#Yeap the all plan is prepared :)

[navstuffs]

SO

if your requests are open I BEG for carlos i just BEG

make the prompt maybe like a day out with him? and please make it fluff I consumed enough carlos smut for the day, and once again thanksies !!! 🩷🩷❗️

(i just read like one smut fanfic of him but go off me, ig)

author's notes: hii, anon! first of all, i would like to apologize for taking so long to write your request. i couldn't find a better way to do this, so this will be in headcanons form. i tried to make this as fluffy as i could, so i hope you enjoy!

How would Carlos take GN!Reader in a day out headcanons

Carlos is an affectionate and attentive boyfriend. So when he notices you have been having a couple of rough weeks, he plans a special day off for you.

Which obviously starts with breakfast in bed. He has whatever you like to eat in the mornings ready for you. Doesn't eat breakfast in the morning? NO PROBLEM. He knows that, of course, so he stays in bed until you wake up, holding you in his arms or just keeping you company.

He has a day planned, depending on what you like. (beach date, park date, city date)

(BEACH DATE)

If during summer, be ready for a beach date. Carlos is up for anything, but his favorite is the beach (i promise i am not trying to be cliche here). He wakes up early, prepares all you will need, like beach chairs, TONS of water ("Hydration always!"), sunblock!!!!! This man worries about your well-being (and is honestly excited to see you wearing swimwear).

Your favorite part of taking him to the beach is seeing Carlos take off his shirt (many glares go in his direction, and you are used to it now). How can you not be when your man is built like a freaking Greek god? (yeap, i highlighted your man because you can feel some sense of pride no one else is taking him home except you)

The activities will depend on what kind of person you are. If you are more active and like swimming or other sports, Carlos will be right by you. If you are the type to sit back and relax, no problem either: Carlos will sit by your side, his eyes secretly watching you sunbathe. 

If you like getting on the water and don't know how to swim, he will always watch you, letting you feel safe. If you know how to swim, you can always go to the deeper part of the sea and make out, where no one will see ;). If you don't like to get in the water, Carlos will still invite you no matter what, so you can at least get your toes wet; no pressure on accepting. When he returns from swimming, you have a full view of Carlos's wet body as he dries himself with a towel. As Carlos notices you staring, he winks at you, flooding your head with impure thoughts (sorry i had to)

He always buys ice cream/milkshake before you leave because, come on, what is a beach date without one in the end?

(ON THE PARK):

Now if you are more of a nature person, Carlos will reserve a day in your favorite park or one you have always wanted to visit. He knows how much you like to be surrounded by peace and quiet, so he also prepares to stay the whole day at the park.

It is nice to hike and observe all the different types of trees and animals you can see. Carlos would study the story of the place and some plants to throw out some scientific facts to impress you. If you decide to bring your bikes, you can bike around the trail slowly or do a speeding competition. Just want to sit down and do some meditation? Or even some yoga? Well, Carlos is up for that as well (CARLOS IN EXERCISE CLOTHES IS ALL IM SAYING)

As a surprise, I can see him booking one night stay at the park. Cabin or camping, whatever you like it. And you know what that means? STARGAZING!! Cuddling under a blanket if cold. Carlos hums for you to sleep under the beautiful starry night sky. 

(ON THE CITY):

Carlos also plans a day out in the city. If he knows there is a movie, you want to watch, cinema. A restaurant you have always wanted to go to? A FREAKING ESCAPE ROOM? Carlos is an expert in those, don't be surprised if you get the record for the fastest escape.

Or even if it is just to stay home the whole day enjoying each other's company. Carlos won't criticize you if you want to stay in pajamas. You can cuddle on the sofa, play video games, or even board games.

Carlos just wants to overall see you happy. He knows what matters is the quality time you can spend together. 

[wa-royal-tea]

Previous | Beginning | Next

(Transcript under the cut - Click Pics for HQ Version!)

@thebrixtons​​

Magnolia House, Holan (4:23pm)

Ginny: Hey, Anna.

Anna: Oh! Welcome, your highness.

Ginny: Is Lina around?

Anna: Yes, ma’am. Her royal highness is in the office. Would you like me to tell her you’re here?

Ginny: It’s okay. I already told her I’m coming. Can you show me where the office is?

Anna: Of course. please follow me.

Catalina (on the phone): I know! I’ve read the comments too! They thought our marriage was a sham because we didn’t pop out a baby immediately after the wedding.

Anna: *clears throat*

Catalina: I’ll call you back, Clem. Say hi to everyone for me.

Catalina: Yeah, good luck to you too. Take care~

Catalina: Hey~ You’re here!

Ginny: Did I come at the wrong time?

Catalina: Nope. If anything you’re earlier than expected.

Ginny: Sorry. I’m in a rush. Rainier and I have an appointment with the jeweller later. We’re going to redesign my ring.

Catalina: You’re redesigning your ring?

Ginny: Mhm. We’re adding a ruby diamond. It’s his family’s tradition.

Catalina: I see~ I can’t wait to see what it’ll look like.

Ginny: Where’s Alfie?

Catalina: He went out. Leon’s here so they’re meeting up outside.

Ginny: Oh...

Catalina: So, what is it that you want to talk about?

Ginny: It’s nothing serious. I was just wondering if you want to be my bridesmaid at my wedding.

Catalina: Wait, really? You want me to be your bridesmaid?

Ginny: Uhuh. If you want to, though!

Catalina: Oh Ginny…I’d be honoured. Thank you for thinking of me.

Ginny: Of course I think of you! We’re family after all.

Catalina: Will Dira join me too?

Ginny: Yeap. I’m planning to ask her for help with handling the wedding planning here. I have to go back to Monaca because of work and I need someone to help handle the preparations here. I’ll help too of course, but I have to do it remotely.

Catalina: Well, if you want, I can help too.

Ginny: I don’t want to trouble you. You’re already busy with your work and your plans with Alfie.

Catalina: I don’t mind. Really. You said it yourself, it’s not a big wedding, so it’s not going to be that hard.

Ginny: Are you sure?

Catalina: Yes, I am.

Ginny: Hmm, if you insist. I’ll ask for my mum’s help too so there’s more people working on this. I really don’t want to cause trouble for anyone.

Catalina: Don’t be silly. We’re all happy to help you. This is our first wedding in years!

Ginny: *laughs* I guess.

Ginny: Thank you, Lina. I really appreciate this.

Catalina: Not a problem.

[sifasdt]

SIFAS Daily Theatre Classic: 2021-11-17

(Transcription after the break.)

[Image transcription:]

SIFAS Daily Theatre for 2021-11-17

Spicy and Stimulating!

Setsuna: You-san, You-san, I actually have a secret plan for the Youkisoba we're making today....

You: A secret plan? Sounds interesting! What is it?

Setsuna: Why don't we try adding some punchy spices? I want to express your energetic nature, which can easily do the hell triathlon in the Youkisoba.

You: Ahaha, thanks for the compliment! Then let's give it a try!

Setsuna: Okay! I've prepared these few spices for now!

You: You're going all out, huh~! What's this? *Sniff sniff*.... Yeap, that's one unique spice!

Setsuna: I'd like to put in some spicy and stimulating peppers, something that can give you a sort of spark in your brain!

You: Hmm.... I think this one and this one.... and also this one would work! Let's try making it. Setsuna-chan, can you cut the vegetables?

~Sometime Later~

You: Ta-da! It's done~! Let's try it!

Setsuna: Yes, thanks for the food. *Munch*.... Hnn~, it's delicious! It feels kind of Asian....? Oriental....? It's spicy, but it has such a deep flavor....!

You: Since you bought a ton of spices, it was a bunch of fun thinking about the seasonings. Let's bring some for everyone~♪

[End transcription.]

[madeofcc]

5, 10 & 22 in the ask game, please! (I hope you know how much I adore your work!)

Thanks a lot for these asks dear @shesthespinstersimmer :D I'm a huge fan of yours as well so this means a lot to me ♥

5/ how do you choose your characters’ names?

Oh ! This one is actually a good thought ! For DH I chose them for several reasons.

Destiny is obviously a strong name and you know that the one who'll have it will have a kind of burden to find their destiny ... Leïla and Soraya are french but also algerian so I chose arabic names I like for them (Leïla got that name because of a french arab actress named Leïla Bekhti -super talented). Hiro and Renji are half japanese and their names are a tribute to Tokyo Ghoul. Hugo has a french name because he adores France and french culture (but you'll see that later), but Hugo is not his real name. His name can't be spelled in our world. William has a typical dad name (and I think that Will is kind of a rock'n'roll name, don't know why). Violet got her name because of her hair. That way she's a memorable character instantly. The Brindletons all have typical english/american names (Edgar / Karen / Julia / Edgar Jr.) because they illustrate the white supremacy . Aïssa means alive and she's part african so that's why she chose this name. Milo can means seduction in a way (apparently) and the typical Milo character (apparently) is to be brave and confident, which he is (but you'll discover that later). Mizuki and Asami are part japanese so that's why I chose this name. I think that's all for my main characters at least ^^

10/ is your story fully planned or are you still working things out? is there a definitive end?

Everything is fully planned my dear :) DH is actually what I call my "netflix" serie because I created it just because I wanted to see a sims story with a main black female character who kills vampires >< That's why DH1 is so unorganized and a bit messy.

Then I started to think about the story and think about what I wanted to talk about in there. Because I'm a psycho who is obsessed by a story I have in mind until I find a proper ending/meaning to it I decided to prepare a proper plan for the entire serie. I love to write before sleeping, writting all my ideas down helps me to sleep a lot so DH kind of obsess my nights since I started it. Here's the plan I've prepared : DH1BB (Des is 18 / Beginning of everything/ 10 ep / Theme : Teenage issues) → A Special Day (DH2 EP0 -Theme : celebration of love. Lesbian love exactly) → DH2 Mystery in Sulani  (22/ Summer, fun and love with a touch of rebellion / 6 ep / Theme : Global warming - Capitalism - Rebellion - Love) → Melodia (DH3 EP0/ focus on Leïla and Hiro / Special Musical episode / Theme : Young adult’s lives) → DH3 Nightmares at Windenburg (Des is 24/ end of university and horror story / 12 episodes / Theme : Feminism / Fears / Toxic masculinity/ Finding yourself) → Special Episode focused on Renji and Milo (untitled yet / DH4 EP0 / Theme : dark gay investigation story) → DH4 (Des is 26/ the beginning of the end / around 10 episodes / craziest plot full of revelations ! / Theme : Upside Down ...) → Special episode focused on Destiny (you don’t want to miss that one) → DH 5 The Elementals War (Des is 28 /final season / 13 episodes / this will resolve everything and more). You can find some hints about what’s coming in the DH Halloween Special from DH1 ^^

The story also have a proper ending that I’m already satisfied with. I can tell you that every character alive at the end will have a ending. I’ve planned an ending in 3 entire episodes in order to show you everything. The only thing I can tell you is that Destiny will be 30 in the finale.

Now, remember when I say that I write before sleeping ? Then, picture what EA is doing with the sims (aka. their milk cow) ... I’m doing the same with DH lately, thinking about specific scenes I’d like to see but more ... Spin-off and AU >< I just thought about the spin-off yesterday and it could be something I might do. It would be totally different from DH but with one of it character as a main (title : Aïssa in the city -first draw at least) and the AU would be a kind of hunger games thing but not sure about that though ...

22/choose a favourite character from your story so far

Aaaaah !!! I can’t choose between my babies >< I guess I’ll say Destiny, Leïla and Renji because they’re the main trio of this all story after all.

Destiny because she’s my special baby but also because she’s everything I’d like to see in a TV show/movie more oftenly. I’m trying my best to give her more depth so she doesn’t just seems like “the hero” of the show.

Leïla is more personnal to me as we both share the same taste, we both have algerian roots, we both are witches, we both learnt trauma ... Yeah, we share a lot ...

Renji is also personnal but in a different way as he illustrates my dark thoughts and share them as well. He’s also my little special one with what happened to him :/ But Renji will be back (when ????) don’t worry ^^

Hope these answer are full of the infos you wanted ^^ Don’t hesitate to ask me more ! Thanks again for these ask my friend !

[peanutpinet]

Yuta (cold mafia boss)

Prompt: 20)“The only time a man should be fast is when he’s trying to dodge my bullets.” - 100 Dialogue Prompts for Mob Boss AUs

A/N: since NCT 127 have decided to attack us since Friday with all their day/night posts and whatever more things they still got in the back storage, I just gotta do some fics about the dark concept, cause like, yea XD. I asked my friend whose bias is Yuta to choose a prompt and so, here we are XD

Warnings: some form of harassment, cursing (it's Yuta) drinking, spiked drink and hint of kidnapping

It was a Friday night and you were more than excited to finally have some time off to hang out with your boyfriend, Yuta, who was also part "gang leader" of NCT, an infamous group that people thought do illegal doings when they're the ones shutting the illegal businesses down.

Yuta being Yuta didn't disclose what he did from the beginning. But he also never fully tell you everything which, is understandable, it was confidential information. Despite so, Yuta never restricted your movements and you both would have some normal cafe dates, picnic dates, etc. Even so, there will be times where Yuta would have you do some personal training that includes self-defence, quizzes about types of chemicals, guns, etc. In his defense, he just wants you to be prepared should something goes wrong and you're alone.

Despite following Yuta's needs, you would sometimes joke about how it won't happen or that Yuta will make sure it wouldn't go too far or even if anything did happen, you were sure that Yuta would eventually find a way to make things right. Boi, were you in for a treat.

As mentioned, you were finally going to have a night out with Yuta after so long and had just finished getting ready when you received a text from Yuta saying, "hey love, sorry this is super last minute but could you change into a more black-tie dress code? We are sort of having a business dinner tonight and I want to bring you as my date. I'm on my way to pick you up right now. Don't worry, you don't have to put on anything you're uncomfortable cause whatever you wear, you still look hot to me ;)"

So of course you did what Yuta asked. You changed into a simple long black dress that fitted your figure and touched up your makeup a bit more and let your hair down. As you were putting on the last of your accessories and about to put your shoes on, Yuta was already ringing the bell. You quickly opened the door for him and told him that you were just going to put your shoes on which Yuta chuckled and helped you as he saw you struggling.

"You didn't have to go all out and wear heels babe, you'll have sore feet by the end of the night" Yuta mentioned, holding you steady as you were putting on your heels

"I mean, if it's just dinner, I'll just be sitting either way. You so owe me with a pizza movie night next week" you complained, finally putting your shoes

"Anything for you babe. Let's go" Yuta smiled, bringing your arm wrapped around his and helped you get into the car before he went to the driver's seat

Arriving at the dinner, you felt out of place since this was the first time Yuta actually brought you. Noticing your nervous state, Yuta wrapped his arm over your shoulder, telling you that he'll be right beside you unless you need to go to the restroom or need some personal space.

Nodding, Yuta gave you a heartwarming smile and brought you around. First and foremost, to his other members that were joining the dinner, the people you knew the week you and Yuta started dating. Allowing some weight off since how worried you were.

"Oh, (Y/N)!! Welcome!! Hope Yuta didn't force you to come here" Johnny greeted you which Yuta gave him a glare

"Well, he sorta promised me for a pizza movie night date next week, so I guess it's a winwin" you replied, chuckling

"Oooh, can we come? I miss just watching movies on the weekend" Jungwoo requested, pulling out his puppy eyes

"Maybe if you find yourself a girlfriend, I'd consider it" Yuta hissed, you hit him playfully

"Hey (Y/N), sometimes I wonder what you see in Yuta. He's so aggressive" Jungwoo joked as Taeyong tried to calm everyone and directed everyone to their table since dinner was starting

Dinner surprisingly went well and the opposing business partners were actually cooperating; like, they would agree to what NCT were asking, even giving some suggestions for the corporation. But nevertheless, every NCT member were on their best guard; heck, they all had their guns rested by their hips and even knifes hidden within their clothing.

Seeing how the talk about the business bore you, you took a big sip off of the drink the waiter had just poured for you. Suddenly feeling the urge to go to the bathroom, you excused yourself from everyone at the table, nodding your head when Yuta told you to immediately come back once you're done.

However, you didn't go to the bathroom because of the urge to pee or anything. Instead, it's because you didn't feel too good, maybe the alcohol in your drink was a bit too much to your tolerance but whether you want to admit it or not, you didn't feel good and felt like you could pass out at any second.

After purging and sitting down for a bit, you felt slightly better but not good enough because everything around you was tilted. Taking a deep breath, you just kept on thinking how the dinner table wasn't that far and if you hurry, you can just make it to Yuta's side and pass out however you like.

Pulling whatever willpower you have left, you stood up and started to walk out of the bathroom. Holding onto the wall, you slowly walked down the hall back to your table, until someone came up to you, asking if you were alright which you told them that you were fine. You may be dizzy and not feeling good, but you surely weren't dumb nor were you drunk.

Despite the guy saying that all he wanted to do was to help you, you clearly knew that wasn't his true intention since he was gripping you a bit too much to your liking. You've tried pushing him away but that only made his grip tighter. And to top it off, instead of helping you to your actual table or at least asking where your table was, he brought you to a more quiet area; making your heart beat quicker.

Unfortunately, at this point, whatever was in your drink was sinking it and you slowly start to lose consciousness and hope as from what you can see, you were far from your table. But thank the universe because all of a sudden you hear a loud ring and the tight grip was gone; instead, it was replaced by a warm embrace.

"Get him out of here before I actually kill him right here and now" you heard Yuta's stern voice commanding his other members

"I got you, baby. Let's get you back home, hmm?" you heard Yuta's voice turned soft; not having any more energy, you just nodded and fell asleep in his embrace

Because Yuta felt he can't leave you alone nor not torment the people that hurt you, he decided to bring you back to NCT's place. Wiping off your makeup and putting on your skincare for you, Yuta had one of the maids help change your clothes and then he tucked you in bed; not leaving your side until he's convinced that you're fully asleep before leaving a gentle kiss on your forehead then quietly leaving the room.

Walking out of the room, he saw Jeno and Jaemin, asking them to guard your room until he gets back. Making his way to the basement, he met with the NCT members that joined the dinner that did not end well at all.

Turns out, not long after you left, the neos already had a bad feeling; that something was not right, especially since their "business partners" were eyeballing the situation around them and it was revealed that the dinner was just a cover-up and that they were planning to use you to get to the neos, which clearly did not end well for them.

"Is she alright?" Taeyong asked, seeing Yuta was fuming

"She's very much passed out the second I found her. Are they all in there?" Yuta questioned strictly

"Yea. All tied up and blindfolded on the ground" Johnny mentioned

"Good" Yuta smirked, slamming the door open, making the prisoners jerked in surprise

"Rise and shine motherf*ckers. I hope you're ready for what's coming" Yuta shouted as some of the neos took their blindfolds off

"And y'all call yourselves men. Tch. You guys may be agile but not agile enough. The only time a man should be fast is when he’s trying to dodge my bullets. Not getting caught by their enemies. And surely not looking or thinking to do anything to another person's girlfriend. Oh well, what's done is done. Be lucky that we all got there in time. But, that doesn't mean I'll go easy on you. Let's see...should I start off with your fingers because you touched my girl or your head for ever thinking that little stunt of yours. Either way, I'm definitely going to take my time with you all" Yuta ranted, a smirk forming on his face as he saw the horror of his prisoners while the neos put their blindfolds back on

A/N: yeap, this turned out longer than expected. Welp, this is what happens when NCT updates with a dark concept I guess XD

[tipsycad147]

Every Woman is a Witch: Menstrual Blood – Sacred Magic in You

By The Alchemist

Every Woman is a Witch! Menstruation or Menstrual Blood, also known as ‘period’, is the regular discharge of blood  from the uterus through the vagina. The word ‘Menstrual’ derives from the Green “μήνας”  and the Latin ‘mensis’ which actually means ‘month’. It is extremely interesting that the average length of the human menstrual cycle is similar to that of the lunar cycle. This is why Women and the Great Goddess have always been associated with the Moon and its Powers. Let me remind you, that the oldest calendars are based on the Lunar Circle.

Menstrual Blood Magic

In the ancient times, the first menstrual blood was a sign that a girl was attuning with the Great Goddess. The Menstrual Blood is an omen of the Goddess’s blood of immortality. It’s carrier of Life coming directly from its Source, the Great Goddess. A sign of Fertility, a sign of creativity and true Magic.

You can actually tap into its power once you understand that:

During Menstruation you enter a time of Spiritual Fertility (contrary to your body’s infertile time, thus achieving balance).

Your body may feel weak or tired but this is when your Sacred Feminine Energy is Awakened!

The pumping rhythm of blood flow resembles to the tides of the Sea.

Ovulation equals Full Moon – Menstruation equals New Moon, the time of your Full Magical Power

Scientific studies have shown that peak rates of conception and ovulation appear to occur during the full moon. The Majority of Menstruation occurs during the New Moon.

I repeat. When Menstruating, you are entering the phase of your Greatest Magical Power – the Greatest Mysteries. The Time that equals with the New Moon, the darkest of Nights drenched in infinite possibilities. This is who you become!

Menstrual Blood’s Magic Lore

The power of Menstruation was well known in the Ancient Religions. Egyptian priests and priestesses prepared a magic potion with menstrual blood to connect with female deities.

Menstrual Blood is believed to be a Source of Eternal Life. According to the Nordic Religion, god Thor achieved a great state of power and eternal life by bathing in a river of a primordial Goddess’s menstrual blood. This a symbol that the Menstrual Blood is a source of divine power and magic.

Menstruation is a powerful tool in Blood Magic (along with the blood of Childbirth). It requires no sacrifice as it is yours. Witches prepared and drunk potions contained their menstruation in order to enhance their magical powers. You don’t have to drink it though to get it’s power.

The Mayan Civilization identified the New Moon with Menstruation. They used an expression “the moon is lowered” or “her moon is lowered” to actually mean “she is menstruating”.

Menstrual Blood is pure Magic. It’s not bad although it can be used in dark spells. You have your own moral compass though. Do not mess with black magic.

Ancient Priests prepared a ‘drink of immortality’. This was a magical potion which allegedly made warriors unbeatable. This potion contained menstrual blood and sperm.

Moreover, Menstruation is linked with the Moon. Hence as already said, it is linked with the tidal waves. This is why menstrual blood is considered to be an extremely potent attraction ingredient.

Menstrual Blood is well known for its magical and regenerative powers. This is why when Witchcraft was condemned, the Sacred Feminine power was also hidden in shadows. In other words, Menstruation was ashamed because it was feared of its greatness. Christian menstruating women are usually forbidden from the great rituals.

Post-menopausal woman are believed to be even more powerful in Magic. This belief comes from the fact that they no longer waste their menstrual blood.

In Tao, Menstrual blood is called Red Dragon, chilong 赤龍, while Sperm is called White Tiger, baihu 白虎. There is actually an ancient taoist technique called “beheading the Red Dragon”. By mastering this technique you actually stop your menstruation. Keeping all the magic of menstrual blood in you equals lots of energy. Thus, this is the key for eternal life and unlimited power.

Menstrual Blood Desecrated:

It’s no secret that Witch Hunting usually focused on women. Why? Because it actually targeted the sacred feminine, a birthright for ALL WOMEN. Clearly, these religions who based their power in patriarchy fear the Magic all Women hide inside.

It’s widely believed that Witch Hunts targeted the ones who survived the Old Religion. Witches were actually priestesses of of the Old Ways who kept the sacred flame alight. These wise women, knew the power of their menstruation.

This hatred against menstruation and the Female Nature, probably comes from the Ancient Zoroastrian who is believed to inspire Judaeo-Christian religions. Zoroastrians associated menstruation with the evil god Ahriman and the “demon whore” Geh. Ahriman gave Geh the menstrual blood, an evil material.

In Bible – Old Testament, it’s clear about Menstruating Women: Leviticus 15:19-33 “Whenever a woman has her menstrual period, she will be ceremonially unclean for seven days.” YEAP! 7 DAYS!

In Christian Religion, women who are menstruating are considered impure. Does unclean mean empowered?

Uses of Menstruation in Spells and Rituals:

Menstrual Blood is used for many magical causes. It is believed to be the link with the Great Goddess. One of the most powerful magical tools. Therefore, it is used to the following reasons.

Healing Spells

Fertility Spells

Reincarnation and Karma Spells

Activating Magical Powers

Love Spells

and Attraction spells

DISCLAIMER: Drinking your Menstrual Blood might be an unsafe practice. Blood is rich in iron and it can cause digestive problems and diarrhoea. Moreover, blood is a material to cultivate almost all bacteria and viruses. Hence is can give you all kinds of infections. Drinking another’s Blood may also infect you with diseases (HIV virus, hepatitis etc). Ask your medical doctor if you plan to try it.

https://www.magicalrecipesonline.com/2017/12/menstrual-blood-sacred-magic-in-you.html

[def-initely-soul]

house rules {2}

pairing: jimin x reader (f.)

genre: fluff; angst; roommates au; kinda new girl au; smut; f2l au

rating: explicit

warnings: sexual content; mention of emotional abuse; mention of manipulative relationship; mention of body issues; explicit smut

words: 19.6k

summary:

↠ {living with two guys has always its pros and cons. Pros being someone will always get you popcorn for your midnight cravings. Cons being you might like one of them…?} ↞

or alternatively, the shenanigans of five friends, where two of them are in a loving relationship, one is Kim Seokjin and the other two don’t know what the fuck they’re doing

.

.

Next morning, on Christmas eve, you try to be as nonchalant as you can. Thankfully your walls are thick enough so no one took notice of your late-night shenanigans and what happened between you before Hoseok’s interruption was barely anything out of the ordinary.

Thankfully you get yourself distracted with the preparations for this evening. Every year the five of you plan a traditional Christmas dinner, idea courtesy of Hoseok’s and Seokjin’s minds, where every single one of you was assigned to different tasks.

Seokjin is in charge of the roasted turkey, as he is every year, Hoseok will cook his famous vanilla-roasted sweet potatoes, Jimin will prepare a cauliflower soup and Ana is always in charge of the desert. This year choosing the recipe of a Buche de Noel.

You’re left with the simple task of making smooth mashed potatoes and bringing the booze.

Even though simpler than what others have to do, it gives you time to be alone and focus on something else other than Jimin. Whether you’re cooking or going to the store to pick up the alcohol, your time is productively filled with anything other than thoughts of him.

You take a nap around midday, leaving the kitchen free for the guys to use. Taking a hold of this opportunity to stay clear of Jimin’s gaze. You make sure your interactions are limited between the lines of what is only necessary, even when the preparations are done and you sit around the table.

Ana and Seokjin arrive together, the turkey the size of a small TV, which Seokjin himself puts on the table. Not letting anyone else help him or carve it, flashbacks of last year when Jimin tried to carve it and nearly dropped it still etched to everyone’s memory.

You help Ana move the desert to the fridge for later, and as all of you take your places at the dinner table, you feel a particular set of eyes on you.

Thankfully you don’t sit next to him so you don’t have any one-on-one conversation like you do with Seokjin sitting to your right. You only talk to him when the conversation involves the whole group and that’s only to not alert anyone that something is off.

Your mind is swarmed with memories of Jimin’s look. With the way he’s looking at you now.

You ignore it in favour of talking to Ana at the end of the table as she rumbles excitedly about the party next week. You immerse yourself in that conversation, going lightly over some details and pouring another glass of wine as Seokjin passionately joins you.

Although, even if you’re engrossed to something else you can’t help but notice one thing. 

He never mentions Dinah.

And that gives you magnificent, dreadful hope.

.

.

