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HES NOT MY BOYFRIEND BITE ME
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Barbarian bakugo x princess! Reader
Your parents arranged you to the brash and rude prince of the barbarians to save their own skin. CHAPTER TWO HERE
warnings and stuff inside of the story: talks of virginity, talks of a virginity check (its accurate to the time period ok?) a/n should I make this a series? I think it’d be fun but idk ur rich btw so just like there’s rich stuff.
THE FULL VERSION IS OUTTT, truely ask and you shall receive. Anyways this is the full edited and lengthened part one I hope it’s better then the sneak peak I gave you guys
AGED UP
Mitsuki leaned back, her piercing gaze fixed on your parents. "So, what do you say? You give us your daughter, and we'll form an alliance," she proposed, pausing for their response. "It would offer protection from the Todoroki kingdom Flamoria, no?" The blonde woman smiled at your father, trying to sway him.
Flamoria had a habit of attacking your home kingdom, however in recent years the bakugos have managed to not only defeat the todorokis but make their kingdom subservient to them.
Your mother hesitated. "I mean, I dunno…"
"We'll do it," he interrupted, cutting off your mother.
"Huh?!" Your mother turned to him, shock evident on her face.
"Perfect. Sign here," Mitsuki said smoothly, handing them a piece of paper which already had both mitsuki and masarus names written down. It was a betrothal agreement, arranging the marriage between you and her hot-tempered son, Bakugo.
Your father reached for the pen, the gravity of the situation pressing down on him. "This will secure our safety and ensure a powerful ally," he murmured, almost convincing himself as much as anyone else.
"But our daughter…" your mother started, her voice filled with concern and disbelief. She looked at Mitsuki, then back at your father, torn between the political necessity and the love for her child.
"We don't have a choice," your father replied firmly, signing the paper. "This alliance is crucial for our kingdom's survival. The Empyrean empire is strong.”
Mitsuki's smile widened as she took the signed document. "Excellent. You won't regret this. Bakugo will make a fine husband, many heirs will come from this, she is a virgin right?” The blonde asks “we can get her checked for it, *name* was very sheltered growing up so we can assure you she’s a virgin.” Your father explains, leaning back in his own squeaky wooden chair. His gaze turns to your mother, who seems distraught about marrying off her child to the barbarian prince. Someone famous for being a violent person.
at 17 years old bakugo had brought back the head of a powerful tribe leader and put it on a stick for everyone to see, at 18 years old he had gathered a small army of men and defeated the midoriya kingdom and had a bloody cloak from the one of the dead soilders to prove it. Then at 20 years old bakugo had forced izuku, the Feywood king to surrender his crown. Which put feywood in the empyrean empire. No one knows where izuku midoriya currently is, all the people know is that he was last scene getting dragged by his green locks by bakugo and was never seen again.
Later on
“YOU ARRANGED ME TO WHO!?” You screamed, staring at your parents in complete horror. How could they do this to you? You make one wrong move and your own husband would order your death! “Look it’s not so bad..” “NOT SO BAD? HES KILLED HUNDREDS! THOUSANDS EVEN” “He won’t kill you though!” Your father exclaimed, An attempt to calm you. “Look, bakugo may seem like a man killing war machine of a prince but his parents assured us that he’s very gentle with women.” You scoffed, leaning your weight to one hip “bullshit. He’s gonna kill me. Brutally, he’s gonna hack off my head just you watch”
Over the next few weeks, you tried everything to call off the arrangement. You attempted to run away before the virginity check, faked illness, and came up elaborate excuses. Nothing seemed to work. Your parents were stubborn, insisting that you marry Katsuki Bakugo for the strength of their own kingdom.
Lying in bed, you tossed and turned, unable to escape the looming dread of marrying the great, scary barbarian prince, soon to be barbarian king. What if he rips your head off just because you refuse to give him a kiss? The thought made your heart race with fear.
Suddenly, a knock on the door snapped you out of your spiraling thoughts. A maid entered, her eyes gloomy with pity . "Your Highness? Tomorrow we will wake you early to help you begin packing for the travel to the Empyrean Kingdom," she said softly, her voice trembling as she tried to avoid any kind of trouble.
You groaned and turned your head toward her. "When am I being sent to them?" you asked
"U-uh, most likely the day after tomorrow," the maid stammered, clearly uneasy with your distress.
You sighed deeply, feeling the weight of your impending fate settle even heavier on your shoulders. "I see… thank you," you muttered.
You looked back at the red headed maid “How far is the journey?” You asked her softly, she fidgeted with her fingers “a-about two days, they live f-far from our kingdom your highness” she stammered. You smiled to the red head and dismissed her.
As she left you stared at the ceiling, your mind racing. The thought of being married off to someone you had never met, someone with a terrifying reputation, filled you with a sense of dread and hopelessness. Your parents decision felt like a betrayal, a sacrifice of your happiness for the supposed greater good of the kingdom
You stood in the corner of your large room, watching as numerous servants took gowns, corsets, shoes, and other clothing items, placing them into bags. "U-uh, don’t barbarians wear less formal clothes? Shouldn’t I bring less?" you asked the maids. All of them turned to look at you, a hint of surprise on their faces.
"Her Highness makes a point," the same red-headed maid from the night before whispered to an older maid. The older maid, seemingly more experienced, turned toward you with a thoughtful expression.
"You're right, Your Royal Highness. They would probably end up burning these clothes or turning them into barbarian-styled garments," she conceded.
You sighed, your shoulders dropping in resignation. "What do barbarian women wear?" you asked the older maid, hoping for some clarity.
"Hm… flowy skirts, I’ve seen a few wear headdresses," she replied, as some of the gowns were hung back up in the closet. The maids began to sift through your belongings, selecting items that might be more appropriate for your new life.
As you watched the process, you couldn’t help but glance out the window. Your mother and father were walking in the garden, deep in conversation. They seemed so in love, so perfectly matched, yet they were throwing you into a marriage that promised nothing but misery. The contrast between their happiness and your dread was almost unbearable.
"Your Highness, we’ll pack lighter, more practical clothing for your journey," the older maid reassured.
"Thank you," you murmured, though your heart wasn't in it. The thought of being dressed in unfamiliar clothes, adapting to an unknown culture, and being wed to a man you feared only added to your anxiety.
As the servants continued their work, you wandered over to your bed, sinking down onto the edge. The weight of your impending departure pressed down on you, making it hard to breathe. You had grown up surrounded by luxury and love, and now you were being sent away, to marry probably the most violent man you’ve ever heard of
Tears welled up in your eyes as you thought about the future that awaited you. Would you ever find happiness in the Empyrean Kingdom? Would Katsuki Bakugo, the fierce and terrifying prince, ever come to care for you, or would you be nothing more than a means to an end?
"Your Highness, is there anything else you would like us to pack?" one of the younger maids asked, her voice gentle.
You shook your head, wiping away a stray tear. "No, just… make sure to leave out a few comfortable things for me to wear until we leave."
"Of course, Your Highness," she replied, her expression sympathetic.
As the maids continued their preparations, you lay back on your bed, staring up at the white ceiling. You tried to find comfort in the familiar surroundings, knowing that soon you would be leaving them behind.
"So, what's the barbarian kingdom like?" you asked, looking over to the maids. The older maid once again turned her head to look at you.
"Most of the people live in either big wooden houses with all sorts of weapons around or in these hut-like tent things. Either way, they have all these symbols painted on them," she described, clearly having been to the Empyrean Kingdom before.
"And what about the Bakugos? Where do they live? You asked
"They live in a stone castle with intricate paintings on it, and there's a lot of security. The last time I was there, they had spikes on the bridge leading to the castle, with people's heads mounted on them," the old maid replied,
"How long ago were you there?" you asked, feeling a chill run down your spine at the gruesome detail.
"When the young prince was about fifteen, so around five years ago," she said, placing one last corset into a bag.
You glanced at the six bags of items packed for your journey, feeling a mix of relief and trepidation. It was a smaller amount than you had anticipated, yet it seemed to signify the end of one life and the beginning of another.
"Did you meet the prince?" you asked, trying to glean any information that might help you understand the man you were to marry.
"Briefly," she replied, her expression softening. "He was intense, even as a teenager. Always training, always pushing himself. But there was a sadness in his eyes, a loneliness."
You sighed, trying to reconcile the image of the fierce, terrifying prince with the glimpses of vulnerability the maid described. "And the people there? How are they?"
"Fierce, proud, and loyal," the older maid said. "They value strength above all else, but they also have a deep sense of honor and community. If you earn their respect, they'll defend you with their lives."
The more you learned, the more daunting your future seemed. Yet, there was a strange comfort in knowing that the barbarian kingdom, despite its harsh exterior, had its own codes and values.
As the maids continued their work, you tried to imagine what life in the Empyrean Kingdom would be like
"Is there anything else I should know?" you asked, your voice softer, almost hesitant.
The older maid paused, considering your question. "Just remember, Your Highness, that if you respect them and they’ll respect you."
Her words resonated with you, giving you a small but vital sense of empowerment. You nodded “alright, seems easy enough..”
The day that you needed to travel to the empyrean kingdom came, your parents watched you walk to the carriage by the gate as your mother sobbed into your fathers chest.
The ride to the Empyrean Kingdom was grueling. As the carriage rattled over uneven roads, you gazed out the window, the lush greenery of your homeland gradually giving way to the rugged, bushy but covered in tall trees landscape of the barbarian territory. The closer you got, the more your anxiety grew, each kilometre bringing you closer to the empyrean land
When you finally arrived at the castle, you were struck by its threatening look. The stone walls were decorated with weird red painted symbols, and the spiked bridge, as described by the maid, loomed menacingly ahead. Your heart pounded as you stepped out of the carriage, taking in the harsh surroundings.
A group of stern-faced and very attractive guards escorted you inside. The castle's interior was as intimidating as its exterior—dimly lit, with weapons and trophies of past battles displayed prominently on the walls. You felt a shiver run down your spine as you were led through the cold halls. You swore that if you listened close enough you could hear peoples screams in the dungeons below. Fuck was this hell with its 7 rings?
Finally, you were brought to a large chamber where a tall, muscular figure stood with his back to you. His spiky blonde hair was unmistakable. He was busy looking at a sheet of paper, the one oddly similar to the ones your parents shown you when they first announced your betrothal to bakugo. As he slowly turned to face you, his piercing red eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that made you want to look away. He looked almost angry at you, furious even. Which was confusing because you’ve known this man for a whole 10 seconds
he was tall and about 6ft with messy blonde hair, scars all over his body and face, and piercings on his ears and lip.
"So, you're the princess they sent," Katsuki said, his voice dripping with disdain. He crossed his arms over his broad chest, his expression one of barely concealed annoyance. Katsuki had a deep voice that you couldn’t tell if you found attractive or if you wanted to run away and hide.
You straightened your back, meeting his gaze with as much confidence as you could muster. "I am," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady but it ended up sounding shaky.
Bakugo scoffed, looking you up and down as if to check if you were just a weak small baby or strong enough to be a wife and a queen “Great. Another weakling to babysit," he muttered under his breath.
Anger formed within you at his dismissive attitude. "I am not a weakling," you snapped. "And I am certainly not here to be babysat."
He raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. "We'll see about that," he said, turning away from you. "Follow me. There's no point in wasting time."
You clenched your fists, biting back a come back to insult him with as you followed him through the castle. Every step echoed in the vast, cold corridors. His steps much louder then yours due to his much larger frame
Bakugo led you to a large hall where a group of people—presumably his advisors and some of the castle staff—were gathered. He introduced you curtly, barely sparing you a glance as he did so. The looks you received ranged from curiosity to outright hostility, they clearly didn’t want you here. Just like the old maid back had home had warned, these people hated the weak.
After the introductions, Bakugo dismissed everyone, including you. "You'll be shown to your chambers. Don't get in my way or else," he said, theblonde clearly trying to end the conversation between you two before he could get sucked into some conversation he didn’t waht
You followed a servant to your chambers, a mix of anger and sadness within you. The room was surprisingly comfortable, a stark contrast to the rest of the castle, but it did little to lift your spirits. You sat on the edge of the bed, feeling the weight of your new reality settle over you.
Over the next few days, you tried to find your place in the castle. The people were distant and wary, their lack of trust clear in their every interaction with you. And Bakugo… he was even worse than most . He ignored you most of the time, and when he did speak to you, it was with a cold, dismissive tone that made your blood boil. He always had a tone of sass, trying to get under your skin constantly.
as the days grew closer and closer to your wedding date he seemed to just get more and more annoying, constantly having some tone of sass. Never wanting to talk to you and constantly flirting with your maids, you even went the effort to fire atleast 4 of them to keep their grotty hands to themselves.
“you done firing my staff now?” Bakugo grumbled as he caught up with you in the stone candle lit halls “your staff? You mean my staff? My staff who you seem to love flirting with” you corrected him, looking over your shoulder at him. The blonde furrowed his eyebrows and scoffed “I pay for them there for their my staff.” He growled, asking faster in an attempt to intimate you “actually, your parents pay for the staff.” “Hah?” “Your parent pay for the staff so their not your staff, their the palaces staff.” You said ignorantly as you played with the lace of your dress. “You gonna get out of that frill fest you call a gown?” He asked, again trying to insult you “if I do I’m gonna shove it up your ass” “excuse me?”
“Want me to say it slower? I—WILL—SHOVE—MY—GOW”
“OKAY OKAY SHUT UP WOMAN” he growled at you and walked off in spite “THATS WHAT WHAT I THOUGHT. THATS WHAT I THOUGHT.” You angrily yelled back to him, which in real aspect you were yelling at the back of his ignorant head. You huffed and stormed away in the opposite direction as you wanted nothing more then to get away from that man. As you stomped down the halls, footsteps echoing with each step; you heard a male voice call out to you
“Princess.”
you looked over, a certain brown haired man similar looking to katsuki stared back at you. It was king Masaru “I was looking for you” he says, walking towards you. You quickly curtsied to the king “About what?” You asked “we have a wedding date for you and my son” he smiled warmly as if this was a good thing “o-oh.. and when may that be..?” Your eyebrows furrowed with frustration “a month from now, they will date you to get your gown fitted this week” he seemed overly happy about something neither you or his temperamental son wanted.
“Will I wear a wedding dress from my country or your country?” You asked softly, trying to keep your cool “uh.. our country.” He informed you “I’d rather wear my own wedding gown though, your majesty” “well.. you belong to our kingdom now. We can give you a dress that’s a mix of the two if you’d rather” he compromised, trying to keep with both your and his kingdom. Letting out a sigh your shoulders dropped “I suppose that be okay…” a look of mild disappointment on your face “wonderful, I’m glad we could come to a compromise” he smiled and walked off, an electric blonde guard following close behind him who you earlier learned his name was kaminari. The blonde goofily smiled to you, he seemed like a character. The two men walked off as they chatted, rolling your eyes you too began to walk in the direction of your bedroom chambers.
you couldn’t sleep that night, you tried changing your nightgown, exercising, reading a book, meditating, everything! nothing would help you sleep this night, you wondered if it was the weird interaction with king Masaru or the fact your own fiance was when you think about it was cheating on you with your own staff members. you slowly slid out of bed and out of your silk sheets, rubbing your face up and down with your hands with frustration. Looking down at your feet you sighed, looking out of the window. the night sky was so peaceful unlike your mind which was running with less the pleasant thoughts. How could you get Katsuki to like you? or at least tolerate you in some way so he wouldn't be the most annoying little shit.
The creak of the door hinges squeaks as you pushed the heavy wooden door open, wincing at the high pitch noise. Slowly but quietly gou walked towards the chambers of your future husband. As you approached the door you hear two voices come from the inside
“you’ll need to learn to cherish and care for her eventually”
“why would I do that?” “She is your fiancé! Your future wife! Future mother of your heirs!”
“you except me to fuck her too? Shit.”
“Yes obviously! Your gonna need heirs for our kingdom!”
“fine. Before or after this whole wedding?”
