#YES THE FRANK DISRESPECT IS GETTING TO ME OK

[clancy-the-pretty-odd-killjoy]

Ok so I feel like I need to yell. So listen.

Illi mcmillin/illi McMillan.

Why the hell does she exist?

To please us as our "official" transfem Gerard.

Since when does she exist?

Since I'm not okay (I promise) got a 4k reupload.

Why am I talking about her?

Because I have a complex relationship with her, and would like to work it out logically rather than screaming: "I HATE THE EVER LOVING FUCK OUT OF THAT BEAUTIFUL PERFECT DISGUSTING CUTIE" whenever I see an illi post.

So, illi in my description?

To me illi is not a 'canon' or 'official' character, because she fucking isn't. Weep if you will hardcore illi mcfaggots. (That's an affectionate name from me btw.) and I also think of her as this: a Gerard fem personal created by the hardcore gee forcefemmers, created by the content starved fans to keep themselves entertained. She isn't real, and never was. The way I see it she's a happy accident. One I love and appreciate but refuse to comply with or fuel the idea that she's real or anything more than a character AU. More than a fan misconception. I love her to death but it irritates me when people swear on Gerard's destroya live vids that she's an official character and that the I'm not okay (I promise) Gerard is trans definitively. Because as I see it, he wasn't. He didn't act feminine in that video anymore than he did in any others. He didn't dress in the respective women's school uniform he wore the same as the others. One could argue that's because "school doesn't always respect trans rights" yes, however it's their music vid and their rules. Mcr chose it not school. They could if they wanted to do it as a representation of reality, but I feel if that was a part of it there would be more scenes showing Gerard (or I guess illi in this discussion) being forcemasced. You could argue that illi wasn't the focus of the video, but in my perception the theme was showing reality and the ugly truth. Franks pills falling form the locker, ray blowing shit up, Mikey kicking the dog dude. So illi could have been represented being forcemasced if they showed franks struggle with pills, why not Gerard's struggle with gender? Because he wasn't fem. Womp waa.

Illi in my description, outside the vid?

She's real, just not official. She's fake yes but the fans made her real. She's no longer a misgendered misnamed MCR character she's a MCR AU/OC. She wasn't born from MCRs brains, but she was born from their music vid and their fandom. So that's enough to make her real and likeable. I love her chaos hardcore but also basic bitch sassy diva personality she's been given. I have literally no issues with her as fan character. But when people try to argue that she's official, I get pissed. I don't want to but I do. Sorry man.

Gerard as a trans girl irl?

No. Unless he specifically says he is trans I won't ever stop being irritated when I see a post that casually uses she/her for Gerard when not even talking about hyper feminizing him. When they just talk about him in general and use she/her pronouns it makes me angry the same way it makes he mad when people call my best friend by she/her and use his legal name instead of his actual name. (We can call him Jake) Because when Jake gets called (Samantha??) it makes he mad because he's being disrespected and disregarded for the identity he has openly announced for himself. So when Gerard gets feminized in a serious way that isn't satirical or for humor, in the way the MCR fandom always does, it hurt my feelings I hate to admit. Because he's opening stated his pronouns as he/they. (At least that's my knowledge of what he's said, if I'm wrong then sue me I'm sorry.) And I believe I once read something about him having said "he identifies a lot with the female gender" in an article talking about an interview, but I'm not certain, either way it was also if I remember correctly specified at the end that although he stated that he goes by he/they. I could be misremembering but that's what I distinctly remember. So while I can appreciate the "he's so girl" and "I wanna make him my wife" jokes and shitposts, I highly dislike when people forcefem him without being joking, and call him female even when the post is not about a feminine version of Gerard. (Yes I know he's worn drag, drag does not define a persons preferences. Drag can be for fun. Just thought I would add this.)

How did illi become a thing if shes fake?

When MCR released a 4k remastered version of their I'm not okay (I promise) music video, and we could read Gerard's report card/graded paper. The name on the top read "illi McMillan" so fans assumed it was the characters name, and upon deeming it a feminine name, concluded that Gerard's character in said music video was a trans femme psychopath named illi. We later found out that illi was the nickname of the prop manager, William McMillan. So alas illi was not canonical. Unfortunately.

Last will and testament;

I love illi McMillan and the idea of trans Gerard, but I DO NOT approve of, support or interact with non-joking, non-satirical renditions of Gerard as trans or the people who wholeheartedly only allow Gerard to be identified to the female gender. illi I will wholeheartedly agree is trans and I willingly interact with illi posts but I do not tend to interact with the posts that refuse to accept illi isn't canonical. They don't piss me off as much as the Gerard misgenderation but they do irritate me just a bit. (Difference on this opinion doesn't mean we can't be friends ofc, but difference of opinion on Gerard outside the music video being forcefemmed does make me uncomfortable because it's misgenderation and therefore is upseting.) I believe The reason the illi canon argument isn't as irritating to me is that at the end of the day illi is an idea and a "what if?" Because we're theorizing about a character from a music video that we can't have a certain answer for. But the Gerard transfem is moreso because he HAS spoken in gender identity and his own personal preferences. And many people blatantly ignore them. In my gentle opinion that's what I refer to as "toxic queer support" supporting the community by not disregarding that gay, queer, trans etc people are real, but in a way that ends up harshly sometimes because we might misgender someone for our own creative benefit. In my opinion it is just as bad to force transgender onto a cisgender person, as it is to force cisgender onto a transgender person.

At the end of the rant, this is just my personal view on the concept of illi and Gerard and gender identity.

If someone openly prefers one image for themselves, respect it. I think it's fucked up we think it's okay to project Certain images onto celebrities because we don't see them as people but more as

Toys for ourselves to reshape and rename.

and that's why we think it's okay to say things about these people that we would never be allowed to say about "regular people"

Because we all know for damn sure that if someone was to talk about their friend, who clearly has stated that they prefer he/they pronouns, used she/her pronouns to refer to them all the time, they would be considered

toxic and dismissive of prefered gender identity.

So can we all treat celebrities with the same basic human respect as we do the people we see everyday? It is that much to ask?

I don't think so.

[vwbugggie]

Fame D.R. First Shift!

Hey y'all!!! Recently I've been seeing a lot of posts about living in the end or living as if you already have what it is that you want. Obviously what I want is to shift so I thought it'd be fun if a wrote out how my first shift wake up would go. So let's all just pretend for a second that I've shifted (OMG!!! CONGRATS BUGGIE!!!! THANK YOU BESTIES!!!! <333 :*)

Comments on my DR (opinions, ideas, etc.) are welcome as long as they are respectful towards me and others! Feel free to ask any questions!

If y’all with Fame DR’s (or any DR; but especially if we have DR’s in common) ever wanna chat my DM's are open, don't be shy! (No minors, sorry!)

Anti-shifters do not interact, I don't care what you think. If you are rude or disrespectful I will block you and delete your comment. I'm not going to argue with you because I simply don't care to. (If you see a rude or disrespectful comment before I can get to it I encourage you not to engage, ignore it, thanks!)

[Also for background we weren't famous when I first shifted, this was at the very beginning of My Chem. Bullets was barely in the works and Frank hadn't joined yet. I hadn't met him, but I did end up meeting him the first day I shifted at the party we went to.]

So this is how my first shift to my Fame D.R. went:

[The day after my two weeks ended and I was officially unemployed, October 1, 2001. I woke up when I felt the bed dip next to me. I kept my eyes closed and didn't move. I felt someone lightly rub my back and gently say]

Gee: Good morning, Bug. Me and Mikey have to go run some errands, afterwards we're gonna pick up Ray, then we'll all come pick you guys up. Then we'll head to the party, ok?

[He looked at me and waited for me to open my eyes.]

Buggie: Yeah, sure 

[I say as I flipped over trying hide the fact that I was freaking out.]

Gee: C’mon Bug, wakey wakey

Buggie: I’m awake

Gee: Prove it

[Finally I opened my eyes and saw Gee smiling down at me, I sat up.]

Buggie: Errands, pick up Ray, then me and Abbi, got it. What time should we be ready by?

Gee: Well we want to be there by eight ish, it's (checks watch) 10:00 so probably 7:00? Gives us enough to finish errands and eat something, sound ok? 

Buggie: Perfect

Gee: Oh, and eat something will you? Real food, not just a Coke. Abbi's cookin', we woulda stuck around and ate with ya, but we’re late

[I nodded my head and held out my arms (a bitch needed a hug fight me)]

Gee: Everything ok?

Buggie: [I nodded my head] Uh huh, I just had a bad dream, would you get Mikey before you guys leave? 

Gee: Sure, I’ll go get him

[I held on for a second, after I let go he stands. A few minutes later Mikey appeared in the doorway.]

Mikey: Hey kid, heard you had a bad dream

[He sits on the bed]

Buggie: Yeah, I just wanted to say bye

[I hugged him, he rubbed my back lightly to comfort me]

Mikey: Wanna talk about it?

Buggie: I’m ok, I don’t wanna make y’all more late

Mikey: Eh, what’s a few more minutes?

Buggie: Really it was nothing, I don’t even really remember it anymore 

Mikey: Ok, but if you need anything just call

Buggie: I will, I’ll see ya later

Mikey: See ya later, kid

The second that door closed I fully freaked out, questioning if this was real, doing reality checks, looking around, grabbing things, you know trying to make sure I was grounded. I was trying to contain my excitement and keep quiet cuz I didn't want to alarm anyone lol. After I somewhat composed myself I ran to my phone to check out my lifa app (yes that's something I kept from old shiftok lol) I explored it a bit, until I was calm, then I decided to go to the kitchen and have breakfast with Abbi.

Just a lil reminder this was me living in the end! I don't want y'all to think I'm lying or anything I just thought this would be fun and helpful for my journey :)

Anyway thanks for reading! Love y'all <3333

[erosjournal]

hi i have an idea and if yall wanna hear pls do.

so, me and my friend were talking and talked abt what could've made the heros of olympus series better. mind you, we r now high schoolers, we first read the series in middle school, like 6th grade. also, they are aro/ace (ish, still questioning) and i like to write + i love valgrace.

(BTW IM DOING THE KEEP READING THING BC ITS LONG AND ID FEEL BAD IF U HAD TO READ ALL THAT WITHOUT IT)

so one of the things we decided would've made it more interesting was if piper and jason never ended up together, like at all. ik im a hardcore valgrace shipper, but my friend isn't and we agreed mutually that this didn't make much sense. their whole relationship was built on false memories and one quest, piper pining over him the whole time. we think that also would've enhanced pipers destiny as an aphrodite kid. an aphrodite kid who never dated in the most "important" part of her life, the main part we follow. an aphrodite kid who couldn't get the boy she'd loved. if she'd never dated, it could've really brought out more of the "aphrodite" part of her identity. i'm bad at explaining, but trust. it makes sense in my head. plus, it could show how she's this aphrodite kid who actually is a lesbian yall. which could've been a rlly interesting aspect, maybe some comphet.

one more thing is that whenever jason talks about piper, as his girlfriend, he comments on her physical aspects. as her platonic friend, he comments on her mind. idk if that makes sense, but when reading it, it felt more like how he'd compliment leo, or frank, or someone who was "just a friend".

plus, it feels weird that all of their friends are dating, maybe it could've caused peer pressure? like how leo felt, always being "7th wheel" (idk i came up with that on the spot)

the next thing was if leo and calypso never fell in love. as said before, im a valgrace shipper and they aren't, but we both thought this was an awkward and toxic relationship. the reason why, i'll get into later, but first i wanna talk about why it could've been better in the series.

we think that it could've been more impactful for calypso's side of the story. yes, i know calypso wasn't a great person in mythology, but we have to think of this from both characters perspectives. this is how my friend put it:

it could've been more impactful for calypso since it would've had an ending that was going against the god's curse of her falling in love with everyone on the island, but they couldn't leave. it would've been more interesting of the one person who did save her, was someone she wasn't in love with. the one person she didn't fall for was the person who actually came back for her.

that would've really made things more interesting for her story.

for leo's side, a (not important, but very hugely stated) part of his character is falling for people as a coping mechanism. idk the quote, but sometime in TLH, he talks about how he falls for people who are impossibly out of his league. ok, maybe this doesn't count as a coping mechanism, but it seems to be. sort of like attachment issues, always on the run since the people who did care about him died/left.

i think that it seems wrong (for rick to write, they could never make me hate you leo... with exceptions) for leo to fall for a girl who was "destined" to fall for him anyways. my poor boy. he'd gone through so much yall :(

and to the point of how caleo is sort of toxic, i haven't read much of toa, but i do find that they both cross boundaries.

for example, calling each other names they don't like. i find it VERY disrespectful for leo to call calypso "mamacita". i don't like her, but all girls deserve respect. she also states how she's told him not to call her that, and by the way he reacts, he knows.

similarly to calypso calling leo "leonidas". i don't have much information on this, but i'll link a tumblr post i read on this.

tumblr post on calypso being her own person (extra, not related to before but some other thing to read)

tumblr post on the name thing (read the whole thing, and check out some of the other reblogs, some are interesting, some are just like "f calypso", so just be careful)

one thing, i think i don't like calypso much, but i will not hate her till 1. i've done more research and 2. have more evidence why. i feel it unfair, and i know many people don't like her. i'm also incredibly biased towards leo, so yeah. but, i will give her the chance till i have more information on the subject.

on that note, i don't like caleo. i quite hate it. but for good reason, from what i've talked about. it was just too forced and toxic, and not good overall. maybe it could've been if it was written different, but i hope u understand where i am coming from. ALSO! I AM NOT A HATER BC I LIKE VALGRACE, IF YOU READ ANY OF THIS YOU'D KNOW THAT. im just saying, caleo could've just stayed platonic. just read it all of this + maybe the other blogs before commenting.

MAYBE I'LL WRITE MORE, BU T THX FOR READING

[funonion001]

I did this instead of working on my oc’s ref sheet. 

[milesmolasses]

I'm gonna kill you

miles morales x reader

if you don’t know what “throwing franks” means it basically means telling someone to “suck my dick” lmao

which reminds me the setting is nyc (bk)

is this what ppl call crack? idk man

"miles I'm not playin with you right now, put my water bottle down I'm thirsty!"

miles walked around the dingy restaurant, my bottle in his hand, which was waved high in the air. "you gon have to come and get it than miss smart mouth! you keep playin with me like I can't beat you up," he joked.

miles has been my best friend ever since the middle of third grade when he switched his elementary school. i remember when he was this tiny, shy kid who sat at the back of the school basement for lunchtime since our school never had a formal lunchroom. all i wanted was to make a new friend, so i walked up to the shy new boy and ate my lunch with him. we would walk home together, play at the park together, and have cute lil playdates scheduled by our mothers; ah, yes, those were the times; up until now.

"bro, my bad, just give me my water bottle my mouth is on fire, no funny shit," i had my tongue out, breathing heavily. my mom owns this restaurant, where she cooks (insert culture) dishes for the world of Brooklyn to enjoy. this space doubled as our hang-out spot, considering i would stop by every day after school for free food. my mom had served me (insert dish) with extra spice; "try something new," they said. "it'll be delicious," they said. while yes, the food was good, the new added spices had me steaming at the ears, tongue out, huffing and puffing like a damn dog.

now you may be wondering, "who the hell told you to do this?" miles. it was always miles. he knows I don't usually stray from the usual dishes that i get every time we come here, but somehow he convinced me that trying something new would be good for me. so, i let him order on my behalf; this dude ordered me (insert cultural food)… with 3x the amount of hot sauce I usually get. leading us to now...

"'my bad' is not an apology, bozo, i need to hear you say what i want you to say," he said with the biggest smile on his face. all i did was throw a frank at him, and he chose to torment me, saying, "i was disrespectful." he wants a sorry? imma give him a damn sorry.

"ok ok I'm sorry, miles please just give me the bottle," this time, my eyebrows were furrowed and i made sure to put my acting skills to the test. miles gave me a worried look, scared that he actually went too far this time in his games. he gave me back the water bottle and came closer to me, examining my face to see if i was ok.

"yo, you good? I'm sorry i didn't know it was that deep. here you go drink this," he looked so sorry. he looked like he really regretted what he did to me, it almost made me feel bad for what i was about to say to him.

almost...

