#You need points for chases I'm your gal

[deanoheartspie]

Sunshine 5

Pairing: Cowboy Sheriff Dean x City Gal Reader

Summary: After your family cut you off, your great-aunt Laura invited you over to her ranch you often visited when you were just a child... You drive through the beautiful town until you accidentally graze a horse that just so happens to be the sheriffs...

Warnings: None

A/N: I've gotten some feedback on my writing! So this is my first attempt at trying to make it better and make it make sense for all! I really do appreciate suggestions with writing/about the book, also love hearing what you have to say about the characters.

(MIGHT REWRITE!! Depending on how I feel about it)

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Y/N POV

The beautiful grassy fields, full of bright colorful flowers, and the clouds in the most beautiful blue sky ever seen. It was like it was picture-perfect almost too good to be true. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't you'd never know for sure.

Most of all though... Dean. He was a good man, you could tell by just the way he carried himself or the way he cared about others.

You've never laughed as hard or had genuine conversations as you had this afternoon with no other than the gruff cowboy. Family members never really cared or even tried to seem interested in what you had to say but when they did they were only interested in how it'd affect their precious images.

After he left though, grumbling about having to chase some dog again earning a laugh from you and a simple 'good luck' he ran off after walking me back. True gentleman I must say.

“Hey, Laura do you need help with anything?” You tiredly ask desperately wanting to drown yourself in a nice hot shower.

The older woman looks up from her knitting and smiles as she shakes her head “No thank you sweetheart, how did today go? Did he go easy on ya?” She asked as she went back to what she was doing glancing up at you a few times.

Easy? Maybe he did? He didn't seem as bossy as he usually was had they talked to him?

“You could say that... He did teach me a lot. I appreciate you guys letting me stay here” You thank them probably for the one-hundredth time this week.

“That's good. He's very good at what he does, and quit thankin' us we are family and family helps one another. Now shoo! Go relax, you are probably exhausted its getting way too hot out there”

You smile and nod, giving her a quick hug before running up to the room.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Drying off your hair, tossing a tank top, and your favorite soft pajama pants that most definitely would get ruined here if something were to happen.

The creaking wood floors, announce you to everyone downstairs causing Dean and a little girl to look at you... Smiling at them you wave.

“Who's this little one?” You ask but can see the resemblance between the two, was this who Lina Linda Lisa was? Whatever her name was talking about that day on the sidewalk?

“My daughter” His usual gruff and annoyed voice was non-existent. He sounded happier.

The big ole green-eyed little girl had the biggest smile on her face as she leaned back and forth on her plastic princess heels. She was practically a carbon copy of Dean, but as a young girl and boy was she adorable.

“Hello! I'm Rory” She stuck her tiny hand out, You gently shook her hand the same smile stuck on your face.

“Nice to meet you, Rory! I'm Y/n”

Rory quietly thought for a moment, it felt like a mini interview, and god that made you anxious.

“Do you like ponies?” she asked squinting her eyes, acting as if she was asking the most important question ever.

Dean rolled his eyes and shook his head while he had a small smile of amusement wondering how this would go.

“Hm, are they magical ponies or normal ones?”

She tapped her chin, before reaching up to her father who knew the look she gave him probably way too well because right away he handed her a unicorn stuffed animal. “Obviously the ones that can fly!” Aurora said in a duh tone, pointing up at you, you look around curious as to what/why she was exactly pointing for.

“Aurora what did I say about pointing? It's rude.” Dean's voice echoed from the hallway, he was on his way into the kitchen.

“I like her, you date her?” She said, causing Dean to spit out his coffee and start coughing his lungs out. Your eyes widen in surprise, who would've thought a simple question about magical freakin' horses would lead to this?

“You can't keep doin' that, sweet pea. She's my friend, and that's all.” He explained, cleaning up his mess while the little girl nodded before shrugging.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

The rest of the night went well, You and Rory played for a bit while Dean cooked. Giving him credit where it's due, he's a pretty damn good cook if you must say yourself. Though half the things he does make will mostly take 30 years off your life. That donut burger was worth it though...

Bedtime came around, and Aurora fell asleep in your arms safe and sound. Following Dean up to his room after he offered plenty of times to take Rory off of your shoulders after you refused not wanting to wake the young lady.

What you hadn't noticed before when you had woken the man up this morning was the little princess bed on the other end of the bedroom full of toys and stuffed animals.

“Sorry,” He whispered pushing everything off to the side neatly, grabbing a big t-shirt and gently putting it on Rory, before taking her from your arms and tucking her in.

Oddly enough this felt normal. Though it probably shouldn't have. Friends, friends are what we are and that's it.

“Good night Dean.” You say halfway out the bedroom door when he says something that caught you off guard.

“Will you have a drink with me?” He asked standing up straight and walking towards you with a tiny smile.

A drink with Dean? That actually sounds kinda nice.

“Sure. Though I'm surprised you still haven't learned your lesson from last night's drunken mess” You tease, flashing off your pearly whites as he rolls his eyes guiding you downstairs out to the front porch.

He hands me a nice cold beer before plopping himself down onto the front porch stairs, looking up at the starry night sky. Even at night, this place was beautiful.

“So, you never told me why you're here in the first place Darlin',” He said breaking the silence, putting his full attention onto you.

“Runaway bride.” You say shortly, with a tiny shrug before taking a sip of the liquid. Dean's were wide before he broke into a fit of laughter, shaking his head

“No really why are you here?” He asked again calming himself down, the smile still on his face and his face all red from the laughing.

“Runaway bride.” You say slower this time, in all seriousness. The smile was quick to leave his face and his eyes looked like they were about to pop out of his face.

“Your fuckin' with me right? That stuff only happens on telenovelas” Dean was leaning his head back against the railing, still in shock.

“Nope.”

“Y/n why do you sound so calm about this? What'd he do to have you run off to the middle of nowhere and pick up horse shit for the rest of your life” Dean asked, running his fingers through his hair before finishing off his beer.

“It was set up, arranged marriage. Didn't want to go through with it so I left plain and simple.” You get up stretching your arms grabbing the small blanket from the swinging couch, wrapping it around yourself.

“You shock me every day. I won't have some crazy man comin' here demanding you right? I ain't gonna get in a fight for you sweetheart pretty and all but I have a kid and I'm already on thin ice.” He seriously says while never once looking away from you.

“I don't expect you to get in a fight for me and no, there should be no man coming here to fight you” You roll your eyes, men were stupid sad thing was you did want someone to love, and protect you. But then again that only happened in fairytales, this was fair from one.

“Glad we are on the same page. But as the sheriff, I'd have to help ya out so just gimmie a call”

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

----Tag list----

@deans-spinster-witch @leigh70 @mrsjenniferwinchester @ladysparkles78 @hobby27 @khaleesihavilliard @foxyjwls007 @lucidlivi @jc-winchester @globetrotter28 @beskarfilms @the141bandicoot @alysinwonderland-at-tea @randomgurl2326 @ambergoddess444 @westernwinchesters @lemmons1998 @julie040904 @nic-kolas @raisinggray @alternativeprincess

[taytay-the-gaybertooth]

Something we don't talk about enough in the LGBTQIA+ community, something people have chased me out of dysphoria discussions about, is that cis folks can feel gender dysphoria too, and can feel dysmorphic about how they fit their perceived gender. It's a worse issue for trans folks for sure, seeing as those that want to be the opposite gender biologically need an entire surgery (or several) to even do it. However, the LGBTQIA+ community needs to stop invalidating non-trans folks with similar issues. Many guys and gals think they don't fit their gender despite being cis. Guys with smaller frames may envy traditional male attractiveness, flat chested women may wish they had a larger set of breasts, etc.

It can also take other forms, however. A guy may feel he's too masculine or a girl might feel they're too feminine. I myself fall into the cis but genderqueer category, having even gone on to state to those closest to me that if I weren't proud of... ehem... certain male features of mine that I'd want to transition. I don't like certain aspects of being a male. My muscles look large for how strong I actually am, and I fall into what many call the "muscle gut" or "bear" archetype of males, when that's not how I want to present. However, because I'm not specifically trans, I've been shot down for saying I can relate. At one point I commented on a dysphoria/dysmorphia post on here, and got treated by members of the LGBTQIA+ community as though I was taking things out of context and making fun of trans people. It's okay to be proud to be trans, and to be proud of your trans allies, but to shoot down non-trans folks with similar issues because they aren't trans, just because they aren't suffering as much, is entirely unacceptable.

So, at the root of it all, just remember that exclusion doesn't have any place in the LGBTQIA+ community. Rather than trying to exclude people for not having the same struggle as you, let's work through our separate struggles together. In the end, we all just want to fit the mold we've made for ourselves, and criticizing each others' molds won't help anyone achieve that goal.

[saiilorstars]

Ch. 37: Chasing Hope

[Story Masterlist] // [Aitana’s Masterlist]

Fandom: Criminal Minds // Pairing: Spencer Reid x OFC

Taglist: @ocappreciationtag​ @arrthurpendragon​​​​ ​​​ @maaaaarveeeeel​​​ @stareyedplanet​​​​​​​ @averyhotchner​ @foxesandmagic​ @kmc1989​​​​ @midmourn @caplanbuckybarnes​​​​​​

If you’d like to be a part of Aitana’s taglist, please let me know!

Also available on Fanfic ○ Ao3 ○ Wattpad

"I'm sorry I'm late!" Aitana hurried to sit down at the table where her best friend was waiting. They were due for a lunch date.

Elia merely smiled as Aitana scrambled to get comfortable in her chair. "It's alright." Almost a year into Aitana's new BAU schedule, Elia was more than used to waiting and rescheduling. "I know you're super busy."

"Yeah." Aitana lost breath as she fixed all her belongings on the ground and her bag on the table. "We had a case — I just got back — oh!" Her bag almost spilled her entire contents had Aitana not managed to grab it off the table.

Elia laughed and bent down to pick up what had fallen. "You're a klutz."

"More like I'm tired!" Aitana exclaimed, bending down to pick up what was nearest to her. "I just flew back from Texas!"

"Busy gal." Elia picked up a mascara, lipstick, two pens and a slip of paper. She put it all down on the table but not before plating with the makeup. "You need lipstick to find corpses?" She uncapped a bright red shade of lipstick. "Red is to impress."

"No it's not!" Aitana made a face.

"You know damn well it is. Red is to impress and to seduce. Plus, red is your color," Elia winked at Aitana. "Makes you look sexy."

Aitana rolled her eyes. "Can you please give me my stuff?"

Elia handed the lipstick over, then the mascara and pens. She would've done the same with the slip of paper if she hadn't started reading it instead.

"Nosy," huffed Aitana. She dumped everything back inside her purse.

"What are these?" Elia tapped a finger on the paper.

"Pet stores," Aitana said, reaching to take the paper but Elia drew it back.

"You're buying a pet? Oh, are you finally buying a kitty!?" Elia exclaimed. Before WPP, Aitana always talked about buying a kitten for a pet.

"No, at least not right now," Aitana shrugged. "Those are locations where I might be able to find my Venus and Mars."

"Venus and Mars?" Elia repeated, unimpressed.

"My missing fish for my tank, remember? Spencer jotted down a couple spots he saw. I was going to go tomorrow."

"That's nice of him," Elia plucked the paper from Aitana. She reread the places. "These are far. How'd he know about them?"

"He passed by them," shrugged Aitana.

Elia snorted. "He just happened to walk by? Well, now I see why you keep red lipstick in your bag." Her smirk was more than unappreciated.

Aitana shifted in her seat, brushing a hand over her hair. "He just happened to see these stores and wrote them down for me. Unlike everyone else, Spencer actually understands my project."

Elia playfully rolled her eyes. "Mhm. Isn't he also the one who convinced you to keep dancing for the competition?"

Aitana regretted her habit of telling Elia everything. "He's very good at talking, alright?"

"Yeah, that's not exactly the vibe I got from him the first time we met," Elia said, thinking back to when Spencer and Emily had shown up at her door with Aitana's journal.

"You just have to get to know him some more," Aitana said plainly. "I've known him for almost a year now. Things change."

Elia was smiling strangely at Aitana. "Yeah, they do."

Aitana snatched the paper out of Elia's hand and stuffed it inside her bag.

"Since we're on the topic of your FBI friends, have you invited them to the competition?" Elia posed a good question that Aitana had not really considered until then.

"No. They don't even know that I'm doing it. Well, Spencer does but I haven't gotten around to the others."

Elia hummed. "Interesting."

Aitana pointed a warning finger at her best friend. "Don't even start."

"For now," Elia winked. Aitana groaned. Elia couldn't help but laugh a bit. "You do have to invite them. They're your friends aren't they?"

"Well, yeah, I just...it's very nerve wrecking knowing that my abuela is coming to see me."

"Then this is exactly why you should invite them — moral support," Elia nodded. She made perfect sense. "Plus, I want to meet these famous profilers of yours. I want to see what they say about me."

"Yeah…" Aitana chewed on her bottom lip, "Is it crazy to say that being in big groups is still nerve wracking sometimes?"

"No, not at all," Elia shook her head. "You're entitled to take it slow, Aitana."

Aitana sighed. "I know, but sometimes it just feels like I should be better already."

"You are," Elia said. "Last year, you wouldn't even talk to me. Progress has been made, I swear."

Aitana half smiled. She could agree with that. "I'll talk to them about it," she resolved. She could already hear Penelope's excited jabbering about the competition.

"Good." Elia picked up the menu in front of her. "Let's order before they call you away again."

Even though she was only half joking, Aitana still made a hasty order. One could never be sure when you worked in the BAU.

~0~

Two weeks later, Aitana was coming out of her dance practice when she got an urgent text from Penelope. They had a case. She didn't think that she had time to go home and change so she made a direct trip to Quantico instead. On her way into the building, she met Spencer.

"Do you know what the case is about?" Aitana asked him on their way to the elevator.

"No, I thought you and Penelope were working on it," Spencer said, pulling his phone out just to double check the text. It had come only from Penelope.

"No, I was at dance practice," Aitana gestured to her current athletic outfit as proof. "I was literally just coming out when I got the text."

"Pretty late for a practice," remarked Spencer. He pressed the elevator button to open its doors.

"They make exceptions for me and my schedule," Aitana hummed. "Our lovely schedule…"

Spencer smiled. "Yeah, I get that."

The two went up to the BAU and exited together. On their way out, they spotted Morgan and JJ in the bullpen.

"Hey, do we know what's going on?" Aitana asked the two.

"Garcia's got a personal case," Morgan said, eyeing Aitana strangely.

Aitana sighed, knowing her appearance wasn't at all professional. "I know, I know. I will get changed as soon as we finish the meeting. I didn't have time."

"Were you out running at this hour?" asked JJ with a spark of bemusement in her eyes.

"God no!" The way Aitana answered so fast had the trio laughing at her. "I do enough running for this job. You really think I'm going to go home and keep running? Yeah right!" The laughing increased. "I was coming out of a dance practice. Something I need to tell you guys about, actually."

"You dance?" Morgan raised an eyebrow at her.

"Traditional Mexican Folklore. I have a competition coming up next month and I was wondering if you guys wanted to come and watch," Aitana said, smiling very awkwardly now that she was exposing a big part of her life.

"Oh right, you said it was on a Saturday?" Spencer knew she had told him the day but not the actual date as the competition was still being finalized.

"You knew about this, Pretty Boy?" Morgan's eyebrows rose even more.

"Yeah, he found me once, a while back," Aitana shrugged, "I think right outside, actually."

Spencer nodded. "Yeah. I needed to talk to her anyway."

"Really? Talking? That's it?" Morgan made no attempt to hide his teasing smirk.

"I-I don't know what's going on anymore…" Aitana said slowly, glancing at Spencer for some help. The latter was glaring at Morgan.

JJ snickered. "I do but it's best not to get into it. We should start heading in – Garcia's pretty upset." She reached for Aitana's hand and pulled her for the steps.

"Not funny," Spencer muttered to Morgan as they followed the women. Morgan thought it was pretty funny.

All jokes ended when the group gathered together in the conference room to discuss the case. One of the people who attended Penelope's support group had gone missing. It was also the anniversary of the woman's daughter's kidnapping.

"So we can safely assume we're dealing with the same unsub," Aitana said right off the bat. It was the only logical conclusion they could draw until evidence showed otherwise.

Penelope didn't want to outright agree but when she mentioned the fact the victim, Monica, had been left a letter allegedly from her daughter, it made more sense.

"The anniversary could have been the trigger," Rossi agreed.

"We can't rule out the possibility that Monica committed suicide," Hotch offered the other possibility even though Penelope refused.

"No. No, Monica would — would never hurt herself," she assured the group, "She—she still thought Hope was alive."

"Is the father in the picture?" asked Emily.

"No, he died in a car accident right before Hope was born."

Spencer had taken the only evidence they had from the abduction – Hope's letter – to scan it. "There's no postmark, which means this letter was obviously hand-delivered."

"You do a full linguistic analysis," Hotch said, "We need to determine authenticity."

JJ leaned closer to Spencer's seat to get a glimpse of the letter. "There's a butterfly drawn next to Hope's name. That has to mean something."

"There was no sign of struggle at the scene," Morgan told the others since he had been the first one Penelope had called. He did a scan of the scene himself.

"Her going willingly wouldn't be such a stretch," Aitana shrugged, "If it was the same unsub, all it would take is for him to tell Monica a couple details of Hope and she'd be more than compliant."

"Still, it's pretty high-risk to abduct in such a high-traffic area," Hotch said, drawing from what Morgan had told him earlier of the scene. "The parking lot was right next to a strip mall."

"Any witnesses?" asked Emily.

"I was the last person that saw her," Penelope said with a sigh.

"Unless we have reason to believe otherwise, we should assume that the same unsub is responsible for both abductions," said Hotch, "So let's get started."

The others agreed and started getting up.

Aitana took that as her chance to hurry to her office for a change of clothes. She already couldn't stand the fact she didn't get to go home for a shower first but at least a change of clothes would help her out a bit, along with some perfume. She pulled on a white button-down shirt and black pants, slipped on a pair of flats, fixed her hair as much as she could and returned to the team ready to work. By the time she rejoined, Emily and Rossi had gone to Monica's home to do another examination while the rest of the team remained back to go over Hope's case.

