#You messaged me first to make sure I wasn’t like in shock somewhere

[extravagantliar]

elisa i'll never shut up about how talented you are and that talent itself is incredible, but what makes it and you so astonishing is the heart you pour into everything. there's just such a gorgeous beating, vibrant heart at the center of your writing and varric that bleeds out into everything and its not only a joy to see but get to participate in. so glad you alone have custody of the dwarf but its nice that you let bioware see him on holidays

BW lost him in the custody battle, Mary and I now have an agreement in which I ship his ass to Canada the coldest weeks of the year.

everyone say thank you Nik, she is literally the reason why I am here.

[dancinglikebutterflywings]

Runaway Kidnapping - Part 01: Murder Plot

-> Pairing: Non-Idol!Min Yoongi x Ex-Girlfriend!Reader

-> Synopsis: The night before her wedding, Y/N overhears her fiancée and his assistant talk about a plot to have her killed 6 months after the wedding. This opens the door wide to all the secrets and schemes her fiancée and his family have been keeping and planning the whole time of their relationship. It also leads to her re-connecting with her ex-boyfriend, Min Yoongi as they end up on the run together.

-> Warnings: Mentions of murder, murder made to look like suicide, mentions of fake kidnapping. Let me know if I've forgotten anything.

-> Word Count: 3,551

-> Taglist: Open. Leave a comment on this post, send an ask or fill out my Tag List Form.

Runaway Kidnapping Masterlist

As Y/N approaches her fiancée, Ji-ho's office, she notices the door slightly ajar, a sliver of light spilling into the dimly lit office space. He messaged her earlier saying he wouldn’t be finishing work until late. Since it’s the night before their wedding, she decided to surprise him, picking up his favourite takeaway food on the way to his office knowing he probably hasn't have eaten yet.  

Just as she reaches to push the door open, but she stops herself, her hand hovering mid-air as she overhears Ji-ho and his assistant, Su-mi talking.   

“I wish we didn’t have to wait six months,” Ji-ho expresses, his voice tinged with frustration. “If only my father wasn’t so stubborn.”   

“I understand, sweetheart, but I’m sure the next six months will fly by smoothly,” Su-mi reassures him, her tone soothing yet laced with an undertone of excitement and malice. “Y/N's not the type to stir trouble; she’s too weak and timid. Plus, think about the money - 5 million won just for being married for half a year.”   

Y/N feels her heart shatter as the realization dawns on her. The last two years have been nothing but a facade, a mere arrangement for her soon-to-be husband to claim 5 million won from his father. Memories of their laughter, the sweet moments they shared, and the promises whispered in the dark come crashing down around her like shattered glass. 

Su-mi’s laughter floats through the door, light and carefree, a stark contrast to the heaviness in Y/N’s heart. “Once the money is in your hands, you can finally escape your father’s expectations. We can quit this place and go somewhere else.” 

She takes a few steps back, her breath hitching in her throat. Her hands ball into fists at her sides, a mix of anger and sadness churning within her as she realizes her relationship was tainted with a hidden agenda. The image of Ji-ho, the man that she loves and thought she knew, is now a total stranger to her. 

“We just need to ensure he never finds out that her death is pre-meditated,” she hears Ji-ho say, his tone non-chalant, causing her to jerk her head toward the door, her eyes wide with shock. 

“You don’t need to worry about that,” Su-mi replies confidently. “We just have to inform my contact whether to stage it as a suicide or an accident.”  

“Suicide,” he responds without hesitation. It’s as though he’s thought about it a lot. “If there’s a suicide note, there won’t be an investigation. An accident, however, will lead to a deeper inquiry.”  

Y/N can hardly process what she’s hearing. Tears well up in her eyes as she listens to the chilling conversation between her fiancé and his assistant. As fear for her life sets in, she retreats further, quietly slipping out of the building, making sure not to be heard.   

As she exits the building the cool night air hits her face, her first instinct is to run, to get as far away from Ji-ho and Su-mi and their schemes as soon as possible. But with her wedding tomorrow and the length Ji-ho is willing to go to for money, she knows that running away isn't enough. As she continues to think about what to do, her mind flashes to the one person she swore she'd never contact again, the only person that will be able to help her out of all this, Min Yoongi. 

With trembling hands, she abandons the bag of food and reaches into her pocket, pulling out her phone. She opens her contacts and scrolls through the numbers. She hesitates when she finds his name, her thumb hovering over the contact she should have deleted four years ago.  

Will he even answer?  

Does he still have her number?  

Did he block her like she should have blocked him?  

Does he even still have the same phone number? 

She gazes up at the building, her fiancée's and his assistant's words echoing in her mind. The towering building above her, makes her feel small and insignificant, reminding her how much higher up Ji-ho is compared to her. The son of a successful businessman and community leader vs. a kindergarten teacher with almost nothing to her name.  

Her attention shifts back to her phone as she presses the call button, her heart racing as she brings it to her ear, hoping for a lifeline.  

Time seems to slow down as she waits for him to answer his phone. She lifts her hand to her mouth as she starts biting her thumbnail, a habit she thought she had outgrown.  

She's about to give up when the call finally connects, and Yoongi’s deep familiar voice comes through the phone. "Hello?" 

"Yoongi," Y/N replies, her voice shaky and her hands trembling, the weight of her emotions spilling over. 

There’s a long silence on the other end, and for a moment, she worries he might hang up. But then, with a tone full of concern, he asks, “Y/N? What’s wrong?” 

“I don’t know what to do, Yoongi,” she whispers, her eyes darting around the almost empty street, remaining vigilant in case the two plotting her murder appear from the building. “I’m scared. I need your help.” 

“Where are you?” he inquires without missing a beat. She tells him her location. “Don’t move, okay? I’m on my way,” he assures her before ending the call. 

Clutching her phone tightly, she searches for a spot to sit where she won’t be seen by anyone leaving the office building. She finds a small bench tucked away in a corner, half-hidden by a cluster of bushes and sits down. 

Minutes stretch into what feels like hours as she waits. Finally, she spots a familiar car pulling up to the curb, and Yoongi steps out. His expression shifts from confusion to alarm as he sees her state. Without a word, he hurries over and wraps his arms around her, offering a sense of security she hasn’t felt in years.  

“Let’s get out of here,” he murmurs, guiding her to the car. Once they’re inside, he locks the doors and turns to her, his eyes filled with concern. “Tell me everything.”  

She takes a deep breath, her voice shaky as she recounts the horrifying conversation she overheard. Yoongi listens intently, his jaw tightening with every word. He makes a move to get out of the car, but she stops him. “He doesn’t know that I know. It’ll make things worse if you go in there. I think I should go to the police.”  

“Do you have evidence?” he asks. “Because they won’t listen unless you have something. If you don’t, it’s just your word against his and guess who they’ll believe.”  

“I can get evidence,” she tells him.  

Yoongi looks at her with a mix of concern and confusion. “Evidence? How are you going to get that?”  

She takes a deep breath, her mind racing through different possibilities. “I don’t know yet. Maybe I can record a conversation or find some documents.”  

He nods slowly, considering her words. “They’re planning to have you killed, Y/N, who knows what else they're capable of," He says, echoing her thoughts from before. "You can’t just walk back in there and start digging around. Who knows what they’ll do to you if they catch you snooping around.” 

It’s then she gets an idea. “Do you still do what you do?” she asks, remembering his job of getting paid to do things like find people, cause a scene in public, and pretty much anything that doesn’t involve kids, sex and murder.  

“I haven’t changed much in four years,” he says, confirming he’s still in the business. “I do have two employees now though.”  

“Kidnap me from my wedding,” she suggests, causing him to look at her shocked. “I have money. I can pay you.”  

Yoongi blinks, processing her words. "Kidnap you? From your wedding?" he repeats, his voice filled with disbelief.   

“Yes,” she asserts, her determination growing stronger.  

“Okay,” he nods agreeing to the plan and starts forming a plan in his head, not needing much convincing. “Message me all the details and I’ll work something out.”  

“Thank you,” she smiles sadly, thinking about how her life has come to this.   

“Do you want me to take you home?” Yoongi asks her, as he starts his car.   

“I don’t think I can go home,” she sighs, she already shares an apartment with Ji-ho. They decided to move in together before the wedding, so they didn’t have to worry about it afterwards. “Ji-ho and I already live together,” she tells him. “All my stuff is there but I don’t think I can go back now that I know what they’re planning.” 

“Is there another place you can go?” he asks. 

“Taehyung. You can take me to Taehyung’s,” she replies, mentioning her younger brother and relays his address to him.  

As Yoongi drives toward Taehyung’s home, nothing more is said. The silence is heavy but not uncomfortable. It’s more like a mutual understanding filled with unspoken thoughts and memories of their past. The fear of bringing up old feelings keeps them from talking. Yet, Y/N can’t help but admire her ex-boyfriend, her heart fluttering slightly as she takes him in. He hasn’t changed all that much. The only difference being that his hair is longer now, cascading in soft waves that frame his face and his face looks leaner. Other than that, he still resembles the same Yoongi she fell in love with all those years ago. 

Arriving at Taehyung’s apartment building, Yoongi parks the car and turns to look at her, his expression serious. “Are you sure you’ll be okay here?” he asks, his brow slightly furrowed in concern for his former love. 

She pauses briefly before responding, “I’ll feel better once this is all behind me.”   

“Send me a list of your things,” he instructs her, his tone firm yet gentle.  

“Why?” she asks, puzzled.  

“Just trust me on this,” he replies, keeping it vague, a hint of determination in his voice that makes her heart flutter with a mix of anxiety and hope.  

She agrees with a nod. 

“Don’t stress about anything, okay?” he tries to comfort her, his voice softening. “I’ll make sure everything goes smoothly. Just try to get some rest.” She can see the sincerity in his eyes and for a second she can see a flicker of the boy she once knew so well.  

“Thank you, Yoongi,” she murmurs, her voice barely above a whisper. As she reaches for the car door handle, he stops her. 

“If you tell Taehyung what’s going on, make sure he doesn’t tell anyone else. The less people that know, the better,” he advises her, knowing how close her and Taehyung are.  

With a reluctant sigh, she agrees and exits the car. Taking a moment to gather her thoughts, she grips her phone tightly, as if it could ground her against the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside her. She turns her head, sparing one last look at Yoongi. His eyes are intense and filled with an emotion she can’t quite decipher. She offers him a small, grateful smile before turning on her heel and walking towards her brother’s apartment building. 

After pressing the number to her brother’s floor, the elevator doors open, and she steps inside. Distracting herself, she starts typing on her phone a list of her more sentimental belongings, the ones she can’t live without as well as the details for her wedding tomorrow.   

When the elevator finally dings, signalling her arrival, she steps out and makes her way to Taehyung’s door. As she reaches her door, she hits send, sending the message to Yoongi before she raises her hand to knock on the door.  

The door swings open after a few seconds, and she’s met with Taehyung whose smiley face turns into one of concern when he sees her. 

“Noona, what are you doing here so late?” he asks, stepping aside to let her in. “Is everything okay?” 

She offers him a faint smile, attempting to hide the chaos within her. “I’ll tell you everything in the morning. For now, can I stay here for the night?”  

“Sure,” he replies, understanding that it’s best not to press her for details right now. “You can take my bed. Jungkook’s out for the night, so I’ll see if I can crash in his room.” 

Y/N hugs him, before making her way to into his bedroom. Y/N wraps her arms around him in gratitude before heading to her brother’s bedroom. As she lies down, fatigue finally catches up with her, but sleep eludes her as her mind races with what's happened within the past hour—her relationship was merely a scheme for someone for her already rich fiancee to become richer, a crafted murder plot since divorce isn’t an option and reconnecting with her ex, only to ask him to kidnap her from her wedding. 

With a heavy sigh, she tries to quiet her mind and reaches for her phone. Her fingers hover over the screen, tempted to call Yoongi but ultimately decides against it. Instead, she texts Ji-ho: “Staying with Tae tonight. I'll see you at the wedding hall in the morning.” When she gets no reply, she isn't surprised. She wasn't expecting him too.   

Eventually, her weariness takes over, and she drifts into a restless sleep. 

As soon as Yoongi receives Y/N's message, he quickly finds her address and drives over to the apartment building. Once inside, he makes his way through the dimly lit hallway. Finally, he reaches her apartment, and a sense of determination washes over him. Figuring out the door code feels like a small triumph, sending a surge of excitement through him as he puts on a face mask and pushes the door open and steps inside. 

Upon entering, he’s taken aback by how empty and cold it feels. It lacks any personal touches or decorations. It feels sterile. He looks around at the minimal furnishing - A small coffee table sits in the middle of the living room, a lonely remote resting on top, a couch that appears untouched, a potted plant in the corner that seems to be struggling to survive. Looking at the kitchen, it’s just as bare, with only the necessities in sight. 

He begins to reminisce about the cramped, shabby apartment he once shared with Y/N. Despite its imperfections, she filled it with warmth and comfort, decorating the walls with photos of their adventures, friends, and family. There were books stacked haphazardly, each one a testament to love for stories, fictional or true. Plants thrived in every corner. And then there was the record player, a cherished relic handed down from her father, that always filled the air with music, creating a soundtrack to their lives together. He can almost hear the laughter that used to echo off the walls and the late-night conversations that stretched into the morning. 

But this apartment wasn’t like Y/N at all. It was the complete opposite. 

Yoongi takes a deep breath, trying to shake off the nostalgic feeling. He steps further inside scanning the room for security cameras, He finds one in the corner of the room and disables it before moving on to the first room he comes across.  Inside the room is a desk and computer with some shelves to the side. It has more of a personal touch than the living room. He quickly finds the camera in there and disables that one too. 

Realizing he can't tackle what he’s about to do alone, he quickly sends the address and access code for the apartment to Kim Seokjin, better known as Jin, his business partner. Within seconds, Jin is calling him.  

"What's up with the address?" Jin inquires as soon as Yoongi picks up.  

"Hyung, I need you and Namjoon to get here as fast as you can," Yoongi tells him, his voice quiet like he’s afraid someone is going to hear him. "I'll fill you in when you arrive."  

"We'll be there in 10," Jin replies without hesitation, Namjoon already being with him and hangs up.  

Yoongi then contacts a guy he messaged after dropping Y/N off at Taehyung's place, asking him to keep an eye on Ji-ho's office building in case he leaves before Yoongi can finish up at the apartment.  

When the guy messages him back saying Ji-ho hasn’t left yet, Yoongi walks over to the desk, and with gloved hands he begins to search through the desk drawers for anything that might help with Y/N’s situation. He soon discovers a key ring with three keys and slips it into his pocket.  

Before long, the sound of the front door opening and closing announces Jin and Namjoon's arrival. He steps out of the office to greet them in the living room.  

"What’s going on, Hyung?" Namjoon asks, his voice serious and low. 

Yoongi forwards Y/N’s message to them. "That’s a list of stuff we’re here for, let’s get it, trash the place and get out of here,” he tells them. “I’ll explain everything else when we’re done,” he promises them before remembering to tell them, “There’s cameras so wear a mask and keep quiet.” 

Without wasting any time, the three of them split up to search different areas of the apartment. Yoongi finds a couple empty boxes in the storage cupboard, and they start putting everything they came to get into them. Jin heads to the kitchen, grabbing everything from there, Namjoon starts combing through the living room, while Yoongi takes the bedroom.  

Yoongi then heads back to the home office and continues his search for stuff there, his eyes land on a locked drawer. He tries a few keys from the keyring he found earlier, and with a satisfying click, the drawer opens. Looking inside he finds an envelope with a few files. He goes through the files finding exactly what he hoped they would be. He places them on the desk and pulls out the envelope. He opens it and finds money, a whole lot of it. 

“Pabo,” he scoffs at Ji-ho's stupidity, closing the envelope. “I’ll take that as payment,” he adds as he pockets the cash inside his coat before grabbing the files and leaving the room. 

Once they were all done, they trashed the apartment to look like a robbery. They were just about finished when Yoongi’s watchman texted him to tell him Ji-ho was leaving the office. The managed to disappear from the apartment before Ji-ho arrived. 

“Did you think I wouldn’t notice?” Jin asks Yoongi after they get back to their so-called headquarters that's just a rundown apartment in a building that is set to be demolished in a few months and doubles as where Yoongi resides.  

Yoongi gives him a blank stare, having anticipated this reaction from his best friend. 

“You didn’t think I wouldn’t notice Y/N in those photos? What’s going on, Yoongi?" Jin continues to press him. "And don’t tell me you’ll tell me later. I want to hear it now.”  