"yeah, it was that deep... deep in ya momma!" i watched as miles face slowly converted from looking worried to "what did this bitch just say to me?" i started to run out of the store as fast as i could, chugging the water down my throat with my mouth still on fire. miles was definitely faster than me, so i decided to hide somewhere, anywhere.

i turned the corner, body jerking forward so fast i almost fell face first into the concrete. i caught myself on my hands just in time as i kept my momentum and ran down the block. i looked behind me and he was literally right there in arms reach of me literally, reaching his arm out to grab me. i grabbed the door handle of an unknown store and stumbled into it.

there i could see several women and young girls look up from what ever they were doing to look at me. just as they were looking at me, miles ran in the store and came to an abrupt stop. great now even more people were staring; it was then i realized all the assortments of nail polish laid out neatly on different shelves. oh my god it was a nail salon. miles looked down at me with eyes wide open and a look on his face that screamed "oh hell nah." a lady from the front desk with a slim figure and a headwrap, came up to us and pulled us to the side.

"I'm sorry, you cant just run into this store and be rowdy. we have customers to attend to and they don't need disturbances." i looked up at miles to see him already responding to the lady with prayer hands, "I an so sorry about my friend here please forgive them, sometimes they're a bit hard to control. i think we'll be leaving now, once again, so sorry," he responded whilst dragging me by the shirt to leave the salon. once we were on the side walk again, i busted out laughing so hard, i had to hunch over and close my eyes to keep tears from falling out.

miles gave me the biggest side eye known to man as i laughed in the middle of the street, looking around for people possibly staring at us.

"i swear to god I'm gonna kill you when i get to your house."

this was fun to write lmao

I was really just writing anything that came to mind

I did this once after 7th grade in the summer with some friends so that’s what I based this on

[mountkennedie]

At the end of the world, or the last thing I see

Hi

I am back to write, but I plan on only writing what I want to and what I enjoy for a while. So no requests for some time. thanks <3

ok enough ab me

Soldier!Ray Toro x Nurse!Gerard Way

Summary: Ray protects Mikey from an explosion but that means injuring himself and a certain nurse has to take care of him

Warnings: Swearing, injuries, internalized homophobia

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“Have you seen the new nurse they dropped in yet?” Frank had asked. 

“No, is she cute?” Ray asked.

“Good luck with that man,” Frank said as they parted. Secret is, Ray didn’t really care for the nurses. The last thing he needed though were people about why he hasn’t lunged at one yet.

“So cute, but she won’t let anyone get too close.”

“Let me go see,” Ray responded, turning to the clinic. 

Upon entering the clinic, he immediately knew who turned around was the new nurse on base. “You don’t look injured,” she concluded. 

“Can’t I just stop by? Maybe to volunteer?” the soldier responded.

“What’s your name, soldier?” Her voice was lovely, and not even to mention how pretty she was. She broke his streak quickly of never liking a nurse. 

“Gee. I like that,” Ray said with a smile.

“Ray, Ray Toro. And yours?”

“Call me Gee.”

“Thank you, Ray is okay,” Gee told him playfully.

“Just okay?” Ray said, walking closer.

“That’s close enough. It’s like you men here are depraved wolves.”

“I didn’t mean any disrespect,” Ray pleaded. 

“They all say that.”

“I still would like to help around though, if I can.”

“I’m good right now, but maybe later.”

“Of course,” Ray finished with a smile. Gee returned it, and they both parted ways. Ray would do anything to have business in that damn clinic, anything to see her again.  

Today was a front lines day. Nothing too wild, they just needed to build some trenches and then they were done. A  battle was unlikely but that never means never. 

Ray being one of the bigger and stronger guys meant he was almost always shipped off for trench building. He didn’t hate it, but the feeling of squelching mud and sweat caked onto your skin was not a good feeling. 

Anyways, accidents were always a possibility as well. Maybe Ray wasn’t listening when they said they would  be testing some explosives today. At least he wasn’t the only one. Mikey too seemed unaware. 

“Why is he over there?” Frank asked aloud for anyone to answer. 

“Why not?” Ray genuinely asked in response.

“That’s very close to the testing site.”

“What testing site?”

“Jesus did  you hear anything this morning? Must have been thinking about that cute nurse again…”

“What testing site?” Ray asked with more urgency.

“For the new type of bomb, it’s supposed to be too tiny to see from enemy lines so they would have to get closer. They say it’ll change the war but they say that about everything so I don’t care too much.”

“I gotta get him out of there,” Ray told Frank as he started climbing out of the soon-to-be trench. 

“Listen man, I think you should talk to someone before running after him.”

“That’ll take too long, I have to go.”

“Come back,” Frank said defeatedly.

“I will,” Ray said as he began chasing after Mikey. He started by just yelling his name as he ran but Ray knew he’d go through his energy much quicker that way. Especially since Mikey’s hearing wasn’t that great anymore after being too close to explosions in the past without ear protection. The only reason why he refuses honorary discharge is because he’s too fucking patriotic to drop out. 

As Ray started to approach Mikey, he began calling him again. After the 4th loud ring of his name, Mikey looked over his shoulder and stopped walking. 

“What are you doing here?” Mikey asked.

“What am I doing here?” Ray asked out of breath. “Mikey what the hell are you doing?” 

“I had to deliver a message to a general.”

“You can do that later, we have to go.”

“Why?”

“Yes and we need to go! Now!” It’s a shame they started running so late. The explosions were on a timer, unable to be paused or delayed, they were sitting ducks. They made it a semi good way though, and clear of the official blowing site. But not clear of any excess materials that could fly off. And of course with Ray being Ray, he jumped to protect Mikey. Even if it meant shrapnel cutting through his pants and slicing his legs. 

“We're close to an explosion site, dammit!”

“We are?”

He was losing a good amount of blood, but at least Mikey was fine. They struggled their way back to the trenches, and a stretcher took them both the rest of the way to the clinic. Even through Ray’s pain, he still was hoping he was lucky enough to get the clinic that Gee was in. He has a reason now.

Upon arriving at the clinic Ray hears the one voice he was hoping for. All the lights except some over the beds were on, leaving the clinic in a mellow lit area.  “What happened?” Gee asked the soldiers that deposited Ray and Mikey. 

“Ray saved my life,” Mikey started, “I was too close to an explosion site and Ray got me out of there. But I’m fine.” 

“I’m still going to check you though,” Gee responded. 

Before they did anything, Frank bursted into the clinic. “Is Ray okay?” He asked. Frank looked like he was ran rugged with worry. 

Gee walked over to Ray and felt for his pulse, the room was ghostly silent. “He’s alive,” they proclaimed, Frank audibly sighed in relief  before leaving. 

“Gee please just check me out so you can focus on him,” MIkey pleaded while keeping his eyes on his friend. 

“Fine, but if something is actually wrong with you Mikey I will end you,” Gee said, walking over to the hospital records and clearing Mikey out of the line of patients. 

“Thanks,” Mikey said, getting up. He took one last long look at Ray before exiting. Leaving Ray the only patient left under Gee’s care. 

She sighed and brought a basin of water and a sponge over to Ray in hopes of cleaning him up so she could see everything better. She rolled his pants up and cleaned around the incisions along his calves. While cleaning the second leg, Ray finally woke up. 

“Hi,” Ray said in a weak voice. 

“Hi,” she pulled back and looked Ray in the eyes, the tension between them grew. “You saved Mikey, I appreciate it.”

“Of course, he’s my friend.”

“He’s my brother,” Gee replied while they finished cleaning Ray’s wounds. 

“I didn’t know that.”

“He’s the reason I’m out here in the first place.” Gee started taking out large pieces of shrapnel still in Ray’s legs. He occasionally winced and Gee just apologized. 

“I know you probably hear this a lot but, you really are beautiful Gee.” Gee looked up at Ray with a surprised look but it was quickly brushed off. 

“Thanks,” they said numbly.

“I mean it! You are just stunning-”

“Stop, please,” Gee responded distantly. 

“Why?”

“Because you wouldn’t really like me if you knew me,” Gee said, grabbing some hospital thread and a needle to stitch Ray up.

“What does that even mean,” Ray asked frustratedly. 

“I need focus right now,” Gee said, trying to brush Ray off of the subject.

Ray reluctantly held his tongue until Gee finished his stitches. When she got up to grab some bandages, Ray asked again in a much softer tone, “What did that mean?”

Gee looked into Ray’s eyes, looked for any untrustworthy quality but couldn’t find one. She took a deep breath and began to bandage his left leg. “I’m not actually a girl, Ray.” 

That was not what he was expecting him (?) to say. “God don’t look at me like that,” Gee said groaning. 

“Sorry I’m just-”

“Surprised? Yeah I know.”

“It’s not a bad thing Gee,” Ray said as he looked up to make eye contact with him.

“Just hush Ray, I have to finish.” They didn’t want to hear anything from anyone about what they were doing. Everything was too dangerous, even trustworthy eyes can lie. 

Gee got up and walked over to change the water before returning to Ray’s bedside. “I mean it Gee, it doesn’t bother me.”

“Oh my crossdressing and self expression doesn’t bother you? How lucky I am, that you tolerate me,” They said exasperated. 

Ray didn’t respond at first. He had to gather his thoughts and tread carefully. He never wanted to focus on who he was attracted to, he never knew how. Ray had grown a habit of just shoving anything like that away and never mentioning it but at a time like this, he knew he would have to dig it up. “Not really ‘tolerate’ but more, understand?”

Gee perked up. “I never thought too hard about it in the past but I never really cared. Like guys or chicks, I never really focused on one solely,” Ray admitted. 

Gee didn’t respond, only moved their chair to right next to Ray, much closer to his face. He dipped a different sponge in the fresh water and began washing Ray’s muddy face. “I feel the same way. I could never just pick one.”

“Yeah.” Ray responded weakly, staring up to meet Gee’s eyes. They met him with a much softer expression.

Once Gee was satisfied with their cleaning, they set the basin of water on the floor next to them. They looked up at Ray and placed a hand on his cheek, “you still think I’m beautiful?”

“Even more now Gee,” Ray responded leaning closer to their face. 

Gee only huffed and gave Ray a quick kiss on the cheek before pulling away. But they didn’t get very far before Ray put a hand on top of his. Ray pulled Gee back in a little and asked very quietly, “can I kiss you Gee?”

“If were caught-”

“We won’t be, just please let me kiss you.” 

“This once,” They responded before leaning in and placing his lips on his. Ray tasted the cherry chapstick Gee had on and sighed. When the pair pulled apart they both looked at each other deeply. 

“I’ve never done that before,” Ray said.

“Me neither,” Gee responded. Nothing else had to be said before their lips rejoined, over and over until the world faded away.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #368

“whatever doesn’t kill you, is gonna leave a scar”

Have you ever bought a YouTuber’s merch? My favorite shirt is the Day of the Dead design by Cloak, which is Markiplier's and jacksepticeye's clothing brand. Mom's friend/former co-worker also got me a Ninja Sex Party shirt because she knew I liked them. There are SO MANY YouTubers I wanna support by buying shirts. Do you think oatmeal tastes better when made with water or milk? Milk, 110%. Have you ever left a note in a library book? No. What time of day do you prefer to wash your hair? Morning. Has anyone ever spread lies about you? Yes. Have you ever taken a photograph with a celebrity? If so, did it turn out the way you wanted, or do you wish you could retake it? No. If you could move out of your home country permanently, would you? If so, where would you go? If it didn't mean being so very far from my family, I would love to move to Canada. Is there a celebrity that everyone else seems to love, but you find totally overrated? Why is it that you don’t like them? I legit don't know who's considered currently popular, and I especially don't know who they are as people. If you could volunteer for any charity, which one would you choose? Do you think it’s more important to help humans, or are animal and environmental charities equally important? Something relating to animals, and I think they're both equally important. Do you prefer holidays where you relax, or actually do things? I like a mix. Something chill, but you still do some stuff as a family. Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive? Yes. Has anybody ever told you that you could be a model? Someone has mistaken me for a model in a picture I once took. It was one of the most flattering things I've ever heard, haha. Do you use different kinds of moisturizer for different body parts? ie. hand lotion for your hands, face cream for your face. Or do you just use one moisturizer for all body parts? Yes. Have you ever felt like you were someone’s rebound? No. Has anybody ever broken up with you over something really pathetic? What was it? Have you ever been dumped in a disrespectful way? (eg. through text, through a friend..) I have 100% been dumped in a very cowardly and disrespectful way; after dating Jason for nearly four years and being very serious, he broke up with me very abruptly over Facebook Messenger. His reason was valid, but at the same time, he NEVER talked to me about it. Apparently my depression was dragging him down. If he'd fucking communicated it, I would have explored new treatment options so goddamn fast. But no, he decided to snap his fingers and disappear. That's exactly WHY it was so traumatic, I think: it was so unexpected and sudden. Did you have a lot of role models as a kid? Animal enthusiasts like Steve Irwin and Jeff Corwin for sure. Do you feel like anyone looks up to you? Why or why not? God no. I'm just... not someone to aspire to be like. What was the last thing you found offensive? I'm not sure. Who is the nicest person you know? My mom. Do you feel safe in your country? I feel safe in NC, rather. Like I don't expect an atom bomb or terrorist attack or something in this obscure area. In the U.S.A. itself, sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. America is definitely not loved by every other country. Do you feel safe where you live? Not in this city, no. Have you been falsely diagnosed with something by a bad doctor? Yup. Did y'all know I apparently have ADHD? I know, shocking. Have you ever had a doctor refuse to treat you? No. Name the strangest game you’ve ever played (video game or real game): The first Silent Hill, probably. It took a lot of reading to get it. Do you know anyone who has been struck by lightning before? No. Which cartoon character would you want to keep as a pet? Does Stitch count? Or a Pokemon. Do you like marshmallows? Yes. What is your favorite flavor of candy cane? I really like the Jolly Rancher candy canes, I think they are? Have you ever fostered an animal? No. Do you still take hot showers when it’s hot out? Not as hot, but not cold except on very extreme occasions. When writing $ sign, do you draw one line through the S or two? Two. What animal have you always wanted as a pet but couldn’t have? I'm thankful that my parents were pretty open-minded to what pets I really wanted, but one I was never allowed to have was a ferret because of how messy and smelly they are. List three people you’ve had crushes on: Jason, Sara, and Sebastian were probably my biggest crushes. Have you ever thrown up from cramps? No, but god have I felt close. List three people you had a hard time forgiving. Jason, Colleen, and my dad. Who is the most spiritual person you know? Probably my sister's mother-in-law. Would you ever start a vlog? God no, I'd bore people to tears. Are your dreams coming true yet? I mean, I guess in some ways with my mental health. In my deepest depression, what I have now was a dream, even though current me is very discontent with it. Most of my dreams, though? No. Do you struggle with depression? I've been diagnosed with severe depression since 7th grade. Are you haunted by your past? A few things won't leave me alone. What medical conditions do you have? Just a lot. There are even more that are up for debate. I've talked about my diagnosed conditions enough. Do you use a Magic Bullet? No. What does your apron look like? I don’t have one. What are your favorite spicy foods? Hot Cheetos, Takis, hot wings, jalapeno pizza... Man, I love spicy food. Which do you like better: being an adult or being a kid? Being a kid. Were you excited to be a teenager on your thirteenth birthday? I had very mixed feelings. Did you feel insecure in high school? Shit, I still do. Would you ever be friends with someone who was suicidal? What the FUCK is this question? No fucking shit I would be. Someone being suicidal in no way affects who they are as a person. Who was the biggest bully in high school? I don't think there really was one. What was your favorite class in high school? Art. Would you rather have a daughter or a son? If I wanted kids, a daughter. Have you ever written to an advice columnist? No. Have you ever had a doctor not believe what you told him? Maybe? I did however have an employee at the ER the first time I went try to pry out of me that my self-mutilation was for attention, and it wasn't until I insisted about a dozen times that it wasn't that he believed me. It's odd looking back that I got REALLY attached to him during that stay, knowing now that it was absolutely horrible and extremely unhelpful for him to do that. If you’re female, would you feel uncomfortable having a male gynecologist? I would absolutely refuse to have a male one. Do you like Lisa Frank? Yeah, like can you talk about aesthetic. What gives you nightmares? Boy, I wish I could tell you, given how much I have them. Were you ever hospitalized as a child? No. Did you get senior pictures taken? No. What color is your bicycle? I don’t have one. Did you ever have to take home a fake baby in health class? No, thank fuck. Would you rather wear ivory or white on your wedding day? What color will your bridesmaids wear? I'd rather wear black. I think red will be the bridesmaids' color. Would you rather have a swimming pool or trampoline? I want a swimming pool so damn badly so I could exercise my legs without worrying about sweating, and I can stop and rest whenever I want, unlike going walking or something. I don't think my knees could handle a trampoline. Do you think babies are cute? Some, sure. But a lot, not really. Do you dream about the future a lot? Yeah. Do you think about your past a lot? Way too frequently. How good are you at living in the moment? I'm trying to get better at it. Have you ever questioned God’s existence? Yeah. Vanilla frosting or chocolate? Chocolate. What’s your favorite foreign cuisine? I've actually been exploring Italian pasta lately. I'm not a big fan of foreign food that I've tried, though. Have you ever moved to another state? No. Did you do anything productive today? No. .-. Can you say the alphabet backwards? No, actually. Do you like flowers? Of course; does anyone not? Have you ever thought you were gonna die? I didn't care if I did or didn't. What kind of mood are you in today? I was honestly really depressed through most of it. Just health stuff was really getting to me. I just woke up from what was honestly like a four-hour nap and I feel all right, I guess. What are you craving right now? I REALLY want Domino's jalapeno pizza. Is there anyone you would seriously punch right now if you had the chance? No. What is worse, physical or emotional pain? Definitely emotional. Have you ever walked in on somebody doing something… questionable? When Dad still lived with us, I think he might have been watching... you know... on TV when I came into my parents' room for something. Idk for sure though. I didn't ask, and I don't want to know. If you were to make videos on YouTube, what would they be of? Oh god, idk. I don't want to make any. What I'd have most fun with would be reptile education, but I 1.) have literally one snake, 2.) am not extremely educated on a good number of them and don't want to be misleading, and 3.) I would run outta content fast. So, leave it to Snake Discovery, haha. Posting pictures of yourself in a bathing suit on the internet - ok or not? Yes, it's okay????? If you're talking about me personally though, you won't see me dead in a bathing suit picture. Do you typically laugh when somebody falls down? No, I gasp and see if they're okay. What is the most disturbing movie you’ve ever watched? Paranormal Entity. The ending is... a lot. Your opinion of Katy Perry, please? I like a couple of her songs. If you could say anything to your Mom right now… what would it be? "Thank you for absolutely everything."

