#a bit funny calling an iPhone old lol

[d8tl55c]

thoughts too strong for tags they have. breached containment

thoughtline A - cho = malware (op tag)?

antiviruses irl often misidentify benign actions as threats (ex. Windows Firewall always snarls at programs for trying to do an internet on their first try), so maybe the avast thing is just? the computer alerted by hostile action? and not an implication for stick figure programs or the noogai-hollowhead subtype as a whole-

however

i went back to analyze ava II jic

and it calls TCO a worm.

what's that again i asked wikipedia and it said they're these standalone programs (as opposed to viruses which tack their code onto host programs and hope to be interacted with) that replicate/travel quickly by slipping themselves through vulnerabilities in network connections. like if you were to. say. crack one open with your fist and hop through (ava V flashback). and worms can live on websites (sticksfight). and travel through shared folders between devices (or maybe a physical connection to an iphone via Apple Music/Dropbox) (ava IV). and emails (lush caves avm).

the stick figures are all totally worms lol

would you still love me if i was a worm O(-(

i dont know exactly where to take this information yet though. trying to work with it makes me feel. staticky.

other interesting thing i learned: the first recorded virus was this worm called The Creeper, and the first antivirus was The Reaper. but The Reaper was a virus too. designed specifically to remove The Creeper and nothing else. snickering in: this story sure sounds famil (III) iar and sometimes old antiviruses would detect and quarantine critical system files by accident therefore crippling the computer! autoimmune disease be upon ye! and microsoft defender allegedly did this once falsely attacking chrome on people's devices (competitor to internet explorer at the time) LOL- uh. those last 2 weren't ava related just silly stories

anyway

so why isn't orange detected by an antivirus if sticks are literally malware?? well having no idea how modern Windows Defender works (wikipedia tried its best again with another cool article abt the history of detecting viruses but all i fully grasped was there's a variety of ways to do it and there might be no way to account for all viruses ever in the future),,, my guess is that since orange wasn't attacking the devices themselves, and only moved through acceptable pathways (physical data cable to a phone has a lot of security permissions cleared), and never tried anything funny except for refusing to close... there was no reason to alert on him. compare that to cho who tried to (??? step on the power button? idk what effects that's supposed to have lol?? and) generally disrupt/destroy everything. obviously sus, this program is nonstandard and dangerous.

thoughtline B - omg internet/outernet

sHREEE?!?! i love that sketch of how they mesh together!! Internet as the 2D face of a 3D box is sooo cool.

my thinkings about it were a bit like that box... but with a million million uncountable cables branching off of the Internet face, weaving endlessly into the distance that makes up the mass of Websites and Desktops, a billion refreshes of about:blank filling in the crevices-

but then i remembered dark's portals do they. pierce through that cliff*? or do they teleport**?

in other words * is the WWW part of the internet like... UNDER the Outernet and the sky is made up of only the flat quilt of IP addresses of users?

or

** is it structured how i was thinkin? users and websites intertwined, and the portals link the ground level of the 3D space with the space beyond the 2D sky?

or something completely different?

and now for something completely different thoughtline C - multiple chos

unless we get more information about The Chosen One's mindset at the time, my hc is that "chosen ones" are, for whatever reason, so volatile upon launch that they were too difficult for anyone who discovered them to fight off. hence the "that's suicide!!" comment. they proceeded to burn every single PC they were spawned in, going down with the ship in the process.

since those animators would obviously never try that again and waste a computer, and knowledge of the software would be lost to time, no more TCOs were created.

therefore, they would all be extinct, except this one got lucky and managed to escape last second before the explosion.

rejecting and fulfilling its destiny

ranking TDLs and TCOs would make a good argument i think. i could swing either way > or <.

. .. . . . . .. im not sure there's much contest for TSCs, unless all of them are/would be like orange and lose points in "you can only do your stuff if things have gone maximum pear-shaped"

based on the previous post about tdls arc i rb'd and filled with my ramblings and ascii art i also just rb'd im going to continue my ramblings about the rules of code in ava

(with doodles!)

okay so. all we know right now is that all sticks to begin with have a script. and that it starts with their name and influences their destiny?/powers. its obviously notable with the hollowheads and also but im rambling on other sticks as well

i have lots of questions about how much code and programs work in the universe and influences everyone. the first obvious question is the coding of tdl with their command of destroying chosen. i adore the interpretation of it still affecting them in some way in the fandom !!!! however in canon it isnt elaborated upon. which begs the question of did it affect them? if it did, just how much did it affect them?? was any of this code left in their programming?? if it did affect them, how did they manage it??? have they tried to mess with their programming?? honestly, how did they start programming in the first place???? since they came directly from the pc, interacted with programs and the fact that code wouldve been useful in their terrors its not surprising for them at all to code by themselves, but no other hollowheads were shown to master it to a point of creating something — could it been the consequence of trying to remove their command? another question, if it was still somehow left in them, how did it affect them during showdown?

one of the interpretations of it that it's been "dormant" and that their need of destroying had shown itself in their seven year long reign of terror and why it was SO hard for them to back off. and that the showdown eventually made both dark and chosen to go "back to their roots". but since the command was targeted on chosen specifically i believe that if thats were the case the need to destroy wouldve been expressed to him and not to the whole web (god all this stuff opens so many ideas for them)

my second big wonder that i have is about the creation of chosen himself. as i mentioned in my rb all hollowheads attacked only when they felt threatened or had a command ingrained into them like with dark. except chosen

he attacked the second that he was born without being threatened. just by getting his name. (its also interesting to note the names noogai considered before bringing him to life – again victim, killer and BEAST. did any of that influence chosen too?). in the instant messenger conversation programmer021 mentioned stickmen having levels which i believe is most widely interpreted in a non literal sense, just in the "how powerful is he" way. but if it is used in a somewhat literal sense? it opens a big conception of leveling??? and that being the "chosen one" is, supposedly, one of the highest levels possible for a stickman to have. and the fact that making him the chosen one was called a suicide???? god

it isnt really known from the series alone how much being the chosen one influences a stickman or a creation in general besides having very high levels of power. at the same time, having powers isnt an instant call to attack — unless there are in-universe rules that suppose that being the chosen one immediately means destruction being ingrained into a sticks code. but if thats the case... how much would it influence chosen as well?? wouldnt he have an innate, coded need of destruction too? and if its like this, how would he come back down from it? and if it goes in hand with tdls command too, why it was easier for him to denounce destruction than to tdl? does being the chosen one imply a variety of abilities, with destruction being part of it, but not it being the part that is impossible to suppress?

along with the "literal levels" idea, where would the second coming and the dark lord come in the "hierarchy"? and with the idea that being "the chosen one" initially supposes destruction, did the dark lord, given their name, have any initial code of destruction prior until the go and kill chosen command? why instead of attacking noogai as well they stretched at first instead, until they got their command?

these thoughts bring me to the idea of how exactly adobeflash brings a stick to life, to have a code of their own that influences them and ill probably have to dig information on the program itself and its coding language to know more about its functions. if bringing a stick to life, giving them powers is a function of animated programs in the universe, what else can a program do with them? how does adobeflash makes its creations interact with other applications? how could a creator get rid of a sticks life except for the supposed "dont save the changes" button? man. the whole idea of ava having interactable, 3d and alive internet, animations and creations in general, the existence of outernet as a whole makes me really happy since i just adore internet and digital concepts. i love exploring ava rules !!!

now getting to the second coming. to begin with, how was the program aware of who they were a second coming of in the first place to give them powers? the question feels answearable, but at the same time, second wasnt aware of their powers up until literally the last episode of ava. theres a lot to be thought about their awakening too

if most applications, art and creations has their own consciousnesses [desktop applications, youtube, browser stuff and etc], then how did specifically the last frame of second's animation come to life? could any previous frames of that animation be alive as well? and if they could be, would second's "clones" have the same powers and the same name?

in general, sticks are perceived as a separate entity in ava, but i do wonder if that could be the case, based on the fact that victims clones were able to be created and used after lol. even with vics clones, even with the idea that they're temporary, do they share the same memories with victim? given that victims life was "unsaved" along with their clones, were they able to "uncopy" themselves, or did they continue to just exist? are the clones that agent deployed in the box the same clones or new ones, just made with the amount that what victim is personally used to/the amount of weapons that victim is used to? if they are the same ones and were somehow able to "get back" into victim, do they continue sharing the same memories with them?

talking about other sticks i also have questions about their code. color gang for example

so far we had only seen the creation of hollowhead sticks by noogai and we dont even know about how other types of sticks came to life, not even mentioning the process of it, their code and their possible "program of birth". we do know that other alive sticks, and other HOLLOWHEADS, created by users exist given the stick rights banner in ava 3, yet it is the only clue of stickmen like noogais hollowheads existing. and we know that nonhollowheads are considered "naturally created" sticks both in internet and outernet, and that they're naturally weaker than "artificial" hollowheads are and that, supposedly, they reproduce by themselves. but how did they come to exist in the first place? do the rules of the universe imply them just coming into life by themselves, with the outernets existence? we do know, again, that users, other computers and programs exist in the universe and that some sticks are created by other artists, but were any of non-hollowheads like the colorgang, mercs, king, purple, gold, navy&orchid, everyone in the cities we have seen created by someone else as well? and why noogais stickmen are more special than others? are there stickmen stronger than noogais hollowheads? ... how would you tell two solid-headed sticks apart if, say, some artist created a copy of a "naturally" made stick?

if non-hollowheads stickmen are created too, are they in touch with their creators? besides the enslavement fact-freedom guy stick banner, do creators tend to torture or befriend their sticks, creations in general? are there stereotypes about sticks and their creators? is it more or less acceptable in stick society to be in touch with your creator? are other creators, besides noogai, aware of the outernet?

... where would the creators of the color gang, mercs, king and purple & co be?

talking about the "natural" and the reproduction part, i do wonder, if, in case of non-hollowheads also being created by other people and animators, purple and gold came to life as a will of creators or as a will of the sticks themselves. we have only seen symbolic depiction of purple coming to life in their song, and i feel like it can be a depiction of a stickman drawn for two other stickmen (with the existing code of them being their child) or a proof of actual, natural reproduction. if child sticks were drawn for the parent sticks, were they drawn by their creator or by the parents themselves?

talking about creation again, i do wonder why king was called "king" in the minecraft code, given that he had a life prior to becoming one. was it a player name inside minecraft that he has given to himself, or a name that he had outside minecraft as well? if its the second, why was he called king before? did he do anything king role related prior minecraft? and if it is not his real name, what IS his real name? and did he end up changing it back?

in general, talking about my favourite alive internet concepts, how did outernet appear? did it come into existence along with the internet? is outernet an extension of internet, and does it serve as a sort of a "backstage" for what is happening in the internet sites?

in my personal interpretation, i feel like outernet IS and extension of internet, and it develops with it — that, if you needed to describe it, the internet is the flat front of a regular box, while the outernet is the 3d space inside the box.

goooddd i think im done with my questions and ramble. my beckerverse brainrot consumes all. this is so long omg

if you read till the end...... have an aurora borealis duo doodle !!!! thank yew

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Wed 2 June ‘21

Louis sent a message to a fan looking for a hello after a major surgery-- “Get well soon mate. Sending you loads of love x”- and added that he hopes ALL of us are doing alright; I never doubted it Louis! Niall got a little more specific with his really lovely message today- “HAPPY PRIDE MONTH, BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE. It’s your life, LOVE who you want to LOVE,” he tweeted! THANKS GUYS.

Liam though, Liam was all over today! He checked in on his way to play golf, on his way back from playing golf (with videographer Conor!), posted comments on discord, joined a new chat platform (Telegram; 5 minutes into Telegram and chill Liam was like OKAY it looks like we may need some moderators for this app lol YOU THINK?), he did a whole 25 min live, AND checked in even later to say he’d just had a shower and was about to play a new video game! New news of the day-- he is going to host a Veeps show showcasing new artists in July!! NEAT! His post about how his team forgot to turn off notifications on the phone they set it all up on for him on is really funny, YIKES; “this used to be an iphone now it’s just a bell” he joked, with video of the phone frantically chiming nonstop (“the power of you guys still blows my mind to this day”.) Also he said that he was very busy getting ready for June 15. Why, you ask, what is on June 15? UH? IDK?? He has so many things coming up? But that’s the NFT I think, which I KNOW a lot of people are mostly not that excited about but I will say that while I don’t care about the technology, I am excited to see Liam’s artwork he’s working on for it (which hopefully the purchaser will share with us), and Liam is truly so excited about the platform, he’s really trying to talk us into it. More on that in a sec...

But let’s get to the other parts of Liam’s live first. He has that new song coming, about which he said “it’s one that I’ve written the most on so far actually, as a single, I’m excited to say my own stuff for once a little”, love that. He’s still coughing but says he’s tested repeatedly and it isn’t COVID, and that he’s gone vegetarian recently, and he says the chat channels were inspired by seeing people using the veeps chat rooms even after the show ended, not wanting to leave. And he talks about 1D- about the notifs mishap he said “back in the band we used to wait for people we didn’t like to leave their notifications on and then we would like- oh make sure you follow this person on twitter! And then their phone would break for days- if someone did something that annoyed you.” HAHAHA where’s my masterpost of people who annoyed them 1D told us to follow, PLEASE? And also “it’s hard sometimes you’re watching people stories from afar that you used to know so well and that can be difficult… we’ve all felt this at different times me and the boys… it’s almost like missing a very dear friend a lot of the time but everyone’s so busy… I’d love to get us all in a room somewhere sometime” aww. But also he said he talked to Harry recently, “really a lovely call, he has a sixth sense for if I'm struggling or if one of us is in trouble, I spoke to him and it was a really lovely catch up. I have a lot of love for the man, he's really, really great"; well I wish Liam wasn’t stuggling but that’s lovely. And Louis too! "I spoke to Louis, I wanna say yesterday. We speak a lot, there's just a lot of laughing about random crap," he said, plus some Louis memories- “I can just hear his laugh in the back of my mind. We once broke into one of the stadiums in America and got chased by a woman… on one of those cop type things, a mall cop thing, and that was quite crazy. He also left me on my own while I was being arrested nearly by a French policemen that I had to push over… which that still scares me to this day. [laughing] That’s what friends are for! I helped him over the fence to get in somewhere, he left me with the policeman, who didn’t have a clue who I was and tried to arrest me even though I was just trying to go into my hotel.” UMM sorry I can’t hear anything past LIAM PUSHED OVER A COP?? Go ahead, make a list of ‘1D members most likely to fight a cop’ and if Liam isn’t DEAD LAST you’re just wrong and yet HERE WE ARE!! WHAT A DAY.

But alas rather than fighting cops now Liam is partnering with an entrepreneur (which I have had to type so many times in the last two days thanks to Liam that I guess I know how to spell it now they just keep SAYING it SO MUCH). Steve Bartlett said “the secret” is out, he recorded a podcast with Liam yesterday-- I’d call secret a bit strong, we had actually got that mate, but okay; he called Liam an entrepreneur and said “yesterday I recorded one of the most powerful, honest, REAL conversations on my podcast to date” and “if you love Liam you’ll love this.” I can absolutely guarantee you that is not true, I love Liam and already hate everything about this collab, but his wording does make me think we’ll get a bit of Liam’s trademark emotional spillage which I suppose I might appreciate despite this self help CEO guy being there too. Liam does have one thing to say that could sway me in this guy’s favor though- “he has the cutest dog ever” apparently! Anyway I may as well get used to him he’s suddenly everywhere-- Liam also patched him into his live to try yet again to convince us that NFTs are good by awkwardly relating it to “fans of boybands” by saying you know this could eliminate like fake tickets and such… Sure Steve sure but anyway he also says of Liam, “the guy you see on camera is the exact same guy off camera”.

Harry and Olivia were seen together in London (well, a grainy ass video of their backs was seen anyway), walking, with some people who look to be her parents and Harry’s PA (so romantic! Not at all work related!) I was initially skeptical of the claim that it was her parents since this fandom is obsessed with saying everyone is so and so’s parents (we’ll NEVER top the time the fandom was sure Harry was seen having lunch with Eleanor’s father though) but it actually seems like maybe it was. More for Harry to add to his collection, that man truly loves an extended family! I mean the whole thing is sketchy as hell, from the assurance that that’s DEFINITELY actually Olivia in the grainy video, FOR SURE, to the confirmation that that’s her mom with them which came when a blank insta page produced a random old picture of her mom in the same skirt, but like is it them, sure I imagine so, and people making sure we get the story anytime they’re together isn’t exactly new. In other news, Dave Meyers, director of the Adore You music video, says he originally pitched the Eroda story idea (“I have this idea, of you love- liking a fish”) to Katy Perry and the Black Eyed Peas, ASJKJASKL CAN YOU IMAGINE?

[laterzgators]

How the gang would be like in modern times.

