#You know basic child things /hj

[themissbanshee]

Oh my goodness I had so many of these!!

[cuteniaarts]

Digitalised + coloured + redesigned version of my Suiren and Vaatu sketch from two days ago, as promised!!

Coming up with Suiren’s design was a very long process of trying and failing because after you’ve drawn 9+ different versions of one character, the creativity starts to run a little dry, but I’m actually really proud of this one, she looks absolutely adorable <3

(Also yeah I did mostly just scribble Vaatu’s pattern because who has the energy to draw the all out accurately. Not me, that’s who, I’m chronically tired. People who draw him on the regular have my utmost respect. He’s still a funky little guy though :D)

Bonus, Raava incessantly screaming inside Suiren (and being completely ignored because Suiren is tired of her) while all this is happening:

[rivangel]

PLEASE write about Levi’s mental state, i’m begging you

He’s faced death and precarious situations since he was born, yet he’s still standing strong and hopeful, WHAT THE HELL I LOVE MY SHORT KING

IT'S FINALLY HERE😭im sorry anon i hope you're around to see this and if u are i hope i dont disappoint

the tone in this analysis is so weird because i kept getting caught between 'this is an apa paper no contractions, academic language, double spacing -' and 'this is a tumblr post about a fictional blorbo wtf r u on'

i also use some scientific language i try my best to explain but if this turns anyone off i don't blame them because im unhealthily obsessed

*i'm a third-year undergraduate psychology student w/ a concentration in psychopathology

tw/cw: discussion of childhood exposure to sex (not assault)

Foreword

I’ve been putting this off for a while (I’m forgetful and this topic is intimidating what can I say), but being a year out from graduating with my bachelor’s to become a mental health professional, and being a Levi scholar(/hj), I wanted to give this a shot. 

I wanted to dissect and examine Levi Ackerman’s mental health “currently” (as in general canon), and explain as thoroughly but as simply as possible how and why he thinks and acts the way he does.

Seeing how AOT is pretty renowned for leaving out the ‘insignificant’ details, especially character details, a good majority of my assertions and even details of his life are built off of correlations and “signs and symptoms”; meaning some things could be an aspect of Levi’s personality, or a symptom of psychopathology. 

 I will examine his childhood (especially his childhood), adolescence, young adulthood, and “present” adulthood, with a short summary at the end of where he might be mentally after the war.

*Lastly, I don’t like it when things I say about a series or character are taken as fact or make it implied that someone else’s thoughts are “wrong”. This is partly built on headcanons anyway, which are influenced by my own experiences. Don’t take away from this that this is me telling you what to think.*

Childhood

The most important period of development occurs in infancy and childhood, especially from the ages of 3-6. This is when a child learns where to find security, love, and basic skills, gaining stability as they develop.

Well, Kuchel died when Levi was 4.

Maternal Love / Learning Empathy / Anxious Attachment Style

Levi was born into deep poverty within a violent unwelcoming environment. Basic physical needs must have been very hard to meet (i.e., consistently fed enough, a clean environment, no physical threats). And where Levi was born is like the dictionary definition of a bad environment for a small child, excluding only his mother’s care and love.

As it’s generally understood in canon (and suggested from Levi’s special backstory manga so far) she was a caring parental figure early in Levi’s life that loved him unconditionally. We can conclude that Kuchel did everything within her power to compensate for both parenting Levi alone and shielding him the best she could from his horrible surroundings, teaching the kindness, goodness, and love that Levi would internalize and go on to strive for for his entire life. 

As far as we know, no other children lived in the brothel. Socialization is just as important for a young child as receiving love. With this isolation, it’s extremely difficult to learn how to connect to other people, or pick up on social cues. Levi would’ve never learned how to interact properly with his peers—aside from use of aggression and violence which Kenny would go on to instill in him.

With the danger/anxiety imposed by strangers, mostly if not entirely men, he would turn to his mother for comfort all. The. Time. 

And she would give him that support and affection of course. This early motherly affection is integral to child development: a child who receives empathy and affection is subliminally taught how to feel and express empathy towards others. 

While Levi’s surroundings were dangerous, lonely, and chaotic—traumatizing enough for a toddler or young child—Kuchel provided a safety net from that, so I think that Levi developed an anxious attachment as a child: exhibiting clinginess, excessive fear of abandonment, and an excessive need for security and/or reassurance.

Paternal Trauma / Potential Androphobia

Born and living in a brothel, we can assume that Levi was probably seen as a burden and a mistake by others, especially by men (both the likely majority of her customers and her boss).

AOT ch69; Before the Fall, ch34

This is likely in contrast to the women (those living and working in the brothel like Kuchel). They should know Kuchel if not as friends, then acquaintances who could empathize for her and her son. 

There’s an obvious trend here. If Levi is going to feel fear/danger/anxiety because of men, he should have a general aversion to men and-or the behavior of men who he encountered as a child. This is impossible to know for sure or in meaningful detail, but it seemed to be resolved by the time he became an adult if so.

Although Kenny in his words was no more than Levi's teacher, Levi did see him as a father figure.

The subject of Kenny will be expanded on later, but it's clear Kenny in no way resembled a father, who also would go on to abandon Levi (at the age of 11 or so). Children without father figures tend to struggle more emotionally, psychologically, and socially. Specifically, (especially boys) tend to exhibit intimidating/aggressive personas to compensate for resentment, fear, and unhappiness. 

Sexual Trauma (Tangent, Probably)

This is unconfirmed but a likely trauma Levi went through: exposure to sex as a child. There’s no way to confirm what he experienced, so I’ll function on ‘probably’s’ and ‘most likely’s’. 

Because Levi and Kuchel only lived in one room, other rooms in the brothel should have belonged to other women, and he was at the oldest four, I wager that he was babysat by women who Kuchel knew and/or was made to hide somewhere while she worked, such as in a cabinet.

(for reference)

AOT ch69

The odds are high that he was exposed to the aftermath of sexual violence (i.e., marks seen on his mother), and the sound or smells that have to do with it. That young, he wouldn’t know what it was, but he should have realized later as an adolescent.

In general, children regardless of gender exposed to sexual content usually experience early puberty (which is just as likely for impoverished children, or children who experience chronic high-stress in general); issues with intimacy; become desensitized to high-risk behavior; negative/inaccurate expectations about sex and relationships in the future; influence inappropriate behavior with other children or adults; sex addiction.

This is especially relevant to Levi’s fear of closeness/intimacy in the future. Exposure to sexual situations—possibly not including CSA in his case—very early in life inflicts on a child emotions and stress they don’t have the intellect or reasoning to process or understand. An extreme aversion to interpersonal relationships, especially physical ones, results.

This stress Levi must have felt, being powerless to this happening to his mother, is a different beast. Children aren’t capable of handling high levels of stress, and so the brain will automatically create coping mechanisms: dissociation (a severe form of “zoning out”; observing the self “from the third person”; numbness; the feeling of living in a dream), excessive daydreaming/overactive imagination, symptoms of PTSD (nightmares and terrors; flashbacks; spontaneous activation of fight-flight-freeze associated with anxiety; excessive worrying/fear; loneliness/self isolation). PTSD will also be prevalent in Levi’s later life, which I’ll delve into later.

Inappropriate behavior and sex addiction are also highlights for me because they shouldn’t exist in him based on Levi's personality and behavior throughout the series. In my opinion, Levi ought to associate sex with pain, shame, and violence; he does see it as an ordinary job—a means to an end. He should be desensitized to sex as a concept, but associates it personally with shame, sadness, and pain, possibly feeling disgust towards it. So it is highly likely that Levi in every stage of life following this experienced sexual repulsion (usually associated with high anxiety towards sex), a low libido, or a lack of sexual desire entirely. 

From a trauma perspective, he could avoid sexual topics of conversation, sexual settings (i.e., brothels), or an array of things which are sexually suggestive or he as a child possibly associated with sex (i.e., cleavage, panties, specific touch). Similarly, he might avoid direct reminders or have a post-traumatic reaction to them, such as anxiety or flashbacks (i.e., the sound of a bed creaking, the sight of wet clothes).

Importantly, it can be concluded that sexual violence was often exhibited, and the idea would be ingrained in him that sex, like everything else besides his relationship with his mother, is “give-and-take”, “victim-and-attacker”, and learn to be repulsed by intimacy. This impacts his willingness for later friendships and relationships as we’ll see later. 

Early Abandonment & Early Exposure to Death

As Kuchel’s health deteriorated, Levi’s sense of security would break down. Availability of shelter, food, and emotional support would be even less secure than before. He might have been providing for Kuchel for some time, even, as it can be gathered that he received little to no help from those around him while she was sick. To whatever length he had to take responsibility and both fear for Kuchel, this would cement a sense of responsibility and guilt in him from the age of just four years old.

He will fail to save her—regardless of the fact that that’s not his responsibility in the first place; a child wouldn’t understand that—and then lose her with nothing he could do to even cushion the blow.

