#a classmate i'd known for years but never really talked to asked me for help with some problems on a hw assignment last semester

[harlequinfrog]

this topic has already been discoursed to death but extremely transactional and "emotional labor"-avoidant approaches to friendship really will lead to such unfulfilling relationships bc--in my experience--deciding to help out a person i didn't yet know very well (or when people have done the same for me!) has almost always resulted in friendships i now cherish, with people i otherwise would not have gotten the chance to spend time with. obviously it's important to value your own time and set boundaries when necessary but there's so much joy in my life that would be absent if i had simply "you don't owe anyone anything"-ed my way out of connection with other people :]

[kyienyy]

hihi! I don’t know if you are taking requests still :,< but if you are I have something for you!

could you possibly do an academic enemies to lovers troupe with bangchan and male reader? :0

first place in my heart.

bangchan x male reader wordcount: 762 genre: academic enemies to lovers troupe, non idol au

'its just another day', you thought to yourself.

you walk down the hallway, rushing to your next class. when you get there, the whole class is filled, but the teacher isn't in sight yet. you sigh in relief and sit down, but you notice a certain curly haired boy looking at you.

of course, your biggest fan, bang chan, is staring you down. you've known each other since elementary school, and you two were always the duo competing for the highest grades in the class. you stare back at him, and he looks away with a small blush on his face.

the professor walks in and starts their discussion. the professor decided to group your class into groups of two, and with no surprise, you were grouped with chan.

your class arranges your chairs so that you're directly looking at each other, and you both sit down. you're writing down notes to share with him when you notice chan taking small glances at you every time he looks down at his notebook to take notes, but you scoff it off and continue writing.

you find yourself taking small looks at him too, though. you admire his sharp jawline and his beautiful nose. you realize what you're doing, and you snap out of it and continue to write. 'why am i feeling this way?' you think to yourself.

you give him your notes, and he reads them quietly. he nods his head, and he smiles at you. you blush slightly, but you cover your face with your hands and look down.

the class ends, and lunch break starts. you walk to the crowded cafeteria and you buy some food at the counter. you finally sit down and start eating your food, when suddenly, chan sits down on the seat in front of you.

"yes?" you ask. "what do you mean 'yes?' i wanna talk to you about the project." he half teases. you stay silent and just continue to eat. "actually, let's just talk later, okay?" you nod, and he starts eating his food.

you can't help yourself from staring at him while you eat. his curly hair and his monoloid eyes shine when the sunlight hits it, and he catches you staring at him. "is there something on my face?" he asks with a genuine tone. "uh- no... i wasn't looking at you. i was looking at the person behind you, " you lie.

he takes a peek behind himself and looks back at you. "theres no one behind me. just tell me you find me handsome, i won't bite." he teases. chan winks at you, and he finishes his food. he stands up and walks away.

'what the hell? why does he make me feel all these emotions?'

all your classes finally end, and you walk out of the building. you're about to call your parent to tell them that you're going to you might meet up with one or your classmates for a project when someone taps either side of your shoulder.

you turn around and chan is standing in front of you. he grabs you and pulls you outside to the side of the school. "i know this isn't related to our project, but... don't get mad at me when i say this." he holds your hands in front of you.

"this is really random, and i just felt this need to tell you. it's so weird." he frowns and looks at his feet. "just tell me, chan." "i like you."

"what?" "i like you." your eyes widen. "i've liked you for years now. i'd never be mad whenever you scored higher than me. i'd be proud, actually. is that weird?"

your face blushes, and you start fidgeting with your hands. you look down at your feet and answer quietly, "give me a second- i-" you stutter.

he looks at you with a concerned face. "i think- wow... i like you too."

he smiles brightly, and he hugs you. you return his hug, and you can't stop yourself from blushing and smiling. he pulls away and cups his hands over your cheeks. "can i kiss you?" he asks politely.

you nod your head and and he leans into you. he kisses you softly, and it makes your legs weak. this kiss wasn't like any other. this kiss is so selcouth.

he pulls away, and he gives you his signature "no-eyes" smile. you chuckle and caress his cheek. "now, let's go do our project, yeah?"

"yes, sure. your house or mine?" "my house, i know my parents would love to meet you" he smiles. "wait, let me tell my parents." you add.

major writing block rn,, i am so sorrryyyy D:

requested

[choibinn3]

GET IT TOGETHER, JUNGWON!!

[ four. O_o Yang Jungwonnie ]

series masterlist

⋆·˚ ༘ * in which jungwon had meant for that love letter to go to yeri, and not you—her bff. for some reason though, he finds that with each moment he spends together with you he's closer and closer to forgetting all about that damn letter.

luv note - chloe moriondo

WRITTEN PORTION. 1.9k words

btw remember that second hand embarrassment tag?? yeahh....

ps. this is bad, very, very bad and cheesy so be warned (its meant to be, but youll still feel pain lol)

—

student council room.

Jungwon could feel his hands clamming up, but he instead urged himself to just swallow down his nerves. For the past week he thought the biggest worry he had was his parents and Student Council work.

Not potentially losing friendships and breaking your heart.

"Jungwon? Are you still there?" your voice asked. It was slightly muffled by the door, but still distinct. "I had to tell Hyuka to go back without me."

You, he remembered. He had to fix this. He had known you since you were both in kindergarten, incidentally somehow being in the same classes up until High School. Still, he didn't know you though.

You were closer than acquaintances, maybe a little less than friends, and definitely not more than people with mutual friends. With everything that had been happening since the Student Council election, he had assumed he'd get closer to you naturally. It just never happened though, but he enjoyed your company when he could.

Yeri on the other hand, he was connected with. Being both Student Council President and Vice President meant they worked together often, and he found himself being drawn to her sweetness. He enjoyed their dynamic and their current friendship.

The way they worked complemented each other, and she always found a way to make him smile—it seemed as though her kindness and generosity knew no bounds. Plus, she related to him in a way none of his other friends did.

Late, after class and after hours, they'd both talk casually while doing paperwork. Jungwon's parents were hardheaded and stubborn people, wanting the best for him and yet stressing him out. They were the whole reason he ran for President in the first place.

He couldn't find it in himself to hate them though.

Yeri was the same, and she supported him throughout all the difficult times he went through because of them. She was soft, so level headed, fiercely loyal, and unbelievably pretty.

They had been partners and friends for a little over a month, and Jungwon was sure he wanted to at least try with her. It was young, new and unfurling feelings, it was something he wanted to find out.

Your energetic personality was charming, but that was all it was. It didn't strike his heart in any particular way. Jungwon was almost 100% sure there was no way Yeri would ever date him after this, but he needed to prioritize your feelings currently.

He just hoped Yeri and him could still be friends afterwards though—because being a liar was the one thing Jungwon wasn't.

"Yeah," he called out, "still here. You can just come back in now."

He watched as you nervously peeled back the sliding door of the clubroom, inching inside to peer at him. You walked closer to stand in front of him, and Jungwon smiled in hopes of easing your anxiousness.

You threw one back, although a bit hesitantly. "Jungwon," you started, twiddling with your fingers. He simply watched—wanting to at least let you talk a bit. Crushing your feelings now would be nothing but brutal. "Honestly, I was really surprised with the letter. Do you... remember back in 3rd grade?"

"No? I'm sorry, I'm not good with memories from Elementary School," the doe-eyed boy replied. He was telling the truth, grade school felt like ages ago and he just hasn't had the time to reminisce on childhood memories.

You held your hands up in a defensive manner. "That's fine! Um, you like... Uhh, how do I say this..." You made gestures with your figures, hoping to convey it to him in one way or another. God, this was dumb.

Jungwon observed silently as you laughed at your own stuttering. Endearing, came to mind. That was cute.

In the Council Room and in class, you were always particularly enthusiastic and excitable. Seeing you bashful was a very different side of you for the black-haired boy.

"I sent you my own love letter once. Like, a long, long time ago, and you sort of rejected me? I think."

"You think?" The boy held back a laugh, but quickly composed himself. He wasn't laughing maliciously, just... how could you be unsure of such a thing? "I'm sorry, but I still don't remember."

"Yeah, that's fine!" You nodded, embarrassed from his almost-chuckle. You did not want to seem like an idiot in front of him today. "Actually, I don't remember much either, but you didn't reply to it."

Jungwon gazed at your brows furrowed from trying to think of more words to say, and suddenly he felt a tonne of guilt fall onto him. His expression grew solemn.

Quick, get it over with, before this would get any worse.

"Look, YN—"

He had to shut his mouth almost immediately.

"What I'm trying to say is—!" You took a deep breath. "I've liked you since then! Since years, and years ago," you finally blurted, closing your eyes as to not see his reaction.

"You're the only one I've ever felt this way towards. I thought once I grew up this warmth would just... go away, but it hasn't and I don't think it will. I was honestly going to just swallow it all down hoping I'd get over it before we graduate, but I couldn't. My feelings were overflowing—I just found myself finding more things about I liked about you instead."

Your goal today was to not embarrass yourself, but to hastily tell him you liked him too before sprinting away. It seemed as though nothing was going to plan so far, for neither of you, actually.

Jungwon was left unable to speak from your surprising declaration. You took that as a sign to continue. Whatever happened next was something for future you to panic over.

"I like your dimples, that smile you make when you're passing by strangers in the hallway, and the way your hair falls when you comb through it. You're admirable in everything you do, truly. The way you help underclassmen, the way you always make sure to assist teachers during your free periods, and how you never seem to complain or get frustrated when we make mistakes."

You had nurtured your feelings for what felt like forever. Even when you were technically rejected back then, and even now. At first, you thought that he would be a passing crush from when you were a kid—but he wasn't. He grew into his own so much so that you found yourself admiring his leadership, compassion and thoughtfulness with each day you watched him.

"I like how mature you are, how you still find the time to care for your friends even with Student Council work, the natural way you light up any room you walk into, how I could honestly hear your voice talk for hours on end, how even though we haven't spoken much you still remember my favorite color from when I told you during introductions, I'm rambling gahh, just—all of it! I like all of it, everything about you!"

Everyday of harboring your secret affections for the boy consisted of soft glances during his speeches, wishes to be able to encase his hand within yours to interlock your fingers under the table during meetings, and wantings to be more than what you were to him. It was alright for a while, but it had started to become painful.

All crushes are painful, you told yourself in 5th grade, watching him start to receive confessions from your classmates.

"—I like you! I've liked you since the 3rd grade, and so I accept! I really, really want to be with you Yang Jungwon. Please take care of me!"

They were all painful, but you were given the chance to make yours not. To make your feelings real and acknowledged, to bare yourself in front of him like a vivisection—and you were taking it. Even when you were practically trembling from the embarrassment.

Jungwon was stilled from the shock. Heeseung had already told him of your long held feelings, but hearing it from your mouth while you had your eyes shut tight made him flustered.

How were you able to do that so shamelessly? To be so vulnerable and weak in front of someone? He had to write a whole letter, albeit a bit poorly, and somehow you were able to say it all.

