#a big old goose egg

[nerdishnerd]

And it couldn't have happened to a better asshole.

Sure, there's more chaos but here's the thing. This is the millstone around the GOP's neck. Their failures for the past two years aren't doing them any favors in the eyes of the public. The voting public. Come November, they'll find out what all their fucking around gets them.

“The strangest part is that this is the House functioning the way the Founders intended. It is not the parties that are dictating what becomes law so much as the will of the majority. And the process, which has allowed for amendments rather than diktats from above and will allow members to vote as they please without repercussion from leadership, is exactly what archconservatives say they want. Despite that, it will likely place a target firmly on Johnson’s back from the MAGA-wing of his party. It is in effect a perfect illustration of how the Republican Party under Trump has been quick to turn its back on democracy when it doesn’t suit its authoritarian tendencies.”

— Mike Johnson gambles on democracy winning in House vote to aid Israel and Ukraine

[recurring-polynya]

Update on watching Bleach with my kid:

After every episode, she wants to rate every character based on what we know of them. We just got to the episode where Renji appears for like 3 seconds, right at the end. He's had, like, two lines, but she wanted to rate him anyway.

"5 out of 10," she says, "for nice goggles."

[isdalinarhot]

I think if in kowt there is a graphic 20 page sex scene of a young man eating out Dalinar’s belly button in a state of unrelenting fervor. That’s Brandon Sanderson making a self insert for me. It will be plot relevant. You’ll all be sorry

[aliferous-ly]

i hate the zero notes. at least with blank notes I could feel like I'm chilling on my own in a desert. now it's like I'm chilling on my own with a big blinking sign saying LOOK AT THIS LOSER . in a desert

[femoso-seben]

Livestock AU

Where Cod characters are hybrids living on a farm -------------------

Price and Alejandro were raised together, as guardian livestock animals they were raised together. Alejandro is a Llama hybrid and is trained to attack dog-like creatures he guards over the sheep. When Gaz the young border collie Hybrid was introduced he had to work with a very aggressive Llama that didn’t like his dog shape.

Ghost is a Kangal, like Price but much bigger. Ghost comes from a puppy mill and has to fight to get food. Very quiet dog unless intimidating the coyotes and wolves. Ghost learns quickly and tends to be the most independent but always comes back to check in with his fellow livestock dogs.

Soap is a Great Pyrenees who generally do anything required of him, mostly looking after the ducks, ducks, and goose. Very playful and young still learning the ropes but very good at his job does sleep during the day since he needs to be active at night. If he sees an unattended egg left over night will eat it.

Lastly is Gaz a border collie and very good at his job if he finds anyone miss behaving (most Soap sometimes Roach) he will bite them near the next to correct that behavior.

Laswell and Roach are both Barn cat hybrids. Laswell usually does all the recon missions and gets the boys to then check things out if she finds something suspicious. Roach is a rescue dumpster cat who survives being poisoned a few times. Very rambunctious and follows the guardian dogs around. Ghost is very fond of the silent cat, you will find Roach sneaking bites of Ghost dog food.

Lastly only recently added is an Alpaca. Rudy is situated with the Goats and as their alarm system acts like a less aggressive Alejandro. Alejandro and Rudy do see each other as packmates as well as their individual herd.

Nik is an old police dog who retired as a family dog, and will help out once in awhile when the urge to work hits him.

The livestock guardians’ main rival is a pack of wolves led by Graves. His shadow is a large pack of wolves that tries the farm every once in a while.

Another group is a group of Coyotes led by Valeria. She has gotten a few Birds from Soap which really upsets him.

The farm is currently being invaded by rats Led by Makarov and Laswell is trying her damnest to hunt him down, he and his Konni group are aggravating the farmer.

The farmer decided to get a few more barn cats.

Reader is a small kitten from another farm with too many cats they and their two friends, Farah a brownish cat hybrid, and Alex a big sandy color cat are added. Turns out Alex is the son of Laswell one of her litters.

Reader is treated like an eyesore by the older guardians until they are old enough to train, learn, and join the workforce. Reader mostly wonders around seeing each group and how they work, and finding their spot to rest in. Makarov once scared them and got scolded by Price. -------

It stupid idea idk was inspired a little by @tacticalanklebiter3000 and @frogchiro and the Hybrid side of Cod community

[kremlin]

"This event ends the moment you write us a check, and it better not bounce, or you're a dead motherfucker" -- Big Bill Hell

There was a time when you'd see little old ladies paying for the groceries with a hand-written personal check, holding up the line, causing an immediately-forgiven slight sense of annoyance with those behind her. Buddy. Those days are over. They've been over. What, did you think you were going to just pop a couple extra zeroes on the end of your paycheck there? Maybe scan your paycheck, open it in photoshop, make a template, print em out all nice? You think you're the first to think of that, dipshit?

It takes the law a long time to catch up with the state of the art. You're reading this on the internet, which means you never use checks. The law has caught up. Your ass will be going to prison immediately and you will see zero return.

You can't even kite checks anymore, and hell, nobody under 40 will even know what that means, due to the blazing fast, two day settlement on all ACH transactions. Let me paint you a picture.

You get paid on Friday, but it is Monday, and bills are due on Tuesday. And you're broke: $0 in the bank. Goose egg. Pop open your checkbook, go to a store, "buy" some things, write a check for the amount. The cashier takes it!

Now take those things you "bought", across town, to another store location, and return them for cold hard cash. Sweet. Bills paid. Friday rolls around, and you just make it to the bank to deposit your paycheck before it closes. After the weekend, the checks you wrote finally post, and they don't bounce! You've kited a check. You've surreptitiously taken a zero-interest loan. And we know your broke ass. The interest rate on that short-term payday loan should have been straight up usurious. We're talking 29%. That makes predatory fuckers like us horny for sex. We're so mad. Now you are going to Federal Prison. For a good minute. Fuckface.

COST: $0.10 (With banks offering free checking accounts + Bic pen)

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor sleet, if you fuck with the mail, we'll rip your nuts off" -- Ronald Mail (Inventor of Mail)

Many people have this misnomer that the most powerful people in politics are democratically elected. The president, of the United States, of America, is a stupid cartoon hotdog. All of them, I don't care. Way less clout than you'd think. Brilliantly, it is the people that the hotdog president appoints who are actually doing anything significant. The director of the CIA. The fucking chairman of the Federal Reserve. Probably the, like, most senior, uh, general of the military, and shit too. I don't know, we don't "do" army here at Bloomberg. You probably don't even know their names! I don't! These are the ones you should be seeing in your sleep.

