#Yah anyway... wrote this to get some feels and thoughts out of my head

[havethetouch]

Lil bit of Grief

Today's the day. Been dreading it a little not gonna lie but all things considered I am doing fairly well.

For those who didn't follow the shitshow that became my fams life for the last four years well, lemmie just say lotsa cancer in my fam and we lost 4 people with only a couple months of reprive in between each one. First my grandmother, then my father, then my uncle (fathers brother) and my grand cousin (cousin of my father).

Like except for my aunt which lives next door to me now bc I moved into my fathers (now mine) house, a whole generation just got wiped out in a short amount of timealong with our matriarch and well, it's been hard. Still is some days.

And today is the second death day of my father. Half of me is like "it's been two years already?" and another goes "it's only been two years?" And it's so weird and I'm a little off kilter, actually been off kilter for a bit now bc I knew the day was coming closer and idk idk it's different now because last year I was still living in the city and took a train out on this day to visit the house and his grave and to be with my aunt and now I am slowly trying to make this house my own place and we went to his grave together and cleared out the weeds and lit some candles and it's a weird weird mixture of grieflovesadnessloveangerlovenostalgialovebitternesslovelovelove.

But it's better than it was last year. I don't choke on every other breath. My memory is improving (got shot to shit bc of grief n stress obviously). I feel lighter than I have in a long while. This year has been kind on me things improved a lot. Lot of changes going on but mostly good ones that drive me forward instead of back or keeping me in place.

My grief has been softly sanded down like seaglass pearls now, it doesn't cut my hands and feet up as much but yeah... today it lies a bit heavier in my palm.

[yujinnieswifeu]

can you do one where the reader feels like they have lost their sex appeal and asks a friend for help to understand the situation? (Here my inspo and can you do a g!p too plz)

Pairings: sub!fem reader x g!p dom!wonyoung

Warnings: smut, g!p wonyoung (wonyoung has a dick)

a/n: hi anon! Just wanna say thanks for the inspo, i really like it when people request a plot which you did, and also i rlly hope you enjoy this cause i sure did when i wrote🥹. U didn’t request any specific idol so i just went w wony to complete ot5 and also cause i feel she would fit this inspo the best! (Btw, i recognise the fanart hehe, should i write for genshin too? 🤭)

It has been weeks since you and Wonyoung did that. Every time you try to initiate it, she would decline it, telling you she wants to go to sleep or that she was tired. It has you overthinking, what if she doesn’t like you in that way anymore? Are you just not attractive to her? So many thoughts whirl in your mind and you really needed to let it out. So who else than your bestie? Surely she can help you with this situation right?

。。。(it means time skip)

“I..I don’t know how to tell you this.” You say, feeling embarrass even thinking about the situation you were going through now, your cheeks feeling hot at the thought of telling something so personal to your best friend. But she was the only one who you could rely on whenever you had troubles. “y/nnnn, you better tell me now.” She dragged her words, rolling her eyes in slight annoyance. You had been this way for the past 30 minutes, and Rei was starting to get frustrated she was not able to get it out from you.

“Fine! Ugh, ithinkilostmysexappeal!” The words comes out quickly, the pout on your face as you look at the floor instead, suddenly finding that to be more interesting. The sudden sound of laughter floods the café instead, your head immediately shoots up, looking at Rei who was now laughing. You looked around, seeing some people stare your way and you glared at her. “Keep it down!” You whispered and she wiped the tears that escaped from laughing so much. “I-i’m sorry, i just can’t believe you just said that.” She said, now more calmly as you sighed frustratingly.

“Wony has been ignoring my advances when i try to initiate.” You say truthfully, your brows furrow in thought, your expression showing how worried you were that Rei becomes serious. “And what does she say?” She frowns, her fingers wrapping around the straw as she stirs her drink, taking a sip of it. “She just tells me she does not feel like it, sometimes she says it’s because she’s tired. I’m worried Rei.” You looked at the table as you let out your emotions, and Rei pouts as she stares at you.

“Maybe she’s just tired like she says? Honestly, i know Wonyoung could never stop loving you with how she keeps talking about you.” You looked up at her, tilting your head. “How do you know that?” You were surprised, Rei has never told you stuff concerning your girlfriend before, so it came off as surprising for you. That was until you could see the slight tint of red on her cheeks, a smirk appearing on your face instead. “Rei…don’t tell me…it’s Liz isn’t it?” You squealed, and it wad Rei’s turn to look at the floor, covering her face.

“Aha, i knew it!” You say rather too loud, attracting some eyes at your table once again, and you mutter a sorry in their direction, looking at your friend who only groans. “Yes but i can’t help it when she looks like a teddy bear most of the time!” It was your turn to laugh, but not as loud this time, with Rei quickly bringing you back to the topic at hand. “Anyways, i think you don’t need to worry so much y/n yah, maybe you just need to..up your game?” She raises her brows in a playful manner, which makes you giggle a little. “You mean…dress something that makes her want to do that with me?” She nods her head, and you give it a thought.

Dress something..what always makes Wonyoung go crazy? Your mind reeled with different images of you, and you were sure your face was red. Rei was giggling at your face, taking pictures from her phone as you groaned, trying to snatch her phone from her.

。。。

You were nervous, your heart was racing every millisecond at this point, you looked at yourself one last time in the mirror, the headband rested on your head was one with bunny ears, and you had wore a lingerie with her favourite colour red. When Rei told you earlier to wear something that would make her go crazy, you immediately thought of this since you had wore something similar before and it had made her go feral. You just hoped the outfit you had on would make her go as feral as that time.

Soon you could hear the sounds of keys jangling, the door opening, and her voice ringing throughout the house.

“Baby i’m home!” She had said, and instead of replying or your usual, where you would greet her with a hug, you immediately jumped on the bed, sprawling yourself out instead to look sexy for her. “Babes?” Her voice echos again, and you could hear the door to your shared bedroom open, your heart was racing as she opens the door fully, her eyes immediately on yours as she froze there on the spot. Her eyes were boring holes into your skin, it made you feel naked, the electric feeling running through you. “Welcome home Wony..h-how do you like my outfit? I dressed up for you since you haven’t been giving my body attention a-and though-” She stops your rambling instead by kissing you with hunger, her hands lost in your hair as she slides them down your back, feeling your skin on her fingers as you melted into her, moaning against her lips.

She pulled away, her eyes now a darker shade of brown, as she bit her bottom lip. “My bunny wants attention that bad huh?” There was that nickname, you only whimper at her words, her hand slides up to play at your headband, stroking the ears as her eyes stayed glue to yours. “Fuck..you make me so hard y/n..” She whispers against your ears, her tongue probes out, flicking against your earlobe as she grinds herself against you, making you feel how hard she was and you gasp, your fingers around her back pulling her closer to you. “Y-you feel that bunny?” Panting, she pulls away, giving you a show as she undo her blouse and unclasps her bra quickly, the bra falling off as she throws it somewhere across the room, leaving the blouse on as she knew what it does to you.

Moving next to you, she pats her lap and you get the message, your thighs over hers as you watch her undo her belt. The bulge was already obvious, poking at her pants wanting to be freed of its confinements. It only makes you squirm on her lap, watching her as she finally pulls down her pants, helping her to get rid of it fully as you throw it at the edge of the bed. You stared at her covered bulge again, a damp spot evident on her panties. It makes you bite your lips, and you hear her clicking her tongue. “Eyes up here bunny.” The nickname rolls over her lips, making you whimper again as you look up into her eyes, feeling like a prey as she stares into yours like a predator. “I want to see you bounce on me bunny, you’re good at that aren’t you? You’re a bunny after all” She cocks her head to one side, and you nod your head desperately. The feeling between your legs was uncomfortable at this point, just aching to be filled with her cock.

You feel her pressing her fingers over your clothed area, the pressure on your clit makes you move your hips, moaning softly for her. She bites her lips, watching you as you masturbate on her fingers, it only makes her harder. She stills your hips with her other hand, sliding your panties to one side, looking down at how wet you are, it almost makes her moan. “Fuck…you’re such a fucking tease huh bunny? Wearing my favourite colour on you..and those bunny ears, you know what it does to me.” She groans, feeling her squeeze at your hip where her hand stayed, before feeling her pull your body closer to her, reaching to take her cock, stroking it and slapping it over your clit.

You gasp, your hands gripping her shoulders as she continues to slap her tip over your clit, making it red and puffy just how she likes it. “So pretty for me, i love you like this bunny..now show me how you bounce on my cock.” She orders, making you whine out. Your hand goes to your panties, wanting to take them off before feeling her hands stop you. “Don’t. I want it on bunny.” She warns, her eyes glaring into yours to not talk back which makes you gulp instead, feeling her guide her tip over your sopping hole. Your eyes rolls to the back when you feel her tip past your hole, the feeling only makes you moan loudly, gripping at her shoulders.

She pulls you down slowly over her cock, letting you adjust to her size before she was fully inside of you. The feeling only makes you whimper, as you start to bounce on her cock. She groans as she watches you move up and down on her cock, her hands goes to your ass, giving them a small squeeze before spreading your asscheeks apart, stretching your hole. It only makes it easier for you to move all the way, the added sensation causes your body to tremble slightly, a shiver running down your spine as you continue to milk her dry.

“W-what a good bunny.” She praises you, pressing her lips on yours as you both make out messily, her tongue slides across your bottom lip asking for access and you part your lips, the feeling of her tongue around yours makes you moan softly, still bouncing on her cock. You could feel her fingers running up your spine, making you shiver as she goes to unclasp your bra.

Pulling away from the kiss, she watches you as you continue to masturbate yourself over her cock, the feeling of your walls wrapping around her makes her moan softly, her hand goes over to your breasts as they shake with each bounce, stimulating them. She could feel your walls tightening around her, making her head tilt to the back as she lets out a throaty moan. “S-so fucking tight bunny.” She groans out, before gripping on your hips, guiding you over her cock.

You could feel your stomach coil, the need to come washes over you “I-i need to cum please Wony?” You struggle to say, and she holds your hip in place, driving her cock in and out of your pussy instead. You cry out, head lost in her neck as she moves her hips even faster, fucking you roughly, making your eyes roll. “I-i’m going to breed this pussy full of my bunnies, o-oh fuck fuck fuck, cum with me bunny!” Her words only sends you over the edge as you cum all over her cock, your eyes rolls back as you see white, crying out her name as your walls closes around her, feeling her seeds paint your insides white.

She pants softly, your head nestled in her neck as you both take some time to come down from your shared orgasms. “Wow.” She wearily says, her fingers drawing lazy circles on your back. You look up at her, and she smiles down at you. “Finally back to earth?” She teases, and you roll your eyes playfully. “Well no, i’m still in heaven.” You reply, a smile forming on your face and you could see her cheeks turn slightly red. It was like a whole different demeanour from when she fucked you, but you liked it either way.

“You going to tell me why you dressed up as a bunny now?” She changes the topic, and it makes you bite your bottom lip nervously. “I just…just thought that i lost my sex appeal.” You tell her truthfully, and her brows furrows in thought, thinking back on how she has been the past few days, the realisation hits her and she sighs. “Baby, look at me.” She says, making you look up into her eyes and she cups your cheeks in her palms. “I’m sorry, i didn’t notice i was neglecting my poor bunny, but i swear i still love you okay? I’ve just been really busy with work and just want to sleep each time i hit the bed.” She pouts, her eyes now looking sad as she stares at your face. You gave her a comforting smile instead, before pressing your lips on hers once more.

“And i’m sorry i did not communicate this with you sooner, it was wrong of me too.” She giggles, her infamous grin appearing on her face instead. “Well, i quite like this one though, you looked so hot in that bunny outfit.” She bites her bottom lip, and you only hide your face against her neck, whining for her to stop teasing you. Giggling, she pulls your face to hers, pecking your lips. “I love you my bunny.” She says, her forehead against yours. “I love you too Wony. And we should wash up now.” You were about to pull away before she pulls you back into her embrace.

“No, let’s stay in this position for a while, i like being inside of you my bunny.” She teases, and you knew you had a long night ahead of you.

[sharkboywrites]

HIII If you're accepting requests rn I'd love to ask for something done! Floyd leech x autistic (preferably trans, but it's okay if not as well!) male reader! basically I'd love for my fave character to comfort me lol,,, Like... bodily affirmations, squeezes, lots of sweet kisses... maybe some crying... Idk!! just go with whatever comes to mind! (sorry if too vauge, I feel sooo braindead rn XD)

yah ty if you get around to this!!! it'd make my days so much better, I've already read all the stuff in the floyd x male reader tags so I'm feeling so deprived of good n' comforting content aughhh....

Bad Days

Floyd x autistic trans male reader

A/N: So funny thing I wrote like half of this and then my app reset so I have to rewrite almost I’ll of it :,) but anyways this is also kinda a comfort fic for me because I’ve been dealing with a lot of sensory issues and transphobia lately , along with being borderline denied an autism assessment so this is a fic for both of us anon

Trans male reader, autistic reader, dysphoria, sensory issues, autism meltdown, non sexual nudity

Days like these are tough. From the moment you woke up you could tell that something was wrong. It starts with the clothes. The shirt and jacket just feel wrong.

But there’s nothing else to wear so… you wear it. Then it gets worse in class. The temperature is just too much, and it makes your clothes feel so much worse, like you want to just scratch at your skin until the feeling stopped.

The noises the people make around you are unbearable. The gum chewing, the lip smacking, all of it is just to much. It makes you want to tear your hair out and rip your ears off.

The lights are too bright and everyone is just so loud, it’s starting to feel like your getting a migraine, like you just can’t take it anymore and start screaming at any moment.

And of course somehow these feelings just make you more aware of your body. You’re suddenly hyper aware of your chest, your waist, your face, even your voice. It’s all too much.

Luckily, when you first came to Night Raven Colege, you thought ahead about this. It was important for your teachers to understand your situation, diagnosis or not.

Crewel was aware of your situation, and with one look you’re able to slip out of class. You rush back to your dorm as quickly as possible, suddenly grateful that classes were going on so nobody could see you. You can’t help the whines that slip from your throat as you desperately try to hold yourself back from completely breaking down into a mess of screams and cries.

You’re able to quickly make it back to your dorm, locking yourself in your room and throwing off your uniform. Sure, being completely naked almost in tears in your dorm room isn’t the most flattering thing, but you just had to get that stupid uniform off.

Rubbing down the worst feeling parts of your body, you’re able to calm down enough to dig out your favorite clothes and throw them back on, even if they not be in the best state. You just need them right now.

Being able to use any type of noise cancelling headphones or earbuds helps calm you down a little bit more. Just having them in, even if you’re not playing anything, it helps get all of the noises from the day out of your head.

A drink of water also helps. In very few gulps you’re able to swallow almost an entire bottle of water. You lay down in your bed, breathing heavily as you start to calms down in a safer environment.

As you lay in bed, you can feel your soft blanket in your feet, rubbing them back in forth to get a nicer sensation than what you were feeling for most of the day.

Taking a few more sips of water, completely finishing off the water bottle, you take your stim toy of choice. You have all of your favorite options thanks to everyone at NRC giving them to you. As you fidget and play one of your favorite videos, you start to think. You managed to slip out of class, and you didn’t even hurt yourself or make a complete mess of your room. At least that’s some progress.

You’re cut off by your thinking by a knock on the door. Not able to form words at the moments, you pull yourself out of bed and peek out of the door.

Standing there is your tall, rather intimating boyfriend.

“Eh? Shirmpy what happened? You just left class so suddenly…”

He has his usual playful drone to his voice, but you can tell the slight hint of concern, a difference you’re sure only you and his brother can notice.

You stay silent, just giving him a pained look and hoping he understand. He does.

“Not talkin’? Alright… you want me to stay?”

You’re able to give him a small nod, and he walks right in and practically jumps onto your bed, making grabby hands at you, his mood doing almost a 180, as he usually does.

You could always depend on Floyd to understand what you’re going through. He also has his fair share of his own mood swings and tantrums, he’s never judge you for your own.

You walk back to bed and slowly slink into his arms, leaning against his chest comfortably. Floyd was somehow never too hot or too cold to cuddle with. He was somehow always the perfect temperature no matter what you were feeling. It almost feels like he knows how to control his own body temperature on purpose.

He squeezes you tight, not as hard as he does when he’s mad at someone or intentionally trying to hurt them, but a real, genuine hug. And it’s perfect. Others would complain that his squeezes are way to tight, but to you it’s perfect. He’s almost like a weighted blanket. You’re glad you make him feel safe enough to hug you as hard as he wants with genuine love.

He snuggle close to you, leaving soft kisses on his he top of your head and cheek, but not anywhere that may be uncomfortable in your overstimulated time. He’s mindful of where exactly he’s touching you, he knows what parts don’t want to be touched in these moments, even the most obscure ones.

As the two of you snuggle and watch whatever you chose to put on, he mutters sweet things to you.

“I love yooou.” “My boyfriend….” “My boy.” “So handsome”

It seems like he’s in a lovey mood now. Even with his sudden switches, he always seems to know the right things that you need to hear. He also checks up on how you’re feeling.

“Are ya comfortable?” “Feelin’ any better?” “Are you too warm?” “Do ya want your stuffed animal?” “Want me to move my arms?”

When you aren’t talking, the both of you are in a comfortable silence. It starts to become hard to keep your eyes open after the day you’ve had combined with the cozy environment with your boyfriend holding you tight.

Eventually, you can’t fight the exhaustion anymore and feel yourself starting to drift. Before you fully fall asleep, you feel a soft kiss on the top of your head and the arms around you squeeze just a bit tighter.

“G’night Shirmpy, sweet dreams…”

Aaah I love writing comfort fics. Usually my head cannon style posts do better than my actual fics so I guess I’ll see how this goes. Also this is based on my own experience with autism, so if it doesn’t fit you I’m sorry, Ty for reading and have a nice day

[vortex-detected]

After Class

𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: 𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘥𝘰𝘭!𝘭𝘦𝘦 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 (not specified) 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙: 𝘯𝘰 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 1.5K (my minho bias is showing-) 𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙧𝙚: enemies to lovers, slow burn (kinda??), suggestive (making out), comfort 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: cursing, reader has a meltdown (like always?? why do i always do this), minho is kinda out of character (in my opinion, but its cute), minho is kinda mean? but its made up for, reader hits minho, lmk if i missed anything!! 𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮: You're one of the worst dancers in the class, according to Minho, and how much he pays you special attention because of how behind you are. Yet, why does he pick you as his partner for the pairing dance he assigned?

A/N: Hi. I thought of purple Lee Know when I wrote this, cause like.. why would I not?? Anyway, I hope you enjoy it! This was a lot longer than I wanted, but I can't help it, it's Minho. I also listened to skz-replay on repeat as I listened to it, so like, shout out to skz-replay and the motivation it gave me?? I'm rambling, let's get on with the fic!!

“You know you’re doing the move completely wrong, right? Your left foot goes behind your right, not the other way around. Dumbass.” Minho says, glaring at you. “Well, Dumbass, you only showed the move once. Unlike some people, who watch the video once and get it immediately, some of us have to watch it more than once,” you reply, rolling your eyes. He smirks, “So we agree you take longer to learn the dance? Alright, good to know.” “You bit-” “Let’s keep going! Yeah?” he cuts you off, turning around to start the music again.

You sigh, watching him do the move again, making sure you saw how to do it right. Lee Minho is one of the best dancers in your class. He bossed people around, making sure the dances were perfected by everyone. He’d film videos at home, so he can come to class and show them. He took over the teacher's job, as she didn't do anything. She watched him in awe. Everyone did. Except you. You couldn’t deny him of his charms when he dances, or his handsome features. What you could do, though, was his personality. He was a bitch most of the time. Harsh words towards you when you specifically struggled with a move, only to keep you after class to pay special attention to you because “you need it.” It made you feel little, and you hated him for that. It seemed he hated you, too. 

“Yah, [Y/N]. Are you even listening to me?” Minho asked, snapping his fingers in front of you. You shake your head, suddenly getting shy. Everyone’s eyes on you made you want to crumble in a little ball. “Y-Yeah. Sorry. A lot’s been going on recently. Can… I go outside for a bit?” you said, looking down and messing with your fingers. “Be quick. I have an important role for you,” he said, making your head snap up as you looked at him. You nod quickly as you stumble out of the dance practice room, still very overwhelmed. 

You go to the roof as you sit down on the wall. You look up towards the sky, looking at all the clouds. You scroll through your messages and go to the group chat with you and all the dance majors.

Lee Minho- 11:24 PMHere’s the new choreo. I expect you to at least know the first by tomorrow's class.[Video Attachement]

You open the video and you stand up, propping your phone somewhere you can see it. You watch it a couple of times, eventually getting the hang of it. You start it over and start dancing. You watch Minho in the video, which he thoughtfully mirrored, so you didn’t have to do it yourself (really the only thing he’s good for). You follow his movements and just like that it’s over. You sit down, grabbing your phone. “You’ve improved in the, what, eight minutes you’ve been gone?” a voice startled you. You whip your head around to find Minho standing in the doorway. “How long have you been there?” you ask. “Long enough to understand why you took so long outside. Care to come back downstairs so I can show you what I have planned?” he asked (more like stated). You sigh, standing up. “Sorry,” you say, walking passed him. He grabs your arm to turn you around. You look at him, startled. He isn’t one for touching, so this surprised you. “I… wasn’t lying when I said you improved. You did great,” he said, looking at you sincerely. You nod, ripping your arm from his hold, “Thanks. I work better when I’m alone.” He hums, putting his hands in his pockets. “I’ll keep that in mind. Now get downstairs before I push you down.” “Oh, ouch. And you’re back in your dance mode.” “I never left.”

You both reach the dance studio, only to find everyone in pairs. “What… is this?” you asked, looking at Minho. “Well, if you only returned to class five minutes ago, you’d know I put everyone in pairs. I paired everyone, and you-” he pauses to flick your forehead “are stuck with me.” he finished, smirking as he saw your face drop. “I’m- Minho I am your worst option, why did you pick me?” “To show your full potential. You’re better than you think, I saw it myself a couple of minutes ago. You just need the right environment.” he explained. “But-” “Alright guys, it’s almost three. Start wrapping up, and we’ll continue our pair dances tomorrow!” he cut you off, once again. You start walking towards your stuff, but then- “Oh, [Y/N]. Not you. We have to catch up to everyone else since you left for so long.” he smirked. You sigh and sit down, waiting for everyone to leave. 

Minho comes to sit by you asking you a few questions about what you wanted to do. “So, I was thinking of a hip-hop song? That seems like it would be your strong suit, as I saw up on the roof. What do you think?” he asked, not wanting to limit you to one genre. “I have my own question,” you ask, something burning at the back of your head. Everyone has already gone, so you can speak freely. “Ask away-” “What’s the real reason you chose me?” you ask, your insecurities slowly getting the best of you. “What? I already told you, dumbass-” “That. That right there. That’s why I’m so fucking confused, Minho.” you say, standing up suddenly. 

“You always told me how bad I was, telling me how much I needed to improve. Calling me a dumbass and slow for not getting it immediately. You always held me back after class just to scold me even more. Why choose me? I am the worst possible option for you. Your comments justify that, you know? I mean, Felix is a good dancer, I’m sure he’d understand if you wanted to switch with him-” “[Y/N.” “I won’t take it the wrong way because you deserve to dance with someone better than me-” “[Y/N].” “-Or Hyunjin! Hyunjin’s great. He seems to be close to you, too. So switch me out for him-” “[Y/N], please.” he pleaded, coming up to grab your hands. You stop pacing around and look at him. “Why? Why me?” you say, finally letting all your emotions out, the first tear falling. He sighs. 

“I want to get closer to you. I’ve always been mesmerized by you. You dance well, I hope you know that. You aren’t as bad as I make you out to be and I’m sorry I made you feel that way. You’re amazing, I-I was just teasing. I never actually thought about you that way. I sometimes get jealous of you because I think you dance so well, despite how long you’ve been in class. Yes, you do have things to improve on, but so do I. So do I. None of us are perfect and I- fuck- I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I’m truly sorry.” he rambles, pulling you into his chest. You sob into his shirt, clinging onto him. He rubs your back, making sure you feel safe. You pull away and stare at him. “I don’t know if I should be happy all of that was teasing or if I should be fucking furious at you,” you say, shaking your head. He chuckles, “If it’ll make you feel better, you can slap me.” You raise your hand, “Wait! I’m not finished!” he said, suddenly trying to avoid your hand. 

You drop your hand, raising your eyebrows. “You hit me lightly, and I get to do something in return.” “And that is?” you wonder. “You have to hit me first.” You raise your hand and lightly hit his shoulder. “Ow- That wasn't lightly!” he pouted, rubbing his shoulder. “I can go harder,” you said, slowly raising your hand back up. He grabs your wrist, bringing your hand back down, “Kinky, but I still have to do my thing.” he said. You look at him questioningly. “What are your plans, Lee Minho-” before you could finish, you felt something stopping you.

Minho attached his lips to yours and it felt electrifying. You paused for a second, tensing up. He pulled back. “Fuck. I fucked up, didn’t I? I-I thought- I’m sorry-” he said before you cut him off with your kiss. He reciprocated immediately, bringing you closer to him. You wrap your arms around his neck, fingers dancing in his purple locks. You pull away to breathe. “You didn’t fuck up. I was just caught off guard, Min,” you said, smiling. He smiles back, smashing his lips back into yours with more passion. You feel him lick your bottom lip, asking for permission. 

You back away. “Maybe we should catch up with the others, yeah? Show them what we’re capable of,” you say, patting his shoulder. He nods, “Y-Yeah. We should, then can I kiss you more afterward, yeah?” he said, trying to catch your lips again. You block him, “Slow down there, tiger. You haven’t even asked me out yet.” “Isn’t it obvious you’re already mine? You always have been since you joined the class,” he said, trying again. You look at him with a blank stare. He rolls his eyes. “Go out with me? Saturday? I'll take you to dinner, yeah?” he asked, faint pink on his cheeks. “I’d love to, Min,” you said, pulling him into another kiss.

[sundaysundaes]

Started With A Kiss

Lee Donghyuck/Haechan X Reader | Actor AU, Smut, Fluff, Humor | NC-17 | 10K

Summary: Rookie actor, Lee Haechan, desperately wants to get the lead role in the highly anticipated upcoming TV drama. He’s sure he has what it takes to fill the part. Acting as a hero? No problem. Pretending to overcome his traumatic experience? Consider it done. A bed scene? Easy—wait, no. That might be a problem. But he should be fine as long as he gets to rehearse, right?

Warnings:  protected sex, oral sex, crude humor, swearing, literally 10k of sex with very little plot, a lot of playful banters between sassy!hyuck and equally sassy!Y/N

Wrote this for my love Kira @flopim​ who’s been having a tough time lately. I hope this will cheer you up bb! ❤️

“I want you to make love to me.”

Standing there, still dressed in your bright pink pajamas with your hair resembling a bird’s nest, you can only blink once, twice, and several times more because surely, your ears are playing tricks on you. There’s no way that your best friend, the cutely annoying and annoyingly cute, Lee Haechan—the one who’s been practically glued to your skin like a conjoined twin of yours for the last two years—is asking you to make love to him. 

Surely, this is not what you’d expected to see when you opened the door to your apartment, ready to bark at whoever it was who dared to disturb your beauty sleep (since it is seven in the morning on a Sunday), only to see him standing in his blue ripped jeans and black Michael Jackson shirt with his cheeks flushed, his bag hanging loosely on his shoulder, brown eyes desperately begging for your attention. 