He's received confessions before, felt those kind of feelings, but he wouldn't have been able to yell out those sort of things ever—no matter how strong his feelings were. You were dangerously bold, he thought.

Bold enough to send a bright heat to overtake his cheeks.

You looked up finally after mustering enough courage from his lack of speaking, only to find yourself blinking at a red-faced Jungwon. Oh my God, he's blushing...! YOU did that.

The both of you stood there for a while, thinking the same thought of what is even happening? Is this real, or have I just been in a daze for the past few days? Jungwon's eyes were comically wide and his mouth was gaping, but he couldn't find it in himself to close it.

The thought made you gain confidence all of a sudden, finding the opportunity to do something you had always wanted to do. Quickly and stealthily, you went onto your tippy toes—

and kissed him on the cheek.

Jungwon felt your lips on the smooth expanse of his skin, and smelt your scent from the intimate proximity. It was a chaste gesture, almost no where close to his lips at all, but he heard his heart beating against his ribcage nonetheless. It thrummed in his ears like a drum, and he wanted to whisper for it to stop.

For it to not be swayed so easily.

It was the innocence of such a thing that got to him. Not once had Jungwon held hands, kissed, or even confessed to someone up until now. Of course, you suddenly getting so close and pecking him with your hands balled up would send his heart into a flurry.

The usually put together Student Council President in front of you let out a strangled noise from the back of his throat, the tips of his ears and face becoming rosier. His throat was closing up, God, why was his throat closing up? Not now, please. He couldn't even remember what he was meant to be saying.

You smiled at him, happy to be rendering him to such a state. It was one of the most impulsive things you've done up to date, but you couldn't find yourself regretting it.

This was what those coming of age dramas on TV were describing—it was the start of one of those cheesy, really bad High School romances. Fervent, mushy, uncertain, but so tender it made your heart ache for hours even after watching.

As you retreated slowly, he caught a glimpse of your bright eyes, downcast lashes, and—holy shit you were so close. He could see the particular way you curled your lips.

He had to hold his breath.

Jungwon watched as your expression morphed into one of slight mischievousness, and an inkling of something softer, before you dashed out the sliding doors—

"Wait!

The sudden motion made him gain his words back, but you were already through the hallways with your hand on your bag.

—leaving him with nothing but the memory and the patter of your footsteps. So fast, so much speed, were you in track? The past few seconds were nothing but a blur of confusion and feelings he didn't want felt.

What just... What just happened?

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TLDR (but whyy :( pls read it); jungwon goes to do take backsies on his confession, u kiss his cheek, he goes coocoo bananas!!!

TAGLIST; @lumixen @ghjasksdk @atinyyylove @jjikyuu @yjwooon @ncityy04 @tyunni @littlewolfieposts @xoxojayd3n @rosiechaengz @sunshine-skz @youreverydayzebra @hobistigma @plshhhhhhh @lokideadontheinside @alo-ehas @milkycloudtyg @bangtopia

send an ask or dm

i wanted to emphasize how new his feelings for yeri :] if u could guess what this could mean. alsoooo... did u notice how fast this went ? i intended it to be rushed and "in the moment" like it was in the scene hehe

[hobipaint]

A Story Told On Sand

summary: The setting sun gives time for Jungkook to cherish his family.

↳ pairing: jungkook x reader

↳ genres: fluff, like so much fluff, established relationship, slice of life au.

↳ word count: 1.4K

↳ disclaimers: none.

a/n: A completely self indulgent Jungkook fluff drabble written at two at night haha,, I was really going through it. Written for the @bangtanwritingbingo prompt no. 14 - watching sunsets/sunrises, and for @btscreatorscorner June workshop- writing from a member's POV! a massive thank you to @jikookiekosmos for making the banner for me😭 and a massive thank you to @vaekth and @joonscore for bearing with me because I just kept talking on and on about this in your dms lol.

Jungkook leaned back, eyes shutting close as he felt the breeze kiss over every inch of his skin. The warm sunset was only just spreading across the sky, a bright yellow turning to a scarlet - as if the sun was blushing at the idea of leaving the sky, it's lover. 

"It's nice," You sighed, hands resting over his as you looked at the sunset. 

Jungkook looked at you, smiling, and hummed in agreement. "I like this scenario, you know. A sunset, the kids are playing in the sand, and your hand in mine. My day is coming to a good end." 

You turned to face him just as he lifted your joined hands to his mouth to leave a small kiss. You smiled, with your other hand coming up to pull your hair to the side, and Jungkook remembered why he fell in love with you all over again. He looked at you, your eyes sparkling in the deep orange of the sunset, keeping his eyes locked with yours as he pulled you closer. 

Kissing you never got old. 

His lips softly settled on yours, the feeling of them feeling right. Your scent- an unlikely mix of mint, from his perfume, and chocolate, from baking with the kids earlier today- filled his surroundings - and he didn't want anything more. His hand clasped yours, thumb tracing small universes over the back of your hand - universes where it was only you, him and your family. You other hand languidly traced up his arm, curling behind the nape of his neck to pull him closer. He felt you smile, nearly giggle, and it was only seconds before the two of you pulled away and just laughed. It felt good to be here. It felt good to be with you. 

The setting sun cast beautiful spells over the waves that were splashing and playing around in the sea, washing them in shades of burnt red and gentle yellows. The glimmering swell of water that leaped over the sand had your children squealing in delight, running away from the wave. You waved them over, watching as they ran helter skelter to collect their sand toys before running the two of you. 

Jungkook spread his arms out as his daughter ran to her father, not minding the sand that stuck to her body as she leaped on him - squealing in happiness at being reunited with her partner in crime. You reached over to ruffle her hair, eyes crinkling as your son walked over and buried his face in your lap, finally exhausted with the events of the day. 

It was a vacation for you and him - time to spend with family. There were so many highs and so many lows in your daily lives that it was exhausting, even if you loved your work - and you both needed that break, even if it was only for a weekend. Now, as he watched the waves crash into each other and then end in bubbles, he felt that peace he had wanted. 

"Tomorrow, we will go back to the city. Right, dad?" Your daughter sat up and spoke to Jungkook, his hand coming up to caress the hair that flew wildly behind her, settling it behind her ear. "Yes, my bunny. We're going back tomorrow." 

"Good!" She beamed at him, and Jungkook felt his heart swell. She took his palm, and he couldn't help but be amazed at how wonderfully she had grown up - he remembered when he would walk her around with her clinging onto his pinky finger only, and now her hand fit in the palm of his hand, big enough to clutch his hand and swing it while playing games. "I wanted to show you a drawing I had made for you and mommy." 

You turned towards your daughter while petting your son's head, fingertips gently untangling the heap of curls in his hair as he slept soundly. "What drawing, baby?" 

"I made a big girl drawing. Teacher had said it was really good!" Your daughter beamed, missing incisors displayed in a beautiful smile that strangely reminded Jungkook of your own -upper lip quirking in a way that he thought only you could, till his daughter first beamed at him. The thought made him smile.

"Really? I can't wait to see it then, bub. We'll pin it on the fridge too!" You cheered for her, her eyes widening in happiness and surprise at the sudden announcement. She jumped onto both of you, nearly knocking her brother off his mother's lap as she squealed again, screaming to the waves in the distance about how she loved her family. "We will be here forever!" she said, happily clapping.

After a few more moments of excited babbling - including a certain confession she had received from a classmate ("I promised not to tell anyone, but I didn't want to hide it from you! He said he loved me!") Jungkook's shocked exclamation at his baby getting confessions, you laughing, and her defending her 'friend', she was peacefully dosing on Jungkook's lap. His hand went to softly pat her hair, humming a soft lullaby - the same one he had sung to her for years- for all the times she wouldn't sleep at night. 

Eight years, and she still paraded up to him at night to demand the lullaby, and Jungkook would simply cherish that time as he would caress her head, wishing her sweet dreams and tucking the blanket in. "It's to keep the monsters away, " he'd hear her murmur everytime, and he'd smile before returning to his wife and son in the next room, softly patting his son's cheek, kissing his wife good night, and falling asleep. 

Looking at you now - your eyes paying attention to the two year old that had curled up in your lap - he held back the sudden urge to shout in happiness like his daughter had. That's what he felt. Overwhelmed with happiness. He didn't believe that he actually got to live with this euphoria in his life. One look at the three of you made him feel so proud, so responsible, and so loved - he simply couldn't put it all into words. 

Your head came to rest on his shoulder, and Jungkook leaned his head over yours, hands finding each other. You squeezed his hand tightly, and sighed - and he understood you. This silence, this time - it all meant so much for the two of you. 

"Once we go back, we're probably not getting time like this again, are we?" You whispered, letting the words fly away with the breeze. 

"Maybe. Who knows, I'll whisk you away on a getaway next week?" He smiled, and though he couldn't see you, he knew you were smiling, too. 

"Maybe? What about our daughter's annual day, mister? Forgot so soon?" You laughed as you spoke, punching his arm playfully. "I guess my husband is turning old already." 

"Hey!" Jungkook said, trying to fake his anger even if he couldn't take the smile off his face. "I remembered it, of course I remember! I had to learn the ballet routine as well!" You laughed again, the sound familiar and known to him- his heart beating a happy beat. "I twisted round and round, over and over, and nearly ripped my pants."

"Mmmm, and I didn't see you complaining after this baby appreciated you." Jungkook watched you caress your daughter's hair, then her cheek, and settle on the sand. "You went for it all the way." 

"I would always go all the way for her. And for this pumpkin too." He pointed at his son, and you giggled. "And for you too. You're my world, you know that?" 

You raised your head to face him, Jungkook almost complaining at the loss of your body heat right near him. "And you're mine. You, and our kids. You're all my everything." 

Jungkook's eyes softened, pulling you closer for you to rest your head on him again. You leaned against his chest, and Jungkook bent down to kiss the top of your head before leaning back to bade goodbye to the sun. 

"I think sunsets look the prettiest, don't they?" You marvelled at the sky, lush shades of warm orange letting hints of blue peak through as the sky prepared for nightfall. 

I think everything looks prettier when it's with you, Jungkook wanted to say, but he lets the babble of the returning seagulls fill the space. His hands wrap around you, letting his eyes look to the sky once again, awed by everything around him now. This was all he needed. 

"I love you," he murmured, pressing another kiss to his lover as the sun set upon the evening. 

a/n: I'm not really sure if this would be drabble length or fic length, but I'd like to think of it as a drabble. Writing this was really warm and comforting for me, so I hope that it gave you a similar feeling. I'd love to hear any feedback you have either as a comment, reblog, or as an ask! Thank you so much for giving your time to my work 💞 love, hazel 🤗

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[idiots-at-sonobeno-high]

Hey Sara!! Can you tell me about your friendship with Joe and/or Ryoko?

"Of course, yeah!" Sara replies, leaning her head on their hand. Talking about her friends was always pretty fun, and now was definitely no exception! Xe taps their fingers on their chin, drawing out a small hum as she thought about where to begin.

