#You ain’t ugly you just not hot😔

[calicocrisis]

I like to comment under posts of “he’s so cute 😍😍” with crap like “he prolly takes 30 minutes on the toilet, also he’s ugly as shit”

[newtkive]

shift shenanigans - social media au (pt. 2)

note: yes there’s the main work chat w carmy, the secret coworker chat w/o carmy, and the secret secret bestie chat w syd, marcus, and yourself. it would be canon.

warnings: crude humor, slightly offensive jokes

part one

liked by carmyberzatto, marcus.brooks11 and 40 others

chefboyardee: life lately

see all 9 comments

syd_adamu: that pho was life changing

↳ chefboyardee: i think it was the best i’ve ever had

marcus.brooks11: feet off the table @syd_adamu

↳ chefboyardee: leave my girl alone

↳ richietheking: I knew you guys were lez

↳ syd_adamu: we aren’t and you can’t say that

↳ chefboyardee: oh.. we aren’t? ☹️😔

↳ syd_adamu: 😑

carmyberzatto: 🍲🔥

THE GOLDEN TRIO

[ 7:45 AM ]

y/n: did you see

did you see

did

you

see

ogmgokggkowkfofsk

syd: pardon??

what did richie do oh my god

did he post another picture of him with the gun from that one day

fuckkkk carmys gonna be so mad

marcus: nope i wish

y/n: he commented on my post 😭😭😭😭

syd: who

marcus: think about it

who else would cause this reaction

y/n: carmy!!!!!!!

i woke up to him commenting 🍲🔥 😍😍😍😍

syd: woah and the heart eyes?

y/n: no that’s my addition

syd: the bar is in hell

HES YOUR BOSS

y/n: AND I WANT HIS BABIES??

marcus: y’all so hype to be pregnant THEN BOOOMMM ‼️ THE BABY’S UGLY AND BALD WITH ECZEMA 😩🤨

syd: LMFAOOOOO WHOS YALL THO????

y/n: bye im done

im leaving for work.

don’t talk to me ever again

done.

marcus: bye 👋

why do you leave so early fool

syd: so she can be teachers pet

marcus: smh always there before everyone

y/n: not true.

syd: i thought you weren’t talking to us

y/n: 😒

marcus: want me to bring y’all an iced latte again

y/n: …. 😁

WORK

[ 8:15 AM ]

y/n: AYOOOO

great job cleaning up after work yesterday 😊👍

richie: Is this a joke?

y/n: why would i joke about such a thing

carmy: Y/n what are you doing

y/n: u said to tell everyone their housekeeping is shitty

carmy: No I said I was going to tell them that, and you said no I’ll do it

This is not what I meant

y/n: well you yell too much

marcus: ouch

that’s my station 😔

carmy: Well clean it better

y/n: im using reverse psychology and positive reinforcement

carmy: Not what that means

y/n: well notice how no one’s mad at me

im making alliances day by day

richie: You’ve worked here for two years and we are already friends

y/n: so you’re saying you aren’t my ally

richie: No

We are definitley in an alliance

y/n: love u richie

richie: Don’t go that far

chefboyardee’s instagram stories

WE HAVE THE BEEF 🥩

[ 3:25 PM ]

y/n:

he so fine im bouta cermmmmm

syd: …..

marcus: :O

y/n: why are you acting shocked

like i haven’t said this daily

tina: Woah girl who?

y/n: HUH

richie: I’m not in the picture I don’t get it

syd: let’s just keep working before carmy notices

tina: I don’t care I’m on smoke break. Who are you talking about girl? Spill the tea..

marcus: she was talking about me you guys

y/n: the guy in the back

oh i mean yeah marcus

tina: The meat delivery guy? He has a wife..

y/n: we are having an affair

marcus: no it’s about me

richie: I didn’t know Marcus and Y/n were a thing..

tina: Something ain’t right. No way they are.

marcus: we aren’t it’s just our sense of humor

y/n: i was just being funny!

tina: What did Jeff just yell inside?

