#Yes I think I’ve witnessed at least two murders.

[risestarkiss]

Rise Ramblings #359

*dials* Hello? Police? Yes, I'd like to report a complete savage on the loose.

[daycourtofficial]

Save your tears

Summary: Eris finds his pregnant mate sobbing because of something Lucien did

Author’s note: this is short and fun and silly and goofy, inspired by this fic by @artethyst

Lucien Vanserra considered himself to be a male who was kind and who picked up on the emotional state of those around him.

Which is why he has no idea how you began crying or what to do about it.

Ever since you had written to him a few months ago asking if he could stay in Autumn more frequently during your pregnancy, he had obliged, stopping by to see you at least once a week.

Tears were streaming down your face, and he couldn’t make out a single coherent word from you due to your blubbering. He came to sit next to you, but you put your hands on your belly, scooting further away from him.

Eris strode into the room, taking in the scene before him. You trying to stay as far away from his brother as possible, and his brother trying to get closer to you to console you.

“Lucien, what could you have possibly done to reduce my mate to a sobbing mess?”

Lucien throws his hands around, gesturing wildly, “What I did? Perhaps she’s woken from whatever spell she was under and realized who she was mated to.”

Eris gives his brother a look as he comes to you, grabbing your face gently so you look into his eyes. He takes deep slow breaths, wanting you to do the same. After a moment of deep breathing, your sobs have quieted and he asks, in an incredibly delicate tone, “What’s wrong, fawn?”

“Lucien killed a spider,” you sob out.

Lucien’s eyes widen, “that’s why you’re upset? You asked me to kill it! You were upset over it being here!”

“Yes, and now the spider’s dead and she probably had a whole spider family that is going to starve because you’re a spider murderer,” you reply, having to stop every few words to breathe. “And,” you stress, “her corpse is over there, discarded like she meant nothing.”

Eris kept his lips pressed tightly to keep from laughing at the sheer absurdity of his pregnant mate and his brother as they continued debating the morality of Lucien killing the spider. He watches his brother go to pick up the spider’s body, unlatching a window, and tossing it out before closing the window again, before turning to you, his face asking are you happy now?

You squeak at his callousness and disregard for it, asking, “is that what you shall do with me when I perish?”

Lucien rolls his eyes, “gods I don’t think I’ll be around to witness your death because all of the spiders across the land will kill me in vengeance for their fallen queen.”

Eris sits next to you, pulling you in towards his body, sending waves of love and joy through the bond to soothe you. You curl into him, grasping his shirt to cling onto.

“How could Lucien do such a thing…”

Lucien huffs before stalking off, muttering to himself about how he spends his free time in Autumn for you just to be disrespected for doing what you wanted him to.

You cry in his arms for a while, your sobs turning into hiccups. Eris places a hand on your bump, smoothing his thumb over it, applying a light heat so your babe knows who’s there.

“I think I scared Lucien away,” you finally say, voice shaky.

“Lucien is not so easily shaken. I’ve been trying for centuries to make him hate me, but my attempts are always unsuccessful.”

You smile, your sniffles the only sound for a few moments.

“If you really want Lucien to hate you, have him convicted for the murder of a spider.”

Eris’s eyes crinkle in amusement, “he would have a lot to say about that, I’m sure.”

“There aren’t many topics that he doesn’t have a lot to say on,” you smirk.

Eris stands up, his vest before extending a hand to you. You accept it, and he helps pull you up.

“I think it’d be funny if we told him we’re naming the babe Lulu,” you say, curling underneath Eris’s arm.

“I think he’d be more crushed to find out we aren’t.”

“That’s what’s funny about it.”

“Wicked, wicked female you are,” he croons, leading the two of you through the hall of the Forest House.

[majosullivan]

Nevermore Dashboard Simulator

🌷 many-coloured-grass Follow

Can we all agree to stop making jokes about each other’s deaths? Making light of someone’s death even as a joke is really gross

🪦 deadgirlwalking Follow

No I was murdered so I can reclaim it

85,958 notes

⏳ dream-within-a-dream Follow

Okay but can someone tell me how posts here are getting so many notes? There’s like around 100 people at the academy and I’m frequently seeing posts with well over 1,000 notes. Like, it would be one thing if these posts were years old but some of them are from 2 days ago. Did I just miss the memo and everyone here has at least 10+ accounts, like WHERE are you guys coming from?

👻 hourofsecrecy Follow

Can the spirits not show their appreciation for people’s commentery? Can the creatures of the night not find humour in wits and gists of others? What is the difference from the newly departed and the Unseen Ones?

⏳ dream-within-a-dream Follow

Absolutely horrific answer, thank you for your time

26,496 notes

🪱 conqueror-of-worms Follow

Tell me why it’s around eight in the morning and the first thing I see while heading to the dining hall is Lenore PINING Annabel Lee AGAINST A WALL

☠️ spookyxskeletons Follow

🪱 conqueror-of-worms Follow

Care to clarify who the hell you were referring to in this post?

☠️ spookyxskeletons Follow

Yes

3,270 notes

🎈 floatinghoax Follow

After everything the afterlife could have been, you’re telling me that I have to go to SCHOOL and have CLASSES that start at 9AM? Truly tempted to walk straight into the wasteland, there’s only so much a second chance at life is worth

#not to mention with have fucking ROOMMATES #this academy is MASSIVE #you’re telling me there isn’t enough room for single rooms in this place?

7,984 notes

🥀 wilted-rose Follow

I’m curious, who do you guys think you could take in their spectre forms?

🥀 wilted-rose Follow

IN A FIGHT

69,285 notes

🎶 decomposingmusic Follow

You’re not about to manifest your spectre, you’re just dehydrated

🩰 ghosting-giselle Follow

out of the way gay boy i’m boutta separate myself from my remaining mortal ties and embrace the abilites of my spiritual form

🩰 ghosting-giselle Follow

nures rom

173,032 notes

🌙 voyage-to-the-moon Follow

do you think the Deans wake up every day, take one look at us before telling Ms. Poppet ‘PUT THOSE BEASTS IN SITUATIONS!’

2,396 notes

🌃 eveningstar Follow

Does anyone know if Duke and Pluto (the two boys friends with Lenore) are an item or not? Cause any time I’ve seen them interact, Duke has consistently referred to Pluto as Mon Minou (my kitten in french) and I’m not sure if the two of them are together or if they’re just…Like That

🌃 eveningstar Follow

UPDATE: SO IT TURNS OUT PLUTO DIDN’T KNOW WHAT MON MINOU MEANT AND FOUND OUT THROUGH MY POST. HIM AND DUKE HAVE BEEN BICKERING ABOUT IT ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE DORM ROOMS

🌃 eveningstar Follow

Despite what you would think would occur from this development, none of this has answered by original question

#I was just curious if these two were gay or just European #by all accounts they might be both

6,974 notes

🍋 gives-you-lemons Follow

I think I’m about half with through the manor right now? Honestly this lesson is going much better than I expected!

🍋 gives-you-lemons Follow

RATS RATS RATS RATS RATS RATS R&)26?83@/$

5,052 notes

☔️ dew-dropped-nights Follow

[about to be eaten by one of the monsters in the Teraphobia trial] okay but do you think I’m cute? Be honest

4,824 notes

🪐 eureka Follow

Do you think that Annabel Lee and Lenore have ever explored each others bodies

🌷 many-coloured-grass Follow

Can you fucking not do this? Not only are they real people, they’re our classmates and clearly can’t stand each other. Stuff like this is weird and gross

🔮 sorcery-sorcery-sorcery Follow

I bet they fucked nasty up at the widow’s watch

🥂 drinking-into-the-grave Follow

This is actually how Lenore won the Mystery Manor lesson

☠️ spookyxskeletons Follow

Sometimes that butch pussy gets you acting unwise

🏵️ pendulum-in-the-pit Follow

THAT

WHAT

🪦 deadgirlwalking Follow

What’s not clicking

29,496 notes

[rubin-therubix-loverofblorbos]

CARMEN SANDIEGO INCORRECT QUOTES

Shadowsan: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Carmen's birthday invitations. Ivy: Well, what are they supposed to say? Shadowsan: "Carmen's birthday". Ivy: So, what do they say instead? Shadowsan: "Carmen’s bi". Ivy: Ivy: Works out either way.

-----

Player: I’ve never asked someone out. How do you even do it? Ivy: Oh, what I do is, I look them up and down and I say: “Hey… how you doin’?” Carmen, scoffing: Oh, please. Ivy, to Carmen: Hey, how you doin’? Carmen: Carmen: giggles and blushes

-----

Zack: That’s the longest worm I’ve ever seen. Player: That’s a snake.

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Ivy: I love them both, but how do I propose to two people? Shadowsan: Two different restaurants, one person at each restaurant. Twice the dessert, twice the applause. Ivy: Won’t people think it’s weird if there is a third person just sitting there, though? Shadowsan: I saw someone feed their pet peacock crème brûlée from their mouth at the French place on the corner last week: I think faux third-wheeling at an engagement is the least of your worries.

-----

Vlad: To be honest, I'm kinda pissed that I'm not asleep in bed next to the love of my life in a cottage with no obligations other than watering my vegetable garden.

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{I really need someone to clarify whether they're brothers or two deadpan Russians that Just Look Like That. Because they give such Gay Stone-Faced Lovers but idk. hm. [Looks at the To Steal Or Not To Steal Dip™️*] oh okay}

Boris: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night? Vlad: It was autocorrect. Boris: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."? Vlad: Yes.

-----

Boris: I want to be with you for the rest of my life. Vlad: Damn, that sounds like a marriage proposal. Boris, getting down on one knee: That's 'cause it is.

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Boris: We should be partners. Vlad: You mean like, partners in crime? Boris: Yeah… that’s precisely what I meant.

------

Dr. Bellum: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right? Cleo: Nope, there's 26. Dr. Bellum: Ah, I must have forgotten U, R, A, Q, T. Cleo: Aww, that's cute, but you're still missing one. Dr. Bellum: You'll get the D later ;).

------

Cleo: The stars are so beautiful… Dr. Bellum: They're just giant balls of gas. Cleo: You know what, if you're just going to ruin this, then- Dr. Bellum: And yet none of them are as huge as my love for you. Cleo: Oh…

-------

Chase: I just wanted to say that over the years, I have come to regard you as… people I met.

---------

Chase: What’s up? I’m back. Zack: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead Chase: Death is a social construct.

---------

The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one Chase: I will not let you down. Ivy: Sounds fun. Zack: K. Julia: No, I'm fucking not. Carmen: Do I have to be? Shadowsan: Please god, I am so tired.

----------

Shadowsan: Wanna hear some dark humor. Ivy: Yeah, I love dark humor. Shadowsan: Alright. Shadowsan: Turns off the lights Shadowsan: Knock knock. Ivy: Turn the damn lights back on.

------------

Zack, washing the dishes: Who the fuck used this pan?? Zack: Wait. I the fuck used this pan… Ivy: It was you the fuck. Zack: It was I the fuck… Shadowsan: Who cooks rice in a pan? Ivy: They the fuck.

-------------

Carmen: trying to buy a Father's Day card at Hallmark Carmen: Excuse me, do you have any that just say "You are my dad?" Associate: Well, I- Carmen: How about "You witnessed the murder of my actual dad?" Associate: No…Wait, wha- Carmen: You know what, I'll just get a blank one. Carmen: writes You are a father. This is a day. Here is a card.

-------------

Shadowsan: What must it be like to live in your head? Are there happy ponies in there? It’s really something how utterly delusional your optimism is. If I didn’t hate you so much, I might even be impressed. Chase: Huzzah! I got a heavily qualified and slightly sarcastic compliment from Shadowsan!

-------------

Ivy: Its hard to resist, I'm really sorry- I mean, considering your approach so far, you had us tied here for- what? Hours? And you haven’t even had us confirm what exactly we are! Chase: What are you then? Ivy: I'm a Virgo!

--------------

Zack: I once tried to play a pirated copy of Garfield Kart, when Garfield jumped out of my PC! We are currently married with three beautiful children and a summer house in Lisbon.

--------------

*The Dip from To Steal or Not to Steal {no seriously they slayed. Those little gay boys served every bit of cunt within the timespan of three and a half seconds}

ALSO, The Entire Video, which is fucking amazing. Masterpiece.

[angelasscribbles]

Law's End: Murder at Vista Heights Chapter 7

Series: Law’s End

Episode 1: Murder at Vista Heights

Fandom: The Royal Romance (loosely, there is zero canon, I've just borrowed the characters)

Pairings: None yet

Word Count: 2,582

Rating: MA

Warnings for series: adult themes, any given chapter may contain murder, violence, language, drinking, drug use, etc.

My other stuff can be found here: Master List.

The conference room in the homicide division of the seventh precinct was filled with the smells of coffee and fresh pastries. It was early. Too early, considering they’d all been there until well after midnight interrogating witnesses.

The food was Bertrand’s way of making up for the fact that no one had gotten much sleep the night before, but everyone still turned up bright and early, ready to work.

“So, she does have a history of stalking.” Liam flipped the file across the table to Flynn.

Detective O’Malley reached for the manila folder and flipped it open. “Who’d she stalk?”

“Clarence Coleman. An app developer. The police reports are in there. He was granted a restraining order. I’ve left a message for him to contact us. See if he’s heard from her lately.”

Flynn skimmed the information in front of him. “This was three years ago.”

Liam nodded. “It’s likely that she stopped harassing Cole when she started sleeping with Trent.”

There was a knock on the conference room door and Rashad entered, carrying a laptop. “There are no security cameras at the vic’s apartment complex, but I found a late model Nissan Pathfinder registered to the suspect and scrubbed video footage from nearby traffic cameras.” He placed the laptop on the table and flipped it around for the detectives to see.

Liam leaned forward to get a closer look. “Is that our suspect?”

“Yes,” Rashad confirmed, “Three blocks away from our vic’s house, heading that direction, fifteen minutes before the 911 call. And this….” He swiped to another image. “…is her ten minutes after the call heading the other direction through the same intersection.”

“We need more than that for an arrest warrant,” Flynn said as he zoomed in, looking for any evidence of blood visible in the photo, but it was too grainy. “It’s not illegal to be in the vicinity.”

Liam pushed away from the table. “Let’s get back over to the apartment complex and show her photo to the neighbors. Maybe someone will remember seeing her that morning.”

An hour later, he was seated in a small but elegant dining room as Stella Haltom served him coffee. Flynn was canvassing other neighbors, ones they hadn’t been able to reach yesterday.

Liam had tried to decline, but Stella was insistent.

“You’re very young for a homicide detective, aren’t you?”

“Yes, ma’am, I—”

“Are you single?”

“I am. But—”

“Really? A young, handsome, successful man like you?”

“Well—”

“You know, if things don’t work out between my granddaughter and that nice reporter—”

Liam shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Ma’am, if we could get back to business. I just have a few quick questions—”

“Oh, yes, of course! You wanted me to look at more photos?”

“Well, one more.” Liam pulled up the photograph of Sabrina Simmons on his cell phone and held it out to her.

“Oh, my yes!” Stella somehow managed to convey disapproval with a nod of her head. “That was the one that was over there the most.”

“Did he entertain a lot of women?”

Stella snorted so hard she choked on her coffee. Once she recovered her breath, she clarified, “Whatever you think a lot is, multiply that by at least three!”

“That many?”

“Yes, and now that I think of it, two days before the murder, this one,” she gestured toward his phone, “showed up while one of the other ones was there.”

“Was there an argument?”

“Was there an argument?” She scoffed as a frown pulled her lips down. “Woke half the building with the screaming. I’m surprised no one called the cops.”

“Thank you. This is very helpful. Did you happen to see her on the day of the murder?”

“No, but that doesn’t mean anything. I was gone for most of the morning.”

“Where were you, again?”

“I left to help organize the church rummage sale early that morning.”

Liam checked his notes. “So, you overheard the argument between the two men when?”

“On my way out. I had to walk past Mr. Hayes’ apartment on my way to the elevator.”

“Just to review… you overheard the argument at roughly seven a.m., left for the church, followed by brunch, and returned home just after noon.”

“That’s correct.”

“So, you were home when the gunshots were fired?”

“Yes.” She shuddered. “It was terrifying!”

“And you didn’t see or hear anyone else coming or going from his apartment that day?”

“No.”

“Is there anything you can think of that you noticed that day? Anything at all?”

“I already told you everything yesterday. And that lovely reporter as well.”

Liam sighed at the mention of Riley. He couldn’t forbid a private citizen from speaking to the press, no matter how much he wanted to. But it did remind him of something. “Speaking of Miss Brooks… she mentioned you saw a woman at the victim’s apartment the night before the murder?”

“Yes.”

“Was that woman either of these?” He showed her the photographs of both Sabrina and Katie again.

Stella peered at both, then shook her head. “No.”

“Do you know who she was?”

“No, sir. I’m sorry. I couldn’t keep up with all the women that were in and out of that apartment. Besides, I don’t like to get into other people’s business.”

It took a concerted effort for him to not react to such an obviously false statement.

He jotted down a general description of the woman before extricating himself from the conversation. “Okay, ma’am. Thank you for your time.”

“I’m always happy to help the boys in blue!” she smiled proudly. “You have my number in case you have any further questions, right?”

“Yes, ma’am. I’ve got it.” Liam flipped his notepad closed. “If you think of anything else, please let us know.”

He stepped out into the hallway and reconvened with his partner. “How’d it go on your end?”

Flynn shrugged. “I found multiple witnesses that identified Sabrina Simmons as Trenton Hayes’ girlfriend, but none that could definitively place her at the scene on the day of the murder.”

“I confirmed there was a third woman here the night before the murder, but I don’t know who.”

“We’ll have the plainclothes canvas again and try to find that information. I think it’s time you and I go have a conversation with Ms. Simmons.”

“Agreed.” Liam pushed the button for the elevator. When it dinged open, he found himself face to face with Riley. “What are you doing here?”

“Good morning to you, too.” She stepped back so they could fit into the lift with her. “Probably the same thing you are.”

Liam made a noncommittal sound in the back of his throat as they stepped into the elevator. “Where’s your sidekick this morning?”

“Max?” She looked surprised at his question. “I don’t know. Probably sleeping in after that late night we all had. Why do you ask?”

Liam shrugged. “I’m just used to seeing the two of you together.”

“When I need a photographer.” She studied his demeanor, then a small grin crept across her face. “Why so interested in who I spend my time with, detective?”

“I’m not.”

Before she could answer, the elevator rocked to a stop on the first floor and the doors slid open. As they stepped off, a familiar face caught her eye. “Drake!”

The PI turned from the concierge desk to face the trio, his eyes lighting up. “Riley! What a pleasant surprise!” He was less enthusiastic as he greeted the two men. “Hello, detectives.”

The men exchanged handshakes as Liam asked, “Why are you here, Walker?”

“I’m investigating the murder of Trent Hayes. I was officially retained to do so this morning by Sadie McGraw. I was thinking it would be in both our best interests to collaborate.”

“I don’t know—”

Flynn’s phone cut through the conversation. He pulled it out and glanced down at the screen. “This is the boss. Hold on.”

Flynn stepped away to take the call, leaving Riley with Liam and Drake.

Not awkward at all.

After a brief conversation, Flynn returned to inform the group, “The chief just got out of a meeting with the mayor. We are to collaborate and cooperate fully with Walker here.”

“Great!” Drake gloated.

“Great,” Liam grumbled.

Flynn shot a pointed look at Riley. “If you’ll excuse us, ma’am, we have a case to discuss.”

“Don’t let me get in your way. I’m just going to grab a latte and update my notes.” She gave them a disarming smile and turned on her heel, disappearing into the small coffee shop located just off the main entrance.

She really was going to update her notes, but she had no intention of leaving without an update on the case. Liam was never going to crack, but she liked her chances of getting information out of Drake. She fired off a quick text as she waited for her drink.

Ten minutes later, Drake was at her table. “You said you had some information for me?”

“I said I was willing to trade information with you.” She gestured for him to sit as the barista approached to take his order.

He ordered a black coffee and then returned his attention to the reporter. “What information do you have that I can’t find out for myself?”

“Maybe none.” She lifted a shoulder. “But it took me three hours of knocking on doors to find out the identity of the woman Trent was with the night before the murder. You could spend the next three hours doing the same or we could help each other out.”

He regarded her thoughtfully for a moment. He didn’t have to reveal anything about his client to slip her the information about who the police were looking at as their prime suspect. “I suppose I could share a detail or two. You’re going to find it out on your own anyway.”

Her eyebrows raised. “How do you know that?”

“Because I did a little digging. Your investigative skills are impressive. No wonder you’ve won the Edward R. Murrow Award for journalism as well as two Scripps Awards.”

Her eyebrows arched even higher as she took a long sip of her latte before placing the cup carefully on the table in front of her. “Wow. You really did do your homework. I don’t know whether to be impressed or alarmed. Are you stalking me, sir?”

“Hardly.” He snorted. “Are you going to tell me that you did absolutely no research on me after agreeing to a date?”

“I agreed to dinner. No one said it was a date.”

“Semantics, but fine. Dinner. Answer the question. Did you not look into me at all?”

“You mean did I find out that you graduated from the police academy at the top of your class but quit six months into your first year to go into business with your father? That you have one sister, Savannah, and that you’ve never been married?”

He gave her a smug smile. “I knew you were into me.”

“Please,” she laughed, “It’s just common sense to find out what you can about a man you plan to be alone with.”

He leaned across the table with a smirk. “So, you plan to be alone with me?”

She hid a grin behind her cup. “At the very least I’ll be getting into a car alone with you when we go to dinner.”

“Is that all?”

“Well, we’ll see how the evening progresses, won’t we?”

“Can’t wait.”

“Now, are you going to tell me what you learned from the cops?”

“I don’t know. Are you going to tell me who the woman from the other night is?”

“If your information is good enough.”

“I know who their prime suspect is.”

“Is it Katie or William Sloan or Dean Collins?”

“No.”

She sat up straighter. “There’s another suspect in play?”

He twirled his coffee cup in his fingers. “Yep.”

“Okay. Yes, that’s a fair trade. Who is it?”

“Sabrina Simmons. She was his secretary when he was engaged to Katie. He cheated on Katie with Sabrina. That’s the reason they broke up. After Katie dumped him, Sabrina became his girlfriend. Last weekend, she showed up while he was entertaining someone else. Several neighbors heard the argument. The theory is that she got fed up with his womanizing. She has a history of stalking, and the cheating gives her motive.”

“Interesting theory, because the woman that was there Monday night is his current secretary.”

“Sounds like he has a history of sleeping with his secretary. What’s her name?”

“Sarah Foster. She’s not at work today. I already called.”

“Well, her boss slash boyfriend was murdered yesterday. I can track down a home address for her.”

“Way ahead of you.” She shoved her notes into her bag as she stood up. “Wanna go question her together?”

“How the hell did you get her address already?”

It was Riley’s turn to smirk. “I have my sources.”

“Okay, let’s go. But I’m driving.”

“I don’t want to leave my car here. I’ll meet you there. Here’s the address.” She quickly scribbled the information on a piece of paper.

He threw some money on the table to cover the coffee, took the slip of paper from her, and then pulled his phone out and opened the contact list.

“What are you doing?”

“Holding up my end of the deal with the CCPD. Collaboration works both ways.”

“Could you at least wait until after we have a chance to talk to her?”

He hesitated as he considered her request. “Why?”

“Because you and I both know that once the police get there, I won’t be allowed to talk to her! Police protocol this and interfering with an investigation that, blah, blah, blah… Come on…. You wouldn’t even know who she was if it wasn’t for me.”

“I would have eventually knocked on the right door and found out.”

“Yeah, hours from now, by which time I would have already interviewed her for my article. Don’t make me regret sharing information with you.”

“Fine.” He slotted the phone back into his pocket. “You get ten minutes with her, then I’m making the call.”

“Deal. Let’s go!”

The drive from Vista Heights to Sarah’s apartment complex took nearly forty-five minutes. Riley found Drake waiting for her in front of the entrance.

The apartment complex was a stark contrast to Trent’s. A dingy brick building surrounded by other dingy brick buildings, it had no doorman, and the front door was propped open. There was certainly no concierge desk or coffee shop in the lobby.

No elevator came when Drake pushed the button. “Looks like we’re taking the stairs.”

“Good thing she’s only on the fourth floor.”

As they approached apartment 412, Drake suddenly stopped and put his arm out to halt Riley.

“What?”

“Shhh….” He moved in front of her and pulled a gun from his hip. “The door is cracked open. Stay here.”

Riley Brooks hadn’t built her career by standing down. The moment Drake pushed the door open and stepped across the threshold, she followed, keeping quiet so he wouldn’t notice.

“Hello? Is anyone home? Sarah?” He called out as he made his way through the living room. He entered the kitchen and stopped in his tracks. “Well, shit.”

Riley entered right behind him, craning her neck to peer around him. Well, shit was right.

Sarah Foster lay on the kitchen floor in a pool of blood.

[burning-academia-if]

Lars & 16. snowball fight? 👉👈

Lars + Snowball Fight

There was probably a reasonable, more mature way to deal with Lars Angel. In the months you’ve known him you’ve since to find it. But Lars was, well, Lars. He was always distant and cold and brushing you off, all while dressing like he was an elderly man living in the 1920s and maybe you were at the end of your ropes.

            It was the final straw when he’d given you his usual vague glances when you’d called out to him after getting out of your last final. Sure, it was to be expected. And yet. It felt like any and all raptor you’d managed to build up didn’t exist unless when it suited him best.

            So yes, you did drop down, scoop up some freshly fallen snow, and lobbed it at his head as he turned away without so much as a hello. And yes, you did mess up his overly perfect hair. He was going to kill you. It did nothing to drop the grin from your face. Even as passersby eyed you, those who knew the infamous man with the gaze of someone about to witness a murder.

             Slowly he turned around, and you kept your shit-eating grin, “Sorry, Lars. I think you were too quiet. Did you say ‘hello’ back?”

            He shook his head and the remnants of the snow fell off. His eyes narrowed faintly and people subtly got out of the way, not wanting to get caught in the cross fire, “I’m too busy for your nonsense today.”

            “Of course you are! Whenever are you not? But you can still spare a second to acknowledge me.”

            “I’ve acknowledged you.” His voice was flat. He turned away. Oh, you weren’t going to let this go quite so easily.

            But before you could so much as go for a second throw, you blinked and then you were almost teetering as a snowball hit you square in the face. You gasped, the cold biting as it hit your skin.

            Quickly you scrubbed it off, and your smile only grew, “Oh, so you do have a fun side?”

            “If you go for one more—”

            “What are you going to do? Don’t tell me you, Mr. Joyless-and-Boring, is going to have a snowball fight with me.” His eyes narrowed further, and the two your eyes locked in a standoff. There was still snow clinging to his jacket, you noted with mirth. And his scarf had come undone just a little. “Well?”

            You hadn’t expected him to actually do it. But one second the two of you were staring off and the next the two of you were running through the courtyard, off the paths, as people glanced over in surprise. Lars had perfect aim, because of course the bastard did, and you were mostly just trying to run away because you knew it was over the moment he caught up to you.

            Still, you tried your best and missed more then half your shots and a breathless laughter trailed after you. It was as you got to the end of the courtyard, and snow covered grass got turned to concrete, a hand was at your wrist. You fell back, foot slipping ever so gracefully, into a sturdy body. All the snow from being pelted with snowballs fell off as you hit.

            “You are a menace.” Lars stated, breathing almost as hard as you.

            “At least I keep things entertaining.” You turned to face him and he dropped your wrist. You reached out, lightly pushing strands of hair back into place. “You should probably fix your appearance. I can’t believe you’d look unprofessional when you have…whatever your busy with.”

            He swatted your hand away, “Are you satisfied.”

            “No.” You quickly backed away before he could grab you again. “You still haven’t said ‘hello’ back.”

            “…Hello. Now are you satisfied?”

            “Yep!” He brushed the snow off his clothes, and you wondered all the ways he was thinking of killing you. “This all could have been avoided if you just said it in the first place.”

            “Noted.” Lars turned, having enough of you for the day, and honestly, probably for the entire week. Still, it was with great satisfaction that when you caught him the next day, he finally greeted you back.

[all-eyes-lead-to-the-truth]

All Eyes Lead to the Truth | Chinga (5x10)

Jack Bonsaint never really bought into any of that witchcraft stuff. He grew up in Ammas Beach, been here all his life. The lore has surrounded him ever since he could remember. But the town isn’t exactly teeming with crime; in fact, most days, his watch is pretty darn quiet. And a lot of the time, he suspects the townsfolk conjure and believe these witchcraft stories out of pure boredom. 

He’d never witnessed any of it with his own eyes before, but on the day Special Agent Dana Scully came into town (the same day poor Dave the butcher got maimed by his own carving knife), Jack got a feeling deep in his gut things were different. When he’d walked into that Turner house this morning… he’d sure felt something strange. 

Even if Melissa wasn’t actually a witch, the townsfolk sure believed it. And the last thing he needs is a mob running amok.

I don’t think it’s witchcraft, Mulder. Or sorcery.

It was strange, to say the least; hearing a federal agent talking seriously about a subject he’d been conditioned to roll his eyes at his entire life. As a cop —a chief, no less— he tries to remain as serious as possible. But today, maybe he needs to take this seriously. 

Agent Scully had made it pretty clear she wasn’t interested in letting the investigation interfere with her R&R, but now he has two murders on his hands. And from what little he knows of her, she’s not the type of agent to let the unsolved remain… well, unsolved.

Vacation, she’d said. He’ll do his best. 

