#You'd let your son be beaten up in front of your eyes

[leconcombrerit]

Look I get the scorn some people have for Tattoo and I was not immune to a stern face of silent disappointment myself upon watching, however.

However.

Let's keep in mind that, for him, this whole ordeal gets him back to square one. The one where Hope was beating the shit out of him while threatening his mother. Joke's high principles and cool heist to get precious items back to their owners is nice, but you don't live off generosity. Jack is kind and closer to their situation, but he's not like them either. He can work for Boss. He's not in immediate physical danger.

What they did so far brings him nothing. And he bled for it. Got in danger for it.

Honestly I think this man wants to do good, but on impulse or his back against the wall he will do what he feels he must. And he feels his back is constantly against the wall, and he sees everyone judging him for what he thinks is the only way out, and boy did he get mad at Hoy for this.

He strikes me as the type who's used to take care of people. Of making the hard calls to keep them safe. Took on his father's debt with his mom, but shoulders it all on himself and protects her. Protects Hoy, too. I mean Tattoo is both dumb and smart but Hoy is. Well. He's got a good heart but he's not the sharpest egg in the attic. It was Tattoo running to help him too.

It's like everyone around him can afford high principles and moral highground but he can't. And that was probably true for most of his life, so I don't blame him. I just wished he realised he has other friends now. Friends who won't let him down (which I think is starting to finally sink in). That he can afford friends and trust. Open up a bit.

On that point, I think Joke going along with his obvious lies is such a great big deal. Like. That was the one thing he could do that would help Tattoo's issues here, namely with shame and feeling judged and wrong. Joke doesn't ask for any explanation. He doesn't take any easy jab. Doesn't get mad. It screams 'I understand, you do not need to justify yourself, I do not judge you, with no need to bare your heart and struggles', which. Might have brought a manly tear in my eye. Cause that's the opposite of what Tattoo has repeatedly said about Joke so far.

...... I don't even know where I'm going anymore, but I love this little man with all my heart. He wants to be a good person and a good friend too, he just hasn't realized he can afford it yet and I will die on this hill.

Also he's going to be so pissed when he falls for Arun, someone get me popcorn.

[abbysimsfun]

Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 61 (Conrad's Childhood Memories)

cw: parental death, terminal cancer

"Come on, Conrad, if it gets too late the snow won't be good for building snowmen anymore! Can you even hear me with those things on your ears?"

"You know I hear you fine when you're two feet away from me, Malcolm. I only need them until I'm big enough for surgery."

"Then let's go!"

"Just a second. I've almost beaten the high score."

"Isn't that the same high score you've been trying to beat for weeks?"

"I almost had it! Whoever this ButtercupNesbeets is, they're amazing at this game!"

"If you think they're so amazing, why don't you marry them?"

Conrad turned up his nose. "Ew, gross. We're ten!"

"Well if they're not important enough to marry, it's not important enough to beat their high score! Let's go!"

Conrad followed Malcolm to the street. They passed his parents, Nancy and Geoffrey, whispering about something. Conrad thought he heard them say his name, but he knew it was impolite to ask - especially since his father was employed as the head of billionaire Chester Landgraab's security team.

They took the elevator down over one-hundred stories. Older brick rowhouses still stood in the shadow of skyscrapers, like the luxury Spire Tower where Malcolm lived with his family.

The boys built their snowman, laughing and carefree as they caught fresh flakes of snow on their tongue. Malcolm didn't make friends easily - his name scared other kids away, and his snobbish demeanor didn't endear him to those who weren't intimidated by the Landgraabs. But Conrad was kind to everyone, and his father's job meant he couldn't avoid spending time with Malcolm.

He was always quick with a rude remark if he didn't get his way, but Conrad spent enough time with Malcolm to see the side that feared never measuring up to his family's expectations. The side that loved music as much as Conrad loved video games.

The boys stood proudly in front of their finished snowman, then shared mischievous grins before knocking it down.

Cold crystals of snow flew through the air, burning their cheeks, but they laughed harder than they had since the time they pranked Malcolm's Uncle Johnny with pink dye in his showerhead.

Conrad's father stood at the edge of the snowy sidewalk. "Boys, it's getting late! Time to head in!"

"You're home!" Conrad cried, racing to give his father a hug. "I thought you'd be in Tartosa with Mr. Landgraab until the end of the week!"

"I had better reason to come home," he said, but sad eyes betrayed his smile as they were joined by Conrad's mother. Her lavender-coloured hair was her signature - the thing that let her stand out in a sea of grey suits and pressed style in busy San Myshuno, but the expression on her face was sallow and defeated.

"Are you alright, Mrs. Gordon? You don't look so good."

Malcolm's innocent question tipped Conrad's parents over the edge and both let tears drip down their cheeks. Conrad had never seen his father cry, and it frightened him. Stephen Gordon was always so stoic.

"What's going on?"

"One of my guys will get you home, Malcolm, but it's time to come on home, son. Your mother and I want to talk to you about something."

That was the start of the worst conversation of Conrad's life. "Your mother has cancer," his father explained. "But the doctors are going to do everything they can to make her better."

Conrad's lip quivered. "What do you mean? Won't the doctors be able to fix her like they're gonna fix my ears?"

"They hope so, son."

Next to his father, Conrad's mother sat quietly, with a lost look in her eyes. She was never at a loss for words.

He put his arms around her and smiled. "You'll be alright, Mom. Dad and I will take care of you."

As if pulled from a trance Helena smiled for her son, returning his embrace with a soft smile. "I know you will," she said. "But you're just a kid. I'm supposed to be taking care of you."

Years passed. Conrad got his ears fixed, but he cared much less about his own health than his mother's. He and his father shuffled her to and from her appointments week after week, year after year.

They learned never to trust a good test result, because no matter what doctors did to help, she got sicker. When she lost her gorgeous lavender hair to chemotherapy, she cried for days, and Conrad grew angry. He hated seeing her put herself through so much pain only for her health to get worse.

He hated the world for putting her through hell. But his father begged him not to burden her with his resentment in her condition, so he spent the hours between her naps keeping her company in her room.

"There's this new mobile game I like to play when I finish my homework. I've almost got the high score but there's always this one user with the best score for so many games I play. I can never beat them. I don't know who they are, but I think maybe they're just some weird vegan who does nothing but play video games all day."

His mother tried to raise a smile. "What makes you say that?"

"Their name is ButtercupNesbeets - like the new meat substitute everyone keeps talking about from that small town that's really old - Henley-on-Bagford or something."

"Henford-on-Bagley. I went there once. Made friends with a red fox."

Helena held tighter to all her memories these days. She knew she was dying and would give almost anything to stop it, but there was no cure for what she had. Her treatments were beginning to break her, and Conrad and his father could both see it.

But she pulled herself together for her son's fifteenth birthday. Doctors said she was rallying, but she seemed healthier. Happier. Conrad begged himself not to get attached to the idea she was healing. He'd watched her get sicker for years.

But he basked in this period when she could get out of bed, laugh, smile, and even make a trip to the Copperdale Fair. Conrad's parents fell in love on the midway there, and they'd always talked about returning with their son.

Helena Gordon was determined to see through one final dream. She rode the old Ferris wheel and posed for photos with her husband and son. She'd avoided cameras ever since she'd lost her hair, but she wanted to capture this time in a bottle and let her husband and son carry it with them after she was gone.

Conrad would always remember the trip more fondly than any other memory of his parents, but Conrad's fifteenth birthday was the last his mother would ever see.

The men she left behind faced grief in different ways, but would always lean on each other in the years after her death. ->

<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 1 Summary | Gen 1 Start

NOTE: Writing this almost brought me to tears because I have fallen so hard for Conrad. His story is so tragic in so many ways, and I can't remember the last time I was this invested in the life of some pixels I was playing around with. He just intrigues me so much and I loved getting the chance to drop little Easter eggs about his future with the ButtercupNesbeets herself, and tiny dickhead Malcolm was fun to play with, too.

This isn't even all backstory there is to tell. Conrad and his dad, Stephen, will definitely be seen again in the past, but it will probably get a content warning, too, because a lot of their story is pain.

[legacyshenanigans]

Out of curiosity, how would Aleister have reacted to Ominis getting hurt if it HAD been one of his specific enemies? Like instead of being just a random attack, it being someone that wanted to get back at Aleister specifically by harming his son

(Granted he’s obviously not father of the year and not warm and fuzzy in the slightest 🤣 but it was a random thought!)

Very true, He's definitely not father of the year. Nor do I want him to be, he is what/who is his 🐍 But blood protects blood, and revenge is a must in his eyes.

An Alternative Ending to Ominis's Attack.

Ophelia sat on the sofa next to the fireplace in the living room, reading. She looked up when she heard footsteps coming from the hall, seeing Ominis had finally risen from his rest after being attacked.

Ominis carefully stepped into the living room, his face still swollen and beaten.

Ominis: Mother?

Ophelia stood, approaching him and helping him walk over to the sofa with her.

Ophelia: Oh my boy, how do you feel? I'm glad to see you out of bed.

Ominis: I'm in pain *he flinches, sitting down onto the sofa* But I'll live.

Ophelia: You stay there a moment, hang on.

She left the room. Ominis let out a sigh as he relaxed in front of the fire. Marvolo entered a moment after.

Marvolo: Ah, you're up. Are you alright?

Ominis: I will be.

Marvolo: We'll find out who did it..I promise you.

A small appreciative smile fell over Ominis's features.

Ominis: I don't want a fuss over this, though.

Marvolo: No fuss? Brother if you could see yourself right now.. Whoever did this to you will come out looking worse..

Ophelia entered once more carrying a bottle of Wiggenweld that Marvolo had made earlier, walking back over to sit next to Ominis, and placing it in his hand.

Ophelia: Drink up. It'll ease your pain.

While Ominis drank the potion, Marvolo sat on the sofa opposite of them. Looking at his mother, he spoke out.

Marvolo: Where's father? Is he still in his study? Should I let him know Ominis is awake?

Ophelia sat there for a moment, not speaking, as if she was thinking of what to say.

Marvolo: ...*narrows his eyes* Mother?

Ominis put down the now empty bottle, turning towards her.

Ophelia: ....He's not here.

Ominis: Well, where is he?

Marvolo: *intrigued, waiting with bated breath for her response*

Ophelia: ...He knows who's did it.

Marvolo: (?!) What? How? When?

Ophelia: He went ahead and looked into Ominis's memory of the event while he slept.

Ominis: What? He looked into my memories?!

Marvolo: That was one of the plans, after you woke.. We were going to talk with you first. To see what you knew.

Ominis: I have no idea who attacked me, but I did hear their voices, didn't recognise them though.

Ophelia: Your father did...

Marvolo: I thought we were waiting for Ominis to wake first?! *small frown*

Ophelia: He couldn't wait.. He had a feeling he knew who'd done it..And needed that confirmation. He was on edge.

Marvolo: *sigh* ....

Ominis: Who was it? The men who hurt me?

Ophelia: ....Old acquaintances of your father.. Men in which he had...Problems with... Recently.

Marvolo: Who?

Ophelia: Matters not who ... He's gone out.. To see them.

Ominis: .....

Marvolo: ...Alone?

A small smile curled onto Ophelias lips as she looked at Marvolo.

Ophelia: He will handle it. He knows what he's doing.

No sooner did those words leave her, the heavy front doors to Manor opened, the sound echoing out in hall. All three of them turned their heads towards the hall. A moment later, Aleister came into view from the dimly lit hallway, standing under the doorframe. There was an eerie silence for a moment or two. He stood there, emotionless as always, his hands behind his back. A shiny liquid could be seen on his suit from the flickering of the fireplace.. Blood.

Ophelia: Aleister?

He didn't speak. He walked into the room, and over to the side of the sofa where Ominis sat.

Aleister: I didn't think you'd be awake yet. *turns to Marvolo* And I didn't know you were home..

Ominis turned his head towards his father voice. Aleister gave him a simple and awkward pat on the head before turning to leave the room. Marvolo speaking out once more.

Marvolo: Is it done?

Aleister stopped in his tracks but didn't turn back to face them as he answered.

Aleister: Yes.

Before wandering back out into the hall and up the stairs. Ophelia sighed. Whispering to herself.

Ophelia: Good riddance..

Ominis: Did he.. Kill them?

Marvolo: From the blood on his suit..I assume so...Good... I only wish I could have been involved.

Ophelia: He didn't want you to be. It wasn't your fight.

Ominis: He seemed...Quiet and calm?

Ophelia: He'll need to gather his thoughts.. Do me a favour though, both of you?

Marvolo: What is it?

Ophelia: Leave it be now.. Don't bring it up..If he wants to discuss it, he will. If he doesn't, he won't. Don't question him, he did what he needed to do tonight.

~

[minniiaa]

Hehehe, I was hoping you'd like that idea though I don't think I ever saw your puppy Law post, I'll look for it at some point lol

As for the reason behind Law's sudden shift in affection… I didn't think about it until now. I woke up with a mission and nothing more! But now that you mention it, I have formulated a few of my own theories and also have chosen to take one of yours and run, sprint even.

I really like the idea of Law, who's been surrounded by death since he was barely double digits, suddenly gets hit with the weight of mortality. He never got the time for a grieving process, his parents and little sister died while he was trying to survive exactly what killed them and I doubt a 10 year old of any academic achievements could process that by himself. Cora died as soon as he was given a chance, a reason to hope again, Law was beaten and scorned at 13, he was tired but he couldn't bring himself to disrespect Corazone's last wish by allowing himself to die. He lived for years not for himself but for a man who risked it all for him, for parents who never got to see their son become a doctor, for a sick little sister who waited in a closet for her big brother, Law grew up living for anyone but himself because if he did he would find no reason behind it. So while he sits in a secluded corner of the hospital after that day's butcher's bill surpassed yesterday's, his mind slows down to try remembering some of those faces and names he couldn't save but for some ungodly reason all that comes to mind is Lami, Cora, his parents and suddenly the familiarity of death is no longer *just death*. Now it's a crooked smile that would need braces in a few years, grey hair, and that welcomed, looming figure behind him no longer being so tall, but none of that happened and Law, for the first time in 18 years, realizes he was robbed. Maybe it's a bit silly for a doctor to feel the weight of mortality at 28 years old, it's a feeling he needed though, that feeling sending him into an upward spiral quicker than he ever thought possible.

My own first thought, however, involved a play on the interaction between Law and Sengoku at the end of Dressrosa. Law's a surgeon known for having direct correlation with one of the most cruel crime families in the country, and while he has earned the legal trust of the police, one too many of them remember Law when he was that dickhead teen, so Sengoku tries saving as much face he can with his fellow officers by catching Law alone and briefly (Sengoku is holding back a lot) tries to bestow some grandpa wisdom onto him because his boy died for the one in front of him now. Sengoku wishes he could invite Law to his empty home for rice crackers and tea, or maybe coffee, Cora preferred coffee too. Law wants to know the man who raised the one who saved his life. Did Cora get his smile from Sengoku? They could both talk each other's ears off about one man but only Law gets answer before parting ways because above all else, Sengoku wanted Law to know that his son, his Rosinante, did not save him to fulfill a mission or some savior complex, he saved Law because he saw the life in a dying boy's eyes.

Second thought features, get this, living Cora!! I actually don't care much for angst, I want angst the way I want a bandaid on my arm. I know ripping it off is more beneficial but has anyone ever considered that I'm a little bitch? I digress though. Cora is fucking estatic when Law, very begrudgingly, admitted to be seeing someone. Sure Law has been in relationships before, however Law never let him know about said relationships until well AFTER they broke up, so to hear Law talk about his current partner at all automatically has him rooting in this mystery person's corner. The long awaited question finally can be asked, “When can I meet him?”. First of all, how did he know Luffy's a guy, Law hadn't said his name yet, second, never ever in the history of ever. He can't give up though, and Cora pushes Law to introduce him, saying he'll even wait a few months into the relationship so they don't feel rushed. Luffy and Law had been dating for AT LEAST a year at that point. Cora chooses to ignore that in the moment when Law breaks that news to him. Law is, honestly, a little flabbergasted by Cora’s investment in his love life, probably tries joking about showing Cora how to use tinder before it boils down and Law has to genuinely ask Cora why he's being so “weird” about Law's romantic life. Cora… Cora kinda just deadpan stares at Law out of complete shock at the realization that Law is being serious. With a tone akinned to one you would use when explaining to a child why Fido had to go to “the farm”, Cora absolutely dumps everything Law has done that's made him worry since learning of Law's romantic life. He recognized some of the names of Law's past partners, and he recognized them for a reason. It wouldn't have taken much from Cora to make Law realize just how stupid his question is, but Cora also wants Law to know just how special this person is for them to be having this conversation now. Law has always known how special Luffy is in comparison to his past relationships, but he's never had the right words to describe such facts, thanks to Cora of course.

Overall, the idea is that someone/something happens to make Law actually process his life/mindset which in turn makes him see clearly just how much Luffy has always meant to him. I dunno if I properly expressed just how little introspection Law has had to have done for him to break at 28 but my hands hurt from typing so I pass the baton to you in this relay race.

-💫💀💫

Yes, amazing anon! This is my personal favorite of the three (probably due to the expansion of my previous idea). I love your description of Law's relationship with mortality through the deaths of his parents, Cora, and Lami. How he doesn't realize until he's so much older and instead of making him feel downtrodden and even more sad, he almost feels relieved knowing that death is no longer looming behind him. Perhaps he's realizing his own mortality and knowledge that his life can be taken from him just as quickly as theirs. Now that this has finally clicked in his head (he knows it should have years ago he's a surgeon for fucks sake he watches people die everyday) he wants to live his life and love Luffy the way they both deserve to be loved because it could be over tomorrow.

This conversation with Sengoku is something I always wanted to incorporate into one of my stories and will probably do one day when I find the right one. I wish we knew more about Cora and Sengoku's relationship, they are both such fascinating characters and perhaps Law is understanding that Sengoku helped Cora grow some of his more admirable traits, like his desire to do the right thing and his ability to love so deeply. I firmly beleive Sengoku is a good man he just is not on the side of the story that we root for in One Piece and thus we see him as a villain but that's a topic for another day. But yes, the revelation of Cora saving him simply because he wanted to see Law live and be happy is something that can allow Law to truly move on. He's always been worried about making Cora proud and doing something with his life that is of value but maybe he realizes now that all Cora wanted for him was to be happy. Now he has someone in his life who makes him happier than anything in the world and it's high time he makes sure Luffy knows it.

Living Cora is the best and I used a conversation with him in one of my fics to help Law overcome his fears and tell Luffy he loves him so I am on board with this idea fully. Cora's totally invested in Law's love life, he wants him to be happy and knows that his little guy needs more love than even he can give him. He's been quietly watching from the sideline as Law dates and doesn't even tell him. He sees Law was in clearly unfulfilling relationships and he kept his mouth shut because he knows Law needs to experience life and that some people can't find their prince unless they kiss some frogs. However, now he sees the small changes in Law since he's been in this new relationship. He's less angry, he smiles more, he just overall seems more relaxed than Cora's ever seen him even if he is still the same uptight cranky Law. So he wants to meet Luffy not just to get to know him, but to thank him for finally being the person who can make his adopted son happy. As Cora explains how different Law is from Luffy and how he can just see how much he cares for him, Law sees it too. With a little encouragement from Cora about letting himself bask in the glow of this beautiful love he gets to experience and allow it to overtake him, Law finds himself seeing his point. There's no use in trying to hold back anymore, Luffy is already his and he knows more than anything Luffy just wants Law to give him every piece of him in return. So he does. Shout out to Cora for making Law's blockhead ass stop being so stubborn.

I think Law definitely needs SOME intervening person/event he's just a man so set in his ways whose mindset rarely gets changed. He cares about Luffy more than anything but he's never allowed himself to just let go and embrace what it really means to love and be loved. Once he does, there's no going back. :)

[kr-v]

01. Doggone Cowboy

Not Dead Yet

Would it be possible for a man's eyes to melt in their sockets and leak past his closed eyelids? You didn't know, but it sure felt like it, and pressing your palms into your eyes made no difference. You were back in the woods. But these were the wrong woods. These were not the ones you made your first snow angel in. That familiar place was far away and snow no longer felt the same.

The sky was darker than you had expected, and you would have marveled at it like a child once again had you had a grasp on your mind. Everything looked the same no matter which direction you looked and the lack of people would be the same no matter which way you chose.

The nights were cold. Though having nowhere to return to had softened the cold, rather than amplified it. As you curled in on yourself and pressed your back against the dirty walls of shallow caves, you felt like an animal. You figured that's all you were now. An animal with dirt stuck under your fingernails and an empty stomach.

Your grandfather would have been ashamed. Or maybe he'd be proud. You weren't sure anymore. Weren't sure it mattered, anyway. You were out, out for real and on your own terms, without somebody watching over and prodding at you. Without somebody coming in and rounding you up like livestock.

You'd never once looked back. Never faced in the direction of the charred black you had turned your back to some time ago. The darkness you saw as you faced the entrance of the cave had a softer embrace. And suddenly, from this darkness, a man came with a gun pointed straight at your skull. The irony of the hunting rifle was not lost on you. A few threats met with silence caused him to lower the weapon as a woman stuck her head over his shoulder and spoke into his ear, hushed.

The man had taken in your sorry appearance and shone his lantern over your form. His southern accent was slathered thickly over every baffled word he spoke, unusual for this part of the country. The thought of them likely coming from the states crossed your mind before it flipped back to more important matters, like the one that involved you sitting almost nude in front of his poor wife, blemishes all on display for her eyes to see.

Unexpectedly, an offer was made once a long period of silence in the darkness had passed. The couple's son's old room in exchange for your efforts, new title of farmhand and cowboy, and taming of the new horse they didn't have the strength to handle—strength they were sure you had plenty of. The type of strength difficult to ignore as you slowly rose to a stand in front of them. The offer, even if made out of pity, was too generous for someone like you. Some dirtied young man they had just met, hunched over himself in a cave like some wounded brute.

You had learned their names were Hank and Suzanne. They had labelled you an odd feller, and you had decided even that was far too generous of a title.

It was the next day, after they had brought you back to their property, that you had celebrated the accomplishment of taking your first proper bath in a foolish amount of years and realized your ability to feel embarrassment had not yet been beaten out of you. The speed at which the water rapidly began to shift into a colour that was the direct opposite of cleanliness was something you watched with a small twinge of shame in your gut and decided to take to the grave. Before then, you had been given shears that you knew were really meant for sheep to get rid of the matting mess that clung to your upper back. It was choppy and definitely not charming—fit you well—but relief had washed over, and how you looked had stopped mattering long before you did.

-

You quickly realized that liking Suzanne and Hank was not hard. They were kind, the both of them. They let you be without drowning you in questions and gave you shelter and food as long as you pulled your weight and tamed that godforsaken horse, a beautiful Friesian with a near-black, dark brown dapple coat. He had put up a fight as soon as you'd first approached him with a saddle and the intention to place it on his back. Nearly threw you off when you hopped onto him, but, thankfully, his panic knew an end and he had quickly let himself warm up to you.

You'd been given the right to name him, and, after thumbing through some old books you'd found lying around on the shelves of the room you'd been lent, Alfie was the name you chose. Had something to do with "Alfred," but you hadn't bothered to read any further once the name had been found, though you'd been grateful the ability still stuck with you, even at a rudimentary level, as you shut the book with a sigh. 

Farm work had welcomed itself back into your skillset like it never left. The lasso you now kept hanging from your belt had begun to feel comfortable in your grip and the saddle brought back faint memories of lighter saddles and caramel coats.

One particularly fine morning, Hank had called you over as soon as you'd stepped out of your room. He had poured fresh coffee into three mugs and patted your back with a strong hand once you'd sat down. Suzanne had placed down three little plates with a slice of fresh apple pie on each and you watched her spoon a generous glob of thick whipped cream onto each piece. You had sat there, awkward, and fidgeted with the loose threads in your work pants for a few moments as everything was set into place and the couple took their seats around the round wooden table. You'd done your best to adjust to your new and unusual living but, as grateful as you were, a 180 like this still hadn't come easy, even with the amount of time you'd been at the farm.

After some insisting from Suzanne that the pie was simply a kind gesture, you picked up the fork laid out next to your plate by its thick handle and pushed the prongs into your piece. The criss-cross crust had softened under the melting cream and the overflowing yellow apple bits speckled with cinnamon toppled over and out the sides of the slice. You'd been quiet, gently savouring the dessert, though you were sure your enjoyment was somehow shown on your face as the older couple glanced at each other over their newspapers and you saw Suzanne's eyes crinkle.

Halfway through your slice, Hank had paused in his daily routine of reading the newspaper and quietly informed you that a few men interested in something related to the farm would stop by later that day, and that you'd be needed to provide some muscle. Vague, but you weren't in the position to ask questions or make demands. You'd follow through with anything if it meant you'd have a roof over your head and clothing on your back.

