#a course in miracles lesson 1

[mevbotcrypto]

David’s Guide to ACIM: How to Live a Life of Love and Peace

In a world that often feels chaotic and filled with stress, finding a path to love and peace can seem like a distant dream. However, A Course in Miracles (ACIM) offers profound teachings that guide individuals toward a life rooted in love, understanding, and inner peace. David's journey with ACIM transformed his life, and in this guide, he shares his insights on how to live a life of love and peace through the principles of ACIM.

Understanding Love and Peace in ACIM

At its core, ACIM teaches that love is our natural state. It is the essence of who we are and the driving force behind all creation. Peace, on the other hand, is a reflection of that love—a state of being that arises when we align our thoughts and actions with love instead of fear. David learned that by embracing love, he could cultivate lasting peace within himself and extend it to others.

Step 1: Acknowledge Your True Nature

The first step to living a life of love and peace is to acknowledge your true nature. ACIM emphasizes that we are all created in the image of love and that our true identity transcends our ego and worldly identities. David realized that understanding his true nature as a being of love was crucial for his spiritual journey.

To begin this process, David practiced daily affirmations that affirmed his worth and connection to love. Statements like, “I am a being of love,” helped him internalize this truth, paving the way for a deeper understanding of himself and his place in the world.

Step 2: Practice Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a cornerstone of ACIM and a vital step in living a life of love and peace. Holding onto grievances only serves to keep us trapped in fear and separation. David learned that true forgiveness is not about condoning harmful actions but about releasing the burden of resentment and judgment.

To practice forgiveness, David began by reflecting on past hurts and asking himself, “What would love do in this situation?” This perspective allowed him to see the humanity in others and to extend compassion rather than judgment. As he forgave, he felt a profound sense of liberation, opening his heart to love and peace.

Step 3: Shift Your Perception

One of the key teachings of ACIM is that our perceptions shape our reality. David discovered that by shifting his perception from fear-based thinking to love-based thinking, he could transform his experience of the world.

Whenever he encountered challenges, David consciously chose to ask, “How can I see this situation through the lens of love?” This shift in perspective allowed him to approach difficulties with compassion and understanding, rather than anger or frustration. By embracing love in his perceptions, David cultivated an inner environment conducive to peace.

Step 4: Cultivate Inner Peace

Inner peace is essential for living a life filled with love. David learned that peace is not dependent on external circumstances; it is a state of being that can be cultivated through mindfulness and self-awareness.

To nurture inner peace, David established a daily practice of meditation and reflection. By setting aside time to quiet his mind and connect with his inner self, he found solace and clarity. This commitment to cultivating peace within allowed him to navigate life’s challenges with grace and composure.

Step 5: Trust in the Holy Spirit

ACIM teaches that the Holy Spirit is our inner guide, always available to help us navigate life’s challenges with love and wisdom. David learned the importance of trusting this inner guidance to lead him toward love and peace.

Whenever he faced a decision or felt overwhelmed, David would pause and ask for the guidance of the Holy Spirit. He practiced listening to this inner voice, which often directed him toward choices that aligned with love. By trusting the Holy Spirit, David experienced a deeper sense of peace and reassurance in his life.

Step 6: Embrace Vulnerability

Living a life of love and peace requires embracing vulnerability. Many people fear vulnerability, viewing it as a weakness. However, David learned that vulnerability is a powerful expression of love and authenticity.

By allowing himself to be vulnerable, David created deeper connections with others and fostered an environment of trust and understanding. He realized that being open about his feelings and struggles invited love and compassion into his life. This authenticity enriched his relationships and deepened his experience of peace.

Step 7: Set Intentions Aligned with Love

Setting clear intentions is a powerful way to align our actions with love. David learned that by consciously choosing intentions that resonate with love and peace, he could create a roadmap for his life.

Every morning, David would take a moment to reflect on his intentions for the day. Whether it was to practice kindness, show gratitude, or extend compassion, setting these intentions helped him stay focused on living a life rooted in love. This practice cultivated a sense of purpose and direction in his daily activities.

Step 8: Surround Yourself with Positive Influences

The people we surround ourselves with can significantly impact our ability to live a life of love and peace. David recognized the importance of cultivating relationships that uplift and inspire him.

He actively sought out friendships and communities that shared similar values and encouraged spiritual growth. By surrounding himself with positive influences, David fortified his commitment to love and peace, creating a supportive environment for his journey.

Step 9: Share Love with Others

One of the most beautiful ways to live a life of love and peace is to share that love with others. ACIM teaches that love multiplies when shared, creating a ripple effect that extends beyond ourselves.

David made it a priority to extend kindness and love to those around him. Whether through small acts of kindness, volunteering, or simply being present for someone in need, he found joy in sharing love. This practice not only enriched his own life but also fostered a sense of connection and community.

Conclusion: Embrace a Life of Love and Peace

Living a life of love and peace is a journey that requires intention, commitment, and the willingness to embrace the teachings of ACIM. David’s guide illustrates that by acknowledging our true nature, practicing forgiveness, and shifting our perceptions, we can cultivate a life filled with love and peace.

As you embark on your own journey, remember that you have the power to choose love over fear. By trusting in the Holy Spirit, embracing vulnerability, and sharing love with others, you can create a life that reflects the beauty and joy of love.

In a world that often feels chaotic, your commitment to love and peace can be a beacon of hope for yourself and others. Embrace this journey with an open heart, and watch as love and peace unfold in your life.

[thanatika]

I want to know about comphet dankovsky

the people clamor for comphet dankovsky. well alright.

this might be a little long and disjointed, but i'll try to explain my full thought process. it'll be long and very off-topic.

as a tl;dr, the basic #1 reason i have this headcanon: it fits very well with how seriously repressed dankovsky seems to be, especially in P1, and especially when it comes to love:

of course, it's not just love — he also acts deeply uncomfortable whenever the topic of mental illness comes up, or whenever someone cries in front of him. but this just goes to show that emotional repression and denial seem to be standard coping techniques that he falls back on. (this is reinforced by the quarantine DLC, where apparently one of the devs has said that the bodies of bandits he kills disappearing is meant to represent him dissociating and repressing it.)

this coping mechanism is also lampshaded in the changeling route, where the npc bachelor makes an impressive discovery — he figures out that he's a doll all on his own, and then decides that this is the lesson to derive from it:

"the essence of my discovery", indeed. it's a little unclear what he means by "deny yourself" — deny his true nature as a mere toy, and the corresponding mental breakdown that would understandably accompany that? or maybe it's to deny his own self fulfillment of what he actually wishes to pursue. clara's next conversation with him is their last one, in the cathedral, and even right at the end, he's still conflicted by his own desire to preserve the town (which is supported by his own route, where he's given dialogue options that imply an intention to save it even on day 12):

which, notably, he connects to allying with the haruspex, an option he immediately discounts because "the only thing artemy wants" is related to his love interest, aglaya. (honestly, the way dankovsky talks about artemy in relation to aglaya at the end of all three routes is really easy to read as some kind of incredibly jilted unrequited love triangle. but that would make this post twice as long, so anyway.) clara's exchange with dankovsky in the cathedral ends with this:

test failed! but why is this the wrong answer? and why does clara interrupt him to guess what he's going to say? well, it's actually a little meta moment, a reference to the fact that clara is imbued with more awareness than the other player characters, to the point of having some knowledge of previous routes. the player-as-changeling predicts that he's driven by love, because the player-as-bachelor can admit exactly this to artemy, during their cathedral conversation in the bachelor route:

aside from the loaded daniil-artemy-aglaya dynamic, it stands out to me that the only way dankovsky can bring himself to admit aloud to being "driven by love" is if the player controlling him prompts him to. he won't do it on his own. he won't be a great talker right now, especially on this topic.

though to be fair, he does say "i love the polyhedron" to clara, which has some significance as well. dankovsky sympathizes with the polyhedron, makes an emphatic defense for it being "worthy of love". his affinity for it is more obviously connected to the fact that he sees it as something that defies the laws of inevitability, as something similar to his own work, as he explains to the inquisitor: "I feel slightly envious. Like me, its creator has tried to break through to where men are not allowed. But, unlike me, he succeeded." and therefore, a miracle worth preserving. but the polyhedron itself is a product of love — peter's love for nina — and is spoken about in terms of love by peter himself:

the polyhedron loves, but it's a doomed, unrequited love, incompatible with life. dankovsky's dialogue options about the polyhedron by the end game are a mixed bag: sometimes he talks about it in these romantic terms, sometimes he's much more practical in his defense of it, hyping up its antiseptic properties. probably it's a way of allowing the player to choose what they think, but it may also serve to emphasize dankovsky's hesitance to express this emotional aspect of his sympathy for it. but it does seem like the doomed nature of the polyhedron is a major point of sympathy to him. the same goes for the utopians in general, according to the letter he sends to the haruspex declaring his allegience:

which gets to the topic of how the concept of dankovsky and compulsory heterosexuality relates to the utopians.

for that, i first have to point out something that i don't really see people talk about ever: the way that sexuality in general is moralized by the three different factions in the game.

the utopians are the most obvious about this: they're kind of debauched, aren't they? at least by socially conservative standards which place procreative heterosexuality and traditional gender roles as the ideal. all of the canonical lgbt characters fell under the utopian banner at some point: bisexuals andrey and eva, lesbian yulia. even beyond sexuality in those terms, you can see non-normative sexuality in things like eva's polyamory, the somewhat inverted gender roles of victor and nina's relationship (which is said to have been a common topic of gossip among the townsfolk), the fact that maria seems intent to either follow her mother's path as a non-traditional wife or to forgo a marriage partner altogether, the uncomfortably enmeshed dynamic between andrey and peter, simon and georgiy's lack of heirs. the utopians have been stated in developer interviews to be a (not particularly sympathetic) metaphor for social revolutionary movements, which often incorporated progressive thinking in terms of sexuality and gender. so i think that's where this comes from, although it does also feel a bit "sexual deviance as a signifier of immorality". the classic gay disney villain trope.

and the humbles feel even more like they're playing into that trope. in addition to yulia, their ranks include aspity and bad grief — who i would be tempted to include in the list of canonical lgbt characters, considering aspity's comments about women's bodies and the suggestive comments that bad grief can make towards both the bachelor and the haruspex. it's also worth noting that the only thing separating the humbles from the utopians, at least as far as the humbles are concerned, is that the humbles are repenting sinners while the utopians are ultimately unrepentant. alexander and katerina saburov also fail to live up to heteronormative standards, because their union is non-procreative, but at least they have the decency to be wringing their hands over this. and this view of utopians as unsaved humbles is why clara spends half of her quests trying and failing to convert various utopians to the cult of humility.

with all of that going on with the other two factions, the termites are starkly different in comparison. the termites are a faction of children, so there's not much about actual sexuality, thank god, but their whole deal is shockingly heteronormative nonetheless. the termites, at the end of the game, are preoccupied with setting up traditional arranged marriages with each other under the guidance of capella:

(note to patho2 heads: this is classic where "artemy adopts sticky and murky in particular" isn't really a thing. still weird with how much younger murky is, but khan and capella do have the same age gap in classic. so i think this is all meant to be read as a childish playacting of the sorts of political arranged marriages that were once more commonplace, or it's just the problematic game being problematic.)

overall, they seem rather unenthusiastic about these future marriages. capella refers to her future engagement with khan as "the saddest" thing she has to do and "self-abnegation", while sticky is more casually disappointed by his future options. artemy is also the only healer to have an implied love interest reward tied to choosing his ending — you could argue the same for dankovsky and maria, but this is disproven by word of god and the bachelor's absence from his own ending cinematic — a heterosexual love interest, of course. because this is a big part of what the termite ending represents: it's framed as "new beginnings", but "new beginning" is really just a return to tradition. to the perpetuation of normative social values, the lack of any scary social upheaval. the Law. just look at how the inquisitor, the biggest proponent of the termite ending aside from capella, describes how the Law relates to self-discovery:

"an attempt to cognize oneself is a provocation" is interesting phrasing when compared with dankovsky's "self-denial is the meaning here" discovery from the same route. i used the sloppy 2005 translation because it includes a whole additional sentence that was cut from the remaster, so i'll also share the 2005 version of that self-denial exchange. rather than say "It's only fitting that you should reject" your nature, clara's retort to him was originally more explicit in putting a religious morality on human nature, and his in particular:

but i'm getting sidetracked. the main point i have in breaking down how sexuality is moralized between the different factions is to point out that for one, dankovsky's affinity with the utopians allies him with a group that is portrayed as debauched by conservative standards of sexuality, which to me has always been an indicator in headcanoning him as gay, secondary to, you know. things that he says. but the fact that he never fully joins the utopians is part of why he seems so repressed to me.

the fact that he doesn't appear in his own ending cinematic (it's more like maria's ending cinematic, really) has been confirmed to be intentional, and even on the last day of the game, his dialogue options towards his bound imply a certain amount of discomfort with them. the one exception might be peter, but dankovsky's final conversation with peter has two ending options: to say that the utopians and their future town are doomed to fail, or to support peter's vision but express regret that the cost of supporting him is bringing "a gang of criminals and scoundrels" into power.

part of dankovsky's schism with the utopians, imo, is that they go "too far" — they're "too weird" for him, is what was said when someone asked in a forum why he doesn't appear in the utopian ending, iirc. and there's something to be said for how the utopians are portrayed overall as very personally liberated, egoist, a bit hedonistic in some cases... and then dankovsky, who appears very buttoned down and whose dialogue options at times lean more towards agreement with alexander saburov than with the kains on the issue of town management — very law and order. it's an interesting contradiction to his character overall: someone who's so invested in breaking natural laws, in breaking laws of inevitability, but who still makes emphatic statements about enforcing law and order in the town, who still seems invested in performing and projecting a certain kind of social respectability.

the bachelor route day 2 conversation with andrey about "unnatural orifices" is one of the best encapsulations of this imo, so i'll break the whole conversation down to try and explain.

the conversation starts off with andrey offering booze to dankovsky, and calling him a "prisoner of science" — the first of what will become an ongoing pattern throughout the game in which dankovsky's scientific "rationality" is referenced as something that limits him, either by leaving him cold and heartless or by skewing his mindset so that he can't see beyond his institutional academic perspective.

dankovsky turns the conversation to what he wants to complain about — the town's local traditions inconveniencing his work — but andrey takes it as an opportunity to start talking about the "intimacy" of making holes in bodies, including in a sexual context. andrey as a character likes to be provocative, dankovsky's options are various levels of discomfort, disinterest, and dismissiveness. (if there's one thing you can't accuse him of, it's "locker room talk" — he responds with similar discomfort when peter tries to gossip to him about katerina sleeping with taxidermy, or tries to tell him about the sexualized naked women he hallucinates when aglaya visits his loft).

he tries to dismiss andrey's crude line of thinking, which is criticized as an appeal to capital social mores. and then andrey starts talking about unnatural holes.

don't get me wrong, this conversation is about murder — and, by way of metaphor, the polyhedron, which was created by puncturing an unnatural hole in the body of the earth. but andrey beginning the conversation by talking about sex, combined with their university acquaintanceship alluded to in their first conversation (getting in bar fights together and everything) leads me to read a secondary double entendre into this conversation. not to mention andrey's canonically implied bisexuality, some of which is likely inspired by the character taking inspiration from benvenuto cellini, a bisexual renaissance-era sculptor who was repeatedly prosecuted for sodomy. dankovsky accuses andrey of "creating unnatural holes in bodies", which has been linked to dissection, murder, and sex from the start of the conversation.

andrey makes a vague reference to the fact that he did possibly kill someone with a pencil — the earth, via his insane architectural designs — but it's "just a theory". phew. then he swiftly changes the subject before dankovsky can ask too many questions, and ends the conversation by making another invitation for dankovsky to join him in drinking and debauchery. "no need to restrict ourselves", etc.

i'll note that an invitation to drink together is levied again at dankovsky a little later by eva, and in that case is explicitly implied to be an invitation to sleep together. in both instances, dankovsky wants nothing to do with it. his first option is to tell andrey to go right ahead and drink alone — enjoy your liver damage, buddy, couldn't be me. his second option is to accept the drink... but not in public. either way, being told to "open up everything that's supposed to lie hidden under wraps" is dankovsky's cue to leave the conversation.

a reach? yes, but that's how i interpret the subtext of these conversations as they relate to dankovsky's repression and his view of the utopians.

honestly, i've made the case for him being homosexual and repressed here more than i've made the case for him to be engaging in compulsory heterosexuality. so i'll end by pointing out that while i've typically seen people headcanon a character as comphet to explain a canonical "hetero" relationship or attraction they express, there isn't much like that going on with dankovsky to talk about, at least in classic.

sure, he has some dialogue options with women in classic that are flirtatious, but it never seems like the dialogue is leaning the player more towards picking those options than not picking them — there are just as many options to express disinterest in women being attracted to him, and sometimes they're the only response options, which makes me more inclined to view those as "canonical". so, really my headcanon comes more from this view of him as rather repressed, and specifically that messy contradiction of his character in desiring to move past societal restrictions while also never fully letting go of his own, the fact that he seems to feel the need to "prove himself" by society's standards. and, well, his practicality. his study of thanatology seems to have left his reputation in the capital somewhat smeared, likely due to the connotations with necromancy and violating the natural order. i could see him attempting to salvage his reputation somewhat by trying to prove that he's totally a perfectly normal guy who can be in socially normative relationships, and not just some weird academic radical.

pathologic 2 and marble nest don't say much for or against this, aside from dankovsky's "I never even told her how I felt���" voiceline, which is likely about eva. but we don't know enough about the context or their relationship, and will likely have to wait until pathologic 3 to find out.

though, i will say that the quarantine DLC had an exchange that i'm taking as ammunition for this headcanon:

guy who invents a hypothetical wife just for a hypothetical scenario where he has to give up that wife. and then is immediately told by his close female colleague that """given the way he lives""" he'll never have a wife... okay.

okay that's it. congrats if you made it this far into my rambling haha.

[echantedtoon]

Unforseen Part 1

Your entire town was haunted, that's why barely anyone lived in the district and those whom did rarely left their homes unless it was absolutely necessary. You never believed in spirits until you started encountering them outside your home and one in particular kept following you around. 