How powerless he must’ve felt. How hopeless. How likely is it that Levi found comfort in joining her? A child his age wouldn’t be able to comprehend death, basing our understanding on Piaget’s theory of cognitive development. To summarize, at the age of six or seven, children aren’t capable of complex, abstract thought like death or the finality of it. But Levi had to learn early. 

AOT ch69

This will be center in his “clean-freak” tendencies later.

Adolescence

Most of this section is going to be rather vague again, but we already got the bulk of that over with in childhood!

Emotional Train Wreck / Lack of Identity 

It’s hard to notice if you’re not paying attention, but in every scene we’re shown with Levi after his mother dies but before Kenny leaves, he’s wearing some variation of his mother’s one dress styled into a shirt. He loves her endlessly, even or especially in death. And part of cherishing her memory, to him, should’ve been taking after her as much as he could.

That’s how to explain why he didn’t become a cruel person (Kenny for instance) as he grew into a teenager, even though much of Levi’s outlook and behaviors come from him (ch57).

The more pertinent question is how extreme violence, reinforcement of the idea that that violence is power, and Kenny’s total (or most likely total) lack of communicated emotional connection affected him.

Levi would still desperately want that connection deep down, especially with his mother gone. This is a major reason why Levi sought to get stronger to please Kenny. For chronically abandoned people, that continues into adulthood and even beyond. A hole inside which can't be filled.

AOT ch69

Chronic loneliness—like I explained before—basically explains his aloof nature and awkward disposition. It’s not that Levi feels as detached as he looks, but he doesn’t know how to express himself or open up. He wouldn’t learn how to process his emotions, let alone talk about them. He’s basically emotionally stunted and immature in impersonal relationships (between friends and especially in regards to intimacy).

The Underground’s environment also makes him socially awkward, rude, of course stoic/not very expressive, and blunt. Levi was forced to become extremely observant of people to suss out their intentions, remaining vigilant of his surroundings at all times.

Levi doesn’t even get affection in any sense anymore. He doesn’t get a hug or a pat on the back, and he certainly doesn’t get a shoulder to cry on.

If anything, Kenny would punish him for showing weakness. Vulnerability is weakness; weakness is death.

What results is a continuous and boundless sense of emptiness inside that can’t be filled. He’s plagued by a chronic sense of unbelonging and loneliness. There’s no time or opportunity to develop “normally” as an adolescent. Socialization is limited at best; thinking of his place in the world is irrelevant when his one and only most pressing goal is survival; he doesn’t get to explore hobbies or interests.

OCD Propensity

One “interest” Levi is passionate about is cleaning, at least. Disease is what caused his mother to die. The easiest cause to point to would be their disgusting surroundings (although, Kuchel was infected by a customer). It is canon that Levi’s love of cleaning comes from "his personal experiences". In that interview, Levi first specifically references the important of fighting disease.

In other words, his "clean freak" nature comes, primarily, from the death of his mother: Filth -> disease -> death, and abandonment by extension.

His mother would’ve encouraged him to keep their room clean. There were times he or she had to have come down with something and dirtiness was the cause. On top of Kenny’s enforcement to keep up “clean” appearances to garner respect from everyone else in the Underground. 

This in particular is extremely relevant to his mental health. When someone feels out of control of what is happening to them, especially in a recurring way, and especially as a child who doesn't yet know how to feel stable in an unstable environment, they look for something to control. It can be weight, bodily functions (blinking, breathing, etc), dominance over others, or cleaning, for instance.

Fear of disease, the urgent need to have control, and the basic need for stability makes it obvious that Levi would become obsessed with cleaning. And moreover, developing OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). I’ll go deeper into this diagnosis later.

Lack of Self Worth

Despite the acknowledgment throughout canon that he trusts in his own strength, it wasn’t always that way.

Canonically, Levi sought praise from Kenny by showing his strength because that was the only thing he received praise for. The conclusion Levi came to once Kenny left him was that he wasn’t strong enough (wasn’t good enough) to warrant staying with him.

In conjunction, Levi’s first conclusion was that he did something wrong, not that Kenny possibly had some obligation that forced him to leave the Underground, pointing again to his own lack of self-worth.

This scenario created a complex in him, the very root cause of Levi’s pain, the very foundation of what Levi would go on to prioritize in adulthood. If he isn’t useful to those he wants not to abandon him, he’s worthless. He’s only useful when he shows his strength. Every other aspect of him like his interests is either irrelevant or bland by default in his eyes.

He would go on to make it his mission to try his best to be good enough in order to save and protect the lives of others, but foremost those he cares about.

Young Adulthood

Our first exposure to Levi as an adult is in A Choice with No Regrets, his OVA/backstory.

(By the way, I’ll be basing this analysis off a mix of the manga and the OVA.)

Emotional Immaturity/Affective Dysregulation

Generally, Levi’s defining negative character trait as a young adult is his emotional immaturity/anti-social behavior. Yes he’s grumpy and rude which is always indicative of him, but he’s very quick to anger, too. He cursed at the Squad Leader who offended him (by assuming that because he, Isabel, and Farlan are from the Underground, they’d be dirty), and argued furiously with Farlan that he would kill Erwin—not because it was required for the job, but because he disrespected him—for a few examples. 

ACWNR ch2

He tended to be arrogant, too. Such as when he ultimately called a Scout who had experience with the Titans stupid for telling Levi to hold his swords in a certain way. He spoke to every officer the same as he would anyone on the street, having a remarkable lack of basic respect for authority. He was insistent on distancing himself from the entire setting and structure of the Scouts as much as possible, both to not get attached, and he found their mission childish/foolish. 

He’s rather selfish. There is nothing Levi cares about genuinely more than Isabel’s and Farlan’s lives and the job that will set them up with a good future. Farlan’s advice is the only one’s he takes and the only judgment outside himself that he considers, such as when Farlan asks him to not cause trouble with authority to keep a low profile, but even then he acts stubborn. Levi trusts nobody wholeheartedly except himself (until later in ACWNR).

There’s a cognitive dissonance in him. Growing up, and still as a young adult, Levi’s headspace is marked by fear and uncertainty, with his power as his source of confidence. The first time he kills a Titan (with Isabel and Farlan), he uses too much gas because he refuses to potentially risk his friends’ lives; when the expedition is upcoming, he abruptly tells Farlan and Isabel to find a reason to stay back, and that he’ll complete the dangerous part of the job on his own. 

Levi is full of repressed fear and uncertainty. He hides and/or buries all of it for the sake of self-preservation both emotionally and physically.

Antisocial Personality…?

It’s extremely interesting how a character as selfless, heroic, and empathetic as Levi exhibits antisocial symptoms. I’d even argue that if his childhood was spent entirely without his mother figure, then he might be a dictionary definition of ASPD (Antisocial Personality Disorder).

People with this disorder live day-to-day under the constant assumption that whoever is around them is “out to get them”/searching for a weakness to exploit. Humanity is made up of only prey and predators; morals are completely subjective, perpetuated by the society that surrounds them. This constant need to defend oneself, the effect of the exact trauma the potential sociopath experienced, combined with a muted emotional spectrum, results in a complete disregard of everything, including people outside of themself. They might believe they’re entitled to comfort or admiration, but overall, they’re intensely self-serving, often aggressive, and ruthless. 

Because Levi for instance learned to rely on violence both for “love” and survival, then he might fall on violence to manipulate a person or situation into serving himself. I see reason to believe that Levi could have grown into worse than Kenny’s image if it weren’t for his mother’s influence.

However, the greatest cause for deniability is Levi’s wide emotional spectrum (especially including empathy and shame), while a lack of shame is the most significant marker of ASPD . (It is arguably one of many testaments to his strength that a victim of so much suffering, violence, and cruelty could become a man as empathetic as him.) 

However, these tendencies may still be relevant: A sense of arrogance—both to the way Levi thinks of some who he perceives as weak and live without good morals—lacking issue with using deceit or violence to attain a goal, and living outside the rule of authority.

I go into more detail about this idea here.

Conclusion

As is true in general, there’s very little to say of mental development once someone has reached their early–mid-twenties. What we know of Levi’s young adulthood does reinforce his fear of abandonment, but he finds a cause where his strength and compassion can be “put to good use” and give to him a life that is worth living.

Conclusion: the ‘Present’/Diagnoses Overview

C-PTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)

Levi’s emotional dysregulation (i.e., inability to sit with and process negative emotions), his difficulties in relationships, insomnia, negative worldview, absent sense of self, and finally, his persistent sense of unworthiness/worthlessness are all indicative of C-PTSD. It’s distinct from PTSD in that he didn’t endure one short-term traumatizing event, but he grew up surrounded by trauma and saw it as normal (e.g., gang violence, extreme poverty, death of a parent, (more presumably) physically and emotionally abusive parental figure). Levi as a child developed no understanding of a nurturing, secure environment. 