syd: came out of the office and said “just cuz we’re slow doesn’t mean you can play on your phones” 👍💯

tina: Whatever. No chance Y/n meant Marcus. You got the hots for Jeffrey?

y/n: what no

tina: Well I wouldn’t blame you. He’s cute

y/n: OMG RIGHTTTTTTT

its the tattoos isn’t it

richie: You have to be fucking joking

tina: I was playing..

y/n: im confused

syd: that was cruel

marcus: who cares it’s not a big deal

y/n: so you don’t think he’s cute tina?? ☹️☹️

tina: No he is cute… for you 😝

y/n: this is humiliating

richie: I’ll tell him

y/n: NO

stop

sSTOP THATS NOT FUNNY

richie im not joking i’ll put a bomb in your floorboards

richie: I’m just fucking with you kid

tina: This isn’t over.

THE GOLDEN TRIO:

[ 3:40 PM ]

syd: y/n….

marcus: you look like a ghost y/n

y/n: i cannot believe i sent that to the wrong gc

i’m done im so done

marcus: stop looking so sad it’s making me feel bad

syd: it’s okay! just be thankful it wasn’t to the work groupchat with him in it..

marcus: true it could be worse

y/n: i guess so

thank you for trying to cover for me marcus

marcus: anytime you know i got you

syd: let’s get back to work before we start looking obvious

[agendabymooner]

line without a hook ! yuki t. x ofc (filo!indie singer!ofc)

“do you like it when i’m away?”

summary: pia ellis misses the boyfriend that everyone thought she made up in her head, and when she vented about it to her fans — who designated themselves as her therapists — and twitter, they begin to wonder who he really is. OR she spiralled a little bit when yuki tsunoda posted photos of his ‘boyfriend’ pierre gasly, but it’s safe to say that he misses her too.

content warning: use of explicit language, ofc and yuki calling each other ‘asshole’ but they love each other, a fairly short one (both of them and the smau fic), short gf 🤝 short bf, yuki and ofc have false user to stalk each other (secret relationship)

note: my first yuki fic but it’s beabadoobee because they lowkey would vibe

masterlist

liked by yukino22, girlinred, taiverdes

taiverdes i think the second one calls for grass touching pia 😭😭 liked by papayapia

papayapia (gr)ass touching*

girlinred have you been drawing him again p? liked by papayapia

papayapia he doesn’t look as good as he does irl 😮‍💨

user1 NOT THE SECOND PIC STAWP

user2 lowk don’t know if i should believe you about the whole bf thing

papayapia i live on my own small world anyways 😔

yukino22 such a dirty mind you have smh

tagged pierregasly

liked by pizzapia, pierregasly, zhouguanyu

user1 my fave couple ever 😮‍💨❤️

user2 i wanna be one of them idc

pierregasly you’re gonna get me in trouble with all of these posts and photos you make of me yuki 😭🤣 liked by yukitsunoda0511

user3 pierre??? what does that mean?

user4 yuki??? our baby??? has a partner???

pizzapia don’t mind me, i’m just waiting for your call here or something 🙍‍♀️

pizzapia u two look cute together. just together tho bc he’d be ugly without you

pizzapia i ship ❤️

tagged papayapia

liked by pizzapia, pierregasly, landonorris

user1 NAW MANS HARD LAUNCHED HIS GF 😭😭 my baby boy is grown up

user2 she’s literally hot and you’d post pierre over her???? bad move tsunoda 🙄

user3 him: ❤️ her: 👍

oscarpiastri god i was ready to scream at you for keeping her a damn secret 🤬

user4 god love oscar piastri and his love for everyone’s gfs 😭😭

pierregasly i’m finally off the hook 😮‍💨😮‍💨

papayapia says who ? 😊🤔 you’re literally on top of my hitlist

papayapia eheh

papayapia i love u yukinooooo ❤️ liked by yukitsunoda0511

yukitsunoda0511 i love u too but answer my facetime calls pls

papayapia on it best friend 🤭🫡

user5 girl weren’t you just tweeting about him? papayapia

papayapia that ain’t me, that’s philomena 😨

[randomcommentary]

