#YES I NOW HAVE THREE JAVI SERIES

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Chapter 21- Paradise

Summary: Now that you and Javi are married, it's time for you to enjoy two weeks of nothing but your three favorite "S's"- Sun, sand, and sex. Lots of Sex.

Word Count: 13.9K

Warnings: SMUT (18+) unprotected p in v sex, oral (f and m receiving) vaginal fingering, praise kink, marriage kink, big, fat, nasty, unspeakable breeding kink (WHOOPS), stopping birth control/starting a family, kind of semi-public sex (sex on the beach hehe), alcohol/drinking (y'all are getting wasted at the pool), I'm convinced these two can't have sex without getting caught (sorry, Chucho), Javi in a bathing suit, these two are so stupidly in love

A/N: ..... Hey.... Y'all remember when I actually wrote for this story.... 😭 I'm genuinely SO sorry that this chapter took me literal months to finish, but she is finally here!!! Thank you so much for all of your patience and the love you've shown these two even in this story's absence 🥺 I hope you enjoy these two horndogs on their honeymoon!!!

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“We have all of our bags?” 

“Yup.” 

“Passports?” 

“Mhmmmm.” 

“Plane tickets?” 

“Yes.” 

“We’re positive that we have-” 

“Baby, I promise, I triple checked everything this morning, it’s all waiting by the front door, all we have to do now is just wait for my dad to pick us up and take us to the airport, and all my wife needs to do is take a deep breath and relax.” 

My wife. 

Even though you had been married for less than 24 hours, you knew the sentiment of finally getting to be Javi’s wife wasn’t wearing off on you any time soon. 

Javi smiled, playfully crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow at you as you ran through your honeymoon inventory again, knowing damn well you looked like a fool in your frantic pre-traveling state. You more than trusted that Javi had everything the two of you needed before you left for the airport, but you just couldn’t shake the fact that you felt like you were forgetting something, despite all your checks and re-checks. 

“Well, your wife will be much more relaxed once we land after being trapped in a flying tin can and have two feet on the ground again.” You sighed, trying not to let your fear of flying override your excitement to finally arrive in the Bahamas later that day. “God, I feel like I forgot to pack something important but I can’t figure out what.” 

As you stared in frustration at your pile of suitcases, you could feel Javi sneaking behind you, flushing his chest to your back as his arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer to him as he rested his chin on your shoulder, planting a soft kiss on your temple. 

“I think I know what it is.” Javi smirked, his kisses traveling down your jaw as he nipped at your ear, making you turn your head back toward him in confusion. 

“Oh, so now you’re a husband and a mind reader. That honestly will come in very handy.” You teased, giggling while you shifted around to face him, draping his arms around his neck as his hands traveled down your waist, reaching down to grab a handful of your ass. “Jesus Javi, what in the world am I forgetting, because you seem pretty darn happy I can’t remember it.” 

“You really don’t know?” Javi asked, almost mockingly, tightening his grip around your hips, peppering kisses along your jaw and neck, the hot words of his breath dancing across your skin. 

“No, Mr. Mind Reader, I don’t, and you’re making it very hard to concentrate and figure out what it is.” 

You were trying your best to genuinely let your brain run out its train of thought, but as Javi’s kisses across your collarbone became wetter and sloppier, trying to form any sort of coherent idea was practically impossible. 

Javi paused for a moment, reaching both hands up to cusp your face, his broad hands cradling your jaw as his thumbs swiped across your cheeks, looking up at him to see the boyish grin spread from cheek to cheek. 

“You’re forgetting something because you’re forgetting to bring it on purpose. Something we threw away this morning, remember?” 

Oh shit. 

You were forgetting something. Only, now that you finally remembered what it was, you couldn’t be happier that you had forgotten it. 

Your birth control. 

As Javi watched your face quickly fade from confusion to delight, your grin was just about as wide as his, biting down on your lip to try and contain your excitement while your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest. 

The two of you could actually start trying for a baby. 

“You remember now?” Javi teased, laughing to himself at how wide your eyes had gone, practically beaming from the inside out at your husband, feeling butterflies swirl in your stomach and heat building in your core. 

Leaning up, your mouth met Javi’s in a sloppy dance of tongues and teeth, lips crashing together in electric excitement, grabbing a fistfull of the fitted green t-shirt covering his chest and tugging him closer towards you. 

“How much longer until your dad is supposed to be here?” You rasped, already breathing heavily from your frantic kisses and anticipation. 

Quickly, Javi looked down at his watch wrapped around his wrist, the gears turn in his brain, calculating if the two of you had enough time to do what he knew you were proposing. 

“Fuck- Like, 40 minutes?” 

Without saying a word, both of you agreed in silent, rushed nods that 40 minutes was enough time to give yourself enough of a buffer, and the risk definitely didn’t outweigh the reward, knowing there was no way in hell that you could wait an entire plane ride and arriving at your hotel room to fuck. 

In an instant, your mouths were crashing together again, Javi grabbing the underside of your thighs to hoist you up, wrapping your legs around his waist as he carried you back towards the couch in the living room, the back of his knees hitting the sofa as he collapsed into his seat, you still straddling his lap without ever parting your lips. 

Javi’s hands crept below the hem of your shirt, shuffling it over your head and tossing it on the floor before shuffling your shorts and underwear off to join your top in a crumpled pile on the floor. Your hands worked rapidly at the waistband of Javi’s shorts, lifting up off his lap to push them down his thighs, revealing the hard and weeping mess his cock had already become since carrying you over to the couch, your cunt aching at the sight of his length and how desperately you wanted to be filled by it. 

“God, I wanna fuck you so bad.” You whimpered between your wet kisses, shifting yourself closer to hover over his dick, so turned on that you were convinced that your arousal was already dripping down your thighs at an embarrassing rate. 

“Baby, you have no fucking idea.” Javi groaned, dragging his fingers through your folds, your body jolting at the sensation at the pads of his fingers rubbing over your clit, throbbing and aching under his touch. “Jesus Christ, you’re so fucking wet.” 

Reaching down to wrap your hand around the base of his cock, stroking it a few times, you slowly lowered yourself down onto his tip, knowing that with your limited time and how turned on you were, you didn’t want to feel anything besides the sweet sting of Javi’s stretch filling you to the brim. 

The two of you moaned in unison as you sank down on his length, bottoming out until you had taken every inch of him, taking a second to adjust to his size before rolling your hips over his lap in figure eights. 

“F-fuck, you feel so good, Javi.” You whined, circling your bottom half faster, the friction of the hairs at the base of Javi’s cock rubbing deliciously against your clit combined with Javi groping at your breasts, sucking at one of your pebbled nipples while he rolled the other between his fingers, making your breath hitch in the back of your throat. 

Javi began to let his hips rut up into yours, thrusting his length deeper into your cunt as you rode him, his hands sliding down the sides of your body and wrapping around your ass, massaging the plump flesh between his fingers while his lips crashed into yours again, catching each other’s muffled moans. 

“F-fuck…”  Javi whined, tightening his grip to try and maintain his composure as his thoughts began to flow straight from his brain through his mouth. “I’m gonna fuck you so full of me, Osita. Fuck a baby into you, get you pregnant, watch you grow our our kid and give us our perfect family.” 

“Oh my god- fuck- yes. Please, Javi. Fuck, I want you to knock me up. I wanna- fuck- I wanna  make you a daddy.” You moaned, running your hands through the dark curls of Javi’s hair as he began to pound into you even harder, his fingertips gripping your hips with bruising intensity as he guided you up and down his cock, the two of you both so lost in your own pleasure that you hadn’t heard a faintly familiar voice echoing from the front door. 

“Javi, Mija, I know I’m a little early but I figured you’d rather get to the airport earlier than later!” 

Little did poor Chucho know that today was one of the few times in his life that he would regret showing up anywhere earlier than expected. 

Surprised by the lack of response, despite the packed and stacked bags waiting by the front door, an unsuspecting Chucho kicked off his boots and began meandering down the entryway towards your living room, where and even more unsuspecting you and Javi were half dressed and sprawled across your couch trying to make a baby. 

“Javier? Mija? Are you two ready to leave soon? I was hoping that- Oh Dios Mio!” 

“AHHHHHHH!” 

With Javi’s back to his dad as you sat in his lap, you were the first to lock eyes with your now father-in-law, your jaw practically falling to the floor as you let out a panicked shriek, causing Javi to whip his own head around, terror running through his veins as he frantically threw you off his lap and tried to cover the both of you with the nearest blanket he could find. 

“Jesus Christ, Pops!” Javi shouted, hands covering his face that had turned bright red in quite possibly the world's worst kind of embarrassment. “Why are you here so early?! Please just, I- I don’t know, for Christ’s sake, please go wait outside!” He sighed, pointing towards the front door where Chucho had just regrettably entered from. 

“How was I supposed to know!? I figured I would be safe! Say no more, I will just go wait on the front porch. Aye, aye, aye…” Chucho replied, quickly scampering away towards the door, eyes peeled to the ground and arms up in self-defense, waiting until you heard the soft slam and clicking lock behind him before peering out from underneath your blanket shield. 

“Jesus fucking Christ…” Javi groaned, hands still covering his face as you looked up at him, cheeks glowing beet red in embarrassment. 

“Please don’t tell me your dad just walked in on us having sex…” You winced, absolutely knowing the answer to your question, but still somehow praying that maybe, just maybe, you were imaging things. 

“... My dad definitely just walked in on us having sex.” Javi sighed, his face as almost as red as yours, scrambling to find your clothes scattered between the cushions, tossing them over to you, frantically trying to cover yourself up to save any ounce of dignity you had left. 

“Well, looks like I am going to start walking to the airport because I don’t think I can ever make eye contact with your dad again…” You muttered, making you and Javi laugh just enough to try and ease the uncomfortable tension, wondering how in the world you were supposed to spend an entire ride to the airport with Chucho without wanting to crawl out of your skin. “I thought you said he was supposed to get here later!”

“Well that’s what I thought too, but apparently not!” Javi grumbled, shuffling his shirt over his head, combing his hand through his hair to try and fix the mess you had made raking your fingers through it. 

“Guess we won’t have any worries about getting to the airport on time…” 

“Guess you’re right about that. Fuck me…” 

“Sure you don’t wanna start walking?” 

While Chucho, you and Javi had seemingly made a silent pact to not say a peep to each other the entire car ride for the duration of your drive, every passing second seemed more awkward and uncomfortable than the last, truly regretting your decision to not grab your bags and walk along the highway to try and catch your flight. 

It wasn’t until Chucho began pulling up to drop the two of you off that he decided it was time to break your truce, his eyes meeting yours in the rear view mirror as the two of you sat awkwardly in the backseat, bracing yourself the moment you could feel his mouth begin to open. 

“You know, the night of our wedding, Lucia and I just couldn’t keep our hands off each other either, it was so-” 

“Dad!” Javi interjected, his face physically scrunching in pain at the thought of how his father planned to complete the rest of that thought, trying to cut him off before he could get any further. 

“Lo siento (Sorry)! God forbid I try to do something to ease the tension!” Chucho chuckled, throwing his hands up in defense at his statement. 

“I don’t think where you were headed was the way to do that, Pops.” Javi muttered, letting out another deep sigh of embarrassment. 

 “Well lucky for you, it looks like we’re here.” Chucho smiled, pulling into one of the parking spots outside of your gate and turning off the ignition. “Here, let me help you with the bags in the trunk and-” 

“Nope, already got it, Pops, please do not get out of the car.” Javi begged, practically sprinting out of the backseat to the trunk, you quickly following behind him, beginning to sheepishly unload your luggage from the car. 

Of course, Chucho being Chucho was not about to take no for an answer, slowly fumbling his way out of the car to greet the two of you at the trunk with a mischievous grin stretched ear to ear. 

“Pops, please, I told you I’ve got it, I-” 

“Oh hush, Javier, I am just coming out to say goodbye, yo promento (I promise).” Chucho laughed, grabbing Javi by the shoulder, giving him a little shake. 

“Bye Chucho.” You grimaced, leaning in reluctantly for a hug. “Thanks for dropping us off. S-sorry about earlier.” You couldn’t help but wince again, eyes darting to the ground at your last sentence. 

“Oh mija, don’t apologize. Could be worse.” 

“I’m not really sure how it could be…” You whispered under your breath, just loud enough for Javi to hear, making him hold back a snort. 

“Besides, I think this bodes well for my bet I have placed.” Chucho smirked, crossing his arms over his chest as the two of you looked at him in confusion, 

“Your bet?” Javi asked, raising an eyebrow at his dad. 

“Mhmmm. The bet between me, your family, Mija, and the Murphy’s.” 

“As much as I love a vague and cryptic guessing game, any chance you’re gonna tell us what that bet is?” You laughed uncomfortably, looking back between Javi and Chucho. 

“Oh, don’t you worry, Mija. I think the two of you will know soon enough. Okay, enough of that! I will let the two of you go. Have a safe flight and a wonderful trip. I couldn’t be happier for the two of you. Enjoy your first of your many amazing adventures as a married couple.” 

While you couldn’t deny you still weren’t far off from wanting to find the nearest hole and disappear in, you couldn’t help but feel your cheeks warm at the sentiment of Chucho’s well-wishes, placing your hand in Javi’s and squeezing it tight, beaming up at your husband with love and excitement. 

“Thanks, Pops.” 

“Claro (of course). Alright, mijos, adios. Have fun. But not too much fun, if you know what I-” 

“Yup, we know exactly what you mean, bye, Dad!” Javi grunted, gently turning his father around and pushing him back towards the car making him laugh, giving the both of you one last wave goodbye before disappearing down the road. 

“Jesus Christ, I’m glad that’s over…” Javi sighed, wrapping his arm around your waist, pressing a kiss to your forehead. 

“You can say that again. What bet do you think he was talking about?” 

“Honestly, no fucking clue. And truth be told, right now, I couldn’t care less. Because right now,” He paused, leaning down to hold your cheek in his palm, forcing your gaze up at him, “all I care about,” he paused once again, planting a playful kiss on your lips, “is getting my beautiful wife onto this plane so we can start our honeymoon.” 

“Say it again.” You smiled, pressing up on your tiptoes to kiss him back. 

“My wife. My beautiful, amazing, drop dead gorgeous wife, who has single-handedly made me the luckiest man in the entire world.” Javi smirked, biting down on his lip as his grip tightened around you, making you giggle. 

“Easy there, Romeo, we still have a whole flight to get through, ya know.” 

Fortunately, your flight and arrival to the Bahamas was much less eventful than anything that had happened this morning, the embarrassment of your father-in-law’s unfortunate timing quickly fading away as you strolled up to the front desk to check into your room for the next ten days of nothing but what you had deemed your three favorite “S’s”- 

Sun, sand, and sex. 

Lots of sex. 

“Hi there! Welcome! My name is Cassandra, how can I help the two of you today?” A woman smiled politely from behind the check-in desk, quickly clacking away at her keyboard. 

“Hi. We’re checking in for Peña.” Javi beamed, grabbing your hand in his, gently rubbing his thumb over both sets of rings wrapped around your finger, knowing there wasn’t a chance in hell he’d ever get used to the fact he was lucky enough to get to call you his wife for the rest of his life. 

“Perfect! Let me get right on that.” She nodded, fingers tapping across the keys as she looked up your information. “Any special reason for your stay here?” 

“Honeymoon.” The two of you answered in sync, laughing to yourselves at your well timed response. 

“Well why didn’t you say that to begin with?! Let me see if I have anything I can upgrade you to for your stay!” Cassandra scoffed, almost comedically offended that your opening line hadn’t been “It’s our honeymoon, upgrade our room please!” 

“Oh, you don’t have to-” 

“Oh, honey, please. This is my favorite part of my job. Absolutely the least I can do for the two of you. Congratulations. Just give me one second here and…. Ah! Yes! I thought this one was available. Let’s upgrade you to the Ocean View King Suite. This one is one of my favorite rooms. You get the most beautiful view of the sunrise right from your balcony!” 

You and Javi looked at each other beaming, grins plastered across your faces in surprise. “Thank you so much, this is so nice of you to do for us.” You smiled. 

“Of course. Least that I can do. Like I said, it’s one of the highlights of doing this job. Alright, well, here are your room keys!” Cassandra grinned, passing the key cards and room information over the concierge desk and handing them to you and Javi. “If you head over to your right, there’s a bay of elevators that will take you to your room. I hope that you two have a wonderful stay, and enjoy your honeymoon!” 

“Thank you again, we really appreciate it.” Javi nodded, stuffing things into his pocket before leaning down to give you a kiss and reaching back to grab his suitcase and your hand in his. 

As Javi turned, leading the two of you towards the elevator, you couldn’t help but laugh at Cassandra’s face, her eyebrow playfully raised and head nodding in approval, pointing at Javi and giving you a thumbs up, as if you needed more confirmation that you had made a top-tier choice on the man you were going to spend the rest of your life with. 

“What’s so funny?” Javi smirked, tilting his head in confusion at your giggles as the two of you stepped into the elevator with the small crowd of people on their way back to their hotel rooms. 

“Nothing. Just some reassurance that I cleaned up pretty damn well in the husband department, which I can’t say I disagree with.” You snickered, reaching up to wrap your hand around his jaw, squeezing his cheeks in your grasp. 

“You’re such a dork, you know that?” 

“A dork who is now your wife, thank you very much.” You sassed, crossing your arms over your chest, making the two of you laugh quietly to yourselves until the ding of the elevator caught your attention. “Oh! I think this is us!” Quickly scrambling to grab your suitcase, you dashed out of the elevator as the doors parted, followed by Javi, trying to keep up with your excited pace. 

“Alright, Mrs. Dork, we’re room 2331.” Javi grinned, pulling the information from the front desk out of his pocket, scanning the hallway for rooms approaching your number, watching you search in front of him with detective-like accuracy. 

“Okay, let’s see, 2329… 2330… Here! Here it is! 2331!” You beamed, showing off the number of your room Vanna White style to Javi as he began to slip the room key into the card reader, pausing for a moment to stare at you with his sweet brown eyes in the midst of your goofiness. “What’s that look for?” You teased, smiling back at him. 

“Just reminding myself of how lucky I am. I love you, Mrs. Peña.” 

Mrs. Peña. 

You couldn’t help but let your heart skip a beat at the sound of him saying it, still not quite sure that the incredible reality of your new last name had completely sunk in with you yet. 

“I love you too, Mr. Peña. Now, you gonna open this door so we can put this room to use or what?” You smirked, raising your eyebrow at him playfully, gesturing towards your hotel room door. 

With a quick swipe of your room key the two of you unlocked your door to get a first glimpse of your hotel room. At first, the both of you were convinced you must have been in the wrong place, because this was the most beautiful, luxurious hotel room that you had ever laid eyes on. Complete with a giant king bed covered in fresh white sheets, free standing tub, huge couch and living room area, newly renovated, and most impressively, a huge set of sliding glass doors that lead to your balcony overlooking a breath-taking view of the beach and ocean below you. 

Mental note to self- you owed Cassandra at the big desk the biggest thank you ever. 

“Holy shit, Javi. This is gorgeous.” You muttered to yourself, dropping your bags off at one of the closets at the front of the room as you began to wander and explore, gently poking and prodding around as if you were a tourist in a museum, rather than a hotel guest in your own room. 

“It’s got no lack of options, that’s for sure.” Javi laughed quietly to himself, following behind you as he set down his own bags before doing an investigation of his own, the majority of which was spent watching you excitedly explore the in’s and outs of your new home for the next 10 days. 

“No lack of options?” You asked, tilting your head in confusion, as you turned towards Javi, hands resting on his hips with a smug grin spread from ear to ear. 

“Mmmhmmm.” He replied, making his way towards you until his hands were wrapped around your waist, pulling you against his chest to force your gaze up at his brown eyes, pooling with an equal combination of excitement and mischief. “No lack of options in this room for places I get to fuck my beautiful wife.” 

“You’re so bad!” You teased, giving him a little slap to his chest as the two of you laughed, knowing that you had the exact same thought, he was just the first to say it. 

“Oh c’mon, like you didn’t think the same thing.” 

“Okay listen… you’re not wrong. I would be a liar if I didn’t walk in here and think about how many different furniture choices we could fuck on before we had to leave.” You sighed in a playful defeat, your breaths slowly transforming to light and giggly to low and needy as Javi slid his hands resting on your hips down to your ass, palming it in his grasp. 

Craning his head down to rest in the crook of your neck, you couldn’t help but moan as he sucked at your pulse point, wet kisses consuming your neck and jawline as a damp patch began to pool in your underwear, falling apart under Javi’s touch. 

“Well if that’s the case, what should we break in first, Osita? What does mi esposa (my wife) want? ” Javi hummed, slipping his hands under the waistband of your shorts and underwear, pushing them over your hips and down your legs until they pooled around your ankles, leaving your bottom half bare. 

Snaking his hand between your bodies, you whimpered as his fingers ghosted over your core, grazing over your clit with just enough pressure to make you shutter in anticipation, feeling the slick of your arousal beginning to coat your thighs with want and need. 

“F-fuck-” You stammered, trying to string together anything that resembled a coherent thought, “The b-bed. Fuck me on the bed, baby, please.” 

Without another word, Javi had scooped you up under your thighs, forcing your legs to lock around his waist as he carried you toward the bed, mouths crashing together in a hungry mess of tongues and teeth. 

Javi set you down, gently laying your back on the bed just enough to let your lower half hang off the edge so he could make a home between your legs, draping each one over his shoulders and pushing them open further to reveal the wet, puffy mess in between your thighs. 

You should have been embarrassed with how worked up you already were from a few kisses and some ass grabbing, but with how excited you were to be here with your husband, without a worry in the world besides how many times you could disrespect your hotel room before you had to leave, you had no shame in how you were already dripping with anticipation as Javi’s eyes locked on your core. 

“Fuck, she’s so pretty.” Javi cooed, admiring the glistening sheen of your slick covering your folds, planting gentle kisses along the soft skin of your thighs, creeping closer and closer to your center. You sat up on your elbows to watch as Javi’s fingers lazily traced your cunt, collecting your arousal, rubbing with just enough pressure to make your clit throb even harder than it already had been. “Always so wet for me, Hermosa. My perfect wife. Fuck, I still can’t believe you’re all mine forever.” 

“Forever.” You whimpered, breath hitching in the back of your throat as Javi’s tongue dragged across your core with a broad, flat stroke, looking up at you with those devastatingly sweet, chocolate brown eyes, pulling off you with the look you knew all too well meant you were absolutely a goner. 

“Tastes so fucking sweet, baby.” Javi hummed, carefully bringing two fingers to your core, sinking them inside your weeping hole to prod steadily against your g-spot 

“Oh my god, fuck-” You whimpered, Javi working at a painstakingly slow pace that still had you writhing under his touch, his mouth and fingers moving in the perfect combination of pressure to already have a tingle beginning to build at the base of your spine despite the fact he had just started eating you out. 

Your jaw went slack as his digits prodded faster, his tongue swirling and flicking against your sensitive bundle of nerves, ragged moans and whimpers escaping from your lips, growing louder and more wonton by the second. 

“That’s my girl.” Javi cooed, pulling off you just enough to catch your attention, his fingers never faltering in pace, “Fuck, I could listen to you like this all day, Osita. All the pretty noises my wife makes just for me. C’mon, baby. You want everyone here to know who makes you feel this good, huh? Tell them, sweet girl, who makes you feel this good?” 

“Y-you, Javi, fuck- You do, baby.” You moaned, feeling your pussy begin to flutter around Javi’s fingers as his smug smirk pressed back against your cunt, now sucking at your clit with a ferocious switch intensity he knew would send you over the edge in an instant. 

Squeezing Javi’s head between your thighs, you cried out louder, chanting his name like a prayer with each second you grew closer and closer to your end, feeling arousal creeping through your body at a rapid rate. 

“Javi, Javi, fuck- Oh, baby, Javi, I’m gonna- gonnaahhhhhhh-” 

In an instant, your orgasm crashed through you, filling you with all consuming pleasure that had you seeing stars, sobbing out as your cunt clamped down around Javi’s fingers that were pulsing inside you through your high. 

At this point, you were probably close to suffocating your poor husband, but it was his own damn fault for knowing how to make you cum so hard, your soul just about left your body. 

Finally regaining enough inhibition, you let your legs fall open, freeing Javi from the thigh prison he had trapped himself in, still smirking with delight despite his red face and shortness of breath. 

“Jesus Christ, Osita.” He laughed, standing up as he began to shed his clothes, tossing his shirt and shorts in a crumpled pile on the floor, followed by his already tented and stained boxers, revealing his painfully hard cock, slapping against his stomach and bobbing between his legs as it was freed. “You tryin’ to kill me, baby?” 

“I could ask you the same thing.” You huffed, chest still rising and falling with heavy breaths as you came down from your high. “Sorry, not my fault you make me cum so hard I put you in a headlock between my legs.” 

You and Javi both couldn’t help but laugh as he helped you slide further up the bed, crawling over you and caging you under his broad body, peppering every inch of your body with kisses and intentionally tickling you with his mustache in all the places he knew made you giggle the most. 

“If I die between my wife’s thighs buried face deep in her pussy, I’d die a happy man.” 

“Well I have no plans on intentionally murdering you on this trip, so count yourself safe this time, Peña.” 

“Baby, I’m convinced you’re just trying to kill me slowly this entire trip, considering you have nothing packed in your suitcase besides bikinis and sundresses.” Javi sighed, arms planted around your head as he laid overtop of you, kissing up your collarbone and neck, all the way up your jawline. 

“Javier Peña, we are literally on a tropical vacation to the Bahamas. Would you have liked me to pack, a parka and snow pants?” You teased, breath hitching in the back of your throat between giggles, trying to maintain your composure between the wet, hot kisses, Javi was planting across your skin. 

“No,” He grumbled, “You’re the hottest woman I’ve ever fucking met, baby, you don’t think people aren’t staring at you everywhere you go? I can’t fucking blame ‘em, but they better notice that ring on your finger and know you’re off limits.” 

Heat crept through your cheeks, butterflies swirling in your stomach from what he had said, picking up on the notion behind his thoughts. Javi wasn’t a jealous man, but fuck, was he a protective one, and God help any man who tried to knowingly make a move on you while he was around. 

He wanted everyone to know you were his, and you just as badly wanted everyone to know he was yours. 

“Maybe just the ring isn’t enough, baby.” He smirked, nipping and tugging at your skin with his teeth as he snaked his hand between your bodies to stroke himself and line his cock up with your entrance. “‘Cause you know what else isn’t in your suitcase?” 

Your birth control. 

You didn’t have to say a word to know exactly what Javi meant, your face swelling with a mixture of excitement and want. 

“Javi, oh fuck-” You moaned, cut off by the sweet sting of Javi pushing into you, filling you up with every inch of himself until he had bottomed out, stalling for a moment to let you adjust to his fullness before slowly dragging his cock in and out of your cunt. 

“Maybe,” he groaned, biting down on his lip at just how good you felt around him, warmth and wetness coating his length with each stroke, “Maybe that ring on your finger isn’t enough, Ostia. Maybe once they see you pregnant with our baby growing inside you, they’ll know you’re mine.” 

It never failed to amaze you just how Javi knew how to make you short circuit with words alone, hoping the entire resort didn’t hear the absolutely pathetic whimper you let out at the idea of finally carrying his baby, showing off your family to the world, and the man who had given it to you.  

“Fuck, knock me up Javi. Wanna- wanna make you a daddy.” You whined, wrapping your arm up around his neck, running your fingers through his dark and sweaty curls, tugging him closer to you until your mouths were molded in a messy clash of tongues and teeth. 

“Christ- Yeah, baby girl? Fuck, I’ll give you whatever you want. I’ll fuck myself so deep inside you, it’s got no choice but to fuckin’ take. Keep you stuffed with my cum every day until it sticks.” Javi groaned, gritting his teeth as he grabbed the backs of your thighs, pushing them to your chest and pulling you closer to him so your back began to arch, giving himself the perfect angle to split you open and keep every last drop inside of you. 

You could feel every inch of Javi filling you, perfectly punching against that soft, spongy spot inside your cunt with each thrust, keeping your thighs still pressed against your chest as the lower half of your legs wrapped around the small of Javi’s back, ankles locking together to keep him as close and deep inside you as you could. 

“Dámelo, papi.” You cooed, wicked smile stretched from ear to ear watching Javi physically having to stop himself to let out a strangled groan, clenching his jaw and scrunching his face to keep from busting right then and there.  

“Jesus, fuck-” Javi grunted, finally gaining enough composure to open his eyes and look back down at you beneath him, smugly smirking, “That’s how this is gonna go, huh?"

The chocolate brown of Javi’s eyes began to darken with lust, dragging his cock out and ramming into you so deeply, a pathetic whimper fell from your lips, nearly knocking the wind out of your chest feeling him practically in your stomach. Your whimpers quickly turned to sobs as he did it again, slowly dragging his length out of your wet, warm walls before pounding back in to you with a blinding intensity. 

Leaning down, Javi grabbed your arms, pushing them outstretched above your head until your wrists were crossed over each other and Javi had them both in his firm grasp, pinning you to the bed with the weight of his body and grip. It was like something feral had ignited inside him, brow furrowed and teeth gritted with a laser focus, snapping his hips to thrust himself deeper and harder, melting you to a helpless puddle beneath him, your cries of pleasure and desperation only egging him on more. 

“You want me to fill you up, baby? Then you’re gonna be a good girl and take every last fucking drop. Every. Last. One.” He huffed, syncing his words to each thrust, keeping a bruising grip over your wrists with one hand, and digging his fingertips into the meat of your hips with his other. “Tell me what you’re gonna do for me, baby girl. Tell me whose pussy this is.” 

“It’s yours, Javi. Fuck, fuck, fuck- it’s yours, baby! I- oh shit- I promise I’ll be a good girl and take it all. Want you to fill me up, Papi.” You sobbed, arousal seeping through your veins as Javi’s cock punched against your g-spot over and over, each stroke faster and more intense, blinding your body with pleasure. 

Your hotel room was drenched in the borderline pornographic sounds of skin slapping against skin, wet squelching of your pussy squeezing Javi’s cock tighter and tighter as you could feel the coil beginning to tighten in your stomach, crying out without any inhibition for your volume, Javi grunting and panting with equal intensity. 

“That’s my girl. You gonna let everyone hear who this pussy belongs to? Let everyone know that I’m gonna fill you up and get you pregnant?” Javi mewled, watching the way your eyes were nearly rolling in the back of your head, snaking his hand gripping your hip down between your bodies to rub firm and frantic circles around your clit to help push you over the edge knowing how close you were. 

As soon as the calloused pads of Javi’s fingers were pressed against your sensitive nub, you were seconds away from the brink of collapse, cunt clamping tighter and tighter around Javi’s cock, choking it with your velvety walls. 

“Yes, yes, yes, fuck, fuck, I’m so close baby. Don’t stop, don’t stop, please, fuckfuckfuckfuck!” 

Instantly, your orgasm crashed through your body, blinding white heat flooding your vision, pleasure shooting through every inch of you to the point you felt like you had left your own body. You could feel your body going limp beneath Javi, knowing he wasn’t far behind you given all his tell tale signs as you soaked his length with your arousal. 

Javi’s thrusts had forgone any type of rhythm, now sloppy and erratic, his balls tightening and tensing in his stomach, babbling and moaning in your ear, whispering sweet nothings before he found himself in the same state of you. 

“That’s it, hermosa. Cum all over my cock. Cum all over me before I fill up this tight little pussy so full it’s got no choice but to take. Oh fuck- Fuck, can’t wait to get you pregnant. See you carrying our baby. Gonna make you the prettiest fucking Momma-ahhhhhhh, fuck!” 

With one final stutter of his hips, Javi was painting the inside of your cunt with thick, warm ropes of his spend, keeping himself flushed as tight as he could to your pelvis, making sure a single drop didn’t escape as he plugged you with his cock, cumming so hard he couldn’t help but whimper. The weight of his body slumped on top of you, syncing your heavy breaths, the sticky and sweaty sheen of your chests pressed together as Javi planted a slow and sensual kiss on your lips, swallowing your moans in his mouth. 

“Holy fuck.” You half whispered to yourself, letting out a bliss-filled giggle.

“Jesus Fucking Christ.” Javi panted, quietly laughing along with you, gently brushing the damp and wild strands of your hair out of your face, “Fuck- You gotta be careful with that “Papi” shit, Osita.” 

“Oh yeah? And why would that be?” You teased, smirking as you raised an eyebrow at him and bit down on your lip, knowing damn well why. 

“Because if you keep that up, I don’t think we’re ever leaving this room.” 

After dinner and giving a few more pieces of furniture in your hotel room a good test run, the two of you had happily called it a night on day one of your honeymoon, eager to explore the rest of the resort as the two of you rose with the golden rays of the sun beaming over the horizon of your ocean view window, flooding your room with warm and welcoming sunlight. 

As much as the both of you were convinced you could have easily spent the next 10 days without leaving your hotel room, you made a pact that you would spend some time going to explore the rest of the resort after spending some much deserved post-wedding de-stressing in the sun by the pool, drinking as many mojitos and frozen daiquiris as you could stomach. 

And as amazing as non-stop sex with Javi would have been, soaking up in the sun poolside with a drink on one side of you and a shirtless husband on the other, you’d say that this was a pretty close second. 

“Another one?” Javi smirked, eyebrows raised at you as his brown eyes peeked over the edge of his aviators, gesturing at your nearly empty glass. 

“I mean… if you’re offering.” You giggled, tipsy after a few drinks and hours baking in the sun, happily holding out the remainder of your mojito for Javi to exchange for a new one. 

“I think the bartender and I are about to be on a first name basis pretty soon.” Javi laughed, shuffling out of his beach chair, grabbing his empty cup along with yours to bring back with him to the poolside bar that had been visited a questionable amount of times by the two of you since you had gotten to the pool this morning. 

“Yeah? Are you gonna tell the bartender the frozen strawberry margaritas you’ve been getting from him all day are for you and not for your wife?” You teased, pulling your sunglasses down to look at Javi, playfully rolling his eyes back at you. 

“Shut up. They’re fucking addicting. You had one, can you blame me?” 

“I’m just giving you a hard time, Mr. I Won’t Drink Anything But Beer and Whiskey. Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me. Although, I’m sure Steve would get a kick out of knowing you’ve downed like, 7 of these since we’ve gotten here.” 

Setting down both of the drinks, you found yourself in a fit of squeals and giggles as Javi reached down to scoop you up out of your chair, carrying you bridal style to the edge of the pool before jumping in with the both of you, the refreshing cool of the pool water crashing over you as your bodies bobbed under the surface. 

“Pendejo!” You laughed, splashing Javi as your heads peered above the edge of the water, Javi shaking his hair, damp and clinging to his forehead from your added assault, grabbing you by the waist before you could go any further, shifting you to wrap your legs around him as he held you, childishly swaying you through the water. 

“Te amo, esposa.” (I love you, wife) Javi teased in a mocking tone, responding to your name calling. 

“Joke’s on you, because I wanted to get into the pool anyways. You’re lucky you’re handsome. Mojito me, Peña.” You splashed again, rolling your eyes at his over exaggerated kiss before he swam away, shooting you a wink while he waded his way to the poolside bar. 

It wasn’t long before Javi was making his way back, a drink in each hand, happily handing you your mojito as he got to the edge of the pool where you were sitting, lifting himself up to sit beside you and take a swig of his margarita. 

“Miss me?” He smirked, raising his eyebrows at you. 

“Terribly. Most agonizing 6 minutes of my entire life.” You teased, playing into the dramatics as Javi picked up your left hand, admiring the diamond ring and wedding band adorned on your finger before gently kissing it. 

“Sorry to keep my wife waiting. I hope that you’ll accept this mojito as a token of my apology.” 

“I think that’s a fair enough compromise.” 

After a few more hours and several drinks later, it was safe to say that you and Javi had definitely both been in better states than you currently were, too far gone to care about the potential consequences of tomorrow’s hangover to stop yourselves. 

“What time do you think it is?” You asked, sunkissed body sprawled out across the pool chair. 

“Wife O’Clock.” Javi answered, snickering to himself at his answer. 

“Javier Peña, that’s not a real time, you dork.” 

“Half past mojito. A quarter ‘til my next margarita.” 

“Jesus Christ….” You paused, one of the life guards crossing behind you catching your attention, “Hey, excuse me! Do you know what time it is?” 

“Uhhhhh, looks like it’s almost 6!” The lifeguard replied, looking down at his watch before continuing on his path. 

“6?! Oh shit!” You gasped, sitting up straight in your chair. 

“What? What’s happening at 6?!” Javi inquired, seemingly less concerned with whatever was supposed to be happening then that had you so riled up. 

“Javi, we're supposed to be at dinner right now! We made reservations at that italian place, remember?!” You grimaced, frantically starting to grab the towels and clothes you had scattered around the pool deck. 

“Oh fuck! Shit, uh- okay, here, lemme help you!” Javi joined in on the gathering of any item that belonged to you that he could find, tossing it into the bag you had brought down with you, hoping that you didn’t forget anything that had come with you to the pool. 

While the haphazard gathering of items was a good enough sign to any onlooker that you and Javi were more than likely intoxicated, the both of you didn’t realized just how drunk you were until you both tried to stand up out of your beach chairs, grabbing on to each other in a wobbly dance of giggles.  

“Woah, I think I drank a little lotta margaritas.” Javi stammered, laughing to himself. 

“Fuck, I did too. Jesus, how many do you think we had?” You giggled, face scrunching in anticipation of the number that was definitely going to be higher than you had intended when you came to the pool this morning. 

You could see Javi trying to drunkenly calculate his trips to the pool bar in his head, counting across his fingers in a serious concentration, tongue sticking out of his mouth, as if it was going to help him focus better. 

“Let’s see, I think after adding them all up… We drank a lot.” 

“If we can’t even come up with a number, that’s not good. Fuck, I didn’t even bring real clothes! Our room is so far from the restaurant, there’s no way we’re even gonna be close to making it!” You pouted, shrugging your shoulders in defeat. 

“Just put on the cute little dressy thingy over your bathing suit. Or just go in your bikini. You’re so hot they have to let you in.” Javi smirked, biting down on his lip as he looked you up and down, giving you his best drunken attempt at his bedroom eyes. 

“Unfortunately for you, I don’t think the other patrons of this resort want to watch me eat pasta half naked, ya sicko.” You teased, giving him a nudge to his stomach a little harder than you had intended. “Okay, cover up will have to do, I guess. Do you have your shirt?” 

“You don’t wanna watch me eat pasta half naked?” 

“As much as I’d love to, maybe another time, weirdo. Okay, we have to go! Or else we’re not getting any pasta, naked or not! Focus, Peña, focus!” You commanded in your best pretend stern voice, grabbing the rest of your things in your hands while Javi stood there, admiring you like the drunken, lovesick fool he was. 

“You’re so fucking sexy when you’re bossy.” Javi smirked, raising his eyebrows at you, “Okay, fine, fine fine, let’s go. Lead the way, Mrs. Peña.” 

If you didn’t feel drunk enough after simply trying just to stand up out of your pool chairs and collect all your belongings within a 5 foot radius of you, you sure as hell did trying to drunkenly navigate the resort to find the restaurant you were looking for. After asking several employees, you somehow managed to stumble your way through the hotel to find your intended location, “Ciao!” , one of the higher-end dining experiences the two of you had planned for your vacation. 

“Hi. We are married, and we are here to eat pasta.” Javi proclaimed to the hostess at the front of the restaurant, who was looking back and forth between you and Javi, riddled with confusion not only by Javi’s opening statement, but from the fact the two of you were nearly out of breath from running around every inch of the resort, clearly drunk, and still dressed in your swimsuits. 

“Ummmm, okay? What’s the name on the reservation?” The hostess asked hesitantly, flipping through the pages of names and times written down for seating tonight. 

“Peña. We were supposed to be here at 6 but we had a lil too much fun at the pool, but not enough fun that we completely forgot about dinner! We’re really sorry!” You explained, trying your best to keep your composure, biting your tongue to subdue your drunken giggles. 

“Yeah, like, so sorry. I had a lot of margaritas today.” Javi added, turning his head to let out a little burp at the end of his sentence. 

“I don’t see any Peña’s on the reservation for tonight….” The hostess sighed, flipping back and forth between today’s pages, clearly not amused by either of your antics. 

“Oh no… Does that mean we’re not getting pasta? Shit.” Javi pouted, crossing his arms over his chest like a little boy. 

“Oh wait, are- are you sure it was a reservation for today? I see Peña on here at 6 for tomorrow?” 

“Oh shit…” You and Javi replied, nearly in sync, visibly grimacing at the fact that you had spent the past 45 minutes in an alcohol induced frenzy, running through the resort to find a restaurant you weren’t even supposed to eat at until tomorrow. 

Whoops. 

“My bad….” You shrugged, sheepishly frowning as you looked back and forth between the hostess and Javi, “Okay, well, um, we’re gonna- We’re gonna go then.” You winced, grabbing Javi by the hand to slowly drag him away from the restaurant, hoping that the physical distance would somehow spare you the embarrassment you had just subjected yourself to. 

“You’re fine, just- We do ask that our guests wear more, um- appropriate attire when they come to dine with us.” The hostess scoffed, huffing at you and Javi, looking you up and down with your beach bound outfits and hands full of pool accessories as you continued to back away. 

“She doesn’t wanna see us eat pasta in our bathing suits?” Javi whispered in your ear, making you snort so loud it almost hurt your chest, trying to keep from bursting into full blown laughter before making it out of eye and earshot of the hostess, jabbing him in the stomach with your elbow, only spurring him on further, “She doesn’t know how sexy you’d look shoving a fist full of garlic bread down your throat with nothing on but a bikini? Her loss.” 

Now out of sight of the restaurant, you and Javi exploded into an obnoxious fit of drunken giggles, feeling completely idiotic for wasting nearly the last hour of your night in a whirlwind journey to nowhere. 

“Well, looks like no pasta for dinner tonight.” You sighed, playfully throwing up your hands in defeat. “I am starting to get really hungry though… Like too hungry to go back up to the room and change and then come back down and wait at a restaurant for more food.” 