Kinda basing this off of texts I have with my friends because I get reminding everyday that my old friend group (kinda still my friend group.) are like the gang.

————

Ponyboy

He would have like an iPhone 6 in 2020. And he would be so upset about it. But he wouldn’t complain cause his brother didn’t have money for him to have an iPhone 11 or something.

He uses every platform to text. He probably only texts like Johnny and sometimes Dally.

Johnny and him would FT for hours and during them be like “look what I sent you.” And then proceeded to a meme.

Still a whiny baby boy but 2020 edition

Didn’t pay attention to politics cause he isn’t voting so he has no say. :/

Would probably watch anime- but like mainstream.

Has two instagram accounts one for public people he knew and a secret one to post what he wanted cause Darry probably looked into his phone-

Tries to show Darry how to use a smartphone. Darry won’t understand it. But he tried.

Track team until COVID hit 🙄

Hated virtual learning. HATED IT.

Especially when Darry didn’t have work that day he would peep into Soda and Pony’s room to see him on his desk on a call.

Pony putting his arm down shooing him away. “Darry...I’m in class please shh.” “Don’t worry bout me I’m just listening. Making sure these teachers actually are teaching ya.”

Somehow went brain dumb with this type of learning some days so when a teacher would ask him to answer something he would mute and turn off the camera or leave the call.

He was happy when he did know the answer a certain day.

• Having to text Johnny or Two bit to join a class cause the teacher was doing attendance.

—

Johnny

Texts Ponyboy and Dally pretty evenly. Though Pony would start being whiny when he didn’t answer. Johnny also probably had an older phone like an iPhone 6 or se maybe even an LG but he wouldn’t complain. He was just fine with having a phone. At least it worked.

Has a whole Instagram account about memes. Pony probably helps manage it.

Watches anime with Pony cause he finds it interesting. Does he understand what’s going on? No not at all but if Pony likes it then it’s okay.

Does really like Naruto though-

He hates school. It’s bad enough he skipped it most days. But now ITS AT HOME SO HE HAD NO EXCUSE TO NOT DO IT!

He would usually join the zoom calls but he kept his camera off and was on mute. His parents were probably arguing-

Some days he could be with Pony at his house and did his zooms from there.

Pony spamming him to join the class.

Pony: “Johnny Mr Fullb-“

Johnny: “I’m about to join just be patient pony.”

Dally sent him a nude once and he was SCARED. Dally used social media for that purpose but we will get more into that later-

He apologized a lot btw-

FT calls were fun cause he would put his phone in a certain position and do work and Pony being high on adrenaline would run around his room and you could see it on camera. It was funny.

—

Dallas

Where do I even start for this man....

TAKES FREAKING A MILLION NUDES LIKE IM NOT EVEN KIDDING ITS GROSS

Poor Johnny once got sent one on accident.

He is still traumatized

Virtual women and real women double bonus for him. He would text or dm one chick and be asking a girls number physically at the same time.

Mans gotta multitask-

Bully people on the internet.

Mainly pony for some reason. He did it playfully but Pony would get upset so quickly-

Pony.boy_curtis posted a picture. Caption: Read this poem at school and I’ve been vibing with it.

Comments: @Dal_winSton: Haha THATS dumb. (And more spam of him that includes 😀 that emoji.)

People would call him an eboy and he didn’t like that. He was just edgy in his own way.

Stole a iPhone 11 Pro so that’s how he has this phone.

GC with the whole gang existence and he was like “This is dumb we see eachother everyday.”

He was a weird teen-

—

Sodapop

My manz always texted Ponyboy when he was to lazy to speak.

Texted a lot of people cause he was that guy. But mainly Steve, Sandy (when they were still a thing.), Darry, and Pony.

His IG was filled with nice pics of him and girls just commenting about how handsome he was. He got annoyed of it at a point and turned off the comment section.

Probably had tiktok and made Pony get it.

Had a free subscription of Spotify and my boy loved his music.

Texting pony is like.: “Hey could you tell Darry that I got the eggs he needed earlier.” Pony never told him. Darry got home with a carton of eggs and started yelling that they wasted money on extra eggs. And Pony stood there after hours of finally looking at the text and would just back up.

Random girls dming asking if he was single.

It made him uncomfortable.

But Steve would grab his phone and say random things to the girls and they’d leave him alone.

He didn’t understand Pony’s memes but liked them cause they were on his page.

He or Darry probably asked later on what it meant.

“Uh-huh.” Is the response after Pony took an hour explaining it.

Still didn’t get it.

Followed every single person he knew or liked on Instagram or any platform.

“PONY CAN I USE YOUR HOTSPOT MY INTERNET ISNT WORKING!!!”

Pony just yelled back sure.

—

Darry

You thought Soda was bad nah Darry is a full on Karen-

Had probably had a flip phone until 2018

Loved Karen memes. Pony would see him liking them on fb and he’d just LAUGH.

Yelling at Pony to help him with his phone.

Pressed the wrong buttons all the time.

Probably had an LG-

DIDNT get texting 🤦‍♀️

Telling Pony not to talk to strangers on the internet.

Would have Rants on Facebook.

He pays for cable even though no one in that house used the Tv except him.

Would be so confused on the GC

“IF YOU ARE GONNA GO OUT WITH JOHNNY PUT ON YOUR MASK PONY!”

In the GC: Two Bit: Calm down Jamal dont pull out the nine.

Darry: Who is Jamal and what do you mean by pull out the nine??

Pony: PFT- CHILE I-

Darry: WAIT I SEARCHED IT UP IN THE GOOGLE DO NOT SAY INAPPROPRIATE THINGS IN THIS CHAT TWO BIT MATTHEWS!!!

It’s scary seeing him in our times-

—

Two Bit Matthews.

MEME LORD

All the memes all the jokes he understands it.

He is an intellectual.

Was barley passing school. He was usually on his phone in class.

He probably also had tiktok.

Dmed girls all the timeeee-

Hey good looking

You have been blocked by this user

WHA-

Yeah he didn’t realize girls didn’t like that

Had a whole page dedicated to memes because obviously.

DIDNT join virtual school at allllll

He was busy playing roblox like the cool kid he was.

He is legit a 9 year old-

Hated wearing masks but he did it.

Still hung out with Pony and the gang even with Corona.

He spammed the GC at like 4 a.m when he was super sleepy but still awake and asked all kinds of questions.

“If we call an orange orange can we call orange fruit?” Confusion.

He was something else-

—

Steve

Texted Soda during work.

Also texted Evie during work.

Google was his new best friend.

He used google a lot he just did.

Only had Instagram cause Sodapop begged.

He got used to it after a while.

Would get Ponyboy in trouble whenever he posted something that he knew could get him in trouble

Would post pictures of Darry doing random things and say “Superman” in the caption. LOL

Used LMAO a lottt for some reason

On the GC if someone was spamming he’d just say SHUT UP. Like a lot but he would.

He never wore his mask and if he did it was on his chin.

Pictures of chocolate cake.

That’s probably it lol.

——

That’s all. I hoped you liked it. Sorry I’m posting so late lol-

[britishchick09]

sherlock s2 ep 1 livewatch

welcome to a new (cumber)batch of eps! i’m excited to see all the iconic moments in this one :D

i haven’t even played the dvd yet and it’s glorious :’)

ooh it starts with a ‘previously’!!!

JIM MOIARTY HIIII!!!! :D

moiarty is amazing (and this recap is so dramatic!)

OMG SHERLOCK NECK FRECKLE! :o

also seeing the old channel 8 logo in the corner is so cool! :D

HOLD UP why is bee gees playing

IS MOIARTY A BEE GEES FAN???

‘staying alive’ lol funny since he’s about to get shot :D

moiarty: “SAY THAT AGAIN!!!!!” say that again QUIETER MOIARTY GEEZ

and he just walks away!!!

shoe sherlock cool

sherlock 2 NOW

oh no it’s irene alder...

masterpiece INTRO YAAAASSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

me watching sherlock be like:

the masterpiece trust is just rich people cool

omg the viking river cruises spon is the same as today! :D

woah they’re playing a movie trailer! :o

it’s a british movie obviously and i’ve never heard of it OBVIOUSLY

the scottish host guy is talking and i love it :D

host: “his mind has more apps than an iphone” lol

“a series of his three most famous cases begins! are you ready?” HECK YEAH LET’S GOOOO!!!!!!

YAS the blog scene!

sherlock: “what are you typing?” john: “a blog... about us”

lady: “i think my husband is having an affair.” sherlock: “yes”

sherlock thinks cases are boring except

sherlock ‘cases don’t need titles’ holmes

WOAH SHERLOCK JUST TOLD A LITTLE GIRL THAT DEAD PEOPLE BURN :o

lestrade: “any ideas?” john: “eight so far” wowza :o

sherlock ‘don’t mention the unsolved cases’ holmes

glasseslock!!!!! :D

eyyyyyyyy ;D

people want pics of sherlock and john do johnlockers exist in this universe? :o

lol :D

irene is seductively putting her hand on lockie’s newspaper pic ewww :(

mrs. hudson hates the fridge

THUMBS IN THE FRIDGE FRIDGE THUMBS

mrs. hudson: “BOYS YOU’VE GOT ANOTHER ONE!!!’ *insert meme here*

ooh it spins into a flashback!

OMG JOHNLOCK VID CHAT!!!!

sherlock’s in the sheet! :o

*phone rings* sherlock: SHUT. UP!!!!” lol :D

john’s holding his laptop around lol :D

john: ‘there’s a mute button and i will use it” aka the 2020 president debates

woah some random guys are in lockie’s house and john needs a helicopter what’s up with that????

BUCKINGHAM PALACE YAAAASSS!!!!!!!

john looks under...

giggly!!!!!

♥

mycroft is the queen now

BOI LOCKIE’S LIKE ‘what for?’ TO PUT PANTS ON OMMGGGGGGG

john smol be like :o

guy: “mr holmes the younger”

LOCK BUTT LOCK BUTT NOOOOOOO

john be like o///o ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

o lockie’s’s in clothes again :/

mycroft doesn’t trust the secret service welcome to america

:(

i don’t like irene not because there’s apparently a thing between her and sherlock but because she’s a bit creepy!

THERE LIKE THAT!

sherlock: “photographs of whom?” ooh how fancy

sherlock: “laters!!” lol! :D

irene’s friend is named kate like channel 8 being called ‘kaet’! :D

fashionista! :o

yes this is ‘the right armor’ lockie

john: “you didn’t even change your clothes!” lol :D

sherlock: “go on punch me in the face” lol :D

watson: “i always hear ‘punch me in the face’ when you’re speaking in subtext” ...wut o_O

WORST BATTLE DRESS EVER NNNOPE IMMA HEAD OUT

are sherlock and irene being shipped because they were naked in the same up

irene: “i could cut myself slapping your face” louise belcher wants your number

bi john when he sees irene: o///o “...i’ve missed something haven’t i?”

sherlock isn’t affected by naked irene thus i headcanon him as aro/ace (or even demi/ace in john’s case like my own holmes character) thank you and good night

irene just sits her bare butt on the chair why

JOHN SISTER NANI???? :o

also this font is so basic WHY LOCKIE

irene: “somebody loves you” *glances at john* ok i like her a tad she gets it ;)

john: “put something on, please. like.. a napkin?” lol :D

irene’s like ‘why’ JUS LIKE SHERLOCK BUT I SHALL NOT SHIP THIS SHIP THE SHOW IS TRYING TO SHIP

also john giggles at naked sherlock and is like ‘plz no’ with naked irene (although i would be too that lady is OUT THERE)

ooh antiques roadshow! :D

also she’s dressed like lockie NO

irene: “brainy is the new sexy” plz no :(

she took her clothes off ‘to make an impression’ yep

WAIT  they were just outside now they’re back in wut???

irene was born in the 80s cool :D

WOAH why are there more guy with guns?

and *le gasp* AN AMERICAN????

DON’T SHOOT JOHN AMERICAN!!!

ooh what was the code? :o

EPIC SLOW MO FIGHT YOOOOOO

DANNNNG IRENE JUS GUN SMACKED A GUY

sherlock just flipped a phone LIKE A FLIP PHONE OHHHH

irene is number 1 sherlock fan besides john confirmed

at first i thought it was a fandom phrase but it’s not! :o

WHY DID IRENE JUST PUNCH SHERLOCK

SHE’S WHIPPING HIM????

this reminds me of a certain sw ship... :(

yeah i don’t ship them AT ALLLLLL NOW

the key code is irene’s measurements DOES SHE MEAN...

the camera’s spinning FLASHBACK???

woah are they in the case?? this could be sherlock’s mind palace!

irene: “you got that just from one look? definitely the new sexy” NONONONONOO

outside bed

awww sweet bby ;)

did john tuck him in?

CRAP it was ireneeeeee >:(

the way she says ‘hush now it’s ok...’ is like count olaf in the hostile hospital when he drugs violet :o

LOCKIE’S FIRST WORDS WHEN WAKING UP WHERE JOHN awwww :D

OMG DID JOHN REALLY TUCK HIM IN awwww!!!!!!! ♥

lestrade filmed loopy sherlock lol :D

john: “ahhh back to bed!” awww :)

sherlock: “iiii’m fine i’m absolutely fine!!!’ drugged sherlock is a treasure ♥

sherlock: ”why would i need you?” john: “no reason at all” :)

ew was that an irene phone moan gross

DID SHERLOCK CHANGE HIS TEXT NOTIF TO THAT???

mrs. hudson: “family is all we have in the end, mycroft holmes!” mycroft: “oh shut up, mrs. hudson!” john: “my-“ sherlock: “MYCROFT!!!!” lol :D

mrs. hudson: “it’s a bit rude that noise isn’t it?” indeed!!

sherlock: “you can follow her on twitter” TWITTER IN THE HOLMESVERSE????

sherlock: “there’s more! much more” but wait... THERE’S MORE!

LOCKIE VIOLIN!!!!! :D

THE CHRISTMAS THING WASN’T A FAN MANIP HOLY YAS!!!!!!!! :D

cool sweater john!!! :D

:D

molly: ‘having christmas drinkies then?” wallace wants walkies thank you very much

john: “she’s off the booze!” sherlock: “nnnope” john: “shut up sherlock” lol

john to sherlock: ‘take a day off” lockie doesn’t know the concept mr doc

DID SHERLOCK NAME MOLLY CRY???? :o

HE KISSED HER????

sherlock still has the irene moan after all this time WHY

finding irene on christmas coolio :D

molly: “how did sherlock recognize her by... without her face?” ;)

sherlock smoking bad >:(

WOAH IS IRENE DEAD?????

VIOLIN YAS!!!! :D

smiley smiley :)

awww sherlock plucked a bit :)

OH CRAP IRENE’S BACC

john: “you flirted with sherlock holmes? “someone jellyyyy ;)

OOHH THIS IS THE IRENE JOHNLOCK SCEEENE!!!!!!! :D

irene: “you jealous?” john: “we’re not a couple!” irene: “yes you are.” ;)

john: “i’m not actually gay” irene: “well i am” IRENE LESBIAN GOOD!!!!

irene: “look at us both” (or perhaps bi like john could be...?)

biiiiiig door creak

UGH american... >:(

someone comfort mrs. hudson!! :(

sherlock: “take away your boys. it makes up for too much stupid in the room” he’s surrounded by idiots...

OMG SHERLOCK PEPPER SPRAYYY

awww he’s comforting mrs. hudson :)

john comfort! ♥

the guy’s tied up like the foody moody in bob’s burgers cool :D

awww mrs. hudson’s in shock :(

sherlock: “mrs. hudson leaving baker street? england would fall!” awww! :D

john says ‘alive’ like an irish guy :D

OMG IT’S NEW YEAR!!!!

happy violin new year! :D

sherlock’s xraying a phone lol

john said ‘in your bedroom’ BUT IT’S HIS AND SHERLOCK’S

and irene’s! :o

sherlock: “who wants to kill you?” irene: “killers” lol :D

sherlock said ‘the strand’!!!! :D

irene looks better without lipstick :)

the code is ‘i am SHERlocked’ HOW DO THEY NOT KNOW???

random john middle name reveal lol :D

FOR BABY NAMES NOOOO

john’s is hamish and eugene’s (from tangled) is hoarace... it’s the weird h middle name club! :D

sesame street time :D

...what in the world did sherlock just spout

john said ‘flight double o 7′ JAMES BOND REFERENCE????