[thesassenachswiftie]

Chapter 2: “You Need To Calm Down)

Read on AO3

Summary:

Chapter 2 is here! It's time for Claire and Jamie's first fight but that also it's time for their first make-up sex. This is my first time writing Smut but @statell assures me I did a good job. If that's really not your thing (I mean you are reading OL fanfic so it probably is), it's all the big paragraph near the end and the two dialogue paragraphs after you can easily skip to the last 3 dialogue paragraphs without losing the plot. Big thanks to everyone following along on this journey and all the kudos and comments on the last chapter.

This chapter is not only inspired by "You Need to Calm Down" but also by "The Reckoning" any quotes borrowed from either of these works belong to their respective author whom I am indebted to and admire greatly.

Notes:

First of all, I’m on Twitter now @sassenachswifty.

Second of all, There was a short lived comment on AO3 about Jo's pronouns on my last chapter. I genuinely think the commenter realized their mistake and deleted it before I had a chance to respond--which is fine and good, heaven knows I've made mistakes with pronouns and felt weird and caught of guard about them and all of that. Basically they were saying the they/them pronons were not grammatically correct and were distracting to the reader. I get that, I totally do, it feels uncomfortable because we were never taught about the singular they in school and it looks/sounds weird if you're not used to it. However, the sigular they has been recognized by APA, MLA and I believe Chicago style and is, therefore grammatically correct. It's something I'm getting used to as a writer and it's something we can try to get used to as readers as we move forward into a more progressive society. Our grandkids are going to make fun of us someday for struggling with pronouns. I just wanted to say it's ok to struggle, it's not ok to dismiss (which I genuinely believe the commenter was not doing). Jo came to me as a nonbinary character, and while it is a good exercise in pronoun usage for me as an author, that is not their primary function in the story, they are there to be Claire’s friend first and foremost. They/them are Jo's pronouns and I cannot and will not call them anything else because that would be disrespectful to them. My only other option would be to use "Jo" in every instance where he/she/her/him would come up which would be annoying, repetative and frankly, bad writing. Thank you for coming to my TED talk, now on with the show!

Chapter 2: “You Need To Calm Down”

Claire awoke in Jamie’s bed early on Saturday morning.  It was graduation day, but she was definitely not walking the stage.  Still laying on her side, she picked up her phone off the nightstand and began mindlessly scrolling Facebook, stopping at a collection of photos from an end of semester happy hour the night before.  Frank was there as well as several of their mutual friends.  Were they still friends? Probably not anymore, who knows if they ever were.  Claire tapped from the photos posted by Gillian to the tag that took her to Frank’s profile.  She scrolled down his feed to see if there were any new updates. Other than the pictures, it was the same barely cryptic statuses that were clearly throwing shade her way to anyone that knew.  In a tweet? That’s a cop-out. Taking shots at me like it's Patrón, she mused to herself, recalling the pictures from the night before. Claire began swiping through Frank’s photos going back further and further.  Her and Frank in front of the house with the “sold” sign in the yard.  A candid picture she took of Frank in a coffee shop one day.  Brilliant, smiling faces of them and their friends all dressed up at their New Year’s Eve party--many of the people pictured in the photos from last night. Frank proudly standing with his arm around her, Claire beaming and angling her hand just so a few days after they got engaged.  Claire was so engrossed in these images she didn’t realize Jamie had awoken behind her.  He leaned over to plant a kiss on that spot just behind her ear, pausing when he saw what she was looking at, “Damn Sassenach, it’s seven AM for Chrissakes” he hissed.

Claire’s face flushed immediately. She had been caught.  She didn’t even know why she was doing what she was doing, but she felt ashamed, defensive, embarrassed, and justified all at once.  She swiped out of her Facebook app instantly but it was too late.  He had seen and the damage had been done. She couldn’t speak, she didn’t have any good excuses, and she definitely couldn’t turn to look at Jamie. She set the phone back down on the nightstand and burrowed her curly head under the pillow trying to avoid his gaze.  She couldn’t see his face, but she knew Jamie was watching her intently waiting for an explanation.

“Hey, are you ok? I dinna mean to snap at ye Claire, It’s just early and I dinna expect to see ye looking at pictures of your ex after what I thought was such a satisfying night. Am I not good enough for ye Claire?”  His tone started gentle and caring, but his veins were pulsing with jealous rage and his voice got more angry and frantic as he continued.  “Look at me, Claire!”

Claire didn’t like being told what to do, especially not with the newfound feminist energy Jo had ignited in her.  She hoisted herself out from her cocoon, and sprang up to face him. “I don’t have to do what you tell me to. You need, to calm down, you’re being too loud!”

 He made a distinctly Scottish noise--“Hmpph. That’s not what ye said last night Sassenach” he growled.  He couldn’t help flirting with her even in his anger. She looked so bonny, bare-breasted with her curls splayed every which way, the fire of her anger alight in her whisky eyes--frightening and sexy at the same time.

Claire wasn’t amused by his quip, or by the tone of voice in which he said it, “you need to just stop, like can you just not? I don’t like it one bit!”

“Not what, Claire? Not want ye only for myself? Not feel jealous seeing pictures of that rat bastard with his smug grin and his arm around ye to be the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning? You do belong to me, whether ye like it or not. Why are you mad? I’m the only one allowed to be mad, Claire! Yer mine, damn ye Claire! Mine, and I wilna share ye, with a man or a memory or anything whatsoever”

Her glass face broke before his eyes as he raised his voice louder.  Her anger had turned to something fragile, something Jamie was afraid he would break.  Even still, she spoke softly, but confidently, “I don’t belong to you or anyone, I’m my own person. You need to just take several seats” She glanced away from him, trying to keep her composure.  

Controlling his urge to scream, he replied “I know that, that’s not what I meant.  I ain’t trying to mess with who you are or your self expression, I mean that I am yours just as much as you are mine”

Damn, he’s good, thought Claire as she met his gaze again.  His passion, even when directed towards anger, was still sexy.

“Claire, I see you over there on the internet all the time, this isn’t the first time you’ve done this is it?”

She nodded in agreement, embarrassed, but somehow she felt safe admitting it to Jamie.  She was beginning to realize just how much he truly cared about her.  As strange as it seemed, through this small fight, their relationship was moving from simply mutual, passionate attraction to something deeper.  It might have been there all along beyond the urges of the flesh, but she was just now truly seeing it.  It was exciting and terrifying all at the same time.

“Listen, I’ve learned a lesson that stressing and obsessing about somebody else is no fun.” Jamie disclosed, trying to restore the peace. “He’s not worth your time if he let a girl like you go on the drop of a hat like that.” This made Claire wince internally, hoping he didn’t see, there was more to it than that.  He didn’t seem to notice and continued, “What we have is like sunshine, but you act like you would rather be in the dark.”  He reached for her arm, caressing it gently.

“You’ve figured me out.  You’re right, I don’t know why I keep checking on him. I guess I’m hoping I’ll find out something horrible has happened to him; but I promise, only you have me.”

“I mean to have you Claire, I am your master and you are mine. It seems I cannot possess your soul without losing my own.”  Both of Jamie’s hands were on Claire’s arms now, gripping her more firmly now. They were drawing closer to each other, the passion of their anger still surging in their veins. “I want you Claire, I want you so much I can scarcely breathe. Will you have me?”

“Yes.”

Their lips met with a fervour unlike any they had experienced before, hands caressing everywhere. Claire moaned into Jamie’s mouth as his hand cupped her breast, stroking her nipple vigorously with his palm.  His lips moved to her neck, that spot behind her ear that made her giggle and squeak.  He was ravenous, consuming her flesh with his lips, making his way down to her other breast, sucking her nipple as he ran his tongue around it, willing all sorts of noises to emit from her mouth.  She was straddling him, grinding against him, feeling his wanting against her in just the right spot. She thrust her hands into his boxer briefs, tugging at his hips to bring them even closer.  He responded in kind, slipping his hands into the lace waistband her cotton panties and grabbing that arse he loved so much.  He moved one hand around to her front and started stroking her most sensitive area and slipped a finger inside her.  “Oh, Jamie” she moaned as she began to ease his waistband down.  She allowed herself to let him go for a moment, releasing him to remove his underwear, as she did the same.  As soon as they were fully exposed to one another, she was on top of him again.  She moved herself up and down his length, feeling him rub against her, igniting a euphoric sensation in her core. When neither of them could take it anymore he slipped inside her, and she took him in to the hilt, riding him almost violently.  All the anger and shame she had felt moments ago had transformed into a primal lust unleashed on him. He responded in kind, kissing her vigorously across breasts, neck and shoulders until she shoved him back on the bed to gain a better angle.  Pushing her hand to his chest for leverage, she rode him harder than she’d ever ridden anyone before--not even the vibrator she used to experiment with in college. She could see he was close, his face contorting as he resisted the urge to finish before her.

“Sassenach, you’ll be the death of me” he groaned.

“Just a little more, Jamie” she panted, just before crying out, “Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh”. Seeing her satisfied, he allowed himself to finish as well.  Claire gently detached from him and collapsed beside him, breathless, resting on his chest, hair sprawled across him.

“Oh Sassenach, ye keep that up and I’m liable to pick fights with you more often” he sighed.

“You better watch out before you start something you can’t finish” she quipped in response.  

Jamie simply made a Scottish noise in reply, staring at the ceiling stroking her hair, wondering if he had, in fact, done just that.

End Note:

I try to slip in as many lyrics from each song as possible and make it still "work", occasionally changing tenses or adding/subtracting words to make them work. Claire's orgasm moans are the "oh oh's" in the chorus of YNTCD and I'm simultaneously proud of myself and ashamed.

[bucky-iss-bae]

Little Miss CEO - (Billy Russo x Reader) - Part 7

Part 7 of Little Miss CEO - Hope you all enjoy x

Fandom: Marvels The PunisherBill

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Word Count: 1500ish (Sorry it’s short compared to other parts)

Warnings: Ever so slightly underlinings of sex, but honestly nothing at allll maybe a few swears.

Summary: Billy and Y/N get set up by their friends, but they clash heads more than they get on. He thinks she’s a gold digger bitch and she thinks he’s Mr Obnoxious, are either of them, everyone else thinks that they’re too stubborn for their own good and probably get on.

A/N: Hope you all enjoy, any feedback is welcome x Sorry for taking like a month, it’s been written and honestly should’ve posted this long ago, but yeah, I got catching up to doooo

Masterlist

Little Miss CEO - Part 6

Part 7 

The journey was nice, he eventually got over it, we put on some music, turns out Billy isn’t much of a singer, or so he says until a song he likes comes on and he starts murmuring along to it compared to me and my singing.

My sister’s house was on a row full of beautiful perfect white picket fenced houses. I had only been here a few times, a few days when she was moving in a few months ago, then a little while after to again help with the decorating with my brothers, that ended in a pizza party for the little kids, and a good old gossip session between Kai, myself and Brie.

“Damn, this neighbourhood looks like something taken out of a TV show.”

“It’s nice isn’t it” I agreed with him,

We got out the car and I grabbed his hand in mine, he looked down at me and smiled before I walked up to knock on her door.

A few seconds later my little niece came and opened the door,

“Hey little lady,” I said picking her up to hug her,

She just giggled, “I knew it was you. Momma told me you were coming and I’ve been soo excited” she said exaggerating the ‘soo’

“Yeah well, your momma told me that you’ve been sooo excited for this party because you get to see me”

She nodded her head before looking at Billy and looked at me before coming close to my head, “Who’s he?” She whispered into my ear, although it sounded nothing like a whisper.

“This is my... friend Billy. You need to be nice to him because he’s my absolute best friend” This kid hopefully doesn’t know what boyfriend and girlfriends are because she’s 4. They should be clueless so a best friend will be enough

She jumped down from me and looked at him with narrowed eyes, “You’re not Auntie Y/N’s best friend. I am!”

He looked at me before looking at her and I just smiled, “Mia, he’s a different type of best friend. Don’t worry he’s not taking your place”

She stopped and looked at me and then him, “So like... a best boyfriend?”

I couldn’t help but laugh at that, “Yes hunny exactly like that”

She gasped and covered her mouth with her hand and started to giggle, “JERMeyyyy” She yelled, “Auntie Y/N has a boyfriend” She screamed running through the house,

My eyes widened and I looked at him before I followed her with Billy beside me.

“So the younger niece?” He asked, “Not going to lie, the way she looked at me has me a little scared, maybe because she’s your family.”

I laughed, “She’s a little diva. Her brother the same, he’ll try to interrogate you”

I walked through to the kitchen and saw that the food was all nearly all prepped, “Mia, what have I said about opening the door” Brie yelled walking through the house and stopped when she saw me, “Oh my gosh” She then squealed once she saw me running to hug me, I hugged back “I’ve missed you, and you keep me sane and thank you for coming here because I can’t control the kids whilst they’re hopped up on sugar because it’s difficult keeping the food away from them on days like today and I missed you” She rambled out,

I laughed and hugged her back, “Don’t worry, I can look after the kids while you get everything settled. How are you?” She pulled away and huffed,

“I’m stressed because I was on call last night. So I got in at 3am, and Mia woke up at 7am, and I was like ok, cool, sat her in front of the TV, don’t judge my parenting, but started prepping all the food that the caterers dropped off, Dave made sure the house was tidy and everything, I’m not having any snoopy bitches going through this house so I’m giving you the master key, every door aside from the downstairs bathroom will be locked and I regret being such a nice person and inviting so many people, but I just... that’s me you get me?”

“Yeah, I need to teach you how to say no to people or to stop making sure everyone else is happy”

She groaned, “I know it’ll be nice later, I know it will but the prepping beforehand is long, also I’m so sorry, hi, I’m Brie, her little sister, who is also quite embarrassed right now, I promise you that this isn’t usually this bad, I just... if I knew she was bringing someone” She said turning to me before going back to him, “I would’ve told her to come later so you wouldn’t have to wait around for us and see how bad her family really is” She said greeting Billy, 

“Hi” he said shaking her hand a charming smile on his face, “Don’t worry about it, you’ve got a lot going on. And I’m Billy by the way, Y/N’s plus one, and sorry to intrude” He said glancing at me, 

“Uh huh, you’re not intruding anything, if you treat my sister right, you’re welcome anytime, andd” She said looking between us two, “Is that why Mia was running around singing that you’ve got a boyfriend?” She asked me and I felt my cheeks going a little red. 