“Yeah, shit, I’m really hungry too… Wait!” Javi paused, his face lighting up with excitement. 

“What, Jav?” 

“Didn’t we pass a pizza place on the way up to the room when we first got here? 

The grin on your face was now equally as wide, almost certain that you and Javi were having the same drunk recollection. 

“I knew there was a good reason I married you.” 

Somehow or another, you had not only managed to find your way to “Papa’s Pizzeria”, you had managed to successfully order an extra large pizza for the two of you to split, and make it back to the room without any pizza casualties on the way. 

Even a drunken you couldn’t help but realize how lucky she was to have married a man like Javi, and not just because of his excellent memory for pizza restaurants- What you had been through in the past hour and a half could have easily sent any other couple into an ugly spiral of arguments and blame they’d cast upon each other for “ruining” the rest of their night. 

You’d been witness to so many relationships and marriages where couples barely managed to genuinely enjoy each other’s company, let alone have fun together. Cohabitation drenched in resentment and unhappiness towards each other, forced proximity the only thing keeping them together.  

You were positive that there would never be enough “thank you’s” that you could send out into the universe for letting you marry your best friend. 

Because what would have been a soiled evening for so many others, was quickly turning out to be a better night than you could have ever imagined, plans tossed out the window to sit cross legged in your king sized bed together, bodies draped in fluffy hotel robes as you mowed down on slices of pepperoni pizza, giggling over shared, drunken secrets with your favorite person in the world. 

“Okay, your turn now.” You snickered, shoving another bite of lukewarm pizza into your mouth, giving Javi a playful shove into the sea of pillows at the head of your bed. 

“I just went!” He protested, trying to talk through the mess of cheese, sauce and crust he was still chewing. 

“Nuh uh! I just did, remember? We got off topic because we started talking about the Farrah Fawsect poster you had in your room that your mom made you take down, but you were the one who asked me about who my first celebrity crush was, remember?” You insisted, pointing your half bitten piece of pizza at him, forcing him to hold up his hands in defeat. 

“Okay, okay! Can’t blame me for forgetting after thinking about that poster, though.” Javi shrugged, smirking at the thought of his 12 year old self gawking at the beautiful blonde actress hanging above his bed, “Shit…. Gimmie a second, let me think.” 

“I’ve given you plenty of seconds, goofball! Like all the seconds I spared you thinking about Farrah.” 

“Shut up. Okay,” he paused, taking another bite of pizza, “who was your first kiss?” 

“Really? Why, you gonna go hunt him down?” You snorted, feeling like you were gossiping with your teenage best friend at a sleepover rather than with your husband, Javi laughing along with you as he shook his head, “It was Jack Mullins in the 7th grade.” 

“Okay, and?” Javi prodded, smirking as he interrogated you for more information. 

“It was at a Halloween Party my friend Sarah had at her house. I’m pretty sure we were playing truth or dare, and all my friends knew I had a massive crush on him because he was the cutest boy in the 7th grade. So they dared me to kiss him and I did it. It was so awkward, and I had no idea what I was doing. Pretty sure we kissed while the “The Monster Mash” was playing, too. I was so embarrassed after that I cried in the bathroom and then walked home and didn’t even say goodbye to anyone. Didn’t ever think I’d speak to him again and he ended up being my date to prom.” 

“Wow. That was a way better story than I was expecting to get. “The Monster Mash”? Truth or Dare?” Javi chuckled as your cheeks turned red, watching your eyes at his enjoyment of your story. 

“Okay, I was 12 Javi, some of us were weird, awkward teenagers. I’m sure that you were very easily the Jack Mullins of your middle school and had girls at the door lining up to kiss you.” You rebutted, having seen plenty of pictures of teenage Javi, thanks to Chucho, knowing whatever awkward phase he went through was only a fraction of your pre-teen pain. 

“No, I wasn’t. I was a pretty shy kid. All my friends had their first kiss way before I did.”  Javi shrugged, now sounding slightly more embarrassed. 

“Okay, so what? They were 12 and you were 13? I don’t believe it. I would have had the biggest crush on you in middle school.” 

“I’m being serious!”  

C’mon, Javi, if I’m telling you about my Monster Mash kiss, I get to hear about yours!” You insisted, giving him the biggest fake pout that you could muster until he gave in. 

“I- I was 16 when I had my first kiss.” 

“You’re joking.” 

“Why would I joke about that?” 

“16?!” 

“Osita, you’re making it sound like I was 72 when I had my first kiss, not 16.” 

“Considering how cute you were, yeah, I am! Okay, spill! Now I need to know!” 

“I’m telling you, I was a shy kid. Didn’t really come out of my shell until 10th grade when I started doing swimming. There was a girl on the team I always thought was really cute, but I was too chicken shit to do anything about it. All my friends had girlfriends and dates to go to homecoming with, and I didn’t have anyone, so they forced me to ask her. She turned me down, told me she already had a date. I was devastated. Went to a party with the team after, got drunk for the first time because I was so upset, and ended up kissing my friend’s older sister, Katie. Made out in the laundry room in the basement for the rest of the night. My friend found us after he realized we both had gone missing and ended up punching me in the face and almost breaking my nose.” 

“Holy shit. That’s a way better story than mine.” You gawked, eyes going wide at the turn Javi’s story had taken. 

“I wouldn’t say way better, just stupid.” Javi huffed, “You do dumb things when you’re young.” 

“Well, you must have been a pretty good kisser even back then if she made out with you for an hour. Honestly, would have been dumb if she didn’t make out with you, in my humble opinion.” You giggled, scooting closer to Javi as you snuggled into his lap, resting your head on his outstretched thigh and letting out a big yawn. Resting his hand on your back, Javi pulled you closer, running his fingers through the sun kissed ends of your messy hair, smiling at all the tell tale signs sleep was beginning to creep through your body and the way you snuggled up next to him. 

“Okay, one last question because all these mojitos are catching up to me and I’m getting sleepy.” You mumbled, feeling your eyelids begin to droop as you curled up in the warmth of his body, comfort flooding over you from Javi’s presence. 

“Okay, hermosa. Your turn.” Javi cooed, his voice softening to match your sleepy tone, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. 

“If you could change anything about your life, anything you want, what would it be?” 

Javi paused for a moment, his fingers still daintily stroking across your hair and back as he thought. Truthfully, there were plenty of things he wished he could change about his past. It would take him less than a minute to come up with a list longer than most people could muster in a lifetime. He had wasted so many years of his life, bitter and remorseful about the things he had done, condemning himself to suffer the consequences of his actions. And yet, somehow, despite all of the things he could have said, out of all the painful things he wished he could go back in time to change, there was one answer that prevailed above all the rest, an answer that couldn’t have been easier to choose.  

“I wish there was a world where I would have met you sooner. That I would have gotten to love you just a little longer.” 

He waited for your response, settling into the silence until it was broken by one of your soft snores humming against his thigh, signaling to him you were sound asleep in his lap, not having heard a word you said. He laughed softly to himself, remembering the first night he had stayed at your apartment, and how it had ended just like this, conversation flowing until the early hours of the morning until you couldn’t fight sleep any longer, eyelids shutting as you fell asleep in his arms. How he watched you gently drift to dreaming, wondering if he was, too. That somehow, some way, the world had managed to bring the two of you together. And even if he wished he would have gotten more time to love you before you’d met, Javi knew that he’d be forever grateful for every minute he had left with you. 

Despite the raging hangover the two of you had the next morning after you woke up from your alcohol and pizza induced coma, the rest of your honeymoon had been some of the most fun that the two of you had had in years. You’d spent multiple days at the pool, soaking up sun on the beach and swimming in the ocean, eaten so much delicious food you were convinced you were going to combust, drank more mojitos than you’d like to admit, and had even gone snorkeling on a tour through some of the islands outside your resort. 

You also had been having so much sex, you were starting to feel bad for the rooms on either side of you. 

Everything about your honeymoon had been everything you’d ever hoped for and more, but with only one full day left of your vacation, you couldn’t help but feel a little sad that your perfect trip to tropical paradise was coming to a close. 

“What’s that look for, porbrecita?” Javi laughed, sneaking up behind you on the edge of the balcony, watching you watch the sunrise with your cheeks propped up in your palms, pouting at the way bright pinks and oranges were greeting the sky. Standing behind you, he snaked his arms around your front so he could bring your back to his chest, kissing the top of your head while his arms settled around your middle. 

“I don’t want our honeymoon to end.” You sighed, craning your neck just enough to look at Javi over your shoulder, “I’m sad it’s gonna be over.” 

“I know, mi amor, me too.” He softly chuckled, planting a long kiss on your cheek, the whiskers of his mustache making you giggle, “But what if I told you I have one more surprise for us before we go home tomorrow?” 

This made you swing all the way around, now chest to chest with Javi as you looked up at him in confusion, “What? I thought we were spending our last day on the beach just hanging out?” 

“Well we are, but what if I told you I rented one of those fancy cabanas at the end of the beach for us to use to celebrate our last day here?” Javi smirked, watching your face light up at his proposition. 

“Wait, actually?” 

“Yes, actually.” 

“But aren’t they like, super expensive to rent for the day?” 

“I mean… they’re not that expensive.” 

“Okay, the pause tells me that you spent way more money than you needed to on this, Jav.” 

“And what if it was? I’m not allowed to wanna spoil my wife on our honeymoon?” Javi grinned, gently cupping your face and playfully shaking it, making you laugh again. 

“Your wife doesn’t need to be spoiled, just getting to be here with you is more than enough.” You paused, giving Javi a little nudge as he dramatically rolled his eyes at you, chuckling to himself, “What, you goof?” 

“I hope you know that because you’re my wife, I’m planning on spending the rest of my life spoiling you, whether you like it or not. I’d give you the fucking moon if I could, Osita.” 

“Well lucky for you, a day at a beach cabana will do just fine.” 

While you never would have asked Javi to purposely spend extra money on things you really didn’t need to make your trip any more special than it already was, you couldn’t deny that spending the day in your own private cove of the beach in a luxurious cabana with food and drinks being served to you at your request wasn’t a bad way to spend the last day of your honeymoon. 

The daybeds in the cabana had made a perfect place for a shady, mid day nap for the both of you, lazily waking up from the soft kiss Javi had planted on your shoulder, exposed from your bikini top, freckled and sunkissed from days in the tropics. 

“I’m gonna go for a swim, Hermosa. Be back in a sec.” Javi cooed, gently stirring you from your catnap. 

“Mmmmmmkay.” You smiled, flipping over for another kiss on the lips before Javi slipped out from the flaps of your tent, softly blowing in the breeze. You sat up on your lounger, the sight of Javi in nothing but his bathing suit waking you from your brief sleep in a matter of moments. 

Even though you had seen Javi in nothing but bathing suits for the past 9 days, you were convinced it was a sight you’d never find yourself getting over. There was no doubt that you had always found him incredibly attractive, but something about this trip had skyrocketed him to another level of sexy you didn’t even know was attainable. You weren’t sure if it was the unbuttoned floral shirts, excessive time spent shirtless, his messy and wet beach hair, or just the fact that now you got to call him your husband- truthfully, it was most likely a combination of all of the above. 

You perked up, pulling back the fabric door of the cabana enough to watch Javi’s arms stroke through the ocean, popping his head above water with a brief shake before he was shallow enough to touch the sandy bottom again. As he sauntered in from the ocean, you couldn’t help but admire the width of his shoulders and chest, glistening from the sun and salty water. You let your gaze travel down to his swim trunks, feeling your mouth water at the way they hugged his waist and crept up his thick thighs. With each step closer to shore, you couldn’t stop staring at the way his trunks were clinging to his lower half, perfectly outlining his generous length. 

Javi must have noticed the way you were staring at him by the subtle smirk that had broken out across his face as he approached the cabana, eyeing you up and down right back. 

“You have a good swim?” You asked, feeling your stomach swirl as you took in every inch of him, glowing in the sunlight. 

“Mhmm. Did you have fun watching me swim?” He teased, tongue tracing over his teeth while he raised his eyebrows, knowing damn well the effect he was having on you. 

“Maybe. What, I’m not allowed to enjoy the view? Not my fault my husband is so handsome.” Your smirk was almost as wide as his, biting down on your bottom lip as Javi entered the cabana, letting the flap to the entrance close behind him before caging your body under his on the lounge chair, trailing hot, wet, kisses across your chest and stomach. 

“Say it again.” He mewled, looking up at you with his big, brown eyes as his kisses trailed lower and lower, watching as he began to settle himself at the edge of the chair between your thighs. 

“My husband is so handsome. You’re so handsome, Javi.” You sighed, feeling the damp patch in your swimsuit bottoms growing, soaking the fabric with your slick and arousal. 

“You’re so fucking good to me. Fuck, I’m so lucky.” He groaned, slinging your thighs over his shoulders, eyes still locked on you while he began to tug at the strings of your bikini, leaving your bottom half bare. 

There was a part of you that knew you should be worried about someone catching the two of you, barely concealed by the flimsy confines of your cabana, but the part of you staring at your husband between your legs about to eat you out seemed a lot more convinced that this was the best idea Javi had all day. 

“You’re so fucking perfect. Everything about you. I’m the goddamn luckiest man alive, you know that baby?” 

Your response to his question was nothing but a ragged moan, feeling him draping his arm over your hips to hold you in place as he slid two fingers into your heat. He curled his hand to reach the spot inside you he knew made you crumble before diving back in between your legs, beginning to lick you up like a man starved.

His tongue swirled against your clit, the firmness of each stroke and the deep press of his fingers making you writhe under his touch, shooting your hand down to grab fistfulls of his damp, curly locks to brace yourself as he ate you out relentlessly.

“Oh my god, fuck, Javi. Fuck, you feel so good. Fuck-” 

You could feel him switching tactics, latching his lips around your sensitive nub, rapidly sucking at the throbbing bundle of nerves, working his fingers deeper in your cunt as he felt you begin to clench around him. 

“Fuck Javi, fuck, right there baby- fuck, I’m close.” Your fingers were buried so deep in his curls, tugging just enough to pull his face closer to you as you could feel your orgasm building at the base of your spine, desperate for him to give you your sweet release. 

His thick fingers bumped along your g-spot, curving them ever so slightly in the way he had memorized like the back of his hand to make you come undone. The tingle along your spine quickly spread down your legs, pleasure building rapidly throughout your body as you felt yourself on the edge of release. Lifting his arm off your waist, he reached up to grab your hand laying out on the lounge chair, engulfing it in his grasp as he intertwined his fingers with yours. 

“Dameló, (give it to me) sweet girl. Let go, baby, I’ve got you.” 

You could feel the pressure inside you snap, the tingling in your veins quickly transforming into full blown pleasure as your orgasm swept through you. You gushed around his hand, cunt clenching down on his fingers as you came, losing all sense of inhibitions as you cried out with a volume much louder than intended. 

But with Javi’s fingers still curled, prodding against your g-spot, you had a feeling those cries weren’t coming to a halt any time soon. It was only moments after your orgasm had finished he was already on a mission to give you another, tongue lapping up every ounce of your slick as it pressed against your clit. 

“Javi, holy shit, baby, oh fuck.” You whined, bucking your hips towards his face and arching your back as he circled around your bundle of nerves, your moans and whimpers only egging him on more. 

Even after all this time, there was a part of you that still couldn’t believe how fast Javi could make you cum. He had memorized every twitch, every tug of his hair, every breathy whisper to know what made you fall apart under his touch, loving every second of watching you come undone for him. 

You could already feel the tingling of your next orgasm beginning to creep up your legs and into your stomach as Javi sucked at your clit, greedy for him to help you hit your second high. 

“Please don’t stop, Javi. Fuck baby, fuck, fuck, I- ahhhhhhhhh.” That was all it took before you could feel the waves of pleasure rushing through your body again, your pussy throbbing as your orgasm flooded over you. 

Your legs were all but jello at this point, trembling around Javi’s head, still buried between them. Your last two orgasms had been so intense, you weren’t sure you could take a third, but with the way Javi knew your body, you also were convinced it would barely take anything for you to cum again. 

“J-Javi- fuck, baby, fuck I can’t-”   

“Gimme one more, Osita. C’mon, sweet girl. Wanna make my wife cum one more time.” You nodded, looking down at the shine of your arousal covering his smirk, knowing that at this point, you were so worked up and overstimulated that just the fingers already inside of you really were all you needed to give him your last orgasm. 

Javi’s fingers had already sunk so deep into your cunt, already so overly sensitive to every push and pull of his hand, that the grip you had on his hand had become so tight, you could feel your knuckles turning white. You cried out his name as it fell from your lips, babbling incoherently as the third rush of pleasure crashed over you, gushing onto Javi’s fingers.  

“That’s my good girl. My perfect fucking wife. I love you so much.” Javi carefully pulsed his fingers a few more times as he felt you clench around him, making you hiss as he withdrew his hand now soaked in your slick, bringing the digits to his fingers to suck them clean with a satisfied smirk. 

It was only moments before his sly grin had quickly shifted to full blown panic, you, still too blissed out to wonder why he was scrambling to throw a towel over your bottom half and one to hide the erection under his as he sat himself in the chair next to you. Thank god Javi still at least had an ounce of inhibition left to see the footsteps of the server who had been periodically checking in on you strolling their way through the sand under the edge of the cabana, saving you both from what could have been an incredible amount of embarrassment. 

“Hi, how are you two doing? Anything else I can get for you right now?” Your server asked, peeking his head in through the flaps to see you and Javi trying your best to act as natural as possible. 

“N-no, I’m good. You good, honey? Need anything?” Javi asked, looking over at you as his hand ran over the back of his neck, trying his best not to grimace at the awkward tension stewing between him, you and your poor, unsuspecting server. 

“You know what, I think I’m gonna have another drink.” 

“Alright! Another mojito for you, ma’am?” Your server asked, whipping out his pad of paper to note down your order. 

“No, can you make this next one a Sex on the Beach? That sounds really good.” 

It truly took everything in Javi not to burst out laughing, choking on his own spit at your perfectly timed order, shaking his head at you in a humorous disbelief. 

“Perfect, well I’ll be right back with your drink!” 

“Thank you so much!” 

Once your server had disappeared, you and Javi erupted in hyena like laughter, the combination of your joke and almost fatal timing throwing the two of you into a fit of giggles. 

“You’re fucking ridiculous, you know that?” Javi chuckled, looking over at you as he shook his head. 

“What? It’s our last day, figured we might as well have a little sex on the beach. The drink sounds like it’ll be good, too.” 

Your mid-afternoon flight had made for an easy morning to pack up and soak in the last little bit of your honeymoon. It had given you just enough time to enjoy your favorite breakfast place, and have one more of the best blueberry waffles you’d ever tasted before your last shower (and shower sex) to get ready for your departure home. 

While you were sad your vacation had come to an end, there was no denying that every last bit of your trip was absolutely perfect, and even more so that you got to spend it with the most perfect person you could think of. You were convinced you could have gone anywhere in the world for your honeymoon and you would have felt the same- in the end, it wasn’t the destination that mattered, it was the fact you got to spend it with your husband. 

The fact that you got to spend every vacation together for the rest of your lives only made it that much sweeter. 

While flying would never be enjoyable, you were thankful your trip home was fairly painless, granting Javi’s hand some grace, considering you didn’t feel the need to keep it in an iron grip for the two hours it took you to arrive back home. 

You were also thankful that it was Steve and Connie who had offered to pick you up from the airport instead of Chucho, sparing you and Javi the same sort of awkward embarrassment you had endured on the ride to start off your honeymoon. 

Well, it may not been the same kind of embarrassment that you had experienced with Javi’s dad, but it was foolish of you to think that Steve was letting you get away scott free. 

At least he had managed to get creative with it, making a greeting poster with “Welcome home, lovebirds!” on it to help you find him and Connie in the airport crowd, making Javi let out a sigh loud enough that Steve probably could have heard it from the tarmac. 

“Hey! There they are! Welcome home, Mr. and Mrs. Peña!” Steve grinned, pulling you and Javi in for a hug as you found him, Connie following suit with a much less dramatic greeting for the both of you afterwards. 

“How was the honeymoon? Did you guys have a great time?” Connie asked, offering to take one of your suitcases, nudging Steve to do the same. “ 

“It was really nice. It was everything we could have hoped for. The resort was beautiful, the food was great, and the weather was fantastic. It really was perfect.” You smiled, looking up at Javi, nodding in agreement, reaching out to wrap his arm over your shoulder. 

“Thanks again for picking us up.” Javi chimed in, the two of you now following along behind your friends as they began leading you through the airport towards their car. 

“Don’t mention it, Jav. Least we could do.” Steve replied, reaching out to give Javi a little punch to the arm. 

“We’re super excited to hear all about your trip!” Connie added, looking back at you and Javi with a genuine grin. 

“Excited to hear if I’m gonna make good on my bet…” Steve muttered, laughing under his breath. 

“Steve! Seriously? You promised in the car you weren’t gonna bring this up!” Connie huffed, giving her husband a slap to the chest, and a grimace that clearly was the silent way to ask “Will you please shut up?” 

“What?! I put good money on it, I’m confident!” 

“Wait, is this the same bet that Javi’s dad was talking about on the way here?” You asked, looking back and forth between Javi, Steve and Connie in confusion, perplexed as to what you and Javi had to do with whatever bet he and the Murphy’s were in on. 

“Go ahead, Steve! Why don’t you explain?” Connie scolded, hands on her hips as she stared down her husband in all his big mouthed glory. 

“You bet on it, too!” Steve retorted, holding his hands up in defense, pointing at Connie to claim her as part of the guilty party to whatever was going on.

“What the fuck are you guys talking about?” Javi asked, trying to cut to the chase of whatever cryptic game they were playing. 

“After y’all left on your wedding night, we- shit, this does sound kinda bad when you say it to their face, huh?” Steve paused, letting out a huff as he turned back to Connie, grimacing in agreement, “Us and your family and your dad made a bet.” 

“A bet on…” You led, waiting for your answer. 

Steve sighed again, hands on his hips as he stared at the ground before looking back up at you and Javi, “A bet on how quick it would take after the wedding until the two of you announced you were pregnant.” 

You didn’t even want to know how red your face was turning, but judging by the sudden pink flush of Javi’s cheeks, you had no doubt you looked exactly the same, if not worse. 

“To be fair, your dad was the one who started it!” Steve exclaimed, pointing at Javi to let him know he wasn’t to blame for his friend’s embarrassment before shifting his finger to point at you, “And your brothers were the one who said we should make it a bet! I just wanted in on it!” 

“Jesus fucking christ.” Javi sighed, face in his palm as he rubbed his temples with the pads of his fingers. 

“I hope now you know we’re not gonna have kids just to spite all of you.” You teased, crossing your arms over your chest as you tilted your head at Steve. It was enough to catch Javi’s attention, eyes going wide that there was even a shred of you being serious, laughing to yourself as you watched the relief flush over him when you shook your head at your own joke. 

“Yeah, okay, whatever you say.” Steve chuckled, his voice oozing with sarcasm, simply shrugging before turning back around to continue your journey to the parking garage. 

Javi took his free hand, intertwining it with yours and giving it a gentle squeeze as the two of you trailed behind the Murphy’s soft smile on his face that despite his friends and families bet revolved around your sex life, there was a very real possibility that sooner rather than later, someone was bound to make their fifty bucks. 

“What’d you bet?” Javi asked, feeling entitled to know how Steve had gambled after he’d spilled the beans on his little wager. 

“Well, let’s see, y’all got married at the end of July, so July to August, August to September,” Steve paused, doing the quick math on his fingers as he calculated his answer, “9 months from now would be April, so I’ll be damned if you’re not tellin’ us your havin’ a baby by the fall and it’s here by the spring. And I know for a fact neither of y’all would be mad about that one bit.” 

And as much as you both hated to admit it, it was one of the few things in life that Steve Murphy was very, very right about. 

@chaotic-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem

@angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae

@kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85

@partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo

@endlessthxxghts @beware-my-thorns @missladym1981 @messinadresa @milly-louise @jay-zzle

@the-one-with-the-grey-color @persephone-girl @bitchesuntitled @pedropascallvr @millennial-teenybopper

@nastiasnow @vee-bees-blog @hopplessilse @mxtokko @its-nebuleuse @mandoisapunk

@msmorningstaarr @amyispxnk @honeyedmiller @mountainsandmayhem @picketniffler

@burningnerdchild @copperhalfcent @theoraekenslover @bloodyinspirationaldemon @vee-bees-blog

@samgirl4life @pigeonmama @pedr0swh0r3 @survivingandenduring

@javierpena-inatacvestnotifs

[notjustjavierpena]

Longing

Series Masterpost | Main Masterpost | Support a disabled creator

A/N: This is a collection of !!!!5!!!! asks because y’all are desperate for Javier being a great husband and lover, and I am happy to give you what you crave.

Summary: You make love to your husband the first time after giving birth.

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader (no y/n)

Tags: +18 smut, husband!javier, domestic life, breastfeeding, f masturbation, showering together, insecurity and nervousness, longing kisses and lots of them, body worship, breast play, lactation kink, javier is HUNGRY, nipple play orgasm, checking in, multiple orgasms, dirty talk, praise kink, fingering, clit stim, unprotected piv sex, emotional and desperate sex, creampie, crying and aftercare, sweet javi is here to make you comfortable and make you come 

Word count: 5.3k

Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53944708

Longing

Javier gets up early every day for work during your maternity leave and the routine is the same; coffee, breakfast, and a shower, and then he gets Lucas out of his bassinet so he can feel his son’s tiny body against his naked chest before he finally brings him to you because he knows you love bed-sharing with your newborn. It’s so you don’t miss me, he jokes each time after kissing your forehead, knowing that his son might as well be his clone, at least not too much.

You’re nursing Lucas as Javier gets dressed. Today will be the first break in your newfound routine, and you barely know how to begin. Something is playing on your mind and you distract yourself by running three fingers over Lucas’ head as he feeds, hoping it’ll make the words you’re about to say seem less clumsy.

“Javi,” you try to get your husband’s attention.

“Sí, mi amor (yes, my love)?” Javier is standing in front of the mirror, tying his tie. He looks at you through the mirror and smiles gently as he catches Lucas’ tiny hands reaching for your chest. You let the infant grab at your finger instead, warmth in your grin as you bond with him.

“I was thinking we could do something tonight,” you begin and your voice sounds almost absentminded. It feels silly to ask for sex when you think back to how ravenous both of you were before and during the pregnancy. Lucas is nearly two months old. You haven’t been intimate with each other for two months. 

“Do what?” Javier goes back to tying a knot on his ridiculously patterned tie. 

“You know…”

He tenses up, almost looking like when a cat’s ears perk up in interest.

“Is tonight the night?” He asks, catching on. He turns away from the mirror to face you, expectant but careful not to assume. 

“Two months,” you say simply, “I think I’m ready.”

“Two whole months. How the fuck did we manage that?” He snorts. You tut at his foul language but cannot help but smile since you know he is right. It boggles your mind too. 

“We’ll have to take it slow. Would that be okay?” You look down at Lucas as he gurgles slightly, moving him a bit in your arms. 

Javier finishes dressing for the day. He walks across the room and bends down over you, kissing your forehead, “Is it okay that I get to take care of my beautiful wife? I think I’ll suffer through it for you.”

When you tilt your head backward, he also kisses your mouth. You smile against his lips. You say, “I think you’re late for work.”

“And maybe I’ll go home early too,” he pecks your lips repeatedly, “Rush home and into the bedroom.”

“We’ll be waiting here for you,” you let him know. 

Javier runs a finger down over Lucas’ nose, “Your momma better change the batteries in the baby monitor, mijo (my son). We won’t have time to check on you as often.”

“Oh, just go,” you grin.

“Te quiero (I love you).”

“I love you too, now go catch some bad guys.”

Javier gives you one last kiss before he heads out the door, and it’s enough to leave you aching for another. He lingers until your breath is torn from your lungs, slips his tongue inside your mouth until you are reminded of what he can do with it, and his fingers slide through the hair at the back of your head - all he has to do is yank but he doesn’t, not with his baby in your arms.

“More later,” he whispers and your pulse goes south at the promise. 

“O-okay,” you only manage to stutter.

—

When Lucas has been put to sleep, Javier and you take a warm bath together to get you all relaxed. He helps you under the spray, guiding you into the cubicle by the hand, and smiles as you sigh deeply at the warm water. 

“You’re fucking gorgeous,” he praises when you run your fingers through your hair as it wets. You give him a shy grin. He proceeds to kiss your neck, not caring about water running down over his face when his lips on your body make you less tense with nerves. 

You tilt your head back, letting out a sigh as he drinks in your skin, going upwards until it is your mouth he captures. His hands dig into your fuller hips, fingers denting what you call your baby weight and what he tells you he’d fall on his knees for.

“Can I touch you?” He asks when he needs air. 

“I’m nervous,” you answer truthfully. 

Carefully, as if seeking permission, he takes your hand in his own. He kisses your palm softly and you feel a spark of electricity in your belly, knowing that you are lucky that it is him who is here to guide you through this. He moves your hand down between your legs, “Perhaps… these gentle hands.” 

“You want me to touch myself?” You blink.

“Who would be better?” He grins boyishly. 

A part of you wants to say that you think he might know you better than you know yourself but there’s a plan here. You follow through, never breaking eye contact as you find your clit and start going in circular motions. It takes a second but when your body finally reacts, you let out a gasp at the flutter that spreads out from the little nub. 

Javier looks ravenous at having the privilege to witness you like this. He talks quietly over the sound of the water, and soon you feel his cock poke into your thigh, “That’s it, mi amor (my love). God, look at you. Doing so good.” 

“Javi,” you sigh gently. Your fingers speed up, feeling your heartbeat slowly increasing in speed. You chase your high, mouth slightly open and eyes locked on Javier’s.

“Yeah? You’re gonna make yourself come?” Javier’s hands find your hips again. He holds them in place, joins in the way that he can. You nod with a higher-pitched yeah, eyes falling closed during a louder moan.

Your fingers are more frantic after that. You touch yourself with him looming over you, core burning with need as you can feel his eyes bore into you. Your clit jumps occasionally as you work yourself toward the edge and a crease in your forehead forms. 

“I’m gonna— fuck,” you announce. The sound of water cascading down your body blurs until it becomes almost silent to your ears.

“Yes, you are,” his voice has dropped an octave, “Oh, you really are, aren’t you?”

And then you snap and the fact that it isn’t in privacy and that you have Javier swearing under his breath makes it feel incredible. You can feel your cunt clench from clit to slit repeatedly, seeking more than you can give at the moment but oh, it feels so good. You don’t think you’ve ever wanted your husband inside of you more, walls aching to be stretched.

Time stands still in the shower. You find yourself resting against the cold, tiled wall. Javier looks at you, has pushed his wet hair out of his face, and is smiling triumphantly, “Mi esposa hermosa (my gorgeous wife).”

You roll your eyes, cheeks heating up from both post-orgasmic bliss and sudden shyness, “It felt good. I don’t think you know how wet I am for you.”

“Well you are in the shower,” he jokes when he spots your restraint, hoping to get you to relax even further, and you step forward to punch him playfully. He shies away, laughing to the point where your head swims with love and tenderness for him. 

It ends up being an occasion to kiss once more. Javier holds your face, thumb smoothing over your chin as he slides his mouth over yours. You melt into him, holding onto both of his wrists as you suck on his tongue and it doesn’t bother you that you accidentally swallow a few droplets of water; his lips on yours make everything else fade. 

He has rarely kissed and touched you like this over the past few months, having agreed with himself to not tempt you too much with something that neither of you would have been able to follow through on, so the promise behind his touch - his hands are going down to your hips and your arms are linking together around his neck - makes you shiver as goosebumps rise on your skin underneath the hot spray of water. 

Eventually, you realize how hard he is and you almost feel bad for being so selfish but when you reach down, Javier stops you. 

“I can wait,” he promises, breaking the kiss to look down between your bodies. He twitches in your hand, even more when you reluctantly let go. 

“Javi,” you whine.

“I don’t want it to be over already,” he explains with color on his cheeks, “Think about how much we’ll enjoy it later. I’m sorry, mi amor (my love).”

“No, I understand,” you reply with a soft sigh, “I’ll make it up to you later.”

“Mhm, bet you will,” he hums and then drags you close to kiss you again.

You agree on finishing the shower and getting into your sleep clothes because Javier argues that it might help with your nerves to be undressed by him, a thing you absolutely love. You settle for a loose t-shirt - in case you have to nurse - and panties, something comfortable with an ability to leave the covered parts of your body up to the imagination.

Earlier, before checking on Lucas, you took painkillers to let your muscles relax even further. Now that they are working, you meet him in bed. He smiles at you as he sees you enter through the door and watches you come closer as he is sitting with one leg dangling from the side of your shared bed.

“Hey,” you say shyly.

“Come here,” he smiles.

You may have relaxed muscles but your heartbeat races in your chest, feeling like you might have butterflies trapped behind your ribs. Your body is humming as you crawl onto the bed, sitting on your knees in front of him. 

“You still want to do this?” He asks, taking one of your wrists in his hands. He rubs it with his thumb, giving you his usual concerned expression that could compete with that of a puppy. 

“Yes,” you confirm, leaning forward to initiate a kiss. 

He catches on quickly and meets you halfway. He tastes like toothpaste, kissing you softly at first before he grows hungry from having denied himself during the first touches in the shower. 

You sling your arms around him, just about to be bold enough to straddle him but he is quicker, and suddenly flips you around until your back hits the mattress and makes you bounce slightly. You respond with a half-yelp, half-giggle, and try to ignore any anxiety that might arise. 

However, any noise quickly dies in your throat because Javier moves on top of you. He moves close until you can get drunk on his scent, inhale the distinct smell of only him that gets you so high because you know it’s only you who gets to be so close to it. You can feel your heartbeat in your sex, your underwear starting to dampen. 

“You know I struggle to be gentle,” he rasps against your ear, placing a lingering kiss right below it to make your heartbeat spike. His hands curl around the bottom of your t-shirt. He pulls back to look at what he is doing to you and for a moment, you think he might rip the fabric apart from the way his nails dig into it, the same urgency in his eyes like someone who has gone without food and drink for weeks and is now looking at a whole buffet, “When it’s been so long since I have had you like this.”

You hum in understanding, mouth slightly open and squeezing your legs together with a sigh, causing Javier to look down between your legs. He looks like someone who is making a plan, a list of steps forward about what he wants to do to you. You can only wait in anticipation.

Your top comes off then. He yanks it upwards and you lift your arms above your head to help him rid you of it completely. Your tits bounce slightly as there is nothing to hold them anymore, and Javier groans at the sight of you. He practically latches onto your neck, sucking his way down your throat until he has made a trail of glistening spit down over your shoulder, your collarbone, and finally down between your breasts. It’s nice but it’s a lot.

“Stop,” you say to him as he seems lost in the moment. You rest your hands on the back of his neck, threading your fingers through the soft curls there. He lifts his head to look at you, and you smile gently. Your face feels hot, “I need you to go slow… Sorry, I’m not ruining it, am I? I just told you to stop…”

“What? No. No, mi amor (my love),” he reassures but even if his kisses have made you wet, you feel overwhelmed with the idea that things might not be the same ever again. You shift slightly underneath him, and he presses a soft kiss to your collarbone whilst watching your expression in case it’s still uncomfortable for you. 

“I think it might take a while for me to be ready tonight, I can’t just jump back in,” you swallow after confessing it but Javier nods in understanding. 

“That’s okay, baby. It’s only been two months,” he crawls up to hover over you, abandoning whatever he was doing even if he was enjoying it, and you still rest your hands on the back of his neck. 

“I mean you’re so,” you decide to feed his ego to make your reluctance up to him even if it’s not necessary, “… Big.”

Javier snorts. He seems to find it more funny than flattering, “Yeah?”

“Oh yeah,” you giggle, “Biggest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Listen,” he turns serious, resting on one of his forearms to reach for your hand on the back of his head. He pulls it down so he can hold your hand in his. He entwines your fingers, “Do you want to stop? I won’t get angry at you.”

“And not even try?” You avoid his gaze.

“Hey, mírame (look at me),” he replies and you do, “If that’s what you want. No matter what you say, we made progress tonight.”

“I masturbated in the shower,” you deadpan. 

Javier laughs but he kisses your lips a few times, “And it was fucking sexy. I’ll be satisfied with just watching that for the rest of my life if I had to, but I do like the thought of Lucas not being an only child.”

“Slow down, Peña,” you teasingly scold him, feeling your anxiety fade as he makes you laugh and thus relax, “You just got your first baby. I am not a factory.”

“What are you then?” He wiggles his brows.

“Your wife,” you say with a grin. 

“Oh, right, that’s right,” he moves to kiss your neck again and you find that you let him. He moves slower than before, trailing his lips across your throat from one shoulder to the other. He takes his time and doesn’t rush the way that he probably would like to, “That’s right, you’re my wife.” 

“Husband,” you moan softly and feel him smile against your skin. He goes further down and goosebumps rise on your skin when the flat of his tongue licks around one of your nipples. You push your chest out, needing more because it starts a fire in your belly. To think that he hadn’t even gotten this far just moments ago. 

“You like that?” He asks, pressing a kiss to the side of your right breast. He looks up at you through his lashes before he licks the little nub again, it has hardened into a peak. The nerves are so sensitive there now that you are breastfeeding, and you hadn’t even given it a second thought that it could be something to enjoy with him. 

“Yeah,” you sigh and stare down at the top of his head. He moves to bend your legs, spreading them apart so he can lie down between them and kiss your tits. 

“I can’t wait to see how wet this’ll get you, baby,” he murmurs as he concentrates. He starts with the right side, letting his mouth fall open until he can press a hot, open-mouthed kiss to your nipple and suck just a little as he pulls back. He does it again. You curl your toes and whine. 

“Oh,” you are panting already from the connection it appears to have with your cunt, “Keep going.”

Javier doesn’t hesitate. He skims his hand up and down your side until he dares cup your breast, looking up at you for confirmation that you aren’t uncomfortable. You bite your lip and nod. 

Your husband applies the gentlest amount of pressure. He doesn’t remove his hand again, keeping your breast in his palm as he takes your nipple between his lips once more. However, this time he sucks without pulling away, and much to your surprise, as he massages you too, you feel a few drops of milk slip into his mouth. 

“Javi!” You say in a horrified voice, starting to squirm, “I’m so sorry. Oh my God, ohmygodohmygodohmy—“

But Javier only seems to be spurred on by this. In fact, he starts to coax out more milk to satisfy the hunger that he didn’t even know he had in him. You hear him mumbling something, telling you not to worry about it. He sucks, laps, and catches each drop that escapes his mouth and streaks your beautiful chest whilst your eyes roll back and your clit throbs. 

Your hands find his hair. You tug without making him pull away from you, and pressure builds as his skilled tongue moves in circles around your now-puffy nipple. He takes the peak between his lips again and again, the sound of wet kisses towards skin filling the room, and he drinks like he is parched. 

Eventually, you feel too tender to go on and something inside of you fears that you might actually come from this even if it seems ridiculous to be terrified of that happening. You don’t think you have ever had breasts this sensitive in your life, and whilst it has been nice for you to have Javier pay attention to your chest, this is new territory and it’s overwhelming above all else. 

The grip you have on his hair intensifies, “Baby. Can you switch? I’m getting sore.”

“Of course,” he draws back slowly and gently noses along your spit-slicked nipple and presses one last soft kiss. You twitch underneath the touch. 

“Javi,” you stress. 

But he follows through and switches over to the left. The sensation of him using his tongue on you here as well is exquisite, eliciting a string of higher and higher moans from your throat. 

God, he knows what he is doing with his mouth and soon wetness has started to smear your inner thighs after seeping through your underwear. You know Javier will lose his mind when he sees it.

Though right now, he is busy as his tongue flicks repeatedly across the hardened nub. Milk trails down your stomach at first and then suddenly squirts when he pinches your right nipple without warning. 

“Oh!” You gasp and feel your pulse getting stronger between your legs. You lift your head, “Jesus. This is—“

“The hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen,” he interrupts you as if he knows you are going to degrade yourself in some way. You were in fact going to call it messy. He kisses your breast open-mouthed again, sucking your nipple into his mouth until you give in to a moan, “¡Dios mío (my God)! You taste like candy. Sweetest fuckin’ thing ever.”

“You need to—“ you can barely speak as his tongue curls around your hardened peak. He flicks his tongue back and forth over it afterward.

“Yes?” He stops to let you talk and nibbles right at the roundness of your breast. 

“I can’t do this anymore, we gotta do something else or I’ll come,” you don’t even hear how absurd it is to make it sound like a problem. Below you, Javier nearly chokes at hearing that.

“Jesus, how devastating that would be,” he says sarcastically. With a quick glance up at you, he decides to keep going to which you do not protest. He lavishes you with nips and sucks, building something low in your belly, “Then come, mi vida (my life).”

You try to catch your breath as your cunt pulses but suddenly an orgasm crashes over you and makes you lose it altogether. There’s milk everywhere. You cry for him after a moment of not being able to make a sound, hands falling to the sides so you don’t end up pulling strands of hair from his scalp. Your back arches, your throat scratches from the noise you make, and below you, Javier watches with absolute wonder.

“Are you okay?” He eventually asks, sitting up a little to follow your wishes if you should have any. When you don’t respond, too busy panting, he starts rubbing your thighs soothingly until you come back to him. 

“That’s never happened before,” you say, “I didn’t think…”

“Was it good?” He watches you with a tiny smirk.

You nod.

“Do you want more?” He continues. 

You don’t hesitate despite the circumstances. Twenty minutes ago, you would have doubted even being kissed. You nod.

“And what does my baby want?” He looks down between your legs. When you don’t reply, he starts suggesting things, “Want me to play with your perfect pussy? We can stop anytime you want.”

You whimper instead of using actual words. It’s now that you realize the pressure inside of you telling you how much you need to feel him inside of you, and you’ll take it any way you can. Perhaps it’ll be easier to start out this way. 

“Yeah?” He sounds almost a bit mocking, moving to stand on his knees between your spread legs, “That what my girl wants?”

“Yeah,” you reply breathlessly.

