#Yes they're all Weirs and yes they're Doctors

[spockvarietyhour]

Will the real Doctor Weir Please stand up?

Bonuses:

[dr-futbol-blog]

The Storm/The Eye, Pt. 4

Finally, the Genii arrive at Atlantis with Acastus Kolya at the helm. With Robert Davi acting, it's rather on the nose how much the events of the story follow the plot of Die Hard with Kolya as Hans Gruber and Sheppard as John McClane. And, as I mentioned the polysemic storytelling used by the series, the role of Holly Gennero is played by both McKay and Weir.

McKay and Weir are captured by the Genii almost immediately.

They're clever enough to keep their communicators on so that Sheppard can eavesdrop on the discussion. McKay is clearly frightened, even more so than Weir because he actually has experience of these people from before, but he's not about to give them anything that would jeopardize Sheppard (not even his own name, confirmation of which Sora provides for Kolya). Rodney is a brave little toaster but he's way in over his head. You can see by the minute tilt of his chin that he just entered What Would Sheppard Do? zone, he's trying to navigate the situation the way he thinks John would.

The fact that Weir responds verbally to Kolya's inquiry about his identity and McKay does not but is recognized anyway is exactly how the entire scenario plays out main text / sub text wise. We are verbally told: Elizabeth, from contextual cues we are able to interpret: Rodney.

We actually cut from Sheppard's reaction to what he just overheard to the storm brewing outside. Because if he was frightened of the storm and what it might do to this newly found home at the beginning of the episode, he's now terrified.

In the Genii home world when they were held hostage, McKay and Sheppard both attempted to keep the other safe in their own ways, and they continue doing just that here. Sheppard is using his military training, McKay is using his brain (and Weir is using her skills as a negotiator). McKay is trying to convey information that Sheppard could use by "accidentally" leaning on the communication panel but at the same time, he's letting him know that they are both still alive and unharmed. It's notable that all of the characters are lying to keep each other safe. They are saying counterfactual things in the hopes that the others might be spared.

Also notable: Kolya is smart enough to know that they are lying.

McKay seems to realize that he has no experience in dealing with the kind of sociopath Kolya is but he tries his best. He's being careful not to antagonize them unnecessarily and is also lying about the most important things.

Kolya has figured out that McKay is too important to be there. There must be a reason why he stayed behind. The Genii clearly recognize his importance on a lot of fronts, the least of them not being that he's the one that knows how to use the C4 to build an A-bomb which is something that the Genii don't know how to do. He would go as far as to injure McKay but it's doubtful he ever had intention of killing him.

But even under physical torture, he didn't give up Sheppard. The Genii only learn that Sheppard is in fact in the city through the radio he left in the armory himself. The only reason he gives out the plan to save the city is that he has such faith in Sheppard. This is why he looks guilty when Kolya and Sheppard have this exchange:

Kolya: Your offer is very generous, Major. Sheppard: Yes, it is. Kolya: However, Doctor McKay recently shared with me there's a plan in action to save the city. Sheppard: He did?! Kolya: He did.

Like, McKay overhears this and thinks that he's disappointed Sheppard; as though Sheppard is expressing surprise that he would do such a thing. The last thing McKay wants is to let the Major down. What their exchange is actually about is Kolya letting Sheppard know that he has hurt McKay enough to get information out of him, and Sheppard gets this.

And Sheppard's plan is to rescue them. He hides the thing that he knows the Genii care most about, the thing they can't do without, it being the C4. He's holding the most important thing to the Genii ransom because he hopes that this will be enough for him to get back the most important thing to him. Everyone is attempting to find the leverage and use it.

Knowing that Sheppard has walked into an ambush, even though he is afraid McKay tries to help him the only way he can which is by pointing out that something is invaluable (reminding them that they might break the only thing that can save the city if they start shooting at him). Likewise, Sheppard only went to the grounding station with the hope that doing what the Genii asked would keep Weir and McKay safe. And boy is McKay relieved to hear the Sheppard managed to dodge the ambush:

Note that it's McKay's reaction we get to this, and his alone.

Now, Sheppard makes the mistake of mentioning McKay because he just can't keep him out of his mouth. When you're thinking about something or someone, it's going to come out of your mouth. He tells Kolya that he's going to get "an earful from McKay for" his soldiers breaking the controls to the grounding station, and then this very thing actually happens. What he actually did was to demonstrate to a really intelligent sociopath that he knows McKay pretty damn well. Too well. And that he cares about him because damn, if that didn't signal familiarity between them.

Starting to play hardball, Kolya tells Sheppard "Say good-bye to Doctor Weir". But note that he actually looks at McKay just before he says this, thinking about something. Kolya and Sheppard are playing a game with extremely high stakes.

Now, it seems like Kolya threatening Weir is too much for Sheppard. It's the mention of Weir that throws him off the edge, right? Makes him threaten to destroy to whole city if he hurts her. Weir, and not McKay. Easy, heteronormative reading. That's what they say, after all.

