#Yes...Yes I did
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Full Analysis/breakdown of the asmodous crystal exchange because the episode broke me and this is how I cope. Warning: long
So the first shot we have is Stolas sitting on his bed in apprehension, then Blitz jumps up on the balcony. Blitz starts the night off like any other, bringing out his bag of sex toys and just speaking in an unworried manner. Yet we have the sad music playing in the background that lets us know this is temporary. It’s NOT a normal night. Stolas knows this too and he’s just quietly watching.
Stolas finally speaks and he stutters at the beginning. This is really happening. He disregards all the other things Blitz brought and instead just asks for the book.
This is when Blitz first starts noticing something is up. We see a quick shot of his smile dropping. He was all worried about Stolas getting bored of him earlier and wanting the book back and now he began to actually think those fears are being proven true. Even if he doesn’t admit it, Blitz has a big fear of not being wanted and just pushed aside, like he has been for most of his life.
So when Stolas admits he needs the book back Blitz panics. His fears are true. He begins to hurriedly speak and makes excuses. This book is his livelihood and the reason for his jobs so it makes sense why he is scared of losing it. He leans in and tries to initiate sex. It works every time with Stolas so why wouldn’t it work now? Stolas begins to grow sad. He does want to have sex with Blitz. But he knows that would be unfair so he gets up.
Blitz is terrified. He desperately begs Stolas for the book. Blitz is being put in a vulnerable situation and he doesn’t like it. His whole life could be destroyed if he can’t keep his business afloat. He wouldn’t be able to support himself and couldn’t support Loona. He would “do anything” to keep it.
But then Stolas shows him the crystal. Stolas presents it to him in a happy tone. He tries to be happy and hopeful even though he is clearly still very worried. Maybe everything will be ok. Maybe Blitz will reciprocate Stolas’s feelings and everything will be great.
Blitz thinks Stolas is joking. He doesn’t understand why Stolas would do this. Now his job is safe but his relationship with Stolas is not. His deepest fears are being proven once more.
He’s not good enough.
He goes into this state of wanting to please.
When Blitz was a child, his dad clearly saw Blitz as the weakling compared with Fizz. And no matter how much Blitz tried to prove himself, it was never enough. “I can do better” is almost juvenile in its phrasing. A desperate plea and promise that might diffuse the situation. Blitz reverts back to his childlike self where he was always last choice and flung aside like he didn’t matter. Imagine how many times he said that exact sentence to his father.
Stolas explains. Stolas actually does a good job of saying what he wants. He is clear and to the point, emphasizing asking what Blitz wants. During Stolas’s speech, Blitz glances back and forth at the crystal, trying to make sense of what’s happening and then at Stolas. Because he does want to stay. He likes Stolas. If he didn’t care, he would've taken the crystal and left, but he didn’t and chose to stay. Stolas finally just finishes his speech by confessing his feelings. He says them in a frantic way; he is putting himself out there but there is hope there too.
Blitz thinks he’s joking. Of course he would be. Why could Stolas actually seriously care for him? How could Stolas care for him? The only possible explanation has to be that Stolas is joking. So he puts on a roleplay because he thinks it’s what Stolas wants. He refuses to accept there may be something more.
Stolas takes this as a mocking rejection. His hope has been squashed. Stolas is so used to being mocked that he immediately takes Blitz’s ‘roleplay’ as Blitz making fun of him. Stolas has been mocked by the people, the other Goatia, Stella. Blitz is just another one to add to the list.
He accepts the supposed rejection and walks away. Blitz now realizes he wasn’t joking. He is legitimately surprised that Stolas would want anything true with him. Blitz has this worldview of nobody truly wanting him; finding him useful, sure, but actually wanting him…that would be impossible. Stolas’s confession is a stark blow to that worldview and it makes sense why Blitz needs time to accept this.
This is where Stolas makes his mistake, he doesn’t give Blitz time to think through this. He takes Blitz’s confusion as rejection, not stopping to consider that Blitz is just as scared as he is. His hope is now totally gone. Both Stolas and Blitz are eerily similar in their fears. They both just want to be wanted but where Stolas shrinks away in sadness, Blitz lashes out.
