#You can see the point of I was already sick of drawing XD I ALMOST DIDN'T FINISH IT BUT I'VE ALREADY DONE TOO MUCH NOT TO FINISH IT | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tae-cup · 4 years ago

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Down With The Ship | FINALE

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Female!Reader

Summary: Captain Jeon Jungkook; a beautiful mess of blood and gold. His greatest treasure, may also be his greatest downfall.

Genre: Pirate!au

Warnings: Angst, some fluffy stuff, panic attacks, blood

Rating: T for Teens

A/N: Alexa, play Roslyn by Bon Iver and St. Vincent. aaaaaaand that’s a wrap! I’m honestly in love with this series and kind of want to make some spin offs, but I need to focus on like...my big series now XD

Thanks for sticking around!

Word Count: 8k Words

Other: Masterlist

Up with your turret Aren't we just terrified? Shale, screen your worry From what you won't ever find

Him had a face. Him had a name. Eun-kyung haunted your dreams. The deep blue of his irises visited you at night and his soft hands touched your waist, your arms, and legs. The most innocent of touches giving you the fluttering of butterflies in your stomach.

You were broken out of your trance by a hand waving in front of your face. You blinked, startled.

“Oh, sorry.” You murmured, brushing back a strand of hair as you met the gaze of the frowning captain.

“Are you sick? Tired?” The genuine concern that tinged his voice was new to you.

You smiled softly and shook your head, turning back to sketching out the map before you. It was so nice above deck where you and Jungkook sat on the planks. He dictated anything interesting he saw and you sketched the coastline.

“I’m alright, Jungk-Captain.”

He paused, looking at you for a moment. Then he turned back to observing the land mass ahead. “You can call me Jungkook. I don’t mind.”

His words made you smile a little and you didn’t know how his heart quickened when you smiled.

“I see a large mountain in the distance. It seems to be of cold climate.”

“That explains the wind.” You rubbed at the pinkened end of your nose. He noticed you shivering and, in an action that surprised both you and him, he shrugged off his coat and handed it to you.

“Stay warm, Y/N. And head inside soon before you catch a cold.” He then wandered back below deck without another word.

You liked the way your name rolled off his tongue. His mouth moved around it harshly, like a command, while Eun-kyung always spoke it like a soft prayer on his lips. The callous nature of the man did not surprise you, he was a pirate after all and Eun-kyung had simply been your guard. But he was so much more than that. If Eun-kyung was the sturdy land, Jungkook was the crashing sea. And you had always loved the sea more than the land.

You stood at the side, biting your lip in concentration. The murky water below reminded you of the day you walked the plank almost a year ago. It had been terrifying and calming at the time, but now it just gave you fond memories. You still weren’t allowed off the boat since you were a wanted woman. The thought sent you back to the weight that had been hanging on your shoulders. Were they still looking for you? Was Haneul getting closer? Every day it felt like you could turn a corner and he would be right there.

You gripped the pen tighter as you traced the coast. The air was chill and your ears were freezing, but Jungkook’s coat was wrapped tightly around you, the sleeves rolled up to keep from dragging on the page. You hummed a little to yourself, just admiring the sights before you.

It was odd how the ocean, so vast and oppressive at times, could fill you with such joy. The emptiness of the sea, no soul within miles, would put a normal person on edge, but when you loved the salt in the air as much as the crew of BTS, the loneliness didn’t seem all that bad.

Jungkook was on his daily rounds to make sure people were on task. He checked in on Jin who was cooking lunch. The older man quickly shooed him out of the kitchen, waving a wooden spoon as the captain shouted his protests.

Then he visited Namjoon, his trusty second, but he was busy reading a book. When he had entered the man’s cabin, he had simply peered up at him unamused and went back to reading. Who knew the captain of his own ship could be so easily rejected by his crewmates? He didn’t even bother with Yoongi, fully knowing the man was asleep.

Surely Jimin will need my help with something? So he went to visit the blonde haired man. But he was busy cleaning and claimed he didn’t need the help. Hoseok was quite obviously steering the ship and Jungkook didn’t really need to help there. So he ended up standing beside you, thoroughly tired of his crew.

“It’s like every time I try to do something nice for my crewmates, the universe rejects me.” He sighed, feeling a little more melancholic than usual.

It was nearing the anniversary of the mutiny and though the blood was long washed away, he didn’t really want to spend it on the boat. You made a noise of acknowledgement, still focused on your drawing.

“Words would be nice, little miss.”

You rolled your eyes at the nickname, but smiled nonetheless. “Oh boo hoo. No one wants to babysit the captain.” You turned to face him, a smirk on your face.

His cheeks grew red and he opened and closed his mouth. He didn’t know if he wanted to kiss or slap that smirk off your mouth. Was it scary that the urge to kiss you was stronger? To him it was terrifying. He already had six weaknesses composed of his crewmates, but having a lover? That would be his downfall, he just knew it. So at what point did the pros outweigh the cons? He would see to it that they never did. For his and your own sake.

The captain still couldn’t help tracing his eyes over your profile. From the slope of your nose to the outline of your lips. Then he studied your hands, the way you held your pen, the way you focused on the paper.

“How long are you going to stare at me, lover boy?” You teased, having grown comfortable with the captain.

You spent most of your time with him to help him navigate and work on the various maps. It was sort of exhausting to have one way conversations with him, but you were okay with it; it was like home.

“Sorry.” His response made you frown slightly, but you returned to your work.

“Does Namjoon dislike me, or something?” You asked cautiously, not looking up from your sketch.

“No...I think he just...has trouble trusting people.” Jungkook huffed, blowing a strand of hair out of his face.

The door that led below deck flung open with a crash and Taehyung stumbled out, looking out of sorts. He immediately went to the side and hurled out his lunch.

“Taehyung, are you alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” You dropped your pad and pencil onto the deck and ran over to look at him. He was pale and wide eyed.

“Just a nightmare.” He choked out, squeezing his eyes shut.

You caught the glistening in his eyes before he left to sit against the wooden siding of the ship. He leaned his head back, brown hair splaying out in all directions, and pulled his knees in close to his chest. The man took deep breaths.

“Must have been one hell of a nightmare.” You murmured, your tone concerned, and you were. You had never seen the man so disoriented. He was often a wild card between serious and loving, but never had you seen him off guard.

The man didn’t respond. His hands gripped his knees. The captain watched his crewmate in sympathy. With a sad expression, he tugged on your arm.

“Y/N, we should leave him be. There are some things you don’t have to know about.”

“His name was Sam.” Taehyung whispered. Jungkook stopped, glancing back at the gunner with curiosity. When he didn’t continue, Jungkook took that as his cue to leave. He dragged you away, disappearing below deck.

His mind was spinning. He went in circles, memories playing on repeat like a video. Taehyung could feel Sam’s warm breath on his neck, the way his hands held his, the way he brushed against him. The man would always claim it was an accident, but Taehyung knew it wasn’t.

While the lull of the sea usually brought him peace, today it reminded him of everything he’d done wrong.

“Aish, you need to let it go already.” Sam sat next to him, his ethereal form hovering above the deck.

“You died right in my arms, Sam. It was my fault for not shooting the man before he shot you.”

“You were processing, it’s okay.”

“Why did I hesitate the one time it mattered?”

“Because you’re human.”

Taehyung bumped his head against the side several times, trying to make the ghostly spirit go away. It was taunting him with a love he could no longer have.

“How can you forgive me?”

“You did all you could.”

“Why aren’t you mad?”

The ghost stood and crouched in front of him, body passing through Taehyung’s knees. He could almost feel the man’s touch, his ghostly fingertips tracing his cheek. Then the wind blew and reminded him of the simple chill that caused it.

“I could never be mad at you Taehyung.”

The man swallowed, watching the specter lean in, his ghost lips brushing over his warm ones.

“How can you say that, Sam?” He said weakly. “When you’re the one with a bullet in your chest.”

“If you weren’t a pirate, Hoseok, what would you be doing?” You sat on the railing that overlooked the main deck. Your legs swung back and forth. The pilot thought over your question, his eyes still set on the horizon.

Hoseok, despite his sunny personality, could look rather serious, possibly angry, when he thought hard enough. He twisted the wheel, sending the boat closer to the mainland.

“I think I would be a dancer.”

“You dance?”

“I wanted to.” He corrected you. Then he released a sigh and placed a pole through one the rungs to hold the steering wheel while he took a break. “It wouldn’t have worked out. It wouldn’t have been a living.”

“Can you show me?” You asked. He raised an eyebrow.

“You want to see?” There was hope in his eyes as he spoke, his words holding an excitement.

“Yeah, for sure!” You smiled widely, eager to see your crewmate either wow you or make you laugh.

“Alright! But you’re getting in on it too, okay?”

“That wasn’t the deal.” You crossed your arms. “Besides, I only know some ballroom dancing.”

“I’ll show you!” He exclaimed excitedly, taking your hand and leading you out to the main deck.

He bowed lowly, pecking your hand with his lips. You instantly flushed bright red and he looked up at you with a sly smile.

“May I have this dance?” He asked.

“Most certainly, kind sir.” You played along, curtsying.

He chuckled and took your arm in his so you were facing opposite directions. Then he began skipping around in a circle, humming out a beat and melody. You laughed, forced to follow along with his antics. He then switched arms and continued the dance. Then he unhooked his arm, spinning you around in a circle.

You fought to regain your balance, the world spinning as you let out more squeals of excitement. He then held up his arm, intertwining his arm with yours. Your hands touched, fingers pointing upwards as he took a step forward, leading you in the new dance move. You both laughed in delight, dancing to the rhythm of the sea and humming a tune only you two knew.

There was a loud cough. The entire crew stood there, even Yoongi, watching you with varying expressions. Jimin looked eagerly between the two of you. Yoongi just sighed, but he didn’t move back below deck as he usually would. Jin was holding back a laugh and even Namjoon let his lips twitch into a smile. Jungkook looked the least pleased.

“Hoseok, don’t you have a job to do?” The captain barked.

“Sorry, captain.” Hoseok bowed and started leaving. You quickly grasped his arm, pulling him back.

“Stop it, Jungkook.” You hissed, not bothering with the title. “You’re always trying to ruin the fun, loosen up and live a little.”

The crew stood still, glancing between the two of you. Jungkook turned on his heel, letting out a huff of air, his nostrils flaring. The rest of the crew awkwardly shuffled from foot to foot.

“Jimin! Get over here, I can see you want to get in on it.” You winked, moving around to push the male towards Hoseok.

The older man easily took the younger in and started showing him the steps. You then shoved Namjoon and Jin together. Yoongi glanced at Taehyung who smirked.

“No way.” Yoongi scoffed, ready to go back down below.

The others were already getting into the swing of things, switching partners and letting playful banter slip in between the melody they all started singing.

“As I was a-walking down Paradise Street.” Jin sang, his voice clean without a warble.

“To me way-aye, blow the man down.” The others chorused.

“A pretty young damsel I chanced for to meet.” Jimin rang out next, his voice like a bell and just as beautiful.

“Give me some time to blow the man down!” They all sang back, erupting into laughter.

Taehyung reached out and grasped the older man’s sleeve.

“Yoongi, I think it’s about time you joined the world of the living.” He stated firmly and dragged him out to dance with the others.

It was soon a mess of laughter and drunken singing, although no one was drunk; they acted like it pretty well. Hoseok was clapping in time to the beat. You wanted to throw yourself into the mix, but you didn’t have a partner. The most eligible man was pissed off below deck, most likely brooding.

You wouldn’t have it. You marched down below, despite how much you hated the claustrophobic feeling of being below deck. You pounded on the captain’s office door and he responded with a stern come in.

You marched inside.

“Captain Jeon Jungkook if you don’t go out there and dance right now, I’m going to drag you out. You can spend all your life hiding from your crew and holding up in your office when everyone is bonding. And you also need to stop brooding like some edgy man baby! Seriously! Loosen up!” You paced, ranting to the captain who sat looking amused at you. His arms were crossed and his eyebrows shot up at the words ‘man baby’.

“Excuse me, is that anyway to speak to your captain?” He frowned, effectively cutting you off. “Maybe I have been too lenient with you and the crew.”

Then he caught himself in the mirror and sagged, suddenly lost in thought. That was something Captain Rogers would say. Except, when he looked at you, you weren’t shaking and crying, you weren’t flinching at his gaze. Instead, you stood straighter.

“You need to be more lenient to yourself, Jungkook.” You stepped around the desk and he swiveled his chair around to face you.

Jungkook had such a youthful face, it was a shame he spoiled it so often with frowns. You could almost see the stress wrinkles already forming. You reached forward, harmlessly brushing your hands with his. He pulled his hand away like you’d burned him.

“Is everything...is everything alright Jungkook?” You asked quietly.

He couldn’t think. The world was spinning. Being in that office, being touched, watching himself in the mirror, it was already painful enough. When he looked at you, it wasn’t you that stared back, he only saw Captain Rogers. His breaths came out hurried and short.

“Look, I’m sorry if I’m pushing you to do something you don’t want to do, but going outside your comfort zone is good sometimes, okay?” You reached out once again and firmly held his hand in yours.

The brush of skin on skin made him nauseous. Your grip was suffocating. He felt like he was drowning. The room felt stuffy, his breaths came shorter and shorter. His eyes wildly gazed around your face, begging to see you and not Captain Rogers. But he only saw the old man’s yellowed grin staring back at him, his lips spewing your words. The anger was back, a simmering pot of rage.

“Don’t touch me.” He said softly.

“What?” You tilted your head, trying to understand what was happening.

“I said don’t touch me!” He ripped his hand away and stood, staggering back a couple of steps. “You don’t know anything about me!” He barked.

His hands trembled and he held his stomach, trying to hold onto its contents. The ghost touches were still there, making him bend over as he tried his best to keep down his lunch.

“Get out!” He shouted. Then his voice went quiet as he trembled. “Just get out.”

He pointed weakly towards the door and you simply nodded and left, as much as you wanted to help him.

He crumpled to the floor, taking in deep breaths as he ran his hands over his arms. I am in control. I am in control now. It was a soft chant in his head as he sat in his little office; his cage.

You couldn’t sleep. The memory of Jungkook tainted your mind. Your heart had been racing since you left his office. He hadn’t arrived for dinner, but Jin delivered it to his office. He didn’t say his usual goodnights to the rest of the crew and so the day ended bitterly. Everyone knew something was wrong with the captain and you didn’t want to pry, but you knew it had something to do with what happened today.

The utter terror he had stared at you with had made your heart drop instantly. The way he flinched when you touched him sent you tumbling into a spiral of self doubt. What mattered was no longer how he made you feel, but how you had made him feel. Was he okay? Did he eat his dinner?

You took a deep breath. With both Eun-kyung and Jungkook haunting your sleep, you could no longer rest. You stood and made your way out to the main deck. There was no wind tonight. The air was still and the ocean eerily calm. The stars twinkled brightly like a blanket of holes in the dark night. The moon was a perfect circle, providing ample light. You leaned against the side. The waves lapped playfully against the wood of the ship. There was a gentle breeze that blew through your hair every so often.

Your nightgown wasn’t the warmest thing to wear, but you didn’t plan on being out for long. It was so quiet your ears rang. There wasn’t a single soul for miles and miles. The peace was nice.

“Can’t sleep?’ The familiar rumble of the captain’s voice met you in the silence. \

His soft steps made their way to stand beside you. He leaned against the railing. Your heart thumped. You shook your head in response to his question. Jungkook let out a soft sigh.

“Yeah, me neither.” He agreed, eyes trained on the dark sea below.

You shifted awkwardly, making sure to keep your distance. You turned to him, admiring the way the shadows fell on his face in the moonlight.

“Look, I’m sorry about earlier, I didn’t know what was happening and I pushed you. It was wrong. I’m really really sorry.” You said earnestly, hands clenched. He inhaled sharply, shutting his eyes and nodding.

“I know. It wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have known. I’m not a very open person.” He confessed. “It was just...something that happened in the past.”

You didn’t want to pry so you nodded and left it at that. He scooted closer to you. You took a step back. He snorted.

“I’m not fragile. I just had a moment there.” The captain said, but his tone was a little saddened.

You fell silent. He shifted toward you and you didn’t move a muscle.

“Y/N?”

“Hm?” Your hair was ruffled by the wind again. He was mesmerized by your beauty. Pros and cons be damned.

“You make me feel...things I didn’t think were possible.” He admitted. “I think I like you...a lot, but I was never taught love or really kindness at all growing up. So I would probably never be able to love you the way you want because I just don’t know how but-”

“Wait, you...like me?” You froze, eyes widening at the captain.

He looked more like a stuttering school boy, clearly having never matured much in the love department. You let a smile break out on your face at his almost nonexistent nod. You resisted the urge to grab his hands.

“Good, because I like you too.” You confessed, your face heating up. He grinned, then tentatively reached for your hands.

“I want to learn. I want to try, but you’ll have to be patient with me, Y/N.” He explained cautiously.

Then he carefully took your hands in his, ignoring the way his skin crawled at the contact. Your wrists. Wrists that had never had a bruise on them. His wrists. Wrists that were a permanent shade of purple and blue. He could try. For you he could try.

You returned to your room that night, your heart thumping wildly. The simplest of touches, holding hands, had sent your heart soaring. Your mind was running wild with the picture. That night, you dug the gold wedding ring out of your bag. You held it up to the moonlight, watching it shine and glint of the metal. Then you unlatched the cabin window, letting the cool air infiltrate your room.

You stuck your hand out and let go, watching as the golden ring that acted as your chain went tumbling all the way down into the water. It’s impact was a mere ripple in the dark waters.

It had been months since you set foot on land. You hadn’t missed it, not really. The swaying of the ship you had become accustomed to and as long as you had your crew, you were happy anywhere.

The dashing captain set foot next to you and you released a breath you didn’t know you were holding. Being off the ship gave you a sense of dread. The shackles of social norms and manners were shackles to weigh on you.

“Hey, you’ll be okay.” Jungkook said calmly and you took that as a sign you should move. The other members accompanying you were Yoongi and Jin.

You were paranoid and that was only made a little better by Jungkook being there. You browsed the shops, full well knowing Jungkook could buy the whole town with his money and still have enough left over to last a lifetime. You picked up a necklace, the silver chain was made of delicate links. There was a yellow amulet attached.

Jungkook leaned over you, his skin still never touching yours. He had revealed very little about his past and even then it was rather cryptic. All you could do was assure him that whatever happened when he was growing up was wrong. From the scars on his back and arms, you could piece together a little bit of his story at least. And it wasn’t a story you wanted to read.

Jungkook fingered the jewel for a moment, turning it over in his hands. He then held it up to the sunlight and sucked in a breath. It’s genuine. He thought to himself. Then he handed it back over to you.

“You should get it.” He said quietly, his breath hot against your ear. “It suits you.”

Heat crawled up your neck and he smirked as you paid for the necklace without a second thought. The feeling of being watched didn’t disappear as you continued shopping.

“Y/N?” An all too familiar voice called. It caught you off guard, your breath hitching.

You had always thought Haneul had a similar voice to Eun-kyung. The resemblance was uncanny as your supposed fiance appeared. Jungkook immediately stood on guard, hand moving to his waistband where his gun was holstered. Haneul was not a bad guy. He was stuck in a similar predicament as you.

“Y/N, I can’t believe it’s you.” The man breathed. “Everyone thinks you died!”

“Good!” You spat, standing firmly next to Jungkook. The crowd had yet to notice the scuffle breaking out. “So where’s your back up, huh?”

“I don’t have any. I seriously didn’t expect you to be here.” Haneul held up his hands as a sign of mercy.

Jungkook didn’t loosen. It was like something bad always happened to you when you went on land. It was a little exhausting at this point.