And you’re most definitely sure that he’s not asking you to sleep with him when you still have drool on the corner of your mouth and a terrible morning breath (in your defense, you have brushed your teeth but that was, like, six hours ago).

But when seconds have passed and Haechan still looks like he badly needs to hear an answer, you have very little options but to ask, “You want me to do what to who now?”

Catching a sniff of your mighty dragon’s breath, he promptly takes a step back, scrunching his nose while frantically covering half of his face with the script he’s been holding. “Eew, God, what is that smell?” Ignoring your glare, he repeats his words, voice muffled by the papers. “I said, I want you to make love to me.”

“What—”

“Damn it, woman, just brush your teeth and let me in!”

When he’s stomping his feet while whining that loudly—loud enough for your fucking landlord to hear, along with everybody else in the building (including your cute neighbor, Jaehyun, oh dear God, no), he doesn’t give you any other choice but to invite him in, does he?

You step away from the door, flatly muttering, “Please, come in, why don’t you.” Haechan doesn’t waste any second waiting, making sure to run and stay as far away as possible from you so he won’t inhale the poisonous air that’s tainted with your breath again. 

You roll your eyes. Dramatic little shit. But just to be on the safe side, you make your way to the bathroom.

***

The scalding hot shower you just took was comforting but not enough to wash your entire drowsiness away. You’re in dire need of your caffeine intake. “Would you like some coffee, my king?” You ask between a yawn, hands finding their way to the coffee jar on your kitchen counter.

Haechan throws his bag to the floor, body sinking into the comfort of your couch. “With milk, please.”

"I’m kidding.”

“Well, I’m not.” He throws one of those cheeky grins that you adore—no, wait, you hate—as he settles his legs on your coffee table. “Less sugar but more milk. I’m still growing.”

“Growing what, your balls?” You pour him a cup of coffee as requested, yes, because to balance his demonic behavior, you have to act like the perfect angel that you are. “Since you don’t have any?”

“You mean, like your boyfriend?” Haechan retorts before he gasps dramatically, his palm going to his mouth. “Oh, I’m sorry, you don’t have a boyfriend.”

You hover above him from behind the couch, bringing two mugs filled with sizzling hot coffee. “Want to repeat that?” You tip your mug just a little bit until it nearly spills on his forehead.

Haechan winces, attempting to grin. “I’m sorry, I love you, please don’t ruin my face. It’s the only thing that’s good about me.”

“It surely is.”

“Yah, what does that mean?”

“Take it as a compliment.” 

Sitting next to him, you sip your coffee and curse silently when the liquid burns your tongue. “Okay, so what about this ‘make love to me’ thing you said earlier? Please tell me it’s just a figure of speech or something.”

“I wish.” He drags his legs away from the table so he can lay his cup down because apparently, he means business. “Okay, I know you’re gonna kill me after you hear—”

“After? I’m about to kill you now, actually.” You scoff. “Don’t you remember what we’ve agreed on? You cannot bother me when I’m still too sleepy to smack you in the head, Haechannie.”

“When did we ever—” He stops. “Why are you going to smack me in the head?” 

“‘Cause you’ll say something stupid.”

“Who says I’m gonna say something stupid?”

“You always say something stupid. You’re saying something stupid now!”

“It’s not stupid.” He sighs exasperatedly but when your flat, degrading stare comes into view, it morphs into a groan. “Well, not that stupid. I’ve thought about this—really thought about it—and I can’t find anyone else to do this but you since you’re the only girl I’m friends with. I mean, I can pick random girls, I suppose—you know how popular I am. They just can’t stop talking about me. My hair, my eyes—”

“—your tiny dick.”

“But I don’t want to break any girl’s heart by doing something that’s gonna make them feel like I’m just using them to get a job, you know? I know I’m hot but these good looks aren’t meant to trample people’s hearts.”

“And you don’t care how I’m gonna feel?”

He has the decency to act like he’s thinking about it, but then, “No, not really.”

“Thanks.”

“Look, I really need your help.” He takes it as further as holding your hand between his, puckering his pouty lips, and blinking his eyes in a way that’s cute enough to leave you in daze so you pretend like you’re about to vomit your insides to cover it up. 

Okay, so there’s one thing—one little thing that nobody knows—that you’re too ashamed to admit and that is the fact that you have a massive crush on this boy who sits in front of you with his socks unmatched. Well, no, not massive. It used to be massive during the first few weeks you knew him. How could you not? Haechan was so cute, you wanted to turn him into a doll so you could carry him around in your backpack and squish his cheeks whenever you feel like it. Sure, he’s not all jawlines and dimples like that neighbor of yours (Jung Jaehyun was probably sculpted by God himself ), but Haechan has his own charms. His devilish smirk, his loud, contagious laughter, his naughty eyebrow raise, and his lips—God, his beautiful plump lips, the way they look so pouty and soft. Honestly, you can write a whole essay about his attractive features (not that you haven’t already).

You knew you were crazy for him when the antics he did annoyed the hell out of his friends but to you, he was just plain adorable. And you realized you were pretty much fucked-up when Jeno said, “Fucking Lee Donghyuck said he forgot his wallet and robbed me this morning. Who the fuck orders a freakin’ wagyu steak for breakfast?!” and the only thing you could think of was how nice it was to go on a date with him and how your first kiss with him was going to be like (poor Jeno, though). 

It’s not that you love him or anything. It’s mostly physical, nothing more—at least for now anyway. It’s not your fault that he’s so fucking pretty that he ends up showing every now and then in your fantasy, doing indescribable naughty things that will definitely make Mark splash some holy water on your face if he knew what was going on in your head.

Fortunately, now that you’ve been friends with him for two years, that massive crush you had has turned into something normal, something you can easily hide. And can be forgotten even, whenever another cute guy—like Na Jaemin, for example—takes you out on a date or two. It’s easier to breathe these days.

“Hello? Are you there?” Haechan snaps his fingers, waking you up from your reverie. “What’s your answer? Do you want to make love to me or not?”

‘It’s easier to breathe these days?’ More like fucking kill me. 

“Can you stop saying that?” You pinch the bridge of your nose. “You’re giving me headaches.” Or a heart attack, more accurately. “Assume I said yes. Don’t you think it’s gonna get a little weird between us?”

“What is so weird about it?” He throws his hands in the air, exhausted and impatient. “It’s just gonna be two friends, pretending to be in love with each other, hugging, kissing, touching, and having sweet, tender sex.” Realization falls upon him and you resist the urge to exhale loudly. “Yeah, okay, so it is a little weird, but it should be fine, right? It’s just acting. It’s not like you have any feelings for me, do you?”

If by feelings you mean picturing you naked in my head with your mouth sucking on my neck, then yeah, I do have feelings for you. Plenty of that. But on the outside, you say, “Eew, God, no.”

Haechan squints his eyes at your response. “Can’t say I’m not hurt with the way you said it, but eew, God, no to you too. Well, if that’s the case then I’m sure we’ll be fine,” he says, sipping his coffee, and retracts his mouth as soon as the flavor hits his tongue. “What the hell is this?! Did you spit on my coffee or something?”

You didn’t but for your amusement, you throw him a sly grin. “A little.” It’s satisfying to see him looking like he’s about to pass out. “I’m still worried how it’s gonna affect our friendship later on though.”

He simply shrugs. “Meh. We’re not really that close to begin with anyway.” He takes another sip of his coffee by accident and nearly vomits for real. “Fucking hell—take this shit out of my face.”

“I'm still not sure about this, Haechannie.”

“Look, I don’t know why it’s such a big deal to you, we’re just going to pretend! Acting!” He exclaims as if that was the most normal thing a friend could ask another friend. “And you’re gonna be acting out a love scene with someone as hot as me. Consider yourself lucky.”

“Consider yourself dead.”

“Damn it, my audition is in two days and I really want to get this role!” He’s whining, tugging at your hand like a baby as he practically throws himself at your feet, graveling for your mercy. “You’re the only one who can help me with this. How can I act properly if I don’t have enough experience to perform a freaking bed scene?!”

“I don’t think actors who have to play dead have enough experience of, you know, being dead.”

“Excellent point.” Haechan stares at you blankly, unimpressed. “Do you hear yourself when you talk?”

“Do you?”

A few seconds passed by in silence with the two of you exchanging sinister glares until he finally surrenders with a prominent pout on his face. “Fine, if you don’t want to.” Haechan exhales dramatically, his shoulders sagging and when you don’t respond, he sighs again only louder this time. “I guess, I have to force Mark to make out with me. Again.” He sneaks a glance to see your reaction. “And have my face slapped with a Bible. Again.”

You wince at the thought. “How did you force him, exactly?”

“Just…” He timidly scratches his nose. “Kinda attacked him in his sleep.”

You nod in understanding even when it’s the most idiotic thing you’ve ever heard. “Well, maybe he would’ve been fine with it if you had taken him out for a nice dinner before that.”

Haechan smiles a little at your words, and even a little glimpse of it is contagious enough to make your own spread wider on your face. Small chuckles resonate through the air and he playfully bumps his shoulder against yours, his palm resting on your knuckles.

“On a more serious note,” Haechan says, “I know that asking you to rehearse a bed scene with me is too much and way out of line. But I swear, I’m not gonna touch you if you’re so uncomfortable with it. Won’t even hold your hand, I promise.” Then he notices he’s still holding your hand from earlier. He drops it immediately, clearing his throat. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” It’s more than fine. His hand seems to fit yours in a way that nobody ever does but there’s no way you’re gonna tell him that. “So, we’re just gonna be practicing lines?”

“Exactly.” He rubs his nape, suddenly a bit bashful. “Well, I was hoping to at least kiss you—just to, you know, know how it’d feel like.”

“You’ve never kissed before?”

“I have, obviously.” He rolls his eyes, disgusted at your question. “I’m not a fucking virgin if that’s what you’re assuming.”

“Chill, don’t get your panties in a twist. Nah, I know you’re not a virgin from how many times you’ve had sex with yourself.”

“Hey!” 

“But then, why do you need to practice? Can’t you just go straight to your castmates, and kiss the bejeezus out of them?”

Donghyuck runs a hand through his face. “It’s… I’ve never done it for a role,” he professes, faint blush blooming on his cheeks, “And the scene is supposed to be intimate and I’ve never… You know…”

You gesture at him to clarify more with your hands. “You’ve never…?”

“You know…” The color on his face turns brighter. “T-the thing.”

“What thing? Never made-out in public? Never had sex outdoor?” You act clueless just because you’re liking his reaction. “Never had a finger stuck in your ass? What? Please do enlighten me.”

“I’ve never been in love, you witch!” Haechan is adorable when he’s fuming. Nostrils blaring, eyebrows knitting together in an angry frown, scarlet cheeks all puffed out. He looks like a terribly pissed Pomeranian.

Man, if I could just take a picture. “Oh, okay. So have you had your finger stuck in your ass?”

“I swear to God—”

“Kidding. I know you have.” But even when Haechan is nearly ripping your cheeks apart from your face, your giggles are never-ending. “So, you’re nervous?” You snort, raising an eyebrow. “You, the obnoxious, desperate-for-attention Lee Haechan, are nervous?”

“Will you help me out or not?!”

You pretend like you’re contemplating about it when truth is, every part of your body and mind is just screaming what the heck are you waiting for? He’s asking you to rehearse a bed scene—a. bed. scene! And he said he wanted to kiss you, for God’s sake! So, really, what else is there to say but “Okay.”

Haechan widens his eyes. “Okay?”

“Okay.” You try your best to appear nonchalant. “But you’ll owe me a favor. A huge one.”

“Anything,” he instantly agrees, “As long as I’m not dead, you have my words.”

You’re not yet sure what you’re planning to ask him but seeing his enthusiasm, you know it’s going to be good. “Great. So, umm, do you want to do it now or…?”

“Whenever you’re ready.”

“Here?”

“Wherever you want.”

“Man, you’re giving me too much power. I should’ve agreed to this way sooner.” You can practically feel your face splitting in half from how wide you’re grinning. “My room, then? I mean, a bed scene requires… a bed, right?”

Haechan laughs and even after two years, it still sounds like your most favorite thing in the world. “No, it doesn’t necessarily require a bed but sure.” He jumps out from the couch, taking you by the hand, and only by that, you can already feel your heart thumping a tad faster. But the second he walks into your room, he makes a face. “Why does it smell like something died in here?”

“Because something did die. Your dignity.”

The tickling fight doesn’t occur very often between you and Lee Haechan but once it starts, it means war.

***

“Okay, so…” Haechan hands you the script, already opened to show you a page filled with dialogues and short narratives. He scoots closer on the bed, his knee a few inches away from grazing yours as they dangle from the edge. “Just from the top of the page, here.” He points with his finger and you do a quick scan, trying to get a picture of the intimate scene you’re going to do. “So, a quick summary. Your character, Aeri, has been in love with my character, Donghyun. In the earlier scene, you’ve confessed your love to me but I rejected you because we’ve been friends for so long and I didn’t want to ruin what we have. But then, later on, some things happened and I ended up catching feelings for you and this is the part where I’m gonna be telling you how I really feel and then we start kissing and—”

“Then we have sex,” you utter in dismay, but butterflies are erupting from your stomach due to the anticipation.

“No,” Haechan corrects you, “We make love.”

“Is there any difference?”

“There are more feelings involved, not just out of sheer passion. It’s slower. Tender. Intimate.” And when he notices you raising a questioning brow at him, he sighs. “That thing you did with Jaemin? Fucking like bunnies? The opposite of that.”

You mock him by imitating his sigh exaggeratedly and receiving a flick on the nose in return. “Is it just me or is the script pretty lousy?”

He nods. “But they’ll pay you good money for this.”

“I thought the reason you became an actor was to create art not money.”

“When I’m rich, maybe. Right now, I gotta pay for my rent. And apparently, Jeno keeps chasing my ass, forcing me to pay him back. It was just a wagyu steak for fuck’s sake.” He grumbles to himself, momentarily distracted. “Anyway,” he cracks his neck, “I’ve memorized my lines. Wanna give it a go?”

“Okay, let’s try. I guess I’ll be fine if it’s just kissing. Even if it’s with you.” When in reality you’re only agreeing to this because it’s with him.

Haechan’s eyes gleam brighter, ears practically perking up like an excited puppy. “Really?”

“You’re that excited at the thought of kissing me?” You play smug but you could practically hear your heartbeat blasting through your ears. “What else have you been thinking about me?”

“I’m not excited at the thought of kissing you, dumbass,” he spits back, the spark in his eyes vanishes in an instant. “I’m excited that finally I can practice kissing scenes with someone who’s actually willing to do it, and not, you know, like with the back of my hand or something.”

“You…” Failing to hold back a grin, you burst out laughing. “You made out with your hand?”

It’s funny that even when his skin is golden as if it was kissed by the sun, it still shows vividly on his face whenever he blushes. “I didn’t mean it literally—”

“I can’t believe you made out with your hand.”

“Would you just—” He nearly suffocates you with your pillow but you quickly retaliate by kicking him in the stomach.

Tears are prickling at the corner of your eyes. “Man, that mental image of yours making out with your hand will live in my mind rent-free for as long as I live.” When you still can’t stop laughing, Haechan is practically baring his teeth. “Okay, I’m sorry. Let’s get this going. If it gets too uncomfortable for me, I’ll stop.”

“Of course.” 

“At any time I want.”

“Your call.” He nods in agreement with the most serious expression you’ve ever seen him do; it almost doesn’t seem like him. 

“Good,” you say. “Now, I’ve never acted once in my life so if you laugh at me, I will sneak into your room at night and pour hot coffee on your computer.”

There’s fear fleeting through his eyes but he gives another nod. “Deal.”

“All right…” You take a deep breath, willing your heart to stop hammering against your ribcages, and for once, focus more on the script instead of the shape of his pretty, pretty mouth. “What are you doing here?” You follow the script, voice a little bit shaky as you’re still embarrassed with everything you’re doing. Haechan closes his eyes and you’re about to throw a joke to tease him about actor Haechan coming alive but when he opens them and gazes at you, you sit still, frozen.

“I wanted to see you,” he says, voice so delicate, it startles you. He’s so serious about this that you don’t find the strength within you to tease him like how you usually do. Somehow, the little gestures he makes, the changes in his expression alter the air along with the tension in the room. Suddenly, it feels like you’re standing next to him under the spotlight, hundreds of pairs of eyes following your every movement. 

“It’s—” You swallow your breath, tongue lays heavy in your mouth. “It's pouring outside, why are you—”

“I love you,” he vocalizes, his eyes gentle and heartbroken. His voice suddenly sounds a pitch lower, reverberating through the air until it sends goosebumps to the tiny hairs on your nape. He waits for your reply and you have to blink twice to slap yourself back to reality.

“W-what?”

“I’m sorry it took me this long to realize, but I do. I’m in love with you, hopelessly so.” He reaches out to cup your cheek, his thumb caressing your cheekbone. Though he has pretty hands, his fingertips are not as soft as you had imagined them to be, but they feel better, feel real. His warmth is unfamiliar to your skin but it feels more pleasant than anything that ever touches you. “Maybe you’re unaware of this, but it kills me to know that I’ve hurt you because I simply couldn’t be brave enough to accept my feelings. The reason why I didn’t want us to be together was because I didn’t want to ruin what we have, not knowing that we could be something more.”

Haechan’s lines fit your situation so much that you wish he wasn’t acting. It’s amazing how he’s changing into an entirely different persona and yet, it feels so natural as if he has been that person all along. Your breathing gets heavier as you take a brief look at the script, searching for your lines. “This feels unreal…”

“Do you still love me?” Haechan lifts your face by the chin, his touch is paper-thin. 

You wet your lips, head swirling. “But Donghyun—”

“Do you still love me?” He repeats, emphasizing with his tone. His eyes are peering into yours and you wonder maybe the quote eyes deeper than the sea refers to his gaze. “Or is it too late for me?” His thumb drifts to your lip, caressing your bottom one, your lip balm sticking to his skin. 

“I do,” you reply. He’s so pretty. You’ve never taken a glance longer than a few seconds at his close-up face, but now that you’re in this close proximity, you can finally witness the two tiny moles on his cheek, the beautiful shape of his dark eyes, the delicate curve of his lips… “I do love you, Donghyuck.”

A few seconds of silence hangs in the air when Haechan stops, his eyebrows furrowing. “Umm—it’s Donghyun, actually.”

Fuck! “Right!” You nearly leap out of your bed, face aflame. “Donghyun! Of course! I don’t know why I said that. Donghyuck is your name, I know that—” Fuck, fuck, fuck, just fucking kill me. “Sorry, umm—nervous.”

Fortunately for you, Haechan buys your bluff. “Rookie mistake,” he chuckles and you exaggeratedly roll your eyes to play along. “Okay, let’s start over. Do you still love me?”

“I do,” you respond too rigidly, making him glance away so he won’t break into laughter. “I do love you, Donghyun. Dong-Hyun.”

“Good,” he improvises, as it’s not written in the script. He has a tiny smile on his face and you like to think that it’s just him doing a terrible job at hiding his amusement. But when he swats your bangs out of your eyes, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, he seems like he’s seeing the most beautiful thing he has ever seen in his whole life. The adoration in his eyes, his loving gaze—they are so vivid, they nearly consume you. “Because I don’t think I can resist this any longer…”

You’re lost in his eyes, lost in his touch, lost in his warmth. It’s until Haechan nudges his head slightly, indicating you to wake up, you’ve got a line to say, that you jolt, eyes hurriedly going down to the script, seeking your lines. “Umm—“ You flinch. You sound so jittery, it’s terrible. “R-resist what…?”

But Haechan doesn’t pay a mind that you just stuttered from saying two words. He doesn’t ask you to start over. Instead, he presses his forehead against yours, his breath mingling in the air and you can taste the scent of sandalwood and summer. Combined with his soft breathing, you’re almost stuck in a haze, just reeling in the feeling of how this man is now closer to you than he has ever been in the past two years and it’s better than anything you’ve ever imagined.

“Resist this,” he whispers and before you can look down to check whether you have more lines to say, Haechan dips his head, his lips brushing against yours, ever so faintly at first but when you gasp, he presses harder, framing your cheeks with both hands before he moves one down to your waist. Unlike his fingertips, his lips are soft—softer than silk or the cotton candy he once bought you. But it’s not the way they feel or the way he tastes that distract you the most. It’s the way he moves them, parting his lips slightly so he can blend with yours, your lower lip fits perfectly between his plump ones. It’s the way he sighs, so contentedly, as if kissing you was everything he ever wanted.

You close your eyes, hands reaching up to his collar, wanting to feel him more, wanting to touch him—

Haechan breaks away, placing both hands on your shoulders. “How was it?”

You’ve never had someone splash cold water on your face but you figure it might feel something like this. Your voice grows hoarse when you speak. “How was what?”

“The kiss!” Haechan’s eyes are filled with concern, analyzing your expression. “Was it romantic enough? Tender enough? Did it properly convey the desperation and longing my character feels for yours?”

You knew this was a bad idea. You fucking knew it. So, why are you still hurt when he acts like he feels exactly nothing by that kiss? This is just an acting lesson for him. You should have been prepared. 

“It’s good,” you answer, averting your gaze and hiding your eyes behind your bangs. Your heart is still running a thousand miles an hour but somehow, it doesn’t feel as pleasant as before. “So, next scene—”

“Wait, are you okay?” Haechan asks, bending slightly to catch a glimpse of your face. “Was it too much? Do you want to stop?”

Truth is, you’re conflicted. You’re going to catch feelings—you most likely already are. But Haechan only treats you as a friend and nothing more, and this is the only chance you have to be this close to him. The temptation of continuing the kiss, to just hold him close for one more time, stands stronger than anything else so you say, “No. I promised you I’d help.”

He’s still unsure, eyes glinting in concern. “It’s okay if you want to stop, I—”

“Let’s just do the damn scene, Donghyuck.”

Haechan freezes on his seat, eyes searching yours as you now have the bravery to look at his face. Knowing you came on too strong, you try to ease it off with a smile. “I’m fine, don’t worry. It’s just my first time doing this—acting, I mean. Can we try again?”

He spends another few seconds trying to decipher the true meaning behind your smile but eventually nods his head at your command. He drags his finger back to the script. “Then, umm… Let’s start from here?”

You don’t even look at the page when you give affirmation. “Go.”

Haechan takes a moment to prepare himself and when your eyes meet each other again, he’s a different person once more. “The reason why I didn’t want us to be together was because I didn’t want to ruin what we have, not knowing that we could be something more.” His voice is so soothing, you almost forget that deep down you’re immensely upset knowing that the kiss didn’t have the same effects on him.

This time, when he frames your face with his palm, you lean into his touch, eyes never leaving his. “This feels unreal,” you say and for a second—just for a split second—you notice Haechan breaking out of character, surprised by the gentle expression on your face. Because you’re not acting out his script, you’re acting out on your feelings. It’s your only chance to be honest with him without forcing him to respond. So you pour all these feelings you have for him out in the open—ones that started from a mere physical attraction to something more as his presence grew bigger in your life, you’re acting out each and every one of them. 

“Do…” He inhales sharply, trying to focus. “Do you still love me?” He’s doing the same thing as before, placing his thumb and index finger on your chin but before he can say his lines, you see how his eyes fall on your lips.

And you kiss him. You kiss him with everything you have, hands going to his face, fingers slipping between his strands, and Haechan gasps against your mouth, his fingers curling around your wrist. You know he’s about to push you away so you quickly murmur, “I do,” against his lips, breath stuttering, “I do love you.”

When you take his bottom lip between yours, teeth grazing against his supple skin, Haechan lets out an involuntary moan at the back of his throat. The butterflies in your stomach come alive, pumping a rush of adrenaline through your veins and suddenly, you’re brave enough to glide your tongue across his lip. His hold tightens around your wrist but instead of pushing you away, he tugs you closer and you fall into his chest, hands breaking free from his grip to wind around his neck. Your fingertips are scraping against his nape before they move upward to yank at the roots of his hair. “Fuck,” he breathes out, almost inaudibly, as if he didn’t mean to let the word slip from his mouth and it makes your heart jumps straight out of your chest. The second he responds properly, Haechan kisses like fire, all passion and urgency, and you really don’t mind being consumed by his flames.

His hands are on your waist, pulling you closer and closer until you’re almost sitting on his lap before he jolts awake, pushing you away so abruptly, you almost fall from the bed.

“I’m—We—” he stammers, looking everywhere but your eyes. His cheeks are flushed, his lips bruised and red from your kisses. “I think we should—I gotta go—“

He stands up from the bed like the sheets are catching on fire, picking his script from the floor and gathering all his belongings at once before he runs toward the door. He turns on his heels, wanting to say something to fix the goddamn situation, but when his eyes land on yours, his words vanish without a trace. 

“I—I’ll call you later,” he finally says and doesn’t wait for your response. The front door closes with a thud.

And then silence comes to answer.

What just happened? 

Your heart is thundering inside your chest, you’re starting to feel nauseous. What have I done? You keep asking over and over. You thought everything was going to be fine. He responded to your kiss earlier, didn’t he? You were sure you didn’t imagine the whole thing. But now he’s gone and you’re not sure whether he’s gonna come back as the same Haechan—the old, bratty but caring Lee Haechan. The one who snickers loudly when you fall face-first on the ground but always steals secret glances at you to make sure you're not hurt. The one who makes jokes about your love life but never forgets to show up at your apartment with a thoughtful gift right at the minute you turn a year older. 

Things are not just gonna get awkward, they’re ruined.

When nearly half an hour has passed by and you’re still left alone in your apartment with no signs of him coming back, you’re about to go insane. You can’t stay still, walking back and forth your living room with the tip of your thumb between your teeth.

Should I chase after him and explain that it was just me trying to improvise? You hesitate with your hand lingering on the doorknob. But with your knees nearly giving up under your weight, you decide to stay put. It will probably just gonna make it worse. He’ll see through my lies, he always does.

You’re straying away to the kitchen, hands placed on the counter. You can feel your head spinning, stomach somersaulting. Damn it, why did I have to do that?! Why couldn’t I just— 

The front door slams opened and Haechan barges in with his hair messy, ruffled by the wind, and his bangs sticking to his temple. Stunned, you stand still on your ground. Your heart is the only one that’s moving beyond control. His eyes scan your apartment until they land on yours and for an instant, everything seems to fade away.

“Fuck it,” he says, dropping his bag to the ground and making his way towards you in such a hurry, he nearly trips over his feet. “You’re not that good of an actor to be faking it.” Before you have the chance to even take a breath, Haechan’s lips are smashing against yours. 

“Hae—” Haechan’s kiss is insane. So forceful that you can barely keep up, taking every bit of air directly from your lungs. He has you backed against the kitchen counter, the marbled edge digging into your skin. His hands frame your face, sliding against your cheek until they cup the backsides of your neck, his thumbs resting against your ears. You curl your fingers around his wrist, gasping, “Wait—”

He pulls away, lifting your face so you can’t bring your gaze anywhere else. “You like me?” His eyes are just as intense, begging for answers. “Please tell me I’m not imagining this.”

But behind that passion, his confidence is wavering. You can tell by his quivering breath, the little tremble running through his fingertips, and at that, you’re drowning in relief. You don’t think he’s that good of an actor to be faking this too. 

