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dreamwritesimagines · 11 months ago

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The Eye of the Hurricane [9] - Engagement

A.N: Here’s the new chapter my loves! ❤️ Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback, you made my day! ❤️I hope you’ll like this chapter as well and please don’t forget to tell me what you think! ❤️

Summary: A marriage decision leads to an honest conversation about expectations.

Word Count: 2700

Pairing: MobBoss!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Violence, death, guns, crime, blood, explicit language, drinking. This is an AU, friendly reminder that I don’t condone any of the actions depicted on this story and please read with care.

Series Masterlist

For a couple of seconds, he gawked at you in complete silence before he managed to pull himself together.

“You—you’re saying yes?”

“I’m saying yes.”

“Seriously?”

“Please don’t ask me again because I have this feeling that I’ll change my mind if I think about it longer than a second,” you stated and he nodded fervently.

“Right,” he said. “Sure, I…wow. Okay, we’re—we’re getting married then.”

“Don’t say that either, I am not ready to hear it out loud,” you said with a sigh but before he could answer, a soft voice reached you both.

“Bucky?”

He closed his eyes shut for a moment as he scrunched up his face and you turned your head to look at the top of the stairs where a pretty girl in an oversized shirt –his shirt, if you had to guess— was leaning to the steel handrail.

“Hi,” she said. “Um, who are you?”

“His fiancée,” you stated, trying your hardest to ignore the pang of jealousy in your stomach and her eyes widened.

“Oh I didn’t—I didn’t know—”

“Neither did I when I woke up today,” you said with a click of your tongue. “Can you leave us please?”

“Sure!” she said as she rushed back to what you could only assume was the bedroom and Bucky shot you an apologetic look.

“Charm I’m sorry, if I knew…”

You walked past him, looking around the huge living room. Even you had to admit it looked incredibly beautiful and sleek, and the clear view of the city that you could see from the floor-to-ceiling windows was absolutely breathtaking. It was exactly what you would come up with if someone asked you what Bucky's apartment would look like; luxurious yet dark.

It didn’t mean you would tell him that though.

“I’m not moving in here by the way, this place is a dump,” you forced yourself to say, “If I wanted industrial interior, I’d buy myself a factory.”

“Right, sure—”

“That could be a fun project though,” you muttered more to yourself as the girl appeared at the top of the stairs again, and rushed downstairs, grabbing her coat off the rack.

“Sorry again,” she said without looking you in the eye and walked out of the apartment, and you heaved a deep sigh.

“None of this will be happening from now on by the way,” Bucky said in a haste and you rolled your eyes, then turned around to look at him.

“I don’t care about you enough to have that conversation with you,” you said. “I don’t give a fuck who you fuck, but you’re not going to make me look like an idiot in front of other people so when it inevitably happens, you’ll keep it a secret.”

“You don’t have to worry about that at all,” he said, his voice firm and you crossed your arms.

“So then,” you said. “I feel like we should both talk about the conditions before taking it to the families and the lawyers and everything.”

“I’m good with your conditions,” he said and you shot him a glare.

“You don’t even know my conditions.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

You kept your eyes on him, a slight frown pulling your brows together before you took a deep breath and took off your coat to throw it over the couch.

“Either way, I think we should talk about it,” you insisted and leaned on your hip. “So do you have actual booze in here or are you going to pull out a homemade barrel or something?”

He smiled slightly.

“Take a seat sweetheart,” he said. “I’ll bring the wine.”

“And put a shirt on!” you said as you made your way to the table, ignoring the way your heart skipped a beat. “This is a business deal, honestly. There has to be a dress code.”

When Bucky came to the table, he did in fact have his shirt on and he was carrying a bottle of wine with two glasses. He filled one and handed it to you, then filled his own and sat down. You took a sip, pleasantly surprised at the taste and lowered your glass, leaning back.

“Alright,” he said. “Tell me your conditions.”

You swirled the wine in your glass, deep in thought.

“Well first of all, we need to have a time table,” you said. “I don’t want to stay married to you for the rest of my life, and I’m pretty sure you share the sentiment.”

A small smile twitched the corners of his lips but he didn’t comment on it.

“But we can’t get a divorce as soon as I take over because that will lead to a lot of questions and I won’t have the time for distractions, the taking over process is chaotic enough,” you said. “I can’t be making any mistakes, especially considering I already have a rival.”

“Calling Ian a rival makes him sound more important than he actually is,” Bucky commented. “But I agree. We already know some of the families can disagree with this idea.”

“Stark?” you asked and he nodded.

“At least,” he said. “We have Steve and Sam’s support, my family and your family of course, but the rest…”

“You think Romanoff would disagree?”

Bucky thought for a moment.

“Probably, but I can talk to Nat I think,” he said. “She’d hear me out.”

“Barton?”

“Barton is not going to do anything Nat disagrees with,” he said. “If we have Nat, we have Clint.”

“So that leaves us Stark,” you said, pursing your lips. “Who talks to him, you or me?”

He shot you an apologetic look.

“I mean we may try to sell it as love but at the end of the day, everyone will think about the business side of things,” he said. “It could be better if your father talked to him actually. He already dislikes me enough, and we’re changing the power balance in the city by doing this.”

“Alright,” you said. “My dad could do that.”

“Next?”

“I want your word that I will be included in everything,” you said. “None of the bullshit the earlier generation pulled. I will be in every meeting and I will be included in every single decision.”

He nodded. “Yeah, figured as much.”

“I mean it Bucky,” you said, looking him in the eye. “We will be equals completely.”

“We will be,” he assured you. “I swear on my honor.”

“And I’m not changing my surname.”

He threw his head back. “Charm…”

“Out of question.”

“Charm if I’m going to get you into those meetings, you need to have my surname,” he insisted. “You know the rules. We need to give them an actual reason if you can’t be there as an heir.”

You thought for a moment and cleared your throat.

“Hyphenated it is,” you said. “I’ll keep mine and add yours.”

“It’d be better if—”

“I can’t take over my father’s territory if my last name is Barnes,” you pointed out. “I’ll use both, it’s fine.”

Bucky thought for a moment, then licked his lips and shrugged his shoulders.

“Fine,” he grumbled even though his tone signaled it was anything but fine. You sipped your wine, leaning back.

“Goes without saying that we won’t have any children in the meantime so should we even talk about it?”

“I think we should,” Bucky said, a small smile curling his lips. “Just in case.”

“Just in case?” you repeated and he rolled his eyes.

“It’ll be on the prenup just like everything else,” he reminded you. “And our families will see those prenups, so it’d be better if we covered it beforehand.”

You huffed out and waved a dismissive hand.

“Fine,” you said. “The usual, right? The first born is the heir…”

“The second born is the spare, yeah,” Bucky said. “Although, if you’re keeping your surname…”

“Our children would as well,” you finished his sentence for him and let out a dry laugh. “So then, is the firstborn yours or mine?”

“Maybe it’ll be twins,” he joked and you shook your head.

“We’ll say that the firstborn rules both until the second born is ready, and then divide my territory and yours accordingly,” you said and Bucky raised his brows.

“But until then, both territories?” he asked. “That’s a lot of pressure to put on one person.”

“That person doesn’t exist and will not exist,” you reminded him. “It’s just gonna be a hypothetical article in the prenup, that’s it.”

“And if we want a divorce—”

“When we have a divorce,” you corrected him and Bucky hummed.

“Any specific reque—”

“The weekend house,” you cut him off and he let out a small laugh.

“How long have you had your eye on it?”

“Oh, so long,” you said with a grin. “It’s really pretty.”

Bucky held up his hands, gesturing surrender. “It’s yours then."

“I mean I know I can’t just get it without giving something in return so how about you? What do you want in the divorce?”

“Nothing.”

You blinked a couple of times, gawking at him.

“You want nothing?” you asked him. “Bullshit. Say your price.”

“I don’t need anything.”

“You’re going to get me in the business and help me take over and you want nothing?” you insisted. “No fucking way. What is your game here?”

“I don’t have any.”

“Why are you doing this then?” you asked with a frown. “Seriously. What’s in it for you?”

“My reasons are my own.”

“Bucky…”

“But I do have one request now that you mention it,” he said and you nodded your head.

“Yeah tell me. What is it?”

“Throughout the time we stay married,” he said, taking a sip of his wine. “No sleeping with other people.”

“…I’m not going to sleep with you,” you managed to say after a pause and he shrugged his shoulders.

“We’re going into war with an outsider while pushing you to the top,” he said. “Any kind of issue in our marriage, including a whisper of a rumor could work against that. We need to present a united front to all the other families and our people. Can’t fight a war on that many fronts, you know that.”

As much as you hated to admit, as it turned out, Bucky was actually smart when it came to how things worked in business. You nibbled on your lip, trying to put your thoughts in order before sticking your nose in the air.

“That’s a two-way street,” you told him. “If I’m behaving like the perfect wife, you’re going to behave like the perfect husband.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Bucky, I’m serious,” you said, looking him in the eye. “Don’t go behind my back and make me kill your mistresses.”

“Don’t go behind my back and make me kill your boyfriends,” he replied and you took a deep breath, then downed your wine and stretched out your hand.

“Pleasure doing business with you,” you said and he chuckled, then reached out to take your hand into his, sending a pleasant warmth from your hand to your whole body.

“Likewise,” he said, his voice soft. “Let’s make you the queen, princess.”

You and Bucky decided to tell your family about your decision that weekend at their favorite restaurant. It would at least give you some time to get your story straight and you figured it would play into the lie; that you and Bucky had something for each other all along and once you got together you didn’t want to lose any time to get married.

Of course your closest friends were going to know about it, it would be impossible to keep it from Becca, Sarah, Steve and Sam because they’d had the first row to every single fight whenever you were within each other’s sight not to mention heard about how much you two disliked each other for years now.

But as far as anyone else was concerned, it was the happy ending to a decade long crush on both parts.

That night, you decided to stay in a hotel until the weekend. Not only did you not want to talk to Ian or your father, but it would also work in your favor; it was Bucky’s favorite hotel, it was in his territory and he would make sure to stay with you in the honeymoon suit every night until the weekend so you were pretty sure the rumors would reach your families way before you told them.

Your bodyguards were still on your father’s payroll after all.

You sipped your champagne, your feet propped up on the small coffee table across from the couch you were sitting on, the fluffy bathrobe wrapped tight around your body as you changed the channel on the TV but the knock on the door made you turn your head. Heaving a sigh, you pushed yourself off the bed and went to the door, then put a bright smile on your face and swung open the door.

“Finally!” you exclaimed, then gasped at the huge bouquet of roses Bucky was holding. “Oh my God!”

“Hi beautiful,” Bucky said with a smirk and you stole a look at both your father’s and Bucky’s men in the hallway, then turned to him.

“You shouldn’t have!” you giggled as you grabbed his arm to pull him into the suit, and closed the door behind him.

“Flowers are a nice touch,” you commented, the lovesick smile disappearing from your lips even if your heart did a happy flip and Bucky winked at you.

“I’m glad you like them,” he said as you took them from him, then walked to the open kitchen to pour water into the empty wine decanter before putting the flowers into it.

He leaned back to the kitchen island. “Did you talk to Becca yet?”

“Tomorrow,” you said. “I slept the whole day away today, barely did anything. Must be the stress after yesterday.”

“Is she serious with that girl by the way?” Bucky asked you. “Leila?”

“I’m not going to tell you anything about Becca.”

He tilted his head. “You and I are going to get married—”

“And she’s my best friend so she’s still above you on my loyalty list,” you pointed out. “Marriage is one thing, friendship is another.”

“Should I at least threaten the girl so that she doesn’t break her heart?” Bucky asked and you rolled your eyes.

“No, Leila is a sweetheart,” you said as you walked past him, then threw yourself on the couch to grab the remote. He followed you and rested his hands on the back of the couch you were sitting on, the closeness of his body making your stomach do a pleasant flip for some reason.

“So what are we watching?”

“We are not watching anything,” you said, trying to focus on the screen. “I’m watching The Bachelor.”

He let out a groan. “Seriously?”

“There’s another TV upstairs, go watch whatever you want to watch there,” you said, grabbing your champagne glass again and tilted your head back so that you could look at him, and Bucky shot you a mischievous grin.

“Marriage requires quality time together, Charm.”

“Who told you that lie?” you asked, turning your glances to the TV and he chuckled.