"So this letter Monica allegedly received from her daughter contains no indication of female authorship," Spencer was telling the others. He had Hope's letter on the screen behind him. "It lacks expression of emotional attachment."

"The unsub wrote it?" Hotch presumed.

"I believe so. The language used is inconsistent with that of a 15-year-old held in captivity for 7 years."

"No way that he forced her to write it then?" Aitana said as she came up behind Penelope's chair.

"I don't think so," Spencer shook his head. "By this point in time, Hope would have Stockholm syndrome and she'd be more than compliant to write a letter. The language doesn't fit."

"Uh, I just got a hit on someone who matches Monica's description at a gas station 17 miles outside of Manassas," Penelope said with an urgent urgent in her tone. She pulled up the security camera she talked about and sure enough they saw Monica conversing with a man in the gas station store.

"Hope's not with him," noted JJ.

"It looks like they're having a conversation," Spencer said a couple seconds later. Monica seemed totally at ease and not at all frightened.

"She's cooperating," JJ realized. "Garcia, can you get any closer?"

Penelope tried with all her might. "No. No, I can't get a good look at him."

"Don't fret, he's doing it on purpose," Aitana said as she moved around Penelope's chair. "Look at the unsub's body language. He's shielding himself from the cameras. He knows where they are and he knows exactly what he's doing."

A couple seconds later in the video, Monica made a hasty retreat out the store.

"She leaves, but the unsub stays?" Even as Spencer asked, the others were still trying to wrap their heads around the phenomenon.

"Because the unsub knows she won't actually go," Aitana said, watching as the unsub left the store a couple minutes later. "He's in control."

Hotch agreed. "He's not worried about her contacting the authorities. Garcia, run the pump receipts against the timeline. Maybe he used a credit card."

Penelope was quick to go through the information. "Pumps one...through 9. Nothing. Who goes to a gas station and doesn't buy anything?"

Spencer moved to the map he'd brought in and checked a couple of the sites between the support group and the station they were in. "There are plenty of service stations between the community center and here, but he drove her clear across town. This place must mean something to the both of them."

"This could be where it all started," theorized Hotch.

When Emily, Morgan and Rossi returned, the group had already gotten a report from the person who lived in Monica's old home. She'd been there with the unsub, in the latter's car, completely fine.

"The old man didn't get much of a description on the unsub or the truck," said JJ as she went over the notes, "He did say Monica had been by a lot recently. Apparently somebody dropped a letter for her a week ago. The owner called her to come pick it up, and ever since then she's been parked outside the house."

"What's this guy doing with her?" Penelope asked with all the indignance of the world. She didn't understand the game here!

"If he's had Hope captive for 7 years, she's completely compliant by now," Spencer said, "He might have abducted Monica as a reward for good behavior."

"Or he could be getting off on the fact that he successfully abducted a mother and a daughter," Rossi suggested, not that it was a better reason.

"Okay," Aitana returned to the group with a file in her hand, "So I went back through the original Hope case and Monica's statement the day of Hope's abduction confirmed that she made a purchase at the same gas station hours before Hope went missing. Coincidence that they happened to go there tonight? I think not."

"He's taking her through all the steps of Hope's abduction," Hotch concluded, "Having both of them could have been his plan all along."

JJ made a face; that wasn't sitting right with her. "So are we saying he's sexually diverse, attracted to children and adults?"

"The unsub stalked Monica, so he knew about the spare key under the mat," said Morgan, "He had complete access. So why wait 7 years to circle back if that's the case?"

"The butterfly could symbolically represent not just transformation but maturation of his erotic ideal," Spencer offered another reason.

"Well, he started with easy targets. Children are much easier to abduct, manipulate, and control," Emily listed the unfortunate many reasons, "Or he could be a preferential offender and a situational child molester, meaning adult women have always been his preference, but given the right circumstances he'd offend against a child."

"Monica's not a preference. She's a specific target," Rossi pointed out. This was the whole reason of the case, after all. "He didn't go after just any woman, he went after Hope's mother."

"Which means that Hope is probably dead and he's taken Monica because she reminds him of Hope," Hotch reached the conclusion first.

Penelope couldn't help the distraught face she made upon hearing that. That was all Monica put her faith in and now it turned out her daughter was actually dead.

~ 0 ~

"So, what's the word, genius?" Morgan approached Spencer near the map board. The latter had been working alone and hard for the past hour or so.

"I may have been able to narrow down the unsub's comfort zone," Spencer proudly said as he turned back to meet Morgan. "The gas station was the third point I needed to complete the geographical profile. Factoring in Monica's abduction site and her apartment, I would assume the unsub lives somewhere within this area." He gestured to the circle he drew on the board.

"That would make it easier for him to learn her routines," said Morgan as he eyed the known streets in the area.

"That zone can't be more than 20 miles," Rossi said as he did the same as Morgan. It was a sliver of hope.

JJ finished up with a call and when she hung up, she informed the group that they had yet to find a witness to their case.

Emily and Aitana joined them a couple minutes later with their own findings.

"You know, it looks like there are 5 different reported incidents that we might be able to attribute to this unsub," Emily announced.

"When was the first case reported?" asked Rossi.

"Six months before Hope's abduction," Aitana raised a finger. "And you'll see why we think it's the same guy."

"A 12-year-old girl in the area reported a man taking pictures of her on her way home from school, and 3 weeks after that, she thought he was peeping into her window," Emily started going over the first case from their file. "And then her house was burglarized, and the only thing that was missing were her clothes."

"Well, if that's him, then there was a clear escalation in his M. O. He was building his confidence to abduct Hope and then 7 years later, Monica," Spencer said.

"Except there's a little blip between that and Hope's case," Aitana said, gesturing for Emily to show them something.

Emily revealed an evidence bag with a small butterfly necklace inside. "It was found on Heather Wilson's bike 2 weeks after Hope disappeared."

Penelope's face jerked up from her laptop she brought over to the bullpen. "That's the girl that Hope was playing with when she was abducted." She jumped from her seat and hurried over to Emily.

"There's a message," Aitana said regretfully. She knew Penelope wouldn't like it.

Penelope took the necklace into her hand and read the engraving on it. "'Without you, she wouldn't have been set free. This is a token of my appreciation'?" She looked up, horrified. "He sent a thank-you card to the girl he didn't abduct?"

~ 0 ~

The only logical step afterwards was to once again speak with Heather Wilson, now a high schooler and very different from her childhood photos. High school Heather was brunette now, not blonde, with dark pink streaks in her hair and heavy black eyeliner. As Aitana and JJ approached the girl just outside the school bus, both agents knew that Heather had never outlived the trauma of losing Hope.

"Heather?" JJ called to the teenager. The brunette looked at the two approaching women. "I'm Agent Jareau. This is Agent Serrano. We're with the FBI. We have some questions about Hope Kingston. Do you remember her?"

Heather almost rolled her eyes. "What do you think?"

Fair point. Aitana decided to skip to the crucial part about their visit. "Heather, we have reason to believe that the same man who took Hope abducted her mother last night."

Heather was already a pale shade but when Aitana mentioned the abduction, she went a deep pale shade. "This can't be happening again."

"Did you and Hope play together often?" asked JJ.

"Every day. She was like a sister."

"You told the police that you saw a man watching you guys play that day—"

"Look, I've been through this a thousand times. I wish I could help you more, I really do, but I gotta get to class now." It was clear Heather was making a run for it and as such, Aitana pulled a card she didn't exactly feel proud of but felt was necessary for the greater good.

"You put streaks in your hair because it's a constant reminder of how much you two looked alike!"

Heather froze in her spot. The two agents could see the girl's shoulders beginning to shake. "You don't know anything about me."

"I'm sorry, I…I noticed that in your pictures," Aitana said. She had to apologize for playing that dirty card. "And I also know that you struggle to let people in because you're afraid of losing them. And that you are constantly asking yourself why he took Hope instead of you?"

Heather was in tears, making Aitana feel not much better about herself. "Are you done?"

"Listen, if there's something that you know, please tell us," JJ spoke up out of sympathy for both Heather and Aitana. Neither seemed very much okay.

The good thing is that Heather turned around again, deciding to answer their questions. "It wasn't the first time I had seen him," she admitted. "It was a week earlier when Hope and I were at the park."

"Did he say anything to you?"

"No."

"Can you tell us about the day Hope was abducted?" Aitana regretted asking, knowing how hard it would be for Heather to do it. She was grateful that Heather still tried.

"Um...we were playing hide-and-go-seek in front of her house. I had just finished counting. And I turned around, and there he was...just standing there smiling at me. He was holding a jar of butterflies. He knew that would get my attention. And that's when he asked if he could play. And I told him he could. I'll never forget that voice."

Aitana didn't have a perfect memory like others but she was sure that what Heather had just told them wasn't in the case file. It meant Heather kept it to herself and had only now admitted to it. "Why didn't you ever tell anyone?"

Heather rubbed an eye to dry it. "Because it was my fault. I'm the one who told him that he could play with us. I overheard my dad saying that someone put a butterfly necklace on my bike. Then he asked if I knew who had put it there. It was my chance to come clean...but I just kept my mouth shut!"

"It's not your fault, Heather," JJ said, reaching a comforting hand on Heather's shoulder. "It was that guy's fault, not yours."

Heather nodded to herself but she was a distraught mess with the resurfaced memories.

~ 0 ~

Before returning to the BAU, Aitana very sheepishly asked JJ if she was willing to make a quick detour to her house.

"Thank you!" Aitana practically ran inside her house to have a five minute shower upstairs.

JJ laughed as she stepped inside afterwards. "Don't worry. I won't touch anything!"

"Feel free to grab food!" Aitana hollered from upstairs.

JJ waited patiently in the living room, distracting herself with the large fish tank Aitana had against a wall. It was always a sight to see the various kinds of fishes swimming inside, especially when she knew each fish represented some ungodly fantasy in Aitana's mind. Her personal favorite was the fish representing Mercury. It was simply beautiful.

Aitana came back downstairs wearing a long sleeve blue shirt, black pants and with wet curly hair dangling over her shoulders. "I really needed that," she said as soon as she spotted JJ. The blonde was looking at the portraits on the fireplace.

JJ smiled at the brunette. "Glad you're better now."

"Yes. I'm not really keen on smelling like sweat," Aitana shuddered. "I like my perfume better. Plus smelling like soap over sweat is good on any day."

JJ laughed. She had to agree there. "I'm sure it'll be worth it when you have your competition. When is it again?"

"Right, it's next month on the 23rd. Eleven a.m. at the park."

"I will jot it down on the calendar," JJ promised, "I'm sure Henry will love the dances."

"It'll be all vibrant colors and full of food," Aitana said, shaking her head to get rid of some droplets. "It's like a mini-festival. Fun for the whole family!"

"Sounds like the perfect place, then. I can't remember the last time Will, Henry and I got to do something as a family. This job doesn't exactly leave a lot of room for planning."

"I know," Aitana sighed. "That's why I was so reluctant to accept the dance proposal in the first place. Elia convinced me; I used to do this way before Witness Protection. But I'm still super nervous about it."

"I bet," JJ said, "I used to do volleyball in high school and no matter how many times I played a game, seeing the crowd always made me nervous."

"My grandmother's flying in from Mexico to come see me dance," Aitana crossed the living room to stand beside JJ. "She used to dance folklore professionally in her day and she was always so happy that one of her granddaughters followed in her footsteps." JJ chuckled. "She was so upset that I stopped dancing — she has no idea about Witness Protection — so now that I started dancing again, she wants to come see me."

"And let me guess, you're even more nervous about that?" JJ only bothered to ask out of sheer politeness. The answer was clear as day on Aitana's face.

"Yes," Aitana let out a heavy breath. "I haven't danced in years. What if I'm terrible?"

"I don't think so," JJ said, "I bet you're a wonderful dancer."

"Spencer said something like that too. He thinks I shouldn't worry too much; that my grandmother just wants to see me."

"Ah," JJ's eyebrows raised significantly as she fought back a smile. "So he knew that too?"

Aitana nodded her head. Her eyes had fallen on a portrait on the mantle to notice the look on JJ's face. "Yeah. I mean, he's probably right but it doesn't take all the nerves away."

"Well," JJ folded her arms over her chest, "Spence does tend to be right most of the time."

Aitana cracked a smile. "I've noticed." She picked up a portrait and turned it over to JJ. "That's my grandmother."

JJ took the portrait into her hands and studied the picture. It was an elderly woman with soft brown eyes, reminiscent of her granddaughter's. She stood beside a slightly younger Aitana and Mateo Serrano. They seemed to be on a ranch judging by the natural scenery behind them.

"I haven't seen her since before Witness," Aitana said, "Safe to say I am nervous from all angles."

"Don't be," JJ said, handing Aitana the portrait back, "Because I can tell from that picture that she loves you so much. She'll be proud of you no matter what."

Aitana shrugged. "Yeah, I guess so." She carefully put the portrait back on its place. "We should get back. I'm sure Penelope's going crazy."

JJ nodded in agreement. "Yeah, let's go."

Aitana moved ahead first and swiped her keys off the foyer table.

"Hey Aitana, I really think you should ease up about your grandmother," JJ said as they headed for the car. "I know it's easier said than done but you're going to be great. And I'm sure that Spencer probably already told you that too."

"You guys are in sync or something," Aitana sarcastically said, even feigning a surprised gap.

"We've known each for more than years now," JJ reminded her. They climbed into the car and grabbed their seatbelts. "Which is why I know that you should listen to him."

"Mm, it's easier said than done, remember?" Aitana's face fell grim for a second. "Lately I've been thinking more about how I act thanks to Witness Protection. Sometimes, I feel like I'm still not all that great. This is actually the first big event I go to after that. It's scary."

JJ could figure as much considering the big event that Aitana had to go through. "It's a normal part of PTSD." She started driving into the road.

"But it's not like the cases that we see or talk about. There's just moments where I have to stop…" Aitana felt like she should just get over it and leave the label for people who actually suffer enormously from it. She had blips, moments — could that be considered PTSD?

"It's part of it," JJ told her, "And big or small, you have every right to process it. It's not something to be ashamed of."

Aitana shrugged meekly. "That's why I kept quiet about the dance too. Sorry about that."

"Don't even worry about it," JJ smiled, "Just know that we're all going to be there, cheering you on."

Aitana had no doubt about that. She would focus on that instead, or at least try to before the competition.

~0~

Aitana and JJ returned to the BAU after the profile had been delivered. The two agents joined their team to continue discussing their next steps. Somehow, Hotch and Rossi came up with the conclusion that maybe their unsub was actually part of Penelope's support group.

"That would just be horrendous," Aitana whispered to Morgan and Emily as they watched JJ take Penelope away to conduct a cognitive session.

"Among everything else about this case?" Morgan raised an eyebrow at her. She deadpanned him but of course he was right.

Half an hour later, JJ and Penelope re-emerged with a clear idea of who the unsub was. Penelope vividly remembered a man in her support group who went after Monica towards the end of the group session.

"So William Rogers joined the support group 2 months ago," JJ told the rest of the group in the conference room. "Garcia's still looking for an address."

"Any priors?" asked Hotch.

JJ nodded. "Yeah. An attempted kidnapping of a 14-year-old. He lured her to a studio with promises of becoming a model. When she got there, he made sexual advances. She got away."

"You know, rethinking the type of offender he was 7 years ago, it's possible the unsub didn't sexually assault Hope initially but waited until she was older," Spencer said after a moment's thought. His theory had the others thinking as well.

"That would explain why he held on to her all this time," Emily said, he'd head bobbing from one side to the other, "In his fantasy, he might envision Hope at a more desirable age."

"What story did he use to get into the support group?" Hotch asked JJ.

"Well, he told them his pregnant wife committed suicide. Apparently they were trying to conceive for over a year."

"And that wasn't just a story," sighed Aitana. No chance of that. "Hope couldn't bear the thought of bringing his child into this world, so she took what little control she did have and ended her life."

"And that was never part of his plan," Rossi said with a shake of his head. "It turned his world upside down. He's not ready to let go of the bond he had with Hope. And now he's trying to get back what was taken from him."

"Wouldn't it just be easier for him to start over again?" JJ said, exasperated with the constant loops.

"Unless Monica could give him what he lost," Morgan said slowly like he was still coming to the conclusion. "...another didn't take Monica to remind him of Hope, he took her to recreate her."

The conclusion also brought the team to another dark matter that meant Monica was in even more danger than they previously thought.

~0~

"Where is Penelope going?" Emily asked Morgan when she and Aitana spotted Penelope heading straight for the elevator. They had just gotten the home addresses of William from Penelope herself.

Morgan seemed tired and it wasn't from the lack of sleep. "I tried telling her 'no'. Either of you want to take a go?"

Emily and Aitana exchanged glances, both silently asking each other who wanted to take a turn.

"I...will go get her a vest," Aitana declared.

Morgan smiled tightly. "Yeah."

The team split into two groups to take each address. Hotch, Emily, Rossi and Aitana's location turned out to be the old address William still used, no doubt for illegal reasons. It all looked perfectly normal for it not to be a hideout. One call to JJ and they found out that the second address was the real home, the one with all of Hope's things, including her own corpse.

Poor Penelope was so out of it when they were able to close the case, and with good reason. Monica had taken the only control she had in the situation and killed Bill with his own gun. It was deemed self control and emotional in the moment, but it didn't take away the fact that Monica would probably not be coming back to the support group.

"She'll just need some time," JJ told Morgan who'd come from a failed attempt of talking to Penelope. The blonde had locked herself in her office.

"I know," Morgan nodded. In truth, it was always what one of them needed after a particularly hard case.

"Why don't we go out for a drink or something?" Emily said on her way up to them. It was like she had been part of the conversation the whole time, reading minds.

"I'm all for it," JJ said, letting out a big breath.

"Me too," Morgan nodded. "Who's going to tell the local hush-hushers over there?"

Both JJ and Emily laughed as Morgan gestured up ahead of them to Aitana and Spencer. It seemed like Aitana was looking at something Spencer held in his hands.

"Yeah, I already went to the first three," Aitana pointed at the three store names Spencer wrote down for her weeks ago. "They didn't have the right one. I'm going to go to the last store tomorrow."

"I have a couple other ideas where you might be able to find them," Spencer said, grabbing his knapsack off his desk. "We can go later this week if you want?"