It’s New Year's Eve, and you’re in an awfully good mood.

The party is in full bloom, the essence of joy and excitement wafting through the air, people dancing their worries away and laughing under the neon-lights (Ana really went all-in in the decoration department), having fun in what can only be a fitting welcome for a bright New Year.

The mulled wine has gotten slightly into you, landing you in that perfect spot between sober and tipsy, just enough to elevate your already high spirits. Besides you’re also celebrating finally finishing your book. It’s been a bitch of a struggle but finally, you’ve gone and did it. Finally booking an appointment with a publishing company that took an interest in you after reading one of your drafts you’ve previously sent them.

And well. Dinah isn’t here.

“I cannot believe I’m talking to the next Stephen King!” Hoseok yaps excitedly, throwing an arm around your shoulder, voice raised higher than normal due to the several “old-fashioned” he managed to throw back.

You grunt from the sudden weight as he leans a bit too much on your side to stand up. “Okay, step it down a notch, buddy,” you chuckle, patting him on the shoulder.

He thinks it over before-. “Sir Arthur Conan Doyle?”

Your eyes widen, an involuntary laugh escaping you. “I said step it down a notch, not climb the whole mcfreakin ladder?” Hoseok giggles happily, before his eyes rest on the hostess, who’s currently talking to a coworker, gleeful smile in full bloom.

He waves at you to lean closer to him and you oblige. “See that girl over there?” he whispers to you conspiratory, pointing at Ana who seems oblivious to your conversation. You chuckle at his drunk antics but decide to appease him and nod.

A blissful smile takes over his lips. “Imma marry her someday.”

You barely keep your smile at bay. Honestly, Hoseok is whipped for Ana and anyone who doesn’t see that is blind, so it doesn’t sound weird coming from him. You’re willing to bet his wish is gonna come true someday. It’s just a matter of time.

Though you’re happy for your friends, you can’t let this teasing opportunity pass you by.

“Hey, champ, I got some bad news for you…” you press your lips together in mock-sadness and Hoseok’s face falls.

“She has a boyfriend,” you deliver the final blow and his eyes widen. Before he bursts into tears.

At least a couple of people stare at you, as Hoseok bawls his eyes out and you can’t stop cackling. Oh, god, you didn’t know he was this drunk, he was perfectly fine moments ago! Although to be perfectly candid, he has a low alcohol tolerance, so really this one is on you.

Ana shows up after a few seconds, worry etched into her features after seeing her boyfriend cry like a baby. “What happened? Are you okay?” she asks him, obviously more sober than him, but once she sees you laughing, her eyes narrow. “What did you do to him?”

You shrug, your expression being the poster-child for innocence. “Nothing! I just told him you have a boyfriend.”

This sends another wave of tears down Hoseok’s cheeks and Ana laughs incredulously. 

“Is it true? Do you have a boyfriend” Hoseok struggles to ask through his hiccups and Ana can’t repress the lovesick smile on her lips.

“Yes and he’s a giant baby.”

“Does that mean I still have a chance?”

Ana chuckles before pressing a kiss on Hoseok’s pouty lips. “It’s you, you dufus! Now, come on, let’s get you to lay down…”

“Really?” he says with the most childlike smile you’ve ever seen on him. And only seconds later it turns into a smirk. "Oh, I will lay down, I will lay down so hard that you-” he struggles to complete his sentence, “that you’ll want to lay down with me…”

You groan out loud, not ready for the scene to turn into an NSFW one. “Are you horny all the time?” you complain out loud and the couple raises their brows at you.

“...Already know the answer to that one. Thank you very much five years of living together!” you admit regrettably and Ana tsks you.

“Serves you right for having the nerve to terrorize the sun himself!”

“That’s me!” Hoseok points to himself with a proud smile and you press your lips together to stop the giggles from escaping as Ana rolls her eyes fondly at her boyfriend.

“I’ll get him to my room-” Hoseok finger guns her, winks and blows her a kiss, “could you please make him some coffee?” Ana pleads you as she struggles to push a drunk Hoseok down the hall.

“You got it, babe! I’m gonna roast this coffee so bad, it’s gonna go running to its momma!” you announce in the spur of the moment, but Ana just looks at you like you’ve grown a second head.

“Doesn’t work for me, does it?” Ana just shakes her head and you huff. “I’ll go get the coffee…”

You drive through the crowd, barely avoiding the drinks spilling left and right and finally reach the kitchen. Thankfully there’s only like a couple of people around, so you reach for the french press easily, adding the coffee grounds and warming some water in the microwave.

“Why on earth are you having coffee with so much alcohol around and why does that weirdly make sense for you?” Jimin enters your vision, resting his hip on the counter in a mirror of your stance and you have to take a breath.

His dark blue hair is slicked back, revealing the magnificence of his eyebrows (yeap, that’s another spot of Jimin you’re weak about). He’s dressed in all black; black jeans, black T-shirt with an open neckline, a leather belt hugging closely at his hips, a dangly earring gracing his earlobe and a silver chain resting against his glistening collarbones. He has been dancing and all you wanna do is dive in and bite at the skin of his neck, glinting welcoming under the dimmed lights.

Focus.

“Give me a break, it’s not even for me…” you joke back, just in time to cover up your little zone-out. Jimin stares back confused.

“Who then-?” he makes a sound of realization before he chuckles. “Hoseok,” he responds and you nod, a giggle already on your lips.

After Christmas eve, when you refused to even speak to him, things became less weird. It seems like the two days you spent actively avoiding each other helped in restoring the dynamics back to normality. You’re not even sure who made the first move but after a few days, you were back to normal, as if that thing on the couch never happened.

Maybe it is for the best to pretend it never happened. No feelings are going to get hurt this way.

“Yeap, Ana took him back to her bedroom,” you reply, moving to pour the water into the french press.

Jimin raises an unconvinced eyebrow as he hands you a mug. “And are you sure they’re not gonna fuck back there?”

You take the mug with an appreciative nod. “Honestly, they’re probably fucking right now on their way there. Maybe they are, maybe they’re not. Maybe I’ll be scarred for the rest of my life walking into that and maybe I won’t.”

“And you’ll take those chances?” Jimin chuckles incredulously and you almost swoon at the way his smile lights up the room.

“This coffee won’t deliver itself!” you joke and Jimin’s smile turns bigger.

“Your service is greatly appreciated!” he says with an awful British accent and proceeds to laugh.

“Well, thank you good sir!” you play into it with a curtsy and both of you burst into happy, slightly intoxicated giggles.

Your eyes rest on the french press as the coffee grounds seep into the water and it’s like your lips have a mind of their own when they ask the following question.

“So, alone tonight?” you ask with fake nonchalance and you swear Jimin tenses.

You can’t help yourself. From the moment you realized Dinah was absent you wanted to know why. They’ve been dating for almost a month, so that means they’d still be all over each other, you figured they’d want to spend New Year's together.

So how come Dinah isn’t here?

Jimin nods, eyes absentmindedly following your fingers as they trace the marble counter.

“What happened to Dinah? Didn’t want to spend New Years with our ugly asses?” you joke, hoping to lift the tension off his shoulders and rejoice when Jimin cracks a smile.

“No, no. Actually, her friends are throwing a party too…” he simply says, not giving you another explanation even though something else clearly bothers him. You don’t ask further, figuring he’ll tell you if he wants to, so you move to press the plunger down and pour the brown liquid into the cup Jimin handed you earlier.

“And I actually didn’t …” he hesitates, biting his bottom lip.

God, this is straight-up torture.

“Didn’t…?” you urge him on, sensing his desire to say whatever’s bothering him.

He takes a breath.

“Didn’t have the need to invite her…?” he admits, eyes on the steaming cup of coffee, struggling to put his thoughts into words as you stare at him utterly confused. He didn’t have the need to invite her? Like, he didn’t care if she was here?

No, Y/N, don’t get your hopes up.

Jimin huffs, running a hand through his hair.

“I mean.. I didn’t want to.”

And you find him staring at you again, with those intense, magnetic eyes and your breath is sucked out of your lungs.

He didn’t want to invite her. Why? What does it mean? Why did he do it?

And why is he looking at you like that?

Did he-?

“Surprise!” a familiar female voice echoes through the kitchen as Dinah throws herself literally against Jimin, hugging his waist with an excited smile. No concern in her eyes over your panicked faces.

You don’t know if she heard your conversation but if she did, she doesn’t show it.

Jimin’s wide, panicked eyes travel between you and Dinah. “Dinah, what are you doing here? I thought you were spending New Year’s at Minoh’s?” he turns around to bring her forward and the intimacy hiding in the domestic action drives a knife through your chest.

“That party was boring as hell. And I missed you,” she says with a blinding smile and leans in to press a soft kiss on Jimin’s lips, ripping your heart in two.

You can’t stand this. You can’t stand to watch as she kisses him right in front of you and you feel like an outsider, glimpsing at something you long for but can’t have. Is it always gonna be this hard?

You swallow the lump in your throat, gripping the cup tighter and force a smile on your lips just in time for the couple to miss your crestfallen expression.

It’s time to get out of here.

“That’s great! You’re just in time to spend New Year’s together!” you exclaim with forceful enthusiasm and Dinah nods excitedly as Jimin looks at you with an indecipherable expression. “You’ll have to excuse me, I have to deliver this bad boy!” you smile, pointing at the mug and you start walking away, already waiting for the moment you don’t have to keep that smile on your face any longer.

That seems to wake Jimin up as his eyes widen. “Wait, Y/N, I didn’t-”

“Have fun at the party!” you interrupt him, keeping the smile on for a little longer, before you turn your back at them, smile disappearing, steps fast as you miss Jimin’s face filled with despair.

.

.

Your steps bring you back to the living room, already having delivered the coffee to Ana’s room. Although Jimin’s suspicions were correct and you walked into a scene you’d rather forget, closing your eyes to avoid any more damage on your retina, resulting in you leaving the couple with a half-spilt coffee.

Not that they’ll be needing it now anyway.

Stepping into the main area of the party you can’t help the sour mood that takes over you, watching everyone have a good time. You were also having a good time until Dinah arrived.

Which reminds you. What did Jimin mean back then? Was it just stupid you with your tendency to read way too much into things or did he actually mean what you wanted him to?

And if he did, why is he still dancing with her?

Your eyes are stuck to the couple in question, dancing in the middle of the living room as a mid-tempo dance track plays through the speakers, Dinah’s hands wrapped around Jimin’s waist as he sways her softly to the beat.

The night started out so well. You were having fun, for once all worries put aside as you didn’t have to think about the book or Dinah, or Jimin. You were happy.

But then someone decided to shit all over that happiness and you were back to the beginning. Having your heart broken by your best friend and he doesn’t even know.

You take a breath to calm the erratic beating of your cracking heart when you see a too familiar face emerging from the kitchen.

Oh no, what is Jaehyun doing here?

You move quickly, dreading to talk to him, hoping he won’t see you but, alas, luck was never on your side.

His eyes spot you all the way across the room, with numerous people in between like he has laser vision or something. A smile takes over his lips as he waves at you and begins walking towards you.

God, no. No, you can’t deal with him right now. He’ll probably want another date and you know he deserves to know the truth but you just can’t do it right now.

You’re quick to move to the balcony, trying to lose him through the crown but his voice keeps calling you even outside. You slip through the people and into the living room, stopping to see him briefly lose you as his eyes scan the balcony.

You escape into the kitchen, hoping he won’t look for you here and in your hastiness to hide, you fall face-first into Seokjin’s chest.

“Fuck, sorry, you need to move!” you say urgently, trying to hide behind the massive wall he calls his shoulders.

Seokjin regards you with a suspicious glare. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to hide from Jaehyun!” you bite through gritted teeth as your eyes scan the open area behind you. With relief you realise Jaehyun isn’t anywhere near, just a bunch of other people and Jimin talking with Dinah and Hoseok.

Your heart still clenches uncomfortably when Seokjin interrupts your thoughts.

“Why are you hiding from Jaehyun? Didn’t the date go well?” he asks you purely confused and with guilt, you realize you never told him nor Ana that you bailed.

You bite your lip. “I didn’t go…”

Seokjin’s eyes widen comically. “What?! Why?! I thought you wanted to!”

You groan rubbing your palm on your face. “I just… didn’t feel like it anymore! And now he’s here, looking for me and I don’t know what to do! Who invited him anyway?”

At that Seokjin has the decency to look guilty. “I may have seen him at the coffee shop and invited him… But in my defence I didn’t even know you bailed on him!” he looks at you with a scolding glare and another groan leaves your lips.

“Oh, shit here he comes…” Seokjin looks carefully behind you and you steal a glance to indeed see Jaehyun stepping into the living room and walking straight towards you.

“Okay, fuck, let me think…” you mumble in thought when you see something on the ceiling, hanging just a few centimetres behind Seokjin.

“Got it!” you exclaim, and when Seokjin doesn’t follow, you push him back so both of you stand right beneath the thing hanging from the ceiling and then you point at it, knowing he’ll catch the drift.

Seokjin’s eyes follow your fingers, only to widen in horror when they rest at what you're pointing at.

Mistletoe.

“No! No, no, no, I’m not kissing you so you can get rid of him!” he hisses, eyes swimming in denial and disbelief. But you narrow your eyes at him.

“It’s your fault he’s here! So step the fuck up Kyle!” you hiss back and Seokjin looks less than thrilled.

“Don’t quote vines to me, you heathen, I won’t hesitate bitch!” he responds and you know you’re halfway winning him over.

“I can’t believe you’ve done this…” you reply, mastering the perfect puppy eyes.

The sound of his favourite vine has him yielding in a matter of seconds, choking back a laugh before he rolls his eyes. “Fine. But we gotta hurry up, he’s almost here,” Seokjin relents, eyes falling behind you.

“Buckle up,” is the only thing you say before grasping Seokjin’s panicked face and press your mouths together.

You stay like that for a few seconds, simply pressing your lips together like an awful K-drama kiss though there’s no romantic music playing in the background. The kiss is at its best… underwhelming. That’s what you were lusting after all those years? It certainly doesn’t live up to the expectations.

You lean back, staring at Seokjin who barely manages to conceal his weirded out face. “Is he gone?” you whisper and Seokjin nods in relief.

“Yes, he’s gone…” he mumbles, letting out a breath as you let his face free and take a step back, finally breathing freely.

“Don’t ever do that again!” he exclaims, his words followed by a loud gagging noise.

“Anything for you Beyonce!” you say, sharing the sentiment and you grab a random shot glass on the counter, to wash out the feeling of Seokjin’s clumsy mouth on yours.

“We don’t tell anyone. We take this to the grave and live the rest of our lives feeling slightly awkward with each other. Sounds good?” Seokjin states with wide eyes and you laugh at his seriousness.

“Ay, ay, captain! Now take a shot with me to erase the memory for good!” you say, filling two glasses with tequila and you hand him one.

“To forgetting this ever happened!” he raises his shot and you follow his movements before downing the contents of the glass.

“Amen to that.”

.

.

Half an hour later, its time for the countdown so the New Year can officially begin.

The automatic clock on Ana’s TV screen reads 23:59:03 and you rush to gather your friends together in one place, so the New Year can find all five of you together as it has for the last four years.

The rest of the attendees also gather in groups; friends, couples, coworkers, newly made acquaintances but all shimmering with the vibrating delight to welcome the New Year and the opportunities that are bound to come.

Ana and Hoseok are already counting down the numbers - admittedly a bit too early -, and Seokjin passes you four tequila shots to celebrate once the clock strikes midnight. But then he’s left with an extra one and realization strucks you.

“Hey, where’s Jimin? He’s supposed to be here!” you yell to be heard amidst the loud chattering of the crowd, but your question remains unanswered when Seokjin shrugs his shoulders in loss.

Ana looks around to find said-man but it’s Hoseok that finally puts an end to the mystery. “Uh, actually he went home!”

Your eyebrows furrow, confusion apparent in your eyes. He’s never missed out on this! How could he leave? You always spent New Year’s together, the five of you, it was your unique tradition, one you’ve expected him to keep up with.

Maybe he was feeling a bit under the weather, you try to reason with yourself. Let’s not get mad at him before knowing the whole story.

“Wait, so he left without telling anyone? Is he okay? Did he even tell Dinah he’d leave?” you question back, aware of Ana & Seokjin’s wary gazes but you don’t bother to acknowledge them.

Thankfully, Hoseok still isn’t entirely sober to notice them either and start asking questions.

He just shakes his head at you. “Oh, no, they both left. Oh, the countdown’s started!”

As people begin shouting along with the voice on the TV you can’t help but stare aimlessly into space.

They both left. Jimin ditched you, all four of you to spend New Year’s with Dinah. Alone.

And it hurts. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.

It shouldn’t feel as much as a personal attack but it does. He left all four of you but it still feels like he specifically left you behind. As if he doesn’t care anymore. Before all that the chance of the two of you ever happening was abysmal. But it was still there, however small. You were fine with that cause at least you knew he valued you as a friend.

Now, you’re not even sure of that anymore.

You should be fine with him leaving. You’re just his friend.

And yet the heartbreak is overbearing.

Seokjin looks at you carefully as Hoseok keeps counting down to one, entirely unaware of what just happened as Ana counts with him but her eyes are on you.

You give her and Seokjin a weak smile, before averting your eyes quickly to count as well, not bearing to see the looks of pity in their eyes.

You hate this.

The clock strikes midnight.

You’ve never felt more alone.

.

.

The next morning finds you exhausted when you wake up on Seokjin’s couch. You’re not sure you could handle going back to the apartment and having Dinah and Jimin across the hall from you. Hoseok was going to spend the night at Ana’s, meaning firstly he kinda gave Jimin the pass to run wild and secondly you couldn’t crash at Ana’s. Of course, she insisted it was okay but you didn’t want to cockblock her on New Year’s. So Seokjin offered his home as an alternative which you happily accepted.

You’re dreading to go back to your flat, though already knowing it’s an inevitable curse, you leave a note for Seokjin to find when he wakes up and then you leave his apartment.

On the way home, you wonder if you should trek over to the donut shop around the corner for some heavenly delicacies but then you’d have to buy Jimin and Dinah some. And that is simply something you’re not willing to do.

Hopefully, they’ll be both asleep when you arrive, too tired to be up at 10 am on New Year’s, so you’ll get your chance to quietly slip into your room and avoid everyone for the rest of the week.

Maybe even a month until those stupid feelings finally decide to disappear.

You try your best to be as soundless as possible when you unlock the front door. You enter the living room on your tiptoes, closing the door quietly behind you before moving to throw your coat on the hanger.

The moment you think you’re alone passes by quickly when you hear the door of the fridge being shut and immediately turn around to see Jimin staring at you with bleary eyes. His hair is a mess as he’s clad in a white T-shirt and grey sweatpants as his pjs, a cup of what must be steaming coffee on one hand as the other runs through his locks. You find yourself salivating.

“Where did you go this early in the morning?” his gruff voice comes out, purely confused and before you get to correct him, his eyes fall on your figure. And he realizes you’re still dressed the same as last night.

“Did you just get here?” he asks, his voice a tad too sharp and accusing to be considered friendly and your arms wrap around your middle protectively.

“Uh, yeah… I crashed at Seokjin’s… Too tired to come back after helping Ana clean up…” you joke, forcing a laugh to hopefully ease the sudden tension hanging in the air.

Though your airy laugh doesn’t reach Jimin. Instead, his eyes are fixed on the wall to his right, jaw tense in what seems almost as anger before he takes a quick sip of his coffee and slum the cup on the counter.

“Ugh… are you okay-?” your confusion is apparent in your voice as Jimin walks off the kitchen, down the hallway.

“I’m going back to sleep…” he mumbles through clenched teeth before he disappears inside his bedroom and closes the door with a loud bang.

You stare weirdly at his door, bewildered by his entire behaviour but you’re still too sleepy to let it get to you. So instead you opt for crawling over to your room and hide beneath the covers.

.

.

The days after New Year’s turn out weirder and weirder to the point of questioning your mental state.

Seokjin still feels somewhat awkward around you after the kiss but instead of avoiding you, as any normal human being would do, he actively seeks you out, clinging to you and following you around like a shadow, as if the over-exposure will help him get rid of the awkwardness faster.

True to your words, none of you have said anything about it to the others, so you were half waiting for everyone to be immediately weirded out by Seokjin’s sudden display of affection. But apart from Ana that gave you some scarce confused looks, the other two haven’t made a single comment, as if this is a completely normal situation. They barely blink when even yourself gets creeped out from Seokjin’s insistent coddling.

Which brings you to the other weird thing happening in the flat.

Jimin barely talks to you anymore.

You don’t have the slightest idea why. If you said something, or done something that offended him, you’re none the wiser. And how are you supposed to know when he barely greets you in the morning?

Every time you attempt conversation, there’s always something he has to do, which sounds completely ironic, given you were the one that kinda did the same before.

Not to cover your own ass but you did that for the sake of your friendship! If Jimin ever finds out you’re into him, you can’t bear to think the effect this might have on your friendship.

Whereas Jimin might as well be angry over such a small thing as you using his earbuds.

It wouldn’t have bothered you that much if it wasn’t for Dinah.

Well, she barely does anything, it's just that Jimin always goes to her when he has the chance. Nights spent with all five of you together munching on popcorn in front of the TV, turn into awkward gatherings as Ana and Hoseok pair up against you and Seokjin, leaving the two of you cringing whenever the couple does something too coupley.

At New Year’s Eve, he practically admitted he wasn’t that much into her anymore and now he’s always with her. Did he lie back then? And if so why?

Everything is wrong and you don’t know how to fix it.

If only Jimin hadn’t begun dating Dinah, none of this would’ve happened. You wouldn’t have realised you liked him, he wouldn’t have spent so much time with her, he wouldn’t abandon the four of you for her.

Although, a small part of you screams you would’ve realised you liked Jimin either way. It wasn’t about Dinah.

And yet you can’t help the loathing that emerges like bile in your throat when you hear her name.

Or when Jimin, after two weeks of avoiding the rest of you, announces you are to throw a dinner so you can get to know her better.

You feel the headache splitting your skull open.

.

.

It’s nearly impossible to hide your sour mood once Dinah steps into the apartment.

A switch has flipped and where there was a smile from joking around with Ana, now there’s a permanent scowl on your face as you refuse to even acknowledge the newcomer, as she greets the rest of your friends.

Once she says hello to you too, you mumble something that resembles a greeting, not even bothering to look at her direction, as Ana regards you with a warning glare.

Deep down you know most of your attitude comes from Jimin’s behaviour these last couple of days, and Dinah’s direct contribution is only at roughly 10%. But you’re stubborn, immature and putting the blame on her seems like an easy way to cope with the situation and the hurricane of feelings swirling in your mind.

No one said it’s the right one. But for now, it’s what keeps you from hiding in your bedroom and wallowing in self-pity. Not that you won’t do that later.

You result in setting the table with Hoseok in silence, not really in the mood to talk, as everyone else sits in the living room and you catch glimpses of their conversation.

Seokjin and Ana talk about a new addition Seokjin wants to put on the menu of his restaurant, while Jimin and Dinah dally on the other side of the room.

You think you’re gonna barf.

“Ugh… Y/N are you okay?”

You turn around at the voice, surprised to see Hoseok stare at you with confused and worried eyes. Shit, did he sniff out something?

“Ah, yes! Why?” you put forward your most cheery voice in the hopes it will throw him off.

“‘Cause you keep stabbing the meat with the forks…” he comments carefully, leaning a bit backwards as his worry grows, once your confused eyes meet his.

And then you look back to the meat and, surely, all the forks you were supposed to pass around the table are stabbed into the steaks on the centre of the table.

Your eyes widen as you press your lips together in horror. God, why can’t you just behave for once?

You rush to remove all the utensils, dumping them into the sink and you pick out new ones, as Hoseok keeps staring at you with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m fine!” you respond with a clipped voice and you’re not sure what Hoseok hears in your voice but he drops it, in favour of placing the napkins around the table. Though you can still feel his weirded-out stare from time to time.

Once the table is set, Hoseok calls for everyone to gather around and one by one flock to their seats.

And as you put the finishing touches, you can’t help but hear Jimin’s conversation with Dinah.

“We have ice cream for dessert, you’re gonna love this one, it’s heavenly!” he says with excitement.

“Oh, only if it’s vegan, me and regular milk don’t go along…” she jokes and as Jimin says he’ll have someone check, an idea pops into your head. A petty, childish idea but it gives you some purpose for now.

So, she’s lactose intolerant? It would surely be a shame if she were to eat normal ice cream.

And by “shame” you mean hilarious.

The little voice in the back of your head berates you for acting so immature but at this moment you desperately need this. You can be salty for one evening.

What’s the harm?

.

.

Once everyone’s plates are empty, the lot of you migrate to the living room, as you stay in the kitchen to get the ice cream out of the freezer.

Jimin told Ana to ask you to check for the ice cream some time ago, -can you believe it, he didn’t even ask you! He had to talk to Ana for god’s sake-, and you did. But just as you’d suspected it wasn’t vegan.

So your plan is good to go.

You have Seokjin help you carry the bowls of ice cream to the living room and you pass each one around as they’re expected with excited noises.

Ana almost moans at the delicious flavour and Hoseok chuckles at his girlfriend’s antics as you sit next to Seokjin and dive straight into your own bowl.

During dinner it seemed everyone got along just fine with Dinah, talking and joking together as if she’s been a part of this group for a long time. And it bothers you even more.

You also recognize her attempts to get close to you as well but really you can’t be bothered. It comes to the point where she talked to you and all you did is give her a one-word answer before turning your attention somewhere else.

Though right at this moment your attention is solely on her as she takes a scoop out of her ice cream.

“Mmm, it’s really good!” she says excitedly to a smiling Jimin, as she swoops in for another spoon.

But after a few seconds, her eyebrows scrunch in confusion, as she keeps the ice cream in her mouth, looking as if she’s trying to figure out something. You can barely contain your gloating.

“Uhm, this ice cream is vegan right?” she rushes to say, eyes growing just a bit wider with what seems like panic.

Ana turns to look at you and you answer with the most innocent look you can manage, acting like you just realised you didn’t.

“Oh, oops! I guess I forgot to check, sorry! Why, are you lactose intolerant?” you respond in the first complete sentence you’ve given her tonight, internally gloating at her misfortune.

She swallows, her eyes widen even more, traces of fear growing in them. “Ugh, no-”

What does she mean no?

“I’m allergic.”

At once every conversation ceases, all eyes resting on her, wide in shock.

Fuck.

Jimin is the first to react.

“What?! Shit. Are you okay, should we take you to a hospital?” he asks in panic, placing the ice cream as further away from her as he can while you’re left staring at her in horror.

“Well, since I can feel my tongue thwelling, I thay we thould,” she comments shaking, losing the ability to pronounce the letter “s” as more time passes.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” you struggle to say, full of remorse, but no one seems to hear you as the situation goes haywire.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, this wasn’t supposed to happen!

Seokjin is immediately on his feet. “I’ll drive you there, you guys clean up here okay?” he commands urgently and as you feel the guilt overwhelming you, you stand up form your spot in an instant.

“I’ll come with!” your voice trembles as you reach for your bag while Jimin and Seokjin help Dinah out of the apartment hurriedly.

But as soon as you speak Jimin’s furious eyes are on you.

“I think you’ve done enough.”

And then he slams the door behind them.

You’re left staring at the piece of wood with trembling eyes, as Ana and Hoseok simply stare at you, Hoseok’s eyes wide in shock as yours while Ana’s are filled with disappointment.

You. Fucking. Idiot.

.

.