“She’s hired me to kidnap her from her wedding tomorrow?” Yoongi reveals to the two men.   

 Jin stares at him in shock, trying to process what he just heard. “Can you repeat that?” 

“Y/N wants me to kidnap her from her wedding,” Yoongi repeats himself. 

“Who’s Y/N?” Namjoon chimes in confused, while Jin looks at Yoongi in disbelief, momentarily speechless. Kim Namjoon joined them after Yoongi and Y/N’s relationship ended, so he never had the chance to meet and get to know her.  

Jin turns to Namjoon, his expression morphing into exasperation directed towards Yoongi. “Oh right, you don't know who Y/N is? She’s only the most amazing person Yoongi ever dated!" he stops pausing for a moment as he thinks of something and then continues, "In fact she's the only person Yoongi has ever dated for more than a week. They were childhood sweethearts and practically inseparable until… well, things went to shit.” He glances back at Yoongi, searching for any sign of regret or longing, but finds only a stoic facade. "I'm pretty sure he's still in love with her." 

Yoongi's stoic look turns into a glare. “This isn’t about rekindling my relationship with her. She’s in trouble, and I’m just trying to help her out," he snaps, his voice low and edged with irritation.  

“Then explain to us what's going on so we can help you,” Jin urges, attempting to ease the tension. “And her,” he quickly adds, reminding Yoongi that he still cares for her too. During their relationship Jin was always like a big brother to her. 

"Fine,” he relents, his voice dropping as he calms himself down. “Y/N is getting married tomorrow to someone who plans to murder her in 6 months. Her fiancee seems to have a deal with his father that if he gets married, stays married for six months he gets 5 million won." 

"Why not just divorce her?" Namjoon asks.  

"Maybe its null and void if he gets divorced," Yoongi shrugs. "I'm hoping it's all in here," he says holding up the file he stole from the drawer along with the money. 

"So, what's plan?" Jin asks, his anger bubbling to the surface.  

Yoongi smirks and starts telling them everything he has planned. 

©️2025 dancinglikebutterflywings - Do not copy. modify and/or repost anywhere.

TAG LIST: @rainyday-daydreamer - @carattinymoa - @astuteataraxy - @jajabro - @baechugff

@mintyoongireader - @wobblewobble822 - @jaymiwrld

[wizardofrozz]

Above Coruscant (pt. 2)

Commander Fox x reader

Word Count: ~3.1k

Warnings: +18 MDNI, slight exhibitionism, hair pulling, unprotected PiV sex, outdoors sex, mentions of sexting, glove kink if you squint, the armor stays on, enjoy lol

A/N: If you haven't read part 1, this might not make a whole lot of sense but if you're just here for the filth, then you could probably skip the first part lmao. I'm not even sorry for the person I become when it comes to writing Fox 😈

Part 1

It was easy to forget how populated the city-planet was until you were hundreds of feet in the air, your speeder bike cutting through traffic lanes. Coruscant's air was slightly less polluted this high up, the smog hanging somewhere below your dangling feet, and you savored the fresh air. 

Well, as fresh as Coruscant could be. 

Your heart skipped when the familiar imposing shape of the Coruscant Guard's headquarters came into view. It had been about a week since your mission with a certain Marshal Commander, and to say you were excited to see him again was an understatement. Hells, you couldn't even think too hard about him without remembering how he tasted. 

That was something you knew now, and your treacherous brain made sure to remind you far too often. 

The soles of your boots had barely hit the duracrete outside the club when Fox’s com had started to chime, and even with the modified helmet on, you could see how he had deflated. You barely said goodbye before he took off, jogging to the nearest landing pad in time for a gunship to swoop down into view. At least he looked just as disappointed as you felt before the larty whisked him away. 

The details of his assignment were need-to-know - you knew better than to ask - but the first message that came through one evening helped. His messages were scattered and irregular, but he kept up the conversation throughout the week since you last saw him. Conversations ranged from innocent ‘how is your day?’ to messages that had you setting your datapad down and hoping no one noticed the wide-eyed look on your face as you shifted in your seat. 

Yeah, this visit was long overdue. 

Bringing your speeder closer to the surface, you merged into the skylane that would bring you around to the Guard’s headquarters, and your heartbeat skipped. Even in the middle of the day, the military police headquarters was intimidating. Red dots moved about near the front of the building in perfectly spaced lines, and if you didn't know any better, you'd automatically assume their superior was a dick. 

Well. He kind of was, but that was beside the point.

Cutting a sharp left, you slowed to a reasonable speed, deciding to avoid the spectacle it would be if you used the main entrance and headed for one of the landing pads near the back of the building you were more accustomed to using. Thankfully, the landing pad was empty and covered in shadows.

The brakes squealed as you brought the bike to a stop, and you flinched. Making a mental note to call your usual garage later, you shut the engine down, unaware of the shadow lingering in the doorway. The fumes weren't as heavy on the surface, but it was a noticeable difference, and you tried not to grimace as you climbed off the bike. Maybe one day you'd get used to it. 

Wrapped up in your random train of thought, you missed when the shape near the door moved closer, just enough to make the paint on his armor discernible. You nearly jumped out of your skin when you turn toward the building. Shock outweighed your joy for a few precious moments. 

"Stop hiding in the shadows like a creep," you huffed, thinking about tossing your riding goggles at his stupid head. The urge didn't go away when his armored shoulders shook faintly with silent laughter. 

“Wasn’t hiding,” Fox countered, pulling his helmet off to reveal the faint smirk on his face. Maker, how did it make you want to kiss him more?

“Hm, seemed like it to me,” you mumbled, tucking your goggles into the saddlebag beside your leg. You didn’t turn to look at him, mostly because you didn’t want him to see the smirk on your face but also because you were curious about what he’d do. Some of the messages he sent you the last few days were…detailed. “I think you were hoping to sneak up on me.” 

A low hum was Fox’s only response, and it took considerable effort to stop the gasp from tumbling past your lips when you realized he was close enough that you could lean back against his chest if you wanted. Gods above, you were on a landing pad where anyone could walk through the door, but apparently, Fox didn’t give a shit. Honestly, you didn’t either when he leaned down, his soft exhale brushing past your ear. 

“And if that was my plan? Then what?” 

He hadn’t even touched you yet, and it felt like you were going to disintegrate on the spot. Well, a week's worth of subtle and not-so-subtle teasing would do that, you supposed. 

“Then I’d hope you’d follow through with one of those ideas I’ve heard so much about,” you whispered, leaning back just enough to feel the brush of his chest plate against your shoulder blade. “My personal favorite was something about bending me over this bike.” 

This time, you did gasp when Fox pulled you against his chest, the harsh cut of his codpiece pressing against your ass. You couldn’t care about that, though, when he growled, and the sound sent a wave of heat pumping through your veins. You wanted to hear it again. 

“Oh, I will, cyar’ika, don’t worry,” Fox murmured, nudging the side of your face. His lips brushed your cheek as he spoke, and his grip on you slackened only for him to knead your hips gently. “But that’ll be for later.”

It took all your self-control not to bodily drag Fox onto the speeder and race back to your apartment. Then one of his hands started to drift down, his fingers teasing the top of your pants, and instead of pulling away, you leaned more of your weight into him, one of your hands drifting back to trace the outside of his thigh plate. 

“You’re done for the day, so what’s stopping you?” You felt his sigh before you heard it, and that alone had your hopes plummeting. 

“Senate called an emergency meeting. Either I’m stuck here until they’re done or switch places with Stone.” His wandering hand doesn’t stop, sending a chill racing across your skin when just the tips of his gloved fingers slip under the waistband of your pants. “Can’t leave just yet, but I’d still rather be here.”

At this point, you’d take whatever relief you could get. 

“You’re on call, then?” Laughter rumbled against your back, and you would’ve smiled, but the open-mouthed kiss just under your ear wiped any coherent thought from your mind. All you could think about was Fox’s mouth and his hand slipping further into your pants.

“Yeah, but pretty sure Thire isn’t gonna call me unless the galaxy’s on the verge of ceasing to exist.” 

Even though the situation wasn’t ideal, it was better than nothing. 

Fox’s eyes were bright even in the shadows of headquarters when you twisted your upper body around to see his face. 

“Good to know,” you whispered before pulling him into a heated kiss. The ghost of the first kiss you shared with Fox had been haunting you since it happened, but this time was different, hungrier. The bitterness of caf lingered on his tongue as it slid into your mouth, and you sighed, releasing the side of his thigh to grip his vambrace. 

The contact made his fingers twitch, the fabric of his gloves brushing over your sensitive skin just enough to force a pathetic sound past your lips. Every inch of your body was humming with need like you hadn’t experienced in a long time, if ever. You blamed it on the steamy messages that were finally becoming a reality and the pent-up frustration you’d been shoving down for nearly a year now. 

You blamed that when you tugged Fox’s arm, whining against his lips, “Please.” 

This close, you could feel the shudder that rippled through his body, and the hand still holding your hip tightened, keeping you in place. Your mouth dropped open, but no sound came out; every thought in your head was obliterated as Fox slid a finger through your soaked folds. 

When you finally opened your eyes, his face was out of focus. Intense was a good word to describe Fox at times, and right now, it was the only word you could think of to describe the look on his face as he slowly slid a finger into you. The fabric of his gloves wasn’t unpleasant, but you were almost positive that anything he did at this point would drive you wild. 

Fox drove you wild, plain and simple. 

The deliberate pump of his finger made your lids heavy, and you clenched around the digit when the muscle in his jaw fluttered. In this position, you couldn’t move well, your hips trapped in place by his iron grip, and any attempt to grind against his hand was pointless. Although, your attempts at finding more friction seemed to goad Fox into giving you what you wanted anyway. 

As he added a second finger, Fox’s eyes darted around your face like he was searing the visual of you like this into his mind. The soft, pleading whine of his name made his eyes darken, and his tongue poked out to wet his lips. Your eyes tracked the movement. 

“Fuck me,” you whispered, finding his eyes. 

“Right here?” Fox’s voice was rough, each word dragging over gravel as they passed his lips and your pussy clenched around his fingers. A sinful smirk lifted the corner of his mouth, and fuck, you never wanted to see someone’s face between your legs as bad as you did at that moment. 

“What? Scared?” You wanted to pat yourself on the back for not sounding as ruined as you already felt. 

Then, the smirk on Fox’s face turned wolfish. 

The disappointment at being empty only lasted a few seconds, your head spinning when Fox pulled you around to face him. It had to be the armor that made him look so broad. Although, if you remember correctly (you remembered perfectly), his shoulders still looked just as wide when he wasn’t wearing armor. 

The back of your legs bumped the seat of your speeder, and you slid onto the cushion without being prompted, fighting off a smirk when you leaned back against the control panel. Your feet came to rest on the housing holding the seat in place, your knees falling open as an invitation, and the way Fox’s eyes raked down your body made your walls flutter weakly. 

Fox said nothing as he walked around to the back of the bike. The model you drove was compact, narrower than most, and Fox easily straddled the engine. Your throat clicked as your eyes trailed upward until you reached his face. 

Maybe this position wasn’t the best idea when he’s looking down at you like that. 

Shuffling forward, Fox gently knocked your feet off the durasteel, moving to stand over the seat and forcing your legs open wider to accommodate his hips. The kama hanging around his hips brushed against the material of your pants, and suddenly, you needed to feel him again. 

The second his eyes dropped to your belt, your hands moved; Fox smirked, his hands resting on your knees. He took over once your pants reached your knees, and you tried not to snort at the few failed attempts at getting your pantleg over your boot. Any hint of amusement vaporized the second his fingers teased the inside of your thigh. 

“Take my codpiece off.” The order - and that was exactly what it was - made you jump, forcing your attention away from the feather-light touch of his fingers. 

For some reason, it wasn’t until that moment that you realized he was still fully armored…and would remain that way. Your lips parted around a nearly silent whine, but your hands were already moving to do as he said, even as his fingers wandered higher. 

It took a few tries to find the correct clip, but once you did, Fox groaned low in his throat without the pressure of his armor. Gods, he looked bigger than you remembered, but before, you could only feel him through layers of clothing. If you were being honest, you never thought you’d get past a few fleeting touches. 

This was much more than you expected. Not that you were complaining. 

Your thoughts screeched to a halt when a finger hooked up the band of your panties. Your breath caught when Fox shuffled forward again, only to pause. Fox’s eyes darted around like he was looking for something, and you tried to follow his movements. When he huffed through his nose, you reached up to gently cup his face, drawing his eyes back to you. 

“Probably should’ve thought about the logistics before we got here,” Fox mumbled, his nose wrinkling. The mannerism unique to him made you smile absently as you tried to think of a solution. 

“Come on, handsome, you’re a Marshal Commander. Don’t think you can keep us upright and fuck me senseless at the same time.” It was meant to be a joke, and it came out that way, but when Fox’s dark eyes snapped to your face, all the moisture in your mouth evaporated.

All you could do was throw your arms around his shoulders to keep yourself from tumbling off the speeder when he suddenly pulled you further down, stretching you out under him. The hand not wedged between your bodies grabbed the valley between controls, bringing his face inches from yours, and your walls fluttered again. 

“Watch me,” he growled. 

A broken gasp was punched out of your chest when the head of his cock brushed through your folds, gathering your arousal, but it didn’t fully hit you that, yes, you were about to do this until he paused at your entrance. Your nails scrapped against his backplate, clawing to have him closer, and Fox didn’t make you wait long. 

Lightning arced up your spine, your mouth dropping open as his hips shifted forward. It wasn’t until Fox’s mouth slanted over yours that you registered the high-pitched moan falling from your lips. Although he wasn’t much better, the kiss muffled his answering moan as he sank into you with care. 

The pinch of his armor should’ve bothered you when his hips finally stopped moving, but the hint of pain only made the pleasure clawing its way out that much more intense. Fox shuddered when you whimpered. 

“Fuck, you feel incredible,” he panted into your mouth, his free hand squeezing the side of your thigh. 

“Fox,” you gasped, one of your hands sliding into his hair. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you made note that it was softer than you imagined. Then, he shifted his hips, and you might as well have forgotten what hair was. With a grunt barely muffled behind his teeth, Fox picked up a slow, careful pace that punched a broken sound past your lips that you tried to smother against the side of his neck. 

The bike shook with every roll of his hips, and while you had teased him about it earlier, you genuinely hoped you wouldn’t tumble to the ground. At least it would be an interesting story. 

As if he were reading your mind, Fox slid his hand up to your waist to coax your back to arch slightly so he could wrap his arm around you, lifting your hips in the process. The slight change forced your shoulders down against the control panel, and the next rock of his hips had stars exploding behind your eyelids. He wasn’t fast enough to muffle your cry this time, yet he didn’t seem to care anymore as he moved a little faster. 

“There we go,” he rumbled, his lips brushing over the corner of your mouth. 

Lights flashed in your vision, and you couldn’t tell if it was passing speeders or the pleasure blinding you at this point. Every nerve ending felt like it had been scorched, and Fox’s labored breathing and the occasional groan frayed your nerves even more. Your fingers tightened in Fox’s hair, and the answering moan that filled the air had you clenching around his cock, your back arching further. 

“Do it again,” Fox panted, his hips moving faster and harder than before. The bike trembled dangerously, but you were too far gone to care. You blindly did as he asked while he zeroed in on the spot that made your body tense almost painfully. His voice broke around a soft cry when you tugged on his curls again, and a fresh wave of heat coursed through your veins. 

Mindlessly, you forced your hand between your chest and Fox’s. The first brush of your fingers against your clit had every muscle pulling taut as you raced closer to the edge. 

Fox cursed, blindly searching for your mouth as his thrust grew sloppy. The speeder bike’s frame whined under the strain. 

You teetered on the edge for a heartstopping moment, blood rushing in your ears, and then the pleasure crested in a spectacular explosion of color. Fox shuddered against you, and you were almost too far gone to realize his hand had moved from the controls to cover your mouth. 

Sensations blurred together until all you knew was Fox: the feel of his hips snapping against you one last time, the vibration of his chest as he groaned one last time, and the taste of his mouth on your tongue. You were addicted, without a doubt.

The bike wobbled when Fox slumped against you, the hard press of his chest plate forcing out the little bit of air in your lungs with a wheeze. The fragmented pieces of your awareness slowly knitted back together, your fingers absently combing through the curls on the back of his head. Your lashes fluttered when he shifted, the soft hum in the back of his throat vibrating against your chest. 

The fucked out grin on his face had no right looking that good, and you vowed to see it again and again. As many times as he let you. 