“Please, you and I both didn’t want this, but if I don’t bring you back and marry you, I’m going to be disowned. My parents can’t have a bachelor son who couldn’t even keep track of his fiance in their image.”

You almost felt bad for him. You had both been forced into the situation and while you fled and started a new life, he was forced to bear the brunt of your actions. And for that I’m sorry. You thought, but you didn’t have the decency to voice your thoughts.

“There’s no way she’s going to marry you.” Jungkook’s eyes were wild.

He began playing the part of the maddened captain everyone saw him as. And you saw it too, just for a moment. Was there any way out of this predicament without violence? Surely Haneul would not let you simply walk away. He had been waiting a little over a year to find you and keep his head from being disowned. There was no way he was about to let you go.

“If she doesn’t, It’ll cause a massive uproar in the houses!”

“Good.” Jungkook spat.

You knew how chaotic that would be. While you were technically a pirate who cause chaos all the time, you were not a crew who did so ‘just because’. This just didn’t have a good reason. Besides, the noble houses were still a part of the hierarchy of society. What would happen if they were thrown into such unrest?

“You still have a search warrant out for you, Y/N. The prices have been upping since your departure.” Haneul spoke. You frowned in response. “It’s at 500,000 gold shillings. That’s enough to last a man most of his lifetime in comfort.”

“Yes, I know how many shillings that is.” You said bitterly.

You thought over your options. Running was out of the question. There were two of you and one of him. Your disadvantage would be running through the crowd and Haneul was always a fast runner. The second option was to stay and talk to him, but that gave him ample time to call for backup. The third option...was not one that would please Jungkook, but it was also the best way to get Haneul to stand down.

What can ya say? If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.

Jungkook was reaching his breaking point. Your lightest touches were reversing years of mental and physical torture. While he’d never be whole ever again, you filled the space well enough. You were humming softly to yourself, a tune only you knew, as you filled in the key for the newest map.

“Y/N?” He called, watching you look up. Your eyes were curious as you stared at him. He felt his breath hitch at the way your hair fell perfectly around your face.

“What is it, Jungkook?” You asked.

“Thank you.” He said.

You tilted your head, eyebrows knitting together in the cutest expression. You set your pen down and reached out, brushing a strand of hair behind his ear. You made sure not to brush your hand against his cheek.

“For what?”

“Everything.” He said vaguely, years of practiced poise coming in between him speaking earnestly with you.

“Are you alright?” You stared intently into his eyes. You placed your hand on his forehead without thinking to check his temperature. Yet, his skin didn’t crawl at your contact. His forehead was warm, but normal, which meant he wasn’t sick.

Jungkook had a dam. It was a high wall and it built itself higher every time he held back his emotions. Behind was a swirling tide of tears and pain waiting to be released. The waters swelled once more. He bit his lip and started building the wall higher. His doe eyes widened as he tried to keep the tears at bay. When he looked into your eyes, you seemed to genuinely wonder if he was okay. When was he ever okay?

He inhaled shakily.

“Do you really want to know?”

“Yes.” You said without hesitation, shoving the papers in front of you to the side. The ink rolled onto the floor. He laced his fingers together, knees bouncing as he pondered what to say.

“Okay.” He released a breath. “I need to start at the beginning.”

When his story was told through and through, no detail spared no matter how gruesome, he finally met your gaze. In your eyes were...tears. You looked devastated and as much as you wanted to reach out and hold him, you knew how much he disliked skin on skin.

“What they did to you was wrong, Jungkook.” You said firmly, though your voice shook at the very last word. He closed his eyes, leaning back in his chair.

“I’ve been trying to convince myself of that since I was 18. But it’s easier said than done.” He felt the dam breaking. The wall was old, cracks letting out small streams of water.

“We can help you. We’ll be with you every step of the way.” You cleared your throat. “I will be with you every step of the way.”

The captain felt like a small child under your warm gaze. He was once again a vulnerable boy, one who couldn’t understand the evils befalling him. He threw his hands over his face, scooting his chair back and curling over in his lap. His head hit his thighs to avoid your eyes. The dam broke.

Haneul was tired. Tired and angry. A year of berating, pitied looks, and whispers behind his back had let the rage build up. He let it brew, blaming it all on you. You were the reason he was being disowned. You were selfish. You put him through this. Yet, he sat next to you, a bowl of soup in front of him and an anxious crew watching.

He carefully picked it up, examining the contents. Broth. Carrots. What else was in there? It couldn’t be too bad. You watched him with a smile, knowing he was probably going through the same thought process as you had.

“And there’s nothing else in this?” He said skeptically.

“Just carrots and soup!” Jin defended. You snickered behind your hand. Jin turned and slapped your arm. “It is!”

“If that’s just carrots and soup, then I’m just a brain on wheels.” You chuckled.

“Seriously!” Jin shouted. Haneul sighed and took a sip.

He swallowed. The crew held their breaths. Then he went and took another bite. You gaped.

“Oh it’s not too bad, Jin!” Haneul smiled, but his ears were growing red. “It had a little, achem, kick.”

Jin puffed out his chest and crossed his arms. “See! You all underestimate me. Or maybe…”

“Don’t say it.” Yoongi groaned.

“I’m just saying you might just be wusses and Haneul here can actually stomach it because he has the balls.” Jin clapped the young man on his back.

The captain sputtered at that. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” The older man pointed at the captain. “You don’t have the balls to drink the soup, all of you. You just complain.”

“I bet I can drink more than you!” Taehyung pointed at Yoongi. The pale man’s face dropped, his expression of neutral impassivity.

“You’re going to lose that bet.”

Haneul watched the crew, still trying to get out of his habits as a nobleman. He needed to blend in, get you to trust him. He cleared his throat, which was still burning.

“I’m going to get a bit of fresh air.” He declared, his body still sore from spending a night in the jail. You nodded at him and he hated the happy look on your face.

Why did you get to be happy when he was miserable? Weren’t you the one who ran away from the problem? He glanced at your ring finger, but there was no glint of gold. The captain had several rings and earrings, but nothing on his ring finger. You and the captain were speaking quietly to each other. Haneul saw the captain smile when he spoke with you.

He dropped the message off the ship and prayed the tide would take it where it needed to go. Then he breathed in the sea air. He hated the ocean, always preferred land. He heard footsteps and knew it was you. You stood there, observing him for a moment.

“What are you doing?”

“Missing home.”

You narrowed your eyes. He had yet to walk the plank, he wasn’t a true crew member yet and you were allowed your reservations. You remembered Jungkook’s words. We all hold a deep love for the sea. Yet, here Haneul was moaning about home. It only helped to set in more of your suspicions.

“I get that.” You said quietly. You took a place next to him.

“I don’t understand the universe, Y/N.” He started slowly. You faced him, confusion written on your face, but he didn’t turn to face you. “You’re so happy, so free. You get to do the things you’ve always wanted to do while I’m still constrained.”

“I followed what I wanted to do. If you don’t want to live a life at sea, then we should drop you off at the nearest village and you can be on your way.” You said softly.

“You don’t understand! Y/N! You ran away from your problems! Why do I have to be punished for your mistakes?” He trembled with rage, the powerful emotion pulling at him from all edges and bursting at the seams.

“I’m sorry, Haneul.” you said, seeing how he truly felt. The anger that was dripping off of him like honey had a bittersweet taste. “I’m doing what I love and you should too.”

“I can’t be a nobleman if I’m disowned. There’s not a suitable girl within the houses for another five years.” He bit his lip and looked to the night sky. “Which is why I need to bring you back.”

You took a step away from him, itching to go back below deck.

“You can’t be serious, Haneul?”

“You had your little adventure, you got to be a pirate, yay. Now let’s go back and maybe we can salvage your reputation.”

“Reputation?” You sputtered. “This has nothing to do with that. I’m never going to go back with you.” You said furiously. “We’ll be dropping you off at the nearest village first thing.”

He turned to look at you finally. A haunting look was in his eyes.

“And how far away is the nearest village?”

“A day and night away.”

“And you really think our parents wouldn’t have sent a ship with both of us missing?” He chuckled darkly. You backed away.

“What did you do? Haneul what did you do?” You screeched, racing away as he laughed. You flung open the door to the lower deck where the crew was still eating happily.

They all stopped talking, taking in your ragged form. Immediately, Jungkook stood and went to you. He didn’t touch you, but he had concern written on his face. His gaze was steely, but you didn’t cower.

“What’s wrong, love?” He asked, his voice hoarse.

“Where’s Haneul?” Jimin piped up.

“He tricked us.” You took a deep breath and met your lover’s gaze. “Haneul tricked us.”

Taehyung yawned, his guns resting on his lap. The ghost of Sam hovered nearby.

“You should get some sleep.” He chided.

“I know, Sam.” Taehyung grumbled. “But I have night watch and I won’t let my crew down.”

“Will a ship really attack? I think Haneul may have been bluffing.” Taehyung could almost feel his breath. The gunner shook his head.

“No can do.” He replied, fiddling with his guns.

“Then let me rest, Tae, so I don’t have to watch you do this to yourself.” The ghost pleaded. Taehyung smiled a little.

“Nope. You’re staying right here, Sam.” He murmured. The man watched the horizon. No one was in sight for miles. Maybe he would just shut his eyes for one minute.

One minute too late.

The sound of hushed voices woke him up. He knew those voices were not his crew’s. Then his eyes traveled to the brooding black ship sidled up next to them. Taehyung flung himself up, lurching towards his guns. Sam was gone. How many crews were going to be slaughtered on his watch? His heart quickened. Taehyung didn’t have time to feel the guilt of this information, he needed to act.

The gunner opened the door to the lower deck and quietly shut it behind him. Then he raced to the captain’s office.

“Come in.”

“Captain, they’re here. They’re on the upper decks, we need to attack while we still can.” Taehyung said breathlessly. Jungkook’s eyes widened.

“How did they board? Nevermind, what matters is that they’re on the ship already.” He stood and opened his drawer that had a gun in it. Then he flung open his office door. “Gather the men. We’re going to battle.”

BTS had never really been in a battle. They often had the upper hand in a situation and crews went down without a fight. But it was at this moment that you remembered that everyone in the crew could hold their own.

Yoongi held a harpoon and he was tangoing with an invader. Their figures were mere shadows in the moonlight. You had taken a knife from the kitchen, but you didn’t want to attack in case they were your men. The only sounds were the rhythmic pounding of the sea and the grunts of the men wrestling on the deck.

There were a few cracks of light as gunpowder fizzed in the air and stung your nose. It was like an awful hellscape. You stepped in a liquid and prayed it was water and not a puddle of blood. Lifting up your foot to examine, your fears were confirmed.

You sidestepped a body that was flung off the side. You knew the man to be an enemy because Jin’s face lit up in the moonlight in front of you. He was breathing heavily, a dried streak of rusty blood down his face.

“Y/N, get the rowboat ready. We need to leave, they’ve brought too many men and we’re only seven.” He shouted over the commotion.

The crack and pop of several guns went off at once, lighting the sky up with gray smoke.

Hoseok ran over, looking a little worse for wear. He had a bruise forming on his cheek and a painful gash on his arm.

“We’ve got to go, now.” He grasped your arm, trying to pull you away.

His face was serious, angry, pained. All emotions you never expected to attribute to the man. Jungkook. You turned to watch the figures. You recognized Jimin’s blonde hair.

“Jimin!” You shouted as an enemy approached him with a knife.

Jimin turned, the sweet boy looking at you with wide eyes. The cabin boy was never meant for battle.

A guttural scream of rage came from the side and the hiss of a gun going off lit up the deck. Taehyung’s face was illuminated, thoroughly pissed. He refused to hesitate again. He wouldn’t let another crew member die on his watch. He shot at the would be attacker, but you assumed it must have been adrenaline making his hand shaky.

He missed. In all your time on the ship, Kim Taehyung had never missed a shot. Everything was working against you. Taehyung jumped in front of Jimin, resulting in him getting punched in the nose, blood instantly spurting.

You tore your grasp away from Hoseok.

“Y/N, stop!”

“Hobi! The crew needs me!” You shouted, racing towards Jimin.

You pulled Taehyung up and grabbed Jimin’s arm as Jungkook shot the enemy dead.

“Tae, get up, Jimin, help him.” You wrapped a dazed Taehyung’s arm around Jimin’s shoulder.

The cabin boy nodded at you and you could see the steel behind his eyes. The timid boy was anything but timid. Jungkook ran towards you.

“Y/N, you need to get off the ship. The others are already going to the rowboat.” He said, his voice hurried and his eyes wide.

Your eyes trailed to six familiar shapes climbing into the rowboat.

“But someone needs to stay behind to release it.” You said quietly. Jungkook nodded.

“I know.”

“You can’t really be suggesting yourself, you self-sacrificing bastard?!” You shouted, feeling tears pricking at your eyes. His face was sculpted perfectly in the moonlight, a white spotlight beaming down just for him.

“Please, Y/N, I don’t have any other choice. A captain always goes down with the ship.”

“No.” You stood firmly, tired of being pushed around finally. You inhaled sharply. “I have nothing to return to. I won’t let you do this alone.”

“Y/N…I love you” He sighed and then, out of character, he drew you into a hug. Your breath hitched. His skin didn’t crawl at the touch. “Please don’t do this.” He whispered.

“I love you too, Jungkook, but-” You started, rubbing his back. You looked over his shoulder. “Jungkook!” You screeched. The man tensed in your hold, turning around just in time to see the figure coming towards him.

Everything slowed.

The captain pushed you away, and faced the man. There was this terrible high pitched noise in the background. The last enemy had found you and you recognized him. Myung-suk. And there were more coming. The glint of steel meeting flesh flashed in your eyes. You reached out for him, your lover. His face went pale.

His inky black hair glistened in the moonlight. His blood stained the floorboards and there was still the screeching sound. You met his eyes one last time. His lips mouthed ‘it’s okay’.The man threw the captain’s lifeless body off the side of the ship. The screeching sound, you’d come to realize, were your own screams. His body was nothing more than a ripple in the sea.

The world went back into motion. You immediately kicked the young soldier in the chest, effectively winding him like you’d seen Namjoon do once or twice. Then you took a big fistful of his shirt and pushed him off the side of the ship, not hearing his cries over your own. You whispered a prayer for Jungkook and cursed Myung-suk.

May Jungkook become one with the sea and may Poseidon have no mercy on the man with the bloodied knife. Your hands shook, pain overtaking your mind. You didn’t have time to sob. The ship was headed towards the rocks. The crew was still in the rowboat, waiting for someone to release them.

Mourning would get you nowhere. Despite the aching cavity in your chest, your crew needed you. He would have wanted that. So you refused the urge to dive right into the sea after him. You just wanted to be one with the sea, to let it wash over your wounds. Instead, you ran down the decks you had spent the last year of your life on. The ghostly memories of your crewmates flooded back to you.

You saw Namjoon first, his memory turning to look at you.

Ah, you’re the new crew member, I see? Welcome to the family.

You swiped at your eyes. Yoongi’s ghostly form stood, his harpoon in hand, the memory reminding you of sunny days.

Y/N, stop looking at me like that. If you want to know how to fish, I’ll show you. Here, c’mere.

You let another teardrop fall. The wheel sat empty as you passed it. Hoseok’s memory stood there, turning the ship, whispering with Jimin.

Y/N! Want to dance?

Jimin smiled, his eyes crinkling wonderfully.

Y/N, I’m sorry for sleeping on the job last night. Thanks for covering for me!

His chuckle was beautiful. Seokjin had his hands on his hips.

I didn’t put anything in that soup, you wusses. He argued.

Taehyung leaned his head on the side of the ship.

It’s nothing, just a nightmare.

You tried to breathe, but the worst memory was next.

The sky seemed to clear as you went through it once more. A well built man stood on the end of the ship. The night of gunpowder fell away. His hair ruffled in the wind. He turned to you, a smile on his face, doe eyes crinkling in delight. Jungkook held out his hand, his captain attire as crisp as ever.

Are you ready, little miss?

And you almost took his hand.

You tore your eyes away, turning to where the crew now rested. Six in the boat, one at the bottom of the sea, one staying on the ship. You started lowering the ropes, ignoring the shouts of the crew. You felt a ghostly presence and you just knew it was him. Jungkook placed a hand on your back, guiding you through the motions.

“Sh, it’s going to be alright. Stop shaking, love. You’re doing so well.” He whispered words of praise.

“Y/N, stop, just climb aboard.” Namjoon’s words suddenly hit you. You stared incredulously at the man.

“So we can all die?” You shouted. Tears traced their way down your cheeks. “Namjoon, do you trust me?”

The man looked unsure, a pain behind his eyes. He looked down at the sea, his eyes drifting to the place his oldest friend perished. He looked devastated. And he was. His heart was breaking open for the young boy who deserved better, the boy who despite all odds, worked to make a name for himself. But above all, he was glad that his body was resting in the waves of the place he loved the most; The sea. He couldn’t mourn, he had to do his job as a first mate. He had to become the leader the crew needed. He couldn’t hesitate and let them all perish. You weren’t budging either.

Did he trust you?

“Yes.” He responded softly. You nodded and let the ropes fall, placing the boat gently into the water.

You couldn’t stop the tremble of your hands. All you wanted to do was cry, fall to the floor and let the sobs overtake your body. The boat drifted into the ocean and the rope fell away. The other ship blasted a hole into the side of BTS. You tumbled to the ground, sobs finally wracking your body. You watched the rowboat headed toward the shore.

“Get up.” Jungkook urged. “Y/N, get up.” His voice was firm, his ghost as clear as day.

“Jungkook, I-”

“You shouldn’t have, love. I should’ve been there.” He whispered. “You should find another way out. Don’t sacrifice yourself for a foolish captain like me.” You could almost hear his sheepish smile.

You stood, placing your hands on the side of the ship and watching the water come closer. You sniffled, letting your stomach drop as the ship sunk farther. Your eyes were glossy with tears, your heart shattered, so with all the courage left in your body, you turned to face his ghost. You hair flew in the breeze and the moment was of peaceful contrast to moments before.

“No, I’m going down with the ship.”

You were falling. The world seemed to slow, going still as if you had halted in mid air. The waves welcomed you home, embracing you to your bones. Taehyung’s smile, Jin’s laugh, Yoongi’s quiet nods, Hoseok’s dancing, Jimin’s eyes, Namjoon’s voice, Jungkook’s face.

They held you close, but Jungkook’s ghost held you the tightest as the rest faded away. When you looked up, there was no shadowy figure diving in to save you. It was just dark, the light of the sinking BTS illuminating the water.

The ghost of his lips hovered over yours as the sky sank farther out of reach. Your lungs filled with water, body finally being overtaken with the sea. Black ink fell across your vision as Jungkook’s ghost whispered words of praise. A bittersweet ending to the ship of the Bulletproof Boy Scouts.

You glimpsed his face, his ethereal body hovering above you, now one with the ocean. The crew had always been a mess, a tragically beautiful mess, but him, most of all.

Sea and the rock below Cocked to the undertow Bones, blood and teeth erode With every crashing node

Taglist: @lovelyseomin @yoongi-sugaglider @merakiiverse

#bts #bts x reader #Jeon Jungkook #Jungkook x reader #Jungkook #JK #tatawrites #pirate au #fluff #angst #Down With The Ship #major character death

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raevenlywrites · 4 years ago

Text

The Ties That Bind 16 of ???

By the time Rei and the serpiente returned, I was more than ready to surrender myself to the simplicity of my hawk’s form. Zane had the comfort of his actual people now; he didn’t need me. He had Adelina, his actual mate, and whatever friends and lovers he had among his other people. They could help him grieve his younger brother. I had done my part.

On wing, we reached the Keep much faster than the company on foot. I trusted Karashan to keep my people that had remained behind safe and in line. I did not trust those posted at the Keep not to attack first and ask questions later when a group of armed serpents showed up at their door.