MYCROFT IS SAYING ‘BOND ERE IS GO’ yep that’s bond!!!

sherlock didn’t notice john was gone for 2 hours lol :D

ooh sherlock says ‘second world war’ instead of ‘world war two’ :o

NONONONONNONONONONNOOOOOOOOO

sherlock: “that’s not the end of the world, that’s mrs. hudson” lol :D

mycroft: “that’s the deceased, always late” hey yeah :o

WOAH HE JUST CALLED SHERLOCK NAIVE AND IRENE A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS :o

oh hey irene

irene: “jim moiarty sends his love” ha ha funny love :D

WAIT MOIARTY CALLS SHERLOCK A VIRGIN??? :o

THEY’RE HOLDING HANDS NOOOOO

bada bing BADA BOOM!!!!!!!!!

wowza it’s been 6 months since they met???

sherlock: “sorry about dinner” *leaves* yesss :)

i’m glad they didn’t kiss and just held hands that was nice to make johnlock dreams fly :)

OMG IRENE LEGIT DIED THIS TIME BY BEHEADING!!!!! :o

john told sherlock she was in amurica good :)

lockie wants her camera phone aww :(

way better than any hand holding irene and sherlock did! ♥

awww irene texted sherlock goodbye :(

ew the irene moan one last time...

sherlock laughed and called her ‘a woman... the woman’ awww :)

that was a bittersweet ending! :)

aaaand it’s over!

next time... ;)

that was a great season premiere!!! irene was kind of cool (i like how she and sherlock were just friends) and the mystery was engaging as always. and of course... it was nice finally hearing lockie’s violin!! here’s to next time! :D

[fingerbiterfreak]

Percy Lore

General:

Full name is Perseus Andrew Malek

Has always despised being called Perseus, just goes by Percy

Smells like cinnamon and spices

Birthday is July 23rd. Was killed on his birthday (22) (Leo)

Born in Florida but moved to Pennsylvania at 3yrs old when his parents discovered the cult.

He is 5’9

Percy is bi, prefers women.

Playful and Cocky, loves to be mischievous

has cat like eyes (reflect light, pupils get big when happy or excited)

Scar across his chest from dying lol

soft messy hair, tons of curls

only gets a haircut when he can't see and does it himself

loves video games, Decent at smash

into anime because of Gretchen

Dabbles in guitar but can’t play any songs

Enjoys drawing but is not that great at it. He mainly does it because he knows whatever it is will look funny

Steals things from people's houses when investigating mysteries/monsters

Steals from 7/11 every time they go

LOVES Queen and The Struts

Any classic rock or indie music will do though

His phone is one of Gretchen's old iPhone. The screen wasn’t cracked until he touched it

Often takes over Gretchen’s computer when she’s not using it, as well as her consoles

Kinda a clutz

Doesn’t need to eat but does to feel some sense of normalcy

Life (alive)

Not great

Mom and dad were in a cult, The Eyes of Ekar. Their worshipping consisted of ritualistic sacrifice of animals and rare occasions people.

Their goal is to eventually "Ascend" and become higher beings, this did not happen often and only when Ekar wanted

To Ascend however, you have to be willing to literally die in a ritual

Percy sometimes felt like they loved Ekar more than him

Didn't go to public school because his parents didn't want him interacting with "outsiders'', instead was homeschooled. It was more schooling about Ekar and his "love" more than math and english

Spent most of his time exploring the outside on the property, he didn't have a whole lot of video games or things like that

Percy died in the house Gretchen lives in currently.

When he turned 8, Percy's parents believed it was his time to Ascend. He fought and resisted as much as he could (as he should) but it was no use.

someone walking their dog heard his screams, his parents were promptly arrested and locked up.

The house sat abandoned for 3 years until Gretchen's parents bought and refurbished the house to turn into their Funeral Home. For 3 years Percy wandered the grounds alone.

The town kind of covered up the whole murdered little boy story.

Life(Not alive):

he doesn't remember a whole lot about his life before he passed. He knows his parents were bat shit about some cult, who Ekar is, and how/where he died but that’s about it

When he came back to the living realm he didn't come back normal

He got cat like eyes and sharp teeth

Being a ghost, he is also invisible to people around Gretchen, but she can see and hear him. Percy however can touch others and objects. If he chooses he can phase through things, but it feels weird so he doesn't do it much.

When Gretchen loses control of her magic however, he is perfectly visible to everyone.

He grew protective of Gretchen the more they hung out, she was his only friend and vice versa and he didn’t like how she was treated at school.

when they were in middle school, if someone would bully her they’d get a swift kick to the shins.

she made him stop doing that once they got older. He didn't want to (it was kinda funny) but he did.

this added to the stigma around Gretchen that she was weird and dangerous

he would also play pranks during class which would in turn get blamed on her

she hardly held it against him though, no matter how much trouble she got in. It usually made her laugh anyway

Percy spends a lot of his free time playing video games, on his phone, or happily napping in Gretch's presence

always down for an adventure though, whether it's just going out or to go hunt monsters

Motw

Drove a car really cool once, played so much forza he learned how to drive

Also fell out of said car

At one point Percy was unintentionally traded for power. Ekar gave Gretchen a deal, power in exchange for something. There wasn't time to figure out what that something was.

it was him

Ekar locked him up in a hell dimension, alone again for what felt like forever.

Percy being sent to hell isn't something the two of them really talk about. When he came back he was happy to be home, but was distant towards Gretchen for a bit and would often phase out for hours.

in the end he forgave her, she didn't know he would be sent away. He just wished she'd been more careful.

