily would talk about that night openly, and neither would Josh. Those rumours must have stemmed from Josh, his way of trying to look like the good guy. But in a way, I felt like Harry was happy with that, that was why he had lied in front of Louis the night before. Harry would rather he came out in a bad light than have what happened to Lily revealed when she clearly didn’t want that. Suddenly, Harry Styles, the boy who I hated so fiercely, was on a pretty high pedestal I had never imagined I would put him on. “Did...” I mumbled over myself, wondering how to word my question. “Shit. Did he actually... y’know? Did he actually do it? Or did you stop him just before?” “I don’t actually know. She doesn’t talk about it. I think he just got close and… I managed to stop it before he… But he would have. So... I dunno. Shit. It feels good to talk about that… Get it off my chest.” “I can imagine.” I sighed. “Is she okay?” “Yeah, she’s good. I speak to her a lot now, she’s cool. And she’s alright. I think she was shook up for a while, understandably, but she’s doing loads better.” I felt like I had to concentrate on my breathing. I guess I was just trying to process all the information he had given me, trying to process the new light I was seeing Harry in. I felt like I owed him an apology. “I’m sorry I got so mad about the fight.” “Why?” “Because-” “Pip-Squeak, you had every right to be mad about the fact you got punched in the face. Even now you know the reason behind it. I didn’t want anyone else to get involved. Especially not you.” I decided not to ask about the ‘especially not you’ part, because I didn’t want to get annoyed about his comments of me ‘being a girl’ so I just nodded. “Okay.” I whispered. “Are we okay?” He suddenly asked, the pitch of his voice raising. “Huh?” “I know we’re not mates or anything, but, we have to be better than this, right? It’s so fucking awkward. I have a hard enough time with Tally. I’d prefer it if we went back to slyly making digs at each other.” “We were never very sly.” I hushed. “No.” He grinned down to the floor. “I guess we weren’t.” “But... yeah. We were doing pretty well on Sunday before the fight.” “We were.” He agreed. “We can do that, we can... tolerate each other.” “Yeah, we can.” He smiled kindly to me, which I couldn’t help but return, kind of wishing his smile had been a little bigger so I could see that dimple I hadn’t seen since Sunday night, but it didn’t quite reach that stage. Then, we fell back into the silence we had become accustom to at the beginning of this ordeal. Two more hours passed in there without us saying a single thing to one another.

#I'm working on editing ten #and if it's ready I'll share tomorrow #because I'm a top gal #WHO LOVES FEEDBACK #1dff #Harry Styles #BB9

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