#ZEEP I FOUND IT

[normal-internet-user]

Could I get added to your taglist for DC if you have one?

Also what does the Superfam and Batfam do for doctor/dentist appointments? Does the Superfam constantly x ray you to check for issues?

What would they do if you have a toothache? Or would they notice before you?

(Sorry if this is a lot. I’m currently stuck in bed for a few days.)

Okay Hi yes yea, hello hi DC ask literally so excited forgive me- I literally adore you for this (i can totally tag you in my dc stuff just tell me what you would and would liked to be tagged in<3

Ehem.

Now, I personally don't think the Superfam would use x-ray vision to check you over unless they thought you were seriously hurt, you feel me?

I feel like they're all well aware that it's a huge invasion of privacy, and the most they would probably do along those lines is check in to make sure your heartbeat is as normal as ever ykyk.

How they would treat appointments is also I guess just dependant on YOU and how you feel.

If your scared of the dentist for any reason, they'd treat it sensitively, but it necessary. The doctors as well, wether it's a fear of needles or the offices themselves. You're treated with care, but they can't just NOT let you go.

THE BATFAM HOWEVER.

Call me OOC or whatevs idk but they're all detectives and invasive af. Private information? Don't know her. Them mfs know what time you drank a glass of water at school.

If they think you're sick they WILL find out with what, the flu, cold, or even just a gd migrain.

Doctors office immediatly. No if's and's or but's. Scared of needles? That's okay, just squeeze your eyes closed and hold my hand but we gotta be here boo.

They know when you got a toothache. Body language said it all.

(All jokes aside, it's just because they care and they're all severly emotionally unwell and don't know how to ahow it without knowing all things.)

[normal-internet-user]

Okay. Number one YOU READ THE DC X DP STUFF TOO??? I LITERALLY LOVE THE CROSSOVER SM I CAN'T EVEN-

Ahem.

Now.

I can just imagine Dick being like, "Ohmigosh, Dami, you made friends? That's so cute���🥺"

"Be quiet, Grayson."

And Damian's like squished underneath both you and Jon while the three of you watch some trashy comedy.

(U know what? I ain't even jokin' Fizzy was such a huge catalyst for this little idea. We have the same brain istg)

I can just IMAGINE all the magical shenanigans little magician reader pulls the supersons into.

"GUYS! I need your help hunting down a raging hellbeast that feasts on the souls of the innocent and wears their skin as a disguise!"

"Okay, can we get ice cream afterward?"

It just becomes so NORMAL LOL

I HAD AN IDEA TOO!

What if, and here me out okay? I have, the absolute vaguest knowledge of who John Constantine is okay? Not really, I love his character. The whole, "I don't even gaf anymore" magic user attitude-

Here me out okay? MENTOR!

I'm a sucker for big gruff mean cigarette smoking adults having to take care of a happy go lucky "we can do it with friendship!" child.

I just think it'd be cute okay? 🥺

@ziipzeepzop-eez

OKAY SO-

I had an idea for a silly goofy au where Damian, Jon, and reader are like the scooby gang and go around solving mysteries.

Reader is like a magic user, and they're job is to keep the evil entities away from everyday people, (Like Supernatural! But kid friendly🩷)

Damian has been stalking them as Robin and that's how the supersons get involved in the mystery gang.

It's just wholesome crime solving amongst the baby heros, and they have fun adventures (that sometimes end in sleepovers).

It think it would be funny too if paranormal assistance was needed and Dickie walks in on the three of them performing a seance in the theater room-

"What the hell is happening right now?"

"Magic."

"..."

"Why."

"Because, Richard. It is important for our investigation."

"Okay." *Turns to leave*

"No, no, no. You have to stay until I close the ritual so the spirit doesn't attatch to you. :D"

"WHAT-"

But he can't complain, because at least little wing is making friends...?

Bonus if Bruce has no idea where Damian is going almost every night. Like he just dissapears for a few hours then just returns wuth Jon and no explaination.

Clark and Lois know obvi because Jon is just so excited to tell his parents all about the latest mystery.

I know this isn't alot but I have more but I think imma go take another nap rq-

Imma sleepy-

NORMIEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Nono because--

I'm-

How'd you know that my absolute weakness is the Supersons with a same age reader completing the baby hero trinity??

I'M NOT JOKING IT'S SERIOUSLY ONE OF MY FORGOTTEN SOFT SPOTS FOR THESE GOOBERS!!!! I remember a long time ago when I read this headcanon post about the Supersons with a reader who was the child of Wonder Woman and they were basically the Big Three next gen!! 🥹🥹 I have no clue where it's at now :sobs: BUT IT WAS REALLY GOOD AND FUELED MY LOVE FOR DC CIRCA 2015-2017!!!!

Now. As for YOU, my dear boba bubble.........

*deeeep breath in-*

FRICK YEEEEAAAAAAHHHH

THEM!!! THE KIDS EVER!!!!!!!! BEING A LIL SCOOBY DOO GANG!!!

I ain't gonna tell no tall man's tale, as SOON as I got this gist for this - the Scooby Doo theme song was playing in my head and now I can't stop imagining it with them getting into funny dramatic thematic situations:

It's just-

🎶 WHAT'S NEW SCOOBY DOO? COMIN' AFTER YOU ✨🏃🏽‍♀️💨 WE'RE GONNA SOLVEEE THAT MYSTERY!!🎶 and it's all a rush of cutscenes of the Big Little Three getting into all kinds of fun supernatural filled shenanigans — crazy and wild and sometimes very scary, but they've all got each other's backs.

Point being: yes yes, 100% yes.

Magic user?!??!!?!?!!! THAT MEANS.... MAGIQUE~~~ (◠‿・)—☆

let's say bro (you) can fly - maybe not as often nor as naturally as Jonny boy, but hell you can levitate for more than a few minutes at a time, it's something!

you both take turns carrying Damian - the only non-flyer of the group lmaoooo

you're all the "middle man" between you all at one point or another. sometimes dami leads with his head and instincts; you and jon reel him in. sometimes jon leads with his heart and just finally fudging snaps because even the sweethearts go apeshit sometimes - you and dami do damage control and console the poor boy in the emotional aftermath. sometimes, you either lose yourself to the supernatural aspect of it all: it's either a overflowing, overwhelming rush of magic that zaps you dry and you're withered to a delicate, fragile thing in your own destructive aftermath or you go full on Avatar (tla) State and become something just shy of not human and need to be tethered back to the ground by your boys.

whatever the case may be, you all work around and through it all. you adapt to each other's needs. you're all there for each other, no matter what.

The bit with Dick and the seance. In the Manor, no less. I applaud you - it's too canon not to be.

You, hands glowing and a little too cheerful - like this is normal (it is. to you, at least) but still wary: "WAIT DON'T LEAVE YOU'RE NOW A LIABILITY TO THE DEMONS!!"

Dick:

Yoooooo, imagine pulling up to the function while Dami's at school LMFAOOOOOOO

HE'S IN A LAB OR ART CLASS JUST VIBING AND HAPPENS TO LOOK OUT THE WINDOW TO SEE YOU: LEVITATING AND WAVING FRANTICALLY TO HIM AND JON RIGHT BESIDE YOU, LOOKING EXTREMELY SHEEPISH AND WAVES INNOCENTLY:

Damian: Oh, Grandfather's head on a stick.

Classmate: Woah! What happened? *sees Damian looking right past them to the window, also looking like he's about to have an aneurysm*

Classmate: Bro, what-? *goes to turn*

Damian: *grabs them by the shoulders and turns them around* AH YA- YOU- YOUUuuuknow, what? It's nothing at all. Nothing of the sort. It was . . . a bird. Yes. A bird. It flew away. But I must leave now.

Classmate: *stunned* I-uh- okay-?

Damian: *gathering his things while retaining intense eye contact* Yes.

Classmate: ......... Bro you good? Seriously-

Damian, interrupts: It would seem I have a . . . Previous engagement. I'll tend to the bird on my way.

Classmate: Oh-

Damian, already out the door because you just deactivated your levitation spell and just, went right parallel downwards without a word and Jon panicked and flew down after you to try and catch you and the both of y'all disappear from his view and most likely ate absolute shit in the school's compost bin outside the window: Your understanding is appreciated.

Classmate: .......................

Classmate: It's first period??

LMFAOOOOO AND AS FOR CLASSMATE, bro's weirded out but probably unaffected nonetheless because Dami has a rep for being a little weird and disappearing out of the blue from time to time but is a relatively pleasant classmate nonetheless!

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

Damian, Jon, and you being the next Big Little Three.......

But there's magic and ghosts involved!!! 👻✨

Idea: maybe you end up being Zatanna's apprentice/family member and inherited your magic through that! Orrrrr, you're just a freelance magic user, a bit of a vagabond of sorts, a total enigma and have it under your belt, no mentor, just doin' your own thing. (Miles Morales ref. 🙌)

Either way, you're a well-meaning kid with a good heart and have an absolute time hassling all these spirits like cattle back to the netherworld that nobody else can see.

Kinda like Danny Phantom!! (I loveeee dc x dp) or somethin' to that effect haha.