The thing is, we've seen before that Sheppard is both a strategic thinker and (especially in Underground, S01E08) that especially when it comes to the Genii, he thinks that the less information they have about them, the better. He lied about the number of puddle jumpers they have. He was willing to let them know that they have a ship, but not that they have many ships. He stopped McKay from spilling the beans on how much weaponry they have. Each and every one of the characters have been lying through their teeth all through the ordeal to keep each other safe.

Kolya is likewise a strategic thinker. He's trying to figure Sheppard out. He has two hostages and he's trying to find out how he can use them for leverage. He knows all of them are lying.

Some people watch the episode and come to the conclusion that Sheppard cares about Weir the most because Kolya threatens her and he loses it. And like, he doesn't mention McKay so he must not care about him as much as he does about Weir. But it is precisely because McKay is the one he cannot and will not lose that he plays it out as though Weir is the one he cares the most about here. Giving the enemy that kind of leverage like revealing the thing you actually can't live without would be stupid. And Kolya figures it out anyway.

Sheppard tells him that if he hurts Weir, he would rather blow up Atlantis with all of them in it, indicating to him that Weir is the one he cannot afford to lose. Anything you do, just please don't kill her. And yet we end the episode with Kolya telling Sheppard that he is about to kill one of the two, and he's not telling him which. Having just glanced at McKay before he decided to test Sheppard out by threatening Weir by name.

Why would he do that? If Kolya believed that Weir was the one Sheppard cared most about like he indicated to Kolya, why would he not simply use the leverage Sheppard had just (on purpose) given him? Why suddenly be vague about which it's going to be?

Because Kolya can play 4D-chess too. And it's when Kolya tells Sheppard that he is going to kill one of them and he does not know which that is going to be that Sheppard actually capitulates, not when he threatened to kill Weir a moment ago. Notice that Sheppard was still relatively cool and level-headed when Kolya was just threatening her life; when her life was on the line, he was still negotiating with Kolya. But suddenly he loses it.

Note that while he's shouting throughout this dialogue because he's outside in the storm trying to get his voice heard, his tone of voice changes throughout:

Kolya: You killed two of my men. Sheppard: I guess we're even! [flippant] Kolya: I don't like even. Sheppard: I'm not finished yet! [bravado] Kolya: Neither am I. Say goodbye to Doctor Weir. Sheppard: The city has a self-destruct button. You hurt her, I'll activate it. Nobody'll get Atlantis. [still calmly negotiating, able to formulate a plan of action] Kolya: Even if it exists, Major, you need at least two senior personnel to activate it -- and I'm about to take one of them out of the equation. Sheppard: Kolya?! Kolya?! I'll give you a ship! I'll fly it out of here for you myself! KOLYA!! [suddenly desperate]

Sheppard is willing to do anything and say anything to keep McKay safe. The man he's fallen in love with. His home. The person he cares so much for that a stranger he's known for all of five minutes was able to figure it out and use it against him. Threatening Weir wasn't the thing that pushed him over the edge, it was not knowing which one the gun was pointed at and the fear that Kolya had figured him out, had his ticket.

This is when Kolya made himself into Sheppard's mortal enemy. And it's notable that in every one of their subsequent encounters, Kolya knows to use McKay to get to Sheppard.

Continued in Pt. 5

[trainofcommand]

potential au: lorne is on the daedalus expedition, sent out 5 years after the first atlantis expedition stepped through the gate to pegasus, on a mission to find out what happened and if there's anyone left.

OMfreakingG. I love this idea. So much.

Lorne isn't commanding the Daedalus, but he will be commanding the ground team if/when they find Atlantis. All he knows about Atlantis - all that anyone knows - is that the expedition radioed that they'd made it, everything looked good, and they'd be in touch. They were never heard from again.

Post-Ori, the SGC is limping along a little bit. The Ori are defeated, but it took a toll, and rebuilding is going to take time. Lorne was glad to take the expedition offer, because sure, he could help with that rebuilding, and he knows he should, but he's not sure he wants to. Atlantis is a risk, a pipe dream, a distraction. Lorne tries not to think about exactly how many people the SGC lost, how many people Earth lost, and what it might have been like if they'd had an ancient city with them, or at least as a safe-haven for evacuees.

Sometimes, on quiet moments on the trip, when he looks at Vala Mal Doran and she doesn't see him looking, he can tell she tries not to think about it too much either.

(She does see him looking, and she lets him see it, because yes, she's good at pretending she doesn't miss things she's lost, and yes, she'd made it clear (loudly) that she was joining the expedition for the possibility of treasure and new, shiny things, but that's not the reason. And she's fairly certain Lorne knows that).