Now hates being completely alone more than he already did

~~~~~~

Went through a few names during creation, was almost named Felix

Looked like an early 2000s teen when I first drew him

Percy is *pretty*, if people could see him he’d get bitches

Originally was a demon boy Gretchen summoned from Hell but I couldn't figure out how to make him his own person before he met Gretchen without it being kinda creepy, so now he’s a ghost!

[apriki]

RISE OF SKYWALKER

IT HAS BEEN SEEN MY FRIENDS... LET’S GO

IT WAS A LOVE STORY ALL ALONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU. GUYS. I AM SO... ALIVE RIGHT NOW I 

okay that opening scrawl i laughed so hard... THE DEAD SPEAK!!

‘supreme leader kylo ren’ will never not be funny

OKAY OPENING WITH KYLO I SCREAMED.... HIS BEAUTIFUL FACE

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN TO YOU.... HOW MUCH

okay and his ruthless hell bent search for this silly macguffin.... we love a demonic legend

and ALSO his determination to kill the past!!!!!! HE HAS LITERALLY BEEN CIRCLING THIS THE WHOLE SERIES

look, i am biased because kylo is my favourite and he has been the one thing that’s been consistently written and done across this trilogy and i’m very spoiled because i got everything i wanted here

but KYLO REN. KYLO REN!!!!!!!!!!!

laughed my ASS off at the snoke in the tube and palpatine being like ‘surprise bitch.... bet you thought you’d seen the last of me’

laughed decidedly LESS at ‘i’ve been every voice you’ve ever heard in your head’

look this isn’t going to be a review.... just my thoughts really and this decidedly isn’t a comparison with the last jedi which it seems like everyone wants to do in a weird victorious kind of way

but kylo killing snoke/his abuser in tlj was a terrifying powerful moment to watch and i loved it fiercely and still do, and for kylo to see that he hadn’t done that at all.... and that evil still abides.... fucking nightmare, honestly

and that’s when i started getting a feeling in the back of my head because look he is so determined to kill the past

(let the past die)

that he will kill himself as well to do it. that has always been kylo’s character since the very beginning. SO!!!!!

also the structural integrity of palp’s hideaway.... not great

palps: kill rey heh heh

kylo: i am absolutely not gonna do that but okay

omfg when kylo was like ME AND MY KNIGHTS OF REN ARE GOING HUNTING

i cannot explain to you how HILARIOUS the knights of ren are to me

they do nothing! they say nothing! they just stand around and look stupid in their stupid helmets..... i laughed every single time they were on screen

it’s like kylo’s uselessness manifests into what 6? 7 more useless things. the Knights of Ren

‘we’re going hunting’ are you TWELVE YEARS OLD

this film felt like it was going a million miles an hour, all the time, and that started for me in that first scene in the falcon which was going all over the place? for some reason?

anyway THERE’S A MOLE IN THE FIRST ORDER and i know it is hux but i kind of wanted it to be kylo on the side.... though i know he is not capable of any such subterfuge. about as subtle as a wrecking ball... and my SON

loved the comraderie with poe and finn. i liked the lived-in feeling of the relationships between the rebellion characters this time around

felt like they had that new alien dude in the falcon for no reason and for two seconds like... why

(to sell toys, of course. the same reason why they have a new tiny droid)

but that of course is just the first in a long line of new and underdeveloped characters in this movie. but you know what? i can accept this because the core emotional story was strong and also, it’s star wars? a big sprawling mess is what it has always, always been. ANYWHOMST

REY IN THE FOREST LEVITATING!!!!

the white outfit!!! how at one she is with nature??? SORRY IT WAS BEAUTIFUL

and okay the specific framing of rey and rey’s power in this movie as not only a part of the force but so specifically as a woman using the force... like the power of empathy! the power of healing!!! IT WAS BEAUTIFUL WHATEVER

when she called leia her MASTER? MY HEART

THE POWER OF WOMEN!!!

on the flip side, doesn’t it kind of feel like poe has a problem with women?

like as soon as he started riffing with rey i was like GET A JOB STAY AWAY FROM HER

but in hindsight i feel kind of better about them and their interactions... more on that later

FINN! finn in this movie was WONDERFUL

(except it annoyed me how they had the whole ‘there’s something i want to say to you’ and never had him say it... like even if he was going to say he loved rey okay just don’t leave it hanging like that?)

FORCE FUCKING SENSITIVE!!!!!!

look i really think they did they best they could with a really difficult job in incorporating leia and previous footage into this movie. it wouldn’t have felt right without her and the scenes were a bit clunky but again, a very very difficult thing to do

LEIA AND REY’S RELATIONSHIP..... MY HEART HURTS

i love that rey’s storyline has depth and motivation and kylo’s storyline is literally revolving around rey like she’s the sun

like i literally love this. MORE OF THIS!!!

FORCE BOND STILL EXISTSSSSSSSS

KNEW IT CALLED IT CLAIMED IT LOVE IT

the soft gasp rey does whenever kylo is about to show up for forceskype i love this song

the knights of ren standing around while kylo’s helmet got fixed omfg they are the stupidesttttt

kylo: maybe i don’t want to wear the helmet

the knights of ren: maybe shut the fuck up 

Let’s Go To Burning Man

i actually kind of liked seeing these people doing their own cool cultural thing. like again this movie went at lightspeed but i did enjoy that. what’s better than this? just aliens being dudes

when rey talked to that little girl and she asked her last name i was like LOLLLL HERE WE GOOOOOOOO

as soon as lando showed up it was like ‘oh it’s lando’

‘i offered you my hand’

‘I’LL OFFER YOU MY HAND AGAIN’ 

WHY DID HE SAY THIS... LIKE IT WAS A PROPOSAL

I WAS SCREECHING SORRY... WOW.

i have never really found C3PO funny but um he was going off in this movie... when they all looked at him and then he looked away I CACKLED

and the mind wipe like whew man... one day we’re gonna have a conversation about Droids And The Uncomfortable Conclusions About Droids in these movies

but also, i wish they’d had the guts to stick with it and not restore his memory because, what a symbol for the past dying and the end of a saga? like 3PO has been there since the start!! the star wars live in his memory banks ???? and R2 as well i suppose

don’t think too long about this cause then you realise that for some reason they’re still using like 80 year old iphones and R2 and 3PO should be decommissioned for scraps

WHEN HE TOOK THE NECKLACE OFF HER I FOUND IT HOT I FOUND IT SEXY I FOUND IT UMMMM

the sand was a cool visual thing but then THE SNAKE

it felt so GREEK HERO MYTH but then rey stops the script!!

AND DOESN’T FIGHT IT

AND SHE HEALS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

as soon as rey healed that snake i was like

‘kylo ren is that snake’

blah blah dagger blah

the sith language and being forbidden actually interests me. i want more proper sith lore

basically i want a revan and bastila movie. make it so

keri russell was WASTED in this movie

but that one scene with her and rey where they had Mutual Respect was so much better and more important than anything she did with poe

poe is like... sure i guess. i mean i liked him better in this movie than tlj and i liked him more as the movie when on but hmmst 

but hey if i get to have a kylo then the poe people can have i poe. i begrudge no one

except, uh.... hux people. y’all really got done this movie huh. ouch

double as bad cause there was literally no point to the new general character. should have just been hux and then had him die in the final battle?

but i laughed when he was like ‘i don’t want you to WIN. i want kylo to LOSE’

THAT’S KING PETTY 

omfg when kylo was like ‘where are you’ and then saw the vader mask and was like ‘oh you’re in my room’

SCREECHED

KYLO’S EVIL BOARD MEETING

LAUGHED MY ASS OFF

WHEN HE SMACKED THAT DUDE TO THE ROOF

sorry the first order is a startup. not even an ‘evil’ one especially because they’re all just a bit evil 

when kylo reacted to that guy saying ‘we should take more children’ and the small thread winding through this movie about children being indoctrinated and rey and ben stopping THAT cycle.. important to me and i wish it had been bigger but i was glad it was there 

all kylo did in the first half of this movie was chase after his girlfriend and tell her how they were meant to be together and that he wasn’t going to kill her even though he should. i love one stupid man

kylo flying his ship at rey deliberately wanting to ‘push her’ and her jumping over it and crashing the whole damn thing

and then him just getting up and walking out of the wreck not a scratch on him

like some kind of hero in a romance novel in his stupid cape lmfaoaoooo... you love to see it

THE PUSH/PULL WITH THE TRANSPORT?

THEIR POWERRRRRR

and then rey with her fuckin LIGHTNING

as soon as that happened i was like, oh lol rey palps then....

but also, THE LOOK OF WONDER BUT ALSO VICTORY ON KYLO’S FACE

ADAM DRIVER SIR

okay to be honest the whole soujourn to the like space swiss village is kind of a blur to me

keri russell was wasted, did i say that already?

although okay that bit when poe was like ‘were you a stormtrooper? were you a scavenger?’ maybe give him his rights

when kylo said WE’RE TWO PARTS OF THE SAME BEING

A DYAD

TWO WHO ARE AS ONE 

two? WHO ARE? AS ONEEEEEE

NEITHER WHOLE WITHOUT THE MOTHERFUCKING OTHER I 

‘i never lied to you’ AND HE NEVER HAS AND NEVER FUCKING DIDDD!!!!!

all the stormtroopers getting knocked back and kylo steadying himself with the force lol... it’s these little things ok 

JODIE COMER? 

rEy PaLpAtInE

I LAUGHED MY ASSSS OFFFFFFF

like... sure jj. sure

look, i have always understood and respected the choice to make rey ‘nobody’ (like anakin was! the force just makes who it needs to create the balance!) but if rey was going to be anyone i guess.... this is the best choice?

and i think there IS merit in the story going from ‘person burdened with legacy vs person with no legacy’ to ‘person with a legacy of good turning evil and person with a legacy of evil turning good’

i gotta think longer and more about this but. besides its inherent silliness i do not hate this ‘twist’ 

this movie jumped from planet to planet like a ping pong ball! it felt a bit jarring but my mum pointed out that the galaxy IS big and they’ve never really done this before and i was like hmmm Points Were Made

THE FIGHT ON THE OLD DEATH STAR

KYLO DODGING REY’S SWIPES AND NOT EVEN PULLING HIS SABER UNTIL HE HAD TO

THEN ONLY FIGHTING DEFENSIVELY

and her DESPERATION

ALMOST LIKE SHE’S FIGHTING HERSELF

BECAUSE THEY ARE TWO HALVES! OF ONE WHOLE!

and then oh my god

‘you can’t go back to her (leia). just like i can’t’

and the VICTORY in his eyes and the acknowledgment of the truth in hers

because THEY ARE THE SSSAAAAAAMMMMMMMMEEEE

when rey SCREECHED and force threw finn back.... oh fuck

(sidebar the way finn was so determinedly THERE for rey this whole movie... even when she said about the sith throne... his faith in her didn’t waver im verklempt)

WHEN HE DISAPPEARED AND REY LOOKED BACK HORRIFIED

because he can’t go! because the fight is what they have and what she’s clinging on to!

AND THEN HE WALKED UP OUT THE WATTTTEERRRRRRRRR

absolute romantic nonsense.

AND THEN

SHE KILLED HIM

SHE KILLED HIM!!!!!!

SHE KILLED KYLO REN WITH HIS OWN DAMN CRUCIFIX SWORD

I COULD NOT

BE LEEEEAAAF

THIS HAS BEEN MY DREAM ENDGAME SINCE THE START AND IT’S HERE TWO THIRDS THROUGH THE FUCKING LAST MOVIE?

A GIFT. LICH RALLY A GIFT TO MEEEEE

leia gave her LIFE for her SON I...

this was the only moment in the movie where i started to get some tears cause like... IT WAS JUST SO MUCH

AND REY.... TOOK LEIA’S ENERGY THROUGH THE FORCE... 

AND SHE PUT HER HANDS ON HIM

AND SHE HEALED HIM

SHE’S A SCAVENGER

SHE FIXES BROKEN THINGGGGSSSSS

HE DIED BECAUSE SHE KILLED HIM 

AND HE LIVES BECAUSE SHE HEALED HIM... 

WHEN. WILL. YOUR. FAVES?????????

‘I WANTED TO TAKE YOUR HAND. BEN’S HAND’

take my hand? take my whole life too

IIRENGOWENRGKLJEWNGFKJBKJBKJBKJLB

ALL THE BEAUTIFUL WINDSWEPT CLOSE UP SHOTS OF KYLO’S BEAUTIFUL WINDSWEPT FACE IN THIS MOVIE. I WAS BREATHLESS

KYLO STNADING ON THE EDGE OF THAT SEA WITH THE WIND GOING AND HIS LEG OUT LIKE THE STUPID BYRONIC HERO HE IS

HEATHCLIFF? HEATHCLIFF ON THE MOOR?

HAN’S HAND ON BEN’S FACE

HE CALLED HIM. DAD

‘kylo ren is dead’

OHHHHHH BABBBBYYYYYY

look i loved the crossguard saber but i understood why it had to go

and like ben shedding the persona he had built as a defence mechanism... rey killed that part of him? powerful too powerful

i know i have rose coloured glasses because i care about the core story of kylo/rey enough and i’m passionate enough about it but okay the way they are entwined with one another on the journey to identity is the greatest thing a silly blockbuster series has maybe ever given me 

it’s tam lin. IT’S FAIRY TALE NONSENSE AND I LOVE IT 

i 100% know in my bones they wanted the scene with han to be leia but they obviously couldnt have that so that was fine. when ben turned his head around and heard her and felt her.... DONT LOOK AT ME

the most emotional moment in this movie was when chewie heard about leia and broke down and collapsed and screamed

:(

us too buddy. damn 

rey stealing kylo’s ship and yeeting away lmfao

and when she went back to ach-to and burned it and was like IM STAYING HERE 4EVA >:(

she’s literally the exact same stupid reckless as kylo and i love

rose was wasted in this movie. very annoying

i DID laugh when they said ‘we should pull a holdo manoeuvre’ like of course that’s the one thing jj took from tlj. ohhhh jj

loved finn meeting the ex stormtrooper lady. i always felt like the one weakness of tlj is that it dropped this thread of finn’s indoctrination that i thought was being woven alongside rey and kylo’s issues with their childhoods in force awakens. the look of wonder on his face when she said that the whole battalion defected.... and saying the force lead them to do it like it lead him... and you could see john boyega feeling that with his whole heart!!!

i laughed at palps’ fleet of star destroyers that like all have death star capabilities now? so dumb

and also, a star destroyer is basically an aircraft carrier.... do you think the people who make star wars realise the empire is america? no...??? alright imma head out

missed opportunity for a shot of jar jar or a gungan when the galaxy fleet showed up like those towboats at dunkirk. to be HONEST

where did sheev palps find that stadium of goons? are they on retainer?

yeah so palpatine’s lair is the underworld and rey is eurydice and ben is orpheus. YEAH. YEAHHHHHHHHH

LEIA WAS TRAINED AS A MFING JEDI

THAT FLASHBACK WAS EVERYTHING FUCK

LEIA’S SABER!!!!!!!!!

i have Questions about leia ‘seeing her son dying at the end of her journey’ like ?

BUT HER PUTTING AWAY THE SABER TO PROTECT BEN!!!!

THIS FAMILY

fuck. benjy solo in that jumper.... USING A BLASTER LIKE HIS DAD.....

THE X WING AND THE TIE FIGHTER PARKED NEXT TO EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!

PALPATINE CALLING THEIR BOND ‘AS POWERFUL AS LIFE AND THE FORCE ITSELF’

NOT FOR GENERATIONS HAS THEIR BEEN A DYAD LIKE THEM!!!

FUCKING

DESTINED

BITCH

THEY ARE EACH OTHER’S DESTINY? WOW SORRY.... WOWOWOOWOOWOWOOWOWOW

ben versus his idiot knights of ren.... yeah i love my son

sorry rey had a vision of her AND kylo sitting on the throne but the throne is.... one seat? what are the logistics here? her on his lap? him on her lap? both of them sitting on an armrest like awkward kids taking a photo with santa?

I THOUGHT ABOUT THIS FOR LIKE FIVE MINUTES COMPLETELY DISTRACTED

THE LITTLE SHRUG BEN DID WHEN HE GOT THE LIGHTSABER AND WAS LIKE ‘YEAH SORRY NOW YOU’RE GONNA DIE’

I SCREAMED. IM LOVE HIM

rey giving ben the saber through the force bond!!

ACROSS SPACE??? LOVE THAT TRANSCENDS THE WORLD

palpatine taking, SPECIFICALLY, the power of rey and kylo’s BOND to strengthen himself because it is THE STRONGEST THING IN THE FUCKING UNIVERSE???????? CANONICALLY????????

REY AND BEN FIGHTING WITH LUKE AND LEIA’S SABERS

FUCKING... I FUCKING....

when palps like flicked ben away sorry i laughed... i mean i was like REALLY? FOR THE BIG FINALE HE’S GONE? but i understood why and that rey is the hero etc etc

THE JEDI SPEAKING TO REY! OBI WAN! QUI GON FUCKIN JINN

yoda is there too

AND THE POWER OF THE JEDI FLOWING THROUGH HER!!!!!

god her power.... SHE AMAZES MEEEE

(initially i thought ben was gonna kill palps for rey because of the whole The Sith Live in My Killer thing and then she’d have to kill him but HOISTED ON HIS OWN PETARDDD)

palpatine:

and the power was too much and it killed her ooooof

(the power of being a legacy... of channeling all that has some before!!! these movies get so ridiculously meta sometimes. best believe we’ll talk about THIS)

BUT HERE COMES BEN

BENJY BOYYYYY

his hair JUST long enough to be scraggly and devastating

literally dragging a broken leg 

ADAM DRIVERS PHYSICALITY IN THESE MOVIES (WELL ALWAYS) (BUT SPECIFICALLY IN THIS ROLE)

and he knows

WHAT HE HAS TO DOOOO

HE FINALLY FOUND SOMETHING HE LOVED ENOUGH TO DIE FOR

I JUST CAN’T BELIEVE THIS 

when he held her body holy shit... HOLY SHIT, GUYS

FULL CIRCLE????CVMSDFJNVDSLKFJVLDKJFVLKJDBFV

A PIETA.... A FUCKING PIETA

OH MY GOD THIS MOVIE

and his heartbroken face.... stumbling back to her... oh my good goddd

and then

‘I KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO BUT I’M AFRAID TO DO IT’

HE DIED FOR HER

HE GAVE.... HIS LIFE..... FOR HER.....

I CANNOT BE LIEVE THISSSSSS

HE GAVE UP HIS LIFE!!!!! HIS FUCKING LIFE!!!

he fought.... his whole life.... and he gave it up....

THAT’S LOVE? THAT’S FUCKING TRUE LOVE HOLLYL SKDJBVDKBF

REVAN AND BASTILA!!!!! REVAN AND BASTILA!!!1

and then she was alive again!!! ROMEO AND JULIET OKAY WOW

AND 

THEY

KISSED

I’M SORRY I DID FREAK THE FUCK OUT

HIS SOFT EYES

(super spoilery shot coming up here but)

OH MY GOD

FOR FUCK’S

SAKE.

i’m sure people will be mad about how little kylo like... talked in this movie but like sorry this was perfect

she saved his life! and she saved the world! and he quietly gave his life to her, for her?

this humble act of love? PURE LOVE?

WHAT WONDERFUL AND TERRIBLE THINGS THEY ARE CAPABLE OF. 

THAT THEY PUSH EACH OTHER TO

THIS TRILOGY WAS MADE FOR ME AND ONLY ME. THERE’S NO OTHER EXPLANATION

and her look of JOY and she said, ‘BEN’

look. i have been on the record for YEARS as saying my dream endgame would be for rey to kill kylo and for him to be forceghost with her always

AND SOMEHOW UMMMM THIS IS BETTER?

1. SHE DID! KILL HIM! AND THEN BROUGHT HIM BACK

2. AND THEN HE WILLINGLY DIED FOR HER? 

3. AND NOW SHE CARRIES HIM WITH HER ALWAYS??????

when his body faded and leia’s did too..... wo OOOOOOOOOOWWWW

SHE TOOK

HIS FUGGIN

LAST NAMMMEMELRKNWELKJBNLKJBFLKJBFKLRBJKLERJB

I’M SORRY THIS MOVIE WAS MADE FOR ME. KYLO REN WAS BREWED UP F O R MEEEEEEE

listen. there is a video game where a lady’s boyfriend gets killed and his soul goes into a sword and she carries the sword around with her

THAT IS THE RISE OF SKYWALKER

I CARRY YOUR HEART I CARRY IT IN MY HEART BITCH??????

THE FUCKING ORANGE SABER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and look. ben’s story is allowed to be just about rey and rey’s is allowed to be bigger than just him. that’s EQUALITY. that’s JUSTICE

look i know it’s very douchey of me but i wrote this paragraph about a character of mine in a book i wrote and it is like..... LIKE IT’S JUST KYLO REN OKAY

he was never gonna be someone who could settle down and live like a quiet life of monkhood or whatever luke was doin on ach-to.... 

okay when finn poe and rey hugged at the end okay I DID FEEL SOMETHING IN MY COLD DEAD HEART

FINN JUST LOVES THEM! SO MUCH! THERE IS SO MUCH LOVE IN THAT BOY’S HEART

and probably up until that moment i hadn’t really cared about having a Trio in the new movies like we had han and leia and luke but that hug had me feeling like... okay... Friendship IS Great

okay back to kylo, i tweeted this but i’ll repeat here: my favourite arc in media has always been snape’s, to me it is the perfect ‘redemption’ arc (and yes this will make people scrunchy-nosed angry, so i will point out: redemption to me has always meant redemption in the eyes of the reader/viewer, not in-world, this is true for anakin/vader too, who also has a nearly flawless ‘redemption’ arc) but now it’s kylo solo ren ben

I LOVE HIM. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I CAN’T STAND IT A LITTLE

HE FELL IN LOVE? AND IT SAVED HIM

HE WAS LOST AND HE FOUND HIS OTHER HALF

AND HE DIED BECAUSE SHE WAS STRONG ENOUGH TO CARRY IT ALL

CARRY THE LEGACY WHEN HE COULDN’T!!!

IT’S JUST SOSSOOSOOSOSOOSSO

i want a funko pop of ben in his comfy jumper running to fuck sheev palps the fuck up

i don’t even LIKE funko pops

naboo has a lot to answer for. literally all of these problems come from naboo

sure this movie was a big ole mess and i surely can’t wait for the good old disk horse

but i’m riding this high for as long as i can

because it was always about LOVE! LOVE CAN IGNITE THE STARS

so sure, this movie pandered terribly. but i am one of the people it pandered to and i am HAPPY INDEED

remember when maz kanata was like ‘your parents aren’t coming back but there is someone who still could’ YEAH IT WAS BEN!!!!!

:)

[taylornock]

how cell phones made our lives better while simultaneously ruining them

hi fam!! it’s me, again. are you tired of hearing from me? me too. that’s why I’m here to rant about social media / phone / technology. bc i hate it… but in a loving way???

everyone remembers when they got their first iPhone. seriously. why is that such a monumental moment in our lives? i can hardly remember what i felt like freshman year of high school but can pinpoint the feeling of sheer glee unwrapping my iPhone 6 in eighth grade. i have this thing that is attached to me 24/7 - when I go anywhere (even downstairs) without my phone i feel weird. that is f***ing SAD! PATHETIC. i hate feeling that dependent on what is essentially a pocket robot.

