#Yeah this seems about right

[alasarys]

Tagged by the inimitable @apeacebone 💕

first line game

rules: list the first line of your last 10 posted fics and see if there's a pattern 🧐

It's not what George was looking for in the cupboard, behind plastic containers of Posca pens and sketchbooks, neatly packed CDJs and a frankly astonishing number of shoeboxes, at least half of which, it turns out, are filled with beaded bracelets from fans.

One day Lando would love to be able to say, "This is my husband, George".

“This one?”

He gets his nipples pierced at the start of the winter break.

Daniel's buzzing.

He knows Lando makes it out of the car by himself because Marcus keeps telling him.

"Did he tell you," says Alex, leaning conspiratorially closer to Daniel but loud enough that it's obviously meant for George to hear, "that he had a poster of you on his wall?"

He hadn't really put too much thought into what fame would be like before he signed the contract.

“Wrong place, wrong time.”

'Désolé,' whispers Charles in between kisses.

(I am likewise including tumblr prompts and posts of unfinished fic because otherwise we're in real trouble, Houston)

Largely short and sweet, and generally coming in late (unless it involves Lando getting his nipples pierced, in which case I'm absolutely leading with that. Anon, I do wish you would reveal yourself because hnnngghhhh ...)

I'm tagging @dottieapple, @firemanseb, @no-regrets-only-memories, and @landoisokay if you haven't already and want to.

[explodcor]

"I'd be more surprised if the damn nerd got anything less than perfect," Katsuki snorted. "Deku has an encyclopedia written on me."

[bee-whistler]

Good grief. Someone from church gave me a freaking plant. Why do people do things like that? Why assume someone wants another responsibility as a present?

Everyone says, “It’s so sad to give flowers, they always die!” News flash, ALL FLOWERS DIE. You just have them in a vase.

Now I get to watch an entire plant die slowly instead. I get to see it wither despite my best efforts to remember to water it when I can barely keep track of basic daily functions.

People act like you’re a big grumpy if you don’t like gifts like this but I argue that you handed me an ornamental South African albatross from the grocery store and now I have to figure out what to do with it. And you knew I was moving soon so I gotta lug this… what, this… ornithogalum… in a stoneware pitcher, yet, across three states. And I have to thank you for it.

It shouldn’t be a big deal but people don’t think things through! I am trying to choose a house in a state none of us wants to live in and you think I need one more responsibility. Even a little one. One last bloody straw. Maybe it’s the lack of thought that counts, huh?

Happy f***ing mother’s day.

Please note thay I complain here so that I don’t dump it on the poor, soft-hearted soul who legit thinks she just gave me the most thoughtful, heartfelt Mother’s Day/going away present ever, for some reason. I’m not actually that fond of this holiday anyway.

[sonboyadam]

I posted 1,098 times in 2022

That's 24 more posts than 2021!

90 posts created (8%)

1,008 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@reputayswift

@faeparrish

@brotherslynchs

@emmerrr

@ffrancisforever

I tagged 667 of my posts in 2022

Only 39% of my posts had no tags

#art - 132 posts

#trc - 86 posts

#dreamer trilogy - 66 posts

#pynch - 46 posts

#ronan lynch - 42 posts

#greywaren spoilers - 41 posts

#greywaren - 37 posts

#adam parrish - 21 posts

#photography - 15 posts

#heartstopper - 13 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#its like my job is not that bad but it just makes me feel stuck and that im not progressing in stuff that i actually want to get better

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

BROTHERS AND ALL THAT HUH

21 notes - Posted October 18, 2022

#4

Parallels and all that huh

97 notes - Posted October 21, 2022

#3

they are so funny together pls

100 notes - Posted October 21, 2022

#2

AND THEY WERE BROTHERS

109 notes - Posted October 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Maybe he was wrong. He could be wrong

521 notes - Posted October 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[lover-of-skellies]

tumblr sexyman kin assingment quiz

[ssstardust3001]

Can You Fight God?

[hybrid-royalty]

Sex Values

Stolen from @elenaes

[jac-atlastadragon]

This is the only perfect poll result on this Hellsite!

Canon Sapphic Characters Tournament Final Round

[beansnpeets]

Thinking about human behaviour compared to animal behaviour again.

It's funny to hear people (the older gens) complaining that "kids these days are lazy, they don't wanna work, etc." What do we get for busting our asses? There is no reward. Many will never own homes. Many are unemployed, trying to find work, and nobody will hire them because they don't have a million years experience and a masters degree OR they want people to work for minimum wage??? People are giving up because there is no reward. Why would we do all this for nothing?

Same as a dog that won't recall when you haven't reinforced it with a reward. Your dog isn't going to do what you tell it to if there is no incentive. No, your dog SHOULDN'T listen just because you're boss and it should respect you. That isn't how it works. They don't think that way. And honestly neither do people.