There's another position like that. Appointed directly by the hotdog. The Postmaster General. That's a real title. He's the CEO of the mail, and buddy, what he may lack in political power relative to the director of the CEO, he makes up in raw sexual energy. Total Tom Selleck energy. Like an airline pilot. We're talking Donald Sutherland in Invasion of the Body Snatchers. I'm tentpoling in my black business slacks just writing this, and all my Bloomberg newsroom bros are peering over my shoulder and also tent-poling. We're not gay though, and especially me, I'm probably the least gay, but sometimes I just lay awake for hours at night what that mustache would feel like pressed against my lips, the unbelievable and utter, total sense of security I'd feel burying my head into his hard chest.

You get it. He's your dad. And if you fuck with the mail, you've fucked with the tools in your dad's garage. And dad's been drinking. You're in for it, bucko, you are in trouble. Do you think the United States Postal Service actually makes any money? Hell no. It costs like five bucks to mail a box basically anywhere I can think of and they give you the boxes for free. You can just walk in the post office and take them. I do that, and then just throw them away, I don't know why, some kind of compulsion. Being able to move shit around like this, quickly, cheaply -- Jesus H, I've got a huge amount of money in my bank account, probably tens of trillions of dollars (due to financial knowledge gained from reading Bloomberg articles) and I could probably mail every single person ever something and still come out in the black.

No way pal. They've thought of that already. The Postmaster General is going to know every time, and he's going to grab you by the shirt collar, wearing his cool as fuck hat, and you're going to get your pants pulled down, and your bare ass spanke...I need to go use the restroom real quick.

We rely on the mail system to get important shit done. It's not something to be taken lightly, and it isn't. Trust me. This is why, like almost every other person who receives mail in this year 2023, I just fucking put a wastebasket under my mail slot. I don't even shred that shit anymore. I just burn it. Takes less time.

COST: $0.63 (Postal stamp)

"Can call all you want, but there's no one home // And you're not gonna reach my telephone // Out in the club, and I'm sipping that bubb // And you're not gonna reach my telephone" -- Lady Gaga

I read something wild that the children of today do not know what a dial tone is, because of how fucked up and stupid they are. Isn't that super fucked up?

While it's not really our style, allow me to fill you in on some ancient, arcane knowledge about the telephone. You can turn it on, and then you can punch in numbers. Any numbers. Random ones, or maybe not random ones. If the ten numbers you punch in are the same as the numbers in someone else's telephone number, their phone will ring, and then you are talking to them. This is called "Phreaking".

Here's the kicker: You can tell that jackass anything you want. "Oh, Hi, Yes, I am Reginald Sumpter calling from Avalon Consulting LLC, we are just following up on the invoice we sent you. Please remit to ###### routing ###### account."

BOOM! Your name isn't Reginald whatever and that company doesn't exist, but you just received a deposit. It's fucking beautiful. What have you done wrong? It isn't your responsibility to handle who your business' clients/etc are, it's their's. If they want to just pay you money for no real reason, well, that's kind of on them, isn't it? I haven't stuck a pistol in your face and demanded everything in the register.

Well, it's too clever. It's too slick. This is the United States of America. It's one thing to commit a felony like armed robbery, it's another thing to piss off someone in charge of the accounting division who uses a special bathroom you need a key to get into.

You can do it on the computer too, I use a PC Computer at work and send email, so you can see how it'd work there. You can make a document that is indifferentiable from a real invoice and, straight up, 1/3 of the time they will pay that shit. Lmfao.

It's called wire fraud because, uhh, duhhhh, there's wires. What do you think that thing is strung between the telephone receiver and the dialer? And computers? Give me a break. There's so many wires with those.

COST: $0.25 (Coin for payphone)

"People calculate too much and think too little." -- Charlie Munger

It is insane how dumb the common man can be when it comes to our world of expertise. I hear this same sentiment, like, ALL THE TIME:

"Durr hurr I will buy an insurance policy for my car or house or whatever so that in case something happens to it I will get money". And then that same person proceeds to drive safely or not burn their house down. Dumbest crap imaginable.

Let me break it down for you. Insurance is a two player competitive game. There is a winner and there is a loser. Go take out an expensive insurance policy on your American sports car. Buy a neck brace, a football helmet, and pack that bitch with throw pillows. Then get in the left lane of a major highway at like noonish, let it rip and then SLAM on your brakes. Hit from behind! Your fault! Congratulations. You have won insurance. How this gets past people is beyond me.

You can only do this once or twice before the insurance companies catch on. Then they don't want to fuck with you. It is also..I don't know man...something feels off about taking a car or a house, which like, some guy had to build and just destroying it, but that is only a weird emotional thing, since you're making money, more than whatever the destroyed thing is worth, so in reality you've built that house plus some extra. You've contributed.

COST: $106.00 (Average monthly car insurance payment)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

SUBSCRIBE TO MY WHATEVER FOR PART TWO, COMING SOON. i'll post it later today probably. whatever time frame will juice the numbers. have a sneaky peaky

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[fernandomagicalonsomanydances]

Been largely absent from Tumblr since I had to reset my phone but in preparation for the last race of the season here's my updated rating of the drivers based on how much I love and support them

1. Carlos - you are the reason I got into the sport Smooth Operator and "I ain't quitting you" even if you did decide to go to the cellar that is Williams

2. Fernando - with the Newey news hope is restored for my favorite old man to get his much deserved and long overdue 3 WDC "help me Adrian Newey you're my only hope"

3. Oscar - well with Logan and Danny gone and Checo leaving looks like you're getting adopted yet again Osco by me the American congratulations you can now claim 3 more races as "home races" because I'm claiming you as my home driver cause it sure ain't gonna be Canadian Nepo Baby

4. Esteban - oh Estie Bestie they didn't even let you say goodbye. Screw that shit show that is Alpine. Can't wait to see you take Haas to the next level with lovely Ollie Bear beside you (please don't hurt him or I will end you)

5. Max - my trauma bro for life who healed my inner child when he let his little sister Victoria put the sticker on the Redbull cooler at Qatar. You are the champion of the world and of the horror story that is your past

6. Lando - "a gentleman on and off the track" as your bro4lyfe Carlos said. I will never say anything bad about you again after how gallantly you treated Oscar. The goodest boy.