You'd gone about your day as you had for the past couple months. You tended to the cattle, pushed away the blatant reminder of the role reversal as you rounded up any that had cut off from the rest of the herd, fed the animals, sat on your ass in exhaustion once given the chance, cleaned the stalls, and worked with the horse you'd been assigned. Your pattern had been interrupted by a small group of men approaching you as you began to lead Alfie back into the barn by the reins.

Hank had been first in line, followed by three men. His expression was grim and the light of the sun only deepened the shadows in his face. The crease between his eyebrows was harsh as the men had stepped out from behind him. One, who you could only assume to be the leader, moved closer to you, his voice stern as he spoke.

You had been spotted walking away from a crime scene, he told you. A murderer is what you were, and he said it so surely.

But he was lying. You didn't do anything wrong, and you told him so. You did what you had to, why were they so adamant on protecting him? Were you not the one who fell victim to man's cruelty? Sick churned in your stomach and you felt the strain in your brow when the man carried on with disgusted insistence. It wasn't clear if he really believed what he was saying or if he had another goal in mind. Not sure if that mattered when the result would be all the same for you.

Action came before thought when a hand lowered to a belt. Alfie had sped off as soon as the first shot rang out and you were in the saddle. The bounty poster fell to the ground and its yellow paper eagerly soaked up mud.

[grievedeeply]

the less time, the better. pt 2.

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pairing: heimdall × gn!reader

summary: ever since you had beaten him, the aesir god of foresight seems to be acting strange. you almost want to get to the bottom of it.

notes: this is a part two of this work, so i recommend reading that before this one! hope you all enjoy and thanks so much for all of the support on this so far!! contains a slightly out of character heimdall, only because he's still in shock on how reader beat him :") let me know if you want a part three!

you'd been staying in modi's old room. you remembered the day he died as clear as day in your mind. atreus— having just found out about his godhood— killing him, though he had already surrendered. he was weak. not worth killing, you heard your father's voice clearly in your mind as your gaze met the shield he once brandished sitting in the corner of his.. your, room.

you thought of your brother and father in moments like these, as you walked down the steps into odin's library. it was buried deep underneath his study, covered from wall to wall in books. atreus would love get his hands on all of them, and you resisted the urge to swipe a few. you needed him to trust you. stealing something, even something as meager as a book, wouldn't be a good look.

in the distance, you saw the familiar green glow of the crack. that's what you'd been calling it. you had no idea what it was, but odin insists he hears something reaching out to him from the other side of it. he believes the mask, the one attached to your hip as you continued into the library, contained a way for him to harness whatever it could be.

he was in a desperate search for answers. you knew it would be easy to manipulate someone in a state like that, but you also knew that this was odin you were dealing with, and it would never be that simple.

your feet hit the rock underneath you, and you made your way over to his desk. odin stood behind it, head turning up and eyes brightening as he saw you approach. "ah," he greeted you, maneuvering himself in front of you with open arms, "come, come." he set his hand on your shoulder, and you reminded yourself not to shrug it off as you did at the cabin on midgard.

that day felt so long ago. you pictured thor, how he dragged your father through the roof and into the sky with ease. you had to work with him previously, when you searched for the other mask piece. he didn't trust you, and he hurled insults at you often, but other than that, he wasn't the worst company, surprisingly. thor felt lonely. you knew his relationship with his family was.. rocky, even at it's best. you couldn't help but to feel a bit responsible for that, given the deaths of his sons.

you remembered magni and modi. you thought of them every day. though you hadn't been the one to strike the killing blow on either of them, all you did was stand by and watch. magni's death happened because of self defense.. but modi's? you pursed your lips. his was needless. unnecessary.

"how did you sleep?" odin's voice brought you out of your thoughts, and you tried not to shrug your shoulders. the truth was, you had missed your family. you missed your father, your brother— especially. you wondered what he was doing, now. did they miss you, too? "good," you said with a small smile. it was a lie, of course. sleeping in asgard was never something you'd get used to.

"good, good. i'm glad to hear it," he lifted his hand from your shoulder, his gaze turning towards the mask you held in your hands. "have you deciphered it?" he asked, leaning in as though he were interested in your words. you knew he didn't care about you. he only cared about where you could get him. you nodded. "sounds like.. helheim, maybe? or niflheim. can't exactly figure out if this says 'cry of cold breath' or 'cry of first breath.'" you told him, staring down at the mask that rested in your hands. it was almost embarrassing, how much time you'd spent on figuring out what it said. atreus would be much better for this than you, but you would hate him being here.

"then we try both." odin only shrugged his shoulders, "we have plenty of time. you'll figure it out when you're there, won't you?" a thin lipped smile appeared on his face, holding his hands together in front of him. "to helheim, yes?" you hummed a yes in response, letting out a sigh. you hated helheim.

"oh, and.. heimdall will be joining you." his voice cut through the silence of the room like it were butter, and you closed your eyes. "what a privilege." heimdall's voice rang out from behind you, and you felt his hands on your shoulders. you didn't shrug them off, knowing that if you did it would look poorly for you. they sat there for longer than you'd anticipated, and by the time they left odin's ravens were surrounding the two of you, sending you off to helheim.

odin crossed his arms over his chest, "oh, and you don't want to walk into the blistering cold of helheim without this. efri-lá. should keep you nice and toasty. you're welcome." with a flick of his wrist, he was gone, and all you could see were feathers. you felt heimdall's presence next to you, but you decided to pay him no mind. it would only feed into his already ginormous ego.

the birds disappeared, and you found yourself in helheim. the cold didn't bother you, and you were grateful for it. you remembered the last time you were in helheim with your father. it was horrible. not even because of the hel-walkers, but because of the freezing temperatures. you remembered mimir telling you that even odin couldn't survive the could. well.. he couldn't be right about everything.

"come on, already. stop standing around, will you?" heimdall's annoyed voice echoed around you. he stood in front of you, eyebrows narrowed. he was taller than you, but it was to expected from a god like he was. "right," you pursed your lips, pulling the mask off of your belt. you held it up in front of you, smiling when it finally lit up in a familiar green to let you know the correct direction.

you could only hope this was the right place. you didn't want to imagine heimdall's reaction to having his time wasted, and you didn't want to spend another minute with him even if you had to. the less time you spent around him, the better, you reminded yourself. he was insufferable, cocky, arrogant— everything your mother raised you not to be. you cleared your throat, "this way." you nodded your head in the direction the mask led you to.

it was awkward. you wouldn't deny that. the air was filled with more silence than there was with thor in muspelheim, and that was uncomfortable enough. you wondered why he was suddenly so quiet. he was talkative the last time you had seen him. then.. you remembered.

seeing him falling to the ground, the front of his shirt torn open by your sword. you could only assume that was the first time anyone has touched him in battle before. you couldn't help but to chuckle at the thought. was he so dependent on his abilities that he didn't know what to do without them?

"what are you laughing at?" he asked you, glancing over his shoulder to look at you coldly. "just thinking." you said in response, eyebrows raised. you could see him roll his eyes, and you did the same. he was entitled. a brat. you were glad you put him in his place then, and you would happily do the same now if it came to it. "do less of it," he continued, "focus on the mask." his voice came out softer than normal, and you could almost hear his shaky breath as he looked at the path in front of him.

you only nodded, lips pressed into a thin line. was he really that embarrassed by you beating him? he shouldn't be. he was still a formidable opponent, you were sure of that. he was just overconfident. unable to even fathom the possibility that someone could be immune to his foresight. he would have to accept it if he were to move forward. you said nothing else to him, pulling the mask out in front of you again.

"this way," you spoke up after a few minutes, climbing up onto a higher portion of the ground in the direction the mask was leading you to. heimdall still remained silent. it was unlike him, and you hardly even knew him.

you paused, turning around to face him. "alright, what's wrong with you?" you questioned, arms crossed over your chest as you looked into his eyes. he stopped in front of you with furrowed brows, shaking his head. "move." he said to you, jaw clenched. "nope. not until you tell me what's going on." you replied, shaking your head. your eyes didn't leave his, though his gaze wavered. he did look.. embarrassed.

"i said.. move." heimdall stated, hands moving to your shoulders to push you out of his way. he moved in front of you, continuing forwards. he didn't know where the mask was. he couldn't find it without you leading him towards it. "oh my gods, stop. stop being so.. so.. petty." you told him, taking a few quick steps to catch up to him. "it's fine that i beat you. grow up. get over it. stop sulking." you continued, blocking his path again. you didn't look away from him, though he continued to avoid your eyes.

"petty? really?" heimdall replied. "yeah. petty." you retorted, "i'm right. we have bigger things to focus on. besides, we're allies, right?" you asked him, an eyebrow raised. "unless me being a giant is too much for you." you added after a brief pause, and his head turned to look at you. "allies," he let out a dry, breathless laugh, "right." he muttered sarcastically.

you rolled your eyes, "you're mad that you got bested by a giant, aren't you?" you questioned, a proud smile forming on your lips. you'd be lying if beating heimdall wasn't something you weren't happy about, even if it meant nothing in the long run. you'd heard plenty of stories about the people who tried to lay a hand on him from mimir, and knowing that you were the first— and that you were a giant? it felt good. really good.

"the mask." he changed the subject, and all you could do was laugh. you turned your attention back to it, glancing around at your surroundings for the correct way to go.

heimdall only watched you as you did so. he knew this was out of character for him, but how else was he supposed to react to you? the last time he had seen you, you had beaten him with ease. he wasn't used to that. no one else ever had. he looked at you and it made his chest tighten. what was that feeling? he couldn't tell. it couldn't be anything more than embarrassment, right?

he thought of your father. he had yet to see the man himself, but he knew he was a danger. by association, you were too. though.. a part of him felt like you weren't. not to him, anyway. he knew better, though. he wouldn't let that thought process continue. he couldn't.

why were you so.. so frustrating? you would do anything to manipulate your way into getting exactly what you wanted— he knew that. he couldn't be wrong. he wouldn't be. how were you able to bother him so easily?

why was his heart beating so fast?

"we're close." your voice brought him out of his thoughts, and he nearly sighed in relief. the less time he spent around you, the better. "finally." he replied, his tone finally moving into something that sounded like normal.

he might've been faking it. you didn't care. as long as he focused on getting the mask back.. the less time you spent around him, the better.

you turned the corner, only to be met with what looked like a huge wolf. atreus would love this. "it isn't here." heimdall told you, and you glanced over at him. "why's that?" you asked, returning your eyes to the animal.

"because.." he let out an annoyed breath," that's garm. idiot." he murmured under his breath, a frustrated sigh escaping his lips. you clenched your jaw, turning on your heel to look at him. "how was i supposed to know that?" you asked, tone filled with exasperation. "everyone knows that, sweetheart." he chuckled, "come now. don't want to wake the thing, do we?"

sweetheart? who did he think he was? you closed your eyes, taking in a deep breath. you wanted to punch him, but you knew if you did it would only make you look poorly in front of odin. plus, he would never let it go.

"what's wrong with you?" you inquired, retracing your steps. you wanted to at least check if the mask piece was with the wolf, but arguing with him would get you nowhere, and make your trip more awkward than it needed to be.

"me?" he chuckled, shaking his head as he walked, a smirk on his features. "seriously?" he licked his lips, turning to face you, walking backwards. "you're the one who showed up here. with immunity to my abilities. what's wrong with you?" he replied, eyebrows furrowed, but the rest of his features formed a pout.

"oh, i don't know. maybe i'm just special." you shrugged your shoulders. "you have to get used to it. not my fault your stuff doesn't work on me." you said in response, your eyes meeting his.

why were they.. beautiful? you shook the thought out of your mind. thinking of him in that way.. it didn't make sense to you. all he had done was be a nuisance. a cocky, annoying one. his personality made his attractive looks diminish in your eyes. you looked at his features. he was quite pretty. it would be nicer if he was actually good company.

"you're strange. that's what you are." heimdall said. he was being honest. he did think of you as strange, but there was something more to you. something he wanted to unpack for himself.

the less time he spent around you, the better, he reminded himself. as curious as he was about you, he couldn't let it get in the way of his real responsibilities. protecting asgard was what mattered. you were a giant. nothing more.

"you can just admit you're embarrassed."

"i'm not embarrassed."

"sure you are. i saw how you walked off after i knocked you off your high horse." you told him nonchalantly. "my high horse? oh, please. you came into asgard as if you knew better than everyone else."

"as if you don't do that already. at least i don't think of myself the way you do. at least i'm not horribly annoying, ridiculous cocky.. but somehow self conscious." you put on a fake pout.

"i am far from self conscious." heimdall told you. "right." you replied, "keep thinking that way. that'll really get you places."

he rolled his eyes, and odin's ravens enveloped you once again.

your return to asgard had gone relatively smoothly. odin wasn't too disappointed with the fact that you had returned without the mask piece, but he was pleased with how the two of you had handled the situation with quick thinking. he referred to garm, of course. a part of you felt bad for it. sitting there in the cold. it was no life, but there was nothing you could do about it.

modi's room remained the same. it was uncomfortable sleeping there, but you didn't have much of a choice. you frequently ran into thrúd, thor's daughter. at first, she had threatened you— but she had dropped her blade and shook your hand, introducing herself as if nothing had happened. she looked to be about atreus' age, if not a little older. you thought of them being friends, but it seemed impossible given the circumstances.

as for heimdall, you had seen him in passing a few times, but you made no effort to talk to him. you didn't see a point. the less you talked to him, the better. though, you loved seeing his ego crumble whenever you were around him.

you pushed open the door to your room, adjusting your sword hilt as you walked up the stairs and into the mess hall. you would never get used to being surrounded by einherjar. you had fought them a countless number of times at this point. it was strange without them attacking you on sight. you pushed your way through them and out into the courtyard, making quick strides to the training grounds.

odin made it clear to you that all of asgard was welcome to you. all of it's resources, too. you'd take advantage of that. the einherjar would be there, but you knew of a spot that none of them seemed to use. you could only help but to wonder why that was.

you sat down your bag, a sigh escaping from your lips as you unsheathed your sword. there were plenty of things to hit, plenty of einherjar around the grounds to train with, but you decided to stay on your own. you needed to think. think about your family, your friends back at sindri's place, what the mask meant.. and why heimdall was acting so strange.

you swung your sword in front of you, twirling your weapon in your hand as you finished the move. what was his deal? you knew that you were part jötnar, and that the aesir hated the giants— whatever. everyone knew that. whatever his problem was.. it was more than that. every time he looked at you.. you couldn't tell, but something was off.

"well, well." a voice came from behind you. speak of the devil.. and he shall appear. you turned to look at him, eyebrows raised. "what now?" you asked without a moment's hesitation. "you have a problem with this, too?" you tilted your head, a gentle look in your eyes as you stared at him.

if you didn't know any better, you could've swore you saw his pale cheeks brighten up at your look.

heimdall cleared his throat, "you're in my area." you rolled your eyes. he always would find something to complain about. "you weren't here, so. looks like it's mine, now." you shrugged your shoulders, a nonchalant smirk on your lips as you gripped your sword.

his eyes flickered between your gaze and the weapon in your hand, and his jaw clenched. "hey, there's plenty of room. don't start being petty again." you chuckled, nodding your head to the space next to you. it mirrored the equipment that surrounded you. it shouldn't be a big deal to him. "fine." he spat, taking out his own sword. you wondered how long it had been since he actually had to use it.

you both fell silent, and you resumed training with your sword. unlike him, you actually needed to be good at wielding a weapon. you looked over at him. his eyebrows were furrowed, his hands tightened around the hilt of the sword he brandished.

"how did you do it?" heimdall asked you, his voice coming out gentler and more genuine than it ever had before. "do what?" you inquired back, deciding to play dumb to see if he would admit to you beating him.

"touch me." he replied, a defeated tone to his voice. you almost pitied him. you let out a sigh, "i don't know. just did." you told him after a brief pause, turning to face him. this was what has been bothering him so badly. you knew that much, but it was nice to hear him admit it.

you bit at the inside of your cheek, "come on, then. cheer up." you said, gesturing to him with your sword. "we'll train. it's what we're here for, right?"

he furrowed his eyebrows. what were you doing? were you trying to be friendly with him? he nodded. "fine." heimdall muttered under his breath, and you managed a smile. you turned, pulling out a few wooden swords from a barrel that sat behind you. you faced him, a playful look in your eyes.

he moved in front of you, and you took in a breath. this was almost exactly like the first time you had fought, but this.. this was different, somehow.

you dug your heel into the ground beneath you, not taking your eyes off of your opponent. he made the first swing, and you moved to your left to escape it. you took a quick step forwards, trying to catch him off guard with a quick jab— only for him to maneuver out of your way. "see?" you chuckled, "focus." you told him.

"shut up." he replied, a frustrated groan escaping his lips as he swung at you again. you ducked underneath his sword, swiping his legs out from underneath him with your own. he extended his free hand and brought you down on top of him, your sword flying out of your hand and across the dirt.

your hands rested on either side of his head, and— out of breath— you laughed. "guess we both need work, then." you admitted, your face flushed from the activity.

heimdall only stared at you, his mouth falling open as he looked up at you.

you.. you were unlike anyone else. you were gorgeous. he could admit that to himself. you were a giant, he found himself thinking over and over again. what was wrong with him? picturing you in that way.. it was something he wanted to go away. why wouldn't it? why were you so.. insufferable? his arms laid at his sides, and he could almost feel you sitting on top of his waist. he swallowed. what was he thinking?

"get off of me." he tried to collect himself, his hands moving to your shoulders to push you off. "calm down." you continued laughing, rolling your eyes at how seriously he seemed to take this.

without sparing another glance at you, heimdall turned on his heel, brushed off his clothes and walked away from you.

wherever he was going didn't matter to you. you shrugged your shoulders, picking up the sword you'd lost when you fell on him. you watched his back as he left.

this was familiar.

you laughed.

and he heard it.

he hated it. right?

tags: @graciegizmo3184 @anzanishira @chocokaylarobin @uncoveredsun @caelestis-lyrae @prio-motu @bluehorizon987 @freyrees @ieatmarbles @rohansregret @konigd1cks0ck @smilesdarling | join my taglist!!

if your name is crossed out in the taglist, it means it didn't work for some reason :( i tried but i couldn't get it to work unfortunately

[wintersxani]

𝙄 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙙𝙚𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙨𝙤 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙚 | Billy Hargrove x Gn!reader

Warning(s): Physical abuse, Abuse aftermath, mentions of physical abuse, injuries

Word Count: 836

Characters: Billy Hargrove, mentions of Neil Hargrove

Summary: You told Billy that he could escape to your house whenever he needed to get away, so he shows up one night, beaten and in need of your care.

A/N: #ihateneilwithaburningpassion #fuckneilhargrove

Three taps coming from your bedroom window startled you out of your trance as you looked frantically to see what the noise had come from.

It was late at night, and impossible to see outside since the sky was painted a dark black, splattered with little white dots. Leaves were crunching from the other side, before two more knocks came through.

Cautiously, you neared your white framed window, still unable to see anything. "Y/n- it's Billy." A voice came from the other side, making you jump slightly. The voice sounded to match up to the man you knew, so you twisted the lock, pushing the window upwards.

A small gasp escaped your lips as a beaten Billy Hargrove appeared from the other side of your window, looking utterly defeated and ashamed. You knew he didn't like for anyone to see him so vulnerable, but it made you so happy to know he entrusted you enough to take care of him.

You helped him through, gently closing the window behind him; The smell of a freshly smoked cigarette radiating off of him. It looked as though he was holding back tears, almost like he was at a breaking point. Your heart ached for the boy who put up a strong, asshole facade when deep down he was just a boy who wanted love, and for someone to understand.

"Hey- hey it's okay Billy, I'm here." You cooed to the boy who was sitting on the edge of the bed. Your arms were wrapped around him, although one held his head to your chest. You could feel a stray tear fall onto your arm which only made your heart shatter more.

"Do you want to talk about it?" You asked quietly, running your hand slowly up and down his arm for reassurance. His response was a shake of his head, and you didn't press any further. If he didn't want to talk about it, you'd leave it alone. He hated when people would pry.

You removed your grasp from him, crouching down in front of him to place your hands on his knee caps, looking into his eyes; but his eyes couldn't meet yours. "Billy, I'm going to go get some stuff for this, okay?" You motioned to his knuckles, which you'd assumed he'd injured by punching his walls after his father would harm him.

As you made your way to the bathroom, you remembered when he'd told you about how he'd blast his Metallica, proceeding to punch his walls until his knuckles were bloody, unable to take out his anger any other way. It was all because of his father, Neil, who'd take his frustration and issues out on his own son. Your heart broke for the boy then and there, and that's when you told him he could always come over whenever he needed to escape, that your window would be open for the boy.

Re-entering your room, you sit beside the boy, pushing his golden locks to the side, applying some rubbing alcohol to a small cotton pad, wiping away the blood residue on Billy's cheek, where Neil undoubtedly socked him in the face.

Billy hardly had a reaction to the sting, by now he had almost gotten used to it. He would let Max sometimes take care of him, but after meeting you, he wouldn't let anyone but you or himself take care of him. He trusted you more than he'd trusted anyone in his life. You gave the same feeling that he had when he was with his mother, and that was what made him eventually cave into letting himself be vulnerable with you.

You were vulnerable with him, too, which made him feel so much better. He offered a small smile after you placed the band-aid across his cheek, grabbing one hand gently afterwards.

"I really appreciate the shit you do for me, y/n. I don't deserve you being so good to me." He said with a hint of devastation, breaking the eye contact you had once been sharing. "Billy, don't tell yourself that, okay? You deserve love, and you deserve people being good to you, taking care of you." You honestly said, noticing he wouldn't look at you as you spoke while you tended to his bruised knuckles.

"Hey, look at me Hargrove." You said, gently grabbing the boys chin to face you. "I know you're scared to open up to people. I was too, until I met you. But I'm listening, and I always will be, okay? I'm always gonna be here for you Billy." You said, keeping your eyes locked on his.

A broken smile crossed his face as two more tears fell down his cheeks, grabbing a hold of your hands. You had finished cleaning and bandaging what you could on his hands, putting everything back.

You had allowed him to sleep in the room with you as usual, until he would decide to go back home in the early morning, making sure to always thank you softly before passing out next to you in your bed.

-

➺ Masterlist | 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

[babymetaldoll]

DIWK - Chapter ten: "Set me free my honey bee"

Word count: 11,6K

Summary: Let's jump 19 months in time and see how painful it has turned for reader and Spencer to hide their feelings for each other. JJ leaves the team, and a new member joins the BAU.

Warnings: Angst and hurt. Fools being assholes. Cursing, of course. Mention of CM cases and spoilers on S06E11.

A/N: Please don't hate me. Just remember things usually look like the shit before they get worst, and then everything is better. I hope.

Masterlist

Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three | Chapter four | Chapter five | Chapter six | Chapter seven | Chapter eight | Chapter nine | Chapter ten | Chapter eleven | Chapter twelve | Chapter thirteen | Chapter fourteen | Chapter fifteen |

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(Y/N)'s point of view

Time is a weird thing. I remember when I was in school and time didn't pass fast enough. Semesters were eternal. It felt it had been years by the time summer vacation arrived. The complete opposite happened to me at the BAU. Suddenly, time passed too quickly. A whole year and a half went by in the blink of an eye.

I told Spencer about it, and he sent me a paper published by Professor Adrian Bejan that presented an argument based on the physics of neural signal processing. He hypothesizes that, over time, the rate at which we process visual information slows down, and this is what makes time 'speed up' as we grow older.

My answer was that I thought it happened 'cos as we grew older, we did things that actually gave us joy, which made us feel the time was passing faster than before. So we argued a whole Saturday afternoon about it and created our own theories for that event.

My theory was my personal favorite, 'cos it was the only one that could easily explain why so much time had passed in the BAU, and it felt like it had been just a few weeks.

It hadn't been easy, though. Those nineteen months had been filled with some of the worst situations we had been through as a team.

After I got shot, JJ finally admitted her relationship with Will and got pregnant. That was shocking, the first BAU baby: Henry.

Sadly, Henry was the only little good thing that happened that year. Because to sum it up, a bunch of awful shit happened to all of us: Hotch was in a car explosion that almost killed him. Spencer and Prentiss got trapped in an undercover mission into an underground cult to investigate child abuse, and Emily was beaten up pretty badly. Also, Spencer got infected with anthrax and nearly died. That was probably the most agonizing moment I had lived since the whole Tobias Hankel situation two years earlier.

Also, that year Prentiss had to investigate the case of the death of one of her best friends, and I was in a pretty nasty fight with an unsub that got me out of the field for three weeks. Not to mention, Spencer was shot in the leg.

Hotch was stabbed by the only unsub that has actually won against the BAU: Foyet. He attacked Aaron and got on the lose for months, but we all knew his next move as torture Hotch's family. That's why his ex-wife Haley and his little son Jack had to go into protective custody, and he couldn't see them for months while we tried to catch Foyet.

Things didn't go as planned. And without a doubt, the worst moment that year was the day Haley died. Foyet killed her, and Aaron lost it. He literally killed him with his bare hands the moment he got him. For a solid week, I was sure Aaron Hotchner wouldn't be the unit chief anymore. Strauss actually opened an investigation related to everything that happened that day. But in the end, somehow, she understood the "bloodbath" that had happened in that house was all in Foyet's hands.