(Homicipher au where the Ghost Apartment residents are spirits haunting a town and Y/n isn't a killer. Will include stuff not cannon to the game. Including none cannon guesses to some of the characters backstories.

Warnings for blood, death mentioned, and reader cutting her hand on a rock by accident.)

Have you ever heard of the phrase 'if its too good to be true then it probably isn't'?

That phrase exists because often when something does sound too good to be true it almost always is the case. However sometimes we had to learn that important life lesson the hard way, and you were one of those people who learnt first had you shouldn't take everything at face value while also never taking anything for granted. 

Even now as you attempted to ignore the figure peeping over the other side of your desk, dark hair cascading from a pale grey head without any eyes to be seen. The figure being only barely lit up by the light of your laptop as you attempted to do some online courses and not pay attention to the curious figure that blended into the shadows perfectly. 

Key word being tried because of the fact you couldn't ignore him when a hand curious reached out across the desk and snatched away your mouse quickly vanishing back into the darkness before your hand could stop him. Instead your hand smacked down onto the hardwood with a thud.

"Hey!" F/c orbs glared harshly into the darkness beyond the lit screen. "Give that back!"

"HEHEHEHE!!" A high pitched laughter was your only playful response from the blackness.

A sigh escaped your lips. It wasn't always like this. It had only started when you had moved to this quiet town in the middle of nowhere. You needed a place to stay after rent had gotten too high and your ex roommates decided to bail on you without a warning. So facing homelessness and struggling with money, you did what anyone in your shoes did. Look online for the cheapest place you could find. Your desperate search for any cheap apartments, anyone who was renting a room, ANYTHING! That's when you came across what seemed to be a miracle.

A small house in a town you never heard of just a few miles away from where you currently worked. It was a cheap house. For what you were renting the apartment for two years you could pay and completely own your own house fully. Something like that was like a god send, but you were HIGHLY SUSPICIOUS. This had to be a trick. A scam. There's no way that anyone would sell a house this cheap without it being a scam of some kind. There just HAD to be a catch. But you were very desperate, and you decided to contact the number listed for the real estate agent. What the heck? There was no harm in talking to the guy and checking out the place. At worst it'd just be another dead end. 

The man seemed very professional over the phone and answered all your questions politely just like the realtor that you rented your old apartment from. So really there wasn't any red flags then. You took that as a go ahead to set a date for a walkthrough of the house and see if you really wanted to go through with the purchase however... Something still didn't seem quite right. You looked up the realtor's name and found him to be a legit business man in that profession so it wasn't likely it was a scam but the off feeling didn't go away so you opted to bring along your dad on the day in question to go see the house.

"Gosh. The place sure is in the middle of nowhere isn't it?"

That was your dad's first comment about the area you were in. Following the location given to you leading you to a whole town in the middle of nowhere. Surrounded by thick woods and old roads. Perhaps that was the second red flag seeing an entire town so empty. So.. abandoned like this. It doesn't make much sense. Maybe this was a scam trying to sell old houses in the middle of nowhere. You felt better having brought along your father but still something felt off. Eventually you found the house, and the realtor man waiting for you on the porch in front of said house. Everything seemed normal. He greeted you both, shook your hands, and after a few icebreaker sentences asked if you'd like to look at the inside of the house.

From the outside it looked completely normal. Maybe a bit run down and old and the lawn needed some mowing, but nothing that screamed red flags. The guy was as normal, polite, and professional as he had been on the phone as he walked both yourself and your dad throughout the house and spoke about when it was built, how long the last owners had lived there, and the few repairs made to it. Both of you went through the usual testing the lights, and turning on the kitchen sink to check the running water. Everything seemed to be working. By the cheap price you were expecting to find a real fixer upper here. 

"Doesn't anyone else live in this town?," you eventually asked the man curiosity finally getting the better of you.

"Oh yes. Mostly older folks and their carers but there's two of three families too and some caretakers for the houses until they can be sold," he confirmed.

"Then why does it look like the entire town is empty."

It was finally then that the realtor looked worried about something. "Well a lot of people prefer to live closer to the nearest town with active businesses, but I will be honest. Most people pass over here because of the rumors surrounding the area."

"Rumors?"

"Yes. I'm afraid that many people seem to believe that the town and surrounding woods are haunted. I don't believe that of course but superstition can scare away a lot of people."

Ah. So that was the entire reason why the house was dirty cheap. No one in their right mind would want to buy a haunted house in the middle of no where miles from the nearest town with any stores. That'd be pretty inconvenient for a lot of people but desperation and fear of homelessness was a powerful factor in your decision to make the purchase, signing on the papers and moving everything you owned with your parents' help into your new house. And everything seemed to be perfectly fine the first few weeks. 

They mostly consisted of you cleaning out your house and fixing up the lawn to get things in order. Moving your furniture around for for own needs. Fixing up an Internet connection for online classes. Things such as that. It really wasn't very exciting but nothing bothered you.

But something still felt off about the silence.

It wasn't the peaceful nature silence that you would experience on nature hikes or drives through the country, it was more of the creepy silence you'd seen in way too many horror movies when all the animals went silent when the monster was getting closer and closer. Even though you saw nothing wrong with anything. The unusual silence was creepy as was the unusual emptiness of the town but you concluded it was still better than being homeless. For a roof over your head with working water and electricity, you'd put up with the silence for now. Besides you could always move again once you graduated college and saved up enough money to move again.

However you did encounter one of the locals at last. The only working store just outside of town, mostly used as a pitstop by others just driving through but sometimes you'd stop for snacks before making the hours long run to the next town over for groceries. He was an odd older man whom looked the same age as your grandfather. He eyed you from the window before you made your way inside and began digging in your pockets for your credit card to pay for gas. 

"Just gas?" He grunted out.

You nodded pulling out the card. "Yep. Just gas."

"Good. It's not a good idea to stay in this area after dark." He just watched you swipe your card. "Take my advice and don't stop until you reach the next town over."

"Oh. I'm not passing through, I live here," you clarified making him raise a brow, "I just moved in a few weeks ago."

He grunted. "Then they decided to not make themselves known to you yet. Or they haven't noticed that fresh prey came right in."

You looked at him blinking. "Excuse me?"

"The spirits of course!", he clarified with narrowed eyes, leaning forward to make you lean back. "They roam these parts you know."

"Uh .So I heard."

"You don't believe me." He scoffed rolling his eyes. "The non-believers are always the first ones to go first. The fact you hadn't seen them yet means you're either lucky or they're planning on doing something big for you."

"Uh..." You weren't sure what to say to that but leaned back when he leaned over the register beckoning you to come forward.

"Let me give you some advice for how to survive around here. There's certain rules to follow if you want to avoid trouble. Firstly, never go out after dark. That's when they're most active but they can still come out during the day as well so keep your eyes open at all times too. However if you must go out at night then make it brief and always keep at least one light on. They absolutely love the dark."

You took a step back to avoid the way he was almost in your face however that didn't stop him from holding up his hand with two fingers.

"Don't look them directly in the eyes and ignore them all times if you absolutely can. If you initiate contact then they'll take that as an invitation to continue contact." A third finger. "There's a lot of them around here but most of them are harmless and just long lost spirits still roaming around such as that poor Bride of the man who was in the bad fires years ago. However there's quite a few of them that's quite dangerous."

"Danger..ous?"

He slowly nodded. "Yep! The first ones that come to mind is that one that looks crazy and carries around the giant machete. Cross him the wrong way and you might join the spirits but he usually wonders the woods and doesn't come into town too often so I wouldn't worry too much about him. It's Scartella that I'm more worried about."

"Scarletella??" You were very confused as he nodded. "Who's he?"

"He gets his name from the bright red clothes and hair he sports, and the rather unusual red umbrella he always seems to carry around. He only shows up when it rains but by fair he's the most deadly. If he approaches you and ask for your name do not under any circumstances answer him! He'll steal your soul away!"

"Uh...right." This guy was crazy and watched way too many horror movies! Slowly you tucked your card back into your pocket since it was paid. "I'm going to go now-"

"Then there's the fellow who just likes to creep in gaps and crevices and ask for organs. He's completely harmless after all as long as you say no. He'll pout but he'll leave you be. Then there's the fellow who's always helping that disembodied head. He's mostly harmless but has taken some corpses for his morbid research. Just don't try harming the head and he'll be ok with you-"

"I best be going!", you proclaimed loudly before turning on your heel and walking towards the door. "Thanks for the gas but I REALLY better get going." And get away from this crazy guy.

"Don't say that I didn't warn you!", you heard him call after you as the bell chimed above the door.

You didn't look back. Just got into your car and drove all the way home feeling your hair stand on end from the creepy encounter. That was definitely spooky but you chose to ignore it in favor of getting home. Out of curiosity you decided to look up the area on Guggle just to see what would pop up and was surprised to find so many urban legends surrounding the area. There was TONS of them. From the tragic tale of a bride dying on her wedding day long ago to someone being executed by having their head chopped off to even sightings of a strange person in a wheelchair said to have been a patient whom died in a hospital that once stood here. 

However you didn't find any legitimate records anywhere to back up these legends. The only confirmed death registered for this area was a camper who got lost in the woods and was later found deceased from a tree having fallen and crushing him and that was two years ago. There wasn't any urban legends of a deceased camper around to add to the mix. After scrolling through the pages and pages of legends you called it quits convinced they were nothing but what they were.

Just urban legends without any truth to back them up.

That all would change one fateful night. You had driven hours to the nearby town to shop and visit family, so you got home late. Everything was fine. The sun had just set as you stepped out of your car bag of groceries in one hand and house keys in the other as you approached the front door. Nothing but silence was all the streets offered you as you fiddled with the lock and letting the door creak open a bit as you went to go put the key back into your pocket-

"Give finger?"

You snapped up at the sudden voice only to find a face in the gap of the door staring at you-

You screamed bloody murder. You screech echoing out through the streets and the bag falling from your hands. Bread and apples went thudding along the porch as you turned to run back to your car in a panic. The sounds of a car door slamming behind you echoed down the streets as you fumbled with the keys to your car. The rippling sounds of a revving engine and screeching tires was the only things left behind in the darkness. You didn't stop out of fear until you got to the little gas station where you fumbled with shaking hands to call the police.

"Hello? Police! I need help! Someone broke into my house!"

I took hours for a squad car to get to where you were at which point you gave a statement before leading them back to your house. The door was still slightly sharp and your groceries were still scattered about the porch where they were dropped. You stayed right across the street watching with shaking hands as they entered your home and lights turned on as you saw their figures watching through your home. After a while they came back out without anyone in cuffs. 

"There's no signs of anyone being inside the home, and no forcibly entry."

"But there WAS something there! I saw him in the doorway!!"

No matter what you said the police had nothing else and left leaving you standing there in the streets in front of your house. You couldn't get yourself to go inside opting to sleep in your locked car that night before going on the next morning with a tire iron from the trunk in search of the guy you saw checking every closet, under your bed, and even in the kitchen cabinets but found no one. It was both relieving and weirded you out. 

You know you saw someone last night! He was right there! Was it just a hallucination? You had been pretty swamped with work and homework so maybe all the lack of sleep combined with hearing those ghost stories all the time we're starting to get to you. Yeah. That must've been it.

You would've just been satisfied to go on with pretending to have never seen him before if it wasn't the last time you had a paranormal encounter with a spirit. The second encounter you had was with a weird ghost that looked like a bloodied nurse. It was when you were outside really early one morning. You had gotten some flower seeds and wanted to make your house look less creepy by planting some flowers near it, however first you had to clear away some rocks where you wanted to plant them. It'd take a while to make a flower bed so you wanted to get started early. The sun was barely starting to come up when you started moving some of the rocks when you grabbed one and a moment later you were dropping it in pain.

"Ow!" Instinctively balling your hand into a fist and clutching it to your chest, you hissed in pain. Slowly you unclenched your hand to take a look at the cut upon your palm. "You gotta be kidding me. Well that's just great." A sizable cut was across your palm from the jagged edges of a rock and even in the dim light you could tell it was bleeding. "Ow, own, own. That hurts."

"Your hand?" 

You jumped at the feminine sounding voice next to you and when you turned...You froze. 

What you were met with was a woman covered in blood.

Or you assumed it had been a woman by the sound of the voice and the fact she wore a nurse's gown along with a hair net and medical mask. However you only froze meeting the black void like orbs that was in the place of eyes and the fact her entire outfit was covered in copper colored stains.

"Your hand?" She repeated holding up her own hands "injured? Sick?"

You couldn't say anything. Too frozen to speak or do anything as she produced a roll of bandages from no where and a few seconds later your entire hand was wrapped up. 

"Heal! Fix!", she exclaimed loudly satisfied with the care she gave before turning to walk away.

She walked across the lawn slowly disappearing into thin air and vanishing as if she had never existed as the sun slowly rose higher and higher. You stayed standing there frozen until the warmth of the sunlight made you flinch and finally move around.  You couldn't write it off as a freak hallucination from stress and lack of sleep this time. Perhaps if there was no proof of her ever being there you could've done that but there was NO way you could logically explain why your entire hand was wrapped up in old gauze. But BOY you tried! Tried to convince your terrified self that you were imagining things and you had wrapped up your own hand without remembering...

Yeah. That didn't work.

You couldn't step out of your house for a good while too afraid of what else you might witness and your lights were kept on nearly every night but that didn't stop the random hauntings you'd witness. One day you went out during the day a pair of muddy footsteps just walked down the sidewalk appeared on the ground next to you. You jumped back and watched in disbelief as they zoomed down the sidewalk and disappeared around the corner leaving behind muddy footsteps in plain daylight for anyone to see.

Another time you were just in the kitchen and you peered out of the window to look out only to scream and scramble back as a sheep's head popped up from under the windowsill. The child like entity giggled at their mischief before running away completely disappearing. Sometimes you didn't hear them at all but caught a glimpse of something peeking out at you from time to time from a crack in the doorway or an open drawer and one time under your bed. It might've been the same entity you saw the first time these things started and you started the habit of keeping everything closed. Sometimes you saw legitimate ghosts like out of the movies floating about randomly and one ghost stereotypically under a sheet dragging along the ground down the road.

It all was eventually too much and you decided now would be the perfect time to go stay with your parents for a long, long while. Packing just a suitcase, you got in your car and just drove out of town. Stopping only by the old gas station just outside of town to get gas for the long drive and maybe some snacks. The old man from before of course was there and the first thing he did seeing your frazzled frame was to throw his head back and howl in laughter!

"So I see they finally decided to come out to you, Young Lady! Tell me do you believe in the supernatural now?," he asked between laughs.

You only managed a deadpanned tired look. "Leave me alone. I just want some gas."

"Who was it? Mr. Gap?," he asked ignoring your words genuinely interested. "He's always usually the first one to show up and he's the most frequent fellow."

"Mr...What?"

"Mr. Gap," he repeated, "That's what locals around here call him because of the fact he appears whenever there's gaps between things. Almost every spook here has a nickname like it since no one knows their true names. Which ones did you see?" He sat back arms crossed amused eminencly. "I'll probably be able to tell you their names."

You weren't sure how to feel, what to think, or what to say...but you couldn't tell someone that you were seeing ghosts. Your family and everyone else would think you're crazy! Maybe you were but you were sane enough to know that you weren't seeing things and at least this man knew who you were talking about and believed in them..So you told him the few entities you've been seeing.

"That's Mr. Gap alright." He nodded along with your story. "Oh. So you met Ms. Nurse. She's helpful when she wants to be." He laughed again. "Hooded Child is always playing tricks on people." And then the ghosts- "Mr. Cloth is the only ghost I know of that wears a sheet over him."

"What do I do to make them stop?"

"Stop? This whole place was theirs way before you and I came along young lady! If anything you're trespassing on their home. They won't stop living how they've always lived, that's like telling a bird to stop chirping or a flower to not smell nice. They're not going to do it just because you find it inconvenient. I'm sure if you were a ghost you'd certainly be annoyed by people acting that way towards you."

"I wouldn't be haunting people and scaring the living daylights out of them!" You shook your head. "Can I just buy gas please?" 

He shrugged. "Sure. Just don't say that I didn't tell you so."

You bought the gas and filled up your car quickly and got back in. Only when you tried to turn it on...Nothing happened. You kept turning the key but nothing kept happening. Until you defeated got out of your car and slunk back into the station to the old man's surprise.

"Back already?"

"There's something wrong with my engine. C-Can you help me?"

"Sure! I've worked on cars before." He got up and you both went out to take a look under the hood. You watched as he hummed and fiddled around with a few things before looking at you. "How old is this car?"

You shrugged. "I-I don't know. It's preowned." You couldn't afford a new car on your college kid budget.

"Well that might be your problem." He closed the hood with a loud THUD. "The battery's dead."

You stared at him gobsmacked. "WHAT?! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET BACK?...Can you drive me?"

He shook his head. "I live in the connecting house and I own no car. Never needed one. The nearest mechanic is in the town over and they wouldn't be here until morning. You can either sleep in your car for the night or your welcome to sleep inside but you'd have to sleep on the floor."

"No thank you." No WAY you were staying with a stranger or sleeping in your car in the middle of nowhere. Looking up you noticed that the sign was only barely in the middle of the sky, that meant it was just almost noon. "If I start back now, I can probably make it back home before dark."

"You sure?"

You nodded. "Positive." You stepped back to walk back down the road where you came from. "I'll be fine. They don't show up a lot during the day anyways."

The older man hummed. "Alright but you be careful on your way back. Sometimes the woods can be more dangerous than the town."

***********

[candycandy00]

Once Upon a Time - A Toji x Reader Fanfic Part 3 (Final)

Retold fairytales featuring the JJK men! This is Snow White featuring Toji! You live in a snowy village and have a crush on your handsome neighbor Toji, unaware that he’s been hired by the queen to kill you.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Read Choso x Rapunzel Here!

Read Sukuna x Sleeping Beauty Here!

Read Gojo x Cinderella Here!

Read Higuruma x Little Mermaid Here!

Smut. 18+. Fem Reader. Reader as Snow White. Age gap (Reader is early 20’s, Toji is mid 30’s). Rough sex. Slight size difference kink. Death of side characters.