Negative/Absent Sense of Self

I’ve talked about this at length already, but it’s worth noting how Levi’s perception of himself must have changed when it was revealed that he is extremely strong physically not from his own efforts as much, but because he’s an Ackerman. 

His self-confidence and self-worth have always been built on the foundation of his strength. He’s useful if he’s strong, so he’s worthy if he’s strong. Along with the extreme high pressure his goal to kill Zeke put on him in season four, he might have gone to extreme measures to compensate for his strength he might have felt was “unearned” (such as excessive exercise for example). This is an aside, but it was a blow to him for sure.

Emotional Dysregulation

The causes of emotional dysregulation generally which he experienced are as follows: early childhood trauma, feelings ignored, judged, or invalidated at a young age, and physical and emotional child neglect. Beyond his first four years of life with his mother, Levi experienced all these things (early exposure to sex and likely exposure to domestic violence aside). 

It’s important to focus on emotional neglect specifically, when any and all perceived “weakness”, no matter how small, is unacceptable to Levi. He will never ask for help (being independent to a fault), he can’t define or process his emotions, and it doesn’t occur to him—and it could be a shock—when he learns that his friends care about him, not him insofar as how useful he is. 

As an adult, Levi appears to be emotionally mature, but I argue that this isn’t the case. It’s more accurate to say that he has better control over his emotions (in that he buries them or ignores them) with a mature outlook because of all his experiences with suffering.

Similarly, he’s not outwardly emotional not because he’s antisocial (as related to ASPD, not introversion), but because he’s so “emotionally constipated” that he’s numbed the vast majority of the time.

Relationship Issues + Fear of Abandonment

Because of his fear of abandonment and impaired emotional intelligence in close relational conflict, he’s extremely passive and/or passive aggressive. In order to avoid potential abandonment, he doesn’t go out of his way to win major arguments—such as threatening to break Erwin’s legs if he didn’t stay away from the expedition in season three, but ultimately giving in. He’s also more likely to sneak petty insults into arguments, give “silent treatment”, slam doors, etc. His kindness and exceptional empathy shouldn’t let him be physically or overly violent.

These are likely additions to why Levi doesn’t foster many close relationships.

Fittingly, as a child I thought that Levi might have had an anxious attachment style (clingy, excessive need for security), but as this possibility for security was removed entirely, and he was taught to not rely on others, he would develop more of an overt avoidant attachment in adulthood in combination (fearful-avoidant): making very few emotional demands—even though he has needs—withdrawing when there’s conflict, acting aloof yet fearing abandonment, having difficulty expressing emotions he feels intensely, and fear of depending on someone else.

Anxiety

His cool-headedness even in the heat of battle/war (other factors like experience aside) is exactly what you would expect from someone diagnosed with C-PTSD; he’s accustomed to chronic high-stress. But small stressors (i.e., a change of plans) are overwhelming and make him quick to anger/excessive annoyance.

OCD

Emotional dysregulation is also closely associated with OCD.

OCD is much much more than being concerned with keeping clean or organized. OCD is an anxiety disorder composed of anxiety-related obsessions and compulsions, such as frequent and disturbing thoughts or images (intrusive thoughts). These attempt to be managed through rituals (i.e., handwashing, counting in patterns). Although symptoms will fluctuate with anxiety, OCD at its baseline is a distressing disorder.

Since he was young, Levi should have had an incessant need to be in control at all times. A shining example of this is his mother’s death, an incident he couldn’t control but included dirtiness/disease as a cause he could pinpoint, so this anxiety with dirtiness becomes a major obsession, and the compulsion is cleaning. (Putting aside the fact that Levi enjoys cleaning by itself too.)

It’s a widely-held belief that if Levi has OCD, it’s contamination OCD, as it specifically has to do with an obsession with dirtiness and a compulsion in cleaning (i.e., damaging handwashing, ritualized bathing that may take hours). However, based on the multitude of times Levi was covered in blood and remained unbothered by it (Titan and human), and in fact the obsession’s lack of relevance entirely during urgent missions/situations, contamination OCD is simply not plausible. Instead, it’s general OCD.

There’s no way to know for sure, but I don’t see his OCD as mild or severe. Levi is an extremely orderly and balanced person, so it can be concluded he must have things done a certain way, routinely, organizational, or planned; when the dirtiness is “negative” (i.e., Titan blood, blood on a knife he used to kill Isabel’s attackers), he is never more rigid with cleanliness; it’s probable he suffers intrusive thoughts (likely of the violent nature), a fear of contamination, and/or counting ritualistically, but the most obvious compulsion is cleaning. He might have sensory issues, such as disgust if he happens to brush shoulders with a stranger; aversion to particularly bright lights, irrational rage towards “mouth sounds” (i.e., chewing, coughing, swallowing), etc.

EDNOS (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified)

Levi should have a complicated relationship with food to say the least. 

In the realm of eating disorders, EDNOS is sort of a catch-all term when an individual doesn’t qualify for the diagnostic criteria of anorexia or bulimia, and it encompasses lesser-known eating disorders like Pica. It’s the most common diagnosis for clinical eating disorders.

I already covered how integral the early years of life are, and beginning at a young age, if children aren’t given a basic need like food, and they must seek out food on their own, it becomes an anxiety deeply rooted in the brain regardless of how well-fed they are when they’re older. There will always be an urge to have food available. Levi’s years in the Underground were spent either actively starving, or going about every single day having acquiring food as top priority. He was a young adult when he left, so it’s impossible to unlearn this (without extensive therapy, which Levi doesn’t seek). It’s similar to compulsions found in OCD: even though he logically knows that there will be a dinner after lunch, it’s impossible to put aside this worry. 

That may mean always having food stashed, eating too much—especially in his early years Aboveground when he’d eat as much food in a day than he’d eat in a week Underground— stealing food, or eating way too quickly (as someone who lived in a place where food was considered something of a luxury resource and threatened being stolen at any time).

The latter factor contributes to Levi’s suggested preference to only eat alone—joining the fact that Levi only eats with Erwin after expeditions. Eating in front of others should be considered a weakness to him.

As time passes with this easy access to food, combined with his extremely narrow sense of what makes him “good enough”, his relationship with eating may become toxic. Especially when the stakes of his worthiness are so high—literally life and death. He may think that he’s privileged to eat at all, and when he feels worthless, he restricts himself from that “privilege”. 

He may be so accustomed to the feeling of hunger, that it doesn’t immediately register with his mind when he is hungry.

Lastly, he may have a generally low appetite. This is often associated with depression, but depression is comorbid with C-PTSD.

Misc.

Some tangents/miscellaneous speculation about Levi’s psychology:

Queer?

Sexuality is formed and shifts due to a wide variety of factors, which most if not all are terribly understudied: genetics, hormones, and your environment/experiences. So again, my speculation.

With his fear of close relationships and negative experiences with sex, I think he should land somewhere on the queer spectrum, specifically under the asexual or aromantic umbrella (i.e., pansexuality/being panromantic (attraction to personality) and demisexuality/being demiromantic (attraction only to those he has an emotional connection to)).

MDD

The odds of Levi having MDD (major depressive disorder/clinical depression) are iffy. Most if not all of the symptoms are comorbid with childhood trauma and C-PTSD: Such as persistent apathy, guilt, and/or discontent; sleeping too much or too little; lack of energy; reduced or heightened appetite; irritability. 

Oftentimes, depression, C-/PTSD, and related mental illnesses cause unexplained physical pain, such as back pain and occasional tension headaches. “Stress hormones” like adrenaline are built-up in the body, and usually persist without physical therapy and-or medication (Disclaimer this mention is based on nothing more than Levi always standing with at least one hand on his hip).

Body Language

Similar can be said of his body language from a cognitive perspective. The vast majority of the time, Levi has himself closed-off in some way, usually by crossing his arms to protect his chest; a subconscious barrier between oneself and another person.

Also see this official art of Levi asleep.

Afterword

We’ve known it’s not just Levi’s physical strength and skill that makes him the strongest, right? It should take immense mental strength to make it day-by-day dealing with the trauma and issues that he does, but not only has he survived and continues to, but he lives heroically, selflessly, with the wellbeing of everyone around him as a top priority. He buries all of his pain by moving forward always and without exception regardless of how painful the present is. Living with “no regrets” should in mental respects be a guise for pushing his trauma down, too; there’s just no words that can properly do Levi’s resilience justice.

Part of me wants to go into detail about his later adulthood, but given how very little we know (right now), I think it’d be too speculative.

However, based on what we have seen at the ending of AOT, it’s comforting to know and plain to see that Levi wasn’t defeated when he “lost” the reason to be so strong, and even his strength itself; he didn’t lose his love for his friends nor of life. 

In middle age, based on Erikson’s psychosocial stages, the conflict that should enter Levi’s life is the idea of generativity versus stagnation. He seems satisfied with his life despite the negative effects of all he went through—grief, physical disability, inevitable mental scarring—and he’s still concerned with helping others, especially the younger generation in a world after the overwhelming devastation that was the Rumbling.

