#YES IT'S A VAMPIRE SPAWN AND YES I PLAYED TOO MUCH BG3

[dreamaturgy]

hypothetically speaking, what do you think might happen if a vampire spawn bit dream of the endless? to either of them. i know "nothing" is probably the right answer here but what if i don't want the right answer

[multiverse-menagerie]

I've had this buzzing around in my head since Neil posted something about Asrarion liking kids and hhhhhhhhhhhh may I please request your headcanons for the bg3 guys as dads, I am begging you

gnawing on this actually thank u

Astarion

his child/ren are his entire world. his partner is still like no.2 but the kid/s will always be no.1

its an Ordeal for vampire spawn to have children, so i think that'd make Astarion even more likely to devote himself to being the best father he could be

is absolutely the type to be like "this is my partner and our child/ren, they're way to good to be talking to you but alas"

he's the soft parent too, Astarion finds it so hard to punish his child/ren. both from fear of going too far and due to how much he adores them

dress up with dad days. Astarion with small, messy pigtails.

Halsin

daddy Halsin for real -wiggles eyebrows- (im sorry)

the type to load everyone up and go camping for however long, teaching the kid/s how to live off the land or showing off his wildshapes to entertain them

unwavering support for his child/ren (and his partner) - he tries his best to instill a sense of justice in his kid/s and respects any decision they make, assuming they can offer him a good reason

Halsin and his kid/s would Absolutely play little "pranks" on his partner, but its very harmless, silly stuff to make them laugh

his kid/s often begs to sleep with "bear dad", and who would he be if he declined?

Wyll

i honestly think Wyll is meant to be a "girl dad" lmao but he'd adore any child

he'd grown up with a (mostly) good dad who'd taught him swordplay and other practical skills and I think Wyll would want to do the same for his child/ren

he is So. Patient. willing to hear his child out about why they broke the rules, why they're acting out. He knows that sometimes there's a good reason for what looks like a bad decision

Wyll is the bedtime parent; he tells stories the best, according to the kid/s. sometimes Wyll will drag his partner into helping him out fun scenes

makes sure to have dinner with his family everyday, regardless of what type of life he's leading. they're the Most important thing to him in the world

Gale

stay at home, soccer dad vibes

is (surprisingly?) content to let his partner go off and adventure or what have ye, while he stays home with the kid/s, sneaking in some reading or experiments once they're asleep

is All In for his kid/s extracurriculars. of course he'd be happier for more ~magical~ endeavors but even if the kid is learning sword-work or some other physical thing, he'll be there to cheer them on

maybe pushes his kid/s a little too hard in regards to studying/school. Gale works hard to reign in his expectations - he knew how hard it was on himself, why do that to his kids?

the way his kid/s will have the most ostentatious vocabulary. but they also think its funny to mimic him in an even more over-the-top way bc it makes Gale's partner laugh

[happyflux]

Saw a really long post today where someone was talking about D&D vampire lore, compiling what different sources say about it (including the Baldur's Gate games) and, y'know, for the most part it was a good post, it's a useful and good quick reference on what the different sources have said about vampires.

(readmore because this turned out long oops)

But then at the end, and in an addition to the post replying to a tag someone had put, the post began talking about applying all this lore to BG3 specifically, and it made me think. Because the takeaway that post had seemed to be that the things about vampire lore which are consistent to the rest of D&D do apply to BG3 as well, and that Astarion is simply an exception due to his extremely strong willpower and sense of self. And that just doesn't seem right to me at all. It feels like missing the point.

BG3 did some very specific, very interesting things with the lore of D&D. In terms of vampires, yes, but also more generally, BG3 pretty consistently gives the message that the things that are said in the rulebooks are not necessarily true, but are oversimplifications and generalizations that are believed to be true in universe.

BG3 got rid of racial ability scores, giving every race the same "choose a +2 and a +1" that variant humans can have in D&D. BG3 not only got rid of racial alignments, but got rid of alignments entirely - there is no detect evil and good, protection against evil and good has been replaced with a spell that mechanically protects against outsiders of various kinds, there is no alignment selection for player characters, no alignment showing up on inspection despite pretty much entire stat blocks being visible, and the companion characters all have complex morality that doesn't fit neatly into any alignment box. BG3 establishes and many times repeats that Volo, the in-universe author of a lot of the texts we have access to about Faerûn, is an incredibly unreliable source. BG3 has Halsin, a large-built and hairy elf (something which the rulebooks claim is impossible as elves are slender and graceful and have no body hair), say that "sometimes I think conventional wisdom is too narrow about what someone can or cannot be".

On the topic of vampirism specifically, BG3 has Jaheira (who is established to be wise and knowledgeable due to being an experienced and well travelled adventurer) say "They say that the only thing a vampire can feel is hunger. Nothing else touches them - not grief, or mercy. Or any sense of what is just. Who knows. There is often more ignorance than insight in what 'they' say", in response to Astarion remaining a spawn. And, on an Astarion origin run, it is established that at least half of his siblings can be convinced to want to oppose Cazador (it's just that non-origin Astarion chooses to antagonize them instead), and they can be persuaded not to feed off of people, and even without Astarion suggesting it Dalyria will take the initiative to help and take care of the other spawn. And, and this I think is crucial, every vampire we see in BG3 aside from possibly Vellioth is established to have been through circumstances which could easily twist someone and turn them horrible, no magical twisting of emotions or inherent existential evil required.

To play Baldur's Gate 3 and take away from it that the things which D&D lore has previously said about vampires apply to this game, and that Astarion is just somehow Special because of his Extremely Strong Willpower and Sense of Self feels like completely missing the point. Vampires in BG3 are evil because they're stuck in a cycle of violence and suffering and aren't able to escape, and when they are given an escape from that cycle they are able to heal and recover and be more than what they were made. Astarion does not have exceptional willpower, Astarion got lucky. He got out, he made some connections, he got a chance to heal and unlearn the things he'd been taught before being thrust back into Cazador's presence, and that's why he's able to break the cycle. Or, alternately, if the people he finds when he gets out don't push him to unlearn the things Cazador taught him and instead reinforce those beliefs, he becomes just like him. Again, no magical twisting of emotions required.

[coffeenonsense]

I usually try to stay in my lane most of the time (mostly bc I am far too old for fandom drama) but what the hell, it's friday, let's put that lit degree to use:

the way people are playing morality politics with fiction is really starting to genuinely irk me and I think some of the responses to ascended astarion are a perfect example of why this type of thinking is actually hugely detrimental to one's ability to meaningfully engage with fiction and also to the future of art.

astarion is one of the most well-written complex characters I've seen in recent years bar none (and I'm clearly not alone given the explosion of his personal fandom lol) and he has a truly compelling, emotionally resonant character arc whether you ascend him or not

If you keep him a spawn, you get a deeply touching, realistic character's journey to healing and personal growth where he learns who he is after the experience of his trauma and depending on the player's choice, explores his relationship to sex, romance and intimacy

If you ascend astarion, you get an equally emotional and well-rounded character arc where he chooses the power that allows him to have the desperate freedom and safety he's wanted, but in the process eschews any hope of real healing or personal development, and again, depending on the player's choices, restarts the cycle of abuse by taking cazador's place.

These options offer vastly different paths for the character and experiences for the player, but while yes, ascended astarion is the evil ending, and yes, ascending astarion is a tragedy, and a fucking incredible one (not only do you have astarion reigniting a circle of abuse but you have the narrative weight of KNOWING he could have actually overcome his trauma...hats off to the bg3 team tbh) but that does not mean ascending astarion MAKES YOU AS THE PLAYER EVIL

Ascend astarion because you love tragic story arcs, ascend him because you want to indulge in a master/slave vampire fantasy, don't ascend him because you want a healing character journey, don't ascend him because you want a sweet romance; all of these choices carry the same moral weight for the player, which is to say, none, because they are an exploration of fiction.

I know I'm saying this to the villain fucker website but it bears repeating; just because someone wants to engage with evil, fucked up characters or content does not mean they support evil acts in their real life, and furthermore, exploring dark, taboo or tragic concepts safely is part of what fiction is for. It enables us to look at those things from a distance, work through difficult feelings and develop greater understanding of what makes our fellow humans tick — and before you get it twisted there's also no moral issue with exploring fucked up media bc you're horny or just, because. You can take it as seriously (or as sexily) as you want.

It's starting to really concern me how many people not only do not get, but are violently opposed to this concept, because equating what someone likes in fiction with their real life moral code and actions is an incredibly dangerous and let's be honest, immature way of thinking that not only stunts your ability to engage with fiction but ironically, hampers your ability to deal with complicated issues and emotions in real life.

I don't know what's driving this trend (though purity culture is certainly playing a role) but it's definitely something that's not just impacting individuals but contributing to the commercialization of art, where we get games and stories and tv shows and books that regurgitate the same safe, mass marketable plotlines and character archetypes over and over and over again so corporations can squeeze out as much profit as possible.

Anyway, remember kids: There's no such thing as thought crime, reaching for morally pure unproblematic media is directly contributing to the death of art, and this is why funding the humanities is important.

[thatdangeroussmile]

I ascended Astarion for the first time and I was given the option to Detect Thoughts before I knelt to see “What he really thinks of me”.

Long post but interesting analysis of Ascended Astarion and him turning the player character under the cut

Things to keep in mind (but that I know probably don’t really matter):

Approval was at Exceptional (100)

This is a Dark Urge play through so I’m the literal child of a God (which all companions knew at this point)

No Astral tadpole had been used or discussed (the subject was dropped entirely which now I regret).

I did indeed have sex with Mizora and I am also romancing Halsin (both interactions have no impact on your romance with Astarion)

So tell me why, when I did my wisdom check to detect thoughts, I GOT MY FUCKING FEELINGS HURT.

LIKE MY ACTUAL FEELINGS.

FOR REAL, MY GUY? AFTER EVERYTHING? YOU’RE GOING TO DEGRADE ME FOR ETERNITY?

BUT FOR WHY?

And when I refused, “it’s not hard to find someone like me once in a millennia” is what he spat at me (while checking his nails so unbothered) and the interaction ENDS ABRUPTLY.

I, of course, went back and went through with it because I went through hell trying to ascend this fucking asshole but I could use some insight on why Ascended Astarion decides to start degrading you as soon as he ascends.

I kissed him at camp just after Cazador’s dungeon, and I got one of the three very degrading kisses and my character hadn’t even been turned yet. Thank goodness it wasn’t one with the slap included.