"Well, for starters... I've known Ryoko since about... seventh grade, I think? Yeah, around that time. I don't wanna go into it too much, but she's been there for me a lot. I don't know what I'd do without them," he adds a laugh, though the statement remains true. "We tried going to summer camp together between seventh and eighth grade, but my parents signed me up for the wrong camp, so we wound up spending our summers apart. It was pretty unfortunate, but I guess it wasn't too bad. I'm definitely being careful next time, though."

"Erm... All in all, Ryoko's really sweet. I can see why Joe's head over heels for her," she says, letting another laugh leave their lips. "It does make me wonder how their date went, though... I never did get to hear about it, but I suppose it's really none of my business. I'm assuming it went well, considering neither of them were weird about it the following day. Now that I think about it, though, they haven't been acting differently at all. It's hard to tell if it went well or not when they act like it never even happened, haha. A-Again, it's really none of my business, so I should probably move on."

"Hmm... Well, I've known Joe since freshman year. He sat next to me that year, and we were taking some pop quiz in math. As the teacher was handing out papers and stuff, he had asked to borrow a pencil, and I just lent him one for the period. I... ended up forgetting about it, though, and he seemed to as well, because I didn't get it back until a week later. He called it something like a 'lucky pencil', if I remember correctly. I think I still have it somewhere at home...?" Sara pauses, almost abandoning the question in favor of trying to remember where they placed it last. Eventually, she shakes her head, getting herself back on track. "... Ah, whatever. Soon after, a teacher recommended I try and do some tutoring, and he happened to be one of my classmates that I helped after school. We... honestly didn't get much work done, but it was pretty fun."

"Joe's a great person, he's really..." Sara motioned with her hands, trying to pick the right word. "... Like, energetic? Yeah, that's a good way to put it. Energetic... sweet... oh, and very silly and funny. He's cool, I'm honestly surprised our classmates don't hang out with him as much as I thought. Maybe it's the appearance. It makes him stand out a lot, though, and I like that! Wouldn't change a thing about him."

"In short, I... really love my friends. They mean far beyond the world to me, and I'd give anything for them. I'm honored to have such awesome people in my life. They've done more for me than I could ever truly thank them for, and I hope they know I appreciate them greatly."

[desertofsnowflakes]

Incorrect Order Chapter 2 (Nessian AU)

A/N: DO inform me if you wanna be added/removed from the taglist! If you happen to find my storyline similar to another fic or one of yours, I'm extremely sorry, I might've just not known. All characters belong to the author Sarah J. Mass. Enjoy!

Summary: Don't first impressions always affect the way you see someone? Well, what more with the Nesta Archeron? Nesta meets Cassian at few unexpected places and to say it didn't go well was a major understatement. Certain circumstances make them become enemies to tolerable company to friends to lovers.

Trigger Warnings: Abuse and Swearing

1957 words | Part 1 | Read on AO3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cassian was waiting. And waiting. And waiting. He waited for the day he would forget the woman’s face. He waited for the day he could close his eyes without seeing her blue-grey eyes blazing in anger. He waited for the day he wouldn’t burn his bacon because he was thinking about her.

He had mused, how the face of a stranger was branded into his mind vividly. He would be lying if he said he hadn’t wondered if they’ve known each other before or have seen each other somewhere, anywhere before the day in the mall—even if on photographs or at an event or at another shopping mall. Still, he desperately wanted to forget about her. He wanted to forget that she ever existed. He wanted to forget their encounter in the mall that day. He wanted to forget everything about her, even though deep down, he knew what he wanted was far from forgetting her.

But he couldn’t afford this. He couldn’t afford to think about her at all times. He was getting distracted at work. His part-time job as a martial-arts instructor and as a sommelier was in a precarious position if it went on like this. He nearly tore one of his student’s muscles in his centre and got at least 5 orders wrong at the restaurant he was working at.

On a Saturday noon, Cassian decided the best way to clear his head was to dive into a war book or reread Secrets Of The Sommeliers for probably the millionth time.

* * *

Nesta flinched at the sudden ping of the oven timer. Again. She’d been thinking about him again. This was the fourth time in the whole week when she burned her cheese sandwich and she was getting so tired of this. She urgently needed a way to stop thinking about him. To stop seeing his insufferable grin whenever she closed her eyes. To stop thinking about him at almost all times.

It struck her as odd, the fact they didn’t even know each other’s names but she kept seeing his face as if they’ve known each other before. She gasped. What if they had known each other before? What if they were probably neighbours from Nesta’s old house or classmates or maybe they went to the same college. Nesta shook her head.

But why should she care? No, she doesn’t care. She doesn’t care what his name is or if he even has a name. She doesn’t care if she’s had the misfortune of seeing him before or if that was the first she’s seeing him. Or so she kept telling herself. She couldn’t afford to have him occupy her thoughts. She had better things to do. But all these excuses weren't enough to stop her from still thinking about him.

Nesta looked at her clock. It was a Saturday, almost noon. Maybe reading a spicy book or two will help.

* * *

Cassian loved the House of Wind library and bookstore. They had a variety of books in almost any genre. He'll admit though, that some of the librarians here are better left alone. He was lucky he came here often and therefore knew a handful of the merrier librarians. He made a beeline for his favourite section, books related to wine, best books for sommeliers.

On his way to the shelves he had committed to memory, he realised that there was a big poster about their annual Free Premium Membership Fest where 20 fortunate, early birds would get their membership card updated to premium with a number of privileges. Cassian's whole being was elevated. He missed the last fest they held and had been waiting for the next fest. He wondered how he could forget such an important thing. Oh. Right. Of course. A certain lady was occupying his thoughts. He sighed. He forgot about that too.

He was quite disappointed when he reached the counter. The fest started yesterday and the computer stated that there was only one person left till 20. What truly disappointed him was that Clotho wasn't at the counter as she usually was. Maybe she'll be in the—

“If you're done staring at the computer maybe you could deign to move so it can really serve its purpose of being a public property?” Cass froze. He'd know that voice anywhere. This was the voice taunting him at all times. “And if you have coffee in your hands, I'd suggest you turn slowly.”

He smirked. So she knew who she was talking to.

“Well, looks like the damage would be lesser this time since your clothes aren't white,” he observed.

“I figured black would hide stains caused by ogling, clumsy people better than white,” she said. “Now, if you could move, I want to register for the Membership Fest.”

“Register? What do you mean by ‘I want to register for the Membership Fest’?”

“A register, you know,” she teased, “Something like a form where you fill your details if you want to join something?” She smirked at his glare.

“Well,” he said, “if there is a register let me fill it first.”

“Because your ego is bigger?”

“Ha-ha, very funny,” he dead-panned. “I came here first.”

“Here as in the counter or the library? Because I’m pretty sure I stepped into this library first.”

Cassian quickly checked the database where the information of all members appeared. He turned back to her with a self-satisfied smirk. “The database shows otherwise, sweetheart.”

She scowled. “I don’t believe you. You might’ve tampered with the information.”

He moved slightly to the side to give her a better view. Her scowled deepened.

She rounded on him. “You,” seethed. “You did—”

“Hello,” a new, shy voice said.

“Hey, Gwyn,” they both said in symphony.

A look of surprise crossed over her features before it faded away. When the woman turned to Gwyn, she wore a huge smile. “Oh, look, she smiles,” he muttered, earning him a glare.

“Is the fest still on?” Cassian asked.

Gwyneth Berdara, one of the joyful librarians here, said, “Unfortunately, not. We just got our 20th member.”

Cassian’s face fell. He noticed the same of the woman too. Gwyn, always the optimistic one, said cheerfully, “Maybe we could reserve one for the both of you next year?”

They both murmured their assent before Gwyn offered her farewell and went back to the staffroom.

The woman turned back to him. “This is all your fault,” she hissed and stalked out of the library, leaving Cassian more confused than ever.

* * *

Nesta went to the library to find solace or at least a semblance of it. Seeing the man there, however, left Nesta more rattled than she would care to admit. Rattled, and angry. Angry at the universe for giving them these unfortunate encounters. Angry at him for following her wherever she went. Angry at herself for feeling such futile emotions. Angry at her body for reacting to him.

She was also upset that she didn’t get a free premium member cr

Nesta was so occupied with her thoughts and emotions that she didn’t realise she was taking the wrong route. She wasn’t familiar with this part of Velaris. She also didn’t realise she was being followed. It was distinct, the sound of hushed breathing, of the soft thuds of footfalls. The footsteps sounded heavier which most probably meant it was a man. She couldn’t really be sure, though. This was a person who was not experienced in stalking but was trying hard enough.

Nesta knew she shouldn’t panic but couldn’t help the bout of fear that crashed through her. Nesta tried to stay calm. She tried to make sure she didn't quicken her pace. She tried, cauldron, she really did. But her fear was slowly overpowering her senses. She felt the urge to run away from her stalker.

But that wouldn’t be wise. Running away from her stalker isn’t a good choice. It wasn’t smart. Who’s to know he wasn’t armed? What if he was faster than her? What if her stalker was faster than her? He might be stronger too. He could over power her and cage her in. She didn’t even know what his motive was.

Then, Nesta made a ridiculously huge, dumb mistake. She turned to an abandoned alley. At least it looked abandoned. She let out a frustrated breath. Running away was at least better than getting stuck in an alley. So much for ‘that wouldn't be wise’. She looked around, trying to get a sense of where she was or if there were any means of escape, however meager it might be.

Suddenly, she was slammed to the alley wall. The rough cold stone was unforgiving and unyielding under her cheek. Her windpipe was closed off and she was struggling to get some air in. She fought to get free but her captor —a man, as she guessed— was too strong. Somehow, his hands felt familiar to her. As if she were long acquainted with this person’s touch.

“What do you want?” she gasped out.

He chuckled, the sound grating through her very bones.

“My little Nesta,” he whispered, his hot breath ghosting the shell of her ear. “Ever the stubborn one.”

That voice. It was one that she couldn’t forget as hard as she tried. Tomas Mandray, her ex-boyfriend, was someone not easily forgotten.

“Tomas,” she said. She couldn’t bring herself to be nice. Not now, not after how he treated her. “What the fuck do you want? Let me go.”

“I see you haven’t changed at all.”

“I can say the same of you.”

“Mhm. You broke up with me and then you called the police. Got me stuck behind bars for two fucking months.”

“Good riddance,” she muttered.

He slammed her head against the wall. Hard. Blinding pain shot through her. He yanked her hair so hard she was afraid chunks of it came out. Her head only throbbed harder.

“Manners were never your cup of tea,” he hissed.

“You were not that kind either. You were an empowering, possessive bastard and I don’t regret watching you grovel to the police for freedom for one fucking moment and I won’t ever.”

He growled and slammed her head against the wall again. She cried out and was pretty sure she heard something crack. She felt the metallic tang of blood on her lips, streaming from her nose freely.

“Oh, you will. You’ll regret everything. Every. Single. Thing. For your whole god-damned life. I’ll make sure of it, bitch,” he promised.

He tightened his grip on her hair that sent another wave of agony through her. She caught the glint of something in the fading sunlight. A knife. Of course he had a knife.