But I also didn’t trust myself to deal with them all, not just yet. Between my mother and the generals, and the kiss with Rei, and the heart wrenching memory sharing with Zane and Adelina-- no. I needed a break. And I deserved one.

I alighted far enough from the Keep to hopefully not draw the noticed of any watch, trusting Rei and Raymond to follow. A Shardae never flew anywhere alone, but these two were surprisingly not as stifling as I usually felt with an escort. Raymond kept a discrete distance, resting in a tree in his raven form, while the smaller crow that was Andreios made for the clearing my hawk alighted in. Almost before he’d completely transformed, I had my arms around him.

Rei stiffened, but it was only a moment of surprise, I thought. His arms went around me easily enough, and it was familiar enough to be the source of comfort I’d hoped it would be.

For a brief moment, I wished I could simply share emotion with him as Zane and I had. How much easier would it be to simply let him in, to allow my exhaustion and pain and confusion and doubts wash over him, to have him simply know. But at the same time, I was grateful for the avian reserve that kept us both apart. I didn’t have the strength right now to deal with whatever emotions he might unload on me.

“Dani--“

“Just give me a moment, Rei. Please.”

It didn’t take a serpent’s sense to hear the desperation in my voice. He held me tighter, and I swallowed down a sob. I normally didn’t struggle this much to compose myself. But Zane had asked me not to hide, and it left me slow with my defenses now. I burrowed into Rei’s chest, feeling the strong, familiar heartbeat under my cheek, as steady and constant as the beat of my own hawk’s wings.

Gradually, peace returned, or as much of it as I ever felt. I was steadier, at least, and could stand to pull enough away to look up at him.

“Thank you.”

His look was equally parts amazement and pity. “Dani, of course. You know I’m always here for you. However you need me.”

The words turned me to jelly, and I longed to be able to give into them. Maybe, if I’d ever felt safe enough to feel the full extent of my feelings, his kiss wouldn’t have overwhelmed me. My heart steeled with determination to see the day where I could let myself love, fully, without reservation or fear of loss. I would see myself love this man, and whatever children--

The sharp rasp of Raymond’s raven bark cut through my thoughts. He alighted a moment later, melting into human form. For once, the sight of him did not stir the old pain of mourning Vasili. No, my only thought was dread for the news he delivered.

“Patrols, my lady. The serpiente should still be far enough out, but they won’t be for long.”

Rei’s face hardened, the grim lines of a soldier turning him from grounding rock into shielding fortress once more.

“Shardae, we must go. Whatever plans you have with the Arami, they will all be for not if the last prince of the Cobriana is slain on our doorstep.”

“Generals.” For once, I sounded as cool and commanding as she, “Kindly help me clean this room up. I am expecting company shortly, and it would not do for Zane Cobriana to see his people reduced to figures and arrows.”

I nodded and took to the air without another word. I wasn’t quite the full respite my heart ached for, but it had been a moment to catch my breath, and to know that Rei still had my back. We would address the kiss another time. For now, he was still my Rei, even under the hardness of Flight Commander Andreios. I would need both in the coming days, and I was beyond grateful to know I hadn’t lost them.

The Generals were already assembled when we landed, and in fact, had been in council more or less since I’d left. Even when my mother had flown the fields in search of me, they had been amassing information about the serpiente movements, or lack thereof. The charts and maps all over the war room steeled my resolve. I walked right up to one, which I recognized at the section of lands surrounding the Lyssia farmhouse, and pulled it straight down, ignoring the various cries from behind me. My mother, I noted, was absent from the council room.

“My lady?” General Viridian asked. As the youngest of my generals, he was most likely to have seen Zane fight personally. I didn’t begrudge him his sudden paleness.

“I can only assume my mother’s absence means she has not informed you of our impending guest, or else the scouting parties would have already been recalled. Speaking of, Rinnman, would you see to that?”

The old goshawk coughed, spluttered, but finally simply stood to do just that. Perhaps it was Rei’s glare from over my shoulder. Or perhaps it was the meticulous way I was shredding the map in my hands. A waste of a good map, yes, but if it got my point across, I would tear down each chart and map and ledger book and record piece by fragile little peace. I was going to be listened to, and I was going to be obeyed.

“You truly intended to entertain him here, my lady?” Viridian asked again. He still had yet to regain his color.

He raised a valid question, and one had I had given my thoughts over to as we flew.

“He will be presented to the court as any visiting dignitary would, yes, but I prefer for a more secure location for our actual peace talks. I would rather keep our guest and his guards in a less central location to the daily activities of the Keep.”

There was the expected murmur at “his guards”, but I didn’t give them the chance to argue. I simply continued issuing orders.

“The Arami and his people will be given the option to stay on the fourth floor as any other dignitary would be granted, or we will commandeer any ground lodgings required. Any family put out of their homes will be given the suites the Arami would have used. I want an honest assessment of who is best suited to working alongside the serpiente guard to keep the peace. Anyone who feels unable to perform these duties is to be given a two week paid leave if they do so now. Anyone who causes trouble after the fact will be exiled, no exceptions. I will not have this go badly because of failings on our end.”

I was met with stunned silence, which wasn’t really that unexpected. What did surprise me was Raymond’s voice, breaking the silence with a shockingly wise suggestion.

“I would have those selected vetted with the serpiente themselves, my lady. They will be able to feel any negative reaction to their presence. Give them a chance to decline the position and take the leave then as well, once they truly know their own hearts.”

I gave what I hoped was a magnanimous nod, giving myself a moment to gather my composure again before answering.

“An excellent suggestion. Captain Andreios and [rank?] Raymond will escort a small band to meet with the serpiente as they approach the Keep. Gather your best people, generals, and assemble them in receiving arounds at the top of the hour. Dismissed.”

I turned and left on knees that did not shake, much to my surprise. I made it all the way to the fourth floor before my insides turned to jelly.

The Ties That Bind Tag list: @thehellinsideyourhead @therecouldbecolorsandlove @adventuresofacreesty @writing-with-melon @rainydaydarling @faithfire

Raev’s Gen Tag List (should I tag you guys in this? It IS a thing I wrote. I’m gonna say yes unless you guys are like “no of course not we’re sick of hearing about your stupid fic for a twenty year old book XD)

No one has complained yet so yall gonna keep getting tagged :P

List is currently: @lordkingsmith @writinglyra @drbibliophile @mperialscribe @adie-dee @adie-dee @lexiklecksi @writinginslowmotion @raenawrites @apollon-arium @anika-writes @faithfire

#raev does fic #the ties that bind fic #hawksong fic #kiesh'ra fic #the kiesha'ra #hawksong #danica shardae #zane cobriana #andreios #my writing

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panharmonium · 4 years ago

Note

I'm curious if you have any headcanon/any fic plans or just ideas about how Hunith learnt Will knew about Merlin's magic. Sorry if you already talked about it and has slipped out of my attention!

Oh my gosh, any message that asks me about Will or Hunith or Ealdor in any fashion makes me so happy; thank you!

I'll avoid drawing up an outline for an exact scenario, only because I am always writing more fic about Merlin’s pre-Camelot life and if I end up deciding to actually do this in a fic I’ll be mad at myself for already typing it all out in meta XD I will, however, talk about some general thoughts, because I do have solid opinions about certain aspects of this whole thing (all my own, obviously; folks are free to imagine this in different ways - these are just my own personal inferences from the canon we’re given).

Putting this under a cut because it got long - you always write me such detailed notes that I wanted to be thorough! <3

So! Here are some of my thoughts about how Hunith learnt that Will knew about Merlin’s magic.

i. it was not careless.

In my opinion, Will and Merlin, by the age where we meet them in canon, are not out there goofing around with Merlin’s magic in risky ways. It doesn’t make sense for Merlin, who is old enough to understand the dangers to his own life and who is also desperately committed to making sure his mother never finds out that Will is in the know (because Merlin knows it won’t go well), and it definitely doesn’t make sense for Will, who, despite his fanon reputation for mischief, is...not actually shown to be like that in canon.

I talked before in my big meta dump about Will that I very much do not read the “he’s always been a troublemaker” line to be indicative of the “pranks and shenanigans” theme that I tend to see in a lot of fic. The “troublemaker” line, in context, is not referring to Will causing mischief; it’s about Will’s inability to shut his mouth and stop stirring the pot, in the sense of him yelling about stuff that nobody else wants to think about; it’s about him not being able to put his head down and go with the flow. It’s immediately followed by the line “they’re used to ignoring him,” and what we’re being told here is that Will is the cousin who can’t stop himself from getting political at the holiday dinner table even when the rest of the family is begging him to let them have one single meal in peace. He cannot let things go, and the rest of his neighbors are completely sick of it (see: Hunith’s ZERO patience with Will when he challenges Arthur in front of the community).

Canon Will, in contrast to some fanon interpretations, is actually a very intense, guarded person? He’s suspicious and pragmatic and risk-averse. And I just think it’s important to remember that Will, in his current situation, does not have a lot of time to be messing around. He was orphaned and left to run a whole homestead as a child. That’s like...he’s doing the work of an entire family. Life in Ealdor already leaves little room to slack off, and Will is completely overburdened - somebody in his situation would be desperately busy, almost all of the time, and always on the verge of a potential disaster, if he fell behind on anything.

So I just don’t read him as someone who is out doing silly things with Merlin in a way that got them discovered by Hunith. Like - Merlin isn’t careless enough to be goofing off in his own house, for example, and Will isn’t a character who’s daring Merlin to do foolish things for the fun of it. Merlin is comfortable using his magic around Will, definitely, and we know he’s had at least one mishap in the past (the tree), but at this point in their lives, I don’t see either of them as frivolous or clueless enough to use magic in a way that could get them caught by anyone, or for the purpose of risky/trivial games.

ii. merlin was the one who let it slip

I personally think the lead-up to Hunith discovering Will’s involvement was preceded by two things:

an increase in external stressors (related to the political situation between Camelot and Cenred’s kingdom), making Merlin’s position in Ealdor progressively more precarious/dangerous

Merlin becoming increasingly frustrated, rebellious, and unwilling to hide himself the way his mother wanted him to

The first point is something that I've incorporated into fic, so I think @blueclaw7 is already familiar with it :) But essentially, when I was collecting info on Ealdor and Cenred's kingdom prior to a previous fic-writing endeavour, there were a few things that led me to wonder just what sort of trouble was brewing in that corner of the world, prior to Merlin's departure:

We know that Cenred makes agreements with slave traders, allowing them to work certain areas of his land without interference (see: Cenred's discussion with Morgause about Jarl in 3.12 - “He's been working our western border for months...We have an understanding.”) Cenred likely would not allow this unless it benefited him in some way, so I think we can safely assume that he is receiving some sort of kickback from allowing slavers to operate in his kingdom, either in the form of financial compensation or perhaps by having people like Jarl on-call in case Cenred himself needs specific targets rounded up.

We also know that sometime prior to 1.10, Cenred's kingdom and Camelot signed some sort of peace treaty, which according to Uther was “years in the making.” We're not told how long the two kingdoms had been enemies before that, but my personal interpretation is that they have been at odds for a long time, because the peace treaty doesn’t appear to be very successful - by 2.12, Uther says, “Our treaty with Cenred no longer holds. We are at war,” despite the fact that we actually haven't even met Cenred in the show yet and he hasn't attacked Camelot or anything (he doesn't agree to do that until Season 3, when Uther is incapacitated and the kingdom is weak). Uther also later refers to Cenred as Camelot’s “sworn enemy.” So the treaty just appears to have been a temporary, shaky peace between kingdoms that are frequently in conflict, the terms of which we are not privy to.

We know that Uther “offers a handsome reward for anyone with magic” (2.09, when the bounty hunter shows up with Freya), and we know that normal people will turn others over to bounty hunters for their own benefit (“How did he find you?” / “You can't always trust people.”)

We know that Aredian (the witchfinder) has been operating “in foreign lands” (aka, not Camelot).

So, the question I asked myself was this: why would Cenred and Uther even agree to a peace treaty in the first place, when their kingdoms are clearly constantly at odds with one another? And looking at the other tidbits of information above, the framework I constructed for myself was that I personally think part of the aforementioned treaty involves Cenred turning people with magic over to Uther - and perhaps allowing Uther's agents over the border to do their own hunting - in exchange for some kind of compensation (probably financial). We know Cenred is greedy (he's aiming to conquer Camelot even though he is, per his own words, “rich and powerful already”), and we know he canonically has the means to give Uther what he wants (agreements with slave traders working within his borders). And given that the treaty appears to have been a fairly recent development in 1.10, my personal read is that this treaty was signed sometime before Merlin left Ealdor, and that it prompted an uptick in dangerous activity that frightened Merlin's mother and made her more willing to send him away. Bounty hunters nabbing people on the road, slave traders being given the freedom to operate without interference, rumors of single agents like the Witchfinder roaming the countryside - all of this would lead to the far more immediate concern of “what happens if somebody in Ealdor thinks Merlin might be magic and decides to make a quick shilling by turning him in????”

I think that is Hunith's biggest concern. Ealdor is poor. And Merlin himself says his departure was prompted by not being able to trust the people around him. When Freya tells him, “you can't always trust people,” he replies, “I know. That's why I left home.” And if there were suddenly a higher demand for people with magic, due to Cenred and Uther's arrangement, then there would be more incentive for regular people to look for a way they could turn it to their advantage, especially if they've already been conditioned to see magic as an evil/dangerous thing.

I think this leads to Hunith being even more cautious, and putting even tighter restrictions on Merlin re: where he can go and when he can be out and who he can go wandering around with, and even on using magic for little things at home where no one can see. And the problem with this is that Merlin won't tolerate it anymore, not the way he did when he was younger. Not because he doesn't want to listen to her or because he doesn't understand that she's trying to help him, but because he just can't. He can't. It's killing him. He tells Gaius in 1.01, “if I can't use magic, I might as well die,” and that’s not just him being dramatic; he really feels that way. He doesn’t just have magic, he is magic. He can't suppress it that way, without feeling like he's killing himself.

So, to bring us back around to the point of this segment - I think what ends up happening is that Merlin starts pushing back on Hunith’s restrictions, not so he can goof around and do stupid things, but so he can live his life in a way that doesn't make him feel like he's suffocating, so he can just be, without feeling like his entire existence is a crime. I think the increased pressure drives him more and more frequently to Will, the only person around whom Merlin can exist as a complete person, and I think he becomes increasingly resistant to his mother's directives, and I think his mother gets more and more frustrated with him, because she sees it as him needlessly risking his life, but Merlin is tired of hearing that he can't trust anybody, because he CAN trust somebody; he has somebody to trust right now and he’s had them for ages, and he doesn't think things have to be so dire all the time, if his mother would just see that, but she won't -

And then, when his frustration reaches a boiling point, Merlin accidentally spills the beans.

I don't think Hunith walks in on Merlin doing magic in front of Will, personally. I think Merlin slips up and tells her, in the course of their increasingly frequent, tense conflicts between “you can't trust ANYBODY/things are too dangerous” and ��i CAN trust somebody/i can’t live like this anymore.”

I think he lets it slip in an argument, as a frustrated justification for “it doesn't have to be like this all the time; things could be better; will's known about it for X years and nothing bad has ever happened to me.”

And then, of course, it goes very, very badly.

Which brings us to Point #3 -

iii. it was a Disaster.

What I mean by this is that Hunith discovering that Will knew about Merlin’s magic was not a chill situation. It did not go over well, and it created an interpersonal crisis between the three of them that persists all the way into 1.10.

We’ve already heard canon confirmation of this - “when she found out you knew, she was SO angry” - and it’s obvious that this conflict was never resolved. I’ve already talked in another post about Hunith’s weird disinterest in/disapproval of Will in favor of Arthur (even after Will’s death!), and Will clearly isn’t feeling very generous with her in 1.10, either - they only interact once, when Hunith snaps at Will to “keep quiet” after he challenges Arthur in front of the village, and after that, they never talk again. They never go anywhere near each other, in fact.

I know fandom likes to headcanon Hunith as the ultimate mom who is super generous with everyone and would instantly adopt all of Merlin’s friends out of an overabundance of motherly love, but 1.10 tells a very different story about her relationship with Will, and it’s clearly not a completely new issue. Merlin knew his mother wouldn’t react well to finding out that he’d shared his secret with Will. It’s why he lied in the first place. Whatever the relationship between the three of them was before the reveal, Merlin knew that a history of positive interactions wouldn’t make a difference if the truth came out. His mother would never be okay with Will knowing.

And he was right! Because Hunith finding out the truth fractures that relationship. It’s what finally prompts Hunith to send Merlin away. And that, of course, makes things worse, because a) Will never did anything to deserve that reaction, and b) as I’ve talked about in another post, Merlin disappears without even telling Will he’s leaving. He just vanishes. And Will, blindsided, is left in Ealdor with Hunith, who was party to that decision, and he is so...I don’t even know how to describe how full of grief and rage I would be, if I were in his situation. Merlin was the only good thing in Will’s life.

I don’t think Will wants to be anywhere near Hunith, after that. I think he avoids her like the plague. I think the only reason Will even knows anything about where Merlin is or what he’s doing is because Hunith is careful to chat about it with other people in casual conversation, while Will is within earshot (hence why Will later says, “I hear you’re skivvying for some prince”). And I think Hunith is probably making a misguided attempt to be kind, by doing that - giving Will a way to stay sort of updated even though they’re not speaking to each other - but I also don’t think her efforts are effective, at all, because the only thing her secondhand updates do for Will is hammer home the fact that Merlin is writing to Hunith instead of him, that Merlin hasn’t directed Hunith to relay Will any message, that Merlin really did just leave without saying goodbye and apparently has no intention of contacting Will again. And Will doesn’t know why Merlin did that, or what he did to make Merlin not want him anymore, but because Will is who he is, he ends up feeling like Merlin must have never cared about him that much in the first place, and it was just that Will misread the whole relationship; he got his hopes up and let his guard down and believed that somebody cared for him, and he should have known better, because everybody ALWAYS leaves him, and he was stupid to think this time would be different. And he is so angry at himself, but he is also devastated, and impossibly lonely, because he has nobody in his life, and he has to just sit and simmer in his own pain, because Merlin is gone, and Will would rather crawl over a bed of hot coals than go anywhere near Hunith right now.

And I honestly don’t blame Will for avoiding her. It’s like...I hate to put this on Hunith, because I do appreciate her in other areas, but there’s just no getting around this: the way she views and deals with Will is markedly different from the way she treats Merlin’s Camelot friends, even though she barely knows them, and despite the fact that she’s perfectly aware that Arthur hates sorcery. She’s happy to ignore Merlin’s friendship with Will all throughout 1.10, even though that’s the relationship that is in the most desperate need of attention, and instead she chooses to focus on/encourage/praise Merlin’s relationships with people who hate the thing that makes him who he is. And that is just so...bizarre to me, and I think...I really believe there is a part of Hunith that blames Will for everything that happened, even if it’s subconscious. Like - I think there’s a part of her that believes that if Will hadn’t found out about the magic, Merlin wouldn’t have been “in danger,” and she wouldn’t have been put in the difficult position of sending Merlin away. I’m not sure if she truly believed Will was going to sell Merlin to a bounty hunter when he got desperate enough for money (see above re: Will’s situation being a precarious one, survival-wise), or if it was more her fear that Merlin would be too trusting now that one person had accepted him (what if Merlin went and told someone else, because it worked out the first time??? What if he let this thing with Will lull him into a false sense of security?) But whatever her reasons, she still ends up pushing Will away. She never treats him with the same kind of solicitous interest that she extends to Merlin’s new companions, and I do think it all comes back to that moment when she found out that he knew.

