#YES IT'S A METAPHOR but they're also tasty

[epersonae]

The cooking project - Crêpes

If yesterday's post was probably one of my most-made recipe cards, this might be my most-made recipe in my binder, which is sort of a Binder of Theseus. My sister made me a binder full of typed-out recipes as a gift when I was a sophomore in college, and I still have the section separators, which were collages of images cut from magazines, and I have some (most? all?) of those typed recipes, though the binder itself has been replaced. And of course I've added many more recipes, printed from the internet or sent to me by email or clipped from magazines. (I had a subscription to Sunset for a while in the late 00s!)

This recipe, though, was copied from a webpage into probably a Word document and then printed out, and dates from March 15 2003. The URL in the image no longer works, but the contents can be found in the Wayback Machine (ctrl+f, "crepes"). It was posted as part of the author's "French Week" as sort of an oblique protest of the impending Iraq War. In any case, I have been making it since then.

Because this can be found in the Wayback Machine, and because the instructions are hilariously long, I am not going to retype the whole thing here.

My only personal notations are combining "whole wheat flour" and "white flour" into a single line (I've literally never made these as savory crepes in 20 years), and a note that 1 egg approximately equals 3 crepes.

Making the batter

One of the things I love about this recipe is that it scales really well: one egg to 1/4 cup flour. The sugar ratio is weird and I usually have to do a rough approximation, because 1/4 cup sugar is 4 tablespoons, but also it's a very forgiving recipe that way.

I have learned over the years to beat the eggs first and THEN add the flour/sugar/salt, much less lumps that way. (ironically, 20 years and I just noticed he never says when to add the salt, altho clearly it's with the flour)

I have literally no idea how much milk I use. I mix in a bit at a time until it looks like the right texture/color. It's all vibes, baby.

I don't think I've ever let it sit two whole hours but it definitely does change texture a bit, for the better, if left to sit at least a half an hour. (I have also never drunk a glass of red wine while waiting for the batter.)

Below is: just after mixing in the flour/sugar/salt, then after some milk, all the milk, and after sitting for idk half an hour? 45 minutes?

Jam! Eating while making!

As I said, I've literally never made them savory, altho the last time I had them with a little bit of local whipped goat cheese and strawberry jam, and that was FUCKING TIGHT.

My usual is to take out whatever jams I have (today: strawberry and raspberry freezer jam that I made in 2020 and 2021 respectively, quince jam that a friend made, and marmalade) and just alternate flavors as I make them. I usually end up eating some while I'm making them. (As the guy says, bachelor mode™️.)

Two eggs' worth did in fact make about six crepes, I think, which is kind of a lot for dessert but I guess I had dessert for dinner, it's fine.

(Oh, and I think I've tried flipping them without a spatula exactly once, I am just not that bold.)

In any case, this continues to be one of my favorite recipes of all time, I will make it for anyone at any time for any reason. (The longest stretch I ever went without making it was after Ryn died, and I finally had eggs and milk and enough energy...and found BUGS IN MY FLOUR and about lost my damn mind. But I have made them a couple of times since then.)

Fanfiction bonus content!

So if you are reading my fic for the benefit of all the broken hearts, and you have already read chapter 16, then you know why I posted this today. If you are reading it and have not yet read the new chapter, consider this a teaser.

If you are not reading it: for the benefit of all the broken hearts is a fix-it fic for Water Flowing Underground, a very strange beautiful fic that blurs the line between Actor AU and RPF, that plays with questions of identity and choice and intention and also what we are even doing with fanfiction. My fic picks up from the end of that fic, from the point of view of a character who is dismissed by the narrative of the original, and who finds a way out of the wreckage. (it's the weirdest goddamn thing I've ever written, and yes, I think that includes the Bigfoot fic, and also I think my best writing ever. Certainly the most work I've ever put into any writing in any medium.)

And also there are crepes.

[giurochedadomani]

There was a lot of tasty talk about Mihawk, Benn and Shanks in the tag, and I wanted to make something about touch starved Mihawk, so something, something, extremely extrovert Shanks drags his extremely introvert bestie? Important person? Crush? Friend with benefits? To a party without realizing that the social battery of said introvert is shot to hell and that he's agreed to go only and exclusively to have a drink with him, but that he's not in the Mood for much else. 

And also because it's cute, I think, thinking about a potential friendship between Benn and Mihawk. Mihawk taking a long, hard look at Benn and deciding that yes, he might extend some level of respect to him, some trust, given how highly Shanks speaks of him, while Benn realizes that Shanks appreciates him so much that now he's in the good books of one of the most dangerous individuals on the planet. And that now he maybe has not one, but two little brothers who are going to ask for guidance. 

Anyway, fluff and gen things, Benn third wheeling very hard:

“Are you going to gut me?”. 

Mihawk makes a non committal sound. He's frozen as a stack of ice in Benn's arms, his hands rubbing lightly on the swordsman’s back feeling like they're trying to appease the mast of the Red force. 

“Shanks would be pissed if something happened to me”, Benn tries again. He's not sure if Mihawk deliberately ignores the teasing edge of his words or if it just flies over his head, but the joke hangs over their heads, rancid like the smell of the room. 

Maybe it's better if he just lets Mihawk go, and dissappear into the night in his usual dramatic fashion. Shanks has to learn too that sometimes things don't go his way. 

He's about to take a step back, metaphorically throwing the awkwardness under the dusty rug they're standing on, when he feels a slight pressure on his back. It takes a second or two to understand that Mihawk is hugging him back. 

Biting his tongue, he shoves into a corner of his mind how much he's going to poke fun at Shanks about it later. 

“...This okay?”, he asks, accomodating his posture to Mihawk's. Pressure seems to work best, the swordsman taking a big, big breath when Benn digs a bit his hands on his back, rubbing them up and down. 

He tries to think back about the night, but as much as he revises the details, he doesn't notice anything out of order— his best bet is that Mihawk was out of sorts way before Shanks spotted him on Hitsugibune, the swordsman’s mood only worsening through the evening when the local bar happened to have some sort of musical competition. 

“I'm tired”, says Mihawk, snapping Benn out of his reverie. He wonders how Shanks differentiates between tones when it comes to the swordsman, his voice sounding as mildly annoyed as ever. Curious golden eyes fixate on him, way too alert for the kind of puddle Benn's hug seems to have reduced Mihawk to. “I'm not pissed. You can tell Akagami”. 