“Steve sent me an article about it today when I told him the news.”

“Not Sam?”

“No, Sam sent me the address of a great psychiatrist,” he said. “For couples therapy and marriage counseling.”

“That’s much more useful than an article,” you pointed out and he squeezed at your shoulder making your heart skip a beat.

“I’m going to take a shower,” he said as he walked to the hanging stairs and someone knocked on the door, making you frown and look at Bucky over your shoulder.

“Room service,” Bucky answered before you could ask. “I already know your favorite so I ordered for both of us.”

“How do you know my favorite?”

“I pay attention,” he said as he started climbing the stairs, unbuttoning his shirt. “Don’t open the door yet though, will you? Wouldn’t want my men to think I last five minutes.”

“I’m sure that would be an improvement for you,” you said with a scoff and he tsk tsked.

“If you want to see just how wrong you are, all you gotta do is ask nicely princess.”

“That will never happen!” you called out and slipped a little on the couch when you heard him close the bathroom door, then heaved a sigh.

“Great,” you muttered to yourself as the water started running. “My honeymoon should be so much fun.”

Chapter 10

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chubbycelebs · 10 months ago

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My Chocolate Factory Experience (pt 1)

The corridor was going on for ages. We’d just entered the factory and we’ve spent the first 10 minutes just walking down the corridor. All 6 of us, never had met any of them before. This was our first time meeting after being the 5 lucky winners of Wonka’s Chocolate Factory tour. As I looked down the line of boys I realised it was a good mix of very sexy men. All of them could’ve been my type.

Next to me a man called Aidan. Aidan was a rather tall guy, a bit more filled out than me, sporting a slight belly, that was pressed against his white shirt, jiggle slightly as we walked through the factory. His low cut T-shirt let the tops of his chest hair poke out that connected to a lush thick beard covering his face. His thick body and beard hair made up for the lack of on his head as he was completely bald, making his head look slightly egg like with his chubby face. From the brief conversations I’d had with him he seemed like a bit of a loser, not doing much with his life apart from getting take out and playing video games so it was no shock to him when he won his ticket. “I get a bar like everyday so to be honest wasn’t much of a shock when I opened one and it had a ticket in. I’m a sucker for these Wonka bars. Could eat them all day!” It was obvious he used to be quite good looking when he was younger, but his thinned hair and slowed metabolism made him look like a chubby loser.

Next to Aidan was an older man, Simon who was probably around 40 years old. Simon was quite chatty so was we were walking he told us a lot about his life. He worked on a farm, which made his naturally dirty look make some sense. He had a scruffy face, an untamed beard and messy hair. His outfit was no better, having several holes in it and seemed a little too snug around parts of his body. Simon said he spent a lot of the afternoon on his front deck drinking beer and eating bbq food which was evident in his figure. He had a rounded gut, thick hips and strong arms. I could picture him actually being good looking back when he was younger and more clean. But there was something quite attractive about his scruffy dad bod look. He said he was lucky to have won the competition to this factory, “I don’t eat much chcolate me” he said in a very Yorkshire accent, “but me son got me a bar and I opened it and there it was. The golden ticket. I offered it to him but he said nah. Heard stories about people coming here and changing but I don’t care. How often do you get to come somewhere like this eh?”

Next to him waddled the largest man here, Brian. Brain was a competitive eater who spent all day everyday expanding his stomach to each as much food as he could. Just by the looks of him he was probably around 300lbs. His limbs were rounded and he walked like his legs were too fat to be in this much use. He had a huge rounded gut that stuck right out and a large chest that sat on top of them. He covered his body the best he could with oversized clothes but I think he just wore them so he had some growing room today. He had a very round head and thick long brown hair. He had put his hair in a bun but I could tell it was very well looked after. Brian didn’t speak much to us all as he was huffing and puffing just walking down the long corridor let alone talking. We all knew how he got the ticket anyway it was obvious.

To my other side was my personal favourite guest on the tour, Jamie. To me Jamie was the sexiest one there.

His body was one of a man that seemed so strong and well built with a few hints of his greedy side. His arms were thick and his legs were so strong. Even his chest seemed to be pumped just by looking through his shirt. His stomach didn’t resemble abs however, to my delight he had a very sexy rounded stomach. It pushed against his top and every so often I’d look down to catch a glance. Hi stomach wasn’t the only thick thing about him however. He had the cutest and most perfect fat ass. It was so perfectly rounded and filled his jeans to the point they were slightly stretched. Oh the things I would do to this man. Jamie described his surprise when he won the ticket to the factory. “I hardly ever eat sweet stuff” I call bullshit “but the one day I do decide to reward my self with a chocolate bar I win a ticket! Must be the universe telling me something!” I think his blissful ignorance of his greedy habits was cute.

Then there’s me, Declan, a tall skinny guy, with messy brown hair and a defined face. There was nothing special about me compared to my bigger companions. I had a sprinkling of hair on my chest that lead down to my skinny hairy stomach. If anything I was too skinny and longed to be a bit bigger. I wasn’t skinny due to lack of trying. Infact the reason I even got to the factory was during one of my feeding sessions. “I had a friend over and we had ordered food for the evening and we were still hungry and I got the chocolate bar and won!” I couldn’t tell the group from the get go that I was with a feeder who was desperately trying to plump me up. Once I won the ticket however he encouraged me to go. Just like Simons son he had heard rumours of this factory changing people and I was here to explore what exactly would happen to us boys.

We were now approaching the end of the corridor and came to a grand brown door. Wonka, who had been very silent on our trip down the corridor, turned his head and looked at us all. “This my dear friends is possible the best room in the factory.” Wonka turned the keys in the doorway and placed his hand on handle. “This is my chocolate meadow.” Wonka pushed the door forward and a bright light blinded us all. Once our eyes adjusted we saw the most beautiful place. It was a huge room, with the brightest green grass and lush bushes and flowers. The outer wall was filled with large trees and that swirled upwards. There was something almost not real about it. It all seemed slightly fake. Past the opening of the meadow we saw the river. The river was chocolate. The thick river rushed through the scene and filled the air with its chocolatey goodness. “This room is just any old meadow my friends no. Everything in this room is edible. The grass the dirt the trees everything. I recommend you try everything. You’ll never get a chance like this again.” I heard a round of bellies rumbling. I looked down the line. Brian had his mouth wide open, almost drooling. Simon and Aidan were pointing and things in the room saying “I’m having that first!” “No way I’m gonna scoff that.” “Well then? What are you waiting for boys? Fill your bellies!” Wonka shouted as he moved into the room. With these words we all jumped forward and made our way into the room. I don’t think I’d ever see Brian run but his fat ass ran so fast towards the largest cherry bush there was. Aidan and Simon ran straight into the woods, grabbing on branches and low hanging fruits. I followed Jamie to the edge of the forest where he had sat him self down by a cluster of mushrooms. I watched as he picked one up and it burst with thick cream. He licked his hand and ate the whole thing in one. “Omg you’ve got to try this man!” He said his mouth still filled with cream. I sat next to him and grabbed one and started eating it. Oh he was so right it was so thick and rich and buttery and light. I’d never tasted anything like it.

I looked over at Brian and saw that he had eaten his way through the base of a tree and it had fallen into the meadow. He was going to town eating the whole trunk of the tree. “I’ve never seen anyone eat so much in my life” I said, kinda in shock, kind of impressed by how quickly Brian had devoured nearly a whole tree.

“I don’t know. Some days I get like that” Jamie said as he started grabbing handfuls of dirt. “I just get so hungry nothing can fill me up. Why I’ve still got this” he pats his belly and then gives it a little shake. My eyes are fixated on his gut now. Blood was rushing through my body. The thought of filling Jamie up, growing him large as he can’t control his urge to eat.

“Don’t think there’s any need to get rid of it though. It suits you. In fact it really looks hot on you” I say unable to hold back my urges.

“Ya think so?” Jamie says now lifting his shirt up. His stomach was rolled over the top of his jeans. His hairy belly was perfectly rounded and sat so cutely on his lap. I don’t think I’d ever seen a more perfect person to fatten up.

“Oh that gut is perfect” I say in response. I pry my eyes away to see Jamie smirking. I reach over to a mushroom and pick it off the ground. I bring it to his mouth and watch as he licks my hand clear of the cream. He pays extra attention to the tips of my fingers, sucking every last drop of the thick cream.

Jamie reaches out and grabs a handful of chocolatey dirt. “Your turn” he says almost threateningly. My heart skips. I let him push his hand against my lips and I open my mouth to allow for his fingers to enter. I lick every little bit of the dirt off his hand. In this moment it was common knowledge that we were both into this and we wanted to see where this could go.

Just then as we begin to lean closer to each other, we heard a huge splash. We both look over at the river bank. We don’t see anyone but the ripples on the surface of the river. We get up and run to the bank and see a chocolate covered Brian flapping around in the river. He is covered head to toe in thick chocolate. He was gasping for air everytime he came up, each gasp filling his mouth with more chocolate. Me and Jamie watched in shock as he kept flapping around. I was so interesting now to see what would happen to this hog. This is why I came here.

Wonka slowly approached us and looked into the river. “Oh dear oh dear. Belly too big he rolled right in there. I knew this hog would cause some issues” Wonka mocked the fat man. As the three of us kept on watching the man desperately try and get above the chocolate we noticed something was changing.

“Is he..?” Jamie starts.

“Getting fatter? Why yes my dear boy he is.” Brian was most definitely growing wider by the second. His oversized clothes had very much seen better days. His belly was expanding at such a rapid speed it struggled to keep up. It moved from the base of his belly up to his belly button and now moving upwards towards his huge chest. I’d never seen a man this fat before and I’ve seen a lot of fat men. “My chocolate is the smoothest and richest in the business and that is due to its high fat content. That’s why a lot of my customers have a bit of a gut going on” Wonka pokes Jamie’s slightly extended belly. He turns red in his cheeks. “However the volume in which our friend here is consuming my chocolate well let’s just say he’s going to be quite the whale when we get him out.” We carry on watching as the seams to Brains clothes start to stretch and rip. His wide hips are the first to break through, his soft fat bushing through and busting his trousers right off, exposing his monstrously huge legs. His jumper, which was too big for the man about 10 minutes ago, was no ripping as his chest got too big to contain. His huge moobs wobbled free as his jumper fell to shreds into the river. His belly was getting so wide he took up a lot of the surface of the river. “I think it’s time we let this fatty rest don’t you? Put up the dam!” Wonka shouts into the room. Just then about 10 very sexy and well build men come out of the woods and start working on constructing a damn at the top of the river.

“Where did they come from?” I ask looking around me to see if any more of these sexy men will come out to save the whale.

“These are my workers. I’ve hired men in the peak most form of human capability as it takes a lot of work to run my factory. And a lot of work to take care of you greedy boys huh?” Wonka jokes giving us both a nudge. I can see a glint of fear in Jamie’s eyes as he realises that we might not make it out this factory the same size we came in.

After a while the dam left the river running dry and all that was left was Brain at the bottom, probably 10x the size he was when he arrived. Brian was laid in his back, covered in chocolate. His naked body looked like a pile of melted chocolate ice cream. He was the fattest man I’d ever seen. His hairy gut and chest stuck upwards like huge globs of fat, yet also spread so far out he was probably wider then he is taller. His limbs so huge we could hardly see them. His head was just a little pin compared to his huge body. We heard his groaning as he tried to push him self up. “There’s no use fat ass” Wonka shouted to him. “You're too much of a lard arse to move your self now. I’ll get my workers to come and move your huge body.” The workers made their way down the river bank and into the bottom of it. We watched as the circled Brian’s huge body. The comparison in size from the immaculately shaped workers and the glob of fat that was Brian was insane. “Right then we should probably leave them to deal with the hog. Should we carry on or do you guys want to carry on- wait. There were 5 of you. Where are the other 2?”

New story series starting! Hope you guys enjoy this one. I’m trying something that I haven’t seen anyone done yet (not really this part probs part 2/3 is where it gets new) so stay tuned to see how our greedy boys end up!

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formulapookie · 7 months ago

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Under the cut to read on tumblr, here to read on Ao3 <3

I'll commit your every scar to my memory rosquez, 6k words

(set 2025)

Marc has been looking at himself in the mirror for twenty minutes now.