“well In her kingdom, you two do that on the wedding night but to be honest I don’t really care when you do her”
“Too easy”
safe to say your whole face was pink, with either anger or arousal but you couldn’t tell
Tag list!
@sagejin @teeesthings @hiimsaraandyou
@peachysuguru @luvgumii
@v3n7s @iangeeluv
#mha#bnha#my hero academia#katsuki bakugou#barbarian bakugo x reader#bakugo katsuki#bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugo x reader#mha x reader#bakugou katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugo fanfic#katsuki bakugo mha#katsuki bakugo imagine#katsuki bakugo fluff#bakugo katsuki smut#bakugo katuski#bnha bakugo katsuki#bakugo katuski x reader#barbarian bakugo x reader smut#barbarian bakugou#barbarian bakugo smut#barbarian bakugo#royal bakugo x reader#Royal katsuki bakugo#mha fanfic#boku no hero academia#mha bakugou#katsuki bakugo#bakugo smut#bakugou x reader
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Taking Care of You When You're Sick: SKZ OT8 x Reader
Bang Chan:
• Mama Chan mode activated
• Will give you random supplements and vitamins to make sure your body has all it needs to fight whatever you have, and happily sits by your bed to sing to you or talk to you or just sit there if you need him
• Makes you food and hovers around you; he has this weird ability to suddenly appear when you need anything
• You'll have to fight him if you want to get up, because he'll be right there at your bedside claiming you need to sleep and tucking your blanket in
Lee Know:
• When he comes home to see you bundled in blankets, your sad face peeking out of the top, he chuckles and teases you, laughing when you pout
• You know he cares, though, because a little later, he arrives in your room with Soonie, Doongie and Dori, who curl up in the blankets with you like three purring hot water bottles
• He'll kiss your forehead and come back a little later with a bowl of soup
• You happily drink it up and he'll lie down beside you, like a fourth hot water bottle
Seo Changbin:
• Internally struggles because he wants to kiss you and cuddle the sad pout of your face, but also highkey doesn't want to get sick
• Ends up giving in and absolutely coddles you, making sure he's ready to help whenever you want something, but also complains because he wants to make sure you're appreciating him (lol)
• Falls alseep at some point because he's so exhausted he passes out on the bed next to you, then freaks out once he's woken up because you're making yourself some instant noodles in the kitchen, and that's his job
• More sad that he couldn't be your knight in shining armour than that your sick, so you have to comfort him and tell him he looked too cute sleeping to wake him up
Hwang Hyunjin:
• Asks you how you're feeling every five minutes
• Pampers the shit out of you, piling every single blanket in the house on top of you, then cuddles you, peppering kisses all over your face
• Occasionally randomly wails, and when you ask him why, he says that it's because his poor baby is sick
• Is attached to your hip, so when he gets sick it's no surprise to anyone - but by then, you're better, so you can look after him youself
Han Jisung:
• Does his best to make you feel better, first showering you with medicine and food, then showering you with jokes to put a wobbly smile on your face
• Wraps you in a blanket burrito and does anything you want him to, whether it means taking your snotty tissues to the bin or running around/digging through the kitchen cupboards to find that particular food you're craving
• Watches movies with you, cuddles you and probably gets sick but powers through it to make sure that you recover quickly
• Buys your favourite foods, and has a weird knack for knowing if you want something cool and soothing or something crunchy for your sore throat
Lee Felix:
• Cooks so much food, and freezes it so that all you need to do is warm it up if he can't be with you
• Generally just a wonderful ball of sunshine, has the ability to make you smile about nothing, and is an actual angel
• Is so attentive - if he feels out of his depth, he won't hesitate to call his mom, asking if she has any tips to help you get better or clear your blocked nose
• Sings you to sleep, and if that isn't the most soothing thing ever, you don't know what is
Kim Seungmin:
• Is actually really good at looking after sick people without getting their illness
• Which means less cuddles but a faster recovery
• Knows random hacks for soothing headaches or curing blocked noses, and knows which foods will help get rid of your sore throat and which ones will make it worse
• Definitely has one of those aroma stream things, and puts it on with some oils that will clear a blocked nose and headache, so your room smells amazing and you feel better almost immediately
Yang Jeongin:
• Definitely calls Chan, asking him what to do, and takes detailed notes so that once he takes care of you, it's amazing
• Panics but then realises that it won't help, so un-panics
• Is really cute for no reason, like he'll just be giving you some food he's made you and he'll have the most adorable pout
• Actually becomes a pro at taking care of you while you're sick
#skz#stray kids#ot8#yang jeongin#in#jeongin#kim seungmin#seungmin#lee felix#lee yongbok#felix#hwang hyunjin#hyunjin#han jisung#jisung#han#lee know#lee minho#lino#changbin#seo changbin#bang chan#chan#headcanons#fluff
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My RWRB review WITH SPOILERS so dont read if you havent watched yet
Beautiful fresh movie. But horrible book adaptation.
It starts like...it has no proper beginning. We simply find ourselves at the wedding at thats it. I would have opened it at a White house when Alex is given instructions or something.
First cca 10 minutes of the movie were already spoiled to me in all released clips.
Star wars convo? Gone. And it was important in the book for us readers to understand how characters think. Even the whole convo as they lay on the ground in that closet was short and rushed.
Turkey scene was the best & funniest in the book. Here it was smushed into like 20 seconds and all the fun and their convo taken away limited into like 3 lines no David no Mr Wobbles...
No phone call after parents had a fight.
The texting montage...in the book this whole thing with texting is crusial. Its when they fall in love. How they open up to one another so when they see each other at NYE, its like Alex is meeting whole different man. This was again rushed.
Mails leaked. But which emails?? We saw none. We didnt see them writing any emails, like the juicy erotic and romantic ones in the book, just couple of texts. So what exactly leaked? As book reader you know. But imagine you didnt read the book.
NO CORNETTO SCENE!!!
I liked the party tho. And first kiss.
Scene in red room also shortened.
But I loved Amy.
I expected lot more intimacy since it was R rated.
No Wimbledon.
No shouting under the windows of KP. The scene I was mostly looking forward to. The Henry you motherfucker!
Even this was changed. After Alex says Ill leave if you tell me to leave they passionately kiss then make love then comes museum. Here there is no kiss nothing Henry just immediately takes him to the museum. We just see them in bed next morning.
Karaoke scene way too short,again.
Emails being leaked were so stressful in the book I was nausiated when I read those pages. Here it was...kinda brushed off. And the guy who leakec them wasnt punished or anything like in the book. They gave us hint people know their emails were hacked, but its not resolved in the movie. So if you havent read the book you might have impression Miguel got away with it.
Election night or talking to king and Philippe... it was all like...
It felt like i wasnt watching a movie, but a recap of what happened in a movie, before watching volume 2. Almost all scenes sounded like they took the most important parts of conversations in the books and characters spoke them because the information had to get to the viewer, but it felt shallow.
Poorly written rushed writing. Thats how I would put it.
Yes actors are awesome. Taylor is so damn hot and charming it hurts.
Tay and Nick have chemistry straight movie couples can enwy them.
Im not complaining about acting. That was great. Uma as president? Pls Uma run for president in real life.
Nick and Taylor perfecrly embody Henry and Alex in every way. I couldnt wish for better casting.
But again. Rushed horrible writing. If i didnt read the book, i wouldnt believe boys love each other so much. Writers just had to get into this scene after that scene, because thats how this story goes, and thats it.
As a book adaptation, Im only giving it 3 out of 10.
But as a movie...sweet romantic funny fresh and a beatiful message to the LGBT community...im giving it 7 out of 10.
Agree or disagree, I wont fight you.
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All my interests seem to fall into a curse of some kind - Bandai Namco is holding .hack// hostage, Blue Period had an awful anime adaptation (even though the live action one looks really promising, but its not my cup of tea), the GANGSTA mangaka got really sick and couldn't end the series (as far as I'm informed) and now the mangaka of the TAD manga might go to prison...i hope it's fake news, but I've seen in on tumblr and on twitter...
...on the other hand...the animal crossing rumor that next game is going to be completely in a city made its rounds and persisted for quite some time...
Hm....hm....HMMMM!!
Man, I guess it's just more motivation to keep making fanart of some sort.
At least Pokemon and Animal Crossing are thriving as always. You can't mess with the power of cute, no you don't.
---
Right now I am in a bit of a slump, creative wise...like the ocean, it seems to have it's tides. I have been submerged into the depths of it for long enough, it's time to at least try to fight back against...well, against this stagnation.
But how do I do that? I am not strong willed, or very smart, or at least disciplined in some way or another. Organizing myself is also not exactly my forte.
Maybe it's time to work on my drawing and writing techniques. More learning oriented, yknow?
Now I've got at least time, if anything else, might as well to put it to good use.
I tend to be endlessly stuck in the clutches of the neverending cycle of posts of social media.
But how else am I supposed to observe and learn? I could go outside, but my most interesting subject, people, is, well...I'm too socially awkward and not very sly to start people watching. Some might even take offense to being used as reference material. No, I can't do it.
Procastination is the greatest enemy of creative progress. Boredom in itself, on the other hand...
--
One of my favorite books dropped a line once: "Forge your blade in the fires of your wrath, that will be your strength." I'm tired of running from my feelings. I want to feel alive. And I will use those feelings, to run ever forward.
It will not be easy though. Many times I will fall to lethargy and feel hopeless and alone. But I will rise. Sooner or later, I'll get up again, and keep running.
Working with my feelings in a productive matter seems to be the best outlet for now.
Take all this frustration and anger, and produce something meaningful out of it. Confront myself with these ugly manifestations, and gain the ability to not drown in them.
It's scary. Not only because the feelings itself are creepy, but the things and people who provoke these feelings will always be there, and they will not be happy to see my true self.
They seem to forget that my illness is nothing to sneeze at. That I am plagued with thoughts and feelings I wished I could bury ten feet under. Contradictory thoughts and feelings, that slowly convince me that this ugly beast that lurks inside me is the real me.
These are difficult times. And if my old me could at least one thing well, is survive a crisis, acting when everyone is frozen in fear.
Keeping a cool head, even if things seem chaotic and scary at first.
And that's what I will do now. I will strive to be the version of myself I want to be. Even if nobody understands me, or hates me. It's always been like that anyways. I just need to get strong again.
---
But to end this entry in a less intense note...
Last days were rainy like crazy. That makes me happy, the temperature is nice, if, of course, humid, but I got almost used to listening to the rain while falling asleep. It's better than the almost absolute silence there is sometimes. On the weekends, just like this, do happen to be a lot of party people walking by, singing or screaming, completely wasted. It's comforting, as long as you are in the safe haven of your room.
--
Okay, I think that's it for today!
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long post talking about being depressed read at your own detriment
god ok i dick around and joke as much as the next person but holy FUCK i cant stand being mentally ill. i know you see all the time how it weighs you down without even knowing but i brush it off all the time and now im sitting here and its hitting me that this is point blank ruining my life. i think im being watched everywhere i go no matter what i do to the point where being out in an open space or talking to the wrong person gives me a panic/anxiety attack, i have a 24/7 non stop constant stream of self deprecation that talks me out of doing anything, and the things i do do i dont try on even if i need to because whats the point right. im so passively suicidal that i cant go 10 minutes without thinking that im worthless and that i should die, every day i wake up and im miserable from the moment i get out of bed to the moment i get in. i hate myself so viscerally that i cant even fathom a positive thing about myself. im so stupid and full of shit-for-brains i cant ever focus on something and i forgetthe most menial and basic things. i have to copy off of everyone because im so incapable of doing things alone and i cant even do things alone if i wanted to because i have aforementioned debillitating anxiety and the anxiety and everything else makes me WEIRD so i have no friends! and im weird because im suicidal and offputting! god its all a big fucking feedback loop how am i ever supposed to get out of this. it gets worse every day. it all stacks up. the only exit i can fathom, the only exit i HAVE been able to fathom for years is just stopping dead and offing myself and see there i go again. it would be so easy. i have no friends and my parents are terrible people and my cat is dead so whats the fucking point. nothing will get better. nothing HAS gotten better. i cant go to therapy or else i'll be institutionalized and i'll never see the sun again. i cant stomach human people and i dont know if what is in front of me is real half the time. im lonely my parents are awful i have no where else to go. i have no one to bitch at except this stupid little tumblr blog i have no support. if i hadnt sworn off cutting i would be doing so every single night. i am tired. i am so unbelievably fucking tired. why cant i be normal. why am i the only one in my vicinity who doesnt have their shit together. i wish i was normal. if i could take out even just one thing i might be able to get it together. i dont even really pretend im fine anymore. i can say that i am suicidal and no one bats an eye. i have to get a car and a real liscence for my career job and then the chance of me killing myself goes way tf up because then i can just drive my car into a building whenever i want. and god a fuckin. career job!! im a hack!!! i am 10 days away from finishing uni and everyone else is better then me. i dont know shit. i dont know the most basic prinicples no matter how much i study. im too soft. i hsve no skill. im never gonna make it. and maybe it wouldnt be so bad if i was good at or passionate about anything else but nah im so fucking spent im not GOOD AT or INTERESTED in ANYTHING because i JUST WANT TO BE DEAD. every single day of my life i wish i had tried harder to kill myself when i was 14. i should stop typing this out.
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Therapist approved hacks to not get burnout from studying (written by a former law school drop out that had a burnout and went to therapy):
Take breaks. I can't stress that enough. Take breaks often. Make them shorter but put them in there a lot. If you really wanna push it take 20 minute breaks before studying 20 minutes. Rinse and repeat. You'll get more shit done cause you can concentrate better and short study sessions don't need as much motivation.
Don't rest in your study room if you can. Studying in your bedroom? Rest in the livingroom. If you only have one room, change your position. Move from chair to bed or couch. Sit on the floor. Just get away from the desk.
Study at a desk only. Your brain will start connecting desk studying to being focused while studying in your bed might end up ruining your evening care by keeping your mind active instead of turning it into bed time.
Eat. Eat eat eat eat. You'll burn calories when studying so snack if you're hungry. If you can, eat healthy, however don't starve yourself while studying so rather take something unhealthy than nothing at all.
Skip afternoon coffees. It won't actually help you study that much, instead open the window to get fresh air or chew ice cubes. Wakes you up just as well.
Get a full night of sleep. I can't stress this one enough. A healthy sleep schedule is the first things most therapists have to work on with burnout patients because everyone is just so stuck in the "work now, sleep later" mindset. Which btw. doesn't really give you results because you'll be hellish tired next day and will be unable to focus in class and just get more work as a result.
Get two activities for once you're done studying: A hobby and something you do to rest. They're different. A hobby will drain your energy, even though you like doing it, something you do to rest will fill up your energy. (Example: My hobby is crocheting. My rest activity is drinking tea or coffee in the backyard and watching birds.)
Get organised. Yes, sorted chaos is also a way to be organised. If you're neurodivergent or mentally ill, you might struggle with a very strict sorting system. But have one nonetheless. You can just throw all your pens into one box, all your papers into another one and have all your study related books messily in just one cupboard. Have a system, no matter how bad.
Speak. To. People. I had 10 hour study sessions when I was in law school. I woke up in my room, sat on the desk in my room, ate in my room, went back to sleep in my room. Except for the occasional hello to my parents on the way to the toilet and for studybuddies online, I haven't talked to anyone. That's unhealthy. That makes you sick. "But I'm an introvert who likes to be alone" - that's fine. But even introverted people have to socialize. Just with the right people. If you don't like talking to anyone at all, consider talking to a health professional because that's not introversion, that's mental illness.
Get a tutor. (I'm not saying that because I'm a tutor myself now, but because I know how much that actually helps). Especially if you're still in school there are so many options for very little money. Or tons of options for more money if your parents agree to pay for them. Shy? Get an online tutor. Need that human contact I mentioned before? Get a personal tutor. Talking through the topics will always help more than just learning them by yourself. Which is another point:
Become a tutor. Teach someone the topic you're studying. Teach it to your siblings, parents, friends from another major or just help your friends out with the stuff they don't understand but you do. If you can gain a bit pocketmoney through it. Cool. If not, you got at least an easier time next exam season.
