#You fuckinf COOKED

[joffyworld]

OH MY GOD I CAN'T EVEN

DOUBLE REBLOG BECAUSE AHHHHHHHG

Bunny Lamb!

[rabbitmotifs]

THAI FOODDDDD >>>>>>

[theamazingannie]

Anyone who doesn’t think fast food workers deserve to be paid more should be required to work a third shift weekend shift with a skeleton crew the night of a big concert while being one of the only places in town that’s open after midnight

[sinning-23]

Baby Mama (OPLA HEADCANNONS)

In honor of mothers day, here some little headcannons I cooked up for our faves! Hope yall enjoy lol

Luffy

-This mf was like...actually capable of conceiving a child lmao.

-There was really no like initial shock, it was more like overwhelming joy? There was honestly no need to reveal it to the rest of the crew since the second you told him he shouted it loud ad fucing possible.

-"Luffy, uhhh I think im pregnant." You huff, hand over your forehead as you try to figure out the next course of action.

"YOURE PREGNANT?! THATS GREAT!"

"Y/N IS WHAT?" Nami gasps, eyes flitting form you to Luffy, then to your belly.

"YOU’RE PREGNANT?! HOW?" Usopp questions, only to have Sanji interrupt,

"Well Usopp, when two people love eachother- or well... lets talk about he birds and the bee-"

"I KNOW HOW THAT WORKS DICKHEAD-"

-Luffy is a.....he's a great dad, just a little uhhhh...wild?

-You have to explain tho him that this baby cannot fucking eat solid food.

-He's learning and that’s all that matters. He knows when to get serious about his kid and when its okay to be a lil silly.

-Oh and be prepared for when your kid hits about 6-7 cause they're so much like their father its crazy-

Zoro

-He's thuroughly convinced its your fault because he knows for a fact he has impeccable pull out.

-"That’s not mine." He hums, pointing at the newborn with a raise brow.

The fucking liar this baby is his spitting image. Like your genes didn't evens stand a chance. The baby even fucking mean mugs like he does, that lil stoic face.

-"This isn’t yours?" You question, holding the baby up side by side with his obvious father.

"Nope"

-Once he’s like fully processed and accepted the fact that your pussy just so happened to weaken his pull out game, he will claim the child and make sure he's being helpful with both you and the infant.

-It was actually pretty fucking hilarious to see the baby try and latch to his nipple cause his tits are fucking massive. Heeee didn’t think it was that funny tho💀

-Just let the kid grow up a little bit and they’re all about their father, and even though he may not show it all the time, he adores his baby. And they will always be a baby in his eyes. And he things you’re a phenomenal mother even though it was sort of a surprise.

Nami

-You had come aboaded with a toddler. And sure enough they latched to Nami in a heartbeat.

-“AHT! No, you stay with me and let them work.” You reprimand, giving a quick apology to the tangarine haired girl.

“Oh no they’re okay. Hey, you wanna see something cool?” He hum, taking the 2 year old by the hand before you can protest.

-Auntie Nami accidentally turned to ‘mamami’ (Mama Nami) andddd it just stuck.

-one night the three of you had fall asleep in Nami’squarter and she had woke up and just, admires you both. She couldn’t help the way her chest squeezed when she thought about raising this child with you or how much she loved being a part of your lives.

Your eyes flutter open and you give her a knowing look, her face already tinted pink.

“Nami,” you begin, your free hand pushing hair behind her ear as she hold your wrist, placing a kiss there.

“Thank you, love you.” You hum, letting yourself fall back asleep.

-yeah she’s stuck with you two for life

-unironically calls you her baby mama

Usopp

-is literally the best fuckinf dad. Literally ever.

-he wants to make sure he’s an active part of your child’s life, being sure to keep you both in good health and high spirits.

-when you broke the news he was terrified. How good of a father could he be? He just don’t want to let you down.

-“W-What if our kid hates me?” He voices one night, hands holding your tummy.

“I doubt that’ll happen. You’ll be okay Uso.”

-Guess having impeccable aim runs in the family because by time your child is year they’re already throwing projectiles with phenomenal accuracy.

-you can’t tell me he doesn’t make most of your babies toys.

-he loves seeing you just have little moments with your baby, he definetly cried when they took their first steps.

-keeps a picture of the three of you tucked away

-hints at wanting another one from time to time

Sanji

-fainted when you told him.

-honestly he’s a little shocked. He didn’t really put ‘father’ on his goal list but here yall are lol

-he’s very supported and knows that morning sickness is a bitchhhh

-“how’re my girls…or boy” he greets, pressing a kiss to your tummy then to your lips.

-much to his surprise, he was right on both parts because you’re having twins! Yayyyyy

-you cuss him out when your in labor.

-“SANJI YOU ASSHOLE! YOU DID THIS TO ME! WHY DID I FALL FOR YOUR DELICIOUS FOOD YOU FUCK!”