Dividers by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more and @benkeibear!

Toji rushes forward and sinks to his knees beside her body, pulling it into his arms. Fuck, this wasn’t supposed to happen! She was supposed to be safe here! 

As he looks down at her face, seemingly peaceful, he’s reminded of discovering his wife’s body. She’d been battling an illness for months, and one morning he left to go hunt for their supper, only to return and find her dead. 

The trauma of that morning is seeping back into his mind as he cradles the body of his new lover. He hadn’t even realized how much he cared about her until this moment. 

“Damn you women who burst into my life, telling me you love me!” he yells in frustration. “All you do is fuck me up when you leave me like this!”

He slams his fist into the floor beside them, the wood splintering under the force. This is why he tried so hard to not get attached. He can’t handle losing another one. He folds himself over, placing his head on her chest.

Wait. Is that a heartbeat? Toji listens carefully, pressing one ear to the space where her heart would be. It’s faint, but it’s definitely beating! 

He pulls back and examines her more closely, smelling her lips to try to determine the type of poison used. It’s familiar! He lays her gently on the floor and retrieves the apple, looking it over and sniffing it as well. 

In his training to become an assassin, he had to learn about a lot of poisons. He didn’t pay too much attention, as he preferred other means of killing his targets, but a few lessons stuck with him. He remembers being taught about a poison that puts the victim in a death like state, with very shallow breathing and slow heart rate, for three hours before ultimately killing them. 

He also remembers there was a natural antidote, found in a certain plant. 

Toji gets to his feet and tears out of the cabin, racing into the woods to find the plant. The image of this plant was burned into his mind, because to him the blossom resembled a white dagger dripping blood. The petals were pointed, sharp looking, their tips crimson. He also remembers it was a rare plant that bloomed all year long. 

The forest is covered in a blanket of snow, but Toji is fast, raking the snow away from the base of each tree, where the plant is said to grow. 

Over an hour later, at the thirty-seventh tree he checked, Toji finds the plant he was looking for. It’s smaller than he expected, having only seen illustrations of it rather than the real thing, with alarmingly delicate blossoms. How does such a thing survive under the snow? 

He carefully pulls the plant from the ground and rushes back to the cabin, his face red from being exposed to the bitter cold for so long. 

Once back inside, he does a quick check to see if she’s somehow miraculously awakened while he was gone. She hasn’t, of course. But then when has a miracle ever happened for Toji? Best to make your own miracles if you need one. 

He goes to the kitchen and turns on the stove, letting it heat up some water while he prepares the plant. Using a kitchen knife, he chops the plant, blossom and all, into tiny pieces. Then he crushes them into a rough powder before adding them to the boiling water. A few minutes and some quick stirring later, he has the antidote ready, steaming in a cup. 

Being careful not to spill any, he hurries over to his lover’s unconscious body and lowers himself to the floor, then holds her upper half up in his arms. He positions her head at the best angle to avoid letting her strangle, then uses his fingers to pull her mouth open. He starts to drizzle a bit of the antidote into her mouth, but some of it is just leaking back out. 

“Shit!” he yells, then an idea occurs to him. He looks at the swirling brown liquid in the cup, then shrugs and pours the entire thing into his mouth. Then he quickly presses his lips to hers, making a seal, and pushes the antidote into her mouth. He’s in such a hurry that his mind barely registers how disgusting it tastes. 

He remains locked in the kiss for several minutes, making sure all of it goes down her throat before finally breaking away. Then he watches her face intently until her eyes begin to flutter open. 

The first thing you see when you wake up is Toji’s face. He’s looking down at you with a worried expression. When did he get back? And why is he holding you in his lap?

“Toji?” you ask, sitting up. “What’s going on?”

He stands up and helps you to your feet, then asks, “Don’t you remember?”

You think hard. “An old lady stopped by… she said she needed to rest, and she gave me an apple.”

“That was the queen using magic to change her appearance, and the apple was poisoned.”

“Wait, what?!”

Toji urges you to sit down on the couch, then sits beside you. “Someone in town told me an old fruit seller was asking questions in town before heading for the cabin. It sounded suspicious so I ran back here to check on you.”

You look around, half expecting to see a corpse nearby. “Did you see her?”

“No,” he says, “I just found you sprawled out on the floor. Luckily I recognized the poison and remembered how to make the antidote.”

You blink, surprised. “You saved me?”

He grins. “I can’t let the person who swore to pay off my debts die!”

You lean a little closer to him. “Is that the only reason?”

He looks down at your face, then averts his eyes. “And I guess I enjoy fucking you.”

“That’s all?” you ask, so close that you’re practically in his lap again. 

You see a very faint pink tint to his face as he leans slightly away. “Maybe I like having you near me.”

You edge even closer to him. “And?”

He suddenly meets your gaze, his eyes intense. “And I’d tear this whole fucking kingdom apart if someone killed you.”

You feel a smile tugging at your lips. That’s probably the closest thing to a love confession you’re going to get for now. You relax back against the couch and say, “Would you have killed the queen if I died?”

He gives a little smile back. “No, I would’ve ripped her face off then forced her to look at herself in that fancy mirror before shattering it. For someone like her, it would be a hell of a lot worse than death.”

You laugh, finding his capacity for violence for your sake endearing. 

Over the next few days, Toji makes a show of pretending you’re dead. He says the queen probably has agents watching the cabin. He wraps up some pillows in a blanket, making a human-like shape, and buries it in the woods while wearing an angry expression. He even places a few flowers on the “grave”. 

When he does finally make a trip into town to talk to a former guard he was friendly with, he tells you to remain hidden until he gets back. 

“Do you really think he’ll help us?” you ask him before he leaves. 

“Maybe. Shiu hated the queen as much as I did. He left the royal guard a few weeks before me.”

While he’s gone, you stay quiet, not wanting anyone nearby to hear noise in the supposedly empty cabin. You’ve already been keeping the curtains closed and avoiding windows. 

It’s a little scary to be alone after what happened the last time, but you trust Toji. If anything happens, he’ll come to save you. 

Shiu is sitting at a table in the back of the tavern, a mug already in his hand, when Toji walks in. He still looks the same as ever, Toji thinks. 

He looks up when Toji approaches, a restrained smile on his face. “I heard you wanted to talk to me,” he says. 

Toji sits down without being invited to do so, signaling the barmaid to bring him a drink. “How are things going for you since leaving the guard?”

Shiu shrugs. “I’m fine. I work for a noble in town, guarding their mansion.”

Toji takes a swig from the mug that was just handed to him. Might as well get to the heart of the matter. He looks at Shiu and asks, “Whatever happened to that girl you were gonna marry?”

A shadow seems to fall over Shiu’s face as he takes a long drink. He’s silent for a moment, then says, “She married someone else.”

Toji shakes his head. “That’s rough, man. All because of that bitch queen.”

Shiu doesn’t reply to that, only takes yet another drink. Toji remembers clearly what happened. The queen overheard Shiu talking to a fellow guard about being betrothed to his childhood sweetheart. The queen worked hard to maintain the deluded fantasy that all her guards were in love with her, so she couldn’t tolerate Shiu’s love for another woman. 

One day she had Shiu’s fiancé brought to the castle, and forced Shiu to break off the engagement because he was “in love with the queen”. The queen made it very clear she would be willing to kill the girl if Shiu refused. 

Only a week later, Shiu left the guard. Toji always wondered if he was able to explain things to his former fiancé and marry her after all, but apparently that never happened. 

Now, Shiu looks utterly miserable, to the point that Toji almost regrets bringing it up. 

“I never talked to her after that,” he suddenly says. “I knew the queen would have her killed if anyone saw us together. Wasn’t worth the risk.”

Toji takes another drink then sits his mug down. “What if I told you she’s a false queen?” he asks in a low voice. “What if there’s a true queen waiting to overthrow her?”

Shiu looks at him, startled. Then his eyes shift around the room to make sure no one is listening. “What are you talking about?”

Toji places his elbow on the table casually, as if he’s discussing the weather. “The queen killed her husband, but he had a child before he married her.”

“Yeah, the kid died right after he did,” Shiu said, recounting the official story. 

“She’s alive,” Toji tells him, “And ready to claim her throne.”

Shiu’s eyes narrow. “How do you know that?”

“Because the queen hired me to kill her.”

“And you didn’t.”

Toji nods. “I didn’t.”

Shiu looks at him in silence for a moment, then says, “You fucked her, didn’t you?”

Toji laughs. “I did. But to be fair I had no idea who she really was. The first time at least.”

Shiu shakes his head and takes another drink. “How sure are you about this? She could be a fake or-“

“She’s the real deal,” Toji says. “She didn’t even know herself until a few days ago. I was with her when she found out.”

“So?” Shiu asks. “What do you need from me?”

“A distraction, mostly. Gather as many former guards as you can and make a scene at the castle gates. Draw as many guards as you can. I’ll sneak in through one of the old passageways and take out the queen.”

“She’ll keep the elite guard in the castle with her,” Shiu says. Both men still know exactly how things work. 

Toji grins. “Elite or not, there’s only six of them. Do you really think they can stop me?”

Shiu laughs. “Not in a million years!”

“Have everything ready,” Toji says. “We’ll make our move in one week.”

How did things end up like this? How did you find yourself in a small dark carriage with Toji, on your way to the castle to kill the queen? 

Toji seems calm and relaxed. Has he assassinated a royal before? He acts like this is just a pleasant ride through the kingdom. His confidence makes you feel more at ease, but you’re still battling to keep your nerves under control. You’ve never done anything remotely like this before. 

But you can’t back down now. Not after what the queen has taken, and attempted to take, from you. In the back of your mind, your poor father’s bloody corpse remains frozen there, refusing to be forgotten. You can’t allow the person who ordered his death to sit on the throne and enjoy such power. 

“You still okay?” Toji’s voice asks. The carriage is so dark inside that you can barely see his face. He insisted on doing this at night. 

“I’m fine. Just nervous,” you reply. “Why don’t you tell me something about your past, to distract me?”

You hear Toji snort. “You don’t wanna hear depressing stuff like that. Ask me about something recent.”

After a moment of thought, you ask, “Why did you kill that boar that was terrorizing the village? I used to think it was out of kindness, but that doesn’t seem likely.”

Toji laughs. “You don’t think I’m kind?”

“Are you?”

“Fuck no! I’m a terrible person!” Toji says, then goes quiet for a little while before speaking again. You wish you could see his expression as he says, “That kid the boar killed… he used to play in front of my house all the time. Annoying little brat. But he looked like Megumi. He looked like my son. So I didn’t really mind seeing him out my window every day.”

Another brief silence, then Toji goes on. “When I saw that kid’s body all mangled up, it was like I was looking at Megumi’s corpse. Something just snapped in me, and I had to kill the boar.”

You smile even though you doubt he can see it. “That’s a surprisingly sweet reason.”

The carriage begins to slow, then comes to a stop. Toji climbs out and then helps you step down onto the hard forest ground. The air is frigid and dry. What snow is left on the ground is solid, like icy stone. It’s dark here, but some moonlight is filtering in between the trees, providing more light than was in the carriage. 

Several feet away stands an old church made of crumbling brick. It’s in obvious disrepair, probably abandoned. 

“So the tunnel is in there?” you ask. 

Tojo is adjusting a leather satchel on his shoulder. “Yep. Leads straight to the fruit cellar inside the castle.”

He’d explained earlier that the tunnel was a secret escape route for the royal family, made generations ago when the kingdom was at war with another land. They never closed it off because there was always the chance of an attack, from rebellious commoners or even another kingdom in the future. 

Toji talks to the driver of the carriage, some former guard he once worked with, and then the carriage is gone, presumably to meet up with the “distraction force” as Toji calls it. Then the two of you walk into the church.  

Inside, Toji lights a torch and hands it to you before lighting another for himself. In the firelight you can see that the church interior is in decent shape. It’s very dusty, full of cobwebs, but otherwise looks like any other empty church. The pews are still arranged neatly in a row, with even a few Bibles and hymnals still tucked into the wooden holders. 

You follow Toji as he walks right up to the Baptismal pool at the back, long dried up, and lifts up a stone slab you thought was the bottom. Beneath it you see a set of steps leading down into pitch darkness. 

“Wouldn’t this be a bad idea when the pool was full?” you ask as Toji begins walking down the steps. 

“It never was,” he tells you, turning back to offer you his hand as you follow down after him. “This was never a functioning church. All of this is fake.”

Once down the steps, you move the torch around to look at your surroundings. The tunnel is tall enough for Toji to fit with room to spare, and wide enough for at least four men to walk side by side. The floor is made of stone, not dirt. You suppose royals wouldn’t lower themselves to walking on the bare earth even in an emergency. 

The walls are also stone, but have a rustic, unfinished quality to them. You can only see a little ways ahead, as the tunnel seems to absorb the firelight. When you speak to Toji, your voice echoes. 

“I hope you know the way,” you say as you turn a corner, leaving the main path. Apparently there are several “dummy paths” to confuse potential pursuers. 

“All guards have to memorize the route through the tunnels,” he says, “in case we have to escort the queen out.”

You walk the rest of the way in relative silence, only your footsteps and Toji’s filling the tunnel with faint sound. As you get closer to the end, the two of you begin walking slower, more quietly, to avoid alerting any guards that might be patrolling near the exit. 

Finally, Toji stops in what looks like the middle of the tunnel and points upwards. There’s a square outline of wood, with a rope ladder tied up to it. Toji releases the ladder then climbs it enough to ease the door open. You see him hold the torch up and move it around to check the area, then he motions for you to climb up as he pushes the door fully open. 

Inside the fruit cellar, there’s a couple of wall mounted candles giving off meager light, but it’s enough to see where you’re going. Toji snuffs out the torches and tosses them behind a shelf, then cracks open the door and peeks out. Apparently seeing nothing of note, he takes your hand and silently leads you out into the hall. 

There’s more light here, with torches fixed in elegant mounts at evenly spaced intervals along both walls. The floor is carpeted, in deep red, and the ceiling is absurdly high. 

You look around in wonder, trying to force your brain to remember any of this. You were born here, spent the first year and a half of your life here, but nothing looks the least bit familiar. You were simply too young at the time. 

Toji pulls you gently along, faster than your usual pace. “Shiu must be doing his job,” Toji says. “The halls aren’t usually so empty.”

He stops suddenly and ducks back against the wall, then leans slightly around a corner. “There they are. The elite guard, right outside her bedroom like I thought.”

You want to peek around and see for yourself, but you keep your back pressed against the wall. 

Toji turns to you. “Stay here until I take care of them.”

You nod, then he rushes around the corner. You hear the guards yelling, indistinguishable words and then grunts and yells of pain. You hear metal clanging against metal, and you realize Toji didn’t bring a sword. 

No longer able to bear not knowing what’s happening, you creep over to the corner and very carefully lean around to look. 

In front of an ornate door, two guards are already lying on the floor, not moving, pools of blood beneath their bodies. Toji is holding a sword just like theirs, obviously taken from one of their bodies. He swings it with terrifying precision, slicing one guard across the neck and then stabbing into another’s gut. Blood is spraying all over the hall, coating Toji’s arms and shirt. 

Of the two guards left, one tries to grab Toji from behind, but Toji’s head slams back into the man’s face with a sickening crunch. Then Toji parries the last guard’s sword and grabs the man’s throat with his free hand. The guard drops his sword and used both hands to try to pry Toji’s fingers from his neck, but that’s when Toji rams his own sword through the man’s chest. 

Toji turns to face you as you step around the corner. “Are you okay?” you ask him, worried he might have gotten wounded in the scuffle. 

“Not a scratch,” he says, putting his hand on the golden knob of the door. “Ready to see the queen?”

You take a deep breath and will your heart to stop beating so fast. In the pocket of your dress is a small dagger Toji gave you. Your hand grips the handle as you say, “I’m ready.”

Toji opens the door to a surprisingly bright room. A huge chandelier overhead illuminates the lavish bedroom, but you don’t have time to even notice the gilded furnishings. Because in the center of the room sits a strikingly beautiful woman in a long red velvet dress. 

She’s glaring at you, but her eyes quickly shift to Toji. “I knew you’d come,” she says, her voice pretty but tired. “You’ve always hated me. I shouldn’t have even bothered with posting guards.”

You step forward, clutching the dagger in your fist. She looks at it, then at your face. She doesn’t seem frightened at all, just… tired. Is this really the same person who visited you and gave you the apple? She seems to have so many sides to her. 

“Ah yes, the princess finally comes home,” she says. 

Even in her defeated state, she’s gorgeous. Did this woman really worry that you’re more beautiful than her? Just as you’re about to question if that’s really why she began to target you after all these years, she waves her hand over her face. 

It’s like she pulled off a mask. She must have been using magic to enhance her appearance, because now she looks like an ordinary woman. Still pretty, but the regular sort of pretty you see in any village in the kingdom. 

She sighs and relaxes back in her chair. “I never should have let you live,” she says. 

“Why did you?” you ask her. The question has been wearing on your mind. 

She looks away, her gaze settling on something distant. “You don’t have to believe me, but I truly did love your father. Your real father. I didn’t kill him. And I couldn’t kill you, because you were the last little piece of him left in the world. I regret that foolish sentimentality now.”

You look down at her, trying to decide whether or not you pity her. After some thought, you decide you don’t. “I would have lived my life out in peace, never knowing the truth, if you hadn’t tried to kill me,” you tell her. “You started all of this.”

Her eyes fix upon yours again. She doesn’t try to escape beg for her life. She doesn’t even try to shield her neck with her hand as you hold the dagger up. A strange smile spreads over her face. “Ah, you have your father’s eyes.”

“You killed the only father I ever knew,” you say, before plunging the dagger into her throat. 

As you release your hold on the dagger’s hilt, you realize your hands are trembling. You clasp them together to still them as Toji comes up behind you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. 

“You did good,” he says. 

You nod numbly. Did you do good? Was killing her the right thing to do? Only time will tell. 

A few guards burst into the room. They spot the queen’s bloody body slumped in her chair and point their swords at you and Toji. 

Before a battle can break out, Toji points to the necklace around your neck. “This is the true queen,” he tells them. He also holds out a familiar envelope. “This is a letter written by the former Royal Advisor explaining everything. The queen you served killed the king and stole the throne.”

