#a few actually said it was human and I'm inclined to think because the post actually makes sense it might at least have some oversight

[gotta-bail-my-quails]

im not sure if it is meta or deeply ironic that a person would use AI for an assignment in a Critical AI course...

[thewertsearch]

We're got a couple of assorted asks about quadrant dynamics here. Since they're all related, I'll answer them as a single post.

@galaxa-13 asked: I personally never saw Feferi being annoyed by Eridan talking about feelings with Karkat because he was only supposed to talk about them with her, but rather because he ONLY talked about them with Karkat. She had to do all the heavy lifting in their relationship by making sure he didn't commit genocide, and then didn't get to unwind with some romantic gossip. If my platonic boyfriend never talked to me, but did with others, I'd question him too. @lilietsblog asked: I never read Feferi as being jealous of Karkat in a violating relationship exclusivity / cheating on her way. I read it as a playful "why aren't you talking about stuff with me? is it because you've already talked it all out?" where Eridan was very much supposed to read between the lines and undersatnd that she just wanted him to tell her about his red crushes (awkward, that…) While I'm sure there are specific rituals trolls /only/ do with their moirails, my overall impression is that trolls normally just… don't form relationships close and trusting enough for emotional support like that. The quadrants help by making it semi-mandatory to find SOMEONE. (Also I'm actually sure that a healthy moirallegiance would be reciprocal with both partners pacifying each other, it's just the hemospectrum version of gender roles)

You may have a point. Eridan was clearly a poor moirail from the start - probably because he never actually wanted to be Feferi's moirail. To him, the quadrant was clearly just a stepping stone to matespritship, so he wasn't invested in its dynamics. Feferi's not really angry about Karkat, here - she's just a little frustrated about how one-sided their moirallegence has turned out to be.

That said, I do still believe that quadrants would work better if they were polyamorous - even if this particular scenario doesn't illustrate my point as well as I thought it did.

@morganwick asked: I mean, some would argue that placing undue emphasis on monogamy beyond what's actually healthy or natural is true of human romance as well. But part of what might be going on here is that on Alternia, it's not a good idea to let knowledge of your fears, doubts, and weaknesses spread too far, lest it mark you for culling. Best to vent to a single person who won't tell another soul. (See also how Vriska is saying things to John she wouldn't tell any other troll.) @bladekindeyewear asked: "At the end of the day, I do think moirallegiance is a good idea. I just don’t think it really works if moirails can’t be poly." What if they CAN be? People with naturally polyamorous inclinations are few and marginalized on present-day Earth, and Alternian society seems set up to STOMP OUT the marginalized. Quadrants certainly exist, but how much of their rigidity and the pervasive troll view that you only have "one true fated partner(s)" for each quadrant might just be cultural?

I think a monogamous system of moirallegence is probably all that Alternia could handle. Sustaining a polyamorous quadrant system would require a level of emotional maturity that the average troll simply isn't going to have - and, like you said, it might be dangerous to widen your circle more than is actually necessary.

I still think the trolls would benefit from such a system, though. On Alternia, it simply wasn't to be - but the Alternian Players now have the chance to build an entirely new culture. Who knows what new dynamics they might discover?

@lilietsblog asked: I don't think Hussie "jumped the gun". I think Hussie was messing around with the very idea of "what romance should be like". Trolls don't care about what gender their partners are, and have a different system of confusing rigid rules that no two people understand quite the same and that don't work out in practice that way anyway, instead. The quadrant system was never intended to be a serious worldbuilding project any more than Troll Will Smith

See, I get what you're saying - but the difference, in my opinion, is that that Troll Will Smith was a one-panel joke, whereas the quadrant system has informed our understanding of troll relationships for the entirety of Act 5. Unlike Will, quadrants have stayed relevant, and they've been critical to understanding many of the Alternians' key character moments.

That's not to say that quadrants aren't partially a joke. Frankly, I don't think any of Homestuck is entirely serious - but I do think quadrants are 'real' in the context of the story, and should be analyzed as a legitimate part of its world.

@bladekindeyewear asked: One last bout moirails-- Andrew in his asks has said that the idea behind each of the Quadrants IS supposed to match up with real human relationship and friend dynamics we already understand, making them relatable but w/ a romantic drive that isn't quite human-analogous. Trolls biologically compelled to enter them before understanding them, a challenge "particularly tortuous for young trolls" (p2393), plus the 600 hour session makes sense of Eq/Nep's relationship's drastic evolution to me.

I've always been a little skeptical about this whole 'biological drive' angle for the quadrants - mostly because there are plenty of human biological drives that are either overstated, misinterpreted, or outright fabricated.

That's not to say that the trolls don't have some sort of compulsion to seek out quadrants. If it does exist, though, I hope it slowly fades, now that the trolls have left their planet and its expectations behind.

[themsource]

Life Update 7/13/2024

I'm alive.

There's a lot that's gone on and is going on but I'm here. There's of course a lot going on in my life and has been going on that has once again kept me away. I will not divulge or explain, because I don't wish to. It was a lot, still is a lot, and is extremely personal.

I'm not leaving the undertale fandom as a creative, however, I will be leaving the fandom as a social participant. There's too much corruption and bitterness, too much drama and judgement in the social side of the fandom that I choose not to tolerate anymore.

There are too many people that would rather lie about who they are and what they believe as well as abuse or cut off people that have done them no harm in order to be liked and to gain approval. Acting as if life is one long extended episode of black mirror where your social ranking matters more than empathy to a fellow human, where the echo chamber is god and what's logically right and wrong doesn't matter in the face of personal opinion and paranoia.

I'm too old, and too tired.

Fandom is supposed to be fun, not a nightmare of walking on broken glass and eggshells. I have my small handful of friends that have proven that they are genuine people that legitimately don't care about the nonsense that goes around and imaginary pitchforks that can make them more popular or gain them more friends if they were to follow abusive hate trends and ignorant accusation posts lacking concrete evidence. I feel safe with them and will keep to them, always.

I no longer have time to deal with the "misunderstandings" or "confusion" that happens so often in large groups playing telephone or with those that try to fit words to their own narrative and understanding without attempting to think outside their own preverbal box of preconceived notions and bias, and don't care to do so.

I will no longer attempt to clear up anything or try to be understood by those that honestly don't know me and don't wish to, and who clearly only seek a thrill in causing pain and taking their own projected hurts and frustrations out on someone.

There will be no conversations. Every single online stranger reading this now is free to think what they want about me, even the untruths if they're so inclined.

I'm done trying.

The internet is where the hateful and cruel strive behind an anonymous mask—one often disguised in kindness and supposed acceptance—and of which is the whole of their life and meaning. But it is not mine.

Them, and the internet at large, is not worth my time, health, or life.

When I joined this fandom after my mother's death a few years ago I signed up for an experience that could bring a smile to my face while I gave one in turn to others while I dealt with my grief. Not to be shoved into situations where uneducated youths and adults in their 30s-40 with the maturity of previously said youths go rampart with the need to harm others, either to get ahead or for their own benefit in manipulation to get something out of others.

I have steadily been pulling away more and more over the years because of this. Struggling with the overflow of depression and stress that it has caused me, in turn making me push away and withdraw from people who didn't deserve it in many instances because my own value and self-worth tanked due to the self-deprecating thoughts it caused me.

I am not a saint.

I've done my fair share of wrongs, some of which I will never personally feel I have accounted for properly. I stood silent out of fear of being attacked when I should have said something to help someone wrongly accused by supposed friends and mutuals, I hid in the shadows and didn't think to lend a hand to people I saw were clearly in need because I didn't feel worthy of doing so, and probably many other things that I am unfortunately not aware of because they were never brought to my attention.

Because most people online don't believe in actual conversation but rather in blocking and spreading misinformed assumptions, and in dreaded call out posts so as to earn brownie points for "exposing" (or the nicer form of saying it, but is still just as cruel because the posters know that it WILL lead to harassment regardless of evidence or truth no matter if spread in public or private, but wish to play ignorant anyways — "spreading awareness") of someone. Granted these wrongs were for the most part carried out in my early fandom days that doesn't excuse the fact that they happened.

I still did the exact same thing that was done to me. I unknowingly perpetuated a never ending cycle of hurt, both out of fear and ignorance and out of a naïve want to be loved and accepted.

But I refuse to let myself be a victim or to think of myself as one out of guilt for those wrongs and loneliness anymore, and I refuse to witness others be abused and forced to feel the same way I did over the most menial and redundant bullshit that goes around and is somehow supposed to define your character to the dumbed digital masses.

I'm done.

Plain and simple.

I will be permanently turning off asks and no longer responding to any form of DM unless it is from someone I have initiated a conversation with, have engaged with before, or shares a mutual friend with me that can assure me that they're a decent person, and that I feel comfortable with. I will still on occasion post about updates or share something for the few that may want to keep following, but my personal accounts will largely be silent.

Just because I'm silent won't mean that I'm gone though.

It just means I'm not willing to be poisoned any longer, and am content at looking in from afar, if even that.

There's a lot of good people in this space, I know that, and it saddens me the possibilities I will miss out on in getting to meet or know any of them beyond the ones I know already, but I only get one life to live before I go six feet under, and I choose to put me first.

[haleigh-sloth]

I read a post that suggested maybe the reason this info has only been talked about in a heteromorph-centered chapter is because the subject isn't talked about at all with the human characters

Like, what if hero society just doesn't talk about these things?

And so, in a heteromorph-centered chapter, the incidents mentioned are only remembered, and considered more crucial, to those who still suffer from the discrimination in the present

I agree that maybe these incidents should have been touched on, or at least mentioned, in the story at some point, but I wonder if this could be part of it too. That hero society just doesn't talk about it

Plus, the setting of the entire story has been in cities or in UA, places that are said to have more acceptance towards heteromorphs by being exposed to them earlier on in life and therefore taught more about diversity. (Also, UA's classrooms have those big doors, remember? To accommodate for heteromorphs, any student at all. A few of the teachers are heteromorphs, including the principal)

So, it's kind of a reach, but maybe that's why the subject hasn't been talked about either? Because it's already accepted enough in a place that already shows acceptance, and we've usually always centered around UA?

What are your thoughts on this?

Ehh...maybe.

I can't say that's not a possibility, but I'm more inclined to think it's just a flaw in the story's balance of its plot points.

I think this take WOULD make more sense to me if the story was very strictly told from Izuku's POV. And I mean strictly--like everything WE see, Izuku is seeing and narrating. But that's not how the story is told. We see things happening on screen that Izuku isn't there to witness in canon. All of MVA for example, but also just, a great portion of the story happens without him, too many to list actually.

So because it's set up this way, imo it very easily could have been touched on more than it was. Because it's set up in a way where it doesn't have to be from a certain person's POV to be seen on screen, if that makes sense.

The other thing is Shouji as a character. It's not particularly a huge complaint of mine that he's suddenly important. I got over that issue BNHA has a while ago. But just the fact that Shouji was SUCH a very very background character for so long, but now is representing the other half of the fight that is posing as the build up and pay off of this plot point, kind of feeds into how unbalanced it is.

But on the other hand--Horikoshi's writing is just really weird like that sometimes. I agree when people say he's a slow burn writer and that we have to wait for things to pay off--BUT, I still think in comparison to some of the other slow burn things, Shouji's build up isn't nearly on par with say, the Touya reveal or Aoyama's reveal. There were hints dropped and things in the story that fed into those two characters becoming important later on. Shouji I think has some moments, but not nearly enough for me to put it in the "bnha slow burn" pile.

Then again I can't deny that it may be because I personally didn't look too hard at Shouji throughout the story. Maybe I need to go back and re-read some parts. I've seen people point out moments here in there, but I still think that in comparison to the rest, this plot point as a whole, along with Shouji's prominent role feels kind of thrown at us.

The most well writtern and consistent part of this plot point is Spinner's character. He himself is a great character, and him rejecting the idea that the movement he is the face of is important to him because he didn't set out to BE the face of anything is a pretty good personal challenge to navigate. That on top of his self-worth (lack thereof), his faulty loyalty to Shigaraki, and the effects that the discrimination he's faced has had on him but he ignores it, all make for a really good challenge to see him work through, which I'm excited for.

I just....I agree with the complaints that it was all just shoe horned into one section of the story. I see what they mean.

Then on the other side of it, I have pretty much always thought that as much as BNHA tries to make the "we live in a society" message a big part of the endgame conflict, it just isn't able to. I've said it before, but Shigaraki, Touya, and Toga may all have issues with the world they live in and how it's run, but the story very very blatantly puts their personal demons in the forefront. Explaining all of that would be its own post so I won't dive into that here. But idk if it needs to be explained how, yeah even though Touya and Shigaraki talk about society and heroes failing and all that, "society" isn't their biggest obstacle. Society isn't what is holding back the main 3 villains from salvation. And "fixing society" isn't the answer to saving those three either. That much is also clear.

