#Yaknow??? I think about. I think about it a lot.
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Do you think there was ever a moment post-canon where the party looked over at Siffrin and went, "this fucker met god and is a wishcraft user, what the fuck" like not even in a let's all come to terms with Siffrin's mental illnesses and disorders moment but in a holy shit our bestie is literally so fucking strong and cool what the fuck am I doing with my life??? Like sure the trauma and awfulness of how that happened, but I think I'd be a lil in awe of my buddies capabilities if they did that for me.
#Isat#Isat spoilers#Isat Siffrin#Its the deep dark need of being wanted to the point the other has broken the world for you#To know that you are loved wholy and fully by a being capable of destroying the world for you#Isnt that amazing? Isn't it awful? Don't you feel sick for getting joy from that?#I dunno I think about the rather dark feelings that comes after all this that no one wants to acknowledge#Because it means also thinking of their pain as a showing of love that you liked. How awful. How wrong of you#Yaknow??? I think about. I think about it a lot.#This is also all in the tags because it's feels... Important but not in the same way as the post. The vibes are different
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idc soldier fanart for the random shit i made up about him
basically to summarize I think Soldier had a kind of terrible family growing up and it + several undiagnosed/ignored conditions he ended up spiraling and getting sent to an asylum. He escaped and killed one of the doctors who was abusing him though. Anyways from there methinks he goes on to become the bloodthirsty dude he is and he went on a killing spree until the government caught him and gave him to TF2.
And that's how he became le epic soldier of tf2
#kind of nervous to share my headcanons cause theyre kinda personal to me#I uh. project a lot onto this guy haha#To me Soldier is like a transmasc butch of some sort but I don't think he'd really care about labels. yaknow?#my art#tf2#soldier tf2#sidenote i need to draw soldier in other poses besides “standing staring straight forward”#gore#blood
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twirls my hair absentmindedly.... i know i say i'll use this character and that character as my commander but making one is genuinely so hard for me! U_U each time i think i got something figured out i end up going to another character or idea.. its a bit fustrating...
#rambling#gw2#guild wars 2#i'd like to have just One Little Guy i can focus on for the story but there are so many possibilities and routes#and sure i can make alternative commanders but like#yaknow. choice paralysis. /lh#i may try just brewing ideas and throwing them at the wall to see what sticks! U_U#maybe i just need to figure out how i'd personally like to go about the story from a literary perspective#because i've only gotten as far as lws4 before the demons got me again /j#idk! lots to think about....#this sorta is why i've been taking a small break from playing gw2 and playing some ff14 ...
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Bulk anon wannabe
I have unsurprising news
#does coming forward like this kind of defeat the purpose of the whole thing? well#flips around folding chair and sits in it backwards#allow me to be vulnerable for a moment#i know the anonymity of this thing was often interpreted as like#a selfless act#but thats a little silly to me! because i absolutely saw a lot of people saying nice things about me and it definitly did feed my ego#but also like#it was tied up in a lot of self hatred to be completely honest#in that#i really believed people wouldn't be being as nice to me#or wouldn't appreciate what I was doing#if i attached my face to it#just because at the time. I felt like my own identity in the ftc was something that carried so much baggage with it#but ive been talking about it a lot with my therapist#and i think i maybe do want my friends to know#and this community to know#how much i care about it#because i do. a whole lot#and maybe thats not such a bad thing#to be known#by friends and friends characters#yaknow#does that make sense?#not to get senstive in the tags of an anon. that was said kind of rudely tbh#but I've been looking for a way to say this#and i guess this is it#and yes i did send myself asks to keep my cover lol 3d chess heistboy strikes again#you'd never know if i didnt have an emotional revelation and want to come forward
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Something seriously lacking in my art is the ability to tell a story in a single illustration.
I've gotten so used to drawing my characters standing around doing random things that I've never practiced telling a full tale/putting implications into my pieces that require more thinking/looking.
It also comes from a lower amount of details in my works by default [since I like to get pieces done fast], but I'm tired of using that as an excuse.
