#a fun game for you to play with your therapist- who can find my insta and twitter the fastest ready set go

[explodingstarlight]

the universe has had 23 years to smite me and it's yet to succeed,,, so now i get cake

[loungelaughlove]

How To Deal When Things Get Stressful 😟😩

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Hey Ladies!

Have y’all ever been so stressed out you legit didn’t know what to do with yourself anymore? The worry, the one thing after the next just draining your life force till you’re a living personification of a prune? Yes? Me too.

I’ve been so stressed to the point of tears, headaches and eye twitching for 2weeks. It was literally making me sick and honestly it’s not healthy and wears the body down. Now I’ve come around, and hashed it out with my care counselor here’s a few things you can do when you literally just can’t right now.

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Talk It Out

This one is first because it’s the most important and the most helpful in my opinion. Talk to someone! If you’re blessed enough to have therapist or a counselor utilize them. I’ll preach this until I’m out of breath. This literally saved my tail from lashing out and doing things I may regret 😖. It helped me this time while I was going through it. If you don’t have a therapist, try a friend or a trusted individual. Being & feeling heard is the first step to feeling better. If you don’t have a friend there are resources you can utilize that’ll post for your use in a separate post so it doesn't get lost.

Stop! Put Your Hands Up And Step Away From The Screen!

Screen time. Once upon a time I used to believe this was nonsense oh what a sweet summer child was I. It can be easy (extremely easy especially for my fellow ADHD peeps) to get sucked up into the screen. It could be tumblr, insta, twitter, work, school work, TikTok or just browsing into the abyss. Before you know what should of been 3 hrs online turned into 12hrs. Then you have a headache, your eyes hurt and you don’t know where you are anymore because you’ve been stagnant, probably forgot to eat properly and drink enough water.

Give yourself breaks in between away from the screen. 20-30mins at a time when you can if you have legitimate work that requires the internet. Other wise, try and set a timer and decompress from doom scrolling. Give your brain and eyes a chance to relax.

Physical Self Care

“How are you taking care of yourself?” Asked my counselor at my last session. I couldn’t think of anything. I wasn’t taking care of myself. I didn’t shower already for several days, I barely took time out to eat, I wasn’t moving my body and I sure as hell wasn’t going outside. To answer her I was doing a pretty shit job at taking care of myself and gave myself the excuse that I was focusing on balancing it all, trying to land a job in UX and dedicate my morning, noon and night to it. Who needs to be healthily when I’m bringing myself closer to the life I want? (Spoiler: I wasn’t moving no where because I was too far out of it) (and not being on my medication didn't make this easier..)

I’ve relayed this message so many times about the importance of taking care of yourself and how not doing so won’t help you in the long run or anyone else. So as I’ve broken my own advice, and old habits die hard take care of yourself. Start with one thing at a time. Doesn’t have to be huge. It could be as simple as drinking water, taking 10 mins to decompress, going for a short walk, or just giving yourself time to freshen up. Whatever you need to do to take care of you and just build on it.

Do A Fun Thing

All work and no play makes a lady dull. Under stress it's hard to pull back and live a little. Like, your brain is literally telling you not to because there are so many other pressing things to be concerned about. While that maybe true, that doesn't mean you have to run yourself ragged and kill yourself. Take a moment out to enjoy life and live a little. Honestly, it doesn't have to be going out (though it can be fun) and partying, you can play your favorite video games, meet up with a friend, have a movie marathon! Anything you can think of that's fun go for it! The pressing issue will still be there until you can find a solution for it but, the time you have to enjoy the little things isn't guaranteed so take a moment have some fun.

Acknowledge Your Feelings and Allow Yourself To Feel Them

I know a lot of us think we can handle it all, be power houses and serious 24/7. We can, We're strong, We're tough, We got this even with tears in our eyes. BUT! We're still human. We're complex, We're Fragile, Soft and have so many layers to us. I know we tend to hide or mask our struggles as women and women with adhd so it doesn't look as bad as it feels inside. We don't want to feel the shame, guilt or embarrassment of not being able to juggle everything as well as everyone seems to. We'll be juggling 10-20 plates saying we got this but you know inside you're about to drop 15 of them any second.