“Told you I could,” Fox mumbled, blindly searching for a handhold to take some of his weight off of you. 

What he said sank in after a few seconds, and your borderline delirious laugh filled the air, making his smile grow. 

“It wasn’t a challenge,” you managed between laughs, your smile matching his. Fox merely shrugged, but his smile faltered when he moved to stand straighter, his expression pinching briefly. 

“Good, ‘cause my legs kinda hurt now.” Another laugh fell from your lips, echoing off the building surrounding you, and you pulled Fox back down into another kiss, smiling against his lips. 

taglist:

@a-single-tulip @wings-and-beskar @anxiouspineapple99 @secondaryrealm @dystopicjumpsuit

@moonlightwarriorqueen @msmeredithrose @starrylothcat @starqueensthings @multi-fan-dom-madness

@trixie2023 @mythical-illustrator @cw80831 @hetalianskywalker @bankseys-rat

@sev-on-kamino @dickarchivist

[starluvsx]

𝘗𝘶𝘳𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘙𝘢𝘪𝘯ִִ*ੈ༘⋆

Proofread: mostly Wc:6.3k WARNINGS:Cheating,swearing,smut,piv,oral(m!receiving),getting caught in the act,reader is insecure,SH,use of drugs multiple times,Chris being an asshole kinda(guy logic), just sadness, no happy ending;(

Reader ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

my hands shook as i read the text.it had been sent 30 minutes ago but for some reason every time I re-read it it felt like the first."chris cheated on you"was all it said.it was from his own brother,matthew, so i knew this wasn't some type of sick joke.matt actually always had my back.when guys would make fun of me or people would stare he would try and jump in to tell them to stop.we were never friends, far from that.he was just a nice guy.

tears welled up in my salted eye as I began to type out my response to this shocking information. "What?" was all my fingers could pry themselves to type out.such a simple question with an answer that will unravel the past 5 years of my life of my life.matt began typing again almost as soon as I hit send, this time taking a much longer time.my heart sunk even deeper, if that was even possible at this point, and my stomach twisted into knots that no medicine could undo.

After about 2 minutes his message bubble showed up.i felt nothing short of sick to my stomach as i read it.he had gone to a party and cheated on me with some random slut, and was bragging about it?my head felt as if it would fall off my body at any second.i couldn't believe what i was reading, i didn't want to believe it.

the detailed story made my entire body fill with so many emotions.i began to hyperventilate.breathes quickening by the second.i didn't know what to do.a story with so much detail had no choice but to be true.i didn't want to be in my own skin anymore.i shoved the sleeve of my hoodie up and began to scratch at the skin on my arm harshly.the stinging sensation sending strange tingles to my head.old scars on my wrists sensitive, tender, so breakable.

I soon felt the need to break away.i ripped the hoodie off my body in a weird flailing mess.gripping at chunks of my hair and ripping my headphones out of my now red ears.broken sobs lefty my mouth as I attempted to catch my breath.tears pouring out of me like a fountain.how could he do this to me.after everything he told me?and everything we've been through?

anger began to fill my blood.i started to shake my hands violently.needing to get rid of this tent up anger and sadness smoothie somehow.before i knew it my hand was in my wall.blood trickling down my fist once I removed it from the fresh hole.i then realized what I had to do.My feet hurriedly carried me to the front door.I grabbed my keys somewhere along my journey to the car.puting the key in the ignition and starting my car up.the drive there was a blur.i don't even think I should be driving like this.but who cares? I sure didn't

Chris ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

Blood rushed to my face as i took another shot.i began to feel dizzy as this was my fourth one of the night and tilting my head back wasn’t the best for the state i was in.i let the alcohol burn through my throat like fire as i swallowed. I looked down at my phone unsteadily. I couldn’t help but notice a few missed calls from my girlfriend. I thought nothing of it. Y/n is always clingy anyways.

I mean seriously I go out for one night and she's up my ass. I put my phone on dnd so she cant bother me any longer.This was my night.i was going to have fun whatever way i want, without her.that sounds right.perfect actually.

I shot my head up from my phone as one of my good friends came up to me with a call of my name.it was Jack “hey man” i slurred out as i weakly dabbed up the blonde.he was sweaty and out of breath.I internally cringed as his clammy palm grabbed mine.trying my best to wipe my hand without him noticing.

“Yo, I got two men upstairs waiting if you tryna join?” He asked.i knew what he meant by two man.it definitely didn’t mean double date.i contemplated what I should do, not being able to stop harping back to the missed calls from my girlfriend.i knew it was wrong.i was drunk but not dumb.she loved me, i loved her at one point.this was fucked.everything about what i had been doing behind her back these past few months has been fucked.

I soon found my mouth moving faster than my brain. “Which one is mine?”

Reader ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

It felt like I had just teleported here as I stared at chris' front door.I knocked on it with my good hand.A few seconds later I was met with a confused looking matt. "woah what happened to you?" he asked shocked

I ignored his question entirely.he’s a big boy and thinks he can piece together what happened to me. "your parents home?"I asked.knowing that what I was about to do wasnt something his parents should hear.

"uh no they're.out why are you here?"Matt asked confused and weirded out.i never truly noticed how handsome he was.it might just be my blurry vision though.

"Is Chris home or is he with that slut Stacy?"I snipped at the taller boy.

"nah he actually went out for a few hours, to another party or something." I felt defeated as the words left his mouth. my body didn't even have the strength to support the anger running through my veins as I could only imagine what he was doing at this party.

I needed to get high.That was all I knew how to do In times like this.times when the only things that consumed my thoughts were ones that made me feel as if I wanted the earth to swallow me whole. "You got weed?" I sputtered out as I fought back tears.

Matt was clearly taken aback at my suddenness but nonetheless answered "yea.. come in" he moved aside to let me in. I mumbled a small thanks as I walked past him into the house.

Chris ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

I followed Jack upstairs as he began to describe the girl I would get.she was apparently blonde, short and had a fat ass, perfect. You could see how excited I was by simply looking down at my pants. Hopefully this girl will reciprocate.

Through all my excitement it wasn't hard to find guilt.it lingered in the back of my mind while doing these kinds of things. y/n was probably home, watching some stupid rom-com cuddled up in a blanket all cozy, sad and worried I'm not answering but doing her best to ignore it.that's just how she was.an over thinking anxiety mess that liked to hide it to make herself feel better.i would be lying if i said i didn't find that cute.

As Jack opened the door I was met with two girls waiting for us on the bed.i could spot the blonde immediately seeing as the other had dark coily hair, definitely jack's type. I eagerly made my way over to my girl who I hadn't even learned the name of. She was even more gorgeous then I had imagined.her hair was pin straight and her lips were plump, red.she had blue eyes and the hottest body.

I connected our lips before any words could be spoken.our lips moved perfectly as i undressed her.i paid no mind to what Jack and his girl were doing. All I care about is her. All I want is her. Her soft lips made my fingers tingle as I touched her bare skin.feeling like my fingers were on fire as they roughly brushed over every part of her.

She then flipped us over so she was on top of me. As I felt her clothed wetness with my fingers I couldn’t help but remember my girlfriend.she was probably at home right now, wondering where I am and what I’m doing and why I’m not answering, slowly getting more upset by the second.I brushed off the thought as the blonde on top of me took off her panties and began to position herself on top of my face.I was in perfect view of her pussy.everything a guy could dream of. Shaved, pink, tiny, perfect.

Something still felt so wrong.I had cheated on y/n plenty of times, why does now feel different? Before my thoughts could continue I felt my phone buzz in my back pocket.I know this is wrong.I need to leave.then without saying anything I got her off of me and left the room.Jack didn’t seem to say anything but she was throwing confused obscenities at me as I walked out.

Reader ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

My giggles were uncontainable as me and Matt cracked jokes across from each other on our comfortable spot on the floor. The music in the background paired with the purple led lights added an ambience to the room that couldn't be replicated. as the laughs died down the reality of my entire relationship set into my heart. I had been lied to by the one person who saw me for me.the one person to ever treat me right, buy me flowers, take me shopping, buy me food, listen to me talk about random stuff, stay on the phone with me almost every night until I fell asleep, was gone. I don't want this change. it wasn't one I could handle in my heart that had already grown as heavy as tons.

without thinking as soon as the tears began to spring out of my eyes I hugged matt.it was a little awake since we were on the floor after but it didn't matter.we sat there for some time.just holding each other as I cried into his chest.he was just so comfortable to be around, I couldn’t help but melt into him.before I could catch my own body I found my lips on his.I don’t know how it happened but it did.it felt right yet wrong.perfect yet oh so messed up.

We kisses sloppily as we were still high as shit.I slowly climbed on top of Matt which made me break the kiss for a moment.I took the second to stare deep into his hooded eyes.every detail of his face sinking into my eyes.a cheeky smile was plastered on his face and it was in this moment that i realized, he was the one.

I hurriedly kissed him again and began to remove my top as he did the same for himself.toned body all in view.my world felt like it was spinning as I tired to unclasp my bra while giggling.our tongues messily fought through laughs and desire.I felt so light yet so grounded at the same time.as if our bodies were morphing together.

We wasted no time taking all of our clothes off, both of us now completely naked on top of each other on his bedroom floor.

Chris ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

I barely shuffled past the crowd of drunken young adults as I made my way to the door and eventually my car.my eyes darken with anger at myself, hurting the only girl I've ever loved? who the fuck am I?I feel guilt wash over me as I realize how many time I had already done this. The number was truly lost on me as this normally happened when I was blackout drunk but it had to be around 10 now.

I put the keys in the ignition and started the car.my fists feel like they might explode if I didn't hit something now.i restrain myself hesitantly.scared that if I hit something I won't be able to stop. I quickly started driving.i shouldn't be driving in this condition. I'm drunk, tired, guilty and blinded with self directed rage.i couldn't stop my mind from wandering to her. no matter how much I tired to stop, how much I wanted to stop, I couldn't.everything led back to her.every color reminded me of a shirt she had.every song she had sang.every friend was one of hers.she owned every aspect of my mind.

______ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

y/n was far from gorgeous in her own eyes.yes her friends often said she was beautiful and stunning but she never saw it. and even when she did think she looked cute even no man ever did, at least not one that wasn't family.no matter how much makeup she caked onto her face in the mornings, or how many skincare products burned through her childlike skin, she never had received a compliment from another guy.

because of this she never left the house without a full face of makeup on.if anyone dared to rush her through her 12 step makeup routine she would scream and cry till they left her alone.she couldn't be seen without it.she was also always putting herself in clothes that were meant to make her body "look good". Although it only worked occasionally she continued to wear them.short crop tops with her boobs hanging out the top and the tightest leggings known to man.Some would say she was a slut, others could tell she was just hurting.She wanted to be wanted.

this was her life style until she hit junior year of high school.she had gotten so tired of trying to be the most gorgeous girl by mens standards that she simply stopped.she threw away all her makeup and burned her slutty outfits to the ground.replacing them with large baggy jeans, hoodies and random tee shirt.she would barely style her hair anymore and only at special times wore mascara.she was the polar opposite of who she used to be.she didn't even know the girl she was before.

along with this major change in looks came a major change in mind.she now envied her friends even more.seeing them have guys hit on them and ask them out constantly made her livid.sometimes when she would go out with some her friends people would stop and stare.as if she was some sort of museum exhibit "complete ugly loser hanging out with pretty girls" and she was on display like a taxidermied shark.nobody really wondering who she is or what she does to look the way she does, just how the hell did she get here.

this jealousy soon turned into self isolation.she kept herself away from her friends.she was silent whenever she had to be around them in class.no longer being interested in drama or who asked out who that week.music playing in her ears with or without headphones.she no longer participated in conversations.only sitting there and half listening.she had become a shell of the girl she once was.and for some reason she enjoyed it.noboyd noticed her.she could dig a blade as deep into her skin as she wanted to and nobody would give a fuck.her tainted blood could drip down and stain the shirt she wore to school the next day and nobody would say anything.they wouldnt notice

Her friends didn't notice her silence.only thinking it was some strange phase she was going through because well, they were teenagers, things like this would happen.over time the loneliness became too much for her causing her to attempt to migrate back to her previous friend group.fortunately they accepted her back with open arms.

then, one fateful day in a boring science class.the teacher announced that they were switching their seats to lab tables now that they were halfway through the year girls who had sat together all year were understandably sad but nobody’s emotions compared to y/n's.she hadn't felt this nervous in a long time.and it felt disgusting.

her leg bounced up and down seeing as there were only 2 more lab tables left and her name, along with 7 others, hadn't been called. all her friends were already separated so she really had no chance. "ok lab table 5 is gonna be... anita, chris, y/n and Issac." the teacher announced.

her stomach dropped at the names.not one but two boys at her table.this was a nightmare for her .whenever she sat with boys in the past they were sure to make fun of her till she wanted to crawl into whatever shirt she was wearing and never come out.she grabbed her stuff and situated herself in the small chair. Chris across from her, Antia next to him and Issac next to y/n. she kept her head down, not wanting to even look any of these people in the eye.

"Alright so I know you guys have been sitting with completely different people the whole year so take the rest of the period to talk with the people you're with and get to know them." Ms.Kratsteen stated. Anita and Issac sparked up a conversation immediately. They most likely were friends before this.

Chris looked around awkwardly before breaking the silence between the two. "So y/n, you're pretty different from last year." he said, causing y/n to look up slowly. the look on her face almost saying 'wtf'. "not like in a bad way, you still look pretty cool." he backtracked.

"thanks?you look...well the same,"the flushed girl said.making herself let out a soft laugh.he laughed lightly along with her.

Once the laughter died down Chris spoke again"yeah, its harder to change your style as a guy then you would think" he chuckled at his own words.large hands moving to rub his chin momentarily.She couldn’t help but giggle at his words as well.not that it was all that funny but just simply because the way his thin pink lips maneuvered into a sly smile was one that made her all giddy.like butterflies were bubbling inside her stomach as she stared at him intently.this strange, unfamiliar feeling, felt nice.for the first time in a while,she felt nice.

“Hey, how about you come over to mine after school?you can give me some fashion tips” he said half jokingly, not fully expecting her to say yes.but to his surprise she agreed.it was hard to ignore how she blushed deeply, he could practically hear her heart beating out of her chest, or possibly that was his own beat he was listening to.

______ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

The mood of the room was calm.Chris and y/n took turns passing the pen to each other as they sat in the seemingly silent room.the soft sound of a random The Cure song played in their ears.the noise drifting in and over their heads while the room filled with smoke.

Y/n look over to her left on the bed at Chris, red hooded eyes drifting over to his relaxed body.no words came from her mouth although she wanted them to.her mouth was agape, words just at the brim of being uttered.but for reasons out of her control they stayed locked behind her teeth.refusing to spill over which only filled her head which curiosity as to what they could be.

Chris noticed her gaze after a moment.lowly lidded eyes locking with hers.his words came out fast.not stopping themselves at the brim like hers had. “I didn’t know you smoked…” he practically mumbled.

It took her a moment to gather what to say.she never really did, not often at least.due to this the amount of weed she was intaking at the moment made her all the more out of it then normal. “I…I don’t really…only when I’m sad…” she answered at the same volume of Chris’ voice.

The distance between them felt as if it was growing larger as she stared at him from the head of her bed.back lazily rested on a large pillow as he does the same on the other side of the bed.her hand practically moves in slow motion as she reaches to grab her soda from the nightstand.her body was slothily moving as she unscrewed the top and took a sip.letting the sugary drink sit in her mouth before swallowing.

It seemed as if in the blink of an eye Chris was closer to her.like he had teleported closer. “C’mere…” he said quietly under his breath.Yet somehow the words flowed right into her ears making them ring.

She set down her drink again and crawled over to him on the bed slowly.plopping her body down next to his after not very long seeing as they were very far apart anymore.without saying anything Chris took another hit of the pen.confusion etched on her face as she watched him.

Before she could form a coherent thought two of his slender fingers were on her chin.hypnotically pulling her closer making her lips part mindlessly.their open lips collided messily.hot smoke blowing into her mouth making her throat burn.she blew the smoke back out after holding it in her mouth again.

She stared at him somehow blankly.blinking as she tried to process what had happened, yet also slowly forgetting it completely. He stared back at her.not an ounce of nervousness available to him as he gazed into her sinking eyes.

“Again…” she uttered weakly.not exactly knowing where the words or let alone the thought came from to begin with.he chuckled lowly before doing as she said.pulling her close and placing his lips on hers again.their tongues slowly fought for dominance, messy spit pooling together as their eyes closed, all the while deepening the needy kiss.