Wouldn't it be even funnier if reader has like, no known records? At all? They just showed up one day and came to clean out the supernatural aspects of the city ('ole goth here's messed up enough without all the vengeful ghosts in it! just doin' a little favor, no? *blows a kiss*') and gets roped into the adventure- and friendship/found family circle- of a lifetime.

Stakeouts that turn into sleepovers at the Manor. Very rarely down at the farm in Metropolis, but sometimes!! Big open cornfields, it's a hotpot for Prime Supernatural Activity. You make insufferable jokes (even tho they're like, true) and Damian scolds you for scaring Jon. Tt.

But you save his favorite cow Betsy from getting attacked by some random ghost demon and Jon nearly crushes your ribs in a hug.

As for Damiiiii, bro- I came up w/ something--

You pop up at some Wayne gala inexplicably at first.

Damian spots you for the first time (y'know, before y'all all become friends hueheuhueuhue *chokes, coughs*), completely out in the open, and spews his drink.

He'd immediately stomp over to you, aghast, because what in all the names of the Lazarus Pit are you doing here?! He'd been stalking you for weeks from afar! He was a master of stealth!! How did you even manage--

I- what? No, he does not like your outfit! It's rather spiffy, you say? HE DOESN'T CARE! THAT'S THE LAST THING HE'S THINKING ABOUT RIGHT NOW?? How did you even GET IN??

He's steaming and flustered while also trying to not make a scene because the place is crawling with socialites and high society aristocrats whereas you're cool, calm, charming, blending in too well as you down your own drink. [It's icy apple juice.] and just, bamboozles him further.

'Excellent year,' you suddenly say rather seriously, peering down into your glass of icy apple juice with an impressed expression, effectively cutting off Damian, who was in the middle of a hushed, barely watered down tirade.

Y'all stare at each other for all of two nanoseconds and the events happen as follows:

you turn a bottle of iced apple cider to Damian (where did you even manage to nab one?), pointedly at the label to further explain your comment,

he slaps it out of your hand in a rush of overwhelming emotion and thereby catches the attention of everyone within y'all's general vicinity,

BOOM - you're both circled out and being stared down from all sides.

Damian wants to crawl in a hole and die, maybe.

You raise your hand and twiddle your fingers in a sweet wave and- you- that's when he sees it-

Sparkles. Real, genuine, sparkles. Come right out from your fingertips.

Damian is at a loss while you suddenly garner an audience!! An applauding audience!!! What the hell is going on-?

You disappear in a puff of smoke! Oh my!!

And in a grandiose puff of sparkles and thematic smoke (it's like regular smoke but cooler), you reappear with a flourish on the stage on the other side of the room! Thereby catching everyone's attention.

"Good eveninggggg, my fellow Gothamites! Wowza, I see some sexy faces here tonight! *twirls magician's hat and releases an entire army of butterflies* Enchanted to see you all! I'm (Name) and I'm your prime rib for the night! (cue pulling a whole ass pig, cute and with a bowtie, out from the inside of your coat) Or so to speak!"

Gasps and claps arise from the audience!

Damian is terse, a little terrified, and a little impressed. And he watches the entire time as you pull off a literal magic show! An interactive one, too!

Afterwards, you stand in front of an enchanted crowd and bow with a proper flourish; when you peek out over the rim of your hat, you make direct eye contact with Damian, a mischievous smile playing at your lips.

A proper introduction for you, your Highness? - echoes in his mind. Magic.

That's when he knows. He knows, he's in for a wild ride.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'VE STARTED AND NOW I CANT GET ENOUGHHHHHH OMGGGGGGGG

(Also! Dick would totally be gushing over y'all all the time. His baby wing made friends! And such Good Ones too!! Awwwww! <33)

(And Damian just snaps at him to be quiet, orrrr frowns from where he's trapped in between you and Jon in a group hug. He secretly, not-so-secretly loves it.)

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Can't go wrong with some classic "Gnarpy has a crush on the reader but is too proud to admit it and even less likely to do so when there's anyone else who might see"

"You're worried about them, aren't you?"

"Zeep?! What on earth could give you THAT idea, you ztupid concrete man?"

"Well..you haven't stopped pacing around since they got dragged into the Eternal Limbo." Wallter pointed out, both him and Gnarpy well aware that you're currently fighting for your life against Folly on her floor.

Neither of them were able to intervene...not that the alien cat wanted to but secretly xey wish they could obliterate her with their laser beams.

Ever since you arrived at Two Studs Camp and survived the UFO invasion, you've gotten to known Gnarpy well....and by that, I mean how big their ego is and how xe would tout about being a "galactic overlord" all must bow down to.

But you weren't deterred by their rudeness or sass, instead being genuinely curious about their Gnarpian culture, even trying to understand their lingo.

As much as xey poke fun at you, they like how you're at least attempting to speak their language.

Sometimes you'll stop someone from spritzing them with the spray bottle before they get zapped (most of the time, they'd ignore you and suffer the consequences, but still you tried).

Gnarpy, although xey won't admit it, secretly appreciates it. Only you have common sense compared to those dimwits.

As others come and go, they found themselves wanting to stay with you on the elevator and chat more, even when getting to floors xey'd normally get off on.

But they're too proud to ever admit this, seeing you as nothing more than an underling.

No, they didn't think the rose petals you let xem keep were anything more than a gift to your overlord (that they rightfully deserve).

But Wallter saw right through their act once xey began worrying whether you'd survive Folly's attacks.

As someone who was once in love, he could easily tell.

When you defeat her/get spared, Gnarpy asks if you need any medical attention as soon as you pop back into the elevator, before hissing at Wallter for just standing there in the corner smiling.

"What the zoorp are YOU looking at?!"

But they say nothing as you smile back at the concrete man, knowing you've gotten the prideful alien to care about someone for once.

[two-stud-invasion]

"Hey, Gnarpy! I found zomething that could be a great zubzitute for our zappers if I make some minor tweakz to it! BEHOLD! - ZIM!!"

(Zim takes out a nerf gun from behind zer back, a very proud look on zer face from zer discovery)

~ @thecreaturesoftheelevator

i love this creature sm😭😭 /pos /ooc

. . 🛸 “ What the zeep zorp is thiz. Tell me more about thiz thing. “

[dinosaurcharcuterie]

Okay, so I know this one is probably based on cumin/spice traders, but it reminded me of a fun fact something that was on a final exam when I was in 10th grade.

A lot of people's last names come from the fact that they had an ancestor left as a foundling, and had to be named by the local magistrate.

Sometimes that was the last name of whoever found them, or the current saint's day (more likely to be used for the first name, though), the name of an object the kid was left with, the location they were found, or even just the whim of the magistrate. There's records of people being named "unknown" and variations thereof.

In particularly foundling prone areas, it could even be whatever name was pre-filled out one the list, which was usually a way to line up a nice variety of mundane, socially acceptable last names no one would question. Usually. Occasionally, people used it to get... Creative. Or political.

Like one Louvain magistrate from 1789 who decided to get inspiration for 39 kids' last names from a protest pamphlet:

"Enfin alles gaet om zeep. En de maegere ratten worden vet met gestolen goed, zoodat stelen, herboots rooven, plunderen geene zonde en is. Helaes, onder wat tirannen leeven wij: galges, pruijsman, recruet, canon. Komt ons helpen uijt de slavernije van de booze tyran."

Loosely translated: "In the end, everything is going to pot. And the starving rats are fattened with stolen goods, making it so stealing, brazen robbery and looting is no longer sin. Alas, under what kind of tyrants do we live: gallows, [Prussian?], recruit, cannon. Come deliver us from the evil tyrant's slavery."

In defense of this magistrate: the kids were meant to be renamed if and when they were adopted, and this was a time and late 18th century Europe was not the greatest moment to be born and live to see 5 years old. Those are not names picked by an optimistic man. Still, if the kid lived and wasn't adopted or shoved into a religious institution, you'd end up with a census listing for Johnny Evil Tyrant, born 1789.

Which is to say: a fair amount of people named Cumming are descended from spice traders. But it's also entirely possible that a handful people are named that because someone in Ye Olden Days was thinking of, or doing, what OP is inferring.

two thoughts i had in tandem this morning

a lot of people's last names are loosely based on the job or trade of their ancestors

a last name that a fair amount of people have is Cumming

[mind-if-i-scream]

Zeep-a-roony died,

And I'm so very confused. When I checked on her around noon she seemed fine but when I went to feed and water everyone she was lying at the bottom of her cage dead. I just assumed she passed of old age since she was around 8 years old but she didn't. I have no idea what or how it happened but there was blood everywhere and it was still fresh when I found her. There's no other animals in that room besides my birds and Yuki is the only bird who's out and she leaves the other birds alone. I'm just so confused on how she died, there was blood all over the bottom of the cage and on her face. Heather seems to be fine, just unhappy that I took her friend away. I'm just so very confused and sad, she was in pain as she died and I'm sad Heather is now alone.

[yeonchi]

Kisekae Insights #18: Madoka Magica Part 1 (Takumi Magica)

(Art by dai)

The anime series that have had prominence in my personal project are at least ten years old now and this one is no exception as Puella Magi Madoka Magica celebrates its tenth anniversary in 2021. In fact, this post has been timed to be released ten years after the finale originally premiered (following a delay as a result of the 2011 earthquake).