Javier swears quietly as he hooks his fingers into the waistband of your panties, pulling them down and watching the fabric cling to your wet seam. He inhales deeply as if to compose and behave himself, looking starved for more even as he already has a streak of white milk on his chin, “You are so goddamn wet for me, baby. She’s weeping, the poor thing.”

“Imagine how many men would worship the shape of your body,” he praises as soon as he has you naked below him, eyes glazed over by lust. He looks at you as if it’s the first time he has ever seen you, pupils dilated and mouth slightly open. You feel like a deer in the headlights of a car but you don’t dare interrupt him, don’t dare disturb the flow of words falling from his lips because they make your whole body burn with need instead of insecurity.

“I can’t believe that I was the one who got to make you my wife,” he tells you with a smile that shows you how pleased he is with himself as if it’s his greatest achievement - fuck everything else; the job, the money, the fame. He skims a hand over your belly before leaning down to kiss below your belly button, causing your muscles to jump underneath his warm mouth when he licks you clean of milk. Then his palm descends on your body, “Mhm, gonna show you how grateful I am. Stuff you full of my fingers.”

“Please,” you whine, jaw clenching as he slips a finger inside of you and tiny shivers seem unable to stop rolling over you. He straightens again to look at you for reassurance that everything is okay. You give him no reason to doubt.

After a few moments, he adds a second finger. He curls them upwards until he finds the little spot inside of you that makes you sing, and your hands grab at the sheets when he makes a come-hither motion over and over again.

“Javi,” you breathe desperately. 

“Yes?” He doesn’t halt, only slows down slightly to concentrate on what you are going to ask of him. The look in his eye tells you that he’ll give you anything. 

“I love you,” you moan towards the ceiling instead. The wet squelches of your cunt are obscene to listen to, bouncing off the walls along with your continuous gasping for air as he makes you unable to breathe properly. 

“I know, baby, I know. I love you too,” he grinds the heel of his hand down against your mound, reminding you briefly of how he made love to you the first time ever. He rubs your clit on the outside and works the pads of his fingers over your g-spot on the inside. Fast. The world fades away around you until you suddenly find yourself coming again, Javier’s eyes widening at how quickly you have gotten there once more, “Christ, baby. You are just insatiable tonight. Has it been too long?”

“I want you,” you completely ignore the question. You shake through your high, not even planning on begging but it’s almost too much not to have him fuck you, “I can— ah, I can take your cock. I can. Please. I need you inside of me.” 

Javier growls. He shoves his underwear down, moving on the bed for a moment until he is completely naked. You reach for him with newfound confidence, and he enters your embrace and slides both arms underneath you to hug you back. The kiss he gives you is so longing that you almost want to cry from all the emotion it exudes. He loves you so much. He would never do anything to hurt you. It is so clear at that moment. 

“Make love to me,” you moan into his mouth, thumbs drawing down the sides of his face until you can move your hands to the nape of his neck. He is warm against your chest, the curls at the back of his neck slightly damp from sharing your body heat for so long.

It takes a mere few seconds for him to reach down between your bodies. You make a little gasp as he pushes into you. He is slow in his movements, almost making it seem like he isn’t moving his hips forward at all, and he keeps his eyes on yours to make sure your face’s contortion isn’t because of pain. 

You grab at the pillowcase, clutching it into your grip as he fills you up. Your breathing is loud and hard, your eyes a little wider than usual. There’s a little resistance but you try to relax into it, accept his cock even if it’s with trembles of your body.

“This okay?” He asks with a voice that is marked by his own restraint. 

You nod repeatedly. You want to punch the bed. Instead, you reach to grab his bicep and hold on for dear life as he gets deep inside of you. You aren’t sure if you have overdone it by coming two times already because you are so sensitive, your walls fluttering around his length but oh, you want him so badly that you take it with your eyes rolling back into your skull.

After a few very long moments, he is fully inside of you. His chest rises and falls quickly, breathing strained because of how much he has missed being engulfed by your heat. You hold onto his arms which flex underneath your touch, and then he moves inside of you for the first time in two months. 

The cry that releases from your throat makes your voice break and Javier’s groan follows right after. You become a sweaty mess of limbs, clutching at each other as if you can’t get close enough. You pant his name, kiss him deeply, and dig your fingers into his skin hard enough to bruise.

“I’ve missed you,” you tell him through whimpers.

“You’re perfect, mi amor (my love),” he replies in a gruff voice, “I love to fuck you.”

Javier cannot help his mouth when you make him feel like this. He thrusts harder into you, moving his weight to his forearm so he can slide his free hand under you to press it against the small of your back. He lifts your pelvis into his own, arching you until no one would be able to tell where he starts and you finish. 

Then he speeds up his hips and you see stars. You throw both arms around him, holding onto your wrist to keep them there. He drives into you with determination to make you scream, and as you do, you try to imagine how beautiful his golden back is glistening with sweat. 

“Fucking love making you come,” he continues, planting a kiss on your jaw that was probably supposed to be on your mouth, “Over and over and over. Are you gonna come for me?”

“Yes, yes, God, yes, baby,” you can feel his pubic bone grinding into your clit, building your peak quickly, “Keep going— don’t, oh my God, don’t stop!”

“Wouldn’t dream— fuck, I wouldn’t dream of it, my love,” he sounds close to, giving you everything he has to make you tip over the edge a third time. He always tells you how much he loves you choking his cock until he spills inside of you.

So when you come, a hitched breath turning into a series of cries for God, he does too. It is two months of built-up tension and emotions, and you find yourself crying in his arms as waves of pleasure take hold of you and take you with them. You are gone, lost to the world of burning desire and ecstasy. 

After he pulls out of you, the sense of time is an unknown concept in the silence that follows. You cry quietly because nothing else can convey what you feel. After all, you feel so close to him again. Javier brushes each tear away with his thumb, murmuring soft and comforting words. 

“You did so good,” are the first words that actually make sense to you. He noses along your shoulder to kiss you there, “I don’t deserve you. You are the most beautiful woman in this world.”

You chuckle breathlessly but fresh tears just fall down your cheeks. Javier rolls off of you to make things less intense, looking at you from where he is lying on his side, “Don’t cry. There’s nothing to cry about. You were so beautiful.” 

“Sorry,” you say instantly and wipe tears away with the back of your hands. 

“No,” he objects, “That’s not what I meant.”

He is silent for a moment. Then he lays his palm on your stomach, “What do you need?”

“To pee and get cleaned up,” you feel embarrassed without knowing why, “My legs feel like jelly.”

“Fuck it, let’s see if mine do too,” he is on his feet before you can protest, telling you to scoot closer and when you do, he picks you up bridal style. 

He carries you to the bathroom, making a comment about your wedding night, and then lets you pee and wipes you down with a damp cloth afterward, both your sensitive cunt and breasts. You kiss him more times than you can count when he takes you back to bed again. 

In the morning, you watch him bounce Lucas in his arms when he thinks you are asleep. He is making funny faces and blowing raspberries on your son’s chubby cheeks, talking so gently that you can’t help but simply roll onto your other side, smile gently to yourself, and fall back into slumber.

.

.

If you would like to follow my writing then go follow @notjustjavierpena-fics and turn on notifications 💖❤️

[baronessvonglitter]

Law of Attraction ~ Chapter 1

Rom Com AU divorce lawyer!Dave York x fem!Reader (featuring nightclub owner! Javier Peña)

Word count: 2,779

Summary: A chance meeting at a museum brings you companionship when you least expect it.

(Warnings contain spoilers beneath the cut)

WARNINGS: 18+ Only! Explicit for allusion to smut/light smut and eventual smut. Rom com vibes throughout. AU as stated above. Reader wears dress and makeup. Mentions of loneliness. TW for infidelity and some violence (nobody harmed.. physically)

Author's Note: Some of you may be thinking, 'but Adriana, don't you already have a series about Dave?' to which I answer a resounding Yes, but I've left that story at a good place for right now and will get to updating it as time allows. Plus I really just wanted to do a light and fluffy story 😊 Fun fact: all the chapters are named after rom-com tropes 😉There will be more Pedro characters added in later chapters, so be on the lookout. Enjoy!

Series Masterlist

You put on your earrings in the mirror, little violet flower earrings that match the soft purple in your dress. Your mascara, freshly applied, is at risk of being cried away before you grab a tissue to dab at your eyes.

"You're sure you're not upset?" your husband Javier asks behind you, sitting up in bed with a fresh cigarette between his lips.

"Of course not," you smile, doing your best to tamper down your feelings and brush your selfishness aside. "I know the business comes first." Javi has important meetings regarding his nightclub, more than ever these days, it seems. You're a good wife in letting him do what he needs to do.

"You know I'd come with you if I could. And hey, the museum's always gonna be there," he reasons. "Besides, we'll catch dinner later tonight at that new steakhouse on the east side."

"It's just.." you turn to face him, leaning against the vanity. "Today's the last day of the Kusama exhibit. I wanted to see it with you."

"Baby, we can catch it another time."

"After this they're moving across the country," you pout, not meaning to, but it's the umpteenth time Javier has broken his promise to you.

"Come here."

You obey his soft command, sitting on the edge of the bed, your skin warming to his touch as his fingers graze up and down your arm. "You smell good, baby. You used that perfume I got you?"

"Yeah," you smile, lifting your other wrist to your nose. "Roses de Chloe. My favorite."

"My favorite too, on you." He stubs out his cigarette and pulls you in for a kiss.

"Javi," you giggle as his hand dips below the scooped neckline of your dress, cupping your breast. "Didn't you get enough earlier?"

"I didn't fuck you good enough if you're still able to walk," he smirks, pulling you down against his chest.

"I'm already running late," you sigh as he pulls the top of your dress down and his lips pucker around your nipple, sucking and pulling.

"Late for a museum? Only you would worry about that, honey. Now come on," he says, scooting down on the bed. "Lift up that dress, baby, and sit on my fucking face."

Dave has been waiting in line with his daughters for only fifteen minutes when the announcement is made that tickets are officially sold out. Alice and Molly look up at him, expecting him to do something, but what exactly can he do? "Look, girls, I'm sorry. We'll have to come back another day."

"We wanted to see the exhibit. I wanted to take a selfie with those big neon wiggly things," Molly pouts.

"I know, sweetie, but it's just not in the cards today." He ruffles her hair, hating to disappoint them.

There's a scent of roses as he feels someone approach the three of them. "Hey, sorry, I heard you wanted to get into the exhibit."

Dave looks up and sees you, and has a momentary lapse of thought, struck by how pretty you are. Floral dress, white sweater, lavender bag. It's like you've stepped out from a commercial.

"Um.. yes, my daughters are kind of upset that tickets sold out so quick. It's my fault for not purchasing them ahead of time." He smiles sheepishly, wondering what you must think of him.

"I can get you in with me," you offer. "I have a membership pass. Kids get in free and I can bring one other person."

"You don't have to do that-"

"Please. I want to." You take a look at his daughters, who are looking back at you with hope in their pretty little eyes. "You'd be doing me a favor by accepting," you tell Dave.

The girls tug on his hands, jumping up and down, begging him to take up your offer until he at last relents. "Okay, okay," he chuckles. "Thank you, Miss..?"

You give him your name, offer your hand, which he takes in his own. He repeats it back to you, making sure he's got it right, the taste of your name like a sweet swig of wine in his mouth.

He introduces himself, Dave York, and his kids Molly and Alice, minus the wife Carol, who's working a double shift today. The usual pleasantries are exchanged, nervous smiles, comments about the weather.

Even after you break the handshake he swears he can still feel your skin against his, soft and delicate.

You willingly split from him once you're inside, not wanting him to feel beholden to stay at your side because of your help. Besides, you're used to outings where you're by yourself. It gives you time to think.

The exhibit is just as gorgeous in person as you've seen online. Love is Calling is an area filled with brightly-lit neon orange, purple, green, and yellow inflatable shapes that remind you of large stalagmites and stalactites covered in big black polka dots, which change colors gradually.

"It's like being in another world," someone says next to you, and you look up to find Dave.

"Yeah," you agree, smiling as you look around. "Like Dr. Seuss's world."

He laughs at that, and watches his older daughter take a selfie just as she'd wanted to do. You like his laugh, and a deeper part of you wants to hear it more often. From the corner of your eye you watch him in profile. Dark brown hair, neatly combed to the side, coffee-colored eyes, aquiline nose, soft-looking lips with a prominent cupid's bow, and a clean shaven jaw.

You realize you've been staring too long, blush creeping up your neck as you turn away just before he sees.

"Do you hear that?" he asks, brows drawn together in concentration.

You grab the brochure from inside your bag. "It's the artist, Yayoi Kusama, reciting a love poem in Japanese," you read. "The poem is called 'Residing in a Castle of Shed Tears'."

"Sad title for such a whimsical place."

"True.." you watch his girls playing, hiding from each other among the colorful shapes. "They're having fun."

"Do you have any of your own?" he asks.

"Oh.. no. My husband and I didn't want any." It was a little white lie-- Javier had gotten a vasectomy without your knowledge right after you'd gotten married. But it's not anything a stranger needs to know.

"They're.. life-changing," Dave says.

"No boys?"

He shakes his head. "We are pretty much done ourselves."

"Ah. Got it."

Entering into the next area is the most magical part. The infinity mirror room, dark but for a blue tint cast throughout, and hundreds of tiny LED lights. You're multiplied throughout the mirrors within, in seemingly endless space. It takes your breath away.

Next to you, Dave's fingers accidentally brush yours and you both startle from it, laughing a little nervously before you move away. You try not to think about the jolt that went through you at the contact.

You try to stay as long as you can in this area, before the next crowd comes in. It's in this one place you don't feel like yourself, as if you exist far apart from your life, and it's a very freeing feeling.

Dave loses you after the exhibit, and stamps down the disappointment at realizing he might not ever see you again. He tries to show the girls some art, what little he studied in college, explaining the way certain painters painted the way they did, or the intricacy of a sculpture. Molly and Alice don't seem interested, but they like spending time with him.

His heart jumps when he sees you across the gallery, studying a Renaissance painting, staying long after the others have moved onto other pieces. You must feel his eyes on you because you turn, and with a little smile you wave at him. He waves back, holding back a full on grin as you approach him. "Thought you'd left by now."

"I could stay here all day," you tell him, and there's something about the dreamy look in your eyes that melts his heart. A silent agreement crosses between you and you circle the gallery together.

So close to you now, he tries to be stealthy about his glances at you. He can't defend the awkward rhythm of his heart when you move closer to whisper some fact about the painter of this particular still-life. All he can think about is your scent: rose perfume, a sweet vanilla in your shampoo, and something else, unfamiliar and yet he'd know it from a mile away.

Sex. You smell like sex.

His eyes dart quickly to your dress, the flesh of your thighs not covered, wondering if you know, if you even care, because truth is he doesn't mind it at all.

Stop looking at her. You're married. She's married. The band of gold glistening on your finger is a dead giveaway.

"We need to come out here more often," he says, hoping to find a reason to run into you again. "We should get going. But not before a stop at the gift shop, right?" And the girls agree excitedly.

You pop in with them, not really knowing why. Maybe it's because Dave is so nice, or because his daughters are adorable and you'd like to have your own someday.

You're perusing the section near the cashier's desk you and Dave both reach for the same poster: Starry, Starry Night by Van Gogh.

"Sorry," you say at the same time, awkwardly letting go.

"You should take it," he offers.

"No, no.. your girls should have it. I wasn't going to buy it anyway."

He shakes his head, a little smile on his lips, which you can't stop glancing at. "You've done so much for us today.."

"Please," you insist, handing him the poster tube.

It's a warm feeling to watch the girls so excited, ending their day on a high note. You walk outside altogether, the late afternoon giving way to early evening.

"We wanted to thank you again. Right, girls?" And his daughters give a polite 'thank you' in unison, their cute faces beaming.

"It's my pleasure," you smile serenely at them. "I hope I'll see you again sometime. I actually own a little place a couple blocks away. It's a bookstore-slash-bakery."

"We could go check it out," Dave offers, and the girls are excited to spend more time on their adventure.

Dave doesn't know what to expect when he steps foot into your bookstore/bakery, Fiction & Frosting, but he can tell right away it's absolutely your creation. The bakery section is at the front, the scent of vanilla, cinnamon, and coffee greeting him, giving a cozy atmosphere right away. The glass display cases boast treats of all kinds: cookies, cupcakes, cake pops, brownies, everything a bakery could have. Down the counter, employees are making coffee, preparing orders as customers wait patiently, thumbing through the books they've already purchased.

He smiles when you slip behind the counter, getting the girls some treats after making sure it's okay with him, and strawberry milk to go with their sweets. Dave declines at first but is unable to resist a blueberry muffin and a black coffee. He insists on paying you, but you refuse his money. It's easy to be kind to him and his kids. You like taking advantage of being able to do nice things for others.

The four of you stroll the bookstore area, the atmosphere cozy, the scent of paper and ink that only a literary shop can provide. There are new releases as well as classics; magazines and journals. "This is impressive. I can't remember what this place used to be, and I've worked across the street from here for years." Dave says. Alice and Molly are looking at the kids' section.

"Oh you have?" you smile. "I've always wondered what that place is." All you know is it's a high-rise building, sleek glass and metal, with expensive suits coming and going.

"Here," he says, reaching into his wallet and pulling out his business card. Your fingers brush together for a moment during the transfer, and you both smile.

"You're a.. divorce attorney," you say, voice somewhat flat.

"Uh, yeah," he says as if he could apologize. He glances at your ring again, twisting his own gold band as if to ground his thoughts and remind himself that you're both taken.

When you burst into tears he freezes, his jacket left behind in his car with the handkerchief he would have given you. Luckily you pull a tissue from your purse and press it to your face.

"Are you okay? I didn't mean to upset you," he says, softly rubbing your back.

"I'm fine," comes your muffled reply. "I just.. I'm just emotional, that's all."

"Is everything all right.. at home?" he asks, concerned by your tears. So many years in this field and he knows an unhappy wife when he sees one.

"I don't.. is it okay if I don't talk about it?" you sniffle.

"Of course. I didn't mean to pry," he assures you, his voice soothing. He keeps his hand on your back, waiting for you to let it all out.

"I'm such a fool," you manage a smile at him through your tears. "I didn't mean to blow up like that."

"It's okay," he says, dabbing at a streak of mascara you'd missed on your cheek. "My number's on the card. If you ever just want to talk, please call. I promise not to charge you," he adds with a little chuckle, hoping to lift your spirits.

"Or maybe.. you could come by for a coffee. I promise not to charge you." You give him a real, true smile.

It's almost as if you don't want to go home, but there's no reason to stay once Dave and the girls have left the shop. The drive home isn't as long, despite the traffic.

You can hear the music from the front hallway. "Moment" by Victoria Monet, the smooth bass and vocals providing an atmosphere you typically walk into when Javi's in the mood, which is often. You smile, wondering if he's expecting your arrival and setting the mood before you go out to dinner. As often as he does break his promises, he has his ways of making up for it. You open the door to your bedroom.

"Babe, I--"

You freeze into place as your world breaks wide open.

Another woman is in your bed with your husband, her body writhing on top of him.

Rooted to the spot, you watch helplessly as this happens. His hands are all over her body, he's calling her all the pet names he calls you. Mami, hermosa, carino, ven por mi.

"What the fuck??" you shout over the music, putting a stop to the extramarital fucking going on in your marriage bed. Javi and his bitch scramble to cover up. "This is the meeting you absolutely couldn't miss??" You glare daggers at the woman, who's avoiding your gaze as she hurriedly puts her skimpy dress back on. You recognize her-- Cindy, one of the bartenders at his club. "Get out of here, you slut! I don't want to see you in this house ever again!" You throw nearest thing - a bottle of perfume from your vanity - at her, narrowly missing her as Roses de Chloe crashes against the wall. Cindy manages to escape unscathed but the true target of your fury remains.

"Didn't expect you back so early, baby. I can explain," Javier says, getting his jeans back on, forgoing his underwear. But you back away before he can come near you.

"Explain?? Explain to me how you fell into your employee dick-first!"

He looks guilty for only a second, a little smile on his lips as he tries again to broach your defenses. "She means nothing to me. She's just going through a lot right now and I wanted to help her. I can't help that she came on strong." He studies you, his face a perfect facade of innocence, eyebrows slightly lifted, plush lips pouting beneath his perfectly groomed mustache.

But you know better. You shrink from him as he tries to reach out and hold you.

You're sick to your stomach over his lies, and the readiness with which you have accepted them in the past. "Don't touch me!" you shout, ready to hurl something at him. "Don't ever come near me again," you manage, right before tears spill over your eyes. Without a second thought you hurry out of the house you've shared with him for years, get into your car and drive away.

dividers by @strangergraphics & @cafekitsune👑

Taglist: @penascigarette @joelalorian @la-vie-est-une-fleur29

@darkheartgatita @speaktothehandpeasants @rav3n-pascal22

@vickie5446 @eviispunk @mrs-pedro-pascal @zascal

@sunnytuliptime @mysticsuitcasealmondwombat

@joelmillerisapunk @almostfoxglove @itwasntimethatdidit40

@604to647 @milla-frenchy @everybodylovedcontractors

[umadosedepascal]

P E D R O P A S C A L

O N L Y

__ FIC REQUEST OPEN __

SERIES

(Banners are here)

NEW MEXICO(PART IX)- Pedro asks you to spend his birthday together with you. You just go.

W I N N E R(PART VIII) - You couldn’t attend SAG awards but Pedro meets you late in the night to celebrate.

O U C H (PART VII) - You are at the Golden Globes and meet Pedro over there, he didn’t win unfortunately but still, he is a winner in bed.

B O A T (PART VI) - Today is your last day in Malta. Pedro will be back to work, and you also need to return to your routine. Pedro wants your last day to be wonderful, nothing like a surprise with a perfect end. The three most intense days of your life.

COME FIND ME (PART V) - Pedro promised you a weekend, but an unforeseen event changes everything. Maybe he's a fan of surprises, maybe he can find you.

72 HOURS WITH HIM (PART IV) - The shooting in Malta keeps going, all Pedro needs is a weekend off, well…he got it. Would you go meet him for only three days? Hmmm yes!

PEDRO SOLO (PART III) - The days are long and exhausting, Pedro has a huge hotel room, hot tub ... But he is missing something, could you help him?

LOSING GAME (PART II) - You meet Pedro again not just to take back your panties. He wants to play a game, who’s going to lose?

HIGH MILES CLUB (PART I) - After partying hard at Met Gala making out with you in the bathroom and later taking you to his hotel room in NY, he finds something inside his red overcoat pocket in the middle of the airport. But it doesn’t stop, more unexpected and hot things happens during his flight back home.

ONE SHOT

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🔥DIRTY HOLIDAY - You go with friends spend the holidays in Mexico, such a coincidence to be at the same resort as Pedro. What a world, so small huh?

MEET ME AT THE SET - Pedro is THE GENERAL, babe!

CORONA, MEXICO - You got invited by Corona to be an extra on the new “La vida mas fina” campaign at the beach. Even if was only one single scene, maybe just 10 seconds of screen you would be more than happy because the main reason was him…Pedro.

MASTERCHEF FAIL - With a busy schedule, Pedro finds some time to spend with you. You promised him to cook his favorite food. Maybe things get out of hand and dessert comes before dinner.

PURPLE IS THE HOTTEST COLOR - After having a difficult day, Pedro meets you, no patience, no time for conversations.Pedro only has one desire in mind: you here and now, no matter if anyone will see you.

————————————————

PEDRO I M A G I N E

🔥Him, a mattress and a glass of water

Pedro fucks you so good…

I’m into submission…

It’s 3 in the morning…

Hey, I’m looking at you…

What a smile…

You wearing his purple shirt…

Pedro eat pussy drawing

Pedro eat pussy part II

————————————————

Who are Santa Trindade

Gringa is on her late 30’s totally addicted to Pascal for the latest years (she doesn’t know what happened) although she’s following his work since 2019 because she is a Star Wars nerd and fell in love with a mandalorian 🤷🏻‍♀️. Her favorite Pedro boy is Javi Gutierrez because he is chubby and funny (Pedro vibes almost 100%).

What makes her wet is when Pedro: slide his finger on his lips while giggling.

Good vibes: if she had a date with Pedro she thinks she wouldn’t be able to walk the next day 🥲

——

@missyorkswhore is on her late 20’s and noticed Pedro when her uncle was watching Narcos, she saw Javier and asked him “wow, who’s that stach guy?”. A couple years later she finally got into Narcos and you know…she still want to marry Peña.

She loves when Pedro raises his eyebrow, and when he speaks Spanish [she thinks she can get wet in a fraction of seconds if he speaks like that to her in bed] ah and of course when he screams WHAT TOWN!!! as Joel.

Fave character obviously: DAVE FUCKING YORK (killer king)

[chronically-ghosted]

there ain't enough room in this twin bed in our shitty Bogota apartment for the two of us

rating: E (explicit - 18+)

pairing: javier peña x f!reader

word count: 13K 🫣

summary: after surviving the bomb, you and javier make it home to your apartment . . . and promptly pick up right where you left off in the car. 

warnings/tags: canon typical violence, discussions of death/violence, oral (f receiving), piv sex, smut-smut-smut, edging, slight overstimulation, lots of feelings, no use of y/n

a/n: part two of Go On, I Dare Ya - the final chapter because writing smut for these two really wears me out

🤍 AO3 Link

🤍Series Masterlist | Prev | THE END

🤍Masterlist

There’s a ringing. 

Smoke. Acrid and burning. It’s in your chest, your mouth, your eyes – is that why you can’t see? You cough and just breathe more in, inhaling nails that scrape your lungs. There’s a bright spot on your hip and back and palm – pain? – yes, that’s blood – fuck, where’s your gun? Why are you laying down?

There’s a ringing. A vibration. Like the world is made of brass and someone is tapping tapping tapping with their finger nail and you can actually feel the swelling ring –

There’s still smoke. Less now. Controlled. Intentional. But it still vaporizes the air in your lungs.

“Can you put that out?” You snap at the large fed standing by the doorway. Slowly, he lifts his eyes to you, frowning, as if you are being unreasonable. But eventually, your glare wins out over his and he, as if moving through molasses, reaches towards the metal table, and snuffs out the cigarette into a grimy ashtray.

You realize the ringing is someone speaking to you.

Noonan. She looks worried, pale, but determined. The lines around her mouth are sharp, distinct, as if someone with endless patience carved them out of her skin. She looks old, you think, an idea that doesn’t come to you very often, if at all. Her mouth is moving but you don’t really hear what’s coming out of it. You watch her lips move, they look like they’re made of rubber, flapping over an empty, black hole. White. Teeth. Bite.

Something warm touches your wrist and it’s like you’re sucked back into your body.

You blink, the overhead light of the empty interrogation room suddenly very bright, the scratch of the tape recorder as it rolls on in the silence. You can see yourself in the mirror over Noonan’s blue padded suit. God, you look terrible. Ashy, dirty, there’s a cut over your left eye and suddenly you’re aware of the blood there, the pain there, and in your hands and hips. By the pressure there, you know you’re going to have bruises if you don’t already. Your hands have bandages over them so you can’t see the damages, but the cloth scratches what feels like an open wound. How much blood is there?

Three sets of eyes watch you with varying mixtures of emotion. Noonan, verging on concern. The suit behind you – Ken Something – remains unimpressed. And –

The warmth on your wrist is Javi. Just the barest touch of his fingers. He gently says your name, your last name at least, and you hear it very, very clearly. You follow the bend of his fingers with your eyes, over his wrist, up his arm that has a large bandage just around the elbow, then up his shoulder – God, that white shirt is ruined, torn, bloodied, filthy – to his eyes. 

Eyes you saw in the midst of all that smoke and fire. Panicked and white like searchlights. You remember him screaming your name – your first name – then. 

He’s looking at you like he wishes you two are the only ones in all of existence. 

“Agent,” he says softly but firmly, “the senator asked you a question.” 

There’s a cut along the arch of his cheek and you want to touch it, but instead you turn back to Noonan.

“Sorry, I missed it. What did you say?” 

Noonan glances at Javier, something about concern communicated, before interlocking her fingers on the table in front of her. 

“I said, for the record, I’d like your account of what happened after the first bomb went off. We have Agent Peña’s and now I’d like yours.” 

The microphone in front of your face feels invasive, like some streaker just flashed you before running off, giggling. You try not to scowl.

“The car bomb in front of the gambling den went off and blew out half the building. Agent Peña and I were fifty feet up the road at the intersection of Manacha and Comal. It had been a strictly routine follow up to a tip we received on Tuesday. The target, Edwardo Valasquez, was rumored to be meeting with one of the upper narcos so the mission was to watch where he went, to validate that claim. Peña and I had been tailing him all day. That night, in the car, we –,” 

Your voice catches. The tape winds, black film consumed again and again. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Javier stiffen. The room still smells like smoke, but this time you can’t tell if it’s coming from your clothes or the ashtray.

You swallow. “We had been there for seven hours when the first bomb went off. The target didn’t come out before then and we didn’t see anyone mess with the rigged car. It was a trap.” 

“Who do you think the intended targets were?” Noonan asks, interest overtaking the worry on her face. Those lines around her mouth go slack, and that no-nonsense senator is back. 

“If someone drove it there and parked it, then most likely the target was Valasquez. It was dark, I couldn’t make out the faces of the men that drove it.” 

Noonan writes something down on the yellow pad beneath her hands. “And the perpetrators? Who sent the bomb?”

“Cali.” You say simply. “They’re sending a message that no one is safe unless they’re with them.”

Noonan nods grimly. She fixes those hawk-like eyes on you again. “And the second bomb?” 

“Insurance. I didn’t see it go off, but it looked like it was stationed at the exit behind us.”

“And where were you when the second bomb went off?” 

You swallow, mouth filled with smoke, and it feels like, for a second, that your guts are oozing out onto the table. You cross your arms to hold them in. 

“I don’t know. I was providing Agent Peña with cover when the explosion went off. There was a firefight, between the two cartels. Did I mention that? After the first bomb, the street erupted into an active warzone. They shot at us because they didn’t know who’s side we were on.” 

Noonan chuckles darkly, writing down something again. “I think a bomb going off would be enough to classify the situation as a warzone, but I understand your point.” 

She sighs and looks up. “We’re almost done. Just a few more questions. What happened after the second bomb went off?”

This is where it gets tricky. 

You’d think after a second bomb to go off within twenty feet of the first that there’d be noise. So much noise, for so much chaos. That much destruction cannot go quietly. But of all the things you remember about tonight, the first thirty endless seconds after you opened your eyes, sideways on the pavement, hip bones grinding into the rocks and debris, gun out of your hands and lost to the smoke, those were thirty seconds of silence.

You know if given time, you could parse it out, you could construct something like a timeline. But now, in this yellow smoky room, you can’t quite put it together. You remember people, people bloodied, people dead, you remember something about gathering up an old woman in your arms and dragging her until something inside you told you to stop. You remember you couldn’t find Javier, and the sinking, horrific dread that clawed into your bones. You remember EMTs and lights and the scream of sirens and the fires and the smoke. But you don’t know the order. 

“I don’t remember.” 

“You don’t remember?” Noonan frowns. “Were you cleared for release?” 

“I . . .”

You trail off, unable to find the words. You think you remember someone checking for a concussion. Yes, thick, square hands grasping your elbows, forcing you to look, look at him, are you okay, are you bleeding, are you hurt – 

“Yes, Senator, she was.” Javier’s voice is smooth, collected. He has his arms crossed against his chest and his left knee is bouncing. You know that look. He’s about ready to start cracking heads for a cigarette. “I saw it personally myself.” 

“Okay, but why –,”

“With all due respect, ma’am, it’s shock. Plain and simple.” You don’t understand why he’s taking that tone so you look at him. To everyone else, he appears bored, disinterested, eager to get out. But to you, he’s coming apart at the seams. His dark eyes haven’t left your face since you started speaking. “This was her first bombing.” 

Something about his words breaks through this numb little box you’ve found yourself in and you can feel the grime on your face pinch your skin as you frown at him. His mouth flattens; what are you looking at me like that for? 

“Is that true, Agent?” Noonan pulls your attention away from Javi. 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

Noonan rifles through a folder to her right, another line appearing between her eyebrows. “And reports say you helped at least five civilians to safety? You did that, while experiencing shock?” 

“I –,”

“Yes, she did.” Javier cuts you off and leans forward onto his elbows. He’s closer than he was before and you smell the smoke on him. “This agent performed admirably under intense pressure and I am officially recommending her for commendation.”

“Javier –,” you hiss as the air in your lungs evaporates. He won’t look back at you.

Noonan raises an eyebrow before putting her pen to the pad again. “Noted, Agent Peña.” 

“Please, don’t write–,” 

“Is there anything else, Senator?” Javier’s knee is incessant, liable to knock over the entire table in a single twitch. With a sigh, Noonan reaches over and switches off the recording. 

“No, Peña, there’s nothing else . . . for tonight. But you can bet your ass there’ll be a shitload of crap tomorrow. I wish I could tell you both to take tomorrow off, given the hell you just went through, but there’s already inquiries coming in from the press and the government. Both ours and Colombia. What a fucking nightmare . . .” 

She stands, collecting the folder and pad. She stares at you and Javier with unreadable eyes, a thick wall of distance brought about by exhaustion and concern. A house of cards straining to hold up bricks. 

“Go home. Eat. Shower. Sleep. As much as you can because tomorrow we hit the ground running.” You nod while Javier just watches her go, but she stops by the door, Lurch already moving down the hall. “And off the record, your country thanks you for your service.” 

Your stomach knots and she leaves, her heels clacking as she goes.

“Ready to go home?” Javier’s eyes are dark, soft. He’s filthy and he holds his hand out to you. You stand without taking it. 

“Yes.”

By the time, Javi parks his Jeep against the curb, you can feel a bone-deep ache settling in. Exhaustion is so palpable in the air you can almost taste it. Given five more minutes, you would have dropped your forehead against the window and gone to sleep. But you fought it. You drove back the aches and the dreams and the steady pull into a dark sleep because Javier was driving and if he is awake, so are you. 

The car engine shuts off, the air still warm from the heat outside, and Javi’s door opens and shuts. You fumble with the handle, pop it back, and almost stumble into the street. But he’s there. As if he had been coming around to get your door for you. 

You stumble down from his Jeep and his hands catch you around your shoulders, your waist. 

“Easy, easy,” he murmurs to a quiet street. This neighborhood in Botoga is empty this time of night, its residents asleep beneath blankets of darkness. His thumb rubs your waist once before letting go. You’re somehow upright and steady. His hand on your shoulder remains, grounding you, centering the unstable universe. “Can you walk?” 

You nod and your eyes fall to his hand on your shoulder, so he lets you go. He watches you take two steps, then go up into the apartment building. He’s always close by, a shadow you could never lose. 

He’s somehow even closer, more insistent, more there when you climb the stairs to your shared apartment on the second floor. If you breathe wrong, his hand will shoot out and snatch away whatever is causing you harm. You hear the jingle of keys behind you and you realize your purse is gone.

In the midnight blue hallway, it’s like he can see your thoughts as they cross over your eyes. He’s using his own key to unlock the door. “Everything recovered was taken in as evidence. Everything from the car and everything that was found. We can get it back tomorrow. I’ll talk to Noonan personally.” 

What makes you so special with Noonan, you want to say. But you can just picture your keys and purse and everything you held important to you sitting exposed in the evidence locker for anyone to rifle through. 

He pauses, as if expecting something from you, but when given only silence, he nudges open the apartment door with his shoulder and the familiar smell of home greets you in your time of need. It smells like the chilaquiles you made last week. It was Javier’s birthday and you didn’t forget and the look on his face when he walked in and instantly recognized the taste of home and –

He stands by the couch, taking up too much room, quietly thinking, the keys still in his hand. He’s so fucking broad.

With a sigh, he tosses the keys onto the coffee table and they clatter against the glass, the sound loud and ringing in the silence. 

That heady mixture of fatigue and exhaustion slowly peels back from your brain like water receding from the sand when he tugs that filthy ruined shirt out of his waistband. He scratches the back of his head like he’s trying to knock a thought loose before pinching his eyes. With a huff, as though frustrated, he finally looks at you.

“You wanna take the first shower?” His voice is rough, attached to the back of a truck and spun in gravely circles. 

  It takes you a minute to realize he’s talking to you.

“Oh, I was, I was just going to go to sleep,” you say honestly. “Just pass out, face first, you know.”

You smile, hoping that might relieve the tension that’s winding up in his shoulders like a batter taking aim. But it doesn’t. In the dark, you can’t quite make out the expression in his eyes. But you do see the whites, like searchlights, seeking you out in the smoke.

“Don’t let it sit with you. Don’t . . . hold onto it.” You think you might know the “it” he’s talking about but you aren’t sure. But his tone lessens as he continues, “just at least rinse off. I wanna check your bandages before we go to sleep.” 

The thought of Javier peeling back anything on you leaves you almost rooted to the spot. You want to move but you can’t. There’s a slow, expanding heat starting in your lower stomach, but you won’t acknowledge it. Won’t look at it directly. What the fuck is wrong with you? 

“Javier–,” his name is strangled in your throat, this entire night living somewhere between your memories and your windpipe. 

He’s over to you in a second, hands clutching your elbows, are you hurt, are you here – I can’t find you –

“What? What do you need? Do you need me to help you?” 

“Help?” Your voice is barely a whisper. You wonder if you press your thumb to the hollow of his throat, if your skin would come back gray and dirty, and there’d be a clear spot over his skin. His chest fills your vision.

“Yes. Do you need help getting into the shower?” 

Jesus Christ, I miss pussy.

The memory is so suddenly clear and loud and invasive you feel like you’ve slapped with the strength of it. You jerk out of his arms, scowling. 

“No. No. It’s not that.” You physically lift your arm to keep him back. “No. I’m . . . just make sure the front door’s locked, okay? I’ll be out of the shower . . . in a minute . . .”

You stagger backwards and his nostrils flare, teeth grinding in his jaw, and his eyes carry the ache you feel in your bones. 

“You’re in shock. Let me help you –,”

“I’m fine. Just winded.” Turning away from him, your fingers brush the wall to guide you in the etched darkness, the lines of things just barely visible. You slide out of your shoes as you go, unbuttoning your pants and not caring if he follows.

“Can I help you into the shower?”

“No.”

“Can I wait outside?”

“No.” 

“Can I sit outside the door, with it open just a crack? In case you fall.”

The fact that that was a mere possibility ran you cold. You pause with your hand on the bathroom door, the zipper of your pants undone. He’s a shadow in the dark apartment, neither one of you reaching for the lights, but you know he’s concerned, coming from a place of care, not condescension, or ire, or disgust. Something about tonight scared the shit out of him. 

You nod, allowing this one transgression, and go in before you see him move. As per his request, you leave a small crack in the door and then brace yourself for the light switch. You squint against the bright blaze, the pounding in your head flaring for a second as you slowly open one eye, then two, and your vision adjusts. You meet your gaze in the mirror and gasp.

“What? What is it?” His voice is panicked and you know if you don’t answer in a way that satisfies him, he’s going to break the door down. 

“I’m fine, Javi. I’m just . . . I just saw myself in the mirror and I look like I’ve been run over by a semi-truck.”

Silence. “It’s not as bad as you think,” he says simply. You can almost picture him huddled up by the door, not daring to step into the strip of light. “A lot of it is swelling and that’ll go down soon. Give a day or two.”

That’s not really what you meant, but the sentiment from him is overwhelming and for the second time tonight, you struggle to find your voice. 

“G-g-good to know.” 

You smother his response by turning on the water behind you. 

Hot. Scalding hot. You want to disintegrate into the steam. With your belligerent guardian hovering nearby, you unbutton your shirt and ease your jeans off down your hips. Everything was unsalvageable. You wonder if you could get a reimbursement for clothes caught in the crossfire, remembering the story Steve told you about the time Javi got his cash bribery to a cop paid back in full by the DEA. 

Despite the things you said to him in the car, and despite what you know about him, you know he’s not eyeing you through the crack. He would never. 

I wouldn’t brag about you to anyone, even if you lost. 

And I especially would never if you let me fuck you.

That heat blooms in you again and you quickly shuck off your underwear. The steam is overwhelming, soothing the singed insides of your lungs with a wet compress. You step under the water and bite back a gasp. Fucking Jesus, it hurts. It burns, but it feels like it’s stripping off layers and layers of dirt and grime and destruction and smoke and chaos and holy shit, you almost died –

“Javi.” His name is in your mouth before you can stop it. It’s so heavy there, you can almost taste it.

“Yeah?” He responds instantly, cautiously. 

“Uh, nothing. Sorry. I was just . . . just making sure you were awake out there.” 

“I’m still here.”

He sees through your bullshit so fast it makes you flinch in anger. You scowl at the floor, focusing on watching the gray water rush down the drain. You struggle to fully wash your hair – the bandages around your palms are completely soaked but don’t come off easily – and when you go to rub soap on yourself, you pass over your hips and hiss.

Yep, bruises. Purple ones the size of your fist, up your left side, and by your ribs. You remember waking up sideways, the blast having launched you off your feet and into the road. You were grateful you didn’t knock your head against anything permanent. And lucky nothing got pierced, shattered, or snapped in two. Or crushed or bent or displaced. Two bombs and you get to go home to your bed and sleep.

And so does Javi.

Even just imagining that Javi wouldn’t make it home ran a shudder through your body so painful, the water shooting out of the shower head could have been ice cold. But the images in your mind grow and distort, his eyes wide open and no life within, his body too mangled for identification, your consciousness and his separated forever or maybe lost together in the same snarling black pit of endless nothing – tears spring into your eyes so fast it hurts as sharpness clogs your throat. 

God, you came so fucking close to dying and all this petty bullshit that you’ve dragged him through just because you didn’t want to seem incapable, when in fact, he thought you were the most talented agent he’s ever seen – why the fuck are you doing this to him? The intensity in your chest swells but you beat it back, beat it down, as you wrangle back your belligerent emotions into the box where they belong. No, fuck, that’s stupid. He’s fine. You’re fine. This is what you trained for. You cannot afford to lose it now. This is standard operating procedure. He’s not crying so neither should you. Buck the fuck up. 

