#a bit of a tmi but the wind that comes out from the other end of this human shaped donut also smells kinda like durian now | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

nejiraez · 5 years ago

Note

Hii!! Sorry if this is super weird but I was wondering if u could do headcanons of maybe Bakugo, Todo and Kiri whose s/o is also their childhood best friend? If I can only request one tho I'd like Todo!! Anyway thanks so much pls have a great day!! 💕💕💕 (u rock!)

SORRY FOR HOW LONG BAKUGOU’S HCS ARE. the favouritism jumped out

Bakugou Katsuki

Whenever Bakugou’s S/O approaches him with the classic “Remember that time when you - ”, he doesn’t even let his S/O finish their sentence.

He’d immediately shut them down with a swift “Shut the fuck up”. Because he knows that his S/O was there to witness a majority of the embarrassing moments he experienced when he was a child.

Take it a step further by bringing up how odd he acted in that stage in your friendship when he had a HUGE crush on you and he would shut down right then and there.

Let him LIVE! He dies a little at the fact of being reminded that he chased you around the school playground in grade 4 all because he liked you or how you two almost kissed at the age of 14 when returning from a class trip on the bus.

Katsuki’s snapchat memories are filled with embarrassing videos and pictures of you both (but mainly you).

Including class photos, school trips, birthday parties, sleepovers, everything.

His grumpy scowl would be cancelled out due to how bright and heartwarming your smile was.

Or how there was a picture of a content (Y/N) who’s arms were squeezed around Katsuki who looked “peeved” on their first day of high school.

Every photo was precious and held a story to it, which is why he never dared to delete them. Everything would either be physical, backed up on his computer, or on his phone.

Katsuki would send them to you with a text saying ‘Look at how fucking stupid you were, lol’.

Your families are well acquainted with each other and get along very well.

Your parents absolutely adore Bakugou (your mother especially) and always greet him with open arms whenever he visits your house.

And his parents also vibe with you, always making it known that you are welcome to come over whenever you want and how appreciative/amazed they are at the fact of how long you both stuck together for.

It’s almost as if you’re their second child~

The relationship is full of trust, sarcasm, and great communication. Katsuki’s S/O is someone he feels like he could put his guard down around and truly be himself without worrying about his pride.

He is forever grateful that he has met you when he did.

BONUS (because why not~)

Just because you two are dating doesn’t mean he gets romantic with his texts. He would still text you in the sassy/teasing, sarcastic way he always did when you guys were (and still are) best friends.

EXHIBIT A & B:

Todoroki Shouto

Sometimes whenever you’d bring Shouto home, he’d be wind up in a long conversation with your mother. Talking about school or how he’s finding the hero course.

Todoroki has gotten close to your parents to the point where he could call them by their government names. And yes, he does not feel embarrassed calling them by their first name whatsoever.

You two have known each other since you were both in the same private school at the age of 6.

Which was why it wasn’t as big as a deal as it might have been when his family discovered that he began to date you near the end of middle school.

Rei loves you with her whole being and is delighted whenever you come and visit her at the hospital with Todoroki.

Natsuo considers you an additional younger sibling since you were his brother’s former playmate and current S/O. Fuyumi always presents you with pastries whenever she’s home.

And Endeavour? ... Well I mean he’s Endeavour. You assume you he doesn’t mind your presence since he hasn’t said shit... you think.

Believe it or not, Todoroki is the one in the relationship to remember the smallest of details that have transpired of the years of you two being friends AND while dating.

Like what you’re allergic to or that one specific order you always get at the eatery you both visit after school. He also remembers the people you dislike/steer clear of and pet peeves.

It’s quite endearing, to be honest!

Todoroki gets annoyed for whatever reason when people call him without a purpose. However, when it comes to his S/O if they were to call him because they want him to watch them do homework he will legit pick up on the first ring.

“Yes, my love, you called? What’s wrong?” He jumped onto the notion of pet names the two weeks after you two became official.

Shouto is your biggest fan and when he’s not posting about himself, he would be posting about you (on the spam page you persuaded him to make, of course).

So much so that some people would consider it spam and wonder if he has any other interests or hobbies. Trust me, he does... you just have to scroll down his page a bit a lot to see them!

If people aren’t aware that the two of you are dating, they will know either by his profile picture (a selca of you both) or how talkative/engaged he is whenever he’s around you.

Everyone knows of the deep history rooted between you both and they swoon because it was as if it were a relationship pulled out of a movie.

Kirishima Eijirou

Having Kirishima as a childhood best friend and a boyfriend is the definition of chaotic in its purest form.

He and his S/O probably have been friends since the early stages of middle school. Meaning that they’ve met in the budding years of the preteen stage - not even.

Kirishima saves all of the old photos of you two together and would be the type of boyfriend to post them all on your birthday.

He sometimes likes to flex on others at how close and strong your bound is.

It definitely boosts his ego a whole bunch.

Ever since Kirishima had asked you, it gave him the overused excuse to be more affectionate. Claiming his reasons for smothering you to death was because “that’s what boyfriends do, babe!”

You two have too many inside jokes and history together, which may be a reason as to why the relationship is so healthy and fruitful.

He would be the type to have a calendar set for how long you two were friends and one for the amount of time you two have been dating.

Kirishima is the king of duality when it comes to managing his roles as a boyfriend and friend.

One minute he’d be texting you ‘I love you!’ and the next is a snap of the upper half of his face (showing only his eyes and beautiful forehead) all while he throws a peace sign with the caption as: ‘sitting on the toilet’. For which you have to scold him on sharing TMI

That’s the type of relationship you guys have. Romantic isn’t it~

BONUS!!

Kirishima is the type to send you shit like:

#bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha imagine #bnha headcanons #bnha x reader #bakugou katsuki #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou x reader #todoroki shouto #todoroki shouto x reader #todoroki x reader #kirishima eijirou #kirishima eijirou x reader #kirishima x reader #BY THE WAY THE TEXTS ARE REAL #when your friend is impatient😍

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pffbts · 4 years ago

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I do not want to bother you, but you said you have no request for jin, which breaks my jin heart so hear you are (if you want to do it): Looking for a new appartment with him ❤️

―GENRE: fluff ; comfort; angst (if you squint)

―CHARACTERS: childhood friend!kim seokjin x female!reader | no supporting character.

―W.C: 3.2K

―AUTHOR`S NOTE: extremely sorry if this is too late but i absolutely loved this request. it feels domestic & i`ve a weakness for domestic jin plus his natural hair coloured mullet. i hope you like this, bub <3 love u & thank u for requesting such a lovely request <3

[02:28 PM] [warmth will come when you never expect it]

―you felt the coolness spreading through your right cheek and along with it the few cold icy water droplets falling one by one on your denim jacket. you opened your eyes slowly against the hot wind that was flowing through the open bus today. as you turn your head to your right, the cup of cool coke brushes against your face, the straw obscuring a bit of your sight, and the cold surface freezing up your lips.

you find your best friend, jin turning his head at the same time to look at you.

“you looked like you were in discomfort so i was trying to cool down your skin.” he said, looking a bit concerned as your eyes remained kind of droopy.

“why do you look so good even in this weather?” you asked listlessly.

“maybe because you put down my offer to sit at the window seat?” he said back, sounding so obvious.

meanwhile, jin has put down the cup of coke and pushed the cold drink into your hand. “drink it, it will help you a bit.”

“it`s too hot, i shouldn`t have worn this jacket.”

“you could`ve worn that cami you brought last weekend.” jin, tried describing the sleeves of the dress by putting both of his hand over his shoulders, “you know the one with the thin strings?”

“ah it wouldn`t be a proper dress to wear for apartment hunting, you know?”

“why? i`m sure you looked good in it.”

“that`s too much skin. plus the dress is of thin material. we`ll be meeting random people today and i don`t want anyone to give me looks. i already get enough because of your handsome face,” you took one glance at jin who was looking at your hands holding the cold plastic cup and eventually making it go warmer, a small smile climbing onto his mouth, “plus with that mullet, you look extra good. i swear i saw some girls going gaga over it while we were getting on the bus at the bus stop.”

jin put a stop to your rambling, understanding how the hot weather is getting on your skin. he took the drink from your grip and gently pushed the straw into your mouth. “this is getting warm, drink up.”

you mumbled back an incoherent speech which wasn`t clearly understandable to jin but it was none of his concern right now. he was already getting up from his seat to look out from the window to see if you guys are at your destination already or not.

you thought he was probably getting up because you were at the destination already and so you reached your right arm towards him and held the end of his flannel (tmi: it was deep blue with think green stripes as checkered print) while still holding the cup in one hand, the straw in your mouth all along.

jin looks back, shaking his head silently letting you know that he`s not getting up to leave but just to check if you guys are at the destination yet or not. he took his hand off of the metal rod for support and extended his arm behind and held your right-hand wrist―a small sign of reassurance and warmth, you understood.

in a few seconds, he dipped his head down to see that the shop the landlord said about is right on the other side of the street. thankfully there was a bus stop on this side of the street so the bus stopped & jin pulled you by arms to get up. you moved quickly and followed him down the bus.

the coke which is half-finished now is now being pushed towards jin, who looks down at you, confused.

“drink it too. i would feel bad if you don`t have a sip.”

“just a sip?”

“okay maybe a little bit more than that.” you gave in.

“okay but hold it for me a bit, we`ve to cross the street now,” he points at the shop on the opposite side of the street which the landlord talked about, “that`s where mr. lee will meet us, i think.” you nodded and wrapped your left arm around his right one while crossing the street.

the street was kind of busy today and maybe that`s why jin was kinda concerned with you even though he knows you`re accustomed to the city by now.

when you finally crossed the street and stood in front of the shop, you let go of his arm. jin, as decided beforehand, takes the coke from your hand and sips in some of the now lesser cold drink. you felt kinda bad because initially, he bought it for himself, he couldn`t drink it much.

“i`ll buy you one tomorrow when we go back from uni,” you told him. jin closed his eyes for a second and shook his head, pulling the straw out of his mouth, “it`s okay, eventually, you needed this more than me, so it`s absolutely okay.”

you could only smile at your best friend.

when the landlord eventually came, jin decided to interrogate on behalf of both of you. strangely the first question the landlord had for you guys was, “are you guys a couple? engaged?”

you both looked at each other perplexed because all your school days and now college days, you guys have always heard people saying the same thing. do you guys really look like you could pass as couples? even at the extent of an engaged couple?

during school days, your classmates would never approach jin even though he was technically the most sort after guy in the whole grade. for some weird reason, they thought jin would never look at any other girl than you―be it asking for a spare pen from the distance of five desks or being the first option for a group project. it has always been you and jin. even at college, though jin took acting major & you took physics as your major because both of you arrived and left college at the same time and with each other, even the campus people knew you both came in two in one package. one wouldn`t leave the campus without each other.

strangely, there hasn`t been any sort of romantic action in-between the two of you. both of you have been quite chill with each other. both of your mothers have been friends since your and jin`s elementary days so get together for dinners and lunch has always been quite common. though it has definitely crossed your mind how your friend started looking more than just a friend. it eventually started since he started growing out his hair to the current mullet state. his tall stature, his beautiful face, his way of knowing every bit of household works while your lazy self just never left your room during exam seasons.

but the thoughts remained like flickering thoughts just passing by for some seconds when you look at him some days. it has never crossed your mind that you can possibly be romantically linked up with him. at this point, even with all this hand-holding and taking care of each other, showing concerns when one of you is in discomfort. for you two, this has always been like a natural thing in your relationship―like how humans react in the world where only you and jin exist.

actually, it was kind of good that people thought of you both as a perfect pair because jin has always been the perfect man for any human out there, especially for someone as studyholic or as allergic to household work as you.

“do we really look like that, sir?” jin asked now facing him.

the man shrugged his shoulders in reflex, “i don’t know even from far away i thought you two are some couple. actually, you both don`t even look like a new couple―”

jin put his palm up in front of the landlord and laughed, “sir stop right there, we`re simply very close-knitted friends. we`ve been best friends since our elementary days, i guess the closeness of ours rubbed in a wrong way for you.” jin bowed a bit.

you bowed too as in reflex to which the landlord kind of laughed, “okay yeah i understand. now let`s get with our business, okay?”

you both nodded as usual in unison. seriously, it`s like at this point you both aren’t even doing this on purpose, it`s like a simple reflex. it`s like you two are one body, one heart, one brain―but divide that brain into two halves in which one side is filled physics derivations while the other how an actor should act varying emotions bit by bit.

the landlord stared at you two for another second, let out a nice big laugh this time and started walking before you with his back facing you two.

“what do you think of this one? it has two spacious rooms enough for two young people, plus a small kitchen at a good spot.”

“the kitchen does look quite small but thankfully it`s not located at an uncomfortable place.” jin remarked this because the other two previously painfully close to one of the room & he knew that would be a problem if you stay in that room because there was a high chance if you both have chosen that apartment, you would`ve taken that room close by the kitchen with the biggest window. apparently, your love for windows is quite big and that`s not unknown to jin, at least.

“yes, i like it quite much. let`s see the rooms once again, can we?” jin asked. the landlord nodded and took both of you in again. both of you scanned the rooms again, this time quite carefully. after all, you both are going to stay here for two years until both of you graduate.

“i like this one,” you nudged jin with your elbow on your left, “what do you think?”

“i like it too. which room do you like though? that room has a good window i think?” he looked at you asking the most concerning question, “i think the window in this room is smaller than that one. you should definitely take that one.”

“yeah that looks cool, i guess.” you agreed with him giving him a satisfying nod.

as soon as he saw that you`ve agreed on with him, he turned away from you to confirm with the landlord that you guys will be taking this one for two years. the landlord said you both have to go with him to his office to sign the lease.

both of you agreed to go with him. it was a short walk from the current apartment and when you two finally signed the lease, paid the needed deposit to him in check and all, it was decided that by next week you guys will move in. the landlord marked his calendar and said he`ll look into it.

bidding goodbyes, both of you stepped out of the office and started walking to the bus stop at which you got down previously.

“our campus will be a little bit far from here. probably going to take half-an-hour but the locality is good. there`s a supermarket right across the street, plus a bus stop, what do you think?” jin asked, casually putting his left arm on your shoulder, eventually pulling you against him a bit.

you realized that the streets are getting busier and so when jin closed the distance between you two, it was from the thought that you might get separated from him in the increasing crowed.

“i like it. the distance won`t be a problem. our school was one hour from our neighbourhood, remember?”

“right. i think we`ll settle well here.”

you hummed back in agreement.

“by the way! why do people still think we look like a couple? even strangers we meet say the same thing?”

“i don`t know, maybe because we do look like one?”

“you should definitely get a girlfriend. people will start assuming weird things when we start living together.”

you felt jin stiffen a bit at the mention of getting a girlfriend. it`s been kind of an off-topic for you two but these days you`ve been dropping this topic left and right on him.

“it still won`t change the fact that we`ll still be living together.”

“but―”

“and what? even if i get a girlfriend like you said, she won`t live with us.” jin`s hand dropped around your waist, he held you this time quite protectively. his arms looked strong around your waist, you could feel his abs muscles moving against your right arm. “at the end and the beginning of each day from the next week, it`s going to be us only in that apartment.”

“you can bring your girlfriend over anytime you want. i won`t have any problem with that.”

“what if i don`t want to?”

you both have reached the bus stop, currently standing and waiting for the bus. you snapped your head up at his towering height. jin wasn`t looking at you this time.

“what do you mean?” you asked, your voice held no assurance.

“i said i don`t want to get a girlfriend, forget bringing that said girlfriend into our apartment. it`s absolutely not needed,” jin now looked down at you who was about to say something, “and you must know at this point i don`t want anyone apart from you.”

“huh? jin?” your head now empty except for his last words.

i don`t want anyone apart from you.

what exactly did he mean by this sentence?

“i`m not getting a girlfriend. i don`t need anyone.”

“but you sound like you and me are..” you couldn`t finish the sentence because when you looked up jin this time, he was looking at you directly. his eyes were set on you and you only. there was no flickering in his eyes. they were intense yet warm. for the first time in your life, you couldn`t look him in the eyes.

this is strange. this is definitely strange you said to yourself.

“we`re what?” jin asked.

“i don’t know. you said to the landlord that we`re only best friend and that we`re this familiar with each other because we know each other for a long time but you`re talking like you were lying back there.”