This instalment highlights a complication associated with adapting series that are ongoing; some elements are implemented with the knowledge that something is the case, but then new material for the series comes out and it turns out that that thing is not the case anymore. Also, I do some male-centric gender equality because men are hated in current year thanks to SJWs and anime is sexist due to its constant focus on females.

How the involvement started

Madoka Magica was introduced to the project in 2012. In the mainstream series, they were introduced in the Series 7 Salacian Time War arc with seemingly no context, but they had a two-parter introduction in a spinoff series featuring the Fourth Doctor. I didn’t write the episodes, but I did use the titles in a couple fanfictions, titled Grief and Souls and The Girl Who Lives Forever, which showed my “interpretation” of the episodes, which was essentially the Doctor being involved in the plot of Madoka Magica. Looking back, it was a bit cringey and I’ll admit, I never watched the series in its entirety more than a few times, so my understanding of the series wasn’t as deep.

Much of the details I provide here may not match my initial visions back in 2012, not that it matters in the context of this series. On top of that, the ongoing state of the series has led to changes in the status quo, as this instalment details.

For the purposes of this project, Mitakihara is located northwest of Cardiff, past the Brecon Beacons along the A470 road.

Takumi Kamijō: The Magical Boy

Events here take place following the end of the TV anime. When the Salacian Time War happened, Parker enlisted Homura, Mami and Kyōko to be part of his army of 72. At the same time, Hiroki was kidnapped by Akari’s cousin, Daniel, and taken to his base in the Serra do Mar mountain range where he was subjected to the Dehydrator. Takumi was born from Hiroki’s sixth incarnation as a result of the ensuing meta-crisis regeneration. This left Hiroki requiring help to regenerate fully, resulting in Takumi’s “twin”, Kumiko, being born some time after.

It should be noted that at this point in time, Takumi appeared similar to Hiroki with black hair and he didn’t have a name yet. Also, due to the nature of Kumiko’s birth, Takumi would refer to Hiroki and Akari as his parents even though he would be considered Hiroki’s “sibling”.

After finding some clothes to wear, Takumi leaves the base and walks through the mountains to Santos, where he joins the battle against the Salacians at its climax. Following the battle’s end, Takumi makes his way to the Doctor and Parker, who entrust him to Kyōko and give him the task of working together with the magical girls to defend Mitakihara. At this point, Takumi moves on to his own spinoff series, aptly named Puella Magi Takumi Magica.

Upon arriving at Kyōko’s hotel room, Takumi sees her feeling sad and gets her to open up to him (somehow). It is then that he learns about Sayaka and her sad story, at which point he decides to “evolve” himself into a “reincarnation” of her by using the 15 hours of residual regeneration energy to turn his hair and eyes blue. Seeing his new appearance and likening it to the sea, he decides to give himself the name Takumi, though Kyōko states that while he may look like Sayaka, he will never be her, a fact which Takumi acknowledges.

Some time after, while exploring Mitakihara on his own at night, he encounters Kyōsuke Kamijō and Hitomi Shizuki, the two people who made Sayaka heartbroken. Following them to an alley, Takumi finds a metal pipe and beats the two of them up as revenge for Sayaka. He also decides to torture Hitomi by beating Kyōsuke up even more. They are only saved from certain death when Homura, Mami and Kyōko see the scene and pull Takumi away. This event leads Hitomi to make a contract with Kyubey and become a magical girl, wishing for the strength to fight back against Takumi.

After witnessing Homura, Mami and Kyōko fighting wraiths in the city, Takumi becomes determined to become a magical girl, or rather, boy, so that he can work together with them to defend Mitakihara like the Doctor asked him to. Though they initially laugh it off, the girls take Takumi to see Kyubey, but he refuses to make a contract with him because he is not a girl. After Takumi breaks the necks of a thousand Kyubey clones, he relents and allows Takumi to make a contract with him out of interest to see what would happen. Takumi wishes to honour Sayaka’s legacy by fighting in her place and as such, he gains powers similar to that of Sayaka’s. Unbeknownst to Kyubey at the time, fulfilling Takumi’s wish would be his undoing.

(These are just my impressions of what Takumi’s magical boy form would look like. Art by モリコ/とーま, purincipium/flaon and gureipu)

This ends the first major arc of the spinoff. Moving into the second major arc, Takumi learns that there are magical girls scattered all over Mitakihara and the world and makes it his mission to unite them as one. As such, Homura, Mami and Kyōko become the first members of Takumi’s team. Learning about how the Soul Gems and Grief Seeds work, Takumi uses this information (and latent Time Lord knowledge, yada yada yada) to invent the Incubation Cleanser, which would automatically purify any Soul Gems put inside it so that magical girls can fight without fear of falling into despair and disappearing/becoming witches. Think of it like in Rick and Morty when Zeep created the Miniverse as a replacement for the Gooble Boxes.

Hitomi, now a magical girl, finds Takumi and fights him as revenge for attacking her and Kyōsuke. After a couple of skirmishes, Hitomi decides to challenge Takumi to a battle – if he wins, she will join his team, but if she wins, she gets to take Takumi’s life. Takumi comes out victorious in the challenge and Hitomi joins his team, with Takumi forcing Kyōsuke to become a magical boy as security to ensure Hitomi’s loyalty. It is also at this point that Takumi takes on the surname Kamijō.

Takumi leads his team to Asunaro City in an attempt to recruit more magical girls for his team, despite being warned that they would be stepping onto the territory of other magical girls in the process. After some conflict, Takumi would gain the cooperation of Kazumi and the Pleiades Saints. He then found a place to establish a base for him and his group, which he names Torchwood Pleiades in honour of the two groups.

This is all that I have written for the series’ setting. Only two seasons of the spinoff were broadcast in 2012-13; the developments that follow are post-spinoff. During the course of the spinoff, Takumi and Kyōko’s relationship develops, but their resolution would be revealed in the mainstream Doctor Who series. Due to various factors, Kazumi Subaru, Kaoru Maki and Umika Misaki would be the only surviving members of the Pleiades Saints by the end of the spinoff.

The Rebellion Incident

Takumi’s character was created in 2012 during the development of the three Madoka Magica films. Learning that Sayaka would be revived in The Rebellion Story raised a conflict between her and Takumi, given that the latter was created as a replacement character for the former. As a result, Takumi did not have any involvement for most of my 2014 stories, mostly because I didn’t know what to do with them. I later figured out a solution and planned to write a special for Takumi Magica titled Afterrebellion, but I never got past the first chapter. What I’m about to tell you know is an impression of what that story would be like.

During the 50th Anniversary Series in 2013, Takumi and Torchwood Pleiades would have significant involvement in the stories. Takumi gained a sonic modulator from one of the enemies of the series and modified it for his own use. In the sixth block, the spirit of Sayaka transforms Takumi into herself for some temporary bullshit I didn’t write. In the ninth block, Takumi reveals that he is aware about the upcoming events when he says that there is a worse day coming for him, much worse than Hiroki’s death or Koshi Castle. Takumi and Kyōko get engaged at some point, but Takumi delayed their marriage in order to deal with the oncoming issue.

Around the events of The Rebellion Story, Kyubey came to regret making Takumi a magical boy because his actions subverted everything he was working for. He exiled Takumi to a pocket dimension, which he later came out of somehow. When Takumi came back, he saw Sayaka and quickly realised that he would lose everything, even Kyōko, if he allowed her to live as she was; after all, his main purpose for the past couple of years was to take her place and he couldn’t be left with nothing after everything he had done. Takumi proceeded to quickly confront Sayaka and absorb her into himself.

What follows is a fight between Takumi and Sayaka; since Takumi wouldn’t allow Sayaka to leave his body, she decides to fight him for control of his body. It was easy for Takumi to conceal the fact that he was having an internal conflict in public; since his face and hair wouldn’t necessarily be that different, he just had to wear a big-ass coat or something that wouldn’t show Sayaka’s breasts popping out every time she managed to gain control of his body.

Despite Takumi’s best efforts however, all is unravelled one night when Kyōko tries to have sex with Takumi. Kyōko discovers what is going on and after Takumi and Sayaka explain themselves, Kyōko gets them to find a way to cooperate. Eventually, the two distinct individuals become in sync with each other, allowing Sayaka to take control of or split from Takumi’s body. Takumi and Sayaka would later experiment having sex with themselves and having a threesome with Kyōko.

By the end of 2014, Takumi and Kyōko got married. This plot point wasn’t mentioned at the time, but in a way, Sayaka and Kyōko got married as well thanks to it. It’s honestly astonishing how much fanart I see of male Kyōko with female Sayaka but not male Sayaka with female Kyōko. I honestly think it would have been easier for Takumi to be in Kyōko’s place, but she’s not the dead girl at the start, Sayaka was.

Anyway, following the events of The Rebellion Story, which was nicknamed “the Rebellion incident” by Takumi, Homura exiled herself from Torchwood Pleiades in order to fulfill her role as the devil of the new world. Thanks to whatever Homura did (I didn’t watch the movie, I only relied on wiki info lel), the Incubation Cleanser was made redundant, but witches, wraiths and magical girls still existed and therefore, so was Torchwood Pleiades. Takumi reformed his team, with the exception of the Pleiades Saints, and somehow recruited Madoka to replace Homura’s place, giving her what was necessary for her to be a productive member of the team.