You stand there for a full minute, every muscle in your body locked to steady yourself, mouth twisted down, hands fisted, thighs clenched, thighs locking up at the memory of him, of his promises, of the line you nearly crossed before it all went to hell.

Just fucking relax and let me take you apart.

You release, eyes open, mouth apart with a gasp. Fuck, this is so fucked up. You wanted Javi alive and breathing, to annoy every day, and to rail you within an inch of your life.

I’d make it good. I’d make it so fucking good, I swear.

He is just outside that door. Just waiting for you to say the word. 

No. He didn’t go running into the next open bed just because he was sad or some shit. Sad or scared or whatever. No, you aren’t going to be that pathetic, no matter how badly you throb, no matter how much you ache, no matter how much you already know that your fingers won’t be enough – and you can’t even use them. Hissing from the hot water on your skin and the frustration that grows between your legs, you carefully, gingerly, knowing full well what would happen if you made any sort of unusual sound, stepped out of the bathtub and took a towel down from the shelf. You wrapped it around yourself, your skin warm and smarting, but no longer aching. 

The door hadn’t moved an inch. 

You brush your hair a few times out of habit more than anything else and squeegee it until it's no longer dripping. Now to face him. You knock on the door, feeling as though you should respect this boundary you made on both sides. 

“Uh, Javi,” your chest won’t let you forget you were near tears, or the three-hundred-and-sixty-degree turn that insatiable animal between your legs decided to make. You try again, firmer. “Javier, I’m done.”

“Do you want me to leave so you can go to the bedroom?”

Leave? Why would you want him to leave the apartment?

No. He’s asking if you don’t want him to see you in a towel. You can almost picture his broad hand on the other handle. A phantom over your own.

“N-n-no. It’s fine. I’ll just – I’ll just come out.” 

You pull back the door and he’s there against the door frame, his broad shoulders turned away from you like someone left the paddock door open and all you have to do is run, run free, run away –

“Thanks,” you murmur, not meeting his eyes as you slide past him. You don’t even fault him if he looks at your ass, but you make it to the bedroom. The bathroom door clicks shut behind you and your lungs release a pent-up breath. 

He was fucking right. Getting it off you does make it better. 

From your dresser, you grab just some underwear and your older brother’s old college t-shirt. It comes to your midthigh and that’s exactly what you need right now. You don’t want anything thick on you. The smell is comforting in a way you can’t describe and you inhale as all the tension eases from your body. 

You drop your towel over the handle of the closet, in which Javi had somehow managed to find space for his many collared shirts despite you swearing there was not an inch of room for him, when you see something on the floor by the dresser. Call it delusion from the events of the night, but you don’t recognize it for what it is until you pick it up . . . and immediately drop it when the realization hits you like a ton of bricks.

It’s a rag, one you both (horrifyingly) use to wash your face, and it’s stiff on the inside. Not full, but hardened. Vaguely you can still hear the shower running as you contemplate what this means. For all the shit you give him, you really didn’t think he would cheat and not fess up. No, this wasn’t him consciously cheating – the rag was too casually discarded for this to be considered evidence. This is something else. 

All of this – the bet, the rules, the fact that you actually included wet dreams – you decided on!

Twice now I’m pretty sure I’ve gone blind in one eye, listening to all that and not being able to do a goddamn thing about it.

This is . . . your freebie. 

Your face warms, your fingers flexing around the edge of your t-shirt. Holy shit. Wet dreams. Nocturnal emissions. Holy shit.

Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit. 

The shower turns off just as the warm rushes between your legs, unrestrained and unrestricted. You swear your mouth waters at the thought that you might find an ounce of relief, tonight. Even soon. Your thighs quiver. 

The bathroom door opens and you all but launch yourself under the covers. Your fingers are between your thighs before you can stop them, just there, a reminder of relief and you fight off a shiver. The respect he gave you slips into your mind the second before he rounds the corner into the bedroom and you snap your eyes shut, the covers to your chin. 

He moves in silence, but the things around him do not. The floor cracks where he walks. The dresser drawer groans as he opens them and shuts them. You think you hear the rustle of a towel falling, then fabric moving on skin, and the floor squeaks in protest as he walks back out of the room. 

You breathe out, the air hacked up and choppy as though through between blades. You take your fingers from between your legs, but the stickiness in your underwear remains, just as it has been for a month and a half now. You might be berating yourself – what kind of fucked up were you that this is your reaction to a near-death experience? – if the light at the end of the tunnel wasn’t so bright. You could take off that searing, serrated edge that’s kept you from sleeping well, from dreaming, remove your brain from the hot plate it's been sizzling in for a month and a half. You try desperately not to imagine Javi entirely naked as he moves about the room, but you can’t help it, not now that you’ve given yourself permission to marinate in those feelings, in that heat. Oh God, please can’t he just go to bed?

There’s a click and suddenly light blooms behind your eyelids. You squint open one eye to see him coming towards you with a medical kit in his hands. 

“I know you’re awake. Sit up and let me dress your hands.” 

The white gauze was damp and soggy from the shower, but you hadn’t really noticed. He sits down, just beyond where your toes are covered by your blanket, and sighs. 

“C’mon. Faster you do this, the faster we can go to sleep.” 

“Or we could just not. Just go to sleep now.” Just go over there. All the way over there. The bed sinks where he adjusts on your mattress and you swear you can feel his body heat through the covers. You bite your lip and force that whimper back down your throat. 

“It’ll get infected.” He taps your thigh under the comforter. “C’mon.”

You sit up but don’t give him your hands. He’s turned on the lamp light between your two beds, not the overhead light, and it blurs all the lines of his shoulders, his jaw, his hair. His white shirt is warmly golden and you realize you had been hoping he wasn’t wearing one. He still hasn’t looked up at you. Maybe he really is irritated that he’s not asleep yet, which you marvel at – you won’t be able to fall asleep for hours, even if you weren’t low throbbing between your legs. With a sigh that’s more practice than sincerity, you stick out your palms. The gauze and tape no longer sit right over your skin and you can now see the pink skin beneath it. 

Javi makes a noise in the back of his throat before digging around in the med kit for something. He pulls out a small pair of scissors and starts cutting back the gauze. 

“I could do this myself, you know.” It’s petulant and bratty but you didn’t think Javier Peña was capable of the delicate touch with which he holds your hand steady. 

“I know,” he says. “I wanted to do it for you.” 

It is painfully obvious that you absolutely could not do this unassisted but for the life of you, you can’t imagine why he’s humoring you. You watch him as he methodically cuts through the wet gauze, inordinately careful not to catch or drag the material. He cuts down between your third and fourth knuckle on both hands, and eases the gauze away.

Exposed to the open air, the wounds on the heels of your palms sting and you hiss. Javi, who just had his head in the kit, snaps his head up to you.

“Don’t–,”

But it’s too late, you’ve already turned over your hands. Angry, red, pulsing gashes, some so deep you can see muscle, sit in matching places at the bottom of your hands. Presumably, when you were thrown, you reached out to catch yourself and your hands and hips got the brunt of the impact. But your hips had your jeans over them while your hands had nothing.

“You don’t need stitches.” Javi’s gaze is heavy, his voice low. His hands loosely hold the new roll of gauze and tape. He looks like he’s bracing himself, that he’s worried you’re about to yell at him. “I checked with the EMTs. You don’t need stitches.” 

“Oh.” You won’t be able to properly close your hands for months. 

“They don’t think–,” his voice catches. “They don’t think it’ll scar either. Maybe a bit, but not so much that –,”

“Where were you?” Your question isn’t accusatory, but curious. You look up at him and he flinches. “I don’t see anything on you.” 

“You were closer.” The room is thick with his solemnity. “You were covering my right and I,” he swallows, his eyes fixated on your bloody hands, “I should have seen it coming.”

“Bullshit, Javi. No one could have seen that coming. No one could have stopped it.” His nostrils flare again and he not-too-gently takes your hand with his fingers. Your wrist looks so small in comparison to his fingers. He unwinds the gauze around your palm, and wraps it up against your wrist, securing it with tape, his movements tight and short. There’s real rage in his eyes.

“Yes, I could have.”

His fucking ego. It scratches against you until you feel your skin catch fire. You want to snatch back your other hand, but he’s insistent, not rough, but boasting no room for negotiation. “There’s nothing you could have done, you idiot. You’re not actually Superman.” 

He grinds his teeth. “I should have just done my fucking job.” 

There’s only so much you can take. This fucking man.

You snatch your hand back from him the instant the tape seals the gauze. 

“You’re fucking ridiculous, you know that?” His shoulders are lined with tension. You want to kick him off your bed. His fingers dig into your mattress. “You fucking follow me around like I’m liable to break apart and then you go and pull this shit.”

“What shit?” He growls as he angrily packs up the kit and drops it on the floor.

“This! This tough guy, I’m-fucking-invincible, John-Wayne bullshit. We were both there, Javier. Both of us were in the crossfire of not one, but two explosions tonight. So don’t act like I’m the only one upset. Don’t act like this didn’t affect you.” 

He goes still. His nails freeze in their excavation of your bedsheets, his shoulders hunched like he’s straining under some immense pressure. Just as you’re about to lift your eyes to find his, he stands – and moves closer to your end of the bed. You flinch, react, because this is not at all what you were expecting from him, and you pull your knees to your chest. 

His hand hovers over your knee. 

He’s so broad he eclipses the light until he’s all you see. There’s a twitch in his jaw and finally his hand settles down. His thumb rubs your skin once, as if to confirm you’re there. 

For the first time in your partnership, his face is unreadable to you. His gaze is dark, stormy, raging, but the corners of his mouth are pulled down and his breathing is sharp. His swallow unsticks his jaw from his upper teeth.

“I thought I lost you today.” His voice is firm. Solid. Unwavering. It had been building up against his teeth, around the soft palate of his tongue. It sat in his mouth and waited for its turn. His confession makes him braver. He sits, closer to you than he was in the car, closer to you than he’s ever been. He watches his hand on your knee. How close it is to your thigh. How easy it would be to slide down to your hip. And then he shakes his head, as though physically fighting back sleep. “Don’t ask me to talk about it. Okay? I can’t. Don’t ask me about it.” 

You can almost feel his gravitational pull. But you resist. You always resist.

It can’t be this easy for him. You can’t be this willing. You cannot be some stupid skirt for him or anyone to throw around.

“You told Noonan this was my first bombing, that I was in shock.” 

“You were. That’s why you don’t remember what happened clearly,” he says gently, no condescension, “it’ll come to you, in a few days. You just need time to process it.” He speaks from experience and it makes you so angry. He breathes out his nose and his hand retreats, sliding back down your calf, his fingers wrapping around your ankle as if you intended to fly away and he wasn’t going to let you.

“But then why did you make it sound like I couldn’t handle it?” It’s not in your imagination when his eyes go dark, mouth flatting, when he sees you just have underwear on underneath your shirt. You watch him as his eyelids fall heavy and his head turns, just a bit. 

What the fuck is wrong with you? No –

What the fuck is wrong with him?

“It has nothing to do with you,” he says softly, his gaze riding back up your knee, as slow and as steady as his hand. He stops in his touchless-roving of you and looks you in your eye. Now this look . . . this look you know. It was the same one he wore when he told you he wanted to ruin other people for you. “I’ve seen fully grown men curl up into a ball after experiencing what you went through. It was horrific. People died. There’s a natural reaction to these things. You’re only human.” 

It’s a sentiment that disgusts you. 

“And it’ll come to me too.” Javier admits. The words ring in the air, hovering, crawling into your ears, down your throat and taking root into your heart. Eyes never leaving your face, he suddenly comes forward, hand going across your hip, drawing his body over yours as you lean back as far as the headboard will let you go, but his broad shoulders have you pinned. You swallow a whimper in your throat. His head turns, and the electrons between the tip of his nose and your skin crackle. His breath is less close than he is. “It’ll come for me. I know it will.” He sighs as if your scent is soothing, “do you want me to help you forget?” 

Just his gaze has you in a stranglehold. If you move a muscle, you’ll touch him. The tendons in his forearms flex on both sides. 

“I-I-I want– I want–,” 

“Tell me, baby, tell me what you want.” His voice is honey smooth, glazed with sparks and fireworks. He says one thing when he means, let me kiss you. 

His nose drags down your throat, inhaling as if to savor, and he plants one chaste kiss on your collar bone, lets his lips linger. He’s tasting you for the first time. “What were you going to say? Do you need a reminder?” As quick and as hot as lightning, his hand leaves the mattress, eases around the back of your thigh and he presses his knuckles into the wet clutch of your underwear. He punches out a quiet groan as your breathing stutters – fuck, how did he know? “She seems to remember me pretty well. Remembers how I made her feel.” 

You snag him by the wrist, your other elbow quaking, your breathing small and tight. This is it, this is how it all ends. You look him in the eye, knowing whatever is rapidly expanding in your chest has made it into your gaze, into the set of your jaw, and Javi looks like he wants to drink whatever’s in your mouth right out of your lips.

“I found the rag.” 

Tonight’s full of firsts, it seems; Javier Pena fucking blushes. 

“That wasn’t– I was sleeping, that doesn’t count. I can’t control it.” 

Your breathing hitches, victory squeezing your lungs. 

“F-f-fine,” you murmur. Slowly, you push his fingers back into your wet panties. You think you might melt from the intensity of his stare alone, “but I want a f-f-freebie too.”

You watch as Javi’s irises plunge into darkness. 

“You want me to make you come, and it won’t count? The bet’s still on?” 

You nod, frantically, rolling your hips against his fingers and he hisses, yanking back from you. 

“Fucking finally. But we’re doing this my way.”

“What do you–,”

Snagging you by the hips, he twists you perpendicular to the bed as he sinks to his knees on the floor. Your heart is pounding in your throat as you watch him toss your knees over his shoulders, eyes fixated on that wet spot on your crotch.

“Javi, what the fuck are you doing?”

“Bed’s too small,” he murmurs, licking his lips, still focused on you. “Can’t stretch out with the dresser. Knees are gonna fucking kill me but . . .”

As though called, Javi drops his head and kisses where your clit would be over your underwear. All strength is suddenly zapped from your elbows and you flop back, the sound of his corresponding groan forever imprinted on your hips.

“Oh, fuck, Javi, what are you–,” 

His fingers curve around the waistband of your underwear and with his nose hovering just over where the waistline sits, he tugs, over one leg and then the other. You feel his breath warm over the dampness in the thatch of your curls and you cannot fight the noise that breaks out of your chest. Your fingers dive into his hair and he hasn’t even touched you. 

“Just the one, right?” He licks the inside of your thigh and you arch, just a bit. God, you are so oversensitive and it’s fucking embarrasing – but it’s been so goddamn, fucking long and it’s him.  

“Y-y-yes, just, just the one.”

He surges forward, mutters something that sounds like, “we’ll see”, and licks the entire length of your slit. 

He is relentless. He is relentless and talented and so very, very, very eager –

Head thrown back, you press your shoulders into the mattress as he licks the slick from your cunt, washing your clit with his spit and your slick. He plays there, twisting and swirling, and just at the peak of pleasure, he sinks two fingers into you and a moan rockets out of you. 

“JaviJaviJavi–,”

His responding moan sends shivers across your skin as he opens his jaw wider to lick you even deeper. He shifts attention, focuses on your fluttering cunt while his thumb makes laps around that sweet bundle of nerves. With every heartbeat, you can feel his hands, his tongue, the tip of his nose, flush with your slick. It’s like he’s bleeding you dry, wringing every bit of pleasure from you while he still can. 

His fingers pump hard and fast without warning and you jolt, thighs tensing, sending a crackle down your spine that thrusts your hips into his face. Oh god, they are so much bigger than your own fingers. Oh god, he’s right. Oh god, oh god, oh god –

 The white-knuckled terror of what happened tonight snaps in half as your back arches against his chest. You can feel the hold it had on you crack as he beckons you forward, beckons you back to that knife-edge of relief, as he drags you out of this broken, horrified shell. How did he know exactly what you needed? That coil springs red hot and tight, pleasure rocketing between your legs and up your spine. 

“Worst thought I had all night was that I’d never get back inside this sweet pussy,” he mutters into your thigh. He doesn’t even ask when he adds a third finger, his other hand ridiculously stroking under your knee, as if you’d ever be calm, ever be rational again. 

“Do you hear that, baby? She’s crying for me. She missed me so much,” he grunts directly into your sopping wet pussy. He groans at the sound. Eyes fluttering, he drops his head and licks around your clit again, his wrist snapping against you so roughly you bounce up the mattress.  

Goddamn it, Javier. 

Your core starts to flutter, this orgasm that has been mounting for weeks every time you look at him roaring down on you. It's the one from the car that’s been lurking just out of sight. It’s the one from when you sat on the toilet as he paraded around topless, so consumed with hatred and blind lust you couldn’t move. It’s the one that sparked out, unwanted and unbidden when he smirked at you over his desk, and said, “fine, I’ll take your fucking bet.”

Your nails scratch at his head, fingers knotting his hair, that enormous, crushing orgasm just out of reach, with every muscle in your body extended out to reach it – if you could just get a finger on it –

“You come for me, now. Only me.” His gaze is transfixed on you, mouth, chin, cheeks shining in the low light, but the blazing in his eyes has a direct line to the white-lighting thundering behind the thrust of his fingers. Your eyes roll back in your head as he flicks his wrist faster, the precision of his thumb on your clit mind-numbing. 

“Oh, Javi, Jesus Christ, I—,”

“Just let me take you apart.”

He curls his fingers, and sucks on your clit hard. 

You’re launched. 

Launched off the ground. Into the stratosphere. White noise, propelling you higher and higher, static where your limbs should be. 

There’s the height, the peak, the intensity almost burning out your nerve-endings to numbness, you’re pretty sure you’ve stopped breathing, toes curled against his back, heels digging into his spine –

– and then –

– and then –

He french-kisses your cunt and you slam back down so hard you curl inwards. It knocks you flat back against the mattress, your fingers ooze away from the crown of his head and flop against your stomach. You do not possess the willpower or ability to open your eyes. The warmth between your legs settles, purrs, satiated.  

“J-Javi,” you try and speak through a completely dry mouth. “J-Javi, come here.” 

He grunts, uh-uh, and slowly, as feeling returns to your legs, you feel his hands around your hips, fingers pulling you down, down into his open mouth where he’s still –

You whimper, that simmer ticking up again. There is no energy left inside of you to stop him, and you don’t want to. Not really. Not when he’s rocking you smoothly, gently with three fingers, through your first high and leading you towards another. He twists his wrist, middle finger brushing you yourself could never quite reach and your hips buck up, wavering on the edged line between pain and pleasure. He presses a wet, salty kiss into your hip bone, keeping you still. 

Your own breathing seems to set you off, as if any movement at all is liable to heat that spark, make you clench tighter and tighter on his fingers. “Javi, please – it’s only-only supposed to be the o-one–,” 

He groans, rubbing his forehead against you as his fingers plug you up again and again. He licks a patch of skin just below your hip bone and you shiver. 

  “You come for me when I tell you to come,” he tongues your clit and you twist, not entirely overstimulation, but god it makes you ache. “You come, you frustrating hermosita, and you let me give you as many orgasms as I want and you forget this stupid fucking bet–,” 

Your trembling thigh pulls out of his grasp, heel digging into his shoulder, and with a jerk you pry him off you, out of you, and your second orgasm is wrenched away from you so fast, you actually black out for a second. You kick out, gasping in shock and agony, and he falls back on his ass on the floor. But you were too close, on the heels of what quite possibility was the biggest orgasm of your life, too sensitive and freshly fucked. A gyroscope of blinding heat and pulsing wet, you’re oscillating between pain and pleasure, and you clamp your legs shut, hand springing to your mouth. This is it, this is the moment you cry, the moment you break down. You can’t take it anymore. Not after a month, not after all this time as his partner, not after almost dying–  

You feel like your body is actively rebelling against you, punishing you for being so fucking stupid. 

And you know you’re being stupid too, but it's a reaction. It’s an instinct at this point – self-preservation above all else. Groaning, you roll onto your side, trying to breathe through it, trying to swallow it all down – but your thighs – they’re sticky, and wet, and you can feel your slick all the way down to the curve of your ass – and it makes you just –

“I knew I shouldn’t have mentioned the bet,” and he laughs. Easy, a little disbelieving, but not angry. You wrench your eyes open, mustering all that throbbing into a glare that you hope burns his skin. He’s climbed into the far end of the bed, leaning back against the dresser at the foot of your bed, thick cock fully tenting his shorts, but looking so smug you want to kick him again. You weakly bat at his ankle with your toe.

“Y-you . . . shut the fuck up,” you groan, your thighs quavering. You gulp down air, seeing

the other side of it, but it’s not going away fast enough. 

He sighs, adjusting himself in his pants, but not trying to hide in the slightest. “Stop squeezing. You’re making it worse.” 

“What?” you pant. 

Javi wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, eyes dark, then lifts his hands, a universal white-flag, and he gently takes your ankle, pulling it back across the mattress. It spreads your legs, the cold air in the room against your overripe and exposed cunt almost tickling, but the pressure lessens, eases. You might have been embarrassed to be so completely exposed to him but you stopped worrying about dignity a long time ago. 

“Relax. And breathe.” 

You throw your crossed wrists over your forehead, sucking in lungfuls of air, as he slowly parts your thighs as they finally stop shaking. Inhaling, exhaling, you bury the sensation until it isn’t overwhelming anymore. He gently thumbs your ankle.  

“There you go. You did it . . . whatever it is you’re trying to do.” You open your eyes to his smile, no longer smug, but a little delirious. He shakes his head, laughing a bit as he looks at the ceiling. “Do you feel better?”

You scowl at him and haul yourself to the other end of the bed, closing your legs that have completely turned to jelly. You curl away from him. 

“No, you fucking asshat, I don’t feel better.” You eye his still-tented pants. “Do you?” 

He sighs, a fraction of his control slipping, and he traces mustache with his forefinger and thumb. 

“Not particularly.” He watches your ankles move on the blankets with interest, gaze hardening as it curves over your thigh. “So what’s your next move? What’s your plan?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“You’re just going to deny yourself, forever?”

“No, just until you come first. Then, fuck, I think I’m going to join a swingers club.”

“Not funny.” 

“It is if you’re me.”

His cock is softening, easing back down, and he sulkily rubs himself. The hum between your legs has finally gone to sleep. You could turn your foot and brush his calf. This bed is definitely not meant to hold two fully grown adults. 

You can tell he’s itching for a cigarette. 

“Why do you want to win so much?” He crosses his arms, contemplative instead of sour. “I mean, you prove to them that you have more willpower than the rest of the building combined and every man at the DEA knows not to fuck with you. But then what? What do you get then?”

You push back with your shoulders, turning so that you’re facing him, your foot now near his knee. There’s a birthmark on his left inner thigh you’ve never seen before. Never before has anyone tried so hard to understand you. 

“Peace,” you answer, the answer coming to you immediately. “Quiet. I can finally do my job without worrying about some mouth-breather taking a photo up my skirt.” 

His eyes darken, an unsettling rage sparking to life. “Did someone actually do that to you?”

You pick at a thread on your shirt. “It’s none of your concern. And if it did, you don’t have to worry because I fucking launched his camera out the third story window.”

“Good. But I want you to tell me who it was.”

“No.”

“Why?” 

“Because I don’t need you to fight my battles.”

“What if this was just for me? What if I don’t want to work with a fucking asshole who takes pictures of my female colleagues? What if I’ve had a shitty month and a half and I want to kick someone ass, huh?”

You sit up a little straighter, his diatribe flushing something warm inside you. He shakes his head, but you can see his gears turning about how to sneak employee records from the old lady in HR. But he brings himself back to the moment, to you.

“Okay, so peace, quiet. Fucking dead men who take pictures up your skirt. What now?”

“Now I live uninterrupted. My work is judged on its merit not what’s between my legs. I’m finally left alone.”

“Alone? Isn’t that . . . well, lonely?” 

“Doesn’t matter when you’re queen of the mountain,” you smile. And that’s what you always believed. That was the goal. That was the end. Whatever you had to crawl your way through, whatever monstrous form your ambition took, there was always the mountain. 

Javi chews on the skin behind his bottom lip as he looks at you. If there ever comes a time when he’s not frowning at you, there’s something probably very wrong. 

And then he turns his head, as if seeing a light in the distance. 

“So you’re queen of the mountain top. Ice queen, frost witch, all alone.”

Something in his voice tears at a vulnerable place inside you. “Javier, don’t. Just drop it, okay?”

“All alone and no one to call you a monster. What was your phrasing, a nagging bitch?” 

“Get off my bed, Javier. Right now. Get out.”

“If I make you come first, I’ll tell everyone I went first.” His brown eyes catch the lamplight and burn gold for an instant.

You tuck your legs underneath you, your heart rate doubling. He’s cutting a line through your emotions, jerking you back and forth between anger, sadness, embarrassment, fear — you’d swear he was using a scalpel. 

“Why is it so fucking important to you that I get off?” You snap. “Why do you want to be the one to do it? Why did you t-touch me like that? Why do you care?”

He moves quicker than he has all night, probably now that he knows you can’t out run him. That you don’t actually want to. You want him to catch you every single time. Javi crawls forward, follows your legs up to your chest, and cages you between his thighs. Your feet slid under the space between his calves and the mattress. 

He’s not trying to crowd you, not trying to intimidate you. But he does want you to be overwhelmed by him. To let only him exist in your mind. 

Gently, but this time because he wants to savor every delicious second, he takes your hand again and kisses your wrist, eyes closed. 

“Cariño,” he murmurs in his native language and it’s like someone dropped a bucket between your legs. Your cunt bottoms out at that single word. His other hand scoops down around your waist, encouraging you forward, and of course you go willingly, until you’ve got your thighs around his hips and your head tucked into the curve of his neck. He breathes deep . . . And he holds you. Just holds you. 

It’s so raw you’re trembling. 

He lifts the collar of your shirt and presses his lips to your skin. 

“Te han lastimado antes. No otra vez. No conmigo.” He puts his forehead against your temple. “You know exactly why I care. I thought it was obvious when I nearly lost my goddamn mind in the street tonight. I couldn’t find you in the smoke. I knew I was being too obvious, but I couldn’t care. It was written all over my face.” 

He’s plucking back your exposed wiring, to the meat of you. To the fleshy tender bits. The thing you always feared the most.

And yet, with him, it doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t feel like you’re losing, when he discovers your secrets. When he learns the truth of you. And more importantly, he doesn’t flinch away. 

That’s quite literally never happened before. 

Tears flood your eyes before you can stop them and you bury your face in his throat. You’ve gotten very good at silent crying but a single breath and he has his broad hands rubbing up and down your spine. 

“I think even Noonan knows. But what’s she gonna do?” He snorts, characteristically cavalier about his career in the face of what he finds most important. 

You feel very small against his chest, a position you never wanted to be in your most terrifying nightmares. 

  But looking back, there’s a lot you would tell your past self.

You lift your head, not trying to hide your tears as you gaze up at him. “Noonan knows what, Javi?” 

His smile is sad, still disbelieving, but warm. Gentle. Loving. It pricks at your heart. 

“Ask me again in the morning, baby. Okay? Pregúntame entonces.” 

You nod and he wipes back the streaks of tears with his thumbs. 

“Can I please make you come now?” 

You swallow, that heat sparking from his hands on your cheeks, down your spine, and into the very center of you. 

“Okay.” 

You reach forward and cup the back of his head, fingers twisting into his hair, and you realize this is the first time you've ever touched him like this. You sniffle. 

“Okay, Peña. Do your worst.”

He snorts. “It’s not supposed to feel like ripping off a bandaid.” 

Logically, you don’t disagree. But . . . 

“I know.” 

Do you?

His eyes search your face, his hand on your cheek almost firm as if inspecting you. “We’ll come at the same time, alright? No winners, no losers, just us.” 

You nod frantically, eyes tracing his lips, his nose, his chin. “Yeah. Just us. Just us, Javi.”

“Only us,” he murmurs breathily, gaze locked onto your mouth, and your hands tighten around the back of his neck. Shifting more into his knees, his fingers tug at his shorts, dragging them down over his hips and once you realize what he’s doing, your pulse instantly skyrockets. 

His waistband slips down and his cocks springs free, tapping against your thigh and it’s suddenly too real – his arm around you is crushing the wind out of you, but it’s not enough and too much. Is that what was in his jeans? Is that what he rubbed up against the steering wheel over and over again?

“I’m gonna do it right, I swear,” he promises your sternum as he knees out of his shorts. “I’m gonna eat your pussy for as long as you can take it, but I –,” 

His gaze flickers to your hand as you drop your shirt off the side of the bed and he stills for just a second. Then he looks back up at you, those dark brown pupils blown wide in lust and awe, and you feel the air sucked from your lungs. You are, in every sense of the word, naked in front of Javier Peña. 

“Fuck,” he murmurs, pulling you closer, pulling him on top of you, your nipples rubbing roughly against his shirt. He sucks two of his fingers into his mouth, to ready you, but you shake your head, the lack of oxygen in your brain making you slightly light-headed as if you’ve been tumbling down the side of a hill. 

“It’s fine, Javi, I just need – I want –,”

He nods because he understands you – he fucking sees you, he always, always had – and he lifts your thighs. His breath shortens in anticipation as he works your hips, your damp folds rubbing against his length. 

“I’m gonna – I’m gonna do it right, I s-swear –,”

Your nails dig into the back of his neck and he groans. 

“Javi, just do it now.” 

He settles you down and lets the weight of you take him in, inch by agonizing inch, up into your warm, dripping center. After almost two months of aching emptiness, the sudden burst of pleasure nearly knocks the wind out of you. 

“Oh, fuck,” the stretch is magnificent, ecstacy rippling through you, and you claw yourself closer to him. He grunts in your ear and his other hand latches onto the headboard.

“Ngh– fuck, I know.” 

He grip on your waist tightens, either fighting the urge to come or fuck up into you, as you sink down onto him. Your eyes flutter and you feel sweat spark out down your spine. Your hand lifts the back of his shirt and you press your palm into the small of his back.

“Take-take this off.” He complies, shifting you both and you open-mouth gasp at the change in pressure. He sags forward, his head on your shoulder, and his forearm binding you to him. His teeth nip at your skin.  

Nothing has ever felt this good. Nothing in your entire life.

God, he is going to ruin you.

“Javier, please move—,” 

He nods, and sits back. “Yeah – yeah, okay –,”

He rolls his hips once and fuck, you are never going to do this to yourself again. It’s not just that you haven’t had sex in almost two months but you had been teasing yourself around him, some primal part of your brain throwing a fit that you didn’t give into your baser instinct for him. It was him specifically that wound you tighter than a wet knot and now you are in danger of coming so hard and so fast from just a single thrust.

He shifts you more so your weight is more on top of him, pressing your low back closer, and finally he starts rolling his hips, dragging the length of him just enough out. You swear you can follow the line of your orgasm on the lines of his hips. 

“I just – I need to take the edge off–,” He confesses to your throat, in a low, wrecked voice. “Just a bit.” 

“I don’t care, Javi,” you squeeze your thighs and you can hear the headboard groan behind you. “Just move!” 

He bucks up into you, rougher, all in one go, giving himself over to your demands, to his own and starts hammering into your hips. It hurts, but fuck it feels good too. He sets a pace that has your mouth go slack, his hip bones rubbing right up against your clit over and over and over again, overheating every inch of your skin and making your mouth water. You think you feel him up in your cervix. 

“Fuck, why did we wait so long to do this?” he murmurs against your jaw. “Huh? Been living with you for a month – nghh – this’s what we could’ve been doing instead?”

You wrap your arms around his shoulders and pull your warm tits against his chest. He groans, and his fingers slip down to the bottom of your spine, one resting against the crack of your ass. 

“Month in a half–,” you correct him breathlessly. “‘ve had to watch you walk around topless in the morning . . . for a month and a half.” 

He releases something between a growl and a groan from his chest and he drops you a bit, angling his hips down, and you gasp at the angle. You lean back and scrape your nails down his chest. 

He drops his mouth open and sucks one of your nipples into his mouth, rolls it between his teeth, flicking it with his tongue. When you jolt, he seeks out the other one, nipping just hard enough it makes you gasp.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, Javi–,”

“You like that?” he smirks, his sideburns damp, “yeah, you do.”

You barely nod before he turns you both onto the bed, but he grabs your knees from his hips and splits them. Switching from that rough bounce, Javi grinds his cock deeper into you, brushing a place inside of you that flicks the heat like a lighter. You want to hold your legs open for him. 

“Can’t wait to see you come like this,” he grunts. His hand leaves your knee and starts to tease your clit again. You’re leaking into the mattress, your cunt fluttering as though electrified. “See you turn off that fucking gorgeous brain of yours. Maybe then you’ll be nice to me.” 

“Never.”

He smirks above you and you can’t help but grin back. 

“You’re such a tease, you know that?” His grinds are long, deep, allowing for the sound of your cunt sucking him in to punctuate the silence. 

“Only for you.” You want to take it back the second it's out of your mouth, but you can’t and he is . . . the expression on your face, it makes him bite down on his back molars. 

His eyes flutter and he rewards you with a swift rub on your clit. You shudder, feeling so full, you can barely form sentences, much less words.

“Yeah? Only me?” His damp hand leaves your clit and slides up your ribs, taking his time as he fucks you so deep, you’re going to feel it tomorrow in your guts. He cups the heavy flesh of your breast, and circles your nipple with his thumb. You arch into his touch and his mouth drops. “All this – just for me, baby?”

You squeeze him once, your fingers wrapped around his forearms, and his rhythm slips. “You fucking heard me the first time. Don’t stop.”

He slows, his irises jet black and wide, lust-blown. His sweaty chest heaving, droplets running down the back of his neck, he pins you to the mattress with just his gaze. His hips draw little figure eights and you fight to keep your eyes from rolling back, to force that oncoming orgasm at bay.

“Still with that mouth. That goddamn attitude.” 

You swallow, because oh god, you’ve really done it now. “Yeah. I remember something about fucking that attitude out of me.”

His head cocks to the side. His hands leave your knees, hovering as they tease the microscopic hairs on your skin, until he’s braced over you. You wrap your legs around his hips, bringing them down to you.

“Do you want that?” He husks, nose trailing over yours, then your mouth, your chin, as drops of sweat patter onto your neck, your chest. The Bogota heat is really unforgivable. You know you’re staining your sheets with multiple fluids. “You want me to fuck the attitude out of you?”

“A lady never repeats herself,” you mutter, your hands combing through his damp curls. “Javi, I’m so close, please. . .” One of those disbelieving eyebrows arch up. He doesn’t seem to hear you.

“A lady, huh? Well, I wouldn’t be a gentleman if I came first, so why don’t you just . . .” He unwinds one of your legs from his hips, balances it over his shoulder, and grinds down. Your snarky retort is lost to the recess of your brain and the tension flares within you, forcing a breathy moan out of your mouth. His gaze follows your nose as you arch back and come down. “There we go, just needed it right, huh?”

“Just–,” thrust, “a little–,” thrust, “attention–,”

“God, Javi–,” you cry out. 

His new pace is even more staggering than the last. At this angle, you feel like you’re being split up, carved out, taking him in until there’s more of him than you. His thrusts are just as deep as the last but harder, rougher, faster–

Oh, god, so fast, so, so, so fast–

He’s fucking you down into the mattress and you deliriously consider the sturdiness of this fucking twin bed. It squeaks and rocks.

“So fucking tight,” Javi mutters to himself more than you, his jaw locked. “So fucking good.” 

You’re right at the peak in a fraction of the time, your walls no longer fighting him. He groans deep as you start to flutter, start to come– when he stops – again.

“Javi,” the halting of your orgasm is officially painful, your stomach tight and your cunt clenching. And fuck, you’re crying. “Javi, please, please don’t stop. I’ll do anything. Anything you ask, but please, please let me come.”

  He half-chuckles, half-pants as he lifts your hips up and sets a pillow down under them. 

“When I said I was going to fuck you and make it good, I meant it. Besides,” he swings your other leg over his shoulder again, rocking over you and nearly splitting you in half. He fills you in a single, rough stroke and at the new angle, where he’s deeper than ever, and now the tears stream out the corner of your eyes as you gasp at the sensation. “I thought you said you didn’t want to come.” You whine, high-pitched and needy, as he drags all the way back out and plummets down again, making you feel every inch of him. You’re a sobbing mess when he does it again.

“Fuck, Javi, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please keep doing that–,”

With little half-thrusts, he kisses your left temple, right over where the tears flowed into the sheets. 

“You did everything right tonight.” You split open your watery lashes to see him watching you. He looks about as wrecked as you feel, brow furrowed, cheeks pink. How does he fucking maintain control like this? “You’re doing everything right. You did so good. But let me do this. I want to – I’ve wanted, for s’long –,”

Your breathing stutters between the tears and his words. You can only nod, your bottom lip trembling, as Javi picks up his speed again, steady at first, then harder. He grunts with every stroke, like he’s trying to prove something. The slap of hips against yours is outrageous. Every thrust threatens to shatter the very center of you. Detonate something precious and vulnerable inside of you. 

“You’re close, aren’t you? God, I can feel it. I can fucking feel it.”

He thrusts down more, faster, like he’s chasing you, chasing your orgasm. He grits his teeth, neck muscles corded. He hitches your leg higher.

“C’mon, ba-by, that’s- it, that’s it– lemme fe-el it–,”

But you are seconds away and he’s still not there, still sprinting after you. So you do the only thing you can think of.

You lean up, your knee falling off his shoulder, and you kiss him. Hand clutching his neck, you kiss him with every last ounce of your awareness, of self-preservation, of fucking adoration because this man is the only creature on the planet with a willpower to match your own. And you fucking love it. 

He grunts and thrusts one more time and that’s it.

Your vision whites out, your thighs trembling, tension snapping, and sends you hurling over the edge. Both of you over the edge. You whine against his mouth, as he cock drives deep, deep within you one last time. You feel his warm ropey cum paint the inside of you, cock twitching, your walls rippling, sucking him dry, and his entire body sags down into you. You have to turn your head to breath, to gasp in air, oxygen flooding your brain, and he pants into your neck. His bicep trembles where he’s trying and failing to keep his weight off you. 

“Jesus, fuck–,” he mutters against your skin, the sweat on his forehead mixing with your own wet salt. He’s shaking above you, his pulse pounding so hard in his neck, you feel it on your skin. You wonder vaguely where he can feel your pulse. He takes a few more steadying breaths before lifting his head slightly.

“This isn’t how I usually do things after,” he pants between words, “but, uh, there is literally no room for me to roll off you.”

You laugh, the motion stealing precious air from you, you can feel your stomach expand against his, and he finally meets your gaze. You eye the embarrassing lack of space in this ridiculously tiny bed. 

“And here I thought you just wanted to cuddle.” This close, you feel the flush of his breath as he chuckles. “Here, lean up a second.” 

He groans, “mi jodida espalda. Creo que me desgarré un músculo,” but manages to get high enough for you to scoot to the edge of the bed and he dips his shoulder into the open space between you and the wall. Your bodies are so tightly pressed together, he manages to stay inside of you the whole time. 

With anyone else, you would have just gotten out of the bed. Moved away. You’ve never been one to linger after sex – either your partner was already asleep or you had better things to do – but Javi seemed intent on studying your face as his breathing slows and your heart rate eases. His softening cock slips out of you and you fight a groan at the sensation. He tucks his bicep under his head like a pillow. Sweat rolls over his tight muscle. 

“What? No post-cigarette sex?” You smirk to cover the rising blush on your cheeks, the longer he stares. “No slap on the ass, ‘wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am’?”

His face is expressionless when he asks, “is that what that was to you?”

You swallow, feeling a bit like you’re being scolded. “No, of course not, I just–,”

“Good. It wasn’t like that for me either.”

He cups the back of your head and brings you closer, closer than you possibly could be, and kisses your mouth, soft, easy, with a hint of tongue.

Something sickening like adoration claws through your chest because fuck, what if he doesn’t ever kiss you like that again? What are you going to do when he walks through the office doors coated in another woman’s perfume, his scent all over her and –

You break apart, hands on his chest. His brow furrows.

“What? What did you think about just now?”

Like he wants to know what’s going on inside your brain. 

“So we tied. What a great story that’ll be. I’m sure the office will laugh themselves silly on how we both won and lost at the same time–,” 

He says your name firmly, once, with his fingers wrapped tightly around your bicep. He cuts off your ramblings instantly.

“Stop,” he begs quietly. “Why are you talking like that, querida? What are you thinking about?”

His dark brown eyes are sad, hurt even. Why do you keep pulling away from me?

It’s been such a long night. It’s been such a long month. Year. You’ve been fighting for so, so long and all it takes is for him to knock at your door, and everything comes crashing down. You feel exposed, a live wire, a nerve rubbed raw – too much, Javi, too much – and tears rim your lashes before you can stop them. You shrug, the vice grip around your throat painful and choking. You shrug weakly, unable to meet his eyes.

“I’m just preparing myself for something funny to tell the bullpen when you walk in after you’ve fucked the secretary on the second floor. She’s been eying you for months and it wouldn’t be fair to deny her!” Your voice swings, high-pitched and pathetic on that last word, and you clamp your mouth shut, tears rushing down your cheeks. You expect him to sit up, snarling, grab his clothes and storm out the door. It would be fair. It is what you would do if he tried to pull the same bullshit you are right now. It’s too late to act like an adult right now, but at least you can try and salvage something. “You don’t owe me anything, Javi. Not after this. Not after this insane crap I put you through. I didn’t have any expectations then and I don’t now. You don’t owe me anything.” 

Your gaze focused on the crux of his elbow. 

“Can you please look at me?” Soft. Gentle. Patient. But firm. Brimming with shame, you lift your eyes up to him. 

Brown eyes. Sad. Hurt. He wipes your tears with his thumb, before cradling your neck. He runs one finger up and down the skin in a motion that is instantly soothing. He watches you, cautiously, and then he brings his face forward, his lips catching yours as his finger strokes your chin. He kisses you until you’re flat on your back and the tension eases from your shoulders, from your fingers, your mouth. When your lips freely receive him, he pulls back, hovering over you, hand gently settling on the cup of your jaw. 