To summarise the most important points;
Eat, sleep, talk to people, take breaks and don't try to let yourself be fooled by motivational videos online.
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In Sickness and In Health
Fandom: Chicago Fire
Pairing: Kelly Severide x GN!Reader
Genre: romance, hurt/comfort, fluff
Word Count: 2368
Warnings: just mentions asthma, taking an inhaler
Summary: The reader is having an asthma flare, and their husband Kelly Severide is there for them.
A/N: This is part of @resanoona's #resa.3kfiestabingo! I'm using this fic to fill the "Sick/Illness" square!
You feel the strain on your upper body as you carry on coughing for what feels like an eternity, the sharp throb in the back of your head is a reminder of how much stress your body is under - as if you didn’t know already. Your eyes water as the muscles in your face and throat tense under the assault of hacks and wheezes.
A small gasp escapes you as the cough dies off and you can intake oxygen fully, trying to control your breathing and get in as much air as you could get before another round of coughing finds you. You could tell this wasn’t a full-blown emergency, but it was definitely a strenuous episode that was testing your patience.
Taking the opportunity to have a drink of water from the bottle you kept tucked next to you at all times. Cautious sips are followed by your weary body sinking against the mountain of pillows on the couch, Kelly had put them there before he left for work yesterday morning.
Your back aches from the jolting of everything with each cough that wracked you, and you couldn’t wait to feel your husband’s hands massaging away every painful knot. You try and roll out the pressure in your shoulders, mindful to keep breathing as evenly and slowly as possible.
When you think the window of opportunity is still open, you pick up your inhaler, puffing once as you deeply inhale the medication. Your eyes close in relief, feeling your chest respond almost instantly as you exhale, steadying yourself for a second puff.
You’re taking the second puff with an inhale as you hear a key in the front door to the apartment, your stomach fluttering happily as you realise Kelly was finally home from his long shift.
Carrying on with the inhale, you turn your head to Kelly, watching him put his bag by the kitchen island and something on the counter as he clocks you on the couch. You offer a small wave with your free hand, relief plastered over your face. Between the salbutamol and Kelly Severide, you feel your morning taking a turn for the better.
Your husband bends down to press a kiss to your forehead, a gentle hand already rubbing up and down your sore back. “Good morning, baby.” He murmurs, studying your face to see just how bad the coughing had been. Your eyes were a little sunken with bags, clearly tired from the night’s coughing and this morning’s continuation, he could see the tiny burst vessels in your cheeks from the pressure.
“Good morning, my love.” You smile, reaching up a hand to caress his face, studying his kind features, those sincere and intense blue eyes made your whole world come to a standstill. You run a gentle hand through that salt and pepper hair you adored so much, glad to see him home and okay.
“How are we doing?” He queries, coming to sit beside you and open up an arm for you to sidle in close against him, wrapping yourself around his body like the koala you were.
You hum, nuzzling into his neck with soft lips that move to trail across his jawline. Mumbling against his skin, craving the warmth of the skin-to-skin contact. “Doing okay, it’s been rough but nothing we haven’t dealt with before. Glad you’re here though, missed you a lot. How was shift?”
He smiles at your words and your affections, resuming the gentle massage of your lower back, working his way up to between your shoulder blades and back down again. “Shift was… a little tough, a few too many homes in trouble this time of year. It's cold out and people will use whatever they can for heat, some of it is dangerous. Hell, you know how the Chief met Donna.”
You nod with a pang of sadness, it was horrible to think people were endangering themselves in other ways because using their heating wasn’t an option. You bring your hands to Kelly’s face, holding him gently as you kiss him. You knew he took these things to heart, he hated to see people hurting and this was definitely a sore point. People had the right to be warm in the dead of winter and not risk burning down their homes to survive.
He looks at you for a good moment, and the anguish swims in his gaze, you were all too ready and willing to be his tether when things felt a little stormy. You softly bump your forehead to his, “You do everything you can for them, Kelly, and then some. I know that, and they know it too.”
He nods in acknowledgement of your words, smiling thankfully as he wraps his arms around you, tugging you onto his lap to hold you closer than you already were.
“Thank you.” He whispers, simply rocking you ever so slightly as he keeps you in his embrace.
“Nothing to thank me for, honey. Just the truth.” You whisper back, about to ask him if he wanted breakfast, to do anything today, or if he was ready to go straight to bed and catch up on sleep.
Except your chest has other plans when you open your mouth, a slight catch of air in your throat sends you into another round of coughs that make you push quickly up and off of Kelly as you try not to splutter in his face.
Hunched over on the couch as each wave of constricting muscle reverberates against your chest wall, dry wheezing sounds escaping as your ribs protest the action.
“It’s alright, baby, I got you.” Kelly encourages, holding onto you as he rubs your back carefully, feeling frustratingly helpless as you can only try and get it all out.
“S-sorry…” You cough out, eyes watering and your nose starting to stream, trying to push back against the spasms with futility.
Kelly shakes his head, kissing your shoulder, “Shh, don’t be sorry, don’t try to talk, just ride it out, I’m right here.”
There’s a pause in the coughing, without words Kelly is already offering you your inhaler, knowing now is the time to try and lessen the worst of it.
Your husband’s voice mellows your stress as he speaks, holding your free hand as you use the other to bring the inhaler to your lips. “You got it, take deep and slow breaths, sweetheart.”
Focusing on Kelly’s voice, you take another puff of the inhaler, breathing in as you feel the air fill your lungs, the release of pressure is merciful.
“There we go, exhale, baby.” He soothes, exhaling with you as you feel yourself sag slightly against Kelly’s embrace.
“Let’s do the second puff, okay?” Your husband encourages you, and you nod, knowing it was probably a wise idea.
You push on the canister, feeling the almost metallic tang of the medicine hit your tongue once more. Filling your lungs again all the way until you’re ready to breathe out.
There’s a slight dizziness from the exertion of the coughing and the headiness of the medication, letting Kelly take the inhaler from you as you have another drink of water.
“Here we go.” Kelly plucks some tissues from the dispense on the coffee table, offering a few to you so you could blow your nose and use another to wipe your eyes. Keeping your breaths steady and even as you clear your sinuses, dropping the tissue into the bin as you move on to dabbing at your stinging eyes.
Once you’re done, you have no desire to do anything else but stay in Kelly’s arms, wrapping yourself around him like you had when he first came home.
You rest your head on your husband’s shoulder, “We’ll keep an eye on that, that’s half your dose for the day already, isn’t it?” He asks, slightly concerned by how much energy it had taken from you.
You hum in the affirmative, seeking his body heat and presence all the more now, absentmindedly tracing over the tiny metal links of the chain around his neck. Kelly always made you feel safe and taken care of, even more so now when your asthma could so easily progress to something more severe.
“Want to stay here or want to go to bed?” He asks, stroking your hair softly.
“Kelly, I’m supposed to ask you that.” You grumble, annoyed that you were having this episode, you had wanted to do things for Kelly when he came home from work, not the other way around.
He lets out a small incredulous chuckle, kissing your nose, “Y/N, did you forget the “in sickness” part of our vows? I don’t for one second begrudge taking care of you, especially when you have no control over it.”
You wouldn’t say you were pouting exactly, but you were pretty close to it. You let out a little sigh, tracing featherlight fingertips over the features of Kelly’s face, admiring him.
“I know, but still…” You frown, “Kelly, I’m sorry.”
Kelly becomes a little more serious now, not liking that you felt the need to apologise all the time. He knew exactly where that habit had been instilled into you.
His face may be sterner, but his voice is tentative, “Babe, I know that your mom made you feel like you weren’t allowed to be sick, or that the coughing was a disturbance, but I need you to understand that with me, under our roof? There’s nothing to be sorry for, you haven’t done anything wrong and you’re not a burden, not even close. Is that clear?”
You hesitate to answer, still conflicted, but you can see Kelly as always is so very genuine in his words. He knew what it was like to have parents who didn't always show up for their kids, and you knew it struck a chord in him. So you nod. “Okay, yeah… that’s clear. I love you.”
He smiles, kissing your lips this time, “I love you. Now, where to?”
"Mm, could we try a shower first? I think I need the steam." You concede, already daydreaming of the warm water and the steam that will ease your discomfort. Already planning to finish it off with a cocoon of pillows, a weighted blanket and Kelly's body heat to make you feel better.
Kelly nods, smiling, "Steamy shower it is, then bed and a movie?" He queries, knowing you liked a little background comfort when you weren't feeling well.
You nod, rubbing his arm in thanks. "Okay, we'll pick something when you're settled. Come on." He encourages you, taking you by the hands to help you stand. You sway just a little but Kelly is there to steady you, an arm around your waist as you both walk to the bathroom.
Your back hurts from the movement, but you're finally able to prop yourself up in the bathroom chair whilst Kelly runs the water, letting it get steamy and hot enough to soothe but not burn.
“Kelly?” You ask sleepily, watching your husband’s back and arm muscles move as he reaches to adjust the shower head.
“Yeah, babe?” He turns, watching with an affectionate smile, you could be positively adorable when you were sleepy.
“What did you put on the kitchen counter earlier?” Your voice is curious, one might say hopeful, you already had a hunch of the object as you thought you recognised it to be an olive green crockpot from a certain household.
Kelly chuckles, he could tell you already knew. “It might have been some of that vegetable broth you love so much from Cindy. There’s fresh bread in my bag too.”
Your tired eyes light up, “Oh my god, that woman is truly heaven-sent.” you sigh happily, gleeful of how this day was turning out despite the circumstances.
“Mhm.” Kelly hums in agreement, “I told Herrmann yesterday you were feeling rough, so he must have put out the soup signal to Cindy.” Kelly approaches you, stopping to take off his own clothes before moving to you.
You yawn, smiling, “I have to text them later, don’t let me forget.” Standing with Kelly’s help as he starts to undress you carefully, pressing a kiss to your bare shoulder as he helps you behind the glass of the shower. “I won’t let you forget. For now, let’s take care of you and get that steam working.”
“Yes, Lieutenant.” You tease, letting your husband massage your shoulders and neck, as you take deep inhales and exhales, letting the steam into every pore, feeling your chest ease up in its ache and tightness.
“That’s my love” Kelly praises, holding you close to his chest as he walks you through some breathing exercises, knowing his voice always added a layer of calm to the process.
-
45 minutes later and you’re towelled dry, bundled up in your pyjamas and fluffy socks, cosied by a heating pad and waiting for the soup that Kelly was warming for you. There were extra blankets, water, your inhaler and some painkillers on the nearby bedside table, there were also tissues, lip balm, a nasal inhaler and some snacks for the movie too.
It’s not even another 15 minutes before Kelly’s in bed beside you, both of you gratefully sipping on the vegetable broth, feeling it warm you from the inside out, watching the opening scenes of Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse, you couldn’t be more content.
An hour into the movie, your soup is gone and your tray cleared, you’re finally nestled against your husband with no intention of moving any time soon, his chest is your pillow as you feel yourself doze off and on, Kelly’s fingers so gentle as they slowly stroke through your hair, massaging your scalp in the process.
“Babe?” Kelly whispers, checking to see if you were awake, only to be met with soft puffs of breath as you fall deeper into slumber. Your husband simply keeps his hold on you, smiling to himself as he allows his own eyes to rest.
It was never a question in his mind, long before he stood at the altar he knew, that in sickness and in health, he would be there for you.
-
Fin.
@resanoona - @elius-learns-to-write - @dumb-fawkin-bitch - @stuckyxren
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salt, ice and fire | frank castle
chapter four - a better man than me
[series masterlist] [previous chapter]
frank castle x fem!reader
word count: 4.9k
warnings: canon typical violence, mentions of scars, death, general gross imagery involving hands and nails ew, mentions of mental illness
a/n: bing boing enjoy.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
“We need to leave.” Frank already had half his stuff shoved back in a bag when you walked through the door.
“They’ll follow.” You were covered in blood, and didn’t walk any further into the house than the small mat at the front where other pairs of Franks combat boots were placed neatly in a line.
“Doesn’t matter. We put distance between us and them. I’ll get you to Madani after-”
“I’m not going with her. Or you.” Frank zips up his bag and grabs the keys on the kitchen counter. “You’re on the Colonels shit list, for some reason. You should leave before the next wave comes.”
“You wanna stay here? Be my guest, but you’ll either be dead or back in the Colonel’s cell in an hour.”
“He’s gonna track me no matter where I go. I’ll lead him straight to you.”
“So? Once we get far enough I’ll hack that shit off myself, we just gotta get to Madan-” You roll your eyes, no longer caring about getting blood all over his floor.
“It explodes. If I leave the city. It’ll go off.” Frank stops his packing, and he looks at you like you’ve just spoken another language.
“You’ve had a bomb strapped to your arm for two months?” You shrug, and he starts to shake his head, but still swings the bag over his shoulder and heads for the door. “We’ll make a stop first.”
Your chest starts to feel tight.
Two months you’ve been working for the Colonel, doing anything he asked because you thought he held your brother captive. Now, you learn he never had him in the first place, and you have killed twenty four people for no reason.
Now your only options were waiting for the mass onslaught of ‘New America’ psychos to show up and inevitably kill you, or go with the guy who seems to have the CIA in his pocket. The blinking on your cuff turns to a constant, whining sound. The light was still orange.
“We have to move.” Frank grumbles and pushes past you, but you haven’t budged. You know the smart play is to go with him. At the very least, he has weapons, but he also strapped you to a radiator less than 30 minutes ago.
“Why would you help me?” You stand at the door, and Frank starts walking backwards down the driveway, clearly eager to get out of here.
“I ain’t got time for this. You either come with me or stay here. I don’t give a shit either way.” Frank kicks at the dead guy near his right leg, the remainder of his face being buried into the dirt.
He must take pity on you, because the hardened expression he was constantly putting up cracks just a little.
“Look, just get in the van. We’re an hour out of the city, and I’m your only ride. You can do whatever the hell you want after that.”
Your entire life, you have only wanted one thing. To protect your brother from the very thing he is probably facing right now. The Gnucci’s were the reason you had no family, the reason you were pulled apart and sewed back together. If they still had your brother, every second you wasted fighting with this guy was ruining your chance of getting him back in one piece.
So maybe you would get blown to pieces on the way back, but it was worth the risk. Everything was worth the risk. You had come this far, crossed this many lines. What was one more, if it meant you could get him back? At least with this option you’d have the freedom of doing it on your own terms.
The only way to have your own choice, to do what you want to do, for once in your life, is to go with Frank Castle.
You swung the passenger door of the van open and slid inside, watching as the trail of bodies gradually disappeared out of sight.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Only twenty minutes have passes, and for someone who had spent the last three years in complete isolation, the silence between you both is uncomfortable.
No radio. You would have liked that, at least. You don’t remember the last time you heard a car radio. Or music. Your mom always had music playing when you were a kid.
Frank hadn’t said anything about where you were going, nor has he mentioned the constant ringing of your cuff, and you hadn’t brought up how the colour had now changed from orange to red. You had never seen it red before. You had also never heard it make these sounds before - a high pitched squeal of a noise filling the gap of silence. You were pretty sure it was going to blow up any second.
“Just press the button.” Frank says lowly, his knuckles almost white from gripping the steering wheel.
“It doesn’t work like that. It’s an alarm - now it’s triggered I can’t turn it off.”
“Is it always so goddamn loud-”
“Well, if you’d shot me when I told you to, you wouldn’t have to worry about it.”
“Christ.” He shakes his head and puts his focus back on the road. While he’s distracted, you take the chance to observe him. Like, really look at him.
You never get photos of the targets you are meant to hit. Just a name and a location. It was why you were so surprised when his face matched one of the names you were given. You had only seen a glimpse when you were carried out by the Colonel, but his features were hard to forget.
He had a hard jaw, and a nose that looked like it had been broken one too many times. Yours most likely looked the same, although you hadn’t had the time to examine your own face like you were currently examining his.
His hair was cropped short, and it was dark brown. Nearly black, but you knew it was brown because the sun was out, and it was shining through the short strands at the top. It was strange that you noticed that.