The Next Evolution

Alongside the Shinkengers, the Magirangers were one of the first teams to join UNIT’s Superhero Project during its beta testing stage in 2014, with two more magical girls joining them in 2018:

MagiRed: Kyōko Sakura

MagiYellow: Mami Tomoe

MagiBlue: Takumi Kamijō

MagiPink: Madoka Kaname

MagiGreen: Hitomi Shizuki

MagiShine: Kyōsuke Kamijō

Wolzard (Fire): Homura Akemi

MagiIce (Mother): Nagisa Momoe

While developing the equipment, Takumi accidentally created an extra MagiPhone because he forgot about Homura’s situation. He attempted to seek one of the remaining Pleiades Saints to give it to, but he was attacked by Homura, who stole the spare MagiPhone and used it to transform into Wolzard.

In one of the Superhero Project preludes, the Magirangers and Shinkengers worked together to defeat Hiroki and Narutaki, who had been turned into Grim Reaper vessels by Evil Death.

The Magirangers’ main feature in Gokaiger would be in the second episode, which follows the storyline of the third episode of the original Gokaiger. After the Gokaigers were separated by Salamandam’s volcanic blast, Takumi would test the Doctor and Marco to see if they were worthy of using the Magirangers’ Megazord Powers. Kyōsuke would give Kai a test as well by having him fight Wolzard, who defeats him in a Megazord battle.

The second part of the episode features Homura attacking the Gokaigers, Magirangers and Dekarangers as Wolzard with her Nightmares and Homulilly minions. Once the Magirangers and Dekarangers defeat Homura’s minions, the Gokaigers morph into the Dekarangers to finish off Wolzard. After the Gokaigers defeat the Centaurus Wolf Megazord, Homura fights them as Homulilly, only to be defeated by the Legendary Patrol Megazord. Following the battle, Takumi is insistent on having Homura rejoin Torchwood Pleiades, but Sayaka says that they “don’t need a demon like her”.

Later on, Homura fights alongside Takumi and her former friends in the crossover special when the Rangers and Riders are turned against each other. She would appear again in the series finale alongside Nagisa when they fight Prince Vekar’s invasion fleet with the other Rangers.

In the third Space Squad movie, Rassilon would accuse Takumi and his brothers of being homophobic due to them “taking” their girls away from their true (lesbian) lovers. Sayaka doesn’t blame Takumi for doing what he did; in fact, she is grateful to him for keeping her legacy alive when she wasn’t and now, she only wants to make sure that everyone can be happy.

Before I can continue with Takumi’s story, I will need to cover another story first, which is the story of the other magical boy, Yuki Yamaki. Once again, I’d like to remind everyone that Takumi’s backstory was retroactively written following his introduction because of the way I liked to write stories back then. See you in the next instalment for the continuation of this saga.

[zeepzapzoop]

Ego Cocktail #9

It’s time for the ninth ego cocktail! A cosmopolitan for Wilford Warfstache! I went back and forth between a cosmo and a martini on this one for a while. Mayhaps I’ll do a martini as a bonus cocktail at some point. It’s been a hot minute since I posted one of these (or any art for that matter) and it’s mostly because I haven’t found things good enough to share. I’m gonna try to share more art though, both YouTuber-related and not. 

Also, I’ve gone through my list of egos and their cocktails and I only have three more Jack egos. I have six more Mark egos...nine if you count the Heist egos...ten if you count Stan “the Water Man” Wheeler. Heck...how do I split these now? Anyways, on to the next cocktail!

Peace and love

Zeep ✌🏿💜

Ego Cocktail #1  

Ego Cocktail #2  

Ego Cocktail #3  

Ego Cocktail #4 

Ego Cocktail #5  

Ego Cocktail #6  

Ego Cocktail #7  

Ego Cocktail #8

Requests to be Tagged: @itsjustkyss​

[queewp]

Mwahha

Ik u probs didn't ask for a lore dump but I'm doing it anyways, artblock is mauling me rn and idk what else to do

I'll go in order for the characters :3

Vupho:

There isn't that much LORE LORE on it, but it's so dear to me. Vupho is one of my comfort ocs and I literally adore it sm- I usual draw it when representing me as well :3

Vupho and it's friends / crew isn't story heavy at all- think of it more as a found family space adventure in a space cargo business (that may or may not be doing some not so legal things to skim by).

Vupho uses it/its pronouns, roughly 3'5, and I call its species Vorxi; vorxi are rather weak strength wise, but are quick and have a paralyzing poison infused with their saliva. Despite this, sincere greetings and gestures are shows with flicks of their tongues.

There's a lot more abt vupho and its relationships with the rest of its crew on my artfight if anyone else is interested (atm they're the first 6 or so in my character list teehee), the link should be on my pinned post if I remember correctly

Astray (aka, THAT FUCKING BIRD THAT I HATE /ref):

Not that heavy on lore either

Astray was originally a nameless being, having only took up the word as a name after mortals mistook it as a name during its introduction. Also... uses it/its HAHA (I'm biased 😔) tho it can use any, as it sees gender and such as mortal things that only mortals care abt.

It doesn't remember what it's purpose is and that's the main thing abt it-- it KNOWS it was made to be doing something, an important job in the scheme of the universe(s) but it doesn't know exactly what. So it travels, trying to figure out what this nagging feeling is.

Zeep and Jamari:

Grouping them together cuz they're part of the same story :3

Zeep is an alien working under the galactic council, and his bosses have shown interest in Earth. Zeep is sent on a research mission to live amongst the humans and determine the usefulness of humanity joining the stars. Zeep takes on a human disguise through tech, which creates an advanced hologram-esc thing-- but more advanced? Idk its space and aliens, don't think abt it too much lol

So Zeep's great and amazing plan is to become some human's roommate-- and that just so happens to be Jamari

Jamari had been scrambling to find a roommate ever since his last one moved out, and took the first offer there was. Jamari clearly knows there's smth up with Zeep (Zeep isn't that great at looking human / there are some flaws in its human disguise LOL). Jamari is fond of baking, Zeep loves sweets, so they bond abt that.

Eventually zeep and jamari do end up together (although at first zeep is trying to convince itself he's doing it for research-- which is partly true). It goes alr at first, but it's clear they're on uneven footing-- jamari and zeep end up having to work through a lot of things before settling on understanding, but they get better :3

ALR IM DONE grahh sorry for rambling

OC art yipeee!

// some traditional art of Zeep and Jamari cuz im trying to make my traditional art more finished :3

[ziipzeepzop-eez]

ZEEPS!! I FOUND YOU AGAIN!! OH BLESSED DAY!!

POMMIIIIIIIIII ���💥💥💥💥

BROOOOOO I ACCIDENTALLY..... yeah I'm sure everyone knows the lore atp bUT POINT BEING I

L O S T

EVERYTHING

AND I FEEL SO BAD BECAUSE THERE ARE SOME USERS I FUDGING FORGOT THE NAMES OF ｡⁠:ﾟ⁠(⁠;⁠´⁠∩⁠`⁠;⁠)ﾟ⁠:⁠｡

OH BUT BLESSED DAY!! YOU FOUND ME AGAIN!!!

[divorcedfiddleford]

♫

this playlist is titled “parentheses songs”

Mambo No. 5 (A Little Bit Of…) - Lou Bega

This Must Be the Place (Naïve Melody) - Talking Heads

Postcard From a Dream (Toast and Jelly) - Poi Dog Pondering

Undone (The Sweater Song) - Weezer

Escape (The Piña Colada Song) - Rupert Holmes

Istanbul (Not Constantinople) - They Might Be Giants

Gimme the Prize (Kurgan’s Theme) - Queen

Living Loving Maid (She’s Just a Woman) - Led Zeppelin

Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.) - Katy Perry

Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It) - Beyoncé

[jana-hallford]

Vintage Kitchen Enamelware

Inexpensive and easy to clean, enamelware kitchen and household items were very commonplace for more than a hundred years. I first noticed enamelware items such as coffee pots in Western films and television programs when I was a child. I also sometimes saw an enamel pan or two in stores that sold camping supplies. When my fascination with vintage kitchen things continued as a young adult, I learned more about enamelware, and discovered charming European pieces I had never seen before. In recent times, Farmhouse and Country French interior decorating trends have kindled popular interest in vintage enamelware. 

Vitreous enamel, often called porcelain enamel, is made by fusing a thin layer of powdered glass to a surface capable of withstanding the high temperature firing process. The receiving metal, glass, or ceramic surface is called a substrate. The powder melts, flows, then cools, creating a hard, smooth coating. 

Enameling has been done for centuries. It was mainly used for decorative objects and jewelry until the 1800s, when manufacturers began producing enamel cookware, sinks, bathtubs and other consumer items. 

Enamelware kitchen items were developed in Europe, then came to North America in the mid 1800s. The earliest pieces were solid color, then speckled and marbled surfaces were introduced. By the late 19th and early 20th Centuries some enamelware had floral designs or decorative patterns and lettering. After World War II a variety of other materials took over much of the kitchenware market share, but enamelware kitchen utensils never completely disappeared. Enamelware cookware and colanders are still made and sold today.

