#YES THIS IS ALL VIBES NO I DON'T CARE
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okay, whoever started the whole thing about alex looking like a rat is fully responsible for the fact i am now the proud owner of a plush jellycat rat named alex 🫠
#i saw him when i was out shopping with people today and i simply couldn’t resist him#tell me he doesn’t give you alex vibes 🥺#like just pop him in an “i don't give a damn” t shirt and some high waisted trousers and who'd know the difference#yes i may have lost it#do i care?#no#i should never ever be allowed in shops with plush animals when i'm hormonal#or at all actually#if anything my susceptibility to buying them has only worsened as i've got older#maybe it's because i grew up way too fast and now late twenties me has decided fuck it#it's time to enjoy the things i didn't get to when i was younger#anyway yeah i couldn't resist sharing him#i am simply enamoured 🥺#now i just need to find a little turtle to keep him company...#lulu posts
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so i started this show and it just gets worse and worseeeee not only did it lift the romance subplot directly from twilight (and not well) but they also are trying to play the forbidden love angle hard in the fantasy racism vein except it's a "cross-species" relationship between the two whitest people i've ever seen in my life and there are three people of color in the whole (first season of the) show who aren't villains and it seems that every other episode (and sometimes ebery episode and sometimes twice an episode!) there is a man physically or magically subjugating a woman and i keep waiting for the big reveal at the end to be stolen from fucking rainbow rowell
#yes i read 'carry on' by rainbow rowell in middle school what else could you have possibly expected from me. anyway she gives me simon snow#vibes and not in a good way and she's even blonde while her british vampire boyfriend has dark dark hair and just. you will never be basil.#also i hate to be that guy but the writing has made me physically recoil and the acting almost reads as silly but mostly as middling :/ and#i wanted and expected more from matthew goode bc i really liked him in downton but i guess this is a 2018 bbc modern vampire fantasty serie#like i guess.#also there's SO much shit about bloodlines and maybe i'm gay with a blood disorder amd a family history of adoption but like. who fucking#careeessssssssss it ahould not be that serious. why is it that serious.#also the fantasy racism kind of reads like it's mesnt to be? homophobic adjacent? like there's a Lot of 'love who you love' talk going on#for the single most bland heterosexual relationship i've ever seen on a screen like there is so little chemistry? so little#anyway it's called 'a discovery of witches' and i'd recommend not watching it 🫶 or if you do then watch it on 1.5x speed#it's been decent background noise for knitting bc i kinda sorta care about the plot but if miss a chunk bc i'm in the lace chart zone i do#not care and i do not have to go back to catch it bc the writing is so transparent#there was another series it stole from that's escaping me atm but when i noticed it pissed me off a touch. hmm maybe it will come back to m#a post#do not watch this show#I REMEMBERED they wanted the juliette holding diana captive moment to be joaquin's 'i want to watch you fuck her' from sense8 SOOOOO BAD bu#it WASN'T bc they were too afraid to lean into anything that would make juliette interesting at all. for being all about the world's most#special blonde woman this show does not seem to like women very much. sad! well there's other shows#OH ALSO ALSO there are 3 magical 'creature' species which are witch + vampire + femon except the demons don't seem? to have any magical#abilities that humans don't have besides sensing the species of other creatures? like witches can cast spells and vampires do their various#vampire things but demons have nothing going for them except disproportionately high rates of homelessness and suicide?? like girl what are#we doingggggggg what are we doing here !! what's their deal why does no one care !! can they do anything or no !! god this show sucks
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#when i was first coloring him in he was gonna be golden chinchilla colored but then i was like ehhh jonah magnus should be red/orange but#elias should be gray ...so i just desaturated what i already did instead of recoloring lol but#he is now supposed to be shaded silver lol#but thats why his coat pattern is on the darker side compared to what it *should* be#og elias bouchard coming from an important/roch family and while whole thing with thinking he just *deserves* stuff bc of his upbringing.#etc. -> he is purebred and matches the breed standards etc for a scottish fold of his color#obviously the eye color doesn't matter because. ahaha#i thought elias fit the Scottish fold vibes because: Scottish folds are known for looking sort of like owls and having intense eyes#and the cat body/face type (also present in british shorthairs) to me gives off sort of... unnasumming vibes?