It’s hardly rational, given what we know about how dedicated Will actually is to protecting Merlin’s secret. And I don’t think Hunith is like...actively taking it out on him. But the attitude is still present, as an undercurrent, and I have to be honest about this: the feeling I get from Hunith in 1.10 (and the vibe that I imagine Will was getting from her while Merlin was gone) is that she thinks Merlin is much better off now that he’s moved on from Ealdor, and that leaving Will behind was ultimately best for everyone, and that Will needs to just get over it and understand that he’s not a part of Merlin’s life anymore, so everyone can be happy that Merlin has met such fantastic, fascinating new friends.

That’s what I hear her saying, when I see the way she completely ignores him while simultaneously loving on the Camelot crew. That’s what Will hears, too, even if she doesn’t say it out loud.

And honestly, my heart breaks for him. He deserved more than that.

(tangentially, but - I think it bears mentioning, given certain fic trends I have seen, that Merlin himself does not share this viewpoint. Merlin has never and will never consider his new friends to be a “step up” from Will, and he has never and will never consider Will to be a “past” or less immediate part of his life. Even after Will is dead, Merlin refuses to tolerate even the barest suggestion of this from anybody - when Arthur tries to say that Will “was a close friend,” Merlin corrects him, saying “He still is.” Will is just as relevant and meaningful to Merlin in Camelot as he was when Merlin was still at home, and the fact that Hunith doesn’t assign Will as much importance anymore does not in any way correspond to Merlin’s own feelings on the subject.)

So - the point of all this is just to say that Hunith finding out about Will isn’t an event that ends with all of them coming together and collectively deciding to send Merlin to Camelot while Will and Hunith promise to look after each other while Merlin is away. Whatever relationship the three of them had before this happened, it’s broken after Hunith learns the truth. Hunith and Will are completely done with each other, after Merlin leaves. Merlin and Will are obviously plunged into an incredibly messy situation, thanks to Merlin vanishing without a word. And even Merlin and his mother have tension - Merlin references the big blow-up to Will in 1.10, but there’s also a moment in episode 1.01, too, that is VERY subtle but also very telling, when Gaius says “your mother asked me to look after you.” Merlin’s response is just, “Yes,” but the way he delivers it - he looks away, and his mouth tenses up, and there’s this little hesitation and then the tone is almost - rueful, like there’s more he’d like to say but he refrains. It’s like a “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all” vibe. And the reason for that is because the circumstances under which his mother asked Gaius to look after him were a mess. Merlin tells us straight-up in 1.10 that he didn’t want to leave home. The entire thing was a disaster.

iv. the reason hunith was “so angry” is because will did not find out about merlin's magic by accident

I think I've talked about this briefly before, but here it is in more detail: I am firmly convinced that Merlin told Will about his magic, as opposed to Will finding out accidentally.

It's not something we can actually know in a canon sense, obviously. And I know the “Will almost has an accident and Merlin uses magic to help him” motif is more common in fic. But the reason I’m so set on this is because of how Merlin describes Hunith's reaction to finding out that Will knew.

“When she found out you knew - she was so angry.” The way Merlin says that - he shakes his head, almost in awe, like it was something almost frightening to behold - the way he puts an emphasis on “so angry” - to me, this has always been an indication that Merlin voluntarily disclosed his magic to Will. We know enough about Hunith to be familiar with how gentle and calm she is, and how much she loves Merlin, and how kind and understanding she is with him. I think if she learned that Will had found out about Merlin's magic in an accidental way - ie, in a way Merlin could not have reasonably prevented - then even though she would still have wished that Merlin had told her sooner, she wouldn't have reacted in a way that made Merlin reflect on it like she was scary-angry. I think she would have understood, if he explained that he'd been forced into a situation to use his magic to help someone or prevent a bad accident from happening.

However - if Merlin had TOLD Will about his magic, voluntarily, when he didn't have to, just because he felt like it, despite all of Hunith's warnings and all of her efforts to keep Merlin safe - that, I think, is something that would have prompted the kind of anger Merlin references.

To Hunith, that would be unconscionably reckless. After all she's done to keep Merlin alive, after spending every day of her life sick and sleepless with worry - to have Merlin so easily throw her work away like that, in blatant defiance of every cautionary thing she's ever told him - it's a slap in the face. Plus, Merlin is now in more danger (she thinks) which just amplifies her fear, and thus her fury.

But what she doesn’t understand is that Merlin didn't do it to hurt her. He didn't do it because he doesn't appreciate how hard she works to keep him safe. He did it because he had to. There came a moment, at some point in the past, where he became so lonely and so desperate to be seen that he made a choice, took a risk, and put his life in someone else's hands.

And he was rewarded for that choice! Merlin never, ever would have made it in Ealdor without Will’s honest companionship. A Merlin who did not have a single friend to know and love him for those first two decades would have been utterly unrecognizable by the time he arrived in Camelot - if he even survived long enough to get there.

But Hunith doesn't understand the depth of Merlin's desperation. She thinks that him telling Will was a foolish, uncalled-for risk, when for Merlin it was a lifesaving necessity.

So, I think that this is part of what makes Hunith react so badly. And I also think the severity of her reaction (and the ultimate tragic outcome that follows in 1.10) is something that lingers in Merlin’s mind for a long time, because he never willingly discloses his secret to anyone again. Gaius and Lancelot find out by accident. Freya, Gilli, and Daegal find out by necessity, because Merlin needs to leverage his magic in one way or another in order to save their lives. Even Arthur is a forced confession, demanded by desperate circumstances.

Merlin doesn't choose to reveal himself to those people. It's something that's pushed onto him. Will is a singular instance. Merlin has only voluntarily shared his secret with one person - just because he wanted to, not because he was forced to, just because he trusted them, just because he wanted that connection so badly.

And it leads to such painful consequences, in the end, that he never does it again.

in conclusion:

So, to summarize, my foundational thoughts on how this went down can basically be boiled down to those four things: it wasn't the result of carelessness, Merlin was the one who let it slip, it was a huge disaster with long-lasting consequences, and part of the reason why it went so badly is because Hunith found out that Merlin had voluntarily told Will about his magic, as opposed to Will finding out accidentally.

But, as always, those are just my own personal thoughts about it, and I am still 100% happy to read about all sorts of differing envisionings of this scenario - nothing is confirmed in canon, obviously, so for people who imagine this event differently, have at it! The world can always use a little more of Merlin’s pre-canon life, if you ask me. :D

#the once and future slowburn #meta #bbc merlin gen #no kings no masters #replies #@blueclaw7 - thank you for asking!#i really loved writing this up!#<333

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snkpolls · 4 years ago

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SnK Episode 60 Poll Results (for Anime Only Watchers)

The poll closed with 159 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Manga Readers’ poll, click here.

Anime only watchers, beware of spoilers if you venture over to the manga readers’ poll results.

RATE THE EPISODE 130 Responses

And we’re back! An explosive premiere brings the series back. The vast majority seemed to enjoy the episode, with only 2.3% of folks giving it a score below a 3.

I thought some of the directing in the action scenes was odd and the music didn’t feel as well integrated/utilized as in past seasons.

If this season is consistently as good as this first episode, AOT will indeed end as a perfect masterpiece

ARE YOU HAPPY ABOUT THE CHANGE FROM WIT STUDIO TO MAPPA? 127 Responses

The Studio change from WIT Studio to MAPPA was a subject of much scrutiny and debate before the season’s release. With almost 61% showing some form of enthusiasm about a new studio’s take on the series. The opinion is not uniform, of course, with just over 18% stating their preference for WIT studio. Slightly less (17.3%) can’t give an answer yet and the rest don’t seem to care at all.

I wished MAPPA would make the latter episodes a little more vibrant and lessen the blur

mappa as some of my favorite shows (banana fish, yuri on ice, etc) so it was kinda cool to see they picked up AOT szn 4 ! i’m excitedly waiting to watch the next episode, (and with my ‘watch partner’ aka tumblr friend who discusses with me as we watch LOL).

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE CGI TITANS? 127 Responses

If there’s one thing that’s rather controversial about the series’ animation adaptation, then it’s certainly the use of CGI (particularly when animating Titans). The opinion of the fanbase seems to be rather positive, nonetheless. 72.4% of responders gave the CGI some praise (be it more open or more reserved), while 18.2% were more negative about the use of CGI. At the bottom was 9.4% who stated that they preferred WIT’s style of CGI to the one utilized in the episode.

cgi wasn't bad but I was disappointed that it wasn't the 2d animation from the trailer

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE NEW OPENING? 128 Responses

When it came to the season’s opening, there was a positive response, with more than 72% expressing a favorable opinion. 21.1% didn’t seem to care for it and about 6% stated that they thoroughly disliked it.

OP is WAY too overrated, nowhere near as good as the original, too much glorification of the kind of nationalism that led to Nazi germany's rise to power

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE NEW ENDING? 130 Responses

The new ending received very similar scores, with a similar figure of more than 72% expressing a positive view of the ending and a little over a quarter not caring for it. The proportion disliking it was much lower however, with only 2.3% of folks expressing those thoughts.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE 4 YEAR TIME SKIP? 126 Responses

One of the grandest developments that came about in this episode is the fact that a 4 year time skip has occurred since the defeat of the Warriors in Shiganshina. Although there is a sizable minority expressing negative feelings (13.5%), the definitive majority is coming in with enthusiasm (70.6%). The rest are still thinking this change over.

wtf is going on? Who are these new people? Why are we supposed to care about them if they're from Marley? Where are the main characters? Yeah, I suppose Reiner and Zeke technically count as MCs, but there is an appalling lack of 104th characters that needs to be fixed asap!

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE SETTING CHANGE? 125 Responses

In a similar vein, a remarkable new development is a change of setting. The majority (almost 61%) see it in a positive light, while 16% seem to dislike it. Just over 19% aren’t certain yet.

After what Reiner and co. did, I am not at all interested in their side of the story and just want Eren and co. to completely decimate these people

Fun to meet new characters but I'm eager to know whats going on with the characters we know

It feels a little disorienting but it's a logical progression of the story

Strange

Wouldnt mind the change of setting if we at least had it from the 104th's perspective

I wasn’t expecting it to be so focused on new characters, and I was disappointed at first but I’m indifferent now.

Not liking the new perspective. At least for this new batch of kids. If Reiner and Zeke are going to be a major focus for a while, wouldn't a short series of flashbacks for their pasta work better than a completely new spin-off from the main story?

WHICH NEW CHARACTER IS YOUR FAVORITE SO FAR? 125 Responses

As this episode introduced a lot of new characters, we got a colorful pie chart for this one. The plurality of responses (40%) chose the kind-hearted Falco, while 28% went with passionate Gabi. 14.4% chose the caring Colt and 13.6% went with the cool Jaw Titan holder. The last couple of responses picked out the stoic General Magath and the quiet Zofia. Poor Udo didn’t get a single vote!

I loved it. I love the new art style, my favorite scene was Gabi destroying the train, she's awesome. I really love Falco as well and Colt. Galliard's titan design is sick

I literally don't give a shit about these new kids, I don't care about their story, just bring back EMA and the 104th already!

WHO DO YOU THINK WILL INHERIT THE ARMORED TITAN? 125 Responses

Another colorful pie chart! An almost even split for the (possible) future inheritor of the Armored Titan. 37.6% believe Falco will take it, while 27.2% went with Gabi. 33.6% do not see any of the cadets inheriting Reiner’s titan and the last couple of votes went ahead to Zofia instead.

WHO HAD THE BETTER GLOW UP? 127 Responses

When drawing comparison to Reiner and Zeke’s looks in the previous season, there was a clear favorite among the responses - Reiner, with 74%. Zeke had the preference of 15% and those who didn’t feel like either of them “went through a glow up” took 11%.

can we acknowledge how good zeke, reiner, and [redacted] looked 😌🥰

REINER PLEASE FUCK ME

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE JAW TITAN? 126 Responses

New season, new setting, new titan! The vast majority of viewers seem hyped about the Jaw Titan and find its design really cool. 15.9% aren’t as thrilled about it, and 9.5% haven’t decided yet. Most of the write-in comments implied a connection with the Jaw Titan. But for the purpose of avoiding spoiling those who haven’t drawn the same conclusion, we won’t be publishing them. Just know we see you. ;)

i was lowkey scared lmao

CART TITAN - BETTER WITH ARMOR OR WITHOUT? 127 Responses

We are reunited with the eerie Cart Titan from S3, but this time flexing cool armor and machine guns on its back! The overwhelming majority of respondents prefer it better tricked out in its armor, over a small minority who appreciate its natural creepiness more.

MOST OF THE EPISODE FOCUSES ON GABI. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT HER? 124 Responses

Gabi appears to be a point of controversy among anime viewers already, with 38.7% viewing her favorably, 37.9% viewing her less favorably, and 16.9% not sure how to feel about her yet. Some comments feel she is similar to Eren in some ways, while others found her annoying. And yes, she did break international law. :P

Eren, but smol and female xD

I hate her already

I think she’s awesome

She's like Eren was

she passionately creepy but i like her lol

shes annoying

Gabi is SO annoying istfg really hope Falco gets more focus than Gabi, he seems nicer and more relatable

FALCO MENTIONED SOMETHING ABOUT “FLYING AROUND WITH A SWORD” AND “ATTACKING TITANS.” WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THAT? 126 Responses

Overall, no one seems to know what’s going on, though many are theorizing that this is related to the paths, titan powers/memory transfer, or Eren somehow. What could this mean for the future of Falco’s character?

Dig at anime viewers returning to S4

He saw the memories of a survey corps member

I have a couple theories, regarding the memories that intelligent Titans share back and forth

maybe he had one of those flashback/forward things that erens dad had

WHO DO YOU THINK WAS BUYING THE NEWSPAPER AT THE END? 126 Responses

Nearly 90% of respondents are certain that this mystery character is someone we know, while just a small handful of people believe it’s someone new, and about the same amount not ready to make a call one way or the other yet. Some write-ins on the poll had guessed specifically who the character may be already. But we won’t spoil you just yet. 👀

The end credits guy is definitely someone we know, but I highly doubt it's Eren

The sharp-looking dude at the end just HAS to be someone we know on Paradis, there's no way they'd just throw us in to this new cast of nobodies without some connection to the main characters

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF ELDIANS BEING USED AS WAR FODDER? 126 Responses

The treatment of Eldians on the mainland is something that the majority of respondents see as detestable, with 87.3% finding the use of them as war fodder to be downright cruel. A smaller amount of people either felt it was a necessary evil, or didn’t feel strongly about it one way or the other.

Literally waiting for the 104th to show up and fuck shit up for these inhumane monsters

That's what happens in the real world. The persecuted minority gets used as war fodder.

i d k 👀

DO YOU THINK IT’S POSSIBLE FOR RELATIONS BETWEEN ELDIANS AND MARLEYANS TO IMPROVE? 123 Responses

Colorful opinions mean more colorful pie charts! Most viewers feel that there is no way for the relations between Eldians and Marleyans to improve (30.1%) or that relations will never improve, with the exception of a rare few who are sympathetic to Eldians (22.8%). A smaller amount (totalling 32.5%) feel that it’s possible for things to improve whether it be due to a change in Marleyan leadership or due to the two sides having to come together for the greater good. 14.6% of respondents stand in the middle ground, unsure of whether relations can improve or not.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

Honestly at first it was very confusing but overall I enjoyed it

So when do we get to see the 104th again?

I figured there would be more modern technology involved in the story, but I'm not a fan at all of the direction it's going so far. Makes me worried the ultimate basement reveal was the peak of AoT's greatness.

it was action filled!!! although i was sad so see that there are 16 episodes n not like 24(i think), it means every episode is gonna deliver!!! off to a great start, op and ed are amazing. renier had a nice glow up and JEAN WAS THAT U AT THE END?? yessir!!! beast titan looked ugly asf but when was he not ugly?? LOL

Idk wtf that opening was but I kinda like the ending. Falco seems like a good kid. I just REALLY hope he doesn't end up doing anything to hurt the protagonists (I fully expect Gabi to, she's already a violent ax-crazy kid)

just give me some Armin

WHERE. IS. EREN?

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 124 Responses

Thanks again everyone for participating in the poll! We look forward to seeing your responses for next week’s episode!

#snk poll #snk polls #snk spoilers #snk s4 #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #snk #aot

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darkgunslinger · 5 years ago

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Adamantine Shield short (from Saving Zim)

Just a little taste @luckyrabbit1927 of what I promised - taken from a section of deleted chapter way waaaay back - of more Zim/Prof.M scenes. Why am I always so shy to post these? XD

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He held his hands out. He wasn’t sure what else to do.

This wasn’t exactly in his repertoire of experiences.

Membrane had only turned away to grab some printed schematics and brood over them a moment, and there hadn’t been a single sound to draw his attention.

Perhaps Zim had seen an opportunity, or imagined one, and before he’d realized how erroneous it was, he’d crashed to the floor – his departure from the bed a regretful fall – and the thin line of IV tubing had crisscrossed over one arm and around his foot. The telemetry leads, having been stretched unceremoniously, pinged off one by one, causing the ECG to protest with alarms.

Zim struggled, tightening the tubing, and furthering his panic. Membrane, seeing the situation develop, paused for just a millisecond before approaching, and when he did, the creature’s panic intensified. In just one moment Zim had become a wild, terrified animal.

“Everything’s all right. You’ve got yourself tangled up.” But that one extra step seemed to trigger an even stronger reaction.

Zim rolled onto his side, unable to steer himself vertically, the twisted tubes snagging against his arm and ankle. “Stay! Stay a-away!”

The professor watched the Irken’s tiring struggles. He acted as though he was in a snare.

What signals remained from the Irken’s vitals escalated into the dangerous zone. Warnings on the professor’s wristplate flared in response.

He didn’t understand why Zim was so terrified.

“I need to free you little one, if you just let me approach.” He took another step and stopped. Zim’s claws blindly jerked around to slash at the tubing. Goaded by the fear the tubes inspired, his aim was appalling. Long scratches of deeper green began to appear from slit skin. Unable to breathe above the barbs of panic, Zim tried to prop his right arm beneath him, but his hand slid, shiny with blood, and he went back down again.

The professor could not endure it. He closed the gap between them and was not dissuaded when Zim spent all of his breath to release a bone-chilling scream.

“There there now, I’m freeing you. It’s all right, hush, hush.” Quickly he loosened the tubing around his shivery leg and arm in the hopes that this would dissolve the Irken’s undue terror. His vitals were in the red, his blood pressure falling fast despite the aggressive speed of his heart rate.

He held his littleness to his chest, feeling every shake and shudder bully the frailness that remained. “Let’s do our breathing exercises, hmm? I think now is a good time as any. You remember what to do? Breathe in, deeply now, and feel how my chest moves. Hold it in a moment, and then let it out.”

He exaggerated his chest movements so that Zim would feel them in turn. His tiny body was ice cold, skin clammy with sick-sweat. Though his eyelids were open partway, the pink pupils were extremely dilated. Barely visible nostrils flared somewhat, but it seemed unlikely he’d even ‘switch on’ enough to remember to breathe.

“Everything’s okay.” The professor said, keeping the cadence of his voice soft and steady.

Zim’s claws clutched insensibly on his arm as if it were a ledge he meant to cling to. His eyes slowly began to focus, the deep magenta almost warming up. As much as the professor saw him coming back to himself, he did not rush or hurry him.

When he seemed better able to comprehend the situation, he looked about him, blinking. He watched the little creature’s antenna unfurl until it gradually straightened. For much of his panic, the one antenna had dangled from his head like a velvet shoelace.

Those large eyes, shimmery with undisclosed emotions, blinked again, and his pink pupils coasted around as if he was looking for a target: something that had triggered the antagonism. The only ghoul was the fear, shelved deeply inside. It was the same adulterated fear most animals showed when faced with something beyond their control and comparative safety.