You couldn’t see them right now, but you knew his eyes were brown, too. You don’t know why you remember that, either. He was making your exhausted brain focus on all the wrong things. You should be thinking about his weaknesses, like that arm that was still broken. You see him look over at you, and you shoot your gaze forward, pretending to be busy staring at the traffic.
You were somewhere outside the main city, maybe on the edge of it. The tall buildings of the skyline you saw in the sunrise are still a fair way off. Frank indicates and pulls off the main road.
“I hope we’re close. This thing doesn’t seem to like wherever we’re going. Wherever this is.” Frank finally stops the car outside of what looks like a school building.
“He’s a friend. He’s dealt with this kind of thing before. Should be able to get that thing off your arm, if you ask nice.” You roll your eyes and your head drops back on the head rest.
“This friend. He CIA too? You gonna turn me in with a bomb still on my wrist?”
“He’s not.” His face is hard. Clearly, whoever your going to see is a close friend. Maybe family. Instead of focusing on how you could use this against him, you look at how his eyes are definitely brown. Dark, too. The beeping starts again, and you focus your thoughts.
“Guess I’ll take your word for it.”
“You make one wrong move in there, and I’ll kill you myself.”
“I’m sure Madani won’t be-“
“One wrong move.” He turns fully in his seat, left hand instinctively on the gun that always seemed strapped to him. You raised your hands in a mock surrender, and he scoffs before getting out of the car. “He’s in there.”
It’s then, catching your reflecting in the side view mirror, that you realise you’re still covered head to toe, in blood. It’s splashed across your face, all over your shirt and arms. Your pants are black, but the rest of you looks like a serial killer.
Fitting, but not ideal when you needed to law as low as possible.
“Put this on.” Frank throws something giant and black at you, and you manage to catch it before it drops to the floor. You fist the material, and it feels soft. Soft, and as you pull it over your head, you feel it’s warm too. God - it’s probably the most comfortable thing your held in your hands in years. It feels like a blanket, and you shift it around in your hands until you see the sleeves.
The jumper covers most of the blood stains on your arms and body, and when you finally pop your head out of the hole, you realise it’s on backwards, the hood obscuring your mouth. Two hands tug it around your body in one go.
“You put your arms in-“
“I know what a fucking jumper is.” You bite back, a little embarrassed. You don’t remember the last time you had worn one. As you finally tug it into place, he’s still close, standing right next to you. His arms come up near your head, and the animal in you screams to run - kill him and run now. You ignore it and don’t move, and his hands grab the hood behind your head and pull it over your hair.
“Keep that up. You’ll scare people.” You know it’s true, but the way he says it sounds more of an insult than an observation. You flip him off with the hand in your pocket and follow him into the building. Good thing it was a Saturday, because you would hate to see what the kids thought of your face.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Frank leads you through the empty hallways of the school Curtis runs his sessions in, that stupid fucking beeping sound following him as he tries to find the right room. He told him to meet here because at least if this all goes south and they get blown to pieces, they won’t be able to ID Curtis at his house.
“That you, Castle?” His voice calls from an empty classroom, and he opens the door to find Curtis spreading out a bunch of supplies, already wearing his bomb suit. “If you want to see me, we can always just go for a drink. You know, like normal people.”
Frank pulls him in to a hug, and Curtis returns it warmly. It had been a couple months since he’d seen his friend, with everything that happened he figured they all needed time to recover on their own, but damn if he didn’t miss him.
“I appreciate you, man. You know that?” Curtis scoffs a laugh and goes to reply, but loses the words when you step into the room, hood still drawn over your head.
“The woman with the bomb, I’m assuming.” Curtis motions for you, and surprisingly, you obey. It was kind of scary, the way you move with such caution, like you were anticipating the explosion any second. It didn’t fill Frank with a lot of confidence, but he stood right next to you, beside Curtis. “What’s your name?”
You tell him, and stick out your hand to shake his. Frank realises he never asked you for it. It’s why Curtis would always be a better person than him, and why Frank knows he could never do the job he does. He just doesn’t think of things like that.
“Nice to meet you. I’m gonna see what I can do here, okay?” You nod, lifting your other arm out. “How long has it been beeping like this?”
“About an hour or so. I have to check in every two or three, and if I don’t it triggers the alarm. That’s the button there-” You twist your arm to show the buttons on the side, and Frank catches an eye of the extensive scarring down your forearm and around your fingertips. “-and the lights go off.”
“It’s been on for two months?”
“Yeah. It also tracks location. I think the chip is back there, underneath the light. Dug around when I first got it, but I couldn’t figure it out and I didn’t really want to blow my face off.” You twist again, and Curtis turns to grab some wire clippers and a screwdriver.
“Couldn’t have that.” Curtis smiles, as if he doesn’t know what you can do. Or maybe he does, and just doesn’t care. He does keep Frank around. He turns your hand over a few times, and taps around on the screen. It has a digital time and longitude and latitude.
“What you think?” Frank tries to say quietly, but you both look up at him anyways.
“Seems standard. I doubt these guys had a lot of funding to be packing away explosives, let alone in something this small. I’m not even sure they could make anything decent in this size. I’m more concerned about the tracker.” He starts to unscrew the side of the watch, and the beeping gets higher pitched, almost like an alert. A last ditch effort to give off your location before it was shut off. He sees your eyes close under the hood, preparing, and he tries to put his body between you and Curtis.
Curtis keeps working, screwing at the other side until the inside of the cuff is exposed. There was a small chip, presumably used to track your location, as well as an intricate wire system packed into a tiny space.
“Shit.” Curtis swears, and puts down the wire cutters. “Who are these guys again?”
“Call themselves ‘New America’. Why? What’s wrong?” Frank pushes.
“This is just - for a start up organisation, even for criminals this technology is - it’s hardly even in the market. Someone’s paying big money for this stuff. I just need to- Okay, the wires are all woven together. I need something small and sharp, maybe like a needle or-”
“This?” One of your fingers extend, and a metal nail, sharpened to a point protrudes about two inches out of your finger. It’s the first time Frank can see it up close, and it’s almost like they have embedded it underneath your real nail.
“That will uh-“ Curtis, unfazed, gets a little closer, examining it. “That will do it.” He takes hold of your hand, and you let him control you, slipping the sharp point of your nail underneath the complex wiring. Franks only had a few run ins with this kind of thing, but Curtis always worked it out better. He had a head for this stuff, and at the very least, Frank needed a friend right now.
He hears a wire pop, and finally the beeping noise stops. He can still hear it ringing in his ears, but the noise is gone, and the hardest part is over. With the explosive disarmed, Curtis pops out the tracking device and places it on the table next to you. Your fist comes down with a crack, splintering it into dozens of tiny pieces.
The actual cuff turns out to be the hardest part. It’s made of some kind of reinforced metal, and Curtis can’t cut it with the pliers he bought, so him and Frank lead you out and down to the wood shop classroom hoping there’s something more high powered in there. As they walk, you taking your time somewhere behind, Curtis tries to pull him aside.
“Are you sure you aren’t in over your head with this one?”
“What do you mean? I’ve been on the Gnuccis for months now-“
“Not with that. With her. I mean, if she’s really what they say she is, maybe you shouldn’t be tying her up in your house and dragging her around the city. Cut your losses.”
Frank looks back at you, watching how you examine the now disarmed cuff around your wrist.
“She doesn’t wanna be here as much as much as I do. We got stuck with that thing on her wrist. I’ll bet you $20 she’s outta here before we even make it back to the van.” Curtis turns into the wood shop room.
“You know I’m not a betting man, Castle, but I might just take you up on that. Could use some easy money.” Before he can ask him what he means, you walk in, looking around the room.
“What is all this?” You ask, running your hands over the smoothed wooden tables.
“You never seen a wood shop classroom before?”
“Never went to high school.” Your confession stumps him. He tries to remember what it said on your file. You were only 12 when your parents died, and living with a mob family probably didn’t allow a lot of time for school, let alone shop class.
“You didn’t miss much. Full of bad haircuts and worse outfits.” If the hood wasn’t so far up your face, Frank would of seen you smile when you laughed at Curtis’ comment. He moves around the table, facing you.
“Put your arm here.” Frank says and you look up, confused, but you do what he says. “Like this.”
“If I lose my hand because of your shitty high school shop skills, I swear-“
“Just put your fucking arm down.” He takes your arm in his, fingers careful not to brush over any of the scars that line your arms. He can’t help but look - they are almost certainly surgical scars; the one, long line on the outside of your forearm and tiny ones spread out across your fingertips are so straight they had to be done with precision. He turns his focus back on the cuff, where your arm moves to his manipulation.
“I’ll bring this down.” Frank points out the lever on the side of the table, made to allow you to crank it up and down to apply more pressure between the two sharp points of metal. “Just hold still. It might get tight, but we want it to pop off.”
“Sure.” You adjust your arm, and he starts to move the lever down. The points find their place on the side of your arm, but they start to dig into the skin, and he sees you flinch, so he pulls it back.
“Sorry.”
“It’s - fine.” You don’t look up, your eyes burning holes into the ground. He starts the lever again, and can see your arm starting to shake. This was clearly a thing for you, like the fire was, and he wasn’t about to shove you through that again. He calls Curtis over in hopes of distracting you while he continues to crack through the metal.
“Hey Curt, you ever call that girl again? What was her name?”
“Callie?”
“Yeah. You call her back?”
“Nah. She told me she didn’t want nothing to do with me after last time.” Frank remembers it was his fault he got called out, because he needed help tracking down Billy Russo’s new men.
“C’mon. Just turn on that old Curtis charm. Show up with a box of chocolates or something. She’ll hear ya out.”
“I tried her house, but she wasn’t there. Screening my calls, too. Think I might of lucked out.” You make a small noise from the cover of your hood, and Frank runs with it.
“You got something to say, kid?” You look up, squinting at him.
“I’m not a ‘kid’, and no. Not unless you actually want to get laid. Otherwise stick with the chocolates.”
“Hey, I’m desperate here. It’s been a month of nothing.” Curtis can see what Frank is trying to do, and joins in. Of course he sees it, he deals with this kind of stuff for a living.
“What’d you do?”
“Stood her up on the third date. Didn’t call her for a week after it, too.”
“The third? Come on. Even I know that’s the big one.”
“Yeah, yeah. I know. There wasn’t anything I would of rather gone to. Trust me.”
“Did you tell her that?”
“I, uh- it was complicated.” Curtis looks down at Frank, who shrugs. He doesn’t know how much you know about him, about what he does. If you knew, you hadn’t thrown it in his face yet, although throughout his minimal interactions with you, he has a feeling that if you knew, you would have.
“It’s like - fuck!” Frank clips your skin in one of the points on the lever. Your head drops again, and Frank hesitantly puts his hand on top of yours.
“You good?” The gesture seems to have the desired effect, because your eyes are now off the lever and on his hand, fingers lingering over your knuckles. You nod, and he keeps going.
“So what do I do?” Curtis catches your attention, and one more crank of the lever should do it.
“Just be honest, or as honest as you can be. She will be able to tell if your lying - women always know.”
“Ain’t that the truth.”
“Cook for her.” Your eyes get a little distant when you say it, and Curtis nods at the idea.
“Yeah?” You nod.
“It’s the effort. My dad used to-“ You swallow and take a deep breath “-when he fucked up. He always used to cook for her, my mum, do this big meal in a pot or something.”
“That’s sweet.” Curtis uses his group therapy voice, and it shakes something in you. “Hopefully she likes toast, cause that’s about all I can make.” You smile, and it doesn’t meet your eyes, but Frank notices.
He finds himself looking at other parts of your face, and how it all seems to come together when you smile. The final crank of the lever sends the cuff flying off your wrist with a satisfying ‘clink’.
“That’s it, then?” Curtis takes the remainder of the cuff and throws it into the furnace.
“That’s it.” Frank stays seated opposite you.
“I, um-“ Your eyebrows furrow, and you look down at your hands. “Thank you. Neither of you had to do this.”
“Any friend of Franks is a friend of mine.” Another smile plays at the side of your face, and you look at him as if he’s a part of a joke only you two know.
“Oh yeah, best buddies. Next time we can braid each other’s hair.” Franks the one to laugh, shaking his head as he gets up and claps Curtis on the back, a silent thank you. He nods and heads toward the door, and you open your mouth, going to say something but you are cut off by a giant bang somewhere outside the door.
“We got company.” Curtis is looking through the small window of the classroom door.
“Colonel’s men?” You say, already moving towards the door.
“Do they wear military uniforms?”
“Fuck.” Frank curses. “The chip was destroyed.”
“Maybe they tracked it before we got it out.” Curtis was moving the table in front of the door, but you put a hand out to stop him.
“I’ll buy you time.” You swing the door open, the voices of at least 30 men echoing down the hall. Just like before, Frank sticks his arm out in front of you. “Stop doing that.”
“I just spent the last twenty minutes angling a bomb off your wrist, and now you’re just gonna get yourself killed?”
“I can handle myself.”
“Christ, that’s not what I’m saying. Look at you.”
“What do you care?” Frank shuts up. Madani must of gotten into his damn head, because now he feels himself giving somewhat of a shit about what happens to you. He justifies it by saying he owes Madani a favour, and he shouldn’t let her only lead run herself into a quick death.
“There’s a way out back.” Curtis had already moved to the back of the classroom, where another door must lead into a gym. He holds the door open, and Frank keeps his arm out in front of you, hoping you make the right call.
With a slight push back of his arm, you move towards the back door. He tries to hide the relief.
Curtis moves through the gym, leading you both through a storage room, out a staff bathroom to the outside parking lot.
“I should split off.” You say as Frank and Curtis head towards his car. Curtis stands in front of his drivers seat door, and looks at Frank.
“You got no car.” He tries.
“Faster without one.” You throw back, flexing your hands out the sleeves of his hoodie.
“You don’t know where your brother is. Madani can help you.”
“Can she? Without locking me up?” Frank looks to the right, where he can hear the men moving through the school building. They were probably near the shop classroom now. “I have to-“
An explosion from behind you sends debris flying, and car alarms go off sending the entire lot into chaos. Frank dives down, and he was close enough to you that when he instinctively put out his arm, he covered your head.
“Frank!” Curtis calls out, and he waves him off.
“Get outta here!”
“Not without you, let’s go!” He looks up to find you, only to see your body is halfway under another car, the engine already starting to kick over. A few wires hang out the bottom, and you were flicking them together, sending sparks flying as you hot wired it.
“He needs to get out of here. They will kill him. Go.” You turn to him, both of you still laying on the ground. His head was fucking throbbing, and the sound of the explosion must be messing with his head, because instead of crawling towards Curtis’ car, he moves towards you. “What are you doing?”
“I’m not dragging him in to another war. He’s done enough.” You drop the wires as the engine roars to life, and sit up, staring at him. With a second of you looking at him, apparently the words hit home, because you nod and stand, offering your hand.
“You go, Curt. I’ll catch up.” Letting Curtis see he was good, he nods and jumps in the car, speeding off onto the main drag. He sees you go to the drivers side, and grabs the hood of your jacket. “I’m driving.”
“Are you kidding?”
“No. I’m driving.”
“How many fingers am I holding up?” Apparently the explosion was closer than he thought, or maybe he got hit by something, because he wasn’t sure if the answer was two or seven. “Yeah, I’m driving. Get in the back.”
“Fuckin’ back.” He groans, but doesn’t have the brain to complain when you shove him into the back seat, using a little more strength than you needed to. He watches as you pull away from the school, and even though every logical bone in his body tells him he shouldn’t trust you, shouldn’t let himself pass out right now, he looks up at you, and finds he does anyway.
[next chapter]
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
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UNIVERSITY WITH MENTAL ILLNESS
Mental health and illness is already hard enough, but adding school pressure on top is hard. High school was easier for me since there is a lot more structure and a lot less choice, which is why I'm targeting this towards college and university students.