#like ahaha yes i am a boring boss who loves paperwork look at how unnasumming i am season 1-2 elias y'know#trying to think of what cat breed jonah would be. and also jon gerry etc you know all the other characters i like#would it be boring to have multiple british shorthairs#i mean..#Michael shelley/distortion is a laperm that's all I know#i didn't particularly care with the personality attributes associated with eliascat because it didn't need to fit his personality on account#of not being his original body. but i do try to keep in mind the best personality/look/etc. cat attributes as a whole for a character#also sometimes get obsessed with jt making historical and geographical sense but then it just limits me greatly to a point im not into it#so i don't care about specific breeds in that respect lol#tma#my art#elias bouchard#the magnus archives#some notes looking back(made it 2 hours ago but still looking back ok..) on it now are that i feel like elias would never choose this breed#for his next bodyhop because of the inherent health issues in scottish folds. I saw the breed was created in like the early 1960s and#assumed that maybe the health issues wouldn't have been common knowledge until later enough for jonah to be unaware of them but actually no#there's legislation about it like 6 years later LOL so jonah would..maybe not make this choice#i guess in the future when drawing i will just make him a British shorthair#my catTMA is simultaneously 'they are just regular cats or like all show cats or something' and 'exact tma plot but as intelligent cats'#LOL its just vague in my mind idk..also maybe jon can be an Abyssinian#ALSO WHAT WAS I THINKING 'jonah may not have been aware about x thing' like did i...did i forget. me 2 hours ago was dumb as rocks
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#I'm using this meme wrong yes i know#no i don't care#Listen all am saying Is that#Charlotte Evans#and#Alan Crawford#Are like the more fluffy anime version of fluttercord if like discord was more chill and met season 1 fluttershy#I will be killing myself now for making that comparison#/jk#Something something years passed and I'm still cringe#Cringe it's a way of life not a phase#And the only thing i succeed at too#Ikenaikyo#fluttercord#i'm giving the disgraced noble lady i rescued a crash course in naughtiness#konyaku haki sareta reijou wo hirotta ore ga ikenai koto wo oshiekomu#Anime#It's the vibes man the vibes#Also that one scene when all the animals just vame to Charolette made me only see fluttershy#Like kill me if you must but i speak the truth#Please#MLP#MLP:FIM#Discoshy#LMAO#Do charolette and alan have a ship name?#Meme#Anime memes#Mlp memes
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"You'll come back," Manon said.
It sounded like more of a threat than anything
Dorian smirked. "Would you miss me if I didn't?"
Manon didn't reply. He didn't know why he expected her to.
He'd taken all of a step, when Asterin clasped his shoulder. "In and out, quick as you can," she warned him. "Take care of Narene." Worry indeed shone in the Second's gold-flecked black eyes. Dorian bowed his head. "With my life," he promised as he approached her mount and grasped the dangling reins. He didn't fail to miss the gratitude that softened Asterin's features. Or that Manon had already turned away from him.
A fool to start down this path with her. He should have known better.
The hours that passed were some of the longest of Manon's existence.
From anticipation, she told herself. Of what she had to do.
Abraxos, unsurprisingly, found them within an hour, his reins sliced from the struggle he'd no doubt waged and won with Sorrel. He waited, however, beside Manon in silence, wholly focused upon the gate where Dorian and Narene had vanished.
Time dripped by. The king's sword was constant weight at her side. She cursed herself for needing to prove-to him, to herself-that she refused to let him go into Morath for practical, ordinary reasons. Erawan wasn't at the Ferian Gap. It'd be safer. Somewhat. But if the Matrons were there … That was why he'd gone. To learn if they were. To see if Petrah truly commanded the host there, and how many Ironteeth were present. He had not been trained as a spy, but he'd grown up in a court where people wielded smiles and clothes like weapons. He knew how to blend in, how to listen. How to make people see what they wished to see. She'd sent Elide into the dungeons of Morath, Darkness damn her. Sending the King of Adarlan into the Ferian Gap was no different.
It didn't stop her breath from escaping when Abraxos stiffened, scanning the sky. As if he heard something they couldn't.
And it was the joy that sparked in her mount's eyes that told her.
Moments later, Narene sailed toward them, making a lazy path over the mountains, a dark-haired, pale-skinned rider atop her. He'd truly been able to change parts of himself. Had made his face nearly unrecognizable. And kept it that way.
Asterin rushed toward the mare, and even Manon blinked as her Second threw her arms around Narene's neck. Holding her tight. The mare only leaned her head against Asterin's back and huffed.