Inspecting for every micro feature which signaled he was getting older.

He doesn’t want to get older, he can’t.

All his career, his success had come when he was a kid and he had been nicknamed “alien” for it goddamnit.

youngest pole sitter, youngest podium finisher, youngest winner, youngest champion.

key word being young.

he doesn't feel old, but older, god yes. Everyday.

A new source of pain coming out, an old one resurfacing, the fear of falling behind, of not fitting in anymore and of running out of time.

All present and heavy on his body, which took the hit every time.

Why he thinks that, he isn’t sure.

But he feels like he must get everything now or it will all have been useless.

It’s been one year now since he and Vale reconciled, and nine months since they made their relationship official, but only to intimate friends and their families, since Marc was still a target in the paddock, and they both knew that having a gay relationship wasn’t exactly the greatest thing to share in a sport like theirs.

And while the respective families had reacted well (except for a bit of skepticism on Alex’s side) the Academy had been more bitter, especially Uccio, but it was to be expected since he is so obviously in love with Vale since the dawn of time.

The mirror in their room at the Ranch keeps reflecting his toned and muscled body, along with his freshly shaved face and regrowing curls.

If he has to be honest he isn’t the one who brought up the aging thing.

First Vale, at his birthday, after he was officially a Ducati factory rider for that year, telling him he was “growing up”, getting closer to 35.

And it terrified Marc.

Then his brother, joking about him retiring so that he could be the only Marquez on the grid “haste que tu y Mr doctor creéis un hijo con magia y aterroricen a MotoGP” (Until you and Mr Doctor will create a son with magic and terrorize MotoGP)

And finally Bezzecchi two weeks ago.

He was talking to Celestino, to which he seemed glued to the hip, almost symbiotic, as if they only existed one attached to the other.

“Sta invecchiando comunque, magari Vale con i gusti per i più piccoli che ha se ne trova uno più giovane e meno sfasciato” (He’s aging by the way, maybe Vale with his taste for younger people will find a younger and less broken one)

“Sei un coglione Marco dai” (Marco you’re a dickhead come on)

“Dico la verità, magari tra una settimana ci porta un ragazzetto di 20 anni che lo guarda con gli occhi a cuoricino e che non sia mezzo pieno di cicatrici” (I’m saying the truth, maybe in a week the he’ll come to us with a 20 year old boy who looks at him heart-eyed and who’s not half covered in scars)

“Immagini? Tanta fatica e poi se ne sbatte un altro”

(Can you imagine? So much trouble and he ends up fucking another guy)

“Sarebbe karma” (Would be karma)

Marc had been hidden behind the door throughout the whole conversation, and a wave of nausea and vomit overwhelmed him, causing him to rush silently to the toilet and throw up.

Maybe they were right.

He was getting older, Vale had said that himself, joking about his smile lines.

He had started exercising even more, buying more products for skincare and trying to act like he was 20 again.

And suddenly he didn’t feel pretty anymore, he just wanted to ride a couple laps on the dirt track and forget about it.

He looks at himself one last time, not failing to notice the faint line of a wrinkle in the corner of his eyes staring right back at him, menacing.

He puts on his gear, ignoring everyone in the kitchen and heading straight for the track, grabbing the bike with the bright orange “93” plastered on front.

It’s the best way to shut his mind off, it’s just him and the track, the bike being a direct extension of his body.

He completes ten, twelve, fifteen laps then he slips, bike flying out of his hands and his body tumbling down in the dirt.

His arm hurts, but his brain aches more.

Finished finished finished.

He goes to grab the bike to climb on it again when he feels a pair of arms around his body. Vale.

“Are you ok Marc? Do I need to grab your painkillers? I’ll help you back on the bike if-” the older one gets cut off harshly by Marc, who has pain in his eyes

“I can still do things Valentino you know?”

He's angry, his tone bitter and his words harsh.

He’s not like that and Vale knows, he’s tender when they speak, they’ve hurt each other way too much already to be cruel to one another now.

Vale has a concerned expression painted on his face, his eyes quickly running to Marc’s right arm, then to his face again.

“Let me get up”

“Ok but-“

“I want to do some other laps let me do them”

it’s not a plea, or a begging, his voice is resolute and firm.

Vale is visibly worried, but lets him.

He looks as Marc gets back on the bike and restarts, the corner of his eyes caught by Bezz and Celin giggling between themselves.

Marc gets off the bike after one hour, when his body cannot take it anymore and his brain is foggy enough with thoughts about breaking, turning, speeding.

He leaves the bike in the garage, stripping out of his leathers, the only clothing underneath a sleeveless adherent black top, half dirty from soil and grass.

And just when he was convinced to have sedated the thoughts for at least a good few hours his eyes trace the outline of his scar, dead tissue on his arm.

He goes to their bedroom bathroom quickly, to avoid more sensations to overwhelm him, getting into the shower and turning the hot water on, letting it rinse away scenarios where he’s not present in Vale’s future. He spends at least twenty minutes under the water, washing himself carefully and almost trying to clean away the scars littering his body, obviously without succeeding.

As he gets out of the bathroom he’s only wearing a towel around his hips, and he inevitably meets his reflection staring back at him from the mirror.

He wants so desperately to see the 20 year old wonderkid he used to be, but that’s his past. Marc knows time passes for everyone, it takes from you, sometimes more than it should, sometimes it’s harsher on your body and sometimes on your soul.

He isn’t fucking eighty he knows that but still. He’s grown. He’s not the starstruck kid Vale first met and with whom shared many nights during their rivalry.

He’s a grown man now, he looks different, he can see the tiredness in his own eyes, pain sometimes so much it eats his body whole, the same pain which has him stay awake some nights.

And he knows Vale is older than him but Vale is also Vale and no one in their right mind would ever question his capacities or greatness, not even if he was 90.

And like Bezzecchi said he had a taste for youngsters, full of life and ready to do whatever he said as if it was a command.

He used to be one of those, but now…

He hears his name getting called downstairs for dinner, yells back he’s getting dressed and will soon be there.

He avoids the mirror while changing, his body feels wrong every time he tries to look at it, his face transpires the worry sleeping in his chest.

They all eat together, Pecco is there too, he’s getting used to sharing spaces with his future teammate which is good, but Bezzecchi is there too, casting funny glances at his best friend making them both giggle while sometimes looking over at Marc. He speaks maybe four words during the whole dinner, his brain feeling like it’s underwater and needs to be saved from drowning into the abyss.

As they finish eating he helps clean up the table and when he’s proposed to stay and watch a movie he fakes a headache, heading upstairs and leaving the academy to enjoy their time.

Not even two minutes later he’s in his boxers under the sheets, back turned to the glassy hell his mirror has become.

He hears the door opening and quiet steps making their way to him.

“Ei amore, everything ok?”

Vale’s tone is tender and caring, something which only surfaced once they reconciled, a side of Vale making him humane, not the cold and distant concept of a God Marc still had in the back of his mind.

It was good in a way, but on the other hand it made him feel weak, like he needed to be spoken softly otherwise he would’ve broken like glass.

“Si, I’m a bit tired and have a headache, can we just…can we just sleep?”

It was the most obvious of the answers, the fakest one, and yet the only one he could give him at that moment.

Valentino nods, taking off his shirt and pants and climbing into bed, Marc laying his head on Vale’s stomach, feeling the man’s hand stroke his curls gently.

Valentino is tired too, he had to follow an event all day and close a contract for VR46, he falls asleep in a half hour, while Marc has his eyes wide open in the darkness of a night lightened only by a pale moon in the distant sky.

He hears his mind speaking again, telling him how he’s not himself anymore, he’s not what Vale wants and he’s not the best Vale can have, because afterall he is THE Valentino Rossi and everyone wants a piece of him and Vale could feel entitled to request a piece of every one just because of who he is.

You’re not the one Vale deserves.

He could have them younger, prettier, faster, better.

He could have someone he can be seen with, with someone he could bring to races and shit like it was normal to do.

He could have someone who didn’t try to fight him so hard back then.

A new rookie maybe, fast, magnetic, idolizing him.

Vale would have every right to just let him go to find someone who doesn’t look so broken, who doesn’t risk getting more and more broken every week.

Perhaps he wants children.

And well for how much you can adopt kids maybe, no surely, Vale wants his kid to look and be like him.

Marc doesn’t cry, but just because he’s too afraid of waking Vale up, and surely seeing him acting so pathetic would be the last straw Vale would need to leave him and go find someone else.

So he doesn’t, he cries a lot internally, he tries to trace every mole on Valenitno’s body because he’s so afraid that in a matter of time he’ll be unable to see him like this again.

or feel the heat of his body next to his own.

Afraid to wake up without the smell of his shampoo or go to sleep missing the pair of arms that are holding him at this moment.

He manages to fall asleep after more than an hour, thoughts feasting on his brain like worms on a carcass, the same word echoing endlessly in his mind.

useless

He wakes up to an empty bed, no sign of Valentino in the room whatsoever, and he imagines his life could become like this in a matter of time.

He doesn’t understand how those little comments managed to get under his skin so much, he had never been the one to take those things to heart because…

because he had never actually believed any of that shit talk before.

But now he’s the first one to think that, the first to indulge on it.

He can feel a sense of inadequacy crawling in bed with him, wrapping his hands around his throat and slowly depriving him of the chance to breathe.

It’s burning and it hurts like hell, it’s ugly.

He scrambles to the bathroom, throwing up bent over the toilet, coughing and sniffing like during the worst hangover of his life.

He can make out rushed steps coming to the door, Valentino crouching down to level himself with Marc, stroking his hair and back, worry painted in his eyes.

“Marc, do you want me to get you something? Are you ok?”

Weak, undeserving, not enough

That fuckin voice doesn’t shut up goddamnit, it haunts his mind and poisons everything coming in close contact with him.

What if it can poison Vale?

What if by standing so close to Marc he’ll end up being corrupted by this voice?

No no no, he’d rather suffer alone and watch Vale be happy with someone else rather than seeing him hurting.

Because that’s what Marc is when it comes to who he loves.

Selfless, adoring and ready to let go, because he knows he’s not an easy person to put up with so he never pushes.

“No I’m ok I just didn’t digest dinner well that’s all”

“Marc”

“I told you it was yesterday’s dinner Vale, I’m already feeling better, see?”

And he smiles, the fake PR smile Vale has seen hundreds of times, he could recognise Marc’s true smile in a crowd full of people, his laugh in a room filled with clowns and most of all he could recognise Marc hurting in a massacre.

His eyes are lifeless, a veil of something trapping the joy and happiness inside, not letting them see the sun.

“Marc tell me what’s going on because you’re not ok and I am not letting you leave the room until you’ve told me what’s happening”

“I decide if I can get out of the room or not Vale, you’re not my mom, I told you i’m ok so let me go thank you”

Vale wants to stop him but he knows it would be worse, Marc would shut down and respond robotically to questions he dreads to know the real answer to.

“Marc. I won’t force you ok? But please tell me what’s going on, you look-”

“I know what I look like there’s no need to tell me”

Marc thinks of old, spent, expired, outdated.

All different words to mean only one thing.

undesirable.

And weak.

He fucking threw up in front of Vale, he almost had tears in his eyes, he had to come up with his fake smile he knew Vale would recognise, he’s so fucking stupid god how can he act like that and hope to still have a chance in keeping Vale.

He gets past him, putting on a pair of joggers and a short sleeved shirt of his and walks out the room, grabbing his biker boots and protective jacket by the entrance and putting them on, ignoring the boys sitting in the living room looking at him with curiosity.

Probably he yelled before, and they heard him.

Amazing.

He slams the door shut behind him and goes to grab his street bike.

Once he’s put the helmet on he’s alone.

Truly alone.

No other voices or sounds, not even the one in his head.

It’s quiet, like one of the earliest nights he remembers sharing with Valentino, the one in Aragon perhaps, or the many in between races when they could wander off in one of Vale’s secret spots and share everything, even the silence.

He starts the bike and goes for a ride, a long one, he didn’t bring his phone with him so he doesn't know how long precisely.

He comes back home once he’s hungry and beginning to feel tired.

Once again he doesn’t dwell on the academy boys watching him, he can only imagine what they’re saying.

He doesn’t let the thoughts come to him this time though, he just heads straight for the shower and gets ready for lunch.