“Since I’ve clearly not been able to convince you with anything else I’ve done, I’m just going to come out and say it.” His nose flares and he nips at his bottom lip before opening his mouth and saying, “I like you. I really like you. I really, really like you and more importantly, I want to date you. Only you. No one else. Do you understand that?”

Your mouth hangs open and a brush of his thumb makes you shiver and shut it.

“Nod so I know you understand.”

Slowly, you nod. 

“I’m not going to hurt you. Let me prove that.” He shifts closer and you nod frantically. “I’m going to take you out and we’re going to drink, you’re going to try and dance very badly . . . I’m not going to let anything bad ever happen to you.” 

And, fuck, you believe him. You do. You really do.

His lips press a promise into yours and you swallow the swelling emotion. He’s making you feel small but that’s suddenly not so bad. He pulls back and you can feel a grin spread across his lips. 

“So, now that I’ve seen you naked,” he whispers against your skin. “Does this mean I can finally be in the shower with you?” 

“Sure, but lemme take out that camera I put in there first.” He smirks as he pinches your nipple and you giggle as you slip off the edge of the bed. “What? I was very committed to winning the bet.”

“Oh, yeah? Had no idea.”

He lets you pull him to his feet and he stumbles into you. He kisses you again, crowding you to get moving.

If someone had told you that this is where all of it, everything, would end up . . .

You wouldn’t have believed them

The END

[pintsizemama]

Heroes & Heartbreak

Chapter 21

Summary: Javi and Steve worry about Ari after Carrillo’s funeral. Maritza is dealt with. Javier makes use of his questionable new friends, and Ari comes to a devastating decision.

Pairings: Javier Peña x OFC Ariana Morgan—DEA Agent and daughter of Pablo Escobar

Fandom: Narcos

Rating: Mature 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 6,512

Warnings: language, grief, death, violence, angst…let me know if I missed anything, and I’ll happily add it here!

A/N: I’m back! I’m so sorry I disappeared for so long. I’ve been working on an original novel I’m planning to publish, and life got away from me. I’m hoping to wrap up season 2 this month and then move into season 3 and the final phase of this story.

I included conversations from the episode to help anyone who hasn’t seen it or hasn’t watched it in awhile. Sorry if it feels redundant if you’ve seen the show a million times like me.

As always, feel free to let me know if I need to correct the Spanish translations!

Chapter 20 Chapter 22 Series Masterlist Masterlist AO3 Join my taglist

Three days.

It had been three long days since Carrillo’s funeral, and Ari hadn’t left their room. She had barely left her bed. Javi and Steve—who had returned from Bogotá the day after the funeral—had tried everything to help her, but nothing was working. Javi sat at his desk, an untouched cigarette burning between his fingers as he stared at the piece of paper Judy Moncada had given him. He hadn’t moved on the intel yet. He’d been too worried about Ari. He didn’t even know if it was still good. Maritza could be anywhere by now, but he couldn’t bring himself to go. He refused to leave the building until he knew Ari was ok. The hand not holding the cigarette clenched and unclenched unconsciously. Steve eyed him.

“What’s our play here, Javi?” Steve asked quietly. “I know she needs time, but…I’m scared for her.” Javi’s hand shook as fear overtook his body.

“She hasn’t had anything to eat or drink in days,” Javi said hoarsely. “I don’t think she’s slept more than a handful of hours.” He put the cigarette out and rubbed his hands over his face. He felt twice his age. “She’s wasting away from before my eyes, and there’s nothing I can do to help her.”

“I know,” Steve said. “I don’t know what else to do. Hell, she didn’t even respond when we told her Sandoval had called to say goodbye.” Eduardo had taken the fall for the disaster that resulted in Carrillo’s death, so Gaviria wouldn’t lose his position. Steve sat back with a loud sigh. “Do you think we need to call in a professional?”

“What? A shrink?” Javi asked. He turned to Steve.

“Maybe not a shrink, but a doctor,” Steve clarified. “At least to get some fluids and stuff in her.”

“After today, I don’t think we have any other choice,” Javi said gruffly. “She’s got to be dangerously dehydrated at this point…unless she’s gotten some water while we’ve been working, but still, it can’t be enough.” He ran his hands through his hair. “Fuck it. I’m gonna pin her ass down and force food and water in her today. It’s either that or we admit her to the hospital.” He swallowed thickly as tears sprang to his eyes. “I’m not gonna lose her too,” he whispered.

“We’re not losing her, Javi,” Steve said sternly. He glanced over Javi’s head and his eyes widened. “Holy shit.” Javi turned to see what had caught Steve’s attention. Ari was walking towards them, showered, dressed, and looking ready for work. She sat at her desk and began rifling through her paperwork.

“Morning,” she offered cheerily. They sat in stunned silence, just staring at her. She looked up when they didn’t respond. “What?”

“You’re here,” Javi whispered in awe.

“Where else would I be?” She asked. “It’s a work day last I checked.”

“Are you ok, Ari?” Steve pressed gently.

“I’m fine,” she replied instantly.

“Ari—” Javi began.

“—I’m fine,” Ari repeated. “I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to move forward, focus on work.”

“Are you sure?” Steve asked.

“Yes,” Ari said with a nod. “Believe me, the only thing I care about right now is making sure Escobar gets what’s coming to him. So, let’s focus on that, hmm?”

“Ok,” Steve said after a pause. Javi said nothing. He just stared at her. She kept sorting through her papers, mostly ignoring them for several minutes.

“I’m alright, stop staring at me, Javier,” she said without looking up. He startled and felt his cheeks heat at being caught.

“I’m worried about you,” he said softly. She set her work down and looked up at him.

“I know,” she said with a gentle smile, “and I love you for that. But it’s ok. This is how I deal with shit. I was back to work the same week my mom died. Just let me handle my trauma my way, and you handle yours your way.” Javi swallowed audibly. It took everything in him to push back his need to protect her, his desire to fix everything.

“Alright, hermosa,” he agreed. “Let’s get this motherfucker.”

“Too bad she couldn’t stay longer,” Ari said to Steve a couple hours later. He had just finished telling her about Connie’s quick visit. She had flown back home the day after the funeral.

“Yeah,” Steve agreed, “But I’m glad to have gotten even the little bit of time I did.” Ari nodded in understanding. She hoped she was appearing normal on the outside, because inside she was a mess. She knew she needed another day, maybe two, to properly push all these emotions away, but she didn’t want to feel any more. She figured throwing herself back into the fray would take up enough time that she could forget everything else, but it was a slow day. And slow days meant time to think. Steve glanced at his watch.

“Shit, I’ve gotta get that info Messina requested,” Steve groaned. “She’ll be back in a couple hours, and I don’t feel like pissing her off.”

“We got nothing going on here,” Ari gestured to their now mostly empty desks. “Go take care of what you need to.” Steve nodded gratefully and took off. Ari turned to Javi. He had been staring at a small scrap of paper in his hand for almost an hour.

“What’s on your mind, Peña?” She asked. He looked up at her, his brow furrowed in deep thought.

“I’m trying to decide what to do with this,” he answered.

“Well, if you fill me in, maybe I can help you decide,” she offered. Javi looked at her for a long, silent minute. He tapped the paper agitatedly against his desk a few times and then sighed.

“It’s Maritza Rincón’s last known location,” he told her. “It’s good as of three days ago…so she’s probably still there.”

“Maritza Rincón,” Ari repeated. “The source that…”

“That double crossed us,” Javi completed, not wanting to mention Carrillo.

“What are we waiting for?” Ari asked. She stood quickly and grabbed her gun and badge. “Why didn’t you move on this immediately?” Javi gave her a look she didn’t kind understand.

“I was waiting for you, querida,” he said simply.

“Well, I’m ready,” Ari replied. “Let’s get this bitch.” Javi nodded. “We need to tell Trujillo. He’ll want to be involved.”

“I’ll grab him and meet you at the car,” Javi offered. Ari grabbed his arm to stop him before he walked away.

“Thanks for waiting for me,” Ari said softly. “I appreciate it.” Javi looked down at her hand on his arm and gently took it in his own.

“I’m so happy to have you back,” he whispered. He cleared his throat and let go of her hand. “See you in a few.” He stalked off to find Trujillo. Ari looked down and noticed her hands were shaking. She clenched her fists tight and took a deep breath. Soon she would face the woman that had betrayed them. The woman responsible for Carrillo’s—she cut off her train of thought. She couldn’t think about that right now. This woman was the reason Escobar eluded them once again. Ari was tired of losing, and she wanted to make someone pay.

Javi wasted no time when they arrived. He kicked the door in and drew his gun on the unsuspecting girl. Trujillo waited by the door, and Ari followed in behind Javi.

“De pie,” (On your feet.) Javi demanded. “¡Ya!” (Now!) He grabbed her by the neck and pushed her against a desk.

“You no sabía,” (I didn’t know) Maritza insisted. “Yo no sabía, lo juro. Limón me dijo mentiras.” (I didn’t know, I swear. Limón lied to me.) Javi turned her around roughly and shoved his gun in the back of his pants. “No, por favor. Me van a encontrar y me van a matar apenas puedan. ¡No! ¡No!” (No, please. When they find me, they’re going to kill me. No! No!) Javi gripped her upper arms and shook her to shut her up.

“¡Quieta!” (Stay still!) He screamed. She stopped squirming and he cuffed her. Ari stayed off to the side. She didn’t trust herself to get too close to this woman.

“Por favor,” (Please) she begged. “¿Usted cree que yo quería esto? Me usaron y me van a acabar la vida.” (Do you think I wanted this? They used me, and they’re throwing my life away.)

“You’re breaking my fucking heart, baby,” Javi growled sarcastically. He dragged her towards the door where Trujillo waited patiently.

“Todos ustedes son igualitos,” (You’re all the same.) she accused. “No escuchan. ¡Ninguno escucha! Y toda eso gente muriendo porque sí.” (You don’t listen. Nobody listens! And all those people dying for no reason.) Javi turned and threw a chair across the room in a rage. Ari flinched. She had never seen Javi this angry before. Trujillo watched him a moment before speaking up.

“¿Qué pasa, Peña?” (What’s up, Peña?) he asked calmly. “¿Qué hacemos con ella?” (What should we do with her?) Javi looked at Maritza. He took a deep breath. Ari could see him physically trying to calm the rage and figure out what the fuck they needed to do.

“¿Estás dispuesta a tratar de hacer las cosas bien?” (Are you willing to try to make things right?) Javi asked Maritza. Ari’s eyes snapped to him. How the hell could she make things right?

“¿Cómo?” (How?) Maritza asked. Have heaved a deep breath.

“Le pides a Limón que te encuentre en algún lugar,” (You ask Limón to meet you somewhere) Javi replied.

“¿Eso es todo?” (That’s it?) Maritza questioned warily.

“Eso es todo,” (That’s it) Javi assured her. “Nosotros haremos el resto.” (We’ll do the rest.)

“Javier,” Ari said in a low voice. “What are you doing?”

“This is the only lead we have,” Javi explained. Red hot anger boiled in her veins. He was going to let her get away with this.

“So she makes a call and all is forgiven?” Ari spat out.

“No,” Javi replied.

“Then what are we going to do with her?” Ari pushed. She glanced at Maritza. She was pretty sure the young girl did not understand English, but she wanted to make sure. “Put a bullet in her head after we follow this lead?” She watched closely, and the girl showed no reaction. She didn’t understand them.

“Ari,” Javi whispered, slightly horrified. Ari just shrugged.

“We don’t have to kill her, but she’s not just going to walk away from this,” Ari insisted.

“We’ll deal with that when the time comes,” Javi pushed back. Ari clenched her teeth. Was he protecting her? Her stomach plunged when she remembered how Javi probably knew this woman. His former lover. He was protecting his lover. Her hand itched to grab her gun, but her years of discipline and training kept her from moving.

“This is the only move we have,” Javi said firmly. “We play this smart. We can’t let our emotions cloud our judgment right now.” Ari’s chest heaved with a half sigh, half sob. She laughed humorlessly.

“Really?” She scoffed. “You’re going to pull the ‘overly emotional female’ card on me now?” Javi’s entire face softened.

“That’s not what I meant, Ari,” he said gently. “We’re all emotional on this one.” He glanced towards Trujillo. Ari followed his gaze. Trujillo stood calmly, but she could see the fire in his eyes. Her anger deflated. They were all too close to this. Javier was keeping his head, and she couldn’t get mad at him for it. Hell, she had been the voice of reason countless times in her career.

“Fuck,” she sighed. “You’re right. Sorry.” Javi shook his head.

“Don’t you dare apologize, Ariana,” Javi said sternly. “You have every right to be pissed right now. If any of this is too much, you tell me, and I’ll handle anything you need.” He stared hard into her eyes. “I’ve got you, ok?” Ari nodded, her throat too clogged with emotion to speak. Javi uncuffed Maritza.

“Llama a tu amigo,” (Call your friend) Javi demanded. “¿Hay algún lugar cercano donde puedas conocerlo?” (Is there somewhere close you can meet him?) Maritza nodded. “Bien. Dile que se reúna contigo allí en media hora, luego te llevaremos allí y esperaremos afuera a que aparezca. Una vez que abandone el lugar, podrás irte.” (Good. Tell him to meet you there in half an hour, then we'll drive you there and wait outside for him to show. Once he leaves the location, you can go.) Maritza walked by Ari to pick up the phone. Her scent wafted by.

Lavender. Not vanilla.

This wasn’t Javi’s mystery woman after all. Ari’s brow furrowed in thought as Maritza made the call. Javi had come back with Maritza’s intel smelling of vanilla. There were only two logical possibilities; Maritza was introduced to Javi through his former lover, or…she wasn’t his former lover, and Javi had been in the middle of a tryst when Maritza contacted him with the intel. Bile rose at that thought. Javi had committed to her. He had promised to try…shit, he promised to try. Trying implied you thought you could fail. Fuck. She needed to get Maritza alone for a moment. She had to know how she found Javier.

“Está hecho,” (It’s done) Maritza told them after hanging up. “Se reunirá conmigo en treinta minutos en el café de la calle.” (He's meeting me in thirty minutes at the cafe down the street.)

“Bueno,” (Good) Javi said with a nod. “Sube al coche y muéstranos el camino.” (Get in the car and show us the way.) He gestured out the door. Ari followed behind the three of them. Trujillo got into the drivers seat. Javi put Maritza in the back and turned to Ari.

“You ok in the back?” He asked quietly. “Or do you want me to sit with her?”

“I’m good,” Ari answered immediately, relieved she’d be close enough to talk to the girl. Javi nodded and got into the passenger seat. Ari quickly climbed in and shut the door. Maritza gave them directions and sat back quietly. Javi and Trujillo were discussing the plan—in English—so Ari took the opportunity.

“¿Cómo conociste a la agente Peña?” (How did you meet Agent Peña?) she asked quietly. Maritza looked at her for a moment. Ari could see the girl trying to decide how to answer. “La verdad por favor.” (The truth please.) Maritza sighed.

“Llamé a su embajada y pedí hablar con los agentes que intentaban capturar a Escobar,” (I called your embassy and asked to speak to the agents trying to take down Escobar.) She replied. Ari’s stomach dropped.

“¿Por qué no llamar al CNP?” (Why not call the CNP?) She pushed. Ari knew exactly why, but still needed to ask. Ari watched her closely.

“Porque aquí no puedo confiar en la policía,” (Because I cannot trust the police here.) She answered. “Muchos de ellos trabajan para Escobar.” (Many of them work for Escobar.) Ari knew she was lying. She could read it all over her face.

“¿Estás seguro de que así fue como lo conociste?” (Are you sure that’s how you met him?) Ari pushed. “¿No fue a través de un amigo? ¿O trabajar?” (It wasn't through a friend? Or work?) Ari tagged on the last question knowing Javi’s penchant for brothels. Maritza’s gaze hardened.

“No tengo amigos que se relacionen con las fuerzas del orden,” (I have no friends that associate with law enforcement.) She said angrily. “Sé mejor que eso en este país abandonado por Dios.” (I know better than that in this god forsaken country.)

“No te creo,” (I don’t believe you) Ari said. Maritza just shook her head. “Estás mintiendo sobre algo. Está por toda tu cara.” (You're lying about something. It's all over your face.)

“Estoy asustada,” (I’m scared) Maritza said in a shaky voice. “Sin saberlo, causé la muerte de oficiales del CNP, y si Escobar descubre que estaba tratando de entregarlo... bueno, todos sabemos cómo termina eso.” (I unknowingly caused the death of CNP officers, and if Escobar finds out I was trying to turn him in... well, we all know how that ends.) Tears formed in her eyes. “Tengo una niña.” (I have a little girl.) Ari swallowed thickly. Was she misreading Maritza’s fear as lies? She was too close to this to truly be able to read the situation.

“¿Juras que me estás diciendo la verdad?” (You swear you are telling me the truth?) Ari asked. “¿Sobre la vida de su hija?” (On your daughter’s life?)

“Lo juro,” (I swear) Maritza replied. Ari nodded and turned away. Javi had been with another woman the night he got this intel. She was going to be sick. How could he do this? Her head swam with images of him and the mystery woman.

“Muy bien, estamos aquí,” (Alright, we’re here) Trujillo announced as he parked across from the cafe.

“Entra y espéralo,” (Go in and wait for him) Javi told Maritza. She got out of the car and walked into the cafe.

Javier sat in the silent car waiting for Limón to arrive. He could feel the tension and anger radiating off Ari. He wanted to check in with her, but he knew he had to wait until they were alone. She was pissed and would likely bite his head off if he asked how she was in front of Trujillo. He sat up straighter as he noticed their target arrive.

“Here we go,” he murmured. All three of them were alert now. Limón was only in the cafe a minute before he stepped out, satellite phone pressed to his ear. His call ended quickly and he ducked back into the cafe. Just as fast, he was back outside, heading to his car. Javi nodded to Trujillo, who pulled out and followed the dark red Toyota. After some winding through the streets, he parked in front of a building and headed in. Javi picked up his sat phone to call for backup.

“Es Peña,” (It’s Peña) Javi said into the phone. “Estoy con Trujillo y Morgan en 38 con 24. Necesitamos refuerzos.” (I’m here with Trujillo and Morgan at the corner of 38th and 24th. We need backup)

“Lo siento,” (I’m sorry) the woman on the other end of the line said. “No tengo autorización para mandarles patrullas.” (There’s no authorization to dispatch patrols.)

“Tenemos a alguien de confianza de Escobar que acaba de entrar en un edificio,” (We’re watching one of Escobar’s guys that just entered the building.) Javi explained.

“Vuelva a la base y pediremos autorización de Bogotá,” (Return to base, and we can ask for authorization from Bogotá.) she told him. Javi sighed heavily, frustrated beyond belief. He hung up the call.

“Cabrón,” (Asshole) Javi swore angrily. “Y llega el martes, hijo de puta.” (And you’ll show up next Tuesday, son of a bitch.) Javi looked back at the building in time to see Limón walk out with someone else. “Oh shit, that’s Velasco.”

“Puta,” (Shit) Trujillo said. “¿Qué hacemos?” (What do we do?) Limón got in the car.

“Pues seguimos a Velasco,” (We stick with Velasco) Javi told him. “El otro no importa.” (The other one doesn’t matter)

“¿Cuántos tipos piensa qué hay adentro, Peña?” (How many guys do you think are inside, Peña?) Trujillo asked. Velasco walked back into the building and Javi looked at Trujillo.

“Muchos para solo tres, ¿no?” (Too many for just us three, no?)

“Sí, nos vuelven mierda,” (Yeah, we’d be screwed.) Trujillo agreed. “Hijo de puta. Deberíamos llamar refuerzos, ¿no?” (Son of a bitch. We should call for backup, right?) Javi ran his tongue over his teeth as he contemplated his next move. If they went by the books on this, they’d lose Velasco. Search Bloc would drag their feet getting through all the red tape, and he’d be back in the wind….but making this call would put Ari face to face with the men he wanted nowhere near her. He glanced in the mirror to look at Ari. She had been suspiciously quiet since they left Maritza’s.

He agonized over what to do. Suddenly, the image of Ari, sobbing and broken beside Carrillo’s body flashed through his mind. He couldn’t risk losing this chance. He needed to get to Escobar, and Velasco was his ticket. He picked up the phone and began dialing.

“¿A quién está llamando?” (Who are you calling?) Trujillo asked him.

“Backup,” Javi said as the phone rang. A short time later a truck pulled up behind them.

“¿Qué está pasando, Peña?” (What’s going on, Peña?) Trujillo asked quietly.

“Yo manejó esto,” (I’ll handle this) They got out of the car. Berna and the Castaños approached them, armed to the teeth. As soon as Ari saw the Castaños she turned to him with wide eyes.

“What the fuck, Javi?” She said in a low voice. He ignored her and addressed Berna. “Este es Trujillo. Puedan confiar en él.” (This is Trujillo. You can trust him.) Berna looked at Trujillo, then back to Javier.

“Por fin ves la luz, Javier,” (You’re finally seeing the light, Javier.) Berna said.

“Digamos más bien que estoy probando si funciona,” (Let’s just see if this works.) Javi told him.

“¿Ustedes van a entrar?” (You all coming?) Carlos asked. Javi, Ari, and Trujillo looked at each other before Javi nodded. “Bueno, pues. Entonces, ustedes tres, por el frente conmigo. Berna con sus hombres, por detrás, ¿entendido?” (Okay, then. You three, in the front with me. Berna with his men, around back. Understood?”) Javi nodded once more.

“Ustedes más bien manténganse alejados de la ventanas,” (Just stay clear of the windows) Fidel warned them. He looked at Ari. “Especialmente tú, preciosa.” (Especially you, gorgeous.) Ari grimaced and pulled her gun out. Javi’s gut clenched. He hated that the woman he loved was on the radar of these psychopaths. “Vamos, pues,” (Let’s go then) Fidel told the group.

“Vamos,” (Let’s move) Carlos reiterated. The two groups separated, and Fidel took off across the street with his sniper rifle. The men set charges on the front door. They blew it open and tossed in smoke bombs for coverage. As soon as Escobar’s men started coming towards them, they opened fire and moved into the building, spreading out to find Velasco. Javi hurried upstairs, gunshots echoing around him. He thought Ari was right behind him. Halfway up the stairs a man popped up at the top, gun aimed at Javi. He froze just as the sicario’s brains splattered on the wall beside him. Javi glanced at the window and realized why Fidel had warned them. He was picking off Escobar’s men from the roof across the street. Before he had time to process the close call Velasco appeared at the top of the stairs. Javi glanced back to make sure Ari was with him, but she was nowhere to be seen. Fear shot through him, but he had no time to worry or look for her. He raced up the stairs and followed Velasco out onto the rooftop.

“Hey!” He shouted at the sicario. Velasco turned and fired a shot. Javi ducked down. He popped back up and chased after Velasco. He chased him through a house and into an alley. Javi pushed himself harder, trying to catch up while dodging the bullets Velasco randomly fired at him. At one point he turned around and fired two shots that would have been direct hits if Javi hadn’t managed to duck in a doorway. He chased him a bit further, Trujillo had caught up with him and was close behind. Just as Velasco was about to turn the corner he was hit in the face with the butt of Carlos’s rifle, knocking him to the ground. Carlos stepped on his arm to pin him down and kicked his gun away. Berna and Ari appeared behind Carlos. Javi breathed a sigh of relief that she was ok.

“¿Pa dónde ibas, gonorrea hijo de puta? Huh?” (Where were you going, you filthy son of a bitch?) He pulled Velasco up and hauled him off. They followed the men back to the cars. Javi could feel Ari’s eyes burning a hole in his back. He knew he’d have a lot to answer for once they were alone. Carlos tossed Velasco in the back of one of the cars and walked back over to where they were standing with Berna. Fidel rejoined the group.

“Lo hicieron bien,” (You did well) Fidel told them.

“Tu chica aquí es una chingona,” (Your girl here is one badass bitch) Carlos told Javi. It took every ounce of control fro Javi to show no reaction. “Ella me salvó la vida allí.” (She saved my life in there) Javi’s gaze shot to Ari. She just shrugged.

“One of them snuck up on him,” Ari explained. “I got to him before he got to your friend here.” He noticed the slight irritation from the men that Ari used English.

“Bella y mortal,” (Beautiful and deadly) Fidel said with admiration. “Mi tipo de mujer.” (My type of woman.)

“Será un día frío en el infierno,” (It’ll be a cold day in hell) Ari scoffed. The Castaños laughed.

“Oh, me gusta ésta,” (Oh, I like this one) Fidel murmured. “Cuidado, Peña… o puede que te la robe de las narices.” (Watch out, Peña…or I may just steal her out from under you) Javi scowled and clenched his fists. He had to remind himself that punching this asshole in the face would not end well for any of them right now.

“Mantén los ojos—y las manos—lejos de ella,” (Keep your eyes—and hands—away from her) he practically growled.

“¿Qué tal una parte diferente del cuerpo?“ (How about a different body part?) Carlos asked with a leer.

“No, si quieres conservar esa parte específica del cuerpo,” (Not if you want to keep that particular body part) Ari cut in. Berna and the Castaños laughed.

“Ella es un petardo,” (She’s a firecracker) Berna said. “Será un acuerdo interesante. Les contaremos qué nos aporta.“ (This will be an interesting arrangement. We’ll let you know what we get out of him.) Berna nodded towards Velasco. With that they took their leave. Javi turned to meet the angry eyes of Ari.

“Not now,” he said in a low voice. She clenched her jaw and nodded once. They got back in the car and headed to Maritza’s. “I’ll just be a minute.” Javi told them and jumped out of the car. He went into the building and knocked on her door. She answered immediately.

“Funcionó,” (It worked) Javi told her. “Estamos a mano.” (We’re even)

“Necesito ayuda con la visa para sacar a mi familia de Medellín,” (I need you to help me get a visa and get my family out of Medellín) Maritza told him. “Adonde Pablo no pueda encontrarnos.” (Somewhere Pablo can’t find us)

“No funciona así,” (It doesn’t work like that) Javi told her. “Lo siento.” (I’m sorry) She was clearly irritated by his dismissive words.

“¿Y entonces?” (So, then?) “¿Cómo voy a estar bien?” (How am I supposed to be ok?) When Javi didn’t answer, she closed the door. He walked back outside and got into the car.

“Así haremos las cosas en adelante,¿no, Peñita?” (Is this how things are going to work from now on, Peña?) Trujillo asked.

“No se preocupe, ¿okay?” (Don’t worry about it, ok?) Javi told him. “No va a pasar más esto.” (It won’t happen again)

“No. No estoy preocupado,” (No. I’m not worried.) Trujillo responded and started the car.

“Well, I am,” he heard Ari whisper in the back.

They arrived back at headquarters just after dark. The new head of Search Bloc, Colonel Martinez, was there and addressing the men. Javi and Ari walked up behind the large group of CNP officers standing outside. They joined Steve who was leaning against the front of the building. Trujillo stood on the other side of the entrance.

Martinez was going on and on about his new tactics. A systematic grid search. Javi looked at Trujillo. They both shook their heads. Dammit, he missed Carrillo. Disgusted with this new turn of events, Javier had heard enough. He pushed off the wall and went into the building. Ari and Steve followed.

“A fucking grid search?” Javi scoffed quietly as they walked towards their desks. “Isn’t that how they caught the guy who shot Abraham Lincoln?”

“It’s a change,” Steve offered.

“Yeah, it’s dated and conventional,” Javi shot back. They stopped at the table near their desks to grab a cup of coffee.

“Well, we tried going bullet for bullet with him,” Steve reminded him, “and you saw how that ended up.” Ari flinched. Steve shot her an apologetic look. Javi looked at Steve in amazement. He couldn’t believe he was willing to go along with a method that was slow and would ultimately be unsuccessful.

“Oh, so that’s it?” Javi asked “A few weeks ago you volunteered to jump into a chopper with Carrillo and now it’s a change?” When Steve just nodded, Javi continued. “Don’t worry about it, man. We’ll all feel better once Escobar’s in the ground one way or another, right?”

“There is no other way, Javi,” Steve warned. “Search Bloc is the only game in town.” Javi looked at Steve for a long moment.

“You really think this asshole can get it done?” Javi asked.

“I don’t know,” Steve answered honestly. “Maybe he’ll surprise us.”

“Okay,” Javi said softly. “Grid search it is.” Javi grabbed his coffee and turned.

“Javi,” Ari said. He paused and looked at her. “We need to talk.” Javi glanced at Steve.

“Later,” he promised. “I have something I need to take care of.”

“Javier,” Ari said in warning.

“I promise, hermosa,” he said, “we’ll discuss this when I get back.” Ari sighed in frustration. He needed to find out what Berna got out of Velasco before he talked to Ari. He needed this to not be all for nothing. He needed time to figure out what he was going to tell her. He downed the coffee in one gulp and headed out to the cafe.

“¿Qué le sacaron a Velasco?” (What did you find out from Velasco?) Javi asked as soon as he saw Berna at the cafe.

“Ni mierda,” (Not a fucking thing) Berna replied. “Ese hijo de puta terminó siendo más duro de lo que creí.” (That son of a bitch turned out to be a lot tougher than I thought.) Fuck. He was afraid of that. Javi lit his cigarette and lay and envelope on the table. “¿Eso es lo que pienso que es?” (Is that what I think it is?) Berna reached for it, but Javi quickly put his hand on top.

“Reglas del juego,” (Rules of the game.) Javi said quietly. “Solo matamos a gente armada. Sicarios. o va haber información sobre negocios, ni de laboratorios, ni de envíos. Esto no trata de ayudar a Judy. Se trata de matar a Pablo.” (We only go after armed people. Sicarios. There wont be any information abut businesses or labs to shipments. This isn’t about helping Judy. This is about killing Pablo.) Berna picked up the envelope.

“Y una cosa más,” (And one more thing) Javier demanded. Berna nodded for him to go on. “Que nadie toque a Ariana. Mantenla alejada de esto. ¿Entendido?” (No one touches Ariana. You keep her out of this. Understood?) Berna nodded in agreement.

“Entonces…brindo por matar a Pablo,” (Well, then…here’s to killing Pablo.) Berna said.

Javi got back to headquarters and immediately went to their room. He knew Ari would be waiting for him. Sure enough, she was there, pacing. He knew this was going to be bad. She was pissed. She spun to face him when he closed the door. She walked up and smelled him—what the fuck was that?—then took two steps back to glare at him.

“What the fuck is going on, Javier?” She said angrily.

“I can explain,” he began.

“You damn well better,” she raged. “How the hell are you mixed up with those psychopaths?”

“We have a mutual goal,” he said. Ari choked on an outraged laugh.

“A mutual goal?” Her face crinkled in disbelief. “What the fuck does that mean? I know you, and there is no way you would work with these assholes. No matter how much you want to take down Escobar.” He twisted his lips and clenched his fist. She knew him too well. He couldn’t bullshit his way through this one. He had to tell her the truth.

“They threatened you, Ari,” he said softly. She froze.

“What?” She whispered.

“They threatened you. Judy Moncada, Don Berna, and the Castaños. If I don’t play ball, they’re coming for you.”

“Javi—” she began. He could see what she was thinking and cut her off.

“—They don’t care about the hands off policy when it comes to DEA agents, Ari. These people are crazy, and they’ll do anything to eliminate Escobar. You are the perfect way to do that.” He’d heaved a deep breath. “I couldn’t risk it. I can’t risk you. Ever.” Her features softened.

“Javi, this is too dangerous. I don’t want you involved with them.”

“I’ll do whatever I have to do to keep you safe, Ariana. Don’t you dare fucking ask me to stop doing that.” She swallowed, and an emotion he didn’t understand crossed her face.

“Are you cheating on me, Javier?”

“What?” He asked in shock. This was not something he had ever fathomed her asking him at this moment.

“The night you got the intel. The night of”—she flinched slightly—“the ambush. You came here smelling like vanilla.”

“Ok?” He had no idea where she was going with this.

“That’s how you always smelled after meeting with that woman. The one you were fucking. Now, at first, I thought she was the one who introduced you to Maritza Rincón, and that’s why you smelled like her. But then Maritza set me straight. She told me she called the embassy and that’s how she got in touch with you. So, you were with that other woman. What happened? Did you finally get tired of fucking just me?”

“Ari, no,” he said in horror. “I haven’t been with anyone but you since I committed to us. I did meet Maritza through Gabby.”

“Gabby? Is that her name?”

“Yes,” Javi replied. “She called me and said she needed to see me.”

“And you just couldn’t wait to run right into her arms?” She was fighting back tears. He hated this. He needed to clear this up immediately. He didn’t want to be the source of her pain ever again.

“No,” he said firmly. “I decided to go by so I could tell her I wouldn’t be seeing her anymore. That she needed to lose my number. When I got there she grabbed me and kissed me. I immediately pulled her off. I had every intention of telling you all this, but then we got the intel and Carrillo…honestly it all fell onto the back burner.” When she just stared at him he continued. After I pulled Gabby off of me, I noticed Maritza waiting in the room, and Gabby told me the reason she had called was to put me in touch with her friend. I got the intel, told Gabby we were done—that you were the only woman I wanted—and I left.”

“Maritza swore on the life of her daughter that she got to you through he embassy,” Ari said stubbornly. “What kind of a mother would lie on the life of her child? Hmm?” Javi could see Ari was struggling. She wanted to believe him, but his history with her was stacking the odds against him.

“A desperate one who doesn’t know who to trust,” Javi answered. “I’m not lying to you, Ariana. I have never lied to you, and I’m not about to start now.”

“Why did you tell Carrillo you trusted her?” She asked angrily. “You didn’t know her.”

“I trusted Gabby,” he said, shame washing over him at his colossal error in judgement.

“You trusted your whore, and it got my best friend killed!” Ari shouted. “He’s six feet in the ground! Cold…gone. All because you’re too soft when it comes to these prostitutes.”

“I know,” he whispered. He was choking on self loathing. He would never forgive himself for Carrillo’s death. She deflated as the rage seemed to leave her.

“I don’t know how we move on from here, Javi,” Ari said sadly.

“What do you mean?” Javi asked in a shaky voice. He was terrified of what she would say next.

“I don’t think I can do this,” her voice trembled. Javi’s knees almost gave out. She clenched her eyes closed for a moment before opening them and meeting his gaze. “I think I’ve always known, but I just didn’t want to see it. Part of me knew, when we decided to try an actual relationship, that we’d end up here. The simple fact is you don’t love me. And no matter how much I love you, it will never be enough to make this work because I’m not what you want.”

“Ari, baby, I didn’t cheat on you,” Javi pleaded. “You have to believe me. That bitch lied to you. You are all that I want. You’re everything I never knew I needed.” She looked deep into his eyes.

“I believe you,” she said finally. He sagged in relief. “But it doesn’t matter.” He felt as if he might throw up. “Carrillo’s death hangs between us. I don’t know how we move past that.”

“Please,” Javi begged. “Please don’t do this, baby.”

“I need some time, Javi,” she said softly. “Can you give me that?” He nodded rapidly. He’d agree to anything…anything but giving her up. He stepped forward to close the distance between them. He gathered her in his arms and kissed her deeply, passionately. To his relief, she kissed him back. After a long, long moment, he pulled back slightly to look into her eyes. He cupped the side of her face.

“Take the time you need, Ari,” he said gently. “Just, please, find your way back to me. I need you. I don’t know if I can breathe without you.”

“No promises,” she said. His heart plummeted, but then she smiled.

“Really? Now?” He asked, mildly exasperated at her attempt at a joke while his heart was bleeding out at her feet. Her face sobered.

“I love you, Javier Peña,” she whispered. “I just need to figure out if love is enough.” His heart clenched in fear.

“Ok, hermosa,” he whispered back. She stepped out of his arms and silently left the room. He stood there for a long time, trying to figure out how to put the pieces of his soul back together.

Chapter 22

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[cherry-holmes]

Glimpse of a life with Javier Peña

Chapter 15

MAIN MASTERLIST

Summary: Six months ago you spoke with Javi for the last time. Now, you tried to continue with your life without him.

SERIES MASTERLIST

Previous chapter

Pairing: Javier Peña x Female Reader

Word count: 6.9k

Warnings: Angst. Talk of depression. Mention of daddy issues. Brief description of reader’s body. I decide not to give more warnings to avoid spoilers, so keep the reading under your own responsibility, but in general this contains +18 material.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I knew you

Leavin' like a father

Running like water, I

And when you are young, they assume you know nothing

But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss

I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs

The smell of smoke would hang around this long

'Cause I knew everything when I was young

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Finally, on December 2, 1993, Pablo Escobar died in Medellín, bringing an end to years of violence and fear to the country. Of course, the ghosts of evil would linger over for a long time. The narcoviolence was a vicious cycle that corroded everything it touched. But for now, the police of Colombia and the DEA had shown that there were still good people and hope. Even if ir wasn't completely true.

When you saw Steve's photo in the newspaper, you felt proud of him, of course, but you knew that Javier deserved to be there too. He had given many years of sacrificing his own safety and personal life to fulfill his duty. There was no other American who had done as much for his country than Javier Peña. He deserved recognition, he deserved to be decorated and rewarded for his years of service.

But instead, he was being judged for using unorthodox methods to do his job. It wasn't ideal, but it was effective in the end. Who hasn't looked for alternatives in their most desperate moments? They didn't deserve a man like him. And now he was paying the price.

You hadn't heard anything about him since that last call, six months ago. You didn't know if he had been judged or sentenced yet. And you weren't sure if you even wanted to know.

Days turned into weeks, and before you knew it, weeks had turned into months. While everything around you seemed to continue its normal course, you felt stuck in Bogotá. Memories of warm nights with him, hurried breakfasts in his truck, and cozy dinners at home lingered, haunting you like ghosts of a past life. You tried to distract yourself, to focus on the routine of daily life, but thoughts of Javier lingered like shadows in the corners of your mind. You wore the necklace he gave you on your birthday like a charm. It was your most precious treasure, the three pearls representing the love he had for you and you for him. Your fingertips sought it out every time you felt down, sometimes unconsciously.

You found it difficult to concentrate on something else, your thoughts constantly drifting back to him, to the uncertainty that clouded his future.

You started to think that maybe the problem lay within you, that you were somehow unworthy of having the man you loved beside you. Doubts ate away at your confidence, questioning your worthiness of love in any form. In the late hours of the night, you grappled with the echoes of your past, recalling the pain of your father's abandonment when you were just a child. That trauma left a deep hole of abandonment in your heart, a wound that never fully healed. And now, facing Javier's absence, it felt like history was repeating itself. The two men you had loved the most had left you, leaving behind a trail of broken promises and shattered dreams. Yes, you still had your beloved grandfather, José, but in those moments of anxiety and depression, you couldn't help but wonder what was wrong with you to not been worthy of love.

Your mother wasn't very helping either, as she wasn't very kind towards you. She never asked you how you were now that you came back or told you she missed you. And when everything with Javi happened, she made cruel comments, hinting that for him you were just another woman and that it was your fault for sleeping with him and not respecting yourself.

However, you had your sisters who supported you through the grief, and the love of your abuelo meant everything.

He was a lawyer, and he offered you a temporary job on his independent buffet while you find a job that suit your requirements.

Losing your dream job as a translator in a foreign country, enduring very difficult situations that put your life in danger, and losing the love of your life—all the trauma and heartbreak left a hole in your chest. It felt as though a part of you was missing, as though you were navigating the world with a piece of your soul torn away.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

The Saturday sun bathed the cobblestone streets in a warm, golden glow as you emerged from the church, your heart still echoing the hymns of worship. Beside you, your beloved abuelo walked, his arm linked with yours, his weathered face radiant with the peace of faith.

"What do you want to eat, papá?" You asked him.

"Sarita told me about a new restaurant," he answered as your mother joined his side, "She said they have delicious barbacoa and consomé."

"I don't think you should eat that, papá," your mother intervened, her brow frowned. From the look on her face, you knew she was going to confront Sara for craving such food for grandpa. "The doctor said..."

"The doctor said many things, María," he replied firmly. "I'm going to die anyway, so I'm gonna eat my birria!"

You smiled to your abuelo's stubbornness, and although you knew that your mother could be right, you just couldn't help but want to fulfill his cravings.

"Okay, papá, we all going to have barbacoa," you promised.

Before your mother could say anything to you, your nephews and nieces ran by your side, pointing towards the churro seller.

"¡Tía, cómpranos churros!" they shouted, and you found yourself outnumbered by them.

"Okay, okay!" You smiled as you watched them bouncing in front of you. "Everyone line up by height and ask the señor de los churros nicely for yours."

Your nephews and nieces cheered at unison and ran towards the vending cart. Both your sisters insisted on pay for their own children churros, but you told them that you wanted to buy churros for everyone.

As your sisters and their husbands agreed with your grandfather and your mother to all go to eat to the restaurant Sara propose to your abuelo, you tried to help the churro's vendedor not going crazy with all four children. All of them were under ten years old, so you can imagine how noisy and playful – and troubling – they can be.

As the kids devoured their churros, you juggled between keeping an eye on them and ensuring they didn't wander off too far. Their laughter filled the air, echoing against the cobblestone streets as they ran around in playful abandon.

Guiding your nephews and nieces back to your family, you barely noticed the bustling activity around you until a familiar voice pierced through the chaos. "I've always known that you look even more beautiful around kids."

You froze in disbelief, your heart skipping a beat at the sound of his voice. You turned around and saw Javier standing there. For a moment, time seemed to stand still as you took in the sight of him. He looked different, yet somehow the same—the same rugged charm, the same warm gaze that had always captivated you. His mere presence was like a jolt of electricity, sending shivers down your spine and stirring emotions you thought long buried.

As the reality of his presence sank in, a whirlwind of emotions swept through you. Part of you wanted to run into his arms, to hold him close and never let go. Another part wanted to push him away, to confront him for leaving without a word, for breaking your heart with his silence.

But as you looked into his eyes, you saw the pain and regret reflected in his gaze—the same pain you had been carrying in your heart all these months. And in that moment, all your anger and hurt melted away, replaced by a flood of overwhelming love and longing.