for what it’s worth - phones have done INCREDIBLE things for the world as we know it. for example, this quarantine shit has been testing all of us; and our phones are helping us get through it in so many ways. our phones let us see the faces of those loved ones we are missing, our phones provide us with stupid tik tok content to keep everything light hearted, and our phones let us check in on each other. all amazing things! when we are at school, we have instant access to our lives at home . being able to call my mom whenever i want is something i definitely abuse. “mom, I’m on my way home from Thompson right now and i think i have a brain aneurysm but my bio final is at 11am tomorrow will i make it” … an actual conversation i had with my mom at the end of freshman year. needless to say i was medicated shortly after THAT meltdown. I am such a brat that i don’t know what i would do if i couldn’t text my dad and have him immediately get me the password again to our Uverse account…… god forbid i miss an episode of the bachelor. i have this phone, and that’s what i do with it? abuse its powers to ask my parents for medical advice or a password i forgot? have we lost sight of everything here?

throughout life and especially throughout quarantine… my phone is the definition of a possession that is a blessing and a curse. I’m so grateful to have the ability to bother my friends - whenever i want! the options are endless! i love keeping in touch with people i thought id never hear from again, and being able to talk to so many people in my life and make my heart swell. now, when a conversation with someone other than my two roommates (shoutout parents) is so rare ⎯ that phone is my weapon and i use it to help flatten the curve: flatten the curve of covid19 and flatten the curve of my mental illness 🙃 [humor is a coping mechanism okay let me live] but like, i KNOW i’m not the only one that looks at my screen time and immediately wants to die. how can i honestly be looking at my phone for that long? picking it up THAT many times?????? my phone is the best distraction and also the most toxic - it makes me feel better but has a tendency to bring up all my issues and blast them into the reflection of my blue light glasses...... its called fashion look it up.

to give some examples - let’s open up my most used app: snapchat. I go on snapchat with the best of intentions - to see a memory from a year ago that makes me smile. to respond to my friends and see what their mood today is based on the look on their face. to creep on snap stories and see what everyone’s cooking and doing with their lives. somehow, tho, after spending a few minutes on the app.. i end up with a pit in my stomach most of the time. the person i want to respond hasn’t responded in 4 hours. oh god lets overthink this- they don’t like me anymore and are no longer interested in speaking to me and only respond every once in a while out of pity or because they are uncomfortable. everyone hates you. oh and GOD FORBID someone leaves me on open??! I am not funny nor interesting nor worth a reply - suddenly, i have equated my value to receiving or not receiving a photo of someone’s blank stare. this is extreme, and this is dramatic. but trust me —— this is the hamster wheel always turning in my head. I’m not even going to touch on snap maps; that feature is pandoras box and someone better fucking shut it.

second most used app is instagram. i scroll for hours, i have time limits set for the app acting like i’m actually going to listen to them and get off. lmaooooooooo. i love looking at aesthetic stuff and dogs and food and recipes and my friends’ beautiful faces. but you know what i don’t like? constant nudges to compare myself to others. oh look at her having a party with all of her friends even though we aren’t supposed to be. am i a loser for trying to be safe? oh look at her washboard abs, i’m never going to look like that and will never live up to the standard of beauty society has set for me. look at all of these people in their happy relationships. why can’t i have that? it goes over and over and over. its not like i sit there and think of these things just like that, its a precedent in my mind when i stare at everybody else that i am going to size my own life up against theirs. for years i followed every single elite model / VS angel on instagram to motivate me to do better - to start being psycho about what i did to my body so i could be as gorgeous as them. what kind of fucked up mindset is that? i would literally watch their footage of them eating rice and vegetables once a day and try to copy it. i would watch their runway walks obsessively trying to recreate them in heels alone in my house - like that was all i could imagine doing with my life. did i ever stop for a second to look at that photoshoot of gigi hadid and wonder if she was happy? wonder if the constant pictures she saw of herself ever made her insecure? what was i doing? the day i unfollowed those girls was a monumental day in my journey to a better self image. i didn’t realize the people i thought were my “motivators” were actually my triggers. i have grown to a point in life now that i would much rather eat a stack of chocolate chip pancakes that make me dance in my chair like an infant than practice my runway walk and shame my body in the mirror. and i am so freakin happy! 

i could go app by app for hours. but moving on to the next thing i hate about cell phones - how they have destroyed our biological methods of communication. you hear about those psychos who think the world is destroyed by technology and we are going to be overrun by robots. but hey, I’m with the psychos on this one. i have this amazing friend, Trevor Wright, who without fail at EVERY dinner announces “phones off friends on” and collects our phones into the center of the table. yes, we are 20 year old adults. yes, we hand our phones over to Trevor and let him yell at us for trying to see if ~that person~ snap chatted us back. i have so much respect for him because of this. there is nothing worse than staring at your phones when you could be having a good conversation about life, about love, about laughter + memories, about “do you think hellen keller is real?” anything, bro, anything. anything but snapchat messaging your hoe of the week or mindlessly playing tetris to twiddle your thumbs. we all need to start loving a little harder, and the first step to doing that is to communicate better. communicate smarter. I’m guilty of alllll of the above, don’t get me wrong. and I am ADD asf and constantly playing mindless games just to stimulate my brain. but i need to stop that! even writing this is taking some time away from the dumb shit on my phone - and encouraging me to communicate how i     r e a l l y   feel to my homies that will read this. communication - especially body language - is fascinating. I’ve studied it in  psych, I’ve learned the neurological bases of behavior and why we do what we do. I’ve learned how much our life experience impacts who we are as a whole...and it! is! fascinating! i also think that’s why i love film so much. because it can capture the raw moments of your friends just being your friends, of you just being the person you are, and the world around you just existing as it exists. i love the raw moments; and not just because indy blue posted one youtube video of her slow mo laughing and now thats the only footage i find myself shooting. 😚

im not quite sure what this post is, lol. but - just a rant on technology. so listen to me:

take advantage of technology + social media! it CAN BE GREAT. for so many reasons. but, don’t let technology + social media TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU. stay true to you - know how to communicate with yourself and your loved ones without the use of a robot. remember that feeling when you setup up your first iPhone? imagine if you could feel that again, with your phone nowhere in sight. if you don’t know how to communicate with yourself yet, start by journaling. WRITE! TYPE! SPEAK! do what you want. getting your thoughts down even without an audience is so crucial to understanding yourself and others. if you don’t like to write, reflect. breathe. meditate. make art. do what makes you feel at peace, and do whatever makes you feel like the world makes a little bit more sense than it does. 

IF YOU ARE READING DOWN TO HERE, I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU, SAY IT BACK! LIFE IS A FUCKING HIGHWAY. AND IM SO GLAD YOU’RE ON MY INTERSTATE. <3

xoxoxoxo

gossip girl

[purplesurveys]

802

Was your life better or worse or the same five years ago? A lot better. 2015 was the year of my grandfather dying, the slow death of a relationship, and me facing the massive pressure that came with taking college entrance exams. It wasn’t my favorite year. 2020 isn’t a lot better by any means, but it still hasn’t given me the same level of emotional turmoil so that’s good enough for me. Would you rather visit NYC, LA, or Chicago? Chicago. It’s been my dream city for a while, thanks to CM Punk and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Have you ever been to Chicago? I haven’t. Would you ever want to live in a big city? I do want to live in a big city; I want to end up living somewhere busy and where there’s lots of city noise, construction noise, trains, cars, etc. Considering I’ve always lived in gated villages, I’ve grown quite tired of how quiet and monotonous it can be here. Does your first crush know they were your first crush? Nah. We’ve also grown apart in the last decade so there’ll never be an appropriate time to raise it with her anymore. It’s just better off being a secret kept with me.

What color is your favorite laundry basket? I don’t have a favorite; the one I mainly use is brown. How old were you when you got your first smartphone? 17...I was a late bloomer lol. I broke so many phones before that so I understood my parents’ apprehension in getting me a smartphone. Before I had my own, Athenna would typically lend me her old 4S, back when she was still nice to me, and us. What is your favorite app on your phone? These days my favorite is Reddit as all other social media have been a little stressful to stay in. Reddit at least gives me a mix of everything, from the news, to funny content, to trivia, to interesting AskReddits, etc. What is the background on your phone? A shot of Beyoncé and Jay-Z on tour is my lock screen and Hayley Williams is my home screen. What is your favorite thing to do in the swimming pool? Just float around, lol. I don’t move a lot in swimming pools because I don’t like how chlorine-y/slimy most of them feel. I prefer to be at the beach. Do you have a swimming pool? No. What is the biggest city you've lived in (if you want to answer)? Manila. Do you own an American flag shirt? I don’t think so. I’m so not interested in one. Did you get your personality from your mom or your dad, or neither? I think it’s a mix of both. I got my shyness from my dad, but I can also be tense and uptight like my mom. Will you be eating bbq chicken this July 4th? I don’t care for that day. Would you rather wear red, white, or blue? I’d go with red, I find that it suits me best out of these three. Have you ever lit fireworks in your backyard? Not in the backyard but on the road outside of our house. It was New Year’s Eve and no one was driving that night anyway, so it was safe to put fireworks out on the street. Have you made many stupid decisions/mistakes? Of course. What does your middle name rhyme with? Carousel. Are there any redheads in your family? Nope. Who do you know who is allergic to nuts? Nah, just people from movies and shows I’ve watched hahaha. What is your favorite type of tree? I don’t really have a favorite tree. Are you superstitious? I’m just a tad bit neurotic about one superstition but otherwise I don’t believe in any other. Would you ever consider getting dreadlocks? No. When was the last time you drank tea? I think it was a few months ago when we were served free hot tea at North Park. Have you downloaded extra fonts for your computer? Just once, for layout class. Our class decided on a font that I didn’t have, so I had to get it from the internet.

Do you have photoshop? No. I have Indesign, though. What type of phone do you have? iPhone 8. What is one interesting fact about you? I had a green-blue birthmark on my right arm as an infant that never completely faded away, so I have a slight discoloration left on the same spot until now that looks black/greyish. What color are your walls? They are white. My mom gave us little say as to how we wanted our rooms to look like when they were first building them, so I had no choice even though I wanted baby blue walls. Who taught you how to drive a car? My dad taught me to drive around our village, then I also had brief lessons from a driving school when it came to driving on the highway. What is your favorite candy bar? Twix or Butterfinger. At what time of day do you feel the best? I’m on break from staying up late at the moment since I’m still recovering from my fever, but midnight beyond with my coffee and lofi music is my favorite period of the day. Are there a lot of mosquitoes where you live? Too many. Dengue is a common disease here. What does your swimsuit look like? Idk, I have several. Who is the latest great youtuber you've discovered? Haven’t really discovered anyone new lately. I’ve been on Netflix more these days, too.

Do you read the Bible regularly? Hard fucking pass on that. What color is your dresser? Brown.

Do you own any antique furniture? Welp, the aircon in my room is pretty antique hahaha it’s older than I am but still works like a charm. Other than that, all the antique furniture that I know of are in my grandma’s place, where they’ve always been. Would you ever want to live in a castle? I don’t think so. I want to live in a big place, but a castle isn’t my preferred style. What is your favorite cold drink from Starbucks? Caramel macchiatooooooo. Do you consider yourself "trendy"? Egh, only to a certain extent. I make sure I’m at least not outdated, but I also don’t feel the need to buy all the trendy things making the rounds. Name three patriotic songs you like. That is not my first or forty-eighth choice of music. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? Cookies and cream. Do you like your hair better long or short? Nowadays, short. Do you like your hair better curly or straight? Wavy. Which major holiday is closest to your birthday? Usually it’s Easter, no matter when the church decides it’s going to be. Have you ever had an outdoor birthday party? No, my parties have always been indoors. Has it ever snowed on your birthday? -600% chance of that happening. Do you like the way your name is spelled? Sure, I’m not complaining. I get more misspellings with it but then again it’s also commonly accepted as the feminine spelling of the name, so at least people don’t go around calling me Sir/Mr. Are you close with any of your cousins? I’m close with my first and most of my second cousins on my mom’s side. There’s some work to be done with cousins on my dad’s side, as we barely talk lol. We don’t dislike each other, we just live far from one another and have little in common to boot. Who is your favorite cousin? The eldest cousin on my mom’s side, who’s pretty much my older brother because of how close we are. Do you really think that light blonde is the best hair color? I never even thought that to begin with. Do you think that blue eyes are the prettiest? Idk, I like green ones the most.

[lovemesomesurveys]

Nickname; Just Steph, really. Oh, and “Sis” by my family. How many piercings do you have, and where? 2: 1 in each earlobe. What color are your eyes? Brown. And hair? Naturally dark brown, but I dye it red. Does orange look good on you? Can you pull it off? I don’t think any color looks good on me, but anyway I do have a couple orange shirts.

What do you do when it storms and the power’s out all night? That’s never happened, but I imagine I would just read on my phone or listen to Spotify until I fell asleep. What do you do with yourself when you’re at the beach? My mom, brother, and I like to go and just relax and chill. We don’t even really talk a whole lot, we just kinda zone out. She and my brother usually are lying down with headphones in or taking a nap while tanning, and I just get lost watching the ocean crash in and out and listening to the sound it makes. I just soak it all in. I love it. Are you shy, or no? Very. Have you ever been to St. Augustine? Nope. Have you ever been to Ocala? Nope. Have you ever just been to Florida? Nope. What about Indiana? Nope. Are you nosey? I mean, sometimes I want the “tea” as the kids say about certain things lol. I’ll see a vague status or tweet or something and want to know what it’s in reference to. I’m more nosey when it comes to celebrity gossip stuff, though. Do you “pry”? Well, like with my family I might ask about something in a general way and see what they offer up themselves. If I can tell they don’t want to talk about something then I don’t push it. If it’s someone I don’t know well then no, I don’t ask about it. I am guilty of trying to piece it together myself based on other tweets/statuses when possible, though... :x Why does everyone hate Justin Bieber so much? He did some stupid, douchey things in the past, but it seems he’s grown up now and living the married life. What’s your favorite commercial? I don’t care much for commercials. Do you find me annoying, yet? No. Who has the prettiest eyes you’ve ever seen? Alexander Skarsgard. I’m also quite envious of Paris Jackson’s eyes.  When’s the last time you pulled an all-nighter? I don’t recall. I don’t think I have at all this year thus far. They used to be pretty common for me, but now I can barely stay up until like 2.  What were you doing? During my all nighters? Just watching TV and on Tumblr and/or doing surveys, mostly. Sometimes I played The Sims or colored. Purple on guys; Yes, or no? I don’t care. Do you like Boys Like Girls? I was really into them at one point. Hero/Heroine was my favorite of theirs.  Do you actually try everything on before you buy it? I never do that. I rarely have an issue with something not fitting right anyway. Do you ever actually check the price? Always. I’m not rollin’ in the deep where I can just spend willy nilly.  What’s your favorite candle scent? I really love autumnal scented ones like Bath & Body Works has. Have you ever known anyone with a dog blind in one eye? My dog, Brandie, became blind during the last 3 years of her life due to diabetes.  You do, now. Sortof. Ah. Have you ever been friends with a forgein exchanged student? I don’t think I knew any. Was it sad when they went back to… wherever they came from? Have you ever been given any sort of ring? Yes, as gifts from my parents. The last one I received was a college class ring.  Do you know anyone that works at a tattoo shop? Nope. If you HAD to get a tattoo, what would it be, and where? I’ve wanted ‘free bird’ tattooed on my inner wrist for several years.  Do you own any lockets or charm bracelets? Yeah. The last dress you were in; What’d it look like? It’s white and teal. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? I never got into it. What’s your favorite nickname of yours? Like I said, I only have 2. What’s one of yours that you HATE? I don’t hate any of them. Maple or hazelnut flavoring? I like both. What’s your favorite Coke product? Coke. What’s the brand of your cell-phone, and the color? A coral Apple iPhone XR. What’s your favorite body-part on the opposite sex? I find that hands can be pretty attractive.  Are you now, or have you ever been, a cheerleader? Nope. Have you heard any of Eminem’s new Recovery songs? They’re not new now, but yeah. Favorite song lyrics; In general? I have too many. Watergun or water-balloon war? Water gun, I guess. I never enjoyed being hit with a water balloon. Have you ever watched Ugly Betty? I think I saw bits here and there. Would running into your ex right now be painful? It’d just be painfully awkward.  