-he’s not allowed in the delivery room lmao he fainted again when the nurse asked if he’d like to see what was goin on

-after 6 horrendous hours, your baby boy and girl are finally born and he’s too delighted.

-“good job baby.” He praises, peppering your tired face with kisses.

-when the kids are older he’s always falling victim to their puppy eyes and begging when they ask for dessert before dinner

-“please dad! We won’t tell mom! Pleaseeee!”

-he loves being with you and loves that he’s been blasted with a wonderful wife and two beautiful children

Shanks

-oh the minute he found out he was stunned! He was sure he already had an illegitimate baby somewhere but for one of the baby mamas to actually let him know was, a bit of a surprised?

-and that’s it. He doesn’t really go out of his way to go visit and see if it’s true. He goes on about his business truely.

-one day, he comes across a lady at a bar, her bright red hair thrown up and she waits tables, her gaze almost immediately locking on his as she frowns

-….what the fuck she looks just like him.

-she goes to a couple other of the waiters/waitresses and the minute they catch his gaze they’re nodding profusely at her.

-it took, shit you not. 3 hours for them to get a table and that was only because her boss came in and MADE her seat the crew.

-“what do you want.” She huffs, her notepad clenched so tight it crumples the paper.

Shanks only further studies the girl, her rage ever present as she slams the notepad down.

“I SAID, What. Do. You. Want. Quickly, or I’m leaving you here to wait 3 more hours. Spit it the fuck out you old bastard.” She spits, leaving him somewhat shocked.

-“How about the-“

-“we’re all out. Deadbeat.” She finishes, dropping her apron and notepad, then walking out.

Safe to say that wasn’t the reaction he was expecting.

-when he finds where you guys live and YOU answer the door thank god, he firstly apologizes (which you don’t accept right away) and explains how he already met your daughter.

Speak of the devil she had just rounded the corner asking who it was.

“Don’t let this fucker the house mom, please.” She begs, gaze flittering form you to her sperm donor.

-yeahhhhhh this is why he hardly ever makes the effort to see his unsuspecting kids. Doesn’t quite pan out how he thinks.

Mihawk

- you’re not the only one at all. He’s got plenty fucking kids running around and you’re fully aware of that, having run into more than one child that looks just mf like him.

-he won’t deny any of them, but he doesn’t feel like he owes them anything either? It’s weird and you usually feel bad that he picked you and your child when he could very well have done that for the rest of them.

-he often assures you that we’re were one night stand situations he hardly remembers after being so damn drunk.

-he’s a good dad though and a great husband. He makes sure you’re taken care of even is he’s gone a lot of the time. When you told him you were having a baby he didn’t leave from your side.

-when the baby is born he’s a bit suprised they don’t look like him but as soon as they open their eyes he’s so mf smug. Those eyes are a dead giveaways that’s his baby.

-don’t let that baby ask for something be used Mihawk will without a doubt give it to them no matter what.

-“Honey I-“

-there standing in front of the fridge, in laminated with its light are your husband and child. Their eyes wide like an owls, staring directly into your soul.

-“We wanted ice cream.”

Buggy

-he loves his babies. Hands down loves his fucking babies. Plural because of course you were blessed/cursed with triplets.

-two boys, one sweet girl, and not one of them look like their daddy, besides that faint tint of blue in their hair.

-and he’s maddddd, well. not at you but at his genes.

-“honey wait, they might just grow into it?” You encourage, trying not to laugh as he tried to figure out why his kids don’t look like him.

-thank god you were right because by time they were all 4/5 that blue had brightened and the little red glow of their noses were ever present.

-he’s so attentive with you, taking care of the three of them when you need rest or just in general cause how gorgeous wife needs rest after making three gorgeous babies

-freaks his babies out when he takes his head off

-then they won’t leave him the fuck alone about it and will often take pieces of him while he chases them around for them back.

-his babies get their own spot on the show and it fucking adorable watching toddlers dance to circus music with face paint they insisted they do themselves

-best dad buggy 100%

[thetempleofhades]

hello my pookie wookie spookie dookie kitten bear i hope you are doing splendidly. i have a request of you my little pookie wokieie spookiie dookie 🥺🥺🥺 what would you think of making a part 2 of the wratg writing ��?? (on a serious note its so fuckinf fire and i want to devour it but theres not enough to eat)

my name is pookie wookie spookie dookie kitten bear now. i had to dig out my laptop for this so fast so yes, i can give you a part two my beloved muah muah <333

It had been a month since the day you disappeared from the three archons' view but the storms persisted. Relentless winds that knocked over stalls and people alike. Rain that turned into thunderstorms, that then turned into hail. It was clear your rage was still ever-present and Teyvat was responding to your rage as the creation most connected to you.

You'd spent most of your time holed inside a cave as you slwoly cooked things you had picked during the slow times, just to be sure you'd never run into anyone but you knew it was only a matter of time before someone found you.