And that's exactly what Blitz does now. And he doesn’t stop.
He doesn’t want to deal with his own hurt feelings so he instead blames it all on Stolas, to hide the fact that he may be blaming it on himself. The thing is, most of what Blitz says is true. Stolas repetitively called him a plaything and ‘little imp’ so it makes sense why Blitz doesn’t fully believe him. Blitz has always been the inferior one in his relationships. With Fizz, With Verosika, with Stolas, with countless demons. This has caused him this inferiority complex that he can’t escape.
Blitz has tears in his eyes and he is truly breaking down. He has spent so long trying to convince himself that Stolas doesn’t care and now suddenly he does? He still hasn’t actually accepted that Stolas cares for him. He can’t accept that and that makes it all more painful. It has to be some lie or game and he is begging Stolas to stop playing. To stop complicating things because that will force Blitz to think about how he feels.
"Let's go!"
Blitz fully expects Stolas to yell back. he is so used to being in arguments where the other person will lash back as well. And Blitz almost wants this. He believes he deserves it.
But Stolas doesn't...
Instead he takes Blitz sceaming the wrong way. You see this heartbreaking scene of Stolas starting to cry. Stolas has spent his whole life being told to be quieter, be more controlled, less emotional. Him crying in front of someone, rather than alone really emphasizes the hurt he is feeling. And then there is of course the most heartbreaking line: “I didn’t realize you think so low of me”.
Everyone thinks low of Stolas. He is the “pathetic” Goatia prince who is constantly scoffed at and bullied. Blitz was his escape from all of that, but now he believes Blitz thinks the same as everyone else.
But Blitz DOESN’T think low of Stolas. He thinks low of himself.
Blitz realizes he fucked up. He went too far and hurt Stolas.
He realizes that Stolas misinterpreted what he said because Blitz was never really talking about Stolas, he was talking about his own feelings. We can see Blitz actually try to reach out to Stolas. He needs to let Stolas know that he doesn’t think that. You can hear him start to say “I’m sorry-” but as he’s saying that Stolas portals him away.
Blitz “What the fuck” perfectly encapsulates his feelings. He doesn’t understand what happened but he knows that he messed up. Blitz needs to let Stolas know that he actually cares about him and apologize for what he said and Stolas needs to understand that Blitz needs some time.
Blitz never once said that he doesn’t care, only that he doesn’t believe Stolas can.
#helluva boss#helluva boss full moon#helluva boss analysis#analysis#stolas#blitzø#stoliz#stolas x blitz#Full moon broke me#did I really just choose to ignore my responsibilities and write over 1000 words about sad little gay demons#Yes...yes I did#and I will do it again#but in all seriousness these two really need a healthy dose of communication
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EDIT : THIS IS A MEME DO NOT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY (and seriously just don’t be Rude????? Like wtf lol)
#edit : Ok mabsifica shippers yall need to chill like…Wtf????#I saw this on twitter and wanted to take a spin on it#and I know mabifica shipper I hear your pled of putting them in the make sence but unpopular#but- I do not want take away the righfully holder of a yuri to a yaoi couple#also for those who are saying I skipped The Tw*nc*t ship YES I INTENTIONALLY DID SKIP IT- NOW PLS DO NOT TAG MY POST WITH THOSE SHIP NAMES#anyway ford face at the last one makes me laugh lol#(Oh god do I have to tag them individually...)#Gravity falls#Billford#Billstan#stanchez#fiddauthor#Mabifica#Dipcifica#fiddlestan#stanley pines#standord pines#dipper pines#mable pines#pacific northwest#bill cipher#fiddleford mcgucket#soos ramirez#melody gravity falls#robbie gravity falls#Sheriff Blubs#Deputy Durland#tambry gravity falls#tearosepedall
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butch wolverine, anyone?