One of the guards hesitantly takes the letter, his eyes repeatedly shifting to the pendant on your chest. “We will have to report this to the court and let them decide what to do,” he says. 

You give him a dignified nod, trying to look like a queen. You’re still not sure you even want to rule, but you have Toji by your side. With him, you feel like you can figure things out. 

Four months have passed since you killed the queen. You’re standing in the throne room, listening to court advisors and teachers as they continue their lessons. 

One of them snaps a wooden ruler against a nearby desk to get your attention. “Your Majesty! I asked you which of our allies trades primarily in grain! This is a test!”

You sigh as you step away from the window. “Asselia, our neighbor to the north,” you answer. They’ve been quizzing you nonstop for the past week in preparation for your first meeting with allied leaders. 

“Very good,” one of them says. He’s a kindly old man who apparently served under your parents when they ruled. 

The harsher man beside him, holding the ruler, doesn’t seem impressed. “You still get at least one in ten answers wrong! You’ll be an embarrassment to the-“

He stops abruptly when the main doors open and Toji walks in. 

“Hey now,” Toji says, draping an arm around the man who is now sweating. “You’re not being rude to our adorable new queen, are you?”

The man’s face goes pale. “N-no, sir! We’re just going over her lessons. She’s still new to politics and-“

“And these lessons have already went over schedule by an hour,” Toji tells him. “She’s taking a break now.”

The man looks like he’d love to say something, but he holds his tongue, instead gathering up some papers and books from his desk and leaving the room in a hurry. Several more men leave as well, casting fearful looks Toji’s way. 

All that remains is your top advisor, the one who praised you earlier. He’s your favorite. With a light chuckle he watches his colleagues flee the room, then turns to you. “Don’t worry, Your Majesty, you’re making excellent progress. Someone who grew up in a small village can’t be expected to know everything about this kingdom so quickly.”

You smile warmly at him. “Thank you. I’m glad you came back to the castle.”

He gives you a wink. “I’m glad you came back too.”

“You’ve never doubted me, have you?” you ask him. Many in the court seem to think you’re a fake heir who somehow stole your pendant. But they hated the previous queen so much that even they didn’t oppose your rule. 

He laughs as he heads toward the door. “How could I? You look so much like your parents it’s uncanny! And I know my friend’s handwriting. The letter is not fake.”

You wave to him as he leaves the room, closing the door behind him. Toji walks over and locks it. 

“How are the new guards doing?” 

Toji has been overseeing the training of the guards you had to replace after the night you killed the queen. His friend Shiu is now Captain of the Guard and is helping with the training. 

“They’re soft and weak but they’ll get better,” Toji says, walking over to you. “Not like you even need them with me around.”

He’s probably right. You can’t even fathom someone being able to get past Toji. 

“So did the gambling dens accept the payments?” you ask, leaning back against him as his arms encircle you. 

“Happily,” he replies, leaning down and nuzzling your neck. 

“I thought that’s all you wanted from me,” you say in a teasing tone.

His hands begin untying the intricate front laces of your bodice. “Oh I can think of a lot of things I still want from you.”

“Then take them,” you say, sighing as a strong hand slips beneath your bodice and firmly squeezes your breast. 

Toji pauses and looks across the room. “That desk… it belongs to that old asshole, right?”

You glance over at it, frowning at the memory of the ruler cracking against it. You think you’ll hear that sound in your sleep for years to come. “He brought it with him, yes.”

“Wanna fuck on it? So every time you look at it you’ll just be thinking of my cock drilling into your pussy?”

You turn in Toji’s arms, facing him, then stand on your tip toes to kiss his lips. “You always have the best ideas!”

You’re both half naked by the time you make your way over to the desk, only a thin slip and some panties remaining on your body. Toji pulls them off you before discarding his pants, then bends you over the desk. 

The wood feels cool against your bare, flushed skin. By contrast, Toji’s hand feels hot as it slides down your ass and then slips between your thighs from behind. You shudder as his fingers probe your flesh, spreading your wetness around and making lewd sounds. 

“Already so wet,” he says, then leans over you and says into your ear, “Such a naughty little queen.”

You gasp as his fingers press in deeper, his thumb rubbing your clit. “T-Toji!” you whine, your hands gripping the edge of the desk. 

His erection is brushing against your ass, taunting you with its firmness and heat. You wiggle a bit as you look back at him. “Your queen orders you to fuck her stupid!”

Toji grins. “As you wish, Your Majesty!”

His hand leaves your throbbing cunt, and seconds later you feel his huge cock slide into you. Your body jerks forward with the motion, the desk scooting a few inches across the floor. 

Your feet leave the floor, your quivering legs dangling as Toji thrusts in harder, his hands on your hips. You feel like a toy in his grasp, but that only turns you on more. You cry out each time his cock hits the deepest possible place in you, wishing he could go even deeper. 

One of his hands slides down and grips your left leg, then pulls it up, spreading you open. A sound escapes you that doesn’t even sound like yourself. Something between a moan and a sob. In this position, his tip is ramming your cervix with each thrust. 

Your whole body is shaking as you cum, crying and clenching him, hugging the desk with all your strength. 

Toji’s cock twitches inside you, and he pulls out quickly, his cum splattering on your body and the desk beneath it. 

Is he afraid to get you pregnant? That’s probably something the two of you should discuss soon. 

Once you’ve both cleaned up and are sitting together in the throne room, you decide to share an idea you had with Toji. 

“Why don’t you invite Megumi to live in the castle with us?”

He seems surprised by the suggestion. “Are you sure about that? You heard the queen. Kids are the last pieces left of parents who died. He’s always gonna remind me of my wife.”

“I don’t mind,” you tell him honestly. “I don’t think we should forget people we lost. But that doesn’t mean we can’t continue our lives without them.”

He puts an arm around you, pulling you in for a quick kiss. “I never thought I’d fall for such a sweet little thing,” he says. 

You smile up at him. “Oh, so you admit you fell for me?”

He gives you an almost pouty look. “You’re sneaky, huh? Gonna have to punish you for that.”

“Oh, something to look forward to during the next round of lessons!” you say with a laugh. 

Toji laughs too, and you realize you made the right choices since they led you here, to this moment of pure bliss. 

And you lived happily ever after. 

[katiemccabeswife]

Selflessness (Leah Williamson x FosterMum!Reader)

You always put your kids first but can’t miss the return of Leah back to football.

Another 4.7k words 😮‍💨, also how gorgeous is Leah is that photo? PSA; I have not read through this as it it 1:30 in the morning so I am hoping grammaly as done it’s job 👍🏼

You had been seeing Leah for a few months now but you were still too nervous to tell her about your ‘part-time job’. Of course, she knew that you were a professional dance teacher but she didn’t know that you had a second ‘job'.

It was one that fell into your lap and you couldn’t turn it down. You had all the qualifications to look after children including medical certificates and you had always dreamed of being a mother. Being a lesbian meant that that would be harder than it was if you were straight and when you came across an article about the lack of foster parents in the London area, you decided to sign yourself up.

It took a long few months to get the remaining qualifications needed and go through the training programs but you always had your eye on the target and didn’t mind waiting a few more months if that meant that you were the safest hands a child could be in.

You had your first placement 2 years ago and ever since then your home has never been silent and your heart has always been full. Some children only stayed with you overnight, some stayed a few months, and some were more introverted than others but you always put 110% into making sure they felt comfortable when staying with you.

When you met Leah at the grocery store you were a mess. A particularly troubled child had been staying with you for about a fortnight and had just begun to open up to you when his mother came out of rehab. She had done the necessary lessons and paperwork whilst in the facility and so as soon as she was released, Theo had to move back in with his mother. He had confided in you that he was concerned about moving back in with her and that he was scared she would disappear again but there was nothing you could legally do to calm his anxiety.

The night at the grocery store was the night he went back to his mother’s and you were worried sick about the 7-year-old boy who cried in your arms. You knew you didn't look your best but you needed to restock your pantry after having a farewell feast for Theo.

You were dressed in pyjama pants and a hoodie with sleeves covered in tears and snot. Your hair was thrown into a haphazard ponytail and your eyes were red from both crying and rubbing.

You stood staring at the empty spot where the Oreos normally sit and a fresh set of tears began to roll down your cheeks. You never would have cried over something as trivial as not being able to buy a snack but your emotions were all over the place and you really wanted your comfort food.

You had fallen into a squat with your hands over your eyes, trying to hide the tears when a hand fell on your back, "Are you alright?"

You looked up to see a beautiful blond looking down at you concerned, you pointed pathetically to the empty spot and quickly realised how pathetic it was and quickly stood up, "I am so sorry," You laughed at yourself and wiped away your tears, "I am a mess right now and I really wanted some Oreos and they're out and," You tried to laugh it off again but it sounded more like a cry.

The tall blue-eyed woman reached into her basket and held out a pack of Oreos to you, "You can have mine if you'd like?" She offered kindly.

You rested your hand over your heart and looked at her like she was a miracle worker, "No, I couldn't you had them first. You keep them, I'll be fine I'm just- this is humiliating," You laughed at yourself and took a deep breath, "I am perfectly fine and you can keep the Oreos but thank you for the offer," You smiled appreciatively.

The woman was still looking at you concerningly, "Trust me it's, I shouldn't really be eating them anyways," She spoke as if it were secret and you naturally assumed she was watching her weight or something and when you noticed how fit she was you looked at her in awe.

"You are so perfect," You nodded at her and she looked even more confused, "You keep those Oreos and you eat all of them," You ordered.

The blonde laughed and seemingly caught on, "No, no, I really shouldn't I'm an athlete so I really should not eat the Oreos. Trust me you have them." She thrust them into your basket, "Seriously, take them," She used her 'captain voice' and you felt like you had no other choice.

Overcome with gratitude you thanked her sheepishly, "Thank you for being so kind. Again, I'm so sorry for being such a mess," You gestured to your hair and outfit and missed the way she looked at you as if you were dressed to the nines.

"And if I'm giving you the Oreos I think it's only fair you give me your number..." She trailed off trying to test the waters.

You examined her face to see if she was being serious, "Umm, yeah? I guess sure." You nodded and tried to convince yourself that this was actually happening.

You grabbed her phone which she presented to you and added your number and name; y/n <3. She took it back and smirked at you, "I will be sure to ask you how the Oreos taste, y/n," She teased.

You gained a bit of confidence to flirt back, "I'll be sure to respond..." You waited for her to tell you her name.

"Leah," She caught on.

"I'll be sure to tell you how delicious these Oreos are, Leah," You don't know where the confidence surged from but you winked at her before moving past her to continue your shopping.

From there on, you and Leah messaged back and forth and she joked about your emotional state at the grocery store and teased her about her attraction to you when you looked like rubbish. Now 4 months later and a shocking surprise later (finding out that Leah was in fact a world-known football star) you were trying to find the words to tell her that you wouldn't be able to attend her returning game from her ACL injury.

You had taken in two little girls a week ago, Vienna was 5 and her little sister Lilah was 2. The girls were supposed to have a visit with their father at the time of the game but their caseworker went to inspect the house and found him surrounded by bottles of alcohol therefore she had to cancel the visit.

The only other option was to bring the girls to the game and you were sure Vienna would love the atmosphere but you weren't sure how Lilah would deal. That and the fact that you would have to tell Leah the fact that you were a foster parent, not that you're embarrassed of your job but you were very aware of the fact that many people couldn't handle the inflexibility and last-minute change in plans that came with either being with or being a foster parent and you didn't want to lose what you had with Leah.

You were bought out of your thoughts by a tugging on your pant leg. Lilah was looking at you curiously, she could only speak limited words and since being in your care she limited the number of words she shared with you even further. You picked her up and put her on your hip, "Would like to go see a football game?" You asked, not expecting a response.

You were met with clapping from the toddler and a smile on her face and took that for a yes. You wandered over to where Vienna was doing Just Dance on the TV and put Lilah down to join her sister. You cheered both the girls on and laughed at Vienna's confidence in her dance moves, she had been quite the opposite of her sister and seemed to flourish in your care. The girl's social worker said that she was extremely introverted and had barely ever spoken to her but after only a day being in your hands she thrived and it seemed she almost never stopped talking.

Once the dance was finished you applauded the girls to which Vienna bowed and Lilah copied her sister, "That was fantastic! Where did you learn to dance like that?" You congratulated them and bent to a squat to be more their height.

Vienna blushed and swung her arms sheepishly, "My momma," She responded and your heart warmed, the girls had been in an accident while their mother was driving and she hadn't made it out of the car. Their father hadn't taken the news well and turned to drinking which landed the girls in your care.

"Well, I think she would be so proud of how well you dance," You complimented to which she beamed and Lilah clapped her hands, "Hey, would you like to go to a real-life football game?" You offered with your hands out.

Vienna ran over to you, slapped your hands and screamed, "YES!" She then took off running around the living room pretending to play with an imaginary ball.

"Wow! Well, we will have to get ready won't we?" You gave the girls a chance to make their own choice, "Would you like me to pick you out an outfit or would you like to pick your own out?"

Vienna seemed to think for a moment before deciding that she was going to dress herself. You encouraged her decisions and helped her get dressed before helping Lilah into her own clothes, "You girls look beautiful! I think you picked a better outfit than I ever could," You commended, "Right, I need to make a phone call and get dressed, how about your guys go and do 1 more dance and then we'll hop in the car and go, is that ok?"

Lilah clapped once again but spoke up for the first time that day, "YES!"

Your jaw dropped in shock before you clapped for the girl, "Yes!" You cheered, "Alright, I will be 4 minutes, off you go," You smiled as they ran to the living room holding hands.

You walked into your room, picked out your own outfit and rung up Leah. Once the phone was ringing you bit your thumbnail as you waited, anxious for the coming conversation.

Leah's cheerful voice came through the speaker and you found your anxiety slipping away, "Hey, y/n/n what's up?" You could hear the girls in the background and assumed that they were already in the changerooms.

"Hey Lee, umm would I be able to get 2 extra tickets to the game? I have umm a couple friends who came over unexpectedly and I can't leave them here alone and I really want to come to your game but I completely understand if it's too late but if it is, I am so sorry but I won't be able to come but I will be cheering you from here and-"

Your rambling was cut off by Leah laughing, "Of course, y/n/n I'll get it sorted. Don't worry about it," You let out a breath of relief.

"Thank god, thank you so much Leah. I will make sure to be cheering you on extra loud, and I'm sure my sidekicks will be as well," You laughed.

"Will I get to meet your sidekicks?" She teased, "It's only fair if I'm getting them free seats," She egged on.

You laughed nervously, "Umm, I'm sure they would be delighted to meet you," You noticed Lilah walking into your room, "Hey, I've gotta go, I wanna beat the traffic but I'll see you there, yeah?"

"Of course, see you soon," You bid farewell and hung up the phone, turning your attention to the little girl.

"You ready to go!" You picked Lilah up when she nodded and headed to get your things together, making sure you had enough snacks and water for the girls before herding them out the door and into your car.

The trip was spent singing various songs including Adele and Taylor Swift and the girls were buzzing by the time you reached the Emirates. Vienna forced you to skip in but you had to ask her to hold your hand, not wanting her to get lost. You made your way into the family and friends section. You were glad that Leah's mum couldn't make it to this game as you weren't overly eager to explain your situation to Leah, let alone her mum.

You had spent the time before the match running around with girls, trying to wear them out enough so they wouldn't feel the need to during the game. Once the players had started to line up in the tunnel you were just coming out of the bathroom with the girls, grateful for perfect timing and quickly made your way to your seats. Leah was only slightly worried when she didn't see you in the stands when she headed out to the bench.

You ended up having a spare chair due to Lilah wanting to be in your hold. You stood up when the teams started to walk out holding Lilah in one arm and having your other arm occupied by Vienna clinging on whilst standing on her seat. Even though Leah wasn't in the starting lineup, she was going to come on in the second half but you cheered on the girls you knew were close to her and Vienna was more than happy to help, Lilah sat in your arms confused but unbothered.

When the half-time whistle went you quickly got to your feet and walked briskly to the bathroom after Vienna told you she needed to use the toilet. After cleaning up you took the girls over to an open area and continued to let them run around and made sure Vienna knew that she would have to be stationary for another 45 minutes.

Leah's concern grew when she still couldn't find you in the crowd during half time and she became slightly pissed off that you'd told her you were coming, to get an extra 2 seats, and you weren't even there. Then she grew sad that you couldn't bother showing up to her first game in almost a year.

You had just settled Vienna again when the whistle blew for the commencement of that match and you cheered on the girls once again as the ball got kicked into play. Leah had gone over the rules of football with you a few times but you were still confused over the tackling and offside rules so you just cheered and booed when the Arsenal fans did.

However, when you saw Leah stepping up to the sideline and her number coming up on the substitution board in green, you stood up on your own and screamed as loud as you could causing a ripple effect throughout the stadium. Leah didn't turn around when she heard someone that sounded an awful lot like you cheer because she was in her head about you not being here and her being about to play the sport she loved for the first time in almost a year.

Every time Leah had the ball or made a successful tackle you and Vienna were on your feet cheering and even Lilah managed to expel something resembling a cheer, the poor girl being on the verge of sleep. Leah felt truly alive for the first time in 9 months, of course, she was alive throughout the course of the rehab but felt like she was only living so she could make it to this moment and now that she was in the moment she felt like she could run forever.

Once the game ended Leah had racked up 25 minutes of playing time, an assist and Arsenal won another 3 points for the ladder. She was elated and could feel the fans felt the same way throughout the stadium, especially through her teammates who were glad to have their teammate back on the pitch.

She took one last chance and looked over to the family and friends section to scan for your face and her elation only grew when she spotted it in the crowd. Her elation turned to confusion though when she caught sight of the toddler on your hip and the child you were dancing with. She was not aware you had any children nor any nieces and she was pretty sure she would recognise any of her teammate's kids or relatives and these children's faces were not ones she had seen before.

She started the trek over to you and once you caught sight of her you had to slightly shake your head and gesture to the tunnel. You weren't allowed to let the girls' faces be on camera and you didn't want anyone to witness the conversation you were about to endure with Leah.