They were friends, nothing more.honestly it had never been a realistic thought to be anything more.but right now she felt like she had been with him for years.like she had seen every part of him.as if she knew every story he had to tell. She felt like she loved him.

______ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

Chris and y/n laid in bed somberly.they weren't necessarily going to sleep but it was definitely calm.y/n was slightly tapped into a random movie on his tv while he sat on his side scrolling through his phone mindlessly.

It was a nice summer night.the room they were in was extremely stuffy causing y/n to not wear a hoodie like she normally does at night.leaving her scars out In the open.she didn't mind that chris could see her scars as she knew he wouldn't mention them.sometimes she questioned if he even noticed them.she had never caught him stealing glances at them or looking at them with fascination like she had with others.and I mean yea chris could be a bit of a space cadet at times but he wasn't completely braindead.

yet the question lingered in her mind.was that the only reason he had stayed with her so long. cause he didn't think she had gone that far?if he found out, would he be disgusted? as these thoughts raced through her mind a mile a minute she found herself simultaneously pulling the blanket over her wrists.

chris, unlike she had thought, noticed this.he noticed everything about her.he noticed how her face wrinkles like a cat everytime she about to sneeze.and how she ties her shoes into butterfly's cause it's cuter.or how she knows where everyone one of her stuffed animals came from.and unfortunately for y/n, he noticed this small action.it was one so small, so miniscule, that anyone else could have and would have  missed it.but not him.not when it came down to her.

he knew what she was covering.it hurt him to know why she was pulling the blanket over herself and why her face suddenly seemed to have changed ever so slightly.he sat up lazily to be at her level. "baby..." he mumbled.the words felt strange as they ringed in her ears.it was the first time he had ever called her any type of pet name as he stated many times he hated names like that.

she turned her head to him attentively. "what's up?" she tired to act nonchalant even though she was internally fucking dying at the name he had called her in his low, stuffy, tired voice.her eyes scanned over his face for the millionth time.never being able to get fully used to the beauty he held.he could say the same about her with ease, yet he never would, not unprovoked at least.

The next words weren’t what she had expected.she thought he would want to change the movie or that he wants to go to sleep. He sputtered for a moment, trying to find the right words before speaking up. “They don’t bother me, you're beautiful to me no matter what” was all he said.no more, no less, it was perfect.just like every other word he had ever had the privilege of saying to her.

______ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

her resting was peaceful as she lay in her boyfriends arms.it was the morning of her birthday but it was still fairly early for her,8:00 to be exact.soft breaths came in and out of her nose sequentially as her resting eyelids stayed shut.the tranquility she felt was unmatched as she slept.

chris on the other had wasn't as much of a peaceful sleeper.he was practically snoring in her ear as his head rested messily in the crook of her neck that had stayed open through the night, unmoving, subconsciously scared to wake chris up.his legs were sprawled out as the only thing in order were his arms around her.despite the disheveled state he was in he was calm, something which was rare for him.

this moment. one so delicate that it should be treated as porcelain, was dropped from a 1,000 foot tall building as his brothers came barging into the room with a large camera and smiling faces. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!' they shouted in unison, causing y/n to shoot up from her sleep startled, leaving a confused and sleepy chris to roll over onto his back, rubbing his eye as he tried to figure out what the hell was going on.

once her eyes adjusted to the sight in front of her she grumble a quick "what..." as she had totally forgotten it was he birthday.she didn't even bother to fix her messed up hair or the chaoticness of her outfit as she was right on camera.a small part of her knew this would be on YouTube later that night but was far too tired to do anything about it.

"Happy birthday!" Nick shouted again from behind the camera.now reminding y/n what day it was.she yawned before looking over to chris next to her.he was sleepily grinning ear to ear as he was happy his brothers were celebrating her as well.

Before she could think Nick was grabbing her by the hand and pulling her into the kitchen, passing the camera to Matt somewhere along the way as he led her up the stairs to the island in the middle of the kitchen.chris was groggily following behind.

her eyes lit up as she saw the cake they had bought for her.it was custom made to have pictures of her and her friends on the top and all sorts of things that she liked on the sides such as her favorite artists, books and movie.the cake was y/f/c and large and heart shaped.it was perfectly adorned with a white frosting edge and must've cost at least $200.

she picked her head up, tears in her eyes as she looked at her three favorite people surrounding her. Matt smiled cheekily from behind the camera before speaking up. "Do you like it?" he asked even though the answer was obvious.

"i...I love it..." she practically whispered before noticing chris walking off back to his room.she didn't question it as maybe he wanted to fix his hair or put on a shirt on for the camera.while they waited for chris to come back she hugged the two brothers who watched her gleaming face with pride.before she could notice nick pulled a bag from behind the island

He held the pink bag out to her. "here" he said with a grin on his face.she took the bag and set it on the table and took out the tissue paper.her smile lit up even more if it was even possible as she picked up the gift.it was a small collage book.she only grew happier as she flipped through the pages.they were filled with nothing but amazing memories from her entire life.it was impossible to not cringe and laugh as she found middle school photos. showing them to the camera as they all laughed.

It was strange how Chris hadn't come back yet but she assumed he was doing something important down there.matt set the camera down on its stand as he grabbed his gift from his side.setting the black and white bag on the table in front of her. she smiled at him before opening the bag and pulling out the penguin stuffed animal he had gotten her.it was tiny and super soft an the perfect thing for her desk.she took a look at the tag and saw that the plushie had a name tag.slipping over the name tag she saw the penguin had the same name as her.

she looked up with a warm smile. "thanks matt" she hugged him sweetly before nothing chris coming up the stairs again.his arms were held behind his back as he walked up to her.once he stood in front of her he pulled out a sleek black and gold box from behind him.her eyes trailed over the box anxiously as she could tell from just the box that whatever it was was expensive.

She shakily took the box from his hand and opened it to find a silver ring.it was simple and had small diamonds on the sides of it.she put her hand over her mouth in disbelief as she looked at the ring. "I'm not proposing or nothin’...just a promise ring" chris said as he watched her stare at the ring in awe.without saying anything she set it down and hugged him passionately.

"Thank you baby..." she whispered into his neck.although he hated corny pet names he didn't protest.only hugging her back with a smile on his face.simply happy he could make her this happy.

Reader ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

His dick sprung lit of his pants as i pulled down his boxers.everything moving so lustfully slow yet hungrily fast at once.the world was spinning around us and I was so here for it.i wasted no time working my mouths way down to his cock.i didn’t hesitate to deep throat him.his length not fully registering in my head until they had connected.gagging almost immediately. He was bigger than Chris that was for sure.

I bobbed my head up and down quicker each time I came up.air was secondary to his pleasure.his hands somehow found their way to my head and began to touch me down further on his cock. Beautiful moans and whines escaped his pink lips. I looked up at him through my lashes to the best of my abilities and he looked gorgeous.hooded eyes looking as desperate as ever.i loved it.i wanted to soak up all of his being.

His beauty made me work faster.i felt my pussy ache for some sort of attention but I couldn’t bother.i was so locked on his face that my own pleasure was trivial.without warning Matt let out an estranged moan as he came down my throat.not even giving me an option to spit.

Before I could think for myself Matt sat up and grabbed me, bringing us to his bed in order to be more comfortable. Without words he liked his cock up with my soft entrance and pushed into me.a loud moan eliciting from my throat as he did so.he large man began to move fast and hard.having no mercy against me and my sensitive body.

My moans were utterly uncontrollable.only getting louder by the second.thank God nobody else was home. “You love this cock.don’t you slut?” He spat. The temporary pleasure was overwhelming to say the least.I felt so euphoric yet so dazed at once. my body couldn't seem to choose whether to moan out my pleasure or let it all rush to my brain which was already beginning to become fuzzy. "answer me." he sternly commanded.

I felt my body get hotter by the second as I tried answering him. "yes..I love it..so much.."I sputtered out. my eyes rolled back as he continued to drill into me relentlessly.my eyes that refused to open fully rolled into the back of my head as he kept the same fast rough pace, tattooed arms holding my hips in place in a way so brutal that I feared he would crush them.

Chris ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

time felt as if it had skipped as I was suddenly home in the blink of an eye.lost in my thoughts of her, only her.i huffed as I opened the front door.stumbling into my house cause the alcohol was very much still in my system.my struggling emotions were sobering me up somewhat but that didn't help my sluggish movement.

once I had hobbled over to the island that lay in the center of the kitchen I put my head in my hands.leaning over the counter with pure exhaustion.i let out a deep sigh.i had fucked up, bad.i cheated on the only girl i've ever truly loved, the only girl to ever truly love me back.what the hell was i thinking?

Slowly i pick my body up.walking over to the fridge to grab some sort of drink.for the first time in my life i wouldn't mind drinking water if it meant getting the foul taste of the blonde from earlier out of my mouth.luckily for me there was some lemonade left which i quickly grabbed a can on and sung my head back to drink.desperate for some sort of way to wash this feeling off myself.

I set the metal can down on the counter with a clink. letting out a breath i hadn't known i was holding in.my gray hoodie which was lined with fur on the inside suddenly felt suffocating.like as if i couldn't breathe with it on.but i didn't remove it as it was the closest thing to comfort i had right now.my eye rake over to the front door where i see matts keyes sitting on the holder.

Without a second thought I turned my body and head to Matt's room.not fully noticing the loud music.he would know what to do, how to handle this.even if he didn't i really just needed my older brother right now.

My hands were steady as they gripped the doorknob.opening his creaky white door slowly due to me still being absolutely wasted.i kept my head down.afraid to look him in the eye while i explained what i had done out of shame.

Reader ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

my body felt like it was going to go into overdrive as he kept his riotous pace the whole time, not slowing down to give me a moment to breathe once. "hey matt I really fucked up and-" chris started as he opened the door, looking for comfort from his brother for something.matt who was still high as ever didn't even notice this

I hear the creak of the door and immediately attempt to freeze. “Shit…Matt stop— oh fuck…mph.” I babble in attempt to get him to stop.i weakly prop myself up on my elbows to see who it was.through the bliss of getting fucked dumb I could see it was Chris standing in the doorway.despite what I was aware him doing I felt awful he had to see this.I continue to try and pry matt out of me. “Matt stop…Chris’ here.” I slur as the weight of the situation slowly sobers me up.

I watch as Matt pulls out of me hesitantly and turns to look at Chris. I'm the doorway.I knew it was the weed making him act so nonchalant.if we were sober he would’ve jumped out of his skin at the slightest sound of the door creaking. “Oh shittt” he muttered as he lay next to me, propped up on his elbows.I hadn't even noticed he crashed down next to me

“What the fuck…”Chris uttered under his alcohol infused breath.the gleam of the purple lights mixed with the effects of the weed were making it hard me to make out the details of what exactly was in-front of me but I swear I could see his eyes well with tears.

𝘞𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘉𝘺 𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘶𝘷𝘴𝘹™

[daddycassie]

Volunteering for Lucy Gray Baird

note: trying the scenarios format because I’m obsessed with this woman and I used to write this way and did way better, so let me know what you like better!

🎶🕊️~ Lucy Gray wasn’t shocked when her name was called. Disturbed? Yes. But not shocked.

~ She’d been making her way to the front when she heard a familiar voice coupled with unfamiliar words. “I volunteer!”

~ You had to say it a few times to be heard on the stage, but Lucy Gray heard you loud and clear.

~The look she gave you, you’d have thought you rigged the reaping yourself.

~ Her eyes welled up as you approached the stage. She’d grab your arm, squeezing your sleeve with shaky fingers.

~ “Don’t do this.” Lucy Gray began, but you tugged away from her and walked away. You couldn’t look at your friend’s face when she cried. You were afraid Lucy Gray would convince you not to go anywhere, to let her go instead.

~You refused to look at her the whole time Jessup was reaped to go alongside you, but you could hear Lucy Gray crying.

~When you were escorted out you spared her a final look, you did love her after all.

~Lucy Gray was looking right back, you should’ve expected as much. Her brown eyes were fiery with emotion, you thought maybe she was angry.

~It didn’t take long for you to get the message. Survive this you damn fool. You could hear her saying it and that’s what you told yourself the whole train ride.

~When you got there you were greeted by a blonde boy who offered you a white rose. You narrow your eyes at it. “Let me guess, that’s for Jessup?”

~He didn’t have a good sense of humor to say the least, but he was determined, jumping into cage after cage after you and visiting you.

~You found his name to be Coriolanus Snow, but never referred to him as such, “snowflake” or “baby girl” seemed more fitting somehow. (Coryo did not agree)

~Didn’t take long for the games to begin, Lucy Gray didn’t have the heart to train with any weapon, but you sure did.

~Getting your hands on a sword was easy aside from Reaper throwing himself at you.

~You felt bad when Jessup was lost to the bloodbath, but that was remedied enough when you killed the boy who did it.

~There was one person you became allies with, little Wovey. You thought Lucy Gray would like her.

~You didn’t talk to her much, mostly dragged her along with you. Not that she needed any convincing.

~She was a great climber though! She could easily climb up into the stands, while you needed her help.

~When the snakes came, you and Wovey happened to have come down to take part in the fighting that was happening.

~She was gone so fast you had no time to mourn her, only running. Run. Run. Run.

~Reaper made no move to escape, but you heard Mizzen die rather loudly. Coral ran behind you as you scaled debris, remembering as many of Wovey’s tactics as possible.

~Coral calling for help was all you could hear, but, well… if you pushed her off then the games would end before the snakes ever reached you, right?

~It did not.

~You lay completely still, not even making an attempt to breathe as they slithered over you. You wondered if Lucy Gray was watching. If you were the only person left, why weren’t you being let out?

~It took a while, but your winning was announced.

~Everything else was a blur as you were delivered back home.

~Lucy Gray had waited for you at the train station for hours, without even knowing if the winner was you.

~She saw you first, and tackled you to the ground in a hug.

~Lucy Gray would cry a lot. “I thought I’d never see you again.” “Don’t ever do that again.” “I love you so much.”

~Your brain lagged over her words before you understood and clutched her desperately to your chest. “I love you too, so much.”

~She thought you deserved to be slapped, but instead she kissed you. Lucy Gray’s lips are dry, but warm. She’d probably forgotten to take a drink once in a while.

~The peacekeepers kicked you out of the train station, but that was fine, you two preferred to celebrate somewhere more private anyway.

~You lay next to Lucy Gray in her bed while she admired every detail of your face, her fingers trailing over your skin lovingly.

~She’d sing to you, hold you, kiss you, tell you how much she loved you.

~Lucy Gray falls asleep first anyway, and you hold her till you fall asleep too.

~It’s the hardest you’ve ever slept in your whole life.

Authors note: I debated between Y/n just dying or actually living but decided I needed to write more. If anyone wants a bad ending let me know. 👹

Also, I’m now taking requests for Lucy Gray because she’s the loml and I need more ideas for scenarios.

[ateriblewriter]

"You can't just lose your temper like this every time you get a little bit upset!" With Luke Hughes please

😊 I hope this is okay, i feel as though i could have done better. its kinda messy. idk. sorry. first time really writing for luke. it's longer than the others blurbs for the celly but I was challenging myself. 😅

A Broken Glass

he was supposed to be better this season. better than the child he felt he was in the few games he played in at the end of the prior season. he made sure to put in the work over the summer, improving upon an already impressive skill set. but it still wasn't good enough.

luke was having a bit of a hard time recently, making mistakes that were in his words stupid and should never have happened. getting himself into trouble on the ice, uncharacteristic actions set off by the littlest things. he had been putting a lot of pressure on himself and instead of being better he was getting worse.

everything came to a head on a tuesday evening after the devils had lost again and luke gave another lackluster performance. once again on the brink of being benched for someone else who could perform at the caliber they were looking for.

jack had decided to seek the comfort of another human being, having gone over to their place for the evening. this left the whole place to just you and luke. which was great because you finally wanted to pick your boyfriends mind about how he was feeling about everything recently.

“are you okay?” you inquire watching him.

"i'm fine." he scowled.

"do you want to talk about it?" you ask starting to ramble. of course you didn't believe him and just because he shut you down right away didn't mean you were going to stop trying to get him to say more than a few words to you. "because you really should at some point. im worried about you. you don't even have to talk to me. is it the team? is it something im doing? is it-"

"just go away." luke interrupted you. he was so in his head, he didn't notice the glass he had been holding, slip from his hand and crashing to the ground. luke wasn't necessarily mad. he was mainly just frustrated with his situation and really didn't like talking about it. the way he showed it may not have been the best way.

you're too shocked for words at the glass on the floor, opting to crouch down to clean up the little pieces of glass from the broken cup instead of using your words. you tried to be as careful as you but while brushing the tiny bits together with the back of your hand, a little piece embedded itself in between you index finger and middle, causing it to bleed a lot.

you could feel luke rolling his eyes, frustration still radiating off of him. he was looking for an argument. you heard him mumbling something but couldn't really tell what was said.