My speculated psychopathologies/diagnoses of Levi:

C-PTSD (insomnia prevalent)

OCD (contamination obsessions)

EDNOS

[hwnglx]

in light of their recent contract renewal, i thought i'd do a reading on the company's opinion on the members 💌 enjoy

jyp's favorite stray kids members

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

#1 felix most profitable member, heartbeat of the group. he keeps them going, gives them the drive to remain determined. also is very ambitious when it comes his career. they think he has this inner fire that's unleashed once he taps into work mode. the company puts a lot of thought and effort into figuring out how to market him, use him to his full potential. he's also like a sponge, absorbs all the member's energies.

#2 hyunjin very close to being no 1, lix just gives more favorite child. hj has the most star power, literally carries the group. in jyp's eyes, skz wouldn't be what they are without hyunjin's impact. he has an abundance of dreams and wishes, isn't easily satisfied and carries himself in a proud manner. knows what he can do for the group. but also, is the most cherished one within the members, someone they're very protective over. they care about him a lot.

#3 seungmin cares a lot about the group's harmony, willing to sacrifice his own beliefs and opinions for the sake of his members. very agreeable and easy to manage. like he just doesnt bring you any trouble, a company's dream.

#4 jeongin cutely enough, the most professional and mature when it comes to work. good at keeping a level head and separating his private life from his career. brings a lot of happy energy into the group, makes them more of a family. (they think skz would bicker more if it wasn't for him bringing a sense of joy into their dynamic) however, can be explosive unexpectedly, isn't afraid to raise his voice when necessary.

#5 bang chan very intuitive and smart, obviously a member in place of authority. makes the big decisions. constantly worrying and pondering over what to do next, how to keep up their momentum and hold on to their fanbase. good at mediating between the members and the company. can get hyperfixated on certain things and get very controlling or manipulative, knows how to get what he wants from the company. (basically uses the company's resources for skz's “own” good -> doesn't take jyp's opinion into consideration if he feels strongly about something. but obviously knows jyp benefits from their success too so = win win)

#6 lee know very close to being no 5. jyp thinks he's someone who dealt with a lot of losses and sadness in the past. was able to overcome it by keeping busy, he's amazing at balancing different priorities. makes it look very easy and effortless. has a quiet but strong inner confidence, doesn't let anyone stand in his way. doesn't insert himself into discussions too much and tries to remain balanced, only speaks up if he feels strongly about something.

#7 jisung i expected him to be higher, but jyp just struggles handling him sometimes. they think he isn't that reliable, very easily tired and hurt, needs a lot of mental breaks. unpredictable and unstable, you never know if you're gonna get drained or energetic jisung today. they think he's disconnected to his feelings a lot, a lot of numbness. jyp thinks he's a genius and could be one of the most popular members if he didn't stand in his own way. i can sense worry about the public not understanding and judging him. (the cards flew for him my god)

#8 changbin i just kept hearing “말 넘많아” which translates to “he talks too much” lol, they think he disagrees with almost everything the company says, always finds himself in conflict with them. just hard to handle. like, even if the entire group agrees, changbin can probably find something else to nag about and improve. they do acknowledge he plays a huge role for the emotional support in skz though. he's the rock for many members. he's good at reading them, speaking up for them, being their shoulder to cry and lean on. like a soft and gentle father figure.

tbh, i can't sense any animosity towards any members here. they all have a decent enough relationship with the company, their liking just goes towards some members more than others. i can tell they're very aware of how essential the group is for the company's brand, profit, reputation, etc.. so they definitely are very considerate towards them, and making sure they're all satisfied with what they get. the road wasn't all rainbows and butterflies though.. i can see a lot of discussions being held in the past, and skz needing to hold their ground firmly in order to get what they want.

[mad-hunts]

as far as jack could tell, jervis was really out of it; and it made him wonder it was due to something that had happened while he was out with his father, or when they'd gotten here. perhaps both. jack gnawed on his bottom lip, his eyes darting to jervis's hands, which were flexing like he was struggling with something. an eyebrow rose as jack contemplated asking whether he needed some pain medication.

since he didn't receive an answer to his question yet, jack figured he might as well introduce himself. ❝ uhh, well, you don't have to talk to me if you aren't feeling up to it. my sister told me that you fainted in front of her out there — so, i understand if you're still feeling sick. my name is jack, ❞ he scratched at the back of his neck as he continued to observe jervis. whenever the man tried to get up, jack approached him and was about to caution jervis that maybe he shouldn't by lightly touching his shoulder.

but he remembered matilda telling him something about the other really not liking to be touched, so he merely was going to verbally tell him. up until jervis laid back down himself, anyhow. jack couldn't hold himself back from frowning at his poor present state before venturing out of the room with a 'i'll be right back.' and indeed he had been, with two different vials, alongside a few syringes to inject into that IV bag: should jervis want to be medicated. jack figured it'd be easier to just do that rather than forcing him to swallow anything.

he placed those also on the table before tilting his head at the quote jervis had said until it clicked a few seconds later, ❝ that's a quote from through the looking glass, isn't it? and one that the red queen said in the story if i remember correctly. she was basically teaching alice that staying in the same place is falling behind, right? ❞ jack squinted his eyes at that before a thought came to mind. a soft snort left him, but one that was done of an innocent sort of amusement rather than malice. ❝ that is a kind of roundabout way of talking about survival of the fittest. but hey, lewis carroll was all about the whimsy of things, i guess. and its no big deal. ❞

jack pretended not to see the tears that the other shed for jervis's own sake. the blood on his lips was something he couldn't ignore, no matter how hard he tried, though. jack grabbed a washcloth from his pack and held it out towards's jervis's hand. once it was out of his hand was when jack set down that teacup, the slightly too long stripped pants he wore swaying across the ground. ❝ mm, you and dad were both asleep for nearly four hours. sure — i don't think that's silly at all. i keep something on me all the time from when my brother, julien, was still around. ❞ the bracelet he showed the other on his right wrist then seemed to be made up entirely of tiny conch shells.

julien was a big fan of the sea, which jack thought made his death all the more crushing. after seeing the state that the stuffed animal was in, he figured that that bunny must've been really loved; though it didn't really matter by whom it was. the end result was the same, as love changes you. jack knew this well as he'd never wanted anything more than to be embraced by the warmth of it.

he quickly shook that thought off, only to grab the two vials he got from the fridge once more. ❝ eh... the four hours actually went by rather fast. ❞ jack cleared his throat then, ❝ you know, i couldn't help but notice that you aren't looking so hot still, and so i grabbed some meds for you. but i won't force you to take them. i have a pain reliever as well as something that relieves vertigo. are either, or both of these, something you want? ❞

Eigengrau.

A faint hum buzzed in his ears; his mouth was so dry it felt like he’d swallowed a wad of wool.

The thin sheet beneath him brushed his fingertips as Jervis flexed his hands, cracking his eyes open a sliver. The room tilted, everything blurring at the edges. Ah… so he had fainted. Just as he’d suspected. No glasses, then.

"Hey. Ahh, you're awake… That's awesome. How are you feeling?"

The new voice was barely a whisper, young and uncertain—belonging to a boy, maybe sixteen or eighteen by the timber. Was this another of Barton's assistants, a friend of Matilda’s, or perhaps her brother? Jervis couldn’t quite remember; hadn't Barton mentioned something about having more than one child?

He winced, his body feeling heavy, leaden; aching everywhere. Slowly, he exhaled and tried to push himself upright—tried being the keyword. The effort brought only a wave of vertigo, dizzying and blue-hot, making his vision swim.

… ohh, god…

He swallowed thickly, curling into himself. Something wasn’t right. His glasses and gloves weren’t the only thing missing. He was in his socks, jeans, and a now damp charcoal t-shirt, his body slick with cold sweat. His graying auburn curls clung to his neck in tangled ropes. His boots were beside the cot, his messenger bag on a desk across the room. His overcoat and maroon button-down were draped over a chair.

A flicker of discomfort in his right arm. Burning. Tugging.

Jervis glanced down at the source: a plastic tube. A peripheral IV catheter.

"Ah, you know... 'It takes all the running you can do, to stay in the same place,'" he muttered, his voice clipped and hollow; Bermudian accent casual, almost detached. He turned his eyes to the boy; offered him a faint, strained smile. "Keeps things interesting, I suppose... but I appreciate your concern, lad."

He lifted his fingers to his cheek, feeling the moisture trickle down—salt on his lips. Tears, sharp and stinging. Jervis flinched and quickly scrubbed them away with the heels of his hands.

Cold metal pressed into his spine, tight around his neck—the chain with his and Sylvie’s wedding rings twisted against his skin. He must’ve been thrashing in his sleep. There was blood on his lips.