Of course, having to see Venti again was on the bottom of you list of things you wanted to see. Seeing him kneel before you, tears in his eyes only made the rain turn into hail as you stared coldly.

"Your grace, please forgive me. I.... committed a grave injustice against you." He sounded as tearful as he looked but you could only concentrate on your rage.

"You consider hunting someone down like an animal for the slaughter an injustice? I consider that inhumane, unforgivable, a crime is the least I consider it. At most, I consider it a testament of the hate you hold for me." Your words are angry but you face remains neutral as you stare at him coldly.

Books, Ancient texts and tales all recounted about your kindness, about how you would create things in order to bring happiness to your creations. But you had been so hurt, so betrayed, so.... so exhausted that all you could feel was your own rage.

"NO!" Venti protested in a panicked tone, scrambling up from his kneeling position to somehow convince you. "I could never-! Your grace, I would never hate you... I was... I was misguided, I was wrong. I could never hate you."

"Whether you do or don't matters little to me. You hunted me for months in order to kill me. How many times did I plead with you in tears to listen to me, to not kill me? Dozens. I pleaded until I coughed up blood. I ran until my legs gave out. I bled gold once in front of you and suddenly, you're sorry?" Your rage was quiet even as the storm raged on outside.

"Barbatos...." Your voice was quiet, tinged with disappointment. "I don't recognize you anymore. You are no follower of mine. Nor are you my creation." Your words severed the connection that existed all throughout Teyvat, the one that connected you to all your creations and them to you.

You turned and walked away, ignoring his sobs of anguish.

[tengenscvmbvdd1]

{𝕄𝕪 𝕓𝕣𝕒𝕥𝕥𝕪 𝕗𝕠𝕦𝕣𝕥𝕙 𝕨𝕚𝕗𝕖}

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The worst thing about being Uzui Tengens fourth wife, Was the fact that you were the brattiest. Not even, U were just a live soul and believed that you were an independent woman, But the god of festivals said way different, Everytime you and him got into the littest of arguements, And u stopd up for yourself, he'd always try and have the utmost respect and support, But it really did irritate him at times. The other wives, Hinatsuru, Suma, Makio all tried to warn you, "You're really pushing his buttons Y/n, And he's always respectful and showing you love and support, But this nasty attitude...u dare to defy him y/n and im afraid the punishment will be the worst one yet..." U never listened to their rambles, Because You wouldnt dare believe non-sense from the most loved ones in the house, But you knew they were loves because you were a defiant little shit, a brat. Not that you cared....right?..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today was any normal day, Just you minding your business while him and the other wives went out to get food or find something to do. U never really minded, U preferred to be left alone at the house. U just cleaned, and maybe cooked here and there for them and then disappeared into your room, but today...oh today...

today he was talking to you about how you were gaining weight, It irritated you, Because one, You're a black girl...(or whatever you are) We're naturally thick and curvious girls. He was saying how we was worried about u eating right and how "I just want to make sure my fourth wife is alright...and not gaining...too much weight.." He'd say staring you up and down. So immediately ur attitude was off the hook, Ur facial expression and body language says it all. His eyes narrowed in frustration, and rubbed his temples starting off "Y/n dont start this, I'm not saying you're gaininng wei-" you interrupted angrily, interjecting, "Are u fucking serious Tengen-sama. Ur questioning my weight? U shoulda already knew once u were arranged to marry a COLORED girl, I was gon be curvy and thick? If u cant handle it this, then divorce me, Got me fucked up."

He stared at you with hurt and anger. The arguement was on now, He stands up towering you as he raises his voice, "Are you seriously going to disrespect me like this? I'm worried about u!" You'd say, "About me eating? Ur a fucking dumbass bro!" The wives quickly leave the room, as the arguement gets out of hand, Y'all screaming and accusing each other of certain accusations, From cheating, from picking favorites, from being a pain in the ass, to you finally ending the screaming fest with "I want a got damn divorce from yo sorry ass."

The room fell in silence for a few seconds before you're beinf halled over his shoulder, and a loud !!!SLAPPP!!! Was put to ur ass, U cried out in pain, Tengens voice came out with anger and hurt. " A divorce? Really? Thats not my flashy wife i know i married. You should know by now, U ain' goin' no where."

U were thrown onto the bed, Ur body bouncing off the bed softly. With swift movement, he plopped u over his huge muscular thighs, ur ass in the air, As u throw protest, before he covers ur mouth, and a loud "!!!!!!SLAPPPPP!!!!!" Was put to your ass, He says loudly with anger and amusement, "Beg for forgiveness. U dare defy me, I'm ur husband" Another loud slap and a loud cry of pain heard "I keep you fed! A roof over ur head, Clothes on ur" !!!SLAPPPPPP!!!! "Ass, And u dare get a fucking attitude with me?" SLAPPPPPP "Ur fuckinf over ur got damn" SLAPPPPPP "Head. I'm tired" SLAPPPPP "Of this got damn attitude." SLAPPPPPP!