None of them are prepared for what they find. They think they're ready for destruction, or a city limping along, more missing comrades and more losses. They're ready for tales of woe, for anger, for desperation and desolation. They're ready with supplies, and explanations, and a way back home. Instead, what they find is...confusing. It's a city, rough around the edges, but impossibly beautiful and intact. It's personnel they recognize from the past, or from dossiers. And when John Sheppard and Elizabeth Weir greet them on a bright pier of the shining city - in a style of clothing that Lorne's never seen, and that doesn't match anything in any dossier he read - he has questions. So many questions. But he says, "Major. Doctor. I'm Colonel Evan Lorne. General O'Neill sends his compliments on behalf of Stargate Command. We're here on a resupply or rescue mission," and he expects relief, or questions about Earth. He expects anything except for puzzled expressions and a wary exchange of glances between Sheppard and Weir. It's silent, awkward, for too long, and Vala is shifting beside him, uncharacteristically silent. Finally, Dr. Weir says, her tone pleasant and mildly curious. "Welcome to Atlantis, Colonel Lorne. Forgive me for asking, but would you mind explaining what Stargate Command is? Or where it is?"

[7-wonders]

theres an episode of doctor who the first one when it came back of rose researching the doctor and she finds badly photoshopped pictures of the doctor at various historical events and i think it'd be so funny with hob

his students find pictures in history of him but they're such bad quality they think they are fake or students who research folklore and find the picture of hob and dream and how they look like professor gadling and that weirs goth guy he hangs out with and hob is just annoyed because they don't look alike at all!

God I love Doctor Who (I stopped watching when Peter Capaldi took over)

But yes local cryptid Hob Gadling just keeps somehow getting caught in moments of history even though he tries his hardest to avoid cameras. You know the picture of Lincoln’s second inauguration, the one that John Wilkes Booth is captured in?

This one? Yeah Hob is two rows behind him.

The coronation of Napoleon and Josephine?

Hob saved Napoleon’s life (on accident) during a battle, so he unfortunately got invited, and one can’t not turn down an invitation from the emperor.

He’s in pictures from suffragette rallies (because obviously he supports women’s rights, Eleanor would haunt him if he didn’t), paintings of audiences at the Globe (he was curious, okay?), he’s almost out of frame in the famous VJ Day in Times Square picture, he’s one of the men in that picture of workers sitting on a beam above a skyscraper.

He is the unluckiest immortal in history; though he tries so hard to stay on the down low and out of historical events, he somehow gets caught up in them all the time. Really, the only reason he hasn’t been caught is because the photos are bad quality or the artist took just enough liberty (thanks to him basically being a pedestrian passing through) that his facial features are vague in portraits.

(I have an idea that’s been rumbling around in my noggin where you’re Hob’s TA and, since he’s a history professor, you start seeing this patterns during research for his lectures or fact-checking. Cue a very awkward confrontation where you simultaneously need to know answers/want to assure him that his secret is safe with you.)

[mushroom-through-the-stargate]

ok buckle up because I'm going to go on a Stargate Atlantis gush so long I'm not going to bother turning it pink

this series is EXACTLY WHAT IVE BEEN NEEDING ok ok listen yes it has scary monsters and fight scenes and blowing stuff up BUT it also has substantial fluff

we get to see the characters making a home in small ways from a favourite food in the cafeteria to rc car races in an unused hallway

THEY CALL THEMSELVES A FAMILY THATS MY LIFELINE A FOUND FAMILY CALLING THEMSELVES A FAMILY

the words "we can't tear this family apart" in life threatening situations give me life and they are said a bunch of times

the creators hate killing characters off as much as we hate losing them so a lot of mc deaths get "well, actually"d in a way that made sense (such as getting really upset that my fave Carson died only to have his clone be rescued half a season later and be reintegrated into the mc circulation)

and the series finale was AMAZING. spoiler alert skip this paragraph if you don't wanna read details about the finale. it gave a reasonably hefty threat for a finale, but everyone survived (other fave Ronan got well-actually'd and I'm thankful because he's the teddy bear protector and I would've cried) and found a home. atlantis is on earth, the family is together, and it ends with the well-loved all mc's are on a balcony overlooking a beautiful view and saying that theyre each other's home and there are always going to be other adventures. - end finale spoilers -

even the bad guys are personified. you mightve seen my post about Todd, and Todd is The Original Funnyman. this guy has the best sense of humour in the whole show. then there's Michael, and you feel for him. the replicators... uhh... yeah most of the replicators are unremarkable personality-wise, but hey they're robots.

now for mc's. this is a no-rodney mckay-hate blog, so if you say anything hateful about him I'll stab u. yes he's arrogant and a know-it-all and he thinks he's better than everyone and has the social skills of a stale cracker BUT he has GROWTH and is slowly RECOGNIZING AND TRYING TO TREAT PEOPLE BETTER and he's My Boi so fite me 9/10