Firstly is attending class. Getting to class is a major hurdle, especially with a commute like me (1 hour+) broke people problems lmao. Driving that long to go to a class just to drive back home is already exhausting and unpleasant, especially knowing professors will post slides or something after class anyways. But you have to drag yourself there. One thing I do to help is dress up. I'll do my makeup and put on nicer clothes. Why does this work for me? I hate wasting stuff, especially money and to me, putting on makeup is spending money essentially (same logic as using rare items in a video game idk). I can't just sit around the house and waste the money I just put on my face so I gotta go to class. Small things like this to trick your brain works so well. Before this, there was a restaurant I absolutely loved next to campus so if I went to every class for two weeks I would reward myself by going there. Another thing that helps is making plans with people ahead of time. They'll hold you accountable on days that you can't.
Take rest days. Schedule one whole day a week where you don't do school or go to work. It's a day completely off for anything. I use this day to do chores in the morning and then just lay around and do absolutely nothing all afternoon and night. This helps recharge and reduce stimulation and socialization. It gives your brain that little rest it cries for every day. I used to panic so much about this one day because I could be working and making money or studying or doing anything to be productive until I had a week where I couldn't do anything because I broke down completely, mentally and physically. Now I see it as a preservation day. I use this day to recover from everything.
Make your notes pretty. I hate going back and looking at my messy class notes. Everything is scattered and messy and I get frustrated. What I do instead is make a virtual, concise copy that is pretty to me. I'll add little sketches, color, pictures, etc. This helps draw my attention and allows me to study while doing it! Making the second copy forces you to go through the material after a class is over and review the material to decide what is truly important and then organize it all and then rewrite it all. This has been a huge help.
Use class breaks to snack or grab coffee. One thing I have found in many people with high anxiety is that food and drinks really help calm you down. I've found some research suggesting it's because food is a signal that things are safe and therefore makes you more relaxed, though I don't know much about anthropology and psychology fields. I find this really helps to calm me down after I had a very stressful test so that I can be more present for the next class. Gum helps a lot on high anxiety/panic days as well.
Download the notes or slides, especially if posted ahead of time. This way you have access even if you don't have wifi. You can even pull them up in lectures so you don't have to focus on the board the whole time. For my people with autism, this has helped me so much. There are times where you can't focus on the professor and the slides and the sounds and writing, so doing this cuts out having to watch the teacher and the board. Bonus points if you can record during lecture as well so you can revisit parts that you zoned out in or couldn't focus on.
Keep a journal or diary and list your activities, food, weather, etc in it as well as your mood. This can help you find correlations to hack shit. My favorite way of doing this is through the Daylio app (I wrote a post about it here). Like I notice that days when it's rainy, I study and read more and days where I walk more and eat breakfast, I focus better and am happier overall. This information helps so much. If I know it's going to rain tomorrow, I won't try to force myself to study a bunch today and instead save that energy for later. Instead, I'll take care of myself and go for a walk or something. Knowing how you work and why really makes a HUGE difference.
This might just be my autism brain, but finding cool things related to the topic at hand has helped me keep interest in at least a little of the subject, helping me study more. Like I don't like chimaeras (a fish group) BUT for some reason I love fish teeth and these fishes have a very unique tooth set. This at least let's me know something instead of just ignoring and forgetting everything. 20% is better than nothing.
Find a reason to study what you do, even if it's just that you need this class to graduate. Just taking classes for no reason seems like something neurotypical people are able to do. I can't do it. I need a reason and if I can't find one, I just give up. I used to always say it was useless and pointless and didn't understand why it was required. But I realized the reason to take it is because I want a piece of paper that says I traded lots of money and sanity for it. And that reason has to be good enough.
Make study games. Games are more fun than lifeless paper. Matching games, crosswords, coloring pages, whatever you like!
Feel free to add your tips to this post as well!! I always have room for improvement and experimentation, especially for really hard days. I still find myself skipping even online classes some days. No one had all the answers or has everything figured out. This is just an incomplete list of things that have helped me out a bit and made college life a bit easier.
#study blog#study hard#studyblr#school#student#student life#studying#productivity#autism tips#depression tips#tips and tricks#study tips#college tips#tips#university advice#school advice#advice#college#college life#university#mental health#mentally ill#mental heath support
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Great, my girlfriend is a toddler
Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader
Word count: ~4.5k
Warnings: one curse word (I think), mentions of past trauma (nothing graphic), and a lot of fluff
Summary: Reader is caught in a trap during a mission and ends up trapping herself in her five year old mind and body.
Author’s note: I know I basically just post incorrect quotes, but this idea came to me and I just had to write it. I won’t stop with the incorrects btw, and if you guys prefer I create a different blog to post these little stories just let me know. Without further ado, enjoy, and let me know what you think (this is my first time writing something like this too, so tips/remarks are always welcome).
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the marvel characters.
(Picture is not mine, got it on pinterest)
“West wing clear”
“Basement clear”
“Guys I need some help here.”
You heard through comms as your teammates infiltrated the Hydra base.
It was a fairly simple mission, small base, so not that many enemies to fight off.
As you made your way down an empty corridor to the control room you could listen to Bucky's grunts, and punches, on your earpiece as Sam and Steve made their way to him.
The silence and emptiness was rather suspicious, but you made nothing off of it, thankful you would get in easily.
“I’m in the control room.” You spoke when you found yourself surrounded by computers and all sorts of technology. It seemed quite ancient for an organization that has been a pain in your asses for the past months.
Hacking wasn’t your specialty, but you sure were better at it then the other three, hence you getting the task. Your eyes scanned the room, trained on identifying threats. Surprised by the emptiness of it all, you focused on finding the main system.
You plugged the pen drive Stark had prepared and started typing, your eyes occasionally leaving the screen to take a quick glance around the room, an uneasy feeling growing at the pit of your stomach.
“Y/L/N, we’re all clear here,” Steve’s voice rang on your ear, “how are you doing there.”
“I’m nearly done,” you stared at the computer as the information was downloaded to the little gadget, “I don’t know guys, something here feels wrong, it’s too empty, too quiet.”
No response.
“Guys? Can you hear me?” Your heart rate picked up, something was definitely wrong.
In a second the download was complete, and you hastily snatched the pen drive, going for the door. Your desperation grew when you stated it was locked.
“Can anyone listen? I’m locked.” You spoke to the earpiece. “The doors locked automatically. I need help getting out.”
The door was sealed shut, not even a small slit in between it and the floor, your powers wouldn’t help you on this one. You tried to bring your heart rate down as your eyes scoured the room once again for a way out. No air vents, no windows, there was another door on the other end of the room, and you promptly made your way to it, only to confirm it was also locked shut.
Your attention was brought back to the first door, loud banging and a faint voice coming from the other side. Thankfully the boys noticed there was a problem and came to your aid. As you ran across the room, your head started to get fuzzy, your vision was not as clear as it had been seconds ago, and breathing was starting to get harder.
Before you even reached the still shut door, your body collapsed on the floor, everything going black.
You stirred in bed, shifting to a more comfortable position. Some light seeped through your eyelids, but you were tired, dragging the sleep as long as possible.
Your peace was broken by a door suddenly opening.
“What the hell happened?” A woman’s voice filled the room. She sounded angry, and upset, the hostility in her tone made you clutch the blanket harder.
“Wanda calm-” A man spoke, but was cut off by the woman.
“Calm down? CALM DOWN? Don’t you tell me to calm down, Stark, when I got back from a mission fifteen minutes ago only to learn that my girlfriend turned herself into a five year old toddler.” She was loud and it just made you even more scared of being in trouble.
A small whimper escaped your throat getting both people's attention. You opened your eyes only to be met by several stares, there were easily five or six people in that room, but you didn’t have time to count as you pulled the blanket over your head, bringing your knees closer to your chest.
Your body was trembling with fear from what you knew would come next. You hadn’t done anything, you had been a good girl, done your chores, never speaking unless spoken to, but for some reason the people from the orphanage took a particular liking in punishing you even when you hadn’t done anything bad.
You waited for it to come, but instead of the ill-disposed voice and harsh hands, you were met with a soft “hey” and a delicate hand. Nonetheless it was still frightened, making your whole body tense.
“I’m sowy, I didn’t do anyfing, pwease don’t huwt me, I’ve been good.” You cried out, tears threatening to fall.
The hand started to caress your arm soothingly.
“Hey Y/N, you’re okay, we’re not going to hurt you, okay? You’re safe here.” Your muscles relaxed slightly at the words, thick with an accent, and touch. Your mind was still on alert but for some reason your body responded to this woman in a way your mind didn’t understand.
“Seems like she lost her memories too, she still thinks she is in that horrible place.” A new voice spoke up.
“Hey Y/N,” the woman spoke close to you, low as not to frighten you further, “you’re not in the orphanage anymore okay? You are somewhere safe. Those people can’t get to you here.”
You peeked over the blanket and was met with mesmerizing green eyes, they seemed so kind and comforting putting you at ease.
“Pwomise?”
“I promise. No one’s going to hurt you. We will protect you.” She offered you a smile that made your lips want to curl into one too, despite your wariness of the woman still being a stranger.
You pulled the blanket back above your head, muttering a quiet “okay”. Your heart rate then picked up it’s pace once you noticed you would be punished for forgetting your manners, your mind still not fully understanding you were no longer in a dangerous place.
You yanked the blanket just below your chin, uncovering your whole face so you were facing the woman.
“Fank you, miss.” You spoke quickly and hid again.
She chuckled slightly and you couldn’t help but feel fuzzy.
“How about you stop hiding that pretty face of yours huh?” The words caused a smile to unconsciously tug at your lips, as you pulled the blanket down and started to sit up. “See, much better, right?”
You stared at the figure in front of you with what could only be described as adoration. She was just so kind and beautiful you couldn’t seem to stop smiling. A slight movement behind her brought you out of your daze and you landed your gaze on the several people watching the interaction, people you had seemingly forgotten were still in the room.
Your eyes went wide and a gasp left your lips before you laid back down, covering your curled up body with the blanket again. The woman noticed what had frightened you and brought her hand back to caress your back.
“Hey, it’s okay, they’re only here to protect you too. They are just worried about you.” You didn’t move, this was too many new people and having all their eyes on you was making you nervous. “Do you want me to ask them to leave?” She whispered closer to your ear and you nodded excessively.
Sounds of chairs moving, footsteps and a door closing were heard before the room fell back to silence.
“We’re alone now.”
You peeked carefully outside the blanket to be sure you were alone. When you found the rest of the room empty, you moved to sit back up. Suddenly the idea of being alone with this woman made you very shy, your eyes watching as you wiggled your toes.
“Fank you, miss.”
“Wanda”
“Wanda” You whispered, not taking your eyes off of your feet.
After a few moments of silence a question popped into your head.
“Why did you save me?” You tried to speak but the sound wasn’t higher than a whisper.
“What?”
“”Why did you save me.” You said louder. “The Sisters said that I was- I was a bad giwl, and that is why my pawents didn’t want me, and no one would want because I was bad and-”
“Okay, stop,” she cut off your rambling and you finally met her gaze, “all those things they said about you are not true, okay? Don’t believe any of that.”
“How do you know it is not twue.” Sadness seeping on your voice. “You don’t even know me.”
“Quite on the contrary, I happen to know you very well. I know you get grumpy when you wake up. I know you don’t like to wear dresses. I know you like to laugh and make lots of funny jokes. I know your favourite colour, favorite food, favourite animal, favourite movie… but most importantly,” she brought her hands to rest on your sides, “I know you are very ticklish.”
At that she started to tickle you mercilessly causing you to fall back on the bed, a string of laughs and giggles escaping your mouth. She stopped after a few seconds and you took the opportunity to catch your breath.
“See. I know many things about you.”
“Yeah.” You said amidst giggles.
“And I know that none of those things the Sisters said about you are true.”
“Fank you, miss Wanda.” She let out a laugh.
“You are too cute,” she pinched your cheeks causing you to feel shy all of a sudden, “just call me Wanda.”
Your gaze fell down to the mattress again.
“Okay, fank you, Wanda.” Your voice barely above a whisper.
“You’re welcome.” She brought her hand up to smooth your hair. “Do you want anything sweetie?” That little nickname just made you even more flustered, even though you couldn’t hide the smile that formed at your lips.
You pondered her question for a second, you were hungry, but you knew better than to ask for food outside of mealtimes, the memories of the punishments still fresh. After a few moments you shook your head.
“Are you sure?” She pushed. “Don’t you want to eat something?” It was almost as if she could read your mind. “You can tell me, it’s okay, no one will hurt you for being hungry. And we can fix up something for us to eat.” She must have noticed your hesitation. “Y’know, I’m a little bit hungry too.” She whispered close to your ear, her breath tickling your ear causing you to chuckle.
Your mind knew this was a bad idea, that you would get punished after, but Wanda was just so convincing you ended up nodding weakly.
“There you go.” She cheered.
She picked you up from the bed, but before she could lower you to the floor your arms circled her neck and your legs, her waist. You couldn’t help it, you just wanted to be close to her. She giggled at your actions, but didn’t fight it, carrying you out of the room and into a big corridor.
When the sound of muffled voices started to grow louder, your posture became tense. Wanda took notice, rubbing circles on your back.
“Hey, it’s alright, they are nice, you’ll see.” She tried to calm you down.
Your posture relaxed, but you weren’t sure if it was because of her words or just her general presence.
“Whewe awe we going?”
“To the kitchen.”
“And the people in the kitchen? Will they huwt me?”
“No honey, of course not, they care so much about you, they are here to protect you too.”
As she made her way into the kitchen, you hid your face in the crook of her neck, trying to ignore how the room went quiet with your presence.
“How is she?” A male voice asked, you recognized it from moments earlier.
“She’s okay, a little scared, seems like she did also lose all her memories, everything she knows is from when she was five.”
Wanda moved around and kept up with the conversation, to which you stopped paying attention when your eyes fell onto a thing a man was eating. You had tried one of those before, once, when an old woman donated a basket of those to the orphanage and you managed to steal a small piece, it was delicious, tasted like heaven compared to all the tasteless food they gave you in that place.
Wanda settled on a chair and you kept your head hidden, but your eyes were locked on the man.
You thought you heard Wanda calling you, but your attention was entirely on that piece of food. The man seemed to take notice when he met your gaze and gave you a smirk. The eye contact would’ve made you shy away, but Wanda’s presence made you feel safe, so you held it.
“I think I know what she wants.” He spoke to Wanda. “Would you like a muffin Y/N?” He directed at you. You lifted your head from Wanda’s shoulder and, after a moment of hesitation, you nodded slowly.
He opened a cabinet and picked one up, handing it to you, offering a beaming smile. You stared at it for a second, not expecting him to give you a whole one. Your eyes darted from him to Wanda, looking for some sort of confirmation.
“It’s okay, take it.” She smiled at you encouragingly.
You slowly stretched your hand and grabbed the item.
“Fank you, siw.” You practically whispered.
“You can call me Sam.”
“Fank you, Mw. Sam.”
“Huh, Mr Sam, I can get used to that.” He joked. Or at least you thought he did, since now you were just blankly staring at the muffin, not really sure if you should really eat it, despite your stomach screaming for you to do so.
“Just call him Sam,” Wanda spoke to you, “and we can’t let her keep calling us that, Sam, she does it out of fear for disrespecting us.”
“Is that why she also hesitated from taking the muffin?” A new voice questioned.
“I don’t know Stark, maybe…” Wanda trailed off and you decided to help, since they were talking about you anyways.
“Fhey did not let us- let us eat out of meal time and-,” you took a breath trying to calm your nerves, “and thewe wewe too many kids so- so thewe was nevew enough food and- and,” your eyes went wide when you noticed everyone was staring at you intently and a whimper left your lips unconsciously before you shoved your face back into Wanda’s neck.
She rubbed your back in an attempt to calm you down and, surprisingly enough, it did. Something about her just made you so calm.
“You don’t have to worry about this here,” a man with glasses said, “we have plenty of food and no rules, you can have whatever you want whenever you want, just tell any of us and we’ll get it for you, deal?” You smiled at how nice they were being with you.
“Deal, siw.” You nodded.
“And call me Tony, please.” You nodded again.
