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voiceless-terror · 4 years

Note

Can you do 11 truth or dare confessions for jonmartin please?

Hey there, anon! Here you go. Another one of my prompts that quickly got away from me. This isn’t so much confessions as it is hijinks, and I saw ‘drunk confessions’ right below it and it turned into this. Hope you enjoy!

Jon chooses truth. Martin chooses dare. The team goes out after work and discoveries are made.

“I love everyone in this bar!” Tim shouted to a loud cheer. It was a Wednesday night.

Wednesday.

Sasha had no idea how Tim had managed to get all of them, including one Jonathan Sims, out on the town. Something about a spider and a book and several cups of tea. Sasha hadn’t been listening.

And here they were, at Tim’s favorite Friday night haunt, downing shots and eating greasy food even though they had to report back to the institute at nine in the morning tomorrow. For Jon it was most likely closer to seven.

Jon, however, seemed completely unaware of this.

They were sitting at the bar for easy drink access. Ergo, Jon had gotten his drink refilled several times without any of them noticing. And this wasn’t including the rounds the rest of them had already bought. He must have some stress to work through, Sasha mused. He was currently hanging half-off the bar stool, staring dreamily at the lights on the dance floor as if entranced. It’d be cute if he wasn’t almost cross-eyed.

Martin definitely found it cute. He wasn’t as drunk as his boss, no, but he was well on his way. He’d done nothing but stare at him all night, nodding eagerly at his many info-dumps and pushing several plates of fried food at him that Jon refused to eat. Sasha and Tim both knew he had it bad, but this was too much to watch.

Sasha would have to intervene and put the plan in motion. It was the perfect time- Martin wasn’t nervous or stuttering, and Jon was mellowed out on liquor, swaying gently to the music pounding through the speakers. It was now or never. She slammed her hand down on the counter, startling her companions.

“I propose a little game of truth or dare!” She gave Tim a sly smirk and his look of surprise soon changed to a mischievous smirk.

“Oh ho ho, Sasha. What a great idea.”

“We’re at a bar,” Martin argued, taking a slurp of his drink. “How is that even going to work?”

“Oh I’ll make it work, Martin,” Tim replied rather threateningly. “We’re doing this to help you. Boss, you in?”

Jon’s gaze slid over to them, clearly disinterested in their current conversation. “Hnn?” he questioned intelligently.

“Shots, boss! You in?” Tim gestured and the shots materialized as if by magic. Jon threw one back without so much as a flinch. It was a wonder to behold. Martin looked as if he were drooling. He probably was.

“Tim!” Sasha shouted, back to the matter at hand. “Truth or dare?”

“Let’s start off easy,” he rubbed his hands together in glee. “Truth.”

“Boo,” she jeered, teasing. “Riddle me this: who is your most shameful lay from our esteemed institute?” Martin began sputtering, and Jon looked to be tuning them out.

Tim tilted his head in consideration, suddenly very serious. “Well, it depends on your criteria. Are we talking in terms of looks? Personality? General grossness?”

“Hm, let me rephrase,” Sasha didn’t want to be too mean, though she was excited to get any gossip she could. “Who is the unlikeliest one? Someone we wouldn’t guess at all.”

“Oh,” Tim leered, clearly ready to divulge something juicy. “You want me to go through the ol’ rolodex, find the needle in the sex stack.”

“Disgusting,” Jon slurred, shoving a fry in his mouth. Martin nodded in agreement, though he was hanging on every word.

“Y’know Hannah?”

Sasha searched her memory. “From Artefact Storage?”

Martin shook his head. “No, from the library.”

“You’re both wrong,” Tim raised his eyebrows suggestively. “From research.”

Martin and Sasha froze. Even Jon joined in, swiveling his head to face Tim with a look of shock. “Egg-salad Hannah?”

“The one and only,” Tim answered as the rest of the table broke out into exaggerated gagging and looks of disgust.

“Seriously, Tim? Did she brush her teeth, at least?” Martin took another swig of his drink, still in disbelief.

“Did she offer you half her sandwich when you were done?” Sasha and Martin broke out into giggles. Tim was silent.

“Oh you didn’t-”

“Fuck you, it was actually good-”

“This is why you shouldn’t have sex,” Jon nodded sagely. “It always ends in egg salad.”

“Precisely!” Martin slammed his hand down on the counter in agreement. “Wait, what?”

“Moving on!” Tim made a sweeping gesture with his hand, ending it with a point at Jon. “Boss-man! Truth or dare?”

Jon squinted his eyes. Sasha did not know if this was in concentration or confusion.

“Boss?”

“I don’t want to participate,” He took a demure sip of his whiskey and coke. “Truth.”

“Alright, alright! What is…” Tim tapped his chin thoughtfully, considering his options. “Hmm. What is something we’d be shocked to know about you? Like proper shocked, mate. What’s your weirdest secret?” He leaned in close, a patented Tim Stoker Seduction Move, complete with half-lidded eyes and a smirk. Martin shoved him off the bar in a surprising move of aggression and Sasha barked out a laugh.

“You don’t have to answer that, Jon-” Martin began to assure him.

“Yes he does!” Tim argued, leaning back in his seat and rubbing at the elbow Martin had shoved. “That’s the point of the game.”

“We shouldn’t force him to answer-”

Sasha tried to interrupt. “No one’s forcing-”

“Not yet-”

“Here,” Jon shoved his phone into Tim’s hands; it was loaded to a YouTube video of a grainy performance of some band.

“What is this?” Sasha leaned in to look along with Martin, squinting at the screen. “Is this some concert you went to?”

“You could say that,” Jon replied, oddly coy.

“Is this like steampunk?” Martin questioned, leaning in even further. “They’re all dressed-”

“Wack as hell,” Tim finished, though he was smiling. “I dunno, I kinda like them. Lead singer’s hot.” Jon let out a drunken giggle, and this is when the video zoomed in, losing focus for just a moment before-

“Jon is that you?”

“Don’t be daft, Martin, that’s- holy fuck that's Jonathan Sims.”

“It’s me!” Jon drunkenly whispered, almost sliding off of his seat. Sasha stared at the figure on the screen. It was Jon. Hair down, younger, and covered in makeup, but she’d recognize that voice anywhere. She looked back to her boss, glasses askew and sweater vest wrinkled. What the fuck happened to you?

He was surely going to regret this night come tomorrow.

Tim couldn’t take his eyes off the screen, currently holding it a few centimeters from his face. Martin had an intense look at odds with his loose inebriation. He turned to her, strangely serious.

“Dare.” he said, no room in his voice for argument.

“It’s- it’s not your turn, Martin,” she stuttered. “It would be Jon’s, technically-”

“I. Pick. Dare.”

Well, alright. Now or never. Jon’s revelation had forced her hand.

“I dare you…” Sasha looked over to find both Martin and Jon staring at each other, their gazes oddly charged. Martin looked like a man on a mission, while Jon seemed to be openly challenging him, eyebrows raised. Am I missing something?

“...to kiss the most attractive person in this bar!” The words had not been spoken for more than two seconds before Martin had taken Jon in his arms in a sweeping kiss, like something out of a fairytale. If fairytales involved Archivists and their assistants and took place in dingy bars on Wednesday nights. Jon’s arms immediately wrapped around Martin’s neck, dragging him deeper into the kiss.

“Finally!” Tim whooped. He’d stopped watching the video in order to document the event, phone set to record. Jon’s leg had somehow wound itself around Martin’s waist and Sasha was beginning to feel like an intruder in this very public bar. She turned to Tim.

“Wait, finally?” Sasha asked, confused. She hadn’t planned for it to go this far, or for Jon to even reciprocate. She thought she’d help Martin get a kiss on the cheek or something equally as innocent, not whatever...this was. “What do you know that I don’t?”

“Wow Sash, I thought you were the observant one,” he stopped recording, slipping his phone back into his pocket. God, when are they going to come up for air? “They’ve been playing footsie all night. It was disgustingly cute.”

“I-Jon likes him back?” she stared at the two, who had stopped kissing but were still entangled, Jon whispering something in Martin’s ear that he giggled at. “When the fuck did this happen?”

“This afternoon, I think,” Tim took a sip of his drink and threw an arm around her shoulders. “Well, I don’t know how long Jon’s had feelings. But God, you should’ve seen them today. Jon screaming about this spider and Martin just fucking smashes it with a book, decimated it-”

“But Martin loves spiders!”

“I know! But not as much as he loves Jon, apparently. Took one look at his scared little face and just destroyed the thing. I thought Jon was going to propose right then and there. Completely love-struck.”

Sasha pouted. “You know how much I hate being left out! You should’ve told me, we could’ve changed up the plan-”

Tim shook his head. “And miss out on Jon’s secret past? Perish the thought!”

“Huh,” Sasha tilted her head. “I almost forgot about that. What with all the kissing and such.” Martin and Jon were still lost in their own little world. Hopefully they’d remember it come morning, but if not-well, there’s always Tim’s video. She leaned into his side, yawning.

Tim gave her a sly smile. “Say, how’s about me and you-”

Sasha laughed, shoving his arm away. “Don’t think I’ve forgotten about egg-salad Hannah-”

“That was one fucking time!”

#asks #prompts #tma #my writing #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #tim stoker #sasha james #jonmartin #Anonymous

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patrick-hockstutter · 4 years

Text

Modern!Bowers Gang:

Patrick:

Really into cinematography and photography of the unsettling

Never captions his Instagram posts

Goes live on Instagram a lot, even though people really wished he wouldn’t

Makes art out of dead animals or animal bones he finds

Think Banksy, but with roadkill

He’ll take some (somehow) tasteful photos of them, post them, then leave the scene there for some unexpecting bystander to find

Has a nosering (fight me)

Never uses incognito mode

If someone happens to stumble upon his search history, he’s not paying their therapy bill

He likes reading smut more than he likes watching porn

A ps4 guy

Loves spooky games like Resident Evil, Silent Hill, Until Dawn and Death Stranding

He’s not really into school, but he surprisingly reads a lot when he’s alone in his room

Only about things he likes though

Abnormal psych, criminal psych, and sometimes some zoology (u kno y)

Watches serial killer documentaries like he’s paid to

Listens to grunge, nu metal, and 80s alt

Won’t admit it, but sometimes listens to Joji

He’s not super into emo music, but he’s the only one who will listen to it with Victor (he fckn vibes to Brand New)

Ironically uses a Zune

Has an Android but lowkey wishes he had an iPhone

Doesn’t have a computer, just jailbreaks/hacks the school issued laptop

Has a black line tattooed around some of his fingers, one of his wrists, and the shell of his ear

Has a foot tattoo

Has a fucking Juul

Watches LeafyIsHere on YouTube (tell me I’m wrong)

Spends too much time on Reddit

Wears flannels, skinny jeans, and Vans (a beanie if he’s cold)

Mostly cycles through the same three or four outfits

Wears the same pair of Vans every single day

Victor:

Big into aromatherapy

He uses lavender soaps and has an essential oil diffuser in his room

Uses incognito mode to watch Vampire Diaries

A Nintendo ass b i t c h

He has the gray Switch Lite

He brings his Switch with him everywhere (yes he’s that guy)

But what else are you gonna do when you wanna ignore Patrick?

Watches conspiracy theories about ghosts, cryptids, and aliens

Also big into podcasts (mostly true crime and conspiracy ones)

He listens to them on his headphones while he takes walks or draws

Posts his drawings on Tumblr

Does art streams on Twitch when he gets really bored

Has an eyebrow piercing (but it’s a small stud one, not a ring)

Has little tattoos on his hands

Wears bomber jackets, skinny jeans, joggers, army jackets, converse, and combat boots

The boy has style okay

Had an emo phase but still listens to the music (especially Tiny Moving Parts)

The emo phase was pretty short because Henry made fun of him so much

He just fucking liked MCR and Taking Back Sunday a lot, okay?

And Pierce The Veil and Sleeping With Sirens, but he doesn’t readily admit that

Now mostly listens to new wave, synth pop, and lofi hiphop

His favorite bands are Drab Majesty and Choir Boy (look up their new album btw)

Has a black iPhone and a space gray MacBook Pro

Uses Apple Music

Vapes, but only fruity flavors

Watches BoJack Horseman

Doesn’t really eat fast food but never passes up an M&M McFlurry

Paints his (and Patrick’s) nails black

One time Patrick caught him doing a facemask, so Patrick put one on and started chasing him around screaming as a joke

Cue: hmm… this feels kinda good tho

So now Victor and Patrick have secret mini spa days

Drives a Subaru

Belch:

Makes Spotify playlists like he’s paid to

He’s just really good at putting songs together

He tried to get into music theory, but he wasn’t one for actually making his own songs

Really into metal (obvi) but also likes some classic rock and punk stuff

Has records hung up side by side all around his room where the wall meets the ceiling

Still buys CDs

His Instagram feed is full of vintage cars and custom import cars

Fast and Furious is his favorite movie series

His favorite shows are Sons of Anarchy and The Walking Dead

But he also loves early 2000s comedies

Has a mini projector to watch movies on his room wall

Wears band tees, flannels, jean jackets, Carhartt stuff, d a d h a t s

Really wants a tattoo but always gets nervous

Uses incognito mode to watch porn and buy some of his band tees from Hot Topic

Only one in the gang that uses Facebook (Mama Huggins made him so he could keep in contact with family)

Follows a few meme pages but also some cooking ones so he can send his mom any cool recipes he finds

Victor lowkey makes fun of him for actually using the Facebook page

Invests money in really good headphones and car speakers

Has a black iPhone

It’s always at 20% battery cause it’s always connected to his headphones, Bluetooth speaker, or car stereo

Him and Victor FaceTime when they’re bored

Sometimes they won’t even say much, they just like the over the phone company

Doesn’t smoke, but sometimes hits Vic’s vape

A social vaper if you will

Watches Idubbbz and Filthy Frank on YouTube

His favorite fast food place is Wendy’s

Not really into video games but fucking slays at Guitar Hero

And when Rock Band came out nobody saw him for like two weeks

Has a black Hydroflask with band stickers on it

Henry:

He plays a lot of Xbox

Mostly Halo, COD, Destiny, any first-person shooter really

Baits people on Xbox Live cause he thinks it’s hilarious

He’s also a fucking cyberbully but we all expected that

Has Victor’s old iPhone

Never fucking charges it

He’ll text you back in 3-5 business days (if at all)

And if you try to call him he’ll block your number

Plays iMessage games like cup pong and 8 ball with Belch

The only social media he uses is Snapchat and Tinder to look at girls

In one of his Tinder photos he’s holding a fish (srrynotsrry)

Doesn’t really listen to too much music

He doesn’t dislike music, just usually prefers to do things in silence

His mind is chaotic enough, he doesn’t need background noise

But he will listen to Cigarettes After Sex and TV Girl on a really low volume when he goes to sleep

Uses incognito mode to pick and choose random soft or angsty songs that he likes to put into a bedtime playlist

Otherwise just listens to whatever Belch listens to

Has a tattoo on his wrist

Takes a lot of drives into the countryside/national forests/mountains with Belch

Takes a lot of scenery photos, but never posts them anywhere or shows anyone except Victor

Still smokes cigarettes (he thinks vaping is douchey)

Watches South Park and American Dad

If he’s willing to spend money to go see a movie, he’s going to an IMAX theater

Sometimes he likes 3D, but most of the time it just hurts his eyes after a while

Longboards everywhere

Needs prescription glasses but refuses to wear them

They’re mostly for reading, which he doesn’t do anyway

But he does listen to audiobooks sometimes

Likes Frappuccinos but will kill you before you find out

He orders them through Uber Eats under a fake name so nobody will find out

BONUS: all four!

Victor still has his childhood GameCube that they play Mario Party, Mario Kart, and Melee on

Henry is banned from playing Mario Party after breaking a controller while beating Patrick with it

Patrick only ever picks Waluigi in Mario Kart and everyone is sick of it

When they play Rock Band Patrick is on bass, Henry plays guitar, Belch absolutely slays the drums, and Vicky boy sings his lil heart out

One night a week they order a shit ton of Dominos and make a drinking game out of watching Vine compilations

Victor does everyone’s birth charts

They collectively made a fake Tinder account on Patrick’s phone and catfish guys with it

They all try to one up each other doing vape tricks yikes

They buy bags of chips and candy from Costco and lounge around eating them on weekends

They’re banned from the city metro busses because Belch’s car was in the shop for a week and that week was hell for every bus driver in the city

271 notes · View notes

notebooknebula · 4 years

Video

youtube

Jeremy Knauff - His Inspiring Story of Surviving A Health Crisis

https://www.jayconner.com/jeremy-knauff-his-inspiring-story-of-surviving-a-health-crisis/

If you are interested in hearing and learning the most inspiring story that Jay Conner heard this year, stay tuned and watch this video.

Jay is in the Mastermind group with a gentleman who is phenomenal. His special guest today has experienced a health crisis and survived it.

In today’s episode, they are going to dive deep into the inspiring story of Jeremy Knauff.

