#Zebesians

[nerdy-the-artist]

Batta, the Culture of the Zebesian Space Pirates

The Metroid Prime series has introduced the internal workings of the Space Pirates and expanded on it in subsequent entries. However, it is largely agreed upon by groups with the Metroid community (myself included) that the Space Pirates are a faction made up of many species. After all, the biology of the different enemy types in the Prime series alone is wildly different from game to game, aside from a bipedal, hunched posture. It can be assumed, therefore, that any discrepancies from game to game when describing the inner workings of the Space Pirates to simply be the culture of those individual species. For instance, the Urtraghians have far more brutal forms of punishment than the forces seen on Tallon IV. Now that then begs the question.

What about the culture of the Zebesians?

This exploration will, admittedly, be full of conjecture and fanons that I enjoy, but I hope you will enjoy either way.

The name Zebesian seems a bit strange to those who know the inner workings of Metroid lore, specifically about the Chozo, who were the residents of planet Zebes before the Space Pirates stormed the planet. The two big schools of thought as to the name from a Watsonian perspective are either that the Zebesians were driven off of Zebes in years past during the Chozo’s warlike past or that the name comes from their settlement upon Zebes that essentially became the way most of the Galaxy thought about the planet.

While I prefer the latter explanation, the former explanation does have some basis to it. Some of Dread’s many murals depict Mawkin soldiers coming into conflict with the Zebesian Space Pirates and defeating them. It is certainly possible that this is how the Chozo first settled the world. There was once a time when the Thoha Chozo were on good terms with the Mawkin.

Still, from both a Watsonian and Doylist perspective, I prefer that the Zebesian name comes from their takeover of Zebes, likely the latest conquest of many. From throughout the series, the Chozo are not seen to have been particularly active in galactic politics during the age of the Galactic Federation, mostly being relegated to advising more public figures. They are rarely mentioned after their demise, outside of their ruins. Therefor, with the Chozo mostly being dead and buried, their world conquered by the feared Space Pirates, the limelight would then be cast onto that world as the source of the Metroid threat, thus leading people to call them the rulers of that world. It’s not exactly how I will be situating things in my own rewrite of the manga, but it does fit better from a purely canonical perspective. Furthermore, from a Doylist perspective, there is evidence to posit this same position. (Special thanks to @sepublic for pointing this out) The internal data for the Zebesian sprite refers to them as Batta, the Japanese word for grasshopper/locust. While this can be attributed to their hopping behavior, it also fits to see them surrounding a planet, consuming its resources, and leaving barren rock behind, with Zebes being their latest, and most successful, operation. The manga displays them descending onto worlds, massacring populations, and enslaving the survivors. The origin of Samus Aran’s adoption into the Chozo comes from them massacring the population of a colony in order to steal its main export wholesale.

The individuals we see in the manga are spiteful, remorseless, and cruel, happy to kill a child for fun. They also show fear and cowardice in the face of armed resistance from Federation officials, and Mother Brain describes them as inclined to capitulate to the highest power present. This cruel, despotic leadership style appears to be an inherent trait to Zebesian culture. Furthermore, the Space Pirates are displayed as having genetically altered themselves to withstand Zebes’s environment very soon after securing the world, suggesting an avid fascination with genetic manipulation, a trait that gets taken to the N’th degree in the Prime series, along with a fascination of mechanical augmentation. From Meta and Proteus Ridley, to the grafted metal implants of the Tallon IV pirates, to the exoskeleton apparatus used by the Urtraghians, the Space Pirates as a whole seem to love cybernetically augmenting themselves and their underlings.

One of my favorite fan interpretations of the Zebesians comes from @dappercritter and the fanfiction piece “No Other”. Quite frankly, I have to include the paragraph wherein the description of the Zebesian race lies.

“The chimeric splice-junkies who had the nerve to call themselves ‘Zebesians’ she wasn’t surprised by. Those ‘settler colonists’-a term which they use to feign altruism and keep the GDF from assaulting their new base, had always been a thorn in Samus’s side since they tried to take her and the Chozo’s old home by force. Of course, they’d come back for more at some point, even if they deserved every other beatdown.”

The Zebesians are described as “chimeric splice-junkies”, a term which I absolutely love for its descriptiveness and color. These guys love to juice themselves up on whatever science team has cooked up. They love genetic modifications, cybernetic implants, and anything to make themselves stronger and give them an edge in combat. The main villain of this story, Ganzer, is the apotheosis of a Zebesian. He has replaced his lobster claws with metal claws, he has wings on his back, chainsaw blades grafted to his arms, a shoulder mounted cannon, a visor in place of his eyes, extra armor over his exoskeleton, and even a reptilian tail. Additionally, there is an explanation here for the name of these Zebesians. These galactic jerks are not just genocidal maniacs, they are something far worse: lawyers. They have lawyered their way into exploiting the Federation’s rules of engagement. After all, orbital bombardment on a colony is illegal. So, as any good lawyer would do, they have designated their most valuable planet as their residential colony world. Doesn’t matter that they breed Metroids, produce weapons, and store their fleets there, cuz that’s where the children grow up, at least on paper.

Furhermore, given their distinctly crustacean design, I can imagine that their “splice-junky” lifestyle comes into play during a specific recurring period of their life; molting. When a crustacean molts, the new shell is soft and malleable for a time, in which time they are extremely vulnerable. Defensive claws and stingers are effectively useless, leaving them defenseless until their body hardens. This time could be perfect for Zebesians to how in the infusion tank to get ‘roided up on whatever DNA infusions they choose/have chosen for them, or to have cybernetic implants grafted into them, where the shell will then solidify and seal the implant on. You can just imagine some excited Zebesian chittering about how they ordered the new model of targeting armature, lamenting that they have to wait until the next molt to get it installed. It honestly opens up some room for a bit of downtime in their culture which I think could be explored further some time.

Hope you all enjoyed this one! I may make a similar post for some of the other Space Pirate varieties. I do have some unique fanons for the Urtraghians that could be cool to share. Let me know if you have any suggestions or fanons of your own!

[alligator-dreaming]

11-15-2023

Had a dream about an alternate universe Star Wars in which there was no Chosen One prophecy. Anakin was a padawan being trained at an artifact temple on Tatooine by my Mom, the great jedi master. Anakin stumbled upon a great power when Zebesians attacked and destroyed the temple, and Anakin caused a stir by daring to question if the Zebesians were always irredeemably evil

[thecongressman1]

Samus Aran surrounded in the depths of Zebes

[sepublic]

Super Metroid’s internal data refers to the Zebesians as Batta, which according to Wikitroid is based on the Japanese word for locusts.