However, there's no way to deny that the whole team had changed in many ways after that year. The concept of being a family was now more present than ever. After chasing Foyet for months, we were all onto him as if he was chasing our own family, because he was.

You don't work this kind of job with a team like mine and don't get attached to them. And this goes beyond how in love I was with Spencer. The (Y/N) who first stepped into the BAU, scared to show her true self, was long gone. And despite my deepest fears, letting them in and showing them who I really was had been one of the smartest decisions I have ever made.

Do you want to know which was my stupidest decision? Falling in love with Spencer Reid. It hadn't actually been my choice. I just didn't fight the feeling either. I don't think I could have even if I tried, though. Those nineteen months brought us so close, my mom thought we were living together, and the teasing from our friends was so common we weren't even affected by it.

For Christ Sakes, even Strauss thought we were dating! She forced us to attend a seminar on fraternization, concerned after she realized we always took our vacation together. We had a lot of fun trips, though. First, we visited his mom and had an amazing weekend in Las Vegas. Then we took a few days off after the anthrax incident and went to Hawaii. Picture Spencer Reid in an "all-inclusive," drinking all the coffee and eating all the pastries possible while reading a million books underneath an extra-large umbrella. We had fun that week, did some local touring, but most of all, sleeping in and relaxing. Spencer hates the beach but got those tickets anyway.

Did everybody think we were a couple? Yes

Did it help that we shared rooms, 'cos we were already used to it? No

Did it feel like a honeymoon without sex? Yes

Could I stop thinking about sex with Spencer? No.

And all that led us to the nightmare our relationship was going to become.

Penelope Garcia was drunk. She kept pouring shots and pushing them to us. Emily was wasted as well. But she kept acting like the classy lady she is. Not like JJ. My poor baby had mascara smeared under her eyes after crying for like an hour.

We found out she was leaving the team, and it was a hard blow on us. And by hard, I mean the worst thing that had ever happened to us. We had suffered without JJ when she was on maternity leave. And we struggled without her. Now knowing the Pentagon had taken her away from the BAU was torture.

We had a goodbye party for her at Rossi's, but this was our goodbye girl's night, and neither of us was holding anything back.

We had cried, we had sung sad songs. We drank all the champagne, wine, and vodka we could find. And now, holding our tequila shots, we knew it was time to call it a night.

- "I just love you girls so much,"- JJ whispered, crying- I don't wanna work without you.

- "Boo, come here!!"- I opened my arms and wrapped them around my friend, kissing the top of her hair a few times- "I love you too, and you are going to come back so soon you won't have time to miss us. You'll see. Papa Rossi and Dada Hotch are gonna fix everything."

I was drunk. Seriously drunk. But that wasn't the reason why I was so sweet with JJ. The truth is, I was broken-hearted. Like Penelope and Reid, I didn't manage change very well, and the fact that JJ was forced to leave made me feel frustrated and mad. But most of all, it made me think of every time I had been a little bitch with her during the years. And I regretted each one of them.

- "And we won't be far!"- Emily added and caressed JJ's arm, smiling kindly- "You will still be in town, and we will not leave you alone"- JJ chuckled and nodded.

- "I know, girls. Shit, I love you all so much!"

- "We love you too!"- Penelope sobbed and moved closer, wrapping the three of us in her arms.

- "Please, take care!"- JJ wiped off the tears from her eyes and looked at us- "Emily, don't do anything stupid! Don't rush in the field, and please don't take your fucking vest off!!"

- "I won't! I promise!"

- "You have to live to be Unit chief one day!"- JJ added, and Prentiss widened her eyes, shocked.

- "That's not really my gold."

- "But you'd be queen, baby!!"- Jareau added and turned to Penelope- "And you, please make sure Hotch eats. I kept a stack of granola bars on my desk to keep him fueled during the day. He usually forgets lunchtime and skips dinner, so..."

- "Don't worry, JJ,"- Penelope nodded, and we all felt our heartbreak a little thinking about all the things JJ did in her daily basics to take care of the team, and we didn't even know.

- "How are we going to survive without you?"- I mumbled, pouting. JJ chuckled and held my hand.

- "You are a rock, and you will do a fantastic job keeping this team together. Just, please, can you and Spencer start dating now?"

I wide opened my eyes and stared at JJ. The comment surprised me. I shouldn't, 'cos the whole "you and Spencer should start dating" joke was getting old. Only this time, JJ wasn't joking. She held both my hands and looked right into my eyes.

- "(Y/N), he loves you"- I was about to argue with her, but she covered my mouth with her Cheetos smelling hand.

- "Don't say a word! Spencer loves you so much you really must be blind not to see it. And I know you love him too. It's implied in all the little things you do for him every day. So don't take it for granted. Don't think this will last forever 'cos look at me! A week ago, I was happily working at the BAU, and now I'm drinking at my goodbye party! So don't waste any more time! You are in love with Spencer, and he loves you! It doesn't take a profiler to see it. So please! Act on it!"

There was a dramatic silence after. I didn't know how to break it. I could just joke around, but somehow, it didn't feel right. It had been too quiet for too long, and that made everything harder to deny. Finally, Emily put her hand on mine, just like JJ was still doing, and smiled at me.

- "There's nothing to be ashamed of, (Y/N). You are not the first person to fall for her best friend."

- "And the Junior G Man loves you so much,"- Penelope added, landing her hand on our hands too.

- "As his friend"- I corrected and sighed. I guess that was it. After three years, I could probably start facing my feelings in front of my friends.

- "No, (Y/N)"- Garcia tried to argue, but I shook my head and stood up, 'cos all that sudden attention and affection was bothering me.

- "PG, I was in Hawaii with the man, sharing a room, walking around in a bikini, and he didn't do anything."

- "That's because he is shy!"- Emily excused him right away.

- "My bikini leaves pretty much nothing to the imagination. Do you know what he said when he first saw me on it?"- I looked at my friend and poured us another round of tequila- "And I quote, "I don't think I brought enough books. This one is too interesting."

I air quoted with my fingers as we spoke, and the three of them looked at me, speechless. I made my point and drank my shot, feeling the alcohol burning down my throat. My friends opened their mouths but didn't produce a word. I sighed and looked at them.

- "But he hates the beach, and he took you there anyway,"- Emily pointed out

- "Did he give you his speech about how he hates sandy food?"- JJ asked me, and I chuckled, nodding.

- "And about pink skin, limited and unengaging topography, and of course, the real reason he hates the beach: drug-resistant bacteria spread by seagull feces."

- "And the man took you to the beach!"- Penelope argued.

- "But he didn't do anything! he didn't make his move, didn't even hold my hand!!"- I nearly shouted- "That's why, among a lot of reasons, is how I know Spencer is not interested in me! If only I'd tell you all the shit we've been through!"

- "Please!! Tell us!!"- Garcia begged and grabbed one of my legs- "I won't live another day 'cos I won't be able to deal with the mystery!"

- "No! 'cos you are gonna tell Morgan"- I slurred- "And he is going to embarrass and tease my honey bunny, and my honey bunny is gonna get all nervous and nervous around me, and we are never going to..."- I stopped talking and looked at my friends. I was sharing too much.

- "(Y/N)?"- Prentiss looked at me, but I just shook my head and looked down.

- "I think I better go home."

- "No, you can't drive like this,"- JJ argued immediately and held my hand- "I'm not gonna let you go intoxicated. Will is gonna come pick me up, and we'll drop you in your place."

I nodded at her and stayed still. My friends smiled at me, and slowly very slowly, I leaned on JJ's shoulder and rested my head on it.

- "I love you, boo,"- I whispered, and she giggled- "I don't think I'll stay sane without you there with us anymore."

- "Hotch is gonna manage to get her back,"- Penelope assured me, and I just nodded.

- "Meanwhile, we won't replace you, and if anyone tries to push someone new into the team, we are not gonna take them,"- I added, feeling JJ's hand holding mine.

- "Don't be mean with people just 'cos you miss me. If there's a new teammate, it won't be their fault I was pushed out of the BAU."

- "But, JJ,"- I tried to argue, but she shook her head right away.

- "No, (Y/N). You can't be mean to people just because."

Clearly, my friend hoped I could be the better person. The simple question was: did I want to be the better person? Right there, drunk and sad, the answer was no.

Spencer's point of view

I kept finding myself awake at four in the morning, walking around my apartment, not able to read or to write anything. For the last months, at least twice or three times each week, I would stay awake, no matter how tired I felt, and I would haunt my own apartment, listening to my vinyl records.

The sudden lack of sleep wasn't really something weird in me. I have always been nocturnal. Besides, the news of JJ's departure had hit us all pretty hard. I had already shared my share of tears and tried to manage the fury that caused me to know we were helpless to the government's decisions. There was nothing we could do, neither us, Hotch, or even Strauss. Not that she would if she could.

My family was in crisis, and all we could do was hope for the best and stay together.

It was scary losing JJ. It made me think of all the things that could go wrong every day on the field daily. It was bad that we could get hurt or even die on our work. But that they divided us that way made no sense. Like Rossi said: our loss was someone else's winning, and in the FBI, no one cared if we lost.

I poured myself a cup of herbal tea and inhaled the smell of it. It smelled like home. Like (Y/N). She had some of her favorite teas in my apartment. She had a bunch of all her things there, actually. When mom visited, she thought we were living together. She is still sure we are dating and that I don't wanna tell her. I don't longer argue with her about it. It's useless, and it somehow feels good to imagine in another world. It was actually true.

That year my feelings for my best friend had grown in a way that made it all more difficult to deal with. I didn't just love her. I was in love with her. She was in everything I did, in each and every one of my thoughts. I could hear her laughter in my head, like a record playing my favorite song over and over again.

When she was out there in the field, I couldn't stop running all the probabilities of her getting hurt, and most of the time, I would do my best to keep her safe, knowing it could somehow interfere with the case.

Hotch had called me to his office a few times, aware something was going with me. He could read it on my face, I guess. It was scary to know everybody could read my feelings for (Y/N) but her. And it was sad to think of the worst: that she knew how much I loved her, but she didn't feel the same, and she was just being my friend 'cos she was never going to be anything else but my friend.

I drank my tea and hummed the song that sounded in my house at four in the morning: Love is a losing game. Seemed pretty accurate for my mood. I remember the day I got that vinyl. We were out with (Y/N), Frank, and Lu, looking for a present for Mikey's birthday, and we ended up in a record store, getting a million vinyl records for ourselves.

- "Are you getting all those?"- (Y/N) asked me and looked at the seven albums in my hand.

- "Yes, why? I can't?"- I answered and raised an eyebrow.

- "Sassy!"- she giggled and grabbed them- "You can get all the albums you want. But I have to give my approval first. No, you are not getting this!"- she grabbed The Beatles' Revolver and left it aside.

- "What? Why? It's only one I need to complete my collection."

- "I know, but when you get it, you'll force me to listen to it, and I don't like the Beatles,"- she argued, and I just shook my head, taking the album again.

- "Sorry, chipmunk, I'm buying it."

- "Fine. I won't go to your house for the next couple of weeks then."

- "Why don't you tell me which album you wanna listen to when you are in my house then?"- I looked at her, smiling at me and looking for a record on the shelves.

- "This! You need some Amy in your life."

And I did. Now, at four in the morning, all alone walking around, I could see her in my apartment, singing along to her favorite songs while cooking dinner, feeling at home. I wished she was there, with me, doing nothing. Watching tv, or reading. Just hanging out. I knew it wasn't healthy being in love with my friend, seeing her every day, and also hanging out with her every chance I got. But even when I knew she was never going to love me the way I did, I was going to take every chance I had to enjoy her company. If that was all I was going to get.

My phone took me from my thoughts, and I quickly walked to my room to get it. I thought it was Hotch announcing a case, but it was JJ.

- "Hey! JJ, everything ok? Is Henry ok?"

- "Yes, hi Spence. We are all ok."

- "It's four in the morning."

- "Sorry I woke you up... I just..." - she made a pause and sighed at the other side of the line- "Spencer, you know I love you."

- "I love you too. You are one of my best friends. Is everything ok?"

- "Yes, I just wanted to... remember a bunch of years ago, when you asked me to that football game?"

A million years had passed since the one and only time I had asked JJ out. It was the only move I tried to do on her, and I failed incredibly. It was awkward, and she had no idea it was a date, so she invited Garcia to come along. I was so embarrassed I never even mentioned that single event ever again, and our friendship grew after.

- "Yes, I remember, JJ. Why?"

- "When you asked me out, did you have a crush on me?"

- "JJ, are you drunk?"- I had to ask 'cos that conversation was starting to scare me.

- "Yes, but that's not why I'm talking about this. Just answer the questions, Spence. When you asked me out on that date, did you have a crush on me?"

- "Yes, I did."

I closed my eyes, embarrassed to face feelings that were far forgotten.

- "You see, I had a crush on you too back then,"- JJ said and chuckled- "But neither of us acted on it, and life continued, and now I'm in love with Will, and we have a baby, and you are his godfather."

Of all the things I thought I would listen to that day, never in a million years, I imagined I would hear JJ drunk telling me she had a crush on me when we first met.

- "Now, do you want that to happen again?"- she asked, and I didn't get it, 'cos I was still trying to process what I had just heard. So I might have had a relationship with her if only I had said something, act on it. Kiss her, ask her out again?

- "What?"

- "Spence. Do you want to miss the chance to be with the girl you like?"

- "No, but JJ, what are you talking about?"

She sighed, frustrated, and used that tone of voice with me, that very maternal specific tone of voice she used to explain things she knew were hard for me to follow.

- "When you like someone, Spence, you have to tell her. 'Cos sometimes, life gets in the way, and if you don't do what you have to do to be happy, no one will do it for you."

- "Are you ok, JJ?"

- "Yes, Spence, I'm ok. I'm home with Will. We just got here after dropping (Y/N) off her place."

- "How was she?"

- "She might have had a few too many drinks, but she'll be ok in the morning. Maybe she'd appreciate it if you brought her coffee and donuts."

- "She doesn't like donuts,"- I corrected her- "She likes cupcakes and brownies."

- "Sorry. Coffee and cupcakes... just tell her you love her, Spence. She deserves to know."

I held my breath and closed my eyes. I didn't get why JJ was telling me that, but I knew I didn't want to talk about it. So I said good night and hung up.

What was the point of telling me we could have been a couple of years had passed already? Why didn't she say a thing before? Or even better, why didn't she ever say a word about it at all? So I missed the chance to be happy with her. Great. One more regret to add to my list.

I laid on my bed and tried to remember that date. I was so nervous that day, my hands shook inside my pockets as I walked to JJ's door. She looked beautiful that day, especially when she looked at me and announced she had invited Penelope to join us.

That was when I realized she would never see me as a proper date, just like a friend. And I learned to make my peace with that over the years. My crush for JJ lasted a few more months, but it vanished when I fell for (Y/N). What if she had never joined the team? Would I have been in love with JJ forever? Jeniffer always made me feel like her little brother, and I guess that's the mechanic that works for us. We were good friends ever since we met, and yes, I had a crush on her, but we work more like siblings than anything else.

What was the point in telling me I had missed a chance with her now? I just couldn't see it.

(Y/N)'s point of view

The next few weeks were us trying to survive without JJ. The team was making the best it could, but it was hard. Penelope took the lead during the second case without JJ. She turned into our tech analyst and communication liaison, only to collapse under the pressure of having two roles.

No one was going to replace JJ. We all knew it. Literally, no one, 'cos Hotch decided he and Garcia were going to split the job, and we were all going to collaborate as much as we could, 'cos we were a team. A family. And that's what families do.

And families were the target of the unsub we were hunting the day everything changed. Again. I hadn't recovered from the departure of JJ when Rossi and Hotch walked to the bullpen and introduced us to Agent Trainee Ashley Seaver.

My nemesis.

- "Agent trainee Seaver"- Rossi smiled at her like a proud father and looked at us as we stood up, wondering who she was- "Supervisory Special Agent Prentiss, (Y/L/N), and Morgan."

- "I've heard so much about the three of you,"- she said with the sweetest tone of voice I had ever heard. Something about that felt odd.

- "I hope it is all good- Morgan flirted right away, of course."

- "Very, sir."

- "Anything specific? I mean about me in particular?"- I turned to him and failed in holding back my chuckles.

- "Please, don't encourage him, or he will never stop talking,"- I said, and Derek elbowed me playfully. Seaver smiled at us and even blushed a little bit. She was nervous.

- "Agent Seaver is on loan to us from the academy while she is remedial training with an injury."

Hotch announced. And my stomach tightened right away. There was something wrong with that whole scene. I could feel it in my guts. But I didn't know why?

- "Concussion. Hand to hand got a little out of control."- Seaver explained and kept a silly smile on her face.

- "How's the other guy?"- Prentiss asked.

- "Don't ask."

- "I was remediated in the academy also,"- Spencer said, walking over us, and suddenly I understood why I had a bad feeling about everything.

- "Agent Seaver, Dr. Reid."

As soon as I heard Rossi say those words, there was a part of me who just wanted to hold Spencer's hand and push him away from her, even before they could say hi. She looked at him like he was eye candy, and I clenched my knuckles as I stared at the scene.

- "Uhm... What was your issue?"- she asked him, and I could see the pink on her cheek intensifying as he looked at her, confused.

- "What was my issue? Marksmanship, physical training, obstacle course, Hogan's alley. You know, pretty much everything that wasn't technically book related. They ultimately had to make exceptions to allow me into the field."

Seaver stared at him and kept nodding, though I wondered if she was listening to what he had said. Spencer looked exceedingly handsome that day. His hair was very short for the first time in years, and he still had no idea how to comb it, so it was all over the place, making him look as hot as fuck.

I was so in love with him, I didn't know what to do with those feelings at all. It was hard working with Reid at that point. I just wanted to kiss him.

- "Agent Seaver's going to accompany us to New Mexico,"- Aaron announced, and I couldn't help but question him right away.

- "She is?"

- "As a consultant."- he assured me.

- "On?"- Morgan raised an eyebrow and looked at Hotch, wondering what a trainee agent could help us with as a consultant.

- "She has a unique perspective,"- Rossi tried to explain, but it sounded like bullshit.

- "They don't know?"- Seaver turned to the elderly agents, and they shook their heads.

- "Well, we weren't sure how you wanted to,"- David whispered.

- "Uh... Seaver's not my original last name. It's my mother's maiden name. Mine used to be Beauchamp. My father is Charles Beauchamp"- Ashley was supposed to explain the circumstances of her consultancy to the whole team, but she just looked at Spencer as she spoke.

- "As in the Redmond ripper, Charles Beauchamp?"- he asked her, and suddenly, it clicked. It was like my whole body was telling me I couldn't be close to her for a reason.

- "That's him,"- she whispered and kept her eyes on my best friend as he continued talking.

- "He killed 25 women over 10 years in rural North Dakota. I think that you caught him, right, Rossi?"- and David nodded.

- "Hotch was on that team, too."

- "Based on her life experience, we were hoping that agent Seaver might recognize something in the family dynamics inside the community that could be helpful. We have a plane waiting,"- Hotch announced and looked at us, but none of us said a word.

I kept my eyes glued at my feet the whole time Aaron talked. Then, Spencer nodded and walked with Seaver and Rossi out to the hangar. I couldn't even blink. I think I was in shock.

- "Her father was a serial killer?"- Prentiss asked Hotch, not getting what he was thinking.

- "That's definitely a different set of parameters,"- Morgan added. Neither of them was sold on the idea, which made me feel a little bit better.

- "I don't want her presence to get us sidetracked. It's a long shot that she's gonna see anything helpful. We work it like any other case,"- Hotch was clear, and Prentiss and Morgan nodded.

- "You got it."

But I disagreed with that.

- "(Y/N), is everything ok?"- Aaron asked me, and I tried my best to lie and be cool.

- "Yeah, I'm ok."

- "Ok. We work this like any other case. Wheels up in twenty."

But everything was far from being ok.

I sat next to Spencer on the jet, and we reviewed the case files together. Hotch briefed us, and we all pretended it wasn't weird having Seaver there. And I guess we had to pretend it wasn't odd knowing her dad was a serial killer.

- "You are very young, (Y/N),"- she said and smiled at me. She was sitting across from Spencer and me, and you could tell she had been trying to join the conversation for a few minutes now.

-" Twenty eight,"- I answered and looked at the files again.

- "And you, doctor?"

- "You can call me Reid. I'm twenty eight too,"- Spencer cut her a short, awkward, and nervous smile, and I turned to him.

- "Honey, did I leave my Mets jersey at your house?"- it was the only question that came to my mind at that minute. It was completely random, but somehow it showed a part of our dynamic that Ashley didn't know. Our friendship. Our closeness.

- "Yes, I found it last night,"- he answered and sipped his coffee- "I was gonna bring it over, but then I remembered you always borrow all my sweaters when you are home or when you stay over, so I thought maybe it was a good idea to keep it at my place."

- "I don't know, Batsy. It's my favorite sweatshirt- I raised an eyebrow, and I'm pretty sure I even flirted a little bit."

- "So? You need to keep one there."

- "But I like wearing your clothes when we are at your place. It's extra large and extra comfy."

- "Is that why you keep taking my sweaters back to your house?"- he asked and chuckled- "Last Sunday, I found four of my sweaters in your closet."

- "Sorry, I'm not even sorry,"- I said and laughed- "And what were you doing in my closet?"

- "Lucy, Ricky, can we focus on the case?"- Morgan asked and waved at us with one silly grin on his face- "We love hearing your adorable daily adventures, but we've got a psycho killer to catch."

Spencer blushed and flustered right away. I stuck out my tongue at Morgan and just shook my head. The way Seaver looked at Reid was still driving me nuts, but I felt I had shown her he was mine, childishly.

It's embarrassing to think that's not the most childish thing I did around her those days. Or in the weeks to follow. But I didn't like Ashley, and I didn't want her around my team. And it wasn't just her constant flirting with Spencer. It was the fact her father had killed my mother's sister when she was in college, and I was making my best effort to keep that fact aside from work. My personal life had to stay out of the FBI, especially when working a case.

I had to do some serious mental work trying to remember it wasn't Ashley's fault her father was a sick bastard. She hadn't hurt my family, and her father had ruined her life too. It wasn't her fault.

But one thing is knowing. Another thing is being rational about it. Spoiler: I wasn't so rational about it.

- "So, (Y/N). Do you like working at the BAU?"- Ashley asked me and looked at me through the rearview mirror. We were in the SUV, and Prentiss was driving. I was in the back seat, trying to ignore her, but she made it impossible.

- "Yes, very much,"- I answered and nodded, not taking my eyes from the window.

- "Everybody is very friendly,"- Seaver added and made a pause. I don't know if she wanted me to say something or if she was trying to find a way to say what she wanted to say.

- "Yes, they are,"- I humored her, and she quickly responded.

- "Are you and Spencer dating?"- I could feel the blood raising my cheeks as she spoke. And Prentiss flashed me a look through the mirror as Ashley continued talking.

- "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be rude. I just wondered because of the fraternization policy."

- "Right. Sure. Of course."

Those three words were meant to let Ashley know I wasn't buying her bullshit, So I literally spit them.

- "Spencer is my best friend. We are not dating."

Facing that simple truth had never been harder before, especially after how I saw Ashley's face light up.

- "You just seem to be so close."

- "Oh, they are close,"- Emily smiled at me and winked- "They are so close, they sometimes freak us out."

- "We freak you out?"- I raised an eyebrow and carefully hit her arm, pretending to be upset. But honestly, I was glad she was teasing me.

- "I am just saying, we are all pretty suspicious about you two. I am actually surprised you didn't share rooms tonight. They usually share rooms."- Emily explained to Seaver.

- "He was paired with Morgan,"- I pouted and looked at my phone. I thought maybe I could send him a funny text. I actually wanted to hang out with him.

- "He is very nice,"- Ashley added- "I mean, everybody is nice."

- "Yes, you mentioned it"

I was clearly not being nice. Seaver nodded and looked at the files again. I assumed she was trying to find a way to keep asking about Spencer, and I was making my best not to kill her.

- "Working with a genius must be somehow intimidating,"- she said after a few minutes. Damn it, she wasn't going to let that subject go.

- "It's fun working with Spencer,"- Prentiss said, trying to humor Seaver. And mostly, I guess trying to ease my mood and keep me from killing the trainee agent.

- "I'm sure it is,"- Seaver added. I hated her.

- "He is more than just a genius, he is a nerd."- Emily pointed out and chuckled at her words, making Seaver giggle too. I looked at my book again, but I knew I wasn't going to be able to concentrate on it at all. He was my nerd. Mine.

- "Well, it's very refreshing to be with a group who trusts and works so well together,"- she added- "I had never felt less judged and more welcome in my entire life."

I know I should have felt sorry for her. But I honestly couldn't. That was the day I realized I wasn't the good person I thought I was. There was a part of me that was a scumbag. I'm guessing knowing that is pretty helpful and positive 'cos you can work on your flaws. But I wasn't planning on working on anything at that minute, though. I just wanted to break Seaver's face.