Jeremy has become successful not because of brilliance, charm, or a superpower, but rather because he’s always learning and refuses to give up. He is a speaker, author, and founder of the digital marketing agency Spartan Media.

He is an entrepreneur, digital marketer, author, proud father, husband, and a US Marine Corps veteran. Today, he runs Spartan Media, a digital marketing agency where they provide web design, SEO, social media, and PPC marketing services.

“A lot of the people I work with come to me because they have a website but they aren’t getting enough new business out of it. Other people come to me because they’re losing business to competitors, or because they don’t think their website presents their company to potential customers very well, or even because they’re starting a company from scratch and they don’t want to screw it up and waste a ton of money. If that describes you or sounds like anyone you know, let’s connect.” – Jeremy Knauff – https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeremyknauff

If you want to learn how to get funding for your deals using private money, get on over www.JayConner.com/trial for 30 days of free access to Private Money Academy.

Real Estate Cashflow Conference:

https://www.jayconner.com/learnreales...

Free Webinar:

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Jay Conner is a proven real estate investment leader. Without using his own money or credit, Jay maximizes creative methods to buy and sell properties with profits averaging $64,000 per deal.

#RealEstate

#PrivateMoney

#FlipYourHouse

What is Real Estate Investing? Live Cashflow Conference

https://youtu.be/QyeBbDOF4wo

Channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZfl...

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RSS Feed

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Google Play

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iTunes:

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---------------------------------------------------------

Jay Conner (00:04):

If you are interested in learning and hearing one of the most inspiring stories that I've heard this year, I want you to stay tuned. I'm in a Mastermind group where the gentleman that is just phenomenal, he has taken his filter off totally. And he has made it through and survive on the other side, just a very serious health crisis. And so if you are going through a health crisis or, you know someone that is going through a health crisis, stay tuned right now, you're about to be inspired.

Jay Conner (00:45):

Well, welcome to another episode of Real Estate Investing with Jay Conner. I'm Jay Conner also known as the Private Money Authority. And on today's show, we're going to take a little bit of a detour. We're not going to dive deep into real estate per se, but we are going to dive deep into a very inspiring story that can change your life and make a difference. But before we get to my guest, I have got a gift for you. And that is if you're interested in getting funding for your real estate deals, without relying on banks, mortgage companies, any kind of institutional lenders, then here's my gift. I launched earlier this year, it's called the Private Money Academy membership. And twice a month, I go live on a private Zoom coaching call, and I interview successful students. We taught deals. Talk about how we're finding real estate deals, how we're getting them funded with private money.

Jay Conner (01:43):

Again, without relying on banks and institutional lenders. We talk about all kinds of real estate, but I want to give you a free gift. Come join us and check us out at www.JayConner.com/Trial, after the show, get right on over to www.JayConner.com/Trial, And again, if you're on a YouTube or iTunes or Google play, we really appreciate it for you to like share subscribe, rate, and review and on YouTube, be sure and tap that little bell. So you'll be notified. So you don't miss out on any of these fantastic shows and guests that I have on here. Well, as I mentioned or alluded to a moment ago, I'm so excited to have a friend, and fellow mastermind brother, come on here to the show to tell his story and make a difference in your life. So let's bring out of the green room or right on here up front. Mr. Jeremy, Jeremy, are you there?

Jeremy (02:48):

I am here. How are you doing today, man?

Jay Conner (02:49):

Scott, I lost connection. So I'm going to sign out real quick and hop right back in. I'll be right back.

Jay Conner (03:00):

There we are. Jeremy, can you hear me?

Jeremy (03:02):

I can hear you.

Jay Conner (03:03):

All right. Well, welcome to the show, Jeremy. I appreciate so much. You've taken the time to come on and join me.

Jeremy (03:10):

Thank you. It's my pleasure.

Jay Conner (03:11):

You bet you. Well, as I mentioned to everybody here in the opening you and I are in a Mastermind together and a few weeks ago, I heard you speak on stage and I just really appreciated your authenticity and et cetera. But before we jump into your story of breaking through and living through the health crisis tell her about your background story and how you gotten to where you are today and tell a little bit about Spartan Media.

Jeremy Knauff (03:44):

Yeah, so I've had kind of a, an interesting ride. You know, I finished high school joined the Marine Corps, bounced all over the world there for a while. And then started my first business, which was a colossal failure. Pretty much lost everything went into massive debt from there. Spent a few years kind of rebuilding started my second company an agency, and ran that successfully for many years until the episode that you had briefly hinted at in the beginning here, when I had a health crisis that almost killed me. And then, you know, racked up hundreds of thousands of dollars of medical expenses and bills and burn through all of our savings. Basically had to start over from zero, well from less than zero, really because we had racked up debt and, you know, then I had the additional challenge of starting over, which in the marketing world, you know, at that point, I was pretty much on my death bed for about two years. So there was no case studies, there was no examples, there was no clients. So I had to start over from less than zero at that point. And now here I am today.

Jay Conner (04:52):

Wow. So I want us to get into your health crisis story and lessons. We can learn from that, but before we do tell everybody about Spartan Media and what your company does.

Jeremy Knauff (05:04):

So Spartan media is a, basically it's a full service digital marketing agency, but what we've been focusing on lately is taking people and turning them into an authority within their industry. Right now the website doesn't really reflect that because the cobbler's kids always gets shoes last, but what we've been doing lately is taking people and turning them into an authority within their industry. So there's a particular example that I like to use. And that's this example was kind of the pivot point for me. At one point in time, me and a good friend of mine, I ran my marketing agency, he ran a printing company, a particular client together. You know, he did all the printing stuff, we did all the marketing design and all of that. Well, at some point in that relationship, he decided to sell his printing business and go work for client.

Jeremy Knauff (05:58):

And he quickly moved up to become the Chief operating officer. But then because of some things that happened with the founder the company was kind of in turmoil. And they got to a point where I think it was 19 franchisees were walking away from the organization. They were trying to organize a class action lawsuit. They had all kinds of online reputation management problems to deal with. It was just, it was a complete toxic mess from top to bottom, but what happened was because of all the things we were doing for them with the search engine optimization, the social media, the PR, all of the various marketing components. He went from basically having no experience, being nobody in the industry. I left out a piece. He, the founder had to step down and he had to step up and become the CEO because at that point, the relationships were just destroyed.

Jeremy Knauff (06:49):

So as a result of all of the things that we were doing for them, he ended up becoming so recognized. And so authoritative within his industry that last year, before all this COVID stuff happened, I was actually in DC with him. He was lobbying Congress on behalf of his industry. So he went from basically being nobody in that industry to now he's up here talking with congressmen and senators about the laws that affect that industry. So we develop that into a front end service where we basically take someone and turn them into an authority within their industry so that they can get more media coverage, get in front of more people charge more money and you know, make more profit.

Jay Conner (07:31):

So what is your like ideal client? Like what type of industries does your service work well for?

Jeremy Knauff (07:38):

Generally, it comes down to somebody in a, like a professional business services, right? So it wouldn't be necessarily good for a restaurant owner. I mean, although it, theoretically it could help them in some ways it's not going to have the same impact that it might for somebody like you, where you want to be recognized as the person to talk to when it comes to this kind of stuff, private money, hard money lending, stuff like that. So generally somebody that's in a professional business service is going to see the most impact from this.

Jay Conner (08:06):

Okay. That makes sense. Well, let's let's dive into your personal experience and your personal story.

Jeremy (08:13):

Yeah.

Jay Conner (08:13):

So I'm going to turn it over to you to tell that story, Jeremy, and I'll interrupt you when I think I need to.

Jeremy Knauff (08:19):

Okay. All right. So this one was a, this was an interesting ride. I touched briefly on the crisis itself, but basically what happened was I was kind of on top of the world, had plenty of clients had plenty of money. Everything was going great. And then out of the blue, I get hit with this, with this health crisis. And, you know, I went to every doctor under the sun. I was going to the emergency room three to five times a week. I was trying to figure this out. Nobody had any answers and it just kept getting worse and worse and worse. So, I was pretty much on my bed for the first two years of this. You know, we did all kinds of things from a pharmaceutical perspective, from a diet perspective, I was seeing all kinds of specialists. I was seeing, you know, things I would have never considered like, you know, energy healers and acupuncturists and all kinds of non-traditional approaches.

Jeremy Knauff (09:13):

And throughout the beginning of this, it was incredibly frustrating because the doctors didn't know what it was. So they just dismissed it. It was, Oh, well, you're having a, you're having a panic attack. You're having an anxiety attack. Well, I knew that wasn't the case, right? Because I had this pain from basically head to toe from the skin down to the bone and it was constant. It was 24 seven. And it was a level of pain that I have never felt in my life. It was a 10 on my chart. And to put that in perspective, I took a tattoo off with a drum sander once. All right. So I have an abnormally high pain tolerance. So I've got this excruciating pain in basically every cell of my body, no doctors have any answers. There's no idea as to when it's going to end.

Jeremy Knauff (09:58):

And there was a point where I'm walking around my house, as you know, as this stuff is going on. And I didn't mention this on stage, but I have a lot of weapons in my house. A lot of firearms I'm Marine, this shouldn't surprise anybody, but I remember walking around and I would see these weapons in various rooms. And I would be feeling this incredible pain. And I knew that there was no answer. There was no idea as to when it was going to end, how it was going to be solved? And I got to a point where I actually understood how people got to a point where they chose to take their life.

Jeremy Knauff (10:39):

And it got to the point where I actually took everything, disassembled, everything tossed in a duffel bags. And I called a friend and I was like, look, I, we don't really have anything to worry about yet, but I'm just letting you know that I may ask you to come pick these up and store them at your house for a little while. Right. So I've got all these thoughts that are just like, absolutely outrageous. Like I've never had these kinds of thoughts before. And then right around that time, one of the toughest guys I've ever met, a guy I served with, his name was Todd Grant ended up taking his life.

Jeremy Knauff (11:18):

And as Terrible as that situation was, I also feel like it was a sign, right? Like I'm going through this, this happens. And I figured at that point, this is going to be, it's a sign. And we're going to find a silver lining in this situation. And where I saw from that was, this is an opportunity to help fellow veterans. I don't know if you're aware of this, but within the veteran community, we're losing 22 roughly per day to suicide. So from that point, I made it my mission to, despite going through this insane health crisis, despite being in massive pain with no idea what the hell is causing it, or when it's going to end, or if it, if we even could fix it. I'm going to get out there. I'm going to get back on top. I'm going to serve as an example to the other veterans, to the other people who are struggling. Even non-veterans everybody, people who are struggling, people who don't know what they're going to do, they don't see a solution to their problem.

Jeremy Knauff (12:22):

And, you know, I began being very vocal about the challenges I was going through. I was very vocal about what's going on, what you know, how to overcome these things. I was just completely transparent in all of this. And at the same time, I started reaching out to people who I knew were struggling, fellow veterans, as well as civilians. And it got to a point where my number was just freely passed around. And pretty much everybody knew that if somebody was struggling, they could give out my number freely to anybody. And as a result of that, I, there are several people that I've talked to. I've probably counseled hundreds of veterans over the several years that this health crisis has gone on. I remember one particular one that was really moving for me. And that was a buddy of mine from high school, reached out to me one night and he's like, Hey, we've got this guy.

Jeremy Knauff (13:20):

You know, he just got back from Iraq. He's going through all these issues. We've sent him everywhere. He's gone to all the counselors. He's gone to all the, you know, the doctors he's done everything and nothing's working. And he's like, do you mind if I give him your phone number? I was like, absolutely, have him call me. So the kid called me we were out of town visiting a friend of my wife's. And so I take the call. I go outside and I'm talking to this kid for, I don't know, probably two, three hours, get him to a point where I think he's in a good spot. Come back in the house now because of my health crisis, I've got my phone set to where at a certain time in the evening, it goes into do not disturb mode. So it's not going to ring things will still show up on the screen, but it's not going to make any noise.

Jeremy Knauff (14:06):

So, I come back in the house just a few minutes after he and I had talked and I got this little thing that dings up on the phone, no noise, just notification on the screen, it's a voicemail. So I pick it up and listen to it. Cause it was, it was him. And I'm like, well, maybe, maybe something went wrong. Maybe he's still got a problem, whatever. I listened to the voicemail and he's just sobbing uncontrollably. And he's like, I just, like, I don't know what to say. I've talked to all these counselors, nobody's had any answers. And like, I talked to you and you just, you get it. And now I'm like, I'm in a place where I see a light at the end of the tunnel and I see what's possible. And like I'm in a, such a different place than I was even before I was in the military.

Jeremy Knauff (14:45):

And he's like, you know, just thank you. And it was just such an emotional message. And that's the kind of thing that I took out of this whole experience is the silver lining here is had I not gone through this? Had I not had this pain, had this health crisis, had all this stuff happened to me, lose everything, start over and get to a point where I understood how people could take their lives. I may not have ended up on this path where I started helping other veterans and helping other people who are struggling. So that was something that I think I took out of that whole experience, just, you know, to be able to give back into the world in that way and, you know, save people who are struggling in that regard.

Jay Conner (15:28):

Wow. That's amazing. So I know you can't summarize a three hour conversation in three minutes, but what I mean? So you've council just, you know, a lot of people that have had suicidal thoughts and, you know, really, I mean, one of my best friends in the world is I mean, he actually speaks at my live events and a few years ago he took his filter off. And I mean, he had actually gotten to the point of, you know, Googling, you know, how to commit suicide. He'd actually figured out how he was gonna do it. And so he's got his story, but for people that are out there and you know, when the times are going on now, average suicide rates are just out the ceiling before, you know, as compared to historically. But what are some strategies or some therapies that you could share that maybe you have as a common thread when you're talking to people?

Jeremy Knauff (16:42):

From what perspective, as far as like somebody, for somebody who's trying to,

Jay Conner (16:47):

Yeah. Obviously you listened to them in every story is different because every person is different. But is there a way you can share, what are some ways that you get into think about to get into a better place as you?

Jeremy Knauff (17:02):

Yeah. So ultimately you have to look at the situation as an opportunity because every situation is an opportunity provided that you can allow yourself to see it that way. You know, and this was what I went through in the beginning of mine. It was like, well, why me? Why this, this is. Why should this, why should I have to deal with this? But the reality is things happen. The why doesn't really matter. It's up to us to figure out what value we can take from a situation. So what value I took from this, you know, I'm going through this particular thing. And then on top of it, a guy that I served with took his life. Well, I had to find some kind of value in that. And that was how I was able to get through this because now, I mean, think about it, what the hell happens if I decide to take my life? All these hundreds or thousands of people who have been looking up and I've got this thing, I call it the cookie jar, and this is something we'll actually touch on here shortly. Cause this is another way that can help get through these. But like, I've got various messages that I got from people over the years of, you know, how my posts have inspired them or motivated them to push through this particular challenge or that challenge or whatever. So that's a good way to do that is, is having that, what we call it cookie jar, but, had I not done this, had I not found that value in it.

Jeremy Knauff (18:22):

I would not have gone down this path. And I know I don't have the exact count in my head, but I know there's a certain number of people who would not be here today. So, let's say that I didn't, let's say that I got to a point where I took my life. What the hell is that going to show to those people? So now that that meeting is there. That's something to carry me through no matter how bad things get. So as long as we have a strong, why we're going to be able to get through anything, that's why you see, you know, the military doing things that ordinary people can't do. It's because they have a mission and it's not just the mission on paper. It's not, Hey, go kill these guys or blow that up or whatever. It's their mission is the guy to their left and their right in combat.

Jeremy Knauff (19:04):

It's their brothers and their sisters. So when we have a strong, why we have a powerful mission behind what we're doing, that allows us to go through something. And that's why people in general don't accomplish their goals because they want to do it. If it's convenient, they don't want to do it no matter what, they just want to do it when it's nice and simple. So that's, that's one aspect is having a really strong why. The second aspect is the cookie jar thing that I talked about, where you basically take things that you've overcome in your life, right? Like we've all had some pretty terrible things happen to us. So if you can go back and look at those significant challenges, those difficult times and use those as motivation. It's like, Hey, I got through this, I got through that, I got through this.

Jeremy Knauff (19:51):

Then you can use that as fuel. Well, that's just another case of this, right? So now you just, you have that, it's like, I've already done this. Let's just do it again. And the cookie jar, you can look at it in a number of ways. You can have it be something in your head. You could have it be something tangible, like the collection of messages that I've got from various people. It could be, you know, maybe you've got a what a buddy of mine in the military used to call his, I love me wall, all the awards and the recognition and the things he had accomplished. When we have this kind of thing that shows us that what we've done has prepared us for what we're going through now. And I mean, you can even purely look at that from a physical perspective, right?

Jeremy Knauff (20:32):

You know, you look at what we do in the military, or you look at what an elite athlete does, and they're not, let's say you're going to go run a three mile race. You're not going to go run three miles. Your training is going to consist of you running, you know, six, nine, maybe twelve miles. You might do a series of sprints. You might do all these different things that are larger than what you're actually trying to accomplish. So when we look back at the things that we've actually done to prepare for what we're doing in the totality, we've already overcome the thing that we're facing. We just haven't put all the pieces together to realize that.

