#a girl named joe

[plistommy]

[non-un-topo]

hot guard summer

[joesbandmerch]

Pretty Girls Make Graves - Headphones shirt

though it would be fair to assume this is a the smiths shirt knowing that joe used to be a big morrissey fan, this design actually originates from seattle-based post-hardcore band pretty girls make graves (who are, of course, named after the smiths' song of the same name)

genre: post-hardcore

listen on spotify, apple music, and support the band on bandcamp

buy it here

[mothmanssweetsucculentass]

Ellen Joe Headcanons

I can’t help it I love this shark girl

Like I stated in my previous ZZZ headcanon post, Ellen meets a lot of shark character stereotypes, including having a love for seafood, needing to be constantly fidgeting/moving, and going apeshit around blood or enemies who struggle

After that one incident where she almost attacked Corin after the poor girl cut her hand on her own sawblade by accident, Lycaon has had to keep an eye on her and make sure during missions from clients that she doesn’t jeopardize the objective due to her uncontrollable thiren instincts

She doesn’t actually care for the taste of blood, but whenever it’s spilled, her instincts go into overdrive and she has to sink her teeth into whatever’s bleeding

She likes fighting and doing combat missions for Victoria Housekeeping Co because of how often she gets to go bonkers on things that put up a fight

Too much movement in one area really stresses her out though. It overloads her sense of smell and makes her feel dizzy and overwhelmed

Obviously has an incredible sense of smell. How else would she be able to tell if you’re hiding candy from her?

I’m making it canon she owns at least 4 Blahaj

Like??? In official media about her they show that she has shark themed items like the blanket from that one video, of course she’s gonna have shark plushies

Despite being a very perceptive person she’s oblivious to the fact Corin has a crush on her

Corin thinks Ellen is playing 4D chess with her emotions but nope Ellen genuinely has no clue Corin has mental breakdowns over how hard she’s crushing on Ellen

Ellen is nonchalant around everyone but usually talks to Corin about stuff in her personal life that’s bothering her, like school stuff or friend drama

Ellen is the exact opposite around Rina. Ellen’s smart enough to know how manipulative and nosy Rina can be, and how any information can be used against her, so she’s pretty curt and tight lipped around the creepy esper lady

Ellen doesn’t really see Lycaon as anything but her superior, but it doesn’t mean she doesn’t respect him. Usually it’s in her own way, though. Like, Ellen probably doesn’t take orders from him super well, but she’d be damned if she let anyone in Victoria Housekeeping go down first in battle. What she lacks in obedience she makes up for in loyalty tenfold

He’s also the one that provided her her massive shears, outfitted with the same ice technology his boots run on

Before being gifted the shears, Ellen’s weapon of choice was a pretty standard sword

Besides the massive tail and sharp teeth, Ellen also has gills running along her ribs just below her breasts

She’s like, the only one who knows about it though cause no one has seen her shirtless before.

When she’s at the beach or pool with friends she wears one piece suits

She can breathe underwater, but chooses not to most of the time because it’s either chlorinated (stings), or too polluted/muddy (makes her cough a lot)

Is good at holding her breath regardless

Besides the tattoos on her tail, she has a tattoo of a dorsal fin on her back, and a small tattoo of ocean waves with a little shark fin poking out on her right ankle

Has a very high pain tolerance

Has a very low bullshit tolerance

Once when running a solo escort mission through a hollow, her shears were knocked out of her hands and fell down a chasm. Her backup weapon? Her actual goddamn teeth

Like she’s a shark she’s gonna bite and she bites HARD

Has an impressive bite force, can chew through a ton of soft metals and most fabrics

She’s tried chewlery before but unfortunately no matter what kind she buys she always shreds it within a week

LOVES jawbreakers and other insanely hard candy

The fastest way to win her trust is to gift her candy, especially hard candies, as evident in the Victoria Housekeeping story quest

While she heavily prefers hard candies she also loves gummies. Yeah especially the shark ones

Her tail is pure thick muscle btw. Being smacked with that thing feels like being whacked by one of those punching bags that’s heavily weighted