Vale is an amazing cook, he prepared something that smells delicious, but Marc can’t eat more than half a plate before already feeling nauseous.

He eats everything anyway, he doesn’t want to upset Vale more, so he forces every fork until he clears the plate.

“Vale” it’s Bezzecchi’s voice, he has a strange tone to it “how’s Pedro? didn’t you say he should come to the ranch soon? To see what he’s capable of off track?”

Marc doesn’t want to suppose things, but the way he says the last sentence sends shivers down his spine

20, fast, starstruck by Vale, not half covered in scars.

Check, check, check, check.

The qualities Bezzecchi talked about a few weeks prior are all part of Pedro.

Marc excuses himself from the table for the second time in a row, feeling bad about doubting Vale but also not holding him responsible if that came up to be the case.

He had said it himself he was now the past of MotoGP, and Pedro the future.

Bezzecchi cackles from the table, Celestino elbows him in his ribcage, earning a harsh stare from his friend.

Vale just sits at the table, looking in the direction Marc had disappeared to, trying to understand what was going on with his boyfriend, because he truly has no idea and is scared something had happened outside of the peace of the Ranch, maybe someone finding out about them and threatening Marc to reveal their relationship to the public.

He decides to leave him alone for a while, maybe he’s just not used to having all these people around all the time and needs his space, a moment alone to quiet down his brain.

He spends the afternoon with the boys, racing around the track, checking and analyzing data and talking about Bezz’s newfound harmony with Aprilia.

The clock hits eight pm and they’re all hungry as hell, so the boys quickly make their way to the bedrooms to take their showers and change, since they also decided to go out tonight for a party held by one of Bezz’s DJ friends.

Meanwhile Marc had stayed in the room the whole time, spending half of it crying his eyes out because he couldn’t stop thinking about what if Valentino actually decided to break up with him again and the feeling of emptiness he would feel eventually.

The other half he spent it trying to understand how to make himself look younger for Vale, which clothes to wear, how to act, to talk, to lie when his arm hurt while they were having sex.

Fucking pathetic

He wishes he could tear his brain outside of his skull, anything not to hear that sharp voice commenting his every move and look, he just wants the world inside his mind to shut the hell up and leave him be, at least for a few hours, just that.

A few hours where he doesn’t have to worry about being abandoned by the one person he loves more than life.

A few hours where he can love himself again.

But his brain doesn’t concede him neither those few hours, it’s a machine programmed to drive him insane, unstoppable.

Vale knocks on the door, he recognises their passcode, never changed during all those years spent together.

“Dinner is in five minutes, are you coming?”

“Yes yes, just let me get dressed and I’ll be there”

“Ok, see you downstairs amore”

It cuts deep, the bug whispering in his ear the word amore is just a way to keep him close for need, not driven by real feelings.

He comes down two minutes later, a simple pair of shorts and a t-shirt he stole from Vale not so long ago, still smelling like him.

He smiles softly at the man, sitting beside him, across Pecco, who greets him with a nod.

The boys eat in a rush, not speaking a word, apparently they were supposed to meet some other guys by nine and they’re never going to make it on time.

They practically absorb their food and are out the door in twenty minutes, in Luca’s car off to the bar they set as a rendez-vous point.

And so he and Vale are left alone.

He doesn't know how long it’s been since the last time they were completely alone, not even that annoying guard dog of Uccio staining the environment.

“You’re really beautiful tonight amore”

Lie

“My shirt looks really pretty on you, makes you look smaller”

He doesn’t actually like it

“Want to go upstairs?”

He just needs a release, not you.

“Yeah sure” he’s convincing, Vale doesn’t seem to notice his body twitching when his fingers touch his arm.

They reach their bedroom, Vale guiding Marc towards the bed, hands running under the stolen shirt to go catch on his abs, fingers looking for a strong grip.

They share a sweet kiss, nothing like the ones shared after their battles on track, quick, charged and filled with need.

Marc knows Vale wants those back, not these ones, too plain and domestic for him to ever like.

So he tries to pull the switch, biting at Vale’s lip, pressing himself against him, backing up until his body is caged between the wall and Valentino, who looks rather surprised at the sudden change of attitude.

“Fuck me Vale come on” it feels dirty, demanding, but that was exactly like he was back then, and he so desperately needs to feel like that again.

Vale’s lips are on his neck, biting and sucking hard, matching Marc’s tone.

It’s not what he wants, it’s what Vale wants.

And that is enough for him, he’ll just try to enjoy what was probably going to be one of the last nights together, and he didn’t want Valentino to resent him for it too.

He’ll just have to relax, think about Vale’s happiness and take it.

After one particularly harsh bite he winces, but so quickly Vale cannot register it while dragging him to bed.

The grip on his wrist is strong, possessive, needy.

It’s what Vale wants, stop being fucking selfish and let him have it.

The voice is right, he cannot be selfish and wish for Vale to stick around out of pity.

He needs to earn his lover back, who cares if he has to do things he doesn’t want to do?

In the end it’s all for love.

He lets Valentino undress him, sharp teeth attacking his nipple, making him moan loudly, he’s exaggerating a bit his actions but it’s for a good cause.

He keeps repeating to himself this is ok to do, he really wants to please Vale, it’s not bad, he used to like the sharpness and rush of adrenaline that came with battling on track so why should this be different?

He feels Vale’s hand cupping him through his boxers and he thrusts his hips up, eyes closed and hands gripping both on Vale’s hair and back, keeping him there.

“You smell so good Marc, never going to let you go”

And that’s where Marc loses his battle with himself.

He tries to keep it in but a sob comes out anyway, a tear rolling out of his eye and ending up on the pillow underneath his head.

And Vale knows Marc. He knows the difference between a sob due to pleasure and this.

This is not Marc enjoying it so much he cries, this is Marc not enjoying it at all.

He stops, getting up and sitting in front of Marc who has his eyes closed, hands balled into fists and his mouth shut in a rigid and thin line.

He’s fucked it up, he let his own feelings ruin everything again.

He doesn’t want to look at Vale, to see the disappointment and displeasure which surely the older has in his eyes right now.

He can’t bear to see how pathetic he is in Valentino’s eyes.

You ruined it for him, good job.

His head echoes with this thought, he was almost there, so close to faking it perfectly but he had to fucking cry.

He didn’t even cry in front of Vale when he told the world he hated him and he should be off the sport, but he cries for this.

“Marc?” Valentino’s voice is filled with something, it sounds like concern, fear almost.

“Marc, would you open your eyes?” no he can’t he fucking can’t because they’re filled with tears that are just going to spill out if he does, he doesn’t want that, he doesn’t want Vale to see him weak and scarred and broken.

“Amore please, what’s going on? Did I hurt you? I’m sorry if I did just please open your eyes and tell me”

There, now Vale even thinks it’s his own fault, amazing, really fucking amazing, another step towards separation.

Vale is so fucking worried right now, Marc is practically crying in front of him, trying to hold his tears in to seem tough but his body is shivering and his lips already trembling.

If he seriously went overboard and hurt him he’s going to punch himself in the face, he would never want to wound Marc.

“Amore?” It sounds like a plea, and it is, he’s begging for an answer, because he has to know what he’s done wrong.

Was he too harsh? Too demanding? Did he hurt his arm? How many possible things may he have done wrong?

Marc gathers what little forces he has left and props himself up, sitting on the bed and opening his eyes, but he doesn’t look at Vale.

He wouldn’t be able to see him even if he wanted to, tears clouding his vision and falling on the bed.

Vale grabs the shirt he discarded earlier on the bed, the one with a wrinkled 46 printed in front in a now not so bright yellow font.

“You’re shivering Marc put this on, you’ll get sick if you don’t” he lets Vale dress him, he feels like he doesn’t have control on his body and it makes him go insane.

He always needs to have control, otherwise how can he handle reality?

He finally manages to look up at Vale, and the man can see the pain rooted deep into his stare, and he aches.

He aches because how could he not notice how much Marc was truly hurting? His eyes look like the ones he had back in 2014, after the press conference where he first broke his heart.

God that stare, the haunted gaze he had that day, it will haunt him forever.

A kid, he was a kid and he managed to kill him.

And now he looks like that kid again. Confused, hurt, crushed and dead.

“I-I’m sorry I ruined it Vale, I didn’t mean to I-” he stops, a hiccup interrupting his words “I can’t I’m not what you need right now and I get it” What was he saying? What does he mean not what Vale needed? He is everything Vale needs and way more than what he deserves.

“I just…I thought I could at least still let you have this but I can’t even fucking bring myself to ignore myself for this while”

Vale is so confused right now, because he doesn’t understand. Why is Marc talking like he’s going to fucking die in a minute? Why should he ignore himself?

He has so many questions but he cannot even pose one, his lips sealed by incredulity.

And Marc on the other hand feels like he isn’t even deserving of an answer, he wants to scream and cry and beg Vale for a chance, but he doesn’t.

Finally Vale manages to speak up, the feeling of instability being suppressed by the need to understand what was killing Marc’s mind.

“Marc, what are you saying? let me have what? you didn’t ruin everything and what’s with the 'I'm not what you need’ thing?”

It looks so real to Marc now, the concern and the preoccupation radiating from Vale.

You failed him, you just had to shut up and endured and you fai-

For the first time this week he manages to shut the voice up, sending it back to the hell it came from long enough to be aware of the fact Vale really cares about him.

He breaks down, crying in front of the man he loves for the first time.

It’s ugly and messy, and he’s fuckinging exhausted, he wants to hold Vale, he wants to be held by him, he needs to feel at home.

And even if he doesn’t say that explicitly Vale gets it, he throws his arms around the boy, keeping him there for a while, not bothering to check how long, he places him on his lap, Marc’s ruffled hair tickling his neck as he continues sobbing into his collarbone, shoulders shivering at every sound.

He gets his head up from Vale’s neck, and fixes his gaze on Vale’s.

“Please Vale promise me you won’t leave me for someone younger and prettier, because I know you could do that anytime if you wanted because you deserve it but please don’t, I know I’m not beautiful like before and that I’m broken now and that you should be with someone who doesn’t hurt himself every week and I know I can’t do what I did before in bed but I swear I’ll try to do it again, and and I get it you could have anyone because you’re you but I only want you please please I love you I can’t let you go I need to be with you I know it’s so pathetic and dumb but I beg of you don’t leave me”

He rushes his words out, one attached to the other not caring anymore if he sounds weak, his face is now completely wet with tears and Vale’s shirt is soaked as well, but he doesn’t care, it feels like he let go of an enormous weight and is finally free.

Vale's answer comes like a helping hand to a drowning person, the hand that grabs yours and drags you out of the angry waves keeping you underwater, your lungs burning.

“Marc I- I don’t even know where to start I mean…why would I ever leave you if you’re the best thing I ever got the chance to have in my life? Why would I need someone younger when I have you and how could I want someone prettier when no one’s more perfect than you?

You’re right you’re not as beautiful as before, you’re far more breathtaking now, and you’re everything but broken, do you think that just because you fell and injured yourself you aren’t attractive to me anymore? Those scars symbolize you never giving up. They are one of the most attractive things you have, amore.

Marc I don’t care if we cannot have that rushed sex we used to have when we raced together, I love what we do now, I adore it, I feel much more connected to you, back then it was adrenaline and desire, now it’s love and need, I wouldn’t trade it for any sum on money in the world you must know this, I would never want to hurt you or force you to have sex with me if it hurts you, ok?

And I don’t fucking care I am who I am, or the fact I could have anyone else because

I. have. you.

And you’re the only one I want or need or dream about sharing my life with, you get it?

I love you Marc Marquez and I’ll be damned if I let these thoughts get to you and make you act like that.

I’m never going to leave unless you want me to, because I already left once and I hurt you and myself and I cannot go through it again.

It was the worst period of my life because I looked for you every night and you weren’t there, because of me.

I should be the on worrying about you leaving me because of what I did, never never never the opposite”

And now Vale is crying too, his eyes holding onto Marc’s gaze like his life depends on it, like he needs an answer to breathe again, because he too feels like he’s drowning and being brought to safety by his lover.

“You still love me? You swear?” It sounds so feeble and desperate Vale wants to open his chest with his bare hands and gift Marc his heart as proof of his love, because the only way he could doubt his love for him would be Vale not showing it enough, not doing everything the boy needed to feel loved.