So formal. Benn can't help the snort. 

He guides Mihawk to a nearby vault, choosing not to tell him that Shanks likely has not even noticed that the swordsman is gone. 

[polaroidcats]

Breadcrumbs and broken families – a very scientific analysis of “Savour It (I’m Tasty)” by epicblueblanket

One of the most complex literary works of the 21st century is without a doubt “Savour It (I’m Tasty)” by epicblueblanket, also known by the pseudonym @kaaaaaaarf on the popular blogging website tumbler dot com. In less than 1000 words, the author manages to write a story that is not only captivating to any reader, it is also packed full of inspiring and deeply philosophical metaphors.

In this essay I will explore how the sausage rolls and breadcrumbs serve as a metapor for Sirius’s broken family, which might be one of the reasons why Remus feels so familiar to him even if they barely know each other - they're surrounded by broken pieces of something that should have been wonderful but has now been destroyed beyond recognition.

One of the most emotional moments of the story is at the beginning, when Sirius asks Remus if he eats sausage rolls when he is not at work, to which Remus replies with: "Well, I take home the leftovers at the end of my shift. It’s wasteful to throw it away, you know?", causing the following reaction from Sirius: “Sirius shakes himself. ‘Right, yes, of course—makes sense.’", obviously affected by the parallels between his own life – being thrown out and disregarded by his family as a teenager for reasons beyond his control – and the sausage rolls at Gregg’s being thrown out at the end of the day for health and safety reasons, no longer wanted or needed, through no fault of their own at all. The scene leaves the reader breathless with emotion, and it is impossible not to feel sympathy towards Sirius, as well as the sausage rolls at Gregg’s, who now both rely on Remus to help them fill the emptiness they feel from their respective rejections. And Remus seems more than willing to fill any sort of emptiness Sirius needs him to, acting as a very firm support system for Sirius, something he likely has been lacking up to that point, his life most likely as structured as a sausage roll that has been lying in the warm shop window of a bakery for a little bit too long.

Obviously affected and embarrassed by the sheer intimacy of sharing such an intense moment with his new lover, Sirius is quick to belittle himself (“I’m being stupid”) when Remus asks him if he wants to stop their sexual activities in the name of the sausage rolls. Remus is delighted by Sirius’s refusal to stop their activities, stating he has been looking forward to it since Sirius gave Remus his telephone number the previous morning. An interesting detail here is Sirius making the first step, not only in giving Remus his number but even before that, by coming into the shop and consuming “his own weight in vegan sausage rolls”, which not only shows his consideration for other living creatures, but also hints at possible future acceptance towards his difficult situation with his family. Through eating the sausage rolls - on a daily basis - he is helping them fulfill their destiny, something his family has failed to help him achieve. But Sirius’s selfless acts help the sausage rolls reach their goal of being eaten and not going to landfill, something Remus also seems very passionate about, so it is no wonder that the two of them seem like such a perfect match.

Sirius describes watching Remus eat Yum-Yums, and occasionally also sausage rolls, with so much passion, and it is not hard to imagine how this affects Sirius, who sees a piece of himself in every bit of pastry Remus consumes. While on a surface level Remus seems oblivious to the deeper meanings behind the sausage rolls and even misguidedly asks Sirius if it is some sort of sexual fetish, one can speculate that on a more subconscious level, Remus also knows about the healing power of eating sausage rolls in bed with one’s lover, allowing each other to create a mess of crumbly pastry pieces, and finding joy in the brokenness and vulnerability of it all.

Remus understands that not everything needs to be perfect or whole in order to be devoured, a philosophy he applies to sausage rolls as well as Sirius. The hopeful ending of the story sees Sirius enjoying a post-coital cigarette, Remus enjoying a post-coital sausage roll, both of them covered in sugar as well as pastry flakes, and Sirius starting to see Remus’s perspective through all the pastry flakes, feeling the healing powers of sausage roll consumption and sex.

[hils79]

Hils Watches Goblin - Ep 5

It's interesting that the first time we see him properly in pain from the sword is right after he realises he's starting to fall in love with Eun Tak. There's definitely some sort of metaphor about his heart. Also, look at this gothic aesthetic. THIS is what I thought the whole drama was going to be like

Honestly I would watch a whole drama about Eun Tak helping ghosts, and them helping her too. All while her dork goblin boyfriend is in the background trying to be cool and impress her

She's so sweet. Filled up the fridge and then tidied the room too so the ghost's mother won't see all the mess

I love that he makes fun of the goblin and his relationship but totally fails as well. The are both such cringefail dorks

And now they're bonding over being cringefail dorks

Magically blowing out all those candles at once is definitely going to set off the hotel smoke alarm

This is such a stupid idea. 'I'll hang out with her until the first snow and then get her to kill me before I really fall in love with her and no longer want to die'. Absolutely no flaws there. Genius plan.

YAY! She's finally moving in with her boyfriend and her boyfriend's boyfriend. I wonder how long it will be before the grim reaper finds out that the woman he likes it Eun Tak's boss

I love that he's still acting like he wants Kim Shin to die. He's not fooling anyone.

These two arguing about interior design reminds me of that bit in The Man From UNCLE (movie) where Napoleon and Ilya are arguing about women's fashion

Grim Reaper looking positively scandalised that Kim Shin is inviting Eun Tak into his bed on the first night

Oh my god there was only one bed! Look at his little face he is totally trying to woo his way into the Grim Reaper's bed

Aww look at them having pillow talk in separate beds

Aww and now they're cooking together. Not sure I could stomach steak and salad for breakfast though

They are both so ridiculous and I love them

Aww now the grim reaper can call Sunny. I wonder how long it will be before he gets upset and freezes his phone

Aww he's asking Eun Tak to help give him a name. Why is this so cute?

I know you're busy studying but please kill me. I love that he's bribing her with tasty food and also respecting that she's trying to study for her exams

Is...is he wearing an agender shirt??