7. Franco - chaos powered by maté please don't go away. We need the heir of Sebastian's rizzardry and Senna's face to stick around

8. Charles - you can be a princess sometimes but you're my best friend's favorite princess just maybe don't act like someone pissed on your cheerios every time Carlos does better than you and please toughen up and lighten up because i don't know if I'm prepared to see BOTH Ferrari pilots be sad wet mops next year

9. Pierre - I used to think you were an arrogant little Frenchman who came off as vain but after burying the hatchet with Esteban at Brazil and then qualifying like a GOAT ever since I'm prepared to look past the past and actually like you now

10. Valterri - oh you cheeky cheeky Finn with your cheeks out everywhere, the grid won't be the same without you and if you want me to help you lock Helmut Marko in a shed so you can get that Redbull seat I'd only be too happy to help

11. Alex - sweet zookeeper I'm sorry your car is held together by scotch tape and prayers these days

12. Nico - the Just For Men hair care model that you are never change Nico... Except hopefully Audi can change the number of podiums you have

13. Yuki - feisty parkour king you deserve the seat alongside Max more than anyone else in the RB family currently and I will help you beat up Helmut Marko if that's what it takes

14. Checo - please go spend time with your family. You were great but you gotta go it's getting embarrassing leave before there's no dignity left to leave with and your successes get lost for the sour ending

15. Kevin - please use your last race in F1 to absolutely embrace the Danish Demolition Derby that you are and clear a path for Hulk's first podium and then enjoy your adorable lovely family and whatever sports you move on to next

16. Zhou - thanks for saving Sauber from the total ignominy of a big ole goose egg at the end of the year. I hope you come back cause you're such an inspiration to your country

17. George - once upon a time you were in my top 3 and then you decided chicanery was the way to take down Max. If you don't believe you can beat him on the track then admit it don't go plotting his downfall by getting him hit with penalty points for basically a non-event. I loved you but now you're just some whiny bitch I used to know

18. Lewis - you literally would have had a chance to surpass George if you too weren't being a whiny bitch Lewis. Threatening to not race the last 3! Whining before Brazil! Wanting to quit in Qatar! Are you or are you not a 7 time world champion? Freaking act like it. Regardless of whatever Toto may say you owe it to the team that brought you most of your championships to at least try. Think of Bono if you can't think of anyone else to show your appreciation by sucking it up a little bit bro

19. Lance - you are basically useless but at least your daddy's money will get my Daddy a better car since he brought Newey in with his dough

20. Liam - I was prepared to forgive you for replacing my beloved Danny Ric and then you went and acted like the biggest prick on the grid and decided it was on sight with any pilot who spoke Spanish or their teammates now at this rate. Your love for Cars cannot redeem your attitude which smells like Durian fruit.

[agentoffangirling]

I have a bone to pick with characters who cause problems then run off and use their backstories as an excuse for everything they do. HOWEVER, there is a difference between well-written ones and badly-written ones. Let's examine Grant Ward and Sylvie Laufeydottir (this is gonna be long, bear with me)

Ward, in case you're not familiar with Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., is a character who had a difficult upbringing. His parents adored his youngest brother and turned a blind eye to the abuse Ward faced under his older brother. He also was hurt by his parents, so safe to say he had a tragic backstory

Later on in his life, he was picked up by John Garrett, an undercover HYDRA agent. Garrett groomed Ward and manipulated him, and it wasn't long before Ward joined HYDRA as well

Now I am not defending Ward. He is an absolutely despicable character, he's literally a Nazi, he threw two characters into the ocean, became overally obsessed with one of the mcs when it was clear she didn't want him, and killed and kidnapped multiple people with little to no remorse. He also uses his backstory as an excuse for all this stuff, claiming he does it for "Skye", "Kara", "us". Grant Ward gets no sympathy from me

There's a notable moment in s2 where the S.H.I.E.L.D. team is forced to work with him again, and upon getting death stares from all of them, this conversation takes place:

Ward: "And I could stand here and explain again how my parents and brother left me vulnerable..."

May: "We all had our traumas, Ward. Didn't turn any of us into psychopaths."

...

Ward: "I mean, for a while there, we were a good team. Weren't we?"

Skye: "I'm still happy I shot you.

Simmons: "Yeah, me too."

Fitz: "Should've aimed for the face."

And the writers don't ever try to make it so Ward is justified in doing these things. Not just his actions, but also the claim that his backstory excuses it, because as you can see above, other characters point out that they had all been through their fair share of troubles, and they didn't turn out like him. They don't justify the shit they did because their life was hard. The writers do make it so that a watcher can sympathize with Ward, and they also make it very clear he is not correct in doing these things

He's also a very complex person in general. He has so many traits, some of them downright conflicting, but that's who he is. Tancheroen and the others show that very well, and almost everything he does is in-character. Ward is a very well-written bad character

Now we turn to Sylvie. Sylvie also had a difficult upbringing, but I'm not gonna be the one to compare whether or not hers was worse than Ward's. However, where we reach our first road block is that Sylvie has much less character traits than Ward. She's a lot simpler than him in terms of writing, but the creators act as though she's complex and conflicted when she's really not. That doesn't necessarily mean that she's a worse character. There's a lot the writers could do to improve on her or write her well. But they don't even try

Sylvie is not given anything new to do in season 2. Zilch. Nada. A big old goose egg. She could've been dealing with her conflicting feelings on killing He Who Remains, she could've picked up a new hobby or given a personal stake in all this Loom stuff. The writers could've written her so that she didn't know what she wanted since getting rid of HWO was her only task, and now that he's gone, she could go do what actually makes her happy. They had so many opportunities to expand upon her, but nope. She's just given a McDonald's uniform and ends up being the exact same person she was at the beginning of season 1. That's not growth. That's not anything

But hey, if they're not going to do anything with her, maybe they could try for a different angle in how others perceive her. Instead of always being seen as right, she could be seen as wrong in some instances. Fine, make her bitchy, but make it so that the characters call her out on it. Have the creator perception frame her as selfish and and rude. For example, instead of trying to justify her yelling at Mobius in episode 4, have Loki fire back. Say she held them up and only cares about herself in that fight. Say that for once, she should listen to others. Say that everyone has problems, yet they don't do her destructive actions and claim they're right. They didn't need to do the Grant Ward route on everything, but having a couple times where she is framed as him in AoS wouldn't be that bad