Manon hadn't dwelled long on what she'd say.
And as the three hundred Ironteeth witches filed into the hall, some coming off their patrols, Manon half wondered if she should have. They watched her, watched the Thirteen, with a wary disdain.
Their disgraced Wing Leader; their fallen Heir.
When all were gathered, Petrah, still standing in the doorway where she'd appeared, merely said, "My life debt for an audience, Blackbeak."
Manon swallowed, her tongue as dry as paper. Seated atop Abraxos, she could see every shifting movement in the crowd, the wide eyes or hands gripping swords.
"I will not tell you the particulars of who I am," Manon said at last. "For I think you have already heard them."
"Crochan bitch," someone spat.
Manon set her eyes on the Blackbeaks, stone-faced where the others bristled with hatred. It was for them she spoke, for them she had come here.
jacket, then hoisting up her white shirt. Rising in the stirrups to bare her scarred, brutalized abdomen. "She does not lie."
UNCLEAN
There, the word remained stamped. Would always be stamped.
"How many of you," Asterin called out, "have been similarly branded? By your Matron, by your coven leader? How many of you have had your stillborn witchlings burned before you might hold them?"
The silence that fell now was different from before. Shaking shuddering.
Manon glanced at the Thirteen to find tears in Ghislaine's eyes as she took in the brand on Asterin's womb. Tears in the eyes of all of them, who had not known. And it was for those tears, which Manon had never seen, that she faced the host again.
"You will be killed in this war, or after it. And you will never see our homeland again."
"What is it that you want, Blackbeak?" Petrah asked from the archway.
"Ride with us," Manon breathed. "Fly with us.
Against Morath. Against the people who would keep you from your homeland, your future." Murmuring broke out again. Manon pushed ahead, "An Ironteeth-Crochan alliance. Perhaps one to break our curse at last."
Again, that shuddering silence. Like a storm about to break Asterin sat back in the saddle, but kept her shirt open.
"The choice of how our people's future shall be shaped is yours," Manon told each of the witches assembled, all the Blackbeaks who might fly to war and never return. "But I will tell you this." Her hands shook, and she fisted them on her thighs. "There is a better world out there. And I have seen it."
Even the Thirteen looked toward her now.
"I have seen witch and human and Fae dwell together in peace. And it is not weakness to do so, but a strength. I have met kings and queens whose love for their kingdoms, their peoples, is so great that the self is secondary. Whose love for their people is so strong that even in the face of unthinkable odds, they do the impossible."
Manon lifted her chin. "You are my people. Whether my grandmother decrees it so or not, you are my people, and always will be. But I will fly against you, if need be, to ensure that there is a future for those who cannot fight for it themselves. Too long have we preyed on the weak, relished doing so. It is time that we became better than our foremothers." The words she had given the Thirteen months ago. "There is a better world out there," she said again. "And I will fight for it." She turned Abraxos away, toward the plunge behind them. "Will you?"
Manon nodded to Petrah. Eyes bright, the Heir only nodded back. They would be permitted to leave as they had arrived: unharmed.
So Manon nudged Abraxos, and he leaped into the sky, the Thirteen following suit.
Not a child of war. But of peace.