Aww she's flirting with the grim reaper to try and make Kim Shin jealous. You know what the solution to a love triangle is... (not that this is one but still she should be allowed to flirt with them both)

Eun Tak and the grim reaper are besties after one conversation. I love this

Grim Reaper is like 'this is better than any tv drama'

Look at this 900+ year old immortal hiding in his bedroom because he accidentally called himself Eun Tak's boyfriend

Yes, welcome not just to this restaurant but to the entire province of Quebec

Yes, that is definitely what will happen. Idiot.

[sw4tch]

RE: last post

(Also GOD I SWEAR i am a normal adjusted human being, i just like horror mixed with romance a lot ahhdjdjdjr)

As a "Cannibalism in fiction as a metaphor for Desire" enthusiast, i guess that Yes the act of consumption could be seen as The Most Romantic choice (you're giving in to desire!) BUT

But

Tailored to my own sensibilities, there's nothing that shows Peak Romance to me than someone Resisting their base urges because they love a person too much. This of course is only made better if the person constantly dreams and wants and yearns to Consume and Bite and Tear and Rip apart the person they desire, AND YET THEY WONT!!!!! BUT THEY WANT TO SOOOOO BADLYYYYYY. like cmon that's so (haha) tasty. The repression of feelings is so sexy to me idk what to tell u

Anyway that's why a cannibal not eating you is more romantic (but only with the explicit understanding that they're doing their goddamn best not to bite you at any given moment. If they drool a lot around u dont worry about it lmao)

[ragnarokhound]

#oh my god i love this#excellent dynamic 10/10#i love it#i am a big fan of like#self-loathing & ur lover accepting & loving the part of you that you loathe#it’s so good#so angsty and sweet and enables all the h/c and i just!!!#yes#& i love that it goes both ways with them#ALSO describing tim seeing his hunger as parasitic is so good#bc i love love love tim having that warped self perception & seeing himself as some kind of leech#who doesn’t deserve / stole what he has (obviously he didn’t but like! the perception!)#& then jason hating the beast in him—the beast being (presumably) his inner desires#those desires / that wanting (of love belonging affection) being what got him killed in the first place#im!!!!#(<- is making a lot of assumptions lol but)#it’s so good u have the best thoughts/ideas#jaytim#dcu

via @ladytauria

[sprinting full tilt at you from the distance] ...taauuUURRRIAAAAAA!!!!!!!

YES AGH YES. EXACTLY. IT'S ABOUT SELF-LOATHING BUT BEING LOVED ANYWAY!! IT'S YOUR LOVER SEEING YOU AND LOVING EVERY PART, AND WANTING YOU TO STOP HURTING YOURSELF BECAUSE THEY LOVE THE PARTS YOU HATE!!!! AUGHHH

It's so tasty, with Tim especially to me TuT I latched on very hard to Tim's like. Hyper-competence mixed with eternally feeling like an outsider. An imposter syndrome that he never indulges in to the point of paralysis, but fights with nonetheless. With feeling like a drain on the people around him, literally and figuratively T_T And vampirism is such an apt metaphor for this fjdlksafj

LIKE OKAY I literally messaged this to @bi-bats earlier today, but these are some of my Thoughts on it:

i'm just. very unwell about vampirism as a metaphor for the way Tim feels like an outsider. That he isn't meant to belong, that he could vanish one day and it wouldn't really matter fdjslfajs AND! equally unwell! about lycanthropy as a metaphor for Jason's rage both natural and unnatural, and his own status as an outsider in a place he once belonged in being condemned by bruce as a killer when he used to be his son

But oh my god. you!!! "those desires / that wanting (of love belonging affection) being what got him killed in the first place" TAURIA. AUGH *slams fist against the wall* I'M-- ;A; YES. YES I'D LIKE TO CO-OPT THIS INTO ALL OF MY WEREWOLF JASON HEADCANONS OK??? BECAUSE ok. Jason is very angry. And lycanthropy is soooo about that; about the person who snaps and becomes a monster to their loved ones. And Jason didn't snap so much as come back wrong, come back angry, but doesn't that fit?? So well?? Into the werewolf narrative? A strange man blows into town, and on the surface that's nothing to fear, but he's... off somehow? His eyes are strange 👀 he might be someone's brother, someone's son, but be careful of him. His teeth are sharp. Don't invite him inside. People are going missing.

HFF OK I'M DONE (i will never be done) THANK YOU FOR THESE TAGS THEY'RE IMMACULATE

Okay okay listen Tim would never understand Jason’s need to provide but he recognizes the devotion of it all and when he finally gets it… he’s never letting go. A different kind of devotion. That’s something they can both understand

yessss. YES. they initially have completely different views on it! Tim hates the part of himself that Jason craves to feed - he sees it as parasitic, a reason for shame, and the possibility that he could go too far one day and kill what he loves. For Tim, it's something to hate; for Jason, it's something to love.

But Tim understands devotion. He understands wanting to be claimed, wanting to belong wholly and utterly to someone, and he starts to see Jason's obsession with it as akin to that feeling. He wants it too, he feels it too OwO

Because what makes me insane about it is just...their problems are the same. Jason hates the wolf; Tim loves the wolf, because the wolf is Jason. Tim hates his thirst; Jason loves his thirst, because the thirst is Tim. It's so... if we have to hurt to live, then let me bear it with you. i'm not normal about it

[hrodvitnon]

So, I'm mildly curious, what are some yes/no conditions when it comes to some of the common monsters? Like, for me, if a werewolf turns into a mindless murder-obsessed creature on the full moon, that's a no; running on subconscious or actual wolf personality, I can work with that. So, what are some yes/no conditions for the following monsters: werewolf, vampire, dragon, fae, angel, demon, elder god, merfolk, & alien?

*cracks knuckles* Let me get into the ideals of my hypothetical monster boyfriend/girlfriend...

WEREWOLVES!

YES! Must retain full intellectual faculties when In The Fuzz, animalistic instincts only enhancing their natural personalities. Ready to fight to protect should the need to arise, but has a means to manage any prey drive that may come with the transformation (as I have a pet dog). Likes to hold hand as we take walks and then when we get home, fluffy cuddles ensue to warm up from the evening chill.

NO! Brain reduces to basic animal intelligence is a no-go; cannot verbally consent, therefore will not date. If they look at my doggy like she's a tasty treat while In The Fuzz, their ass is out. Also, if the werewolf is a Lon Chaney Jr.-styled humanoid wolfman, I'm not keen on asphyxiation of the not-erotic kind.