She’s not always cognizant of where or how she’s moving it too, so it’s better to steer clear from walking behind her

That thing is the entire length of Xiao Genshin and also half of her entire body weight, no wonder the girl keeps having energy crashes, she’s carrying that thing around

The bite mark on her tail is unfortunately self inflicted. Years ago she got stuck in a hollow for over a week and grew desperate for food. Soon after having to do that to herself, she was rescued

Used to have chewing on her nails and cheek as a nervous stim but now has better outlets for fidgets and chew stims

Sure, chewlery didn’t work, but no one’s stopped her from making her own out of scrap metal. It gets the job done surprisingly well. She’s even gotten somewhat good at biting metal into fun shapes

Corin made a joke about it once about how Ellen could totally sell the bitten shapes and Ellen genuinely offered to make her one of her bear

Corin stores all her favorite trinkets in a box under her bed. So far the only things in there are the button eyes from her oldest stuffed animal project, and the bent, bite mark ridden metal piece shaped like a teddy bear

Ellen isn’t an impatient person, but she heavily values her free time, which is why if you idle in the game for too long she gets pissed

She totally suffers from a thing called Sharkolepsy and totally doesn’t use it as an excuse to get out of work or school sometimes

[darling-heffron]

Sorry all my wifi had been acting up and then I got busy doing other things, then poof, Saturday came and went! So sorry this is late but I hope the chapter makes up for it. Also I got my nails done and didn't think of the implications to my typing lmao! ✨

Taglist: @mellow-human , @malarkgirlypop , @next-autopsy

Chapter Seven: And then there were Two

Sam’s POV: 

Walking was the easy part of Sam’s journey, the hard part was avoiding everyone else. Especially the humans, she didn’t need to meet anymore people like the family she had only buried days ago. 

There could be no guilt clouding her thoughts during these times, she needed to be focussed not sentimental. The last thing she needed was a friend. 

Her army comrades often called Sam the lone wolf of the pack, often adjacent from the other troops who were bonding and making lasting friendships. Sam enjoyed her solitude and didn’t have the patience for stupid people, she had other activities that filled her boredom. 

Fighting mainly, as it was a good way to release her stress. She often found that after having a rough day, letting out her pent up emotions on the punching bag felt good. Sam never felt the need to vent to her “friends”, her fists did all the talking she needed.  

If she didn’t feel like fighting, books had the same effect as talking to people. Except she didn’t have to say anything back to them. She didn’t enjoy fictional novels about romance and friendship and adventure. The blonde preferred the cold hard facts of history, she would learn from everyone else's mistakes and not make them herself. 

Unfortunately sometimes Sam would have to deal with people during her job. On her tours in Afghanistan she was paired with the most annoying girl in the squad. 

A lucky dip that was not so lucky. 

Her partner drove her mad almost every single day, trying to befriend the tall woman. Sam was not having it, she didn’t need nor want a friend. The soldier was a petite brunette that was only a couple of years younger, but for some reason she was always so happy. Always a pep to her step and a song in her heart, the girl was joyful on crack. 

Even in her demise she still somehow had a smile on her face and was optimistic about her doomed fate. 

The girl, Abby, had died only days before they were set to depart back home. She had offered to do the final sweep of the night for Sam, which she had been scheduled to complete. On her route back she had misstepped, accidentally setting off an IED that in turn took her life not hours later. 

Lying on the street with her limbs scattered about, she bled out slowly and painfully. But still the young girl managed to smile and laugh, making a joke. Abby had laid in Sam’s lap as she lost her blood and quickly turned cold. The last thing she had said was, “I’m glad it was me and not you.” 

Abby had died later that night in hospital from her wounds. Her death still haunted the angry blonde. 

Her depressing thoughts were interrupted by boisterous noise. Sam looked up with disgust etched into her face. These were the stupid fuckers she was talking about. 

Even from a distance she could see their unkempt oily hair and dirty clothes. They smiled at each other while they joked, some misogynistic comment falling from the shorter ones mouth as the other two chortled together. 