Spencer's point of view

I didn't like working without JJ. I've never been good with change, and that was a massive alteration of our routine. I missed her, and adding Ashley to the team made things even weirder for me, even for a case. I didn't want to be judgemental, but her father was a serial killer. Of course, that would make things weird.

Besides, everybody kept bugging me, teasing me, trying to see if I liked Seaver. Penelope called while we were on the case and started taunting me, saying she knew I thought Ashley was cute. I could see she was beautiful, but I couldn't see her that way. And I didn't want anyone to say those kinds of things around (Y/N).

Why did I care so much?

I didn't want to face it 'cos I knew it was completely platonic, but I didn't want (Y/N) to think I had a crush on Seaver. I knew my best friend didn't have romantic feelings for me, and I also knew I wasn't going to make a move on her or anything. But I didn't want things to change more than they already had. And most of all, I didn't want anything to alter my dynamic with (Y/N).

But at the same time, somehow, it felt everything was already different between us.

- "Hey, honey bunny,"- (Y/N) walked to me and handed me a cup of coffee- "I thought you might need one of these."

- "You are a lifesaver,"- I whispered and sipped the cup. It was perfect.

We were on the jet on our way back home. The whole team was mostly quiet. The mood was weird. Ashley had done something quite reckless earlier and nearly got herself killed. She walked to the unsub's house all alone, not knowing he was our guy. She almost died, and none of us can even imagine what went through her head to do such a thing.

Rossi and Hotch walked to her. (Y/N) looked at me, and I could read on her face that both of us knew what was going to happen.

Ashley was alone when David sat in front of her, and Hotch stood in the middle of the aisle. Maybe that had been insensitive of us. Neither of us tried to contain her. Neither of us really knew her that well. Or at all, as a matter of fact.

- "You were not supposed to go off on your own."- Hotch went straight to the point.

- "I know,"- she whispered, and I could see how (Y/N)'s face changed. I tried to read her, but all I was able to see was... anger? I had to be wronged. She had no reason to be mad at Ashley.

- "You could have been killed,"- Hotch crossed his arms on his chest and stared at her.

- "I know that, too."

- "Why, Ashley? You're smarter than that"- Rossi sounded like a worried father. I didn't look at him 'cos I kept my eyes on (Y/N)'s, still trying to read her emotions. But what I saw made no sense. She really looked like she was angry at Ashley. Like she hated her.

- "I never got to apologize to any of the victims. The families of the women my father killed. I thought if I could just apologize to one family that had been hurt that way..."

And that was when (Y/N) snapped. She jumped from her seat and walked to Seaver. Aaron and David looked at her surprised, and Morgan turned to me, taking off his headphones. Neither he nor Prentiss got what was happening until that moment.

- "Ok. Shoot!"- (Y/N) sat right in front of Seaver, next to David, and looked at her. But she didn't get it.

- "What? What are you talking about?"

- "You just said you wanted to apologize to one of the families. So go ahead. Try."

The silence on the jet was so deep and awkward it felt no one was ever going to talk again.

- "I'm sorry, (Y/N). But I don't get what you are implying,"- Ashley's voice was a whisper. I knew she was sad and affected, embarrassed even. But I also knew (Y/N), and I could read it on her face. She wasn't joking.

- "You said you wanted to apologize to the family of one of your dad's victims, so go ahead. Apologize to me."

My first instinct was to stand up, which I did. But I froze and didn't take a step closer to (Y/N) when I noticed the severe and cold look in her eyes. I didn't know what she was talking about. But I knew she wasn't bluffing.

- "Why should I... apologize to you?"- Ashley asked her, and her voice broke at a certain point, probably scared of the answer.

- "Your dad killed my mother's older sister. She was in college,"- (Y/N) spit each word with hate and looked at Ashley, waiting for her reply. But Seaver didn't know what to do. She widened her eyes and stayed still. She barely kept her breathing steady.

- "(Y/N), maybe we should let Seaver rest,"- Hotch landed a hand on her shoulder, but my friend shook her head.

- "No, Hotch. By making that choice, she put everyone at risk,"- (Y/N) didn't take her eyes from Ashley as she spoke- "As far as I remember when you are at the academy, they teach you that in the field, we are responsible to and for your team."

- "(Y/N)... I had no idea..."- Ashley tried to apologize, I could see it, but it was clear she wasn't going to win that argument- "I am so sorry."

- "I don't know, Seaver. Did you think saying "sorry" would make those families feel better? 'Cos it ain't working here. "Sorry" won't make my mom stop feeling guilty about what happened. And, if things had gotten ugly back there, "sorry" wouldn't have made your mistake go away in case anyone would have gotten hurt. So no. Sorry doesn't help. Maybe it can ease your conscience, but when you really fuck it up, it never makes things better."

(Y/N) stood up and walked back to her seat in front of me. I let her pass and didn't say a word. I knew she wouldn't want to talk about it there. And, of course, Seaver didn't say a word. She just stood up and walked to the back of the jet, to the bathroom. Rossi and Hotch looked at each other and then looked at me.

David poured a glass of whiskey and walked to (Y/N) slowly. He didn't say a word, he just handed it to her, and she just took it and sipped it with shaky hands.

- "Thanks,"- she whispered, and Rossi nodded. Hotch raised an eyebrow, and for a moment, I thought he was going to say something, but he didn't. He just walked to his seat and opened a case file.

I moved back to my seat and opened my satchel. I had run out of candies earlier that day, so I didn't have much to give to her that could make her smile. So I picked a book and handed it to her. She took it and smiled at me kindly. I knew she was fighting back the tears, and I am sure she has held back all the emotions than being with the daughter of the man who killed her aunt since she knew who Seaver was. And she managed to do the job well. I was proud of her.

- "Wanna grab something to eat when we reach DC?"- I whispered, but for the first time ever, she shook her head.

- "I'm gonna have to catch a rain check for that dinner. I think I wanna go straight to my bed today, honey."- she sipped her glass again, and I nodded.

- "Don't worry, next time."

I was waiting for the train to go back home later that night when I saw Seaver sitting at a bench at the station, staring at her hands on her lap. I didn't see her leaving the BAU, though to be honest, I was really focused on finishing my paperwork to go home. (Y/N) had left as soon as we reached DC, but I had stayed a little longer.

I hesitated for a few seconds before I took a few steps closer and waved at Seaver. She looked at me surprised, as soon as she saw me, but didn't move. I smiled, trying to look friendly, and sat next to her.

- "Hi. What are you doing here?"- I asked her, and she shrugged.

- "I was going to go home, but I think I sat here half an hour ago and haven't been able to move,"- I turned to her and shook my head.

- "Do you want to eat something?"- after what had happened at the jet, I figured Ashley wasn't feeling so good, and maybe talking with someone could help her. She looked at me and blushed; I don't know why. But at least, she smiled and nodded.

- "Great, pizza?"

- "Pizza sounds good."

We were waiting for our food and making small talk. I kept giving Ashley pizza facts to fill the silence 'cos it was weird hanging out with Ashley. I didn't know her, really. We had worked a case together, but that didn't mean I knew her. And, of course, we had the whole jet incident. I felt a little guilty about what had happened, though it wasn't my fault at all in retrospect. I just felt like it was my job cheering her up a little bit after everything she had gone through.

- "How do you do it?"- she asked me all of a sudden- "How do you deal with the pressure of this job?"

- "You get used to it, I guess. I don't know if it's a good thing to get used to, but... it comes with the job, I think,"- I didn't know if I was doing ok comforting her. Then again, I have never been particularly good at it. Not then, not now.

- "Did you always dream about doing this?"- she asked me, and her eyes locked into mine in a way that made me feel slightly uncomfortable.

- "Y... yes. Ever since I was a kid, catching the bad guys,"- Seaver nodded and sipped her coke- "You? Why did you get into the academy?"

I regretted my question right after I asked, just 'cos I realized she might have done it to understand her father's behavior. It was only apparent that had shaped her actions.

- "I guess you know that..."- Ashley answered and smiled, her eyes looking straight into mine. I know I blushed. She is a beautiful woman, though I wasn't thinking about her that way. It was an odd feeling being observed that way.

I was glad our pizza made it to the table, and we were forced to stop talking, and I could focus on anything else but her. Not that I didn't want to look at her, but... I think the right way to explain it is to call it "uneasy." That's how I felt. I wanted to be friendly with her, she had a horrible experience consulting with the team, and I was sure she wasn't really having a good day.

- "This might sound weird, but... do you think I can call you sometime?"- Ashley asked after a few minutes. We were eating and talking about nothing important. I nearly chook at her words and looked at her, nodding.

- "Sure, why?"- I didn't mean to be rude. I just didn't know why she might need to talk to me again.

- "I just think maybe you could help me with a few assignments at the academy."

- "Yeah, of course."

Ashley Seaver smiled and nodded at me, pleased. She took a sip of Sprite, and I could read her, trying to find the words to continue speaking.

- "I'm glad. I was sure you were going to say no."

- "Why?"- I furrowed my brows, confused- "I'm not a big fan of phones, but I can handle a casual phone call."

- "No, I just didn't think your girlfriend would like... I mean, I think (Y/N) hates me, and as her boyfriend, I thought you... would... I don't know."

- "I'm, we are... we,"- I was completely flustered as I tried to rearrange my thoughts. Seaver looked at me innocently and waited for my words.

- "(Y/N) isn't my girlfriend"- it bothered me to admit that simple fact. Why? 'Cos it hurt to think we looked like a couple, but we weren't. Why did Seaver think we were together?

- "Really? But..."

- "She is my best friend,"- I explained poorly. She nodded and hesitated before saying what she was thinking. It was obvious she was trying to arrange the words in her head.

- "It's just that you two... sorry, I'm overstepping,"- Ashley blushed and shook her head- "She is... strong."

- "Yes, very."

- "I think I started with the wrong foot with her."

- "Well, I don't mean to justify anything, but if your father hurt,"- I made a pause, trying to find a way to say it that wasn't so painful.

- "Killed. My father killed her aunt,"- she corrected me with a cold and monotonous tone of voice. I just nodded and sipped my water.

- "She is an amazing person,"- I don't know if I was trying to excuse (Y/N)'s earlier behavior or if I just loved her so much I needed to tell people how awesome she was.

- "I'm sure you will pass this,"- I assured her- "Once you get to know her, and she gets to know you."

- "I don't think she will give me that chance. Besides, I was just clear to assist with only one case."

- "If you want to stay, you can request your remedial training be here. And if Hotch approves it, I could talk to (Y/N). I'm sure she will like to know you better."

Why did I say all that? I had no idea.

- "Thank you, Spence. You are really sweet,"- Ashley moved closer and held my hand. I stayed very still, absolutely awkward.

- "Yeah, I don't... like... holding hands,"- I quickly moved it away and tried to smile at her. She stayed still, not understanding my reaction but trying to act normal.

- "Sorry."

- "That's ok. I'm a germaphobe, that's all."

After pizza, we left the place and said goodnight. I told Ashley I was weary (which was, in fact, the truth) and got her a cab to take her home. After that, I walked to my place. I felt like I needed to be alone for a while. My head was overwhelmed, and in the latest couple of weeks, I had severe trouble sleeping.

I had migraines that nearly blinded me. I was scared they meant I could develop the first signs of schizophrenia, like mom, 'cos they were coming more and more often. It wasn't that bad yet, the light didn't hurt my eyes, and I didn't have any sign of hallucination, but still, I knew it could be serious.

I tried to think of a reason why I might be having those severe headaches. I was eating correctly, mostly 'cos (Y/N) forced me to eat. No, she didn't force me, but she made sure I had all my meals at work, not just coffee. And usually, at the weekends, we would spend our time together, and she was a fantastic cook. So it wasn't an alimentary issue.

I wasn't sleeping well. That wasn't new, but it was getting serious. I wrote and read a lot at night 'cos I couldn't fall asleep until late. I didn't know why. I just couldn't rest. My body ached, and my brain wouldn't sleep. The only nights I could actually get some rest were the ones when (Y/N) stayed with me. It was a blessing when Hotch paired us to share rooms, 'cos I could easily fall asleep when she was around. Her presence soothed me in a way that I didn't understand. Let me put it this way, I know it might sound cheesy, but the beating of her heart set the rhythm for my own, and at night it would bring me peace.

I reached home that night and sighed. I knew I wasn't going to rest easy. (Y/N) wasn't there with me. So I made myself a cup of herbal tea, (Y/N) had a lot of those in my house, and I drank them when I missed her. The smell coming from the cup made me feel like she was close.

How pathetic I had become! But I could only share those thoughts with myself. No one knew I had feelings for her, and I was going to deny it till the end, no matter what had JJ said. I couldn't take that phone call from my mind, and on those sleepless nights, I kept overthinking and overanalyzing everything.

I got into bed with a few books and my cup of herbal tea. I took a look at my cell phone, two new messages.

- "I miss u"

(Y/N) sent, and a warm feeling spread on my chest as I imagined her whispering those words as I read them

- "Breakfast tomorrow before work?"

- "See you at seven-thirty."

I typed and sent it.

What could ever happen if I told her how much in love I am with her? I would lose her, and I'd be alone. She didn't feel that way for me. It was a fact. I was just glad she was my best friend, and I could share everything with her. Was I pathetic? Yes, very, but in a way, it felt it was just all I deserved. Not more, not less. Just being in love with a girl who didn't love me back.

At least she wasn't dating Paul anymore. I hated that guy.

(Y/N)'s point of view

Spencer was waiting for me outside our usual coffee shop, already holding two cups of coffee. His short hair looked dreamy as she smiled and took off his sunglasses. It had to be illegal being that hot. But, seriously, how didn't he get laid? He was fucking dreamy. In the four years we had been best friends, I saw Spencer in many hairstyles, and each of them made him look like a model.

Falling in love with Spencer Reid had been a process I hadn't actually been fully aware of. But I was completely conscious I needed to hide those feelings from him and from everybody at the BAU.

Ok, fine, I had somehow faced part of those feelings in front of my drunk best buddies at Penelope's house, but I never actually confirmed anything. I had just... shared some of my frustrations, I guess.

- "Good morning, honey bunny,"- I smiled and sighed as I stood in front of Spencer, watching him grin back at me and hand me one of the coffee cups.

- "Good morning, chipmunk. Did you get some rest?"

- "Yes, I fell asleep as soon as I reached my bed. I was exhausted."

- "I'm glad you are fully rested."

- "What did you do yesterday?"

- "Nothing,"- he answered quickly and turned around- "I got you a carrot muffin to go."

- "Thank you so much. I'm starving. I didn't even have dinner yesterday."

- "Really?"

- "I told you, I reached home and crawled into my bed."

We walked outside the coffee shop in silence. Spencer bit his donuts, and I ate my muffin. It was nice and calming being with him doing domestic things in life.

I hated how much in love I was with him 'cos I knew I had to shake that feeling away. He was never going to have feelings for me. I was a regular human being, and Spencer Walter Reid was a genius. He deserved better, he was actually never to think about me that way, and I refused to ruin our friendship with those feelings.

- "So, Comic-con is coming. What are we doing this year?"- I asked as I drove us to Quantico.

- "I was thinking we should do something classic,"- he looked at me, nearly beaming on his seat- "We haven't done Star Wars yet."

- "Really?"- I frowned, confused- "All these years? Are you sure?"

- "(Y/N), eidetic memory,"- he argued, and I chuckled- "So, how do you feel about Leia?"

- "Do I have to be Leia 'cos I'm a girl?"- I asked him, and he flustered right away.

- "What? No, you can be whoever you want to be. I was just, it came to my mind... I didn't,"- I giggled and looked at him for a second.

- "I'm messing with you, Batsy. I always wanted to dress as Leia. Surprisingly, I never had. Padme once, it was a mess, but never Leia. Who are you planning to be?"

- "Maybe Luke... or Obi-Wan. Morgan suggested C3PO once."

- "If I'm Leia, you should be Han,"- I don't know why I said that out loud. I thought about it, I pictured it in my head, but I knew I shouldn't have said it. Then why did those words leave my mouth? I don't know.

- "Han Solo... yes... yeah, sure. Of course! We can pick our outfits this weekend."

- "Great! What do you think would look better? Slave Leia or classic all in white Leia?"- Spencer didn't answer. He just sipped his coffee and looked outside the window.

- "You would look good in both,"- his cellphone interrupted our conversations, and I thought it might be a case. But I was so wrong, it hurt.

- "Hello? Oh, hi, Ashley,"- I nearly hit the break as soon as I heard him saying her name, but instead, I turned around and looked at him.

- "Good, yes. On my way to work with (Y/N). Oh, that's good."

I didn't care what she was saying. I just needed to know why that bitch was calling him. I was blind in jealousy, and I was having a hard time hiding it.

- "Really? Emily? That's... that's great. Sure, we'll see you around, gotta go. Bye."

- "What the fuck?"- I swear, I didn't think what I was saying. Those words just slip through my lips straight from my guts. I hated Seaver.

- "That was Ashley."

- "Figured when you said "Hi Ashley." What? Are you best friends with her now?"

- "What? No! No way! She just wanted to say hi... and... She.... asked for my number 'cos she wanted to help her with some of the academy's projects,"- Spencer was so nervous he actually stuttered as he answered my simple question.

- "Of course, she did,"- my voice was bitter and hurt, but most of all, ironic. And I don't know if Spencer didn't want to understand me or actually didn't get the hint, but he just continued talking.

- "She wanted to tell me she requested her remedial training be at the BAU."

- "What?!"- that wasn't subtle. I actually yelled- "I'm gonna have to see her again?"

- "If Hotch approves..."

- "Fuck!! That's awful!!"- I hit the wheel, frustrated.

- "She's not a bad person, (Y/N). Her dad was a murderer, but that doesn't mean..."- I turned to look at Spencer for a second, and he just shut up- "Sorry."

- "I don't like her, Spencer."

- "Yes, I know."

- "Her dad killed my aunt!!"

- "I know..."

- "And on top of that, that bitch is..."

I had to bite my lips and focus on the road, actually holding my breath for a few seconds, just not to open my mouth and ruin it all.

The main reason why I hated Ashley Seaver wasn't just because of what her father had done. That itself was enough to keep her away. But on top of that, she was flirting with Spencer. She wasn't even subtle about it; she was nearly all over him. I saw her! She wanted him, and he had no idea! He was blind to her attention. Unless he liked it. Did he? Shit, I hoped not.

- "She what?"- Spencer whispered, scared of my reaction.

- "She plays the pity card the whole time. Bad things happen to all of us. You don't have to make it who you are, she does, and she expects sympathy."

I grabbed my muffin and took a big bite of it. Spencer sighed and stayed quiet for a moment, giving me space to decompress, I think.

- "Did you know the origins of carrot cake are disputed by many countries?"- I looked at Spencer, and he nodded- "Many food historians believe carrot cake originated from the English recipe of carrot puddings, eaten by Europeans in the Middle Ages when sugar and sweeteners were expensive, and many people used carrots as a substitute for sugar."

- "My mom would fight all those historians and convince them she invented it. Her carrot cake is the best."

- "And I would agree, the cake she baked for your last birthday was amazing."- I nodded and heard him chuckle as I kept my eyes on the road. I wanted to focus on the memories of my last birthday and how fun it was, but something was bugging me.

- "And why did she call you to tell you what she wanted to do?"- I parked the car outside the BAU and turned to Spencer. He opened his mouth, but no word came from it. So I asked him again.

- "Honey, why did Seaver call you to announce she would take the remedial training at the BAU?"

- "It... might... had been my idea,"- he whispered and held his satchel tight against his body. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't believe it.

- "Why on earth did you do that, Spencer?!"- I shouted as I got out of the car, grabbed my purse, my clean go bag in case we had a case, and started walking towards the building.

- "It wasn't like a suggestion. She just..."

- "I can't believe it!!"

- "It doesn't have to be that bad! It's just for a few weeks..."

- "Hopefully, Hotch won't accept."

- "(Y/N), come on,"- Spencer held my hand and stopped me- "This is not like you. Yeah, you don't like her, but you are making it a big deal, and it's not."

- "I'm starting to think you are crushed on her,"- I didn't want to say those words. They just slipped.

- "What!? Why? No!! I'm not!"- the high pitch on Spencer's voice was a clear sign of how uncomfortable he was with the conversation.

- "Then why are you defending her?"

- "I am not! I'm just saying maybe you are acting a little bit... irrational about this whole thing. She hasn't done anything bad."

- "Other than jeopardizing the whole case yesterday?"

- "Right, other than that..."

I felt Spencer's hand in mine, and I swear, I couldn't stop thinking about how it felt. It kept sending shivers all over my body. His thumb rubbed small circles on my skin, probably trying to calm me down, and it worked. I followed it with my eyes for a second as I took a few deep breaths and nodded.

- "Ok, I won't make a big deal if she stays."

- "Thank you."

- "Just... don't ask me to be her friend."

- "You don't have to be her friend."

Spencer stood in front of me and smiled. I swear all I could think of was kissing him. And a part of me felt it was getting harder and harder to resist. He put on his sunglasses and kept his hand in mine for a moment until Penelope's voice took us from our little bubble.

- "Good morning, my wonder babies!! Ready to fight crime?"

I actually didn't know what I was getting into.

Hotch had taken the day off. We were around the one-year anniversary of Haley's death, and according to what Rossi explained to us, Jack wasn't feeling so good. It was said it would be just a day or two, but I had the feeling it might be a couple of weeks. Hotch would always put himself second, but he would do whatever it took to keep him safe when it came to his son.

Morgan had been asked to take a trip to Petersburg Federal Correctional Complex to do a risk assessment on a case, so Spencer, Prentiss, and I were in the bullpen. Garcia was in her office, and Rossi was in a meeting with Strauss. I'd say it was a very calm morning, catching up with all the pending paperwork we had. Spencer had just gotten me a cup of coffee when I heard Seaver's cheerful voice.

- "Hi guys!"- she walked in with a big smile and waved- "How are you?"

Spencer looked at me as we all said our hellos. I could almost read "Please, be nice" written all over his face, and for a moment, I was willing to do as told. I didn't want him to suspect why I was so annoyed by her after all.

- "I talked to Hotch"- Emily smiled at Seaver and moved a chair for her- He signed off your remedial training, and I'll be your training agent. I'll supervise your work. I already told Rossi too, so it's official.

Ashley jumped from her chair and hugged Emily. I rolled my eyes and stared at the file on my desk. I really wasn't ready to deal with her. I wasn't prepared to deal with someone trying to steal Spencer from me.

Ok, Spencer wasn't mine to keep, but we had been inseparable for four years, and I didn't want to lose that. I didn't want to lose him.

I had never been ready to deal with Spencer dating other girls. The few times girls had hit on him had been awful. Once, Morgan took him to a club when we were on a case, 'cos the unsub was picking his victims there, and he taught him how to pick up girls. The bartender ended up giving him her number 'cos my dorky best friend was charming. Derek still remembered that moment from time to time, quoting it as "The day he turned Spencer into a man."

I loved Derek, but fuck, I hated him sometimes.

- "Welcome to the team,"- Spencer waved at Seaver from his desk and turned to me, raising an eyebrow.

- "Yeah, welcome,"- I added and cut her a short smile.

- "I'm thrilled to join you guys for a few weeks. I always dreamt of being here. I'm ready for making it up after the last case."

- "Don't be so hard on yourself,"- Prentiss interrupted her and smiled friendly- "You remained calm under pressure, and the case was solved. That's all that matters."

I had to control myself not to snort after Emily's words. Instead, I kept my eyes locked on my desk like I had done before. I was so focused on it that I could have actually developed telekinesis skills and moved the freaking file with my eyes.

- "I just wanted to say thank you to all of you,"- Seaver's voice was soft, in a mix of fear, excitement, and... something else I couldn't read.

- "Especially you, Spencer. I really enjoyed our talk last night, and I have the feeling I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. Thank you for the pizza. I owe you dinner."

- "Don't, it was nothing,"- Spencer flustered and stood up quickly, grabbing his pile of files and walking away, arguing he needed to ask Garcia something.

I did my best not to move a muscle. I didn't want Seaver to know how much I hated the fact she had shared what seemed to be a lovely evening with Spencer. One he didn't actually mention when we talked about what we had done the previous evening. Why did he decide to keep me in the dark? I couldn't understand that. Maybe he just didn't want me to know he actually had feelings for Seaver. Maybe he had asked her out, and because he knew I hated her (though he really didn't know why), he decided not to tell me what was going on.

I had been wasting all that time in love with Spencer. I knew I would never act on those feelings, and clearly, he didn't have feelings for me. So... maybe it was time to let him go.

How could I let Spencer Reid go when I never actually had him?

–

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Spencer taglist

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General Taglist

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Do you want to be on the taglist or ramble about this chapter with me? Just send me a message here.

Next update: June 16th, 2021

[trollishly]

Valkyrie Pt. 5 • Ivar X Reader

A girl shows up bloody and beaten to Kattegat. The Queen and her sons take an interest in the girl, especially Ivar.