He had a knife while she was a mess, kneeling on an alley, completely at the mercy of one of the people who hated her the most. Pathetic. So, so, pathetic. She hated herself for whimpering. She hated herself for being this weak. She hated that she had gotten panicked enough that she turned to an alley, where no one would know.

Here, in this unknown alley, with the person she hated the most, Nesta Archeron was going to die. She was going to die a death as unknown as the place she was in. Maybe even without her sisters knowing. Shit. Her sisters. If only she showed all her love to sweet Elain and brave Feyre, if only she even went to meet her brother-in-laws, Rhysand, Azriel and Cassian, maybe things would’ve been different. She closed her eyes, fighting the emotion in her throat. I’m sorry Elain, Feyre, Rhysand, Azriel and Cassian, I’m so, so sorry, was the last thing in her head before she felt acute pain and succumbed to the dragging talons of oblivion.

taglist:

@im-someone-i-guess @shadowsinger07 @saltyfortunes @cressjacquine @julian-blackthorn-supremacy @champanheandluxxury @zemiraa @ladygabrielli1997 @nehemikkele

[tessathegamefreak]

Okay, so I am going to be frank with you,

it usually takes me a while to get a bit of things done. I haven't quite found the time to draw what I want to be able to post on this blog, so for now, let's do this.

My Comfort Characters (Part 1?):

King Candy/Turbo, from "Wreck-It Ralph"- I know he is the villain of his movie, but the truth is, he's relatable to me. Growing up, I sought attention, and I noticed my parents were impressed with how smart I was, so I wanted to use this to keep their eyes on me. I'd get a bit competitive with other kids in my class and try to exceed them to make my parents proud. When I first saw King Candy/Turbo on screen, I felt that he was an enjoyable character. When his reveal came, I realized that he was a part of my darker side, but I didn't feel bad for it. His laughs never ceased to not bring a smile to my face, and I honestly felt saddened when he was led to his death. I don't like that he chose to step on others for his own gain, but I can't help but to feel that maybe the real attention he needed from the start was a hug- in my opinion, the main reason attention seekers can spiral downwards is because attention is merely a placebo for what kindness they don't have in their life . Do I simp for him? Currently, admittedly, yes. Will that go away? Most likely as I grow up. Will I still see him as a part of me even after? Without a doubt.

Sourbill, also from "Wreck-It Ralph"- Alright, so throughout the majority of my elementary years and the early start of my middle school year, I had resting b*tch face. As a baby, I wouldn't really smile for my baby photos, I vaguely remember crying at my Beauty and the Beast themed birthday as an infant, and when I later tried to smile, it was either never really there or I'd force it so much I looked like Joker. Sourbill is my comfort character because he in a way reminds me of how I started out. He reminds me of the start of my social life, as well as some of the sarcastic or uninvolved attitude I shared towards some people or things back then. While I can now actually smile, he still reminds me of a brooding me, and what I could have been had I not gone to a better school for me.

Yondu, from "Guardians of the Galaxy"- This man is a comfort character for me because... Well, he reminds me of my grandpa. Before you ask, no, my grandpa is still alive, but it still brings a bit of warmth into my heart when Yondu is on screen. Like my grandpa, he likes to whistle a lot, he has that humorous and somewhat sarcastic air to him, and he even does that strange thing where he talks incoherently when people try to talk to him just to annoy them (my grandma hates it! XD). Heck, my grandpa would make Mary Poppins jokes before the "I'm Mary Poppins, y'all!~" was a thing. Yondu even has that same rugged beard and uneven smile as my grandpa. Most of all, Yondu does have that loving and sympathetic side to him. Nearly crushed me after Volume 2 after.. ya know...

Francoeur, from "A Monster In Paris"- Okay, so this might not be a well known one, but Francoeur is, well... A flea that was made human-sized. As you could imagine, everyone was scared of him, seeing him as nothing more than the 'Monster in Paris'. In actuality though, this flea is a very kind-hearted and gentle being. With the help of Lucille, he found that behind his mask and hat, he could safely seclude himself and follow his passion- singing his heart out and playing the guitar. I was treated as an inhuman being by my classmates and even one of my teachers back in fifth grade, but I'd still find time within my own personal space to follow my passion of drawing and playing games. Even now, I find that I like to write. While I now have a place in my friends group, I still feel like a monster by certain peers, so I think of this angel of a flea.

That is all for now. I would have given more, but I type quite a bit. I didn't use Ralph or Vanellope yet incase I needed a part two. In truth, most WIR characters are my comfort, so I am limiting how many I use in one post. 'Til next time :)

[stanbillyhargrove]

Ghosts chp 20

Ally's Story

T/W: sexual assault, eating disorder

Ally's story is NOT nice, it's based off Cat's story from Demons but without the support system that Cat had

Katrina's POV

Ally was perched on the end of my bed, watching as I changed the bandages on my stomach. I taped sterile white gauze to my skin and eased myself back onto the bed with a groan.

"You've been hanging around a lot," I mumbled.

"Do you not want me here? I can leave."

"No! Wait, stay. Please, I like the company. I just mean, I hadn't seen you in a long time."

"When he's around we can't get close to you," she explained, "he keeps us away. But he's weak right now."

She sat back against the wall with a sigh, eyeing me after catching me staring at her, "what?"

"What's your story, Ally? What happened to you?"

She held her arms up so I could see the two long cuts that ran down her forearms, "isn't it obvious?"

"That's not your story, not all of it."

She dropped her arms into her lap, "you don't have to pretend to care. I'm already dead."

I stretched my hand across the bed, reaching for her, "I do care."

Her eyes were teary when she met my gaze, her jaw tight, but she still moved closer to take my hand.

--

"Mommy, Daddy's home," I announced.

She shook her head, "no, sweetie, he's not off work for a couple hours."

But then, a few minutes later, he walked through the door. Sent home early because of the blizzard sweeping through town. My mother brushed it off, saying I must have seen his car even though I was playing nowhere near the windows at the time.

That feeling, that sense of knowing, it never went away. As I got older, I realized it wasn't normal to know when someone was getting close. It wasn't normal to turn around and yell out your friends names when they were trying to sneak up on you. I started losing friends fast, nobody wanted to be associated with the outcast. The chubby cheeked weirdo that gave everyone the heebie jeebies.

I was twelve when the bullying shifted from my weirdness to my weight. The rest of my classmates had shed their baby fat and were lean where I still had a layer of pudge. That's when everything started to turn for the worst. Boys who knew I was crushing on them would sneer and laugh to their friends when I passed them. They'd pretend to like me outside of school just to turn around and shun me once in a group of classmates. Girls looked down on me, snickered when they saw me eating lunch.

Comments started coming from my family through the years too. Things like, 'haven't you eaten enough?' 'You know, everything you put on has to come off.' 'A moment on the lips, forever on the hips.' And, 'do you think you need seconds?'

My mom too, liked to tell me how little she weighed as a teenager. Joked about how her and her friends would compare thigh gaps like it was no big deal. She complained about how much she weighed now that she'd had me even though she still looked like she could be whisked away by a strong breeze. She thought she was helping by telling me maybe I'd have more friends, maybe boys would like me if I lost some weight.

At fifteen I found a website filled with pages and pages of wispy girls who's bones stuck through their skin. Girls who bragged that they had to wear children's clothes because nothing else fit, bragged about the amount of exercise they'd done that day. They shared tips and tricks to curb your hunger, told you if you followed all the rules you too could be beautiful, weightless, like them.

By sixteen, I was one of them. Comparing each days food and exercise with a group of people like me. I finally found my people, my sisters, the ethereal Wintergirls. I fed exclusively off people's compliments and they loved to tell me how much better I looked now. My mom praised my hard work, indulged my diet coke addiction. She was proud to have created a Wintergirl in her image.

Nobody in those groups liked to talk about the negatives. They didn't warn me that becoming one of them wouldn't be glamorous. That it meant constantly freezing, that your body starts growing more hair to keep you warm, that the hair on your head will get thin and lifeless, your nails turn blue and even a light brush will leave bruises on your skin. They didn't tell me that no matter what goals you hit, there would always be another. I wasn't prepared for my life to become consumed by numbers. How many sit ups, how many inches, tracking weight down in a notebook and sobbing if was more than last time. They didn't mention that I'd still hate myself no matter what.

I started swallowing handfuls of pills, secretly hoping that this time it would be enough to poison my liver. I want to go to sleep and not wake up, but I don't know that I want to die. I want to be normal, to eat and not hate myself, but that's not who I am anymore.

I kept waking up, forced to struggle through another day. Started drowning myself in alcohol every night and on the weekends, trying to find something to make me feel again. Some of the more popular girls started talking to me, asking for the secret on how to look as good as I do now, inviting me to parties hoping to get me to spill. I went to the parties but not to spill my secrets. I went for the free alcohol and eventually the drugs that the boys brought.

I had found my usual party group, the people who carried baggies of various things in their pockets. Accepted a baggie from a baby faced jock who smiled when he passed it to me.

"It'll be fun," he whispered in my ear, "trust me."

I looked at the pills for a moment before tossing them into my mouth and taking a swig of my drink to swallow them down.

"Good girl," he praised.

He didn't leave my side, didn't let me leave his sight. He was always there with an arm around me even though I didn't know him. Tempting me with tinted eyes.

This doesn't feel right.

I should have known better.

After a while, I started to feel weird. My limbs felt too heavy to move and I thought I was going to pass out. I leaned heavy into the boys side, not trusting my legs to keep me up anymore.

"It just hit you, didn't it?" He asked, holding me up.

My tongue felt too thick to move, to protest, when he picked me up. Threw me over his broad shoulder and took me back to his house.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of you," he soothed.

I struggled to cry out, to push his hands away but he was so much bigger than me, had layers of muscle where I had only bone. His hands were too rough when he grabbed, when he held my wrists in one hand and undressed me with the other.

I tried again to move my legs, to fight him, but nothing worked.

"Relax," he murmured, "I'll make you feel good."

The room faded in and out through eyes blurry with tears. I could feel him. Everywhere. Every inch of me consumed by his warmth. The moments where I could almost grasp clarity were filled with pain.

He wiped a tear from my cheek, his touch tender now when he whispered, "I know you're into it...God, you feel so good."

I didn't wake up again until sometime in the morning. The sun had barely kissed the sky, just enough that the room I was in wasn't pitch black anymore. Just enough light to see that the sheets I was wrapped in were blue, not white. Just enough light to know I didn't know where I was. It took me a moment to realize there was someone else in the bed with me, a large arm wrapped loose around my waist. Tanned skin tight around broad shoulders that I might have felt safe in before. I screwed my eyes shut tight, hoping this was a horrible nightmare. But, when I opened them I was still here. The dark bruises in the shape of his fingers still stuck on my skin, the pain was still there.

I slid out of the bed, biting the inside of my cheek and praying that I could get out of here without him waking up. Apparently the universe thought I deserved this small favor because I was able to find my stuff, get dressed and slip out of his house without anyone seeing me.