It’s almost four hours later when Jimin and Seokjin return, finding only Hoseok in the living room waiting for them as he asks them how it went.

But Jimin doesn’t bother answering him as he instead marches with loud, angry steps towards your room.

On the other side of the door, your nails are nearly non-existent from all the nervous thinking that has plagued your mind for the last few hours. Your texts to both of them asking how Dinah was, were left unanswered and you were left brewing in your own nerves.

Until the door opens and Jimin walks in.

You freeze in your spot once your eyes meet his and see the undecipherable expression on his face.

You only manage to mumble a guilt-ridden “hi” and he closes the door behind him as he closes his eyes and takes a deep, calming breath.

Although it seems to not do much.

“What the fuck, Y/N?!”

Your answer is immediate, full of regret. “I know, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! Is she okay?” you ask, out of your wits with panic as you wait for him to answer.

He seems too tired, too exhausted as he responds. “They gave her an antihistamine, she’ll be fine,” he says with a sigh but then his eyes are full of rage as they rest on you again. “But do you realize what might have happened if we were a bit late?! She could have died!” he yells at you, voice full of unbridled outrage as his eyes grow even more with the passing of time and you feel smaller and smaller.

“I’m sorry!-” you repeat again, feeling incredibly awful with what you’ve done, “-I thought she was just lactose intolerant, not allergic!” you say in hopes of redeeming yourself even just a bit but maybe this wasn’t the right thing to say as it seems Jimin’s anger only grows.

“This isn’t the fucking point, Y/N!”, you flinch at the volume of his voice, “The point is you've been trying to sabotage this for weeks! You think I haven't seen the side-glances and the mocking giggles?! I fucking know you don’t like her but couldn’t you just pretend for my sake? Do you have to go to such lengths to let us all know you hate her?!” he spits at you with wild eyes and you fight the urge to wrap your arms around your frame.

“I didn’t poison her on purpose…” you mumble in explanation and your eyes stare at your feet, not daring to look at him, drowning in shame.

“No, but all the other things were!” he refutes with impatience, but then he sighs. His shoulders fall down but his jaw’s still clenched. “Why can’t you just be happy for me? I know what she did better than anyone, believe me, but people are allowed a second chance, and frankly, it’s not your place to decide if she deserves it or not. All I was asking of you was to be decent towards her because I was stupid enough to think you’re my friend above everything and you’d respect my wishes!” he confesses, face crest-fallen and what you once feared, -him looking like this because of you-, has finally come true. You can feel your eyes watering but you can do nothing to stop them.

“I am your friend!” you respond desperately with pleading eyes, trying to stop him from questioning how much he means to you. If only he knew exactly how much.

“Are you really?”, he questions back, “Because the rest of the guys are my friends too and they don’t have a problem with her. It’s just you! And if you can’t accept her and be happy for me then…” he stops, eyes falling on the floor, refusing to meet your gaze and you have an awful feeling blooming in the pit of your stomach.

“...Then we’re better off as just roommates,” he delivers the final blow.

You can’t believe your ears. There’s no way, no way.

You feel your throat closing up. “...You don’t mean that…” you mumble in denial, eyes blurry and voice almost breaking at the possibility of losing your best friend.

Jimin still refuses to look at you, his lips pursed as he shakes his head. “Yeah? And you said you’ll support me no matter what so I guess we both said things we don’t mean.”

“Or I guess that was just you,” he says in a final tone, eyes serious this time on you before he turns towards your door to leave your bedroom. To leave your life.

You can’t breathe.

“Jimin-” you manage to stutter out although you feel like choking. You can’t lose him, you simply can’t.

“No, Y/N, you can’t just-!” he snaps back but stops himself before saying anything else, pressing his lips together.

Then he takes another breath. He collects himself and before you manage to stop him, he closes the door on his way out with a loud bang.

And you can’t move. Your eyes simply stare at the door, refusing to let any tear drop and you purse your lips, feeling a mixture of stubbornness and sorrow.

He left. How could he? How could he push you aside for her?! You’ve been friends for a little more than five years now and he ruins your friendship because of her?! Her?!

You rush to lock the door behind him with blurry eyes, putting the blame on him as for now you need this to stay sane.

Tomorrow you’ll know that everything was your fault.

But for now, you choose to believe otherwise.

You step back from your door, crossing your arms on your chest in defiance.

“If he doesn’t want to be friends then we won’t be!” you exclaim in an attempt to salvage your broken ego but once those words are out of your mouth, once they finally feel real, you can’t stop the tears from rolling down your cheeks.

You have to cover your mouth to drown the sound of your sobs.

You can’t let him hear.

At that moment there’s a knock on your door, before “Y/N? It’s Seokjin, can I come in?”

His voice is quiet, calm, reminding you that he and Hoseok probably heard everything. You can’t deal with it. You can’t deal with any of it.

“Go away, Seokjin…” you mumble with a low voice in order to hide the fact you’re crying.

You hear him sighing. “Come one, at least talk to me-”

“Go away!” your voice is coarse as you yell back, for a second not realising it was you. You know you're gonna regret yelling at him later, but you just want to be alone.

There’s silence on the other side. Then the echoing steps of someone leaving.

And then you break down in the middle of your room.

Alone.

The only sound coming from your quiet sobs.

.

.

{Jimin’s POV}

Keep it together. Don’t lose focus now just because she looks like she’s about to cry.

It’s easier said than done, but Jimin manages to remain focused on what he came here to do. Even if it’s just barely.

He can’t go on like this. Maybe if you were happy for him and actually supported him, things would be different. But when you act like a spoiled baby that didn’t get her wish with no excuse whatsoever when you were supposed to be okay with Dinah… there’s not much he can do.

Not when your behaviour acts as a false beacon of hope. One he can’t afford to see. Otherwise, he might do something he can’t take back.

He’s got to be firm and decisive.

So he turns around to leave before he takes it all back.

“Jimin-” he hears the breaking in your voice, knowing how much this may weigh you down but all he can feel right now is unfairness. It’s unfair how he wants to move on but with one single word he finds his resolve crumbling.

You shouldn’t affect him this much.

“No, Y/N, you can’t just-!” he begins but stops himself. What was he about to say? Something he shouldn’t, probably.

Still, you stop talking. And you just stare at him, with disbelief written in your eyes. He avoids those in favour of staying true to his words.

There’s no saying what he’ll do if he meets them.

So, he simply leaves your bedroom.

Marching through the small distance between your door and his, he can see Hoseok and Seokjin, from the corner of his eyes, staring.

They probably heard everything.

He steps into his bedroom, closing the door behind him, needing some space. To calm down, to take a breath, to finally think about what he just did.

You looked like you were ready to break down at any moment.

Maybe he shouldn’t have been that harsh with you. Maybe he was a bit too hasty, too vengeful in making that decision.

Someone knocks on his door.

What if it’s you?

His steps can’t take him to his door any faster.

But it’s just Hoseok.

“... what?” he hears himself get defensive once he sees your door still closed shut behind the other man.

Hoseok stares at him with understanding. “It doesn’t have to be like that, Jimin…” he comments with a soft voice, always knowing how to approach Jimin when he’s angry, better than anyone.

Jimin sighs, still feeling stubborn but he knows by the end of what Hoseok has to say, he’ll almost certainly listen.

“... Let’s talk about it okay? I’m sure Y/N wants that too…” at those words Jimin swears he feels a small pinch of pain on his chest. He wishes they’re true.

“Seokjin is also gonna talk to her…”

But those words manage to bring his stubbornness back full force.

There’s a chuckle coming out of Jimin but none of it sounds happy.

“Of course he will…” he snaps at Hoseok, who bites his lip once he realises his mistake. “Yeah, Hoseok, I think I’ll pass,” the bitterness is evident in his words, not bothering to hide it from the one person that knows the cause of it.

Hoseok’s eyes widen once he realises Jimin is about to close the door on him. “Wait, Jimin, don’t-”

“Goodnight,” is what Jimin simply says before closing the door on his best friend.

.

.

He can’t be sure when everything began to change. He can’t place a finger on the exact moment his feelings had changed.

On the exact moment, he fell in love with you.

Was it the moment you walked through the door as a roommate applicant? He can’t be sure. But somewhere along the way, the feelings bloomed, outgrew everything he ever felt for anyone.

He just was a bit late at realizing it.

When he woke up after you slept together and his eyes rested on you as you slept, he felt a pain in the middle of his chest. But it didn’t feel like a regular pain, it felt like his heart was expanding like he was experiencing growing pains. Because while he stared at you, he realised there was nothing else he’d rather do. You looked so serene, so at peace sleeping next to him, he never wanted the moment to end.

And that’s how he realised.

Of course, he had to push his newly-found knowledge aside when he saw you nearly going into panic mode. Just because he felt like this, didn’t mean you did too.

So he hid those feelings, playing it cool for the sake of being your friend.

But this shit was difficult when he was surrounded by you twenty-four-seven.

Right before Seokjin’s birthday he had sworn he’d finally tell you. He thought that maybe, just maybe you’d like him back, or at least he’d get to have a weight lifted off his chest.

But then he saw you hugging Seokjin…

He wasn’t trying to spy on you or anything. He was just trying to reach the bathroom when he saw you wrapping your arms around Seokjin. Around the guy you had a crush on for the past few years. It was like a stab to his stomach, even more so when he knew you weren’t really into hugs and when you did hug someone, it usually meant a lot to you.

Jimin couldn’t believe his eyes. He also couldn’t believe how much it hurt and how much he needed something to distract himself.

Or, rather, someone.

That’s how Dina came along.

He never intended to string her along this far though. At that night she was just a distraction, someone familiar who knew how to take care of him, despite everything that had transpired between them in the past.

But Dinah kept trying, kept fighting vigorously for that second chance and he couldn’t help but acknowledge how much she’d changed over the past year. So he let her back into his life, hoping that at least she’d help him forget about you.

And it worked for some time. Until that night.

Until the night you were supposed to go on a date with Seokjin and cancelled it because of him - he’s sure of it even if you vehemently denied it back then-. The night you were dressed on that tight, little, black dress, the one that reminded him of that night eight months ago and suddenly his mind was going haywire with thoughts, or rather, memories of you.

He swears he saw hunger in your eyes when his palm was on your thigh, scorching both of you at the connected spot and if it wasn’t for Hoseok’s interruption, he was sure he’d’ve lost control.

Jimin hates to admit it but that night he kept thinking of you, of your eyes, of your lips, of the way your thighs had fit around his waist back then, of the sound of his name falling from your lips as he touched himself, trying to drown his moans onto his pillow.

He couldn’t talk to you after that for a couple of days. Too ashamed, too embarrassed, too enamoured with you, he thought you’d be able to see right through him.

But once things got back to normal, they were ruined once more.

Dinah appeared at the worst of times at New Year’s. He was so close to letting you know how he feels, encouraged by your reaction when you ditched your date for him, which was another green light for him at the moment. But Dinah showed up and you were out of there before he even got a chance to explain.

Hoseok had found him then, drinking away his sorrows.

“And the worst of all is, she’s dating Seokjin, which I now realise makes me a big jerk and an awful friend as I keep trying to steal away his girlfriend,” Jimin mumbled before downing the rest of his drink.

Hoseok seemed perplexed but that might have been from the near-alcohol-poisoning he just had before Dr. Ana “nursed” him back to health. “And remind me, how are you sure she’s dating Seokjin? They haven’t told us anything yet…”

Jimin stared into his drink, already sort of tipsy on alcohol and self-pity. “Saw ‘em huggin’...” he mumbled behind the glass. Hoseok had to do a double-take at that.

“What?” Hoseok responded in disbelief. “That’s it? Dude, I do that with Seokjin all the time, that doesn’t mean I’m dating him!”

Jimin sighed in annoyance. “It was more than that okay? There was this feeling to it! I could tell it wasn’t just a simple hug!” Jimin groaned as he rubbed his face with his hand.

Hoseok rolled his eyes at his friend. “Still you can never be sure by just a hug! Have you talked to her?”

“No, I tried to but Dinah came in and she left as soon as she saw her…” Jimin admitted and Hoseok almost laughed out loud at his friend’s idiocy.

“Bro, if that isn’t a sign to talk to her, then I’m not dating the most bomb person in the whole ass world.”

Jimin wasn’t impressed as he cocked an eyebrow at his friend.

Hoseok wasn’t deterred. “I can see you have an objection here and it’s a complete disgrace to Ana’s name, so Imma pound you to logic city later, you limp dick, but right now you need to talk to Y/N!” he concluded as he shoved Jimin out of his stool.

Jimin groaned as he stood up, but as his eyes fell to the bottom of his drink, he realised Hoseok was right. He should’ve talked to you first. Maybe he had misunderstood and there was nothing going on with Seokjin.

And right then as he saw you bumping into Seokjin, he figured it was a great opportunity to find out what was happening between the two of you from both parties involved.

But as his steps got him closer and closer, he saw you kiss him.

He froze. He couldn’t look, couldn’t bear, but still, his eyes stayed glued to the both of you as your arms circled around his neck to press him closer.

Jimin felt like vomiting.

He turned around right then and there and walked away. He needed to get out of there. He gave Dinah a half-assed apology as he also sent her on her merry way and he left for his apartment. He couldn’t even tell Hoseok why he was leaving the party, only announcing his departure and disappearing.

It was the first time in years he spent New Year’s alone.

He hated it.

.

.

{Y/N’s POV}

You’ve done the worst sleep in ages.

You rub your eyes, immediately regretting it when the slightest touch has them stinging from how swollen they are from all the crying.

Right. It wasn’t just a dream.

You drag your feet begrudgingly across the floor to the bathroom to splurge some water on your face, in a futile attempt to calm down your puffy eyes. Before you’re off to the kitchen where Hoseok is currently eating his breakfast cereal.

Once he hears the sound of footsteps, he raises his head, only to see you awkwardly walk in the kitchen, eyes downcast as you go for the fridge.

“Hey,” you hear him say.

With your face facing the inside of the fridge you take a breath, letting the low temperature calm you down.

You knew it was coming. Hoseok definitely listened to everything along with Seokjin. And yet you don’t feel like replying.

Nonetheless, you turn around and acknowledge him with a tilt of your head as you move to have the coffee machine working.

“So… How you feeling?”

The question prompts a humourless chuckle out of you and Hoseok sighs in response.

“I know, that’s a lousy question. I just…” he takes a breath, eyes gentle on you, not at all judgemental as you’d expect them, after what you’ve done yesterday, “I mean I know Jimin’s side of the story, but I never heard yours…” he concludes, letting a soft smile take over his features.

Huh. Your side of the story.

You swallow the lump in your throat, but the words don’t come out. Instead, you resolve to looking down at the floor as your hands grab tightly at your empty cup.

Hoseok, sensing your hesitation, sighs resigned but he doesn’t push you on it.

A moment passes when both of you remain silent until your coffee is ready. You pour the liquid into your cup, almost moaning in relief you don’t have to stay here another second.

But before you get to leave Hoseok speaks up again.

“I know things may look like a mess right now but I’m sure this won’t be the case forever. Jimin… yeah, he’s mad but you're his best friend. He’s gonna change his mind soon…” Hoseok’s gentle words reach you and, oh god, how do you want to believe them.

You turn to look at him and see the hope written in his eyes.

You give him what might have resembled a smile if you weren’t feeling so beat-down.

“You didn’t see the way he looked at me Hobi…” you whisper and Hoseok’s face falls just a bit at how broken you sound.

“Things will change, I’m certain of it,” still he replies, eyes full of determination that make the slightest sliver of hope go through the cracks of your sorrow.

Right then another pair of footsteps echoes as Jimin walks into the kitchen.

His sudden arrival has you both freeze, eyes resting on the newcomer and while Hoseok keeps on looking at Jimin, you’re quick to avert your gaze, the lump in your throat growing.

A second passes where Jimin doesn’t move forward or backwards. Like he isn’t sure if you could be in the same room anymore after yesterday's events. Your heart pangs at the thought.

He coughs awkwardly.

“I didn’t know you were awake, I can come back later-” he begins softly, eyes avoiding yours as well, making the pain grow a little sharper.

“No, it’s okay, I was done anyway…” you interrupt him, hands gripping tightly at your steaming cup as if it is a life board.

And without another word, you’re out of the kitchen.

.

.

{Hoseok’s POV}

A week passes by and it seems there’s no hope for reconciliation on the horizon.

Both of you went the extra miles and rearranged your schedules to avoid each other as much as possible. Jimin spends nearly every night at Dinah’s, barely seeing the others and you spend days locked into your room under the pretence of writing, but really you’re just avoiding everyone.

The rest of the guys don’t know what to do anymore.

It’s a Friday afternoon when Hoseok is over at Ana’s place, the mood in his apartment too heavy to bear and he can’t bear this anymore.

“Babe, I’m back, they didn’t have any vinegar chips so I bought oregano instead. Can you imagine the disgrace?” he shouts as soon as he steps back into the apartment, after a small walk to the seven eleven down the street.

But instead of hearing his girlfriend’s welcoming back, he hears her sigh. Then he sees her walk around the corner from the kitchen with her phone pressed to her ear like she’s in a conference call.

“I still don’t understand why won’t you just tell him!” Ana speaks on the phone, sending a tired wave to her boyfriend who looks at her entirely confused.

Hoseok just takes his shoes off and plops himself on the couch, sensing Ana won’t be done with that phone call anytime soon.

There’s a silence from her side as she listens intently to what the other person is saying. Hoseok decides to open the bag of chips just to keep his hands occupied.

After a while, Ana talks again.

“But what if she doesn’t tell him?” she? First, she mentioned a “him” and now a “she”? Hoseok’s getting more confused by the second.

“And what about Jimin then? Doesn’t he deserve to know the truth?” her voice is stern, like a mother berating her child and a sound of understanding leaves Hoseok’s lips, as he concludes Ana is talking to you.

There’s a small silence from your side, indicating no response to Ana’s question and so she keeps talking.

“And I’m talking about the whole truth Y/N.”

Hoseok’s intrigued. What whole truth?

“I know I was the first person to be against telling him about your feelings but with how poorly you handled the situation, I don’t think you can possibly make anything worse!”

At that, Hoseok’s eyes blow wide open. Feelings?! What feelings?! 

He’s immediately up, approaching Ana with quick steps as she listens to your response. Your voice, even though muffled through the phone, sounds weaker, sadder. Disheartened.

Ana’s words are softer now. “But you’ll never be able to do this. You’ll never be ready but, the truth is, no one ever is. That’s kinda how it goes and that’s okay. But you gotta do it at some point, sooner or later,” she talks to you calmly, Hoseok sensing her sorrow at hearing you like this.

But he can’t shake the feeling that he can somehow help if he finds out what those feelings are.

Ana sighs tiredly as if what she just said didn’t have much of an impact. “Y/N-” but before she gets to respond you hang up.

Ana gasps while staring at her phone. “She just hung up on me, I can’t believe it, how dare?” she says to no one in particular as she rubs her hands on her face tiredly.

“Tough luck?” Hoseok comments wrapping his hands around her waist. Ana welcomes the embrace, her hands winding around his neck as she rests her head on his shoulder.

“She just won’t listen! She’s so infuriatingly stubborn and it’s driving me nuts!” she blows a stray hair out of her face, accidentally tickling Hoseok’s skin in the process and he chuckles.

“Kinda like you then?” he teases as he finally pushes that stray lock behind her ear and she pokes out her tongue at him in retaliation before falling into peaceful tranquillity.

Hoseok hates to disrupt this but he has to ask her what all of those things meant. For the sake of Jimin.

“Hey, babe…” he begins and Ana hums in acknowledgement.

“When you talked about Y/N’s feelings…” he feels her stiffen in his embrace but nonetheless he carries on, “... what did you mean?”

Ana takes a breath. “I guess there’s no point in not telling you now…” she speaks softly before taking another breath, one Hoseok holds until he hears her answer.

“Y/N… she likes Jimin. Well I mean that’s what she says anyway. I think it’s way more than that…” Ana admits sadly but Hoseok’s mind goes into overdrive.

“Are you serious…?” he asks in what can be perceived as a calm demeanour but in reality, his head is about to explode.

Ana chuckles calmly, still in Hoseok’s embrace. “I know right?”

Oh my god, they’re both idiots, he thinks. But he has to do something now.

“Oh god, those giant baboons!” he almost yells, making Ana flinch and take a step back to look at him perplexed.

“Hoseok…?”

He laughs incredulously as he takes a step back, trying to process the situation.

“For how long?” he asks and Ana looks more weirded out by the second.

“Two months, give or take?” Ana responds with narrowed eyes.

Hoseok chuckles. “That’s…” when Jimin started going out with Dinah, of course, it all makes sense!

“Seriously our friends are the worst idiots ever!” he complains once more.

“Okay, now do you mind telling me what’s going on?” she retaliates, getting irritated with her boyfriend and his tendency of not explaining anything for the dramatics.

“Jimin likes her back!” he shouts out loud, the magnificence of what he found out too overwhelming to bear.

Ana’s eyes widen. “What? How can that be? What about Dinah?”

Hoseok narrows his eyes at her. “He began dating her again after that one night stand that only happened because he saw Y/N hugging Seokj- Wait! What about Seokjin?”

Ana seems confused. “What about Seokjin?”

“Isn’t Y/N dating him?”

Ana almost bursts out in giggles. “What? No! Of course not! Why would you think that?”

“Cause of the hug!”

“So what, a simple hug means automatically they’re dating each other?”

“Well, we all know Y/N hates hugs, plus she had a crush on him so it would be believable- Wait, that’s not the point. So Y/N isn’t dating Seokjin?”

“Nope. Never did,” Ana concludes as both of them fall into the same realization.

“So Jimin did all that stuff…” Ana begins, not quite believing the absurdity of the situation.

“...Because he thought Seokjin was dating Y/N,” Hoseok admits tiredly.

“We gotta tell Jimin,” Ana grabs her phone to punch in his number before Hoseok stops her.

“Wait…” he stares at the phone, the cogs in his mind whirling before his eyes light up.

“I got a better idea.”

.

.

{Jimin’s POV}

Sweat still drips down his forehead as Jimin bids goodbye to his students, after the end of his contemporary class. He reaches for his water bottle and heads for the teachers’ lounge where his stuff is before he gets to his last class.

He wipes his forehead with the back of his hand before pressing the now lukewarm bottle on the nape of his neck, to get some sort of relief.

Once again, his focus wasn’t entirely on the class. It has been like that ever since your fight, but at least it started getting better as time passed. Still not at its best though.

He finds himself feeling guilty more than he thought he would. Guilty towards you, towards Dinah. It’s a mess.

Admittedly, he was really mad at you but as he got to think it over, he realised he acted too rashly in cutting you off. And he misses you already.

But the thing is… you haven't made a move to reconcile either. That could be because you’re afraid of him pushing you away again. But shouldn't you make the first step? If you did, Jimin is sure he would forgive you on the spot.

He shakes his head tiredly as he enters the teachers’ lounge and reaches for his backpack. Everything’s a mess.

And then there’s Dinah. Dinah who’s changed, who’s kind and understanding. Dinah who he strings along and who’s possibly already aware of Jimin’s use of her as a distraction. They both know that, even though Dinah’s changed and everything’s seemingly fine, the relationship is doomed this time around as well.

Although this time it’s Jimin’s fault.

He needs to come clean to her. He has to end this.

Right then his phone begins ringing.

Once he sees the contact name, he’s a little less willing to answer it.

“What do you want?” is his response once he picks up and there’s an awkward chuckle at the other end before the caller finally replies.

“Whoa, okay, forward, can’t you buy me a drink first, champ?” Seokjin tries to make the tension disappear unsuccessfully, resulting in Jimin not even answering that particular quip.

He hears Seokjin sigh on the other side, before “Anyway, can’t I just call my friend to see how he’s doing? It’s been a while since the last time we talked…” the other man admits cautiously and Jimin’s defensiveness slowly ebbs away to give place to additional guilt. He’s the one blowing off all his friends because he wants space. Or more precisely, he thinks, because he’s a coward, too afraid to really deal with the situation, so instead picking the easy way out, at the expense of his friends.

He rubs his face with his hands, before letting out a breath. “Yeah, I know, things have been kind of…” Jimin trails off but Seokjin hums, as if he understands what Jimin means without him having to say it out loud.

“Yeah…” Seokjin agrees quietly and Jimin feels more horrible as time goes by. When did he begin to feel such animosity towards his friend? They used to be really close ever since they worked together at the same shift, and now Jimin can barely be in the same room as him. It’s not Seokjin’s fault in any way and the truth is Jimin’s animosity arises not towards Seokjin but more towards himself.

He has stuff he needs to work on.

“Actually, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about…” comes Seokjin’s response that has Jimin sitting up straight in his seat, terrified of what his friend wants to talk to him about.

And it seems his fears were not unjustified.

“How long have you liked Y/N?”

There it is.

Jimin takes a breath, panic trying to take over him but he wills it to go away and answer his friend. Even if he’s terrified to do so.

“I…” he begins, audible shakiness colouring his voice, “... how do you know?”

Seokjin doesn’t hesitate to answer. “Hoseok told me…”

Jimin takes another breath, one full of guilt.

“Look, I… I’m sorry, I didn't mean for it to happen, it just did! And I know it’s awful of me to have done this but, yeah, for some time I had thought of acting on it. But now that I know for certain you’re together, I wouldn’t even dream of-”

“First of all, Y/N and I are not together.” Seokjin interrupts the babbling idiot and Jimin stops mid-sentence.

He blinks, uncertain. “I… what?”

Seokjin sighs with a chuckle. “Y/N and I aren’t dating,” he repeats.

Jimin opens his mouth like a fish, in complete and utter shock. “But… but I saw you…” he states full of doubt, almost like a question.

He can almost hear Seokjin raising his eyebrow. “You saw us doing what?”

The lump in his throat doesn’t make this any easier. “I saw you kissing a-a-aand-and hugging!” he retaliates, trying to support his reasoning.

Seokjin sighs once more, the gesture coming off him naturally by now. “Okay, she kissed me because she wanted to avoid a dude she ghosted, I had little to no say in this!” Seokjin responds in a typical Seokjin fashion.

But Jimin has more questions. “A dude she ghosted?”

“Yeah, she was supposed to go on a date with this guy in my restaurant but blew him off for some reason…”

Wait.

“When was this?” Jimin asks, eager but nervous to find out the answer.

“A couple of days before Christmas.”

So that wasn’t a date with Seokjin but just a rando?

God, Jimin has fucked up big time.

“And what about the hug?” he asks for the last time, to make sure he resolves any misunderstanding.

“What hug? Oh, you mean on my birthday? Dude, that was just her coming clean about her past crush on me and us moving past this like a couple of adults.”

Jimin’s throat constricts uncomfortably but in unbelievable hope. “Past crush?”

Seokjin’s smile is nearly audible. “Yeah, “past”. Know why? Because she has feelings for someone else.”

And just as easily as Seokjin has given him hope, he just as easily rips it away.

“Oh…?” Jimin barely manages to utter, voice almost breaking alongside his heart. “Who?”

Seokjin groans on the other side, taking Jimin wholly by surprise by the irritated tone in the older man’s voice. “Oh my god, you really are both idiots,” he says almost to himself, “You, you soggy tit! Do you really think she did all that to Dinah simply because she didn’t like her? No, she was fucking jealous!” Seokjin concludes, voice rushed and angry to berate his friend and finally put an end to this huge mess.

But Jimin hears only one word.

You.

She has feelings for you.

The girl he’s been in love with for nearly a year now, if not more, has feelings for him. Reciprocated feelings.