Warnings: Gore, Swearing, Mentions of sex, Angst, Anything you'd expect from Vikings

The harsh chilled wind of Kattegate’s forest whipped the the thick furs that laid upon her shoulders. The forest seemed to be alive, as the trees whined and creaked as the gusts only became stronger. Her breathing became heavier as she quickened her pace towards her desired destination, ambitious for what she seeked.

Her eyes light up as they finally fell upon the individual, though she couldn't help but shiver as her feet finally met the front of their seated position. 

“The Queen...“ Slightly bowed the being, words slurring from their twisted lips. “Ancient One,” Quipped Aslaug as she tucked her gown to kneel before him, “you know why I am here, we’ve spoken of this matter before.“ Rushed the Queen in a desperate manner. The Seer let an exasperated grunt, his grotesque tongue running along his lips in thought. “The girl from your vision, you speak of her, you’ve spoken to her.” Hummed the cloak individual, while Aslaug only nodded hoping for him to continue.  

"Well what is it that is troubling you my Queen?" Aslaug rolled her eyes slightly, "I wish to know if my visions are once again correct, or am I mistaken and she is actually a threat to my kingdom?"

"You ask difficult questions, always questioning." He grinned, "However, I shall give you comfort by saying that what you see, is in fact true my Queen." Aslaug let out a breath of relief she hadn't known she was holding, refraining from smiling, which she found herself doing more often as of late. "The gods have blessed us with a great gift..." Croaked the Seer, "A Valkyrie." Spoke the two in unison.

•••

Soft knocks echoed throughout the quaint room, and with nobody acknowledging it, a hush voice followed. "I'm coming in." Spoke Ubbe as he push the door open which dragged along the uneven floor.

There laid Frode, in bed and struggling to inhale evenly. His glazed over eyes drifting to look at the intruder. Ubbe watched as the boy clench his hand firmer around the one that laid upon his, the hand belonging to non other than his sister.

Y/n was slouched against Frode's bed, half her weight on her knees and the other on the edge of the bed. She looked as if she hadn't slept for days, which was half of the truth. If it weren't for Y/n's recent episodes of passing out, she would've been up like usual, her sleep schedule being far from healthy.

"Is she asleep?" Asked Ubbe, stepping further into the room. Frode tried to speak in denial, however, he found himself unable to speak, his voice caught in his throat as another fit of coughs erupted from him. With Frode at a loss, he was not able to warn Ubbe as he reached out to shake his sister awake. Y/n flinched harshly from his touch, rolling away from him and onto her feet. They both stood still, however, Y/n seemed to be on guard due to his presence. Ubbe tilted his head, trying to catch the girl's gaze, but she seemingly refused, not wanting him to see her at her weakest, as her eyes were red and puffy from her night's worth of crying over her brother.

"Sorry to disturb, but my mother asked me to invite you to come eat with us." Ubbe simply said, "I would of sent a thrall, but it seems you've scared them all half to death." Chuckled the man as he refrained from coming any closer.

"No, but thank you." Replied Y/n, turning to tend to her little brother once more. Frode quickly grasped his sister wrist and pulled a pleading face at her. "Y/n, you were never one to deny food, please go. I promise I will be fine." Comforted Frode as he begun to push Y/n away. "You need fresh air, you shouldn't be near me. I am not well," he paused briefly by taking a breath as he tried not to cough, "with you still being injured, it could become deadly if you were to stay near me and get sick." Finished the boy, relieved to see that his persuasion was beginning to work as his sister's frown lessened.

"He'll be fed and watched yes?" Questioned Y/n as she turned to face Ubbe. He nodded reassuring her, "A thrall will tend to your brother's every need."

Y/n began to debate in her head, not for long though, as her thoughts were interrupted by a loud growl that came from her stomach. "Okay." Agreed Y/n begrudgingly, as she came to pushed the hair from Frode's face before leaving the room with Ubbe following closely behind.

•••

"Uh- pardon?" Stuttered Ubbe shaking himself from his trance. Y/n spoke up and repeated herself, "I said, the Queen is very generous. All of you are, you could have left my brother and I to die." Expressed Y/n as she kept her head facing fowards as she walked alongside the prince.

Ubbe blinked down at the girl, inspecting her appearance, which he did more often than he'd like to admit, especially in the little time he was in her presence. "You should thank the Queen, yourself." He said, looking away when he caught himself staring. "She knows something we don't- a-and I trust her enough to follow her blindly. Not only because she is my mother, but because I believe she is fit as ruler." Spoke Ubbe, his tone indicating he said more than what he intended to.

Y/n's forehead creased slightly at the mention of his mother's knowledge of the unknown, but let him be, by keeping silent as they finally made it to the hall.

Bickering could be heard from a table of cluttering cutlery, a whine drawing the attention of Y/n. "Mother. Tell them to stop tormenting me." Mischievously spoke, who Y/n now knew as Ivar, as he held a hand of a thrall, who sat rigid beside him. His head was lolled to the side as he looked pleadingly towards his mother with a pout.

Ubbe walked ahead of the girl, a snort coming from him due to his little brother's banter. This causing everyone's eyes to not only land on Ubbe, but Y/n as well. Ubbe eyed a seat from across the room, rounding the table and sitting besides Hvitserk, who's eyes kept flickering between Ivar and Y/n curiously, as he continued to shove food into his mouth.

At the speed of which Thor would strike his hammer, Ivar shuffled in his seat, removing Margrethe's hand from his lips and dismissing her with just a wave of his arm. Y/n stood quietly, unsure with what to do with herself, before realizing something that could have been crucial.

"My Queen." Announced Y/n as she bowed her head in respect, looking at her through the thick of her lashes. "Morning Y/n. I am pleased to see that you've joined us once more. Please, take a seat beside me." She said, gesturing to a spot in between herself and Sigurd. As Y/n approached, the Queen gave Margrethe a narrowed side glance, "Get our guest a chair." She stated firmly, causing the thrall to panick as she left her spot beside Ivar and walking towards the nearest chair. Both her and Y/n reached for the chair, clutching it at the same time.

"Please, there is no need." Y/n said gently, lifting the chair from Margrethe's grasp and placing it in its spot. The slave just stepped back and scanned Y/n's form before looking away in a submissive manner.

As Y/n took a seat, the Queen continued their discussion before Ivar had been interrupted. "Now Ubbe, when will you have children?" Asked the Aslaug as she gestured to him with a napkin in hand. He grinned, "I probably already have!" He joked causing the others boys to break out in laughter as he pick at his food to throw it towards his mother. "No I'm serious, each and everyone of you should have a woman by now, even married." Spoke the Queen genuinely, as she looked to each of her boys. All of them eyed each other before shrugging without a care and focusing back onto their food. The Queen pinched the bridge of her nose as she shook her head, turning to face her attention to Y/n.

"It seems my boys are far too immature to have a wife, let alone children, don't you think Y/n?" Smiled Aslaug at the girl, which made the boys pause in their gluttony. Y/n found herself a little caught off guard, as she was never the one to get romantically involve, spending most of her time training or raising her brother.

"I don't believe my opinion would have much value my Queen." Began Y/n as she kept her attention solely on Aslaug, "But since they are the King and Queen's children, heirs are expected from them..." Aslaug seemed pleased with Y/n's answer as her lips quirked slightly, "Hmm, and do you have a husband, or lover, for that matter?"

Y/n cringe internally, knowing what Frode would say to the Queen if he had the opportunity. "I don-" However, Aslaug cut her short. "I'm speaking nonsense aren't I? Of course you would. You are a very beautiful young woman, and a shield maiden I assume?" Rambled the Queen which seemed suspiciously intentional. Y/n's mouth was left agape momentarily before she quickly closed it, "Yes, I am a shield maiden my Queen." She said keeping her answer curt.

Hvitserk began giggling cheekily, as he watched the way Ivar strained himself by pressing his palms against the bench. Pushing his torso upwards as he leaned on the table, in hopes of getting a better view of his mother and Y/n as they conversed. Sigurd scowled at his little brother's enamored behavior. Still upset at his earlier possessiveness of Margrethe, especially after she had confided in him the night before.

"As I was saying, you don't need to love the woman to breed with them." Explained the Queen, making Y/n bow down to eat her soup as she try her hardest to block out the conversation; one that she had already deemed as a personal family matter. As Aslaug continued to chatter, Y/n's eyes scan the room as she spooned the food into her mouth, making accidental eye contact with Hvitserk as he copied her actions. He grinned at her as the soup messily dribble down his chin, until an aggressive voice broke his playful staring.

"What is wrong with you?" Quipped Ivar as he now leaned further onto the table staring daggers at Sigurd, "Nothing is wrong with me," spat Sigurd making Hvitserk and Y/n glanced at each other, with Hvitserk widening his eyes at her humorously. "I just wanted to know if she has love anyone except Harbard..." Silence followed making Y/n sit up uncomfortable, "You remember Harbard don't you?" Sigurd continued sparing everyone a glance but his mother.

Ubbe sat stoney still and so did Hvitserk, but Ivar pushed on, with his arms now crossed loosely, "Of course she has loved another," he stated to Sigurd while nodding. "She has always loved me... isn't that right mother?" He urged while smiling at his mother, his eyes briefly catching Y/n's, who was sat just behind Aslaug from his position. However, the Oueen didn't speak and just nodded as she swallowed her drink discreetly.

Y/n's eyebrows raised at Aslaug's reaction, wondering as for why the Queen wasn't being more reassuring to her son, "She just pities you Ivar, just like the rest of us. Y/n probably feels sorry for you too, especially when you look at her with so much desperation." Ivar flinched at Sigurd's words, anger and embarrassment building within him. "and sometimes, we wish mother had left you to the wolves." He smoothly said, as if it weren't something completely vile. Y/n couldn't comprehend how someone could be so cruel, mainly to their family.

"Sigurd!" Demanded the Queen, with Ivar continuing to glare at his brother trying to sort his feelings internally, "What?" Was all he replied with, before resuming his breakfast.

Y/n found herself wanting to put Sigurd in his place, but refrained from doing so as nothing but consequences would come from it. A drag of a chair turn Y/n's attention back to Ivar, as he was now standing tall at the end of the table. This caused Sigurd to haphazardly throw his spoon onto the table, scoffing at Ivar's display.

Ivar began scooting from his seat, supporting his weight briefly on his mother's chair, with her cooing at him to calm his temper. Her attempts went unnoticed as he continued, with his left hand wavering, before it had finally landed on the back of Y/n's chair. Ivar and the girl gazed at each other, with her turning within her seat to make room for the young prince. Ivar was now hesitant, mainly now that he was the closest he had yet been to Y/n, not helping himself as he caught of whiff of her aroma that furthermore attracted him to her. Ivar's forearm gently grazed Y/n's hair as he pulled himself from one chair to another, as he heard Sigurd still taunting him.

"Come on Boneless!" He teased as he stood from his chair now that Ivar was near. Everyone was now standing, Y/n situating herself just behind Ivar. Bowls and utensils fell to the floor as Sigurd pulled a chair from underneath Ivar making him collapse with a painful sounding thud. Y/n reach down to help him, but pause as Hvitserk gestured to her not to from the corner of her eye.

Ivar's frustrated huffs filled the room, his nostrils flaring as he forcefully began to drag himself towards his target. Sigurd's harmful jabs continued, with the Queen now walking up towards Ivar and passing Y/n, who couldn't help but stand and watch how this would play out.

Sigurd seemed to grow tired of this little game, quickly turning and pushing the doors of the hall open, making the bright light bleach the room with a stark white wash, highlighting Ivar's enraged features.

Ivar chased Sigurd out of the room causing a loud scream to rip from his throat, with the Queen attempting to hold him back.

•••

End of part 5.

•••

Notes: Thank you all so much for 50 followers! Had to finish and post part 5 today for you all!

Tags: @youbloodymadgenius, @not-another-viking-fanfic-blog, @midnightmystic

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[maysbanks]

are you bored yet. (jj maybank)

hey everyone ! basically this is my first time writing for jj, or anyone from obx in general. this is a side acc from my main acc that i made purely bc this fic idea came to me when watching obx and after listening to the wallows on repeat for weeks. idk i just thought the song was kinda fitting for jj, and im a sucker for soft ! jj with a friends to lovers arc, so here this is. it's quite a long one btw, the words just kept flowing so i apologise in advance. also i have a few more fic ideas based off some songs so if you like this and are interested in more pls let me know ! im probably gonna be writing a lot more for this boy bc i adore him. anyways i hope u enjoy !

warnings: features swearing, mention of sex, underage drinking, drug use and violence.

summary: based lightly off the song 'are you bored yet?' by the wallows ft clairo, reader and jj delve deeper into their relationship, taking the steps further into becoming something more than best friends. however worries and doubts begin to plague their minds, as they fear their relationship of becoming just a memory.

( gif isn't mine! please let me know if it's yours so i can credit you. )

"What are you doing later?" You looked towards Kie who'd directed the question towards you, her eyes squinting from the sun that was grinning down at your forms from where you were both seated on the sand.

"Dunno," you shrugged your shoulders. "Probably hanging out with J or something."

Kiara scoffed, a mocking look taking over the features of her face as her head turned towards yours, your eyebrows raising at the sly smirk on her lips. "What?" You questioned, narrowing your eyes when all she did was laugh. You shifted in your place, body moving from laying on your back to on your stomach, figuring it was about time to switch positions for your tan anyway. "Seriously Kie, what're you laughing about?"

She shifted along with you, only laying on her right side so she could face you head on, her hand propping her head up from the ground. She was still grinning. "JJ," she said simply. You raised your eyebrows at her once more, seemingly not understanding what she was trying to get at. "What's going on with you two?" Kie pushed on when you didn't respond, her own eyebrows inching further up her forehead.

In the distance you could hear the boys' screams, their commotion coming from the water you had passed on entering. You could hear JJ taunting John B from where you lay, Pope laughing along, and the splashes that you could only assume were also coming from them. You never spared them a glance, though from the corner of your eye could see their figures and indeed the loud splashes of water were coming from them, and you were certain JJ was holding John B underneath the water.

"Nothing's going on," you said in response to Kie's question, rolling your eyes playfully at her exclaim of 'oh c'mon!'. "What? It's the truth. Nothing is going on, not really."

Kie furrowed her brows. "What do you mean by 'not really'? Did something happen between you two?" She prodded.

You shrugged, because in all honesty you couldn't say much of anything about your relationship with JJ. You were just as unsure about it all as Kie and more than likely the rest of the gang were (because if Kie had picked up on it than surely Pope and John B had too, and you were kind of freaking about it.) and had no idea what to say in her line of questioning. Of course you wanted to talk about it, you and the Pogues never kept secrets from each other - but was it really a secret when they technically knew about it anyway, and was it really a secret when you and JJ hadn't even spoken about keeping it a secret too? Your mind raced, and you figured it was easier to just shrug it off for the time being. Kie would no doubt ask again, and you hoped you had the answers by the next time she (or someone else) would.

"He's my best friend," you'd decided on saying. From the corner of your eye, you could see the guys approaching. "We've been close since we were like, ten. We've always been the same."

Except now the two of you held hands under the table and kissed in the safety of your rooms, among other things. That part of your relationship was fairly new though, and so you decided against saying anything until you could work out exactly what was going on between you and JJ - because you had no clue, and weren't even sure that JJ knew himself. It just sort of happened, the line being crossed over from friends to lovers in the blink of an eye. One minute you'd never dare to give in to the temptation of JJ Maybank's heavenly sinful lips, and the next the pair of you were sharing a bed almost every night.

Nothing much had changed though, in regards to your friendship. JJ and you had always been close, always intimate in your touches. Always beside each other, rarely without the other. You were an unstoppable duo from the minute you met. Just somehow, along the line, over the years, your friendship had turned into more. Each touch became longer, each glance would linger, and something had shifted. It was inevitable, you supposed. Nobody was ever really that close with someone without feelings getting involved at some point.

The guys were a lot closer now, and Kie spared them a glance before looking back towards you. "Friends don't look at each other the way you two do." Was all she said before the sun that was earlier shining down on you was blocked by the trio of tall guys that smiled at the pair of you. Kie sat up, smiling as Pope took a seat beside her on her towel. "Have fun out there?"

"Oh, tons," came the voice that belonged to the person you were talking about not a minute ago. JJ smirked down at you, blonde hair dripping wet on his forehead and golden tanned chest on full show. You admired the view behind your sunglasses and sent a grin in his direction when he seemed to notice. "You checking me out there, babe?"

You laughed as he did a little shimmy, rolling your eyes as you looked at him over the rim of your glasses. "What would you do if I was, Maybank?" You played along, smirking when you heard John B let out a gag from somewhere beside you. JJ smiled back, and squatting down in front of your form he'd grabbed hold of your feet, laughing when you squealed. Tugging so that you were laying on your back rather than your front, his sea blue eyes gazed down your body, unknowingly leaving a trail of fire in its wake. The feeling you shared with JJ was unlike any other, nothing or nobody could come close to topping it. It was unexplainable, the feeling of absolute longing for him to just be there forever. You couldn't ever imagine a life without him in it, and that thought both scared and excited you.

JJ stared down at you, tongue peeking from his mouth to wet his pink lips as he looked. You felt hot all over and you knew it wasn't because of the sun. "Things only you could imagine sweetheart," he taunted from above you, knowing fine well that what you could imagine he'd probably already done to you. You smirked back, feeling a thrill shoot through you because the pair of you knew this and the remaining three of your group had no idea, or so you believed. This new relationship, this unspoken thing between the two of you was simply yours, and somewhere in the future you feared you'd both come to regret it, whatever it was, but in the moments of the present you knew neither of you could find it in yourselves to actually care.

And so you both smiled at each other like the world around you didn't exist, and for a couple of seconds you could pretend it didn't, JJ moving so he was seated behind you with your body seated between his legs and your back against his chest. Sat there, surrounded by your friends though almost oblivious to their presence as JJ's hands rested on your skin, his breath on your neck. You leaned into him, and smiled when he placed a discreet kiss to your shoulder.

Locking eyes with him, you grinned. The burst of happiness and content when he grinned back was almost unbearable, and in that moment you knew you never wanted whatever it was that you two shared to end.

It was a few days later when JJ showed up at your window, his face bloody and bruised, his form weak as he pulled himself into your bedroom. You didn't need to ask twice about who'd caused the damage, your body and mind going into autopilot as you hurried from your bed and grabbed hold of him, JJ grunting as he fell into you, his hand clutching desperately at his side.

"Shit, JJ," you'd cursed as you helped him land on your bed, hands instantly grabbing at his face and assessing the damage that had been left by his father. There was cuts along his brow line, his eye was bruised and already swollen shut, his bottom lip bust open and oozing blood. Your thumbs swiped along his cheeks, being careful of the injuries, and you felt tears pricking at your eyes at the sight of him. You blinked them away as quickly as you could, he didn't need to see you being so upset in that moment. And besides, you had bigger issues like getting him cleaned up like you had done too many times before. "Stay here, okay. I'm gonna go get the first aid kit."

JJ only grunted, and you pressed a kiss to his forehead before leaving the room to get the kit, your mind reeling. It was no secret about JJ's father and his years of abuse towards his own son, and you'd seen him beaten so badly so many times before, but it never got any easier. Each time it happened JJ would wound up at your house, and each time you would clean him up, making sure his wounds were tended to and making him as comfortable as possible as he slept next to you, most nights with his head resting on your chest as you soothed him to sleep with whispers of reassurance that you were there and that you loved him. He would fall asleep with tears staining his cheeks and you would cry yourself to sleep afterwards too, wishing that could just take away all his pain, wishing that you could do more, wishing that JJ had a better life than what he was given, because there was no-one that deserved it more.

You sniffed and forced your tears away, trying to focus on the task at hand. It didn't take long to locate the first aid kit and within a minute you were back in your bedroom, where JJ lay, staring up at your ceiling with his chest moving up and down in a motion that proved he was trying to hold his own tears in. Your heart broke at the sight, and you bit down on your wobbling lip as you moved towards him. His eyes met yours when you were close enough, stood in front of him on your bed. You smiled softly.

"Hey, honey," you soothed as he slowly sat up, grimacing at the obvious pain from his side as he did so. Despite his pain, he smirked back at you.

"Hi, baby."

Stepping closer, effectively between his legs, you smiled as his hands wound around and grabbed at your legs, almost as if he was grounding himself, focusing all his attention onto you. You took a moment to take him in as you pressed the wet rag you'd also grabbed on his face, beginning to clean the cut on his eyebrow. It wasn't too deep, thank god, you thought. You feared for the day where one cut might be too deep and one blow too strong, and the thought of JJ, strong and hot headed and impulsive and passionate, might not being able to drag himself out of the house of hell and getting to anyone for help, to you, to John B, to Pope or Kie, scared the shit out of you to put it simply. JJ was so strong, but there was only so much he could take, and you dreaded the day when that would come. You could only hope it never, and in the meantime do your best to prevent it. You let out a shaky breath as you continued to clean the blood from his face, gently dabbing at his torn lip as he hissed. "I'm sorry hon," you murmured, feeling your gut twist at the sight of him in pain.

"I'm okay," he breathed out, only it was shaky and you both knew it to be a lie. You said nothing though, not wanting to start an argument that night. You'd had countless in situations like these, where you'd tell him he needs to get away from his dad and he'd tell you its not that easy and that nothing fucking is on this island, and you'd try and tell him you understand that but you hate seeing him like that, beaten to a pulp, sometimes barely even able to move, and that you were scared to lose him. He'd tell you that you were too good for him, you deserved better, you deserved more, and you'd cry and tell him to shut up, that he was your best friend and all you ever needed and you'd always be there for him, and he would shake his head and deny it all with tears streaming down both your faces until you collapsed into each other and fell asleep with your limbs intertwined whatever mood you'd gone to sleep in. There was something about that night that told you not to argue, not to push him, just clean him up and hold him and let him know that he wasn't alone in this world. His eyes met yours once more. "I'm okay." He repeated, as if you hadn't heard him the first time.

All you could do was nod, and wiping the last bit of blood from his face, you quickly went over the cuts with disinfectant, JJ's grip tightening on the backs of your legs as you continued to tend to every last bit of him. Finishing on his face, you placed a kiss on each and every cut, bruise or scrape that was etched into his skin. He let out a shaky breath, one hand moving up and landing on your back, rubbing up and down as his forehead rested on your shoulder. Running your own hands through his blonde locks, you pressed your nose to the top of his head as you held him close to you. It wasn't long before you felt the tears soak through the material of your shirt (which was technically JJ's shirt, but that didn't matter much.) and his body started to shake against your own, chest heaving and hands shaking.

"I hate him," you heard him mutter. You closed your eyes, wrapping your arms around him tighter, one hand clutching the back of his neck as the other rubbed soothing patterns onto his back. JJ shook against you, hands clutching onto the sides of your shirt as his lips brushed against the side of your neck as he let out a sob. "I just - I fucking hate him! Why does he do this, why does he -? Why, why, why?"

He was muttering the word over and over again, all sense of himself lost as he sobbed into your neck. In that moment, you felt so useless, so powerless, and you knew that JJ did too. You wished you could take away all his pain, make him see that he was so loved, that you loved him entirely and surely, but all you could do in that moment was hold him tight and screw your eyes shut as you cried along with him.

"He doesn't deserve you, J," you whispered into his hair. "He doesn't deserve you one bit. You're the best son, okay. You're the best friend, the best goddamned person on this island, on this planet! You're so loved, you hear me? You're so loved, babyboy. We all love you, I love you okay. I love you more than anything."

You'd said the words a million times before, but somehow in that moment, wrapped up in each other, JJ sobbing into your chest and you holding him like a person would a child, his ear resting against your heart where he could hear every little beat, his own matching the rhythm soon after - in that moment, _you both knew it meant more. That the friendly shared 'love you's' from so many times before were different to the ones now, and yet still neither of you spoke about it. You focused on JJ, giving him the comfort he so desperately needed. And JJ focused on you, focused on your heartbeat and the sound of your breathing and the soothing words you were whispering to him, and you had no clue as to what he was thinking; that he loved you, so fucking much. JJ Maybank didn't know what to do with that, to love someone so completely and honestly like he loved you, beyond the point of friendship and into the unknown territory of _in-love _absolutely _terrified him. But he knew it to be true, he was in love with you.

And as you forced him to take his shirt off so you could inspect the bruises surrounding his stomach and chest, laying a gentle kiss onto each and every one of them as he started at you with pure adoration in his eyes, he thought about your relationship - fears of you getting bored of him, wanting more than the island life and more than him, fears of you leaving him for something or someone simply more. Realising that he was no good like he'd always said, always suspected. But then you gazed at him with a certain glint in your eyes that he knew was reflecting in his own, and you were pressing your lips to his in a soft caress that dimmed all thoughts from his head and the question of 'are you bored yet?' fell flat on his lips as you ate them, chewed it up and spat it straight back out.

That conversation could come later, he supposed.

JJ's jaw clenched as he took in the sight of you, skin glowing in the late night sun that was slowly fading in the moons advance. The kegger had begun only an hour or so before, and yet the beach was filled with people already - varying of Pogues, Tourons and Kooks.