Sheppard is hilarious and is responsible for the awful placeholder names for individual wraith. he has serious Burnt Out Gifted Kid Vibes and is definitely smarter than he lets on. atlantis crew is definitely the first Family he's had and feels safe with. I love him 11/10

Teyla is awesome and would absolutely kill for her adopted earth family. also turns out to be Best Mum 10/10

Ronan. my beloved puppy Ronan. played by the absolute unit that is Jason mamoa. he is a man of few words and many guns. atlantis crew saved him and he's the last of his people and now the base is His Home. Sheppard calls him "chewie" affectionately and Ronan smiles every time. 20/10 I would absolutely feel safe with him around

Dr Carson beckett. a Scotsman who will even try to heal his enemies. besties with Rodney McKay and keeps him in check. he's so lovable and sweet 11/10 his clone goes away for the Pegasus galaxy version of doctors without borders 9/10 I'm just glad he's back

Radek zelenka. his most common subtitle is [mutters in Czech] he's so soft and squishy I love him. he shares a braincell with Rodney and they finish each other's sentences it's like they're very competitive twins 10/10

Elizabeth weir. not quite the Mum but definitely the Older Sister In Charge. I miss you so much. rip 11/10

there are a lot more that I love but I'm just gonna leave it here. you should absolutely go watch it.

[andswarwrites]

Day 18

While I have nothing against Star Trek and Star Wars, I feel like they're so "mainstream" as far as science fiction goes that you are expected to hand in your sci-fi nerd card if you don't love either or both.  So when I tell people I like science fiction, I'm expected to be a fan of either franchise. I grew up watching Voyager, so my first captain was Janeway.  I also knew the crew of the original series thanks to the movies which I watched with my family.  After I married S-, he and I watched a few seasons of The Next Generation.  Ah yes, and more recently we watched Picard, but only the first season.  That about sums up my experience with the Trekking of Stars.

As for Star Wars, I watched Episodes 4, 5 and 6 as a teenager when my parents rented them for me from the library.  I had expressed an interest in seeing them.  I enjoyed them, but I didn't get completely absorbed into the universe as I later would with Stargate, and I didn't watch the story unfold with amazement as I would when I watched Babylon 5.  I was not impressed with Episodes 1 to 3, especially not 3; I preferred Genndy Tartakovsky's Clone Wars mini series (2003).  I've played Star Wars as a tabletop game, I've read some of the fiction, and I am such a fan of The Mandalorian that the theme song is my ring tone.

I also enjoyed the quirky randomness of Doctor Who from Doctors 9 to 11. BBC made a movie called An Adventure in Space and Time (2013) which tells the story of how this incredible show came about.  On my to-do list is to watch all of the 26 seasons of the original run from 1964 to 1989.  If you think that is an overwhelming objective, I also want to watch every single episode of One Piece. A girl can dream. 

I'll make the argument that I became a science fiction lover thanks to books, more than anything. When I first read the Foundation series, and then the robot-themed short stories by Isaac Asimov, I was hooked.  Cities in Flight by James Blish, Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card, more recently The Martian by Andy Weir: these are books that make me forget what planet I'm on.  I know technically science fiction is a genre that is supposed to be speculative in its nature, positing how society would be affected if a certain technology existed.  As far as I'm concerned, whether it's set in the future or in space, if it takes me on a fantastic voyage (see what I did there?) I call it sci fi.

When S- bought the boxed set of Firefly and had me watch it while we were dating, he did not know how those fourteen episodes were going to affect me.  For a while, I watched the whole series over with every new season, so that was four times a year.  It got that I could recite entire scenes, playing each character in turn, with the proper inflection in the dialogue and even matching facial expressions.  It's been a while since I watched Firefly, but I'm planning to watch it this summer with N-.  I can't wait to see her reaction.

What I loved about Lost in Space is that it was about a family, and how each one of them was equipped with a separate set of skills, but when they combine those skills they can overcome so much together.  I don't really enjoy boiler plate stories.  In fact, one of the reasons I had terrible writer's block in my twenties is the concept that "there is nothing new under the sun".  Yet.  Every individual is unique, right?  So every storyteller, even if they are telling the same story, has the ability to make it their own and share their own unique perspective.

I could go on about all the science fiction books, shows and movies I enjoy, but I think the point has been made.  I don't consider myself an "expert" by any means.  I just know what I like, and I am not embarrassed or intimidated.  I like a story that doesn't take itself too seriously.  I like well-rounded characters with a little angst.  I like a setting that can absorb me completely into another time and/or place.  I especially love a mind-blowing twist, or a  heartwarming denouement or a thought-provoking conclusion.