“Ugh, gross.” She muttered out loud. Sam didn’t enjoy people, but men were her least favourite. It may have been her army upbringing but all the men she knew were cunts, especially her father who seemed to be the worst one of all. 

The only reason there were other people here was because she had made it to Albany. Walking all day for two days she had made good time from Pittsfield. But even though the city offered food and other resources, it attracted everything else along with it. Just like the group of men who stood only 50 feet away, laughing amongst themselves. 

Somehow luck didn’t seem to be in favour of the young woman; she accidentally kicked an empty can across the street as she tried to evade the group. 

“Fuck me.” Sam cursed under her breath. She watched the men swivel their heads around to investigate the noise. Sam ducked quickly trying to hide behind the abandoned car she was standing near but she knew she had been spotted. 

“Hey pretty lady!” One of the men cooed. Sam rolled her eyes so hard she was concerned they were going to get stuck in the back of her head. 

“We see you blondie, come out!” The other greasy man joined in. 

Sam silently screamed in her head, she was not in the mood for people. Drawing in a deep breath she stood. She cracked her neck as she walked out from behind the vehicle. 

The men started to walk briskly towards her. Her fingers flexed at her side, itching to latch around the weapon on her hip. But she stood still, a relaxed posture and bitchy face, well her normal face but still, she looked menacing. 

“Quite a scowl you got blondie.” The tallest man of the group smirked at her. 

Her face didn’t change even with the comment. Sam didn’t speak, she didn’t want to seem like she was trying to make excuses. Plus men dug themselves into deeper holes in silence than in conversation. She would bait them. 

“Not much of a talker.” The short thinning haired man stepped closer, even though he was still a good foot away she could smell him from here. 

“Yeah but she is a looker, hey Jeremy.” The snivelly looking man egged on the tall one, Jeremy, elbowing him in the side.  

“You sure are pretty.” Jeremy licked his lips. Sam’s disgust was audible at the action. 

The young woman flicked her eyes around the group. They didn’t seem to be all that well equipped, noting the baseball bat the short chubby man held, and the grimey machete on the rodent looking man’s belt. Jeremy seemed to be the only one with a gun, tucked into the front of his waistband. Sam scoffed that was only good for one thing, getting his dick shot off.   

“I think she’s scared of us.” Weasel man continued. He looked like the fucking jester of the group, though he didn’t seem all that funny. 

“You don’t have to be afraid, we’re really nice.” The chubby man had the audacity to reach out to try and touch Sam’s arm. 

Her reflexes were faster. Sam’s hand shot out from her side and gripped the man’s limb like a vice. 

That set the group on edge, the other two sprung back, hands clasping around their own weapons. 

“I’m not afraid of you horrible fuck-eyed wank cloths.” Sam growled, squeezing the man's hand even harder. He let out a whimper of pain and tried to wiggle free, but Sam’s hold didn’t budge. 

“Leave me the fuck alone, before I rip of every single one of your ballsacks off and feed it to the rabid motherfuckers while you watch.” The man guffawed at her statement, her words were clearly not enough for the men, she would have to show them. 

“Oh you need proof. Well baldly, how many fingers you want broken?” Sam sneered at the man, his face bright red with rage and pain. 

“Now you’re quiet?” Sam wrenched the thinned haired man’s finger backwards extending them towards his back. “That means I get to choose.” She whispered before completely twisting the chubby man’s hand completely backwards until there was a satisfying crunch. 

Baldy howled in pain as he clutched at his now broken wrist. It hung limply from the joint, the men who had watched the whole interaction, now began to rile up. 

“What the fuck is your problem blondie?” Jesterville Jones piped up, his buck teeth exposed as he hopped around like the rabbit he was.     

“I chose wrist.” Sam shrugged, seemed like he wasn’t paying attention, or was an idiot. Most likely an idiot. 

“We didn’t do anything to you.” Jeremy whined as if his mum had just taken away his PS5 privileges. 