“New England hospitality,” she says, taking a sip from her water. “Finally.”

It’s a nice place, maybe a little touristy, but Jack suspects it’s precisely what she’s after. She’s working, but she can see the harbor. She can hear the gulls calling. Maybe she can pretend she’s still on vacation.

“Figured this’ll fit the bill,” he says. “Locals still come here but only ‘cause it’s the best damn lobster in town.”

“Thanks, Jack,” she said. “This is really nice.”

It isn’t a date, obviously. Just two professionals discussing a case over lunch. Jack hasn’t been on anything resembling a date since the divorce, and that was nearly two years ago. But something about it triggers a memory of what it’s like to be on a date, what it’s like to want to impress the woman sitting across from him. 

He has a feeling nothing about this place is going to impress Dana Scully.

“So… FBI,” he says, punctuating each letter. “What department do you work in? You and your partner,” he added, testing the waters. He’d only spoken to the man briefly but he’d seemed a bit… territorial. 

“Well, it’s a little unorthodox, actually,” she says. She hedges a bit, as if she isn’t really interested in sharing. But then she goes for it. “We work on cases called X-Files. Unsolved cases.”

He chuckles. “Not sure how it works in your neck of the woods, but it seems lots of cases go unsolved.”

She smiles tightly. “Well, what I mean is more like… cases that aren’t really explained to anyone’s satisfaction. At least not in any conventional way.”

He furrows his brow. “You mean… like witchcraft.”

“In this case, yes. Extreme possibilities.”

“Uh-huh.” For a minute he thinks she might be pulling his leg, but he pushes the thought away. People are dead, and she seems to be as serious an agent as they come. Besides, if “extreme possibilities” make her want to keep going… well, he isn’t gonna get in the way. “So you’ve seen this kind of thing before, then?”

She gives him a sly smirk. If they weren’t working a case, he’d be googly-eyed by now. “Not like this, exactly, but I have seen things. Things that…” she trails off.

“Haven’t been explained to your satisfaction?” he grins.

“You could say that.”

“I’ve never seen anything like that,” he admits.

“I never did either, until I started working with Mulder,” she says. He’s been wondering when she’d bring up her erstwhile partner. “It’s opened my eyes, so to speak. To see the possibilities around me rather than just ignore them.”

All the talk of witches around these parts has always been just that to Jack: talk. Chatter. He doesn’t pay it much mind. He lives in the real world, not the realm of fantasy and hokum. 

But if someone like Agent Scully can believe…

“Y’ know, sometimes I wish I believed in that sort of thing,” he says. “Bet it would make my job more interesting.”

She looks out the window, trailing a finger around the rim of her glass, appearing deep in thought. “That’s one thing about it,” she agrees. “I can’t ever say the work is uninteresting.”

The profile she cuts against the harbor view allows Jack to think of her un professionally for just a moment. Dana Scully is beautiful, and smart, and in any other circumstance he might consider asking her to join him for dinner as well. But something about the way her demeanor shifted when she mentioned her partner…

Besides, she’s only here on vacation.

“Chief?” she then asks, snapping him out of his thoughts. “Are you alright?” God, he hopes she hadn’t caught him staring.

“A-yup,” he says distractedly, getting himself back onto the task at hand. Of all the extreme possibilities this day could bring, the one where he makes an ass of himself in front of a pretty lady isn’t one he wants to entertain. Mercifully, the waitress arrives with their lunch. Agent Scully gapes at the enormous crustacean.

“That looks like something out of Jules Verne,” she says. He tries to pretend she looks less horrified than intrigued. “We’re supposed to eat that?”

“Little late for anything else,” he grins, picking up the tail and cracking it open. 

Maybe witchcraft is real, he thinks. Because Dana Scully sure can cast a spell.

Read the rest of All Eyes Lead to the Truth on Ao3!

@admiralty-xfd

[certifiedwhore4slashers]

Can I get, if your request are open, The Party x male reader

But the group are all ghostface?? So I think Max and Lucas would be the callers, Will, Mike, and Eleven would be the main killers, and Dustin would be the the one to tournament the victims.

And they all see reader as someone who needs to be sheltered and protected even though he’s perfectly able to handle himself?? — sorry if it’s too specific or anything. Thanks!

YES! i love this! and no problem. thank you for requesting:)

Sheltered

pairing: ghostface!stranger things kids x male!reader

summary: your friends, or so called lovers, think you need to be sheltered when you can handle yourself just fine.

warnings: yandere(?), murder, gore, blood, knife violence, the party is delusional lol, possessiveness, toxicity, etc…

There had been a total of four murders so far. And who was the prime suspect? Eddie Munson. You didn’t know why. Because you had met him before and not at all the kind of guy who would kill.

Your friends had been off lately. They were even more protective than ever. Yes, they were all naturally protective. But more specifically your friends your age.

You had a platonic relationship with the older members as it should be, nothing more than that. But they were protective. Though your friends that were your age were a bit more protective. No, extremely protective. It was always off to you.

“No, Y/N, This isn’t safe, you shouldn’t come with, Mike said. He was lying to you about where they were going. Truth was, the killings were happening because of them.

“Oh my god, wherever you’re going is probably not safe for you either then, You groaned.”I can handle myself, Mike. Just, let me come with.”

“Mike is right, Will pipes in."Your can't come.“ Most of your friends leave, leaving you dumbfounded, but more so annoyed.

You honestly didn’t give a fuck. You’d find out where they went. And you’d join them. In whatever, unless of course it was murder or something like that.

That would be an ironic statement later.

You snuck out that night. Your Mother and Fatjer were tired so they didn’t hear you go through your window and jump down. You hear their voices and decide you could follow them. Somehow, and subtly.

You get on your bike quickly, hoping you’d be fast enough and not too late. That’s when you saw it. “Y/N is ours! Ghostface said, voice covered by a voice changer. They were stabbing the victim a few times, and harshly as far as you could see.

Though, you could recognize it from a mile away. Mike. You wanted to move or at the very least, run. But you were frozen with shock. The victim was someone who flirted with you. A girl, actually.

They were willing to do that for you? You accidentally stepped on a branch, making them turn in your direction.

There were only two of them, strangely enough. Eleven groans, taking the mask off.”Curiosity got the best of you, didn’t it?”

You slowly nod, their costumes drenched in blood. The girl was Angela. You knew her, Eleven did, as well. Making you think she was primarily the one killing Angela.

“We needed to protect you! Mike said.”Come on out.” The others come out. It indicated that they were the one making phone calls. You were naturally phased. You weren’t crazy like they were.

Only, you laughed.”I told her off so many times. She didn’t deserve to die, you know. Well, actually… she wasn’t nice. But I can Handle myself, I’ve said this a million times haven’t I?”

“But is it the truth? Lucas asks. The party came closer to you, you didn’t really know what to say. Despite the fact you could hold your own ground, a bit of protection didn’t hurt. Though, this was a bit too far.

Up until now, you weren’t aware of what they were secretly doing the past few days. “You’re not going to witness this anymore, Eleven said.”In fact… you need more.”

You blinked before realizing Eleven, using her powers, had knocked you out. And when you woke up, she was right. You were even more sheltered than ever now.

[cqsuanla]

conk

tags: sfw dark!nat/f!reader

summary: you strike back. accidentally.

note: please fictional bde gf kill the bug in my room. also take a shot every time u see the word spoon, also unedited

It’s Nat’s fault for being so quiet, you’ll think later. And it’s also her fault for abducting you and holding you captive in a house for an amount of time you can’t even really comprehend. Leaving you alone for an amount of time you pretend not to obsess over. Also, for returning from whatever Avengers bullshit two days earlier than she’d told you.

You’re doing the dishes, humming, hands pruned and slippery, when lean arms wind around your navel. You shriek and jerk back, jumping comically into the air. Your favourite mug goes careening into the wall, shattering on impact.

The force of your reaction shocks Nat enough to make her loosen her hold, gives you enough leeway to whirl around. But she has not given you enough time, clearly, to exercise higher brain function. Before you know it, you’re seizing a spoon from the sudsy basin of water in front of you and flinging it at your then-unknown assailant.

The spoon bonks her on the forehead and clatters loudly on the floor. Nat stares at you.

You gape, eyes wide.

The gravity of the situation dawns, stuns you, plants you to the spot. Terror kicks in. You hear a consistent rushing noise in your ears. It could also just be the faucet, still gushing water, and you’re suddenly envious of the water as the drain swallows it. You wish you could liquify yourself and disappear too.

A shard of mug slips belatedly off the wet counter and clanks into a plate left in the sink.

The noise jolts Nat into movement. She lifts her hand, disbelief abruptly washing across her face, and touches her fingertips to her now damp forehead. Lightly. Ghosting over where you’d struck her.

You swallow. “I-”

“You hit me.” She looks at her hand, looking like she still can’t believe it. Really sells that, because she presses her fingers to her head again and looks at you, and looks at her hand, and does it again once more. Then, looks at the floor. “With a spoon.”

“I’m sorry,” you blurt out.

You take a step forward, thinking of maybe bodily hurling yourself at her in an effort to convey your remorse, but she moves away with a startled blink in your direction. You freeze on instinct. She stops too, looking even more perplexed than before.

“It was an accident,” you say meekly, shrinking back into the sink. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry; you scared me. It was- I’m so sorry-”

“A spoon.” The word comes out kind of high, as if it’s a question even though you’re taking it as a statement—there’s no way you’re answering. No way you can produce words right now, to justify it convincingly to someone like Nat. She drops her hand, eying the offending object on the floor. “I’ve never been hit with a spoon before.”

Because you don’t really know what to do—except you kind of want to hunch around your knees and think very hard about travelling back in time to convince your parents to terminate a certain pregnancy—you slap your hand blindly behind you. The water turns off after too much fumbling.

Nat tilts her head, eyes darting to you. Her face smooths into something expressionless, tone deceptively conversational. “That was very ineffective. The spoon.”

“I’m sorry,” you say again, chest tight. Moments from hyperventilating.

“So you’ve said.” And fuck, thank god, Nat’s lips twitch. They broaden into a smile, eyes crinkling at the corners.

Her emotions always feel delayed, like she has to consider whether to feel them first, or to express them, at least. Always so controlled. It makes everything feel like a game. A really fucked up, exhausting game of how fast can she induce Stockholm Syndrome. Or make you cry. She’s very, very good at winning games.

“I really didn’t mean to, Nat,” you say quietly, shame-faced, as that thought crosses your mind.

“Yes,” Nat says, unmoving still, smiling still, “I didn’t think you’d attempt murder with a spoon.”

“Can you- Can you please just…” You curl your soapy fingers into the front of your shirt, wishing she’d just close the distance and enthusiastically forgive you for accidental assault. “I thought you- You said on Thursday that- You’re early.”

This, not the flying metal cutlery, is what makes Nat narrow her eyes at you. She tilts her head the other way, appraising you.

Anticipating her thought process, you twist the fabric of your top in your fists, shifting your weight on your feet. Words blurt out, stunted, genuine: “I- I mean, I missed you. I love you. Sorry for, um- for throwing a- I missed you, obviously.”

“Obviously,” she deadpans. Pointedly, she scuffs the spoon on her way over to you. She moves a bit of your hair over your shoulder with the back of her hand, pleased when you shudder at her touch. “I could really feel it. Your affection.”

You’re so relieved that she’s not angry with you, you don’t even care that she’s mocking you. “I love you.”

“I know,” she murmurs, pressing her face into your cheek and finally leaning into your body. Automatically, you release your hands and brace them on her shoulders. She breathes softly, happily, into your flushed skin. “It’s shocking sometimes.”

“What,” you mutter into her hair, eyes closed, inhaling the faint smell of smoke lingering on her. You wonder how much fire was involved in her mission. She kisses the corner of your mouth and you think about the heat of her body instead.

Her lips quirk; you feel it. “Your love. It just really hits me sometimes.”

“…ugh.”

She squeezes your middle. “Like a spoon. To the face.”

“There’s a butter knife in the sink too,” you grumble, “since you’re so into feeling my feelings.”

“Just try it,” Nat says with a laugh, nuzzling at your neck. “But, careful, baby, I don’t think you’d survive if I decide you should feel my feelings.”

“No,” you murmur. “Don’t think I did.”

Nat grins and twines a hair around her finger. You prop your chin on her shoulder and you soak in her good mood, looking idly at a spoon.

[sukirichi]

personal disaster

Toji took the personal invitation to be your personal disaster.

REQUEST. toxic toji + enemies to greater enemies + toji railing reader in front of someone they’re seeing because he doesn’t want to see you happy but he doesn’t want to “keep” you either

PAIRINGS. toxic toji x reader x mafia! leader noritoshi kamo (he’s just witnessing the fun, dw)

CONTENT/WARNINGS: rough sex, slight bloodplay, violence, toxic toji, toxic and abusive relationships, choking, begging kink (you’ll be surprised in what way), degradation, mass murder, mentions of blood, cuckolding, overstimulation, reader is kind of crazy, hate fucking, neck slicing, IT’S DARK okay? unedited too, sorry for typos and grammatical errors 

WC: 3.5k+

masterlist !

Your arm looped with your fiancé’s, his possessive arm wrapped around your waist. He glared at everyone who stared at you with a lust filled gaze, his cold eyes alone enough to send his people staring at the ground with a tug of their jackets to hide their erection. You almost felt bad for them, knowing that they always saw how your pussy took Noritoshi’s cock so well, but that was it.

They could only see but never had a taste of the specimen you were because you were the mafia leader’s fiancé, soon to be the Queen of his empire while you sat pretty next to him, getting richer and richer with each passing second before you fulfilled your duty and birthed him an heir.

Noritoshi wasn’t in a rush, though. He was a man of sensual pleasure, wanting to take his time with you and getting to know you, and take his time he did.

There was not a day that he didn’t have you moaning under his silk sheets, wrists already chafed from the handcuffs he insisted on using you, simply because he was a man who liked to exert dominance and craved being in power. You never denied him – how could you when all you had to do was spread your legs and you got that coin?

You were beyond a slut for him, however, and this much was clear when Noritoshi announced that you were his and his only.

When even that didn’t deter the curious hands of his people from pumping their cocks at the thought of you, Noritoshi have had enough. He roughly slammed his lips to yours before he melted at the sweetness of your lips, soon turning gentle before he slipped a ring inside your finger to make it official.

Noritoshi, dramatic as ever, wanted everyone to know about this engagement as loudly as he could without opening his mouth.

Your fiancé had a flare for the theatrics, which was why he didn’t blink an eye as he got you an expensive designer dress, hand-stitched, and flaunting you around – flaunting his soon to be wife hanging off of his arm proudly.

He guided you into his limousine until you reached a night sky nightclub that was notorious for its luxury. Not even the richest people belonging in the top tier of society could afford a single ticket, much less a private room. Noritoshi made the right choice by walking with you down the hallways, the walls transitioning from a glossy black to a velvet tint, leading into one of the VIP rooms that was already surrounded by his guards.

The whole way there, Noritoshi didn’t loosen his grip on you, making sure his hand was cupping your ass to flash your ring and his.

Several envious gazes and curious ones later, followed by hushed whispers before the pair of you disappeared behind the double doors, Noritoshi loosened up in his seat, satisfied that he’d marked his territory successfully.

Noritoshi uncapped a bottle of fine whiskey served by a shivering waiter, while you sat next to him, legs crossed enough that the poor blushing waiter flushed at the sight of your bare cunt.

You checked your nails, smirking at the velvet black acrylics Noritoshi was generous enough to let you borrow his black card for. The dress you wore was infinitely superb too, the bust firm enough to push your breasts high enough that the outline of your cleavage was just a step away from exposing your nipples – a tease, as always – just as how Noritoshi wanted.

He was like that; always dangling the treasure right in front of people’s mouths as they salivated in hunger, then bringing it back to his grasp just before they took a bite.

How Noritoshi, you thought.

Out of nowhere, muffled gunshots could be heard from the outside, your eyes cat-like as they glared at the door, waiting for people to burst through. Not a second later, one of your guards rudely invited himself in, pushing the curtain that hid a secret exit as he started babbling nonsense about a madman or something.

“What’s wrong?” Noritoshi asked calmly over his glass, swirling the glass with a satisfying clink. “What’s all the commotion about?”

“Sir, you need to leave! There’s an assassin here and he’s easily taking our men down!”

“Assassin?” he scoffed with a pinch of his brow. “What do you mean assassin? This is a private nightclub – isn’t our security tough?”

“Yes, sir, but he’s easily overpowering us—”

“This assassin you speak of,” you stopped inspecting your nails, placing them over your knee instead. A smirk painted your bold red lips when the guard’s eyes trailed downwards to your shaven cunt, his Adam’s apple bobbing at the sight before he turned away, stiffening harder once he met Noritoshi’s glare. “Is he tall, dark, has a scar running down in his lip and has a crazy look in his eye?”

“Y-yes, that’s exactly him.”

“Do you know who he is, darling?”

You scrunched your noise, uncrossing your legs out of poor mercy to this man. He looked like he’d faint soon – seriously, didn’t Noritoshi have enough sluts for his men to fuck? “An old friend of mine, although I could hardly call him that when he took everything from me,” eyes darkening at the memory of him, you pushed yourself off the velvet cushions of the couch, swiping at the gun strapped to your thigh. “You should leave, Toshi. I’ll handle him.”

“You’ll handle him? It’s unsafe – we need to leave—”

Sigh, he always worried too much over you. It was so easy for him to forget you lived an equally dark life prior meeting him, so you pressed your lips against his, making sure to mark the edges red to remind him he had nothing to worry about. As always, it shut Noritoshi up, his hands coming up to caress at your ass.  

“He won’t hurt me,” you assured, palms laid flat on his chest. “Now go.”

Noritoshi wasn’t given a chance when you nodded at his guard, who got the message and dragged his boss away rather harshly behind the curtain. Smirking, you made your way outside, adrenaline rushing through your veins and heat seeping into your core. This night just got a lot more interesting.

Your fun was spoiled, however, when you were met with blood stained walls and limbs torn everywhere. A sneer made its way to your face, not because you were disgusted by the sight, but because he was still as boring and upfront as ever.

He never let you had your fun.

“Toji,” you greeted the tall man sitting on top of the pile of bodies, brows raised because it’s been a long time and he still hadn’t changed. He still wore the exact same fitted black shirt that looked like it would rip into pieces at each of his movements, which to your surprise, never did. “Still as messy as ever, huh?” you clicked your tongue, bunching your dress up with your fists as you stepped over the bodies, making sure not to slip from the sea of blood. “Jeez. You’re not even the least bit concerned about the cleaners.”

“Sweetheart,” he crooned, mirroring your smug expression as he jumped down his throne of corpses, roughly tilting your chin up so you could look him in the eye.

Even with high heels, Toji effortlessly towered over you, reminding you again and again of the strength difference. Though you held your ground pretty well, and he knew this too, otherwise he wouldn’t have struggled so much in his mercenary work the moment you came.

“It’s so nice to see you again – or is that what you wanted me to say?” Your lips stretched for a sinister laugh, Toji beating you to it when his strong hands came to wrap around your neck, slamming you on the wall hard enough he blurred in your vision for a moment. You kept chuckling through the lack of air, tongue darting out to lick the blood of his knuckles. Toji growled, “Don’t think I’ve forgotten what you’ve done to me, bitch. You ruined my pretty face with those nails of yours.”

“Can’t blame a woman, Toji, you weren’t letting me cum.”

“To be fair, you were leaving me after you killed all my clients when I kindly asked you to keep your hands to yourself,” Toji sneered, head darting down to rip the diamond necklace Noritoshi got you onto the ground. You whined upon seeing the crystals scatter onto the floor, millions worth now dipped in blood. What a fucking shame. “But you’ve always been a naughty little minx, aren’t you? You just can’t keep your hands off of beautiful men.”

“Trust me, Toji, what’s inside their pockets are a lot prettier than faces,” you giggled as your hand came up to trace the scar on his lips, eyes narrowed into appreciative slits. “Nothing would ever be prettier than this.”

“Is it still a face you want to sit on?”

“Fuck, yes,” you admitted, pushing yourself off the wall to wrap your legs around him.

The momentum took Toji by surprise, forgetting that you were just as strong as him as he staggered two steps backwards. His grip tightened on your hip to steady you both, the sharp blade of his weapon poking against your thigh threateningly.

It didn’t bother you, and you only nuzzled your nose against his almost affectionately, staring him in the eyes as you mumbled, “I fucking missed you.”

“Then why did you leave?” he grunted while grinding you down on his cock, hissing for a split second when your killer heels dug into his lower back. He could feel blood leaking from how the shoe pierced him, but he made no move to push you away, enticing you to kiss the corners of his lips to worship his scar. He was so beautiful, sinfully gorgeous that you always lost your mind around him.

He was your end, your ruin, your destruction – and you left in a poor attempt to keep your heart safe.

“How long has it been since I had my hands on you, huh, pretty thing? Six months, maybe more? Time gets so blurry when I’m not buried in your tight cunt,” Toji buried his nose in the crook of your neck, using the blade of his sword to tear your dress open, leaving your lower half revealed to him.

“Oh, you asshole, that was expensive!”

“Don’t give a fuck, baby,” he rolled his eyes, and of course he didn’t. Toji wasn’t any better than you; both your minds were always clouded and hazy with sex. “You smell different. Got another man?”

“Hmm, and he’s much better than you are,” Your words ticked Toji off, knowing full well he always hated it whenever you poked at his ego. Toji was a man of many things, and every time you implied that he wasn’t something, you could expect that he would fuck you so hard you wouldn’t be able to feel your legs for days. Now that was exactly what you wanted, so you kept going, your nails travelling under his shirt to leave more scratches at his already ruined back – all thanks to you. “He’s rich, classy, handsome, praises me instead of calls me a little slut—”

“Aren’t you?”

“I am,” you agreed shamelessly with a sultry laugh, looking back at him with a devious glint in your eye. “But I like being worshipped every now and then.”

“Haven’t I done that enough? You talk as if I never made you feel good.”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, nothing can still compare to your cock, Toji,” Your other hand shoved itself down his pants to feel him, soft pants leaving those pretty mouth of yours when felt his cock bare, the tip already wet with pre-cum.

Of fucking course Toji executed his missions on commando mode – he couldn’t be bothered to keep his fat cock imprisoned.

“But he’s richer. And he’s willing to marry me, breed me until I’m swollen with his children and pamper me afterwards. He’s willing to make me his.”

“You fucking slut,” Toji shoved his tongue inside your mouth, the moans spilling from your lips to his only encouraging him to align his huge length onto your already dripping cunt – always so wet and ready to be filled by him – before he slammed you all the way down. The sudden stretch had you biting on his tongue to muffle your moan, Toji’s hands bruising as he cupped your ass. Toji clenched his jaw upon feeling your walls embrace him warmly, his breaths ragged and faint.

It made your chest swell with pride at the thought that only you could make the infamous Fushiguro Toji this disarranged.

“What is it with you sticking to alpha males all the fucking time?”

“A princess wants her throne beside a handsome prince, Toji. Just because your family didn’t like you, doesn’t mean mine did too. I grew up being told fairy tales while you ran rampant in the streets,” you bit back, the sinister laugh painting the blood red walls dark because you knew Toji better than anyone, and one of the things that always set him off like a bomb was the mention of his abusive family.

You couldn’t wait to see how he would ruin you, and you moaned loudly when Toji grabbed your jaw until your cheeks were squished, the cold of his blade held against your throat sending a shiver down your spine.

“Are you the slightest bit aware of how much I want to kill you right now? Slice your lovely neck and fuck you while you suffocate in your own blood?” You gasped as you felt warm liquid slowly bleed out from the slightest cut, your blood sliding down your chest and under the leftover materials of your dress. Toji used his bare hands to rip the dress apart, your tits bouncing the moment they were freed from its confines.

The guttural groan that echoed from his throat was pure animalistic, similar to the carnal thrusts of his dick that pummelled into you. He pushed you flat on your back until your skin pricked with the shards of glass on the bar countertops, the pain only adding to your pleasure.

Toji kept you locked underneath his arm, his hands choking the air out of you while you clenched around him repeatedly, your walls sucking him in tight enough that Toji lost rhythm in his thrusts. “Only you would like that, Toji,” you choked out in a broken gasp, the man above you growling when you picked up a broken wine glass to push his hands off of you.

Blood coated both your bodies as Toji drove his dick deeper, hitting all the spots that only he could ever reach.

“I’m a man of rare taste.”

“So fucking rare,” you teased. Toji’s middle finger and thumb met once they wrapped around your neck, pulling you off the table to bounce you on his cock, using only his masculine virility and raw strength to fuck you good.

The sudden change of position had the tip of his cock pressing into your most sensitive spots, Toji’s angry grunts sinful yet so erotic as your bumpy walls kissed the veins of his cock.

Toji suddenly wrapped an arm under your breasts, flipping you over until you were met by the sight of Noritoshi standing still outside his VIP room, his gun aimed at the both of you. “Uh-uh – I wouldn’t do that if I were you, pretty boy,” he warned, his words taking a huge hit on Noritoshi when his arm wavered. “One cut is all I need and your lovely fiancé’s body would be swimming in her own blood. Now, you wouldn’t want to waste such a beauty, right?”

“Y/N!” he suddenly dropped his gun, hands raised in surrender beside his head. If Toji wasn’t driving his dick like a fucking animal, you would’ve broken Noritoshi’s nose, ashamed that he surrendered so easily. Noritoshi’s dark eyes turned to Toji’s, heat seeping off of him in waves. “I will never forgive you for what you’re doing!”

“Wasn’t asking for forgiveness, shorty,” Toji pressed, using two fingers to split your lips open, giving Noritoshi the show of his life as Toji’s fat cock stretched you open completely, your puffy lips wrapped around his swollen length.

You knew you looked so dirty right now, skin covered in blood, wearing nothing but your black heels that accentuated your legs while Toji split your body in half.

A strangled moan was pulled from you when Toji hitched one of your legs, his arm hooked behind your knee, completely exposing yourself to Noritoshi. Even though you couldn’t see yourself, the squelching of your pussy taking in Toji’s cream filled dick was so pornographic you couldn’t help the heightening of your arousal, breasts bouncing as Toji kept up his relentless pounding.

“Come on, sweetheart, let him see how much I’m stretching you out. Watch as she loses herself around my fact cock like the fucking whore she is,” Toji laughed, silencing your incoherent fucked out mumbled by shoving a thumb through your lips, smearing your lipstick to the side as if you weren’t a mess already.  “Oh, look at his face. You don’t mean to tell me he doesn’t know how filthy you are, huh, sweetheart?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“What the fuck did you say to me?” Toji slapped your ass, your walls clenching around him on instinct. Noritoshi’s eyes widened when you only moaned in response, the blissful smile on his ace rendering him silent. “Not so threatening now, huh, Kamo?” Toji leered, snickering at the apparent tent growing in your fiance’s pants.

It was absolutely sickening that he got off at the sight of his pretty little fiancé be used by some other man, but Toji respected all kinks, even if he didn’t have much respect for Noritoshi to begin with.

“Come on, sweetheart. Scream for me. Say my fucking name like you always used to. Let’s show this pretty boy here how awful you are before he regrets being with you,” Toji snapped his hips harder into you, causing you to see stars that mixed with the sight of Noritoshi falling onto his knees, your name a plead for his lips.

Toji’s cock only twitched at the sight of seeing someone so helpless, to see the infamous powerful Kamo leader beg for Toji to save you and let you go.

He always knew he had a begging kink, but he didn’t think it would come in this form.

“T-Toshi—” you moaned out, eyes snapped shut. You couldn’t think anymore, the only sounds filling your ears were Noritoshi’s cries and Toji’s ragged pants in your ear, his hand pressing down on the apparent bulge of your lower stomach every time he bottomed out.

“I said, say my fucking name.”

“Toji, Toji, fuck!” you leaned backwards and placed your head on his shoulder while he grabbed your hair to kiss you, that familiar heat beginning to form in your core. Unable to help it, your moans fell left and right, loud enough that it drowned out Noritoshi’s pleads. Toji laughed at both of you – called you the dumbest lovers alive – so he kissed you, more tongue and teeth than lips, his thrusts sloppy and desperate. “Oh, oh fuck, yes, yes, right there, oh!”

“You can never fuck her like I do. You can never make her feel good like I do. See how she’s moaning so pretty for me? You can never have her.”

“You’re so fucking unfair,” you cried out, hands tugging at his hair. Toji never let up for even a moment as his thrusts slowed; the new pace he set slow yet deep. Toji pulled out his cock slowly to make you feel him inch by inch, your walls licking at his cock vein by vein until only the tip was left inside, before thrusting full into you in one swift movement of his hips. “You can’t just break up with me and – fuck – tell me I can’t be with others.”

“I own you, sweetheart – I’m your personal disaster,” Toji taunted, large hands groping at your breast when your eyes snapped open, his last final thrusts turning your pussy to mush.

You came around him, hard and overwhelmingly so. Your hands wrapped around his bicep to steady your shaking legs, his name spoken like a prayer with malicious tone as if to curse him. Toji pushed you off his cock until you fell on the floor, his rough hands grabbing at your jaw again to face him, thick spurts of his cum painting your face.

Taking them all in like a good girl, Toji swiped his length over the slope of your nose and pushed the still hard cock through your lips. His hands gripped your head tight as he fucked into your mouth, nothing but anger shown through that scarred face while your jaw fell slack and sore.

“And I’ll break you over and over again until you’re reminded that you’re mine.”