#Dorian Havilliard#Manon Blackbeak#Chapter 43#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#1st read-readW me-read along-no spoilers please-chapter spoilers in the post&tag+more notes/quotes/ reacts/annotations/etc-ordinary dagger#would be his only weapon-and the magic in his veins-If I don't come back he said while she tied the ancient blade2her keys must go2Terrasen#the only place he could think of-even if Aelin wasn't ther2take them-them u'll come back Manon said It sounded like more of a threat than#Dorian smirked Wouldumiss me if I didn't-Take care of Narene Worry indeed shone in the 2nd gold-flecked black eyes-A fool2start down this#pathW her He should have known better-hours that passed were some of the longest of Manon's existence-Time dripped byKings sword a weight at#her sideShe cursed herself4needing2prove-2him2herself-that she had-she refused2let him go in2Morath4practical ordinary reasons Erawan wasnt#Ferian Gap Itd b safer Somewhat-He had not been trained as a spy but hed grown up in a court where people wielded smiles&clothes like weapon#He knew how2blend in how2listenHow2make people see what they wished2see-She'd sent Elide in2the dungeons of Morath-Darkness dam her it didnt#s2p her breath from escaping when Abraxos stiffened scanning the skyAs if he heard something they couldn't-& it was the joy that sparked in#her mounts eyes that2ld her-Asterin rushed2ward the mare&even Manon blinked as her 2nd threw her arms around Narenes neck Holding her tight-#Their disgraced Wing Leader; their fallen Heir-It was4them she spoke4them she had come here-Crochan bitch-hell no that's a witch queen-She#doesnt lie-UNCLEAN There the word remained stamped Would always bstamped How many of U-silence that fell now was different from be4 shaking#shuddering-Tears in the eyes of all of them who hadnt known&it was4those tears which Manon had never seen that she faced the host againManon#ifted her chin u are my people-Whether my gr&mother decrees it so or notuare my people&always will bBut I will fly againstuif need B2ensure#theres future4those who cannot fight4it themselves2o long have we preyed on the weak relished doing so It is time that we became better than#our4emothers-words shes given the13-Theres a better world out there she said again-& I will fight4it She turned Abraxos away2ward the plunge#behind them Will u-their if u die ill kill u vibe-ugh obviouslyulove each other just get over it-warned hum-my life-gratitude even softened#the witch-Shapeshifter-bye bluebell birdie-His ice-the Valg-just this once-if it keeps them alive then good enough-him&Vesta-terse-dont let#Aelin go4them either please-& the magic in his veins-his true weapon is smarts-come back-she cared her eyes say it all-Wmy life-not a fool#just in love-colds their middle name-her waiting😭-Lys would bproud of his skill-joy in wyverns is giving cuz she screamed4U like I did-Petra#their fallen Heir-a life debt-yes I had2switch2short dashes there’s just2o much going on all the time-4 them she spoke2gather2save-Asterin b#b-made-are monsters born or maid chicken egg wyvern solved-only queen-k how old r they-glory-always-my bb13crying2gether now imma cry-ur#Future is giving a better world vibes-I have seen it-a good queen-real love-u are my people-yes Manon speech-not a child of war but of peace#Manorian#The Thirteen
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Earthspark should do a Halloween episode. And a Thanksgiving episode. And a Christmas episode. Given that the Terrans are interested in learning a lot about Earth culture, it would be a missed opportunity if we don't actually get an episode of each holiday, and I can see some interesting plot ideas for each one. The Halloween one could have the Terrans meeting some more of the kids in Witwicky or Philadephia who are Robby and Mo's friends. The Thanksgiving episode could actually introduce more of the extended Malto family, or have a small cameo of a Transformer balloon at the not-Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade or Optimus having to pardon a turkey. The Christmas one could explore the different celebrations at that time of year, maybe have the Terrans experience snow for the first time, or have them meet Santa Claus or whatever. Earthspark is just good for a bunch of holiday centric episodes.
I saw the words "introduce more of the extended Malto family" and my first thought was LET THE TERRANS MEET THEIR GRANDPARENTS IF THEY NOW HAVE ANY
Like
Give us the most loving grandparents that seem like they came out of a kids cartoon to the already rich in mentor / familial figures Terrans. Because I think that would be sweet and hilarious as hell.
I feel like a Halloween episode would be a rather good detective episode too ngl (that or an episode involving Tarantulas again!)
Also the Maltobots experiencing snow for the first time!
Okay the idea of Optimus getting to pardon a turkey gives me the image of him literally carrying around a turkey everywhere the entire episode, and he either gives it a goofy name or a funnily formal name.
I'd love love love to see more of Alex and Dot's life before they got involved with the transformers (at the least stuff from before the war ended), and them meeting with family and doing all the holiday stuff is a perfect opportunity
They probably wouldn't even dare do it in canon but I just got the lovely idea of someone trying their best to get Megatron and Optimus under the mistletoe
Hell I don't care if it's some generic funny in universe holiday, considering how we saw mother's day I feel like that's less likely, but it'd be still fun because it conveys what I'm focusing on myself: the sense of family and learning new things we see consistently throughout the series with the Maltos.