Is this real? Is this a fucking dream from which he’ll wake up in the morning, feeling shittier than ever?

But Seokjin said she was jealous. Jealous.

“She- She was? Seokjin, just…” he stops himself to take a calming breath, refusing to believe this just yet, “Please, don’t joke about this, I’m not gonna laugh,” he warns his friend. He can’t bear to have his heart messed with any more than it already has been.

“Does it sound like I’m joking? Believe me, I wouldn’t, we’re all too invested in your shit, it’s not healthy.”

Jimin can’t believe this. He wants to, desperately, but what if it’s not real? What then?

“I…” he swallows his nerves, “She really has feelings for me?” he asks, not unlike a hopeful child. God, his heart is about to burst.

“Yeah, buddy, I know it’s hard to believe when I exist!” Seokjin tries to lighten up the mood with a joke.

Jimin doesn’t laugh.

“...Too soon? Sorry, anyway, I thought you should also know Y/N really feels awful for everything and if there’s one thing that can confirm that, is the fact she apologized to Dinah,” Seokjin concludes carefully.

Jimin doesn’t know how to respond.

“But if you don’t believe me… Ask Y/N herself.”

But he knows what to do.

.

.

{Y/N’s POV}

You’re washing the dishes, alone at home for another hour at the very least as Jimin’s classes end in one hour.

Should you go to Ana’s? Ugh, but Hoseok is there.

Maybe you should just hole yourself up in your room for the scarce time Jimin will be here before he’s off to Dinah’s.

Which reminds you of earlier today.

In Dinah’s defence, she handled your apology quite gracefully, in contrast with you. You were a babbling mess, trying to put your thoughts into place and at first, she was suspicious of you, but once your visit made sense, she seemed to understand. Something even you couldn’t at times.

She accepted your apology with a calm smile, confusing you even more as she said she appreciated your effort to put all of this behind you.

You were glad she seemed to not hold it against you although, honestly… you don’t think you deserve it.

You have no idea if she’s planning on telling Jimin or not and quite frankly you’re terrified of what he’ll say if he finds out.

Once you’re done with the dishes and close the tap, you hear the front door open and close, assuming it’s Hoseok back from Ana’s.

“Hobi, is that you?” you ask before turning around, only to almost choke on your own breath when you see Jimin instead.

He’s standing just in front of the door, not going forwards or backwards, as his eyes stare at you. Serious, careful but calm. No anger residing in them. Just awkwardness as he seems to not know what to do with himself, as he simply rests in place and somehow a tiny drop of hope begins to bloom.

“I… Don’t you have classes?” is the first thing you manage to get out of your mouth and he takes a breath.

“I had to get out early…” he responds and you can’t help but focus on the “had to”. Did Dinah talk to him after all?

“...Why?” is your careful question, when in reality your mind is in a state of disarray. Is this a good sign? A bad one? Is he here to restore your friendship to what it used to be or finally cut ties with you and move out?

Your mind is gonna short-circuit.

“I…” he begins, eyes falling to the floor. Then he takes another breath. “I had to talk to you,” he says.

Oh god. This is it. You’re done.

Your throat closes up as you blink quickly trying to stop your eyes from welling up. Damnit, you already cried so much about this, you shouldn’t have any more tears left!

He takes a tentative step forward, eyes finding yours once again. But they look… soft, tender. Apologetic.

“I… I’m sorry. For the way I acted,” he breathes out and your eyes widen, having to do a double-take to make sure you heard right. “I was too harsh on you, basically taking out my nerves on you and even though what you did was awful, I shouldn’t have taken such drastic measures. I took it too far by saying we shouldn’t be friends and I’d like to take it back if you want to…” he concludes, observing you cautiously.

You’re left staring at him like a deer caught in headlights. Is he serious? Did he just apologize to you like he was the one at fault?

“Jimin, oh my god, you shouldn’t have to apologize, I should!” you rush to say, instinctively grabbing his hands to soothe him, completely missing the taken aback turned loving look in his eyes.

“I acted way out of line and truth be told I think I needed that as a wake-up call. You were right, what kind of friend am I if I don’t try to get along with the girl you’re dating?” you continue, too self-conscious to be able to look Jimin in the eye, instead staring at your joined hands with a new kind joy.

You got your best friend back. And if keeping him means you have to bury your feelings for him, then you’ll do it. For real this time. Whatever it takes to not lose him again.

Jimin chuckles in response. “Used to date,” he corrects you.

This time though you can’t help it when your eyes snap back at him. “What? What do you mean?”

Where you expected to be a sorrowful expression, there is none. Instead, Jimin is looking at you with a soft smile, a serene one, one that matches the peace in his eyes. “We broke up,” he says and you can’t find the proper words to react to this.

“Oh… H-how so?” you say instead, unwillingly holding your breath.

Jimin’s eyes rest on your face for a moment, that damned smile still gracing his lips, before his eyes fall to your hands. “I guess you helped me realise some things with what you did,” is his cryptic response.

But before you get to question his answer his eyes turn stern, with a note of mischief hiding in their corners. “That does not mean what you did was okay, though,” he says, pointing his finger at you like a teacher disciplining a child and you chuckle at his attempt of lightening up the mood.

“Believe me, I know. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself…” you respond, rubbing a hand awkwardly at the base of your neck, still awfully aware of your other hand still connected to Jimin’s.

“Well…” he says quietly, his eyes on your joined hands, “Good thing I did then…” he mutters, his thumb running over the back of your palm soothingly and once your eyes meet his, you know you’ll be okay.

.

.

After that talk with Jimin, -that ended with the both of you watching Space Jam and cuddling to sleep-, everything is once again back to normal. The past week has been amazing compared to the one before it. You find yourself smiling all the time as your friendship with Jimin is back to its prime, laughter and joy returning to your shared apartment.

Your group returns back to its routine, hanging out together in front of the TV, roasting Hoseok for his abundant sexual energy, you know, the usual.

And yet you feel like something’s changed. More particularly, with Jimin.

You catch his eyes on you more than once, more than what could be considered normal but ever since you made up the two of you haven’t been left alone once. The guys are always around and, really, it’s not like you don’t want them to be but there’s always something hanging from Jimin’s mouth, something he wants to say but never does due to their presence. It’s slightly unnerving, reminding you of that night outside your bedrooms when he wanted to say something but didn't.

You can’t tell if it’s good or bad. All you know is suddenly your knees shake when he looks at you for too long and you have goosebumps whenever his skin touches yours.

So that’s why tonight you chose to sit on the lone armchair as he sits next to Hoseok on the big couch and Ana is placed next to Seokjin on the small one.

Somehow the conversation managed to go on that New Year’s party and Seokjin ended up spilling about your kiss.

“You said “we take this to the grave”!” you respond with a low voice, trying to mimic him unsuccessfully as Ana and Hoseok stare at you with eyes wide as saucers. Jimin, for some reason, looks unresponsive to the news yet he laughs at your bad impression of Seokjin.

Seokjin at least has the decency to look guilty as Ana’s scandalized eyes turn to you. “You kissed?!”

You raise your hands in defence, for some reason avoiding to look over at Jimin. “I didn’t do it on purpose! Well… I kinda did but not with the motive you’d assume,” you rush to explain, though Ana is less than satisfied.

“Oh then with what motive? Please amuse me, hoe,” she responds, crossing her hands on her chest and you huff out in annoyance.

Seokjin answers her. “Well, obviously, she wanted a piece of all that. I’m pretty irresistible to all humankind,” he jokes lightly and you suppress a snort.

“Yeah, no, this ain’t it, chief,” you rush to say, suddenly nervous, not wanting anyone to think you’re still into Seokjin.

Actually, replace “anyone” with just “Jimin”.

Seokjin gasps in offence. “What in the world do you even mean?! You’re lucky I kissed you and not just because you got rid of that dude! I’m a pretty good kisser, no scratch that, I’m an excellent kisser, a connoisseur of kissing if you will!”

“I think I won’t be able to kiss anyone after that…” Hoseok responds which makes Seokjin gasp once more before he looks over at you.

“Y/N, tell them the truth. How my kissing is so utterly magnificent, it could end world hunger!” he says before actually hearing what he just said then deciding against it, “Nope, can’t do that, sorry, that’s on me.”

You chuckle at his antics, although a bit reluctant to actually reveal the truth.

“Actually…” you start.

Another gasp resonates. “Don’t “actually” me! Just tell them!”

You turn to the other guys with a roll of your eyes.

“Look, it’s not like you were a bad kisser per se. It’s just that it was a bit… lackluster?” you finish, almost afraid to see Seokjin’s reaction to the reveal.

Jimin suppresses a chuckle, Hoseok oohs from the side and Ana’s eyes widen in surprise.

Seokjin looks at you with disbelief.

“Lackluster?”

You rush to make amends. “I mean it’s okay given I took you by surprise, but due to that crush I used to have on you, I had this notion of a kiss full of passion. And that one just… didn’t have it.” 

Seokjin pouts angrily at you before crossing his arms on his chest as Ana pats his shoulder soothingly. “I can’t believe you just said my kiss didn’t have any passion.”

You shrug. “Well, it didn’t,” you say as a matter of a fact before Ana jumps into the conversation.

“It’s probably a good thing your kiss didn’t have any passion, it just means your friends. No chemistry there so don’t beat yourself up too much, champ,” she says with an affectionate pinch on Seokjin’s cheek, who ponders on her input.

“Yeah, Ana is right!” you rush to agree. “It’s because we’re just friends! When you find someone you really like, believe me, it’ll be nothing like that,” you go off track a bit as certain memories reappear. “It’ll be full of passion and yearning and not getting enough of each other, you’re not sure if you can go on without kissing them!”

And somehow by the end of that, your eyes fall on Jimin’s and stay there.

Because he stares back.

“Okay, I think we heard enough about Seokjin’s kissing techniques,” Ana comments, breaking the spell and your eyes fall to your lap, fire residing in your cheeks.

“I just have one last comment on what I think Seokjin could’ve used but didn’t cause he’s a wuss,” Hoseok jumps in.

“Tongue.”

A round of gagging noises is heard around the apartment.

.

.

The hours pass by smoothly and soon everyone’s getting sleepy. Seokjin leaves early, having to go to the restaurant first thing in the morning, leaving the rest of you to clean up.

Once again Jimin picks up the trash with Ana as Hoseok helps you do the dishes. The apartment falls into a comfortable silence with the occasional chatter between the four of you while you clean up. Hoseok is to sleepover at Ana’s so when you’re all done the couple bids you goodbye, heading to Ana’s apartment.

Leaving you and Jimin totally alone.

Which is something that shouldn’t scare you but for some reason your nerves are going through the roof.

“Are you done with the kitchen?” Jimin asks from the living room, where he’s rearranging the pillows on the couch.

“Yeap! Just finished!” you call back, your voice a bit higher than usual and you cringe internally before clearing your throat.

“Good, I’m going to bed then,” he responds as you walk out of the kitchen.

“I’ll walk with you,” you respond with a smile, following him into the corridor.

You walk in comfortable silence, but still, you find yourself getting nervous as you walk side by side. It doesn’t make any sense.

Once you reach your bedrooms, both of you turn around to face each other, seemingly unwilling to depart just yet. Jimin looks at you with a soft smile as you grab at the opportunity to talk to him.

“Jimin, I just… I’m really happy we got past that and again I’m sorry for the trouble I’ve caused,” you say in what seems like the hundredth apology this week.

Jimin’s smile grows fonder as he shakes his head gently. “I told you, you should stop apologizing, I’m no longer mad at you,” is his quiet reply as he tilts his head, his eyes staring at you in a way it makes your heart race.

“I know I just… That week we spent not talking to each other was the worst week of my life and I…” you pause searching for the right words, but no words could ever describe the magnificence of what you’re feeling right now, the desperation of wanting to have him in your life. So you simply stare at him, out of breath, hoping he gets it.

His smile is one of the best things you’ve ever seen and you know he does.

You smile back. “Anyway, I’ve gotten too sentimental…” you chuckle, clearing your voice to sound more collected.

Jimin giggles softly. “Happens to the best of us…” he responds gently and you have to remind yourself to not stare. Even if he does and it makes you feel out of breath.

You nod with a smile. “Well…” you respond nervously, yearning for the moment you’re alone in your room, free of all this tension. “Goodnight,” you say simply, turning around to get to your door.

But a hand wraps itself around your wrist, turning you around suddenly. Your hands naturally fall to Jimin’s chest as his palms wrap around your waist and hair as his lips fall fervently on yours.

Your mind goes into overdrive and you can only kiss him back.

His plump lips wrap around your own softly but with an intense sense of urgency, a soft gasp falling from your lips as your hands are quick into grabbing his shirt to pull him unbelievably closer. You respond with just as much hunger, letting your mouth move fervently against his own, pushing more and more against him, aiding his hand that’s tangled in your hair, gripping the locks as if he can’t get enough. Then both of his palms are on the small of your back, holding you close as if fearing you’ll leave. But you never do and that makes him press more against you until your back hits the wall next to your door.

The impact makes Jimin lean back just enough to stop the kiss, but his eyes still remain glued to the image of your swollen lips, as you almost lean after his own.

Your heavy breaths mingle in the otherwise quiet corridor, his hands still on your waist, yours still on his open shirt as you try to wrap your mind around what just happened.

“Did you mean something like that?” comes out his gruff, deep voice that sends a shiver down your spine.

His question brings you back to the earlier conversation about a perfect kiss and you can’t control your breathing any more than your beating heart.

You nod quickly, eyes still on his lips. “Yes,” is your breathless answer.

Jimin’s still breathing heavily as his eyes land once again on your lips.

“Good.”

And then he’s kissing you again.

And, fuck, you can’t get enough.

Your palms land on his neck as you stand on your toes to reach him better and his hands wrap around your waist to keep you in place.

Fuck, you’re kissing him. You’re kissing him and he’s kissing you back. As if he’s a man starved of your kiss and he needs anything you can give him.

But then he stops again and you almost groan out loud.

“You need to stop doing that…” you exhale with an affected chuckle and he chuckles as well.

“I just… I need to talk to you before anything else happens….” he whispers and even though you know he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, you can’t help but feel a pang of fear in your chest.

“I…” he says, eyes dazedly looking at your face before he takes an encouraging breath.

“I want you to know that this isn’t like last time. It’s more, it means more, I-” he stops once more, voice trembling as he refuses to look anywhere else but you.

His words give you hope but for the first time in weeks, you welcome that hope. You welcome that glorious feeling to settle deep in your chest because you recognize that warm glint deep in his eyes.

“I’m in love with you,” he reveals and you swear your heart will burst. There’s moisture in your eyes but you will it to go away.

“You are…?” you ask with a small voice and Jimin smiles at you, all happiness and comfort. There’s a fuzzy feeling in the middle of your chest and at this moment nothing makes any more sense than you two.

“Yes. And I spent the past year trying to run from it…” he admits carefully as he slightly crouches down to meet your eyes.

“I’m not running anymore…” he concludes, a spark in his eyes and you’ve never seen him more sure for anything in his life.

There’s a whirlwind of emotions in you. Relief, hope, undeniable joy. It makes your throat close and for a few seconds, you can’t answer him. You only stare back and hope he understands like so many times before.

“I-” you manage to choke out with a weak voice but he’s quick to shush you, before kissing the inside of your palm.

“I know…” he responds softly, still holding onto your palm as his eyes find yours. You can’t look away, couldn’t if you wanted to.

And then you can’t stop smiling, and he’s smiling back and before you know it you’re kissing again.

Happiness rolls like a current between, from all the places your bodies touch, you can’t contain it so you keep on kissing fervidly, hands touching whenever they can, mouths moving in tandem like it’s natural. Like it’s the way it’s supposed to be.

“God, I have so much I want to tell you…” he whispers against your lips before he’s diving back in, tongue reaching out to meet yours.

“Me too…” you reply after a few seconds, pushing him closer as your fingers tangle in his hair. “But not now…” you whisper sternly, pushing your chest against him, needing to feel more of him.

He curses under his breath, the sound sinful, licking his lips before he’s kissing you again and his hands fall lower down your back to rest over the swell of your ass.

You moan in appreciation when his hands grab at the tender flesh, making you arch out so he has better leverage. There’s a throbbing between your legs and you resist grinding on him just yet, to drag it out as long as you can.

Jimin’s lips move down the column of your throat as his body cages you against the wall, hands keeping your hips still as he wedges one leg between yours, so his thigh can press upright against your mound.

You moan again when he leaves a particularly deep hickey on your skin and your hips instinctively roll against his thigh, your hands holding on to his back afraid you might fall.

He chuckles darkly against your skin. “Still into thighs I see…” he mumbles before biting softly at your earlobe, a shiver running down your spine.

You bite your lip before, “Correction, still into your thighs…” you admit as you roll your hips slowly on top of his thigh, starting to feel that delicious warmth building up in your stomach, making you feel dizzy.

Jimin almost bucks into you with a low moan, as his hands are certain to leave marks on your hips as he struggles to remain sane.

“Fuck… Although I’m really tempted to just fuck you here, we should probably move…” he murmurs between kisses to your collarbone and you have half a sane mind to agree. The other half is already picturing him doing it either way.

But before you get to move, his arms are quicker, lunging under your thighs and you instinctively wrap them around his waist with a surprised yelp. His palms are resting right on top of your ass, subconsciously pushing you closer, making your insides burn in anticipation.

There’s a smirk on his lips as he licks them, eyes roaming your face to make sure you don’t have second doubts. Although your eyes are glued to the movement of his wet tongue.

When he realises this, he’s quick to move towards his room as you choose now as the perfect moment to lick and suck bruises on his neck, not able to deny yourself any longer.

“Shit… Y/N, if you keep this up I’m gonna drop you…” he mumbles with a stern but clearly-affected voice and you smile in victory before softly biting at his skin, savouring his taste on your tongue.

He kicks his door open before he carefully lays you on his bed, lips immediately after your own as you reach for his neck to desperately press more of him against you.

Your palms move down his chest, grabbing the edges of his flannel to push it off his shoulders, leaving him in his T-shirt and jeans.

“Why are you wearing so many clothes…?” you ask breathlessly, immediately reconnecting your lips like a woman starved and Jimin chuckles, grabbing the hem of your T-shirt instead and pushing it upwards. You sigh in relief as soon as your heated skin is free, yearning to feel more of his skin against yours.

“Just trying to keep myself warm,” he comments rushedly as he discards the piece of clothing somewhere behind him and his eyes fall to your covered breasts. He curses, lowering his face to kiss down your collarbones until his lips reach the bare top of your tits. His mouth leaves a wet trail behind that’s making you gasp as your thighs rub together to gain some relief.

Jimin notices and chuckles darkly before biting your bottom lip. “You want any help there?” he teases and you groan out loud with a pout.

“Yes, but please take your clothes off a little bit faster. It’s making my dick soft,” you whine, bucking your hips towards him.

He pins them down between his own legs, forcing them to stay still. His fingers toy with the waistband of your leggings as your breaths turn heavier while only looking at his eyes.

“Aw, so I won’t have my ass rawed by your dick? Such a shame baby…” he teases once more with a sinful smirk and the last word has your eyes rolling back into your head.

“Fuck, say that again…” you murmur, arching your chest upwards as you feel moisture gather between your legs, just by the single mention of a nickname.

Jimin laughs out loud as he moves to get your leggings off and you’re quick to aid him. “Is this really what turns you on?” he comments playfully as he leans in, lips kissing the underside of your jaw.

“No, I meant…” you stop, suddenly self-conscious, “... the other part…” you mumble quietly, turning your face to the side, knowing a deep red has taken over your cheeks. It’s not simply about the nickname or the tenderness in his voice as he said it. It’s about what it represents, what you already heard from his lips but you simply can’t have enough of. It makes everything real.

Jimin regards you for a second before, “What? Baby?” he asks, rather innocently and yet you still can’t look at him, too embarrassed as you nod.

Jimin’s eyes turn softer as he bites his lip to contain his smile. Fuck, he’s so in love.

He moves to press a tender kiss to your jaw. “Baby,” he repeats slowly, before resting his lips on your collarbones and you sigh in content. “Baby…” he says again, leaving a kiss in the valley between your breasts, making your breath hitch. “Baby…” he moves lower, dragging his plump lips down your torso as your breaths quicken, the sound of the nickname having your heart making somersaults.

“Baby…” he whispers lowly one last time, the tone completely different, darker, more promising. His eyes rest on you as his face now lays above your panties. Then his hands are hooking behind the waistband, dragging the material down your legs and he bites his lips at the sight of your glistening folds.

“God, I wanna taste you so bad…” he says almost to himself and before you get to react, he hooks your legs on top of his shoulders and his tongue lands with kittenish licks on your clit.

An involuntary groan escapes you, bucking your hips into his mouth for more. And yet he maintains his pace, sending waves of pleasure up your body but never enough to get you where you want to. You can’t help the movement of your hips as you crave for more friction, his movements delicious but never enough. Jimin pins your hips down, tsking you before he presses a kiss at the junction between your thigh and cunt.

“You’ll get what you want, baby, all in due time…” he says sternly, his voice low, sending shivers down your spine as his mouth returns to your clit, and you bite your lip to drown your moan.

Though now, he leaves aside the kittenish lick to wrap his mouth around the swollen nub and suck it between his lips.

A loud moan breaks free from your lips, heavy pants resonating as his plush lips envelop your clit, finally giving you more, moving expertly against your folds and your hands find purchase on Jimin’s locks to press him more against you.

He lets you do as you please while one of his hands travels up your torso, pushing your bra’s cups down to toy with one of your nipples.

The added pleasure has you cry his name in ecstasy, losing all control of your hips as they move against Jimin’s face, as if they have a mind of their own, chasing after your high like a madwoman.

And as one hand tugs at your erect nipples, the other finds this chance to move down your body and trace around your entrance, making your pussy clench in anticipation. Before finally pushing two digits inside your velvety walls.

“Jimin!” you almost sob, your hips furiously chasing after your high as you feel the warmth building up more and more inside your stomach. 

His fingers keep thrusting inside you, slowly at first to let you get used to the intrusion, before he picks up the pace, moving them quickly, roughly inside you. Knuckles deep as his fingertips find that little soft spot inside your walls that has your eyes roll to the back of your head.

And when you open your eyes and see Jimin staring you back with darkness and lust in his own from between your legs, the band snaps.

You come with a loud moan, riding your orgasm against Jimin’s tongue, as the pleasure seems too much, too intense. But then the feeling starts to fade away and Jimin lets you relax as he leaves butterfly kisses against your thighs.

You try to catch your breath as Jimin’s kisses move upwards, up your stomach, to your breasts until he’s kissing you again. Your hands move to wrap around his neck, never having quite enough of him.

“This is not fair, you know…” you chastise him playfully, kissing his underjaw when a quiet moan rolls from his tongue.

“What’s not fair?” he asks, trying to keep up with the conversation but judging by the way his hip rut against you, you know he’s struggling.

“The fact I’m completely naked while you still have your clothes on…” you observe with a cock of your eyebrow and a smirk grazes his lips as his finger tugs at the elastic of your bra and lets it snap against your skin.

“Ah but you’re not completely naked…” he teases against your lips as his fingers move down your body in a sensual caress.

But being you, you take that as a challenge. So you push him slightly away just so you can move your hands behind your back and unclasp your bra with one movement.

Jimin’s eyes go wide as you flick the undergarment across the room, swallowing heavily before his eyes return to your bare chest.

“Now I am…” is your witty retort as you subtly arch your back just so he can have a better view. He stands there staring at you for a few seconds before he curses and moves quickly to get rid of his clothes.

You giggle at his impatience when he ends up stuck in his T-shirt, sporting an adorable pout. “Easy, baby, I’m not going anywhere…” you joke, sitting up to help him take off his t-shirt with a soft smile, one he reciprocates as he moves to unbuckle his pants.

“Well, it wasn’t me getting too impatient to- Wait…” he stops mid-sentence after taking his pants off. A spark of realization has entered his eyes before he turns to you to meet you with a teasing smile.

“Did you just call me baby?”

Your eyes widen in shock as a blush creeps into your cheeks and with a scoff you lightly shove him for daring to make fun of you.

“Y-you said it first, genius!” you try to justify yourself with a frown, but Jimin’s smirk only grows as he pushes aside his pants and crawls towards you.

“Yeah, but I’m not the one that spent more than half her life refusing to call her partners that because it’s cheesy…” he comments playfully as he traps you beneath his body once more.

“Even if the rule never applied to her…” he smiles teasingly at you, brushing his lips softly against your pout, reminding you that even if you never called your partners “baby”, you never stopped them from calling you that.

You purse your lips together as you look at your fidgeting hands, too embarrassed to look him in the eye. “Well…” you begin, swallowing the lump in your throat, “...you’re different…” you mumble quietly, not really ready to look at him even if you know he feels the same.

That has him halting, and as he sees you too uncomfortable to go on, he doesn’t say anything else. He presses a soft kiss to your knee instead, wishing to convey everything he feels as well through that small kiss.

The movement of his lips on your skin is so tender that has your heart flutter and, while he looks back at you, his smile puts your embarrassment to rest. Because he’s here for you because he feels the same.

“I know it comes a little late but… Can I kiss you?” he asks softly, eyes stuck on your face, tracing your features as if he hasn’t really seen you before, not until now.

The question has your heartbeat quicken even though it’s completely unnecessary. Though your lips stretch out in a smile as you nod.

Jimin leans closer, eyes on your lips as if he’s under some spell. You suppose it’s the same you’re under.

You let his lips envelop yours gently, hands tangling in his hair as you both find yourselves moving back until you’re lying down with Jimin on top of you.

Your hands are greedy to explore his body, even though you’ve done so before. Though that time you’re main motive was to get off, so now gives you the perfect opportunity to get reacquainted with his body, to map out every little detail to memory, until he’s the only thing you see.

His lips move lower to kiss and bite at the column of your throat, eliciting the sweetest moan from your lips that sound like music to Jimin’s ears.

Your breaths get quicker, hands moving recklessly to get rid of the remaining piece of fabric that separates you. Jimin rushes to help you, throwing away his boxers, now standing in his complete naked glory.

There’s nothing else to say, not really when a single look can convey everything you feel without unnecessary words. And the way Jimin looks at you right now makes you feel like you’re in heaven. Like you’re cared for, safe and content right here in his arms.

His hand brushes a lock behind your ear and the motion is so tender, loving, it makes your heart skip a beat.

“Are you ready?” he whispers softly, eyes gentle, ready to back off if you say so, reminding you of yet another reason you’re so helplessly in love with him.

You simply nod, too afraid to talk but your smile is all it takes for Jimin to go forward.

He grabs the base of his shaft, eyes glued at that spot between your legs with anticipation. He moves forward, guiding his tip through your folds, going slowly in case it’s painful but the look of pure bliss on your face and the way your walls welcome his cock has him losing control and going the rest of the way in with a deep thrust.

Your nails claw into the skin of his back with a loud cry while Jimin breathes deeply against the skin of your neck, making goosebumps rise on your skin.

“Fuck, I-...” he exhales, lost in the feeling of your pussy wrapping around him like a grip. “... You okay?” he says breathless, eyes searching yours for anything that’s not okay.

A breathless chuckle escapes you as you press your lips on his jawline. “More than okay. But please move.”

“Oh, thank god….” he mumbles before pulling out and thrusting in again. His movements are slow, yet the perfect pace to help you build up slowly but surely towards a second high.

Jimin rolls his hips with the expertise only a dancer could possess, driving his cock deeper and deeper with each roll, hitting that spot again and you can’t help but close your eyes to savour this feeling.