Commentary for The Idol Ep. 3&4 🫣

-woke her up out of her sleep to go shopping🫠 I wonder who paying

-Beautiful car but y’all can’t be doing the nasty with the top down

-assistant/bff is over it

-Maximillian Rattail thinks he Kanye dressing homegirl

-not him threading people with this weak ass voice😂

-she letting Rattail fire people and run her house after the first sleepover🧐

-we got the same satin scarf

-oh her chef is fine😏

-not Rattail slapping the fine chef and firing him

-this nigga in a windbreaker and an ugly one at that and telling her she doesn’t have a sense of style

-not having sex in the store lawd…

-this girl is so dumb

-Yas Dee question his ass!!

-they found out the backup dancer can hold a note and gave her song and video away😂

-girl get these cult members out of your house!!

-Sing Dennis Rodman Jr.!!

-they really just using her studio like it’s theirs🙃

-they all look like they stank

-not a family dinner. Baby, u got 2 weeks to make 3 hits and if you don’t the label will drop u!!!!

-Rattail sitting at the head of the table like he bought the house

-girl don’t make that photo for your photo album

-he looked at her like Ike did Tina at this table👀

-not the creative director falling for this bull rattail pushing

-GIRL KICK HIM OUT!!! U don't have to tell this man your business!

-he is not a therapist stop telling your business

-sitting at that table looking how he looking talking about I don't keep secrets from anyone knowing he playing the hell out this woman

-not the mama being abusive and controling I know she somewhere hot

-lawd no wonder Rattail was able to dig his claws into her

-what is going on???

-not abusing her with the same brush her mama beat her with😣

They should have canceled this shit and burned the rest of the episodes

Ep.4

-The weeknd and these random ass songs in these episodes

-not the help saying he got a Napoleon complex

-I knew my girl Dee was going to find out Rattail tea!!

-kidnapping and assault charges!!! Get that man out that house now!!!

-who told him to undo that rattail??

-trust him??? Bitch it's been three days!

-yass Dee going undercover

-I knew chole was underage😔 save her D!!

-a heroin addict as a teenager???!! Lawd

-damn backup dancer got a record deal already!!?

-if you gotta do this fifty shades of Rattail just to lay a track don’t do it in front of a crowd please

-what is going on????

-this is disgusting 🤢

-not the bff thinking the man that’s apart of the cult go think Rattail was wrong for what he did

-oh so this all the clothes Rattail got??

-so joss just telling everybody business

-wannabe Charles Manson ass

-Run creative director!!!

-🫣

-not hogtying this man

-a shock collar???!!!!

-not blaming this man for not outing her mother for being abusive!!

-girl fuck you and ya dead mama

-just fire him and leave him alone

-he told the whole truth about u and ya mammy and you couldn’t handle it

-this man is coked out his mind(push him down the stairs and say he fell)

-she don’t know that man from Adam Dee. He got prison tattoos but she ain’t really worried about the charges cause you think the woman he abused set him up

-telling her to tell the world about her abusive mother to tell some concert tickets...the whole world Craig??? Go tell the world instead of a therapist

-another Coke binge🙃

-bff/assistant need to call everybody at the label call tmz hell call Jenny jones cause I'm tired...

-yass young former heroine addict tell Joss about the setup between the backup dancer and Rattail

-not calling your ex to make Rattail jealous

-not him trying to be intimidating with this annoying ass voice

-he coked out his mind trying to fight

-lawd rattail go beat her ass with that brush for acting like she doesn't know him

-she really doesn't own any clothes that don't look like she works at P-valley

-she loves these Virginia super slim cigarettes

-girl really😒

-not rattail crying outside the door listening to her sleep with her ex

-creative director set the ex up for no reason...i guess he the new member to the cult

Yeah, they made the right decision on ending it early. I hope the last episode 20 minutes long...