Below are photos of various vintage enamelware pieces, followed by links for more information. 

Because enamelware was relatively cheap and widely available, it was found in many modest homes. Appreciating the beauty and functionality of older pieces also makes me feel a connection to the lives and labor of the people who owned and worked with them.

Vintage blue graniteware colander. (Seller dated it to the 1920s.)

Vintage grey graniteware enamel funnel.

Vintage floral enamelware. 

Vintage or antique French enamelware salt box.

Vintage French enamelware match holder. Matches were a kitchen essential for homes with cast iron wood-fired stoves. Matches were still needed for the first generations of gas stoves that followed (made from enameled steel). For decades gas stoves had pilot lights that had to be lit with each use.

Vintage French enamelware utensil rack with a floral motif. I have seen many of these, often dating from the 1920s to the 1940s.

Vintage French yellow and white enamelware salt box and utensil rack.

Vintage blue and white enamelware utensil rack.

Vintage French enamelware red and white utensil rack.

Vintage white and blue enamelware utensil rack, pans, and pitcher.

Antique or very vintage German enamelware holder for soda, sand, and soap, important household cleaning products in the first part of the 20th Century.

Vintage or antique German enamelware sand, soda, and soap rack. Although having a special place – almost a shrine! – for these three ingredients was something primarily German and Dutch in the early to mid 1900s, at the time these were staple cleaning products throughout Europe and America.

Vintage Dutch enamelware “Zand, Zeep, Soda” rack, circa 1950s.

Vintage enamelware rack of “Measuring Spoons’ that are actually little ladles.

Vintage (1940s) cream and green enamelware bread bin.

Vintage cream and green enamelware sauce pan.

Set of white and black enamel pans.

Mid-Century white and black refrigerator pan.

Vintage red and white square enamelware pan, 1950s.

In the 1950s and 1960s, movies and television programs about cowboys in the Old West were in demand. Monterrey Western Ware, a popular line of enamelware dinnerware made in Mexico, was introduced in the 1960s.

Vintage Monterrey Western Ware enamelware dinner plate with a chuckwagon illustration, surrounded by cattle brand motifs. Western movies made the chuckwagon cook, feeding cowboys on the open range, an iconic image of the Old West.

Vintage brown marble enamel coffee set. Each cup holds two cups of liquid.

Vintage white with blue trim enamel bain marie sauce pan. It was used over a pan of boiling water to prepare sauces or melt chocolate.

Vintage enamelware coffee pot with rooster design, circa 1960s or 1970s.

Set of white and green enamel cookware, circa 1960s or 1970s.

I have a vintage yellow enamelware stock pot like this, bought second hand for a few dollars twenty years ago. Luckily I acquired many of my vintage items before “farmhouse” décor became popular. 

Good histories of enamelware are available on line, including the Collector’s Weekly website. The article linked includes information on dating pieces.

The Old and Interesting website article has details about the evolution and drawbacks of earlier enamelware, and a timeline of its history.

Martha Stewart gives a nice concise history of enamelware in America, along with advice on collecting and caring for enamelware.

[normal-internet-user]

HI Tiara!!

D'awww Zeep, you're so sweet! You're making me do happy wiggles<333

I have had my dragon obssesivness dorment for years- BUT NOW!

PREPARE YOURSELVES FOR MY IDEAS!

Ok, so I was doing some reading on the different dragon types, and I found the perfect ones for Donnie and Raph!!

So Raph could be a Catastrophic Quaken hybrid and Donnie could be an Armorwing hybrid, (I'm still looking for Leo and Mikey).

Quakens are boulder class dragons that are tough enough to break through rock, and powerful enough with their strength to create a shockwave that can knock other dragons out of the sky! (Literally the perfect dragon for our strong boy, consider Quakens are also protectors!)

Armorwings are scorcher class dragons, that steal and weld metal into armor to protect themselves. They don't have scales, so they use the stolen metal as a replacement, (It reminded me of Donnie's battle shell-)

I'm still digging through my old archives and the world wide web trying to find Leo and Mikey dragons- I'M GETTING THERE OK??

Dragons do not build nests. Instead, they sneak their eggs into other unsuspecting species and let them raise their young instead. And this “chicken” that just hatched on your family’s farm sure doesn’t look like any chicken you’ve ever seen.

[earaercircular]

The Green Soap Company produces a sustainable alternative to soap

Marcel Belt (57) is well versed in washing and cleaning products and care products. As a single parent of three daughters, Belt started his own business in 2016 to be able to spend more time with his children. He had by then 25 years of experience at companies such as Unilever and Reckitt Benckiser. With The Green Soap Company[1], he provides a sustainable alternative to soap, detergents and cleaning products. By showing that things can be done differently, Belt wants to make the soap industry green.

Vision

"By introducing sustainable detergents and cleaning products to the market, I want to make the world a bit better and cleaner. Because soap products have a significant impact on the environment. In the Netherlands alone, 8 million empty soap bottles are thrown away every week." These are usually bottles made of virgin plastic, for which new petroleum has been used. In addition, in the Netherlands, 4 to 5 million liters of detergent, hand soap, shampoo are rinsed through sinks and shower drains. ”There is a lot of bad stuff in there such as acids, ammonia and chlorine.”

“Our mission is to make the entire soap industry green. That all detergents, cleaning products and care products are green. It must become a condition to be able to put these types of products on the market. Then it is about how it is produced and from what, what the effect is of its use. This applies to the packaging and the contents. That doesn't happen overnight. We call our products light green. We always try to find the greenest alternative.”

Leadership

“I want to show that things can be done differently. Lead by example. And thus to inspire the Albert Heijns, the Unilevers, the intermediaries and the consumers to really do things differently. For example, an enormous amount of palm oil is used in detergents and palm trees only grow in areas where rainforest also happens to grow. So that has to be different. Now we have developed a palm oil-free detergent that will be launched this autumn.”

“I had set aside some money for my own old age. I used that to brighten up my children's future. My financial resources are limited so I cannot build my own factory. Thus we work a lot with external parties. Suppliers like to work with us because we give them a stage for their innovation or sustainable product. Thanks to us, they can prove that it works in the market, enabling them to go afterwards to larger customers.”

For example, Belt uses recycled plastic for all Green Soap bottles. “That is made from the waste that Suez and AVR collect from households. None of the major players dared to use it. We took the risk of blowing those first 40,000 bottles and seeing how it would behave in the market. This sets us apart from companies such as Unilever and Albert Heijn. Because every innovation has to go through about six counters there. Then it quickly becomes too expensive or too much risk.”

“The Green Soap company now employs 12 people who are all capable of doing things that I can't. Because only then we can become more creative and make an impact faster. And they must have the possibility to make mistakes. Because then we take risks and we are innovating. If we stop making mistakes, something is wrong, we are not innovating fast enough.”

Impact

Since its foundation in 2016, Marcel's Green Soap has been growing rapidly. “In year one I sold soap for 70,000 euros. I never would have thought so. Since then we have been going bust two or three times a year. This year I expect a turnover of 10 million. And we are now also making a profit. I put that in advertising. However, it is not the ambition to be the champion by selling the most products. We go for thoughtleadership and not for market leadership. We want to have an impact with our idea.”

“We call our business model open source: we spend a lot of time in discussions with Unilever and Albert Heijn. We like to share information with competitors because our mission is to convince everyone. I want to reach 100 percent of the cleaning products in market sustainability. Not by achieving a market share of 100 percent itself. It should be because everyone follows us and starts doing what we do. For example, Unilever now has the Love Beauty Planet brand for which they use 100 percent recycled plastic. I showed that four years ago, I hope they copied a bit from me.”

“We don't pretend to put the most sustainable product on the market all at once. That's not possible either. But as soon as we see opportunities to do it more sustainably, we immediately take it up. That also suits today's consumers. Only 5 to 8 percent of consumers are dark green. They relate all choices to sustainability. The majority of consumers are light green. They use their bicycles as much as possible, but when it rains hard they still use the car. We want to gradually take that consumer to a dark green product. And if you make sustainability attractive, interesting and appealing, you will automatically get the consumer involved. Then 'going green' is no longer a sacrifice. But something that also makes you better.”

Source

Sabine Sluijters, Changemakers van week 25: zeep en persoonlijke verzorging, in: Change Inc, 20 June 2021, https://www.change.inc/changemakers/marcel-belt#podcast

[1] https://www.greensoapcompany.com/ Green Soap Company produces and sells sustainable cleaning and personal care products. It was founded in 2015 by Marcel Belt. The products are being sold in 3.500 stores across Western Europe. We have tons of enthusiastic consumers (fans even!) and influencers love our brands.

[thesunglassesgamer]

There For You, Chapter 2

This was my original idea for the fic, this chapter in specific. I wanted to make a fic that used Kelly, since she’s my favorite character in the show and I was afraid that she’d be underutilized. Then the Christmas episode happened. That’ll get added in to the story line farther down in the chapter list. Thank you all for reading. Chapters will be updated every other week, with the off weeks being The Talk chapter updates. Thank you all, and have a merry Christmas!