#vent#kinda#sorry I'm just having a rough one tonight but I'll recover lmao#I think the AI art thing is really getting to me cuz like.#Anyone can make pretty images if they study and practice hard enough#[not to detract from people who don't tell stories with their images!]#but something in my brain wants to fight back because AI will never be able to Tell a Story through its images.#It can't make narrative choices through its regurgitation of random elements. It will never tell a cohesive and interesting tale through#detail choice#the worst it can do is create surface-level 'pretty' images by smashing together a bunch of mushed up information#but storytelling? that's human touch#that's intention. Thought. Choices.#and idk it's really bothering me lately that my images almost never... 'say' anything about a character.#this does not apply to anyone else's art I look at#it's just a standard I'm starting to feel my head apply to my own work and nobody else's.#which I'm taking as a sign that this is something I'm unsatisfied with#but the thought of starting to develop a completely new skill like that? terrifyingly daunting.#Sorry for the wall of tags I'm havin' some hella moodswings tonight#happens a lot when I get inspired by art I see#which I'm trying to work on but yaknow#it's a long process#anyways how's your night goin#I'm gonna cheer myself up by eating some amazing asparagus casserole
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What really stood out to me the most this time around was how Anakin was portrayed. I doubt this is what they were really going for, but I choose to believe that even in death he pretends the Clone Wars is still happening. He was a war hero, he was happy, despite the horrors happening around him. It's like he is happy to let the galaxy suffer if it means he can live in the past. He ignores what he became, and failed to recognize his mistakes.
His death in ROTJ and murder of Palpatine (ignoring what the sequels say) isn't what redeems him. Changing his ways and committing to a better mindset would help him become better. But, even in death, he romanticizes his 'glory days' and forces Ahsoka to relive it.
If you view the environment as Anakin's creation then the fogginess of it could imply he doesn't even consider the others around him, the whole world is focused on him in his eyes.
Of course at the end of that sequence it's implied it was a test and Anakin was just joshing around. But I like the idea that hes still the same insecure little egomaniac that he was in life. It's an interesting way to view him.
#im not what one would call anti anakin bc i dont like. hate anakins existence#but i dont think hes a good person and i dont think we should pretend he us#also do Not get me started on the lighting in the entire tcw segment it made me so mad#i get why theyd make it foggy and thats not the issue#they could have made it better yaknow#idk thats more of a nitpick. i used to volunteer for theater lightwork do its one of those weird things im odd about#ahsoka series spoilers#ahsoka series episode 5 spoilers#star wars#anakin skywalker#there's a lot more i could say about this ep but im gonna keep this post focused on this one part rn
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I think Tom (and all his alts) strive for freedom…
OH ABSOLUTELY
I totally agree!! I think just like- the nature of Tom and his alts (who ofc meta wise were all written after him) is that they’re all dependent people of some kind, usually as the result of their circumstance of existence
Whether that be like in Tom's case because Dianite (or Mianite in Godswap, albiet different dynamic) is the one to grant him reanimated life, making him sort of indebted to him- or Cassell who isn't necessarily bound to his god moreso that he's bound to his creators (Flash and Ianite). Mot also sort of has that tether element to him because Dianite technically also saved his life from the creeper spore infection iirc but I think it makes the principle of freedom a little different to him esp. because it turned into like a business partners to unrequited crush to sorta lovers kinda thing depending on your post canon
All of this translates to me into their kind of devotion as champions, and again how that's like different from Ianitee flavored devotion (based on the guidance of Ianite and trusting in her judgement to lead them the right way so she can keep them safe), or Mianitee flavored devotion (Like knights to a king, similar to Ianitees follow orders for order, kind of follow his principles rather than specific instructions from him). Dianite being Dianite and the elements of chaos being how it is, Dianitee devotion is like being an extension of him, not via principles or guidance but by intent like being mercenaries in service of him while still being tethered in fear of punishment if its not done right. And maybe yknow they don't mind the implications that come with that title (Mot's case, for example) I think that's where that desire for freedom comes for- a want to have an existence that isn't tethered to their god
side note this could not apply as much to Dianite and Cass in Aitheaca because Dianite takes the Ianite role in terms of swapped god positions (and Cass runs off Dianite's guidance in the same way as Jordan would to Ianite) as Flash and Ianite are more similar to Tom and S1 Dia but bear with me xD