You were trying to convince a security guard that you were meeting Leah in the tunnel but he was not having a bar of it, "Please sir, she'll be waiting for me. I'm already in trouble, just let me through!" You were growing frustrated and the girls were picking up on it. Vienna was tugging your hand as she wanted to go run on the pitch and Lilah was getting fussy as she was starting to get over tired.

You didn't see Leah walk in but she had spotted you a minute ago and had to take in what she was seeing for a minute. She had known you for 4 months and you had never mentioned any children in your life but it did make sense that you had kids, sometimes you would have to cancel dates very last minute but you always made sure to set another one up shortly after and apologised profusely.

"Hey, it's alright. She's with me," Leah made herself known and the guard backed off cautiously. Her attention was on your face and could see how you instantly relaxed but she could also see the toddler clinging to your shirt.

Vienna tugged on your shirt and gestured you to get down to your height and as much of a concern the conversation you had to have with Leah was, your kids came first so you bent down and waited for Vienna to speak her mind, "Was that one of the girls on the pitch?" She asked excitedly.

You stroked her arm and nodded with matching enthusiasm, "Yeah she was, she even helped them score a goal!" Vienna seemed pleased with your answer and made her way over to Leah.

You held your breath but let her do her thing. Leah looked to you when she gestured for Leah to bend down, just as you had a minute ago, and you nodded in permission, "Hello lovely, what's your name?" Leah asked.

"My name's Vienna, y/n/n is my step-in mummy!" Your heart warmed at the girl's claim, "I saw you play out on the big pitch!" She reached around to Leah's back and patted it gently, "You did a very good job, y/n/n and I cheered soo loud when you went on, even Lilah cheered!" She exclaimed pointing back towards you and her sister.

"Thank you, darling, I'm actually pretty sure I heard you cheering for me, you were very loud!" Leah complimented to which Vienna giggled.

"Hey V, why don't you take this and sit over there for a minute, I wanna talk to Leah. Is that ok?" You offered her a colouring book and some textas.

"Ok!" She took both and skipped over to where a table and chair were randomly set up.

"Hey..." You rocked slightly as Lilah had fallen asleep.

"Hi," Leah said with a tone of confusion.

"Umm so- yeah," Your free hand came out as if you were about to explain and then it dropped back to your side when you couldn't find the words.

Leah raised her eyebrows before looking between the girls and you.

"I foster kids in my spare time," You tried to joke but then heard how it sounded out loud and immediately began to backtrack, "Not in my spare time, that was stupid, I don't have spare time anymore. I foster kids! All the time, except when I'm not then I'm either working or with you but sometimes I do all three! And I didn't tell you; not because I'm embarrassed of my job but because I am so aware of the fact that many people can't handle the inflexibility and last-minute change in plans that comes with either being with or being a foster parent and I always feel so bad when I have to cancel plans but them I'm like there is a literal child who needs somewhere to stay and someone to take care of them and it makes me feel better but then I'm like, Leah! I didn't want to lose you because I know you're gonna have a busy schedule now that your back playing and I didn't want you to feel bad about calling this off because of what I do and-" You were running out of breath and were on the verge of tears when Leah bought you into a hug, keeping clear of the child perched on your hip.

Once you caught your breath and the hug broke off Leah grabbed your face between her hands, "You are a bloody amazing woman." She stated and you blushed, "I can not believe how selfless you are, you are doing something so incredible for these kids and you still take into account how I would feel? Of course, I wouldn't call this off because you chose to take in kids who need somewhere to stay! If anything it makes me love you more!" She didn't even register what she was saying until she said it. That didn't mean she regretted it.

She crashed her lips into yours and you reciprocated but broke free quickly, aware of the child in your arms and the other one not even 4 meters away from you. You were still slightly teary, her beautiful confession not helping, "I love you too," You laughed but quickly quietened when Lilah stirred in your arms, "Umm, would you like to come back to mine? I'll have to put these two down but it should only take 10 minutes,"

Leah was quick to agree and ran to get her kit from the changing room and had a fast shower. She sent off a quick message to the Arsenal girls excusing herself from post-match celebrations. She met you next to your car and noticed that you only had one kid running circles around you, "Lils was fast asleep so I've just put her in her seat, ready to go?" You asked Leah who nodded.

"Is Leah coming over to our house?" Vienna asked when you were clipping her into her car seat.

You glanced at Leah sitting in the passenger seat before nodding to Vienna, "Yeah, is that alright with you?" You were worried that she wouldn't be ok having someone else in the house with you and knew that if that was the case, you would have to once again reschedule to meet up with her.

"As long as she tells me a bedtime story!" Vienna giggled.

"I'm sure if you asked really nicely, she would be more than happy too!" She was content with your answer and broke out in humming a random tune. You laughed at her and went to the driver's side to take your girls home.

The drive home was fairly quiet as Lilah was asleep but Vienna kept humming her tune and you and Leah couldn't help but laugh when she got really passionate about her song.

"McDonald's for dinner?" You asked Leah who nodded her head. You turned your head slightly to catch the gaze of Vienna, "Hey V, do you want to get McDonald's for dinner?"

"Um yes please!" She spoke as if it were obvious, "Can I get a nugget happy meal?"

You nodded, "Umm of course?" You responded in the same tone she had before.

After teasing Leah about her bland food choices, Vienna talking Leah's ear off about nothing in particular in between eating her happy meal and Lilah having a bottle and being put to sleep, it was finally Vienna's time to go to sleep.

"Alrighty, teeth are brushed and jammies are on, what's next V?" You asked and she seemed to remember your conversation in the car and ran over to Leah who watched the scene in awe.

"Excuse me, Leah?" She patted her knee to get her attention, "Would you please tell me a bedtime story?"

Leah gasped, "I would love to have the honour!" She spoke proudly.

Vienna dragged her to her bedroom and quickly got under her sheets, "Could you please tell me a football story?" She asked politely.

"Those are my favourite stories, would you like to hear about when my team won a competition against all of the other countries in Europe?" Vienna nodded dutifully.

"Isn't there like a billion countries in Europe?" She was 5, give her a break.

Leah nodded, "Almost," She went off to tell her a shortened version of the Eruos in 2022 and Vienna was enraptured by the story but was slowly falling asleep.

"You must be really good if you beat a billion other countries, I like you, you're my favourite footballer," Vienna decided and patted Leah's hand that was resting on her leg. You watched the scene from the side with hearts in your eyes.

Once the story was over Leah bid Vienna goodnight and got up off the bed so you could say your goodnights. You made sure to tuck her in extra tight and checked under her bed for monsters and after concluding that there were none Vienna was ready to go to sleep, "Goodnight, munchkin, sweet dreams," You kissed her lightly on the forehead.

She returned the favour by kissing your nose and pulled in for another secret, "I really like Leah, she's pretty," She giggled.

You smiled at the small child and nodded, "I know," You laughed with your foster daughter and wished her goodnight once again flipping off the lights and turning on the night light, "Night night V," You waved.

"Night night y/n/n," She dozed off.

You left the door open slightly and jumped when you saw Leah waiting on the opposite side of the door, "Jesus, Lee," You pulled her into your bedroom not wanting to wake either girl, "Listen, I truly am sorry about not telling you about all this. I was just scared and didn't want to lose you is all,"

Leah took you in her arms, "I understand, love. Don't worry about it," She gave you a kiss on the side of your head and pulled away, "I loved watching you interact with them, you're so good at it. And you look beautiful while doing it," She flirted and pecked your lips.

You moved your arms to wrap around her neck, "I love watching you interact with them, didn't know you had it in you, Captain Grumpy Pants," You teased as Leah was known for her stern facial expressions.

Leah looked unimpressed, "Well at least V, thinks I'm pretty," She spoke triumphantly.

You pecked her lips, "I happen to think you are very pretty," You kissed her again but let it go even further and when you had to break apart for air, "Gorgeous really," You teased.

"Stop trying to one-up a child," She chastised sarcastically.

You smirked, "You might just have to shut me up, then," You flirted but it didn't end up going much further as the two of you ended up fast asleep within minutes exhausted from playing football, cheering and taking care of two children.

[exploreknowledgehub]

With English subtitles

A Course in Miracles Lesson 1 - Nothing I See Means Anything

A Course in Miracles - David Hoffmeister says:

"As we apply workbook lesson number one (“Nothing I see means anything”) to the perception of the world, this is the beginning of retraining our mind to see the world in a completely different way. This is the beginning of allowing the Holy Spirit to wash the mind free of judgments and preferences, hierarchies of thought. Free of belief that some things we perceive are more important than other things. This is the beginning of mind training; a very devoted practice to forgiving the world and awakening from the dream of sickness, pain, suffering and death. Of awakening from fragmented perception to true perception, and beyond to the Reality of the Kingdom of Heaven."

This recording of David Hoffmeister took place on July 30th 2015.

Mystic David Hoffmeister is a living demonstration that peace is possible. His gentle demeanor and articulate, non-compromising expression are a gift to all. David is world-renowned for his practical application of A Course in Miracles. His clarity about the function of forgiveness in spiritual Awakening and his radical use of mindful movie-watching in the release of judgment is unsurpassed. The purity of the message he shares points directly to the Source.

Background Music used in this video: Extension center meditation 1 by Jason Press (jasonpress.bandcamp.com)

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David helps the mind soar beyond a mere "intellectual grasp" that is taught by many teachers, as his life of trust and Divine Providence and consistent peace of mind demonstrate.  ACIM is not a play of ideas, and is meant to be used by the Holy Spirit and Jesus to lead the sleeping mind to accept the Atonement and Awaken.  David's clarity and demonstration is unsurpassed, and the Presence of Light and humor stream through his thoughts and words and actions and attitudes.  Many times David and his Awakening Mind & Living Miracles communities around the world have been described as the "fast track to Enlightenment."  Check out his teachings and his witness over the last 3 decades, and you will discover the Light within yourself reflected and demonstrated through David.

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ACIM lesson 1 Nothing I see means anything - A Course in Miracles (also referred to as ACIM or the Course) is a 1976 book by Helen Schucman

ACIM Lessons - A Course In Miracles Lessons

Results 1 - 48 of 1044 - A COURSE IN MIRACLES Helen Schucman Welcome 

Experience the fully Re-imagined A Course in Miracles The Movie: Special Edition

acim video lesson 1 earl purdy nothing i see means anything a course in miracles.

acim daily lesson 1 "nothing i see means anything" plus text with david hoffmeister. a course in miracles lesson 1 nothing i see in this room means anything.

acim daily lesson - david hoffmeister begins a journey through the spiritual classic a course in miracles by reading from chapter 1 section: revelation  time  and miracles followed by lesson 1 from the workbook "nothing i see means anything". A Course In Miracles (ACIM) is a unique spiritual self-study program designed to awaken us to the truth of our oneness with God and Love acim lesson 1 nothing i see means anything.

[marigold-hills]

Precious Things (Part 4)

a Remus Lupin Yuletide Miracle

Day Four: Mistletoe | @wolfstarmicrofic

623 words

PART 1 | PREVIOUS PART | NEXT PART

*🎄🎄🎄*

He doesn’t open the Quill straight away. Puts the package on the little side table by his front door, next to his keys and his cane, and… avoids it. Just a little bit. Sneaks glances at it throughout Friday evening and Saturday into the late afternoon.

He tells himself it’s something work related - Aberforth did request he use it after all, and he fully intends to expense the rather exorbitant cost. Work related things have no place on his weekends. His weekends are for reading and catching up on his own mail. For little walks around his local park and feeding frozen peas to the ducks.

Still, the sales pitch rings through him: person who you truly need. Perfectly matched. 

It’s a tactic, he thinks. Something the company made up to boost sales to lonely people feeling even lonelier during the Yule.

Remus isn’t lonely. Sure, his life is a little insulated, but it’s always been like that. It’s what comes with being homeschooled, with working the same job since his early twenties, the only company a crotchety old man, an ever-changing array of part timers, a grouchy cat, and owls that don’t particularly like him. 

(It’s the wolf thing he tells himself, because he gets sad about it otherwise. It’s not nice, being avoided by animals.)

It’s somewhere around sunset that his resolve breaks and he tells himself if you’re curious just open it, for Merlin’s sake. It’s just a quill. You like quills. Stop being afraid of a damned quill. 

If nothing else, he thinks making himself a cup of tea before he starts, he’s got a very pretty notebook for his collection.

The leather is beautiful, pristine. Remus already itches for when it’s showing use - cracked spine, discolourations, inevitable tea stains. For when it’s got character and smells like his home rather than whatever warehouse it came from. 

He opens it gently. The paper inside is soft and off-white, a little thick. Like it’s been hand made. Reminds him of the crafts he used to make with his mum, papier-mâché cards to send to relatives pressed with summer flowers.

A little puff of silver spell work comes up when he opens the ink vial - it rankles a little bit still that it’s not just the special quill and special paper, but even special ink that is needed to get the thing workinf - like the company wanted to make sure whoever bought it had to continue purchasing from them to keep using the product.

He has some very vague memory of a Potter from his history lessons. Someone pure-blooded who annoyed the Wizengamot unendingly, using his seat to push Muggleborn-friendly agenda. Someone he remembers thinking he would have liked to have on his own side, pushing for his right to education or work or safe transformation spaces.

No such person had come, of course, but it’s a fond memory of a time when he was a little naive.

The Quill is in a separate box, wrapped with a few protective charms to ensure it’s not touched until the intended user gets it. Remus chose a simple one - a raven’s feather, the tip golden and the handle engraved with an impression of an iris flower.

The magic happens the moment Remus’ fingers touch it. It’s a rush, a shock up his spine, an explosion of colour behind his eyes. It feels so right it’s almost painful when the feeling diminishes.

He’s still sitting in the bliss of it when a soft chiming, like bird calls, comes from the notebook.

Hello, Stranger.

It appears word by word, stroke by stroke, the most beautiful penmanship Remus has ever seen, and then, just underneath:

What are your thoughts on mistletoe?

Remus slaps the notebook shut. 

*🎄🎄🎄*

NEXT PART

Notes:

oh how I wonder who he’s matched with. What a mystery.

let me know if you’d like to be tagged! I’m not sure what the update schedule will be for this because it’s a hectic month and I’m having fun going at a calm pace.

[merymoonbeam]

Book of Breathings - Elain - Ankh Symbol

First of all this is tied to my "a tool of creation" theory so you can read that first if you want.

We first learned about book of breathings in acomaf. To nullify the Cauldron.

“When the Cauldron was made,” the carver interrupted, “its dark maker used the last of the molten ore to forge a book. The Book of Breathings. In it, written between the carved words, are the spells to negate the Cauldron’s power—or control it wholly. But after the War, it was split into two pieces. One went to the Fae, one to the six human queens. It was part of the Treaty, purely symbolic, as the Cauldron had been lost for millennia and considered mere myth. The Book was believed harmless, because like calls to like—and only that which was Made can speak those spells and summon its power. No creature born of the earth may wield it, so the High Lords and humans dismissed it as little more than a historical heirloom, but if the Book were in the hands of something reforged … You would have to test such a theory, of course—but … it might be possible.” (acomaf)

And as the books went on...we got the two half of the books and finally the book is somehow in cc world.

So lets start with this theory post.

The name of the book comes from Egyptian Mythology

The Books of Breathing (Arabic: كتاب التنفس Kitāb al-Tanafus) are several ancient Egyptian funerary texts, intended to enable deceased people to continue existing in the afterlife. The earliest known copy dates to circa 350 BC.[1] Other copies come from the Ptolemaic Kingdom and Roman Egypt, as late as the 2nd century AD.[2] It is a simplified form of the Book of the Dead

This information will be important for later. And in the meantime I made a post about koshei's onyx box connecting to this if you wanna read it.

Okay moving on...

I was looking at acotar coloring book pages and book of breathings drawing is... interesting.

Side not: sarah got the deals for the acotar books and then worked on the coloring book so I think this is important to add bc she LOVES to add hints as little things and whats better to add than a coloring book?

The circles of silver, gold and bronz.

It had been formed of dark metal plates bound on three rings of gold, silver, and bronze, each word carved with painstaking precision, in an alphabet I could not recognize. Yes, it indeed turned out my reading lessons were unnecessary.

I think these might be related to the book names of the new acotar books.

Silver flames

Gold(en) XX

Bronz XX (for vassa maybe? Bc she is a bird of flame...flame and bronze???)

Okay back to the other things.

The star(sun?) in the middle. When you first look at it it is like a sun but when you take into account that the asteri made this book and there is the starborn symbol of 8pointed star...its probably an eight pointed star.

She stared and stared at the Book—as if it were a ghost, as if it were a miracle—and said, “It is the Leshon Hakodesh. The Holy Tongue.” Those quicksilver eyes shifted to Rhysand, and I realized she’d understood, too, why she’d gone. Rhysand said, “I heard a legend that it was written in a tongue of mighty beings who feared the Cauldron’s power and made the Book to combat it. Mighty beings who were here … and then vanished. You are the only one who can uncode it.” (acomaf)

Amren turned to Rhysand and said in that new, strange language—their language: “The glowing letters inked on her back … they’re the same as those in the Book of Breathings.” (hofas)

“I can teach you things you’ve never even dreamed of,” Rigelus promised. “The language inked on your back—it is our language. From our home world. I can teach you how to wield it. Any world might be open to you, Bryce Quinlan. Name the world, and it shall be yours.”(hofas)

Also in the coloring book the ships of the papa archeron have these on them.

Feyre: moon and stars

Nesta: sun?

Elain: eight pointed star 👀

So for feyre it checks out. For nesta...why sun? When she had eight pointed star tattoed on her back(tho now it is gone after the deal with cassian is done) I thought what could the sun mean? The cover of acosf.

That's a sun. Also it is interesting that the High Lord of Day had such a negative reaction to the mask...🤔

And now... eight pointed star for elain? That remains to be seen what it could mean...👀

So thats out of the way and now we will look into the symbol at the bottom and top which I found out is the symbol of Ankh...from Egyptian Mythology.

The ankh or key of life is an ancient Egyptian hieroglyphic symbol used to represent the word for "life" and, by extension, as a symbol of life itself.