“See, it’s fine, you're safe here.” Wanda reassured, giving you a kiss on your temple. The action caused a silly smile to grow on your lips and your cheeks to heat up, as you leaned into her chest.
“Oh, come on, seriously?” A man with the same accent as Wanda blurted. “She has known you for, what? 20 minutes? And she already has a crush on you.” His comment made laughter erupt around the kitchen, and, even though you didn’t understand what was so funny, you enjoyed the moment. Laughter was not common in the orphanage.
Throughout the rest of the day you started to feel more comfortable around everyone.
Wanda never left your side, or, you were the one who never left her side. Spending the rest of the evening watching movies on the most amazing TV room you had ever stepped foot on.
Other people would join you from time to time. Pietro, who you learned was Wanda’s brother; Natasha, or Nat as she preferred; Bucky; Sam; and Steve.
You couldn’t quite pinpoint when it was that you fell asleep. You just knew you were now in a room you had never seen before, it was pretty, but unfamiliar. You saw a stuffed animal left on the edge of the bed and clutched onto it, trying to get the images from the nightmare you just had out of your mind.
Several minutes passed and you were just too scared to even close your eyes. Sleeping alone was something you never did, the rooms in the orphanage were filled to the brim with precarious beds or improvised mattresses due to the excessive amount of kids there.
Deciding that you wouldn’t be able to sleep anymore, you climbed out of bed and made your way out of that room. Your feet automatically took you to another door down a big hall. You knocked softly, but got no response.
After three more tries, you turned the door knob and it opened. You put your head inside the room and detected a figure laying in a bed.
“Wanda,” you whisper shouted, trying to catch the woman’s attention, “Wandaaa.”
She stirred and lifted her head to look at you, her eyes were sleepy, but she managed to give you a tired smile.
“Hey Y/N, is something wrong? Do you need anything?”
“Can I- can I sleep with you?” Your gaze fell to the floor.
“Sure.” You smiled widely and ran towards her, climbing into the bed messily, since it was so ridiculously tall.
She laid on her back, opening her arms, and you took that as your chance to cuddle into her, wrapping your tiny limbs around her torso. She caressed your hair until you drifted to sleep.
The next morning you woke up still cuddled to Wanda. She was still fast asleep, and looked so peaceful you didn’t have the heart to move and risk waking her. Plus, you liked the proximity, the warmth from her body, her arm hugging you close.
A few minutes passed before she opened her eyes, only to be met by yours.
“Good mowning.”
“Good morning princess,” you giggled at the nickname, “wanna go down and get some breakfast?”
You nodded eagerly, already used this new environment, without the rigid rules and punishments. She climbed out of bed and made her way to the bathroom, you just sat up and watched as she washed her face or something. She then went through another door, which you assumed was where she kept her clothes since moments later she came back in different clothes.
She picked you up from the bed and took you into the kitchen. When she walked past the room, a confused expression grew on you.
“Whewe awe we going?”
“To the dining room, we usually have our breakfast there.”
“Oh, okay.”
And that was one breakfast table alright. All kinds of fruit, bread, cereal, cake, cheese and ham, and butter.
“Look who found our little runaway.” Tony commented, but you didn’t give him any attention, mesmerized by the amount of food.
“Yeah, she found her way into my room in the middle of the night.”
“Really? How?” Steve asked.
“Good question, hey, sweetie,” Wanda caught your attention and you turned to look at her, “how did you know which one was my room last night?” You shrugged.
“I just knew whewe to go.”
“Seems like some part of her memory is still intact.” Stark remarked with interest.
Wanda sat down, with you in her lap and started serving food on her plate. The rest of the room fell into light conversation as you all enjoyed breakfast.
Soon you were interrupted by Bruce.
“Guys, I’ve got results from the tests.”
“Do you know what happened?” Steve asked eagerly.
“Kind of, the smoke she inhaled during the mission was poisonous, it was supposed to kill her, but it seems like her cells reacted to it differently.” He explained. “Her shapeshifting abilities reacted with the poison causing her body to, well, change, in order to avoid dying.”
“My powews wewe able to bweak down the poisonous gas into hawmless pawticles.” You responded automatically.
Everyone was shocked at your statement, but you just kept on eating like nothing had happened, not understanding what they were so surprised about.
“Yes… precisely,” Bruce added, slowly, “and that took a toll on her own cells, turning off her powers momentarily, why she got stuck as her five year old self with no memories whatsoever of the rest of her life is unclear.”
“Can you turn her back?” Nat asked.
“I can try and find some serum that reverts her situation, but, by the looks of it, her body is doing it on its own.”
“She did remember her way to my room last night, and now this. It means her memory is coming back.”
“Can you predict how long it’ll take for her to come back to her own self?” Bucky urged.
“Not really, this is all new to me. Although if I had to take a hint, I’d say a couple of weeks at least.” The scientist answered.
“But she will come back, right?” Wanda sounded preoccupied, and it caught your attention.
“Relax sister, she’ll come back. And even if she doesn’t, she’s already in love with you again anyways.” Pietro teased.
“That’s not helping.” She teased back and tightened her hold on you.
A few days passed and, as expected, you were still stuck as a five year old. You would slip out little snippets of things from time to time, memories of things you’ve learned only when you were much older, but you still weren’t coming back.
After a while you fell into a routine. You would sleep with Wanda every night, watch movies with her and some of the other people in that place, Bucky and Sam would come up with the funnest games for you to play, Pietro would take you around the compound to help set pranks to play on the others.
You grew accustomed to the place and the people. The lack of excessive rules was relaxing. How nice everyone was to you. When Wanda would call you cute nicknames and get you all shy and flustered.
You were now watching Frozen for the fifth time that week, with Wanda by your side and Nat, Peter and Sam scattered around the TV room.
They found it adorable how you sang along to every song even though you didn’t know any of the lyrics. Peter and Sam had now countless videos on their phones of you doing all sorts of things just to mock you when you came back to your older self.
The movie was nearing the end, now on the scene where they were rushing Anna to the trolls to see if they could help keep her alive. You sang along to the song up until the moment where Anna collapsed from the spell Elsa threw on her.
At that moment you mindlessly turned to Wanda, the words seeping out of your mouth without your control.
“You bettew not die on ouw wedding.” Her eyes went wide with shock from the statement, which you didn’t notice.
“What?” She whispered, more to herself than to you.
“Yeah, well, I’m gonna mawwy you one day.” You gave her a smile and turned your attention back to the TV, unaware of what you had just said as a blush creeped around Wanda’s face.
When the movie ended, you chanted for you guys to watch it again, earning a groan from everyone. When a yawn escaped your lips, Wanda took that as her cue.
“C’mon, honey, you are tired, we can watch it again tomorrow.” She picked you up.
“Pwomise?” You gave her your puppy eyes.
“I promised.” She pecked your nose, earning a giggle from you.
You settled in her bed as you waited for her to shower and join you. You cuddled into her and drifted off to sleep.
You woke up feeling extremely weird, your muscles ached and your head was spinning a little. You kept your eyes closed as memories from the past days came back to you. The mission going wrong, you waking up in the med bay.
And then you remembered.
“Holy shit.” You whispered to yourself, careful not to wake Wanda.
You had spent the past week as a five year old. Every moment started to come back. You playing hide and seek with Sam and Bucky. That time you and Pietro showered Nat with glitter, and how she almost killed the boy later. Tony being a dad all the time, checking up if you needed anything and making funny faces to make you laugh. Steve carrying you around inside his shield.
And Wanda, always being there with you. Taking care of you. Watching the same movies all the time. Cuddling every night.
Your attention was caught by the woman stirring in bed next to you, still fast asleep. She had been so patient throughout the whole situation that you couldn’t help but smile.
You propped yourself up on one elbow, facing your girlfriend. You watched for a few minutes while she was fast asleep. Just appreciating how beautiful she was and how peaceful she looked. You were falling even more in love with her, if that was possible.
Not being able to hold yourself back any longer, you gave her a lingering kiss to her forehead, moving then to her cheek, leaving small pecks all the way. You then moved to her jaw and neck, inhaling her scent, as your free hand started to draw circles on her stomach.
You felt her breath changing, indicating she was no longer asleep and directed your lips to her ear.
“Good morning, my love,” you whispered softly, pecking her earlobe gently.
Her hands grabbed your cheeks and moved you up to face her, her expression one of full happiness.
“You’re back.” She whispered moments after, trying to convince herself that it was true.
“I’m back.” You leaned down to capture her lips in a long and passionate kiss, resting your forehead against hers’, “I love you.”
“I love you too,” she moved so she could stare into your eyes, “I missed you.”
“Why? I was here the whole time.” You teased.
“You know what I mean.” Your smile grew as you leaned in again, your lips meeting in another gentle kiss.
“At least we learned two things from this experience,” she eyed you with curiosity, “first, is that no matter what I’ll always be in love with you,” you referred to the crush five year old you had on her, and enjoyed as her cheeks turned bright red, “and second, is that you are great with kids.”
“I am, aren’t I.”
You spent hours in bed, cuddling, kissing and laughing at your childish antics from the past week.
That’s when you knew, you would marry that girl.
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little hacker
avengers x fem!teen!reader
characters: brief clint barton, tony stark, steve rogers, natasha romanoff, peter parker
summary: you hacked into tony's systems and he, along with the team, track you down.
warnings: mentions of death and a car crash, hacking written by someone who has no idea how it works
word count: 3241
note: hi um this is my first oneshot on tumblr i hope you like it!!
you were 14 when you first met the avengers. your family had gotten into a tragic car accident and you were the only one who made it out alive, leaving you in excessive guilt and burden; guilt because you were the only one granted a second chance at life and burden because you had to live your life, barely scraping by as you were dropped the responsibility of taking care of your sick grandmother.
at 11, where all that the kids your age had to worry about was whether their pocket money was enough to get themselves an after-school snack, you worried whether or not the money left to your name was enough to survive.
at 11, where girls worried about their changing bodies and asked their mothers about it, you had to figure it all out yourself and with the help of your trusty laptop, the only gadget you had, one that your dad had gifted to you after you had gotten 100s for all your tests at age 8. he thought you were his little prodigy and figured a laptop would treat you well. you took care of it well because while you didn't want to spend the last of your money left, —that was specifically set aside for your grandmother's hospital bills— you wanted to hold on to the laptop for as long as you could, as a reminder of your loving father, as well as the memories the item held, after you've watched movies with pretty much all of your passed family members on that laptop at different points in your life. that was why whenever the thing lagged due to how much you've been using it, you almost always figure out how to fix it until it was good as new.
at 12, while your classmates had their parents to protect them when they were out at night, you feared for your life whenever you were out past dark. which led you to learning self defence from youtube videos. you learned them pretty quickly and with your sharp-wittedness, you no longer feared to be out at night. you even had the honours of trying out your skills when some men thought they could get you just because you were smaller than them.
at 12, where kids your age were having fun, enjoying their childhood, you had no choice but to be mature and think for the good of yourself and your sick grandmother. you were forced to grow up and you were probably more mature and intelligent than the rest of your classmates combined.
and at 13, you realised that money wasn't going to grow on trees and the money you were left with wasn't going to last forever. it had to last until you were old enough to work. but with your grandmother's condition getting worse and worse, you were forced to drop out of school. you were upset because you loved it. you loved knowledge. but family came first and the only thing that your knowledge increased on was on computers.
which led to you being able to hack into tony stark's bank account at only 14. you had no other choice than to steal money and who better to steal it from than a guy whose pocket change could probably last you another five years or so? you knew who tony stark was, the whole world knows who he is. and you thought that maybe he would be too preoccupied with his alter ego saving the whole world, along with his group of earth's mightiest heroes that he wouldn't notice the tiny bit of money you'd stolen from him.
of course the billionaire had been alerted immediately by his AI when you'd accessed into his systems. "security breach?" he exclaimed, immediately dropping the tool he was tinkering his suit with in his lab.
he spent about 3 minutes, that was how long you took touring around in his systems, observing what you did in it. he watched as you did nothing about the highly confidential information he had and instead, stole....5 grand from his bank account? that was barely a scratch to his account. what was going on?
he had requested FRIDAY to track down the hacker, mainly because he was perplexed that someone had hacked into his well protected system just to steal a tiny bit of money but it seems that even FRIDAY couldn't track down where it came from.
he told the team and it was then that everyone worried how dangerous the hacker could possibly be.
"who steals just 5 grand after hacking into a billionaire's bank account?" clint frowned after tony had explained the whole situation. "i mean, if i managed to hack into your systems, i'd do way more than just steal a couple bucks."
"exactly. and who knows? they might just be waiting for the right moment to install dangerous malware into the system and until we find the culprit, they're roaming somewhere out there with all our confidential information right at the tip of their fingers. if they decide to use it against us..." tony trailed off, for once having a worried expression on his otherwise nonchalant face. he's never been this clueless about what to do with any sort of technical issues concerning the avengers or himself.
you on the other hand, after getting complacent that you weren't caught, kept doing so for the next couple months or so. you had no ill intentions, just trying to scrape by. the whole situation puzzled tony. he didn't care how much you've taken from him in total now, you were right; it was merely pocket change to him. but you were still considered a threat since you had free access to his systems and he didn't even know who you were or where you were.
that was until you made a tiny mistake, one that if tony wasn't spending every waking moment trying to track you down he wouldn't have noticed. and though it was a small mistake, it certainly was going to change how things ran from then on.
that afternoon, after having just gotten back from visiting your grandmother at the hospital, you were planning to get more money from the billionaire's bank account at the comfort of your own home. god, hospital bills were expensive. once you had had a little snack, you settled down on the couch and opened your laptop. but being the quick-witted person you were, before the screen in front of you lit up, you saw movement from behind you.
your heart raced. you could handle fighting people but those usually happened in alleys at nighttime. this was in your home, your safe place. you made sure to lock the doors and there weren't fire escapes outside your windows so how did the intruder get in?
you could tell they were trying to be inconspicuous to get to you and so you let them. you let the person think that they were going to get you without a fight but when they were right behind you, you swiftly turned your body around and jumped over the couch. the masked intruder let out a surprised yelp and the two of you fought for a bit. before you knew it, you had them pinned under you in just ten seconds.
"wha– how– what?" it sounded like a boy. you looked down at him and noticed his red and blue spandex suit. you frowned. wasn't this the friendly neighbourhood spiderman guy or something? why was a superhero breaking into your home?
he was coughing from your knee pressing down onto his chest and you lifted it slightly, enough for him to breathe but not enough to escape. he seemed grateful though because he muttered a seemingly embarrassed 'thanks'.
"get off the kid or i'll blast you off of him myself."
you look up and saw the iron man repulsor aimed right at you, and obviously iron man himself was standing right there in the middle of your small apartment. behind him stood a redhead, who you knew as the black widow, aiming a pistol at you, and a man with a shield, captain america. the spiderboy must've come in through the window and unlocked the door for them.
when you made eye contact with steve, he frowned in confusion. you looked way too young to be the culprit they had expected. he muttered a quiet 'wait, what?' before tony stark revealed himself, his iron man faceplate opening.
"um...kid? where are your parents? or guardian? we need to see them because there's been some highly illegal activity coming from this address." the man in the suit spoke. you stayed still, knee still pressing against the boy under you, frowning at the adults in the room. they noticed your apprehensiveness and slowly lowered their weapons. "we're not here to hurt you, you can release the boy now," steve told you gently.
you usually weren't one to trust easily but since these people were known superheroes, you reluctantly stood up, still anxious of the possibilities of what they could do to you. the spiderboy got up too and dusted his back, before going to stand next to steve. you were confused as to why these heroes were breaking in your home until you remembered what you had been up to for the past weeks. how could you forget when that was the only reason you were still surviving?
your eyes widened with fear when they met tony's soft ones. he looked at you with such care and worry that you were reminded of your late dad. the man in front of you wasn't the arrogant man you've watched on youtube. you felt bad for stealing from him now. you used to think that he deserved it, despite how little you took compared to how much he had. the man knelt down before you so he didn't appear so big in front of you, seeing your frightened expression. little did he know you were frightened for a totally different reason.