"Javi?" your voice cracked, eyes inevitably flooded with tears. ''How...?''

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice barely above a breath. "I shouldn't have left you like that."

Without another word, you closed the distance between you, your heart pounding with anticipation. Javier's eyes softened as you reached out, your arms trembling as they closed around his torso. The touch was electrifying, sending a surge of warmth coursing through your veins.

You couldn't understand exactly how he was right there, what happened during all those months?, how the hell did he found you? But he was there, he was between your arms again... His warmth, his scent, his beating heart beneath your ear, were things you thought you would never feel again.

"¿Tía?" you heard the little voice of Ana, the youngest of your nieces, as she pulled the skirt of your dress. "Is this Javi? The boy you always cry for?"

You glanced down at her, innocent eyes wide with curiosity, and then back at Javier, uncertainty clouding your thoughts. How could you explain the complexities of love and loss to a child?

"Ana, come here," Silvia, her mother, approached to grab her. She looked at Javi and then back at your watering, reddened eyes. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," you answered, a smile prompting on your lips, blush coloring your cheeks. It was the first time in a long, long time that you felt a genuine sense of emotion and happiness since you arrived in your birth-town. "Silvi, this is Javi. Javi, this is my sister."

Javier extended his hand towards Silvia, a warm smile gracing his lips. "Nice to meet you, Silvia," he greeted, his voice gentle and sincere.

Silvia's expression changed upon recognizing his name. Her eyes softened as she shook Javier's hand. "Likewise," she replied, her eyes flickering with curiosity. Of course, she had memorized his name and appearance through the photos you had shown her and Sara of your time in Colombia with Javi. Your sisters had wiped your tears and listened to your heartbreaking cries for him.

You saw your family approaching you, everyone seeming curious and expectant. Your hands were shaking, your heart felt like it could punch through your chest. So had so many questions, so many things to say to him. Suddenly, you felt overwhelmed.

"Buenas tardes," your abuelo approached to you. You recognized that look on his face, the same he had every time you or your sisters met a new boy. Your abuelo had always been the jealous kind, but in a sweet way.

Javier greeted your abuelo, extending his hand in a gesture of respect. "Mucho gusto, Don José. Javier Peña," he said, his voice resonating with genuine warmth, remembering your grandfather's name.

Your abuelo's eyes twinkled mischievously as he shook Javier's hand. "¡Ah! So you're the famous Javier," he replied, his tone tinged with playful teasing.

Javi looked at you with a playful arched brow, causing your face turned completely red, like a tomato. You were the most gorgeous tomato he had ever seen in his life.

"Everyone, I want you to meet Javier," you said, gesturing towards him with a smile. "Javier, this is my family."

Your sisters and their husbands exchanged glances, their eyes bright with curiosity as they greeted Javier warmly. "Nice to meet you, Javier," Sara said, extending her hand.

Javier shook her hand with a polite nod. "You too. You must be Sara."

Sara chimed in, her excitement palpable. "Yeah, it's great to finally meet you in person."

Your mother, who had been observing quietly, offered a reserved nod of acknowledgment, her expression unreadable.

As the greetings subsided, Silvia turned to Javier. "Hey, why don't you join us for lunch at the restaurant? We'd love to have you."

Before Javier could respond, you interjected gently, "Actually, if you don't mind, I'd like to have a private conversation with Javier first. We can catch up with everyone later this afternoon at home."

Javier's stomach churned at your words. "Have a private conversation" sounded like you were about to have a serious discussion. He wasn't expecting you to receive him as if nothing happened, as if he hadn't broken your heart. He was surprised and relieved when you hugged him upon seeing him, but he thought it might have been just a quick reaction, an impulsive action prompted by the heat of the moment.

Silvia's eyebrows raised in surprise, but she nodded understandingly. "Of course, hermanita. We'll see you both at home then."

With a collective agreement, your family bid you and Javier farewell, dispersing toward the church's parking lot with chatter and laughter trailing behind them. You turned to Javier, a mixture of anticipation and nerves swirling in your chest, ready to finally have the private conversation you'd been yearning for.

"So, shall we take a taxi?" you said finally.

"Actually, I brought my truck," he said, pointing at the park across the street, where you saw a red 90s Chevrolet Silverado.

"You drove all the way here?" The thought of him driving three hours, crossing the border, just to see you stirred a whirlwind of emotions within you. It was both overwhelming and heartwarming to know that he had gone to such lengths to be with you.

"Of course, from Laredo" he confessed.

As you walked across the street towards his truck, the atmosphere between you felt familiar, bringing back a flood of memories. Javier unlocked the truck and held the door open for you, as you settled into the passenger seat, the scent of his cologne enveloped you, filling you with a sense of comfort.

Once you were there, feeling overwhelmed by his return, after everything you had been throgh being away from him, thinking he was even in jail. It was too much, you barely could process it... You finally broke, as soon as Javi closed the drivers door, you started crying.

Javier's heart ached as he watched you cry, his own emotions swirling inside him like a tempest. He reached out tentatively, his hand hovering over yours, unsure if he should offer comfort or give you space.

He called your sweet name in a way only he could. You felt shivers just hearing it, reminding you of the power he had over you.

You turned to him, tears streaming down your cheeks, your eyes filled with a mixture of sadness, relief, and confusion. "Why, Javi?" you whispered, your voice trembling with emotion. "Why did you leave me?"

Javier's heart clenched at the pain in your voice, the anguish etched into your features. He took a deep breath, steeling himself to face the truth, to lay bare his soul before you.

"I thought I was doing the right thing for you," he began, his voice barely above a whisper. "I was trying to protect you."

You wanted to ask again "why?" but you knew it was unnecessary because you understood why. He was trying to shield you from becoming attached to a convict, a man who was not physically free. It had taken you a long time to grasp the magnitude of the situation and his sacrifice. Javier Peña wasn't a selfish man.

"It's important to me for you to understand that at that moment everything seemed to be against me," he continued, his eyes staring at you with longing and desperation, as he feared you wouldn't want to hear him or wouldn't believe him. "Don Berna betrayed me and forced Judy Moncada to leave Colombia and spill everything about the DEA agent who was foolish enough to trust them. I was told that I had committed a federal crime by getting involved with Los Pepes."

For a moment, the gravity of his words left you speechless, grappling with the enormity of what he had endured. You knew firsthand the dangers and complexities of his work, but hearing the details of his ordeal sent a chill down your spine.

"I had to make a choice," Javier continued, his voice tinged with regret. "I couldn't risk your safety, not when everything was falling apart around me. I thought I was doing what was best for you, even if it meant sacrificing my own happiness."

New tears welled up in your eyes as you reached out to him, your hand trembling as it touched his. In that moment, words seemed inadequate to express the depth of your emotions, the overwhelming rush of love and forgiveness that flooded your heart.

"I missed you," you confessed, your voice barely contained. "I was devastated. Not only for how things between us ended, but for thinking about what would happen to you..."

Javier's gaze softened as he listened to your heartfelt words. He reached out, gently brushing away your tears with his thumb, his touch sending a wave of warmth through you.

"I missed you too, every moment," he admitted, his voice filled with raw emotion. "Not a day went by when I didn't think about you. Te amo."

"Javi?" you spoke softly, wiping your tears and turning your body to fully face him.

"Yes, bonita?" he said, and your stomach fluttered with thousands of butterflies that had been sleeping, waiting to hear that word he used to call you. Bonita, you'll always be his bonita.

"Kiss me already," you whispered, the words escaping your lips before you could hold them back.

With a tender smile, Javier leaned closer, his gaze softening as he brushed a stray tear from your cheek. The air between you crackled with anticipation, the weight of months apart dissipating with each heartbeat.

As his lips met yours, a surge of warmth washed over you, igniting a fire that had been smoldering deep within. You let out a shaky moan when his tongue met yours, sending electricity to your core.

Javi growled at your reaction. He was so needed of your touch, your kisses; that skin-to-skin sensation he sink in when he made love with you. Cause even during the darkest moments when he feared he might spend the rest of his life behind bars, he couldn't bring himself to be with anyone else. He was yours, in body and spirit.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You and Javi were hungry and had so much to talk about. So you guided him through the city, searching for somewhere quiet to eat and converse. As he sat across from you at the table, perusing the menu, you still couldn't believe he was actually there—free and as handsome as ever. It felt like years had passed since Bogotá, the last time you saw him. Or maybe you suddenly died, your heart finally giving up missing him, and that was heaven.

Javi finally looked up from the menu, his gaze meeting yours. "Everything okay, sweetheart?" he asked, concern evident in his eyes as his broad hand reached across the table to touch yours.

"No... I mean, yes!" you said, your voice trailing off. "It's just... I'm so, so happy you're here, but I still can't process what happened."

Javi smiled, his eyes reflecting a mixture of tenderness and longing. "I promise, mi vida, I'll never leave you again," he vowed, his words a silent promise to cherish and protect you for as long as he lived.

The waiter approached, and you both placed your orders. After she left, you spoke again. "How did you find me?" you asked with genuine curiosity.

Monterrey was a sprawling metropolis, and in the '90s world, finding something or someone without an address or a phone number was no small feat.

Javier leaned forward, his expression radiating warmth. "It wasn't easy, but I remembered when you told me about going to church every Sunday with your family," he began, his voice low and intimate. "I recalled the name of the church and the municipality, so as soon as I arrived in the city, I searched for it. It took me all day yesterday, but I managed to get a lead, and it paid off. I found the right one."

You nodded, deeply impressed by his determination and resourcefulness. He was a proper DEA agent who spent years looking for and taking down sicarios. Of course, he was going to find his girlfriend on the first try. It was very sweet how he would do anything just to be with you, though, to have you back.

"I was fuckin' terrified that you were angry with me for leaving you like that," he continued, his voice tinged with regret. "Or worse, that you may have someone else already."

You looked at Javier, sensing the vulnerability in his eyes, and felt a pang of empathy. The thought of him fearing your anger or the possibility of you being with someone else touched you deeply.

"Javi, I could never be angry with you for trying to protect me," you said softly. "I was angry and devastated at first, I'm not gonna lie," you confessed, your chest aching with memories of those endless nights of overthinking and tears. "But it wasn't directed towards you, but towards life. I couldn't accept the decision you had to make, but with time, I came to understand that you only wished the best for me, and it was very sweet and unselfish."

You reached your delicate hand across the table to grasp his. "And as for someone else, there's never been anyone else for me. It's always been you."

His eyes softened, relief flooding his features as he squeezed your hand gently. "You're the only one for me, too, bonita. You're the best thing that could ever happen to this son of a bitch."

You leaned forward to kiss his lips. The familiarity of his touch was overwhelming and comforting at the same time.

When the meal was over and both of you were back in his truck, you asked him where he was staying.

Javier glanced at you, his expression thoughtful as he considered your question. He mentioned a hotel downtown, and you recognized it from what you had heard.

"You can stay a couple of days. I want to show you the city and introduce you properly to my family, if you don't mind," you proposed.

"Me encantaría pasar todo el tiempo del mundo contigo, mi vida preciosa," he said, and you flushed at the sweet nickname. "Actually, I was thinking about moving to a hotel closer to your house."

"That won't be necessary. You can stay with me," you offered without hesitation, feeling a rush of warmth at the idea of having him close again. "I'm living with my abuelo y mi mamá."

"I don't want to be a bother," he began, but you took his hand gently and looked into his puppy eyes.

"You're family now, and family never bothers," you assured him. "My abuelo has a spacious house, and you can stay in the guest bedroom. You know, we can sleep together..."

"That's okay, baby. I understand," he agreed, leaning over to place a kiss on your lips. "So, where do you want to go now? Wanna go home?" he asked, turning on the gear.

"Actually," you began, your cheeks burning and your heart pounding with anticipation, "I was thinking that we could go to your hotel."

With a mischievous grin, Javier glanced at you, his eyes alight with excitement. "Can we?" he asked, his voice filled with playful anticipation.

You smiled shyly, nodding as your cheeks turned cherry red. "Unless you want to spend the evening elsewhere."

Javier's eyes sparkled with amusement as he caught your playful tone. "Oh, I'm perfectly content to spend the evening wherever you desire," he replied, his voice laced with a hint of mischief.

You chuckled softly, feeling a rush of excitement tinged with nervousness.

"Be careful what you wish for, baby," he added, his voice filled with longing. "I've missed you so damn much."

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

The hotel room was nice, elegant and spacious. But of course you didn't noticed that at first, as you were very busy devouring Javi's mouth. He guided you towards the bed, hands squeezing the soft flesh of your hips; yours cupping his head.

"I love you," he muttered against your mouth, pausing briefly as you unbuttoned his shirt. "You don't have any idea how much I needed you. I couldn't breathe..."

His voice wavered with emotion, and you couldn't help but notice the vulnerability in his tone. Your fingers brushed against his lips, a silent gesture of reassurance. You still had a lot of questions, things that you would like to know, but you were sure that you had a lot of time to do it. For example, when his next move was to get rid of his shirt and you saw the scar on his side, where you knew he had been shot. Your fingers traced the damaged skin, your throat constricting at the sight of him being hurt, where he could have lost his life...

In that moment, you didn't want to cry anymore, to regret things that, fortunately, were in the past now.

"I'm here," your voice was barely a whisper, but he was close enough to hear every word. "I'm not going anywhere."

Javi nodded in agreement, leaning in to meet your lips once again. His skilled fingers unzipped the back of your dress, sending shivers all over your body as his fingertips met your skin. The light fabric pooled around your feet, his gaze darkening as it roamed over your body with desire.

His hands captured your waist, caressing the skin of your ribs and hips. His touch felt desperate, yet gentle. His fingers traced the exposed, soft skin at the edge of your bra, then smoothly moved to unclasp it, freeing the lace that covered your breasts.

You were hypnotized by the waves of heat emanating from both your naked torsos. Restless to relive that skin-to-skin sensation you longed for so much.

"God, how I missed your body," he whispered, almost unconsciously, as he devoured you with his eyes.

Your cheeks flushed even more, a shy smile appearing on your lips. "And I missed your touch, Javi," you confessed back.

With a mischievous grin, Javier glanced at you, his eyes alight with excitement. "Did you?," his voice filled with playfulness. "Did you touch yourself when you missed me?" He wanted to know. You nodded, an innocent gesture that made his cock throb on his pants. "C'mere. Show me," he ordered, leading you to the bed, where he had you lie back in the center.

Javi knelt in front of you, between your legs, your core aching with anticipation. "C'mon, take your panties off," he ordered, and you gladly obeyed.

Pushing your hips up, you grasped the edges of your panties with your fingers and began to slide the garment down your legs.

He couldn't help but hiss when he saw the glistening between your folds, where your honey pooled for him. "Touch yourself, baby, just like how you did when you were thinking of me," he whispered.

You traced a path on your skin, from the place above your belly button, down your body until your delicate middle finger met your slick. Javier was mesmerized as he watched you move up and down along your pussy, taking extra care every time you reached your clit, causing little whimpers to escape from your lips.

Suddenly, Javi felt his pants getting tighter; it was almost painful not to free himself. His hands went to his belt, and he started working on it. "Keep going," he encouraged you, as your eyes followed the glorious path of pubic hair that preceded his cock. You bit your lip, intensifying the movements on your pussy, the sound of your wetness filling the room.

"Don't be shy," he said, his voice thick with lust. "That little pussy looks so good."

You took his word and inserted one finger into your warm body. His breath quivered at the sight; he couldn't contain himself anymore.

"How does it feel?" he asked, as he took his hardened cock out of his briefs. You whimpered at the sight, your walls clenching, as if they were screaming to be stretched by its length. Javi took himself in hand and started jerking off to satisfy his own itch.

"G-good," you mumbled. It was true, but you knew it was nothing compared to the feeling of his cock inside you. So you added a second finger to try to calm your urgency, the gushing sounds surrounding you as you moved your fingers in and out of your pussy. But it wasn't enough. You wanted him.

"Javi..." you murmured.

"Tell me, bonita," he responded, his voice filled with anticipation. "Tell me what you want."

"I want you," you said, without stopping your movements.

"You want me? You want this?" he teased, showing off his cock right in front of you. A pearl of precum glistened on its tip, veins pulsating along its length. Your mouth watered at the sight. "C'mon, take it. It's yours."

He didn't have to tell you twice. You stopped what you were doing and knelt on the mattress to press your body against his. Your hand went directly to his cock, eliciting a growl from his chest.

Javi's cock fit perfectly in your tiny hand as you moved it up and down while kissing him passionately.

You let your body fall over his, and he didn't hesitate to allow himself to be placed underneath you. Your lips then moved to his neck, traveling down to his chest, his stomach... When he realized you were actually going south, he took your chin and made you look at him.

"That's not necessary..." he clarify. He wasn't expecting that.

"I want to," you insisted.

Without another word, you positioned yourself right over his cock, taking it in your hand and placing a kiss on its tip. "Fuck..." he reacted.

You were unsure what to do, as it was the first time you'd done it. You only wanted to make him feel good.

So you tried licking its head, the salty taste on your tongue making your pussy clench around nothing. Then, you attempted to take the head into your warm mouth. You had to open your mouth wider than you expected, your hand gently placed on its base. It was too big, hard, and too long.

You bobbed your head at a constant rhythm, encouraged by the moans and hisses he began to let out. Javi's hand went to your hair, gathering it into a ponytail, both to let you work easily and to clear his view. "Good job, baby," he praised.

When you tried to go further, its head at the back of your throat made you gag, so you had to take a breath. "Take it easy," he said reassuringly as he tucked a stray strand of your hair behind your ear. "You're doin' amazing."

You went back to it, but this time a little lower. "Holy shhh..." he growled, feeling the wetness and warmth of your tongue licking his balls. They tasted salty, heavy on your lips. You closed your hand around his length, moving it up and down to please him. Slurping noises filled the room, amplifying the intensity. "You look so pretty taking my cock like that baby."

You alternated between using your mouth and your hand on his cock and his balls, growing more confident with each movement, trying to take him deeper as you could. Your mouth felt like heaven for him, but he needed to stop. He wanted to fuck to you properly instead of just cum on your tongue. There would be another chance for that.

After a moment, Javi sat on the bed and gestured for you to do the same. You could barely catch your breath before his mouth captured yours, his arm around your waist. You knelt in front of him, providing easy access to your breasts, and he didn't miss the opportunity, capturing one of your nipples into his mouth. You threw your head back, moaning at the sensation, your fingers tangled in his hair.

He worshipped your body, squeezing your hips and back, massaging your ass with his broad hands. Then his fingers found your soaked pussy, taking advantage of how wet you were as he introduced one of them inside you. You whimpered, moving your hips over his hand, desperate to quell the need for him. He added a second thick finger, stretching you so damn good. They slipped in and out without effort, and Javi could feel your slick running down the bare palm of his hand.

Javi licked the sensitive skin of your nipple before shifting to your other breast. He sucked and played with the tip of his tongue on the nipple, just like he did when he played with your clit, like a starved man.

"Javi..." you whimpered.

Once he was satisfied with how wet you were, he guided his cock to your entrance as you instinctively lowered your hips. Both of you moaned as he made his way inside you, stretching your walls. The sensation was painfully familiar for both of you, the feeling of being connected in an intimate, raw way. It was as if you were born for each other, like you belonged together beyond the physical realm.

He didn't waste any time, going straight to help you move over him. Once you understood the assignment, your hips started working almost on their own. "That's it, bonita, give it to me."

You could feel him very deep inside you, his tip brushing against the entrance of your cervix, his balls thrusting against you every time you went down. 

Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer to kiss him, engaging in a battle of tongues and a tangle of legs.

"Your cock feels amazing, mi amor, la extrañé mucho," you whispered in his ear before you bite his earlobe.

"That's why you wanted to suck my cock?" he asked, his fingers gripping tighter on your hips, urging you to move faster. "My fuckin' dirty girl, so right for me..."

"Wanna see how dirty I can get?" placing your hands on his chest, you pushed him back so he could lie down again.

He was pleased with the view. The curves of your body, every roll, every pore, every freckle, every stretch mark. You were so sexy and gorgeous.

He tried to reach for your body, but you took his wrists and placed them over his head. You started moving your hips: up and down, front and back. At first, it was slow, savoring every inch of his cock slipping inside you. Then, you moved faster, riding him as whimpers escaped from your mouth, joining the skin-to-skin sound of your bodies thrusting together. Your hands went to his chest for more balance as you rode him.

"That's it, baby. Don't stop...fuck..." he grunted, his hands on your ass to help you keep going.

You slowed down when your legs began to ache, leaning down to capture his lips. His broad, warm hands caressed your hair, trailing down to your shoulders and back until they reached your waist. With a swift, smooth movement, Javi turned you around. Before you could process it, your body was beneath his, and he penetrated you again. This time, the soft moan you made when you felt him inside was silenced by his mouth.

"I love you, bonita," he promised, moving his pelvis against yours.

With your hands cupping his head, little whimpers escaping your lips, you echoed the sentiment. "I love you so much, Javi."

His thrusts grew harder and faster, his arms bearing his weight to avoid crushing you. His growls and whimpers were music to your ears. Your lips caressed the soft skin of his neck, your hands roamed everywhere along his broad back. He was lost in you, shivers crossing his entire being every time he reached that deep spot inside you, eliciting cries of his name from your lips.

"You like that, bonita? Hm?" he breathed out, his voice captivated by his own pleasure. "Fuck, I love your pussy."

Your orgasm was so close, he could tell by the way your walls clenched around his length, and the rivers of your nectar emanating from your cunt. You tried to warn him, but you could only mumble as your body shuddered beneath him. "I know, baby... Fuck, I'm gonna cum too."

You felt how he was doubtful about his next move. He wanted you to come, of course, but he was so dangerously close to his own release that he needed to be careful not to come inside you. But you were so horny and lost on the pleasure that you knew you want his load dripping out your pussy.

So you tangled your legs around his torso, forcing him inside you. "I'm gonna cum..." he warned.

"It's okay... I want you to fill me up..." you moan.

"Yeah? That's what you want, honey?" He cooed, his lips placing soft, wet kissed on your jawline.

You nodded, "Ye-yes! Fuck, Javiii!" that's the only thing you could say, as his movements were almost erratic, hungrily against you.

"I'm gonna fuck a baby into you... What about that?" he grunted, the mere thought of it made the both of you shiver with pleasure.

"Yes! Oh my... Yes! I-wa.... I'm wanna have your baby, Javi," you mumbled, so lost on the moment that you couldn't even think about the weight of the words you spoke.

"I'm gonna cum so deep on you that you're gonna smell like me for days, baby."

Those were the words that made you finally lost it. Your entire body seemed to implode for a moment before it exploded on a devastating orgasm. Throwing your head back against the mattress, your nails digging on the muscles of his arms and toes curling as your squirted on his cock. A silent scream of pleasure took the shape of Javi's name.

With one last final thrust, Javier followed you reaching his release between deep-voice whimpers and grunts of your name over and over again. You felt his warm load filling up, mixing with your slick, making you clenched even more, milking him so damn good.

As he felt himself softening, he pulled out and lay beside you as both of you tried to catch your breath again. Finally, Javi wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close to his chest, the warmth of his body comforting against your skin. You lay there together in silence, the only sounds filling the room were the rhythmic beating of your hearts and the soft exhales as you both recovered from the intensity of your lovemaking.

After a while, Javier felt your body shake a bit, and it wasn't long before he heard you sniffing. Were you crying? He tried to see your face, but you hid from him with your face against his chest. It was evident that you were crying. He felt a pang in his chest, concern washing over his face as he tried to make you look up at him.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice charged with worry and guilt. "Did I hurt you?"

"No, no," you rushed to say, wiping your tears with your fingers as his brushed your hair and placed it behind your ear. "You didn't do anything. I'm just so happy."

Javier's expression softened as he pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around you protectively. "I'm here, mi amor," he murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "I'm not leaving you ever again."

You melted into his embrace, feeling safe and loved in his arms, the bliss of your orgasms still lingering on your bodies. After a moment of silence, he spoke again, his fingers gently tracing circles on your back. "I really meant it."

Struggling not to fall asleep, since you still had to return to your grandfather's house, you asked, "What?" Your voice was soft, barely audible above the hushed rhythm of your breathing.

"I want to have babies with you." His words hung in the air, tinged with both sincerity and excitement.

You flushed, a warmth spreading across your cheeks as you processed his declaration. Your heart started to beat faster, and you didn’t even think he was completely serious yet.

"Well, we have to get married first, then," you replied, a hint of playfulness in your tone.

"I know,” he added, determination on his tone, “I'm going to ask your grandfather for your hand tomorrow." His eyes meeting yours with unwavering resolve.

"Are you serious?" Your voice was tinged with surprise, a mixture of disbelief and anticipation.

Javier nodded, his gaze softening as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. "Absolutely serious," he affirmed, his tone earnest. "¿Quieres casarte conmigo?”

Your heart fluttered at his words, a rush of emotions welling up inside you. New tears of joy fell down your cheeks as you nodded repeatedly. "¡Sí! Sí quiero, Javi. Quiero casarme contigo," you admitted, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

"Then it's settled," he declared, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead, pulling you closer to him again. "Tomorrow, I'll talk to your grandfather, and soon after, we'll start planning our wedding."

You nestled closer to him, feeling a sense of contentment wash over you. You still couldn’t believe what was happening in that moment. Just that morning, your heart ached with his absence, and you couldn't imagine seeing him ever again. If someone had told you that same afternoon you would be in his arms again, making love with him, and practically engaged, you wouldn't have believed it. You would have thought it was a cruel joke. And yet, there he was with you, vowing to share a life together.

NEXT CHAPTER

[nerdieforpedro]

Weekend Update 02/25/2024

Nerdie! You saw it right! He won! *hugs tightly*

Yes he did! 🥰 We're all so happy for him! Finally!

We're also buzzing about how he looks like he's on the cover of a romance novel. Maybe on a ranch, maybe in the 1800's. It's a pretty versatile look. He likes his deep V's....

As we all should. Also, I'm taking notes on that. *scribbles*

Anything new besides, well clearly pirate adventures?

Pirates have scurvy and Pedro is well nourished so none of that. Other ideas for his characters. Ezra and Pero might have scurvy though. I did manage to write some this week. It's been busy. 👀 Ugh...real life stuff. Nothing major. Just needs to be done.

Nerdie's fics:

Guiding Light (Ezra one shot - I was chatting with @lady-bess and had the idea for this. I always have Ezra in some crime. 😎)

Lunch is happening right? (Part two of my summer romance Javi G fic. Not sure how many parts.)

He told me his name (Din Djarin x plus size female reader) I wrote it after reading a new Din fic by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin (will be listed below. I'd still call it moody because despite writing, I still have trouble with my vocabulary. 🤣 It is pretty though. I'm working on a follow-up since people asked 👀)

Can't win carino (Javi G one shot - for @i-own-loki because she gave me the idea and the moodboard so I ran with it.)

The Man Next Door (Jake Lockley one shot for @megamindsecretlair because she kinda asked, more like I asked her what she wanted in it. She asked for action and smut. I might try more action in fics later.)

Get a room you two and BONE (Part two of my Tim Rockford comedy series which now has romance? I binged too much B99, watched a bit of Castle and a few episodes of Kojak with my mom. The insanity will only increase with part three but maybe there might be some growth between Tim and Doc? Or a hippo.)

Nerdie I thought you said you were busy....that's six fics...

I was and some of them I had been working on for a while. I also had some insomnia (that lead to parts two and three of the Tim Rockford fic). Anyway, on to the main event! 😘

Nerdie's fic recommendations! or things I read this week. 😄

14 x kisses by @trulybetty (Jack Daniels x reader) Part of her 29 days of valentines for February.

Sorgan Girls Are Easy - Solo Din Djarin by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin (the fic that inspired my Din - her Din has 100% more smut)

Half of you - chapter 3 by @foxilayde (Santiago Garcia x fem. reader) Slow burn series - love it and trying to read it slowly to savor it.

Falling for you by @toomanystoriessolittletime (Javi Pena x fem reader) A bittersweet read that had me wonder what was next but I was hopeful.

Sunday Naps by @javierpena-inatacvest (Frankie Morales x fem reader) More proof that cuddling with Frankie leads to wonderful things.

Poe Dameron falling in love with his shy best friend (GN reader) by @i-belong-to-the-stars What one hopes for if you're shy and you're in love with those curls...er Poe. 🫣

Mystery Strain by @rebel-held (Dieter Bravo x GN reader) All kinks are valid and who doesn't love Dieter with a belly? 😘

Bulletproof by @laurfilijames (Jax Teller x fem reader) She wrote poetic porn with feelings. I was overcome, titllated and confused.

A girl walks into a bookshop by @oonajaeadira (Ezra x fem reader) Soft Ezra with a bookshop, yes please! 😄

Beneath the mask by @saradika (Din Djarin x fem reader) A medieval knight Din...so where does one pick up the velvet dress?

Loneliness by @sirowsky (Pero Tovar x GN reader) Pondering Pero in your local Park? Highly recommended for Valentine's Day.

15 x cashmere by @trulybetty (Joel Miller x GN reader) What thread count was it that encouraged Joel to hop in bed in such a state? For my personal file. 👀

He sees you by @maggiemayhemnj (Joel Miller x reader) This writer will tell you she just loves words. I would argue that the words love her in a unique way that makes you see the things. 💜

16 x dance by @trulybetty (Tim Rockford x reader) I pictured him dancing with the reader in his trench coat. @secretelephanttattoo (El) is to the holsters as I am to the trench coat. 🤣 In my mind.

Quiet Moments Collection by @secretelephanttattoo (various Pedro characters x reader) It’s the small instances that you think don’t matter, that are the most meaningful.

Plus One by @always-andromeda (Frankie Morales x fem reader) Always a fan of two idiots in love, even with their spat.

A Strange Fate by @youandmeand5bucks (Silva x fem reader) Two people who came together because of life circumtances. Are they really satisfied?

A Beskar Valentine by @firstofficerwiggles (Din Djarin x female reader) Awesome username, it makes me giggle. Din will be ten steps ahead and still fifteen behind when it comes to matters of the heart. My guy is an overthinking champion.

Seven by @lokischocolatefountain (Javier Pena x reader) A simple discussion about children leads Javier to a drastic solution.

To be Explored Later by @legendary-pink-dot (Frankie Morales x fem reader x Santiago Garcia) aka Ms. Curls if ya nasty! 😘 Somehow I missed the gem of a sandwich. How the reader was able to think about anything is beyond me.

Red Light Glow by @missredherring (Lucian Flores x fem reader) This man has me and @rhoorl keeping track of his silk shirt and gold chain. We would accept his call. The guilt would go away too quickly if we felt it at all. 😌

Incarnadine by @iamskyereads (Pero Tovar x fem reader) This Pero has me swoon with his care toward the reader, his love of baths (I just want him to soak and relax - he's been earning coin!), and his word choice. This is another person that words appear to favor. 💜

Not like I fangirled over these writers this week or anything 👀

What on the docket for this week Nerdie?

Part three of the Javi G summer romance

Maybe...Roc & Doc part three I don't like sitting on finished parts but then I whine about having no motivation for the next part. 👀 I make no sense.

March is toward the end of the week so my March Spring Prompts will start! I scheduled the first six days I think. I got anxious about getting behind (which isn't the point of doing them but anxiety doesn't care) and did some in advance. I like how they're coming along and that they're short. Unlike this update. 🤣 They won't have summaries, but will have warnings, tags and notes.

And because I hear series and I think "I should start another one!" I decided to write an Ezra series. How did I happen upon our favorites prospector/scoundrel/reluctant father figure? I've been reading works by @morallyinept @maggiemayhemnj and @magpiepills

Ezra intimidated me because of his language, but actually, I think I'd get along with him because he puts on a persona with a great deal of performance. It's the audience's job to figure out if you're serious or not. Or at least that's how I approached him. 🤨 This could go badly. I stuck him on the bayou with an air boat and I want him to cook gumbo. *full delusional achievement unlocked*

Special shout-outs to @connectioneverywhere and @soft-girl-musings for sending me lovely asks this week.

Also to @inept-the-magnificent who called Tim Rockford her sidepiece and I am still very tickled. 🤣

This update was long 🤗 Hehe

Love Nerdie ❤️

[pascalscoffin]

Muñequita pt. III

Full Pedro Masterlist

Series Masterlist

It’s a series now…

Prev Next

Warning: Minors Go Away I Will Kick You In The Forehead. Smut: vaginal fingering; brief dry humping; oral (m and f receiving); Javi has a filthy mouth; Cum sharing/eating; Javi calls your pussy "she" (Yes this is gonna happen a lot in prob a lot of fics- i just think its hot okay bye). No piv cause they’re responsible this time. It’s date night bitchessss. Alcohol consumption (some wine). Javi being his usual flirtatious self. Guess what they go dancing again. Javi actually knows how to dance (like tango and shit cause his mama. I however do not know how to dance I just like watching people dance okay goodbye). Javi being an absolute fucking gentleman.

Again, super long

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Date night with Javier came faster than you thought it would, the next two days practically flying by with Valeria in school for most of the day, allowing you to relax and actually clean the house, and then spent the rest of your time obsessing over your date with Javi.

At about three o’clock, four hours before your date, you were sitting in the salon chair getting your hair washed and done up. Your nerves had your leg shaking and you had to keep reminding yourself to stop it so your hair wouldn’t come out janky.

When your hair was done you paid and then rushed home, letting Valeria sit in the bathroom while you got ready, even putting a little lipgloss on her when she asked you to. “Where are you going?” She asked curiously.

“Papá is taking me out on a date.” Valeria gasped loudly. “You didn’t tell me?! Why didn’t you tell me?!” You laughed softly. “You have to tell me next time, mami!” “Okay, okay! I’ll tell you next time.” You shook your head fondly. “You would probably know if you weren’t so obsessed with Elmo.” She groaned. “But you said not to listen to grown up stuff!” You pursed your lips a little. She had you there. “You’re a very good listener, Valeria.” You kissed the top of her head. “Now, papá will be here in… half an hour. How many minutes is that?”

“Thirty!” Valeria threw her hands up as she shouted the number, making you smile. “Muy bien. Una muñequita tan lista.” Very good. Such a smart little doll You said happily, walking out of the bathroom with her, subconsciously straightening and fiddling with the hem of it.

You were so nervous you hadn’t been able to eat anything all day, your stomach twisting itself into knots and flipping upside down and inside out. You weren’t sure why you were nervous, Javi liked you, you knew that, and he loved Valeria.

But even still, the what ifs started to plague your brain. What if he says something funny and drink comes shooting out of your nose all over him? What if he just finds your laugh annoying? (Absolutely ridiculous because he’d explicitly told you the night you met that he absolutely adored it) what if the date goes astronomically well and then just as you’re about to seal the deal, clothes strewn, he decides he doesn’t like your body post-baby?

You have cellulite now, stretch marks across your stomach and the insides of your thighs, the tightly pulled skin more sensitive than all those years ago. What if he decides he prefers women with smoother skin, unbothered by blemishes?

“¿Mami? ¿Qué te pasa?” Mommy? What’s wrong? Valeria tugged on your hand and you looked down at her. “Nothing. I’m fine, sweetheart.” You kissed her cheek and went to sit down with her, or more to let her sit while you stayed standing, not wanting to crease your dress before Javi saw it in all its original glory. After a moment you heard Valeria’s little voice speak up.

“You look pretty, mommy.” You looked over at her and smiled softly, stopping your pacing to go over to her. “Thank you, Valeria.” You sighed and finally sat down. “I’m nervous.” You told her, laughing lightly.

“Why?” You opened your mouth and then closed it, humming. “… I’m just worried he won’t… like me like he did.” Valeria didn’t seem to understand, frowning deeply and shaking her head. “But… he asked you on a date.” You bit your lip. Leave it to a five year old to inadvertently tell you to get your head out of your ass.

“That’s… true.” You laughed. “I’m sorry, Muñequita. It’s adult stuff.” Valeria looked at you funny but dropped it and looked back at the tv, leaning into you now that you were sitting down.

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When a knock finally came Valeria perked up and bolted to the door, peering through one of the side windows to make sure it was Javi before yanking the door open excitedly, just barely able to reach the handle. “Daddy!” She squealed, throwing herself into his legs as Javier laughed, overjoyed that Valeria was still so excited to see him.

“Valeria!” He gushed, reaching down to pick her up with one arm, the other holding flowers. “You look handsome, daddy.” Valeria giggled and played with Javi’s tie, when she saw the flowers, though she gasped loudly before he could respond.

“Are those for mommy?” She whispered as you came around the corner. Javier grinned and nodded. “They are for mommy.” He looked over when he heard your footsteps and his smile slipped but was replaced instead with a shocked expression, his eyes running over your frame as he gently set Valeria down. “Hey.” He said softly.

You felt your cheeks warm up as you shifted. “Hey.” You smiled softly. “Mommy! Daddy got you flowers, look!” Valeria pointed to the flowers as she bounced. “They’re so pretty!” Your eyes fell to the flowers as Javier held them out to you.

“Oh- Javi you didn’t have to get-“ “what kinda dad would I be if I didn’t show Valeria how a man is supposed to treat her on a date?” Javi raised a brow and you couldn’t help but laugh as you took them. “Besides… hard workin’ mama like yourself needs some pretty flowers.” You felt your cheeks warm up as you smiled and brought the flowers up to sniff. “… thank you. I’m gonna put them in water and uh… then we have to run Valeria to Mrs. Sanders’ and then we can go.” You laughed softly.

Javi nodded and followed you inside while you put the flowers in water and made sure you had everything you needed, mumbling to yourself. Keys, purse, phone, Valeria and Javi-you pointed towards where they stood by the door-and my brain. “Okay let’s go.”

Javi looked down at Valeria with a does-she-always-do-this kinda face, to which Valeria responded with a simple nod. You stopped in front of them and put your hands on your hips, clearing your throat. When they looked at you, you saw two identical puppy eyed what faces, causing you to shake your head. “Come on, Mrs. Sanders is waiting.”

“Mommy she told you to call her Sandy.” Valeria put her tiny hands on her tiny hips and raised a brow at her. “Okay, Miss sassafras.” “Miss sassafras?” Javi looked at you curiously and you shrugged. “Something my grandma used to say when I got sassy.” You looked back at Valeria, missing the way he smiled and gazed at the two of you, like you were his whole world.

Javi held Valeria on your short walk across yards, even though you’d told both of them she was more than capable of doing it alone. They both had the same excuse it’s dark out! They just met and they were already two peas in a pod. Your actual womb was practically bursting at the sight of them connecting so quickly.

As you stepped onto the porch and knocked, Javi looked around and then at you. “I know why your neighborhood seems familiar now.” “Oh, really?” Before he could answer the door swung open and there was a loud squeal.

“¡Javier! ¡Qué alegría verte! Bienvenido a casa, ¡mira qué guapo te has puesto!” Javier! Oh it’s so good to see you! Welcome home, look how handsome you’ve gotten! Sandy pulled Javi and, by association, Valeria into a bone crushing hug. “¡Adelante, adelante! No te entretendré mucho, pero necesito verte a la luz, Dios mío.” Come in, come in! I won’t keep you long but I need to see you in the light, my goodness She ushered the three of you in. “My gosh. How have you been, Javi?”

You stepped into her living room, Javi sitting Valeria on the couch and smiling at Sandy. “I’m good, Sandy. How’ve you been?” “Oh I’ve been okay. Much better now that I have y/n and Valeria to keep me company.” Javi grinned and looked at you, absolutely charmed that you kept his tia-by-association company in her old age. “They’re good company to keep, no?” Javi’s cheeks turned just a flash pink before he was nodding in agreement. “They are.”

You felt your own face warm up and Sandy laughed softly. “Okay, you two go on now. You and I can catch up another time. You have reservations to get to. Off you go.” Sandy was practically shoving you out the door now. “Jeez, where’s the love?”

“It’s there. Feel it. Embrace it. Now share it. Goodnight I will see you tomorrow. Valeria say goodbye to mommy and daddy!” “¡Adiós mamá! ¡Adiós papá!” Goodbye, mommy! Goodbye, daddy! Valeria yelled, occupied with her cookies and tv.

“That’s all we’re getting.” You laughed, the two of you calling goodbye back to her before going to Javi’s truck. Javi, of course opened your door for you and even took your hand to help stabilize you while you got into his truck.

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About twenty-five minutes later after a fifteen minute drive and a ten minute wait, you were seated at your table, Javier looking over the wine list. “This place doesn’t have beer but I remember you saying you liked red, and they have good reds.” You felt your cheeks warm up, remembering momentarily mentioning, six years ago mind you, that you preferred red wine over most alcohol drinks, joking that it made you feel fancy but it also just didn’t upset your stomach quite as much as other kinds did.

“You remember that?” You asked curiously. He looked up over the top of the menu and pursed his lips a bit before he nodded. “Yeah.” He said softly, shrugging. “… I remember a lot of the stuff we talked about.” He smiled softly. You smiled shyly and looked down. “I do, too.” You said softly and he nodded, reaching across the table slowly. “I’m glad you agreed to this.” He gently took your hand and you laughed softly as you laced your fingers with his. “Me too.”

“I know I’ve said it four times since we got in my truck but you really look good tonight.” You laughed softly and looked down as your face warmed up. “Thank you, Javi. So do you. I like that tie.”

Javier looked down at his tie and grinned. “Yeah? Thanks, Christmas gift from my dad.” He muttered, his smile dropping a little as he remembered all the Christmases he’d missed and felt the guilt build in his stomach as you reached across the table, taking his hand in yours.

“Jav… it’s not your fault, okay?” You said softly, squeezing his hand. “It’s mine. I should’ve told you.” You chewed on your lip. “Her birthday is in a few months, though. You can make it up to her then. Besides… she understands why she never got presents from you, you were busy. Fighting the Chicos malos, remember?” Javier chuckled softly and shook his head.

“… she really thinks I’m some kinda hero.” It wasn’t a question, more of a statement, like he was testing the words, getting a feel for them. “Cause you are, Javi.” You rolled your eyes. “Maybe not by traditional standards, but you are a type of hero. Especially to her.” You said softly. “You can’t freak out every time she says it. Otherwise you’ll be in a constant state of freaked the fuck out.”