The ankh has a T-shape topped by a droplet-shaped loop. It was used in writing as a triliteral sign, representing a sequence of three consonants, Ꜥ-n-ḫ. This sequence was found in several Egyptian words, including the terms for "mirror", "floral bouquet", and "life". The symbol often appeared in Egyptian art as a physical object representing either life or related life-giving substances such as air or water. Commonly depicted in the hands of ancient Egyptian deities, sometimes being given by them to the pharaoh, it represents their power to sustain life and to revive human souls in the afterlife.

Life...soul? We always say how Nesta is death and Elain got the life. Maybe it is more correct than we had thought???

And now the bird on the cover. There is no mention of bird symbol being on the cover of the book.(Im pretty sure of this but if Im wrong...it still stand that the only quote the book of breathings has said with bird is this) So why add bird? The only time Book of Breathings is connected with a bird is this quote:

The other one, the Book hissed. Bring the other one … let us be joined, let us be free. I slid the Book from my pocket, tucking it into the crook of my arm as I tugged the second half free. Lovely girl, beautiful bird—so sweet, so generous … Together together together

Which I totally think it is about Elain and Vassa.

Lovely girl? Elain. There is SO MANY quotes with elain and lovely.

Beautiful bird? Vassa...bird of flame.

And I made a bigger post about this(the other one) if you wanna read it.

So maybe we really need to get the book of breathings back? And Elain will use it to control cauldron?

[theeyeofeverything]

Brainworms cannot be contained so I need to confess to you one (1) thing...

Yes. I have au where sols can be saved but there is a lil thing I need to mention... not all of them will survive... ACTUALLY THEY MiGHT BE HAPPY ONLY FOR A WHILE ONLY TO DIE AGAIN. Ooops!

So let's call this thing "out of spite AU".

Basic premise is Yi saves as many sols, as he can and all of them have a lession to learn. They given a chance to grow and redeem themselfs. Not in front of apeman or remaining solarians (if there id left any), no. It's a redemption before oneself. Because yes, they will be safe for a while, but the end is the same. Kuafu will be the only solarian to survive in the end... or does he?

Mainly trough this exist to explore 4 things: 1. Dynamics between Sols 2. How they will face their inner conflict (most of them remain their initial core traits, don't worry, but some aspects of them might change a little) 3. Sols interacting with ShuanShuan (it also ties to their inner conflict! He helps others like he helps Yi to understand that life good on its own. Mainly tho its a self-indulingent cute bonding stuff between Sols and ShuanShuan) 4. Jieyi (AM SORRY I HAVE SEVER CASE OF BEING REALLY INVESTED IN GUYS OBSESSED WITH PROTAGS I AM WEAK)

Who will be saved?

- Kuafu. Same as in canon.

-Jiequan. Well, I said it would be really funny concept for him to be saved first of all people. Yi doing exactly that, initially out of spite. But it's ironic that in the literal sense Jieqan did not win - Yi just broke all of his teapods and did not let him die like a hero become a gooquan - but he won the spiritual battle. His torture made Yi better. Well, it's not but it made Yi mad enough to do the opposite of rampage. He is restraind in the pavilion at the time (but not for long)

-Goumang. After thinking (and being really pissed) abou his and Jiequan similarity he desides that he might gone a little bit rough on Goumang. When he is back at the agrocurtual hall she is alive, but gravely injured. It's a miracle she didn't bleed out by the time they arrived at the pavilion. He and Kuafu tend her wounds, but she is NOT happy to be here. At least, at first

-Nuwa. At this point in story Yi is finally giving a rest to his killing rampage. Nuwa is a strange case because she is no use to Yi. Jiequan is a fighter, Goumang is somewhat of the healer in this au. Nuwa is a spoiled mean brat. Kinda just like him! No one deserve to die like...this. He will not let her go near Fuxi, when he's down. She would cry, crawl and bite her way out, but to no avail. I will say she is safe in this au for sake of exploring her personality and how it would change with absence of her brother around. How she would become independent.

-Ji. He is the intresting case because he is wanting to die. He is tired of life. He wants to rest and join dao. However I think he might stay for a while because his hexagramm... lied to him. Jiequan has to much impact in this AU huh. Well, I think he knew Jiequan and Yi's fight would not end good. He forsaw Jiequan die... but now Yi is telling him that the last member of the jie is alive and well! I think that would intrigue Ji, actually. Why would hexagramms lie to him? Did the Yi changed course of history? And additional layer to this if certain someone once also made a hexagramm prediction untrue.

Or, maybe, hexagramms want him to preserve this story too? His last story to tell.

Who will not survive:

-Yanlao. First, at this point Yi was not ignited by spite and did not reconsider his choices! And second - he is a lesson to learn for Yi. A irreversable mistake, that can't be take back. Not that he is greiving for this loss but it kinda make jiequan with his "do you think saving me does you a good guy automathicly? With other you was not that merciful, young master Yi" sting harder. And that is making Yi pissed, but... pissed Yi is a Yi how does rethink his decisions so maybe this is for the better

-Lady Etheral. Well she is no longer in a condition to be saved. She is basicly a brain in a jar and can't be brought back. All they can do is honor her properly. Let her rest at last.

-Eigong. This is intersting case because I belive she is long lost. At least, I think she is beliving herself to be a lost cause. She will not let Yi and Goumang save her. She will go with this ship, because her role is played already. So she would go on her own terms and would not be swayed. I love her so much as a character, but this the vibe I get from her. Besides I need more drama and angst for this AU sooo...

Let's stop for now. There is a couple of aspects I want to talk about more, but I think some of my ideas will translate better trough my art!

Not now, tho. Because I need to finish funny haha comics first and THEN do serious shit.

Feel free to ask about this AU tho!

[haptronym]

Okay, I’ve been quietly enjoying MHA as it finished up. The fixation has waned and I’m generally not obsessed enough anymore to put the effort into making more fanworks. But it seems like I have a few beehives left to kick before I move on. On this episode: I got set off by this industrial-level optimism and am going to rant about misleading story shortcuts.

(Spoilers for the end of the manga.)

There's a very common phenomenon that crops up in stories everywhere. A character goes though an experience obviously meant to Teach A Profound Lesson. The character gives a wrenching speech about how they're so changed now. And then... they go right back to doing the exact same shit they were doing before. The story writes "THEY'RE DIFFERENT NOW! DOESN'T THIS FEEL SATISFYING?" on the character's forehead in big block letters, but doesn't bother to follow through. It just hopes that people will do exactly what that post does: i.e. not think very hard and pretend it’s what actually happened.

MHA does this a lot. And Izuku and All Might are both poster children for this phenomenon.

The post I linked at the top is not an example of amazing character development. It is extremely awkward proof that neither of these main characters have meaningfully changed at all. I’m also going to go on a brief tangent and argue that their behavior has absolutely nothing to do with quirklessness because the narrative itself has not given a flying fuck about quirklessness since chapter 1.

Let's start with Izuku. At the beginning of the series, his greatest dream was to be a hero. But he did nothing to achieve it. He muttered and he scribbled in a few notebooks. No training, no real effort. And then he was ready to just give up completely after talking with All Might. All Might had to chase him down and dump a miracle intervention into his lap before he finally put forth any real effort.

And at the end of the series, once Izuku lost the last of his embers, he... apparently gave up again, became a schoolteacher, and spent his days spouting cope so lame that even other teachers didn’t believe it. It seems obvious he was not truly satisfied, but we weren’t told he did anything to change his fate. He just sat around complacently, for eight years, until All Might once again swooped down and shoved a second Deus ex Machina into his hands.

Oh, and did he have a whole arc about how he shouldn’t run off alone and try to do everything himself? He should rely on the help of his friends? That’s cute. Well, anyway, he’s going to run off alone for his final fight until his friends chase him down, again.

Contrast how Izuku learned to be not so reliant on All Might's guidance. That was very cool, and most importantly, it had consequences - it got him to learn kicky kick instead of punchy punch and triggered many of the events of the Dark Hero arc. But man, it was a pretty minor epiphany for a main character carrying an entire series on his back.

I like Izuku! He's a great character. I think it's cool and realistic that he defies the typical gung-ho overcome-every-obstacle Shonen stereotype. But it’s clear he didn’t change very much over the course of the series.

And All Might? Man.

All Might sees and learns a lot of things during the story. Many of his assumptions are, seemingly, challenged. But in his badass final fight, does he show any indication that he's learned anything new over the course of the series? Any proof that he's changed as a person? Anything at all? He runs off to fight alone, like he always has. He (apparently) doesn't even tell anyone he had the suit up his sleeve! So much for working together and sharing burdens with others. "I thought your quirks were cool so I copied them for my secret robot suit lol" hardly seems like a meaningful act of connecting with those around him. And has he learned anything from watching Izuku's heartbreaking unnecessary self-sacrifice? Not according to his suicide-bomb attempt. He’s only saved by the bad guy's overpowering urge to monologue.

"But but but he learned that you can still be a hero despite being quirkless!!!" Here's the problem: All Might never says Izuku can't be a hero without a quirk. Here's what he actually says:

What does he give Izuku at the beginning of the series? Power. What does he give Izuku at the end of the series? Power, after letting Izuku stew for eight whole years. (What a swell dude. What a dad!) It is the exact same scenario.

Yes, at the beginning, he used the shorthand of quirklessness = no power, and by the end, he's eager to hand out Iron Man suits. Believe me, I wish this change happened because he struggled with his deep-seated feelings of inferiority due to his latent quirklessness and finally learned that even the quirkless are inherently Worthy and Valid. But the way the story handled it, this "character development" boils down to "Oh, right, my buddy's kid can make rad support items!"

I've pointed out before that quirklessness showed up in chapter 1 as a cool story hook and then went out for cigarettes and never returned. We learn all about heteromorph discrimination but nothing about quirkless people, even in the movie about bad guys trying to eradicate all quirks! All the story's main conflicts are about strong vs. weak quirks, "good" vs. "bad" quirks... not quirks vs. non-quirks. 

It doesn't matter to the characters either, to a truly bizarre degree. It gets dropped into Aoyama’s backstory to explain why AFO had power over him, but that’s about it. He even said it didn’t bother him as much as it bothered his obsessed-with-status parents. When Mirio is rendered quirkless... he might as well have torn his ACL. No existential grappling, no consoling speeches from Izuku or All Might, nothing besides Izuku briefly overthinking things and wanting to play quirk-hot-potato. And then Eri presses the undo button and nobody speaks about the issue again.

You'd think it would be a huge deal for born-quirkless Izuku and All Might. But they never talk about it. They never even think about it! They discuss it together for an entire two pages during the sports festival. It makes a surprise appearance in a single sentence in a single flashback of All Might's (which doesn't even make much sense... he says quirklessness means he "has no role"... after impressing Nana with the clear and detailed role he's invented for himself).

Its most important function is as a convoluted, unnecessary plot device explaining why Izuku and All Might were the most bestest OFA holders. Aside from the too-many-quirks-breaks-the-OFA-holder plot device, they could both have been born with unimpressive quirks and pretty much nothing would change about them, fundamentally, as people.

Even in the very last chapter, the part that's clearly reenacting the events of chapter 1... Izuku's mini-me symbolic stand-in is not a quirkless kid. He's just a kid with a weak quirk. You know, like 9/10 of Izuku's middle school class. The story doesn't even want to touch quirklessness in the callback to the scene where it mattered most! It treats it like an embarrassing promise it blurted out while blackout drunk that it wants to forget ever happened.

All Might still thinks of heroism in largely the same way. There are technically changes, but they’re all surface-level. He doesn’t go on about the ways you can be a hero by, say, using your huge influence and monetary resources for good. No, you’ve gotta have power. It could have been poignant that he expanded his definition of “power” from “quirk” to “cool technogadget,” but the story didn’t explore that. Izuku pays some lip service to the idea of alternate versions of heroism in the last chapter, but as soon as he gets the opportunity, he ditches his school job to go do real hero work. 

If anything, All Might’s biggest character development comes from understanding that his legacy will live on. His dream won’t die with him. The many lights of his students now burn bright with his inspiration and will see his work continued. 

But this realization is not tied to his quirklessness, and does not really affect his definition of heroism. And once again... no concrete evidence of change. Partially because the ending rushes past like a runaway freight train, but still.

This issue isn’t exclusive to All Might and Izuku. I’ve seen a lot of criticism thrown at MHA as a whole because this pattern has repeated over and over and over everywhere. Lots of poignant speeches and gripping scenes, and then the world and the characters just traipse on as if nothing happened.

After a lifetime of watching cartoons... I find it hard to get upset when serialized comics do things like this. It’s a bit like getting upset at episodic cartoons for resetting to the status quo every episode, or dinging a children's show for oversimplifying good and evil (MHA fandom: take note of this, too). Sure, there are story formats, like novels, that ought to have a well-thought-out, meaningful progression from start to finish. But that is overwhelmingly not what you’re going to get with stuff like Shonen Jump stories, where authors have to sacrifice story integrity for a million different reasons, like merch tie-ins or fluctuating character popularity or trying to ensure a high view count so they don’t get dropped. (Hi, eighteen billion explosion cliffhangers! You’re still stupid!) It is really, really hard to make a coherent story under conditions like these. I want to believe that everyone is trying their best.

But I still think it’s very important to at least be aware when this attempted switcheroo is happening. We should not let ourselves get fooled when someone goes "Yep! Lesson learned!" We need to remember that actions speak louder than words.

It's almost inevitable that certain genres, like this one, are going to take these shortcuts. It's a bit pointless to spike one's blood pressure getting mad about it. But it's still always important to pay attention. And then go write nice fanfic where things have actually changed.

[mevbotcrypto]

Unlocking Inner Peace: David Hoffmeister's Insights on A Course in Miracles

Introduction

Inner peace – it's something we all crave in a world filled with constant noise, deadlines, and stress. But what exactly is inner peace? Simply put, it's a state of mind where you're not agitated by external forces or internal turmoil. It's the calm that comes when you let go of fear, anxiety, and emotional baggage. And in today’s fast-paced world, finding this peace can feel like searching for a needle in a haystack.

Thankfully, spiritual teacher David Hoffmeister has dedicated his life to helping others discover this inner calm. His teachings, heavily inspired by A Course in Miracles (ACIM), offer a roadmap to peace that transcends the chaos of daily life.

Who is David Hoffmeister?

David Hoffmeister is more than just a teacher; he's a living example of someone who has embraced the principles of A Course in Miracles. Starting as a seeker of truth himself, David's spiritual journey began with a deep inner calling to find lasting peace. Over the years, he became a well-respected voice in the spiritual community, known for his deep understanding and practical application of ACIM’s teachings.

With decades of experience in spiritual teaching, David Hoffmeister A Course in Miracles has touched thousands of lives worldwide, offering hope, wisdom, and a sense of peace that is attainable for anyone willing to embark on the journey.

What is A Course in Miracles?

At its core, A Course in Miracles is a spiritual self-study program designed to help people achieve inner peace through forgiveness and love. The Course teaches that the world we see is a reflection of our inner thoughts and that by changing these thoughts, we can change our experience of the world.

ACIM emphasizes forgiveness, not in the conventional sense, but as a way of seeing beyond illusions to the truth of who we are. It aims to guide individuals toward a deeper connection with their true, divine nature.

The Spiritual Journey

For David Hoffmeister, spirituality isn't about rituals or rules; it's about a profound, inner transformation. His approach encourages individuals to go beyond surface-level thinking and dive into the deeper layers of consciousness. Hoffmeister views A Course in Miracles as a toolkit for spiritual awakening, helping people realize their oneness with God and the universe.

He emphasizes that the spiritual journey is not something to be rushed but a gentle process of unlearning the ego’s illusions and embracing love as our true identity.

Inner Peace According to A Course in Miracles

In the context of A Course in Miracles, inner peace is not just about feeling calm in the moment; it's about experiencing an unwavering sense of tranquility that comes from knowing your true self. The Course teaches that this peace is our natural state and that the only reason we don’t experience it is because we’re caught up in the illusions created by the ego.

David Hoffmeister explains that true peace comes when we stop looking for it in the external world and start recognizing that it’s already within us. It's a peace that can’t be shaken by outside circumstances.

David Hoffmeister’s Interpretation of the Course

David Hoffmeister’s interpretation of ACIM revolves around the idea of complete surrender to divine guidance. He often speaks about listening to the inner voice, which ACIM refers to as the Holy Spirit, and allowing this voice to guide every aspect of life.

One of Hoffmeister’s key teachings is that by stepping back and letting this divine guidance take the lead, we can release our fears and anxieties, thus unlocking inner peace.

Letting Go of Fear and Guilt

Fear and guilt are two of the biggest barriers to inner peace, according to both ACIM and Hoffmeister’s teachings. ACIM suggests that all suffering stems from holding onto these emotions, which are rooted in the belief in separation from God.

Hoffmeister teaches that forgiveness is the antidote to fear and guilt. By practicing forgiveness, we release the grip of these negative emotions and open ourselves to love, which naturally brings peace.

Living in the Present Moment

A big part of Hoffmeister’s teachings is the importance of staying in the present moment. He echoes the teachings of A Course in Miracles that say the past and future are illusions created by the ego to keep us from experiencing the peace of now.

Through mindfulness and present awareness, Hoffmeister encourages individuals to let go of regrets about the past and worries about the future. By doing so, we make space for the peace that exists in the present.

Overcoming Ego’s Obstacles

The ego is a tricky thing. It's the part of us that believes in separation, fear, and limitation. According to Hoffmeister, one of the main reasons we struggle to find peace is because the ego constantly distracts us with thoughts of fear and judgment.

Hoffmeister provides practical advice on how to recognize and dissolve these egoic thoughts. By becoming aware of the ego’s tricks, we can begin to disidentify with it, paving the way for inner peace to emerge.

The Power of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not just a concept in ACIM – it’s the cornerstone of the entire teaching. David Hoffmeister places great emphasis on this practice, explaining that true forgiveness is not about pardoning someone for something they did. Instead, it’s about recognizing that nothing real can be harmed, and thus, there’s nothing to forgive.

By shifting this perspective, Hoffmeister teaches that we can release the heavy burden of resentment and open ourselves to the lightness of inner peace.