Jay Conner (21:06):

That is wonderful. Now, you mentioned a moment ago that people you get feedback from people really being inspired and helped with your post. Where could people see your posts and, you know, the types of things that you're posting?

Jeremy Knauff (21:23):

I mean, I'm pretty active on especially on Facebook, but I'm active on most of the social media platforms. I'm not a hard guy to find considering what I do. I'm pretty public and pretty out there. So Yeah.

Jay Conner (21:36):

So Scott, let's put Jeremy's name up there. And so folks, the spelling there is, and if in case you're just listening is Jeremy, J E R E M Y. And his last name is K N A U F F as in farmer farmer. And I guess it's okay to give out your email since we've got it up there on the screen.

Jeremy Knauff (21:57):

Already out there now. It's all over the place anyway. So it's all good.

Jay Conner (22:03):

There you go. So Jeremy says it's pretty easy to find him folks if you want to start following him, I've got one curious question I have is you've talked with all these people. You've helped a lot of people that have considered taking their life. Do you think, or have you heard back and I think I know the answer to this question. Have you heard back, or do you think some of those people that you helped are now out there doing the same thing you're doing and that is helping other people with that situation?

Jeremy Knauff (22:35):

You know, that's a good question. I stay in touch with a lot of them. I don't know if anyone's doing that, but I would hope so. Right. Like, I think that that's something we all should be doing, not just this particular topic, but whatever the topic, right? Like I think we all should be putting value back into the world. And if you know that you've already struggled with the thing and overcome it, then you've got that knowledge, you've got that empathy. You can deal with it in a way that others can't. So I hope, I certainly hope they are. It's. I mean, if you've already got the background, we need to be adding value back to the world in that way. So yes, I hope they are.

Jay Conner (23:10):

Well, you know, it all comes down to serving and I mean, clearly Jeremy, you have got a servant's heart and you said it beautifully, you go through this thing, you overcame the thing and now you can help others do the same thing. I mean, in my education business, the Private Money Authority, it's the same thing I was, no, it's not the same thing. You're not the same thing. The concept is the same. I was, I mean, I've been relying on local banks to fund my deals for the first six years of investing. And this story pales in comparison to yours as far as its importance. But I was cut off from the banks. Then every way to fund my deals, I found a great way to get my deals funding with private money. And then what I started doing two years after that is just teaching other people what I know to do. So, you know, or how to fix the problem now, a mentor mindset years ago, I said, you know, Jay, if people didn't have problems, they wouldn't need us.

Jeremy Knauff (24:17):

This is very true.

Jay Conner (24:20):

And guess what? the world is your oyster because everybody's, got problems. So as we wrap up here on the show final comments Jeremy.

Jeremy Knauff (24:32):

Final comments, I just, I guess, look for ways to add value back into the world. You know, too far, far too often people look at, Hey, what can I get out of this situation or this deal, or this person or whatever. When we look at how we can make something, a win for everybody involved, it creates more value as a whole, and we all rise. So I just think more of us need to take that approach.

Jay Conner (24:57):

Excellent. So one more time folks. Jeremy's very, very easy to find all the social media and all the platforms. Again, you spell his name, J E R E M Y. Last name K N A U F F as in farmer and his company, [email protected] If you are any type of professional and you're looking to be known as the authority and expert in your space, then you definitely want to check out Jeremy and his team it's [email protected]. There you have it. Folks, another show, Real Estate Investing with Jay Conner. I'm the Private Money Authority, and I'm wishing you all the best and here's to taking your business to the next level. We'll see you on the next show.

#Jay Conner #Private Money Lender #Real Estate Business #Real Estate #Real Estate Investing #Real Estate Investor #Real Estate Profit #The Money Private Authority

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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Do you own any Funko Pop! figurines? No. I had a brief period where I wanted to start collecting them SO BAD and often went to toy stores to gawk at the figures I felt like I needed to have; but I grew out of that and I don’t even really give Funkos a second glance whenever I see them anymore haha.

How many cats and dogs have you had as pets in your lifetime? We’ve had one cat and two dogs.

Can your mom and/or dad play any instruments, or how about anyone else in your family? My dad can play the guitar; he just absolutely never shows it off, not even if you lay out ten guitars in front of him. I think my mom played the piano as a kid.

Have you ever colored in an adult coloring book as a stress reliever? Yeah, it was my coping mechanism from a few years ago. I don’t do it nearly as often anymore, but I still have my coloring books and pencils stored in my room just in case I randomly want to get back to the hobby.

Can you crack crab legs without a tool? No, I ask my parents or grandparents to do it haha.

How many light sources are in the room you’re in? There are two, but I only use one. I never switch on my main bedroom light as I hate how brightly white it is.

What’s your favorite thing to put on bagels? I never get bagels so I don’t really have a clue what I prefer on them.

Who’s your favorite director? Stanley Kubrick.

Bats: cute or gross? Neither side of the spectrum; I just don’t think about bats.

What was the last really intense pain you felt? I got a particularly vicious scratch from Cooper around a month ago that left a deep cut on my thigh. The scar is still visible and I think it’s going to remain that way for a while haha I don’t see it fading out anytime soon.

Would you rather vacation by a beach or a lake? Both sound extremely pleasant but I’ll take the lake trip because I’ve never seen one, or stayed near one.

How would you feel about traveling abroad alone? I honestly feel like it’s going to be that way for me moving forward. I’m okay with it, though. I feel like it would be very calming and empowering to be able to explore the world on my own.

What is your father's middle name? He doesn’t have a second name.

Where did your last kiss take place? Outside my house, by her car.

Which movie villain do you find the most terrifying? I haven’t encountered anyone yet that truly terrified me.

If you married your favorite celebrity what would your last name be? Kim, hahaha.

Do you stick your tongue out often in pictures? I wouldn’t say so. I pull up the peace sign most often.

Which one of your family members are you closest to? My sister and my eldest cousin on my mom’s side.

Would you rather have name brand shoes or name brand clothes? Shoes. They stand out more.

Are you a good liar? Yes. Doesn’t mean I enjoy lying and take advantage of that skill as much as possible.

Are you proud of your parents? Sure.

If you could get backstage tickets to ANY concert - which would you pick? Paramore. I think Hozier would be neat as fuck too.

Which is better: orange or grape soda? I don’t like soda, so neither.

Was the last thing you ate hot or cold? They are meant to be consumed while hot.

Who was the last person in your house who isn’t family? Angela and Hans.

What color was the last swimsuit you wore? Pink.

Can you remember the last song you listened to? I just tuned into a random lo-fi playlist, so I’m not familiar with the tracks and the artists who made them.

Have you ever been dumped really harshly? Yes.

Can you do a back flip, or anything else of that sort? Nope.

Do you have any exes you can’t stand anymore? To a considerable extent.

What happened to cause you to feel that way about them? She is extremely selfish and the biggest coward I’ve ever met.

Are you more of a phone or a computer person? Laptop.

Do you have a job, and if so, where do you work? Yeah, I work at a PR firm.

If not, do you want one?

Do any medical afflictions run in your family? I know hypertension is kind of a thing on my mom’s side, but I don’t know if there are any other conditions I should know about.

What’s your favorite Mexican dish? Burritos and enchiladas.

Have you ever been to a professional sports game? No, just collegiate-league ones.

Do you prefer pads, tampons or something else? I use pads. I’ve never used a tampon or any other product, so there’s no basis for me to make a comparison and establish preferences.

Have you ever ordered a specially made cake from a cake shop? Yeppp, I got a customized cake for my birthday.

What months were you and your siblings born in? My brother and I were born in April; my sister was born in September.

What did you have for dinner last night? Barbecue chicken.

Have you ever had sex in/on a vehicle? In, yes. Do people have sex ON cars??????

Do you do anything to groom your eyebrows? I will shave extremely occasionally. Otherwise no, I don’t touch them.

Has your town ever flooded? This time of the year, always.

Have you ever played at the McDonald’s play place? Yup. I preferred Burger King’s playplace, though; it was lesser-known so there were fewer kids I was forced to play with.

Have you ever taken a picture of snow? I’ve never even seen it.

Do you cry easily? I can.

Are you happy with where you live? It’s quiet and safe, which is nice; but I think at this point I would be a lot happier and would be able to grow a lot if I moved to a big city.

Do people ever mistake you for being a different race? Not really; but as a general thought, it is an extremly big pet peeve when people only take into account East Asians when the topic of Asia comes up.

Do you hate the last person you kissed? I don’t hate her. But I can’t stand her.

What genre is your favorite movie? Drama, romance, a hint of comedy.

Who was the last person you were in a car with? My mom and my siblings.

Do you like the picture on your license/I.D. card? Yeah haha. I was allowed to smile on my license, so at least my photo doesn’t look gloomy.

When was the last time somebody hit on you? Hasn’t happened in a while.

Was the last person you met a male or female? For the first time? She’s a girl.

What brand is your underwear? I don’t remember the name anymore.

What’s your favorite Thanksgiving food? I don’t celebrate that.

Do you have a TV in your room? Nah. I don’t really watch the TV anymore, and using the living room TV to watch YouTube videos is enough for me.

Are any of your electronics charging right now? My laptop is constantly plugged in. My speaker is also charging at the moment.

What was the last video game you played? I have no clue, it’s been forever.

What’s the biggest promise someone’s ever made to you? Did they keep it? That they’ll always stay. I didn’t make her keep it; I was the one who moved on.

Google, Bing, or Yahoo? Google.

What was the last song you had on repeat? It’s been a while since I set a song on repeat. Maybe Film Out? If not that, maybe UGH!

Who is your favorite person to watch on YouTube? Rhett and Link or the Try Guys.

How many college degrees do you want? I’m okay with the one I have.

Can you wink? Yeah, but I’m substantially better at winking with my right eye than my left.

Do you own any jerseys? I don’t think so.

Have you ever tried to snort Pixie Stix as a child, or even an adult? No. I don’t even think I’ve had it ever.

Do you like going to baby showers? Do you go only for the cake? I’ve never been to a baby shower. Not a thing here.

Has there ever been a time in your life, you felt sexually undecided? I still am. I’m not bothered about it, though. Sex and who I have it with aren’t things I spend much time thinking about.

Do you think tattoos and piercings are sexy on the opposite sex? Depends. It certainly suits some people better.

Do people ever ask you to do things they’re too short to accomplish? No...I am the short person asking for help :)))))))

What color are the headphones you have at this moment in time? I have black ones but I literally just took them off five minutes ago so I can transfer my music to the speaker I mentioned earlier.

Ever choked severely on something during lunch at your school? I don’t think so.

Do you eat more vegetables or fruits? What’s your favorite fruit/veggie? VEGETABLES. I love green beans, eggplants, and bell peppers the most. I can’t stand fruits, with the one exception of avocados.

What would you say is the color of your favorite bra? Black.

Is anyone in your family a firefighter? Who is it anyway? I don’t think so.

What do you usually buy when you go to the dollar store? We don’t have a dollar store, and that should be self-explanatory hah.

Ever peed in the pool? Be honest! God no. That’s gross.

When you’re older, what kind of house do you want to live in? Something modern and minimalist.

Where do you want to get married? Idk, I’m pretty traditional when it comes to this. Booking an events place would be ideal for me; the only thing on my wishlist would probably be the fact that I hope my wedding could be held somewhere cold, like Baguio.

Do you plan on having both your parents at your wedding? Uh yeah, sure.

What is your favorite childhood TV show? Spongebob.

Honestly, do you like school? I liked it when I was granted more freedom to do things my own way, which is to say I really enjoyed college. But I didn’t mind school for the most part, especially since it meant being able to see my friends everyday.

Last thing that made you cry? I was listening to a song that resonated a lot with me at that moment.

Honestly, are you keeping a big secret right now? Nothing too big or life-changing to someone if they ever found out.

Last person you took a walk with? Idk, that’s not an activity I tend to do with other people.

Have you ever liked someone who didn’t like you back? No.

Who was the last person to actually pick you up in the air? My ex, probably.

Does any part of your body hurt? My shoulders are constantly hurting these days. I really need to buy a new work chair :(

If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a regret what would you do? Million bucks. Easiest choice.

Can you keep a secret? Sure.

Your favorite romantic movie? The Proposal.

How do you feel about Valentine’s Day? I honestly like it, and I celebrated it when I was able to.

Who was the last person you took a picture with? My sister and I took a silly selfie earlier.

Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them? Some of the pairs I have do, but they’re meant to be ripped jeans.

Do you celebrate 420? Nope.

Have you ever kicked a vending machine? I don’t think so. I barely use them.

How do you eat Oreos? I just bite into them. No patience do the whole twist-lick thing. Sometimes I’ll dip them in milk, if we happen to have some.

Do you wear your shoes in the house? That is a big no-no.

Would you survive in prison? I might not.

Ever been to Georgia? No for both state and country.

Do you get your hair cut every month? No, just once a year. Which reminds me, I finalllllllly had my hair trimmed yesterday hahaha I got sick of my long-ass hair, which was starting to feel like a bitch to maintain. It’s only up to my shoulders now.

Current relationship in detail. I am single...nothing much to share about it. I get to enjoy to spend my money on myself, which is my favorite part about it hahaha.

If you were kicked out of your house, who would you call/go to? My grandma.

List things you spend money on in an average week. Food delivery and nearly every week, merch. I’ve considerably calmed down on the latter, though.

Rate each of your sexual partners (if any) from 1-10. I’ve only had one...I guess I’d give her a 9. A bit TMI but the oral could’ve been a little better.

Post the last FB group/page that you joined. I was looking for FB groups for a work deliverable, but I had to join one of them to give it a better scan. I don’t remember which group it had been, though.

Would you parents be mad if you were in a relationship? No. If they did, I would be very surprised they would still be meddling with a 23 year old’s life.

Think of the last person you had sex with. Do you think they’ve slept with anyone else since they last slept with you? I’m sure.

Is there someone that you believe you will always be attached to? I’m not now, so no.

What board games are you good at? I’m quite terrible at all of them, tbh. It’s why I’ve always preferred to simply watch over my friends when they do play board or card games.

Is there a sport/hobby you keep thinking about taking up, but that you’ve never quite gotten around to starting? Wakeboarding. Do you think pranks like egging/toilet-papering someone's house are funny or immature? Immature.

Do you think “sleeve tattoos” are a good idea? I’m not totally obsessed with the idea, but they do look good on people.

Is there anything in particular that your parents argue about? What? I don’t know. 100% of the time they are caused by my grown-ass mother throwing a petty-ass tantrum, so I could not care less about the things they fight about.

Do you ever actually read the “Terms and Services” when you sign up for websites and such? Nah.

If you have a handheld games console (a DS or GameBoy, for example), how often do you use it? I haven’t used the Switch since last year.

Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for, what do you say? Pick it up and wait for them to talk.

If your best friend was kicked out, would your parents let him/her live with you? Probably not, knowing my mom – but I would do absolutely anything else to help.

Are you afraid of falling in love? I guess you can say that, yeah. I’m not headed towards that feeling again anytime soon, though.

Is there anybody you wish you could be with right now? I wish I was with my friends now.

Have you ever kissed someone & wished you didn’t? No.

Did you get kissed last night? Nope.

Do you enjoy going through a carwash? Idk, I’ve never taken my car to one. That’s something my parents take charge of.

How did you get most of your scars? Cooper.

Ever had to take an inkblot test? I haven’t.

Have you ever been in trouble for something you honestly didn’t do? Sure. Like back in high school when a group of friends had been caught cheating on our chemistry exam – and we were told that the entire batch would be given a formal warning. I was on the minority side that found the entire situation hilarious, because I know they wouldn’t dare mar the records of everyone else who took that stupid test honestly.

Have you ever seriously slapped someone in anger? My brother, only because he put his hands on me first.

What/who woke you up this morning? Just me.

Who was the last person to be in your bedroom besides you? My mom, who always goes in there without knocking/warning.

What’s one of your locked text messages? I don’t lock my texts and I’m not sure if that’s an available feature on my phone.

Have you ever finished a game of Monopoly? I don’t even know how that game works lol.

Is there anyone you know who’s in any way paralyzed? Yes.

The truth all comes out when someone is drunk, true? I mean for the most part, yeah. It’s easier to be honest with a few drinks in you.

When was the last time you felt disappointed in yourself? Continued from the other day. Last week when I forgot about a virtual meeting and attended it 15 minutes after it started.

How about feeling disappointed in someone else? Last Friday when I had to watch my dad treat a service crew member like shit.

For you, do you commonly feel more jealousy or envy? Envy, I think. I don’t really feel jealous.

Do you rely on the heads/tails flipping of a coin sometimes for decisions? Nope, but close. I’ll do eenie-meenie sometimes haha

Do you have any specific chores you do around the house? Nothing I’m required to do but sometimes I’ll offer to wash the dishes or fold laundry.