[cassandraclare]

The Letter Game (in full)

Many have asked to read last week’s letter game in a slightly simpler format. So here it is, for everyone’s enjoyment in plain text, under the cut. The action takes place between Chain of Gold and Chain of Iron. Read on . . .

1: INVITATION

To all and sundry—

The leaves are changing, and with them the season. It grows colder in London by the day, and even without the pestilence that recently ravaged us, even without demons breathing down our necks, cold with chill—now is the time for all good Shadowhunters to come to one another’s aid, and support one another in that most hallowed Nephilim tradition: song and dance.

So, a Musicale! The Townsends are pleased to invite the Enclave, in toto, to our West End home this Friday’s eve. Refreshments will of course be served, but the entertainment will be provided by you, our esteemed guests and friends. We would be so honored if you would help us welcome the coming of winter by bringing your most excellent capers and ballads, to keep us warm.

Grahame and Millie Townsend

2: Lucie » Cordelia

Cordelia, my sister, the very twin of my own heart,

Can you believe the Townsends’ invitation? How pretentious can one be, I ask you! It took all four Herondales an hour of discussion to conclude that “Friday’s eve” meant simply Friday evening rather than the eve before Friday (that is, Thursday). And is the demons or our necks that are meant to be cold with chill? “Cold with chill!” As a writer of words—no, even only as a reader of words—I am offended.

I digress, however. I write to ask whether you will be attending, as that will be significant to my own decision of whether to go. I asked James, and he was unenthused but “supposed” that “we must.” So I wish to let you know that if you don’t fancy attending, I believe James could be easily convinced. But, as unpleasant a night as it promises, I fear he may be correct that “we must.” You and he, after all, must do the social rounds as a betrothed pair, and I—well, I can hardly sit alone in my bedroom all night while all my friends witness Catherine Townsend’s cold-blooded murder of “O mio babbino caro.” 

So whatever your preference, I will be amenable. We can put on our frills and watch the most foolish of our set warble and prance, and at least we will have each other’s company and champagne. Or, if you’d prefer, tea and draughts in the Institute parlour. I am yours to command, my warrior-sister.

(I have realized only at this moment that perhaps you not only wish to attend but to perform yourself; if that is the case, I retract all previous mentions of warbling in favor of my unconditional enthusiastic support. I will even accompany you, if you wish, but I am not very good at the spinnet so please, something fairly slow would be best.)

Yours ever across the still waters of time and space,

L. Herondale

3: Ariadne » Anna

Dear Miss Lightwood,

I expect that you will have received the same invitation to the Townsends’ Musicale that the rest of the Enclave has. I write with the question of whether it’s your intention to attend, and to say that I hope that you will, and that I hope to see you there.

It’s not your sort of party, of course—dull, bourgeois, and stuffy, I imagine you’d say—but since as the daughter of the Inquisitor I am rarely able to appear at the more lively gatherings that you prefer, I do plan to attend myself, much as I would rather be elsewhere. (At one of those lively gatherings, perhaps?) Catherine will have my head if I am not there to keep her mother out of her hair, for one thing, and for another…well, I wish to see you.

I have it on fairly good authority that your brother and his roisterous band, or whatever they call themselves, are planning to be there. So I also write to implore you to come so that a cooler head will be present and any explosions, or implosions, or indeed bedlam of any kind, will be, if not prevented, at least more easily contained and cleaned up after.

For the event I am thinking of a dress I have, in a deep ruby color, with a rather striking neckline. I am no great judge of my own appearance, but I do know your taste and I daresay you will find it flatters me. For your part, I hope you will wear those pinstriped trousers you have. You have not worn them in an age, and I miss them, or rather, I miss how elegantly you wear them.

In short, I hope to see you there.

I know it is not your habit to keep letters from admirers, but rather to use them to kindle your fireplace. Perhaps that will be the destiny of this note as well, but I believe not. I come to you not as an admirer, after all, but as a friend, and one who wishes you all the best things in the world—

Yrs.,

Ariadne Bridgestock

4: Anna » Matthew

Mr. Fairchild—

Matthew, I have instructed the courier bringing you this note to evaluate your sobriety and, if it is found wanting, to slap you across the face twice. Straighten up and pay attention, you debauched fool. It’s still breakfast-time. And this is important.

Are you going to the Townsends’ musicale? 

Let me rephrase: if you know what’s good for you, you will be going to the Townsends’ musicale.

I hope to enjoy your company there, of course, as my friend and companion. But also, to be frank, I will need the support. My night was free and so I told them I would be there, but I wasn’t thinking, and now I’ve received a note from one A.B., letting me know in no uncertain terms that she will definitely be attending as well. It will be a large gathering, no doubt, and most of our time will be spent watching Thoby Baybrook chase after the juggling-balls he keeps dropping during his performance, rather than close-quarters socializing. But—and I trust in your confidence on this matter—I find I flutter with nerves. Imagine. I never flutter!

I hope I can count on you. I am not usually in the business of begging favors. However, this is an unusual situation. Matthew: she will be wearing the burgundy dress.

Anna

5: Ariadne » Matthew

To Matthew Fairchild—

All right, I’ve sent the letter. Against my better judgment, I should add. It seems more likely to drive her away than to attract her, to be honest, but you have her confidence in ways that I no longer do. If you think she is more likely to be there as a result, I will trust in your plan.

However.

I am fully aware that under most circumstances neither she nor you would be found as such a dreary party as an Enclave-wide musicale. (Nor would I, but as the daughter of the, et cetera et cetera, I hardly need to tell you.) So let this note serve as, not a threat, but a promise: if you even think about ditching the party for one of your Downworlder orgies, or whatever your usual scene, and you leave me and her to awkward politesse over stale canapes without showing up yourself…I will follow you to the ends of the Earth and your life will be forfeit. Forfeit, Fairchild. I daresay I can best you in a duel three times out of four, but also be assured I am very good with a dagger in the dark.

I look forward to enjoying this merry entry in the social season with you. I will see you there.

Yours sincerely,

Ariadne Bridgestock

6: Matthew » Cordelia

C,

No, that won’t do at all. There are already other C’s. Christopher, for instance. Also Caiaphas, a werewolf from whom I sometimes purchase wine. (He has an excellent nose, you see.)

Cordelia Carstairs, you need not worry about the Townsends’ party. First, none of Our Lot are planning to perform at all, but merely hang back and watch the festivities while imbibing and filling seats. You certainly shouldn’t worry that you’ll be asked to dance as you did at the Ruelle. This will not be the Ruelle. It will be far more insipid.

I’m sure J is focused entirely on your responsibilities as an engaged couple to make the rounds and be seen by the whey-faced provincials of the Enclave. He is correct, as always, the bastard, but he worries too much. Rest assured that we Thieves will be concocting a plan in which we are able to (1) have a good time at the most boring gathering of the season and (2) not miss cake. (I don’t know if you have had cake at the Townsends’. They are a tedious family, but their cook is some kind of confection-obsessed elf who performs great conjurings with spun sugar and buttercream.) (Yes, he really is an elf, I think. Or Catherine was having me on. His ears are fairly pointed, in any event.)

I do not particularly anticipate this musicale with great pleasure, but I do, of course, anticipate the opportunity to spend time in your presence with great relish. Truly, my parabatai could not have picked a more suitable bride with whom to be mutually bored to tears at parties for years to come. I suggest that for this one you bring a flask to tuck into your reticule. If you don’t, worry not; I will bring two. At least two.

I remain, as always, yours sincerely, etc etc,

Matthew Fairchild

7: James » Thieves

CONFIDENTIAL—DO NOT DISTRIBUTE—ON PAIN OF TORTURE—THIS MEANS YOU

Merriest of Thieves,

After extensive discussion, we’ve reached consensus (or as close as we will come) on our plan for Having Fun At the Townsends’ Musicale Even Though It Is a Musicale Hosted By the Townsends. (A variety of alternate names were proposed, but all have been vetoed by the plan’s organizer, that is, myself. Please do not continue to send proposed names, Matthew.)

Our esteemed colleague Christopher has, it seems, been working in his spare time on a new method of rapidly sending written messages without the use of couriers. Instead, messages are sent with a combination of runes (so bring your steles) and a propellant of Christopher’s own invention. I’m told that the technique is not yet flawless, but Mr Lightwood reports that it is ready to be shown and tested, and what better place than a party at which missing the main entertainment would be not disappointing, but rather a great relief.

Down a corridor from the Townsends’ main parlour is a small games room. I say games room, but in truth it is empty of games, and nobody ever uses it. It is windowless and a bit close, but mostly empty of furnishings and a suitable location for a scientific demonstration. Even better, the corridor itself departs the parlour with a dog-leg, and once one has passed around the corner, one is invisible to the notice of the other partygoers. (See attached floor plan of the first storey of the house; thanks to TL for his freehand drafting skills.)

This plan assumes that none of you are planning to perform in the musicale itself; if this is not the case, then MF wishes me to remind you both of your loyalties and to the overall philistine-like qualities of most of the guests.

Surely this will provide sufficient entertainment to get us all through the evening.

The party is only one days away, so if there are any questions about this plan, please hiss them to me sotto voce tomorrow night while Millie Townsend is performing her murder ballads.

Courage, half a league, half a league onward, and so on,

James H

PS: For those whose main draw to this party is Morgaint’s famous Victoria sponge, Christopher assures me that we should be done well in time for dessert. (I should add a warning that it should not be referred to as a Victoria sponge within earshot of Morgaint, as he will lecture you at length about the recipe’s preceding Victoria by centuries, the history of confection in pre-Roman Britain, and so on. He is very temperamental, even for a faerie.)

8: Thomas » Alastair

Dear Mr Carstairs—

We have not spoken in many weeks, presumably as a result of the unfortunate circumstances under which we last met. Nevertheless, I write this evening to extend my wishes for your family’s continued health and good fortune.

As I’m sure you know, this Friday marks an Enclave-wide social event at the home of the Mr and Mrs Townsend. I know that your sister will be in attendance, with her fiancé. The Lightwoods—Eugenia, Anna, Christopher, and myself—are also planning to be there. And, of course, we expect the family of our esteemed Consul, including both of her sons, to make an appearance.

Shall we expect to see you there? I ask merely because if so, I will not be attending. I understand that as your family will be there you have every right to attend, so I am happy to be the one who bows out of the evening.

Yours sincerely,

Mr T. Lightwood

9: Alastair » Thomas

Mr Lightwood

Tom

Look, you,

I am amazed and impressed by the effrontery of you writing to me to ask whether I will be attending an event only to them tell me that if I attend, you will not. No doubt you are feeling aggrieved about the last time we met. Well, so am I.  Jests and pranks from our schoolboy years are hardly a good enough reason for the kind of public humiliation I suffered, both from Matthew Fairchild’s rude outburst and your own. The very thought of attending a party with the likes of you sends me into a mixture of, on the one hand, paroxysms of helpless laughter, and on the other, a thumping headache of barely contained fury that I

[letter discarded, not sent]

Mr Lightwood,

Thank you for your kind letter.  I am, of course, aware of the upcoming affair at the home of the Townsends, through the usual means of receiving my own request to attend. It would seem to me obvious that I had no need of being informed about the party as though I would otherwise be ignorant of it. Unlike some of the London Shadowhunter families, the Townsends have only ever been courteous to the Carstairs family, and the implication that I wouldn’t have received exactly the same invitation that you did is exactly the kind of nonsense that

[letter discarded, not sent]

Thomas,

I won’t be attending the Townsends’ musicale, as I am already committed to a preferable previous engagement cleaning out the pigeon cages in the Regent’s Park Zoo.

Thank you for thinking of me.

Receipt of your letter is hereby acknowledged.

I don’t know why you would write to me at all, but please do not write back to try to explain.

[letter discarded, not sent]

Thomas,

I do want to apologize, I have tried to apologize, but every time I come near you a wall of your friends prevents me from doing so. You can hardly hold it against me that I have not apologized when you will not allow me to do so. Yes, I know what I did rises far above the level of a jest or a prank. But one must be allowed to make amends somehow, for otherwise what is there? Hopelessness? Not I suppose that you care much what I feel. Just because you are beloved of your friends, and ridiculously tolerably handsome, you think —

[Letter discarded, not sent]

10: Cordelia » James

J—

Do you need rescuing? Everyone is in the games room for Christopher’s demonstration, even Thomas, who has spent most of the evening hiding from my brother. You on the other hand have been waylaid in the corner with Mrs Whatshername. I tried to get close enough to intervene but was swept away myself by Mr Townsend, who wanted to tell me about his travels in the Levant when he was a younger man. Could not tell if he was confused about my family’s origins or he simply assumed anyone would be fascinated by his tales of camels and pyramids. Anyway, M suggests he could interrupt and scold you for ignoring your betrothed. Lucie says you are ignoring your betrothed, but don’t listen to her, I know you are far too polite to interrupt a member of the older set. (If you yourself remember, please remind me of her name when you come.) 

Come as soon as you can. Do not allow Mrs Whatshername to follow you.

Daisy

11: Christopher » Thieves

To: James, Lucie, Matthew, Thomas, Cordelia, Anna, Ariadne

From: Christopher

In an ideal world, I would have been able to send you this note through this very technique I am demonstrating tonight, but it does make a fairly loud bang, and I thought that would likely give the game away. Though I wish to not allow social proprieties to impede the progress of science, I have been reminded by several of you that discretion can be the better part of valor. Although I admit I can’t think of any personal examples where that would be the case.

In the games room I have piled a supply of protective spectacles, which I suggest you wear. There is no danger of damage to your eyes, but there may be some very bright flashes. In addition, the propellant which I will be using to send the message is an experimental mixture, similar to those I have tried in the past but not exactly the same. There is a very very small chance that inhalation of its fumes may cause some temporary effects to the mind, so I recommend that you hold a handkerchief over your nose and mouth during the demonstration. To be clear, I don’t think that any of these effects would have any negative impact on our ability to return to the party and attend the musical performances afterwards. At worst, it may make those performances seem more enjoyable than they would otherwise.

12: James » Townsends

Dear Mr and Mrs Townsend,

On behalf of myself, my family, my fiancée, and my fellows, I wished to extend sincerest apologies for departing your lovely gathering without saying proper goodbyes. Your musicale was, as all would have expected, a smashing success, with performances across the board demonstrating the falsehood of the common claim that the Nephilim are unable to produce works of art. Surely your daughter Catherine’s rendition of Puccini’s famous aria could stand alongside the finest professionals to be found in the Royal Albert Hall.

As you discovered along with the rest of the guests, Christopher Lightwood wished to use the opportunity of having us all present to demonstrate the state of his newest invention. I’m told that when it is completed, it will utterly revolutionize the way that Shadowhunters are able to communicate with one another, obviating the need for the runners, couriers, and use of the mundane Royal Mail to send messages to one another. Instead we will have a fully self-contained rune-based method. Surely anyone would agree that such a development would be well worth whatever growing pains the process of invention and experimentation might create.

As you also discovered, Mr Lightwood’s demonstration took an unexpected turn, with a good amount of his customized propellant being released into your games room and corridors. Luckily, it was a mild evening, and open windows as well as the vigorous fanning of the doors by Thomas Lightwood and Ariadne Bridgestock quickly dispersed the gasses.

That said, neither I nor my companions are able to account for an interval of roughly ninety minutes between the end of the demonstration and our departure from your house. To that end, it seems that we were sadly lacking in good manners by failing to thank you for your warm hospitality at the time. Again, please accept our deepest apologies, and our thanks for that hospitality, even if it has been delivered discourteously late. 

Warmest regards,

James Herondale

13: Matthew » James

Jamie,

Good Lord, what was in that stuff of Christopher’s? Do you know if there will be any lasting effects? I hesitate to ask Kit, he seems too dismayed.

Also, I am trying to find out to whom exactly I owe an apology for specific behaviors that might have happened after the demonstration. I seem to have lost more than an hour from my memory, as well as my waistcoat and a garnet ring of which I was quite fond. Any thoughts you have would be appreciated.

Matthew

14: Lucie » James

James,

I have been expecting to hear from Matthew, but as it has been most of a day and I haven’t yet, can you please let him know that I will make myself available to be apologized to during teatime, either tomorrow or the next day. Please also tell him that I will be sending along a bill for the costs of cleaning arrack out of the skirt of my dress. For such a prodigious consumer of spirits, you would think he would have learned not to slosh them around so much when he talks. I suppose Christopher’s propellant takes some of the blame, but honestly, Shadowhunters are trained in agility and dexterity and even under the influence of one of Christopher’s experiments he should be able to, at very least, not slosh so.

Lucie

15: Cordelia » Anna

Dear Anna,

The last hour or so of the party was something of a blur for all of us, I think. But I feel confident in assuring you that both you and Ariadne acted with all due propriety, and that at no point did you “make an ass of yourself,” as you put it, either out among all the guests or in the games room. 

Also, when next you speak to Ariadne, please compliment her on her lovely dress. It suited her quite well! I wondered if you were responsible for finding it for her? You do have such an excellent eye for what colors and cuts will flatter. 

Anyway, do not worry. I have made some private inquiries, and nobody took note of any unusual behavior on the part of either yourself or Miss Bridgestock. (In fact, Rosamund seemed to be under the impression that you were shamelessly flirting with her. I can confirm that you were not and that Rosamund simply has an odd way about her.)

Are we still on for tea Wednesday? Let me know if not and otherwise I will see you then.

Cordelia Carstairs

16:  Townsends » Everybody

For the attention of: 

James Herondale

Lucie Herondale

Matthew Fairchild

Thomas Lightwood

Anna Lightwood 

Christopher Lightwood

Alastair Carstairs

Cordelia Carstairs

On behalf of not just our own family, but the parental generation of the Enclave more generally, we wish to communicate our displeasure with your behavior at our soirée on Friday’s eve. You are all adults or near-enough, under Nephilim Law, and so you should be held to account as any adults would be. And you should be ashamed of yourselves.

Given the influence had by many of your families, and the small size of the London Enclave, we cannot bar you from all of our future events. If only we could. We will, however, be more careful in future about shutting off access to rooms in our house that are not intended for use by party guests.

Rather than taking the time to craft individual complaints, we hereby itemize the most obvious of our grievances, so that you may all have your behavior exposed to one another. Certainly none of you deserve to have your actions kept private.

Alastair: We were glad to see you eventually arrive, though there is a wide difference between “fashionably late” and the hour you appeared. (Just in time for the desserts, we note.) Also, the song you performed was highly inappropriate for the ladies present, especially the unmarried ones, such as our daughter, and also your own sister.

Lucie: While we have always supported your hobby of writing down entertaining tales, and we understand that the storyteller’s art does involve artistic creativity, your ongoing, strident, melodramatic narration of the events following the Christopher Lightwood Incident was not appreciated by us or, especially, Mrs Rosewain, who you referred to throughout as “Mrs Whatshername.” 

James: Your interruption of the cake serving to declare your undying devotion to your true love was a gallant gesture. It might, however, have gone over better had you not pledged your troth to a portrait in oils of our ancestral matriarch, Frideswide Townsend. Your taste is admirable, of course, and she was considered a great beauty. It is unfortunate for your affections that she passed away in the late sixteenth century.

Anna: We would thank you to come by and pick up your brother from our house at some point. He has been muttering to himself, fiddling with a pencil and paper, and threatening “another test, much improved.” Please retrieve him post-haste.

 Thomas: We don’t know how you made the acquaintance of that vampire who attempted to accompany all of the performers on his dulcimer, but he is not welcome back to our house, and if we see him again, neither are you.

Matthew: Whatever was in that bottle you were plying to my mother, we only found her this morning, napping on our roof. When we woke her she said it was of a greenish color and asked for more of it. We would be obliged if you could bring another bottle by, at your convenience.

Cordelia: Your demonstration of the supernatural sharpness of your sword was very impressive, even if it was not in the spirit of the kinds of performance we expected for a musicale. It is, however, not all that surprising that it was able to cut through our drapes, a dining-room chair, or the sponge cake. We spoke to your brother, and he suggested that we should feel free to send an invoice for replacement costs to the Herondale family, since soon enough you will be their trouble, and not his.

In short, you have all behaved abominably, and are, each and every one of you, embarrassments to your various hallowed family names. 

We hope you will join us the Thursday after next, for boating and luncheon in Hyde Park.

Mr and Mrs Graham Townsend

[little-mouse-gardens]

You make your bed? Yes, I do make my bed. Particularly when I first get up because the sheets get tangled up with my legs and it drives me nuts

What’s your favorite number? My favorite number is twenty two, based on a favorite childhood song of mine and because twenty two has always been a lucky number for me

What’s your job? I currently do not have one

If you could go back to school would you? Nope. My experience with school was…very chaotic and pretty rough, in all honesty I would never want to go through that again

Can you parallel park? Nope, but I am learning!

A job you had that would surprise others? I haven’t technically had a job yet

Do you think aliens are real? Yes, at least based on the evidence and eye witness accounts I’ve heard about and read through

Can you drive a manual car? I am Currently learning to drive with one

What’s your guilty pleasure? Nothing, I’m pretty open and honest about things that make me happy, the only one I can technically say is a guilty pleasure is sugar cookies. The frosted ones you get from the store are my fav

Tattoos? None but I hope to get one soon

Favorite color? Pastel yellow

Favorite type of music? Pop, rock or jazz

Do you like puzzles? Yes!

Any phobias? Arachnophobia the way I will literally be climbing the walls to get away from a spider if I see one crawling near me

Favorite childhood sport? Horseback riding, I’ve been around horses most of my life. horses are one of my favorite animals and horseback riding is honestly very fun and relaxing

Do you talk to yourself? Mostly when I’m alone or relaxing in my bedroom and trying to come up with writing or oc ideas

What movies do you adore? Ooo! Hmm let’s see…the bat (an old slasher/murder mystery film), the Rottmnt movie, the last unicorn, watership down, a nightmare before Christmas, secret of Nimh, the original Halloween movie, all of the tmnt movies, bolt, avatar & avatar way of water

Coffee or tea? Hmmm, honestly I prefer coffee but mainly in the morning, at night I prefer tea or juice

First thing you wanted to be when you grew up? a fashion designer

Tagging : @saltydoesstuff @souperwrites @gornackeaterofworlds @fishsticksloser and anyone else who would like to participate! ^W^

@themetalbabygirl you're a gem for always tagging me 💜

do you make your bed? — Only if there are people coming over!

what's your favorite number? — 6 or 8. They're my dad's lucky numbers and I was assigned the number 6 as my number but I've always liked them both, haha.

what is your job? — Currently I am a full-time MA student and a TA on the side.

if you could go back to school, would you? — Baby, I'm still in school. I am terrified to graduate and have to live in the real world!

can you parallel park? — Yes!

a job you had that would surprise people? — This summer I worked in a Christian senior care home despite being not religious and very not straight.

do you think aliens are real? — Most likely. Do I think I'll live to meet one? No.

can you drive a manual car? — Haha no.

what's your guilty pleasure? — Sugary snacks. I know I need to eat healthier, but they're so yummy.

tattoos? — Not now, and probably not ever but who knows.

favorite color? — Orange, Pink and purple (sunset colors, tbh)

favorite type of music? — I like a lot of stuff! Musical theatre, pop, rock, metal, indie... It all depends on whatever mood I'm in!

do you like puzzles? — I have grown to like them, yes.

any phobias? — Needles, ugh. Also, getting pregnant and spiders freak me out to.

favorite childhood sport? — Uh... does theatre count as a sport?

do you talk to yourself? — All the time. I'm one of those wierdos.

what movies do you adore? — Lilo & Stitch; Tick, Tick, Boom; The Spiderverse films; Nemona; and In The Heights are a few!

coffee or tea? — Coffee in the morning, tea in the evening.

first thing you wanted to be when you grew up? — A cat.

@artbysarf @ladypok3 @rallentando1011 get tagged, bitches

[kitsu-katsu]

Wilbur’s character traits that many forget or ignore in their “hot takes”:

So, this post is made to compile a list of things important to Wilbur’s character that many forget, remain ignorant to or ignore when making posts, writing fics, theorizing or a long list of etc in fandom activity.

I will provide quotes to every point I can, at the very least I will provide arguments for every point if just a quote doesn’t cut it.

(Quotes from @kateis-cakeis, go to his blog, he’s a legend)

Actual post under the cut

-Wilbur cares. A LOT.

He considered giving up on L’manburg to spare bloodshed, which is something most of the fandom forgets:

“Basically, we have such a lower opportunity here that we probably just need to accept the conditions of surrender, just so we can save any more bloodshed, any more destruction on our land. They’ve entrapped our land, they’ve set up bombs on our land, they’ve destroyed all our homes. To stop any more bloodshed, I feel I would be a bad general if I didn’t look for conditions of surrender.” - (Wilbur’s The Revolution is Coming: 30:32, 2nd Aug)

“Tommy, we need you alive. Tommy, this isn’t worth it. Tommy, your life is worth more than the revolution.” - (Wilbur’s The Revolution is Coming: 34:57:, 2nd Aug)

“What has made you do everything you’ve done up to this point?” (Quackity)

“That’s a- That’s a big question. Um. I guess it’s just protection for my people. I mean, I- I- I just want to see them thrive, and I want to see them safe.” (Alivebur)

- (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:03:02, 12th Apr)

“‘Cause, I mean, we were the, we just kinda made ourselves the leaders, and then, and now we had a vote, and he won, in a coalition government, which was completely legal, and now we’re trying to overthrow him. It feels like we’re the bad guys, Tommy. This doesn’t feel correct.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:08:34, 8th Oct)

“Look, do you know how long and how much blood was shed to get L’Manberg to the point it was at? You know what would happen if we manage to get L’Manberg back again? More blood would be shed, and we would be the illegitimate rulers of a nation.” - (Wilbur’s video Am I the Villain?: 18:52)

“I don’t think everyone will be even once Schlatt’s out of the picture. People will never be even. People will never be even, dude. It’s gonna go on forever. This entire thing is a cycle. Up and down, up and down, just constant.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 4:00, 13th Oct)

“I don’t know. I don’t know if I want it back.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 4:24, 13th Oct)

“It’s what has to be done, man, it’s what has to be done. I was saying this to Tommy, I’ll say it again. If Schlatt loses to us, we’ve still lost. Schlatt’s a smart man, he knows what he’s done. He’s set up things up in such a way, so that our success will actually just cause another cycle of pain and death and destruction, right.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 6:56, 13th Oct)

Him saying that he didn’t care if people got hurt during Pogtopia? That was a lie, something said out of impulsiveness, and was then contradicted by his moment of clarity and him running to sacrifice himself in Niki’s place

“We blow up the entire fucking place to kingdom come. I want no survivors. God help whoever’s caught in the fucking crossfire.” - (Wilbur’s video, Am I The Villain?: 17:52)

“And, I know you’re scared, Tommy, I understand you’re scared. And it’s scary, it’s scary, Tommy, but do you know what? You know what? In a time like this, when a man has nothing to lose, do you know what that means? It means we can do what we want. We have a man on our side who literally rigged our nation with TNT. We can do the same to them. We can rig this festival with TNT. We can kill them all, Tommy. ” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:15:52, 8th Oct)

“Anyone caught in the crossfire is caught in the crossfire. That’s how it goes, you know? - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:41:22, 8th Oct)

“Chat, do I wanna- Chat, do I wanna, do I wanna do it? I’m having second thoughts about the TNT. Chat, I’m having second thoughts about the TNT. Do I wanna kill these people? Seeing that they’re my friends.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 34:09, 16th Oct)

“Tommy, I’m getting second thoughts. These are my friends, I don’t- Do I- I don’t know if I wanna [inaudible].” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 36:17, 16th Oct)

“Just, if you’re gonna kill anyone else, kill me. Don’t kill anyone else here.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:10:53, 16th Oct)

“You sounded like you were gonna murder another person. You sounded like you were gonna go for Niki.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:12:34, 16th Oct)

“Oh, yes, sorry, Niki, you missed that part. I was gonna blow up Manberg, I was gonna completely destroy it in a huge fireball. Look, Niki, come to Pogtopia, you’re safer here. You’re not gonna be hurt by anyone.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:17:59, 16th Oct)

“No you two can escape, I’ll be the… I’ll- I’ll- I’ll be… I’ll be trapped in here…” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 27:27, 17th Oct)

“I don’t, I don’t, I don’t want to kill you two. I don’t want you two to die.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 28:53, 17th Oct)

He wanted to make sure that Niki was ok when they couldn’t quite take her in yet:

“We’re in too much of a hot position right now to take in everyone from every sort of like person we need into our new like cave, so you’re gonna have to hold out in Manberg for a bit longer, is that okay?” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 51:15, 23rd Sep)

He always wanted Tubbo to stay safe:

“Don’t, don’t hold, don’t hold Tubbo accountable, Tommy. He doesn’t know. He just wants to survive.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 31:57, 22nd Sep)

“And whilst I’m not entirely trustful of Tubbo, I still don’t want to see him getting hurt by Schlatt. So, as long as Schlatt’s being nice to him, then I’m gonna keep my cool.” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 37:21, 23rd Sep)

“We don’t hate Tubbo! He’s a spy! It’s fine.” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 1:19:24, 23rd Sep)

“Tubbo, you don’t deserve this fate. You don’t deserve the fate I’m gonna befall everyone here.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 1:17, 13th Oct)

“Tubbo, look, I’m saying- you don’t deserve to- You don’t deserve to meet the same fate as everyone else here, right.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 1:39, 13th Oct)

“Techno’s on our side, he won’t, he won’t, he won’t.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:03:36, 16th Oct)

“He fucking killed Tubbo, he killed Tubbo. He fucking killed Tubbo.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:08:08, 16th Oct)