#just couldn't get her out of my head#should I be working more on my final?#yes#did I have to draw this?#also yes#enjoy#wolverine#butch wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#wolverine fanart#deadpool and wolverine fanart#x-men#my art#fanart#digital art
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advice i think we should tell children is that when adults say stuff like ‘now that i’m an adult i get really excited about stuff like coffee tables and bathrooms and rugs etc’ they don’t mean ‘and now i don’t care about blorbo and squimbus from my childhood tv shows anymore’ bc your average adult still loves all the same pop culture stuff they always did; they just have a greater appreciation for the mundane as well. growing up just means you can enjoy life twice as much now. you can get really excited about a new stuffed animal AND about a new kitchen sponge. peace and love
#peach rambles#you don’t have to get rid of blorbo and squimbus!! they would look great on top of your beautiful new nightstand you’ve been excited about#hall of fame i guess#i get. the sneaking suspicion this post has inspired at least two other posts#to the effect of ‘uhmmm i was ALWAYS excited about these things??’#yes i did have to do my own chores as a kid prommy. i just didn’t have feelings about stuff yet ok
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"people show their true colours in life threatening situations" no, they show you what they act like when they're mortally terrified, an emotion notorious for literally turning your entire brain off to the point where people who go into those situations as a profession need to be literally trained on how to not have that happen
#am i arguing with random 'philosophical' type villains in my own head?#yes#it's a favourite past time of mine i hate every one of those 'i know the true nature of humans because i did horrible things to them' types#with every part of my soul
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License to Kitty.
#dungeon meshi#izutsumi#marcille donato#chilchuk tims#I still stand by my tags on the Izutsumi character study piece I did in January - but I will repeat myself on a few lines here:#I *really* love this character. I love that all of the dungeon meshi crew are complicated and have difficult to love components.#But Izutsumi is a particular kind of hard to love. I foresee a lot of people being turned off by her abrasiveness and lack of teamwork.#She is very self-centered and openly goes against what the party agrees on.#She's a picky eater in a story that is 50% about eating good and healthy food!#It is in part about her growth but admittedly even *then* she remains rather true to her self-centeredness.#Even though she isn't as nice or funny or compassionate as the others...Izutsumi is still someone worth loving.#Even the more difficult people are someone worth loving.#And those people in turn are people who have something and someone they love.#She may be a girlcat but she is the most human of them all.#I hope that if you are an anime only watcher and are feeling put off by her at the moment; you'll give her a chance.#By the way: *yes* I worked very hard to draw that skateboard pose. It was worth it.#EDIT: HAPPY 500th POST OF POORLY-DRAW-MDZS!!! What a comic to commemorate the milestone with!
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hindsight
[ID: A two-panel comic with crudely drawn stick figures.
Panel 1: The lime green person is talking to the leaf green person and the moss green person.
Lime: "I... have a confession to make."
Leaf: "Go ahead."
Lime: "I want to rewatch the Wizard Child movies."
Leaf: "Didn't the wizard author get incredibly chromophobic?"
Lime: "Yeah I just... It's nostalgia you know? They meant a lot to me when I was a kid."
Panel 2: The three are on the couch.
Lime: "All right, let's go."
Leaf: "It's so weird how the wizard author just turned chromophobic though. Like I remember this series being pretty good for its time. It'll be weird seeing their work contrasting with their views now."
Moss: "I'm just glad we got the movies for free through normal and legal means. Heh."
End ID.]
[ID 2: Scenes from three Wizard Child movies.
Wizard Child and the Simplistic Morality: A slightly round child with a propeller hat is talking to a child with no hat.
Round child: "I am so fucking fat and greedy I am textually shown to be fat because I am greedy and also evil."
Hatless child: "You are to infer my moral purity from juxtaposition with this fat child. Woe is me for our shared parent has deprived me of a propeller hat."
Wizard Child and the Goodness of Wealth: An adult wizard is talking to the child, who now has a wizard hat.
Wizard Adult: "Wizard child you are secretly extremely rich."
Wizard Child: "I will form biases regarding the bankers all being triangular for some reason!"
Wizard Adult: "Your wealth is deserved because your true parent was Good and therefore you are also Good."