VAMPIRES!

YES! Always asks to be invited in because they're polite, even if I give them consent to just come on in. Despite having the suave gothic aristocratic aesthetic, is a sucker (heh) for going into bat form because being wrapped up in a blankie burrito is cozy and adorable. Enjoys going to the library and comparing various editions of old books. If given consent to drink blood should the need arise, will establish a signal to stop drinking so as to prevent anemia and/or death by blood loss

NO! Count Orlok faced plague metaphor vampire is a no-go, also Count Orlok looks like that fucking egghead Solas. Vampires who were turned as a minor and never aged is big No because ew. Non-consenting hypnosis eyes or manipulation. No sucking my body into a desiccated husk like a spider. No recreation of that one scene in Dracula where Mina is traumatically force-fed the blood of the same vampire who killed her best friend; also, no killing and/or turning my best friends into vampires against their will.

DRAGONS!

YES! Big, strong, scaly, intelligent, has a nice house someplace quiet where they can hide their hoard in the big basement... or a castle. Catlike behavior, tends to go a bit tsundere when compared to cat but will not refuse scritches. Often teases about "eating" me. Treasure hoard means financial security. Loud and fire-breathing and ready to defend their territory in a glorious kaiju-sized battle, but at the end of the day will snuggle close until we fall asleep together, covering me with their wings like a blanket.

NO! Literally eats me. Or torches me. Or crushes me. Or drops me from hundreds of feet in the air.

FAE!

YES! ...I'm iffy about the idea of dating one of the fair folk because odds are good it'll end badly, but... may date a fae if there is no trickery involved or if they CLEARLY COMMUNICATE that going on a trip to meet the family in Fae World will or will not result in my returning home and discovering 50 years passed or some shit. I dunno, I feel like the Irish in me is screaming "DO NOT FUCK WITH THE FAIR FOLK FIGURATIVELY OR LITERALLY!"

NO! Lady Isabel and the Elf-Knight situation. Or if I'm used as a Tam Lin-style tithe paid to hell. Or if I return home from a trip to Fae World and 50 years passed while I was gone.

ANGELS!

YES! (At least this would eliminate some occasional existential anxiety for good.) Depending on their place in the celestial hierarchy, they tend to take on A Form One Is Comfortable With so I don't get incinerated by their radiance. Has a naturally comforting presence but won't hesitate to throw hands; often serious but has a great sense of humor. Multiple wings = multiple fluffy blankets for hugs and cuddles. May be bashful... unless they're one of Samyaza's fallen angels. Ayyyy.

NO! How exactly is one meant to comfortably cuddle with flaming intersecting wheels with eyes? So many eyes...

DEMONS!

YES! Not the DOOM kind of demon. They could be a playful imp, a tantalizing succubus, a towering mountain of muscle and horns. Sophisticated as hell, makes plenty of lewd commentary but suddenly turns into a stuttering mess when given genuine affection. Once one has earned their loyalty and trust, they would fight all of heaven and hell for you if asked. An epic tale of the fallen angel turned noble demon receiving forgiveness and love... but still happily spanks your ass when you least expect it.

NO! Demonic possession and all that entails doesn't sound too much fun but that aside, if they go full DOOM and do to my doggy what happened to Daisey, well... may the Lord smile and the Devil have mercy, for I will have none.

ELDER GODS!

YES! I know "Elder God" was specified, but I'd risk a tango with a Deep One... Yig's a Great Old One but I do like snakes... but if we're talking actual Elder Gods, I might be convinced to have a one time thing with Nodens if his "old man" shape is like a beefy silver fox...

NO! Insanity and rapidly diminishing life expectancy is a pretty strong deterrent.

MERFOLK!

YES!

Need I say more?

NO! Don't drag me underwater to drown and eat me and we're good.

ALIENS!

YES!

NO! I don't care how many SFM porn vids I have to dig through for the good shit, I'm not banging anything that looks or sounds like a vorcha.

[7thcirclebaker]

Reveal fic idea that could happen but won't;

Alya is helping Marinette through a dilemma that is Adrien vs Chat but because they want to be able to talk about in public (school/the park/in general) they're using chocolate metaphors. Adrien is Caramel, Chat Noir is Dark Chocolate. They're talking at like kitty section rehearsals about how caramel is tasty but it's a little too sweet and you can't have it all the time but also dark chocolate is a bit too bitter to have all the time and Adrien who surprisingly was able to make it and doesn't know the metaphor at all is just like, "I think salted caramel is better than normal caramel, it tastes better and you can't always tell the different layers of a flavor at a first look or taste"

Marinette slightly bluescreens, Alya's like yes, I totally agree, this debate is now salted caramel vs dark chocolate also sunshine are you ok? Nino go have good chats with ya boi after this. Alya then uses this as a lever to try and push the concept of salted caramel filled dark chocolates because she's been noticing things that make that theory make sense more again. Plagg and Tikki who have figured out the metaphor are both laughing not so silently, Adrien is not sure what's up with Plagg.

Luka chimes in with how he thinks that Marinette would be surprised with how much she'll love salted caramel filled dark chocolates. Marinette bluescreens again. Alya is now sus of Luka and what does that mean, are both my ships sinking themselves, tell me blueberry!!

Later that evening after a stressed slightly freaked out Marinette leaves, Adrien is talking to Plagg and he's like I wonder what all that was about. Plagg being a little Chaos deity is like I dunno but pigtails seemed really stressed, she's probably just not had really good dark chocolate salted caramels before, you should get her some. Adrien, sweet bean, is sus of Plagg's motivations but also food is good for friends who are stressed. To be sure he consults someone who can definitely help but won't understand the context and it won't reveal his identity; Alya. He doesn't mention the specific type of food, just that a girl who he's friends with seems stressed and afraid to try this really tasty food but he wants to get her some really good ones so she can try how great they are. Alya's like do it, definitely.