“You approached me, that was your first mistake. Then you called me blondie, you half chewed pencil looking fuck. And this literal easy bake oven tried to touch me. So if I counted correctly, which he can’t.” Sam pointed to weasel face. “That would make three things you did to me.” 

“Now do you all want limp wrists, you slimy turd canoes?” Sam threatened the gaggle of fucking morons. “Or would you like to leave with the little dignity you have still intact?” 

As soon as she finished her sentence the men fled. Tails between their legs like the small chihuahuas they were.  

Mars POV: 

Getting to Albany was simple. Marleen packed up and left as the sun was rising, unwilling to be near that house any longer. She followed along the highway, using road signs as her guide. 

The houses began getting closer together until she found herself at the city's edge. The closer she got the more her nerves started to scramble. Mars spotted several small groups and lone rabids and did everything she could to avoid them, turning a three hour journey into five. 

Marleen had never been to Albany before, but she could imagine what it was like; the roads bustling with vehicles, people everywhere, everything teaming with life. 

And now, it was barren. Abandoned. 

If she had to guess she would say there were live humans in this vast city somewhere but nowhere that she could see. 

That could be a good thing though. At least that’s what Denver always said. And just like that she was tearing up once again- how many tears did she have left? Surely her eyes would run dry at some point? 

Shaking her head, Mars headed into the eerie ghost town. 

She didn’t get very far before noticing undead stumbling in her direction. Shit. There were too many for her to stay and fight, she had no choice but to flee. They hadn’t seen her yet, giving her the advantage of stealth. 

As quietly as she could, Mars turned and treaded down a side street, off the main road and out of the zombies' sight. 

This repeated a few times; Marleen would come across a number of rabids and sneak away unseen onto a new path, slowly making her way through the maze of a city. 

Her luck was seemingly up. Avoiding certain death had never been easier for the young blonde.  

Until it wasn’t.

Mars rounded a corner, making her way down a narrow road- a glorified alleyway. And she did so without checking to see if the way was clear, her first mistake. 

Her second mistake was immediately dropping her only weapon the instant she bumped into something. 

Marleen had walked straight into a solid body and squealed. It took her a moment to realise that whatever she had walked into could be a human; like her or an undead and she had yet to find out which.

Her yelp was mixed with a low voice, arms wrapped around her body and held her close, it felt all too familiar. Mars cried out and struggled against the unknown person until she heard a distinct voice- the undead can't speak.  

Her head flicked upwards, revealing her captor as a living. In fact, there were three living men standing in front of her. 

All caution was thrown to the wind, she hadn’t seen real people since she and Denver had been separated two nights prior, and she found she was missing the social interaction. Being able to talk to someone who was capable of talking back, who didn’t have blood covering every inch of them- that was priceless to Mars. 

“Hey, shhh, It's okay.” The man holding on to her spoke, his grasp on her had stabilised the both of them, keeping the pair upright. Now that they were in no danger of falling, he released his grip on her and held up his hands in mock surrender.

From where she stood, she had a second to give them a once over and take in their appearances. They looked like they’d been through hell. Dirty and greasy and covered in filth. 

Something that stuck out to her was the shortest one favoured his left hand, like it was hurt. She would bring that up at some point, make sure chubby hadn't been bitten by a rabid.

She had two voices telling her two very different things right now and wasn’t sure what to do. 

One said: Absolutely do not trust these guys, turn and leave right now, you don’t know these strangers.

While the other said: Maybe they could help you? It’s tough being out here all alone, having friends is never a bad thing. Talk to them, ask if they can help you get to Illinois. 

“Uh-Hello?” Was the greeting she settled on, this seemed to please them as all three grinned at her. It should have been a good sign, the smiles; but for some reason it unnerved her. 

“Hello beautiful.” The tallest man, her ‘saviour’ spoke out, “you out here all alone?” Mars nodded slowly, still not totally convinced she could trust these guys. 

“Well what would a pretty girl like you be doing out here all by herself?” One of the others spoke up, he had buck teeth that resembled a mouse or a rat. All three men still smiled at her waiting for her answer. 

“I-I’m trying to get to Illinois.”