“I do,” you admit, heart pounding so loudly that you can barely hear your own voice. “I like—”

His mouth is on yours again and it feels like he’s kissing you in a hundred different places at once. “Jesus Christ, why have you kept quiet about this for so long?” he says, tasting your breath and skin at the same time. “Two fucking years. We wasted two fucking years.”

The words this isn’t happening endlessly run through your head but all your senses scream that Haechan is really here, in your arms, his nails clawing against your shirt and there’s nothing left you want from this world.

When you reciprocate to him properly, your palms sliding up his chest, over his shoulder, until your arms circle his neck, Haechan sighs in content. His kisses grow slower—more relaxed—but deeper, his tongue peeking out shyly at first but not for long. He still tastes faintly like the coffee you made and something else entirely different. Something pleasant that’s just exactly how you’ve fantasized him to be, if not more.

He pulls away to catch his breath with his eyes still focusing on your lips, thumb rubbing your lower one. “Does this feel weird to you?” He whispers, his temple pressing against yours.

You’re intoxicated by his sweet scent though you’re not sure whether it’s the smell of his shampoo, his cologne, or just him altogether. “No,” and as soon as the word comes out, his lips are chasing after yours once more.

“Good, ‘cause I don’t think I can stop.” He’s breathing heavily against your mouth as you are against his. With his fingers twisted in your hair, making a messy ponytail out of it, Haechan peppers open-mouthed kisses on your neck, tongue pressing against your pulsating vein and a whimper escapes your mouth.

Your dreams, your fantasies—they all fall pale in comparison to reality. When you vocalize his name, it almost sounds like a plead and Haechan slants his mouth back on yours again, giving you another taste as he is not satisfied with yours just yet. “Your lips taste amazing,” he breathes out and it’s so quiet, it seems like he’s intending to say the words in his head and not with his mouth. But as his words fall on your ears, they send tingles down your spine.

“So do yours,” you reply, attempting to make him blush in return but if he does, he doesn’t show much. “Never pegged you as a man who wears lip balm.”

You can feel his smirk directly with your skin. “I’m not wearing any.”

“You’re not?” You lightly giggle, swiping your tongue across his lower lip. “Then your lips do taste amazing.”

Haechan’s hand is slipping underneath your shirt, fingers hovering above your bra. “Guess there are still a lot of things you don’t know about me, huh?”

“I’ve got a hunch you’re about to teach me?”

“Only if you’re eager to learn.”

The kiss becomes heavier that you’re lost for words, entirely consumed by his passion, until he breaks away, muttering, “Off, off, off, off, off,” as he struggles to tear the fabric away from your body. You titter at his desperation, raising both hands to help him out of his misery. The second it’s off, he lifts you by the waist and places you down on the counter. 

“I’m amazed you could lift me,” you coo, admiring the sight of his lean stomach as he pulls his shirt over his head. His silver necklace hangs loosely around his neck and you hook a finger around it to yank him back to you.

He doesn’t seem to be able to detach his lips from yours for too long, especially when you keep sneaking glances at his. So when he speaks again, his every word is painted directly to your skin. “It wasn’t easy.” He settles between your thighs, mouth latching against your collarbone. “You weigh a ton.”

“Yeah?” You bite your lip, holding back a moan as he sucks bruises on your neck, the edge of his fingers trailing over the seam of your bra. “Then you must be so strong.”

“I am, haven’t you noticed?” Haechan pulls away just to showcase a mischievous grin. “I work out, you know.”

You blurt out laughing. It’s not solely because of the mental image of Lee Haechan—a full-time gamer, Lee Haechan—doing push-ups seems so funny to you. It’s more about the way he wiggles his eyebrow, trying to be sexy about it when you know he’s the weakest one in your group. Flustered at your reaction, he flicks your nose. “What is so funny?”

“I’m sorry,” you apologize though it doesn’t seem that much sincere with the way you’re still giggling at him. “It’s just that an hour ago we were two friends making fun of each other and now we’re here, in this position. I don’t know, it just feels surreal to me.”

An adorable pout blooms on his face. “I thought you said this didn’t feel weird.”

“No, it’s perfect. I want this.” You wrap the end of his necklace twice around your index finger. “I want you. It’s just… I’ve been imagining this to happen for such a long time and now that it’s happening, I’m feeling a lot of things at once.” You place a reassuring kiss on his temple. “I’m nervous.” This time landing one on his cheek. “I’m relieved.” When your lips hover above his, you notice him parting his own slightly in anticipation. “And it feels so good, I don’t ever want to stop. Even if that means we can’t go back to being friends.”

Haechan can’t form a response as you don’t let him, your mouth swallowing the tiny moans he emits. “We’ll talk about that later,” he hastily replies, “I still haven’t had enough of you yet.”

Without warning, he lifts you off the counter, making you yelp and wrap your legs around his waist for support. “Haechannie!” With you holding onto him, he takes a step forward, ignoring your call. “Where are you taking me—"

“Wait, no, back pain, back pain.” Both of you nearly tumble down to the ground from how he’s harshly placing you back to your feet, wincing at the ache erupting from the strained muscles in his spine. He’s groaning in pain, massaging his back with both hands. “Fuck, you’re really heavy!”

“That’s no way to talk to a lady.” You throw your slipper at him, missing his head just a few inches, laughing all the way. “What exactly were you trying to do?”

“I was trying to move us to the couch.”

“All you had to do was ask.”

“I was trying to be sexy.” He juts out his lower lip, and it takes all control of your body to not squeeze his cheeks from how adorable he looks.

“Honey, you are sexy, believe me, but you’re also weak as fuck. Consider hitting the gym for real next time and then carry me.”

“Shut up,” he sighs, holding out a hand for you to take. “To the couch, please? And maybe a massage after this ‘cause my back is killing me.”

Shaking your head in amusement, you take his hand, intertwining your fingers with his and drag him over to the couch. He’s in the middle of asking, “Do you want me to be on top or—” when you push him down and straddle his lap without warning, legs tangling around his hips. “Oh, okay.”

You run a hand through his hair, pushing them back so you can witness the glow in his eyes. “You look sexier with your hair pushed back.” You love the way he stares at you, eyes half-lidded painted with lust and desire. And combined with your commentary, he now has his cheek tinted with red. “Do you have a problem with me being on top?”

His eyes quickly run down to the place where your denim shorts are riding up your thighs, your zipper pressing against his groin. With a noticeable gulp, he stutters out, “N-no.”

You smile, patting his cheek. “Good.”

The kiss starts slow as you focus more on moving your hands down his body. Haechan shivers a little when your palm is pressing against his bare chest, sliding down to his navel. When you pull back, raising a questioning brow at his reaction, he bashfully says, “Your hand’s cold,” looking like a nervous little boy who’s a stark contrast to how he usually behaves.

He’s so cute.

“Well, I know a way to warm you up.” You smirk, almost cringing when you hear your own words but Haechan seems to like it.

“Oooh,” he coos, grinning against your lips. “Are you offering what I think you’re offering?”

“I don’t know.” You kiss your way down from his jawline to his chest, pushing yourself off his lap so you can kneel on the floor, your fingers unbuckling his belt. “What do you think I’m offering?”

Haechan’s eyes are glowing with anticipation. He curves his fingers around the edge of his seat, wetting his lip nervously when you pull his zipper down. You release him from his boxer, stroking him to life and he sinks his nails further into the couch. A train of expletives breaks free from his mouth but he’s so quiet, you can only hear his ragged breathing.

But by the time you run your thumb over his slit, your hot breath hitting his sensitive skin, Haechan melts into a whimpering mess. “Please don’t tease,” he begs.

“I haven’t even started, Haechannie.” And he looks like he’s about to say something but it only turns into a mewl when you press a kiss to his tip. “You’re so cute,” you comment, and he shivers when the vibration of your voice meets his skin. 

Haechan tries to act composed. “Of course I’m cute, it’s—” 

You cut his line short by darting out your tongue, giving kitten licks at the side, smiling satisfyingly when his eyes meet yours. As you give him a little suck around his tip, he throws his head back, his lower lip between his teeth. “I—I said don’t tease.”

“I’m not teasing you.” But you are. How can you not? He looks so fucking cute. You’ve never really enjoyed giving head before, especially when your opponent gets rough and ends up pushing too deep until you gag. But with Haechan, you feel like you can do this for hours. He’s so nervous and shy, doesn’t even dare to place his hand on your hair, and his reaction to every bit of your action is honest even when his words aren’t. 

“Here.” You take one of his hands, moving it to your head. “You can use me as much as you want.”

“Use—” he crumbles at your choice of words. When you suddenly envelop him with your mouth, moving from the tip to the base in one quick motion, Haechan instinctively grabs a handful of your hair, flinching. “Goddamn, why are you so fucking hot?”

You giggle, sliding his cock out of your mouth with an obscene pop. “Thanks.”

“No, I mean your mouth. It’s so fucking warm.”

“So, you’re saying,” you dip your tongue into his slit, eyes seductively peering into his. “I’m not hot?”

“You’re—Fuck, fuck—” Haechan seethes, hips buckling when you bob your head down again, tongue pressing against his veins. Shivers run through his fingertips when he slips them between your locks, pushing your fringe back to have a good look at your face. You catch a glimpse of him, his lips unconsciously moving to form words that you can’t hear. So pretty, he seems to say, and the thought of it makes your stomach lurch in delight. Taking him completely in your mouth, you hollow your cheeks, swallowing around him. He tightens his hold around your hair, cheeks flushed and you expect him to hold you in place so he can thrust against your mouth but what he does is pull you away. “Stop, stop, stop, stop.”

Wiping a string of saliva away with the back of your hand, you ask with a frown. “Something’s wrong?”

Haechan hides his reddening face behind his fingers, quietly answering, “I was about to come.”

You hold back a grin. With a nonchalant hum, you dip your head down again, this time engulfing him until he hits the back of your throat.

“Jesus Christ.” His sanity is deteriorating, he can feel it.

“Don’t bring Lord’s name when I have your dick in my mouth, Haechannie. Mark would kill you if he knew.”

“Fuck Mark. Come here.” He rushes forward, forcibly pulling you up with both hands clamping your arms. When you follow his order, settling back down on top of his lap, he confesses with his lips grazing against the shell of your ear. “I really won’t last long if you keep doing that.”

Despite your previous teasing and confidence, you squirm inside his arms, feeling warmth spreading from your chest to your cheek. “So I have these effects on you?”

He’s almost growling when he retorts, “You don’t even know.” Haechan pushes your bra strap until it falls off your shoulder, teeth marking your supple skin until you hiss in both pain and pleasure. He presses a softer kiss to soothe away the bruise. “Sorry, I… You’re gonna need to cover it up tomorrow.”

“It’s fine.” You stroke his cheek, tracing the tiny mole on his jawline. “Seems like you have a biting kink.”

He sheepishly chuckles, “I don’t know. But if you let me, I’d love to do that again.” 

Something about him saying it in the most sincere way possible, almost too formal even, makes you crave more for him and everything he does. “You’re allowed to do whatever you want with me, Lee Donghyuck.”

Haechan swallows hard, barely has the bravery to look at you in the face after hearing your words and his real name tumbling out of your mouth. His fingers are now on the hem of your shorts, trembling a little bit. “Umm—may I?”

Helping him further, you stand on your knees, unclasping your bra first to his surprise and pulling your denim shorts and panties down to your thighs. Haechan watches with his eyes wide open, mouth parted in awe as he commits every bit of your curve and movement into memory. It feels so thrilling to be this wanted, to be ravished by his eyes, until you begin to struggle to push your clothing away from your legs.

“Need some help?” He asks, lips pursing as he tries to hide a grin. 

You exhale loudly, detaching yourself from him. “Let me just—” You jump off his lap, standing back with your feet on the ground, and kicking the clothing away with annoyance—why in the world did you have to wear shorts this tight—and slap him in the chest when he’s chuckling at the sight. 

“Maybe you should stop trying to be sexy too,” Haechan snickers.

“Shut up.” You crawl back into his lap. “Go back to staring dumbly at me like before. I’m naked.”

“I wasn’t staring like tha—oh,” he inhales sharply as you grind your heat against his cock, amazed at how warm you are despite your cold palms. The sensation of skin meeting skin feels much more different. There’s really no going back this time. Somehow, it feels dangerous, as if you’re doing something forbidden and it makes your skin crawl with excitement.

And by the look on his face, seems like he feels the same way.

“Lost for words?” You taunt him with a smirk, hands on his chest. “That’s new.” His glare is menacing but it falters away the second you rub your arousal against his. 

His head falls to his shoulder, eyes tightly shut. “God, baby…”

There it is again. The funny feeling in your stomach. “Baby?” You simper though your heart is palpitating like crazy. “We’re moving on to giving each other pet names now?”

If he can blush any harder than this, he probably might but with the way you’re grinding shamelessly on his cock, letting him get a glimpse of how wet and warm you are, he’s all maxed-out. 

His earlobe lays between your teeth when you whisper, “Shall we put it in?”

Haechan’s nails are sinking into the skin of your hips, both to hold you in place so you’ll stop torturing him and to press you down harder on his crotch. “I…” He’s so distracted, he can’t even think. The way the side of his length is pressing against your folds is pushing every little bit of self-control he has to the back of his head.

“Haechannie?” You giggle, moving your hips. “I kinda asked you a question here.”

“Yes, fuck, yes, please.” Haechan tries his very best to not sound that desperate for your touch but he is that desperate. “Wait—aren’t we—shouldn’t I wear a condom first?”

You blink, halting your movement. “You brought a condom with you?”

He nods as he leans forward, fingers searching frantically at the pocket of his jeans that hang low on his knees. “Here.”

“Why do you have a condom with you?”

“‘Cause I bought it downstairs just now.”

Your jaw grows slack at the realization. “Is that the reason why your hair was so messy and you were sweating when you barged in here? ‘Cause you ran downstairs, trying to find a condom?”

“I’m sorry, are you really complaining about this now?”

At the feeling of his member twitching underneath you, you sigh. “You’re right. Let’s discuss that later.”

It feels a bit awkward when you stand on your knees, giving him some space and wait until he finishes wrapping the rubber around himself. The silence that hangs between you is almost deafening that by the time he’s done and you fall back to his lap, sitting on his thighs, it feels like you have to start over again.

You diffidently smile. “Hey.”

Haechan is equally as embarrassed, mirroring your gesture. “Hi.”

“I guess we’re gonna have sex.”

“Guess so.”

Another few seconds pass by where you can only meet each other’s eyes, feeling your heartbeat racing louder and louder. It feels like you’re about to burst, honestly, but fortunately for you, Haechan leans in, his fingers tentatively caressing your cheek. “Can I kiss you?” He questions.

You melt under his gaze, his gentle touch, his honey-like voice. “Yes, please.”

Your lips start the connection and the rest of your body follows, fitting every curve of his perfectly like you were made for him. The way Haechan sighs against your mouth sends sparks of electricity all the way down to your toes and you don’t waste any more time. With his mouth latching on your breast, tongue flicking against your nipple, you lower yourself on him.

Haechan’s hold your waist tighter, eyebrows adjoined in the middle at the sensation, his moans muffled. He presses his spine back against the couch, admiring the sight of his member disappearing inch by inch into you. His eyes begin to droop when he’s completely sheathed inside, his bruised lips parted. He cups your cheek, kissing you softly on the corner of your mouth, making you shiver at the sudden tenderness. “I guess we are having sex,” he murmurs with a bashful smile.

You can’t help but laugh a little. “I guess so.” 

It starts slow, with you placing both hands on his chest and him swallowing his breath at the sight of you moving up and down his length. You hiss slightly at the friction, adjusting to his size. 

“Does it hurt?” He asks, tucking a few loose strands behind your ear. 

“A little.” You reassure him with a grin. “Relax, you’re not gonna break me.”

You expect him to send back a snarky remark but what he does is press his forehead against yours. “You’re so warm,” he whispers, tasting the skin that connects your shoulder to your neck. Something about his words, his sensual kiss and his tender touch makes you squeeze your walls around him and he clutches harder around you. He glides his hands lower to your hips, silently urging you to pick up the pace and you follow.

Breathing heavily, Haechan has his thumb grazing your lower lip. “You have such a pretty mouth,” he professes as if he was in a trance.

You seductively bite his thumb, still working your hips. “You’re saying that ‘cause I just sucked your dick.”

“Yes, that too, but really.” It’s as if he’s staring at a work of art, eyes twinkling with admiration. Sometimes, when you’re hitting the right spot and quiver around him, a small moan escapes his lips and you feel him twitching inside you. “It’s—ah—It probably doesn’t sound sincere when I’m saying this now, but I’ve always thought you had a pretty mouth. And lips. I’ve thought about your lips a lot.”

“Yeah?” You mouth against the sensitive skin below his ear, sinking harder on his length. “What else do you like about me?”

“Y-your voice—” You can actually feel him shivering. “You have such a—fuck—I just—I really love your moans.” 

You’re not sure whether he’s saying that because he’s so distracted with the way you’re breathing in his ear or he genuinely loves it. Either way, it’s a pleasure to know how much you’re affecting him with your actions. With a chuckle, you say, “You’re rambling, baby.”

“And your hair,” he adds, probably losing every bit of his self-control by this point. “I love your hair. Looks so soft.” Haechan cards his fingers through your strands. “Feels so soft.”

You hum in response, hoping that your flushed face doesn’t look as apparent as you think. “Anything else?”

“Your—” He shudders when you paint a mark under his collarbone. “Your ass.”

You stop, pulling away to give him a look and he whines at the loss. “My ass?”

“What—” The tips of his ears are turning red, steam practically coming out of them. “Why are you staring at me like that—you have a great ass!”

Teasing him is such a joy to you. “Then, let’s do it this way.” You part away from him, landing back on the carpeted floor so you can turn around, giving him the chance to ogle at your behind, before you ease yourself down onto his lap once more. 

“Fuck—” Haechan’s hisses, his hands going down to your hips again. The new position doesn’t allow you to meet his eyes but with the way he’s whimpering behind you, fingers trailing over the curve of your ass, the sensation increases.

“You okay back there?” You taunt smugly, chuckling a bit because Haechan sounds like he’s losing it. His nails are sinking into your skin and you just know that’s gonna leave a nasty bruise tomorrow. “You seem like you’re enjoying this way too—“ You’re interrupted by your own moans when he suddenly has one hand massaging your breast and another one sliding down your stomach to find your clit. “W-wait, Haechannie—”

“You’re such a tease,” he breathily whispers into your ear, his chest pressing against your spine as he leans forward, pulling you into his embrace. “Isn’t that supposed to be my job?”

His fingers are rubbing you in circles, making your thighs tremble. “You’re right.” You move your hips harder, going out of rhythm with how fast you’re going and Haechan sinks his teeth to your shoulder again.

At the sound of his name departing your lips in the most sinful moan he’s ever heard, Haechan curses. “Shit, you’re not gonna let me enjoy this longer, are you?”

“There’s always a second round, Haechannie.” You smirk, raising your hips all the way up in intention to slam it back down again but Haechan catches you and pushes you forward until you land on the coffee table, stomach pressing flat against the wooden surface. “What—"

“There’s always a second round, right?” His lips are brushing against your ear as he positions himself behind you. “Then I’m going all out.”

When he slams his hips in one swift motion, hard and deep, he knocks all the air out of your lungs. “Wait—” You choke out, can barely keep up with his pace. “Oh God—”

“Now, now,” he coos, his hand finding its way to your throat, fingers pressing against your veins. He raises your face, his chest completing the dip of your spine. “Don’t bring God’s name when I’m fucking you like this, baby.”

You can’t even find the strength to retort, eyes shutting tightly until you see stars behind your eyelids. It almost feels unreal how fast he can go from being awkward and tentative about all of this to raw and wild within a few minutes but Haechan has always been fast adapting to new situations and you have been teasing him way too much. It’s about time that he snaps. 

Haechan moves you down to the floor, forcing you to stand on all fours and you’re so glad you follow his lead. “Spread your knees. Bring your head down,” he instructs and you do as you’re told, extending your arms in front of you. Haechan has his hand on the dip of your shoulder blades, holding you still until you have no choice but to press your cheek against the carpeted floor, ass in the air. “Good girl,” he praises, kneeling behind you and rubbing his tip along your folds. “Ready, baby?”

He doesn’t wait for your answer.

With only a few minutes in, you know you’re getting close, you can feel it. He has switched from giving deep, hard thrusts to quick, shallow ones and it’s driving you insane. “H-Haechannie, I—” you whimper, “I’m close—”

And he knows it too, of course he does. He can tell by the way you’re clenching around him. But instead of going harder and driving you completely over the edge, Haechan suddenly laces his fingers with yours, his lips painting soft kisses from your nape down to your spine, his hips hitting another angle that feels just as amazing even when he slows down the pace. The intimacy surprises you as you don’t expect him to be this tender. Suddenly, it doesn’t feel like you’re doing this out of sheer passion. With his palm covering the back of your hand, fingers slipping between yours, somehow, everything feels more sentimental, stronger, crossing the lines.

With a moan of your name, Haechan flips you to your back, fingers framing your face, lips meeting lips as he thrusts back in, gasping against your mouth. “I want to see your face,” he says when he pulls away, his half-lidded eyes boring into yours, thumb slipping between your lips. “Not sure if I’ve told you this before but…” He snaps his hips, and you tangle your legs around them in response, fingernails digging into his upper arms. “You’re so beautiful.”

The knot in your stomach untangles without warning and your orgasm hits you so hard, you nearly sob at the sensation. With the way you’re quivering and squeezing around him, Haechan follows right after, his face sinking into the crook of your neck, hips stuttering as he rides out his own orgasm.

***

With his jeans back on and his used condom thrown away to the nearest trash bin, Haechan joins you back on the carpeted floor as you still haven’t found the strength to get up and get dressed after that. He shamelessly lays his body down on top of yours, his cheek pressing against the valley of your breasts. “I’m spent,” he mumbles, feeling drowsy.

“Haechannie?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re heavy.”

“I know.” But he doesn’t get up, only moving his head slightly to press a tiny kiss to your bare chest before he lies his head down over your heart again. You give up with a smile, wrapping your arms around him, fingertips stroking his hair. Haechan sighs contentedly under your touch. “Man, that was…”

“That was?”

“Amazing.” He props himself up on his elbows so he can meet your eyes. “You’re amazing.”

Your heart jolts at the sincerity in his words but you cooly smile back. “I know.”

“And I’m amazing too, I’m sure?”

“Meh,” you shrug. “Could be a little better but I’ll let you practice on me for free.”

“Jesus Christ.” He shakes his head, his strands tickling your nose. “I don’t even have the strength to join your banter. You know, I’ve always wondered since you’re pretty much shit at everything, there must be something you’re good at. But I never thought that something would turn out to be sex. I can’t even believe I’m saying this but you’re really, really amazing at it. I feel like I should give you a medal or something.”

“Thanks,” you flatly mutter. “Not sure if you’re praising me, though.”

“Oh, I am praising you, believe me. And you know me, I rarely praise.” 

“Stop it,” you use your robotic voice. “You’re making me feel so special, I’m about to cry.”

Haechan playfully nips at your nose, forcing you to break off your act and laugh directly into his mouth. “Seriously,” he says, breaking off the kiss. “If I were to pay you for sex, I would give you everything I own. Even the clothes I’m wearing. Hell, I’d even sell my grandma but don’t tell her that.”

Your laughter has reduced into small giggles. “That’s comforting.”

“So…” The way Haechan is caressing your hair is so soft, almost like a mother to her sleeping child. “What should we do about this?” When you raise an eyebrow, he tensely adds, “Do you, umm… I mean, do you want to, like—”

“You’re rambling.”

“I know, God, I’m so nervous! I may look like a naughty, sexy bad boy—”

“No one is saying that—“

“But I actually suck at this—as in, I don’t really know how to date a girl.”

“You don’t even know how to talk to a girl, based on the conversations we’ve had,” you comment and you know it’s not helping but it’s worth seeing his adorable pout. “Then don’t date me. If it’s hard for you to date, then let’s just keep being friends—"

“But I want to continue this!” He says it so fast and firmly that you don’t even have time to feel hurt about your offer. 

It’s not like you crave a relationship with him—you haven’t thought about it that far—even just holding him like this is enough for now, so the fact that he’s so excited to have this going makes your heart swells with joy. “Well then, we’ll be friends who have casual sex anytime we want,” you suggest.

He blinks twice, a bit amazed at your offer, but to your surprise, he seems rather… disappointed? “What happens if we start catching feelings?” He quietly asks.

“Then I guess we’ll start dating for real.”

“Then…” He runs a hand through his hair, nervous. “What happens if I already have feelings for you?”

He states it so quietly, it’s a miracle you can even hear him. “Do you want to date me, Haechannie?”

He looks away, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. “Do you want to date me?” He murmurs against your skin, unsure and flustered.

You heave the heaviest sigh you’ve ever done in your life. “You’re unbelievable. I’ll decide for us then. Starting now, we’re dating.”

He lifts his head, and if he were a puppy, he would’ve had his tail wagging behind him, even when his face doesn’t show much. “That easy?”

“That easy. What, you have something to complain about?”

“No.” He grins, pressing a chaste kiss on your lips. “Hey, girlfriend.”

“Ugh, get off me, you’re gross.”

But no matter how hard you push your palm against his face, Haechan only giggles and turns you around so this time, you’re lying on his chest. “So,” he pushes a few strands of your hair behind your ear. “You like me, huh?”

“No, what makes you think that way?”

“Says the girl who just slept with me.”

“I slept with you ‘cause I was just curious about your dick. Jeno said you had a dick that was the size of his thumb.”

“Excuse me?!”

“Didn’t you see his InstaStory last night?” You reach up to gather your phone from the coffee table. “I took a screenshot of it actually. Man, you should’ve seen the comments. They’re hilarious.”

Snatching your phone away, Haechan runs his eyes along the words written on the screen. “That son of a bitch!”

Simpering, you sneak a peek under his boxer. “Well, he’s not wrong.” 

“Oh, it’s on,” he deadpans, throwing your phone away and pushes you back down on the floor. His eyes glinting mischievously. 

“What are you doing?” You’re still half-laughing when he brings your hands over your head, holding your wrists together with one hand as he settles between your thighs, his fingers hovering dangerously close.

“I’m gonna make you take your words back.” He wets his lip, one corner of his mouth turning upward. “Time for the second round, baby.” 

***

[ethereal-engene]

Bringing in the good luck with junhao

pairing: junhao x gn!reader (platonic) 

genre: fluff, non-idol!au, & slice of life // warnings: slight mentions of food & prop weapons (no blood or gore is in this)

summary: how I imagine junhao would be if they were lion dance performers & traditional chinese martial arts! // word count: ~600

note: I grew up watching Chinese lion dances & martial arts performances, and thought it’d be cool to write about it for JunHao! Another self-indulgent fic 😗

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

every event that they performed at was always fun

especially when minghao was the one in the front

minghao would play around with the children

trying his best not to scare them

actually both of them would do that

they know how it can seem scary for them, so they’ll put in their best effort to not seem scary

in terms of how, they do that?