Put the plates down. Each and every one of them. Listen to your body and listen well. Your body is telling you're struggling to balance it all and you need to take a step back. Acknowledge that you're having a difficult time right now, allow yourself to feel that. Don't just power through arms/hands shaking and plates breaking because you couldn't hole your arms out for so long with so much. Put them down, ask for help, delegate a few plates to others, or just put some plates aside and only carry what you're physically, mentally and emotionally able to.

Conclusion

Not everything I shared is fool-proof but I can say it could be helpful for you next time you have a hard moment. I think I leave this here with this..

In times of high stress it's alright to not be well alright. It's hard out here and even harder when theirs stress added into the mix. It's okay to cope the best way you know how but, we want to do more than cope we want to heal and do the best for ourselves everyday. It's alright to be vulnerable enough to ask for help and it's okay to put the plates down.. no one's going to yell at you or disown you, the world will not end nor stop if you do. Just you. (If someone does or makes you feel like everything terrible in world will come if you do whats best for you, maybe they shouldn't be in your circle)

Any of my ladies here have difficulty dealing with high stress situations? How do you handle them? I'd love to read and I'm sure others would appreciate the tips and suggestions from peers.

[liw-the-melancholic-apple]

The First One - Bonus scenes in traditional written word

This is a smau and a zukoXreader, although i haven't decided how this ends yet.

Y/n has recently transferred to Ba Sing Se from Omashu university and meets the gaang through a schoolproject they do with sokka and suki.

Bonus 2: Nerves

Ooooookay. It wasn't all this exciting. You'd been to parties before. You'd met new people before. Why did choosing a pair of jeans feel like you were deciding your fate? You usually only noticed people's jeans when they didn't fit, were neon colours or torn to shreds.

Your jeans all fit you, they were all in the neutral colour scheme and those that were distressed were still more fabric than hole.

So, by your own logic you could choose any pair and be fine. Yet still five pairs were laying on your bed. 2 grey, 2 black, one midnight blue. You didn't seem to be able to pick one.

The pile of t-shirts and jumpers on the ground hadn't gotten any of your attention but promised to be a similar drama...

You sighed in annoyance and texted both, Jin and Fai. The latter had a lot of encouragement and suggestions while the former mostly mocked you. He did however offer some really good advise: treat it like a gig with the band. In a pub. Wear those clothes.

"And stop being such a nervous wreck! It doesn't suit you. You're great. You're fun. They'll like you."

He didn't let you thank him, though. "Next time you're here, you're buying at least two rounds. I'm not your fucking therapist."

Classic Jin. But his idea worked. To a gig you'd wear the ripped black jeans, white t-shirt and the vintage leather jacket.

Those where the clothes you wore when you left your appartment. Those were the clothes you wore when Suki texted that she was held up at Aang's place. She would be late. Sokka was gonna join later anyways. Ty Lee wasn't coming at all.

Yeah, meeting new people who were presumably forced to be nice to you!! On your own. Without the safety blanket that were Suki and Sokka. Great...

You stood in front of the Jasmin Dragon, studying the green and gold of the big logo on the window and the small one on the door.

You could just wait here for Suki. No, you weren't a child and Suki wasn't your mum. Besides, she would show up with Aang -why did that name seem so familiar? - and you already told her that you would be about 15 minutes earlier than her. Waiting was no option.

You shifted your weight from your left leg to the right and texted the group chat:" So, I'm here."

Katara answered, telling you to come inside to the counter. The scent of oriental spices and caramel syrup filled the air in the shop. The perfect mix of old-timey, traditional tea house and modern way too sweet coffeshop combined into one smell. The essence of the Jasmin Dragon.

You had discovered it during your first week in Ba Sing Se and instantly fell in love with it. Was it that smell? Maybe. Was it the excellent sencha-ginger-tea? Partially. Was it the supercharging, black as your soul giant mugs of coffee? Partially. Was it the delicious muffins in every flavour imagineable? Yes. Was it the breakfast items that all looked mouthwatering? Absolutely.