It was all downhill after the long rest.

SO LET’S UNPACK THIS

At first, I was like, after all that he went through it sucks he’d turn me into a spawn too. You have an option to say this to him before he changes you and he again, tries to explain it away, gaslight, and manipulate you into trusting him so he can bite you.

But, it isn’t just a bite. Not like when he was changed right?

RIGHT! In my mind, I was like, I’m not delulu he’s definitely toxic but this toxicity feels unfortunately familiar.

I reblogged a post (I don’t have it now but scroll and you’ll find it) that got me thinking, why would Larian make this choice for Ascended Astarion if AA is the real Astarion without the mask? Spawn Astarion spent the whole game talking about how much being a spawn sucked and then as soon as he isn’t one is going to try to make us one? That doesn’t make any sense story wise OR character wise.

Anyway, the post in question talks about creating a vampire bride and the lore in Dungeons and Dragons 2e.

Even if you are or arent familiar with the lore but have played bg3 to hell and ALWAYS romance Astarion, chances are you always have the dialogue after he feeds on you in ACT 1

Where he says, “If I’d been a true vampire, that bite would have turned you into a vampire spawn, like myself”.

The dialogue goes heavily into what it takes to make a true vampire, but we also immediately learn that if you’re a true vampire, it doesn’t take much to make a spawn (Astarion’s change into spawn follows 5e rules- the bite must take hit points to zero and then he was buried in the ground for him to rise the next night under Cazadors control). Meaning, if us as the MC had been paying attention, there is no exchange of blood to make a spawn. The subject gets nothing. They are bitten, dead and buried to rise as a slave.

Returning to the part of the ACT 1 dialogue about how one makes a true vampire, Astarion says “In Theory” meaning he isn’t sure. But yes, “The Vampire would drink your blood and you’d drink theirs,”.

Sound familiar?

ACT 3 right before he changes you, “I’m going to drink you dry and then grant you one drop of my blood”.

This isn’t how you make a spawn. This is how you make a true vampire or more specifically for the case of the game a vampire bride but the ritual is almost the same.

They drink your blood, you drink theirs.

Another way you can tell that he didn’t turn you into a spawn is that, when Spawns emerge, the emerge knowing exactly what to do and how to be a vampire.

Because your character was not turned into a spawn but is still very much bound to Ascended Astarion (if you’re dark urge and go to the tribunal after and try to throw your weight around as a child of bhaal, they call you a slave and then initiative starts), is because you’re a Vampire Bride(gn).

Vampire Bride’s do not wake up knowing what the hell is going on so AA straight up lies to you. You do indeed have free will and while, no you still cannot just walk away because he’s still your creator, he can’t compel you to do anything. And, that’s why you’ll still be seen as a slave by outside forces and other gods because you would need AA permission to break your bond.

Anyway, why this toxicity felt familiar is because the first thing he says is “Thank you for trusting me”. And then he goes ahead and lies to you and DEGRADES YOU TO MAKE YOU FEEL POWERLESS.

And then love bombs you to make you stay “The world will be yours and mine, etc”

MORE DEGRADATION

BECAUSE FOR ALL YOU KNOW, YOURE A SPAWN AND COULDNT LEAVE IF YOU WANTED TO.

Even though he made you a true vampire, his bride. And instead of telling you that and trusting you, he degrades and lies to you and makes you think he could control you at any time to MAKE SURE YOU NEVER LEAVE HIS SIDE.

[edda-grenade]

astarion/durge

the seduction works well. perhaps even a little Too well.

decided to just post some of the massive mess of bg3 fic i've written, bc a lot of it stands p well on its own, like this thing ^^

(no one gets eaten or murderized or even cut open, buuuut. durge. so.)

_____

Barash cocks her head at him. It keeps reminding him of a cat. A very large, very dangerous, not at all soft-furred cat. With so many teeth.

“So…?”

“Oh, no need to keep playing coy,” Astarion says, smiling winsomely at her. “I felt you shaking when I drank. You want more, don’t you?”

Barash doesn’t blink for a very long time. “Ye-es,” she says finally. Her tail lashes through the air, then stills abruptly. The skin of Astarion’s neck prickles, but he ignores it. Steps closer, allowing his shoulders and hips to sway a little. Barash’s eye tracks the motion like a snake following a mouse. He almost has her. 

“Then why should we not indulge ourselves? Find a little privacy, while the night away together…” She’s still staring. “I do mean sex,” he clarifies. He gives her chest a teasing tap. “We’ve waited long enough, haven’t we?”

Barash growls. Smiles.

“Till tonight,” she says. Her black eye seems to sparkle.

.

It’s easier than he expected. Well, Barash herself is rather heavy, but she’s happy to fuck him with those strange dragonborn appendages of hers, requiring naught from him but the occasional arching of his back and a breathy moan. Those are not particularly difficult to provide—the sensation is pleasant, which is a nice surprise. Her scales are warm against his skin, and not rough enough to damage him. At least not the way she is touching him, curled over his back with her thighs framing his, her chest pressed to his shoulders and her hands roaming his front. There will likely be scratches from her talons by the end of it, but the forest floor alone is contributing its share of those. Overall, a resounding success—

How much would you bleed, if I cut you open right now…

Astarion goes still.

Crack apart your ribs, eat your heart.

It's not the tadpole. Is it? That thing always shoved images into his mind, memories. Not… words. Not the sensation of the night sky bearing down on him in all its cold vastness. Barash’s tongue drags along his shoulder blade, a blaze of molten iron.

You're right, I want more, more. Hold you, break you, taste you.

It's her.

Oh gods, it better not be. He can feel her teeth against the nape of his neck.

“Barash,” he croaks, forcing the words out past his gallows-tight throat. “Darling, are—are you. Talking. In my head?”

Barash stops moving. The low growl she's been purring out stops too.

“What did I say?” she asks.

Is she serious? He can't read her tone, his thoughts whirring frantically. His entire body is cold like ice, quivering with tension. She's not Cazador, he thinks, she's not Cazador, she's not, she's not.

She just wants to kill and tear and bite, and she murdered that annoyingly sweet little bard in her sleep.

For a brief, glaring moment, Astarion's mind stops drowning in panic for long enough to think that he should’ve fucking seen this coming.

“Astarion? What did I say.”

His thoughts scramble.

Lie. Lie. Don't give her ideas.

She already has ideas, for fuck’s sake—!

It'll be fine! She fucked Lae'zel already, and Lae'zel is distinctly ungutted.

Lae'zel is githyanki, not some scrawny, malnourished vampire spawn—

Selective honesty! Just lie a little!

“You—you were… fantasizing,” he manages. There, that’s even the truth. Probably.

Barash rumbles in acknowledgement, sounding… tense. Before, her body felt loose with hunger. Now it’s a coiled spring. Astarion really really hopes she’s not going to snap closed on him.

“That’s why you smell like fear now, huh.” One of her talons traces down his belly toward his cock. “Did you like it?”

Astarion swallows. Almost chokes on it. He tries to turn, just enough to see her. The ridge of her brow, the edge of her maw. Teeth. That eye dark and glittering like the night sky. His insides are trying to knot themselves into a noose.

“You can tell me anything,” he murmurs. By some miracle he manages to keep his voice steady, low and sultry. “Whatever depraved things you’re dreaming of, your secrets are safe with me.” He presses back against her, so her jaws slip over his shoulder. Those needle teeth no longer right at his neck. “You can trust me,” he lies.

Barash lets out a sharp breath, smoke and sparks. She hauls him close, back and up until he’s straddling her lap. Astarion wheezes with the sudden motion, his heart making a valiant attempt to pound. Barash is growling again, that deep buzzing noise that by all rights should be called a damn purr.

She nuzzles him. His neck, the top of his shoulder. Her tongue flickers out to taste his skin. His spine, between his shoulder blades…

A gift, Cazador had said. A poem from my hand, to keep with you. Always.

“I want to rip open your scars,” Barash whispers, “give you new ones.”

Astarion has to slap his hand across his mouth to keep a sound inside. A word, strangled between his teeth.

Yes.

[rottenbrainstuff]

BG3 playthrough - CAZADOR

Spoilers and my thoughts on spawn vs ascended Astarion below.

But let’s begin with a disclaimer, because everyone is taking this discourse way too seriously: these are MY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS, I am talking about MY PREFERENCES AND MY OBSERVATIONS. I think everyone should play the game however they like and leave everyone else alone. YES, EVEN IF they are doing things you don’t agree with.

My poor little computer continues to chug its way through the city, but I’ve been getting a bit bored with the little random arbitrary quests of act 3 and I wanted to do something fun this weekend, so I decided to go to Cazador’s palace.

It definitely does feel like there was initially a plan to have more content in there that they weren’t able to get around to finishing… stuff like the unresolved threads with Amanita Szarr, stuff like the bizarrely empty basement, stuff like the aftermath of the big party, Victoria’s body (which I understand you used to be able to talk to, which was since cut out since her lines contradicted the plot in other spots?) sure, unfinished, but I’m really not THATbothered by it. I dunno. I’m still enjoying the game a lot. I can feel how much work and care went into it, I understand how long it was in development for and what a risk they took with it and how they almost went bankrupt trying to get it finished. In a perfect world I wish they could have had all the time and money that they needed to make act 3 as slick and organized as act 1, sure, but am I still enjoying myself? Am I still emotionally invested? Do I appreciate the work they did? Yes yes and yes. I’m not bothered.

Ok thoughts. The lore here is only fragments so you really have to flesh it out in your mind. It’s interesting how long Cazador managed to survive compared to his ancestors. I think it can be assumed that this is because Cazador was much more reluctant to make other vampires than his predecessors. We get only a tiny glimpse into what Vellioth was like, and I think it’s very interesting to think about how the game shows us that Astarion was punished with a year of being locked away, while Cazador was punished with eleven years of impalement. I’m sure in Cazador’s mind he is a more benevolent master, and his ungrateful spawn don’t understand how good they have it. It’s like an abusive parent who doesn’t understand why you complain so much, because when they were a kid they got the strap, look at how much nicer they are to you, you’re just being ungrateful! Cazador is really strikingly unimpressive for all the buildup he got, and I can’t decide if that’s funny, or a lost opportunity. Ever since I since I started playing, I wished there was an element of cycles of kindness and apology mixed in with Cazador’s abuse, because in real life that’s such an important part, these moments of calm where you think things might get better and things could work and you want to believe the bullshit that they’re saying. There’s none of that at all with Cazador, but maybe it just would just make the narrative more complicated, and also more disturbing, so that’s ok if it’s not there, it’s just a thought.