“Of course I still love you Marc, I never stopped, and I never will, I want to share my whole life with you, you are my star and I will never let you say those things about yourself again, got it?”

“Even if I’m older now? I’ve got scars and lines and I look-”

“You look perfect. Listen I know I said I don’t believe in therapy and all that shit but I just- it’s just I didn’t like what they told me there and I decided to shit on it, but it actually helped me realize I still loved you and if you need to go there to understand how much I love you I’ll pay for it, I’ll bring you to your appointments and I’ll accept whatever outcome you get from it”

It feels good now, to Marc. It’s like he got dragged out of a stormy ocean onto a tropical beach, sunny, warm, quiet and calm.

Quiet.

No wretched voice demonizing or belittling him, just Vale, the only other presence on his dream beach, so close to him he can feel their hearts beating in unison.

He locks his fingers with Vale’s, a soft smile forming on his lips.

“Yeah I- I want to go, because I don’t want to feel like this again, I need to free my mind. Do you understand me? It’s so full it feels like it’s going to explode”

Yes, Vale knows. He’s gone through it more than he likes to admit, and he just nods, pulling Marc even closer, pressing a sweet kiss on his forehead, feeling the boy relax under his touch.

Marc tilts his head, looking up at Vale, and goes to plant a soft kiss on the man’s lips.

No rush, no lust, nothing except deep love and trust, a feeling of peace hovering over the couple who drifts to sleep together, Marc being able to dream of a beautiful snippet of his life with Vale, them together at the Ranch, not worrying anymore about hiding because Marc is retired and nobody will say anything, Stitch and Shira running after a kid with big blue eyes in the garden, the academy boys discussing who’s the favorite uncle.

Marc and Valentino holding hands, Marc’s head on Vale’s shoulder as they look at the little girl laughing, playing with the dogs and the grass.

It’s domestic, soft, and quiet.

So quiet.

The only sound being the laughter coming from their friends and families and the dogs panting behind the buzzing girl.

She looks like Vale.

She calls him and Marc picks her up, she smiles, they’re happy.

There’s no need to worry anymore, Vale never left him, Marc neither, they went through Marc’s insecurities together, they didn’t let go of eachother.

In the real world Valentino is smiling, putting Marc to bed, covering him with their sheets, dreaming of the same thing.

A life, a future with Marc.

#alice writes #my fic <3 #rosquez #angst #lots of angst #tw throwing up #tw self hate #tw intrusive thoughts #marc marquez #valentino rossi #bezz #celin #pecco #vr46 riders academy #motogp fic #motogp rpf

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a-dauntless-daffodil · 1 year ago

Note

When Charlie is depressed, Vaggie holds her and sings her own version of "Cheer Up, Charlie" from "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory". The rest of the staff have secretly witnessed this at one point or another, but never speak of it because they'll never admit that seeing the princess being sung to by her girlfriend made them cry.

only for Charlie (and their hypothetical unborn child) will Vaggie do this,

and only Charlie (and their hypothetical unborn child) can witness her doing this and live in safety afterwards

unfortunately for Vaggie, there are other people living with them now (friends) (found family) (Those Pests) (who she and charlie would die for)

-and THEY have a bad knack for being bored and snooping on moments they clearly shouldn't

(being fair angel thought vaggie was cheering charlie up in a total different way and would've been less embarrassed listening in if they HAD being doing what he thought)

(being fair to husk when angel drags him over to listen too, Vaggie's gay af cover and clearly love stuck voice gives the song a whole new vibe)

after that no one else can be blamed for humming the song. you can't escape it once the bartender has the earworm

and here follows a very jumpy day of a them all trying not to hum the song where VAGGIE will see it's THEM humming it, (like a deadly game of marco polo or freeze tag) because she makes up for only having one eye with a truly terrifying glare and hell help anyone who doesn't stop the split second before her head whips around to stare at them suspiciously. her spear, also suspiciously, stays in hand the whole day

a successfully cheered up Charlie (and Vaggie is sO relieved to see that, consequences be damned) trots by at one point like Wow The Hotel Just Feels So CHEERFUL Today!!! Am Missing Something Or Is Everyone Else Feeling Extra Happy??

everyone looks from her to Vaggie (or rather, vaggie's very pointed spear)

and they all agree (angel gags niffty before she can say otherwise) that they're just So Happy Today. Yes. Yep. That's all that's going on here. Nothing else at all

Charlie waltz's off (literally) with Vaggie stalking after her while shooting one more (probably not literally?) murderous glare over her shoulder

and no one got hurt! yay!!!

(it's prime blackmail material, on the partner of the princess of HELL no less, and they all gather at the bar to swear each other to secrecy) (not because of vaggie's glares or spear) (absolutely because of the painfully sappy look she got when she looked back at the honest to gay frolicking Charlie)

(imagine charlie and vaggie trying to save their souls meanwhile they're all muttering together: these two are such Idiots about each other, We Need To Protect Them From Their Own Stupid Love. but like, for selfish reasons. of course)

a week later alastor tries playing a snippet of the original song around vaggie just to see what happens

he decides, very CASUALLY, not to do that again. and to keep in mind the fact that charlie's hotel manager can snap a solid oak banister with one hand

(he likes his microphone in one piece thank you) (and his antlers) (and his Neck)

#hazbin hotel #chaggie #charlie morningstar #vaggie #the hazbin hotel family crew #i think they exist to make vaggie suffer #and none of them would have it any other way #THE AMMOUNT OF LOVE SHE HAS FOR CHARLIE #TO SING THAT SONG #100% EARNESTLY #probably what gets charlie to cheer up tbh #<3

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juno-box · 25 days ago

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<3 my unpop twdg opinions

As I write my fanfiction, I tend to wonder. Here’s some opinions I leave you to ponder (aka don’t jump me in the streets of Gotham)

1. Instead of the 400 cast we got (Wyatt, Shel, Russell, etc.) we should’ve gotten the Cabin group instead.

A common consensus within the fandom is that the 400 days group was wasted, saved for mere background cameos that remind you that “Hey! Remember these guys from the DLC! They’re here! And… they’re set dressing with a few determinant dialogue lines, sorry.”

Another common thing I hear people say is that the 400 Days group should’ve been the Cabin crew we got in Season 2. Which, I’ll admit would’ve actually made sense. You gave us a lot of compelling mofos in 400 Days (Wyatt & Eddie, Russell & Nate are my favorites) but did really nothing at all with them other than have Becca not like Sarah.

But I never really hear people say that the Cabin crew should’ve been the 400 group we got in the DLC. Which I’ll probably be the 2nd or 3rd person to say it then: we should’ve got them in 400 Days instead.

2. Kenny should not have appeared in Season 2, there I said it.

From the minute Kenny reappeared, he stole the spotlight from the whole cast. Which is a bad thing.

It felt like the “What would appeal to Kenny” game from there on out. Characters became essentially irrelevant. Like Nick, prime example. There is NO difference if you save him in Episode or not—he is a warm body from Episode 3 to 4. And he’s doomed with the infamous off-camera death.

Luke is pretty much AWOL ½ of Episode 3. And when he comes back, he’s… not the same, in my honest opinion. It’s not so much as things are changing and change him in return so much as he doesn’t “act right”.

They disrespected the hell out of poor Sarah. Her second death is forgotten in picoseconds once AJ is born. And knowing that internally the team hated her puts how badly she’s treated in-canon into so much perspective.

But enough about how everyone’s development and attention got soaked up by Kenneth. Let’s talk about how in the same episode he’s reintroduced they nuke his character development from Season 1. I mean they NUKE (pun intended) it all the way back to S1E2 Kenny. He’s selfish, more hostile. Remember how in S1E5 when Kenny goes down to try and rescue Ben? Now jumped to S2E2 and how he remembers it. If you saved Ben in S1E4 then you know exactly what line I’m talking about. That should’ve set off alarm bells to any TWDG analyzer.

Kenny goes on throughout the second season repeating the exact same character arc beats he did the previous season, only worse. He loses a shelter, then a lover, he falls back into a depression, he’s back to being hostile to his group, and only at the end of the season does he do something truly selfless for the final benefit of the protagonist (not referring to him saving Clementine from a beating, I meant the final sacrifice).

What was point of reviving Kenny if you were just going to retell the same story he went through last season? And just factory reset his progress before you did? Now, don’t get me wrong—maybe Kenny could have worked in this season. But focusing so much around him was such a stuuuupid decision because he stole so much cruciality from the new cast and made so many of them irrelevant by accident. I really feel like if the focus was on these new people, in this new group, fleshed out and honed this season would’ve been a bit more better than the legacy it left.

3. The New Frontier is @#$%-ing stupid holy Mackerel-

Okay. So I talk about ANF a lot. It’s a season I have a love/hate relationship with solely because of how easily it could’ve been fixed in my personal opinion. It has so many interesting characters that were absolutely positively fumbled it’s unreal.

But The New Frontier, the big baddies of Season 3, the namesake of the season? Are the most un-fleshed out factions in TWD’s comic universe… holy shit are these people dysfunctional.

Firstly, let’s start with the leaders. Joan, the group mouth piece. She handles contact with surrounding settlements. Other than that it seems like she does… nothing else. That’s not me being hyperbolic—she does nothing else. Which isn’t a bad thing. The community has 4 leaders with 4 specific skillsets. Clinton is the agricultural lead, David’s the head of defense, and Lingard’s in charge of medical.

But why does everyone treat Joan like she’s the HBIC? Aren’t the four of you in charge of Richmond’s council? Why does she get the final say in everything no matter what?

When David takes Javi to meet the rest of the council, Joan and Clint out rule David. Even though the vote should be split because even though he’s not physically present; Lingard said his vote is with whatever David sides with. So that’s 2v2 not 2v1.

Lingard’s "head of" title doesn’t even make sense when you realize there’s only Lingard tending to people in Richmond. How is he head of medical if he’s the only man in medical (prior to meeting Eleanor). Unless there's other medics in Richmond who're just invisible and unseen. But I digress we love our crackhead doctor here.

When you confront Joan the second time in the church, it STILL makes no sense. Where do I even start? The fact that even if you have Max with you and he can PROVE that the raids were not from the guy in-charge of soldiers but from Joan, Clint and Lingard STILL fence sit. Even when Javi reveals TWICE that Joan’s actions got David’s daughter executed, she straight up writes Mariana off as collateral. How did neither Clint nor Lingard go “...Hold on a second, JOan that's uncool.”

Joan cannot be THAT manipulative when the proof in the black forest gateau is sitting you guys right in the face. I could see if I killed Max, meaning the only guy who would be willing to confess wasn’t even alive. Then sure yeah, the cards aren’t in my favor.

But I have proof, Joan ADMITS IT, and yet Lingard’s too whipped to say anything that’ll help out the guy who saved his life, and Clint’s a bonafied dunce for some reason. I don’t even understand why Clint was fence sitting in the first place, he has no motive other that the "plot demands he doesn’t intervene".

The hypocrisy is insane with them, too. The most notable case being The NF vs. Clementine.

So Clementine’s in the wrong for (determinantly) stealing meds for AJ. Alright, I’ve written before how I see where the New Frontier is coming from in my David woobifying post a while back. Okay, stealing is wrong. Yeah.

But then that all falls out the window when your ONLY doctor is getting white boy wasted presumably off the community’s supply of meds. The holier-than-thou committee cannot play the “no thieves” card when your head doctor is OD’ing on half of the goddamn Percocet supply in the medical tent. It just doesn’t work.

And it REALLY doesn’t work when you, David, already KNOW that he does that shit! Often! Insert obligatory David x Lingard quip here, but in all realness you cannot acknowledge Lingard is the biggest meds thief in the New Frontier and try to hide him and his dirty laundry before the other’s see him then turn around and pretend that Clementine’s the one bleeding your pockets dry and ruining your trust.

Feel absolutely free to add onto these opinions of mine bcause I refuse to be alone on this

#twdg #the walking dead game #telltale the walking dead #the walking dead telltale #twdg a new frontier #twdg 400 days #twdg s2 #twdg clementine #twdg kenny #twdg david #twdg lingard #twdg joan #twdg clint #twdg luke #twdg nick #twdg sarah #twdg aj

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astrangetorpedo · 10 months ago

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Julien Baker Track by Track - An Interview with Apple Music

“Everybody is scared of death or ultimate oblivion, whether you want to admit it or not,” Julien Baker tells Apple Music. “That’s motivated by a fear of uncertainty, of what’s beyond our realm of understanding—whatever it feels like to be dead or before we're born, that liminal space. It's the root of so much escapism.”