Wizard Child: "Now we should acquire consumer goods. Buy consumer goods!"
Wizard Child and the Dark Family History: A blue-grey horse person is talking to the wizard child.
Blue-grey: "No, wizard child. You don't understand. I am one of the good ones, because unlike the bad ones I don't try to spread my curse that makes you a blue-grey horselike creature to others!"
Wizard child: "Wow uncle blue-grey you are one of the good ones! I forgive you for being a horse because I am so good I would even forgive horses. I sure hope you don't conspicuously get killed off later in this movie!"
End ID 2.]
[ID 3: Oh hell no there are even more of these.
Wizard Youth and the Tokenistic Relationship Dynamics: A square headed wizard youth is talking to the former wizard child, now a wizard youth.
Square Wizard Youth: "Wizard child, as the only person with a square head in this entire series it is my duty to inform you that you are the savior of all people with square heads, too. Let us build a one-sided relationship that only furthers your character development, after which I will immediately lose all plot relevance."
Wizard Youth: "I will do this because I am a maturing wizard youth and need disposable relationships that don't threaten the endgame!"
Wizard Youth and the Escalation of Stakes: The Dark Wizard, a sort of grey-green person with a cloak, is pointing at Wizard Youth.
Dark Wizard: "Wizard Youth, I have returned!"
Wizard Youth: "Dark Wizard! Why are you green now?"
Dark Wizard: "Evil magic made me green! I am green with envy towards all who are good!"
Wizard Youth: "I will not engage with how you are clearly based on fascist ideologies and yet this narrative plays into fascist aesthetic sensibilities!"
Wizard Youth and the Post-Hoc Revelations: The Wizard Youth is leaning over their Wizard Mentor, who is laying in a pool of blood.
Wizard Youth: "Wizard Mentor no! You can't die!"
Wizard Mentor: "It is fine, wizard youth. My death will further your character development into a wizard adult. Also, I was secretly a very very dark purple this entire time. I never brought it up so I could retain narrative approval.
End ID 3.]
[ID 4: Wizard Adult and the Overdue Conclusion. Three panels. I am sorry.
Panel 1: The dark wizard is dueling the Wizard Adult with magic beams.
Dark Wizard: "Evil green beam!"
Wizard Adult: "Good red beam! Despite the enormous variety of magic in this series this is what our final battle looks like!"
Panel 2: Wizard Adult stands victorious over the dark wizard, who is dying on the ground.
Wizard Adult: "In the end, dark wizard, you were defeated because I am morally superior to you."
Dark Wizard: "I was a product of systemic failures. There will be someone like me again someday!"
Panel 3: Zoom in on wizard adult, who says:
"Not if I can help it. Because I am going to be a wizard cop now. The moral of this story is that all systemic issues can be solved by finding a bad guy to beat."
End ID 4.]
[ID 5: Four panels.
Panel 1: Return to the green trio on their couch, watching the TV say "The End." All are are silent.
Panel 2: They are sitting on the couch. Moss is looking at their phone.
Lime: "Yeah so there were maybe a few signs we missed because we were children."
Leaf: "Yeah. A few. Some."
Panel 3: Continue conversation.
Lime: "So what did you think, Moss?"
Panel 4: Zoom in on Moss, who says: "I've been zoned out on my phone since the second movie. They lost me at the magic stuff. Wizards aren't real."
End ID 5.]
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the worst part about being an adult is thay its no longer socially acceptable to just roll down a really big hill and then run back up it and roll back down again. "oh is this a syphilis metaphor" passerby would ask. "is this for a tick tock". no i just wanna come home covered in dirt and scratches and bask in the the solace of childlike mirth
#m text#everyone rbing this without the addition and commenting 'op did you mean sisyphus' yes. yes i did#'where did the discord screenshot reblog go did you delete it' well in the 10mn after posting it someone had a funnier reblog#so i was like oh. ill delete the less funny one i did for the funnier one#and then. guess what got big.