I feel like they’ll pretend to play hide and seek or peek-a-boo with them

hiding behind whatever they can and wait for the children to find them

and whenever the kids feed them money, that’s when they’re the most playful

somewhat terrorizing them by looming over them and chasing them around 😭

they don’t do it a lot because they’re too fearful that it’ll scare the kids

they don’t do it a lot because they’re too fearful that it’ll scare the kids

and of course, whenever they’re doing stunts and actual performances is when they shine the most

because they’re both relatively agile and flexible, it allows them to pull off slightly advanced pieces

their skills are more useful when using lighter weapon props or no weapons at all

minghao to me seems like he’d be good at doing performances with the spear whereas jun is more skilled with using a staff

whenever they’re using weapons in their acts, they’re more focused on not messing up what they practiced and making sure that no one gets hurt

they care about people enjoying what they’re watching & therefore the quality of the performance must be great

while preparing for competitions, they find themselves stressing over it

you drop by to visit them as they practice bringing them food to eat

they look like they haven’t eaten all day…

to which when you find out that you were right

you slightly hit them for not taking care of themselves

and then apologizing to them

along with affirming them that they’ll do great as always

besides how can they do their best when they’re running on no fuel

you decide to watch them as they practice to ensure that they actually go home and rest

even after being friends with them for so long

their dedication to perfecting their craft is so inspiring

to be honest, you didn’t think that they’d end up doing this professionally

they have other side jobs but they love this one the most

on the day of the competition, you arrived them to watch them

come on, you gotta support your besties <3

shouting every time they land perfectly and telling them it’s okay when they don’t

they appreciate you coming to watch them every time

it makes them want to try harder and make you proud

jokes on them, you’ve always been proud of them but they don’t think it’s enough

anyhow, as you predicted, they placed 1st place!

screaming like crazy while running into their sweaty arms

“Y’all might have placed first place here today but y’all will always be number one in my heart for the best performers”

You continue with “Yah, now let’s go! My treat for winning today and stop doubting yourselves.” Followed with a small flick to their heads and you running away as they chase you

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

👁👄👁 ahaha I have no idea if this fic will do well but honestly it’s another fic that I wrote b/c I think it’s cute and I’ve gotta rep & show my love for my Chinese roots! 

After watching some clips of Jun and Minghao, they made me feel seen even if it was small things about Chinese culture that they talk about. Making me feel very soft 🥺  anyways... 

I hope you enjoyed reading this and please leave feedback through asks, reblogs with tags, or comments! 

signing off

- ash

[honeytae]

I liked your performance better.

happy wednesday, my loves! ooh do i have some filth for you...just take a peek at the warnings. in my defense, i wrote this based on Soowoozoo!Hoseok because…he really did something to me. i hope you all enjoy and as always, let me know your thots thoughts :)

tags: @ahgasearmyfan, @hoseokayy, @the1921-monsters

genre: smut, fluff

warnings: needy!reader x smug! hoseok, heavy petting and kissing, a slight mention of exhibitionism, fingering, unprotected sex (USE A CONDOM), penetrative sex in a public place, katoptronophilia (getting off on sex in front of a mirror), a brief blowjob, deepthroating & mouthfucking, hoseok is really vocal and might just get you into some trouble…

word count: 2.3k

Jung Hoseok was insane. He had to be.

Between his freshly bleached platinum hair, barely buttoned shirt, and tight shorts revealing built thighs and long legs that seemed to go on for days, by the boys ending ments you were absolutely ready to lose your mind, restless on the sofa he’d left you on to watch the performances off the television in his dressing room. 

Fidgeting on the cushions, you sat up with a start when you heard the crowd of rowdy men approaching the hall, practically flying off the couch and running out into the corridor to briefly greet the group before running into your man’s arms. 

Hoseok’s face lifted in a display of shocked amusement at your sudden launch at him, intercepting your frame with a chuckle as you wrapped your arms around his torso. 

“I-hey! What’s up, angel?” He asked, eyebrows furrowed in slight confusion yet mouth spread in a wide smile at your greeting.

“Just proud of you, Sunshine.” You murmured, your boyfriend’s face softening at your words, squeezing you to him appreciatively.

“Thank you.” He whispered, you humming in response as the other men’s voices faded in the background, seemingly making their way down the hallway to the food awaiting them. 

Staring at each other for a moment, you exhaled as Hoseok’s eyes flitted down to your lips, his own mouth quirking up when yours. Tipping his head to the side, he eagerly pressed his mouth to yours, leaving chaste kisses that faded in length each time. 

Settling your hands on his shoulders, you gripped his biceps for some kind of balance, his mouth always having a dizzying effect on you no matter what the circumstances. 

“You did amazing, Hobi.” You mumbled against him, wanting to drill that very fact into his mind to boost his confidence. As expected, the man blushed with a nervous giggle, making you smile at how easy it was to get him flustered. 

“Yah, stop it.” He smiled, dipping down to press another kiss to your lips and pulling away, humming when you guided him back to you by his cheek. 

“Babe- mm.” 

This time, the kiss was much needier, tongue entering his mouth with a press of the muscle against his bottom lip as he moaned in surprise at the fervor you met him with. 

Turning your bodies so that he could guide you back to his private dressing room, he gripped your hips as he walked forward, you following his lead and blindly going backwards as your lips melded with his over and over again. 

Finally reaching the room, he reached behind you without disconnecting your mouths, shoving the door open and pushing you inside before hastily shutting it behind him, making sure to latch the lock. 

Spreading your arms for him to walk into, you smiled as he followed along, wrapping his arms around your waist as he pressed his chest to yours. 

“Didn’t know exhibitionism was a thing of yours.” He joked, leaning his forehead against your own with a grin as you laughed. 

“Hm. Nobody was around, Sunshine. Not that I could hold myself back any longer, anyway.” You shrugged, the man’s cheeks heating instantly at your words and the tone you spoke them with. 

“Is that right?” He asked, squeezing your love handles with his palms before letting his hands trail down to cup your ass. 

His touch practically had you purring in delight, fingers sinking into your plush flesh with an appreciative hum that automatically had your heart pumping harder in your chest.

“Mhm. You try sitting back here and watching your sexy self perform. I mean, fuck, Hobi. I think you’re just out to get me.” You sighed, tipping your head to the side as Hoseok began trailing kisses down from your jaw to your neck, peppering his lips against the skin with a smile you could feel, but not see. 

“I’m glad I have that effect on you, love.” He replied coolly, making you scoff under your breath as he tucked his finger beneath the neckline of your shirt, puckering his lips against your collarbone. 

“You’re so modest.” You said, gasping when his teeth playfully bit down on your skin as he backed you toward the wrap around sofa in the center of his dressing room, bypassing the racks of clothing lined up for his precious performances. 

“Hm, you have that effect on me. Just happy it’s mutual.” He murmured, wet purses of his lips along the skin of your neck interrupting his words, your fingers digging into his shoulders at both his actions and his words.

“Seokie,” you whined, “please fuck me.”

Eyes nearly popping out of his head at your urgent request, Hoseok did little to conceal the tent in his pants, pulling you flush to him as he raised his eyebrows at you. 

“Here?” He asked, sounding genuinely surprised at how low your standards had become. He was sweaty and disgusting, and his dressing room wasn’t faring much better. It wasn’t exactly the most romantic or even remotely sexy of venues.

“Are you really turning me down right now?” You raised your own brows above your widened eyes, the man flicking his gaze over to the door as he sighed out a breath. 

“Well-”

“Well?” You cut him off at the single word, pouting a bit at the rejection before Hoseok pinched at your bottom lip to stick it back into its original place. He leaned in to kiss you once more, soothingly stroking up and down your bicep as you continued to frown at him.

“Well, it’s not exactly the most romantic of locations-“

“Since when do you care about the amount of romance in a location? Didn’t we just have sex in a food closet last week? Or maybe I’m remembering wrong-”

Cutting you off with a heated kiss, one that stole your breath momentarily as his tongue immediately swept into your mouth in a hot and needy act, he stepped forward to guide your body backwards.

“Fine, I’m not gonna be one to argue this. Take your pants off.” He ordered breathily, an obvious strain in his voice from the torturous build-up between his legs, watching as you did as told with a happy pep in your moves. 

The sight made his heart swell a bit, lifting his own shirt above his head before he reached for the hem of your own, dragging it up over your face to pull you flush to him again, chests touching each other as he leaned in to kiss you. 

While still passionate, this kiss was albeit a bit subdued, more loving than needy and more passionate than the earlier greediness that was present from both sides. His velvety lips, slightly chapped from his day in the sun, worked over yours deliciously, your fingers grasping at his biceps to hold onto anything for the sake of your sanity. 

Humming into his mouth as you felt his hand trail down your torso, you leaned further into him as he caressed your curves, squeezing at the flesh of your ass with one hand and letting his other slip between your thighs. 

“Hoseok,” you gasped as his finger pad made contact with your clit, whine emanating from the back of your throat as he increased the pressure upon the swollen bud.

Swearing into your mouth, he moved his fingers down your slit, prodding two fingers into your entrance, humming at the slick dripping down the length of his fingers.

“Hobi.” You whimpered as he scissored his pointer and middle fingers inside of you, spreading you open with a hum as your fingernails pressed into his arm, crescent shapes embedding in his skin. 

“Please, Hobi.” You begged, rocking your hips to the pace of his thrusts, chasing your orgasm as you desperately palmed over his hard length. 

“Ugh, fuck.”

Yelping as your man suddenly spun you around in his arms, you giggled as he pressed your back to his front and bent you over the makeup counter, giving himself a few preparatory strokes between your legs. 

“I wanted to touch you.” You pouted, Hoseok chuckling a bit before dipping down to press a kiss to the top of your spine.

“Next time, baby.”

Delicate fingers traced over your back as he settled your chest onto the table, sweeping your hair all over to one side as you laid your cheek down, spreading your feet wider apart on the ground in a beckon for Hoseok’s throbbing cock. 

After a few moments of him not making any initiating moves, you looked back with a whine, the man coming down to chuckle in your ear and pucker his lips behind your lobe. Shivering as he took it between his teeth, your legs gave out when he unexpectedly began swiping the bulbous head of his cock through your folds, humming when it made circles around your clit. 

“Fu-uck.” Hoseok breathed out as he plunged bare into your entrance, his voice catching in his throat as he felt your warm walls finally wrap around him, the feeling everything and more than what he was envisioning throughout the show. 

You weren’t doing much better at keeping your composure for the sake of your surroundings, fingers grasping the table for stability as your boyfriend began rocking his hips into yours. 

Glass bottles of makeup clashed against each other with each and every movement, Hoseok’s thrusts growing harsher as he tipped his head back with a groan. 

“Babe, open your eyes.” He exhaled, pressing a kiss to the back of your neck before moaning against it as your walls clamped around his twitching cock. 

Following instruction, you peeled your glazed over eyes open to meet his own dark pair in the mirror’s reflection, the sight nearly causing your eyes to roll back into your head. 

His skin was glistening with sweat again just how it’d been while he was performing, but now he had a completely different look on his face. His eyes hooded, narrowed and completely taken over by lust, mouth parted to let moans freely spill out, pure ecstasy written into every feature. 

“Fuck, baby. You see that? See how beautiful you are? How sexy?” He grunted, each question starting and ending with a rough thrust that had the mirror on the vanity banging into the wall behind it. 

“H-hobi,” you moaned as you watched your wrecked selves in the mirror, closing your eyes when his thrusts picked up depth.

He slid in and out of your pussy with embarrassing ease, wet noises resulting from his thrusts making both of you groan collectively.

Soon the only sound in the room, and the near vicinity of the concert hall, was your moans and the slapping of skin against skin, your ass beginning to sting with the repetitive impact from Hoseok’s pelvis. 

Your core was beginning to get that familiar fizzling feeling as the head of his cock bumped your cervix, whimpers increasing as your boyfriend leaned down to press kisses onto your neck. 

“Sh-shit, I love you.” He breathed as your walls twitched around his length, oxygen stuttering in his throat at the feeling. 

“Hoseok.” You whined, jaw dropping as his finger made connection with your neglected clit, rubbing it in concentrated circles to ensure your release.

Slamming your hand down on the table to grip onto the edge, you let many inaudible words slip out of your mouth as you suddenly released on Hoseok’s cock. 

The man groaned at the feeling, slowing his pumps in an attempt at being careful to exclude any overstimulation. 

The action only made you whine as you pushed your hips back on him, wanting to feel him lose everything as you just had even in your foggy state of mind. 

When all you got was a “you okay?,” you just rolled your eyes, pulling away from the man to let his dick drop from your entrance and face him, immediately dropping to your knees before he could utter a word. 

“Wh-what are you, oh fuck.” He moaned as you quickly took his throbbing cock into your mouth, watching you as you sunk down his throbbing length until he tapped at the back of your throat, initiating a small cough before you adjusted to the feeling. 

He was definitely a tight fit in your mouth, as Hoseok was most likely about to blow his load with the size of him right now, but he fit snug in the back of your throat, sucking a hiss through his teeth as you swallowed around his cockhead. 

“Baby, can I?” He asked, looking down at you with scrunched eyebrows and a curled lip, chest heaving as you swallowed around him again. 

You nearly chuckled at the question, always asked out of consideration despite you both knowing it would always be an affirmative answer from you.

“Mhmm,” You hummed for his benefit, and the fact that your entire mouth was already occupied, the vibration making Hoseok let out another loud moan before slapping a hand over his mouth. 

“You’re gonna get me in so much trouble.” He chuckled after a moment of silence outside the door, you humming again with a smirk as he repeated the loud sound you’d heard previously. 

“Mm, shit.” He swore, letting his hands travel down to land on the back of your head, both supporting and controlling you as he began pumping his hips into your hot mouth, face scrunched in ecstasy.

You mostly let him do as he pleased, only making a move to lick at his slit when his mushroom head slipped from your tongue. 

“Oh god.” He rolled his head back to look at the ceiling, sweaty neck fully visible as he put his last few strokes into your hollowed cheeks, increasingly weak before his cum painted your tongue, long, tangy ropes making it down your throat as well. 

Popping off of his softening length in pride, you rose to a stand in front of the heavily breathing man, brushing his wet hair back from his forehead with a hand before reaching out for you with an exasperated laugh. 

“I liked your performance better. You’re fucking unreal.” 

Quirking a smile at his breathy words, you leaned forward to press a rather gentle kiss to his lips, resting your hand on his chest with a grin as he cemented you close to him with a hand on your spine. 

“So are you. I’m so proud.” You said genuinely, tone softer than when you’d told him earlier, now without the fiending need to jump his bones. 

The look in Hoseok’s eyes told you that was everything and more that he needed to hear, smiling wide before kissing your lips once again. 

“Thank you, angel.” 

A few peaceful moments passed before you suddenly pulled back from your man, widened eyes catching his attention as he rubbed his fingers over your forearm. 

“What is it?” He asked, following your gaze as you looked over at the door of his dressing room. 

“Do you think they heard us?” You asked fearfully, only remembering now that the backstage space wasn’t huge at this venue, and the other six guys along with all the staff were bound to have heard the noises resulting from your activities. 

Hoseok was quiet for a moment, seemingly debating how to handle the situation before he turned to you with a sigh. 

“I think we should sneak out the back door.”

[bsdthings]

May I please request head canons of chuuya with a younger brother reader? Just what they’d do together on days off, how they bond, and general sibling things. Thank you, good luck with your blog!

Thank you for the request and the kind words! :3 I hope you will like what I wrote

Chuuya Nakahara

Genres: ✨fluff✨

Chuuya x Reader! Younger brother

Warnings: some curse words there and there; smoking, drinking and skipping mentioned.

Chuuya probably met you during one of his missions and couldn't help but basically adopt you. The age difference wasn't that big, around 5 years, but Chuuya knew too well what means to be alone so he couldn't help himself.

He's an executive and he quite has nothing to come home to until you came in his life.

On most days, he is terribly busy as a Port Mafia executive, which leads to him being quite tired, but every time he comes home to you, a soft smile pulls at his lips.

He spends his free days with you inevitably.

Babying is also quite inevitable, especially if you're not an ability user. He just feels the need to protect you from the blood and violence he grew up with.

I feel like Chuuya would do anything for you.

So, during his free days, you really do anything you both feel like doing.

He's not a matinal person. Not by any meaning, even though he got used to be by need. When his free days came, though, he woke up early, telling himself he doesn't want to waste any precious time with his younger brother.

He cooked you your favorite meal and came to your room, knocking softly, then gently opening the door, eyes fond when he sees you sleeping, eyes puffy and breath even. He woke you up with careful shakes of your shoulder.

"Chuuya-nii?" you whispered, and he hummed as a sign he's listening to you, letting you wake up bit by bit.

"I'm right here. Breakfast's ready. Let's go eat it together"

He's a bit awkward sometimes as he doesn't tell you much about the PM, as a form of protecting you—meals usually end silent or him asking about your day and passions and what you'd like to do.

Going out

He doesn't hesitate to move around Yokohama with your hands around his waist on his bike.

You have a PlayStation at home for sure, but he also knows arcades are much more enjoyable when going out.

He does cheat when it comes to you wanting him to pick up a toy from the machine by using his ability.

There's a lot of screaming out of joy and he bickers with you.

"You cheated!"

"You want the toy or not?" he'd huff.

But when you inevitably beat him at Mortal Kombat…

"Yah, how can you be better at this than me?!"

"Tough luck, nii-san!" you'd grin.

He huffs, but there's no bite. "Let's play again, get it on!"

You win again. And again. And again.

"Look, like this, Chuuya-nii. You move the console and when you're close you hit the X and—"

He listens with intent and lets you move his hands, eyes focused on the screen, grinning if he ends up winning.

"Aren't you hungry, kiddo?"

He always checks on you.

"Just a bit"

"That won't do. Let's go eat" he would wrap his arm around your shoulders and that's how you go to eat in the city.

"Aish, aish, it's hot!"

He'd laugh at your reaction, shaking his head.

"Be careful. There, there" he'd blow the food for you.

"I'm not a baby" you'd probably pout.

"Tough luck, you totally are. You're my younger brother, after all" he'd basically feed you, just to make sure you eat.

He feels a lot happier with you in his life.

"Chuuya-nii! Don't—it's embarrassing!"

You're a teen, after all, aren't you?

But he grins anyways, ruffling your hair.

"I'm older than you" he'd use this to his advantage.

"Just by a few years!"

But his lips will tighten a bit at that. He's been your age, after all. Sometimes, thoughts keep on swirling in his mind.

"Don't hurry to grow up, yeah? It's not fun"

You'll always be his younger brother, no matter your age, but he wants to keep you young and not broken by the world a bit more.

He inevitably carries you home on his back when you're too tired. Would complain, but the moment you try to walk he'll keep you close tighter.

Bonding at home

He teaches you how to cook. He's actually really patient, explains to you how to make the meal and the quantities and everything there is to explain on the softest voice.

He encourages you a lot. Feels like you need it. Reassures you that no matter how the food ends, he's proud of you and you tried and that's the most important part.

If there's flour or whipped cream and you dirty him with it out of fun��well, let the war begin.

You're both a mess by the end of it and he can barely stand on his feet from how hard he's laughing, genuine and with his eyes sparkling.

If the food ends up bad, he sighs softly but reassures you anyways. "Cooking isn't everyone's point. It's okay. It might also come out better the next tries" and you order take out together.

If the food ends up actually good, he praises you. "You might end up better than me at this"

Ability user or not, he does teach you how to fight. He doesn't want you to be unable to protect yourself.

"When you make a fist, your thumb stays like this—" he carefully adjusts your hand. "In order to not hurt yourself or break your bones"

He playfully wrestles you, but he's slow and careful. Doesn't want to hurt you. If you end up losing balance, he uses his ability and doesn't let you make contact with the floor.

"You're doing really good! C'mon, attack me"

He teaches you a lot of things and talks to you lots.

"School is important, kiddo. It gives you the opportunity of a simpler life"

He doesn't want you to end up like him. Sure, he makes a lot of money, but he wants a simpler, less dangerous life for you. A better life.

He scolds you if you skip classes, but doesn't exaggerate. It's not the end of the world if you skip sometimes. But he doesn't let it become a habit.

"Do you need help with your homework?"

He is smart. He can help you most of the time. And if he can't, he makes sure there's someone who can.

If someone bothers you, though, he gives them hell.

He tries not to curse too much around you. His tries are thrown out the window anyways. You're a teen, not a baby.

"Wanna learn the guitar?"

He's a cool older brother. Teases you anyways.

"I bet your classmates have a crush on you" he'd nudge at you.

He's not the pressuring type. As much as you're happy and doing good, he doesn't mind.

"Boys, girls, in betweens. Just be careful"

He's realistic. Tries to be as present in your life as possible and to be someone you can talk to.

But he's also quite overprotective over you.

"If someone breaks your heart, I will beat the shi—"

Shopping

Be it for food or clothes, he can't deny you many things.

His heart just doesn't let him.

Now, he totally encourages you to try out different syles and see what fits you the best and makes you feel like yourself.

"Confidence it's the key with people, kid"

You could be 50 and he'll still call you "kid"

Teen things

He does end up scolding you if you pick up his habit of drinking and smoking

"But you do that too!"

"When did I say I was a good example?!"

His temper does spike everytime you act like a brat.

"Could you listen to me one fucking time, brat—"

He does end up saying sorry. Really, he's just worried.

Raising a human being is harder than he thought.

"What do I say every goddamn time you leave the house?"

"To call you if I need help, no matter the context…"

"And what did you do?"

"…not call you at all and left the city"

He always finds you. And I mean always.

"You could've just asked me, y'know?"

"But you wouldn't have let me"

"I wouldn't have liked it, but I do prefer you in a safe environment at least"

He truly misses the times when you were a child clinging to him. You grow up too fast. You might not be biological siblings, but he truly sees you at his younger brother.

~The end~

I truly hope you liked it and it fit what you wanted 😅 I got a bit carried away, I admit 😅

[iwaisuke]

confessions; but not remembering it

ft. kita shinsuke, sakusa kiyoomi x sick fem!reader

genre: fluff

masterlist

a/n: this has been sitting in my drafts for a while and then i rushed bc i was getting tired 🙃 also. sakusa's is a little ooc. sorry ab that

-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

» the clean yet musty smell of rain filled the gym as the boys practiced. it was a surprisingly humid and rainy spring day today here in the country side of hyogo

» "achoo" you had been sneezing and coughing all day. you also had a terrible headache but took some medicine to see if it would help. the spring allergies really getting to you

» you didnt reay have the time to be worrying about yourself. As a 2nd year manager of the inarizaki team, (recommend by suna) and the boys working so hard practicing for nationals there was no way you'd let this little cold get in the way. you had to work just as hard as everyone else!

» "hold on, im about to hang up your jerseys to dry"

» "i got you guys some fresh towels!"

» "i can run and grab that coach. im headed that way anyways"

» the coach called for a short break to rest up for a bit. everyone was sore and exhausted from practicing every day. "here. i filled your water bottles up!" handing them to all the boys. "y/n you're all wet" akagi sounded concerned.

» "hm? oh its alright. I'll dry off in a minute. i took the shortcut to the drinking fountain to refill your waterbottles instead of taking the long way" you nonchalantly said. "so you ran through the rain like an idiot?" suna threw a clean towel over your damp hair and ruffled it. "suna!! stop!! you're gonna ruin my hair"

» "like i said. its alright" you reassured the boys.

» kita, on the other hand had noticed your fatigue. although he wasnt as perceptive on peoples feeling and thoughts as well as others, he could easily pick up signs like yours. he admired you dearly for how hard you always work for the team. how you willingly did anything to make them smile. how you always put others first before yours. needless to say, he had a bit of a crush on you.

» "l/n san. i think you should take a break too. there's no need for you to be running around for us while we're resting" kita assured you. "i still have a few things left on my list to do.. but afterwards I'll take a break!" kita let out a sigh. you were stubborn sometimes and kita knew you were the kind of person to not stop until you're finished.

» "I'll be right back. i gotta grab the laundry"

» making an excuse to leave, your heart was beating fast. you knew kita's words were the kind he'd say to anyone, but it made your heart feel fuzzy when he'd look out for you.

» the stone cold captain who you thought he was, actually was so kind. he was just a little awkward like you, and a little blunt with what he said sometimes. but you learned the great qualities he carries and how much he actually cares about others well being. he was a hard worker and you couldnt help but absentmindedly fall for the captain.

» running up the stairs to the second floor of the gym, you felt a shift in your step. head becoming dizzier than it was just 5 minutes ago. legs trembling, you started falling before feeling a presence behind.

» kita's arm wrapped around your waist, supporting you in efforts to not letting you fall over. "i told you to rest l/n san" kita said sternly. "you wont benefit anyone if you keep overworking like this."

» you knew kita was right, but you really didnt want to rest knowing you'll be letting the team down by not working hard.

» "i promise I'll rest as soon as im done with this one thing" pleading with kita. he let out a sigh, knowing you really wouldnt until you did finish so he allowed you to do so.

» finishing grabbing all of the dry jerseys and bringing them downstairs to pass out to everyone, you didnt really notice atsumu and osamu spiking volleyballs at each other until aran yelled

» "y/n! watch out!" honestly, you were too tired to move out of the way so you figured, it do be like that sometimes, and allowed the ball to hit you.

» or... so you had planned the ball to hit you.

» kita stood in front, blocking the impact of the spike that you had prepared yourself for. there was agitation in kita's eyes. more than you usually noticed when then twins were miss behaving. concern washing over, he looked you straight in the eyes

» "... is there something wrong kita san?" lifting up his hand to your forehead, he let out a sigh. "why didnt you tell me earlier you had a fever", then walking over to the coach meanwhile atsumu and osamu come over to apologise for being reckless.

» "get your stuff. we're going home" kita said bluntly.

» "huh? but practice is-"

» "please l/n san. for me"

» kita would only take yes for an answer this time. no if's ands or buts. so here you were, walking home with kita. only the sound of raindrops hitting your shared umbrella being heard.

» muscles starting to ache a little more and your legs becoming more tired than they were when you left the gym, you began to walk a little slower every step

» "get on my back l/n" "its ok kita san, i can walk. its already enough that you're walking me home" "i didnt ask if you wanted to. im telling you to"

» you couldnt tell if it was the fever that made your face warmer or if it was kita's words. nonetheless, you got on kita's back. he was a lot stronger than he looked and you couldnt help but stifen at being so close to your own crush like this.

» "relax. I'll make sure you get home." he reassured. you leaned into his back, warmth seeping in, your eyes began to feel heavy.

» "kita san" "yes?" "thank you for always watching out for me"

» a comfortable silence was met as the sound of rain filled your ears.

» "kita san" "hm?" "did you know..." your voice softened "i like you a lot kita san"

» did he hear you correctly? if he wasnt paying attention he wouldve missed what you had said, being drowed out through the pitter patter of water. now his heart thumping louder than ever before.

» "l/n san-" he was about to go on but was met with the gentle rise and fall of your chest and the soft snores of you on his back, knocked out from exertion. kita let out a light chuckle, finally relieved you were resting.

» you had missed the next day of school, but when you came back the whole volleyball team bombarded you with love.

» "WE'RE A FAILURE TO NOT NOTICE YOU FEELING SICK" atsumu cried. "how could we let our one and only precious manager get ill for taking care of us" akagi, clearly dissapointed in himself. "please let us know when we can take care of you too y/n" aran said.