The professor had once tried to treat a deer he’d encountered on the road late one June summer’s day when Dib had been attending school. It had clearly been hit by a car or truck, and had been left for dead. Its hind quarters had taken the main brunt of the collision, and its back legs were broken. Prof. Membrane coaxed it into the backseat of his car where it bleated and struggled. He wasn’t sure why he’d chosen to take responsibility for it. He supposed it was simply because he couldn’t just drive off and leave it there. He’d always taken the mantle of the world’s problems as his own, knowing he’d been gifted with foresight and intellect. What was the point of the gift if he didn’t apply it?

But alas, the deer did not survive. Like Zim’s wild nature, fear itself seemed to devour its mind along with its vestiges of life, and before he’d even managed to haul it onto a table with the help of his two co-workers, it had died, not of its injuries, but of terror.

It was why he had curtly let Zim go without argument after the ‘baloney’ incident. Quite recovered and eager to move on, Zim had hurried away without much afterthought or conversation, as if lingering any longer might trigger some trap or plot beset by the wiles of man. He had wanted Zim to choose his next step, but sadly, he had intervened when that next step was never chosen.

At least, unlike the deer, Zim could understand human language. He would watch the professor’s expressions, as if trying to guess the deeper intentions beneath the words.

One day he hoped Zim would come to trust him.

“It’s okay now. Nothing’s here to harm you.”

Claws ran frantically along the brittle bones of his legs and arms, as if he half believed the tubing to still be there. A caged beast, used to being bound, may have had similar reactions.

His troubled eyes tirelessly checking and rechecking everything, Zim assertively pushed himself from the man’s gentle hold and stood precariously on stick-like legs, his left leg failing to bend as if the joints had locked up.

“You need a break from this room, don’t you?” He knelt close and took his hand before the Irken had a chance to get dizzy and topple over. Without any telemetry leads, his vitals were now closed to him. He had to now rely on Zim’s body language alone. “You are not trapped here, little one.” He wanted to affirm, in case that was what was on the Irken’s mind, and why wouldn’t it be? He was largely under their control; it had to be this way in order to keep him on the road to recovery. Even so, being mostly confined to one room allowed one’s imagination to fill in the blanks.

Membrane wondered if all members of Zim’s race were this highly strung, and prone to stress.

The Irken’s worried eyes swept upwards to look at him, again trying to determine the lies or the truths.

He had not given the former soldier his prognosis yet. He’d been holding back on it, fearful that Zim may take it very hard, or shelve it, like he did with things he’d rather ignore. Dib himself was still trying come to terms with it. Once he was onboard, the professor would inform the patient as gently as he possibly could. But not telling him was making Zim wary. He knew his continual existence here, in one corner of the lab, weak and disseminated, spread wide his suspicions. It was very likely that Zim already knew. But admitting it was something else entirely and therein lay the problem.

The Irken’s continued quiet was abnormal in every sense. When he’d sat on a chair years before, recovering from his sausage deformation, he had posed every question, yelled every suspicion, and demanded and shook until he was able to work his brain and limbs enough to flee. Even then, he’d been much more vivid and brighter a character. This creature before him was full of fear, lungs lugging heavily through his chest wall, greyer skin slathered in sweat, eyes rimmed and wide, limbs and hands shaking constantly.

“Recuperation is vital. But! I can take you wherever you’d like to go. I’m here to look after you. It’s my sworn oath.” He looked for signs of recognition, of understanding.

The Irken took a loud swallow, his eyes dull with drugs and exhaustion. He stood there, head bowed, looking brittle and ancient. Every night spent here seemed to enlarge those wrinkles under his eyes. His skin wasn’t as grey as it had been since his circulation had improved, but the professor couldn’t seem able to get the skin as green as it used to be. What vital ingredient was missing? What did the poorly thing lack?

Maybe it wasn’t medicine at all.

Maybe it was just care and warmth that the little bug needed.

“Let me show you my favourite room.” He said, squeezing gently on Zim’s arm. “No tubes. No wires. How about it?” The Elite’s eyes, hazy and unfocused, as if he was unfastening himself from the world a little at a time, started to shimmer, and the tension inside softened beneath his touch. “Let’s lift you up.”

He felt those bird bones as he picked him up, and then he sat him on the crook of his arm.

The invention room was tidy and spacious, with tables assembled down one side. A great ponderous machine stood at the back on a round podium beside several test dummies. The machine was oval in shape, with gadgets bristling down its sides like hedgehog spines. “I call it the Adamantine Shield.” He said proudly when he watched Zim turn his head towards it. He was clued up on technology and the intelligence behind it. He would have made a very good co-worker. “It’s just the prototype at the moment. It’s designed to withstand blasts from an outside energy source, be they physical projectiles or energy pulses. Let me demonstrate!”

Like a kid in a toyshop, he put Zim down on one of the chairs and approached the monolithic object. He tapped on a button, and it deposited a capsule. The capsule opened, revealing a pulsing blue strap. He extended it in his hands, revealing a thin metallic strip. This strip he placed along a wooden dummy’s shoulder. “It adheres to anything. Fabric. Skin. Armour. It automatically configures the body of whoever is wearing it, and once activated, it envelops them in a nigh-indestructible shield.”

Zim cocked his head, one eye slowly narrowing.

“I do apologize! I get my best ideas from you!” The professor was saying, instantly seeing the recognition form in the Irken’s dark reflective eyes and from the slant of his antenna. “Your PAK produces absorbent shielding upon activation! Taking from your life energy in order to maintain it! I have created one that feeds on the energy it absorbs! Making it infinitely better! Here, let me show you just how it works!”

He took a device from a drawer, one of those surgical lasers that only worked for short distances. He walked close to the dummy wearing the metallic strip, and hit the button on the surgical laser. At once a shield of rushing azure appeared, and the weak laser beam fizzled as if the bubble shield’s surface was corrosive. The dummy remained protected.

“Hey. Th-that’s pretty cool.” Zim croaked, antenna docking forwards. “Have you tried sh-shooting some m-missiles at it?”

“Everything! Nothing gets through. But it’s top secret. I do not want the government using this technology. They’d exploit it for nefarious purposes.”

“What do you need it f-for?” Zim’s voice was a thin weedy rasp.

“I want it for my son in case he takes space exploration seriously. It’s completely harmless, only serving to protect the user. I do not endorse weapons, or anything that will encourage violence. My gift is to help others: the world, if necessary, even when humanity is set to destroy it.”

“W-Why?” He rasped.

“Because Earth is my home, as it is yours, little one. You may try to disagree with me, but you know it to be true. I hope that you’ll see the good here, and in every living thing. For a heart is a heavy burden.”

#sorry for the delay I feel like this is just more useless scrap #Saving Zim extras again lol #From the deepest darkest barrels of my insane pitiful writing

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thecassadilla · 5 years ago

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Sick Day

Word Count: 2,053/AO3

Pairing: New Dream/Rapunzel x Eugene

Summary: Rapunzel catches a cold and Eugene blows it out of proportion.

Author’s Note: Hi everyone! This is my contribution for Day 4 of New Dream Appreciation Week - Hurt/Comfort! If I’m being completely honest, I don’t really know what hurt/comfort is lol. I’m not a big fanfic reader, so I’m totally out of my element with this one. I tried to do some research and it’s still not really clear to me lol. Whatever it is, I’m not sure that this is it XD. I hope you enjoy it anyway!

When Eugene woke up that morning, he knew instantly that something was wrong. Rapunzel was still sleeping and she always woke up before he did. He immediately glanced at the clock and saw that it was past ten in the morning. It definitely was not like her to still be sleeping this late, even though it was a Saturday. She was also snoring - something else that she never did.

“Rapunzel?” He whispered, but she didn’t answer.

He was having an out-of-body experience, for sure. Hesitantly, he poked her arm a few times and she stirred.

“What’s wrong?” She mumbled, her voice laden with sleep.

“Are you alright?”

“Mhmm,” she sniffled, her eyes fluttering open. She rubbed at her nose a few times. “Just a little tired.”

“You sound congested,” he pointed out.

She sniffled again, but shook her head. “I’m not.”

“Liar!” He exclaimed, hearing it in her voice. “You’re sick.”

“I’m fine,” she insisted, starting to sit up. “I have a lot to do today.”

“Uh-uh,” he said, grabbing her wrist. “Yesterday you said your throat felt a little weird and today you’re sniffling? You should stay in bed and rest.”

As if on cue, she sneezed. “Fine, I may have a cold. But, I’ll live.”

“You’re staying right here and I won’t take no for an answer. You need tea, soup, and rest. And cold medicine, for sure, if we have it. But even if we don’t, I can go get some.”

She rolled her eyes. “Eugene, you’re overreacting. Besides, Christmas is less than two weeks away and I still have a lot of errands to run.”

“I can run your errands for you, if you want,” he said, and she sneezed again. And again. “You can’t go around spreading germs to the unsuspecting public.”

“You act like I’m the first person in history to have a cold,” she smirked.

“This is the first time you’ve been sick since we’ve been together, and you’ve always taken care of me when I was sick. Now it’s my turn to dote on you.”

She sighed. “Fine, but just this once. Would you mind bringing me a box of tissues?”

“Anything you need,” he promised, jumping out of the bed.

He ran to the bathroom and dug through the cabinet, looking for the aforementioned cold medicine, but as he predicted, they didn’t have any. He grabbed the tissues that she requested, and brought them back to her.

“Your tissues,” he said, as he handed her the box. “Now, we don’t have any cold stuff, so I’ll take a trip to the drug store after I get you some breakfast and tea.”

She took a tissue out and wiped at her nose. “That’s already too much.”

“Just let me take care of you, woman!”

She smiled at him. “Fine, fine.”

He did as he promised, and brought her breakfast and tea to the bedroom. He had planned on staying there and watching her until she shooed him away, so instead he commanded her to stay in bed and ventured out into the frigid cold to get her medicine from the pharmacy. He spent a long time in the aisle, trying to figure out what to get. It wasn’t until after a consultation with the pharmacist that he picked out two different types of cold tablets, aspirin, cough syrup, saline solution, a bag of lozenges, and more tissues.

He was completely expecting Rapunzel to be asleep when he returned from the store, and was shocked that, instead, she was sitting up in bed; one of her legs was bent at the knee and she was using it as leverage to draw in her sketchpad.

“What are you doing up?” He asked.

She looked up and furrowed her eyebrows together. “Drawing?”

“You’re supposed to be resting, sunshine.”

“You’re acting like I just had major surgery. I have a cold; I’m completely capable of going on about my day like I normally would, but because you’re insisting that I stay in bed, I’m drawing.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Creative interpretation of the rules. Alright, I’ll give you that one.”

“I should’ve snuck out while you were at the store,” she muttered under her breath.

“What was that?”

“Nothing,” she smiled sweetly.

He glanced over at the nightstand. “Where are your dirty dishes?”

“I washed them.”

“Rapunzel!”

“What?”

“You were supposed to leave them for me.”

“You’re really blowing this out of proportion, Eugene.”

“And you’re the worst patient, ever,” he remarked, just in time for her to reach for a tissue and sneeze. “See! You’ve sneezed, like a dozen times.”

“I’ve sneezed once since you got back.”

“Well, it’s a good thing I got you all of this cold medicine,” he said, as he dropped the contents of the bag onto the bed.

She gasped. “That’s so much! I thought you were just going to get cold medicine.”

“Um, no. I talked to the pharmacist.”

“He told you to buy all of this?” She questioned, picking up a bottle. “I don’t even have a cough!”

“That’s a ‘just in case’ thing. But the saline is to help clear your sinuses. The lozenges are for your throat, obviously. The aspirin and tissues are also self explanatory. And one of those packets is a decongestant, the other one is an expectorant.”

She raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest. “So your trip to the pharmacy also included a lesson in pharmaceuticals.”

“I, personally, think that it’s wise to be educated on how different drugs work.”

“You’re a dork,” she giggled. “And seriously, most of this is so unnecessary.”

He turned his nose up. “Well, at least we’ll have it if one of us needs it in the future.”

“I appreciate your preparedness.”

He reached over and plucked the sketchpad out of her hands.

“Hey!” She exclaimed.

He raised a finger. “No protests. Take your medicine and get some rest.”

“Am I supposed to just lay here and twiddle my thumbs?”

“No, you’re supposed to sleep.”

She sighed. “Eugene, I can’t fall asleep on command. Don’t you think this is starting to get a little excessive?”

He shook his head. “You should at least try to sleep,” he answered, opening up one of the boxes of cold medicine and popping out a pill. “Here, take this.”

She accepted the pill, and swallowed it. “Do you need to check my mouth to make sure I’m not hiding it under my tongue?” She jested, sinking lower in the bed.

“No,” he sassed, in a high-pitched, mocking tone. He picked up the sheets from where they were resting near the foot of the bed and laid them on top of her, tucking them around her shoulders. “I’ll be back to check on you in a little while.”

“Okay,” she sighed.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When he came to check on her a few hours later, she was laying awake, with her hands folded over her abdomen.

“Did you sleep?”

“Nope,” she gave him a smug, ‘I told you so’ look.

“What did you do that entire time?”

“Died of boredom,” she jeered.

He glared at her. “Haha, very funny.”

“I played with my phone.”

He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Well, I’m going to order Chinese food so I can get you some soup.”

She instantly perked up. “Ooh, will you please get me some lo mein instead?”

He gave her an odd look, almost as if he wasn’t expecting her to throw a wrench in his plans.

“Come on, you should be happy that I have an appetite!” She exclaimed in an exasperated tone.

“You’re right, you’re right,” he agreed, lifting his hands in defeat. “I’ll just get you both.”

“But I don’t even want soup,” she whined. He wasn’t listening to a word she said.

“It’ll make you feel better,” he assured her, turning away.

“I don’t even feel that bad! My nose is a little stuffy and my throat is a little scratchy. That’s it.”

But it was too late; he had already left the room and she could hear him on the phone with the restaurant. She was incredibly frustrated with the entire situation; she didn’t want to be cooped up in bed all day when she didn’t feel horrible, and she wanted him to listen to what she was saying.

After a very quiet dinner, Eugene announced that he was going to relax on the couch so that Rapunzel could continue to ‘rest’ without any distractions. She found herself restless, as predicted, and decided that she needed to talk to him about how he treated her all day.

“Eugene, we have to talk,” she said, as she entered the living room.

“What are you doing out of bed?”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m not bedridden, I have a cold.”

“You should be resting.”

“We need to talk,” she repeated, sitting down next to him on the couch.

His eyebrows furrowed together. “What’s wrong?”

“So, I just want to start off by saying that I am very appreciative of you and so, so grateful that you’re willing to take care of me when I don’t feel well, but -”

“But?”

“At any point today, did you stop and consider how I felt?”

“Of course, that’s why I got you all that stuff from the pharmacy, and -”

“No, Eugene. How I felt? Did you take my feelings into account? Or what I wanted?”

He didn’t answer right away, so she continued.

“I know that I’m a little under the weather, but you were acting like I was incapacitated,” she said, taking his hand in her own. “I know you were trying to do the right thing today, but I can get out of bed, or draw, or do the dishes. You were too busy trying to make me feel better that you didn’t think to ask what would make me feel better.”

He frowned. “Look, I’m really sorry, Rapunzel. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad, I’ve just never taken care of a sick person before and I thought I was doing the right thing. And you've always taken such great care of me, so I wanted to do the same for you.”

“I know. And I promise that I’m not mad or anything, but it is a little frustrating when you tell someone you feel okay and they don’t listen to you. Like with dinner tonight; I told you that I didn’t want soup but you got it anyway. Or when you took away my sketchpad.”

His eyes grew sadder. “I’m sorry, sunshine.”

“Don’t be sorry. It was probably better that I didn’t run my errands today, and I really appreciate that brought the entire pharmacy here. But next time, if I say that I feel well enough to get out of bed, please take my word for it.”

He nodded.

“I think it’s partially my fault, too. I was insistent that I was fine, which isn’t completely true.”

“So, what we learned today is that we need to communicate with each other. And listen when the other person is speaking.”

“Exactly,” she nodded, smiling. “And I promise that I’m really not a difficult patient. Do you know what would’ve made me feel better?”

“What?” He asked, dumbfounded.

“This,” she mumbled, curling her legs up on the couch and leaning her head on his chest. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

“I promise that next time I’ll ask you what you want instead of just assuming what’s best.”

“Much appreciated. And just as a forewarning, next time you get sick, I’m totally going to torture you,” she giggled, and then craned her neck to look up at him. “Just kidding.”

“Oh, you better be kidding,” he warned. “Or else.”

“Or else, what?” She asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“Guess you’ll just have to wait and find out,” he shrugged. “But, one thing I can tell you is that I happen to know that I’m absolutely adorable when I’m all sick and pitiful.”

“Are you now?” She smirked.

“Oh, yes. You of all people should know that - you’ve taken care of me when I was sick.”

“Mm, last time you were sick you were kind of whiny,” she teased, looking away.

He gasped dramatically, playing along. “I was not!”

She smiled. “Were too. But don’t worry, it was kind of adorable.”

#new dream appreciation week #tangled #rapunzels tangled adventure #rapunzel x eugene #new dream #day four #my writing

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the-last-airbadger · 4 years ago

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My 2020

Hey y’all. So 2020 happened. That was a thing. Apparently. I know for a lot of people this year was uhm… pretty shit… but it was still a year that happened so it’s time for my annual reflection post (probably the only time I still post about myself on tumblr lol) and maybe we might even find some good things that happened this year!

The Beginning of 2020 vs Now

So, a lot has changed since the start of the year. A pandemic happened, for one. I can’t believe that a year ago I could still go to class every day and see my friends and now I’m pretty much stuck at home every day. The year started out pretty normal and then march happened and well, you all know what happened next. The worst part about the pandemic for me personally was probably the fact that I barely see my friends anymore and I can’t go to class every day. Some people may not think that not going to class is that bad, but I really enjoyed university more than I ever enjoyed school and I was really happy going there every day, and I was already sad I’d only have 4 to 5 years to spend there, so when that period got even shorter it made me kinda sad.

On the other hand, I do think that mentally I’m in a much better place than I was last year around this time. Being home this much really gave me time to reflect and work on my issues, and because my sister was stuck in our house for a couple of weeks I got to talk to her a lot which really helped me feel better. I think in general my entire family (my brother, sister and mom) have become a lot more open with each other which I think is great! I guess quarantine can have some benefits.

The Best Things about 2020

Okay, here’s is where we’re going to get even more positive and go over all the good things that happened (to me) this year! To be honest, most of the year was a bit of a blur so I probably will forget quite a bit, but I’m going to give this a try anyway. At the start of the year (when things were still normal) I was super excited to get into the next semester, as the one before had,,, kinda sucked, and those 6 weeks of class I had at the start of the year were really great. I remember me and my friends having a competition of who could get mentioned the most in our teacher’s powerpoint presentation so those classes were always interesting. I also finally got to dye my hair for the first time with the help of my friends. I’ve been wanting to do that for so long, and I’m so happy I finally got to do it! I even know how to do it myself now, and my hair hasn’t been brown since the start of march! Then, at the start of march, my dad and stepmother moved away and I permanently moved in with my mom. Before, I used to live with both my mom and my dad and I got really really sick of switching houses every week, so to finally live in one house and have all my stuff in one place was a bit of a relief to me, and I’m still really happy with it. After that, things become a bit blurry. I remember that at the start of quarantine in … April? I watched Sex Education or the first time, which is now not only one of my favourite shows ever, but also taught me a lot and helped me with some of the issues I was dealing with. We’ll skip over the subsequent sexuality crisis I had (I think I might actually be straight??), and skip straight to the summer, when I started watching I-Land. I watched every episode as it aired live, and because of this show my Fridays really became the highlight of the week. I don’t think I’ve ever been so invested in a survival show XD. The rest of the year was mostly just me spending time with myself. It got a bit lonely sometimes, but I also don’t think I’ve ever written as much as I have this year, and my drawing has significantly improved (if I may say so myself)! Especially towards the end of the year, when I started making a planning every day to prevent myself from wasting away all my time on youtube, I got super productive, and I wrote a lot, and made a lot of art, and I really felt good. I even started (gasp) working out. Yeah I know. Shocking right.