I hc the Zebesians as a marauding, nomadic race. They’re the original Space Pirates and fit the term the most out of the other coalition species. Between their eugenicist and colonial beliefs, the reference to locusts makes me imagine them as a species that invades a planet to use as their homeworld, uses up all of its resources without concern for sustainability, and then moves to the next planet once it’s all burned down. And Zebes is just the latest planet.

The internal data thus makes me tempted to use Batta as the true name of the Zebesians, or the basis for one; Sakamoto confirmed they’re not actual from Zebes, taking the name the same way colonizers like Americans do. But it makes you wonder what they called themselves beforehand, plus I can’t see the Federation and especially not Samus recognizing this new name.

After all, the Zebesians’ conquest of Zebes is very recent within their species’ history; Even if most, if not all of them, moved to Zebes after Mother Brain welcomed them in, there must’ve been some who struggled to adjust.

So, Batta (or something similar) it is. I also want to consider the names of the other Pirate species we see as well; I like to call the Aether Pirates the Shawk, in reference to how they’re called Shock Beasts in the original concept art for Metroid Prime 1.5, where they were chimeras of Space Pirate DNA and some other creatures.

Still, that leaves the Tallon IV and Beyond pirates… And I bet you’re also thinking of the Bermuda pirates but tbh, a part of me speculates/sees them as just the same aforementioned Aether pirates? I want to get more into that, some other time.

[azazelleviathan]

269 followers that so awesome its like i was destined to rule this place, im liek god if you think about it

[robug-lyon]

A Space Pirate Zebesian, broken free from the usual rigors of what his kind normally were. Being one of the last remaining of his kind (presumably anyway) he set onto his own journey to carve out his own existence in this galaxy.

[saucylobster]

I fucking love this art

Japanese Cover ‘Super Metroid’ Super Nintendo

[loreleywrites]

OK I keep losing my mind because the biggest reveal in the Metroid Prime 4: Beyond trailer wasn't the return of Sylux, it was the return of an even deeper cut. Look at this shot from the trailer:

At first glance, this is just Sylux flanked by two metroids. Pretty normal for a Metroid game villain! It's even supported by the secret ending to Metroid Prime: Federation Force, which shows Sylux walking up to a Metroid in a tube.

Except these aren't Metroids.

Metroids have three nuclei, but these things next to Sylux? They only have one each. "Well maybe they're new kinds of metroids," you might say. But you don't need to say that. Because Metroid already has an alien that looks like a single-nucleus metroid.

Meet the mochtroid:

In Super Metroid, the Zebesian Space Pirates recover the Baby Metroid and do all kinds of experiments on it. One of those experiments is a cloning program to propegate a new army of metroids. Their first attempts were failures, producing organisms far weaker than the engineered bioweapons they were cloned from. These failed experiments were dubbed "mochtroids" and can be found in Maridia. They can still drain energy, but are easy to dislodge and even easier to kill. This is their only canon appearance.

Why does Sylux have mochtroids and not metroids? What is Sylux planning with them? Is there a real metroid breeding program it's running somewhere?

There's a lot of questions, but Sylux is a character with so little existing lore that it's impossible to say right now beyond, "It's targeting its hate at the Galactic Federation generally and Samus Aran specifically," which is all we really know about the character anyway.

I, for one, have been a huge Sylux fan since its debut in Metroid Prime Hunters. Excited to see what all this is about.

[winged-void]

Samus shocks Zebesian waitress by ordering in perfect plasma beam

[nerdy-the-artist]

Nerdy the Artist’s Metroid Fanfic Spotlight part 2!

This is something I’ve been needing to do for a hot minute now. As I said last time, there are so many talented writers, artists, and musicians in the Metroid fanbase. The level of creativity and passion for the series is just astounding. Today we will be taking a look at some of the many fanfictions out there. I’ve read these stories myself and can personally attest that they are well worth your time to read. From the cute and fluffy to the grotesque and violent, these stories have earned their place on my recommendations. Without further adue, let’s start this thing.

1. Mostly Just a Power Suit

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17637701

This story, written by Planet_Bryyo, is short and sweet, diving into a fan favorite but rarely explored character of Weavel from Metroid Prime Hunters. In spite of his fan favorite status among the hunters, up there even with Sylux, you’ll be hard pressed to find many fics featuring him. This story shows off his reaction to being transformed into a Non-Zebesian form during his cybernetic reconstruction. The story also spends a great deal of time focusing on the reactions of other Space Pirates seeing this fallen commander, now a lone wolf who is more machine than… man? Alien terminology, ugh. In any case you can see their reactions to this loose cannon in a bar setting. Side tangent, the idea of a Space Pirate bar is actually really unique. We don’t see much of Space Pirates at rest anywhere, so this is actually a welcome touch.

2. Fallen from the Nest

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53675155/chapters/135874063

Going all in on Bounty Hunters this spotlight, I suppose. This story, written by PuriKuma, is much longer than Mostly Just a Power Suit, though still digestible. This is part of a larger series that I do recommend, but I’ll stick to talking about this entry for now. Keeping with the Hunters appreciation, this story depicts a shared mission between Samus and Noxus, the Vhozon Bounty Hunter from the same game as Weavel and Sylux. The mission brief is simple; a criminal organization called the Ashlings, lead by the physically imposing Andron, have taken hostages, including a Federation Senator, to barter in exchange for a precious and expensive ore. Samus is to go after the Ashling secret base while Noxus intercepts the hostages so that the criminals are not rewarded for their efforts. However, what gives Samus pause is the identity of one of their members. From there, the story takes plenty of intriguing twists and turns. The ways in which Samus and Noxus play off each other in this story are extremely entertaining and interesting to watch. It also adds a fair bit to the latter’s character which I have yet to see anywhere else, a sarcastic playfulness in his attitude that bounces well off of Samus’s stoicism. He’s able to taunt and poke fun at the emotional core behind the front that Samus puts on. Their interactions alone would be worth a read, but the plots twists and mysteries involved really take this story to the next level. This story, and the series it’s a part of, are an instant classic for me.