Ur now crying and whining, Ur ass stained red with huge hand print. He rubs ur ass, before one last slap, which causes u to yelp in pain, a strained screech. U knew u were wrong to ever defy Your husband. But u were in general a very very naughty bratty girl, but the way he is dominating ur poor ego, it's sad and pathetic. "Get your ass on the got damn bed." U knew he wasnt playin w/ yo ass, So u quickly get onto the bed, "All fours, U know the got damn drill." Indeed you did, Indeed u sadly did, Although u received a spanking, Ur not recieving a riding crop, And these bitches create fucking welts. He swings back, and slaps the riding crop hard across ur bottom, U cry out loud "Aaahhhh! Fuckkkk!" It came out whiny and pathetic..U begged loudly for mercy, but it never came except for more and more pops on her ass, She can feel the welts and bruises that will be there in the mornin' "Please daddy! I'm so- MMM!!! Ahhhh!!"

"Shut the hell up."

He said seriously, Throwing the riding crop to the side and ripping her tight little boyshorts,Plunging 2 digits in her tight pussy. "Nghhhhn!!!" She cries out in pleasure, as he streches her far and wide, Her pussy clenching his fingers, Making sure she feels the strech before adding 3 more fingers, grabbing her wrist with the other hand, and making her fall face first into the bed, Her ass in the air. He loves her ass so much, so plumped, soft, His face winces in hurt and affection for his wife, knowing he didnt want to spank her like that, he doesnt want to punish her, period, but he has too, She has to learn to respect him, He enjoys her moans and sobs, Thats the only thing fueling to his erection, making him harder than a teenage boy, her pussy about to cream as he curls his fingers.

"Youn get to cum? Fuck you thought this was...After that unflashy ass attitude u had wimme? U think u cummin? Hell nah hold that shit in."

He slides his pants down, his bobbing erection coming out, as he doesnt even hive her time to think, Plunging himself deep, All 9 inches into her, Not caring. He pulls her up to his chest as he fucks her deep, wrapping his Veiny hands around her neck, Pulling her into a chokehold while digging her guts out, ballsdeep, shes gasping her air, clawing at his arm, Moaning and crying, but enjoy every last minute of it, she cries hard as shes being forced to edge herself.

"You like disrespectin' me? Huh?, U wanna keep disrespecting daddy? Hm? Tell me?" He says strained and hoarse, as he feels her pussy clench "U wanna keep acting like a fuckin child? U wanna keep actin like daddy ain' teach yo ass how to act? Hm? Let me tell u- Fuck this pussy is so good, U fucking slut..- Tell yo ass sum- Damn!!" He groans feeling how good her pussy is, He reels his hips all the way back, now going in with precision, Shes csreaming at this point, He still has her in this chokehold, She feels like she may pass out. But no, She ain, She just in immense pleasure.

"Daddy please!" She managed out "I'll be ur good little b-bitch!" She cries out "M' pussy hurt!!" He didnt give a fuck, he reaches down circulating her clit, "Take this shit, take it. U hurt me with the way u act Ma, I want u to be my good girl, Not daddy's disobedient girl, That's so unflashy of you baby, I hate hurting daddys girl..." He coos, "But it's embarrassing when my comrades ask me- Fuck! Fuck! Yea! I'm filling you! in the most! Flameboyant and fucking flashiest way ever! Ur pussy! Filled up with my kids! Oh yeah! Take this shit Y/n U better fucking take it!" He growls in her ear, before spilling deep inside of her, he didnt let her cum that night, Slapping her ass one last time before kissing her. "Maybe next time, When u wanna be daddys good girl again, I'll let that sweet pussy squirt, But for now? Ur ass ain getting to cum."

May be short, But a bitch on a time crunch..

[verdemoun]

I'm still thinking. Hosea is a grandfather. A grandpa, if you will. There's Isaac, the boy he barely saw before timewarp, the boy he actually *watched* grow up. And Jack. Oh, Jack. (I am so normal about him.) The bright boy running around camp, turned into this. Just as emotionally fucked up as John and Arthur were at his age. And then there's timewarp kids, and then he figures out Jack had a younger sister. How does he handle THAT???

yes. y es i thought abt jack and hosea. because yes i fuckinf think jack would happily put up with hoseas bs. that is his grandpa and grandpa loves him.

oh fuck you you can't attack me in the feels like that and not expect an immediate reply covid has your brain cOOKING. sorry john + abigail jack is actually my son my baby my blorbo

If dad Hosea is intense, papa Hosea is willing to resort to the lowest honor tactics to protect his grandbabies. Like mama grizzly bear to the extreme: he might look the part of sweet old man but he will murder someone with his bare hands if they even LOOK at his grandbabies wrong.