“and what if i was?”

“jin!” you exclaimed, squeezing your eyes shut in sudden embarrassment. what is this guy doing? you thought, he sounds so ridiculous now does he even has the slightest idea of it?

“the bus is here, we`re going. come on, hold my hands.”

“no i`m not holding your hands.”

“but you always love holding them.”

“who told you that?”

“i don`t know but i guess we`ve spent enough years together, facing a lot of things together and i think we`ve always held hands no matter what.”

“but it`s because you`ve always been with me through those days. i never meant to do it on purpose.”

because the bus has already reached the stop. you guys gave your conversation a small break to get into the bus. after securing a seat, as usual, jin giving you the window seat, you guys went back to the talk.

“you never meant to do anything on purpose. and that`s why it makes it more special. that`s why i`m not getting a girlfriend. if things go well, i want to have a future with you, y/n.”

it isn`t a usual thing when jin starts calling you by your name and you know when he does say your name, it means, he`s extremely serious at that moment. but what made your head completely blank and your mouth drop was his wish to spend even the future with you.

“jin.” you completely turned your body to your left to face his side profile. when he noticed you have your undivided attention on him, he turned his face to his right giving back his own undivided attention on you.

“you must be kidding me. are you seriously confessing to me right now? you sound like you want to make me your wife or something after we`re graduate.”

“hey that actually sounds like a nice plan too.” he pulled his right hand out of his pocket and pointed at you.

you slapped his hand away laughing and rolling your eyes at the same time. “okay! i`ll see if your plan goes well.”

you turned around and put yourself in a relaxed way against the bus seat.

“oh by the way, i will forget to say. i want chicken noodles tonight. will you cook tonight?”

“i`ll bring it to your dorm.” jin continued, “like i said, anything for you.”

according to the rule in your college, first years had to stay in the dorms so that`s why both you and jin weren`t living together for this one year.

maybe this one year made jin think of you in a way he has never had. when he saw you on the first day at the entrance of the campus, he knew something felt different. you both weren`t just childhood friends from that day. no next-door neighbours who could simply wave at each other from individual windows. no classmates just a few desks away in one room. no same dinner table at your mothers` meetups. the time spent apart this one year, the lack of interactions gave jin chances to yearn for your presence and he felt like a new person every time he finally saw you before college. probably that`s why he couldn`t resist from saying what kind of days he looks forward to with you.

you looked away from him and moved closer to the window so that you can feel the much cooler air and not just think how jin for the first time in your life brought in a heat across your neck you almost couldn`t recognize, something which only existed in the books you read before tonight.

fin.

#jin imagines #jin drabbles #jin scenarios #jin fanfics #jin text posts #jin x reader #jin fluff #jin angst #bts fanfics #bts imagines #bts text posts #bts reactions #bts letters #bts scenarios #bts posts #bts #kim seokjin #pffbts #anon requested!

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aer-in-wanderland · 4 years ago

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구미호뎐 | 이동욱 Lee Dong Wook VLIVE 2020.11.18 - *VS* Game

In which Lee Dong Wook’s promotional team present him with ridiculous Tale of the Nine Tailed-themed questions to answer (and the occasional embarrassing line to perform). Full transcription below the cut.

Full Transcript [0:37:41~1:08:30]

Intro

Then, now in earnest we’ll... (breaks down laughing at himself). Don’t I talk a lot? Right? I mean, every week they release a behind the scenes video, right? And in all of them it’s just me talking the whole time. Of course, I really sort of joked around a bit on set. Well, not a bit. I joked around a ton on set, with the staff and the with the other actors, I did have fun playing around a lot and I did that but...I mean I was just talking so much, all by myself [in the BTS]. It was to the extent that I thought, ‘Hey, what’s with this? Is that why I was so exhausted?’ (chuckles). Yes (chuckles more). I’m a chatterbox, a chatterbox, a chatterbox.

Well, in any case, we’ve now had free talk for about 40 minutes (chuckling at himself), so now we’ll start the first activity prepared for me by my promotional team in earnest.

[Looking to his staff] What might the first activity be? [Staff shoves a box full of folded slips of paper towards him silently]. (Breaks into laughter) [To the staff] Well what is this? [*silence*] (Bursts into a fit of laughter watching the staff) No, it’s not that, it’s just, will you die if you talk here? No, everyone, it’s fine if you talk. Everyone, promotional team...

[To the viewers again] Right now there are five members of my promotional team in front of me, six including my manager, but they won’t say a single word (laughing), like people who will die if they speak. [To his staff] I just have to pick one? Ah, if I pick one I’ll naturally understand? Understood. Then I’ll, (more laughter). In that case, I’ll pi- (bursts into another fit of laugher). Understood. Then I’ll pick one.

[Selects a paper] Okay! I picked one. They’re telling me that if I pick one I’ll naturally come to understand, so I picked one. [Holding the paper up] I see, it’s a VS game.

Q: Who is the strongest whiner? [0:39:48~]

A. Sajang who is whining to give him the Chinese lantern plant - VS - B. Yoo Ri who is whining to save Lee Rang-nim

(Laughing) [To his staff] Yah~ the question is really cute. Did you all prepare this? Oh, I see. This is cute.

[Re-reads the question] I think, in any case, for this one, I can’t help but think that Sajang who is whining to give him the Chinese lantern plant is the strongest whiner. I mean, as a human being, if you’ve lived for hundreds of years isn’t it enough already? While torturing people, while eating the Chinese lantern plant, do you really have to cling to life? I can’t help but think that... (trails off)

⇒ A

Ah, and Eom Hyo Seob-sunbae who plays Sajang acted together with me in Life [2018], so when I met him again this time I was happy to see him. In Life he was the head of the Cancer Center, and I was a fellow in the Emergency Medical Center, so on set I used to call him ‘Mr. Cancer Center Chief’ (laughing). I would be like, ‘Mr. Cancer Center Chief, you’re here!’ like that. Well, in any case, there was that behind the scenes, a very slight, a very slight TMI.

[Note: Sa-jang-nim is actually just his job title meaning ‘head of a company’ while ‘Am-center-jang-nim’ means ‘head of the Cancer Center.’ LDW was basically using his title from Life instead of his title in TotNT.]

(Clears his throat) Okay then I’ll pick the next one. [Pulls another slip] I’ve picked it. [Spends a second debating where to place the box of questions]. I’ve picked one.

Q: Which scene was the most moving to Lee Yeon? [0:41:33~]

A. The scene where he saved Ji Ah after he returned in a near-death state from the Knife Mountain Hell - VS - B. The scene where he went to save Lee Rang who stood on death’s door in the Forest of the Starved

Yah, but for this one, isn’t the question framed wrong? In this case, these kids were the ones who were moved by me, weren’t they? (Laughs)

[Looking at his staff] No? Oh, talk! Please just talk! (Dies laughing)

[Looks back at the viewers] For this, I would have to ask these two though? I’d have to ask these two, for this one, I think that rather than Lee Yeon being moved, these were scenes where these two were probably moved by Lee Yeon. But in any case, the ending to episode 4 here and the ending of episode [8] where I go to save Rang-ie, they’re both meaningful. They’re iconic scenes that you can’t miss in our drama, they’re precious scenes, so I like both of them.

⇒ x

[Noting the heart count in the VLIVE app]

[Reading the live chat] I’m not going to call them. Those two are both busy people who each have their own lives so for me to suddenly call them would be an irresponsible thing to do. For today’s VLIVE, please just be satisfied watching me. I’m not going to call Kim Beom-ssi or Jo Bo Ah-ssi.

Then, moving on to the next question...

Q: If you had to have one as a morning desert, would you choose: [0:43:28~]

A. Meal worms that taste like mint chocolate ice cream - VS - B. Mint chocolate ice cream that tastes like meal worms

If you had to have one as a morning desert, would you choose: ‘meal worms that taste like mint chocolate ice cream’ ‘aish~ (laughing). [Knocks over the white board and fixes it] Okay, ‘mint chocolate flavored meal worms’ or, ‘meal worm flavored mint chocolate ice cream’? (chuckling - 3rd gif).

[To his staff] Who’s ever tried eating meal worms? What do they even taste like, meal worms?

Ah what’s with this~ How am I supposed to choose one of these? (Ponders the question for a bit) So I’ll choose B. Meal worm-flavored mint chocolate ice cream. (Sighs) Don’t you think it would at least be better to be eating ice cream? Rather than eating insects that taste like mint chocolate, I’ll eat ice cream. (Shaking his head) Ah~ that’s hard.

⇒ B

[Reading the live chat] Oh, it tastes nutty? Eh? You tried eating it? You’re saying you tried eating meal worms when you were seven? Who would try eating meal worms? There’s a lot of interesting people...

[Selecting another paper] Okay, next.

Q: If you had to dispose of one of your abilities which would you choose? [0:45:25~]

A. The ability to control nature - VS - B. The teleportation ability to move anywhere in an instant

Wah~ You can’t miss out on either of them though? Ah~ There’s nothing more appealing than the ability to teleport. Everyone, please think about it. How much time each day do we loose on the road? On our way to school, on our way to work, getting off work, going to cram school. If you save that time, you can get that much more sleep, right? That’s a really big [merit]. And think about it. When coronavirus ends and you can travel abroad again. Then you can use teleportation to go abroad instantly. You don’t have to spend like 14 hours on a plane.

The ability to control nature, how cool is this? This is really something that not just anybody can do. (Sighs while pondering the question again) Even so, if I had to give up one of them...I would give up my ability to teleport. I would use my ability to control nature and like...make it rain when there’s a drought, or make the rain stop when it rains too much, make the wind blow where there’s need of wind, that’s how I’d like to use my power. That’s what I’d do, yes.

⇒ B

[Talking to his staff] Oh~ you guys really did a good job coming up with difficult and weird questions. Really, the promotional team’s performance right now is really beyond my expectations. [Looking at a member of his staff] (chuckles) You really don’t ever smile, do you? (Laughing) Okay, continuing on, then...

Mission: “Don’t fly away. Your puppy will cry.” [0:47:15~]

‘Don’t fly away, your puppy will cry.’ [Looks to his staff] What’s this? You’re telling me to do this? (Looks at the paper for a while) You’re telling me to do this? Ah, this one’s a mission? So there’s not just VS questions, huh?

[To the viewers] Today, before doing the VLIVE, they told me about this corner and asked if I wanted to see the game ahead of time, and I said ‘I won’t. It’ll be more fun if I’m seeing it for the first time,’ but now I’m wishing I’d looked at it in advance. (Looks at the paper and sighs)

[To his staff] I have to do this like in the drama, don’t I? Is that right? (Laughs hollowly and puts his head down on the table) Ah~ I’m going crazy, seriously... (Puts his hands up to his face like in the drama but then can’t handle it and puts his head down on the desk again) ‘Aish~

[Softly to his staff] Everyone get out. Everyone go out. I want to be by myself.

“Don’t fly away, your puppy will cry~” (Performs the line but then can’t take his hands away from his face in embarrassment. Takes a long moment to collect himself)

(Sits up with his eyes closed) [Staff start clapping] Everyone get out. Leave before I open my eyes. I want to be by myself. If I open my eyes I think I’ll be really embarrassed so leave. (Waits a minute before opening his eyes, sighs, and then turns and calls to his staff). Team Manager, is there any soju? (chuckles) Okay, I understand.

[To the viewers] Ah, the promotional team really went and prepared a lot of things that I didn’t even imagine. Thanks a lot [said very formally but also without any sincerity whatsoever lol].

Q: If you were to be born again as a human, would you prefer to be: [0:49:25~]

A. A rich unemployed person - VS - B. A civil servant guaranteed employment until retirement

Of course it’s unconditionally A, right! There’s no need to even think this one over. Ah! (covers his mouth) Actually there are a lot of students watching right now. Everyone, you still need to study hard. We can’t be unemployed, right?

But I’m going with a rich unemployed person. OK.

⇒ A

Okay, next. [To his staff] I have to do all of these, right? (Answering his own question) Well, because I have to pay respect to the work you put into preparing them...hmmm [To his staff] Team Manager, that soju, can you put it into a water bottle and just... (laughs) Ah, it’s hot~

(Opens the next slip of paper and yells in chagrin) Ah, this!

Q: A never-ending battle? [0:50:12~]

A. Amazing Saturday - VS - B. Yoo Quiz

[Note: This question requires context so bear with me or skip to the next one. ;)

As part of the promotional rounds for TotNT, Lee Dong Wook, Jo Bo Ah, and Kim Beom appeared on Ep.128 of the quiz show, Amazing Saturday. There, they made a bet with the regular cast surrounding one of the quiz answers where whoever lost the bet would have to give a shout out to the other program (so if the TotNT cast won, the Amazing Saturday cast would have to promote the drama on their other variety shows, and if the AS cast won, the TotNT cast would have to reference AS in TotNT). They lost, and Lee Dong Wook promised he would reference AS at some point in an adlib. (This whole segment was actually really great because everyone figured it would be impossible and LDW was just like, ‘Call! I accept the challenge. I can do that.’ You can watch it here from about 5:50~)

LDW upheld his promise in EP05 when Yeon and Ji Ah go drinking and they compare the things they like. When LDW threw out the question he asked, ‘Yoo Quiz (another program that a close friend of his appears on) or Amazing Saturday?’ So then he felt apologetic towards Yoo Quiz and ended up sending them a coffee truck when Gong Yoo (Goblin, 2016) appeared as a guest on the program about a week or so before this VLIVE took place....so even though he’d finally managed to sort everything out, his staff are basically inciting him by asking him to choose again lol]

[Takes a moment before addressing the viewers] Just when I had finally finished all my reparations...(Nodding to himself) Just when I had finished all my reparations another wave is going to happen. (Looks at the paper for a long time) I’d like to appear on both programs sometime. If Amazing Saturday would invite me again, and Yoo Quiz please invite me sometime. I’ll just leave it at that. (Sighs) It’s hard, it’s hard.

⇒ x

[Takes a moment to drink some water and reiterate the things he wrote on his white board]

[Reading the live chat] Ah, it’s water, it’s water! It’s not soju, it’s not soju. This has been here since earlier. Everyone don’t misunderstand, that’ll be a big problem. There’s no way I’d do a live broadcast while drinking alcohol. Bad things would happen. No, please don’t misunderstand.

[Reading the live chat] It’s water, it’s water, yes. Please don’t misunderstand.

[Gives a shout out to the overseas fans and thanks them for the coffee trucks and gifts]

[Reading the live chat] My alcohol tolerance? My alcohol tolerance differs from day to day, but I never drink so much that I’m completely drunk or lose control of myself. I only ever drink enough that I’m still in good possession of myself and able and get home safely.

Then, continuing on. There are... (counts them) six left. There are six left, so I’ll continue...

[Suddenly thinks of something and looks to his staff] Are there more missions in here? You’re not going to tell me, are you? In any case. Alright. (To himself) How can I avoid picking those? Well, I have to do them all anyway...

(Opens the next one, reads it, and chuckles) [To his staff] You guys are crazy, seriously...

Q: If they were both drowning, who would you save first? [0:53:24~]

A. Ji Ah - VS - B. Shin Joo

If they fell in the water, if they fell in the water....Ah~ So this is how Shin Joo felt yesterday, this is how he felt. Yah~ ‘If they were both drowning, who would you save first, Ji Ah or Shin Joo?’ Ah~ I understand our actor Hwang Hee’s feelings. I understand Shin Joo’s feelings (sighs, then remembers something and chuckles).

[Note: This question is a reference to an exchange on Instagram. In preparation for an interview with Esquire, Hwang Hee posted on his Instagram inviting people to ask him TotNT-related questions. So Lee Dong Wook (who doesn’t run his own Instagram and isn’t on social media) texted a bunch of questions to Kim Beom and Jo Bo Ah to ask in his place. One question that he had Jo Bo Ah ask was, ‘If Lee Yeon and Yoo Ri were both drowning, who would you save?’ to which Hwang Hee responded, ‘That water, I will drink it all.’ lol]

[Looking directly at the camera] ‘That water, I will drink it all.’ (breaks into laughter) I’ll drink all of the water...Even if my water consumption goes badly I’ll do my best to save both of them.

[Reading the live chat] Ah, that’s right! I’m a mountain god so I can just make the wind blow like this and just part the water, I just need to do that. Why didn’t I think of that? As expected, the fans who are posting comments here are much smarter than me. Thank you.