"what was that? you need to speak up."

"i said that you don't understand the pressure i am under. i am supposed to be better. and i'm not. you wouldn't understand that. I'm not like you I just don't give up on my dreams."

"that's not true and you know it." you clench your teeth together, trying your hardest not to give into what he wanted, a fight. because luke knew you were an athlete and that you had big dreams of making it big. only to have them crushed by a devastating injury, that led you to pursue other dreams.

"you know what? call me when you want to actually talk and not start a fight." you grab your set of house keys to leave, the small cut in between your fingers still dripping little droplets of red stuff on the floor. you didn't want to be around him if he was going to act like that.

you didn’t go far that night. instead of going somewhere like a bar, you opted to go over to the neighboring apartment. where it just so happened that your best friend, since moving to jersey, lived. Of course she wasn’t home, but you still had a key and helped yourself to her couch for the rest of the night.

it wasn’t until the next morning that you started getting messages from jack. you hadn’t intended on responding to him but he seemed instant on talking, worried about his little brother and the girl who had become like a sister to him.

jack- where are you

jack- why is there glass on the floor and is that blood

jack- what happened dot

y/n- ask your brother

jack- he said you left

jack- what’s going on

you could have responded more to jack or you could just walked the few feet home and talk to him yourself. the later would most likely include seeing luke. you knew you'd have to talk to him eventually, why not rip the band-aid off now.

jack practically tackled you when you re-entered the apartment and luke was no where to be seen at that time. once he let you go, you told him all about what had happened the night before. he tried to reassure you that his brother was an idiot and that he didn't mean what he said.

"y/n? can we talk?” nodding you guide him over to the couch. "i'm sorry about last night. i shouldn't have said that. it wasn't nice."

"i know luke. but you can't just lose your temper like that every time your get a little bit upset." you cradled his head in your lap. you ran your fingers through the longer curls. "they are going to keep eating you alive if you do. and it'll only get worse."

"i know. it's just." it was hard for him to be this vulnerable, especially with you. but if he wanted to get past this bump in the road he was going to need to at times. "everyone is comparing me to them. and i try and be like them and im not."

"exactly. you're not like your brothers. you're luke. not quinn. not jack. you are luke. you need to play like luke. you need to be luke."

“how do i do that?” he turned his face to look up at yours. he still regretted his words and decisions from the night before. but he needed to find a way to find himself again and stop comparing himself to his family.

“i don’t know exactly lu. but we’ll figure it out together yeah?” you boop the tip of his nose with your finger eliciting a slight smirk and a head nod from him.

[dirtysvthoughts]

𝓟 𝓡 𝓘 𝓥 𝓐 𝓣 𝓔 𝓓 𝓐 𝓝 𝓒 𝓔 𝓡 - CHAPTER TWO

pairing: model! minghao x stripper! reader

word count: 1.5k

general tags/warnings: smut, pwp, female! reader, hao’s sorta kinda a regular customer, soft dom! minghao, steamy/intense makeout session, super/mullet minghao inspired, partial nudity, vip room sex, slight use of pet names (doll, masterpiece, baby), aaand i think that’s it

playlist songs: adorn - miguel, mushroom chocolate - quin & 6lack, anime girls - melli

notes: thank y’all for the love on pd so far! i’m getting notifs nonstop and that makes me really happy :’) hope you enjoy this week’s chapter!

taglist: @im-gemmy , @enhacolor, @hooniewnderland , @svtup , @kawaiikels @weeevrse @diorsfxck @kyexvly @woozarts @ifuckcheol (let me know if you would like to be added to the taglist)

you apply the finishing touches to your makeup, admiring how you looked in your silver sequined two-piece set and matching seven inch heels. to your surprise, you could already hear the loud atmosphere from the dressing room - and it wasn’t even 11 o’clock yet.

“it’s gonna be a good night,” you think to yourself, smiling to yourself at the thought of you covered in hundred dollar bills.

before you head out, you scroll through your phone one last time, looking at your social media feeds. double tapping on a friend’s post, you see a notification appear at the top of your screen.

minghao: hey, are you working tonight? i’m back in town for a show, but i need to relax and see you 😩

you bite down on your lip, your eyes rereading the message and your brain taking in every word. minghao is a famous model, somewhere in the world he was always in a show, walking the runway for all of the luxury brands. his handsome looks and his insanely gorgeous figure made him the it-boy every designer and photographer dreamed of.

you first met minghao at the club a few months ago, when he came for a magazine shoot and his friends decided to take him out. the second you laid eyes on each other as you were walking around the main floor, he took you by the hand and soon you were dancing for him in front of everyone. it didn’t take long to convince minghao about getting a room, your body clenching around nothing as you think about how big and hard he was in those jeans when you started to grind on him, thanking the heavens that your outfit made it possible to feel everything.

😈: hao! yeah, i’m gonna be working tonight. pay for a room as soon as you get here and i’ll be waiting 😏

minghao: i’ll try and get there within the hour. see you soon babe ❤️

you quickly toss your phone to the side when you hear your name being called, realizing that you would just have to kill some time before you got your main event.

——

as soon as they get through the doors (an hour later like he said), minghao walks in with his entourage, his dress shirt buttons deliciously exposing some of his toned chest, and his black distressed jeans accenting his legs. met with some screams, he greets his crowd as his people make sure he’s given enough space.

the music has switched a bit, and more sultry, intimate tunes fill the building. your hips rotating in rhythm as mushroom chocolate’s chorus comes on, playing with the straps of your top as you flirt with the customer in front of you.

so immersed in your own world, you don’t even realize that minghao has finally spotted you and approaches your space, sitting down a few inches away from your audience. your eyes for a split second reveal your shock and surprise, and minghao can’t help the smirk that crawls on his face.

“did you think i wouldn’t show up? i’m hurt, my pretty little doll. you know i’m a man of my word.” you stop dancing and walk towards him, gingerly sitting his lap, both your legs on opposite sides of his.

“mmm, trust me, i know you are, you know it’s just been a minute since i’ve seen you hao.. you look different,” you trail off, eyes wandering all over his body. did his muscles get bigger or something?

“good different or bad different?” he asks.

but before you can respond, someone clears their throat. the person sitting across from you and minghao stares in disbelief. right… you still had someone to “take care” of. you sigh, kind of wishing that you had gone straight to a room so your time with minghao would’ve been interruption-free.

“give me a sec, hao,” you say crawling off his lap, missing the contact and approaching the other customer. “i’m sorry, but it looks like i have to cut this short,” you say feigning a fake disappointment. “but, if you decide to wait for me, i can guarantee it’ll be worth the wait,” you say taking the cash on the floor, bending over in front of the two, teasing them. obviously you don’t notice, but minghao bites his lip at the sight, hoping that he would get to see that again in the next few minutes.

when you’re done, you take him by the hand and the lead the way up the stairs to the vip rooms. you stop at the first empty one you see, brushing the curtains away as he lets go of your hand to face you.

“you never answered my question, y’know,” he says staring directly into your eyes. you stare back at him a little confused, already forgetting what he had said earlier.

he laughs, “wow, you forgot already? what’s going on doll?”

“nothing,” you say chuckling back at him, “i just, have a lot on my mind now.. and it’s mostly you..”

“oh? care to tell me more?” he says, putting his hand on your waist, bringing you closer to him.

“i guess to answer your question, it’s a good different… you’re always hot, but tonight, hao? you’re fucking irresistible,” you swipe your tongue across your lips, biting down on your skin.

“really now?” he smiles, his lips inches away from yours. but before you can say anything else, his mouth crashes on your soft, pillowy lips, trying to take in as much as he could of you.

you put your arms around his neck, trying to bring him in closer as you match his energy and enthusiasm. minghao’s hands begin to roam your body, especially your breasts. he couldn’t help but admire how temptingly delicious they looked in your bra piece. you moan into his touch at every little trace and brush, craving for more.

“mm, minghao!” you whimper when he get adventurous and delicately touches your crotch, and you clench yet again around nothing. you continue to moan out his name in bliss and neediness, but after a minute, an idea pops in your head.

“m-minghao, you wanna take this to the couch?” you say trying to snap him out of his daze for a second.

without another word, he sweeps you off your feet and carries you to the couch, your mouths still on each others. when he finally feels his legs against the edge of the furniture, he sits down, placing you on his lap.

not wanting to wait any longer, minghao takes off your bra, slowly revealing the top half of your body. he hisses at the sight, nearly groaning out at how the colorful lights in the room added to the glow that covered your body.

“you’re such a masterpiece,” he says as he once again guides his hands toward your body, this time paying extra attention to you chest.

while he was focused on that, you took to the opportunity to unbutton his jeans and pull his zipper down. he realizes where you wanted to go, and helps you get them, as well as his boxers off. once they both pool at his ankles, you smile when you can finally get to what you want after all the foreplay.

as you sink down on him, you both let out a loud moan feeling of being inside each other. “g-god, fuck,” you whisper into his ears clawing down his back, pressing into his chest. even though the music has long been forgotten to you, somehow your hips naturally grind to the rhythm. minghao notices and takes hold of your waist, guiding them in the right places. “god, you feel so good, baby,” he groans.

slowly but surely, you begin to feel a good pressure build in your core, your whimpering getting more frantic. “ahhh shit, shit, minghao, m-minghao,” you begin to move faster wanting to release all over him. and when he hits the right spot in you, you can no longer hold back, and you nearly scream, coming all over the lower half of his body.

you try and catch your breath, not wanting to come down from your high, but remembering you still had a job to do. “fuck, i needa go back downstairs soon,” you say getting up to find your bra top.

“do you have to go back now?” he asks, pulling his boxers and pants back up.

“well, not right this second,” you respond fastening your straps. “did you wanna stay a little longer?” you smile sweetly.

“yeah,” he says leaning back on the couch, returning your sultry gaze. “haven’t seen you dance for me in awhile,” he plams himself over his pants, already getting worked up at the memory.

you walk towards the pole, your arm holding onto the pole. “then minghao, be prepared for a dance you’ll never ever want to forget,” you say hooking your legs to spin on the pole.

[svntxnc]

A Chance Taken, A Heart Broken

W/C : 1.3k words (I’m proud of this idc!)

Warnings : swearing, mentions of using and cheating

Pairing: Actor!mark x Actor!reader

Summary: giving your bestfriend mark a chance.. BUT THERES MOREEE

[ MONDAY, JUNE 12TH 9:37 PM ]

“take a chance with me. sounds risky, I know but please even consider it.” the words came out of his mouth. seeming hopeful but yet, unsure? you stare at him in shock, just standing there. in some random field that he ’spontaneously’ took you to, the winds were blowing through your hair as he stands there, waiting for a response.

“I like risks.” the words came out of your mouth almost like it was nothing, keyword : ’almost’. that was a lie. you were terrified of giving him a chance. you weren’t sure if you could give him a chance considering that you know how he acted his past relationships. well, you were his best friend for almost what? 7 years? and unluckily enough, you’ve sadly fallen for him for those exact 7 years. sounds stupid to hope and wait for someone for that long but hey, cant blame someone for being In love. even if its ridiculous.

[ TUESDAY, JUNE 20, 8:45 PM ]

It’s been a few days since you’ve given mark a chance. “lets go out tomorrow?” he said while hugging you tightly “alright.” you said confidently. that’s how you got here in the first place, in a Restaurant. waiting for him patiently while knowing deep down. that he wasn’t coming at all.

[ 9:21 PM ]

You got tired of waiting, ’weird considering that you waited 7 years for him and cant spare a few hours to wait for him to arrive’, the voice in your head states. they weren’t wrong. maybe I was just idiotic to give him a chance in the first place? will he change? is he just playing with me? questions of uncertainty filled your head as you left the Restaurant. walking out the doors, you spot a familiar face, it was mark.

“hey.” he says as he slowly approaches you “I know I’m late but. can I make it up to you?” he says as you look at him strangely “for two hours, yeah you were.” you replied as he looks at the ground “I know, and I’m sorry” he replied “what.. took you so long?” you ask, feeling nervous about what his response would be, you had a prediction but you shouldn’t assume things, it’d be rude if you did, right? “uh.. stuff” he replies with guilt and nervousness splattered all over his face. as you nod, feeling assured for a moment, until you notice something on his neck, it was a fucking hickey, you pretend not to notice as you both went on with your ’date’

[ WEDNESDAY, JUNE 28TH, 11:34 AM ]

He was on his phone, laughing while texting someone. ’its just his friends’ you assured yourself, knowing damn well that he couldn’t. you sit next to him, sounds of his phones keyboard, him laughing and the rain outside. you sit there and think ’how did it even last this long?’ as he shortly looks at you and scoffs “I have to go somewhere” he says as he stands up, sounding unsure, you nod quietly as he leaves the room, “happy birthday to me, I guess” you say bitterly as you got your phone out to message your friend about going out today, spoiler alert: they cant.

so as any logical, idiotic person would do, you went out by yourself. I mean, what else could you do? as you were walking around the mall, you spotted a coffee shop that you loved. and with our luck! guess which two bitches are in there together? you looked at them, spending time together, laughing together, genuinely having fun. and if you aren’t caught up yet, it was mark and your best friend. “happy birthday to me” you whisper bitterly as you move and leave the front of the coffee shop and pretend nothing happened, you wouldn’t wanna ruin anything right? you were dating someone that you’ve liked for aged now and she was the bestest friend you could ever ask for. who would wanna ruin that? I mean its just something that may leave a scar on your life but, hey, scars heal. overtime right?

[ THURSDAY, JULY 6TH, 2:24 PM ]

you and mark decided to go back to where you both first met, sounds cheesy, I’m aware. but there’s nothing wrong with looking back at the past every now and then right?.. right?

“tada!” he says as he removes the blindfold on your eyes, feeling very proud of what he thought of for a date, “this place hasn’t changed a bit” you mumble as you look around “right? it’s great! everything’s still as it was” he says enthusiastically as you nod, you enjoyed walking around, playing around and visiting old friends but.. looking back made you think that, was it really for the best that you both got together? yes you’ve liked him for.. a long amount of time but, was risking your friendship really worth it? you knew that things wouldn’t be the same but, it was a pretty drastic change, a million thoughts went over your mind as he taps your shoulder “you okay?” he asks as he kisses your cheek and gives you an ice cream as you nod, that’s when you decided, you would never step a foot in this place again.

[ FRIDAY, JULY 14TH, 10:45 PM ]

It’s been a whole month and one 2 days 1 hour and 8 minutes but, whose counting? you walk into his apartment silently, not making any noise cause you wanted to suprise him! you walk in as he’s gaming with friends, not noticing your arrival. “her? what about her?” he says as your curiosity grows “oh uh, I’m kinda just using her to get her bestfriend? its been working, she’s clueless.” he says as he scoffs, your heart shatters in pieces. as you pretend not to hear and re enter the room and call him, his blood turns cold as he looks at you panicked, “hey! just a question? did you hear what I said?” he asks nervously “no, what was it?” you say, pretending not to know cause again, why would you wanna ruin this? “ah, it was nothing. wanna come play?” he says as he changes the subject and gives you a controller, you grab the controller and begin to play and look at him shortly, “mark lee, you’re losing me” you mumble under your breath and luckily enough he didn’t hear you.

[ SATURDAY, JULY 22ND, 2:22 AM ]

“lets just call it quits then, I was only using you anyways.” he snaps as you look at him “didn’t expect it from me huh?” mark says as he scoffs. “I knew mark I’ve known” you snap back, “why didn’t you..” he says confused, “cause I had everything that I wanted, I had you, I had my best friend, I had everything that I wanted.” “I’ve wanted you for the past 7 years.” you say. and what other than rain could’ve suited the situation more? he looks at you in shock as it starts pouring “I..I’m sorry” he says as the rain slowly grows. “I’m sure you are” you say back as you walk away from him, whose slowly regretting everything he’d done to you.

“.. and that’s a wrap!” the director praises you both as the movie that you and your co-star, lee minhyung has been acting in they stop recording and you and him are thanking everyone.

as you were about to leave the set, he follows after you and yells your name “hey!” he says as you stop in your tracks and look at him as he finally catches up to you “what’s up?” you ask him as you pat his back “thanks for stopping” he says awkwardly as he catches his breath as he stands next to you, “can we talk? like remain friends even after the movie is done and hear me out-” he says as you cut him off “of course we can! I would say that we’re close friends already” you reply as you smile at him “not like that” he says as he chuckles and pulls you closer as you look at him shocked, “think we could give mark and her the ending they should’ve got?” he says as he smiles at you.