“Yeah, you heard her right” I said to my sister,

“Do Kai and Tommy know?” She asked me with a smirk, “You remember the grilling they gave Dave right? Ohhh Billy, hate to break it to you but you’ve got a long day ahead of you”  

“They’re not saying anything to him. You’re their little sister, it’s different, I basically raised those boys so they can’t say shit” I said to her,

She rose her eyebrows before looking at Billy, “Good luck. You’ll need it. I mean a heads up, Kai is easier to get comfortable with but he’s still watching you, then with Tommy as soon as you get past the initial grilling he’ll be great”

“Great, just when I thought the nerves had gone” He mumbled,

“Whos this?” Someone asked from behind me and Billy, we both turned and Dave was there my sisters husband, he’s a nice guy, pretty big and intimidating, but nice.

“Hey Dave.” I said hugging him, “This is Billy, the guy I’m seeing, and Billy the is Dave, my sister’s husband” I explained, 

“Nice to meet you” Billy said putting out his hand, Dave took it and shook it, “Nice to meet you, how long you two been together for?” He asked,

“It’s still early days” I explained to Dave, “But we’ve known each other for a few months now”

“Ah yeah? How did you meet? Don’t tell me he’s one of your clients” He said looking a little concerned,

“No, so you know Karen?” I asked and they both nodded, “Well, her partner Frank, this is best friend” I explained,

“Ohh, damn, ok cool. So what do you do?” Dave asked Billy,

“I own a company called Anvil” Billy explained to Dave,

“I’ve heard of that” Dave muttered looking like he was thinking, I looked at Brie and she looked back at me a small smirk on her face, she obviously knew who he was, this woman had gone into stalker mode to find out who he was, she probably knew all about him, his past, his business, and any secrets she could through the world wide web, and maybe she even broke a few rules at the hospital to get his records up. She’s dumb like that but smart enough to cover he tracks. And I’m pretty sure Tommy has also done the same since I last spoke to him, but more like getting records that she couldnt. Between Brie, Tommy and Kai, they all probably managed to get as much of his life story as they could. 

“Is it Billy Russo?” Dave asked him and Billy nodded, “Damn you were on the news a while ago weren’t you?” He asked,

“Yeah, a bit of a bad stage in my life” Billy explained looking slightly uncomfortable,

“But you were a marine right?” Dave then went on to ask before clapping his shoulder, “Pretty sure this guy won’t have Kai hating him too long then”

Billy looked at me, “He’s the one that didn’t call you at dinner right?”

I shook my head, “That was Tommy, also speaking of them, when are they getting here?”

“They should be here” Brianna told me, “Also for real, although they’re protective over her, you have nothing to worry about as long as you treat her right ok”

“Don’t worry, I’m not a scumbag, I’ll treat her like a queen” he said kissing the side of my head,

My heart melted a little bit, I haven’t been in a relationship in so long, any dates I have are always set up, and although this initially was it didn’t work out. Business then pushed us closer together.

A few seconds later there was some screaming and two little kids running into the kitchen, “MOOOMMMM, tell MIIIAAA, ew are you Auntie Y/Ns boyfriend, I thought she was lying” Jeremiah said stopping in the kitchen and looking at Billy.

My jaw dropped at him and Billy looked a little shocked, “Jeremiah, don’t be so disrespectful, and apologise”

“Noooo” He whined, “I’m going to go tell Tommy and Kai. They’ll get rid of him” Jeremiah said narrowing his eyes at Billy,

“Alright kid, that’s enough,” I said to Jeremiah, “Be nice to Billy because he’s been nice to me ok. And I’m sure Tommy and Kai won’t need to scare him off because you all acting the way you are right now is enough to do that.”

Jeremiah huffed out a sigh, he looked at his dad who also nodded before he went to stand in front of Bill an put his hand out to shake it, “I need to be nice to you and I will. So I’m Jeremiah, and you need to treat Auntie Y/N nicely because she hasn’t had a boyfriend before so you know.... she probably hates boys so be careful”

Nothing of what he just said made sense but Billy just laughed and shook Jeremiah's hand, “Hello Jeremiah, I’m Billy, and I promise I’ll be good”

Jeremiah nodded and smiled, “Mom, I was going to say that Mia is being annoying. She won’t get out of my room”

“Yes I did. I’m right here” Mia said from beside her dad who picked up her, she had a proud smirk on her face and everything about her screamed that she was daddies little girl.

Jer just glared at her before looking at his mom, “Tell her to stop”

“Baby she will, you go get ready, or do you need help?”

“I don’t need help” he grumbled whilst walking off,

After he walked of Brie shook her head and I laughed a little before looking at Billy, “I would apologise for him, but I found it too cute, although he did violate me in the process”

Billy laughed a little, “Yeah, I don’t actually think I’ve asked when you last had a boyfriend” Billy said smirking slightly,

“No, I think we both know my ‘boyfriend’ has been my work”

“Don’t even start on that” Brie said while looking at Billy, “I’m assuming she knows how much she works. I was shocked when she said she would have time to come, and I’m honestly even more shocked that she’s bought someone with her”

“Yeah, I thought I was bad, but then I’m the one bringing her lunch every other day when she’s too caught up with clients, and well Karen and Frank persuaded her” he smirked at me.

“Awhh” Brie said covering her heart with her hand, “You’re like a cute young couple. And I miss that” She whined,

I looked at him and he looked at me, “We’re a cute couple I’ll say that”

He just winked at me, “Forgetting the young part there”

“Well, don’t want to be lying now do I?” I asked, “I mean your beard puts on a few years” I said with a smirk,

“Thought you were into beards?” Brie asked whilst organising her food,

Billy just laughed, “Now, there is something I forgot, Karen or Frank mentioned it when we first met”

I just narrowed my eyes at him but still had a smile on my face.

I then started to help Brie, Dave went to sort the kids out, and Billy was also helping here and there where he could. I was happy that he clicked with Brie, mainly because she was teasing him and he took it lightly, and he threw a few jokes around himself.

Not long later after she had everything sorted and organised with the food, Billy helped take everything outside, the kids were settled and everything looked good. As soon as it turned 2pm, the music was on, and people started walking through to the garden. Brianna had put up signs that led everyone around towards the back so no one nosy would walk through her house and ended up taking a detour. Although it was a house warming party she knew that it wasn’t. It was low-key a cookout, I should’ve gotten Karen and Frank to both join us, next time I will.

Little Miss CEO Part 8 - FINAL PART 

Tagged List for ‘Little Miss CEO’

@thebabblingbookworm  @bilesxbilinskixlahey   @utterlyhopeful  @supermassiveblackhope

If you want to be tagged in the final part, send a message my way xoxo

A/N: ONE MORE PART LEFFFTTTT, 

Then I’ll be adding in random bonus chapters for the fun of it, I’ll make this its own master list just so it’s a bit more organised hope you all enjoyed, and feedback is more than welcome xoxo

[vroenis]

The Internet Is Not Remarkable | Which Is Why It’s Remarkable

Oddly I’ve not ever felt the need to unplug. I don’t have a sense of separation between life happening away from the Wire and life happening on the Wire or the Wire not being life. It was never a distinct thing I ever had to decide was or wasn’t life or became life, either. Being born in the early 80′s, I guess means the Wire wasn’t always there as a salient presence, integrated into the fabric of life. Heyo I had a Nokia 3210. That doesn’t mean anything, by the way, it just places me on a timeline. Nostalgia sucks and is literally valueless. Let’s make art you can steal.

Anecdotally it means I saw the internet happen as a Thing. It’s less important than it sounds. Also the internet going from not being a Thing to being in our pockets. OK. But honestly it’s not very important. As in the transition isn’t important. There were a lot of people there when it happened and I think a lot of us if and when we’re honest will tell you now, in retrospect, it’s not a big deal. People older than I am and some my age and younger who have an ignorant and uninformed understanding of life and experience will go on about life being better or significantly more meaningful before or without the Wire but honestly they’re wrong. I’ll come out and say it’s flat better. Sure it makes misinformation easier as much as it makes all the good things better but wow media control and information mass-dissemination before the Wire? Are you kidding me? 

On the topic of unplugging and digitally detoxing and I realise The 1975 just made a video all about it that was overly cute, yes, but still pretty fucken’ great. Let’s link it because honestly, it’s a wonderful snapshot of its time that they’re unquestionably aware will date immensely and that is a big part of the point. The 1975 hardly need any more promo but what can I say, I’ve no problem being part of an adoring fanbase and adore them we do. Let us adore.

That it’s so on-the-nose and that it’s a big part of the point is going to anger and frustrate people so much, moreso that exactly that reaction is a part of being caught-up in the inevitable participation in what the song and indeed, what Matty as an individual and what the band as a commercial and cultural entity are. The too cool thing to do is say you didn’t know anything about it, you didn’t watch it, you don’t care for it, you’re immune to it and continue to be ignorant of it - sure, I used to be cool like you. The thing is I both care less and more about being cool.

I love this song, I love what it’s doing and what it means. I love being a fan of and loving things. I love that other people love things I love. I still love loving things no-one knows about but I always love other people finding and loving my things, even if and when some of them behave badly because as an adult and an individual, I understand that participating in one cultural activity doesn’t mean I’m fully represented as a whole cultural entity.

Coming back to unplugging and that not being necessary for me, it connects to not being overwhelmed by it, which connects again, to the Wire not being separate and distinct from what I see as my experience of life. If the Wire is a mundane aspect of life then it’s unnecessary to disconnect from it. I engage with it as much as I engage with other things, that is to say I’m fascinated by, obsess over, and grow bored with things on it as much as all subjects, objects and activities in life equally. I don’t think this is unique to me at all, I suspect it’s quite common.

As it happens, I got into Instagram in a big way around the same time I got into contemporary board games. Both of these things I’ve almost wholly discarded. Almost, but not quite. I still maintain my Instagram account because I’ve made some valuable and enduring connections on it and as a platform I seem to have nurtured some semblance of an audience for a sprinkling of subjects and visual motifs. As for board games, I’m actually still quite interested in them but there’s so much about them as an industry and culture I actively dislike and have also grown bored of that I’ve consciously disengaged from them.

Facebook as a culture has always been weird to me, I can’t say I’ve ever understood it as a platform. Primarily it seemed to function as a space to connect with people you already know - OK. So then we’re encouraged to engage with one-another on... topics we may or may not already be engaging with either in our physical time together in which case, it’s redundant? Or we post articles we expect others to read which mostly they don’t unless aaaaaah - they’re short, reductive and in simple language and now the exercise is hazardous. The platform then actively co-opts strangers into discussions by facilitating cross-posting intra-sharing articles, which to be frank is about eyes on ads and ad-revenue, here we get to the ultimate objective of Facebook as a platform which I guess is why none of it makes any sense. Engagement at all costs. Of-course Facebook doesn’t care about racist groups and the real violence it precipitates, why on earth would that matter to them? The only thing that matters is capitalist gains. As long as it doesn’t directly cost them and as long as there are no economic consequences for them, they will proceed, and this is pervasive and transparent in the way all actions are facilitated and encouraged on the platform as a utility.

There’s more to discuss about Facebook but you’ve had those discussions before and they’re boring. Facebook is boring. The way people use Facebook is  boring. Many of my peers ported to Instagram because as many of them said “It’s like Facebook but just pictures” and something along the lines of “It’s just pure” and there’s a high degree of truth in that. The sense of purity comes from the feeling of positivity in that thumbs becomes hearts - the likes an image gets. Engagement is fairly low-level. People express their endorsement of an image or do nothing at all. Occasionally there’s discussion, predominantly positive and for the most part I’d agree it’s wholesome. You can find toxicity easily enough and all of it is bad, but there are whole spaces on Instagram where you’d be forgiven for thinking it was a platform free of it altogether.

I guess it’s worth mention when I was peak Instagram, I was producing a super lo-fi but passionate board games podcast I recorded with R and we were also running several public and private board games groups around Melbourne. There was a lot of good about that sense of community and some of those people are still in our lives now. Platforms like Instagram are great for celebrating many of those aspects, I’d still say better than Facebook. Instagram is more approachable and simpler for just showing a thing and liking it - the engagement is direct and the commitment level (sign-up, visual clutter, privacy concerns, settings digest etc.) is minimal.

There are some Instagram Stories (read: Snapchat clones) there listed under This Account that briefly go thru the effective mothballing of my account. To have a different discussion here, I know how much and what kind of work it takes to build and maintain and audience on Instagram and it’s not interesting to me any more. It’s boring. I don’t mean to disrespect the audience I have there, all audiences are made up of people. Their behaviour on the platform is indicative of the cultural space that Instagram is, not their respective characters and that’s fine. That I’m bored is indicative of my feelings towards the platform and the culture it fosters, not how I feel about the people themselves. I still really like most of the people I’ve made connections with on Instagram and ping them DMs about beer, Lego and art once in a while. Instagram is about keeping it light - or lite is perhaps more appropriate - and I’m happy to keep my engagement level likewise.

That makes it extremely strange that I chose tumblr as a cultural space for my long-format writing, then, hey. Sure does. I did write about tumblr as a cultural space and honestly I still feel the same way about it - I absolutely love it here. Even tho I don’t engage in tumblr at all in the way the culture here utilises it, oddly I still feel right at home, fitting that one of the titles of the entry is Hiding In Plain Sight.

I don’t effectively have an audience for my writing here, tho, and that certainly is different. There’s a certain buzz missing from seeing a post light up with hearts, but then I think - a post gets a tally of hearts, of likes, so the people around me - my audience - likes an image and/or the accompanying text I’ve written tho that’s unlikely as the ratio of viewers to readers is likely to be extremely low. So if I think about how meaningful the text is to me versus the image, sometimes it’s split down the middle, but often the writing is far more important or at least there’s massive intent for gravitas to the image. Without the text, the image would be pleasant at best, and I realise that’s what people are engaging with and throwing a heart at, and I’m not interesting in doing that. I’m interesting in writing and expressing because I’m doing that anyway. I’m talking to and for myself regardless which I’m very happy to do, so if I’m going to do that, I’m happy to do it on the assumption of no audience and just express freely without restraint on subjects that interest me the most.

I either will or won’t develop that audience, but it will have to be with people who are dedicated enough to read and that might be a thing just yet, but who knows, there may be coming a time when people realise it’s not the Wire they need to unplug from. I’m not spinning up theories because it’s less complicated than that. I still operate a Facebook account. There’s a lot to hate about Facebook but of itself it’s mostly banal. Sure its UI and UX both are horrors that precipitate actual nightmares (unrelated but recent: none worse that iTunes MY GOD WHY WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY) but from a utility perspective it can be useful in the least. I have connections with a handful of people and communities which are useful to me for the moment so until they’re not, I’ll use the platform - but my weekly usage would be measured in minutes, I’m not sure I’d make cumulative hours in seven days.

When I moved away from Twitter and Instagram, I wanted a more considered approach to everything including images. I did once take long walks in Melbourne and photograph things that I found aesthetically interesting and under the circumstances that isn’t possible. I did stop doing that much earlier than Covid19 tho but that’s due to family circumstances alluded to in other posts. I still think if I ever take up photographing things with the same regularity, those images will end up here, simply because if I want to cut in with text, I can with better control. But also because it’s more meaningful if I don’t, and also as an artefact, a html page is something that invites a more static approach to the scrolling endless feeds of Instagram and Facebook. That design is absolutely intentional to promote short engagement and continued dismissal and that’s not something I want to encourage, with mine or anyone else’s art, thoughts, responses and engagement.

I don’t think I’ve addressed how The Internet Is Remarkable, but it’s pervasive in much of what I do on and with the Wire. I think accessibility is one of the most powerful things we do as humans. I’m sure there are folks who are sick of Margaret Mead’s healed femur anecdote or at least people quoting it. I fucking love that quote. I might not like people not fully comprehending it but I sure love what it truly represents. I think something people may be surprised to hear from me is that I will never say that I don’t like people. I really don’t like the quips and memes about hell being other people or I don’t mind going outside, it’s the other people ad infinitum. It’s easy to look at a large representation of behaviour and say “People are stupid” but it’s much more difficult to sit in a room of people you know and tell them they’re stupid. I might find it increasingly difficult to find other adults with which I can engage, on subjects I and they both can and enjoy engaging on, but I both have the willingness to and the optimism that it will and should happen. A part of that is the exercise - the practice of considered expression, of thinking, language and performance. Some of that for me is writing here, some of it is in the musical instruments I play, some of it is in the oral auditory words I speak.