For you, does comfort or fashion come first in dressing? It’s like 70% fashion, 30% comfort. Looking nice makes me feel more comfortable lol.

Have you had two friends that absolutely hated each other? Not each other; the dislike was one-sided. Gabie hated Andi for whatever reason, which in hindsight already should’ve been a red flag.

Do you like Laffy Taffy? No, I’ve never had one.

Do you prefer electric or manual pencil sharpeners? Manual, only because I’ve never seen, much less use, an electric one.

Are your biceps at all noticeable? Nah.

Have you ever seen a walrus? It’s possible, but I don’t have very good memories of it if I have seen one.

Did you ever have one of those Easy Bake ovens as a kid? Not a popular toy here.

Does your bathroom have a theme to it? It doesn’t. I think that would be a little tacky tbh.

From inside of your house, how many doors lead outside? Three. We have doors in the kitchen, dining room, and our main door by the living room.

Are there a lot of trees in your yard? Not really.

Have you ever liked someone that treated you like crap? Yes.

Have a best friend? Yup.

Does it bother you when your best friend does stuff without you? No? That’s pretty petty. Both Angela and Andi have big circles of friends and that would be stressful on my end if I made a fuss every time they hung out with anyone that isn’t me lol.

Is there a secret you’ve never told your parents? A bunch. I don’t count them as confidantes.

Does anyone hate you? It’s possible but I don’t care enough to want to know.

What’s the one thing you regret more than anything? Not breaking up with Gabie earlier, even though all the red flags were there.

Do you remember important dates? For the most part, yeah.

What’s some lyrics from a song that means a lot to you? “Dream, may all of creation be with you til the end of your life Dream, wherever you are, will welcome you Dream, may your trials end in full bloom Dream, though your beginnings might be humble, may the end be prosperous.”

Who gives the best advice? Andi. They’re able to tell me advice I don’t want to hear but am supposed to be hearing, which I appreciate.

Who do you usually see in your dreams? :) It’s a random cast every time.

What type of cake did you last eat? It was carrot cake with a really good cream cheese frosting.

How many of your friends are gay or bisexual? Almost all of them are...it’s easier to count friends who are straight.

What’s your favorite type of sandwich? Anything with pulled pork in it tbh.

When was the last time someone asked you out? Did you accept or decline? I’ve never been asked out.

Do you like The Offspring? I know a couple of songs but I definitely can’t call myself a fan.

One pillow or two? Two.

Do you like Mad Libs? I’ve never tried playing it.

Are you suicidal? Not lately. I haven’t been for a while, actually. I’m really happy about that.

Where do your grandparents live? My paternal grandparents live in the south. My maternal grandma lives in the village right next to ours haha, so not far away at all.

Do you cut yourself? Yeesh. Can’t questions like this come with a trigger warning? Anyway, no I haven’t in a while as well.

What is your pet’s name? Kimi and Cooper.

Have you ever been to Canada? No, but I'd love to visit. < Same!

Aren’t babies overrated? I think they are overrated in a sense that everyone always seems to want one of their own, but the circle gets extremely smaller when it comes to those who actually have the capacity to take proper care of an infant.

Have a built-in pool in your backyard? No.

Ever won yourself a stuffed animal? Sure, in like claw games and whatnot.

Ever had someone else win you a stuffed animal? No. I don’t really like stuffed toys lol.

Ever been to a circus? Nope.

Ever shot animals? I have not.

Do you consider yourself intelligent? I guess I’m booksmart more than anything else. I had good grades and can handle myself in arguments and debates...but I have my weaknesses in other aspects too, like street smarts lol.

Have you ever run away from home? I had a period when I wanted to, but never pushed through with it.

Do you put family first, friends, relationships, school, or something else? Work > friends > family.

What’s something you’ve stood up for in the past? I always shoot my mom a glare as if to say “be careful of the line you’re crossing” whenever she makes a homophobic, sexist, or racist remark.

What’s something you worked extremely hard to get? The healthy and stable mental disposition I find myself in these days. I would never give it up for anything ever again.

Are you satisfied with your body image? I mean not fully, but I also don’t have any complaints.

Have you ever been labeled negatively or otherwise been called something extremely derogatory? I’ve been called a bitch by this girl that was just a terror to be classmates with back in middle school. She was known to a big war freak and had her fair share of behavioral/anger issues, so it didn’t really affect me once I knew I was her next target. I didn’t encounter her again until college when we ended up attending the same university, and she’s changed a lot for the better.

Have you ever seriously taken advantage of someone or been taken advantage of? The former, no. Yes to the latter.

Have you ever been seriously ill? My fever last year really felt like the end of me lmao, so I guess yeah.

Have you ever befriended a former enemy? She wasn’t an enemy per se, but I just found myself immensely irritated by Sofie during our first few meetings; but then she ended up being one of my best friends for a time

If you’re not religious, would you ever pray as a last resort? If you are religious, do you often pray for other people? I did in the past. I wouldn’t do so these days.

Have you ever dated someone, then after you dated they came out of the closet or switched (for lack of a better word) sexual orientation? That hasn’t happened to me.

Has a boy/girl ever walked a ridiculous distance just to see you? How about vice versa? I think once? My ex was brewing a surprise for me for Valentine’s Day last year and to cut the long story short, she essentially walked a crazy long distance in my school to make the surprise a success. My university is huge and even I prefer to take my car whenever I have to go from one building to another, so I definitely saw the effort she had put in.

When was the last time you felt really uncomfortable? Right now. It’s really humid and my electric fan isn’t really doing anything to curb the heat :/

Is there anything that your mom is really known for as to how she is as a person? She is very uptight.

Who have you been talking to the most today? My co-workers, albeit virtually.

Are you nosy? Nah. I won’t really press and will wait for people to open up.

What’s the meanest thing you have done to a friend? I don’t do mean things to my friends.

If your ex called you crying, what would it most likely be about? Fuck if I know. Her pride is way up in the sky for her to do something like this.

Who was the best kisser out of all the people you have kissed? I’ve only kissed one person.

Have you ever been told that you have an annoying laugh? I don’t think so. It would be etched in my head if I was ever told this.

#survey #surveys

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angryconnoisseurgentlemen · 4 years

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Free Spotify Slickdeals

Slickdeals Hot Deals

Slickdeals Freebies

Spotify has two tier system which includes a free account and a paid one called Spotify Premium.

With student discounts, free trials and special offers available it’s the smart way to try and buy your favourite tracks. If you want to find out more before you commit then you can get Spotify for free with access to millions of songs, no credit card needed. Whatever type of music genre you’re into you’ll find it on Spotify. Spotify is offering Eligible Chase Users: 6-Month Spotify Premium Trial Subscription for Free valid for New Users only. Thanks TheSam Note, offer is not available if you've previous tried Spotify P. MSE Update, Mon 7 Sep at 10.40am: Spotify says that due to high demand, the Google Nest Mini offer is no longer available. We've left the below for reference. Music streamer Spotify is offering a free Google Nest Mini (formerly Google Home Mini) voice-activated smart speaker to new and existing £10 per month 'Premium' subscribers.You can do this until 11.59pm on Wed 30 Sep, or while stock lasts. Music is the heartbeat of our lives. Have your music your way with Spotify. Bring your music with you on your mobile device, too. Choose your artists, your tracks, and your genres. Create the perfect mood and feel for any situation with Spotify. Never sit through another song you hate again. It’s your life, and your life deserves your music.

It’s no secret that Spotify Premium has more to offer than the free tier and users are going crazy about how to get into the Premium plan for free which is legally possible.

As a Swedish Entertainment brand, Spotify offers online music streaming services with more than 50 million songs for users to listen to or download.

From popular music labels and media companies, Spotify hosts exclusive album titles, songs, and incredible features like a free download, social share, own library, mobile app, unlimited music streaming, easy to use interface, etc. which make your experience more fun.

However, some of these features can only be accessed through paid subscription which costs $9.99 a month.

Here are a few of the many ways you can get Spotify Premium for free,

Similar to all other brands, Spotify does offer free coupons, promo codes, and gift cards to keep users interested and promote their services.

These offers get you Spotify Premium services for free, and you can redeem them in your Spotify account by entering the secret code.

Beware of websites which claim to be the right code generator; chances are, they don’t have the right codes, or they will give you enough viruses to crash your system.

Besides, even if you got the right codes via these dummy sites and software, Spotify will know, and you will probably lose the opportunity.

The random codes they provide users serve as bait for you to enter your details which they use for different spasm or install malware in your system.

Legal is better than regret, and it will cost you nothing when you employ Spotify’s best goodies right from their site.

Hacked free Android App Spotify Premium

Though it doesn’t offer all the features in Spotify Premium, this app gets you unlimited skips.

Some users develop it, and it is gaining popularity now since you can skip to your favorites.

They have adverts even though they claim to have none.

Offline listening is not on their menu which is very disappointing… it’s one feature that users would love to have to save mobile data.

Slickdeals Hot Deals

Social sharing of playlists is not available, and viruses are there, but the app actually works.

Time Shifting

As the easiest way to get, time shifting was discovered by a user who came across a big software related bug in Spotify app programming.

All you have to do is subscribe with Spotify Premium, get afree 7-day trial then go to the settings and alter your phone date a year back.

You will have a year plus days of free trial, but it comes at a price of errors here and there.

A lot of users use this technique and get a free premium account but what happens when your phone automatically corrects your date? You will be charged immediately.

Besides, your other apps need the proper time to operate perfectly which is why the trick is not perfect for everyone.

Apps like YouTube, Hangouts, Chrome or messengers like Whatsapp work when time matches the version in play.

However, it’s your decision whether to use it or not. Otherwise, it works fine.

Other legal ways to get Spotify Premium free or with discount

Limited Period Offer

At times, Spotify surprises users with limited offers which go as low as 0.99 dollars.

At this time, you get Spotify Premium free, especially access to features that you would usually pay a lot more to use.

Spotify Premium Trials

Spotify is one of the very few streaming giants that has been offering a three month free trial to it’s first time users for a long time.

Even during the COVID-19 crisis they did not pause the offers, instead presented many plans, including the Spotify Family Plan, at a one time steeply discounted pricing.

For three months or so, new users get Spotify Premium for free, and if you are lucky, they extend the free trials which are better if you stay updated.

Multiple Accounts

Create multiple Spotify accounts using different credit cards or PayPal accounts.

With PayPal, you select the mode of payment while you subscribe to Spotify Premium then revisit your PayPal account to cancel the automatic payment choice and you will not be charged.

Charges won’t be placed after the free trial ends, and you haven’t canceled your subscription.

However, the trick is rarely working now.

Refer a friend

Get five of your friends to use Spotify and score yourself Spotify Premium free for months.

Their discounts on students, family plans and Spotify Premium with PlayStation will give you access to their amazing features for as little as 2 dollars.

Slickdeals Freebies

This is no tricky business. You can get Spotify Premium for free legally and enjoy streaming music online more than you can imagine.

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unimpressedperson · 5 years

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Once in a lifetime, changes were not doubts | m.yg |

(Found this lovely, cutie utie pic on @mnygni‘s account)

Genre: Fluff, a bit of angst

Warnings: Existential crisis

Pairing: @cypher-yngi x Min Yoongi, reader x Min Yoongi

Word Counting: 1.5k

Synopsis: Once Emerson met with her old high school colleagues, she began questioning her own life choices.

A/N: Heeeeeey EM!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I PURPLE YOU GIRL! IT’S PART OF YOUR BIRTHDAY GIFT! It’s a short one shot, sorry for the small lenght. This piece of writing was inspired by the song ‘Triste, Louca ou Má’ from a brazilian/mexican band called Francisco El Hombre. It’s such an empowering hymn. Hopefully you’ll like it ♥ Forgive any grammatical mistakes. Good reading xX

It’s highly unedited

The link for the playlist attached to the oneshot and your second birthday gift ♥: Emerson’s Greatest Hits

- x - x - x - x -

Emerson felt like Schopenhauer, facing existentialism and digging in her own thoughts, craving realization or new ideas. Although, her brain worked in a fast pace even during the ungodly hours of the morning. After so many sleepless nights, there were no clues on what's a proper slumber under blankets and anchored by pillows, only flying and allowing her body to float around through dreams.

Tired of stiring between the sheets, she took a deep breathe, opening her blueish-greenish eyes, staring at the darkness consuming wholly the bedroom. When you cannot rest peacefully, nights and days seem to last long, long dusks and long dawns. The yellow mornings and purple evenings all feel the same, no longer being capable to differ them.

She couldn't pierce her eyes closed anyway.

Still feeling the queer comfort of being left sitting in the dark, Emerson got on her feet, hazy with tiredness, awake with one thousand thoughts cruising, synapses and explosions, lighting the darkness behind her eye globes. Brain producing more energy than the whole neighbourhood.

It's weird to imagine how much electricity a body can produce, but cannot spread. Humans are nothing but a storage of unused energy. We are atomic and Emerson knew it, she swore that if the room was quiet enough, she could feel atoms setting, blood rushing in her eardrums, result of the heart beating, pulsating the red and white globes through veins.

Standing up felt weird, anything a palm in front of her face couldn’t be seem. The darkness is terrifying once you’re no longer hiding yourself from everything outside. Once you feel obligated to navigate along it, reach the light switch and hope it will be there. Not being able to perceive a fly in front of you is scary, and Emerson knew it.

Instead of turning the lights on, Emerson decided to keep walking through darkness, listening to shadows speaking. Telling her secrets only daylight can keep, nighttime is a loud speaker, a tattletale. Corners whispers, but once you drown it all in black, then nothing else contain their incessant talking, babbling nonsense.

Emerson listened to them, not stopping their ranting.

Darkness, sleepless nights, tiresome afternoons, nothing could quite hurt her anymore.

Nothing but loneliness.

Maybe, all the rating could not bother Emerson, their voices fulfilled the silence, not leaving room for loneliness. A loneliness daylight couldn’t occupy, fill to the brim. Shadows are full of sounds, everything seems livid in darkness.

Why turn the lights on, when the gloominess hugged so tightly those who accept it?

However, in that specific night, Emerson felt lonely, even accompanied by her ghosts, loud thoughts and thuds of her feet hitting the cold ground.

Emerson felt numb by sleeplessness, but awake with jolts of thoughts. Finally reaching the kitchen, after an eternity of walking and exploring the darkness, she got to the door and, only then, turning on the lights, hissing with clarity, asking for apologies from the shadows who were abruptly shut down. She could no longer bear listening to them. She was going insane.

The fridge was opened and Emerson grabbed a box of milk, not worrying about pouring the content in a cup, drinking straight from it. Long sips, nurturing her body and slowly blowing away the fog.

A long day ahead. A long day back.

Sitting on a chair and reaching for her laptop, Emerson began remembering the past day.

A high school reunion. Almost 12 years passed and yet douchebags were douchebags, people still talked shit about each other, but now whilst rambling about their conquerings, children, jobs, travels, fulfilled dreams, and well, Emerson felt like just Emerson.

A gymnasium crowded with people on their 30s, old students, old friends whose destinies run apart. They were now gathering 12 years of news, 12 years of events and occurrences. Dyed hair, wigs and a lot of dieting shakes, adults swimming in debts and bills, yet proudly bragging and showing off their achievements.

Emerson decided to sip on her non-alcoholic fruit punch and observe, questioning all her life choices, mainly the moment where she accidentally accepted hanging out with venomous colleagues. She was sitting on the benches and taking a mental note on never accepting anything without thoroughly reading ever again, specifically if the e-mail has her school emblem and the option to turn down.

Staring at everyone, showing off their kids and apartments, Emerson thought about life.

In ten years she rented her own small place, kept a good long-distance relationship with a korean music producer, a stable job as a psychologist, yet all the bragging made her question: How much did I actually change?

Growing old felt easy, but growing old comfortably always bugged Emerson. Once she left high school, her dream was to evolve, grow out of her shell and be Karen Horney for the teenagers. Unfortunately life ain’t that easy and concluding university costed too much of her sanity, despite all the loneliness and issues, she managed to survive.

Leaving the High School meeting felt reliving. What a waste of precious time, getting around people she hated or barely knew. It drained all the energy from her body and once she arrived at home, let her flesh and bones carve their shape on her bed, hopeful and wishing for some rest. But her brain couldn’t shut off and get in R.E.M sleep, going through everything that happened during all those 12 years.

In a well filled with loneliness and gloominess, Emerson met Min Yoongi through internet.

After finishing high school and entering university, Emerson discovered a profound love for acoustic rap. Her roommate showed a song from Rap Monster and his lyrics about anxiety and fear of failure, some of them masterpieces and within weeks, the girl was dipping down on a spiral of acoustic songs, charged with unhuman levels of sentimentalism and words. Among the talented rappers, a certain small yet rageful guy named Min Yoongi, or Agust D, started playing on Youtube.