But mainly it was the general atmosphere here. The furniture was a collection of armchairs, benches, sofas  and tables that all looked like they came from a 50's or 60's living room. All colours of the Rainbow, nothing actually fit together. It was so cosy and inviting.

And then there was the old man who usually was behind the black marble counter. You'd found that he would start around 11 am, as he was never there when you got your coffee before early lectures and classes. But he would take orders, prepare drinks, clean tables and give his thoughts on students' problems when you popped in for a midmorning pick-me-up.

And also now, close to closing time, the rotonde older man with the long grey hair stood behind the counter checking on a couple of teapots that gently bubbled behind him. While doing so, he talked to a short black-haired girl that giggled a lot.  She held on to an annoyed looking tall guy, that you thought might work here, and stood next to a girl that warmly smiled at you and waved you over.

"Y/n?"

"Yes, that would be me. You're Katara?" She nodded.

"And that's Toph and Zuko", she answered while indicating the girl and the guy. Suki had warned you about both of them. Toph was blind and often subjected to people wanting to help her, which she hated. "Don't offer her help. She'll let you know  when she needs you", Suki had said.

The girl extended a hand into your general direction. "Pleasure meeting you."

"All mine", you answered taking her hand. Zuko also shook your hand, mumbleing "Hi."

He had a rather large scar on the left side of his face. His hair covered it some. According to Suki you shouldn't stare and shouldn't mention it. She had known Zuko for years and still didn't know how he got it. You quickly averted your eyes.

"Okay, so I'm sure Suki already told you but she only just left Aang's. His roommate is a bit mad because he can't go to the party and delayed them."

You were about to answer when the man behind the counter cleared his throat. "Sencha-ginger", he handed you cup. Surprised but greateful you took it and looked for your wallet.

"Oh, no need. You've been a valued customer. And i finally learned your name. You know, you're one of the most quiet People ever to come into the shop." He gave you another smile.

"Not really quiet", you answer laughing. " But i usually come in alone and i don't like talking to myself in public. People stare." The man crinkled his forehead but Toph punched your shoulder and laughed. "Sokka said you were funny!"

"Well, why do you always come in on your own?", counterman inquired, his forehead smoother.

"Uhm...", should you tell the sad truth?

"You don't have to answer that", Zuko intervened. "Since he opened the dragon he's become quite enamored with gossip, haven't you uncle? No need to satisfy his curiosity."

"My nephew thinks me impolite. But I reckon there is a reason for your solitude. If it is your choice to enjoy our tea alone you can tell me that and no harm is done. But if unfortunate circumstances force you to drink your tea by yourself i would like to give you the oppertunity to speak about it. Let go of dark thoughts."

Wow. Some teamaker he was. And Zuko's uncle? Interesting.

"Thank you...Mr..."

"Iroh. Just Iroh will be fine."

"Well then, thank you Iroh. It's not too much of a story, though. I moved to Ba Sing Se six weeks ago and haven't yet found a group of people who'd put up with me for extended periods of time", you chuckled, hoping you didn't seem too desparate.

Katara seemed like she wanted to say something really nice but Iroh spoke quicker:" Oh, i don't think that's true. You don't give me the impression that anybody would have to put up with you. But if you want company while drinking your beverage i can always chat.

We could talk about your love for green tea and ginger. You know we also have black tea varieties that feature ginger and i think you might enjoy the herbal infusions.

The fruitier teas go great with the muffins! And if you're into croissants and pudding pretzels you should try the vanilla chai latte.

But if you don't want to talk about tea we could also gossip and play pai sho. You know how to play pai show, right?"

You absolutely didn't.

"I'm familiar with the most basic of basic rules." Wrong answer. The sweet little man grabbed a pai sho board out of nowhere and started explaining the game. Zuko offered an apologetic gesture, while Katara and Toph intently listened. You sipped your tea, nodded your head and enjoyed just being part of something. It had been a minute. But you would never play pai show of your own volition. The game was complicated and boring at the same time.

"Maybe you would like to learn about the ancient art of teamaking?", Iroh continued his suggestions of things to talk about when at the dragon.