[askbensolo]

Journal Entry #56: Birthday Party

I wasn’t planning anything for my birthday. But someone else was, and that someone else was Poe Dameron, and that something was inviting over my best buddies behind my back.

I came home from work around five-thirty. I did think something seemed a little off, ’cause I heard laughing inside the apartment, and then a bunch of shushing, and I was like, oh, great, Poe has “company” over, I’ll just change into my not-work clothes and make a sandwich and go hang out somewhere else—

—and then I opened the door, and Treeso and Amalia were there, along with Poe and Beebee-Ate, and they all shouted “Surprise!”

And, I was very much surprised indeed.

“Oh my gosh!” I said, or something like that—I’m not really sure what I said—and Treeso and I bro-hugged, and Amalia nodded and smirked at me, and Beebee-Ate started playing a little beepy birthday tune while Poe clapped me on the back.

I was shocked to see all three of ‘em in one place—Amalia, Treeso, and Poe. They don’t know each other. They’re all kind of from different times and places in my life—from my time at Luke’s school, from my college days, from my post-grad era. But I guess Poe figured out who all my best friends were and how to contact them, and here they all were now, and I had just been planning to be alone all night and pack for my move…but I guess it was more fun this way, hanging out with my buds on my birthday.

They all had fun, too. Roasting me and swapping embarrassing stories about me and generally giving me a hard time seemed to be the main event of the evening.

What can I say? I’m just that great at bringing people together.

The most interesting moment occurred when I was blowing out my candles. Poe and Treeso insisted on having exactly twenty-four candles on the cake, even though Amalia called them both idiots and said they were gonna burn the place down. But Poe and Treeso together proved to be an unstoppable force of unhinged chaos, so, twenty-four candles it was.

“Let’s all wish for Ben to go on his first date before he turns twenty-five!” said Treeso, clapping his hands.

“What’re you talking about? He’s already got a girlfriend,” said Poe, lighting the last candle.

“Not anymore—they broke up,” said Amalia, tipping back a bottle of beer.

And then they all looked at me.

“Bro, you got a girlfriend?” asked Treeso, stunned.

“You broke up with her?” asked Poe, surprised.

Amalia just looked at me and dipped her finger into the side of the cake and licked the frosting off of it without breaking eye contact.

“Had a girlfriend. Don’t have one anymore. Story’s over. Cake! Now,” I said, and blew out all the candles, and grabbed the cake cutter.

“Dude, you never tell me anything!” complained Treeso.

“I live with him and he never tells me anything,” remarked Poe.

“Stalk him online. It’s the only way,” advised Amalia.

Poe took the cake cutter and started cutting two slices (one of them was for Beebee-Ate, so he would “feel included”). “Well,” he said, “if I had known you guys were broken up, I sure wouldn’t have invited her.”

I choked on my cake. “Wait—what—is she coming?”

And, for a second, I was terrified. But, two seconds later, I felt this intensely powerful ache of hope—that I might see her again, that she’d be at the door, that the daydream I’d been having over and over might come at least a little bit true.

Amalia looked at me, and then looked at Poe. Poe looked at Amalia, and then at me. Treeso looked at the slice of cake he was cutting that was almost like a whole fourth of the cake. Beebee-Ate looked at all of us, his head swiveling around.

“Uh…no,” Poe said. “She’s…she’s not coming.”

“But—are you just saying that, or is she actually not coming?” I demanded, my heart pounding. “If…if she was…already on her way, or something, I—I don’t want you to tell her not to come—”

“Ben, she’s not coming,” Amalia confirmed. “I messaged her this morning. She’s still on Ryloth.”

I turned to look at her. “Why’d you message her?” I asked.

Amalia shrugged. “Wanted to check on her. It’s your birthday. Thought it might be hard for her. Didn’t know if you two had plans together, or something, before the breakup.”

“I didn’t think you two were friends,” I said, kind of surprised.

“Why not?” Amalia shrugged. “I can be nice. Sometimes.” She started cutting her own slice of cake. “But, you’re right—it’s easier for me and her to be friends, now that you and her aren’t together.”

“Well…glad it was good for someone, at least,” I said bitterly. And, suddenly, the cake didn’t taste so great anymore.

“Uh…sorry,” I muttered. “I’ll…I’ll be right back.”

I pretended to go to the bathroom. But really, I just sat on my bed in the dark, and tried to very politely ask the sinking weight in my chest to leave, so I could do my best to enjoy my birthday and the fact that all my friends were here.

Well. Not all of them.

The sinking weight swelled up in my stomach, and reached yearningly down toward my toes.

I found myself tugging at the friendship bracelet around my left wrist, feeling the warp and weft between my forefinger and thumb. The colored threads were becoming muddy with dirt because I tugged on it a lot these days. I blinked rapidly, trying to keep my tears at bay. It wasn’t bedtime yet—the tears would have to wait. I swallowed really hard a couple of times but I couldn’t really get the lump in my throat to go away.

…What are you doing, dear?

“Thinking about you,” I whispered under my breath. “Like always.”

My. You do think about me a lot, don’t you?

“Every day.” I licked my lips, and choked out, very quietly: “Do you think about me?”

Well…ah…I’m not sure, Ben. I…assume that I would. It seems like I would. Do you think that I would?

I shrugged, and rubbed the bracelet between my fingers some more.

An imaginary hand graced my shoulder.

Love…please…you shouldn’t be sitting all alone in here, thinking of me. Your friends are here—they came all this way to see you. Truly, I’m flattered…but you know I wouldn’t want you crying in the dark. Not on your birthday. Well, not ever—but especially not on your birthday. And especially not when three of your dearest friends are all here to celebrate you.

“I wish you were here instead,” I whispered. “I know I shouldn’t. But I do.”

Well…perhaps we will celebrate another of your birthdays together. Only time will tell. But…for now…do you think you could please try to focus on the present? On the things you do have, that you are fortunate to have? And not what you don’t?

I sighed heavily and smeared the palm of my hand across my forehead.

I know, love. I know it’s very hard. But, you are very brave. You are very strong. I know that you can. Please. Don’t waste this time. Not on my account.

“Okay,” I said. “Okay. Okay.”

And I held my hands out in front of me.

And for the very first time since the end of August, I untied the bracelet of green and pink and blue.

Held the full length of it in my hands, stretched out across my palms.

Looked at it, and thought about how long it had taken to wind the strings together, and imagined her fingers working the strands.

Pressed my lips to the woven threads.

Then…rolled it up very carefully, and put it in the box on my nightstand where I keep all my earrings, and took in a deep breath, and let it go…

…and then walked back into the living room, with one hand in my pocket, and the other running through my hair, and my very best attempt at a smile.

[verynastyspoon]

Scout x Fem!reader pt 5

Summary: You and Scout make love

word count: 977

Warnings: Smut!

•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º••º•º•

Now you and Scout have been together for 6 months. You to havent done anything aside from kissing, slight groping and mindless grinding, though Scout has definitely tried. Coming up behind, slowly rubbing your hips, and kissing your neck. “Need you dollface.” he would whisper into your ear or talking about how much the ladies have loved him in bed.But the time wasn’t right so you would always say no. But today is your 6 month anniversary and you’re ready for the main event.

You two just got done eating dinner, Scout is lounging on the couch and you’re finishing up the dishes.

“Hey babe, need any help?” He yells

“No thanks!”

Once you’re done you waltz into the livingroom and plop down on your boyfriend's lap.

“Wow uh hey” He rests his hands on your waist.

You pull him in by his shirt and kiss him deeply. “Im ready” You whisper into his ear.

He takes a moment to process what just happened before lighting up in a big smile. “You sure?”

“Mhm.’’ You say as you kiss him again. He quickly pulls you flush against him into a deepend kiss. He bites on your bottom lip making you gasp, he uses this opportunity to snake his tongue into your mouth. You two tug on eachothers clothes.

Scout is the first to make a move by taking his own shirt off. You quickly follow suite by removing your own. Scout wraps his arms around you and tries to remove your lacy bra, but fails. “Uh doll I cant um.” He points to your bra.

You understand the message and unhook it yourself letting it fall to the floor. Scout’s eyes widen in shock at your perky breasts, unapologetically staring. He moans at the sight and quickly takes one into his mouth. You pull him in closer by his hair into your tit. Scout swirls his tongue around your nipple before switching to the other.

“Fuck baby, you’re beautiful.” He kisses you. “Do you wanna go to your room or just fuck it and I take you here.

“Bed will be more comfortable.”

He stands up with you still on him, holding you up by your ass.

“Oh!”

He chuckles at your response and walks to your room. He gently lays you down and crawls on top of you. You look up at him while pulling on his belt.

He leans back to take unbuckle and quickly removes his pants. As he does that you make a bit of a show removing yours, moving agonizingly slow.

“Please doll, I need to be inside you”

“You gotta prep me first. I thought you were the sex bomb, you should know that.”

He turns red embarrassed. You pull him closer by his dog tags and whisper. “What? You all talk?”

“No!” He says with his ego hurt. “I’ll show you how a man pleases a woman!” He rips off your underwear in one smooth motion and parts your legs. He spreads your lips and licks a long stripe from top to bottom. “You better hang on because i’m not gonna play nice.” He dives in like a man starved, licking, sucking and biting anything he can get his mouth on.

“JESUS SCOUT CALM DOWN!” You push and pull at his hair not knowing if its too much or not enough. He ignores your plea and keeps going, even adding a finger to the mix. He thrusts one digit into your cunt, sliding it in and out. He experimentally curls his finger drawing a high pitch whine from your throat. Scout smirks knowing he found a good spot and keeps up his relentless pace.

“Scout im close~” You moan weakly

“Call me Jeremy.”

“Jeremy please, fuck, let me cum.”

He doubles his pace.

“JEREMY!” You squirt on his face.

He looks down in shock “You squirted. Fuck that was hot.” He pulls back up to kiss your neck as you calm down.

“Fuck me.”

He quickly makes work of his boxers throwing, them somewhere within the dark room,. “You sure?”

“Yes, please Jeremy.” The way you seductively whisper out his name draws a deep groan from him.

You wrap your legs around his waist, urging him to go in. He grabs his cock, it’s long and skinny about 6 inches with a cute pink tip. He slowly pushes into you making both of you moan loudly. He stays there for a moment basking in your warm heat before slowly pushing out and back in.

As he starts to pick up the pace the room gets louder, filled with plops and moans. He starts to thrust in different directions trying to find that sweet spot he found earlier.

“Jeremy!” He grazes your G spot making you whine. He moves faster, continuously hitting that same spot. You pull him down scratching his back, desperately trying to grasp onto anything.

“Y/N i’m getting close.”

“Me too.”

You’re the first to cum, covering his cock in warm fluid. He follows soon after, pulling out and cumming on your stomach.

He collapses onto the bed, both of you basking in post orgasm bliss.

“That was amazing Jeremy.”

“It really was.”

You two cuddle for a little while before you speak up. “Can you wipe me off, i’m all sticky.”

He reluctantly gets up trying to find the closest thing to wipe you off with, which happens to be his pants. He cleans you before laying back down. Scout drapes his arm over you pulling you closer.

“Jeremy.”

“Yes?”

“I was a virgin before this.”

He sits up quickly “Seriously!?”

You nod.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want you to treat me any different.”

“I’m honored you let me take it.”

You kiss him. “No problem.”

•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º••º•º•

[eamour]

Its actually so comforting to know that you’re also an ex-muslim, I’ve never seen another one of us on loa tumblr so when I read your post about it I was just so happy that I can finally relate to someone. I remember when I was a Muslim when I first started doubting things was when my dad bought me a english translation of the Quran. When I read about the homophobic and misogynistic stuff written in there i was super frustrated but at the same time I didn’t want to leave Islam as Ive been indoctrinated since I was younger so I was trying to find proof online that Islam wasn’t actually misogynistic and homophobic. I’m glad I know longer believe in it though because it felt like I was mentally in a cage trying to convince myself that Islam didn’t hate women when it clearly did. I also really dislike it when Muslims act like their religion is feminist like its actually so frustrating, those people have probably never read the quran translated into a language they understand yet they claim that their religion is feminist and supports women. Also this might be a reach but I genuinely think a lot of the worlds problems stem from religion and a lot of the reason why so many old problems are still here is because of religion, I feel like if it wasn’t for religion a lot less people would be homophobic and sexist.

Im so sorry for ranting I just really wanted to say this somewhere as there isn’t really another place for me to say this.

first of all… this message made me so happy, genuinely happy… the way you can relate to me, i can — even if it’s just in a few aspects — relate to you as well.

i‘m shocked at how similar our experiences were. personally, i have never fully believed in religion and couldn’t make sense of it, especially when it came to the misogynistic and sexist parts…

i wanted to say this again if it wasn’t clear: on my blog, you can feel free to talk about such topics, no matter how "insensitive" they might come across! i don’t want to limit my blog to only talking about "how" to manifest, but also get to know the people in this community and the experiences they have made individually. 🥹💗

i can tell you, you are not the only one who has gone through this. i‘m sure many people (including me) can relate to you! ♡

[prosperdemeter2]

i love everything you‘ve ever written, thank you so much 😍😍

your rewrite series is a masterpiece and i finding these pov switches is the highlight of my day today, thank you so much 🥰

if i can send you a request I’d love to see one of eddie’s sisters in the final chapter of stuck :) (if not please ignore this final paragraph and take all my love for everything you‘ve written ♥️)

We're going to pretend this didn't take me, like, two weeks to get to 😅

Adriana hated, a little bit, that she wasn’t able to get an earlier flight into Los Angeles so that she could reasonably ditch her parents like Sophia had until the ceremony. She hated it, because their parents, no matter how much she loved them, were busy bodies and Adriana, the resident busy-body of the Diaz siblings, didn’t like being on the receiving end of it. It was a bit too much like looking into the mirror while she sat at the back of Eddie’s firehouse and watched Helena Diaz critique everything from the ceilings to the tablecloths, to the way a firefighter who looked five seconds away from throwing the broom at her was sweeping the floor. 

They’re so cute!!!!! Sophia had texted her about an hour into spending the afternoon at Eddie’s house watching him get ready for work. She hadn’t sent a picture along with her message but, it was fine, Adriana knew Eddie hated pictures and had to mostly be tricked into them. 

The whole family showing up for his little shield celebration was going to be enough to throw him off center. Adriana… wasn’t about to make things worse when their parents had already stepped in shit and failed to clean it up. “Couldn’t even make it to dinner,” Helena clicked her tongue and brought back up the thing that, for some reason, was worrying her the most about the entire situation. She was so worried, Adriana knew, that Eddie had seen their… less than favorable reaction to his (forced) outing as a rejection. He had barely spoken to them since, always busy, always with something more important going on. Adriana had spoken to them, as had Sophia, broken down what it was that they had done wrong but they just kept saying the same thing - it was a shock. What were we supposed to do? Confront him about it in front of Christopher? “I wonder if he’ll walk in, see us here, and walk right out.” 

“He’s going to be on shift.” Adriana answered dryly. “He can’t just walk out.” 

Abuela laughed and pat Adriana’s knee under the table. “He has been busy Helena.” 

“His boyfriend,” Ramon flinched, just enough for Adriana to notice, on the other side of the table, pursing his lips and directing his gaze to the table cloth. Guilty. Perhaps, out of all of them, their father was the one that needed to apologize the most (was the one that felt the most terrible for how things had been handled). But there had always been a disconnect between him and Eddie - Adriana remembered when Eddie had been little and he had followed Ramon around much like Christopher did him. But somewhere after Abuelo had died, Ramon had shut down, took on more hours at work, told Eddie that he had to be the man of the house. He had never had the same issue connecting with Adriana or Sophia, but Eddie… Adriana didn’t know what it was. She didn’t know if they were just too close, or if their father had accidentally pushed Eddie too far away by repeating things that he had been taught when he was little. Either way, this wasn’t something that their father not apologizing for could fix. Eddie had needed Ramon to do the right thing for once. Had needed the vulnerability to be two sided… but Ramon had walked away and he hadn’t tried to step back in yet. “Just got literally blown up. Dinner probably wasn’t his first priority.” 

Not to mention the Shannon and Christoher of it all, but Adriana was pretty sure that their parents didn’t know just how nasty the divorce had gotten. Eddie had had enough aired about his life without his permission, Adriana wasn’t going to make that worse by airing more. 