Agust D, stage name from a korean rapper who moved to United Kingdom when he was 14, wrote about depression crudely, getting rid of metaphors whenever the subject was himself, but showing off his writing skills and capacity of creating parallels between rap and philosophy. Emerson fell head over heels for him and commented on one of his videos with such passion, expressing how grateful she felt for finding out about his work.

What actually surprised her was his answer: his personal e-mail address, an emoticon winking and other of a phone. He asked for her phone number in a subtle way. Smooth.

Their bonding was instantaneous.

Although he lived in Northern Ireland, too far from Emerson, yet they worked their arses off in order to meet monthly.

Her dating aspect of life was amazing, a long-term relationship with someone compatible and comprehensible.

Why did she feel so incomplete and lonely after all?

Staring blankly at her laptop screen, suddenly her vision got wet and blurry. Tears streaming down her face, ruining the make-up she applied in order to look more mature. Black eye liner? Ruined. Concealer? Stained. Mascara? No longer existing. Everything running down and breaking the coat of foundation.

Emerson wanted to improve herself and wished upon a star everyday.

She had an amazing life, with a good job and a stable relationship. Yet her brain couldn’t see how amazing she was. No one half as strong and tough could go through hard times on her previous job, all the bullying and mental health struggles without letting the existential pain drop them to their knees.

Her insatisfaction seemed pointless, whenever she thought about rationally, but couldn’t control her brain. Could not hold the negative thoughts down.

Everyone on that goddamn high school reunion seemed to have improved, matured and grow out their childish pants. Changing and living their best life, regardless of bills and difficulties.

Yoongi always bragged about how great his girlfriend was and her co-workers constantly compliment her skills, her empathy.

How could she not understand it? How could she still feel so lonely despite everything surrounding her?

Why couldn’t she feel like evolving and changing?

Out of nowhere, the ghosts decided to pronounce themselves even without shadows to support their voices, asking her why she was crying, who did hurt her and saying the sweetest words, slowly helping and making everything seem to be less lonely.

After crying a river, she cleaned the last remaining tears. The clear, small and, before contaminated by rests of makeup, the black eyeliner corrupting the pureness of each drop, now clean and sheer, the most raw demonstration of innocent sadness.

Indignation.

Rage.

Frustrations.

Among so many changes, ups and downs.

Evolution, it’s not solely a synonym for improvement. Changing, this defines the human evolution. It frustrates. It hurts you. Changing is painful. Emerson felt so much pain whilst watching time flying by.

The teardrops, now transparent, candid like newborn soul, brought to this world within seconds.

In that moment, pure, crude, bare, stripped of luxe, all the past risks and struggles drowning in realization, oh in that moment, Emerson realized her growth. Her changing.

The ghost now had only one voice and the source from every word was placed in front of her: the laptop.

“Hey, love, are feeling better now?” - Yoongi asked through a video call, his gummy smile flashing and making Emerson grin.

She was changing, growing, improving and slowly accepting it.

- x - x - x - x -

Hey babe, did you like it? Here’s the translation for the song I mentioned above:

“Sad, mad or mean

Shall be qualified

Those whom she denies

Follow thus method.

The cultural method

Of husband, of family

Take care, taking care of a routine

Only rejects anyway

Well known method

Those whom are painless

Accepts everything shall change.

That a man doesn’t define you

Your house doesn’t define you

Your flesh doesn’t define you

You’re your own home.

That a man doesn’t define you

Your house doesn’t define you

Your flesh doesn’t define you.

She’s gone senseless

Untied knots

Will live in her own

She’s gone senseless

Untied knots

Will live in her own.

Cannot perceive myself on that word

Female: hunting target

Settled victim

I’d rather burn the map

Trace the roads all over again

See colours through ashes

And reinvent life.

And the man doesn’t define me

My house doesn’t define me

My flesh doesn’t define me

I’m my own home.

She’s gone senseless

Untied knots

Will live in her own.”

youtube

#bts fluff #bts angst #bts reactions #bts oneshot #bangtan sonyeondan #min yoongi #suga #rm #kim namjoon #bts #francisco el hombre #bts fanfic #happy birthday emerson #i purple you #bts ships

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componentplanet · 4 years

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YouTube Music Charges You to Play Your Own Music on Your Own Speakers

As streaming services have become more ubiquitous, they’ve begun treating people who actually own content in increasingly hostile ways. In Google’s case, it intends to replace Google Play Music with YouTube Music by the end of the year — and unlike GPM, YouTube Music requires you to pay a monthly fee if you want to stream to your own speakers. Ron Amadeo at Ars reports:

If you bought your music, uploaded it to YouTube Music, and expect to be treated like you own the music, this service is not for you. If you bought a Google Home smart speaker or any other Google Cast device, Google’s public position right now is that you’ll need to pay a monthly fee to cast to your speaker once Google Music shuts down.

If you are willing to pay YouTube Music a monthly $9.99 fee for Music Premium, this problem goes away. If you don’t pay for the service, you can’t use streaming services like Google Cast to send the music you legally purchased to the speakers you also legally purchased.

This is yet another example of how so-called consumer services are rarely designed for the benefit of consumers these days. There is no reason why Google cannot build a version of YouTube Music that will only use Google Cast to stream songs you yourself have uploaded in lieu of paying a $9.99 fee. As Amadeo notes, he’s scarcely a “free” user, having purchased multiple Google Home speakers at $130 each.

At the time he bought his speakers, Google Music was the method of streaming audio to his devices, and Google Music was free. Suddenly charging people $10/ month to use a formerly free service completely changes the attractiveness of Google Home products. At $120/year, the price of the service is now just as high as the price of the speaker. If you had standardized on Google Home specifically for multi-speaker playback, there’s no replacement for casting. While there’s Bluetooth support, it only works in single-speaker mode.

Image by Ars Technica

You can’t download playlists, either, unless you pay the music rental fee, even though the only music you’re trying to download is music you already bought. Again, there’s no option to handle this integration through Google Cloud or Google Drive. Google could charge you for the online storage space your music takes up, and nobody would bat an eyelash. That’s not what they’re doing.

Does Google Even Care About Its Reputation?

Few companies have trashed their own reputations over the past decade as completely has Google has. Its messaging app strategy is a ridiculous mess. It kills popular services like Google Cloud Print, Works With Nest, Google Inbox, and Hangouts Chat. Nobody — not even developers — trusts Stadia to exist in 2-3 years, because nobody trusts Google to actually invest in a project long enough to bring it to fruition, or to support a successful service that’s just smaller than Google wanted it to be. Google’s response to this distrust is to fail to offer any meaningful service guarantees. And that’s before we get to other minor issues, like its willingness to collaborate with the Chinese government to surveil Chinese citizens, at a time when China is publicly using such surveillance to stifle discussion of its human rights abuses.

Google isn’t the only company that’s canceled many products — Microsoft, IBM, Intel, AMD, and other major Silicon Valley companies have all left oceans of paper on the metaphorical cutting-room floor. It’s just the only company with multiple independent websites devoted to cataloging whatever beloved app or piece of software it intends to kill next.

If Microsoft announces a new gaming companion app for Xbox Series X tomorrow, people will joke about the branding (likely abysmal) and the advertising (probably painful). They’ll fight over whether Microsoft can regain a stronger position versus Sony, and whether the app is actually useful.

What nobody will do is accuse Microsoft of launching an app today with no plan to support it longer than a year or two. Nobody would declare that you shouldn’t spend money on Xbox, because Microsoft can’t be trusted to invest in its own ecosystem. I’m not claiming Microsoft gets everything right — the company wasn’t exactly forthcoming about RRoD — but when it comes to long-term support, it does pretty well at both software and hardware.

As Amadeo points out, the Google Home and Google Music transition is different from any product cancelation or change Google has made before, in ways the company may not fully appreciate. With Google Home, money changed hands. People bought hardware expecting the features they were paying for to continue to work. This isn’t a situation where people have no right to complain because they’re using a free service you provide out of the goodness of your heart — Google is literally attempting to charge people to listen and download music they have already legally purchased. Subscribing to YouTube Music Premium, whether you listen to your own music over the service or not, sends the message that treating customers this way is acceptable. While it’s not wrong to charge customers to cover hosting costs, Google isn’t doing that. Buying YouTube Music doesn’t get you any additional cloud storage, and your fee isn’t based on the amount of streaming you do per month.

YouTube earned something like $15B in revenue last year. Google earned far more than that. This isn’t a question of what the company can afford. It’s a cynical and exploitative attempt to pick up subscribers by removing a vital component of a service.

IoT companies continue to treat their customers in baffling, incredibly user-hostile ways. As nice as some smart home technology can be, I wouldn’t invest in the market in its present state unless you’re absolutely certain your chosen vendor is going to stick around and not cancel their entire product platform. Google is still treating customers as if its a cash-strapped startup that can expect a little understanding as it lurches from one half-baked idea to the next.

That day has long since passed.

Now Read:

$5B Lawsuit Claims Google Still Tracks Users in Incognito Mode

Google Applies for Government Exemption to Work With Huawei

YouTube, Like Facebook, Ignored Toxicity Warnings in Favor of ‘Engagement’

from ExtremeTechExtremeTech https://www.extremetech.com/internet/312083-youtube-music-charges-you-to-play-your-own-music-on-your-own-speakers from Blogger http://componentplanet.blogspot.com/2020/06/youtube-music-charges-you-to-play-your.html

#YouTube Music Charges You to Play Your Own Music on Your Own Speakers

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sadprose-auroras · 6 years

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‘About Time’ - Roger TaylorxFem!Reader (Part 1)

A/N: Hello my darlings! I can’t decide if I hate this or not, and I’m not sure if I’ll continue writing this, depends on the response. Please let me know if you want me to continue it (it would probably require way more parts, like a full on series). Hope you enjoy! - Also, this can apply to Ben Hardy’s portrayal of Roger. Whatever you prefer!

(This was totally inspired by a couple time travel fics I read a few weeks ago, I can’t remember the authors or the names but all credits to them for the time travel idea…. LOVE. IT. I just HAD to write my own, crappier version)

Find my other works here!

You sunk to the floor, your knees giving out beneath you. You felt ridiculous, curling up in a ball, in your wardrobe, but you had reached your breaking point; everything had suddenly hit you. As you hugged your knees, sobbing, your jeans became tear-soaked. Your mind wandered, as your cheeks flamed in embarrassment and shame about your current state, despite nobody being around. How did you get here? A few months ago, your life was great. You had a great job, a great circle of friends and boyfriend, and you were pursuing your passion; studying fashion design. Then, everything began to crumble around you. All your friends turned on you, you got fired, and your studies began to slip as a result, causing you to fail an exam.

If all that wasn’t bad enough, you found out your boyfriend of two years had been cheating on you for a year and 11 months. Go figure. It was as if the universe was playing some long, cruel joke on you, just to see how long before you gave up on trying to pursue any kind of happiness. Just as you came to the conclusion that you really had nothing to fight for, leaning your head back on the wall behind you and closing your eyes, the strangest feeling overcame you. Your head began to spin, and pins and needles covered your entire body. You tried to open your eyes, to move your body, but you were frozen. Your heart rate increased rapidly, and you began to think that this was really it. Whatever was happening, you were going to die. Strangely enough, you couldn’t find it in yourself to care.

By some miracle, everything stopped. The pins and needles ceased, and, save a throbbing headache, you felt much better. You experimentally wiggled your toes, and you had feeling back again. Hesitantly, you opened your eyes, looking around you. It was dark, but you could make out the shapes of the clothes hanging around you. Oddly, you didn’t recognise any of them. The chair that was next to you when you closed your eyes was gone, replaced by a shoe rack.

You stood up, closed your eyes again and rubbed your temples, trying to rid of the probable hallucinations. You racked your brain, thinking back to when you studied psychosis in high school. You couldn’t remember a thing. Was temporary paralysis a symptom?

You decided you needed to call a doctor. You pulled your iPhone out of your pocket, still in the dark, and opened up safari. You had no wifi, and no reception. Frowning, you opened the wardrobe door, the knob feeling unfamiliar, to be greeted by a figure doing the same. The door swung open suddenly, bouncing on its hinges.

You both screamed loudly, and, without looking at the figure in front of you, you tried to push past to get away, however, a hand gripped you and pulled you back.

Your eyes became fixed on the man in front of you. You frowned, unable to tear your eyes off him. The hallucinations were getting worse; you were conjuring up images of people in your home. Hang on. You knew his face all too well; you had spent hours watching him drum and sing at concerts on YouTube. It couldn’t be, could it?

“Who are you, and what the hell are you doing in my wardrobe!?” he asked, releasing his grip on you. You winced, rubbing where his fingernails had dug into you. This was all too much.

“I should be asking you the same thing, why are you in my house? What’s going on?” you looked around the room, expecting to see your familiar bedroom; your posters plastered around the walls, your colourful duvet, and your plush white carpet. Instead, the walls were empty, the duvet was blue, and the carpet was grey.

“I need to sit down,” you said, overwhelmed, perching on the edge of the unfamiliar bed. You glanced up at the man in front of you, his expression still shocked and wide-eyed, as he looked you up and down, his brows furrowing.

“God, you seem so real,” you laughed. “But there’s no way.”“What the fuck do you mean?” he replied. “I know I’m real, but I can’t say the same about you. I’ve never known anyone who can just appear out of thin air,” he shook his head in disbelief.

You frowned, rubbing your hands through your hair. “What do you mean, I appeared out of thin air?” your stomach began to sink. For reasons you couldn’t explain, something else was going on. Something much weirder than you initially thought.

“Well, I don’t see how you could have got into my wardrobe without me seeing. I’ve been in my room for 20 minutes.” You glanced at his legs, frowning. What kind of person wears flared jeans anymore?

“I, um,” you began, a laugh escaping your lips despite yourself. This was all too ridiculous. You were actively avoiding eye contact with him. You figured if you acknowledged that it was him, at that age, in front of you, this would all go away. It was impossible. Suddenly, it all came together, as shocking as it was. It wasn’t him that was in the wrong place, it was you. This wasn’t your house. You had no wifi or reception. And, Roger Taylor, looking as he did circa 1972, was right in front of you. Had you time travelled? Your head span at the possibility. What else could explain these strange occurrences?

“What year is it?” you asked, this time properly meeting his eyes this time. Photos didn’t do the real thing justice; his baby blue eyes were maintaining steady eye contact with you, his lips were slightly parted, and his hair looked so soft and angelic. He was insanely beautiful. You internally cursed yourself. Now was definitely not the time.

“1972…” he said, becoming even more confused. Your theory was confirmed. You’d watched all of the Back to the Future movies countless times, but you’d never imagined anything like that could ever really happen. Especially to you; plain, boring, old you.

“I know you’re probably not inclined to believe the crazy girl from your wardrobe, but I think,” you bit your lip, concerned at how he would take the news. “I think I’m from the future.”

----------

“So, you’re telling me you didn’t do anything for this to actually happen?” Roger asked. After trying to explain to him a million times, that yes, you were in fact just as confused as him, and no, you didn’t climb through his window, you tried to remain patient. He had every right to be confused as hell, you would definitely react the same if you were in his shoes. Despite this though, he was oddly trusting, allowing you to remain in his house and actually giving you the time of day to explain your side of the story. He even offered you a glass of water and something to eat, which you accepted gratefully. You were starving.

“Yes, I was literally just in my wardrobe, then the next thing I knew we were screaming in each other’s faces.”

“How do I know you’re telling the truth? You don’t seem very sane so far. I’m going to need some proof. You could just be a crazy girl who will do anything to sleep with me,” he smirked. You rolled your eyes. So the stories were true, he really was cocky.

“Don’t flatter yourself, Taylor,” you retorted. “And no,” you said quickly, as he opened his mouth to speak, “I don’t know your surname because I’m a crazy stalker.” Your mind wandered to your extensive Queen record and CD collection. Okay, so maybe you were a little, but he didn’t need to know that.

“I know because Queen makes it big. I mean, massive.” You bit your lip nervously. If Back to the Future taught you anything, nobody should know too much about their own future. For the first time in your life, you had to think about what you said before you said it.

“How can I convince you?” you asked.

“I don’t know,” he sighed. “What year do you claim to come from, anyway?”

“2019,” you bit your lip.

His eyes widened in disbelief. “Shit,” he mumbled. “Am I….?”

“Still alive? Yeah.” Suddenly, you had an idea. You pulled your phone out of your pocket, thankful it was still charged. You turned it on, the time and date you had left still displayed on the screen (18th January 2019, 11:00), in front of a picture of Queen from 1975. You turned the screen towards him.

“Holy shit, is that me?” he gasped, leaning forward. “2019.” He looked up at you, and you shrugged and nodded. You were thankful he didn’t know the implications of having a picture of somebody as your lockscreen.

“There’s something else,” you unlocked your phone, opening music and searching for ‘Doing Alright.’ You pressed play, the song pouring out of the speakers.

Yesterday, my life was in ruin

Now today, I know what I’m doing…

“Oh my god, that’s our song! We haven’t even released it yet.” He chuckled. You couldn’t help but grin at his excitement, encapsulated by his gorgeous smile.