When we went hiking Sprocket wasn't always taking treats gently from me when I recalled her or she checked in and I rewarded and my one friend told me to stop giving her treats. I told him I won't work for free so why should she. And he said "I do things for free all the time because I want to do them," and I didn't say it then, but I wish I had, but if you like doing it, that's the incentive. It's a self-rewarding behaviour. Just like anything else a dog does, like chasing a squirrel or sniffing things or getting into the trash. Heeling instead of going off to sniff stuff or recalling off of something they want to chase is something you have to reinforce. You have to give them something better so they make the choice you want them to make. They won't make it just because they *respect* you. They won't willingly recall off of exciting prey out of RESPECT. You need to give them a tangible reward for that. You cannot possibly expect your dog to listen just because and then punish them for disobeying you.

Yeah, Sprocket bit my fingers a couple times. The one time pretty hard. But she was excited. She knows how to take gently and I reminded her and she tried very hard to be gentle most of the time. I wasn't going to stop rewarding her for checking in with me and recalling while we were off leash hiking in the woods. I want her to know that coming back to me is good and in the event of an emergency I would like her to not blow me off.

[mammalsofaction]

Something incredibly annoying when dealing with non-pnf stans when discussing with PnF is discussion of Candace being accidentally gaslit by her mother. In that they assume everyone is in on the fact to make Candace feel like she's crazy. NOBODY ELSE is doing that. In fact, nobody BUT Candace seems to understand the whole brunt of the situation.

The backyard gang are not "bullying" Candace or keeping her from telling her mom. In fact, they tell Linda about it themselves MULTIPLE TIMES. They talk about it off handedly a bunch of times too. Theyre just also 10, and Linda thinks it's part of the "games". She thinks theyre being imaginative. Theyre NOT. The backyard gang is NOT lying to her, and they are NOT perpetuating the assumption that Candace is crazy. Linda just doesnt believe them. The backyard gang doesn't KNOW this. THEY ALL THINK LINDA KNOWS.

LAWRENCE is not perpetuating the idea that Candace is crazy. He ALSO thinks Linda knows. HE HAS SEEN the backyard projects a bunch of times, and HE TELLS Linda about them TOO. However, and this is important, he only ever sees the cute, relaxed and sweet projects, and never the potentially dangerous or fatal ones, so he thinks Candace is being anxious and overprotective. Which she is, but that's a separate issue. LAWRENCE is not lying. HE thinks Linda knows.

JEREMY has seen the projects and parties. He talks about them at length, and how cool Phineas and Ferb are! He's never lied. He thinks Linda knows.

STACY has seen the projects and parties. She FREQUENTLY vouches for Candace. But shes Candace's best friend, so of course Linda doesnt believe her.

EVERYBODY EITHER THINKS LINDA ALREADY KNOWS, OR HAVE CLOSE ATTACHMENTS TO CANDACE SO LINDA DOESNT BELIEVE THEM ANYWAY.

Linda isnt doing it on purpose. NOBODY is lying.

DO i think Linda should believe her daughter now and then? And should Lawrence stick up for her more? Of course I do. But it's not malicious. Just....a bit neglectful. But Candace's assumption that everyone is against her is largely perpetuated in her own head and anxieties and miseries. She ISN'T alone. People ARE on her side, and she has more allies than she thinks. There are MULTIPLE episodes where Phineas and Ferb try to bust THEMSELVES (AKA attempt to show Linda their project with her own eyes) when she simply asks them to. A lot of people think she's really cool, and caring, and her brothers think shes unironically, absolutely AWESOME. Which has been the point of many episodes, AS WELL AS Candace against the Universe.

[conretewings]

I posted 718 times in 2022

That's 70 more posts than 2021!

138 posts created (19%)

580 posts reblogged (81%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@kellconrad

@lucklesslongshot

@pokecraftking

@barbersjoy

@immortalbumblebee

I tagged 690 of my posts in 2022

Only 4% of my posts had no tags

#*this is your queue* - 211 posts

#arcane - 193 posts

#vander arcane - 161 posts

#arcane vander - 134 posts

#vander x reader - 96 posts

#vander - 75 posts

#arcane netflix - 74 posts

#arcane fanart - 73 posts

#arcane vi - 49 posts

#arcane silco - 39 posts

Longest Tag: 129 characters

#just a fraction because the man is built like a brick house but it's there showing the force of her movement and how he's relaxed

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

what about some random dude out in public sees viktor’s cane and limp and tells reader he could show her what it’s like to be with a ‘real man.’ back home, viktor shows her just what a real man can do (wink wink)

-Aaaah, intriguing. *runs hands together* I've never written for Viktor but! I do also love him, and I'll do my best here. :)

Viktor x fem!reader (NSFW! 18+ only!!)

———————————————————

"Can you believe they mixed up the Acacia and Acaena genuses? I mean, I understand they're similarly spelled but honestly..."

"Well, not everyone is as passionate and sharp-eyed as you, dear."

Stars twinkle above in the blue-purple evening skies, the rain shower from earlier making the cobblestones shine under the light from streetlamps and windows as you walk arm-in-arm with Viktor down a shop-lined street. Having both been cooped up in your respective labs for the greater part of a week and not having time to see each other, you'd finally managed to find said time (and managed to pry him away from his desk) to head out on a much-needed date.