“You actually murdered Tubbo…” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:09:40, 16th Oct)

“What do you mean you’re on our side, you just murdered Tubbo in front of everyone!” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:15:08, 16th Oct)

He always cared about Tommy but expressed worry about his recklessness hurting them all or just Tommy himself one day:

“Tommy, you’ve learnt from me for so long now. You’ve taken everything I’ve taught you, you’ve watched me debate countless times, you’ve watched me write our declaration of independence, you’ve watched me write our manifesto. Tommy, I believe you will have my beliefs and you’ll be able to voice them properly. But, Tommy, I’m worried that your fire, the fire in your heart will overtake you.” - (Wilbur’s The Election Campaign: 56:39, 8th Sep)

“Wait, Tommy, you’re not actually burning down the forest, that’s literally- That was the one thing Schlatt put on the book he was gonna do. … That’s literally the thing we’re fighting against, Tommy.” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 1:04:15, 23rd Sep)

“Tommy, if you don’t fix the mistake you’ve made here, I don’t know if you’re the right fit for Pogtopia. You’re already aligning yourself with the enemy.” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 1:06:48, 23rd Sep)

“You’re proving yourself to be too much of a loose cannon, Tommy. I literally can’t- I can’t- Look, there is a reason why you are not the president and never will be.” - (Wilbur’s video Am I the Villain?: 05:36)

“Tommy, Tommy, careless talk costs lives, Tommy.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 53:46, 8th Oct)

“Remember when we started L’Manberg, I was pretty sure that was, you know. You are a pretty short-tempted, short-fused kind of an aggressive guy, Tommy. I’m surprised you managed to get this far without killing him, you know?” - (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:28:07, 20th Jan)

“Tommy, you– You can never quite take things as they come, can you? You always gotta ask questions, man. Just, just. Come on, come on, let’s see a smile. Let’s see a smile, Tommy. Come on. Come on, cheer up. Look, you win. Come on. Why you gotta look so sad about everything all the time, man? Turn that frown upside down.” - (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:29:54, 20th Jan)

“I’m proud of you, Tommy. I’m proud of you.” (Alivebur)

“See you soon, Wilbur.” (Tommy)

“See you soon.” (Alivebur)

- (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:34:31, 20th Jan)

He made sure that Tommy wouldn’t be seen as complicit in the TNT plot:

“Look, Tommy, it’s gonna be great, it’s gonna be absolutely wonderful. I know you still don’t agree with it, but like, man, today, let’s just be friends. Let’s be friends today, man. Even if you disagree with me fundamentally, I think after you see how much it puts us in the advantage…” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 9:28, 16th Oct)

“It’s… Tommy, you’re my friend today, okay? You can have your grievances with me later, but today, you’re my friend, you’re my ally. Just stick with me, just get ready. You’re not an accomplice here, you’re just a viewer, you’re a- you watch- You’re a witness! Witness! That’s the word I was looking for. You’re a witness, Tommy, alright.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 16:24, 16th Oct)

“You don’t have to worry, you know, when it comes to the tribunal, when it comes to the Geneva Conventions, you’re in the clear, Tommy, you were just there, you know. Me, however, I’ll take the fall, I’ll take the fall, Tommy. I’m taking off this fucking helmet. Look, I’ll take the fall, Tommy, alright. You just, you just focus on, just, you know, just enjoy the time.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 16:40, 16th Oct)

We also can see some good old Ghostbur caring about Tommy and Tubbo as well:

“Will you still look after me if im alone?” (Tommy)

“I don’t really know why that would change.” (Ghostbur)

- (Tommy’s Streaming before Exile Day: 1:28:44, 3rd Dec)

“So why don’t I pretend- Why don’t we pretend I’m Alivebur?! You can pretend I’m alive still. … And then we can go and make a new nation.” - (Tommy’s Streaming before Exile Day: 1:31:38, 3rd Dec)

“I will follow you, whatever you think we should do. … So, I’ll follow you, wherever you think we should go.” - (Tommy’s Streaming before Exile Day: 1:32:18, 3rd Dec)

You want something more recent about him caring about Tommy? There’s plenty in recent streams too:

“Tommy, do you remember when you got sent into exile? Yeah. I remember. I was there, Tommy, I was there. I was there. I was in the cage of that little ghost’s fucking head. Every single step you and me took-” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 20:23, 5th May)

“Look at me, Tommy. Look me in the eyes. Every single step me and you took, I was there, I was there. I had no control of what was happening, I have no idea what was being said. But, Tommy, I’ll tell you what, if I was there, and if it wasn’t that stupid shell of a ghost instead of me, I would have struck down Dream right where he stood. We would have disembowelled him, we would have disembowelled him together. Together.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 20:42, 5th May)

“Tommy, I’m not, I’m not- I wasn’t blind, I saw what he was doing to you, Tommy. I saw. I saw what he was doing to Tubbo. I saw what he did to me.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 21:08, 5th May)

“Will, this is so cool!” (Tommy)

“Tommy, shut up! I mean, Tommy, come over here. Tommy, come over here, come over here, man. It’s cool, it’s cool, it’s cool. Sorry, I, I-” (Alivebur)

– (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 26:08, 31st May)

"I wanna make a place where we can be safe for once. Tommy, it’s been so long since we’ve felt safe. And man, you deserve it. You’ve been through so much, you’ve done so much. Tommy, you’ve changed the world. And all you have to show for it is some scars and some trauma. Tommy, you deserve this safety and this sanctuary, and that’s what I wanna make with you, and you won’t get it over there. You won’t get it over there.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 40:14, 31st May)

“Remember the pit, Tommy? Remember what happened in the pit. Don’t. Don’t trust people who would have fought you in the pit.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 46:59, 31st May)

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey, don’t come near Tommy, don’t come near Tommy. I see you.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 48:44, 31st May)

“I just don’t want him to hurt you, I just don’t want him to hurt you.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 48:55, 31st May)

“Quackity, I wanna say, I wanna say to you, like, like from here on, as much as we may have our disagreements here, man, I- We’ve gotta leave Tommy outta this. Like, Tommy, I- I’m sorry if we came off a bit strong.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 50:09, 31st May)

“Get out of the way. Stand back, stand back. I don’t- I’m not too, like, fond of this. … I’ll go first, Tommy.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 53:56, 31st May)

“This would be such a good point to just jump off and just end it.” (Tommy)

“No, no! Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, get down. Tommy, get down off the railings. Tommy, get off the railings, man. I-” (Alivebur)

– (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 57:50, 31st May)

“Is there a three-person chair? I don’t want Tommy to be, uh.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 58:18, 31st May)

“Tommy, I’ve got you, don’t worry. I’ve always got you.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 59:19, 31st May)

“I’m excited to show Tommy. What’s you opinion on Tommy?”

“Oh he’s great, Tommy’s awesome.”

“I agree, I agree.”

- (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 51:17, 25th July)

“So it’s obviously based on Hallelujah right? But the thing is, the thing is, Ranboo, right, is that the reason we did it is because Tommy used to sing Hallelujah to the plants.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 8:46, 3rd Aug)

“He used to plant the stuff around the caravan and then to make it grow better, he used to- To make it grow better, my man Tommy- … So, my man Tommy, used to sing to the plants to make them grow better. Uh, and that was the song he used to sing.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 9:14, 3rd Aug)

“So I thought, what a way to honour Tommy, you know, one of the most loyal members of our fair nation, than by naming the song after him, you know? And singing it based on his little, his little muse, you know?” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 9:47, 3rd Aug)

“Tommy’s all of our muse I’d say.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 10:02, 3rd Aug)

“But, you know, it’s, it’s gonna get better, it’s gonna get better and it’s gonna be worth it when I see them smiling, all of them. Tubbo, Jack, Niki, Tommy. Anyone!” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 25:32, 3rd Aug)

“I didn’t even tell Tommy, I lied to Tommy, I’ll be honest. I’m gonna tell him soon that I lied to him because it kinda eats away at me.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:29, 3rd Aug)

“I mean, Tommy’s great and all and he’s here, but I, I feel like, you know, I don’t want to, I don’t want to string him along too much.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 28:36, 3rd Aug)

You want some recent caring about Tubbo too? Well, here you go:

“Dude, it’s- I don’t even know what to say to you, man. It’s like looking into a little mirror. Look, you’re even wearing my suit still.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 14:08, 3rd Aug)

“Holy crap, I saw you briefly, man, when I was resurrected. I remember you super, super briefly. But this is the first time we’ve actually gotten to speak. Okay, I will admit, I was a little bit overwhelmed during that whole thing, you know, it was a bit, it was a bit, you know, I was running across the glass- which thank god its gone, like Jesus, like, this is far more apt.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 14:45, 3rd Aug)

“I’m sorry I wasn’t, you know, entirely on the same page. But, man, I promise you, I’ve calmed down, you know, I’m all, I’m all settled in. I understand, you know, what’s changed, what hasn’t, who’s new, who’s old, you know, who’s still about, you know, who… Who, uh… uh… Who trusts me and stuff.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 15:04, 3rd Aug)

“Super simply, man. I just want to say I- I want to say I’m sorry. For one thing mainly, uh, I’ve been thinking about this for y- Literal years, literal years I’ve been thinking about this. Uh, I’m sorry for, uh, I’m sorry for making you president specifically before blowing it up. And I’m sorry for when I did this and blew all this up and making this hole, I’m sorry that I, uh, I said you were the president of a crater. I just want to say that I’m sorry, I’m really, really sorry.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 15:56, 3rd Aug)

“Tubbo, this is probably the best gift I’ve ever been given. Just this knowledge, that you actually cared enough to rebuild this community after it fell.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 19:26, 3rd Aug)

“Tubbo. I have… a little thing going. It’s not big, it’s nothing much yet! You know, it’s just- It’s not a big deal! You know? It’s, uh, it’s a little burger van at the moment, but I’ve got big plans, big plans for it. Uh, Tubbo, it’s called Paradise. Would you like to come join me, in Paradise, literally?” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 20:00, 3rd Aug)

“I know you had that- at the festival, with Technoblade. I never spoke to you properly about this. I- I could have saved you.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 21:41, 3rd Aug)

“Tubbo, I’m- I’m reaching out to you here, man, I’m on my knees, bro. Like, I- I’m sorry, I’m really, really sorry. And I literally, your forgiveness means so much to me, but it doesn’t, it doesn’t give up what I did to you, and it doesn’t give up how I failed you as a friend… you know, as a, I mean, fuck being, as a co-worker, but just you know, anything.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 21:56, 3rd Aug)

“Tubbo, like, man, I’m- I want to make it up to you. And you know what? I appreciate that you don’t trust me yet. I do.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 22:26, 3rd Aug)

“Tubbo, I, I really appreciate it. And I mean that, genuinely. I appreciate it. And I’m gonna go out and I’m gonna, I’m gonna prove to you that I’m worth being trusted again. I promise.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 22:44, 3rd Aug)

“I- Tubbo, Tubbo, I know, I know, Tubbo, Tubbo, Tubbo, Tubbo, please, I know. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 23:13, 3rd Aug)

“It feels like such a weak word. I feel like there’s nothing stronger that I can say. And I, and I, and I understand what you mean about how my actions need to reflect it and they will.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 23:20, 3rd Aug)

“Tubbo, do you know how fucking strong you are? And I’m not just trying to say this- I’ve got your forgiveness and I know I need to earn your trust, but, man, I just want to let you know I- You’re so strong, man, genuinely.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 23:41, 3rd Aug)

“Just the fact that you proved to me just there that you have these memories, you have these nightmares, and you still found it in your heart to forgive me that’s- You’re a fucking champion, man, you’re a hero.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 23:54, 3rd Aug)

“No, no, man, man, no worries. Look at me, bro. Look at me, bro. Bro, chin up! Look. Lucky Rabbit’s Foot. Tommy gave this to me, man. Lucky Rabbit’s Foot. Lucky Rabbit’s Foot, man, chin up.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 24:34, 3rd Aug)

“But, you know, it’s, it’s gonna get better, it’s gonna get better and it’s gonna be worth it when I see them smiling, all of them. Tubbo, Jack, Niki, Tommy. Anyone!” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 25:32, 3rd Aug)

“I think he’s gonna be alright. He’s gonna be alright. I’m looking at him, I’m looking out for him here.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 28:14, 3rd Aug)

“Yeah. Don’t pressure him. He doesn’t have to join. He just needs to come and- I just want him to come and enjoy some of our patented burgers! ” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 30:52, 3rd Aug)

-He truthfully believed in “words over weapons” always

“We don’t win wars with battles and with armour. We win wars with our words, Tommy. We’re starting a revolution, not a war.” - (Wilbur’s The Wall: 4:54, 29th July)

“Look, Dream isn’t our enemy, he’s our neighbour. But, we are seceding from his tyrannical rule.” - (Wilbur’s The Wall: 57:34, 29th July)

“The only thing I ask is that you don’t touch the wildlife. The trees are very important to us here.” - (Wilbur’s The Wall: 1:00:08, 29th July)

“I’m not a fighter, I’m a writer.” - (Wilbur’s The Wall: 1:48:31, 29th July)

“Dream, we may have had our differences, but I think I can, I think I can learn to live side by side with you in this server.” - (Wilbur’s The Revolution is Coming: 51:16, 2nd Aug)

“Fighting is not necessary right now, Tommy.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 43:42, 22nd Sep)

“Tommy, control yourself. Tommy, control yourself, it’s not worth it. Tommy, do not take your shot! He disrespected me, yes! But we’ve talked about this, Tommy…!” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 59:36, 23rd Sep)

“I see you’ve abandoned my no armour policy since I’ve been gone.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 19:31, 5th May)

He only gave into using the weapons or armour when he felt cornered:

“I thought we used our words!” (Eret)

“Not in this case. They’ve tried to burn down our forest!” (Alivebur)

- (Wilbur’s The Wall: 1:37:44, 29th July)

“Tommy, for the first time in my life, I’ve equipped armour, in this server. This is the first time I’ve worn armour on this server ever.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 33:50, 22nd Sep)

Or in the case of his speech to Quackity, when the entire world seemed to reflect, after all the wars, that his ideology of pacifism wasn’t the correct one (note how he seems to be talking as if trying to convince himself as well as talking from experience):

“If you want to really help people, you’re gonna need power, Quackity. You can make a movement, you can make a resistance, right, you can go out and you can come back, and they’ll give you a ticker tape parade. They’ll cheer for you in the streets, but you will change nothing.” - (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:05:42, 12th Apr)

“If you have a revolution, everyone will hate you, you will sacrifice everything, and you will lose everything you’ve ever had, but you’ll come back and everything will be changed.” - (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:05:59, 12th Apr)

“And power isn’t gaining from diplomacy, and bureaucracy, and giant courthouses suspended in the sky, blah blah blah. It’s gained from swords, Quackity. It’s gained from blades, it’s gained from steel, iron.” - (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:06:19, 12th Apr)

“Even if everyone has this good side that you’re talking about, then anyone who wants to prove it, has to show their dark side first. You’re going to have to kill, you’re going to have to torture, you’re going to have to maim.” - (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:06:34, 12th Apr)

Ghostbur showcases this belief as well when he aquestions what’s happening to the people of L’Manburg and its ideals:

“Hey, Tubbo, why are you wearing armour in L’Manberg? I thought that was the rule. You haven’t changed, have you, Tubbo? You haven’t changed, have you?“ - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 59:21, 16th Dec)

“This doesn’t look like something L’Manberg would build.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:08:03, 16th Dec)

“I’ve been reading a lot of history books recently, Philza. Lot of the L’Manberg history books, right? Because I know that Alivebur was really important in it, right? And I was reading them all, and I read one of the things, one of the first doctrinations that the entirety of this nation was formed on was the idea that everyone’s free. Everyone’s free to do what they want, and live how they want. I don’t think cages are conducive to that environment.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:08:08, 16th Dec)

“Right, but also, another thing. Techno was always allowed in L’Manberg. He was always allowed in there. But now he’s not. Now there’s loads of signs about him, wanting him alive. What’s that about?” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:08:37, 16th Dec)

“And Tubbo shot you with a bow!” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:09:08, 16th Dec)

“I thought Tubbo was the- Tubbo’s a good guy.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:09:16, 16th Dec)

-The final control room kickstarted his paranoia and left a permanent mark on him:

“Where are you taking me? This is- I’ve got bad memories down here, you’re gonna invoke my fight or flight reflex if you take me down here.” - (Wilbur’s The Revolution is Coming: 49:48, 2nd Aug)

“Eret, I’m not going with you. I have, I have values still.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 26:50, 22nd Sep)

“No, no. Yeah, we know we’ve been fucking betrayed. Of all the people. Get out.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 26:50, 22nd Sep)

“Eret, I’m sorry, I know you mean well but, I- I’ve- I’ve gotta decide who I can trust right now and I’m afraid you’re not first on my list.”

“I understand.”

“Thank you, Eret. Thank you.”

- (Wilbur’s the election results: 27:09, 22nd Sep)

“Anyone caught in the crossfire is caught in the crossfire. That’s how it goes, you know? Eret especially, he is the most clear, the most clear cut traitor of them all. He was a traitor from the very get go. I have no, I have no remorse offing Eret.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:41:22, 8th Oct)

As a bonus, consider every time Ghostbur talked about knowing Eret was “a wrongin” or bad because they cursed them out in the anthem, something that happened because of the betrayal:

“Yeah! Because you finally put an end to Alivebur, and everyone didn’t like him. But from what I’ve seen, he sort of had the longest era of peace in L’Manberg.” (Ghostbur)

“Yeah, kinda went down a… different path, unfortunately.” (Philza)

“Yeah, ‘cause of Eret”

- (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:11:46, 16th Dec)

-He always cared about preserving history, whether it was on his favour or not

“Yeah, it’s still a part of history. You don’t tear down history when it’s- even- just ‘cause you don’t agree with it.” - (Wilbur’s The Revolution is Coming: 50:56, 2nd Aug)

This habit continues through Ghostbur and his sewer library where he kept all important books and memoirs:

“Hey, Tubbo, why are you wearing armour in L’Manberg? I thought that was the rule. You haven’t changed, have you, Tubbo? You haven’t changed, have you?“ - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 59:21, 16th Dec)

“I’ve been reading a lot of history books recently, Philza. Lot of the L’Manberg history books, right? Because I know that Alivebur was really important in it, right? And I was reading them all, and I read one of the things, one of the first doctrinations that the entirety of this nation was formed on was the idea that everyone’s free. Everyone’s free to do what they want, and live how they want. I don’t think cages are conducive to that environment.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:08:08, 16th Dec)

“I don’t- I don’t- I don’t- I don’t want to listen- I don’t want to hear what you have to say. I don’t want to have to hear what you have to say. I- I- I’ve read the history books, Phil. I’ve read the history books. You- You- You slayed the dragon, you slayed Alivebur. You were the- You- You are the St George of the Dream SMP. We understand, everyone understands that, Phil.” - (Wilbur’s First Time Ghostbur Live: 17:58, 6th Jan)

“So you make me suffer? I- I don’t know what Alivebur did, and I’m really trying to remember. But I know what I did, and I just wrote books. I built- Remember the lanterns we used to make? I built them. I- I built a house for people- I- I set up this area- I built this town just like I built Logstedshire, and I watched them both blow up. And I didn’t- I- I didn’t- I didn’t hurt anyone, and yet I’m the one who pays. Tommy didn’t even live here, Tommy didn’t have a house here. I sowed the seeds of peace, and yet I’m the one who pays for war.” - (Wilbur’s First Time Ghostbur Live: 18:47, 6th Jan)

“I’ve read his memoirs, Ranboo. They’re all gone now, they were blown up when my library was destroyed, so many really important pieces of history were blown up when my library was destroyed. But! I’ve read his memoirs, and he was pretty okay, most of the time, he seemed. And people liked him. But then, he lost this election, and you know the story, everyone knows the story.” - (Ranboo’s Preparation: 12:11, 14th Mar)

“History is written by the winners.” (Ghostbur)

“Yeah, and he, he technically won. I mean, he did what he wanted to.” (Ranboo)

“But then he lost and everyone hates him.” (Ghostbur)

- (Ranboo’s Preparation: 13:55, 14th Mar)

-He loved and loves Fundy, he didn’t disown him

“I don’t know, man. I don’t know, I think you’d be getting into a fight you wouldn’t wanna start with me. You’ve only been on the positive side of me, you’ve only seen my nice side, because, you know, being my son you get special… You know, you won’t ever see me going against you.” - (Wilbur’s Let’s Capture and Farm Cute Animals to Make Money in Ooblets: 1:45:40, 4th Sep)

“F- Fundy. I- I’ve got- I’ve got- I’ve got a bad feeling about this. I think you’re just gonna, you’re just gonna get hurt.” - (Wilbur’s Let’s Capture and Farm Cute Animals to Make Money in Ooblets: 1:46:11, 4th Sep)

“Fundy, when I look at you, I can see there’s some stuff going inside right now and you need some help.” - (Wilbur’s The Election Campaign: 26:12, 8th Sep)

“Wait, look who’s coming, look’s who coming, my son, my boy.” (Alivebur)

“Your ex-son.” (Tommy)

“Well I mean, he’s still my son in blood, but he’s just…” (Alivebur)

- (Wilbur’s Election Night: 10:04, 20th Sep)

“He’s really upsetting me. He’s, look, he’s supposed to be my son.” - (Wilbur’s Election Night: 10:36, 20th Sep)

“It’s really sad, like I- Honestly I- When he turned around to me and he said he wasn’t gonna vote for me, and then he decided he was gonna vote for the opposition, and then he decided he was gonna run against me. That was- One of those was the straw that broke my back, I’m not sure which one, I’m still contemplating which one.” - (Wilbur’s Election Night: 10:52, 20th Sep)

“I miss me son! I miss when he was my boy! Do you remember when he was my boy?!” - (Wilbur’s Election Night: 11:17, 20th Sep)

“Yeah, yeah, go on, son! Just- Just- Yeah- POG2020 wants to let the furry talk. … Yeah, everyone be really nice to Fundy. … Look, he’s got dressed up in a little suit and I’m very proud of him.” - (Wilbur’s Election Night: 35:38, 20th Sep)

“My son… My son is tearing down the walls, in front of me! My son is tearing down the walls in front of me! The walls I built to keep him safe! I promised him this world, Tommy, I promised him this world.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 39:41 22nd Sep)

“Don’t give him promotions he’s too young, he doesn’t understand. He needs to learn more. No, he needs to learn more, I should know he’s my son.” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 57:57, 23rd Sep)

“Wilbur is just a founder, and I was born here and nothing else. That’s literally everything there is to it.” (Fundy)

“But you know that’s not…” (Alivebur)

- (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 58:20, 23rd Sep)

“I don’t know who you are anymore, Fundy. I don’t know who you are anymore…” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 59:08, 23rd Sep)

“Fundy, Fundy is very clearly on Schlatt’s side, look- Fundy was the closest thing I had to something I cared about in L’Manberg, when it all began. You know, when it started, the closest thing to anything I cared about was Fundy. Fundy was my, he was my, he was my boy! My rock! You know? And hearing what he said about L’Manberg and stuff is just… And when I heard him say that he had no care for me, I believe that. I think he’s so happy that he’s finally been given maturity in L’Manberg, you know. Like, Schlatt’s giving him the maturity he’s been craving, you know. And that’s cool. That’s fine. You know? I have no issue with that, he can do what he wants.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:44:10, 8th Oct)

Want Ghostbur as well? You have it, even when he forgot about Fundy disowning him, couldn’t really make up for Alivebur’s failings because he didn’t remember and when Fundy was being adopted in front of him, he showed he cared:

“Fundy needs a dad. Fundy needs a dad. For sure. And I need to make up for what I did. I’ve got to make up for what I did.” - (Wilbur’s Amangus with new and old friends: 2:03:04, 24th Nov)

“Last time I spoke to Fundy was… erm. When I announced I was running for President, and you said that you were also gonna run. That was the last time I remember.” - (Fundy’s Being Adopted: 1:00:43, 27th Nov)

“He’s very young, he’s only like fourteen. He’s going through some times, he just needs time on his own sometimes.” - (Fundy’s Being Adopted: 1:03:12, 27th Nov)

“Phil, do you know how old Fundy is? I think he was very young when I remember, but I don’t know if he’s gotten older since.” - (Fundy’s Being Adopted: 1:03:23, 27th Nov)

“And I, I, I don’t know why your stream title is ‘being adopted’ but I don’t- I, I, I hope- I don’t know what that’s about. But I’m sure- I- I’m sure it’ll make sense and I’m sure it’s nothing bad and everything’s happy! Everything’s fine!” - (Fundy’s Being Adopted: 1:08:29, 27th Nov)

“Did Fundy like Alivebur?” (Ghostbur)

“He loved you.” (Eret)

“Oh! Well then there we go, that’s a good plan then!” (Ghostbur)

- (Wilbur’s First Time Ghostbur Live: 44:07, 6th Jan)

-Paranoia and distrustfulness are integral to his character

“You say, you say everyone has a good side, Quackity. And you’re right, you’re right, everyone has a good side, but that good side is only there to help themselves.” - (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:05:32, 12th Apr)

“I think, I think Tubbo might be one of the few people we can trust here. I don’t think I can trust Technoblade, I definitely can’t trust Fundy. I can’t trust Jack Manifold, Jack Manifold tore down the walls. I guess Tubbo is doing his job right now, I guess he’s out looking for us.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 42:10, 22nd Sep)

“Look, I think, from what I can gather, there is only two people we can trust on the server right now. That’s Tubbo, and that’s Niki. Seem to be the only people who I can trust right now, but I’m still not willing to open up to them yet. It’s gonna take me a long time.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 44:18, 22nd Sep)

“Tubbo’s one of the few people I trust, Technoblade. Like, I’m still figuring you out right now, but, at the moment, Tubbo seems to be, you know, pretty on the ball. He seems pretty keen on the whole spying thing.” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 12:16, 23rd Sep)

“Tubbo, ignore what I just said, I don’t trust you. You have to prove yourself to me.” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 12:33, 23rd Sep)

“Tubbo said that he was wearing the suit as a disguise, right? Turns out that’s not true, turns out it’s a dress code. So, Tubbo lied to me, which is not the best start for our, you know, our political relationship.” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 36:52, 23rd Sep)

“He’s a man who I thought really cared about his nation. But you know, I’ve been wrong before.” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 1:10:00, 23rd Sep)

“Tubbo, you’re… See, with Technoblade, right, I have no doubt that Technoblade is on my side, right. ‘Cause with Technoblade, right, I know he just wants blood, and he wants war, right. That’s how Technoblade works, you know. He just wants to fight, and he wants to kill bad guys, right. Yeah, yeah, look at him, he’s a little libertarian, little anarchist, right. So here’s what I’m saying, right. You, however, I can’t tell whether you’re cosying up to Schlatt to help spy, or whether you’re cosying up to Schlatt because you quite like how he treats you.” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 1:21:09, 23rd Sep)

“Tommy, I’ve got a question for you, right. Because this festival, this is a good idea, this doesn’t seem like a bad like, this doesn’t seem evil. You know? This seems like a nice friendly thing Schlatt’s doing. Tommy, are we the bad guys?” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:08:14, 8th Oct)

“‘Cause, I mean, we were the, we just kinda made ourselves the leaders, and then, and now we had a vote, and he won, in a coalition government, which was completely legal, and now we’re trying to overthrow him. It feels like we’re the bad guys, Tommy. This doesn’t feel correct.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:08:34, 8th Oct)

“Tommy, am I, am I a bad, am I a villain of this story. Am I the villain in your history?” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:08:59, 8th Oct)

“That guy Tubbo? You know? We love Tubbo… but he’s not on our side, is he? Let’s be honest. We act like he is, like, everyone’s always how like, oh it’s crazy how everyone’s against Schlatt.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:12:57, 8th Oct)

“Everyone’s always saying how like, oh it’s crazy how everyone’s against Schlatt. No one’s against Schlatt. Everyone’s pulling the biggest ruse on us. Literally, they’ve got us all by the fucking scruff of our necks.” - (Wilbur’s video Am I the Villain?: 17:59)

“Tubbo’s like, ‘I’ll be your spy!’. And then we’ve got like Fundy who’s like saying to everyone’s twitch chats that he’s gonna revolt against us. And you’ve got Eret giving us fucking potatoes, that say fucking ‘I’m gonna be friends with you’. It’s bullshit! It’s all bullshit!” - (Wilbur’s video Am I the Villain?: 18:09)

“‘Cause Schlatt knows, he’s a smart man, he knows that if we fight him, even if we beat him, we’ve lost. If he fights us and kills us, we’ve lost. Tommy, there’s no in-between, he knows we’ve lost.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:15:37, 8th Oct)

“Tommy, literally have you not noticed? Everyone who’s claiming to be on our side, they’re lying to us! Tubbo?! He’s lying to you man! He would drop us at the second he realises we’re not in the lead anymore!” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:16:15, 8th Oct)

[About Tubbo’s speech for Manberg] “That’s not something a, that’s not something a traitor would do, is it? That’s not- We’re not- You’re not gonna- I’m- I- Ah- I’m just- I was just wondering ‘cause writing a speech is quite a har-” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:19:27, 8th Oct)

“And you know what? It’s not over yet, Tubbo. It’ll never be over. … Tubbo, it’s never gonna be over. We’re here forever.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 3:24, 13th Oct)

“Tubbo, have you not realised? The one fear I had, the one fear I had when taking over L'Manberg, was the idea that the act of war and the act of tyranny that I was bestowing onto the Dream SMP would just start an endless cycle of vengeance and death.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 3:36, 13th Oct)