Among them all was you, red cup placed in your hands as you laughed at something the guy in front of you was saying, a small smile on the boys lips as he watched you. JJ felt something twist in his gut, suddenly feeling nauseous as he was stood a bit away from you, taking in the sight with malice in his blue eyes. He didn't know the guy that much was for sure, which could only mean one thing; he was definitely a Touron. That also probably meant that he was one of the few people at the party that didn't know JJ or anything of his reputation for being a bit too hot headed. JJ couldn't decide if that was a good or bad thing.

"Dude," John B slapped a hand on his shoulder, effectively snapping his trance at the pair across the beach. JJ turned towards his best friend, a smirk on John B's lips as their eyes met. "You're gonna poke holes into that guys head the way you're glaring at him man."

JJ rolled his eyes, his head once again moving to look back towards your figure. You didn't look mad at the attention the guy was giving you, and that sent a trail of fury in JJ's veins. "Who is that guy, man?" He asked instead of replying to John B's playful taunts. John B seemed to take note of that and simply shook his head. Fucking clueless, he thought.

"Dunno," John B replied as he took a swig of the beer in his hands. "Some Touron, probably." He glanced at his best friends face and noticed the glare darken in JJ's eyes. He suddenly shifted, blocking his view of you and the guy, ignoring JJ's grunt of displeasure at his move. "Don't start anything, J. Alright?"

JJ scoffed. "Me?" He chuckled darkly. "Nah man, you know I'd never start anything," he patted John B's chest twice. "I'm not the fighting type." JJ knew that John B could make out the sarcastic drawl to his words, and looking away from the brunette's eyes JJ was glancing back at you. His features shifted dramatically as he saw the guy take a step closer to your body, and despite the somewhat uncomfortable smile on your face you never seemed to object to the move. JJ felt the anger in his veins grow. "Fuck this!"

John B stopped him before he could take another step, shoving his chest so that he stumbled backwards. "Don't even think about it," JB warned. From afar, Pope seemed to take notice of the two and began to walk towards the seething blonde and his brunette best friend. "Pope, man tell him," John B practically pleaded as the most level headed of the group arrived at their side. It didn't take long for Pope to realise what the source of JJ's anger was, spotting you and the guy, completely oblivious to what was going on. "What are you planning on doing, huh?"

"He's all over her," JJ simply said - as if that was enough of an excuse for his anger. Pope and John B shared a glance. "I'm just gonna go over there and see if she's alright, alright?"

"Why do you care if he's all over her?" Pope raised his eyebrows. "You're not her boyfriend."

That faltered JJ's stance, and for a split second he looked away from you - still laughing, both hands gripping the cup in your hands, bikini clad top on full show for unwelcome eyes to wander. He clenched his jaw tighter, teeth clashing in his mouth, as he thought about Pope's words. Was it technically true; wasn't he your boyfriend? He didn't know - neither of you did. You hadn't spoken about anything, the changes in your relationship coming almost naturally so that neither of you cared to at first.

First, there was the no Pogue-on-Pogue macking rule. Second, there was something so deliciously thrilling about keeping your relationship from everyone else - no room for drama or prying eyes, or so he thought. But the unknown was beginning to scare him, and all he wanted was answers.

It was as if putting a label on what you both were would potentially put an end to everything, all the kissing, cuddling, secret touches, lingering looks, whispered endearments. The pair of you were too young for this shit, JJ thought. Thinking so hard about what you are or weren't. And god forbid you'd both come to regret it all; JJ couldn't let that happen. He wouldn't.

"I'm not gonna do anything," he said simply, and shoved his way past his friends before they could do anything else. He approached you, your eyes immediately catching his and a large grin overtaking the features of your face as he came closer. The guy seemed to notice your shift in attention and he turned too, eyes widening a bit at the sight of the blonde stood in front of him. JJ tried to smile naturally, his too sharp teeth secretly grinding together. "Hey," he chirped as if he was talking to an old friend. "How're you doing, man? I'm JJ."

You hid a laugh behind your hand, having no clue as to what JJ was trying to achieve but finding the obviously fake enthusiasm rather hilarious in that moment. Over his shoulder, you noticed John B and Pope watching with careful eyes, and everything seemed to click in your mind. _JJ was obviously planning on starting something. _You decided to get yourself and your somewhat boyfriend slash best friend out of the situation before anything could happen, the poor Touron didn't have a clue that you were kinda taken, to a fist throwing first ask questions later, tall blonde named JJ Maybank after all.

"It was nice talking to you, dude," you told the guy, his face dropping at the word dude. God, had he seriously wasted all that time flirting with you? You grabbed JJ's hand, only for him to tug it out of yours and place it around your shoulders, blue eyes sending daggers to the nervous boy on front of you. "We're gonna go now, I think."

And with that, you led the way away from him, not missing the way JJ's eyes swooped over the guy in an almost warning manner before smirking at him. Your hand reached up and fingers intertwined with those of JJ's that were sat rather comfortably near your breast. JJ's fingers squeezed yours in response, his arm tugging you closer before he leaned down and pressed a hard kiss to the top of your head.

Once you were a good distance away from the party and its occupants on the beach, you turned in his arm, hand letting go of his to wrap both your arms around his waist. He kept the same arm around your shoulder and placed his other on your bare back between the high waist line of your shorts and the knot of your bikini, long fingers spacing out and rubbing soothing patterns into the skin.

You sighed as you looked at him. "What was that about?" You questioned, a small smile tugging on your lips regardless of the seriousness in your question as you demanded answers.

"That guy was all over you," JJ grunted, his eyes leaving yours to glare at the space where you stood a minute before talking to the said guy. "He was practically drooling all over you. I saved you, y'know. You should be thanking me, babe."

You laughed, and rolling your eyes you reached up to touch his face, thumb smoothing over the still darkened skin under his eye from the confrontation of his dad earlier that week. Leaning up on your toes, aware that nobody could see the action from the distance you and JJ were stood from the kegger, you pressed a kiss to the bruised skin, JJ's eyes closing at the feel of your lips against his skin, a soft exhale leaving his chest.

"Were you jealous, baby?" You teased gently, chuckling at his scoff in response to your accusation. "Relax, J. You don't have to be. I've only got eyes for you."

That seemed to catch his attention. JJ pulled away from you a bit, blue eyes suddenly serious and pink lips forming a tight line. For a second you worried you'd said something wrong, suddenly afraid that he would pull back completely and distance himself from you like you feared one day he would - it was only a matter of time before he realised what you had was a mistake, you worried. That he'd get bored of you and realise there was so many other people he could have. The thought alone made you sick, and you forced the intruding thoughts to the back of your head as JJ's eyes trailed over your face.

"What's wrong?" You couldn't take it anymore. The silence was deafening, even with the music and chatter of the teenagers behind you lingering in the night air. JJ seemed to get hold of his bearings at that moment, shaking his head and leaving a hand from your body to run through his hair. You watched him all the while, lip between your teeth. "J, what's wrong baby?"

JJ wished he had an answer, but he simply didn't. He had no idea what was wrong, no way of telling you the thoughts that were running through his mind. JJ had never been good with words, or emotions, or anything much like that at all. And so he just shook his head, sighing deeply as his hands caressed your face. You welcomed the touch, head leaning into his hold as he smiled down at you. You knew there was something he wanted to say to you; you had known him for so long, felt like all your life, and you could see right through his lies. However you never said a thing, once again. In that moment, it felt enough to just be by his side.

"Can we go?" He muttered quietly, despite no-one being around you. You smiled softly, eyes staring into each others there on the beach. "Just wanna go to sleep with you," he murmured that time, leaning down and kissing the side of your lips, not completely which had you grumbling quietly.

"Course, baby," you whispered as you looked at him, feeling nothing but adoration and love for the boy in front of you. "Let's go."

And so after kissing him under the moonlight, feet sunken in the damp sand as the sea splashed around you, the kegger still going strong in the distance, JJ took your hands and led the way back to the Chateau, where despite both your similar thoughts you crawled into bed in the spare bedroom and fell asleep together, your head resting on his chest with his cheek pressed against your head, arms wrapped around forms and legs intertwined.

It was hot, blistering heat panning down on your form as you lay on the hammock outside the Chateau, eyes closed with one arm resting over them in a fleeting attempt to block the sun out. Despite the unbearable temperature of the day, JJ lay in between your legs, perfectly muscular arms wrapped around your waist as his head rested on your stomach that was covered only by one of his infamous cut-off sleeve shirts, only a bikini underneath it keeping you modest.

One of your hands played with the hair on the back of his neck, twirling the strands in between your fingers and repeating the process over and over again, JJ letting out a low him as you did so.

It was just the two of you, the quiet and peacefulness welcome on the hot day as you cuddled as close as you could and as much as you wanted, nothing off limits away from the prying eyes of your best friends. Both Kie and Pope were working, John B having traded your company for that of Sarah Cameron's for the day, and so that only left the pair of you to do anything and everything you pleased. JJ had let out a joyous whoop when you'd discovered the fact, and you'd only managed to get out of bed half an hour before as he took full advantage of having the Chateau to yourselves for the morning. The original plan was to go surfing, but as soon as you'd stepped out of the house the both of you seemed to come to a silent mutual agreement that lounging around in the sun on the porch was a much more welcoming idea instead.

And so that's what the pair of you had done; there was barely a word uttered between you both as you lay there, JJ's skin slightly sticky and damp on your own due to the heat, but neither of you seemed to mind as you simply closed your eyes and basked in the quiet, content with doing nothing with your favourite person.

JJ's hands had moved so that he was caressing your side, your skin revealed with the low cut of his shirt as his thumb rubbed patterns into your skin. In its wake it left goosebumps, JJ's touch never failing to make you shiver even in all the years you had known him. He knew what effect he had on you too, he smirked as you shivered, his other hand squeezing the flesh of your hip.

You trailed your own hands down from his hair and onto the exposed flesh of his back as he lay shirtless, and you could feel the muscles under your palms clench as you let out a small giggle. JJ chuckled along, although he'd had no idea as to what it was you were laughing at in the first place. The sound of your laugh just made him happy, he supposed.

"What're you laughing at?" He murmured quietly, chin propping on your stomach and his eyes squinting up at you. He'd moved a hand down to your thigh, now kneading the flesh there as his other remained on your side and wrote unknown words into the skin there. You grinned down at him lazily, the sun and his charming aura making you feel high. Then again, you probably were high; the blunt you'd both shared a couple of minutes earlier taking its toll.

"Nothing," you hummed. "Just really, really fucking happy right now s'all."

JJ laughed, laying a kiss onto your stomach and loving the way you giggled at the action. He pressed more there, letting out dramatic sounds of various 'mwah's' as he trailed them up further until his lips were on the skin on your collarbone, continuing his assault onto your neck. JJ's tongue darted out, and your giggles had soon turned into breathy moans of approval as he sucked on the skin, his sharpened teeth sinking into the flesh not long after. You gripped the back of his neck, fingernails digging into his hairline as your sounds of pleasure rippled through the air surrounding you without a care in the world. In that moment you couldn't care less if anyone had caught you - all that mattered was JJ, all that ever mattered was JJ. He sucked gently on your flesh, adding to the bruises that already littered your chest, stomach, thighs, anywhere he could get his mouth earlier. You both knew questions would be asked from the others, in the high temperatures of the Outer Banks your skin was almost always revealed. But again, neither of you cared.

Not when JJ's mouth left your skin with a satisfying pop, his eyes taking in the sight of the freshly bruised flesh, a content smile on his lips. He leaned down and peppered a kiss to the lovebite, soothing his tongue over it afterwards. You let out a sigh, suddenly breathless under his heated gaze.

JJ shuffled his body up and closer, one leg in between yours as his right hand came up and held your face tenderly in his palm, the rough skin of his thumb swiping along your brow as he grinned cheekily down at you. "You're fucking beautiful y'know that?"

Your cheeks blazed, an almost embarrassed laugh leaving your mouth and you shook your head at his words. JJ looked offended suddenly, his brows furrowing as he nodded furiously. "Um, yes you are. Don't you dare say that you're not because you're, fucking, beautiful, okay," between each word he left lingering kisses to your lips with his own, and you knew it was probably the weed in his system that had spurred him to such a romantic confrontation, but you welcomed it regardless, giggling against his lips as one leg hooked around his waist. "Fucking god, you keep doing that and we won't be moving from this hammock all day."

"I'm not complaining about that," you replied and pressed your lips harder to his. JJ let out a groan, his body impulsively pushing down further onto yours, his hips directly on yours, chests pressed close together, his arm holding him up enough near your head so he didn't suffocate you completely, his other kneading the soft flesh of your bikini bottom clad ass. Your own hands caressed the skin of his abdomen, fingers sprawled and feeling his abs tense underneath the tips. You pulled away only slightly, taking in the sight of his flushed face, his eyes bright and yearning, flashing with something you couldn't quite place and his lips swollen and so very red. "Thank you, by the way." You whispered as you reached up and pushed the hair from his face. "You're pretty beautiful yourself, hon."

JJ seemed to understand what you were getting at then, his chest heaving with a chuckle as he shook his head at you. He leaned down and placed a kiss to your nose, returning his head to snuggle into your neck as you were once again wrapped around each other. "Thanks, I know," he joked (possibly) as his hands resumed their pattern of soothing shapes on your ribs. You hummed a random tune, the calming atmosphere returning around the pair of you on the porch. It was quiet for a few more minutes, your eyes closing involuntarily and almost falling asleep right then and there before JJ spoke up again. "You're my best friend, y'know."

The words were so quiet you almost missed them, but with the silence surrounding you, you'd heard them loud and clear. Your eyes opened and you glanced down at the boy laying atop of you, his face hidden in the skin of your neck.

"I would hope so," you laughed slightly, having no clue as to where JJ was planning on going with the fact. "You're my best friend too. I'd be lost without you and the guys."

"No," JJ shook his head. He shifted in his place, eyes connecting with yours as you sent him a questioning look, quirking your eyebrow. JJ sighed deeply, sucking his lower chapped lip into his mouth for a second before releasing it and allowing your finger to trace the outline of it. "You don't get it. You're like, my best friend. I know it sounds stupid and I'm probably a selfish fucker for saying it, but I'd put you above everyone else. You are above everyone else. And like, I don't know how else to explain it but you mean the fucking world to me. Without you, I'd be nothing. If I lost you, I'd fucking die."

His voice broke at the end, and it damn near broke your heart as you hushed him gently, arms circling around his head and holding it close to your chest. You kissed his forehead, hearing him sniffle before he raised his head and met your eyes, the sea blue crystallised by unshed tears.

"I feel like I've known you my whole life, and I just - I don't know what I'd do without you. I'm scared honestly, shit fucking feared of losing you, or you realising that I'm just a no good low life and you could do better, and honestly you could and I don't even know what the fuck you're doing with me," JJ chuckled darkly and you shook your head, feeling tears prick at your own eyes at his words. "And I don't even know if you want to be with me, or if what we're doing is some mistake you're gonna regret, but you're my best friend."

The earnest in his voice made your heart clench in your chest. You'd seen JJ cry numerous times, seen his facade break and his world around him to crash, seen the emotions pour out of him with so much force whether they be happy, sad, fucking hysterical or ecstatic; and you'd loved him through it all. The realisation of just how much you loved him, that went beyond friendship and into pure, earnest and genuine love for the boy in front of you, made your head swirl and butterflies in your stomach to clash heavily against your ribcage. Something warm spread throughout you, and you welcomed the feeling with open arms. You loved JJ Maybank, purely and honestly, with every fibre in your being.

"J," you murmured carefully, gripping his damp cheeks and forcing him to look at you. His face was unreadable, but you could see in his eyes what he was feeling in that moment. "You're fucking crazy, alright? Everything about you is so damned chaotic and I love every bit of it. I love every bit of you, so much. Do you know how scared I was that you would take all this back? Regret it all, leave me for someone better. I was scared shitless, because I cannot lose you. You're my best friend, and all I wanna do is spend all my time with you."

"I've never felt like this before," you whispered as JJ's gaze softened, hands gripping your hips and squeezing gently. You traced the worry in his brows, easing it away, traced the bottoms of his eyes, the slope of his nose and the outline of his lips. He breathed against your fingertips, the soft exhale making the hairs on your arms raise. "I love you, J. And if you think you're ever gonna get rid of me, you're terribly fucking mistaken."

JJ chuckled at that, blonde head falling on your chest as he breathed in and out, seemingly catching his breath at your confession. "Thank god," he breathed, cheeky gaze raising to catch yours as he grinned, suddenly surging forward and catching your lips with his own in a deep and passionate embrace that had you feeling dizzy at the pure feel of it all. "I was scared you were gonna tell me to fuck off, thought you were using me for my body for a minute there, babe."

You full on laughed, breaking away from his eager lips to let it out, your hands clutching his cheeks and your legs squashing his body atop yours from where they were wrapped around his waist. "You're such a fucker, J." He kissed along your jaw in response, biting down softly. "God, that weed must have been some new level shit."

"Nah," JJ shook his head and grinned. "You just drive me crazy, babygirl." His hands wandered from your ribs higher till his fingertips just slipped under the material of your bikini top. He pressed a further series of tender kisses to your chest, trailing them down and then back up to meet your lips once more. He gazed lovingly at you, looking golden in the sunlight. "I love you too, by the way. Just so y'know."

You grinned softly, catching his bottom lip with your teeth when he began to pull away, pulling a delicious groan from him. "I know," you echoed back to him, lips raising on their own accord to match JJ's almost shy smile at your declaration. "Hey, can we stay home today? Wanna watch the sunset with you later."

JJ snorted, laying one last lingering kiss to your lips before snuggling back into your neck, his eyelashes brushing against your delicate skin. "Whatever you want baby," he chuckled, breath warm. "Whatever you want."

Yours and JJ's (now established, thankfully) relationship only progessed from there; it was in the little things, spending every moment you could get with each other, always touching in some kind of way whether it to be hands curled around one another's, fingers dancing on skin, shoulders and arms brushing, legs squished beside each other. It was all new, and it was all so exciting, and any worries that the two of you may had shared earlier vanished and in their wake came new thoughts of the future, of which you'd spend together.

If the gang had noticed the change, they hadn't mentioned it. Though you already knew Kie suspected something a long time ago, and probably Pope and John B too, due to JJ's little episode at the kegger that time. But you and JJ rejoiced in the unknown, relationship growing stronger each day all the while. You weren't trying to hide it - god forbid, you'd both been waiting so long for it, but you hadn't officially announced you were boyfriend and girlfriend either. There wasn't anything to say, you thought. The relationship came naturally, years of close friendship gradually turning into something more for the pair of you, and you'd both agreed it would be way funnier for the gang to come to their own conclusions and confront you about it themselves. However long that would take them.

The Pogues had driven the HMS Pogue out to the marsh, planning on drinking, swimming and simply hanging out for the day. Sarah had joined you on that particular day, body pressed close to John B's as the group lounged around on the boat, you and JJ wrapped around each other as usual.

His muscular arm was wrapped around your shoulders as you sprawled out close together, your legs thrown over his as your body angled towards his own, head resting on his shoulder. Your hands held the one thrown over you, absentmindedly playing with his ring adorned fingers. His other gripped your knee laying over his, thumb rubbing gentle patterns into the tanned skin there.

Nobody had mentioned your closeness - it was nothing new, the pair of you had always been so close, always touching even before becoming a couple. But Sarah wasn't as close with you as the others, and though she was aware of how close you and JJ were, she wasn't as up to date with everything like everyone else. You'd had no idea that she always just assumed the pair of you were dating, until that day.

"So, you guys are like, a couple right?" She'd asked out of the blue, eyes directed onto you and JJ. Kie suddenly sat up straight, sunglasses raising to rest atop her head rather than on her nose, Pope beside her seemingly taking as much interest, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees as he listened.

From beside Sarah, John B laughed and shook his head. "Everyone thinks that," he grinned, looking to you and JJ who shared a knowing glance. Sarah looked at him in confusion. "They can't help it though, their sexual tension is through the roof."

Sarah looked even more confused. "Wait, so you guys aren't together?"

JJ cleared his throat, arm tightening around your shoulders. You squeezed his hand as you stared up at him, smiling softly at his uncertain gaze. Once he'd met your eyes, the uncertainty faded away and in its place came a cheeky kind of look, mischievous and so attractive that you had to hold yourself back from kissing him right then and there. You knew it was time to come clean; and you thought it would scare you, your relationship suddenly becoming so real, but the thought only made your insides twist and churn with nothing but excitement.

You looked back at Sarah, who's gaze was still on the pair of you, as well as everyone elses. You noted the almost giddy expression on Kie's face, the barely suppressed curiosity on Pope's, and the suddenly confused one of John B's. You almost laughed, but held it in to say, "Actually, yeah. JJ and I are together."

JJ squeezed you gently as the reactions from your friends began. Kie grinned smugly, Sarah smiled at the two of you, John B raised his eyebrows so high they almost got lost beneath his hat, and Pope slapped his knees before he lurched backwards with his arms raised above his head.

"I knew it, man," Pope shook his head, though a smile was growing on his handsome features. "I knew something's been up with you two."

You laughed as Kie scoffed, "You knew? I had it figured out from the very beginning, I could tell something had changed." She eyed you. "And I was specifically told that nothing was going on, you big fat liar!"

"I'm sorry," you chuckled. "In my defence, when you asked me about it then I actually didn't know if we were like, together together. We hadn't spoken about it yet."

JJ grinned and pulled your body closer, leaning down and pressing a sloppy kiss to the top of your head as your face was mushed into his bare chest. "Yeah, and who can blame her for wanting to keep my Sex God body all to herself?" He asked rhetorically, laughing when you slapped him on the chest with a playful eye roll.

"Wait, so are you a couple now?" John B questioned, puzzled. He looked between the pair of you, your arms wrapped around his waist, one of his still around your shoulder and hand resting between your boobs. The other brushed hair from your face, JJ's gaze loving and soft as he looked down at you before looking back towards his best friend. John B scrunched his face. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"We didn't tell anyone man," JJ shrugged carelessly. His fingers had began to play with your hair. "Figured it would be funnier for you guys to find out yourselves," he grinned. "So congratulations, you guys now know. Your reward is the knowledge that we fuck now!"

The gang groaned at his ludicrous words, and you slapped his chest with more force than you had before, just slightly as you scoffed and attempted to raise your head and move position to get a good look at him, but all JJ did was grab your hand and pull it upwards to his lips, kissing each of your knuckles instead.

You rolled as your eyes as you turned back to your friends. "We're sorry about not telling you," you said almost sheepishly. "We only really figured out what this was between us a few days ago, and by that time we just kinda forgot to mention it. This whole thing just kinda happened, we didn't know if it would last or become serious."

"And it has become serious now?" Pope voiced everyone's thoughts, glancing between the two of you. "Like, you're together as a couple. You love each other?"

You and JJ shared a look, the pair of you smiling softly as your hand raised and brushed the blonde strands of hair that fell over his brow, his own reaching up and holding the side of your jaw, his thumb swiping along your cheek lovingly. The others shared glances, unknown to you and JJ as you seemed to be lost inside your own little world for a moment.

When you came to again, you never turned from his eyes, watching the sea blue irises light up at your words; "Yeah, I love him, the fucker."

You heard a collective round of replies, but the feel of JJ's lips on yours for a second forced your attention on him and only him, your hands on his cheeks as you held him there for a full minute before pulling away, leaving a couple more little pecks on his lips. He whispered, "I love you." before he turned his attention to your friends, your smile so bright.

"I thought she'd get bored of me," he revealed unexpectedly. The Pogues (plus Sarah) all looked to him with various expressions of confusion, your own face matching theirs for a moment. JJ felt a smile tug on his lips as your hands massaged his scalp, nails scraping gently against the skin beneath. "But of course she couldn't, I mean I'm the fucking best am I not?"

The gang rolled their eyes as his normal cheeky expression returned, though they all smiled at the pair of you cuddled close together on the seats of the HMS Pogue, realising it was the happiest they'd ever seen the both of you. John B let out a sigh, shaking his head in disbelief. "Well, it's about time anyway."

And just like that, everything went back to normal. You knew they'd have more questions in the future, prepared to answer any and every one of them when they came. But your little group swayed their attention elsewhere sat out on their little boat, laughing and joking at the next topic of conversation, bright eyes and giddy smiles on every face as you drank, swam and sunbathed out there on the marsh. JJ was only looking at you though, skin golden and blue eyes shining. You loved him, you thought. How could he ever think you'd get bored of him, with his charm and quick witted words, sarcastic drawl and tendency to get into trouble, his obsession with weed and putting others before himself always, his beautiful mind and ridiculously good looks to match. He was yours, all yours. And you loved him. JJ grinned. "Are you bored yet?" He asked, just once, loving the sound of your giggle as you shook your head at his antics. "No? Good, because I'm never gonna get bored of you."

[g-lbertblythe]

Loving You Is A Losing Game

Pairings: Rafe Cameron x the reader, JJ Maybank x the reader

Summary: You decided to go after Sarah when she had got lost with John B. In order to find her, you have to save JJ from Rafe first.