You'd heard about an upcoming exhibition on plants, flowers and their various adaptations to different environments at the largest and nicest museum in Piltover, and being an enthusiastic botanist you couldn't pass up the chance. When you'd suggested the idea Viktor had been...less enthused yet still intrigued; perhaps this would be a welcome distraction from his own intense schedule, a breath of fresh air to help him refocus. Not to mention, spending an evening with you was a delightful idea in itself.

"One would think that, being a scientific institution, they would make certain displays were correctly labeled before it opened. What if people learned the wrong plant names and made a fool of themselves? Or which would be pleasant in your home and which would release revolting smelling pollen?!" you continue with self-assured indignation.

A bemused, teasing smile tugs at Viktor's mouth, "What indeed. Goodness it would be a shame if someone walked into their kitchen to find it ruined by a houseplant. Truly a tragedy."

"Very funny, Viktor." you dryly reply, then pause suddenly, gently pulling your arm from his and gazing forlornly at your feet. He stops as well, eyebrow raised in question and you sigh, "I'm...sorry I get so...into my field. I know it's not your thing."

He hums, shifting his weight and giving his cane a few thoughtful taps on the ground, then points to a nearby planter overflowing with red and pink blooms, "What are those flowers called?"

"They're begonias...?" you reply, mildly confused.

"Ah, see, without you I might never have known that," he turns to look at you, "But now I do. The point is, though our passions and fields of study are different, it doesn't mean we can't appreciate and even learn from each other's," his lips quirk up in a small smile, slender fingers on your chin to tilt your face upward and you almost have to stop yourself from kissing him right then, "Sometimes looking at different things, or the same from a new angle, affords you a better understanding and love for them."

Touched, you break into a shy yet beaming grin, simultaneously hating and loving how easily he could make your face warm and heart flutter. You lean forward enough to bump your nose against his with a tiny huff of a laugh.

"How dare you make me blush like a smitten teenager...but thank you..."

He tilts his head ever so much, a silent signal and you do the same, your lips finally meeting with the softest touch and you swear you could melt to join the puddles in the cobblestones below. Pulling away, he moves to take your arm again and you both resume walking, chatting more about the exhibit and Viktor's newest discoveries with his own research.

A few minutes later, among the many small shops you pass a bakery and patisserie, it's windows bordered with tiny lights and displaying a neatly written sign declaring a '50% off sale on our famous macaroons!'

"I've actually never had a macaroon." you muse aloud, and Viktor shrugs, "Nor have I."

An idea grabs hold and you grin, telling him with a quick peck on the cheek you'll 'be right back!' and pull away to slip inside. Viktor shakes his head lightly with another crooked smile, then pulls a book from his coat pocket and steps off more out of the way to await.

Mere minutes later, you emerge cradling a neatly folded white paper bag containing four assorted flavors-in your enthusiasm you'd forgotten to ask Viktor what sort he may like-when you pass an all-too-familiar figure just entering the shop, who does a double-take and smirks, faking surprise.

"Ah, we meet again, miss." he says coolly, his voice like velvet and yet sandpaper.

Oh no. Your smile and stomach drop as you remember dealing with him a mere couple hours before at the very exhibit you and Viktor had recently left; he'd approached you when you'd wandered away from your date for a moment to more closely inspect a display, asking if you'd like to join him for drinks...and it had taken several increasingly curt refusals before he'd begrudgingly given up.

"That offer still stands, you know," he continues with a clumsy bow, "I would love to show such a lovely creature a lovely time..."

"As I've already stated, several times if I recall, I'm not interested, and happily spoken for thank you-" close to him as you are, you're able to catch the whiff of alcohol on his breath and clothes; apparently he'd already started without you and your nose wrinkles, "And it seems my company wasn't needed for your inebriation anyway. Good night."

Without waiting you turn on your heel and stalk back to Viktor, your heart instantly at ease when he looks up-then his expression shifts as his eyes dart behind you, and you glance to see you, unfortunately, had a tag along. Reaching Viktor you immediately link your arm with his and spin to face the absolute buffoon who it seemed was more determined than you thought.

"Erm, who...?" wonders Viktor aloud, catching your gaze as he slips the book back into his pocket.

That gaze then settles fiercely on the man, silently warning him to leave, "He asked if I wished to join him. I politely declined. Multiple times. Let's go, darling."

The man takes a quick step to the side, blocking your paths. His face has warped from a cool yet polite smile to one of irritable disgust as he suddenly scans Viktor up and down, noting his slender frame, cane and slightly unsteady gait. Viktor glowers back at him, as much for your sake as his own, knowing exactly what the man was thinking.

Unable or unwilling to suppress a sarcastic laugh the man scoffs, "Really now? You would choose him, this frail thing, over someone like myself? Goodness my sweet, you're beautiful and vibrant! Surely you can find a real man to attach yourself to! Luckily for you," he tugs on his lapels and tosses you a wink, "I'm more than happy to show you what it's like to be with a real man..."