Shallow breaths leave you as his pubic bone brushes against your clit with each motion, driving you crazy.

“Ugh, you feel… mm’ so good…” he mumbles between thrusts, letting his lips land on your breasts, to suck lovebites on your skin.

“Jimin, fuck…!” you cry out, high-pitched moans escaping you as your hands go to his ass, coaxing him to drive his cock even deeper.

He growls from above your chest before you feel his palm cupping your cheek. “Open your eyes for me, love…” he mumbles quietly and you have no choice but to comply.

Opening your eyes, you’re met with Jimin’s piercing ones, staring at you intensely, burning with unspoken feelings that are too easy to recognize. After all, you feel them too.

You move to the side to kiss the inside of his palm before you smile at him.

He smiles back fondly at you before his hands move to lace his fingers with yours at each side.

“Keep your eyes on me, love…” he whispers before moving again.

This time around, his pace is slightly quicker, his cock hitting your sweet spot with renewed vigour and yet you can only concentrate on his eyes. His eyes that stare at you with such fondness and love it makes your eyes water.

You see the frown on his face before he stops moving in concern, yet you push your heels on his ass to keep him going.

“No, it’s okay, I’m okay, keep going…” you say, almost choking with the emotions overwhelming you. “It’s just that… I can’t believe I’m so lucky…” you admit softly, an unbelievable chuckle escaping you as you stare at him with what you hope he sees as undeniable adoration.

He smiles at you again, -you think you’ll never get tired of that smile-, before he leans in to kiss away the stray tear that flowed free from your eyes.

He picks up the pace once more, resting his forehead on top of yours, as shallow moans roll off your tongue. Your high keeps approaching, you can feel it and still you’re only focused on his eyes. Soft grunts escape him as he drives his hips into you, getting closer to his high as well, his hands grasping yours as if they’re a lifeboat.

He brushes his lips gently against yours before “I love you…” he mutters against you and you think your heart is gonna burst.

You press another kiss on his lips before, “I love you too.”

And then you don’t say anything else as your high approaches and after a few more thrusts you both come entangled in one another, each other’s names on your lips.

You lay like this for a few moments, with Jimin’s body on top of yours as both of you struggle to catch your breaths. Then your eyes find each other again and everything seems so clear, so right.

You can’t stop smiling at each other like lovesick fools as you fall asleep next to each other, at last content.

.

.

When Jimin wakes up the next morning he thinks it was all a dream.

But as his eyes rest on your peaceful sleeping form he knows he could never dream something as perfect as this.

He can’t help the lovesick smile taking over his lips as he looks at you through sleep-ridden eyes. He shuffles closer, resting his face on his hands to get a better look while you sleep soundly next to him. He feels like he can never get enough of you. Not now, not ever.

Suddenly your body begins moving though your eyes remain closed and Jimin figures you’re still asleep.

“Stop being creepy…” you mumble with a sleepy smile and Jimin grins too, realising he was wrong.

“I’m not being creepy…” he argues softly, still smiling. You pop open one eye to look at him unimpressed before you yawn and open both your eyelids.

“Oh, yeah, ‘cause it’s super romantic staring at me while I’m asleep, where can I find another man like that…” you tease him with a drowsy smile as your eyes find his.

He groans dramatically though his smile still remains. “You’re unbelievable…” he mumbles, his voice still gruff from sleep and you have to suppress a shiver before shuffling closer.

“I know but you love me…” you mumble against him before kissing his lips slowly. He lets himself get lost on the kiss before you lean back and he licks his lips to savour your taste.

“And now you can’t take it back!” you exclaim out loud before smiling mischievously at him.

Another groan breaks free from his lips. “Already regretting it…” he comments, checking your reaction from the corner of his eyes.

You gasp as if offended by his quip. “Well, maybe then I’ll just leave so you won’t regret it anymore!” you respond, gathering his sheet on your chest as you make a move to leave his bed.

But Jimin is faster, grabbing you by the waist and throwing you back on the bed, crawling on top of you with a predatory smile.

“Now, now, let’s not result in desperate measures…” he dives in for another kiss.

You can’t help but smile again as you kiss him, hands circling around his neck as he softly bites your bottom lip.

“Careful sir. You might trigger something dangerous here…” you whisper seductively, moving one leg so your thigh can rub against his already half-hard member.

Jimin’s smirk only grows. “Mmm, maybe I like danger…” he responds before his lips envelop yours once more. His hands travel beneath the sheet, tracing your skin before they move lower and-.

A loud bang echoes through the apartment, surprising both of you before a booming voice is heard through the walls, one that belongs to none other than Hoseok himself.

“Have you fucked yet or nah?!”

Your eyes widen, face immediately growing red. Jimin looks at you with an apologetic smile and before you get to ask why Hoseok is asking that, said man bursts into the room.

There’s a sudden explosion of sounds, you screaming as you hide beneath Jimin, Jimin cursing at Hoseok as he pulls the sheet to cover you both and Hoseok whistling at the image before him.

“Woah! You finally did it buds, I’m so happy for you!” he cheers you on as he steps inside to fist bump a very angry looking Jimin and a very visibly confused you.

“Hoseok, excuse my french, but what the fuck are you doing here?” Jimin is positively seething with his friends' interruption but as you see Hoseok basically beaming at the both of you, you can’t help but giggle at the absurd situation.

“I came to see if my buddies finally worked it out! And you did, finally! Can you imagine if you hadn’t and I’d burst through the door screaming that? That’d be awkwaaaaaaard!” he comments, too cheerful to notice Jimin’s deadly stare and you bite your lip to stop yourself from laughing.

“Right. That would’ve been awkward…” Jimin comments sarcastically though Hoseok still seems oblivious as he sits on top of the bed with a happy smile hanging from his lips.

You’re about to burst into giggles as you watch Jimin’s eyes growing wider in disbelief and you’re certain he’s gonna kill Hoseok any minute now.

“I’m so happy for you guys! My besties are finally dating!” he comments full of joy and Jimin is about to have smoke pouring out of his ears.

“Hobi, we’re happy too but I think it’d be better for you if you left…” you comment with a smile, pointing with your head at Jimin who’s about to lose it any second.

Hoseok’s eyes widen finally in realization. “Oh, whoops! Right, right, I’m leaving, keep going, stallion, show her how it’s done!” Hoseok throws finger guns at Jimin as he leaves the room and closes the door behind him.

As soon as Hoseok is out of earshot and you turn to look at Jimin you can’t help but burst into giggles by how absolutely mad he looks.

Though when you start laughing, Jimin’s incredulous stare turns to you. “Why are you even laughing?!”

Even though his ominous stare is directed at you, you can’t stop laughing. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it’s just too funny!” you say breathlessly through your giggles.

“Too funny?!” he asks incredulously before his gaze turns dark. His eyes have your laughter dying in your throat and instead another feeling rising up at the pit of your stomach.

“I’ll show you funny…” he whispers sinfully before he lunges forward and you forget what you were laughing at for the rest of the day.

There are more important matters to tend to.

[jumukus]

A3! Translation: Chikage Utsuki’s SSR [Moonlit Rose Castle] - Refraining Chikage From Consuming Spices

For his role-building as a vampire at the upcoming Halloween event, the Mankai Company members suggest that Chikage should hold back from eating what he likes: spices.

Kumon: Sakuya-san, your devil costume really is adorable!

Sakuya: You too, Kumon. You look good in that Monster costume. It screams Halloween!

Muku: Citron-sama, no matter how many times I see you in that devil suit, I can't help but think you suit that costume so well…!

Citron: Bow down to me fellas! I'm the great devil Citron coming from the bottom of the hell!

Chikage: ...It sure is lively here.

Sakuya: Oh, Chikage-san!

Chikage: What are you all seeing?

Citron: Footage from the Tag Match Halloween!

Sakuya: Each of the costumes sure bring back memories.

Muku: What costume will you be wearing, Chikage-san?

Citron: If I'm not mistaken… A vampire.

Sakuya: I think you will fit the vampire costume well!

Citron: Role-building is important so that you will get into your vampire role!

Chikage: I've never thought that far.

Muku: Speaking of vampires…"Nocturnality" comes to mind!

Kumon: Azuma-san was super cool in that!

Sakuya: How the main character was torn by how he couldn't drink blood even though he wanted it…. It sure fits Azuma-san's vibes.

Muku: Right! And the fact that he had to endure his thirst for blood and how he could express that painful feelings…!

Citron: In that case, Chikage, you should also smile off something, just like Reo!

Chikage: Smile off? They sure are one cheerful vampire. I think the correct word should be, "swear off."

Kumon: In that case… Chikage-san, why don't you refrain from eating spicy food?

Sakuya: But stopping yourself from eating your favorite food seems hard.

Citron: But this is for his role-building! You heard that, Chikage? No spicy food for a while!

Chikage: …Well, I think it'd be great to try that if I have the chance.

Chikage: I'm home.

Izumi: Welcome back, Chikage-san.

Chikage: Are we having Arrabbiata for dinner tonight? It looks delish.

Omi: I've also prepared the spice you've been into these days.

Chikage: How thoughtful of you, Omi. I expected no less from you. Alright, I'm gonna change clothes and--.

Citron: ...Wait.

Izumi: Citron-kun?

Citron: Chikage is currently refrained from eating spices.

Omi: Oh, really?

Chikage: No, I've never said tha…

Kumon: Don't tell me are we doing the whole role-building thingy for real!?

Tsumugi: Now that you mention it, avoiding your favorite food sure is a good way for role-building, since vampires usually hold back from drinking blood.

Izumi: Yeap, I agree. I support that idea!

Citron: Good luck, Chikage! Treat it as a trial to be a cool vampire!

Chikage: …

...Guess I've got no choice, then.

Chikage: ….

Itaru: Nice work today, senpai.

Chikage: Oh, hey, Chigasaki.

Itaru: Are you on your lunch break?

Chikage: Well, yeah.

Itaru: Can you come with me, then?

Chikage: How rare of you to be asking me such a thing. I have a bad feeling about this.

Itaru: That's rude of you.

You're currently refrained from eating spices, right?

So I figured you won't eat anything spicy for lunch.

Chikage: That look… You're having fun, aren't you?

Itaru: I just want to have lunch with you, though?

Chikage: ...Fine. You pick the restaurant.

Itaru: Hm? I didn't think you'd agree this easily.

Chikage: It's for my role-building, after all.

Itaru: How about pancakes, then?

My female co-workers said there's a new delicious restaurant nearby.

Chikage: Two men eating pancakes… That'll be a whole different trial.

Itaru: Let's have one with lots of sweet syrup on top.

Chikage: You're really having fun with this, aren't you?

Chikage: ...phew.

Hisoka: Zzz…

Chikage: This sleepyhead is sleeping in such a place again…

Hisoka: ...I'm not sleeping.

Izumi: Oh, you're home, Chikage-san.

Chikage: Yep, I'm home.

Hisoka: …

Chikage: ...What?

Hisoka: …You're in a bad mood, Chikage.

Chikage: Huh?

Hisoka: Is it because the spice refraining-thing?

Chikage: ….

...You don't need to say it out loud.

Izumi: (Huh? Chikage-san is in a bad mood…? I didn't notice it at all…)

(That's Hisoka-san for you. He knows him well.)

Are you all right? You don't need to force yourself…

Chikage: I'm fine. Don't mind what this sleepyhead said.

Hisoka: If I were in your shoes, I couldn't hold back from eating marshmallows.

Chikage: In your case, you need to hold back a little bit. ...Good night.

Hisoka: ...He really is in a bad mood.

Izumi: (Is Chikage-san all right…)

Izumi: (Today is tiring as well… But!)

(My go-to curry restaurant is launching a new menu today!)

(I could work hard at work because I looked forward to it!)

(I can't wait to see what kind of curry it is…!)

???: --Director-san?

Izumi: Chikage-san!

Chikage: On your way home?

Izumi: Yep. You too?

Chikage: Yeah.

Izumi: So you didn't bring your car today, huh.

Chikage: Due to work's circumstances, I took the train today.

Are you heading somewhere?

Izumi: Yup! You see--.

(Wait. Chikage-san is currently refrained from eating spices.)

(Is it okay for me to tell him I'm going to eat something he can't eat even if he wants to…?)

Chikage: Are you perhaps going to try out that restaurant's new menu?

Izumi: How do you know?

Chikage: You looked troubled.

Izumi: ...As expected of you.

Chikage: Just go, no need to mind me.

Izumi: But…

Chikage: I'm planning to go eat them once this role-building thing is over.

Izumi: …

...On second thoughts, I won't go today.

Chikage: Why?

Izumi: Let's eat it together once your role-building period is over!

Chikage: ...You don't need to be that considerate of me.

OPTION 1: Food will taste more delicious if you eat it with someone else.

Izumi: Food will taste more delicious if you eat it with someone else.

And I want to talk about curry with you.

Chikage: --.

Fine. Guess I have no choice, then. I'll keep you company.

Izumi: Hey, what's with that tone!?

Chikage: You're the one who invited me, though?

Izumi: You have a point…

(I can't accept it, but… Oh, well.)

OPTION 2: It's because curry will never go away!

Izumi: It's because curry will never go away!

Chikage: Well, it'd be scary if a curry has feet and runs away.

Izumi: I don't mean it that way, though!?

Chikage: I'm joking.

Still, you don't need to hold back, Director-san.

Izumi: It's fine! As long as it can help you with your role-building.

Chikage: ...Thanks.

I feel like the food you have been holding back from eating will taste so much more delicious once you eat it again.

I guess this is how a vampire feels when they try to endure their thirst for blood.

Izumi: Ahaha, you're right.

(Looks like the whole refraining thing is showing its effect.)

Itaru: Ugh, I'm dead. Good job on overtime work, me.

(Come to think of it, senpai said he'd be going home quickly today.)

(Maybe he's eating some spicy food somewhere since his role-building period is over.)

Citron: …

Itaru: ...Hm? Citron?

Citron: Ssh, Itaru!

Itaru: What are you doing?

Citron: I sense something strange coming from this room…

Itaru: This room… It's my room, though.

Citron: I can feel a strong, evil sense…

Itaru: Evil sense…? Now I'm curious.

Citron: Try opening the door for now! Trust my intuition.

Itaru: Yeah, yeah.

Chikage: …

Itaru: !?

Chikage: ...Mixing these two spices together might be a good idea.

Citron: Ooh! What a strong smell!

Ouch, my eyes! Poisonous gas is generated!

Itaru: Senpai… What are you doing?

Chikage: Mixing death sauce.

Nothing beats a spice after you haven't had it in a long time.

Itaru: Please don't make it sound like you're drinking alcohol.

Citron: Don't do something rash, Chikage! You'll die if you eat that much!

Chikage: Don't underestimate how much I can endure spiciness.

That's right. Let's try adding ghost pepper powder.

I'm looking forward to seeing how it tastes…

Citron: That sauce is so red it looks like blood~.

Itaru: ...His role-building is a success in that sense.

[nite-shay]

His Hero Part 3 -Kirishima Eijirou x Reader

AN: I am so so so so so sorry for how long this took! :/ I wish I had a valid excuse for this but I don’t… I hope ya’ll enjoy it! 

Links: Part 1,  Part 2 , Part 3 

Also side note I know I’m messed up a few little things but I will edit tomorrow as I go through it. Its late D: But I promised myself I would post this today. 

******

Two days…

Two long, boring desk duty days.

Kirishima sighed loudly as he signed and initialed what had to be the same form for the tenth time in the same case file! 

Ah, bureaucracy of the hero world at its finest. 

Now UA prepared him for a lot of things. 

How to use his quirk fully, fighting villains, saving people, etc. 

But one thing they didn’t prepare him for was the amount of paperwork that came with his hero career. 

Hmm… maybe that’s why they gave so much homework…

Sign. Initial. Sign. Checkmark. Checkmark. Sign. Date. Wait, was he suppose to sign here or there? Crap, is that the right date? Did he just date everything wrong?! No wait, false alarm, the date is correct.

His chair gave a loud creak as he stretched his back, glancing up at the clock. He’d been at this for hours now, and he still hadn’t even made a dent in the wall of folders on his desk. 

His mind started to wander as he stared up at the clock hands that he swore he saw moved backward a few times. 

I wonder how (Y/N) doing…

It was crazy how badly he wanted to call up to the hospital and check on you, but… he was nervous. The last thing he wanted was for you to think he’s some creepy ex stalker who you literally barely knew you.  

He just… was worried about you. He wasn’t looking for another hookup! No, no, no! He just wanted to see how you were. He did care about you, not in a creepy way just in a general way!

Luckily he wasn’t completely in the dark about your condition, thanks to his green-haired bro. The morning after the robbery, Kirishima woke up to a thoughtful text on your condition. He even got an update on your son, who loved his news toys and played hard with them till he passed out in his mother’s arms.

God, he wished he could have seen it. 

He sighed loudly before tossing the file in the ‘completed’ section while reaching for the next one. He blinked as he lifted up the hefty folder. 

It was the toy store robbery. 

Damn, this was going to be a long one—numerous villains, along with multiple injured civilians and a fair bit of collateral damage. This was going to take the rest of the day. Thankfully, though, Fatgum should be just getting back from lunch, and the store just had a damn good security system installed last week.

“Well, would ya look at that? I guess paper really does beat rock.” A slightly slimmer Fatgum chuckled as he walked in their shared office, arms full of takeaway bags. 

“Ha Ha,” Kirishima laughed sarcastically, glancing over to the older hero. “Got enough food, Toyo?”

“I used quite a bit of energy yesterday on that emergency call. Gotta bulk back up.” He dumped the food on to the small table across the room. “Plus, we’re going to be here a while when those reports.”

“Yeaaaaah. Just got to the toy store one. Did the detective ever send the surveillance footage over?”

“Yeap, got it this morning. Check your email. I think you’re on it too.“ 

"Sweet. I’ll load it up.”

“And I got the snacks,” He grinned as he held up one of the bags. 

After some quick furniture rearrangement, two sat side by side in their chairs, video buffed, snacks to side, pen and paper at the ready for notes. This was still work after all.  They chose to use the blondes’ monitor since it was bigger. He had seniority, so he typically got the good stuff, which the redhead was cool with. 

The first 20 minutes of the video was pretty boring so then ended up fast-forwarding until a familiar pair entered the frame.  

It was you and your son. The two of you were slowly making your way down the sidewalk towards the store. Kirishima, who’d previously been slouched and looking rather bored, was not hyper-focused on the screen in front of them. Which didn’t go unnoticed by his mentor, who just snickered quietly to himself. 

“Look! There they are!” The younger hero couldn’t help but smile as he watched the two you. You had a sly smile on while your son, who was looking rather frustrated, said something to you. He watched as your lips moved, but nothing came from the speakers. What were the two of you talking about?

 Damn, he wished there was audio. 

“They look pretty happy, don’t they?” Fat gum comment just as you pointed to the shop, the kids’ faces lit up like a Christmas tree. The kid wasted no time as he grabbed your hand and dragged you inside the store.

“Yeah, they really do.” Kirishima grinned as he pressed a key, switching the view to inside. The redhead beamed as the two of you bounced from isle to isle, your son getting physically more and more excited. 

Something churned in him. 

Something that’s been happening here a lot recently. He noticed it a few weeks ago. 

How his gaze would linger on families he’d pass down the street or on Bakugou as he interacted with his daughter.  He really didn’t know what it was at first and just tried to ignore it. 

But when he ran into you and your son two days ago, those emotions were brought to the forefront.  And these last two days of drowning himself in work wasn’t just to get you off his mind. It was to drown out his feelings.

He… wanted this… 

A wife…. A kid… A family…

Not that he doesn’t have a family! He’s still got both of his parents plus his sister he talks to on a pretty regular basis. He’s also really close with his friends to the point where he thought of them as family. Hell, his literal best friend lives right next door to him. You’d think he has it all? 

A loving and supportive family. Amazing friends. An awesome career that is literally his dream. 

Sounds fantastic, right? 

But sometimes, after the long hard days. His apartment just felt empty. 

He was greeted with a quiet (Bakugou’s yelling is more like background noise to him now) home.  

No one to greet him when he gets home after a long day.

No one to just cuddle and share thoughts with. Even the stupid or random ones.

No one to share meals with while they go over plans or talk about their days. 

No one to have petty arguments with like who ate all the cereal and didn’t put it on the list, who left the cap off the toothpaste, not replacing the toilet paper.

No one but himself.

He had a few roommates for a while, but they all moved out to live with their s/o. He’d tried dating and even had a girlfriend move in with him once, but that ended badly. Hero life was hard. Being the significant other of a hero, well, that could be even harder some days. They broke up not long after, and he’d been single ever since. 

He mentally sighed. Guess it was the bachelor’s life him…

He continued to watch the two of you browse another aisle as you made your way to the back of the store. From the angle of the camera, he could barely see you now.  His hand itched to switch the view to the rear camera, but he restrained himself.  This was his job; he needs to watch for the villains, not ogle you. No matter how beautiful you were. How soft and sweet your voice was. Or how quickly that demeanor changed when it came to the safety of your son. He knows first hand you don’t come between a momma bear and her cub. He wouldn’t lie, seeing you go into protective mode, just… damn.

Thankfully, before that thought could go any further, two figures walked through the front door and into the frame. It was the villains. They could only watch as the villains made their way over to the front desk and the shopkeeper. 

The villains split up, the smaller one stayed near the desk while the larger one stalked around closer to the racks. He could see the villains and the shopkeeper talking but couldn’t make out what was being said. Lip reading wasn’t his thing. But it was apparent the villains were trying to intimidate the scared-looking man. 

A flash in the corner of the screen brought his attachment back to you as you and your son moved closer to the front and ultimately closer into danger. 

“No..go back…” Kirishima whispered under his breath as he watched the next bit unfold.  The brute yelled something, gave his partner before giving the rack on end a hard shove. Toys and plushies tumbled from their metal shelves as the racking toppled over into the one beside it. 

He already knew what was coming.

That rack fell into the next, which fell into the next one. Line by line, row by row. All the shelves dominoed into each. 

His eye darted from the villain back to where you were, his body on full alert. Your head jerks to the side, no doubt from the sound of the loud crashing. With reflexes that surprised even him, he watched as you grabbed your son just as the shelf beside you gave in to the weight of the rows before it. 

“Is there any other view on them?” He couldn’t stop himself from asking. Yeah they were suppose to keep their eyes on the villain's for the report but... 

“Yeah, there’s one in the back.” Fat was already reaching for the keyboard as he glared at the screen, his food seemingly forgotten. The screen flashed for switching over to the back of the shop.

It was total chaos. Toys, plushies, and other items were scattered everywhere from the falling rows. And there in the middle of the disaster area was you and your son. Nearly all of you laid beneath the rack currently pinning you to the floor, save for your one arm and your head. Your son wasn’t in any better of a position; he could only see the top of his head. Suddenly the video stopped. Fatgum had paused the video before playing back the part of you, grabbing your son, right before the rack fell. 

“Good reflexes.” The older man sighed in relief. “Little guy would have been crushed if he’d stayed .” Kirishima could only nod as they continued to watch. The video was back to where it was before, with the two of you being pinned under the rack. Even though he couldn’t seem much of you, he knew the two of you were scared. How could you not be? Damn, he should have gotten there faster! 

If he’d been faster, maybe… you wouldn’t have gotten hurt as bad, or your son wouldn’t have been as scared. Though, to be honest, it was just chance they’d been in the area. Guess you could say it was a right place at the right time kind deal. The two heroes just finished their shift and were heading back to the agency. They’d gotten into a debate on food and made a wrong turn, which put them on that street. A loud crash caught the attention of a civilian across who called to them from across the street.

If they hadn’t been there, how long would it have taken for the call to come in? How long would you have been pinned there? How long would your son have to watch you suffer, alone, scared?

A shadow in the corner of the screen shook him from his thoughts. It was the bigger villain making his way towards the back of the store. 

“Hide…” Kirishima mumbled as they watched the villain make his way over to you.  You shifted, hiding your son further into the small hollow, but leaving you exposed and unprotected. 

“The detective said in the email that a part of this was pretty hard to watch, I’m guessing that’s about to come up…” Fatgum muttered sadly, putting his snacks down on the table. They watched as the villain stopped in front of you. The man was clearly saying something to you, but you only kept your head down, shielding your young son. The villain tensed for a moment. Was it something you did? Or maybe you said? Whatever it was clearly angered him as he gave you a wicked grin before putting his foot on the rack above you. Before, the redhead wished there was sound, but now, he was grateful for the silence.

 "That bastard!“ He saw red as he watched you scream from the man applying more force to the shelf. 

"Easy Red, they’re both ok, that guy won’t be able t-.” The older man tried to calm down his partner, well, until the villain kicked you in the face. That made the older hero jump to his feet. “That fiend! Just you wait till we get there! You’ll regret that!” As enraged as Kirishima was, he couldn’t help but smile and chuckle at how quick his mentor’s demeanor changed.  

After picking his char up off the floor, Fat sat back down, and the two returned to watching the video. It wasn’t long, for they saw the villain’s lip moves, still looking over for walking off-screen. You weren’t moving, and your face was now covered in blood. 

Nothing moved on the screen for the longest time. Fat was just about to reach over and speed up the video when something caught his eye.

It was your son. 

Kirishima’s heart broke as he watched the small boy pull himself out from under the wreckage. He was shaking, and his clothes were torn, but thankfully, he wasn’t hurt. Well, not physically anyway. How the kid managed to walk away from that unscathed was a miracle. (Y/S/N) looked in the villain’s direction before turning back to you. It was hard to see the kids face at this angle, but the heroes didn’t need to. They knew he was crying as he gently shook you, trying to wake you up.

Sadly you weren’t waking up, not then anyway. 

If he’d been in that kid’s shoes at his age, he would have given up right then and there.

But not this kid. 

No, instead, he grabbed your arm and started pulling you. Trying to drag you up from under the rack.

This elementary school kid, who was just the victim of a villain attack, was trying with all his might to save his mom. He jerked and strained as he tried to pull you from under the massive weight, but you weren’t budging. He gave one final strong pull before slipping on remnants of a displaying, causing him to fall back on his butt. Kirishima had to physically stop himself from moving.  

The kid was back on his feet in a flash, this time though he was trying to lift the rack. He knew he couldn’t lift the shelf; even with a quirk, it would be impossible for him given his size. But there he was still pushing with everything he had. 

“Poor little guy. He must have been terrified but look at him. He’s really giving it his all." 

"He’s an awesome kid. If it’d been me, I’d be too scared to move.” Kirishima’s voice was full of pride but held a trace of sadness. The redhead was proud of the squirt. Most kids, hell, most adults would have been paralyzed with fear. 

But not him. 

Despite the fear.

Despite the pain. 

Despite the hopelessness.

He still kept trying.

He’d make a hell of a hero one day…

A flash of red in the corner of the screen jolted him from his thoughts. 

It was himself. They’d finally arrived to help. While the video played out in front of them, the rest of his senses played his memory. He could hear the kids cry for help. He could feel the weight of the shelf as he moved behind the kid to rescue you. The warmth yet limpness of your body as he pulled you from the wreckage. The wailing of your son calling out for you. The relief when he felt your pulse still beating beneath the fragile skin of your neck. The overwhelming emotions as tried to comfort the small, terrified child in his arms. 

Fatgum paused the video once everyone was out of frame. You on a stretcher and him with your son still in his arms.

“You did really good out there today, Red.” Fatgum grinned at him before reaching over to the file on the desk, flipping through the report.