Marco blew the steam off of his coffee before taking a tender sip. The scalding liquid burned his tongue and he scowled at it. Damn interdimensional coffee is always too hot, he thought bitterly. Kelly gave him a I-told-you-so look and held up her iced coffee. Marco’s scowl grew indignant.

“It’s coffee, Kelly. It wasn’t made to be served cold. That’s like having a peanut butter and fish sandwich. The coffee’s supposed to be hot, just, you know, not this hot.”

Kelly’s mouth curved up into a smirk. “Sure, sure. You just keep burning yourself while I get to actually enjoy my drink.”

“Heathen.”

Kelly giggled. After she had relented on the offer to get coffee, she and Marco had made a quick stop by Mewni to pick up Glossaryck (who had just been about to eat a tub of paste, thinking it was glue). After that, they stopped by the best known coffee within the universe: The coffee dimension. Marco had ended up using his last ten dollars to pay for the coffee, despite Kelly arguing that she should pay for it. Marco had argued back that he needed to get rid of the remains of his six hundred and fifty dollars or be cursed with bad luck till his next check came in.

“Do you really think you’ll be cursed if you don’t spend the rest of your cash here?”

“Yeah,” he replied adamantly. “There’s only been one month where I didn’t use all of the money in one day, and you know what happened that month? Star left, her kingdom got destroyed, and she nearly died. No thank you.”

Kelly’s eyebrows quirked up. “You think your lack of blowing all your money in one place is why everything went to hell?”

Marco stared down at his coffee for a long while. “I… no. It wasn’t my fault that Toffee came back and did what he did, but still,” he gripped his coffee cup just a little harder, “I don’t want to lose Star again. Not like that. I- It makes me feel safer, that’s all.”

Kelly’s amused look had transformed into a surprised and then a pensive expression. She looked down at her own coffee and bit her lip in thought. “I can see where you’re coming from. I used to do that with… I used to do that a lot too.”

Marco looked up to find Kelly’s face scrunched up and tense. He knew who she was talking about. Kelly hadn’t reacted to her most recent breakup with Tad like her previous breakups. Instead of crying and drowning her loneliness and depression in goblin dogs, she now seemed quietly distressed and bitter. He knew that she wanted to talk about it with someone, or at least needed to talk to someone about it, but he wasn’t sure if right now was the time. Besides, he had asked her to accompany him for coffee to talk about more pressing matters.

“Soooooo,” Marco said cautiously, unsure of how to approach the subject. “Your, uh- your rent.” Kelly’s body tensed up and she shifted around in her chair uncomfortably. Marco silently cursed himself for his lack of tact. He’d been as subtle as a freight train crashing into a oil rig.

“I’m not sure when I can pay you back. It might take a long time, but-“

Marco blinked his eyes and then shook his head vigorously. “No, no, I’m not asking about the money, the money doesn’t matter.” He stared right at her, imploring her to look back. She did. “I’m asking if you’re going to be able to keep up with this month’s rent.”

Kelly pursed her lips and took another sip of her coffee. She exhaled and pushed some of her hair out of her face before replying, “I don’t know. Depends on if I can keep the second job or not.”

Marco cocked his head to the side. He knew about her first job, working at a local fast food joint: “The Milkyway Sliders”, but he hadn’t know that she was working a second one. Hell, from what he remembered, Kelly had already been working full time at the burger joint.  “What’s the job?”

Kelly let out a heavy sigh. “Garbage man. It’s during the night, so it won’t interfere with my time at slider joint.”

Marco shook his head. “Geez, Kelly, that’s like, what? Sixty hours a week?”

“Seventy,” she corrected sourly. Then she shrugged as though it weren’t a big deal. “It’s a living.”

“No, it’s not,” Marco countered. “It’s survival. Are you sure there aren’t any alternatives like…” he fumbled through his thoughts for a few seconds before snapping his fingers and declaring, “Your parents!” Then he blinked and quietly added, “Uh, do you have parents?”

Kelly snorted. “Yeah, I have parents, Marco,” she replied sarcastically.

“Yeah, well, I-“ Marco’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment and he grew defensive. “Well, I’ve just never seen them or heard about them.”

Kelly nodded soberly. “That’s because I haven’t talked to them for over a year.”

Marco’s embarrassment was replaced with shock. A whole year? He couldn’t imagine himself not talking to his parents at least once a week, if not closer to once a day. Even while he was living with Star on Mewni, he had made sure to keep in touch with his family and friends on Earth. “A whole year? You haven’t talked to them for a whole year?” Kelly nodded tightly. “Why?”

Kelly brushed her hair back behind her ears, a mostly symbolic and insecure gesture with her mop of untamable locks. When she spoke, her voice sounded resolute, calm, but her eyes didn’t meet Marcos. “They didn’t approve of Tad. That was it for me. There were other issues I had with them, but it mostly came down to him. I’d been dating him secretly for about a year before they found out. There was a lot of fighting and words said that shouldn’t have been. In the end, it came down to either me or Tad. So I moved in with him. That was the last time I saw them.”

Silence followed her words. No one else, save for a barista on her phone in the back room and Glossaryck, who had stopped his chewing of the table leg to look up, was in the café. A dying neon light just outside the building zipped and zeeped in the background. The smell of old coffee and small pastries became ever more present in the dimly lit room as Marco thought patiently. Then he stated quietly, “I guess this is the part where I ask you why you haven’t done the obvious.”

Kelly’s eyes darted up to meet Marco’s, then back down again. Her face grew tight with frustration and she gripped her coffee harder. “No.”

“Why not?”

“I just- I just can’t, Marco.”

“You need to-“

“I don’t need anyone!” She half shouted at him. Her grip on her coffee cup had tightened into a fist, and the crushed coffee cup splashed onto the table, Kelly, and Marco. Marco blinked coffee out of his eyes and stared imploringly at Kelly. Kelly looked down at her cup, winced, and then got up to get paper towels. She returned a moment later, her face cleaned up, and gave Marco some of the towels. They cleaned themselves and the table in silence, neither one looking at the other. Kelly sat back down and whispered, “Sorry.”

Marco stared at her, waiting for her to talk. He waited almost half a minute before Kelly, more distressed and indignant than he’d ever seen her, said, “I grew addicted to Tad. Maybe that was partially because of the goblin dogs or the parties or our moments together, but I just- every time I was away from him, I kept getting sick and depressed and feeling so,” she gulped and her voice trembled, “so useless.”

A tear fell down Kelly’s face. Marco had trouble breathing. He knew exactly what it felt like to fell useless, meaningless, worthless. It was part of the reason he’d wanted to go back to Mewni and on adventures with Star, because they were the only times he’d felt like he had a purpose, like his actions mattered. He remembered spending sixteen years with Heckapoo for the same reason. When he had first met Star, he’d rejected her at first until they had fought off Ludo for the first time. Of course, it hadn’t been the fighting that had changed his mind, it was her talk with him right before the fight that had gotten him to take her in and become her friend…

Right?

“Tad and I argued. We fought. We broke up. We got back together. And then it all started again. For two years.” Kelly shuddered. “It got to the point where, after one of our most recent break ups, I couldn’t remember what made me happy besides Tad. I couldn’t remember what I liked to do, what my hobbies had been, who I had been. All I knew was that I was Tad’s girlfriend.” She spit the last sentence out with venom. “So I broke up with him. For good. And I swore that I wouldn’t rely on anyone else until I found out who I was first.” Her eyes met with Marco’s, furiously demanding that he challenge her. Marco’s own cool gaze returned hers and he said calmly,

“Just because you don’t need a hero doesn’t mean you don’t need a friend. Someone I trust dearly told me that.”

Kelly’s fire rose up and she almost lashed out again, but at Marco’s calm exterior it faltered and died away. “I can’t go back to them. Too much has been said. What if they…” she trailed off and shook her head.

Marco gave her a smile, gentle, warm smile. “Kelly,” he admonished lightly, “they’re your family. Do you love them?” Kelly gave a stiff, curt nod. “Then I’m sure they still love you. And I bet they’re dying for the day that you go back to them and mend the bruises of the past. You just need to make the first move.” Kelly seemed hesitant, so Marco added, “I can go with you if you want.”

Kelly’s eyes opened up wide. She was about to tell him no, but then she stopped. “I- yeah. Maybe.” Then she smiled. It was a small yet warm smile, one that Marco hadn’t seen since they’re trip to the beach. He liked that smile a lot. Before Marco could react, Kelly wrapped her arms around him and gave him a quick hug. “Thank you, Marco. You’re a great friend.” Marco blinked, but before he could properly react, she was already back in her chair, still smiling warmly at him.

“Uh, yeah, anytime.”

Kelly’s smile widened. “You’d think with all the times Star has hugged you, you’d be more used to it by now.”

Marco shrugged awkwardly. “A surprise hug is still a surprise hug, I guess.”

Kelly nodded assent. Then she looked Marco dead in the eyes. “Alright, Marco. Your turn.”

Marco gave her a dumb look. “What?”

Kelly’s left eyebrow slowly rose up, apparently trying to escape from her head. “How’s Star?”