So I've made my case.  As far as I'm concerned, I'm a science fiction fan. I may be a tepid fan of Star Wars and Star Trek, but I still get to proclaim my love of sci fi.  In French there is a saying "les gouts ne sont pas a discuter" - tastes are not to be discussed.  Even so I like to discuss them.  I always have.  If I meet someone who hates or loves certain media as much as I do, I have the nerdiest response: I gesture emphatically, my voice goes up a pitch, I express my enthusiasm at having found a kindred spirit.

I'm not limited to science fiction.  I like historical fiction, fantasy, coming of age stories.  I'm a major fan of comedies, though a lot of the shows I like can actually be classified as dramedies.  And I simply love animated movies.  I have since I was a kid, and the love has never faded, in fact it has only deepened.  I wonder if I'll always be this intense fangirl, with passion and fire for what she likes?  I recently went to the movies and I saw a group of guys standing around, discussing easter eggs and certain scenes, and making predictions about sequels.  I remember doing that.  I still do, in the car on the ride home with S-.  I guess he's my favorite person to talk to about this topic, because he knows me so well and it's always safe to share my point of view.

It's interesting, I feel more self conscious about sharing on this topic than I did about anything else this month.  I think I've got something very backward here.

[qqueenofhades]

Overall I liked priory of the orange tree, but there were definitely storylines I liked more than others. It’s been quite a while since I read it, but I remember not really caring one way or another about the one main guy that much and I really did not care about the doctor guy. Do you like sci fi books?

I do like sci-fi overall, though I can tend to be selective about it. For example, I adore space operas with all my heart, and that genre alone can cover a multitude of sins, but sometimes the writing or world-building or character work isn't quite good enough to hold up the grand theoretical concepts that the author wants to explore otherwise, especially when they're getting really abstract or philosophical. I did enjoy the entire Expanse series enough to read all eight very long books (or nine, can't remember, but yes, a lot of them). I liked some of them more than others, but overall, yes.

In the same genre, I've also quite liked Winter's Orbit by Everina Maxwell, Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir, and some others I can't remember now. I had high hopes for A Big Ship at the Edge of the Universe by Alex White, but it wasn't quite as engaging as it tried to be, though I did finish it. Adrian Tchaikovsky's Shards of Earth was likewise in the enjoyable-enough-to-finish category, and I might check out the next one in the series. (He's also written some well-regarded other stuff that I may or may not look into.) I also read Dune for the first time this year, which, while it wasn't totally groundbreaking for a reader in 2022, you can definitely see why it revolutionized the sci-fi game in the 1960s. I've also been recommended Becky Chambers' A Long Way Down to A Small Angry Planet (I think that's the title) which I will get around to checking out eventually.

Anyway, yes, I do like the genre, I'm willing to test out most of what looks interesting, and I always enjoy the way you can explore big themes of eternity, time, space, death, and humanity's ultimate purpose (see why Interstellar makes me cry so damn much). But yeah, sometimes authors think that a fancy or complicated setting alone will make it interesting, and I always like them to do a little more.

[starrybouquet]

So obviously I love Sam and Daniel and Teal'c a LOT. like a lot a lot. Maybe not quite as much as Jack but a lot more than a lot of other characters. And everyone tells me that seasons 9 and 10 are worth a watch? But sorry all I see is Sam getting objectified and made fun of for being a geek and Daniel turning into Indiana Jones and I am so not here for either of those things?

But that's not what it's like! you say. Okay, so sure, Sam gets to be snarky. But only because it feels like she's no longer respected for her scientific knowledge. She's snarky because it's the only underhanded way she has to win the arguments, and nobody's defending her, they're all arguing with her. It's not a discussion, it's a "haha that's a funny idea miss scientist but we all know better" vs "I know my stuff!" argument. And I'm sorry, but was that *ever* the case with Jack and Hammond? No. Jack sometimes didn't get things. Sometimes Hammond would say "I'm sorry, Congress won't pay for that" or they would ask her to explain it again. But despite all his grumblings, Jack respected Sam's science. Hammond did too.

It's not that I think Cam and Landry are bad people. They just aren't really people I feel like I can admire.

And Atlantis! Atlantis! It's true - I'm bitter about what happened to Elizabeth, so I'm predisposed to dislike post-Weir Atlantis the same way I'm predisposed to dislike post-Jack SG1. And yes, it's great that we see another woman in charge, and it's Sam who is of course a strong character to start with. That's wonderful.

I also hate it.

Yup, I said it. Sam in Atlantis makes me sad because it is completely at odds with the character I'd like her to be.

I'm trying to put it into words, but it's just making me cry instead, so I'm gonna be entirely incoherent. Basically, it has something to do with how she seems to do a 180 from science over the "classic" military path (she has a PhD!) to trying to rise through the ranks as fast as possible.

I'd like to think that one of Sam's favorite parts of SG1 is how she can do both the military and the science. I think it's a disservice to her to make her character a one dimensional Colonel instead of the wonderful scientist Captain/Major/Lt Col Doctor we got to know over the years.