» "its no big deal. really!" waving your hands in defense. "it was just a small cold. but i do have a question though"

» all the boys gathered around to hear what you had to say

» "how did i get home?? i really dont remember what happened after i almost got hit by atsumu"

» it shocked the guys honestly. you genuinely didnt remember a single thing due to your fever. "wait? you don't remember kita taking you home?" suna replied, your face becoming red. "k-kita san took me home-?" "yah. he left in the middle of practice to do so" osamu added.

» immediately, you got up to find the captain that apparently took you home the other day. he was in the storage closet cleaning and grabbing the equipment for todays practice.

» "kita san" "oh. l/n. glad you're feeling better" his smile brightened the musty closet. "about that, im sorry for troubling you and having you take me home the other day. i honestly dont remember what happened after i almost got hit by atsumu. my mind was really fuzzy that day, but im truly thankful for you going out of your way for me. it really means a lot"

» kita was dumbfounded. you really dont remember? "no need to apologize l/n. it was my responsibility as a captain. and afterall, what good would i be if i couldnt even take care of the person who means the most to me"

» your heart raced. 'person who means the most to me' ? cheeks blushing a rosy pink, you were internally thanking the musty store room from being dim.

» with arms full of equipment, kita walked by you and stopped.

» "by the way l/n san. did you know?"

» ears perking up at the vague yet familiar line

» "i like you a lot too l/n san"

» now we all know sakusa HATES germs and for the past week and a half, he's been telling you to keep up with washing your hands, wearing a mask at all times even when you eat omi it doesnt work like that. pls especially since you are prone to getting sick easily no matter how hygenic you are. your immune system just hated you. PERIODT

» you remembered sakusa scolding you for running out of hand sanitizer and then the next day you were out of commission. bed ridden with laryngitis, cough, slight fever, the whole works. it was like your body was making fun of you or something

» you texted komori, asking him to take notes in class for you and relay homework information while you were at home resting up. but there was one request you had and made komori PROMISE.

» DO NOT TELL SAKUSA YOU GOT SICK

» "he's probably gonna notice your absence y/n. he'll find out about it either way"

» "well if you dont tell him then he wont know. its not like he even cares about where i am like that"

» "thats what you might think. but i know he's gonna say something i can garuntee it"

» the next day at school, sakusa did notice your presence missing. it was quieter not having a 3rd person in the group of friends. not having you around to talk to him when komori was gone.

» pulling out his phone to text you, he asked where you were that day.

» "on a family trip :D !!! forgot to tell you, but I'll tell you all about it when i come back!" you wrote, attaching an old selfie of a different trip you went on to make it more believable.

» you had hoped this silly cold would get better in a day, but soon that day turned into 2 and then 3 and then 4... you pretty much missed the whole week of school at that point

» Friday rolled around and komori was on his phone all day. sakusa noticed his cousin fidget in his chair more than usual and it irked him to see him like that

» "what's with you today?" one eye raised, sakusa finally asked. "uhhh nothing really" komori wasnt very good at keeping secrets lets just start off with that, but he was trying his best.

» "well clearly somethings wrong. you're fidgeting." "well haven't you noticed somethings been different all week?" komori hinted

» sakusa sat there in thought. nothing's been different? he ate the same breakfast he usually does every morning. all his studies have been well. there were no tests this week so there was no reason to be anxious like komori was and even if there was, he would've done well anyways.

» "just tell me what it is." sakusa was starting to get annoyed. "y/n..." komori started. "y/n?" "do you know where she's been this week?"

» did you not tell komori about your family trip? you usually told komori everything, but then again you didn't tell him either until he asked you about it.

» "she said shes on a trip?" he nonchalantly said. komori's eyes started watering. "A TRIP TO THE HOSPITAL THATS WHAT IT IS" he blurted out. komori didnt mean to let it slip , he was just so worried about your well being.

» "hospital?? what are you talking about. did she get injured on her trip?" "no omi. shes been sick all week and her mom just texted me saying she went to the hospital today because shes had a fever for 3 days straight. there is no family trip"

» sakusa's heart shattered. you were sick and didnt even tell him?

» before both he and komori knew it, his legs were running faster to get to the hospital than he had ever imagined he could ever run.

» and there you were. fast asleep in a bed with an IV drip. your face flushed, forehead sweaty and shallow breaths escaping your chapped lips. you were a hot mess but sakusa didnt care. stepping to your bedside to greet your mother she explained to him that she had to go to work and asked if he could watch over you until she gets back.

» sakusa said yes without even hearing the whole thing. his heart and mind saying yes to whatever it took to get you to feel better.

» gosh how he hated hospitals, but what he hated even more was the fact that you were in the hospital and he didnt even know.

» the doctor came in for their evening round and ensured sakusa that you were indeed getting better! your fever had broken not too long ago and your body was working extra hard to heal itself up!

» "is there anything i can do to help?" sakusa asked. he felt helpless in this situation just watching your face distort in uncomfort every now and then, and coughing your lungs out.

» patting sakusa's shoulder, the doctor told him that just being here for you is enough. "you gotta be a strong boyfriend for her alright son? she'll be able to go home tomorrow first thing in the morning if her fever doesnt come back"

» sakusa slumped in his chair at your bedside, the doctors words ringing through his head. 'boyfriend huh?' he thought to himself. "if i was her boyfriend..." he whispered to himself, "i would be a failure for not even knowing my girl was sick..."

» to kiyoomi, you were beautiful. even now in this sad state you were in. deep down he locked these growing feelings he had for you inside of him because he always felt like you were a better match with someone else and after this stunt you pulled of lying to him about going on a family trip, it only made him feel worse.

» it was now night time and you finally began to stir in your sleep, the fever finally gone. sakusa reached out to move some hair that was stuck to your face, fingers tracing the outline of your jaw. your eyes slowly opened and met with his dark orbs.

» "y/n?" "saku- wait this is just a dream. omi wouldn't be here. he hates hospitals" you let out a forced laugh and then a sigh through your sore throat.

» you reached out to sakusa's hands that were resting on the side of your bed. "omi would never let me hold his hand because he'd say im passing germs to him so hopefully dream omi wont be the same" you were aimlessly talking to yourself, not even realizing that this really wasnt a dream.

» he squeezed your hand in return. hoping that you wouldnt let go any time soon. a funny smile appeared on your face just at the thought of him. "even if you're stupid for not realizing how much i like you... i cant wait to see you again omi" you whispered before falling asleep again.

» sakusa didnt know what to do. he sat there frozen in his chair. it was his first time hearing you call him omi. heck. you literally just confessed to the boy. his brain was running wild. groaning in distress he let go of your hand to step out for a breath of fresh air now that you were back asleep.

» it was 5am and your mother came back to the hospital and thanked sakusa for staying by your side. He left in a hurry to make sure you didnt see him there.

» Monday rolled around and sakusa was waiting outside of the school gates for you. he had planned on asking you about your "trip"

» "good morning sakusa!!" your bright and cheery voice rang through his ears. honestly he was trembling inside. the memory of you confessing to him still fresh in his mind.

» "how was your trip?" you stopped dead in your tracks. "haha... it was good !! sorry i forgot to get you a souvenir" you were trying to play it cool but sakusa could tell you were forcing yourself. "i wouldnt want a souvenir from where you came from so its fine" sakusa's words threw you off. "i - im not sure im understanding what you're saying sakusa?"

» you felt a tug on your hand. "dont you mean omi?" his voice husky as he whispered into your ear. cheeks flushed, your brain felt like it short circuted. you've always tried your hardest to not let it slip that you want to call him omi since he hated when people called him that.

» sakusa smirked at your cute reaction he got out of you. letting go of your hand he began to walk into the school leaving you at the gate dumbfounded. "and by the way. you're just as stupid for not realizing how long ive liked you too"

-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

thank you for your order! enjoy~!

[deadpcnned]

let’s talk about... sex? you&me? (s.b. x reader)

pairing: sirius black x reader 

summary: sirius and y/n struggle with the two things that make a relationship. sex and communication. 

warning(s): mentions of sex, uh i guess “steamy” scenes but no smut, sirius is written possibly ooc, also kinda angst ? 

word count:  6.7k 

a/n: this is sort of a mess but i enjoyed it anyway so oh well :p ALSO if you think anything i wrote in this is unconsensual in anyway pls lmk i do not support that AT ALL. anywayy here’s my first fic on this account hehe

A giggle left Y/N’s swelling lips as Sirius lowered her onto his bed. It had been luck that none of his dorm mates were there, but he was pretty sure he wouldn’t have cared if they had been. Not when the girl in front of him was letting out such beautiful labored breaths, a sound that only he got to hear. 

Y/N reconnected her lips to his, bringing her hand to cup the back of his neck. Sirius’ lips left hers again, but she didn’t have to let out the whine that was at the back of her throat as he began to nip at the skin of her neck, immediately turning it into a strangled moan. Tilting her head she allowed him to pepper straggled kisses down her neck to the exposed skin of her shoulder that peeked out from her jumper. Or rather his jumper. One of his hands gave him support as he hovered over her, while the other was pressed firmly to her side. He let the pad of his thumb rub circles into more exposed skin and Y/N felt the knot in her stomach grow. It was as though she couldn’t get enough of him. Her hands moved down from behind his neck to start unbuttoning his dress shirt. Sirius began to pull away from her neck but she quickly caught his lips in hers, causing him to smile against her. Her desperate kisses let him know just how badly she needed him. But as he pulled back again, he shifted his body so that he was now laying beside her, his arms sprayed out above him. 

Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed at the sudden lack of touch and she turned to Sirius with questioning eyes, “Are you okay?” 

“Hmm,” Sirius looked at her with his eyebrows shot up, as if the sudden shift of energy was completely normal. “Oh yah, of course, love. ‘M just tired. Wanna cuddle?” 

No. Y/N didn’t want to cuddle. Not when she could still feel his hands on every part of her he had touched and the effects of those touches on the parts he was yet to. But if Sirius was tired, then that was fine. It was actually only right. So she quietly rested her head on his shoulder (not missing the way he stiffened for a second), finding a different kind of pleasure in the way his fingers eventually began to run through her hair. 

It had been a few days since the awkward occurrence and Sirius seemed to be making it a point to do virtually everything in public. Every second that he had to spend with Y/N alone, he always seemed to be suggesting they spend it in some public area. Studying? The library. A walk? Near the quidditch field, where his mates seemed to interrupt every few minutes. But now they were running back hand in hand straight into the common room, trying to make sure they reached before Filch caught up to them. Their laughs were loud and their breath heavy as they ran through the portrait hole. Sirius collapsed onto the common room couch, not paying much mind to how empty the common room was. 

“I’ve got to hand it to you, Y/N/N,” Sirius spoke, still attempting to catch his breath. “Ditching potions to try to sneak into the kitchens was bloody worth it. Even if Filch might still be on our arse.”

Y/N chuckled as she stood across from the dark haired boy, taking in the site of him. He had shut his eyes and was clutching his stomach with one of his arms while the other was extended across the right side of the sofa. He was smiling, though, indicating that he truly did enjoy their endeavour. Merlin, he was beautiful. 

“If it was such a good idea,” drawled Y/N, her legs slowly carrying her closer to the Gryffindor boy. “Why don’t you give me a treat?” Sirius’ eyes snapped open as he felt her fall into his lap and her hands cup his shoulders. 

“After all, I didn’t really get that dessert…” she spoke, looking at him through her lashes. Sirius gulped, as he hesitantly wrapped one hand around her waist. Before Sirius could convince himself otherwise, he was responding to her. 

“You’re right,” He rasped. “Bloody Filch. How am I gonna treat my girl?” At this point their noses were brushing against each other, lips mere inches apart. 

“Mm, I have a few ideas,” Without another word, Y/N connected their lips. Her right hand weaved itself through his black hair and he let out a groan as she tugged on it. His hand had snuck under her robe, traveling up to her bare thigh as it reached the edge of her skirt. As Y/N realized Sirius made no plan to go further, she decided to take initiative. Pulling her lips away, she inched closer once again, lightly biting his bottom lip. Sirius gasped and she stuck her tongue into his mouth. Sirius didn’t even try to fight for any form of dominance as her tongue explored his mouth. All he could focus on was the way her hand was clutching his shoulder so tightly and the noises she was letting out against him. She moved her hand from his neck down his chest, and slowly (so slowly that Sirius wondered if he might’ve imagined it) she let her fingers barely brush past his crotch. But Sirius was sure he wasn’t imagining the way he was hardening underneath her. He quickly brought his hand to her neck, pulling her back and effectively disconnecting their lips. 

“Wha-” Y/N yelped, as Sirius set her beside him and jumped up from the couch. 

“Y/N! I completely forgot, James and I thought of this wicked prank!” Y/N hazily stared at the grinning boy, still trying to pull herself down from the high she had been experiencing. 

“Sirius, why don’t you tell me about it with James… you know, later.” She had a pout on her face, but Sirius laughed ignoring it. 

“Yes, let’s go right now. I’m pretty sure him and Peter are headed to the library after class.” He grabbed her hand but she halted his movements, causing him to look back at her with a confused expression. 

“There’s still an hour before classes end. We can’t go back right now.”

“Oh it’ll be fine, we can just go to the last of our classes,” Sirius began to walk, but was stopped once again by a quiet voice. 

“That’s alright. You should, um, go back to class. I think I’m going to head up to my dorm.” Sirius cringed at the way Y/N’s voice cracked at the end of her sentence, but he made no effort to show her he noticed. He nodded, his shit-eating grin unwavering. As she quietly went up the stairs Sirius sat back down on the couch, dropping his head into his hands. 

Upstairs, Y/N wiped her unwanted tears as she sat down on her bed. Sirius and Y/N had been together for nearly a month, which may not have been very long, but they had been pining after each other for a year and for even longer subconsciously. She was more than ready to go farther than just kissing with Sirius, but he seemed to be on a completely different page. Of course, Y/N didn’t mind that the guy she felt so deeply for wasn’t ready to go farther. In fact, she wanted him to feel more than comfortable when they did get there. What bothered her was that it was Sirius that she felt deeply for. Sirius Orion Black, the infamous lady’s man. He had slept with so many girls at Hogwarts that he had lost track (no really, he tried to keep a list when he had first lost his virginity). The same Sirius Black that had told Y/N that it was childish of her to not talk about sex with him because it was “completely natural and something friends talk about” when they were fourteen, was now making no move to do anything of the sorts. How was she not supposed to feel insecure when he had been thinking of James Potter while making out with her? What the fuck. 

Despite her insecurities and, frankly, her sexual frustration, Y/N had put her qualms aside by the next day. If Sirius wasn’t willing to have sex yet, that was completely his decision and she had to respect that. So, she sauntered into one of the classes they shared seating herself down next to him and kissing him on the cheek. She playfully winked at James who was glaring at her (he hadn’t quite forgiven the couple for kicking him out of his spot next to his best mate). 

“Hey,” Sirius said cautiously. “I didn’t see you at breakfast.”

“I overslept,” Y/N responded honestly. “I missed you though.” She grinned cheekily at the boy in front of her as she rested her arms on the table in front of her, resting her head on top. 

Sirius chuckled, scoffing, “Yah? You saw me yesterday.” He carefully watched her to see her reaction to him referencing the previous afternoon. But when her smile remained intact, he felt himself relax. She wasn’t angry. 

“I know. What can I say, you have that effect on me.” Sirius’ smile grew even larger, which Y/N didn’t think was possible but was so glad it was. “We’re still on for tomorrow right?”

“Obviously,” Sirius rolled his eyes, jokingly. “I would never miss a date with my girl.”

“Never? Be careful, Black. That’s a deadly promise.”

As the next day rolled by, Sirius found himself knocking on the young girl’s dorm. The door opened to reveal red hair and a pointed look. Lily stared at the boy in front of her and seemed to be sizing him up. 

“Lily?”

“Yes?”

“Um, is Y/N there?”

The red-head narrowed her eyes and carefully said, “she’s just finishing up in the bathroom… So where are you taking my friend, Black?” 

“Oh, c’mon, Lily. Don’t act like a stranger,” Sirius scoffed, obviously referring to the pair's very close friendship. Lily, who — though she’d never admit it— knew she was being a tad bit dramatic, kept her face stoic as she replied. 

“Well, when you date my best friend, this is the Lily you have to deal with. You chose this, Black.”

“If it means I get to date the girl of my dreams, I’d say it's an easy price to pay,” Sirius cheesily spoke, but the look on his face was genuine enough to elicit a positive reaction from his red headed friend.

“Good answer, Black. You’re welcome to come in,” Lily smiled, rolling her eyes. 

“Why, thank you. That’s very thoughtful of you, Potter.” Howling with laughter, Sirius dodged the pillow Lily harshly chucked at him from her bed (“I will never be a Potter!”). Sirius placed himself on Y/N’s tidied up bed and found himself smiling at her corner. He had been here multiple times before, but something felt so different now. Suddenly the muggle nightlight she kept between the corner of her bed and her night stand made his heart beat faster. And now getting to see the moving pictures of her friends and her lining her walls was a reminder of how lucky he was to be accepted into her life. And the poster of some famous wizard made his stomach turn with jealousy. Every mundane thing about her side of the room, had him spiraling out of control. 

“You didn’t have to meet me here, I could’ve just come to the common room,” Y/N’s voice pulled him out of his head and he shot up taking her in. She had a short white dress adorning her body and a carnation pink cardigan in her hand. Her hair was pulled into a loose ponytail, defining her cheekbones that carried a light blush. She looked gorgeous. She was gorgeous. 

“Thought I’d pick you up from your door like in those muggle movies you like.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not exclusively a muggle thing, but still very thoughtful, nonetheless,” Y/N mused, leaning up to kiss her boyfriend. 

“Yes, please pretend I’m not here.” Laughing, Y/N pulled back from Sirius. Apologizing to Lily, the couple left hand in hand. 

“Alright, babe, what’s the plan for today?” Sirius inquired, his hand quickly wrapping around Y/N’s shoulders pulling her closer. 

“Right, so since we still have class tomorrow, I know we can’t go anywhere, really. But I wanna show you something special. ”

“Ooo, somewhere special you say? Now tell me, where can my precious Y/N be taking me?” 

“You’ll just have to see,” Y/N winked up at the boy. 

Y/N’s destination had been the herbology greenhouse, which had sparked a lot of questions from Sirius. She explained that she had asked a professor to let the two of them spend some time there if they promised not to touch any of the plants. At first, Sirius had begged Y/N to let him steal some of the ingredients he needed for an upcoming prank he had planned on Severus, but quickly quieted down when he saw the disappointed look on his girlfriend's face. As he finally started to listen, she began to explain why the two of them were here. The night had ended with the two deciding to sneak some leftover dinner out of the kitchen and eat it in the astronomy tower. 

Huddled under James’ invisibility cloak, the teenagers tried to keep their giggles at a minimum.

“Oh, would you stop knocking your head into mine?”

“Me?! You stop!”

Finally, after a lot of hushing and, as a result, even louder laughs, they had made it into the Astronomy tower and were now situated on the floor. The pair ate their dinner in a comfortable silence, each of them reflecting on how they had felt that day. Sirius felt loved. They hadn’t shared the three words yet, but there was no other way to explain it. It felt like he had finally found the light out of the tunnel that he had been running through for the past six years, ever since the Sorting Hat had placed him in the house that bled red and gold. He felt loved, safe, worthy. And that terrified him. Throughout the last six years, all he had heard was that he ruined everything. The taunts came from the only other woman he had ever loved. Yes, it was in a very different way but it was his mother. He loved her and all she had ever done was tell him he didn’t deserve the same in return. But as he looked at Y/N as she silently gazed at the stars in front of her, he knew she would never hurt him like that. She was here to stay. Despite this, he still couldn’t bring himself to do the one thing he was yearning to do. 

However, Y/N wasn’t on the same page. She began to move her hand up and down Sirius’s thigh as she rested her head on his shoulder, peering up at him. “Sirius?”

“Hm?” But he never got a reply, instead having her capture his lips in a sloppy manner. She shifted so she was propped back on her elbows and Sirius responded by laying her down further.  After a few more moments Sirius could feel that this was once again headed in a direction he had been avoiding. His suspicions were confirmed when Y/N let her fingers play with the hem of his sweater, as if waiting for him to give her some form of permission. As she waited, she brought one of his hands to rest low on her inner thigh, giving him access to move it where he wished. Sirius’ mind was yelling for him to pull away, but as he looked at her laying beneath him he couldn’t help but give into his desires. His hand disappeared under her white dress and pinched at the soft skin of her thigh. Y/N let out a whimper as he began to rub circles in addition to occasionally pulling at the skin. Sirius pulled his lips away at the same time that he moved his hand to rub against her lace underwear. He couldn’t believe the sight in front of him. Y/N had her eyes squeezed shut as she let out quiet moans at the way his fingers were moving against her core. Sirius’ lips trailed down her throat as he considered what was happening. There Y/N was, underneath him, her arousal pooling in his hands, and her breaths showing just how desperately she needed him, and yet he couldn’t go through with what he wanted. Sirius opened his eyes and - somehow surprisingly to Y/N - pulled away, heaving. But Y/N figured if he wasn’t going to respond to her physical hints, she would just use her words. 

“We don’t have to stop,” Y/N mumbled, resting her hand on his cheek as she stared into the swirling storm of his eyes. 

“No, that’s okay.” Taken aback by his brashness, Y/N let a few minutes pass before she spoke. Everything in her mind was telling her it was a bad idea to voice her concerns, but she had to at least communicate with her fucking boyfriend. 

“Sirius?”

“Yes, love,” Sirius was looking out the window, his arms now extended behind him propping him up. 

“Why won’t you fuck me?” Sirius’ eyes snapped up to Y/N’s, a look of pure shock on his face. She wanted to run away and never meet his eyes again, but she held her ground. This was normal. Couples talked. 

“I- what? I’m not not - I don’t,” Sirius blabbered before he was cut off by Y/N.

“Don’t bother denying it. I mean you’ve been avoiding doing anything past making out, which is fine! I just… i just wanna know why, is all.” Her gaze was stuck on the ground as she whispered the last part.

“I don’t know what to say,” Sirius said, dumbfounded. 

“Um, I guess - well, are you uncomfortable? Are you not ready yet?” Y/N’s suggestion was innocent, but all Sirius heard were accusations. Sirius wasn’t necessarily the most mature lad and Y/N implying he was nervous about having sex (one of the things he prided himself on knowing best) seemed like an attack to his pride. 

“What? Of course not. I am not the least bit unready.”

“Oh, great then! If you’re worried about me, then you don’t need to be. I’m ready too, Sirius. I really want you.” FUCK. Sirius’ bloody ego had gotten in the way of his only decent excuse as to why he wouldn’t have sex with his own girlfriend. Who was now even closer to Sirius, a welcoming smile on her face. 

“N-no. I mean I’m ready but…” 

Y/N stared at Sirius unsure of what to do. This was definitely the most awkward moment the two had found themselves in in all the years they had known each other. Staring for a couple more seconds, Y/N leaned closer only to have Sirius lightly push her back. 

“Siri-”

“I DON’T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU, Y/N!” He had uprooted from his spot and was now staring down at the girl, making her feel like an irritating child. She slowly rose up from her spot, tears now brimming her eyes as she looked at Sirius.

“Oh… so it’s me.”

“No.” Upon her eyes looking at him with a little more hope he quickly sputtered out, “I mean, yes. Yes, it’s you.” And just like that, tears were streaming down her face. She quickly ran around the slender boy, invisibility cloak be damned. Sirius’ shouts be damned. 

The next morning, Y/N had decided what had to be done. She greeted Lily with a smile as she normally would. She got ready for class as she normally would. And went down to meet up with Remus (who had a tendency to wake up late, just like her) as she normally would.

As the two friends talked casually, Remus didn’t even realize Y/N had sat down next to him in the Great Hall. But everyone else had. Y/N and Sirius had sat next to each other since second year. James claimed one side of Sirius’ while Y/N claimed the other. Even James had at times sat in other spots around the table, whether it was to try (and fail) to charm Lily or to tease Peter and Remus. But Y/N had never sat anywhere but next to Sirius and Sirius next to Y/N.

As the werewolf and witch’s laughter finally died down, they looked up to see the whole table staring at them. It was at that moment that Remus noticed the empty spot to the left of the boy across from him. His eyes shifted back to the girl next to him, watching as she quietly ate her food. 

“So, Y/N,” James began, a questioning look in his brown eyes. “Don’t wanna sit next to your boyfriend today?”

Sirius’ eyes were already trained on Y/N and the solemn look on his face couldn’t be missed. Her eyes met his for a fraction of a second before turning to James, a polite smile on her face as she replied. 

“Don’t have a boyfriend to sit next to,” She deadpanned. The clash of a fork was heard and now everyone, but the one person he wished was, was staring at Sirius. Unbeknownst to Y/N his eyes had gathered tears and he was looking at her as if his world had turned dark. Which it had. Her words had extinguished any form of light and now he was just wandering blind. He quickly shot up from his seat, looking frantically at the faces around him before running out of the Great Hall, ignoring his friend’s requests to slow down. 

“What the fuck was that, Y/N?” Y/N had expected James to be the one to shout at her, even Remus maybe. But when she recognized the voice as that of Lily’s her eyes shot up and she furrowed her brows. Had she really messed up? It might’ve been dramatic, but she didn’t think it was uncalled for. He didn’t want to be with her, she was cutting him loose. But the way Lily was staring at her, the judging glare she reserved for everyone but Y/N, made her question whether her ploy of embarrassing Sirius was worth it. But she was also upset. Maybe irrationally, but genuinely upset. So she shrugged her shoulders and continued to eat. 

The rest of the day had gone by at an alarmingly slow pace. Y/N’s head was pounding the entire day and all she wanted was to crawl into her bed. She hadn’t seen Sirius in any of their classes and Remus had informed her that he hadn’t attended other classes either. She felt guilty at his words, but she didn’t let it show as she told him she didn't really care what Sirius was up to. The worst part of the day was that while everyone seemed to be treating her normally - granted a little cautiously - her best friend had been giving her the cold shoulder. Since when had Lily become a fan of Sirius? The two shared a strong friendship, but she had warned Y/N at the start of her relationship that Black wasn’t the type of guy you trusted with your heart. Of course, at that time she had been referring to the fact that he often only sought out relationships with girls that ended in him receiving a sexual favor. Ah, the irony of it all. 

With Lily giving her the silent treatment and her growing headache, Y/N had opted to stay in her dorm for dinner. Instead, she decided to take a short nap to keep her from feeling everything she felt right now. 

“Wake up.” The voice that woke Y/N up from her sleep was harsh and belonged to none other than Lily Evans. As Y/N slowly sat up, Lily pointed to the plate of food she had brought her before exiting the room. It wasn’t fair. Sirius probably had all his mates with him consoling him (or rather cheering him on for his new found freedom) and Y/N didn’t even have the one person she was meant to. Sighing, she picked at her food and had a small conversation with Alice who had stopped by for a bit. Y/N could tell she was dying to ask her about the break up, but was refraining. One thing she could definitely go her entire life without dealing with, was the rumors she was bound to hear the next day. 

It had been a couple hours since Lily had left the plate with Y/N and Y/N’s ability to sleep had seemed to disappear. Which meant it was just her and her thoughts. She wondered if Sirius was okay. No person, let alone a man like Sirius, would be happy with the way she had ended things with him. She felt stupid for caring about what he felt. He basically said Y/N was sexually repulsive. The boy that fucked anything with legs, had said he didn’t want to sleep with her. The boy that was supposed to make her feel special.