So idk, I'm open to it being because of perspective not focusing there. I can definitely see that. I can definitely see a topic that is swept under the rug in the greater public--like in big cities and stuff. But at the same time--this is a story with multiple perspectives and the capability of showing them. So I am personally more inclined to think it's just unbalanced, a flaw. Which is okay. For me it's not a make or break type of thing. I just agree with the criticisms of how it's been handled.

[billys-pretty-babe]

Hi Em 💙

I want you to know that the stories you create are beautiful, really. You deserve much more recognition, you really have a talent for writing : not only on the technical level (grammar, plot build up, causes and consequences of each action on the plot, etc), but also on the ... um... empathetic (?) level as well. (I'm not sure I've phrased that correctly but I think you know what I mean). I mean, when reading your stories, we can all feel the empathy and compassion you put into your writing for your characters. It's beautiful, really.

But please, don't force yourself to write when you are too tired, busy or just don't feel like it. I know you feel guilty about not posting stories every week, please don't set such an inflexible pace for yourself.

I don't want to assume anything, so if this makes you uncomfortable in any way please let me know or feel free to ignore this :

Maybe writing is a form of therapy for you, and maybe that's why you like writing fics so much. If that's the case, I totally understand your inclination to want to write that much. I often find myself eventually turning a healthy coping mechanism or hobby into an obligation by setting very harsh expectations for myself, without actually meaning to. I know what it's like not to see your limits when it comes to work or passions/hobbies. I deal with the same thing too. So maybe I'm hardly in a position to give advice on that... But I still need you to know that you don't have to feel guilty for not being as active on your blog as you would like. I know, easier said than done...

I know it's hard to ignore the feelings of guilt or inadequacy that one might feel in this kind of case. But those feelings, while real, don't define your worth, believe me. They don't.

You have the right to rest, to take time for yourself, and to do something other than writing if you feel like it.

Please don't be so hard on yourself, please don't set such harsh expectations for you, let yourself work and enjoy things at your own pace.

All your readers love your stories, me first. When I see a notification from your blog I jump on it because I know in advance that I'm going to like it. But you are more important than our reading desires. Your rest and well-being are a million times more important. Please don't apologize if you haven't been posting as much as you used to, it's totally normal Em. I promise. 💙

Please take care of yourself. 🤍

Sending you lots of hugs 🫂❤️

I've read this a few times to figure out how I was going to respond and honestly there are no amounts of words that can ever express how much I appreciate you and everyone that reads anything I put out. I use fic writing as a distraction from the real world and unfortunately there are days where I'm drained but I still feel like I have to write as a way for me to cope and essentially heal from what I went through as a child up until I was able to leave my home for college.

At times I have to remember that I am in fact human and I can't always pump out fics like I would like to but at the end of the day, I also know that these make people's days better. I use these as an escape because it lets me forget everything and focus on giving everyone a happy ending.

Thank you for making me feel seen 💜

[thehomothings]

Analysis of Kite's conflicting moralities, relationship with death, and the toll reincarnation may take on one's psyche

So, today I decided to compile all the thoughts I have had about Kite's interesting worldview since the first time I saw him into one post, mostly for my own sake, really. If you're familiar with the few posts I've made, you know it's gonna be a mess, but hopefully a comprehensible mess.

A heads up, this is going to be spoiler-heavy, and very much deal with subjects of death and dying as a whole. Also, some of these conclusions are drawn from my own experiences and close brushes with death, I'm not going to go into much detail but it might get personal and definitely dark. I'm not even sure if I can call this a meta-analysis, and I'm obviously no expert, so mayhaps take all of this with a grain of salt.

Been getting into drawing lately, and during the more simple and mindless part of the painstaking process of dotting every single star in this, I let my thoughts wander through the latest part of the fic I'm writing, and I got a better grasp on what exactly made Kite such an elusive character to me.

I'm not quite sure why I got so attached to Kite. Perhaps it was the air of tragedy surrounding him, how despite his sordid past he remained still open and gentle even if outlined by a healthy dose of cynicism.

But sometimes, I think it's the fact that he is so paradoxical. He's brave, yet fears death to such a degree that creates a whole Nen ability around it, is a pacifist yet will not hesitate to spill blood for his own sake or someone else's. Despite the many ultimatums and warnings of 'I will not protect you', he gave his arm and then his life to save Gon and Killua. He approaches each hunt and battle with a clear plan of action in mind, but his Hatsu takes the form of a roulette that gives him random weapons which are never what he wants, but what he seems to need for that exact situation, which he cannot dispel without using. When he draws a weapon, the decision is locked in and his or his opponent's fate is sealed. That's why each time he dubbs his weapon a bad roll. Every time he has to gamble, he sees himself as having run out of luck. When it comes to having to choose between himself and somebody else...well, there had never been a choice. In fact his aversion to using it may feed into its sheer power that we, unfortunately, saw too little of.

Let's go over his very first appearance when he saves Gon from the mother Foxbear.

It's not hard to see the strain searching for Ging has put on him; he's rash, prone to anger and punching a child for daring to get into trouble. In his mind, he's failing at his most important task, has not yet earned the right to call himself a hunter despite being in possession of his very own hunter license.

After killing the mother Foxbear and raging about having done so, he says this interesting line:

So yes, he finds killing for any reason rather irksome as most would do, yet I think something deeper caused him to absolutely lose it in this scene:

He had not been aware of Gon's identity, and despite being an animal lover and a naturalist, he made a choice to save the human instead of allowing nature to run its course. In fact, he says: 'No beast that harms a human must be allowed to live.'

How does one weight one life against another? How is the worth of it determined? The value of life... an impossible choice he's faced with and a choice which he seems to regret to some degree.

The Foxbear cub.

Here, he's speaking from experience, a tangible loss he has felt himself, and a hard and bitter life he does not want to impose on the cub.

His backstory is exclusive to the 2011 anime adaptation but there are hints alluding to it in the manga, for example, the fact that he does not seem to know his birthplace, or:

The choice of words is chilling.

Reading between the lines, one could draw the conclusion that he is an orphan. Something supporting this hypothesis is how he visibly deflates after Gon tells him his parents have (presumably) died.

So we see he is willing to go against his own moral code of not killing as to not doom another living being to the life he led, a lonely, hopeless existence that could barely be called one. He saw it best to put down the cub rather than leave it to die a painful, slow death.

The reason Kite himself isn't as cynical and cold-hearted as one would be after witnessing cruelty in its rawest form is those small crumbs of human kindness which he may have found in Ging.

It was not only a chance at an honorable life being Ging's apprentice gave him, but it also 'saved' him from being broken and twisted into what he hated and worst of all, death.

If we take that one minute of backstory as canon to his character-which I find myself inclined to do- these quirks of his make much more sense. He lived on the run. He lived on the knife's edge between giving up or pushing forwards. He lived as so a wrong move could be the difference between survival and the end.

Between rock and a hard place creates a mentality of black and white, absolute good or extreme evil, this or that. Except in reality, it's much harder than that. Deciding who to save and who to strike down is a heavy burden to bear.

It's almost easy to see how struggling to keep surviving could lend itself to a crippling fear of death and subsequently developing a Nen ability which once more goes against his own moral code in order to give himself a second chance...yet something about it strikes me as unlikely when I look at it this way.

Living life knowing it could end at any moment has the opposite effect, at least for me it did. One comes to accept that it is fleeting and while not eager to let it go, when death eventually and inevitably does come, there is no fighting it.

Especially when there is no hope that tomorrow will be a better day than this one.

Frequent near-death experiences numb one's fear in a way, even if it drives them to take precautions that render it unlikely to happen again and results in c-PTSD, but still, it does. It sparks a certain nihilistic view of 'if it all can end so easily, then what's the point of it all?'

Unless there are things to live for, a sure promise of a better future, and Ging gave Kite that. When he faced the threat of losing his second chance at life:

Really, what else could lead someone to develop the ability of 'the hell I'm going to die like this'?

I think a separate event, an even more brutal near-death experience that almost cost him his life as the hunter he so strived to be set him off to develop the secret roll of Crazy Slots, what I call Roll No.0, Ars moriendi. Unlike other weapons, it cannot come up in random and is directly summoned by him, or better said, summon by his overwhelming will to keep going and hopelessness of fighting a losing battle. I don't believe roll No.3 was the weapon that allowed him to reincarnate. I've named that one Wand of Fortune, a sort of armor instead of an offensive weapon since I find it hard to believe Kite, a Conjurer, would not focus on defences as well, and I will go into both mechanisms of these weapons hopefully in his backstory.

Despite knowing this battle to be a pointless one and being acutely aware of his soon to be demise, he did not immediately draw Ars moriendi, no, he stayed back and fought for the sake of the boys, kept Neferpitou occupied until they could reach safety. We can see evidence of this in the aftermath of the battle that seemed to have gone on until dawn, a torn apart landscape only signaling a fraction of the devastation that was Kite's power unleashed. It still wasn't enough.

In the anime sub I watched, when Gon apologizes to Ging about Kite's death, Ging said a sentence that infuriated me, because it belittled the utter suffering of the NGL trio.

"He would not die in your place." (No screenshot, sorry)

And I remember practically shouting at the screen, screaming 'how could you possibly say that? Of course he did. He absolutely did die in their place. How could you not know your own apprentice? Why-'

It was only last night that it hit me why Ging would say that.

Once upon a time, maybe Kite would not have given his life for anybody under any circumstances, even if he had a way out of it all. He would still need to die to come back to life.

His Thanatophobia could be attributed to the (possibly untreated) PTSD of the near-death experience in his later life, being so certain of dying that finding himself alive afterwards drove him to never want to go through that again. He quieted his fear by creating a sort of a loophole, that even if he lost the battle he would remain. Ging remembered that, but as evidence shows, something changed. Maybe he healed a bit, perhaps growing up dulled his fear to a certain degree, but eventually when it came down to his life or another's, he didn't choose himself.

Now, I can hear you saying 'but he didn't die, so what are you going on about??' And so I reply: Yes, he is alive, but he did die. He experienced that painful, horrible moment of staring death in the eyes and thinking 'This is it, this is the end', went through the actual process of having his soul removed from his body. And that moment stretches into infinity, ten lifetimes condensed into the mere seconds before oblivion.

Dying isn't so hard if one stays dead.

It's not so easy to open one's eyes and find oneself alive again after that, no matter how much that is the heart's desire. It's difficult, nigh-impossible to reconcile with life and walk amongst the living when everything had been so final, when death had been accepted to its fullest.

So Kite awakens, the twin of Meruem and back from the dead, his mind and identity both intact and fractured. In that he is Kite is no mistaking, yet he is not the same gentle pacifist whose first reaction upon sensing a monster's aura was to shield two kids from it at the cost of his arm.

I don't think many of you are familiar with Zoroastrian ideology, but Togashi is known for loving his religious imagery, and it's not only Christianism he derives inspiration from (evidence of which can be seen all over Kite's character and resurrection).

In Zurvanism-a branch of Zoroastrianism- there is talk of the twin spirits: Ahura Mazda -epitome of all that is good- and Ahriman -epitome of all that is evil-, the parent god Zurvin decides that the firstborn may rule in order to bring "heaven, hell, and everything in between."

Upon becoming aware of this fact, Ahriman forcibly tears through the womb to emerge first. Sounding familiar yet?

Zurvan relents to this turn of events only on one condition: Ahriman is given kingship for 9000 years, and then Ahura Mazda may rule for eternity.

Meruem ruled for 40 days, his death leaving the throne vacant for ant Kite, wearing a dead girl's face and seeming to be brewing some nefarious plan. No more is there any sign of that unrelenting pacifism and the sanctity of life he held so high, losing his own may have only served to show him how meaningless the pain and suffering he went through had been, dying only to be reborn as a member of the species that killed him. It may be that he has no desire to rule over the remaining Chimera ants or create an army of his own-

Yet I dread to think what a broken mind possessing limitless power might do to the world.

And that's it. If you made it this far, thank you for reading! If you found it interesting, stay tuned, as I think a lot and I will make it your problem.

[ravysu]

Sannin headcanons and thoughts

The last thing I would like to post for the sannin week. It is still 24.04 here! :D @sannin-central

This is long. Spoiler alert. Mostly Orochimaru, some Tsunade, a little of Jiraiya (because his story is pretty clear and spoken and idk what I can add). Also I recommend to read this meta about Orochimaru, it has influenced me a lot and has some good points. Sorry for any posible grammar mistakes. Also I really should put here a lot of references to the manga or anime but it was something that was piling up for a year and I'm soooooooo lazy. After all, those are just headcanons. Also: Im not excusing Oro's bad stuff here, Im trying to understand the reasons.

Ive already posted some hcs, here, here and here.

1. First if all, the chronology pic of sannin lifetime based on the info i found on naruto wiki and also some statements about wars from this post. It was tough considering what a mess naruto’s chronology is.