I'm not explaining well enough, and now I'm crying so I won't be getting into my poor baby Daniel. I know, I know, it's just a TV show and I can headcanon whatever I like, dammit. Sorry. It's been a long week.

(if you'd like to reblog or reply, feel free, but please try to be somewhat civil, because as you can see I am not in a great state of mind and this is undoubtedly not very well argued)

[dr-futbol-blog]

Hot Zone, Pt. 3

Teyla, who has been quietly observing Sheppard's behaviour the whole time finally speaks up while they're putting on hazmat gear. It's clear that she doesn't agree with Sheppard's actions or decisions but follows him out of loyalty. This is probably the first time since hearing the alert that he actually stops to think about what he's doing.

He tries to make amends with Weir by contacting her via intercom and making it seem as though he's ready to take instructions from her (putting on the hazmat gear is also a way of trying to show that he is taking the situation seriously). She's not ready to forgive him but gives them direction anyway since the milk has now been spilled and they all still have a city to save. But she's deeply, deeply offended by what just happened.

Note that Sheppard still makes it clear that this is all about Peterson (and hence, about doing what McKay needed to get done): "Doctor Weir, this is Sheppard. Teyla and I are ready to head out. What's Peterson's location?"

They head straight for him. He's not wasting any time. Again, this is not that he just feels like he needs to do something, it's that he has a very specific mission and a clear reason for wanting to complete it: McKay needed this thing done. And they do find Peterson in short order. It's unlucky for him, because Sheppard was never going to let him get to the city. Sheppard even tells him that he doesn't have a choice. Peterson seems convinced that they would never shoot one of their own but, then, he has little idea of how important this seems to be for Sheppard. He's willing to stop this man with any means necessary.

Not only that, but Sheppard's plan was clearly to take this man back to the ancient viral lab and Beckett's field hospital -- and where McKay was. It's only when Peterson offers to go to the medlab instead and self-quarantine there that Sheppard hesitates. It's a reasonable thing to ask but it's not what he had been intending to do. He contacts Weir to run it by her, likely also wanting confirmation from McKay that he'd have no objection to this, and it's this hesitation that allows Peterson to try to escape. Sheppard does very much shoot him instead of allowing this to happen, but the wounded Peterson manages to transport to the city, and things go from bad to worse.

Atlantis goes into a real, proper lock-down as the result of detecting the virus on Peterson who managed to transport to the Mess Hall.

In the ancient viral lab, McKay is starting to show more symptoms of having contracted the virus. He confesses to Beckett that he has been seeing things for the past hour already. What's worse, they found "our guy" in the Ancient database so now they know what to expect. Visual hallucinations followed by an aneurysm. He seems to be dying in very short order, or so it looks like. The reason he probably hadn't said anything up until now was because he was trying to show exemplary leadership, to do what he thinks the Major would have done. He was too busy trying to save everyone else to worry about himself.

The fact that he has been concerned for other people and not himself is emphasized by how, when asked about who would be next, he replies: "Me. She ran into Hays… and me. We're next." He still puts his colleague before himself.

McKay doesn't want to die. He very much wants to keep living. They have the following exchange:

McKay: Is this really necessary? I am about to die of a brain aneurysm -- how does being attached to a heart monitor help? Beckett: If you die like the others, we'll have a better idea of how. McKay: At that point, I will cease to care. Ford: There are a lot of other people that live in the city, man. McKay: Yes, the living.

Yes, he's complaining. He is likely very afraid and trying to cope, coming across callous and self-centered. But his face betrays that he's not as uncaring as his words would have you believe. Ford just reminded him of Sheppard, and you can see a flicker of pain on his face, how his breathing got heavier at the thought. He clearly had more of a rant coming on but he suddenly swallows the rest of it and falls quiet. And to emphasize the connection, we transition directly from his line "the living" to Sheppard and Teyla.

Something rather interesting happens with Sheppard and Teyla. They continue advancing on the hallway, and the city seems to have stayed open for them and them alone. Now, they speculate that it is because they are in hazmat suits and the city senses that they are not potential carriers of the pathogen and hence allows them to advance. It's really unlikely that the city would have any understanding of human made hazmat suits and it's doubtful the hazmat suits would have done anything to stop a mechanical pathogen anyway. The technologies aren't easily compatible.

It's teased especially early on that the Ancient gene makes Sheppard somehow different. I'll return to this question with the following episode but this may be an example of that. The city stays open for him because he carries the gene. The only other person with the actual gene wasn't even trying to go anywhere so we never get confirmation for this. But regardless, they are the only ones able to move freely and they contact Weir.

She's still salty.