Sylvie is a badly-written bad character. Her lack of traits and staticness of arc make her come short compared to Ward, and the continued stubbornness of the creative team to always frame her as justified and right adds to this. I am not against tragic backstories, I am not against characters being bitchy, but I will always have a problem if they use said backstory as an excuse for everything they do

And if they do, then at least have the courtesy to write them well and for other characters to call them out

[catgrassplantdad]

tagged by @heymrspatel @gallawitchxx @kiinard @sgtmickeyslaughter @deedala

@energievie for this week's weekly tag wednesday! thanks cuties 🖤

name: jessie

age: 34

location: my living room. listening to my cat breathe loudly in her sleep lol

top sheet, yes or no? yes! i've never had a problem with them, like i don't get tangled in them or kick them down by my feet. but i also sleep like a corpse, so.

how many stuffed animals do you own? one! a platypus squishmallow

the names of your pets (and the explanations behind them): my cat has a human old lady name. because that is what she looks like to me. she actually started with a different name that sounds vaguely like it could be related to her current name, but in the first two years of her life i couldn't stop calling her this name so i decided to just stick with it full time.

favourite color: some days i prefer orange over green, some days it's the other way around.

any tattoos? yeah, i have ten.

how you transport your belongings (purse, tote, hands, pockets, etc.): a black leather backpack or just my pockets.

the last movie you watched: aliens

how long does it take you to get ready in the morning? i give myself a lot of time to get ready in the morning before work because i need to sit and have my coffee and my breakfast and sometimes write a little and just. take my time. exist. so like an hour a half. the actual process of getting showered and dressed is like 20-30 minutes.

favourite weather: either 55 and sunny or 80 and sunny. but also sometimes rain is really nice.

relationship status: i'm super married!

ice cream flavor of choice: mint chocolate chip, usually!

first fandom: ah, kind of spartacus? but really supernatural

how many books have you read this year? big ol' goose egg :( i've started a few but haven't finished any and i feel super shitty about it

first 4 words of your last notes app entry: "gift ideas for greg" lolololol

and finally, if you had to change your URL tomorrow, what would you change it to? maybe i'd go back to metalheadmickey but i really feel comfortable and at home with catgrassplantdad

tagging @howlinchickhowl @whatthebodygraspsnot @whatwouldmickeydo @gardenerian @rereadanon

@crossmydna @mmmichyyy @ardent-fox @softmick @thisdivorce

@sickness-health-all-that-shit @suzy-queued @too-schoolforcool if you feel like playing!

[freya-captain]

Low-key wondering (hoping lol) if you will be making anymore gif sets about the forced marriage au between jace and aegon🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Thanks for liking it! (somehow i didn't see this ask till i logged in on my laptop)

I wrote another clip and hope you guys enjoy it. (i don't know why it getting longer and longer...)

Continuing on this thread

Warning: alpha King!Jacaerys x omega! Aegon; forced marriage; black wining the war; Lucemond mentioned

They made a brief stop in Pentos.

Had been traveling west for six days in a bumpy carriage, Aegon did try hard not to throw up on Jace's boots. Considering that he is King now it would've been a terribe act of crime.

He was plotting a way to escape till they reached a manse, but no sooner did he lower himself into the hot water and close his eyes than he was fast asleep. He woke naked on a goose-down feather bed so soft as if he had been swallowed by a cloud. There was no one else in the dim chamber, only two knights guarding outside that he peeked through the door.

So he came to the window. New spring grass seemed soft enough. He casually threw on some robe and jumped out of it. Everything went suprisingly smooth—no one noticed; no one followed. He saw cherry trees stood sentinel around a marble pool. The yard here was stupidly big, from where he started his explore.

He saw three gates during his wanderings - the main entrance with its gatehouse, a postern by the kennels, and a garden gate hidden behind pale ivy. The last was chained, the others guarded.

No wonder Jacaerys found no need to send someone watching over him. He knew it was impossible for him to get out, by himself. How cunning. He thought. Everyone he met either ignored him or spoke a strange language he could not comprehend. They weren't talking to him anyway, not to mention offering help.

The futile efforts made Ageon dizzy, so afterward he went back to the chamber, curled up, and shut his eyes, drowning in the feather bed once more until a soft voice woke him up.

"My prince," a servant girl stood next to the bed, speaking the common tongue, "your bath awaits. His grace expects you at table within the hour."

He rubbed his eyes, "I was having the best dream of my life." He didn't. He slept sound and deep. The last time felt like forever ago.

"Apology, my prince." She fetched a new robe for him, so much more delicate and gorgeous than the last one, decorated with intricate lace of Myr and rubies in the shape of tears, "It is my honor to present the dress to you, my prince. Look at the color. It brings out the beautiful purple in your eyes. "

He propped himself against the pillows, "I'm not wearing that. And stop calling me prince."

She seemed so well-trained, "Whatever you say, my lord."

As he bathed, the girl washed his feet, scrubbed his back, and brushed his hair. The black color was not easily washed away though. Afterward she rubbed sweet-smelling ointment into his neck, arms and calves, and dressed him once again in the old robe.

Jacaerys was reading a massive book in candlelight by the wide dinner table when he stepped in. A chronicle, Aegon guessed. His brown hair has grown much longer and curlier than the way he remembered. Despite sitting, his oldest nephew still appeared broad-shouldered and tall.

He looks different. Aegon thought, he looks like a man now.

"It seems you are finally cleared of fleas, uncle. Baths agree with you." The young alpha looked up at him and smiled, "Come sit."

Aegon cautiously took a seat in the only remaining chair, "Last time we dinned together you were still short."

He countered the remark, "Last time we dinned together your hair was still blonde." He signalled the servants, “I assume you hungry?"

The serving men came running. They began with a broth of crab and monkfish, and cold egg lime soup as well. Then came quails in honey, a saddle of lamb, goose livers drowned in wine and buttered parsnips. 

The sight of it all made Aegon feel queasy. Jace gestured to him with a glass of wine. He was wearing a long velvet shirt emblazoned with the royal sigil, the three-headed dragon.

"Are you truly King now? I didn't see your crown." He asked with deliberate acerbity.