See the full post

223 notes - Posted August 19, 2022

#4

You 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘵 tell me Vander wouldn’t want Reader to ride his thigh and be touching her all over. I swear that man would find her the sexiest thing, especially if she had gotten protective over the kids that day.

That being said: could you please do a fem!Reader x Vander with thigh riding? I love your writing and I hope you have a good day!

-Oh MY 👀👀👀 Well, firstly thank you so much! Secondly, hoo boi this is gonna get spicy...

-THIS WILL BE MILDLY NSFW YOU'VE BEEN ADVISED-

There was a lot to clean up that night, especially after a particularly rowdy bachelor party had all but overtaken the bar. But finally, after a lot of mopping spilled beer (which Vander swore, quite literally, he should have charged them double for) and putting chairs back into their proper spots the place was cleaned and ready to go for tomorrow.

You were next to him putting supplies away, and Vander looked up at you while washing his hands of dirt and sticky residue with a grin remembering earlier; toward the end of the party Mylo and Claggor had appeared to check it out, and hopefully charm the drunk partygoers into giving them some coins, and had been roped into a...very inappropriate conversation, to which you had swooped in to give the men such hell they swiftly apologized. Vander had watched, both amused at the sight of them almost cowering at your fury and grateful to know such a fiercely loving woman.

You catch him watching you out of the corner of your eye, those handsome features set in a warm, coy half-smile that was making your knees weaker than they had any right to be and sending shivers to places that could be dangerous if he kept it up.

"Gods I love ya..." he murmurs lowly, so much you paused to glance at him and tilt your head, "Hmm?"

"Said I love ya," he repeats, and turns to brush a stray piece of hair from your face, letting his hand linger against your jaw, "Now...what say we head to bed?"

By the time you reach the bedroom, sideways looks and brushing touches had turned into longing kisses and you being pressed to the door as soon as it was shut. It's been a couple days since you two had even seen each other, and weeks since you'd had the time or energy for anything else, so it's no surprise when shoes are quickly kicked off and clothing haphazardly loosened or outright discarded.

"So this is how it is?" you sass, and he gives a brief chuckle into your neck where his mouth has been busy, "Shush. I do believe ya started it."

"That's besides the-"

Your retort is cut off by his lips pressed to yours as he hoists you by the waist and stumbles to the bed, dropping on it with you straddling him. Both your hands and lips are all over each other at this point, breath heavy, sheer need quickly replacing any semblance of gentle restraint as you slide your splayed fingers up from his stomach to his chest, relishing the feel of his muscles; despite not being quite as sculpted as he once was he was still incredibly sexy and those muscles were no less powerful, as your very sore body could attest to occasionally.

You both shift a little for better access and you end up straddling just one of his thighs, and with how hot your body already was running, the simple feel of his leg between yours was enough to send a shudder through you...and some deep, primal instinct takes over your lust-addled mind as you began to grind yourself against him, moaning into his kiss.

It took him a moment to realize what you were doing but then he grins wolfishly, sliding his hands to your hips, "That wound up over me eh?"

Somehow his acknowledgement of your actions gives you pause, feeling more guilt than thrill, and sensing your hesitation he digs his fingers a little more into your skin as his eyes burn into yours with enough intensity to give you shivers all over again, "Oh don't be ashamed darlin'...if this is what you want, do it. I love knowin' I'm makin' ya feel so good-mmm my amazin' woman...go on..."

Your heart swells; he calls you amazing, yet here he is always being amazing to you. Before you can respond with words he uses the grip on your hips to continue your movements himself, his mouth finding your neck again, grazing your collarbone with his teeth, sending sparks through your veins and muddling all rational thought. By this point your body is acting on it's own again, with you grasping his shoulders for leverage as you rock your hips and grind your most sensitive spots against him, each repitition stoking the fire in your belly.

Meanwhile, his hands are busy with one still clutching your hip and thigh for 'assistance', the other free to roam up and down your back, front, and anywhere else within reach while he murmurs sweet encouragments alongside much naughtier things into your skin and you swear you might combust if this keeps up.

"That feel good yeah? Keep goin'...I love ya so much...I am gonna ravage you so badly-you know that right? Ah but I know how much ya love feelin' me inside you...in fact-"

He falls backwards onto the bed while still gripping your hips and pulls you up so you're now fully straddling him again, the springs creaking with your combined weight. Suddenly, you find something else between your legs, no less hard or eager and you groan appreciatively while meeting his hooded gaze.

"Well, let's see if you're right..."

230 notes - Posted February 20, 2022

#3

So.....a guy asks Vander if that "sexy piece of ass" is single, gesturing towards reader.....how's that go?

-*nervous laughter* About as well as you'd expect, Anon. I'm going off the assumption that reader and Vander are together for this.

"Hey...hey. Hey brother..." a customer loudly whispers, leaning forward slightly and discreetly waving a hand to catch his target's attention.

It's a fairly quiet evening at the bar, no doubt due to the quite popular, and quite illegal (not that anyone cared to enforce the rules) prize fight tournament going on in another part of the city. Vander, who has been wiping down the counters and prepping for the swarm to arrive later, glances up at the man.

"Yeah? What can I get ya?"