The fight was a lot easier than I was expecting and I found that a little disappointing. I skipped ahead one night just to see what the fight at the House of Grief was like and I was really challenged by that… Cazador is a whiny little asshole, comparatively. I wouldn’t have minded a bit more of a challenge. And yes I know I can bump the difficulty level any time I want, but I haven’t had to do that for any other fight. I’m just saying, I think the fight could stand to be a little trickier.

So here’s Astarion’s big choice - similar to Wyll, and different from Shadowheart and Lae’zel, you can’t just leave him to decide by himself and see what he picks to do. You must decide either to help him, or you must decide to talk him out of it.

I did the spawn choice first, because this is what my Tav would do. Wow, beautiful scene, so emotionally satisfying and cathartic. I really like that there was no attempt to be like, well, you can’t kill Cazador because then you’d be just as bad as him… no, even with the spawn route you are able to at least get that piece of revenge. I like it. I chose to release the 7000 spawn. It’s supposed to be a difficult choice, and for sure it is, but for me there really isn’t any other option in the end. After learning it isn’t 7 souls on the line but 7 fucking thousand, Astarion stubbornly tries to justify his commitment to going through with the ritual by saying these spawn are so far gone they’re better off dead now, but I disagree. That’s not at all the impression I get talking to Sebastian and talking to the Gur girl. I think that’s him feeling uncomfortable with suddenly being shown the consequences of 200 years of collecting victims. 100%. Sebastian has been there almost since the beginning and he is coherent and can express that he doesn’t want to die. It’s heartbreaking. I can’t condemn 7000 people to death because they MIGHT hurt people later. Look, I know, 7000 spawn loose in the underdark, they are going to hurt people. I’m not naive. But the last time I checked, even in places where capital punishment is a thing, you’re not actually allowed to execute someone preemptively because you think they MIGHT do something wrong EVENTUALLY - you have to actually wait until they do something wrong! It’s not a good situation, for sure. I can totally understand why other people in the world would be angry at me for it. I can totally understand why the Gur are angry at me for it. Totally get it! But like. The bottom line is, I can’t decide to destroy 7000 sentient people.

(I’m ok with the Gur being angry, but I DID really appreciate that at the very very least, Gandrel is talking about wanting to go and find their missing children. Yes thank you, at least one single person who wants to at least TRY and see if something can be done)

Everything after this is just so breathtakingly lovely: Astarion’s confusion about feeling numb afterwards, which ties nicely back into Aylin’s feelings after she cracked Loroakan in half, and the beautiful act 3 romance. Man. Like. It all really got me thinking about just how much Astarion has changed since act 1, how he’s being so honest here, so vulnerable, so sweet. His act 3 romance is all about moving forward and becoming free and why it isn’t easy. I’m so proud of him. Man. Man.

After this, his conversation dialogue changes yet again, and a dark urge has the option to try and break up with him because you’re afraid you might hurt him, which prompts him to give this amazingly sweet and supportive dialogue, man. Just. Babe is so sweet with a dark urge tav, I can’t stand it.

So some people have said they wish Larian had added in an option to hug Astarion while he’s wailing after killing Cazador - adding my disagreement here. This moment is all about Astarion. He’s letting out 200 years worth of grief and anger and pain, this is his moment, it feels really odd to me to insert myself into that, leave him alone with it. He wants to let it out, not have a hug. There is plenty of time for comfort later, there are two conversations about it post-fight, even.

Some people have also expressed discomfort with how Astarion uses the line “I could be persuaded” (to have sex). Personally I do not have an issue with this line the way it’s used here. I think his word choice is meant to be funny and to deflect the seriousness and significance of this milestone he’s suggesting, because he’s still working on this whole vulnerability and honesty thing, and I think people are getting too hung up on the literal wording and missing the contextual cues. I think Astarion’s intentions for the night were clear in his mind from the beginning. I think his entire plan for the evening was to have this chat with Tav and try sexual intimacy again. If you tell him you’re not in the mood, he acts surprised. If you go along with it, he is very much in control and setting the pace. “I could be persuaded,” he says, as if he wasn’t the one who asked Tav to meet him there, as if he hasn’t just turned to them expectantly and taken their hands like he wants to talk about something very important, as if telling him you don’t know what he means causes him to clarify that he wants to be sexually intimate, as if he doesn’t express surprise if you say you don’t want to. He doesn’t need persuading, this is the whole reason he’s set up the little graveyard date. I think……. I think people place too much emphasis on literal words. In real life things are rarely so neat and efficient. That’s totally valid if some people are bothered by the line, but I do think it was NOT the intention to suggest Astarion HAS to be persuaded. This is just how Astarion likes to talk.

While talking to the imprisoned spawn, a certain path of dialogue leads to Astarion having a bit of a revelation about how up till now he’s always clung to the reassurance that he’s not responsible for any of this because he was enslaved by Cazador. “Yes this was horrible what happened, but it’s got nothing to do with me, I couldn’t help it. While we’re here we might as well make the best of a bad situation, right?” But now he realizes… it’s very true that back then he didn’t have a choice, and I don’t begrudge him that at all, not for a second… but now he does have a choice. And he needs to think very very carefully about what he is going to CHOOSE to do. I’m so happy he realized that. He’s always clung so stubbornly to this rationale as we learn worse and worse things about the ritual, and I think this is the first little light shining through the crack that he needs to challenge himself.

After that was all done, I decided to try letting him ascend.

I knew what happens, I knew how things change, I’d seen clips of the alternate romance so it’s not like I didn’t know what was coming. Somehow though I was still surprised, much more than I thought I would be.

Cause ouch, it hurt. It hurt WAY more than I was expecting.

And hey kudos to Neil, A+ acting, this is why he’s winning all the awards: man, ascendant Astarion is a totally different character. Immediately, and completely. He immediately begins speaking to me differently. He SOUNDS different. He talks different. As soon as I heard him laugh for the first time I knew that I would never be able to do this in a normal run.

Ascended Astarion is very sexy. He’s very much now the hot bad-boy vampire, the bad guy from the movie that everyone writes fics about. He’s now very much the sexy bastard with the delicate little love interest sitting demurely on his lap while he rules a kingdom with an iron first type thing. I’m all for that, normally. If this was the Astarion we met in act 1, I’d probably still love it.

The problem for me is that IT���S NOT the Astarion we met in act 1, and that HURT MY FUCKING HEART.

The Astarion I have traveled with for two and a half acts is a bit of a bastard, yes, but he’s also silly, and cranky, and insecure. He’s been struggling with allowing himself to be vulnerable around me, and as he’s gotten more willing to drop his guard, this really beautiful personality has been emerging. He has a capacity for empathy that Cazador couldn’t even torture out of him after 200 years. The BEAUTIFUL things he’s said to my durge! The BEAUTIFUL thoughts he has in the spawn romance scene!

That is GONE. It’s dead. As soon as I heard him laugh for the first time, I knew how much of a mistake this would be. My precious, mean, beautiful, sharp, silly, sad Star was gone. Ascended Astarion will never be honest or vulnerable ever again.

I was shocked, very shocked, how quickly and completely Astarion changes with his dialogue and how much of a bad taste in my mouth it left. He sound different but he is also very much above everything happening, very much above me. After we left the palace and I had the chance to have a conversation with him, at first I tried to roleplay the conversation naturally, and I responded to him in a less than enthusiastic way, the “wrong” way, and he fucking shouted at me, and it just. It made me sick, absolutely sick. It reminded me of accidentally saying the wrong thing to my abusive ex husband and suddenly I’ve triggered a fight and I’m scrambling to say all the right things to placate him. I hated it. I hated it. I hated it SO much more than I was expecting.

The ascended romance has some of the same beats as the spawn romance and I think it’s obvious that’s on purpose. Again, it’s a contrast that hurts my heart. Rather than taking the lead because he is exploring his desire, allowing himself to HAVE desire, here he is taking control because he’s enjoying the feeling of having you underneath him. Rather than being honest and vulnerable and sharing this last piece of his history with you and pondering the trajectory of his life and his future, he’s talking to you in this syrupy voice and putting on a grander performance than ANYTHING he ever did in act 1 and there’s nothing behind it except possession and control. HURT! MY! HEART!

Astarion is strong and powerful now, and no one will ever hurt him again, that’s for sure, but here’s the thing: being alive means being hurt sometimes. You can’t make yourself strong by stepping on the backs of people the same way you were once stepped on, and you can’t prevent your heart from being broken by just burning out your heart. That’s not freedom and that’s not happiness. Without honesty and vulnerability, there can be no love, and it makes the act 3 romance feel depressingly hollow.

My resisting durge tav’s entire story has been about how he’s trying to resist his dark urges, resist his biology, and be a new, different person, and Astarion has been helping him. Similarly, my tav has been trying to help Astarion to do the same. The only reason my tav would ever NOT stop Astarion from ascending is if he tried and failed to convince him, and he now has to watch sadly as his love makes this terrible choice and lets his fear win.

So yeah. That’s my thoughts on that. I’m usually 100% all for the bad guys, I love the bastards. If that was the bastard we started with, I’d probably love it. But I fell in love with a different bastard who is already beautiful exactly the way he is, and who is basically totally destroyed if you go down that route. It hurts me to see him change like that. I do really enjoy that the game gives you both options, so you can play how you want to play, and so you can explore and see what happens down each path. I love how people have different reactions, I get how some people find a kind of catharsis or satisfaction in putting Astarion down that darker route. For me it’s a hard pass, hard pass, a much harder pass than I was expecting. Kudos to Neil and kudos to the writers for developing everything so beautifully.

Phew.

I still can’t get over how silly and sweet Astarion is being in the dialogues with me now though. I think as they explore more sexual intimacy, my tav would tease Astarion a lot about how it must feel to be a little vampire spawn who has bhaal’s own son at his complete and utter mercy and I think Astarion would get off on that, haha. Up next I guess I’m going to head over to the Elfsong and do the Emperor’s bullshit errands. Man this is such a good game. I’m so glad it’s being so recognized with awards, but I also hope it’s been selling a lot?