Outside, I pulled my phone from my pocket to figure out where I was. I was an hour's walk away from home. By the time I got home...I'd have to get ready for school right away. I sent out a quick text to my group for someone to bring me something strong to get me through the day and started my long walk of shame.

I did the best I could to hide all the bruises under my clothes before going to school. Long sleeves pulled down into my fists, dark leggings, I even layered on a shirt with the tallest neckline I could find. Hid the red circles around my eyes under dark makeup and called it good enough.

I disappeared into the crowd at school, slinking from shadow to shadow like I was hiding from a spotlight. Thankfully, someone answered my text and slipped a baggy into my pocket during a quick hug. I wasted no time swallowing the pills, didn't even question it. I just needed everything to stop.

I only got through my first class without seeing him.

I was at my locker when suddenly I was picked up and spun around. I was too shocked to do anything more than shriek. Hit the ground and spun around to find myself face to face with that same boy. The star of the football team, he was all broad shoulders and a soft, innocent face. He came from money and everybody loved him because of it. But, of course, they didn't know what really lied behind that sweet face.

"Hey babe," he cooed, "missed you this morning. You could have stayed, I would have driven you home."

The breath rushed from my lungs and I was reliving flashes of memories from the night before. Once again trying and failing to fight back. Hearing his voice in my ear.

"Hey, Bryce!" Another jock clapped him on the shoulder, "introduce us to your girlfriend!"

"I..your...what?" I stammered.

"Guys, Ally...Ally, guys," he beamed, pulling me into his side.

The group of them said their hellos, and then quickly disappeared to their own lockers. I shoved him as hard as I could, but I barely moved him an inch. He still had a smile on his face even though his eyebrows had knit with confusion.

"Your girlfriend?" I hissed.

"Well, yeah? I assumed, after last night, y'know?"

"You assumed!"

He lifted his hands defensively, "take it easy, don't need to shout."

I spun and stalked away from him, to a quieter, more secluded corner of the school to try and calm my nerves.

He followed me, practically purring, "trying to find somewhere private for us?"

I stopped, dumbfounded, giving him time to come up behind me and plant a kiss to my neck.

I recoiled, shoving Bryce away and shouting, "get off me!"

"What the fuck is your problem? You gave it up so easy last night and now you're gunna act like a prude?"

"I...I didn't give anything! You took! You drugged me, carried me home when I couldn't walk and had sex with me when I couldn't say no! You raped me!"

"Babe," he started, "come on-"

"No! Don't fucking call me babe, I don't even know you! I'm not your girlfriend! I'm your victim!"

He got in my face, close enough I could feel the heat from his skin, and growled, "fuck you. We could have been something, y'know? I could have given you everything. You asked for the drugs, remember? You're just a fucking whore, using men to get what you want and then dropping them. You wait, I will fucking destroy you."

By the afternoon, everybody had seen the pictures he took of me unconscious and were calling me a whore. Calling me a skeleton, ugly, a tease, a user. Nobody could believe I didn't want it. 'Look at him,' they'd say, 'he's gorgeous. How could you not want him?' Or, 'I'd give anything to have him even look at me and you're complaining?'

--

It only took a couple days before someone approached me outside of my class. Asked if I'd sleep with him if he gave me something.

"Are you serious? You think I'm a prostitute or something? Try being a gentleman and asking a girl on a date, you'd have a better chance."

His eyebrows raised, "you wanna go on a date with me?"

"Not now I don't, shitdick," I scoffed, pushing my way into class.

Later that day, people were saying I'd slept with him anyway.

--

This went on for months. People would approach me asking for sex and when I turned them down, they made up a story and spread it around.

There was one boy...I thought he was different. He said all he wanted was to take me on a date, for me to give him a chance. So I did. I let him take me out for a coffee since I didn't eat in front of anyone. We actually had a good time, he made me laugh for the first time in a long time. For a minute, I felt like maybe I could see a way out of the dark.

Then, our way out of the cafe, I thought I saw a glimpse of Bryce but when I looked again, I didn't see him.

He drove us away from the city, to a secluded area where it was just the two of us. We sat in the back of his car, talking for a while until he brought me close and kissed me. Fingers started to tug at clothing, pulling a noise of protest from my throat.

"I took you out," he murmured, "now be a good girl for me."

I let my mind go blank, let him take what he wanted. Saw Bryce in his place and let a few tears fall silently.

I realized that no matter how good I thought things could be, no matter what I do, Bryce would still be on top of me and I still wouldn't be able to breathe. He'd always be there, sneering that he'd destroy me.

--

Eating was hard. Breathing was hard. Living was the hardest.

I felt like I had started dying the night Bryce took me home. Like everything since then had to have been a fever dream caused by cells deteriorating. Last night had nailed that feeling home. That I was already dead, just stuck in hell.

I showed up at school to see a snickering crowd in front of my locker. 'Whore' was painted across the door along with 'Liar' and 'Dirty Slut'.

Standing at the front of the crowd with a wicked grin on his face was Bryce and the rest of the football team.

He invaded my space, my senses, the heat radiating from his skin threatening to burn me up. The heady cologne he wore, a toxic gas that stole oxygen from my lungs and replaced it with poison.

His voice, low and husky in my ear when he sneered, "nobody believes you. Nobody cares about you. I bet nobody would even care if you were gone," he pulled away just enough to look into my eye, "I win."

I was holding back tears as I tried to retreat from the school, walking as fast as I could to escape the laughter when my arm was caught in someone's hand. I looked up at the girl who grabbed me and recognized her from some of my classes. We weren't really friends but we were close enough to know each other.

"You okay?"

I faked a smile, tried to ignore my voice cracking, "awesome...I'm awesome."

"Hey, screw those assholes, Ally."

I knew she was trying to help, that she thought her words would be enough to break through months of abuse hurled my way.

They weren't.

My shoulders slumped, "haven't you heard? I already did."

I slipped between her fingers and didn't look back.

--

"Whatever happened to chivalry?" Ally sighed, leaning against the wall next to me, "romance? I always wanted a relationship like in those cheesy old movies. You know, where the love interest makes some grand gesture to say they love you? That's what I dreamed of."

I wiped the tears from my face, "Ally.."

She smiled sadly at me, "I always thought I'd find the one when I became perfect. That if I could just be good enough...but that never happened, perfect never came."

@alias-b @charmed-asylum @champagnesugamama

[r-romanoff]

Photon Blasts & Spider Webs

Chapter: 1 Part 2

Peter Parker x Male Reader

Master list

Chapter Summary: Cliches are seeming kinda frequent come your second day, and Bucky honestly can't say Sh*t

September, 23, 2019

"So, any new friends?" Wanda asked driving the two of you home. Yes actually. A girl Named Betty and some of her friends I think, I'm not really sure I don't know if they like me yet. Oh and this one weird kid Peter although he's more of an acquaintance though. I'm still getting to know him, kinda strange seeming." I then begin to explain my whole day and how it unfolded. "Look at that I'm so proud of you!" She smiles and laughs in a joking way. "Just don't blast any kids in the face this time." The burnett begins to chuckle even more, earning an embarrassed response. "Hey I was seven! I'm still mad Natasha told you. May she rest in peace." " "Amen. So wanna stuff our faces with food until we pass out" "Do I!!!"

September, 24, 2019

"Ok um... where to put you" the chem lab teacher mutters to himself. Then comes a somewhat loud voice. "There's an empty seat next to Peter." A random student sitting herself seemed like he didn't want anyone else sharing his space. She had wavy brown hair and a light mocha skin color, and she was wearing mostly black. "Good idea, wait. Where is Parker?" The teacher answered back, looking around the class room I quickly scan to see if the Peter I meet was to be seen. If it was that Peter was at all, "I'm here sorry I'm late Mrs. Watterson." Yup it was that same weird Peter from physics, and the hallway. "Good Y/N will be your partner from now on." The teacher concluded, as Peter began to walk to his desk I decided to fallow behind when it happened. I tripped.

Better yet someone had tripped me with their foot. As I fell I feel myself accidentally knock over some of the tubes and substances from desks nearby. Trying to cling on to my dignity, while accidentally bringing down Peter Parker with me. Both unwillingly but instinctively clenching on to his sweater Turning him around hoping not to fall we hit the ground, me landing on top of him, him laying there to cushion my fall. Unfortunately not doing the same to all I had knocked over glass beakers and cylinders crashing to the ground. Substances mixing in the air as I finally landed on him. Both of us cover in what ever it was that fell. Still in shock from what had seemed like the longest fall of my life all I'm able to mutter out while still grasping onto the boy was; "uh i-I." The situation getting a whole lot worse with my classmates beginning to open their mouths. "Aw My Shoes!" One kid yelled; "My Jacket..." an other complained seeming just as shocked as I was.

Speaking of shocked as the chattering increased the whole class began to lose control at what happened. No longer delaying the inevitable I look up at Peter, his face painted with shock, disbelief, and cluelessness but I couldn't really blame him either. And then it happened again; "Hey look Parker's got a boyfriend!" Shit it got worse. My face flushed pink in embarrassment, I immediately let go of Peter leaving visible marks on his sweater from where I was holding on, on his are and chest. Attempting to stand up I begin to stumble on my own two feet trying to avoid stepping on Peter sparing us any moment embarrassment, I storm out of the classroom my shirt dripping in what ever the mixed liquids were. All I could hear now were the faded noises of the chemistry lab and the teacher calling after me.

It wasn't until about thirty seconds later that I now realise someone is following me. I instantaneously come to a halt and begin to hold onto my elbows, hugging them when I realise who it is. "I'm sorry." I pout looking down at my feet feeling tears begin to leak, water beginning to glisten trying to hide behind the brim of my eye my nose beginning to sniffle. "I just came to make sure you were ok, um... are you cry-never mind. You probably don't want to clean up we really don't know what any of this is." He kindly walks over. "I'm in shock that's all I- um yeah that sounds nice, but I don't have any other clothes." I try to explain still sniffling. "I have spare clothes in the locker room. We could head over there if you'd like. By the way don't listen to anything Flash says he's kind of a dick to everybody." He mentions the name of the jerk who probably made the off hand comment. The for some reason really got to me. Resting his hand on my shoulder, slowly lifting my head I wipe the tears from my eyes. "Lead the way please." I faintly smile trying to look on the bright side that I didn't go crazy and photon blast anyone who was talking.

Following Peter at an extremely close distance to the locker rooms I feel six. I feel helpless, like before I discovered my powers that I barely use. I feel like the clingy 6 year old that would cling onto Tony's or Natasha's jeans when I was scared. The six year old that wouldn't leave Fury's or Maria Hill's side whenever we went out, or were at some secret base. The same little boy that loved having conversations with Maria Rambo about mom. Now that I've been 17 since April I still feel kind of the same, always asking Wanda for advice about things while watching Netflix with Sam and Bucky. "We're almost there" Peter says snapping me out of thought only to bring them to him, he seems really nice. Although I still can't shake this feeling that when we first met it was kind of forced in a bad not so good way.