A dopey, lopsided grin breaks out on his flushed face, being already clearly buzzed and he turns his head to gaze at a person sitting at a small table near the jukebox with the kids, playing cards. They smirk triumphantly and slap their cards on the table as the kids groan and protest, the winner evident before Mylo insists on 'one more game!' However, they laugh and stand, saying sure but they'll be right back and start heading toward the counter.

The man follows their movement, licking his lips and his smirk goes lustful as he quietly asks, "Oy, you know if that sexy piece of ass is single? Damn the things I'd do to them!"

Vander stops instantly, his hand tightly clutching the rag he'd been using and exhales with an annoyed huff. The customer doesn't pick up on this, being too inebriated and too distracted by your form standing nearby.

"Could we get a few cups of juice?" you ask Vander with a chuckle, "Poor kids are...Vander?"

You're the one to notice his demeanor, the furrow of his brows as he scowls at the man and tight grip on the rag and wonder what's wrong. He meets your eyes and his expression quickly softens, then takes on a hint of mischief as he tosses the cloth over a broad shoulder and grabs a couple cups.

"Sure thing."

He fills them then as he sets them on a tray for you, leans over the counter to grasp the back of your head and passionately presses his lips to yours. You make a startled 'mmph?' sound, but swiftly melt into the kiss. He pulls back and the hairs on your neck are standing up with the sudden intensity of his actions.

"Honeybear..?" you murmur in confusion but appreciation. Public displays of affection were not something he normally did, a large hand settled on your waist or quick peck on the head being about all.

"Just felt like it, love. Now go show 'em 'ow to play properly. And get ready we'll probably 'ave a crowd later."

You grin, still feeling the lingering warmth of his lips, "Well I'm not complaining...and will do, boss man."

As you take the tray and head back, the customer, who's been watching this entire exchange with increasing levels of embarrassment and despair has now slumped onto the bar, his head lolled onto his arms. Vander shoots him a withering look.

"No, they're not." he says sarcastically, going back to his tasks.

243 notes - Posted February 23, 2022

#2

Senario: Vander smacks your ass behind the bar while a guy is hitting on you. In turn, a few days pass and a woman is hitting on Vander..........*warms um palms* Don't hold back lol

Oh friend. You've started something. 😘 You and everyone else please enjoy this little treat:

-It's one of those nights, nights where the bar is especially crowded and the entire place is a raucous din of chatter, drunken laughter, the clattering of mugs on tables, and the occasional dispute, with the old jukebox trying it's best to be heard above the noise.

"Round for the left corner table!" calls Vander as he passes you a tray of drinks. Taking it and flashing him a warm smile, you go to serve them...ignoring the man sitting at the end of the bar who has been pointedly eyeing and grinning like a fool at you for some time now.

Once you come back and pass him again he raises his hand to say, "'Scuse me ma'am, might I have another ale? And...a word if that's alright."

"Sure comin' up," you answer, and grabbing a clean mug pour him the drink and slide it over, then pause in front of him, "Now what's up? Someone bothering you?"

"Nah...but I uh..." he rests his chin in his hand and looks at you with a half lidded, lopsided smirk, "I wish someone was..."

"....Ah. I see." you answer flatly, leaning one elbow on the counter; so he was trying, terribly, to flirt. It seemed that, unlike a lot of the other patrons, this guy didn't realize you were dating the owner.

After a hiccup and clearing his throat, he 'walks' his fingers across the warped wood toward your arm and asks, "So uh...what're you doin' later after leavin' this dump?"

Before you can answer you feel a large hand on your upper back. You know that touch very well, and turn your head to see Vander standing there, giving the man that particular, tight-lipped grin that you recognize as quite the opposite of amused, his eyes narrowed.

"It may be a dump, but it's mine. Now then mate, ya mind tellin' me why you're harassing my staff?" he all but growls.

The man gapes at him stupidly and warily withdraws his own hand, eyes glazed from drink, "Um...I uh..."

"Well," Vander continues, and as he's speaking his hand slides down your back lower and lower until it's settled by your tailbone as you feel goosebumps dance across your skin from his caress, "I think you've had enough, and I'm going to have to cut you off for your own safety..."

And now his hand moves off you for only a split second before you feel the sharp and not unwelcome slap of his broad hand on your ass. The angle at which you two were standing assured no one could see, and you hiss in a quick breath, struggling to remain composed and shoot him an affectionate smirk while mouthing 'you bastard'. He throws you a quick wink and strides off while the man is already on his feet and weaving his way toward the door.

Part 2 under the cut because this is turning out longer than I expected:

Some days had passed since then, when during a slightly more quiet evening, you came back from taking orders to find a quite voluptuous woman who seemed to be quite taken with Vander. He was busy doing some intermittent cleaning behind the bar, and she was perched on a chair, talking to him and leaning forward enough to make quite the display of her ample cleavage. He was paying her no mind beyond asking if she needed another drink, and you bristle; oh. So this was how he had felt when the scenario was reversed.