"Sure!" Aitana exclaimed. They started walking towards the elevator, giving brief waves at the others on their way past them.

"Who's going to tell them?" Morgan made the question as if he was dead serious on the matter, and maybe he was.

JJ half snorted, almost laughing.

"C'mon," Emily patted Morgan's arm, "First round's on me."

That time, JJ did laugh.

[knizuu]

DECIDED A REBLOG WOULDN’T BE ENOUGH- // FANG RANT PT 2

Ok ok ok, WE BACK AND CHATTIN’. TIME TO GRAB POPCORN OR WATER IDK TO ENJOY MY RANT <33 +uhh warning ig: get ready for BEEG over analyzation lol 

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Soooo

Notice the color used on the arrows? Symbolizing yellow and red? If you see this conversation as a mockin’ful, you can relate the meanings. If used negatively [seems fitting for this scene], you get this: Yellow meaning cowardice, and red meaning warning. 

Honestly, this is VERY fitting, knowing how scared Fang is in Fang’s Big Break. The amount of fear he gets in Superstars as a whole really makes you worry for him. Bean is pretty explanatory, he’s “getting tired of Fang’s antics”. Reason for Bark not having the arrow, I'm not sure, possibly because he’s not verbally arguing, or he’s not as mad as the others. Either way, I think Bark is just more caring about the situation. With this hypothetical situation, I think Fang is just scared that he’ll be alone. So he turns reactive in the face of a jerky persona. For Bean, he’s gaining more independence. I know this rant isn’t about ‘im but I really do realize how much Bean is getting as a character. He’s speaking more, asking the questions, getting sassy more on screen. 

Okay, now let’s get into connecting Fang’s Big Break with Fang the Hunter. I’m claiming that FTH is before FBB, because I’m sure that’s the motion for it. Looking at the images below, don’t they look similar? Somewhat? Now I want you to mash those frames up, with the speech including the thoughts.

“Bean?! Bark?!” [Get your act together! You’re repeating your past mistakes! You’re better than this! You have to be!] Both are in distress, and it shows how much content is missing from the cover [saying that Fang is just what he shows to be]. And even if both situations are VERY DIFFERENT: See how that helps my case even more. In FTH, he’s with his crew and now they’re gone. Of course he’s gonna yell out for them, that’s the first instinct. This is expected, if you lost the people near you, of course you’re gonna call for ‘em. Nothing deep is seen here, but for the right image, I differ. I say it over and over again, but he really is trying to be better. The context is, he’s on a hunt and he angered a bird who now is chasing him along with crushing his cork gun. A big difference between the situations is that he STARTED alone compared to becoming alone. With no one else in his mind, he’s gonna worry for himself. But he isn’t getting mad about being alone [at least, from what’s written], he’s not yelling for help, he has only himself to talk to. And what does he notify himself? “Get your act together”. He’s trying to stop his mistakes, whatever that may be. 

Let’s use that past sentence, and although it ails Hooligan fans [INCLUDING ME AHHHHHH </3], let’s imagine Bean, Bark, and Fang harshly separated. If you put that hypothetical with Fang’s thoughts, you can imagine he’s telling himself to stop being careless.+SINCE I’M STILL MAKING THIS HAPPY, THIS HYPOTHETICAL DEF HAS BEAN AND BARK COMING BACK <33

From sources, people push others away so that they won’t get hurt. Well, you could use that to correlate with Fang’s behavior. 

This is what Sega calls him, a jerk, “our favorite jerky jerboa!”, even in Archie, “And a total jerk”. This actually lines up with pushing others away, making this term more seemingly true. Going to the main point, you can see why Fang would want to stop acting this way. It led him to be alone, without “his boys”, without the zaniness that his gang brings him. It’s not the same anymore. (this is where I insert my shipping blast btw)

 In Superstars, this is correct! We don’t see Bean or Bark, we’re introduced to Trip [a WHOLE NEW gal], Fang is working very close to Eggman, and heck, his tech got upgraded.

*okay rando thing: In FTH, he wishes the Marvelous Queen gets the upgrades she needs to take Sonic down. In Superstars, he gets more than that, he gets his own robot ALONG with tons of upgrades for the MQ…if FTH is before Superstars, would he feel achievement? Somehow? +yknow, until it blows up [yeh, i'm not joking] 

BACK TO LE COMIC, …oh ye I technically went over everything. Or at least, what goes into his mentality,..UHH

Let’s look at Trip rq. Trip the Lizard gets an entire arc in Superstars! Her dynamic between her and Fang is simple, Trip tries to help or Trip tries to do what Fang says and Fang just relents and belittles her. Once Trip gets kicked by Fang, [Trip had to gull to stop Fang] she gains her heroism and sides with Sonic. Fang gets defeated by her anddddd ye that’s the last of Fang in that story. Now, I'm gonna show how sweet she was, even if Fang wouldn’t return the respect. 

I know Sonic Channel isn’t usually taken as canon, but like SHE GIVES HERSELF THE BAD PANCAKE, LIKE AWHH<33 And she doesn’t give up when given commands, tho that can be because she’s verbally forced to. And in the left image, Fang isn’t mad or annoyed about her behavior. Obviously it’s a calm setting, +he’s getting something good. Gosh, he looks surprised, or a little concerned,  because “Why is she still being like this after the stuff I push her through?” It’s not new to him though, it’s like Bean and Bark all over again. They stick together through many things. But the more he doesn’t let others in his life, he’ll just get hurt more and more. This is where I'd say Fang should try to listen to himself, “Get your act together” “You’re better than this”, but in the sense he should open up, that he should be more emotional and let his mind speak. I think that explains why he’s unlikable to some, he’s just reacting madly with no reason. And if I were to find a reason, it’d be because he’s not getting what he deserves, a close bond. And bringing up the sad fact, if he doesn’t let himself be himself, he’s not going to get what he needs. I swear, he’s regretting his choices, but it seems like he’s gone far. Trip could’ve helped but she moved sides. In FTH, Bean and Bark are staying, and I can only hope it STAYS.THAT. WAY. Cause like, Team Hooligan has been together for SO LONG, Bean and Bark are having fun with Fang, and Fang is leveled out with Bean and Bark. 

Ngl, this is supposed to be a “This is why the way he is” more than “He’s justifiable”, but I think my rant could give new insight as to why he’s not a horrible character. Especially when there’s so many others already avoiding an unlikable Fang, Fang Gang being my prime example :] cause we love the silly jerboa! We don’t STOP loving him, and we make sure of that. <33

[lemoncrushh]

Out of Bounds - Chapter 32

STORY PAGE

Word Count: 2595

The weekend went by pretty fast. Harry had to work both Friday and Saturday night. Penny's band had a gig on Friday, so I went with Zack to go see them play. Joey met us up there as well, and it was nice to get to know him a little better. He's a sweet guy and fun to be around. He confided in me that he was a bit envious of Harry, and hoped he could find a nice gal like me. He asked if I had any friends I could hook him up with, to which I laughed and said no, but I'd be on the lookout.

Penny and I slept in on Saturday, both with slight hangovers. Then we watched chick flicks all day in our pajamas. Harry called before he left for work like he always did, and once he'd returned.

Before I knew it, it was Monday and time to go back to school. Professor Jacobson delved quickly into a lecture about our final chapter, giving us a heads-up on a quiz planned for the next week before our final exam. Professor Lloyd was also in full accelerator mode. Because I had missed so much of both classes when I'd been sick, I was rather behind. Fortunately for History class, all I really needed to do was study the end of the previous chapter. With English, however, I had missed the introduction to the new book that Lloyd had assigned, and apparently had told us to get on started on during the week of Thanksgiving. I had a lot of catching up to do.

I wasn't in the door ten minutes when my cell phone rang. A number that I didn't recognize was displayed, but because I had applied for a few jobs, I decided to answer it. I quickly regretted it.

"Hello, Tisa, this is Glenn Goodner."

It took me a moment to recognize the name, but once I did, I grimaced. The divorce lawyer.

"Hello," I greeted through my teeth.

"How are you today?" he asked in a cheerful voice.

I sighed. "I'm okay."

"Fantastic. I was calling to let you know a date has been set for court. Monday, the twenty-sixth of January, at two PM."

I was grateful that he hadn't continued with the small talk and just cut to the chase.

"That's fine," I told him softly. "Thanks."

"You're quite welcome," Glenn replied. "See you then."

He didn't wait for me to respond. I held my phone in my hand, debating whether or not to call Harry. Not that there was really much to say. The date was set. Done deal.

Instead, I made a sandwich and opened my laptop to search for more jobs. If I didn't find something soon, even if it was just temp, I might have to start applying for holiday help at the mall. The thought of that made my stomach churn, but at least it would be something. I had very little money in the bank. When I'd taken my last temp job, I'd opened a checking account of my own. The job hadn't been a financial necessity, but more of something to keep myself busy. I hadn't worked that job for very long, however, and the money would soon run out. I needed something fast.

I went to Harry's that night so we could go over our Sociology report again, but really it was just an excuse to see each other. We still had to present our report the next day since I'd been unable to that week before Thanksgiving, but we still knew it backwards and forwards.

"You okay, love?" Harry asked me, running a hand through my hair as I laid against his chest on the sofa.

"Yeah, why?"

"You seem...distracted. Like something's on your mind."

I scoffed. "There's a lot of things on my mind."

"Tell me."

I sighed loudly, gathering my thoughts. Harry pointed the remote at the television and turned it off, giving me his full attention.

"The date is set," I said matter-of-factly.

The room filled with silence before Harry muttered, "Oh. When is it?"

"January 26th."

"Okay. That's good, yeah?"

I paused for a moment. "Yes. Yes, I supposed it is."

I ran my hands over Harry's which were placed gently on my stomach. I traced the bottom of the anchor tattoo on his wrist with my finger and played with his rings.

"What else?" asked Harry. I'd been so lost in my own head, I almost jumped.

"I...um..." I stumbled. "I'm on my own, Harry."

"No, you're not," he argued. "You have me." He squeezed me tighter, kissing me on the top of my head.

"That's not what I mean," I frowned.

"I'm sorry. What do you mean?"

I bit my lip. "I haven't been on my own since I was twenty-one. I knew that when I left, but I guess it's just now really hitting me. I barely have any money. James is going to stop paying my bills. I have to get a job, and so far, no luck. And obviously I can't go to school after this semester is over. I guess I never really considered all of the things I took for granted being married. It's like I'm back at square one. I'm kind of scared to be honest."

Harry was quiet for a while, his hands still on my stomach. I could hear his breathing, feel his heart beating. Finally, he cleared his throat and spoke.

"Are you reconsidering?"

I widened my eyes. "The divorce? Oh God, Harry, no!" I sat up and glared at him. "Why would you think that?"

The look on his face showed a mix of worry and concern. He blinked a couple times before answering.

"It's just...I guess I could understand if you did."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "That's an awful thing to say."

"Tisa," Harry shook his head, "Putting my feelings for you aside. I just mean I could understand a woman finding comfort in security. I'm sure there's lots of women who stay in unhappy marriages for that reason."

"I don't want to be that woman," I commented.

Harry's expression softened. "Okay."

"I'm just afraid," I admitted.

"I understand that too. But you know I'm here for you. I'll help out any way I can."

"Harry, I can't ask you to do that."

"It's fine," he added. "If you're in a financial bind, I'm sure between Penny, Zack and me we can work it out until you're on your feet."

I sighed, leaning my head against his chest again, wrapping my arms around his torso.

"Thank you," I breathed into his t-shirt.

"It's what people do, Tisa," Harry expressed, rubbing my back. "They're kind to those they love and help when they can."

"Sounds like a Hallmark commercial," I joked.

"Don't mock me," Harry demanded, poking me in the side causing me to giggle.

"Or better yet, a Savings and Loan commercial."

This time Harry grabbed me and pinned me to the couch. He began tickling me, and I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe.

"Oh, I got it! State Farm!"

Before I could utter another word, Harry silenced me with his mouth on mine. His hands finally stilled from tickling me, and I fell into his kiss.

Crawford gave us another A and didn't count off points for my being sick. The rest of class was spent discussing the next chapter and our final presentations.

As Harry and I left class, I noticed Leslie looking at me funny. It wasn't really a piercing glare like she and the other mean girls would usually give, but it wasn't really pleasant either. I also took note of her friend Charice, who usually kept quiet anyway, but this time she wasn't even walking with Leslie. Instead, she'd stayed back at her desk, packing up her belongings until Leslie had left the classroom.

When Harry and I said our goodbyes and I watched him walk away, I caught a glimpse of Liz out of the corner of my eye. When I turned, I realized she was coming towards me.

"Hi, Tisa," she greeted, stopping in front of me.

"Hi," I said quietly.

"How are you?" she inquired.

"I'm okay."

I brushed a strand of hair behind my ear, not really sure what else to say. Liz had been helpful that day in the restroom, and I was glad that she didn't despise me, but we weren't exactly friends.

"That's good," she commented. "Everything okay with you and Harry?"

I pursed my lips and tried to keep myself from rolling my eyes. Here we go again.

"Yeah, why?"

Liz shrugged. "Just wondering." She paused to look at her feet before continuing. "I just kind of wanted to warn you about Britney."

This time I did roll my eyes. "I'm not worried about Britney."

"I know," she nodded. "And you shouldn't be, really. I think she's pretty harmless. But..."

"But what?" I raised an eyebrow.

"It's just..." Liz let out an exasperated breath. "She's still hung up on Harry."

"And?"

"Well...I haven't talked to her...you know, since I talked to you last. She's still pretty mad at me. But I know she's still friends with Leslie. And apparently she told Leslie that she didn't give a crap that Harry's with you. Because she's determined to get him."

I thought my eyes would fall out of their sockets from rolling them around so much.

"This is all so stupid and juvenile," I said.

"I know," Liz agreed. "I just wanted to give you a heads up. She's apparently still after him, so she'll probably be showing up at Mikado's a lot."

"Thanks," I groaned.

"You're welcome. Like I said, just thought I'd warn you. Glad you're feeling better."

Liz waved goodbye before I headed to the parking lot. As I drove home I was still shaking my head at all this Britney nonsense. It was somewhat humorous, but also very annoying. I hated stooping to her level, but the thought that kept racing through my mind was...Harry is mine! By the time I walked in the door, I was chuckling to myself.

My light mood was soon drained, however, when I noticed I had a text from Justine. Actually, it was more like a book. It was a good thing I kept my sound turned off during class, because she had sent me several messages in a row. More curious than anything, I sat on the sofa to read them.

J: Tisa, I know you don't want to talk to me. If I call, I know you won't answer, and if I leave a voicemail, you'll probably just delete it without listening to it. You might delete this too, but I figured this was my best shot at getting you to hear me out.

First of all, I'm not with James. In a way, I never really was "with" James. When he first called me and I met with him, he was very upset. I admit, I felt sorry for him. When I said I didn't tell him about you and Harry, that was the absolute truth. He figured it out on his own.

I was also truthful about Halloween night. I was with James that night. I felt really guilty about it afterwards, but then when the P.I. got your photos and James was angry, he came over and said he wanted to stay with me. I let him. Then the guilt started setting in again so I told him to go home to you. I knew you were having an affair with Harry, but I didn't want to be the cause of your marriage ending. I realize now that was completely selfish of me, and I'm sorry.

Up to this point, I honestly didn't know how serious things were with you and Harry. I contacted Glenn Goodner when James told me he wanted a divorce. Like I'd told you, Glenn was my divorce lawyer. But what I didn't tell you was that we used to have a thing. After my divorce from Chris, we went out a couple times and it turned into something. I'm not sure what to call it really. We were sleeping together, but it never got serious. We also would drink together. A lot.

Anyway, after I connected James with Glenn, we'd sometimes meet up at Mikado's. Sometimes it was just James and me, sometimes Glenn and me. It's cruel of me I know, but at first it felt good to play the spy, checking up on your boyfriend. Then, as usual, I felt guilty.

One night, James confided in me that he hadn't always been faithful to you. He told me about two times he cheated, but the way he confessed them to me made me think those weren't the only times. In fact, he made it sound like it was just a normal thing husbands do when they're stressed out and need a release. I was appalled.

I broke it off with James, telling him we shouldn't see each other anymore. That was the day before I ran into you at the supermarket. I really wanted to talk to you then, to make amends. You were such a good friend to me and I treated you like crap. But I guess I got what I deserved.

After that I called up Glenn. My rational side said not to, especially since he's James's lawyer. But I did anyway, and we went out drinking. I already had a good buzz going when he suggested we head over to Mikado's. Harry was our waiter. I started drinking heavily, as did Glenn, and I was feeling bitter that you hadn't wanted to talk to me. I don't remember everything, but I know some harsh words were thrown and I somehow got Harry fired.

I can't even express to you how very sorry I am, Tisa. I've been the worst friend. I just wanted to tell you the complete truth. If you don't believe me, I'll understand. I hope one day you'll find it in your heart to forgive me, but if not, I'll understand that too. You deserve all the happiness in the world, and if that's what Harry gives you, then he's perfect for you.

As I said, I'm no longer in contact with James, nor with Glenn. Not only because I think they are toxic for me, but because I still consider you my friend, and I need to do what's right.

If you decide to text me back, I'll be here. I wish you all the best.

I set my phone down on the end table and went into Penny's kitchen to find something for lunch. After finishing some leftover pasta and watching two reruns of The Golden Girls, I washed the dishes, picked up my laptop, and did more job searching.

It wasn't that I was trying to avoid the text. It wasn't really even that I didn't want to reply. I just didn't know what to say.

Finally, I closed my computer, sat back and picked up my phone again.

T: Thanks for the text. I forgive you. But only because I feel in my heart that's the right thing to do. I think it's better though if we are not friends.

After hitting send, I returned the phone to the table and took a deep breath. I leaned my head back on the couch, waiting for the tears to fall, but they never came.

MASTERLIST | KO-FI | FEEDBACK

[catgirl-catboy]

Hey! I watched the new total drama season you send I enjoyed the new season I must say

Did you enjoyed it? What is your opinions?

I really did enjoy it, but I also think it had the same flaws as the rest of the total drama series, as expected. (the danganronpa ask is sitting half completed because I got a case of the TD brainworms!)