“I don’t think everyone will be even once Schlatt’s out of the picture. People will never be even. People will never be even, dude. It’s gonna go on forever. This entire thing is a cycle. Up and down, up and down, just constant.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 4:00, 13th Oct)

“It’s what has to be done, man, it’s what has to be done. I was saying this to Tommy, I’ll say it again. If Schlatt loses to us, we’ve still lost. Schlatt’s a smart man, he knows what he’s done. He’s set up things up in such a way, so that our success will actually just cause another cycle of pain and death and destruction, right.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 6:56, 13th Oct)

“But here’s the thing, right, it’s about the fact that with or without, you know- If we win, Schlatt wins. If we lose, Schlatt wins. The only way we can possibly have any sort of semblance of victory is for us both to lose.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 8:00, 13th Oct)

“Yes, yes, by literally every stretch of the world. If we try and fight Schlatt, hand to hand, one on one, we lose! Even if we kill him we lose! Because we’ve fought back and gained power. Do you know what I’m doing here, Tommy? I’m creating a power vacuum! I’m creating a power vacuum. You know who can fill it, Tommy? Tommy, I know you’re gonna like this one, you could fill it, Tommy. You could fill that power vacuum that I’m gonna create. Anyone could! When I destroy this, there’s a massive vacuum and people are just waiting for the next powerful person.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 17:24, 16th Oct)

“They mean nothing to me, Tommy. None of them do. We can kill them all. Seriously, it doesn’t matter, they don’t- They’re not on our side.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 19:24, 16th Oct)

“Oh Tubbo’s, Tubbo’s clearly- Have you heard the way he talks to me? He talks to me like how he talks to Schlatt.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 19:36, 16th Oct)

“You’re just a yes man, aren’t you? This isn’t the first time Tubbo’s done this man.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 40:51, 16th Oct)

“Tubbo organised the event, bro. I’m telling you, man, he’s not on our side.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 46:08, 16th Oct)

“Do you know why this is magnificent, Tommy? Because now it’s exactly what I said, no one’s on our side, Tommy. Everyone’s just listening to whoever’s got the most power. No one cares. No one has any honour here. Everyone’s just doing as they’re told. Tommy, this is perfect. Oh shut up, Technoblade, you’re in it… as well.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:15:27, 16th Oct)

“This isn’t about me, this is about blowing up Manberg, this is about just finishing it. We’ve got this! Look, Tommy, what else do I need to convince you? The festival was a front.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:15:47, 16th Oct)

“Because no one’s actually caring about honour, everyone just wants to commit chaos.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:17:15, 16th Oct)

“It’s just as exactly as I predicted- It’s as exactly as I predicted, it’s exactly as I predicted. This is just all a travesty.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:17:59, 16th Oct)

“But I’m not the one who was a traitor so, I should be the one deciding. Don’t get me wrong, don’t get me wrong, it’s fine that you’re a traitor, I like it, I like it, it’s cool- Why did you do it?” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:23:39, 16th Oct)

“See the thing is, Technoblade, like, I know this probably seems very confusing but like I- I don’t care if you’re not on our side or whatever, as long as you’re willing to help me do chaos. As long as you’re willing to help me.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:29:06, 16th Oct)

“After last night’s catastrophe- I mean Schlatt won, how awful is that? Literally we let Schlatt win? Schlatt came away yesterday with a victory for Manberg. Holy shit, no, not again. I don’t think we should let that happen again, right.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 5:03, 17th Oct)

“And I thought, right, what did I do wrong? Okay things that I did wrong: One, I trusted Techno too much, right. I think we can all agree I did that wrong. … He traitored, but you know, it ended up working out well for us ‘cause now we have another boy for chaos. And he’s kinda on my side in this which is good. Number two, I shouldn’t have lost the button. … But don’t worry, ‘cause mans only gone and found it.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 5:22, 17th Oct)

“I’m just telling you, you shouldn’t be worried, you shouldn’t be afraid. And you know what? At the end of the day, Tommy, I would say we’ve always got each other, but we don’t, ‘cause if it goes wrong, you’re probably gonna hate me.” - (Wilbur’s video Finale: 3:03)

“I thought I was the traitor… I thought I was the traitor…” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:02:37, 16th Nov)

“He’s– He’s gonna– Tommy, he’s gonna bring Schlatt back as well.” - (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:32:53, 20th Jan)

“Ranboo, are you a schmoozer? … A schmoozer, are you schmoozing everyone? Are you greasing everyone up?” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 35:38, 5th May)

“He’s harmless now, he’s harmless now, give him, give him a burger van though, I don’t know, he might spatula me, Phil. Could you imagine me, look at me, imagine me with a spatula through my skull.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 14:32, 25th July)

“Ranboo, me and you are neurotic, and that’s why we’re alive right now, talking to each other and doing this.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 40:25, 25th July)

“I think, I think you might be a bit braver than me, in showing your true colours. I feel like with you, Ranboo, I never have to be guessing your next move, I never have to be guessing your hand, you know? I feel like life dealt us the same cards, and the difference is that you build your trust by showing people your cards, while I keep them close to my chest. And I feel like that might be the big difference.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 41:22, 25th July)

“Ranboo, I’m gonna tell you something I’ve never really told anyone. I try and keep this on the low because I don’t want, I don’t want people to use this against me is the main problem.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:19, 3rd Aug)

“In the case of an emergency, right? When we are head to head, you know? … When we are head to head with Tubbo, and Big Q, and stuff, and you know, it’s all- And maybe shit’s going a bit- hitting the fan, you know? I need to know that we have a saviour card to save the innocent people in this city. You know like Tubbo and, and Fundy. I need to know we can save the innocent people.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 31:53, 4th Aug)

“In most cases, yeah. 100%. 100% most of the time, maybe it won’t happen. But, if we need to protect the innocent people, that’s what it’s for. You wanna protect like Fundy, you wanna protect Slimecicle, Tubbo? Yeah. So that’s- that’s what it’s for.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 33:26, 4th Aug)

“I’ll make it very, very safe, yeah.” (Ranboo)

“Promise?” (Alivebur)

“Promise, yeah.”

- (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 34:10, 4th Aug)

“And you’re gonna tell me where you put the button? And you’re gonna tell me where everything’s set up?” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 34:14, 4th Aug)

-Self-loathing and self-sabotage are also an integral part of his character

“Tommy, I’ve got a question for you, right. Because this festival, this is a good idea, this doesn’t seem like a bad like, this doesn’t seem evil. You know? This seems like a nice friendly thing Schlatt’s doing. Tommy, are we the bad guys?” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:08:14, 8th Oct)

“It feels like we’re the bad guys, Tommy. This doesn’t feel correct.” - (Wilbur’s video Am I the Villain?: 15:49)

“Tommy, am I, am I a bad, am I a villain of this story. Am I the villain in your history?” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:08:59, 8th Oct)

“Tommy, let’s be villains.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:11:17, 8th Oct)

“How much would you say me and Tommy are kind of the bad guys here? We… we… uh… we…” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:32:15, 8th Oct)

“We fought against people, we killed people to get leadership of this country, we didn’t really do much in our leadership, and then when we were voted out, we’re now trying to fight our way back in. It doesn’t f- It feels like we might- I don’t know, what do you think?” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:32:28, 8th Oct)

“Thing is, Tommy, Tommy, what you’re not understanding is, Dream only gave you that gear so that you could cause this conflict. You see? That’s what this is all about. Dream doesn’t want us to win, Dream just wants both Pogtopia and Manberg to be weak! That’s it!” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:34:03, 8th Oct)

“And, Dream, Dream, I’m not, I’m not scolding you on this, that’s smart. You’re a smart guy. I’ve seen your two thousand IQ plays. Right. Nothing can get past you, right.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:34:16, 8th Oct)

“So, I’m here to help you. I’m here to weaken both of us, so much. Manberg and Pogtopia will be nothing more.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:34:25, 8th Oct)

“We are the villains, Tommy! We didn’t win the election and we’re trying to fight for it back! Look how nice this place looks under Schlatt, look how lovely Schlatt has made this place.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 15:57, 16th Oct)

“Me, however, I’ll take the fall, I’ll take the fall, Tommy. I’m taking off this fucking helmet. Look, I’ll take the fall, Tommy, alright. You just, you just focus on, just, you know, just enjoy the time.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 16:40, 16th Oct)

“I’m not crouching there’s no point! We’ll all be dead soon, it doesn’t matter!” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 24:16, 17th Oct)

“Yesterday I had the perfect opportunity to blow everything up and finally end it, you know. I had the perfect opportunity to finally blow up everything and end it and just completely save everyone, right, from the tyranny of Schlatt and the tyranny of the existence of Manberg and L’Manberg, right.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 25:17, 17th Oct)

“No you two can escape, I’ll be the… I’ll- I’ll- I’ll be… I’ll be trapped in here…” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 27:27, 17th Oct)

“Ohh, fuck you! Fuck you, man! Why do you make it so hard?! I should have just- I’m such a fucking showman.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 29:29, 17th Oct)

“I know we can, but we’ll be the bad guys, if we take him down we’ll be the bad guys…” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 31:10, 17th Oct)

“Oh, I don’t have a home, let’s be honest.” - (Wilbur’s The Meeting: 27:04, 6th Nov)

“I’m always weary, I don’t sleep.” - (Wilbur’s The Meeting: 45:37, 6th Nov)

“There was a traitor. I don’t know what Dream was talking about, there was a traitor. It’s me and Techno. And now the server is going to go into ruin, thanks to us.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:18:36, 16th Nov)

“Do you wanna be alive again?” (Tubbo)

“Oh, hell no. No. God, oh god.” (Alivebur)

- (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:29:22, 20th Jan)

“We can bring you back.” (Tommy)

“W– What?” (Alivebur)

- (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:31:46, 20th Jan)

“The reason why Dream isn’t dead now, off his own server, banned, is because we can bring you back.” (Tommy)

“Y– W– I– But I– I– I don’t- I don’t wanna- I- I don’t.” (Alivebur)

- (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:31:53, 20th Jan)

“Are you sure?” (Tubbo)

“W– You made a– You… You made a– The one person on the server who is– I… You want– Let me get it straight. So you managed to get the discs by… Wait, so the reason Dream’s not dead is because you want me back alive?” (Alivebur)

- (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:32:09, 20th Jan)

“Guys, I– What the fuck have you done?! What have you done?! The one thing I wanted was to stay fucking dead!” - (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:33:30, 20th Jan)

“I’m really happy you’re here, man. I felt this place growing for you in here, right? And you know why I’m glad, Tommy, you know why I’m glad? Because me and you were never good for that server. We just weren’t. Like, you can look at the whole history of the server, and it all falls in our laps, the problems, right.” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 9:35, 4th March)

“Think about it, everything that’s gone wrong, is down to us, it lies at our footsteps.” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 9:59, 4th March)

“Here’s the thing, I genuinely think, if it weren’t for me and you dying right, the server would be in shambles. I know for a fact that if I come back, or if I’m brought back to life in some way it’s definitely gonna just go [shit again]” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 10:10, 4th March)

“I know what I’m like, that’s the issue.” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 10:29, 4th March)

“Ohh, fuck! Did I- Did I do that? Oo, that’s not a good look, is it? That’s not a good look for me.” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 53:06, 29th Apr)

“Ohhh. Ohh, no. Oh I really did a number on this place, huh? Oh ho, ho, ho boy! Oh dear! Oh no! I really did a number here.” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 53:23, 29th Apr)

“I told you I needed to have a think. And I don’t think an apology will ever sum up what I did here, I mean, look at this mess.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 8:00, 5th May)

Well, I mean, yeah, I didn’t want a grave. I was hoping I’d go there and it was just be full of requiems and obituaries of horrible I was, and how much I was hated.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 10:51, 5th May)

“My destructive bounds. My destructiveness knows no bounds. Tommy, my destructiveness knows no bounds. Tommy, my destructiveness knows no bounds. Someone’s gotta stop me, someone’s gotta stop me, Tommy.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 13:05, 31st May)

“The thing is with this book, Tommy, is that it’s, it’s a… It’s a call from an old friend, who I haven’t seen in a long, long time. And I, you know, I feel like when we left off, we left off on a I assume a bad impression.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 17:52, 31st May)

“Every person we seem to have spoken to, aside from say, I don’t know… Jack Manifold. Every person aside from Jack Manifold, has taken a bit of a disliking to me. Oh and Phil, Phil was lovely too. And you actually. Come to think of it, the three people I care about most, Jack Manifold, you, and Phil, have been the nicest to me, you know. That might be a coincidence, who knows.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 19:24, 31st May)

“Quackity, I’ve, I’ve, I’ve, I’ll be honest you with you, I’ve lost everything, man. I, um. I’ve lost decades of my life. I’ve lost my- most of the people who cared about me. Some people don’t even know I’m back yet, and I, and I think that’s probably for the best. So I feel like that does humble a man. That really humbles a man, you know? Life is paved with the mistakes you make, and uh, it’s not about when you made the mistakes or what you did, it’s about how you can improve from them, you know? And that’s what um, I guess that’s what I’m trying to do.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 1:00:52, 31st May)

“I don’t know if they actually needed me, but I was there.” (Ranboo)

“I know that feel.” (Alivebur)

- (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 25:15, 25th July)

“Why? Why? … No, no, no, no, no, not the, not the bit about the, not the bit about the right foot, the why don’t you think I’m a bad person?” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 35:13, 25th July)

“Can I, Can I be real with you? Sorry, Ranboo, you really got me with that, fucking hell.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 36:24, 25th July)

“Can I be real with you, man? I think I scare people.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 36:30, 25th July)

“I mean, like I, I, I, I don’t think I, I- I think a lot of people share your idea, but they share your idea in trying to- trying to keep me from hurting them, you know? Like they’ve seen what I can do, and they don’t want me to do it again, so they adopt your emotion in order to do it.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 36:46, 25th July)

“I relived that explosion in my head so many times man. And, and, and I- I get that you don’t, you don’t trust me, I do, but like, man, look at me, bro, I’m not gonna do it again. I’m not gonna- I’m not gonna hurt you again.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 21:21, 3rd Aug)

Look at that, Ghostbur can do self-loathing times two by hating both himself as a ghost AND Alivebur:

“Well, he’s dead now, so let’s not talk about him.” - (Said by Ghostbur about Alivebur)

“It’s not me, Tubbo, you know that’s not me, I’m Ghostbur. I am different from regular one. He was a bad man, I’m not him.” - (Said by Ghostbur, likely on Tubbo’s stream from the 19th Nov that I can no longer find)

“Everyone likes me more now that I’m dead, Tubbo, to be honest with you. I’m having a much better time. Everyone prefers it when I’m dead. So, I’m perfectly happy being dead.” - (Tubbo’s President Things: 1:34.39, 19th Nov)

“Phil, how bad was I, Phil? Phil, how awful of a person was I?” - (Wilbur’s Amangus with new and old friends: 1:59:13, 24th Nov)

“I’m not him, Tubbo. I’m not… I’m not Wilbur.” - (Tubbo’s The Next Steps: 31:27, 7th Dec)

“Yeah! Because you finally put an end to Alivebur, and everyone didn’t like him. But from what I’ve seen, he sort of had the longest era of peace in L’Manberg.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:11:46, 16th Dec)

“That’s how you keep yourself sane. Yeah, that’s how I do it. When people say to me ‘Hey, Will, do you remember killing all your friends?’, I say ‘I didn’t do that, halalala’” (Tommy’s Alone?: 17:05, 19th Dec).

“Hey, Tommy, I was having a think about it, and I don’t think I want people to bring me back to life.” - (Tommy’s Alone?: 47:38, 19th Dec)

“I don’t know, I don’t think I want to be brought back to life.” - (Tommy’s Alone?: 47:52, 19th Dec)

“No, I just- I don’t know. I think I don’t wanna- People prefer Ghostbur. Dream likes Ghostbur!” - (Tommy’s Alone?: 48:34, 19th Dec)

“I’ve read the history books. You- You- You slayed the dragon, you slayed Alivebur. You were the- You- You are the St George of the Dream SMP. We understand, everyone understands that, Phil.” - (Wilbur’s First Time Ghostbur Live: 18:01, 6th Jan)

“I take it back, Tommy. Tommy, I take it back. I’m burning in the rain right now, and I just- Tommy, I want you to bring me back to life.” - (Wilbur’s First Time Ghostbur Live: 20:07, 6th Jan)

“Tommy, I know- I know I said- Tommy, I know how I said I didn’t want- I didn’t want to be brought back to life because I didn’t want to- Because that would mean me as Ghostbur would stop existing. But I want- I want you to bring me back to life. I don’t want to be Ghostbur anymore.” - (Wilbur’s First Time Ghostbur Live: 22:12, 6th Jan)

“Maybe everyone will like Alivebur again.” - (Wilbur’s First Time Ghostbur Live: 35:37, 6th Jan)

“Did Fundy like Alivebur?” (Ghostbur)

“He loved you.” (Eret)

“Oh! Well then there we go, that’s a good plan then!” (Ghostbur)

- (Wilbur’s First Time Ghostbur Live: 44:07, 6th Jan)

“I need to be killed. I-” (Ghostbur)

“There’s a fox out there who needs a father” (Eret)

“And there’s a world out there that needs a ruler. When I look at this crater I don’t- I don’t see- I don’t see somewhere that Ghostbur made better. I see somewhere that- that- that is owned by weakness. Eret, I’m not a strong man, I’m not a strong man.” (Ghostbur)

“You were a strong man.” (Eret)

Yeah, but I’m not a strong ghost. And I- This world needs strength right now, and I- It’s one of those things where I don’t want- I want to- Do it, Phil! Phil, do it!” (Ghostbur)

- (Philza’s trying to revive my son LOL: 36:37, 10th Jan)

“And I’ll- I’ll- I’ll be back, and the world can be strong again.” - (Philza’s trying to revive my son LOL: 37:31, 10th Jan)

-He’s been depressed since he became president

He doesn’t want to talk to people as a person during the election campaigns because the role of President was such a big thing to carry:

“Can I… talk to you like off the books and just… Can I talk to you as a person? Forget- forget the elections, forget the… the politics, forget we are politicians right now. I wanna talk to you up close. I wanna talk to you as a person.” (Quackity)

“Um… I mean I appreciate it- no. The election’s in twelve days” (Wilbur)

-(Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:03:23, 12th Apr)

He mentions being “a distant ruler” and regrets it:

“I mean, look, Tubbo, I’ll be the first one to say I didn’t always treat you the best on L’Manberg. And I know I didn’t! I was somewhat of a distant ruler, I pretty much only really- … Look, I wasn’t the best ruler, I know I wasn’t. I think I was a good ruler, but I-” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 1:21:50, 23rd Sep)

Ghostbur confirms that he was depressed:

“I just- I- I just remember I was in power, and I would- when I wasn’t on a stage I would cry a lot, and- and scream into my pillow until I felt better. That’s what I- but I don’t remember why I would do that”

- (Tubbo’s THE GREAT REBUILDING: 2:14:18, 17th Nov)

“Tubbo I recommend you buy a pillow”

- (Tubbo’s THE GREAT REBUILDING: 2:14:33, 17th Nov)

-He gave up the presidency peacefully and thought it fair if he lost because of the coalition he himself allowed

“Look. I could always push things off as an autocracy, I could always start just making myself the dictator of L’Manberg. But I don’t want to do that.” - (Wilbur’s is about to change forever: 29:24, 3rd Sep)

“What happens if we lose the nation, Wilbur?” (Tommy)

“Well, then whoever wins takes over, w- what do you mean?” (Alivebur)

- (Tommy’s vod jschlatt gets unbanned from the Dream SMP: 1:45:50, 20th Sep)

“Tommy, we’re citizens tonight. Just listen to Schlatt.” (Wilbur’s vid How Schlatt stole the Election of the Dream SMP: 7:58)

“I called for this democratic process, and now he’s ousted me from my government. This- I’m fucking speechless, I’m speechless.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 26:12, 22nd Sep)

“We held this election, and by god am I not gonna upset democracy just so that I can keep hold of- This is what the people want, we shall give the people what they want- But Tommy, I am not gonna die with you out here. We need to stay alive. That would be enough.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 46:06, 22nd Sep)

“‘Cause, I mean, we were the, we just kinda made ourselves the leaders, and then, and now we had a vote, and he won, in a coalition government, which was completely legal, and now we’re trying to overthrow him. It feels like we’re the bad guys, Tommy. This doesn’t feel correct.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:08:34, 8th Oct)

“Tommy, we allowed the coalition. On the day, they said they were gonna make a coalition, and our cockiness, our arrogance got in ahead of us, and we allowed it. We said ‘yes coalition governments are allowed’.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:09:35, 8th Oct)

“Look, do you know how long and how much blood was shed to get L’Manberg to the point it was at? You know what would happen if we manage to get L’Manberg back again? More blood would be shed, and we would be the illegitimate rulers of a nation.” - (Wilbur’s video Am I the Villain?: 18:52)

He was quite literally exiled and chased out of his nation when he gave up the presidency fairly and died in the process while people cheered in the background (and he still hold some resentment for it, which is completely fair if anything):

“Who ran against you! Who laughed as we were exiled! Who cheered as we were thrown out of our nation, that we built, WE BUILT!” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 46:39, 31st May)

-He hesitated regarding the button tons of times, he also wanted people to stop him, he told his plans to people clearly and tried to be reasoned out of it (the more emotional approaches didn’t quite get through to him)

“I- Look, rigging L’Manberg is not gonna help us get it back, I’m aware of that. But sometimes in order to feel comfortable and safe you have to be ready to give up the things that you’re worried you might lose. And in this case, I think I might lose it already.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:17:57, 8th Oct)

“Why did you give me a cake of Niki? Why did you give me a cake that Niki made? What are you trying to imply? Are you trying to imply I shouldn’t be doing it because of Niki, huh?” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 19:11, 16th Oct)

“I know there’s a lot of people, Tommy! … I’m not telling you where the button is, man. … Tommy, it’s over that hill, it’s over that hill, right there!” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 28:30, 16th Oct)

“Chat, do I wanna- Chat, do I wanna, do I wanna do it? I’m having second thoughts about the TNT. Chat, I’m having second thoughts about the TNT. Do I wanna kill these people? Seeing that they’re my friends.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 34:09, 16th Oct)

“Tommy, I’m getting second thoughts. These are my friends, I don’t- Do I- I don’t know if I wanna [inaudible].” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 36:17, 16th Oct)

“But this is the opportunity- this is the opportunity. If I don’t blow it up now, when am I gonna blow it up?! When am I gonna blow it up, Tommy? But when do- when do we do-” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 36:30, 16th Oct)

“If I don’t do it now, what happens if this is the only chance I get. Everyone’s in this close situation, I can do some proper damage. Look, this isn’t a- He needs a consequence for his actions, Schlatt does, he can’t just keep being handsome and powerful and strong all the time. He needs, he needs to be put down a peg.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 37:07, 16th Oct)

“I can still call off this whole detonating at the end of the speech, dude. I can call it off.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 38:24, 16th Oct)

“Should I show you where the TNT’s laced? ‘Cause in a, in a last ditch effort, we may need to destroy it by hand, okay? So, under the chair, where Schlatt sits, there’s about twenty pieces, right? And then going under, under the main area here, following this red line, there is TNT all the way, and then it jut- and then it- … It darts up here, and over to the dance floor, but it doesn’t touch the water.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 38:29, 16th Oct)

“I have to light it, I’ve got to light it, I’ve got to light it.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:08:17, 16th Oct)

“Techno, when I set it off next time, you ready to pop some withers in there as well?” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:28:42, 16th Oct)

“I thought today was gonna be my last time here, honestly. I genuinely, I was considering, blowing up L’Manberg, having a big moment where I’m like looking over the rubble, and I’m like ‘I’ve changed as a person’. But like after this, I am just deeper. I wanna do different, more blowing up things.” (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:29:34, 16th Oct)

“We waited too long. I just want chaos. I don’t care about like when we blow everything up, you know?” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 7:24, 17th Oct)

“And I thought, what better time of just eradicating the nation and eradicating him than right now. I can finally do what I said I was gonna, you know, that I said I was gonna do.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 24:00, 17th Oct)

“Tommy, we’ve tried my ideas. I’m willing to listen to you. I’m gonna follow you, Tommy. Whatever you think is gonna be the best way of taking down Schlatt, we’ll do it. We’ve tried my ideas.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 32:01, 17th Oct)

“My L’Manberg. My L’Manberg. As long- As long as I know the button is here… as long as I know. As long as I know the button is here. It’s just not today. I just need to know that it’s there for a fall-back. I need to know it’s there.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 33:46, 17th Oct)

“I’ve been hasty. But the fact that I know it’s there, and I can just stroke my right mouse button, that’s all I need. As long as I know it’s there.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 34:27, 17th Oct)

“I’ll be back. I’ll be back for this.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 34:45, 17th Oct)

“You’ve convinced me, I don’t wanna go straight to Plan B, if Plan A fails.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 39:02, 17th Oct)

“I have a lot of TNT ready to go. I can definitely blow up L’Manberg.” - (Wilbur’s The Meeting: 7:40, 6th Nov)

“It’s Plan Bomb, it’s Plan Bomb, we’re doing Plan Bomb, yeah? That’s Plan Bomb.” - (Wilbur’s The Meeting: 19:25, 6th Nov)

“Well, no, but I will though, that’s the- you know- it’s Chekhov’s Gun, we’ve spoken about this.” - (Wilbur’s The Meeting: 27:59, 6th Nov)

“Dream, let’s do this as a gentlemen’s duel then, you know. Instead of doing like a bit of a dirty war that we’re planning at the moment, how about we just do it like gentlemanly? We pick a date, we pick a time, and we have the war, and if it all goes tits up, I blow the shit up.” - (Wilbur’s The Meeting: 42:59, 6th Nov)

“And then that’s the be-all or end-all, that is either we take Manberg back - and Dream you fight us as much as you want for Manberg - and- or on the other side, we blow it all up! That’s the be-all or end-all, that’s where it either- It’s ends. It ends on the 16th. We have to end it.” - (Wilbur’s The Meeting: 43:47, 6th Nov)

“I could be. I mean at the end of the day, my traitoring would be very anticlimactic ‘cause it would just involve me doing the exact thing I’ve said I’m gonna do for the past month. Which is detonate everything.” - (Wilbur’s The Meeting: 53:48, 6th Nov)

“I sort of made a deal with Dream. Look, I made a deal with Dream. I’m fighting on your side, I’ll fight for the side of L’Manberg. But the minute you guys start losing, I’m detonating that entire thing. I’m blowing the entire place up. And Dream said that’s fine, Dream said that’s allowed. So that’s what I’m doing.” - (Wilbur’s The Meeting: 58:44, 6th Nov)

“Look, Tommy, at the end of the day, if this doesn’t go well, I’m gonna blow the place to smithereens. The place will be gone, I’m gonna detonate it and blow it to smithereens, right, if this doesn’t go well. But it will go well…! … ‘Cause it’s literally- there’s no one on Schlatt’s side.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 21:00, 16th Nov)

“But none of them have the same anticipatory love of what they’re doing, unlike us. Everyone on our side is fighting for something we’ve loved, and had for ages, right. That’s why we’re gonna win, and that’s why you shouldn’t be afraid. And yes, the whole place is rigged.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 21:38, 16th Nov)

“I could, I really could, that’s the thing. That’s the bit that I like. It’s the bit that makes me smile the most is the fact that I definitely could.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 26:28, 16th Nov)

“I thought I was the trai- Okay. Sure. Um. … I mean, it’s pretty obvious, wasn’t it? I mean- Well, okay, I mean, I guess, that’s… Yeah, we, we won…” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:02:15, 16th Nov)

“I thought I was the traitor… I thought I was the traitor…” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:02:37, 16th Nov)

“Chekhov’s Gun. Chekhov’s Gun. I’ll be honest with you, chat, I’ve been wondering this whole time if it still works. I’ve been thinking to myself does it still- ‘Cause I fixed it up for today.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:11:36, 16th Nov)

He also was completely stopped by Tommy and Quackity just being there and in danger within the explosion room (he only wanted to take himself down with L’Manburg, that TNT originally inside the button room was to take just himself out. His intentions are clear in these quotes, he no longer believes in surviving the explosion):

“Yesterday I had the perfect opportunity to blow everything up and finally end it, you know. I had the perfect opportunity to finally blow up everything and end it and just completely save everyone, right, from the tyranny of Schlatt and the tyranny of the existence of Manberg and L’Manberg, right.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 25:17, 17th Oct)

“Explain it to me! Give me a reason! Give me a reason!” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 26:50, 17th Oct)

“Who else is it gonna hurt?! It’s gonna hurt Schlatt, Manberg, and-” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 26:55, 17th Oct)

“Why did I bring- I should have just done it. I’m such a fucking showman. I should have just done it.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 27:18, 17th Oct)

“No you two can escape, I’ll be the… I’ll- I’ll- I’ll be… I’ll be trapped in here…” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 27:27, 17th Oct)

“I just- I just want to f… I just wanna end it, I wanna end it. I wanna press that button, man.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 28:08, 17th Oct)

“I don’t, I don’t, I don’t want to kill you two. I don’t want you two to die.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 28:53, 17th Oct)

“Ohh, fuck you! Fuck you, man! Why do you make it so hard?! I should have just- I’m such a fucking showman.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 29:29, 17th Oct)

-He really cared and cares about L’manburg, and didn’t wat its ideals twisted to hurt others with

“What is your wildest dream?” (Tommy)

“A nation where we can brew drugs without anyone stopping us.” (Alivebur)