"Forgive me…" His vision swam as he watched the boy set a teacup on the small table beside the cot, just within view. "But I'm afraid I've rather lost my sense of time. How long has it been since I…?" He paused, his voice barely steady. "... if... if you don’t mind, could you please reach into my coat pocket? You'll find a small cuddly toy. A rabbit..." He rubbed his mouth, lowered his eyes. "It sounds foolish, I know... but it... it was my daughter's, you see..."

The boy nodded, moving quickly to retrieve the toy from Jervis’ coat pocket, and placed it on the table beside the teacup. The bunny was missing one of its button eyes, its white fur faded and matted. A pink satin ribbon around its neck was frayed and tattered.

“Thank you,” Jervis said hoarsely. “I must have been out of it for quite a while.”

[dawndelion-winery]

I Can See You

Warning: suggestive, use of f-word (not the slur)

They get dressed up all nicely for you the spooky season (modern au)

Ft. Alhaitham, Childe, Kaeya, Kaveh, Scaramouche

Alhaitham:

He didn't really see a point in getting in costume just for candy

But you insisted, and who was he to refuse to accompany you?

He honestly wasn't very pleased

Until he found a few costume ideas people were posting about

If his boyfriend-material turtleneck sweaters weren't form fitting enough, the skintight latex suit he was getting definitely was

He had no business dressing up as batman, flaunting his ass and abs like that

Still, he told you not to worry, as he'd cover up

And by that he meant wearing a full on suit and tie over it

Suddenly you're not so keen on leaving the house and it's Alhaitham complaining about how you're not getting ready to go trick or treating

Not that he actually minds, of course, given how the fit that night was picked out with the sole intention of convincing you to forgo the candy raid

Childe:

He's nothing if not extra

Full on SFX make up and everything

He made the side of his mouth seem torn and basically doused himself in fake blood (he assured you it was fake)

Fake burns to top off his already existing scars?? It's like he was dressing up to be the victim of some monster attack

And of course, he had to rip up his clothes to really sell the look

Ajax tearing shirts wasn't something you knew you needed to see

Seeing the fabric pull apart with a shrrrppp sound and loose seams dangling over toned muscles littered with as many scars as freckles

They're all old wounds, but the fake blood reminds you of when some of them were fresh and you were helping him tend to them

As you subconsciously reach out to caress the side of his stomach where a nasty old gash was, you felt his warm hand over yours

Right, well, Ajax always was a touchy person, so he never had any qualms about you feeling him up now and then if anything he wished you would more often

It was a soft moment until he spoke up

"Want me to rip up your clothes too? Though they might not be able to stay on then."

Kaeya:

You only ever get one of two things with this man

He dresses cute, or he dresses slutty

And you not wearing the matching peacock onesie with him meant he was dressing slutty

Hence the Seele cosplay

But without the wig, so he looks mildly cursed

Boi really out here strutting with everything on display like goddamn all this for free???

It was not, in fact, free

If you're not getting handsy on him along the way, he's keeping his hands on you because frankly, how could you not give him any attention when he's dressed all "fancy" for you?

Hi please appreciate his hips or he's going to dislocate his pelvis trying to flaunt himself in front of you /hj

Kaveh:

He's putting way too much into an outfit he's only going to use once

And you know damn well he's going to then use that as an excuse to keep using the costume

I mean, does he really need to recreate a fully functional Iron Man suit???

According to him the answer was an obvious yes

Honestly you were just a teeny but disappointed because you wanted to see his face

Which wasn't as much of a problem as you'd anticipated because it got hot in there, so he'd pop out of the suit every so often

You'd never been more appreciative of white dress shirts

More specifically the white dress shirt he chose to wear into that portable mechanical sauna he'd made himself

Yeah, maybe he really should use that suit at every opportunity

Scaramouche:

If you find him hot in his costume, you are 100% a monster fucker

Like Ajax and Kaveh, he goes all out

Except instead of aiming for visual appeal, he's going straight for trying to traumatise children

I hope you're not scared of zombies because he's painted himself grey and made faux scarred tissue all over

On top of tearing his clothes, he's burnt parts of it, and the shirt was pretty much just a few strips of cloth at this point

Oh, you thought you were going to have your boyfriend shirtless all night?

Well yeah, but somehow with what seems to be massive chunks of flesh missing and ribs poking through

His pants were, unfortunately, intact for the most part, with the hems undone and a little scorched

10/10 decaying zombie, and he makes you go as a zombie hunter equipped with a flamethrower

Taglist:@ryuryuryuyurboat @yinyinggie @mx-kamisato @chaosinanutshell @haliyamori @irethepotato @boundedbyfate @favonius-captain @aqui-soba @tiredsleep @sadlonelybagel @mastering-procrastinating @lemeowade

[guplia]

Hello anon! First of all, thanks for the ask! (asks? idk I received three anon asks at almost the same time, it would be weird if they didn't all come from the same person lol)

fic recommendations? read mine /hj Sure! Just note that while I've enjoyed a lot of wips, I'm only gonna recommend completed fics rn.

Okay! Here's all I can remember rn:

"Clouds" by youngmoInactive (fanfiction.net):

Original summary:

"Even though he's a hero, he's still a human. CONTAINS CHARACTER DEATH. A nice look into Kai's perspective as he watches a close friend slowly lose a fight for his life."

Okay all I've gotta say on this one is that IT MADE ME CRY. OVER AND OVER AGAIN. Obviously I can't speak for everyone who read this fic but I think this will hurt Lloyd lovers. I have re-read it so many times to the point where I have half the fic memorised word-by-word. This is a must-read.

(if you're on the phone it's better to add "m." To the start of the URL)

"a day in the life of a fatherless child" by holographicknife (Archive of Our Own):

Original summary:

"lloyd has a panic attack *confetti* title suggested by my friend lol loosely based on a crack rp between friend and i   Warning for: mentions of suicidal thoughts and medication, explicit descriptions of a panic attack, including tight chest, difficulty breathing, nausea, and headaches. Proceed with caution."

This is a Kai And Lloyd fic, and I love Kai And Lloyd fics! Specifically ones where they address Lloyd's trauma from Morro and where Kai comforts him. So if anyone's into this sort of stuff I'd recommend it!

"A Courageous Escape" by Lilac_Lily234 (Archive of Our Own):

Original summary:

"In the midst of possession Morro hatred flows freely as he seeks to make Lloyd suffer for taking what he believes as his rightful title, but his cruelty know no bounds; Lloyd however refuses to give up but knows that time is running out, and in his desperation will find either salvation, or death.  - I don't own Ninjago, this is an au"

Ahem... once again, Lloyd goes through pain. A season 5 canon-divergent AU, from which my favourite part was... you guessed it! Lloyd having a panic attack and being comforted! But it's still a cool story besides too, season 5 being one of the best seasons imo.

While this fic is finished, the AU is not but I think this one has a good ending on its own.

"Out for revenge" by lloyd_slander (Archive of Our Own):

Original summary:

"Harumi’s plan to resurrect Lord Garmadon failed, during her time in Kryptarium prison she heard about Morro, the master of wind, and guy who had managed to make Lloyd’s life a living hell. Wanting revenge, she doesn’t stop from anything, not even from getting Morro back from the dead. Or The duo we always wanted, but never got. Lloyd is in for a hard time. Head the tags, guys!"

Okay. This one is rated Mature for drug usage and blood (there was nothing sexual though)

So it's a Morro traumatising Lloyd fic again, but this time he's with Harumi! So it's double trouble for Lloyd! (things go VERY BAD for him >:3)

Honestly I can't say much except read the fic, the summary's right there lol.

"Revealed" by Nation_Ustria (Archive of Our Own):

Original summary:

"Lloyd Garmadon is used to being hated. That's just how his life works—if someone knows that he's the son of the warlord who attacks Ninjago City on a weekly basis, they hate his guts. That's why he's made sure that his team—the only people he's ever been happy with—don't know who he is behind the mask, with the small price attached that he doesn't know their identities, either. It's not like they know each other's, anyways, so it's not a big deal. But then they find out. The fact that Lloyd's elemental power makes him an empath doesn't help, either. Basically the premise of the movie pre-reveal with show elements and personalities, and Lloyd's Green Power is him being able to sense and be influenced by the emotions of those around him."

Okay so here's a fic without Morro! (that's cause it's in the movie-verse) Another type of fanfic I like reading is where Lloyd in tlnm keeps his identity secret from the other ninja and it ends up getting revealed (like this one.).

I've seen this fic being recommended more than once and it's one of the fics with the most kudos in the entire fandom on AO3! So 2000 others agree with me on how awesome this fic is!!!

"What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger" by @crystaleclipse10 (CrystalEclipse on Archive of Our Own)

Original summary:

"Lloyd batted Red's hand away. “’m fine.” His head pounded, but at least it was quiet and dark. His hair tickled his nose. “What happened?” “We…didn’t get out in time,” Red whispered. “The missile exploded. We got everyone else out, though.” Lloyd relaxed and slumped forward as pure relief washed over him. They’d done it. They’d beaten Garmadon’s game. They’d freed the civilians and survived. Didn’t feel great, though. ~OR~ Lloyd and Kai get trapped under a building when it collapses, both injured. Angst and bonding ensue."