#maccadam#transformers#transformers earthspark#i don't even usually celebrate any holidays lol#tfe tarantulas#tfe megatron#tfe optimus prime#megop#because yes#tfe robby#tfe mo#tfe dot malto#tfe alex malto#i don't even care what holiday is chosen#just the vibes#do you know how sweet it would be to see alex and dot plan their Christmas stuff and talk about past years with fond nostalgia#SOMEONE SHOULD FACEPLANT INTO THE SNOW#also the perfect opportunity to discuss possible energon goodies#like#of all the parts of idw i think earthspark needs the most it's that. plz. hasbro. it would be so cool and sweet to give the mecha treats#ALSO HARMLESS OR SEMI-HARMLESS DECEPTICON SHENANIGANS
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colorful funky space friends
hm kinda sus tbh
#shading is overrated#and proportions and accurate size differences are also overrated lol#anyways#sussy space friends au#if there was an au this is probably the colors I'd go for#the letsplay inspo vibes may not quite match up with most colors but it's all mostly just guidelines rather than acual rules really tbh#it's all just vibes so who cares really ha#there's a couple more dudes I'd probably want to include but they wouldn't get the most fitting colors lol ah well they'd manage I'm sure#rn I'm too lazy to add more either way ha#so ye anyways#just doodled this bc I felt like it and wanted to help myself visualize all the dang colors on the correct people so ye#messy and lazy but fulfills its purpose well enough atm at least#so ye#maybe you wouldn't agree with the color choices but with my own au and ideas these combos work just fine ha#so agree to disagree and all that#either way I'm just vibin#lazy doodle is lazy and not very serious so ye feel free to ignore and all that#enjoy or don't#whatever floats your boat#fnf au#fnf amongus au#boyfriend#girlfriend#pico#whitty#hex#carol#ruv#sarv#I draw what I want
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I love being an out of the closet bisexual in a conservative (with mostly Christian) students, because sometimes you'll have people who are rude and gross (which isn't fun) and then other times you'll have people who aren't out the closet know that they at least have someone else on their side, or people that don't even realize that they aren't straight or cis, and they'll start learning and figuring themselves out and you get to watch that journey and support them through it. Other times you'll have someone who comes from a homophobic family, and are so excited to be able to talk to someone that's LGBTQ+ so they can ask questions and learn about us, and I honestly think that's really sweet <3<3
#lgbtq community#lgbtqia#lgbtq#I just think it's so worth it to deal with gross people so that other people don't feel so alone#I know I really appreciated that my first semester#so I'm really happy that I get to do that for other people#plus#it also helps me get a vibe check on people#if people start avoiding me because I start putting a pride pin on my backpack?#good riddance#I don't want to hang out with you anyway#If someone who comes from a homophobic family wants to ask me questions so they can unlearn that behavior?#YES#I love that and I will gladly help in anyway I can#anyway#all this to say I've recently met a guy who comes from a homophobic family that really wants to learn about the community#and I suspect is also in the closet#just because he has told me a lot that he doesn't really care about the gender of who he's dating#but he also swears that he's straight#so if it turns out that he isn't heterosexual then I hope I get to see him figure himself out
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I've had a few conversations recently, mostly with castmates, where they are very surprised to learn that I am 30. They keep pegging me as early 20's. And like...it keeps making me feel uncomfortable instead of flattered. And I've been wondering why because I really don't think I've unlearned the whole "30 is old" thing THAT well despite my best efforts.
And I think it might be partially because I kind of feel like I've been tricking them? Like oh no these 20 year olds thought I was one of them but actually I am a gross creepy old person. And partially also because I'm afraid that they're actually calling my actions immature? Like you thought I was younger because I don't act like a "real adult"? I don't know.
Like they literally keep staring at me open mouthed that happened more than once. Stop doing that! It makes me feel weird :(
#this feels like a brag but it's not#I look normal!!!!! people who are 30 don't look old!!!!#maybe that is a much deeper misconception in the public consciousness of young people than I thought#and I have actually done an ok job at unlearning it??? I don't know#I will say that in the last few years I feel like I have lost all ability to tell what age people are#like I was never good at it but I look at people now like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#so maybe part of it is learning that these people are younger than I thought#like you're 22??? a child????#anyway I feel like what I am afraid of is that I am doing the adulting thing SO BAD that it gives off the impression#that I am a decade younger than I am#IS IT THAT OBVIOUS#the more I think about it the more I realize people tend to ask a lot if I'm in school#I mean no insult to college students but “college aged” is NOT the vibe I want to give off#ah yes that person obviously looks of the age where they barely know how to take care of themselves and don't know anything about life!#LIKE IT'S TRUE BUT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY IT TO MY FACE LIKE THAT#“oh wow you're old enough to be my acutal mom!”#SHUT!!! THE FUCK UP!!! IT'S WEIRD TO ME TOO!!!!