Namely, that except for gen 2, every generation has a character whose personality is 80% fart jokes. Now, I love me a fart joke as much as any self-respecting 12 y/o boy, so its not that I don't find them funny. But I also think that a character shouldn't just be gross-out humor, and should have some other qualities to them. How does Ripper's bullying affect the goal of the game. Why is he on total drama if his main ambition in life is something else? He clearly feels insecure, but so does his designated victim. Explore that!

One take I saw floating around is that Emma and Chase's relationship is repetitive and annoying. That was the point! You aren't meant to ship them, and Bowie's thoughts on them are meant to mirror the audiences! That being said, I hope they change up the dynamic in season 2 because doing it for another season would get stale.

This is more of a personal preference than a complaint with the writing, but I found Raj's arc in this boring. "realizing you are gay because of a crush and then kissing him" is really overdone, and it felt like the main players in the Rajbow ship were Bowie and WAYNE. This isn't a bad thing, but I hope he becomes a more distinct character in season 2. Maybe Bowie can teach him game strategy and he betrays Wayne to stay in the game longer tee hee hee.

I also don't really agree with the take that Bowie is bad rep because he's a very stereotypical gay man. A lot of total drama characters are based off stereotypes, like Lindsey being the Dumb Blonde and Heather being the Mean Girl. They evolve beyond those tropes throughout the reason of the show, and we actually see that with Bowie in just the one season he was in so far! After Raj got eliminated, he did a whole bunch of plot relevant shit that didn't involve him and was a compelling character outside of his romance plot. I call that a sign of good writing, but this is total drama so who knows if it will last.

And I don't think that TD is saying all gay man are stereotypical, because we have Raj, who is very much not that. He's a dumb jock that happens to be gay, and falls into the jock stereotype more than any gay one. I really respect that writing choice.

Pryia is one of my favorite TD characters, but season 1 Court still takes the number one spot. (even if she is hanging on Hall Monitor coattails!) I adore her! She totally deserved the win.

They made Axel too much like Eva and it felt like a really missed opportunity. We already have Eva and Jo, can we have a more GNC gal character that isn't totally aggressive? I'd like that. Hopefully, she becomes more of a player in the second series?

I also wish they gave Julia a different strategy than Heather. If a character needs constant immunity to stay in the game, then maybe they deserve to leave the game at that stage. Its overdone. I also feel like Julia showed skills in turning people against each other, which could have easily been her M.O. That being said, my favorite Villain Elimination by a longshot.

I really liked the energy brought to the jokes about Zee's leg. It doesn't come up often since my hearing aid isn't too visible, but if I have the opportunity to joke about my disability, I will take it! He's probably one of my favorite disabled rep besides Toph, and I'm glad that he wasn't looked down upon by his team during challenges. He didn't struggle with any challenges, and his leg actually helped at one point!

(one time, a teacher asked in frustration if anyone was deaf in here. Saying "Yes :)" was my crowning achievement and one of the best jokes I ever made. Its not relevant, but c'mon.)

I wish he had more of a character outside of comic relief, but still!!!

[unadulteratedkr]

character asks: 13, 20, 21 for Archie

You know me so well, omg Archie my beloved

13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?

I feel like the easy answer here is 🐍🐍🐍, but I think Archie also is an abuser of using the eggplant emoji. Just for anything that makes her giggle, she sends 🍆🍆🍆. Jim at one point goes "uhhhh, did you know what that typically means?" and Archie very cheerfully replies "yep!" Peak himbo dyke energy from my gal Archie

Oh, and also 💪

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

OKAY FIRST, I JUST NEED TO TAKE A MOMENT TO GEEK OUT ABOUT HOW LIKE, EVERYONE LOVES ARCHIE?! THE SHEER AFFECTION FOR MY FAVORITE CROSSBOW SLINGING LESBIAN MAKES ME WANT TO CRY.

All this being said, I need---I NEED---Archie and Anne Bonny to meet and become immediate chaotic besties complete with friendship bracelets and matching arsonist kits.

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

I haven't had a chance to REALLY write anything for her yet outside of a bit-character appearance in a few things, and I'm having fun playing with some different things with her. One thing I LOVE is that she's got a lot of the same emotional baggage we see with Ed, where she's grown up in a world that said "love and hope and soft things aren't for us" and she's chasing after it a little recklessly anyways. I don't know if there's something I don't like yet??? She's literally everything to me. Archie, my beloved 🥺

Send me a character, and I'll answer a question about them!

[six-06]

So some (drunk) hardcore gamer friends of mine have recently introduced me to the black hole that is Dead By Daylight. I can only play the mobile version, but I'm having fun so far, but from watching them and other people play, I just... Don't understand how people can be so salty????

Like when I'm the Survivor and I realize I'm not gonna make it, I go down making sure my teammates have a chance. I'm on death hook and you've just gotten your first hook? Everybody else is too far away or doing Gens? I'll get myself taken out making sure you're off the hook before it gets to it's second stage, I don't care if Ghostface is standing there camping out and teabagging you. Or I'll body block to give you more time to wiggle, or sabotage hooks, or... whatever.

I don't disconnect even when I'm getting tunneled because hey, at least tunneling me is giving my teammates time to do gens. Save yourselves I'll struggle as long as I can to keep them busy. It IS still hell of annoying, I'll admit that, but it's not technically against any rules?

(By the way, if you're a Bill main you're my hero and you have my mad respect, every time I'm in a match with a Bill they are such an absolute bro and champion and they help me do gens and rescue my dumb newbie ass from hooks and heal me. Seriously, love you guys. 😘)

And if I'm playing Killer and I realize I'm not getting any kills, I'm not salty about that either. Sure, it's disappointing but at the same time kind of fine with me, I don't necessarily enjoy hurting people. (Ironic since I'm not too bad at Killer, compared to being a garbage Survivor.)

You wanna teabag me mockingly at the exit? Cool, cool, I'll headbang along. I mean, if you get close I'm still gonna smack you for the points, but unless you're dumb enough to pester me rather than escaping more than once, I'm just gonna let you go and break some pallets for points as you do, maybe close the hatch if I can find it in time.

Hell, last night as the Trapper I just set a shit ton of traps in front of the exit gates when I saw all four players inside teabagging me so I could get points for setting the traps and they could get points for disarming them. Then I'd reset them and repeated until they were about out of time, so I smacked them to give them a speed boost to the exit. Everybody came out with over 15,000 bloodpoints, so that was pretty cool.

It might just be the game is new to me and I'm not disillusioned yet, and I'm not trying to flex or anything, I just legitimately can't understand how people can rage-quit and put the other players in a bad place. It's supposed to be a game and other than a few tunnelers, so far everyone I've played with has been pretty cool.

And to BOTH those red rank Freddys and that red rank Myers who were tunneling and face-camping a bunch of white ranks with one perk each... RUDE. To the Ghostface that pulled me straight off a nearly-finished Gen out of nowhere and face-camped me, also rude (but fair.) At least teabag me if you're gonna face-camp, you're literally a Ghostface.

But anyway there's only one way to wrap this up: I pretty much main Legion solely for the music. To every Survivor I've played against, thank you all for letting my inefficient Killer ass chase you around and accidentally smack windows rather than vaulting just so I can spam the chase music.

[dweetwise]

I'm hollering at these dummy thicc incidents with the reader and the killers, would Herman tell the others of these incidents or Pyramid Head would do sharades/sign language of how thicc the reader is and now every trial thicc!reader is in is now filled with constant teasing or flirting/wolf whistles from the killers?

[eyy thanks for the prompt! i wasn’t sure where to go with it and it ended up pretty weird, but here it is anyway!]

warning: although it’s portrayed in a light-hearted manner reader does technically get sexually harassed in this, so anyone who’s uncomfortable with it might want to skip this one

Killer thirst: Pyramid Head X dummy thicc reader /X various killers (crack)

“What the hell is wrong with your buddies lately!?” you complain to Pyramid Head. Ever since the two of your started officially dating, the others killers have been shamelessly thirsting after you in trials. The pyramid tilts in a question and he grunts inquisitively. ‘What did they do?’

“Where do I even begin?” you sigh in annoyance.

It started when you were minding your own business, peacefully working on a generator. There had been no sign of the killer and you were just starting to zone out in a daydream about muscular thighs covered by an apron, when you heard a nearly inaudible click. You’d glanced around in confusion before spotting Ghostface laying prone on the ground behind you, camera pointing up at your backside and taking photos of your ass from a lewd angle. The killer chuckled at having been caught as you took off in a sprint, but not before angrily kicking the camera from his hands.

The next trial, you were up on a hook and decided to attempt escape. You reached up to the hook, trying to pull your body weight up, back arching in effort and breasts jiggling from your heaving breath — when you heard a fucking wolf whistle. The killer, the Legion boy with a bandana, was looking at your efforts, leaning cockily against a nearby tree. “What the hell do you want?” you spat, glaring at the teen while still trying to struggle from the hook. The killer shook his head in amusement before doing a crude gesture with his hands, making you falter in surprise and your grip on the hook slip. What a brat!

You’d barely had any time to complain about the two masked killers to your friends, before you were whisked away and to a trial where you’d had to deal with the Clown. “Don’t run, pussycat! Come on over and give daddy some sugar! HUEHUEHUEUGGHH COUGH COUGH!!” The killer had been even more disgusting than usual, yelling obscenities while tunneling and camping you for all five gens. You found yourself almost missing the gross wheezing and coughing the killer normally did, as it was much preferable to whatever the hell this was.

When you’d faced Deathslinger the next trial, you almost already expected an inappropriate comment when he found you first. But he just chased and downed you normally—huh. “Gotta love a gal with some meat on ‘er bones,” the killer finally drawled when picking you up on his shoulder, hands squeezing your love handles. Ah. He just waited for the right moment. When the cowboy hoisted you up on a hook, he’d leaned closer than necessary, muttering a suggestive “Lemme know if yer ever itchin’ fer a ride,” in your ear before leaving to hunt your friends.

When you faced Freddy, you were already prepared for your inevitable doom. Sure enough, soon the perv had you slugged and was standing over you, looking awfully smug. “I’m you boyfriend now, honey cheeks,” he’d chuckled menacingly. “Not even close,” you argued, rolling your eyes. This crispy bacon twink didn’t stand a chance against your real boyfriend, buff as all hell and delightfully mischievous. You sighed happily at your daydream, tuning out Freddy’s incel monologue in the background. Soon enough, the last gen got done and you were up and running with adrenaline, leaving Freddy to bite the dust.

Your next trial was the Pig, and you’d felt elated. Finally a female killer! Your joy was short-lived though, as you were soon cursing out the Jigsaw boxes with a beeping reverse bear trap on your head. When you cut yourself on the damn thing again and had to remove your hands to start over, there was an unmistakable flick of a switchblade before you felt a warm, soft body pressing up against your back and a heartbeat blaring in your ears. “Let me help you with that,” the killer had purred in your ear, voice muffled by her mask. “Wouldn’t want to ruin such a pretty face,” she said, running a finger down your cheek. With her so close, the timer had paused and you were able to search the last box without the threat of your head getting split in half, which you could sort of appreciate.

The last trial you had was with Myers. Surely the taciturn killer would stick to killing you? It always seemed like his only interest in life was murder. He was running his no heartbeat build, which, not ideal but you’d take what you could get. It made you jumpy as hell and, wouldn’t you know it, the next corner you rounded he was standing right there and you nearly bumped into him. Myers raised his hand and you prepared for the stab — when he decided to grab your boob instead. You both froze and you should probably have been offended, but the way his hand just awkwardly rested on your breast was not sexual in the slightest. He tilted his head, giving the flesh a slight squeeze that made you squeak in surprise and goddamnit you were not above slapping him — when Myers recoiled away in disgust and did a complete 180, smacking face first into the wall in his haste to get away from you.

“That’s what happened!” you end your story, crossing your arms and looking at Pyramid Head demandingly. “So, do you have something to say? It seems awfully convenient they decided to perv on me as soon as we made this official!”

The pyramid turns away in shame.

“Babe. What. Did. You. Do,” you try again. There’s a sigh. And then he whistles and makes an hourglass shape with his hands. And then, to your mortification, he does an air thrust.

“Oh my God,” you mumble, burying your face in your hands in shame. Great, he told all the killers about your... assets, and that you’re sleeping together. But why would they approach you and risk his wrath? Unless...

“Did you tell them we’re dating?” you ask. Pyramid Head snorts, and points at... his crotch. Wow, eloquent. “Yeah, you told them we’re fucking, congrats,” you snark, rolling your eyes. “I don’t think they know that we’re, y’know, exclusive. Because they, or at least some of them, weren’t just teasing. They were definitely, uh. Propositioning me,” you clarify.

He’s silent but you can feel him tense up. Then he hums, demanding. ‘Which ones?’

“Uh. The cowboy at least. And that one Legion — actually, you know what, they were all really fucking out of line and need a stern talking to. Err, gesturing to,” you tell him.

To your surprise, he doesn’t just snort and keep cuddling you. He stands up, placing you gently back on your feet before squaring his shoulders and drawing his sword out of the ground, a dark energy radiating off him.

“... You’re not planning on talking, are you?” you ask warily. Not that you particularly care about the well-being of the killers who have murdered you countless time. If anything, it’s kind of hot that Pyramid Head wants to defend your honor like this.

He chuckles darkly, giving your shoulder an encouraging squeeze. ‘Let me handle this’. You watch your boyfriend leave to go find his friends, sword dragging ominously behind him.

[needlekind]

Tell us about your OCs!! Namely whoever has your fixation right now or maybe someone from ArtFight. Wha their name, what's their setting like, what do they do with their day?

this was in response to this reblog i presume and i was too busy yesterday to get to it but i am touched!! TOUCHED!!!! THAT YOU WOULD ROLL UP AND REQUEST THAT I TELL YOU ABOUT MY OC

the oc i am currently fixating on who was also on artfight is MY GAL LAVANA, please behold her (art by motherlusa and then by rubindraws; the second (which features her friend valryn and also her many cats) is a better indicator of her body type but the first is just one of my faves)

i'm playing her in a d&d 5e campaign based in the world of granblue fantasy!!! basically all you need to understand if you don't know shit about gbf is that it takes place in a steampunk kind of world full of floating islands that people called skyfarers travel between using magical airships

so lavana is 23, a draph (a fantasy race where basically the women are shortstacks and the men are huge and beefy; such is the tragic nature of gacha games (there is a trans draph though in canon her name is ladiva and i love her so much)), 4'3", and a fortuneteller on the island of golonzo, a bustling port island with all the sky's best mechanics; if you have an airship, you're going to end up at golonzo for repairs at some point. raised by her older sister after her parents' deaths when she was young, she's got an anxiety disorder and a lot of weird little hangups regarding it. one of them is that every morning she does a tarot reading for her sister's safety—and, like, keep in mind, this is a world where Real magic exists, including Real fortunetelling magic. tarot cards are just cards. but lavana believes in them wholeheartedly!!! she took them up when she was young because she was so scared of her sister leaving and never coming back like her parents, and having a way to "predict the future" and assure herself that her sister would be okay brought her a lot of comfort

so one day she does her morning reading and predicts disaster. lavana absolutely freaks out and runs off to the docks where her sister works as a mechanic. her sister, who doesn't believe in any of lavana's nonsense to the point of being kind of annoyed but being in a place of like "this has gone too far for me to do anything about it at this point," tries to chase her out of the shop. on the way out, lavana notices a cat taking a nap in the exposed gears of a ship that's being worked on, and yoinks him out just before those gears start turning, saving his life. satisfied that this was the potential disaster she was being warned about, lavana leaves and lets the stray cat go on his way

surprise! this cat is actually an important figure in magical cat society. his name is cronus (the black cat standing on her leg), and he's the Royal Cat Archbishop, and he returns the next day to offer his thanks in the form of magic powers. now lavana can talk to cats and do a variety of little party tricks—she's a warlock now with a homebrew patron: cats. she's a nekomancer! lavana also gets to meet and befriend cronus's attendants, the other seven cats shown in the art

so a little while goes by with lavana living her life telling fortunes for a living just featuring some cats now, until cronus requests a favor of lavana that requires her to travel. only, she doesn't have an airship. around the same time, she tells a fortune for valryn, who's stopping by with his crew (he's like...the fuckin janitor and no one likes or respects him that much; he's an overeager oblivious idiot). she predicts a grand adventure in his future, and he latches onto this with such excitement; convinced herself by the cards, lavana convinces him to let her join him. great! they're friends now! but now they need a ship. what ends up happening is, with the help of one of the cats—rhea (the white cat just behind her arm)—lavana wins a ship in a game of cards with a shitty rich kid. the thing about golonzo is that it's looked over by a primal beast/minor deity, mithra, who magically ensures that all promises made on the island are kept to the letter, so when this idiot bets the ship, he can't back out. that ship is lavana's now! and so the Terranavis, manned by lavana, valryn, and eight cats with cronus as the ship's captain, sets out. along the way they acquire phanuel and aya, a minor primal beast searching the skies for his lost boyfriend, and his best friend and number one hype woman

lavana is The Mom Friend but like—the thing you need to understand is that, except for the cat who is the captain (who only lavana can talk to and understand) (and also norle, the npc quartermaster we picked up along the way), everyone on this ship is an idiot. lavana included. lavana has 8 wisdom. she is the mom friend by sheer force of anxiety. she's the only person with any self-preservation instinct and also everyone-else-preservation-instinct. she is so afraid of anything happening to anyone all the time. she also does genuinely have a fair amount of emotional intelligence! she's just also incredibly oblivious. as a rule, lavana believes in the best of people, and assumes that people have good intentions and are honest until proven otherwise

lavana is also super emotional, just in general. it does not take a lot to get her panicky or crying, especially the latter, which she has been doing a lot these past few sessions!!! but despite the fact that her general disposition is very soft and quiet and friendly and nervous, she's actually got a really strong moral core and a ferocity deep within her. she's only really shown it twice: once when a group of skyfarers that indirectly tried to kill her friends tried to get in on the treasure that her friends found, and once when an angry mob formed during a zombie apocalypse tried to sacrifice a small child to the zombies thinking it'd stop them?? and lavana just went off. got so angry and fierce and just verbally eviscerated these guys until they felt so ashamed of themselves they dispersed. she's good with words! good with people! it just takes a lot for her to reach a breaking point that she can push through her own fears and anxiety

one of the things that hurts her most is people disbelieving in her fortunetelling, because it means so much to her—her sister's doubt especially has hurt her, because even though it isn't a conversation that happens often, like, she knows. getting comments offhandedly from tourists or whatever isn't a big deal on its own but it adds up! and when people she cares about talk shit, even idly, she's really hurt by it. fortunately (heh) no one on the ship has brought anything like that up, and valryn believes in her completely; he's her ultimate hype man, he thinks she's so smart and strong and incapable of being wrong, it's so cute?? so recently when an actual prophet character (lmao) said something real rude about her cards and told everyone some very frightening prophecies, valryn was immediately like "okay well lavana's fortunes are always correct so i'm not worried about that" and so lavana was like, comforted enough that she didn't take the rude shit so personally (also they had bigger things to deal with at the time). they're besties!! i love them!!!!

in general lavana just like...she wants so badly to be helpful and she'll always work hard to do so. she's very brave but she'd never consider herself such because she's always scared, but when the chips are down she's one of the first to push through it and get shit done and take care of people

this campaign has been REALLY INTENSE lately so i've been very Head Empty Thoughts Lavana Only Hours... i love her so much; she was a character i was really uncertain of when i first created her, but i've learned a lot about her along the way and i'm really excited to see where she goes from here!!!