He actually prefers being called Uncle Hosea because he loathes reminders of how old he is (even though growing old is something he is very, very grateful for). Isaac looked him dead in the eye when Hosea tried to correct him and said 'no I am calling you Pa and that's that'. He also calls Bessie Meemaw. Everyone else calls him Uncle Hosea but Isaac has that Morgan stubbornness.

Also Isaac is finally old enough for the 'yeah your dad was an outlaw and all those strange timewarp people are fellow gang members' and is immediately eyes sparkling. Knows outlaw bad but also how cool is that?? He will excitedly sit at Hosea's feet to hear stories about the old days and of course Hosea loves telling very true and not exaggerated tales of their adventures.

Between having no understanding of modern currency and economics and also the excitement of having a grandchild he gets to see whenever he wants because not running for lives anymore, Hosea is the worst when it comes to spoiling his grandbabies second only to Bessie.

Isaac, going from being raised by a 90% of the time solo parent to having such a massive family in the gang, loves all of them so much. Suddenly having grandparents for school events and those dumb family tree assignments. Isaac also inherited the theatrics genes. He's doing a video interview about Hosea's career and of course Hosea is just telling stories about scams and cons he ran but Isaac's in full old timey interviewer garb newsie cap on microphone and clipboard.

Isaac slamming the door at Arthur's fuck you I'm going to Pa's house when he's grounded. Arthur calling to say he's grounded do not spoil him send him home asap and Hosea merrily agreeing only to cut to Isaac getting cake and coffee while they play dominos. Hosea blindly agrees that Arthur is taking him getting suspended a second time far too seriously.

Old man bawling getting to hold baby Maeve. Sean trying to tell him to stop because he's going to wake her up but Hosea is the softest bastard when it comes to babies.

Emotionally ruined to find out Jack has a younger sister but also she was the first Marston to die and so young. He is always the first to offer to babysit and it was a very common occurrence to find her sitting on his lap drifting off as he reads to her. Practices her reading with her and plays tea parties with actual tea and does voices for different characters obsessed with playing with his smaller grandkids.

BUT HOSEA AND JACK. Hosea has been through the emotionally fucked teen outlaw gig so many times he is an expert. He knows when Jack needs space or to talk or company before Jack does.

As easy as it is to focus on that damage all that trauma and emotions and just darkness Jack carries with him, Hosea still sees their little prince.

The sheer emotion of knowing how much reading came to mean to Jack. The hurt but comfort of knowing that Jack, even if he didn't remember Hosea as clearly as Hosea remembers him, held onto something Hosea helped him with and gave him so tightly. How he read so much Abigail teased him despite how proud she was of the life he was going to have before everything turned to shit.

When Jack is still adjusting and understandably awkward and also mentally not coping, Hosea showed him their expansive private collection of books and saw the way Jack's eyes lit up. They both finally have someone to talk to books about.

Not only Jack lighting up a little like a candle being exposed to oxygen again but actually laughing as Hosea starts stacking books he recommends in his arms. Hosea being excited to talk about books without spoiling them also also just so excited to see that bright little boy is still in there.

Catching Jack curled up on what is usually his reading chair, book still in hand but fast asleep. Remembering the first times Arthur, and John, and Tilly and all those troubled young outlaws they picked up along the way felt comfortable enough to sleep around him, and knowing deep down Jack is going to be okay.

[moose-muffin]

Lee Vox enthusiast? Aight bet.

The brain rot I have for this man is not even funny, he's so lee-coded I swear to god-

Probably the kind of lee that provokes their lers into wrecking them (both intentionally and unintentionally.) I.E refusing to let Velvette watch TV on him despite knowing full well she's feeling playful, or getting so worked up about Alastor people will do anything to make him shut up about it.

Height does not matter because he's way to easy to fluster, you could be twice as big or twice as small but the fact remains that he will crumble when his hips are targeted.

Definitely glitches out when he's being got good, might even get to see him flash through random channels if you can really get him going. Just be careful that he isn't too close to any electronics because he might fry them by mistake.

Accidentally caused a black out throughout half the Vee's building one time, it took a week to be fully repaired and Velvette still hasn't stopped making fun of him for it.

Spends 90% percent of his energy covering his face/stifling his laugh (and failing horribly)

I'd throw in some Radiostatic for flavor but I'm not sure how you feel about that pairing so I'll leave it at this for now lol-

Thanks for the excuse to ramble about the TV guy - 📽

ME CURRENTLY: 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

THESE HEADCANONS ARE MAKING MY BRAIN DO LIKE CARTWHEELS AND BACKFLIPS I AM SO GRATEFUL RIGHT NOW!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING THESE WITH THE CLASS <3

YOU ARE RIGHT THAT HE’S LEE-CODED!!!!! He is so Lee it’s actually crazy! We saw him at the end of Stayed Gone. That man was stomping his feet.. you KNOW he does that when he gets tickled too LIKEEEE IMAGINE OH MY GOD