“Illinois, eh?” The rat man echoed the words as he stepped closer to her, “We can help ya get to Illinois.” 

“You can?” Mars felt a smile creep onto her face. She held hope that these men would be kind and helpful, regardless of their appearance. Don't judge a book by its cover and all that.

“Sure.” The tallest, who seemed to be their leader, smirked. 

“Yeah, we can help you.” Rat-man laughed as he nudged his friend's arm with his elbow, like they were sharing a joke- one that Mars was not privy to. 

It was then that Mars noticed the machete in the rat's grip, that paired with her dropped knife gave her chills- goosebumps rippled over her body. 

“You just have to do a little something for us first….” His voice gave Mars the heebie jeebies and she began to rethink her openness to the trio- maybe she should have been more skeptical of the strangers. 

“Scratch our backs, we scratch yours, blondie.” Rat-man reached out his hand and stroked Marleen’s cheek, her body instinctively flinched back, trying to get out of his reach.

“Really?” A louder voice sounded from behind the group of men. The trio seemed to recognise the person who had spoken, stilling in their actions and slowly turning. 

Between the gap of the men, Mars could see a tall, lean woman with a menacing stance. Her glare made the men shiver and Marleen found that she too was intimidated by this lady. 

Sam’s POV: 

Sam had tried her best to avoid the group after they had retreated. She continued on her search for food and water, but unfortunately before rounding a corner she had heard the slimy idiots talking amongst themselves. 

However what piqued her interest was a soft feminine voice that spoke back. Sam had stepped into the alley just as weasel face had said, “Scratch our backs, we scratch yours, blondie.” 

That pissed off the tall woman. For one, they had gone from one woman to the next, and secondly they didn’t even have the creativity to think of any better lines. 

“Wow! I thought you guys were fucking stupid, but this just really proves my point!” Sam gave her best cheerful sarcastic tone. 

“You seriously can’t think of any better material than Blondie?” She peered over their shoulders, finding a young petite woman backed into a corner by the group. The woman’s face said it all, please help me.  

A sigh left Sam’s lips, she was not in the mood for playing hero, but also the young girl, not even woman, looked so helpless it felt like a crime to leave. 

She cast her glare towards michelin man, who cowered under her hateful stare. He didn’t give her a second glance before darting off and ditching his so-called friends. 

“Dylan what the fuck dude!” Jeremy called out after fatso. Damn she had never seen someone of that girth run so fast. 

“Roly-poly has the right idea. Why don’t the rest of you scram and leave Bambi alone.” Sam looked over to the young lady, aptly named for her big doe eyes and deer in the headlights stare. 

“We aren’t scared of you, blondie.” Jeremy snarled. 

“Which one are you talking to, cause remember we are both ‘Blondie’ according to you.” Sam pointed out that the one name that had given each of the girls now didn’t work in the situation. 

“I’m talking to you-” He paused for a moment, pointing in her direction. “Angry blondie.” 

“Look at you using adjectives. Kind of embarrassing it took you that long to think of one, and angry at that.” Sam grimaced at the fucking idiot sandwich stood before her. 

“Can we be done now, I’m so fucking bored of this conversation?” Sam glanced down at her watch, she literally had better things to be doing than standing here wasting her breath on these white-trash shart hounds. 

“Well- uh- you.” The weasel man stuttered over his words. 

“You-uh-uh-um.” Sam mocked them. “Spit it out, speech impediment.”

“Right, that's it!” Inflatable balloon man bellowed in the least intimidating voice he could manage. In a quick motion he whipped out his gun from the front of his pants. Sam shied away worried he was going to whip out something else at the same time. 

“I don’t need to see all that.” Sam gestured to the man’s crotch. The young woman during the chaos, had bent down and grabbed the knife that had laid on the floor just in front of her. Sam watched her stand again, clutching the weapon to her chest. 

Jeremy surged forward with his gun, he flailed it around, it seemed as if he was unsure if he wanted to shoot Sam or hit her with it. It didn’t matter, the tall woman had disarmed him in seconds. 