[alpaca-clouds]

Let's try to get some perspective

Okay, let me quickly talk about it, because I saw this coming up again and again. And don't get me wrong, I absolutely do get the anger about Larian going: "Alright, we will start to slowly step back from further updates on BG3." I get it.

Because, yes. The companions, who are not Shadowheart or Astarion do deserve more work on their questlines (especially Karlach and Wyll, who very much are underwritten right now). There are some story threads left hanging, too. And yes, we all can name at least one NPC, for whom we would want a bit more content. Also, yes, there are still some bugs that make the game crash for some users, which sucks as well. (A friend of mine cannot play the game. It crashed as he entered act 2 last October and he has been waiting for an update that allows him to continue playing ever since - and it still does not work.)

But... Please also consider, that Larian already gave us a lot more in terms of support and updates, than most studios will do. Especially in terms of story and quality of life updates. I honestly have never been part of a game community with anything near the associated cost of a game like BG3, that did not only release several updates for story and characters after the game release, but did this for free. Like, sure, this is the kinda stuff I have come to expect from some Indie studios, but not a studio that is AA.

Basically no other big CRPG has ever given us so much in terms of updates and support. At least in a long, long while. Usually games get shipped out broken and unplayable (looking at you, Cyberpunk 2077) and then over months get fixed into a somewhat playable state, before support ends. But with not much in terms of story or quality of life updates.

And you have to see that the big issue with those big ass Patch updates is, that they do cost a lot of money, and do not really bring in that much. So the return on investment is not the best. And sadly Larian, too, lives under a capitalist system. They need to make money to keep existing as a studio.

Now, of course. Most of us (maybe not me specifically, but a lot of folks) would love some DLC for BG3. Let us explore the hells with Karlach and Wyll, visit the vampire spawn in the Underdark - or something like that. And given that Larian could absolutely monetize such a DLC and people would love it.

My personal theory is that due to WotC firing all the people working with Larian, they just are so done with the entire WotC thing. Which I get. Believe me, I get it.

But in general... They do not owe us and DLC. Just as they do not owe us BG4 or whatever.

Would I personally love them take on another DnD/Forgotten Realms game? Yeah, absolutely. But again: I get it, if they look at the burning dumbster fire that is WotC and go: "Yeah, no."

And they will still fix bugs for a while. That is the one thing that they do arguably owe. Given that for some people those bugs are gamebreaking, and who paid for the game should be in their right to actually play it. But everything else?

And don't get me wrong: I absolutely do have loads of criticism for them. Especially in regards to the lack of body diversity in the game, the lack of PotC characters, and how underwritten some characters are (again: Wyll and Karlach). There is tons of stuff to criticize. But... you know, it is still okay for them to move on. And yes, it sucks how underwritten the two PoC companions are (reminder: Karlach is Asian), and it feels at the very least like bias. And I do hope Larian will do better with PoC characters in future games. But... Let's be honest, it was always unrealistic to expect, that they would do the massive updates needed to properly flesh out those two storylines.

[thebearemoji]

My thoughts on the astarion romance (spoiler: they're not good)

Hoo boy going right from the wonderful bliss of karlach's romance to this.... dark mess of despair was a hell of a whiplash.

So I'm gonna assume if you clicked on that read more that you don't care about spoilers. If that's not true then dont read this. To be clear we're on the same page, astarion has two potential outcomes. You let him complete cazador's ritual and ascend to big boy vampire or you stop him from completing it.

The game made the choice to make a statement with the outcome of astarion's quest. If you don't break the cycle of abuse, then you're perpetuating it. Astarion after completing the ritual is much more cazador than himself. The romance takes this one step further, the only way to continue it if the ritual is completed is to willingly become astarion's spawn. The game implies in no uncertain terms that you will meet the same terrible fate he was so recently trapped in. Cazador's master tortured him. Cazador tortured astarion. One way or another Astarion will torture you.

He even has a line of dialogue after you reject him along the lines of "Of course I'm familiar with love. I would've tormented it out of you until you had nothing left if you'd let me." That's just the start. Just about every line to come out of a romanced evil astarion is stunningly toxic, he pretends to love you, threatens to leave you, all to get you to agree to become his spawn. You can even read his mind to find out he thinks you're degrading yourself by staying with him. It's stunningly dark, and part of me respects the writing for sticking so hard to their guns.

Speaking as a fan of roleplay focused games, this did take me off guard. I'm accustomed to games treating evil choices as options to explore your characters and develop a sense of gray morality. Because... it's a video game for fun and sometimes its fun to do silly pretend evil things and twirl my pretend evil mustache. But bg3 will occasionally treat evil choices as sins that the narrative will punish you for, sometimes immediately, sometimes later down the line. And astarion is undeniably one of these choices. A non romanced evil astarion is fine, i guess. but i know i'm not the only one out there who fell into the trap of thinking astarion could be the other half of my evil power couple.

I don't think this is necessarily inherently bad on its own. It severely reduces any desire I have to ever play an evil character again in this game, which sucks because I love minthara. HOWEVER

I got a bone to pick with the good boy astarion romance too.

So of course after the gut punch of evil astarion romance, I reloaded and made him the same good boy i did on my first play through. The subsequent romance scene is nice, and he gets the same beautiful heart-wrenching catharsis that made me sure he was the one I wanted to romance second in the first place.

But throughout all the later conversations, he keeps returning to this idea that he "seduced" my tav. ??? Where. From where I was standing, act 1 he propositions me for casual sex, my tav says yes. Afterwards he proposes continuing to have casual sex, my tav says yes.

And yet he keeps saying these words "I seduced you, manipulated you, used you." And the fact that he's admitting it is meant to show character growth.

But why is the game so determined to make my tav his victim??? Why are those my only two options? The dialogue choices didn't give me a way to say "you didn't manipulate me, I chose to be with you of my own free will, knowing what you are." There's nothing i can do to flip this narrative that my character was used and wronged, even though i dont believe she was. And that left the romance feeling very polarized, like there are only two lenses with which to view romancing astarion.

You are either his victim that he lies to for a grand majority of the game. he doesn't even like by his own admission, he claims he used you for protection. But he grows to appreciate all you did for him and even love you.

Or his helpless thrall, equal parts a victim but hell at least at that point you're embracing the kink of the whole thing.

Tbh, neither of those really do it for me.

In conclusion, astarion is an amazing character, I'm never romancing him again, and finally,

that is all

[redstaratmorning]

Headcanons and Musings of Pirate-y And Plunderous Proportions: Astarion Says What

Synopsis: Random musings and ramblings regarding and spawning from the differences between how Astarion says just one word, depending on your choices—“What?” This got very long and touches not only on Astarion’s difference in presentation in aforementioned moment, but also some discussion-thoughts to chuck onto the dashboard regarding some other elements of Astarion’s content thus far in Early Access, and some thoughts to add onto others’ speculations and wonderings (I did not save sources so pardon the lack of proper citation, oops. We’re going informal here anyway.) Spoilers for Chapter 1 BG3 scenes, plot, etc, under the cut in case someone hasn’t filtered out the tags. Trigger warning/content warning: some discussion of heavy topics is mentioned and explored, including starvation, abuse/torture, and trauma. Other topics of note for summarization include speculation on Astarion’s largely unknown as-of-early-access background and a touch of his possible pre-vampire morality leanings, possible mental state/trauma reaction in a couple of scenes, and vague speculation on Larian’s gameplan for Astarion’s arc ending. Gather thy party and venture forward, for here be dragons and lots o’ text, matey! [/stereotypical pirate accent]

“What?” Just that one word, between the goblin party and the tiefling party. If Larian keeps the body language and tone presentation more or less where it’s at now in Early Access, they are worlds apart and delightfully up for interpretation of just what’s going on in our favorite vampire spawn’s head. This won’t be an in-depth post about all the tonal and body language differences, just picking out a few due to personal constraints (ie too broke to buy this game currently.) Edit: And also a lot of other thoughts and ramblings tacked on, lol. On the one hand we have him at the goblin party, where he seems much more superficially comfortable there, knows what’s going on and knows what to expect—it feels like he’s done this kind of scene a hundred times before. The comfort of familiarity. Did Cazador throw “parties”, much like how he “invited” Astarion to dine with him? I wouldn’t be surprised if he mingled at regular dinner parties either before his turning, or perhaps after when he’s ordered to hunt for Cazador’s evening repast. I doubt the goblin party has anything as potentially horrific as what Cazador would have lined up on the nightly basis, which is why Astarion isn’t aggro’d: he’s in a position of power at this party after all, not a powerless one. A conquering hero, as he describes the MC. A Precarious position, as it turns out.