He orders them online from like this fancy fancy place, they are the best of the best salted caramels from this shop that's like 200 years old that his mom always got stuff from (like the family account is under graham de vanily, that old of a family history of ordering) For plot convenience, Luka is the bike courier for these but the delivery address is the school because Adrien doesn't want his father seeing them. He's surprised that Luka is the delivery person but it's cool, Luka is like "No trust me, Marinette will absolutely love these Dark Chocolate Salted Caramels but are you absolutely sure this is how you want to give them to her?" (He thinks that Adrien knows now what the metaphor was, he is incorrect) Adrien is like "you're right, she always panics when she talks to me, I should just leave these in her locker with a nice note! Thanks Luka!" Luka is very surprised, he's also got a bad feeling. He texts Jules to tell him if anything happens in the class, it's important.

Adrien gets Plagg to open her locker while no one's around and he sticks them in with some cute cat pun about how he heard she was stressed and hopes these help, he thinks they're delicious Purrincess! There's a short afternoon Akuma (where chat notices ladybug is also stressed like Marinette, huh, weird that) so classes get mostly cancelled but Marinette has to pop some books into her locker and Alya comes with, Juleka is with them because possibly modeling for Mari again this afternoon, possibly getting fitted for a custom jacket to match Jaggeds and Luka is getting a similar one. Nino and Adrien are chilling nearby because Adrien has some free time now (this will become quite useful, plot convenient eh)

Marinette opens the locker, notices the box of fancy af chocolates. Reads the note, reads the chocolate label. Bluescreens so hard her panicked squeal is actually only audible to animals and heightened sense miraculous users (Alya, Adrien, Juleka, Alix, Kim) Alya reads the note, laughs, like manically, can't believe this is how it happened. Alix comes running from the art room, sees this all, looks at note from her desk she woke up to saying "Kittenix, record it for their wedding, trust me you won't regret it" pulls out their phone and records. Adrien who started running as soon as he heard the noise arrives in asking what's wrong, is everyone okay?!? Nino arrives notably after him, turtles are slow right. Alya grabs the chocolates before locking Mari's locker and begins steering her as she begins to hyperventilate towards the door. This is a conversation that officially should happen at the bakery, sorry Jules can you come over a different time pls, Alix put the phone away. Alix puts the phone away, skates away, to change into parkouring shoes and put on a go-pro, she will record, this is a mission from the future. Conveniently she can get in a good position for it, fluff is looking after their kittens scheming.

Back to the broken Marinette, Alya got them to her room in the bakery before dragging Nino back downstairs to fill him in slightly on why Marinette is broken and to look for snacks. Adrien has no idea what's wrong, what did he do, do you really hate salted caramel chocolates that much, he's definitely also panicking and begins to purr without noticing it to try and self soothe, this is what breaks marinettes bluescreen. He's trying to hide the purring and panicking and she's like "no, I love dark chocolate salted Caramels definitely I'm just surprised because I knew I loved caramel but then I realized it had salt in it that I hadn't noticed but that just made it better and more real but I didn't think I loved dark chocolate because I couldn't because I had a bad experience where if salted caramels chocolates were tasty they'd turn into white chocolate and I shouldn't have said this.... continued rambling" Adrien is no longer freaking out as much because he tried to follow her cute ramblings and is now lost. He tries to get clarification on the white chocolate thing and she's like I can't say anything!! Que Alix slipping in through the skylight, fluff again making sure the timeline fits. Marinette is like wtf are you doing and why?? Fluff just flies up and pulls the note out before handing it to Marinette and asking for carrot cake. Adrien and Alix both do the spiderman meme. Marinette begins hyperventilating again, Adrien begins panicking (and purring) again. Alix starts to laugh a little tbh, this is great, she doesn't regret anything. Alya pokes her head up to see how things are going, sees things have gotten worse, glares at Alix, Alix waves back.

Adrien's driver is here, he's gotta go, leaving this mess unresolved, for now. He is distracted in fencing, Kagami hands him his ass, and is like what's wrong with you and he's like I think I like Marinette but also I don't think she likes me and I don't know what to do and it's confusing. For that Kagami hands him his ass especially fast, punctuating each sentence of this conversation with more of a solid beating. She points out that he's been in love with Marinette since before they were dating, she was honestly under the impression they were politely dating each other when she was at the try-outs for the school. Marinette has been so consumingly in love with you for basically ever it's actually worrying at times, if I had a nickle for every time she's done something because she loves you and you call her just a friend with that lovestruck look on your face, I'd be richer than your mother and father combined! Kagami is a dragon and treasures her friends and will make sure they get treated right so help her! Adrien is panicking because Kagami is vicious and also she's tearing his worldview apart and yeah, no, he's actually gonna start punning in this spar because his slid into a default chat persona while he tries to figure things out. She's like, I hope you know what you have to do now at the end of fencing and he's like yeah (he doesn't, really, he has an inkling) he goes back home and cleans up, and talks to Plagg. Plagg is semi helpful. He gets ready for patrol after taking a quick walk around the garden making a small posy using flower language that says like, I'm sorry, pls don't hate me, also you're gorgeous, maybe coffee and we can take it slowly since we clearly don't know each other.

Meanwhile at the bakery, Alya and Alix are informed about chat Blanc, while Marinette panics and rants and paces. They're v.sympathetic, but Alix then stops the train of thought that looks like it's going towards running away or stripping memories or similar because clearly I haven't shown up to say things all go bad so this is fine. Marinette has an Aha yes, moment and gives Alix the watch back so that she can check things. Alix checks things, comes back grinning but won't say anything other than it's fine. Alya points out that Adrien gave her chocolates and he's probably panicking so like Mari could give him a present to show she's more than okay with the fact he's Chat. Plus Marinette needs to stress do something so like yeah that's a good idea. She can't give him any of the presents that she's already made because they're for Adrien not Chatdrien! A chocolate gets shoved in her mouth to shut up that panic spiral again. They are the most delicious chocolates tbh, she could definitely eat a dozen of these and die happy. Inspiration! She makes him a hoodie in dark brown, almost black with gold embroidery on the back saying "Pawsitively Delicious" panics a little bit more, wraps it up and heads on to meet him at patrol.