He's definitely sugar coating something right, or am I just being paranoid. No he definitely seemed like he was looking for me, like he already knew who I was. "And we have officially made it." Peter snaps me out of my thoughts, holding the red door open for me. "Thanks, so um... you get into these situations often" I ask while he opens his locker not wanting our whole time to be spent in silence. "Well these situations specifically no, flash being a dick yes." He answers passing me a shirt with a printed photograph of the Avengers from a while back. "So which one is flash exactly?" I don't recall seeing who made the comment. Examining the black shirt more closely I see; Thor when he still had his old hammer, Wanda, Vision, Clint, Tony, Natasha, Rhodey, & Sam. Wow if I put this on I'll never hear the end of it when I get home. "He was the one that tripped you, that's Taylor Swift right?" What? Giving him a confused look he points to my now ruined shirt. Running my hand through my h/c messy hair, I look realizing the shirt I'm wearing had the initials T.s. with seagulls on it. And a faded blue and pink sky background that was now stained. "Oh yes 1989" I smile, only faintly however now seeing that my shirt is most likely not gonna clean out. "You're gonna put that on? Right?" I look back up only to find Peter half shirtless finding out he's refereeing to your shirt. Blushing intensely at his um... you know, I quickly turn around taking off my shirt and put the one he gave me on as quickly as possible.

Taking one last deep breath before turning back around to see him what I think is intensely staring. As my blushing intensifies I accidentally let words slip. "Were you looking?" "What! Um no, were you um, looking" he fumbled a bit "no." I mumble a bit feeling a bit insecure. Not that I wasn't fit I mean I had a little bit of muscle but I'm not fit-fit if that makes sense. "Um thanks a lot, I really appreciate it" I look at his shirt with an the school logo on it than looking back up at his face. Smiling he responds, "It's ok really we should do that again. No I mean not getting into that situation sorry! I mean hang out, I mean we didn't talk much but what I'm saying is I'd like to get to know you! If that isn't weird." He panics mildly earning a small giggle from me. "It's not funny." He frowns a bit; "No I'm sorry I'd like to hang out to, your cool. Exchange numbers?" I ask pulling out my cell phone. "Yes!" He does the same us giving and receiving each other's phone numbers. "We should probably head back to class to." He reminded me that the last thing I want is call home considering my current guardians.

As the rest of the day goes on I finally make it to lunch. Navigating the hallways again Betty finds me looking extremely concerned. "Y/N, thank goodness I found you are you ok. I heard what happened and the rumors being spread are awful." My heart immediately sank, rumors. Ok this is exactly like some shity coming of age high school movie now and I hate it. Rumors, what rumors? "I don't- what? Tell me what is going on" is all I'm able to say before pulling her into an empty hallway for an explanation. "People are going around saying that you're gay. I know it may not be a big deal and all but some people are taking it seriously, and I don't know what to tell people who ask about it." The blonde quickly whispers, my face becomes shocked and confused at the same time. "Well?" Betty almost asks waiting for a response. "It's half true, I'm bi. I think, I'm pretty sure." I whisper in a barely audible tone not wanting her to judge me as I rush into trusting a girl I've known for a day. "You know what, if you don't want anyone to know it'll probably blow over hopefully." She says smiling awkwardly "I'll help you get through this just don't worry we'll just hang out and ride out the storm ok. You still up for the mall tomorrow?" She grabs my hand trying to make sure I was calm. My facial expression having not changed since she told me the news. "Yeah I'm up I guess, let's just not comment on the rumors ok. I could care less currently I just wanna let things play out naturally, ok? It's just I don't want to be defined by my sexuality for now that's all. You're right anyway let's just relax and hang out after all it's currently not a big deal unless we make it one. And thanks a lot Betty." I lean in for a hug the blonde opening up her arms for an embrace. "No problem." She squeezed a bit tighter.

LATER THAT DAY

"Listen kid I understand I'm great and all, but you don't have to wear that shirt around if all you wanted was an autograph." Sam said with a cocky smirk as he sat down on the couch along with Bucky, and Wanda earning chuckles from you three. "Be careful Sam, if your head fills up with anymore air you might leave the atmosphere" Bucky begins to laugh with Wanda and I. "Or he could do us a favor and pop" I begin to laugh harder despite the fact that we were watching Bird Box. After a while of comebacks from Sam and Wanda we all eventually calm down. Watching Sandra Bullock and the kids making it down the rapids without Tom when all of a sudden. "Wait What!?!?" Wanda seems to have realized something as Bucky seemed to have pointed something out. Barns seems to be about to spit it out as well with a squinty smirk on his face; "Hey kid." I look at him and the others confused not knowing what to expect. "Who's shirt is that?" What, what does that oh... I can feel my ears heat up as Wanda and Sam's smirks grow. Bucky's eyes squint a bit more as his face looks like it's jokingly saying 'You little bastard.' Implying that he's thinking something dirty and at this point I really regret not showing and changing as soon as I got home because honestly I'm fucked.

Previous Chapter/

An: So I feel like my story is better a bit rushed if so please tell me. This also wasn't revised I forgot so feel free to correct any errors. Don't feel so good about it. May not be my best work.

Also the first paragraph of the chapter was ment to be the ending of the last chapter

Please give opinion I would love you here your thoughts on the second chapter also I think the reader in this is gonna be bi as in most stories the reader is usually full on gay regardless it doesn't matter because it is an x Peter Parker fic so yeah

Ps there may or may not be foreshadowing about something that's going to happening in the future of somebody's relationship

Tag List (ask to be put on)

@klanceiscannon14 @wiitchy-wooo @multifandom-slytherin @jonnyjay2413 @lazerman217 @stuffdealwithit @sorceressandy @sunshadetrees @filthydeatheaters

[mitsua]

Requested by: @princeasimdiya12

Warnings: bad grammar and spelling mistakes, swearing, mentions of bullying, overthinking

Genre: starts angst, ends fluff Series: Boku No Hero Academia

Words' count: 1.62k

𖣘 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒊 𝒐𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆... 𖣘

☹︎

For the bully I once were,

Here I am now, being... ironically scolded by my friends. This didn't go as planned, they should have never known it this soon.

But here I am, infront of me, Mina, her spitting out each bad thing I did at my middle school years, spitting out how badly I did treating Deku. Kirishima and Sero looking at me in disbelief, while trying to process all Mina's commentaries about this.

_Did he felt that bad to talk about it with someone else or how did Mina knew?

____He seemed to be fine with it, wasn't him?

__Did he do this in revenge?

Whatever, I can't act like I didn't do any of it, but I can't also act as if I care that much when I don't. Past is past, why would they be reminding such a bullshit of memory when it's been a long time since it?

"Do I regret what I did? Well, that it's not an easy decision, and why would I talk about it with you?, just cut talking out this shit!" I said in annoyance, Mina's voice getting louder by each second at my hearing, while more and more classmates were coming in the common room where we were at.

"So not only you got the pants to bully Deku-kun when he did nothing wrong to you but also the courage to speak even more shit? You're just hurting more people with this, stop it!" Mina shouted, as to my eyes I could see some horror and confusion written all over her face and somehow this is just bothering me even more!

I know, I'm and I was conscious about what I did. So why does she need to repeat it?! "JUST SHUT IT!"

I shouted out my lungs, being as harsh as I've never been with anyone. I said it was pissing me off, I was conscious! I knew everything I did! I knew why! But never get rid of that bad habit of mine, keep on doing something until I can't anymore.

"B-Bakugo, just for you to know, I'm not saying this just because I want to remind you! It was wrong and I guess you know it as well, the only thing I'm asking for it's an explanation!" Mina continued, extending her arms around her.

"An explanation that you'll never get to hear, now let me alone!". With that, I did what I should have done even before the discussion, go to my room. I knew from the first moment Mina saw me this afternoon something was going on with her. But never thought it'll be this serious.

Walking at my pace to my dorm, I heard some footsteps behind me, I don't really care for now so I just let it be. I'd enter to my room, lock it, and relax by myself.

"Kacchan wait!"

___Or maybe not.

"The fuck you want? Deku".

"I just-I heard what Mina was talking to you, and I needed to know how you were..."

I finally stopped walking and turned to look at him.

"And how the fuck do you think I am?". "I-I-don't really know, I-I'm sorry about it! I talked about it with Mina because she kept asking me why did I treat you like I do, so I told her about we were childhood friends and she just kept asking and asking and ended up telling her about the bad experiences too..."

"And why are you sorry? I knew they'd know it sooner or later, better later than sooner of course, but, I knew it".

"Kacchan..." "I just need some space, leave me alone".

I returned my way, and I heard nothing else, Deku just stood there then.

How do I feel? Tch such a stupid question. I feel so fucking great! I've been doing my best at trainings, sleeping and meals schedule can't be better, good grades, but... now I think about it, I haven't worked at my feelings.

Why did I bullied Deku? I can't say it was because I had problems at home, certainly not, but just seeing him being the best but do not have the posibility to do what he would have liked to, be a hero. It was shocking, my 'best friend' never giving up, smiling and helping everyone...

That idiot doesn´t know how special he really is.

So I suppressed my feelings of weakness and teased him. I really was scared of him huh?...

´´Knock knock´´ I heard, turning to look at the door, sitting up straight on my bed not before someone spoke; "Bakugo...it's me, Mina".

"Leave me alone". "You have no choice, I won't leave until we talk, properly, I swear there's no one else with me, and right now I'm so sorry for screaming down there, I should have done it peacefully and in a more private place".

Perfect! I wanna be alone but have no other choice, "hell I have another choice!", "Ignoring me won't take the problem away!" she said back. "Of course it will, now leave!"

"Bakugo I'm really sorry, please" "NO! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

I can't think clear right now, so if I speak with her I'm afraid I'll explode even worse than before.

I heard a few more voices before recognizing that green-haired nerd's one.

"Kacchan, may I come in?"

For the bully I once were,

I want you to know, that if I could go back in time, I would have done it now.

I just saw Izuku didn't and don't deserves any of this shitty treatments I gave and give him, but I'm scared that if I change that now, he won't like to be with me anymore, that he won't admire me as he said he did years ago. I have to accept this as my new personality, there's no way back. Not anymore.

"Fine". He entered.

"I-I wanted to start saying sorry again, what I talked about with Mina should have kept in my mind only..." "Sure as hell it should have, but, I'm kinda relieved this is finally known by them" I said, relaxing a bit. And, it was true, I was scared how would they react to those news, how they'd treat me from now on, but as I saw-well, heard, Mina, she was trying to help me... it means something good, doesn't it?

"You were overthinking how they'd react, right?" "how-" "Kacchan, I know you, I know how does it looks like when a person's overthinking or feeling stressed about somethimg, and I could see and sense that on you all the time, but now you seem trully relaxed, just as I've never seen you to be like".

So he doesn't just analyse my moves, but also my general behaviour? I have no words for that.

"And what? I see you doing that all the time too, but how do you manage to keep it on the low? I know you too, but sometimes it's really hard to tell when you're okay or when you aren't".

Now he was the surprised one, still standing infront of me, looking at my eyes, surely trying to process how I just said I've been also watching his behaviour, but more stealthily...