So it's another tlnm au fic! And this one has Kai And Lloyd bonding specific so I like it!!!

As I was reading this when it was still being updated I was very excited every time a new chapter would come out and my heart hurt for Lloyd each time! It IS worth the read! Just note that while tis fic is completed, the au is not.

"Officer Smith, Do You Copy?" by @hijabiwriter (same username on Archive of Our Own):

Original summary:

"Everyone has their reasons for becoming a police officer. Maybe they were forced. Maybe the profession stood out to them. Maybe they had some experience that prompted the idea of becoming a police officer. But that's only a few reasons. There are others, too. Like for instance, one of these officers is out for revenge."

This fic is entered around Nya, who's a police officer alongside Jay, Cole and Lloyd (for some reason Zane is not in this au/fic). Anyways her dark secrets are explored in every other chapter alongside the progressing story, and of course, an explanation is given to everything in the end.

On a personal note this is the fic where I left my first comment on my Ao3 account lol (the historic moment is on chapter 13!!!)

"Too Late to Say Goodbye" by @greenamethyst16 (same username on Archive of Our Own)

Original summary:

"Kai gets stabbed and Lloyd helps him... :D"

I think length-wise this is the shortest fic on the list but that doesn't make it bad!!! Basically Lloyd downplays his injuries and there are consequences... :D

"All the ways I say "I love you"" by @ninja-knox-ur-sox-off (Leonardo_Charles_BlueWood_21 on Archive of Our Own)

Original summary:

"Cole loves his team. They're his family and he does everything in his power to keep them safe and steady. He does his best to let them know he cares about them in every way but one.  Or  Seven times Cole couldn't quite say "I love you," and the one time he could."

Note: This story can only be read if you're logged in on AO3.

I like this fic because it encouraged me to remind my own irl friends how much they mean to me. In this story Cole believes that he's "the rock" of the team, and hence he doesn't show his emotions much. He's never told even one of them that he loves them and thinks that they deserve better than him. So stuff happens after that :D

Okay, I've read a lot more than this but this is all I'm gonna write about now cause I'm tired and I think this post has became too long. But if you wanna read more just check out the profiles of the writers! I haven't read everything myself but most of them have other good Ninjago fics to read!

If I've tagged you or mentioned your fic and you want it removed just let me know! I have no problem with removing it! :D

[sm-baby]

Omg sm-baby I apologize for Lilith I dragged her here and she’s just a lil stupid—

I’ve told her they don’t care, I’m gonna just say that she likes to think they’d be nice to a child, I as I have said before know they won’t, she’s just a bit slow 😒

I’m so sorry I brought such an idiot to your court, my queen— plz let me make up for Lilith’s stupidity, I’ll smack her tomorrow if you want/hj

Basically for everyone to know as a overall thing

1. AI’s literally don’t give a shit, they just vibe and if you’re human than it’s a fucky wucky

2. If they do catch feels, their gonna fucking kill ya cuz they can’t process them

Really the only difference might be how they kill you (ik because I got curious and asked that question a while back since I figured they might kill people differently dependent on shit and all)

And if this is a public thing and Lilith reads it, god damnit I’m gonna have to start filtering you 🥲 ask me stuff before you bother the gods

Thank you again for your service, glitchyk. Uwu there are no exemptions. None of yall are special 🫵

[lennjamin-o7]

The realization hit me at 4am, woke me up in a cold sweat. Techno was born june 1st. He was born in the second year after the prophecy iirc. The first batch of blessed are all dead. Does this mean techno is like- the oldest blessed? Like, sure there's gotta be some other june 1st kids but probably not that many in the capital right? Oof. The way he handles the little ones on the wall and blitz too makes so much sense to me now. Oldest sibling technoblade /hj

Muahahahahaha! He is both Oldest and Youngest child! Look upon my works, ye Middlest Child truthers, and DESPAIR! /j

(Technically, he is middle as well, when you consider Wil and Tommy's ages when they were turned. If there is one word that describes me, its indecisive lol)

Technoblade is definitely one of the oldest Blessed, but he is not THE oldest. Like you said, there are others that were born the same day. I don't have any specifics on who they are. I would say, when you get down to the hour, there are probably 4 other blessed older than him in the capital.

You know the term "parentification", where parents basically turn their oldest child into a 3rd parent to take care of the younger ones? Yeah, there was definitely a LOT of that. Can you really see a priest or a disciple calming an eight year old with a nightmare, or helping a four year old button their pants? A lot of the older Blessed acted almost like parentified oldest children, not just Techno.

Of course, not all of the Blessed are helpful to the little 'uns. Some of the older Blessed are the kids first (and worst) bullies. Some Older Blessed try to hide their flaws behind the obvious mistakes of the younger ones, so they don't get in trouble in their stead. And, sometimes, Technoblade will help a kid out, only for the next day, the kid to pretend they didn't know him, for fear that there would be retaliation from either the bullies or priests. They are trying to survive. Even if they are grateful, they don't want things to get worse.

So, yeah, he's a big bro. He's a little bro. But mostly he is bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh.

[aranciadotcom]

i love being in this fandom x

so real 😔 <3 (it's so funny when people call giz a third wheel)

also i saw someone call gizmo chris and joy's "practice child" and now i'm just contemplating that

girl that's not how incest works but you do you ig (i'm not agreeing with the sibling thing btw)

i... 😨

y'all what did joy do to you guys i'm scared

don't you DARE compare chris and joy to that monstrosity of a relationship 💀 /hj

(wait i feel like a miraculous au would actually be so fun!!! joy as a fashion designer and chris as a model would EATTT)

(but the thing is, they wouldn't know that they're both heroes who fight along each other AND they would have a weird love square thingy with themselves and their identities but they eventually like each other and have a relationship in the end AHSHSJSHSJSH 💕💕💕💕I AM COOKING AND BURNING 💥💥💥🔥🔥🔥🔥🗣️🗣️🗣️)

no bc every time i go to this video, there's new comments saying they're basically marinette and adrien and now i want to cry bc WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS IS THEM 😭

GOODBYE THAT IS SUCH AN INSULT TO CHRIS 😭/lh

obviously, i got this from a video on tiktok bc... yeah but the comments were so funny TT_TT. most of them had the occasional "they're siblings/cousins" comments in there and they were debating with the person who uploaded the video. like,,, one person even said they have the SAME EYE COLOUR??? HELLO???

[allyallyorange]

- besides the show, what other media has inspired you in the au?

- who has the angstiest backstory?

- who’s design was the easiest?

- what are your thoughts on rice based on your AU?

- can we have some random fun facts about the teezers pls 🙏

- was woosan mad about Mingi burning their treehouse down?

-other than AT itself, which I think really did inspire almost everything, plus the Fionna and Cake miniseries was also a huge inspiration for a bunch of ideas. Howl’s Moving Castle was an inspiration a little bit for Seonghwa (catching a falling star), for Mingi losing an arm Fullmetal Alchemist: brotherhood is sort of inspiring me for the robotic arm I’m planning for him..

-I think angstiest backstory is probably Mingi cus he had to deal with the trauma of accidentally wiping out not only huge amounts of the environment but also unintentionally causing a ton of death. Jongho’s backstory is also angsty cus he dealt with so much loss as a child and no one believes him when his cousin disappears through a portal cus in their world that’s not really possible. Everyone thinks he’s crazy and he was only a kid so definitely a hard time for him.

-yeosang and seonghwa were the first ones I drew for the AU and I think I had a clear vision for both of them (thank you Halazia MV) so they were probably the easiest!

-not sure what this means but Uhm I love rice? Like the food rice?

-fun facts!

SH: has an extensive record collection. Despite having a Demon Prince poster in his house for hundreds of years he hadn’t listened to any of Joong’s songs until they meet again.

HJ: aside from Mingi who is like his younger brother, Joong’s favourite is Wooyoung. Wooyoung spends a ton of time in Hongjoong’s shack because he keeps breaking house rules so they hang out a lot and Joong tolerates it

YH: had a super cool motorcycle back in Universe Z that he customized himself. He wanted to be an engineer before Mingi died but he ended up not doing that and instead worked as a mechanic. He liked the job though!

YS: despite being a vampire he’s never drank human blood before. His favourite snack is strawberry red because he likes sharing with Seonghwa (he drinks the red and Seonghwa eats the berry)

SN: The Demon King is Sam’s “creator” so sometimes he jokes that Hongjoong is his uncle (is he wrong tho??)