THIS PART SPECIFICALLY WAS SO ACCURATE AND I AM OBSESSED. THE FACT IT CAN BE UNINTENTIONAL AND ALSO VERY MUCH INTENTIONAL LIKE WITH VELVETTE WANTING TO WATCH TV ON HIMMMM AND THEN TICKLING HIM TO GET HER WAY!!!!!! THIS IS WHY SHES AN ICON AND ALSO WHY VOX IS LEE MOVING ON

THIS PART IS ADORABLE. BIG SCARY ALASTOR DEMON VERSION OR LIKE VELVETTE BEING A LITTLE SHIT BECAUSE ITS SO FUN FOR HER <3 DONT THINK I MISSED THE TICKLISH HIPS COMMENT. UR SPITTING BARS CURRENTLY

GIGGLING AT THIS ONE!!! THE Flipping THRU CHANNELS!!!!!! IMAGINE HE JUST GOES FROM LIKE SOME COOKING SHOW TO A SOAP OPERA TO LIKE IDK MTV TO LIKE IDK IF HELL HAS IMPRACTICAL JOKERS BUT I HOPE THEY DO OR AT LEAST SOMETHING ADJACENT, REGARDLESS ABSOLUTE TOTAL SILLINESS (please tease him about it oh my GOD he would get so flustered)

THIS IS FUCKINF CRAZY AND I LOVE IT ITS SO CANON. VELVETTE LOVES BRINGING IT UP OR TRYING TO GET HIM TO EXPLAIN IT TO PEOPLE. HE DOESNT TELL THEM AND SHE HAS TO OF COURSE TICKLE HIM TO PROVE JUST HOW TICKLISH HE IS AND THEN TELLS THE STORY. He’s MORTIFIED but also a little flustered and blushy <3 god he’s so gorgeous

oh my god please PLEASE IF YOU HAVE RADIOSTATIC HEADCANONS I WOULD LOVEEEEE TO HEAR THEM!!!! IM SLOWLY BECOMING A FAN OF THEM (not that I wasn’t before, I was just kinda like “haha that’s a funny concept” and now the vision is clearer and im feeling feelings)

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK <3 GENUINELY SO KIND AND SWEET AND I ABSOLUTELY ADORED EVERY SECOND!!! YOU HAVE A GREAT STYLE OF WRITING ITS SO FUN AND JUST WORKSSSS

[brandogenius]

i love ur boygenius x young!artist fics <3 maybe one where reader has a new gf and the boys are threatening the gf like a dad would 😭

"if u hurt her we will murder u and throw ur dead body in the ocean for the fish to eat" SKHFGSDHF

AKAHAHAHAH

‼️RPF‼️

BLURB - the boys & younger reader - meeting your gf

- dude they fucking know. you’re smiling more on your phone and they are like 👀 👁️ they know somethings up but wouldn’t wanna pressure you into saying so they all mutually agree like “it can’t be that bad. let them come to us”

- they kinda forget about it until you ask julien to grab your phone and a message pops up from someone under the contact “baby ❤️” and julien’s like :o. she hands you the phone with this grin and you’re like “oh no. don’t you DARE SAY SHIT”

- juliens feeling a little chaotic today so she goes around the house singing “READERS IS IN LOVEEEE” which catches phoebe and lucy’s attention both of them walking in the room like 👀 and you’re like face palming like “THIS IS WHY I CANT TELL YALL SHIT”

- them begging to know the info “what’s their name?? do we know her? is she nice- she needs our approval. she’s having dinner tomorrow bring her over”

- after trying to shove them out the door, you agree to invite your gf for dinner. you’re on the phone and once you hang up you can hear the boys cheering from outside the door.

- preparing way in advance. julien sends phoebe off to go grocery shopping, jb wanting to make a good first impression and cook up a grand fuckinf feast. and by feast i mean probably spaghetti. lucy is going around tidying and you’re just lying in your bed like what did i get myself into??

- however the boys meeting your gf went so much better than you expected. they were polite and got in very well with readers gf. cracking jokes, phoebe in the edge of her seat, waiting to pounce any moment to get the goddamn yearbook that’s lying around somewhere.

- everything’s fine and going good until julien who probably hasent talked much thag night puts down the fork and goes like “it you hurt a single strand on her head i will come after you with my baseball bat” does she own one? nobody knows but the way she said it with so much seriousness has you in shock like HUH. but she stares at your girlfriend for a second before smiling and resuming back to her food like she didn’t just drop a whole ass bomb

- shovel talk starts now and you’re banging your head off the table.