On her third full-length, Baker embraces fuller arrangements and a full-band approach, without sacrificing any of the intimacy that galvanised her earlier work. The result is at once a cathartic and unabashedly bleak look at how we distract ourselves from the darkness of voids both large and small, universal and personal.

“It was easier to just write for the means of sifting through personal difficulties,” she says. “There were a lot of paradigm shifts in my understanding of the world in 2019 that were really painful. I think one of the easiest ways to overcome your pain is to assign significance to it. But sometimes, things are awful with no explanation, and to intellectualise them kind of invalidates the realness of the suffering. I just let things be sad.”

Here, the Tennessee singer-songwriter walks us through the album track by track.

Hardline

“It’s more of a confession booth song, which a lot of these are. I feel like whenever I imagine myself in a pulpit, I don't have a lot to say that's honest or useful. And when I imagine myself in a position of disclosing, in order to bring me closer to a person, that's when I have a lot to say.”

Heatwave

“I wrote it about being stuck in traffic and having a full-on panic attack. But what was causing the delay was just this car that had a factory defect and bomb-style exploded. I was like, ‘Man, someone got incinerated. A family maybe.’ The song feels like a fall, but it's born from the second verse where I feel like I'm just walking around with my knees in gravel or whatever the verse in Isaiah happens to be: the willing submission to suffering and then looking around at all these people's suffering, thinking that is a huge obstacle to my faith and my understanding, this insanity and unexplainable hurt that we're trying to heal with ideology instead of action.”

Faith Healer

“I have an addictive personality and I understand it's easy for me to be an escapist with substances because I literally missed being high. That was a real feeling that I felt and a feeling that felt taboo to say outside of conversations with other people in recovery. The more that I looked at the space that was left by substance or compulsion that I've then just filled with something else, the more I realised that this is a recurring problem in my personality. And so many of the things that I thought about myself that were noble or ultimately just my pursuit of knowing God and the nature of God—that craving and obsession is trying to assuage the same pain that alcohol or any prescription medication is.”

Relative Fiction

“The identity that I have worked so hard to cultivate as a good person or a kind person is all basically just my own homespun mythology about myself that I'm trying to use to inspire other people to be kinder to each other. Maybe what's true about me is true about other people, but this song specifically is a ruthless evaluation of myself and what I thought made me principled. It's kind of a fool's errand.”

Crying Wolf

“It's documenting what it feels like to be in a cyclical relationship, particularly with substances. There was a time in my life, for almost a whole year, where it felt like that. I think that is a very real place that a lot of people who struggle with substance use find themselves in, where the resolution of every day is the same and you just can’t seem to make it stick.”

Bloodshot

“The very first line of the song is talking about two intoxicated people—myself being one of them—looking at each other and me having this out-of-body experience, knowing that we are both bringing to our perception of the other what we need the other person to be. That's a really lonely and sad place to be in, the realisation that we're each just kind of sculpting our own mythologies about the world, crafting our narratives.”

Ringside

“I have a few tics that manifest themselves with my anxiety and OCD, and for a long time, I would just straight-up punch myself in the head—and I would do it onstage. It's this extension of physicality from something that's fundamentally compulsive that you can't control. I can't stop myself from doing that, and I feel really embarrassed about it. And for some reason I also can't stop myself from doing other kinds of more complicated self-punishment, like getting into co-dependent relationships and treating each one of those like a lottery ticket. Like, 'Maybe this one will work out.'”

Favor

“I have a friend whose parents live in Jackson, where my parents live. They’re one of my closest friends and they were around for the super dark part of 2019. I'll try to talk to the person who I hurt or I'll try to admit the wrongdoing that I've done. I'll feel so much guilt about it that I'll cry. And then I'll hate that I've cried because now it seems manipulative. I'm self-conscious about looking like I hate myself too much for the wrong things I've done because then I kind of steal the person's right to be angry. I don't want to cry my way out of shit.”

Song in E

“I would rather you shout at me like an equal and allow me to inhabit this imagined persona I have where I'm evil. Because then, if I can confirm that you hate me and that I'm evil and I've failed, then I don't any longer have to deal with the responsibility of trying to be good. I don't any longer have to be saddled with accountability for hurting you as a friend. It’s something not balancing in the arithmetic of my brain, for sin and retribution, for crime and punishment. And it indebts you to a person and ties you to them to be forgiven.”

Repeat

“I tried so hard for so long not to write a tour song, because that's an experience that musicians always write about that's kind of inaccessible to people who don't tour. We were in Germany and I was thinking: Why did I choose this? Why did I choose to rehash the most emotionally loaded parts of my life on a stage in front of people? But that's what rumination is. These are the pains I will continue to experience, on some level, because they're familiar.”

Highlight Reel

“I was in the back of a cab in New York City and I started having a panic attack and I had to get out and walk. The highlight reel that I'm talking about is all of my biggest mistakes, and that part—‘when I die, you can tell me how much is a lie’—is when I retrace things that I have screwed up in my life. I can watch it on an endless loop and I can torture myself that way. Or I can try to extract the lessons, however painful, and just assimilate those into my trying to be better. That sounds kind of corny, but it's really just, what other options do you have except to sit there and stare down all your mistakes every night and every day?”

Ziptie

“I was watching people be restrained with zip ties on the news. It's just such a visceral image of violence to see people put restraints on another human being—on a demonstrator, on a person who is mentally ill, on a person who is just minding their own business, on a person who is being racially profiled. I had a dark, funny thought that's like, what if God could go back and be like, ‘Y'all aren't going to listen.’ Jesus sacrificed himself and everybody in the United States seems to take that as a true fact, and then shoot people in cold blood in the street. I was just like, ‘Why?’ When will you call off the quest to change people that are so horrid to each other?”

(x)

#julien baker #little oblivions #apple music #interview #archival

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keirawantstocry · 10 months ago

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fitbo first kiss.,,,,,

smiles widely at you

Fit hated feeling greedy, feeling like he was trying to grab for something more than he deserved. Pac joking about multiple boyfriends was fine. Pac deserved them all. He deserved every bit of love he could get but Fit? He didn't deserve all of that.

He was asked if Pac and Tubbo dating, being so affectionate with each other, kissing in front of him bothered him at all. To be honest it didn't. Not at all. It was Tubbo. He… loved Tubbo. And he wanted the best for Pac.

They were his family.

He wanted them to be happy, it made him more happy then he could possibly explain or imagine.

It almost seemed perfect but there was an underlying unexplained tension whenever Tubbo was around. Fit didn't understand it. He didn't understand the frustrated faces that Tubbo made when he didn't think he was looking. He didn't understand why Tubbo leaned into him so far, almost like he did when he was with Pac.

“I'm fucking confused!” came Tubbo's distressed voice.

Fit froze. He had been going to meet up with Pac and Tubbo at Tubbo's factory but now hearing the anguish in Tubbo's voice, he pressed himself back against the wall just out of sight to eavesdrop.

Then came Pac's smooth voice. “I know, Tubbo. It can be hard to… trust that your feelings are, you know, the same as his.”

Tubbo let out a frustrated sigh. “Your boyfriend is either the slowest walker ever or he's just stupid.”

Fit blinked in surprise. They were talking about him. Tubbo was frustrated with him.

Pac laughed and even that beautiful sound couldn't pull Fit out of his state of confusion. “It doesn't mean he doesn't care about you.”

“Then why hasn't he kissed me! I swear Pac I have made so many moves on him. I have done everything except kiss him myself. I don't know what to do anymore! It feels like there's no way he could possibly want to kiss me. Are you absolutely fucking sure?”

“I'm sure,” Pac soothed. “He loves you. But he also comes from a very backwards place. I'm not sure he's come to the point of realizing it's okay to want multiple people at a time.”

Their conversation continued but Fit couldn't hear a single word over the absolute storm in his mind. Both of their words flew around violently in his mind. Memories flashed to the front of his consciousness. Tubbo pressing his hand against his chest and looking up at him with big eyes. Tubbo falling asleep on his shoulder. Tubbo hugging him hard and holding on.

Fit remembered his eyes dipping as he looked at the man. He remembered looking at his mouth and wondering before ripping his thoughts away. Guilt had rushed him, reminding him of Pac. He couldn't… like multiple people. It wasn't right. Right?

Their voices faded away, they were walking. He was supposed to be meeting them but he couldn't move from the spot he was in.

There was an incredibly tight feeling in his chest.

“Fit?” came a distant voice.

He blinked his eyes a few times to focus on the face in front of him, the hand waving in front of his vision.

“Tubbo,” he said softly.

The man smiled at him, his eyebrows smushing together in confusion despite the smile. “Well no shit. Pac just left and Sunny is sleeping, who else would it be?”

Fit continued staring at him. Blinked a few more times. Just to make sure the person in front of him, the beautiful man in front of him was real.

“Tubbo,” he said again quietly.

“Yes?”

Before he knew it, Fit was surging forward. His hands gripped the sides of Tubbo's face tight and he watched as the man's eyes flew open in surprise.

“Tubbo,” he said, surprised at the low tone and desperation in his voice.

“Fit.”

He kissed him.

Tubbo made a noise of surprise against Fit's mouth but leaned into the kiss instantly. Fit tilted Tubbo's face with his hands, slotting their lips together even closer, trying to crawl into him. Tubbo let out a gasp and Fit swallowed it.

Fit let one of his hands drag down to grab Tubbo's waist and pull him into and against his body. It felt like the final piece of a puzzle being clicked in to finally show the full picture.

Fit pulled back with a gasp to drink in Tubbo's expression. His surprised eyes, his open mouth, the gasping breaths falling from his lips, the flush rising on his cheeks.

“What the fuck was that,” Tubbo said breathlessly.

Fit laughed. “I…” he paused to take it all in again before speaking. “Realized that I wanted to kiss you.”

Tubbo blinked slowly. “Thank fuck. I thought I was going to have to smack you upside the head before yo-”

Fit cut him off by landing a firm kiss on his lips.

“Mmph!”

Fit pulled back and laughed. “Oh I'm never letting you get a word in ever again.”

Tubbo opened his mouth to protest and Fit just grinned before kissing him again, open mouth and all. When he finally pulled back, Tubbo was staring at him with a dizzy, distant look in his eyes.

“I… I think I'm okay with that.”

#poly morning crew #qsmp #my writing #fanfiction #fitbo #q!tubbo #q!pac #q!fit #qsmp shipping #i wrote this while in church so its jesus approved

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is-it-cute-gf-au-edition · 2 months ago

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Hey, I've loved your blog for a while. Sorry to see all drama that's been going on lately. The dimension 04'/ Ford Pines stuff makes me really uncomfortable TBH. I'm just glad my dad isn't very internet-savvy.

Anywhooo, I thought you'd appreciate getting an actual pet to rank again. It's been a while since you got a normal submission. This is an old photo I took of my brother snuggling with my pet plaidypus Polyanne. I made him a shirt out of her fur that I managed to bully him into wearing. Well, he doesn't know I tricked him into it, don't tell him that.

He used to make fun of me for snuggling with Poly at night. He stopped after I caught him red-handed.

....Is that--

OH MAN. Wow!! There are a lot of '\ Pines variants following this blog!! (That was supposed to be '\, right? Common typo. If you're from another branch, I'd love to hear more about it!)

If I'm right and you're related to a different Ford Pines, I'm really sorry for the recent content. I can only imagine how weird it is to see a version of someone you love in this situation. Please block the "#Ford Pines is a Human" tag if it's too much for you. Unfortunately, I'm probably going to keep doing it, because, well... I don't like how more and more people are jumping on this Ford Pines Pet Show Stan train. It makes me uncomfortable, too, and some people are actively supporting this treatment of 04'\ Ford Pines.

(The worst of it is from Loyalists in-dimension. I don't know what dimension you're from, but I really hope you guys don't have to deal with this. A lot of it is also from anti-loyalists, which.... ugh. You don't need to hear about this. I'm sorry.)

Thanks for the submission. Please keep in mind that I only have this to go off of, so don't take it too hard!

RATING: MAYBE CUTE

So, this has the potential to be a really good image! Unfortunately, it's a little hard to formally verify anything I see in it.