"anyone else living here, kid? because i tracked down this address and someone has been stealing money from me. i might need to have a little talk with them." he explained, looking around the house. you fiddled with the hem of your shirt nervously, scared of what would come once you came clean about your actions. you were scared you were going to be taken in for juvenile crime but you were also scared of the consequences of lying straight to their faces. so you took a deep breath before deciding to just tell the truth.
"t–that would be me, sir." you admitted in a small voice, avoiding eye contact with the billionaire you had been stealing from. a few shocked looks from the team and an incredulous 'what?' from tony had you biting the inside of your cheeks in fear.
"i'm truly sorry about that, sir. i..." you trailed off, debating whether or not to justify your actions because you thought that he might not even want to listen to it. "i had to pay off my grandmother's hospital bills because she is very sick. my family died a few years ago in a car crash and i was the only one who made it. i was left some money to my name but having to survive on that along with paying off nana's bills, it was bound to run out. i...i thought that since you were a billionaire, stealing a few thousands wouldn't matter to you...i'm so sorry, sir. i– i'll start working to pay you back.." you stuttered out, holding your hands together so it would minimise the shaking.
tony's mouth opened and closed, like fish out of water, not knowing what to say to you. he stood up and you were on the verge of breaking down right then and there, feeling as small as you did before he knelt before you. "p–please don't report me, sir. i– i don't know what would happen to my nana if you do.. i swear to you that i didn't mess with your other files. i only accessed the system for your bank account and that was it. i have no ill intentions, please don't report me.." you were now the one kneeling down in front of him, begging.
the team were flabbergasted at the scene unfolding before them and tony was quick to get you off your knees, which scared you even more because the death grip of his metal hands on your forearms had your mind running wild at the millions of possibilities of what he would do to you. was he going to kill you and leave you somewhere that people were never going to find your body? or was he going to dispose of you and use his power to remove you permanently from the system so no one came looking for you? he had the power to ruin your life and you feared that.
snapping you out of your mental breakdown, he spoke softly. "hey, it's okay." and that was when you realised the 'death grip' he had on your forearms had only been your paranoia getting the best of you. he was barely even touching you. your teary eyes looked up at his soft, brown ones in fear.
then he smiled at you.
"it's okay. i understand the reason why you did what you did. you're a good kid, your nana is so lucky to have you. what's your name?" he knelt down before you once again, knowing that him standing tall in his iron man suit terrified you. "y/n." you responded timidly.
"how old are you, y/n?" this time, it was steve who asked. you had forgotten that there were other people in the room, too consumed by your fear for your life a few moments ago. "i'm fourteen, mr america, sir." you whispered out, the sight of captain america in person intimidating you until you saw a kind smile on his face.
"you're pretty young to be doing what you've been doing, y/n. are you aware that you're the first person to be able to hack into my heavily protected, supposedly impenetrable network? many have tried to do so and failed, and they were really smart people too. have you been doing this for a while?" tony asked.
"um...my father gifted me this laptop when i was 8 because i did exceptionally well in school. he believed i was a child prodigy and let me have a laptop since he knew my studies wouldn't be affected by the distraction of entertainment. i used to only hack into games to cheat my way up the ranks but only recently i tried something else since i had nothing better to do and i've been out of school for a while now. i knew you were a billionaire so i tried just for the heck of it and surprised myself when i got in on the first try. and then i saw your bank account details and i really needed money so i stole some... again, i'm so sorry about that." you apologised, looking down at your feet.
he couldn't believe it. you were just messing around and you managed to get into his system? you, a mere fourteen year old who was out of school, managed to single handedly do what geniuses around the world had failed to do?
he was initially just going to have a talk with the hacker, and in case they were dangerous and had backup, he brought his own. but bringing steve, natasha and peter proved to be unnecessary when the culprit turned out to be you.
"where did you learn those moves?" natasha stepped closer towards you. you looked up at the redhead, noticing the glare she had on you when she aimed her pistols at you was replaced with curiosity.
you fiddled with the hem of your shirt even more, embarrassed to tell her that you learned to fight from a couple of youtube videos when she had gotten years of actual training. you were pathetic compared to her. "i, um, i learned them from some youtube videos."
her eyebrows raised in surprise at the revelation. you hadn't gotten professional training yet you moved like you had. peter had superhuman strength, agility and endurance yet you took him down in under ten seconds. sure it may have been a disadvantage to peter because he was caught off guard but he should've been able to take you down still.
now was tony going to let the chance of a lifetime slip by? no, of course he was immediately thinking of recruiting you. your dad had been right about you being a prodigy. you adapted to new skills quickly and you were perfect for recruitment.
"hey kid, wanna be an avenger?"
your eyes widened and your jaw dropped in shock. steve immediately turned to him, an incredulous look on his face as he glared dangerously at the billionaire. "stark, you wanna think about this for a minute?"
"thank about what, cap? you saw what she did to the spiderling. and she successfully hacked into my system on her first try and we took weeks to trace her. romanoff back me up here," he saw how impressed natasha was by you and he knew the redhead wasn't going to disagree. "stark's right, steve. she's only fourteen and she's capable of so much already. we need someone like her."
"exactly! she's only fourteen! this life is dangerous for her!" steve argued. peter then tapped his shoulder to get his attention. "hey, mr rogers, i'm a sixteen-year-old avenger and she took me down easily. not gonna lie, it hurt my pride, also my back when you flipped me over your shoulder," he turned to you but you didn't say anything because you couldn't see his facial expression. "but i think she's going to be okay, sir."
steve sighed before turning to you, the defeated expression on his face softening when you looked up at him with your doe eyes and a small smile. you didn't answer to tony just yet since it seemed that steve had a say in it as well but you were dying to say yes. not only were you not going to be reported for your crimes but to be recruited by iron man himself to be an avenger? who could say no to that? not you, at least, since you had nothing better to do with your life at the moment.
"well, what do you say, kid?"
your smile grew and you nodded happily. the team couldn't help but crack a smile at how happy you looked for the first time since they've encountered you.
"well, you should go pack your important stuff so we can go back to the tower. you're going to be moving in if you're an official member of the avengers." tony told you and you nodded, walking towards your room to start packing while the team sat on the couch to wait for you.
"wait, what's going to happen to my nana?" you turned back towards them, worry etched onto you face. "don't worry about it, kid. you can give me the details later and i'll settle it. she'll be in good hands." he assured. "okay." you mumbled in response.
you were actually going to be an avenger. "awesome.." you grinned to yourself as you packed.
#avengers#avengers x reader#avengers x teen!reader#tony stark x teen!reader#captain america x teen!reader#steve rogers x teen!reader#natasha romanoff x teen!reader#teen!reader#peter parker x reader#marvel#marvel x reader
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BTS reaction #1:- When they kidnapped you. Hyung line.
Warning:- Kidnapping, stalking, mental illness, hacking, yandere! bts, mafia, use of drug, guns.
Masterlist.
Seokjin/Jin.
You sighed as you walk towards Seokjin's room. Working at an asylum is hard and exhausting, especially if your working for the most wanted serial killer who also runs a mafia and does killing as his 'hobby'. You don't understand why they gave you his case, you have just started your carrier, maybe cause you are the only person willing to put up with his disturbing shit.
"Why are you looking as if you are sick, princesses?" Ah, there he is sitting on his chair calling you by the nickname he gave you in your first week of attending him.
"Cause I am sick, Jin," I looked at him, you still wonder how he has not murdered you. You were sure that you were digging your own grave but somehow the mafia leader takes a liking to you, which you don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing. Maybe he was a bit too touchy but he never really made you uncomfortable, just some innocent hugs and kisses, nothing much or nothing less. You don't have a problem with it as long as he was taking his medicines and therapy.
"Then you shouldn't be here, Princess, and I told you not to come here today why didn't you listened to my warning?" He came closer as you closed the door, he was towering you as he was taller than you and more build-up then you can ever get, it's not like you were a sporty person. You are a lazy potato.
"Jin, it's not the first time you told me that. All those time you warned me not to come at work, nothing happened. Now-" Before you can finish your sentence the emergency alarm went off, warning you that something was wrong.
"What the-? Jin, stay right here! I am going out to check what's going on." You were about to go outside when you heard gunshots coming from outside followed by screaming. Your body froze from the fear you were feeling, seems like someone broke in or a patient got there hands on a gun.
"I told you not to come here today, princess. Now you have to watch these all, my poor innocent baby." Jin walked towards you as you back away from him, maybe this is how you will die, at the hands of a mafia leader who do killing as his 'hobby'.
"Don't come near me, Kim Seokjin, or else I will hurt you." You said in a fake confident voice but your legs gave you out, they were shaking from terror. The gunshots continued outside, the screaming of terror and pain followed by it. Maybe, just maybe, you should have listened to him this time.
"Don't be scared, Princess. I will protect you, don't worry my men will not hurt you as they have given strict instructions to not to just you." He pulled your cowering self in his arms and kissed your head.
"Please...Jin- Let me go, please..." You begged helplessly as your tears began to ruin his shirt, not that he minds it. The door opened and a guy came with a gun, he looked at Seokjin and hand him a bolt, you can't see it because Seokjin pressed your head against his chest.
"Shhh, Princess. Go to sleep." Seokjin pressed a cloth, which you didn't even notice he had, to you mouth as you struggle before the drug kick in your system and you start to lose consciousness.
"Now you are all mine, Princess, all mine and only mine." That was the last thing you heard as your world went black.
Yoongi/Suga.
Yoongi was leaning against the alley wall as he was outside the club he owns as he was smoking, his right hand was bleeding since he just beat someone to death. He has dumped the body on a dumpster, which was were that bastard belongs. He heard some light footsteps but he didn't look up assuming that it was one of his men but when a bandage came in his view he looked up because his men know better than to offer him a bandage. He looked at the person offering him a bandage, he was surprised to see a girl, probably in her early 20s, wearing pyjamas smiling to him.
"Here, you are bleeding Mr." She offered him the bandage which he ignored.
"What are you doing here? This place is not for girls like you, go away before something happens." She made an offended face.
"What do you mean by 'Girls like me?' Just cause I am wearing a pyjamas doesn't mean you can judge me! Here take this bandage." She hands him the bandage but stopped as she eyed the cancer stick on his none injured hand.
"Huh, seems like I have to patch you up since your other hand is busy with that cancer stick." She sighed as she starts to take care of his hand. Yoongi looked at her face silently, wondering why is she not running away from him.
"All done!" She proudly said as she looks at Yoongi's hand. Yoongi looks at his hand, the bandage was done nicely, it even has a cute little bear character. Her phone chimed loudly, startling her.
"Oh? Yeah, yeah, I am coming! Stay where you are! Don't go anywhere!" She starts to walk to the main entrance of the club.
She looks back at Yoongi and yelled," Don't smoke, Mister! It's bad for your health! Take care of your wound, bye!"
Yoongi's eyes followed her as she helps a drunken girl who looks to be her friend into a car. As the car drove away, Yoongi realised that he didn't even get her name. He cursed and kick the wall angrily. Maybe, he will bump into her again.
The next time Yoongi meet you was at a cafe, you were getting a smoothie when Yoongi thanked you for that night.
He asked where did she get the bandage from and you answered by saying that you always carry a mini first aid kit in your car. By the end of the conversation, Yoongi gets to know her name, her number and her.
After that, both of them start to hang out more until Yoongi decided that its time to carry out the plan he has planned. He knows that the instant she finds out that he runs a mafia she is going to run away, which he wouldn't allow. That is why here she is, now drugged, laying on his bed in his mansion. He knows that what he is doing is insane and she is going to hate him for that but in the end, she has to love him again, she has to.
Hoseok/J-hope.
Hoseok first noticed you when you came with your best friend to his dance class, your best friend was looking after you as your mother was out of town.
You and your best friend entered the dance class, "Good evening, sir!" Your best friend exclaimed, making other students look at your way.
"Good evening! Oh? Whose that besides you?" Hoseok looks at you with curious eyes.
"This is my best friend, Y/N! I hope you don't mind her here since I have to look after her cause her mom is in another town."
"Oh, I thought she was your sister since both of you are wearing matching clothes and I don't mind her, why don't you join us, Y/N!"
"Sure, I guess." Those were the first word you said to him.
The dance session went smoothly, you were a born dancer, picking choreography quickly and even help some other students with some complicated moves.
All the things went smoothly until your mother came back to town since your best friend no longer needs to look after you, you stop coming with her to the dance classes.
Hoseok was disappointed to know that but at least he has your number.
From that day onward you and Hoseok start talking to each other every day, each day Hoseok obsession with you increased little by little.
Until one day, he kidnapped, it was not that difficult since you trust him enough to come to an abandoned place without telling anyone where you were going.
"Ohh, little one. I have dreamed of this day from day one, to have you in my arms, protected by me. Now no one can see you or steal you away from me, you are all mine and only mine.
Namjoon/RM.
All you ever wanted was a friend, was that too much to ask for? Well, it seems like it was since here you are hand and legs tied with a thick rope with a ducted tape on your mouth, preventing you from shouting for help.
You tried to make yourself as small as possible as the door opened, revealing you're so-called online best friend.
If only you never went on to message him in the first place, if only you stop talking to him after you told him that he got the wrong number. But you didn't, instead, you keep talking to him, ignoring all the red flags. You just wanted a friend but what you got? A hacker who used to stalk you through your webcam, who has now kidnapped you. You wouldn't be surprised if he turned out to be a psychopath- wait he already is since normal people don't kidnap people daily.
You could never agree to meet him at his house, you could at least told someone where you were going and with who you were meeting but you didn't since you knew that your parents will oppose the idea of you meeting a strange who you only know online.
"Aww, look at you, all curled up. It must be cold and lonely without me right?" No, it wasn't but now it's suffocating that you are here, you wanted to say that but you can't because of the tape and all you don't have a death wish, who knows what this psychopath can do to you if you angered him.
"Now that you are here, where you belong, why don't we get to know each other in person? Well, I know everything about you so it would be fair if you know everything about me too but let's not hurry since you are going to spend your whole life here. Aww, don't cry, I know that you are happy to hear it but don't cry, baby. It makes me feel like I have done something wrong."
Namjoon's reaction is a bit shorter than the other, sorry about that. This is my first ever reaction so please bear with me. I hope you guys like it!
#bangtanarmynet#member#yandere!bts#bts#bts reaction#bts yander reaction#mafia!bts#kidnapping#stalker#online friend#drug dealer#reader insert#scarlet2007#bts hyung line#namjoon#rm#jin#seokjin#yoongi#suga#hoseok#j-hope#bangtan#bangtan boys
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A continuation/conclusion of the hacker protagonist and the villain who tricks them into finding the hero. This turned into a double length snippet, so the Read More is included.
Part one here. Part two here.
In the end, it came down to the basic questions that the protagonist had avoided thinking about from the start: What did they want? And What were they prepared to do to get it?
The protagonist threw their keys in the bowl by the door, sat at their desk and stared at their reflection in their monitors. It had been easier to think of themselves as a victim, as a pawn, as a freelancer dabbling in a bit of wickedness. But now they had a hero's blood on their hands and less than 4 hours until 8:00pm, when the villain would come for them. What do you want? What are you prepared to do to get it?
The protagonist tapped their computer awake. An auto-generated tropical paradise pulled up under their login window, and the protagonist stared at it- white sand, cloudless sky, and clear shallow water.
It was as good an answer as any. The protagonist swallowed, and looked around for their old webcam equipment.
...
223 minutes later, the protagonist was sitting in one of the most exclusive restaurants in town, watching the villain savor a third bacon-wrapped foie gras cube.
"Are you going to eat?" they asked mildly, gesturing to the two remaining cubes on the shared appetizer plate. "I didn't think you'd be the type to sulk."
The protagonist folded their hands and checked their watch. "I'm not hungry," they replied, just as calm.
The villain's brow creased - but their phone dinged and they glanced down. The crease deepened. "I need to take this. If you'll excuse me?" they said, already tapping away.