It wasn't that you two didn't trust each other; mutual respect and trust came in spades for you both, but there was something about seeing another person making a play for your love that set the blood afire and ignited a protective, challenging instinct. Thus, you stuff your notebook in a pocket and go around behind the counter, stepping up to him and tapping his arm.

"Could you help me grab something from the storeroom?" you ask nonchalantly while shooting the woman a cool glance.

"Sure thing." he replies, dropping his cleaning rag and following you into a small side room around the corner, more of a closet than anything.

He doesn't see your smug grin, or you arcing your arm back as he sidles past you and asks, "Alright what did you-"

You swing your hand and crack him smartly right on his ass and he starts while you chuckle triumphantly, "Ha! That's for the other day. You did it while someone was flirting with me, thought I'd return the favor."

There's a momentary pause, then he twists his head just enough to peer at you over his shoulder; uh oh. You see the challenging glint there and before you can make another move he whirls, grasping you by the hips and hoisting you in the air, roughly pinning you to the wall with his body and you both ignore the several cans and other items that fall and clatter on the floor. You throw your arms around his shoulders as your legs encircle his waist and he leans in to growl lowly into your collarbone.

"Now now darlin'...if ya want to start something it'll hafta wait until closing. But until then..."

His hot breath against your skin and the promise of his words have already gotten your blood up, but then he clamps his mouth on your neck, kissing and nipping, making you let out a sharp gasp and moan. You twist your head to meet his lips with your own, pressing hard and running your tongue along his bottom lip. He grunts, fingers digging into your thighs and he deepens the kiss before you both pull back, breath heavy and he carefully lowers you to the floor.

You rest your hands on his chest and look up at him while biting your lip, "Later?"

"Aye definitely..." he replies, planting another kiss on your forehead then taking several deep breaths to calm down, and you both, as casually as possible, head back.

391 notes - Posted January 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Can I get some Vander protecting his lady? A rowdy young man tries to make a pass and doesn't take your decline. Vander starts calm as possible but......poor poor idiot makes a grab at you.

-OH I HAVE BEEN ITCHING TO ANSWER THIS 😎

It's another busy night at the Last Drop, not that any were particularly empty with most of the city's residents passing through on a semi-regular basis, and the drinks and raucous conversation flowed. It was one of those nights that Vander called you and one other person in for additional assistance taking care of patrons, and you'd been kept on your toes all shift.

As you're taking empty mugs from one table, another flags you down and you quickly step over, notepad balanced in your hands, "What can I get you guys?"

"I'll have a beer!"

"Two for me!"

"A cyanide sour!"

"Whiskey, best ya got...and I still want some time alone with your sweet self..."

You jot down the tables orders, pausing when you reach the last one, glancing up sourly as you jab your pen pointedly back in your pocket, "I'll be right back with your drinks, and only your drinks."

This was the third time this customer had made passes at you, each time becoming a little more insistent, and you becoming more annoyed. It was far from the first time some buzzed bozo had tried to flirt with you, but this particular guy wasn't backing off. The first time, you'd calmly told him you weren't interested; the second you'd informed him you were spoken for and he needed to stop.

You stalk back up to the counter, slamming the mugs down near Vander with enough force for him to do a double take and look up at you.

"Everythin' alright love?" he queries with a crooked eyebrow, seeing the fire in your gaze.

He sees you glowering sideways toward a table and following your line of sight, sees that customer lustfully eyeing you, catching his friends attention to make a stroking gesture toward his crotch as they all howl with laughter.

Vander exhales in a growl, recognizing the guy as the same one whom you mentioned earlier and leans forward toward you a little, "Is he still not gettin' the hint?"

"Nope," you reply through clenched teeth.

"Say the word darlin' and I'll personally throw'im out on his ass."

"If he tries anything else you can throw out what's left of him after I'm done."

He barks out a short laugh, your statement an unexpected and vivid reminder of one of the many reasons he loved you-your intellect, your beauty, your huge and fierce heart of course, now here was another; your unwillingness to take shit from anyone, especially obnoxious little rats like this guy. Reaching over, he gives your hand a brief, affectionate squeeze and flashes a reassuring smile before turning to fulfill the orders you had, passing you the stocked tray when he was finished.

He watches you walk away, another small smile on his face and pondering how he'd gotten so damn lucky before going back to his many other tasks.

Weaving between tables and patrons at various levels of intoxication, you deliver the drinks to a couple other spots...then draw a calming breath before heading back to the one you dreaded. Luckily they seemed more interested in whatever asinine conversation they were having than you at the moment, so you quickly set the mugs or glasses down and start to turn away.

"Heeeey there she ish!" the idiot slurred, blowing a kiss at you and beckoning you closer, "C'MON doll gimme a chance I shwear you'll love it!"

"I don't know how many times I have to tell you no, but NO," you snap firmly, gripping your tray, "Last chance. Back. Off."

The mood suddenly shifts in his bloodshot eyes, turning oddly dark and deciding you've had enough, you whirl on your heel and turn your back, reconsidering Vander's offer-

When the man abruptly lurches forward, grabbing you by the wrist and yanking you backwards so you end up losing your balance, dropping your tray and fall right into his lap. You gasp out a string of curses, furious and indignant as you try to push him off but he holds you fast around your waist, and at this point even his companions are telling him to knock it off.