That’s right. I was a mountain god. But I completely forgot that...

⇒ x

I’m not a really fast swimmer or anything but I’m still decent and I like playing in the water. I mentioned Life briefly earlier as well, but while shooting Life, free... (catches sight of something and starts laughing)

[Holds up a slip of paper with the words ‘Are you angry?’ written on it - lol] I’ve just received this message from my promotional team. No, not at all, what are you saying? I’m not mad. I’m not mad, and we can talk about more detailed things after the broadcast is over.

[Turns back to the viewers] When I was shooting Life, I learned free diving. I’d dive into about 10m deep water, so I don’t have any big rejection (fear) of water. But the ocean is different. Because the ocean has waves and undertow, you really need to be careful.

[Reading the live chat] I can’t do the butterfly stroke. The butterfly stroke is diffic- [Catches sight of the next prompt card and stops speaking mid-sentence. Drops the paper, sits back, and sighs lol]

(Holding the paper up reluctantly for the viewers to see)

Mission: “Part this darkness and lead me to that woman!” [0:55:32~]

(Long sigh)

[To his staff] How did you manage to pick all the most...these sort of lines, everyone?

(Reads the line out and laughs) You really went and picked just these kinds of lines one after another....I’ll do it standing, I’ll do it standing. Since I’m doing it anyway, I’ll do it standing.

(Spreads his arms wide and delivers the line like in the drama, then slowly sinks to the floor and makes like he’s going to crawl under the desk)

(Returns to his seat as one staff member starts clapping) [Looking at the person] Don’t clap. That’s more cheeky, don’t clap. Yah, if you’re going to clap you should all have clapped, what’s with just one person clapping? (laughs) Agh~

Even so, since today the broadcast was cancelled, even if I’m a bit...embarrassed or whatever, if you can enjoy yourselves, I’m satisfied with that. Yes. (Sighs again) This is definitely going around the internet as gifs, isn’t it? [Lol it definitely did] Yes, well, but in service of alleviating your disappointment at the broadcast being cancelled, I can handle this much. (Nods to himself) Okay, then continuing on...

Q: If you had to wear the same outfit and hairstyle for the rest of your life, would you choose: [0:58:02~]

A. The clothing of a mountain god + dark hair styled with pomade - VS - B. A suit + red and silver long hair

(Already laughing as he reads the question - gifs 1&2). Hey, this is essentially that right? Either the clothes are the mountain god clothes and the hair is dark and combed back with pomade in a modern style, or wear a suit with the mountain god hair, right?

[Directing the question to the live chat] Everyone please choose. Which do you think would suit me? What do you think would suit me, everyone please choose for me. Please send me your choice via the chat. I’ll choose whatever you choose.

Ah, this is really, the balance on this is really no joke. Wah~ This is really hard. Wah~ I mean, wearing a suit with that mountain god hair (breaks down laughing) Ah, how could you live your life like that? (more laughter) Ah, okay, I know. I know that this isn’t for real. And I know that there’s no way it could happen, too. But why do I end up taking it so seriously? Because I can’t help but keep picturing it (laughs).

[Checks the live chat] Oh? There are a ton of B’s? There are way more B’s than A’s? I see. I understand. In that case, if it ever became like this, if I could only wear one outfit and have one hairstyle for the rest of my life, I would have the suit and the mountain god (breaks into laughter before finishing his sentence) I’ll have the mountain god hair. Yah~ this one...the balance was good. Ah~ of all the questions in this VS game so far I think maybe the balance on this was the best.

⇒ B

Okay, then continuing on...Everyone, there are still 3 questions left. I have to do three more questions.

[Takes a water break]

Then I will continue with the game.

Q: Which term of affection would you prefer to hear from Ji Ah? [1:00:55~]

A. OPPA - VS - B. My puppy

‘What term of affection would you want to hear from Ji Ah? O-P-P-A, VS, my puppy.’ [He literally spells out the word in English here instead of just saying oppa lol]

Hm~ Hm~ [Takes a break to check the chat and reiterates that he’s drinking water and not soju] Please stop chatting that it’s soju. I’m going to get in trouble with Naver. That’d be bad, really bad. It’s water, don’t misunderstand.

[Returning to the prompt] ‘What term of affection would you want to hear from Ji Ah? O-P-P-A, VS, my puppy.’ Within the drama, Ji Ah has never once called me oppa, right? From the very beginning, she just uses banmal (chuckles) And from the very beginning she says ‘I waited for you (neo)’, right? [Note: ‘neo’ can be a bit rude, or at the very least isn’t polite]. So I think if she called me oppa it would be really awkward. I think, I just want Ji Ah to dote on me. So I’ll pick ‘my puppy.’ Because foxes are canines too.

⇒ B

Q: What makes you more angry? [1:02:15~]

A. When Imoogi fixates on Ji Ah - VS - B. When Sajang tries to drive a wedge between you and Lee Rang

Ah, okay, things that make Lee Yeon angry, right? ‘What makes Lee Yeon more angry?’ (Reads out the options) Ah~ This one is a bit... the balance doesn’t crumble in this situation. This one is definitely A.

To be honest, when Sajang tries to drive a wedge between the brothers, because I’m perfectly capable of resolving that myself, and I actually did resolve it in the drama, so that’s not a big problem. Also, I think that Lee Rang isn’t the type to fall for that either...

But when Imoogi fixates on Ji Ah, at those times, yes, a bit - well, not a bit - I get very angry.

That’s why, there’s that [scene] in the drama right? Where we’re fighting on the rooftop, and Imoogi says something about Ji Ah so I get angry and say ‘this XX,’ like that. And when he’s got ahold of Ji Ah’s shoulder, I show up and say I’ll break his wrist and such...yes.

⇒ A

[Reading the live chat] ‘When this is over is the promotional team going to be okay?’ Of course! They’re safe. It’s been amusing for me too. Only one question is left.

[Reading the live chat] ‘Are you close with Lee Tae Ri-nim?’ Yes, we’re close. All of us actors in Tale of the Nine Tailed are close and doing well.

[Reading the live chat] ‘If you mess with Ji Ah, Lee Yeon won’t stand for it, right?’ That’s right.

[Reading the live chat] ‘Long time no see, Lee Yeon’ (quoting Imoogi). Yeah, long time no see~

[redacted]

[Reading from the live chat] ‘I pray that at least one of those is a normal mission’ (laughs) [To his staff] Yah, look at that. Even the fans are telling you they hope it’s a normal mission. Okay, the last mission. [Holds up the empty box and reads off the title] ‘Do You Really Want to See It, Lee Dong Wook’s VLIVE?’, the last mission. Ah! I said mission, but. The last, I’ll now attempt to pick the last VS. It might not be a mission. Okay, what’ll it be? Ta-da! Ah~ it wasn’t a mission.

Q: If you had to experience hell one more time, which would you choose? [1:06:27~]

A. The Knife Mountain Hell full of knives - VS - B. The Forest of the Starved full of agwi?

(Blows out a long breath and contemplates the question for a while) This is hard. Why is this hard, you ask? I had a really really hard time filming both sequences. I went through a lot filming both, and the memories of those times keep flashing across my mind...Even so, I....

[Reading the live chat] ‘This question stresses me out.’ ‘I hate both.’ ‘There’s no end to the Forest of the Starved even if you die, right?’ ‘I really hate the Forest of the Starved.’ You’re right.

[Reading the live chat] ‘The knives hurt don’t they?’ That’s right.

[Reading the live chat] ‘Wah~ Isn’t this too cruel?’ [To his staff] Everyone, isn’t this too cruel, they say.... It’s not?