[uas-fics]

-Title: Flower Crowns

Rating: G

Summary: Half lost on his walk, Leon finds a frustrated Piers attempting to weave flowers together.

Ships: Leon x Piers

Content Warnings: N/A

----

What a wonderful day for a walk. The sun shone over the yellow-green of the land. Not a single cloud floated across the blue sky. Flowers swayed in a gentle breeze. Rookidie chattered in the trees as bug pokemon skittered along the ground.

Simply a wonderful day outside of...Well, Leon didn't know exactly where he was, but he was at least sixty percent sure he was outside of Hulsbury. Or maybe Tuffield? He was on one side of the Northern Wild Areas.

Probably.

He stretched his arms up. His jacket sleeves rolled down to his elbows. The worn blue jacket had been his grandfather's and was still a little too big for him, even now that he was an adult, but it was comfortable and warm enough for spring days. He kept it with him when he wanted to go incognito since it wasn’t as distinguishable as his sponsor cape.

He could use more days off like this, more calming walks in nature with nothing but the plants, wild pokemon, and--

"Oh, c'mon!"

Leon jumped, nearly knocking his hat from his head.

Who was that?

He titled his head, listening. Someone swore up a storm not too far away. Half in an attempt to help, and half to seek confirmation of his location, Leon followed the colorful language over a small hill to its source.

Amongst a field of wildflowers and tall grass, someone kicked at the dirt. Grass, flowers, and dirt sprayed into the air.

"And you’re no help, you piece of--!" They spun around, throwing something.

Leon ducked just in time to avoid coming face to screen with a cellphone. The phone landed with a dull thud in the grass behind his feet.

Regret welled up in Leon's stomach. Maybe he should have just called the Pokemon League and asked them for help getting home. This person seemed too upset, and Leon interrupting their rage would just make them angrier, won't it?

"Champion Leon?"

Leon jumped at the sound of his name. Taking his gaze off the phone on the ground, he looked towards the phone's owner.

The gym leader of Spikemuth winced.

"Sorry 'bout that, mate." Piers raised his hands, palms facing forward as if he expected Leon to throw something back at him.

Leon shook his head, both to shake off his shock as well as to placate Piers. He picked up the phone.

"It's nothing to worry about," He reassured, wiping the screen on his jacket sleeve. On the screen, some sort of brightly colored webpage stared back at Leon. In a curling font, the header read 'Just A Unovan Country Gal' with 'recipes, DIYs, and patterns for good old girls' written underneath.

Deciding not to ask about the site, he pressed the power button as he passed the phone back, darkening the screen. Piers put the phone in his pocket. He hadn’t noticed Leon staring at the screen or didn’t acknowledge he knew Leon saw it, at least.

"You're lost, aren’t you?" Piers didn't hesitate to ask.

"What? Of course not. I know where I am," Leon lied, unsure why he did. Everyone in the Pokemon League knew he was terrible with directions. Every gym leader had to come to find and escort him to their gym at some point or another, including Piers.

"If you need help gettin' home, I can take you,'' Piers offered. "I'm done with...I'm done for today."

"Done with what?" Leon couldn't help but venture. The Unovain website flashed in his mind’s eye.

He couldn't figure why Piers of all people would be in a wildflower field in the middle of the day so far from Spikemuth. Was he picking flowers for a special someone? Searching for a certain pokemon? Training his team? Did it have to do with the website he had open on his phone?

Piers wrinkled his nose. "None of your business."

It was Leon's turn to hold up his hands. "Sorry." He took a few steps past Piers. "Didn't mean to pry. I'll leave you to it if you can point me toward Hulsbury."

Piers eyed him up and down, slowly, calculatingly. A shiver ran up Leon's back. Why did his stomach twist into knots? It wasn't like Piers planned on stabbing him.

With a heavy sigh, Piers pinched Leon's jacket between his fingers, stopping him from wandering off.

"Flower crown," he muttered, refusing to look at him.

"What?"

"Flower. Crown. I was trying to make a flower crown." Piers took his hand away to run it through his thick bangs, pushing them back away from his face. A tinge of pink blush dusted his face.

Leon bit the inside of his cheek to keep a laugh in. Flower crowns? Piers was the least likely person to be making flower crowns. Leon tried to imagine the dark-type gym leader with a ring of wild daisies and dandelions around his head but only succeeded in a snort of amusement at the idea.

Piers glowered and raised his hand. All of his nails had a sheen of shiny black paint, except for the middle one lifted at Leon, which was a matte white.

"If I left you out here, you would die of exposure before you found your way back."

Leon covered his mouth before another snort could make its way out.

"Sorry, sorry, but..." He took a breath, "why do you need a flower crown? It doesn't much match your..." he gestured to Piers’ punk, monochromatic outfit, “aesthetic.”

"It isn't for me," Piers snapped. "It's for Marnie, my sister. She wants one, not me."

Leon wasn't sure he'd ever actually met Piers' sister. He rarely went to Spikemuth, and when he did, he just stopped by the gym to deliver papers to Piers and get out. Had he ever even seen Piers’ sister before? She was about Hop's age, he knew that, but he couldn't remember if she was a little older or a little younger.

"Oh, of course. That makes sense," Leon said. "That's nice of you to make her one."

Piers searched his face for any sign of insincerity. Leon flashed him his champion smile. Whether that helped or not, he didn’t know.

Piers snorted. More to himself than Leon, he muttered, "It'd be nicer if I knew how to make one. Stupid website wasn’t any help..."

At this, Leon finally took a gander around. Most of the flowers had been plucked in the immediate area. They either sat in a pile or as parts of what Leon could only assume were attempts at flower crowns.

He knelt and picked a crown up, holding it carefully. Yellow daisies made up the crown. Each daisy had a slit cut in the stem with the next daisy slipped through until the end where the last stem was tied to the first. It was crude and the spacing of the flowers uneven, but not the worst flower crown Leon had ever seen.

Before Leon could look closer, Piers snatched the crown out of his hands. Pale yellow petals fell to the ground.

He glared, the tips of his ears burning red. “Making flower crowns isn’t a life skill they teach you in school, you know.”

Leon tilted his head to the side then asked, "Do you want help?"

"Help?" Piers tossed the crown into the tall grass. "You know how to make them?"

Leon nodded. "I grew up in Postwick." He fell back to his bottom. "Everyone knew how to make a proper crown." His lips twitched up into a smile. "I remember chasing down a wooloo to stop it from eating the crown I'd just given it."

He took a few daisies from the pile next to him. It took mere seconds for his fingers to remember the motion of wrapping stem over stem.

"Silly thing was someone's prized wooloo, and the farmer spoiled it rotten," Leon continued, occasionally looking down at his hands, "so when it saw me coming towards it with a handful of flowers, it thought it was getting a treat."

He laughed at the memory. He couldn’t have been more than seven or eight at the time. His mother still brought it up when she wanted to embarrass him in front of guests.

“I remember looking out the window and seeing my little boy, nearly in tears, shouting at a fat old wooloo.” She’d laugh. “Oh, he chased that thing for an hour trying to catch it!”

As Leon continued rambling, Piers watched his hands weave together daisies, dandelions, and corncockle. He sat back with his hands resting across his knees. He puffed his cheeks a little as he watched, breathing only through his nose. Whether he noticed he was doing it or not, Leon wasn't sure and didn't ask.

"And that's how I broke my arm for the first time," Leon finished, holding up the crown. He placed it on Piers' head where it sat unevenly on top of his ponytails. Leon beamed at Piers, proud of his work as if they were children playing in the fields of Postwick and not young adults.

Piers brushed his fingertips against the soft petals. He took a dandelion and a wild clover flower from one of the piles. With his face set in determination, he started to copy what he'd seen Leon doing. He wove together six flowers before tossing his hands in the air.

"What am I doing wrong?" He demanded.

Leon scooted until he sat next to Piers then took the crown to examine it. He nodded to himself. Without asking, Leon took Piers' hands in his own.

"You're doing it backward. See here?" Leon made Piers' thumb press against the first wrap in the crown. Instead of locking around the flower, the stem went behind it. A simple mistake for a first-time crown weaver to make.

Piers pulled his hands back.

"I think I got it." He took a meadows cranesbill and corncockle and began the wrap and lock method Leon showed him. He held up his attempt for inspection.

"That's it. Just keep doing that until it's long enough."

"This is going to take a while," Piers said, adding a daisy to the chain.

Leon shrugged sympathetically. "It might," he settled into a more comfortable, half-reclined position, "but it'll be fine. I'm here to help."

Piers paused and looked over at Leon, eyeing him once again. This time, however, Leon didn't feel a chill run up his back. Instead, heat crept up his cheeks at Piers' half smile towards.

Leon's pride wanted him to hold Piers' gaze as he would with any other gym leader, but he broke away to look at a patch of foxgloves in the distance.

"Thanks." Piers turned back to his project.

They sat in comfortable silence for a while before Piers held out a flower. Its stem was too short.

"D’you know what this is?" He asked, dropping the flower in Leon's lap.

Leon picked it up and spun it in between his fingers. Of course, he knew what it was, but he shrugged and pretended to think it over.

"Primrose, I think." He said. "My grandma kept some fancier varieties in the house when I was growing up."

The memory of cleaning up broken pots formed a smile on his face. Sonia and he landed themselves on his grandmother’s naughty list for killing her primroses, even if it was an accident.

Piers hummed. "I thought that's what it was. And this?"

Leon moved next to Piers. "That's a ragged robin. This is a cornflower. That's chicory." He continued pointing out the names of the flowers he knew, silently thanking his mother and grandparents for explaining all the wildflowers to him when he was a kid.

Of course, he didn't know them as well as Milo. He couldn't tell what medical uses dandelions had or how to make coffee from chicory, but Piers seemed impressed nonetheless with his botanical knowledge.

Leon picked up a flower from a failed crown attempt. He held it up, about to explain what it was, but Piers spoke first.

“That’s a wild violet.”

Leon slowly nodded. He was a little disappointed he didn’t get to explain it but shoved the feeling away. Of course, Piers would know such a common flower.

Piers smiled down at his work. “Marnie made me fill a whole basket with them once. She learnt you can cook with them.”

“Did you--cook with it, I mean?”

“Unfortunately.” Piers snorted. “I’ve had pot brownies that taste less like grass.” He paused, then added nonchalantly, “Before I was part of the league, of course.”

, Leon snorted a laugh to himself. That was a lie, he knew, but instead of remarking on it, he said, “Did you use the flowers or leaves?”

“Marnie baked them, not me. I just turned on the oven. I think she just put the whole plant in there, roots and all.” He laughed. “I’m going to have to tease her about that when I get home. Thanks for reminding me about that.”

Finally, Piers held up his crown. It was far from perfect, some of the flowers lost their petals and long stems stuck out at odd angles, but Piers held it out as if it were a royal crown. His expression wasn’t unlike how Leon’s mum said he looked when he finished making a crown for the spoiled wooloo.

"Wow, it looks great," Leon complimented.

Piers snorted with a smile. "For a first attempt, I guess." He looked at his flower crown, then at Leon, then back, before reaching up. He took hold of the bill of Leon's baseball cap. With a flick of the wrist, he tossed it off then replaced it with the crown.

He smiled at him. “You look like a prince, champ.” He teased before bending down and picking up the hat.

“I could say the same.”

The two shared a laugh and grins. Their fingers touched as Piers pushed the hat into Leon's hands. Leon wasn’t sure the touch was unintentional.

"It's getting late."

Leon looked up at the saturated orange-red sky.

"If you get me to Hulsbury, I can get a taxi home."

Piers chuckled and shook his head. "You really are lost, aren’t you? We're not too far outside the Spikemuth Tunnel, mate."

Leon dropped his hat. He held his head in his hands. The heat of embarrassment crept up his face. He had wandered farther off the beaten path than he thought. How did he even get so far away from where he started like this?

With a sympathetic smile, Piers put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed.

"How about I take you back to my place, as a thank you for teaching me this." He gestured to the crown on his head. "I'll cook you up a little somethin' then you can hitch a ride on a flying taxi back home."

Leon's heart skipped a beat. He swallowed the embarrassment down and smiled.

"That sounds great."

----

AN: I stopped writing this halfway through to go outside, find some flowers, and learn how to do this because the way I described Piers doing it is how I've always done it. XP It is a completely valid way to make flower chains don't get me wrong, but it doesn't look nearly as fancy.

Anyway, maybe a little too sugary sweet, but I wanted to write some short fluff and doggone it I did!

Check out @uas-art for more of my drawings.

[planetary-plantpunk]