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(´・ᴗ・ ` )
#I really like the “We're the bad guys' enemy” line. For someone I generally despise Dazai has all my favourite lines in this show…#Idk I can't really vibe with the unbalance that there is between s/kk.#Like when push comes to shove‚ Dazai has the power to keep Chuuya alive or let him die.#I understand why they make a compelling dynamic in their complexity‚ but it just doesn't do it for me.#I'm a little sad my opinion on them hasn't really changed since I watched the anime for the first time...#Also; I really can't vibe with Chuuya allowing Dazai to kill Q. Yes I know Chuuya cares about his comrades deeply.#Yes I know it can be interpreted as Chuuya seeing himself in Q as a living weapon and being disgusted by it#(though I honestly don't think that was intentional of the author).#Yes I know Chuuya is a mafioso and kills people. No I don't think your personal issues justify you being a dick to other people I'm sorry.#Back to my main annoyance with the episode: I must have already talked about this but I hate hate hate the narrative#“the mafia works for the city” “the mafia deeply loves the city too” it's so so sickening and insulting please stop I'm begging.#Please visit any actual city with a rooted mafia presence for once in your life (signed: someone whose hometown was destroyed by the mafia.#The writers really don't know what they're talking about and‚ politely‚ it's offensive.)#Also b/sd keeping being extremely nationalist with Mori (who's largely depicted unsimphatetically for the first part of the episode)–#bringing up western thinkers and subtly mocking Fukuzawa for not knowing them–#and Fukuzawa (the righteous man. the noble spirit and just soul in this episode and Mori's antithesis)–#stepping forward to say that he knows strategists from the east (because who else would he need?)#I don't know if it's meant to symbolize the conflict with an hostile and invading foreign power (the Guild).#But it does come across as. A very isolationist way of thinking.#I know it's subtle but it's really evident for me. And I didn't want to talk about this any further…#But by bringing actual examples of this I hope I can better explain why I think that b/sd holds nationalist views–#and that I'm not just making it up out of nowhere. Otherwise I fear I'd only come off as pettily hostile to b/sd in everything#That's it. I feel like I've been losing a lot of mutuals over my main recently due to not shutting up (sorry)#so I suppose it's only fair I lose them on here too pffttt.#Tune in next week for more bad takes#random rambles
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Longclaw is canon to this blog actually
#im still cooking this in the back of my mind but yes#sonic & his big powerful guardian bird mom#i dont think i want her dead here i want a narrative that feels like#hero & mentor parting ways#with longclaw having taken care of him & helped him master his skills#then allowed him the freedom of choosing his own path to walk#i think it'd be very neat to explore actually#i love longclaw sm she's always given me BIG guardians of ga'hoole vibes#which is one of my fav movies of all times#☆ . ( ˢᵗᵘᵈʸ ) don't stop to look back again / don't fall .
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im still kinda new to tennisblr and kind of intimidated by you but I think you're cool as fuck. your username slaps and everything you post is always on point. anyway, have a good night!
aw anon you're so kind! i understand being intimidated at first, it's the same for me usually, but just letting you know if you ever want to shoot me an ask, a dm, reply to my posts, tag me, anything, i really am totally chill with it. i am so not cool, like have you seen me have 1.5 breakdowns a day gjfvj that's nice of you to say tho but yeah, i'm chiller than i seem i guess and i'd like you to feel welcome here and not intimidated <3 have a good day or night!