2. Sannin story shows what it cost to be a legend. They're like Team 7 but more realistic. Tsunade literally carried the war but left with nothing and developed a ptsd and have problems to just live on. Also anger control issues. I think she can be pretty bossy and stubborn which is not always nice. Jiraiya is the hero of the day but also very idealistic and can ignore some important details in the real word whether its the fight (he always injured during flashbacks maybe because each time he took too much to handle and on the one hand it's heroistic but on the other is a mistake that can lead your team to situations like in that Iwa cave) or your friends issues (I bet he saw what's going on but thought it's fine until Oro actually got red handed and left). He lives in his world and may have problems to get out to see it through someone else's shoes. As for Orochimaru, it seems like he was a normal guy for 20+ years (I mean, he didn't do crazy criminal shit and had something good in him and it was stated somewhere that it was his teammates influence. It is obvious they considered him as a friend, I don't thinks it was for nothing) but we mostly know his darkest side. Despite being a moster he is a human that have empathy and some ordinary human traits (man just decorates every bit of an environment he is in lol).

3. Tsunade was the leader of team Hiruzen.

4. Tsunade sometimes hit Jiraiya for some stupid things he did or said but never touches Orochimaru even if he did something same. Jiraiya complained about it once and almost got another hit.

5. Jiraiya had problematic parents that didn't care about him much and a lot of time he was wandering in the streets.

6. Judging by the look of Oro bangs and hair, he sometimes cut it off. A stress relief huh? And the fact that he doesn't do it now in Boruto..

7. It was shown that Tsunade and Orochimaru was acknowledged before they become a team. Maybe they did just before, or maybe some longer time before. I prefer the second option and hc that they met because both had no real friends - Orochimaru seemed weird and scary for everyone and Tsunade was Senju so everyone wanted to hang out with her but didn't really care. They weren't seen as what they were - people put the labels on them. But they didn't care about each other's labels and actually saw each other in true lights.

8. Tsunade knew it was an accident and it's not right but still she blamed Orochimaru for Nawaki's death for some time. It was something that seriously damaged their friendship and the team. Orochimaru was mad but also guilty, after all, he was responsible at least as a shinobi since Nawaki was under his watch. So he started to act cold and emotionless and was trying to distance himself from his teammates.

9. Jiraiya was in Ame while Dan died.

10. The whole his orphans mission was a bit irresponsible tbh. They already fought Hanzo and as he stated the conflict between Konoha and Ame is going to an end with Konoha's win. It's weird to stay here for three years in the middle of the war while there were other lands to fight. He left his teammates for some idea. Maybe that caused another crack in their team friendship.

11. If Tsunade would have find a way to live on with her trauma and follow the will of fire and stuff it would affect Orochimaru as well just as her grief affected him. It's like he would get an example that you can live on with this pain. So death isn't above human capability and we are not just the slaves of mortality (sounds stupid but i dont know how else to describe sorry). But as we know what he actually saw is that it broke her crucially to the point she couldnt be herself again. And so the death is above everything.

12. Oro wasn’t just acting as a cold pragmatic bitch in that cave but also tried to save Tsunade. Jiraiya knew it and that’s why he showed this sign to him like "I see what youre doing here" and that stunned Oro because he would prefer to look rather like a cold pragmatic bitch hehe

13. Just a thought. People in the village probably treated Oro as a foreigner or just wouldnt accept him because he looked so differently and had a weird attitude. That's why he sometimes didn't feel that Konoha is his home. After the wars where people were treated as means and tools, even the children, he himself developed this view on people - he dehumanized them and used as the means to his goals, just as his village did. Funny thing some people were straightly dehumanizing him too like Ibiki thought that he was a demon (tho he was a child). And he probably weren't the only one. Anyways the point is that it's logical that Orochimaru don't care about anybody but some few people, he's the product of his era. He's like Naruto that would chose the hatred way. But naruto had some good and understanding people around him and.. Orochimaru had them too, but match how Iruka treated Naruto and this Hiruzen's "I sAw tHe mAliCe in This cHiLd fRoM tHe BegGinNinG". And oro didn't even have a big ass evil fox in him. sry i hate hiruzen

ANYWAYS the moral of the story is not "go criminal if they hurt you" but always treat people like people. Waving my hand to Kant.

14. The reason why Orochimaru didn't pick some good morals to stick with through the hard times no matter what (like, idk, Jiraiya or Naruto) is because 1) I think he is/was pretty depending on people around him 2) the war fucked him and his friends up too much (Nawaki incident + Tsunade) 3) twisted addictions (though I don't think he's that sadistic, we never saw him torturing randoms just for fun, it was always some science experimental shit. He tends to get fun out of cruelty only when it's personal) that maybe developed as a way to sublimate anger and sadness caused by his parents loss (that's what they share with sasuke - unlicke naruto, they knew their parents and it's other kind of pain. Sasuke developed a revenge issue and Orochimaru - cruelty pleasure which... is kinda the same but less epic and more occasional lol).

15. Speaking of that, Orochimaru cared for Sasuke because he saw himself in him.

16. Oro hold grudges against Hiruzen for not choosing him to be Hokage not only because he was ambitious and/or egoistic, but also because Hiruzen was some kind of a father figure for him and his approval was important tho i doubt he was aware of that. He also probably could tell that Hiruzen was suspicios about him when he was a child and that led to many conflicts and was hurting as well.

17. Tsunade knew things weren't pretty with Orochimaru after the wars but she never expected them to be this bad. During the week that she was given in her arc she thought not only about how much she wants to see Nawaki and Dan again despite how wrong would it be but also was trying to bury all the good memories she had left of Orochimaru so it would be easier to kill him.

18. She poisoned Jiraiya exactly because she knew he would not let her do it. Jiraiya was always hesitant to kill and inclined to forgiveness, while Tsunade, as mentioned by Orochimaru, could be merciless (so much so that he was not surprised when Kabuto suggested that she wanted to use Jira for Edo Tensei).

19. That was one of her traits that scared Jiraiya and fascinated Orochimaru.

20. Remember how Oro grabbed Jiraiya's neck when the latter was trying to cover with hair jutsu? On the snake, in Tsnade's arc. Orochimaru could have easily kill Jiraiya by pulling the sword out of the mouth (arteries are right there) but he didn't. As well as he could kill Tsunade when she was still shaking - just aim for the neck or the heart. Instead, he just injured her lung and kicked her which is not a big deal for the kind of shinoby like her at all.. Also he helped Anko not accidentally kill herself but it would be way much profitable to let her do it. "Orochimaru has no feelings".

21. The reason he suddenly wanted to kill Tsunade instead of forcing her to heal his arms as it was planned (which is weird since it will not going to get him heals and he kinda said that he wouldn't want to kill her just minutes ago) is that not only she refused to help him (he thought he could work it out) but she also prefered the village over him (from his point of view). Out if everyone she was the closest to being able to understand him since the village caused her painful losses too but nevertheless she agreed to be on it's side.

22. He wasn't fighting her back in the end partly because he thought he deserved that. Somewhere deep inside hahah.

23. Tsunade got a fear to develop deep bonds so they probably weren't very close with Shizune (also the way she knocked her down in this hotel.. oh).

24. Orochimaru will be here when she'll die.

25. Orochimaru's eng dub to Tsunade: "I often wondered what it would be like to ring that pretty neck yours". No comments.

26. Orochimaru is either bi/pan or ace. Anything or nothing lmao

27. Hiruzen knew about at least some of the Oro’s illegal experiments and was okay just as he was okay with the Foundation all the time. Because it’s useful. Then he has discovered he went too far OR he knew everything and oro just became too inconvenient because of his methods. The way Orochimaru tells Sasuke about reasons they are well treated as the criminals is based on in his experience with Hiruzen.

28. As you may know the lyrics in Orochimaru’s music theme goes “don’t talk with the silence of the heart”. It was taken from one Indian song that also had lines like “don’t question life too much”, ”pain arose somewhere in the chest”, “don’t speak to the wounds of the heart”. Though I’m not sure 100% because I was translating it with some hindi dictionary with like zero knowledge of hindi

29. I like to think that this “silence of the heart” theme and the fact that he called his village a hidden sound village are somehow connected. The hidden sound is the possible explanation of all things waiting to be listened to but the truth is silent and you know it deep in your heart and it bothers you. The world is silent just like the life is meaningless but people can only hear. *Sigh* anyways

30. Orochimaru���s journey is the one about accepting death. When he saw Karin released her chains while was trying to get to Sasuke he understood that the death is a part of human’s strength.

Can’t wait to feel that everything I wrote is wrong or not enough or stupid and obvious lol. Anyways, it’s something that I wanted to share until I move to some other fandom.

[captnjacksparrow]

So I'm aware of Haku loving Zabuza. But was Zabuza written to reciprocate that same love? Because if I'm remembering correctly, Haku loved Z romantically.

I'll be honest their relationship made me uncomfortable and it was also pretty toxic since Z was just using Haku. I wish Haku had a happier ending.

I also wish that people didn't ship a fucking 15 year old with some dude in his 20s/early 30s that treated him poorly. 🤢🤮

Alright, before Answering this...... I must say.... 

I AM NOT SHIPPING THIS COUPLE.... 

[[Disclaimer: Pedophilic Warning... If you are not comfortable with Haku and Zabuza content... Please don't read this post.]]

So... Even though I don't ship them, their relationship seemed 'odd' for sure... But it's not uncomfortable or disgusting, atleast for me, unlike many Naruto fans and I'll say why. And I thoroughly understand why they feel that way.

I'll be honest their relationship made me uncomfortable and it was also pretty toxic since Z was just using Haku.

I really don't think Z mistreated Haku or used him like a tool. It has been implied few times.

First off..

Zabuza's nickname was 'Demon' because he killed 100's of his fellow classmates to graduate the Hidden Mist Exam. And Zabuza said, "That sure was Fun".....

Now, a person who killed other people for fun immediately started to tear up after Naruto tapped into his heart and stirred up his real feelings. I don't think he could cry if his feelings weren't real.

Here he finally agrees, "A Shinobi is still a human... We many not be able to become emotion-less tools... I've lost"....

So, he is accepting the fact that he had emotions and feelings all along...

This is where Zabuza reveals the true motivations of Haku that he never wanted to hurt Naruto or Sasuke. Well, if Zabuza just used him as a tool without understanding Haku's feelings... how could he know how Haku felt about these boys????

So, Zabuza is very aware of how Haku behaves and what he feels.

And finally, to get a perfect closure....

Kakashi himself openly conveyed the real feelings of Z to Haku, "He didn't just view you as a Tool"....

And Narrative-wise, if Haku died as someone without any reciprocation of the Feelings.... it won't do any justice to his death. In this series, people dying together were usually shown with mutual feelings all the time. Say, Minato and Kushina??? They both died protecting their Son and the Village. They both shared similar feelings. Same case with Fugaku and Mikoto.

So, I don't think Zabuza just used him as a Tool even though that's how he wants to project himself to be.

So I'm aware of Haku loving Zabuza. But was Zabuza written to reciprocate that same love? Because if I'm remembering correctly, Haku loved Z romantically.

I think it's very difficult to predict how exactly Z felt about Haku. But I'm inclined to think Zabuza loved Haku in some way. Whether it's romantic or not.... That's where the ambiguousness lies. And this panel actually screams, 'romantic' or 'unusual'.....

Here both Zabuza's and Haku's lips were drawn in a certain angle to touch implicitly.... Like they are not actually kissing.... But it was implied to be. Usually people don't pay attention to such panels, since most of them were too young to even have such visual perception and hence it's easily ignored. But this is definitely not an angle to draw, if the author just wants their relationship to be purely platonic. I checked the Anime version and they too portrayed this scene suggestively.

And their relationship is a clear parallel to the bond of SNS and that's what Kishimoto wanted to convey in the very first Arc of the series. That is, just like how the bond between Haku and Zabuza is Unusual... Naruto and Sasuke also shares the same Unuusual bond between them.

With Haku being a clear parallel to Sasuke.... they both gave up their life for Z and N respectively. And Z and N being so proud or Tsundere for some reason unknown, they couldn't reveal what they felt all along. And much much later, Naruto revealed in VoTE1 that how he felt about Sasuke all along when he was young....

"I was happy... From first glance, I wanted to know you..."

And I think this panel wanted to convey the true feelings of Zabuza. But anyways, whether it is romantic or not... it's too vague to predict but I believe it must be bordered on Romantic feelings because of that 'weird' angle to show an implicit kiss. And also it was 'Snowing' in this scene. Snow usually represents Love and Purity....

Not to mention, THEY DIED TOGETHER.... Like I said in many posts, Double suicide (Shinju) is a concept which allows two lovers to unite together atleast in the afterlife... And Zabuza is hinting that he wants to go the same place as Haku...

This is a total foreshadowing of Naruto’s Promise under the bridge.