Fucking around is good fun, we don’t always take life too seriously - sure, but we also don’t just fuck around. If that’s all you end up being able to do, there’s so much you end up not doing, not seeing and experiencing. Imagine the only form of expression you have is to tap a heart. That’s not to diminish the power of tapping that heart - mate, smash that shit - did you see that last picture of the beers we bought? DID YOU SEE MY BEERS? Those are some champion fucken’ beers, follow my Instagram.

Look you might need to unplug occasionally or partially or permanently or whatever. This isn’t a sermon, I’m not talking at you, I’m talking to you or rather I’m talking to myself. I’m telling you about myself because like everything I do and typically will always mention, it’s a provocation but also an invitation to talk about yourself. We share with one another to learn about other experiences and grow perspective on our own - you get all of that. That’s why the Wire is a good thing. Accessibility to broader experiences is a good thing.

This mass documentation we’re doing? Even if no-one reads it, even if only a tiny shred of it is shared... do you realise how immense that tiny shred is? Of a billion billion billion terabytes of unread, unseen, unknown data, the tiniest fraction that gets shared between humans is still huge were it to remain hidden and secret - all the wonderful art, the ugly horror, the juvenile silliness, the unending pain and sorrow, the saccharine sweetness, the lilting playfulness, the nonsensical vagary, the bare minimalism, the overbearing eloquence, everything subjective and argued and agreed and ignored.

The internet is an ordinary book of everything made of electricity and you carry a copy of it in your pocket.

I’ll echo similar sentiments to those in the feature on Jeremy Blake. You can be an arsehole, or you be awesome and kind and we can do amazing things together.

[eerythingisshaka]

Wakanda Got Y’all Pt. 8

[Black Panther x Insecure Mashup]

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

Word Count: 4.6K

Issa can’t keep her composure if it was handed to her.  “Lawrence, I didn’t know you were doing waiter work...food service...I mean I didn’t know you worked here!”  Issa stammers, like occupation political correctness is most important right now.

Lawrence adjusts his black bowtie before, tapping his pen in his notepad.  “Yeah, it’s kind of a side gig I got going right now until I get Woot Woot off the ground.”

“You’re still trying to make that happen?  That’s what made you lose your job in the first place.”

Lawrence scoffs.  “”No, the company not believing in something good before everyone else was doing it got me LAID OFF, not fired.  But yeah, thanks for reminding me in front of your...date?”

T’Challa noisily slurps his water, bringing the glass down a little too hard on the table to bring Issa’s attention back to him.

Issa shakes her head in embarrassment.  “Right, this is T’Challa.  I’m working with him at We Got Y’all in an international collab kind of thing.”

Lawrence checks him out suspiciously.  “Yeah I think I heard about it online on some gossip site.  You’re from Africa, right?”

“Wakanda, yes.  Small country that I’m the King of.  It’s actually on BBC, CNN, many cable news networks almost everyday since I’ve been here.”  T’Challa says matter of factly.

“And T’Challa, this is Lawrence, my...ex.”  Issa adds hesitantly.

T’Challa offers a hand.  “I’m sorry for your loss, Lawrence.”

Lawrence peers at T’Challa with a slight attitude.  “Will I go to jail for doing something else with my hand besides shaking yours?”

“Well I doubt you could lose your job again, so....”  Issa snipes.  

T’Challa laughs genuinely.  “It’s ok Lawrence, I understand.  I come to you in good faith.”

“So is this a business meeting or…”  Lawrence says, getting nosy.

*Issa’s inner conscience* ‘Nah nigga this is nunya meeting; as in NUNYA BUSINESS!  Like how the bank teller bitch you fucked on my futon wasn’t my business.  Or maybe like how your unemployed ass left a permanent dent in the couch next to Frank Ocean was none of my business!  When you said you were focused on getting bread who knew it came with butter, bitch?! But what is my business is how I got a new nigga who’s rejuvenating my pussy one stroke at a time.  Best be leave the royal penis STAYS clean, ya brokeness!  I oughta Remember the Time your ass to a pile of dust, which ya dusty ass, Radio Shack ass, ‘may I refill your glass, sir?’ head ass-’

“Well right now we’re just trying to order food, so,”  Issa looks intently at her menu.  “If you wanna grab someone else to help us, that’s fine.”

“No, this is good.  Got a King who’s paying the bill, might as well earn the tip.”  Lawrence smile at Issa while nodding towards T’Challa.  

“Well, did you jot down what I told you before?”  T’Challa asks reviewing the menu once more.

“Yup, the shrimp dinner and the chicken marsala.”

“Good.  Have you had experience as a waiter before?”  T’Challa hands him the menu.

“Long time ago, but I’m really more into technology.”  Lawrence says.

“Oh, so is that what Wot Woot was from?  What is it exactly?’  T’Challa asks.

“We don’t have to get into it tonight, especially since I’m hungry and the order isn’t in yet.”  Issa reminds them through her teeth.

Lawrence waves her off.  “Don’t worry, this’ll be quick.  So Woot Woot is an app that’s a social media app that keeps track of your friends locations.  So when you’re near one, it goes-”

“Woot Woot?”  T’Challa says.

Lawrence snaps excitedly.  “That’s it man, or your highness!  Sounds cool, right?”

T’Challa rocks back and forth.  “It’s a bit out of date, is it not?  So many things have location trackers, and to have an app solely based on that, is like having holo-air boards with an incandescent headlight and a bell.”

“A what now?”  Issa asks.

Lawrence purses his mouth.  “Yeah, it was in development for a couple years and corporate politics kept shelving it so…”

“I do have some family that are into tech.  I would help myself but I’ve been busy…”  T’Challa takes Issa’s hand for emphasis on the subject in his sentence!  “But here’s a card with their info.  Give them your pitch and maybe they can help tweak it for you.”

Lawrence takes it, thinking it over.  “I...think I’m good, but thanks anyway.  I’ll get your bread and drinks.”

As Lawrence walked away Issa spoke under at a whisper.  “I’m sorry about that.”

T’Challa smiles sweetly.  “It’s ok.  I’m not surprised you have broken some hearts along the way.  I just hope it doesn’t affect our dining experience.”

Issa sighs.  “You don’t know the half.  I wasn’t very...good to him.  He didn’t try, but neither was I….I don’t wanna get into it.”

“You don’t have to, that’s not what tonight should be about.  Whatever the case was, I have only known you as woman who does things with intention.  You have a heart for the community that has made me even more excited for the start of the center here than I could’ve been before.  And then I just so happen to work with someone who resembles the the core of a  vibranium mineral being struck with pick axe.”

“What does that look like?”

“It’s beautiful, creates sparks that twinkle like a falling star….but explosive and volatile.”  T’Challa pauses a moment.  “Maybe that wasn’t as poetic as I thought it would be.”

Issa laughs.  “No, it’s nice.  Thank you.”

T’Challa kisses her hand as Issa looks back towards the kitchen area where Lawrence and a couple other waiters juggle orders.  

“I’ll be right back.”  Issa excuses herself making her way to Lawrence, who barely notices her standing by.

“Hey.   How are you?”  Issa asks awkwardly.

Lawrence looks at her with an unreadable expression.  “We got the introductions out at the table, we good.”

Issa’s chin collapses in her neck.  “I know you’re not mad, are you?  You moved on, I did too.”

“So if you know we’re good, why are you over here now?:  Lawrence chastises.

“Why are you being like this? “

“You come up in here with your new boyfriend, the King of Africa and shit and I’m supposed to just sit back and serve y’all?  You know what that feels like?”

“I thought you were good!  It’s not like that though.”

“It’s automatically like that.  I felt low before but now you puttin me under your foot with this new nigga Issa, I’m not tryna be a witness to that.”

Issa scoffs.  “Then don’t!  Get your tip and we can part!”

“You think Imma lower myself to taking his tip?  First he throws his resources in my face, downing Woot Woot, now I’m supposed to hand him a bill with a smile for 20%, you buggin!”

“Lawrence, this is the reason you aren’t getting nowhere.  You think you can do all of this by yourself, but you can’t!  You need help but you won’t ask for it!  It doesn’t matter if it’s a stranger or who I’m dating, you can’t take criticism.”

“That’s why you went behind my back with ole boy instead of talking to me right?”

“I DID TALK TO YOU!  I tried sooo many times, and yeah, I shoulda talked to you then to but we were so past that at that point-”

“And I’m past this Issa.  I’m good.”  Lawrence says.

T’Challa comes up behind Issa.  “Are you ok?  It sounded loud over here.”

“Yeah that’s the cooks man, they get noisy with orders and shit.  Don’t worry bout it, yours coming out soon.”

“T’Challa, I think I’m ready to go, actually.”  Issa says walking away.

Oh ok.  Don’t worry bout it.  Have a good night!”  Lawrence yells after her.  T’Challa and Lawrence stare at each other for a beat before Lawrence shrugs and goes back to his tickets for the night.

----

Molly checked her playlist on her phone to pick the perfect category curated for a twockin good time.  Pressing play, Molly oohs at the beat dropping on Janet Jackson’s ‘Go Deep’ on her 90s queue.  She twirls in her living space as the aroma of buffalo wings snakes around her nostrils tempting her to take another taste test just to make SURE sure that the meat was cooked to perfection.  Before she could go for it, her phone rang: picking it up she sees Erik’s name light up.  Luckily for her, fucking him on the first date didn’t wind up in a ghosting situation.  They’ve been quietly inseparable for a minute now.

“Whatchu doin callin me boy?  You know this Girls Night!”  Molly asks in an accusatory manner, jokingly on her FaceTime

Erik laughs slow, looking like he just took a break from a smoke session.  “I’m just tryna have a night with MY girl, you hear me?”

Molly smiles leaning on her counter.  “Whatever man, you better not be interrupting shit.  They should be here any minute.”

“That’s cool.  I’m just tryna figure out the next time you wantin to hit the mile high club?  I can get my hands on a jet that’ll take care of the work so you ain’t gotta wait for me to land and jump my bones like you crazy.”

“That was a one time thing, I do not trust you on any aircraft.  Damn near killed me with your tricks!” Molly scolds him while turning off her oven.

“Shiiiit, you got your revenge on me there, in the car…”

Molly leans on the counter.  “And it coulda been at your spot too if you wasn’t actin all tired.”

A knock on the door interrupted the list of their future indiscretions.  

“I gotta go!  I’ll talk to you later old man.”

“Pssh, aight.  Big talk, Mol.”

Molly bounces over to the door, pausing before swinging the door open with a squeal.

“Ahh!! Oh!  You’re early!”  Molly says, excitement slightly diminishing as Tiffany puts a stank face on in her direction.

“Uhh, fix your energy.  I lugged four bottles of Moet and some Fiji for me, up your long ass flight of steps, me and my baby will fight you for the blatant disrespect.”  

Molly takes the bags out her hands.  “I didn’t mean it like that, thanks Tiffany.  Have a seat, you’re the first one here.”

Tiffany whips her blonde hair back with a quickness.  “First?  These heffas pulling a fashionably late move on us?”

Molly shrugs.  “You already know what time it is.”

Tiffany goes to the kitchen to pick up a wing.  “I do, and it’s past my bedtime!  These wings are going to bring me closer to that!”  Tiffany smacks loudly on a her morsel of chicken, enjoying the salty, spicy sauce off her fingers.  

“There’s napkins in there too ma’am.”  Molly calls from the couch, flipping through channels.  

“Speaking of things that need to be wiped down, how’s you and Erik doing?”  Tiffany asks, waddling over to join her.  

Molly laughs a little too loudly.  “Whatchu mean?  We’re having fun, and it’s….really been fun too.”

Tiffany cocks her head to the side.  “I can tell, you’ve loosened up a little bit more since meeting him, putting spring in your step.”

“And he keeps me hopping!”  Molly chuckles.  “I don’t know what it is, but he brought out a side of me I barely remember having anymore.  With work and all these lame niggas, I forget what a real cool one is even like.”

Tiffany licks her fingers.  “Well, ‘cool’ doesn’t last a lifetime, like the weather.  And he sounds like a seasonal nigga to me.”

Molly rolls her eyes, pouring some wine for herself.  “Good thing your opinion doesn’t run my life.”

A knock at the door brings a wave of relief over the both of them as Molly trots to open the door.  

Molly brings out a big smile for it to drop just as quickly.  “Oh, hey, are you….Issa’s co-worker?”

Nakia smiles politely.  “I am, Nakia.  Nice to meet you.”

Nakia holds out her hand for Molly to take while she gains her bearings.

“Yeah, of course!  Nice to meet you!  Wow, you’re gorgeous.  Come on in!  Not everyone is here just yet.”  Molly closes the door behind Nakia.  Tiffany waves from the couch.

“How are you!  I’m  Tiffany Dubois,  one of Issa’s friends.”

Nakia offers waves back.  “Yes, nice to meet you as well.  This is a lovely place you have.”

Tiffany scoffs, twirling her honey blonde hair.  “Oh no, this isn’t up to my code of residential requirements.  This is Molly’s bachelorette pad.”

“Tiffany, you recommended me this place!”  Molly exclaims.

“I brought some sweets I hope you all will like.”  Nakia offers a container that was too fancy to be plain tupperware..

Tiffany perks up.  “Ooh, where are they from?”

“I made them actually.  I had some spare ingredients and a craving so I figured this was the perfect time to whip something up.”  

Molly thanks her.  “You can put it on the counter in the kitchen.  Grab a glass of something to drink while you’re at it.”

“No!   Grab a whole bottle!  We have plenty!”  Tiffany insists.

Nakia does so, setting her tray opposite the hot wings.  “So, how long have you and Issa been friends?”

Molly starts.  “For a loooong time.  Almost half our lives now.”

“I came around later, but I like to think I really elevated the class in us all.”  Tiffany adds.

“Bitch, what?”  Molly looks over at Tiffany, who doubles down.

“You all were eating 2 for $20 appetizers and $5 hurricane slushies and the Trops Bar for fun.  But with me, we have tasteful dinner, sipping wine in art galleries, all kinds of high class activities.”

“You do remember partying at the Dunes with them gang bangers almost setting her place on fire and you got so high off their supply, you and your husband conceived that night, right?  Also, I’m a lawyer in this expensive ass loft, don’t tell me I ain’t high class, that’s Kelli and Issa’s trapping asses.”

Just then some raps start banging on the door to the beat of Grinding by Clipse, extra loud making Nakia jump slightly.

Molly gets up.  “Speak of the devils.”  As she goes to open the door, Kelli is bent over twerking her ass in the air Issa keeps the beat on her door, smiling with her whole teeth.

“Get the hell off my door with this shit y’all, DAMN!”  Molly scolds.  Issa ends her concert, smacking Kelli’s ass to cut her ass performance short.

Kelli straightens up, walking on through the door.  “Ain’t my fault, I stand for my national anthem and that means face down, ass up!”

Issa walks in behind her scanning the room.  “Hey Tiffany and oh Nakia, I didn’t know you’d be so on time, I would’ve came earlier.”

“No you wouldn’t’ve.  Cuz I asked you to help me cook these damn wings but all I heard was drool and snoring on your side of things.”  Molly says, heading to the kitchen.

“You know I take nap before girl’s night cuz alcohol makes me crash fast…”  Issa mutters.  “Anyway I brought the hot Cheetos and ranch to snack on!”

“How many bags?”  Molly asks.

Issa looks around her feet, behind her back, checking her pockets.  “One, duh!”

“Is!  How the fuck are we supposed to snack on one bag of Cheetos between five bitches?”  Molly exclaims.

“Tiffany don’t eat them!  Kelli been getting heartburn bad lately, so she don’t fuck with the spice, Nakia?  You had these before?”

Nakia studies the bag.  “ I haven’t, no.”

“It’s nothing but cayenne and cancer, it would be tragic to ruin that good immune system of yours with this American fuckery.”  Molly quips.

“Why are you fighting over it then?”  Nakia asks.

“Because they are delicious!  I grew up with these, and I’m not dead yet so I’m good!”

Kelli pops her tongue from the Moet bottle  tickling her tastebuds. “And bitch, don’t think I can’t still go in on some hot Cheetos.  I just gotta pop a calcium tablet, don’t get it twisted.”  She turns to Nakia.  “So, are you the princess we have heard so much about?”

Nakia smiles humbly.  “No, not at all.  That would require a marriage to the King, which is not happening.”

Molly walks in with the wings on the coffee table, Issa has plates and napkins.  

“And T’Challa is...a king right?”  Tiffany asks slowly.

Nakia sips her drink and nods.  “Yes, and that ship sailed a long time ago.”

Issa almost choked on a flat hanging out of her mouth.  “It got that serious between you two?”