What’s the most annoying sound, ever? * Anything loud and beeping and repetitive. I also get rlly aggravated when the television is turned up too loud <<< Same! And eating sounds, like smacking, sucking, slurping.... aljfklsflsdfljks Are you typo-proned? No, but it happens sometimes. How do you feel about Lady GaGa? I like some of her songs. Are the rumors about her true? What rumors? Are you friends with any “trolls”? No. What would you get a boyfriend for his 17th birthday? I’m 30 years old, I wouldn’t be dating a 17 year old or have any idea what to suggest as a gift for one for someone else. Does your hair have a mind of it’s own? It does seem that way. It’s very annoying. Is Dane Cook really all that funny? I don’t think he is. I’m not that familiar with his comedy. Do you watch Glee? Nope. Do you ever shop at Fredflare.com? Nope. I’ve never even heard of it. Do you happen to know anyone named Matty? (Matthew or Matt will suffice) No. What’s he like? Are you always hyper? I’m never hyper. Do you know anyone that’s afraid of elevators? Not severely, but I kind of am, which sucks because I have to use them. Do you like country music? Yeah, some. Y'know. Like, “my mule left me for my sheepdog”; that sorta thing Har har. Do you know any scenesters?!?? Is that still a thing? I wouldn’t know, I’m old and out of the loop. Has any guy ever forgotten your name so often and exclusively that he just started calling you “girl”? Wow, no. Did you have to have braces for awhile, too? :[ Yes, but not for my teeth. Kisses on your cheek, or forehead? I think forehead kisses are cute if they’re from a guy I’m interested in. When’s the last time you wore facepaint? What’d it look like? I don’t recall. Do you still have a teddy-bear lying around somewhere? Not a teddy bear, but several giraffe stuffed animals all around my room. Are you a good-speller? I think so. Do you over-analyze everything, like me? Yeppp. Have you ever rode on the back of a moped? No. Do like Frank Sinatra? I like a couple of his songs. What about Cap'n Jazz? I’m not familiar with them. Is there anything in your room that belongs to a boyfriend, or a friend of the opposite sex? Nope. What’s the brand of the computer or laptop that you’re on? Apple. Are you sitting on your bed? Or a spinny chair?? I’m on my bed. Anyone you can’t get off your mind? No. Have a “bone to pick” with anyone? Nah. What does love feel like? Warm and fuzzy. haha. Who’s your favorite Beatle? I don’t have one. I’m not a big Beatles fan. Like, I like some of their songs, but eh. Does it annoy the hell out of you when people smoke around you? Ugh, yes. Do you like guys with long-ish hair? I personally like short hair on guys. How do you talk when you’re drunk? I usually became quite chatty. Have you ever texted an ex whilst drunk? How’d that go? Yeah. I don’t really remember how the conversation went, that was several years ago now. What do you order at Starbucks? Usually a venti white chocolate mocha with soy, sometimes a caramel macchiato with soy. During the fall and winter I like to get some of the seasonal drinks. Except for pumpkin spice. I know, I know. Shocking, right? Penn Station or Subway? I’ve never been to Penn Station, so I’ll go with Subway. People with addictions are weak. Brutal truth, or “falsies”? I wouldn’t say that at all. Do you have a “gunkle”, like me? [: No. The underwear you’re wearing right now; Describe it. They’re blue. When’s the last time you were on a swing? Not since I was a kid sometime. Whose hand did you last squeeze? My doggo’s. Have you ever actually tied string around a finger? Yes. Wouldn’t that be difficult? It wasn’t that hard. Have you ever been in a cornfield with a boylyfriend? (: “Boylyfriend”... And no. Does baby talk annoy you? No. What’s the last thing you wrote (or drew) on yourself? *shrug* That would have been a long time ago. Can you walk straight in heels? I can’t do that at all. Do you like Eskimo kisses? Sure. When’s the last time you sat (or did anything, I guess) on a rooftop? Never. I’d be way too scared to ever do that. Have you ever heard anyone call kissing “swappin’ spit”? Yeah. Do you have to stand on your tip-toes to kiss your boyfriend? No boyfriend. If I had one, they’d have to bend down to kiss me. Or, have you had to before? Think about your ex. Just do it. How do you feel? I don’t really feel anything regarding them. When’s the last time you lied in bed with the opposite sex. Who was it? I’ve never done that, actually. Have you ever been tackle-hugged? (: Yeah. Have you ever been tackle-hugged into a pool with all your clothes on? Omg, no. That would be very shitty thing to do since I can’t swim and I’m in a wheelchair. Do you own any heart-shaped glasses? Nope. Do you have any photographs on your walls? Yes. Do you own an Ugly Doll? [: No. I’ve never heard of those... Do you overuse :)s, like me? Nah. I don’t go emoji crazy. Do you overuse the word “like”, or “amazing”? Probably “like.” Do you have any crowns? No. Brunette dudes with bleach blonde hair are utterly unattractive. Yes? They can be. Is there anyone that you “see yourself in”, so to speak? No. What’d you last use scissors for? I don’t remember. Have you ever rejected someone’s kiss before? Yes. How well’d that go over with him? (Or her, I’m not judging) They just kept asking for one. Are you really over him, or are you just a great liar? I’m over any guy I’ve had feelings for the past. Whose grave did you last visit? My family members who have passed away have been cremated.  Do you have any polaroids? (pictures) Yeah, several. How many photo-albums do you have? A few. Do you scrapbook? Yes. Have you ever made a PostSecret book? Nope. Have you ever seen The Upside Down Show? No. Is it something children should really watch? I don’t know what it is. What about The Wiggles? I’ve seen parts of it before when my brother was little and yeah I recall it being fine for kids to watch. 

“Fruit salad, yummy, yummy.” Name a song that gives you goosebumps. Hmm. Is it wrong to call things “gay”? I think it’s insulting. What’s the most terrifying thing you’ve ever been through? Almost dying. Is there really such thing as a “chemical imbalance”? Uh, yes. Is love really just a chemical reaction? Sure.

[lilyhildegard]

TASK 004 ╳ THE ART OF A LETTER

Dear Biological .. Dear People Whom I Share Blood ..  To The Ones Who Gave Me Up,

Hello. If the beginning of this letter didn’t inform you who it’s from, let me remind you. Twenty-one years ago you made the choice to leave an infant of your own blood in the care of a complete stranger, and in her words, “begged” her to take it. Well, I am that child and my name is Lillian Aurora Hildegard. I’d like you to know that this isn’t the first letter I’ve written you. I’ve written countless of letters throughout the years, but never knew where to send them, so I didn’t. Those letters were far warmer than this. See, I was informed of my adoption at a young age. I was told the ones who conceived me died. Nothing anyone can do about that, all was good and well. I was too young to really understand the concept of death but old enough to understand I wasn’t harbored in my mother’s womb for nine months. As I grew older I became curios about certain differences I noticed between my family and I. Certain unexplainable events that seemed to happen around me. As a child I accepted the idea of coincidence, but in recent years I haven’t been so sure. Instead of asking my parents, I wrote you letters. Questions lined the pages from simple ones such as: Do I Have Cousins ? Is Everyone Blonde ? To ones far more personal, like: Do You Miss Me ? Is It My Fault ? Why Don’t You Care ? I wanted to meet you. I wanted to know you. Truth be told, I blamed Hayley for all my unanswered questions. You remember her don’t you ? Strong, brave, nurturing ? I’m sure you do. Well anyway, I thought she found me before you could find me and took away any chance I had to know you. Though I was angry with her, it never stopped me from trusting her. When she informed of how things truly played out, I believed her. Why would I want to know the kind of people who threw away an infant ? I might understand if I was a high maintenance toddler, which by the way I was, but I wasn’t even a year old and for some god forsaken reason you couldn’t manage me ?! Or didn’t want to. I hope I never grow to be as cowardly as you acted the day you relinquished me to Hayley. And you better hope we never come face to face ever again, because if we do, I will not hesitate to kill ever last one of you.

Cheers, Lily 

Dear Surrogates,

I do apologize if my calling you that is disrespectful on some level, but I have no memory of you. Not a picture, not even even a name. To be completely honest, I didn’t think of you at all as a child. The only reason I’ve thought of you these past few years is because I think something is wrong with me and unfortunately you two are the only ones that have the answer. There have been awful coincidences that have happened around me. My mums seem to be in denial. I just want to know if I’m cursed. I feel cursed. Did you happen upon some powerful beings and piss them off ? Is it hereditary ? Can I reverse it ? Is it dangerous to my family ? I don’t mind hurting other people, but I would rather die than have something horrid happen to my family. Especially knowing that I have something to do with it. Whether it is actually a curse or not, I can’t help but feel different. Not supernatural different, I live in a town with the most powerful super beings in the entire world, I do not feel alone in that sense. But I feel a huge disconnect when my mums treat me differently than the rest of my siblings. Don’t get me wrong, it’s always to my benefit, and I thoroughly enjoy getting my way, but there has to be a reason why. Am I dying ? Well, more than just vampire dead I mean. I have no one to talk to about this and I’m too afraid to get close to anyone I don’t have to due to this dark curse looming over me. I don’t want anyone I care about getting hurt. Hayley and I almost died once because of this great fire. Hayley is the one who saved me by the way. Anyway, it came out of nowhere but I felt something. It felt like I was doing it but I wasn’t focused, chanting, or doing anything remotely close to performing a spell that big. I was just, I don’t know, I was really emotional that night. Am I the cursed child ? I am aren’t I ? Even in a family as diverse as mine, I’m still alone. Who’s to say my family won’t turn my back on me when they find out what I am ? Do I belong anywhere ? I thought I knew, but now I’m not so sure. After reading that bit, I suppose you’re wondering why I don’t just ask my grandparents. Well, it’s because they are not in my life. They and the rest of the family were never in my life. It was they who decided to make me somebody else’s problem. Great parents you have there. Though my parents aren’t perfect, do trust that they are far superior to yours, in every way possible. I do hope the afterlife is treating you well. I’m sure you didn’t deserve the way your lives ended. Oh ! Sorry. I’m called Lily. I’m named after my late grandmother. Well, sort of. I guess you could say I’m second generation of adoptees in my family. I’m not quite sure what to say anymore due to the fact I’m basically talking to dead strangers. Thank you for making sure I survived, I am very grateful for that sacrifice. It must have been hard. By the way, I’m gay. Thought you should know.

Best Wishes, Lily

To My Dearest Family,

You finding this letter means I’ve run away. Wow no, I’m kidding. That was dramatic now wasn’t it ? LOL. Anyway, back to the point. I am writing you today because there are some things I cannot express verbally, even to you. I think I’m dying. No, seriously. I think I’m dying. Either that or I’ve been stuck in some purgatory in which my creative acts of entertainment and wit cannot escape. We must do something about this. As self-appointed in house representative of all that is demonic and slightly amusing, I should be allowed to destroy anything that doesn’t make me laugh. Speaking of which, should there be parameters in which I follow ? Or should it really just be a free for all ? Admittedly I favor the latter. Remember that boy who bullied me in elementary school because I didn’t have any friends ? I haven’t killed him yet. I’m waiting to play out some sort of fairy-tale situation. I was thinking stealing his first born and having it raised by fairies. I found some old notes hidden on my iphone ( and yet with all the technology this century has to offer I’m still writing a letter ) outlining an all but simple plan to lead to his demise. People think I’m scary now ? They should have peeked in my mind when I was a child. Even I’m scared of toddler me. Now, she, was mad. Not hard to believe, I did try and kill all of you at one point I’m sure. Well, everyone besides mums of course. And before you ( mum, mother ) think about punishing me for this confession, I do urge you to think about  what that will do to my view of being accepted when I come to you with the brutally honest truth. I’m just saying. Being on this brilliant track of honesty, can somebody please explain to me why it’s okay for people to have animals as pets and I can’t have a person as a pet ?? If you’re going to make the argument of people and higher learning, I have a very compelling counter argument in which I cite sources from the high school neanderthals. If you can teach a dog not to pee on the floor, what’s the excuse for teenage boys ? Also, I’d rather see a person tied up outside suffering in the summer heat than a precious little pup. Whoops, it has come to my attention that there are some people who keep humans as pets, they’re just called Assistants or Interns. Silly me, I’ll just get me one of those. I retract my previous question. As a closing statement, I’d just like to point out that I haven’t caused anyone harm or trouble in the past week so if you would please LET ME OUT OF MY ROOM, that would be greatly appreciated because like I said in the beginning of this letter, I am dying. If my phone, lap top, and the wifi password is not returned to me soon I will cease to exist. I have learnt my lesson, it is neither funny nor amusing to stick the heads of the JV cheerleading squad on wooden posts outside of the school gymnasium. ( Although I seem to remember when my punishment was being discussed that even mum acknowledged that it was just the JV team, it’s not like it was Varsity ) . Too soon ? Okay, never mind. If you hear me slamming around my room it is because the lead pencils keep breaking and I am forced to write this with the tiny bits of lead that survived which you can imagine, is very frustrating. Love you guys ! Please save me I’ll be good, promise ! 

Always and Forever, Lily

@tannerxhildegard | @witchiz | @kylehildegard | & mentions @cresxentqueen 

[skiasurveys]

old myspace surveyyy

1. Last beverage: Iced tea

2. Last phone call: My mom i believe

3. Last song you listened to: Closer- the chainsmokers ft halsey

4. Last time you cried: today 

5. Have you dated someone twice: kind of.  my current boyfriend and i dated before but it was only like  2 weeks and then we didnt date again til 5 months later, and now were still together which has been 15 months. i dont really consider he first time an actual relationship lmao

6. Have you ever been cheated on: Not that I am aware of.

7. Kissed someone & regretted it: eh, my first kiss was awful

8. Have you lost someone special: yeah my dad died.

9. What are your three favorite colors: lilac, cyan, pink

10. Met someone who changed you in the past month: not in the past month

11. Kissed anyone on your friends list: yeah

12. How many kids do you want: none.

13. Do you want any pets: i have two cats

14. Do you want to change your name: yeah i do

15. What did you do for your last birthday: Had dinner with my boyfriends parents, then had a small party with a few friends and my boyfriend, but that was it. Wasnt so lit.

16. What time did you wake up today:  i woke up at 10 am i think

17. Name something you CANNOT wait for: to finally move out

18. Last time you saw your mother: um. like 10 minutes ago lol

19. Most visited webpage: youtube

20. Nicknames: Jen, Babygirl, i dont really have nicknames that much

21. Relationship status: Taken

22. Zodiac sign: Sagittarius 

23. Male or female: female

24. Height: 5′1 

25. Do you have a crush on someone: my boyfriend 

26. Piercings: I got my ears pierced when i was 18 but i took it out apparently too soon and they shut.  I am going to get them redone but im just lazy

27. Tattoos: none as of now

28. Strong or Weak:  physically or emotionally..haha..

FIRSTS

29. First surgery: wisdom teeth

30. First best friend:  Eric or Reis 

31. First sport you joined: softball when i was 7/8

32. First vacation: British columbia when  i was 4/5

33. First school: Joseph welsh 

34. First pair of trainers: If trainers you mean shoes but in a british lingo..uhh i dont know. DC shoes? those ugly fat skater shoes.

WHICH IS BETTER

35. Lips or eyes: eyes

36. Hugs or kisses: honestly both, but idk it depends. sometimes i love hugs because i like feeling him hold me and against me , but kisses are so sweet

37. Shorter or taller: taller

38. Older or younger: older

39. Romantic or spontaneous: both

40. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive.

41. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship.

42. Shy or outgoing: a bit of both. im really outgoing so in a relationship it doesnt matter for me. but i dont really like people who cant make conversations at all..

HAVE YOU EVER

43. Kissed a stranger: I dont think so.

44. Gotten a speeding ticket: No

45. Lost glasses/contacts: i dont wear glasses or contacts

46. Sex on first date: nope. but oral sex yeah.

47. Broken someone’s heart:  i have but whatever.

48. Been arrested: No

49. Have you turned someone down:  yeah but thats cause this dude wouldnt stop trying to date me and the funny part is he didnt even live in the same fucking city as me so idk why he kept trying so hard. I also had a dude back in highschool who i still chat with try to date me but ive turned him down couple of times but he knows now.

50. Fallen for a friend: not really.

51. Moved out of town: no

BELIEVE IN

52. Miracles: ehhh

53. Love at first sight: no. but i mean i know when i first met my boyfriend i was like oh hell yeah. but its not love.

54. Heaven: yeah

55. Santa Claus:  no and never have.

56. Kiss on the first date:  sure. ive done it. idk how you cant believe in a kiss?? lmao

57. Angels:  yeah

58. Yourself: no

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY

59. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: no.

60. Been in love with someone you couldn’t be with?: yeah but not “in love”.

61. Ever cheated on somebody: No i am not a cunt.

62. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: i would love to relive my first date with Connor, i dont know why. i wouldnt change anything but that day was really awesome.

63. Are you afraid of falling in love: No. 

64. Was your last relationship a mistake?  well i guess, since i am in a different one right? it wasnt a mistake per-say but he was a waste of time. 

65. Do you miss your last relationship? god no.

66. Who did you last say “i love you” to?

connor, the other day <3

67. Have you ever been depressed?  yeah i have depression.

68. Are you insecure? yeah but im getting better.

69. How do you want to die? in my bed, while asleep.

70. Do you bite your nails?  lol i am currently.

71. When was your last physical fight? Ive never really had one.

72. Do you have an attitude? yeah. i can have one.

73. Twirl or cut your spaghetti? twirl if i ever eat it. i hate spaghetti. Connor loves it though..

74. Do you tan a lot? eh no

75. Ever eaten food in a car while someone or you are driving? yeah usually while on a trip

76. Ever made out in a bathroom? yeah.

77. Would you take any of your exes back? Not at all! Barf.

78. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? depends on the time.

79. What are your plans for this weekend? it is the weekend currently, nothing is planned.

80. Do you type fast? yeah

81. Can you spell well?  i think i do.

82: What are you craving right now? nothing actually.

83. Have you ever been on a horse? yeah a few times.

84. Would you live with someone without marrying them?  yeah my boyfriend lmao

85. What’s irritating you right now? my dry skin atm.

86. Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts? yeah.

87. Does somebody love you? yeah my man does. lmao

88. Have you ever changed clothes in a car? a few times

89. Milk chocolate or white chocolate?  milk. white chocolate is nasty

90. Do you have trust issues?  i kind of do.

91. Longest relationship? my one i am in currently which so far is a one year and 3 months

92: Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you? i am sure he thinks about me every so often, i mean i sometimes think about them for no reason and not the “i miss you” thinking just like something reminds me of them or whatver. Im sure they think of me sometime. i dont really care lol

93. Have you ever walked outside in your PJs? yah lol

94. Do you believe everything happens for a reason? no

95. Did you have dream last night?  yeah i dont remember it anymore

96. Have you ever been out of state? yeah

97. Do you play the Wii? eh not anymore. i dont like the wii or the wii u, i tried to like the nintendo products but i am more into Playstation ;)

98. Do you like Chinese food?  i do

99. Are you afraid of the dark?  sometimes

100. Is cheating ever okay? No.

101. What year has been your best? 2015 so far and 2016 wasnt really so bad.

102. Do you believe in true love? yeah i guess

103. Favorite weather? fall weather. where its warm but kind of cloudy, where you can wear whatever you want and you wont be too cold or too warm. 

104. Do you like the snow? NO

105. Do you like the outside? yeah i do.

106. Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? yeah i like when connor does

107. Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight? yes

108. What makes you happy? cats

109. Ever been to Alaska? no

110. Ever been to Hawaii? no 

111. Do you watch the news? usually like to keep an eye on whats happening with the world. like now.

112. Do you love MTV? no

113. Do you like subway? yeah but its not my fav anymore. but i do crave it randomly

114 Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? no lol were dating.

115. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? well my best friend of the opposite sex is my boyfriend..so...

116. Why did you decide to do this quiz? im bored

117. Have you ever seen someone you knew and purposely avoided them? yeah actually one time my mom and i were shopping and we saw this crazy lady that we know. and so we kept avoiding here while we were grocery shopping and we actually got away lol thank god. she is so annoying. When my dad died she told my mom she had to get rid of his pictures. like mcfuck off.

118. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? yeah a few 

119. Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? connor

120. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Jennifer

121. Ever bought condoms? no. we dont use condoms 

122. Ever gotten pregnant? No. thank god

123. Have you ever slipped on ice? im sure

124 Have you ever missed the bus? yeah

125. Have you left the house without money? i have once. i was working too and on my break i was heading to get food and then i realized i forgot my wallet. -___-

126. Have you ever smoked cigarettes? no. just weed.

127. Have you ever smoked a cigar? no 

128. Did you ever drink alcohol? yeah of course.

129. Did you ever watch “The Breakfast Club”?  yes. one of my favs

130. Have you ever been overweight? last year i went on medication that made me gain 20 pounds, but i lost all that weight now thank god. I wasnt over weight but i was kind of chubby. Im back to my skinny-self thank god! 

131. Ever been to a wedding? yeah