Okay, If I had to experience one again....I will not go to hell. I won’t choose~

⇒ x

Okay, with this, I played the VS game, and the occasional missions hidden in between, that my promotional team put a lot of effort into preparing for us. This was fun. [To his team] You did a really good job choosing the questions (nodding). Thank you all. Thanks (claps).

~~~

Wow, that was long! If you read this far, thanks for your attention and please consider liking or reblogging to let me know. I also posted a transcription of some of the Q&A that follows this, so please check that out as well if you’re interested. Annyeong~!

#lee dong wook #tale of the nine tailed #totnt #vlive #20201118 #my translations #이동욱 #구미호뎐 #vlive vs game #I dare you to try watching (or in this case reading) this without smiling

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riceccakes · 4 years ago

Text

Earth, Wind, and Coffee: Chapter Four Analysis

and now the last chapter of the fic! i really had so much fun writing these analyses so i hope you’ve enjoyed too :))

i’ve got a lot to say about this last chapter too so be prepared for a long one. lets get to it, shall we?

some fun stuff before we start!

before changing the direction of the story, the last chapter of the fic was going to be Chapter 3: The Meeting, A Well Deserved Jab, and a Good Night’s Rest

so, The Meeting was going to happen, korrasami was gonna come back together and instead of the krew outing during this chapter’s A Well Deserved Jab, korrasami was gonna go out on a date. korra still would punch iroh, korra never ‘moved in’ with asami, it was just gonna be a fluffy section. A Good Night’s Rest was actually going to feature hiroshi going to asami’s apartment while korra was over and being like “who the fuck is this” and korra was gonna be upset asami didn’t tell her dad about them (as, in the og timeline, they would be dating at this point) they’d have a convo working this out, a little like how korra said she’d never understand how asami and hiroshi don’t have a great relationship in A Much Needed Conversation. korra would then go to hiroshi’s office and make that whole speech and still ask asami to go the south. this is a v summed up version, one that when i made it, i was happy with. having published what i did, i much enjoy that ending more than this one :)

i wanted a way to show that korra likes asami (obviously, this is a korrasami fic) but of course, asami spent most of this only wishing korra liked her

mako asking out korra was a late edition, one i actually really like. mako’s role in the fic is pretty minor, sorry to those of you who really love him and maybe wanted more from him. however, i am a really big fan of the fact that in lok, even after all the stupid love triangle shit, mako was able to be good friends with korrasami, so i still wanted to capture that. he’s not at all upset when korra turns him down, but rather super happy for the fact that korrasami feel the same way about each other. an even later edition to this point is the bedroom scene when korra asks asami to wait for her, i’ll mention more about this scene later cause i really love it.

and we in gooooo: (i usually try to write these following the sections of the chapter but for this analysis, im gonna go topic by topic within each section)

literary devices (diction, figurative language, etc.):

There have been better days than this one. Days where Korra blows up Asami’s phone with funny Instagram posts she finds while Asami’s at school, days where she invites Mako and Bolin over and the four of them play board games, days where Korra asks if they can go out for a walk and she excitedly explores the area around Asami’s apartment. There have been worse days than this one. Days where Korra won’t get out of bed, days where Korra won’t speak, days where Korra won’t even look at Asami and she has to see that glossed over gaze gawk out the glass window.

back again, just quoting my favorite sections. and this one, yall, this one. the mirrored writing style, the ending with alliteration, how easily it describes a passage of time i mean come on. when i wrote this i was like “yyyyaaaasssss” and i won’t deny it. the “glossed over gaze gawk out the glass window” is obvious in alliteration, one that just sounds so good, it rolls off the tongue. but, there’s actually also another one, one that’s a bit more hidden “she excitedly explores the area around Asami’s apartment” note how these both end the descriptions of korra’s bad/good days respectively, as a sort of way to frame which parts of the sentence correspond with the good days and bad days. now, going onto korra’s days, three examples of good days, three examples of bad days (that’s technically six different days right there, and it doesn’t even have to be in succession.) what i also love about this info into korra’s days is how it shows a passage of time without having to be like “it’s been a few weeks” or “after some time/a while” it doesn’t stick out, at least not to me, it’s not a jarring way to say, “hey, in the story now, time has passed since last chapter!” idk, i just am really proud of this paragraph and i wanted to point it out in its own section :)

Asami will never, ever say she’s happy that the Red Lotus attack happened, but, it’s what brought Korra to her. It’s what brought more friends to her, it’s what brought her to see her father isn’t as great and almighty as she’d grown up to believe. How could she ever thank something so horrible for bringing about all these life changing things in her life?

this sort of, existential section, was something i came up with on the toilet. (tmi? im not gonna apologize tho, this is a behind the scenes explanation of my writing and some of my best writing happens on the toilet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) any who, i didn’t want to leave any loose ends and, up until this chapter, i don’t really think i showed how asami felt about the attack and the situation and what’s happened after. also, asami being the perfectionist and analyst she is, i know she’d reflect on everything that’s happened to her in the span of about six months (give or take) and even more so, reflect on what’s happened with korra in the time they’ve known each other. it was a bit painful to write this section, it’s that sort of mentality that’s like “some horrible, horrible shit happened, but really, really good things came out of it. so, should i still hate all that horrible stuff or should i just appreciate the good things that came out of it?” (i’ve been debating this for years now with something personal and to this day, i’m not sure. i’m not sure if i’m more thankful for it all happening because of the few good moments it brought or if i wish none of it happened for the chance at some alternate reality of good things happening. anyways, i digress)

Kuvira stays silent for a moment, “When Hiroshi reaches out to you, tell him everything you said to me. Tell him everything you said when we were in your apartment after the presentation. He needs to know how you feel, he needs to know how he’s made you feel for years. Hiroshi can’t change if he doesn’t know what’s wrong and you want him to change, don’t you?”

Asami grips the steering wheel, staring at the red light in front of her. Her foot slowly pulses on and off the break, inching forward, waiting for the signal.

“I do.”

She feels the pit of her stomach churn, wondering if she could ever say all of it to her father. Kuvira isn’t wrong, she wants her father to change, but not in every way. Not in the business sense, not in the ambition sense, but rather, she wants a father, she wants to feel like the man she calls Dad really deserves the title. It pains her to say he hasn’t. The light turns green and Asami’s foot hovers over the gas pedal.

“So then you’ll tell him?”

For just a moment, her Satomobile doesn’t move but with a sharp, deep breath, Asami steps on the pedal. “I will.”

back again with our car metaphor/symbol thing! i really do love this idea of using the Satomobile as a way to show the relationship between hiroshi and asami, and how asami handles that relationship. this is from A Much Needed Conversation, some time after asami’s returned to future industries, calling kuvira in reluctant hope of knowing what her father is doing. they talk about asami telling hiroshi all this important stuff, stuff that asami’s been hesitant to bring up at all. (only after a breaking point did she finally let it out) this section has a mix of it all, diction, metaphor, along with some suspense by using line breaks.

Her foot slowly pulses on and off the break, inching forward, waiting for the signal. / “I do.” - here’s a good example of suspense. (it continues through the rest of the excerpt) so, here was have asami, absolutely scared shitless, as she always is with her father and this subject of her life in relation to him. except, now with their time apart and what happened with the meeting, asami’s kind of got this “fuck it, whatever” mentality that goes a few different ways. “fuck it, whatever” my dad totally turned on me and was an asshole, i don’t care. “fuck it, whatever” we cut off ties, i can do whatever i want. “fuck it, whatever” i might very well do whatever it takes to get my dad back because i miss him but im also super scared as per usual. “fuck it, whatever” im not the one who needs to do anything to get him back so i won’t even think about it. there’s just a lot for asami to unpack here and in the setting of her father’s legacy, it’s even more for her.

She feels the pit of her stomach churn...The light turns green and Asami’s foot hovers over the gas pedal. - more suspense. the light is green, green means go, but asami is waiting, thinking, hesitating. this also relates to the line earlier “waiting for the signal” well, this is the signal, the green light means go. but also, kuvira telling asami to tell hiroshi everything is also the signal to go, it’s like the push for asami to do it. she sees the signal, it’s go time, and yet “Asami’s foot hovers over the gas pedal” asami is still nervous, still scared to have this conversation with her father because she just doesn’t know what’s going to happen.

“So then you’ll tell him?” / For just a moment, her Satomobile doesn’t move but with a sharp, deep breath, Asami steps on the pedal. “I will.” - this mirrors just a few lines earlier. when kuvira asks asami to tell hiroshi everything while she’s waiting for the green light, her dialogue has a line break. for dramatic effect purposes, but also to show a sense of firmness. it’s by itself, it doesn’t need to be supported; asami really, truly means this. however here, her dialogue tag is connected to the narration its related to. even while asami confirms she’ll do this, that she’ll talk to her father, it’s hesitant, it takes a moment for her to say yes.

what i really love is how much can be covered in such few lines. i’m not sure you all saw this when reading, ive always been very into reading/writing analysis, so i’m always looking at everything with a fine tooth comb; in my own writing, it’s no different. if you didn’t see this before, i hope learning it now gives you a different perspective if you ever choose to read my fic again :)

content (typing up loose ends, leaving breadcrumbs, additional info):

lets talk about korra

a lot happens for our girl in this last chapter. i’ll try to be concise, i tend to kind of ramble. i think what’s kind of cool, and i didn’t realize this beforehand, is that theres a speech from korra in each section. in A Well Deserved Jab, we see korra’s first time speaking at the support group meeting and what i really like about this is there’s no real big event that’s happened for her to finally be able to go up there. i feel like there’s always this one, life altering moment in stories when people need to deal with trauma or just work up the courage to do something, but in our case, it’s not like that. it’s the time and the care that’s slowly been working and helping korra for her to feel ready. it’s been a culminating process for her to get to go up there and for whatever reason, korra felt ready. let’s go a little into this speech

we finally learn more about the attack. we learn why korra’s always been picking at her wrists, the memory of the zip ties are still strong and she scratches at hopes of making the feeling go away. we also hear more about korra losing control that night, which in turn made her want to control everything with her life after the event. (lil fun-ish note while we talk about some deep stuff right now, last chapter’s first paragraph, about korra enjoying pour over coffees, was a purposeful choice. when doing pour overs, you have direct and absolute control over the coffee and how you make it, which gives korra a greater sense of comfort, because she knows she’s in charge when doing this.) my favorite part about this whole speech is right before the tail end of it, where korra says “sometimes surprises are better than plans” it was never in her plan to meet someone and find comfort and support and love and grow with it. (my headcanon is that korra just wanted to mull this over alone, sort of like in book four after the canon red lotus attack.) instead, korra met asami and the two clicked and korra could see a light at the end of her tunnel she thought would be pitch black forever. i really enjoyed getting to write this for korra.

korra’s second speech takes place in A Much Needed Conversation. another scene from the fic i wrote beforehand, i think somewhere between finishing chapter two and mulling over the decision to make the fic longer. this was sort of my cathartic, “lets yell at hiroshi for being sucky” moment. a lot of points are brought up here, all of which i believe are valid. it poses the simple, yet ever complicated question of “why?” i’ll get into hiroshi’s response in a later section, but what i’ll highlight about this speech is korra’s statement, “Now, I know that I don’t need to be saying any of this, because Asami can more than hold her own in any conversation, but I am doing this because you are hurting the woman I love, and I will not just let that happen.” its a declaration of love, love that i know is deeper than just romance but also deeper than just friendship. it’s admiration for asami being so strong, admiration for asami being so powerful and smart, korra says more about it in the speech. i tried it make so that korra wasn’t trying to control this situation with asami’s father, but rather, this was korra’s attempt at getting them to try and work something out. korra wants what’s best for asami, she wants her to get everything she wants. korra knows asami wants a better father and the most korra feels she can do is slap hiroshi (with her words) across the face and get him to realize that’s what asami wants.

korra’s third and final speech opens A Good Night’s Rest. we get just a little more about that night, i actually wrote this speech out loud. i just sort of put myself in korra’s place and started talking. my intent with this opening was to give more insight into how korra feels about asami. this is also a call back to the beginning of the chapter, about waking up asami if korra ever needs her. i took this action as a solidifying definition for asami to know “yeah, korra really does love me.” sure, in the last section, korra sort of did say it, but actions still speak louder than words. a lot of this final chapter was just showing how much korra has grown, i think i achieved that.

before we move on, i just wanted to say a lil bit about the bedroom scene where korra asks asami to wait for her. it’s a small confession that i think just says so much. another time here to show that romantic korrasami will happen, but it’s also just insight into korra and her thoughts about romancing asami. she wants it too, so badly that she almost gets into it before she’s ready. did i psych you guys out like asami, who thought she was finally going to kiss korra? it’s all in the lines, “I’m almost there...I know I am, Asami. I’ll be there soon, I need to be better. I need to be better for you.” and now, after thinking about it, i almost wasn’t gonna word it like this. what korra’s saying here is that her progression is only being done so that she can be good for asami, which, i didn’t want to convey. however, sometimes, that’s just how people think; they think, “if i have to do something, i gotta do it for someone else.” and so that’s what i’ve done with korra here, it’s just this mentality that she’s growing out of. it’s okay to have this thought process, good even, but not for every single thing you do. and i wanted korra to know that, which is why i love asami’s response, “I think you’re already great.” it’s just to remind korra, yes you can get better, you will get better. but not for asami, but for yourself, because asami already loves you the way you are.

kuvopal

breadcrumbs; that’s all i’ve really done so far with kuvopal is put lil breadcrumbs everywhere for the people who like the idea of the relationship to grasp at. is that mean of me? maybe, but i really love kuvira and opal as a couple so i wanted to keep hinting and hinting and hopefully getting you readers interested too. kuvopal has been sprinkled in since chapter two and i wanted to leave the readers with just a little ounce of hope

asami’s official introduction with opal heavily involves bolin, enough to the point where the two kiss each other on the cheek. now, of course, after reading the chapter, you know bolin and opal aren’t dating, but i wanted to stress you out a lil bit xD asami is weary of mentioning kuvira, so there’s not much we really get to see about how opal feels. opal may have wanted to talk when asami mentioned kuvira just before korra asked about spring break, but she didn’t. why didn’t she say anything? do you think she’s wanted to talk about kuvira? what about her major, child services and the foster care system, do you think kuvira influenced that, being she essentially was fostered by the beifongs? do you think we’ll ever find answers? *wink*

iroh

so obviously, we don’t like iroh. if there’s anyone in this story who doesn’t get a happy ending or a second chance, it’s him because he’s the worst. i realized we hadn’t seen too much of iroh in the previous chapters and this being the last one, i needed to really show just how not cool iroh is. the soccer game is very clearly an indication of just how conceded and rude he is. after the game, his conversation with asami is bad. he’s being invasive and inconsiderate of asami and he doesn’t care. same with at the restaurant. so, of course i wanted iroh to get his comeuppance and we have that by korra punching him.

going off of this, i didn’t want it to feel like iroh got a one and done kind of deal. he was incredibly awful to asami and his “friends” and i didn’t want this behavior to be taken lightly. so, i chose to make iroh just basically lose everything :) he loses his friends, possibly his job, i just KNOW izumi is disappointed as fuck that he’s acted like this and uncle iroh is rolling over in his grave that someone of his own blood would be like this. i wanted to address iroh in his own category because i just wanted you all to know that he is the only character not getting off easy. i really hope that how iroh’s situation turned out is good, as in, he got what he deserves.

hiroshi

hiroshi was an interesting character to go about in the final chapter. obviously, throughout the fic so far, hiroshi hasn’t been a standout father or boss. if i haven’t said it before, i’ll say it now: i always wanted hiroshi to have a second chance, ie, i wanted hiroshi to try to be better. for one, asami deserves it. she deserves a good parent who’s there for her and isn’t just obsessed with his job and the glory and empire he’s built up for himself. another reason, i believe everyone (within reason, *cough cough* not iroh *cough*) deserves a second chance. at the very least one more try, to be better, and if they’re actively trying, they’re doing better.

so hiroshi gets a bit of a wake up call from not only korra, after she so passionately scolded him in the name of her love for asami, but hiroshi also got one from asami directly. take your pick as to which conversation sparked hiroshi to call her to say goodnight. it’s an effort, and asami even says it herself, that after a while, the juice of it ran out. but kuvira said it too, it’s a start. what im trying to highlight is that no one is perfect and their ways of trying to change themself isn’t going to be perfect either.

and the kicker is hiroshi going to the south, without any other reason than to see asami. hiroshi only ever travels for future industries related business, but here he goes, without kuvira, to the south to see asami. i want to keep highlighting, asami says this is just the start. she hasn’t yet fully forgiven him, but she’s giving him the chance to be forgiven. that’s what i want to make most apparent on the topic of hiroshi and asami’s relationship: hiroshi is not getting off easy. but he’s trying, and in the words of the good place, that is what matters isn’t if people are good or bad, what matters is if they’re trying to be better today than they were yesterday. hiroshi, in this action, coming to the south, is trying to be a better father that day than all the days before. offering up the job offer from tonraq is hiroshi trying to be a better boss that day than the day before. staying in the south to spend real, quality time with his daughter is hiroshi trying to be better that day than every day before that.