3. A Win

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48254998/chapters/121695439

Sometimes, we all just need a reminder that we’re doing good, that we aren’t a burden, that we are worthy, that our actions have helped people. This story, written by orphan_account, is that for Samus Aran. Taking place after the events of Metroid Dread, Samus is in a bit of a slump after feeling like she’s only seen as a threat or a tool for higher powers. To attempt some soul searching, she journeys to one of the few game settings that is left better than when she arrived; Aether. She wanders through a reinvigorated and rehabilitated world, free from the influence of Dark Aether and Space Pirates, seeing how the world has healed in her time away. Granted, I am not too familiar with Metroid Prime 2, so much of the reader’s catharsis is likely lost on me. Still, even as someone who has little prior knowledge of the past of Aether, this story still is a nice, sentimental journey, with an appearance from some old friends.

4. Hatchling

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29039376/chapters/71275923

Now, back to where it all began. This story, written by MetroidReploid, is a retelling of an old tale we all know, the story of Samus Aran losing everything. This retelling focuses more on Samus’s life as a child, going into detail about the life she lives, so that when the Space Pirates take it all away, we understand what exactly she’s losing. There’s also some further fleshing out of Adam here as well. He shows up as a young, bright Federation Officer with a preexisting connection to Virginia Aran, Samus’s mother, a connection which has strained her relationship with Rodney Aran. Unlike the simple housewife we see in the manga, Virginia is portrayed as a working mom, leading a security firm tasked with guarding K2-L. Rodney, by contrast, is a bitter, angry man who takes his public image, and that of his company, very seriously. It’s a story full of a lot of angst, but it does its job fairly well in terms of adding some reason to why things happen and when.

5. “Sammy”

Link:

Now, if you need a break from all the angst and dreariness, SeleneLawfulGood has you covered! This story is a short and sweet fluff story, featuring a young woman named Thae’Lia finding a tired but very attractive woman at a bar named Sammy. I think we all know the twist so I won’t beat around the bush. It’s really cute (and with some mild lemon toward the end but you didn’t hear that from me) and displays a rarely seen aspect of the series; how do the citizens of the Galactic Federation view Samus Aran? We rarely, if ever, see non-combatant intelligent life in any Metroid game, so we don’t really get much of that. It also gives a view into what the life of a Bounty Hunter is like. It’s a very lonely, tiring existence that, while it pays well when you save the Galaxy, like, 5 times, needs an extra aspect to be fulfilling. For Samus, it’s the moral obligation she feels. It’s a very cute read, and if you need something sweet, this’ll do the job. Also, trans Samus solidarity.

6. Let Me Tell You How Much I’ve Come To Hate You

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45854323

Getting back to Space Pirates, doorstopQuiet has delved into an aspect of the series that even Metroid Prime itself largely glosses over; Ridley’s reconstruction into Meta Ridley. In truth, it was largely not his idea. As the highest ranking survivor of Samus’s rampage on Zebes, Ridley got lobbed with the blame for the cataclysm. The only reason he had survived was a great shame for the Cunning God of Death. He played dead. He let himself sink into Norfair’s magma, slowly burning away his flesh, but at least he had some chance to survive. He was crippled, mangled, burnt to a crisp, but at least she would not kill him. Still, High Command’s punishment, their loathing of the failed god, was almost worse. He would not command armies, he would not have the same autonomy he once did. He would become a machine for their empire, reconstructed as a tool. It’s a great short story, filled with colorful language and allusions to his past to hammer home the gravity of how far he’s sunk. There are also plenty of references and quotations from Man on The Internet’s Ridley theme vocal cover, which I do find entertaining. I find this to be an excellent read, and really reimagines Meta Ridley in Metroid Prime as a fallen god, stripped of his authority, and sent after the one who felled him.

7. Independent Contractors

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/40993332?view_adult=true

This story, written by ifThen_doWhile, shows off Samus in a post Fusion Federation, one that has grown far more wary of her. They still have need of her, however, and so an agent of the Federation is sent to hire a Samus who has not been returning digital requests for her services. The agent, named Aiden, is sent in with top of the line weaponry in case things go south, alongside surveillance of the Hunter’s activities. Upon finding her, Aiden is in for a big surprise. This story really hammers home how heart poundingly nerve racking it is to approach the Hunter who has destroyed 3 planets, especially when tensions are running hot. Samus is portrayed as pragmatic but quiet, her demeanor easily misinterpreted as callous indifference, a guise she leans into at times. It’s a very good, suspenseful story that I highly recommend.

8. Metroid: No Other

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59261113

This story, written by @dappercritter , is actually my most recent read. What’s this? An actual Tumblr link? For once, yes. I saw the announcement post on Tumblr that it was out and jumped at the opportunity to read it. It’s quite good, but quite long. Don’t let the 1 chapter limit fool you, you might not finish it in 1 sitting. In any case, No Other starts off with something of a trope among fanfictions; Other M as an in-universe film. I still find it amusing. However, as this story follows on after Dread, Adam comments on Samus not taking care of herself properly, not addressing any of the trauma from ZDR, avoiding social events, and generally withdrawing from the world around her, prompted by an increasing distrust of the Federation, and the Galaxy as a whole. We also see that Samus does not seem to trust Adam, both due to his origin as an AI made to spy on her, and increased by Raven Beak’s mimicry of him. It’s an angle I haven’t seen anywhere else and is a welcome change of pace. In any case, Samus further withdraws from Adam and into what she does best; Bounty Hunting. However, shortly after her arrival to planet Ohma-984, a new threat emerges, intent on bringing out her dark side. Without going into spoilers, the antagonist’s design is absolutely badass, and I might actually draw him some time. The action sequences in this story, likewise, are absolutely brutal and well thought out. There’s a lot of noticeable influences from other franchises like Godzilla, Metal Gear Rising, and Doom that feel well at home in this story and don’t take away from it at all though that may be me simply being a fan of those series. DapperCritter mentioned specifically Shin Kamen Rider, though I’m not a fan of that series, so I can’t attest to how prominent the influence is. Regardless, it’s a thought provoking story with plenty of brutal action packed in as well, plus I love the original character designs, which take from canon while tagging on further additions.

Honorable Mention: Kanden Story Pitch

Link: https://www.tumblr.com/sepublic/759167079922417664/kanden-debut-pitch

I’m putting this as an honorable mention as it is meant as an outline for a story, so it may not scratch the same itch for some people as a fully written out story. This outline, by @sepublic is meant for a hypothetical Metroid animated series, similar to the original Clone Wars series (not THE Clone Wars!) by Genndy Tartakovsky. This one off features another under appreciated Bounty Hunter, Kanden, facing off against Samus over a Metroid which could give him true power unrivaled. It’s an excellent read, though, once again, if you’re looking for something more completed/traditional, I can understand if this doesn’t suck you in as well. However, I am currently working on a storyboard of this story. I won’t be animating it in full, but there will be sound effects, music, and voice acting. So uh… stay tuned for that!