132. Ever been in a wedding? yeah my cousin got married in 2013 and asked my sister and i to be apart of it. worst idea ever. We werent really apart of it. she had her friends in it and my sister and i were just kind of the side bridemaids..yah weird.

133. Have you ever been on the computer for 5 hours straight? yeah back when i didnt have an ipad or iphone.

134. Did you ever watch TV for 5 hours straight?  i sometimes binge netflix when im with my boyfriend

135. Ever kissed in the rain? no

136. Did you ever shower with someone else? yeah i have with my boyfriend. it was really intimate lol

137. Did you ever fail a driver’s test?  i have only ever failed the written exam where they ask you all that stupid shit and you have to remember speed and signs. but my actualy drivig test, i passed first try!

138. Ever been outside your home country? yeah to canada

139. Ever been on a road trip longer than 5 hours? yeah we used to drive to vancouver or south BC which would take 13 hours.

140. Ever been to a professional sports game? NO

141. Have you ever broken a bone? no surprisingly i havent. even though i got hit by a car..

142. Did you ever win a trophy in your life? no :(

143. Ever get engaged? no

144. Have you ever been on a diet? kind of.

145. Have you ever been on TV? kind of. not really.

146. Ever ridden in a taxi? yeah. with my boyfriend, its really awkward and weird...

147. Ever been to prom? we dont have prom here in canada but we do get dressed up in nice dresses and have dinner and a dance, but not prom. But yeah i did go.

148. Ever stayed up for 24 hours or more? yeah i think 2 days 

149 Have you ever been to a concert? yeah. my first was...Jonas brothers...BARFFF. thanks 12 year old me -.-

150. Have you ever had a crush on someone at work? i did have a little crush on the security guard. but not a big crush.

151. Have you ever been in a car accident?  i got hit by a car

152. Ever had braces? yeah from 12-14. (gr.6-8)

153. Did you ever learn another language? i tried french. but i cant speak it. i gave up. I wish i could learn something different.

154. Do you wear make-up? yeah. 

155. Did you ever have your wisdom teeth taken out? yeah when i was 18 i got put completely out and had surgery to get them out.

156. Did you ever kiss someone a different race than yourself? yeah. 

157. Ever dyed your hair? yeah ive dyed it reddish, darker brown, fire ombre (look it up it was awesome), blonde, ash blonde, blonde with purple tips and then now i just dyed it back to brown which is its natural colour. i like it blonde but im starting to like it back at its natural state.

158. Did you ever wear someone else’s clothes? yeah ive worn my sisters clothes

159. Ever ridden in an ambulance? no

160. Ever ridden in a helicopter? no

161. Ever caught the stove on fire? no

162. Ever meet someone famous? no

163. Ever been on an airplane? yeah i was only on a plane from here (canada) to california and back. but thats it. my first time it was really nerve-racking, but on the way back it was chill. i dont like being that high up lol

164. Ever been on a boat? yeah a few times. its kay

165. Ever broken something expensive? no

166. Did you ever kiss someone before you were 14? no. my first actual kiss wasnt til i was 18..lol

167. Did you ever find something valuable on the ground? yeah my fucking life.

[plutonian-honey]

1-104 for the question thing

Lol u wild wyd though also im gonna do it so rip ur feed xoxoxo

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?“Yikes g’day”

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?It’s bloody awkward because I found out after that he’s literally my worst nightmare of a person.

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?Depends on the drug because like weed no I wouldnt but like bath salts yeah maybe a little bit

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?It’s spot on 6 letters amazing

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?Sober

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?Who hasn’t

7. What does your last received text say?“Like 13 dollars an hour who?”

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?Once

9. Where was your last kiss at?His house

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?Fuckin weeks I miss her

11. What do you drink in the morning?Energy drinks tbh

12. Where did you sleep last night?My bed

13. Do you think relationships are hard?Yes

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?Yes x1029242

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?No it’s fine but like uGh get me out

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?Rainy

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?Nope

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?Jeans

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?Maybe

20. Does anyone like you?I have literally no idea

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?Yes but it was my best friend and a peck so idk if it counts Lol I kiss everyone

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?Maybe dunno

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?Hahahahahahhahah many

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?Yes aggressively

25. In the past week have you cried?Nope

26. What breed was the last dog you saw? I don’t know but it was small and white and curly

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?Out

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?Nope

29. Do you think you’re old?Nope

30. Do you like text messaging?Yes I hate phone calls

31. What type of day are you having?Pretty average tbh

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?Yes aggressively

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?Cold

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?Not outside of my family

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?I am not sure both have different pros and cons

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?Complicated I reckon but idk

37. What song are you listening to?Twilight Driving by Methyl Ethel

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?Not usually39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?Yes she my best friend and the only person I tell anything love u40. What made you start liking the person you like now?Idk I just like him41. When did you last receive a text message?11pm last night42. What is wrong with you right now?That is a very broad question43. How well do you know the last female you texted?She my best friend love her44. Does anyone disgust you?Yes very much so one person in particular I hate you45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?Depends on who it is but if it is one particular person, yes46. Are you in a good mood right now?Yeah 47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?My brother48. What color shirt are you wearing?Grey w/ the avalanches on it love u avos49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?Literally all the time every day50. Anyone you’re giving up on?Yes 51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?Not at all

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?No, I just do it53. Do you like rain?Very much so 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?No bc I drink55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?Yes 56. Do you like to cuddle?Sure57. Are you shy?Not really 58. Do you get along with girls?Yes mostly59. Have you dated the person you texted last?Nope  60. What do you carry with you at all times?My phone tbh 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?Hahahaha bitch i’d do it for free 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?Yes I think I could but relationships are mutual so they also  would have to want it there’s no point in putting effort into something that isnt wanted 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?Nope 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?I feel indifferent65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?Not really anything memorable

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?18, 24 and 18

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?    neither I hate my nails being “done”68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?   I suppose zebra 69. Do you have any stickers on your car?  Nope but I have them all over my laptop :’)  70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?    Lil Wayne71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?    iPhone72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?    Idk man bloody ages I’m a dominos lady73. Do you like diet soda?    Nah go big or go home74. What color are the walls in your room?   White75. Are you 16 or older?    Sure am76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?    I used to77. Do you have a job?    Sure do  78. What are your initials?   CEL79. Did you ever have braces? Nope   80. Are you from the south?    I am Australian so u could say I’m from the south of hte woRLD LOL

81. What does your last status on facebook say?    Nothing its just a funny vid lol82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?   Nope 83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?    Mother84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?    Nope85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?    Rings86. Do you smoke?    Rarely87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?    Flip flops88. Is your phone touch screen?    Sure is89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?    Curly bc it’s naturally curly and i dont have time to straighten it

90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?    Nope91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?    Pool92. Have you ever made out in a car?  Don’t think I have actually  93. …Had sex in a car?    Nope94. Are you single or in a relationship?    Single95. What were you doing last night at midnight?   those aesthetic/moodboards96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?    NYE97. Do you like the camera on your phone?    Yeah its ok98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?    Nope99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?  Nope but I have blacked out so idk whats worse  100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?    Yes101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?    Nope102. Name your favorite Kesha song: Blah Blah Blah   103. Do you have any tan lines right now?   Yeah prob i dont pay much attention 

104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? Literally never

[iheartsurveys]

110

Are any of your friendships on a fine line? No

If I search your room will I find birth control? Yep

Do you expect any of your ex’s to call or text you? Not really, though bren & I sort of reconciled over the weekend. But probably not enough to like text each other, considering I don’t have his phone number anymore and I doubt he has mind lolz. But I think we’re good now in that if we hang out with our mutual friends we’ll be fine. Which makes me happy since before we were whatever we were, he was a really good friend

Have you ever witnessed a birth? Nope

Where’s your favorite place to be when you feel depressed? My bed

Are you currently looking forward to tomorrow? No because I have to get up early af to go to the doctor

When was the last time you held someone’s hand? Saturday probably

Have you ever faked sick? Yeah

Do you wear hoodies to bed? Nah. If I’m cold I’ll wear a long sleeve

Are you currently wearing jeans? No

Do you buy eggnog around the holidays? Nope not a fan

Have you gone to a coffee shop within the past week? [i.e. Starbucks] Dunkin

Would you like to be able to read thoughts? Yes and no. I’d do it selectively.

Are you often the last one to understand a joke? No

Does playing the guitar make a guy more attractive? Eh it depends really

Have you ever slept in a tent, indoors or out? Yes

What does your hair look like at the moment? Down and kind of crazy. I let it air dry after I showered so it’s a crazy straight/wavy combo

Are you mad right now? I’m a little annoyed tbh

Did you eat a cookie today? No but I had some cake lol. I’m so funny I complain about gaining weight and then I’m like Oooh cake. Which isn’t helping my cause since I can’t work out until I know wtf is going on with my foot

Have you heard of wreck this journal? I have

Do you know any one who lives in California? Yeah some sorority sisters are from CA

Have you ever been told you were a good writer? Yes

What do you put on your baked potatoes? Sour cream, shredded cheese, and chives. << And bacon bits. << and a little salt & pepper

Have you ever been on a farm? Yep

Last three texts on your phone are from? My group chat

What are you listening to? Nothing

Are you one to take naps? I love a good nap. Especially on like a Sunday afternoon or when it’s raining out man naps are great

Did you ever have braces? Yep

Have you kissed anyone in the last five days? Nope

Are you afraid of flying? I kind of love flying, except when there’s turbulence. When I went to Italy the flight was sooo bumpy and I was lowkey freaking out because we were over the ocean and I was like omg what if we crash, because that’s just my life with anxiety

Do you have freckles? I do. Not a ton but I do have freckles everywhere pretty much

Do you have plans for today? Go to bed, probs after this

Would you rather date someone five years older or five years younger than you? Older. Not really into dating a 17 yr old tbh. Or anyone younger than 21 for that matter

Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed? Because we’re not a thing anymore

If you had to live off one type of fruit, which would you pick? Strawberries

What were you doing at 7:45AM this morning? Sleeping

What was the last thing you drank? Chocolate milk

Where did you get the shirt your wearing? It’s a srat shirt

Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow? No because I’m going to the doctor v early

What exactly are you wearing now? Cropped leggings and a srat long sleeve

Is it awkward when you run into your ex? I don’t run into them ever really since 2 don’t live near me and Andrew is still at school and though I’ve been back quite a few times this year I’ve only seen him at homecoming. Which was a little weird, not gonna lie. We just waved at each other. But it’s whatevz I don’t care

How often do you drink Monster? I had my first and my last freshman year of high school. I don’t really drink energy drinks often but if I do I’d rather have a red bull

Are you easy to get along with? I think so

Are you short? Nope I’m 5'9, aka tall af. At least compared to most of my friends

Can you ever get enough of mac ‘n’ cheese? I loooove Mac n cheese but I don’t want to eat it all the time, then the novelty wears off

Are you allergic to nuts or dairy products? No

Do you have trust issues? Yep

Do you think age matters in relationships? Yes, somewhat. Don’t be old w an underage partner because that’s gross. Annnnd yeah that’s mainly it. Personally I would never date someone I had a huge age gap with because that’s just me. Like now, being 22 almost 23, I wouldn’t date anyone in their 30s because I don’t have my life together and they probably would and idk I feel like we wouldn’t have too much in common. But again that’s just me, you do you boo.

Do you have any regrets? Oh yeah

Has anyone ever called the cops on you? Nope not me specifically or even my house/dorm. I’ve been to parties where the cops were called though

How old are you? 22

Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? Nope

Do you go to church every Sunday? No

Do you like your height? I could be like 2 inches shorter and be happy

Is the last person of the opposite sex you texted single? No

Could you go a week without brushing your teeth? No

What day is it? Wednesday Are you usually awake by midnight? Most of the time. Sometimes I go to bed around 11 ish though

Does it get really cold where you live? It can but it hasn’t really this year. Like it’s mid February in NoVA it shouldn’t be in the 60s……. And stupid Donald thinks global warming is a hoax made up by the Chinese…I h8 that man

When you get home from school/work do you change into your pjs right away? No

Have you ever been peer pressured to smoke pot? No

Have you ever played the game Sims 3? Yep

What is the temperature currently in the town you live in? 36. Don’t be fooled though it’s going to be in the 60s this weekend

Do you ever actually drink milk alone? Nope

If you don’t have one already, would you consider getting an iPhone? I need a new one

What year were you born in? 94

[plogan721]

Tech Wars: Time to get an upgrade Part 2

Disclaimer: P. Lynne Designs is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

This is the camera edition of “Tablet Wars: Time to get an upgrade”.  In the last “Time to Get an Upgrade”, dated June 13, 2015, I talked about upgrading my Ipad and my phone.  What had happened at that time:  I was grocery shopping.  Grocery delivery had not come to my area and I needed some vittles (southern talk for food-trying to be funny, bear with me, people).  Anyway, I knew it was about to storm, but it looked like it was so far away. 

Photo by: NDTV Gadgets

If you know anything about Ohio weather, you know that it could be sunny one minute, raining the next, followed by snow, sleet, and hail, topped off by a tornado warning in a split second.  I can see some of you from other states nodding your heads as well. Anyway, I thought I was safe.

The purse I was carrying at the time had pockets on the side and for convenience,   I went into the store, grabbed a cart, and started shopping.  In the middle of my grocery shopping, down came the rain.  I was not too worried because I thought that the rain would stop by the time I checked out, but I started to hurry.

I carried my Samsung Galaxy SIII in one of the pockets.

I paid for the groceries and started outside, but stopped because the rain was harder than before.  My car was too far away to do a full sprint to it, but I attempted when it lightens up.  Running to the car I go, popped the truck, grabbed my purse to toss inside to the passenger side of the car, not thinking that the USB hole on my phone was exposed to all that water.  I tossed the groceries in and left.  No worries (at least I thought).

I got home, put the groceries in the house, then put them away.  I thought that I had to turn off my phone, but it died from all that water going inside.  I took the battery out, put it in rice, and let the rest of the phone air out.  I could not believe it, my precious phone, gone.  The rest of the story is on that blog post, and even though it is an old post, it is still a good read.  I even upgraded my Ipad the day I upgraded the phone.  The bad side of the story was getting the bill, which Verizon charged more than I was willing to pay when the rep told me another price. 

For today’s Post

I am interested in another phone.  The one that replaced the SIII phone is dying a slow, painful death.  It is slow, and it is painful for me to watch as I decide to take a picture, video, or add a new app, and the memory isn’t there to support my forever growing social media presence.  I want the new Galaxy 9 phone, but the money does not support it, and not only that, my dad is the owner of the account and told me to forget about getting a phone anytime soon.  Same goes if I decide to switch up and get an Iphone.

I also need a new Ipad. The current one is still ok, and I still can do all the things, except drawing.  I can draw on it, but I do not have the proper stylus.  Plus, I would love to hook it up to the new laptop or the desktop, then I can see what I am drawing.  Enter the New Apple Mini Ipad 5, which I played with today at the Apple Store.  I was asking about a stylus that I could draw with my current mini Ipad, and the rep pointed me to another person who showed me the Ipad 5.  I love the price, $389, which is the same price as my Cricut Maker, and actually, come to think of it, the current Mini Ipad.  I also love that I do not have to pay for the Procreate software that I would have to get for my current Ipad. ($9.99, yikes!!!)

Last, I need a new camera.  The last camera, which was a baby camera (I will call Pocket), is lost somewhere in the condo.  This is how tiny it is or was, I cannot decide which is which, and it depends on if I can find it or not.  If I can, then it will be a backup camera, but if not, Oh well, I am not crying over a lost tiny camera.

I have been thinking about getting the Canon G7x, Mark II camera or the Canon Powershot Camera.  I tend to get cameras that I am familiar with or have heard good reviews on.  The Cannon G7x, Mark II camera is currently being used by one of my favorite YouTube families, Gabe and Chad Rader, and have been using it for a couple of years with success.  The only problem has been for them was Chad accidentally leaving the camera on the top of the family car and driving off.  The camera immediately fell off, and the screen broke.  Yep, sounds like me, but lucky for them, they have a warranty, and Gabe (as is Gabrielle) seen off the camera this week for a replacement.   I would also choose the Powershot Camera because at $369 it is a cheaper version than the Mark II’s $669.  I am not sure I will be taking that many pictures between now and my trip to Disney later in the year.

 Yes, I did it….

Photo by: www.wdwsecrets.com

I am creating a new series over on my At Home with Tricia's Baskets blog and it is properly (I think) says, “I’m Going to Disney World”.  The story starts like this:  Have you ever wanted something so bad until you can taste it? Well, that has been me for the past 8.5 years.  (as long as my youngest nephew has been alive, he will be 9 in August.) This trip was actually 16 years in the making.  I started planning my next trip (in my head) at the end of our last trip in 2004.  We went in 2007 to Disneyland, but it was part of the California trip.  If you are a true Disney fan, you know that any trip to Disney is not a proper trip if you add on going outside of the park, but while me, my oldest nephew (then 11), and my mom were at Disneyland, my dad took in a Dodgers game.  It worked out for all of us.  My sister was at home tending to my middle nephew, who was 2 months old at the time, and not able to travel.  Tip: ladies, your little one can get on the plane at 3 months.  He was so cute in the Disneyland onesie I bought him.  Now at 12, I think he is a little bit too big for it, LOL.  We flew out on one of the now defunct airlines, which I forgot the name of.