Sheppard: Weir, this is Sheppard. Were you able to get the transporters online or not? Weir: Doesn't look promising. Atlantis itself seems to have somehow sensed a threat and taken over most of the controls. Sheppard: So it shut down the transporters? Weir: That's right. Sheppard: Well, I wish we would've thought of that. Weir: We did think of that, Major. That entire section had to be powered up for you to open the door to Peterson. In fact, if you hadn't gone after him, he wouldn't have been able to use the transporters. D'you still feel it was a good idea? Sheppard: Where'd he transport to? Weir: The Mess Hall. Thankfully everyone else respected the quarantine -- there's only a handful of people there. Sheppard: Alright, you've made your point.

So, he messed up. He knows that he messed up. His insistence on going after Peterson is what caused things to go from bad to worse. He's already blaming himself and then, because she's feeling put-upon, she just rubs it in further. He also did nothing to help McKay. This is all relevant to what he ends up doing later.

Elsewhere, McKay witnesses yet another member of his team die a terrible death believing that he will follow right after. Ford asks him how he's feeling, very obviously referring to his physical symptoms but McKay seems to understand the question as asking how he's feeling, and he's unable to put it into words. He's feeling too many things, he doesn't even know where to start.

Instead, he focuses on a problem (he has a sister who should know he's died but does not know how anyone could contact her) and giving them directions on how to solve it. It's meant to be a humorous moment when he tells them to lie to her about his death having been heroic as though he hadn't been doing one heroic thing after the other ever since joining the mission.

But it's interesting that, again, we return to the topic of kids. Children is what his subconscious decides to dig up during what he thinks will be his final moments. Family. He doesn't want to die, he wants a family and he wants children.

He doesn't contact Sheppard (for some reason, they have not been communicating to each other directly at all; and technical reasons aside it very much seemed like both had things they wanted to accomplish before contacting the other). He doesn't mention Sheppard. Even when they were both in the same room in a "situation of certain doom" at the end of The Eye (S01E10), neither had any final words, any final good-byes, to the other. It's not because they don't care or think of the other, it's because it's too much. It's too heavy. He wants to spare Sheppard this (and we actually get to see what happens the one time he tries to say good-bye in The Shrine, so; good-byes between them are not on the table, especially not when they think it's for real).

But note that when his mind is on family, and before it goes on to kids, he mentions someone. "She's the only family I really have, so someone should tell her what happened. Tell her, I... died saving someone." His eyes are searching for a memory when he says this, he's thinking of something specific, someone specific he wants to do the duties of the widower. He referred to Sheppard as someone before in this very same episode. Much, much, much later (Tao of Rodney, S03E14) we learn that he wants Sheppard to be the one to read his eulogy, to scatter his ashes from a puddle jumper. Because in time, the process currently very much on-going, John Sheppard does become the closest thing he has to a family. But this, here, is when he starts realizing that that's something he actually wants for himself. He wants Someone.

Continued in Pt. 4

[dr-futbol-blog]

Home, Pt. 4

Sheppard and Teyla continue exploring what is basically Sheppard's mind. They have this exchange:

Teyla: What is it? Sheppard: I was just thinkin' again -- about Doctor Weir and everyone else on Atlantis. Teyla: Of course. I am sure she is fine -- as I am sure they are all fine. Sheppard: Yeah, I'm sure.

This once more confirms that they all have different realities: Weir is still back on Atlantis on his. But this is also an example of something we see multiple times later: Sheppard cares so much about Rodney that he's unable to put it into words. to verbalize it, but Teyla, being both observant and empathic, figures it out anyway.

There are several times when Sheppard talks about some heavy emotional stuff and just tacks Rodney on as though he's an afterthought ("Even Rodney") because he just can't deal with the thought of losing him. He's using humour, he's using sarcasm, he's using flippancy, he's using any and every technique he can to distance himself from the fact that he is actually the one called to constantly put someone he loves Rodney in danger and this fear is certainly not lessened by the fact that he loved and lost someone who served under him (Capt. Holland, as we learn in Phantoms, S03E09) for which he very much blames himself.

Viewers that don't understand what Sheppard is doing probably get whiplash from Sheppard and McKay being best friends one moment and Sheppard talking about him to other people like he doesn't even care the next. Oh, he cares ("Deeper than words, my friend, deeper than words"), he cares so much that he has to try to trick cruel fate into leaving McKay alone by talking about him like he doesn't. Like not admitting it would keep his guilt-laden ill fortune, the bad karma of past mistakes, from getting someone he loves killed. Again.

Here, he's unable to speak Rodney's name ("and everyone else"). But Teyla, being the empath that she is, picks up on this and tries to alleviate his fear with "I am sure they are all fine".

He looks so goddamn sad.

Here he is, back home with a beautiful woman with everything a man could ever want. And he looks like he would rather be anywhere else.

The fact that we transition from this conversation directly to McKay just confirms that Weir was not who he was actually thinking about, who he was worried for.