it’s all in the trying.

honorable mentions:

in the og timeline, back when korrasami was going to be a confirmed couple in the fic, after returning from the south, asami was going to go to the cafe at one in the morning while korra was working and korra was going to make her an avatar. i liked the full circle aspect at the time but really, i much prefer what i’ve posted over that og timeline.

anything i would’ve wanted to change?

i think, overall, i maybe would’ve wanted to divide chapters up differently. as i continued writing, the three sections definitely could’ve supported themselves as singular chapters. especially this final chapter, which was almost 20k words. but, in the end, i am so proud of this fic and of myself for following through and finishing it.

i lost a bit of steam towards the end of this analysis, i’ve actually had this in my drafts for almost two months. but, i think what i wanted to say, i did, and as always, if you have any comments or questions, or just wanna talk to me, do it ! i love any and all commentary on my writing :))

thanks for reading the analysis if you did x

#ricewrites #earth wind and coffee #coffee shop au #korrasami #korra #asami sato #lok #writing analysis #chapter analysis

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prettyboy-parker · 5 years ago

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starker abo: homecoming

warnings: emotional and physical abuse (nothing explicit!), smut at the end, implied thorki, mentioned sambucky

words: 3.7k

“Jesus, he’s such a fuckin’ crybaby. I feel bad for Quentin.”

Everyone turns to look at the table across the cafeteria. Peter Parker, the world’s snootiest omega, is perched on top of the navy lunch table and bawling his eyes out. Loki, a lithe snarky omega, is patting under Peter’s eyes with tissues. His usual posse huddles around him, cooing at and petting him.

“I don’t. His performance in bed probably outweighs his attitude, if you catch my drift.” Sam snickers and Bucky punches him in the arm. The alpha lets out a whine and rubs at his shoulder. “Hey! What was that for?” He snaps at his boyfriend. Bucky just narrows his eyes. Tony finds himself looking at Peter again. He seems to have calmed down a little. His friends usher him out of the cafeteria, no doubt to help him fix his makeup. Tony could gag at how fucking prissy the omega is.

“You okay, Tony? You look a little pale.” Steve says, and Tony can’t believe he’s actually concerned.

“Jeez, Steve, I’m fine. Your motherly instincts take over?”

The table howls with laughter.

“Good one, Stark!” Thor booms and Steve rolls his eyes. Tony sends a wink at Steve, a group of girls heading towards their table emerging in the corner of his eye.

“Steven,” Peggy, the beta exchange student from England, pipes up. A few of her friends giggle behind her. “Would you come with me? I have to talk to you.”

Steve nods wordlessly, trailing behind her like a lost puppy.

“He’s smitten, I tell ya’.” Bucky slurs, tossing a crumpled napkin at Sam.

“Idiot. I’ve got to piss, see you in Calc.”

Sam groans and Rhodey shouts “TMI!” Tony passes a table of girls on his way out, and they all call his name. He shoots them a wink, opening the double doors to the hallway. It’s actually quiet in the hallway, aside from his combat boots thunking on the linoleum floors. He fishes through his leather jacket’s pocket, looking for his cigs, when-

“Watch where you’re fucking going!”

Tony stumbles back as he knocks into, well, none other than Peter Parker. He looks like he’s going to cry again as Loki lifts him off of the floor. The tan-skinned beta flips him a bird as they walk away.

Great.

✨👑✨

He can’t believe Quent would ever say that to him. For one, he’s not a slut. He’d never cheat on Quentin, he knows that, so why did he say it? Two, Quentin’s lucky no one was around to see Peter’s tears.

What he can’t get over is how Quentin touched him like that.

He’s heard of alphas hitting their omegas, but it’s always been an old wive’s tale, or whatever. He guesses that Quentin’s just stressed. He didn’t do so hot on his Pre-Calc test, so maybe he has some pent up anger.

Peter needs to send him some flowers.

By the time he gets back to his apartment, he’s already tried calling Quentin three times to apologize, but the alpha never picked up. He drops his Vera Bradley book bag on the floor with a heavy sigh.

“Hey, Peter! How was school?” Uncle Ben asks from where he’s seated at the kitchen island.

Peter breaks down into tears.

Uncle Ben takes him in his arms, holding him close. That’s the thing about his uncle, whenever he’s upset he just lets Peter cry it out, never asking for an explanation. Peter appreciates when his aunt gives him advice, he really does, but sometimes it’s nicer just to be held.

“I’ve got Halotop ice cream that’s calling your name.”

Peter giggles softly as Uncle Ben ruffles his hair.

Soon enough he’s cuddled under his silk sheets, a carton of peanut butter cup ice cream in his hands. In the midst of watching Cady and Janis mix together foot cream, his phone rings. “Quentin 💕💕” lights up on the screen over a very flattering picture of his boyfriend.

“Hi,” Peter answers quietly.

“Hi honey, I just-um-wanted to say I’m sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean any of it.”

“It’s okay Quent, I was a bitch too. I’m sorry.” Peter responds quietly, stabbing his ice cream with his spoon.

“You kind of were. I’ll catch you tomorrow, okay?”

“Bye, love you.”

“Bye.”

Peter hangs up the phone, feeling emptier than before.

✨👑✨

“Anthony, you are not wearing that.”

Tony smirks and adjusts the collar of his leather jacket.

“Don’t worry, dad. I know Peter. It’s all good.” He replies, running a hand through his hand. Howard clenches his jaw.

“Come on, boys. We don’t want to be late.” His mother calls, ushering the two to the car. Howard still looks pissed as he climbs into the driver's seat, Tony scrolling through Instagram as they drive to the Parker’s. A picture of Peter appears, the omega posing on the hood of a cherry red ‘65 Thunderbird. His long, milky legs are displayed by his tiny red running shorts. A sliver of his toned stomach is exposed by his cream Coca Cola crop top. His almond hair looks like it’s blowing in the wind. Red heart-shaped glasses frame his face perfectly. The caption reads “Taste the Feeling! ♥️♥️”.

A small part of Tony wants to taste him.

He ignores that part.

“Now you behave, Anthony. This deal is important, we’re paying Benjamin a lot of money for his program.” Howard reminds him.

“Yeah yeah,” Tony replies, rolling his eyes and itching for a smoke. They pull up to one of the apartment complexes in the Upper East Side of Manhattan. Tony begrudgingly follows his parents, the elevator operator nervously pressing the buttons. The elevator brings them directly to Peter’s penthouse because of course, the Parkers have a penthouse.

“Oh, hello!” A voice exclaims from the kitchen. He stands awkwardly until Mrs. Parker emerges from the other room. “Welcome, all of you!” She exclaims, giving his mom a hug.

“Oh, Anthony, I remember when you were just a baby. Your mother came to me for a dress for a gala, and she brought you along. You’ve grown into such a handsome alpha.”

Tony flushes, embarrassed. His mom laughs loudly and pinches his cheeks.

“Peter should be down soon, he always takes forever to get ready.” Mrs. Parker complains, pushing her glasses farther up her nose. “Benjamin is picking some whiskey from the cellar. Why don’t you come sit down?”

Mrs. Parker leads them to the living room, where the couches are covered with blankets and the fireplace roars. Tony sinks into the knitted blanket, sighing heavily.

“Oh, goodness, I’m sorry I’m late!”

Peter Parker is at the top of the steps, in a tight, glittery maroon dress, looking like an absolute vision.

“Come down, Pete.” His aunt calls with a smile. The omega’s heels click on the hardwood staircase as he comes downstairs. He’s prettier up close, a silver glittery barrette holding his curls out of his face. Gold glitter is swept over his cheeks and eyelids.

“Anthony,” He says, scrunching up his button nose. Tony winks at him. The only empty seat is next to the alpha, so Peter daintily sits down on the couch. He smells divine, like expensive floral perfume mixed with the sweet scent of omega.

“You can call me Tony, you know.” The alpha purrs under the voices of his parents and Mrs. Parker. Peter rolls his eyes.

“Dully noted.” He snaps back, but Tony just laughs.

Dinner goes on slowly and Tony keeps his mouth shut. Peter’s definitely checking him out (or maybe that’s just Tony’s ego.) During the meal of lamb and beef, Tony notices a bruise blooming under the hem of his dress.

The omega gives him a glare and adjusts his collar.

✨👑✨

“Did you hear? We’re being assigned partners this time.”

“Ugh, gag,” Peter grumbles, tapping his pink pen on his pink notebook.

“I know,” Loki responds, eyes glancing to the back of the room. “I hope I get paired up with Thor, though.”

Peter smiles and picks at his cuticle.

“He better ask you to homecoming. I’m blackmailing him if he doesn’t by Friday.” He says nonchalantly, eyeing the burly blonde in the back of the room. He’s laughing about something with Anthony.

“Peter. I’ll beat you to it, you know that.” Loki jokes. Peter nudges him in the shoulder of his dark green sweater. The class quiets down when Ms. Hill steps into the room.

“Good afternoon, everyone. As you may have heard from the other classes, we’re starting our quarter project.” She announces. “I’ll be assigning you into partners, and you’ll be researching the impact and achievements of a Chinese dynasty.”

The glass groans, a few pairs of eyes flicking around nervously.

“Calm down. It’s senior year, you should all know each other by now. I’ve already have your partners, so listen up...”

Peter studies his French manicure as Ms. Hill calls out their names. He gives Loki a wink when the teacher pairs Thor with him for the Tang Dynasty. It’s getting to the end of the list, and Peter’s worried that Ms. Hill might have forgotten him, then-

“Tony and Peter. Song Dynasty.”

The omega dies a little inside.

“Alright, get to work! Rubrics are on my desk, get brainstorming!”

The class disperses into a flurry of noise and movement. Tony slowly stalks over to him like the douchebag he is.

“How about you get the rubric?” Peter suggests, but it’s more of an order than anything. Tony smirks and places his pencil on the desk next to Peter.

“Anything for you, princess.” He teases, causing the omega to flush a bright red. Peter doodles in his notebook until Tony gets back with two rubrics.

“Song Dynasty. I’m fuckin’ pumped.”

This actually makes Peter giggle a little bit.

“Calm down, Anthony.” He quips back, a small smile on his face.

It turns out the two work together pretty well.

Tony’s definitely not a slacker, and had avid ideas that Peter wrote down. They settled on a comedy-style presentation. (Which Peter would neverdo, but who can say no to Tony’s puppy dog eyes?)

When the bell rings, Tony walks him to his next class, like a...gentleman.

Who knew?

✨👑✨

“Good morning Midtown! I’m Peter Parker, your SGA President.”

Tony turns his attention to the T.V in the hallway. Peter sits at the newscaster desk, in a navy and white tennis polo, a matching headband pushing back his curls, and two big pearls adorning his ears. Tony could purr, but he pinches himself. There’s no way he can be falling for Peter Parker.

No way.

The entire hallway goes silent, in awe of their queen on the screen.

“A quick reminder-next week is spirit week! The days are posted on our Instagram and around the school. Don’t forget to buy your homecoming tickets. They’re being sold all week in the cafeteria. Thanks, and have a wonderful day!”

Everyone resumes their conversation.

Tony slams his locker shut.

✨👑✨

“Oh god, you are not making me ride that.”

Tony laughs loudly and tucks his hands into the pockets of his jacket.

Peter stands with his arms crossed over his baby blue Chanel sweater. His pink lips are turned down into a frown, button nose scrunched like it always is.

“I am. Unless you want to walk?” Tony coos, handing his helmet to the omega. His honey eyes glance down at the black helmet, then back up to Tony.

“You’ll keep me safe?” Peter asks quietly, his bitchy facade dropping. Tony’s eyes widen.

“Oh, of course, Pete. I’d never let anything happen to you.” The alpha responds, genuine care in his voice.

“Well, then let’s go, slowpoke.” Peter huffs, placing the ill-fitting helmet on top of his curls. Tony chuckles and straddles the bike, waiting as Peter slowly wraps his arms around his torso, resting his cheek on his back.

“Hold on!” Tony calls as he starts the bike, causing the tiny omega to yelp. They leave school, weaving through the cars and students. Peter shouts directions to his house in Tony’s ear, the alpha smiling as the wind whips behind him. They eventually arrive at Peter’s apartment complex, parking his motorcycle in the garage for the occupants.

“That sucked,” Peter grumbles, but-Tony sniffs the air.

Peter’s turned on.

He’s about to crack a joke, but stops himself. Peter looks at the ground, embarrassed.

“Sorry. Didn’t bring my car.”

Peter tries to hide his smile.

The omega brings him up to his penthouse, heading to the kitchen to grab something to eat.

“Do you want anything, Tony? I’ve got...quite a lot.” Peter asks, grabbing some wheat crackers and spread from the fridge. Tony shucks off his leather jacket, placing it over the back of the chair. He runs his hand over the cool marble counter.

“I’m good, but thank you.” He responds, pulling his notebook out of his bag. Peter shrugs, grabbing his book bag.

“Suit yourself. Let’s go upstairs, my aunt will be home soon.” He tells Tony, not sparing him a second glance before heading to the staircase. The alpha rushes behind him, narrowly avoiding an expensive looking vase. They turn right down the hallway, pictures of Peter at all stages of his life on the walls. One catches Tony’s eyes, a little baby Peter with a big blue bow on his head, smiling as he plays in a pile of leaves.

“Please don’t touch anything, Anthony.” Peter sniffs when they reach his room, pink exploding in Tony’s vision. His room is huge, perfectly cleaned and organized. There are pictures everywhere, Peter smiling with his friends. A king-sized canopy bed sits in the middle of the room, expensive silk pillows arranged with care. Peter plops himself on the ground, spreading out his papers.

��Your room is...nice.” Tony comments, sitting on the ground next to Peter. He's still overwhelmed by the omegan aroma filling the room.

”Thank you.” Peter says softly, clearly pleased.

”Should we get started? I had some ideas about how we should present the civil service exam.”

They get a big chunk of their work done but end up talking about everything butthe Song Dynasty. Peter’s actually really fucking smart, wanting to study biological engineering in college. He's down to earth and an absolute sweetheart when he's not surrounded by the student body.

And he's really fucking pretty.

”I know! Fury is such a hardass!” Peter exclaims through giggles, tears coming out of his big doe eyes. His curls are a mess, splayed underneath his head.

Tony isn’t thinking when he reaches over and thumbs away Peter’s happy tears.

The omega blinks in surprise, but-

sucks Tony’s thumb into his mouth.

Tony growls loudly, removing his thumb from Peter’s mouth with a pop, leaning down, and pressing his lips to the other’s. The omega is everything Tony thought he would be. Sweet like sugar, with the remnants of the crackers on his tongue. He hums happily as Tony picks him up, pulling the smaller into his lap.

“Tony-“

“I fucking like you, Parker.”

“Tony,” Peter whispers as the alpha lightly drags his fingers over his bare thighs. “Tony, I have a boyfriend.”

“He doesn’t deserve to be your boyfriend, Peter.” Tony says, almost frantically. “He-He fucking hurts you.”

Peter flinches at his word choice.

“He doesn’t. It’s none of your business.” The omega breathes, avoiding Tony’s gaze.

“Peter, please tell someone. Or break up with him, I don’t care.” The alpha pleads, taking Peter’s hands in his. The omega rips them away.

“He loves me. Please drop it.”

Tony bites his tongue.

✨👑✨

“Loki, your bow is crooked.”

Loki rolls his eyes and spins around.

“Then fix it, Peter.”

Peter laughs and straightens the blue bow that holds his black, silky hair out of his face. It’s Class Colors Friday, the seniors getting their rightful color of blue. Harley takes a bite of his sandwich, looking over Peter’s shoulder.

“Uh, Pete? Quentin’s coming over here, and he looks mad.”

Peter turns around, seeing his boyfriend heading towards him with a scowl on his face. Peter pretends to light up, giving him a small wave. Before he can greet the alpha, he’s grabbing Peter by his cheerleading jacket.

“You fucking slut,” He growls, blue eyes narrowed. “You sleeping around with Stark now?”

Peter whimpers as his breathing picks up.

“Quent, you’re making a scene.” He whispers, tugging at the alpha’s sleeve gently. Quentin grins menacingly.

“Am I, now?” He chuckles, pressing a kiss to Peter’s cheek. “That’s high praise coming from a drama queen like yourself. Have fun finding another homecoming date.”

With that, Quentin pushes him back, and storms out of the cafeteria. Peter follows him, ignoring the shouts from his friends.

“Quentin, baby, wait!” The omega calls out once they get into the hallway, causing the alpha to spin around.

“Is it true? You made out with Stark?”

Peter’s bottom lip quivers as he stays silent. Quentin sighs exasperatedly, clenching his fists tightly.

“You deserve everything I did to you, Peter. And I hope you fucking know it.”

Peter doesn’t see his, well, ex-boyfriend, leave through his tears. He shuffles off to the omega restroom, trying to keep his mascara from running. He sifts through his purse for his little packet of tissues, dabbing at his eyes frantically. The door swings open, and Peter expects Loki and Harley, but the smell of smoke and musky alpha fills the room.

“Shit, Peter, I’m so fucking sorry,” Tony says quickly. Peter just whimpers and cuddles into the alpha’s torso.

“You were right,” He cries, breathing in deep breaths of Tony’s scent. The other boy strokes his curls, shushing him. “And now I don’t have a homecoming date, and all my friends do, and senior year is just going to suck.”

Tony sighs deeply from above him.

“I can go with you, if you want.”

Peter looks up into Tony’s deep brown eyes.

“Are you asking me out, Anthony?” He teases, poking the alpha’s cheek. His eyes widen in surprised.

“No! Not at all. I’m just saying, if you wanted to, I’d be willing to go with you.”

Peter laughs and kisses him.

✨👑✨

Tony’s so fucking nervous.

His hands shake as he grips the stupid plastic corsage box in one, ringing the doorbell with the other.

Mrs. Parker opens the door.

“Tony. Come on in. Peter will be down in a second.” She says with a glint in her eyes. Tony follows her into the apartment, perfectly clean, like always.

“Let me see,” Mrs. Parker smiles, leaning over to look at the corsage in the box. “He’ll love it.”

Speaking of him-

Peter Parker appears at the top of the steps.

Tony’s mouth parts subconsciously. Peter looks-Peter looks stunning. His dress is a cherry red that matches his lipstick, all lace and off the shoulder. He walks down slowly, smoothing the skirt of his dress.

“Peter, oh my god, you look beautiful.” Tony sputters as Peter gives him a peck on the cheek.

“And you look handsome,” The omega responds, thin fingers adjusting Tony’s tie. “You bought a corsage!”

Tony laughs, opening the box and picking up the white rose. He adjusts it on Peter’s wrist as the other boy pins a white boutonniere to Tony’s lapel.

“Perfect,” He coos, pressing another kiss to Tony’s jaw.

Mrs. Parker gives him a quick, threatening talk as Peter uses the bathroom. Peter fake swoons when Tony opens the passenger door to his Audi.

They’re the perfect pair.

They take pictures and dance and kiss and it’s everything Tony could ever dream of. Peter wins homecoming queen, as he should. He looks divine on stage, sparkling tiara on his curls and smiling wide.

“Alpha,” Peter whines, 30 minutes before the dance ends, making Tony’s heart skip a beat.

“Yeah, baby?” Tony responds, grinding his hips forward against Peter’s ass, a quiet ‘oof’ falling from his lips.

“Can-Can we go back to your place? If your parents aren’t home-“

“Fuck yes.”

The car is thick with the scent of arousal, the mixing of their pheromones making Tony crazy. They’re on top of each other once they make it inside.

“Tony, where’s your room?” Peter moans as Tony nibbles on his neck. The alpha doesn’t respond, instead lifts the smaller into his arms. Tony rushes upstairs, making sure he doesn’t drop Peter. They collapse onto the bed, Tony pressing his lips to Peter’s. He tastes delicious, as always, and Tony can’t help but moan. He pulls off of Peter, shucking off his suit jacket as Peter stands up.