#does this make sense i am struggling with everything this morning 🥲#but yes! truly! anyone can talk to me. i truly don't care if we're not mutuals you can be my friend regardless??#i have great friends i'm not mutuals with simply bc i don't vibe with something about their /blog/ which has nothing to do with them as ppl#you know?#this is maybe a tangent but#it's just something i always get the urge to say but then don't bc i'm like no one even cares about you nico no need for all that#but since you said you're intimidated by me i just? i'm putting it out there that i love talking w ppl and i do *not*#care in the slightest if i've never even heard of you if we're not mutuals or any of that it all comes second to me to human interactions#idk if that grammar makes sense but anyway#if i haven't followed you back it doesn't mean i don't wanna talk to you basically.#the fair warning here is that sometimes i take a while to answer bc my mental health isn't great atm so messages can become overwhelming#for me in general no matter who they're from#but i will be happy you're talking to me and reply when i feel okay enough to#......... wow that was a lot now i'm again like who will even care gidvjbn#uh if anon or anyone does. here you go i'm chill i'm not cool i'm a scared cat trembling in a corner who will let u pet me if u approach me#asks
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okay so i am once again in a bit of a pickle due to the fact that i never learn from my mistakes :)
#there's this guy at work that i kind of fancy right?#not the guy from a couple of years ago this is another one and tbh i like him way more like we really vibe#and a couple of months ago we kind of started flirting as a joke? like at first it wasn't even flirting we just paid each other compliments#but it. kind of got out of hand? like now we're DEFINITELY flirting and we hug every time we see each other and so on#and like today he kind of asked me out?? like he asked when we're gonna go out and i generically said whenever he wants so uhhh#i bought some time but also i basically said yes OOPS#like ive been thinking i need to chill and slow this down until i figure it out but then i apparently can't stop running my fucking mouthhhh#the thing is. before the summer i did this whole thing to kind of reconnect w my ex#and things seemed to kind of work even though we didn't get together and also she's gonna be out of town for at least another year#but it's not like i have any certainty that when she comes back we're gonna get back together or anything#it's just. she's the love of my life and half the time i think there's no point in dating other people#and then the other half i think i really need to get over it#but the thing is i really care about this guy. i don't want to end up hurting him at all which is probably gonna happen if i keep doing this#I ALWAYS DO THISSSSSS#I ALWAYS JOKINGLY FLIRT W PEOPLE AND THEN IT GETS REAL AND IM OH SHIT NVM DIDN'T MEAN TO DO THAT
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Can you tell me more about this vampire hunter pretending to be domestic? 👀
i can!! i very very very much can!! :D
so. first thing you need to know is that this is an AU of an AU and i've entirely lost the thread. the second thing you need to know is that this AU of an AU is the lovely @cohnal's doing. it read one of my fics and went, "hey, what if [Much Beloved Character] met these guys." and i went, "AUGH. FUCK. YEAH. HELL YEAH."
under a cut due to Paragraphs. o/
o/ !
so. the background information is that there's this little gang of three vampires who've been living together for a long time. they're super close, and have most recently been living in a big old house somewhere that could reasonably be described as 'on the edge of town.' they've been getting a little reckless lately with their feeding, killing people they probably shouldn't and attracting attention when they didn't before. so one day, a vampire hunter comes to town.
the hunter -- we will call him owen -- by virtue of being a hunter, is already a little on the edge of things. his work mostly keeps him alone and separate from others. this is an interesting contrast to the vampires, who have of course been exiled from life but very much behave like family with each other. it's winter, and owen gets trapped with the vampires in their big old house.
the 'pretending at domesticity' was a thing in my original fic -- the vampires sometimes put blood in bowls and sit around the dining room table drinking it as if it's soup; one of them curls up in front of the fireplace and thinks about how if she looks very sweet the others might carry her upstairs like a child to her room -- and it was at least in part about... playing with this image of 'family'? none of the three vampires stays in the 'parent' or 'child' or 'sibling' or 'partner' role for very long in relation to the other two. it's supposed to be a little bit off, a little more mutable, a little of both [hey this set-up looks familiar] and [hey wait that's not supposed to happen].
and the thing my brain has snagged on re: owen is (1) figuring out how he responds to this, as someone who has no family or other long-lasting connections, and (2) where he ends up fitting into this dynamic? because. look. he's trapped in a house full of vampires. his whole job might be killing them, but he's not walking away from this one. i like the idea of him turned more than i like the idea of him drained of blood and dumped in the snow.
so. guy trapped in a house with something family-shaped but not in the traditional sense. the image of him fitting alarmingly well into that family-shape. the image of him bristling with weapons and tension still sitting down at the table to... eat? the image of all of them, three vampires and owen, settling in front of the fireplace as if to share drinks and stories, and that's where one of them sinks their teeth in his neck to make him turn.