Considering all these facts... I believe some form of love is reciprocated. That's for sure. It's not one-sided.

I also wish that people didn't ship a fucking 15 year old with some dude in his 20s/early 30s that treated him poorly. 🤢🤮

I understand why you feel this way., Anon...

But can I say I just got used to this kind of story to the point of becoming immune to it??? Again, I am not justifying or anything. This relationship is very similar to the one where a 12 year old Natalie Portman had a crush on a 30+ year old man in a movie called Leon: The Professional.

And this is a very common theme in Chinese Novels as well. Where a student falls in love with their Master. I've read atleast 15 Chinese Novels so far and this theme was a regular in atleast 6 of those.

And I decided to dig deeper as to why this is such a common theme and was widely accepted by their audience. And why Kishimoto also tried to employ this theme?? I wasn't weirded out, tbh but was just curious... Because my culture also has old literatures based on such themes.

And I found this interesting article... [Link]... It’s a good one... And I suspect that Sasuke’s appearance might have been inspired from Japanese Kabuki actors who has this Androgynous looks with a manly character ... (I mean they look appealing to both men and women alike)... This article somehow gave me that vibe because Kishi created Sasuke as a manly character but gave him an heroine status and was referenced with femininity many times.

But anyways,

This article was all about Homosexual Samurai Love in Edo Japan [1603AD-1867AD]. And I'm just going to reiterate the important parts here.

"Nanshoku (男色, literally “male colors”) While nanshoku as a term has been used to refer to male homosexuality (for example in works like Nanshoku Okagami by Ihara Saikaku, translated into English as The Great Mirror of Male Love) between a older man and a young boy, the origin of the term is found in religion. Nanshoku was imported from China into Japan from monks who had studied Buddhism in China, and it referred to a relationship between two monks. In nanshoku, a younger, usually pre-pubescent, monk (called chigo) would come to be under the wing of an older monk (called nenja).

One point favoring nanshoku was the absence of women. During war periods, samurai would be out on the road fighting without many women in sight. Even with the peace of the 1600s, samurai tended to be concentrated in castle cities, where the opposite sex was a rare sight.

A second point was that nanshoku went along very well with some of the concepts and ideals of the samurai life. In a very strict hierarchical world, where younger members would obey and serve older members while being educated and supported in exchange, a relationship between an older samurai and a young samurai would instantly appear advantageous to both. The younger samurai would receive education and abide by the centuries-old values of respect to the elderly and feudal deference, while the older samurai would receive unquestionable loyalty (also in honor-related quests, like duels and fights)… and some other extra favors."

So, I am not trying to justify this ship or anything... Am just presenting the facts here... So, this kind of Haku and Zabuza relationship was very common in the feudal Japan and this culture was imported from China. And that's why I believe I found lots of Novels with stories based on Ancient Era has this kind of themes. Whereas the Novels based on Modern Time Period has nothing like this. They were all portrayed according to the modern standards.

I must appreciate Kishimoto for handling such a bold theme in a much refined way where not many people will find this extremely awkward and they continue to watch the series without even realizing it... because it's so subtle and layered.

And Now I know why he went with a Mid-Aged man and Young Boy dynamics. Because, if only Haku acted around like this with another boy of his same age, then it would give off the obvious homosexual vibes.

But somehow Kishimoto wanted to create a parallel bond which should resemble Naruto and Sasuke in a subtle way as possible. And that's why he went with this couple with such an age difference where only perceptive viewers can find the hidden meaning behind his choice. It's kind of like a foreshadowing for the viewers... that is, "This is the kind of bond you are going to see between Naruto and Sasuke... (an indirect indication of Homosexual feelings)... If you pick up the hints, then you can really understand why Naruto and Sasuke behave 'weird'... Or Else, all you will get is the shallow understanding of their bond and say things like Shikamaru was Naruto’s best friend... And that’s why Chapter 3 'Accidental' Kiss was intentional from Kishimoto's part.. LOL"....

That's why I don't demonize the people who ship them even though I don't ship this couple actively... Because the author wrote both of them in a Romantic way... And such dynamics really existed few centuries ago and even practiced as a cultural thing. 

[p-redux]

I am super confused at why there is so much infighting in the Outlander tumblr world. Is it because people have different opinions about Sam and Cait relationship or what is it exactly? It's very weird...

Oh, Anon...how much time do you have? Actually, it's me, I don't have the time, energy, or inclination to give you a detailed answer. This fandom is exhausting. So, let me try to give you some history but I can't promise it will be comprehensive.

Outlander has different groups of fans and within those groups, there are subgroups. These are the groups I can think of off the top of my head: original Outlander book fans, Outlander TV show fans, Outlander book and TV show fans, Wishful Shippers, Lalalala head in the clouds everything is fine Shippers, Extreme Shippers, Tinhat Shippers, Money Grubbing Shippers, Pretend Shippers with ulterior motives, Shippers with expendable incomes, mostly retirees, Shipper Sympathizers, Non-Shippers, Truthers, NSTs (Non-Shipper Truthers), Mean Girls, Haters, Trolls, Cait onlys, Sam onlys, Tobias onlys, Rik onlys, etc.

The main fighting has always been between SamCait Shippers and their subgroups, and ANYONE who accepted the TRUTH/REALITY, that there is no real SamCait.

Back in the day it was ALL of the Shippers and their subgroups against ME because I was the first to post insider source info confirming Sam and Cait weren't dating in real life. After that, I became persona non grata and there was a relentless witchhunt against me conducted by all the shippers. Luckily as time went by and as it became CLEAR I had been telling the truth, more and more people were willing to speak out publicly against shippers and their attacks on anyone who got in the way of the ship. Prior to that, they wouldn't do so publicly, because they had seen the level of daily harassment I received, and they were understandably afraid.

Extreme Shippers still like to propagate the legend of OmniPurv, that I am every account and I am everywhere. But the reality is that there are now MANY people who are fed up with Extreme Shippers' bad behavior, and they're no longer afraid to speak out.

As I said in a previous post, the current Sam and Cait haters are mostly disgruntled ex-shippers or shipper sympathizers, and the few existing shippers ban together with them. Because the mean girls have support from ex-shippers and current shippers, the natural enemy is still me and other non-shippers, hence fighting continues. Also, mean girls like to provoke fights just for shits and giggles, they're always fanning the flames--they seem to get some sick thrill from it.

So, the fight is STILL between shippers and non-shippers, but as is human nature, familiarity breeds contempt, and there is the inevitable INFIGHTING within each main group.

Shippers have had fights among themselves, with even more subgroups forming. The great shipper diaspora occurred years ago when the ex-shipper queen, Jess finally figured out Puffy was a faux shipper with ulterior motives and banned her from the shipdom. Puffy took her lackey, Amanda and they descended to Hades to a life of crime, which is extremely reckless, given that Amanda works for a government agency and Puffy gave herself away. But I digress... 

On the non-shipper side, we also had our infighting, mainly due to one person, but most non-shippers figured out what was what, and that infighting is over. It's been peaceful on this side ever since certain people got some sense served to them and they left us alone.

Soooo, Anon, I guess that was my attempt at "long story short," which for me is usually "long story longer" 😅. I'm sure I missed some stuff, but, oh well.

Hope that explained a few things and was helpful in understanding some of the dynamics on Tumblr. Thanks for stopping by, Anon! And welcome to the shitshow!

[peterrparrkerr]

So I was looking through my docs and I found the original story for Careful, He Bites and He Bites series.

I got most of the way finished with it when I decided to take a different direction. But I figured I'd post this anyway for fun!

*-*

Tony still didn't like the thought of them being in the compound. But there was nothing he could do to get them out. It's not like he owns the building or anything.

It all started with Steve and his long lost best friend. After Steve and Natasha were attacked by the Winter Soldier -who was said best friend from 70 years ago- a manhunt ensued.

Tony stayed out of it. If Steve wanted to risk his life for the Winter Soldier, he could.

What Tony didn't expect was for Steve to actually find Bucky. Or bring along someone else.

Tony tried to steer clear of them. He let Banner and Steve and Natasha and whoever the fuck else handle the two supersoldiers currently living in the basement.

That is until someone came up from said basement with a nasty bite. The agent died before Banner found an anti-venom.

Thats when Tony decides to get involved. He doesn't know much about anti-venoms or biology, but he's a scientist and an inventor.

His first trip down to the basement is like stepping into a horror movie. The lights are dim, and there's soft classical music playing on a record Steve brought down.

There are two cells, built strong enough to keep Banner in. In the left, was the Winter Soldier. He was sitting on the floor, back to the wall, one leg stretched out in front of him, and the other bent to support his elbow.

His steely blue eyes flickered up to Tony and Banner, then drifted to Steve, who was smiling at him.

The cage to the right made Tony shiver. The right had spiderwebs on the ceiling, connected to the walls and bars. He could faintly make out the other super soldier laying on the webs like one would a hammock.

Neither soldier moved.

"Hey, Buck," Steve greeted, walking right up to the cage. "Wanted to introduce you to a friend of mine."

Bucky's eyes move from Steve to Tony silently. It makes Tony want to turn around and run back upstairs.

"This is Tony Stark."

Tony manages to dip his chin in a single nod.

"I know who he is," Bucky said, turning his attention back to Steve. "You think he can get rid of it?"

Tony wonders if 'it' is the other on the cage beside him. But he doesn't say anything.

"No, Tony's here to see the kid," Steve confessed. "But I've been talking with someone from Wakanda who said she'd be willing to take a look."

Tony understands now. The coding HYDRA had tortured into Bucky's head. Trigger words to bring the assassin to the surface. Steve had been talking with Princess Shuri.

"How long?" Bucky asked. Tony doesn't listen to Steve's reply, because there's movement coming from the other cell.

Tony steps a bit to the side as the other -hes barely a teenager- makes his way out of the sanctum of his webs.

He's wearing the same outfit as Bucky, tan and baggy with a zipper on the front. Hes small, and moves with all the grace of a spider who knows his way around a web.

He doesn't take his eyes off Tony as he crawls across the ceiling. Banner says something under his breath that sounds frightened and Tony's inclined to agree with him.

The boy drops his feet until he's hanging by just his fingers, and then he -somehow- lets go of the ceiling and lands on silent feet to the floor.

"Вы помните доктора Бэннера?" (Do you remember Dr. Banner?) Bucky spoke in perfect Russian.

Tony watched wide brown eyes flicker to Banner, then return to Tony. Its eery. Its saying something when Tony Stark feels uncomfortable with the attention.

"кто он?" (Who is he?) The boy asked, tilting his head slowly to the side. He does so chin first, making him seem less human and more demonic horror movie villain.

"Тони Старк.  Железный человек," (Tony Stark. The Ironman)

Whatever Bucky responds with has the boy smiling, and Tony finally gets a decent look at a pair of finely pointed fangs.

"Он симпатичный," (He's pretty) he responds.

Bucky rolls his eyes. "His name is Peter," he says, finally looking at Tony. "Don't get too close, he bites."

Peter grins before pressing against the bars of the cage, arms resting through the slats between.

"You ruin my fun, Winter," Peter hums, and Tony wasn't sure why he was expecting the boy to have a Russian or German accent. He sounded like Bucky and Steve. New Yorker.

Those dark brown eyes move back to Tony, bright with mischief.

"You're here to see me?" He asked, the picture of innocence, even as he licks at his teeth, tongue rolling over the two points of his fangs.

They protrude just enough to be noticeable, but they're small, dainty and unassuming. Tony knew not to underestimate their punch.

"You put one of my guys in the ground," Tony said after clearing his throat.

Instantly, the smile dropped, and all innocence left the boy, leaving him looking cold and dangerous.

"Oh you can't be upset about that, Mr. Stark," Peter sighs, and Tony tries very hard to ignore how Peter calling him Mr. Stark does things to him.

But the boy's eyes are shining in amusement. Tony clears his throat.

"I can, actually," Tony said. "I'd like to get a few samples from you, run a few tests."

"Они такие же, как HYDRA," (they're just like HYDRA) Peter sneers, features darkening as he spins around, turning his back to Tony and Banner.

"ты убил одного из них," (you did kill one of them) Bucky responds. "что вы ожидали?" (What did you expect?)

Peter doesn't respond, just climbs the wall -cause thats normal- and disappears into his webbed cocoon.

"What was that about?" Banner asked, making his way to Bucky's side of the room quickly.

Bucky sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair.

"HYDRA isn't a nice place for people like Peter," was all he said.

Tony sighed and glanced at Banner. Silent communication was their thing, and it wasn't long before they were both on the same page.

If they couldn't run tests and get an anti-venom, they'd have to just remove the venom entirely.

It took three days of Tony and Banner researching the surgical procedure of removing venomous glands from snakes and spiders. Tony did some digging on tonsil removal -they still didn't know where the glands were, but between the two of them, Tony was confident they could perform the surgery successfully.