"Sure," the protagonist said, mouth dry. There was a moment as the villain looked at them. "Oh." The protagonist rose and went in search of the restroom. They shut themselves in and waited, heart pounding.
The protagonist intended to wait five minutes, but after about three there was a tremendous crash as the villain's enormous driver/bodyguard/henchman barged in and grabbed them. He marched the protagonist through the suddenly empty dining room back to where the villain waited, face thunderous. They held up their phone and pressed play.
The protagonist's face - scared but brave - filled the screen. "...forced me into helping them. But I cant stand by and let [Hero] die. I'm setting this message to send in four hours, so if you're seeing this, I'm..." The villain cut off the video with a jab of their thumb.
"You got that fast," the protagonist said, trying to twist their arms out of the henchman's grip. He held on tighter. "I thought I'd have to not eat the main course too before it leaked from the heroes' group chat to you."
"Why?" the villain breathed out.
The protagonist gulped, but lifted their chin. "I'm not the type to sulk. Did you watch the whole thing?" they went on quickly, seeing the villain's face go red. "I also identified your home address and your main hideout. Once the others rescue [Hero], that's probably where they're headed. You can beat them there, to all your stuff, if you hurry."
The villain bared their teeth, but whirled to the henchman. "Hold them at the pier location," they snarled, jabbing a thumb at the protagonist. "We have a date to continue. Later." The villain stormed away towards the kitchen exit, tugging their jacket off. The henchman dragged the protagonist out the front.
...
The protagonist got lucky. The henchman took their phone but didn't bother to gag them or even tie their hands before showing them into the car. The advantage of looking harmless. Though that would make the next part harder.
"That was crazy stupid," the henchman muttered, shaking his head as he pulled them away. "You know what [Villain's] going to do to you?"
"Nothing," said the protagonist, leaning back in the seat with a smile they prayed looked confident. "[Villain's] not going to win this one. You're about to be unemployed."
The henchman shook his head. His phone chimed- he glanced down but tucked it away. "He always wins."
"I texted the video at 8:05," the protagonist said, glancing down at their nails. "I emailed it almost 90 minutes ago. Every hero in town is already waiting for [Villain]- and if that doesn't do it, the unscheduled software update that's been draining his suit's battery should finish him off." The henchman's phone chimed again. The protagonist took a breath and put as much chill into their voice as they could. "You should answer your daughter's texts. Daniel."
There was a beat. Then henchman yanked the wheel right. They pulled over in a squeal of brakes, and he spun to face the protagonist. There it was. Anger - and fear. "Family is off limits," he snarled, failing to hide the terror in his eyes. "If you've hurt her-"
"Quite the opposite." The protagonist waved a hand airily, trying not to imagine the henchman crushing their skull in one massive hand. "Your daughter has just been accepted into her second choice college on full scholarship. Sorry, couldn't hack her first choice in time. Loved her essay, by the way. Go on, check."
The henchman stared, but started texting away. The protagonist waited for the slow dawning of amazement on his face before clearing their throat. "Check your bank account too. You've been paid the next 12 months' salary - better than [Villain] can do as his accounts will be frozen momentarily." The protagonist sneered. It looked good in the rearview mirror. "Except the ones I've moved to my name, of course."
The henchman swallowed, looked back at the protagonist. "What do you want?" he whispered.
The protagonist could barely keep from clapping with glee. "[Hero] will swear he saw [Villain] drag me off to my death earlier today. Back him up. Swear that you didn't recognize [Villain's] dinner date tonight - that it was someone they picked up in a bar. My name stays out of it, and I think you'll find your daughter's grad school surprisingly affordable in a few years."
The henchman flicked open a banking app on his phone. Glanced at the number. Closed the phone. Stared at his hands on the steering wheel.
"Where do I drop you off?" he asked meekly.
...
Not long after, the protagonist leaned their head against cool glass and gazed out at the starry night sky through the window of the villain's private plane. The protagonist's private plane for now - just long enough to quietly, anonymously exit the country.
Villain's arrest - and the revelation of their identity - was all over the news and the protagonist was more and more sure they had done it. They had gotten away. They'd taken only a fraction of the villain's ill-gotten wealth but it was enough of a nest egg to live off for the rest of their life, if they budgeted, made investments, all that.
But the protagonist's thoughts kept drifting to all the projects the villain had left unfinished. They'd had some real good plans going, some with people who didn't realize who they were working with. People who might not notice if someone else starting the answering the emails,, calling the shots. It didn't seem too hard; mostly it just needed someone with a bit of start-up cash and a way with thorny problems.
The protagonist sipped their champagne and frowned thoughtfully as the little plane sailed on, carrying them off towards that sunny beach with warm, calm water.
#my fiction#heroes and villains#villains and heroes#protagonistxvillain#hacker#hacker protagonist#100
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ain't it fun? | part 4
Summary: reader just needs an NA meeting before they have a meltdown, they end up with the best friend they could ever make.
Warnings: chronic illness, hurt/comfort, drug use**! spencer and reader smoke weed together; talks of relapse and recovery. Also, a case involving child abductions, getting engaged, love confessions
word count: 2.4k
a/n: not sure how long this is going to keep getting but I am enjoying adding to it
P1 P2 P3
Days like today suck.
She can’t get out of bed, she’s so hungry her stomach is swirling and screaming and there’s a pain in her intestines that feels like someone is eating her from the inside out but she can’t move… and she has to pee but her legs hurt and her head is pounding from the light. It’s 6 am according to the alarm clock, Spencer hasn’t left for work yet and she’s already missing him.
She manages to make it to the bathroom, sitting there for too long after because she can’t find the courage to stand back up.
“Why?” She whispers to herself before the tears start.
Covering her face as she cries, she’s still sitting on the toilet with her underwear around her ankles, sobbing as Spencer walks in.
He helps her up without asking, he’s seen too many bad mornings now to ask if she needs help, he just knows she wants to go back to bed, so he fixes her underwear and picks her up.
When he finally lays her down with all her pillows, he lowers the temperature in the room to relax her bones and gets her a ginger ale to help with the nausea from the pain she’s in. It is a regular occurrence for her to wake up and feel like she’s dying, but Spencer was wonderful when dealing with it.
He’s in the kitchen for a while, she’s worried he’s making something for her to eat that she’ll have to lovingly turn away because she can’t do it right now. Her throat is too tight and it hurts to swallow or talk.
She can hear him talking… he’s on the phone with someone.
When he comes back in, he cuddles into her the way he knows she likes. Soothing his hands over her back in a way that helps the pain while also helping her feel like she’s not alone in all of this. He’ll never understand; but he loves her, so a part of him feels it too.
“You called out?” She whispers against his chest.
He nods, his cheek resting on the top of her head as she feels the friction. “I don’t feel good when you don’t feel good.”
“I’m sorry you had to help.”
He’s told her time and time again that he doesn’t mind.
He would kill for her, he’d clean up the mess if she killed someone. He’d even dig the fucking grave if she needed him too… he wasn’t opposed to being there for her no matter what that entailed.
She just hated the fact he had to, he knew her apology came from her hatred of herself and not the fact she felt sorry for him. She loved the help, it made her feel loved until she felt disappointed in herself for needing it.
“Do you want your medicine?”
She smiles finally, “if you mean my secret joint stash— yes, but if you can’t handle being around me like that, then I don’t need it today.”
“I think I’d like to try it,” Spencer whispers. “If you can smoke weed and not relapse then I think I can too?”
“Probably, but if you can’t, I’ll support you however you need me to?” She smiles up at him, he kisses the tip of her nose as she kisses his chin.
Getting high with Spencer is… interesting to say the least. He doesn’t want a full hit, he just wants a taste and so she takes a drag and blows the smoke from her lungs to his. Sharing a part of themselves in a way they never expected before, this is his most vulnerable moment and he was trusting her with it.
The sunshine hits his face in such a perfect way that as they lay side by side, she can watch his pupil devour his iris as he gets high. Their breathing is steady and their fingers are interlocked. They’re content just blinking together, in the sunshine, quiet. In love.
Her body is so calm, and her mind is slow as she takes it all in and he looks so relaxed. He’s not jittery or caffeine-deprived like most mornings; he’s not anxious or stressed or trying to find a way to pretend he’s fine before leaving for work again, only to come home sad.
He’s okay.
She’s okay.
“It's nice,” he whispers, “but it’s not as good as you.”
She smiles, trying not to laugh at how his thoughts are going to be all jumbled for the next few hours. He’s going to be smart yet stupid at the same time and she couldn’t fucking wait to hear all the things he thinks of.
“I know what you mean,” she agrees.
“This is like a tidal wave..." his ramble starts and she is so excited to see where it takes them. "A tsunami that rushes and relieves just as quickly." His eyes are closed as he talks, visualizing his feelings and it makes her giddy.
"You’re like a volcano; there are so many stages before mass destruction, and even then there’s still the ash cloud and the debris and the lava dries like rocks… the destruction is total and the cleanup will be brutal.”
“I’m addicted to you," his eyes are closed as he talks, visualizing his feelings and it makes her giddy. "Drugs are boring and you’re not,” Simplifying his meaning as his eyes open again.
“I love you,” he says with the same certainty as the first time.
“I love you, too, Spencer,” she didn’t think they’d go down this path when she was blowing into his mouth, she expected him to panic or get horny.
“I don’t think I’ve ever really told you how much.”
He shakes his head lightly, “I wouldn’t be opposed to knowing.”
If she thinks it over, she’ll abandon ship before she can tell him, so she just jumps into it.
“I was a little scared to ask you to help me lock my door that first day because I thought you’d think I was just some junky who couldn’t get their shit together. But the second you asked if I had a local group and you helped me; that was the moment I knew I wanted you in my life for forever.”
He smiles, silent so she can keep going. He’ll take his turn when she’s really done.
“And then when we got to talking it was like I knew you already. Like I had your memories in my mind and as you told me things I was like well duh! Yeah, that’s my Spencer! I don’t know how it happened so fast. One minute you’re a stranger and the next you’re the only person I ever want to see for the rest of my entire fucking life,” it’s more passionate than she expected as she rambles on.
“I can’t get married on paper without losing my disability, but I don’t give a fuck about a piece of paper or someone officially giving us that title one day, I’m content just staying in this bed with you for the rest of time and never moving again.”
He looks like he’s about to explode with love as he presses his lips together in the softest smile. He can’t keep quiet any longer, “are you asking me to spend the rest of my life with you but not marry you?”
She laughs at the realization, “I think so?”
They’re trying to kiss but it ends up more like laughing with their mouths touching and teeth occasionally clashing. It’s hysterical because of the marijuana, sure, but they’re high on each other. It’s everything they’ve ever wanted.
To find something better than drugs; that little purpose in life comes back, that drive to see tomorrow because there are good memories to be made with their favourite person. She’s not afraid of the darkness or the unknowing anymore, Spencer’s her guiding light.
He's holding her close to his chest after a while, "are you feeling better?"
"Of course," she smiles, "I've got my weed and my reid."
His laugh is everything as it fills their space again. This was how the rest of her life was going to feel, and it made her excited for tomorrow.
—
She’s feeling a lot better later and they need Spencer to help Penelope back at work, but he doesn’t want to leave her. She’s in sweats with a blanket on her lap in the corner of Penelope’s office, a book in her hand and a coffee on the table beside her as she listens to them bicker back and forth.
“If you hack the NSA we can no longer use all this as evidence if he’s brought in alive, Penelope!” Spencer whisper shouts at her, afraid to raise his voice at her but wanting to get his point across.
“Hotch needs the aerial shots like yesterday, and the NSA won't get them to us in time for this kid!” She yells back.
“Call google…” Y/N suggests, flipping through her book.
“What?” Spencer looks at her like she just said the dumbest thing ever.
“They’re taking photos constantly for their maps program, my mom was saying our new roof is now on the updated map. They might have all the photos saved up, if the FBI asks nicely they might work with you…” she explains, pressing her lips together in a tight smile.
“You’re a genius!” Penelope shouts, dialling the phone and getting JJ to work his media magic for contact at google.
Spencer's smile is one she hasn’t seen before, he’s not only proud of her; he looks a little turned on. She just cracked the case by knowing all the little hacks about the internet as part of her day job. She lived online, and now she was saving lives because of it.
It was a good case to help on, she got to see 3 kids go home to their parents and know a terrible man was going to rot in prison for the rest of his sad and pathetic life. The hard part was seeing them go through months of footage of this guy's yard, seeing the child-sized holes he dug up. The disrupted earth and the knowledge of what happened when there wasn’t picture proof.
—
They go to a meeting after work.
They sit side by side, her leg is crossed and resting over his knee as their arms are linked and fingers interlocked. They really couldn’t be any closer if they tried. They just wanted to listen today, to know they were in a room of people who were trying, people who understood and battled every bad feeling they did.
“Y/N,” the group leader calls her out just before the end of the meeting, “it’s nice to see you back here with Spencer, we heard you found another group but it’s nice to see you here for the support.”
“Thank you,” she smiled. “I’m sorry I couldn’t stay, but as you can see he is distracting.” She gestured to how they were sitting with a small giggle. “I like coming here if you guys don’t mind me occasionally dropping by?”
“By all means,” another member, carol, spoke up. “Spencer is a great sponsor, it’s nice to see him happy.”
She didn’t know he was a sponsor but he thanks her for the compliment, it turns out almost everyone in his group turned to Spencer for support. It was comforting to everyone there to know the real, chemical and biological reasoning behind their addictions. Spencer provided a sense of calm for all of them, like a younger brother; they all loved him dearly.
They’re still holding hands as they walk home, the sun is still setting and it's barely even 7 pm. All the lights on the street are on, shops are closing and the sidewalks are bare. One store is still open however, across the street, she can see the big storefront window, illuminated with the brightest lights to show off a new collection of rings.
“Do you want one?” He notices her eyes darting to the light like a moth to a flame.
“What?” She zones back in when he stops walking.
“A ring, do you want to get one?” He clarifies with the softest voice.
She nods softly, “you should get one too though, seeing as I asked you and everything.”
He grips her hand tighter and they dart across the street. Giggling like children running to the playground, they’re almost out of breath from laughing as they open the shop door with a ding. Smiles on their faces, joy in their hearts, it makes the shop owner swoon as she sees them.
“Did you just get engaged?” She pries with a knowing smile.
They nod, “we just need some rings,” Y/N adds.
She waves them over, “well I’m going to need our sizes first, here try these on.” She hands them what looks like a thin ruler with holes spaces out.
Y/N attempts to find the right one, fitting the best into the 9 and a half. Spencer fits into the 11 on the first try like he knew already and the woman just laughs at the way Y/N glares at him with love.
“What kind of rings are we thinking? Do you have a preferred cut, style, size, or colour?”
It’s a lot all at once and she’s never really thought about it, “I love my grandma's ring, do you have any vintage styles?”
“I have vintage-style rings as well as some restored rings from the '20s and '30s,” she brings out a jewellery box from under the counter. “These are all appraised and unique.”
When she takes the lid off, Y/N’s eyes widen at the view. There are at least 50 rings in their velvet beds as they wait patiently to be tried on; all different shapes sizes and colours like she said. It feels a little overwhelming at first but then her eyes land on a green one. She takes it out slowly and slides it over her ring finger.
It’s perfect.
Spencer picks out a nice gold band to match, he pays and the lady is so happy to watch them leave hand in hand with their new rings. Dedicated to each other forever and ever, he was her person for the rest of time because he said so and that’s as good as a piece of paper.
She’s a completely different person from who she was when she woke up; twirling down the street with the love of her life, high on loving him as he makes her laugh and holds her hand. He stops in the middle of the street and places his hands on her cheeks, drawing her in closer.
“Loving you is so much fun.”
“Ain’t it fun?” She agrees with a smile before pressing their lips together.
taglist:
@g0lden-cth @doctorspenceryeet @samuel-de-champagne-problems @reiding-recs @ssavanessa22 @spookyspence @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria@reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @calm-and-doctor
#spencer reid#spencer reid smut#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#spencer reid self insert#spencer reid request#criminal minds smut#criminal minds imagine#aint it fun#drug tw
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