#YOU KNOW. YOU KNOW.

[velbs]

very intentional to keep challengers in this screenshot

[quietwingsinthesky]

river brainwashing that overtakes her sometimes. not when she’s at the center of violence, but when she loses control of it. river can kill a dozen people and not blink at it, but if the situation goes south, it’s a different story. river will still win, she always wins, but maybe someone got a good shot on her first, knocked her down or took her gun, and suddenly, she’s improvising, she’s falling back on muscle memory and desperation, and she can’t keep her head above water. a thought suppressed here. a whisper of an order she couldn’t hold onto the memory of receiving there. creeping dread that Something is watching her, judging her, ready to hurt her if she messes up.

and most of the time, the doctor isn’t there. river song curls up with blood on her hands and her own breath rasping in her ears and tells herself there’s no one there over and over and over. she takes out her diary, and this part, the doctor will see, the few times he peruses it. bloody fingerprints that shake across the pages as she pieces her life back together. she’s river song. she’s an archeologist. she’s free. no one can ever hurt her again. that’s the real gift of the diary, beyond a way to keep the two of them in sync as best they can try. you have to understand this: river grew up raised by monsters who could take parts of her away by leaving the room when they were done, leave only their impressions deep in her mind. when she was an adult, they kept following her. of course she’d keep such careful track of where she’s been, who she’s become. they’re such easy things to steal.

but when the doctor’s there. when he’s there, the whole world becomes him. that’s not so different from usual. that’s how they work, catching each other in their gravity as one passes by, pulling them close even if it burns before they fly too fast and streak off into the great beyond with only the scars and the memories of the encounter. but not now. river wants to crash. river wants the impact’s catharsis, and the promise whispered in her head her whole life that if she can kill him. if she can do the one thing she was made for. then maybe she’ll be left alone.

which is terrifying. the first time she tries to kill the doctor, she tells him she always wanted to marry him first. don’t mistake that for a childhood crush. who else in the world would have her but the man she’s fit to kill. her own parents only know her because she’s a liar sneaking into their lives. no one will save melody pond, but don’t you think she ever wished someone would stand guard over her two thousand years? the only way she can be safe is if she knows she’ll be alone, and the only way the silence will let her go—no more stolen memories, no more spacesuits, no more eyes on the back of her neck that make her turn to face a horror she can’t comprehend and leave her emptied out except for what they’ve told her to be—is if she can kill the doctor.

when the doctor’s there, the weapon that likes to call herself river song needs him dead. i think she’s stabbed him, shot him, beaten him, and he’s taken it, bleeding out the words her needs to find to bring her back. he can take it. (he could do it the easy way, take her mind in his hands and rewire it so that she’s in control of herself again. but he won’t. he might just let her finish him off if he ever did.) river tears him open, and the doctor always tells her that she’ll help him, she’ll save him. he believes that into reality.

face swollen with bruises and hearts beating his blood out to pool beneath him, and he touches river gently when she tells him to die already. cups her face and strokes her cheek with his thumb. shows off a tooth she knocked loose when he smiles at her.

no one will save melody pond, but river knows how to save herself. picture her bowed over the doctor’s broken body, holding onto him so tight. no more regenerations left to breathe into him, but she sees how she turned her blade, how she aimed too low to hit anything vital. imagine the doctor seeing her, saying her name again and again to keep her there, even fumbling at her jacket to where she keeps her diary (always close to her heart) because he’s an idiot who will bleed out trying to hand her a book. thinking about her curls matted with drying blood as she bows over him to tell him that, and the rough gurgle of a laugh he gives in response, and the way her heartbeat spikes with fear at the sound. she’d carry him back to his tardis, back home, (you don’t think she couldn’t, do you? she’s river song, and the doctor’s such a twig of a man, even when she’s river’s wife.)

you don’t get out of brainwashing once with a kiss. she lives through that shattering of self again and again. but she does live through it. and so does the doctor.

(but not without her asking him to implant another recoridng device in her for the next few months, so that she’ll know there’s nothing there whenever she looks away.)

[ghcstcd]

Dewther kisses. Dewther holding hands. Dew being so sweet on Aether.

[ghostzzy]

vampires………

[thecat-inthehat]

SCUSE ME WHILE I JUST

[textualviolence]

René Girard: "Deceit, Desire and the Novel"

[swantonbomb]

it’s just that every emotion i have i can feel it pulsing across every inch of my skin and i can feel the way i want to rip you apart and live in the gore i want to push until we coalesce into rot i want to be there when the stray dogs burst our stomachs open

[snakeliciousbaby]

Me and my Husband, we’re sticking together.

[mangoisms]

god why does dog days are over havw to Be Like That

[vessels-for-good-intent]

@maxypuz .

guy who's stuck in a timeloop for so long he stops wanting to leave it. guy who started out trying to escape but slowly grew used to and became comforted by the familiarity of the repeating day. guy who is no longer who he was before the timeloop. guy who is offered a way out and violently refuses it because he can't leave, doesn't want to leave. guy who escapes the timeloop by chance or force or accident and doesn't know how to live anymore. guy who keeps going through motions that don't match the situation and keeps having conversations that aren't actually occurring. guy who panics every time he realizes he can't predict the next instant. guy who left the timeloop but still lives with it.

[paintedcrows]

Did anyone tell Ford (bonus doodles: Family Movie Night, 70s Classics)

[quietwingsinthesky]

but essential to any version of this au to me is you imagine the six of them squatting in an house, maybe abandoned, maybe for sale, maybe the summer home of a more fortunate family. twelve finished calling clara ten minutes ago, and like always, no one can tell if he’s happy or despondent about it, maybe both at once, but at least it’s raining outside to set the right tone for his brooding. eleven has his feet propped on twelve’s guitar case despite being told not to do that a million times, head on thirteen’s thigh while he reads because it’s getting dark out but thirteen has one of those novelty headband flashlights to read by herself and if he positions his book right, he catches enough light to make out his own pages. fifteen got into the neighbors’ wifi an hour ago and is finishing his online university assignments on the dinky old laptop they have, the one with a crack down the side from that time thirteen dropped it a year ago and the eclectic collection stickers they’ve all slapped on there (a slightly ripped yoda says ‘do or do not-’ overlapped by all-caps ‘SEX EDUCATION SAVES LIVES’), and he left his trail mix alone long enough that ten has stolen it and eaten half. nine’s gotten the sleeping bags rolled out, and he’s only half-awake listening to the rest of them bicker, and times like this, he doesn’t feel any guilt about this being the life they have because for all the problems, it’s a happy one.

[victusinveritas]

For those not in the know, this is one of the Amanita mushrooms referred to as a Destroying Angel. Never, ever, ever, ever forage with an app. Especially for mushrooms.

[bixels]

As gen-AI becomes more normalized (Chappell Roan encouraging it, grifters on the rise, young artists using it), I wanna express how I will never turn to it because it fundamentally bores me to my core. There is no reason for me to want to use gen-AI because I will never want to give up my autonomy in creating art. I never want to become reliant on an inhuman object for expression, least of all if that object is created and controlled by tech companies. I draw not because I want a drawing but because I love the process of drawing. So even in a future where everyone’s accepted it, I’m never gonna sway on this.

[inbabylontheywept]

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.