Two days before the surgery, Bucky was taken to Wakanda to undergo his own corrective surgery of sorts.

Peter had a tantrum.

Tony could hear Peter all the way from his lab, and after an hour he finally dropped what he was doing and stormed down stairs.

Peter was glaring, his eyes were shining with unshed tears and his arms were bleeding from self inflicted bite marks.

"Bring him back," Peter demanded, voice raw from the shouting and threatening. "Bring him back, right now!"

"Thats not going to happen, Peter," Tony said, shaking his head. Peter slammed his palm against the metal bars on a shout that nearly made Tony take a step back.

Peter spun around, fisting at his hair. Tony frowned at how Peter paced the cage, agitated and angry.

"Where did you take him."

"Steve took him to Wakanda-"

"Dont fucking lie to me," Peter snapped, spinning back around to face him. His upper lip was pulled back in a snarl, showing off glinting fangs. He snapped his teeth together once before pacing again.

"I'm not lying," Tony said, wincing when Peter bit into the meat of his own thumb.

"Bring him back."

"Hes already on a plane," Tony sighed. "This is good for him, Peter. He needs this."

Peter bit down on his hand again. Tony sighed. "You're going to hurt yourself."

"I'll heal," Peter growled. "I want Winter."

"He'll come back when his mind is free from whatever it is HYDRA did to him."

Peter sets his jaw and glares.

[mutant-chain-reaction]

Love Language Fic -- Part 1

Felt like writing a little something based off of my Love Language Headcanon post for the 2k3 turtles. The fic itself is pretty general and focuses on platonic feelings, staring Donatello.

You weren't quite sure how it happened. New York City was known for crazy encounters and conspiracy theories, of course, and with the rather exciting -- to put it mildly -- event of actual aliens invading the earth about a month ago, you were sure nothing much could surprise you.

You were proven wrong when your small dog followed his nose to the end of the apartment complex's side yard.

"Moose, leave whatever it is alone," you said to your mutt, shining your flashlight in his direction, figuring that Moose found a squirrel right by the landlord's dilapidating shed. "It's probably bigger than you..."

An understatement.

Your flashlight dropped to the ground as you gaped at a giant... turtle? Yes, you believed that was a shell and the skin was some shade of green in the low light of the closest street lamp on the other side of the apartment building's fence. The turtle had paused in trying to shoo Moose away, spotting you from behind its dark mask and freezing in place.

In fact, the only one moving was Moose, who for some strange reason was looking up at the turtle and wagging his tail.

The turtle spoke first with an obvious wince. "Please don't scream."

You weren't sure if your words would work, to be honest. There was an actual crack in your voice when you thought to ask, "Are you an alien?"

"N-No, I'm... No." The turtle's voice was masculine and he shifted to get a better grip on the stick he was leaning against to stay upright. You noticed Moose had gone back to sniffing the creature, the short furs on the back of his neck standing up as his snout got closer to the turtle's left calf. Your attention was snapped back to the turtle as he added, "Technically I was raised here in New York..."

"Moose, come," you said, and your little dog turned to you with his head tilted.

"Go ahead," the turtle coaxed your dog. To you, the turtle said, "I promise, I won't come around here again. Please don't tell anyone about... me."

Honestly, who would believe you if you did tell others? Well, okay, after seeing alien dinosaurs take out some of the buildings in the city, maybe there would be people more inclined to believe in giant turtles at this time.

Still, you said, "I won't... But do you need help?" Gesturing to his leg, you realized what Moose had been inspecting. The turtle seemed to have a bit of a gash, a cut that was bleeding slowly. "You should put some antiseptic on that."

"I will," he said. "But don't worry about it. I'll bandage it when I get home."

"You're leaning against a stick," you deadpanned. "It'd be easier and more comfortable to move if we bandage your cut here and now." Glancing up at your apartment building, you added, "The few other residents are old people who are probably already in bed. It'd be simple enough to get up to my place. Or I can bring the first aid kit out here."

"I... Uh, why?" was the question that tumbled out of the turtle's mouth. "I would think you'd be... I dunno, a bit more freaked out?"

"Buddy, I'm currently freelancing because my previous job exploded from alien dinosaurs." You shrugged. "You at least have been polite, haven't kicked my dog away from you yet, and I'd like to think that I'm a decent human being willing to help out someone who is hurt."

It took another few minutes of coaxing -- or perhaps the pain was getting uncomfortable for the turtle -- but the pair of you and Moose made it back up to your apartment. The turtle apologized for getting blood on your loveseat after you instructed him to sit down, and you waved the apology away as you found the first aid kit.

"Thank you," he said softly as you wrapped the cut with a bandage. "I'm Donatello."

You smiled up at him and introduced yourself, finding out that he had a few brothers and made sure he was able to get back to street level just fine so he could meet up with them. You thought it would just be a one-time encounter and were okay with that. As fascinating as Donatello and his brothers seemed, you could understand why they would keep to themselves and hide their lives away.

Besides, it was New York. It was easy to meet people once and never again in the giant city.

Yet, it was about a week later that there was a gift sitting on your windowsill by the fire escape. The handwriting was a little messy, a scrawl that reminded you of a middle schooler that was still figuring out their signature, and it seemed fitting for a giant turtle with three fingers.

Your musings about Donatello's education went out the window when you opened the little box and found a collar attachment for Moose. It was simple, lightweight, and it didn't take long to figure out the settings for the LED lights on the device. The note mentioned that Donatello guessed it would be easier to see Moose at night with a light-up collar rather than a flashlight. It was a thoughtful thank-you gift, even if Moose was a bit bewildered at the new attachment.

In hindsight, it was silly of you to think that would be it.

Donatello showed up on your fire escape not too long after, under the pretense of making sure you had received the gift. You made small talk, thank-yous going around in circles during his brief visit that eventually turned into multiple visits. A shell-cell was the next gift that was given to you, the little device a marvel in your eyes.

"If you want it," he said, sounding apprehensive. "I don't want to presume anything, but it'd be easier for us to keep in touch..."

His words trailed off into a question but he smiled when you said, "This is wonderful. Now I won't have to worry about you so much."

Donatello explained how it worked -- it was simple enough, but it was clear he enjoyed babbling about his work and you were happy to let him -- and it became normal for you guys to check in with each other once in a while. He always asked about Moose and how your freelancing was going, and you always asked what was cooking up in his lab. Your conversations were never too long, not until after you met the rest of his brothers, but just a few minutes of talking with a friend was always nice.

At one point down the line, he was lounging on your windowsill with his duffle bag at his feet. His tongue was poking out of his mouth as he unscrewed the covering of the shell-cell, some dirt encased in the grooves of its design from its adventure of nearly being buried in the yard by Moose. While you had still been able to call Donatello on it, he offered to drop by and clean it out.

Throughout that time, you noticed how ancient some of his tools seemed to be.

Considering Donatello wasn't the type to be able to walk into a hardware store himself, you decided on getting a gift for him for a change. The next time you had some spare money, you bought a decent, new set of tools for him. It was a standard set, nothing too fancy, but there was an array of screwdrivers, pliers, a hammer, a couple of wrenches, just to name a few tools.

While you figured Donatello would appreciate the gift, you were woefully unprepared for how his face lit up at seeing the toolkit.

In fact, initially, he gaped at the toolkit, his expression slack-jawed in such a way that you thought you made a mistake. "If these don't work for you, I do still have the receipt--"

"What--No, no!" Donatello reached for the kit and you realized he was restraining himself from yanking it out of your arms. A grin plastered itself on his face and the mask around his eyes crinkled as he smiled. "This is amazing. It's the nicest thing I've ever gotten! ... Are you sure?"

It was your turn to laugh. "I'm sure," you said. "Compared to what you've gotten me, it's not much, really."

"No, it is," he insisted. "This is wonderful. Thank you."

"You're very welcome." Honestly, if Donatello was this enthusiastic about gifts, you could picture yourself not saving as much money in order to make your new friend happy.

[fibrowarriorgirl]

Toxic positivity & chronic illness

This post is aimed mainly for the people who aren't chronically ill themselves, but for those who know someone dear to them is chronically ill. Although I think a lot of chronically ill peeps will be able to relate to this post.

"Stay positive." It's something that pretty much everyone hears in their life. In our darkest moments, we will always have someone telling us to be as happy as possible. Remember the last time you were upset, and someone told you something like this. How much did you appreciate this?

Sure, it can definitely help under certain circumstances. Let's say you failed a test at school. Your parents telling you "it's okay, better luck next time!" could actually cheer you up. But what if it wasn't just any test, but an important exam you failed. "Better luck next time!" is a lot less pleasing to hear. You failed your exam, you won't be able to go to your next year, all your friends did pass so you won't be in their class any more, and the next time you do the exam will be over a year from now. The phrase "better luck next time" sounds bitter more than anything. And definitely isn't appreciated.

We as humans often feel inclined to turn anything bad into something positive. It's a natural response. You see someone you love in pain, you want to be able to say something that will make it better. But we have to be realistic, there will be times when someone is in pain (physically, mentally or both), and there is nothing to say to make it better. And you trying to make it better, only makes it worse.

I've only had my fibromyalgia diagnosis for almost a month, but I've had episodic pain for over a year now and constant pain for almost 5 months now. Especially this last month has been rough with toxic positivity.

Receiving the fibromyalgia diagnosis was hard. At the time of being diagnosed, I didn't know too much about it. I had read about a few symptoms, but I honesty didn't think I could have it. So once I did some research, I was devastated with my diagnosis. And something I noticed, is that a lot of people were trying to help me by saying uplifting things.

"But Elke, what's so bad about that?" What bothered me the most, was that I wasn't even diagnosed for a week and people were telling me to cheer up. Telling me it could be worse, telling me what has helped them when they had pain once, it will get better, it will pass. And I always had the same response: "Let me be sad for a while."

I had just heard I had chronic pain. I have a very frustrating diagnosis. Doctors can't tell me what it is in my body that is causing all of my symptoms. There is no medication. I need mobility aids to get around. I will need a very intense form of rehabilitation. So yes, I was pretty depressed for a few days. The last thing I needed, was to hear it could be worse. I was grieving, grieving the life I once lived. I was in denial of the life I was forced to start living.

Maybe you're thinking that even though your positivity isn't welcome, but it can't hurt, right? Unfortunately, you're wrong. Being told that something could be worse, tells me I am bothering you, that my pain isn't severe enough to be upset about. Maybe that isn't your intention at all, but it is somewhat implied. We also internalise this way of thinking. I tell myself "it could be worse" so I can't feel bad. Even though my head can be pounding, my joints burning, with no energy in my body to do even the simplest of tasks, I'm still not allowing myself to feel bad. Because there is someone out there who has it worse.

Not only does this phrase negatively impact me, it impacts my surroundings. Let me take a friend of mine, who I will call Jane Doe for the sake of anonymity. Jane suffers from an undiagnosed eating disorder and body dysmorphia. And a few weeks ago, she told me she felt bad whenever she talked about her struggles with her body to me. "You're actually in constant pain, you have it so much worse." Do you know how heartbreaking it is to hear that? She is struggling with something I know can be so challenging. She is in (mental) pain, but "it could be worse." I am still here for Jane, I don't think of her pain as less or not as important as mine. I don't want her to feel like that.

Of course, there are many things chronically ill people are frequently told that do more damage than good. "I had pain here once, so I did x and y and it went away." We already tried x and y. We tried the whole alphabet. "It will pass." No, it's a chronic illness. It can get better, maybe. I could go on and on.

Discussing toxic positivity is awkward. Because I realise all of these things are said with love, with the intention to help, to put a smile on my face. So I don't want to point out that you're actually hurting me by saying this. I often will just smile and nod through it. And I get it, I really do. I too have done this in the past, I probably still do without even noticing. And I also understand that my loved ones also have to adapt to my new life. You don't get a handbook on how to deal with your chronically ill daughter/partner/friend/etc. So that's why I'm posting this, to educate.

Instagram account @unchartedmalady posted a quote a few days ago that inspired me to write this post. "We don't seek solutions or treatments from friends or family. That is what medical professionals are for. We want support, understanding and empathy." This perfectly describes how I feel about this.

I'm in pain, every day. Some days, I get a lot done. Maybe I'm in a little less pain, but that isn't necessarily the reason. I could be excited to do something, I could have rested a lot the days beforehand, maybe I just somehow woke up with more spoons than usual. There are also days where I am not able to do much. There are even days that I can only get out of bed to use the toilet. Maybe this is a really bad pain, but that also isn't necessarily the reason. I could have received bad news, I have just done something 'big' the days before and need to rest, maybe I just woke up with less spoons.

On my good days, I don't need much support. But on those bad days, I need you. And I don't need you to help me. I need to be able to tell you "today fucking sucks, this is why" and for you to listen. Seeing your loved one is in pain is uncomfortable, you will feel the need to say something positive to cheer them up. This might sound blunt, but learn to deal with that uncomfortable feeling. Some appropriate responses could be:

"Do you know what to do on days like this?"