Here are the potential problems:

All platypuses are wild animals, and generally unsuited to being pets. I want to assume that most exotic pet owners have ethically sourced and well-cared-for animals, but unfortunately, a lot of them just aren't. Most people don't know how to properly care for wild animals, and a lot of exotic pets are poached.

I'm Unsure that the plaidypus is in a safe position; someone who knows more about their spines weigh in.

There is some debate about whether plaidypus fur harvesting is actually ethical, since it's often stressful for the plaidypus! If it's a pet animal, though, you can probably easily pick up naturally shed skins. (Also, to be honest, it seems like a lot of the people who hate plaidypus skin harvesting have no problem with factory farming.)

On the other hand:

Is your local Ford Pines a biologist like the rest of them are? That gives a lot more credence to proper care.

Plaidypuses are much friendlier than platypuses. I've heard they'll do the cat thing and just walk into your house and decide they live there. (To my understanding there are a lot more plaidypuses in 04'\ than in most other dimensions, since we have higher ambient Weirdness but aren't actively collapsing into Entropy.

It isn't wearing a harness or anything. It could probably just leave if it wanted to.

Here are some honorable mentions in favor of cuteness:

I see that sonic shoe in the corner!!

Look at the drape on that shirt!! Is it really Plaidypus fur? I've never seen it in person, but I thought it was thicker than that! How did you get it to look so soft and light?

#ask #Newton Pines-McGucket #Nikola Pines-McGucket #Polyanne the Plaidypus #Plaidypus #alexthebordercollie #This is such a good picture #Rating: Maybe cute

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lesmisscraper · 1 year ago

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Madame Victurnien expends Thirty Five Francs on Morality. Volume 1, Book 5, Chapter 8.

Clips from <Il cuore di Cosette>.

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cybertron-after-dark · 6 months ago

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You said you like megadac. Yap to me. I beg

Ohooohohohohooohohohhhhhhh my favorite terrible toxic human x robot ship. They are horrible in some of the best ways and their whole dynamic fascinates me because it's such a fucking mess, and not all of it is anyone's fault

(under the cut bc this is a LOT of yapping)

Sumdac never really understood how much he was hurting Megatron by poking around in his remains. How could he know? He never had any indication, he just found a severed robot head with unbelievably advanced tech in it. How could he have ever known that was a person? How could he know it's a person that would come back from the dead? He couldn't. But his lack of awareness doesn't negate how badly it clearly traumatized Megatron (regardless of whether megs would ever admit that, even to himself)

And of course, the extended, months-long ordeal of having to pretend to be an Autobot as Sumdac's unwilling roommate. God. The degree to which that complicates things is just fucking [chef's kiss] absolutely terrible. The nightmare of being completely immobile, completely vulnerable, near-helpless to defend himself, and his only consistent contact is the guy that strung up his guts and plugged it into the central computer of his factory, who happens to be up close and personal with the Autobots that killed him. Like girl that's nightmarish!!! One slip up and he gets sold out to the people that want to fucking execute him, or worse, and he can't even run away.

So he bides his time. Puts on a mask. Hopes to the Allspark he can keep up the charade, keep all his pride and rage and disgust shoved down. And it's miserable. And he hates it. But when something terrifying and sickening and hopeless is your normal for so long, with no place to escape to, it becomes kind of perversely mundane. Familiar. This godawful place is home. This creature that violated me is my only company.

It's just such a fucking tangled mess.

Honestly, if Megatron was at least a little more honest about his position, Sumdac probably wouldn't have sold him out. He likes Megatron, he doesn't really have any reason to distrust him, and he does want to make up for the position he put him in.

"The Autobots do not much care for my kind, me especially. If they were made aware of my location and the state I am in, it would be the end of me. Do you know what happens in Autobot stockades?"

But this is Megatron we're talking about. To him, banking on people's compassion is not an option. Vulnerability is not an option. Trust is not an option. He can't just reveal what he really is with no solid backup plan, it's too great a gamble, and, given Sumdac is the guy who took him apart, it's probably a little difficult to conceive of a reality where putting his life in his hands goes well.

And then, after Blitzwing restores his body, when he's finally free, of course Sumdac is angry. Of course he helps in the ensuing fight on the opposite side. He was right not to trust him, he was an enemy all along, this whole spark forsaken world is.

At least, that's what Megatron tells himself, because he doesn't want to believe all his cynicism was a self fulfilling prophecy he created, and not a deep understanding of the cosmos and the inherent cruelty of his fellow sentient beings.

And then of course, of COURSE, keeping Sumdac in that tank in the cave was all perfectly proportional revenge in his eyes. All that time vulnerable, miserable, hopeless, separated from his allies, exploited, afraid for his life, all of that gets paid back to Sumdac in full. It feels good to hurt him back. This is right, this is justice. This is what fate allows him to inflict back on him, so it must be right.

But Sumdac didn't know. How could he? How could he when Megatron never told him how much he was hurting. And how could Megatron ever tell him when Sumdac gave him so many reasons not to trust him?

It's the inherent tragedy of a missed connection, it's the self-sabotage, it's the fear and the mutual betrayal and the obliviousness and the utter lack of communication, it's the deep familiarity and intimacy (including physical) between them even with that giant chasm they could never bridge. It's wondering if Megatron only took Sumdac with him because he wanted revenge or because some part of him would have missed the only person he's consistently interacted with for the past 6ish months, even with all the horrible feelings attached. It's wondering what the fuck was up with Megs sticking Sumdac in a bondage harness up against his chest, like hey what the fuck? It's Sumdac thinking Megatron was just his Wacky Alien Roommate for the whole ordeal, his special, secret friend who helped him get to be as successful as he is (even if he was unaware at the time), who talks to him about not wanting his autobot friends to see him in such a sorry state, and made a birthday present for his daughter once. It's Megatron being Sumdac's "I can fix him" project gone horribly, horribly wrong. It's wondering if there was ever a reality where they could have had a happy ending. It's knowing they never could.

#maccadam #transformers #tfa #megatron #isaac sumdac #oughghhhhg they got me FUCKED UP #gay tragic dads that dont realize they have a kid together.

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humansofnewyork · 1 year ago

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(19/54) “It has always been my philosophy: wherever I am, I try to make the most of the responsibilities I am given. Managing a factory was not my ideal position. I had hoped to find a place where I could have more of a national impact. But I tried my best to improve the lives of the people nearest to me. I continued to hold meetings with the workers. I studied employment practices from all over the world, and drafted a policy of worker’s rights. It was very progressive for the time. But when I presented the document to the Department of Labor, it was approved for the entire factory. Five thousand lives were made better. In 1975 the king made an announcement that he was dissolving all political parties and combining them into one. He claimed that it was an attempt at unity, but it was abhorrent to me. A country cannot be ruled by a single voice. In the next election I decided to return to Nahavand and run for parliament as my own man. Mitra was against it. She told me that I was too honest for politics, too naive. She said: ‘Even if you win. You’re a single voice. The rest of the parliament will still be controlled by the king.’ Even my father didn’t want me to run. He didn’t think I stood a chance, and he didn’t want to see me get my heart broken. The king had to approve all candidates, and he’d chosen two of his closest allies as my opponents. One of them played volleyball with the king and empress. The other was Undersecretary of Education for the entire country. He was so confident of his victory that he’d already resigned from his previous position. After I announced my candidacy, he paid me a visit. He told me: ‘I want you to know. Everyone in government is supporting me. And this position has been promised to me.’ I told him: ‘I’m very happy for you. I have no intention of winning. But I am going to say what I have to say.”

فلسفه‌ی زندگی‌ام همواره بر آن بوده است که بیشترین تلاشم را در هر جایگاه و مسئولیتی که به من داده شود انجام دهم. کار من در کارخانه‌ی ذوب‌آهن اصفهان مدیریت بخش ارزیابی و آمار بود. پیشه‌ی دلخواهم نبود. مهندس مکانیک و کارشناس اقتصاد فنی ملی بودم. دوست داشتم برنامه‌ریزی کلان کشور را یاری کنم. پیش‌نویسی از قانون حقوق کارگران آماده کردم. از بررسی همه‌ی قانون‌های کار جهان پیشرفته بهترین‌ها را برگزیدم. پیش‌نویس تنها به هدف استفاده در کارخانه‌ی خودمان نوشته شده بود. هنگامی که آن سند را به وزارت کار دادم، پسندیدند. کیفیت زندگی ۵۰۰۰ کارگر کارخانه بهبود یافت. سال ۱۹۷۵ شاه اعلام کشور یک‌حزبی کرد. وی از اتحاد می‌گفت ولی ناخوشایند بود زیرا با یک صدا نمی‌شود رهبری کرد. کار سیاسی تنها از درون حزب‌ رستاخیز می‌گذشت. اساس حزب همان قانون اساسی بود که دربرگیرنده‌ی سلطنت مشروطه و انقلاب سفید هم بود. آرمان را باید پی می‌گرفتم، سخن گفتن با مردم رهگشای آینده‌ی روشن است. بر آن شدم که در انتخابات بعدی از نهاوند نامزد شوم و آرمان‌هایم را برای ایران و ایرانیان در آن کارزار با مردم در میان بگذارم. میترا موافق نبود. گفت که من برای سیاست خیلی درستکارم، خیلی ناوارد هستم. او گفت: «حتا اگر پیروز شوی، تنها یک صدا هستی. بقیه‌ی مجلس همچنان تحت فرمان شاه خواهد بود.» پدرم نیز امیدی به پیروزی‌ من نداشت و نمی‌خواست دلشکسته شوم. بر آن بود که نامزدها باید مورد پذیرش شاه باشند، دو نفر دیگر بخ��شان از این بابت بلند بود. یکی از آنها در کاخ با شاه و شهبانو والیبال بازی می‌کرد. دیگری معاون وزیر آموزش و پرورش کشور بود. به آن اندازه از پیروزی خود اطمینان داشت که از سمت خود کناره‌گیری کرده بود. پس از آنکه نامزدی خود را اعلان کردم، با من تماس گرفت. گفت: «تنها خواستم بدانی که همه‌ی دولتمردان از من پشتیبانی می‌کنند و این مقام از پیش به من وعده داده شده است.» پاسخ دادم: «برای شما خوشحالم. به پیروزی نمی‌اندیشم. برای شناساندن اندیشه‌هایم می‌آیم.»

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diy-fire-water-pups · 4 months ago

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Heya, guys! Just an ask for you guys, especially for Rocky. What do you guys feel about those cyber trucks? To me, I get salty because people drive a frickin TRAPEZOID!! it looks like an oversized microwave with four wheels! Even raccoons are attacking those trucks because they think they are dumpsters. But hey, that’s just me. What do you guys think?

If only the problem would be ONLY that this truck looks like a trapezoid… Someone once joked it’s Lara Croft in her first game - I had to look that up - but to be very honest, I think she has more polygons than a Cybertruck. And that’s saying something for sure.

As the Paw Patrol’s pup who’s specialized in medicine, I'd like to say that this truck is literally a menace on wheels for both passengers and pedestrians. Have you seen the crash tests? The truck doesn’t crush when colliding with something! It’s supposed to crush so the force of impact won’t go fully on the passengers inside. Without it, if it hits against something full force at top speed, people’s organs will practically become puree against their ribcage. And if it hits a pedestrian, even at lower speeds, the chances of major injuries is insanely high because it doesn’t have any smooth lines on its frame to soften the impact against the person! Only sharp edges! It’s absolutely deadly!

It looks like something you'd see in an Atari game, of course there are people who would be a fan of it but that's a very small percentage of a specific public; as Marshall said, the very frame design makes it extremely dangerous; I absolutely DO NOT trust anything that's entirely dependant on a touchscreen to function, once the screen is out, you won't be able to do anything anymore; If you need to look away from the road for more than 5 seconds to do something on that tablet, it should be considered already a failure of programming and danger inducing; a lot of them came out of the factory with already rusty components so THAT SHOULD SAY SOMETHING; oh yeah, you can't even take it to a car wash or it'll come out a huge useless brick on the other side and if you can't wash it, you'd at least want to coat it but guess what, you can't do that either; a bunch of the panels are literally GLUED to the frame...?; every time you go recharge it you need to do it as correctly as possible to not risk the charger getting stuck and eventually breaking it; if you drive in the rain, water will leak in through the edges; you can't even haul stuff or help another car because you'll be risking to snap the back frame - it's not in one piece with the chassis, but connected by a sort of plastic piece to it...???? I swear I've seen Chase's cruiser hold and tow heavier stuff with its winch than what a Cybertruck can ever dream of doing; if anything happens to the back of this truck, you can kiss goodbye to its bed, even though it's not as big as they promised either; they basically made a fool of a lot of people by making them pay a lot more for a "Foundation Series" promising a full self driving feature that, as far as I know as of now, is still not available; the truck just has so many problems someone drove it out of the factory and not even two minutes later it bricked completely and has been at a repair shop ever since; the list goes on and on...