Could be some grammer and spelling mistakes.

What the hell was going on?

You asked yourself because Sarah wasn't around for you to ask her. She left the Midsummer party that was in honor of his father. There's got to be a good reason for that, you thought to yourself. You were curious and a little bit worried about her whereabouts. You've seen her with one of the pogues, with John B the other day. He was working for Cameron's and known for his really crowded beach parties. You have seen him and Sarah at the dock and she was suspiciously acting different since then and it wasn't even that long ago. Also you could literally sense in the air that something's off. Not knowing what's happening driving you crazy, you got to know. You see Rafe and Topper chatting, they must know something. On your way to them, you spotted the waiter and stopped him. You didn't recognize the blonde until he turned around and face you. His shirt was not in order, there was a cut on his lower lips left side and the way he holds the tray was so loose, he was too close to drop it and it even got one empty glass on it. You knew the guy, he was JJ and you knew he was friend with John B who you think with Sarah right now because you saw her and him talking just before she got lost. You had questions about that. Lots of questions. Before you were able to approach to Sarah and John B, they were nowhere in sight like in blink of an eye. You only went to talk to some boring people for a second because your mother eyed you to do so.

"Are you working here?" You asked and it sounded more suspicious than you intend to be, your eyebrow went a little up without your willing.

"No I just like serving drinks to kooks for fun." He said violently. "Purpose of my life."

You ignored what he said and decided to turn this into an advantage. "I want tequila. Please."

"You are a minor." He said examining you up and down. Then his eyes met yours. He was a minor, too.

" Like you're the most sensitive person about minor drinking."

"I'll be back within a second." He said in a tone that is not very convincing. You were sure he wasn't even here for working. He was the living proof that something was going on.

JJ was about to leave the pary because his misson was done, he had delivered John B's message to Sarah, now he got to get out of here. Then he noticed Rafe and Topper and couple of his other friends saw him. He paced up his steps as he saw they were coming his way. Now, he got to get out of here really fast, preferably before getting beating up.

When Rafe punched him in the face at the second of floor of the Cameron's household, he once more decided that he was sick of getting beaten up but there were four of them. Still he pushed Rafe of off him and ready to attack but somebody else hold him and he got another beat in his stomach.

There was no way out of here. He got himself trapped, how much of a stupid idea to get in the house when everyone else was outside? He sweared himself inside.

"What the hell?" JJ heard a voice that doesn't belong to none of the boys who were beating him currently. He was grateful because the voice of the source made them stop. Rafe let go of his collar but still someone else holding him still so he can't slip out.

Rafe walked forward to the entrance while wiping the blood on his hand. "Just go Y/N. Nothing to see here."

JJ saw you standing at the doorsill, totally shocked by the scene in front of you. You looked at JJ's bloody face and noticed that he's breathing noisily. God, it's good that you followed him in here. They were about to bash him up.

Then you turned to Rafe, probably he was the person who's responsible for what's happening here. "You're about to murder someone and you want me to stay away from it?" You asked Rafe who looks like not patient enough to listen to what you have to say. "Let him go." You cut it short.

"We aren't murdering him, we are just teaching him a second lesson about not taking a step here ever again. Isn't that right?" Rafe turned to JJ and slapped his face in fake friendly way. It made JJ aggressively try to free himself from Topper who's holding him behind but Topper had a firm grip on him.

"I'll call the security." You threatened Rafe, he thought you won't do it even though the expression you put on your face was telling him the other way. He knew you had a soft spot for him as he does for you. He got to that conclusion because you were distant and cold with people you don't know and always hide behind smart sentences. You rarely show affection to the ones you do love but he always finds you very caring and sympathetic around him. And the the same thing goes for him. That's why he knew you wouldn't say anything.

He just laughed and was ready to punch JJ again.

"You think I won't do it?" You tried to stop him but he punched him so hard on some part of JJ's body you couldn't see. JJ moaned with pain. Then Rafe again turned to you with his evil smirk on his face. God, you knew him since you were kids. How did he get this way? He wasn't like this. Maybe never an angel but not this satanic sadistic person either. He wasn't known with his kindness to other people but you had a chance to get to know him more than anyone because your relationship with Sarah enable you to know each other since you were kids. He was just hurt like everybody else, he only had a very unpleasant way of showing it.

"The security is here to protect us from people like him. They won't do a shit."

You know until the security comes they would still beat him to death and got away with it because you were all rich and the security,indeed, were for them. You were the ones who were paying them.

Rafe got closer to you and tried to put his hand on your cheeks but you blocked him. "Look, I don't want you to witness what's happening here. Just go downstairs and enjoy the party. We wouldn't want your lovely dress to get dirty." He said, looking at your eyes as he was waiting for acceptance from you but you only glared at him. God, he could be the greatest ass sometimes.

"I'm calling your mom." You passed through Rafe and walk towards to Topper. "I am sure she wouldn't be pleased to hear his son is a some sort of vigilante now. Don't you think?" You could see the fear of what his mother migt do when she finds out in Topper's eyes. His looks went between me and Rafe but he eventually let JJ go. Rafe gave him a disappointed and angry look as he was passing by Rafe in order to leave the room but Topper shrugged his shoulders and said "What?". Topper's giving up meant the others had no other choice than withdrawal.

Everybody knew how much strict his mother was and he would do anything to please her. They did had to leave even though they didn't want to. You made sure by watching them get out of the room. When everybody was gone, you kneeled next to JJ. He was wiping the blood on his face with his white shirts sleeves.

"Are you okay?" You asked watching him do what he does and be careful to give him enough space he wouldn't elbow you in the process of clearing his face.

He just nodded and whispered something that sounds like a thanks. Kept brushing his face until all of his sleeves were all red. His old bruise on his lip was renewed and had new companions. He whimpered whenever he touched the parts close to the bone. The way he cleans his face was so fast as If he just wants to be finished as soon as possible and leave. Or it was just a regular and boring procedure for him because most of the times you see him, you see him with bruised face. It must have been a pogue thing, you guessed. You heard that he has a gun too.

You kept watching his hand movements until he stopped and looked at you curiously. Wondering what you were still doing here and you've been watching very carefully. He didn't even tried to stop himself from staring at you. You were waiting , your hands on on your legs, to him to be finished. You guessed he was done. "I want something in return."

"Of course you want." He rolled his eyes. He attempted to get up, put his hand on his sides to balance himself. You pulled yourself back and also got up.

"Do you know where Sarah is?" You asked.

"How can I know that? Aren't you her bestfriend?" He said, he held his stomach. Probably was hurting because of all the kicking and all. Still, he had enough energy to lie to you. You knew he has something to do with Sarah's absence. You were not a fool, in fact, you were an excellent observer.

"Okay, you decided you wanna play this game. " You got closer to him so he could see your face clearly. It's time to be intimidating now and show him you'd know more than he thinks you know."I know she's with John B. Something is going on and I have to know. I am sure you know where they are."

He didn't seem so affected by your intimidating voice. He just looked at your eyes blankly. "Did you ever wonder why your bestfriend didn't tell you anything? "

You were actually obsessed with this thing because of that.Sarah would tell you everything, well except this but you never thought it was because she wanted it to keep it hidden from particularly you. You didn't let JJ get into your head. "None of your business. Now tell me where she is."

"I am telling you nothing." He said daringly and started walking out. Why he was so secretive about where she is? You got suspicious more and more but this time even worried.

"I'm just worried about her." Your voice had softened and you thought that's why he stopped. You knew how much pogues are protective and interdepent about each other. "This isn't like her."

"You'll talk to her when she gets back. " He turned back. "Don't worry we don't bite." Walked out the door without you got a chance to answer him.

You started following him, he heard the loud sound that your heels left on the floor and carelessly, turned back to check if it was you. He didn't stop walking and didn't even say anything about you following him. You watched him behind as his hair went up and down with his every big step. You caught up to him, you had to run, he was so fast. He just gave you a glimpse when you were in the same alingment.

"I'll call the security." You said, having hard times keeping up with him. "You obliviously sneaked into the party. Attacked the guests."

"I didn't attack the guests, I was just minding my own business, they attacked me." He protested as he kept pacing, not even facing you. He was so focused on leaving here. Yet again, he turned to you as his face had a new expression: confused. "You just saw them."

"Well, I think the security would rather believing me than believing a notorious delinquent." He stopped walking and his whole body and his face met with your lifted brow and smirking in pleasure of having an advantage face. He got little steps towards you and squinted his eyes but in a amusing way.

"Are you blackmailing me?" He said that in very offending way. He heard you are a smart mouth but he always thought you were a quiet, minding her own business type of person. It was the first time you two are actually talking. He didn't expect you to be so, well, demanding and persistent.

"No. " You said softly. "I'm just giving you conceivable reasons to tell me where Sarah is. That's all."

He chuckled looking at the ground with a little head shake but he poked his cheek with his tongue to contain himself. He was in a hurry. When he managed to get a firm face, your eyes met. "Call the security If you want, they'll just throw me away but I'm already leaving" He said and gave you an fake smile and begin to walk again. "Try something else." He said at your failed attempt but you saw it as a dare. He took a quick turn unexpectedly. It made you almost trip and left you behind him. You noticed he did that avoid something. Someone. It strucked you in that moment. You looked back to confirm. He startled because he spotted Rafe's friends near the stairs standing.

"You know Rafe would like to know your whereabouts. " You stopped him and pointed with your finger where Kelce and Jeremy drinking and talking to each other so loudly. It looked like they are fighting. " It looks like he's not giving up." This time he looked indecisive about what to do. His eyed for a way out. He nearly growled in frustration. You found the voice amusing but didn't laugh. You wanted him to take you seriously.

"I'll get you out of here without you getting beaten up again, If you take me to Sarah. Is that where you're going, isn't it?" He squinted his eyes, deciding his next move. You were afraid he might start running, you wouldn't be able to catch him If he did.

Fortunately, he chose not to run away, probably haven't noticed you're not fast enough. He turned on his heels and muttered angrily. "Just take me to the beach."

You tried to hide your excitement over getting what you seek. Contrary the general idea, your life was dull as fourth season of a really bad tv series. It was your first time you had so much attraction in one night. You felt guilty as soon as you thought this was a adventurous night. Your friend was nowhere to be found for god sake, you said to yourself. And you had something very important to say her.

You spotted Rafe and Topper at the other side of the floor, waiting for JJ to show up. Before you get too close to Rafe and Topper, you two stop to think your way out.

"There's no way we can go that way. Let's try the other way. " He said hiding himself behind a column.

"What other way? There's no other way." You said checking constantly if they see you.

"We can jump from the window?" He suggested like it is an easy thing to do. He must have no idea how high is this house.

"This is the second floor." You felt like stating because he seems so down with the idea.

"So?" He said, finding very weird that you object. His blonde hair swinged from his head shaking. His face was covered in bruises, one on his right cheeck bone, some on his jawline. He squinted his eyes even though it must have hurt to do it.

"I am not jumping from the second floor. " You emphasized. "I am wearing a dress."

He took a glimpse of what you were wearing. It was a long black dress that covers your breats and waist perfectly. It was so long that hems of it were mostly sweeping the ground. Your hair was a loose bun, it looked very natural although there were so many daisy clasps on your hair in the name of the Midsummer.

"You'll get a new one." He said. "I am jumping of the window, you can stay here with your pretty dress. " Before he was about to leave he checked out your dress once more. "I really mean the last part." He winked. You didn't take anything he said seriously. There was no way you are jumping of the window. You stopped him by holding his arm. The second he stopped and faced you, you let go. "You are already hurt. You can't jump. I have a better idea. The safer way out."

"I don't need to do a safer way." He said in a low voice.

"You are one dangerous guy, yes, so I've noticed." You heard the some of the words of Rafe and Topper so you checked once more If they could see you. When you made sure that they don't you turned your head to JJ. "Don't worry, this won't spoil your reputation, bad guy. I'll distract them, you go behind their back, okay?"

He nodded in agreement. You intend to take action, you had another thought. He could've leave without you when he got downstairs. "You wouldn't bail me on, would you?" You asked him, directly looking at his really blue eyes to see if they match his answer or not. You sincerely wanted to trust him but not entirely sure that he won't leave you.

He was taken aback the look upon your face, your eyes wandered his so tensely he got nervous. And what you said or the way you said it. He couldn't be sure but it sounded from the heart. "No. " He said, trying to make it sound reassuring.

You nodded slowly before you stopped the eye contact with him, you made sure he wasn't faking it until the last moment. Eventually took his words although you weren't hundred percent convinced but still went through your plan again in your head once more. You took a deep breath and turned on your heels and made your way to Rafe. "Wait for my signal." You said only turning your head back to JJ.

"Hey!" He grabbed your hand and made you face him."What signal?"

"I don't know." You said. "You'll know it when you see it. Stay close."

JJ murmured under his breath when you joined the two kooks in tuxedos. He got closer to three of you and hid behind a large posh plant. It had wide leaves to cover him perfectly.

"Rafe, can I talk to you?" You said after giving them a slight greeting with your head. Rafe blinked a few times after placing his hands on his pockets. You turned to Topper. "Could you get us something to drink?" You smiled politely.

As Topper attempt to leave, he was stopped by Rafe. "She wants you to leave us alone." Rafe said only eye contacting with you. " There's no need for drinks." Added this time talked directly at Topper.

"Yeah, I figured that out." Topper said in confusion before he went down. Rafe had to made sure that he made you feel like you were not a mystery to him. So stating the oblivious was his way of proving it but you didn't consider too much. He was always a little uncomfortable and a little happy that you always psychoanalyze him. You often tend to be right. You knew he was feeling like the black sheep of the family and how much he wanted his father love and approval. You thought the reason hidden behind his aggressive behaviors was this. You knew he wasn't bad underneath it all. You have witnessed it. Otherwise he wouldn't be taking his little sisters little friend so seriously. Somehow you were sure that he cares about you, in his own way at least.

You took Topper's former place as soon as he left, therefore Rafe had to turn his back on the stairs as you planned. You looked at JJ's direction without being noticed by Rafe. You saw his hair and his eyes, watching you two talk. You were glad he didn't go to jump from a window.

"What was tonight all about?" You questioned him. He was standing tall, his chin up a little too proud way and a smirk on his face. It was a disturbing smile but then again a smile at least. It was a rare thing to detect on his face lately.

"Well, it's about my father's contributions to -"

You rolled your eyes at his not so funny explanation. "I meant the shenanigans you pull in your little Fight Club?"

"Shenanigans?" He laughed looking at the ground. He was taller than you so he had to look down to meet his eyes with yours. "We had unclosed business, nothing more than that."

"Why are you doing this?" You asked him when you remembered his mood when you caught him beating JJ. It was scary, like something took over him. "This won't make your father notice you."

You normally don't get this subject but you had to draw his attention and nothing mattered to him more than being a bad son.

"I don't need you to give me a therapy, okay?" He got pretty aggressive quickly. His blue eyes got wider and he nearly spit on your face while talking. The rare smile was gone and his usual angry expression was back. Then you noticed how red his eyes are.

"I am not. I just felt an urge to warn you. The things you do will end up biting you in the ass."

"No, it's not how things work. I am just protecting what's mine, do you understand? If you're worried about that shithead, he only barks at his own territory. "

You find it hard to understand his hatred for pogues. You wanted to change the conversation because Rafe was getting angrier and you saw JJ can hear you talk and he doesn't look like he was happy with what heard or patient enough to listen to it any longer.

"I am not worried about him. I am worried about you." You said but felt like you must continue because it sounded too sentimental for your taste or Rafe's taste. "Your dad already gives you little allowance, you'll end up with nothing."

"He won't do anything If you say nothing to him or to Sarah. She wouldn't keep her mouth shut for once. " He said, you knew the threading tone in his voice comes from a habit, from his urge to protect himself from everyone. If you didn't know him any better you wouldn't know he's actually asking you not to tell anybody. He was different and mostly, difficult to understand, you think that's why his relationship with everyone was really bad. Nobody could see his real intentions behind his sick behaviors. You couldn't blame anyone, it wasn't easy to detect or once you detect it wasn't easy to sustain.

"Of course I am not going to say anything." As soon as he heard those words, he was relieved. His straight posture relaxed with an inhale, his jaw loosened and his eyes softened as he gained his good mood. He put on his crooked smile and it made the wrinkles near his mouth appear and his eyes had a similar vibe. "You can't resist me."

And the expected happened, him flirting with you for fun was the way of figuring out if he's in a good state. "Well, as much as I'd tell myself stop finding you charming when you're beating the shit out people, can't help it."

JJ could hear the things you talked and quite surprised seeing Rafe like he's...happy. Or decent for once. He thought the possibility of Rafe liking someone and the whole thing would sound so surreal if he hadn't witnessed his looks towards you. He felt bad for you though, it was Rafe after all. Then he wondered If you liked him too -because who would survive a moment with Rafe without feeling pure hatred at the end? You looked like you actually care about him. You must be a fool to like Rafe of all people, he thought. Then he remind himself he should keep himself aware of every act of you, so he wouldn't miss your "signal".

"Dont be so surprised of yourself. " said Rafe. "It's so obvious you are a bad boy loving type of girl."

You let out really loud laughter, there were even tears in the corners of your eyes. He watched you laugh with a satisfied smile on his face that he caused it.

"Bad boy loving type of girl?" You said continue to laugh, maybe more than before. You really found the way he put it very amusing. "If you were a bad boy before, you got yourself off the hook with that sentence. " You said a few seconds you calmed yourself.

"You don't deny it." Rafe said, with an intense look in his eyes. It made you a little terrified, you forgot you were laughing seconds ago. Everything with Rafe was so tense.

"Deny what? That I like bad boys?"

Rafe nodded and waited for you answer as the other blonde did wonder the same thing. JJ felt like you caught up with your conversation and forgot that he's there waiting for you to rescue him but also he was caught up with it too. He found himself guessing Rafe might be right about something for the first time in his life. JJ felt disgusted with himself agreeing with Rafe but you were kind of girl who looks so tough like nothing could hurt you. They way you talk, the way you move like simple things as you lift your eyebrows or smile- they looked distant, arrogant and so satisfied with yourself. You looked like you are not easy to break but you were pretty sure and made everyone sure of that you could break another, could read their minds. In his brief interaction with you, JJ could easily picked this things up. People like you thinks they can fix anything, so also made JJ think you would like the danger and the attraction of a bad boy, would try to make him want to be better. It was so clichè maybe but still felt like it.

"Do you really think I'm that transparent?" You asked Rafe, you wanted to know if he thinks he got you all figured out. "What made you come to that conclusion?"

Rafe shrugged like he don't know but his eyes beg to difference. "Just a hunch."

"Well, as we all know, I didn't have much experience about this things. I am neutral. "You said even bringing up your non existing love life was not a comfortable subject for you.

"You have no experience of anything really but you act like you know everything." He said as a reference to the disagreement you two had about weed and the heavy stuff he takes. These words were the part of his indestructible defence of how harmless it is him getting high on a daily basis.

"I don't need to get high every time I got a chance and loose my shit to know it's bad. I'd have you known I was the one you begged for money, I was the one who saved your ass from your psycho dealer." You got so angry with him in light of speed. Everytime he promises not use it but he ends up doing it again.

"I said I'll pay you back, okay?" He sounded so used up with this talk again.

You rolled you eyes, you really hold yourself to not scream at his face. "I don't want you to pay me. I want you stop smoking it."

You had your eyebrows knitted, it made your forehead hurt. You didn't stop the eye contact with him but he did. He didn't like to be told what he should do. His jaw clenched but he was still so calm compared to other times. He would be gone right now if it's has been someone else.

You grabbed his chin and made him look at you. His eyes checked if it was your hand who touches his face because you never liked any physical contact unless it is so necessary. After he made sure it was you he was going to say something about it but he saw you way too frustrated with himself he didn't go for it. You always got so mad about this.

"You think that I don't notice your red eyes? " You asked and slowly left his smooth chin but the look upon your face stayed the same. "Stop doing this to yourself."

"Don't tell me what to do!" He said clenching his teeth, trying not to go too far with you. Still, he sounded as mad as you.

You remembered the presence of JJ, you got too carried away with Rafe you totally forgot what you came for in the first place and you didn't like he hears this private conversation about Rafe. Without getting caught, you checked if he is still there. You saw the tips of his hair behind the tree, and you knew he was looking at you although his eyes weren't in sight. Still, this talk with Rafe was way important than anything right now. Hell if he hears, why would he care?

"Do I have to remind you that Barry was here to hurt you, Rafe? Not to ask nicely, to actually hurt you physically? " You started whispering, got nervous about JJ hearing you guys talk but worse someone else might too. Rafe, as a typical addict, didn't like to hear this things so he was moving away and not facing you. He was wishing for you stop nagging about this.

"He came to the club Rafe! He threatened you and me!" You said trying to be in his sight as he kept turning his head to any sight you are not in.

"He won't do that you again, okay? " He said, locked his eyes to yours and looked like he's reliving the day in his mind. He got the same terrifying look. He spilled words after words in anger, repeating himself. You couldn't interrupt him, he wasn't breathing between the sentences. "I won't get you involved again okay? I made sure he won't try to hurt you. Or anyone else. He will never come to anywhere near you or my family. I took care of it. Do you understand? I won't let him. And I'll will pay you back. Promise. Do you believe me?"

You wanted to say so many things to him but it was obvious he was not in the right state of my mind to understand anything logical you have to say. He had to get cleaned up but all his dad was pushing him away and it made Rafe go more stray. You knew how crushing it feels being the less loved child of the family just because you are who you are. You knew Rafe mostly assume you help him because you feel accomplished when he's desperate. He once said it to you he feels like time to time although he knows your relationship with your mom. The truth is you see yourself in him sometimes. Now, seeing his eyes got blurred up and longing for someone to believe in him, simply just to love him, made you almost cry.

"You belive me, right Y/N?" He found himself asking again. Replaced both of his hands in your arms. Sometimes he couldn't stop the flowing of feelings inside of him, all the words were out of his mouth before he could put them in an order. Your eyes were staring into his, he could see there were something in them but you not saying anything was driving him mad.

"I do. "

"You do?" Rafe said with a broken smile, he had to check again to make sure what he heard was real.

" I do. I really do." You said once more with louder, certain tone. The words, they didn't feel enough him to understand. His pink lips were shaped as a smile but there were tears ready to drop in the corner of his eyes. You hold his body with your arms that he already has a grab on and closed the gap between you two. His hands moved up from your elbow to to your back and they ended up holding you so tight there, you felt you could never get out of it if he doesn't let you. You placed your head on his right shoulder, trying not to feel so sorry for him, you might burst into tears. You wouldn't like crying in front of him. All he needed a little love, all children wants to be loved by their parents. It was fundamental and when you don't receive it, you got so messed up inwardly, it might never be healed by anything. Both of you needed it but you knew neither of you could provide that to each other. Still, you could try. You whispered into his hears, making sure of your voice is the only thing gets into his head. "You'll make everything right, okay?"

"Okay." He said and repeated it more than once, trying to convince you. He didn't want to let down the only person who says that believes in him.

You startled instantly, hoped Rafe didn't sense it. With your left hand placed on Rafe's back, you waved JJ to let him know he should walk out now. When he saw you two hug, he was already preparing you to slip away but got scared that it's a brief hug and Rafe might turn his back and detect him. Surprisingly it was a long and intense hug he sees. As he saw your signal, he took action. On his tiptoes but still so quickly he made his way to the stairs and got lost in seconds. On his way, he wondered, did you planned this hug so Rafe can't see him escape or did it occur unintentionally?

You let your hands off of Rafe and it was a cue for him to let you go. Being this melancholic wasn't good for any of you. You don't like being vulnerable, especially around people. And you thought Rafe wouldn't like it either. Anyway, you had to go after JJ before he leaves without you. After you pulled away from each other, you moved a step back just in case. Being so close with Rafe or anyone felt so uncomfortable. Not that you didn't like Rafe, it was because something you didn't know or something you are afraid to admit. If you keep it going on and like the intimacy, you might never let it go.

"I have to go back to my duty to talk every dull guest and let them bore me with their questions about my future and present." You said. Rafe couldn't trace the emotions he saw in your eyes a minute ago. It was like they never happened. He didn't question for so long, you had a habit of ignoring anything troubling happening to you. And he went along with it.

"Why? Come with us to where the real fun is. "

"My mom makes me." You said and it was enough for him to understand to you have to do what she says to do. You obeyed everything she says to you but only her. You were really stubborn with Rafe.

"Don't have too much fun when I'm suffering." You said with a fake threatening look and smiled after that and he did as well. You took a few steps back to indicate that you are getting ready to leave.

"Don't have too much fun." He repeated with huge grin. "The motto of your life."

You rolled your eyes at him playfully and left him without saying anything in return. He was right.

As soon as you left the house, you headed towards to the beach, JJ said that's where he was going. You had to took off your heels when they met the sand. You kept hoping he's there waiting but as you got closer the sea, the darkness took over all the lights of the house you left behind. Nevertheless you kept moving into the darkness, you could hear the sound of the waves clearer but there was nothing in sight. You cursed yourself inwardly for trusting someone like JJ to return a favor. You felt so let down and the shoes in your hand was weighting you down or it was the disappointment. You weren't mad at JJ, you were mad at yourself for believing him.