Still refusing to give up and now clearly feeling slighted, he whines angrily, "I dunno who thish dude is ya got but baby I can do better-" one hand slides up your side towards your chest.

The adrenaline and rage fully kick in and you throw your head backwards into his face, cracking against it and he shouts in pain, loosening his grip enough for you to break free, whereupon you leap away and whirl, swinging your fist right into his nose as onlookers cheer for you.

"Gyaaah!" he screeches, eyes scrunched shut yet still grabs for you, "Little bitch-!" but you spin away and take a quick step forward-

And right into Vander's arms.

He had seen most of what happened, your initial shout grabbing his attention. Instantly his hands curled into white-knuckled fists, cold fury boiling in his gut.

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462 notes - Posted February 7, 2022

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[anghraine]

It's interesting (if often frustrating) to see the renewed Orc Discourse after the last few episodes of ROP. I've seen arguments that orcs have to be personifications of evil rather than people as such or else the ethics of our heroes' approach to them becomes much more fraught. Tolkien's work, as written, seems an odd choice to me for not wrangling with difficult questions, and of course, more diehard fans are going to immediately bring up Shagrat and Gorbag.

If you haven't read LOTR recently, Shagrat and Gorbag are two orcs who briefly have a conversation about how they're being screwed over by Sauron but have no other real options, about their opinions of mistakes that have been made, that they think Sauron himself has made one, but it's not safe to discuss because Sauron has spies in their own ranks. They reminisce about better times when they had more freedom and fantasize about a future when they can go elsewhere and set up a small-scale banditry operation rather than being involved in this huge-scale war. Eventually, however, they end up turning on each other.

Basically any time that someone brings up the "humanity" of this conversation, someone else will point out that they're still bad people. They're not at all guilty about what they're part of. They just resent the dangers to themselves, the pressure from above, failures of competence, the surveillance they're under, and their lack of realistic alternative options. The dream of another life mentioned in the conversation is still one of preying on innocent people, just on a much smaller and more immediate scale, etc.

I think this misses the reason it keeps getting brought up, though. The point is not that Shagrat and Gorbag are good people. The point is that they are people.

There's something very normal and recognizable about their resentment of their superiors, their fears of reprisal and betrayal that ultimately are realized, their dislike of this kind of industrial war machine that erases their individual work and contributions, the tinge of wistfulness in their hope of escape into a different kind of life. Their dialect is deliberately "common"—and there's a lot more to say about that and the fact that it's another commoner, Sam, who outwits them—but one of the main effects is to make them sound familiar and ordinary. And it's interesting that one of the points they specifically raise is that they're not going to get better treatment from "the good guys" so they can't defect, either.

This is self-interested, yes, but it's not the self-interest of some mystical being or spirit or whatnot, but of people.

Tolkien's later remarks tend to back this up. He said that female orcs do exist, but are rarely seen in the story because the characters only interact with the all-male warrior class of orcs. Whatever female orcs "do," it isn't going to war. Maybe they do a lot of the agricultural work that is apparently happening in distant parts of Mordor, maybe they are chiefly responsible for young orcs, maybe both and/or something else, we don't know. But we know they're out there and we know that they reproduce sexually and we know that they're not part of the orcish warrior class.

Regardless of all the problems with this, the idea that orcs have a gender-restricted warrior class at all and we're just not seeing any of their other classes because of where the story is set doesn't sound like automatons of evil. It sounds like an actual culture of people that we only see along the fringes.

And this whole matter of "but if they're people, we have to think about ethics, so they can't be people" is a weird circular argument that cannot account for what's in LOTR or for much of what Tolkien said afterwards. Yes, he struggled with The Problem of Orcs and how to reconcile it with his world building and his ethical system, but "maybe they're not people" is ultimately not a workable solution as far as LOTR goes and can't even account for much of the later evolution of his ideas, including explicit statements in his letters.

And in the end, the real response that comes to mind to that circular argument is "maybe you should think about ethics more."

[indestinatus]

the way Percy believed Dionysus was his dad because he thought Gabe was his mom's type is sending me

[obsidianbit]

I love this gay ass show with its literally life ending injuries that heal immediately, but only when convenient to the plot, and its ridiculous use of modern phrases, and its laughing in the face of historical accuracy, and its kissing the face of the fans instead of trying to outwit them, and the way everyone involved in the show seem to go 'I KNOW RIGHT! I'M EXCITED TOO!' instead of mocking the fans

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 118

Everyone is freaking out. The titan tower was broken into, no signs of who it was, and Tim- Robin- is missing. There’s blood on the walls, taunting them, implying that Tim is going through agony, and they can’t deal with another dead Robin, they can’t- 

Meanwhile Tim is bemused, maybe a little concussed because that would explain things maybe, as he’s found himself in a living room full of books and there’s a pair of kids too? One is straight up adoption bait- wait no there’s three, with two of them being adoption bait and the third being a redhead. There’s a trio of small children there already playing by the couch he’s been bundled into. 