Nakia shrugs, shifting in her seat.  “We’ve known each other all of our lives, so when things changed to a romantic relationship, it was always taken seriously.  But I have my own life that I want to live that does not fit in the traditional queen setting.”

Kelli stutters.  “Oh shit, you….you can do that?  Just telling the King no?”

Nakia laughs.  “It’s not a dictatorship!  I can tell him no when I want to, I can come and go from the country as I please,  plus he knows better than to try me on most things anyway.”

“Oh so you got a hold on him good?”  Molly asks, her eyes whipping back to Issa for a cosign.  

Nakia finishes her drink.  “It’s not just me particularly.  The women in our country are held in an equal and in most cases higher regard than the man.  It hurts me to see these women in other lands I’ve visited being treated unfairly and violently because they are seen as second class.  It was an eye opening experience.  That’s why I know T’Challa enjoys Issa’s company so much.  She is a strong personality, not a people please, and intelligent.  Of course very beautiful.”  

Molly pushes Issa a little with her shoulder as she tries to hold back a smile.  “Oh stop.  I don’t even do a lot.  Plus my makeup routine been so nonexistent, I need to get back on it.”

“Ok bitch, this ain’t your birthday, so I won’t sit for all this overcomplimentary foolishness.”  Tiffany says pouring a small glass of the Moet for herself.

“But at least that means this wine is kicking in, y’all feeling all extra happy and loving.  Don’t go kissing each other now.”  Kelli snorts as she polishes off a wing.

Issa rolls her eyes.  “But Nakia, really thank you for that.  I was feeling really insecure about T’Challa and you, that I thought I don’t stand a chance.”

Nakia reaches across to tap Issa on the knee.  “You don’t have a chance.  You have an open and unadulterated opportunity to get to know a great man.  I would never stand in his way, nor would I stand in yours.”

Issa smiles at her genuinely, squeezing her hand and sharing a moment with Nakia.  She couldn’t believe how supportive Nakia was being but maybe it helped that T’Challa and her are friends first.  And T’Challa showed no inkling of being back and forth between them so maybe she was just being extra paranoid.  He even took running into an ex of hers as better than she would.  All this made the possibilities with T’Challa that much more difficult for her to imagine.

“Now that we all waited to exhale, let me get some dirt on m’boyfriend M’Baku!  My mm-mm good to the last drop!  He got any spare hoes running around the States?”

Nakia pauses to think.  “No, but I know he’s had a harem of choices back home.”

Kelli gasps, looking horrified.

Tiffany touches her back.  “Kelli?  You ok?”

Molly joins in.  “Yeah?  Were you getting serious with him?”

Kelli swallows hard.  “So...he’s got a gang of women over in Wakansas?”

“Wakanda, yes.”  Nakia says curtly.  “But he’s not a bad man either, it’s just his custom.”

“So...I got somebody that is able to maintain that level of sexual prowess.  To keep multiple women and new ones on a regular happy with that shaft?”  Kelli shouts, clapping her hands as the other women look around in confusion.  “Bitch, bring them brownies in.  We are celebrating today!”

The ladies share a laugh as Nakia goes to bring her container of delicious looking brownies.   

“I hope you like them.  They are custom for parties, especially meeting new people.”

She cuts some pieces, and serves them around the group as everyone specifies their preferred pieces: corner, center, edge.  They are an instant hit as the girls whoop over the moist and rich density of the baked good.  Their laughs bounce off of the walls as they open up to each other more and more about themselves.  If anyone were to witness them, they would appear like long life friends with Nakia.  After their dessert, the wings went even quicker.

“Damn, you know I wanted to fuck y’all up for bringing nothing but a bag of hot Cheetos to this dinner party with ya cheap asses, but this shit is hitting!”  Molly says in a relaxed manner, leaning over her plate to take a healthy bite of her wing, chasing it down with a chip.

Kelli is leaned back with Tiffany drifting off on her shoulder.  “That’s cuz...the hot Cheetos are the appetizer to every meal.  Think about it.  Cheetos.  It starts with ‘cheat’.  That means, it’s the cheat code to every meal.  It unlocks the flavor….of whatever you bout to eat!”  

Issa  slowly turns from her lean on the arm of the couch.  “Kelli that has to be the smartest shit I ever heard you say.”  

Kelli nods emphatically in agreeance.  

“So, Nakia….first of all, you the MVP for this dessert.”  Molly starts.  “But you gave the scoop on Issa and Kelli’s flames, what about mine?  Wassup with Erik?”

Nakia sits back in thought, clearly the most lucid of the group.  “Well, we have not known him as long.  He’s long lost family of T’Challa’s, first cousin.”

Issa smacks Molly’s leg a little too hard making her wince.  “Damn girl, the fuck was that for!”

“Shit, my bad.  But we would like double date or something.  Girl, our children would practically be siblings.  That shit mad cute!”

“No they would not, but I appreciate the sentiment.”  Molly says.  “So not much to say other than that?”

Nakia picks up her wine glass.  “I didn’t say that.  There’s plenty to get into, just a shorter span of time he became acquainted.”

“Tell us!”  Kellie bellows to the ceiling out of the blue.

“Him and T’Challa didn’t get along too great when they first met.”

“Oooh, cousins fighting!  That’s some Black shit.”  Issa says.

“And of course Erik wanted to kill T’Challa, so when he didn’t succeed, T’Challa almost killed Erik but gave him another chance and started trying to rehabilitate him since then.  I think it’s going well since Molly seems taken by him.”

Molly stops to stare at Nakia.  Issa squints, raising her hand like a child in class.  “When you says Erik tried to kill T’Challa, you mean like kill you like fuck you up real bad or kill you like first degree, capital felony offense type shit?”

Nakia purses her mouth.  “The latter.”

Molly begins to breathe in and out deeply and frequently.  

Kelli’s head pops up, stirring Tiffany awake.  “Molly fuckin a murder?  Oh shit!”

“He didn’t murder him!  He didn’t do it, T’Challa’s alive!”

“Nah bitch, he didn’t SUCCEED.  Which means he meant to fully end Issa’s dudes life.  Girl, did he choke you when y’all fucked, cuz that could be him testing the waters-”

“Molly, I’m sorry if this upsets you.  I thought that this may have been brought up by now.”

“Well, we’ve only been on like a date and a half so it’s still fresh.”  Molly says.  “But they are good now?  Even after all that?”

Nakia nods.  “Yes.  T’Challa has a kind heart, and respect for the son of his father’s brother, especially with all he has been through.  Erik is Wakandan but never group up knowing this side of his family, so he understood Erik’s anger.”

Molly relaxes a little.  “I guess, that’s a happy ending.  I still gotta talk to him about this, no way I can let this go without his side of it.”  

Issa nods.  “That’s right, you doin great sweetie.  Hear him out.”

Tiffany stretches and yawns.  “I told you girl.  Seasonal ass nigga.”

Nakia reasons with Molly..  “It would be noble of you to talk to him about it.  I’m so surprised you didn’t know.  What did he tell you the scars were for?’

“What scars?”  Molly asks.  

“The scars covering his torso.  They represent….maybe I should let him explain it.”  Nakia’s voice trails off.

“Are they scars from his fight with T’Challa?”  Molly asks.

“Girl, how you not know he got scars on him?  Y’all fucked right?”  Kelli asks.

“Yeah, but it was quick and we didn’t even get our clothes off for real...Nakia, where are they from?”

Nakia looks down.  “I should go.  I can’t tell you without giving away his past.  He should be the one to tell you.”

Nakia gathers the leftovers of her dessert and issues goodbye with the group.  Tiffany and Kelli follow next.

“Hey girl.  If you need pointers on a prison pen pal relationship.  I won’t say I know about how to sneak shit in for him but…”  Kelli makes motions with her head and winks so boldy she might as well have said what she meant.

Molly’s eyes widen impatiently.  “I hear you.  I won’t need your services tonight so thank you, buh bye!”  Molly leads them out the door, leaving her with Issa.

“Hey, how are you?”  Issa asks.

Molly puffs out her cheeks.  “I don’t know girl.  I haven’t dealt with this before!”

Issa nods.  “Well I know you have your standards on guys so if he doesn’t fit, just make it a quick cut while you can.”

Molly makes a face.  “What do you mean I have standards with guys?  Like I’m nitpicking or judgy?

“No!  But I mean, if you can’t make it work with a guy that made less money than you or experimented with a guy once years ago, but give your key to a married man, I think you should put your standards under review at least in this case.”  

Molly walks away from Issa.  She could never take blunt criticism outside of the law firm well, and from her best friend is even worse.

“So I guess I’m that big of a mess huh?  Now I let a murder fuck and what, I’m gonna be his next notch in his belt?”  Molly hisses with contempt.

Issa sighs exasperatedly.  “He hasn’t hurt you now!  Just meet him in a well lit, well populated area and ask him upfront what’s good.”

“You sure have all the answers.  What about you?  T’Challa is a part of this conversation too.”

Issa scratches her neck.  “I mean, I wasn’t going too…”

“Huh?”

“I said….I wasn’t going to BUT, maybe I will.”

Molly nods.  I think you should.  If y’all go the distance, he could run into shit like this on a regular.  Assassination attempts, missions that call for him to fight.  You really tryna be the right hand of a man in all of that?”

Issa hadn’t thought of that.  He is a King after all, and political figures are constantly in need of protection and close watch, but he is so active that’s hard for anyone to keep up with.  And America really doesn’t give a shit, so if he died could she handle?  Would she be tapped to lead?  Would he ask her to live in Wakanda with him?

“Thank Molly, now I’m paranoid.  How can I see him with all that on my brain?”

Molly scoffs.  “Join the club girl.”

Masterlist

RagTag

@hbicprettyprincess @theunsweetenedtruth

@kimianostalgia @airis-paris14

@afraiddreamingandloving

@chaneajoyyy

@myfavemarvelfanfics

@nys30

@blkintrovert

@allhailnjadaka @cutewylie @bidibidibombaclaat@muse-of-mbaku @wakanda-inspired @klaine15689

[doyouknowthemuffinmaam]

Outlander 4x10 The Deep Hearts Core: Spoilers!

Ok so it looks like it’s unpopular outlander opinions time again... I loved this episode. There were a few things that I think could have been done better and I’ll get to those but overall I think this was one of the stronger episodes of the season.

Pros-

•Jamie and Bree: the scene with Jamie and Bree where he overpowers her to prove a point was one I was worried over because that could have gone very wrong. But it was actually one of the highlights because of Sam and Sophie. They killed it. Sam especially. You can just see on his face how much Jamie hates this while he had her in a lock. Brilliant performances.

• Roger: I have had issues with Rogers character a few times but never with Richards performance and this one is a winner. I enjoyed getting to see how smart he is to track where he’s going. The increasing danger of his situation cut with the ‘happier’ moments at Frasers Ridge really hikes up the tension, and makes it so uncomfortable in a good way waiting for the ball to drop on the Ridge. And his face and reaction to finding the stone and hearing that buzz at the end made me cry. If you didn’t then you have no heart. Bravo Richard.

• Mama Claire and Bree: ooof. Claire explaining to Bree ALL of her options and the lack of time she has to choose, was somehow simultaneously heartbreaking and uplifting. All the C&B moments this ep were gold especially since we have seen in the past how tense their relationship was before. Them drooling and laughing over all the things they miss from the future was again heartbreaking and uplifting. I love them. Bree brings out the Claire in Claire that we’ve been missing. Bree’s “I’m sorry for making you leave me” and their embrace and parting shattered my heart.

• The Confrontation and Rescue Plans: I am apparently super in the minority here but there is very little about those scenes I didn’t like. Bree has a temper. She has Jamie’s AND Claire’s tempers. And she is still dealing with a significant and ongoing trauma. Learning that Roger came back for her and was then beaten half to death and sold into slavery and death by her family, and then to have Jamie yelling in her face accusing her of lying, after she was woken from a nightmare where her rapist is attacking her again...he earned that slap. And while Bree will regret the things she said she wasn’t wrong to say them in her anger in that moment. Especially since it was partly true about Frank. That scene was fraught with anger and confusion by all and the tension was palpable.

Brees line when Jamie is raging..”No! You do not get to be more angry than me!”... that was the best moment of the ep. and my favorite line of the season. It sums up the true issue with the entire situation. Not only is she feeling guilty and horrified, but J&Y.I. did this thing to her husband, behind her back, for revenge for her, without actually considering her. Even having the best of intentions, Jamie and Ian made Brianna’s trauma about their anger. It harkens back to season 1 when J&C first got to Lallybroch, and he thought weeJamie was BJRs from raping Jenny and how he was disgusted for the dishonor to him. Remember that? Yeah. Its a reoccurring theme with the men of the show that sucks but makes for good moments when Claire, Jenny, and now Bree have to point out to them and to the audience that it’s not about them! It’s a good message to not make yourself the center of another persons trauma and once again Sam and Sophie killed it. They played off each other perfectly and your heart aches for both. Just wonderful.

• Young Ian and Murtagh: Ian being smitten by Bree is funny. He’s a puppy but he’s a puppy who’s getting to remind us of his range again. John Bell did a fantastic job with Young Ian’s guilt, remorse, and horror about what they did. Murtaghs presence will never not be appreciated. stepping out for the confrontation and stepping in to take Bree to Jocasta were perfectly timed and a good display of someone who knows their place and role in this family.

Cons-

• Claire: While I do support Claire being firmly TeamBree, and she was right to honor Bree’s wishes that she not tell Jamie about Stephen Bonnet...I don’t know... It felt like she was supposed to be feeling torn between the two and Cait should have played that up a bit more. We keep getting these moments about how happy she looks and feels here but it doesn’t always translate. Instead we have reating bitch face/scowly Claire instead of happy/worried/torn Claire in a lot of scenes. Remarkably enough Cait was by far the weak link in an episode of strong performances.

• Jamie and Murtagh: Jamie never fucking learns. How many times are the women of his life going to have to yell at him about making their pain about him before he gets it! Asking Murtagh to hunt down Stephen Bonnet is an astoundingly stupid thing to do and I hate it. Murtagh is not in any position to be hunting down criminals right now since he kinda is one! The whole reason he is on the mountain right now is to lay low from the law! Do I want Stephen Bonnet to fucking die? You damn right I do! But does it feel like going after him now is going to put Murtagh in a terrible position? Absolutely it does. Let’s not forget that Murtagh is not technically supposed to be here! He was supposed to die at Culloden so any risk taking from him makes me extremely nervous for his fate in very uncomfortable ways!

On The Fence-

• Jocasta: I love Maria Doyle Kennedy and she plays Jocasta well but that woman makes me want to roll my eyes out of my head. She’s snobby, but kind, and her obvious plans for meddling are already tedious.

• Murtagh and Jocasta: I have seen some theories about a possible romance between the two and I have no feelings about it. It’s so very ‘eh, sure’. I don’t know what it would add but I also don’t think it would take away from anything so I guess we will just have to see.

Overall this was a great episode driven by absolutely brilliant performances almost all around (come on Cait). What I’m getting is that people need to stop:

A) letting Frank be noted for being a good father and an important part of Bree, make them think it’s somehow a slight against Jamie. It’s not. People seem to think Bree talking about Frank to Jamie is some terrible, disrespectful glorification of his character. It’s not. The writers have been very clear about all his shortcomings in his marriage to Claire. Frank may not have been a good husband, but he was by all accounts (including Claire’s!) a great father who adored Bree and she him. To ignore that IS disrespectful to that memory and that’s rightfully and realistically not something Bree is willing to do. Get over it.

B) thinking that any episode where Jamie and Claire aren’t banging it out constantly is automatically a bad episode! This was a good episode! This is so far a good season overall because of the story! Are there some clunky parts and not great CGI? Yes. But are those few in comparison with the rich and full story being told through some of the best performances in the whole show so far? YES! If all you want is a constant J&C bone-fest then go read some, and then kindly fuck off while the rest of us enjoy a good story.

[noexit-ff]

19. Part 2

“I miss you too, are you going out or staying in?” I said speaking to Robyn, I am just getting out of bed “well I am just going out with some of the team, just a little get together. Is Mel there? Did you not see the pictures? There is a picture on Instagram and some stupid page and Daily fucking Mail made out you was meeting another woman, there is pictures of you hugging Mel. I was so angry, I commented saying that is my best friend dumb ass” laughing out a loud “they stupid as fuck, I ain’t even get to catch up with that. We went to the studio, Mel came along and she is now. I think making food, seeing as you are there” I said in annoyance “you know I had to come here, I just needed to get away from the home” sighing out “yeah but you left me here, we had things to talk about. Listen, I don’t want to argue just have a good night” we are in different countries and anything could happen “I just need to free my mind Chris, didn’t you want this?” Robyn questioned “I want you happy but I can’t do that can I, I love you Robyn just be good” let me get off this phone “I love you too Chris, believe me when I say that I miss you” licking my lips breathing out, I miss Robyn so much and she didn’t need to go. I have so much to say to her “are you going to put this phone down first?” Robyn said in a whisper “who put the phone down first last night? You need to do it first this time” Robyn sighed out “fine, I miss your face. Bye” the phone disconnected, things can be so difficult.