“Thanks.” Kirishima sighed. “I just wish I could have done more. Maybe if I’d been faster, (Y/N) and (S/N) wouldn’t have had to suffer as much. Some hero I am…" 

"Don’t say that! You did everything you could and believe me when I say this, at that moment, you truly became that kids hero.”

“Hmm…"  Fatgum gave the folder in his hand a puzzled look before hit rewind on the footage.

"What’s up?” Kirishima glanced up at the larger hero. 

“It’s nothing really. Just wondering something. The paramedics said the kid was ok right?”

“Yeah, they checked over him at the scene. His clothes were torn up some, but surprisingly, the little guy didn’t have a scratch on him.” A light bulb went off. “Wait, How did he do that? He was under that rack too!”

“That’s what I was wondering. Maybe he used his quirk? If he did, given the shape he momma was in, it might have saved his life.”

“Hmm… well, he did say that his quirk was kind of like mine. But I didn’t see him use it.” He thought back. Fat paused the video to right as the rack was falling on to the two of you. It was still hard to watch, but they went through it frame by frame. “I can’t see anything resembling a quirk…”

“Hmm… I can’t tell anything. If he has a defensive quirk, it doesn’t really stand out. Plus, with all the objects falling around them, it makes it harder to tell. 

"Maybe his clothes are hiding it?”

“Hey, can you go to the part where he crawls out? I think there was a pretty good shot of him there.” Fatgum nod hit a few keys to comply. “There! Right there!” They let the video play out from there. 

Until they saw it. For a split second, the kid is looking right at the camera, showing his whole face. And something… just looked off. Was something wrong with the camera? Maybe it was a trick of the light or the lens?

“Can we zoom in on his face?” Kirishima leaned forward, looking closely at the screen as Fat zoomed in on the boy’s face. The screen was blurry for a minute, but slowly the video started to render, making the image clearer.

What? Was his skin…. hardening?

No, it was just hardening.. it was sharpening too… Just like his…

Kirishima felt his heart take a free fall into his stomach. 

 The kid didn’t have a quirk similar to his. 

No, his quirk was exactly like his!

The room started to spin as he felt like every molecule of breathable air suddenly took an exit stage right, right out of the room. 

“Hey… Kirishima… when did you meet (L/N) again?” Kirishima could barely hear Fat’s question over the ringing in his ears.

Links: Part 1,  Part 2 , Part 3

Thanks for the read! If you want see the other stuff I’ve done, click the link bellow! 

MasterList

Tags: @hot-pocket01 

[sleepynobie]

Age | Ilpyo x Reader

(A/N: Yoooo, welcome to the first chap with my fav //obviously lol// Anyway, there's a little timeskip so if you wanna be specific on which era this takes place, it takes place after the Ragnarok battle. But no spoilers here so just consider it as a timeskip if you haven't read the webtoon 😁 Enjoy!)

Age is just a number. That's what many people say right?

Well, yes to some extent. But at the same time, you still need to respect people that are older than you. Especially in Korea, you still need to respect that person even if it's only by a year. That's why Ilpyo always reminds Mori to call him 'hyung' which is an older brother in Korean (although Mori never does) because it's a way to show respect to someone who's older than him.

However, because of this hierarchical culture, it can be difficult to get close to someone especially if the age gap is big. And unfortunately, that's what happens to him when he met you who are older by 5 years.

Well, calling you 'noona' is alright since that's how it works but at the same time, it emphasises that he is your younger brother because of this age gap. Of course, Ilpyo tries to change your perception of him to be your equal but it's not easy if you always consider him cute whenever he tries to act manly. Although it could be due to the fact that he's still in high school so you always see him as a kid.

Well, not today though. Ilpyo has turned to 20 which means he's officially an adult, at least almost on equal standing as you. So as a celebration, you visit his place to celebrate with his family and introduce him to the world of alcohol (lol). After that for some reasons, his family start to leave the two of you alone in the living room.

"So, what do you think of soju after drinking it for the first time?" You ask with a smile.

"Well, it's surprisingly sweet" He innocently replies "I thought it's going to be bitter"

"That's good to hear. Because if it tastes bitter, that means your life is so shit that the soju tastes bitter to you" You explain.

"Really?" Ilpyo looks unconvinced and rests his cheek on his palm "I mean I'm having a hard time since you still treat me like a younger brother"

"That's because Ilpyo is just so adorable~" You suddenly say in cute voice while cupping your face as if acting cute.

He sighs "I'm not cute for God sake. Can you see me as a man for once?"

"Hmm... I don't know~ I mean I just imagine when you're on hojosa mode and have those ears which make you even cuter. I still remember how fluffy it is when I first touched it" You say while looking blissful as you start reminiscing the first time you touch his ears.

Ilpyo looks slightly embarrassed since he gets reminded on that awkward situation when you start treating him like a cat which is way worse than a younger brother. From that moment, he swore to never let you touch his ears ever again. But anyway, it's frustrating that you just never see him on the same level as you.

"So am I never going to be a man to you?" Ilpyo suddenly asks and the mood instantly changes into a serious one as he gives a serious look to you.

Knowing that you shouldn't joke around, your expression shifts to a serious one too before replying "You're a man, Ilpyo-"

"But you never see me as one. You always think of me as a younger brother just because I'm 5 years younger than you. Besides, it's not like you act according to your age"

Now that last sentence just stings you like an arrow that hit your chest because not only it's humiliating but also the fact that it's true. You may be 25 years old but sometimes you act like a kid that you're the very definition of the fake maknae. Even Seung Ah is more of an older sister than you are.

"... I hate the fact that I can't talk back to you because it's true" You say unenthusiastically and sulk.

Ilpyo sighs "I just want you to give me a chance, especially that now I'm no longer a high schooler. I'm an adult, just like you"

You look unsure because to be honest, you do have feelings for him recently. It's just that because of the large age gap, you're feeling insecure at how you're going to be the old one first. When you hit 30, Ilpyo is only 25 which basically he's dating an old woman. Heck even by next year, you're already in the late 20s when he's still in early 20s. Besides, wouldn't it better for him to date fellow early 20s? Who knows there might be someone who clicks with him and he has some time to 'experiment'. Whereas for you, you don't have the time and energy because you prefer to settle down with 'the one'. Moreover, it would be good for his future if he can stay together longer with his partner-

"Noona, are you okay?" You snap out of your trance and look at Ilpyo who looks concerned because you've been quiet for a while and your expression turns grim.

"Y-Yeah, I'm okay" You smile "Sorry, my mind went somewhere else"

He sighs in relief before smiling "I'm sorry I ruined the mood, did I?"

"No, you don't so don't apologise" You say "Actually you know what, let's talk more about this"

"Okay.." Ilpyo merely says but looks slightly concerned on what you're going to talk about from this point onwards.

"So as you said, you're an adult now and you're right. But at the same time, there's a difference between us" You start explaining "You just enter adulthood while I'm already in this game for 5 years. And as your senior, I tell you that being an adult sucks"

He stays silent to keep listening while you take a deep breath before continuing "People start to expect more from you whether from the way you behave, your lifestyle, or your plan in the future. Of course, you can always be like 'Well it's my life so leave me alone' but to some extent, you're still pressured anyway. Recently, my parents and friends keep asking when will I get married because I don't even have a boyfriend and they're worried that I will be forever alone. Although I replied that I'll just accept it if that happens but my point is that things are getting more serious as you grow older"

You look at him before giving a tap on his shoulder "So, what I'm trying to say is that you should give up on me, enjoy your early 20s life, and meet the right person to be your partner okay? You better choose someone with a closer age to you than having a large gap like us"

"Nope" Ilpyo smiles and you pause for a moment since you're still processing what he just said before scolding him.

"Did you just listen what I just said-"

"I did but I still don't want to give up on you" He says "Besides, you were saying that your parents and friends are worried since you don't have a boyfriend and may end up forever alone. Then, date me"

You blush in embarrassment at his bold confession but then quickly return to your composure "No Ilpyo, here's the thing. I'm 5 years older than you. By the time you're on the same age as me now, I'm going to be an old woman. I will be 30 years old"

"So?" He merely asks as if there's no issue with what you just said.

"So, it's not right" You reply "Wouldn't it better for you to date someone around your age? You can be with them longer compared to me-"

"Because 'you're gonna die early' bullshit?" Ilpyo objects "You don't know that and I may die earlier than you"

"Yeah but still-"

"Besides, I like you because of who you are" He continues "So what if you age faster than me? So what if you could die earlier than me? You think I wouldn't consider that once I start liking you? I know that you want a serious relationship and I'm all in for that"

You become quiet because you couldn't say anything since he's right. You never know how the future will be like and you know he's not the type who plays around. It's just that.. Is it really okay to be selfish? Is it really fine to date him?

"And also at the end of the day, it's my life so you have no right to tell me to give up on you" Ilpyo adds "Unless you're interested in someone else or get married, then I will but otherwise, I'll keep trying until you change your perspective of me"

You look at him for a moment and yeap, he's dead serious before you facepalm "God, you're so stubborn"

"You just realise that?" He pretends to look surprised and you look unamused.

"Of course not. I know that you're stubborn but not this stubborn"

"Well, that's just how serious I am on dating you" Ilpyo says.

You start blushing in embarrassment and run your hand through your hair "Are you sure about this?"

"Do you really need to ask" He rolls his eyes "Then, what's the point of me keep liking you for two years despite how you always say that you see me as a younger brother?"

"I know but I just want to make sure because if you're really onboard with this, you'll never get to experience dating other type of girls and you'll accept whatever consequences that might happen in the future"

"Do I look like the type to experiment?" Ilpyo says "I only want you. End of the discussion"

You still look doubtful for a moment but then you slowly start to feel more sure since again, he's really serious about this "Okay fine... But really, it's going to be a roller coaster okay so you better be prepared"

"So, it's going to be a fun ride? I'm looking forward to it" He smiles.

"Well... yes but actually that's not what I mean-"

"Anyway, do you wanna sleepover tonight?" Ilpyo suddenly changes the topic and that makes you blush to the point your face is instantly red.

"W-Wait! Suddenly?"

"What? You sleepover at our place before"

"But I sleep with Seung Ah" You say "and this is going to be the first time with you"

"So you're not going to sleepover then?" He looks at you with puppy eyes that should be banned for God sake because you just feel guilty if you say no to him. Plus, you just imagined if he has that face while on hojosa mode.

"Okay, I'll sleepover" You end up giving in "But we're not going to do 'if you know what I mean'. It's just a pure, innocent sleepover"

"Of course not" He sweatdrops "I didn't even think of that since I just want to cuddle with you. Geez, how perverted you are"

"SHUT UP! IT'S JUST IN CASE OKAY? I'M JUST GIVING A HEADS UP" You retort.

"Okay okay, it's night already so calm down, (Name)" He pats your head and you quickly tone down since you feel embarrassed as this is the first time he pats your head and actually calls you by your name only.

"You're already adjusted to boyfriend mode so quickly"

"Of course" He smiles.

You sigh "Well, let's go to bed then"

"Sure, I'll lend you my t-shirt and pants"

"My God, this is really going too fast" You comment and as much as you seem to deny that you're not used to it, you do feel happy that you end up going with what you want. Plus, you never saw Ilpyo this happy throughout your life so it's adorable to see him like this.

"By the way, I think I can just borrow Seung Ah's clothes right?"

Ilpyo pouts since he wants you to wear his clothes and you sweatdrop before ending up wearing his clothes to sleep.

[wa-royal-tea]

Previous | Beginning | Next

(Transcript under the cut - Click Pics for HQ Version!)

@royalfamilyofgrimalldi​​​​​

A few years later...

Louis’ Café, Worcester (1:00pm)

Eliyana:—and then Ani said “No, I was here first and this is MY seat.”.

Anika: I did! And the dude kept insisting it was his seat when my stuff was right there!

Harley: Damn, that dude has balls of steel trying to mess with you.

Anika: I know! He was lucky that Professor Ludwig was there or else I would’ve yanked him out from my seat.

Eliyana: Imagine if Professor Ludwig wasn’t there, Ani would’ve flipped the dude like she did the other day. You remember, Rainier?

Anika: Rainier? Are you listening?

Rainier:...

Anika: What’s wrong with him?

Harley: Oh, he’s just distracted. Ginny hasn’t spoken to him in a week.

Eliyana: What? Why? Did something happen?

Harley: I have no idea. He didn’t tell me.

Eliyana: Hello? Earth to Rainier?

Rainier: *startled* W-what? Were you guys talking to me?

Harley: No, we’re talking to the table here. Of course we’re talking to you!

Anika: What’s wrong? You look distracted. Did something happen?

Rainier: Oh, sorry. I was just...thinking.

Harley: About what?

Rainier: Ginny. She’s been distant lately and I don’t know if it’s because I did something wrong or if she’s just...lost interest in me.

Anika: Didn’t you two see each other last summer in Windasia? You said everything was okay when you saw her last time.

Eliyana: Yeah. And maybe she’s just busy. You know how she is when she’s busy.

Anika: Mhm. I don’t think she did it on purpose.

Rainier: If it’s only for a few hours, I’d understand. But it’s been a week since she last replied to me. I’m worried something happened to her.

Harley: I’m sure she’s fine.

Rainier: Remember the last time you said that and what happened next?

Harley: I— Don’t bring that up.

Eliyana: You know what? We all know how Ginny is. For all we know, she might have something planned for you.

Anika: Eli! Shh!

Rainier: What was that?

Eliyana:...nothing. Come on, let’s eat. I’m starving.

Harley: Are you going to the field trip next month?

Rainier: I’m not sure yet. It’s not compulsory right?

Harley: Yeah, but I heard the place we’re going to is fun.

*phone rings*

Rainier: Give me a second.

Harley: Who is it?

Rainier: It’s Ginny. I missed her call. I’m going to call her back. You can go ahead with the others.

Harley: Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow, then.

Rainier: Hey, you called!

Ginny (on the phone): Yeah, sorry I didn’t reply to your messages. I got a bit busy with Uni and then I lost my phone at the library.

Rainier: Really? I thought something bad happened to you. I was worried for you.

Ginny: *chuckles* You always worry too much.

Rainier: You’re far from me, of course I’m worried.

Ginny: So you’re saying that if I’m closer to you, you wouldn't worry anymore?

Rainier (on the phone): Maybe? *sighs* I wish break was closer. I want to see you again. I miss you.

Ginny: *laughs* We just met last Summer!

Rainier: Yeah, and that was months ago.

Ginny: Well, maybe your wish will come true.

Rainier: What do you mean?

Ginny: I have a surprise for you.

Rainier: A surprise?

Ginny: *giggles* Yeap. You’re going to love it.

Rainier: Hmm, I doubt that.

Ginny: Trust me on this. Oh! I’ve got to go. See you soon!

Rainier: Soon? Wait—

Rainier: “See you soon”? What is she—

???: Hey, you.

Rainier: What the— Ginny?

Ginny: Surprise?

Rainier: W-what? How?

Ginny: I applied for an exchange student program. Remember when I told you I was busy with Uni? I was actually preparing for my transfer.

Rainier: Wait, that means...

Ginny: I’m here to stay.

Ginny: Do you like the surprise?

Rainier: *smiles* I love it.

Rainier: Welcome back, Ginny.

[guigz1-coldwar]

'Heavy task' : New chapter for "Redemption in a Spirit in a Cold War" is out !

"Heavy task"

Chapter Summary : After an troubling memory, Yirina is meeting Park's friends that will compose their team

To read it on AO3, click here !

Words : +3300

-----------------------------

I can say that Park really make an good team by choosing her friends and frankly, the fact that we are only four is pleasing me by a lot. I don't like to be surrounded by too much people in such a place like this and if those people aren't friendly with me, I'm able to quickly freak out, leave the hell out of here and never coming back. Hopefully for me, Park's friends seems to appreciate me and I appreciate them back too. They're very cool to talk with and even if Greta is Park ex-lover, I have a good feeling about her.

Once Garrett and Greta got themselves installed in their respectives rooms, they came back in the living room for the briefing I have prepared with Park as she asked for me to help with that. Of course, we had to explain everything that happened in just one month : the raid on the first warehouse that was my first mission after I was back, the Nightclub's events, the quick rescue of Park from Perseus's hands, our track about the buyers in New Orleans for us & Irak for the others and to finish, what happened in that mall two days ago in New Jersey.

They were quite amazed of hearing about all of this, that happened in just one little month as apparently, missions against Perseus weren't so common in the beginning of the year, meaning that with my return, we have taken a new speed against Perseus.....or it was him who did this. When the briefing was done, we spent the rest of the day to try to find something new again in the archive room of the house that Park presented to me last day : it was more like an office with tons of cardbox, books and papers. We searched for anything about the warehouse that we were going to scout & strike but nothing on it, let's say that we can thanks the MI5 for learning about it because we would have nothing if they weren't here.

Like we planned at the evening, it was time for us to go to the warehouse for our mission. It was located in the Schmargendorf district of West-Berlin, almost at the center of the city and it took us more than 20 minutes to get positioned near a safe place near the warehouse for our little scouting. For that part of the mission, we decided to split up in two teams as we used two cars for that : I decided myself to team up with Greta, letting Park with Garrett, knowing that everything will be fine.

Each team were positioned at the opposite side of the warehouse, me & Greta at the north of it, Park & Garett at the south of it. We stayed in our car that we parked on a parking, having have a big view on one of the warehouse garage door. The building wasn't big enough but it was large enough to have guns and intels inside.

"Anything on your side ?" It was Garett's voice speaking through the radio we brought in to communicate of any events from each side 38 minutes after our last communication. It was 8:38 PM "Nothing here for the moment."

"We can say the same here." Greta was the one to reply at the radio, keeping her eyes on the entrance we were watching. She was sit in the passenger seat as I was the one who drive the car, having my hands on the wheel.

"Just got some unusuals civilians staying near the door." I added, looking at two mens that was like guarding the door from intruders....very suspicious...."Guess you have the same thing to your side..."

"Yes, got three men in here." Park told us, revealing that this warehouse was used by Stone as a building like that can't be guarded like that. "We will keep you in touch for anything new."

"Sounds good, over." Greta said as the radio went off, leaving only us in the car alone, watching the warehouse.

"Now, we have to wait." I exclaimed, tapping the wheel with my two index fingers, almost looking a little bit nervous, like a way to destress.

"You're looking quite nervous." Greta guessed, having seen me doing those taps on the wheel as she redressed herself on her seat.

"Just an way to calm myself down." I explained to her, stopping my moves to look at her for an second before getting my eyes back on the entrance.

"Can I ask you something, Yirina ?" Her question make me look back at her, curious of what she want with me, so I nodded to her. "You said that Bell was not longer your name, why ?" I never thought of that question from her as I thought she will ask for me about how I know Park well...

"Let's just say that I had an disagreement with the CIA." I replied, releasing a little breath from my mouth.

"Really ? But I thought that you're working with the MI6 ?" She continued to ask, thinking that there were something anormal with me....and that was the case.

"Bell....well, it's a name I gained by the CIA but I never really liked it so when I stopped working alongside the CIA, I stop using that name." I added from my response, giving my thoughs on 'Bell'.....the woman that I was before and still in me.  "It's not something I'm proud to have used that name."

"Park said you have defected in 1981, is that right ?" I nodded to her, she seems very curious with me. "And then, you worked in the MI6 for three years and I never heard of you."

"Well, I preferred to work alone, in the shadows if you know what I mean....." I started to said, raising an eyebrow to her. "Can I say that you're a very curious with me, Greta ?" I asked her back.

"For me, you're a very mysterious woman, Yirina Grigoriev." She responded, looking at me with an smile, almost sounding in a seducing voice. "Mysterious &....very pretty."

"Uhm...thanks you." I said, almost troubled to have this remark to me outside from Park. I tried to look away from her, focusing back on the entrance.

"Hm, it's very hot in that car." She started to said and for me, it was pretty strange.

"You're kidding ?" I scoffed "It's freezing in here and outside too." I added, giving me just chills by talking about cold, moving my hands together to blow some heat inside of them with my mouth.

"Don't know, must be something in the car doing that to me." She told me as I gave one quick look to discover her having removing her top button of her shirt and unzipping her jacket...giving me a lovely look.....what did I got myself into ?....."Must be....also someone..."

"Uhmm..." I breathed, embarassed suddenly to be here now with her, she is an great friend but...it's all weird now....

"Yirina, Greta, can you hear us ?" Park's voice came from the radio and thanksfully, it actually saved me from that weird situation with Greta.

"We copy." I spoke up, taking the radio in my hand in a quick move

"Join us at the small alley near the warehouse, we got a van that got inside just an second ago." She ordered us before the radio went off again as it was maybe time to strike this place down.

"Let's get going !" I said to myself as I started the car engine to drive off the parking we were on.

We acted in front of the guards like if we were just leaving the parking to go back home as they had their eyes on us all the way as we left the parking. I drove off away, taking a right turn before stopping the car in a hidden place, not so far from the rendez-vous point just next to the small alley Park asked us to join her & Garrett. Once we were out of the car, we took the equipment that we got into our trunk. Since our safehouse has a special room for guns revealed for me by Park, I took a XM4 with me, keeping my precious M1911 with me.

We equipped ourselves with bulletproof vests in hidden sight as the streets were pretty calm and no bystanders to see two womens gearing up. Then, we started to walk quickly inside the small alley where we could see Park & Garrett, also ready, armed & protected for the mission. She took her usual equipment as for him, he was also well-armed, having his own guns too.

"So, ready ?" He started after we got inside the alley next to them as he was standing on an closed dumpster bin, looking at a window to the inside of the warehouse.

"Yeap, armed to the teeth !" I joked about it, making him smile at me as he got down from the bin. "Stone is inside ?" I asked.

"No." He replied, breathing.

"It would have been too easy for us and frankly, Stone isn't going to show up that easily in here." Park added, looking away for a second, almost sounding angry.

"Inside, there's a lot of covers and at least 10 to 15 enemies." Garrett checked up his mag from his Krig 6, a gun that Greta is also using. "Mostly not wearing an protection and a small part, slightly protected."

"You spot maybe the man in charge of the place ?" Greta questioned him but he shook his head at the same time he took his mag back into his gun.

"Guess that if we hear someone yelling orders, then we will know who we are looking for." I guessed and the three nodded in approval, almost laughing of it.

"Okay." Park took a breath before she gestured at us. "There's an door in that very alley, it's our entrance inside." She then started to walk away as we followed her.

As we followed her, I quickly checked the mag of my own XM4 in case, not wanting to make an rookie mistake before charging our way inside the warehouse. The group weren't looking so nervous as this mission was their first since a long time. Apparently, it's been months that they didn't work all together and in here with them, I was feeling like a newbie discovering more about Park's friends and to be honest, it was very new for me.....like if I was relieving my first days after meeting Zasha in 1975.

We arrived near the door Park talked about, leading inside the warehouse. It was pretty strange that it wasn't guarded at all like if Stone mens forgot about it, making the things easier for our little group. Garrett decide to take the lead, positioning himself just next to the door as we got behind him, with me & Park aiming at the door while Greta was aiming behind us to make sure that we weren't surprised.

"Ok, let's do....." He was going to continue until the door suddenly opened itself....revealing two guards that were going to get here for an smoke, one of them holding a pack of cigarettes and when we all make eyes contacts, it was looking like the most embarassed moment in our lifes and then....

"Alarm !" One of them shouted inside in german as the other tried to reach for his gun below his jacket before Garett literally pulled a bullet right between of his eyes from his Krig 6 before we started to charge inside with him, throwing himself on the other guard that was finished to yell.

"Quick, move to cover !" He ordered and we quickly complied as the bullets has started to fly in our direction, getting ourselves right behind multiples covers : me behind an crate with Park as Greta got covered by an large pillar while Garrett was still struggling with the screaming guy. "Oh, shut up !" He reached his handgun to put the screaming guy out of the game before getting behind cover.

"What a start !" I scoffed as I peaked to get a look on the warehouse, discovering the place : 3 rows of racks, supposely filled with weapons crates and the van Park & Garrett saw at the other side of the warehouse on the enemy side. Then, I got myself back to cover, preparing my gun to shoot.

"Welcome into our group, Yirina." Park smiled at me before she started to fire with her MP5 on our right and I moved to fire at our left of our cover. "Garrett, hostiles at 11 o'clock."

"Got it !" He exclaimed, shooting in the direction that Park told him, precisely getting 2 guards out of the picture.

"Yirina, there's someone on top of that catwalk." Greta pointed at me to a catwalk at my right as she got next to me. There were an guard shooting with an SMG at her position so I stayed in cover, shooting at the guy and hitting him, causing him to fall from the catwalk to land on a pile of box. "Danke." She thanked me in german and I nodded to her.

"Throwing smoke grenades !" Garrett exclaimed, holding two grenades that he launched further in the warehouse, making us some good cover for us and an small instant to breathe as the bullet stopped to fly to us, instead hearing people coughing from the smokes. "Ok, we can advance now." He added, streching his left arm to reload his gun.

"Each one of you take a hallway between the racks." Park suggested and once the smoke were at their full capacity we decided to move out of cover to advance inside the warehouse.

Park took the most to the right hallway of the place, I took the one close to her, Garrett took the other one next to me as Garrett took the most at the left one. I advanced slowly inside my hallway as I entered the smoke screen and I was immediately greeted inside by an man holding an knife, trying to charge me with it. I took my XM4 in my both hands and I uppercutted the man with it, getting my M1911 out to pull an bullet in him, not wanting to get surprised by that guy after.

Further in the smoke screen, I saw two guys still coughing from the smoke until they saw me....2 against one....I needed to react fast so  without hesitation, I literally throw my XM4 in the guy that was at my right, getting my hand on my M1911 again. The left guy tried to attack me with his AK-47 but I was able to shot a bullet in his stomach, causing him to fall on his knees until I decided to shot another bullet in the head to fully kill him.

"Overkill....best kind of kill." I taunted to myself before I quickly focused back on the other guy who was able to recover and had his both hands on my XM4, almost ready to aim at me. I grabbed his collar and I headbutt him before getting him fly above me on the ground and then I was on him before I shoot 3 bullet into that guy that was still looking resisting to me. "Just fucking die !" I taunted to him as I shot the bullets.

Once it was done, I took back my XM4 and advance in my hallway until I arrived at the end of it, not even greeted by an single bullet but I could see someone enter an office and closing the door of it, it was maybe the chief of the guys in place. I was ready to go in until I saw Garrett arriving at the same time as me at the end of the warehouse. He was struggling with someone, a knife in his hand.

"Don't worry, I got this !" He shouted at me as I was ready to help him in his fight and then in a second, he actionned something in his knife, the blade of it going directly into the right eye of the man he was fighting with me. "Told you." He said at me before he looked at the office's door direction, having seen it too apparently. "I'm taking the guy, help Park and Greta !" I nodded as he runned to the office door before I could see a man falling back at my left, discovering Greta having shoot him.

"I'm okay." She breathed, looking at me with an smile and getting next to me, spanning over an dead guy she killed and then, I could see behind her an guard aiming at her with his own gun

"Watch out !" I yelled before I decided to throw myself on Greta to get into cover, avoiding her to get killed from that guy and as the same guy was about to shoot us again, he was immediately shot by someone....Park !

"Are you okay ?" She asked after getting out of the hallway she was taking care of, finding me on top of Greta before I removed quickly from her.

"Really good, thanks for the save, Park." I told her with an smile as I got up to reach for my gun. "So, is this it ?" I looked around, seeing only dead bodies and us alive.