There was also a lot of good music that was released this year, and, to close this section on a great note, through one of my classes I finally found a group of friends to play D&D with! We haven’t actually played yet, but we will, and I’m so excited to play the game and get to know these people more! They all seem really kind!

My Resolutions for 2020?

Now, here’s the part where we check whether I actually reached all the goals I set myself for 2020. As usual, I have no idea what my resolutions were, so I honestly have no idea how I did. Let’s see, shall we?

Express my feelings more (as in I get really awkward in any sappy or mushy situation but I would like to be able to tell people I appreciate them without cringing) – UHM way to attack me on the very first resolution jeez. I did get more open with my family but I still can’t tell people I care about them without cringing so this is a fail lol

Again, learn to depend less on other people’s opinion and trust my own – I’ve been working on it, I think I’ve gotten a bit better? So win?

Get my sleeping schedule back on track – did that! It’s a bit whacky again now because of the holidays, but October and November were a big success regarding this resolution

WRITE MORE. This time I’ll make some concrete goals: Either I’ll get my story’s first draft done, or I’ll write 100 pages on a single project – okay, so here’s the thing. I don’t think I did any of these particular things, however this time I am 100% sure I wrote a lot more than the past years. I cannot count all the files and pages and notes I have now, but I wrote a lot, so I’m counting this as a win

I want to try NaNoWriMo (not necessarily in November, but at some point) – yeah, didn’t do that oops

I want to read a lot again but maybe not as much as this year because I want to focus on writing too. 40 books? – 49 books babey

Read all my current unread books (Aru Shah 2, Skullduggery Pleasant 9, Gemina, The Mistborn Trilogy and Call Down The Hawk) and finish my reread of Heroes of Olympus and the Raven Cycle) – Did all of these except Skullduggery Pleasant 9 (the start was so boring I decided not to read it all) and The Mistborn Trilogy (I am about halfway through the first book I think?) so I’m counting this as half a win

Finally read a book by V.E. Schwab (I’ve been wanting to try one of her books for ages) – Did that! Read a whole trilogy. It was good but not as great as I expected them to be. I think my expectations were too high though

Finish Playing Twilight Princess (I promised my brother) – Did that! I’m really proud of myself and so is my brother

Go. Swimming. Seriously. It’s scandalous that I still haven’t done that after waiting so long to be able to – IT’S BEEN 5 YEARS SINCE I LAST WENT SWIMMING WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. I did buy new swimshorts but I still haven’t actually used them… shame on me

Try to worry less about school and not overwork myself – kinda?

Maybe try another drawing challenge somewhere this summer? I haven’t done any of those in a while and I feel like my art needs more attention – okay, so I didn’t do that, but I did at the start of the year make the resolution to make portrait/photoshoot-like drawings for my 8 main oc’s, and I did actually manage to finish that, and they are some of the best drawings I’ve ever made, so though I haven’t actually done a challenge specifically, I did do something

I want to try a 24 hour readathon – Yeah, didn’t do that oops

I kinda want to learn a piano piece as well, but I already have so many hobbies I want to focus on so I don’t know if I’ll have the time ☹ – yeah my dad sold our piano so… fail XD

Expectations for 2021

Now, after last year I think it’s safe to say we can never really know what to expect. But! I’m going to guess anyway because it’ll be really fun to see next year whether I got anything right.

The first thing that I think will probably happen this year (if I don’t majorly mess anything up) is I’ll be writing my thesis next semester, and then in the summer I’ll get my bachelor’s degree. Honestly I can’t believe how fricking fast those 3 years went, but I guess I’ll just have to roll with it lol. Corona vaccinations will also probably start happening next year, and hopefully this will mean that going outside and seeing my friends will be possible again next year – at least a lot more than it was this year. I hope 2021 will be the year of hanging out with friends and getting to live a little again. Maybe even get to go to class. That would be great.

On to more minor – but no less exciting – things, 2021 will probably bring us a new season of Sex Education! I’m sooo excited for that holy shit. And, in a similar vein, I have high hopes for kpop releases now that SHINee is finally back, and it looks like Haseul is also returning to LOONA! 2021 will also be the year in which ENHYPEN makes their first comeback, and some of the other I-LAND contestants will also make their debut, and there might even be a new season of I-LAND as well in the summer? So there’s a lot of things to look forward to. Oh, and I almost forgot, Dan Howell’s book will be released in May, and there will be a new Grishaverse book, and the Shadow and Bone show will start airing, which I am really curious about. Again, lots of things to look forward to!

2021 Resolutions

I’m not feeling as ambitious as I was last year, but there are a couple of things I want to try and do, so let’s jump into the resolutions!

I just came up with this today, but I think I want to try and build a bit of a skincare routine? The skin on my nose is kinda flakey, and I think it couldn’t hurt to try and take better care of my skin

Keep up with my daily workouts. I want to work out every day, except when I’m at my dad’s or when it’s a special day, like Christmas or something.

Be able to do either 50 push-ups on my knees, 25 normal push-ups, or both

GO SWIMMING

Keep up with planning daily! It’s a really good way to balance all of my 3195 hobbies and it helps me to not get stressed about school

Write (almost) every day. I need to make it a habit

Draw at least once a week, every other day if possible

Go outside at least once a week. That doesn’t seem very hard but with corona I did not realise how little I go outside if I am not forced to. Sometimes I spend 3 weeks without going out and I don’t even notice it. That can’t be good for me lol

Try to make healthier food choices. Maybe follow the lunch meal plan of the guy whose workout videos I follow.

Get my bachelor’s degree

Grow a beard. I’m getting closer… I know I’m getting closer…

Meet with my frIENDS and give them the alBUMS I have for them

Be more careful with my money, maybe even save a bit of money

Spend less time on social media

Read more educational books

I think that’s it! I can’t think of anything else right now so these will have to do. I wish that 2021 will treat all of you much better than whatever mess 2020 was! Happy 2021!

Last year’s post: (x)

@the-official-pentacorn @asiandutchgirl

#personal #my 2020 #this year was a wild ride #here's to a better 2021

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alatismeni-theitsa · 5 years ago

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anti - LO anon asks/answers:

(1) Weird, I thought it sent my message, but here's the how the fandom hypersexualizes everything. 1) They thirst after any of the LO gods, in particular to them being shirtless, wear certain clothing (i.e Ares in a white tank top) or them being in a compromised state of pose (like Hades manspreading while being asleep at Demeter's place). 2) This thirst leads them to say things like "I want to bang [LO god]" or "I need to find a man like [LO god] (usually Hades)." Even worse is if the person saying those things has a boyfriend or is already married. They will either call or even wish their man could be "Hades." IT IS LITERALLY SO DISGUSTING. Every time I see anybody make a comment about how badly they want to be with a fictional character, I always feel sorry for their significant other.

(2) I guess this is gonna be an unpopular opinion but—I don’t see why fans sexualizing LO is bad?...what did that anon mean by that exactly? As in like nsfw art and headcannons? Why is that bad? Rachel herself draws porn of her own characters. EVERY fandom hypersexualizes their fave characters, that’s why we have rule 34. If ppl are sexualizing LO Hebe or Aphrodite’s other children, then yes, that’s creepy and sick, but everyone else in LO is an adult so I guess I say...let ppl be horny XD

(3) Adding on to the previous anons, just go to the author’s twitter. It’s a mess I tell ya. Through my experience. I feel like they’re sexualizing Persephone and Hades(Mostly Hades because he is “Perfect Husbando Daddy” to them 💀. (And yes I do understand that Hades in the media has been romanticize a lot throughout the years)Anyways, they keeping talking his “body parts”, what Persephone is gonna do to him,vice versa.If you want me to send some screenshots I can(Patreon too). I haven’t seen it happen to any other character as much as H+P. (Ares,just a little) That’s from Twitter alone,I just wanna enjoy the characters without someone telling me how hot they are every second.😒 It’s almost as if the Author want these types of people. Then again.....

(4) I don't care if these are spoilers, the early LO release (April 19th) has Hades yelling at Persephone like a child after he saved her from a riot (because she was paying the ferry) then they make out after he yells that he "WANTS HER" and she proceeds to run away from him afterwards. It's unearned and creepy bc he yelled such a possessive line (not that he LOVES her or anything, only that he WANTS her). That's supposed to be a big moment but it comes off as rushed and even more imbalanced.

(5) I have to vent a bit; I really love L*re Olympus bc it's just cheesy and I love cheesy dramas and those cutesy neon colours, but what angers me most about is (after how it has nothing with Greek culture), how characters are so... inconsistent. Minthe, a character that was abusive /vocally/, not physically. Making her hit Hades was so ooc- and my GOD, how could a nymph hit a god and get away with it?

(6) Time for your daily dose of LO complaining, LO spoilers so read/publish at own risk - Today's top story: the latest fastpass episode brings us a very special first kiss between two main characters that will remain nameless. Needless to say (imo) it was executed poorly due to poor pacing and lack of build up in the chapter! People rightfully critiqued and diehard fans attacked, claws out. The shocking updates will continue as ~6 episodes separate us between now and the finale. Stay tuned.

(7) Holy shit so this isn't technically related to the anti-Greek prejudice in Lore Olympus, but in the latest update it's revealed that Hades runs all of the banks -- you know, Hades, the big-nosed leader, and he shames tiny innocent Persephone for 1 Not having a bank account 2 For the fact that the her mother thinks all bankers are greedy. So not only does Rachel Smythe hold ignorance towards Greek people,but also she enjoys Antisemitic tropes.

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(1+2) I can understand the thirst for fictional characters... but not when they are the Greek gods, ya know? As anon (2) said, it’s not bad when people are horny. However... it’s at least a little weird when your fetish is old gods from another culture but dressed in a tank top or who knows what else :P And the fact that they reduce the almighty Hades to “UWU hot daddy” makes it even cringier. I am sure that, if the author posts such content, she wants her characters to be sexualized.

I mean, they are free to do it and we are free to comment on it - without limiting their ability to create and enjoy the hypersexualized content. Because, as much as we don’t like it, fans should be free to do whatever they like.

To add something for anon (2): if hypersexualizaion would be more natural if the comic had sex in it or dealt with sexual themes more frequently. I think the only sexual encounter we had so far was r*pe and nothing else. The storyline of the comic is almost irrelevant to the huge thirst fans have for the characters. If the focus is only on their sexuality and not on the plot or characters then it’s cringey. And I think it’s annoying when they sexualize the characters to such a degree. For example, anon (3) wrote “I just wanna enjoy the characters without someone telling me how hot they are every second”.

(3) “Perfect Husbando Daddy” UUUUGHHH.. It’s so funny the HxP in the comic are so boring and vanilla but the fans desperatelly want to turn them into a super sexualized couple? ALSO, SEND SCREENSHOTS! Patreon, comments you think are cringey, everything xD

(4) I am happy this changed because I don’t like the scene at all, for the reasons you mentioned. “I want you” can be translated as “I desire you” so it’s not problematic to me. But the circumstances in which he said that were creepy.

(5) Hmmm interesting point! Of course emotional abuse can happen at the same time as physical abuse, but you are kinda right for Minthe’s character. It felt a little ooc for me too. She wasn’t that type of abuser and it was a weird choice. Also, there is a hierarchy and it is indeed very weird that a nymph could get away with abusing a god. The only case she wouldn’t be punished you be if Hades insisted on it. (Something we didn’t see).

(6) OOOOOH I AM INTRIGUED! Not that I care at this point about the characters, I just want to see the drama 😂 I might search a little more!

(7) Of course she holds ignorance towards Greek people; she thinks we are rich! (muahahahaha that was a bad joke, I will stop now :P ) Generally the comic doesn’t take into account the Greek culture which is offensive but in the characters I didn’t see anti-Greek prejudice. (I might be missing something, idk). In order to have prejudice against something, you need to aknowledge it first. Bold of you to assume she knows we exist 😂

Maybe she made him super rich because he has the richest realm in Greek mythology. And, I mean, Greek noses are not limited to Jewish people, we also have them (my big pointy nose says hi!). I am sure there are Greek bankers with big noses. In fact, I would be surprise if they didn’t have a big nose 😂

I understand that it can also be interpreted as anti-Semitism. But for the reasons I mentioned, I don’t think she aimed to do that. Plus, the character is supposed to be Greek, so I don’t see how Jewish people would be offended by this. Is not possible for every wealthy fictional non-Jewish character with a big nose to reflect Jewish negative stereotypes. It kinda seems that people want to take a bad depiction of one group (Greeks) and make it about another group (Jewish).

Maybe for Americans the stereotype “big nose + wealth” means Jewish but for Greeks... I don’t think we see it that way. For us a banker with a big nose is just a banker with a big nose. For example, look at the big and pointy nose of Aristoteles Onassis, a Greek shipping magnate who amassed the world's largest privately owned shipping fleet and was one of the world's richest and most famous men:

I read the scene with the bank account and... yeah it bad for the things you mentioned. Hades should not be making the decision of Persephone having a bank account. He should at least let her discuss it with her mother first. Plus, the story presents Demeter as a stupid uknowing peasant who thinks money grows on trees and banks are evil.

#I thought i would answer them all together because for 1 . 2 and 3 i could be kinda give a combined answer #anti lo #answered

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shounenkitsune · 5 years ago

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Cake One Shot Sick Fic

Reposted from fanfiction.net, but I feel like I wanna move everything over here bc I prefer tumblr.

Vocaloid fanfic, but tbh they might as well be OC’s bc nothing in the story is relevant to them being Vocaloids XD

Rin stretched out on the floor, trying to get a better look at her painting. She'd already put a lot of water on it. She had to be careful with her next moves, because the paper wouldn't accept much more water here soon. She needed to blend more black into the background, but there was already so much in there, that the rest of it seemed to look like blobs of blue rather than that cool galaxy look. She frowned. Maybe there was another dark color she could use to add depth?

Len released a rather obnoxious belch from his side of the room. He was lying on his back with his eyes closed, one hand resting lightly on his stomach. Rin glanced up at him, then immediately went back to her painting. It wasn't really unusual for him to do that. He was a teenage boy after all. Not that he wasn't respectful, just that he felt comfortable enough around his sister and she didn't mind it, so he didn't feel the need to be so proper and polite. He usually said excuse me afterwards though, but it wasn't such a big deal. Rin didn't care either way.

Rin grabbed a purple watercolor pencil and began shading heavily around the black. She needed it to be prominent, that way she didn't have to use a lot of water to blend it. She heard another large belch as she dipped her brush into the cup of water on the floor in front of her. She brushed it off again and began painting. This happened several times, all of which she ignored, until she started hearing his stomach gurgling all the way on the other side of the room. She looked up at him curiously.

"What's going on?" she asked. Len opened one eye to look at her, then closed it. He muffled another belch.

"What do you mean?" he asked back, not sure what she was talking about. He belched again.

"That," she said. She propped her elbow up on the floor and rested her chin on her hand. "Why are you so gassy? Did you eat too much or something?" Len didn't reply. Most likely he wasn't expecting that answer and got embarrassed. He didn't mind burping in front of her, so long as she didn't draw attention to it.

After not getting an answer for several seconds, she tried again. "Does your stomach hurt? You okay?" Len sighed, knowing he would have to answer her eventually. He didn't particularly like discussing this topic, however.

"I'm fine," he mumbled. He forced down a belch from entering his throat by swallowing. "Must've just been something I ate…"

Rin pursed her lips and furrowed her eyebrows. There was something he wasn't telling her. Len peeked at her with one eye, then opened both eyes once he saw the face she was making. "What?" he asked defensively. Rin squinted her eyes. Len stared back, waiting for her to do something. This went on for a while until Rin blinked and shook her head. She looked back up at her brother, who looked very, very confused. She furrowed her brows again.

"What did you eat today?" she asked. Len was on a diet. Well, technically he was always on some sort of diet. He had marching band, track, cross country, and dance, so he absolutely needed to be fit in order to keep up with the activity. He was pretty good about his home workouts, which was basically just a run every night before bed. He showered in the morning, which was kinda gross, because that meant he went to bed all sweaty, but that's another reason why they had their own sides of the room. But aside from the workouts, he really had a poor will to avoid unhealthy foods he wasn't supposed to have. It wasn't such a bad thing, since he didn't do it very often, and it's also not healthy to completely deny a kid unhealthy foods or desserts while he has to watch everyone around him enjoy them. The only issue is that he kinda binges on junk food from time to time. Knowing Len, he probably did something like chug a 2 liter, or eat a whole box of pizza rolls.

Again, Len took a while to answer. He knew she was gonna chew him out like always, because she was his "diet coach" (which she appointed herself), and he really just wanted to lie down for a while and relax.

He let out a heavy sigh. "Cake," he replied curtly. Rin wasn't surprised. But it made her think for a moment. Eating a singular piece of cake wouldn't make you that gassy.

"How much cake?" she asked. Again, a long pause. Rin expected the worst at that point.

"A cake," he said. Rin furrowed her brows in confusion.

"What do you mean "a cake"?" she asked, then realized what he meant and widened her eyes. "You ate an entire cake!?" she shouted. Len nodded, refusing to open his eyes and look at her. Rin was shocked that he could eat a whole cake by himself. Where did they even get a cake? Rin looked down at Len's stomach, something she hadn't really paid much attention to, and realized that the more she looked, the more she could see how bloated he was. He definitely ate a lot of something.

"How big was it?" she asked. Len held up his hands about a foot apart, then moved them to the side perpendicular to where he first hand them, only closer together, making an imaginary rectangle about one foot by six inches.

"What the actual fuck, Len," she said. Len shrugged. At least she wasn't yelling at him to go for a run. Rin looked at him, concerned. "Are you okay though? I mean, do you think you're gonna puke or something?" Len opened his eyes and looked at her, surprised that she even thought about that. Normally she just told him to do some sort of workout, usually jokingly, sometimes seriously.

"Yeah, I'm alright," he said. "I'm a little nauseous, but I don't think I'm actually gonna throw up." Rin nodded once and chewed her bottom lip nervously, looking over his body. He looked like he was okay, but Rin was actually worried about him this time. I mean for Pete's sake, he ate an entire freaking cake!

Rin stood up and walked over to his side of the room, stopping by his bed. She pulled up his shirt, to which Len didn't object. He even moved his hand out of the way to let her pull it all the way off his stomach. She put her hand on his belly and immediately felt the sloshing and gurgling going on in there, his stomach kicking into overdrive to try and break down that massive lump of food. She rested it there for a moment before slowly dragging her palm across the smooth surface of his skin, making a circular motion. She felt him tense up, then slowly relax and melt into her touch. She rubbed his belly for a while. When they were little, their grandparents used to do this when they had an upset stomach. Normally it was Len who had the tummy ache, since he was the one obsessed with food, so Rin watched a lot of the time. She started doing it herself at around maybe ten. The first time she did it, Len had no idea what she was doing and it got...very awkward to say the least. But now he doesn't mind. He actually rather enjoys it. Belly rubs are really relaxing, and they really do help with the pain of an upset stomach.

Len closed his eyes, the slow motion of Rin's hand lulling him to sleep. He let out another belch and his eyes popped open again, caught off guard by himself, not even feeling it before it happened. Rin could feel it though. His stomach rumbled again, the air bubbles making their way up towards the belly button. She took two fingers and gently pressed them into his stomach just beneath his belly button, rubbing in a circle, but not moving in a wide circumference. Len's stomach gurgled loudly, bubbling angrily. Len flinched. That gurgle had upset his stomach more and he felt a sharp stab of pain where Rin's fingers were. He almost grabbed her hand and pulled it away, but he started to feel better as the air made its way up. He could feel warmth rising up towards his throat. For a moment he waited for the belch, but then leaped forward and made a mad dash out of their room, leaving Rin standing there beside his bed, dazed.