So kind of like extrapolating from that- their more specific desires for freedom are all sort of tied to Tom's need for spiritual freedom- I want to like refer to the whole thing of the Thauminomicon-y traits Marsh had mentioned before, and how Tom has 'fabrico', which stands for craft/repair. It connects in the sense of yeah he's a zombie he's stiched back together but. ok hear me out. Who would have stitched him back together? It was implied in an episode of Isles that c!Tom doesn't remember the Minecraft Project- (because they're memories he can't return to, just big empty void in his head), or when he was alive/ill from zombification, but he hadn't died yet. The person that arrives on Mianite with Tucker is that Tom, he is all that chaotic goofy Tom is, but at the same time he's partially someone else's creation, sewn together in intricate ways to be the bringer of chaos for the god he serves- but beyond that? His humanity. At his core, he's human, not someone who'll just take orders blindly and him striving for his freedom from that tether is refusing to deny the things that makes him alive. And I think the other alts like ya said follow suit, in Mot maintaining his humanity regardless of his ailment through choosing to care for Alyssa rather than being just a ruthless chaotic killing machine when Rux!Dia dies or in Aitheaca the way I want to write Cassell as someone who was born as a weapon for Ianite but loves collecting vintage human things and views his innermost self through music. The visual I kind of go to is the idea of Tom literally crafting and repairing the parts of himself that make him feel trapped by breaking them apart, burning it, adding new things when he takes the hands of friends and yeah!! And I think this sort of aspect could also tie into him becoming Mecha Dianite as well in finding freedom by choosing the person he is, and owning it
#idk if this makes any sense this is quite literally a braindump LMAO#i rambled way too long but i needed a distraction from some stuff that sucked today this is an excellent prompt#so i just went ham immediately on whatever brainrot came to mind xD I wasn't gonna go into thaum things but i got reminded of it mid writng#thank you for the ask a ton#mianite#character analysis#mianite godswap#mianite: the tales of aitheaca#tom syndicate#mot screziato#cassell lomorem#Thinking about this is why like. im such a huge fan of characterizations of cTom that go beyond#'im chaotic im evil RAHHH'#because he's a really multifacted character that I think is a lot more interesting#last time i talked about why hes chaotic this time its about the other side#throwing a bit of syndisparklez specifically in the tag#if tom is jordan's homebase#his foundation; jordan acts as a light to tom because he#is where freedom lies- he literally ignores what is laid out and what he may be indebted to to create his own goddess bring her into existe#leading out of those hypothetical boundaries yaknow#idk im normal. im nrrmal#lafakiwi talks#asks#licantropa
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i need 2 stop changing my layout around so much but i cant stop …. its too fun
#ACTUALLY though ive been like super indecisive over it#like idk something about it …. each time i change it i just cant be happy w it for too long#like itll be like less than a day and im already itching to change it all around again#i think the problem just sorta comes from stressing out too hard about wether or not it looks good and aesthetic sparkles#anyways im gonna be changing a lot of stuff around to figure stuff out so . yaknow wuick warning#should say this is only on mobile . desktop is remaining mostly intouched#(for now at least)
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see im terrible at responding to messages but that's because if I am even a little unsure how to respond to something I convince myself I'm Going to say the wrong thing and it'll be super weird. so I just dont
#frankie fucks about#not even the other persons fault usually. ijust do not have a lot to say that isnt my own things yaknow. im thw worst at responding ever#i overshare when im stoned sorry. i think everyone is always 10seconds from bullying me
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uhg deleteing old photos en mass is good for my mental health but also that means i sometimes have to look at the old photos and now i feel sick
#for context the stuff i went through was mostly 2020#so lots of the green fuck and even more of his team. old texts with my ex who i just always feel sick when i think about and#last but certainly not fucking least! screenshot of super early early dsmpblr 🤢#which. iykyk.#but !!! i delted probably 500 ish photos !!!!!#theres still a lot more but its a dent yaknow#blehh i think im gonna scroll for a bit then go to bed#idk lol
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i think ppl mad about the cheerleaders are forgetting that this is america btw. like genuinely cheerleaders are a pretty big part of american sports and i thought it was fun that they got the dallas mfing cowboys (& i think houston’s) to be a part of the show? yes they are athletes but… part of their job is, quite literally, cheering at sports? and they are happy to do so? because it’s their job and they are beloved for it? idk seems like outrage could be more productively pointed elsewhere
#i don’t mean ‘this is America’ in a snide way btw#just like literally it’s a cultural thing here#so it makes a lot of sense to me that they would think of it in America#i actually was (and still am) a bit confused about the outrage over grid girls#because they seem like cheerleaders to me……and cheerleaders are normal#standard disclaimer that everyone is entitled to their opinion#this hate on the USA for our cheerleaders of all things is just kind of……..#yaknow#esp when they chose that job themselves and are respected for it#f1#austin gp 2023#*delphi
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read the notes on the last post about the michael squipped au (possibly?) whoever raccoons in a trenchcoat is you have AMAZING opinions on that oh my gosh dude
i think the squip-michael interactions would be like both comedic but gets serious when it needs to y’know?? like his squip might jokingly play around with him but go behind his back when he’s vulnerable n stuff
feel like his hoodie would definitely get tossed early in and maybe?? maybe towards the end he’d get it back??? i wonder how it would work out