Circling back to that one word though, the way he says “what” in that scene after he propositions the MC and the MC picks the “Maybe. If you say please” line feels like Astarion’s response could be interpreted as pretty abrupt. On guard, perhaps, squaring up, offended, even perhaps lowkey challenging/hostile. Expressing social displeasure and possibly staring down the MC mayhaps? Could be, especially if Astarion’s body language remains as it is rigged now in-scene with that step forward, his shoulders shifting, the lack of a smile, that assessing glare, all combined with that flat tone of voice. The animation could just be temporary and subject to change, but if it does end up as more or less the final version of that moment’s depiction, it’s pretty interesting as a shift. I’d read it as potentially “not actually truly comfortable in this situation, just familiar and numb to it all”, especially when combined with some of his other earlier potential lines at the goblin party, such as the following: Astarion: So, what are we drinking to? Other than a pile of corpses. MC: That’s not funny. Astarion: Oh don’t be so sour - It’s a party. You did what you had to. Don’t be ashamed that you did it well. MC: I wish things had turned out differently. Astarion: And I wish I was drinking out of the skulls of everyone who’s ever wronged me. Life is tough. Although that’s not to say we can’t have a little fun. This supports the whole “has been through his personal hell and has adapted to survive it albeit not unscathed” story Larian seems to be going for with him quite nicely in the little tells and details. A sort of “take what joy you can even amidst the dark situation surrounding us” trauma-induced adaptation, coupled together with actual enjoyment on his part for killing. It’d be easy to say Astarion is moreso in his element at the goblin party, and to a degree he is—it’s one he is well practiced with in his current mindset. Compare now how he acts at the tiefling party—we can all agree he’s not having a good time, our friendly neighborhood vampire sulking in particular over the fact that “there’s a worm in [his] brain, [he’s] surrounded by idiots, and all [he] has to drink is wine that tastes like vinegar.” But the delightful thing is he’s complaining so vividly about it. The wine likely is worse at the tiefling party, seeing as they’re refugees, and the goblins had previously captured a duke whom they likely stole loot from and under orders from Minthara et al stored said goods elsewhere for a later date (likely some of said goods were consumed at the party if it happened. Edit: Shadowheart’s drunk dialogue at the goblin party mentions the goblin’s wine there being good, poor dear. Fascinating hints at her story and character in that scene though.) This is assuming Astarion is drinking wine at the goblin party, of course. He may very well be drinking something red and full-bodied there, just not made from grapes. But even in his complaints and presentation, he seems arguably more relaxed and less on guard compared to his demeanor at the goblin party. Let’s be honest, he doesn’t view goblins as equals or stimulating company judging by his various voice lines expressing his disdain, distrust and overall low opinion of them as vermin among other things. The fact that he’s willing to call the tiefling refugees idiots while in earshot of them? Definitely doesn’t respect them as a group—though he has a less negatively opined line regarding them earlier on if the caged goblin (Sazza) is killed,—which is not surprising given that MC and company at the time of the party just saved them from certain death. Astarion’s reaction however also reads as potentially at ease enough to say what he’s thinking. He’s not going to get murdered for saying so, and there aren’t any punishing power games at play with the refugees and do-gooders he’s found himself surrounded by. There aren’t any hedonistic shenanigans going on and the drinks are terrible, so it’s not an entertaining party for him, but one could make an argument that Astarion might actually be feeling more secure or at least less threatened-as-is/was-his-accepted-ongoing-norm there. Which might mean he’s feeling quite out of place, or even just not...entirely engaged with what’s going on around him and even within him as far as emotional states go. Would he casually pull the same stunt at the goblin party? If you’re a bastard to him, yes, but that’s not in the same emotional vein as his dialogue during the tiefling party at all. Loyalty from the goblins is fickle, the goblins worship the Absolute and those that are chosen by the Absolute—so long as said Chosen remain powerful enough to subjugate them and is in favor. Astarion knows this kind of power structure well: ruling by fear and power. With the tieflings? It’s not superiors-and-subordinates, it’s just...people. People celebrating surviving an event that could’ve very well and most likely would’ve ended in their deaths. Will he get to celebrate like that one day? That could very well be a painful and bleak thing to consider, and not something he wants to contemplate as of yet, based on his dialogue lines that demonstrate his fear of Cazador. How’s he supposed to get lost in the fun and revelry if the wine doesn’t even taste good to him? I don’t know wines, but I’m guessing from what little I do know and what I’ve read of flavor descriptors for wines hyped as good, it might actually be bad wine based on the adjective “sharp” when mixed with the rest of the description if the MC takes a sip. Sharp seems to suggest too many tannins, or maybe improper storage so the wine actually did turn to taste a bit more like vinegar, or maybe not enough sugar in the grapes used, perhaps? To be fair, I do believe there’s a non-conversation line somewhere of Astarion’s regarding solid food tasting terrible to him, but I can’t verify that so a pinch of salt there. Still, if his taste buds are aligned with regular living mortal ones for wine at least, RIP Astarion, he’s stuck with a terrible drink for the foreseeable night. Unless, of course, you know. ;D Compared to the tieflings, the goblins as a whole? As a group they’re a scraped together army of pillagers hungry for destruction and spoils. They don’t have ANY loyalty to you—in addition to being willing to betray you via murder immediately despite working with them when Sazza first brings you back to meet Minthara, there’s also when Minthara potentially opts to try to kill you post-goblin-party. If you persuade her not to, Minthara does mention “do not return to the goblin camp, as far as they were concerned you were destined to die tonight.” This is not a group to get chummy with, obviously. Doesn’t say good things about the Absolute’s followers in general, either, or the Absolute depending on if Minthara’s being honest about the Absolute intending that the MC dies after razing the grove. Minthara could just be lying to serve her own ends and is out to destroy any rivals for the Absolute’s favor, after all, I can’t verify that from dialogue exploration at present. So it’s not surprising that this is not a group Astarion is going to let his guard down around I’m sure, or around an MC that sided with the goblins, because fortunes can shift like the wind in a scene like that, and I think his utter lack of surprise at Minthara trying to kill you all (whether or not the MC had a romp with her) is potentially spawned because he recognizes this fact. He’s been here before, in another time, another place, with different faces, but he’s seen this play before. And the MC is just another face for the same old role of a player in this rat race for power when they side with the goblins, aren’t they? The difference this time though is: will they succeed and make it to the top? Is Astarion betting on the winning horse, or not? Far less reason and far more motivation to not be emotionally invested in anyone or anything around him because it’s survival of the fittest, and the most ruthless will be the ones who win—the MC just reinforced that perspective for Astarion, in slaughtering the tieflings. But Astarion isn’t fully corrupted yet, despite however much Cazador has twisted and tormented him so. Isn’t it fascinating, that the MC, one of the first people Astarion can actually interact with relatively freely without Cazador’s puppeteering influence hanging over him quite so acutely, is someone who might very well and very likely will have a huge impact on how Astarion develops and sees the world? For better or for worse, the MC will shape all the companions’ futures and perspectives it seems, depending on their choices. On a meta note, isn’t that thrillingly fascinating and engaging work by Larian Studios? Bravo, honestly. Continuing, for Astarion this could very well just feel like a better but complimentary and thematically continuous segment of the nightmare that is his existence under Cazador as it goes on: he’s a vampire now, and the world is only ever a power struggle between the strong and the weak, and he knows better than to ever be weak again. Kindness and virtue belonged to Before. Before he died, before he turned, before he was taken. Those are things in stories and fairy tales now, that belong to other people, other places and times, other lives—things that belong to the living, not the undead. Sentimentality, more universally-accepted morality, all of those Good™-aligned or softer feelings can feel like they have no place in his world now, on this darker path. But he knows what they are, not just in theory I think, but also perhaps knowing from memory and experience, however distant and faint. The way he speaks on many occasions has subtext that could very well suggest he wasn’t without a better side through implication and emotion. Which is not to say I think he was a shining paragon of virtue before he died—guessing based off of the dev team’s writing of him so far, I’m expecting nuanced and complex but ultimately very human (or elf if you’re being fantasy-based technical) morality with both merits and flaws, for polarizing opinions in the fandom. That being said, I’m holding off judgment on what kind of person he was before he was turned for now despite reading about pre-early-access, preliminary ideas the dev team had for his background. The reason I’m waiting to see what the dev team puts into the game for his backstory of Before, is because some of his datamined lines could be taken in a couple of different ways, and some of his emotional responses as is currently don’t track as truly Machiavellian or I’d say malevolent in nature for manipulation or otherwise. Granted, not all Evil™ acts stem from intentions to be malevolent. Sometimes people do evil both in-game and in life without really intending to, or recognizing that they do, nor seeing the harm they have caused or will cause (I’m looking at you, Mayrina.) Manipulative yes, but so far it’s looked like it’s for defensive purposes in a world that is out to hurt or kill him if given any opportunity whatsoever. Personally I actually wouldn’t even say he’s been really manipulative at all, but your mileage may vary. He lies because he’s afraid you’re going to murder him for being a vampire, and because he doesn’t want to reveal the cause of two centuries’ worth of trauma to someone he just met and likely can’t predict if they’re emotionally safe for him to interact with. Note: “emotionally safe” does not necessarily denote being sympathetic here, so much as “will their response cause me pain in some fashion?” from Astarion’s point of view, which does not necessarily require the MC to be mean to him though obviously that wouldn’t help. We touch upon why sympathy can hurt later on in this essay. And why would he expect sympathy in the other instance, regarding revealing that he’s a vampire? How often would we not murder strange vampires we just met in DND-worlds? Is that not a common response and practice in Faerun for the most part? They’re on the list of acceptable prey for a monster hunter to be kidnapped and taken to who knows what fate (probably nothing good we’re sure), and who would come rescue them? In all actuality: No one. If he wasn’t a companion he’d easily just be one more random encounter to kill—as he and all the companions are in the right circumstances, *cough cough* like when sacrificing anyone to Boooal *cough.* Astarion’s had little cracked moments where he seems to be showing genuine vulnerability, and I’d say he likely displays real genuine emotion plenty of times, just not all the time. While the vulnerable moments could be a ploy, were he the type to actually be fully acting, I’m disinclined to bet that he’d act in the way he does during those moments if he planned them out or even improvised. It could be a mix of both, where it’s both true but also an act of manipulation. Were it the last option, that would require more exploration of his character in various situations to determine imo. I still doubt that though. I think he’s a little too raw and real in his pain, anger, and aggression to say he’s being malevolently manipulative at the end of the day, at least thus far in chapter one. The MC’s choices may change and influence that, on the Evil™ route. I’ve been following some of the fantastic dash discussions on Astarion’s reaction to when the MC tries to comfort him (because of course I have, I’m here for BG3 content and Astarion content especially, aren’t we all here for the same party in his tag? Also hello fellow Astarion stans! :D I hope everyone’s having a good day), and if some of these datamined lines from Pjenn’s blog post are actually implemented and kept as canonical [link], specifically the ones Astarion says regarding heroes, I do think it ties in very strongly with some of what other folks have said regarding his recoiling reaction. Copy-pasted the potential dialogue lines of interest below: Astarion: Heroes. |said with disgust| Astarion: Heroes had two centuries to save me from my torture, but not one came knocking. Astarion: The strong had two centuries to pluck me from torture, but no one came. No, it was the mind flayers that rescued me. Astarion: I spent centuries as the victim of a corrupt man. It was the mind flayers that plucked me away from that. I very much enjoyed all the takes on Astarion’s potential motivations in his response, and I do want to chuck another idea into the fray that supports the vein of ideas that have him being truly afraid and then angry at the MC in that scene, with the speculation including those possible hero lines above as influence. Specifically, I’d like to bring in an outside comparison to part of Molly Grue’s reaction to seeing the Unicorn from The Last Unicorn animated movie for the first time, transcribed below: The Unicorn: I’m here now. Molly: [Bitter laugh] Oh? And where were you twenty years ago? Ten years ago? Where were you when I was new? When I was one of those innocent, young maidens you always come to? How dare you. How DARE you come to me now, when I am this. [begins to cry, heartbroken] Consider Astarion being shown kindness when he is now away from Cazador, not fully free or safe yet but not currently actively fully suffering Cazador’s torment all up close and personal. Consider that only on that very night before he was snatched up by the mindflayers, which might’ve been anywhere from only a day to a handful of days before this conversation about his nightmare, he was going out to falsely smile and lure some innocent—(“No innocents. You have my word.”)