"I-you-I thought-" "You thought I didn't care about you? that you were really just an obstacle and a bother to me? well, surprise! you are, but also something else, and I don't really know how to call it, and I don't really know if this is the best time to say it but, to be fully relieved I think I need to..."

He looked to the floor and then again to me, willing for an answer, and I stood up, walked infront of him and kept looking into his eyes.

"Izuku-"

For the bully I once were

I want you to know, everything we did in the past, to Izuku, was worth nothing, today I'm apologizing to him like it or not, and I'm sure this is something I'd never regret or expected my self to do, but

here I am,

"I'm sorry for everything I did to you".

There was a pause, an agonizing silence, was he expecting more? did I ruined it? fuck, why do I even care about how brash my voice sounded like?

He watched and observed, maybe searching for any hint for it to be a joke, and while doing it, here I am, silently panicking about how he'd react; was it too late? if that was the case then he surely-

he hugged me.

For the bully I once were,

I want you to know, I'm finally feeling ok with my self, I don't feel any guilt, not anymore, no more pain, no more stupid shit in my chest, instead I feel as if I returned to when I was a kid, when I first met Izuku, the warmth I missed since the first time I bullied him, and I'm so... happy, yeah, happy is the right word, I'm happy about it.

So I hugged back.

And I felt how he tensed up for a moment before he broke in tears.

Watching and feeling this weird and so missed sensation made me feel weak too, I wanted to cry too, and I failed miserably trying to stop my tears from falling.

"K-a-Kacchan, than-thank you".

"No, thanks to you, Izuku".

Now, for the last time, this is for the bully I once were,

I need you to remember how it felt when being a kid, the kindness that our parents radiated, how Izuku cared for us. I know I can't change anything, but, please just-just remember it, so you can live as you should have done it all the time.

🪼 : I'm asking myself... how did this ended up being so...sappy wtf-and I'm cryinggg 😭

Hope you liked how it ended, and if you recognized any phrase from the manga when Bakugo was explaining why did he bully Izuku ; come here and let me marry youuu !

I trully think this is how Bakugo would have said sorry to Izuku, well, in a peaceful way...

Anyways, hoped you enjoyed once again, and thank you for reading, my precious stories !

[woozi]

yes, english :3. it's funny my country is literally known for its diversity & endless languages (and it flexes about it too lmao) but in reality does nothing to help in/encourage learning other languages. hindi & eng are the only languages schools teach & 3rd one depends on what state you live in. minority languages are not even in options.

ahhh learning that people out there are trying to preserve their languages and culture <3 it feels good to know, i hope they keep doing it that's really great!

hehe that's good no? :3 trying out new stuff even if only for some time also has its charm <3 and oh godddd those are great picks! 24h & fallin flower will never fail to amaze me <3 callx3 & hit, so trueee i agree! i personally like 'oh my' too! along w/ these. since it clearly speaks for the song's lyrics. like wonu controlling the human cube in start & the thinking poses during chorus. it all vibes so well with the song's concept. i really like when choreo clearly speaks the song to the audience.

yesss ofc! i plan to complete vincenzo before year ends dhjdjdkd. NO WAYYY! PLEASE COME TO HOMECHA UNIVERSE <3 you'll love it here!! dimple couple are very wholesome so are others 🥺.

yes those are the playlists made by spotify! usually i don't like playlists' made by the app for other songs but with kpop especially for indie and rnb songs, i do sometimes check it.

cringe domestic boy made ME a cringe fan today, yza 😭 feeling so deranged rn </3. so many pictures by mr joshu??? are we living in right universe? (maybe i should b*lly him more? this is a sign) ALSO omg i've never heard abt joshua and woozi covering a 1d song fhdjjrkrkedn good for them djjdkddk.

HFJDDKSK 'forgotten love' <//3 next project. but yeah that's true, there is literally so much happening i feel like if i were to pay attention to everything i'd be overwhelmed.

the way you asked abt cb and they dropped the poster dhdjjdkd, i was going to say i actually don't have any particular thing in mind but i'd really like something like fear or good to me or getting closer. something stronger, also yes i agree w you we need some cock music <3 ( ik the insta pictures are behind pictures from their merch shoot but all these soft nature pictures on insta while their other social media accounts have dark layout is so funny to me 😭😭😭 pls don't shatter my strong fiery cb expectations svt)

i'm so surprised that they dropped the poster one month before cb, even more surprised with the scheduler too omggg 😭😭 i've become so used to 2 - 1.5 week before, cb announcements now lmao.

something abt this cb feels so different <3 ( also hoping for studio choom & dance relay this time </3 i miss it 🥺)

that's good to know <3 hope this good energy with uni persists for you <3. also saw that you'll get time during cb release that's so good <3 hope you get to enjoy it to the fullest. i'm doing great! it's raining too much here (it shouldn't rn 💀) so that's lil meh but overall i'm good, thank you for asking <3. omg pls 💗🥺 sending you a hug back!

hjdkdsk i was trying different font to make ask look lil smaller hddjdjkd but yes i do copy- paste bcoz i type in notes first :3 (in case tumblr decides its hungry which has not happened yet hdjdjd) - 🪂

ohh now i get it </3 it's still mostly like that here too, and a lot of native languages of ours are dying as well. it's one of the things i'm so sad abt :/ that's why i was v surprised when they somehow started incorporating more into secondary education!!

LOOOVE THAT PERSPECTIVE SM 😭 im just out here feeling like a jack of all trades, master of none lmao HFHJFDH ALSO YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! svt's peak summer concept (... or is it the only hdshjds) tbh <3 i love the choreo on the 2nd half of the chorus sm <3 also v great point!! a lot of creative directors focus on that and the way u presented this just piqued my interest bc... wow their methods Work Well HJDHJDSH

i haven't watched kdramas in a while (mostly bc they're so long fjfhdj) until i came across vincenzo and im so glad i did <3 JHDSHJDSJ SORRY I KEEP TALKING ABT IT ENDLESSLY!! BUT ALSO OMG a lot of my classmates have also been talking abt hometown chax3 and i keep putting it in my list but i saw that it's not finished yet?? is it not?? am i crazy??? from what i've seen on netflix new eps come weekly??? and if i become obsessed and the new ep takes a WHOLE ASS WEEK to come out... what then... but IM SOOO PUMPED FOR IT the previews i have been seeing look so cute </3

ALSO OMG ME TOO!!! i was actually v v surprised when i checked out one of the daily mixes and none of the songs in them were flops HJDHJ

HONESTLY,,, I GET IT,,,,,,, JOSHUA'S BEEN TAKING UP SPACE IN MY CRAMMED BRAIN TOO LIKE,,,, SIR,,,, NOT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD,,??? ALSO,,,,, JOSH FROM THE TEASER,,, OH MY GO,D,,, I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED BAD BOY JOSH IN MY LIFE????????? LIIKE??????????????? I NEVER EVEN IMAGINED IT WAS POSSIBLE????????????????????????? THAT I WOULD BE SEEING T H A T IN MY LIFETIME????????????/ CHURCH BOY JOSH,,, LOOKING LIKE THIS????????????????????????? HELP MEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

and yes omg there were 2 performances of it iirc HFHJFDHJ here's the first one and another one 😭 also i can't find the josh x jihoon vid (i forgot the song title hfdhf) so here's predebut josh w sunday morning instead hfjhfd HJDSJHSD

and that's v v good that you're doing it at your own pace <3 love that <3 i feel like im working some kind of job keeping up w it all ngl 😭

AND HELL YEAH OH MY GODDD WE MIGHT ACTUALLY BE GETTING A MIX OF ALL THOSE BASED ON THE CONCEPT TRAILER??? WE'RE NOT ONLY GETTING COCK MUSIC, LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GETTING ROCK AS WELL 😭 ALSO UR SO RIGHT HFDHJDFJHFD there's literally no in between when u go to their official ig page they're like,,,,, here's some cute dicon teasers <3 oh and hoshi + mg being whores,,, AND THEN SOME COTTAGECORE BOYS!! <3 and now some fucking cock teasers <3 WHAT IS GOING ON 😭😭😭 everyday i wake up to new shit and although it is Some Work keeping up w them i love it sm it keeps me from going insane w real life fhjdfhj also i know we already talked abt this previously but w all the things coming out rn.... i ask... once again... How... do they have 276 hours in a day wtf 😭

ALSO YES WITH MY WHOLE FUCKING CHEST????????????????????????????????????? i was so surprised when it dropped 😭 i wasnt expecting anything so i turned off all my notifs that day so i could focus on studying and alas.... i was 40 mins late to the announcement oh my god

WHY ARE UR TAKES SO GOOD <3 UR SO VALID AND UR SO RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just know,,, that the studio choom vid will take me out,, i KNOW IT,,, they really seem to be hyping up this cb it really does feel v diff and v Big to me <3 by the looks of it they really should tho it looks like a fucking banger!!

AND NAURR THE WAY U EVEN SAW THAT </3 i have the power of god and anime on my side this semester ig HJFHJFDHJFD i was honestly super worried (i kinda need to touch grass rn lol) that i would be late to the cb since my classes end at 7 pm and the boys usually release by 6 HJDHJSD but it seems like they're targeting another market now so i'm also relieved and excited for them!! and thank u omg, WE will enjoy it together!! <3 the global warming really is so- also do u not like rainy days or 👀 on the other hand it's SOOO fucking hot here when it should be raining so????????????? god what is HAPPENING.

also that is v smart of u <3 i've had WAYY too many asks get eaten.. you stay safe out there 😭😭😭

AGAIN!! LOVE U THANK U FOR HANGING OUT W MEEEE <3 IM SO EXCITED TO SPEND THIS CB W U!!

[thesoujishow]

S01E01 - Ken Sarukenka

[vaporwave lo-fi song]

Souji: Testing? Hello?

Ken: Yo? Sounds like it's working to me!

Souji: Ok. There we go.

[INTRO - glitchy transition music]

Souji: Hello, and welcome to the Souji Show. I'm Souji and this is a show where I talk about anything I want. 'Cause this is my show, and not yours.

Souji: This episode is sponsored by the peanut butter in Reese’s cups. They have the taste and the texture of a vitamin-enriched paste you squeeze from a tube directly into your mouth when you’ve been living in a bunker for 30 years because aliens invaded and it’s your birthday treat. Thank you Reese’s!

[MAIN - glitchy transition music]

Souji: For this very special, first-ever episode, we have a very special guest. You may know him as The Howler, or the other Ken, but to me, he's my monkey boy. Everyone, give it up for Ken Sarukenka!

Ken: Indeed, none other than the fantastical Ken Sarukenka.

Souji: Now Ken, tell everyone about yourself. Where are you from? What motivated you to go to Kyoranki? All that jazz.

Ken: I was born and raised in Kyoto and moved to Osaka around the start of middle school and been here ever since, my parents are Ippei and Meiko Sarukenka, better known as Great Ape and Statue, I am also a two time winner of middle school nationals in gymnastics, I was motivated to become a hero because all my life people around me have been heroes, my parents used to be, my brother is one and I choose this school because my brother graduated from here and it's reputation!