Was there an art to it? Hot water and a teabag, no? You tried a vague expression and he kept talking.

"I always wanted to found a club or class, you know. Likeminded tea enthusiasts who want to deepen their knowledge and appreciation. Would you be interested?"

No, you weren't. But he was so endearing. So caring. So genuinely into this idea.

"I... have yet to find out how much time and effort my classes will demand. I wouldn't wanna make promises i can't keep."

That was fair, right? And not even an actual lie.

"We're here!!!!!"

Suki burst through the door, followed by a gangly guy with a shaved head. Aang!! That's why the name sounded familiar! He was Instagram verified. Half the campus followed him for his inspirational quotes and vegan recipes.

Suki hugged you hello, introduced you to the insta-famous and then Katara ushered you out and to the metrostation.

You waved at Iroh as you left. He had only talked about things that hardly interested you but he'd managed to make you feel like a member of the group that was now discussing pai sho rules, teamaking and being on time.

MASTERLIST

Part 1

@fanficflaneuse @eddiesemoass

[patchesthegothictramp]

P5R review as written by a shuake and goroboy

You’ve been warned. Also it’s pretty long so I’m splitting it into three, possibly four sections with Gameplay+Jose+Kasumi first, Maruki second, and Akechi third and if the story isn’t covered by then, then story in the fourth.

Here’s the first part, gameplay, Jose and Kasumi.

Let’s start with gameplay, honestly it’s so much fun, 10/10. A problem I used to have with palaces is that they just ended up being the same thing over and over again. You run through, sneak up on shadows, target their weaknesses, all out attack and that’s it. You also barely used your gun till late game cos ammo was so precious and you could only make reserve ammo later on or get extra ammo from the Tower confidant. But now with functionally unlimited ammo in one palace run, showtime mechanics, instant baton pass, it’s soooo much better. On the note of the baton pass, I’m so glad it’s always there now because it previously made it impossible to play with the characters who were supposed to be the main focus of each palace, save for Niijima’s palace where Akechi got it immediately.

In terms of confidant abilities, they work so much better? Ann has more than just negotiating with shadows now which is great since it adds a little more flavour to her confidant abilities, Maruki’s detox probably saved me a million times, and Ryuji’s insta-kill being optional and giving you xp and money makes it actually usable, instead of just accidentally killing shadows when you’re trying to grind for xp but are too high level to actually fight anyone.

As for the new characters, I’m kind of mixed. Let’s start with the easiest- Jose. He’s adorable, his stamps are annoying to find on lower floors but super helpful and honestly, I just want to adopt him. He’s a wonderful and random addition to the cast and doesn’t really add much, if anything, to the plot but I’m so glad he’s here for the ride. Also he almost beat my ass and honestly? Good for him.

Then there’s Kasumi, or Sumire really, and she’s the one I’m possibly mixed about the most. She’s… fine as a character, but outside of being a plot device in term 3, I’m not sure she adds much. It’s clear that they wanted to make her a counterpoint to Maruki and a third counterpoint to Ren’s and Akechi’s already established rivalry. For the first one, Maruki believes everyone needs someone to rely on and he can be that person/god, whereas Sumire believes everyone should do things themselves. For the second, Ren believes the thieves are doing more than the police, Akechi thinks that while they are helpful they’re also an unchecked power and Sumire thinks they’re cool but they aren’t really helping anyone because people shouldn’t rely on others… which honestly made me hate her for a second. If only because of her suggestion that Ann, Shiho and all of Kamoshida’s victims could’ve done something if only they ‘tried harder’ and that’s very much victim blaming mentality, which I understand is kind of part of her story but it still feels unnecessary.

I don’t think she works very well as a counterpoint to any of this because she’s already unsure of her identity and imposing her already shaky beliefs seems… odd. Otherwise, she is a sweet girl and my own issues with calling Ren senpai all the time aside, I think she generally fits in with the group and is still a much better insert into the story than Marie as many had feared before the game was released.