—or perhaps not so innocent, beautiful soul back to Cazador’s mansion to very likely die or be turned. How often must he do so? Is it every night he is ordered to go out and condemn someone else to that unfortunate fate? Do you think Cazador killed them cleanly? Quickly? Why would he, instead of agonizingly grinding out any last traces of sympathy his spawn might have through the guilt that they are the ones who “choose” who suffers and likely dies at Cazador’s hands that night? To give the illusion of choice is one abuse/torture tactic that can be used to break a soul that we see often in games: choose who suffers or dies. Cazador is unquestionably a personality who enjoys the psychological aspect of tormenting his victims, as evidenced by giving Astarion the “choice” to be either flayed or to “dine” on a rotting, dead rat, as well as other mentions of how he puts thought into torturing those around him. Astarion is still so fresh from his torment,—torment that is still technically on-going with the very real threats of resuming once more—he is emotionally bleeding enough arterial blood at the seams to fill a sea. His actions, words, and emotions so often metaphorically smell of blood, and not because he’s a vampire and the traditional role of a vampire being a predator among humanoids ironically enough, but because being a vampire spawn means Cazador. And Cazador means horror. Astarion has survived, yes, and it’s been hell. He’s still in hell, because he isn’t free yet. Not truly. It’s a desperate gasp of air, this taste of freedom, to dream that he could be free of Cazador. Imagine his feelings when he’s now in something like freedom, a reminder of what could be, what his life might’ve and likely was like once upon a time, an uncertain here-and-now where he has the possibility—just a possibility, and an unlikely one at that for most ordinary or less-than-ordinary people, not a certainty—of being free, and he’s just admitted to the horror that is Cazador. Admitted in this moment how much Cazador frightens him, how much just the thought of Cazador frightens him, how much the possibility he might be sent back to his master and having his previous tormented existence resumed truly frightens him. And the MC reaches out in sympathy. In acknowledgement that what Astarion has been through is horrifying. To look at this horror and say it is pain, and terror, and awful, that it isn’t normal. It isn’t something to ignore. It isn’t something to pretend is just everyday same old, same old, to numb and take off the edge as much as one can. That Astarion’s pain and fear aren’t to be sought out for entertainment or at best to be willfully neglected in an act of malice. That stark moment of contrast, like night and day, could bring the pain of two hundred years crashing down inside his head, all compressed into one moment. Feelings he tried so hard to survive through, ignore perhaps, suppress: fear, helplessness, loneliness, misery, anger, sorrow, hatred, pain, anxiety, distress, need. Memories, of so many instances that hurt in that moment and then continued to hurt for so long afterwards. How much must it hurt him, wound him, to lift his head for air and have a perspective outside of his suffering that is sympathetic...but knowing that nobody came to save him.  That perhaps, no one ever will, if he loses this so-called freedom and is dragged back under. That those that care, cannot help you. And that those that can help, do not care.  Why would anyone help him at this point after all? He’s a vampire spawn. A classically defined monster in the eyes of society, and he knows it. (”I’m not some monster!” / ”At best, I was sure you’d say no. More likely you’d ram a stake through my ribs.”) He must have been truly desperate in his starvation to chance anyone finding out he’s a vampire in the party. Not surprising, he can’t rest at the end of the day like the other companions can. He has to expend extra energy at that point to find food discreetly after fighting all day, and subpar food at that. (”Animal blood tastes like muck.” verification needed, it’s a conversational line in some branch of the morning-after he asks to bite the MC the first time) He’s not eating breakfast, snacks or lunch during the day, and he isn’t guaranteed to find food while hunting in the woods. Game might be scarce, he can be wounded or exhausted after a long day of fighting, and he wasn’t starting out in the peak of health to begin with either. He is a vampire spawn yes and apparently can take down large game such as boars to drain them, but that is a rough existence to condemn anyone to mechanically speaking. He knows what he’s risking, regardless of his int stat. But he takes that risk anyway. The character who is so survival driven, risking a very high likelihood of expulsion at best or death as the much-more-likely worst outcome of this attempt? His bite isn’t painless, and pain can wake a person up readily enough if they aren’t a deep sleeper, and how deep a sleeper are most people when in an uncertain and unfamiliar wilderness, potentially while hungry and cold, with the fretting fear of a agonizing death looming over their head? Even accounting for a lack of mental clarity from hunger and exhaustion and other factors, I find it deeply unlikely that Astarion is unaware of how big a risk he’s taking with the odds are stacked against him, rogue class or not. And even if he’s just thrown out of the group? He’s alone. Vulnerable. A target to be hunted by a much bigger, meaner predator. One that won’t kill him quickly, we can guess. His odds are much lower, on his own. Specifically his odds of not being dragged back to Cazador...assuming the MC doesn’t just turn him over to Gandrel. How terrifying is it to imagine that your suffering will never end, to be told it will never end, and then you are reminded of what it is like to not suffer for a time. To have felt the painful hope that maybe there is a possibility that you could escape an existence of torment...but knowing you very well might not? It is desperately bleak. It is no great leap of the imagination to hear Astarion saying—(or more likely thinking because this would be terribly vulnerable...but he might say something when pushed because he’s so full of sharp edges and bleeding insides still)—something similar to Molly Grue’s line in his own fashion, is it? Astarion: “[Bitterly laughing, mockingly so. As he speaks his tone breaks, an edge of raw, desperate hysteria slipping through, attached to centuries of pain turned to anger] And where were you two hundred years ago? A hundred years ago? Where were you when I still desperately thought in the deepest parts of my heart that someone might come? When I still had hope?  Astarion: [his voice turns low and venomous, raising in volume and accusation before finishing with a break on the final word “this”, a tonal admittance of how distraught and self-aware he is of what he’s had to do, of what he’s had to become to survive] How dare you. How DARE you say this to me now, when I am this.”  (the above lines are entirely fictional and are not from any in-game, data-mined, or otherwise official source or content) He’s been made to do so many terrible things, even just based off of the few lines we have heard in early access he’s been through so much horror. An hour of torture, a day, a month is so incredibly long. It can have such lasting impact on a person—PTSD, as we know it in this day and age. A year? Five years, ten, twenty, fifty, a hundred? An elf he may be, but from a human perspective...he’s been tortured for lifetimes. Even as an elf, two hundred years is a long time. More than long enough to seriously alter how someone’s brain works—people are both amazingly resilient, but also so incredibly fragile. Cazador has had all this time to play with Astarion’s brain, honestly I find it impressive Astarion has any sense of self left after all this time. That he’s still driven to survive, that he still feels anything at all. (”It doesn’t look broken. But then again, none of us do.”)  It doesn’t surprise me that he’s intensely bitter when encountering the “paladins” of Tyr—(ie Anders and company if you know who I mean—and was that a Dragon Age 2 reference? If not that is an amazing coincidence with the whole Anders-Justice-Vengeance-Demon thing there)—if the MC asks something to the tune of “Don’t you wish someone had helped you when you needed it?” Oh. Oh that had to be a painful question for him. Astarion had his basic needs denied and abused, to ask if he wished that someone had helped him when he needed that and more, and no one came? Why was he denied but the paladins get help? Why does he have to be the hero when no one came for him, when no one very well might come for him when he might still very well be in dire straits in the near future?  I can see the possible desire to inspire sympathy intended in the question from the MC, but it can be so utterly without sympathy to ask that in some contexts, and in Astarion’s case it is. He was being abused and controlled without any way out—Anders and his cohorts opted into the deal with Zariel for personal reasons, not as far as I know under threat of imminent death, and they are relatively capable of fulfilling their end of the bargain barring their current injuries at the time. They certainly have more freedom of choice than Astarion and other vampire spawn ever did, and they were not being tortured right then and there. Warlocks, referring to Anders and co., might even have the option to get out of deals, a la Wyll’s personal questline hook thus far. Astarion can’t get out of his servitude from Cazador. Cazador holds all the cards, makes all the decisions, has all of the power. To compare Astarion’s situation to his face with that of the “paladins”? I’m surprised he wasn’t spitting fury, honestly. They still have normal elements to their day to day life, despite their devil’s deal. They are not being tormented on the daily—yet. They are not in hell—yet. They can get out. They have the possibility. A possibility Astarion didn’t—until now. And isn’t that the most fucked up thing, that it wasn’t a force of Good™ that saved him, but an even bigger monster than Cazador himself? He was saved—by mindflayers, intending some fate that was likely worse for him than before. Even when the Absolute’s hand begins to be revealed in all this, he is still a pawn among monstrous masters. What heroes there are in the world, won’t come for him. They never did before, and they didn’t now. Heroes are for other people, for realities aside from his own. They are for other people, living Other lives. Not his life. Forces of Good™ swooping in to save the day, to correct the wrongs of the world and to make things Right™ just isn’t his normal. Not anymore, if ever it was. His normal was warped by Cazador a long time ago. Is it a stretch of the imagination that if Cazador twisted “dinner” to be a choice between consuming a rotting, putrid rat corpse or being flayed on a nightly basis, turning “poetry” into the memory of a “sonnet” carved into Astarion’s back with a razor over the course of an entire night full of Astarion’s own pained screams? Is it hard to imagine that Cazador also took pleasure in turning other ordinary situations one might encounter in normal life into nightmare versions as well for Astarion and his other spawn? One illithid mind-power option shows Cazador controlling Astarion by holding his chin, though without any further context. Cazador wouldn’t have had to do more than that to invoke terror, after a certain point in time. It seems highly unlikely the gesture wasn’t followed up with more pain, though. Perhaps in that moment when he speaks of his nightmare in the first conversation and the MC reaches out to him in sympathy...Astarion was reminded of something. Multiple somethings, multiple moments, when Cazador reached out to him oh so casually, and it ended in pain and terror. The way the camera is framed as of the current time in early access, the way he flinches away crying “No!” so quiet and low, his eyes wide and staring just so, how he goes so far as to pull back almost entirely out of frame and the camera slowly pans to follow him? Perhaps that is just a stand-in scene, but as it is, even now, it emphasizes that he is I would argue genuinely afraid, and reflexively responding in what is likely his first opportunity to freely respond to his traumatically induced fear. The first opportunity where he wasn’t supernaturally compelled to do exactly as Cazador ordered him to, the first opportunity where he was likely not going to be tormented further for expressing his fear, for having his main tormentor laugh and delight in his distress. The first instance where he for a split second let his guard down, and didn’t expect to be hurt—until the MC reached for him, echoing possible memories of what happened last time someone (Cazador) did that. It’s not Cazador reaching for him. But...it is not Cazador. He doesn’t have to worry about Cazador hurting him right that second, but...will the MC hurt him, like Cazador did? Will they make it look like they’re going to help him, that he can trust them, and then betray him? (”How can you be so cruel?” / “It [Raphael playing games] reminds me of Cazador, taunting his slaves with hope when he knew the game was rigged.”) But they scared him. They scared him, and perhaps for a moment he was back there, in another time and place, where he knows, where he remembers, vividly, perhaps even recently, what normally would have happened to him. And how dare they make him feel that. (“I can do without reliving that particular night, thank you.” [Nightmare about Cazador dialogue, a separate scene if you miss the insight check from the first post-nightmare camp discussion I believe.]) He’s so raw and upset, both aggressive and defensive when he speaks about his nightmares in quite a few of his lines, asking and waiting to explain just why his nightmares are truly so terrifying, especially in the second-nightmare conversation. The way he speaks there, and in other scenes, makes me very disinclined to interpret him as actively intending evil in general so much as having been shaped to be ruthless through a centuries-long trial by fire that he isn’t free and clear of yet. Based off of how he reacts on more than one occasion, I’m personally inclined to take a leaf from Wyll’s book and say I do think he has more than just potential to be good. “Good™” being relative of course to his situation and undead-life—Astarion has GREAT potential as a character to explore not only what it means to be Evil™ aligned, but also what people on the meta perceive as evil, as well as what prejudices we may carry from that labeling.  