"You get to see me in crown as soon as we return the Keep." He responded calmly.

"The country is still running even when her ruler is absent, huh?"

Jace gave a soft smile, not offended at all, "My excellent small council allows me to take a small break."

Something changed in his nephew. He is no longer the reckless alpha that was so easily provoked and showed everything on his face.

Aegon felt discouraged as he forced himself to try a spoon of soup, and once he had tasted it he was lost. He had never eaten so well. Life in exile has little to do with luxurious food, or even complete meals. Not that he minded, but only in this moment he started to remember how good it was to be noble.

He did not realized he was that hungry. As he was sucking the meat off the bones of his quail, he noticed Jacaerys was staring at him without touching his plate. Indeed he was eating without a single sense of grace of a queen or a prince. How wonderful. He mused, the sooner Jace found him repulsive, the sooner he can get himself out of this hell. So he didn’t give a care. "I see you learned some magic tricks, nephew." Jace frowned. Aegon stifled a laugh and explained “You could full your stomach just by staring at me.”

"You slept too long. I already ate ahead." Jace added unnecessarily, "Plus I like watching you eating."

He rolled his eyes, "You'd like it better when I drink." He asked another sharp question, "Why didn't you ride your dragon? That one called Wellax? "

"Vermax. " He wiped the corner of Aegon's mouth with a towel , said candidly, "He was still recovering from the war wounds. I don't want him to fly for excessively long."

"Hmm, the Greyjoy's rebellion?"

Jace raised his eyebrows, "I am surprised you knew that."

Of course Aegon knew that. He heard this great usurper war even across the sea. About three years ago, House of the Kraken ambushed the Velaryon fleets and declared war against the Iron Throne. Lys, Myr and Tyrosh joined them as well. He heard Prince Jacaery led the Royal Army himself and fought besides the brave Cregan Stark, lord of the northerners. He heard the Wirewolf's bastard sister Sara Snow followed them to the battlefield too. And there was his brother —Aemond Targaryen, he and his monster dargon Vaghar were the shinest stars during the war.

"They said my dear brother burned the Iron Islands to ashes."

"He also killed the rebel leader Dalton himself in a one-on-one combat."

"I believe the Iron Islanders thanked him greatly for that —Now people only fear our house more. You gave my war criminal brother a nice excuse."

"I didn't give anyone excuses. It was the ironborns who started the fire."

"So before the fire lighted, Dalton Greyjoy didn't stealed Lucerys and kept him captive then? Or Aemond was simply sitting at home out of his respect for you?"

Jace took a deep breath faced with his sarcasm, "Luke is my brother, my blood. I would do anything for his safety. But I was not impulsive enough to start a war against one of the seven kingdoms because they had Luke. I know Aemond wanted that more than anything. But I was the Chief Commander. They rejected the peace deal and they started a rebellion first. I had no choice but to defeat and destroy them. Believe it or not, that's the truth."

"It made senses. You are your mama's boy, after all." Aegon finally commented with a mocking smile.

“I see you heard a lot in the east.” Jace's eyes started glittering with anger. Aegon smelled victory.

“I heard more that that." He took a big gulp of pale Pentoshi ambers,"I heard our precious prince, the heir to the iron throne, had an affair with the little wolf girl. Love in the flames of war, how beautiful. I kept wondering why you didn't marry her? You must've thought a bastard girl wouldn't be good enough for you."

Suddenly Jace placed his glass heavily on the table. He stared at Aegon in dead silence for a few seconds, long enough to seem like a century. Aegon was beginning to regret it. The alpha would be infuriated if he truly loved that girl. He had only wanted to provoke his nephew; he didn't want to die. He loved his life, sweet and could-be-short life.

Alpha stood up and walked over to Aegon, leaning down to cup his face gently.

"Never address me like that again, Egg. My patience is never limitless." His eyes and movements conveyed a completely different message.

Then Aegon felt it—something overwhelming, powerful, something disabling him of talking back or moving a bit, something belonging to a superior alpha or King. Now that his figure was so close, his scents were clearer than ever. Jace smelled so good, a full-fledged alpha - fresh pine needles, fuzzy animal musk, blood, cum, spicy tobacco.

“You smell like fucking home.” He said without thinking. Then immediately bit his tongue in regret. Where the hell did that come from?

Jace's expression softened, "Do you miss home, Egg?"

He shook his head, then nodded, "A little, maybe. Though I know no one misses me at all."

“We all miss you, silly. You've gone for ten whole years. " He sat back next to Aegon and cut him a piece of goose liver with a knife. “At every family dinner, we saved you a seat and wish you could show up.”

Aegon lost all his appetite when it came to this topic, “Haha, very funny. I almost buy it.”

Jace watched him pouring another cup of Dornish Red, "Queen Alicent sometimes sat in your old room and weeping." He said in a soft voice, "And Aemond, he never said a thing. But he named his seond son Aegon, in the fifth year you left. Even Rhaenyra, she used to tell us the story how she played wooden dragons with you when you were little."

"Is toying with me fun enough for you?" He lost it, tears collecting in his lavender eyes, "I know they hated me. Everyone hated me! You expect me to believe suddenly I became a good son, a good brother that everyone missed sickly? ”

No one ever loved him. Not his father who loved only his first wife and her child, not his mother who was only content with Aemond, not his sister who seemed so relieved when she found she didn't have to marry him.... He was everybody’s disappointment. This seemed like a only good job he exceled at. That was why he fled.

"Who said that? ”Jace was half-surprised-half angry, "You can't put yourself down like this."

"I was never the one anyone wanted."

Jace was ridiculous enough to laugh, "But I want you." He took his hand and kissed his knuckles.

"..No!" Aegon retracted his hand like he'd been electrocuted. Alpha's scent was so close that it annoyed and agitated him.

He never felt so crestfallen, "Jace, Jacaerys Targaryen, listen, this is no fun anymore. I lose the game. I give up."

"Come home with me then."

"NO!" He almost freaked out, "Can't you see what kind of person I am? Do you know what I have been through? I was a Omega in exile."

"I don't care that much." There was a certain darkness in his tone, "You were my Queen. You still are."

Aegon doubted the only one that remembered the seven kingdom once had a queen is Jacaerys himself.

"No one liked it. No one likes it still."

"You'll see when we return the Keep." He shrugged, “There's a coronation awaiting.""