The bathroom was upstairs, so he ran into the kitchen, dropping to his knees in front of the large trash can. He retched violently, coughing and sputtering as the warmth moved up into his throat. He could now feel the burning pain of the stomach acid in the back of his throat. He retched again and vomited into the trash can, coughing and struggling to breathe.

Len's mom was sitting at the kitchen table playing a game of cards by herself while reading an ebook on her tablet. She was surprised when someone suddenly raced into the room and dropped to the floor in front of the trash can. It took her a moment to realize what was going on and who it was. She stood up and briskly walked over him.

"Len? Hey hey hey, are you okay?" She put her hand on his back and pulled his hair out of his face while he puked. She looked into the trash can and became worried. His vomit was a muted pink color, and it was very liquidy. What did he eat? Or maybe it was blood mixed in with his stomach contents…

His mom rubbed his back and waited for him to finish before asking any more questions. He wouldn't be able to answer them until he was done anyway. After a while, the retching died down a bit. He started letting out low belches instead, with a little bit of retching mixed in. Thinking he was almost done, his mom pat his back and looked him in the eye. He looked tired.

"You alright, baby?" she asked. Len thickly swallowed, then spit into the trash can. Some saliva stayed on his bottom lip though, creating a small string that started to drip down into the trash can. He spat again to get rid of it, but it wouldn't budge. He tried again, but coughed harshly and groaned. He nodded softly, no longer looking at his mom. He still felt really nauseous, and he knew he wasn't done, but he felt a lot better now that his stomach was empty.

His mom put her hand on his forehead, feeling for a fever. He felt normal. She furrowed her brows and pursed her lips, a trait she very noticeably passed onto her daughter. Maybe he ran too hard and made himself sick? The treadmill was upstairs though, so he should have ran into the bathroom, not all the way downstairs into the kitchen.

"You think you're almost done?" she asked. Len mouth breathed for a few seconds, trying to catch his breath. He wanted to be done, but his stomach still felt hot, and it was swishing and gurgling. He shrugged, the motion upsetting his belly more.

"Ohh," he moaned softly. "It still hurts." He was about to take a breath in when he suddenly lurched forward and belched up another string of vomit. He coughed softly, almost as if he was crying. His mom got worried and looked to check. His eyes were watering, but he didn't look like he was actually crying. His nose wasn't red or anything, and he looked more tired than in pain. A few seconds passed before he retched again. That felt like it might be the last of it though. He hurled one more time before his stomach felt empty. He could hardly breathe when he was finished.

His mom pat his back a few times and waited for him to say something or get up. She didn't want to bug him with questions or make him feel pressured to be done quickly. He tended to get embarrassed whenever he got sick. He always wanted to be alone. He surely didn't want her to be there right next to him while he threw up.

"Ohh...I feel better," he mumbled, closing his eyes. He let out a deep sigh and relaxed, leaning back into his mom. He let his head rest heavily on her chest. His mom pulled him up into her lap and pressed her cheek on the top of his head.

"What happened, baby?" she asked in a sweet voice. "Do you feel sick? Did you eat something bad?" It wasn't like him to just randomly throw up.

"I'm okay," was his reply. He was too exhausted to explain any further. He lied there in his mom's lap for a while, trying to catch his breath and get some energy back. His mom asked him more questions.

"Were you feeling bad this morning?"

That just happened to be Tuesday, a school day. The kids had been home for about an hour or so. She wondered if he'd gone to school feeling sick. It wouldn't have been the first time. He liked to hide it for some reason. She could feel him shaking his head, however.

"No," he mumbled. He didn't feel like answering her questions. He wanted to go back to his room and lie down. He felt better getting that out of his stomach, but he still felt awful. "Mom, I'm tired. Can I go back to my room?" His mom bit her bottom lip after hearing that. She didn't want to just send him to his room without knowing why he suddenly got sick.

"Yeah, okay," she said. She rubbed his back a few times, then helped him to his feet. She would check on him later. Maybe he would feel more up to talking then. She led him down the hall to the twins' room. Rin was sitting on his bed, sketchbook in her hands. She looked up at them as they entered.

"Hey, you doing alright?" she asked her brother. She could hear him from their room. Len nodded, his eyes half closed. He was sleepy before he got sick. He was even more tired after his abdominal muscles forced out everything in his stomach.

Rin moved off of his bed so he could lie down. He got in bed and dug himself under the covers. He curled up into a ball, cradling his knees to his chest with one hand tucked between his stomach and his legs, holding his stomach.

Rin frowned and sat down beside her sick brother. He may be an idiot for being so reckless, but she still felt bad for him. She slowly rubbed his arm up and down in a soothing manner. Len whimpered and squeezed his eyes shut, curling in even tighter on himself. God, his stomach was killing him. He didn't think he would get this sick from eating a simple cake. Despite the cake no longer being in his system, his stomach still gurgled and groaned uncomfortably. He muffled a few belches into his pillow.

"Do you want some water or anything?" Rin asked softly. "Any medicine?" She felt helpless just watching him suffer.

Len could hardly bring himself to speak. His throat was so dry and cracked from all the stomach acid. "Water…" he croaked out. Rin nodded, even though he couldn't see her face. She went to the kitchen to get him a glass of water. Her mom stopped her before she could open the cupboard.

"Rinny?" she called out to her. Rin turned around to face her mother.

"Hm?" she replied, turning back to get a glass down from one of the shelves. Her mother looked at her worriedly.

"Have you seen your brother recently?" she asked. Rin slowly looked back at her and nodded, frowning. Her mother bit her lip, concerned.

"Yeah," she mumbled. "He had an upset stomach, so I tried to give him a belly rub to make him feel better, but then he ran away all of the sudden." She saw the look on her mother's face and could only guess what happened when he was gone. "I assume he threw up?" Her mother nodded.

"He was pretty upset when I last saw him," she added. "He looked like he was in a lot of pain. I didn't know what to do, so I asked him if he needed anything, and he said some water would be nice." Remembering that he needed the water, Rin hurriedly filled the glass with ice and water and started to make her way back to their room. Her mother stopped her again.

"Did he tell you anything about why he's feeling bad?" she asked. "He was pretty drained after he threw up, so he didn't really explain anything to me about what was going on." Rin nodded.

"Yeah, he uh…" she shook her head and laughed at him in pity. "He told me he ate an entire cake. I'm sure he's learned his lesson about portion control, though." Her mother sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"What am I gonna do with him…" she mumbled. Rin shrugged and went back to their room to deliver the water to him. Surprisingly, he had fallen asleep in the short time she took to get it for him. She sighed and set the glass on the nightstand beside his bed. Taking a seat next to him, she leaned down and gave him a quick kiss on his forehead before ruffling his hair lightly.

"You're such a dummy, Lenny…" she mumbled to herself, then lied down next to him, spooning him. Len tossed a little in his sleep, whimpering to himself. Rin hushed him and rubbed his arm up and down. Eventually he relaxed from his fitful sleep and fell into a deeper dream state. Rin was beginning to feel tired as well. She ended up falling asleep next to him, keeping him warm while he recovered from his bad decisions. Hopefully he had learned his lesson.

#sickfic #sicfic #burping #nausea #vomiting #emeto #emetophilia

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larissaloki · 5 years ago

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Walking Avengers: Undead Soldiers 1

*yeets this at you all before disappearing*

soooo XD it’s been a while, but I kinda got into a new fandom and that overtook my life for a good while, then i started uni and then it was a battle to find time to do this as i ended up rewriting most of this as i couldnt get Tony right! so i hope people are still reading this and are looking forward to this! comment what you think and come scream at me! Thank @starsofyggdrasil as you all nearly ended up with pure angst XD enjoy!!

tw: mentions of abuse and torture!!

“Red sky at night, shepherds delight. Red sky in the morning, shepherds take warning”

“Glad to see that you got my present, Tony. I was beginning to think it got crushed or kicked by biters,” A smooth British voice comes over the radio.

Looking around at everyone’s reaction, it’s clear that no one immediately recognises the voice coming over the radio. Mentally steeling himself for what he knows is going to be a hard and long conversation, Tony brings up his radio again.

“Who are you?” Straight to the point, Tony’s tone making it known that he had very little tolerance for games right now. Every second counted if they wanted to get Steve back alive.

“Straight to the point, I like that.” The voice takes a slight jaunty but mocking tone, already Tony could feel his teeth grinding irritably. “My name is Francis, as I’m sure the other group told you-” eyes widening in surprise, Tony gaze snaps to Charles, whose face has become slightly pale but contemplative at that, “-my men told me they helped your group out earlier,”

God! Tony already hated this man, gritting his teeth harder to try and keep himself from spitting out something he will end up regretting; this asshole’s calm, almost conversational tone, was grating on his nerves already.

“Your men took one of ours, where is he?” Tony spoke slowly, each word carefully pronounced as he works to keep control on his rising temper. Slowly, he was going mad with worry over what was happening to Steve, and Tony hated the feeling of being helpless most. To try and keep his mind focused, Tony went through the various bombs he could make to utterly destroy Francis with.

“Ah yes, Captain America- or rather Steve Rogers now, right?” Francis huffs out a laugh. Feeling his temper soaring to near impossible heights, Bucky’s hand on his knee helped Tony to keep himself calm when imagining this pricks death fails, Tony tries asking again.

“Where is he, Francis? What do you want?”

“Oh, he’s enjoying the welcoming committee right now-“ A scream, a very horrifyingly familiar pained scream that cracks, a sure sign of having screamed and yelled for a long time, comes over the radio. Everyone tenses as they realise who that was, Tony’s knuckles going white as he grips the radio hard as he can, the actual radio creaking from how hard he’s holding it. Beside him, Bucky snarls out a quiet but vicious line of curses, biting at his own knuckles to stop himself from snatching the radio. Bruce quickly stands and leaves the room, unable to stay and listen to this, without hulking out. “-so, he’s in good hands! Now that other question? That’s what I wanted to really talk to you about,”

Breathing deeply, Tony tries to gain control of his trembling body. Frustrated, angry tears gather at the corners of his eyes, though he stubbornly refuses to let them fall. His body shakes in terror as he thinks about what could possibly be happening to Steve. All sorts of thoughts fly through his head as he wonders which torture tactics they must be using to get a scream like that out of Steve.

Some days, Tony truly hates his overactive imagination.

It takes several counts to 10 for Tony to be able to bring the radio up again, though he’s unable to hide the tremor in his voice, he still vainly hopes that the breaking of his voice can’t be heard over the crackling of the radio.

“What do you want Francis, stop playing games and tell me…”

The radio falls silent for a few moments, Tony almost fears that Francis has left them hanging, while simultaneously grateful for the reprieve from hearing Steve’s screams of pain. He hopes that Francis is just simply changing rooms or dropped the radio. He even, optimistically, briefly, hopes that Steve had broken free. That his sweet, familiar voice would soon come over the radio, instead of the awful, joyful tone that Francis has.

Tony’s budding hope was soon dashed when Francis answered.

“I actually only want one thing, Tony. You see, my guys overheard a very interesting conversation the other day. Your oh so lovable Super Soldiers are such gossips I must say”

Bucky freezes beside Tony, his eyes widening slightly as he recalls that day. They had gone to the medi-centre, in the middle of town where he and Steve chatted in the middle of the road. Where they discussed Wade.

Bucky could feel eyes on him, no doubt wondering what Francis is talking about.

“What exactly did your guys overhear?”

“That a boy in your group, Wade was it? Is immune to the biters. Now that is truly something huh? We want the kid, Tony. That’s it. I’ll give you till morning to think it over”

The radio line goes silent before Tony could even think of a reply.

“I’m so sorry Tony…”

Jolting at the sound of Bucky’s voice knocks him out of his own shocked state. When Tony drags his eyes up to look at him, he sees the pure guilt on Bucky’s face, His shoulders hunched as if trying to make himself smaller, both his face and eyes downcast and glued to the floor, creating a curtain somewhat with his loose hair. A stone sits heavily in Bucky’s stomach, making him feel violently sick that this is all happening because he and Steve talked about Wade out in the open. They should have had more sense than that!

Realising and recognising the spiralling that Bucky’s thoughts must be going through as something Tony himself had experienced many times in the past. Particularly just after he was kicked from the Avengers all those years ago, those where some of his hardest and darkest times. Tony can’t let Bucky blame himself for all this.

“Hey, no babe look at me- don’t blame yourself for this ok? James, look at me,” intertwining his hand with Bucky’s, Tony shuffles as close as he can to Bucky without actually sitting in his lap. Momentarily tuning out the others in the room who have started to murmur amongst themselves in hushed whispers. His own voice hushed in an urgent plea for Bucky to listen to him.

“This is not your fault OK? This asshole had all the chances to just leave us be or join us in search for a cure for this mess. He chose to attack us. He chose to take Steve and to target Wade. Not you ok?”

Tony gently cups Bucky’s cheek to urge him to face Tony, eyes are alight and fierce with anger, but not aimed at him, Bucky realises. No, aimed at those that would dare try and hurt the ones they care about. Still Bucky weakly speaks, his mind not completely convinced yet.

“But he wouldn’t have targeted us if we had just kept our mouths shut-“

“Nope! Don’t do that to yourself OK? You had no idea they were listening in, you can’t blame yourself for this James, OK? If we are to blame anyone, it is Francis we will blame for all this”

“Tony is right my friend, it is not your fault” Charles calming voice draws their attention, the room quiets as he speaks. “Francis had a choice to not do all this, he has the choice to peacefully reach out to us even. However, if you feel you must do something, help us think of a way to get back your friend Steve and to keep young Wade safe.”

Nodding, taking in what both Tony and Charles are trying to say to him, Bucky rubs at his face, suddenly feeling physically and mentally exhausted. Grateful to the subs trying to help him even when they themselves -- especially Tony -- must be struggling to deal with the situation that’s fallen into their laps.

Picking up on the signs of Bucky’s exhaustion, Sam stands as his own body starts to feel sluggish and sleep becomes a pressing need. They all need to sleep and gather themselves for what promises to be a rough road ahead.

“We should all sleep. We’re all exhausted and especially after that conversation we need to clear our heads. There’s not much we can do right now, and we are all too drained to properly plan anything”

“Shouldn’t we talk about what he wants? This kid- Wade, that he mentioned?” Pyro pipes up from his place, he’s one of the few that actually looks fairly awake out of all of them. A snarl seems to rip itself from Tony’s throat as he jumps to his feet, an almost feral look on his face as he stares Pyro down.

“We are not handing Wade over to that monster, there is nothing to discuss about that! We will just have to stall or try and draw them out, but they are not getting that poor kid!”

Quickly standing in between the furious sub and their idiot of a teammate, Logan raises a hand in peace while the other one reaches back to smack Pyro around the head. Ignoring the indignant yelp from Pyro, Logan tries to keep his usually rough and gruff voice, as soothing as possible.

“I’m sure Pyro didn’t mean it like that, no one is thinking of handing the kid over.” Taking a step back to give Tony some more room as the sub still looks agitated and likely to lash out, Logan looks to Charles for help here.

Placing a hand on Tony’s shoulder to try and calm him, but also partly to keep him still, Thor glances at Logan and his group members.

“I think it’s best we all split ways for now…”

Inclining his head in agreement, Charles softly orders his people to leave the room. “We shall see you all in the morning, James? Take care of him and yourself tonight”

Leaving the Avengers to themselves, Tony finally started to relax when Pyro left the room, though his body still shook and trembled from the accumulated stress of the last few weeks. Everything that had happened was starting to fully catch up to him and was becoming a bit too much. For a small while, Tony wishes he could just relax fully and forget the world outside and all of its troubles. Wishes that he could go to sleep without wondering if a walker will get inside.

Bucky felt his heart break as he gathers Tony into his arms, trying to pull him as close as possible, wanting desperately to shield Tony from all of this. Though they all know, Tony would kick their collective asses and then some, if they tried such a thing.

Regarding them quietly from the side, Loki had been passively silent and observing until now. Detaching himself from the room in order to analyse everything without letting his emotions rule his judgements like his brother was prone to do.

“Thor and I shall keep watch tonight, swapping with Nat and Sam during the night.” Shaking his head and raising a hand to halt Bucky’s protests, half-hearted as they are, Loki continues on, “You two need the most time to calm yourselves. Sleep and we shall continue this on the morn”

Murmuring his thanks, Bucky picked up Tony bridal style, thankful that Tony wasn’t fighting him on it now either. Tony simply buries his face closer into Bucky’s neck, eyes squeezed shut as Bucky heads to the door.

At the door exiting the room is Bruce, waiting for them and no doubt having heard all of that. Though to Bucky’s relief, not a hint of green in sight. Falling into step with Bucky, Bruce walks with them up to the second floor and down to the room Bucky, Steve and Tony had been sharing. Both glancing at the door to the kid’s room as they listen out for any sounds of the kids being awake. Satisfied when they both hear soft snores, Bruce finally speaks softly.

“I will spend the night in the room with the kids, just in case. As much as I didn’t want to, I caught pretty much the entire conversation exchange. You two are exhausted and need to rest” Bruce gives Bucky a lopsided reluctant grin, “Plus, not many would be willing to break into the same room as the hulk”

Lifting his head finally to peek out at his friend, Tony mumbles out a soft thank-you. Tony had been planning on sleeping in the kids’ room tonight but knows he’s in no state to keep watch properly.

His mind is going numb and hazy with the desire to go down into subspace, unable to focus properly on anything but how soft and warm Bucky’s body feels right then under his itchy skin. It’s been so long since Tony had been able to go under. Since before all this had started. The stress and constant need to keep running had done wonders at keeping this itch under his skin at bay, but now it’s come back harder than ever, yet still he fought it. Not wanting, or able, to fall into that space when so much danger was about. Despite this, he knows that the longer he pushes it back, the worse the drop will be when it eventually happens.

Seeing his friend’s hazy, muzzy look, Bruce glances up at Bucky and indicates at Tony while mouthing the words ‘sub drop’. Not entirely surprised by this, Bucky nods and quickly heads into their shared bedroom, muttering a quick goodbye to Bruce.

Carrying Tony to the large bed, a bit alarmed at how quick this change had come about, though everyone had been expecting it to happen sooner or later, Bucky slips off Tony’s shoes before running his hands gently through Tony’s thick locks.

“Baby doll, you’re dropping really fast, are you ok with me helping you through this? We won’t do anything, just cuddle yeah? Maybe a foot or back rub?”

Blinking slowly, Tony tries to think as his mind becomes more sluggish, his resistance against the drop falling away as everything practically screams at him to let go, that he’s safe. A small part of Tony knows that, with Bucky or Steve, there’s no safer place really to be. Shaking his fuzzy mind to try and clear it enough to respond, Tony tugs weakly at Bucky’s sleeve.

“Off…too scratchy”

Bucky frowns a little bit as he tries to comprehend what Tony is referring to.

“You mean the clothes, doll?” Getting a small nod in return, Bucky releases a small breath and smiles fondly, the earlier spiralling thoughts shoved to the back of his mind as he focuses on Tony right in front of him. His worry for Steve still lurks, but both know there’s nothing they can currently do to help, so Bucky will focus on the one thing he can do. Help Tony regain balance.

“Ok, doll, I’ll take off the clothes but I’m leaving the underwear on ok?”

Ignoring the huff from Tony, Bucky quickly and efficiently strips both himself and Tony of their clothes, kicking them away from the edge of the bed so that no one trips over them when they get up. Before going to the bathroom to look for some oil, Bucky makes sure to tuck Tony into the bed as snuggly as possible, murmuring softly to the already drowsy sub.