"Guess so...." Greta started before we hear a loud noise of a window getting broken. It was the guy that me & Garrett saw getting into the office, flying through the window of it as Garrett was getting out of it by the same way....walking.

"Sorry, he tried to kill me !" He exclaimed at us, almost sounding apologizing at he walked to get to the guy he just threw throught the window.

"Go fuck your...." The man wanted to say until Garett kick him right into the face with his feet, knocking the guy out for the moment. At this moment, we all take a breath as we have just finished our mission and making quite a mess in the place.

"I can say that the MI6 will like to tear this place apart !" Garrett looked at the multiples racks, filled with crates before he put his eyes on the van that they saw. "Let's see what's inside." He walked to the van backdoors to open it, revealing an large crate.

"Wow, that's quite big." I said, looking at the crate as Garrett get inside the van to have the crate outside and I decided to help him....we all to because it was very heavy. "What Stone is using to make this crate heavy ?" I asked to myself as we were finally done with it, putting the crate on the ground.

"Got an crowbar." Greta told us, handing the object to Garrett and then, he opened the box with it...revealing multiples rocket launchers in it.

"Can say that Stone is still loving those !" Garrett took a breath at seeing those, making me think that Stone really like explosives.

"RPG.....american model." I whispered, taking one of it in my hands to check, it was unarmed and safe to take....until I realized that there were something wrong with it. "Wait, it's more heavier than I thought." I proclaimed, curious about it.

"Do you think there's something inside ?" Park asked me, also curious before I decided to tap the RPG on the ground, getting some small packages from it.... "Fuck, that's drugs !" She was sounding more shocked to see those white packages on the ground.

"Stone is now into drugs !" Greta whispered before taking also one of the RPG to do the same as me, discovering another drug packages.

"Shit !" Garrett was taken away by that, like everyone else in here. "And to say, it's just one box." He looked back at the racks, probably filled with guns & drugs now. "MI6 is going to be in heaven with that."

"Did we just make an big move today ?" I asked to everyone, feeling good & better than before, having doing this.

"Of course we did !" Park affirmed to me, putting her hands on my shoulder. "We're going to take this place apart, waiting for the cleaning crew to arrive and after we're done here....." She started, taking a quick look around the warehouse, focused on the racks and then, looking at all of us.....

".....we will go for an drink !"

[veiledpeaches]

chance encounters | part iii: what i mean when i say

Summary: Between pages of meddling friends and societal expectations, all she actually wants is to find a happily ever after with Doyoung, even if it feels like that is no longer possible.

part i x part ii x part iii x part iv x part v x part vi

word count: 4k

GIF originally posted by @lukhei​

Haewon’s day starts briefly like this – a backache verging on cataclysmic, a phone that is ringing off the hook and a thunderous sizzle from the kitchen that could be an auditory representation of Johnny cooking up a storm for no particular reason on a Saturday morning.

“Johnny Suh, you know you’re not allowed to touch the kitchen as long as I am in the house.” She gripes as she walks out of her bedroom upon washing up.

“It’s my house,” Johnny argues, just as he places a fork and knife on either side of the dish he has prepared for her. “And - you’re welcome. Johnny’s homemade blueberry pancakes.”

“Please, you should be thanking me,” she says, sliding all her hair across one shoulder and digging into the pancakes. “Plus, what if I wanted waffles? That would void your compensation.”

“I can make you waffles later if you want,” Johnny winks. “Although, we can argue that pancakes really don’t deserve such discrimination if waffles aren’t accorded the same breakfast ghettoization - they’re practically made of the same ingredients.”

Haewon studies him with narrowed eyes. “That good, huh?”

“Whaddya mean?” Johnny’s expression turns sheepish.

“Ghettoization?” She returns the question, moving her hair behind her shoulder and smirking, “you’re rambling, it’s written all over your face, you sad sad man-child.”

He jauntily sits himself on the chair in front of her, the grin on his face too pleased to be contrite. “It was good.”

“We really ought to soundproof your room, she literally woke me up-”

The lady in question chooses this opportune moment to make her presence known, sauntering up to Haewon and Johnny as she buckles her watch to her wrist. Haewon’s head whips towards Johnny with glaring eyes, while Johnny discreetly mouths an apology back to her. They had laid down the quintessential rule (the rule that makes all ground rules obsolete) when Haewon had moved in in early 2017 - staying over’s only okay after the fifth date; if you want to have a one-night stand, book yourself a hotel. This is Johnny’s second infraction of the year (not that Haewon is counting, she has too much of a life for that). She hears Johnny’s date of four times stop short in front of them.

“Youngho-ah, who’s this lady and what’s she doing eating your pancakes in her underwear?”

Haewon drops her gaze onto herself as Johnny stands to give the accuser a kiss on the temple. It’s clearly just a camisole that’s in question, though given what Johnny’s lover is planning to wear out of the apartment, it’s sort of audacious of her to bring this up when she’s really giving Haewon a run for her money.

“This is Haewon, baby, my roommate. I grew up with her back in the U.S.”

“Ah,” Said lover reaches her hand out to shake Haewon’s in an oddly formal manner, her coffin nails digging slightly into the back of her hand. Haewon guesses the sigh that emits from her lips right after she studies her has more to do with relief than recognition.

Shrugging internally, Haewon sits back down to finish her breakfast as she hears Johnny and his partner-she-can’t-give-a-name-to-‘cause-Johnny-said-no-labels kiss noisily and bid goodbye, as she eyes said partner’s figure. Yeap, Johnny’s definitely a titties man.

“It was a crime of passion, your honor!” Johnny dramatically pleads once the door shuts as Haewon shakes her head vigorously and mutters, “that’s not how you use it”.

“You’re cleaning the apartment the whole of next month,” Haewon insists, before her eyes widen as a thought flits into her head, “oh my God, you guys didn’t do it on the couch, did you-”

“Of course not! I’m not an animal!” Johnny pretends to be scandalized, “and, come on. It was 2am. I couldn’t kick her out of bed - what can I say, I’m a gentleman. A modern romantic.”

“I think you catastrophically misinterpret the word ‘romantic’.”

Despite the inflection, Johnny is, one-hundred percent, a hopeless romantic - something Haewon quickly learnt after witnessing the poor man get dumped over the phone a while after she had relocated to Seoul. Johnny believes in the concept of soulmates, the proverbial ‘one’, and an ancient concept that most people would currently refer to as ‘destiny’. The manifestation of his soulmate pursuit is countless dates and relationships, grandiose expressions of love and a penchant for serenading his lovers with roses from their windows - a gesture not every Korean woman appreciates especially at 11pm on a Thursday night.

“I think I’m gonna marry her, Haewon,” Johnny tells her now, with a sparkle in his eye, “I think she's the one.”

Haewon looks at him disbelievingly. “You’ve been on four dates, John.”

“I know, but it feels so right, you know?” He smiles softly in a moment of clairvoyance, standing up to clear their plates. “Speaking of marrying someone, isn’t there something you need to do on Monday?”

Haewon rolls her eyes. Subtlety has never been his strong suit.

There’s a reason Johnny has been calling Monday D-day for the past week, and repeatedly using phrases that border on annoying such as ‘it’s go time’ and ‘let’s get it’. Monday would mark the return of a highly anticipated Kim Doyoung, and Johnny is adamant that Haewon should tell Doyoung, especially since Inhee has not confessed about what she's done.

“Isn’t it possible that she might want to tell him face-to-face?”

“If it was me,” Johnny straddles the chair in mock confrontation, balancing his arms on the seat. “If this was me, would you be saying something so naïve?”

“But it’s not you-”

“If the conditions were the same, but it was me instead of Doyoung, you know you would tell me in a heartbeat. And I would appreciate it, Haewon, just as he would.”

“You’re not doing this for yourself,” he looks at Haewon with a seriousness that silences her. “Don’t beat yourself up over something you have no reason to. You’re doing it for Doyoung.”

“The moment he reaches work, you march into his office, and you tell him truthfully what you saw. No one can accuse you of anything when you’re just being truthful.”

There’s a sign on the wall at the far right corner of the office that says “There’s no room for losers”. It’s a signature Fulworth saying, especially when things get tough at work. 

Haewon has never felt particularly perturbed by it until now. She can almost hear the enunciation of the word ‘losers’ in his low, gruff voice.

Unlike Johnny’s prediction, Haewon’s will isn’t the only thing stopping her from talking to Doyoung about his fiancée when Monday comes. The issue turns out to be a lot less 1980s-movie-dramatic than they had expected – a case of timing.

Doyoung has been in and out of meetings since he entered the office after lunch.

It’s not even like Haewon has been systematically avoiding him. Doyoung barely had a chance to say hi to her and update her about the situation at Bertsman when he had been whisked away by a very anxious Lee Donghyuck, who had been held in trepidation for the last two weeks due to the declining sales figures. Haewon had laughed, gotten back to the copy she had been working on for Cho Young Jun’s book press release, her stomach lurching at the thought of what she had to do later.

There's no room for losers, the neat cursive print stares back at her from the wall.

It’s only hours later, when the sky has turned pitch black and the hour hand on the clock has pointed to ten, that Haewon begrudgingly creaked her joints into motion as she made her way to the Managing Editor’s office, cursing Johnny and all that he stood for as a person.

“Haewon!” Doyoung’s lips breaks into a smile and stands up suddenly, with only the harsh light from the desk lamp illuminating his face. “I thought I told you to leave at six, I don’t even know when I can leave the office…”

“Doyoung works late every night. We hardly spend much time in the same room anymore. We don’t even talk anymore, about our lives and our work.”

“Boss, you just got back late last night. You should rest.” She tries, “and, well, your fiancée might be waiting up…”

“It’s okay, Inhee understands,” Doyoung laughs, “besides, I sort of have to undo literally everything the Bertsman employees have done. That’s what I’ve been saying, you can’t trust any one of their employees, they don’t do things the way we do,” he smirks.

Haewon smiles softly at him, even if he cannot see, his eyes trailing after the lines on the paper in front of him.

“Ah, but what can I do? I’m just a worker ant.” He flops his arms around, as if mimicking an actual worker ant.

This action doesn’t bring Haewon laughter as she had expected. Instead, her heart feels like it’s been wrung, the sudden tightening in her chest inexplicable. She doesn’t know if it’s a biological reaction, but tears have started to fill her eyes, and there seems to be nothing else she can do but blink them back.

This is the Doyoung that Haewon has fallen in love with, all five foot ten of him, gummy smile and square shoulders, a kind boss and a workaholic - but how real her feelings are doesn’t and cannot negate how ill-placed the same feelings are in their situation. Here he is, looking at her, grinning at her, as her vision blurs. In that moment, she swears she hears something in her break; a small, clean sound, like the snapping of a flower’s stem.

“Oh by the way, you really need to get back to me on the wedding,” he laughs breathily, “I really need that RSVP-”

“I can’t go.” The words leave her before she realizes, breath seeming to return to her lungs temporarily. “I… I can’t attend your wedding.”

His face falls.

“Oh, you have something that day?” His smile doesn’t reach his eyes.

“No, I…” She looks down, licking her lips and inhaling shakily. “I can't attend your wedding, because…”

“Haewon.”

“Because… Because I like you.”

She hears more than sees his reaction, the pen in his hand slipping through his fingers and thudding gently onto the carpeted floor. “Haewon.”

“Because I like you,” her voice is still shaky, but there’s a part of her that’s calmer than ever before. “I can’t attend your wedding.”

She lifts her gaze to meet his, but Doyoung’s expression remains unreadable. She feels her jaw start to quiver, and clenches down on it.

“I like you, Doyoung. I like you so much that I can’t sleep, can’t think. I like you, I want to be with you, but you know what I also want?” She lets out a shaky breath, “I want you to be happy…”

It’s not like a leaky faucet, or a dam breaking. Instead, it’s like the little Dutch boy had pulled his finger out of her chest, because suddenly everything inside her is spilling out at once.

“But I see you everyday,” she shuts her eyes, and the tears flow at their will, “I don’t… know… what to do. Believe me, if I could will these feelings away, I would. I don’t want to feel so pathetic, I don’t want to like you like this.

“But I’ve also realized that I can’t be that… person, who stands on the sidelines and watches as you marry someone else - I can’t, I couldn’t do that to myself. I’m sorry. This is so out of line and you probably don’t want to hear this.” She inhales shakily, shutting her eyes as she pauses. “I’m sorry for telling you this… I just… I just needed you to know.”

Doyoung looks at her as if in a daze, his own lips quivering, until almost immediately, his head falls and he inhales sharply, as if giant invisible scissors had cut off his marionette strings.

“Why… Why now.”

Her eyes widen. “What do you-”

“Why are you telling me this, Haewon?” Doyoung looks at her like she’s missing a point, like she’s the most breakable thing in the world. “What am I supposed to do with this?”

Her eyes sting with fresh tears. She can feel something rising in her throat - a sob, a scream - but she bites it back, shutting her eyes so tightly there are almost tears that refuse to escape. She hates herself for crying, for showing any weakness here, for thinking she ever had a shot with someone like him.

There's no room for losers, but in that moment, she can’t help but feel like she has become one.

It’s Friday, finally the end of the week.

She softly clicks the pen in her hand open and close, drifting in and out as Huang Renjun drones on and on about the press kits they are planning to prepare for the media and why the Marketing Department needed more of the budget to be allocated to them.

This meeting has lasted way too long, and it feels even longer with Doyoung right next to her, the sleeve of his jacket inches away from hers. He's scribbling down notes diligently, making her existence in the meeting obsolete - it’s been like this the whole week, and Haewon is exhausted. She knows what Doyoung is doing, how he’s taking meeting minutes down like someone who doesn’t have an assistant so he doesn’t have to ask her for them later. Despite the promise of putting what happened behind them on Monday, she’s entirely aware that things will never be the same again.

The envelope sitting in her bag is still warm, its contents only freshly printed this morning. She vaguely hears Kim Jungwoo asking a question before all eyes are suddenly turned towards her.

All, but Doyoung's.

She looks around the room, befuddled, while feeling Yuta’s foot nudge hers gently, presumably to get her to speak.

“I’m so sorry,” she finally says.

“Manager Kim asked if you had too much on your plate,” the timid intern next to Kim Jungwoo speaks up, “and if you were willing to undertake more of the comms with Cho Young Jun himself.”

She opens her mouth, surprised, and turns to Kim Jungwoo.

“As we were saying, before you spaced out on us,” he laughs good-naturedly, “we let him read the copy you wrote and he likes it. He specified that he wants to work with you.”

Haewon’s gaze drops to her notebook, where a messily scrawled question blinks back at her. Today or next week? She blinks, momentarily realizing that the decision presented to her now accounted for more in the future than she had thought.

“I… That would be a great opportunity for me, thank you.”

Kim Jungwoo grins. “Don’t thank me, your boss told the boy that you were highly supportive of his work. Of course he would be excited to work with you.”

She turns towards Doyoung, a wide-eyed Doyoung, a Doyoung who only looks back at her now, his eyes not betraying any emotion.

There’s something about placing the envelope on his desk that makes it so official, a breath of fresh air that comes from a gesture that’s so unabashedly melodramatic and passé. Doyoung eyes the envelope warily, clearly this was not something he had imagined.

“Why is it… addressed to me? Why isn’t it in an email?” Doyoung drops his glasses onto his desk, pressing his fingers gently against his eyelids. “Why… What is this, Haewon?”

“I just…” She licks her lips. “I just wanted to make sure you received it, is all.”

Doyoung looks at her for a moment, then gets up and shuts the door of his office, before clicking on the button below his desk, rendering the glass office translucent.

“Tell me, Haewon, what is this about? Is it because of Monday?”

She winces, remembering the state of mess she had reduced herself to that night. The only thing more pathetic than confessing to someone who’s engaged, is confessing to someone who’s engaged while crying.

“No, boss, of course not. I thought we agreed to put it behind us.”

“I thought we did too,” he says, sighing and standing with his hands on his waist. “Then what’s this about? I mean, do you want… a raise? What can I-”

“No no no, please don’t think that way. I applied for a Literary Arts Masters’ at Brown University,” Doyoung’s remains bewildered. “I want to be a writer, and, I want to study for it.”

Doyoung inhales shakily. “I mean, I know you wanted to write, but… You should have told me about this. I would’ve written you a letter of recommendation…”

“Well I got in,” she shrugs and smiles, “and… I want to do it. I’ll be admitted in the fall, so I’m moving soon.”

It’s almost like she can see the gears shifting in Doyoung’s head, the mental calculations as apparent. “Is that what you wanted to tell me on Monday? When you came into my office, is that the, well,” he licks his lips, “more technical reason why you can’t come to my wedding?”

Not entirely, she thinks. “Well, it’s one of them.”

Doyoung settles himself back into his chair, absentmindedly rearranging the stationery on his desk. “I don’t want a new assistant.”

Her heart sinks. “I know you’re stressed. I’m sorry, and… this feels irresponsible, that I didn’t tell you this earlier. Thing is, I didn’t really believe I would get in, and I got my letter so late, so now I only have the next three months…” She pauses, realizing that none of this should be important in the discussion. “That’s why I’m giving you a month’s notice instead of the required two weeks, I’m sorry that this is what I can only leave you with, but I want to help as much as I can. I swear, boss, I’ll get handovers done as best as I can, whether the recruitment is internal or external, I’ll make sure the transition is as smooth as possible for you-”

“No, I mean…” Doyoung stands up, the pinstripes of his suit bouncing against the light as he does, and walks slowly towards Haewon, standing right in front of her.

“I don’t want to lose you.”

If there's anything she'll miss, it's how Doyoung always leaves her breathless. The sincerity in his eyes twinkling like unshed tears, the way he just looks softly at her like this, his lips pursed tightly and making the small, almost unnoticeable scar by the corner of his lips more prominent. This is the Doyoung that makes her heart soar, an unspoken tenderness dancing across his features. But with this Doyoung also comes an unmistakable truth glaring right back at her.

“No one is irreplaceable, Doyoung,” she starts, a lump rising in her throat, “especially not me. And I think it’s clear that this week has proven that we are no longer able to work together properly because of my feelings and the awkwardness that it has caused.”

“I was trying to give you space-”

“I don’t need space, Doyoung!”

“What was I supposed to say? What am I supposed to say, Haewon? I’m engaged!”

He looks at her for a long time, then sighs and turns away exasperatedly, tears darting in his eyes.

And there it is - the bubble that has popped, the pink elephant in the room. Because the truth is, from start to finish, as selfish and morally repugnant as it is, Haewon had foolishly hoped for a future with this man somehow in some way, even when it had never been possible.

“You’re right,” Haewon feels her eyes sting, but she has promised herself that she is not going to cry in front of Doyoung ever again. They aren’t close enough for that.

“No, you’re right, I’m sorry, I don't know what I was expecting, why I said what I said.” She shakes her head, attempting to breathe again.

“Besides, your engagement isn’t the only thing standing in the way of anything happening between us.”

Doyoung looks up immediately. “What do you mean by that?”

Haewon winces and swallows, unwilling to spell it out. “I mean, you don’t… feel the same way, at all.”

There comes a point when things are undeniable and can't be hidden any longer, even from yourself.

“I never should have told you about it,” her voice comes out as a whisper this time, unintentionally intimate.

“I’m sorry - even with everything that I said that day, it only occurred to me after, how truly stupid and inappropriate it was… in the office, no less.” Doyoung begins to shake his head, but she continues. “I don't have an excuse for it, I’m sorry - but I swear I’m not… for the lack of a better word, punishing you or anyone else with my resignation. Even before telling you, I was bent on moving overseas for the degree. So Doyoung, you really don’t have to feel guilty or anything - you don’t owe me anything, I shouldn’t have said anything.

“At the same time… The chance for me to pursue my dream is too rare to give up on.

“You’ve done so well before I came into your life, you’re gonna be okay.”

Doyoung averts his gaze away once again, putting his hands into his pockets, and alternating between resting his weight on his left and right foot.

“You’re wrong, you know, you’ve never been more wrong.”

“I’m sorry?”

He finally looks up, his eyes filled with sadness enough to keep Haewon from taking a step out of his office. Outside, phones are ringing and people are talking, noisy and continuous and completely unaware. But here, there is a Doyoung who looks at her like she could break easily, as he contemplates whether or not the next words have to be said, if at all.

“You said no one is irreplaceable, but you’re irreplaceable to me.”

It’s finally down to the last week of her work - and a part of Haewon feels guilty to admit that it is a relief.

This is what Doyoung and Haewon has been reduced to - two people who would rather send each other emails than talk face-to-face, even if it’s about work. On the bright side - if there is one - the diminished duties mean that Haewon has been given ample time to interview, recruit and train Doyoung’s new assistant - a dogged 25-year-old fresh graduate with a double major in Journalism and Communications who has an unhealthy obsession with cars, whom the younger estrogen-infused female interns label “daddy material”.

“Ready?” Johnny smiles as he shoves his keys in his pants pocket.

She slides her bag across her shoulder and looks at him up and down. “Johnny, you’re not ready.”

“Oh right! Shit,” Johnny mumbles to himself, rushing to his room to get his shirt.

It’s 8.25am, which means that Johnny’s definitely going to be late, since he’ll drop Haewon off at her office first, but Johnny doesn’t really seem to care. She laughs to herself, picking up her phone just as a message notification chimes.

Haewon, I’m so sorry I can’t tell you this myself, but I will be on personal leave for the entire week. I know you’re mostly done with handovers and training Jeno, but I’ll need you to hold the fort for this last week - just check your email, you’ll understand everything. I’m so sorry I can’t be here for your last week. Thank you.

Personal leave? What kind of emergency would-

“Haewon!” Johnny jogs out of his room, his phone and shirt in his hands. “Did you know?”

His eyes are wide with shock, his mouth open. He swallows, taking in Haewon’s equally baffled expression.

“I just got a call from my Mom. The wedding’s off…”

xx

w/n: dear friends, please do not zone out in meetings. it doth not helpeth thee.

also, johnny is a giant teddy bear

come scream at me!! here :-)

[isabeladraws]

this took longer than i wanted to, hopefully you don’t mind! i wanted to make a big thread of random thoughts that came into my head. i decided to answer this way so i can put a cut and people don’t have to read this ridiculously long post!

sunday and beckett pregnancy hcs 🌷👶✨

beckett knows sunday is pregnant before herself. during her period week he knows her mood changes and how horny she sometimes can be. her period is very regular and he knows what to expect and how to comfort her during it. but, it never came. he was busy himself and didn’t realise it until that time of the month was well past them.

“sunday, is everything alright with… you know.. your period?”

“what do you mean?”

“it’s late. your period is never late”

“i think it might be from stress of the games. it’s been madness!”

beckett didn’t seem reassured but he let it go. she knows her body better than he ever could. sunday however was starting to have doubts so she buys a pregnancy test and wouldn’t you freaking know it… it’s positive.

beckett knows when sunday looks at him after she takes that test. he doesn’t even have to see it to believe when she says “you were right… i’m pregant, b”

he hugs her like never before, lifting her off the ground, swaying her in his arms. beckett cries a little, sunday does too. the shock is so big, it wasn’t planned but at the same time, very wanted.

“only beckett harrington to figure out when a girl’s period is late”

“hey, it’s a great few days for said beckett harrington”

“well, too bad they won’t be happening for a while”

“i wouldn’t change a thing, sunday. i love you”

“i love you t- WHAT IF IT’S TWINS BECKETT????!! we cannot handle two babies at once, can we?? omg mom is going to freak out, and atlas… we’re gonna be PARENTS! BECKETT WHY ARE YOU SMILING, YOU NEED TO FREAK OUT WITH ME!!”

they only tell atlas and shreya during the first trimester. sunday knew atlas wouldn’t be able to keep the secret from shreya and shreya would figure it out in 10 minutes anyway. they’re happy to have someone to talk to about it.

it’s the 6 week apointment, sunday had only had a blood test to confirm the pregnancy and passed with flying colors. beckett was with her of course and they were excited to see baby.

the doctor found one baby and they smiled, everything looked healthy and 10 seconds later the doctor is like oh looks like there’s two! oh my mistake, there are three babies in there!

beckett didn’t faint because he was already sitting down. sunday saw her life flash before her eyes.