- “i will personally go on stan twitter and find your IP address if you ever think about cheating on her” i’m pretty sure you can guess who said this one already

- your gf is like “i promise i would never ever think about doing any of those stuff to her” can just see lucy squinting across at your gf for a moment, analysing / studying her before nodding. she got the lucy approval she’s all good

[strawbrrycuteblog]

BRUHHHH I HAD READ THE “Maybe in another universe” ONE LIKE A FUCKING WEEK OR SO AGO AND JAKES HITTTT JAKES AND JAY AND JUNGWONS AND SUNGHOON AND NIKISSS LIKE THEY HAD ME FUCKIM CRYINGGGGG. LIKE LAYLA CARRYING YOUR SOCK AROUND, LOOKING FOR YOU KNOWING YOU’RE GONE, JAY ALWAYS COOKING EXTRA ON ACCIDENT AND JUNGWON COMING TO VUDIT HIM, THEN HOON SKATING ALONE IM JUST UGHHHH 😭😭. JUNGWON REFLECTIFELY GRABBING YOUR FAVORITE FLOWERS AND MEETING A CAT AT UR GRAVE I’M FUCKING FUCKINF DEADDDDD I ACTUALLY CRIED TEARS JAKE PAYING UR PHONE BILL JUST TO HEAR UR VOICEMAIL AND TEXT YOU??? I’M DEAD I CAN’T LIVE ANYMOREEEEEEEE I HATE THIS WORLD IM FOREVER CURSED WITH DEPRESSION THESE JUST SEEM SO MUCH LIKE THEM IT HURTSSSSE

-🥮

NOOO BECAUSE IT WAS ALL SO SADDD THE JAKE ONE HAD ME CRYING WHILE I WAS ON THE TOILET BROO

[norman-fucking-reedus]

I loved your post about childish Daryl and wondered if you’d ever write Little!Daryl. I know it’s a bit out there but i love it and there’s hardly any mdlb Daryl fics. I don’t like it when it’s sexual cuz that’s fucking weird but when it’s like genuinely something that comforts Daryl and the reader happily takes on the role of “mommy” I LOVE IT

Okay I had to look up wtf MDLB cause so I don't make myself look stupid yapping about something I don't know about, from what I'm getting it's basically just like the sexual version age regression (which is yes very fuckinf weird)

I personally don't think that Daryl would really be into the idea of completely acting like a little boy and being taken care of like one... Like I know a lot of Littles like to play with baby and children's toys, pacifiers, and coloring sheets, but I feel like if you tried giving Daryl a paci he would literally stomp on it

Don't even get me wrong, the dynamic and basic surface of MDLB is something that he'd be into, but it's something that he would have to ease into. What Daryl needs in his life is a woman with a hint of authority, someone who can provide the emotional structure, safety, and support that he needed throughout his childhood. The idea of Daryl being more childish is because I think that if he were to heal emotionally, then he'd also be able to start healing mentally which would kind of break him out of his shell and get him to be a little more expressive

Now I do agree with the reader filling in the role as 'mommy,' and like I said in my earlier post I think 'mama' and 'baby' are really cute for outside the bedroom and reader is more than happy to be Daryl's mama. Daryl doesn’t mind you cooking for him, not like he had a choice, but we all know how Daryl doesn’t like feeling helpless. He wouldn’t want you to feel like you have to actually care for him as if he were a little boy, but that doesn’t mean dont care for him if that makes sense

im literally so sorry because I know this was not the response you wanted like at all 😭🎀 promptly blows myself up in front of everyone

[medicalunprofessional]

Hi hellow hi I want to study you under a microscope (light hearted and positive) I think your art is very crunchy (good!) I've shown your G-men art specifically to my friends every time they ask me why i'm so into them :))) You seem really cool I'm still starting on tumblr and I suck at talking but uhrm!!! can't wait to see more stuff ur cooking!!!

You can always study me under Microscropes its my Enrichmenntt.., Also GGGRAGRHHH i need to draw more pn stuff again. sometime. scratches walls . also GUUAWWHH THANKKSS UU.. Ur so awesome too man . Fuckinf Awesomed! but dont worry . talking is hard. I get It …!

[infraaa]

So , if the requests are open may I ask for fluffy headcannons for Longan?(pls pls pls they're hawt as hell and my friends from other games know that I am in love with a cookie)

『I mean- he is a scrimblo. lub ❤️❤️❤️』

longan dragon — fluff headcanons (gender not specified)

poor baby man— this lil guy looks in the face of fluff culture and spits in it.

doesn’t understand how you mortals can just sit with each other like this… but then again, they don’t have a clear understanding of what love is either to be true.

they are about as stiff as a stick in the mud that has hardened down. Very tough cookie on the outside. they don’t like getting distracted from their war crime that is quite literally omnicide.

however… a certain cookie struck them differently. they took a bite outta you and said… “this hit different ngl wtf is this-“

favorite activity with you is pottery I feel, like I can see them taking in an artistic hobby to quell their violent thoughts of world domination. It keeps their mind busy yk? Just sitting behind you, guiding your little hands along the clay as it spins round and round… it’s so relaxing.

they also like to sit with you in their den, with you in between their legs as you rest on them, their sharp claws combing through your hair. Having conversations or hell, even in the depths of silence.