“Alpha, can you help undo my dress?”

That phrase sends a jolt of arousal to Tony’s dick.

He obeys, thick fingers tugging the silver zipper down. Peter steps out of the dress, his freckled back on full display, as well as his delectable ass that’s barely covered by white panties. In awe, Tony runs his fingers over the pale stretch marks littering his flesh.

“Is that- are they too gross? Quentin always said t-they were ugly.”

Tony’s speechless.

“No, no, baby,” He coos, spinning Peter around so he can see his face. His doe eyes shine with oncoming tears. “You’re fucking beautiful, you know that? You’re the sexiest goddamn thing I’ve ever seen.”

Peter giggles shyly, flushed.

“Fuck Quentin. He’s a pussy, not a real alpha. He never deserved you. You’re perfect, my little omega.”

They make love.

There’s nothing else to call it-not fucking, not sex. Peter rides him for everything he’s worth, tiny cock leaking against his stomach as his thick thighs straddle Tony’s. The tiara stays on, his curls becoming damp with sweat. Tony doesn’t last long, he pops his knot too early, but he doesn’t mind, since Peter is right behind him.

“Tony?” The omega whispers after Tony slipped out of him and cleaned them up.

“Yeah?” The alpha responds, breath hitting the back of Peter’s neck.

“I fucking like you, Stark.”

Tony laughs, pulls Peter closer under the covers, and kisses him.

#starker #starker fic #starker abo #ironspider #abo dynamics #highschool au #not my best but #whatever #my writing

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wheredidhiseyebrowsgo · 5 years ago

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hi! are there any fanfics with both of them or maybe just one of them being heavily tattooed? like their whole body? but not magic tattoos, just regular? preferably sterek, steter or stetopher, thanks a lot ☺️

Yes, for sure. - Anastasia

Sour Kush by alisvolatpropiis

(1/1 I 2,947 I Explicit I Sterek)

Stiles mentally curses Erica, because in all of her warnings about how brusque this guy could be, she forgot mention that he’s also hotter than the fucking sun. If Stiles had any lingering questions about his sexuality, they’d be completely settled by what this guy is doing to him. In fact, he might not even be gay anymore. He might be in the midst of crossing into some yet-to-be-named sexuality that’s all about a scruffy black beard and alarming green eyes and muscles and tattoos and this guy’s everything ever.

The guy’s name is Derek, his lust-addled brain supplies distantly.

Well that settles it, then. Stiles is Dereksexual.

Take a Glorious Bite Out of the Whole World by weathervaanes

(1/1 I 5,472 I Explicit I Sterek)

Stiles gets a tattoo when he turns eighteen. Derek notices. Quietly.

The tattoo is vein-like and strange, but it’s so very…right. It’s not necessarily a picture, but free-flowing lines that wind around his arm and dip and dance around his scars. It makes him feel free, makes him feel powerful.

He goes in for his second tattoo when he’s about to leave for school in Southern California.

It's not so much of a second one as a continuation. He decides that, though the pattern isn't of branches it acts like them, so he branches it down over his shoulder and down to the center of his back, kind of like draping a toga. At the center of his back the lines concentrate and sort of circle. He adds a splash of jade-shaded almond shapes and feels stronger somewhere deep inside.

Love's Violent Delights by Dexterous_Sinistrous

(1/1 I 10,685 I Explicit I Sterek)

Derek caught the way the man’s eyes looked over Stiles before lingering on his ass. He waited for the clerk to place the key on the counter before he reacted.

Stiles startled at the loud noise, turning away from the pamphlets in the display box to see Derek pinning the clerk’s head against the counter. He drew in an even breath, looking between the struggling man and Derek.

Derek briefly looked at Stiles, hesitating before he saw the gleam of excitement in Stiles’ eyes and the hint of lust in his scent. “Ever look at him, or any other Omega, like that again, and I’ll slice your eyes out with my claws.” He shoved the man back, not caring of the commotion that was made as he snatched up the key from the counter.

Celebrity Skin by KeepGoing

(1/1 I 14,107 I Explicit I Sterek)

Derek feels his cell phone vibrating in the tight pocket of his jeans and he shucks off his gloves and balances it between his ear and shoulder as he cranks the lever on the bulldozer.“What’s up, Scott?”

“Have you seen the news?”

Derek turns the engine off on the large machine and leans back in the padded seat. The sounds of drilling and cranes all around him cause him to press his ear uncomfortably against the receiver to hear the Alpha. “Yeah. I almost threw my remote through the TV.”

Scott sighs on the other end of the phone. “Good thing you didn’t. I refuse to replace another TV.” He pauses. “You know he’s coming here, right?"Derek scrubs his hand over his face and rests his head back against his seat; eyes sliding shut.

“Yeah, I figured. It is Stiles, after all.”

Risky Business by super_queer

(8/8 I 14,624 I Teen I Sterek)

Stiles goes to get a tattoo in memory of his mother, and his tattoo artist just happens to be Derek Hale.

We Gotta Hide What We're Doin' by CharWright5

(1/1 I 17,293 I Explicit I Sterek)

As a Bodyguard within the Stilinski Rodzina, Derek's one and only job is to watch over the Omega son—and only child—of the Family's Head, Stiles, a task that is easier said than done some nights. It's just good that the Alpha knows the best way to punish the little troublemaker when his bratty behavior threatens to expose a secret that could get the Bodyguard killed.

Ink Blossoms by Triangulum

(1/1 I 24,501 I Explicit I Steter)

"So, you're going to ruin your niece's baby shower with flowers in the wrong color?" the florist, Stiles, asks when they reach the counter. He pulls out a binder and starts flipping through it.

"Not ruin. Mildly inconvenience," Peter says.

"Right, messing with a hormonal pregnant woman seems like a great plan."

"To be fair, her fiance and the father of her baby is my ex-boyfriend," Peter says. "And we weren't broken up when they started 'dating'."

Stiles looks up at him in surprise. "And you're still getting her flowers?" he asks.

"It's under duress, I assure you," Peter says. He absolutely wouldn't be here if his alpha hadn't ordered it.

"Well, shit, yeah, let's get you some purple revenge flowers," Stiles says.

I Have Faith In Nights by DaintyBoots

(8/8 I 35,808 I Mature I Sterek)

Derek had always thought his ability to pick up strays was a bit of a hindrance. But then he met Stiles.

Salty Sweet by secondstar

(!1/11 I 46,478 I Explicit I Sterek)

Derek works at a porn store. One day, Stiles comes in asking all sorts of TMI questions about different toys. That's where it all starts.

Hook, Yarn, Sinker by pprfaith

(23/23 I 65,657 I Not Rated I Steter)

Stiles is happy with his store, his hobbies, his friends. Peter's just trying to figure out how to raise his nieces and nephew without fucking them up too badly.

Paths cross.

#teen wolf #sterek #steter #stiles stilinski #derek hale #tattooed!stiles #tattooed!derek #anon

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diabolikmosquito · 5 years ago

Text

Just-Watched Thoughts on S3

Alright time to write this while I’m still here recovering so I can go to bed already. I might add more/clean this up once I get some proper sleep. Tagging it but putting Castlevania Season 3 spoilers under a cut just in case people haven’t got tags hidden and such. Here goes-

Overall I’m honestly just kinda shocked? I think it’s because a lot of things were easy to predict (that the cult might be trying to bring back Dracula, something was up with the Judge, Hector was obviously gonna fall for Lenore’s bs, etc.) so when things happened I didn’t see from a mile away..

When I was only like an episode or two in, things actually felt a little stunted to me? Something about it felt like “This is what people liked from before, right??” particularly with certain action or such, but I feel like it picked up pretty quickly from that. I’m still kinda in winding-down-emotions mode so I can’t really definitively say what storylines I liked and which ones I disliked for the most part. I liked Isaac’s, and the design of the... Hivemind Magician? Was all pretty sick. It felt like the first thing that was actually a massive challenge for him, and nearly overtook him, but he overcame it and even came out of it thinking through what he wanted for the future. It’s a nice change from seeing him steamroll anything that came his way.

I like that Trevor and Sypha’s storyline ends up with them not getting their heroic grand time like they did last time. Yes, there were sacrifices made, but before it still felt grandiose: they’d worked together to kill Dracula, something the world didn’t even think possible for the most part. This time, they sacrificed a lot more and ultimately didn’t win a thing other than their own lives, and were helping a hidden monster in their process of killing other monsters. What a crushing thing for them to have to go through, and I think Trevor’s conversation with himself before (and later with said monster, ironically enough) about missing parts of his old non-heroic non-adventuring life was pretty somber and interesting.

The whole Lenore/Hector route was exactly what’s expected from the beginning, but it was done well for what it was, and I don’t think they were trying to fool anyone with the direction it was headed. Carmilla’s plot was.. eh, more or less not much seemed to actually happen, but it did introduce us to the awesome vampire sisters so I’m more than down with it. I wish we got a little more about Saint Germain’s whole deal with that portal and such, who he was looking for and how he knows they’re still alive in there, but I assume that’s a next-season kind of thing. I’m gonna ramble if I write anymore so here’s a more concise/clear list:

Things I liked - Trevor and Sypha’s chemistry! I thought it was good the first couple seasons (which apparently puts me in the minority?) but they felt much more compatible as a couple this time around. The little exchange about the “taste for rougher things in life” is wonderful, and I definitely snorted when she sleep-bapped him in the face. - The tidbits of funny dialogue! Seems to still be a show specialty. Some of them were understandably a bit funny (using “Nope! speedwalks away” in place of “shut it” is pretty good), and others weren’t funny but I just found it hilarious (e.g. Morana’s repeated fancily-stated things that boiled down to “... Lenore, seriously, TMI”) - The soundtrack! Not really any surprise, despite it not being the famous Symphony of the Night tracks people clamored for trust me I totally get that and despite it still not being released even from season 2 much less 3, it was very nice to listen to. - The vampire sisters! While it was obvious from the beginning Lenore was the “cutest/nonthreateningest-looking of the scary bunch but actually the scariest” one I liked the energy they all had, especially Striga and Morana and their relationship. I liked that we got to see Carmilla’s attitude bouncing off of other vampires who (while respecting her skill) also called her out for it from time to time. - The references! I’m sure there’s more and I’m a dumbass who only spots the obvious ones, but... the fact there’s demons that’re exactly ones out of the ol’ Symphony of the Night game again, like the Malachi and Fire Demon. It’s so dumb but I love shit like that, especially since they obviously stray far from the game canon and don’t have to do that but do it anyway. - Some of the action scenes. I cannot mention what I like without mentioning the parts that made me go “... Okay, yeah, that was badass.” You know the ones! When Cho busted that sword with her hands, when Sypha chopped that angel-like demon into pieces. ... A lot of the stuff Sypha did, actually, I’m glad she got some more epic moments to kick ass this season. I thought the earlier action scenes of the season were just alright, but by the last fight it was definitely starting to feel like that awesome dynamic fight style we saw in season 2. - The fact Dracula saw an opportunity to return and didn’t want to. Not much to say here other than the obvious - I feel like that’s extremely fitting, and I’m glad they made it clear without bringing him back and having him be angry/regret it or something like that. Without any dialogue, even. - The ending.. somewhat. It destroyed me a little on the inside, but I actually like that nobody really had a happy ending. Particularly if there could be another season, it feels really fitting. I’ve seen some people complaining “They ended up where they started! Trevor and Sypha are back on the road, Isaac’s traveling with his army, Alucard’s alone in the castle and Hector is a slave” but I couldn’t disagree more. Of course if you boil it down to the words themselves, it’s “the same,” but did ya see the sheer trauma literally everyone was put through? Obviously some had it worse than others (and we’ll fucking get to that) but nobody came out unscathed. Everyone’s now had some belief challenged or retreated further into a fear/mistrust that already existed - previous events planted the seed for it and the hell the cast went through gave it growth.

Trevor and Sypha are going to have to challenge their goal they’d been following since working together/getting together: they can’t just go headlong adventuring and fixing people’s problems, because things like this can happen. Their new allies and the entire town were slaughtered or trapped somewhere, and the man they’d trusted and been helping this entire time was a serial killer, particularly of children. Alucard is drifting into a state of consciousness not unlike his father before he met Lisa, but potentially in a worse place since he’s witnessed and felt true kindness, but has retreated away from it even so due to the betrayal he’s suffered at an already-fragile time for him. Isaac has to reconsider what he’s going to do once he has his proper army, and even if it’s worth it to get his revenge or to carry out Dracula’s original plans. Saint Germain.. I mean, he’s in psychodelic hell searching for that person and presumably a way out, I assume it’s tragic. Hector’s learned a hard lesson in trusting and is going to have to figure out if his freedom is worth risking pain or death. Likewise I think the characters grow this way. Even if it was a happy ending, or an ending where everyone “wins” some small victory somehow, I think it’d ultimately have been worthless if nobody was fundamentally changed by the end of the season.

Things I didn’t like - The sex scenes. I’ve seen a lot of people like “If you’re gonna put in gratuitous sex then actually include Trevor and Sypha??” and I’m gonna have to disagree with that. While I love the ship and all, I’d like to give the benefit of the doubt and say sex scenes weren’t thrown around randomly or just to flex the rating - they were only tied to actual story, hence why I’m down with the bedroom stuff of the show’s main ship only being alluded to. However, I gotta say that the long broken-up sex scenes mixed with battle/action was not the way to do that. I think I know what they were going for (it definitely drove my anxiety up having those scenes back to back with intense action/violence, I can tell ya that!), but it just wasn’t a good idea. Yes, they were obviously made to be uncomfortable (particularly since I’m pretty sure one of them was dubious consent at best?) but that was reflected well just in a few key frames/actions - it didn’t need to be drawn out and mixed with the action. It made me want to skip through (I didn’t out of fear I’d miss battles, which isn’t really good design) and I’d like to bet parts of the finale are unwatchable for some. For the record, yes you could say “well they got into an adult-rated show, deal with it,” but the fact of the matter is up until now sexual violence/discomfort wasn’t heavy-handed and in-your-face like this. Non-sexual violence was definitely all over the whole series, but it’s still a bit like whiplash considering. Also, the fact people think the scene with Alucard was at all chill. I see it from a story standpoint (though I honestly think their motivations were weak and there’s other ways to betray someone/get their guard down), but I think the people going on about “power bottom” and this and that are forgetting that the absence of a no is not a yes, particularly with someone severely emotionally damaged after spending months alone not only without a support group but without any contact, immediately following the death of his father by his own hands. I’m no expert but I don’t think that’s someone in the proper state of mind to consent to anything sexual, even if there were a couple weeks or whatever of spending time with these new friends. He very well might’ve been on the way to a stress disorder before they turned his world upside-down and frankly I’m wondering how he’s going to be faring come the next season (assuming there is one.) That’s more of a fandom gripe than the show itself I suppose but it’s worth a mention. - The pacing. It’s hard to pinpoint it, but something about it felt off, especially in the first half. The best way I can describe it is when you pump the gas and brakes because your brakes aren’t working great and you’re loosening them up - maybe it was necessary to get things going, but it’s a bit destabilizing/odd for anyone in the car. I think it’s what contributed to that stunted sense I got until things picked up a little more. You can see it more in just how packed with stuff the latter half is, some things which could’ve been planned a bit better through the whole season. - Sumi and Taka. I honestly felt that they wanted to get in a way to have a punch-in-the-gut arc with Alucard (not a bad idea, I am one for tragedy), wanted to kill off some characters who were actually important, and decided to do these both with one stone. I don’t think they were successful on the second part, because these two absolutely contributed to the stunted feeling I had about some of the season. They had a good start in terms of backstory, and the idea of two people working together to fight vampires without having some big legend tied to their name to drive it (e.g. Speaker magicians, Belmont legacy, Alucard’s heritage), as well as a connection to/fleshing out of one of the nameless generals, sounded like a great concept. A great concept, but it was rushed I felt, to the point that their motivations for turning on him were so packed and squished in they just weren’t believable if we’re supposed to believe these two were sane. They had some sort of mental/trust issues due to their backstory - that’s fine, and could contribute some emotional problems. However if their distrust in Alucard had been given more time to fester and grow, more little comments of Alucard’s brushing off their attempts to learn about specific things, and more cues from him that could be misinterpreted by them as him causing trouble and lying (not just them not believing him by itself), it would be more believable that the past and misinterpretations of the present get into their head and poison their thoughts of him. You can plant a seed of doubt but just like any other character bonds, it has to be given time to grow. Alucard’s rapid bonding with them could be attributed to his loneliness, trauma, and need for a support system, but you can’t make that excuse for Sumi and Taka’s motivations going from “Hm.. I wonder what he isn’t telling us” to “We need to emotionally gut him and then kill him” basically overnight. Edit:

I forgot to add a conclusion last night, so I guess the TL;DR is season 3’s a good 7.5/10 for me, -1 for the overall pacing, -1 for missing a bit of the punch from before, and -0.5 because the last few episodes jumped me with a bat and I let it happen.

#i'm probably gonna regret this tomorrow but here are my just-got-gutted-by-that-season thoughts #castlevania #season 3 spoilers #castlevania season 3 #ooc #tw dubcon #tw violence

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morgandria · 4 years ago

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Been a while since I felt like writing. August is gone, and I’m a little older, the same as every August. The world is slowly going gold and bronze in its’ green. The night comes sooner. I bask in quiet twilight and the sound of the crickets - I am a crepuscular creature by nature. Summer has of course not relinquished its’ grasp quite yet, but that time approaches. I find myself wanting to fix the gold and greens in my head against the long stretches of grey and white to come.

Our landlords had the toilet replaced (a joy, after all the misery from that bathroom over the years) and the kitchen painted and have started some other work outside. I got to pick the paint colour, a lightly yellow-tinted white for some warmth. It was messy, but thankfully brief, and I do actually appreciate that they’re improving the house and doing it both well and thoroughly. (It also helps that they hired one of our out-of-work friends to come in and do it - it’s much less anxiety when you know and trust the person who comes in everyday.)