Sheppard's frat party with the dead friends and former crushes is interesting. We see Sheppard watch a bikini-clad hot woman dive in the pool and yet he's clearly more comfortable inside, fraternizing with the dead soldiers, and all the other dudes out and about. Who are all these people? Likely, they're all people from his past. There's his sixth grade teacher (and who hasn't had a crush on a teacher?), there's someone that wouldn't date him whose name he can't even remember. Likely he hasn't invented any whole-ass people but filled the room with people from his memories.

Also? We are lead to believe he is pointing at this woman in the pink tank top as the person who wouldn't date him because she is the only woman in the frame and she's lit up. But there are four people behind Mitch and Dex here, and Sheppard could mean any one of them. He does not mention this person's gender, just says "You wouldn't date me!"

The heteronormative viewer is going to make the obvious interpretation. But by a sheer numbers game, this person is much more likely to have been a guy. The likeliest candidate is the one to the right of the woman taking a sip of his drink since he's the one Dex actually turns to look at once Sheppard points out this person that refused to date him (and Sheppard's own eyes also look very much to the right of the frame). And when Sheppard picks up his gun, this guy cowers behind the woman in pink like he's expecting to get shot.

There are hot women in the party, yes. But there sure are a lot of good-looking guys there, too. Maybe there are too many people he's found attractive at one time or another as he seems to be getting hot under the collar:

The last person he looks at (in fact, he looks at this guy in the striped shirt three times) before he has to open his jacket to cool down? This guy:

But, like. The mainstream audience saw the bikinis and nothing else.

The bikini-clad women also distract from their reminiscing about how Sheppard spent half the night sitting and "talking to this guy" in Afghanistan two days before his friends were killed outside Khabour. This is clearly weighing on him. The fact that just attempting to connect with another human being always seems to lead to people close to him getting killed. Again, we transition from this discussion directly to Rodney.

It may be that the house is so full of people, seemingly completely random people from his life, that he was trying to conjure someone to turn up there but couldn't manage it (because the mist wouldn't allow it). We start from his team members who appeared just when he was feeling lonely and thinking about the people he had left behind at Atlantis (Rodney), we know there's someone really smart (Rodney) there being a teacher to a sixth grader, someone he wanted to date (Rodney?), very attractive people (Rodney?), geeky poorly dressed people (def. Rodney). We start with his team members and we end with Ford, who finally comes in the door with a bunch of pizzas. He kept trying to get something to happen, someone to appear, which began with his dead army buddies and finished with Ford. Just saying, there were a lot of people there.

In the end, the alien mist brings them all together into the gate room, suggesting that they live out the rest of their lives in a shared reality. Something pretty interesting happens. The mist tells them that they are now experiencing a shared fabrication. Rodney is shook by this, likely taking this to mean that they have access to each others' minds.

He almost looks at Sheppard but then averts his eyes. Clearly, he wants to look. A few moments pass, he looks more and more apprehensive, and he finally interjects with "So none of this is real? The cute brunette, of course, I should have known! How do you go from, 'You're a pig, but I like your cat,' to, 'I missed you'?"

First of all, he makes no mention of the cute brunette being a woman so for Sheppard, this could mean anyone. Second, this is the thing that McKay chooses to share of his own reality quite unprompted with the others here.

Third, Sheppard looks all kinds of unhappy about hearing him say that. Like this entire thing is in reaction to McKay, the cute brunette and the cat:

He's looked more or less upset the entire episode but suddenly he looks like his cat just died. Weren't you just in a house full of hot people you conjured up from your past yourself, Major? Is it even possible to interpret this as something other than an acute case of jealousy?

And yet he forgets it as soon as McKay starts flirting with him again:

Sheppard: The dead people were a -- dead give a way. McKay: Dead people? What were you doing?

This. This flirty rejoinder was more important to McKay than food and water and their bodies being unconscious on the ground on some alien planet since all of this he only realizes once he has it out of his system, once he has had the chance to reconnect with Sheppard. They actually double-team on the alien mist and when McKay steps up to him/it, Sheppard does the same apparently to place himself between Rodney and fake!Hammond if need be.

When the mist suggests that they make the most of the time they have left, Sheppard gives McKay this look:

McKay is out of the frame, Weir is standing between them so your average Joe viewer, if they pay attention to their looks at all, might interpret him as looking at Weir when that is not what he's doing at all.

When all is well and they wake up on the planet, the episode ends with Sheppard doing something that he loves doing: watching McKay work. He glances back at Teyla and Weir to see if they can see him looking but the episode fades to black with Sheppard and McKay's back-and-forth, once more in their own little world even with these other people around them.

This scene also circles back to the beginning of the episode. There, Sheppard was very obviously trying to not look at McKay. This was emphasized by the placement of Ford and the DHD between them. In this final scene, Ford and the DHD are also placed between them but by this time, they are having a conversation right over them, with Sheppard leaning over the DHD to get closer. They are having a back-and-forth regardless of any and everything that is between them and around them.

It's so familiar. It's so domestic. All is right with the world.