As I said at that start, these stories are great, and really show off the passion these writers have for the series. However, there are plenty more out there. In the comments, share some of your favorite Metroid Fanfictions you’ve read. I can always do with expanding my Metroid reading list and I’m sure some of you feel the same way.

[coldgoldlazarus]

I also am pretty sure this is the reason for the Long Beam discrepancy. The newer suit MB designed, whether for the sake of streamlining or sabotage out of envy, must have had a differently designed arm cannon. Thus why power beam shots would fizzle out at a pretty short range without the appropriate hardware installed to give them greater longevity, but it is literally never an issue ever again after this, when she has the Fully-Powered Suit.

Since the Long Beam never shows up in the inventory screens, I can only conclude that the arm cannon of the Fully-Powered Suit either just has that hardware built directly in by default, or is otherwise designed differently on a more fundamental level so as to not need it.

The interesting part here is that RB is the only other person we see with a Chozo-designed beam cannon. If only we could see his own upgrade module inventory, because I feel like that could possibly tell us some interesting things about the original NES/ZM suit. If he does indeed rely on a Long Beam module, that supports the idea of Chozo tech evolving in sometimes counterproductive ways, which is fascinating from a thematic and worldbuilding perspective.

On the other hand, if he too lacks it, then that instead suggests something different is going on, and calls into question why the Long Beam exists as a separate item, if it's not the result of an evolution in Chozo beam cannon technology.

Part of me wants to say that it could be intentional; a decision on Mother Brain's part to hinder Samus with an underpowered suit. This doesn't entirely hold up to scrutiny, though, since if that's the case MB could have gone much further than cutting off a few upgrades and requiring another that wouldn't normally be needed, so I still am inclined to pin the Unknown Artifacts thing on backwards compatibility issues. Plus, if that was the plan, then a dedicated Long Beam module to get around that probably wouldn't exist.

Instead, I kinda feel like it may come down more to a specific split in design direction between Mawkin and Zebesian tribes; the Mawkin favoring war and absolute power, would of course not have time for unnecessary module-ifying of default hardware, and simply opt to keep it in. (And in fact, there may be other common upgrades in Samus's arsenal that are simply the default in Mawkin powersuits.)

The Zebesian Chozo, however, might have shifted further in favor of streamlined optimization and specialization, trimming any excess features from the default suit and making them into separate upgrades, and the Long Beam was simply a particularly silly logical extreme of that - clearly, some warriors may simply never need to shoot at a range greater than five feet!

That plane post reminded me of a funny thought I had earlier. Raven Beak has a powersuit and arm cannon a lot like Samus's, and even shares a few abilities, but also utilizes a bunch that she has never historically had.

We also know from the manga that the powersuit she has for most of Zero Mission is a newer model custom-designed by the Chozo and Mother Brain. (before the latter's betrayal, anyway.) This one was unable to recognize and fully make use of certain upgrades, but presumably with the trade-off being a slimmer build (lacking the giant 'clunky' (iconic) shoulders and keeping a flatter chestplate, even with the Varia suit equipped) and access to newer upgrade designs that older suits might in turn have trouble interfacing with, such as Raven Beak's fancier abilities. Even the Chozo were not immune to the onward march of backwards compatibility limitations, it seems.

But then she passes the mural test and gets the fully-powered suit, an older design able to use the extra ancient upgrades the prior one could not, and despite design shifts across most of the games, I think it's safe to assume that that's the same base suit she's operating with from there onward. We know it has a certain level of regenerative capability, thus why it still looks pretty untouched after all the punishment it takes, but even then it still gets halfway-disassembled in Fusion, stripping away all the outer armor completely, and taking however long between then and Dread to recover a bit of its original form, while still being distinctly less armored than it used to be, a lot of the same organic bits from Fusion still exposed to open air.

So with all this in mind, there's a certain hilarity in the end of Dread. Raven Beak's sitting here in his hyperadvanced, up-to-date and top-of-the-line powersuit, the equivalent of an F-22 Raptor, thinking he's hot shit. And then Samus rocks up in her old suit, the equivalent of not just a dinky WWII prop plane, but a dinky WWII prop plane that's missing half the fuselage like it was left unattended too long in Detroit, and flies absolute circles around him. Sure, he nearly saves it towards the end of the fight until RAGE, but the fact that it is as much of a proper fight as it is becomes kinda funny (and also very badass on her part) from this perspective.

[carldoonan]

These Zany Li’l Zebesians say: “Squaw-gawk! We cost speedrunners like 25 seconds! Ook ooh OOH!” 👽🦤🐒

[spinningbuster98]

Metroid Other M Part 6: Samus' weakness

Ok so this part is in Japanese, mainly because I had to record it again after the original video proved faulty (it had only audio but no video) so I thought to give it a change of pace of sorts, don’t look at me I had to technically replay this game twice for this

So we start off with might just be the single dumbest case of backtracking in the entire series: you make your way up a snowy hill and through a series of morph ball tunnels only to reach a room with a switch that you can’t hit due to an unbreakable window. The Wave Beam would be able to hit it, but apparently Lord Adam is asleep again so we gotta make our way back only to get ambushed by Zebesians trapping us in a glass cage. NOW Adam wakes up and allows use of the Wave Beam, meaning that NOW you get to go back the way you came from to hit that switch from before

This is the very definition of arbitrary, it’s so lazy and thrown together like they felt the need to check a box off a list. Oh Metroid games have backtracking? Well here’s some backtracking I guess! It’s so monotonous, you’re just retracing your steps with nothing to make the trip back shorter or more different, aside from there being a couple of electrified floors in the morph ball tunnel now. This is an actual waste of time

Wanna know what’s also a waste of time in this game?