“Wanna hear more?” you smirked. It’s funny, you had never felt so comfortable around somebody so quickly. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but something about him relaxed you.

----------

“Have you noticed I haven’t asked about that thing you’re holding, ‘cause I’m too scared to?”

You laughed, covering your mouth with your hand. You’d spent the last half an hour playing Roger a few more Queen songs. A small nagging voice in the back of your mind was telling you to stop, to not reveal anything about his future, no matter how small. But Roger’s pleading to hear more won.

“It’s actually a phone,” you said, to answer his question. “Well, that’s its main purpose anyway. You can use it to take and store pictures, play music, and use the internet. Which, well, you’ll find out about in approximately 18 years.”

“I’m intrigued, what’s the internet?” he asked. You thought of all the unspeakable things you had come across on social media, and shook your head.“You don’t want to know.” He raised an eyebrow at you, and you tried to suppress a blush.

You cleared your throat, averting your eyes from him as you straightened up in your seat. “What’s the time?” you asked. He glanced down at his watch. “3am,” he laughed in disbelief. “We should probably get some sleep. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

You shook your head rapidly, taken aback by his utter kindness. “Oh my god no, please, I will. It’s your house,” you said, getting up from the chair you were sitting on. He did the same. You both stood awkwardly, basically staring at each other. You couldn’t help but think of the times you watched a Queen documentary on TV, with the Roger of your time’s commentary. It was hard to believe the man in front of you was the same person.

He cleared his throat, tearing his eyes off you, and going into his bedroom, mumbling something about getting something for you to sleep in.

As you awaited his return, you couldn’t help but wonder why you were so focused on how flustered you were around Roger, and not worried about the fact that you were literally stuck in the wrong year, and had no idea how to get back. The funny thing was, you had no desire to. You hadn’t felt so at home in a long time, than when you were laughing and talking with Roger. He made you feel so safe, so quickly. And that feeling would only grow stronger when you both gave up on convincing the other to sleep on the couch, and ended up sharing his bed.

PART 2: BONUS CONTENT THAT I WROTE THE SAME DAY AS PART ONE. I’M NOT GOING TO CONTINUE IT BUT WHAT’S THE POINT OF HAVING IT IN A WORD DOC N NOT POSTING IT?

When I was writing this, I couldn’t stop imagining rom-com moments. Like, the outfit section? A cute montage with a cute song. Damn I wish I could express the images in my head more clearly, in words. My writing sucks.

“Y/N, wake up. Y/N!!” A familiar, yet foreign, voice startled you. As you came to your senses, you realised your usual soft, silky sheets were replaced with cotton ones, and an unusual smell wafted around you. You slowly opened your eyes, to be greeted by Roger leaning over you, a slightly annoyed look on his face. Fuck. It was real. He must’ve read your disappointment on your face, and he smiled sympathetically and nodded.

“Yep, you’re still here,” he mumbled. You couldn’t help but sigh; you’d hoped it was a really long, unusual dream.

“I have to go to rehearsal for a gig tonight. Do you wanna come?” Of course you didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to meet the rest of the band, and literally see the magic happen, you couldn’t help but feel like you were invading. But then again, who could say they had the chance to sit in on an early Queen rehearsal, especially knowing how successful and impactful they were going to become?

“I don’t – I don’t want to intrude,” you mumbled, sitting up in the bed and clutching the duvet around you, suddenly feeling exposed in Roger’s white shirt.

“Well it’s your choice, I understand that you probably don’t want to sit around with us when you could be finding a way back home or finding your parents or something,” he said.

Although you would never admit it, you wanted nothing more than to go with him. Not only was it literally history in the making, but the absence of your birth parents in your life, leading to a childhood of foster families who couldn’t care less about you, gave you a sense of independence at a young age. You knew how to be alone, seeking solace in music. Music created by the greats like Queen made you feel less alone, as silly as it sounded. It was your escape from the struggles in your real life.

“Wait, no. I want to come. If you don’t mind. But I need something 70s appropriate to wear,” you chuckled, glancing over at your high-waisted skinny jeans and cropped knit jumper folded neatly on a chair.

“I think that can be arranged.” Roger grinned at you, and you were struck with yet another wave of disbelief. Roger Taylor was going to lend you come of his iconic clothes.

After spending a couple of hours going through Roger’s clothes, which was your absolute dream, you finally settled on a pair of pants that were a little too short, and a shirt that was slightly too tight across the chest. You tried to spice up the outfit with a few of Roger’s necklaces, much to his dismay.

“Do I look okay?” you asked when you stepped out, twirling around with your arms out.

Roger, standing with a pile of clothes in his arms that you had rejected, furrowed his brows and looked you up and down. You couldn’t help but stifle a giggle at the sight; he was taking his job as your stylist very seriously.

“You’ll almost fit in,” he said, “although, the shirt is too tight,” he finished bluntly, gesturing to your chest. You folded your arms instinctively.

“Don’t worry, I won’t look at your boobs.” You frowned at this. Was that meant to make you feel better? Why did you feel slightly disappointed?

“Um, thanks?” you scoffed. “What should I do with my hair?” you tugged on each of your French braids. Roger walked towards you without warning, and pulled out your hair ties, running his fingers through your hair.

“Just leave it loose.” He said hoarsely, his face dangerously close to yours. Your heart was beating rapidly, and you couldn’t take your eyes off him. He was biting his lip in concentration, his eyes squinting as he adjusted your hair. It took everything in you to not lean into his touch; his fingers were so delicate. As he pushed a strand of hair out of your face, his eyes met yours.

“Perfect,” he almost whispered, his breath sending shivers down your spine. You knew you should pull away. You knew this would get way too complicated. Your rationality was telling you to snap out of it. But as his hands smoothly came to rest around your neck, bringing you closer, something else entirely was driving your actions. Just as you began to lean in, he pulled away, clearing his throat loudly.

“Let me get you a coat,” he said, quickly rushing away from you. You bit your lip, cheeks flaming. You were humiliated. What were you thinking, trying to kiss him? He obviously wasn’t attracted to you; the weird, pathetic crazy time-traveller. You didn’t even belong here anyway, how could you possibly think he would want you? Your eyes began to well up, you just had to get out of there.

As you quickly began to gather your clothes and phone, furiously wiping the tears from your eyes, Roger returned with a fur coat in his arms.

“Here, this should fit – wait, what’s wrong?” he asked, realising your state.

“I’m just gonna go. I’m so sorry to have invaded your life like this, you shouldn’t have to deal with my weird ass problems. Thank you for everything. It was nice meeting you, I guess. I’ll never forget you,” you rambled, becoming increasingly embarrassed, trying to walk past him. He gently placed his hands on your upper arms, turning you to face him.

“Hey, hey, I don’t have to help you, okay? I want to. If you’ll let me.” he said, a surprisingly vulnerable look on his face.

“But, I’m burdening you too much! You can’t have me holding you back from living your normal life. You don’t want me clinging to your side like some kind of….” You paused, struggling to find the right words in your frazzled state. “Some kind of leech. I mean, I’m just annoying. For God’s sake, we have nothing in common! I’m technically young enough to be your daughter!”

Roger laughed softly. “Okay, first of all, you’re not a leech. And yes, it’s weird that you’re from the future, and I’ll probably never wrap my head around it, but so what? We shouldn’t get along, but we do.” You hoped he couldn’t notice your blush at this.

“And, lastly,” he said, a cheeky smirk on his face, “the thought of you being my daughter is gross, but me being your daddy on the other hand…”

“Oh my god, Roger! No!” you couldn’t help but laugh, as you rapidly shook your head. You couldn’t tell if he was joking or not; you secretly hoped he wasn’t.

“So, do you still wanna come to rehearsal?” he asked, all joking aside.

You sighed, hoping you weren’t being a burden. “Okay, give me that then,” you grabbed the coat off him, pulling it on.

“Do I look normal?” you asked.

“No,” he smirked, and you raised your eyebrows at him. “In a good way, though. Come on,” he said, grabbing your hand. You tried to ignore the jolts of electricity you felt from this sweet gesture. You never thought simply holding hands with someone would give you so many butterflies.

#roger taylor x reader #roger taylor #queen #queen band #ben hardy #ben hardy x reader #brian may #freddie mercury #john deacon #queen imagine #fanfic #queen fanfic

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nataliagodley51-blog · 5 years

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Ape To Mp3

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itspialotta · 5 years

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Idk a little view in my life i guess.

Hi i’m Pia Lotta,

i was born on 27th of July 2004 wich i regret, but certainly cannot change. I also don’t like the place where i live. Germany. Without a doubt a very known country. Well i live on the countryside in a little village. I drive with my bike to school wich is 8 km far. Although in winter my mom drives me, because i don’t like being in the school bus. Not that i don’t like busses, no i love them, i love sitting there on a sit next to the window, listening to music. I just don’t like crowds, people pushing and you touch people you mostly don’t even know.

In my school is limited space that’s why year 5,6,7,8 are on one school let’s call this one ‚Main school‘ year 9 and 10 are in a different school further away, lets call that one ‚My school‘ because that’s where i go. I’m currently in year 9 but after summer holidays i obviously go into year ten.

Anyways i drifted away. I usually meet up with my best friends Haley and Paula and one of our good friends (Larissa). We always have a speaker and listen to music and chat while driving to school. Often it’s music like 5sos, The vamps, New hope club, Nirvana sometimes Why don’t we. And other artists we adore.

In my school i don’t have a lot of friends, but I don’t think that’s important. I have a couple of guy friends and a couple of girl friends. They’re cool, i like them we laugh a lot. One of my favourite subjects are English and Art. I love English because when i graduate i want to do either work and travel or go straight to the USA to work there. I love the english language it’s way more fun and i feel like i can express myself better. :))

Anyways when i come home around 2 or 3 pm i usually eat. A lot. Wich isn’t good, but i like food a lot. But i’m also insecure about my body. I live in a little apartment with my mom and my little brother. My moms name is Corinna and my brothers name is Newt (im obviously changing everyone’s name but mine) He’s currently 12 and part time annoying.

This is way more exhausting than i thought, i don’t even know why the fuck i’m writing all of this when literally no one will read it. I’m just really really bored.

Yeah anyways i love music and i would love to to something with music in my future, but of course i’m not talented at all. I cannot sing and i can’t even play any instrument. I love listening to it though, a lot. I love lyrics and how every instrument harmonies with everything. i love the sound of a guitar string strung, i love every bassline in a song. and i’m utterly in love with drums. I often don’t even sing the lyrics, although i’m in love with every single lyric in my playlist, i sing the drum or bassline.

i’m in a lot of fandoms so it may accur you that i have Wattpad. Of course i do. I love it. I love reading stories and how you can just sink into them, i don’t even hear anything else when i read, i’m literally in the book. I can see everything they describe and more. But what i love most about Wattpad is the writing. The writing is something i will never get enough of. It is like all the stress just vanishes more and more with every word written, and not just that. You can create a whole new world, a whole new person, something new. You can create something. And that’s what i love. I started Wattpad at the age of 11. I got it because of my huge obsession with Harry Potter, wich is constantly a part of me. My friends used to call me Luna or Hermione because they thought i am like them. And i certainly have to agree. Then the phase with all of the bands started, i got into it mostly because of my Dad. Nickelback, Nirvana and more. But into the 5sos fandom i got because of my friend Haley. She dragged me into it.

I’m also in love with Photography, nature in specific, but as well the anatomy of the human being. i love the art of simple moments pressed on paper and when you look at the paper it’s almost as if you can smell the flowers, taste the fresh air, hear the humming of bees. Or you look at it and memories start playing in your head, Photography is the art to hold something you don’t want to let go, because it’s art by itself.

I love vintage stuff, wich might be because i adore the 90s and 80s. The fashion was way ahead of their time. And i would love to wear all those clothes and outfits i have on my pinterest bord, but i can’t. Simply because i’m in my own way. Wich is impressively stupid, even for me, but my eyes and brain definitely feel as if i shouldn’t and couldn’t in any way wear that. My body is just not made for that. So i just shrug my shoulders and throw anything on, wich in most of the cases appears to be a huge Hoodie and a jeans.

im also a very organized person and i must say that i’m definitely a perfectionist. But i also should mention that my room sometimes isn’t the cleanest, i usually tidy up twice a week. So to notice is that my inner perfectionist is only coming out when i’m not in my own room, i have to put everything where it belongs, every paper i write can’t have a single mistake and everything has to be sat at the perfect place. When i tidy up, i do everything. If i’m once in the flow i can’t get enough of organizing and everything. Even if it’s my own room.

i must say though, that i have found an personal interest in watching this screen hanging on my wall, while sitting and laying in my bed for whole days, turning every half hour to make it comfortable again. In 50% of the time, i do basically nothing, i watch mostly vlogs and other youtube videos. The other 50 percent are divided in two 25 percent pieces. One of them being, watching series and movies on Netflix the other one is me putting on a playlist of music because i’m too lazy to charge my 3 speakers. Since i do this very often i can just lead to the next point.

I’m socially awkward and don’t like people. This may sound either strange or unbelievably stupid, but let me explain. I like talking to people, as long as we’re either in school or on the internet. but even then i get bored after a while and just say that i’ll be gone for a minute, when in reality i just turn on the TV or pull up Wattpad. I especially don’t like meeting up with people, it puts you to a responsibility where you can’t leave, because you feel uncomfortable. i never know what to talk about, but try to keep the conversation going, due to politeness. I always want to be somewhere else, by myself. Because i can do whatever i want when i’m alone, I don’t have to see if the other person is fine, i don’t have to ask if they want anything. And most importantly i don’t have to be scared that they’re bored or annoyed. Because my constant Concern is that i don’t want to bother or annoy people. To be honest, i always think i annoy people. Just like right now, if anyone is even reading this right now, i’m really sorry for you because at this point you have to be either bored or annoyed and asking yourself why you even read this. I’m really sorry :(

I guess there isn’t much i can talk about at this point, i don’t know if you actually read this, but if you did, i applaud you for not falling asleep and making it this far.

If you have any questions you can obviously ask them, you can always send me a direct message. If you want to know more about an aspect of my life or you want me to write down my opinion on stuff, because i usually always have an opinion that you can just send me a direct message or comment ;)

There’s probably a lot of wrong spelling in there so i also apologize for this.

#mylife #lifeblogging #introducing me #myself #about me #5sos #5 seconds of summer #wattpad #netflix #english #shawn mendes fandom #fandom #fan life

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peaches-of-1 · 6 years

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Trivia: Holiday Dance

J-Hope x Black!Youtuber

You came to Korea with high hopes that had been met. They are now surpassed as you get the chance to make a youtube video with several BTS members. The recording goes much better than expected, just in time for Christmas.

I walked around the town taking my time as I were getting the last needed things to stay inside for Christmas. My family wasn’t in Korea, but I was. I had moved there...here because of my chance at getting famous. It’s true I had many talents and I wasn’t spectacularly gorgeous, but it was Korea. I had been hoping to take the Sam Okyere route and be famous for being black. And before you say some dumb shit about using my race as an advantage, chill. There aren’t many places where my dark skin is a good thing. We’re usually crooks and rapists and filling up jail cells on dumbass charges, but here.

Here in Korea I was praised for being myself. My self confidence has blossomed and I’m less depressed. Yeah, there are times when I’m told to go back to where I came from or something like that but more people tell that person to shut up no matter if they’re older or not. I feel respected here which is why I’ve stayed in Korea for three years now.

And have I gotten famous? Yes. I’ve gotten famous for my unique style which is apparently still unique in Korea. I run a YouTube channel but I have also become a TV personality and equality advocate. It’s really fun. I get to meet a lot of celebs and get to travel a lot.

“Hey, (Y/N)!” Someone called. They approached me wearing a green padded jacket and western styled makeup on. Their body looked like a caterpillar and the face a butterfly.

I stopped, “Yes. Hello?”

We bowed to each other.

“I’m Kim Gertrude. I work for some very important people. Here’s my card.”

She handed the card to me and I saw she was one of BTS’s managers. Married by the looks of it. I had met several before, but schedules man. You think idols are busy? I just got my own editor for my videos and I still had a lot of legwork to do.

“Hi, Gertrude. Nice to meet you.”

She smiled, “I know we’ve tried to set up something before, but a lot of staff has been fired in the recent...event. I just wanted to make sure we still had some connection with you and heard you were headed to Megan’s place today.”

I nodded, “Oh, I am. We’re shooting a video today. That’s very kind of you to go out of your way to confirm that. Uh, quick question. I have a mostly clear schedule for the next two weeks since I’m doing things in advanced and this is the last video I’m shooting for my channel event. Anyways, um, is there a chance I could have one day with at least one of the guys anywhere in that time?”

Gertrude tapped her lip, “Maybe. I’ll have to double check and let you know. I left my work phone somewhere. I promise to let you know as soon as possible. I have to get going now. Thank you for your time.”