“Oh, uh,” Marco hadn’t been prepared for the ball to enter his half of the court. “She’s fine, you know.” Kelly kept staring at him. “Well, you know, she’s been busy lately with all of her princess duties and-“ Kelly kept staring. Marco sighed. “She’s on the edge of going crazy with stress. Eclipsa, meteora’s reveal, the damage from Toffee, the monster racism, all of it is just too much. I’m pretty sure that the next thing to go wrong is going to be the hay that break the camel’s back.”

Kelly pursed her lips. “So you haven’t told her?”

Marco scowled. “She’s dating Tom right now and is relying on me to be her right hand man in all of this. Dropping that bomb on her would be a lot more than a single straw, you know? Besides, it won’t do either of us any good, it’ll just divide us more. It’s better if I just keep it to myself and either wait for her to be ready or let it die off.”

Kelly narrowed her eyes. “Die off?”

Marco shrugged genially. “Yeah, you know. Crushes come and go. Just look at Star. She had a crush on me only a few months ago and now she’s with Tom. Maybe the same will happen with me.”

Kelly’s face broke out in a wide grin. “Marco,” she said, barely keeping back the giggles, “You know that just because someone is dating someone doesn’t mean that they’re in love with that person. How often has Star run away from her problems and distracted herself with other ones?”

Marco’s face grew still. He didn’t respond. It would have been redundant, as everyone in the room except for the barista knew the answer to the question.

“Me and some of the other girls talked with Star the night she left Earth, and let me tell first hand that she was tearing herself apart over you and Jackie. She kept saying over and over again how she didn’t have a crush on you, and how we were all insane for thinking it, and so on and so on. A crush like that doesn’t just ‘die off’.”

Marco’s eyebrows knit themselves together. He hadn’t known that. Sure, he’d known that Star had been acting weird around him and Jackie after they started dating, but he hadn’t realized that she’d been in that much distress over him. Maybe that’s why she wasn’t super happy to see me when I went back to Mewni, he wondered. Maybe she was scared of me, of the pain she’d felt. His stomach turned at the idea that he’d done anything to hurt Star so badly.

“That’s all the more reason not to tell her. I don’t want her in that kind of pain anymore. I just want her to be happy.”

Kelly’s smile slowly faded away. “Lying, even lies of omission, leads to crying. How long until you start acting weird around her and get jealous of Tom? At the very least, just talk to her. I don’t think you two have done that in a while.”

Marco frowned. She had a point. And while he might not be able to tell Star about his crush, he could at least start talking to her more about what had happened over the last few months. “I’ll… talk to her. At least about some things. I can’t promise that it will come up, but I’ll talk to her.” He smiled. “Thanks.”

Kelly returned the smile. “Anytime.” Then her eyes got a little wide and she added, “Did you know that they just came out with strawberry goblin dogs?”

And they talked on and on about a number of different things, mostly trivial news and juicy gossip. They talked about the new goblin dogs, of Pony heads possible dates, the rumors of a new bounce lounge being made somewhere, and of Slime monster and spider bite princess’ dating. After about an hour of chatting, Marco checked his phone and jumped in his seat.

“Crap, it’s late,” He said quickly getting up and untying Glossaryck from the table. “It’s way past Glossaryck’s bedtime, and Star’s probably home by now.”

Kelly nodded and rose as well. “I should probably be getting to bed myself.” She brushed her hair out of her face again and gave him that warm smile again. “Thanks again for everything.”

Marco smiled back. “That’s what friends do, they’re there for you.”

Kelly’s smile grew warmer still. “Yeah,” she whispered beneath her breath, so quiet that Marco couldn’t hear. “That’s what friends do.”

Marco opened the interdimensional portal back to his room, stepped through with Glossaryck, and found himself face to face with Star Butterfly. The portal closed behind him, leaving his room in silence. Star’s eyes were wide, tired, and angry. Marco gulped.

“Uh, hey. How’s it going?”

[gusticeleague]

With the third season of Rick and Morty on the horizon, and since I don’t think anyone’s done this before, I decided to give my ranking of all the Rick and Morty episodes (from the first two seasons).

My metrics for judgement are as follows: I’m attempting to judge the show purely on its own merits, which each episode being held to the question “is this the show at it’s best?”, which to my mind is a character-driven high concept sci-fi show that actively critiques but never outright condemns the humanist philosophies behind its chosen genre.

I’ve tried to avoid using other shows as a comparison unless it’s to illustrate a point, but in some cases it’s pretty unavoidable when this show unapologetically rips off its plots from movies wholesale. Episodes get more points for good story structure that adds to a good moral, strong critique or parody of an established science fiction trope that is otherwise well explored and strong character development that builds across episodes and firmly establishes a continuity. And when in doubt, it mostly comes down to “which would I rather rewatch if I only had those two competing episodes to choose from?”.

All clear? Alright, without further ado…

The Definitive Objective Extra-Schwifty Ranking of every Rick and Morty Episode

1. Rixty Minutes (S1E8)

Well, what else was it going to be?

What begins as an epilogue to Rick Potion #9 ends up becoming the central thesis for the entire show up to that point, that while the character’s existence isn’t significant on the cosmic scale and Summer’s birth basically creating the entire family was an accident of fate, sometimes seeing things from that perspective makes you realise how miraculous it is that you are here now, and instead of wrestling with your own insignificance and the possibility of “what could have been”, you accept and embrace the life that you have now, for all its faults.  That those revelations are paired with the interdimensional TV both builds the tension for how the conflict happening outside of is progressing and relieves it by providing a reprieve from the revelations that happen from it. This episode is the show at its best, and probably one of the best episodes of television period.

2. Meeseeks and Destroy (S1E5)

One of the smartest writing decisions in the show is that it doesn’t do the old domestic magic/sci-fi show trope of having the main character’s adventures kept a secret from the rest of the family or having a convenient reset button at the end of each episode. Instead, it aims to explore the emotional consequences of interacting with Rick’s world, and Meeseeks and Destroy marks a turning point in the show where all of these adventures start to actually matter to the show’s continuity and to the character’s growth. This is actually my personal favourite episode, but I think it’s just shy of being the best for two reasons: the A-plot relies on a reversal of the normal story structure, with Morty leading the adventure instead of Rick so it’s not the most “typical” of the show overall, and the two plots don’t come together as fluidly as they do in Rixty. Still, it’s a very close call.

3. Auto-Erotic Assimilation (S2E3)

Beyond a few references at Beth’s mother and a few (potentially false) memories, we never really get to see how Rick operates in a romantic relationship. So it’s interesting to see Rick at his most vulnerable and with someone he actually has actually has some love for in Unity, the one-who-is-a-million that got away. An emotionally raw story about two people who are good together but aren’t good for each other, paralleled with a B-plot of Summer and Morty learning that given total freedom, humans (well, blue alien people) will undoubtedly give in to their worst impulses. Also, man, that ending is one of the most gut-wrenchingly depressing endings to a show I’ve ever seen, and it lands perfectly. Maybe a little too perfectly.

4. Morty-Night Run (S2E2)

Probably the show’s best straight-forward adventure episode, which helps set up the Galactic Federation conflict that will eventually pay off at the end of Season 2 and is probably the best demonstration of Morty attempting to apply idealistic Earth morality to a more morally complicated universe to which Rick is perfectly adapted. A plethora of memorable characters like Krombopulous Michael and Jemaine Clement’s crooning sentient gas cloud, some excellent psychedelic animation and art direction, and a consistently funny B-plot of Jerry’s time in a daycare full of alternate versions of himself and confronting just how pathetic he is make this episode a real winner.

5. The Ricks Must Be Crazy (S2E6)

This is the best of what I like to call the “nesting doll” episodes of the show, where the adventure is a continuous descent or ascent through several layers of the sci-fi trope of the week. The first two thirds of the episode are a great slow boil before the “oh, shit” moment of the Mini-Verse scientist killing himself, and the final race out of the teeny/mini/microverses, intercut with Summer in Rick’s car is one of the most expertly paced sequences in the entire show. It’s also the only episode that gives Rick a compelling nemesis in the form of Zeep Zanthorp - a being he unintentionally created who is smart enough to challenge him, which annoys Rick to no end. I really hope they bring him back, since Rick is pretty short on compelling enemies (besides the Council of Ricks). Fingers crossed for some car trouble in Season 3.

6. Close Encounters of the Rick Kind (S1E10)

The idea of Rick being the only person(s) able to challenge him could have served to make Rick a little too smug and perfect for his own good, but the Council of Ricks serve as the perfect synthesis and literalisation of Rick’s self-loathing and his detest for sprawling authoritarian institutional bodies. Every alternate timeline/universe/dimension (do they ever settle on one definition? They’re all used fairly interchangeably) strike a perfect balance between absurdist weirdness and incredibly internal consistency, and every rewatch makes you pick up on new details you didn’t notice before. And look, I’m not made of stone, Jerry and Doofus Rick’s friendship is actually quite sweet, and I hope they get reunited someday.

7. Look Who’s Purging Now (S2E9)

The main character throughline of Season 2 is seeing how Rick and Morty start to rub off on each other over the course of their adventures. This comes to a head in this episode as we see how willing Morty is to emulate Rick in his amorality when he goes “full Purge” and how Rick is taken aback by what his grandson could become following in his footsteps while also confronting the limits of his joy/apathy of the bloodshed that ensues from his adventures. It also has the sharpest piece of social satire the show has ever done, where after the newly freed aliens try to rebuild society after the overthrow of their aristocratic overlords devolve into arguing over the division of labour and wind up reinstating the Purge again anyway from the frustration of having to create a functioning society again. Defeatist? Maybe. Hilarious? Absolutely.