They talk, it's stressful but also relaxing. She tells him what she knows about chat Blanc, he freaks out but she's like no, it's fine because Alix says it's fine and she didn't stop this so it's all good and no I'm not taking the ring, actually I made you a present here *shoves into hands* he likes the hoodie he does, the cat pun is a plus, but he doesn't understand the colors. In all the panicking, he hasn't actually thought about the chocolate metaphor so still hasn't figured that out. She then has to explain and he finds it funny but then she's like, wait a ducking second, Luka who's not supposed to know who we are and specifically told me he didn't know suggested the dark chocolate salted caramels, that snake! Luka, on the other side of the city feels a disturbance in the force, gulp. Adrien convinces her to deal with Luka like tomorrow maybe please, no okay. He loves one badass woman and he's gotta go stop her from committing murder or panicking so much she gets Akumatized

FIN

[kettlequills]

comments on my little shortfic champion of the skein:

#all that blood it takes hours#ouuuu maj gaaad#bestie this is so amazing#as always your writing is otherworldly !!#got me#i love you i love your writing i love your ocs this is so insane#friends oc#friends writing - @keleravna

Thank you !! I'm glad you enjoyed and hoh yes I also enjoyed writing the repititon of that line.

#oh. oh HELLO.#tasty. delicious. delightful. t e e t h#you know I very nearly didn't scroll down far enough in my notifs to see this I'm so glad I did#okokokok like#the fuckin. the way you can feel laat losing their mind to the skein just by how unfocused the narrative is is DELICIOUS#usually they seem so determined and focused but not this time bestie <3 this time they're fucked#literally and metaphorically#<3#something about Mephala using them for both her spheres - all three of her spheres if you count secrets and them not knowing shit I guess -#is so fucking valid of her bestie. so girlboss gaslight gatekeep. mmmm.#laat: I'm finally gonna get some relief and build up to the climax of this piece -makes it to the center of the skein-#Mephala: hahaha BITCH you forgot! I decide when a story climaxes! -fucking DROPS THEM-#oh that line she wouldn't let them die but she might just drop them' made me feral with implication 10-10#actually the entire fic is implication 11/10#whee ok I'm gonna hit tag limit if that's still a thing

#oh. this goes on my tes blog actually. hmm#other timelines#anyway I wanna know who she has for him to kill#on one hand it feels like mora#on the other hand it would be so fucking funny if this is during the oblivion crisis#Dagon and Martin-Akatosh are duking it out in the temple district and suddenly#what's THIS? IT'S A HALF NAKED DRAGON PRIEST WITH A STEEL CHAIR!#drops from the sky with poison still mixing with the blood on their skin hakshsjhsjsjjsh#fic rec - @markynaz

hi? you have dropped my heart here you go. THANK you for this essay it made my absolute month. and yesss ,,, all the implications.,... all of them are happening here. mephala sure is using laat for *all* aspects of her sphere.

[aprillikesthings]

It's 2:30pm I've had breakfast and coffee and my adhd meds, let's go

EDIT I got partway into the second episode wooo

okay so you know that moment of Catra THONKing her head on the locker that I couldn't stop laughing at yesterday? I recorded it with my phone just now, including me laughing

OKAY THE VIDEO SHOULD WORK *NOW* Anyway now you know I watch all of these in an open tab of Netflix. I don't even fullscreen it bc I'm constantly bouncing between that tab and this one.

(The long fic that is the whole reason I'm rewatching is the left-most tab in case you were wondering--it's literally the fic, netflix, this tab--mmmmost of the rest of the open tabs are other fics, the wikipedia list of episodes, a couple of fanvids, and a bunch of meta)

Also my laugh sounds weird to me here I blame my allergies

Also I really did have some wine last night, huh

OKAY back to Glimmer giving Scorpia that little speech

And yeah I know I just mentioned the parallels between Catra and Glimmer, but like--Catra also did this. She also gassed up Scorpia with the specific intent of encouraging her to do something she wanted Scorpia to do (attend Princess Prom).

And neither of them said anything un-true! But they were still both manipulating her for their own ends.

yeah! by blowing it to smithereens

Anyway back on Beast Island they're trying to gtfo

Except Entrapta doesn't want to go D:

Like she flat-out says, "I'm staying."

There's creepy-ass vines climbing all over everything and knocking out some of the power

"-was so confusing. I just wasn't suited for friendship. I belong here."

(Ohhhhhh I get it--it's the same "crippling self-doubt" thing this place does to everyone.)

ALSO THAT'S CREEPY

She-Ra is just like, Absolutely Not

Man I feel bad for both of them. But also there's a bunch of creatures with sharp teeth surrounding them

Anyway the fight scene that happens is too much to go into detail about, but Micah gets bit, a much bigger creature attacks them, the vines keep trying to take over Entrapta who keeps saying variations on "nobody understands me, that's okay, just leave me here"

Those vines are a great Metaphor for some kinds of mental illness, like depression--that lie to you and tell you this kinda shit.

Bow, who is as always Mr. Emotional Intelligence, says "Did you think friendship is easy? It takes WORK to be there for other people!"

Bow: "Because we're not EVER going to leave you behind again! And we never gave up on you, even when you were with the Horde! Because that's what friends do!"

(oooh that's some tasty foreshadowing! Seriously this is a great scene in general but also HMM who else might they not give up on)

(...wait multiple people actually now that I think about it)

;_;

OH GOD Micah's magical protection shield breaks and Adora, bless her, is like "WE ARE OUT OF TIME. Entrapta, we flew here on an ancient First Ones ship."

Adora might be a littttttle infantalizing in tone here but tbh it worked, so

lol there's more monsters so Entrapta calls her robot to beat them up

"I'm glad we're friends."

(Ugh they wrote Entrapta SO WELL. Like yes it was her special interest that got her to want to leave, but she does care about her friends and she makes an effort--and it's obviously AN EFFORT--to thank Bow for being kind to her. Her words sound slightly stilted, bc saying these sorts of things is a learned skill that doesn't come naturally, but she still means them!)

I had a split second of confusion before realizing this is definitely Double Trouble lol

headcanon: when Double Trouble is alone, they twist their hair all the time the way I do

OH GOD oh shit okay I'm going to just copy/paste from the fanmade transcript:

Double Trouble: I was looking forward to meeting this Entrapta character before I left Bright Moon. But of course, as you know, she wasn't there. Hordak: What did you say? Double Trouble: Oh, you don't need keep up the charade with me. I figured out the truth. You had Catra send Entrapta to Beast Island, so She-Ra would run off to rescue her. A brilliant idea! The perfect distraction. I have to applaud your work, you really had me going. So scorned by Entrapta's betrayal. ...Even now you look like you had no idea! Double Trouble: Brava. I mean, I did consider the alternative...