Some Tesla vehicles at least look good and have decent features, though they also have a lot more problems than they should, which could have been solved already by now, but they don't even try, all because the company owner is just... A bad person, let's put it like that. He's got a temper worse than Sweetie's, he thinks he's above everyone else and won't ever take a "no" or "don't". I've heard a lot of other EV companies are making better AND affordable EVs literally by looking at what's wrong with Tesla cars to not repeat the same errors on theirs.

Oh, and one last thing! This guy also went against regulation laws against hate speech in our Mod's country, which resulted on his social media website and app getting banned there. Not satisfied with that, he double-crossed the ban to make it available there again although totally illegally, by using the same IP servers that hospitals, public services and even the very Brazilian government websites use, so... Triple crime? Not gonna lie, it's funny to follow how it's going down there.

#shadzdrag234 #Paw Patrol #Paw Patrol Zuma #Paw Patrol Marshall #Paw Patrol Rocky #Tesla #Tesla Cybertruck #(( Imagine someone going through the Tesla Cybertruck tag on Tumblr and finding PAW PATROL DOGS SHIT TALKING IT too LMFAO ))

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fluffymiyaa · 2 years ago

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Ditto

Bestfriend!reo x reader

Tw: reo being obsessive and creepy towards reader, but that's just how he is.

Summary: what happen if you finally confessed to your best friend and he doesn't know it?

I got nothing to lose 널 좋아한다고 ♡

Masterlist

The wind blowing against your sensitive skin gives you goosebumps. the raindrops that bounced off the ground made you take a few steps back under the roof of the school terrace. Feeling of restlessness and regret arises for forgetting to bring an umbrella.

You sigh thinking of ways to get home without getting wet. You have asked your friends to share umbrellas but they are already full. And your best friend Reo has practice today. And to be honest don't want to face him right now. You can't. Not after what you just did.

A tap on your shoulder interrupted your thoughts.

"Haah, sorry, have you been waiting long?" He asked with panting breath.

You frowned. Questioned why he was here.

"Reo? What are you doing here? Don't you have practice?"

"Ah, practice got cancel today" He said as he fixing his bun hair. One of his habits that makes you like him even more.

"Oh"

A bunch of girls pass by you and and greet Reo.

"Reo go home savely! Don't forget to eat the chocolates i made~"

"Reo-senpai otsukaresama~, read my letter ok?

"Reo-san see u tomorrow~"

Reo just said thank you and smiled at them. But deep down he was irritated by those noisy chirping. But he can't show it, not infront of you.

"Should we go now?" He asked

"What do you mean? Aren't you going to be picked up by car? or together nagi?"

He gasped. "Ouch, today is valentines day and MY DEAR best friend refused to come home with me" he said by dramatizing his words and his voice made it sound like a deep hurt. Put his hand oh his chest.

You sighed. "I didn't say no Reo. I also didn't bring any umbrella with me"

Reo stared at you for a moment. He opened his bag and took his umbrella and opened it.

"Well? I guess we have to share umbrella, huh?" He grinned.

"How did you get an umbrella? You never bring it before" you ask suspiciously.

"Hmm, doesn't matter"

You rolled you eyes, though your heart starts beating so fast. "C'mon, we need to walk faster before the rain get worse". Just started walking a few steps Reo suddenly grabbed your shoulder.

"Get closer, you'll get wet"

"Oh yeah, thanks"

After a while, you two walk without saying anything. There was only the sound of raindrops and the stomping of feet on the muddy ground from both of you.

"You're a little quiet today, we haven't talked much." He finally talked. His words made you flinch a little.

"Oh, sorry.. it's just today it's valentines day.. and people have been around you all day to gave you presents. Unlike you, nobody gave me any presents or chocolate... I just keep a distance to not bother you."

It's honestly makes you sad and insecure about it. You feel like you don't pretty enough and doesn't deserve to be Reo's side.

"Huh? Don't do that! You're not bothering me! Stop keep a distance on me okay? We've been friends fo long. No need to hold back like that. And who cares about the present or chocolate?! If you something you could just ask me, i'll buy a whole chocolate factory for you!" He annoyed. He's not joking tho. He would , if you ask him to.

You chuckled. "Okay okay Reo"

He smirked. "I got a unique present in my locker today"

You gulped. "Yeah? What is it?"

"A lego flower"

Fuck.

"With a small letter"

Nervousness devours your body. You play your fingers trying to distract yourself.

"You're so lucky. It needs days or all night to make lego flower" you said trying to calm yourself.

His smile widened, he even bit his lower lip to hold it in. His face getting red. He looked away so you wouldn't see him. Then he turned back to you embraced you closer to him make your bodies touch. His hand was still tightly gripping the handle of the umbrella.

"Hmm you right.. maybe i should accept their feeling? You have any idea who send this, Y/n?" He whispered right to your ears. Makes your back shivered and whole body heats up. You pushed Reo a little from you.

"Ugh why would i know? Don't pulled me like that"

"Sorry. But.. something off about this person"

You and Reo walk back down the street to your house which is in the same complex. The rain has started to subside.

"How?" You asked

"I wonder how the person put it in my locker. Nobody knows the code except me, nagi.. or you. Well it couldn't be Nagi, he's with me since the morning"

"Re-really? Could there be a stalker? Maybe it's one of your fans?"

"Eh, i should be more carefull then"

You both fell silent as you continued walking. You turned to Reo and stared at his beautiful feature. He is a tall young man with a lean and strong build. He has chin-length purple hair, his tied in a high bun, leaving two locks of hair framing his face. And also his bright purple eyes. Until your eyes catch something.

"Reo! Y-your shoulder is getting wet!" You panicked and push the umbrella to cover him up. But he gripped it tighter and pushed it in the opposite.

"Ah, it's fine. I'm gonna take a shower anyway." he said casually.

"But-"

"Shhh, let's walk faster."

His right hand grabs your hand and dragged you. The grip of the left hand never left tge the umbrella handle. Splashes of water stain your shoes up to your calves makes them dirty. But you don't care. What you care about right now you and Reo are holding hand and running through the rain. You both laughters are buried by the sound of the rain. But as long as you guys can hear each other that's enough.

"Haahhh finally we arrived" he groaned.

"Well we are arrived at MY house. Your house still a couple blocks from here." you said

He raised his one eyebrow. "So? It's still the same. C'mon" he dragged you into your house. Opened the door for you to enter first, then closed the umbrella first and put it in the basket. He immediately closed the door so that rainwater does not enter into more of the house.

"Where's your mum?"

"At aunt's"

You opened you shoes and he followed. When you were about to take your shoes and his to put them in the shoe rack, he stopped you. "No, you're hands will get dirty. I'll do it myself. Just go and get clothes for me, yeah?"

You nodded. "I'll prepare a clean clothes for you and make us a hot chocolate. If you finish just go upstairs and wait in my room"

•••••

Reo who is alone in your room, felt he was almost crazy now, he couldn't stop smiling and giggling at what he had just seen now.

He found a box of lego flowers under your bed.

Fu*k she's so cute

He staring his shirt and his short on your bed that you already prepared for him. He quickly changed his wet uniform.

Knock knock

"Reo? Are you finish changing?"

"Yeah, come in"

You go in and found reo sitting relaxed on your bed with the clothes you prepared earlier for him.

"You still keep my clothes, huh?" He teased

Blood rushing to you cheeks. "You never bring you clothes with you after sleepover here. So i keep it."

It's true though. Reo always refused to take the clothes from the day before because he likes the fact that you will wash his clothes and keep it in your little wardrobe together with your clothes. And now you and him share the same smell.

You walk towards your floor table and put the 2 cups of hot chocolate. Reo staring at you still wearing your school uniform. "Aren't you going to change, y/n?"

"O-oh right. Wait"

You open your wardobe and take out your t-shirt and shorts. Then go to the bathroom. Reo was holding back to says "why don't you just change you clothes here?" But no, he won't going that far. But he'll be lying if he doesn't want to know what your reaction would be. It must be cute he thinks.

You got out from your bathroom already changed. You see Reo already sat on the carpet as he drinks his hot chocolate. He looks at you and tapping his empty side gives a signal to you to sit down.

You both sit there in silence. You drink your hot chocolate try to break the silence but it's not working. It feels awkward and you got more nervous. You think maybe you should just confessed to him right now but you're too scared. What if Reo doesn't feel the same way and you friendship will get ruin.

In the other side, Reo knows whats happening, he can see how shaking and confused you are and he likes it, way too likes it. He almost feel bad. But he couldn't help it you just so cute and looks fragile to him.

"Reo.. say something..."

He chuckled. Your whine sounds just melodies to him. And the next think he said is surprised you.

"Ditto"

You look at him in wide eyes.

"E-eh?"

"Why? You look surprised" he smiled at you.

You really thought that word was for you. But there's no way, Reo doesn't know that it was you, right?

"No, it's just why you randomly said that like you answering the letter."

He laughed.

"I never show you what's inside the letter, Y/n. How did you know?" His face getting closer to yours.

"......"

Eh? He never show it? I thought-

Ahh what am i going to do?!

Did he find out?!

How?!

You frozed. Speechless. You opened your mouth but nothing comes out. Your heart beats fast. Your body heats up even though it's cold outside due to the rain. You just sit there look at him who still smiling at you.

Ah, my y/n just so clueless. Oh, is she gonna cry? Cute.

"I said that i like you too you know, aren't you happy about it?" Reo pouted.

"N-no i- of cource i'm happy, Reo!" Your hands cling hard on his tshirt. You get too overhelmed you didn't even realize tears coming down to your face. You've been waiting for this for so long.

"God, you're so pretty" he whispered. He's gone mad.

He's getting closer to close the gap between you two till your lips touched. He placed his hand under your jaw, his other hand squished you hip as you hands still clinging on his tshirt. He open up lil bit his mouth so you did it too. Now you both can taste each others sweetness from hot chocolate. Then he pulled away makes you whined.

He licked his lips. "Sweet". It makes you feel more embarassed.

"Thanks for the flowers, baby. I love it" he said as he stroked your cheeks. You nodded and shying away.

"Oh, i have a present to for you. Here, Happy Valentines day, y/n" he hand you a purple little box.

"Can open it?"

"Hmm, go on, sweety" his petnames gave you butterfly.

You open the box. And there were two hairpins with Kuromi's face inside. It makes you eyes twickled, you smile at it.

Reo rubbed his back neck. "Well i know it's not really special or expensive. I just want make it as a symbols that we're official now. You see.. there's two of it, one for me and one for you. Ah but you know, i would buy anything for you, okay? Is there anything i could get for you?"

You laughed and shook your head. "No, thank you, Reo. These are so adorable, i like it very much." You took one hairpin and placed it on your hair. You took the other one and placed on Reo's hair.

"Aww we're pairing right now, so cute hehe. Lets take some pictures, Reo?"

How could he says no to his baby, of course he said yes to everything you want and need.

These wholesome romance scenes makes him forgot about a bad things he did. From canceled his practiced and told his driver to not pick him up so he can go home with you. From he took advantages one of his fan and took her umbrella without caring how she's gonna get home. From how threating any guys that want to get closer or have a crush on you and it makes you feel insecure and sad, he feels bad about that one though. But it doesn't matter, you only need him, you're gonna choose him and him only. Well you just did.

You're all his now. Though, you already his since the first time you met. That's why you always together. He's always been there for you whenever you happy, sad, angry, he's there with open arms. He treats you well too, bought you anything you want or need, always satisfied you and makes you happy with him.

He deserves you right? You deserve each other. That's why you chose him. And he won't let that change.

Reblogs are more appreciated! Thanks for the notes<3

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