8. Rick Potion #9 (S1E6)

Probably the episode that’s most important to the overall canon of the show. It sets the tone for the adventures to follow, gives a true point of no return for the show as a whole, as well as a great deconstruction of status-quo beholden storytelling and the creepy ethics of love potion plots. Had this just been a ranking of season one episodes, it would probably rank higher, but as you can probably tell by this list, the show has definitely topped this one since. I also want to point out just how incredible the show’s art direction and character creation is when it comes to all the varying designs of the Cronenbergs. I really hope the animators got a raise after this episode.  

9. Total Rickall (S2E4)

The Thing through the lens of a Community clip show turns into a paranoid existential thriller that escalates perfectly, has an excellent twist that probably ended up ruining a load of friendships in real life and revealed a ton about how the Smith family operates and sees each other. It does test the limit for how many wacky characters you’re willing to put up with, and it can’t really escape the insular insubstantial feeling of bottle episodes as a whole, especially if you buy into the theory that this episode and Morty-Night Run take place in another universe and so it doesn’t really matter to the show’s continuity as a whole. But it give us Mr. Poopy Butthole, so I’m willing to forgive it.

10. Big Trouble in Little Sanchez (S2E7)

This is a tough one to rank, because it has the greatest disparity of quality between the A plot and B plot. Beth and Jerry’s “mythologue” oriented marriage counselling is such a perfect science-fiction idea of making a metaphorical conflict real that it probably had enough to be the plot of the whole episode. Unfortunately, it’s paired with a B plot that tries to do the same thing with Tiny Rick. He’s funny as a visual, but the episode has to go to some lengths to inject tension into the proceedings. Why can’t Rick just stay in his young body forever other than some convoluted explanation about how teenagers push all their bad feelings into the back of their minds and therefore Old Rick will be erased (I think?). I felt it could have used an additional conflict where Rick loses some of his scientific brilliance because of his young brain overwriting his old one, or maybe a better acknowledgement that Summer was the one that pushed Rick into a self-described hackneyed high school plot that even he found too simple a pitch. Still, it cracks the top ten on the strength of the Beth and Jerry plot alone, which I plan to go into more depth about later, so stay tuned.

11. Anatomy Park (S1E3)

There are three inevitabilities in this world: death, taxes and sci-fi shows doing a Fantastic Voyage plot. Rick and Morty’s take is to fuse it with Jurassic Park and also have it be the show’s Christmas episode, which gives us a story which is never dull and has a lot of great jokes (“Oh, never mind, I was thinking of the T. rex”) but doesn’t come together in any interesting way other than the blood raining at the end, which also raises the question of whether the show was planning at this point to keep Rick and Morty’s adventures a secret from the rest of the Smiths. Also, I’m of the mind that Christmas episodes tend to work better when they’re placed later in the show’s run, as all the familial conflicts can play out better when you’ve had more time to get to know the characters and how they became the way they are It’s good, Maybe could have been better had it aired later in the show’s run and the writers had a better idea of what the show’s status quo was.

12. Raising Gazorpazorp (S1E7)

Having an adolescent raise a baby warmonger alien is some great application of science fiction to the mundane, and Morty’s relationship to Morty Jr. yields some touching moments. Tthe gender politics of planet Gazorpazorp feel a bit rote and stereotypical and an excuse to make a lot of obvious “battle of the sexes” jokes, and raises a lot of gripes I have regarding how mainstream science fiction comedy approaches and incorporates women and the feminine into its worlds, even if it does a little bit of softball criticism by drawing attention to Rick’s casual misogyny. Good, but could have been better.  

13. The Wedding Squanchers (S2E10)

A great finale that pays off the long-brewing confrontation between Rick and the Galactic Federation, and sets up a lot of interesting developments for Season 3. But as a result of that, it kind of feels a little incomplete in a way that the first season finale didn’t because they knew they were getting renewed.

14. A Rickle In Time (S2E1)

I loved the multiple timeline split-screen bits and Rick explaining at length about how he doesn’t care about Morty and Summer, which sets up what I believe to be Rick’s arc through Season 2 revealing his softer side. But the Beth and Jerry B-plot is basically just trying to give them something to do, doesn’t really contribute any tension to the situation back home and doesn’t tell us anything new about their relationship.

15. Pilot (S1E1)

As pilots go, Rick and Morty’s one is pretty good. It tells you everything you need to know about the scope of the show, its characters and the type of humour you can expect from it. The “Rick and Morty hundred years!” rant is one of the show’s best moments. But it was clearly still finding its voice, and there’s a bit of weirdness in that you think the show is going to pivot the way having the rest of the Smith family not know about Rick and Morty’s adventures, which they thankfully did away with.

16. Ricksy Business (S1E11)

Despite introducing us to Birdperson and Abradolph Lincler, this episode feels kind of unremarkable in retrospect, and ultimately just feels like they threw in all of the ideas they couldn’t fit into the earlier episodes into this one in case they didn’t get renewed.

17. M. Night Shaym-aliens (S1E4)

The second best of the  “nesting doll” episodes. The simulations inside simulations are a great Inception riff, even better than their actual Inception parody (more on that in a second). We really get a good look at Jerry’s insecurity and what drives him as a character, and the first real demonstration of Rick’s cunning and preparedness that also helps lay out the cosmic scope of his reputation. However, I don’t find the Zigerian scammers that funny, despite David Cross’ best efforts as the voice of their leader, and they’re a little too similar to the nudist scammer aliens from the first Futurama movie for my liking - the fact that they’re squeamish about nudity had to be a dig at that, surely?. But the overall set-up is solid and seeing Jerry casually strut through a low-res simulation of his life is pretty hysterical.

18. Lawnmower Dog (S1E2)

The worst (or really, the least good) of the “nesting doll” episodes. The direction the Scary Terry plot goes in is unexpected, clever and genuinely touching, but I don’t find the “dogs take over the world” plot that remarkable in any way, especially in comparison to the rest of the show.

19. Get Schwifty (S2E5)

This episode got a lot of shit when it aired, and it’s easy to see why, seeing that it had to follow a hat-trick of three great episodes. It’s a fairly solid Independence Day/Day The Earth Stood Still parody, but it’s definitely the show’s most lazily conceived plot, not to mention that I’m fairly sure that entire sections of the script appear in the previous episodes. That said, the giant space heads are a great visual (and gave us some great meme fodder), and it sets up the endgame of The Wedding Squanchers by reintroducing us to Birdperson and Tammy, if very inelegantly.

20. Interdimensional Cable II: Tempting Fate (S2E8)

On my first watch of this, I didn’t find this episode that funny, and the only TV bit that really made me laugh out loud was “Man vs Car”. The context for the Interdimensional Cable here, instead of being a distraction from the potential collapse of Beth and Jerry’s marriage is them waiting in a hospital for Jerry to recover from a fatal alien illness, which could be a potentially interesting idea if he hadn’t been immediately cured at the episode’s beginning, which immediately sucks all the tension out of the episode. Where the tension in Rixty Minutes (the episode this is self-plagiarising) lies in whether the Smith family will ultimately be broken up for good, this one ends up hinging on...the fate of Jerry’s penis. It keeps trying to ring some tension out of Jerry wanting to feel significant for having saved the galaxy’s answer to the Dalai Lama, and while I like the ultimate lesson that you can’t make people love you, the journey to get there doesn’t really work as well as it could have. They even make a meta-dig at themselves that they can’t improve on perfection, and at that point you kind of give this episode the ranking it deserves.

21. Something Ricked This Way Comes (S1E9)

At its best, Rick and Morty subverts and deconstructs well-worn science fiction tropes and the plots and lessons that tend to play out when played straight, and works best when it incorporates those proceedings with examinations of the American family dynamic and how we fight the daily battle of finding some kind humanist purpose and meaning in our lives in a universe for which that pursuit is bound to end in failure. While this episode has the best Summer plot and arguably the show’s best joke in the form of the Butter Passing Robot, Ricked is probably the most lazily conceived version of itself possible, picks a lot of very easy targets and ends up feeling very bored with itself as a result. While it aims to be an examination of how science fiction stories have replaced or perhaps better refine the old superstitions and morality lessons that horror stories play off, while actively critiquing how similar the two genres are in execution, the actual plot is basically Rick becoming a mouthpiece for how much the writers hate superstitious thinking and going “haha you brought Stephen King to a Kurt Vonnegut/Stanislaw Lem fight, get riggedy-riggedy-rekt son”. The B-plot of Jerry insisting that Pluto is a planet pokes fun at climate change denialism, and while a great demonstration of how facts and evidence have become summarily rejected in political discourse in favour of dogma and superstition, it doesn’t escalate into anything bigger like the best episodes of the show do. Hell, they can’t even agree on what the moral is at the end, and instead just resolve to literally beat up some political strawmen in lieu of actually finding a cohesive message. While that might be cathartic to some, for a show that isn’t content to give its audience easy answers, it’s punching well below its weight.