He is I think very much an excellent walking morality test and ironically a mirror for the player’s character. What kind of person is the MC, in how they treat and interact with him. He is a complicated and morally-entangled character, and it is so very easy to only read him in the here and now within the stark, daylight context of societal’s average norms without looking at the very real, very recent nightmarish Twilight Zone reality he’s lived in that echoes through his words and story thus far. It’s a marvelous bit of echoing reality and real life here by Larian, truth be told: how do you tell people about your life, when it’s been a ceaseless, unending nightmare? With smiles, witticisms, and the occasional polished lie that bleeds out pain, for some folks anyway, including Astarion. He says he’s having more fun at the goblin party, but at the tiefling party? That’s probably the first time he’s been at a normal party where he hasn’t had to obey and fear Cazador’s orders and inevitable torment during or afterwards. That’s the first time in his entire undead existence when he’s been in a social situation like this without being afraid, hurt, or manipulated. It’s not a fun party on its own by his standards, but it is a safe party for him. In a way though, safety can be boring. A luxury, yes, but in this case? For him, boring. And boring...might very well be irritating, in an anxiety-turned-irritation fashion, because he’s not being tormented right this very moment. He should be finding something to enjoy, because in his normal everyday routine? In the day to day that he would expect, that his subconscious expects out of habit? Opportunity for any form of enjoyment must be rare indeed, twisted and tainted by Cazador’s ever looming shadow over every minute of Astarion’s vampiric existence so far. It could be anxiety-inducing, to not seek pleasure or some form of happiness or comfort while there is opportunity for it, in what one perceives as a respite from constant, on-going suffering. (”Why do you insist on exhuming the past?” - when you ask about his past in camp, after you know he’s a vampire. An unpleasant reminder of an unpleasant past, why would he want to dwell on it? He has enough pain to last him multiple lifetimes. Literally.) From the deep, deep depths of prolonged suffering, it can potentially take a great deal more intensity of sensation to feel anything at all, let alone something approaching happiness. (”For the first time in two hundred years, I felt happy.” [presumed Astarion-origin line after drinking from a sleeping companion] / “I feel strong. I feel...happy!” [after MC succeeds in persuading Astarion to stop drinking from their neck after giving him permission to do so.]) This isn’t even taking into consideration how vampirism might have impacted Astarion’s psychology on a metabolic/biochemical level, so to speak. Where Larian goes with that is still to be determined, though my money’s on they give him more a murderous edge and natural inclination—not unlike a Beast-lite version of bloodlust from Vampire: The Masquerade— but still keep his core traits very much human rather than supernaturally-alien/2D-cut-out-monstrous. (Or elvhen, if we’re being fantasy-world-linguistically technical here again.) Touching on the matter of monstrous behavior though...It is a powerfully understated moment of casual cruelty that Larian allows the MC to decide once and once only, if Astarion may also drink from people or only animals. It’s so fitting I don’t believe it to be coincidence that he was a magistrate in his backstory—isn’t the MC passing a judgement too on him, a sentence to change his life for the foreseeable future, possibly forever without realizing or perhaps not caring about the full extent of their actions? And one cannot forget Wyll’s comment about the rat diet. Oh, can you not hear the resonating parallel real life pain from how those ignorant of another’s hurts might unintentionally mock the person and hurt them so? How some might apply their own morality from their own life experiences, without looking at the full extent of the consequences of their actions? A life and perspective that more likely has never been tested under the lash and upon the rack of some of life’s worst possible realities? Even if Wyll and the MC don’t mean to be, it is so very, very cruel. It is beautifully painful, Abdirak and the goddess Loviatar would be proud. (”My mind is finally clear. I feel strong. I feel...happy!”) To be denied not just better food, but the ability to think clearly, to feel well, the actuality of being happy as a norm? It is so very hollow an existence to feel so constantly weak of both body and mind, and oh isn’t it just the richest thing, that an MC might echo Cazador’s choice and power over Astarion thusly? It’s enough to make one laugh an Evil Laugh™ of appreciation at just how unthinkingly, horribly cruel a person can potentially be while playing a Good™ character. This is actually a level of genius on Larian’s part that I wonder how many in the audience will actually look at and appreciate the subtle horror of. The horror that we do this too, in real life, sometimes without ever knowing the seemingly small, far-reaching ripples of harm an unthinking phrase or comment can do when we don’t take another’s reality into consideration—that we don’t know what it is we don’t know. It is a fine piece of storytelling, to offer up a story with so many facets to reflect upon. It’s so beautifully crafted that Astarion speaks and dresses like a noble, that he can so easily be perceived as a person of privilege at first glance should one merely look at some of his surface behaviors and inclinations—remnant trappings of his distant past most likely, from once upon a time. It’s a delightful reveal and subversion that he, I think we can safely say, isn’t that. Perhaps he was, once, but he isn’t at this point in his life, not anymore. Appearances are deceiving, and doesn’t that just tie so nicely right into some of Astarion’s potential themes and behaviors? The lies that crack open as truth and pain come bleeding out from underneath? I do wonder how many of Larian’s audience have known hunger—and not known when the next meal will happen, what it might be, if it will have strings attached? The kind of hunger that follows you everywhere, that roots down into your bones and hollows out a home there forever more? It changes how a person sees things, how they act, how they think, even when they’re removed from being hungry all the time. One doesn’t need to be skin and bones to feel like one is starving constantly,—(I very much enjoy that headcanon just to clarify, I’m not intending to throw shade in any of this or future rambling)—to be kept on a hollow diet of empty calories that are enough to keep your heart pumping, but your body struggles because it doesn’t have the nutrients it needs in the amounts it needs? To feel your mind fog over with exhaustion and blanketed despair, a primal and low level desperation whittled down into a tired and numb, anxious background static from adrenal fatigue? Miscellaneous aches, pains and problems that seem unrelated but in reality, if only you knew, were because your body can’t function the way it should ideally, because you don’t have what you truly need? A very real problem in real life, for far too many people. And oh, the beautiful, casual, so very human monstrousness Larian lets us exercise here, knowing or unknowing. It is such a powerful, understated cluster of ideas. And I think Larian knew—someone on the dev team did their homework on both traditional starvation but also what one might call masked-starvation as no doubt other tumblr folks have also speculated, just based off of what we’ve seen and because of that Happy buff Astarion gets when he uses his Vampiric Bite ability in combat. It fits right into his whole theme of “what makes a monster and what makes a man?” (Sing the bells of Notre Dame~♪) But not necessarily asking that question only of him. Rather, asking it also of the MC. This fits into the game’s whole theme with the tadpoles, the choice of using the power and turning into “Something More Beautiful” as Minthara put it, of taking the darker path, it all fits so very well. I just want to applaud this because it’s not a major story-beat moment. It’s a companion-side-quest moment. It’s going to be for the most part seen as a combat-game-mechanic and head-canon defining moment, deciding if Astarion may feed on people or not. I doubt we’d see Larian actually changing Astarion’s demeanor much in how he delivers lines with a “allowed to drink people blood” code flag, as cool as that might be. It very well could factor into later outcomes but for voice acting I doubt they’ll make an entire second/third/etc set of each line spawning from that one seemingly small choice. It makes me very hopeful that Larian can handle such weighty themes so deftly thus far—we’ll have to wait and see if they can stick the landing once the game is finished, but boy oh boy their nuance and delivery so far is strong as steel and sharp as a double-edged sword right out of the gate. The studio is in a fantastic position to explore and to challenge people’s thoughts and ideas regarding character builds like Astarion’s imo, depending on how the dev team chooses to play it out. Seeing some of Gale and Shadowheart’s dialogue trees from the goblin party, I have high hopes that the dev team will allow a great deal of exploration and flexibility all across the moral spectrums, not only allowing us the option to drag the more seen-as-good-aligned characters down paths of moral corruption,—(note: I’m including Shadowheart in more neutral-ish territory for now but the fact that she seems to feel emotionally ill—guilty, one could say—at the goblin party and is busy trying to get drunk to drown that feeling out suggests to me she Definitely does have a more good-aligned moral compass to a nuanced degree)—but also the chance to drag more seen-as-evil-aligned characters along the path to more traditionally good endings and persuade them to see the benefits of playing nice with others per more classic Good™ societal rules (subjectively speaking ofc.) But Larian is also in a very precarious place too—speaking strictly of just the one character as the focus of this essay, Astarion resonates very easily through that very real fear, pain, anger, bitterness and so many other emotions as a result of what he has survived, is still surviving through, and struggling against: trauma. How bitter indeed would it be should a character—that people with very deep, real pain can relate to—not get at least the option for a well-crafted, hopeful and merciful epilogue? Oh the sympathetic pain that Larian could reap could be pain of the very worst kind, if they condemn him to only death and darkness with bleak endings that lack nuance and care. I’ve seen some posts where people worry about Astarion not potentially having a good ending, with possible unspoken implications that he might be railroaded into betraying the MC. I’d like to say that I think a lot of his subtext, even looking at the instances where he lies and the datamined details of the voice-acting-directions, would run counter to railroading him to only ever betraying the MC. I think straight betrayal is going to run as mostly antithetical to his core themes in a way. He might betray your MC—but it will likely be because the MC betrayed him first in a myriad of small ways, or in a big way. Approval-rating-system based choices are a very real possibility too, separately or as a part of the equation naturally, in addition to your major in-game choices. That would also include the scenario of betrayal through using the tadpole powers enough to be mind-controlled into having no will of his own, much like the other characters, including the MC. I do think we have plenty of good, solid reason to be very hopeful that he will have a possible good continuation—not ending. A continuation where he manages to free himself from Cazador with the help of his companions or perhaps dare he even say friends, manages to begin the process of healing the immediate pains of his trauma and learning how to truly live with all that he’s been through and all that he’s done, to have the possibility of not only living but living both happily and well for the most part? Who knows what else Larian Studios might have in the works for him and the other companions, as well as the MC and the story of Baldur’s Gate 3. But good outcomes for all seems like it very likely could happen, for all of the companions. His wiki page’s summary tagline hook in particular offers up that implied promise from the developers to the audience, I would say, “Astarion prowled the night as a vampire spawn for centuries, serving a sadistic master until he was snatched away. Now he can walk in the light, but can he leave his wicked past behind?” What that promise is, varies from creator to creator. In this case, based on the wording, I would say that potentially implies a satisfyingly well-crafted and engaging story wherein we find out and determine if the answer to that question is yes or no, and in a DND-based RPG full of choices that have an impact on the people and world around you? In a game genre that has a history of multiple, varied endings for your companions based on how you play? That checks out. Larian so far has been handling things admirably well in my opinion, and I’m willing to invest emotionally in this story they’re telling with the trust that they will deliver a good continuation and conclusion. But on the off-chance that somehow Astarion’s endings all turn out painful and tragic on the meta for the fanbase, that the associated intentional or unintentional messages wound and grieve those who recognize and resonate most strongly with the pains he has felt? On that off-chance, in that instance where we are left bereft and disappointed because of what happened to him or any of the companions or the story itself should somehow things go awry, then it would be your right to ask Larian the very same question Astarion asked you once: How can you be so cruel?