Samus’ character

Yeah it’s time for the Ridley scene everybody, you all knew this was coming, we could only avoid it for so long

To put it simply there are essentially two main interpretations for this scene:

The most popular one is that Samus is suffering from a PTSD attack upon discovering that Ridley, murderer of her parents, is alive again

So many criticisms have been leavied against this idea over the years, but also some counter points

Some people say that she’s justified in having this panic attack because she was absolutely sure to have killed Ridley this time after Zebes exploded so this caught her completely by surprise. I don’t agree with this interpretation because she was also 100% sure of having killed Ridley after Metroid 1 yet upon meeting him again in Prime 1 (or, excluding Prime, Samus Returns/Super) she doesn’t react in any particular way other than trying to attack him with no hesitation

Some say that her not suffering from any episodes in the past doesn’t necessarily mean she wouldn’t now, especially by virtue of her more fragile mental state in this game, as PTSD attacks aren’t always consistent. I say that a story that features a seeming PTSD attack once and then never tackles the issue or even references it ever again probably isn’t very interested in giving a good portrayal of PTSD so I don’t feel like giving it the benefit of the doubt in the matter

And speaking of Samus’ mental state in this game

The other, somewhat more recent, interpretation for this scene is that it’s not supposed to be a PTSD attack at all, but rather Samus being violently reminded of her weakness as a person upon seeing that Ridley is still alive yet again despite her best efforts. This interpretation is supposedly present in the Japanese script. I say supposedly because I have not noticed any part of the script hinting at this, in fact I’d say that the scene does a pretty bad job at NOT looking like it’s featuring a PTSD attack given that Samus is quite literally hyper ventilating and losing control of her armor. But whatever, let’s go with this direction

Herein lies the fundemental issue of this scene, which is also the fundemental issue of this game’s story: the game is so laser focused on portraying Samus’ vulnerabilities as a person that it forgets to shows us her strenghts. It puts so much effort in breaking her down yet forgets to build her back up

See I don’t care about whether the Ridley scene is supposed to represent a PTSD attack or not. I don’t even particularily care about whether it makes logical sense to have it or not. My big problem is what this scene represents and how it’s basically a symptom of the big underlying problem

This game wants to humanize Samus. If you read just about any interview by Sakamoto about this game chances are he mentions something about this.

And that’s fine

Wanting to showcase the hidden vulnerabilities of a character that’s usually portrayed as being strong and stoic is not a bad idea, it can make the character feel like well...a character, a person.

The issue is that when you put so, SO much focus on the negative aspects of a character you kinda run the risk of forgetting what it was that made that character compelling in the first place

See, more often than not, people don’t wanna see characters who are complete, ineffectual fuck ups 100% of the time. The point of wanting to deconstruct a character and showcase their weaknesses is that you should then proceed to rebuild them, to have them crawl back from the pit, the harder the fall the more satisfying it will be when said character pulls themselves together

Ever read the manga Berserk?

In it we find a character called Farnese

When she’s introduced she’s presented as the leader of a religious company of knights and the daughter of the richest noble family in the land. She has a large group of men under her command and generally looks like she means business

...except we then find out that, deep down, Farnese is not all she’s cracked up to be: she can’t actually fight, having been chosen as leader of the group purely out of tradition. Most of her men don’t respect her, her religious faith is actually a lot flimsier than even she dared to realize and, above all...she literally had no real skills whatsoever, being a noble lady who had been pampered all her life. All of this wrapped up in a nice little package of childhood trauma and insecurities

Farnese’s entire character is brought down, deconstructed down to her barest elements, to the point that even she openly realizes just how worthless she is

But after this is when Farnese’s character starts to rise, as she makes a great effort at improving herself as a person, at finding a never before seen sense of courage and at finally becoming truly strong in her own way

Samus’ character arc in Other M feels like it’s focusing on the first steps...only for it to then call it a day before undergoing those last few, yet still acting like it did, though I’ll get more into detail next time as I feel it’s more appropriate

What makes it even worse is the fact that, frankly, she has little reason to act the way that she does here

Some like to say that it’s not a contradiction, as Samus never spoke in other games, so she had no discernable personality. After all Other M presents itself as showing us the “true” Samus, even down to the Japanese cover having this little gimmick with basically having an over-cover with Samus’ helmet, while the real cover underneath has her actual face, thus meaning that you have to “unmask” Samus to play the game. Get it?

Except people seem rather quick to forget Fusion, y’know that game that served as 90% of the basis for Other M, including by having Samus in a speaking role. And while there are certainly some similarities in both portrayals, Fusion Samus is nowhere close to being this insecure, passive and ineffective as she is here

But even ignoring that it’s pretty clear that the in-universe reason for Samus’ emotional state in this game is due to the Baby’s death.

And really?

Really?

Look, I’m not one of those fans who say that she’s never had any sort of attachment to the Baby because she gave it to scientists. That was at the start of Super, by the end she was clearly furious with Mother Brain for killing it, so she had definitely started to develop some degree of affection for the thing

...but to the point of its death breaking her? And I do mean “break”, later on upon seeing another Baby Metroid she fucking starts hyper ventilating

She knew the Baby for what? A couple of days at most? Yeah having it die on top of you after it protected and saved you is horrible, no doubt about that, but it’s hard to believe that Samus would be so broken up about it after so long: remember that during the intro Samus states that quite a bit of time had passed after the events of Super, evidently enough for the GF to start a whole illegal program on board of a space station, so we’re talking months at least, yet I’m supposed to believe that she’s still THIS torn up about it?

Samus watched her parents die, she had her foster parents driven away from their planet, has had to personally kill 3 bounty hunters who were possessed...yet this is what breaks her?

I guess I could believe it...had there been enough narrative build up in the games, which there simply wasn’t. After Super the only other game to make mention of the Baby was Fusion, where Samus only mentions it in passing and that’s it. Other M suddenly presenting its death as such a profoundly traumatic thing for her out of the blue is just so sudden that it becomes hard to swallow especially when accompanied to its consequences to Samus’ character

The funny thing is that if they truly wanted Samus to feel sad about losing something they had a much better alternative in the form of planet Zebes, her former home for over a decade, literally blowing up after Super! That’s her SECOND home being destroyed! Yet she only mentions it once like it was NOTHING!

I know that people like to say that Samus should be more than a silent stoic monolith, it’s why some hated the way she was portrayed in Dread...but guys?

Samus being a super badass has been a key feature of her character literally since day 1!

If you read Metroid 1′s manual it says that Samus’ perfect record is THE reason why she was sent to Zebes in the first place! It’s the reason why she’s always sent on these kinds of missions! And while it’s absolutely true that the character should not be limited to JUST this, it’s doubly true that it’s still a key aspect that NEEDS to be kept otherwise the series itself stops making sense on the whole!