Double Trouble: That she made you think she was your partner in crime, while really she is the one who betrayed you... Double Trouble: But between you and me, there's no way she's that good of an actor. Double Trouble: Well, I'll leave you to it. Congrats again. Great work all around.

OOOOOH DOUBLE TROUBLE IS SUCH A LITTLE SHIT (and I love them)

Hordak is so pissed he blows some shit up. And shows A Real Human Emotion!!!

in the meantime, they got Entrapta et al safely on the ship

but Bow properly tells the ship to take them back to Bright Moon

And the Horde sends off a bunch of troops as Double Trouble watches and says, "Too easy, as usual."

to quote Double Trouble themself from an earlier episode, "Espionage is a long game, kitten."

OH HO THEY'RE IN CONTACT WITH GLIMMER!

(Oh, that means Double Trouble didn't actually escape, they switched sides, right)

AAAAAUGH

Glimmer and Scorpia teleport out JUST as Bow, Adora, Swift Wind, and Micah show up oh my god that is some Shakespeare-level shit. Like the "camera" backs up and we see Glimmer and Scorpia sparkle away JUST as everyone else runs in from the side D:

But yeah Micah goes looking for Glimmer (his daughter he hasn't seen since she was A CHILD) and

this BITCH

Micah knows what's up. "What is this traitor doing here???"

Catra doesn't know Hordak knows oh god do I hate this my adrenaline is through the fucking ROOF, she just knows Hordak wants to talk to her

Yeah she only barely gets missed by a blaster shot

NOT EVEN USING HER NAME, HUH

AAAND ROLL CREDITS

okay just gonna jump into the next episode, will reblog only when I run out of images

Adora: Stay here, King Micah. The Sorcerers Guild is on their way to help protect Bright Moon. I promise, Your Majesty, we'll bring Glimmer home to you. Swift Wind, take Bow and Entrapta to the Fright Zone. Find Glimmer, we can still stop this. Bow: What are you going to do? Adora: I'm going to the Crystal Castle. I have to keep Light Hope from activating the Heart of Etheria.

She turns into She-Ra

Roll intro!

I usually skip the intro but

eheheheheheheh

*ahem* anyway

oh lord that door is going to open to something

I WAS RIGHT

Scorpia tries to say Glimmer's "a new recruit! Glimmax....Pinkhairton."

Okay but also Lonnie is clearly on Scorpia's side here. "We thought you got out??? If Catra sees you here--"

One of the themes of She-Ra is actually that bad and abusive management causes high turnover. (Like for real my manager is great and that's why I've been at my job eight years.)

Lonnie: "But you're one of us, Scorpia. We won't stand in your way."

Which makes Scorpia emotional

ANYWAY back to Hordak's perfectly justified temper tantrum at Catra

Catra continues to play the "She was a traitor!" card. Anyway he just keeps blasting and she just keeps running

Hordak: "And after I'm through, you can't even begin to imagine the punishments Horde Prime will inflict upon you."

Everyone in the Horde is literally like "Just wait til your father gets home!!!!"

Hordak is just blasting shit all over the place as Catra runs!!

And I've run out of images again, time to reblog

The next episode itself is a two-parter, and I think that rather than split them up I will just watch through, which might mean I have to reblog this post multiple times.

Finishing out season four!

s4, eps 12&13 Destiny

Usual reminder: this is a REwatch and there’s spoilers ahoy, I make a lot of bad jokes (some of which are Adult In Nature), I reference other cartoons, I make random asides.

(also, this time specifically, I had some alcohol)

Tbh? it's a lot like watching things like this with me in person aaahahaha I always want to pause and infodump shit -_-

lol Emily is destroying Shadow Weaver's garden

Emily acts like Mal the cat does sometimes. WHAT IS IN YOUR MOUTH you are not supposed to have that! Get out of there!

UGGGH

it's easy to forget how BIG Scorpia is??

LOLOL oh my god I went downstairs for like an hour and a half talking to my partners about the most random shit and then playing with the cat and also: I've had most of a can of wine.

One of these:

YEAH (that's a huge image)

so if these get weird: blame the wine I guess

oh also @corpseauthority and I picked out fake fur and minky fabric for the ears and tail of my Catra cosplay :D :D :D I'M SO EXCITED

OKAY BACK TO SHE-RA

the only thing better than Scorpia's "huh?" is Shadow Weaver's flat "what"

Shadow Weaver: no we need the other princesses Glimmer: well they're gone but-- Scorpia, Shadow Weaver, and Emily: WAIT, WHAT???

AND THEN

okay but is the guard telling you this Double Trouble

ROLL INTRO

that thing was not meant to hold four humans and a horse with wings

why are you SNIFFING HIM

Entrapta: "I don't know you" Micah: "Yes, you do. You stole my food." Entrapta: "OH YEAH! It was delicious :D"

oh god Adora's like "....but are you okay? we came here to find you 🥺"

and she's like YEAH I'M GREAT

"each more deadly than the next??? it's PARADISE"

I love her so much oh my godddd

Bow: "We're here to rescue you" Entrapta: "didn't I just rescue YOU?"

Bow mentions Hordak and Entrapta pulls her little new bug-eye mask down :(

Adora: so hey we uhhhhhhhh really need your help due to a terrible secret of the First Ones that nobody but us knows

"WHy didn't you say so???"

well that's a callback to s1 ep1

THERE SHE IS!! MY BABY 😍 I LOVE HER SO MUCH

nooo

anyway Kyle, Rogelio, and Lonnie come in and Catra's like OH UHHH so...what's happening

Lonnie: "we just got back from conquering another Rebel town" Kyle: ":D You should've seen us!! It was all:"

and then he kicks Scorpia's old locker, with the drawings on it, and Catra gets mad

Ironically the degree to which Catra is UPSET is making me ship them harder lol

bb you need a break you are getting feral

Man Lonnie has her number lol. "What is wrong with you? We're winning! Even you should be happy."

god I love when she's this deranged

she slams poor Lonnie against a locker

john cena dot gif

but also OH DO THEY REMIND YOU OF WHO YOU USED TO BE? HMM? what you really wanted??? what actually gave you something like joy or contentment????? are you trying to just erase any part of you capable of feeling good?????????