Now she had the man by his neck and his gun in her grasp. Jeremy was pinned to her chest as he stared out at his mate who looked shocked but was still fixed in his position, not helping his buddy. 

Sam pressed the barrel of the man’s gun to his temple. Everyone froze, collectively holding their breaths. Weasel man’s face had drained of blood and he looked sickly pale. Bambi continued to wear her brown doe eyed stare, her mouth hanging slightly agape, Sam was unsure if this was due to shock or awe. 

“Alright lady!” Rodent man held out his hands showing his surrender. “We’ll leave you alone, just let us go!” The man pleaded. 

“Yeah just let us leave.” Jeremy sobbed like a young child who had lost their mummy in the supermarket. 

Sam brought the butt of the gun down hard into the side of Jeremy’s head, the man yelped out in pain as she pushed him away from her and he stumbled to the floor. Rodent man collected his friend from the floor, and urged him to leave. 

“My gun.” Jeremy held out his hand for his weapon. 

“It’s mine now. Fuck off.” Sam dismissed the command. She watched in amusement as the pair fled together, moving so fast they were falling over each other in panic. 

Turning on her heel she walked the way she had come from back out onto the street. 

Mars POV:

“Wait!” Marleen called out to her retreating saviour, “where are you going?” Her feet began following the mysterious woman- who completely ignored her. Her pace quickened, only slowing when she came side by side with the fiery lady. 

“Hey! I asked where you’re going.” Her statement came out whiny and she reached for the other woman's forearm. The moment her fingertips touched their target, the stranger sprung into action. She halted her steps and raised a closed fist so quickly that Mars barely had time to register what was happening.

“Woah-wait wait wait- it’s me! It’s me!” The shorter woman released her grip and raised her hands to cover her face, dropping her knife yet again. 

It clattered to the floor as both women watched.

“Who?”

“Me, it’s me?” Mars peered up at the taller blonde, her voice squeaked out from her defensive position, “From just now… you know, with those guys- Bambi! I’m Bambi…remember?” 

Recognition crosses over her face, “Oh. Right.” The woman lowered her fist, “You dropped your knife.” Her parting words as she turned swiftly and continued in the same direction. 

Mars huffed, bending over to pick up the weapon and then straightening to run after the other blonde. 

“You didn't answer my question.” Her words were spoken in between breaths, “Where are we going?” 

That seemed to gain the attention of her ruthless heroine, making her freeze in place once more. 

“We?” Her eyebrows raised in surprise, “WE aren’t going anywhere.” She gestured between the two of them with her finger. 

“But,” Marleen’s face scrunched in confusion, her bottom lip stuck out in a pout, “You just saved me?” 

“And?” 

Mars had no reply. It seemed logical to her that they buddy up, everyone needs friends and Mars could surely use someone as capable as her. 

The lean girl, hearing no reply from the smaller party continued on her journey. Once again, leaving ‘Bambi’ behind. 

And just like before, Mars chased after her, this time calling out “Can’t I come with you? I’ll be so quiet you won’t even know I’m there!” 

“No, I don’t pick up stragglers.” The woman’s husky voice sounded as she kept walking away from the young girl. 

“So why did you save me? Why not just let me die?” Marleen argued, genuinely curious. 

“I-”

“So you clearly have a conscience, or else you would’ve watched me be attacked by those men.” She spoke her thoughts aloud as they popped into her head, no filter and not even waiting to hear her responses. 

“Look-”

“Or you just didn’t want to watch it, so now you’re just leaving me to die when you don’t have to see.” 

“Jesus-”

“Cause leaving me now is like second hand murder. You know I’m not going to get very far by myself, but you’re still leaving.”

“Alright, alright! Fine! Christ, you made your point, I got it!” The lady finally got her words in before the young girl interrupted her once again. The taller of the two swung around to gesture for the persistent girl to cease her incessant yapping, “I will walk you to the next town over and then as soon, and I mean as soon as I find another group or person to take you, you are not my problem anymore. Understand?”