"Have you been able to discuss this with (medical professional)?"

"I am here for you."

"I'm sorry you're going through this."

"Can I help you with anything?"

Something that I personally think is a great alternative to saying something positive is: "I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better." This acknowledges that you want to say something to help, but that you realise there is nothing you can say to help. And also, be honest if you don't know what to say. "That sounds awful, I genuinely don't know what to say." There is nothing wrong with being honest about that.

And to finish this post off, I am not here raging against everyone who has every said something 'toxically positive.' I am here educating about this. It's okay to make mistakes, especially if you didn't know about this. And maybe you will still make this mistake every now and again, that's okay. As long as you're trying. We're all human, we all make mistakes. If you're ever not completely sure how to handle a situation with your chronically ill loved one, please just ask (respectfully).

(Credit for image goes to uncharted malady on instagram. Click here to visit their profile)

[princess-stabbity]

technically speaking, "getting the people to revolt" is one of the lower order of effects those sanctions are trying to implement

like i'm not saying they're definitely gonna work. this conflict is too volatile for me to feel comfortable making almost any predictions, to be quite blunt. and even if they do work, whether the ukrainian people saved are worth the russian people hurt is a subjective moral call. (though--and i don't want to minimize the suffering inherent in economic collapse--it's worth considering that sanctions can be lifted but people cannot be unshot.)

but if these sanctions lead to putin losing his grasp on power, it will likely be because of the effect on the oligarchs and high-ranking officials. they have much more leverage, here, and they've been personally sanctioned and had their assets targeted. which, to be petty for a minute, is one of the few enjoyable things about this whole horrible situation. imagine how funny it would be to see that happen to bezos and musk. and while i don't have too much hope of that, there have already been some cracks. that said, if pressure on the oligarchs does work, it will most likely result simply in putin finally agreeing to some sort of face-saving peace agreement, not regime change (i've been imagining something akin to the end of the winter war, which would mean letting them take crimea+donbas but leave ukrainian sovereignty intact--tho it sounds like the ukrainians are not willing to give up territory, so who knows). i've seen no indication they're holding out for regime change. just withdrawal.

another goal of these sanctions, tho, is to empty out the war chest. war takes money and resources, and if putin can't get those (eg, can't get new parts to repair planes, sources of munitions limited, ability to pay mercenaries restricted), that's another pressure on him to withdraw. from my perspective, this is simultaneously the most important and probably least understood goal of these sanctions. i haven't been sharing posts about developments on the ground because--between the unpredictability of the situation, the fog of war, and both rus & ukr propaganda--i think it difficult to tell what's truly happening and i don't want to contribute to disinfo. however, i'm inclined to believe that reports of poor russian supplies/logistics are probably correct (if perhaps exaggerated). i read a prewar article over a week ago about the wagner group (basically the kremlin's blackwater but with more othalas) that suggested even they struggle with this. point being, if this is not abnormal for russian military forces, having their entire economy flushed down the toilet will not make these problems better, and russian disorganization and low morale seem to be large parts of what have been keeping the ukrainians in the fight. plus, the worse the ground offensive goes, the more likely putin will finally receive some form of pushback from within the govt.

obviously these sanctions could backfire. putin will try to stir up national resentment, play the strong man as usual, "the west is trying to destroy us and i alone can stop them!" etc and it may work. but the whole situation is a lot more complicated than "sanctions are for hurting the common people so they revolt." i'm against the idea that academic bona fides are the be-all end-all of knowledge, but i do get frustrated seeing people present themselves as experts on a topic i've actually studied, just because twitter's algorithm favors the most vehement and radical takes, you know? wish i could go back to when the worst social media takes on things i studied were mostly about "death of the author."

and all this is without getting into any of the bigger picture concepts and questions at play, like: -"should outside states intervene in situations like invasion and genocide?" at this point in my life, my feeling is that human beings have a duty to one another to try to help. but the geopolitics of the last, oh, let's say 20 years at least, should make us extremely cautious about that. even if the intentions are truly just altruistic (hard to imagine, but for the sake of argument), that doesn't mean the attempted help will be effective, or that it won't solve the immediate problem but cause others down the road. -"if so, by what means?" if you take away military intervention and all economic sanctions, there aren't many mechanisms left to effect change (tho i think that some that remain should be used much more often, like refugee settlement within your own borders) -"if so, how do we avoid this international mechanism being used to cynical ends?" recent u.s. history speaks for itself. those concerned about the question of "who gets to decide what country is cut off from the world economy?" are right to worry, tho they're slightly off-base in thinking the u.s. alone holds this power (not wholly off-base, because the u.s. has a lot of both hard and soft power to throw around to influence votes in the un, but this is not something the u.s. could have done unilaterally and even states more in russia or china's "sphere" were willing to coordinate on this). that said...setting aside the likelihood of the u.s. getting punished for violating international law, i'm inclined to think things would be better if we were? weird to me, seeing people go "well, the u.s. didn't face consequences for [x]" like yeah maybe some sort of international precedent should be set. maybe we wouldn't be at this point globally if international orgs had some real teeth. this whole situation could have cascading negative effects in the future, but for now i think seeing a superpower get reined in is maybe a good thing. finally, it's worth remembering that inaction is, itself, an action, with potentially disastrous consequences. how many times have the permanent members of the unsc been effectively allowed to do whatever they want without consequence? where has that gotten us? -"if not, should a non-state entity be the one to intervene?" great concept, big fan, but many potential issues bubble from this one: who runs it, how is it funded, from what or whom does it derive authority and credibility, does it actually have the capacity to enact change, who watches this watchman, etc. these questions are not insurmountable, in my opinion, but they're not easy, either -"if non-state actors instead, how do we avoid having them run into the same pitfalls a state would?" i think humans have a history of saying "this thing is bad, let's make a new version" and then the new version has the same problems all over again. i think dan olson put it well, when describing the problems with treating crypto as a way of eliminating banks: "this is a really important point to stress: cryptocurrency does nothing to address 99% of the problems with the banking industry, because those problems are patterns of human behavior. they’re incentives, they’re social structures, they’re modalities. the problem is what people are doing to others, not that the building they’re doing it in has the word 'bank' on the outside." in other words, i think people often correctly identify problems with an organization, only to replace it with a new one with the same corrupting incentives and social structures that led to problems with the prior one. states are basically organizations of people. a non-state actor is presumably also an organization of people. how do you structure it to be better suited to this task?

my point (or my overarching one, anyway, i'm having a hard time structuring them all into coherency) is that life is actually very complicated. i'm tired of the twitterized approach to everything, where centuries of history and debate and scholarship are treated as tho they can be condensed down to 280 characters without losing a lot of important context and nuance. the stakes are too high. they've always been too high.

anyway now that i've finally got this rant out of my system i'm back to, once again, haranguing my elected officials to let in more refugees. it's infuriating to think about how much more likely it is to gain traction this time.

[what-do-1000-swords-look-like]

I came across your post in the jensen tag. I don't follow you but I saw some of your posts regarding jensen talking about jessica and I got the gist of it. Firstly, I don't think you were trying to be anti jensen. I am a big jensen stan & I block anti jensen people all the time here. I did understand your perspective of why the way he was talking mayhaps rubbed you wrong. However I just think it's his way of telling a story. He uses a lot of expressions sort of in animated way to tell stories. He was in a comfort space with a friend. He also said a lot of good things about Jessica and explained it with full context. He also tried to make it an equal situation by telling people what he did not just what she did. I don't think he was trying to get a reaction. I just think that's a way he tells stories and he got more comfortable in an environment he was in. But I don't think he was trying to paint a bad picture of her at all. The media is doing that. She wasn't a nice person to work with at that time and they both know that. He was a little more blunt in this interview which we haven't seen him in a long time so everyone was little more shocked to see that. I can understand why some stuff may didn't set well with you. I don't condone the harassment you faced but I also think that there is a lot of anti-jensen environment on tumblr specially under Jensen tag that even little stuff ticks people off. Specially coming from destiel stans, cas stans considering I have seen so much hate and negativity myself against Jensen in last few weeks only and I ship destiel too. People were wishing him covid & death. So paranoia is high I guess. I don't know why I am rambling in your ask box. Just felt like sharing my thoughts.

Hey, Nonnie. Omgoodness, you are not rambling, you are just sharing your thoughts and perspective and I truly appreciate everything you said here.

My response is below the cut:

Firstly, thank you so much for telling me that you don't think my post was of the anti-Jensen category because that certainly was never my intention. So, I feel better knowing that you and a few others saw the true intention of the post and that I was simply just sharing my opinion. That there was no bashing of Jensen in any way, shape, or form, nor was I trying to paint him in a villainous light in the Jessica Alba situation. And I truly appreciate that. For you to take the time to not only read the post fully through but also putting yourself in my shoes for a moment to try to understand my perspective of why that part of the interview rubbed me the wrong way and then coming to my ask box to share your thoughts on the subject and to respectfully give not only your opinion but a different explanation of the subject makes you an incredibly empathetic human being in my book. So thank you for that. It actually made me feel a lot better about this whole scenario, especially after all of the bs that was thrown my way by people who did not read the post in its entirety.

I'm inclined to agree with you, Nonnie. I think you put it perfectly, actually. "He was a little more blunt in this interview which we haven't seen him in a long time so everyone was little more shocked to see that." -> I actually 1000% agree with you on this point and think that is what personally contributed to those two parts not sitting right with me while watching the interview. You're absolutely right, he was definitely more blunt than we've seen him in a long time and that I think took some folks aback, myself included.

I appreciate the way you broke it down about the JA situation and what your perspective is on that piece of the interview as well. It does have me looking at this moment a little differently and seriously considering your viewpoint. You are right, he does tell stories and reading your thoughts and then rewatching the interview coming from that vantage point helped me to realize that my opinion might have been different had I only listened to the interview and not watched it. (that ol' audio vs visual thing) I doubt I would have batted an eyelash and I most likely would have seen it only as him telling that story and not feeling as if it was very much a boys' club moment. Well, for the most part I should say. It does still feel just slightly off to me (though you made some very good points about the full context, balancing the negative with the positive about JA, and he was in a comfortable space with a friend of many years), but like I said, I'm looking at it through the lens you provided and I can now see that the whole waiting for a laugh thing can be contributed to his style of telling stories. So, I appreciate that and I thank you for it. And yes, the media, I swear, when did it become all about getting the most clicks/views and not telling the truth? I despised that they took that from the interview and blew it up in such a way that JA's people had to be contacted for comments and it garnered more negative attention for the situation. Just absolute ridiculousness.

I appreciate that, about the harassment. I have to say that I was very shocked when I started receiving that nastiness in my inbox. Being a Destiel fan (and anti Jared at times, though I hesitate to use the term anti because I don't hate the guy, I just don't support him and I'm not a fan, that's all), a Buddie fan, and someone who is a fan of Daenerys Targaryen but is critical of her showverse character, I am no stranger to that type of bile. But this completely took me by surprise. I mean, from being told that I needed to take the post out of the Jensen tag and instead put it under 'anti' to being accused of 'twisting' Jensen's words in the interview to make him look like the bad guy, to how dare I call myself a fan of Jensen and have the blog name that I do when I'm secretly an anti, to someone implying I was sexist (because if it had been reversed with JA, then I would have seen it differently supposedly), to telling me I better remove that post right now or else, and all kinds of just vile things (some of them I didn't even post tbh, it was just that nasty). I seriously could not fathom how my words had set so many people off that they felt the need to come hurl that viciousness at me while not even having the decency to use their actual blog names but to do it anonymously (aka cowardly). And I was like, 'if you're such true fans of Jensen and you're defending his honor, then why not come off of anon when being this truly terrible in his name?' As if Jensen or any of his team or family or friends or anyone he knows would conduct themselves in such a horrific manner in defense of him. Pure harassment and bullying, that's all it was.

Though, I will say, that I appreciated your ask and every single ask and comment I received that was supportive, empathetic, and civil, even if it was to disagree with what I had said in my post. Like I always say, respect and compassion matter. People can have different opinions that we necessarily don't agree with but let's disagree respectfully. No need for any hate.