“You’re welcome. Thank you for the card and I hope to hear you from you soon.”

After bowing to each other, she went to a car that was waiting and I continued to my friend Megan’s place. We were recording for my 25 days of videos. It was two months until December and the holiday season, so I had a lot of events to go to. I’d do vlogs too, but for YouTube content I’d be doing as many collabs as possible.

“(Y/N)!” Megan said with a big smile when I got to her door. Her cats meowed all around as we hugged each other.

I made sure to give them pets and scratches too.

[Thirty minutes later]

The first video for her channel was recorded, and I legit smelled like cat food. Feathers were everywhere. We tested to see what the cats would do with certain toys, which they liked the best, which they didn’t really like. They destroyed three feathered ones, so it was time for clean up and a quick break before we started recording mine.

With the feathers in the trash, I decided to check my phone while she ordered take out. I had sent Gertrude a confirmation text and she said she was glad to know I was actually interested and that she had heard good things from the former employees and really liked me work, all that jazz.

Then this exchange happened once I checked my phone. I nearly screamed.

I lied. I had no ideas that hadn’t already been used up for the 25 days thing. My face must’ve looked very stressed because Megan gave me a confused look.

“You good?”

“If I show you this, you can’t tell anyone until it’s over.”

She nodded, “I swear on my life, girl.”

I showed her the text messages and her eyes lit up. She grabbed my phone to scream and then looked at me. Looking at the phone, she screamed again.

“NOoooo”

“Yesss!”

“Girl, I’ve been doing this for 10 years and I couldn’t even get ten seconds with…” She handed my phone back, “What’s the idea?”

“I don’t have one! I came up with so many ideas for my channel for the 25 days things and the only things I didn’t do was because they are impossible or they suck ass!”

Megan shook her head and held out her hand, “List.”

I scrolled on my phone to show her the list. She looked through it and we stood in awkward but excited silence for a good few seconds as she saw what wasn’t crossed out.

“Potato sack race? In the winter?”

“Anyways!” I waved my hand.

Then she held out her phone while her fluffiest cat jumped onto the counter and into my arms, “What about this one? Random dance play? They’re dancers, or even guess the song! You both love music!”

“But the copyrights! I’m broke, sis!” I whined.

“Make it BTS. They can’t strike you if they��re listening to their own music.”

I wanted to facepalm so hard, “You’re right! OMG thank you so much!”

The doorbell buzzed. Probably food. I started texting back.

The food was set up in the living room when I returned. Megan asked how it went, and I told her I was just waiting to see if any of the guys wanted to do it. She said she was so glad for me but I owed her a name drop for helping. Of course! I’d make sure it was kept in the video intro. She laughed and we recorded my video which just us doing each other’s makeup with children’s makeup kits that one would get from like the toy section.

It was just a fun thing, but I had to remember to wash it off because it was also done blindfolded and we looked like wrecks with a capital R.

When next week arrived, I had become that girl who was trying to impress guys but “not too much” Not like I bought a whole new outfit to wear or started preparing my hair ahead of time or anything. I didn’t make a video vlog of my shopping or upload my selfie to my insta account. Nothing...like...that.

Ok, fine. Maybe I did, but don’t I look damn fine?

The plan was to do one all BTS dances and then one full of iconic hits. Mostly TWICE, Hyuna, and Super Junior from the sounds of it. I told Gertrude the guys could just show up in whatever they usually do their dance practices in, something comfortable.

I was wearing leggings, a tank top, and a sheer mesh dress with some white tennis shoes. Clean, but not like I was trying too hard. I just did some lip tint and foundation for a confidence booster and cameras. Waterproof or not, nothing was going on my eyes. I even put on extra strength deodorant cuz I’d be stanky and I didn’t wanna be stanky around BTS. My hair was in two cute buns. Basically a stylish workout.

Taking a deep breath, I went inside and Gertrude greeted me. She said the boys were wrapping up a project and were running a bit late. I was escorted to the practice room while given some rules of what could and could not go into the videos final cut, if it should happen. I told them I followed most of the KBS TV show guidelines when interacting with idols.

“Trust me. Me and my editor take our utmost care to show honest celebrities without tarnishing their records.”

Then they left me in the room to set up with a bodyguard who also had some tech knowledge in case I needed help. I set up my own camera and tripod and tested the speakers. I made sure my earrings were still in and that I wasn’t sweating too much. Then I turned on my phone camera.

“Hey, guys. It’s ya girl PeachesNoCream hear recording yet another video for you. I am not sure when this is going up, I’m thinking sometime during Kwanzaa since you guys need to catch up on my 25 Collabs of Christmas. If you haven’t go see those now.” I smiled and giggled, getting into YouTuber mode.

I messed with a puff making sure it stayed lively, “Anywhoosies, if you’ll notice, I am not in any of my usual spots today. You’ll see, I’ve been blessed by the k-pop gods themselves to do a video with some idols from my favorite group. They’re running a bit late, but it just give me more time to set up...and work on my intro several times until they show up.”

Which I did until the fifth take wasn’t too fake, wasn’t too squeaky or could be perceived as fake. Then I answered some emails while pacing around talking to my editor and confirming or rejecting certain events. I was going to be called in last minute to do this Winterview, I just knew it. Just as I was checking my teeth in the front facing camera, they walked in.

Three of the seven gods belonging to BTS. Damn, how were they all so attractive? I forgot how to breath for a solid five seconds before bowing and greeting them, shaking their hands and such.

“Wow, you guys were so late, I started to wonder if I had been pranked.” Why the fuck did I say that?

They chuckled, “Sorry, Hobi took forever deciding which shorts to wear.”

“I watch your videos sometimes and saw that you made a video about your favorite body parts on idols. Number 1 was my legs and my abs, but you gotta earn those.” He laughed.

I smiled back, “Wow thanks. So you know what we’re gonna do today, right?”

“We gonna dance!” Jimin exclaimed!

“Yep. The first one is all your songs and then the second is just from all over kpop. Do you guys wanna do an intro with me?”

The three boys nodded, and so I came up with an idea on the spot. They in on the other side of my camera and I introduced myself with the basic script I had liked the most from earlier.

“...I’ve been blessed by the k-pop gods themselves. Would you like to meet them?” I turned my body to stand in front of them and they waved and smiled. “It’s BTS!”

Hoseok was laughing, “K-pop gods.”

I smiled at him, making eye contact and then cut off the camera. “That was good, guys. Now, part two of the intro is me explaining what we’re doing for a few seconds.”

Testing the speakers once more, I turned on the camera and had the guys stand on either side of me. They were all taller than I was by at least two inches, but I was pretty sure Jimin was wearing lifts.

“So what am I doing with the deities of dance? Dancing, of course. The four of us will be doing a random dance challenge with BTS songs and some iconic ones afterwards. The songs may be new or old, but either way the chorus will play and we have to do our best at doing the correct choreography. Got it, guys?” I looked at each of them.

“Got it!”

“Sounds fun!”

“Let’s get it!”

I smiled, “Alright, let’s clear the floor. I’ve mostly followed J-Hope and Suga when learning dances, so I’ll be doing their stuff most of the time.” I looked over to the assigned helper. “Yoosung, start the video please. Video links will be in the description.”

The intro music played. Then the countdown began. | “I need you girl, wheh…” started playing, and the guys began doing their thing. I joined in the body rolls and steps. I really liked doing this one. I think there was even an “in heels” cover somewhere on my channel.

Thirty minutes later, the list ended and the boys said that there were some they needed to practice again. They were smiling and laughing which was a good sign. I really just wanted them to have some fun even if I was chugging down a whole TaTa water bottle. They had stamina for the gods, and I barely had it for myself.

Hoseok laughed at my huge sigh after water spilled down my chin, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Good thing I brought a towel.” I got the small towel out of my bag and wiped my sweat on the way to the small puddle, but the assistant was already mopping it up. “Oh, thanks.”

“No problem.” He smiled and then set up the next round of songs.

I spoke to the camera again, so glad I wouldn’t have to edit this myself or I’d probably die of embarrassment.

“So, how was that, Jimin?”

“It was fun! I wanna do more!”

Taehyung laughed, “Even though you went the wrong way during--”

Jimin became a giggly mochi as he hit Tae’s arm, “Shut up!”

“Well, we have time for one more video. It’s iconic dances of all time. Do you still want to do it?”

They all said yes, of course, so we went into the second round of dances. I had learned so much more ever since coming to Korea, and we got excited when our favorites came on or ones that brought nostalgia. Hobi was a bit shy to join some even though he was shaking his hips or moving his arms from the side.

And then fifteen minutes in, “Troublemaker” came on. Taehyung was Jimin’s Hyuna, and I did the Queen’s part by myself. I knew they probably wouldn’t dance with me to this type of song, and I understood. It was just the chorus, but as it went on, I couldn’t help but feel kinda left out? That’s the best way to describe it. Even though I was doing well, I was about to go back to the sidelines until I felt a presence behind me and arms under mine.

Hobi danced the rest of the short section with me, letting me put my palms on top of his. The song launched into the slow part, and let me tell you. Time literally slowed down. It felt really natural to be doing this with him. Our bodies moved in sync like they were one and he kept his manner hands as much as he could. But damn. Our chemistry.

I smiled and he grinned back. Then the snippet ended and the next song came on. My heart was going fast, so I took a break from a few songs to get a drink of water. He continued to dance with his members. A girl was shook and that girl was me.

Chung Ha’s “Love You” came on near the end and J-Hope grabbed my hand to pull me to the dance floor. He was adorkable as he placed me in front of him. This time, Jimin got to be the main girl and Taehyung did backup. I did my best not to be extra, but this dance probably wasn’t going to get into the final cut anyways. When it was time for the full body roll and hand over waist moment, I took my chance to grab the back of his hand for just a moment.

Five more choruses, and it was done. The boys said how much fun they had on camera while I forced my attention to anywhere but J-Hope. We were all breathing hard and then off. We all high fived each other and used our sweat towels to wipe off our perspiration. I did a quick pit sniff as slyly as I could, and Jimin smiled at me. We giggled at each other.

They all helped me pack up even though Hoseok helped me the most. Tae and Jimin went into the hall to talk about something and said they’d be back soon.

“I don’t mean to be rude, but why were you late? It couldn’t have taken that long for just some shorts.”

“Oh, uh. They wanted help with a Christmas song. We really wanted to make an album for it this year. That’s what they’re probably talking about right now. We’re gonna record some more once we get back to the dorms.”

A vague memory popped in my head, “Is it that one Taehyung…”

Hoseok nodded, and I smiled. So they were gonna end up singing it together after all. That made me happy.

“I’m glad. They deserve to sing together.” I said as I zipped up the last bag.

That’s when the boys came back in. Taehyung apologized for taking so long. Hobi said that she knew about the song, and they smiled at her. Jimin looked like he wanted to say something but decided not to and told us to ignore him.

I giggled, “I guess that’s it then. It was an honor to work with you guys. I hope we can do some more videos again some time.”

“Nooo, don’t gooo. Come to dinner with us?”

“I thought we were just gonna get takeout and watch movies before hitting the studio. Y’know, back at the dorms.” J-Hope said, confused.

Not gonna lie, I was confused too, “Well, if you’re gonna do all that. I don’t wanna intrude. I’ve taken up enough of your time.”

Taehyung wasn’t having it as he grabbed my arm and pulled me along, “No, no, no. We’re going out to eat together. There’s a place nearby that I haven’t gotten to try when not in a rush. It’ll be fun. Jimin, carry her stuff.”

The pink haired man grabbed the duffle in my right hand while Hobi followed behind, holding my other bag. The excited puppy-like Taehyung went on and on about how good the cold noodles were at this restaurant and how they’d have one of their managers drive me home instead of me having to take a cab or the train. I thought Why not? Free food! And ordered a few sushi rolls and we shared a huge bowl of cold noodles. It was really fun.

They asked me about videos and who I had gotten to interact with over the years. Hobi and Tae seemed the most interested while Jimin’s attention was more on the bottle of soju that a fan at another table ordered for them. It was even better that I could also ask them questions that I had been wondering about for years! Most importantly, which ARMY got the Bangtan Universe timeline correct? I know they had watched videos to see if anyone had. They were curious like that especially when it came to their fans and their content.

J-Hope replied that no one had gotten it 100% right, but a certain youtuber had gotten about 86% right but switched several key events. I asked who.

“That’s for us to know, and for you to find out.” Jimin winked at me and then got shy, hitting Joon’s arm. “Ah, that’s so cheesy.”

We had gotten a booth, but the boy with the boxy smile was the one sitting next to me while the two others sat across from us. About three hours had passed by with us just talking. Then it was time for me to upload the footage to my computer and send it to my editor. I wondered if she was up. I needed to fangirl to someone who would keep it a secret until it was uploaded.

I laughed and called her, “Hiya.”

“Oh my god, girl!” She squeaked. “Are you serious? You really shot this video today? Like, today today?”

“Yeah.” I chuckled. “I told you what I was gonna be doing.”

“Yeah, but you never said who it was gonna be with. BTS? I am so proud of you, but also. Mama can’t edit this without some notes. Some tea worthy notes.”

I had just gotten out of the shower, so I was doing my face mask and night routine in my oversized jumper and ankle socks. We usually talked like this while she did the first round of editing and then she’d would text me for anything else she needed info on. Like always, she ran the conversation just because that’s how our relationship worked.

“It wasn’t much. We just danced. They were late because of work stuff, so I was able to record some solo intros for you to choose from. Should I have gotten some more intros with them it it? I felt like the first one was good enough.”

Her deep voice laughed, “If you think it’s good enough, it probably is. But stop being so shy. What was is like? Who’s hottest in person?”

“You say that as if Hobi doesn’t own my heart and soul. Do you expect another answer?” I replied, remembering the dances we did...and his hands on my waist. His hands in my hands. His front pressed up against my back. How in sync our moments were.

“Y/N!!!!” My editor yelled.

I nearly dropped my phone as I dropped, “Yea?”

“Where did you go and why did your breathing get heavier? No wait...” She gasped. “Gurl. He did not. He. Did. NOT!!!”

She had gotten to that one. You knew it. The music played from her computer, and you could hear it through the phone. She was screaming at the top of her lungs from excitement. Her words were incomprehensible until her neighbor yelled at her. After apologizing, she was back.

“Hyuna! He danced behind you like that? TaeTae and Chim even left the stage because y’all were getting it on. This isn’t going in the video is it?”

“No! No way. I’d get fucking murdered if any sasaengs or worse, hardcore ARMY, saw that. I might put that in a blooper reel. Might, in like two million years. Also, we do Chung Ha’s song together too, so cut that out please. I quite enjoy living.”

She squealed quietly again, “Please tell me you got his number!”

I scoffed, “Nah, but he did help me pack up afterwards. Also, Tae made sure I ate dinner with them. A manager drove me back home, so that was fun.”

She was probably gonna ask what we talked about over dinner, but there was a loud crash and the sound of a dog whining. She had to go. I ended up falling asleep to the latest episode of Hello Counselor and waking up to my phone going absolutely insane. I woke up with drool on my face and the mask barely hanging on.

Luckily, it had been charging nearby. So I grabbed it and I couldn’t believe it. Apparently I had uploaded a video last night that had now reached 1 million views already. So many comments were pouring in. I had to turn off notifications before my phone literally exploded. It was already very hot.

“Wh-what the fuck?” My tired brain tried to understand what was going on.

Underneath the YouTube notifs was a text from my editor.

> Hey, I edited the video while my dog had to go the hospital last night and decided to uploaded it since I finished. Hope you don’t mind! ^_^

> OMG, girl. Check the video. You’re trending already!

I am gonna kill you <

> Love you too! Call me when you can! ^3^

I refreshed the page and it was almost at 3 million. I wanted to look at the comments, I really did. But I also was fucking terrified. There were so many missed calls and my Twitter and my Insta were also blowing up. I had to turn off every notification ever and make my own posts to maybe quell the flames.

Twitter: Holy shit, guys! My editor uploaded that for me as a surprise...to me. Thanks to @bts_twt for all the working with me, but I’m scared to look at the comments *scared face*

Instagram Story: Appreciate the support but stop blowing me up, thx!

Even though it was a lot of good news that I was seeing at first glance, it took me way too long to get rid of all my notifications. Also, I knew that was getting hate. Yeah, I had been doing this for years but I had a soft heart especially for things I cared about a lot. It’s not like I had time to prepare myself for any of this. | Deep breaths. I had to take deep breaths and made an instagram poll.

Read the comments on my YT vid or no?

Of course most of them said yes with the hope of their comment being seen and liked by me. Fine, I would, but D had to be on the phone with me as I did from my laptop just as moral support and to make me feel better about any mean ones. I probably had on more comment filters than necessary anyways, but just in case.

I scrolled down and there was a lot of good. A lot of people laughed at the forgotten bits of choreo and how exaggerated they were when doing the other’s solo dances. There were a lot of comments that had a timestamp around 38:22.

“D?”

“Mm-hmm?”