Souji: So, both your parents and brother are heroes. Was the decision to enrol at Kyoranki one you made on your own? Or was there added pressure from your family? How did they react when you got the acceptance letter?

Ken: Well, both my parents retired shortly I came into the world, I wouldn't say any of them pressured me but being overshadowed isn't very nice, yakno? I think it was mostly expected in a way, mostly because of my family really.

Souji: Speaking of being overshadowed, do you feel that you have the need to surpass your family in a way?

Ken: Yes, I feel that I have to surpass every single one of, my parents, my brothers I can't be remembered as the second or third best in my family, yakno? [dead serious tone]

Souji: O-ok. What was it like growing up with famous parents? Did people recognise you at all?

Ken: Well, growing up with famous people isn't anything special to me I get recognised every now and then, I met a bunch of other celebrities, I met a bunch of old guard heroes and a few newer once through my brother but it's not anything extreme I'd say. I'm more likely to get recognised now probably after I ended up on the news!

Souji: Speaking of being in the news, the Osaka Rising Star featured your fight at the provisional licence exams. Now I've heard from a little birdie that you didn't have the best time at the exams. Can you tell the listeners more about that? And what are your plans going forward?

Ken: Well... uh what can I say, I'll do the remedial courses and show the speaker that he was wrong to fail me right from the get go so he can go to sleep every night thinking that he almost stopped this world seeing the shining star of tomorrow! As for plans, train, complete remedial course and push forward the keys to everything in life.

Souji: Care to share on how you're planning to do that? What sets your apart from the rest of the Sarukenka heroes?

Ken: It's hard to say, are a bit different but if anything I'd say what sets me apart is the fact that I am none other than I and that I won't stop before I stand out even among them!

Souji: That's a very Ken answer. I respect that. [chuckle]

Ken: There is no other answers than the Ken answer, Souji. [little laugh]

Souji: Speaking of a shining star, let's shine the spotlight back towards the main focus of his podcast - me! Now, Ken, it's your turn to ask me questions. C'mon, don't be shy, ask anything you'd like.

[ASK SOUJI - glitchy transition music]

Ken: Well, I guess I'll throw the ball right back at you, why do you want to be a hero? Is it only because of Starlight or is there something more and how do you intend to stand out in this world filled with people like yours truly!

Souji: To catch the listeners up, I'm a big fan of Starlight. I guess I never considered a career in being a hero until I saw that special documentary episode of Speak with Starlight, what captivated me was his fans, there were a lot of them, each and everyone admired him and his heroic deeds and seeing the praise and attention that his fans are giving him, it sure was tempting. [laugh]

Ken: Inspiration is good, it helps you realise things doesn't it? Not everyone grows up in a family like mine where you are exposed to things the same way I was and I can surely see how it was tempting, I have been tempted by the shining lights that I have been surrounded with myself.

Souji: Inspiration can come from unexpected places, it's true that little things inspire us.

Ken: Indeed, I once felt inspired by watching a squirrel climb a tree! They always look like they are so free and have so much fun, so why shouldn't I do the same?

Souji: I'm great at climbing trees, we should really climb some one day.

Ken: I'd be down!

Souji: In all honesty, it was the fame and money that made me want to become a hero. It's a bit narcissistic, I know, but it is what it is. But during my time here, I saw what happened to the people around us. I want to be a helping hand in making a difference in people’s lives. Plain and simple. My family's poor so the money's still my number one motivator but it makes me happy knowing that I'll make the city a little bit better for everyone living in it.

Ken: I ain't gonna fault anyone's reasoning, being a hero is a profession after all just like being a policeman, fireman, doctor and so on, the only difference is the spotlight and the persona. Hopefully, you can throw your family a bone once you hit it off, eh?

Souji: Of course, I want to give back as much as I can. They might not be around as much, but I know they still want the best of me. Also, I want to travel. I've been stuck in Osaka for most of my life, and I love the city, don't get me wrong, but I just want to see what's out there.

Ken: Travelling is nice, but home is where the heart is wouldn't you agree?

Souji: Yeah, I wouldn't trade Osaka for anything. [pensive pause] Well, that got sentimental. Let's move on to our audience questions! These were submitted by our classmates in our group chat. Ready? Ok.

[Qs from the GC - glitchy transition music]

Souji: Fumi wants to know do you like bananas?

Ken: I like bananas in things but not really a huge fan if they are on, it's alright.

Souji: Kotoe wants to know your favourite genre of music.

Ken: My favourite genre of music is pop or rap, if it has a nice beat or a dramatic feeling I am usually down.

Souji: Kichiro asks, can you talk to monkeys?

Ken: No, I cant talk to monkeys believe it or not.

Souji: Taka inquires, does Ken-san take inspiration from Sun Wukong? That's some Chinese stuff, right?

Ken: Yeah my costume is mostly inspired by him, so his name hero name which means that one day soon I will be the Great Sage who rivals the Heavens!

Souji: Great Sage who Rivals the Heavens. [chuckles] Wow, that's quite the mouthful. We might have to workshop that Ken.

Ken: Yeah... A bit too long probably. [snicker]

Souji: I don't have any suggestions on the top of my head, but please don't pick a weird hero name like Monkey Boy, or worse - Monkey King! Plus, to be a sage, wouldn't you actually have to be, you know, wise?

Ken: In what world is that worse? I think you're going crazy over here and who says you need to be wise to be a sage? Not that it matters I am clearly the wisest person here!

Souji: Ken, that's literary its meaning, sage means wise. Well, it does sound very flashy, but maybe a bit too arrogant maybe? I mean, you can't even talk to monkeys, how can you call yourself the monkey king. You can still be Monkey Ken, though.

Ken: What do you think would be better then? I think Monkey King is a perfect fit if you ask me!

Souji: How about trying some alliteration?

Ken: Pfft, alliterations are overrated anyway.

Souji: I'm not sure if it's final but I was thinking my hero name to be the Neon Ninja. See, it's short, simple and easy to remember.

Ken: Neon Ninja? Sound like a flopped comic or video game, ain't ever gonna pack the punch you'd need it to!

Souji: Of course it sounds lame, that’s the point. You have to start from the ground up. Once people know your deeds as a hero, that’s where it becomes cool. Do you think Starlight’s name was cool when he just started out? No, man. Who name’s themselves Starlight? But, it became cool. I’ll make the Neon Ninja cool.

Ken: Starlight packs more punch than Neon Ninja though! His is like cool and mysterious, yours just sound like a old school retro game people forgot about, why'd you ever wan to sound lame?! Whatever you say, if you prove me wrong I'll eat my words but if you can't I'll be there laughing!

Souji: How about this. Why would anyone want to name a technology company Apple? It's not cool, or futuristic, it's lame. But with time, people liked their product and the name got cooler. See? It might seem lame now, but just give it some time. Like grapes and wine.

Ken: I don't know, maybe something about the apple of knowledge and all that jazz? Didn't really play attention in religion class, so I ain't too sure but either way I think something more high impact is better!

Souji: Let's just agree to disagree, monkey boy. Finally, Haruto wants to know if do you know da wae?

Ken: I know my way, perhaps its the right way for others as well just follow along for the ride and see!

[ENDING - glitchy transition music]

Souji: Well, we're nearing the end of our the show, Ken, is there anything you'd like to remind our audience, maybe plug whenever they can find you online?

Ken: Hmm, well I do guess I could plug some things I am on [X-Social Media platforms] with [X-User names] feel free to follow me!

Souji: You've been pretty cool to talk to, so before you leave, I have a special surprise just for you. I've embroidered it myself, and the shirt is from a downtown thrift store.

Ken: Ooooh. You really didn't need to do that, but I love it, it's adorable!

Souji: Thank you for being my first guest, Ken. It means a lot.

Ken: I don't know what else you'd expect, it's always cool talking to me isn't it?

Souji: To keep with the show follow me @thesoujishow, and to support my small clothing business, follow @glitchgear on all social media platforms. Once again, this has been Ken Sarukenka and Souji Yoshihiro, and you’ve been listening to the Souji Show! A show where I talk about anything I want. 'Cause this is my show, and not yours. Until next time. Insert catchphrase here.

[vaporwave lo-fi song]

[riv-ika]

Hey there, it's confused anon again. I've been thinking about the whole bi thing and I think what's holding me back and making me still question it is my parents. I know how they are with this kind of thing, and while I'm not the biggest fan of my mom and brother I'd still hate the possibility of not talking to any of my family if I was to end up with a girl. Obviously I don't have to come out to them, but if I started dating a girl it might be hard not to. I just don't know what to do

hello again, anon!! coming out is...a fun subject. don’t ever, ever feel pressured to come out. sometimes it’s just plain safer to stay in the closet or you might just want to be there regardless of safety. coming out is never a requirement and don’t let anybody tell u otherwise. and remember: being in the closet doesn’t mean you can’t be proud. and it certainly isn’t shameful.

as for coming to terms with sexuality when you’re living with people who don’t support it: it is tough. i’ve known i was bi for not even a year now and i still question things every once in a while, though, admittedly, it’s a little easier now that i’m out. (but my family’s different, don’t take them as an example) what if i’m faking it for attention? what if i’m just appreciating physical beauty? my philosophy has been that the first thoughts you have about anything are the thoughts that have been instilled in you by the world around you and the next ones are the ones that are really your own. that’s really helped me in figuring out the mess that is me. you have to drown out the other people in your house and listen to yourself instead.

if you do end up in a situation where hiding your sexuality becomes difficult, i have a few tips, which i’m going to use at my family reunion next week.

- avoid politics like the plague. even supporting or defending something remotely related to the lgbt community can make people suspicious, so honestly sometimes it’s just better to avoid current events entirely. if a situation does come up where you have to talk about politics, be as neutral as possible.

- gender neutral terms are your friend. saying ‘this classmate/this coworker/this person i’m into’ is easier than switching pronouns sometimes. it’s harder to keep calling the girl you like by ‘he’ than it is to just say ‘they’ or even their title/job/whatever. (that’s a bit confusing, i hope it makes sense)

- keep your social life private. i don’t know how open about your friends you are to your family, but the less details they know, the easier it is to keep dating that way, too. slowly working into a position where your family doesn’t know everything about your friends makes it easier to keep girlfriends out of their business, too.

- dont ever feel guilty about lying. in an uncomfortable position with politics at the table? pretend to support the thing they want you to. you know you don’t really believe it and so long as you remember that, it shouldn’t be a dent in your conscience. your parents ask if you’re dating someone? nope. or if you’re feeling especially guilty, just say you have a boyfriend. (unless they’re the ‘must meet the person ur dating’ kind of parents. just say no and spare yourself the fake boyfriend trope.) your safety is more important than telling the truth!!!!!

i hope this helped! im so glad to hear that you’ve started figuring things out. i know it seems like the distance to go is impossible, but just remember the many miles you’ve travelled already getting here. questioning your sexuality in the first place is one of the biggest steps.

my inbox is always open if u need more help, friend! <3 good luck and stay safe