#and to think maybe this would start with rich going to michael first#instead of jeremy#cause i believe rich is/was a bully to michael as well??#according to the boyf backpacks cause rich would have definitely taken michael aside to write that#like maybe he’d take a while to think on it after being reccomended it??#he’s obviously be a lot more reluctant on that descision ykyk#maybe a mitb type scene early on would be what pushes him to do it#HGDGSGA#ITS FUN TO THINK ABOUT#i like to think it would be a comedy as well yaknow#HGGG OKAY IM NORMAL#be more chill#be more chill musical#michael mell#bmc
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i feel so miserable right now unfortunately .....
#when i went back to work i am trying to be more honest to people about my feelings regarding shit.#and well. this unfortaunetly will make people like you less when you're a lot less appeasing and a lot more honest#and not even in a workflow way. just in a social way. but also yeah in a workflow way#im giving less of a shit about things. in general there. i AM still doing very very well for only caring like 1/4th of the amount i used to#its funny though. a lot of people also like me more this way. lol#so. yaknow. but it does ache when some people you were friendly with suddenly feel comfortable enough with you to tell horrible jokes#and get pissed off now that they not only like YOU more and think youre more charismatic and friendly#but also that you also dont think. THEY'RE being funnier and nicer at the mutual peeling back#when they open up and reveal that they really love making fucked up jokes that i REALLY cant agree with#like talking to them now feels like i've accessed like. 4chan.
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damn we really got shafted by funnay long ass fight scenes and dead dad cop b (c?) plot............... i havent looked at the producers and what theyre all about etc but seeing the queer angles get shafted (like its all at once not heavy-handed enough but the next step would have been on-screen making out sloppy style like. tenderness? or something) due to whatever the fuck else that all was...... man
i appreciate that this is a new and fun interpretation and i do love receiving little lgbtq+ pellets but idk. some ingredients in this soup arent doin it for me
#renfield#renfield 2023#i give renfield 2023 the movie the film a GAY MINUS!!! /joke#also not saying theres anything wrong with ambiguity. u dont NEED labels#maybe theres room for a next time and for more queer thangs to happen#i kind of wish there were just *something* yaknow#not enough weed smoking girlfriends or boyfriends#not enough little boyfriend dates where theyre all boyfriends and girlfriends#dracula said here now my beloved twink a mechanism for you to do so much labor for me teehee and also 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀#reminds me i really love teddys full commitment to starting a cat fight over that old man#also just watched beau is afraid. narcissim heavy on my brain#thinking a lot about what makes a person want to execute a story like that and make it abt as real as it gets. but anyway#npds emergence in major media pieces is intriguing 2 me#theres so much to explore that didnt get a chance due to lots of nameless men with guns#and quincys dead cop family i guess#re: the cops#while i appreciate that theyre all corrupt its still a background sentiment bc its just lip service (they dont actually do evil)#once again asking for cage dracula reprise. he killed it (punintentional)#and nicholas hoult was great as well!!!#thx for coming to my ted talk#ill do more prabably
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if u have a special interest in brainwashing i think you would simply explode if u watched karmaland (IN A GOOD WAY IN A GOOD WAY) (there’s a crap ton of plot points connected to brainwashing and the loss of memory, it’s really interesting and the way it ties into how the characters interact and the overarching plot line makes me go insane) (bonus post i found a couple months ago about the theme of memory in it: https://shikai-the-storyteller.tumblr.com/post/699057572266885120 )
HIHI I'm so sorry about getting to this late Oooo I really love that! (Checked out the post you sent) and from what I've just heard about Karmaland around it sounds very interesting! I gotta love me some good old fasioned loss of memory but everlastingly connected to some events vibe, because erasing the whole of a person is HARD. I cannot speak on a series I haven't watched, but that post is very interesting and those sort of plots have my whole heart. The main thing is that I really only speak enough spanish to have survived high school, and I still almost failed. I wanna get better at it but learning languages is just not something that comes to me with ease. Along with that, I listen to QSMP a lot in the background, and I couldn't do that if I needed to read subtitles constantly lol. There's something also to be said about how to be involved in the main qsmp plot rn you generally need to speak english but I feel like that is a victim of circomstance along with other things - People have noted the lack of Hispanic streamers online and how the French also seem disconnected from the main lore. Without going on too long of a rant I actually enjoy that I missed some content and lore that the Brazlians have and discovered it through the community, lol. Which is a long winded rant to say "I feel lucky that I am in the primary audience for the qsmp lore and I really don't feel like I could keep up with it if it wasn't in a language I spoke" Maybe sometime in the future, I'd love to check it out, or really if there were english plot summaries about I'm sure they'd be amazing, that's absolutley my sort of plot. If you have any reccomendations I'd love that!