If Other M is trying to tell me that this is what Samus really is like...then this just isn’t the same character that has quite literally been sold to me in every prior game, and not in a clever “subversive” way. She’s especially almost opposite from her Fusion portrayal, though again that one for another time

Hell she doesn’t even look like she could be a bounty hunter. Sure she can take care of random monsters and bosses, but given how little she truly accomplishes in the game, how insecure she is and everything else I find it very hard to believe that she could make it to the top of a line of work that requires you to have nerves of steel. I’m pretty sure that, in most professions that have you dealing with firearms and dangerous situations, people are psychally evaluated to make sure they won’t be a liability. Samus here is exactly that: a liability more than an asset, especially with the Ridley scene.

And all of this? Is without taking into account her relationship with dear ol’ Adam

Oh no no no, THAT is for next time...

[sepublic]

Space Pirate Ideology

In regards to my personal Metroid fanon (which is basically what it is, at this point) I want to hearken back to a previous post about how essentially, the Galactic Federation has organized itself, (un)consciously, into a caste system where each sapient species fulfills a role; Not necessarily a unique role, but this doesn't make it much better either.

Humans are the Federation's infantry; They're also called the Federation's Attack Dogs for this very reason. Humans, or 'Earthians' (Ur-THEE-enz) as they're called in this time period, are decently adaptive, and they breed relatively quickly. Not only that, but they're populous; Federation presence on other worlds leads to Earthian soldiers having families there, which then creates more Earthians for the Federation to pull from, etc. It's a positive feedback loop.

This makes Earthians more pragmatic to have as an all-encompassing infantry; Other species fulfill the roles of pilots, while Earthians are expected to fight in-person, on the ground, and so forth. But some species ARE better at warfare than Earthians; However, they're not as intertwined with Federation society, nor as endless.

In these cases, the Federation will sometimes hire these species to do the fighting for them in local areas, while retaining Earthians as the bulk and face of their armies. Some of these 'combat' species found themselves resenting the Federation for this reason; They saw that the Federation would prefer to sacrifice other non-Federation species than their own, and make them do the dirty work. Indeed, economic pressure was one way for the Federation to force other species into fighting proxy wars for them.

These examples comprise parts of the Space Pirate coalition; Such as the, for lack of an actual name, Tallon IV or Aether pirates. The Aether pirates especially are an interesting case, in that they don't have actual fingers; Their commando counterparts seem to, but I speculate this is the result of cybernetics, the pirates' Project Metamorphosis. Despite these shortcomings, the Aether pirates make up for it in their combat ability; They're faster and much more durable than Earthians, and they have shredding claws to aid them.

They may or may not be able to naturally shoot lasers from their right-claws; Or this could be a cybernetic implant to grant them ranged abilities. It's worth noting the Aether pirates were called Shock Beast in concept art, and while I presume this is a play on the term Shock Trooper, unrelated to electricity... Who knows, maybe the Aether pirates produce potent bioelectricity, otherwise contained by their carapace, that is funneled through their claws into natural firepower, or harnessed to fuel implanted weapons.

(Before we bring up the obvious weak points; My HC is that this is an additional layer of armor over their heart, so it's actually not a weak point. This could be the result of genetic modification, technology, or a natural evolution, idk.)

Lacking dexterous fingers, the Aether pirates didn't have much if any technology when they were discovered by the Federation; But they didn't need to operate technology all that much, because the Federation saw their use as better suited to combat than engineering. Wowed by advanced technology, the Aether pirates were promised it by the Federation’s dexterous, manufacturing fingers in exchange for combat service. The Aether pirates fought for the Federation, and at some point realized their arrangement was kinda bullshit because of how many of their own they had to sacrifice, while the Feds only lost property they could easily replace.

By contrast, the Tallon IV pirates have actual fingers and hands, which means they're among the most naturally advanced of the Space Pirate species, which made them better at performing science and the like. They found employment by the Federation for more sophisticated warfare than the Aether pirates, being employed in a wider variety of roles and not just ground combat. But they too found contempt for their 'masters'.

The pirates of Urtraghus, or the "Urtraghue" as I like to call them, are an interesting exception. The pirate logs from Corruption make me believe they're written by the Aether pirates, since they seem to regard Dark Samus with recognition. Likewise, the deleted log Warband (which I'm still pulling from for inspiration) refers to "The inhabitants of Urtraghus, once a minor, quarrelsome band" which makes it sound as if it's written by a different species.

This fuels the fanon I've come up with; The Urtraghue are naturally limbless eels, capable of breathing air and water. Native to the planet of Urtraghus, they had no technology, and were easily colonized by the Federation. The Federation 'enlightened' the Urtraghue by granting them cybernetic frames to act as limbs for them, but the production of these cybernetics was controlled strictly by the Federation as they forced the Urtraghue to help them extract the planet's resources. The acid rain might be a result of pollution, or a natural feature that further necessitated the exploitation of natives adapted to it.

Still, the Urtraghue figured out how to create and maintain cybernetics, as a way of gathering independence. At some point, they found liberation; Perhaps the Federation got all it wanted and left, or the Urtraghue staged a successful revolt, and/or they got help from the Space Pirates.

But that last option happened regardless; It was decided by Kraid that the Space Pirates needed a proper, physical homeworld to fall back on. This would act as a 'capital' that would be protected by a full blockade, to dissuade Federation assault. Urtraghus was targeted for the reasons mentioned above; The natives harbored resentment for the Federation, and yet despite their natural shortcomings, proved capable of overcoming their oppressors.

But they were also desperate to maintain independence, needed resources, and were not ready for another invasion. So, they turned to the Space Pirates, a deal with the devil; Kraid masterminded diplomatic negotiations, promising the Space Pirates' full support. Because so much of their infrastructure was already devoted to just base cybernetics for every citizen, it meant Urtraghus did not have the resources to spare for larger weaponry or a fleet.

The Urtraghue accepted Space Pirate membership; And in the end, they really only traded one colonizer for another. The Space Pirates took advantage of their homeworld, helping build much infrastructure and establishing a fleet around the planet, but some questioned if they were just being made into slaves of another force.

Indeed, they found little respect by their 'brethen' species, who saw them as weak and questioned the Urtaghue's place on the battlefield alongside them; Their naturally-disabled states made them more liable to a subservient caste. They found use in aquatic environments, and possibly hazardous ones due to the aforementioned acid rain; This would assign them as clean-up crew in often dangerous working conditions.

Urtraghue dissenters might've found some relief when rumors spread of the Space Pirates moving their capital to Zebes, in response to Mother Brain's new leadership; But when the Hunter destroyed her, Ridley ordered the Space Pirates to lay low, recover, and eventually reband at Urtraghus. Attempts to revolt during this time period proved a failure, and eventually high command convened at Urtraghus for the next step.