MG: Mingi likes wearing dark clothes and cool accessories cus Hongjoong used to dress like that all the time when they were younger and Mingi always thought Joong was the coolest person ever

WY: he’s extremely talented as an inventor but he sees it as just a hobby. Despite how useful the skill is, he only does what he wants, you could ask him to try making something you think would be useful, but he won’t do it unless he decides he wants to. He claims being team wizard is good enough (he loves laying unnecessarily harsh curses on enemies he’s dealt with)

JH: keeps a journal of all the new things he sees in Universe A. He’s basically studying the other guys cus they’re so strange and magical. When he’d first found Mingi his plan became to cure Mingi’s curse and bring him and Yunho back home with him

-yes. Woosan were very annoyed when Mingi burns down their treehouse. Yunho gets them to calm down and talks up the idea that living in an actual house will probably be a good change (he doesn’t really know how to talk to Mingi but he still doesn’t like others yelling at him if he can help it)

Thank you for your ask!! 🫶

[dont-hug-me-its-yuri]

Kindly askin', what are ur thoughts abt the love cult? Like, how it worked and that stuff /gen

I’m so sorry for answering this so late, Save!!!

But thank you for the ask!! :)

The love cults main focus is always on appeasing and worshipping Malcolm, the rock god always coming first before any of the others.

But the members of the love cult don’t actually start contributing until they’re 13, from the ages of zero to twelve, a child of Malcolm would be cared for by all of the older cult members, not really having one sole parent and more being collectively raised by everyone.

They still have to attending reading from the book of Malcolm every Friday and Malcolm’s morning and nigh-time gravel feedings but they don’t have to actually work.

this all changes on the child’s 13th birthday.

(the cult makes sure they know the child’s age when they first get indoctrinated but they don’t know their actual birthday, so they just do it on the child’s anniversary of joining Malcolm and say it’s their birthday)

When it hits 6 pm on the child’s birthday, the current leader of the love cult will use a special dagger to make a small cut in the persons skin, to which the persons blood is dripped into small glasses that are drunken by the other members with Malcolm getting the first few drops directly dripped into his mouth.

This ritual is to basically link all the members together into a part of hive mind with Malcolm, for all of them to be connected metaphorically.

the cult gives the person a few days for their injury to heal enough before they official become a productive member of cult society, helping with things such as, gravel feedings, reading from their holy book, and gathering food for everyone.

there are most specific jobs like Frog boy basically running the library and the two flowers helping the gardens with Special one volunteering sometimes.

Shrignold though is the only one that Malcolm fully trusts to actually go out of the clouds to recruit people as Malcolm basically raised Shrignold and believes that they are too loyal to stray from him.

they also operate on some schedules stuff like they all wash their clothes and robes on Sundays and hang them out to dry on Mondays, breakfast for the whole cult is at 7 am and dinner is at 7 pm, (they all eat around Malcolm btw), and bedtime is strictly at 10 pm and you must get permission from Malcolm to stay up later.

and sacrifices are on blood moons, of course!! ^_^

(oh yeah, and they all basically get lobotomized when they get indoctrinated but shhh /hj)

[themellowminx]

Dottore Headcanons

im back from the dead with head cannons for dottore even though i havent played genshin in months,, he is my current special interest so this might be a bit indulgent

note: these will be with and without an s/o ,, mostly sfw (brief mention of sex)

he has his own little wing of the fatui base (so his experiments don’t affect the other fatui or the surrounding ground

he has a few operating rooms but one big main one (he mostly uses the other ones to hold stuff like body parts or plants/ bacteria) the main room has a small office attached to it where he hold all his files and documents on his experiments, he uses the bigger one as his main base of operations) 

He is one of the most respected and feared harbingers (mostly cuz he’s more well known to the public than some of other members)

He can basically never die cuz he can create infinite clones ( but he’s still working on memory transfer) 

Original dottore is older than his clones (he’s around mid 40’s) 

He prefers to experiment on people rather than animals 

he, like the other harbingers, has a living quarters in the Tsaritsa base but he prefers to just sleep in his office 

Chronically sleep deprived (that’s how he stays so erratic) 

Has tried all the drugs 

Has even tested some harmful experiments on himself( mostly before he made clones,, has caused permanent damage to his body and blood) 

had a pet bunny when he was a child but accidentally killed it

With an s/o

his giving love language is acts of service and his receiving language is physical touch 

he is secretly very clingy

you were most likely one of his subjects but he liked you so much he decide to give you special treatment and manipulated you into staying with him

his concept of love is a bit messed up, he leans more toward obsession

he likes pet names like pet, love, dear, my sweet, and little one

he tends to have a short temper but instead of getting angry he makes threats to harm others (people you care about) or lock you in a room

he's toxic

but its okay cuz hes hot (/hj)

he likes to get you involved in his experiments and to have your input on things

he trusts you a lot (because he's convinced you that you need him to live)

the other fatui kind of know about you but don't rly care or give you any special treatment

pretty much every time ya'll have sex its in his lab or office

he likes when you wear collars or chokers

-----------------------------------------------------------------

thx for reading <3

[itz-pandora]

"2.) Yeah! I want to encourage people to be creative, and I'd love to see what people make :)"

HEAVY SIGH

*drops entire oc lore in here*

Name: Feign Red (I got soo creative/s)

Age: 14

Species: Red Panda

Trans fem she/her + bi cuz why not

Basically, she was the prince (at the time) of a kingdom called "Red Kingdom" (creative I know) with her sister, dad, and step mom who hated her. Since she was royalty, she had all sortsa cool powers and things she could do. (I know this sounds a LOT like blaze so far but just hear me out please) It was like, tradition in her family to always be ready for an attack, so they always trained. Her step mom really, really hated her and would hit her and stuff cuz she's so cutesy like that, her sister got off scott free tho cuz she was like 16 and a girly girl at the time while Feign was like 9 and a tomboy. Anywhizzle, one day hunters that Eggman had paid to attack so he could experiment with their blood came, and killed everyone except Feign because she had been going on a walk. (This was supposed to resemble how red pandas are endangered) Since she inherited all of her family's money, she used it to afford a ride to Pine Grove Village, and buy food and necessities. The Chaotix received a call about a homeless kid and went to check it out. Then Vector pretty much had a 3rd child. Also, during the metal virus arc, Dr. Starline wanted to help Dr. Eggman by catching Feign and using her as his personal assitant, not realizing Eggman wanted her for her blood already. So she was pretty much beaten until Sonic and Espio had found her, and she used her power to help stop the metal virus. She's extremely optimistic and bubbly, and uses that to hide her PTSD and anxiety.

LARGE EXHALE

so yeah :3

(I'm so sorry)

WOW THAT'S A LOT /hj

This is fun!!! Having her being taken in by team chaotix is so fun! She could be such an interesting character and I'm interested in how she interacts with the cast

I feel bad for her tho, I hope she'll be okay in the end!!

Thank you for sharing, I liked reading about her!

[2offayyo-kzt]

(yes I already posted this yesterday but I deleted it, unintentionally 🙃)

Welcome to another episode of me overanalyzing side-characters !

I'll explain why I consider this scene to be one of the most fucked up moments of the show (wwdits shitty meta) :

(the scene lasts 1min 45)

TW : Child abuse ¦

(I probably extrapolated, it's just my personal interpretation)

So in short, Colin stole Sean's car, the man is not upset with the teenager, actually it's Laszlo who is really mad because it could have seriously pissed off his best friend; Sean initially sides with Colin.

S : "Look, uh, we all make mistakes. It's no big deal - Listen, he was just taking it for a little joyride."

So Sean is aware that it was basic teenagers' bullshit and isn't particularly upset about it. Guillermo prompts Colin to speak up.

As Colin starts to vent, Laszlo interrupts him, even insulting him, Sean tries to step in to calm the tension.

C : "You can't tell me why I grew a foot and a half overnight like a human radish."

L : "Listen, you ungrateful f*ck, you're giving me the pip."

S : "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa."

[...]

S : "Guys, guys, guys."

L : "All right, you cheeky f*ck." (to Colin)

S : "Things are getting a little too heated in here."

[...]

S : Okay, listen, my dad and I used to fight like this all the time ! And nothing good came from it ! You understand me ?

This exact moment particularly struck me.

The acting was so good, the emotions so sincere that the first time I saw this scene I had to pause it (because I felt really uncomfortable)

For me, it was 'young Seanie' who expressed himself here, not the adult man, look and tell me if it was not a fucking cry of distress from his "young self", he raised his voice when it was not necessary, like a child about to have a tantrum.

And for me the best detail of this scene : while Sean explains what solution he proposes for "settling differences" between Colin and Laszlo, just behind him, on the top of his shoulder, there is the head of the Devil Jersey, as if the demon on his shoulder whispered (bad) advice to him :

S : "Now, I'm gonna count down from three. When I say go, start swinging."

G : "Wait, what ?"

S : "First one to tap out, other one's head of the household."

Then he encourages Colin to make eye contact when he is clearly uncomfortable, the only one at ease is Laszlo.