Anyway, sidetrack moment, and a good lead-in.

I do not give out full trip details for privacy reasons (See protect yourself from Unwanted viewers-July 23, 2018). I will say that I and the family, minus three dogs (Strype, Chewy, and Duchess) and a cat (Gizmo) will be staying in a 3-bedroom Grand Villa at Bay Lake Towers at Disney World.  It is part of a package deal that includes the deluxe dining plan. 

To get details on the series, go to At Home with Tricia's Baskets soon.

My only takeaway tip for today is to research what you need and watch your camera budget. Sometimes suggestions are just that…. suggestions.  It could be that these cameras are out of your price range.  That is ok.  There are plenty of camera choices out there but go in knowing what your price range is, what you plan on doing with the camera.  Is it for photography?  For videos? What about both? For this, my plan is for all of it, but I need a phone that allows me to do Instagram and Pinterest posts as well.

As for trips, the same thing.  You do not have to go to Disney, nor have my package.  I will give more details on how I got my package in the first place, and how you can get it cheaper at a later time on both this blog and on At Home with Tricia's Baskets.

Until then, I will have to clean out my phone.  Goodbye and God Bless.

from Blogger http://bit.ly/2IlIm5V via IFTTT

[thiswasasuperterribleidea]

Just gonna draft an email real quick...

Maybe hi? So..this email is associated with your contact in my phone. I have no idea how or why, or if it’s even one you use. I have no idea if it’s a valid email.  I have no idea how it got there because I know I’ve never communicated to you through it before. But ...it’s here, because iPhones are too smart, and it’s very creepy. I have no idea if you read your emails or not. I usually don’t even open mine. I automatically check them all as read and move on with my day. Unless I’m looking for something specifically, or a good sale comes along and makes me go online shopping. So I have no idea if you will ever receive this. Or ever read it if it is received. Maybe you will notice it and just delete it entirely. Maybe you think it’s spam. I did give it a weird subject name... I’ll never know. That gives me a little bit of anxiety...but I hope this story book email finds its way to you and you read it. I can promise you one thing, it’s not what you think it’s about... and hopefully you find the time at some point to read it for what it’s worth not as a “how the fuck does this girl have my email now?”.... cause I truthfully don’t even know the answer to that lol. I’ve been to counseling a few times. I explained the anxiety I developed from being blocked. She told me to send a letter. I told her I don’t know your apartment number to mail it , and that you probably have nightmares of me showing up to your complex, and  that because of that reasons I wouldn’t drop it off in the mailbox myself lol.  She then suggested writing emails. She told me what I just said up there...I’ll never know if you get them or not. But it’s a good way for me to decompress my brain. So here’s my email!!  I’ve been doing really well! I want you to know ! I’m finally becoming happy again! I almost said becoming myself again... but it’s not again. It’s that I’m finally becoming myself ! I’ve been working on myself a lot. Ive reconnected with a lot of my old friends. People I always forgot to check in on regularly in the past year and a half. I felt really bad about it once I’d realized how much I distanced myself from such good people. At first it was like I was only coming back around because I was going through a hard time. I was really guilty for a while. Guilty in terms of that, in terms of blaming myself for why we ended.... But I’m so happy to be back in touch with everyone that I felt I had no time for before. I learned how to make time for everything and everyone important, not just one person important to me. I’m really excited about that.  I’ve even met a couple of new people who’s  company I enjoy a lot. This is huge for me, because meeting new people wasn’t ever something I was good at. I still live with danielle. I learned to sleep alone when she’s not here and to not check the door 8 times to make sure it’s locked. I learned to be alone, which is also something I was never good at. Oh, and my coolest update yet is that I started a blog! Dwight gave me the idea a while ago. He told me I should write a book lol. He told me my life is too entertaining right now, so I started a blog to share my craziness that I’m finally embracing. I don’t understand how blogs work or how people market for them. But I know I have one, and I know a lot of people found it in the past month, and a lot of people laugh because of it . I feel like I’m helping strangers a lot. They relate and laugh at my insane things and tricks I tried to play. But it’s also teaching them self control that I didn’t have.  It’s funny because it’s like I’m just this random typically emotionally unstable girl giving advice to strangers through a heartbreak and they love it... when in reality I shouldn’t be allowed to give advice to anyyyone and people should not want to listen to me lol. It’s so funny.  It’s like I’m low key famous. Maybe they’ll pay me soon. If they do I’ll be sure to thank you! It feels really good to be able to embrace my situation and find a way to take something I wasn’t originally happy with and make it something positive. While I have been doing well, I still have my lows. Sunday wasn’t a good day for me and neither was yesterday. It’s weird . It’s like the universe truly knows when you’re doing well... so something comes and punches you in the face real fucking hard to really see how well you’re TRULY doing. Life is just so many tests. Sunday morning I woke up to a text from Katie. She was out at Geronimos and saw you on a date. She told me she hated to be the bearer of bad news, but she thought I should know. I hate her for telling me that. I was doing so well moving on. I would have been so much better off not having any idea. It set me back. She told me you were laughing and having a great time... with a pretty girl. That you were very comfortable with her. I originally prayed it was Nicole. I wished it was you with your friend. Of course I asked. I didn’t want to assume you were on a date. I try to assume as little as possible and be as rational as I could be now. Most importantly I didn’t want to lose the self control I built while being blocked and text you losing my mind... especially if I was wrong.  But she said she was absolutely sure it wasn’t Nicole.  She said she saw you leaving holding hands with your new GIRLFRIEND. As soon as she mentioned holding hands... I knew what you did that night. I knew you weren’t just out with any random girl and holding hands... but Katie calling her your girlfriend pushed me over the edge. So I relapsed. I texted Nolan. I asked Dwight if he knew. And I tried to ask you myself. I know I didn’t need to ask you what I already knew the answer to. I knew it wasn’t my business anyway I unfortunately just had it dropped on me. I still don’t think Katie needed to tell me what she saw. But I don’t want you thinking I’m some stalker with eyes on you at all times. I’m sure that’s how you I assumed I knew... I wish Katie saw you and didn’t tell me about it. Id be doing a lot better without the setback. I know it’s been a few months. I know you did nothing wrong. I know you just moved on faster than I did. I’m not sure how to put the idea in your head since I don’t have the same effect on you that you had on me.  But try to picture someone you spent the past year and a half with and you personally wanted to spend another year and a half with and make better than the prior. Maybe your ex before me... And then picture them in bed with someone else what feels like so soon to you....The bed you used to lay in almost every night... but now they’re laying with someone else... being touched by someone else...Inside someone else. Remembering everything done between us.. knowing now someone else- someone maybe better... is doing that for you now. Knowing perfectly well, that once that happened... you cut all ties and all emotions with me. That you just didn’t care about me anymore. I was replaced . I get it, it’s part of life. But it cuts like a knife. Especially when you just started doing well... I know you think I’m crazy, but it is nothing but natural for that to eat at a person. It’s every ex’s worst nightmare. Are you in love again already? Was it a rebound without feelings? Was it the best you’ve ever had? ...hoping it was mediocre... but knowing it probably wasn't. Those aren’t Francesca’s crazy thoughts, those are a normal human beings thoughts. As I continue meeting new people, and pick my next person... those thoughts will eventually disappear. But Sunday, they were there.  So I am sorry for relapsing. No matter what pain it brought me, I know you weren’t happy with me, and I am happy as long as she is making you happy in the ways I never did. I was never mad. Throughout the time you’ve had me blocked, I finally came to my senses. I realized while I was in love with you, I too realized you weren’t the one for me. That doesn’t mean knowing you’re with someone else who maybe is your one doesn’t knock the wind out of me. Which is also normal. While I struggled at work for a bit while going through this, and tormented my team...I managed to get back on top of things. I missed top ABM in August by 1 point when things were real bad, solely because of my personal sales. So... in September I made sure to kill it and came through #1. So that was exciting. I’m going to 7c, which I wouldn’t call exciting but I’ll try to make the best of it on my new little island. It’s weird.For some reason, I thought when my email rolled, either for 7c or for top abm that you would text me calling a truce. Saying congrats ... hopefully you have some more self control now... let’s keep it civil. If not an unblock then I honestly expected an email from you. I just want you to know where I’m at right now, and not hearing from you through either of those moments hurt more than finding out you are with someone else... don’t get me wrong, I get it. You were loyal to me, and I’m sure your new girl doesn’t want you communicating to your ex in anyway. I wouldn’t want that either... but it really put me in my place that you really don’t care about me anymore. And that really hit me like a ton of bricks. After a whole year and a half of almost everyday spent together, you cut me off and moved on like I never even existed... it’s crazy because I know that tends to happen with some relationships. But I thought ours was different. While we didn’t work out, and weren’t meant to be together ... I thought we mutually still cared about eachother. I thought we still would wish eachother congrats when they were due...Dwight told me you arent unblocking me when I go to 7c. It’s so disappointing to know that after all we have been through together, that you have 0 intention to ever unblock and speak a word to me again... it’s hard to process how blindsighted I was.  I never thought you would want to delete me in ever humanly way possible. Its a lot to accept. Darren, I will probably always have some type of feelings for you... but I have realized that I too, am not in love with you anymore. I did think you were someone different, and while I know my personal mistakes I’ve realized a lot more flaws in you too. You aren’t who I thought you were... well maybe you are that person... just not with me. But I have no hard feelings. I still find it shocking for you to not care about me at all.... I know I became intensely frustrating, but we had a strong past... but I have no hard feelings. If you took the time to read this, I appreciate it . But at this point I want nothing more than to be civil professional acquaintances at work.  And I want to reassure you that can be a thing. I have said everything I could possibly think of here. If you read this and are thoughtful enough to just acknowledge to me that you got it , I would appreciate it. I don’t see you doing that either way, but that would be cool. I would love for you to comment on anyyy of what I said and have a civil conversation with me before seeing eachother at whatever work function.. just so it isnt tense . It’s time for me to act like an adult... thank you for maybe taking the time to read ?  I just want you to know.... I’m doing a lot better... Xo francesca 

[purplesurveys]

128

How do you feel about fire drills? They’re necessary at least for us since the Philippines has been a hotspot for earthquakes recently - but I just get so lazy every time classes have to be cut off because we have to gather outside and deal with sirens and firetrucks. Do your socks usually match? Yeah, I make sure they do. The idea of them mismatching is unsettling for me. Would you date your best friend? I already am. It’s turned out pretty damn well, I think. Whats your favorite weather like? I love love love when it’s dark and the air is cold. Rain or no rain is fine - I live mostly for the cold. How do you determine if a band is good or not? What do you look for most? There’s no one thing I’m looking for, really. As long as I find the song catchy and finding myself wanting to listen to it, and even that’s unpredictable every time. Are you addicted to anything? If so, what? No. That’s a sensitive word… What’s your favorite movie genre? Horror, drama, romantic comedy. Have you ever had an inside joke based on a quote from a movie, book, etc? Sure, I may have a few of those with Gabie. What do you want to do as a future career? I’m not looking for a particular path anymore at this point. Just something useful I can do with my journalism degree would be great. If you were pregnant right now what would you do? Who would be the father? Highly impossible. But in a very hypothetical sense, I would keep the kid. Whether I would raise it or give it up for adoption is something I can’t see anymore; but abortion isn’t an option for me. As for the father, fuck knows lol. Would you rather bake or cook a meal? Bake. It’s more precise and more prone to mistakes, but I have more fun doing it and at least I don’t have to deal with being splashed on with oil. If you could have anything in the world right now, what would it be? Job security. LOL. I’m getting so old so fast. What’s going to be the first song at your wedding? I really REALLY love Flightless Bird, American Mouth by Iron & Wine. Twilight did a good job making it such a feelsy song. But I don’t know if that’s still suitable for a wedding ten or fifteen years down the line haha. What’s something only you think is cute/funny? I don’t think there is anything; there’s always at least one other person who agrees with me when it comes to things like that. What do you find attractive in the opposite sex? Our guy friends sometimes treats us food, which is nice. Otherwise, none. Do you ever compare yourself to members of the same sex? Like in general? It’s unavoidable. What’s the perfect snack when you want to relax? Pizza. Would you rather have a few friends over & order in a pizza or go out? I always love going out with friends. Staying in with pizza is only good if it’s happening at Chelsea’s house. They have a veranda reserved for parties, her dad is a jokester and her mom makes food for us too so it’s always fun. Not to mention she has the sweetest 1 year old German Shepherd, too. If you could change any situation in your life what would it be? Having a conservative, homophobic family. Like if they tilt their views *just a little bit*, it would greatly help. Do you listen to music while you work/study? Nope. That doesn’t work for me. Describe a person you wouldn’t be able to live with? Someone who starts their sentences with, “well not all men…” “what men like is…” anything of the sort. I’m kind of heated about that now, since I’m seated at Starbucks and have no choice but to listen to a woman give such misogynistic advice to her fellow woman friend who has husband issues. Definitely not someone I’d want to ask advice from. What’s your favorite thing to do in your spare time? I like watching videos on YouTube. They provide enough distraction for me. If you could learn the subjects you wanted to what would they be? World history, geography, biology, Spanish, Korean. What’s a weird food only you like to eat? I eat mayonnaise with my tilapia, and thought it was normal until my friends were repulsed when they saw me eating it. If you could relive one memory what would it be? This is different on any given day, but right now I’d want to go back to any good memory I had in high school. Those geneuinely mean a lot. What super power do you want most of all? Time travel, but to be invisible for all of it so I don’t mess anything up. Is there a celebrity that you’d be willing to have a one night stand with? Hahaha. I always say I’m game for Kristen Stewart, but I think I’ll be too intimidated for real. Describe the perfect concert-lineup, arena, weather, w/e? I have a vast taste in artists, so I think if they'reput together it would really suck. Like I’m pretty sure putting Kendrick Lamar and Against Me! and St. Vincent in one show will never work. Do you like family restaurants or really fancy ones? I like both. Great food is what I’m here for. Are you more of a city person or a country person? why? City, because I’ve never experienced living in the province (closest thing the PH has to what the US calls ‘country.’) I’ve been around long enough to be fully reliant on internet and electricity and kitchen appliances that moving to the province would entail a really big adjustment. Do you want to live in your current town the rest of your life? Hell no. I’ll get a job, save up enough, and move out the first chance I get. What’s a negative thing about your town? Nothing ever really happens here. It’s the city right beside Metro Manila where everything takes place, so this is just pretty much where everyone passes through. Nothing special. A positive? Everyone lives near each other so that’s convenient. Would your rather drown to death or burn to death? Drown. They say burning is the most painful way to go, so I’ll have to pass on that. How many years longer are you hoping to live? 81. What song describes your typical mood? Or your current mood? I don’t think there’s any song that says “I have to pee and the table beside me is way too noisy. Also when is Gabie coming back?” If you found out today your best friend was gay what would you do? I found that out three years ago. I simply told her 'okay,’ because it’s the sort of thing that should be normalized. Congratulating is fine, but I prefer not to do that especially with Gab. I know she wouldn’t like if I made it a big deal and told her congrats, I’m proud of you, happy for you, etc. Describe the perfect kiss or date. I’m dying to have a fine dining date. With our actual hard-earned money. Do you have a special material item you hold sentimental value to? There are lots of items I view that way. Would you ever throw a dart at a map and go where it lands if you could afford it? Yes, if I had the time and money. Where would you hope it lands? (Continued from last morning) Chicago, although I have to have a good aim to hit just Illinois lol. Do you take care of yourself or do your parents help you out financially? I don’t have a job as of yet, so they take care of everything money. If you could get a pet for free today-what kind/what name? A golden ret named Theo. If you won 100 million dollars what would you do with it first? LOL maybe settle everything my parents have to (house, cars, etc.) because I’m sure they will nag me as if I owe them anything. Once they’re off my back I’ll probably save the rest of it, since it’s stupid and impractical to just run away with it. How many people have you slept with? One. Does true love wait? Hold on there, Disney. I mean yeah I guess it does but idk this is too poetic lol. What’s a huge turn off? Being too Catholic, based from 19 years of experience in a predominantly Catholic country. Or smoking. I can’t pick. Do you dig people with lots of body mods? Tattoos, yeah. If you could pick up on any instrument what would you choose? PIANOOOOOO. Any language? Japanese would be a huge help. Also want to learn Korean and Spanish. If you had your own business, what would it be? Nope nope nope. Do you ever wish you had a family business to become a part of? Kind of, yeah. It would admittedly be more convenient because at least I have something to fall back on if something doesn’t work out. What’s the most gruesome way you could come up with to kill someone? I dunno, look up people like Ed Gein or John Wayne Gacy or that dude who used a pre-recorded tape before he murdered his victims. Ask them. Do you think anyone deserves to die that way? Just those serial killers and anyone as heinous as they were. If you had to fight for survival, what would your weapon of choice be? Meh. Maybe the invincible tanks from GTA San Andreas so I can be untouched. Omg! Zombies are attacking. Where do you go, who do you find, whatta ya do? I’ve watched The Walking Dead long enough to know that I just wanna be one of the first to go lol. What’s in it for me in the end? All I will see are guts and undead loved ones and broken down cars and expired food. What cellphone is the best in your opinion? I dunno. I’m happy with my iPhone, but Apple can be so problematic and I know it’s not the best one out there. I’m sure there are better models, but just don’t know enough about phones to pick which one. Do you flip your pillow over to lay on the cool/cold side? Sometimes. I never picked it up as a habit. Stop playing with yourself! What are you going to do now? Finish my breakfast then maybe another survey.