[lairofsentinel]

What can we say about the relationship between the tadpole and the person who appears in dreams?

[Baldur’s Gate 3, Early Access, Spoilers]

At a first glance, in a careless attempt, we immediately connect the tadpole with the image of the person in our main char’s dreams. One is inclined to think it is the tadpole itself asking for the host to let them in. However, after carefully watching the scene, and checking all its options... I started to doubt it.

During Early Access we only can see four dreams [video compilation of the dreams]:

The first one, in which only the voice is heard for a couple of seconds, shows a weird... tentacle-like creature? It’s not made of the gray skin of a Mind Flayer, it’s red, and unless it’s a terrible bug... it may say that we are in the presence of something different than the usual Mind-Flayer. In fact, I think it looks like a tiefling or a Cambion tail/wings (they have thorns). Could it be Raphael’s since he is red? How do we explain those boots in the top of the screenshot?. Maybe it’s a mere bug.

The second one, in which the main char awakes in that intense green garden, has a peaceful sense to it.

The third one is when that desired person in the dreams shows you an enemy you stab in self defence, and then you observe an entire city under siege.

The forth one is when you have the ability to kill that person in the dreams.

After having the second dream, we can talk about this with our companions. All of them, except by Astarion, explain that their dreams were about desire and power. About a promise. 

It's clear for us that Gale dreamt about Mystra and Wyll about Mizora. Both women are the embodiment of power and desire. We don't have a clue who Shadowheart dreamt about, but we know is a he that represents the same values. Astarion is the one who disrupts the pattern. 

He dreamt about Cazador, which is for sure the representation of power, but of his desire? At first I thought it was a twisted taste forced onto him over two hundred years of slavery. As a slave, maybe he had to learn how to enjoy the worst things just to endure it, so the incredibly wicked and twisted insinuation of Astarion being attracted to his tormentor... was surprising at first. Especially when you explore his dialogue and he shows a strong bad reaction to such insinuation. 

Thinking about it a bit more, I realised that maybe Astarion “desiring” Cazador is another thing he is forced to do against his own will. Or maybe it's the typical consequence of the vampire relationship with the sire: the childe is always attracted to their sire, no matter how much they hate them. Astarion is not even free of having his own desire due to Cazador's power, so... his dream about Cazador was another display of the control that such figure has over him. Therefore, we can say that, in the end, he is also following the pattern, but his desire is commanded by being a vampire spawn. 

When it comes to the main char, we also know that such figure in their dreams is someone they are attracted to [that's exactly what we were asked to do in the character creation part].

The tadpole in the main character's head reacts negatively to this desired person, and it’s strange. It can mean that the projection of that figure and the tadpole are not the same (Gale, are you wrong?). The figure acknowledges the presence of the tadpole and the transformation in process, and they seem to be in power of stopping it if only you let them “in”. But the presence of the tadpole is always there while interacting with this figure, uncomfortable and wanting to get away from that desired person. The tadpole feels threatened by this figure. 

At times, this beautiful figure feels like an entity proper of a demon, asking you to let it in and possess you. We know by Shadowheart’s comment that this voice appeared in her head when she was in the ship, so that we can assume it started to affect the hosts by the same time the tadpole process started.

The hag provided us the most valuable information I found out in the game. She confirmed that the tadpole has been altered, as everyone had suspected. But not only that... they had netherese magic, shadow magic (*) in it. This, however, feels wrong in terms of lore: mind flayers detest arcane magic, they believe its a corrupt version of the psionic power they have. Mixing it with their traditional birth procedure looks odd. Odd if this new experiment is only their idea. Maybe the big mind behind these new tadpoles is not a Mind flayer.

With this bit of information given by the hag, I was inclined to think that this magical compound may explain the presence of the person in the main char's dreams. What surprises me is that the tadpole wants the figure away, so how is it possible that both, the figure and the tadpole, work one against the other? If we assume that the tadpoles were altered to perform a transformation of some sort, shadow magic embodied by that figure and the tadpole should work together. However, the tadpole triggers hunger and animal instincts to rip that figure out. It feels endangered. Maybe it’s because the whole procedure is an experiment yet.

The desired figure keeps claiming they want you to help, but in the process, they also tell you that you can be more powerful and conquer Baldur's Gate [yes, despite the blurriness, it is enough to distinguish the characteristic entrance of the city].

[image from the trailer]

The last dream is one of the most disturbing ones. You awake with symptoms of your skull starting to change its bones, and apparently, the presence of the figure is the only thing which is preventing the transformation. The figure is irritated. You can ask them for help you because the parasite is going too far. The figure says that they need to go deeper into you to calm down the “animal” inside. And once more the tadpole activates a defence mechanism. 

You can indulge yourself in the desire of destroying the figure apart, and you ride the figure strangling them and killing them. The figure calls you “monster” and tells you that you deserve what's coming for you [which I assume, it's the standard Mind Flayer transformation]. The experiment may have failed in this way since you destroy the stasis.

If you resist the impulse of killing them and at the same time resist the intrusion of the figure, the figure is disgusted with you. The figure only is understandable with you when you tell them the truth about your impulse of killing them. They will state that they knew about it, and they trust you to control it while they go deeper into you. 

It’s disconcerting if the sudden hunger for death comes from the tadpole (I put my coins here) or from the figure going deeper into you. I assume it’s the tadpole because the figure will call you monster and wont be happy if you indulge yourself in that hunger. 

By the end, the figure calls you ungrateful if you resisted them once more and tells you that the next time you meet them, you will ask forgiveness. Early access allows that last dream and no more.

Hypothesis

Now, all these strange urges for murdering the figure makes me wonder if the magical compound that now these tadpole have is related to some evil divine entity, playing a role similar to Bhaal in Baldur’s Gate 1 and 2. In those previous games, you and a bunch of people were direct spawn of the God of Murder, and in a couple of occasions, you had strong urges to kill losing control of your character [and killing NPCs you were fond of]. What if... this new tadpole is an experiment combining the Mind-Flayer procedure of birth (needed in order to have a completely different body for new demi-god powers) with a divine-infused-magical compound from the shadows. What for?. I don’t know... maybe to create an army of demi-gods? [following the usual flavour of Baldur’s Gate series]. 

This procedure, if it’s as such, could allow to have god-spawn creatures without the God sleeping with mortals and waiting mortal-gestation times. xD If we follow this train of thoughts, and we believe a God is behind all this, it must be some tyrant God, like Bhaal or Bane, since the dreams are all about power and control, showing Baldur’s Gate under siege. Maybe the procedure is not perfect, since there are two different effects working one against the other: The shadow magic that infuses a degree of divinity is about desire and power, but the tadpole’s only interest is to go on with the standard Mind-Flayer procedure. 

I thought about this divinity-compound because we saw that there are third parties interested in this new particular tadpole: Raphael. What Gale says to you after his visit is a fact: if a cambion become interested in these tadpoles, it’s because there is more than souls at stakes. But all of these are specualtions. The only certanties are:

Tadpoles are not only Mind-Flayer-made.

They have been altered with Shadow Magic (weird for Mind Flayers).

The Tadpole and the figure which offers you power are different entities.

The more you use powers of command, the more these dreams come and the more it triggers the Mind-Flayer transformation.

The figure in your dreams is the only one preventing the Mind-Flayer transformation.

Conventional tadpoles only cause Mind-Flayer transformation in a week.

Extra information I found later [here]

More content of bg3 in general [here]

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(*) Shadow magic is a Weave-base magic in the Forgotten Realms. It comes from the Shadow Planes connecting to them via the Weave. It's not related to Shadow Weave (an alternate Wave crafted by Shar), something I talked about when explaining some bits of Mystra [here]. You use the standard Mystra-Weave to use shadow magic, but it's not rare that users of shadow magic find some affinity with Shadow Weave. Apparently it's a type of magic strongly related to a human [Tethyrian] ethnic. Churchs of Lolth, Mask, Set, Shar, and Shargaas  show interest in this type of magic.