Mars let a cheesy smile break onto her face as she literally jumped for joy. “Deal!” Extending her pinky finger out to seal the promise the taller woman had just made. 

“I’m not making a pinky promise.” The lady shook her head, crossing her arms over her chest. 

Still Mars held out her hand, smiling widely, tipping her head to encourage the standoffish girl to accept her outstretched pinky. 

“No! I’m not.” The girl doubled down. But Mars ever so vigorously stood her ground, until the other blonde sighed and finally did as Marleen had asked. She reached out her hand quickly interlinking her pinky finger with the younger girl. The tall blonde snatched her hand away after sealing their deal. 

“Oh my God, are you normally this fucking infuriating?” 

“It depends who you ask.” Said with a shrug of her shoulders and a smirk on her face. “I’m Marleen, by the way.” 

“I didn’t ask.”

“You can call me Mars though.” Her cheery voice continued, “Sooo- what’s your name?” She was met with silence. “Okay, fine. Stay mysterious. I’ll just call yooou- Jessica?”

“No.” Her saviour deadpanned. 

“Okay, not Jessica…. Georgia?” Hope seeped into her words as she gently elbowed her taller companion in an attempt to gain her favour. 

“Please stop.” 

“You could just tell me your name? I’d stop if I knew what to call you- maybe Lauren?” 

Realising she wouldn’t shut her mouth until she got what she wanted, the calmer of the pair offered a solution, “If I tell you my name, will you be quiet?” 

“Yes.” Her reply was instantaneous and full of excitement. 

“It’s Sam.” She sighed out exasperatedly. 

“Sam!” Mars grinned, barely one second of silence passed before she was speaking once again, “Sam Sam Sam… is that short for Samantha?” 

“Shut. Up!” 

AHHHHHHHHHH our girls finally met oml oml, so excited for this duo you have no idea! But ah, Sam doesn't seem all the keen on it ahaha sorry girl you got lumped with a whole ball of sunshine. Let me know if you also love these girlies together as much as I do.

Esra ✨

[19871997]

nonsense mattyjo Because one day i will write something terribly romcomish regarding them but today is the day for this

Jo knows he’s rambling. Knows Matty can’t possibly give a shit about the prequels. But he’s still talking, and Matty’s still listening. He’s pretty drunk though, flushed and swaying with it. Jo could feel bad about effectively taking advantage like this, but the more he talks, the more Matty leans in, and Jo feels awfully addicted to the way Matty's eyes blink at him.

“And the CGI is pretty goofy, right, even for the early 2000s, but I think it adds to the ch–”

“You’re really pretty, Joey, you know that?”

“What?” Jo says through a laugh, to give Matty his chance to clarify what the hell he’s talking about.

“Like you have your eyes and your hair and,” he reaches out clumsily, “your sticky-out ears, and your smile, Joey, holy shit bro.”

“Matty–”

“Joey–”

“Matty, bud, I think it’s time we get you home, yeah?”

“No,” Matty pouts, and Jo desperately wants to kiss his bottom lip, red and slick, but they’re in a bar and Mitch is close enough that he certainly heard all of that and is certainly pretending that he didn’t, rambling rapid-fire to Auston about the PK, or something, and Matty probably didn’t even mean it in a gay way, because he’s not. Gay, that is. 

“Yeah, bud, we should, I’ll close the tab and get an Uber to JT’s place, okay?”

Matty pouts some more, mumbles something about surviving two years of college well and good, but goes easily with Jo when he hauls him out the booth.

“Woller, I’ve got the tab, don’t worry, just get him home safe,” Auston calls to him, breaking out of whichever spell Mitch had him under for just a second.

“Aye aye, Cap,” Matty answers for him, and earns an eye-roll from the table for it.

“Yeah, yeah, funny guy,” Jo mutters under his breath to him as they leave. Matty’s fucking heavy, but he mostly holds himself up until they’re outside, and then lets himself be propped up against the brick when they’re outside, leans on Jo a bit. The crisp air might do something to sober him up, the huddle of smokers a couple feet away from them might not.