I do get now what you're saying about the reaction to any little criticism of Jensen on here. It was a tough lesson to learn at the time but I learned it. I actually came across a post recently where someone talked about that no matter what corner of the SPN fandom you're in, one thing across the board is that you cannot have opinions because you'll get attacked. It doesn't matter if it's about a ship or character or one of the actors or their wives; just don't share any opinions or you're going to get it basically. Which is just pure insanity because what on earth is this social media platform/blogging site for then? What is the whole point of the tagging system and for people to be able to tag posts when they contain a certain subject? What is the whole point of free speech then? Of civil discourse, even? If I truly bashed Jensen or Danneel or Jared or JA or anyone in that post, then I would have labeled it as such with the anti tag. And while yes, I was being critical about those two parts of the interview in regards to Jensen, I didn't feel that it was an overall critical piece that I wrote? Like, yes, those were the two main points, but I also kind of felt like I was trying to bring some rationality to the table as well (regarding the whole prequelgate mess and how Jensen's words were being misconstrued by parts of the fandom, he was not throwing Jared under the bus imho). And also to make the point that a) it was not a big deal imo that Jensen called JA a bitch because besides the context Jensen provided if you reverse those roles and she said something similar to Jensen had he been mistreating her at the time that people would not be so up in arms about it & b) people make mistakes and everyone has a past, it's nothing but the truth. If JA didn't regret her actions and she hadn't apologized for them, then yeah I get it. But she did supposedly. So, that's why I used the Danneel example for comparison. Like, if we're going to call for JA's head, then that means we need to hold every person who has ever been a 'bitch' to someone or had a bad day or sparred with trolls (aka Danneel) or screwed up in any way accountable. Celebrity and non-celebrity alike. Pure logic and rationality; in no way is this saying Jensen deserved the treatment he got from JA on the DA set. In no way is this excusing her behavior nor is it an impassioned defense of her character (I don't even know what she's doing now tbh, does anyone know? I don't follow her career, I don't know anything about her as a person, I was never a fan). It's simply applying the logic of 'hey, slow your roll before you go on a hate tirade and cancel her or anyone else without putting it into perspective first'. I mean, she was 19! Not an excuse, but I remember how many mistakes I made at 19 and I wasn't in her same circumstances. The same valid thought process of let's-take-the-age-into-account I've seen made in Jensen's defense by these very same stans when he was getting hate for calling JA a bitch (talk about hypocrisy). Again, not a defense or excuse, Jensen had every right to state how he felt about her treatment of him of course, but I'm just being empathetic and putting myself in both JA's and Jensen's shoes for a moment.

And yeah, I saw those COVID jokes on the Jensen tag. I have to admit, I saw the Deadline piece that they posted and my heart sank because for a moment I thought it was real and I was worried for him, Danneel, and the kids. But then I looked it up and found out it was a bunch of bs, in the name of an Omega joke. Ridiculous. I get the point of the joke but that wasn't an appropriate one imho. Not when people are still dealing with the pandemic and not when so many have been affected and are still being affected by it. And not when you make it look as it's an actual article which worries his fans that might have come across it (I'm sure I wasn't the only one that thought for a second, 'oh shit...'). So I get that hypersensitivity in that tag right now but like you said, it doesn't condone actual harassment and it certainly is no excuse. But I appreciate you giving that viewpoint and also, hi there fellow Destiel shipper. =)

Idk, Nonnie, It all just blows my mind honestly. Still. I hesitated to come on here until today, because I just wasn't sure I was ready quite truthfully. Like I said, I'm pretty good about laughing that stuff off and handling myself accordingly, but that really knocked the figurative wind out of me. I think this particular wave of crap that I got bothers me more than previous waves because it's so easy to laugh off 'you're an idiot, you don't know what you're talking about' or 'c*nt' or 'you must love Mooshy' or anything equally third grade level type namecalling, but these were more targeted strikes and definitely had more precision than previous attacks. It really felt as if this community (I even hesitate to use that word anymore, it's just a fandom now to me) just ousted me in a way, for daring to say something that I didn't agree with that Jensen had said. Like if their fantasies ever come true and they actually meet the guy, if he forgets to say thank you when one of them holds the door open for him or Danneel mentions he forgot to take out the garbage at home again, look out world. I actually kind of feel bad for both of them (and Jared and Misha, too) because I cannot for one second imagine being in their shoes. Holy Christmas. Not going to lie, it almost feels cultish; Jensen can do no wrong, ever. And of course, that makes the rest of us Jensen fans, the true fans I would argue (that don't objectify him or tailor their beliefs of who they think he is to fit their fantasies), look bad, or at the very least look like the sane and realistic minority of the group.

But another very important distinction that I learned, and this to me was essential to my continuation of being a fan of Jensen (or any other person really), is that Jensen is not his rabid stans. While I don't know Jensen personally, I highly doubt he would be the type of person that would be at the head of the so-called Ackles Army and telling them to go forth and attack, and spread hate and bad energy in his name. Regardless of whatever may be said about him or Danneel or Jared or Misha, etc. So that distinction was imperative for me to even continue being a fan of his or SPN in general.

And I could be wrong but didn't he say at one point, that if someone was willing to judge him, then he doesn't really care what they think? I could be mistaken, but that does sound quite close to the public persona he has presented. A very good lesson his stanbase aka the AA's should learn.

Anyways, Nonnie, I have rambled on here long enough (and you thought you were rambling lol), so I'm going to just sum up and say thank you so much for your ask and your viewpoint, and sharing your thoughts. It makes me feel slightly better about the people on here (in this fandom I should say, I don't want to generalize all of the Tumblr users in relation to this experience) and also shed some positive light not only on that podcast interview but also Jensen as a topic as a whole. So thank you for that. =)

I hope that you continue to have a wonderful rest of your day and have a great weekend!!!! Once again, Nonnie, thank you. <3

[mephew-j]

okay now I'm curious about all the Pokemon headcanon stuff you got 👀

Oh, dear.

Right. Didn´t think anyone would be interested. Thought this was just another story for myself.

But I´ll gladly tell ya what my brain got up with so far (and what my time allows me to write - I´m not done yet!). =)

Also sorry for taking so long but I have been chipping away each evening after work as I wanted to give a proper answer. But then I received my second Covid-vaccination on Monday and I didn´t take it too well and felt horrible on Tuesday. But I´m good again. =)

Ok, so it´s literally a persona AU in the Pokemon world which doesn´t have a name - yet at least - located in a new region due to me wanting to have Pokemon that don´t all exist in the same region.

So there´s the ME! Persona – a human girl/woman who moved to a more rural part of the region with her mother when she was younger when her parents decided to split up.

There she went to a normal grammar school and made a small amount of friends while her mother found an office job at the local breeder´s facility that provides the professor of this region – Dr. Primrose – with starters. And like literally every other child she was fascinated by Pokemon and dreamt about becoming a Pokemon trainer after school. Really basic stuff this far.

But when her friends and her graduated she found herself doubting to be ripe to becoming a trainer at the age of 10. She simply didn´t feel ready to be on her own yet.

So as her friends left to become trainers she stood behind alone.

Her mother told her not to worry too much and to proceed school instead giving her an advantage over the others her age one day. And so she did.

She attended and finished high school and the idea of becoming a trainer had taken a backseat in her life.

When she was asked what she wanted to do now that school was officially over she found herself quite clueless and decided on taking a few internships – at the local Pokemon store, the post office, etc. but nothing really seemed fitting.

One day her mother asked her whether she´d want to give the Pokemon breeder facility a try. She agreed and took another internship there.

After just a week in it was clear that she would do an apprenticeship there to become a “Pokemon nursing assistant”. In these three years of practical and scholar education she didn´t just learn the profession but also grew as a person and got her driver´s licence.

Mostly she got educated by the Pokemon working there as it had always been easier for her to work/communicate with them than with other humans. But her human colleagues took great care of her, too, of course:

There was the leader of the facility – an elderly woman in her mid-50s who had once been a trainer herself - her Machamp, Blaziken, Sceptile, Swampert, Kangaskhan, Chansey and a hand-full of employees along with a few other Pokemon that were rather deemed unfit as starters or simply decided to stay, who did a great job at breeding, hatching and raising starters and orphaned Pokemon.

Especially one Treeko had become fond of her and was usually the one who took her by the hand.

Nearly at the end of her apprenticeship the facility leader took her to the side and asked her to consider becoming a trainer after all as she would have “just the right stuff” to be a considerably good one.

Again Me! hesitated for a while until she decided to give it a try this time. She packed her things and when she went to the breeder facility to say Goodbye the previously mentioned Treeko quickly fetched his Pokeball. He stood in front of her waiting for her to kneel. Surprised she followed the invitation and when she had reached his level the Treeko placed the ball into her hands and gave her an asserted look. She reciprocated with a smile and nodded.

The Pokemon:

-Treeko/Grovyle/Sceptile: A male Treeko who was bred and born as one of the first ones in the breeder facility and was later handed to Dr. Primrose along with other starters to be picked by young trainers at the start of their journeys.

Unfortunately, though he was deemed unfit as a starter after several children had called Dr. Primrose shortly after they had chosen him as their partner and told her that they simply couldn´t handle him; he wouldn´t listen to a word they said or that he would be overall renitent.

Dr. Primrose had taken him back every time to give it a new try but decided to send him back to the breeder facility in the end. “No Pokemon can be forced to be a trainer´s Pokemon.”

The facility took him back and let him help there which he did.

Several years passed until one day a young woman showed up and started her internship at the facility. She seemed lost and shy like a Pokemon that had just hatched so the Treeko was quick to take pity on her. The pity then grew into fondness and when it was clear the now graduated trainee would start her own journey he rushed into the warehouse, grabbed his Pokeball and handed it over to her.

He had decided to be her starter.

The Treeko/Grovyle/Sceptile in my AU has a much higher age than a normal starter would have and more knowledge of life. Sometimes his behaviour will come close to that of a parent. His level also had been a little higher due to occasional fun-fights between him and some other Pokemon at the facility. It´s no wonder that he also had been the first one of the team to evolve closely followed by Yamask/Cofagrigus.

- Yamask/Cofagrigus: Me! and Treeko encountered him as they crossed a small deserted and desolate part of the region mostly inhabited by poison and ghost types just a few days from their hometown.

The Yamask seemed to be alone and hid badly behind the little that was there to hide behind as the two travellers took a quick break and meal. As it wasn´t hard to spot the ghost in his concealment Me! prepared a third meal and cautiously shoved it over the hiding Pokemon who took the food gratefully after inspecting it thoroughly.

When the two went on their way the Yamask must have followed them as they spotted him again when they erected their night quarters many hours later and quite far away from the bleak land.

´Weird, especially ghost Pokemon usually act in groups. Why is this one alone?´ Me! thought as she prepared another extra dish for the unusual guest before going to sleep.

In the course of the night Me! woke up again and again only to find the Yamask having come a little closer every time she opened her eyes until he had found his place right next to her and her Treeko on her camping mat by dawn.

So the next morning it had been clear to Me! that they´d have a new team member and as Treeko didn´t seem to mind the the new Pokemon in any negative way either Me! caught the Yamask.

Me! considered the Yamask could have only been a few weeks old as it didn´t act like a ghost type at all – sure every ghost Pokemon had their own personality but they were usually inclined to show certain character traits such as enjoying the one or the other prank or scare on their fellow Pokemon or even trainer – but this one acted more like it had just hatched. She had seen it several times before after all. This assumption had been confirmed in the next Pokemon Centre.

Yamask was a very timid, shy and overall scared Pokemon who would have always hid behind his trainer and would have always searched for shelter and warmth usually sleeping in Me!´s arms and thus in the middle of Me! and Treeko.

Me! never forced him to fight and in the beginning he didn´t seem too keen on doing so anyway. But the more he watched other Pokemon fight the more he seemed to want to try it on his own because one day – a fellow Pokemon trainer had challenged Me! – he simply hopped in front of Treeko and asserted himself. Treeko took a few steps back and gave him the opportunity. Yamask lost the fight horribly and when Treeko took over he evolved.

Spurred on by that event he tried to fight again and again and lost several times. Whenever he went K.O. he´d always watch Grovyle fight and tried to learn from him as best he could.

Until one day he won. From that they on he insisted on fighting all the more and as he actually won his fights now Grovyle barely had to take over.

When he evolved though he was overwhelmed and had a hard time coping with his new form. Other Pokemon – especially smaller ones – suddenly were scared of him and other trainers that had called his prior form “cute” were now frightened as well. He smiled at them but that only made it worse. He was barely able to move around let alone fight and what was he supposed to do with these appendages? He was especially upset that the couldn´t sleep in his trainer’s arms anymore.

The little self-confidence he had been able to built up through fights was blown away.

Me! hit a countless amount of books trying to help her Pokemon and while she could help him with some problems several other were left untouched.

Luckily though the team met another trainer soon after who had a fully grown/asserted Cofagrigus. The trainer and their Cofagrigus gladly helped and things turned better quickly allowing Me!´ Cofagrigus to move around properly and even fight again.

Me!´s Cofagrigus had never been one of the stronger Pokemon but he always tried his best and at some point his high level alone gave him an advantage.

Through all of the story Cofagrigus´ character barely changed; he had always been a timid and friendly Pokemon searching for his trainer´s affection and proximity seeing her as his mother. Though he had grown as a person being more self-confident (especially in fights) and self-aware having learnt that ghost-types were quick on inclining fear on others. The latter he would only “abuse” when things actually got dicey.

He would oftenly search for his trainer´s hand to hold while they were walking.