I’ve tried washing my walls & trim a couple times over the years, and whatever paint was used previously just absorbed everything - water, cleaner, all of it - and nothing came clean. I don’t like how 15 years of incense smoke and candle soot has darkened that nasty old paint, either - it always makes me feel like I’ve failed at keeping the house properly clean. But I would not have trusted the previous landlord to buy a decent paint, and it was never even a thought in his head. Our new landlords are a vast improvement in the department of maintenance.

Healthwise, things are mixed. (TMI warning, folks!) All the stress in the spring made my eczema explode on my hands, but it’s getting better. My feet are good (which I put down to my chiropodist being magical) - my scar still cracks and bleeds on my heel, but I believe it always will, and he has improved it out of sight from the condition my previous chiropodist had it in.

I’m on a new non-insulin injectable that has finally brought my blood sugar down sharply to where they’d like them to be. It works well, but it has side effects. One is that it reduces appetite. Mine’s already very low thanks to my gastroparesis, so some days I don’t want to eat. Some days I outright can’t - it literally sticks in my throat until it comes back up. I am starting to wonder if the increase in back pain is also the injectible - it can have effects on the pancreas and kidneys, and if that’s going on I might need to stop taking it. I’m hoping I can manage to get on with it, tho - I will put up with a bit of pain and fuss if it keeps me from having to inject insulin with every meal. It’s very hard to manage that with gastroparesis, apparently.

I’ve lost a little weight, but I think I’m also not getting what I need from my diet. I may be anemic again - I’m very pale, even for me, and I’m turning blue around my lips again at times. I am short of breath, and an afternoon nap is not negotiable a lot of the time. And I’m losing more hair than I should when I wash it, or brush it. I need to get my iron checked out.

Normally I hate having anything to do with my GP, but he’s also made some changes to both my stomach meds in the last few months (cut them in half) without consulting me or telling me why. I need to ask about that. Since that new injectable has made some serious impacts on my GI tract (other side effects include constipation, nausea, pain, vomiting) having the med that helps prevent those exact symptoms from my other pre-existing condition cut in half isn’t optimal. I am having more reflux. I have a lot more stomach pain. My stomach is not emptying well, and my guts have slowed to a crawl. More recently I’ve started throwing up again, since I’m so nauseated in the mornings when there’s nothing in my system. So I guess I’ll be wrangling with the GP’s office shortly. :\

Not much else going on. It feels quiet and calm. We do our best to keep our heads down, with the way of the world. I have incense again, which improves my mood immensely. The weather is starting to break away from hot and humid, and we’re getting longer stretches of cooler air and wind. It’s nice. I owe some good folks a package very soon, but I’m so leery of sending mail across the border right now - the delays are wild. (That, and I keep finding more things I want to put in it, which keeps bumping up the size of the thing...and some of those things aren’t even made yet. LOL I’m terrible!) My website needs renewal fees paid soon, which I need to not forget. (And if you’re so inclined, a purchase from Witchs’ Cauldron Creations would help me pay those fees!)

It’s such a f’ed up year. 2020 feels like crawling, and also like it’s galloping madly away, and where the hell has it all gone, and is still too goddamn long and needs to go away faster. (But only if it promises to make 2021 a better year than it!) Such madness. All you can do is hope. And I hope everything is good wherever you’re at - or will be, by the end of it all. Be kind to each other, and be well.

#personal #blather #i feel like this summer's motto was Hasten Slowly #we did nothing and it's still gone and how the hell did it get away so fast and so slow at the same time?

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jawnjendes · 6 years ago

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no medicine is strong enough | shawn mendes

university au, shawn x goth gf

AN: a continuation of it came back for more. a bit angsty. a bit real for me. enjoy.

masterlist | series playlist

“I told you not to go to class!” Stella snapped at me.

I had only taken one step inside my dorm, and I was composing myself. The pain in my abdomen hadn’t subsided in the last few days, even with the help of antibiotics. I had been hoping to keep this little health issue from Stella until finals were over, but Shawn took the liberty of texting her what had happened last weekend after the movie. That prompted Stella to put me on strict bedrest, but I didn’t listen. There were other things to worry about, like my job that was ending soon and, as I said before, finals.

“It’s exam season, dude,” I justified, slowly settling myself on the couch. I was winded after walking across campus, struggling to catch my breath. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t lean against the wall in the hallway on the way here.

“You can make up for those!” she told me as she reached over to feel my forehead. “You’re really warm! You have a fever! Again!”

So it wasn’t just pain. It was fatigue I had never felt before, a fever every so often, and a severe lack of appetite. On the TMI side, it was vomiting (though there was hardly anything in my stomach) and odd bowel movements. Oh, and I got chills from the walk back from my stats final.

Stella grabbed me a blanket and made me some chamomile tea. I couldn’t hold it down.

Don’t get me wrong, when this started happening, I went to the doctor. But I only went because when I met Shawn’s mother, Karen, she insisted and all but threatened to drag me out the door by my ankles. Anyway, I had a case of diverticulitis, an infection in my large intestine. The doctor prescribed some antibiotics to kill the infection and sent me home. Simple as that.

Let me just say, those antibiotics did fuck all. It was a miracle I was able to function, although yesterday Stacy sent me home about thirty minutes into my shift. I also missed the classes leading up to finals, and I almost opted out of taking my finals altogether. To say I wasn’t worried would be a lie.

I stayed in the bathroom for the remainder of the day. I was on the floor in front of the toilet, wrapped up in a fluffy grey blanket, shivering so much my jaw was chattering. My phone had been going off since I got home, and I could only assume it was Shawn. Stella probably told him I went to class and now he was lecturing me over text. I felt too tired to grab the stupid device and read tiny words on the stupid screen.

Out in the living room, Stella was on the phone. She was speaking clearly, but I couldn’t process any of her words. This stuff wasn’t new for me, apart from some of the symptoms, there wasn’t need for panic. I could sleep on the floor again, it’s fine…

“She’s literally sleeping in the bathroom!” Stella’s frantic voice said. “She still has a fever and she can’t hold down liquids! I don’t know what to do anymore!”

I tried to stand so I could reassure her that it was just another bad flare up, but the sharp pain in my stomach caused me to hunch over and cry out. “Ow! Fuck!”

Stella was at the doorway in a flash, phone still pressed to her ear. “What is it? What hurts?”

My arm went across my middle, and I focused on the pain. It was the left side of my abdomen, that’s where the doctor said this kind of pain occurs. I tried shifting my position, just as a last minute attempt to see if it was a nasty cramp. The pain remained constant, and it was really starting to annoy me. I wanted to puke and shit myself all over again.

The only noises I could hear were my own agonizing groans and Stella babbling on the phone. She was still at the doorway, watching me lean over the toilet. Finally, she hung up and went to my side.

“Shawn is coming over,” she said, “he’s gonna take you to the hospital.”

I’ve gone to the doctor way too many times for someone my age. I’ve sat in LabCorp waiting rooms at the asscrack of dawn to get my blood drawn at least five times in a month. I knew the paperwork that was required for a CT scan or MRI like the back of my hand; The receptionist at the imaging place back home in California knew me by name. I have never been admitted to the hospital, ever. I was never so sick that it required a visit to the emergency room, where Shawn had driven me today.

He had to carry me into the ER. It’s not that I couldn’t walk, he just didn’t want me to. I didn’t argue, I felt weak enough as it is.

A nurse approached us while I was still in his arms, but I couldn’t make out any words being said. The pain wasn’t a sound, but it was all I could focus on, I just wanted to be free of it already.

Shawn was instructed to place me on a gurney that came out of nowhere, and then I was surrounded by two nurses in green scrubs and a doctor in red. My eyes searched around for my boyfriend, who seemed to disappear as soon as I was let go. The medics were talking to one another, shooting hospital lingo I couldn’t understand even though I watched way too much Grey’s Anatomy.

The doctor in red touched my stomach with firm fingers, and it made me cry out and sob.

“I’m sorry dear, I know it hurts,” he said. He was an older man. I tried to connect him to one of the doctors on Grey’s for my own sanity. My mind was blank. “We’re going to help you, alright?”

“You!” one of the nurses, a tall blonde lady, pointed to Shawn, who had backed up against the wall. “What other symptoms has she had?”

I turned my head to properly look at him; He looked just as scared, but he spoke to the nurse. I decided to close my eyes and not let anyone else see my fear. I listened to the footsteps surrounding me, but it only made my heart pound and more tears pricked the corners of my eyes. I tried whispering my calming mantras but instead, some stupid song lyrics came out of my mouth.

“When everything you know has come and gone… you’re at your lowest, I am rising higher…”

My hand balled into a fist as a needle was inserted into my arm. An IV, probably. I could barely hear Shawn’s voice over the commotion in the ER. Must have been a busy day.

“Only scars remain of who I was… what I find in the ashes, you lose in the fire…” I whispered, my voice shaking.

The gurney moved in a certain direction, hitting a bump on the floor, and I cried out again. The nurses profusely apologized and then informed me that I was going to get a CT scan. But first, morphine.

By the time I was lying outside the giant scanning machine, my dark clothes swapped for a grey hospital gown, my veins were filled with the happy shit. The pain was gone, and I was feeling too good. I never had a scan like this. Usually, I was told to drink some gross contrast and then they would inject me with more of it. I always had an anxiety attack in the middle of CT scans, but this one was different.

“I know how this works, Susan,” I said to the technician, who was changing the IV bag I was hooked up to. “Arms up, pics without contrast, and pics after you hook me up with contrast. Then I go radioactive for like ten seconds and I feel like I’ve wet myself. Am I right, Susan?”

“This isn’t your first rodeo, I take it,” the tech replied. “And my name is Chad.”

After the scan, I was sent to a bed in the emergency room. The same tall, blonde nurse brought Shawn back to me and informed us both that my scan results would be back within the hour. Then she closed the curtain around the bed to give us privacy.

Shawn had a clipboard in his hand, which I figured was for me. However, he just stood at the foot of my bed and stared at me. I usually would internally cringe at his gaze, but instead I smiled and waved.

He returned the smile weakly and went to the chair next to me. Then he handed me the clipboard. “I tried to fill out what I could, but… I realized I don’t even know your birthday, much less your medical history. Here.”

“Thank you, my angel,” I told him.

“They gave you something for the pain, eh?” he guessed.

I scribbled on the board, answering all the questions and putting down my information. I wasn’t completely out of it, I was just talking more than necessary. More than I normally would.

“Oh, I’m feeling good,” I said. “Nothing hurts, and that took away my fear. I was afraid I was gonna die. Like, I’m really afraid of dying.” I chuckled.

Shawn didn’t have anything to say to that. He had his eyebrows raised in shock, but he stayed quiet.

“Just don’t tell anyone,” I warned, signing my name on the forms with a loud scribble, “I have a reputation to keep up.”

I put the clipboard aside and looked at my boyfriend. Worry lines were on his forehead, and I just wanted to kiss them away.

“You’re so pretty it’s unreal,” I said in a dreamy tone.

“Aw, thank you honey.” He smiled, but there was still concern in his eyes. “You’re pretty too.”

“I know, thank you. Can you hand me my wallet, sweet boy?”

“Keep giving me cute nicknames and I’ll do whatever you want.”

My unusual affection seemed to cheer him up. Over the next hour, I gave Shawn just about every cheesy pet name in the book. Baby boy, my love, my dear, darling, sweetheart. He savoured every moment of my drugged up ass.

“Let me hold you bubby!” I whined. “Lay on top of me!”

“I can’t do that, baby,” he told me. “Just tell me how much you love me instead.”

I clumsily patted his big tattooed hand. “I can’t do that. The universe will hear about my happiness and take it away from me.”

“The universe will never know,” he reassured, taking my hand in both of his.

“It already does. When we wrote the prettiest song in the world, I let myself be happy. Now, I’m in the ER with some real gnarly abdominal pain.”

Shawn had a thoughtful look on his face. I noticed his eyes fall a little, like he was sad. “Those two things are unrelated, baby.”

“Mm, but the timing was suspeeshy. I overcome my craziness, and I let someone love me, and boom. We’re in a large room full of the sick and injured.”

“Hey, you just have some tummy pain. They’re probably gonna give you more antibiotics and we’ll be on our way.”

I quickly shushed him. “The universe will hear you!”

And it did. The man doctor in red scrubs opened my curtain a few minutes later.

“Hi, Dr. Susan!” I greeted.

“It’s Dr. Buchanan,” he corrected with a smile. He quickly turned serious. “So, your case of diverticulitis has worsened compared to your last scan. We have to go in and remove the infected portion of your bowel.”

“Fun!” I sarcastically replied.

Shawn squeezed my hand so tightly that I gave him a look. He was staring at Dr. Susan, wide eyed. He was never this quiet.

“It’ll be a minimally invasive surgery,” the doctor continued. “It’s only a small part of your large intestine that has to be taken out. You’ll be in and out of the OR between one and four hours. But you will be admitted for at least a week. We are going to move you to a room, so I would suggest calling whoever else you need to call. Work, I’m assuming?”

“Just be real with me, Doctor Susan,” I said, leaning forward, “because I’m scared, and my sexy ass boyfriend is too. Am I gonna mcfreakin die?”

He chuckled. “You will not mcfreakin die. You’re in good hands here.”

I nodded and did the surfer dude sign with my free hand. “Awesome.” Then I looked at my eerily silent but gorgeous mans. “Babey, I need you to call Stella for me. I want my Switch.”

Shawn blinked a few times, and then he kissed my hand. “Okay, honey.”

After referring to every nurse as “Susan,” singing Evanescence in the elevator, and yelling “Whee!” as I was pushed to my room, I was finally processing the gravity of the situation. My bowel hates me so much that some of it needs to be removed. I was going to be in the hospital for a week, and I was going to recover for at least four more. I couldn’t eat for the next twenty four hours. I was going to be on a liquid diet. I was going to be open on a table.

Not to mention, Stella was practically in hysterics by the time she got to the hospital. She packed a bag of my bathroom necessities, my medications, my laptop, and my Switch. She also reminded me that we had to be moved out of our dorm by the end of next week. The semester was rapidly drawing to a close, and I was looking at homelessness.

“That’s not true,” Shawn told me before I could panic. “You’re staying at my place. We’ll move all your stuff there.”

I couldn’t argue because I had no other option.

Anyway, I had to email two of my professors and ask to take my finals on a different day. “Dear Professor, please change my final day because I’m having a bowel resection at the ripe age of 21.” Okay, I didn’t type it like that, but I wanted to.

After that, I had to call Stacy and let her know I would not be going into work today, although it was well over an hour after my shift would have started. I explained the situation to her and told her I would be out for at least two weeks. Then she reminded me that my contract with the dealership was almost up… because I was supposed to be going home to California very soon. I had to beg her to keep me hired. Why? Insurance. I hate being an adult.

Shawn eventually stepped out of the room to call his work, and then his parents. I hadn’t met his father or sister, but now I probably had to in this condition. Everything felt really, really messed up.

“What about your parents?” Stella asked me. “Have you called them?”

“I will,” I replied, scrolling through my contacts on my phone. “After I’m discharged.”

Stella placed her tiny hand on my arm, making me look at her. “Look, I don’t know what kinda beef you got going on with your folks, but they have to know about this.”

“They will know about this.”

“I mean right now. You should call them.”

I sighed. “I hear you. I know it’s important. But I met Shawn’s mother while I was recovering from a sick day. Instead of getting to know her and trying to make a good impression, she was taking my temperature and making me go to the doctor. And now I’m gonna meet the rest of his family while I’m high on morphine. I can’t control that because it’s his family, but I can control when he meets mine. And it’s not gonna be like this.”

Stella nodded as she listened. Then, she snapped, “Call your fucking parents.”

“I’m going to!” I shot back. “At a later time!”

We would have argued more, but Shawn entered the room. He didn’t say anything at first, which was odd. He sat at the foot of my bed, flipping his phone over in his hands.

“My mom is on her way,” he said at last.

“Cool,” I replied, keeping the reluctance out of my voice. Then I grabbed my Switch from the side table and occupied myself with Tetris 99.

“Your girlfriend is refusing to call her parents,” Stella told him. “Don’t you think they should know about this?”

I rolled my eyes, but I stayed quiet.

“Uh, yeah,” Shawn agreed. “Babe, why won’t you call them?”

“I’ll do it after I’m discharged,” I said, getting even more annoyed. “They’re my parents, I decide when to tell them.”

Stella scoffed and got up from her chair. She was very personally offended about what I do with my family, and I wasn’t sure why. Maybe she has parents who don’t question everything she does, so it was easy to talk about things. Must be nice.

“Y’know,” Shawn said after a while, “if this was happening to me, I would want both my parents here with me.”

He wasn’t wrong. It’s not that I wasn’t scared. He already knew I was scared.

“Look, I know it’s bad, but at least I’m here,” I told him, keeping my eyes on the game I was playing. “I’m getting treated, and I’m getting surgery. I made an adult decision-”

“I did. I’m the one who brought you here. Two hours ago, you said you were afraid of dying. I’m here for you through all of this, but you need your parents here.”

Morphine clearly wasn’t my friend anymore. It was that fake friend you thought you could open up to, but they just betray you and expose all your secrets. I wanted to take back everything I said in the middle of my high. Every secret, every term of endearment. He knew too much.

Finally, I put down my Switch and picked up my phone. I dialed my father’s cell, my heart pounding and my throat burning. None of this was supposed to happen this way.

Voicemail.

“Hi, leave me a message, I’ll call you back… in two weeks, because my wife and I are currently cruising the Caribbean! Bye!”

I scoffed. “Of course. They don’t have their phones on them.”

“Good excuse for now,” Stella said with a snark in her tone.

For once, I didn’t feel like talking back. I stared at the beige blanket covering my lap. I looked at the paper bracelets around my wrist and the IV stuck in my arm. Why did this happen to me?

Stella was so fed up she actually left. She grabbed her purse and left, but not before saying she would be back tomorrow for my surgery. That left me, Shawn, and the mess of emotions I was struggling to keep in.