“You think I’m funny?” Matty asks, while Jo’s trying to get an Uber to accept his request.

He’s a little distracted, still tipsy, when he answers, a little too honest, “‘Course I do, bud, you know you always make me laugh.”

Matty nudges his head against Jo’s, like a cat, “Everything makes you laugh,” he mumbles, frowning a little, “but you think I’m a funny guy?”

“You wanna be special, Matty?” Jo teases him, tipping his head back. Matty’s hair is terribly greasy, but his cheek radiates warmth, and the rest of his body, pressed tight against Jo’s shoulders through hips through knees and ankles, is solid, dense, and burning hot.

“Hey, can we go to your place?” Matty asks, sticking his nose in Jo’s phone and blinking at the pending Uber request, “I’ll buy you breakfast in the morning.”

“I’ll make you waffles,” Jo counters into Matty’s greasy head, cancelling the request for Matty’s place and putting his own instead.

“Real ones,” he demands, pulling away from his phone, speaking clearer than he’s been for the past hour, “not the protein ones.”

“Picky,” Jo elbows him, instead of saying something insane like, yeah, bud, always, anytime you want.

[thekenobee]

I started watching “Stage Struck”

[asthmaticdrustin]

This is fall out boy, my favorite girl band ❤

[isitsafetodrinktherainwater32]

CRINGETOBER DAY SEVENTEEN (fake anime screenshot) is this funny guys is this silly

[lordyglor]

For every note!?!!!

I will give her ONE (☝️ 1) KISS.

[wildfloweronwheels]

Going to be thinking about last night's surprise songs for a long time... how you get the girl being an instruction manual on what to do when you screw up a relationship but also the happy vibes when someone gets it right + the albatross being a symbol of dead weight/something to be freed from + white horse being about an apology too late - you can't save me/fix this/you don't know what you've got till it's gone/ I need to leave for myself and then coney island - the slow painful relationship breakdown tinged with shades of other loss and memory, the fracturing of a forever that she wrote with william bowery. like jesus... with every piece of this puzzle, I flinch at the bigger picture

[llynnl2]

Ok I’ve been working on my heathers reboot video essay but I also just saw beetlejuice beetlejuice and can I just point out

Same guy different fonts

[im-probably-playing-genshin]

Joe from sk8 kissed 2 girls. He’s straight

hope this helps!

[quietrobots]

and when you think about me all those years ago you're standing face to face with "i told you so" /ly

[mozki]

so confusing being in a mushroom cult btwn 2016-2020 which is like just as the public were starting to talk more about things as well ive listened to so many hours of lectures on mycology in person, watched so many docs, watched and partaken in the cultivation, spent days and days identifying in the woods but i have no idea how much of that knowledge is now common knowledge, what ppl would like to know or whats obvious and insulting to have explained ive been struggling with variables like that in conversation lately my social skills um fell off i guess lol

[cantsayidont]

January 16, 1939. Almost exactly nine months after the publication of ACTION COMICS #1, Superman became a syndicated newspaper strip, which was what Siegel and Shuster had wanted in the first place — in those days, comic strips were the big time, with comic books the somewhat disreputable poor relation. The first newspaper continuity presented a more detailed account of Superman's origin than had yet appeared in the comic books, introducing many elements that would become foundations of the Superman mythos.

Two points of note in this initial strip: First, it indicates that all Kryptonians possessed superhuman powers even on their homeworld, here attributed to advanced evolution. The notion that Superman's powers were due to environmental differences between Earth and Krypton developed gradually, and it wasn't until the 1950s (when the scope of his abilities had increased beyond what could be explained by lighter gravity alone) that they were attributed to Earth's yellow sun. Second, notice the spellings of Superman's parents' names, here "Jor-L" and "Lora." Superman's mother became "Lara" in the initial radio version of Superman's origin a year later, and the modern spellings of "Jor-El" and "Kal-El" first appeared in the 1942 prose novel THE ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN, by radio director George Lowther, although in the novel, the "E" was lowercase (i.e., Jor-el, Kal-el).