Yet, all she could think about was that her notes wouldn’t be good enough today to give him for the classes he had missed. And she hoped that he had ate a proper lunch because in the last week him and Peter (who had been missing with Sirius at lunch) had been too busy playing stupid pranks to eat proper meals. She also wondered if he had talked to any other girls. She knew plenty of girls, even some of her friends, that had put their plans of seducing Sirius on hold because of her new relationship. Feeling the little bit of food she had managed to consume travel back up, she forced herself off her bed heading to the common room. She had to distract herself. 

She noticed her friends in one corner of the room, but when Lily’s cold gaze met hers she looked away and headed to another corner. She was lucky enough to find a few of her other friends to converse with. She hadn’t really put much input in the conversation, but she listened carefully to what her friends said in hopes that their gossip would distract her. 

“Y/N.”

Y/N’s eyes trailed up to meet Remus’ soft ones and a sympathetic smile on his face. He nodded his head to the other corner of the room, indicating for her to follow him. She slowly followed him, her nimble fingers playing with the frayed edges of her cardigan. 

“First of all, missy,” Started James a mischievous smirk on his face. “You are not allowed to just sit away from us. Even if some of us are being unnecessarily harsh.” Y/N’s eyes widened slightly as she realized he was referring to Lily. His Lily. But in that moment she was too grateful to worry, especially when he lovingly wrapped his arms around her shoulder letting her rest her head on his chest. She mumbled an apology and wrapped her arms around the torso of the boy that had treated her just like a sister since first year. 

“‘s no problem, bug. Just don’t make the same mistake twice.” She nodded her head, falling back asleep within minutes. When she woke up, James wasn’t holding her anymore and instead she was wrapped in a soft cashmere blanket on the same loveseat. It took her eyes a moment to adjust to the darkness, but when they did she had the breath knocked out of her. Across from her, on a slightly longer sofa, was the boy that had just been in her dreams. Sirius looked different from in her dreams, he appeared troubled even in his sleep. But beautiful nonetheless. 

Y/N quietly walked over to where he was laying, crouching next to him. She knew it was wrong but all she wanted was to feel his skin under the tips of her finger. She carefully moved the hair that had matted to his forehead behind his ear. She didn’t miss the way he was sweating and the smell of fire whiskey that left his open mouth. But she stayed right there next to him, tracing her fingers lightly across his cheek. Y/n wished she could freeze time right there. Because this way, he wasn’t bothered by her and she could have him right by her side. 

“You lost the right to touch me when you broke up with me,” Sirius’ rigid voice startled Y/N and she quickly pulled her hand back. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were up. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have,” her words left her mouth in a rush. Hastily, she began to head for the stairs but Sirius caught her wrist before she could leave. 

“Don’t go. Please.” The vulnerability in Sirius’ voice was enough to make her turn around. He was still laying on the sofa and he made no effort to explain himself. He just looked straight into her eyes, the fireplace casting shadows across his face. Her wrist was itching from his touch and her eyes burning from his stare. She swallowed her nerves and sat at the end of the sofa, releasing herself from his grip. 

“I shouldn’t have been so childish this morning,” Y/N murmured, her eyes looking straight at the fireplace. She shifted her gaze to look at him knowing she had to do this. “I’m sorry for the way I ended things, I should’ve done it in a more mature way.”

“You shouldn’t have done it at all.” Y/N would’ve scoffed if it wasn’t for the fact that Sirius looked like he was one wrong move away from falling apart. 

“That isn’t fair, Sirius,” Her voice rose slightly, but she recognized that the common room wasn’t the right place for her to unleash all her emotions. “You can’t expect me to stick around when you don’t even want me.”

Sirius simply sighed, using his arms to get up and bringing his knees to his chest. “You’re crazy stupid, love.”

Y/N was ablaze with anger now and was about to get up before deciding against it. She was going to speak her mind, no running away from this. 

“Yah, I’m so crazy for not wanting to be in a relationship where the guy I love doesn’t even want to have sex with me.” She was so angry she didn’t even realize what she had said.

“I love you too,” The raven haired boy replied, breathlessly. 

“What?” 

“You said you love me. Do you mean it?” Y/N cursed under her breath before looking at her lap as tears began to fall from her eyes. 

“Yes, Sirius. I love you,” The tears were falling harder now but she persisted. “But don’t lie to me. If you don’t love me, that’s okay. But stop pretending you do,” she was sobbing now. Her whole body was racking with sobs as she brought her hands up to cover her face. The long forgotten headache was slowly creeping back into her head and all she wanted was for it all to stop. But apparently the universe had other plans for her, because she was now being wrapped into the arms of the one person she wanted to get the farthest away from but also impossibly close to.

“I would never lie to you,” Sirius began, rubbing the young girls back. “Especially not about this. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t. I love you so much, Y/N. I don’t think you could ever understand how much I need you.”

The young girl didn’t respond, instead just letting her heart pour itself out in the arms of the boy who was squeezing it. Eventually, she pulled back from Sirius. He felt cold. Despite the fire that was lit right next to them, he felt so cold without the contact of her body. 

“How,” she sniffled. “How can you love me but say what you said last night? Do you think I’m unattractive? Or is it something I do?” Sirius had never seen the girl so unsure of herself. She almost always exuded confidence. Authentic confidence. He couldn’t believe that the girl he was meant to make feel secure, was doubting herself because of him. 

“Listen to me, Y/N. You are the sexiest girl I have ever seen. And that’s not just some bullshit I’m spewing to make you feel better. No, I mean you are literally the sexiest girl in all of Hogwarts and I am yet to find someone more attractive than you in any other place I’ve spent time. I’m pretty sure it’s impossible. You’re so fucking hot that - Merlin, this is embarassing - in fourth year I had my first wet dream about you.” At this the girl in front of him couldn’t contain the chortle that left her throat. 

“What?”

“I know, it’s so fucking embarassing. I never told you because I thought if I expressed how attractive I thought you were it would ruin our friendship.”

“Oh,” sensing the forlorn feelings creeping back into her mind, Sirius continued.

“But you’re also beautiful. Like heaven and the stars above on earth, ethereally beautiful. Do you remember last year, when you, Lily, me and the boys went to that muggle ball over summer holiday. The one Lily took us to? I, um, actually one moment,” Sirius without another explanation ran up the stairs. However, within seconds he ran back down a book in his hand. “You can’t tell anyone but I have a journal-”

“You have a diary?

“A journal.”

“I like when guys write in diaries.”

“It’s a diary, actually,” Sirius smirked when he saw a bigger smile spread across her face. He wouldn’t stop till he got one that met her eyes. “Well, this is my diary from fifth year. On the day we went to the ball, I wrote quite a lengthy entry - I’m sure you remember a lot happened that night. But, I wrote this first. I think I might be fucked. I’ve never doubted how attractive Y/N is, but today was different. She looked like an angel. I mean a literal angel. Her dress was gold and it had one of those necklines that makes a v-shape. That’s probably what they’re called actually. But, by Godric, she looked so gorgeous. When she was walking down Lily’s stairs to meet up with the boys and I, I had to pinch myself. I actually pinched myself, because I thought I was at my bloody wedding. A wedding?! Why the fuck did I think I was marrying my best friend? How is it humanly possible to be that beautiful?’”

“A wedding?” Y/N’s eyes were blown wide, as she looked at Sirius with worry.

“Don’t worry, love. We both know I have a tendency to be a bit dramatic We can table the wedding talk for a few years from now,” He winked, and this time he heard the laugh she let out. “What I’m trying to say, Y/N, is that your looks are not even in the question. Neither is anything you're doing. Which by the way can I just ask, how are you so good at that shit?” 

Her cheeks flushed and she was glad that it was dim in the room. Ignoring his question she proceeded with one of her own, “Then why, Sirius? If you’re ready and I’m ready and your diary knows that, why don’t you want to sleep with me?”

“I do, more than anything. I don’t know why I didn’t just say that yesterday,” Upon receiving a skeptical look, he continued to explain himself. “I want to be with you in that way and in every way possible, but I don’t want to rush it. Not because I’m nervous, per say, but because that’s what I always do.”

“Baby,” Sirius shifted closer as he heard the endearment leave Y/N’s lips. “I know you're more experienced than me, but that doesn't bother me. I’m not going to think that I’m just another one of your conquests, if that’s what you’re worried about.” 

“That was one thing I was worried about, but I also just think I need to take it slow for me. I’ve never had a girlfriend before. You had that one git early last year,” He grumbled, eliciting an even louder laugh from you. “But, I’ve never been in anything serious. And I think I need to assure myself that I can build a connection - a romantic one, that is - outside of sex. I’m quite shit at communicating, as we have gathered from recent events. I need to work on stuff like that first I think.”

The y/e/c eyed girl felt her heart swell as the words left his mouth and it took everything in her not to throw herself on top of him. 

“Are you upset?” It was Sirius’ turn to basfully face away, as he awaited a response. 

“How could I be?” Y/N moved closer to Sirius so that they were both face to face and her hands grabbed his. “I’ve been blessed with the best boyfriend in the world.” Sirius’ ears perked up at her words.

“Boyfriend?”

“If you’ll forgive me? I should’ve tried to understand you better. I shouldn’t have been so rash.”

“Wasn’t only your fault, I definitely had my part to play.”

“Hmm,” She hummed. She pulled at his hand in a way that indicated she wanted to lay down. He pulled her into his chest as she continued. “In that case, we can work on it while building our connection.”

“I like the sound of that,” Sirius nuzzled his chin into her hair, before resting his cheek over her head. “Now, tell me. How was your day without the amazing Sirius Black?”

“Oh, Sirius,” she started, already feeling better that she could vent to him. “It was utter shit. I mean not only did I not have you, Lily was so angry with me. All of the boys were so sweet, but Lily wouldn’t even look at me.” 

“Shit.”

“What?”

“Um, I might’ve told only Lily everything I just said to you, this morning. And I might’ve left out my harsh words last night.”

“Sirius!” Y/N tried to hit her fist against his chest, but he caught it easily. 

“I’m sorry! The boys wouldn't have understood what I was saying. I’m actually the most sensible of the bunch.” 

“Okay, well that just isn’t true. But too bad, Lily’s my best friend, you get the three boys that barely make one brain together and I get the smartest girl in our year. Do you understand?” She sassed, only a little mirth evident in her voice. 

“Yes ma'am,” Sirius grumbled. 

“Good.” 

“You’re wrong by the way,” Sirius spoke, continuing upon seeing Y/N’s confused stare. “You’re the smartest girl in our year.” 

She rolled her eyes before replying, “I can’t be the sexiest and the smartest girl.” 

“That’s why you’re so amazing, you defy the odds!” At his compliment, the girl simply mumbled for him to shut up and he pulled her closer. 

“Y/N, can you say it again?” She didn’t have to ask him what he meant. She knew.

“I love you, Sirius,” She whispered, pressing a kiss against his clothed shoulder. “I love you so fucking much.”

“I love you too, darling.”

“I love you.”

[crazy-little-thing-called-me]

The scent of the Croatian sea

Hey everyone,

I know this is actually a sideblog about this certain royal rock band from England, but since the European football championships are on right now, my little obsession with the Croatian national team came back to life, especially for smol bean captain Lukita Modrić <3

So this is a little thing I wrote back in 2018 that I recently found again. I hope you enjoy it and I´m sorry for all the grammar mistakes!!!

Summary: On a holiday trip to Croatia with your friends, you meet a young Croatian guy at a bar some night. After you’ve spent hours and hours of talking, he invites you to a sightseeing trip through his home town Zadar the next day.

Word count: 1300 +/-

Warnings: Just fluff and my poor knowledge of the English language!

It was a sunny morning when you woke up in your hotel room. 10 days of Croatian sun and sea with your three best friends was the plan for this year`s summer vacation. You wanted to savour every moment of it.

When you thought about yesterday evening, you immediately felt a fluttering sensation growing in your stomach. While your friends left the local pub you`ve went to after 30 minutes to “find a place less lame than this”, you`ve spent the whole evening there with a young man called Luka into who`s arms you`ve been running there at the bar. And who has made this place a lot less lame for you at least.

The two of you talked about anything and everyone and you wanted the evening to last forever; his invitation to be your sightseeing guide and show you the most beautiful places of his home town the next day has probably made you the happiest girl around.

Finally, you got up to get dressed, choosing the yellow sundress you bought only for this vacation, combined with your white slippers. You tried to be as quiet as possible after your friends were still recovering from yesterday evening; you could barely imagine what must have happened in that other disco they went to. You left a note on the table saying “I`m in town with Luka, see you for dinner”, and as you just wanted to leave you turned right back, adding: “In case of blackout: he`s the guy I`ve met at the bar”. You smiled to yourself and left the room.

He waited for you in front of the hotel, wearing a blue polo shirt, his blond locks covering his shoulders. You couldn’t help but smile at the sight of him, and before you could call his name, he spotted you, only to smile back at you as brightly.

You grabbed a croissant and a coffee at a nearby bakery before you started your tour through the city. Luka showed you the beautiful historic city with all its majestic churches and nostalgic little corners. He even showed you his old school with the football field where his career began. Around lunchtime, you went to the port where Luka invited you to a boat tour along shore.

You`ve found a place at the side of the boat where there were only the two of you. You started chatting while you both watched the beautiful coast of the Adriatic Sea passing by.

“Nooo. Please don’t cut it. I like your hairstyle.”, you said.

“Yah?”, Luka asked and furrowed his eyebrows sceptically for a second before he started smiling again.

“Yes I do”, you replied. “It suits your face. Because it has such a delicate shape… the look really matches you.”

Luka smiled and stared at his feet, you even had the impression of a small blush rising on his cheeks.

“I wish I had hair like yours”, you added quickly. “I could really need that stage of volume”, you continued and you both started laughing. Luka raked his hands through his golden locks.

“I`ll leave it like this. I didn’t really want to cut it anyways”, he said and smiled. You returned that smile to him.

The look he gave you let a slight shiver run down your spine. His almond shaped eyes were fascinating you, the soft shade of brown was a perfect contrast to the golden strands of Lukas hair that were framing his features. He wore a light tan that suited him so very well; his lips had the perfect shape.

That was the moment your brain stopped working.

“You`re beautiful.”

Oh goodness. What did you just say? You clasped your hands over your mouth. For a split second, Luka`s eyes widened in surprise. “Imsorry” you rushed, “oh my goodness, I`m so sorry Luka”, but he smiled, a bit shy at first, but then with more confidence.

“God, I-I don`t know why I said that”, you went on stumbling. This was so embarrassing. Of course you found him breathtakingly beautiful, but you feared your words would put him under pressure.

But right then Luka began to laugh so heartily, and after the shock had passed you had no chance than joining in.

“It`s okay y/n. I mean, that’s usually what the guy should be saying”, Luka said and the colour of your faced turned into a deep shade of red. “But… thank you. Really”, he said and smiled so bright the sun on this splendid afternoon seemed pale next to him. You still didn’t dare to look into his eyes and tried to find a thing at the far coast to draw your attention to and avoid making eye contact.

Suddenly, Luka reached out to gently touch your cheek, guiding your view to meet his again. He took a step forward so there were only a few centimetres left separating the two of you. The scent of his perfume and the heat radiating from his body so close to yours made you feel dizzy.

“You are so beautiful, y/n. I have caught myself admiring not only once today but… didn’t dare to say anything and now I feel stupid because you got ahead of me”, he smirked while you let out a weak chuckle.

His eyes flickered down to your lips nervously and god, you wished he would kiss you so badly. Luka called upon all of his courage, and your eyes fluttered shut as you felt him lowering his lips onto yours.

It was a shy kiss, but it was wonderful. You often remembered that moment in the following years, savouring every detail from his hair that tickled your nose to his soft lips that tasted like sea salt.

After a few moments he leant back slightly as he watched you with concerned eyes.

“Was that okay?”, he whispered and you could hear his voice shaking from arousal. Those soft and caring words made goose bumps rise all over your back as you replied to him by stepping on your tippy toes to gently connect your lips once again.

Luka was more courageous this time. He sneaked his hands around your waist to pull you closer into the kiss. You grabbed the collar of his shirt to hold onto something while losing yourself completely in the feeling of his body all over yours. With his left hand he caressed your cheek as you tilted your head back slightly while you parted your lips. His tongue slipped into your mouth while a quiet moan escaped Lukas lips. All the time he was so carefully and tender which only fuelled your desire to get more from him.

It felt like it has been a short eternity when you parted from each other, both breathing heavily while you tried to hold on to his collar.

“My legs feel a bit shaky”, you giggled while Luka took hold of the railing to save the two of you from falling over. “Mine too”, he chuckled, “and I don’t think that comes from the swell”. You both started laughing as you snuggled your face comfortably into the crook of his neck, his free hand not letting you get any farther from him, running up and down the small of your back.

The typhon announced the ship would soon arrive back at the port of Zadar.

“Could you kiss me again when we´re off the boat?”, you asked Luka, a small grin rising on your face. Luka smiled brightly and as a reply, he took your hand to guide you through the passengers back onto mainland.

[anissanightyoung]

Of kisses and Roman traditions

[SUMMARY] Where Seungkwan enjoys kissing you and blames it on the Romans.

Idk what this is. Fluff? Flirty!Seungkwan definitely. Oh and noona!reader😁

3,087 words

HAPPY 6 YEARS TO MY BOYS💖💎

masterlist

You and Seungkwan have already kissed on three occasions. You didn't want to put too much thought into it, and you never mentioned it anyway. But sometimes it's hard to stop thinking about what those kisses mean.

The first kiss was at Seungkwan's house. All your friends were already asleep, tired of playing all his board games, and drunk innumerable bottles of liquor. You had finished cleaning up when Seungkwan came towards you. "Yah, why did you clean? This is my apartment.” You laughed at his half-asleep state, you could see just how tired he was trying to beat Soonyoung with one drunk. He did his best, but Soonyoung kept giving him +2s and +4s of tequila or vodka and mixing alcohol in Seungkwan's system ended badly. He threw up twice overnight.

"Look at you, hangover's gonna bite your ass in the morning. And you know I can't sleep when this place is trashed." You can hear him laughing lazily, trying to stay awake. "Come on, let's get you to bed." Seungkwan grins, "Starving. Creamy cheese bagels. Feed me?" You laughed at his antiques. You met him a year ago, and you know drunk Seungkwan needs to eat before he goes to bed. "This is a way of waking up hangover-free, noona. You should try it." But you know that Seungkwan will still have a headache the following day, with an Americano as a telling sign.

"You're too cute for your own good, do you know that?" You joked to him, shaking your head. You were warming up the bagel when he took your hand. "Happy anniversary, noona."

"What?"

"Do you think I wouldn't remember? It's the anniversary of the first time we met.”

"What a sappy, sappy man you are." You laugh while finishing his sandwich. You turned around to face him and said "ah" so he could take a bite out of the bagel. When he did, it was as if he had tasted food for the first time. When he had already swallowed his first bite, he suddenly threw his arms into your waist, swallowing you in a cuddle. That surprised you because he's not usually that sweet, and now he's very touchy.

"What are you doing?" You asked him when he set his bagel down on the counter and tugged the ends of your shirt pulling you closer to him. This is the only time you have noticed how he is a few inches taller than you, and that he has long eyelashes a bit like those of a baby. You were that close to notice that. He slowly bent over your face, staring directly at your lips, waiting for you to stop him. When you didn't, he closed the gap between the two of you and kissed you softly.

When he retired, he laid his head upon the counter and slept his intoxication away. You figured he’s too wasted to have done so. When you asked about the kiss the next day, he brushed it off, saying,  “Sorry, got wasted trying to beat that tiger hyung.��  

“Just don’t do it again okay? Friends don’t do that.”

“Yepp,” popping the last letter, “I’ll take you to your favorite burger place to make it up to you.” He drags you to his car while holding your hand. When he was driving, he held your hand still. “Hey, it's not okay to kiss, but it's okay to hold hands?” There was complete silence.

“Friends can hold hands, sure. When did friends start kissing on the lips?

“Friends with benefits do.”

“Ya are you asking me to? Cause you know I’m not into that kind of shit!”

Seungkwan laughed at your outburst. “Joking noona, sheesh. You’re getting old.”

“Shut it, I’m barely a year older than you.”

Throughout the ride, he didn't let go of your hand. However, you didn't seem to mind the extra warmth.

The second kiss took place around a campfire.

Soonyoung told the three of you that he wanted to go for a drive, and you were shocked when he suddenly parked by a beach. You never asked how Soonyoung got all of your clothes and other belongings, but he seemed to need the view of a peaceful ocean at night, so you all decided. You were already there, and the semester had just ended.

While you and Seungkwan were eating dinner you bought near the store, Seokmin began jamming to a guitar and singing his heart out. Soonyoung was on the lookout for the beach's caretaker to inquire about some wood for a campfire.

“I swear, I know Soonyoung oppa is the most spontaneous of us all, but I never expected him to be this bad. Is it really because of the finals?” 

“He may look carefree, but hyung goes through a lot,” Seokmin chuckled. You understand; everybody has their own way of dealing with their baggage, and Soonyoung's are to be daring and laugh his problems away.

“Minnie, can you play the song you submitted for your music class as a group project?” Campfire?” You believe it is appropriate for the atmosphere of the evening. While Seokmin was singing, you glanced over at Soonyoung to see how he was doing. His smile is beaming, and his eyes are glassy as he takes in the stunning scenery in front of him. You were relieved to see that his plan worked.

You looked at Seungkwan, realizing that this was his first time hearing the track. “Kwannie, pay attention to the next line. It's comforting.” You sang with Seokmin when the part came up. It reminds you of how Seungkwan made getting out of bed easier every day. Your anxiety held you awake at night or made you fearful of what might happen the next day. But Seungkwan, he unintentionally shone on you at a difficult period. Slowly but steadily, you began to anticipate waking up knowing that he would face the day with you.

Soonyoung accompanied Seokmin to the market to buy some food after he finished jamming due to his hunger. It was time for you to jam. Of course, you'd choose Taylor Swift's The Way I Loved You, in honor of her Fearless cover. You've always admired Taylor Swift's music, especially the older songs because you identify with the words she wrote. You were grateful for how her music got you through your childish heartbreaks.

You were so engrossed in Seungkwan's angelic voice that you didn't know he was already squatting in front of you. Both of you were grinning at each other when the last chord was struck, and you kissed him as though it were nothing out of the ordinary. The kiss felt right; it felt like it was what completed the song you were singing; it felt like the happy ending the song promised. To keep your balance, you clutched his arm. When you jerked away from him when you awoke from your daydream, he immediately drew you back in and kissed you again, squeezing your hand three times.

The four of you had agreed to spend Christmas Day at Seokmin's. Your mother didn't let you hear the end of it when you told them you couldn't come home because your family has always been conventional. Your mother guilt-tripping you to come home, saying, "We're family, we're supposed to spend time together." “Ah, well, families are supposed to support one another, not nag each other to death when one fails to meet one's expectations.” After that, you hang up, assuming that if you don't agree, your mother will say something else that you don't want or need to hear.

Seungkwan was supposed to pick you up, so while you were waiting for him, you double-checked everything you'd packed to make sure you hadn't forgotten anything. Seungkwan's introduction of Soonyoung and Seokmin is one of the things for which you are grateful. You've outgrown your crappy friends from high school, so the trio is a breath of fresh air for you.

You place your bags in the trunk as soon as you see his car, like a little kid heading to Disney World. “Thanks for picking me up, Kwannie,” she said, beaming. You excitedly slid down to the passenger seat. He immediately hugged you once you were sitting, saying, "Ah noona, you're in a good mood?" You can see his smile doesn't reach his eyes when you've broken free from the embrace. He's giving you a fake one.

“This is my first trip away from my home. I already know it'll be a lot of fun.”

“Really? At Seokmin Hyung's house, you'll feel right at home. His mother prepares the most delicious Christmas dinner. My mother's cooking pales in comparison.” Seungkwan once gave you a dish made by her mother, and one bite was enough to make you feel like you'd died and gone peacefully to heaven. The fact that Seokmin's mother cooks better piqued your curiosity. “Ah really? Then I'd really have to give it a taste.” He smiled again, the false smile, and you're starting to get bothered by it.

“What are you doing, Kwannie?” You're giving me this strange grin.”

“What do you mean strange?”

“Fake smile. It's the first time you've feigned a smile at me. What’s up?”

“You can see right through me, can't you?”

“Yes, I do. Would you like to talk about it?”

“Nope. But I'd like to take your hand.”

Seungkwan is holding your hand and exhaling contentedly. He kept it until you arrived at Seokmin's house.

Seokmin's house is warm and inviting. They live in a house on a corner with a vibrant garden surrounding it. The living room has an L-shaped couch that can comfortably seat all four of you, with additional seating available. Seokmin and his sister have a wall full of family photos and accomplishments. You can tell Seokmin's parents are a laid-back, loving family, as shown by his kindness and good humor. You don't know if it was the long ride, but you fell asleep as soon as you sat on their couch after the house tour.

When you first awoke, you chose to visit their garden, which you recall has a swing set. Seungkwan is seated by himself.

You teased, "Where are your twins?"

“They went grocery shopping with Mrs. Lee.”

“What kept you from going?”

“Too exhausted from driving.”

“Then you should've just slept with me.”

Seungkwan swung his head in your direction right away. “I-uh, what?”

Then it dawned on you what you'd said. This is so humiliating. “Sleep!” you exclaimed, “Sleeping, with eyes closed and resting-“

“I never expected you to finally ask me-”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHEN YOU SAY "FINALLY" YOU LITTLE SHIT?”

He laughed out loud at your reaction while you chased him around the backyard. He quit running around after you told him that you wouldn't smack him in the head.

“I hate you.”

That made Seungkwan stop laughing.

“Do you regret meeting me?”

You were surprised at his sudden change of tone, no longer joking. “Is this what it’s all about?”

“Well. Yeah.”

“I'm not sure what got you to think like that. You said, “But you know our first meeting was a flop.” When people meet for the first time, they usually ask for each other's names, go through some more tedious formalities, and then seal the deal with a handshake. You had an early class with him, and you didn't mind sharing a seat with him almost every time because you thought he was one of the quiet ones. The year was difficult for you because things didn't go your way, you had a lot of misfortunes, and you had a lot of work piling up that was affecting your mental health.

As you sat down in your chair one fateful morning, you put your cup of coffee on your side of the table. This is where Seungkwan got his drink mixed up with yours because you both have the same coffee taste.

“- flop is an exaggeration for that noona-”

“-you drank my coffee in our 8 a.m. class thinking it was yours, I'll never forgive you.” Reliving that moment made you roll your eyes. “But you know what? You wouldn't have replaced it if you hadn't, and I wouldn't have had the best year of my life.” It may seem to be an exaggeration, but it is true. You were grateful for Seungkwan's carefree and playful personality, which helped you get through your lowest point. He had no idea what you were going through, but you were relieved that someone was taking care of you.

He can be seen chewing his mouth, attempting to conceal his smile. “Ah dumb main character in a drama,” air quotes the phrase, ‘I wish I hadn't met you.' “I instantly thought of you.”

“Huh, that's strange.”

“What is?”

“That. As I previously said, this has been the best year I've had in, what, three years? And it's all thanks to you. I might be harsh with you all of the time, cursing at you whenever I get the chance, but that's just how I am. I'm glad I got you as one of my most reliable friends, my rock, and my go-to person. Even Seokmin and Soonyoung oppa were introduced to me by you. Seungkwan, I'd rather live in a world with you in it. Don’t think otherwise.”