Listen. How unprofessional would it *really* be to cut to the chase on this application to be a personal assistant and say "Need to hide a body? I'm your gal!" Like ma'am if you're providing a steady paycheck and a healthy working environment at this point I will literally bake you cookies every morning and gently waft the scent into your bedroom to wake you up. Pls. Job plz.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: you done 🐕🏃? Janis: yeah, just about Janis: what you up to? Jimmy: how long for? Jimmy: ages? Janis: I'm walking my last lot now so Janis: where's the 🔥 dickhead Jimmy: at the 🏖 Jimmy: you wanna come or what? Janis: oh, alright for some Janis: finally put your 😎 to some real use Jimmy: will do in a bit Jimmy: if we EVER leave 🏠 Jimmy: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: can't find your best 👙? Janis: 💔 Jimmy: I'm waiting for you, obvs Jimmy: get a move on ☀️ girl Janis: alright, why not Jimmy: not gonna 🏃 my own 🐕 am I? Jimmy: earn your 💰 Jessica Janis: 🖕 Janis: she might be my fave customer but you're my least fave owner so Janis: drags her well ⬇ Jimmy: 😏 Janis: poor pup Jimmy: she won't be 💔 now you're going Janis: goes without saying Janis: have to deal with how #gutted you are Jimmy: sit next to my 🤬 sister then, can't I? Jimmy: 🥇 company Janis: what's making her 🤬 today Janis: besides you Jimmy: needs nowt else Jimmy: I'd be 😒 if I didn't have a top mate to bring Janis: fair Janis: been on enough outings with my siblings shit mates in tow Janis: least you can tell her I won't be all over you or anything this time Jimmy: did do, only reason she agreed, DUH Jimmy: nowt to do with how bored she is Janis: welcome to the real 🌍 init Jimmy: You'd reckon I invited Ian and Sharon how she's going on Jimmy: try and do a 🏆 big brother of the year thing Jimmy: just chuck myself in front of the train instead Janis: top starving artist thing though Janis: can't be appreciated in your own lifetime Jimmy: be about right, that Jimmy: and I get that I'm not really making this #goals so if you don't wanna it's alright Jimmy: as sales pitches go Janis: we're all bored, like Janis: but yeah, get your dad to give you some pointers when he's having his #mantoman Jimmy: bit late, I've had that Janis: oh, yeah? Jimmy: any chance to be a bellend, he don't hang about Jimmy: got in there soon as you pissed off Janis: wow, showing Shaz a well good time then Janis: 🙄 Janis: look forward to when she tells me all about that #justbetweenusgirls Jimmy: she weren't there long after you, mission accomplished ✔ Jimmy: you might be going dress shopping with the next one, soz like Janis: 👍 Janis: as long as she's a bleach blonde, not fussy Jimmy: neither's he, you're alright Janis: #fated? Jimmy: gonna get the bleach out, are you? Jimmy: don't reckon the ☀'ll do enough for you Janis: rude, just 'cos I'm getting a new best mate Janis: don't be jealous Jimmy: just looking forward to you having a tan that ain't out of a bottle tbh Janis: not that twin Janis: your 💌 got lost Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 Janis: emojis is her preferred method of communication Jimmy: I'll leave her a youtube comment, make yourself scarce, tah Janis: I'm going 🏖 Janis: fill your boots Jimmy: bit of a weird coincidence, that Janis: yeah, if you invite her, I'll be 🤬 as well Jimmy: What would I invite her for? Jimmy: don't need a babysitter Janis: hmm Jimmy: alright, dickhead Jimmy: do you wanna be uninvited? Janis: don't be a 👶 and prove my point, boy Janis: I'll 🤐 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: lasses mature faster, that ain't my fault, only an actual proven point Janis: we'll leave out you ain't hit puberty if it's all the same to you Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: oh THAT'S why my skin's so clear Jimmy: no need to drop my #nighttimeroutine now Janis: such a twat Jimmy: yeah and? Janis: 🤐 yourself Jimmy: but I LOVE a bit of feedback, me Jimmy: ask Bill's 👻 Janis: you NEVER take his notes, liar Jimmy: bollocks do I not Jimmy: always 👂 to him Janis: why you so crap at fake dating then? 🤔 Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I'm 🥇 Janis: 👌 Jimmy: you'd said it before now Jimmy: if any dickhead's lying, it's you Janis: I said it 'cos I'm 🥇 Janis: 😉 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: don't be grumpy Janis: if you were shit, we wouldn't still be doing it Jimmy: you started it Jimmy: marding at me 'cause my balls ain't dropped Janis: stop it Janis: lesbian would be a preferable rep Jimmy: til you've got 💀👑 after you Janis: you want me to say it's better than 12 year olds? Janis: 'cos obviously but fuck off Jimmy: 😏 Janis: 😒 Jimmy: you wanna leave it out now? Janis: oh, I get it Jimmy: ? Janis: trying your #daddy bit again Jimmy: you wish, girl Janis: *👶girl Jimmy: 🤢 Janis: how rude Jimmy: I'm not fake calling you that, don't care if it's bad manners Janis: 🤷 Janis: if you don't wanna make 💀👑 💚🤢 Jimmy: I can do without that bollocks Janis: go 🥇 or go home Janis: could do without all of it really Jimmy: I am 🏠 hurry up, like Janis: I'm on my way, keep your 😎 on Jimmy: keep your 🧢 on, Joanne Jimmy: oh no hang on, you're fucked it's ⛅ Janis: nah, you're alright Janis: straightened it Jimmy: sounds fake Jimmy: if you're gonna bother lying 🥉 at least Janis: words have an impact Janis: think before you bully Jimmy: 📷 do an' all Jimmy: show us Janis: keen Jimmy: to show you up as talking bollocks Jimmy: always Janis: for me to show up Janis: definitely Jimmy: that'd do an' all Janis: sweet Janis: one more drop off Jimmy: the 🍬🍬 are for the journey but alright you can have one before if you don't say owt to the others Janis: you know me Janis: 🤐 always Jimmy: which 🐕 is it? Janis: not your rival Janis: the fat pug thing Jimmy: were gonna say bring it instead of ours but nah Janis: poor thing breathes worse than you 🚬 Jimmy: every lass would be shitting themselves that there's a perv on the train Janis: another one, anyway Jimmy: Oi, it's just my ☠ lungs Jimmy: stop making me breathless and we'll be alright Janis: unless you truly have invited the gals on a road trip, you won't have to fake that Jimmy: 🥇💡 Jimmy: too late or? Janis: you joking? they need 3-5 business days to get ready for school and we have a fucking uniform Jimmy: 🤡 me Jimmy: you know that Janis: yeah Janis: we could do something like that though, might be useful Jimmy: should probably ask 'em what they're doing a bit an' all Janis: you can do that Jimmy: tah very much Janis: you're better at it Jimmy: dunno if that's a compliment or an insult but alright Janis: take it as a compliment so you take on all the work Janis: I just Janis: I hate them more than you do Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I know Janis: take the 🥇 and 😇 Jimmy: not til I say we don't have to go to whatever bollocks party they're 🗨 about at a guess Jimmy: it's alright Jimmy: I can fake something here 🏠 whenever Jimmy: and you're still 🥇 Janis: I can handle it Jimmy: obvs Jimmy: but we're trying to make shit easier, that's the whole plan, and all I'm saying Janis: and trying to fuck their shit up, all I'm saying Jimmy: okay Janis: if I didn't wanna do it no more, I'd tell you Jimmy: Good Janis: yeah Jimmy: I'll leave it out now Janis: it's whatever Janis: I'm on my way to yours now, sorry took so long Jimmy: 👍 Janis: more meant to the kids than you tbh Jimmy: I'll tell 'em how 💔 you are that they got to watch telly for a bit longer then Janis: well, nothing worse than hanging about whilst the adults piss about doing fuck knows Jimmy: I've been doing fuck loads, first off Jimmy: second of all, Cass is outvoted on wanting you to piss off in the other direction so Janis: I bet Janis: having a ☕ putting the 🧺 out taking some well important well long 📞s Jimmy: 45 not 85 tah very much Jimmy: you'll have me 🌱 next Janis: selfish of you not to 🌧 Jimmy: don't reckon 👦 and 🐕 who are both ✔🏖 would see it like that Jimmy: probably call it a dickhead move 💔🎻 Janis: that's a self-explanatory sign, I remember Jimmy: when you get here he wants to 🗨 about sandcastles Jimmy: you* Jimmy: I'll just say you're 🏆🥇👑 nowt to worry about Janis: well I actually am so don't you be chatting shit about me Janis: I'll know Jimmy: 🙈 🙉 🙊 Janis: he's my little mate Janis: dob you well in Jimmy: he would Janis: bless Janis: better be nice to me then Jimmy: I said about 🍬🍬 what else do you want? Janis: it's a start Janis: can see as we go Jimmy: still high maintenance as a mate then Janis: you want one who'll be friends with any dickhead, do you Jimmy: can't even fake that being a yeah to wind you up Janis: feel 🍀 Jimmy: you should Janis: HA Jimmy: steady on, you'll hurt yourself Janis: I'm outside whenever you're ready Jimmy: [comes out and over to her to touch the curls like oh hey you're still there then] Janis: [😏 and bats his hand away like obviously I did not] Jimmy: [Twix running out like HEY GAL v excited] Janis: [give her some love 'we going on the bus or train or what?'] Jimmy: [just shouting your sister like if they don't hurry up we're not going anywhere vibes because doing his head in already lol] Janis: [just doing the 😬 face] Jimmy: [makes you 😏 in spite of everything] Janis: [gestures to her mouth like, you did promise me sweets though] Jimmy: [obvs chucks them at her] Janis: [taking two and putting her finger to her lips] Jimmy: [the kids appearing as soon as she's eaten them so the secret is safe] Janis: [chat to Bobby about these sandcastles] Jimmy: [he wants to know if you've got skills gal] Janis: [just like 'course I do, let's make a better one than him lol] Jimmy: [competition is definitely happening, we must] Janis: [fosho] Jimmy: [I wonder how long this train ride is, I hope it's not awkwardly long lol] Janis: [there's beaches near enough it shouldn't be crazy] Jimmy: [at least you've got the dog and kids to distract you lads] Janis: [just being so sociable rn] Jimmy: [we know it's because there's a vibe between you too but I'm still here for this family unite so go ahead and #bond babe] Janis: [you'd try anyway 'cos not a prick but this is helping can't lie so pop off] Jimmy: [always nice to see another side of him too so I'm about it, we should probably let Bobby win this sandcastle contest soz Cass] Janis: [you can slay all the arcade games don't be too fuming] Jimmy: [don't kick his sandcastle down he will be devvo] Janis: [ahh the drama, so arcades, ice cream, candyfloss, the little rides they have at the beach, sandcastles, chips, anything else?] Jimmy: [getting chased by seagulls and Twix chasing them, having to get her when she legs it into the sea and it being freezing lol] Janis: [should be near the end so they then have to wait to dry off, anyway, all of this has the potential to be awks, like anything they inadvertently end up doing as a pair] Jimmy: [when you're so in love and in a rom com that you can't stop having romantic moments] Janis: [not like you can just ignore each other the whole day, would be weird] Jimmy: [soz again Cass you still gonna be 🙄 even though they're not smooching] Janis: [ugh, so cringe] Jimmy: [Jimothy 100000% has to get her a shit thing from the arcade with his tokens because she gave him that bed screw after school trip so it's his turn for a memento] Janis: [a must] Jimmy: [you two are cute nerds] Janis: [when you've not had close friends or a boyfriend so all of this is so confusing like is this how it's meant to be or what] Jimmy: [and she doesn't even have anyone she can talk to about it, soz for doing this to you babe] Janis: [can't really put the feelers out like hey] Jimmy: [especially not with him because he'd be like obvs this is fine, because you're not gonna be like no actually I'm in love with you so] Janis: [we're not doing that again] Jimmy: [at least you'll have an excuse to snuggle after being in the freezing sea] Janis: [true] Jimmy: [Twix shaking all over Bobby who is the only one who didn't get in the sea like thanks for that babe we're all wet and cold now] Janis: [oh Twix] Jimmy: [she's living her best life, oblivious to all this JJ drama] Janis: [I like to think there's a stop that's a few before theirs that is closer to the farm so just hopping off there like you ever go home] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: yeah, it was fun, cheers Jimmy: didn't make me wanna 💀💀💀 Jimmy: must've been Janis: practically a 5🌟 review Jimmy: I won't tweet it out but Jimmy: you can have a 🏆 for it Janis: you already gave it to me Jimmy: have another one then Jimmy: for the road or whatever Janis: do you have enough 🎫s Jimmy: they're all asleep, I can be nice to you now Janis: yeah? Janis: you've been pretty nice Jimmy: [a picture of them all snoozing on this train like see] Jimmy: you don't reckon I can be any nicer? bit rude Janis: Bless Janis: 🤞 they bring that chill home but won't hold my breath for you Janis: I'm sure you can Janis: whether you will is a different question Jimmy: don't matter, I can chuck 'em at Ian in a bit Jimmy: Oi, why wouldn't I? Janis: you're pretty busy Jimmy: what kind of fake boyfriend or real mate? Janis: 🥇brother Jimmy: I ain't got a mug, can't be Janis: should've looked Janis: must've been one with all the kiss me quick shit Jimmy: I'll get our kid set up 🎨 keep him busy crafting so I'm not too busy for you Janis: can use all the 🐚s he got Jimmy: don't fancy drinking a brew out of a 🐚 but I'll have him crack on with one for you 🧜 Janis: you should ™ it now, we're only a trend or two away Jimmy: might be a way to get 💀👑 and her mates on side, tah Janis: they'll be all about the salt water, DUH Jimmy: 🥇💡 Janis: think even your sister had a good time though Janis: between the 😒🙄 Jimmy: she's probably moved from 🤬 to 😠 scale wise Janis: take it as a win Jimmy: you can do Janis: 🏆 you said Jimmy: don't worry I'm not taking it back Jimmy: you earned it Janis: you can try Janis: already on my shelf with all my others Janis: not find it now Jimmy: too 💪 for me to have a go an' all, you Janis: 🤔 Janis: now you're being too nice and it's weird Jimmy: Hang on, I'll wake my sister and slag you off for a bit Janis: 👍 Janis: can give me the notes when you're done Jimmy: you know I can't write Jimmy: no need for you to be mean Janis: voice notes exist Jimmy: you can just say you miss me, mate Jimmy: it's alright Janis: how could I Janis: literally just left Jimmy: your accent kink were unlocked ages ago Janis: if I had one, I'd have better taste 😏 Jimmy: the whole north is 💔😭🎻 girl Jimmy: 🤞 you're proud of yourself Janis: you show me your fit long lost cousins, I'll take it back Jimmy: if I find 'em I'll be too busy arranging a lift home to chuck 'em at you Janis: rude but fair Jimmy: crack on after if you fancy Janis: don't really need your permission Jimmy: you put your sister off limits, I can do the same Janis: immediate family only Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: that only gives me Ian Janis: and he's well 😍 Janis: appreciate my struggle Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you've got some fit sisters AND a gay brother Janis: you piss off Janis: no I don't Jimmy: none of 'em? 💔 Jimmy: your fit mum'll have to do then Janis: shut up Jimmy: @ her I'll be over for my tea in a bit and I don't eat nowt like 🥦🌽🥕 Janis: you're the least funny person I've ever met Jimmy: 🤡💔😭 Janis: 🖕🔥💀 Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: alright, ALL my attention's back on you Janis: why would I want that Jimmy: you don't have to want it to get it, Jill Janis: 🙄 you telling me things I know now Jimmy: head that big we'd never 🗨 if I didn't Janis: and what a tragedy that would be 👻🖋 Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: I'll go to sleep an' all then 🤞 we'll miss our stop and end up somewhere more #goals Jimmy: 👋🏠 Janis: unlikely Janis: don't go 🌙 Jimmy: worth a 🎯 Janis: that was what I reckoned but weren't buzzing for me so Jimmy: make Ian 😤 when he has to come fetch us if nowt else Janis: worth it Jimmy: 👍 night Janis: whatever idiot Jimmy: parting IS such sweet sorrow with you 💕 Jimmy: so lovely to me Janis: you want gutted I can offer a tweet or an insta post Jimmy: stick with 🖕🔥💀 it's more real Janis: that it is, mate Jimmy: no need to take over telling me shit I know Janis: 👍 Janis: sweet dreams then Jimmy: tah Janis: hmu when you wanna do something fake Jimmy: lasses first Jimmy: loads of options in the group 🗨 Janis: well I got some 📸 today I can make look goals Jimmy: #same Jimmy: can fake you're here as long as 💀👑 ain't at yours when you get back Jimmy: might make it a bit harder if she 👀 you Janis: unless she's that 😍 she sees me everywhere Jimmy: 🤢🤢 Jimmy: be about right, that Janis: don't chat like I'm not a top mirage Jimmy: weren't me saying nowt Janis: hmm Jimmy: I rate you, I've said Jimmy: don't rate her 😍💕🔪 with you Janis: Bill probably does Jimmy: @ him for his review Janis: might be the storyline he goes with Janis: if one of us pretends to be a lad for a bit or whatever Jimmy: does LOVE a bit of that but you'd still end up with a lad by the end though Jimmy: if you're not 💀💀💀 Janis: obviously 💀💀💀 Jimmy: go on and make me feel less special, dickhead Janis: never promised you're the only one that dies Jimmy: you can't be my Juliet and some other lass Jimmy: for or with 💀👑 Janis: stick to the script, yeah Jimmy: 🖋🩸 not ✏️ Janis: where's your chainmail look then Jimmy: Oi, least shout me a drink first Janis: I'm with the astronaut not fannying about getting you drinks Jimmy: bit rude Janis: talk about rude Janis: you're gatecrashing Jimmy: I'll piss off then Jimmy: know where I ain't 💕 Janis: have you not seen the 1996 classic or what Janis: main plot point there Jimmy: Leo's dead distracting, who can follow owt going on with the plot Janis: it's my parent's party, you, your cousin and your mates gatecrash 'cos you're off your tits Janis: astronaut is my fiance and you're well in love with this other girl, 'til we 👀 through a massive fish tank Jimmy: Oh Bill, he don't know you're the pisshead, well awkward Jimmy: I remember that bit 🐠 🐟 Jimmy: must be the fish kink you said I had Janis: see Janis: 💫 Jimmy: Who's the dickhead you're marrying? Janis: Paul Rudd Janis: well in, tbh Jimmy: does the lass I dump for you even get a face? Janis: nah Janis: you're that dickhead Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: be like my ex who you've only got my word for existing Janis: she is my cousin and all, why you're at the party Janis: which is a bit rude to bin her off there and then but Janis: 🐠 🐟 kink Jimmy: I told you it shouldn't only be immediate family off limits, Jules Jimmy: you weren't having none of it Janis: don't matter Janis: you don't even speak to her before reckoning you're well 😍 Jimmy: finally sounds like me Jimmy: nice one Bill Janis: 'course Janis: he is well mopey Jimmy: DUH, not just him 'cause I'm the lad Jimmy: if the 😭 fits Janis: try out for Hamlet next, boy Jimmy: don't reckon that's the school play on offer Jimmy: but I'll have a word Janis: please do Janis: Shane who's had every lead since we were 👶 would piss himself Jimmy: only if you're at the front to 👏 and chuck 🌹 at us Jimmy: very shy, me Janis: like fuck are you Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: you're practically an exhibitionist Jimmy: Dunno what you've 👂 or 👀 Jimmy: but that sounds well fake Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 👌👌 Jimmy: 🙄🙄 Janis: not like I've ended up nearly naked at a party 'cos of you or nothing Jimmy: that weren't deliberate Janis: nah? Jimmy: it means nowt but I'm heavy handed and that dress weren't worth the 💰 Janis: nicked it anyway Jimmy: there you go then Jimmy: and you never flashed nobody 'cause I gave you my jacket Jimmy: what kind of exhibitionist would do that? Janis: joke 🤡 Jimmy: Oi don't be calling me a joke Janis: would be a compliment, if I were Jimmy: how would it? Janis: clowns are meant to be funny Jimmy: funny weren't what you said Janis: what's a joke if not funny Jimmy: you're taking the piss, not giving me a compliment Jimmy: might be thick but I can work out the difference Janis: so you know I was saying I was joking and you're being picky about nothing right now Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: 👍 Janis: you're the one being a dick but alright Jimmy: nah you're the one winding me up about something I already feel 😳 about Janis: why Janis: not like I actually care or cared Jimmy: shut up about it then Janis: fine, jesus christ Jimmy: 👍 Janis: don't be about it alright Jimmy: what? Janis: 😳 Janis: no need Jimmy: you said you were gonna stop going on about it Janis: I'm just saying Jimmy: no need Janis: okay Jimmy: 👌 Janis: they're not here by the way Janis: so pretend I'm there Jimmy: Alright Janis: cool Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: not going nowhere far so it don't count as covering Jimmy: weren't asking Jimmy: it's a piss easy job when it don't drag on Janis: ? Jimmy: faking that we're 🏠💕 