“Dios,” Sophia’s hissed whisper as she rounded the corner had Adriana flushing, if only because of the way she smacked at her arm as she said it and dropped herself into the open seat beside her. “Do not drop that in casual conversation, Rana. Eddie gets this…” She waved her hand in front of her face. “Look and this is supposed to be a happy day. We don’t need Eddie’s kicked puppy look.” 

Helena perked up, leaned across the table, and kissed Sophia’s cheek in hello. She opened her mouth to say something, anything, but the familiar scuff of Christopher’s crutches cut her off at the start. Pepa’s voice followed after him and, at a much more sedate pace was…. Adriana tried not to stare.

She had spoken to Buck exactly three times before - all on facetime and all with Eddie within an arm’s reach. He was nice, funny, handsome. Now, even without the cast taking up his entire leg, it was like someone had cut his strings. His cheeks were pale, his hair was a fluffier than Adriana was sure he liked it, and someone (his sister, her mind filled in with a guess) was hovering just to the side carrying her purse and a look of concentrated concern that Adriana remembered seeing on Helena’s face for the first six months Eddie had been back from war. 

Their father sat up a bit straighter, pushing back his chair and got halfway out of it before Abuela beat him to it, “Evan, mi amor!” It was a bit pointed, even as Helena opened her arms towards Christopher who instantly sunk into them and it did it’s job - their mother flushed. 

“Here,” Ramon cleared his throat and gave up his chair, reaching out in a move that was so fluid and familiar that Adriana had to blink to recognize what she was seeing. “Sit.” 

If only Eddie could see them now, the way Helena fussed, the way Abuela smiled in approval, the way Ramon grabbed onto Eddie’s boyfriend’s arm to help him lower himself, slowly, into his closest, open chair and immediately grabbed another to prop up his cast. 

Maybe things weren’t so lost between them all. 

Maybe…. 

[gwydionmisha]

Personal: The New Meds Turn On Me

The new meds side effect wave hit hard and dangerous Thursday, but I'm not sure it didn't start a lot earlier.  

Okay, so I had a viscous headache last Friday night for about three hours, which didn't particularly shock me, as my body just does stuff like that.  Same Saturday.  Normal.  Sunday.  Monday.  I made a note to mention it to the doctor Tuesday morning, but forgot.  I noticed Tuesday's headache at the same time was absolutely crushing for three hours, then shut off like a faucett as if it had never been.  Which is creepy and wrong.  So I'm now weighing if the new meds improvement is worth creepy three hour debilitating headache every day, and if I should call it in the next day.

So Wednesday I wake up to one of my body is very, very bad days.  which is a thing that happens sometimes, especially if my body's been to far which between the uncleaner and the extreme heat and this being the worse time of year for my allergies and assorted RL commitments including the doctor is not weird.  Plus I'm... I forget how many days in on struggling to type on Klaus Laptop because its hard to lift my arm the extra nine and a half inches, and i'm mostly having to drink with a straw because i go half my wake cycle not being ably to lift a full glass of water that high and I'm dropping things because my arms are fucked.  which happens.  All of it really stresses out my body though, you follow?  

So sometimes the alarm goes off because I have to go somewhere and my body nopes out of it, or tries to.  So I'm exhausted.  I have the shakes.  I end up way late to pick up Goth Millennial because it's just that hard to move.  So I drive Goth Millennial around and wait in the car while they do errands.  Goth Millennial goes outside to putter in the garden.  I lung, then take a nap, all with Tavy glued to my chest, because it's sometimes better after a nap.  Resets everything to a more acceptable level of crappy.  

I make it all the way up to minimally functional by the time the other Millennials arrive for dinner.  One of them had brought pre-marrinated and cooked tofu.  Me: I think we should make rice for it.  With coconut milk and saffron and Turmeric.  New Millennial: Oooo!  That sounds delicious!  Me: It's possible I'm edging up towards Indonesian happy rice except I don't have any lemon grass.  But I do have Bay leaves....  So it ends up with New Millennial Making Rice and the two of us keep consulting on spices until i have to lie down again.  The results we excellent.

Tavy is still clearly traumatized from the Uncleaner.  He loves techie Millennial.  Techie Millennial was the first visitor he let pet and play with him.  He hid from the Millennials when they arrived after nap time.  He did eventually come out and watch them for a bit and even rubbed against Techies legs, but ran if it even looked like someone might tough her.  I'm still so angry about the uncleaner traumatizing him like this.

Really, I just wanted to go to bed after they left, but I needed to stay up for the morning allergy treatment.  My body was really not moving well, but I dragged myself there and back, which nearly did me in.  I did manage to prep for bed and climb in, which really fucking hurt, at which point the first wave of hallucinations and fast heartbeat and arrhythmia hit.  So that was fun.  Me: Guess that's it for new Meds.  They were amazing while they lasted.

They must have been really busy at the doctor because they didn't get back to me until afternoon.  I left a message for my doctor's nurse, conveying that I was having severe side effects and needed to know if I should go to the ER.  No one ever got back to me.  The heart stuff got really bad for four or five hours, always with visual hallucinations.  I thought about calling for help, but my right arm wasn't working and my left wasn't great either, and it's usually eight hours minimum to get seen at the ER and they yell at you if you bring in chest pains that turn out not to be a heart attack, and the pain only happened when I moved so it was likely just torso muscles screaming about my arms.  

But the supper high irregular heart beat for hours can't be good.  I wrote this waiting for receptionist call back Friday morning.  I was 36 minutes in on the wait as I typed this sentence.  I really think they should check my heart, but if they are this busy... Yeah.  I'm assuming if it was really dangerous, they'd return my call from yesterday instead of continuing to ignore my message.

[snowysosturn]

Speeding Car - Matt Sturniolo Part 3

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29

Pairing : y/n x Matt Sturniolo

Summary : After six years with your boyfriend Alex, you start to mentally check out. At a UCLA party, Alex reconnects with his childhood friend Emily, who proposes a double date with her boyfriend Matt. Your attraction to Matt grows as he pays you the first real attention you've had in years, sparking a complicated emotional journey.

Warning : MDNI, drinking, slight swearing, unhappy relationship

“Emily just messaged me” Alex said. Suddenly I was all ears. “She said Matt and his brothers are throwing a bit of a party in his place tonight if we’d like to come”

A party.

In Matt’s house.

Matt.

I hesitated for a moment before replying with an enthusiastic but not so enthusiastic yes. It was another excuse to see Matt, and despite my better judgment, I couldn’t resist the thrill of it.

I jumped off the couch and rushed into our shared bedroom to get ready, making sure I looked better than I did last night. Alex replied to Emily to let her know we would make it there after 9pm and she sent over the address.

Alex drove to Matt’s house, making the decision early that he wasn’t drinking since football practice was starting back on Tuesday. It seemed the place was already buzzing when we got there, we could hear the laughter and music spilling out onto their neighbourhood. Matt’s house was a 3 story, modern build with large windows.

Emily greeted us at the door, a drink already in her hand. "Heyyyyy guys! Come in, come in!" She said, her hands motioning us to walk her way, her words slightly slurred. She wrapped me in a tight hug, then did the same to Alex.

We stepped inside and walked up the stairs. Matt appeared almost immediately, a welcoming smile on his face. "Glad you could make it" He said, his eyes lingering on mine for a moment longer than necessary. "I want you both to meet my brothers."

He led us through the crowd, introducing us to Nick and Chris. My disbelief when I noticed they all look the same.

He’s a triplet?!

This made me even more intrigued by him. They stood next to eachother, with the same chiseled features and warm, engaging smiles. Yet, the more I spoke to them, it became clear that while they looked alike, their personalities were different. Chris was outgoing and carefree, the life of the party, while Nick was quieter, but god did he have rapid comebacks.

“Do you want me to put your jacket somewhere safe?” Nick asked me.

“Um yeah sure that’d be great” I replied, giving him a soft smile.

“Follow me” Nick gestures to me as we weave through the crowd of people.

We walked up another flight of stairs and and into a room that appears to be Nick’s.

“You can leave it here on my bedside locker, I would put it in my closet but the rails fell off a few months ago and I don’t want that mother fucker to do it again” Nick exclaims.

I gave him a slight laugh over his closet concerns and placed my jacket down. “Oh what brand is this?” I say picking up one of the several lip balms displayed next to me.

“Oh it’s my brand, Space Camp, you can take one if you like!” Nick gestures. I picked up a pineapple lip balm and put it in my purse. “Good choice, that one is actually Matt’s favourite.”

I felt flustered by the mention of his name, so flustered I couldn’t even get words out, the only response Nick got from me was a shocked nod.

We left his room and walked back down the stairs to the main living area. I caught a glance of Matt sitting out on their balcony from the corner of my eye. I walk in his direction and push open the sliding door to step out to join him.

"Are you enjoying your night?" Matt asked as he looked back at me, his voice low as we stood out on the balcony connected to the living room, away from the main group of guests.

"Yeah I'm having fun!" I replied, my heart beating faster in his presence, pulling out the chair next to him to sit down. "Your brothers seem really nice, you kept quiet about being a triplet."

"They are" he said, smiling. "We’re extremely close, though we each have our own lives. I think it’s important for us to be all treated like individuals and not as a buy 1 get 2 free type deal" We both laughed in unison at his joke.

The sound of the balcony door opening cut the conversation short. “Babe do you want a drink?” asked Alex.

Babe? When has he ever called me babe?

“Uh yeah that would be great, thank you” I said with slight annoyance in my voice.

Realistically, I should be thrilled that he’s even thinking of me right now. I just wish it hadn't been mid conversation with Matt. I tried to focus on him, on our relationship, but my mind kept drifting back to Matt, his kindness, his attention. It was intoxicating, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was on the edge of something I couldn’t control. I stood up and walked back into the party with Alex, leaving Matt alone.

As the party progressed, I noticed a change in Emily's behavior. She drank more and more, her demeanor shifting from affectionate to dismissive, all at an alarming rate. At one point, she staggered over to us, her face flushed.

"Matt, why didn't you bring me another drink? I asked you agessss ago!"

Matt sighed, obvious his patience was wearing thin. "I was just about to, Emily. You need to slow down a bit."

"Don't tell me what to do!" she snapped, shoving his shoulder. "Just get me the damn drink."

I watched the exchange, a bit taken back. My heart aching for Matt. He forced a smile, his jaw tight. "Okay, I'll get it."

As he walked away, Emily turned to me, her expression softening slightly. "Men, right? Always sooooo slooooow."

I nodded, exhaling a forced laugh, unsure how to respond. The way she treated Matt was unsettling, a stark contrast to the kind, patient man I had seen.

When Matt returned with her drink, she barely acknowledged him, turning her attention to a group of friends. I couldn't help but notice more of these small outbursts from that moment on.

She snapped at Matt for the smallest things, her words sharp and cruel. He took it all on the chin, but the strain was evident in his eyes. At one point, she spilled her drink on Matt and blamed him, causing a scene that left him clearly embarrassed.

As the hours passed, I could feel the exhaustion setting in. Guests were starting to leave, their laughter fading into the night as they said their goodbyes. I found Matt alone in the kitchen, staring into his drink. I approached cautiously, not wanting to intrude.

"Hey" I said softly. "You okay?"

He looked up, his expression weary. "Yeah, just.. tired, I guess."

"Emily's really drunk" I ventured. "She’s not herself tonight."

He looked at me, a sadness in his eyes. "Yeah, it’s just.. Emily, you know? She can be difficult sometimes."

I nodded, unsure of what to say. "She’s lucky to have you.." I finally said. "You’re a really good guy."

"Thanks" he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "That means a lot."

For a moment, we stood in silence, the noise of the party starting to get quieter. I wanted to reach out, to offer more than just words, but I knew the boundaries were still there.

Eventually, we rejoined everyone, but the night had lost its luster. Emily continued to drink, her behavior growing more erratic.

"I think we should go." Alex said, appearing beside me. He looked concerned, having witnessed Emily's outburst.

"Yeah, I think that's a good idea" I agreed, glancing at Matt one last time.

Alex walked down the stairs to the front door while I followed Nick upstairs to retrieve my jacket.

As I walked back down the stairs to the open living area, I couldn't help but overhear snippets of their conversation. Emily's voice was sharper than before, her words fueled with irritation.

"Matt, why are you being so boring tonight?" She slurred, swaying slightly. "You’re supposed to be having fun, not sulking in the corner."

"I’m not sulking, Emily. I'm just tired" Matt replied, patient but strained. "And you’ve had a lot to drink. Maybe it’s time to call it a night."

"Don’t tell me what to do" Emily snapped, her eyes flashing with anger. "Just because you’re the host doesn’t mean you get to control everything."

Matt sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I’m not trying to control you. I just don’t want you to embarrass yourself or get hurt."

Emily rolled her eyes dramatically. "Oh, please. You’re always so worried about appearances. Maybe if you loosened up a bit, people would actually enjoy being around you."

I hovered on the last step of the stairs, not wanting to intrude further. I caught eye contact with Emily, who started to walk toward me with her arms out, stumbling over her own two feet in the process.

“Thank you sooooo much for coming” she slurred as she pulled me in for a big hug.

Matt walked me to the front door where Alex was waiting. "Sorry about tonight" he said quietly. "It’s not usually like this."

"Don't apologize" I said, lightly brushing off his arm. "You did nothing wrong."

He gave me a grateful half smile. "Thanks. Drive safe."

As Alex and I left the party, I glanced back at Matt one last time. Our eyes met, and in that brief moment, I felt a connection that was deeper and more profound than anything I had experienced in years. That half smile felt like it slowed down time. It made me wonder if he also felt the same.

a/n: next part you’ll get matts pov for the first time, i’m on holidays in America for the first time so the difference in time zones has me messed up. I’m hoping to get part 4 out in next few days, it is done it just needs a bit of tweaking <3

taglist : @muwapsturniolo @anitahunt @sturnfannn @jayde510 @chrissfavhoe @babyalliah-777 @v33angel @urmom69lol @willowrites @ribread03 @sleepyysavv @sturnsaver @sleepysturniolo @jcsturniolo11 @jessie-essie @immattsslut @mynbbys

[sweetmusingss]

Don sighed when you refused to take his money and he shook his head at you. “She doesn’t think you’re creepy, you know. I heard her talking to Alexis the other night because she was having a problem with her dishwasher. I heard her say that she almost texted you but she was afraid you would block her and ignore her,” he chuckled lightly, finding this whole thing a little amusing. “So don’t be afraid to text her. She likes you for some reason,” he teases you before taking another sip of his drink. “But yes, I will make sure she’s okay if you’re too stubborn to check yourself.”

I was in much better spirits after spending the whole afternoon with Noah. I was still smiling over the fact that you put together some food for us and I wanted to do something nice for you that you would actually accept. Noah and I made a little card for you and I bought a little gift card for the market, excited to give it to you.

Seb couldn’t help but smile a bit at the thought of you texting him about a broken dishwasher. He knew how to fix everything, being a bit of a handyman, so he would’ve been the perfect person to txt about that. “I wouldn’t of blocked her... but yeah, thanks. I’m not gonna text her, though..” Seb was as stubborn as a bull and there was no way he was going to be the first one to break the ice and send the first text message. “I’ll see you around, Don. Don’t eat too much or else you’ll get fat like me and force me to go on stupid runs with you.”  

__

Frank held you close, wrapping his arm tightly around you and smiling softly to himself. He knew that this was not what people usually did in private rooms but it felt good to have this moment with you. As much as he was physically attracted to you, he loved having these sweet moments with you too and it was just further proof of how gone for you he already was. “We can do whatever you want. I don’t feel the need to lie to them if you don’t want to. I don’t really care what anyone has to say. I like your company and I am not going to be ashamed of how we met. I am actually incredibly grateful for it,” he smiles softly at you, wanting you to know that he didn’t want you to feel ‘embarrassed’ or anything like that over what your job was. “Or we can come up with some cheesy story like I accidentally took your coffee order and we had the sweetest meet cute ever,” he smirks at you before pulling you into his lap properly and wrapping his arms around your waist. “People there are just going to be shocked that I have a date at all,” he says honestly to you, it being no secret that he was a loner. He was always alone since his ex, never thinking he’d meet someone again until you.