Seungkwan stared at you and felt a combination of emotions. He kissed you when he understood what he felt.  At first, you thought it’ll be quick like the last time, a peck. But he deepened the kiss, and when his tongue touched yours, you hear him groan. He tugged you closer, afraid you’ll get away. He reassuringly held your hands, squeezing them three times just like the second time. I can get used to this. You thought. You focused on his soft lips, how you’ve always felt content while kissing him.

He pulled away, his chest heaving for breath. “Holy shit,” Seungkwan said. You nodded in agreement, apparently unable to concentrate because of your heart beating so loudly.

“I-, uh, I--”

“I thought we’ve talked this through?-”

He sighed deeply before adding, “I-I got cold. Sorry, noona.”

“You dumb shit, if you were cold, I would have made you hot chocolate. I’m nice sometimes you know.”

“I don't mind,” he smirked, “you're hotter anyway.”

“What the heck is wrong with you? I swear to god, you've been flirting with me since that drunk uno shit.”

“It's a Roman thing to kiss under the mistletoe,” he said, pointing to the mistletoe he was carrying.

You both laughed it off, thinking about how ridiculous it sounded. “Roman tradition my ass.”

You and Seungkwan are both in the hospital on New Year's Eve.

“Ah, what a dumb plan you had there,” you exclaimed, staring at him in disbelief.

“Well, I've always wanted to go out of my comfort zone...”

You give him a light smack on the head. “Shut up. Now I'm trapped in a hospital over New Year's because of your dumb plan.”

It's never a good idea to combine Seungkwan with hiking. Sure, he's fit, but when was the last time he went hiking?

“Then have Seokmin hyung or Soonyoung hyung accompany me.”

“They're still at Seokmin's.” You and Seungkwan both arrived at your dorms earlier than anticipated. After all, you didn't want to overstay your welcome; it was your first time. You were worried that Seokmin's mother would think you were too at ease in their home.

“Well, if you want to go home, you can.”

“Who will look after you if I go home?”

For a moment, Seungkwan didn't dare add a sarcastic comment on that question. So, instead, “Come on y/n, don't be so mad...”

“Where are your manners, I'm your noona?”

“three kisses in and I still can't call you by your name?”

You blushed when you remembered all of the times Boo SeungKwan kissed you and how sweet his soft lips were.

“Noona is blushing, wah.”

“I hope your ankle doesn’t heal you little shit.”

Raising his eyebrows at you. "You don't mean that. You love me."

"Of course I do. I love all three of you."

He reached for your hand. "I bet you love me more." There it was again, Seungkwan surprising you with his sudden seriousness. He was staring straight into your eyes, waiting for your response. Luckily, a nurse came in to check his vitals.

 A few minutes after the nurse came out, both of you were ignoring each other due to that sudden tension. To ease the situation, both of you just watched television until you fell asleep.

"Y/n wake up." Nudging you by your shoulders. "We're nearing the countdown. Cmon," and urged you to stand by the window, waiting for the fireworks.

Seungkwan then leaned in to put an earphone in, with a song already playing in the background. You realized it was a song written by Soonyoung's classmate, Woozi, for a songwriting class. You were bopping your head to the music when the ten-second countdown started. 

You and Seungkwan alternately sang along.

10

9

"I promise myself, while drinking a glass of water in the morning, to tell you"

새벽에 물을 마시면서 혼자 다짐해 나는 너에게

8

7

"Beautiful words like the lines in a movie"

영화처럼 달콤하고 예쁜 그 말

6

5

"The words I've prepared overnight for days"

몇 날 며칠 밤새 연습했던 그 말

4

3

"I want to say them to you tomorrow with clenched fists"

내일은 꼭 두 주먹을 꽉 쥐고 말해주고 싶어

2

1

Seungkwan turned to face you just in time for the next line.

"You are pretty." 

너 예쁘다

As soon as the clock struck twelve and the fireworks went off, Seungkwan kissed you. What astonished you was how you knew he was about to kiss you and how you returned the kiss with fervor as he deepened it. You can't help but compare this man to fireworks; how dark it was before him, and how awestruck you were when he came into your life.

Seungkwan was the first to back away, touching his forehead to yours and giggling like a joyful little kid. “Did you know that it’s a Roman tradition to kiss on the first minute of the new year?”

“Blaming the Romans again, I see?” playfully raising your eyebrows at him.

He laughed at that, giving you no excuse. "I love you, Y/n."

You grinned as you silently thank the Romans for their weird traditions.

[jinjofitzo]

Unedited mess!

So i didn’t revise and edit this but this is a little story that i wrote for my friends @noodleduckling and @toastabi !! some uh necromancy funzies featuring hyperactive gremlin. i’ve never written selmers before so i hope poyo isn’t too disappointed in the result! this was also all primarily poyo’s idea, and the whole writing pecice was just based off of these dootles,

But yah. that’s what that one scene looks like illustrated! that is the most trans i’ve drawn memeo yet

Anyways!

synopsis: Memeo comes to terms with his feelings of clingyness. Meanwhile Selmers takes Linus on a wild adventure to go get some grub, but to make sure they—mainly Linus—are safe, Memeo follows them throughout it.

self endulgent mess. oh and selmers

Skyler found their friend slumped in the chair they were next to.

“Sky.. I need advise,” Memeo said, looking away.

“Well, I ain’t the best in town but I'm here for ya. Whadda you got on your mind?”

Memeo didn’t know how to say it. He thought it was a dumb thing to even think of.

“It’s very.. It’s selfish. Nevermind.” Well that just wouldn’t do, would it? Skyler patted his shoulder.

“I wouldn’t know that until you told me. Just speak your heart's desires, I’m not one to judge!” They said with a smile. That convinced Memeo.. He still wouldn’t give them a glance. Just stared off and tapped the arm his head was laying in with rhythmic value.

“So.. You know Linus, correct?..”

Ah. It’d be about her.

“Yes, I think I do! I’d know more if she talked to me..” Skyler said with an awkward chuckle. Memeo thought a minute before replying,

“Soon enough. Though I had been thinking about this one thing.. It sounds stupid, but..”

Skyler leaned in as Memeo’s voice got lower, and quieter.

“After she had disappeared for those months I got really scared. Overtime I gained this feeling, maybe I always had it, but I just.. Once she returned I never wanted to let her go again. I didn’t want her to go out and get hurt. Or someone wins her over, and then breaks her heart.. She’s so small, both meantally and physically.. If anyone were to protect her I’d want it to be me. If someone were to make her happy.. I’d want it to be me. I just.. I want her..”

He stopped. As he spoke his words just kept flooding out, no filter. Just emotion. This hadn’t happened before, but it’s already slipped.. No stopping now.

“To myself. I want her to be mine. But that’s dumb anyways.. Selfish and all.”

Skyler paused for a moment. They hadn’t expected that. Although, they weren't disappointed either.

“It’s perfectly fine you feel that way! In fact-a-mundo, it’s a great thing! That means you truly care for her.. And that’s a great sign of an amazing relationship! It’s normal to feel that way!”

Memeo lifted his head from his arms. He didn’t expect an answer like that! .. Skyler leaned in once more and whispered,

“Don’t tell Kacie, but I feel the same way abouts her.”

Memeo made a little giggle. That’s interesting! But at least for once he feels.. In the right place. Like he’s not in the wrong.

“Well, what do you wanna do about it?” Skyler asked him. That’s what got Memeo out of his .. Spaced-out moment.

“I want to hold her.. Close to me. Never let go.”

…

“Well where is she right now?” Skyler asked once more, nudging Memeo to take action. I admit, that’s the right thing to do as a relationship advisor, correct?

“She’s-..” That’s when he noticed. He shot straight up.

“SHES ALONE!”

He dashed over to the room, though once he entered, he was greeted with a.. Neutrally pleasant surprise.

——————————————-

“HAHA HAAAAAH!!” That wasn’t a cackle of his beloved. In fact, it was her friend, Selmers! … They and Linus were riding away in a toy car. Right in between his legs.  

“W-WHY ARE WE GOING SO F-FAST-?!?” Now that was the anxious scream of his beloved. Before they could skirt off any farther, Memeo swiftly picked up the car and put it up to his eye level. The rumblings of being picked up alerted Linus until she and Selmers looked out of the window to see an eye. It was Memeo’s eye.

“When’d you get so small? Where do you think you two are going in such a hurry? Taking Linus along too?” Memeo gave them an entire questionnaire with an annoyed glare. Linus just shook in shock, it was still piecing together in her mind what had just happened.

“Since this gal taught me! The real question is when'd you get so big, mister? We’re stoppin’ to Mcdonald’s, we could getcha somethin’ too! And of course, wouldn’t wanna leave my bestie behind!” Selmers explained, nudging Linus with their elbow. They talked fast; they weren't in a hurry, just full of energy!

Memeo was still pissed though.

“Linus, did you consent to this?” He said sternly. Linus gulped and shifted her sweater’s collar.

“N-Not necessarily.. Although I-I’m not opposed to us going—!”

Memeo’s glare got harder.

“Hey, you werent gonna know anyways, big guy! We’ll getcha whatever you want, just speak!” Selmers tried lifting the mood with a little silliness. Linus did a nervous laugh alongside it.

“You’re not leaving.”

Silence.

“Not without this car on the ground we won’t!” Selmers quacked, laying back in the chair. Memeo wasn’t about fun and games right now, that’s for sure.

“It’s not going back to the floor. You’re not leaving.” Linus tensed a bit. Maybe she could reason?..

“Well, this could be a test maybe!!.. I could convince you that I can take care of myself by going across the street with Sel making sure I’m okay, and plus, I haven’t eaten!.. I’d like a snack..” She peeped. Maybe he’d give it a try?

He didn’t respond, only set the car back down to the floor.

“This is the only chance you're getting. Selmers, mess up and you’re dinner.”

Selmers only squeaked as a response and they drove off. Linus thought they’d been alone, but little did she know she wasn’t. Memeo quickly changed into his public attire and went Phantom 2. Just to observe, make sure nothing bad happens. Passive haunting, really.

“HELLO MX. SKYLER— GOODBYE MX. SKYLER!!!” Linus shouted as they drove past.

“Oh good morning!.. WAIT KID YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE?!” Skyler got up out of the chair, but they were already out of the front door by the time they got up. Memeo flashed Phantom 1 for a moment just to signal Skyler the”Keep this a secret,” Sign as he went back to Phantom 2. Raising kids really was going to be a hard ride.

With that, Selmers and Linus were out on the road!.. The road being the sidewalk.

“CAN WE SLOW DOWN PLLEEEEAAAASSSEEE!!!” Linus yelped as she held onto the glove compartment. Selmers replied with a “Tch,” noise and said;

“This is a test for your backbone! You gotta learn to live a little; Toughen up if you will!” Selmers said, not looking at the road. They almost ran into a fire hydrant, though Memeo moved the car so it avoided it.

“Huh-? I MEAN. ANYWAYS. VROOM OOOOMMMM!!” They shouted as they drove through the grass. At this time, Linus really wished this car came with seatbelts. Ahead was a human walking their dog. It was a nice day anyway. Although, the human wasn’t looking where they were walking, and the dog mistakes the two for fresh new chew toys. Well Memeo, if you’re gonna act, ACT FAST!!

…That he did. He gave the dog this deathening stare that almost made them go pale. That stopped them in their tracks. Then he moved the car off the path then back to the sidewalk, all the while giving the human a sickened look behind their back.

“Watch where you’re going, bozo.” He thought.

“WAAAAH HOOOOOOOO!!!” Selmers screamed as the car went almost haywire. Linus’ response was the exact opposite,

“AAAAAAAIIIEEEE!!” She screamed. Maybe this was a bad idea and she should've stayed with Memeo. They headed near the entrance of the Mcdonald’s, but they had to manage the traffic of the Drive-Thru to get in the establishment.

“CAN WE TURN BACK YET!? I’M SCARED!!” Linus yelped as they ran right under a driving car. Memeo was more than relieved he decided to follow them, they would’ve been dead without him. He gave them a little nudge so the tire didn’t crush them in its tracks.

“ALMOST THERE, KID!!” Selmers responded, ignoring her entire request. They busted through the door and used a chair to rev up it and hopefully get enough momentum to reach the counter. Of course they didn’t, so Memeo sighed and propelled them enough to land precisely onto the counter. He’s being a real one here, honestly.

——————————————-

“OH!! WE ACTUALLY MADE IT!” Selmers said surprised, almost jaw dropped and baffled. They didn’t expect that to really work.

“YOU DIDN'T PLAN FOR US TO LIVE?!” This was the last time Linus would ever let Selmers drive them around.

The cashier just stared at the tinies whom just did the oddest stunt, just to order at a mediocre Mcdonald’s of all places. Xe just looked at them confused and started the conversation.

“What an entrance.. What are you two in for today? The menu’s up above if you’re wondering!” The cashier said as xe pointed up at the menus on the tv’s  above. Selmers and Linus got out of the car, though both in different ways. Selmers swung open the door and slammed it shut, approaching the cashier with a wide stance. Linus fumbled to open the door, and almost didn’t close it! She waddled over, staying behind Selmers hoping they’d talk for her. She didn’t feel like socializing at the moment.. Specifically with someone she hadn’t met.. And someone so taller.

“WELL,” Selmers yawned as they stretched back. “Me and her will have an order of 20 nuggets, may you!”

The cashier looked at them confused. “Those little tikes? Eating 20 nuggets?… I shouldn’t underestimate,” xe figured. The cashier looked down at xer notepad and wrote it down.

“A-And I think Memeo would want a fry!” Linus suggested as she tugged Sel’s shoulder. Memeo made a smile of contentment, though no one could see.. Literally! He was invisible.

Selmers then repeated what Linus had said, but louder than she had said it first.

“And then one large fry and.. uhh.. One ice cream and a coffee!!..” Selmers ordered. The cashier continued to write as Linus tugged again.

“Who’s those for?..”

“Kacie and Skyler,” Selmers whispered back. “Wouldn’t wanna leave them out, would we!”

It was nice of them to think of those two. Selmers visits so often, of course they’d know what the two would want.

After a couple minutes of fumbling, their order had arrived!.. Though they didn’t know how to get this big bag back home.

“Oh crumbles.. Crud Nuggets!!.. What’re we gonna do..” Linus panicked, pacing back and forth. Memeo had to resist the urge to go back to physical fully so he could comfort her. That, and just take the food home.

“…OH YEAHHH! I ain’t stuck like this forever!” And with that, Selmers shifted back to their normal 3’6.

“So they didn’t get shrunken?” Memeo thought to himself. Apparently not!

Once they arrived home, Memeo changed back into his lounge clothes and sat back to where he was when they left. Sel gave Skyler the ice cream and Kacie the coffee and ran off to Memeo’s room, with Linus in one hand, and the food in the other. They left the car at the front doorstep, for now.

“So who’s gotten bigger this time?” Memeo said with the LEAST amount of expression on his face.

Selmers put the kid and food down on Memeo’s desk.

“WE DROVE OUT AND DIDN'T DIE!” They said pridefully as they shrunk back down onto the desk, and started to nibble at a nugget.

“I definitely felt like I was about to,” Linus said with another nervous giggle. She was never doing that again.

“Sounds like you two had fun. Or at least one person did,” Memeo said, referring to Selmers. “Though after hearing Sel say you two were CLOSE to dying, I don’t think I’ll be letting you out of my eyesight anytime soon.”

“WE WERNT GONNA DIE, I WAS JUST GONNA MAKE A DUMB DECISION-!” Selmers scoffed as they finished their fifth nugget. So that’s why they ordered 20.

“Awwwhhh Nn!! Another chance maybe?..” Linus moped as she gave

Memeo the puppy dog eyes. He may have cooed internally, but that wouldn’t get him to change his mind. He went over to get his fries, and last second, surprise picked Linus up.

“Who’s doing things without consent now!” Selmers teased as they slapped their knee.

“Mnnifs diffmnt..” Memeo mumbled as he started to hug Linus. She made a surprised giggle in the sudden affection.

“Wh-What a day!!..”

[k-llama-llama]

Blueming

Stray Kids AU: 9th member

Tori x Stray Kids

Tori’s debut is here!

A/N:  A couple of notes: one, this is pretending that her debut was right after Back Door promotions ended. Second, there will be a post later with outfits, some videos, etc. Stay tuned. Please check out my PATREON (patreon.com/kllamallama) for exclusive posts you can’t get anywhere else, as well as lots of other cool benefits!

Requests are OPEN and your feedback is still greatly appreciated!

Masterlist and other Follow Me links in bio!

Tori was having the best day of her life.

She’d been so terrified for her solo debut, scared of what her boys would think and of what the fans would say, that she’d worried herself sick almost every night that week.

But now that she was standing on the stage, with the knowledge that her song was charting, she was able to relax and enjoy herself.

It wasn’t really a showcase – it was more of a livestream that fans had to preregister for. She’d already performed her song, and then she had a short Q&A before she performed her final song of the evening, which was an acoustic version of an unreleased Stray Kids song. Chan had gifted it to her in order to celebrate her debut, and she knew a lot of fans had been excited to see it.

It had been really weird performing in front of just cameras and a crew but getting to interact with the fans over live stream had made it seem a bit more normal.

Their manager signaled for her to give the ending statement.

“Thank you everyone so much for tuning in!” Tori waved at the camera. “I am so proud to have shown you all of my skills in my first single, Blueming. I hope I’ll be able to continue to show you all a Tori that you can love and support! I’ll see you all soon.” She waved and blew kisses until the cameras were off.

The staff all applauded as soon as they were given the all clear.

“Thank you so much everyone!” Tori exclaimed. “I think it went really well!”

“You did really well.” The stage director said. “I think our final number was almost four hundred-“

“AHHHH!” Someone tackled Tori, lifting her off of the ground and spinning her around.

She screamed, hitting back at the arms. “HYUNJIN! STOP IT!”

He set her down, laughing as she tried to catch her balance. “What?”

“I almost had a heart attack.” She gasped. “What are you doing here? What are all of you doing here?”

The rest of the group walked up on the stage, Felix holding a massive bouquet of blue roses.

“We had to come celebrate with you.” Chan said. “We’ve been watching from backstage the entire time.”

“You have?” Tori grinned, taking the bouquet from Felix. It was as big as her entire torso, but she kind of loved it. “What did you think?”

“Well, we heard the song this morning.” Jisung said. “So generally disappointing.”

“Ignore him.” Minho shook his head. “The choreography was really nice. It was cool to see all of it.”

“It was super cute.” Seungmin did a little imitation of her dance. “Really going to fit well in Stray Kids concerts.”

“Yah, you guys aren’t being very supportive.” Tori crossed her arms.

“Noona, you did so good.” Jeongin wrapped an arm around her waist, careful not to squish her flowers. “The song is beautiful and the dance is awesome and you look-“

“Would you stop sucking up to her.” Changbin complained. “We get it, she liked you the best.”

“I do like him the best.” Tori hugged the maknae. He just smiled and leaned into her side. He was way too tall now, but the difference was slightly made up by her heels.

“I just can’t believe you actually wore that outfit on stage.” Felix looked her up and down. “I kinda thought it was just a one-off for the music video.”

Tori looked down at her outfit. “You thought I was given a baby blue mini dress covered in fluffy pompoms and I wasn’t going to wear it on stage? Do you even know me?”

“Can you even dance in that thing?” Hyunjin poked it. “You only wore it for the acoustic stage.”

“I’m wearing it to Music Bank tomorrow.” Tori gave a little spin. “Why? Do you not like it?”

“You look really nice.” Changbin said.

“I mean…we can’t really see you behind that monstrosity of a dress.” Jisung noted.

Tori shook her head with a smile. “You guys are just upset that you couldn’t pull this off.”

“I don’t know how we lived without wearing pompom dresses.” Felix deadpanned.

Minho checked his imaginary watch. “As cool as the dress is, do you want to go get changed so we can take you out for dinner?”

“What, I can’t wear this to the restaurant?” She passed her flowers to Jeongin.

“It’s a fire hazard.” Seungmin told her.

“Urgh, fine.” Tori groaned. “I’ll go.”

“Great, we’ll go get our stuff.” Felix said. “Meet you at the car.”

They all started to walk off, Tori lagging behind to hand her mic pack to the stage director. When she reached the stairs to leave the stage, Chan was the only one standing there.

“Don’t you have to go get your stuff?” She asked.

He held up a hand. “I figured I’d make sure you made it down the stairs safely.”

Tori smiled, taking his hand and navigating the six steps on her heels.

“You did really good today.” Chan said as soon as she was down, starting to walk with her.

“Thank you.” She grinned. “And I’m so glad you guys came. I know you’re all tired too.”

“We weren’t going to miss it.” Chan promised.

“And…I know I already said thank you, but I can’t thank you enough for lending me the song. I think the fans really liked it. It’ll probably get a lot of attention on our next album.”

“Lending you the song?” Chan looked at her quizzically. “What are you talking about? It’s yours.”

“It’s a Stray Kids song.” Tori protested. “I was just using the preview. You can’t let the fans down and just waste it on me.”

“I’m not wasting it on you.” He shook his head. “It suits you. And since your first song is so darn good, I know that your full album will be even better.”

“My full album!” She exclaimed. “Are you kidding? It took me forever to produce one song.”

“So? However long it takes, I have a feeling this song is going to be better for you than it ever could have been for us.”

“Really?” Tori looked down at her dress, playing with one of the pompoms. “I appreciate that.”

“I really mean it.” Chan nodded. “Besides, I….uh…I wrote it for you anyways.”

“You did?”

“Yeah. A while ago.” He sighed. “So I figure you should have it. But now you have to work hard and make sure it has an amazing album to go on.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself.” Tori shook her head. “I still have to survive solo promotions.”

“You can do it.” Chan encouraged. “I know you can.”

“Thanks.” She said, for what felt like the hundredth time that day. “So…where are you guys taking me for dinner? Chicken? Barbeque?”

“I think a salad bar.” Chan winked. “We don’t want you to get sick for your show tomorrow.”

“Yah! I worked hard, I deserve chicken!”

[ravs6709]

Of Distant Dreams (That Can't Come True)- Lee Jihye/Na Bori

Read on ao3 here

Spoilers for the epilogue! Takes place throughout the group regression. We barely get to see any of Na Bori in canon, but I still have a lot of feels for Jihye's relationship with her. So many feels in fact, that I actually wrote something that isn't mainly fluff

It's a little messy, but it's not my usual style, so I'm still pretty proud of it

Warnings: Angst, unhappy ending (just to be clear, NBR doesn't die again, but the two of them separate), NBR's death is mentioned a lot (so choking warning), nightmares, mention of skipping meals, ask for other warnings

•~•~•~•~•~•

"Jihye-yah!" The door to Taepung Girls' broadcasting studio slammed open.

Na Bori ran through the entrance, panting. "Jihye-yah, what's going on?" Then she froze, her gaze falling on Han Sooyoung. "Who is this person?"

Lee Jihye noticed that Han Sooyoung looked back and forth between the two girls. Then she stared at Na Bori, and Lee Jihye wondered if she knew who Na Bori was. She could, considering that she'd read the beginning of Ways of Survival. Han Sooyoung may not have known much, but based on the way her eyes widened, she must have known enough. She told Lee Jihye that she'd move on ahead to the other areas, along with some instructions.

"Bori-yah, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in the classroom?" Lee Jihye tried to keep her voice neutral, but the overwhelming relief she felt caused her to sound breathy instead. She knew that Na Bori would survive this time, she'd made sure of it, but actually seeing her friend alive … she wanted to cry. She did it. Na Bori didn't die this time.

"I should be asking you that question," Na Bori said, too overwhelmed by what was going on to notice the look on Lee Jihye's face. "Everything that's been going on… the dokkaebi, all the insect eggs, coins and some kind of scenario. You know how that apocalyptist Selena Kim said there was going to be an apocalypse, is this it? And then you came up to me and you…" she took the box out of her pocket. "You gave me this. Jihye, what's going on?"

Lee Jihye didn't know what to say. How was she supposed to tell her that the Lee Jihye she knew no longer existed? That she was from a different worldline, and that she'd killed Na Bori in order to survive? That she has come to this worldline so she could save someone? Sometimes it was a struggle to even look at her, when all she could see was the person that she'd choked to death.

"Bori-yah, it'll be alright," she said, before wincing.

⸢"Jihye-yah, it'll be alright,"⸥ Na Bori had told her.

She took a deep breath, then slowly exhaled. Then she did it again. "I'll explain everything to you later." How was Master able to do this? How was he able to regress and then look into the eyes of the people he'd cared for, and pretend that everything was okay? How was he able to do this for every regression that he'd lived? "I'll make sure you'll be okay."

Na Bori was not a person who was easily scared, she was probably one of the most fearless people that Lee Jihye knew. But at that moment, she looked terrified. She wanted to hold her tight and whisper assurances, but she couldn't do that. 

"Jihye… please tell me what's going on. You've been acting weird for the past month, and now all this is happening. I'll help you with whatever you're doing. Please crybaby, just tell me."

Lee Jihye wiped her eyes, not realizing that she'd been crying. "That scenario that everyone received earlier," she began. "It's the beginning of something awful. But me and many of the others, we're going to help everyone and clear the scenarios. It'll be okay."

"Was that unnie who left one of the people you know?"

She nodded.

"Will you be staying here?"

She froze. "I'll be here for a little bit, but I'll be gone in a few hours."

She wanted to stay with Na Bori, hold her in her arms while Na Bori would lovingly call her 'crybaby', but she couldn't. She had the scenarios to clear, and this wasn't her Na Bori. The Na Bori from your regression is dead, she reminded herself. It was a painful thought, but enough to get her to concentrate on what was important.

The two of them stayed in the broadcasting room as Lee Jihye awaited the second scenario. She gave out more instructions, advising them to not act rashly, and that everything would be okay. Na Bori sat there silently, and she could feel her gaze on her  but she wasn't able to look back.

After she was finished, she picked up her bag and sword.

"Are you leaving now?" Na Bori asked.

She nodded. "I have to go meet up with the others."

"Okay." And that was it. Except Na Bori walked closer and closer , and Lee Jihye closed her eyes, unable to look at her. A pair of lips pressed against her cheek. "Come back soon, okay?"

The next few seconds were a blur. She had no idea if she'd spoken or merely nodded, before exiting the room. What she did know was that Na Bori had whispered 'I love you, Jihye-yah' and then Lee Jihye was running. Her footsteps were loud, her eyes burning, breaths heavy, and heart pounding. Even then, those four words continuously echoed in her mind, unable to be drowned out.

Once she was no longer able to keep on running, she fell to her knees and cried.

•~•~•~•~•~•

Lee Jihye pulled out a piece of paper to write on. As she wrote, she rested her other hand against her mouth to hide her smile. She reached over to her side and passed the note to Na Bori, careful to make sure that the teacher wouldn't see. Pretending to pay attention to the lesson, she looked at Na Bori, who was reading the note.

Na Bori smiled softly, her eyes sparkling in the evening light. Lee Jihye couldn't help but stare, because she was so beautiful. It'd only been recently since she'd realized that her feelings for her friend were romantic, and ever since, she'd been finding herself staring a lot more often. It probably wasn't a good idea to be staring so much. But every time she saw Na Bori smile at her, the way that their fingers would brush against each other more often, she couldn't help but wonder if her feelings might actually be reciprocated.