#chattering sparrow#hm. on reflection you probably didn't actually need all of those paragraphs. probably i could have been more concise.#however. also. you know i'm going to do this. you know asking me a question gets Multiple Paragraphs back.#i hope you enjoy ^-^ thank you so much for the ask reyni!!#it's very. vibes. right now.#but also know that in my heart there's an unwritten sequel to this unwritten fic where owen has been successfully adopted into the group#and everyone is very [oh yes our beloved pet hunter who is always being a grouch in the corner; we love him so] about it#and i'm ignoring all moral nuances in this hypothetical unwritten sequel to an unwritten fic!! owen gets a hug i don't care about the rest!#sometimes you gotta. such is the way of things. the complications can go in the first unwritten fic instead. [thumbsup].
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Drives me nuts when it comes out that someone's a predator, or whatever, and there will be droves of people saying shit like "gotta look into all the people around them too, no way they didn't know".
'Cause predators and abusers are so notorious for telling everyone around them that they're predators or abusers, right?
Did some of their closest friends know? Maybe, but keep in mind there are people who spend like 10+ years literally married to serial killers and never have any idea.
These people typically aren't obvious about what they do, that's kinda how they get away with doing it so long.
#that being said someone who aggressively insists that every single innocuous thing is 'pedophilic' or 'abusive' probably has some skeletons#but even then they could also just have POCD or something#without being outright told by the perpetrator or catching them in the act or finding irrefutable evidence#(like 600+ pieces of CSEM on a personal hard drive)#you *can't* actually *know*#you can have a really good feeling about it#but *vibes* aren't *facts*#and yes people can absolutely have long-lasting relationships with people who turn out to be predators and have never known#'cause the average person isn't gonna just assume their friend/partner is a child molester or a serial killer#most people inherently assume good in other people and don't jump to the conclusion that someone they care about is dangerous#this isn't actually about anyone specific despite the example I used up there#'cause this happens pretty much any time someone gets verifiably outed as a predator of some kind#and it's starting to really bother me#knock it off a little with this ''guilt by association'' nonsense when you have no evidence at all that the associate even knew anything
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Putting on last year's trans rigs stream from Drawfee before i have to get ready to go out with my mum and her bf today (bc i have the worst feeling in my gut he's gonna make that An Thing for me if given the chance today, aka whenever i eventually need the restroom while we're at Mystic)
#text post#Housemate was amazing and helped me calm down a bit before ae went to work bc my brain woke up in meltdown mode over this tbh#it sucks bc like. im excited to see my mum despite the Everything with that lmao#but im not excited for how her bf has been acting since they got here (and it's been day 1 out of 7 days)#with some outright homophobic comments while Housemate and i hosted them briefly at our house yesterday afternoon#not abt us but like. i mean. u know we're both queer so#doesn't really matter if it's abt us or not it's still fucky and makes me worry abt how he's gonna be today!!#doesn't help that he really wanted to go to Italy with her instead this summer#(despite the passive aggressive complaints from him & mum to a degree abt how expensive it was for them to come out here)#(we're ignoring the fact that a European trip would be even more expensive lmao tho i do think if they want to/can afford it they should go)#like. the Vibe from him has just been that he'll be Just Polite Enough but that he didn't want to be here#and he doesn't expect to have any fun and it's like#dude i am Trying. i and Housemate have looked up stuff to do that includes things he likes (like guns and historical weapons)#we tried making comments abt that yesterday like hey u might like this but if there's anything u have in mind already#and he was just. whatever idc but then made comments that made it clear he's not excited for anything else#like museums or the beach for sea glass hunting or the bird sanctuary or even the zoo#and all have places to rest/sit plus restrooms and food so I don't think it's a worry abt facilities thing for him#i think he's just fed up that I'm still involved in my mum's life since i moved and like#yes there's a detangling of the umbilical cord i and my past therapist were trying to eventually get my mum to cut#since cutting it myself in any attempt has had her metaphorically taping it back together#but like. it's not entirely on me here. I'm trying to set boundaries and make sure she's giving him more attention than me since he's w/her#more than i am now#i know he's upset when she helps me financially too (i offer to pay her back but she always refuses it) bc she took me aside yesterday#to give me some cash for the time with them for souvenirs/fun stuff i might not buy otherwise bc im trying to be mindful of money#aka still waiting on money my fkn job should have already paid me like. a week or more ago now#he makes her happy so even if he hates me i still care abt his frustrating ass#and i do want him to have as much fun as he can while still relaxing during the trip out here#but i feel like im gonna have to physically shake him by the shoulders screaming this before he listens#and even if he listens he probably won't believe me#sorry for the tag essay the edible hasn't kicked in yet can u guys tell lmao
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