- (Wilbur’s The Wall: 5:26, 29th July)

“No matter what happens, no matter- Even if he comes- Even he destroys the very hot dog van that we live out of. Until the day we stop breathing, that is when L'Manberg has fallen. He can destroy the walls, he can slaughter our friends, our family, but until the day we stop breathing, and the moment that the dream we have of a self-emancipated nation away from Dream SMP falls- is the minute we let go of that dream, that’s when he has won.” - (Tommy’s World At War Vod: 1:16:04)

“Dream. When you imprisoned our men, slayed us, and your men essentially did great wrongs against my people, I let go, I let it slide on the condition that we would have emancipation from you, we’d have our freedom, and we wouldn’t have to reach a point of disagreement that we were reaching.” - (Wilbur’s The Revolution is Coming: 24:36, 2nd Aug)

“We don’t wish for bloodshed, we don’t wish for war, we don’t wish to show our power in any way, we just want our freedom, we just want emancipation, independence.” - (Wilbur’s The Revolution is Coming: 26:02, 2nd Aug)

“Look, Tommy we’ve always allowed women. Do you remember when we were making the decree it was, it doesn’t matter your sexuality, your gender, your race, you can join L’Manberg.” - (Wilbur’s Niki joins L'Manberg: 18:16, 6th Aug)

“They aren’t old school, these polices were formed from blood not long ago. … With the idea of liberty. … Of course they had to grow from war, we were oppressed! We were an oppressed people, Quackity. I led these people to freedom, and I will keep and uphold the polices which freed us.” - (Wilbur’s The Election Campaign: 46:55, 8th Sep)

“But what does matter to me, is that the fact that the leader of tyranny, who we fought for independence to get away from, is endorsing my opposition to become head of the very nation we’re trying to escape!” - (Wilbur’s The Election Campaign: 1:17:08, 8th Sep)

“My name’s been through enough. You need to fight for what this country believes in. Ignore what Dream says to me, I can take it.” - (Wilbur’s The Election Campaign: 1:18:52, 8th Sep)

“Literally we have the man himself, the man who led a war against our nation, is trying to talk to us like L’Manberg is some kind of nation for the conquering for him. To him, to him, we are just a conquest. We are not- He doesn’t care about our nation, he doesn’t care about us. … Listen, TommyInnit, GeorgeNotFound doesn’t care about us, he doesn’t care about our nation. All GeorgeNotFound cares about is adding another thing to his conquest, and Quackity is enabling this, right.” - (Wilbur’s The Election Campaign: 1:29:26, 8th Sep)

“What has made you do everything you’ve done up to this point?” (Quackity)

“That’s a- That’s a big question… um… I guess it’s- just- protection for my people, I mean I-I-I-I just want to see them thrive and I want to see them safe” (Wilbur)

-(Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:03:03, 12th Apr)

“Your aspirations of optimism are not going to be subject to my nation’s security I’m afraid. I- I completely disagree with everything you’ve said.” - (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:05:18, 12th Apr)

“I just want you to know, Big Q, that like, you know. I think, although we’ve had our differences and we’ve had our argument and stuff. Although we’ve had our disagreements and we’ve fought and stuff, I think we’re both looking out for the greater good of L’Manberg, you know. Much more than that Coconut2020 or whatever they’re called.” - (Wilbur’s Election Night: 45:00, 20th Sep)

“I said, the one thing I appreciate about Big Q, right, no matter what he says, right, he cares about L’Manberg, right. He really cares about L’Manberg. Even if his policies are direct opposites of mine, he at least cares about L’Manberg. These people just want power, they just want attention, right? So how about, in the case that Schlatt or Coconut, gets more votes than POG or SWAG, we make the POSWAGs” - (Wilbur’s Election Night: 1:07:38, 20th Sep)

“Coconut is against everything we stand for. They don’t care. They don’t care about L’Manberg, they just care about votes. We care about L’Manberg, and so did SWAG until they-” - (Wilbur’s Election Night: 1:15:58, 20th Sep)

“They’re gonna tear down the walls… … Tommy. They say they’re gonna tear down the walls. They’re gonna open it up to Americans. Our safe space! Our safe space. Remember, remember when we made the park? That was fun. Remember the Camarvan? Remember all the history we’ve had here? They’re gonna tear it down.” - (Wilbur’s Election Night: 1:18:17, 20th Sep)

“This isn’t- This isn’t- I’m not gonna be able to do anything to stop them tearing down the walls. I just need to have one- I’m doing this for principle, I’m doing this for tradition. I need to just have one last look, TommyInnit. I need to look at it one more time before it’s gone.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 38:18, 22nd Sep)

“No, I need to- I need to watch this, I need to- This was- This is a huge part of my- I need to, I need to- It would be- It’s like not turning up to a funeral.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 39:21, 22nd Sep)

“Will there be a L’Manberg after tonight?” (Tommy)

“Not as we know it.” (Alivebur)

- (Wilbur’s the election results: 50:03, 22nd Sep)

“Killing Schlatt wouldn’t do anything, killing Schlatt wouldn’t fix a single thing, that would not fix a single issue. ‘Cause then Quackity would just become President, and who knows if that would be worse, and then George would be Vice President. Then if we kill Quackity, then George would be President. It means nothing, Tommy. It wouldn’t have mattered if you killed him or not.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:07:52, 8th Oct)

“Then let’s be the bad guys. Tommy, why not? Why not? Look, our nation’s gone, our nation’s far behind us, Tommy. Let’s blow that motherfucker to smithereens.” - (Wilbur’s video Am I the Villain?: 16:33)

“What’s the point, Tommy? What’s the point in rebuilding this entire place from scratch?” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:14:07, 8th Oct)

“Look, do you know how long and how much blood was shed to get L’Manberg to the point it was at? You know what would happen if we manage to get L’Manberg back again? More blood would be shed, and we would be the illegitimate rulers of a nation.” - (Wilbur’s video Am I the Villain?: 18:52)

“I- Look, rigging L’Manberg is not gonna help us get it back, I’m aware of that. But sometimes in order to feel comfortable and safe you have to be ready to give up the things that you’re worried you might lose. And in this case, I think I might lose it already.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:17:57, 8th Oct)

“It’s what has to be done, man, it’s what has to be done. I was saying this to Tommy, I’ll say it again. If Schlatt loses to us, we’ve still lost. Schlatt’s a smart man, he knows what he’s done. He’s set up things up in such a way, so that our success will actually just cause another cycle of pain and death and destruction, right.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 6:56, 13th Oct)

“But here’s the thing, right, it’s about the fact that with or without, you know- If we win, Schlatt wins. If we lose, Schlatt wins. The only way we can possibly have any sort of semblance of victory is for us both to lose.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 8:00, 13th Oct)

“How are you gonna make Schlatt lose?” (Tubbo)

“By destroying the one thing we care about.” (Alivebur)

- (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 8:15, 13th Oct)

“Yesterday I had the perfect opportunity to blow everything up and finally end it, you know. I had the perfect opportunity to finally blow up everything and end it and just completely save everyone, right, from the tyranny of Schlatt and the tyranny of the existence of Manberg and L’Manberg, right.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 25:17, 17th Oct)

“And then that’s the be-all or end-all, that is either we take Manberg back - and Dream you fight us as much as you want for Manberg - and- or on the other side, we blow it all up! That’s the be-all or end-all, that’s where it either- It’s ends. It ends on the 16th. We have to end it.” - (Wilbur’s The Meeting: 43:47, 6th Nov)

“But none of them have the same anticipatory love of what they’re doing, unlike us. Everyone on our side is fighting for something we’ve loved, and had for ages, right. That’s why we’re gonna win, and that’s why you shouldn’t be afraid. And yes, the whole place is rigged.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 21:38, 16th Nov)

“T- Tommy, your only decree as President happened to be one of the best decrees you could have ever make! Welcome to L’Manberg, L’Manberg, welcome, please use the name correctly from here on. And so in keeping with the theme, I am also going to do a change.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:07:27, 16th Nov)

“That flag you that see over there, the obsidian one, scrap it. That is not the national flag of our nation. The national flag of our nation is yellow, black, red, white, and blue. And that’s how it should be, and that’s one of the first things I want changed.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:07:43, 16th Nov)

“And this is something I want this to be one last time. It’s important to know how to say goodbye to a nation, to my L’Manberg.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:08:47, 16th Nov)

“That there was a special place, there was, was a special place, where men could go and emancipate, you know. And there was definitely, that special place did exist once, it did. It did. But even with Tubbo in charge, I don’t think it can exist again. I don’t think it can exist again.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:12:22, 16th Nov)

“The thing that I built this nation for doesn’t exist anymore! The thing I worked towards doesn’t exist anymore! It’s over.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:13:11, 16th Nov)

“I was just saying, I made this big point, and it was poignant, and it was that, it’s um, that there was a special place where men could go but it’s not there anymore, you know. It’s not-” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:14:43, 16th Nov)

“Uh, one thing, I didn’t actually really care about L'Manberg, I just cared about, you know, sticking it to the man. Actually, I cared about L'Manberg for the sole reason that I could use it to stick it to the man.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 24:18, 5th May)

“Look, I- Okay, I said it wrong. Look, I did care about- I did care about L'Manberg, but I cared about it for- You would call it the wrong reasons, but I, I- Just don’t think about it, don’t think about it too hard. Look, L'Manberg’s gone now, we’ve got that, you know- That, that wart on my side is gone, you know. I salute it, I salute it, you know, it was a great- It was a great place.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 25:18, 5th May)

“Look, Tommy, I’m gonna reiterate for you once more because I don’t think you quite understood, and that’s okay, you know, you don’t need to understand everything. I did care about L'Manberg. I did, I did. A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet, Tommy. L'Manberg would have been as loved by me had it been called Bimbum and was built in the middle of the desert.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 26:05, 5th May)

“The actual location, and the actual things it was, it were, were not important to me. It’s the thing it stood for. Which was freedom, liberty, and sticking it to the man, Tommy!” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 26:26, 5th May)

“We were a family, Tommy. We were…” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 27:26, 5th May)

“Yeah, it’s great. I personally am a big, big fan of the song. Not just 'cause I wrote, I know, you know they say, you know they always say you are your own worst critic. But, I mean, I, I think it’s good.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 8:07, 3rd Aug)

“So it’s obviously based on Hallelujah right? But the thing is, the thing is, Ranboo, right, is that the reason we did it is because Tommy used to sing Hallelujah to the plants.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 8:46, 3rd Aug)

“He used to plant the stuff around the caravan and then to make it grow better, he used to- To make it grow better, my man Tommy- … So, my man Tommy, used to sing to the plants to make them grow better. Uh, and that was the song he used to sing.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 9:14, 3rd Aug)

“So I thought, what a way to honour Tommy, you know, one of the most loyal members of our fair nation, than by naming the song after him, you know? And singing it based on his little, his little muse, you know?” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 9:47, 3rd Aug)

“Anyway, I’m excited, let’s go to L'Manberg. Or to what was L'Man- It’s just a big glass thing now, isn’t it?” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 10:56, 3rd Aug)

“I- Ah- It’s kinda- I’m not a fan. It’s kinda rude to L'Manberg’s history, you know? It’s called L'Manberg. It’s called L'Manberg. Not Manberg, not L'Crater, or whatever. L'Manhole… I don’t care. It’s now, L'Manberg. It’s always L'Manberg. It’s just how it goes.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 11:06, 3rd Aug)

“Ohh! It’s got the flag, man! Can we go down and see the flag?! Come on, come on, come on! Fuck, get me down there, get me down there. Shit, I’m struggling to climb! I’m like a lemming. I don’t care, I’m just gonna jump!” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 11:49, 3rd Aug)

“See, this is, this is what it deserved. Not that glass bullshit, you know? This is what it needed. It needed this like, this like beautiful overgrown, like- It feels like, it feels like, it feels like, you know, it happened now, you know? It doesn’t just feel like, it doesn’t just feel like, 'oh yeah it’s a monument’. It feels like- This is- You know, nature’s claimed it back and this is the world.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 12:14, 3rd Aug)

“It’s weird seeing you here.” (Tubbo)

“Wha- What, in L'Manberg? That seems like the most normal place to see me, right?” (Alivebur)

- (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 13:57, 3rd Aug)

“Sorry, that’s kinda… hit me. Not, not the blowing up part, I mean, I’ve done that. You know, I’m not, I’m not shaken up about that. The thing I’m shaken up about, man, is that, you rebuilt this. After I’d gone.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 18:48, 3rd Aug)

“Oh yeah the fucking ghost- Who car- You rebuilt this!” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 19:03, 3rd Aug)

“Fuck a grave. I was so pressed about not having a grave. Screw a grave. I built something that you… that you love, that you wanted to preserve, that’s- Tubbo, that’s worth more to me than a grave, that’s worth more to me than this shrine, that’s worth more-” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 19:09, 3rd Aug)

“Tubbo, this is probably the best gift I’ve ever been given. Just this knowledge, that you actually cared enough to rebuild this community after it fell.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 19:26, 3rd Aug)

“You feel lost without, without a nation. I guess that’s where anarchy fails.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 19:51, 3rd Aug)

“Yeah we fought against Dream, uh, and we managed to- We succeeded and we created a life for ourselves.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:13, 3rd Aug)

“Ranboo, I’m gonna tell you something I’ve never really told anyone. I try and keep this on the low because I don’t want, I don’t want people to use this against me is the main problem.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:19, 3rd Aug)

“I didn’t even tell Tommy, I lied to Tommy, I’ll be honest. I’m gonna tell him soon that I lied to him because it kinda eats away at me.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:29, 3rd Aug)

“I told Tommy that I didn’t actually care about L'Manberg, and that it was just like a tool for me to use to gain like, you know, power and stuff. But it’s not, it’s not true.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:36, 3rd Aug)

“L'Manberg is- was really important to me. And it is still to this day.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:47, 3rd Aug)

“I want it to, em, I want its history to live on not as a stain caused by me, you know. I basically just took a big shit on the history books, it feels like. I wanna, I wanna make it, I wanna make it feel like it was, you know, it was something that happened. You know, it was a great thing, you know, think of the good times. The- The years of safety. Well, not years, but you know.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:47, 3rd Aug)

“The time of safety, the time of fun, prosperity, you know. We built parks, we had, you know, no taxes, we had big walls. We had democracy. Albeit, a slightly disjointed version of it. But, you know. I want, that’s how people remember L'Manberg. That’s what people think of when they think of our nation.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:47, 3rd Aug)

“And you know, Tubbo, Tubbo’s the last connection we really have. I mean, he… he’d said it himself he’s kind of, you know, he’s got nothing without it.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 27:36, 3rd Aug)

“I’ve heard about what- what- Tommy’s, you know, moved on, and how Jack’s moved on, and Niki’s moved on, and everyone’s moved on from L'Manberg, at least partially, but Tubbo, man, he’s still…” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 27:45, 3rd Aug)

“I think he’s gonna be alright. He’s gonna be alright. I’m looking at him, I’m looking out for him here.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 28:14, 3rd Aug)

Ghostbur wore this care for L’Manburg and its people on his sleeve as well (and rebuilt most of it when making New L’Manburg):

“Everything for L’Manberg. For L’Manberg, my L’Manberg.” - (Wilbur’s Amangus with new and old friends: 1:46:29, 24th Nov)

“Hey, Tubbo, why are you wearing armour in L’Manberg? I thought that was the rule. You haven’t changed, have you, Tubbo? You haven’t changed, have you?“ - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 59:21, 16th Dec)

“This doesn’t look like something L’Manberg would build.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:08:03, 16th Dec)

“I’ve been reading a lot of history books recently, Philza. Lot of the L’Manberg history books, right? Because I know that Alivebur was really important in it, right? And I was reading them all, and I read one of the things, one of the first doctrinations that the entirety of this nation was formed on was the idea that everyone’s free. Everyone’s free to do what they want, and live how they want. I don’t think cages are conducive to that environment.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:08:08, 16th Dec)

“Right, but also, another thing. Techno was always allowed in L’Manberg. He was always allowed in there. But now he’s not. Now there’s loads of signs about him, wanting him alive. What’s that about?” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:08:37, 16th Dec)

“And Tubbo shot you with a bow!” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:09:08, 16th Dec)

“I thought Tubbo was the- Tubbo’s a good guy.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:09:16, 16th Dec)

“Yeah! Because you finally put an end to Alivebur, and everyone didn’t like him. But from what I’ve seen, he sort of had the longest era of peace in L’Manberg.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:11:46, 16th Dec)

“I’m going to go see this cage.” *starts singing the first verse of the anthem* - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:17:18, 16th Dec)

“I wrote the verses! I wrote the second and third verses it was a very happy memory for me.“ - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:17:44, 16th Dec)

“Phil, I don’t think a cage is very indicative of L’Manberg. I’m going to get rid of the cage.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:18:16, 16th Dec)

“Freedom! This entire nation’s about freedom and doing whatever you want.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:19:41, 16th Dec)

“I just destroyed the cage, I destroyed the shackles of oppression, I have drained the bog- the mire of injustice, and I have found peace in a land of tyranny!” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:19:47, 16th Dec)

“Ranboo, don’t you think Phil can leave his house? He can leave his house, can’t he, Ranboo?” (Ghostbur)

“He can’t, he’s legally not able to.” (Ranboo)

“But- Where men can go and emancipate. Do you know what emancipate means?” (Ghostbur)

- (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:20:05, 16th Dec)

“But L’Manberg’s all about freedom, and doing whatever you want, and being able to be whoever you want and go where you want.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:20:25, 16th Dec)

“I just took down the cage that you built, ‘cause I think that was a mistake. And I think maybe Philza should be let out of his house because he’s a citizen of L’Manberg.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:20:35, 16th Dec)

“Why- Why did you- Why did you blow up L’Manberg?” - (Wilbur’s First Time Ghostbur Live: 17:19, 6th Jan)

“You knew Friend was in your house! You knew! Stop! Stop! Stop! You knew Friend was in your house! You knew everything everyone owned was in this town!” - (Wilbur’s First Time Ghostbur Live: 17:39, 6th Jan)

“I don’t- I don’t- I don’t- I don’t want to listen- I don’t want to hear what you have to say. I don’t want to have to hear what you have to say. I- I- I’ve read the history books, Phil. I’ve read the history books. You- You- You slayed the dragon, you slayed Alivebur. You were the- You- You are the St George of the Dream SMP. We understand, everyone understands that, Phil. But, look what you’ve done. How can you look at this and still see yourself as a hero. Sending a message, Phil. Sending a message?” - (Wilbur’s First Time Ghostbur Live: 17:58, 6th Jan)

“Me? I’ve just been, you know, having a nice time wandering. I’ve been wandering around L’Manberg, something keeps drawing me to L’Manberg, so I’ve just sorta been hanging out there. I don’t really know what I’m gonna do.” - (Tubbo’s Exploding Stuff w/ Tommy: 39:05, 22nd Apr)

“I don’t know it just feels like I have to be there, you know?” - (Tubbo’s Exploding Stuff w/ Tommy: 39:17, 22nd Apr)

-He didn’t leave, nor escaped consequences, nor pressured Phil into killing him. He committed suicide

“No you two can escape, I’ll be the… I’ll- I’ll- I’ll be… I’ll be trapped in here…” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 27:27, 17th Oct)

“I just- I just want to f… I just wanna end it, I wanna end it. I wanna press that button, man.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 28:08, 17th Oct)

“My L’Manberg. My L’Manberg. As long- As long as I know the button is here… as long as I know. As long as I know the button is here. It’s just not today. I just need to know that it’s there for a fall-back. I need to know it’s there.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 33:46, 17th Oct)

“I’ve been hasty. But the fact that I know it’s there, and I can just stroke my right mouse button, that’s all I need. As long as I know it’s there.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 34:27, 17th Oct)

“Chekhov’s Gun. Chekhov’s Gun. I’ll be honest with you, chat, I’ve been wondering this whole time if it still works. I’ve been thinking to myself does it still- ‘Cause I fixed it up for today.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:11:36, 16th Nov)

“Phil, I’m always so close to pressing this button, Phil! I have been here, like seven or eight times I have been here… Seven or eight times” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:14:56, 16th Nov)

“Phil, I’ve been here here so many times.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:15:13, 16th Nov)

“I don’t even know if it works anymore, Phil. I don’t even know if the button works. I could, I could… press it, and it might-” (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:15:29, 16th Nov)

“There was a saying, Phil, by a traitor, once part of L’Manberg. A traitor I don’t know if you’ve heard of Eret? He had a saying, Phil. It was never meant to be.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:15:56, 16th Nov)

“My L’Manberg, Phil! My unfinished symphony! Forever unfinished! If I can’t have this, no one can, Phil!” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:16:40, 16th Nov)

“Kill me Phil. Phil kill me. Phil, kill me. Phil, stab me with a sword, murder me now. Kill me. Killza. Killza. Do it. Murder me. Look, they all want you to! Do it Phil, kill me. Phil, kill me.” - (Wilbur’s video Finale: 30:22)

“God you’re… You’re my son!” (Philza)

“Phil, kill me!” (Wilbur)

-(Wilbur’s video Finale: 30:34)

“Look! Look! How much work went into this and it’s gone?!” - (Wilbur’s video Finale: 30:42)

“Do it. Do it.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:17:20, 16th Nov)

“Do you wanna be alive again?” (Tubbo)

“Oh, hell no. No. God, oh god.” (Alivebur)

- (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:29:22, 20th Jan)

“We can bring you back.” (Tommy)

“W– What?” (Alivebur)

- (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:31:46, 20th Jan)

“The reason why Dream isn’t dead now, off his own server, banned, is because we can bring you back.” (Tommy)

“Y– W– I– But I– I– I don’t- I don’t wanna- I- I don’t.” (Alivebur)

- (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:31:53, 20th Jan)

“Are you sure?” (Tubbo)

“W– You made a– You… You made a– The one person on the server who is– I… You want– Let me get it straight. So you managed to get the discs by… Wait, so the reason Dream’s not dead is because you want me back alive?” (Alivebur)

- (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:32:09, 20th Jan)

“Guys, I– What the fuck have you done?! What have you done?! The one thing I wanted was to stay fucking dead!” - (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:33:30, 20th Jan)

“I’m really happy you’re here, man. I felt this place growing for you in here, right? And you know why I’m glad, Tommy, you know why I’m glad? Because me and you were never good for that server. We just weren’t. Like, you can look at the whole history of the server, and it all falls in our laps, the problems, right.” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 9:35, 4th March)

“Think about it, everything that’s gone wrong, is down to us, it lies at our footsteps.” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 9:59, 4th March)

“Here’s the thing, I genuinely think, if it weren’t for me and you dying right, the server would be in shambles. I know for a fact that if I come back, or if I’m brought back to life in some way it’s definitely gonna just go [shit again]” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 10:10, 4th March)

“I know what I’m like, that’s the issue.” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 10:29, 4th March)

“Tommy, I thought I wanted to die. All those- That decade and and a half ago, I thought I wanted to die. I thought I wanted to die, but now I’ve seen what hell is, now I’ve seen the other side!” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 58:05, 29th Apr)

“Are you trying to- Are you trying to make me- Tommy, are you trying to make me- You remember that time in the cave? Are you trying- Are you trying do- Are you trying to make me feel like I did back then, in Pogtopia? Are you trying to- Are you trying to make me feel as bad as I did back then? ‘Cause it’s not gonna work!” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 59:06, 29th Apr)

-He wasn't in fact abusive in Pogtopia

Since this would be proving a negative, refer back to prior points regarding his care for people, his situation during Pogtopia, his care for L'Manburg and its people, etc

-He’s only taken one life (which was canonized only in retrospect)

This was Jack Manifold's second life, canonized as being killed by Wilbur in the Manburg vs Pogtopia war, so... you know... A goddamn WAR. And this was also not a canon life at the time, being turned canon in retrospect due to the canonization of Jack "losing his lives and going to hell just to crawl out of it"

-He wanted Phil to be proud of him and not worry (which is why he lied in the letters)

“I miss Philza. I wonder if he’d be proud of me.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 52:17, 16th Oct)

“I’m excited to meet Phil. I, I hope he-” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 44:10, 5th May)

“Phil, I- … Phil, I’ve made an agreement with myself that I wouldn’t lie now that I’ve been brought back to life, because the thing is, Phil, I wasn’t that big of a liar in the first place but just y- Try- Imagine you’re at summer camp, Phil! Imagine you’re away at summer camp, and you’re having the worst shit time of your life but your parents are paying good money for it right. And your parents ask you, 'hey, how are you doing at summer camp?’, I’m not gonna write back, 'Oh yeah, it’s fine, the counsellor’s just burnt down the group house, but we’re having a great time!’. You know, no, I’m gonna tell you it’s going great, I’m gonna tell you it’s marvellous. I did it to save your feelings, Phil, and I’m… I’m sorry I forgot to write, and that’s why you ended up coming down, but, like it’s not- It wasn’t spite, it wasn’t spite, I promise.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 50:37, 5th May)

-He tends to project his own feelings when talking to other people about how he sees they feel

“When I look at you, as a fellow outsider… you’re not ready for that. I’m leaving.” - (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:06:48, 12th Apr)

“Tommyinnit, you’re scared that people are gonna think differently of you. Tommy, when I said you’re never gonna be president, you gotta understand, that wasn’t a challenge, that’s true. You’re never gonna be president, Tommy. And I can hear it in your voice, you’re trying sound like you know what you’re doing, so that you can prove me wrong. Tommy, none of us know what we’re doing. We’re fucked, we were fucked the minute we were thrown out.” - (Wilbur’s video Am I the Villain?: 19:39)

“And, I know you’re scared, Tommy, I understand you’re scared. And it’s scary, it’s scary, Tommy, but do you know what? You know what? In a time like this, when a man has nothing to lose, do you know what that means? It means we can do what we want - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:15:52, 8th Oct)

“I’m really happy you’re here, man. I felt this place growing for you in here, right? And you know why I’m glad, Tommy, you know why I’m glad? Because me and you were never good for that server. We just weren’t. Like, you can look at the whole history of the server, and it all falls in our laps, the problems, right.” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 9:35, 4th March)

“Think about it, everything that’s gone wrong, is down to us, it lies at our footsteps.” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 9:59, 4th March)

“Here’s the thing, I genuinely think, if it weren’t for me and you dying right, the server would be in shambles. I know for a fact that if I come back, or if I’m brought back to life in some way it’s definitely gonna just go [shit again]” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 10:10, 4th March)

“Sounds like you’ve set yourself up for a bit of a stressful life with this.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 26:23, 25th July)

“I’ve been investing into the wrong areas, Ranboo. I’ve been investing into the wrong, wrong people. We’re kindred, man. We get each other.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 39:13, 25th July)

“We may have so much different, but you know what the one thing we’ve got in common, our strongest point, and you mustn’t take offence to this. Neuroticism.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 39:26, 25th July)

“Me and you are just as neurotic as each other, just as nervous. But the thing is, it’s not our downfall, you know. Anxiety isn’t necessarily, you know, an evil trait to have. Anxiety is what kept our ancestors alive, Ranboo. You, me, your parents, whoever they may be, my parents. Do you know how they’re alive? Because they were anxious. They didn’t let another thing kill them, they didn’t let another thing take them down. Our ancestors, the cavemen in the words, or caveendermen, I guess. They were anxious when they heard the lion roar, the were anxious when they heard the wolf howl. And you know what they did? They got inside and they hid. And that’s why we’re here today.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 39:37, 25th July)

“Ranboo, me and you are neurotic, and that’s why we’re alive right now, talking to each other and doing this.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 40:25, 25th July)

-He feels inhuman. He knows that people see him as a freak, evil or crazy and that makes him feel dehumanized

“TommyInnit, as you know, is just, he thinks I’m insane. I’m not insane, chat, I’m not insane.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 4:30, 16th Oct)

“See, I’m not so crazy, Tommy. I know what I’m doing.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 16:40, 16th Oct)

“I’ve told you, I’m not crazy, Tommy. I know what I’m doing, and this is genuinely the best thing we could do right now.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 17:18, 16th Oct)

“I’m not crazy! How am I crazy?!” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 43:18, 17th Oct)

“History is written by the winners.” (Ghostbur)

“Yeah, and he, he technically won. I mean, he did what he wanted to.” (Ranboo)

“But then he lost and everyone hates him.” (Ghostbur)

- (Ranboo’s Preparation: 13:55, 14th Mar)

“Everyone I seem to meet has this deep intrisnic feeling of disgust towards me. Jack Manifold seemed to be quite nice to me, but I reckon he, I could feel it, you know, in his stare. But like, you don’t have that. I can tell you’re a good guy.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 30:24, 5th May)

“Quackity, I’ve, I’ve, I’ve, I’ll be honest you with you, I’ve lost everything, man. I, um. I’ve lost decades of my life. I’ve lost my- most of the people who cared about me. Some people don’t even know I’m back yet, and I, and I think that’s probably for the best. So I feel like that does humble a man. That really humbles a man, you know?” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 1:00:52, 31st May)

“Listen, Phil, I met, I met Quackity. After you very kindly lent me your house. I went and met him. Yeah! I met up with him, and I hadn’t seen him in ages. It was, I’m gonna say it, it was nice. It was a nice time. I- I- It felt good, it felt, uh, you know, he didn’t, he didn’t seem afraid of me, which is cool.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 7:38, 25th July)

“Not many people do. I mean, Phil, you don’t seem afraid of me, you’re not afraid of me, are you, Phil?” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 8:03, 25th July)

“Good, good. 'Cause I’m not afraid of you.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 8:10, 25th July)