Janis: alright, thrilled for you then Jimmy: save the enthusiasm for when we've got 👀🍿 Janis: I get it Jimmy: nowt to get, I don't need 👏🏆🌹 for this Janis: you want me to piss off Jimmy: sounds like you've got somewhere to be Janis: so we can't 💬 Jimmy: do you want to? Jimmy: 'cause it didn't sound like it Janis: that was you Jimmy: you started it Janis: no I never Jimmy: yeah you did Jimmy: 1. jumping off the train without even a 😘 2. getting engaged to Paul Rudd 3. being a dickhead to me Janis: 1. I said bye 2. if you were paying attention you'd know we was already 👰🤵 before I could be forced to marry him 3. you're a bigger dickhead to me Jimmy: very convenient all that Janis: 🙄🙄 Jimmy: What are you doing other than 🙄 at me for nowt? Janis: going for a run Jimmy: so how do you reckon we're gonna 🗨? Jimmy: you gonna send me breathless voice memos or what? Janis: I don't get out of breath 'cos I'm not 🚬🍔🍻 Jimmy: *🥧🥔 first off Jimmy: second, not 🏃 hard or far enough then, are you? Janis: its called pacing Jimmy: next you're gonna try and lie to me that you don't sweat like that pervy prince Jimmy: it's called bollocks Janis: fine then, no one is about to force you Jimmy: What, to believe you? Weren't likely, my dear Janis: talk, prick Jimmy: I don't need to be forced, I only asked how you were gonna manage it whilst being SUCH an athlete Janis: talk to text, as if it matters Jimmy: was that so hard? Janis: why did you need tk know, just to be awkward Jimmy: it were an easy enough question Janis: fuck sake Jimmy: go on Jimmy: what have I done now? Jimmy: too nice a bit ago, too much of a dickhead after Janis: forget it Jimmy: Why, 'cause you don't wanna talk to me and you're just putting it on me like I don't or? Janis: if I didn't want to talk to you, I wouldn't be Jimmy: What then? Janis: it's just Janis: weird Jimmy: it's always been weird Jimmy: you're my fake girlfriend Janis: too weird maybe Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: that I duon't reckon this is gonna work Janis: don't* Jimmy: which bit? Janis: being mates Jimmy: So what, you just wanna treat this like another job? Janis: yeah, I guess Janis: be easier Janis: and that's the point Jimmy: except I'm not a 🐕 that needs a piss but alright Janis: I'm not saying you are Jimmy: you're just saying that's what you wanna treat me like Jimmy: job done Janis: no, we don't have to be cunts to each other Janis: but I don't do friends, where are the rest of mine, like Janis: can't hack it Jimmy: you could've said before you spent the day becoming mates with my little brother Janis: I was trying Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: I'll sign that to him then, tah Janis: I didn't think it'd be this hard Jimmy: 🎻 Janis: it's you, I can't be around you Jimmy: so call it off Jimmy: but you reckon you're alright to be around me at some bollocks or owt else where you need a fake boyfriend Jimmy: party* Janis: if you don't want to do it no more then fine Jimmy: it's you who can't hack me Jimmy: I had a lovely time Janis: you know why Jimmy: I said no to fucking you once, there's why Janis: yeah, I already feel like a piece of shit for it, you don't need to do that for me Jimmy: how do you think I feel? that's all you want me for Janis: I don't do friends it ain't tat you wouldn't be a decent one Janis: that* Jimmy: right and as long as I can fake being a decent boyfriend, what does it matter? Jimmy: tah for the heads up Janis: obviously we're not going to do that no more Janis: I didn't want to just Janis: I don't know Jimmy: obviously I don't get a fucking say Jimmy: why would I 'cause you don't care what I want Janis: Yes I do Janis: that's why I did this, 'cos otherwise I was just lying to you Jimmy: bit late to chime in with that bollocks when you've already pissed all over everything Jimmy: but alright Janis: what else can I do Jimmy: nowt clearly 'cause you tried really hard for a day Janis: you shouldn't have to try to be someone's mate, would you, that's the whole point Jimmy: you shouldn't have said you were up for it if you weren't Janis: nah Jimmy: 📞 that dickhead, bet he'll have another go at ending this for us Janis: don't, alright Jimmy: soz, you've probably 💭🥇💡 while I were pissing about on the 🏖 Jimmy: go on Janis: No, I haven't Janis: I had a good time too, it's not about that Jimmy: let me know when you have then Jimmy: so I know what I'm going along with Janis: it doesn't matter, I don't care Jimmy: you're not gonna pull your weight with this either Jimmy: tah very much Janis: literally the furthest thing from my mind right now Janis: so sorry Jimmy: yeah, you gave out the apologies a bit ago, no need to tack that one on Janis: so what, I'm meant to keep hanging out with you all the time, and pretend I don't want to kiss you, that's normal, is it? Jimmy: how about I gave you 3 days and you can't even give me one Janis: what? Jimmy: I told you why I only wanted to be mates, that I didn't wanna fuck this up, and you're just cracking on with that anyway Janis: and it's me that only wants a fake boyfriend? Jimmy: yeah, THAT'S what I meant by any of that Janis: how would I know? all I know is I can't fake be all over you one second then barely talk to you the next Jimmy: I weren't asking you for that, I never have done Janis: that's exactly what we do Jimmy: bollocks is it Jimmy: I talk to you Janis: would you rather I lie about it Jimmy: if it means I don't get left with fuck all, I might do Janis: I get fuck all too Jimmy: that don't make me feel better, funnily enough Janis: there ain't nothing I can do that will Jimmy: you could not do this Janis: if that were true, I wouldn't have Jimmy: there's nowt else to say then Janis: alright Jimmy: just go Janis: I have Jimmy: stop talking to me, dickhead Janis: [shall I post? or are we skipping to whatever is next?] Janis: [how should we start whatever is next, for that matter?] Jimmy: [I was thinking maybe he could be drunk and feelsy because we've done her already but I don't know how to just kick that off like] Janis: [I had a similar thought that regardless it needs to come from him 'cos she's put it out there low-key twice now and has got ultimately a no response each time so, could go the route of it being a party and thus like, come fake, even if it's a no obvs 'cos can carry on the convo or you could commit to just starting the convo from the off] Jimmy: [when I was in your archive looking for beach stuff which I rudely never found I did find a convo where it was like he'd been locked out because there's a shortage of keys in that house always and forever thanks Cass and she ultimately helped him break in so I'm wondering if I can do something with that hmmm] Jimmy: [it was a whole #mood is why I'm considering it lol] Janis: [I vibe with that] Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: where's your 🔑 Jimmy: ???????? Janis: on my dog-walking keys with the rest of them Janis: why? Jimmy: 🏃🏠✔ Janis: no, didn't get that Jimmy: UGH Jimmy: just run here Janis: I've not got them on me, not walking dogs at this o'clock Janis: you lost yours? Jimmy: bring me a jacket then Jimmy: it's freezing Janis: is everyone at yours asleep? Jimmy: except Ian but it were him who chucked me out Jimmy: bit rude but Janis: alright, I'll come but I'm a bit away so you'll have to keep warm Janis: why'd he throw you out then? Jimmy: how? you don't do mates and I don't do 🏃 Jimmy: that's not why he chucked me out, don't care about my fitness Janis: not even on the spot? Janis: what about that 🍾you been drinking? not enough left to do the trick or what Jimmy: 🥂 very civilised Jimmy: I get it, you've forgotten who I am Jimmy: and you want me to chase my tail Jimmy: 🐕💔 Janis: dinner party, was it? Jimmy: you need mates for that, girl Jimmy: should've done 🐕💕 you'd like me more if I were Janis: I like you just fine Janis: and who needs mates, just steal your other glass 🥂 Jimmy: I'd have let you have it Janis: you're very generous, I've always said that Jimmy: I remember Jimmy: love a compliment, me, I remember them all Janis: 🧠 flex Jimmy: and you can't even tweet it Jimmy: 🎻😭😭 Janis: that is a tragedy, truly Janis: could do it for old times sake but Jimmy: there's loads of other things I'd rather do for old times sake before that Janis: 😱 tweeting weren't your fave Jimmy: I don't have a 🖋 can't do you a list Janis: s'alright, won't keep you warm and that's priority Jimmy: you'll keep me warm Jimmy: you'll be well warm when you've 🏃 here Janis: I'll get you in your gaff, yeah Jimmy: I don't want to be there Janis: no? Jimmy: DUH I should've kicked the door in like we did to Lucas', I didn't wanna scare him but he can't hear it, can he? Jimmy: turn back around, it's alright Janis: I reckon your house doors are a bit sturdier, don't do that, alright Jimmy: Cass won't be 🤬 she loves kicking a door in Jimmy: unless she thinks it's my mum coming back Janis: and your dad will be regardless Janis: it's not a good idea Jimmy: be a 🥇 entrance if it were here though Jimmy: her* Janis: pretty impressive Janis: have to at this point, right? Jimmy: 🍾 be out then Janis: yeah Jimmy: what are you doing? Janis: coming to get you, obviously Jimmy: but before Janis: with all my mates? Janis: nothing, really, just Janis: about Jimmy: 🧛 business Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: 🦇🩸 Janis: exactly Janis: if I told you I'd have to eat you Jimmy: just don't be biting anyone else Jimmy: I don't care what you do to me Janis: I haven't Janis: that kind of night, I get that, too Jimmy: on any night, don't Janis: it's very unlikely Janis: even though it's a bit mean you want me to starve Jimmy: I said you can have me Janis: you'd get me pissed right now Jimmy: wouldn't even cost you nowt Jimmy: 🥇 date, me Janis: cheap, too 😏 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: no 🎫 needed either Janis: quite the offer Jimmy: weren't enough for my ex Jimmy: I @ed her but she don't wanna talk to me Jimmy: there's a mate you could have Janis: reckon that's her loss Janis: but I'm alright for her Jimmy: #savage Janis: don't think she's dying to talk to me either, it's alright Jimmy: might be now I fucked this up an' all Janis: what do you mean? Jimmy: you can swap stories of how crap I am Janis: she fucked around on you, you've told me before, can't be your fault Jimmy: DUH 'cause I was crap Janis: you aren't crap Janis: this were my fault, remember Jimmy: no, it weren't Janis: of course it was Jimmy: of course it weren't Jimmy: you said why you pissed off, it were nowt to do with me, what were I gonna do, hold it against you forever Janis: you told me why you can't have that and it's probably a lot more valid than why I stropped off Jimmy: people leave me Jimmy: or wanna Jimmy: 🎻🎻 etc Janis: it's really fucked, about your mum, you don't need to act like it ain't Janis: I get why you reacted how you did Jimmy: you came back Jimmy: I didn't have to be a prick about it Janis: when I came back Janis: I made loads more mistakes too Jimmy: I didn't even ask if you were alright Jimmy: I haven't now either Janis: 'cos you know Janis: like I know Janis: we're clearly not alright, as people, are we Jimmy: owt could've happened to you and I just had a go, without waiting a sec or leaving it out for one Jimmy: I'm sorry Jimmy: and I'm sorry I set you up to piss off again by reckoning you would Janis: it's alright Janis: nothing happened to me Janis: well, I'll tell you what it actually was, but I don't know if it'll sound like much now Janis: my dad, as Mia pointed out ages ago, died a few months back Janis: but before that he was a piece of shit and had loads of kids and fuck all to do with any of us for a proper amount of time Janis: and his mum likes to act like he was some saint, and one of his exes is clearly in the same boat and for some reason they've got it into their head we all need to get together as if he gave a shit about family when he was here or is gonna now Janis: that day they just showed up, when my mum weren't about, and wouldn't fuck off or shut up or get out my face so I just Janis: I can't even remember but my nan was on the floor like I'd stabbed her so I just had to go, no time to think or prepare anything Jimmy: 🍻 to shit dads Jimmy: I meant what I said, you can always stay here Jimmy: I'm still your mate even though you're not mine Janis: drink to that Janis: I meant what I said, or tried to say Janis: I wanna be your mate but I dunno how to be one or have one Jimmy: I know, and I'm not an expert myself, like Jimmy: it's different with lads and she were my mate, alright, but we weren't good mates to each other so Janis: you did a better job than me at any rate Janis: you were probably different before, yeah Janis: I was Jimmy: 🌧😒 still Jimmy: it were shit before an' all, just a different sort Janis: that's not gonna stop me wanting to be your friend, bit hypocritical Jimmy: just want you to know Jimmy: not sainting my mum, she were as bad as Ian when she were about Jimmy: alright, he's got worse since but Jimmy: 🌧🌧🌧 Janis: different shit, I hear you Jimmy: I didn't wanna get in over my head when you could just walk off again Jimmy: such bollocks Janis: understandable Jimmy: there's nowt I can do about how I feel Jimmy: or you Janis: no, there ain't Janis: but makes sense why you'd try Janis: half the reason I say no mates Jimmy: what's the other half, you just like being fit and mysterious? Janis: no, the, not knowing how to do it and not liking to be shit at things thing I mentioned Jimmy: you're not shit Jimmy: you said you were sorry you like me, but I'm sorry now you don't no more Jimmy: and I'm not sorry I like you Janis: It hasn't just turned itself off Janis: but it'd be unfair to have this conversation when you're wasted, wouldn't it Jimmy: depends Janis: go on Jimmy: 1. what I can remember when I ain't 2. if you're gonna make me 😭 Janis: exactly, can't and won't be holding you to anything you say tonight Janis: and don't wanna make you cry either, as a rule Jimmy: but Janis Janis: you never say my name Jimmy: there's loads I don't say Janis: I can tell that much Janis: you don't have to tell me anything Jimmy: can I? If I want? Janis: yeah Janis: of course Jimmy: okay Jimmy: I'm scared Janis: what of? Jimmy: not seeing you after this Janis: after this conversation, or like Janis: when you go Jimmy: both Janis: well, you'll see me after this conversation, I can promise that Jimmy: but not like before Janis: that can be a good or a bad thing Jimmy: yeah Janis: if you do remember, and you feel the same about any of it, then we can talk about that then, work it out Jimmy: what if I don't remember? Janis: you'll read this back, I'm sure Janis: whatever you said to your ex too Jimmy: have you forgotten I'm a MASSIVE dickhead Janis: met worse Janis: sorry 💔 Jimmy: you said you don't wanna make me 😭 Janis: 🤐 Janis: you're the worst person I've ever met Janis: better? Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: 😏 Jimmy: do we have to go in? 🔑🏠 Janis: you should probably go in somewhere, to warm up Janis: but there's other places we can Jimmy: @ your nan who isn't evil Jimmy: tell her to put the kettle on Janis: maybe Janis: we'll see how quiet you're capable of being first Jimmy: what are you gonna be doing to me? Janis: oi, not like that Janis: more like she probably don't wanna have a chat with you but the spare room is basically mine so if you can 🤫 a tea ain't out the question Jimmy: what time is it? Janis: pretty late Janis: she ain't evil but she is 😤 😠 😡 🤬 Janis: you might 😭 Jimmy: like you Jimmy: cute Jimmy: is your mum on the scale an' all? Janis: not cute Janis: not really Janis: she's a bit of a hippie throwback but not all ✌&💕 Jimmy: that'll be why you live in the middle of nowt, I get it 🌳🌼🌻🌱 Janis: a longer story than that Janis: but cut short, my dad was such a dick, his granddad would rather live with and leave my ma a farmhouse than him, and that's what happened Jimmy: wish I could chuck Ian out for being a knobhead Janis: when you got enough to pay the bills Jimmy: gonna start chucking stones at your nan's window of a night Jimmy: have that spare room out from under you, girl Janis: 😂 Janis: I mean, really harsh to take my role and my balcony from me like that but I get it Jimmy: your granddad still about or what? Janis: yeah, unlucky Janis: if she don't fuck you up he will Jimmy: 💔 but not for her probably, just me Janis: Poor boy Jimmy: used to it, been dumped more times than I've had girlfriends Janis: explains why you're used to the #drama Jimmy: 🖋👻🎭 Janis: she can be rosaline then Jimmy: Bill would have one of his characters end up a child bride to their dad's best mate Janis: seriously, do need to ring someone about that Janis: remind me Jimmy: it's grim up north, babe Janis: so you keep telling me Jimmy: I get it, you wanna see for yourself Jimmy: I'll pack you in my bag Janis: 👍 Janis: why not Jimmy: 💕 Janis: how are you, are you still cold? Janis: I'm basically there now Jimmy: 💀💀💀 Janis: okay, I'll 🏃 this bit fast, hold on Jimmy: you're so Janis: shh Jimmy: you said I could tell you Jimmy: owt I want Janis: okay but I won't be replying Jimmy: 🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃 Janis: [show up gal] Jimmy: [😍 af] Janis: [immediately coming at him and putting your coat on him and hugging him really tight for the warmthing] Jimmy: [SUCH a hug and SUCH a happy sigh because you missed her so much] Janis: [just telling him it's alright over and over] Jimmy: [just not letting her go for the longest time and we know it's not because he was inappropriately dressed to be thrown out into the cold] Janis: [we're allowing it, before trying to get him to walk like come on then] Jimmy: [helping her like she's the one who needs it because sweet drunken nerd] Janis: ['you're an idiot' but in a purely affectionate way] Jimmy: ['you're a top runner' what a genuine and pure thing to say sir] Janis: ['thanks' amusment] Jimmy: ['it's alright' such a genuinely cute smile like] Janis: [can't help but smile back 'I'll get you another key done tomorrow, you can hide it somewhere for emergencies'] Jimmy: ['Dunno what you heard but I'm living with your fit nan now so'] Janis: [nudging him but very gently so he's not falling] Jimmy: [dramatically hitting the deck like he's been shot but extending his hand once he's down there like come lie with me not like help me up] Janis: [being like 'Jimmy!' and getting to his side so fast 'cos you think he's actually hurt himself so then you're 😒 'how about we wait 'til we're inside to lie down, yeah'] Jimmy: [popping back up v quickly but forlorn because you don't want her to be mad at you and touching that grumpy face v softly like hey no I'm okay it's fine] Janis: [cupping his own face 'don't scare me' like barely audible even though it's assumedly pretty quiet and you're the only people about] Jimmy: [shaking his head cos he didn't mean to and he doesn't want to ever and giving her another hug] Janis: [being like soz 'cos feeling like an overreaction now and shamed] Jimmy: [just snuggling her and being soft until she feels more chill, like hide against me gal it's okay because we understand] Janis: [just have a moment kids] Jimmy: [then have a walking and handholding moment] Janis: [get to mcvickers] Jimmy: [try not to anger this nan] Janis: [just putting him to bed and going to sneaky get a tea] Jimmy: [tbf all you'd have to say is that he got locked out and she'd be fine, we know the life she lived] Janis: [although #yesallmen lmao] Jimmy: [distrust of all y'all except her own bae] Janis: [fair tbh] Jimmy: [Caleb that's something else you did, you prick] Janis: [mhmm] Jimmy: [tea will make you feel better though Jimothy] Janis: [bring that up] Jimmy: [drinking it whilst 😍 because we're not hiding nothing tonight] Janis: [looking at him like what you looking at but knowing saying that would be dangerous rn] Jimmy: [just being like 'come here' even if she's already next to you and as close as she could physically be because you always wanna be closer than that] Janis: ['drink your tea' but sitting next to him on the bed instead of at the foot of] Jimmy: [does what he's told] Janis: [after a while 'how do you feel now?'] Jimmy: ['gutted there were no biscuits but I'll live'] Janis: [😏 'if you're actually hungry-' and half getting up] Jimmy: [lowkey probably is but stopping her from going and pulling her into him in one swag movement because priorities and having her on his lap is a shameless fave] Janis: [soft 'hey' forever] Jimmy: ['please don't leave' softer and quieter] Janis: ['you can go to sleep, and I'll still be here when you wake up' squeezing his hand in silent promise] Jimmy: [writing an o and a k on that hand with his other one but not moving other than that because we're having emotions] Janis: [laying down whilst in his lap so with her head on his chest and telling him it'll be alright again] Jimmy: [just have your snuggle kids] Janis: [lull that boy to sleep]