Then, a little ahead of you, two weak ball of light appeared. You blinked few times to understand what it belongs to. It was something on the surface, it must be a boat, you guessed, then you heard a whisper. It was calling your name.

"Y/N?"

You smiled and make your way to the light. "JJ?" You asked as you ran. You were sure you heard him but not able to see him. As soon as he heard you reply, he was ready to poke Pope to turn on all the lights but Pope already took care of it. You saw the boy on the boat, standing in front of the control panel. You knew his name but never talked to him before really. Then you saw JJ waiting for you at the back of the boat. He looked better than before, happy to get out of there safe and sound and meet his friend here.

"I thought you left." You said with a relieved smile on your face you just cannot hide. He put on a similar one and it was the most genuine one you recieved from him all night.

"I thought you changed your mind." He said and extended a hand for you to climb the boat. You took it.

"You wish." As he pulled you and gave you a little smile.

To be continued.

[bbrandy2002]

Two Men and a Baby Pt 9B-The Ending.

The Royal Romance/The Royal Heir

Part 9a was posted earlier this morning if you haven't read it yet.

Thank you everyone who took the time to read this. Your comments have been wonderful to read and kept me going when I got a case of writers block. I have other stories I plan to write so I hope you'll stick around for a while.

I am posting fun facts at the end of this story, if you'd like to read those too. - Brandy

@gardeningourmet @emceesynonymroll @dcbbw @sirbeepsalot @crookedslimecreatorpasta @moonlightgem7 @katedrakeohd @romanticatheart-posts @carabeth

The Real Last Final One 9B

Liam just finished his account of the predicament he found himself in earlier. Riley felt badly for her husband and the anger she felt over his "zip it" comment seemed a little more justified.

Drake stood from his chair and apologized for what he had done. He, too, had had a rough day, however, no one deserved to be clawed in the face, hauled off to a psych ward, beaten and nearly strip searched, especially the King.

"I know what will make you feel better, My King." Riley whispered.

"I can't imagine what." Liam pouted.

"Well....we are in a hospital, I don't think we've ever done it in one before." Riley looked at him like she wanted to devour him right there.

Liam raised an eyebrow, "I do like doing it in public places."

Riley grabbed his hand and led him off in search of an empty room.

"Watch your zipper Liam" Maxwell yelled.

Olivia huffed "Well, there goes my ride. Hey Walker, why don't you give me a lift back to the palace."

Drake didn't want to, the last thing he wanted was to end his night with Olivia, but, perhaps she'd be too tired to annoy him for the hour drive back.

2 hours later....

Bertrand had to have surgery to free him of the zipper. After a healthy dose of drugs and a little reconstructive surgery, he and his dick should make a full recovery. He will need to wear a diaper for a while, but, that's a small price to pay for ones manhood.

Savannah finally reunited with her son. She knew the whole time that Bartie could drink from a bottle, but, she had a secret breast fetish and seeing Bertrand with it on, drove her wild.

The boar was finally caught. It caused significant damage to the Beaumont Estate, but, in reality, it was nothing they hadn't seen following a Beaumont Bash. It was placed in the Valtoria menagerie, due to Zeke being unable to take him back.

Zeke and Penelope were arrested that night for operating an illegal animal ring. Truth is, Zeke was raking in profits off the illegal purchasing and trading of several wild animals. Penelope was the ringleader. She had made off like a bandit having acquired 100's of boxes of dog treats for her poodles.

Liam and Riley found an empty room and did what Liam and Riley always do when they're alone. When they finally finished, Riley noticed a white flash as she was dressing, but, it was probably nothing.

Maxwell and Drake finally sat down together and pondered their day. They were two men, who certainly had one hellish day, but, they both were able to stand tall knowing they made it through...well, Maxwell had the crutches.

Maxwell was not charged for his part in the disaster. Being a Beaumont has its perks, but, when you're able to forge letters from the King pardoning you, it's even better. He would hitch a ride home in a news van and sleep outside with his peacocks that night.

Liam was cornered in the hospital by the press as he tried to leave. He had to explain why hospital security caught him running out of a vandalized bathroom full of shit, that was now playing on loop from every news station. He also had to explain why he delivered a baby, was beaten, placed in a mental health ward and beaten again. Riley, however, announced she would throw a Royal Ball and go on a Royal Tour, in hopes of answering their questions and calming the masses. Liam, also decided to start wearing condoms again; he wasn't sure he could handle another delivery right now.

"You ready Liv", Drake shook a sleeping Olivia from her chair in the waiting room.

She gathered her things and followed Drake out to the parking lot. The ride to the Palace was fairly quiet, both too exhausted to say anything.

They walked up the grand stair case and Drake couldn't help but notice her ass swaying in her skirt. She annoyed the hell out of him, always had, but, damn if she wasn't sexy.

Once they reached the top, she looked at him like she hadn't before.

"Well Walker, for what it's worth, this day had been something I never expected. I've laughed more today that I have in a long time and its all thanks to you and Maxwell."

Drake slightly huffed," glad we could entertain you Duchess."

"Well, I'm going to bed, I can't keep my eyes open any longer", she smiled at him, winked and made her way to her guest room.

"Night Liv", he would say as he watched her walk away.

Drake went to Liam's study; he was tired, but, hadn't had a stiff drink all day. He sat on the couch, slumped down and drank his long awaited whiskey. One glass after another, until he started to feel much more relaxed and comfortable.

He stood up from the couch and that's when she walked in.

"I thought I heard someone in here" she said.

She walked over to the bar cart and poured her own drink.

She was beautiful in her white, silky robe that accentuated her breasts.

"Didn't mean to disturb you your highness."

"Drake, you can never disturb me" she said while taking a drink and lifting her bare leg to rest on the coffee table.

"Mrs.Rys, are you trying to seduce me?"

"Would that be so bad?" she asked while undoing her robe.

Drake pulled at his collar and licked his lips. He looked at Liam's desk and nodded. She smiled at him and stood in front of the desk. He told her to bend over and he couldn't help but stare at her round ass. He felt kind of guilty about what he was getting ready to do, but, alcohol and his throbbing dick took over. "What the hell" he whispered and went for it.

The next morning

He looked at her and uttered, "I'm sorry".

She replied with a soft smile, "I'm not".

Drake closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "but, what about Liam?"

"Drake, my husband never took the time to touch me like you did last night; trust me, I'm not worried about Liam finding out."

"Yeah, last night sure was crazy."

After doing it twice on Liam's desk, they moved back to his room for the night. She got up and put her clothes on. After she left, Drake picked up his phone to text Maxwell.

....Beaumont, you were right! She does have an apple pie tattoo on her ass.

Fun facts.....

1. This was never supposed to be more than one chapter. I had the idea, thought it would be cute to write a drabble of Bertrand breastfeeding with that fathers breastfeeder seen on Meet the Fockers.

2. After writing chapter 1, I wanted to explore the cliff hanger at the end....would Drake wear the breastfeeder. I had to go ahead and do another to ensure he did.

3.it wasn't until part 4 when my little story started to get noticed by others. I never expected anyone else to read it. I personally thought it was too bizaar, but, continued out of pure enjoyment. You all made it worth it and I loved every minute of writing this.

4. Chapter 7 was my personal favorite. I have to thank @emceesynonymroll for inspiring Maxwell's dialogue. It also was the quickest chapter I wrote.

5. I adore Drake and his character in TRR/TRH, but, as a Liam stan, I could never bring myself to have Riley in his bed at the end. However, I'm not opposed to exploring that for a future post.

6. I wanted to continue this series, but, there is only so much you can write about in a one day timeline. Also, I think everyone suffered enough in the story. I decided it was time to call it quits.

7. There will be new adventures ahead for the gang....I have big plans for them 😂

8.If you have any requests or suggestions, let me know. I'm interested in new ideas. I'm also not opposed to constructive criticism; message me and let me know where I can improve.

As always, thanks for reading!

[raindrop-on-a-spiderweb]

There's Just Something About The Neighbors

Requested AU--if Leonardo's father had been alive during the story.

***

Flora Haywood liked her new neighbors.

The last ones had been a pain, acting as though the fact that they had moved into a middle-class neighborhood gave them special privileges. They stayed up and partied til the dawn, laughing and hollering until she couldn't sleep any longer. When they moved out, it was a enormous relief. They hoped the newer neighbors were quieter.

They were.

It was a married couple and the husband's father. They moved in quietly one day, not a peep. She stopped by to take some cookies to her new neighbors and the wife thanked her wanly but never invited her inside. She was a pale little thing with long, straight brown hair. She kept tugging her sleeves over the bruises on her wrists ("got them while moving boxes"). 

Flora never saw them outside much. Occasionally the father or husband she would see walking to work, or the wife would be doing yardwork, but other than that, they kept themselves away from the other neighbors. The husband was a handsome blond man who always tipped his hat to her when he saw her on the street. Flora wasn't sure what his job was--she thought he was employed by his father in his business, although she never did find out what business it was. The son had mentioned it was something to do with clothing, possible a factory or high-quality tailor store. 

The only time she had seen the husband's father was when he turned up on her doorstep to inform her that her lawn was becoming too overgrown, and told her to mow it. Didn't ask. Told. That one meeting was enough for her, and she would be glad if she never had to see him again. 

She was surprised to see that apparently the couple had children, as she had never seen them outside. At the grocery store she had run into the wife, sporting a fresh bruise on her cheek and a split lip, and more concerningly, a baby bump and a two-year-old. The child had a chubby round face and thick black hair--recessive genes?

When Flora greeted the wife, she looked panicked and refused to answer any questions about her child. She left the store soon after. From then on, whenever the wife saw Flora outside her home, she ducked inside.

Flora's musings about the neighbors were pushed to the back of her mind when her daughter Caroline came back from college, reeking of pot and dressed like a beatnik. She was taking a semester off to work and raise money for a trip to California. She took odd jobs babysitting around the neighborhood, even for the Borgheses, which did not last long.

"That family is fucking creepy," Caroline told her mother. "Mr. Borghese's father is always staring at me. I'm pretty sure he wants to fuck me. And I think someone is beating those kids. They always have bloody noses and the husband won't let me give them baths; I think they're bruised. Someone should call the cops on them."

Flora was tempted. A couple times, when the sounds of an argument or children crying wafted over to her side of the street, she nearly did. But then she thought of the dark cars that occasionally would be parked in their driveway at night. Of the shady men who were always in and out of their house. And their Italian last name. And she thought better of it.

***

One day when Flora went out to get the mail the wife was sitting on the doorstep crying. One of her younger children, a little blonde girl who looked all of three, was trying to comfort her, but kept looking lost and crying as well. Flora went across the street. "Are you all right, Mrs. Borghese? What's the matter?"

Mrs. Borghese looked thinner than she ever had. Her eyes were holes in her face as she looked up at Flora. "My baby's dead."

"What?" Flora was shocked. "What happened?"

"He... I just... I went in and...his body..." she was talking wildly, seeming desperate to tell her but unwilling to admit to something.

The husband came outside and ushered her in, then picked up his daughter. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Haywood," he said coolly. "My wife has been dealing with a lot over the past few days. We've just had a family tragedy."

"I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can--"

"No, no. But thank you. We just need to deal with this as it comes." He entered the house again and closed the door after him. Flora craned her neck to try and see through the window in the door, but like most things in the Borghese family's life, it was covered tightly by a curtain.

***

Caroline was due for her trip to California, and was waiting outside for her friends to pick her up. Every time she looked over at the Borghese's house across the street she got a little more agitated. "I never saw no funeral for that kid."

"They probably held one privately. They're a private family."

"Too private. They're hiding something. It's fishy that half of those kids got black hair. Either she's screwing around on him or she's getting some on the side from dad-in-law."

Flora was horrified. "Caroline!"

"I'm not saying it was of her own will. That woman looks like a beaten dog half the time. The way the father in law treated her was weird, too. Always shouting at her and giving her orders. And her husband would just stand by and look on. Something fucked up is going on in that household! PROMISE me you'll call the police after we leave? Those poor kids don't deserve to live like that."

"I will," promised Flora, having no intention of doing so.

As she watched her daughter leave, speeding off in a dented Buick with her hippie friends, she looked across the street at the Borghese's house again. The father-in-law was on the porch, watching her. She wasn't close enough to discern his features, but his posture suggested something ominous, and she went inside quickly. The Borgheses were not neighbors you wanted angry.

***

Pippy, her Staffordshire terrier, had taken off across the street in pursuit of a squirrel. Flora was tromping around in her neighbor's backyards, yelling his name. She heard distant crying and snatches of conversation, and followed it out of curosity. After brushing aside a bush, she came to a tall wooden fence--the Borghese's garden, heavily fortified just like everything else about their house. She peered through a slat.

She had never seen their garden before--it was clean and well-kept, just like every other middle class garden. Neatly trimmed lawn, and a white porch swing hanging between two trees. From her vantage point, she was behind the porch swing, looking at the backs of Mr. and Mrs. Borghese as they say side by side on the swing.

The faint sobs that drifted through the air were punctuated with his gentle, soothing remarks. 

"Calm down, dolcezza. I'll kiss you, there. I'll make it all better..."

"Get off me. It needs to stop. You need to do something. You've done nothing in this marriage! You've been no help! You men, all you want is a warm hole to stick it in."

"That not true. I love you."

"If you really loved me you'd do something about this! He'll want to do it with me when you're in the room! And when the children are in the room! How can you let this happen? You call yourself a husband and a father?"

"Patience, we're talking about my father. My father. You are asking the impossible of me. It would be easier to flee to the moon than to go against my father."

"I'll kill myself! I'll kill myself and take every last one of our children with me! I can't live like this!"

"Patience--"

"I will never forgive you for what you did to my parents," she said, and her voice suddenly became icy. "But if you want the slightest, smallest glimmer of my gratitude--if you want me to give you the smallest modicum of respect as my husband and father of my children--the ones which are yours, anyway--"

Flora could not believe her ears. Her knees were hurting from crouching, and her lungs were screaming for air from holding her breath. The details--the unfurling tapestry of horror in front of her very eyes--were so unbelieveable she wondered if she were dreaming. Her daughter had been right. Caroline had been right all along. There was something very wrong with the Borgheses.

"There is nothing I can do. Patience, there is nothing. You're not the only victim here, Patience. How do you think it feels to me, having to watch this happen to you and the children? Do you know the last time I stood up to him? I was eight. Do you know what he did to me? He stomped my head into the floor until blood squirted from my nose. There is nothing I can do." He paused, and his voice became quieter. "Unless..."

The silence that followed was as tense as a bowstring, and Mrs. Borghese finally said, "No. What you're suggesting--it could go wrong. It WILL. He'll know. He'll know--"

The plank Flora had been leaning on shifted, the fence post moaning. The two whipped around, their conversation ceasing, and the minute before Flora turned away, she saw a huge, purpling bruise on the side of her face. Flora acted quickly, hurrying away into the treeline. When she was out of sight she let out a shaky sigh, leaning against a tree. Her legs were shaking, her heart pumping. She suddenly felt a sickening sense of danger. She was not supposed to hear that. 

***

Pippy came back home the next week, muddy and tail wagging, and resumed chasing Mickey, her gray tabby. Flora breathed a sigh of relief. She had barely ventured out of her house since that day, save for groceries, and refused to even look in the direction of the Borghese house. She agonized over whether to call the police. The only thing that stopped her was the fear that Silvio Borghese would find out--and what he would do to her, and, god forbid, Caroline if he did. The sickening knowledge of what was going on in that house made her want to retch. Every time she caught a glance of the children in the yard she wanted to rush over and rescue them. 

That day, the only member of the Borghese house outside was one of the daughters, a young girl with coke-bottle glasses and her thick black hair in pigtails. She was riding her trike down the sidewalk, glancing back at her house every few pedals. She never went past the perimeter of the house, and when she reached the end, turned and pedaled back to the other end. She was so preoccupied with not going past the invisible line that when she craned her neck back to look at the house she lost control and crashed to the ground.

Maternal instincts activating, Flora rushed out and over to the child, picking her up and cradling her. "Oh, my god! You poor thing, are you hurt? Come on, let me look at you."

***

The girl was nervous at being in Flora's home, she could tell. She sat ramrod-straight, her knees pulled together as Flora rummaged around in her bathroom cabinet looking for cotton and rubbing alcohol. 

As soon as Flora applied it, the girl's face went ashen. Tears streamed down her face and her jaw wobbled, but she didn't utter a peel.

It was very odd to Flora, who knew children cried at the smallest things. And this was a deep wound, too--she had skinned her knee. "You can cry, honey. It's okay."

The girl's words escaped in a shaky whisper. "Nonno hates it when we cry."

She said nothing else, and when Flora sent her home with a bandaged knee, the girl went up to the front door, dawdled a bit, looked back, and then finally, reluctantly, pulled the door open and was immediately yanked inside.

***

It had been a few years since the Borghese family moved in across the street. Their children were mostly old enough to go to school, and every day they slogged their way down the sidewalk to Catholic School in their little uniforms, the older ones holding the hands of the younger ones. She never saw them with friends from school or the neighborhood. The Borghese children kept to themselves. They were polite to Flora when they saw her, and spoke mostly in Italian amongst themselves. The only trouble she'd ever had with them was with the oldest son, a hulking child with blue eyes and two front teeth missing. She had found him torturing Pippy while he was tied up in her front yard. He had been beyond the fence, holding a sharp stick and trying to poke his eyes out. Flora had yelled at him, and he had smiled blankly at her with his gap-toothed grin, then turned and trudged back to his house. 

Mrs. Borghese was pregnant again. She was always pregnant. Flora had no idea what the household must have been like with so many children crammed in a medium-sized home, but she rarely heard any racket from the children. There was always an eerie silence from the other side of the street.

Only the sounds of an occasional argument between adults, which were few--at least until now--would sometimes pierce the silence. And it was becoming more common. She could discern the shrill, high voice of the wife, and then the booming, thunderous voice of the father-in-law. Sometimes she even heard one of the children, either crying or adding their voices to the fray. 

One evening when she was pruning her water lilies the wife came to her yard, wringing her hands and asking if she could borrow some peroxide and bandages. Her whole manner was nervy, and she kept stuttering. She wore a yellow gingham dress, but the apron was smudged with dirty fingerprints and the skirt had been ripped and badly mended.

Flora took her inside immediately. As she bent down to rifle through her products under the sink, Mrs. Borghese closed the curtains over the kitchen. As soon as the door had snapped shut, her manner had become more panicked. Mrs. Borghese turned to Flora. 

"Can you do something for me? Please?"

The woman looked so young. Battered and tired, but young. 

"Of course, honey."

"Can you drive me to a hotel? Just, any hotel. I need to--I just--please?"

"Alone? What about your husband? Will you be taking your children?"

She looked stressed. "No. Not them. None of them. I need to be alone. I need to get out of--"

Her rantings were cut short by a soft knock on the door. "Pazienza? What are you doing here? Please come home."

"No!" She cried. She was shaking. "I will not. Leonardo, go away. Leave me be. I won't go back to that house--and that man. You can't make me!"

"Che ne sarà dai bambini?" his voice had softened into barely legible Italian. "Li lascerete in pace?"

Mrs. Borghese fell silent. Her face held a rapidly crumbling resolve. Flora met her gaze and shook her head firmly. Mrs. Borghese's eyes hardened. "This thing has to end. Leonardo, for the good of our children, too. Call--call the police, call Sawyer, hell, you can call the federal fucking authorities if you want to go that route! But I'm not coming back, Leonardo! Not if you drag me kicking and screaming! None of you care about me, how I feel, if I'm tired, and the children, god, the children..."

"Pazienza," he said quietly. "Allora faremo."

She was quiet again. Her face was turned away from Flora, but her shoulders were stiff. On the nape of her neck, half-covered by her hair, Flora saw a thick white scar indented with looked like teeth prints. "Che succederà se falliamo?" She whispered.

"Non lo faremo. Lo faremo insieme. Lo faremo stasera. Stasera. Vieni fuori, dolcezza."

Whatever he said made her reach her breaking point, and she slowly reached out to unlatch the door. Mr. Borghese was standing outside, hair slicked from rain and his suit damp. His face was gentle, but froze minutely when he saw Flora. He probably had hoped she hadn't been listening in. He offered Flora a vague apology and led his wife back across the street, arm wrapped tightly around her shoulders. The streetlamp light glinted coldly off his golden curls.

Flora lay awake in bed, waiting for the argument to begin, the shouting between father-in-law and daughter-in-law. But she heard nothing. It was a quiet night in the sleepy suburb of Dearborne Heights. 

***

Flora was awoken by the scream of an ambulance. Fearing the worst, she threw off her covers and ran out onto the doorstep. 

There were police cars and an ambulance outside the Borghese house. Other neighbors were milling around--police cars were a rare sight in Dearborne Heights.

A policeman went over to push back against the nosy neighbors. "What happened?" Said Flora. "Was someone hurt? Did something happen to the children?"

"Reported suicide. Keep back, keep back."

Her worry broke when she saw the Borghese family huddled near the house, talking to another officer. Mr. Borghese looked calm as he gave his statement, but Mrs. Borghese looked shaken, clutching her many children close to her. Most of the children were crying, some of them looked to be in shock. But some of them had a carefully schooled look on their face similiar to their father's.

Eventually the family separated and got into police cars, and the crowd dispersed, as did the police cars themselves. Flora went back inside, her mind whirring. The whole situation seemed like a dream. The death, the couple, the conversation she had overheard--nothing added up.

Actually, she thought, everything DID add up. Just to a different answer.

***

The next morning Flora heard a knock at her door. She debated whether to answer it, hand hovering near the doorknob, until another, more irate knock sounded at the door.

Flora opened it hesitantly, and a man wearing a broad fedora barged in. He was dressed in a black suit; dark-haired, with wire-rimmed glasses that glinted coldly as he eyed her. "Flora Haywood?"

Flora nodded.

"Mind if I sit down?" He punctuated his words by pulling out a chair from her kitchen table and sitting down anyway. "I'm sure you've heard about the... unfortunate incident at 34 Knight Street, just across from you."

"...Yes... it was Mr. Borghese, Senior, am I correct?"

"I'm afraid so. Silvio Borghese. Single gunshot to the temple, self-inflicted. Horrible, horrible. I understand you knew the Borgheses personally."

"They're my neighbors, but I don't know them well."

His voice was as cold as his eyes. "So if, for example, someone from the police stopped by, and asked you some questions, what would you tell them?"

"Wh-what kind of questions?"

"Oh, you know, the usual. Whether you heard anything that night. Whether there had been any... discord in the Borghese household as of late. Simple things, routine things the police tend to ask."

She felt a chill come down her back. "Who are you?"

"A friend of Mr. Borghese, junior. Leonardo." He smiled and got up, perusing her keepsakes neatly lined up on the mantlespiece. To her horror, he picked up a photo of Caroline. "Your granddaughter?"

She swallowed a lump. "Daughter."

"Lovely woman. She looks about the age of my wife. Truly in the prime of her life. A young woman with her whole life ahead of her."

Flora would have done anything he had asked of her in that moment. "I don't know anything about the Borghese family. I heard nothing last night. I don't know a thing. The family keeps to themselves."

His eyes flicked up to meet hers. "And that's what you'll tell the police?"

"Yes, yes, that's what I'll tell the police! I don't know anything! Please, I have laundry to do. I can't sit around and talk all day!"

He smiled as he left, a smug secret smile that told her he had accomplished exactly he had come to accomplish. She locked the door, latched the windows, and immediately called Caroline. She sounded woozy on the other end and the sounds of partying were in the background, but she was safe. Flora cautioned her to be careful, and Caroline agreed in that sure-mom-I-promise tone that teenagers took when they had no intention of listening to their parents. After wrangling more promises out of her to call every day, Flora hung up and spent the rest of the day peering out the window, watching every car parked on the sidewalk and every passerby.

***

The police never came, thank god, and Flora assumed the whole situation was over and done for when the large Borghese family, sans the grandfather, moved back into their tan suburban house across from her.

It was as if a shadow had lifted from Knight Street. Within a week the high fence around their property had been knocked down. Flora saw Mr. Borghese building a treehouse with his sons in the large oak tree in their backyard. The Borghese children were out and about more, and they seemed to be making friends, for the first time, around the neighborhood. Mrs. Borghese saw Flora outside in the garden and smiled and waved, something she had never done before. She looked vibrant, healthy, with no bruises. She gave birth several months later to a baby girl, who she dropped off at Flora's sometimes to be babysat. Leonardo even held a block party, with his smiling, beautiful wife and their newborn the centerpiece.

In the blink of an eye it seemed that years had passed since then and the eldest son was going to high school. But Flora never lost that sense of unease. The neighbors were outwardly affluent, popular people...

But sometimes Mrs. Borghese would get a look on her face, and Flora knew what lurked under the surface was never far from bubbling over, and that the secrets Flora had touched on were too deep and numerous for her to understand.

Not that she had any desire to.