Mel is staying over at the crib and honestly I enjoy the company she is cool people’s, we get on and she cooks. We just been chilling, went to the studio and she heard my new album which I am blessed that she loves. I think I am ready to release it now but I need to go London first “morning” Mel said smiling at me “I made pancakes and you came down just in time” watching Mel hold the two plates “I was going to knock on your bedroom door but I heard you was talking so I started making food” puling the dining table chair back “yeah, Robyn is just I don’t know but thank you for this. You didn’t have too, also I wanted to ask” shuffling the chair in “you are staying in LA right?” pouring the OJ out of the bottle “yeah I am” placing the bottle down “you can stay here, I will tell you all the codes. Stay here” this looks so nice “awww but no, I can’t. I am staying at Jen’ for a while” picking up the knife and fork “but I want you too” I am trying to be a good friend here.

Mel can cook, these women from Barbados can cook “are you nervous about seeing Mijo? He will be coming soon” sitting back on the chair “kind of but I expect the worst so it’s ok, he is going to say get rid of the baby but I am not doing it Chris. I don’t want money from him, I am just letting him know” she shrugged “yeah, I am just thinking. Once I know what Robyn is like, if I can control her with what she is like. I will say it, unless you want too?” I pointed at Mel “honestly, I am more scared to tell my best friend, she is going to be angry, hurt, upset. I feel so sad for her because she was waiting for the perfect man, no disrespect to you Chris but you took your time. You took so long and her time was going, she waited and waited. I goes to her Adam will do anything for you, try for a baby but she wouldn’t. I think deep down she knew she wouldn’t be with him long enough, for someone to have everything. Robyn feels she missed the blessing, remember what I said to you. Emotions, don’t shy away from it. Don’t bury it, don’t let Rihanna fool you. You both need to cry it out, she may be numb to the situation but when you are there she will break very slowly” I need to remember this.

Watching John Wick, I have seen this movie but Mel has never seen it and I can’t beileve she hasn’t. Looking over at Mel “what are those!” she spat, looking down at my feet “this nigga is wearing Rihanna’ slides, look at those toes” busting out laughing hiding behind the pillow “ok, I am done” she ain’t shit “why are you airing me out for?” moving the pillow back and she is still recording me, throwing the pillow and it hit the phone out of her hand “negro, I am posting this now. Those pink slides suit you” resting my head back smiling “I can barely fit my foot in it, and they was just there so I wore them, and now you are laughing at me” hearing the buzzer go off “you won’t be smiling now” she threw the pillow back to me as I got up from the couch, kicking Robyn’ slides off of my feet “look at this” Mel laughed turning her phone to me, she legit posted it “In nothing but your slides on, Chris Brown loving his pink slides” I read the caption out loud “I got you, I swear” I pointed at Mel shaking my head at her, I was so calm and she ruined it for nothing “you been recording me all that time and laughing” I didn’t even notice that shit at all.

Dapping Mijo “good coming out bro” pushing the door close “well I was gong to take Maleah to ballet but you said you needed me to come, if this is something stupid” pressing my home button on my phone, my bodyguards will be here soon. I need to leave for London “yeah well I don’t have much time” making my way to the living area “Mel, Mijo. Mijo, Mel. Say hi friends” walking around the couch “Hi Mel” Mijo said “hi, Barry” sitting down on the couch, Mijo sat across from Mel “who was wearing the slides? Rihanna here?” shaking my head “she is in London still, Mel is here though. I am not going to just sit here and pretend like shit is cool so Mel, I don’t have the time to just sit here. I need to pack for London” I don’t want to be sat here and we all talking about random shit “I am pregnant” my eyes bulged out, see I didn’t think she would have just blurted it out. I think it would have been nice with a little introduction “Rihanna pregnant?” Mijo said, dragging my eyes up to Mijo “no homie, she is not pregnant but Mel is and clearly your fat ass is the father. I fucking told you nigga, I fucking said to you stop fucking with her. She is family” I am so angry at Mijo, he kept going back too.

Mijo is not saying a word “least you got four kids now, more then what I got. Congratulations” I want this over with “it’s not even mine” Mijo said, he really got the nerve to say it “yeah you right, it’s the fucking ghost I had sex with in that hotel room. Mijo it is yours but I don’t care, I don’t want your money and I don’t even want you, I will raise this baby on my own. I am actually very happy, you gave my life a new meaning” putting my head down, I wish Robyn was pregnant. Mel is so full of life, she really has a new meaning of life “nah, I can’t even beileve this. This is bullshit, no fucking way you are pregnant” Mijo pointed “new record for you bro, two women” Mijo rubbed his hands together “you can’t even get one pregnant” Mijo said aloud, he stared at me in shock like he wasn’t supposed to say those words “that was low you piece shit nigga” Mel spat, clenching my fist but he is not worth it “you sticking up for her, I didn’t mean it” I am not going to fight him “bye Mijo, get out of my crib. You disrespected me and my wife and the baby she lost” my voice broke “your life is in shambles, this is on you. Fuck you…. Bro” I can’t believe he would say that shit, like why would you even say that.

I dropped Mel off with Jen, I am still upset about what Mijo said. He is supposed to be my brother and he said that, I feel so disrespected. I am way more then hurt, I couldn’t even hit him because he shocked me. I am hoping to have a nice ass sleep before I get to London. Mel is going to let me know where Robyn will be so I can just meet my wife, resting my head back on the seat “you look stressed as fuck” Cass said across me “more upset then anything, can’t even trust your own family” pulling my hood over my head, I still need to figure out how to talk about it. Maybe I should bring up the subject, I will start the conversation off and then hopefully it will start something. My phone started ringing on the table, looking over at the caller I.D but it is Robyn. Crossing my arms across my chest resting my head back, let me sleep for a while before we get there.

I feel like shit right now, it’s morning here but yet it was just turning night in LA. I hate this time difference shit, Mel has done her deed though. Robyn is in a meeting with her peers but this meeting is with Harvey Nichols, I never know what she is doing. Maybe it’s clothes, or maybe it is make up, I have no idea “it’s this the place” I pointed at the building, the car came to a halt outside “yes it is” there is a bunch of fans here “alright, pay him” I said to Cass “also I need to leave my stuff in this car, can you stay around until I come back? I will pay” the white guy turned in his seat “I will do as you please” Cass got out of the front seat “thank you, I will be keeping Frank behind. You can sit in the car” I won’t be leaving my things just here, I have thousands of dollars worth of jewellery in that trunk. Cass opened my car door, getting out of the car “oh my god, it’s Chris fucking Brown” the fans screamed, Cass placed his arm on my shoulder as we walked, waving at the fans as I walked by.

The receptionist stared at me all wide eyed “Mr Brown” she looks speechless “yeah, I come to see my wife, which room?” she got up from the chair “erm, I must let them know” she said “uh no, just tell me the room. That is my wife so I can go in there, I will say you was on a break. Just tell me” she smiled at me “I am such a big fan oh god, if you go down the hall. Pass every room and the end room she is there” smiling at the white lady “thank you” staring at her name tag “Lauren, I will take a picture with you when I come back” she is blushing mad hard, walking by her “stay here” I can’t take his big ass with me, I know her team won’t be happy. I always side track Robyn but I don’t care, staring into every room as I walked by them all. Seeing the last room , she will be in there. Taking in a deep breath pushing the door open, the chatter of people quietened so quick. Staring at the people’ face and then noticing Yusef “Chris” Robyn spat all shocked getting up from her seat, pushing her seat back “Oh my god, what are you doing here? I mean what” she I said half shocked, walking over to me “I came for you” Robyn is in total shock “talk amongst yourselves” Robyn said before looking at me “I am in shock” placing my hands over her cheeks, lowering my head and pressing a kiss to her lips “I missed you” moving my hands “come in, sit with me. Help me make decisions” Robyn grabbed my wrist pulling me in, Robyn’ photographer smiled at me, this is so awkward for me.

I have no idea what is happening, I am just going to sit back and agree “I want a section in the store just for my make up, I am giving Harvey Nichols exclusives. Nobody else will have it” catching Jay Brown looking at me but he turned his head away “I have bought testers for you all” I have missed my wife so much, Robyn looked to me “so good to see you” she said in a whisper “same, I am so tired. I don’t even know where I am” Robyn touched my leg “I am nearly done” placing my hand over Robyn’ “what do you think?” Jay Brown asked them “what you should be saying is when will you sign the contract, you telling me Rihanna’ name does not sell? If you don’t wish to have it then I know Selfridges will, ain’t this what y’all want? Sales, she gave you the testers now ask her to sign the contract with the section in the store she wants” the executives stared at me in shock “Robyn has a meeting with Selfridges next so she will be in touh with you” I am selling my wife, getting up from the seat. Robyn looked up at me “yes I do have a meeting with Selfridges” Robyn agreed, I don’t know if she has but it’s a damn lie I think. I am bored of hearing this back and forth shit, it’s so tedious “no, we want it. I accept it. We will give the section and everything you want” smiling down at Robyn “under one condition, exclusive lipsticks just for us? We want them made just for Harvey stores” Robyn nodded her head “I agree” I am glad that lie worked.

I can tell they have been having long nights here, drinking too “don’t your ex live down the road from this hotel” Robyn picked up the empty wine glass from the side of her bed “he does, my ex. Which is in the past” pressing my hair down “so is everyone sharing this room? Well the top floor?” following Robyn to the kitchen area “yes we are, so anyways. What is this? Why are you here? Mel lied to me, she told you” nodding my head “she did” don’t shy away from it, I think I should just say it “I came to support you, to hug you” Robyn placed the wine glass down on the side “I was coming back home” she said lowly “was you? I feel you hate me, don’t speak. Let me just speak on this. You left for London and it was my bad for letting you go and let you leave, you looked at me and cried. You didn’t let me hold you or even speak to you, you saying I don’t get upset about this shit but I do. Just because I am a man not going through or don’t mean I do not care. Ok I didn’t want a child because I didn’t know about life, I didn’t know what was happening about us. I am scared to be a father, no doubt about it I was. I promise you now I wanted you to be pregnant more than ever, when I saw they was negative I was hurting but we just deal with it differently. And when you said about the termination I don’t really speak on such things but I will admit that it was wrong but we was so young, I do think about it. I think how that child would be what ten going on eleven but you see the shit that happened between us, it was no time to bring a child into that. We are ready now but you need forgive yourself” Robyn shook her head rubbing her arm with her hand sobbing out “I can’t” walking over to Robyn.

Grabbing a hold of Robyn’ hands “baby, this was all of our decision not just yours. I am to blame too and I am so sorry for what I said about Mijo, I am so sorry for letting you down when you was waiting for me all that time. I am so sorry I didn’t show you how much I am hurt, you didn’t just lose a child but so did I. We both terminated that baby and we both lost another baby” Robyn moved her hands away from my hands and fell into my arms crying “this hurts so much” Robyn cried out, holding Robyn close closing my eyes as tears fell from my eyes. I didn’t hold her like I should have, I didn’t show emotion to her “I am hurting too Robyn, I promise you that I will do everything we can. It won’t bring back little MaxPower” that just came to mind, I did actually name that child. Robyn laughed but then sniffled “you was so stupid, we was happy but then the adults got involved and then we realised we would be stuck but I wish we was. I told you I was pregnant and you took is so well and called it MaxPower, but then the very same night you went to the club. You wasn’t around for the termination, I was so alone but I got over it. I went on tour, and that was it” wiping my face with my hand “I was stupid, the child would have been stuck with two childish parents. I wasn’t ready but I promise you Robyn when I lay there I do think of it. I don’t say shit because that is me. You my wife, I want you to carry my seed. My future king or queen. I want that so I don’t want you to think I am heartless because I am not and I don’t want you to be blaming yourself, listen to me when I say this” placing my hands on her shoulders “this was never your fault, we did it together. We going to heal together, I am staying here for you” hugging Robyn.

[pass-the-bechdel]

LOST s06e17 ‘The End’

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?

Yes, four times.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Nine (33.33% of cast).

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Eighteen.

Positive Content Rating:

Three.

General Episode Quality:

As much flack as it cops, I actually think this might be the best and most fulfilling series finale of any show I have ever watched. Near perfect, in my eyes.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:

Passing the Bechdel:

Juliet and Claire pass in a line at the concert. Kate and Claire pass together, three times.

Female characters:

Kate Austen.

Rose Nadler.

Sun Kwon.

Juliet Burke.

Claire Littleton.

Shannon Rutherford.

Charlotte Lewis.

Eloise Hawking.

Jane.

Male characters:

Desmond Hume.

Jack Shephard.

David Shephard.

James ‘Sawyer’ Ford.

Hugo ‘Hurley’ Reyes.

Sayid Jarrah.

Charlie Pace.

Ben Linus.

John Locke.

Bernard Nadler.

Miles Straume.

Richard Alpert.

Jin Kwon.

Frank Lapidus.

Boone Carlyle.

Daniel Faraday.

Pierre Chang.

Christian Shephard.

OTHER NOTES:

Aww, Hurley is so happy to see Charlie:

“This would be so sweet if we weren’t all about to die.”

Rose and Bernard are the real heroes of this show.

Good news, Richard. The fact that the show is about to end means that your days of being thrown around by a smoke column are coming to a close.

Not gonna lie, I’ve seen this episode (and show) many times already over the years, but when the music kicks in as the characters experience their awakenings I’ve still got fuckin’ chills. 

I know it’s just procedure and whatever, but Locke, completely bald, wearing a hair net as he’s about to go into surgery? I’m laughin’.

“You’re not John Locke. You disrespect his memory by wearing his face” it is nice to hear Jack speaking out in Locke’s defense, and for a real reason, unlike when Jack was just kinda feeling adrift in life and guilty because of Locke’s suicide. 

“I was shot by a fat man.”

Claire is having her baby, and did NOT just instantly announce it the second she felt a contraction. 

Kate LITERALLY has her awakening triggered by CLAIRE and her baby, rather than by a romantic connection. Chant it with me now: Kate’s character and life is not defined by men! Kate’s character and life is not defined by men!

KAAAATTTEEEE SAVES THE DAYYYY!!! KATE KILLS THE BIG BAD! KATE IS THE HERO! “I saved you a bullet.” She’s my badass. The greatest badass in all the land. Never try to tell me she’s just some flip-flopping floosie.

“What’s your timetable?” “DON’T BOTHER ME!” “...Sounds like they’re making progress.”

Obviously I object to the idea that Jack could be considered Kate’s ‘soulmate’ despite being an abusive fuckwit who treated her like total crap the entire time they knew each other. As intensely hetero as this finale is, it mostly doesn’t bother me because the relationships were pretty great, but Jack/Kate is a major exception to that rule, man. 

Kate loves Claire Kate loves Claire Kate loves Claire

Oh my God. Ben, outside the church, apologising and saying goodbye to John. And then the scene on the island where Hurley appoints Ben as his second-in-command on the island, and then back to the church where Hurley pops out to thank Ben for helping him so well in that job. All three scenes, back-to-back, and FUCK they’re good. I’m not saying that this, and Jack’s complicated history with Locke, and Kate’s bond with Claire, etc...I’m not saying it really makes me realise just how strong the non-romantic relationships on this show have been and how much more I wish they had balanced the awakenings and such with platonic love as well as romance, but...as good as those (SUPER HET!) romances mostly were, the show and its characters had so much more to give, and I wish they had acknowledged that more explicitly. 