Practicing A Course in Miracles in Daily Life

One of the most valuable aspects of Hoffmeister’s teachings is his practical guidance on how to integrate the principles of ACIM into everyday life. From simple mindfulness exercises to more profound practices of forgiveness and surrender, Hoffmeister provides clear steps for applying these spiritual tools in daily routines.

David Hoffmeister’s Global Impact

David Hoffmeister's teachings have resonated with people around the globe. Through retreats, workshops, and online content, he has spread the message of inner peace far and wide. His presence is a beacon for those who seek a deeper, more peaceful way of living.

Testimonies from David Hoffmeister’s Followers

Many of Hoffmeister's followers have shared inspiring stories of how his teachings have transformed their lives. Whether it’s overcoming personal challenges, healing relationships, or simply finding peace in the midst of chaos, these testimonies reflect the profound impact Hoffmeister has had.

Challenges to Finding Inner Peace

Despite the simplicity of the teachings, many people face challenges on the path to inner peace. Hoffmeister acknowledges these obstacles and offers compassionate advice on how to overcome them, whether it’s the fear of letting go or resistance to change.

Conclusion

David Hoffmeister’s insights on A Course in Miracles offer a powerful pathway to unlocking inner peace. By letting go of fear, embracing forgiveness, and living in the present moment, we can all tap into the peace that resides within. It’s a journey worth taking, and the rewards are profound.

FAQs

What is A Course in Miracles about? A Course in Miracles is a spiritual text that teaches forgiveness and love as the key to inner peace.

How does David Hoffmeister teach inner peace? Hoffmeister emphasizes surrender to divine guidance, forgiveness, and mindfulness as the core practices for achieving inner peace.

What role does forgiveness play in A Course in Miracles? Forgiveness is the cornerstone of the Course’s teachings, helping individuals release fear and guilt to experience true peace.

How can I start practicing A Course in Miracles? Begin with mindfulness, forgiveness, and a willingness to listen to your inner voice for guidance.

Can inner peace be achieved in daily life? Yes, with consistent practice of ACIM’s principles, peace can be experienced even in the midst of daily challenges.

[cofay]

See me like no other (mmm)

And I think I like your point of view

♡ CUPIDS ARROW ⤑

Part 1…Part 2…part 3…

You were becoming more and more paranoid with the Erotes you were getting more nervous and cautious about Izuku and you so you choose today to finally try and at least explain him what happened.

You texted him asking if you guys could meet up at a park and of course he obviously obliged happily.

You started walking down the street and towards the park dressed in a casual outfit your hair out and the wind breezing through it you held onto your bag.

After a while you make it towards a crosswalk and unexpectedly you see Izuku, unconsciously you smile and he smile back spotting you and waving you wave back a chuckle leaving your lips. You looked at his pretty face smiling even more.

As you were both waiting for the street light to turn red your smile drops as you notice something behind him.

It was one of the gods that you worked for you would think of him as a mentor well when you were younger now he was kinda of just there whenever you messed up.

And by some freaky fucked go miracle you could still see him, you wanted to warn Izuku you wanted to tell him to turn around but you didn’t know if you would like crazy or something like that you couldn’t lose Izuku you can’t afford it.

You don’t know why or how but you could still see the gods that would mean…No…no…no. Almost immediately the light turned green and you started to worry as he walked towards you, increasing your own pace you were going towards him also still keeping an eye on the god behind him.

One look.

That’s all it took to fuck everything up.

How could you let this happen you could almost see the way his eyes shifted away from you. Your eyes widened as you slowed down your pace completely watching him walk past you like you didn’t exist.

You turn around watching him approach another woman and basically linking arms with her as if they knew each other you scoff in disbelief as you watched them walking away.

And slowly you knew who did this. You knew how this happened. Those damn Erotes they told..they ran and told everyone up there about you and your new life..why why..why you. Why did you have to be so stupid.

You turned around to face the god just to find out he was gone and just like when you first saw him you followed him following Izuku to this fancy restaurant watching from the window as he walked with this girl.

Interlocking fingers…

Smiling…

So lovingly…

It was supposed to be you in that position.

You just had to ruin things for yourself right? Now you learned your lesson.

‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿

You walked back into the museum where you first met him. And you saw them all five of them you watched them as they stood there observing the same painting you did.

Suddenly you felt a rush of emotion and emotion you’ve almost never felt this intense before.

Anger…no no you’re infuriated.

Hastily you make your way towards the group.

“You back stabbing..conniving—“

you froze it was like someone had control over you one of the Erotes turn around slowly..

“What have we done wrong?”

“You know what you did!” You spat

Another turns around facing you “We were doing what we were here for.”

“You liar! You-You didn’t have to take him away it’s all your fault—“

“Our fault? You fell in love with a mortal”

Two more turns around leaving one still facing the painting. “It’s not our fault you don’t know your place in this world, Mortals are only filled with—“

“Don’t you dare say it.”

The last one turns “Greed. That’s what they’re filled with and you know it as well as we do.” You gulp panting angrily. “Why is it that you feel this way? Is being a god not enough for you?”

“…you didn’t have to tell anyone. We were happy.”

“You were happy.”

And they let you go after that flying away leaving you there alone again..as you were before back at square one. With responsibilities with your old life back. Did you want to go back to how it was. No. Of course you didn’t.

But you knew deep down there was no way for you to get what you wanted, even if you went out your way to get it. It was going to be taken away again.

Every.

Single.

Time.

[runningw-thewolves]

List of Random Crap I Associate with Fenrir

(Y’all know the drill by now.)

- The Bathroom from Saw 1

- The Human Pincushion Trap from Saw 4

- RAGE metal (as in metal that makes you think “Who hurt you?” e.g. “Slaughterhouse” by Motionless in White)

- Reaction memes (I’ve included a few examples so you know what I mean)

- Watching a character getting a verbal smack down they had coming for the past hour (e.g. Mirabel telling Alma that Alma is the reason the miracle is dying)

- Being edgy for the fun of it (but not the obnoxious, bigoted kind)

- Deadpan and sarcastic humour

- “I don’t want a life lesson! I just want an ice cream…” (cause we all know what it’s like to go through the wringer - btw, that quote is from Bluey)

- Squidward being done with everyone’s bullshit (just picture it; Fenrir hears about Odin and his dad fighting again and is just like “Well, of course they are.”)

- That TikTok sound of “Ooh, fancy pants rich McGee over here, fuck you”

- Airplane! (The spoof movie. Especially Nelson’s character (the “Don’t call me Shirley” guy))

- Being kind to yourself cause the world can be very cruel sometimes and there are days where you just wanna stay in bed

- “I have myself a good cry, dust myself off, then continue. The show must go on!” (Another Bluey quote, this time courtesy of Chilli)

- That “I’m a bad bitch, you can’t kill me!” Vine

[whoficky]

Impossible Things - Chapter 1/1

I've been going back and editing all my old work. No major changes to the fic, just cleaned up a bit.

I somehow have posted my fics under two different names on AO3, so you can find my stuff at both quirkygirl242 and whoficky.

Rating: G

Relationships: The Doctor & Jenny (The Doctor's Daughter), The Doctor & Donna Noble, The Doctor X Rose (mentioned)

Work Summary: Jenny was just starting to settle into life on the TARDIS when she begins having the strangest dreams - dreams where two words keep showing up over and over again. Bad Wolf. She's determined to find out what it all means, even if it requires a bit of sneaking around the TARDIS and confronting her emotionally stunted father.

The Doctor was engrossed in a book about a branch of mathematics only species with a time sense could comprehend when he felt the brush of consciousness that meant Jenny was awake.  Though his daughter didn’t sleep nearly as much as his human traveling companions, she did seem to need a few hours every night.  She would usually wake in the early hours of the morning, and the two of them would meet in the library or console room for what she called “Time Lord Lessons” (or sometimes “Tedious Torture Time” if she found the subject matter to be less than engaging.)  The Doctor closed the book he had been reading, and snorted at his daughter’s cheek.  She may have come into being fully formed, but she was still a child in so many ways.  Whinging about her lessons was just a piece of that.  Underneath the solider tactics she was programed with she had an innocence about her the Doctor found refreshing.  She met each new world he showed her with awe and excitement and he loved seeing the universe anew through her eyes.  It was always this way to some extent with all of his companions, but with Jenny it was different…better.  Because she was a part of him.  Because she was his daughter, a miracle anomaly doubling the population of a near extinct race.  

That was also, of course, why she drove him mad with worry.  That innocence and enthusiasm he admired so much seemed to have the downside of getting her into all kinds of trouble.   Jeopardy friendly! He thought to himself.  He took a moment to reflect on the similarities between his daughter and a certain pink and yellow human who’d also had a knack for trouble.  He wished the two of them could have met, and not only because it would mean Rose Tyler wasn’t trapped a universe away.  Thick as thieves they’d be, he was sure.  Probably get him regenerated in record time and it would be so, so worth it.  

Anyway,  best not dwell on the impossible.  Especially when he had the interesting conundrum of why Jenny had been awake for ten minutes and hand’t joined him yet to figure out.  She may complain about the lessons, but he suspected that she enjoyed the quiet time together, enjoyed getting to know each other, as much as he did.  It didn’t hurt that he maybe occasionally bribed her with new settings to her sonic screwdriver for good performance when he quizzed her…  

He set the book down on the coffee table and stretched magnificently while running a hand through his already wild hair.  It seemed he had a daughter to wrangle.  Blimey, who would have ever thought.  He smiled and headed toward the galley to see if she was waiting for him there.  He hoped she wasn’t trying to make tea again.  He had tried to show her how last week but she appeared to have inherited his habit of setting things on fire when she tried to cook even the simplest things.  Although even he could usually manage tea ever since Rose had picked up the electric kettle on one of her visits home.  He wondered if he would ever stop missing her.  Donna, and especially Jenny helped, but he thought the TARDIS could be filled with hundreds of people and it would still seem empty without Rose.  Which brought him to another reason he enjoyed the early morning lessons with his daughter.  They were an excellent deterrent to the brooding he usually took to at this time of the day.  There was just something about 3:00 AM, even when time was merely an abstract in the TARDIS, that turned one’s thoughts darker. 

Jenny wasn’t in the galley, gym, or any of the three gardens she favored.  He wondered if he should stop by her room and make sure everything was ok, but then he realized he was doing that smothering thing Jenny had warned him about.  Having her here was still so new and he wasn’t always sure how to act around her.  He supposed he did sometimes give in to his protective instincts a little too much, but who could blame him?  He’d lost nearly every person he’d ever cared about in one way or another.  He’d even lost Jenny for a few months before the TARDIS had taken matters into her own hands and landed him back on Messaline where he found a very much still alive Jenny helping with the peaceful colonization of the new world.  

Still, best to give her some space.  He’d just stop by the console room and then head back to the library if she wasn’t there.  Back to advanced mathematics and maybe even a quick kip before Donna woke up.  

  He knew Jenny was in the console room when he was still a ways down the hall from the brush of her telepathic presence.  The flickering light probably meant that she was fiddling with the projector again.  And probably using that bloody tablet of hers instead of using the manual controls like a proper Time Lord.  Kids and their toys, he mused.  If it had been a month ago, he may have worried that she could have mucked something up by playing around in there, but she had quickly shown to be a skilled pilot and mechanic.  Whatever she was doing, he figured it would be safe enough.  He was curious to see what she was up to and eager to start today’s lesson, which he decided would be focused on telepathic skills.  He could tell she was trying to shield her presence from him, but wasn’t quite able to.  But first, he thought, a little fatherly teasing was in order. 

“Jenny, you’re not playing with that tablet again, are you?  I told you, just because it looks cool doesn’t mean…” the Doctor trailed off as he stepped into the room and saw something he hadn’t let himself even wish for.  His hearts stuttered out of their usual metronomic rhythm as he forgot for just a moment that what he was seeing was impossible.  Rose!  Then the image flickered and he realized she was a mere projection.  

***

Jenny knew she was in trouble before her dad even opened his mouth.  She’d had somewhat of an idea that he’d be cross with her nosing through the TARDIS database.  Which was exactly why she had worked hard on her mental barriers before coming here.  It was bloody annoying that her dad always knew exactly where she was.  What was he, some kind of telepathic bloodhound?!  She’d already been interrupted twice when she’d tried to get a few minutes of alone time with the Old Girl, but had thought this time she’d finally managed it.  And, perhaps she would have if it had been just a quick information harvest like she had planned.  But as soon as she saw the image projected in front of her, she had not been able to look away.  In fact she was so lost in thought that she’d only had a fraction of a second warning before her dad barged into the console room, jabbering on about the tablet he took offense to her using.  It wasn’t enough time to switch off the projection, but she did manage to school her features into an innocent smile to greet him with.  Maybe she could play this off as being an accident?  But even if she got in a little trouble, at least she had finally gotten some of the information she needed.  (And she had learned quickly it was always easier to ask forgiveness than permission when it came to her father.)  But as soon as he stepped into the room and saw what she was doing, she realized she had grossly underestimated the magnitude of her indiscretion.

She was still getting to know this mad man who she was created from, but she thought even a stranger could have read the intense emotions that shown on his face in a few moments of rare openness.  First it was hope, and she felt her own smile grow bigger at the way the emotion lit up his face.  She hadn’t seen him look quite that alive since he found her again on Messaline.  But then the projected image flickered and her dad’s face had twisted in pain…and was that grief?  Longing?  Before she could pin the specific emotion down, he had moved on to anger, no, fury.  Oh crap, she thought. 

“Jenny!” he barked, his gaze finally tearing away from the projected image making her the focus of all that anger, “What in Rassilon’s name are you doing?!  I told you…I told you that fiddling in here was dangerous!  Are you trying to blow us all up?  Fly us into a black hole, hmmm?  Files have passwords for a reason, you know!  Some of that information is dangerous!”

Jenny gaped at him as he continued to ream her, taken aback by the intensity of his onslaught.  By the time he had yelled himself into activating his respiratory bypass, she was well on her way towards fury herself.  Who the hell did he think he was treating her like she was some rampaging Time Tot with a stollen sonic screwdriver.  She knew what she was doing!  Often times better than he did!  

Taking advantage of him catching his breath she raised her own voice, “I have every right to be here, Dad!  I’m not a child, not that you seem to be able to grasp that!  For a genius, you can be pretty damn thick, you know.”  His eyes narrowed dangerously at the dig, but at least he let her continue, “I’m being careful and I know what I’m doing.  It’s not like going through databases is all that dangerous, anyway.  And if the TARDIS really is my home like you said, I have every right to be here.  Or have I overstayed my welcome?” she asked, hand on her hip and head cocked in a challenge.  

It was a low blow, but she was so furious at him right now.  First it was weeks of him treating her like a child and now he was blowing up at her when all she did was hack into just a few files.  Who exactly was that hurting?!?  Well…him, she thought, some of the anger fading as she remembered how upset he had looked before he started with all the yelling.  And in light of what she now knew, she supposed that could make sense…still, that didn’t give him the right to treat her that way.  Why couldn’t he ever just talk to her?       

The Doctor sighed and seemed to deflate in front of her eyes, “Jenny, of course this is your home.  Of course I want you here.  And you can never outstay your welcome.  You’re my daughter.  That doesn’t change even when I get cross.”

“Even when you get really cross?” she chanced a smile and bit of cheek.  

“Even when you blow up the microwave and rearrange books in the library,” he nodded at her, very nearly showing a hint of a smile himself.  Oh she so had him.

“Even when I get nail polish on the console?”

Her dad puffed out a breath that was almost a laugh, “Well, I think you’ll have to take that up with the TARDIS, but I’m sure she’ll forgive you.  She hasn’t ejected you into a supernova yet, so I think it looks promising.  In fact, I’m sure she’ll give you back your nail polish any day now.”

“Oh, we’re thick as thieves, us girls,” Jenny patted a coral strut fondly, her hand adorned with freshly lacquered nails, “She did translate the database for me, after all.”

“Was wondering about that.  For a bit there I thought you were the universe’s fastest learner of Gallifreyan,” her dad smiled before continuing more seriously, “ Listen, Jenny, I’m…er…sorry?  Yes.  I’m sorry.  I guess I’m just not used to having someone around who is like me.  Just…turn the projection off and we’ll go start today’s lesson, eh?  I was able to sneak up on you, and that should never happen with your telepathic capacity.  We’ll need to work on that a bit.  Now come on.  Allons-y.”  

Jenny was almost taken in by his misdirection, but at the last second the projection caught her eye and she remembered why she was here in the first place.  She had hoped to know more before confronting her dad, but that cat was sort of half out of the bag already.  It was now or never.  

“Dad,” she called him back from where he had already started down the hall to the library.  He poked his head back into the room and she continued before she lost her nerve “Who is she?” Jenny asked gesturing to the woman in the projection.

“Jenny…” there was a warning in his voice, but she pressed on.

 “Look I’m sorry I’m snooping.  I’m sorry I hacked through the passwords.  I know some things are private, but Dad, there’s things I need to know and you never talk to me.  Not really.”

 Her dad walked slowly to stand beside her and they both stared at the flickering image. “So I’ve been told,” he sighed finally.  “Jenny, someday when you’re old like me, you’ll understand.  Being long lived…it’s not always a blessing.  You loose so many people.  Pretty soon the past becomes painful and the only way to keep on is to, well…compartmentalize I guess you could say.”

“And by that you mean forget and lock the memories away in the TARDIS database.”  Jenny realized she was pushing her luck and bit her lip as she waited for his response.  She was relieved when he snorted a laugh.

“Yeah, suppose that’s another way to look at it,” he was quiet for a long time.  “Her name was Rose Tyler,” he finally said, nodding towards the projection.  

Jenny rolled her eyes, “I know that dad.  I can read, you know.  But who was she?  To you?  All I got a chance to read was that she traveled with you a few years ago.”

She looked over at her dad and saw that he was tense, like he wanted to bolt out of the room.  “Jenny I…” she thought he was going to continue, but then to her disappointment he only brushed her off.  Like he always did when she asked about anything important.  “Doesn’t matter.  Come on.  Time for lessons.”

He reached into his pocket and with a flick of his sonic, the image of the woman blinked out.