“Why? Why? … No, no, no, no, no, not the, not the bit about the, not the bit about the right foot, the why don’t you think I’m a bad person?” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 35:13, 25th July)

“Can I be real with you, man? I think I scare people.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 36:30, 25th July)

“I mean, like I, I, I, I don’t think I, I- I think a lot of people share your idea, but they share your idea in trying to- trying to keep me from hurting them, you know? Like they’ve seen what I can do, and they don’t want me to do it again, so they adopt your emotion in order to do it.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 36:46, 25th July)

“Dream is- He’s had his comeuppance, and I have not! My comeuppance was apparently not good enough for this people. They’re just waiting, they’re waiting for the next thing for me to slip up on, and, Ranboo, I’m not gonna fucking slip up, Ranboo. I’m different.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 38:07, 25th July)

“I’m living in eternal limbo, again. I’ve been through limbo, I’m out of limbo, and socially, I’m still in this limbo.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 38:36, 25th July)

“I’m sorry I wasn’t, you know, entirely on the same page. But, man, I promise you, I’ve calmed down, you know, I’m all, I’m all settled in. I understand, you know, what’s changed, what hasn’t, who’s new, who’s old, you know, who’s still about, you know, who… Who, uh… uh… Who trusts me and stuff.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 15:04, 3rd Aug)

“I relived that explosion in my head so many times man. And, and, and I- I get that you don’t, you don’t trust me, I do, but like, man, look at me, bro, I’m not gonna do it again. I’m not gonna- I’m not gonna hurt you again.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 21:21, 3rd Aug)

“Ranboo, I want to say thank you, man, for, you know, for trusting me this quick. I mean you’ve barely, you’ve barely known me like, you know, very long, and you’ve instantly just, you know. You’ve done all this with me and you’ve worked with me, and I- You know, I don’t, I don’t know where I’d be without you here right now, man” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 28:20, 3rd Aug)

“When I look at him… When I look at him, when he’s helping me out, building things with me… I see the same eyes that looked at me when, when…” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 28:43, 3rd Aug)

“There weren’t some fun times in the ravine of Pogtopia. I wasn’t a very well man. And I can just see Tommy from that day.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 28:54, 3rd Aug)

“But like I was saying, though, Ranboo, I, I really appreciate it, man. I- Thank you for trusting me.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 29:11, 3rd Aug)

“I feel alive, Ranboo, I feel alive. Someone’s looking at me and talking to me! I’m alive, I’m alive! This is great.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 27:22, 4th Aug)

-He did in fact spend 13 and a half years in limbo. Alone. In the dark. Deprived of everything

“I- I feel so numb, I feel… Who- Wh- Are you- Who the fuck- Who the fuck is this- Who the fuck’s, Friend?” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 52:28, 29th Apr)

“I’m sor- I’ve obviously- No, no, no, no. I’ve obviously missed a beat here. I’ve missed a beat. What’s happening? Why am I here?” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 52:54, 29th Apr)

“I have spent thirteen and a half years, in the fucking-!” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 54:05, 29th Apr)

“I can- I can feel…” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 54:23, 29th Apr)

“Tommy, I- Tommy, I don’t know if you remember- … Tommy, I don’t if you- Do you remember when you came to visit me briefly? That was lovely, by the way. I cherished that day you came to visit me, TommyInnit. I cherished that. Remember when we played competitive solitaire for like three months! It was brilliant! I wish you’d dropped in longer.” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 55:29, 29th Apr)

Tommy, I don’t know if you remember me telling you this, it was quite a few years ago for me now. But my personal limbo was a train platform, Tommy. It was a train platform. No matter where I look, no matter where I went, just concrete walls all around, and a tube with a track running straight along.” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 56:33, 29th Apr)

“It doesn’t matter what I did, Tommy. I could claw on the walls, I could bash on the doors, I could scream for help- I screamed until my lungs were sore, till my voice was hoarse. And nothing ever changes, nothing ever comes, nothing ever helps you, Tommy.” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 57:00, 29th Apr)

“And then you arrive, you arrive, and it was great! And then you left. You got on a train and you left.” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 57:12, 29th Apr)

“Well, I, I’m in my forties now, Tommy. I mean, I’m- Uh. I counted the years, man. How old are you now, what, you must be like, what, twenty, thirty? You’re in your twenties, thirties now? How old are you? I mean it’s been a long time. It’s been thirteen years.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 9:00, 5th May)

“I had thirteen years, I had thirteen years in complete solitude, Phil. Mostly complete solitude. In a dim room. No, no, Phil, it’s like method acting. I’ve- I- I- I- I- Honestly, if you’d got me out of there about six years into it, man, you would have not liked to see me then. I was, I was not in a good state six years ago. But now, man, now, thirteen years later? It’s like I came full circle, I’m a new man, I’m a fresh face. Isn’t that right, Tommy?” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 52:07, 5th May)

“Okay. Tubbo, I’ve literally- I was dead for thirteen years. I know it wasn’t long for you, I know it was only a couple months for you, but, thirteen years, Tubbo. Thirteen years of my life. I aged! Look at me, I’m not the same young man you knew!” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 20:52, 3rd Aug)

“I’ve, I’ve been through it. And in those thirteen years, Tubbo, I wasn’t just sat twiddling my thumbs just going 'Oo this is nice, oh, I’m in darkness right now’. You know, I was, I was thinking.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 21:10, 3rd Aug)

“I relived that explosion in my head so many times man. And, and, and I- I get that you don’t, you don’t trust me, I do, but like, man, look at me, bro, I’m not gonna do it again. I’m not gonna- I’m not gonna hurt you again.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 21:21, 3rd Aug)

He’s missing huge chunks of information, even with some of Ghostbur’s memories (since he doesn’t know about doomsday, we can know that he at least doesn’t exactly know about everything Ghostbur even saw, and with Ghostbur’s memory issues in mind, we could assume he’s missing whatever Ghostbur’s mind considered a “bad memory”):

“Ohh, fuck! Did I- Did I do that? Oo, that’s not a good look, is it? That’s not a good look for me.” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 53:06, 29th Apr)

“Ohhh. Ohh, no. Oh I really did a number on this place, huh? Oh ho, ho, ho boy! Oh dear! Oh no! I really did a number here.” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 53:23, 29th Apr)

“I remember the prison, because I’ve got- I remember some of what Ghostbur remembers.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 12:21, 5th May)

“Tommy, do you remember when you got sent into exile? Yeah. I remember. I was there, Tommy, I was there. I was there. I was in the cage of that little ghost’s fucking head. Every single step you and me took-” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 20:23, 5th May)

“Look at me, Tommy. Look me in the eyes. Every single step me and you took, I was there, I was there. I had no control of what was happening, I have no idea what was being said. But, Tommy, I’ll tell you what, if I was there, and if it wasn’t that stupid shell of a ghost instead of me, I would have struck down Dream right where he stood. We would have disembowelled him, we would have disembowelled him together. Together.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 20:42, 5th May)

“Tommy, I’m not, I’m not- I wasn’t blind, I saw what he was doing to you, Tommy. I saw. I saw what he was doing to Tubbo. I saw what he did to me.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 21:08, 5th May)

“He seems- I remember him as a good guy. Ghostbur really liked this guy. I have this memory.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 27:59, 5th May)

“So, Las Nevadas, Snowchester… I thought- Techno and Phil told me they were successful- Well, just Phil, I haven’t spoken to Techno since it happened. But like, Phil told me that they were successful and that there’s no more nations anymore, and that it’s anarchy. ” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 45:50, 25th July)

“Wait and that’s- Hold on. Why would, why would Techno and Phil do this? Why would Techno and Phil want to blow up L'Manberg? Didn’t they live here? I mean, I don’t know about Techno but-” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 18:18, 3rd Aug)

“And it was just Techno and Phil?” (Alivebur)

“Yes…” (Tubbo)

- (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 18:39, 3rd Aug)

“Sorry, that’s kinda… hit me. Not, not the blowing up part, I mean, I’ve done that. You know, I’m not, I’m not shaken up about that. The thing I���m shaken up about, man, is that, you rebuilt this. After I’d gone.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 18:48, 3rd Aug)

“Oh yeah the fucking ghost- Who car- You rebuilt this!” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 19:03, 3rd Aug)

He’s expressed that he’s ecstatic to be alive again and never wants to go back to limbo:

“Ohhh. Ohhh, Tommy. Ohh, Tommy. Tommy, this is bliss!” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 54:32, 29th Apr)

“Oh my god the sunrise. Where’s the sun- I need to watch the sun rise. Oh! Tommy, I’ve waited so fucking long. Tommy, I have been waiting over a decade, in near darkness. This is my sunrise. This is my sunrise. This is mine! This is mine, Tubbo!” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 54:43, 29th Apr)

“Tommy, it was the worst time of my fucking life, Tommy. Tommy, I don’t know if you know-” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 55:53, 29th Apr)

“Tommy, I thought I wanted to die. All those- That decade and and a half ago, I thought I wanted to die. I thought I wanted to die, but now I’ve seen what hell is, now I’ve seen the other side!” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 58:05, 29th Apr)

“Tommy, I’ve been given a new lease on life. There’s so much I need to do, Tommy. There’s so much I’ve gotta do. There’s so much! Tubbo, are you coming, and Ranboo…?” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 58:16, 29th Apr)

“Are you trying to- Are you trying to make me- Tommy, are you trying to make me- You remember that time in the cave? Are you trying- Are you trying do- Are you trying to make me feel like I did back then, in Pogtopia? Are you trying to- Are you trying to make me feel as bad as I did back then? ‘Cause it’s not gonna work!” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 59:06, 29th Apr)

“I have this lease on life, and by god, if life’s a fucking horse, I’m gonna ride it, Tommy! I’m sor- I’ve gotta go. I’ve got things to do, I’ve got things to plan. I’ll see you soon, alright? I’ll see you next time. Alright, bye guys! Bye, bye!” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 59:24, 29th Apr)

“No, no, no, oh no, god forbid, god for- I can eat, I can feel. Hit me, pinch me, pinch me. Ah! See? I’m tangible.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 21:58, 31st May)

-He really regrets what happened in Pogtopia

I need to make some apologies. I told you I needed to have a think. And I don’t think an apology will ever sum up what I did here, I mean, look at this mess.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 8:00, 5th May)

“But like I think, I think I do need to um. I need to apologise to some people, you know, I’ve gotta make amends. I’ve gotta make amends, and I promise that’s true.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 8:27, 5th May)

“I know- Look at me, look at me in the eyes. I know it’s hard to believe when you look at me, that I… you know- I’ve turned over a new leaf, I’ve turned over a new leaf, you know. I’m feeling good! I’m feeling really, really… well. In the head, in the body. I feel limber.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 8:38, 5th May)

“I wanna apologise to Skeppy. You know, I wanna say sorry to Skeppy if Skeppy has got some problems with me.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 12:45, 5th May)

“No, I need to apologise, man. It’s important that I…” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 12:59, 5th May)

“Jack, I came here for one simple reason, Jack. One simple reason. Jack, it’s super simple! Jack, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t grant freedom and liberty to Manifoldland, and I’m sorry I led you into war that you didn’t have faith in, I’m sorry that I denied you access to the election, and I’m sorry you were just kinda left behind the whole time. I’m sorry. And I’m especially sorry for of course blowing up your house and your world.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 22:59, 5th May)

“Hm. Yes. I am. Yep. I am. And I- You don’t have to forgive me, you don’t have to accept my apology, I will- I will, em- I’ll go, uh, but yeah.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 23:33, 5th May)

“Listen, Tommy, Tommy, and in my oath of not lying, I’m gonna tell you now, Tommy, I’m sorry for a couple things, to each of these people, right, on the server. I’m sorry to a lot of them, except for Phil. I have nothing to apologise to Phil for, Phil has done nothing wrong.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 24:50, 5th May)

“Tommy, I’ve said this before, I have no issue with anyone on the server. I am deeply apologetic.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 28:47, 5th May)

“Tommy’s very suspicious of me because of who I was, you know? Who I was, but it’s uh. Look, I’m apologetic, I’m genuinely I, I feel very bad for everything that I did, and I shan’t do something similar to that again.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 30:55, 5th May)

“Quackity, I’ve, I’ve, I’ve, I’ll be honest you with you, I’ve lost everything, man. I, um. I’ve lost decades of my life. I’ve lost my- most of the people who cared about me. Some people don’t even know I’m back yet, and I, and I think that’s probably for the best. So I feel like that does humble a man. That really humbles a man, you know? Life is paved with the mistakes you make, and uh, it’s not about when you made the mistakes or what you did, it’s about how you can improve from them, you know? And that’s what um, I guess that’s what I’m trying to do.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 1:00:52, 31st May)

“Uh, I saw Jack Manifold, I saw Phil, I saw this Ranboo guy, Tommy, obviously, and now you. I mean there’s lots of people who I wish I could see, like I wish I could just tell them like ‘I’m alive!’ and, and apologise, and also thank them.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 1:01:38, 31st May)

“Alright. I mean, I’m trying to move past that kinda stuff…” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 7:21, 25th July)

“Look, I’m not, I’m not, I’m not coming at you here like judging you. I- I’m not one to talk about conflict, man.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 33:27, 25th July)

“Do you know all it took- Do you know I demolished Jack Manifold’s house, twice. I brutally ignored him during the war of L'Man- He fought for my country, and I ignored him. I didn’t look at him, I didn’t give him so much as a medal, I didn’t give so much as a rank. I gave him the lowest rank on the cabinet. And do you what it took, do you know what it took for him to forgive me? A sorry.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 37:10, 25th July)

“I’m sorry I wasn’t, you know, entirely on the same page. But, man, I promise you, I’ve calmed down, you know, I’m all, I’m all settled in. I understand, you know, what’s changed, what hasn’t, who’s new, who’s old, you know, who’s still about, you know, who… Who, uh… uh… Who trusts me and stuff.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 15:04, 3rd Aug)

“Super simply, man. I just want to say I- I want to say I’m sorry. For one thing mainly, uh, I’ve been thinking about this for y- Literal years, literal years I’ve been thinking about this. Uh, I’m sorry for, uh, I’m sorry for making you president specifically before blowing it up. And I’m sorry for when I did this and blew all this up and making this hole, I’m sorry that I, uh, I said you were the president of a crater. I just want to say that I’m sorry, I’m really, really sorry.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 15:56, 3rd Aug)

“I relived that explosion in my head so many times man. And, and, and I- I get that you don’t, you don’t trust me, I do, but like, man, look at me, bro, I’m not gonna do it again. I’m not gonna- I’m not gonna hurt you again.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 21:21, 3rd Aug)

“I know you had that- at the festival, with Technoblade. I never spoke to you properly about this. I- I could have saved you.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 21:41, 3rd Aug)

“Tubbo, I’m- I’m reaching out to you here, man, I’m on my knees, bro. Like, I- I’m sorry, I’m really, really sorry. And I literally, your forgiveness means so much to me, but it doesn’t, it doesn’t give up what I did to you, and it doesn’t give up how I failed you as a friend… you know, as a, I mean, fuck being, as a co-worker, but just you know, anything.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 21:56, 3rd Aug)

“Tubbo, like, man, I’m- I want to make it up to you. And you know what? I appreciate that you don’t trust me yet. I do.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 22:26, 3rd Aug)

“Tubbo, I, I really appreciate it. And I mean that, genuinely. I appreciate it. And I’m gonna go out and I’m gonna, I’m gonna prove to you that I’m worth being trusted again. I promise.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 22:44, 3rd Aug)

“I’ll do it. I’ll do it. I’ll redeem myself.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 22:55, 3rd Aug)

“I- Tubbo, Tubbo, I know, I know, Tubbo, Tubbo, Tubbo, Tubbo, please, I know. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 23:13, 3rd Aug)

“It feels like such a weak word. I feel like there’s nothing stronger that I can say. And I, and I, and I understand what you mean about how my actions need to reflect it and they will.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 23:20, 3rd Aug)

“Give me time. I’m gonna, I’m gonna make something, I’m gonna make something of this and I’m gonna… Um…” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 23:20, 3rd Aug)

“This is- I mean, I’ve gotta, I’ve gotta- You know, I was gonna say this is hard, but obviously it’s hard, I mean I’ve… It’s… It’s difficult. It’s difficult, man.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 25:20, 3rd Aug)

“But, you know, it’s, it’s gonna get better, it’s gonna get better and it’s gonna be worth it when I see them smiling, all of them. Tubbo, Jack, Niki, Tommy. Anyone!” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 25:32, 3rd Aug)

-He doesn’t want to be like Dream really, he just wants his punishment to be visible (and considers him his hero for taking him out of the horrid experience that was limbo coupled with him missing huge chunks of information about what went down when he was dead)

“My hero! My fucking hero, Dream, saved me from that hell!” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 58:00, 29th Apr)

“I had no control of what was happening, I have no idea what was being said. But, Tommy, I’ll tell you what, if I was there, and if it wasn’t that stupid shell of a ghost instead of me, I would have struck down Dream right where he stood. We would have disembowelled him, we would have disembowelled him together. Together.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 20:42, 5th May)

“Tommy, I’m not, I’m not- I wasn’t blind, I saw what he was doing to you, Tommy. I saw. I saw what he was doing to Tubbo. I saw what he did to me.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 21:08, 5th May)

“Dream was the only that held my seat for me. He kept it warm, he kept my throne warm, and you guys didn’t like that, so you threw him in prison. And if Dream died instead of me, I would be in there right now.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 22:07, 5th May)

“So, Tommy, you should thank that I wasn’t alive to attack Dream when we got exiled. You should glad we had little passive Ghostbur, because now Dream’s in there, and I’m out here, baby. And I wanna stretch my legs, let’s go for a walk.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 22:19, 5th May)

“Because, because, if you hadn’t done that, I would have ended up living in the- I would have been exiled with TommyInnit, and then I would have gotten angry at Dream 'cause Dream can’t go around hurting Tommy like that. I would have gotten angry at Dream and I would have tried to fight Dream. Which I now see would have been a silly move because Dream’s my hero, Dream’s amazing! So like, I would have ended up fighting Dream, and then, I would have been the one in prison and not Dream.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 48:52, 5th May)

“Well, yes, but I wouldn’t have stood for Dream’s shit. Whilst Tubbo did stand for it, you know, but that’s fair enough, I don’t hold it against him.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 49:27, 5th May)

“Imagine if Dream said sorry to Jack Manifold, what’s Dream done to Jack Manifold, huh? Barely anything.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 37:42, 25th July)

“I imagine if Dream said sorry to Jack Manifold, Jack Manifold would ignore him. Do you know why? Because Dream’s in prison and I’m not!” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 37:57, 25th July)

“Dream is- He’s had his comeuppance, and I have not! My comeuppance was apparently not good enough for this people. They’re just waiting, they’re waiting for the next thing for me to slip up on, and, Ranboo, I’m not gonna fucking slip up, Ranboo. I’m different.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 38:07, 25th July)

“I’m not Dream. God I wish I was! Sometimes, I wish, I wish I’d gotten that comeuppance, but, Ranboo, I’m not Dream, and I’m not gonna be Dream.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 38:22, 25th July)

-He believes he doesn’t have inherent worth as a human, thus he has to serve a role in some big plan or win people over to stay with him

“Tubbo, I don’t know if you are just preferring his rule over mine, and I- I feel like I’ve got to win you over.” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 1:22:15, 23rd Sep)

“Dream, let me be your vassal. Dream, I understand you have a lot of TNT, a lot of the ol’ trinitrotoluene in your possession, don’t you? You do! Dream, I want to be your vassal, I want to set this up, I want to rig the city.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:33:27, 8th Oct)

“I sort of made a deal with Dream. Look, I made a deal with Dream. I’m fighting on your side, I’ll fight for the side of L’Manberg. But the minute you guys start losing, I’m detonating that entire thing. I’m blowing the entire place up. And Dream said that’s fine, Dream said that’s allowed. So that’s what I’m doing.” - (Wilbur’s The Meeting: 58:44, 6th Nov)

You stick with me, man, just stick with me, just stick with the winning side. Stick with the side who stands for something, stick with the side who believes in something. And we’ll, we’ll find it out.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 42:57, 5th May)

“Tommy’s only known me for a few hours now. I mean I disappeared after coming back to life, 'cause- I’ve made some plans, I’ve made some plans. Which, don’t worry, you’ll be hearing about them first, Phil. I’m getting you in, I’m getting you in on the ground floor, right. And you Tommy, and you Tommy, of course. But like, you’ve gotta understand- They’re not ready yet, the plans aren’t ready yet.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 52:59, 5th May)

“Tommy, I’m impressed, man. I, honestly- Can I be honest with you, Tommy? I, um. Look, I’ve gotta be honest with you, man, like, like, Wilbur he makes some mistakes sometimes, Tommy. He makes mistakes. And I, I may have forgotten asking you to get the stone.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 9:28, 31st May)

“If I, I, I, I, if I’d known that there was gonna be a place that I could align myself to as quickly as this, I would have done it sooner.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 23:44, 31st May)

“So that’s the invitation to work alongside you, I assume. I, I, I accept. I accept. I’d love to come in.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 24:00, 31st May)

“No, you’ve got it all wrong, you’ve got it all wrong, man. Like, like, okay, maybe, maybe I was unpredictable in the past, you know, but I’ve turned over a new leaf, Quackity. I don’t lie anymore, I don’t, you know, I don’t deceive, I don’t, I know nothing about TNT anymore. I’ve forgotten everything I knew about TNT, it’s ridiculous.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 24:45, 31st May)

“Quackity, I, I don’t know what you mean about my unpredictability, man. But like, listen to me, look at me, look at me. I am, I am your, I am your servant, Quackity. Look, Quackity, look me at me, look me in the eyes, look me in the eyes, I am your servant. I am at your service. I have run countries, I have, I’ve won elections, I’ve done everything that you will need in a leadership role, Quackity. Even not in leadership, I can be, I can be, you know, assistant to the President. Just, I- This is- Quackity, this is everything I dreamt of, a solid marble and quartz…” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 25:24, 31st May)

“Quackity, you’re making a mistake, man. You should- You need to let me in, you need to let me be a part of this.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 26:03, 31st May)

“Quackity, Quackity, I’m, Quackity, listen, I need this.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 26:17, 31st May)

“Listen, Tommy, I heard what he was saying to you, man, and you don’t seriously believe that, do you? Like, like, man, Tommy, you… I’ll be honest with you, can I be honest with you for a second? I, I think you going with Quackity, you’ll have a job. You’ll have a job, right, you’ll be fine, you’ll, you know, you’ll be set for life. You’ll be a caterer.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 38:56, 31st May)

“Look, Tommy, look at me, I’m, I’m not gonna stop you man, but… you’re… I’ll be honest with you, you’re all I’ve got.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 39:39, 31st May)

“Oh, Jack Manifold’s fine, but he wouldn’t do this, he’s too busy with his hotel business and stuff, and uh- And you’ve got Philza. Philza is on the wrong end of a bad stick, as you could say. He’s taken up some ideas about authoritarianism that I just don’t agree with.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 39:48, 31st May)

“Well, I just wanted to say, I wanted to say… Tommy, I don’t want to make a country. I’m past that, man. I wanna make a HQ. I wanna make a place where we can be safe for once. Tommy, it’s been so long since we’ve felt safe. And man, you deserve it. You’ve been through so much, you’ve done so much. Tommy, you’ve changed the world. And all you have to show for it is some scars and some trauma. Tommy, you deserve this safety and this sanctuary, and that’s what I wanna make with you, and you won’t get it over there. You won’t get it over there.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 40:14, 31st May)

“You know what they say about casinos? It’s all lights, it’s all plastic, it’s all glitter, but there’s nothing of substance. You know what has substance, Tommy? Family. Blood. Please stay with me, Tommy. Stay on this side. Don’t go to him and his cushy catering job. It’s gonna be hard over here, man! You’re gonna have to do some stuff that isn’t fun, but it’s, it’s rewarding. Hedonism doesn’t get you everywhere, man.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 40:49, 31st May)

-The whole not having a grave thing really hit him even if he played it off

Ghostbur talks about him not having a grave:

“You’re the best president L’Manburg’s ever had” (Ghostbur)

“Really? You think so? I’m-” (Tubbo)

“Oh, for sure! For sure!” (Ghostbur)

“Are you sure you were not better the first term? Before I… came in” (Tubbo)

“Look Tubbo, I- I don’t know what I did, but it was enough that I don’t even deserve a-” (Ghostbut)

“Do you not even remember the first term, Wilbur? Your second term was where it kinda backed” (Tubbo)

“I remember- I remember my- I remember my- my first term, but I’m just saying- (coughs)” (Ghostbur)

“But you brought freedom to the nation” (Tubbo)

“I- I had a second term?” (Ghostbur)

“Oh…oh, yeah… I guess you don’t remember the second term” (Tubbo)

“(coughs) Tubbo, I- I-“ (Ghostbur)

“Wilbur, Wilbur, do you need some blue? Do you need some blue, Wilbur?” (Tubbo)

“No, it’s cool, I’ve got loads of blue. I say- I’m just saying Tubbo, look… At the end of the day, it’s- I… I don’t- I feel like I was a good president, but I-I wa- Tubbo, I wasn’t… I-I wasn’t good enough to deserve a gravestone… A-and everyone hated me” (Ghostbur)

-(Tubbo’s The Next Steps: 30:14, 7th Dec)

Then revived Wilbur concealing his feelings about it while sprinkling some self-hatred in there (and admitting that he was bothered about in in the 3rd of August stream):

“I know this may be a bit ominous, Tommy, and I’m sorry if it’s a little bit morbid, could- Look, I’m just saying, Tommy, could I, could I see my grave? Tommy, could I see my grave?” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 10:10, 5th May)

“Look, I know it’s a bit macabre, but I, I, I would like to see. You know, I wanna see- I wanna see what- You know there’s that kinda morbid fascination of what would people say about you when you’re dead, you know? You ever heard that?” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 10:33, 5th May)

“That’s fucking sick, that’s so sick, man. You’re saying my grave is the city? They made the city my grave that’s badass, dude. … You just said it was this. … Well, I mean, yeah, I didn’t want a grave. I was hoping I’d go there and it was just be full of requiems and obituaries of horrible I was, and how much I was hated.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 10:51, 5th May)

“Fuck a grave. I was so pressed about not having a grave. Screw a grave. I built something that you… that you love, that you wanted to preserve, that’s- Tubbo, that’s worth more to me than a grave, that’s worth more to me than this shrine, that’s worth more-” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 19:09, 3rd Aug)

-He’s desperate for companionship, for someone to stick by him, he wants a friend

“We’re leaving it behind, Tommy. It’s in the past. We’re friends now, we’re friends. We’re friends.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 27:38, 5th May)

“You’re following me for quite a while for someone who doesn’t care.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 27:49, 5th May)

You stick with me, man, just stick with me, just stick with the winning side. Stick with the side who stands for something, stick with the side who believes in something. And we’ll, we’ll find it out.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 42:57, 5th May)

“I’m ready for this new chapter, this new page. Do you trust me? Do you believe that I’m about to turn over a new leaf, Tommy? … You believe I’m about to turn over a new leaf, even if that does involve changing a few things.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 55:01, 5th May)

“Quackity, I wanna say, I wanna say to you, like, like from here on, as much as we may have our disagreements here, man, I- We’ve gotta leave Tommy outta this. Like, Tommy, I- I’m sorry if we came off a bit strong.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 50:09, 31st May)

“No, no, no, no, look, look, okay. As we’re putting it behind us, Tommy, I’m- Tommy, I take back what I- I’m fine with you working here, and still being, you know. As long as you still hang out with me and don’t leave me on my own, I have no problem with you working here, man. … That’s what I’m saying, don’t feel pressured, it’s cool.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 51:50, 31st May)

[Mouthing: ‘Stay, stay, stay’] “Tommy, you can, you can join, I don’t mind, I’m totally cool with you joining here and being apart of the…” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 1:02:31, 31st May)

“Tubbo, what the fuck…! Fuck! Tubbo, why are you- Why? Why did you- Why did you get employed at the- restaurant?” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 20:10, 4th Aug)

“Tubbo, are you- You’re aware that you’re- that we’re in competition now, right? We’re, we’re- Tubbo, we’ve always been on the same side, man! We’ve always been together, you’re- head to head with me now though.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 22:20, 4th Aug)

“I’m not- Does it look like I’m taking it the wrong way? I’m perfectly- I’m happy. I’m really happy. I’m happy for Tubbo. I’m happy Tubbo’s got a j- Yes! I’m happy Tubbo’s got a job, man. Tubbo, you were telling me yesterday how you felt like you lacked direction, you lacked purpose.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 23:45, 4th Aug)

“Bro, how could I be angry about that, man?” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 24:01, 4th Aug)

“But I get it, I get it, you know, Quackity… He’s a, he’s a hard man to refuse.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 24:09, 4th Aug)

His friendship with Ranboo evolving to a point where he’s vulnerable with him for real and feels he can trust him with what he’s really feeling because Ranboo feels reliable to him (something really rare from Wilbur, refer back to the paranoia part of this):

“Okay, I know we haven’t really got off on- we haven’t got off on the best of terms from the first time we met, I know we had that argument, but uh. I like, you know, I like to think, you know, let bygones be bygones, let’s bury the hatchet. Let’s be- Ranboo, I’m gonna go out on a whim here. Do, do you wanna be friends?” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 18:07, 25th July)

“And, man, Ranboo, hearing you say those words that you said to me. Do you remember what you said? You said, 'I think people can change’, that was number one. And number two, you said you’re scared if people don’t like you.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 38:45, 25th July)