I flush a bit as Frank says he was grateful for meeting me here, but I couldn’t help but wish that it was under any other circumstance. I wish we did meet at a a cafe or something, just somewhere that wasn’t a strip club. I was pretty ashamed of my job, not really wanting to go into a room full of successful people and have Frank tell them all that he met me while I was assigned to ‘entertain’ him during a bachelor party. That wasn’t the reputation I wanted to have amongst his friends. “I like the meet cute better. I accidentally took your coffee because I was listening to music really loud and then as soon as our eyes met when you were trying to get my attention, I fell for you. Or something equally as cheesy and romantic as that.” I giggle when he pulls me into his lap, going easily, always letting him manhandle me since it didn’t feel like he was forcing me into anything. I was more than willing to be submissive for him in these instances. “Oh, don’t say that. You’re so hot, Frankie... multiple other girls here have brought you up to me. It’s the tattoos and the lip ring and the nose ring and your big adorable eyes... it all just lures women in right away. You just don’t notice it.” 

[icallhimjoey]

A Whisper Away

♥ ♥  Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: A continuation of Like A Poem and A Lot Like Love where we dip into your November for a couple consecutive years and see how you’re getting on with the bookstore, Joe’s career and… other changes.

CW / disclaimer: rpf, fem!reader, angsty, I strongly advise you to read the previous bookstore fics before diving into this one!

Author’s note: an amazing request from @darthvontrapp​ inspired this “third season” in the bookstore - im LOVING your feedback on it so far, keep it coming! 

Wordcount: 3.5K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

“You can never let him know that I’m letting you listen to this,” you said to your mother. You were both sat on your sofa, and she just smiled at you as she sipped her tea.

“No, mum. I’m serious. He’ll actually murder me.” you were serious, but your eyes were comically big and the sight of you gave your mum a hard time not cracking up.

You pressed play on the voicemail Joe had left you about 18 hours earlier, in the middle of the previous night. 

“Hey, it’s me... Joe,” 

It had been 17 hours and 50 minutes since you’d first listened to it. Three o’clock in the morning. For some reason, the ringing of your phone hadn’t awoken you, but the text message you received straight after, alerting you of a new voicemail message, had shocked you from your sleep. 

You saw Joe’d called you, and it took you a second to fully understand the situation. Panic took over; maybe something was wrong with Alfie. 

But, would he not just have called a couple of times if that had been the case? You eyed the time and the date on your phone, and groaned a little. 

Then you received another text. From Joe this time.

“please delete that, sorry x” 

Still in bed, half asleep, head pressed firmly into your pillow, you decided you would listen to the message straight away, ignoring Joe’s request entirely. You loved being pocket-dialed and eavesdropping in on conversations. Receiving a voicemail you were then asked not to listen to? An impossible task.

“Hey, it’s me... Joe,”

The fact that Joe thought he needed to clarify that it was him by mentioning his name felt so stupid, it was almost insulting. 

“I know I’m calling at an awful hour, I thought maybe you’d be awake anyway, but I guess not,” 

Joe’s voice was deep and sleepy, and you could hear that he was trying to stay as quiet as he could. He left long pauses in his speech and dragged out words like he wasn’t really sure of what he was going to say next, and you wondered what had prompted him to call you at three o’clock in the morning. You hadn’t spoken about anything other than the necessary information about Alfie whenever he’d pick him up, or you’d drop him off. You hadn’t talked to each other in ages, especially not since deciding that perhaps, taking a break from each other would be the best thing for you. 

“That’s good,” 

You’d tried. For months, you had really tried. You’d gone to view some houses with Joe, because he really wanted you to move out of the apartment. You’d visited Joe three times on set in the United States, opting not to join him for the full duration of it, but be there at the start, somewhere in the middle, and near the end of filming. In between you had FaceTimed lots, but you’d felt Joe slip away from you. All you’d talk about was Alfie, and your chats became more formal, just exchanging what needed exchanging. You’d decided Mondays the bookstore wouldn’t open, and Sundays, you’d close early. Sometimes you’d even open late on Tuesdays. 

You had tried. You’d really, really tried. 

But you'd been raised on books. Books that always had the time for you. Books that never made you wait for them. Books that would give you quiet time and space away from them for hours if you needed them to, only to be right there, ready and willing when you wanted to pick them up again. Books that wouldn't assume. Books that didn't fill blanks themselves, that didn't go behind your back to fix things, to make things worse in the process. 

Books that you loved so dearly, that had seemingly been the solid foundation of your relationship, but now seemed to have its pages torn - it's last few chapters ripped out and missing.

“I mean, it’s good that you’re not awake. Dad said that you’d been having trouble sleeping- not that we, we don’t... he doesn’t tell me the things you two talk about. I ask, but... you know what he’s like,” 

There were days where Joe wouldn’t be able to pick Alfie up, and Joe’s dad would stop by to take him off your hands. He’d always make time to ask you how you were; how you were feeling, how you were coping. At first, you’d never reveal much, but as time passed, he’d know how to get small bits of information out of you. He’d commented on how you looked tired the other day, and you’d said you hadn’t been sleeping very well. You knew it was mostly the time of year that got under your skin, and Joe’s dad had suggested for you to maybe talk to Joe about Alfie’s days. Maybe you could arrange for Alfie to be at Joe’s a bit more in these months. “Yea, maybe,” you’d just nodded and smiled, knowing that you couldn’t, but that his dad was only trying to help. You missed Alfie enough as it was when he’d have his days at Joe’s.    

“Today Alfie had a rough day. He kept wanting things and even if I gave them, it just, wouldn’t be right... at one point he just sat in the corner beside the sofa, hidden in the curtains for a while and when I went to check on him after a bit, he was reading! Can you believe that? He had his book, the one with all the animals in, and had it open in his lap like he was actually reading it!” 

Joe just... talked. He talked. You had a hard time coming around to the fact that he had called you, just to talk. On this day. At this time. You imagined him in bed, phone pressed to his ear in the dark, with the urge to just... talk to you, and then just taking the plunge, picking up the phone before he could’ve changed his mind. You felt emotion shoot up your throat as Joe recounted his day with Alfie. 

“Of course, I didn’t disturb him... I know the rules,” 

You could hear Joe’s smile through the phone and you chuckled through a loud sob that surprised you, hot tears sinking into your pillow. Joe was silent for a bit, and you wished you could’ve seen his face to guess his train of thought. 

“I just... God, I was really hoping to catch you. I don’t know what it is... maybe it's the time of year? But I can’t seem to get you out of my mind, none of it is getting any easier... I miss you. My friends said it would get easier, but I still miss you,” 

Joe missed you. You knew in that moment that you’d be listening to this message again a million more times, just to hear him say that over and over again. He missed you. And you missed Joe too, but you couldn't help but only miss a very specific version of him. One that he didn't seem to have any of left within him now.

“Remember when we found out we were having Alfie? I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared in my life, I just... I couldn’t stop thinking of all the things that could go wrong, you know? But the way you... you just...” 

You allowed yourself to reminisce along with him. Joe had made offhand comments about having children someday a couple of times, so you knew that he’d definitely wanted them at some point. You just hadn’t expected for it to happen so soon. You’d been on antibiotics for a bladder infection and had forgotten that sometimes, antibiotics render contraception useless. At least, that’s what you heard could happen, so that’s what you thought must have happened. The two of you’d had to make quick decisions. Were you going to do this? Yes, you both wanted to. Even with Joe’s career? Yes, you’d figure it out, you’d been so sure of it. Would Joe move into the apartment above the store with you? Yes, he already practically lived there anyway. Joe’s flatmate could easily rack up the rent for the flat himself and was happy he’d get more space in return. Joe’s old bedroom had been converted into an office, and the small office they’d shared before, had become storage. 

Joe’d been lucky that his flatmate had immediately opened his doors for him when he asked if he could move back in. Joe’d said it would probably be temporary, but now, the office had become his full bedroom again, and the storage room was now Alfie’s. 

“You’re one of the strongest people I know. I don’t think I realised it then... witnessing you giving birth, however, Jesus... I don’t- have I ever told you this? It took so long, but the way you powered through the whole thing, one of the nurses afterwards told me how impressed she was because she’d seen other ladies give up having not gone through half of what you had to deal with, and you looked like you could’ve easily gone eight more hours if you had to. You were... I don’t know, chipper? Just, so animated, they all loved you. You were cracking jokes all the way up until you fell asleep afterwards... I couldn’t laugh at a single one of them, I was so sick with nerves...” 

You honestly didn’t remember much from your labour, just that it took ages. You didn’t remember the things your mother kept telling you for encouragement. You didn’t remember Joe’s terrified, worried, ashen complexion. Apparently he’d been clammy the whole time, wiping sweat from your face just as much as from his own. You didn’t remember the nurses laughing at jokes you were making, and you didn’t remember much of the pain either.

You did remember the first sounds Alfie made. And you did remember Joe’s proud tears as he looked at you with Alfie pressed against your chest. You also remembered how you had felt after giving birth - the euphoria of that moment was something you wish you could’ve bottled up for future use, because oh my God, that had been different from anything else you’d ever experienced before. You honestly thought another pregnancy would be worth considering just for that feeling.  

“I’m sorry, I don’t know where this is coming from... I should probably hang up, I’ll see you tomorrow when I drop off Alfie after nursery,” 

Joe seemed suddenly embarrassed. Like he all of the sudden had realised what he was doing. You wondered if maybe he’d been drinking and was now slowly sobering up. But he didn’t hang up the phone. He let another silence linger and you wondered how much longer until voicemail would cut him off. 

“Do you know how much I love you? I know I’m probably not meant to say, but I... I love you. A lot. I just need you to know that.”  

Hearing Joe say those words made you think back to the last time he’d said them to you. It was during the saddest fight you’d ever had with him. It’s when ultimately you’d said that you thought maybe you couldn’t do this with Joe. That maybe being with Joe Quinn wasn’t written in the stars for you, because you found it more and more difficult as Joe’s fame grew. Joe’d sarcastically agreed, furiously so, shouting things like, “Of course you can’t fucking do this with me, what, with all the trouble it’s giving you,”, insinuating that whatever issues you were having with it weren't real. Like the thing you'd been scared of from the start wasn't still looming over you so threateningly. Joe had tried to make being with him sound all sorts of simple, and you knew even then that it wouldn't be, so you'd pretend. You'd pretend it was simple, until you couldn't anymore. When you had proposed to take an actual break from each other for a little while, Joe had broken down completely. His anger had immediately shifted into sad desperation, and you didn’t remember how long you’d held Joe as he’d violently sobbed and kept repeating that he loved you. 

“I miss you... I can’t look at Alfie without missing you. He gave me a look today that was just- it was exactly your face. The nose scrunch you do, the eye roll. He rolled his eyes at me! This kid, I swear to God... Although, he might’ve gotten the eye roll from Anne, I’m not sure...”

You laughed through your tears as you listened.

“I hope you have an alright day, don’t let this message ruin it. I’m sorry if it does.” 

It sounded like Joe was rounding of his phone call for the second time, but once again, he let a silence fall before carrying on.

“Can I... just, I need to... do you miss me? I’m never sure if... like, do I move on now? I’m not sure how I could, but is that... is that what’s happening right now? Are we just postponing breaking up for real? Because I don’t know how much longer I can be on this break,” 

You swung legs over the edge of your bed, and looked around the dark room, focussing on what you thought might be clothing items you could quickly grab to put on. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that... shit, what am I doing? Sorry, you’re better off deleting this message all together. I... I’ll text you to delete it, sorry, I’ll see you tomorrow,”  

You didn’t waste any time. You hadn’t even fully registered the last couple of things Joe’d said because you were busy, jumping into a pair of jeans and scanning the room to see if you left your shoes in there somewhere. With your shoelaces still undone, you grabbed your coat from its hook, found your keys on the side and scurried your way down the stairs.

You didn’t want to ring Joe’s doorbell, knowing the godawful sound it would echo throughout the apartment. You didn’t need to wake up Alfie, you just needed to see Joe. But it was raining, and you were cold, and Joe wasn’t answering his phone, so you had no other choice. When the door buzzed open, you raced inside, giving for the stairs, taking two at a time, leaving a wet trail from the front door of the building all the way to the front door of Joe's flat. 

When you rounded the corner, you could see Joe waiting for you in his doorway, squinty eyes, confused and frowning as you pulled into his focus. You were rushing, and when you opened your arms in your last few steps, Joe braced for impact and caught you. You lips crashed onto his as you legs curled around his back. Joe had no other choice but to kiss you back. You hadn't kissed each other in weeks and you were desperate for his mouth. And from the way Joe so readily accepted all of your bodyweight as you'd practically jumped him, drenched from the rain, you knew he must have felt the same.

"Do I miss you?" your tone was accusing as you spoke into his mouth, grasping onto his shoulders tighter. "Are you fucking serious?" the cold rain had left you freezing. You really felt how cold you were when held up and pressed tightly against Joe's warm body, and you shivered into your kiss. 

"You listened to the voicemail," Joe took a few steps into the flat with you in his arms and turned to use his hip to shut the door behind you, lips only leaving yours to whisper.

"Of course I did, you idiot," you whisper yelled at him, very aware that you were in a flat with two sleeping people and you leant back from your kiss to look at his face. 

"You're soaked," Joe whispered, scanning you over like he hadn't seen or felt it yet. Joe looked like the Joe you'd fallen in love with years ago. Hair fluffy, face scruffy, his T-shirt loosely hung on his frame. You, on the other hand, looked like you'd taken a cold shower with your clothes on. 

"It's raining," you let your feet find the floor, but Joe was quick to pull you back into another kiss, his hands on your cheeks, nose nudging around yours slowly and you couldn't help but melt into it. 

"I shouldn't have called," Joe started slowly pushing you backwards, manouvering you to his bedroom, his tongue finding yours to play with.

"You shouldn't have called," you lied, and let Joe guide you down the hallway until he closed his bedroom door behind the two of you. 

"And then what?" your mother asked, and if she hadn't been holding a hot mug of tea, you'd have smacked her with one of your sofa cushions. Like you were going to go into detail with her - absolutely not.

"What do you mean, and then what?" your reddened cheeks surely gave away what had happened next, and your mother knew, but that didn't mean she didn't get to make fun of it a little. 

"Well, why isn't he here?" your mother gestured around the apartment.

"Because... I don't know, we're still on a break?" you shrugged. It didn't make sense, but you guessed that you kind of were, still. One night together hadn't effectively fixed anything, but it had opened a door you thought maybe you wouldn't be able to open anymore. 

The next morning you'd showered at Joe's flat, had a very awkward interaction with Joe's flatmate before taking a very surprised Alfie over to nursery with Joe. You'd strolled hand in hand for a minute, the sleeves of your coat still wet and cold to the touch, but Joe hadn't let go until he had to because you'd arrived. You'd then parted ways, and as you'd turned around, Joe'd squeezed your bum and he'd given you a naughty smile when you'd silently scolded him for doing so in public. Then, you'd walked back to the store, and found Anne there, getting the store ready to open at 10. 

At 11, the door to the store had opened and to your surprise, Joe had wandered in. You'd been up high on a ladder when you saw him enter, and your heart stopped for a second when you saw Anne look at him from behind the counter. You half expected him to be there to talk. But then, Joe had politely said hi to Anne and had given her a tight lipped smile, like he wasn't Joe, but instead a regular, old, bookstore customer. You watched him from above as he let his eyes wander some shelves before picking up a book, taking off his coat and sitting down in an armchair. His armchair.

Anne had looked up at you and frowned as if to say, what the fuck is he doing. You frowned back, just as confused as she was, shaking your head a little as if to say, I don't fucking know, but you couldn't help having to hide a smile, pursing your lips in a poor attempt.

"He came into the store to read," you said to your mother, as if that explained anything at all. "Spent over two hours sat in one of the armchairs, like he used to. When I made him a cup of coffee, he said thank you like we were strangers flirting with each other, it was so stupid," you grinned.

Your mother eyed you for a second before inhaling sharply. "Sometimes I forget how much you resemble him," she smiled as she leant forward to place her mug on your coffee table. You knew who she was talking about. You grandfather was the reason she'd come over in the first place, because she thought you'd probably have had a rough day. Instead, you'd surprised her with bright eyes and with elated body language when you had let her in. 

"I do?" you were instantly curious.

"Oh God, are you joking? All of the issues you and Joe seem to be having, it's like I'm 6 and listening to my own parents bicker over the dinner table," your mother shook her head as she laughed, and you could see her eyes gloss over slightly as she seemed to sink into her memories.

"Did they... were they okay? In the end?" you asked carefully after a short silence, watching your mother's face as she nodded whilst staring into space. "Oh yea, they figured it out - it was easy, once they did," 

"How did they do it?" 

Your mother then turned to look at you and was met by her daughter, staring at her with big eyes, filled with big emotions. She gave you a reassuring smile. 

"The books. It was always the books." 

-----

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