Javier actually laughed this time, boisterously, and the sight made you smile, laughing with him as he nodded. “Fine. Fine. I’ll stop.” He sighed and looked down at the wine menu again. “Alright… I think I know which one we’re gonna get. You can get whatever you want to eat, Querida. Don’t worry about the price.”

You wondered briefly why he said that- and then you looked at the menu and choked on your own spit. “Jesus- Javi this is-“ “if you say this is too much I’m gonna shove a breadstick in your mouth.” Javi picked up a breadstick and pointed it at you, his eyes locked onto his own food menu. “You birthed my child by yourself five years ago. The least I can do is buy you an expensive dinner.”

You closed your mouth and pouted a little before nodding. “Okay.” You sighed softly and looked through the menu, finding yourself subconsciously looking at the cheaper things on the menu before wandering over towards the higher priced items, deciding to go with the lowest priced thing from the more expensive items.

After the waiter came and took your orders, he poured you both a glass of the wine Javi before leaving the bottle there in a bucket of ice, and then walking away to take other orders. You and Javi talked about the wine, you knowing more about what to say since Javi was more of a liquor or beer man.

“… how long was it? Your labor?” He asked softly after a few minutes of surprisingly comfortable silence. “Oh god.” You laughed softly. “Um… 26 hours.” His eyes got wide. “26-?!” He looked around when a bunch of old people looked at him and you smiled awkwardly and waved shyly. “26 hours?” He whisper-shouted, leaning across the table.

You nodded slowly. “Yeah.” “That’s an entire day plus two hours.” “Last time I checked.” “Fuck..” you laughed softly. “How the hell did you look so good in that picture?” You blinked a couple times and raised a brow. “Good? Javi- I’m covered in sweat, afterbirth, tears. I look like I just lost a fight with a UFC fighter.”

Javier started shaking his head. “You look fucking gorgeous in that photo.” “You’re actually psychotic, I’m afraid. I look like a troll guarding a bridge.” “Don’t talk about the mother of my child that way.” Javi tore a piece of breadstick off and chucked it at you, his eyebrows lifting when it fell right into your dress.

You looked down at your chest and then up at him and the two of you started laughing. “Great. Now it’s gotta stay in there.” You shook your head. “Sorry.” “Are you?” “…. Not really. That was funny.” You were still laughing about it when the waiter came back with your food, offering you both a polite smile as he announced each meal as he sat the plates down, turning them as he did so like he was showing off the food, you returned the smile and thanked him, your stomach growling louder than you wanted it to at the sight of the food.

You looked up and saw the waiter and Javier looking at you with cheeky looks. You looked between them. “I eat Dino nuggets and tater tots three times a week- any other time is spaghetti or white people tacos, okay? I’m stuck on the diet of a toddler. This food looks like heaven on a plate.”

The two of them chuckled and the waiter bid his goodbye before scampering off to do his job, sparing one last look at the two of you- you were a cute couple, usually he hated his customers but you two were just too cute to have any hate towards.

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“Dessert?” You looked up from your now empty plate towards Javier with wide eyes. “Huh?” “Do you want dessert?” Javier chuckled. “Oh god… oh my god yes.” You reached across the table, your eyes glossy and begging. “I can have the whole thing to myself?”

“Of course you can.” Javier laughed and you groaned happily. “Oh my god this is the best night of my life.” You shook your head. “I have to share everything with Valeria. Believe me I love her and I love sharing with her but… sometimes I want to eat a whole sundae by myself- or actually get to eat the ice cream I ordered because she decided to be adventurous and then decided she didn’t want the one she had- halfway through eating it so we were too far to turn around.”

“Wow.” “Sorry- I’m not trying to scare you away.” Javier shook his head frantically. “You’re not. It’s obvious you love her. I love spending time with her, and honestly I’d give her whatever the fuck she wanted from me.” You laughed and nodded. “Those big brown eyes certainly have that effect. I’m glad she got your eyes.” “I’m just glad she didn’t get my nose.” You laughed harder and shook your head. “Stop, Javi. I like your nose.”

Javi scrunched his face and shook his head. “It’s just a nose, Querida. Nothing to like about it.” You felt your cheeks warm up a little, thinking of a few things to like about it. Javier seemed to notice because a slow smirk stretched across his face. “Bonito.” Cute. He teased as you shook your head. “Shut up and eat your dessert.”

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You were back in his truck now, looking around curiously as the scenery turned from familiar to unfamiliar. “Where are we going?” You looked over at Javier curiously, brows furrowed.

He chuckled softly. “It’s a surprise.” You raised a brow. “A surprise?” He nodded. “Yes. A surprise.” He looked over at you and grinned. “Don’t worry. I think you’ll like it.” He winked and you shook your head, cheeks warming as you looked out the window.

Soon enough he pulled up outside- “Javi, is this a dance studio?” You looked up at the building, which adorned a giant sign with ballerina feet. “You’ve cracked another case, Sherlock.” Javier chuckled and got out, jogging over to your side to open the door.

“Why are we at a dance studio?” You asked as he helped you out. “They hold classes once a week.” His cheeks flushed as you looked at him. “… so that’s why you chose today.” He shrugged. “You liked La Bachata… so I thought maybe you’d like to try tango or something.” Your cheeks got hot as you shifted shyly. “Javi… that’s sweet.” You couldn’t think of what else to say. Sweet was the only word your brain could muster.

Javi chuckled and nodded. “Come on.” He took your hand and guided you to the door, opening it to let you in first. Once you got inside you found what room the class was in and felt your nerves start to scratch at your skin the closer you got to the door.

“You won’t laugh if I suck, right?” Javi laughed softly and shook his head. “Of course I won’t laugh, Hermosa.” He kissed your cheek gently. “I’ll help you. Been dancin’ since I was a niño pequeño.” Little boy. That made you even more nervous. Great. Now you were going to make a fool in front of Javi, who’s been doing this shit since he was in fucking diapers.

"Oh, great. That makes me feel so much better." You shook your head with a soft laugh and chewed on your lip. "Okay, let's go." You smiled and he nodded happily. "You'll have a good time. I promise." "I better." You teased. You knew the chances of you not having a good time were slim to none, you enjoyed being around Javi, it didn't really matter what you were doing.

When you walked into the room you were relieved to see some of the people already there seemed just as nervous as you felt, so you could relax a bit, comforted by the notion of not being the only inexperienced one seconds away from having a massive coronary.

The instructors, thankfully, were extremely nice, even if their Latin beauty made you hate them because who shimmers in florescent fucking lighting? You'd bet your whole salary that she didn't have a single stretch mark or cellulite dent.

When they had all the couples spread out across the dance floor they circled around the room, straightening posture and getting everyone into the right positions and stances. When the woman got to you, her skin golden, arms slender as she set them on her waist and tsked her tongue at you and Javier, you felt judged but not derogatorily so, more so like she was expecting something... more from the two of you, like she could feel the tensions radiating off of you..

"No, no, no. Esto no va a hacer." No, no, no. This will not do. She put her hands on your backs. "Too much space, get closer." She nudged the two of you closer and nodded when your chests bumped together. "Perfect." She smirked, gave you a little wink, and then spun on her heel and made her way back to her husband, an equally attractive Latin man with lighter skin, but his hair just as dark and eyes just as sultry as his wife's.

You watched her go and looked up at Javier curiously, your face burning. “Javi- I don’t have the coordination for this.” “Nonsense.” Javier shook his head. “You’ll do great, besides, look at the rest of these goofballs. None of them have a sexy Latin to keep them on their feet.” You shook your head at him, laughing softly. “You’re insane.” “Maybe.” Javier shrugged a little. "For you." He added with a wink.

You and the other students watched the instructors, moving with them as they showed each move a couple times, before letting the couples practice while just focusing on themselves.

Javier was good, of course he was, he practically came out the womb doing this shit. Because you had a partner that knew all the steps already, it was easy for you to get a grasp on the dance and soon enough you and Javier were moving around the floor gracefully.

You weren’t quite as confident in your moves as Javier was, which means you didn’t quite put your all into it, but the longer you danced, the more you felt Javier’s hands on your waist or sliding over your arms. You felt yourself fall further into the dance, moving more freely and less stiff.

When Javi spun you out without much of a warning you yelped, his grip on your hand kept you from spinning away completely, though. When he brought you back to his chest it was just as abrupt but not out of beat or clumsy, you let out a gasp as his free arm wrapped around your waist and tugged you tight against his chest, and then dipped you down in one fluid motion, letting go of your hand in favor of grabbing onto your thigh.

His arm around your waist, his fingers digging into your thigh, they were driving you crazy, the skin practically on fire under his calloused fingers, the digits twitching near the hem of your dress, like he wanted to push his hand up higher.

Your face and neck burned as he grinned and kissed you, slowly bringing you up, you heard clapping around you. Nothing crazy, just soft respectful claps as you shook your head. “Javi-“ “you did fantastic.” Javi chuckled and held your chin between his fingers. “Just like I thought. Practically a natural.” You shook your head again with a soft laugh. "Javi..." you repeated.

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When the class was over, the instructors stood by the door to tell everyone goodnight and to invite them back the next week.

You and Javi were closer on the way back to his truck, his arm around your waist as he opened your door for you. You kissed his cheek before getting into the truck, you knew the date would be over soon, Javi would take you home and since Valeria was staying the night with Sandy, you’d be alone and left to do house work until you got tired.

"Sorry i kissed you like that around all those people." He chuckled once he got in the driver's side. "I've been wantin' to kiss you all night, you look fucking fantastic in that dress." He started the truck as he turned his head towards you. You smiled and shook your head, reaching out to hold one of his hands while he drove. "Believe me- it was more than okay." You laughed softly.

"I've really missed you, Javi. I'm comfortable around you, even then, even now." You squeezed his hand and saw a soft smile stretch across his face. "i wanted to call, or write but I... I was just so scared and I.. I didn't want to distract you over there... I knew it was dangerous there and I didn't want you to get hurt because you found out I kept her from you."

Javi got a soft forwn on his face as he started shaking his head. "I understand, Querida. Don't feel bad. I wasn't ready to be a dad- mentally or.. physically. I wasn't a good man over there. I'm not convinced I am one over here but... I want to try. For you and her."

You smiled softly and squeezed his hand tightly. "We would love that, Javi. We really would." You said softly, leaning over to press another kiss to his cheek. He smiled and leaned into it as he nodded. "Good. I don't know what I would do if you told me you didn't want me in your lives."

You shook your head. "I'd never say that- for one I'm pretty sure Valeria would probably smother me in my sleep- if the guilt didn't kill me first." Javi chuckled and chewed on his lip. "I'm glad she likes me so much." "Likes you? Javi she's been in love with you since she was old enough to know you existed." You laughed softly.

"She used to... beg me to tell stories about you. About us..." You looked down with a small frown. "I never had much to tell her. But I made sure she knew it was my fault you weren't around. She's never had any ill-will towards you, no malice, nothing. I told her how... easy it was to be around you, though, how comfortable I was.. and she knows we weren't.. together. She doesn't understand how that works but she knows no one left or gave up." You said softly. "She... gets a little sad seeing all the other little girls with their daddies, sometimes she would.. get mad at me for it, for not telling you." Javi furrowed his brows and you shook your head. "I preferred it that way- her being mad at me instead of you." You shrugged and smiled softly at him.

"We don't have to worry about that anymore, though. You're here now, you know, and you're not running in the other direction. She loves you, you're absolutely smitten with her. All we have to focus on now is the future." Javi nodded in agreement, looking at you occasionally as he drove. He could tell you felt bad, guilty, about not saying anything to him sooner, and he hated that you felt that way.

The rest of the drive was quiet, comfortable, but still quiet. When he pulled into your driveway you took a deep breath and looked at him. "Do you... maybe wanna come in? For some wine or.. or something?" You didn't have to do anything, you weren't planning to anyway. You didn't have condoms inside, you weren't on birth control. Those were things you hadn't needed for six years, and as much as you would love to take Javi into your bedroom and let him fill you with another baby- doing something like that now would be incredibly.. dumb and premature.

Javi smiled at your offer and turned his truck off. "I would love to." He said softly before getting out and jogging over to your side, pulling open your door and taking your hand to help you out the same way he'd helped you in earlier- a quick peek over his shoulder shows Sandy peering out her window with a smirk before she disappeared.

You shook your head a little and headed to the door with Javi, opening it and stepping inside.

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Truly, you had to be an idiot to think you could be alone, in a private setting with Javi, and not want him in or on top of you. Add wine and one of your CDs to the mix and you're truly, truly fucked.

It had started simple enough, Javi stayed in the living room while you went into the kitchen and grabbed two wine glasses and a bottle of red you've had opened since he left that first night. When you'd come back you'd found him standing near your stereo, loosening his tie a bit as he looked at your collection. Both of your shoes were sitting neatly by the door in the cubby you'd bought after Valeria started walking, wanting somewhere for her to put her shoes when she took them off. The sight had your chest warming.

"... you can put one in if you want." He looked good, the lighting of your house was brighter than the restuarant but softer than the dance studio, making his skin look tanner and more touchable, you had to look away to compose yourself. "Yeah?" Javi looked at you and then back at the CDs. "Any particular one you feel like hearing?" You hummed, slowly shaking your head as you filled the glasses about halfway before setting the bottle down. "Not really, whatever you wanna listen to."

It took him a minute, but soon you heard the disc tray slide out, a cd drop on it, and then the sound of it sliding back in before the music started.

A soft smile pulled at your lips as the sound of 'Big Love' by Fleetwood Mac started to fill your ears. Your favorite. You picked up the glasses and carried them over to Javi, extending one out to him. "How'd you know this was my favorite album?" Javi chuckled and picked up the worn out case. "Intuition." He teased.

You'd showed him around a little, your house was ground floor so there were no basements or attics or upstairs to venture towards, and since he'd already seen Valeria's bedroom, and your bathroom there wasn't much else to show him, besides your bedroom, but that felt like it held an implication, a duty, so you avoided it and led him back to the couch.

It was inevitable, really, that you would end up here, Javi's lips molding against yours as your tongues pressed and twisted together as the sound of 'Everywhere' filled the house. If your mouth wasn't so occupied you probably would've laughed at how accurately it described how you'd felt about Javi since having him back.

You were perched on his lap at this point, your hips rocking together languidly. His hands were gripping your dress, bunching it up at your waist tightly, ruining that pristine perfection you'd been so worried about earlier, likely bruising your hips- except now you couldn't care about the possible bruising or the crinkles in your dress. How could you? Javi was panting into your mouth, letting out deep, quiet moans with every synchronized grind of your hips, your sounds mixing together with Stevie Nicks' voice. You'd be a fool to care about crinkling a dress when this was happening.

"You gonna show me your bedroom?" He mumbled softly and the sentence had your stomach fluttering like a teenager. "I don't have condoms." You rushed out quickly, swallowing thickly as he raised a brow. "Me neither.. obviously the birth control thing doesn't work." He teased and you laughed softly, your cheeks warming up.

"But.. y'know I can still make you cum without fucking you- and I don't know if you remember but I love it almost as much as the first thing." Your eyes widened as he smirked, watching the realization flood your face. "Now... unless you're not into it- which I know you definitely were into it." He eased you off his lap and stood up. "You left one room out of your tour."

You shook your head and grabbed his hand before tugging him towards your bedroom, chewing on your lip. "I don't look the same... my body, it's different" You told him once you got to your room, clearing your throat a little as he moved closer to you. "Well.. obviously, Querida." He chuckled softly and grabbed your chin, lifting your head to look at him. "Tuviste un bebé. Mi bebé." You had a baby. My baby. He whispered softly, nudging his nose against yours lightly. "It's loved and grown and cared for a little baby." He added, his free hand sliding up your curves, over your stomach, and finally up to palm one of your breasts, making your breath hitch.

You swallowed thickly and chewed on your lip. "I'm bigger now, and I've got stretch marks and cellulite-" "Your body is proud of it's accomplishments, that's all that is, showing the world how strong you are." He purred softly, tilting your head up more before he leaned down and pressed his lips to your neck, sliding them over the soft skin with gentle kisses. "You should be just as proud."

He walked you towards your bed, his hands coming up to pull the zipper of your dress down your back, and then slipping it over your shoulders, groaning softly as he watched it fall to the floor, taking your hands to help you step out of it before turning you around, a wide grin on his face as he took a step back. "Mamacita.." He purred softly, sliding his eyes over you hungrily. "Mírate. Fucking beautiful." look at you.

"Javi... you're still wearing your clothes." He chuckled. "I know, Mamacita. Wait on the bed, get comfortable." You pouted and he chuckled. "You're not going to until I let you undress me, are you?" You shook your head defiantly and he rolled his eyes fondly before pulling you in. "Fine." He whispered before kissing you softly.

You smiled against his lips, your hands coming up to pull his tie loose and toss it somewhere, quickly followed by that jacket before you started unbuttoning his shirt, not as fast as you'd rid him of his tie and jacket, and when you finally had it untucked and off his shoulders you pulled away and pushed him back a little.

Your lips separated with a soft smack and you could've sworn you heard Javi whine. He frowned at first, thinking you wanted to stop, and then he saw the look in your eyes, how you were eating him up like he'd done you moments ago. Then, you reached out and grabbed his belt buckle, tugging him forward and kissing him again.

He groaned loudly and grabbed your hips tightly, moaning as your hands tugged his belt open and out of the loops. Once his slacks were pushed down he stepped out of them and pushed you back towards your bed, watching you fall down on it with a soft groan. "Been dreamin' about doin' this again for years, baby.” He climbed over you, pressing a kiss to your neck.

You shuddered and wrapped your arms around his neck loosely, tilting your head so he’d have more room. “Me too, Javi.” You said softly. “Haven’t been with anybody since you.” You bit your lip as he leaned back to look down at you. “What?”

You shook your head a little and shifted. “Haven’t wanted to. Haven’t needed to.” You said softly. “I felt bad, Y’know Valeria’s just a baby.. it would’ve felt wrong.” You chewed on your lip as you looked up at him, swallowing thickly. “And when I was pregnant… well I was pregnant, Y’know? Fat and sweaty and gross.” Javi shook his head. “You couldn’t be gross. Ever.” He gripped your chin tightly and leaned down to kiss you. "Talk down about my baby mama-" he muttered against your neck disapprovingly, making you laugh softly. "Should be ashamed." He added

“Bet you looked gorgeous pregnant.” Javi kissed your forehead, then your cheeks, and finally your chin before leaning back again. “Would’ve been all over you, Querida.” He purred, nudging his nose against your cheek. "Not gonna miss the second one."

"Second one?" You teased with a soft laugh. Javi hummed and nodded, kissing your neck. "Mhm. Gonna stay around, make you mine, make both of y'all mine. Have a big happy family." You felt your cheeks warm up, smiling up at him.

"you sure you want that? Wanna be stuck in little Laredo with me and a house full of babies?" Javi grinned widely and leaned down to kiss you. "As long as you're the mama." He purred softly before trailing his lips down your torso, peering up at you.

"For right now, though... we can settle for this. For our one little baby." He said softly, nipping lightly at your skin as you shuddered. "Can worry about filling you up later, after I put a ring on that finger." You didn't know how truthful he was being, if he actually wanted to marry you or if he was just overwhelmed with all these familiar emotions. But you hoped he meant it, prayed he meant it.

His lips ghosted over your core, still covered in the soft black lace you'd put on earlier- just because you weren't expecting him to see you like this, doesn't mean you can't wear something to give you some confidence. You let out a soft gasp and looked down at him, swallowing thickly. The only orgasming you'd done since Valeria was born was from masturbating, and it wasn't a recurring thing because Valeria often ended up sleeping in your bed before morning.

Lately you hadn't been able to make yourself cum at all, too busy caring for Valeria, working, or cleaning up the house. Of course, night time was usually when you took your chance, but Val was having trouble sleeping lately, which usually meant by ten she was knocking on your door and asking for milk or to sleep with you, and you could never say no to her.

"Querida?" Javi's voice drifted to your ears and you looked down at him from the ceiling, blinking a little. "You okay?" You nodded quickly. "Uh-huh. I'm okay." Javi chuckled softly. "Alright, looked like you were somewhere else for a second there- I hope I'm not boring you already." His tone was teasing but you could see a flash of something else, too, doubt maybe? Insecurity?

You widened your eyes and shook your head rapidly. "No- absolutely not." You laughed softly. "Sorry- just- been a few months since I've been able to get enough time to myself to.. y'know enjoy myself to completion." Javi's eyes widened. "I guess that's what I was thinking about."

"Not even in the shower?" you shrugged a little. "My showers hardly ever exceed 15 minutes and honestly I'm pretty sure Valeria would literally run away towards something more entertaining if I took too long." Javi laughed softly and nodded like he understood where you were coming from.

"Okay-I promise I'm not gonna be in my head anymore. I'm here. completely here." Javi smiled and leaned up to press a soft kiss to your lips before he was diving back down again.

He was taunting you a bit this time, pressing feather light kisses to your core as he slowly tugged the panties down your legs, humming as he scraped his teeth lightly against your skin, chuckling softly when your thighs twitched as he went over the stretchmarks, looking up at you with a smirk.

You couldn't make yourself look away if Jesus himself came down and told you it would save the world. Damn the world, Javier Peña was between your legs, sliding his tongue over the insides of your thighs before finally, finally putting it where you wanted it and sliding it firmly through your folds, flattening his tongue completely as you shuddered.

"Javi..." you moaned and dropped your head back, your eyelids finally fluttering shut. You whined though when as you'd pushed up towards javi's face, he was pushing you back down against the mattress and holding you there firmly, looking at you through his lashes.

He was holding your clit in his mouth, tongue massaging the sensitive bundle of nerves when you felt a finger nudge at your hole and then slip in ever so slowly. Your back arched and you moaned, your eyelids fluttering but not really opening.

Javi was moaning against you, pushing his hips down into the mattress as he groaned, sucking on your clit happily. The noises he was making were driving you up the wall, sending vibrations through you that had your legs shaking, whimpering happily and tangling your fingers tightly in his hair. "J-Javi.. fuck." You moaned, chewing on your lip as you looked down at him.

"Feels so good, Javi." Javi smirked a little against you, humming softly. He held eye contact with you, one hand still firmly gripping your hip as he slid a second finger into you and curling them up.

You let out a soft gasp, your hips jerking up a bit as he started thrusting and curling his fingers, his mouth still sucking on your clit while simultaneously massaging it with his tongue. His fingers were thrusting in and out of you, curling and twisting as he fucked you with them, his eyes glued to yours.

Eventually you started to tug on his hair, trying to bring him up with weak whines. Javi, who remembered how you'd begged him to kiss you that night, latching your lips to his whenever you had the chance, immediately caught on and let you pull him up into a breathy kiss. That night it took him no time to realized how much you liked to be kissed, how your breath would leave you and you would let out the cutest sound, he found it endearing, not to mention ironic because even though he didn't seem like the type- Javi was big on kissing.

There was something about the vanilla taste of most lipglosses, the soft stickiness it left behind, that made his heart purr and curl up like a warm kitten. Maybe it was the implication of a good time, or even just the soft intimacy of having someone kiss him, want him for something that didn't involve shoving a gun in someone's face or putting cold metal cuffs around their wrists.

Eating someone out was a close second to kissing them, a very very close second, and as much as he loved being buried in a tight, warm, wet pussy, those two things blew fucking out of the water. But, in his six year journey of thinking about you all the time, he came to realize that if he tried the scale on you, tried to think of which he preferred more, he couldn't even compare them.

It was corny as shit and if he thought about it too much it freaked him out, but evertyhing with you was his favorite thing. He wanted it all, all the time.

As he kissed you he eased in a third finger and pressed his thumb against your clit and slowly circling it, humming softly as you moaned against his mouth, wrapping your arms around his neck to hold him closer to you since he was still holding you down with that other hand.

With Javi this close to you, his cock laying heavily against you, his fingers fucking and massaging inside you, when he rediscovered your gspot you'd twitched around his fingers, he felt your nails dig into his shoulders, and your jaw went slack, breaking the kiss, but with no sound actually coming out.

"Ahí está. Apuesto a que me extrañó /tanto/." There she is. I bet she missed me /so much/. He purred, continuing to massage your g-spot, watching the way your eyelids fluttered and then finally closed, brows furrowing as you let out breathy moans, his name occasionally slipping out. "Doing so good for me, mamacita. Squeezing my fingers so well." Your stomach twitched when his warm precum started to dribble onto your stomach, ears burning at his words. "Javi." You shuddered. "You're being vulgar." You said softly.

"Oh, Querida... but she loves when i talk about her." He purred, starting to add more pressure to your clit and gspot, making you moan louder as your chest pressed up into his, your nails dragging down his back an inch before they stopped. "She just cries and throbs for me~" You shuddered and whimpered softly.

You wanted to have some kind of upperhand here, wanted to return the favor, so you gathered his precum from where it was pooling on your torso and gripped the base of his cock, watching as his eyes squeezed shut and his jaw clenched. "Fuck- you don't have to. Could probably cum just from this."

You shook your hand and drug your hand up slowly, watching the way his shoulders shuddered and his muscles trembled under the skin. The same way they had then when you touched him, the same way you'd felt them trembling that first night, and again at dinner, and again when you were dancing. Javi's muscles quaked every time you touched him, sometimes sending a full shiver through him, other times making his fingers twitch or his hand curl up and rub his palm like he was squeezing a stress ball.

"Wanna make you cum, Javi." You moaned and pushed down on his fingers, not matching the speed he was using. "Want you to cum in my mouth, though." You whined. "Only got to taste it once." He groaned and dropped his face into your neck, fucking into your hand a little, stopping his hand in favor of throughly massaging your gspot and clit with the same circular motions. When his hand slid from your hip and to the bottom of your abdomen, immediately pressing down, not enough to hurt you, but hard enough that everything felt a hundred times better.

"Javi- Javi I-I'm gonna..." your hand was moving sloppier now, a little slower as your orgasm started to demand its release from its six month prison. "Joder, sí, mamacita. Cum para mí. Empapa mis dedos- mierda- quiero ver esa cara bonita cuando te corras. Keep your eyes open." Fuck, yes. Cum for me. Soak my fingers- shit- I want to see that pretty face when you cum. He pressed his forehead against yours, groaning happily as he lazily fucked your hand, you wanted to taste him and he was happy to let that happen, but your hand felt so fucking good, so until you came down he was going to take a little advantage of that.

You came with a loud cry, arching your back as your legs trembled and you felt an unfamilar gushing feeling. You did your best to keep your eyes open, looking up into Javi's big brown ones made it a little easier. "There you go, baby. Fuck, look at you. Fucking gorgeous, especially when you cum." You shuddered and whined. "Did- did I-" "You did." Javi chuckled softly and kissed you softly as he circled your clit slowly, when your hips jerked away he stopped and kissed your neck. "Did so good for me, too." "You were trying to make me do that." "Well, duh. You said you haven't cum in months. Had to make the first one after a dry spell mind-blowing."

You blinked rapidly and shook your head slowly before kissing him deeply, sitting up and cupping his cheeks before you pulled away. "Sit back." He grinned and did as he was told, leaning back against your headboard and watching as you got between his legs, licking his lips slowly.

He set his hand on the back of your head, not pushing or tugging on your hair, just holding his hand there. You felt his other hand grasp at your fingertips and you coudn't help but smile against the skin of his stomach, sliding your hand up to lace your fingers together.

When you finally got to where he wanted your mouth, lips grazing over the length of his cock, he gasped and dropped his head back, muttering something in Spanish that was too quiet for you to hear good enough. You smiled and hummed softly before using your free hand to grasp the base of his cock before wrapping your lips around the tip and slowly sliding down, taking him all the way down your throat with just a little resistance, your throat not used to be stuffed so full.

"Fuck- look at you." Javi groaned, his brows furrowing as he looked down at you. "So pretty with my cock in your mouth." His hips jerked a bit, making you gag. "Joder. Lo siento, cariño. Lo siento." Fuck. I'm sorry, honey. I'm sorry. He said softly, forcing himself to settle his hips back down against the mattress.

Once you felt your throat relax a bit around him you breathed in through your nose and started bobbing your head up and down, looking up towards him through your lashes. The sight was heavenly, Javi's eyes squeezed shut, his chest heaving as he panted and moaned, his hand gripping your hair while the other squeezed your hand, muttering under his breath.

With each pull up you pressed your tongue to the vein on the underside of his cock. When you got to his tip you'd stop there, focus on sucking there while your hand focused on the rest of his shaft, your tongue circled and pressed under the edge. Javi groaned loudly and gripped your hair a little tighter. "Maldita sea. Echaba de menos esa boca. Me arrastraría por el infierno sobre mis manos y rodillas si pudiera sentir esa boca para siempre." God damn. I missed that mouth. I'd crawl through hell on my hands and knees if I could feel that mouth forever. He dropped his chin to look down at you, pupils blown and eyes glossy.

He looked so pretty, sweat beading on his forehead and temples. You wondered briefly if you should've turned the air up a little, but ignored the thought and went back to bobbing your head, sucking harder whenever you got to his tip, your hand following your mouth's path.

It wasn't long before Javi's breathing got harsher, his moans became weak grunts and whimpers, and he was spilling into your mouth, his hips jerking up as his hand tugged on your hair and the other squeezed your hand. You were quick to swallow as much of it as you could, some of it spilling from your mouth and out the corners.

Javi looked down at you, panting heavily and shaking his head before he pulled you off of his cock with a soft pop. "C'mere." He mumbled, humming softly before sticking his tongue out and licking his cum from the corners of your mouth before kissing you deeply.

You moaned and kissed him back eagerly, grabbing onto his shoulders lightly as he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you close to him. "So beautiful, baby. So good at that, too. Fuck." He said softly, peppering you in little kisses as he laid the two of you back.

"You'll stay, right?" You looked up at him and he smiled softly. "Of course I will." He said softly. "We'll relax a little, calm down, and then we'll go take a shower, get some water, and then we can come back to bed, and get some rest."

You smiled and nodded happily, leaning in to kiss him again before laying your head in the crook of his neck. You laid there for about ten minutes before you showered, got some water, made sure to use the bathroom.

And then you were curled up with Javier again, curled up into his side as you nuzzled his neck, sighing happily. His hands were tracing your back like he'd done so long ago. Except, this time, Javi wasn't hesitant, didnt let minutes pass before he pulled you closer, his fingertips made full contact with your skin. His other arm was wrapped tightly around your waist, his lips pressing kisses to the top of your head.

You fell asleep pretty quickly, Javi's heart beat in his chest, his warm body pressed tightly against yours lulling you off faster than you would've liked.

You hoped Javi meant what he said earlier, about staying and being a better man for his family, you wanted him around, wanted to see him care for your daughter, kiss her booboos and soothe her after a nightmare. You wanted him to be there for every birthday, every christmas, every thanksgiving. You wanted Javi at every holiday and function you'd ever have to go to. You just hoped he wanted the same thing.

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Taglist:

@wonwoosthetic @stonerlaur4 @picketniffler

[integra1127grimmreaper]

Baker Wonderland (Javi Gutierrez)

Javi Gutierrez Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Warning: fluff, smut, social bulling, body shaming (by self & others), swearing

Summary: You try to enjoy yourself while accompanying your husband on work, but the celebrity life has other plans for you.

A/N: Y/N- your name. Y/H- your social media handle. Plus size reader Don't know shit about speaking or writing Spanish, therefore I've only used words of endearment that I Googled. Apologies in advance if used incorrectly.

If anyone had told you three years ago that by some divine miracle, you would be living an almost fairytale life; married to one of the most sought-after script writers/producers, the Javi Gutierrez, you would have called them insane.

Here you were though; married to that very man, living your dream in real life with your celebrity crush, while owning your own chain of bakeries.

The dream life you've always wanted. Downside of it was though; no one besides close friends and family knew you were married, (something that both of you had agreed to keep on the downlow for now.)

There had been rumors floating about of the nature of the relationship between you two for the past year and a half that emerged with each new picture of Javi and you out in public. Some amused you to be very close friends, others guessed you were most probably dating.

It wasn't the celebrity status of Javi's that made you hide the relationship for so long. Truth was you, yourself were a bit of a celebrity too, just in the confectionery business side though. Having successfully opened and not soon thereafter expanding your cinematic themed bakeries, even going as far as doing special events for the high elites. Therefore, being in the limelight wasn't something foreign for you, it was just that Javi and you wanted to keep your relationship private for as long as possible. Wanting to enjoy the first months as a married couple just for yourselves.

That peace will be over quite soon though.

"You ready, Cariño? Javi enquires entering the bedroom.

"Mmhmm" you nod smiling at the clear look of excitement on his face.

"Great!" Javi comments, grabbing his wallet and reaching out his hand for you to take.

"I'm only needed on set by 10, so we have roughly two hours to enjoy ourselves before heading there."

"Great" you smile, pressing a kiss to his lips, wrapping your arms around his neck. You had explored the town a bit last week while Javi was off on set but had honestly wanted to do with him.

"What fun adventures do you have in mind?"

"I was thinking, we could go into town for breakfast and do some sightseeing thereafter" Javi suggests.

"Sound like a great plan" you nod, giving him one last kiss before detangling your arms from his neck.

"This is quite nice, no?" Javi remarks, watching the small traffic of the town through the café window you were having breakfast at.

"It's a beautiful place..." you nod in agreement, smiling at the scene of a small family with a toddler girl walking by. You turn back toward Javi then, a bit teary eyed but still smiling.

"I'm glad I agreed to come with."

"As if I would have left you home alone!" Javi scoffs teasingly. Grabbing hold of your hand, gently pressing a kiss to it.

"I want you close to me at all times, mi amor. Especially now..."

"You act as if I'm fragile glass..." you chuckle in response.

"I just want to make sure that your both well taken care of and safe" Javi states in a serious manner.

"You've done a great job with doing so, My Love..." you grip his hand in reassurance.

"Besides, with the first trimester almost over, the morning sickness it almost non-existent."

"I've notice that your appetite has returned in tenfold, yes..." Javi chuckled, staring at your large breakfast spread on the table.

"Don't judge" you point a finger in warning at him.

"I'm growing your unborn offspring inside me."

"I'm not, I'm not..." Javi chuckles out, raising his hands in surrender.

"I'm just glad that you're able to enjoy food again."

You teasingly stick your tongue out Javi, causing him to chuckle and turn your attention back to your food.

"Javi, they're ready on set whenever you are..." his assistant greets as the two of you exited the car.

"Oh-my-gosh!" she gasps out in delight when seeing you.

"I'm so glad you're finally joining us!" Lisa pulls you in for a hug, stepping back a bit to look you over.

"You must have been so bored being cooped up in that villa all by yourself? Not that I'm complaining though, the treats you've sent with Javi each day has been a huge hit amongst the crew."

"Glad you guys enjoyed them..." you chuckle at her.

"Although, I didn't bring any with today. Javi and I decided to do a bit of sightseeing this morning. With the morning sickness having settled down, I could finally leave the house for longer than twenty minutes."

"It's fine..." Lisa shrugs with a hand wave, her face lighting up then.

"How's baby G doing?"

"Much better now that they aren't making their Mama sick anymore" Javi remarks, placing a loving over your stomach.

"That's good to hear!" Lisa squeals out in delight at you.

"Means, we'll see more of you around then."

"Definitely" you chuckle at her.

"And I'll make sure to bring some treats with tomorrow."

"You're the best!" Lisa squeals yet again, finally leaving to see to some work.

"Come, Querida..." Javi chuckles, placing an arm around your waist to lead the way to the set.

After a few hours of watching Javi work, you began to feel a bit sleepy.

"Feeling tired, Querida?" Javi turns his attention to you.

"A bit" you faintly smile at his concern.

Gently brushing some hair behind your ear, Javi presses a kiss to your forehead.

"We'll be taking a lunch break in the next ten minutes, then we can go to the trailer, and you can rest a bit. Ok?"

"Ok" you smirk at him.

Then ten minutes was finally over when Javi came to collect you.

"It's time to feed Mama and the little one..." Javi remarks, making it impossible for you not to smile at the way he lights up when referring to your pregnancy.

"Lead the way, Papi..." you giggle when he lets out a soft groan at your remarks.

"You know what calling me that does to me..." Javi pulls you flushed up against with a growl.

"Behave Papi..." you giggle out.

"We're in public."

"You're going to be the death of me, woman..." he groans in response, quickly leading you toward his trailer.

"I took the liberty of ordering lunch ahead so that you wouldn't have to wait for it to be delivered" Javi states as you enter the trailer.

"Javi..." you beam at him in wonder.

"You're too good to me. Not sure what I did to deserve a man as good as you."

Javi grins at you, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist.

"I'm you're reward for being such a magnificent baker... it's your confectionary goods that won me over in the first places."

"So, you only love me for my baking skills then?" you scoff at his remarks.

"Of course, not..." Javi chuckles, pressing a kiss to your forehead as he stared adoringly into your eyes.

"Though, it's your baking skills that's the reason for us having met in the first place."

You smile up at him at the memory of the first day you both met.

"The first day you walked into the bakery?"

"One of the best days in my life..." Javi smiles lovingly down at you.

"Not only did I get the best Nicholes Cage themed cookies, but I also met the most beautiful woman ever."

"Please..." you teasingly roll your eyes at him.

"Beautiful? I was a total mess from being in the kitchen, baking the entire morning..."

Javi chuckles, cupping your face and running his thumb back and forth across your cheek.

"You had a streak of flour on the right cheek, and it was the cutest thing ever..."

You were about to responds to his remark when suddenly, your stomach growled out loudly.

"I think our unborn offspring is hungry" you burst out laughing and Javi joins in.

Turning you around, Javi leads you toward the food.

"Come Mami... it's time to feed the little one."

"God, I love you..." you moan in appreciation at the baked treats Javi had ordered for dessert.

"I know how much you've been craving sweet treats of lately" Javi remarks smiling as you instantly began devouring them.

"If I wasn't already fat, then these would definitely cause me to be..." you comment in-between bites.

"You're not fat" Javi scowls at you demeaning yourself.

"You're voluptuous, curvaceous... and so fucking sexy."

"Sexy...?" you roll your eyes at him.

"It's true..." he responds, tipping down to press a kiss into the side of your neck.

"The sexiest woman I've ever seen, more so now that she's carrying my child..."

Smiling at his remark, you lift his face to look at you.

"Javi..."

"Yes, Querida...?" he stares in full admiration at you.

"I think I might be craving another type of dessert now..." you confess, biting into your lower lip.

Javi flashes you a devilish grin then.

"Then I best feed this new craving, shouldn't I...?"

"Yes, you should..." you teasingly nod in response, turning your entire body toward him for a kiss.

One of Javi's hands fists into your hair tightly as he captures your lips with his own.

"Lay down for me, Baby..."

With an eager smirk, you laid down to make yourself comfortable on the couch; your breath rapidly quickening when his hands slid up your dress to grip your panties seams.

"Let's get these out the way, Hermosa..."

You lift your hips to allow to him to slip them off, letting out a soft moan when his hands slide back up to squeeze at your fleshy thighs.

Javi carefully leans his body over yours; making sure not to rest his full weight onto you as he nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck.

"Fuck, you always smell so good..." Javi utters out, gently nipping at your neck whist pressing open-mouthed kiss against it.

"Javi..." you groan out in frustration at him continuously ghosting his fingertips across your folds to work you up.

"You know it's not wise to tease your pregnant wife."

"I would never be so cruel, mi amor..." Javi states, causing a gasp to spill from your lips as he sank a finger deep into you.

"Fuck-you're-soaked..." Javi groans out, adding a second finger inside you.

"Jesus, your fingers are huge" you whimper as he worked them in and out you.

"Feeling sensitive today?" Javi whispers against your neck and you hum in answer.

"Could we just skip the foreplay? I badly need in you inside me right now."

Silently nodding, Javi gently extracts his finger from you; pupils blown wide with lust as he licks your arousal from his wet fingers.

"How do you want it, Cariño?"

You couldn't contain the love filled smile that crossed your face as you cupped his face in the palm of your hands. (Even though you had remined him multiple times that your belly was mostly natural fat at the moment than an actual baby bump, Javi's concerns of accidentally hurting the baby with his weight on top of you never seems to cease.)

"I want to enjoy the feeling of you on top me while we still can."

With a silent nod, Javi makes quick work of opening his pants to free the erection that had been painfully restrained by the materiel.

"Look like someone's just as in need of some attention..." you remark, reaching out to tug on his cock.

"You're killing me, Querida..." Javi throws his head back with a heavy groan.

"Feeling sensitive...?" you mimic his words of earlier with a smirk, causing him to glare down at you in warning.

"Baby..."

"Fine, I'll stop teasing..." you giggle, pulling him down onto you for a kiss.

"Fuck..." you moan out against Javi's lips at feeling the tip of his cock sliding through your folds.

"Not so fun being teased now is it...?" Javi smirks, notching the tip at your entrance.

You flash him a glare but before you could voice a retort; a sharp gasp spills from your lips instead when he snaps his hips forward to burying himself inside you completely.

"Jesus... I forgot how huge you are..." you whimper out, causing Javi to bury his face into the crook of your neck with a groan.

"Fuck baby... you're so fuckin' tight... How the hell are you going to push a baby out...?"

"Well, it's your job to make sure I'm well prepared by then..." you giggle, causing your walls to clamp down on him by the motion.

"Shit-" Javi hiss out.

"Don't do that or this is going to be over far quicker than we want."

"Sorry..." you softly snort, another a tiny giggle slipping out again.

Lifting his head from your neck; Javi scowls down at you, bucking his hips hard into you in retaliation.

"That shut you up quick enough, didn't it...?" he smugly remarks at your sharp intake of breath.

"Shut up and fuck me, Gutierrez...!" you manage to growl out, grabbing him by his shirt collar down to kiss you.

"Yes Ma'am..." Javi utters out in amusement against your lips as he finally begins to move in earnest.

You woke up fully refreshed after a nap; (being pregnant seemed to tire you out more than usual these days, especially after a round of sex with your husband.)

It was late afternoon by now, which meant that Javi would soon be wrapping up for the day. Not wanting to disturb him while working, you decide to browse through social media after noticing multiple notifications tagged to your account.