doesn’t know the first thing about cooking but will try if it means making you happy. I imagine the only thing they know how to make is pasta. and we can go in depth abt this like they love pasta with a passion and will make different kinds for you.

like “honey it’s 2 in the morning, why on earthbread are you making tonkotsu ramen?” “bc I’ve lost control of my life.”

loves movies and will watch them with you. let them pick one. just do it. most likely it will be something like Get Out or Us, they like scifi horror. again, doesn’t understand romantic movies and that gush shit.

you pick out a hallmark movie and they make fun of you, jokingly w affection

“let me guess the main protag is a wealthy business woman living in upstate New York and is slightly materialistic, meets your average joe who is actually rich but hides it until the very end as a pointless plot twist, they fall in love right on Christmas Eve, with snow and everything and somehow the main protag’s father is Santa Claus. Woooooow” “fuckinf stop”

respect dragon culture— if you don’t you hurt their feelins 😢 (nah jk but they have their own ways of expressing love that are definitely 100% foreign and unorthodox to you.)

dragon nibbles dragon nibbles dragon nibbles dragon nibbles dragon nibbles dragon nibbles dragon nibbles dragon-

om nom nom nom nom (gentle— may or may not be suggestive)

this is about as close as you will get to cuddles as they really aren’t a cuddly dragon.

and they aren’t a very soft dragon again. but they try their hardest. 🧡

[sweetracha]

Ahem, indulge me will you? Since YOU have inserted the little fuckinf worm of Mommy!skz 😮‍💨👹 brat..anyways

Mommy!minho or mommy!seungmin, sfw bc im fuckin sad 🤗

Me? A brat? I have no clue what you are talking about!

But yes! I will forever and always be willing to talk about mommy!skz

Mommy!minho

First priority is your health!

Did you eat today? No? Cooks your favorite meal

Did you drink today? No? Grabs you a water and helps you drink it. So he knows for a fact you are actually having water

Shower? Well now we have to take a long relaxing bath together

Any medicine you need? Offers you a treat to go with it.

I feel like Mommy!minho would have NSFW rules as well as SFW rules

Eat 3 times a day, drink water, shower, take meds

But also like

Say one good thing to yourself today, tell mommy if you have having mean thoughts, always tell mommy if something bad happened

Doesn't like you going very far from him when in mommy mode.

You are his baby and babies stay with their mommies. Plain and simple

With mommy minho you'll get both the strict and soft sides. A perfect mix if you ask me.

Mommy!Seungmin

Mommy Minnie would absolutely spoil his baby

I feel like Seungmin would only be in Mommy mode if you asked for it

It isn't a constant dynamic between you two

He has a hard time telling when you need him to be softer so sometimes he will be roasting you and being mean (playfully)

But as soon as he hears that little sniffle and single tear, mommy mode engaged

"Baby...do you need Mommy around" he would ask unsure, worried about upsetting you more

When you nod slightly and call for mommy in that sugary sweet tone he is gone for.

Anything baby wants, baby gets.

That's how you ended up with 20 stuffed animals and all the candy you could dream of

However just because he is Mommy doesn't mean he isn't going to tease you still

It's Seungmin after all

He calls all your stuffies by the wrong names, takes big bites out of your snacks, 'mixes' up your drinks

However, instead of doing it to instigate a play fight, he is doing it to hear you giggle and smile

That's all Mommy! Seungmin lives for

Doesn't have set rules but rather 'strong suggestions'

He strongly suggests bedtime but if you say no then the baby says no

Dont yawn or complain about being tired later though, like I said Mommy Minnie will still bully (lovingly)

[trashmammal69]

Tired of being the only one with the cursed, forbidden knowledge that this folk band accidentally made a song about five pebbles.

"She's fighting with the sky

She thinks she can"

Oughh

"She puts her hands against

The life she had"

Cmoooooon

"But nobody knows what lies behind

The days before the days we die"

There's no way

"You can try to swim the sea

But say goodbye to you and me."

CMOOOOOONN

"You can try to swim the sea

You can try to hold the breeze

You can try to hide the sun

But say goodbye to everyone"

LIKE?? SEA?? LIKE THE VOID SEA AND MOON?? THE DESIRE TO ASCEND AT THE COST OF HIS LIFE AND RELATIONSHIPS??? AND THE FUCKINF BREEZE?? LIKE MY GOOD FRIEND CHASING WIND?? AND THE SUN?? HIDING FROM AND SHUTTING OUT HIS SUPPORT SYSTEM WHILE HE TRIES TO ASCEND?? Am I cooking or have I finally lost it

[g0om]

are the first time dormers this year jusr fuckijg stupid they dont say hi whwn i very loudly say hello to them and if they r takinf up both of the working cooking top whatwver the fucks they stare at me like an idiot likw oh do you want to cook? :o but im useing both... gwt one of your fuckinf things off the top whwre do you think u arw living for 10000 a month a fuckinng apartment?