“Hey!” Jenny was growing more than a little irritated at him again, “I wasn’t done!”

“Leave it Jenny.   Time.  For.  Lessons,” he enunciated each word as his patience seemed to wane as well.

Instead of following him out of the room, Jenny just frowned and after a few swipes of her finger on the tablet, she had the image back up and was frantically reading through the rest of the data in the file.  She was only a few paragraphs in when he came storming back into the room, sonic whizzing and eyes blazing.

“Are you trying to get your sonic taken away?!  Because that’s where you’re headed!” he yelled as they proceeded into a furious battle of closing and opening the database, “I told you to leave it!  Bloody hell!  Why don’t you ever listen!?!”

“And I told you I want to know about her!  If you won’t talk to me, at least let me read her file!” Jenny was yelling again but she was too frustrated to reign herself back in at this point.  Oh her dad could drive her mad sometimes!  The stubborn git!

“What is so important about Rose Tyler anyway?!” he barked at her, temporarily getting the image turned off before Jenny made it flicker back on.

“I have the right to know -”

“You have no right, Jenny!  No right!” he roared, “You don’t even understand what you’re doing - what you’re asking of me!”

“Let me finish!” oh great, and now she was crying and that made her voice go all squeaky.  Like that helped anything.  She abandoned the frantic tapping on the tablet to stare at him, “I have the right to know about my own mum!”

She was so busy staring daggers at her insufferable father that she didn’t realize he had dropped his sonic until it clattered to the grating.  He broke her gaze and collapsed onto the jump seat, head in his hands.  “Is that what this is about?  That you don’t have a mum?  I know I’m rubbish at this Jenny, but I’m it.  We only have each other.  And I’m trying.  Really I am.  I just don’t know how to do this.”

Jenny set her tablet on the console and sat down next to him fiddling with the rings on her finger, “It’s not about you, dad.  Not everything always is,” she tried to joke, but he didn’t laugh.  She supposed now may not have been quite the right time.  Her dad wasn’t the only one who thought they were a bit rubbish at this relationship.  She was still getting used to existing.  She didn’t know how to be a daughter.  

Jenny continued more seriously, trying to make him understand, “She’s my mum.  I know it.  And she’s gone and I don’t even know why and I’ll never get to know her.  I just wanted to at least know about her - what she was like, you know?  I just want, no, Dad, I need to know where I come from.  It’s not because you’re not enough.  You’re the best.  I’m so happy that you came back for me and that we’re traveling the stars with Donna and you’re teaching me how to be a proper Time Lady.  I wouldn’t have it any other way.  But there’s this piece of me, a whole part of me, that I don’t understand.  And Dad, I really need to.”

She stared at her fingers, not quite knowing what to expect from her father.  She really couldn’t take him yelling at her again.  She was still so furious at him, but she was also guilty for making him so upset, and hurt at how he talked down to her, and sad that she’d never get to meet her mum - like there was a hole in her life that could never be filled.  It was just an awful lot to feel at once.  She wondered if Time Lord Lessons would ever cover how to deal with things like this.  Based on her father, she was pretty sure the answer to that was no.  

She finally raised her eyes to meet his and realized he looked nearly as emotionally exhausted as she was.  “Jenny, I’m sorry.  I don’t know what brought this up, and I don’t know why you think Rose is your mum, but I’m telling you it’s impossible.  Remember what I said about losing people?  It…hurts to look back, and that’s what I had to do just now.  That’s why I got so angry.”

“So you lost her?” Jenny asked.  She knew her mum wasn’t there with then, and to be honest she was a little afraid to know why.  But the question had come out before she could hold it in.

“Yeah,” her dad breathed out, the word laced with regret and pain.

“And you loved her?” 

“Jenny…” he warned.  

She just calmly repeated the question, “So you loved her, yeah?”

“Yeah,” he answered in barely above a whisper.  

“I’m…I’m sorry Dad,” Jenny was sorry for herself too.  

“Yeah,” she was beginning to think her dad had become stuck in a time loop where he could only repeat that word, but then he continued, “She’s not your mum, Jenny.”  He sounded so tired.  He sounded just like Jenny felt. 

“No, but she is though.  I know it.  I…” Jenny got an idea and perked up slightly, “I can prove it!”

Her dad raised an eyebrow, clearly skeptical.

“Ok, for starters, just look at me,” she started, priming him to allow her to do the test she wanted him to.  “I know you can see it, see her in me.  For the longest time I didn’t know why you got this funny look on your face when you looked at me sometimes, but I think that’s it.  I think sometimes I remind you of her.”

“Just because there are a few…similarities, it doesn’t mean anything, Jenny.  I’ve traveled with loads of people.  Sometimes they’re similar.  It’s bound to happen.  I had a feeling you weren’t paying attention during our logic lesson.  That’s not proof, Jenny.”

“You’re right, and neither is the fact that I’ve been having dreams about my creation.  Dreams where your hand glowed right as they were putting it in the cloning machine.  Dreams where all the words on every sign, label, and paper say one thing, just one thing.  They say Bad Wolf.” 

Her dad gasped and she knew she almost had him, “Then last night, it was the same dream, but this time it faded into a sort of garden place and mum was there.  She knew who I was and hugged me and we cried.  She said she wished it was real.  I woke up before I could tell her that I thought maybe it was.  So what do you say Dad?  It’s not proof but I reckon it’s enough to warrant a DNA test, don’t you?” Jenny finished.  She could easily run the test herself, but she’d rather do it with her father’s support.  She was obviously rubbish at sneaking around.

The Doctor stared at the machine as it hummed through an analysis of two very important DNA samples, one from a hair he found on Rose’s brush and one from a swab of his daughter’s mouth.  It would only take minutes, which he knew in theory was a short amount of time, but right now each second felt like a lifetime.  

He’d been so angry, so hurt when he saw Jenny rifling through Rose’s file.  Not only was seeing her image painful, but the thought of his daughter stumbling on something so private sent all his emotions flying.  Some things were too precious to share, even with his daughter.  He had considered his memories of Rose to be in that category.  But now…he wasn’t sure of much of anything.  The things Jenny said, of Rose being her mum, they were impossible.  And yet, how many times had Rose and Jenny both challenged the definition of that word.  It was impossible for Rose to have taken in the time vortex and end the Time War.  It was impossible for Jenny to have come back to life without fully regenerating.  It was impossible that his daughter was having dreams about Bad Wolf.  And yet…all those things happened.  The fact that he would know for certain any moment now didn’t calm the wild speculation that was raging inside of his head.   

And what if Jenny did have a mother and that mother was somehow Rose?  It was an equally alluring and painful possibility.  To have a part of Rose here, always with him…To have created such a remarkable person with the woman he loved, it would be…fantastic.  But at the same time, could he live with the constant reminder?  Could he live with knowing that every time Jenny reminded him of his lost Rose, it was because Jenny was made from a bit of her?  And what about Jenny?  He’d always wished her and Rose could have met, but if Rose was her mum, the idle wish would turn into a deep yearning.  A girl would never know her mother and a mother would never even know she had a daughter.  There was cruelty and blessings a plenty here.

Jenny’s timid voice brought him out of his whirling thoughts, “Dad?”

He turned to face her and saw that she was fidgeting with her rings again.  For all her conviction before, she now looked like a lost little girl.  “Yes Jenny?”

“Um…I’m kinda scared,” she whispered.

It took him three short steps and he was at her side pulling her into a one armed hug, “Me too,” he admitted, “We don’t have to do this.  I can stop the test.  Or I can save the results for later, for when you’re ready.”

Jenny shook her head, “No, I’m…I’m ready.  Or close enough.  It’s just…before, when I started looking into this, I didn’t realize you had loved her.  Don’t know why.  That’s kind of the norm, right?  Mums and dads loving each other?  I think this is one of those things Donna talks about when she calls us ‘bloody aliens.’”

The Doctor chuckled recalling more than a few instances of that exact phrase coming from his companion in the couple of months Jenny had been back, not to mention the hundreds of times Donna’s exasperation had been directed at him alone.

Jenny laughed a bit herself before continuing seriously, “What I mean is that I’m scared about how this is going to change what you think of me.  You’re my dad, and most of the time I feel like I still hardly know you, but I love you.”

“Jenny…” she talked over whatever he was going to say.

“And I know you love me too.  But you looked so…sad just seeing a picture of mum.  Am I going to make you sad all the time now?” Jenny sniffed and he realized she was trying hard not to cry.

He pulled her in to a full hug and kissed her on the top of the head, “Oh Jenny, you drive me mad with worry, make me happier than I’ve been in a long time, frustrate me to know end with your bloody cheek and inability to listen to anything I say, but sad?…No Jenny, I’ll never look at you and be sad.”  He realized it was true. 

“Not even when you see mum in me?” she sniffed into his chest.

“Especially not then.  I won’t pretend to know what all this means, but I definitely know it’s a good thing.”

She shrugged out of the embrace, never one for hugs, his daughter, “Promise?”

“Yep,” he popped the P enthusiastically.  “No matter what the test says, you’re still my daughter, Jenny.  Nothing will change that.”

The machine dinged signaling the results were processed.  “Gods does everything with you have to ding?” Jenny joked nervously.

“Oi!  What’s wrong with a ding?  Ding’s a good thing! Ha!  Ding’s a good thing!  Could say that all day.” 

“Oh you’re mad, you are!” his daughter laughed.  Their laughter turned to chuckles and then they both quieted.  The very atmosphere in the room seemed to thicken with tension.

“You sure you’re ready?” he asked.

“Yeah.  Um…you?  Now that I know this doesn’t just affect me…” 

He smiled and held out his hand, “Allonz-y.”  They pushed off the counter they were leaning against and slowly approached the DNA analyzer.  He flipped open the display screen and turned it towards Jenny, allowing her to be the first to know.  He studied her face with his heart in his throat as she scrutinized the readings.

Finally, Jenny smiled widely, “I knew it!”

He thought that somewhere in the back of his mind, he’d known too.  Maybe since the beginning.

“Alright then Jenny Tyler,” He grinned wider, very much liking the sound of that, “Did I ever tell you about the time your mum and I were in London for the blitz?”

His daughter smiled, biting her lower lip and shook her head, “Well for starters, she wandered off before we had been there five minutes!  Almost worse than you, she was!  And oh, right out of a horror movie there was this empty child…” he continued the story as they made their way to the library, finding it easy, and even a relief for the words he had kept closely guarded for so long to come spilling out.  He thought about a picture album Rose had kept of their travels and decided it was about time to brave a trip into her room to fish it out.  Maybe someday the remaining pages of the book would be filled with new adventures.  Maybe other impossible things were in store.  

[bitter-lemonzz]

Study of Jean and the people around her pt.1

Dorea Potter nee Black: THAT IS MOTHER!!! Jean was a miracle baby, Dorea was past her prime but Jean was a gift from mother magic. She has naming rights because Charlus was overpowered (They had a duel for rights; Dorea won) but While Dorea was the perfect mother, she was not a perfect person: after all she was raised a Black. Jean was raised with perfection, all the trainings and lessons only an heiress and a pure blood lady requires. Dorea had a quick wit and temper to her that made it hard to win any arguments around her, she was not afraid of anything (hexing suitors were one example) Jean had a very hard time disagreeing with her mother because her mother was perfect, and Jean would always feel bad, she doesn't know why but she does. From Dorea: in her mind, her daughter could do no wrong and spoilt her with everything she had, of course they've had their tough times but Dorea couldn't bring herself to stay mad for long, she tries her best to keep an open mind at her friends choice of friends and would always try for her daughter. THAT IS MOTHER! They don't have a bad relationship, it's just sometimes being a mother daughter duo is not always suppose to be perfect. My fancast for her is: The iconic Monica Belluci!

Charlus Potter: Their relationship is like a father who wanted a boy but got a girl and wouldn't exchange it for the world, he cherishes her, calls her his princess, treats her like one. He is sweet and caring as a father, but Jean inherited that caring nature, his love for flying was passed down to her, but her competitive streak was all his wife. He adores them for the world. Charlus was the only child and while he wanted more children, he was not ungrateful of his child, ofc like any parents they had theyre moments especially when it came to boys- they would always butt heads bc Jean was too young and Charlus was old school, he wanted someone who would go through the pure blood courting process and the Potter courting process. Charlus takes pride in teaching Jean about their culture often matching and lcooking together despite having house elves. Charlus is a powerful man, he stands his ground and knows when to fall back, his wife taught him that because in many instances when they were young he would just run in, and he mourns how that would pass down to his daughter as well. He had middle name rights so as per tradition; Euphemia, his mothers name. Fancast: ;) The good ole Shah Rukh Khan!!!

Jeanette Euphemia Potter: In her mind her parents are perfect despite their faults because at the end of the day that's her parents, and she wouldn't trade them for anything else, she grew up a princess, but she also grew up with knowledge and wisdom often taught by her father and mother. Her family, through many generations, were told of their ancestors and their connections with Death, always being told to never fear Death for he is an old friend, she was never afraid, it made her more brave and adventurous, treating Death like a friend than an entity that will one day take her.

I hate when people hc james' parents to be the most perfect human beings with no wrongs, NO, PLS LET THEM HAVE FAULTS. It makes the characters more human. Relationships with parents aren't suppose to be perfect, people aren't perfect. I have complaints and I try every night to change and figure out the dynamics. JKR- you!!!!! and sometimes fanon irritates me, parents aren't perfect, they will never be- as well as their kids.

[landofzero-archive]

Ibara Saegusa - The Emissary of Shuuetsu Academy

Event: Kiseki ★ Blitzkrieg Autumn Live

Episode 1:

(Location: Shuuetsu Hallway)

Ibara: It’s been a while, Anzu-san! I’m extremely delighted to have been given the honor to meet you again! Salute~☆

Ahaha♪ Indeed! It truly hasn’t been that long since we last corresponded!

Thanks to your gracious assistance, this humble Autumn Live will be held successfully!

Option 1: Please talk normally.

(Response A)

Ibara: Does this way of speaking bother you? It’s true, people have told me it’s not fitting for an idol!

However, it’s not that easy to adjust…… Of course, I’ll do my best to fix it!

I’m still inexperienced, so I’ll continue to work hard every day! Assault! Invade! Conquer~!

(Response B)

Ibara: Oh, does it make you uncomfortable? I’m deeply sorry for causing such discomfort! I truly apologize!

…… Or rather, you don’t want me to be too concerned about it?

To be kind to even filthy trash such as myself… As expected of a wonderful person like Anzu-san! 

Option 2: Y-You’re exaggerating……

(Response A)

Ibara: What’s that? Why, your troubled face is also quite beautiful! Your beauty is so immense that I can hardly look at you!

Even the distorted eyebrows are adorable! That shape, that angle! It’s a beauty that can only be called a miracle!

It’s such a perfect golden ratio, even the goddess of beauty runs away barefooted! (1)

(Response B)

Ibara: I’m humbled by your modesty! Rather, I think it’s wonderful! Your lack of conceit is dazzling……!

As expected of Yumenosaki Academy’s only producer! An irreplaceable miracle! A light of hope!

Although it’s only been a short one week period, I’m truly honored to have met you! Thank you for your cooperation!

Episode 2:

(Location: Shuuetsu Hallway)

Ibara: It seems we have some time until Trickstar finishes getting dressed?

You probably have nothing to do while waiting so allow me to tell you more about Shuuetsu Academy!

If you have any questions, please take advantage of this opportunity! Please feel free to ask me anything……☆

Option 1: Ask about school life.

(Response A)

Ibara: Do you want to hear about lessons in particular? Well, this is something that’s only natural for students from another school to be curious about, isn’t it!

However, this is a school secret! If I let anything leak then it’d be off with my head!

It’s a cheap offer but if you’re truly interested in learning more then I recommend that you join the agency.

(Response B)

Ibara: Oh, you especially want to know about the food situation!

Well, Anzu-san  has a great eye for these things! I was thinking of showing you around later!

Shuuetsu Academy cafeteria…… You will definitely enjoy the taste of our original Japanese restaurant!!

Option 2: Ask about Eden.

(Response A)

Ibara: Hm? Haven’t you read this yet, Anzu-san? (He holds out a booklet)

This is a booklet with an overview of Eden…… Hm? You have read it?

Oh, I see you have the guidebook too! How delightful! Thank you very much!

(Response B)

Ibara: My, my, Anzu-san! You’re surprisingly shrewd!

I said I would explain about Shuuetsu Academy, but now you’re trying to extract useful information!

Ah, no, no! There’s no need to apologize! I did say “anything,” ahaha☆

Episode 3:

(Location: Shuuetsu Hallway)

Ibara: It seems everyone in Trickstar are kind people! I feel relieved!

I heard stories about it from Anzu-san and decided to do some research into it myself.

After all, my impression of them will change once I actually meet them! I’m looking forward to performing with them live even more♪

Option 1: I look forward to working with you.

(Response A)

Ibara: Hm? You would like to say hello to the members of Adam as well?

In short, you would like to meet His Excellency…… That is, Ran Nagisa-san, as soon as possible!

I’m sorry but I’ll have to keep you waiting! His Excellency is a free spirit and it’s often quite difficult to keep a handle on him!

(Response B)

Ibara: Hmm? Why are you suddenly panicking? …… Did you forget you brought your souvenir with you?

Ah, pardon my concern! Rather, I’m glad! Thank you very much!

Is it a local specialty? As expected of Anzu-san, you have a great sense of souvenir selection!

Option 2: What was your impression?

(Response A)

Ibara: After listening to Anzu-san’s stories, I can say that the members are on good terms with each other.

When I actually met them, I was surprised to see they got along with each other very well!

It was refreshing to hear them calling each other nicknames like “Hokke~” and “Sally~”! Ah, how beautiful it is to have friends……☆

(Response B)

Ibara: Ah, it’s not like I had a bad impression of them!

Not to mention Akehoshi Subaru-san and Hidaka Hokuto-san, but Yuuki Makoto-san had made quite the name for himself as a child model.

If you look into it a little, you can quickly come to the conclusion that you’ve got a great group! Ahaha♪

---

TL NOTES:

To "run away barefoot" is a Japanese expression to indicate that someone is so completely on another level in a skill/attribute that even an expert can't compare.