Also... while part of it is probably the shuake in me speaking here, I don’t think she’s pushed as a romantic option more so than the other girls. She has moments in her story where she’s closer to Ren just like Ann does, or get’s flustered around him like Futaba does but I generally don’t see it as more of a puppy crush that she stops having if you choose not to romance her, considering the whole thing drops when you don’t romance her at all. Her being new did make me think that for a bit but when I started looking at it objectively I only realised then that I was paying attention to her scenes more than the other girls which then of course made me think she’s being pushed more but I just can’t see her being more ‘canon’ than the other girls are.

And in the next bit I’ll be discussing Maruki, why I think he’s a villain and why he’s an awful therapist.

[dinviataunuitiptrans]

#dinviataunuitiptrans

It's 2020 and my only resolution is to take it easy on me and go walk whenever I feel the sadness circling my soul, so this day I do just that.

I woke up freezing because the heater got broken and I know that if I stay indoors I'm gonna fall into some sort of despair so I go and brew some few cups of tea, purr them in bottles, roll up my last blunt from the stash, eat some pasta left overs from new years eve, dress myself in pretty colors and head out. It's been one hour of walking therapy so I stop by McD. to pee and then head out to the small park to have a smoke and rest my legs.

"- Futu-ți morții mă-tii de adiere băşită" is the best my brain could think of when the wind blowed away the tobacco from my rizla while trying to roll, so I start all over.

"- Futu-ți morții mă-tii...", this is my second attempt, the tobacco is all over my pants so I take a deep breath and keep on trying.

"- Futu-ți morții mă-tiiiii!!!!"

That was my 3d attempt to roll but the wind had other plans for my lungs. But then you came bye amused by the words you didn't understand, holding a pack of cigarettes and inviting me to stop fighting the wind and have a smoke from your pack. So I take one and you take a seat next to me and we lit up the cancer tubes, I say thanks and you say I'm very cute and smile. To scare the shyness away I pretend to flip my hair in the gayest way possible:

- Oh, just cute? and I thought I was beautiful, now you destroyed my dreams to ever be an instagram sensation.

You start laughing and tell me I'm actually beautiful and we start playing this game where we kinda make fun of how dumb we as humans are, I'm cracking up silly jokes and you do the same, I tell you I find you very cute also and I apologise for shattering your dreams of being an insta model, you laugh and you give me another cigarette and then move a bit closer to me.

- You're very smart for such a young guy...are you seeing someone?

- Love, you're sweet but I'm not that young...

Then you touch my hand and tell me you already like me and that I don't have to lie to impress you because you have been with guys younger than my age. That's how I find out that I'm most likely 22 or 23 and that you're just few years older than me, you're 25. I tell you lies are not my sexy kink and that I'm born in 1984, on the 31st of May. You laugh but I see the awe on your face so I tell you the good looks run in my family and that if you see my brothers you'll know what I'm talking about.

- Show me

You say that and then cuddled so close to me that you give me no option but put my arm around you while I start pulling out pictures from the phone.

- Here is Patrick, he's the love of my life and one of the sweetest man the Universe has given us. He's gonna be 35 this year.

You say we look alike but that I'm prettier than him so I turn a bit red and start feeling kind of uncomfortable so I swipe away.

- In this picture he's with Max, they are at a court hearing. Max is the oldest one, he is in his 40s and he lives here in UK but up north. I haven't seen him for ages and I miss him and his signature paranoia very much. This is Andrei, I have tons of pictures with him, we live together and he is so sweet that every time I think of him my heart melts. Probably the reason I take secret pictures of him while sleeping.

I show you more pictures with him and tell you the story when I had to sleep in his room and how he cuddled close to me when we were sleeping and you press yourself against my body and tell me you get it why. This makes me feel even more uncomfortable cuz you kinda took up every cm of my personal space but I don't know what to do so I brush it off.

- He's 22 and he might be one of the sexiest of us but he's not the youngest, Gherman is. See? This is Gabi but I call him Gherman, this is a screenshot from one of our chats, I always do this pictures when we talk so that I have them to look at when I miss them. You would say he's 14 but actually he just turned 18. He's an adorable pain in the ass but with the soul in the right place. And this is Chriss, look how gorgeous this guy is and his heart is pure gold. He's such a talented artist but unfortunately he wasn't discovered yet, he draws nudes and erotic art and it's mind fucking blowing. This is a photo with Chriss, Rami and Teo, I almost cried when I got these pictures of them. Rami represents the whole notion of humanness and he's shy just like me.