“What’s at 38 minutes and 22 seconds?”

Her voice went high, “Nothing?”

I smacked my lips and whispered, “Girl, I swear to god, if that’s what I think it is…”

“No, don’t--”

I clicked and there on my screen was J-Hope and I dancing to “Troublemaker” together. The other time stamp was 56:04. Guess what that was? You guessed it. “Love You” which I didn’t mind as much, but I was gonna die. My face got so warm.

“Oh my gahd. Oh my fucking god. I’m dead. I’m gonna die.” I took a deep breath and contemplated letting it out. Eventually, I did. “I can’t go outside today or tomorrow or ever again!”

D scoffed, “Gurl, it’s not like they know this was recorded yesterday or whatever. It could’ve been done a long time ago.”

I paced around my apartment, phone pressed to my ear and voice rising, “Denessa, Jimin’s hair was blonde until a week ago until it became pink which it is in my video. They’re gonna know it’s hella recent. Also, also, Taehyung posted a selca yesterday about having a good time dancing. They’re gonna connect the dots and murder me for messing with their oppas!”

“If I was there, I’d slap you. Get a hold of yourself, girly. So what if it’s recent? They aren’t gonna kill you. As if you hadn’t gotten death threats before. Did anything happen then?”

“Nothing dramatic, just the letters.”

“Exactly. You can throw those out. You’ll be fine. Anyways, if you really do feel unsafe, then you can call the police. They’ll actually help you here.”

I breathed, “You’re right. You’re right. I do feel bad because I feel as though they’ll get mad at me for adding those moments. Also, I just don’t want any rumors.”

“I feel bad for putting them in. They just looked so cute! I’ll edit it out and reupload.”

“Just keep them in unless we get in trouble. It’s out there now. People have saved the clips already.” I chuckled and heard a text come through. After checking I wanted to die again. “Hey, it’s the manager. I’ll text you later.”

“Good luck, girly.”

Gertrude sent me a number and said to call it asap. I did even though my stomach felt like it was a hole or emptiness. I decided to make a bowl of cereal as I waited for the other side to pick up and also prayed that it wasn’t Bang PD or the legal team of some corporation wanting to sue me for the content.

A deep and chipper voice answered, “Hello, (Y/N)?”

“Hi...yeah, it’s me.”

“Good. It’s Hoseok.”

J-Hope! I nearly choked on a Cheerio, “Um. Hi, Hoseok. What-uh, what made you need me to call you? Before you say anything, it was my editor who did everything. I had no idea she uploaded it until last night. It’s not the first time she’s done this but I didn’t mean for anything to happen like--”

“Hey, hey, calm down. I watched it with the guys. I was staring a lot, huh?”

I nodded but then realized he couldn’t see me, “Y-yeah...I noticed that too. We’ve got good chemistry though.” What was I saying? That’s probably not what he wanted. “I can tell her to edit it out or the parts where we danced together. It’s no biggie.”

He chuckled, “No, it isn’t that. I’m actually glad she kept them in, actually. We’ve been wanting a new image lately, and I think this’ll help move it in the right direction.”

“Really?” Said I who was quite shook.

“Really.” He shifted the phone before speaking again. “The fans aren’t giving you a hard time, are they?”

“No. They’re actually being really nice. Just the usual hate that I deal with on a much grander scale because you know, it’s trending and all.”

“Congrats!” He said, a smile in his voice.

I didn’t want him to hang up, and I didn’t have anything to do today. Still, I felt like we should be saying something even though this was the most comfortable silence I had ever experienced.

“What are you--?” Hobi said the same time as I said, “Is that--” We laughed at the cross over and told the other to go first. He was older, so he spoke.

He asked what I was doing for Christmas since there was a ball he wanted to invite me to as his date. All of BTS would be escorting someone, mostly friend, family, or ARMY. Basically, he saw you as a friend and wanted to spend more time with me. I was not shook. I was not shaken nor stirred.

I was shooketh.

“So, we’re going as friends?” I asked just to make sure my heart could calm down a bit.

He hesitated, “Yes. Does that mean you’re coming?”

“Yeah. Sounds fun. What’s the dress code?”

“I’ll send you something. We’ll match!” The smile in his voice was evident.

I blinked, “What do you mean you’ll send me something. Hoseok, you don’t even know my--”

“Uh, sorry. Hyung needs me for something. See you soon. Bye!”

Beep. He hung up. I looked at myself in the mirror, making my pajamas as tight as possible. Just looking at my body trying to see what he saw. It wasn’t anything too special. Then again, he did like black girls. I smirked and then broke out into a full out smile and held my cheeks. My chest felt like it was a ball of light. Jung Hoseok was my friend. I was so lucky! Thank goodness I stayed in Korea.

I just stayed low for a while after the video came out. Yeah, the death threats and racial slurs increased in my inboxes and messages of all sorts, but that just meant my block button was getting used a lot more too. About a week had passed and most of them had gone away to the latest scandal and relationship drama or whatever.

No one told me to edit out the moments of me and J-Hope dancing together. I guess it was because it was seen through a logical lense for the most part. The dances required two people to dance together, and it wasn’t extremely sexual. Manner hands were obvious and made even more obvious by D’s editing skills. I thanked her for that. To be completely honest, I was sorta really glad that it was kept there and that a certain channel called KMusicAndBlackWomen asked if she could include it in her next video.

With Hoseok’s permission, I was able to say yes. The two of us eventually met up again and he asked once more if the comments were bad. He was really worried because he knew there were some real asshats who claimed to be their fans even though they’d never want someone so hateful in their fandom. We even grabbed lunch where I told him about the awful Winterview that would be happening two days before the ball.

“Why’s it so awful? I mean, I don’t really watch it but everyone seems to enjoy watching it every year.”

I sighed, “One of the hosts is always saying slightly racist, well completely racist things and people laugh it off. I just smile too because I’m not one for confrontation.” I stirred my hot cocoa and watched the mini marshmallows melt.

“If they’re saying dumb shit, then call them out.” Hoseok gave me an unexpected answer. “At least let them know it’s not ok, or they’re gonna keep doing it. Online comments can only do so much. I’m sure they’ll stop or at least watch what they say if you do it during the interview.”

“No promises. It’s just they’re so much popular than I am.” I didn’t say the name since I knew Hobi worked closely with her.

He held your hand on the table for a moment, “Listen. There’s only one of them and there are millions of black fans who hate to hear that person say racist stuff. If you won’t do it for you, do it for the fans. Yours and theirs who usually have to keep quiet.”

I hoped Hoseok was right. Putting on basic foundation before I left, I made sure I had everything I needed since I’d be out all day. I also took migraine medicines because I had been dreading this day. This time would be my fourth time doing this.

More importantly, I hoped I had the guts to say something when she said some dumb shit. I had to laugh at myself. Not “if” but “when” because I knew she was gonna spew some bull from that useless mouth of hers.

Like every year prior, we shared the same dressing room. I was to wear a simple red and cream colored Gucci dress with a long sleeve shirt under which was the same creamy tone along with green stockings and a small Christmas hat pinned into my hair. Later on a red and green suit would be my outfit because we had a 15 minute intermission for the hour long livestream.

“I’ll be watching! You’ll do great. Fighting!” Hobi texted me, and I smiled at my phone.

“What, did you get a notification for a discount on dashikis?” It was her. Winnie.

I set my jaw, “Nope. Just a friend of mine wishing me luck.” I turned my phone on silent and slid it into my pocket.

Before she could say something else, we were called to our seats. Then it was lights, cameras, action. The four guests were introduced: Me, Winnie, a male YouTuber named Carlos, and underrated solo idol James. Carlos was a friend of mine and had the longest hair out of anyone there. It was braided back and tied with a red and green ribbon.

We would be answering questions and playing games all night. Things went well, and Winnie kept quiet for the most part. She was polite, which was sort of weird. Like, she was usually polite but just racist towards black people in a passive aggressive way.

“So, (Y/N),” James asked. “You’ve had a video go viral lately. What do you think attributed to it getting so popular in such a short period of time?”

“Well, uh, it was an accidental upload of sorts. My editor had spare time to edit as she was waiting for her dog to get treated--he’s ok by the way, and she just posted it for me. As to what caused the popularity, it was BTS. They’re good guys and popular and talented, and people are constantly looking for content of them. I just happened to be the supplier of it that day.”

Winnie commented, “You’re used to supplying people with their daily fix, aren’t you?”

Drugs. She was talking about me being a drug supplier. Not just me, either, every black person that ever breathed. As if there hadn’t been thousands of cases where people of color had been framed or wrongfully killed because of suspicion. As if it were a joke she was allowed to make. The others gave a quiet laugh, looking for me to say if it was ok to find this humorous.

“You’re a comedian, right?” I asked.

“Yeah?”

“Then try saying something funny instead of the racist bullshit you’re always spewing.” Everyone got silent. “Just because I’m black I must be a drug dealer? That’s what you’re saying.”

She tried to backtrack, “N-no. It’s just that--”

I wasn’t going to let her, “I’ve dealt with you for three years, Winnie. I’m putting my foot down. Make a real joke for once instead of turning yourself into one. Let’s continue.” I looked at Carlos and put on a smile. “Yeah, so it was a lot of fun getting to interact with them. BTS are just a bunch of sweethearts. I’m lucky I got to interact with them.”

The main host cleared his throat, “Um, well, that’s...that’s good to hear (Y/N). We’re gonna take a quick commercial break and be back in just a moment.”

All eyes were now on me after CUT was called. Makeup artists started to approach the stage and do touchups for everyone.

Winnie was shocked, “What was that, (Y/N)? Couldn’t you just smile through it? You know how I joke.” She tried to be buddy buddy with me now.

“I do, and that wasn’t a joke. Well, not a good one at least. Good jokes are funny. Also, I’ve been smiling through your so-called jokes and dying inside for way too long. I’m done. If you can’t take it, then don’t try to dish it out.”

I held up my finger when my makeup artist redid my lips and smiled at him, “Thanks, Saeran.” I smacked my lips. My smile faded when looking Winnie right in her blue colored contacts. “If the next thing out of your mouth isn’t an apology, I don’t wanna hear it.”

“Alright, 30 seconds everyone!” The director called.

Everyone scrambled to their seats and she kept silent. I scoffed. Of course she wouldn’t apologize. She was too good for that, apparently. As the stream went on, there was more laughter and reading of questions. The games still went on. Once the last one was cleaned up, we could answer ten more questions and then say our goodbyes.

“Question #9 is for (Y/N). Will you ever make a video about the racism and ignorance you have faced in Korea, or is it small enough where it’s not worth talking about?”

“Awwww.” The others went sadly.

I know what I had to say, and I would mean every word of it, “Well, I think the earlier event that happens answers part of your question. I’ve been here a long time, and I’ve mentioned being the victim of ignorance many times. Less than the good times, but I still think it’s about time that it gets its own video. It’ll come sometime January, probably.” I smiled and laughed.

Everyone nodded and then the last question was being read, “Final one. Is there anything you really want for Christmas?”

James said, “A girlfriend would be nice.”

“I’d like to see my dogs back home in Canada.”

“A new look.” was Carlos’s reply.

I thought for a moment before saying, “World peace or a really long nap.”

Everyone smiled and laughed.

“Well, that’s it. Thank you all fo--”

“Actually. I wanna change mine.” Winnie said, surprising everyone.

Girl was about to do some shit, I could just feel it. I braced myself for another snide comment reeking of ego.

She turned to me, “I want (Y/N)’s forgiveness for Christmas.” She stood and bowed at my feet like a proper Korean.

I was shocked to say the least. Was this actually happening? Where was I supposed to look? I wasn’t exactly sure how to feel about this.

“(Y/N) I am sorry. I have been a complete jerk to you for no reason. Honestly, I don’t wanna be known for making cheap shots at you, so I apologize for every one I’ve made and I promise I won’t do it anymore.”

My mouth flapped open several times before I could say something, “Thanks for apologizing. I’ll have to see you actually do what you say before I can completely and honestly forgive you.”

What the fuuuuuuck? I got out of my seat and quickly went to the dressing room where I took off my Christmas suit. The two of us didn’t say anything else to each other than good nights when I left first and “Happy Holidays!” following after. I needed a drink. |

Good thing D had texted me earlier. She said we needed to celebrate me growing a spine. We got wine drunk at her place as people tweeted about the “Feud” between me and Winnie or whatever. When I got home the next day, there were a few boxes waiting for me. I opened them once I was inside.

It was the most beautiful snowy dress ever. Elsa could only dream of such a dress. It was forest green with white beading to make it look as though snowflakes had landed on the dress. Trying it on, it was perfect. How did he know what my sizes were? There was another two boxes. One had snow colored heels and the other had...a tiara! Oh my god!

I couldn’t believe it. I had to text him.

I twirled in the dress for a good hour before finally taking it off. Wow, ok, so I had to do my own makeup for this? I needed to step up my game. Internet beauty gurus here I come! Wait, I needed to eat first. | The day soon arrived where I got my makeup done by a store known for giving free makeovers. I tweaked it to be a bit more sparkly when I got home. We walked the red carpet which is something that I’ve done before but never with someone so popular and kind. It was beautiful inside where all sorts of idols danced and talked to one another.

It was a good time to just relax and chill with Hoseok. I was nervous, but his calming aura put me at ease. While talking people brought up my Winterview, and I stood my ground. A lot of people were proud of me. Hobi seemed to smile every time someone said they were glad I finally stood up to her. Apparently, a lot of people had kept silent about her sucky brand of “humor”

“So, is there anything you wanna do before the new year rings in?”

“I don’t think so. I just wanna enjoy my time with you today and not worry about the future for a little bit y’know?”

He smiled, “You’re so cute. I’m honestly really proud of what you did the other day. It makes me glad to see you speaking for yourself.”

I said thanks and asked if he wanted anything to do before the year was over. He said he wanted to do two things he had never done before. Those two things were 1. Beat Junkook in a round of Overwatch and 2. Do something very Christmassy

“Like what?”

“Drink eggnog, open presents in pajamas, Christmas karaoke, kisssomeoneunderthemistletoe. Y’know. Something like that.”

I blinked, “What was that last one?”

He blushed and no longer met my eyes, “I want to kiss someone under the mistletoe. I’ve always seen it in movies, but I’ve never done it myself. Not like I really could without getting angry fans in return.”

“Why not kiss one of the members. I’m sure the fans will find that cute.”

“Well, mostly because I wanna kiss someone I like in a romantic way or even love. Also, kissing them would just be fan service.

I scoffed, “As if you don’t kiss each other all the time. You’re Jung Hoseok.”

He laughed, “Ah, I guess you’re right, but there’s actually someone I had in mind.”

“Who?”

Hobi took a deep breath and leaned next to my ear, “You...if it’s ok.”

He came away from my ear to look me in the eyes. The question was obvious, but I still couldn’t believe he was actually asking me this. I bit my sparkling magenta lip and nodded. If I could kiss Jung Hoseok, it’d be a dream come true. Even better if I was helping him reach one of his goals as well.

A smile came over his face, “Really?”

“Yes. I would love to my your mistletoe kiss.”

Hoseok squeezed my hands tightly and then searched the skies for the mistletoe drone that was flying the plant to random areas. As the song came to a close, he gently waltzed me to be under it with him. The only problem was that other couples were trying to do the same as well. Fans weren’t allowed to be in here, so it wouldn’t go too viral unless someone mentioned it on social media.

No one usually talked about the balls until months later anyways.

So, when the music finally ended, it was me and J-Hope underneath the mistletoe. No, not J-Hope, Hoseok. This was him and not his public persona. He was the man who wanted me of all people to be his mistletoe kiss.

“Ready?”

I nodded even though I wasn’t sure if I was ready. I wanted this for sure, though. There was no doubt about that in my mind. Both of us closed our eyes, and he smooched my lips. His were so soft. His Christmas pine needle cologne was even stronger than before and pricked my nose. I smiled. It was more than just a peck as he held my face in his hands. My heart was on fire.

He hugged me afterwards, “Thank you.”

“No, thank you.” I replied, a bit breathless.

The two of us danced closer than ever, a new song having come on. It was a bit more upbeat than the previous waltz, but us two just swayed together in our own little world. Even though it had been a hard and stressful couple of weeks full of unexpected events and words from every which way, this had been the best and most unplanned thing.

Hobi bought a dress and crown that made me feel like a princess and then he kissed me underneath the mistletoe. Even if I was in rags, that kiss. Those few seconds would’ve made me feel like a princess anyways.

And with that kiss I knew or at least hoped that he wanted more. He wanted me. What a Merry Christmas it had been, and it wasn’t even over yet.

#BTS #Bangtan #Jung Hoseok #J-Hope #JHope #Hoseok x Reader #Reader x Hoseok #JHope x Reader #Reader x JHope #J-Hope x Reader #Reader x J-Hope #Black!Reader #Youtuber!Reader #Black!Youtuber #Story: Trivia: Holiday Dance #Story: Trivia Holiday Dance

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