This was the perfect time to strike for Dark Samus, who crashed the Leviathan seed into Urtraghus. With this display of power towards high command and a majority of the Space Pirate forces, Dark Samus seized control of the coalition. The Urtraghue realized their planet had become out of the hands, and was now being poisoned beyond recognition! But the rest had been brainwashed by and addicted to the power of Phazon, and became loyal to Dark Samus. In the end, the Phazon Crisis ended with the Federation once more seizing the planet, all over again...

The Bermuda pirates are an unusual case for me because… They might just be the Aether pirates, based on the visual similarities? Especially if you look at the in-game model and the upper jaw they have instead of a proboscis. Their proportions are different because of the chibi art style, and we know they’re not naturally huge; The Bion amplification beam made them bigger, so any other differences from the Aether pirates might just be mutations. I do assume the Phazon-mutated Elite Pirates in Prime to be mutations of the Tallon IV species, for the same reasons. Of course these, ones have hands when the Aether ones don’t, and that’s a crucial part of my lore for them; But then again Aether commandos also have hands? Maybe some Aether pirates naturally have hands, there could be a caste/sexual dimorphism situation going on, or biological augmentation.

I can't say much about the Beyond pirates right now; But currently I'm HC'ing them as the architects of the Space Pirate fleet we see in Corruption. I say this because a Space Pirate destroyer from that game is also seen in Beyond; And as I've said, the Urtraghue had little infrastructure since they were too focused on augmenting themselves to be on the same level as their peers. So the vessels they used in Corruption are technically 'on loan' from the Beyond pirates. They’re of a different aesthetic than Zebesian craft, which is what makes me believe they’re from different makers.

I know Andrew Jones intended for the thin Flying/Aqua Pirates in Prime to be the same species as the standard Space Pirates from that same game... But tbh, they look so different that I always assumed and HC'ed them as a separate race; Likewise, I assumed the Aerotroopers in Echoes to be the same species but with an upgraded exo-suit, with subsequent variations in Corruption and Federation Force clearly being the dominant Space Pirates of their respective games, but with a jetpack added on.

So these Flying Pirates weren't used by the Federation, not successfully; The Federation used other 'employee' species to fight them on their homeworld of Stasz V, but the the Flying Pirates eventually won out. The conflict still left a bad taste in their proboscis however, and this and victory made many susceptible to Space Pirate claims of biological superiority, which they saw themselves as being a part of.

The so-called Zebesians are a case in that they were never exploited/invaded by the Federation to begin with; Sakamoto explains their name is a misnomer, akin to how Americans call themselves that despite being colonizers. Which, based; But also, it adds to my interpretation of the Zebesians as a nomadic, marauding race who was already predisposed to the idea that they were naturally superior to other species, and deserved to rule.

Even before the Space Pirates, they'd taken over other races. So when they saw the Federation, they saw weaklings having to hide behind Earthian and other variety of attack dogs. I am tying this into the Zebesians' characterization and blatant eugenics in the Zero Mission manga. They're arguably the least sympathetic of the Space Pirate species, being natural aggressors.

Not entirely sure on what backstory the Kihunters play; They're probably just literal attack animals, but I like to HC them as sapient. There is a King Kihunter, so it could be an oppressive caste system where the Kings have opted to loan out their own people to the Space Pirates in return for power; Essentially a micro-reflection of the Federation's flaws. Regular Kihunters might buy into the supremacist beliefs, nurtured by Kraid to encourage loyalty; In the end, there IS a place for all other species within the Space Pirates, it's just a demeaning one enforced by violence. The Kihunters' situation is a mix of other species'.

Speaking of the Zero Mission manga, I also want to tie that characterization more into the Space Pirates, the Zebesians, and the role of 'combat' species in the Federation. There's a scene where a Zebesian confronts Kreatz, an Elfin Federation officer, and points out that his species is demonized by the government he works for; He's clearly fighting a pointless battle here.

So I want to roll with all of this and play with the idea of Earthians as a potential parallel to the Space Pirates; They're both species used by the Federation to fight their wars for them, while other races get to enjoy cushy lives doing softer jobs, especially the leaders. The Zebesian muses that it's only a matter of time before the Federation discards the Earthians in favor of a newer, shinier toy... And Fusion could be foreshadowing this with Metroids, whom the Feds hope can be controlled by the Aurora Units.

Indeed, the use of other races such as the Elfin, or a Simian, or even a Chozo-Human hybrid like Samus, raises an interesting point; Are they not just other like other Space Pirate species, being used as stronger soldiers? Are they not just a specialized unit of the Federation, once again relying on other species for specific roles?

To be called a Diversity Hire is actually wishful thinking, their species are being set up as a resource to exploit. While shiny Earthians are used to project the idea of an independent military to defend themselves with... The Federation actually depends on other, stronger species, who despite this demand are fulfilling a subservient and detested position. Which leaves Earthians unprepared for real war; Their main advantage is in their endless, replenishing numbers, and the equipment they have, all supported by Federation economics.

There's a lot of room for resentment, for frustration, and a very obvious question; If I'm so valued by the Federation for my strength, why not embrace my value, now that I know what I'm worth? Now that I know I'm stronger, and can just as easily conquer the Federation myself; Why else would they ask for me? They demonize me despite my employment to keep me in my place! Maybe someone who can actually fight for their leadership should be in charge...!

I think this raises the possibility of Earthian Space Pirates, as seen in Zebes Invasion Order; Us 'humans' play a unique and unusual role in that we're both the oppressors AND the oppressed. Not perfect victims, which helps account for the variety of the human experience, and it plays into why the military is so human-dominant... I am going by the manga and ignoring other depictions that involve humans as fulfilling civilian leadership roles, too. Earthians are kept in place because they're too busy thriving off the power they have over others to reflect on how they're nevertheless subservient themselves.

The situation of Earthians and its parallel in the Space Pirates is my way of melding together the supremacist views of the Space Pirates in the manga, with the implications and speculation of the Space Pirates as victims of the Federation's bullshit, which plays into Sylux's partnership with them in Beyond. Because there's the tragic aspect in how many Space Pirates WERE used and exploited by the Federation.

And yet, being on the bad end of an unjust hierarchy did not make them want to abolish it. Instead, it made them decide they should be at its top; The horrible takeaway was that a hierarchy SHOULD exist, and that the problem is simply which roles are prioritized. And maybe leaders are valuable, but if they can be overthrown at any moment by someone stronger, maybe that use should be subservient.