- This guy is blonde... is he also your brother?

You pointed out to Teo so I show you more pictures with him and then pull up pictures with Andreas also.

- Yeah, we have few blondes in our family but we decided to love them nonetheless. This is Andreas, not only that he's blond but he's also a very wise man. It's always such a pleasure talking to him. He's in Germany now. Just like Leo.

I'm looking for pictures with Leo so I start scrolling for the screenshots from the last whatsapp conversation and you decide to take a break from your cuddle and have a smoke. Now I feel more comfortable even though you're still resting your body next to mine.

- Here is my adorable Leo.

- He looks alot like the first guy without the beard..

- Like Patrick?

- Yeah

You see the pictures with me and Vlăduț and you like him.

- This is your brother also, I can tell. Is he old like you?

- No, actually he's young like you. And also an amazing musician and sound therapist. He makes sounds with weird instruments and then you feel a bit better. But he's not in London anymore, he returned home, he wasn't feeling very good here.

I feel you're a bit disappointed and probably thinking that you'll have to settle with me but once you get me started with my brothers it's very hard to make me stop.

- And this is Aris, he looks like an artist because he is one, he's a painter and a tattoo artist. And this is Elias, if you're ever looking for a smart conversation then he's the guy to go to. Him or Alexander. The difference is the sarcasm of Alex versus the warmth of Elias.

Then I show you Alexander and you smile and ask me if Elias and Alex are twins but I have no chance to answer because now you're handing me your phone and ask me to pull up my fb and I do just that so you start looking around while I'm getting even more nostalgic going through the pictures in my phone. I'm looking for a picture with Abel but I have no more time to show it to you

- You're transgendered?

- Oh love, there's no such thing as being "transgendered", nobody can transgender me, I am transgender because this is how I am.

- You mean you're not a real man?

- I'm just as a real human as you are love, and for sure am a man. Just that I'm a trans man

- And you're proud of this sickness...

And then you show me my cover photo.

I felt your disgust even since you said "Trasgendered" and I know very well that look in your eyes, I once had a crazy girlfriend who used to look at me just like that and somehow it feels so fucking familiar that I sense what is going to happen next so I try my best to avoid it. I tell you that each of us has its own life to live and that people must learn to accept and embrace diversity if we want to heal this human race. I tell you that body parts are just that, body parts and that gender identity is not defined by sexual anatomy. I want to tell you more but I was right and you snap into rage mode, slap the shit out of me almost poking my eye out with your nails.

- Fucking disgusting predator, man with pussy, you should be burned alive.

You walk away in anger showing the middle finger, shouting "fuck you", so I shout back that you wish to have the luck to get fucked by such a proud trans man but that I don't fuck crazy bitches anymore so you turned around and you were fuming so I told you that if you come back to hit me again I'm gonna punch you in the face. You left. I start rolling one and feel sorry I got angry and yelled back but somehow so relieved that you went away.

Dear L.,

You have my FB now and somehow I hope this message gets to you: please get some medical help you are in desperate need, and you won't get to meet nice guys like me everywhere.

I know you have serious mental issues cuz a healthy mind wouldn't let you go to total strangers looking for their attention and affection on a bench in a park, you don't cuddle with strange men and expose yourself like that.

I lived with a girl like you, extremely violent and unstable that is, for a whole year and I know that you were just looking to meet somebody that looks like a nice guy but actually hoping to get an asshole so you can have an excuse to violently manifest your pain. Been there through that already so I know the drill. The fact that you discovered I'm transgender was just the trigger you were looking for, and I didn't feel you hated me but I did feel that you wanted to make someone suffer and you found me, so it was just a matter of time until something would have triggered you.

PS: I'm sorry I threatened you but I don't like being hit. I wouldn't have hit you back but I would have called the ambulance because I learned that being a sweet person doesn't help when somebody suffers like you do.