“Hey,” Shawn said gently, scooting closer to me. “What is it?”

Tears were building up inside of me. The morphine was threatening to expose even more things I didn’t want to say out loud.

I cleared my throat. “Nothing. Things could be worse, right?”

“That doesn’t change what’s happening to you. Whatever you’re feeling, it’s okay. Here, scoot over.”

I moved to the side so Shawn could sit next to me. He put his arm around me and pulled me into his side. Part of me wanted to push him away, because I was very close to letting myself wallow, and affection would only make it worse. But also… I wanted someone to hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay. That was all I wanted every time I spent the night alone in the bathroom. I pushed everyone away because I didn’t want anyone to see me like that. But Shawn remained persistent. He let me stay with him when all this started, and he was willing to let me stay with him when I recover.

“When I get sick,” I told him, my voice soft and shaky, “I get a lot of anxiety. I wonder what I ate, what I didn’t eat, what I should have ate…” I paused, attempting to hold it together.

Shawn squeezed my shoulders. “I got you, it’s okay.”

My voice started to break. “I changed… I changed so much of my life so it worked around this sickness. I changed my diet, I didn’t go to college right away, I stayed home because I didn’t want to be sick anywhere else. I was so afraid of eating the wrong thing that just eating gave me anxiety. My mind and my body became my worst enemy.” Heavy tears spilled out of my eyes and I suppressed a sob.

He rubbed my back and stayed quiet. I couldn’t look at him.

“I’ve taken every tea, every vitamin, every medicine. Nothing is strong enough. I do everything I can to stay healthy and… here I a-a-am…” I hunched over and lost control of my sobbing. My mind was spiraling quickly, but I couldn’t form another coherent sentence if I tried. I just wanted to jump out of my skin, I just wanted this to be over. I wanted to be okay again.

“I know, I know it’s hard,” Shawn soothed, scooping me into his arms. His head lied on mine, and he rubbed my back, slowly rocking me from side to side. “It’s okay, honey. You’ll be okay.”

“I’m too young to be like this,” I whispered through my ugly cries. “I-I-I keep thinking I’ll die in my sleep.”

“Hey, no. You’re not dying. But you’re right, you’re so young, and it’s not fair that this is happening. But you’ll be okay. You’ll survive this. You’re a strong lady, remember?”

My chest ached. I never thought Shawn heard my calming mantras. I sniffed and wiped my nose with the back of my hand. “I-I’m a strong lady…”

I’m a strong lady.

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes smut #fourtristattoosspring #shawn x goth gf #this was therapeutic for me #so tbh i dont rly care if ppl read it or not #i needed to get some feelings out

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ijustcantwaittobeme · 5 years ago

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Continuation

*waves* Hey! So I’m putting a lot of this under a keep reading tab (just to save your dashboards some room if I can!) but I just wanted to say thank you and also share something with you guys.

[And also share this; it’s more of a personal thank you post - I realized I was going on way too long in this one so without further ado... https://ijustcantwaittobeme.tumblr.com/private/187270911329/tumblr_orsu9dpqCBn8GDebG ]

Long-winded message and posts here but for a good TLDR; The image is based off of @homeboundrunnerfive icon which is the Beacon from Abel and a lot of ramblings here to simply say; Thank you for being who you are and for also just being a wonderful group and community. You are awesome, and bring a lot to the world. I’m very glad and happy to be here and with you all. I ramble a lot but I feel very lucky. ^_^ I know I explain what some of this already in the keep reading section but just - thank you for doing what you do and for being here. And to end on a personal note before the keep reading section starts... thank you for being a Beacon of Hope in some way or form to me and to others here. My photo and creation seriously do not do any of you justice but ... thank you. <3

I do want to explain this a bit more but it felt like I was making the post ridiculously long -- scratch that - it is really long. I just - I don’t know to explain or start this off exactly, and where it’s not treading into something that’s TMI or feels like personal landmines for any of you. I’m not very graceful at this but if you can bear with me I do appreciate it. So it’s - it’s a bit fair to say that health has really bogged me down this year. I am recovering and have been getting better from the little hiccups throughout but things were taking a toll on me and I wish it hadn’t. I do realize that life itself isn’t always positive or uplifting which is okay, but even in accepting this, I haven’t exactly felt very good about my own personal approach to things in my acceptance or viewpoint in dealing with the stuff that’s hit harder and has taken a toll. And all that means is just that there have been several moments that made me feel ...well ... there’s not a good way around it. I haven’t felt worth much of anything in these exact points and moments in life. I know that’s a combination of just not knowing how to handle some stresses , not being able to cope and have better grounding techniques for my anxiety disorder, as well as dealing with the new health conflicts and overcoming them. (Also accepting that health was going to keep drag me for a bit. And it has and now it’s not and I’m thankful for that.) ...I’ve gotten so off the point already but I just wanted to give insight to how this started.

So along with healing up and processing some of this, I’ve had an idea come up and I’ve been slow to executing it but it’s at least here and happening. It’s not a big thing but it’s been helpful and since it’s part of ZR and the community here -- I wanted to share what this idea has been. I know I’m rambling too much for this, but the idea has been to create a specific little positive corner; a small shelf to see everyday that’s positive or at the very least hopeful, which includes from time to time cool and lovely little reminders. What you don’t see (because I’m still working on it ^^’) is I’m also adding a lot of ZR stuff - including beautiful artwork some of you have made for me and hopefully my one and only VR stuff that I’ve *so far!* from last Halloween’s ZR thing. Anyway, the hope has been to get this going then add a few little extra things to make it feel more wholesome but the lights and the project there has been the important thing. That’s where this started and it came from here in the community. I wanted to reflect it if I could then reblogging one of @homeboundrunnerfive post I remembered the icon they have and it clicked. Everyone here and the community itself is like this, kind of like a beacon, the same symbol similar to a certain message and moment from a very heartfelt thing in S1. This is my first attempt with fairy lights by the way so I hope that the messiness can be overlooked. I know it’s messed up. ^^’ The concept worked out better than I thought, at least in how I’m able to put it together but I definitely messed up on aligning the lights properly so lesson learned for sure. I do plan on remedying that as soon as I can though. ^_^ I didn’t want to share it until I got it looking better and more Beacon-like but after seeing the really wonderful messages and getting to be back here and feel better after so much hell with health,,, I know it may not be perfect just yet, but this feels like it is the perfect time to share it or at least share with you all just how much light you bring to others. I know i am rambled so much here. I will work on that but just know the love and gratitude is there and while this isn’t a perfect Beacon, I hope you guys don’t mind me sharing it along with the thank you post that I wanted to write last night and couldn’t get words to work well.

#zr community and fandom #thank you zr communuty #zr #zombies run #sort of personal drabble #trying to make it community based while also saying thank you #i hope the link idea works out - I haven't tried it before so I'm kind of lost there #i promise this is my last spiel for a bit - but these posts and comments and messages from you all have brought a lot to my heart #starting tomorrow I'll be back to checking out what all you guys are up to if not by tonight!#it just depends if this beacon video clip will ever load or not but - you guys are awesome - hope the weekend is kind to you all #and i'm rambling in the tags but thanks for letting me be here

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whistlewhileiblogit · 6 years ago

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Red Flags/Gut Instincts

Here I go, ranting again.

But if you meet someone, anyone, and you get a funny feeling from them?

Go with your gut.

If you have been getting to know someone for say, a few months, and they suddenly say something that seems alarming.

Go with your gut.

Even if you have known a person for years. Maybe in conversation they say something troubling like, "I want to test (friend/partner/whoever) to see how much they care", I can guarantee, you are better off breaking off a years-long friendship than enduring that sort of manipulative, abuse behaviour.

People may think that is cold. And maybe it is. But I have seen and experienced people showing red flag after red flag and ignored it. And guess what? It never works out in the end.

That girl you think is kinda cute admits she wants someone that will completely dote on her, but she refuses to do the same to her partner?

That guy you like gives you a sob story about all his "crazy" exes?

The friend you have had for fourteen years doesn't listen to you when you try to explain your personal grievances to them?

DITCH THEIR ASSES.

I promise you, red flags are always real. If you get alarm bells going off for any reason, trust your instincts.

Trust them, because I wish I had.

I know what it's like to have blind faith in people. I did for most off my life. Someone every now and then might have said "hey, so and so is a bit of an asshole, Rom, Dick and Harry have all said so" and I'd be confused and wonder why they'd think that. Because so and so was always nice to me, they didn't seem like the type of person to be an asshole right?

I could give example after example, but I will give a true, personal, and probably tmi story.

So I'd been seeing this guy for a short while. And already we both were super into each other. We had spent almost every day together, literally staying awake all night to go on night rides and "aventures" (at least they were to me). I looked at this guy, this gorgeous guy, and I thought he was perfect. Perfect for me. He treated me so well. Better than anyone had before. And he was genuine, and honest. And he actually seemed to really like me. On these night drives, we'd talk about everything, and I mean everything. Stupid stuff, our interests, deep 'n meaningful things...things neither of us shared with anyone else. We'd jam out to music (particularly our shared interest in early 2000's "emo" music), and I'd laugh as he'd put on some heavy metal and headbang. We would often park near a beach or wharf, and we'd hang around there throwing rocks in the water, chatting some more, and sometimes he would pull his guitar out from the boot of his car and play music for me. More than once he did this while we sat in the back of his car and watched the sunrise together.

I felt like I was in a movie. It was so perfect. Too perfect, yet I never once bat an eye.

Until I got what I realised was my first major red flag.

So, now comes the tmi part. But I swear, it's necessary for the story.

So once night we were parked somewhere in his car again, just hanging as usual. Now, before this night, we hadn't done...well, anything save for giving each other hickeys one night. But oddly enough we hadn't even actually kissed yet. (both very shy)

Anyway so this night he finally kissed me, which was a big deal for both of us but especially for him because he'd never made the first move on anyone before (or so he told me, I can't actually confirm). And long story short...we had sex.

To clarify, this was a massive deal for me, (and supposedly him too but again, can't confirm) because I am very...picky when it comes to who I sleep with. Idc if people choose to sleep with loads of people but I personally can only ever sleep with someone I really, truly care about. So this is my long winded way of saying that I cared about this dude...a lot. And again, I believed he felt the same way. But I was especially nervous, because it had been only a few weeks. I'd usually wait much longer.

Anyway, so after that night, everything kept going fine...until a few weeks later, and surprise surprise, we were having sex again. And he suddenly stopped and said, "hey...you don't think I'm jist using you for sex, right?"

I was stunned. Where the fuck had that come from? My first reaction was, "what the fuck? No? Why would I think that?" to which he replied, "I've just had someone accuse me of that in the past." and I sorta went, "Oh okay...well I don't think that" and that seemed to settle his concerns.

And this was where I genuinely felt my first red flag pop up. A little voice in the back of my head was telling me something wasn't right about that. Why would he think that I thought that? And why bring it up and such an...inopportune time?

But, stupid, heart-eyed me just shrugged it off. I suppose I figured it was his anxiety, or insecurities showing or something.

But here's the kicker; four months down the line he suddenly didn't want to see me anymore because he "wasn't ready for a relationship". But we stayed friends (keeping in mind there was still flirting and light sexting going on in this time) because I stupidly thought that maybe down the line somewhere, he might be ready. And even if he wasn't, I didn't want to lose such a great guy as my friend. I just wanted him.to be happy, after all. A few months after that? He sent me snapchats of his new girl IN HIS BED POST...ugh. You could imagine.

Anyway, I don't tell this to get pity or whatever. But take it as a cautionary tale, if you will. If I had been smart, and listened to my gut, not my heart or my pussy (graphic but true), I wouldn't have had my heart broken. I may have been bummed out that things didn't work out with the hot guy I really liked... But I wouldn't have gotten nearly as messed up as I am now.

And honestly? I'd be lying if I said I didn't still have feelings for him. All this messed up shit, and I can't even bring myself to be proper angry with him...because of my feelings.

But if I can prevent anyone from taking a stupid risk like I did? Then maybe it'll be worth the hurt.

I mean it; the SECOND you have a friend, colleague, partner...who the fuck ever- give you red flags or bad vibes... Just do yourself a favour and avoid contact if you can. We have these instincts for a reason, and so many of us choose to ignore them just to give someone the benefit of the doubt, but is it really worth it?

If you think someone you met at a bar is creepy and you don't want to be alone with them? Don't be out of politeness.

Who knows? Creepy Gary from the bar might actually be the loveliest man you've ever met, but is it worth running the risk that your gut is screaming "something isn't right with this guy!"

I'd much rather be a little embarrassed over getting a judgement wrong rather than ignoring my judgement and getting hurt.

And let's be real; how often are your instincts wrong?

#red flags #sex mention I guess #about me #personal #instincts #rant #long post #apparently I only can write posts that are long now lol sorry #manipulation #lies #abuse #heartbreak #I am a dumbass #true story

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habstein · 6 years ago

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A unit of time and space

Hello. Hello friends who nicely keep track on me. Hello strangers who bump into me in the vastness of this interweb and decide to stick around to see how I stumble through this existence of mine.

I’ve been doing great, thanks for asking. Better than ever before. I’ve never felt so free and happy in my entire life. Normally whenever I’m happy, imma be worried that sth bad is gonna happen to balance out the goodness, but this time i’m not.

I’ve found a person that makes me feel the good kinda green. In vietnamese, we have this word - dễ chịu - it’s my favorite word. I think it means “pleasant” or “comfortable�� in english. It’s the feeling you get when you let yourself relax on your favorite sofa, when you take a hot bath after a long and tiring day, or when you curl up like a bun under a warm and soft blanket with the winter winds howling outside your window. That’s what I feel when I’m with her. Extremely dễ chịu 🥰

I don’t know when and how it began. We started out as such good friends. Caring and understanding, but with a distance. I was still hung up on a crush so I put up a shield and be straight up honest about it. She patiently waited. Till now I’m still so grateful that she waits, coz if she pushed me away when I told her to, I would never have this chance to know what a wonderful thing it is to be in love with her.

Did I just say .. love? I don’t do love. Love’s not my thing. I do observing, analyzing, overthinking.. I do sarcasm, humor, and sometimes fantasizing (ok, most of the time 🙄). But love? I don’t do love.

Do I .. ?

This feels .. uhm .. how to say it? Most of the time, it’s sweet, as the taste of a breakfast milk bun, you know, that type of bun that gives you energy to deal with sht that life throws at you but definitely not too sweet and not making you fat (just a bit chubby). I never like things that are too sweet. Yet sadly, I’m sweet, so maybe that’s why I don’t like me sometimes 😞. But because she and i, we get each other’s joke and our sarcasm is in tune, so yeah, sarcasm makes it sour. Sweet and sour, like a yummy tangerine ☺️ You know me and my tangerine theory.. If you don’t know about my tangerine theory, then maybe wait till another time, coz that’s also a good story. Remind me if you wanna hear it, just say “hab, what is it with you and tangerines?” 😂

But if it’s just sweet then it could just be friendship you might say? Welp, hab, buckle up for some facts. Statistics show that it’s not just sweet. It’s fcking blazing. Ok? It’s burning like wildfire and it makes you melt like the hot magic metal they use to forge the one true ring in the middle of mount doom. =.= . Like, you know that empty phrase about being “under one’s spell”. Guess who got shocked to the core after a kiss and absolutely forgot the whole kissing sequence just because she’s not in a position with control. [fcking embarrassing tbh =.=]. I didn’t know that someone can curse me with amnesia, I thought being forgetfulness is just my thing. Damn it, now that I know my mind went blank and forgot to hit record during that kiss I seriously doubt the rest of my reality. Have I also forgotten other important things???

Thank god it was just one kiss. The ones after that we make sure to make it memorable ☺️. And because I didn’t blank out, I can now describe in details how I feel when we touch, with her fingers in my hair and her breath on my skin. But I’m a decent person i’m not gonna ruin your scrolling ritual with my silly blabbering. So yes, you are saved from the tmi.

So.. now we’re a couple. Not many people know about it. It’s still taboo for girls to be together in my country. So we just hold hands and expect people to see us as friends. We don’t know what to do next, we just do and hope for the best. I know that I shouldn’t leave traces like this, that it’s careless. But at the end of the day, I’m hab, and hab is a species that leaves traces wherever hab goes, maybe coz hab has amnesia and just want to remember things.

And this is what hab wants to remember, a girl who loves hab, who is a total dork with the most ridiculous laugh and who is, until now, still refusing to tell hab her exact height just to make hab feel better about being a hobbit. Goddamnit I’m sure you’re just a bit taller than me. A bit, I repeat, a bit 😡😠😡 [martin freeman would totally understand my short-peeps-temper syndrome 😑]

This is a story of a nerdy kinda geek who falls for a geeky kinda nerd. We’re on this ship together and we’re figuring where it heads. It’d be more star trek than star wars coz trek has more adventuring. Pls don’t argue, i’m sure you’ll win coz i know i’m not THAT geeky.

Imma end this entry now. Till the next update my friends.

p/s: if you’re reading this my slightly taller companion, i wish i could say that i did this bit for science, or for frodo [like i usually do], but uhm, i did it for you •.• Merry Christmas darlinh! I can’t wait to see what comes next in the upcoming unit of time and space 💚

#hab’s bits #a day in december #a unit of time and space #darlinh #yup you has your own tag now #it’s 1.54am i gotta go sleep #or imma be racoon and not panda #see ya!#hab's bits

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