[tansyuduri]

Merlin Loregasm Rewatch S1E10

Hi Everyone! Welcome to my rewatch of Merlin focusing on the lore. I am a giant nerd so pretty excited about this. We’re on THE MOMENT OF TRUTH

LETS GO! This one doesnt have the most lore so I am finding little things to cover too. So goosekeeping. In Roman Britain keeping goose domestically was not a big thing. However, by early medieval times, it had very much increased. Merlin stands between these. So keeping geese makes sense. Geese also naturally fatten themselves for winter if left to do so. So are a good choice for a village that doesn't have much to spare in the way of cultivated food.

Now in Feudalism one of the things that was a lord's responsability was basically making sure raiders did not come and do this. Of course, this was done with various degrees of success. Ealdor is a border region and from what we learn. While it is in Cenred's kingdom it does not seem to have a lesser noble of the kingdom ruling over it. It also must be far from Cenred's court. This would leave it far from any protection. Cenred would have more of an interest protecting villages that actually provided him food. (Thus kept up their side of the feudalism deal.) This is later reinforced when it is said they appealed to Cenred (And that their safety is his responsibility) but he cares little for the outlying regions.

Merlin doesn't actually show any lesser nobility that does not live in capital cities. It does however imply they exist. (See Lancelot for more on this) What I find interesting is that Ealdor was not raided before in recent memory. Or at least that it's not mentioned. I wonder if Merlin had anything to do with this.

Funfact "gealdor" in old English means spell or charm or incantation while Ealdor itself means chief, leader, head of family. Prince or king, or Orgin or source. (The last one seems most likely as it is Merlin's place of origin. I cannot find anything about Aecitir Also while Uther is right sending an army over the border would be an act of war. He could VERY likely get away with sending some men as Arthur suggests. ESPECIALLY since there is little likelihood of any of Cenred's soldiers being in the area to know. Its possible if this audience was granted in private he might have risked doing so. And he could have said no and then sent soldiors secretly later BUT this is Uther we are talking about sooooo.

*Screams in not as poor as most commoners Gwen family theory* I feel like I'm kicking a dead horse here but BEING ABLE TO GIVE PEOPLE WEAPONS AND ARMOR IS A BIG DEAL

Morgana: Bring back memories of when I used to beat you

Arthur: That never happened.

So Morgana lost her father at age 10 I have no idea what age Arthur would have been but I'm inclined to believe Morgana and that Arthur made excuses or something. NOW Morgana knows how to fight so I think we need to ask how she was trained? Did Arthur practice with her? Or was she actually trained? From what we see in the show most noblewomen do not know how to fight with swords. So it is not a traditional part of their training in the Merlin world. (The only other noble woman we see using a weapon is Mithian with a crossbow on the hunt and her loving hunting is a rarity by Arthur's reaction.) Medieval woman often used bows on the hunt so this is "normal" There are examples of medieval woman warriors but they are fairly rare. I think Morgana got actual lessons in sword craft from knights and that is was an indulgence of her wanting to learn it by Uther.

OKAY! So they keep chickens too! I'm guessing that they mostly keep them for eggs and perhaps meat very occasionally. Eggs would be a HUGELY valuable source of protein, Along with milk (Merlin mentions there being cows even if we do not see them in this episode) So from what we see, Merlin's diet growing up would have been milk, grains, eggs, and likely some fruits and vegetables as we saw those taken earlier. Perhaps every once in a while some meat.

Confirmation most of the village did not know about Merlin's Secret. I gotta wonder what they thought when Hunith up and sent him seemingly defenseless on the same road we see so many bandits on. Actually Hunith makes her way to Camalot twice on her own though. So Bandaits just ignore peasants if they don't look like they have anything of value on them but if knights and rich people are around attack? I think that's the only explanation for how safe roads in Merlin seem to be for peasants without valuables and how dangerous for LITTERALY everyone else.

Will: why did you Leave?

Merlin: It wasn't what I wanted. My mother was worried. When she found out you knew she was so angry.

Will: I wouldn't have told anyone.

We also know Hunnith said Merlin was at odds with people and Merlin later says you cannot always trust people. (There is also nearly dropping a tree on old man simons with magic.) This entire thing is interesting because Cenred does not hate magic like Uther does. He was fine with Morgouse. So it's quite possible magic is not illegal, or if those rules were in place once Cenred ignored him. Personally I think Hunith was afraid of Cenred taking Merlin and using him as a weapon. Perhaps there would have been a large reward for anyone who discovered a powerful magic user and brought the news to Cenred. This is just a theory of course. She also might have been afraid of someone putting together him being Balinor's son and that information getting out.

Let's take a moment to look at the status of women in the Merlin world. Casual sexism is a thing ("You are such a girl's pedicoat , losing to a girl being bad, Arthur not wanting the woman to fight. ETC) but we sometimes see common women owning land and businesses (Mary's tavern that appears in the Gwaine episode. Alice being a healer.) And the old religion VERY much revered women. However, Female Knights don't seem to be a thing. In fact, As we addressed earlier girls being skilled in battle seems unusual (Though we it in a magic outlaw group once and Isolde. As well as Morgana and Morgouse) and killing them in battle is seen as particularly bad. However, like real medieval woman, they can participate in hunting ETC. They also CAN rule (Gwen, Morgana, Annis) Chastity does not seem as big a deal. Woman can be alone with men without bad comments. And they go where they want without escort. Olaf's behavior toward Vivian is viewed as excessive as well. However, I don't think most noble women have sex before marriage. (Talking about Arthurs's intentions being honorable Uther not trying to bed Katrina until their wedding knight.) While perhaps doing it is not such a big deal (Vivian talking about previous men being chased with knives, Uther urging Arthur to have fun while he can with Sofia) Unsure about commoners. Also I would guess Men inheriting before women is not a thing based on how Morgana is seen as a viable heir to the throne. Also by the size of families we see birth control is readily available. SO A huge improvement on the real middle ages. But casual sexism is still a thing.

[ashleyinwondrland]

I can’t stop thinking about Game Changer and if Sam is leading up to something.

But also Sam saying “bunch of goose eggs” now maybe I’m over thinking this but it made me think of Brennan’s infamous “I can’t win speech” with his big old goose egg. Which I feel like is the only other time someone has used goose egg in reference to a zero on the show.