Kyle is RIGHT

The cinematic parallels between Catra and Glimmer in this episode ("forget my friends I'M IN CHARGE HERE and YOU NEED TO FOLLOW ORDERS") are *chef's kiss*

Catra realizing this isn't what she actually wants: part ....a lot

STOP REMINDING ME I HAVE FEELINGS!!

The other three leave, she yanks the drawings off Scorpia's old locker, then THUMPs her head on it. And then Double Trouble shows up!

okay wait tho the way she pauses and then thumps her head on it is so funny I wish I could gif it, it's so cat-like and also Very Emo

I don't think this is supposed to be funny but it IS and I cannot stop rewinding and laughing. I blame the wine.

THONK

help i've rewatched it like five times now

okay

lol right??

Me, when I was info-dumping my own fic at myself: is it weird to imagine these two banging??? Me now: nope

Double Trouble: "Apologies for the delay, kitten. I got ...held up...in Bright Moon"

Anyway they give a little speech about how the Princesses keep fighting and She-Ra is away

NO SHIT, SHERLOCK

(now THERE's an old fandom reference ahahaha)

"We can't let them return to the Fright Zone!" TOO FUCKING LATE

YOU STOLE HER GARNET YOU WOULD THINK SO

Anyway they argue about the possibility of Glimmer taking Scorpia back to the Fright Zone

GOD I HATE IT WHEN SHE'S RIGHT UGGGHHHH

lolol I am. like. less than ten minutes into the FIRST OF TWO EPISODES and i've hit the image limit.

[asukaskerian]

I never really quite got all of the classes on demon categorization and summonings (like, demons basically being in someone's head/not being physical vs. them being summoned/physical and the overall way they catagorize) with MotDP. So, like, do they only categorize demons as Class 3 if they're able to look humanoid when in physical form? Could you explain to help out my dumb head? T u T

it’s mostly a question of smarts!

intelligence is a big amplificator of magic. it also affects the ambient magic, the ether all around people, etc.

Class ones are smart like insects or jellyfish, class threes are more like really smart dogs or young kids. (if they’re summoned then all of them can use their summoner’s language skills to communicate, IF they come out with mouths and vocal chords that work like ours, but a class one would mostly say like, “hungry” or “scared”.)

but! when a demon is in their own dimension, nobody has a physical body. when they they cross over, mostly they lean on whatever their soul’s description is close to in the human consciousness. because human belief and stereotypes shape a lot of how these things translate from pure ideas into physical representations.

... it kinda works via metaphor.

basically karkat is smart like a human and summoners would expect him to look like them because sentient = human in their heads, so there’s a lot of his body that looks human, with crab stuff added on because they scuttle and have armor on but they’re also super tasty and everybody wants a piece. his soul resonates with things that humans think crabs are like, so he’s got crab attributes.

but if he had come out of a gate at the bottom of the ocean (yes there are just as many as on land), he’d have a body that looks more like an octopus... with crab attributes, if the octopuses also think of crabs the way we think of them.

it’s entirely possible that a class one could look very human, but still be very dumb, because they have attributes other than smarts that are very close to humans and that was the best translation of the rest of them. dexterity, senses, no hair, social behavior, etc. it would be super rare to hit on just the right combo, but not 100% impossible. and if a class four demon is super alien mentally speaking they could also not come out humanoid at all. but humans expect demons to look humanoid while they’re in a body and that belief influences things a lot. so it’s not an absolute rule that class ones look very animal and class fours don’t, it’s just what tends to happen due to subconscious expectations influencing things.

anyway, the power levels are not very scientific and precise at ALL, they’re more like rough comparisons. a class four is supposed to be a demon of a level sufficient to make sure no other identical classpect demon can hang out at THEIR hell gate. but like. considering how rare blood demons are, you could have a blood demon who’s super weak and is still the only one there. the definition is very flawed. demons mostly go by “is this one more or less dangerous than that one” “ok th things they do are very different so it’s hard to measure but let’s say they’re less but not that much, we’ll tell the dumb humans they’re class three.”

but mostly, class fours are sentient at an adult level. that’s the main thing humans tend to use. and since intelligence multiplies power then even if the demon is naturally very weak, if they’re smart they’ll still be somewhat stronger than a dumber one with more natural power.

... and if they’re smart they can trick and eat the stronger ones and take that strength for themselves. so. in  the end that sorts itself out.

(out of universe explanation: i wanted all the canon trolls to be at about the same level of strength. so i called it “class four” and moved on. XD)

[daanisnotcrazy-orishe]

(I'm Dutch, so I know this stuff, and I wanted to add on a little more explaining of the above)

They're fighting the slavery in chocolate industry by making BETTER CHOCOLATE that is SLAVE FREE

Like bro this stuff is So Good. It's so frigging delicious.

And yes, the bar is in weird, unfair and uneven pieces because the people that work to make chocolate (except for Tony's!) get weird, unfair and uneven treatments. Too little pay, very bad living/working circumstances, bad healthcare, bad education, and very little, if any, possibilities to get anything better.

Tony Chocolonely refuses to take that route and wants everyone to know you do not need slavery to make good chocolate. And boy did they succeed cuz as I said, it's such incredibly tasty and perfect chocolate. Also there are so many delicious flavours (try out caramel seasalt if you can it's one of the best)

Also, they said that their bars won't be shaped fair until the chocolate industry as a whole, is fair. It is a visual metaphor.

And mind the name, Tony Choco-lonely. It's also a play on how they're the only slave-free chocolate (at least when they started, probably still, even though they encourage every brand to make this change)

Yeah this kinda reads like an add too but besides being a bit more expensive compared to other chocolates (but eh, part of that is to pay their workers properly) this brand is pretty much perfect chocolate to me, and it just seeps through. I'm not a journalism-blog, I don't need to refrain from being opinionated here :)

today i bought a chocolate bar just because i really liked the graphic design

but the bar itself is also really cool looking? i found a diagram that says exactly how big each piece is

the wikipedia article reads like an ad but i gotta say, this part in particular is pretty fun