I hope this was coherent lmao I have spent the last while feeling quite sick but sometime. Sometime I will ramble on the role that memory seems to play in the QSMP. sometime.
#qsmp#oh gosh I don't know what all to tag this with#duudeee I wish I spoke more languages#so so bad#I really hope we see more plot from the other communities. I really enjoy whenever things happen with them#So many of them seem so cooolll dude#Ik a lot of them left with the egg event being around. I've stated my feelings on the eggs before. I just hope it all ends up okay#and the harassment dies down#I'm NOT used to being in big fandoms with a lot of drama constantly tbh. I've said before this isn't really my community. I very much#feel like an outsider sometimes lol#I also really just wanted to learn more spanish. genuinley I have been trying to watch more in other languages.#But I often have to rely on the translator#And without that in a series that's much larger and not in a language I am fluent in it just. yaknow a bit intimidating#Even if that genuinley sounds like content I would obsess over for actual years LMAO#I think I am too sick to have a coherent thought I'm so sorry if this is an overwhelming answer I love talking about things and getting ask#Please send more thoughts if you have them
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I love pov!! I love povs so much!!! I love to see stories of why and how the "bad guy" got to where they are! Bonus points if from their pov they are the good guy!
I would LOVE to see a show/movie that starts with us following the regular hero backstory and see the character grows and becomes a better person and all of that, and later have corruption arc, but not from some evil dude doing something to them, but from the inside and all that occurred to them, the bigging of a hero and a villain are often similar with little differences from their lifes and the environment around them it's so fucking interesting and i would LOVE to have it as the show's "twist"
#whatthefuck where did they pulled that stupid nonsense from#WHATTHEFUCK holy shit omgggg#now#if I'll have more character development I will develop into the villain#but it only works if both sides have a really valid reason!#i have so much to say about this thing#ig it's kinda like star wars but i have this idea for YEARS and i still think about it cus i can't think about someone doing that really?#yes ofc we saw lots of villains backstory and sometimes it was tragic n all but we see ut AFTER we already know they're the villain#i want to be led to believe that's the hero right there#with my whole life and soul#and see them go through difficult thing ass yaknow character development#and be absolutely shocked and betrayed by watching the part they fully totally change#but not betrayed as in like but in a and for#it to make sense tod the character arc and the world and circumstance of the situation#i feel like i might have watched something like that before but every example that comes to mind it's never the journey we see#just tha backstory after it happens#like it's not in the timeline of the show were watching#like Anakin we already knew what will happen we just didn't knew why. it's pretty close for what I'm thinking but not this this#or Omni man we just saw the backstory and circumstances#or like idk other existing character all over the universe that i don't think much about them as for this moment of my existence#this idea will be EXTREMELY hard to pull of cus you REALLY need a powerful story#like you spent all this time developing them as a hero and having morals and life lessons and all of that to go the other extreme and havin#g them change the morals is SO hard to pull of i literally have no idea#I'll also probably will never use this one cus the only concept i have for that is a short movie AT BEST I'm not really jdjdksks about it#but for me this is a proof of concept for my silly little head#anyway#yeah it'll be fucking sick to watch it#.#ya know that meme of something like that ig lmao
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