And it’s like I have a tiny Sam Reich whispering in my ear “this means something..it has to..it’s all connected”

So now I’m thinking about rewatching all of Game Changer so I can find anyone else lay some eggs. And also for any other call backs I may have missed. Like maybe “Sam says everyone touch your wenis” in the Sam says episode.

I will crack your code, Mr. Reich and when I do I will have cracked Game Changer.

[j4gm]

SPOILERS!!! REFERENCES AND EASTER EGGS IN F&C ep. 5: DESTINY

I'm a week late on this post because I had some stuff going on last week, but let's go!

The opening scene reintroduces us to Ice Finn, who was briefly cursed by Evergreen's crown. We see him abducting a family, who will become part of the pile of frozen bodies that made up the area where he and the Lich opened a portal to the Multiverse in Crossover. At the end of that episode Prismo moved the crown to the site of the Mushroom Bomb's explosion, freeing Farmworld Finn from the curse. But he remains a frightening figure in Farmworld's mythology, as demonstrated by this scarecrow that Simon steals his new clothes from.

Fionna telling Simon to relax because she's an expert at post-apocalyptic RPGs is ironic considering that Simon has survived and raised a child in an actual apocalypse.

Big Destiny appears alongside returning Destiny Gang members Tromo (far left) and Trami (fifth from left, just next to the mast). Tromo was assumed to be a boy in her first appearance; it's possible she's transed her gender. Big Destiny claims he was the one who defeated Ice Finn, which is most definitely not the case, but it seems like nobody is in the mood to dispute his claim.

This is Farmworld Wildberry Princess. She's a butcher just like her Ooo counterpart. Fionna also assaults Farmworld Starchy, and Farmworld Chet is the guy who was surprised to hear that Cake could talk. I'm not sure if there are any other recognisable characters amongst the crowds at the Farmworld meeting place, except of course for...

Choose Bruce! He was the person who gave Farmworld Finn his sword-arm in his debut episode, and is obviously the Farmworld version of Choose Goose. The evilness of his Ooo counterpart doesn't seem to have manifested in quite the same way, except that he is as shady a salesman as ever.

Fionna has a copy of a magazine called Mle, which seems to be the Fionna and Cake version of Ble. She also has Finn's iconic flute.

Peanut exclaims "magic fist" when he sees Cake use her powers, which was the name of Finn and Jake's wizard disguise when they entered the tournament in the episode Wizard Battle.

Peanut also mentions Fionna's missing nose, which is the first time someone has brought up the art style discrepency in canon. Fionna does in fact have a nose. It's just not drawn in her universe's art style.

Farmworld Finn's house is reminiscent of the Tree Fort, with its corrugated roof, haphazard wooden construction, steel chimneys, and the ladder steps leading up the trunk of the tree behind. But it still has its own unique design.

And here is Farmworld Finn himself! His retractable axe-arm is cool.

He is a widower with five children. As you probably already know, Jay (previous image) and Bonnie (third on left) are named after Finn's kids from Puhoy, who were themselves named after corruptions of Jake and Princess Bubblegum's names. The other three kids on the right are unnamed in the episode's credits, but have characteristics of some of Finn's other "children". The first on the right could represent Neptr, who Finn created in the episode What is Life. The middle on the right likely represents Stormo, who was spawned from Finn's DNA in the episode Goliad. The far right can't really be identified with any existing characters, but he has green eyes like Huntress Wizard, perhaps symbolising the potential of Finn's relationship with her or even being an explicit indicator that Farmworld Huntress was the mother of these children.

Jake is still alive in this universe. He was possessed by the Lich for a while, but was freed at the end of Crossover.

Finn throws a stick of bubblegum into the soup for some reason. I've seen various theories about what this is meant to mean but none of them really seem likely to me. It was probably just a nod to the fact that Princess Bubblegum doesn't appear anywhere else in Farmworld.

Old lady Marceline's broken laser gun and Farmworld Finn's sword arm are mounted on the wall, alongside other artifacts.

Bonnie has doodled a Candy Kingdom on the wall.

This is the first of at least two times that Cake suggests selfcest.

This is the crater from when the Mushroom Bomb blew up. Just like in its original appearance, it remains unclear why its impact was small compared to the bombs that exploded during the war. Perhaps time dulled its power, or perhaps the Lich's spirit was enough to make it more threatening than any conventional nuclear weapon. As previously mentioned, the crown got blown up here because Prismo teleported it here in Crossover. Out-of-universe, this was an explanation for a minor continuity error where the crown was present in a scene it shouldn't have been in during Finn the Human.

Little Destiny is afflicted by a lesser version of the curse of Evergreen's crown, since she's only wearing one of the jewels. This is why Jay says she feels cold.

Bartram! This is Farmworld Finn's beloved mule. He was reluctant to sell Bartram in order to pay off the Destiny Gang, which was the catalyst for his discovery of Evergreen's crown. It's good to see that he was at least able to keep his mule after that whole ordeal.

This show has conditioned us to expect blood when someone dies, so perhaps Farmworld Finn isn't dead despite this looking like a killing blow. Either way, I don't think we'll be seeing him again.

The dream in this episode's credits is a bunny with a sword.

[fromtenthousandfeet]

The Goose That Laid the "Golden" Egg

When Jungkook's Golden album came out I have to admit I was really confused about exactly who the songs were supposed to appeal to. The explicit lyrics in Seven and 3D really didn't fit with your average BTS fan. The collabs were strange, too. Usher and Justin Timberlake? Was this album geared towards old Millennials? Jack Harlow and Latto (who, by the way, is hardly a household name here in the US) - rap enthusiasts? DJ Snake and Major Lazer - EDM fans? Was the album geared towards men or women? Young or old? Like who the heck was the target market?

And then one day it hit me. I was asking the wrong question! The target market didn't matter one iota. The right question was cui bono? Or rather, who stands to gain? This got me started digging into the song credits on JK's album. And here's what I discovered - every collaborator has writing credits.

Let's break it down.

3D featuring Jack Harlow. Harlow has writing credits. Justin Timberlake has writing credits on the remix.

Closer to You featuring Major Lazer. Diplo, a.k.a. Thomas Pentz, has writing and producing credits.

Seven featuring Latto. Latto, a.k.a. Alyssa Stephens, has writing credits.

Standing Next to You Usher Remix. Usher Raymond IV has writing credits.

Please Don't Change featuring DJ Snake. DJ Snake, a.k.a. William Grigahcine, has writing and producing credits.