Note the multi-faith interior of this afterlife-church:

Look, I get that a LOT of people think that somehow this show ended with ‘and then they were all dead all along!’ but that is...explicitly stated OUT LOUD as not being so? The whole explainer-conversation Jack has with his dad here at the end. It’s very clear. I would almost argue that it’s TOO clear, that they coulda been more subtle with it, but then the huge number of people who apparently did not pay attention and managed to misinterpret it anyway must mean the level of explicitness was the right call. Any more explicit and they might as well have just brought on the showrunners to literally explain the story directly to the camera. Sorry if it seems like I’m being awful rude about other people’s intelligence or comprehension here, but I just. Am baffled that this is such a common misconception. They were not dead the whole time. The island is not purgatory. The ‘flash-sideways’ IS the afterlife, and that’s why it’s a place where they each learn lessons or achieve goals that they were never able to work out when they were alive; they complete the journeys their souls had been on, and then they come together so that their spirits can move to What Comes Next together. The island is real and everything there happened is real and they were alive on the island. The ‘alternate reality’ of them all off-island in SEASON SIX ONLY is the afterlife. Honest to God it’s not complicated.

Whew. Ok. Got a little heated there for a moment but look, I have been defending this ending for seven long years. As with any finale - and especially for something as huge and existential as LOST - there are plenty of people who hate it, and that’s their right, etc. But I love it to death and continue to consider it one of the absolute best finales I’ve ever seen. Probably still THE best, actually. For all those who complain about the ‘unanswered questions’ left behind: honestly, I think there’s only ONE question I’ve encountered that I couldn’t find an answer for (and I can’t even remember what it was because it was a minor detail, not anything important). I pretty much guarantee you, there’s an answer right there in the show, you just gotta look for it. Personally, I am incredibly thankful that they not only tied up all of their loose ends, they did it without hanging a lantern on absolutely every piece of the puzzle as they filled it in. I like going “but what was the deal with [thing]?” and then putting some thought to it and finding the solution myself, and then applauding the writers for doing such a wonderful job of combining all their elements so organically that they function as if they were simply meant to be. It seems to be a pop culture buzz-phrase these days to make some joke about LOST+lack of payoff, but for anyone who just parrots that, it’s lazy, and anyone who actually believes it? Needs to try a re-watch and maybe pay attention this time. It’s not rocket science, and I hate feeling like I’m being intellectually superior when I say so. It’s not confusing if you just...use your critical thinking skills? I swear, this show is not confusing, it IS dealing in metaphysical meaning-of-life stuff that can be kinda heady for some people (I LOVE that shit so obviously it doesn’t bother me), but it’s not some big blustery build-up of weird that never goes anywhere. Everything has a purpose in the narrative, it’s all there for a reason. Everything except maybe Jack’s tattoos.

[tokyoknj]

a load of tags! ✨🌟☀️

lmao i was busy doing uni stuff but now i finally got round to these so Enjoy !

obviously u don’t have to do all of them just do whatever u feel u kno? anyway

i’m tagging u all up here lmao so i’m tagging @namsieur @wingscomeback @sugaegyc @sugasideup @sheloveskook @cryptidhobi @gaycypher @namjooniewifey @iluwonho @jiminsarroz @stigmz @dreamjimn @mochiminii let me know if u don’t want to be tagged in stuff like this !! 

get to know me tag

answer the 20 questions and tag 20 followers that you would like to know better.

i was tagged by @monnyoongi​ thank u zuza!

name: alice

nickname: i don’t really like any of my nicknames? lmao

zodiac sign: cancer

height: 5′8″

orientation: A Whole Bi

nationality: british

favourite fruit: mangos! 

favourite season: either summer or autumn

favourite flower: either roses or tulips

favourite scent: like just a fresh summer evening lmao

favourite colour: pink, red + orange

favourite animal: sharks !

average hours of sleep: i think 9?

favourite fictional character: clarice bean

number of blankets you sleep with: always just the one

dream trip: either dubrovnik, mykonos or the amalfi coast

blog created: last april

get to know me again

rules: answer 30 questions & tag 20 blogs you would like to know better

tagged by @yoongicrew​ thank u rena !!

1. nicknames: still none lol

2. gender: female

3. star sign: cancer

4. height: 5′8″

5. time: 4:24 pm

6. birthdate: july 21st

7. fave band(s): bts, blackpink, red velvet, lany

8. fave solo artist: gallant, Queen CRJ, kehlani

9. song currently stuck in my head: saw you in a dream - the japanese house

10. last movie watched: spiderman homecoming and i Loved it

11. last show watched: first dates

12. when I created this blog: last april

13. what I post: 95% kpop, 5% aesthetic

14. last thing I googled: “that flute song” still don’t know what the song is. its not mask off tho

15. any other blogs?: my aesthetic blog dadcrisis that i’ve had since like 2012... christ

16. do you get asks?: not very often but its all good

17. why I chose my url: i love mister rap monster

18. following: 919

19. followers: 809

20. fave colours: pink, red, orange

21. average hours of sleep: 9

22. lucky number: 8

23. play any instruments?: drums

24. currently wearing: my pyjamas xoxo

25. how many blankets I sleep with: just one

26. dream job: oh idk. charming radio host probably

27. dream trip: just v scenic places across europe

28. fave food: any cured ham... Hell Yes

29. nationality: british

30. fave song currently: you better know - red velvet

kpop q’s

tagged by @teambusan​ thank u sabes xoxo

1. who was your first female bias?

i think it was jennie i was very late to girl groups lmao

2. who was your first male bias?

namjoon.... what a guy

3. who are your current biases? other than the above:

johnny, jinjin, rosé, jiwoo, wonpil, dahyun, luna, jooheon, shownu + dean

4. in the entire kpop industry, who is the closest to your ideal type?

probably shownu... like he’s a sweet n humble dad who is just also fine as hell... thats what i’m about ! also jennie like she’s just Gorgeous™ like i would lay down my life for her in a heartbeat tbh

5. have you ever attended any kpop concert / fanmeeting / fan sign?

How Dare You

6. if yes, which group / artist? how was the experience?

i cannot believe this disrespect

7. which group /artist would you like to see live?

bts, blackpink, monsta x. day6 !

8. how did you get into kpop?

my friend showed me fantastic baby (lmao) when we were like 15 and then i dropped it for a bit but then i saw a dance practice for no more dream like last year so now i am Here

9. who are your otps?

whom????

10. when did you start to ship them?

🤔🤔🤔

11. what is your favorite fanfic genre?

honestly i’ll read whatever turns up on my dash as long as it’s not involving furries or anything Truly Nasty

12. what is your favorite music genre?

pop has and always will be my fave but i like other stuff too ofc xoxo

five things tag

Rules: you’ll have to tag 15 people at the end of this challenge

tagged by @cypherpart420​ thank u linsey ily!

five things you’ll find in my bag: purse hand sanitiser keys vaseline water

five things you’ll find in my bedroom: Trash Mountain nik naks fan approx. seven 1d posters radio

five things i’ve always wanted to do: go to glasto ! go on a trip just to look at palaces across europe lmao see bts ! adopt 2 dogs and live my best life go somewhere with a really clear view of the stars and just Cry

five things that make me happy: family dogs my pals xoxo listening to music baking

five things i’m currently into: fake nails crafting my Brand lmao big brother hydration arrested development

five things on my to do list: embark on my Fitness Journey get my professional blog going plan what i’m doing for my bday get a skincare routine get money

once again, get to know me

i was tagged by @parkmochibean​ thanks natasha!

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

THE LAST: 1. drink: water 2. phone call: my sister 3. text message: my friend explaining exo sub-units to me lmao 4. song you listened to: young & free - xiumin and mark 5. time you cried: probably looking through val from bake off’s insta she’s just the cutest 6. dated someone twice: no 7. kissed someone and regretted it: yep ! 8. been cheated on: no 9. lost someone special: yes 10. been depressed: only my whole uni career 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: only twice i know my limits now lmao

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: 12-14. pink, red and orange

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. made new friends: yes 16. fallen out of love: no 17. laughed until you cried: ofc! 18. found out someone was talking about you: yes lmao 19. met someone who changed you: yes 20 found out who your friends are: yes  21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: no

GENERAL: 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them 23. do you have any pets: no :’( 24. do you want to change your name: no i enjoy her 25. what did you do for your last birthday: went for afternoon tea w my family 26. what time did you wake up: 11am its summer now i do what i want 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: idk chilling i guess 28. name something you can’t wait for: my birthday !! 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like an hour ago 30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: idk if i’d been confident Forever i think that would be pretty good? 31. what are you listening to right now: faking it - kehlani, lil yachty, calvin harris 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes 33. something that is getting on your nerves: my older sister she’s just so Loud 34. most visited website: this or youtube 35-37. lost questions?? 38. hair colour: brown 39. long or short hair: i want long but i’ve got medium rn lmao 40. do you have a crush on someone: no 41. what do you like about yourself: i’m good 2 my family and i think i’m quite nice? tbh? 42. piercings: ears + nose 43. bloodtype: idk yikes 44. nickname: none lmao 45. relationship status: Single™ 46. zodiac: cancer  47. pronous: she/her 48. favourite tv show: bojack horseman, rpdr 49. tattoos: just one (1) 50. right or left handed: right 51. surgery: on my hand and i was awake for it but they played me some 1d so it was chill 52. piercing: ok i literally just answered this 53. sport: thats cute 55. vacation: just various fancy places across europe before brexit ruins that free movement 56. pair of trainers: i only wear my adidas but they’re on the verge of death now rip

MORE GENERAL 57. eating: werthers originals i’m a nan 58. drinking: water 59. i’m about to: go tf to sleep 61. waiting for: my birthday lmao 62. want: money and ideally a job that looks promising 63. get married: Who Can Never Be Sure? 64. career: either radio or social media 

WHICH IS BETTER 65. hugs or kisses: hugs 66. lips or eyes: eyes 67. shorter or taller: don’t really mind 68. older or younger: older 70. nice arms or nice stomach: also don’t mind lmao 71. sensitive or loud: sensitive 72. hook up or relationship: relationship 73. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. kissed a stranger: yes 75. drank hard liquor: yes 76. lost glasses/contact lenses: my first pair of glasses... rip 77. turned someone down: yes 78. sex on the first date: no 79. broken someone’s heart: probs not? i hope not 80. had your heart broken: no 81. been arrested: no  82. cried when someone died: yes 83. fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. yourself: Always ! 85. miracles: sure why not 86. love at first sight: no 87. santa claus: he’s doing his best 88. kiss on the first date: sure 89. angels: idk?

OTHER: 90. current best friend’s name: robin 91. eye colour: green/blue 92. favourite movie: i’m basic it’s love actually

shuffle tag

tagged by @kpopeyton thank you !

rules: you can tell a lot about a person based on the type of music they listen to. put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people. no skipping!

wake up alone / amy winehouse

first love / bts

pyramids / frank ocean

i didn’t just come here to dance / carly rae jepsen

girl girl girl / triple h

21st century girl / bts

you better know / red velvet

wolves / one direction

coffee / miguel

view / shinee

[warriorbeeofthesea]

Furniture Arrangement (6677 words) by soultoast Chapters: 5/? Fandom: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow, Penelope Bunce & Simon Snow, Penelope Bunce & Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Characters: Penelope Bunce, Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Additional Tags: Snogging, Post-Watford (Simon Snow), Post-Canon, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Mentions of Sex, Sexting, (sort of), Frank discussion of masturbation, Drinking, car makeouts, Awkward Sexual Situations Summary:

Simon and Penny move into their flat, and Baz helps them settle in.

Chapter 3

Baz

  I can tell Simon's a little drunk when he kisses me. We don't kiss in front of people, but he's pressing an open mouth kiss against my lips, and his mouth tastes sweet and warm. 

  I want to melt into this kiss, but Bunce is watching and I have a reputation to maintain. 

I pull away from where I'm bent over his chair. He pulled my face down to his as soon as I walked up to the table. I'm trying not to swoon at the completely disrespectful man-handling.

  "Baz." He grins at me stupidly as I take a seat. "Would you like some sake?"

  I turn to Bunce. "Did you get my boyfriend drunk?"

  "Well obviously not on purpose. I just wanted to help him relax, but apparently he's never had a drink before. And he's really bad at it."

  I snort.

  "I'm not actually that drunk, you guys." He leans closer to me, and I'm pretty sure he thinks he's whispering this next part. "I'm really sorry I didn't respond to your text. I was a little freaked out."

  He's talking too loud and being overly affectionate, and I want him to stop talking about my text in public. Or at all.

  Penny nudges a sake cup to me and raises an eyebrow. I nod, and she pours for me.

  "Baz, I learned that it's bad luck to pour your own sake. You have to get someone else to do it for you." Simon is a regular font of information tonight.

  "Who's been pouring for you, then?"

  "Well, after Penny stopped I decided I can handle a bit of bad luck."

  Simon

  My head feels fuzzy. I don't know if it's the wine or Baz letting me press him against the inside of my front door.

  "I'm literally standing right here! Your room is five steps away!" Penny is frustrated, but I know she's happy for me. She told me at dinner.

  I pull back from where I've been nosing against Baz's neck. "Can we talk in my room?"

  Baz smirks at me. "Sure, let's go talk." He's putting emphasis on "talk." How dare he see through me like that.

  I do want to talk. Penny and I even worked out discussion points. There's a list. But none of that seems important right now.

  Baz

  Oh. This certainly isn't talking.

  I think we were actually trying to talk at first, but now I'm sitting on the floor next to Simon's folding bed and he's over me, knees bracketing my hips and hands in my hair.

  I've got Simon in my lap and his tongue in my mouth. Crowley. I could die like this.

  Now he's rocking his hips against me and making little noises into my mouth. Fuck.

  Fuck. We should stop.

  I don't want to.

  Simon

  My body craves this and I want to stop thinking and let instinct drive my hips into Baz again and again until I'm finally satisfied.

  I think he might let me. 

  Merlin, I don't think I can handle this. 

  "Baz," I murmer against his lips. "Baz, I want to stop doing this." 

  "Then get off of me." He pulls his face away from mine and makes sure I can see him rolls his eyes, but he also gently pushes my hips away from him and stills them with strong hands. 

  Baz

  Simon pauses a moment to catch his breath and then climbs off my lap to sit next to me.

  "When will I be ready for this?" He sounds defeated. I want to kiss him but I don't think that would help.

  I shrug. "Doesn't matter when. Just matters that it's not right now." He frowns. "Hey, it's alright, love. Really."

  I take his hand. Back in familiar territory. We sit in silence a moment, and he plays with our intertwined fingers.

  "Snow," I hesitate, but he looks at me expectantly. "Do you ever... Do you wank?"

  "Everybody wanks, Baz." He's embarrassed and defensive, and saying yes without actually admitting to it.

  I snort. "I know that, but I figured if anyone were too virtuous to get himself off it might be Simon bloody Snow."

  I worry for a second that I've struck a nerve and that we'll fight. I think he's thinking the same, but then the moment passes and he's laughing into my shoulder.

  "Why, though?" He asks when he's caught his breath again.

  "I just want to know how bad I should feel for trying to rile you up."

  "Sod off, you wanker!" He's grinning at me. I'm not sure if he's more proud of his joke or his flirting.

  He looks back down at our intertwined hands. "Do you? You know..."

  "Yeah, I do."

  "When?"

  "What, are you asking for an itemized list?"

  "No! I just mean... When did you last?" He's blushing like mad. "Is it OK that I want to know that?"

  Simon

  Baz drops my hand and turns his body to look squarely at me. "OK, just to be clear, you don't get to have any ownership over my masturbatory habits. I'll tell you now because the thought of you knowing gets me incredibly hot, but I might change my mind."

  I nod solemnly.

  He relaxes next to me again. "I took a shower just before I came out to meet you tonight..."

  "Oh!" I don't know why I'm surprised. "And you... Why?"

  "Don't ask why. I don't like that."

  "Sorry! I won't."

  He looks at me critically and then continues. I think he's going to tell me anyway. "I'm always a little keyed up when I know I'm going to see you. And knowing that you've been kind of keyed up about me made it worse. And I was still thinking about the text I sent you, but I was kind of embarrassed and angry that you showed it to Penny." He smirks at me. "It was a confusing wank. But it was really hot."

  Now I'm imagining Baz in the shower, angrily getting himself off. Fuck. 

  Baz

  Simon looks lost in thought. "This is kind of... new for me," he says slowly.

  "What is? Talking about wanking?"

  "Thinking about wanking." He looks cautiously at me. "Baz, I think I've been kind of repressed."

  I roll my eyes, but then bump my shoulder gently into his. "You're not used to being horny."

  He laughs. "I guess not."

  "What changed?"

  "I'm still not sure. But it was something you said at the leaver's ball. I'm still figuring it out."

  Simon 

  "Are you going to have a wank when I leave for the night?"

  I guess he deserves an answer after being honest with me. "Yeah."

  He smirks at me. "Let's go see if Bunce wants to watch a movie together. I'll be here for a while yet."

  That git.