Hence the workaround of high command being comprised of those like Ridley or Kraid; They're naturally powerful and strong, they're boss monsters. And of course, they're also tactically brilliant, hence the Space Pirates being able to survive for so long. So some species are naturally qualified over others, but candidates must prove they’re both brains AND brawn to be high command.

The Space Pirates are aware of the problem of having a fighter who can’t lead be in charge; They just brush off this dilemma by insisting their best fighters are also made accordingly smart, and that will place them above Federation leaders who are smart but can’t fight to save their own lives. And any tactical superiority the Federation has vanishes if Earthians realize they can just overthrow their masters; In the end, the hierarchy will favor strength, because all are capable of intelligence, and the strongest only need to be intelligent enough; Their natural power will make up for any deficiencies and legitimize the rest of their authority.

Mother Brain might be an exception to these rules, but mostly if you exclude her technology and control of Zebes, and tbf she's naturally biomechanical; And it's not surprising for a bigoted military institution to have hypocrisy, plus I feel a lot of pirates resent Mother's leadership for multiple reasons. And then there’s Dark Samus, who definitely qualifies despite a smaller stature; Sylux might too, though tbf we don’t know yet if he leads the Space Pirates or is just a mercenary acting as officer, plus he has presumable command over Metroids, and the pirates might be desperate.

And even if you had technology to augment yourself, who cares? I can use technology too, I might need an interface tailored for me, but that’s it; And I can make someone build it. Intelligence, the use of tools; These are shared, and the difference negligible. So the true defining distinction is physical strength, and this is the basis for Space Pirate supremacy; They gleefully call themselves pirates because they know they can compensate for any deficiencies by simply taking what they’re missing, without having to bargain for it like the weaker species. The word ‘Space’ in their name comes from their reach being intergalactic, and it has to be since other worlds’ species are needed to comprise a caste system and be forced into doing the less desirable roles for their masters.

The Space Pirates are supremacists, and indeed a lot of the blame can be assigned to the Galactic Federation for encouraging this understanding that they are naturally stronger and more valuable for it; I can see them as being comparable to poor whites who are reassured by the upper class that their poverty means nothing, because eventually they'll be rich enough to own black slaves. And this is why a lot of poor whites clung to racism after slavery was abolished, because that chance of being bigger than someone else was lost after depending on it.

That's the ideological problem with the Space Pirates, and possibly why Sylux avoided working with them for now; They're not unlike the Federation leadership, two peas in the same pod, they're just fighting over who gets to control the 'natural' caste system, but are also insistent upon it either way. So even for those critical of the 'old Federation army', they would still not appreciate the Space Pirates for similar reasons; But there is an attempt at diplomacy, knowing the history of exploitation for some.

It's still space eugenics, but there's an arguably sympathetic slant to it for some Space Pirates; But not all of them, hence the Zebesians. The Space Pirates can't truly be called liberators, because the ideals with which they uplift themselves inherently excludes others they should have solidarity with, hence the Urtraghue being looked down upon, and the inevitable fate of other, less-celebrated species who also suffer and toil, but are overlooked by the Federation and Pirates alike because their work isn't related to 'glamorous' combat, technology, or leadership. Maybe one could compare this to the folly of real life society’s focus on the military and STEM, I dunno.

In the end, it's a cycle; Is your response to end it? Or let it run so you can get your promised turn in the spotlight and keep it that way, if it even happens?

[actually-ridley]

'Them'?? You mean Space Pirates

The most ridiculous OoT theory you’ll hear lately:

AKA Why tf are there Cows underground in random holes???

Alright. Bear with me.

To understand this, we need to look at Majora’s mask.

So, Majora’s Mask is kind of infamous for one of it’s quests at the ranch involving cows being abducted by aliens that are simply dubbed as Them. If you fail to protect the ranch by way of loosing arrows at the invaders, they abduct the cows (and Romani) and plonk her back a day later with her memories wiped. You can find the poor girl wandering around in the rain, looking terrifically lost, and a little bit distressed as she tries to remember what has happened and cannot. Traumatising stuff when you’re a young lad.

So we have that, and we have this:

And basically we can consider that aliens are *present* in the series, at this point, even if only as a very background thing. There’s no evidence of Them in OoT… that we know of. Arwings not withstanding.

Except… Most of the cows in OoT seem to be buried in holes.

Why? Well, because in Zelda, Cows appear to attract fucking aliens.

So if you have a cow, and you know that cows typically attract really weird happenings and possibly just vanish due to abductions, I mean– First, expensive losses. Second, what the fuck. Third, in a world setting like OoT you really can’t do without cows.

So what do you do? 

Hide them.

No, seriously. They fucking hide them. All over the damn country, in fact.

The vast majority of cows in OoT are hidden in holes. The rest are usually hidden in even weirder places.

Impa keeps her cow INSIDE her house, in a cage. There’s plenty of good grazing room in the center of Kakariko. This is a weird choice.

Then again the Sheikah in the Era were torturers

There’s one in Jabu Jabu’s belly. Causing indigestion, no doubt, but since Ruto is in charge of feeding him and he tends to inhale just about anything led onto that platform, suffice to say, this was on purpose.

The Gerudo do have a cow but it’s right down the bottom of the canyon and not at all in plain sight, with rocky cliffs preventing abduction. It is purposefully put here, even though this is a ridiculous spot for it. It has a guard standing by and a crate for milk collection and even a soft soil patch for bean plants that it presumably eats.

This qualifies as a hidden cow also.

But what about Lon Lon, you say? The ranch obviously has cows?

Yes it does, however:

Not only are the cows indoors again, despite the best possible opportunity in the game to have cows just kind of grazing, but the Ranch seems to keep a few spare HIDDEN cows in the only solid stone building they have: their storage room. They have cows in the obvious place, in the barn, and then they have some hidden aside for… no valid reason at all.

Unless alien abductions were a frequent enough affair to warrant this precaution.

Because the Ranch is responsible for most of the milk in game, and makes large deliveries to the castle too. An alien induced milk shortage would be bad. And perhaps having a few cows available in the one place the aliens know they’ll be is easier on everyone, also, because then they probably don’t come down looking.

Also, what happened to Malon’s mother? Maybe somebody was trying to protect their cows and got beamed up, huh?

Hide your fucking cows.

[azazelleviathan]

i have a few pieces of art finished but i cant share them yet.. zeebus zorbus...

anyone wanna ask me stuff im bored

the soup man and his odd dog -> 𓁣 𓃩