[funkzpiel]

so what are your thoughts of FB2 after reading the screenplay?? i'm curious!!

Ooooh goodness – the short version of it is that I feel that the writing was messy and lazy, and that the characterizations and development was either non-existent or didn’t make sense most of the time. All in all, a hot mess that I found little to no entertainment out of – though it’s worth saying that I am sure the acting, music and visual effects of the actual movie would likely help at least make the story somewhat enjoyable.

For the long, savage version, look below the cut:

Honestly, where to fucking start…

NEWT SCAMANDER 

Personally I thought Newt Scamander was incredibly out of character. Now I say this from a motivational stand point rather than acting, because I adore Eddie and I’m sure that if nothing else, he probably did a phenomenal job. However, I’m still hella caught on the following:

Newt won’t go to Paris for Credence. When the Ministry of Magic meets with him and basically tells him “Either you work for us or we’re going to send this lunatic to go kill him”, I honestly can’t believe that Newt said no. Now I get that he said no because he obviously doesn’t want to kill Credence, but you cannot convince me that Newt wouldn’t have a.) seen the opportunity to have his travel visa back and b.) seen the opportunity to use his position to safely fake Credence’s death or something and help him disappear. This is the boy he tried to save, who he thought dead, who “died” of the same thing that left him obviously emotionally traumatized in the first film after he couldn’t help save the girl in Sudan. And JK wants me to believe he was like naw, I’m cool, that guy can go kill him, peace. NO.

Newt won’t go to Paris for Dumbledore. Less of a stretch, considering what he could lose: his life, his freedom, the safety of his beasts. In fact, this makes sense. What pisses me off about this is that he said no to Dumbledore, but he instead GOES TO PARIS TO BONE TINA. So now, onto my third point…

NEWT FINALLY DECIDES TO RISK HIS FREEDOM AND THE SAFETY OF HIS FUCKING BEASTS, WHO WOULD UNDOUBTEDLY SUFFER IF THEY WERE CONFISCATED BY THE MINISTRY, JUST SO THAT HE COULD SEE TINA, WHICH WHEN HE SEES HER, HE IS THEN MYSTIFIED ABOUT WHY SHE’S UPSET EVEN THOUGH HE KNEW HE INSULTED HER IN A LETTER AND QUEENIE TOLD HIM THAT SHE HAD READ A TABLOID – WHICH DON’T GET ME STARTED ON THE FACT THAT TINA, CLEVER TINA, FELL FOR A FUCKING TABLOID AND THEN NEVER EVEN BOTHERED TO LIKE CLARIFY WITH NEWT – AND ALL OF THIS ACCORDING TO THE SCRIPT TAKES PLACE A YEAR AFTER THE EVENTS IN THE FIRST FILM. DURING THIS TIME THEY’VE WRITTEN LETTERS BUT NOT DATED, SO THIS MAN IS SOMEHOW SO FUCKING HUNG UP ON HER HE’D RISK HIS LIFE AND HIS CREATURES TO THEN BARELY DO ANYTHING TO RECTIFY ANYTHING WHEN HE FINALLY FOUND HER. HE COULD HAVE DONE THAT AT ANY POINT MIND YOU. IF THAT’S HIS FUCKING MOTIVATION, HE COULD HAVE JUST BROKE THE LAW WHENEVER TO SEE HER. OR YOU KNOW, TALK VIA FIRE. LETTERS. GOD ANY FUCKING COMMUNICATION THAT DOESN’T LEAD TO DEATH. NOT TO MENTION THAT ‘MISCOMMUNICATION’ IS THE SLOPPIEST MOTIVATION FOR STORYTELLING, DEAR GOD. BUT NO – HE DIDN’T GO TO PARIS FOR CREDENCE. HE DIDN’T RISK HIS LIFE FOR ANY SIGNIFICANT REASON. HE WENT SO HE COULD BONE TINA. AND TELL HER THAT SHE HAD FUCKING SALAMANDER EYES.

Further more with the mischaracterization of Newt, in the script the Zouwu was described to have burst from a box that was on fire, incredibly malnourish, scarred and abused. You want me to believe that a.) an abused animal would have fucking done a 180 on the terrified scale for a fucking bird toy and b.) NEWT WOULDN’T HAVE REACTED AT ALL TO THE FACT THAT THIS WAS AN ABUSED ANIMAL THAT NEEDED CAREFUL HANDLING?! Qed pointed out that the neglect wasn’t obvious in the film, so I’ll give it that – but this is the way it’s written and it’s so fucking sloppy. Like the scene when he saves this cat could have been amazing. It could have showcased that Newt does something truly special and unique. Could have shown us HOW he calms beasts rather than turned it into comedic relief (which would have been fine if it wasn’t an abuse case), AND it could have been a moment for Tina to be reminded of why she is attracted to Newt instead of us being forced to believe these two stupid assholes have been pining for no real reason for each other for a year. NOT TO MENTION that this could have then led into an actual motivation for Newt to fight or be involved in Paris because you can’t tell me that Newt fucking Scamander wouldn’t want to find the asshole who abused that cat, save any other involved creatures and kill that man.

Also he trained the Niffler. His motto in the first film is that he doesn’t keep his creatures. Now at Zoos there’s a level of training wild animals to safely get them here and there, and interact with them. Newt trained the Niffler extensively. That isn’t the behavior of a man rehabilitating an animal for the wild. 

And then there’s the scene with Theseus chasing down Newt and Tina and they’re mad that he’s chasing them? And say he’s over reacting? OK BUT HAVE YOU TOLD HIM ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT YOU’RE DOING?! NO. All he knows is that his brother just broke the fucking law on a critical degree and to make matters more stinging, is using his own fucking face to do it. The scene is written so you’re rooting for Tina and Newt (specifically Newt) and if it weren’t for the fact that Newt is only there to bone Tina, maybe I would, but damn if I wasn’t livid and rooting for Theseus tbh.

QUEENIE GOLDSTEIN

What. The ever living fuck. Did she do. To. Queenie. This film had a prime opportunity to continue on the foundation of the first film and really build Queenie into something great. In the first film we see Queenie as a young woman who doesn’t think much of herself. She kind of infers that she knows she’s really only useful for looking pretty and fetching coffee when she tells Newt and Jacob that “Teenie’s the working gal”. But by the end of the film, Queenie has saved the gang once or twice, managed to bust through the security of the office of the Director of Magical Security, thought quick on her feet, leveraged people and in general just be a subtle badass. And she learned to love and to let go – and then when to fight for what she believes in when she came back for Jacob.

But the second film has turned her identity into “I NEED TO BE MARRIED”. That’s not a healthy relationship for one. She and Jacob have talked about this. Jacob never said they needed to split. But he did say he was afraid of pursuing marriage for her safety – for both their safety, honestly – because what fucking good is a fucking piece of paper that honestly means nothing but “says” they’re married if they’re fucking dead? But what did Queenie do? SHE USED MAGIC TO MAKE HIM ACT AGAINST HIS WILL. That’s just – I can’t even begin to talk about the level of fucked up that. And god, how disparaging to that character too, Queenie is so much more than that! She could be so much more than that! Instead she’s made to look crazy. She could have gone into politics to fight for Muggle/Wizard relationships – but no. Honestly there’s so many more interesting avenues to explore with this character. Or if you wanted to send her to Grindelwald, more interesting ways to do it! Maybe Grindelwald is the only one (in her mind) who knows how to undo an obliviation because it’s in fact dark magic to manipulate the mind on the level it would take to undo it! Maybe she’s in Paris trying to figure that out and Grindelwald lies and says he knows how to do it. I’d be more interested in Queenie working to restore Jacob rather than control him. And she’s obsessed! Her entire character has been so heavily warped into “I WANT TO BE MARRIED” that she disregards all the fucking destruction she first hand knows Grindelwald has done and in the script is literally says that “she is his, heart and soul”. THAT LEVEL OF DEDICATION. For no more that a fucking fluttering second of “Muggles are basically live stock, but I know some of you love them, we don’t have to kill them all.” SHE JUST IGNORES LIKE ALL THE REST OF IT. I just… she’s such a fucking hollow, messy sham of a character and it’s truly sad, because she could have been perfect example of “woman who thought she was only what society told her she was – pretty, someone who needed to get married, etc. – and realized she’s so much more than that. She’s a PERSON. Someone who is powerful and can truly make a difference. And that she can love, but she can also be QUEENIE GOLDSTEIN who happens to be in love rather than QUEENIE GOLDSTEIN WHO IS ONLY AS GOOD AS WHO SHE LOVES AND IF SHE MARRIES THEM.

TINA GOLDSTEIN

Tina doesn’t act angry around Newt at all in the beginning. She’s described to be walking with an “inner sadness” (because bright, clever AUROR TRAINED Tina fell for a tabloid). And yet half way through the film we find out she and Newt had a falling out via letter. And she only at that moment reacts to it. I want Tina giving Newt the cold fucking shoulder about that. Not to mention that the whole “you’re engaged” thing is stupid and shouldn’t even be included because literally all she needed to do was investigate a little or send a letter with the article included like “Congrats!” and he’d be like “Oh, no, I’m the best man, papers are dumb”. Give me Tina who’s actually upset about what Newt said about Aurors. Give me a Tina who slowly warms back up to Newt. Give me a relationship that makes sense and actually needs work and repair and communication damn it.

JACOB

They fucking reduced him to one motivation: “When can I eat next?” I cannot tell you how many times he’s literally used as comedic relief as the “fat guy” and just blurts out “I’m looking for food” in any tense or awkward situation. He is a war vet. He is a man in love with a society forbidden to his kind. He is potentially in the middle of a war and he sees visions of a war to come. He is more than his weight or his appetite. He also should be a little more savvy at this point. And he just magically remembers because he only had good memories??? Fine, but weak as fuck.

GELLERT GRINDELWALD

JK wants me to believe that the man who couldn’t dodge a fucking glorified stick-hand-throw-toy creature was able to apparate onto a moving vehicle in bad weather above water. A magical move that is supposed to be hard even on stable, non-moving terrain. A magical move that can splinch and maim. HE COULDN’T DODGE NEWT, BUT HE CAN APPARATE ONTO A MOVING, UNSTEADY VEHICLE AT NIGHT. He’s supposed to be powerful – fuck yeah, I’m onboard – but damn, you certainly didn’t MAKE HIM POWERFUL IN THE FIRST FILM WHEN HE WASN’T BEING TORTURED FOR A YEAR BY MACUSA. I would have been more impressed and more keen to believe him escaping from inside the carriage that doing that OP move. The fight scene in 1 is so anti-climatic and here he is at the top of 2, exhausted hobo-mage doing an epic, unbelievably unrealistic fight scene.

Also fuck Abernathy. Fucking why. Blah. 

And then he throws that gremlin thing out the window. For no reason. What, to show us he’s cruel even though they’re building a morally grey narrative for him? Certainly doesn’t help endear me to him when the whole point of the film is he is charismatic and endearing and able to convince people that the world is grey and that the forces of good are not actually good for the people at all. Of which – so heavy handed about abuse of power. They cut his TONGUE out. Lovely. “AMERICA IS FULL OF BARBARIANS”, cool thanks got it. They have like magic to silence him, but they cut out his tongue. Wizards don’t believe in punching, but they cut out his tongue.

“He’s the hero of his own story, he’s morally grey, he’s doing it for the greater good, he’s charismatic and charming!”

Grindelwald: kills a family for their home, including their child (who honestly, based off his dialogue, I thought he was going to enslave and then he killed him. Has a whole bit about how they’re livestock and don’t need to all die, and then he kills all of them).

“He’s charismatic and easy to follow and has a point I swear!”

He just… He’s so boring. He could have been so interesting, so layered, and instead he’s contradictory and nonsensical and honestly I didn’t find him charismatic either – like what the fuck, I wanted so much more.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE

Actually he’s precisely the dick I expected based off the books. So not much to say about him, tbh, I think he was nailed down right. He’s manipulative to a disgusting degree and it shows. I’ve always had a love, hate relationship with Dumbledore and that definitely continued in this – so I don’t have much to say about him here. He was well done.

CREDENCE

What. The. Fuck. Now here’s what I’m pissed about with Credence. When we first see him, he’s basically BUSTING OUT OF PRISON (the Carnival). AWESOME. I AM ON BOARD. Where the fuck is this character development?! It feels like we were flung into the ending of another fucking movie. I’m so proud of him for stepping up, for making a relationship with another person, and for fighting for his safety and to escape. But JESUS YOU NEED TO SHOW ME HOW WE WENT FROM THE SNIVELING, TERRIFIED BOY WHO COULDN’T CONTROL HIMSELF TO THE HARD YOUNG MAN WHO FUCKING BROKE HIMSELF AND ANOTHER PERSON OUT OF A BAD, ABUSIVE SITUATION. How the fuck did he even get there? How did he and Nagini build a relationship so strong that once free she FOLLOWED HIM?! Like this is a powerful result of character building that we NEVER SEE FOR NO FUCKING REASON.

Also you expect me to believe that he – without once fucking bringing it up – fucking trusts and believes and willingly goes with Grindelwald? The man who stole another man’s identity, led him on a ruse, manipulated his emotions and then BURNED THAT RELATIONSHIP TO THE GROUND?! I get that he has information, but in my mind I think Credence could’ve have focused on a lot of different avenues before he ever came close to willingly going to Grindelwald. If Grindelwald were like snuffing multiple attempts at information at every turn (rather than just one attempt) - sure. But like… this man… AFTER EVERYTHING HE DID… I need MORE to make me believe Credence would have gone with him. God, I would have believed Credence fighting and pursuing him to find Mr. Graves. OR Grindelwald using Rossier to provide information through a face Credence could ‘trust’ and reveal at the end it was him all along. Perhaps Rossier gives him the information and then says, “I know someone who can help you avenge the life that was stolen from you. I know someone who can help you change the world, Credence. No more abuse. No more looked over children. No more pain. He’s speaking tonight in the cemetery. You should come with me.” And Credence goes and it’s Grindelwald – and his speech is a balm he didn’t know he needed, and finally he draws Credence up and says, “Look how I’ve paved the way for you, the lengths I’ve gone to, all for you. I want to rectify my mistakes, Credence. I want to help you. Let me help you.” There were just MORE BELIEVABLE WAYS, JESUS.

LETA 

…why the fuck did she walk into the fire? I know why she did, but on a writing stand point it was just to make the scene flashy, tbh. There were other fucking options. I just fucking can’t. I will say, I like the development in Leta. I like seeing the beast of burden on her shoulders. She still felt a bit hollow and like… unnecessary, tbh, and I hate that her and Theseus being together was only for drama that never gets talked about or fucking resolved. I feel a lot was missing for her – and for her relationships. Honestly I don’t care for her or Credence being involved. I’d much rather see Newt, Tina and the gang struggling to figure out how to battle discontent, fear and propaganda. This feels needlessly convoluted on an M.Night scale. She’s just there (narratively) to hurt Newt and Theseus. She didn’t have her own purpose for existence. 

PLOT HOLES

Film 1: NOTHING CAN SAVE A CHILD WITH AN OBSCURUS.

Film 2: THE LOVE OF A SIBLING CAN SAVE CREDENCE, PROBABLY, EVEN THOUGH HE’S HONESTLY DOING JUST FINE.

What a clean, one dialogue line fix to what was a HUGE PROBLEM in the last film across not only Credence’s timeline, but Newt’s with the girl from Sudan.

THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC IN FRANCE IS CALLED THE FRENCH MINISTRY OF MAGIC, WHAT THE FUCK. Like the FRENCH WOMAN who was working reception called it that. They don’t have their own unique name for their government. They were like “oh, guess we’ll just be the French version of the Ministry of Magic.” I’d get it if she’d been like, hello, welcome to [enter very beautiful french name here] and tina was like “what now?” and the woman rolled her eyes and said, “The French Ministry of Magic” like ‘let me spell it out for you, jesus’. But no. THEY MULTIPLE TIMES JUST REFER TO IT THAT WAY. I will never believe it wouldn’t have it’s own unique name. What the fuck. Like MACUSA isn’t the “American Ministry of Magic”.

Harry Potter Books: THE KILLING CURSE IS A POWERFUL, DARK AND ILLEGAL THING. YOU HAVE TO WANT TO KILL. IT’S SIGNIFICANT AND RARE.

Fantastic Beasts 2: Killing Curses everywhere. Just willy knilly. Everyone, even Aurors, casting killing curses. 

Queenie stuck at Grindelwald’s hideout because Rossier wants her to meet Grindelwald is quickly followed by Grindelwald basically saying “Join me” and then “You’re an innocent, leave this place.” The whole thing makes no damn sense, but cool, cool.

Also can we talk about JK just fucking regurgitating themes like a broken fucking record? TWO FATED BABIES, BOTH WHO END UP ORPHANS (well in this case one died) but like, TRAGIC SONS. Young boy who is abused in his foster care system but is SPECIAL ™. YER A WIZARD, CREDENCE. A FATED, TRAGIC BOY AND YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN KILL X PERSON. 

It’s just a hot fucking sloppy mess of a story on a writing perspective, and I expected more.

[aizawhoa]

Hi love! Your new deck is /beautiful/. I was wondering if I could get a reading on my relationship with "M"? I'm wondering if we will be able to work through our issues and become stronger together or if we won't make it.

Thank you! My heart sings when I pick her up~!

I drew two cards: one for how to fix things and the other for whether or not you should stay together. The outcome was the four of swords reversed and the sun, also reversed.

With these two cards, I would say the outcome of this relationship isn’t the brightest at it’s current point. In order to fix the issues at hand, one needs to release the endless worry that has held them captive. I think I should just give you a quote here, because I think this might help you more than me speaking to your situation personally. The cards already have. “Being overburdened by worry is easier than accepting a fate” Again, a reversed Sun warns about following a false truth, chasing something that will only bring pain in the end of the race. 

This is the path that things are on now. Perhaps some talking and open conversations will be able to twist your luck, but it seems the interview I did with my deck earlier was right: It’s a no bullshit kind of gal. Come to me if you need anything.