Where the heck is his mask- or his bo staff or any of his supplies- is that the fucking Red Hood?! No, couldn’t be, must be the concussion, because why would the Red Hood be feeding him a bowl of soup?

[yuwuta]

JJK OLYMPICS OHHH YOURE A GENIUS

head spinning w sooooooo many athlete aus rn….. 

satoru honestly isn’t half as cocky as the media makes him out to be but he could be because you bring up world champion men’s freestyle swim times and it’s his name on the scoreboard ten times before someone else shows up. he’s faster than himself by fifteen seconds all around, he’s earned a bit of cockiness. mentioned in the last post that whenever he’s at a competition and he finishes a race, he looks at the camera and signs a little infinity sign and then blows a kiss to you. some bitter old coach always calls him out on it, and gets him fined for unsportsmanlike conduct, and he’s happy to pay the fees if it means getting a message home to you, but eventually you two come up with a new code; and at his next race, he places gold, turns to the camera, crosses his middle finger over his pointer finger and smiles. when he’s in his post-race interview, he makes sure to explain that he does it for you with the widest smile on his face.

megumi nepotism baby but not in the same sport. toji was a multi gold medalist back in his heyday for shooting, so it’s not really a surprise to anybody that megumi has scary good aim, but he takes to archery instead of shooting. actually the idea of megumi being an emo little kid and throwing rocks at a tree when his dad pissed him off his hilarious, and even funnier is toji watching him, slightly amused and a little scared because megumi is maybe six and hitting the exact same spot every single time. he grows to be very blase about it—it’s more of a release/hobby for him that he happens to be really good at, and well, now good enough to earn a few olympic medals. megumi is not a fan of having his dad ruffle his hair on international television after he’s won, but he supposes it can’t be helped.

i don’t know where to put yuuta…. tennis…. tempting….. him in his little white shorts…. little grunts after he serves…. cries….. a complete 180 in his personality when he’s playing vs doing anything else. so charming and sweet and kinda shy when he’s being interviewed, and the second he steps on the court his eyes are so cold it’s scary…. need him… extremely nerdy about his rackets, and shoes, and clothes, and rambles to you about aerodynamics and posture and torque whenever you ask him to teach you, and you always have to shutup him up with a kiss and remind him that yeah you sort of want to learn to play tennis for him, but mostly you came bc he looks hot doing it. once he got asked in an interview if he ever thinks about you while he’s playing and his response was very concise, “no, never. it would be a big distraction,” and did not realize the implications of his heavily televised words. 

also…. not to make this post 40% yuuta but we could pull from canon a bit and make his sport fencing. he doesn’t excel because he’s the strongest, it’s because he’s learned to treat the sword as an extension of himself and a good strategist… also because i like the image of him pulling the helmet/mask off and shaking his hair out………..

don’t even know where to put yuuji…. volleyball? basketball? track and field??? the irony of him easily being the most athletic but canonically does not want to play sports 😭 but i can see him playing a sport because someone scouts him and it turns out to be a way to make steady money to support himself and his grandpa :( by the time he’s qualified and made it to the olympics, wasuke is doing much better (thanks to yuuji having landed some preemptive sponsorships and being able to afford better medical care), but not so well enough that he can travel across the world to watch yuuji play. wasuke tells you that you should travel and be with yuuji, but yuuji is so touched by the idea that you would stay with his grandpa and be by his side when he’s away :(( he wins gold, of course, and he doesn’t even wait until the closing ceremony—which, he’d mentioned in all of his interviews, so nobody can be too upset. he’s on record saying, “i’m excited to play, but i’m even happier to be going home. my girlfriend and my grandpa are watching me and i miss them!” several times— he’s on the first flight home with flowers, and tears in his eyes. puts his gold medal on his grandpa’s neck as a thank you, and spends probably thirty minutes straight hugging you and kissing you and honestly don’t put it past him to propose now that he’s got nike ambassador money 

nanami started judo as a way to relieve the stress of his overbearing job, and someone at the gym/training center notices he seems to be a natural despite being a beginner. he starts to draw a crowd, which annoys him at first because the point of judo was discipline and release from having to deal with too many people at his office job, but nanami supposes he can’t be too mad when you introduce yourself as a talent scout and offer him professional training. there’s irony in him accepting your offer, because it was definitely not based in professionalism at all… quitting his job as a salaryman to become a professional athlete in his mid-twenties was not on his bingo chart, but if it means he will have met you, then so be it. you’re with him all the way, through his training, competitions, world championships, qualifiers, all the way until he’s on the podium. you’re the first to congratulate him, but he interjects by telling you he’s quitting. you ask him why—he just won at the olympics for crying out loud, but nanami just shakes his head, puts down his flowers and his medal so his hands are free to hold your face and tell you, “it would be unethical to kiss my manager, so i am quitting.” (later, when everything is said and done, and you two are cuddling, you mention to him that he could just hire a new manager, and not quit his new career, to which he blushes because yeah… that’s probably more rational, but rational was not in his train of thought at the time)