A finger tapped her arm, and Lee Jihye blinked, not realizing that Na Bori had already written back. 

'Hey, let's go to the movies tomorrow for lunch,' the note read.

Lee Jihye wrote a reply, then passed the note back. The smile on Na Bori's face was even wider now, and-

There was a flash of light. When it faded, there was a ball of fluff the size of her head with cute black eyes and a mischievous smile. A dokkaebi.

No. Lee Jihye rose to her feet, her chair slamming into the desk behind her. She knew what this was. No. No no no. Not this again.

She ignored the dokkaebi as it spoke, and stood next to Na Bori. "I'll protect you this time," she whispered. "I won't let you die."

She grabbed her arm and the two of them were running around the classroom, ignoring the protests from her teacher. The dokkaebi seemed confused, but it continued on with its speech. She just needed to find something, anything that would allow for the two of them to survive. Hadn't there been an ant problem in the classroom recently? She just needed to find two of them, so they could kill them and clear the first scenario. She already knew how this scenario was going to end, she'd gone through it dozens of times in her head. This time, things would be different.

Except… there were no insects in the classroom, not a single one.

"Jihye!"

She whirled around and saw Na Bori in front of her, gripping a chair that one of her classmates was now using as a weapon. Right. Most of her classmates would try to escape the classroom, only to find a barrier that prevented them from leaving. They'd pound on the doors and hope for a miracle. Some would return to their seats because the teacher instructed it, the teacher would try and assure everyone that everything would be fine, except it wouldn't be. However, some would panic after reading the clear conditions, and they'd try and kill someone so they could live. In the end though, all of them would die, even Na Bori.

This time, we'll survive together, Bori-yah .

Lee Jihye helped Na Bori, and with their combined strength, they shoved the student back, and set the chair down.

"Stay back!" She warned.

The student's eyes were filled with fear, but slowly, she began to back away. Lee Jihye scanned the classroom again, but there was nothing. The countdown was almost up. What was she supposed to do? She could murder one of her classmates, they'd die anyway. She'd ruthlessly killed other people in the later scenarios without hesitation. But still, the thought made her nauseous, maybe it was because these people were ones that she knew . She'd been friends with some of them.

Warm hands gripped her own, and guided them to wrap around a neck.

"Kill me, Jihye-yah," Na Bori said calmly, as the head of one of her classmates' exploded.

"No," she replied. "No! I won't! I won't do it!" She tried to move her hands, but Na Bori pressed down harder, drawing out a cough.

"Jihye-yah, it'll be alright," she rasped. "You must live."

No. No no nonono no! She was stronger now, she could get through this, she would take her hands off of Na Bori's neck and they'd find a way to live, even as more and more of the bodies around her fell, blood gushing.

"You should be allowed to live too!" She screamed, her eyes burned with tears. "You shouldn't have to be the one to make this sacrifice!"

"Please crybaby, live." Somehow, Na Bori pressed down even harder.

Why couldn't she… Why couldn't she find the strength to overpower her? Why couldn't she save her friend just one time? (Distantly, she knew that if she didn't make the kill, she'd die too).

Then, with the last of her breath, she rasped out those haunting words. "I love you, Jihye-yah."

Her body went limp in her hands.

Lee Jihye jolted awake. She wasn't in Taepung Girls' High School, but was underground in a subway station. It was just another nightmare. That same damned memory replayed over and over again.

But why did it always feel so real? Her hands were in front of her, fingers and wrist bent as if she'd actually been choking someone. And she could see the face of Na Bori, her eyes red as she choked. Her hands trembled, but were unable to move.

She knew that this wasn't real, but it still took at least five minutes until the image of Na Bori disappeared, and the phantom weight on her hands was released.

[The constellation 'Maritime War God' would like to assure you that your friend is safe.]

"Thanks, General-nim," she murmured.

It might not have meant that much, but it eased the urge to run back to Na Bori and make sure that she was alright. But she was safe, she was alive.

Lee Jihye stood up and began to walk around through the tunnels. She wanted to run, but it was late at night and she didn't want to wake up other people who were sleeping. She aimlessly wandered, before she saw a man with a black coat sitting against a wall, tending to his sword.

"You should be sleeping, Lee Jihye," Yoo Joonghyuk said, not looking up at her.

"I know, Master," she replied, before sitting down next to him. She stared at the wall in front of her. "How do you do this every regression?"

In this regression, she hadn't opened up to him that much, but he knew her in the previous ones, so he knew what she was referring to. 

"I kept my distance from the people I cared about," he said. "If I didn't become too close to them, then their deaths wouldn't bother me as much."

Lee Jihye knew that. When he'd first met her, he rescued her, gave her a sword, then told her to join him. He helped her survive, but they didn't spend that much time talking, unless it was about the upcoming scenario. He wasn't completely closed off, he often helped her train her skills. But he'd locked his heart away and pretended that he didn't know her.

But she knew that she couldn't do that. She couldn't just pretend that nothing had happened, and it was even harder to do when she was with Na Bori.

"It's difficult, and it doesn't become easier," he continued. "I was only able to look forward. My only goal was clearing the scenarios, that was all I focused on. I'm sorry that I can't tell you something more useful than that."

His hand rested on her back, gently rubbing circles. The parental gesture felt a little odd, coming from him. While she'd heard from Kim Dokja that he'd had a child in the past (meaning, he knew how to be a parent), Master rarely ever acted this gently except to his sister, Yoo Mia. He might not have much advice for her, but he understood her pain, he tried to help, and it did help, even if only a little bit.

She shifted to lay down. She knew she wouldn't fall back asleep easily, but it was better than getting no rest. Master said nothing, he just wordlessly took off his jacket and draped it over her. Sleep didn't come easy, but she didn't have any more nightmares for the remainder of the night.

•~•~•~•~•~•

With all the knowledge that their group had, the scenarios were cleared rapidly. The dokkaebi weren't prepared, so they had more downtime while they waited for the next scenario to be prepared. Often, Lee Jihye went to check on Na Bori, who had joined together with the rest of her classmates. They'd talked a few times, but since they were always in a group, they weren't able to talk about certain subjects. (She could see that Na Bori really wanted to ask her for answers. But she wasn't ready to give them to her just yet, not when looking at her was still so painful).

Of course, Lee Jihye couldn't hold off on having that conversation forever. She'd been going on one of her runs when a second pair of footsteps joined her. She turned to see who it was, surprised to see that it was Na Bori.

"It's been a while since we were able to run like this, Jihye-yah," she said, voice calm, but Lee Jihye could sense something dangerous in her tone.

"It has," she agreed, not knowing what else to say. 

"You know, you could have told me that you were one of those regressors, right? I would've kept it a secret if you needed me to."

She sounded too calm about it, as if she didn't fully grasp what it meant to regress.

Lee Jihye took a deep breath. She had to tell her now. "I'm not the Lee Jihye that you know. She won't ever be coming back."

As she expected, Na Bori froze mid-step, stumbling. Lee Jihye instinctively moved to catch her, but once she noticed their proximity, she backed away.

"Isn't regression like time travel?" Na Bori asked, not saying anything about Lee Jihye suddenly moving away. "It's obvious that you've gone through the scenarios before, and then something bad must have happened, so you and all those people you were with time traveled back to fix everything."

"That's not how it works."

"Then tell me how it works, Lee Jihye! How am I supposed to understand if you don't explain?"

"This world is just one of thousands- maybe millions or billions. Regression is like time travel, but it's not. I'm not from this worldline, my consciousness has just been transported here. The Lee Jihye you know won't be coming back."

Na Bori looked up at her, serious. "And how long have you been here?"

"A month before the scenarios."

"Were your childhood memories different from mine? In your worldline, were we not best friends? Were we not on the track team together? Did I not ever call you a crybaby?"

"All those things did happen. Bu-"

"Then you're still the same person that I know and love. You've changed, but I'm willing to get to know those parts of you. You're always going to be you." Na Bori was shorter than Lee Jihye, but at that moment, she stood so much taller. 

It was like when Lee Jihye was teased for crying when she was younger, and Na Bori told the others off. She was physically weaker, but she had always been stronger. Lee Jihye couldn't handle it.

"When I'm done saving this world, I'm leaving!" She blurted. "I'll be going back to my worldline and you'll never be able to see me again!"

She was crying again , she'd been doing a lot of that recently. Na Bori looked almost broken from her words, her lips trembling, skin pale, and eyes wide. She took a step closer, and Lee Jihye was too shocked to step back. Na Bori cupped her face and wiped away her tears.

"Tell me, crybaby, did something happen to me in your worldline? You're not good at hiding your emotions, did you think I wouldn't notice that ever since you've come here, you flinch every time you look into my eyes or I call you crybaby? Is that why you refuse to skip class with me? Is that why even now, you're still trying to run away?"

Yes! She wanted to scream. "In my worldline, you died in the first scenario," she whispered. "I killed you. I had to live without you for years, and I don't know what to do with myself now that you're right here in front of me."

"I don't blame you for what you've done," Na Bori said, even though she looked almost horrified. "You saved my life this time."

Of course you don't blame me, you told me to kill you. I saved you here, but I couldn't save you in my world.

"When the scenarios are over, before you leave, I want the two of us to have a full day to ourselves, okay?" Na Bori said. "A good day for you to remember. I'm sure she'd want that for you, a day for you to relax and just live ."

⸢"You must live, "⸥ Na Bori had told her on that day.

Lee Jihye slowly nodded. "She would want that."

Na Bori's hand moved from her face to her hand, and squeezed it gently. For once, Lee Jihye allowed for that little bit of physical contact again, and squeezed back.

•~•~•~•~•~•

While the scenarios were a lot easier compared to the first time, it didn't mean that they weren't difficult. Lives were still lost, and there were several close calls for the members of Kim Dokja's Company. As the difficulty began to ramp up more and more, Lee Jihye began to have nightmares that were slightly different from the ones that she'd normally get.

Each one started off differently. Sometimes she was sitting with Na Bori, before one of the dokkaebi created a sub-scenario that was difficult to clear. Sometimes she was fighting with her family, and an outer god would be summoned. Other times, she'd go to Taepung Girls' High School, and would receive the bad news from one of the people in Na Bori's group.

Each one of those nightmares had one thing in common: Na Bori's death. Lee Jihye had managed to save her from dying in the first scenario, but what if she died a different way? What if Lee Jihye wasn't there to protect her? What if she was, but still wasn't strong enough to save her?

Her hands would tremble not unlike they had when she was the one to kill her friend. On one of those nights, when the imagery was particularly graphic, she got up and sought out Na Bori. Her sponsor told her that Na Bori was safe, and realistically, she knew that, but she needed to see that she was okay. Just to see her once, even if it was just her sleeping figure.

As she entered the building where their group was staying, Lee Jihye enabled Ghost Walk so she wouldn't wake anyone up. It didn't take long to find Na Bori. She stood there and watched the rise and fall of her chest, each breath grounding her to reality. She was alive, she was safe.

After a few minutes, Lee Jihye realized what exactly she'd been doing. She turned to leave, then noticed Na Bori shifting, before sitting up.

"Jihye, is that you?" She whispered.

Lee Jihye paused, embarrassed at getting caught. "Y-yeah."

"Is everything alright?"

"I'm fine," she lied. "I'll leave now."

"Wait. You've come all the way here, let's go outside for a little bit."

Lee Jihye opened her mouth to say no, that it was fine, but Na Bori was already getting up. She took her hand and led her outside so they could sit down.

"Crybaby," Na Bori murmured. "Did you have a nightmare?"

Lee Jihye nodded slowly. To anyone else, she might not have said anything. But Na Bori had already seen her when she was weak, so she knew she could tell her. "I dreamed that you died again."

"Well, I'm right here. So there's no reason to cry."

Lee Jihye looked down. Na Bori was here, but when it was time to go back to her own worldline, she'd no longer be there.

"Do you want to hold my hand or something? Something to ground you?"

What she wanted was to hold her tight, hide away from all the scenarios. But was it right? It was Na Bori, but not her Na Bori. Her intention was to save Na Bori, that was all she had to do. She couldn't let herself get too close. It was too dangerous, she'd lose sight of everything that she'd been living for over four years.

"I can't. I…" she trailed off, not knowing what to say. In so many worldlines, the two of them were never able to get together because of the first scenario. In this one, they finally managed to both survive, except even now, they'd never be able to have a happy ending together.

"You loved her, didn't you?" she asked. "The same way I love you."

Lee Jihye loved her so much, it hurt. "...I still do." Even years after her death, Lee Jihye continued to love her just as fiercely as she did in the past.

"I know that you said that you'll leave eventually, but shouldn't we make the time we have left memorable? If you need me, I'll help, I want to help you." Her hand moved, and rested next to Lee Jihye's- close but not enough to touch.

It was a deliberate movement, one that gave Lee Jihye the choice of whether she would accept the contact or not? It'd help, it'd relieve some of her stress, knowing that Na Bori was here. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to stay just this once…

Before she could back down, Lee Jihye rested her hand on top of Na Bori's. She layed down and closed her eyes, hoping to commit the feel of the warm hand to memory.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Lee Jihye thought that the end of this regression would end more happily. They'd managed to save the world once more, but they were unable to save Kim Dokja- the one who they'd all wanted to save.

His soul had scattered across thousands- countless worldlines, and Lee Jihye had no idea what to do. The days that went by were a blur, she hardly ate or slept. All she could think about was Kim Dokja's frail body, just laying there.

"Jihye-yah."

Since they failed, what was going to happen now?

"Jihye-yah."

Was that all? Was it over?

"Lee Jihye!" Na Bori's panicked voice brought her out of her thoughts.

"Oh, Bori-yah, were you saying something?"

"Jihye please, you need to take care of yourself. You've skipping meals, haven't you?"

"I'm not hungry," Lee Jihye said. 

"I know I don't understand everything about the guy you wanted to save, only that he meant a lot to you. But would he want you to be like this?"

"It's not like I ever wanted him to sacrifice his f*cking life over and over again! I didn't ask for anyone to sacrifice their life for me!" 

Her throat was hoarse from the lack of use, and the screaming didn't help at all. But what was she supposed to do? Not one, but two people decided that they'd sacrifice their lives. Kim Dokja, and Na Bori from her regression. But all Lee Jihye wanted was to live the rest of her life with the people she loved. Why were they the ones who had to make all the sacrifices?

Na Bori didn't say anything, and while she hadn't done anything, she looked a little guilty.

"I know it wasn't you who did what she did. You're her, but you're still different from her. It's just…" Lee Jihye trailed off.

"Stupid," Na Bori muttered. "I'm here to comfort you and you're comforting me. And I think that… nevermind. You're leaving tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah…" In just one day, she'd be leaving and she'd be going back to her own worldline. She'd be going back to a world where she wouldn't be able to see Kim Dokja, but she also wouldn't be able to see Na Bori again.

But maybe it was for the better. This Na Bori had her own life to live, just like Lee Jihye had hers. She'd love to stay with this Na Bori, but how much of it was to stay with her best friend, compared to the idea of having a Na Bori? She was Na Bori, with all the same memories that the one that she knew had, but they weren't the same, no matter how much she wanted to think otherwise. Not for the first time, she reminded herself that the Na Bori she knew was dead.

"Jihye-yah." 

Lee Jihye blinked, and saw that Na Bori had food with her. She recognized that it was her favourite- and it'd been a long time since she'd last been able to have it. Maybe she was a little hungry, though she wasn't sure if she'd be able to eat so much.

She opened her mouth to say something about that, but was surprised when a spoon was put into her mouth.

"Remember when I got sick, and you insisted on feeding me soup even though I refused, and then eventually you just fed me while I was in the middle of arguing?" Na Bori asked with a smile.

"I remember that." Lee Jihye smiled back at her. It was strange, speaking about memories that happened with a different version of the person. It made her feel a little guilty, it felt wrong to be doing this. "The way you gaped at me was hilarious."

Her smile must have seemed a little fake (it wasn't, but it was), because Na Bori didn't say anything after that. The two of them sat in silence, Lee Jihye not in the mood to say much, and Na Bori having recognized it. She just wordlessly continued to feed her, until she could no longer eat anymore.

"Is there anywhere you want to go?" Na Bori asked.

She tried to think of a place, but couldn't think of any. But knowing that this was the last day she could spend with Na Bori, she suggested, "Let's just take a walk."

She nodded, and they went outside and walked around the streets of Seoul. Lee Jihye was still used to the sight of destruction, but in this regression, the damage wasn't so bad. With the huge failure looming, it was vaguely reassuring to see that at least this time, they were able to save thousands and millions of lives.

They passed by a PC Bang, and Na Bori suggested that they go inside. Out of the two of them, it was Lee Jihye who played more video games, though Na Bori could get quite competitive. Lee Jihye won more games, but that was because she had more experience. It felt almost like the days before the scenarios, and she wasn't sure how to feel about that. After that, they walked around some more before going to watch a movie. Lee Jihye already cried easily when it came to movies, but with everything that went on, it was impossible to hold them back.

Na Bori turned to her, a teasing smile on her face, similar to the moment when Lee Jihye had realized her feelings. Lee Jihye had been crying, Na Bori lovingly teased her, and then she had the realization that oh, she truly wished that she could live the rest of her life like this, with her.

But now, it was a dream that was so far out of reach. In one day, she was going to leave the world behind. Even after the movie was over, she couldn't stop crying. Na Bori turned to her, her hand instinctively moving towards her face, before she realized what was going on and instead taking out a tissue.

"The movie wasn't that sad, crybaby. The one we watched right before the scenarios was way more emotional."

It wasn't just the movie that left her so emotional, it was everything else. But there was another thing that bothered her. 

"I'm not… I'm not the Lee Jihye you know," she said. "I'm not her."

"What are you talking about? Jihye-yah is Jihye-yah."

"But I'm not her. You keep treating me as if we're the same person. Stop treating me like her. I'm not a replacement."

It was projection, and her being unable to deal with her own feelings that were causing her to lash out, she knew that. Lee Jihye had to constantly remind herself that the two Na Boris she knew weren't the same, even if it was easy to fall back into their old dynamic. She had to remind herself not to get too attached, because she was going to leave. She had to remind herself that they weren't the same, because doing so would betray the memories of the Na Bori that she knew. And Lee Jihye was frustrated.

There was so much that she wanted to say, but she couldn't figure out what to say. She wanted to scream and shout, letting everything that had been building up for all this time loose. "You're not going to have her back, ever. The two of us… the two of us aren't destined to be with the one we love." Na Bori looked upset at that, and opened her mouth, but Lee Jihye didn't think she was able to take what would be said next.

"Sorry Bori," Lee Jihye said. "It was fun being with you, but I'm not feeling well."

They were still supposed to go eat dinner together, but she lost her appetite. She started to leave, only to feel her arm tugged as she spun around.

"Listen Jihye," Na Bori said, looking up at her. "I understand that looking at me reminds you of her. And maybe you are right, you're not the Lee Jihye who has been with me for sixteen years. You're someone who learned to fight with a sword, and you're brilliant with it. But does that really mean that you're a completely different person? The Lee Jihye I knew always loved swords, whenever we played fighting games, she always gravitated to playing any woman who owned a sword. So is it that surprising that you now own a sword too?

"You've experienced so many things that have changed you, but in the end, you're still Lee Jihye . You're strong and sweet, you hate showing weaknesses but you're a huge crybaby. I haven't known you for sixteen years, but I've known you long enough to know that you're Lee Jihye. And if even that much had changed, I'm wi- I would be willing to get to know you. I know it's worse for you, because you had to kill her, and now see her face and hear her voice from me. But things have gone differently this round compared to the other rounds, right? I'm different. With time, you'd eventually have been able to treat me differently, and accept that I am her, but still get to know the differences.

"Jihye-yah. If we… if we were given the opportunity, if we weren't going to leave each other, would you have given us a chance?"

Lee Jihye blinked. She knew that Na Bori would have something to say, but she didn't expect this much. "I think… I think that I would have liked to."

She'd been coming to terms that saving Na Bori this time wouldn't erase what had happened in the past. But she didn't have to erase it, that memory was something that would never be erased. Instead, she could have created new ones. It was so unfortunate that all those possibilities wouldn't be able to happen in this world.

Lee Jihye looked up at the evening sky, and hoped that in at least one of the other worldlines, there was a Lee Jihye and Na Bori who could have their happy ending.

•~•~•~•~•~•

And then finally, the day had come for her and the others to leave. The Ark was set up for them to board, and many of the people who had joined the Group Regression had already climbed on board. She'd already told Na Bori goodbye, because she didn't think she'd be able to say goodbye at the last moment. But still, she couldn't help but look back and seek her out, to take in the sight of figure one last time.

With a deep breath, she turned and started going towards the Ark again. When she took a step, she heard a cry for her name.

"Jihye, wait!"

Lee Jihye stopped and turned around, and Na Bori nearly crashed into her.

"I'm sorry, this is selfish, but do you really have to go back? Can't you stay?"

She did want to stay, it would have been nice to stay with Na Bori and live out the rest of her life in this worldline. But she had a family that she'd chosen, and she'd already decided that she was going to stay with them. She remembered that a little while ago, Jung Heewon had told her that she was allowed to stay, if she wished, but Lee Jihye knew that there was no point.

"I asked you what you'd do if we were given an opportunity, but this could be it," Na Bori continued, her voice almost frantic. Her bright eyes gleamed with tears. "Or, I could come with you. I don't want to force you to leave your family behind. I could get to know them, and we could all live our lives toge-"

"Bori-yah," Lee Jihye interrupted, placing her hands on her friend's cheeks. "You have your own life to live here. Bori-yah, it'll be alright, okay?"

"Then let me… let me kiss you, I want to be able to know how it feels, even if just once."

It took a second to process the words, and Na Bori looked at her, waiting to see her reaction. With her hands on Na Bori, all she had to do was lean forward for their lips to meet. Lee Jihye had imagined this moment a lot, she'd wished that before Na Bori had died, that she'd mustered the courage to confess. Sometimes in her nightmares, she imagined the feeling of lips on hers, before the body in front of her would end unable to breathe and then fall over.

The kiss was slow and tight and desperate, their arms wrapped around each other and squeezed, both unwilling to let go, so they could let this moment last just a little longer. It was only until Na Bori had gasped for a breath that Lee Jihye backed away, half out of fear that the kiss was just another one of her nightmares. But Na Bori was still standing there, breathing in and out, her lips pink, and Lee Jihye could feel her own lips tingling.

"I love you, Bori-yah," she whispered.

"I love you too, Jihye-yah," came the reply.

"Please live on for me, okay?" She asked, taking Na Bori's hand in between hers.

"Okay. I'll do it for you."

Lee Jihye stared at her for the last time, she stared until she could see the image of her when she closed her eyes. She imagined the feel of her, the sound of her voice, her scent and even her taste, she committed it all to memory.

"Goodbye." Their hands separated, and Lee Jihye once again started walking towards the Ark.

She could feel her heart pounding in her chest, and she already knew that this moment would be added to her nightmares, of having Na Bori and still managing to lose her again.

•~•~•~•~•~•

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[karahalloway]

Fanfic Ask Game 💖 👨‍👧‍👧 🌈 (Sleepless) 🤔🌝💻💭

Thanks so much for the ask @petiteboheme!

💖 What do you like most about your own writing? Right, I hope this doesn't come across as pretentious or self-aggrandising (my new word of the day! lol) but I like that my writing is a good mix of humour and realism (this is what I am aiming for, anyway, and based on the feedback I've received, I seem to be hitting the mark!)

👨‍👧‍👧 Do you tell people in real life that you write fic? 

Hell no! 😅 People I know in real life do not need to know I write smutty fanfic!

That said, there are people in my life who know that I write, like my husband (bit hard to hide from him the fact that I spend several hours per week slaving away in front of my laptop; plus, I keep asking him random questions for things I need for particular chapters, so he knows what I'm up to), and I've told my sister (because she used to write as well, and we actually collaborated together a few times in the past).

🌈 What inspired you to write Sleepless in New York?

I don't remember what inspired me, exactly... But at some point last year, I started toying around with an idea of Drake meeting Harper by himself while the guys were in New York for Chris' bachelor party and then lo and behold! @aussiegurl1234 publishes a (then) one-shot called The Sparrow exploring exactly this situation (which later turned into Golden Boy)😅 So she kinda beat me to the punch lol.

But, my HC remained, and after marinating it for a good few months (I actually came up with the basic outline of the dive bar chapter first - I knew Harper would get into some kind of kerfuffle with some drunken pervs and Drake would step in to save her), I finally started writing. And everything else (the arrival, the subway, the karaoke) came on the fly.

And even the dive bar chapter ended up turning out rather different than I had imagined it originally - I had originally thought that Drake would take the guy(s) 'round the back and beat them up, but when I actually wrote it out, it didn't feel right, so he just sent them packing verbally - but his quip about having "to make it seem like I wasn't actually here for her. Otherwise, we'd be going 'round the back, and taking on four guys by the dumpster was definitely not on my list of things to do tonight" is a nod to this original iteration 😇

🤔 What is the hardest part of writing fic?

The writing part 🤣

Don't get me wrong - I love writing! But the more I move away from canon, the more new ideas I have, but actually getting the ideas organised into a coherent form on paper is sometimes quite hard (because I don't have the safety-net / framework of canon to guide me).

For instance, it happens a lot that I get a random hit of inspo about a part of a conversation (a few lines usually) that I then need to figure out how to work into the rest of the conversation; not to mention how to arrive and then wrap up that whole conversation!

🌝 Who is one character you haven’t yet written for that you would like to?

Freya.

Your request to explore her a bit more got me mega intrigued, so on my list in the near future is a one-shot written from Freya's perspective that will explore in more detail the day she met Drake.

And, I have finally found an FC for her, so I'll be able to put together the moodboard for the chapter that I had in my head 🤗 (which was actually one of the things that's been delaying the writing 😅)

💻 Do you do research for your fics? What’s the deepest dive you’ve done? Oh yah! I research all the time! 🤓 See here and here.

But the deepest dive I've done to date is researching Italian for the conversation that Drake has with the pervy Italian-Americans in the dive bar in Sleepless. Because not only did I have to write the conversation in Italian - but three different versions of Italian (Italian-American, 'standard' Italian, and Corsican vernacular - because I like to make my own life difficult 😅)!

Because - unbenownst to me when I started - this scene required several hours of research on YouTube (listening to native Italians explain the differences between the different Italian regional dialects), looking at online slang dictionaries for Italian-American (and comparing to 'standard' Italian vocab/slang) and then coming up with Drake's own vernacular (combination or 'standard' Italian and Corsican pronounciation).

And bear in mind that I do not speak Italian...at all! Nor can I seem to be able to wrap my head around it because even though I speak French, I find Italian to be so different in terms of spelling and grammar that I have a really hard time making heads or tails of it!

💭 What is a headcanon you have about your own work?

I don't think I say this specifically anywhere, but I HC that the story takes place in 2021 (because that is when I started writing the story - I actually wrote Chapter 1 of (Un)Common Attraction in Nov/Dec of 2020, but then I left it for a while and picked it back up in Jan/Feb of 2021).

Obviously an alternative 2021 (because there is no Covid) 😅 but whenever I mention dates (in conversation or in phone screen shots) I am using dates from 2021.

If anyone has any other burning questions they'd like to ask, the full list of questions is available here.