Me! had the idea to try and learn and teach Cofagrigus sign language as she had seen and read several documentations and articles about people teaching Pokemon this language. And a Pokemon with hands – how handy was that?

Me! sleeps in a sleeping bag on Cofagrigus whenever they are out in the wild with a ghost hand carefully placed on her shoulder. She would never admit that this causes her sacroiliac pain sometimes though.

- Ralts/Kirlia/Gardevoir: Male

- Sizzlipede/Centiskorch: Female

- Darkrai:

- Honedge/Doublade/Aegislash: Male

The other characters:

- (Name) and her Gastly/Haunter/Gengar “Na-na”: (Name) had never had a very close relationship with any of the family members as she had always been the odd one out even as she was little. Her grandmother – she fondly called “Na-na” - was the only exception as she also had been one to fall out the line.

Her grandmother had always used to tell her stories, myths and legends from all around the globe as she had been travelling as a young Pokemon trainer herself. (Name) had always loved these stories and her grandmother´s presence especially as she had always been the one to encourage her on whatever she did.

“I wanna be a Pokemon trainer just like Nana!” she once exclaimed in front of her entire family at a party. Her whole family immediately turned on her grandmother and accused her of planting stupid ideas in the little child´s mind. It wasn´t common to train Pokemon in this family but to get a good graduation and a well-paying job instead.

From that day on she was forbidden to see her grandmother. Though that didn´t stop any of the two to still be in contact; they wrote little messages and attached them onto “Nana”´s Murkrow to deliver the messages, whenever a lesson would have been omitted she would speed to her grandmother´s house to at least see her a few minutes, etc.

One day though no new message had arrived. Nor had any followed the next day.

She kneeled to her parents and pleaded to drive to her grandmother´s house and after a few hours they agreed and drove there. But when no one opened her parent´s started to worry as well and called the police.

…

A few days later was the funeral. (Name) had only been 7 years old and had lost the only person who she truly cared for and she didn´t cope with it well throwing temper tantrums, hitting other children in school, hitting even her parents.

They didn´t know what to do so they sent her to a children-psychologist with little effect.

One night when she had been lying awake again she had decided to go to the graveyard – she needed someone to talk, she needed her grandmother.

When she arrived at her grandmother´s tombstone she couldn´t keep it in any longer and yielded in crying.

Startled by the sound a Gastly flew up from behind the tombstone and paused in mid-air looking at the child below it. (Name) has had raised her eyes by now and looked at the Ghastly with big eyes.

She immediately remembered one of her grandmother´s stories in which a young couple had a baby but the mother died in childbed fever. When the husband and the baby visited the mother´s grave one night a ghost emerged from it and they were together again.

It had only been a legend from another region her grandmother had told her once but for (Name) it had been very real at this moment.

“Na-na” she had whispered and the Ghastly had come closer circling (Name) curiously.

To (Name) that had been an acknowledgement she was seeing her grandmother again.

From that day on she had been visiting the graveyard every night, so very happy to her grandmother again and talk to her and the Ghastly would await her arrival.

The psychologist had been assuming she would have made her grandmother up as some sort of imaginary friend as some children would do. Telling this her parent´s they were very relieved.

Until one morning a Ghastly came hovering down the stairs next to their daughter. The parents immediately panicked and yanked their daughter away from the Pokemon but when (Name) cried out “No! Leave Na-na alone!” they halted and called their daughter´s psychologist.

He advised them to better leave the Pokemon with their daughter as it did her extremely well and they complied unwillingly.

Why- of all Pokemon out there – did it have to be a ghost/poison type, wouldn´t have a Meowth or a Cleffa done too?

Name and Ghastly would have gone everywhere together from now on if others approved of it or not.

When (Name) had been old enough she started her own journey without her parent´s consent yet still they had known they couldn´t have kept her from going – she had been taken too much after her grandmother.

The two have been travelling the region from then on together knowing they can always rely on each other as many situations have already proven.

Of course (Name) has realized Na-na is not her actual grandmother long ago.

Na-na is female.

Institutions:

- The PSO (The Pokemon Safety Orgnaisation)

[fansplaining]

Hello! I'm curious to know your opinion. I've been working on this long fic for months. Ever since I started writing there has been a bunch of anon's under different names telling me how to write each chapter. Saying things like "make (A) do this", "(b) needs to do that." "I expect this to happen to (C)" Etc. On one hand I'm grateful for the feedback, after all what writer isn't, but of 10 comments, 9 are like this. I'm starting to feel my writing isn't good enough for my readers.

Hello anon! Elizabeth here. Hooooo boy let me tell you, as I was reading this I went on a **journey**. When I reached “9 out of 10,” I went, “WHAT.” I have a few thoughts, and without knowing the full context (what your story is like, what fandom it’s in, etc etc) some of this might apply and some might not. But I think it’s all generally useful for fic writers and readers to think about.

This actually got pretty long, so I’ll put my thoughts under a cut.

 1) The story vs reader expectations

This is something I think about—and talk about—a lot. Here’s a bit of what I said while discussing what “OOC” actually means a few episodes back: 

Humans act irrationally, and I think that you can write a character acting irrationally well. But to me, that’s not a character acting out of character. That’s a character acting against character, irrationally... I think when we say “out of character” about characters we’re actually saying something different, which is: “Have you done the work to show why the character would respond to this situation X way or Y way?” And if he responds Z way, and you haven’t done any of the work to show why he might do that or any of the consequences if it is truly out of character the way we would say a real human acts out of character—then very often it is bad writing. It is people taking plot ideas and then imposing them over their characters without earning it.

These conversations are a huge part of our discussions about media in recent years—whether writing choices are good, whether they are earned, whether they are “in character,” whether they conform to what we expected. But the last one is where things get really murky—because there are *a lot* of readers and viewers these days who are kind of doing what I’m accusing bad writers of doing in that quote—imposing their expectations over the story without really grasping what’s been set up by the writer(s).

There are a lot of parts to this. We often pinpoint Lost as the place where the modern audience’s inclination to “solve” a show was born, and this has spread throughout viewing/reading cultures over the past two decades. The rise of “spoiler culture” is a huge factor here, too—as if knowing plot points is the only thing of value when viewing or reading a piece of entertainment. My least favorite thing in all of this is TV Tropes and the kind of rewiring of peoples’ brains to *only* look for those concepts (which are often weirdly narrow and reductive, unlike, say, the more categorical tropes of fic or the romance genre). 

Here’s an example: in 2017, Gav and I made our love of Black Sails the centerpiece of our fandom newsletter, The Rec Center, and in the process got a lot of people to watch it. And because we were the ones that inspired them, I had a fair number of people in my mentions/messaging me to give their real-time reactions as they went through the episodes.

While not every single writing choice on Black Sails is flawless, much of it is meticulously done, and so many of the plot points are carefully well-earned. But the things people were guessing would happen next in my mentions...were bonkers. Not everyone! But it was enough people (guessing different things) that I was kind of floored. I would think, If that’s what you think is going to happen next, I feel like you aren’t paying attention to the show? I should clarify that this happened with *a lot* of people, not trying to call anyone in particular out. But so many of the guesses felt like they came from expectations imposed by other media, especially stuff that’s signficantly more formulaic and tropey. 

This instinct—to predict, to vocally desire outcomes, to try and get ahead of the writers, to impose the structures of other media over the thing you’re watching—is *deep* in a lot of viewers’ and readers’ minds these days, and it comes out regardless of the quality of the writing. I think it’s not a great turn of events, to be honest—and it leads writers to make some really foolish choices in an attempt to “trick” viewers with something they never could’ve guessed. Which...generally makes for bad writing overall. 

2) Expectations within your fic

So this is the part where I falter a bit without context. Because some fic writers make it clear that they are posting as they write, and that they’re open to suggestions for plot choices. I assume you haven’t done this, or you wouldn’t be unhappy that people are trying to dictate what comes next. 

I’m curious if you are signalling that you’re...OK? with these kinds of comments by, say, writing nice replies that don’t make it clear that you know where you’re going with the story and you’ve already made choices about what happens next. There’s definitely a way to strike that balance, like a very polite evasion, something like, “Haha, thanks for the comment! I have the whole fic plotted out, so you’ll just have to wait and see!” If you start to signal that you’re in control of the plot, not the commenters, perhaps they’ll chill out a bit—because I gotta be honest, the fact that this is 90% of the comments...is wild to me. And I’m wondering if people are doing it because they see other people doing it. 

Again, total speculation without any actual context. I think that this sort of thing is likely more common in certain fandoms and with certain age groups. Even on AO3, fandom is not a monolith—I wonder if you’ve noticed this with other longfics in your fandom. It might be worth checking out how other writers have handled it, if they’re getting flooded with comments like these. 

I posted a longish fic recently, 75K over the course of three months, and let me tell you, no offense to any of my commenters, but a few of them reminded me of those Black Sails folks: What story are you actually reading?? I politely pushed back with one who asserted a whole bunch of stuff that was not in the story at all and tried to predict what would happen based on what was frankly bad reading comprehension. With others who expressed expectations about where things would go, I went the, “Haha you’ll have to wait and see!” route.

Talking to other people who’ve posted chapter-by-chapter longfics, I know that some of the bad predictions are par for the course: being absolutely certain the trouble in a section won’t be resolved, being convinced that any hint that the ship may not stay together will come to pass, even when, what, 95% of all shippy fic has the characters staying together? There’s a sort of performativity of immediate reactions in fic commenting, “OH NO, OH NO, ARE THEY BREAKING UP?” Like, duh, not forever. But commenting as real-time reaction is clearly the way a lot of readers engage with fic. Which is fine! That’s different from dictating the plot to you. 

3) The commenters vs your story

OK, so conceptually swinging back to the first bit, while my immediate response to, “I'm starting to feel my writing isn't good enough for my readers,” is NO NO NO JUST BECAUSE AN AUDIENCE IS SAYING SOMETHING DOESN’T MEAN YOU ARE BAD AND THEY ARE CORRECT. But! I think it might be worth spending a liiiitttle bit of time with them to see what they are saying, and how you think that connects back to what you’ve written. 

When folks came at me with, “I think X will happen next in Black Sails,” I, as a person who’s watched it several times and also professionally deconstructs texts as a critic, can go through and be like, “Here’s why I think that’s a misreading of what you’ve seen so far” (though mostly I would just say things like, “Why try to predict the plot! Just enjoy it!” because I’m trying not to be a dick). Rewatching the show, I can see all the things the writers carefully laid out, and how they pay off eventually. Can I imagine alternate choices for the characters? Sure! But I can see why, with the specific context and stakes in which characters made decisions, the writers had them do what they did. If they made other choices, I’d want that similar sort of work-showing. 

Similarly, when I got the occasional comment like this on the aforementioned fic, I would take it seriously for a moment. Why are they predicting this? Is it possible I haven’t shown my work enough? As I was writing, I thought very carefully about the characters and their motivations and the way certain events shaped their choices, and how changing events would change those choices. Generally, those comments felt, well, unearned: they were more about the reader than about the actual story. 

It helped having a beta who is both smart and scary, and wouldn’t hesitate to tell me if something wasn’t working. A big issue with the “no feedback in fanfic” convo is decontextualized “feedback” from random readers is not really useful! You have people coming from all sorts of backgrounds, all levels of reading comprehension, all sorts of contexts. Everyone can give you their *reaction* to your work, of course, but without that context of critique—the thing you have with a beta/editor, or if you’re in a writing workshop or group—it’s rare that some rando can give you truly useful feedback. 

But! That brings me back to 9 out of 10. I think, with that many people weighing in, it’s worth doing a little bit of serious consideration. Just read back over the story. If you can see ways that you zigged when you were signalling that you were going to zag, then your commenters might have a point. If they’re guessing character X might do Y next, and you’ve planned to have him do Z but actually haven’t done the legwork to make Z seem like a sensible next step, then that might be a fair read. Especially when they say, “I expect X will do Y,” try to figure out to the root of that expectation. Is this about the story, or is it about them? 

Because no audience is some neutral set of readers, and fandom even less so. People might tell you to do something because they hate one character and love another. People might hate your ship and for some reason are choosing to read it anyway. People have a million different contexts they bring to reading a work and not infrequently, they are reading through sets of expectations formed by other pieces of media that have very little to do with your own. 

4) tl;dr

The ~wisdom~ of the crowd is not inherently greater than the wisdom of the writer. Many people in fandom are very thoughtful readers—probably some of the most thoughtful readers out there! But plenty...are not. And that’s fine! They’re obviously still free to comment. I’d love to say, “ignore them, write for yourself, you’re writing the story you wanna write,” but I know how frustrating this must be for you. So give them a little consideration, but not too much. And most importantly, if you have a beta, ask them their opinion of these comments—and if you don’t have a beta, get one! Because a reader you know and whose opinions you trust is so much more valuable than random anon comments, no matter the circumstances.