“I’ll be right back sweetheart ok? Want me to rub you down or you just want to cuddle, hmm?” Placing a soft kiss on Tony’s warm and slightly sweaty forehead, pretty much the only bit of skin Bucky can currently see. As he gently plays with the soft, brown locks of hair, Bucky mentally makes a note that they are in need of a cut.

“Mmmkay.” Mumbling, Tony noses into the blankets that are pulled tight around him, each inch of fluff is a soothing balm for his itchy skin, though he is infinitely glad that Bucky isn’t making him kneel on a cushion right then. Tony’s not sure he could handle that right then.

In almost no time at all, Bucky is back to the bed with a bottle of lotion in his hands which he places on the table, next to the bed, but within easy reach.

“Come on doll, let’s get you on your front so I can rub you down before you sleep hmm?” cooing and cajoling the fuzzy sub, Bucky eventually gets Tony to relinquish his death grip on most of the blankets and roll onto his stomach, leaving his back and shoulders free for Bucky to work.

Grabbing the bottle of lotion, Bucky pours a generous amount onto his flesh hand and lets it sit in his hand a bit to try and warm it up before lowering his hand to start rubbing it into Tony’s flushed and warm skin.

Moaning softly at the firm but gently movements of Bucky’s hands, which rub and dig into each and every tense muscle, slowly working out the knots until each muscle becomes lax and loose, Tony fights the urge to squirm and fidget. Even now his body is unable to stay still, sub drop or not Tony is unable to sit still for more than a minute before the urge to move grows.

Chuckling at the squirming body beneath him, Bucky uses his knees that’s either side of Tony, to pin him in place as much as possible. Tutting as he gently chides Tony.

“Hold still babydoll, can’t make sure I get every spot if you keep squirming huh?”

With a whine, but now visibly trying to keep still, Tony buried his face into his arms as Bucky kneeded at the small of Tony’s back. Loosening the muscles and cracking Tony’s spine, making Tony grunt but moaning in relief when tension he didn’t know he had, suddenly melts away.

“Feel better, doll?” Bucky leans down to softly whisper into Tony’s ear, grinning a bit when he sees a shiver go down Tony’s back. Pulling back when Tony nods quickly in response, Bucky makes sure that all of the lotion is properly rubbed in, leaving Tony with soft and smooth skin.

Slurring a protest when Bucky gets up again, leaving Tony cold, only for the half-formed protest to quickly die in his throat when he feels Bucky slipping in behind him, pulling the blankets up to cover them both. Dragging Tony back against his chest, Bucky spoons up behind Tony, holding him tighter than usual.

Humming contently when he’s delightfully warm again, Tony pays no mind to the tight hold as he snuggles further into Bucky’s arms and blankets, slowly starting to drift asleep as his body goes practically boneless.

Behind him, Bucky presses soft, chaste kisses into the back of Tony’s head, thumb stroking slowly in feather-light touches over Tony’s arms and chest. Lulling the sleepy Sub into a deep and restful sleep for the first time in days.

Nuzzling softly into Tony’s hair, it takes another hour of assuring himself that they will save Steve, they will take out Francis and keep Wade and Peter safe, before Bucky can finally fall asleep.

A few hours later, the sun rises into a red sky.

#larissaloki #walking avengers #walking dead inspired #tony stark #Steve Rogers #james bucky barnes #stuckony #bruce banner #natasha romanoff #clint barton #Charles Xavier #wade wilson #peter parker #sam wilson #Thor Odinson #Loki Laufeyson #tw: abuse

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hannah-deactivated20220725 · 5 years ago

Text

Now Kyle Knows...

I am warning you now, this little snippet ended up being four pages xD You have been warned.

Words: 1,673

Characters: Kyle, Aria and [Jarred]

Genre: aaaangst

Situation: You guys already know about Aria’s fight with her best friend... well, now so does Kyle. Wonderful, protective ol’ daddy...

It had been a couple of weeks since Aria had shown up at Kyle and Jarred’s house. She was out, shopping and Kyle and Jarred were at the house by themselves.

Jarred sat on the couch with his back pressed against Kyle’s side and his head resting on his shoulder.

“So… has she told you what’s going on yet?” Kyle asked randomly, muting the tv they had been watching. Jarred glanced over at his husband with questioning eyes.

“Who?” He asked, but as soon as they were look at each other, he understood. “Uh, no. You?” Kyle wordlessly shook his head with a heavy sigh.

“Do you think she’ll ever tell us?” Jarred asked with a worried frown as he settled his head back on Kyle’s shoulder. Kyle shrugged.

“I have no idea,” he said bluntly, glancing at the back of Jarred’s head and nuzzling his face into it. “I worry though. I’ve heard her crying herself to sleep nearly every night. I’m trying to give her privacy but how am I supposed to kill whoever did this to her if she doesn’t tell me?” Jarred smiled at little at his husband’s protectiveness.

“Maybe…” he hesitated, the words not wanting to escape his mouth. “... maybe she’s trying to protect them,” he said carefully.

“Protect a person that’s caused her to cry every night for the past couple weeks or longer?” Kyle asked, voice filled with disbelief. “Why would she do that?” Jarred turned to look at Kyle. His face filled Kyle with dread. “You don’t think…?”

“You did say she started crying harder when you mentioned them…” Kyle shook his head, refusing to acknowledge that that was even a possibility.

“They would never do this to her.” Jarred lifted an eyebrow.

“You know Sam is seeing that man… and that Aria has been in love with him for years…” He reminded his husband carefully. “I’m just saying… it’s a possibility. Don’t discount the possibility til we know for sure. And prepare yourself in case it’s the case.” Kyle’s mouth fell open as if to protest but no words came out. Finally, he sighed and pressed Jarred in close.

“They haven’t called us in a couple months…” Kyle said as if it perfectly explained what was going on. Jarred pressed closer.

“What are we going to do?” He asked softly.

“Get the truth from our daughter,” Kyle replied sternly.

---

Aria got home a few hours later, arms full of bags of new clothes. She had told her fathers she wanted to revamp her whole look, so slowly, she was buying new clothes. She put the bags down in front of the entrance into the living room, glancing at her fathers and smiled a little at them.

“Hey, you two. What are you watching?” She asked curiously, tilting her head to the side. Kyle spoke first.

“Nothing now.” She tilted her head more, wondering what that meant while Jarred turned the television set off so they could talk. She blinked at them as Kyle patted the couch next to Jarred and smiled gently at her.

“Sit,” he instructed, tone telling her she had no choice to argue the matter. She stared between her dads but did as asked.

“What is it?” She asked uncertainly, feeling uncomfortable suddenly.

“It has been a couple weeks now that you’ve been living with us…” Kyle began, filling her with dread.

“Are you going to ask me to move out?” She asked quietly, looking terrified. Kyle stared quietly at her for a minute before patting her hand as she sat next to Jarred.

“Of course not. I told you you can stay as long as you need, and I meant it,” he reassured her. She blinked up at him with round, curious eyes.

“What do you need to ask me then?” She asked uneasily.

“It’s been a couple weeks now since you just… suddenly showed up at our doorstep,” he said again, glancing at Jarred then back at their daughter. She was staring back, swallowing hard and he could hear every breath she took, she was breathing so hard.

Kyle and Jarred shared a silent look before Jarred took over.

“Baby girl, we’re concerned. You just showed up in tears and we still don’t even know what’s going on,” he said after a moment. Her bottom lip twitched uneasily.

“I don’t want you to kill him,” she said softly, looking down at her lap, which she was rubbing. Kyle frowned.

“Kill who?” He asked flatly.

“I still love him,” she whispered, tears welling up in her eyes. His eyes widened as he suddenly realized who she was talking about… and why she had refused to tell him what was going on up til that point.

“Sam?” Jarred asked, voice filled with suprise. Their daughter hesitated but nodded silently. The tears fell from her eyes as she closed them tightly.

“I don’t want to get him into trouble,” she whispered, fists tightening in her lap. Kyle and Jarred shared another look, this time of surprise. Jarred was wondering what was going through his husband’s head at that moment. Kyle was so attached to Sam… what was he thinking? Was he still feeling as murderous as he had been before he knew who these tears were abour or was he just conflicted now? Kyle stared at her quietly, mouth parting as if to speak but he couldn’t find the words to say. He felt so uneasy about this. He didn’t even know what happened, and he was already ready to call the son of a bitch up…

“What happened?” He finally asked, voice so tight that it almost choked off completely. He and Jarred watched Aria quietly, waiting for her to muster up the courage to tell her fathers what happened.

“Aria,” Jarred said gently after a minute, frowning while he rubbed her back soothingly. “What’s going on, sweetie?” She hesitated a little longer.

“H… he…” Her bottom lip trembled as she stared at her lap, willing herself not to cry yet again. She had already cried so much in the last few months since it happened… she kind of wondered how she still had tears to cry. “He… said awful things to me… b-because I can’t… let him go,” she said i almost a whisper. Kyle stared at her quietly for a minute, trying to wrap his mind around what kinds of awful things Sam would ever say, but he was drawing a blank. They were so close… what could he have possibly said that was so terrible that she’d cry herself to sleep every night for the last two weeks at least?

“What did he say?” Kyle finally asked flatly. Aria glanced up, eyes wide. She didn’t want to tell him, but she knew he wouldn’t let this go. Not when she was in tears like this. Jarred was still rubbing her back while he silently waited for her to answer her daddy’s question. She took a deep breath then held it for a couple of minutes before quickly telling them, “Hesaidhedoesn’twanttobemyfriendanymore.” Kyle and Jarred shared another look, this time of shock.

“Why?” Kyle asked, voice gruff and upset. She blinked away the tears threatening to well back up into her eyes.

“H-he… he said that we can’t be friends if… if I can’t get over him,” she whimpered, then buried her face in her hands, bursting into tears again. Kyle suddenly flashed back to when he’d asked her what her worst fear was and suddenly realized why she was taking this so hard.

“Fuck,” he said under his breath and moved to wrap his arms around her. “I’m sure he didn’t mean it princess,” he said, trying to reassure her, but she pulled away to cry harder.

“He meant it, daddy. You should have heard the way he said it… and seen the way he looked at me. He hates me because I love him.” Kyle swallowed hard, struggling not to stand to kill his adopted son.

“He… doesn’t hate you, Aria,” he said gently, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. Jarred was staring at Kyle, wondering what he was thinking after hearing this news. He was also visibly upset by the news but was trying to keep calm, for their daughter’s sake. He wrapped his arms around Aria, kissing her shoulder.

“It’s going to be okay. He just needed to let off a little steam,” he said cautiously.

“Then why hasn’t he called? Why hasn’t he apologized? It’s been over a month!” Aria cried out in reply, rocking herself while she cried uncontrollably. Kyle and Jarred glanced at each other wordlessly. Jarred was surprised to see a calm expression on Kyle’s face. Why was he so calm? If it was anybody else, Kyle would already be teleporting away to kill the motherfucker… but he just sat there.

“Aria… get yourself together,” Kyle said gently, squeezing her shoulder.

“I’m so sick of everybody telling me to get over it!” She screamed, moving to bury her face into Jarred’s shoulder as she wept. Kyle frowned.

“I never said get over it,” he said flatly, face clearly showing his annoyance. “I said get yourself together. It could have been worse, right?” She looked up at him, eyes red and blotchy from crying so hard.

“How could you say that?” She asked, swallowing hard. “Aren’t you on my side?” He stared at her a minute.

“Of course I’m on your side,” he said after a moment. “I just…” He stared another minute before standing. “I need a minute,” he said, voice calm, though when Jarred looked up at him, his eyes were flashing murderously.

“Ky-” Kyle put his hand up to quiet his husband.

“I will be back,” he said simply, then disappeared. Aria pulled her face off her papa’s shoulder to look into his eyes.

“Papa, what is daddy doing?” She asked, voice full of dread.

“I’m afraid to ask that question,” Jarred answered, biting his lip. “Guess we’ll know soon enough if he’s killing your best friend or not…”

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starsmuserainbow · 5 years ago

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(I've never done this before but...) All symbols for that Munday meme? XD

Monday Malarkey

[[Thanks for sending! And wow guess that means this post will be quite a size xD!]]

☯ : Do you prefer to wing it or to plot things out first when it comes to longer threads?

I think that always depends - but in general, I assume it tends to be good to at the very least have a starting point, so I guess that means plotting (to a degree, and not completely counting when stuff comes from memes because usually that takes care of a rough starting-point)? But when we do have a general ‘what we want to happen’, I think it’s nice to just let things happen as they do?

So, I guess a mix of both!

✎ : What is your favorite genre to write for in roleplay?

I don’t know, actually! I’m absolutely incapable of putting stuff into genres, so I don’t know! I like when, somewhere in threads, people actually open up to one another, like, talk about past happenings or the likes. And I think a lot of my threads would go into the ‘casual’ or ‘fluff’ category so maybe that? But I have a lot of other threads I like or liked a lot too, so I don’t think I really have a favourite genre.

✉ : What’s your favorite genre to read in roleplay?

I don’t really read that much specifically because of it being in a genre - if at all, I read RPs because they appear on my dash by being done by one of my mutuals with someone else!

✘ : Are there any genres you refuse to write for?

Smut would be the first thing I can name here, since I simply don’t write that stuff. Outside of that, uh, I can’t think of anything immediately!

✪ : Do you use roleplay as a method to better your writing in some way? If so, what are you trying to improve on?

I don’t actively think that I’m using it to better my writing, but I think upon repeating something again and again - which basically any RPer existing longer than a week does - it’s pretty much automatic that it also helps one to get better at it, so I sure hope that RPing does better my writing!

I can’t name anything in particular that I’m currently working on improving - I can say that I’m definitely interested in dash talk and all that stuff (you know, these fast-paced things that usually go back and forth quickly and die after a few hours or so) though I can’t quite see me actually trying to participate in it.

🎭 : Is roleplaying/writing a way to cope when things get rough irl?

I like to live in the world of my RPs, of my characters, so yes in a way - but I don’t really think I’m coping with stuff. It’s just that I like to think myself into a different world, and yeah. I guess I’m just mostly ignoring RL as much as I can anyway, so there isn’t really much to cope?

⌘ : How much importance do you place real experience into the things you write/rp?

Pfft, right, I could barely write about anything at all, then!

So, to actually answer this: Very little importance. I think as long as one can write it well, or imagine it, it isn’t important if they actually have experience in the area or not.

⚡ : What typically leads to inspiration for you when it comes to writing?

Nothing in particular! Like, there was at least once recently a dream that inspired my for a wishlist thing on Moonshot (which I still wanna write some day, and I’m considering to make my next open on him be about the situation even if that doesn’t really mean it’s any more likely for me to be able to explore the situation but still), and movies or stories or pictures do inspire me for things too, but mostly I think it’s just my imagination and what ‘letting my characters run freely’ there brings up. Hard to explain!

✿ : What’s your stance on self-inserts?

It feels a bit like a weird thing to me, and I don’t know if I quite entirely know all the specifics to the term. I’m not a fan of RPing with ‘real’ people anyway - be it from actual history, or politics or maybe stars or bands or whatever else exists as people RPing them - so I don’t think having someone put a FC around it changes that much?

If it’s a character they can simply connect to a lot, and maybe have some headcanons here and there that would also fit to themselves, that’s a totally different thing I think?

⌚ : When in the day do you feel you do your best writing?

There isn’t really any specific time of day! I usually do most writing during the afternoon and evening, but that’s because it’s how my day is scheduled and not because I can write there best or anything.

♟ : Do you do any research when you roleplay?

Number one - a lot of looking up of english words. There’s a reason why I basically always have a tab of a dictionary open.

And of course, if I’m to write like a poisoning or a certain area being wounded or a specific type of sickness, and if I haven’t researched anything to it or something similar before, I will try to look up a few things. It helps to get a better image of it, I think.

♞ : Which do you prefer, shorter or longer roleplay posts?

I can’t really work with one-liners much, they often feel like no effort had been made, so, longer than that would be good. Outside of that, as long as there’s something I can work with, I think I don’t have much preference towards how long or short is it. Well, I mean, maybe a full-on novel or something would be a bit much as reply xD, but I assume that’s rather unlikely to happen anyway with how RP works.

Or if this is about the length of posts, I can only try to appeal to people again, to please cut their posts, and remove and ask from a continued thread. But I don’t think that that’s what the question is about, so I won’t say more on that here.

♥ : What kinds of characters are the most fun for you to write for?

If you look at my muses, I guess the only answer I can give is: Aliens!

I don’t know, maybe that has to do with confidence. I have other characters too, but when considering to write them I tend to feel uncertain of if I can do certain things or if they work or would be interesting for others, so, I think that’s why my roster so far only exists of tamaraneans.

In general though, I think I tend to enjoy writing characters in a certain ‘good against evil’, or call it maybe action if you want, setting more than casual, everyday life ones, if that makes sense.

💔 : What kinds of characters do you have the most trouble writing for?

First thing that comes to mind here, is ‘sexy’. Like, take Blackfire for example, if I wasn’t as much myself as I am, I bet I’d have her do or say a lot more ‘dirty’ or suggestive stuff. I just can’t write that, and that’s one of the reasons why every now and then I feel like I don’t do Blackfire justice at all.

➳ : When creating OCs, what do you typically start with first? (i.e. appearance, name, a theme, etc.)

I think usually the rough ‘who’ comes first, as in what they do or are for? Like, that was the case with both Moonshot and Starlight, and, though I don’t think anyone actually knows of her since I only made like one post about her ever or so, Kahmlur. Also with most other (= non-tamaranean) OCs I’ve ever made I think. Usually first comes the rough idea, like said, and then I’ll work on details some more, like how I imagine their personality or behaviour. And usually by then already a image starts to form in my mind for their looks, which will then be the next thing to do. An actual detailed backstory usually only comes when I actually want to, like, write them on something public like here I think. Or when I happen to just be bored enough to write one.

Though of course, sometimes it can also happen that I play around in some character creator, and the result inspires me to do an OC out of that look.

♚ : What’s something you just can’t stand and will unfollow someone over?

If it happens too much and too often, a dozen, especially when non-RP, posts almost at all the same time. I get it, they’re online at that moment and want to share stuff or something, but it’s just too much and frustrating to see other stuff through. So yes, if that happens too often, I might end up unfollowing.

🌟 : How do you usually like to start an interaction with someone new, or do you prefer to have them approach you?

When I followed someone first, and they follow me back, I usually take an effort to make myself go to their IMs soon-ish (or asks or whatever if like their rules say they don’t want IMs, or the likes) and just greet them in some way. I try to lead that talk then towards something more, maybe plotting or a random starter or whatever, or at least to asking for how they prefer to start things.

As with those following me first, well, usually I kinda subconsciously wait for them to come to me first. Which… not always happens, and I think I should change that thinking anyway since I should just approach even if they were the first to follow if I want to interact with them too, but uh, that’s just what I do there without actually thinking much about it.

(And as for those I never become mutuals with - I usually don’t reach out there. I’m not confident enough to do that, so if I’m not ending up mutuals with someone, I’ll in 90% of the cases unfollow again once I realize it won’t happen, and the other 10% I’ll keep on my dash because I really like their content, even if it makes me sad that I won’t ever interact with them. And those that I never follow back, I hope I’m having it stated where I can clear enough that I’m still open to them approaching, though of course I have a right to say no in occasions.)

💕 : When it comes to shipping do you prefer to draw things out and let them develop slowly, or do you prefer to jump right into them and skip the developmental stage?

I love the interactions, the deepening of a connection, the admitting of secrets or talking about heavy topics of the past! Not that I have ever had those to write much, but I still love the idea, and so I think I can with rather good certainty say that I prefer the slow developing.

#✫ Tamaran to Earth ✫ | Answered #✫ Out of Clurblopf ✫ | OOC #long post #(and yes I know maybe I should have done it with a cut here bc length but I didn't want to)#nvertoolate

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