“what?” said both of them

“yeap, three heartbeats, it’s too early to tell if they might be identical or not”

“are you absolutely sure, doctor?” asked beckett

and the doctor showed them in the ultrassoung machine, three black voids filled with a white dot each and their pulsing hearts. they were having triplets.

i believe pregnancy with multiples need to monitored way more often than ones with just one baby so regular appts for these two. beckett hates missing them but they’re both busy

beckett would still be studying and working freelance (i still have no concrete idea what his job would be, maybe something with writing/research?)

sunday is told to slow things down so she takes a break from the team before quitting altogether 

i haven’t decided on the triplets birthday yet but i’m leaning torwards scorpio/sagittarius season (maybe aries season too?)

beckett and sunday still travel quite a bit 

sunday feels pretty great for the most part, i think the hardest part of her pregnancy is towards the end

beck really wanted to take a photo of sunday each week and see the growth of their babies;  he made a whole album with his thoughts and hopes for their family and gave it to sunday after the babies were born

they travelled to quite a few places during the 9 months, maybe 6 to 7 different locations. sunday being at home more and feeling pretty good during the 2nd trimester they took a few roadtrips to places close to them

atlas and shreya moved out of their shared apt so beckett moved in with sunday right before they found out they were pregnant

i don’t know if they’d be married at this point in time or not

they would have been living together before getting pregnant, sunday would spend most of her time at beckett’s place but she wasn’t “officially” moved in because she travelled quite a bit due to thief and the games 

to me, for some reason, their lives seem hectic and busy af after graduating, everything happens at once for them

getting signed with a thief team, beckett getting acknowledged for his skills and scoring independent jobs and working on his masters, sunday is travelling all the time

i feel like beckett one day, in the midst of all the business, while they were still half asleep in bed was just like “marry me” and sunday thought she was actually dreaming. there was no way this boy was asking her to marry him right now 

“what” she kinda giggled “marry me” he sounded so serious she woke up and sit up

they stayed in silence just staring at each other for a while until they started smilling and the thought really sank in, it was barely morning 

“sunday, marry me” 

“i think i’ll need to hear that again a few more times”

did they elope later that afternoon?? WHO KNOWS 

back to your scheduled programming of pregnancy with triplets:

sunday got real swolen, painfully swolen at some point in time. 

weird cravings of butternut squash everything. beckett became quite good at using it in a variety of recipes

sunday really missed her job during her pregnancy and felt quite lost. she felt her only purpose was to carry these kids around and moan back pain every 5 minutes. 

but she also realised she didn’t want to do thief after becoming a mother. that chapter felt like it was closing for her and she needed to take a step foward into a new career path (i have yet to figure it out)

very cranky and moody sunday. she also hated getting advice from her mom on her pregnancy. it would just annoy her

atlas got real good at getting these two away from each other

god atlas as an AUNT wow

she really started to fear sunday at the end of her pregnancy like... the look sunday would give when she was pissed off ... oof 

atlas and beckett are the only ones sunday wanted with her when it was delivery time

i imagined it was most likely a c-section? would there be more “innovative” ways in the magick world to give birth?? 

moving on that’s not important

beckett studies pregnancy yoga intensely so he can teach sunday

tmi.. or nsfw... sex is pretty fun 

sunday thinks it will be 2 girls and one boy, the girls being identical 

beckett thinks it’s 3 girls

they restored their baby blanket atlas found and used it in the nursery

sunday and beckett did not find out the sexes of the babies until birth

(it was a bet. sunday was actually the one that was DYING to find out and lost)

shreya was the only one that guessed correctly (2 boys 1 girl) 

bougie ass baby gifts from shreya. special one of a kind super gentle lotion, shampoo. baby shoes, oils and butters for stretch marks, blankets with their names on it, literally you name it

there’s something about baths... sunday would never take them but it became nighttime ritual at some point

beckett is very aware of people’s names now that he has to name 3 kids and is VERY opinionated 

he even starts to question his name, sunday’s name, everyone else around him “you have a such a weird name sunday, what was theia thinking” “COME SAY THAT TO YOUR PREGNANT WIFE’S FACE, HARRINGTON”

sunday needs to pull a break on that for a while so they stop throwing name ideas for a few weeks 

they agree on marlow first, sunday suggests it and beckett isn’t much of a fan until he finds himself using it in his head. when he sees his baby boy he knows it’s his name 

they had one unexpected visit from the sources to congratulate sunday and beckett on the pregnancy and marriage. i’m pretty sure gemma called selene’s wood attunement.

sunday does not want anyone touching her belly but she’s kinda anxious about it so atlas is always ready to fight somebody’s hand off

god can u imagine these sisters coming this far in their lives, sunday is going to be a mother, atlas an aunt how happy atlas is to be able to see a future she thought would be lost after so many years of running from raife and the heartache and loss. I AM EMOTIONAL. 

doting aunt atlas like she SPOILS these kids to death

katrina might have a kid of her own at this point in time, since she’s older than beckett? sunday would appreciate her advice way more in comparision to her mother’s. (i could also see katrina not wanting kids but i don’t know if she has hinted either way)

beckett’s family has been a bit harsh when it comes to sunday’s job but she wins everyone over eventually so they do find themselves falling in love with her. they find sunday so warm and kind and easy to talk to. his parents are so happy to be grandparents of three kids no less, and are prepared to spoil them to bits. 

i can see her with the harringtons spending the summer together, his mother talking about when beckett was a baby himself which seemed not that long ago. 

the boys share a room in their grandparent’s house while selene has one of her own once they’re about 5/6 years old. while they’re toddlers, they do sleep in the same room together. 

they really do dote on these kids. beckett has never seen them this affectionate before in his life. 

beckett’s father and jett bond very nicely. both are a fan of sports. 

zeph and griff give sunday and beck so many delicious homecooked meals they can freeze for after birth but also to eat whenever they want. 

zeph got the tendency of showing up like “my abuela cooked extra this week so i thought i’d give you some for dinner”

they do not complain once. the meals are delicious

zeph really enjoys babysitting the kiddos, especially as they get a bit older and start to waddle around, speaking gibberish you understand but not really. the kids are really impressed by his water tricks. bath time is a mess (with him and in general tbh)

beckett and sunday have one big fight during the pregnancy. sunday is feeling lost and weird about her career, job, path in general and beckett always has something to say instead of just listening which frustrates them both. they fight all day the first time but can’t go to sleep angry so they talk it out during the night. neither of them has much sleep but they settle things down, beckett just listens and explains where he came from, apolagizes, sunday too, they figure it out in the end. this comes up again but sunday just points it out to him what he’s doing and he’s like “my bad, babe”. 

sunday eats pretty much plant-based during the pregnancy apart from having a few eggs here and there. she has this aversion of meat, it sounds disgusting to her (marlow’s influence?) 

beckett sings to the babies a lot, sunday falls asleep to it often

i can see beckett having choir lessons when he was younger and actually being a pretty good vocalist

atlas buys baby things ALL THE TIME. goes jogging, sees a random store “oh sunday i found this dumb ass onesie, here” “i saw this arylu plushie and thought the kids would like it” “this muslin cloth has cat butts on it, let me get that 1 for each kid” sunday literally doesn’t need to buy anything because everyone is buying them baby stuff 24/7 

shreya planned the baby shower where they basically just asked for diappers and ended up with high-tech baby stuff, beckett was actually pretty intrigued by some of them

massages. everyone that goes into that apt just sees beckett rubbing some lotion on sunday and massaging some area in her body, feet, back, legs. towards the end it’s a must if sunday wants to walk around for more than 20 minutes without being in pain.

if you finished reading this, congratulations! here, have a 🍄.

this is already so freaking long and even though i feel like i could get some more hc’s going i’m gonna stop here and save any that i find important for another post. let me know what you guys think and don’t mind the typos too much  I’M SICK🙈

[emiisanxious]

Surprise is the WORST

Archive of Our Own Link

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Category: Gen

Fandom: Sanders Sides (Web Series)

Additional Tags:

Anxiety | Virgil Sanders' Birthday

Angst with a Happy Ending

Panic Attacks

Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders

Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders

Summary: “Roman had a BAD idea, a really bad idea, and while everyone agreed with that, it put Virgil in a bad frame of his mind, till he had a panic attack.

OR: I'm bad at doing a summary and this is a Birthday fic!

Although this fic is part of a series, it doesn't need to read the previous chapters. But it's more understandable why Janus and Remus are more different.

[Series: Virgil's Past and Future - Fics: Ignorance, Next Day in Ignorance, Sick Day]”

Note: But but I needed to do a Birthday fic for Virgil, soooo here it's!

For once, he wasn't sure how he felt about today. No one could say when exactly Thomas started to have Anxiety, so he didn't have a birth date. Although, he would question if traits should have a birth date since they are not human? But the fanders and Thomas decided that today was his birthday.

So he wasn't sure how he felt today.

He was rolling on his bed thinking about it; in theory, it was already his birthday. After all, it was 4 in the morning, but no one was awake. He decided to gets up and goes to the kitchen so he could drink some water.

Should he be happy? Or should he ignore it and think about it like any other day? It was confusing and weird. Last year his birthday present was doing a Halloween-themed video on Christmas eve, Virgil honestly had way too much fun dressing as a vampire.

And the year before? It was that weird 12 days of Christmas song that Roman created, even though he won't admit it, that was fun. As they said, it was a video to commemorate their first Christmas together.

But this year? This year they didn't have anything planned, sure Thomas would do a live stream for patreons, and that was enough for Virgil to feel anxious and be awake so late in the night. But his family? They didn't say anything about it. They weren't thinking about doing anything at all, in all honesty, they were preparing a Christmas party. After all, it would be with Janus and Remus.

Shaking his head once, trying to dispel whatever he was thinking, he got up from --- When he sat down in the sink? And walked back to his room, sure he was thinking way too much like always. Throwing himself in the bed, way too lazy to change his clothes or undo his makeup, he snaps his fingers, and with that, he was already in pajamas and a clean face.

"I'm thinking way too much... When did I start to care about birthdays?" He says at his room, as he closes his eyes, picking his earbuds and phone, playing some music. "Time to sleep." Even though he said that it would take at least one more hour till he finally was sleeping.

-----

"Are we really doing that?"

"Yes! Of course, we are!"

"But won't he feel more anxious?"

"He will be anxious anyway because of the live stream."

"Yeah... But..."

"It's not like we are harming him."

"But he will be anxious! Isn't that a good reason not to do this?"

"Just... Try to relax, okay? He will like it... In the end."

"Okay... Don't let me alone then."

"We never intended to."

-----

"Viiiirgiiiiiiiiil ~!"

A singing voice was knocking and almost yelling outside of his door as he growls, slowly waking up. "WHAT?!" He was a bit annoyed by been awake with so much happiness at what? 9 am? "It's 9 am ROMAN!"

"I know, Emo." Roman opened the door and was now leaning on the door frame, crossing his arms over his chest. "But we need you to wake up. Thomas needs to prepare for the living stream."

"He can do that without me. Just let me sleep a bit more." He says as he pulls the blanket over his head, trying to hide from the light coming from his door.

"Won't you eat something for breakfast?"

"Roman, I stayed awake till 5 am I barely had 4 hours sleep. If you don't want me freaking out during the live stream and making Thomas anxious all day, you better let me sleep!" Virgil was annoyed, almost slipping on his tempest tongue.

"Fiiiiiiiiiine. Padre said he would let something for you to eat on the fridge." With that Roman was out of his room, closing the door.

Sadly, that was enough for him to wake up. He was tensed and annoyed, and sure he wasn't going to be able to sleep back. A loud growl as he gets up and starts to do his morning routine.

That was also enough for him to start to spiral in thoughts once again about his birthday. That is how he messed up doing his make up twice, once applying the eyeshadow how it was supposed to be used, over his eyes. And the second time, he just forgot to smudge it, he remembered when he was holding the doorknob to go out. The second time was more easy to fix.

He put on his headphones instead of his earbuds, as he goes out of his room, playing some punk music since if he needs to stay awake all day, he might as well. Virgil ignored everyone who tried to say anything to him till he did his coffee and drink it.

Honestly, he tried to ignore the spiraling thoughts as he finishes drinking his coffee, sitting in the chair. A small tap on his shoulder was enough for him to remember to take out the headphones. "Morning Pat."

The man was smiling softly. "Morning kiddo. Did Roman woke you up?"

"Yeah... Something about the live stream..." Virgil says in an annoyed tone.

"Well, I'm sure he totally did that not on purpose." Deceit said as he gets in the kitchen. Picking up another cup of coffee. "Also, morning Virgil."

"Morning Jan." He sighs again as he yawns. "Yeah... I figured that much."

"Oh kiddo, maybe you should try to sleep a bit more later?"

"Will do... Maybe a nap, later in the day." He frowns a bit, sure for now that Patton would at least remember and comment about it, right? Or was he thinking so selfish about himself? It was Patton! He would remember, right? Even Janus remembered when he was still on the Dark side.

"Virge? Can you help me decorate the Christmas Tree?" Morality asked casually, breaking his spiraling thoughts. "Janus and I, are in charge of that, while Logan is busy helping Thomas with the tech stuff. Roman and Remus are brainstorming."

"Sure." Right he forgot, his birthday is like five days before Christmas Eve, of course, they would be more focussed on decorating and preparing for that! After all, it would be their first Christmas with Remus and Janus. With a small sigh, he didn't mind, he was the one who said he preferred not to do a big deal over things. So why he felt so... Sad?

After his breakfast, he did help Patton and Janus decorate the tree, this year they also created yellow and lime greens decorations since now they had two new members in the family. He was free after lunch, which did him goes back to his bedroom.

Pulling the blanket over his head, he felt bad and selfish, he felt... Sad. Forgotten. That wasn't good. Even though Remus, Roman, and Logan were back during lunch, they also didn't say anything. He won't mind the awkward 'happy birthday' wishes, at least he would know that they remembered.

But... Remember what? The first time he appeared? How did Roman, Lily, and Thomas want to get rid of him? Or to tune him down. Or how bad he was. Who would want to remember that? Who would want him here in the first place?!

Was that their way to show that they didn't care about him? Nooooo... They totally did care about him! Otherwise, Roman wouldn't wake him up, or Patton wouldn't want his company to decorate the tree.

He could see the shadows in his room getting darker, he didn't need to get up to figure out that his eyeshadow was also darker. "Better sleep..." Virgil sighs at that as he closes his eyes, not bothering with anything else. He would do the live stream, and then he would just forget this day.

-----

"I'm not so sure this is a good idea..."

"I'm inclined to agree with him."

"You two are just worrying too much!"

"Yeap! He will be fiiiiine."

"Hm... You know I don't think this is a good idea either..."

"OH MY GOD! You three are worrying too much! He will love the surprise! Just think that!"

"This is a mistake isn't it?"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"I will talk with Thomas."

"Nooooooo!"

"Yes! If he agrees we keep this, if not we will just try to fix the situation."

"He is sleeping..."

"You won't want to wake him up."

"If we need to fix the situation then we will do after he wakes up."

"I told you it was a bad idea."

"It's a marvelous idea!"

"I think he will agree with me when he finds out."

"Of course he will! Making him anxious about his birthday is NOT something nice!"

"Oh, please, he is anxious all the time. It will be fine."

-----

When he woke up later, he felt groggy, he wasn't sure what time was, as he sits on the bed. Yawning as he picks up his phone. Oh, nice he was late for the stream! It was already 5 pm! Why didn't no one... They didn't care about him, did they? At the realization, he just throws himself back at the bed, not caring about it. If they didn't care about him why he would go there?

Instead, he just stayed there. Laying on the bed, scrolling on his phone, happy birthday wishes on the fandom, he saw fan arts, he also read some fanfics. It was fun, to see how the fanders would celebrate his birthday. Maybe he should go to imagination visit Emile and Remy, but he couldn't bring himself to do that.

In reality, he couldn't bring himself to go out again, he didn't want to see anyone, he felt hurt and sad that no one remembered his birthday.

-----

"Virgil didn't wake up yet?" Thomas asked as he looked at Logan.

"Well, if he did wake up he didn't go out of his room." The logical side answered as he fixes his glasses.

"I told you that was not a good idea!" Patton said as he was holding one hand on Janus's arms, trying very hard not to show how sad he was.

"Well, I agreed with Patton after breakfast." Janus sighs as he looks at them. "But the Twins."

"HEY! It's a fabulous idea! He will love it when he sees it!" Roman says as he puts a hand over his heart offended.

"He will love all the decorations! It will be like Halloween!" Remus says happily that he was able to work with gore and blood decorations.

"That is not the issue here." Thomas sighs.

"How are you, Thomas?" Logan asked curiously.

"If you're asking if he ducked out, no, he didn't. He is still around. I still feel anxious about the live-stream. And all. Oh... I need to go!" Thomas says. "Break is over."

"Okay." Patton and Janus weren't looking happy. As both took parental figures they were still worried about Virgil.

"Well, I will finish my gift! While one of you go pick him up!" Roman says happily as he sinks out.

"Oh Oh! I will go there and make sure all the decorations are right then!" Remus was hyped as he sinks out as well.

Logan, Patton, and Janus sigh at that. "Logan can you...?" Patton asked with a small sad sigh.

"Yes, you both try to be happy that is ending at least." Logic says as he starts to walk towards the purple door.

Patton and Janus sighed at each other, honestly, that was a dumb idea. Both knew that mostly because Patton's emotions was been a bit pessimistic, probably was Virgil not controlling his powers, and Janus was used to dealing with Anxiety before so he knew how the other disliked surprises.

-----

"Virgil?" Logan knocked at the other's door, he felt a bit more cold than normal.

"One sec." He was rolling on his bed as he gets up and walks towards the door, opening it. At his point, he didn't care if his room was darker and colder than normal. "Sup specs. What you want?" His eyeshadow was darker, as he was affected by his room more.

The navy trait frowned at the vision, blinking a few seconds. "Are you okay?"

"Totally." He lied as he shrugs.

Logan didn't believe it but he let it go. "I need your assistance in the imagination if you up to it?" He wasn't the type to stall so Logan was straight to the point.

Virgil tilted his head to the side. "Sure." He closes his door and lets the headphones around his neck as he follows Logan around. At this exact time, he felt depressed and honestly tired from thinking how much the fanders were nicer to remember his birthday than his family.

The walk was silent, he wasn't sure what he wanted to talk with Logan and neither if he should tell anything. A few moments later, they were in a darker room, and soon he felt more anxious and aware. "Logan? Are we... In the right place?" Fear started to creepy on him.

"Yes. We are."

His vision wasn't adapting to the darkness, slowly he could feel fear and his breathing was starting to uneven. Did they finally got tired of him and wanted to... Make him disappear? Or to merge with the subconscious? No... He was too important for that... Right?

He was lost in thoughts, but he couldn't miss the flash of light and everyone yelling: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

His lips paled, as he fell hard on his knees, holding a hand over his chest, he wasn't able to breathe, his vision was blurry with dizziness and he was trying very hard not to cry.

"I told you it was a bad idea!" Janus said pissed, as he walked towards Virgil. "Vee, look at me. Hey!" Deceit moved his hands in front of Virgil. "Look at me!"

He did that, although he wasn't able to focus exactly on the half-snake face.

"Can I touch you?" As the yellow side receives a nod, he moved his hand to pick the other, sitting on the floor with him in his lap. Hugging him. "Hey close your eyes and follow my breath right?" Another nod as Janus started to count the breathing pattern and as well exaggerating his breathing. "You're doing great Vee. Keep going."

He focused his sense towards Deceit, following his breathing, everything felt numb, he could barely hear Patton scolding the twins. Logan couldn't say anything as he just watched. "Virgil?" A few minutes later he was back to normal, as he moves his eyes to Janus. "Are you okay?"

"Mhm... I guess?" He still felt anxious, he still felt weird, and he still had a lot of thoughts in his mind. "You all didn't... forget?"

"No, Vee. We could never." Janus said as gently as possible.

"So... You all don't wanna make me... Disappear? Or... Hate me? Or or..." Virgil's voice falls in silence as he tries to tell out his thoughts.

"NO!" Deceit yelled, although it did scare Virgil. "Sorry, I didn't want to scare you." With that, he hugged the anxious closer and tighter. "No Virgil, whatever you thought today, we don't want to. We care about you, we love you."

"But..."

"I'm sorry kiddo." Patton finished scolding the twins. "Roman and Remus said it was a good idea to fake we forgot your birthday... While they planned a surprise party. We told them it wasn't a good idea but they didn't listen."

"We are sorry..." The twins were looking at the floor, embarrassed. "We thought... If you don't like it we can leave or..."

It took several minutes, for everything to be explained and to get to the point where Virgil was stable enough to understand and calmer. After that Janus helped him to get up on his feet. Logan and Patton weren't sure what they should do, and the twins were still looking embarrassed.

"I... Okay... Can we... Just... Celebrate it today and... Talk about it tomorrow? I can be angry and annoyed with this tomorrow... Right now... I think it would be better if I..." Virgil was lost in words as he tries to explain.

"Of course we can!" Patton smiled at that, as he moves to let Virgil look around.

It was a room with black walls, the ceiling was decorated with moon and stars, meanwhile, the walls and the furniture were based in the Victorian Era, it was remarkably edgy, they avoided spider objects but he could see the cobwebs decorating the room.

He smiled at that, even the cake and the sweets were in black and purple, bringing a sense of Halloween in the middle of Christmas time. "Let me guess? Patton did the cake, Janus did the sweets and both decorated it."

Patton and Janus smiled and nodded.

"Logan helped to decorate the ceiling because he wouldn't like the wrong representation, and with the furniture. While Remus summoned it and helped decorate with cobwebs. I bet he also used the spiders in my room to do that."

Both also nodded.

"And Roman had the idea and put it together, yelling and saying who was late with what. And helped to create the room?"

Everyone laughed at that. "Hey! I didn't yell!" Roman sounded offended at that. "You was bossy." Remus pointed out. "Even though we all were doing things..."

Virgil looked at them arguing like brothers and then around, he could see the thoughts behind the decoration and was chuckling at that. "Right both of you shut up." His family was there and everything was like he dreamed about. "Thanks. I loved it." Sincerity as he turns to them. "Now let's party!"

He honestly wasn't the type to party, but... He wanted to enjoy it. He cared about the birthday and if his family wanted to celebrate it with him, so why not? He could loosen up and enjoy it, the rest of the night was fun, Janus was taking pictures instead of participating but sometimes he would be dragged to play. They played, they laughed, forgetting all the problems for a moment and... Just enjoy the celebration.

"Hey, did you know today is also National Emo Day?" Logan said nonchalantly.

"Whaaaaaaaat?!" Janus and Patton were surprised by that.

"Oh, that makes sense! It's Emo day! After all, it's Virgil's Birthday!" Roman said happily about that.

"Uff... That was bad." Virgil says while eating a sweet. He couldn't deny that he felt happy to know about it as his eyeshadows were a constant purple now, that he felt really happy with the party.

[nincompoopydoo]

Trouble Man

Pairing: Sam Wilson x reader Words: 1.5k Summary: You and Sam Wilson are neighbors. Never spoke a word a to one another but somewhat developed an unhealthy crush on each other. As a series of unfortunate events that began with the burning of spaghetti, you find yourself entangled in a mess of the appreciation for Marvin Gaye and your fear of cockroaches with the very man himself. Note: Oooo an unrequested Sam Wilson one shot? Yeap, that’s right darlings. Been wanting to write one for awhile now. Not exactly my best but it’s alright. Cute cute and fluffy stuff. Enjoy xo [ REWRITTEN ON 14/08/2021 ] Masterlist

Spaghetti. Should be easy enough.

Ah, words of the once optimist, now turned depressing pessimist. You told yourself that with a rather annoying cheery voice that echoed in your head before everything went swooping down the metaphorical hill and into the trash. You don’t do too well with simple distractions, for what you first thought was to lighten up the mood in your gloomy kitchen by singing along to an ultimate Marvin Gaye playlist.

Much to your embarrassment, you may have forgotten how sound travels far too easily, with the kitchen window opened for the whole neighborhood to hear your lovely singing. Someone might call the police, either out of spite of your contribution to noise pollution or they might think someone was being murdered, muffled by soul music.

The plate of Spaghetti stares at you mockingly from the kitchen counter, strands grazed in an odd shade of brown. Spaghetti is not supposed to be that shade of brown. With a pathetic scowl upon your lips, you gaze at the plate, wishing it smelled as good as it did. The thought of eating resides in your mind, wondering if you should just close your nose and power through the dish itself until you’re sick or throw it in the trash and feed several stray cats of D.C. when it reaches the landfill. By the looks of it, the cats probably don’t even want to eat it anyway.

You worked at a hamburger joint downtown for heaven’s sake; cooking hamburgers might as well be your only decent skill. Nevertheless, with a heavy sigh, you plopped the spaghetti into the trash. The plastic bag unceremoniously crinkles at impact as you fight back a wince.

So much for coming home early to prepare dinner. For yourself. Damn, you’re lonely. And as far as you’re concerned, only lonely people deserve microwaved leftovers from a week ago that have been sitting in the fridge for far too long. Overhead, Cleo's Apartment begins to play.

Goddamn it, Marvin Gaye.

Minutes ago, Sam Wilson had returned home from the VA, and through the jingles of his keys whilst unlocking his front door, the familiar tune of What’s Going On glides its way to his ears, ringing with the melody of your singing. He knows it’s you because as much as you don’t realize it, you sing in the kitchen very often. It’s unpleasant but he doesn’t complain because your taste in music speaks to him on another level, another plane of existence. Ever since you moved in after the previous owner passed, you had his whole heart with a single glance and a shy wave.

Courage was easy, having built that up during his military days. Yet, now that’s over, he finds himself forgetting his technique in approaching beautiful people. Deep down he knows it. Sam needs to try to talk to you. Just talking, not asking you out. That’s too much, for now.

His analytical side itches to take over—he needs a plan because walking up to your doorstep and hoping to spark up some sort of sudden conversation with you isn’t going to turn out well. So, he maps it out in his head, playing each possible scenario like he always does in bed, half-awake, wishing he had the guts to talk to you when he bumped into you at the grocery store or at the hamburger joint you work at. Coincidences usually don’t play out in his favor so, forcing it sounds like it would have a better outcome. He will wait until it’s 9:30, there’s a possibility you will be taking out the trash. Then, he’ll make his move. Hopefully.

Totally not creepy.

—

Sometimes, the universe listens. It especially listens to the thoughts of the lonely and then, some supernatural cosmic decision is made to guide two lonely beings to each other. It’s rare but happens. People call it fate. Now, fate seems to work in tandem with a certain man named Sam, who has fallen for his neighbor, who seems to feel the same way.

There’s hardly any rubbish in the trash bag within his grasp but he makes it a point to walk across the lawn despite the humidity in hopes of seeing you. Then, he hears the creaking of your front door swinging open and slamming shut. Though, all attempts to act casual fails when he ignores his previous resistance to turn and glance your way.

There you were, in an oversized Shania Twain shirt paired with track shorts—it’s very short. I mean, it’s summer after all. No one’s complaining. He’s certainly not complaining. His breath hitches when you meet his gaze, smiling sheepishly. Sam wonders if your cheeks are always this crimson and rosy. You smile, intending to hide your growing blush, heat blooming in your chest as you admire how he looks under the yellow hues of the street light, beautifully carving the structure of his face.

Then, the impossible happened.

“So, you like Marvin Gaye?” he spoke with a little too much enthusiasm. You looked at him with a wide-eyed gaze, completely caught off guard by his sudden question. Your mind is now only filled with the panic of him hearing you sing—it’s your biggest fear. Sam realizes his question may have been a little too obstructive in terms of privacy. Bad idea, really bad idea. “Sorry, just forget I ever said that. I didn’t mean to—"

"No, no. I mean, yeah, I do like Marvin Gaye. I love Marvin Gaye actually,” you cut him off in a somewhat desperate attempt to not scare him off because, in truth, you really want to talk to him. You have been meaning to for a while now. You purse your lips, deciding that elaboration is worth the risk, “Trouble Man is one of my favorites."

It’s risky because it’s an unpopular opinion and the irrational side of you is afraid that because of your weird and maybe obscure taste in music might as well turn him off. Yet, he’s not running now. Instead, Sam blinks, mouth slightly agape. A sentence runs through his mind, a quiet voice, a whisper: I think I might marry you if you don’t stop being so perfect.

Sam beams at you, "You like Trouble Man?” he asks, voice laced with amusement.

You return a smile, “Yeah, I do. It’s probably the best—OH MY GOD—” Your sudden scream cuts through the white noise of the night like a searing knife when you spot a cockroach crawling up the trash can. You dropped the trash bag on the ground and started to stagger backward.

Sam feels bad for laughing.

“Hey! Quit laughing and help me get rid of it,” you shriek, watching the insect crawl around with a mortified look. Sam snorts at your sudden burst of command. "Okay, okay. But I’m not killing it.” Turns out that isn’t enough to calm your nerves and your fear of cockroaches. “Excuse me, sir, you HAVE to slay the beast!” you yelled dramatically. He chuckles with great amusement, swiftly plucking it with his bare hands before it could run, “Now, let’s not murder our new friend here, Bernie.” He watches your face morph into an unamused look, “Bernie? Like the politician?” Sam merely hums, “Yeah. Like the politician.”

Then, he’s walking towards you, purposefully dangling poor Bernie within his grasp. You stagger in your step, yelping at the sight of Sam nearing you. “Alright, alright. I’ll get rid of Bernie,” he says through attempted suppressed laughs, flicking Bernie across the road. You can finally breathe but your eyes remain wide. “And what if he comes back?”

Sam turns to you as you return to stand at your original spot as you cautiously scan the trash bin for any more unwanted pests. He notices a stray strand of your hair, falling against your cheek. He resists the urge to push back behind your ear, reminding himself to stay casual and stay cool. "Well, you know where to find me.” He sends a somewhat smooth wink your way. You go absolutely red.

Silence once again and the two of you have seemed to have caught yourselves in some awkward dance of pining and wanting to be close to each other. Then, Sam clears his throat, deciding to speak first before he misses the opportunity once more. “I was wondering if you wanna, you know, uh, come by for a drink sometime?” It’s a simple question, really. But, Sam doesn’t know why you make him so nervous. Maybe, it’s because you’re looking at him like you can see right through him. His mind starts to wonder, overthinking once more. “I mean, if you don’t drink, it’s okay. We can have something else. I have orange juice, I think. Snacks?—”

“Now?” you stop his rambling, feeling your brain equally shutting down because you’re very confused about the whole situation. Sam pauses, slightly hesitant, “Yeah, sure. If you want to. I mean, you have work tomorrow and it’s late and—”

“Yeah, that’ll be great.” you interrupt him again, the curve of your lips widening by the second. “And maybe, we could listen to some Marvin Gaye.” You don’t exactly know what you meant or hinted but neither does he, too distracted to notice the context of your words because you’re here, smiling at him.