Why force him to do eye contact ? So that Colin can see himself being punched in the face in high definition, wtf Sean

Laszlo was ready to hit Colin at that moment.

Only Guillermo reacted with GOOD SENSE ! And we are talking about one of the most unhinged characters of the show, even for him it was too much.

Since when ??! you encourage your best friend to beat up his "son" (as a parental figure), how messed up is that ?

And while Guillermo is holding them back on this shit, Sean exclaims "C'mon !" as if he's disappointed that it didn't happen.

Now we can ask ourselves why Sean would encourage his best friend to do something as stupid as hitting his child; I personally think it's because Sean has only developed unhealthy coping mechanisms (alcoholism, gambling)

It is implicitly nuanced that Sean was beaten up by his father on a regular basis, and probably in the face (no wonder he resisted to the brain scramblies, it was already pudding before/hj)

//

Let's face it, Colin would never have had time to react if Laszlo had decided to hit him.

I think that at this point, Sean wanted to be a spectator, he wanted to revisit unconsciously the violence that he himself had suffered when he was younger but this time from an external point of view.

After all Laszlo loves Colin Robinson deeply, and it is even Sean who reassured Colin about that during the Pine Barrens episode.

S : You know, you're lucky to have a guy like Lasz - taking care of you.

C : I guess. Sometimes I think that Lazzo doesn't like me so much.

S : Are you kidding me ? He loves you.

So if Sean saw Laszlo beating his son in front of his eyes, maybe he would have had the confirmation that his own father loved him, that his father beat him, but that it was a 'sign of love' in the end.

Sean never learn to communicate properly (hence the dysfunctional marriage with his wife) and when he had to argue with his father, it ended in violence (with fists)

//

Sean was forced at a very young age to take on a role that he wasn't supposed to be, in this case the fight that was supposed to take place between Colin and Laszlo was to determine who would be "head of the household."

Colin here is a teenager, he should not have all the responsibilities expected of an adult, but it seems that Sean at the same age had to undergo it (he wasn't allowed to watch PBS, at 14 he killed his first deer (let him jerk off instead of forcing him to hunt srs 😭) , Sean seems to have never experienced a childhood that a 14yo is supposed to have.

At a minimum he had the decency to say "First one to tap out" indicating that if Colin gave up and didn't want to fight anymore, he at least had a way out. I doubt Sean had that same chance, and I think he must have been knocked out many times.

Sean's response to problems is usually to give up or violence (e.g. when he threatens Guillermo "to ream him" after he thought he made a homophobic remark)

Sean is deep down emotional but has never been able to express his emotions in a healthy way, seeing Lasz's love and attachment to teen Colin, he saw before his eyes what he missed during his childhood to build himself psychologically.

In reality, he is not inclined to violence, he even hoped that Baby Colin would only be violent towards walls :

The only times Sean almost cried were when he offered the Jade necklace to his wife :

[...] talking about his favorite movie series which is probably the only valid excuse he has for crying as a 'real masculine man yk', not supposed to be fragile or to show emotions :

He was a neglected and abused child and I think that during this scene he almost indirectly succeeded in repeating the cycle of abuse he suffered from, but by projection this time.

So I just wonder, if Colin had been knocked out by Laszlo (without having the time to "tap out"), how Sean would have reacted afterwards.

Seeing with an outside eye himself (teen Colin) lying on the ground.

Would he have been angry at Laszlo, at himself, at Teen Colin for not being strong enough ?

I leave you with his thoughts :)

Conclusion : get Sean a fucking therapy.

[scp230kinnie]

may I request agent strelnikov, dr gears, dr clef, dr bright, dr glass, and dr gerald with a researcher reader that they see as their kid?

also do you have a character limit? i couldnt find one so i apologize for the long request

Hi thanks for the request 🫶🫶 no character limit !! It should probably just fit into the Media Limit so i can put photos of the characters lol

Anyways I present;

SCP Foundation Personnel with researcher! Reader they See as their kid

Characters: Agent Strelnikov, Dr Gears, Dr Clef, Dr Bright, Dr Glass, and Dr Gerald

Genre: PLATONIC FLUFF

Warnings: gn!reader, cringe, blood, death, & SCPS

NO PICTURES ARE MINE

Agent Dmitri Strelnikov

Nah cuz I love him

He’d throw things at you and say “think fast” lmao

Oh you get sick one day? No you dont

He will force feed you soup

If you don’t want to take medicine may the lord help you

Hes not a big fan of affection but if you ever need it he would give you like one of those weird side hugs

He does his best to keep an eye on you when he can

He doesn’t rlly show it that well but he does care about you deeply

If anything happened to you like you were hurt, or god forbid killed, he would go feral

Or if he catches you crying his first instinct would be to ask who he needs to kill

Changing the subject lol…

Do not tell him if you have a crush on anyone in the office

He will bully you relentlessly LMAO

He genuinely thinks of you as his child

Has introduced you to a few people accidentally saying “and this is my kid (Y/N)”

He’s got a shit music taste but he will force you to listen to it

Sure, he’s the tough guy.. but not around you

He feels a bit more comfortable around you

He sucks at board games, and is a sore loser

When he’s out on missions, separated from you, he gets a but anxious but he asked people to keep their eyes on you for him

Dr. Gears

He would be you mentor when you first come to the foundation

Being in that position made him feel like a father towards you

Not affectionate whatsoever

Will pat your shoulder if you’re upset tho

He usually keeps his phone on do not disturb, aside from anything work related, and you of course

Your contact name on his phone is “dumbfuck”

Everyone at the foundation knows he’s basically your non official dad

Very persistent in making sure you get enough sleep or drink enough water

If you got hurt, especially by an SCP he would be PISSED

He has some power at the foundation tho so he would make sure it would somehow never happen again

He never smiles or laughs or anything, but he finds it endearing when you try to get him to tho

He doesn’t listen to music.

For the first time ever, you come before his job

He lends you books because I like to think he reads if he has free time 😈

He tries to make sure you steer clear of bright or clef

Tbh he doesn’t really want you to be like them (even if you already are)

He teaches you anything and everything he knows even if its the most basic task

He’s also rlly patient with you so that makes it a bit easier for you

If he ever catches you slacking he doesn’t really yell at you, just gives you a lecture

Just like a dad would

Dr. Alto Clef

Lets say you guys met through bright

He immediately takes a liking to you (platonically of course)

He buys you lots of stuff despite him probably having no money lol

He begs other people for money just so he can buy you something nice he found the other day

He just likes to see you happy

His one and only goal is to protect you

He will go out of his way to keep watch over you

Bro even recruits bright to help him

If you ever got hurt he would have his shotgun out in seconds

He would not hurt you himself, unless you take his pen /hj (reference to my other fic lol)

He will teach you how to play guitar !!

And shoot a gun 😈

He tries to help you with your work, but he ends up getting distracted then starts distracting you

Dr. Jack Bright

My bae fr

You met because you got caught up in one of his pranks 💔

He will not let you ANYWHERE near the amulet

He’s so scared something will happen to you but he doesn’t show it very much

If someone makes you upset, he has already fed them to some SCP

He always has an eye on you, no matter what

He helps you with work and he’s actually mot that bad but about halfway through he will get distracted lol

When he’s doing some prank he wants you to join him, unless it means you or someone else is probably going to get hurt

He’ll probably try to teach you how to drive (if you don’t know how) then would hijack it lololol

If there’s a containment breach he is heading your way immediately

He needs you to be safe no matter what

He buys you stuff lolol

You get sick and he’s in full dad mode

If you were to die he wouldn’t know how to survive

Dr. Simon Glass

Constantly worried for you

He’s a psychologist lol he can tell when something is wrong

Or when you’re lying

He also just generally wants to help you with anything

He can be as manipulative as he wants, but if he uses it, its only to keep you safe

He helps you with your work and researching ❤️

He’s also memorized your order for everything so he will go get you stuff on his breaks

He does absolutely everything he can to make sure you don’t get sick or hurt

If you ever do get sick or hurt, he absolutely panics

He recruits anyone to watch over you when he cant

Or he convinces the o5 to let him look at you through your office cameras

Its not creepy he’s keeping you safe I promise

He truly does think of you as his child

Dr. Gerald

He’s so funny

He generally tries to distance himself from you because he doesn’t want his bad luck / clumsiness to get to you 😭

He does try to protect you tho

Even if its from himself

Or inanimate objects

Or anything

He loves to brag about basically being your father

He loves that you still consider him a father too despite all his issues LMAO

He is kinda scared of you

He’s very good at his work despite everything so maybe get him to look over your work when you’re done

From a distance

He doesn’t really know what to do if you get hurt or if you’re upset

He will probably think it was something to do with him aw

Same if you’re sick

He will try his best but ultimately will get someone to bring you soup

He tries his best be nice

IM SO SORRY SOME OF THESE WERENT AMAZING IM TRYING MY BEST

Still working on requests so have this while u wait 😍