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What will you be tonight? That’s the question
#fanart#dc comics#art#batman#batfamily#dick grayson#jason todd#redhead jason todd because!!!#stephanie brown#did you see the half a heart? well thats just me and my subtle stephcass agenda#damian wayne#tim drake#robin#robins#nightwing#red hood#yes thats damian feeding the rats yes i think he would
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Guess who is back in their gravity falls phase! (After it being dormant for almost a decade!)
#gravity falls#dipper pines#mabel pines#stanley pines#stanford pines#pines twins#pines family#the pine brothers#bill chiper#the book of bill#billford#yes i read the book#yes i went thru the webite for hours straight#yes i rewatched the show#yes i just got journal 3 and rhe comic bc this fixation is consuming my life again#yes im learning to decipher the codes too now#yes ive been crying nonstop for like two or so weeks straight bc I love this show sm my bags are really bad im starting to look like Ford#book of bill is so toxic old yaoi and i was so along for the ride thru and thru lmao#did i mention that i really reallly love this show?
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Seeing Logan in the TVA makes me laugh so hard for some reason? Like I know he’s lived to see technology evolve and stuff, but there’s something so funny about a guy from the 1800s standing in some kind of retro-futuristic timey wimey agency to me. Man is confused as hell.
like what da hell is a polar bear doin in arlington texas
#ik hes done odder stuff but like i just find this dude placed in random situations funny#i actually need to hear his thoughts during this entire experience#he was just in a bar a second ago#and now hes standing in some kind of interdimensional corporate office thingie#and now hes got pruned and sent to an interdimensional trash can#this old man is having the weirdest three days of his life#did i post this just for logans silly :( face#yes yes i did#love the amount of confused as hell faces logan makes in this movie#deadpool & wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool x wolverine#wolverine#logan howlett#hugh jackman#TVA#deadpool 3#worst wolverine#poolverine
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#atsv#atsv spoilers#smatsv#smatsv spoilers#spider man across the spider verse#spider man across the spider verse spoilers#spider man across the spiderverse#spider man across the spiderverse spoilers#across the spiderverse#across the spiderverse spoilers#across the spider verese#across the spider verse spoilers#YES I DID SEE THIS IN THEATERS FOR A THIRD TIME TONIGHT#WHAT OF IT?!?#LEAVE ME BE 😂#spider man#miles morales#pavitr prabhakar#spider punk#hobie brown#spider gwen#gwen stacy
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The Doctor!
#casting ncuti gatwa as the doctor gotta be one of the greatest casting decisions ever#can't wait to deeply fall in love with him#also yes I did add my cat to yet another doctor who fanart#minka deserves to be the doctor's companion#I think we can all agree on that#this is a different kind of self insert#doctor who#15th doctor#doctor who fanart#15th doctor fanart#doctor who christmas special#ncuti gatwa#my art
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Oh happy days
#my ramblings#8-beat gags returns#manga#Did I only get this for the bay city rollers bit#Yes...yes I did
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They're done: the Forbidden Halftone Brush Pack of your dreams.
Nine free halftone brushes for Clip Studio Paint. I will not be making another set of these so grab 'em now or never. Upload instructions are included in the folder! Thanks for your support! 😭
Past Freebie Brushes | Subscriber Brushes | And My Brush Tag
#my art#patreon stuff#how long did these take: yes#I clocked in to make these and I locked in to make these
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that half-blank, half-apocalyptic look
"i can b ur angle or yuor devil" etc etc "get a man who can do both" etc etc
obsessed with this vamp i think he should get to do whatever he wants forever
#my art#interview with the vampire#iwtv#amc iwtv#armand#armand iwtv#scopophobia cw#in s1 the look on 'rashid''s face when daniel asks where hes from is so carefully and calculatedly innocent i like it a lot#then ofc in 2x05 the actor for armand enters what is medically referred to as sicko mode#whats his name actually hold on#assad zaman#goood stuff#what can i say this show is candy for my brain#v funny how armand was literally Just A Guy in the first season but season 2..... holy fuck#i want 100 more episodes of this freak#yes he did all that and i stand with my cancelled wife
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