“I’ve been investing into the wrong areas, Ranboo. I’ve been investing into the wrong, wrong people. We’re kindred, man. We get each other.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 39:13, 25th July)

“Ranboo, I want to say thank you, man, for, you know, for trusting me this quick. I mean you’ve barely, you’ve barely known me like, you know, very long, and you’ve instantly just, you know. You’ve done all this with me and you’ve worked with me, and I- You know, I don’t, I don’t know where I’d be without you here right now, man” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 28:20, 3rd Aug)

“But like I was saying, though, Ranboo, I, I really appreciate it, man. I- Thank you for trusting me.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 29:11, 3rd Aug)

“Nine to five? Dude, I don’t make you work nine to five. You just have to work when we run out of burgers, man. You’re free to do what you want. You’re working part-time for Wilburger, man.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 5:18, 4th Aug)

“Yeah. I think, hm. Ranboo, I think, I think you’ve, you’ve kind of taken a side here it feels like which is- Which feels like a change for you, I mean, I’m not used to this from you. I mean, you’re Mr Not Choosing A Side, you know?” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 7:39, 4th Aug)

“No, but, no, but, you don’t need to have an impact on the world, Ranboo, to matter, you know? You don’t need to build a fucking Eiffel Tower just to be, you know. Just to mean something, you know?” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 8:47, 4th Aug)

“Ranboo, Ranboo, don’t get me wrong, you’re talking to me here. I think it’s cool that you’re, that you’re, you know, going out and doing stuff.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 9:03, 4th Aug)

“I think it’s very cool that you’ve decided to go out and, and change how, you know, change this for the better. I think it’s for the better.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 9:14, 4th Aug)

“Yeah, and, man, honestly? I’m proud of you, bro. I know I don’t know you very well, I haven’t known you for very long, but, you know, I think you’ve done a really good job here.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 9:50, 4th Aug)

“Ohh, Ran… I feel you, I feel you, Ranboo, about the… compet- It’s scary, it’s scary, man. Especially when, you know, we got a long way to go, we got a lot of bridges to cross, and, and maybe one day we’ll be ready to like, you know, grab it all by the horns and ride it, you know?” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 27:38, 4th Aug)

“But right now it’s- it’s just- It’s just you and me against the world. The world being Tubbo and Quackity.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 27:55, 4th Aug)

“That’s cool. Because, because at the end of the day we’re- Going right now we’re, we’re the good guys, Ranboo. We’re, we’re the good guys here, you know?” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 31:08, 4th Aug)

“Yeah. I mean, we haven’t done anything wrong, you know? We’re the good guys, and, and Quackity, Quackity’s done a few things wrong.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 31:08, 4th Aug)

Have some of his passive aggressive attempts at friendship-rivalry with Quackity (They’re kids annoying each other and I adore that):

“So he didn’t like it? He didn’t like you setting up the cookie stand?” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 21:33, 25th July)

“Okay. Okay. No, no, no, that’s good. That’s fine, that’s fine, you know? Because we’re, Ranboo, we’re not gonna annoy Quackity. We can’t annoy him, we can’t annoy him.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 21:44, 25th July)

“And the difference is that we’ll make our grill better than theirs. And then we’ll make lots of money, and Quackity will be left to, you know, maybe have to make a deal with us, maybe have to be, maybe have to be our friend.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 22:59, 25th July)

“Ranboo, how do you feel about thievery? … I’m going to steal Las Nevadas’s cows to cook into our burgers. And I’m not going to rebreed them. I am going to simply kill them.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 41:52, 25th July)

“Are you gonna steal all of them?” (Ranboo)

“Nah. Just enough that it’s annoying, you know?” (Alivebur)

- (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 42:14, 25th July)

“I gave him back all the materials, 'cause, I gave him all the materials for the wall, and I also, I also, uh, left him a diamond or two. Just to say like, you know, no hard feelings, you know, it was just for, just you know, just to, you know, prove a point.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 10:18, 4th Aug)

“Basically, Quackity’s here, and I just wanna, I just wanna see how he feels.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 10:32, 4th Aug)

“Normally when I come to the Las Nevadas sign, 'cause I’m not allowed in Las Nevadas, normally when I come to the Las Nevadas sign, Quackity is the first one to come and tell me to fuck off.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 10:43, 4th Aug)

“Yeah, man, it’s- Half of the fun of making something and doing cool things is that moment where everyone, you know, where you get to see what everyone feels about it.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 10:55, 4th Aug)

“Wait here, look, I promise you, just you wait. Just you wait. Ready? Ready? Are you ready? Are- Are you- Are you ready? Um… Uh…” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 11:06, 4th Aug)

“This guy. Ranboo, I swear to god, like I, I feel like I understand him, I feel like I know how his brain works, you know, how his- how the- how the cogs in his mind go. And then he just, and then he just goes and proves that he doesn’t give a shit.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 12:56, 4th Aug)

“Which is why I can’t wait to show off what I’ve done, to him. But, he’s just nowhere to be seen.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 13:12, 4th Aug)

“Oh, okay, you’re talking about- OHHHHH, look who’s here! Quackity! It’s lovely to see you, man, it’s been a while. How have you been?” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 14:22, 4th Aug)

“Uh, I’ve just arrived, you know, I just arri- I, I haven’t been long for you. I, I wouldn’t- Quackity, you think, you think I’d wait for you?” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 14:35, 4th Aug)

“Yeah, it’s, it’s good to see you too, man.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 14:53, 4th Aug)

“Hey, man, you know, every- every, you know. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Small steps and that, you can’t-” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 16:17, 4th Aug)

“Dododododooo, that was a good joke, Quackity, you’re funny. Dododo, you’re very nice to me and you never bring up my past. Dododo.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 16:45, 4th Aug)

“Sorry if you noticed a little bit, you know, a little bit of superficial damage. I left you a little gift, as well, afterwards, I’m sure that’s okay. That was Ranboo and me, uh, did that, actually, to your restaurant. Ranboo and I.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 18:05, 4th Aug)

“Well, we’ve gotta go, we’ve gotta go. It was lovely, it was absolutely lovely hanging out with you. I, I am just thrilled that you liked the renovations.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 25:30, 4th Aug)

“Wait- Wait, I’m allowed in Las Nevadas?” (Alivebur)

“Wilbur, you’re not- You’re taking this the wrong way, man.” (Quackity)

“You told me I couldn’t come in and now-”

- (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 25:56, 4th Aug)

“You’re a good man. You’re a good man, Quackity. I’ll, I’ll give you that.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 26:29, 4th Aug)

“Ohh boy! Ha ha ha ha, ha! Oh, this is good, this is- this is exactly what I want. Did you see how- Dude, dude, Ranboo, he was trying act like I didn’t get to him.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 26:47, 4th Aug)

“He cares so much, he cares so much.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 27:06, 4th Aug)

“I feel alive, Ranboo, I feel alive. Someone’s looking at me and talking to me! I’m alive, I’m alive! This is great.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 27:22, 4th Aug)

-He doesn’t love TNT. He self-harms with it

“Tommy, I don’t need armour. You don’t seem to understand…!” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 11:24, 16th Oct)

“I am concerned. I’m being very careful, Tommy.” (Alivebur)

“Yeah but you’re not wearing any armour, or you don’t have any defences on you.” (Tommy)

“Well for what?” (Alivebur)

- (Wilbur’s The Festival: 14:23, 16th Oct)

“I’m not crouching there’s no point! We’ll all be dead soon, it doesn’t matter!” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 24:16, 17th Oct)

He’s let TNT explode on him and take away half his hearts when blowing up the corner of Quackity’s restaurant in “Healthy competition” (around 55:50)

He also self-harms by letting creepers blow up next to him, saying he doesn’t fear death even when he’s expressed to not want to go back to limbo and that he’s incredibly happy about being alive again:

“Tommy, listen to me, man. I don’t fear death, I don’t fear death, Tommy.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 57:23, 5th May) (In this scene he let a creeper explode next to him)

Even Ghostbur showed some explosion trauma:

[Sees TNT placed] “Oh, no.” [Hears explosion] “Uhh… Guys I- I think I should go, I think I should go. … Yeah, I’m not too sure about all this.” - (Tubbo’s Exploding Stuff w/ Tommy: 48:38, 22nd Apr)

“I don’t know, I just don’t- I don’t like the sound of those fireworks. … I don’t- I really, really don’t like the sound of the fireworks.” - (Tubbo’s Exploding Stuff w/ Tommy: 49:00, 22nd Apr)

“Okay, Tommy, I’ll go to Pogtopia. I just don’t wanna be- I don’t wanna be there. Thank you. Thank you for understanding. I’m sorry, I’ll help you- I’ll get you more sand. Bye bye!” - (Tubbo’s Exploding Stuff w/ Tommy: 49:23, 22nd Apr)

-He’s as much of a person as everybody else on the SMP. Think about that

[angelofbloodlust]

Bunny (Billy Loomis x Reader)

A/N: Long time, no see, y’all 😳 sorry for my disappearance, I’ve been going through quite a lot but I’m happy to be back! I apologize if this story isn’t the best, it’s been a long time since I’ve written something like this and I’m still trying to get back in my groove- but if this ends up being well-received I’d be happy to try writing a part 2! <3 hope u guys enjoy!!

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Your eyes scan over the backyard of the tan house sat in front of you once more, zoning in heavily on the blackened windows as your boots take hesitant steps forward towards the home of your fellow peer that you’ve been watching for weeks now. Shallow breaths escape you as your chest begins to pound, a flurry of both panicked and thrilled emotions swarming your stomach as your hand tightens on the butcher knife in your hold.

You were finally about to experience your first kill, after taking so many precautions and endless planning. You figured now would be the perfect time with the other murders that has had Woodsboro in chaos, the police department has already got themselves absorbed in solving the murders of Casey and Steve, if you manage to get through this unscathed you could easily let the other nutjob take the blame and get to work on your next plan.

But, that’s easier said than done.

You suck in a breath through your nostrils as you cautiously approach the cracked window ahead of you, the one you’ve witnessed be pushed open by the student’s mother each night before bed, just like clockwork. Though of course, you ensured that neither of her parents would be home that night, and you were glad they were dumb enough to trust their daughter enough to be able to defend herself with a psychopath on the loose.

Your teeth remain clenched as you slowly lift yourself up and climb through the window after pushing it open, being careful to not let your costume get caught and allowing your jaw to relax once you step from the marble of the countertops down to the wooden plank flooring below. Anxiousness to get upstairs and cut the girl’s head off stabs at you as your eyes find the stairs from your view out of the kitchen, though you force yourself to keep your pace as you take light steps on your path towards your goal, and feel relief at the fact none of the floorboards have creaked so far. Annoyance swiftly follows after as you notice the stairs aren’t carpeted, internally grumbling a couple curses while readying yourself to have to take your backup plan in case you accidentally make a noise and wake the girl up.

You make your way up slowly, begging in your mind for each step not to creak, and as you’ve made walked up all but 2 steps, you can’t help but feel a smug grin curl over your lips underneath your mask as you relish in the fact that everything’s gone so smoothly.

And immediately you regret that thought, once you and the short brunette standing in front of the bathroom door both freeze up in shock from the sight of the other.

“Shit, you’re not supposed to be awake!” You groan out, scowling at yourself once you process that you accidentally said that out loud.

Your body tenses as your words seem to have triggered the girl out of her state of shock, a blood-curling wail slipping from her lips at the sight of the knife in your hand before she runs to attempt scampering back into her bedroom to hide from you, sobs and screams pouring from her as you growl under your breath while bolting up the last couple steps and over the carpet towards her.

“Stop yelling!” You whine in panic from her loudness, before narrowing your eyes at your sudden idiocy with the situation. Why the fuck would she listen to you?!

A frustrated huff leaves you as she manages to slam the door on you, leaving you to violently push and slam on the now locked door while spilling out any indecent word your brain can think of in the moment. How could this have gone any worse? Your plan was all for nothing now!

Anxiety twirls in your gut as you look between the door and the stairs, having to make a quick decision as you’re sure the cops have been called by now and won’t take long to arrive. You exhale out, before making the final call to abandon the plan and speed back down the stairs, hopping over anything in your way as you head into the kitchen and back out the window.

Brief relief hits you as the soles of your shoes meet the grass again, taking a swift glance behind you while running for the patch of woods ahead of you. Your exhale out is interrupted as you suddenly collide into something, which you thought was a tree for a split second until the object ahead of you slips out a grunt once they stumble back slightly.

You look back forward in surprise, shock waving you as your vision is taken up by the same white and black mask morphed into a scream that you previously slipped on after making the discovery the other killer had worn it. A squeak leaves your lips as the man in front of you takes a rough grip on your upper arms, shifting around to face your towards the woods and push you forward as he gives a huff out.

“Go, I’m not gonna let you get us caught.” He hisses out, balling the back of your costume into his fist to ensure you keep moving as he leads you further way from the house while you struggle to wrap your head around what’s happening.

“H-How did you know I was-”

“We were in the area prepping, and we could hear that bitch’s scream from a mile away.” He huffs in response.

“Oh..” You mumble, embarrassment now filling your cheeks as he continues to guide you like you’re a disobedient child, wanting to pull from his grip but feeling unsure of how he might react. “...Did you say we?” You question suddenly as you shift your head to look back to him.

“Yes. No more questions, I think I have a right to be the one questioning you instead. Who the fuck are you?” He asks in a strict tone, and despite his mask covering his expression, you could somehow feel the rage radiating off of him at your presence.

You narrow your hidden eyes, “Why would I tell you that?? I don’t even know who you are!”

“I said no more questions.”

“I think it’s a pretty reasonable one if you’re gonna only ask questions I don’t wanna answer!”

“Fine, if that’s how you want to be then we can both remain anonymous. How about this, instead?” He hums, “Did you even kill her? I don’t see any blood on you.”

“..No.. She locked the door on me before I could grab her, I wanted to kill her in her sleep but she was awake once I got inside.” You admit in a sheepish mumble.

He scoffs, “A door stopped you?” You scowl as he chuckles in amusement at your actions. “I suppose that’s reasonable, you are pretty small. Wouldn’t expect you to be able to be able to break it down.” He teases, causing you to grumble out as you wiggle from his grip and turn to face him.

“Hey, it was my first time, and I was panicking! Take it easy on me.” You demand with a pout.

He crosses his arms as he looks down to you, “Tsk, you tried to do it all on your own? No wonder you failed.”

“I spent months planning it, I thought I would’ve done well..” Your voice cracks through your sentence, leaving you to attempt sighing away your urge to cry while you turn back to keep walking, your eyes sticking down to watch your steps while the man with you gives an exhale as he follows at your side.

“Alright, alright, I’ll quit being so harsh. But it takes someone naturally skilled to be able to do it on their own, you know? You think you have everything you need, but even the littlest thing that doesn’t go to plan can fuck it all up. Maybe for you, you just need a bit of teaching to make sure you’re ready for anything.” He shrugs.

“Are you.. offering to help me?” You question gently through the mix of shock and confusion in your chest as to why this stranger is willing to take you under his wing, tilting your head slightly up to him.

“Maybe. But you need to prove that you’re serious about this.”

You begin to question him on how you can prove it, before stopping at the beginning of your sentence once the two of you cross through the patch of woods and up to a parked car on the lone street in front of you. An unsure sensation fills your gut as he makes you stay back while he walks over to the driver’s side window, and you begin to question to yourself if this might really be a safe decision to go with the psychopaths that you were about to frame.. But at the same time, this might be your real chance to be able to finally learn the proper ways of murder.

Soon enough, he walks back over to you and gestures to your mask. “To go any further with this, I need to see your face if you’re going to see ours. It’s only fair.” He requests you in a calm tone, and you hesitate as you frown as you pick up sudden worried thoughts. What if he just wanted to be able to rat you out and let you take blame for everything?

“Hey, you know you haven’t really proved your loyalty to me, either.. What if-”

You freeze as his hand reaches up for his own mask, watching him pull it off to reveal his cold, yet neutral expression as the guy you recognize to be Billy Loomis from your school stands in front of you. Your face reddens at the sight, you know him enough about him to have a thorough crush on him, though you suppose you didn’t know him quite enough to have realized that part of the reason you had been so drawn to him was the fact you were more alike than you had known.

“I’m risking everything for this. Do you know how much this could fuck up everything with us letting you in?” He sighs, and you watch as his lips form in a displeased pout. “The last thing I want is you getting caught doing this dumb shit, and if you’re going to steal our costume you at least need to not act like a moron while you’re in it.” He huffs with narrowed eyes.

“God- fuck, whatever. If you guys end up killing me, I have nothing to lose.” You grumble as you pull off your mask, holding your own pout while he takes up a smirk while looking you over.

“Just as cute as I expected you to be, bunny.” He purrs out in a playful tone, which causes you to give him a questioning expression through your heated cheeks at the nickname.

“Bunny?”

“You’re small, cute and quick. Like a bunny.” He grins.

“I will actually deck you if you call me that again.” You hiss out while he starts to lead you towards the car.

“No, you won’t. I could tell you liked it.” He chimes in a proud tone, laughing out once you reach to smack his arm with your face on fire.

“Shut your mouth, Loomis! You’re so annoying!” You whine as your voice pitches up with your embarrassment.

“Get your ass in the car, Y/N.” He snorts out as he nudges you towards the backseat.

“..You know my name?”

“You’re in my Physics class. I recognize you.” He chuckles gently, flashing you a brief smile before slipping into the passenger’s seat.

“Oh.” You hum, feeling content as you feel joy at the fact that he recognizes you, holding your own smile as you get into the back of the car before pausing once Stu Macher shoots you a grin from the driver’s seat.

“Hey, Y/N! Billy says you wanna join us, that true?” He asks through his classic happy tone, starting up the car while you manage to get yourself to nod as you confirm to yourself that the man you had only ever expected to be the class clown to be Billy’s partner in crime, though you weren’t entirely sure why you were caught off guard with the insane amount of loyalty Stu’s always shown to Billy over the years you’ve watched them be friends.

“Yeah.. Uh, sorry, I wasn’t expecting to see you. Didn’t think you were this kinda guy.” You snicker.

He gives an unbothered shrug, “Well, people always have their secrets, don’t they?” He chuckles, causing you to quirk an eyebrow once he flashes a grin over to Billy and laughing out once he smacks his shoulder in a manner to tell him to shut up. Stu smiles back at you again through the rear-view mirror, “It’s nice to have ya join us, though. I’m sure it’ll be real fun for the three of us.” He purrs, and you can’t help but get an unsettling feeling from the tinge of malice in his smirk, which you couldn’t tell if it was meant to be towards you.

You could only hope not.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Instead of freeing Nie Huaisang after the indoctrination camp Wen Chao keeps him and forces him to act as entertainment in an effort to humiliate the Nie's. Jokes on him though, as Nie Huaisang uses his new position to send coded messages.

In Here, With Me - ao3 (chapter 1/2)

- Untamed verse -

Left behind in the indoctrination camp when all the other sect heirs escaped, Nie Huaisang found himself in Wen Chao’s clutches, left to his amusement – and his amusement was to force Nie Huaisang to serve at his entertainment.

Are you telling me you’re a clown?!

“Rude, da-ge,” Nie Huaisang huffed, rolling his eyes at his brother’s note. “Very rude. I’m an entertainer.”

Although a rather large portion of his brand new entertain-the-troops routine was being laughed at, yes…

Damnit, da-ge! Leave a man some self-respect!

Sadly, there wasn’t enough space for him to get that sentence in along with the rest of the information he was sending back home, battle plans and supply lines and the rest. Just enough for a single additional sentence –

Sometimes the most dangerous place is the safest.

A little later, he got his brother’s response: Stop making sense. I hate it when you do that.

Nie Huaisang smiled.

-

“Can you stop shoving me around?” Nie Huaisang complained to Wen Chao after the first day of being the Wen sect’s punching bag. “You want me to entertain people, I can be entertaining! In ways other than slapstick!”

“Oh yeah?” Wen Chao sneered. “Like what?”

“I can tell stories,” Nie Huaisang said promptly. “I can paint. I compose poetry on the spot, including lewd poetry. I can do astronomy readings and calculate fortunes. I can juggle my saber. I can –”

“You can not.”

“Which one?”

“Juggle a saber!”

Nie Huaisang crossed his arms. “I can too! Or, well, da-ge always says that’s what I’m doing when I’m trying to train…”

Wen Chao sniggered. “Oh, this I’ve got to see. Someone get him a sword!”

“I can’t use a sword!” Nie Huaisang exclaimed. “Saber, saber! One side sharp only! If I tried it with a two-sided blade, I’d cut my arm off and then where would you be, huh? Without any entertainment, and no hostage, either!”

Wen Chao rolled his eyes. “Saber, then.”

Everyone looked at each other uncertainly – the saber wasn’t a common weapon for Qishan Wen.

“Just get me mine,” Nie Huaisang suggested. “What, are you all afraid I’ll fight my way out if I have my own spiritual weapon with me? Me?”

They were not afraid of him.

Nie Huaisang gripped his proper Nie saber that was warm under his fingers, with the clean blade that (currently) showed no sign of words, and smiled.

-

The Jiang sect won’t listen to my warnings.

Nie Huaisang gritted his teeth and stared at his saber. You’re joking, he wrote on the blade with his finger and a bit of qi. I warned you a whole week ago. We’re attacking tomorrow! With overwhelming forces!

I’m trying my best! I can only smuggle so many cultivators nearby without permission. What am I supposed to do, write off the whole place as a loss and just kidnap all their disciples to keep them from getting murdered?

Why not? If that’s all you can do, at least it’s something.

-

“The wine that’s going to the main table is on the bottom left,” Nie Huaisang said when he found Wen Ning standing there.

Wen Ning jumped. “Oh! Nie-gongzi…”

“You’re here to rescue Jiang Cheng, right? And you’re going to drug the wine? Bottom left.”

“…thanks.” Wen Ning hesitated. “Do you need a rescue, too?”

“Oh, no, I’m good. Tell Jiang Cheng that I’m sorry I couldn’t help more, and next time he should listen when my brother says to run away. He doesn’t say it often, so when he does, he means it.”

Wen Ning hesitated still.

“What?”

“Did you really break Wen Zhuliu’s hand before he could melt Jiang Cheng’s core?”

“It was,” Nie Huaisang said with great dignity, “an accident.”

-

“Listen, I get you,” Nie Huaisang said to a confused-looking Wei Wuxian. “Revenge is nice, rescue is sweet. But I need you to let Wen Chao get close enough to the Nightless City that me making my way there as the terrified last surviving witness is at least plausible, or we lose our best in to get info from the Wen sect. So just, you know, wait a bit longer, okay?”

-

“Meng Yao!” Nie Huaisang hollered, throwing himself into Meng Yao’s arms. “Oh, it’s so good to see you again!”

“Uh,” Meng Yao said.

Wen Ruohan laughed.

Nie Huaisang burst into tears and buried his face into Meng Yao’s neck.

Wen Ruohan laughed harder.

Meng Yao smiled awkwardly, but that was probably the fact that Nie Huaisang had already sealed his spiritual energy and had a knife to his belly.

“You’d better be here as a spy,” Nie Huaisang whispered in his ear as the Wen sect ignored them.

“Definitely,” Meng Yao murmured back, though his tone wasn’t as definitive as Nie Huaisang would prefer. “I need Wen Ruohan’s head to get my father’s approval.”

“Does my brother know?”

“…no.”

“Who does?”

“Huaisang –”

“I have my own ways of passing information. Well?”

“…Sect Leader Lan.”

“I look forward to finding out if he confirms it,” Nie Huaisang said, patting Meng Yao on the cheek, and then blubberingly begs his way into sharing a room with the man. He’s gotten pretty good at getting Wen Ruohan to agree to these sorts of silly requests – the man had just the same awful sense of humor as his son.

-

“I can’t believe you survived this long as the Nie sect’s spy,” Meng Yao marveled when it was all done.

Nie Huaisang shrugged. “I’ll give you lessons,” he offered with a grin. “If you like. It’s my one skill, apparently!”

“The war is over,” Meng Yao pointed out in return, shaking his head and smiling. “My father has accepted me back into the Jin sect and given me a new name. What use do I have for the skills of spy?”

“Of being a Nie sect spy,” Nie Huaisang corrected, and put his hand on Meng Yao’s shoulder. “If things don’t go well for you in the Jin sect…Think about it, will you? If da-ge won’t accept you, then I will.”

[achilios]

out of context quotes that are (a) hilarious (b) ominous (c) both at once (from survival is a talent by @shanastoryteller )

(years 4-5, potential spoilers ahead?? maybe?? i’ll add an asterisk (*) to quotes that i think may be spoilers)

( * = possibly a spoiler ; ** = mild spoiler ; *** = kind of a big spoiler )

this was originally supposed to be for harry only, because his character in this fic is absolutely amazing and sarcastic and generally hilarious, but then the list somehow Grew, so!

harry:

"Millicent, thank merlin, has a trust fund and that’s it, and thinks the rest of them are insane[...]she’s a great barometer for when something’s a pureblood Slytherin thing, and for when their friends are just strange, but haven’t figured it out yet because they’re too busy being strange together."

"'I’ll meet you downstairs,' Harry says, then stands and jumps off the roof. George screams, but Harry’s laughing all the way down, casting a cushioning charm so he easily bounces back on his feet."

"'But it doesn’t bother me when I almost die,' Harry complains."

"I might as well cause a useful disaster."

* "Sometimes accidental necromancy just happens.”

"'Ritualistic cannibalism is my least preferred way to die,” Harry tells him companionably."

"Who cares if it’s a good idea? It’s a fun idea."

"She looks at Harry. “Can you walk, Mr. Potter?”“Sure,” he says, “absolutely, I’ve been walking for years.”"

"They all look at him like he’s crazy. Which isn’t a new experience, but is a little rude."

* "he’s planning to spend the summer collecting corpses so he has them on hand if needed."

+ bonus

Sirius saying Questionable Things, as always: "'I love that woman,' Sirius says, 'She’s so willing sell her morals away, I really admire that in a person.'"

Ron, who i’m kind of obsessed with(+ an appearance from Ginny): "'What are you planning, Ronald?' 'Nothing major. Just some public unrest, maybe a riot or two. A coup would be nice, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves,' he muses."

"'I flew a car into the Whomping Willow when I was twelve,' Ron says. 'How am I supposed to discipline students? As long as no one dies, it’s like, fine, right?'"

"“Hey!” Ron says, but he’s still grinning. “I think we make really logical and great choices for authority figures.” Harry twists to stare at him. “A third year got in a fight with a Hufflepuff, and you taught him how to throw a better punch.”"

Neville, who is awesome: "No election if we kill him."

"“Yippee,” Neville says morosely"

Hermione, who is somehow both chaotic good and lawful neutral at once: "'I won’t have to scold anyone for anything if they don’t get caught,' Hermione answers. 'Perhaps everyone should take this as an opportunity to brush up on their invisibility and silencing spells?'"

* "Hermione pulls out her wand. “It’s sad you’ll forget this moment. You’re a lot less pathetic when you grow a spine.”"

Draco, who I can’t even put into words how much I love in this fic: *** "Draco strides into Flitwick’s office and drops a ten foot scroll on his desk with a satisfying thwack. Flitwick looks up and raises an eyebrow. “That’s the complete arithmancy for the ghost summoning spell. Read it and weep, because I did.”"

"“Yeah, okay. I was personally planning to hex anyone who hit on you or stared at you too long, but I suppose your idea is a little more subtle.”"

"Murder suddenly sounds like a much more appealing option."

* "if it’s alive, we’ll come get you so we can – I don’t know, kill an millennia old creature in the middle of the night for the hell of it, I guess."

"“I have so much homework to do that I’ve considered taking up drinking to cope,”"

"Forget therapy. Draco needs a drink."

Quinn, because ze is amazing and I want to make potions explode with zir: "“My dad threw a fit when I accidentally melted the shed outside,” Quinn complains, “Like we all haven’t accidentally liquified a building or two.”"

** "Quinn leans forward, making sure to look him in the eye. “Tell me Harry. Have you ever wanted to lead an unofficial teenage militia? Because I think that would look great on your resume.”"

"“If you finish that sentence I’ll have to kill you, and that will really bum a lot of people out,”"

Seamus and Dean, who count as one person and are practically joined at the hip: "Seamus smacks his shoulder, “Ze has a boyfriend.” There’s a pause where they all stare at him, and then he goes, “Wait, and you have a boyfriend too! Me! No leering at Quinn.”"

Percy, who is entirely too relatable sometimes: "“I have to go,” he says, “and I don’t know, maybe develop a drinking problem or something.”"

This Scene:

I’m not even sure I understand what’s happening here, but I love it

This Scene As Well:

"Ron sighs and puts his arm around Harry’s shoulders. “Harry, murder is bad.”

“Most of the time,” Hermione says. Ron glares at her. “What? Sometimes a little murder can be helpful.”

He turns to Neville, beseeching, but he only shrugs. “Murder is bad almost all of the time.”"

Other Characters, who are equally amazing but admittedly less important to the story so far, so they don’t get individual sections: "“Angelina!” Katie scolds, even though she’s angry too. “Don’t admit to murder in front of so many witnesses.”"

" “I’ll keep watch. Have fun down there. I hope you die.”"

*** "“What is idiotic master needing from his lowly house elf, who is clearly so unimportant that he can not be telling her when he goes running off to do stupid things?” “Er,” he says, “look, Winky, it all happened really fast, and we were on a bit of time crunch-” “Ah, yes,” she says, “because it is taking so long to be summoning me, with a literal snap of your fingers.”"