The features are paid up front for their collaboration, and then, because they have writing credits, they will continue to earn royalties from streams and sales. Not a bad deal for the folks listed above. The same goes for the well-known song writers and producers on the album, like David Stewart, Andrew Watt, Jon Bellion, Shawn Mendes, Ed Sheeran, and many others. Here's an article about how royalties work for those who care:

I shudder to think how much was spent on marketing Seven/Golden. I assume HYBE America paid for marketing expenses since Scooter was the one doing A&R while leveraging his extensive web of contacts in the music industry. I don't know this for certain, though, without seeing HA and BH's expenditures. Either way, someone paid iHeartRadio (among others) for media play and radio airplay. And then there were paid advertisements all over social media platforms, including forced adverts on YouTube that counted towards Billboard charts.

So much money was spent on Spotify. Paid playlists, paid playlist positions, Spotify Discovery Mode. I know Spotify also modified the search algorithm so JK's Seven would pop up first in the results when one searched for Jimin. If I remember correctly, this happened in YouTube as well (such a dirty move). Like, somebody got paid to rewrite code to override the search function.

More money was paid for media play with Billboard, Rolling Stone, Forbes, and I'm pretty sure NME and Consequence of Sound, too. There were probably many adverts I didn't notice. And then there were performances, awards, and his ad campaign which I won't discuss but I've definitely wondered who paid whom for that endorsement deal.

I don't need to go on and on rehashing 2023, but what I want to point out is that BIG MONEY was spent on the roll out of Jungkook's first single and subsequent album. Was Seven the most expensive single in pop music history? And cui bono? Not Big Hit, since essentially none of the in-house writers and producers were involved. Streams don’t yield big payouts and the digital singles and albums were often sold at a discount. Jungkook didn’t make huge bank since he had zero writing or producing credits. But Scooter Braun's clients and industry friends seemed to do pretty well. And just about every company that's related to the western music industry received payments for pushing and playing the songs from Golden.

So, I see two potential scenarios here.

Number One! HYBE used Golden as a means to, shall we say, line the pockets of the western music industry (cough...bribe...cough) so that releases from HYBE labels will get treated favorably in the future. Also, given the scope of marketing, media play, playlisting, and radio play, Golden could have been used for market research to determine where the company gets the most return on investment in terms of reach and charting. I think you can see this with the rollout of Illit's Magnetic, which has heavy Spotify Discovery Mode and a huge focus on TikTok, but very little standard media play via the traditional music media outlets. And no posters.

Number Two! Scooter Braun saw this album as an opportunity to financially enrich his friends, colleagues, and the companies he has investments in, like Spotify. Was he siphoning money out of HYBE by promising to make Bang PD's dream of western validation come true? Can't you see Scooter whispering sweet nothings into Bang's ear? "Mr. PD, give me a big budget and I will make you the biggest music mogul in 1,000 years!"

Whatever the grand scheme was behind Golden, one thing's for sure, the western music industry and social media platforms made out like bandits.

FYI:

HYBE America lost more in 2023 than Big Hit earned.

HYBE America Sales: 226.3 billion Net Profit: -142.4 billion won

Big Hit Music Sales: 552.3 billion Net Profit: 140.3 billion won

142 billion won is just under 105 million USD. Yowza.

In other news, HYBE Corporation was designated a conglomerate today. I'll try to unpack the implications of this if anyone is interested.

[effieotto]

I’m so glad that you share the sentiment of Effie deserving to do more with her life after the revolution than be a housewife, girl has her whole life ahead of her 😭

Effie being the one to make more compromises and catering to Haymitch’s needs is one of the reasons why most post revolution fics about them leave such a bitter taste in my mouth. One person giving up self realization for the other is bound to lead to resentment.

Thank you for saying this. I felt really bad when i posted it, because a lot of people misinterpreted my comment as i was saying that be a housewife was a bad thing or that Effie should have stayed in the Capitol like nothing had changed…and that’s NOT what i think! I mean, she was kept in captivity and tortured for almost a year, of course she wouldn’t be okay after that! Of course she would have some limitations and probably wouldn’t afford a formal employment or anything oficial, but that doesn’t mean she should stay at home sewing and netting like she was fucking eighty years old

I am not asking to make her a CEO of a big ass company and ignore the limitations her mental -and probably physical- condition requires, i am just saying Effie is a city girl who spent her whole life delighted with the overwhelming power of the city and seeking validation by overdoing things! She IS a hurricane, this is a huge part of her personality, i don’t see this going well with a life of just sewing and having sex (even though i can see her doing it a lot in her free time, Effie Trinket would die of boredom in a week if that was all she had to do)

And let’s be racional, she could be happy in twelve with Haymitch, she could have a less stressful life with him and the children, but it doesn’t mean she had to stop being her authentic self and unfortunately this requires a lot of things happening and i don’t see Haymitch coping well with her destroying his house cause she has too much energy to spend and all she has to do is sell goose eggs

She can have a boutique, she can work for Twelve’s government, she can help Peeta at the bakery, she can be a teacher…she has so many possibilities that goes well with a calm like, i don’t know why they need to turn her into a damn grandmother at 36

plus, we can’t say Effie is a Housewife, BECAUSE SHE IS NOT EVEN A WIFE! They don’t even get married! We lost our Effie and don’t even get the wedding and this kills me every time…..

ps: i am not saying all the writers do it, or that the ones who does are bad writer…i just don’t agree with this specific outcome for the character. No need to take it personally

[herbi-cide]

you know how my directory post mentions asking about my ocs? well here's your opening for that! here's a compilation of a few drawings of my absolute favorite oc, kelso! some information about him will be right after the pictures :)

kelso is a transmasculine and bisexual person who uses they/them and he/him as pronouns, with no specific preference for either.

he is polish, and it's his native language. he learned english after moving to the US.

he is 28 years old and works as a mortician, but he also paints and collects bones and trinkets as hobbies! he also loves the movie making process, and has a crazy amount of DVDs.

he has 3 cats: hattie (old orange cat that he brought with him from poland), goose (a big grey maine coon), and toothless (a fluffy black cat, named after the dragon of the same name).

he loves sweets and, for some reason, hard boiled eggs. he puts salt on them and munches away. yes i am serious.

and the alternate outfit was made entirely for fun! :o)

happy asking!