"Javi Gutierrez spotted in Lindos, Greece!" was the caption of the first post you saw, along with a picture secretly taken of Javi and you at the café you were at earlier.

"Is that Y/H the baker?!" someone commented on it.

"Yeah, it's her... but they're friends so it's nothing unusual to see them together" another replied.

"True... but why is she with him...? I mean, he's out there working..." another comments, causing you to physically cringe. (The vultures were circling...)

You couldn't help the smile that crossed your face when reading the next comment.

"Maybe she's just there on vacation? Or... maybe they're dating, lol. They do make a cute couple."

Your mood instantly sours by the new ones that follows though.

"God, I hope not! He's way out of her league... have you seen how she looks? Probably eats most of the bakery's profits, lamo."

"Ikr...? He deserves either a model or hot actress."

Not able to stomach reading the rest, you disable the notifications and logout completely.

"You ready to leave, Cariño?" Javi announces his return.

With a strained smile, you just silently nod in response.

Noticing something was off, Javi reaches out to stroke your cheek.

"You ok?"

"I'm fine" you plaster on a brighter smile to convince him.

Javi squints at you suspiciously, gently running the pad of his thumb across your bottom lip.

"You sure...?"

"Mmhmm..." you nod, continuing to smile at him.

Still not convinced, yet not wanting to upset you; Javi presses a quick kiss to your forehead.

"Ok, let's go then."

You were curled up on the couch in the bedroom when a flustered Javi came storming in with his phone gripped tightly in hand.

"Why didn't you tell me about this?"

You squint at him in confusion.

"Huh?"

"Really? You're going to act like you haven't seen it?" Javi scowls at your attempt of ignorance.

"The picture..." you finally sigh in defeat.

"Yes, the picture" Javi remarks, placing his hands on his hips in displeasure.

Shutting your eyes to stifle a giggle, you eventually lose the battle when a loud chuckle bursts from your lips.

"Why are you laughing? This is serious" Javi scolds you.

"Sorry... sorry..." you giggle, waving your hand in the air.

"It's just... you've already perfected 'the displeased dad" stance..."

The scowl on Javi's face slowly turns into a little smirk the longer you're laughing. Moving forward to take a seat next you, he takes hold of your hand then.

"Jokes aside. Is this the reason why you were acting differently earlier?"

"Have you read the comments?" you enquire.

"Yes, some of them were quite supportive... some were totally assholes though" Javi replies, clearly upset at the negative ones.

"It's fine. I know I'm not the ideal life partner for you" you remark in attempt to calm him.

Javi lets out a loud sound of disgust.

"Seriously...? You are the perfect life partner for me! I couldn't have asked for anyone better, you're perfect... and I love you very much."

"Fine, you've convinced me enough..." you snort in amusement.

"Can we drop the subject?"

"Sure, Querida" Javi faintly smiles, placing a hand on your stomach then.

"Bullshit aside. How are you feeling?"

"I'm ok... we're both ok" you assure him.

"Sure...?" Javi stares at you with raised brows.

"Positive" you nod with a smile.

"Good" Javi smiles, presses a kiss to your forehead and pulling you into his lap then.

"What do you say, we forget about those assholes and continue enjoying our stay here?"

"Deal..." you broadly smile, nodding in agreement. 

Part 2

tag: @thegreenkid2

[encasedinobsidian]

hey there, i found seeking what is desirable on ao3 last night. i'm forcing myself to not devour it in one go (which is excrutiating) but i'm a couple chapters in and oh man i wanted to say i'm already in love with this world you've created and these characters, i know it's going to make my heart explode :) i think i was already following you on here or had come across your work through a one shot, but this. fucking. series. AHHHHh. ok going to do some writing ask game stuff cause i'm curious now... 2 (lowkey wondering if it is the one i'm reading), 11, 17, 23 and 30. lots of love to you x

this is from the fanfic author tag game - feel free to send me numbers/questions and i will answer :) 

Hiiii! Thank you so much! Seeking is such a mammoth, but I'm glad you enjoy it <3 You'll have to come back and tell me what you think when you've finished it heheheh

2. Which of your fics is your pride and joy? You're almost correct! My pride and joy is actually the Seeking spinoff called Finally Dawn, which is all about Jeremiah. It's the first original fic I ever wrote, and nothing I've written before or after has felt nearly as dear to me as him/that story.

11: What makes a fic 'successful' in your opinion? When I feel like I've properly set the scene, presented three-dimensional characters, and executed a plot that's interesting without feeling chaotic :) 17: What is something you recently felt proud of in your writing? I'm pretty hard on myself as a writer so I don't even know how to answer this one lmfao.... I guess I do feel proud of going from being scared shitless of writing Javi to feeling confident writing him in different scenarios, and feeling like it's true to his character.

23: What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet? A bizarre crossover between gay Javi P and White Lotus, as well as a (straight lmao) Javi P + Succession crossover fic

30: Have you noticed your style change over time? YES - my style changes every 6 months or so, and I think this is just the inevitable outcome of being a new, but industrious writer, haha. A lot of things influence me, and I haven't written long enough to where I can say I have a specific style - though I think certain themes and aspects have stayed constant.

[theclairvoyage]

Chapter 3: Flor de Caña

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Pairing: Javier Peña x AUSA!f!reader

Fresh off acing his marksmanship test, Javi returns to The Dark Horseman, where he gets to know an alluring attorney.

Chapter warnings: alcohol consumption, smoking, firearm use, adult language, mentions of violence, mentions of human trafficking, mentions of drugs, mentions of graphic violence, mentions of substance abuse and death, allusions to smut, crime scene investigation, murder, reader is able-bodied, has long hair and is roughly the same height as Javi, Spanish usage (translations at the end)

WC: 4k

Fall 1992

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Javier shoves his Glock 19 in his waistband, sweat droplets rolling from his forehead and audibly landing on the cold cement floor of the outdoor shooting range at the Federal Building.  Penn stands behind him, stopwatch looped around his wrist, clipboard clutched to his chest, occasionally pulling it in front of him to jot down scores.

“Alright, Peña—last stage,” he barks, “2 shots standing and 3 kneeling, all behind cover and all from 25 yards.  You’ll do that twice.  Questions?”

Javi spits as he shakes his head, some stray dirt, bugs, and sweat having accumulated in his mouth during the first 7 stages.  He wipes his brow one last time, loads the Glock, and gets ready for Penn to give him the go-ahead.

“And… go!” Penn yells.  Javi goes into action mode, standing behind the wall prop and peeking out to shoot the target.  Bang.  Bang.

He drops to his knee and aims, firing three more times.  Bang.  Bang.  Bang.  Rinse and repeat.

He stands, signaling that he’s done.  Penn clicks the stopwatch and tallies Javier’s score on the clipboard.  He whistles.

“Congrats, Peña—you passed, and with an instructor certification score of 56/60.  You’ll be able to teach this stuff once you’re fully certified as a special agent,” Penn says, clapping Javi on the back.  Javi snorts.

“Thanks, Penn.  Shooting in the jungle makes everything else seem so easy,” he murmurs.  Penn guffaws.

“Now we can finally set up this stakeout in Lawton,” he says, cheesy grin plastered on his wrinkled face.  Javier is elated—he had been looking forward to being out in the field again and partaking in the action.  Stakeouts were his bread and butter—he spent countless hours posted up in an unmarked vehicle or building surveilling and directing moves in Colombia.  It felt good to finally be able to put his skills to use.

“What’s the preliminary plan?  And site?” Javier asks, unloading the chamber of his warm gun.

“There’s an International Festival next week that spans 3 days.  It’ll be packed.  People from all over Oklahoma and the country attend.  Our surveillance team has gotten confirmation that the Locos will be there, most likely looking for falcons and setting up transactions,” Penn says.  Javier nods.

“So, are we planning on posing as employees?  Police?” Javi guesses as Penn leads them back into the building.

“Specifics are still in the works, though I like your thinking.  We’ll work with OKCPD and LPD to figure out the best plan,” Penn says, impressed.  Javi fights the urge to roll his eyes—he might’ve been an FBI rookie, but he’d had years of experience as a federal agent under his belt.  He decides to give Penn the benefit of the doubt—the man is corny, but he’s at least giving feedback.

“US Attorney’s Office gonna be assisting?” Javi asks nonchalantly, already knowing Penn will have something curt to say.  Sure enough, Penn winks at Javi.

“Miss her already, eh?” Javi rolls his eyes so hard it hurts.  Penn chuckles.  “Just givin’ ya shit.  Yes, the Assistant US Attorney will be helping.  Might even be part of the surveillance team.”

Javi’s eyes widen.  “S’not a good idea for her to be in plainclothes.  People probably know who she is and that might set off some alarms,” he reminds Penn.

“You are correct,” Penn agrees, “But she doesn’t usually go out in plainclothes.  She’ll be watching and listening elsewhere.”

Quietly, Javi breathes a sigh of relief.  He’s already protective of you—something new for him.  Penn, like clockwork, interrupts his thoughts.

“Peña—you’ve got one test left before you’ll be a fully certified Special Agent.  Your Supervisory Special Agent training will take place after that,” he beams, clapping a hand on Javi’s shoulder.  Javi shakes his head, smirking.

“I’ve had some practice, Penn—should’ve been certified sooner,” he bemoans.  He’s always been tough on himself, reflective of how he was raised.  Penn scoffs.

“You’re doing great.  We really are lucky to have you—the DEA screwed up real bad,” he chuckles.  Javi snorts.

“Take the rest of the day—we’ll figure out a plan with the Assistant Director, US Attorney’s Office, and the PD Teams soon.  Nice work.”  Javi gives Penn a single nod before leaving for the day.

Javi awakens in the hours post dinnertime that evening.

“Fuck,” he groans.  He doesn’t nap for this reason.  He glances at his watch, digging into his wrist from his slumber.  It’s not too late, but late enough for a drink.

He’d lied down when he got back from work, exhausted from the marksmanship test, and relished the comfort of his new sectional.  His apartment was finally starting to resemble a residence, and not a bachelor pad.  Unfortunately for him, though, the couch might’ve been a little too comfortable.  It was a stark contrast from his stone slab of a mattress.

Throwing on some jeans and a loose button-up linen shirt, he makes the trek to the Horseman.  The creaky door opens the same way it always does, and the jukebox is playing the same slow song, but there’s something different—you.

You’re perched in the same chair you were last time he saw you here, though you’re wearing shorts and a baggy tee.  He glances at your long, smooth legs and swallows hard—he’s starting to think that perhaps every part of you is perfect.  You turn and watch him saunter over to the bar, smirking.  Javi can’t help the smirk that follows on his own face.

He pulls back the chair next to you and gestures.  “Is this seat taken?” he says, voice still raspy from his nap.  You notice, cocking an eyebrow at him, smirk still contouring your cheeks.

“It is now,” you reply smoothly.  Javi’s stomach does some somersaults as he pulls up next to you, realizing this is the first time you two have been in such proximity.  He takes a deep breath as the bartender pours him his usual, taking your scent with him.  He fights the urge to groan.

“You look tired,” you say, eyeing him as he takes the first sip of his whiskey.  His hair is slightly mussed, button up shirt undone at the top, revealing a strong, tanned chest.  His sleeves are short, too, showing off ropy forearms.  Your thighs contract instinctively.

“Made the mistake of taking a nap,” he replies, smoothing a hand through his hair.  It’s like he heard your thoughts.

“Another rookie mistake,” you quip, bringing your glass to your lips.  He bursts out laughing, uncovering a brilliant smile that you had failed to notice.

“You’re funny, Lawyer Lady,” he says, staring at you as you take a sip.  His gaze spans your face, making frequent stops at your lips and eyes.  He’s not even trying to hide his attraction, now.  You giggle and shake your head, not meeting his eyes—you can feel them pierce your skin.

“Seems like you got it all.  Brains, looks, charm.  Must be nice,” he says, nudging your side lightly with his elbow.

“I should charge just for my presence, yeah?” you joke, pulling another belly laugh from him.

“Well, if law doesn’t work out, you have a few options,” he replies.  It’s his turn to take a sip now, and you watch as his lips groove over the rim of the glass, mustache hairs swaying from the air escaping his nostrils as he tips back.  That fucking mustache did things to you, made you squirm inside.  You wanted to feel it scratch the skin on your lips, your—

“Why do I feel like you’re hitting on me, Javi?” you croon, a lame attempt to silence your dirty thoughts.  He stiffens, nerves alight—usually, he’s on point with the charm when it comes to women.  You, though?  Different ballgame.  You sniffed him out from the jump.  He figures up a witty remark before the awkward silence settles.

“What, no one’s ever told you that you’re smart and beautiful?  I’m the first?” You’re caught off guard by his humor, and another loud laugh escapes your lips.  You roll your eyes and shake your head.

“You’re not too bad yourself, Peña,” you say, finishing your drink with a quick swig.  He shivers at your compliment.  The bartender comes over and raises his brows at you, silently asking if you’d like another.

“Yeah, I’m good for more.  Late start tomorrow,” you say, shrugging your shoulders.

Pulse thrumming, Javi leans back in the chair as he thinks of something to say.  He wants to know you but doesn’t want to push too fast.

“You live close to here?  Or you just took to this particular hole in the wall?” Javi asks, spinning the chair to face you.  You watch the bartender pour you another glass before doing the same, crossing one leg over the other and leaning back.  He tries not to glance down at your legs.

“Both,” you reply, taking a sip.  Javi nods.  His gaze is hot on your face.  He’s entranced by your eyes, but damn, his are just as magnetizing.  He realizes he still doesn’t know the mysterious brown liquid you’re drinking.

“Whiskey drinker?  You are from the Midwest,” he asks, reaching for a toothpick from the bar station.  He maneuvers it around his mouth, tip rustling the bristles of his mustache, drawing your eyes there.  He turns to look at you again, and you tear your gaze from his lips.

“Hell no.  Rum.  My dad was the whiskey drinker.  Couldn’t put that bottle down,” you say, voice dropping in volume slightly.  Javier assumes he’s dead, by your change in tone and expression.

“Sorry to hear that.  My dad loved the bottle, too,” he says, tilting his head at you involuntarily.  You lock eyes with him for a moment, and he sees pain.  Pain that you’ve gotten adept at stuffing behind the many boxes within your brain.  Your lips pull into a smile, but your eyes don’t change.

“It’s a hard thing to quit,” you say, nodding slowly and looking away from Javi.  He can tell this is a sore spot for you—your demeanor has morphed from playful to solemn, though you still seem happy.  Instinctively, he reaches out and touches your forearm, sending shocks up to your shoulder.

“I know exactly what you mean, hermosa,” he says, not fighting the compulsion this time.  You are beautiful, after all.  He removes his hand after a beat, the warmth from his fingertips lingering on your skin.  You crack a big smile, and your eyes finally match.

“Anyway.  I see you discovered that I’m not married,” you say, lips twitching into a smirk.  Redness blooms on his neck and ears as he recalls looking at your left hand in the conference room the other day.

“Sorry—instinct,” he says, half-truthfully.

“Yeah?  Been with a lot of married women?” you poke.  He loves how playful you are, sparring with him like one of the boys.  There’s a childlike curiosity to you that fascinates him.  He chuckles, turning away to take a sip.

“I won’t lie to you, I have,” he says matter-of-factly.  “Not my finest moment.”  Now, it’s your turn to put a hand on his forearm.  He freezes at your touch.

“It’s okay—I was partly joking.  Not judging you,” you say.  He turns to look at you, deep amber eyes smoldering.  It catches you off guard and scares you—he could make you do anything if he looks at you like that.  Your heart threatens to escape your ribcage.  You swallow, tucking the nerves away, and speak again.

“I did some reading up on you, Javi.  You’re highly regarded in the DEA world,” you say, removing your hand from his arm and propping your head on your hand as you study him.  He shrugs, lips moving to one side of his face.

“It was a hard gig, chasing Escobar.  I’m glad I’m here, though,” he says, staring in your eyes.  It’s quiet for a moment, except the sparks flying between the two of you, hot and molten.

“Me, too.  We’re lucky to have you,” you say, finally breaking eye contact to take another sip.  His eyes travel down to your crossed legs, to your worn sandals, back up to your face.  He can’t get over how gorgeous you are—and he’s never had to hold back with a woman like this.  Taking a deep breath and another sip of whiskey, he studies at the bottles behind the bar momentarily.

“So—you drinking Captain?” he asks, head bobbing as he searches for all the rum bottles on display.

“I honestly don’t know—I think tonight is Flor de Caña,” you say in perfect Spanish.  Javi’s not surprised but impressed.

“¿Hablas español, hermosa?” Javi tests you, eyes crinkling from the big smile he’s sporting.

“Sí, empecé a aprender cuando era joven,” you reply, not missing a beat.  He shakes his head as he turns away, still grinning.

He was fucked.

“You try a new one every night, then?” he asks.  You nod.

“Yeah, if I can.  Makes things interesting,” you reply, swishing the brown liquid around the glass as you try to count off how many bottles you’ve tried behind the bar.  You’re not sure—this quiet tavern does a surprisingly good job of rotating liquors at a decent pace.

Feeling a whiskey-powered surge of bravado, Javi takes a risk and asks a personal question.

“So, Lawyer Lady—you ever been married before?” he asks, turning to watch your reaction.  You mirror him and cock an eyebrow, pursing your lips in amusement.

“Nope.  What about you?  I’m sure women fall over for you,” you ask, matching his courage.  Your brand of it is sexier, though, he thinks.  He snorts, a lame attempt to disguise his giddiness from yet another compliment from you.

“No, hermosa—never had the time nor the desire,” he replies.  You nod slowly, breaking eye contact and staring down at your glass.  He can’t tell if you’re surprised, bummed, or just thinking.

“Me neither.  Odds of anything lasting are too low for my liking,” you say, finishing your glass.  He chuckles.

“So, you’re a math nerd, too?” Javi teases, poking your ribs again with his elbow.  You shake your head and laugh, some loose hair falling from your shoulders to your arm.  Instinctively, Javi pulls them from your skin, the feeling of you electrifying his fingertips.  His touch burns your skin.  Your breath hitches ever so slightly, but he notices.

“Sorry, it’s j—,” he starts, before you cut him off.

“Instinct?  I figured.  It’s okay,” you tease him, punctuating the word playfully.  His fingertips rest on your forearm as he stares at you, still blazing, his gaze sweeping down to your lips.  The rum has you feeling quite brave, too, and you test the waters with a question of your own.

“And what’s behind the way you keep staring at my lips?  Instinct, too?”

Javi’s heart bangs against his chest, eyes widening briefly in surprise before he feels the blood in his limbs rush to a different appendage.  Fuck it, he thinks.  He feels good about this.

“That, or I just really wanna kiss you.” His eyebrow cocks as he half-smirks at you, leaning closer to you ever so slightly.  At this point, he’d normally be balls deep in whatever poor lass approached him at the bar, clothes piled on the floor and tongues tangled, but he wants to savor this—it’s almost foreplay, the way you two tease and tango.  He struggles to keep his erection tame in his jeans.

You giggle quietly, almost mischievously, fantasizing of you perched on your kitchen countertop, legs wrapped around Javi as he fucks you slow and hard.  You can almost hear his pants and groans in your ear, breath caressing your skin as his lips and teeth mark your neck.  You shiver.

“What’s funny, hermosa?” He asks, tantalized, similar images projecting in his head.  He needs to leave soon, before he busts out of these jeans.

“Oh, nothing at all—truly,” you say with a sly smile, taking some cash out of your purse and dropping it next to your empty glass.  You stand from the chair and stretch absentmindedly, the hem of your shirt lifting to reveal the bottom half of your navel and smooth hipbones loosely draped in denim.  Javi’s eyes immediately lock on, and he takes a deep breath, trying to stifle the growl in his chest.  He takes another sip, aggressively.

“¿De qué piensas?” he asks, still watching as your arms come back down, shirt hem slowly covering your exposed skin.  You groan as you finish releasing the tension in your back and shoulders.  Fuck, he does like every sound you make.

“About how not ready I am for this recon mission coming up,” you lie, folding those pornographic images and other feelings about Javi you’re not ready to acknowledge in the pit of your mind.

“Piece of cake.  Trust me.  Can I walk you out?” he says, fishing bills out of his wallet and standing to join you.  He despises the thought of you walking alone in the dark, even if you’re well-acquainted with the area.  You nod, smiling softly at him.

You wave at the bartender and head for the exit as Javi follows, his warm hand finding home on the small of your back as he guides and opens the door for you.  You feel safe around him, which simultaneously alarms and arouses you.

The outside air greets you, quiet gusts nipping at your skin.  You instinctively wrap your hands around your arms and rub the goosebump-ridden flesh.  Javi curls his hand around your waist and pulls you closer, hoping to share some of the warmth from his body with you.  You relax into him as you walk toward the parking lot.

An eternity seems to pass as both of you trek toward your car, quiet steps in perfect synchrony.  The streetlights paint both of you in a flickering melon-amber glow.  You feel almost ethereal in his grasp, and he, too, as he holds you so closely to him.  His grip on your waist is soft, but his arm is firm around your back, a silent promise of protection.  This is not how either of you expected your day to culminate, but it’s a welcome surprise.  Oddly enough, it doesn’t feel foreign.

Your unique scent invades his nostrils, fucking with his head—he’s so giddy and nervous from being around you, but touching and smelling you makes his dick grow harder and harder as you get closer to your car.

“This is me,” you say, nodding toward a beat-up sedan.  Javi whistles.

“This is what they got you driving?  C’mon, LL—you need something fancier,” he jokes, lightly squeezing your waist.  Rolling your eyes, you laugh and pull your keys out of your purse, facing away from him.

“It’s inconspicuous—it’s not my car, either,” you say, winking playfully at Javi.  He swallows hard.  You turn to look at him and study his face.

The earth stills for a moment as both of you ponder how to say goodbye.  Javi wasn’t kidding earlier about wanting to kiss you, needing to feel your plush lips and your body pressed against his.  You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want the same.  All you’d need to do is lean in a bit and close your eyes.  Javi’s gaze draws a triangle from your eyes to your lips, fingertips lightly digging into your side.

A loud gale interrupts your thoughts, your hair flying into your vision.  Javi, acting on instinct once again, reaches to smooth the strands from your face.  You blink at him.  His hand hooks under your jaw, thumb swiping the soft skin of your face.  Your legs tremble ever so slightly.

“I’ll see you around, hermosa,” he breathes, leaning in.  You close your eyes and expect his lips to meet yours, but they don’t—they brush your cheek in a soft, soft kiss.  It’s delicate, sweet—and irritating.  You wanted more.

“Bye, Javi,” you murmur, surprisingly frustrated.  You turn away and try to leave his grasp, but he holds you firm at the waist.

“Hey,” he says, urging your attention, “You okay?”

You blink a couple times as you stare back at him, heat pooling in your cheeks.  He sees the frustration on your face.  You’d somewhat melted in his touch and peeled back some layers, showing him more emotion than you’d preferred—now, it’s made you feel like an idiot.

“Yes, of course… why wouldn’t I be?” you breathe, realizing now that you’re panting.  Javi is, too—holding back like this is a skill he’s not practiced often.  He still has a hand on your cheek, the other on your waist.  Puppy dog eyes stare back at you, hypnotizing you into tranquility.

“I normally don’t… don’t do this kinda stuff,” Javi says, looking down at the ground briefly.

“Do what?  Meet up with somewhat strangers at weird taverns and discuss alcoholic fathers?” you quip, grinning.  There, you are.  Javi chuckles.

“Only beautiful ones,” he adds, expression softening. Your smile fades and cheeks burn at his compliment.

“Something tells me that you’re good at getting people to do what you want,” you admit, mesmerized by his gaze.

“Yeah?  Are you included in that?” he asks quietly, pensive brown eyes glued to yours.  He’s not looking at your lips, now—he wants to see you.  You laugh breathily and shrug.

“You’ll have to present solid evidence to convince me to do anything,” you tease.  He chuckles again.

“So… can I convince you to go out into the field with me in Lawton?” he postulates, raising an eyebrow at you.  Your eyes widen in disbelief.

“Absolutely not—no matter how good you are,” you say, chuckling incredulously.

Suddenly, Javi pulls you into a warm embrace, arms looped under yours and barred across your back.  You sigh heavily, wrap your arms around his broad shoulders, and sink into him once again, now taking in his scent.  Cedarwood, musk, aftershave, whiskey, and faint cigarette smoke—complex, yet telling.  A man in pain, struggling to find purpose.  Your heart sinks at the thought of him drinking his own life away.  Javi pulls away slightly after a beat and you feel his breath—and smirk—on your earlobe.

“You have no idea how good I am, hermosa,” he whispers.  You freeze momentarily and stifle a whimper at the thought of what his mouth and that mustache can do.  You unwrap from each other, and he holds your hand for a moment before kissing the back of it softly.

“Bye, Rookie,” you breathe, smiling.  A similar one cracks on his face.

“Adios, hermosa.”  You watch him turn and walk the opposite direction, hand pulling a pack of cigarettes from his pocket.

"Hey!" you call.  He turns to face you, now walking backwards toward his apartment.  He cocks his head at you and grins as he takes a drag.

“Stuff’s gonna kill you,” you scold him playfully.  He shakes his head, smiling as he pulls the cigarette from his lips and exhales a trail of smoke from the side of his mouth.

"S'not the only thing."

Javi walks home with a pep in his step.

Your scent lingers on his shirt, in his nostrils.  Sweet, spicy, alluring.

Pictures of your face plaster the walls of his mind.  Your beautiful eyes, your wit.  Your boisterous laugh.

He wants to hear all your sounds, to see all your emotions spilling out of those captivating eyes.  He wants to feel your breath quicken as he brings you to ecstasy and feel it slow as you fall asleep next to him.

And as he finally drifts off to sleep, he dreams of your skin on his, your laughter, and a field of flores.

¿Hablas español, hermosa = do you speak Spanish, beautiful?

Sí, empecé a aprender cuando era joven = Yes, I began learning when I was young.

Flor de Caña = Cane Flower

¿De qué piensas? = What are you thinking about?

Taglist: @burntheedges <3

Please message me or reply to this if you want to be added! :)

[modern-day-bard]

Worth The Feeling

Content Warning: 18+ This series contains explicit smut, intimidation, and an age gap relationship. Minors, do not interact.

Chapter 24

The smell of coffee fills my nose, rousing me awake. I stretch my arms above my head, sighing at the dull ache running through me. A private reminder of last night's events. I crack my eyes open just in time to see a shirtless Javi, hair tousled from sleep, walking toward me with two cups of coffee. I give him a lazy smile.

"Thank you," I say, accepting the mug. He bends down to leave a swift kiss to the top of my head.

"My pleasure," he jokes with a half-smirk, lounging in front of me on the foot of the bed. "Speaking of pleasure... is it too early to ask you how you felt about last night?"

I raise an eyebrow at him, taking a sip of my coffee. Cream and no sugar, he remembered from Italy. My heart constricts, just a little.

"How I felt?"

"Yes." He says as if it's the most obvious question in the world. "If it was too much, not enough, want me to do anything differently..."

I giggle. "That was hardly our first time, Javi."

He looks unsatisfied. "I know. But it was our first time doing...everything."

Ah. Now I knew what he was getting at. Even if he phrased it like we were in grade school.

"Well," I take another sip, "I don't know if you really want a full trip down dirty-memory-lane, but...no one has ever made me, you know, before while...you know."

Javi's eyes brighten, and it's his turn to point a raised eyebrow at me. "I'm afraid I don't know what you're getting at."

"Yes, you do." I say as firmly as possible, though a smile threatens to tug on the corner of my mouth.

"No, I don't."

We stare each other down for a minute or so, occasionally taking turns sipping on our coffee.

"We'll have to leave for work soon. And I'll have to go the whole day without understanding you." His voice is beyond immature at this point.

"Fine. No one has ever made me...come while...eating me out. Okay? Happy?"

Javi's eyes darken with a familiar possessiveness, and his smile grows.

"If I had known that, I would've stayed down there a while longer."

I balk at him. "I feel like three times is plenty for one evening."

"Hmm," He shrugs, "We'll see." And then he gets up to grab me his hoodie near my couch, as casually as if we had been taking bets on whether or not it would rain.

"I'm going to get you an ego-centric jar. Twenty dollars every time you make a comment like that. Maybe then I can spring for a one-bedroom."

He laughs, tossing me the hoodie which I begrudgingly accept. "I like it here. It makes it easier to take you in every square foot of the house." Javi winks even as I gasp.

"Twenty dollars. Pay up."

"Make it fifty if you want. Making you blush is worth every penny."

I pull the hood over as much of my face as possible. "Don't you have somewhere to be, movie star?"

"As do you, soon to be Key-PA. We should leave in about twenty minutes."

I grumble tired nonsense as I walk toward the bathroom, and I pretend not to see Javi's growing amusement as I clearly stumble when I stand. It's not my fault my legs are still gelatin.

Once I'm washed up, I grab a plain white t-shirt and a pair of jeans from my dresser. Javi's gaze is on me the entire time. I walk over to where he sits on the couch and hand him back his hoodie but he shakes his head.

"Keep it. It will make me feel good to know you have it here, especially when the photos start to emerge."

A pit of dread deepens in my stomach.

"Right...the Emma Thing." We both stare at the hoodie. "I don't dislike her, you know. She might be in her own world sometimes but she's always friendly. Seems respectful."

He nods, assessing my face carefully.

"It still makes you uncomfortable, though." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah. It still makes me uncomfortable. I'm also not thrilled that the studio is essentially controlling your decisions. And if you have to sell a romance between you two from now throughout a press tour...how long would that be?" I have an idea, but I couldn't bring myself to do the math on my own. It felt too real.

"We have two more weeks of shooting, and they'll be editing for a while. Tom said the plan would be to release some 'accidental' shots soon, and for us to lay it on thick during the press tour. But the press tour won't be until at least a couple of months from now, and we'd have the premiere after that..." Javi trails off.

"So depending on editing...you two could have to keep up this farce for, what, six months?"

"Yes," He says delicately.

In the light of day, the reality of the situation hits me so hard I feel like I can't breathe. Six months of tabloids about the man that I lo—care about? Six months of him holding another woman? Even if it was just for the cameras...I feel like a hypocrite. What is the difference between this and his acting career?

"How do you feel about it?" I ask softly.

He considers it for a moment. "I've had to do it before, and it never bothered me. It felt like another acting gig. And I'm glad it keeps you out of trouble, and that the studio will protect you if anything comes to light. Though it's not as if it's not allowed. I know how it could look thanks to Blake." He pauses, taking a breath. "What I don't like is that you were cheated on before. And correct me if I'm wrong," he smiles, trying to add some levity to this conversation, "But I'm the first person you've dated in the public eye. If I were in your shoes, it would be hard to differentiate this fake relationship with our real one. And it...hurts me, to know that I might make you feel that way."

I toss the hoodie beside him on the couch, feeling my chest warm as I do so. "I would never blame you. Even the fact that you consider these things makes the world of a difference."

Javi wraps his hands around my waist, placing a light kiss to my lips.

"And I'll have you know," I say, forehead pressed against his, "You're not the first person I've dated in the public eye."

He raises a quizzical brow.

"My mother has over six hundred Facebook friends. And she might as well have been the paparazzi in my last relationship."

Javi chuckles. "My apologies."

We stay there for a moment longer, before I confess in a light whisper, "I think it bothers me so much because everyone else will think it's real... I know that shouldn't bother me, but it does."

He nods. "I understand." He strokes my hair, tucking a few loose strands behind my ear. "But please trust me; the amount of eyes on a relationship isn't what dignifies its legitimacy. It's the love between those two people. And there is none of that between Emma and me."

A couple of butterflies release in my stomach, and part of me wants to giggle.

"You ready to go?" He asks.

I smile, nodding and going to grab my bag. When my back is turned to him, I can't help but smile wider. Another round of butterflies is set loose as I let myself wonder how dignified Javi thought our relationship to be.

- - -

The final two weeks of filming fly by at a steady, quick rate. True to Dwayne's words, we moved on as we had been. I followed him around most days, or stepped in for him when I could, organizing the other PAs. Of that part, I was glad. Also true to Dwayne's words, I don't see much of Javi on set. Judging from what I had overheard a few of the other crew members discussing, I was glad for that, too. As Sophie recalled last week when I was escorting a few extras to the hair and makeup trailer, Javi's picture was snapped getting rather close to Emma.

"I mean," her voice had dropped down into a whisper, "We obviously see the photographer, we know it's for promo. But the heat," She laughed, rapidly combing through the extra's hair and ignoring his wince. "He was hugging her from behind at one point and, I don't know, it could've fooled me." I chuckled along, gripping my walkie to the point of breakage. I wondered if Sophie hadn't heard the rumors about me and him, or maybe she had and we were just such old news at this point that it didn't matter. Either way, it created a small ache in my chest. Nightly phone calls did help to dull that ache. We had decided it was best not to risk him coming over again, at least until the movie had wrapped. Javi let me know that PR had planned on releasing the first photos of him and Emma the same week as the wrap party, so that rumors tied to the film would circulate exactly two months before they started doing press. Apparently the editors had been working as we were filming, and would continue to do so throughout their press tour. The movie would be ready for release sooner than I anticipated.

On the last day on set, there was that familiar, bittersweet fog covering everyone's typical day. We were all happy to go on hiatus again, but sad of the loss of routine. And for the most part, everyone liked working together. Even if we were collectively crossing our fingers that Lloyd is planning on producing the next film instead of directing it.

I brought Barb a coffee, and she gave me a swift hug. A rarity from her, but it can be seen more often on the last day. There were so many tiny, familiar traditions on the last day. But this time, the day was also filled with me reminiscing on the firsts. It was the first time I didn't quite want the production to end. This project was the first time I physically bumped into an actor, first time I confused the star with another crew member, first time I had fallen asleep on a plane thanks to that actor, and the first time on set that I had fallen in l—

No. Not going to finish that thought today. Not yet.

We gathered for a speech from Lloyd that he administers through a megaphone, not that he needs one. He had thanked us all for our hard work and persistence through this project, and became teary eyed when he talked about how proud he was of himself for dealing with such stress. A few newbies in the crowd laughed before they realized that he was, in fact, serious. And then that was it, and filming was over. I handed in my equipment and thanked Dwayne for the opportunity. He assured me that we could speak a few times during hiatus, he thought that I might be ready for the full responsibility on the next film. I only hope my enthusiasm in my response didn't make him want to rescind his offer.

"I'll see you at the wrap party," Dwayne smiled sincerely.

"I'm looking forward to it," I smiled in return.

Except I wasn't looking forward to it. As Lana, Mia, and I continuously stroll up and down the mall, I'm fresh out of wrap present ideas. And I'm also not completely thrilled that I'm about to see Emma and Javi all cozy tonight. He had warned me that Norwick's hired photographer would be there to take very stealthy, very posed photos. I shake that from my mind and try to focus on the task at hand.

"Why don't you just be repetitive like Lana?" Mia asks, taking a sip of her smoothie.

Lana gently wacks her arm. "That's not fair. Everyone loves that whiskey." She always gets her boss the same whiskey from her home state of Tennessee.

"Well," she clarifies with a smile, "Hank loves that whiskey at least."

"I'm not even sure if Dwayne drinks," I say peering at a nearby kiosk.

"If he works in entertainment, he drinks." Lana says dryly. Mia gets distracted by a sparkly window display of cocktail dresses, brushing her finger along the glass as if she can feel the sequins through it.

"Do you know what Dwayne likes?" She asks absentmindedly.

I think for a moment. "Hiatus?"

Lana laughs. "We technically are supposed to be the ones receiving the presents, anyway."

"You told me back in the day that it was the best way to stay on their good side. That and shutting up."

"I stand by that."

"Plus, I think I should get him something a little nicer as a 'thank you' for the promotion."

"Can we talk about what we're wearing tonight instead?" Mia asks, finally peeling her eyes away from the dresses.

"I'm thinking the usual, dress pants and a nice top." Lana responds.

Mia's face falls. "But it's a club."

"Then maybe it'll be a low cut top," Lana wiggles her eyebrows at Mia, and she blushes so deeply that I feel like I should look away.

"What are you thinking?" Mia asks me, still smiling.

"I'm not sure...maybe that green sort of sundress I bought a while back?"

Mia scowls. "A sundress, Ava? This is a club, people! C'mon, we're going in here." She points at the store, stomping inside before Lana or I can protest.

I have to admit, these dresses made me excited. In under ten minutes Mia and I had picked out eight dresses between us, and were now giving Lana a fashion show that she would most likely want to opt out of. Though a few of Mia's tighter fitted dresses got her attention.

Mia has settled on a midi maroon dress with a deep v. In her words, she has to look her best to make up for the fact that she is a plus one and didn't actually work to get an invite. Not the best excuse to spend money, but not the worst either.

Whereas the other dresses I tried on hugged my body, this one was loose, hanging from two simple spaghetti straps. It was much, much shorter than I was used to and it's cut in such a way that the back is exposed almost all the way to my butt. I laugh at the sight. Even still, I love how it shimmers.

I step out, putting on a show for Mia and Lana.

"YES," Mia claps. "Why do I like this way better than the booby blue one?"

"And it sparkles!" Lana jumps in.

The material was almost silky, but it had a bunch of a reflection and flecks of sparkles within the fabric. I shifted my hips from side to side to get the full effect.

"Do we think black is too boring?" I ask.

"Hmmm," Mia considers, "Do a turn."

I spin slowly, moving up on my toes to mimic heels.

"Boring? With that back? Never." Mia scoffs.

"It's also incredibly short..." I skim the hem with my fingers.

"As Mia reminded us, it is a club." Lana says in a teasing tone. "We deserve to go all out." Lana stands, walking over to me so she can talk quietly. "And, I know of someone who would love to see you in that dress."

My face heats. "We're keeping a low profile."

"What? Low profiles can't have a little fun?"

I look back and forth between my friends before tracing my hand down the front. A sinister part of me likes the idea of wearing this in front of Javi, knowing that he can't do another about it. If our current predicament has to be so strict, we might as well have a little fun when we can.

"Screw it," I say, marching back into the changing room.

"Yay!" Mia squeals behind me.

After our purchases, including a new sparkly hair scarf for Lana to match Mia's dress, we exit and keep walking.

"As much as I love what we got, it doesn't solve my Dwayne problem."

"Oh. Right..." Mia muses for a moment. "Maybe we should get him one to match?" She says it with so much mock sincerity that both Lana and I laugh. Looking to my left, my laughter quickly fades as I spot a kiosk filled with candy, snacks, and magazines. Tabloids. And as I walk toward it, drawn in like a forced breath, I see my—Javi's, face on the cover. Next to it, is a smaller image of him holding Emma's chin, smiling at her while her eyes crinkle with laughter. His free arm is wrapped around her waist. The photo looks as though it was shot through the bushes, though anyone on set knows the truth. I remind myself that I also know the truth...but he is a damn good actor. My fists clench at my sides as I read the headline, Gutierrez is Mad About Madden! Details Inside.

Before I can help myself, I snatch it off the shelf and flip to find the details page.

Lana and Mia come up behind me, but neither of them say anything as they read over my shoulder. In the centerfold of the tabloid, I find it. More photos. The two of them holding hands, his arm slung over her shoulders, both of them sitting for coffee in between takes. Honestly not as bad as I had expected. At least they hadn't kissed...as far as I know. But the thing that made my stomach churn the most was the text bubble to the right that read:

Emma and Javi's romance has been heating up as the couple prepares to wrap up their film, an untitled Norwick Productions project with Llyod Matthews to direct. A source tells us "the pair became inseparable while shooting the film, and they can't keep their hands off of each other." Javi is set to play a former CIA operative turned top secret spy who is brought back into action when his recent ex, Emma, is kidnapped by enemy forces. He must work with his former partner, played by Blake Henley, to save both Emma and the country. But will he be forced to choose between love and honor? It is safe to say that Javi, at least, seems to have chosen love.

"A very credible source, clearly." Lana mumbles. "Are you okay?"

I nod my head, "I'm fine." I place that magazine back on the shelf. "We knew it would happen. We've talked about it. He did it so I can keep my job and my promotion."

"Yeah...but are you okay?" Mia asks this time.

"Of course!" My voice is way too cheery. I try to tone it down. "Of course. I have a new dress, the three of us are going to party tonight, and I think I might have just thought of a gift for Dwayne."

I toss my hair over my shoulders, grabbing Lana's wrist and tugging her to the next store. "Let's go. We have a party to get to."

Next Chapter

Previous Chapter

Series Masterlist

[highsviolets]

waterfall inquiry: javier peña x reader

pairing: javier peña x young analyst!reader

summary: words should not make you feel so much.

warnings: age gap. kissing. and - the worst of all - f e e l i n g s. (soft ones)

a/n: [edited 10 June ‘21] this was supposed to be three parts...and now there’s more. I regret nothing :) 

[next] [series masterlist] [main masterlist] * gif: @anakin-skywalker​

“Bow swung finds tongue to fling out broad its name”

 “as kingfishers catch fire” | gerard manley hopkins

Neither of you should be here. Strictly speaking, at least.

The Embassy maintains regulations about these sorts of things, you’ve heard in jagged claims that coat the walls in a sickly iridescent sheen. Not the pretty kind that makes glitter sparkle. No, it’s the perverse shine — pyrite and oil spills on tepid water and those cheap kaleidoscopes they sell at county fairs.

Everything, it seems, is whispered here. Here at the Embassy, anyway; Colombia itself is a messy, irreverent place. A dreamlike people, an altered state where God acts as the intermediary between man and demons, not angels.

Perhaps that is why the Embassy is always quiet. The shrill clang of a phone ringing makes everyone start, fearful of keeping demons at bay. Even the PR reps speak in hushed tones, the words soft and soothing like cotton balls dipped in baby oil gliding across skin — crafting press releases each word slotted for a specific purpose, hand-picked with evolutionary precision.

It harasses you, stinging pricks drawing blood from beneath the surface of your bronze skin. Words should move freely, you believe. Like the way the Mississippi runs in during the spring melt: coarse, unimpeded, roiling in caught light, caressing the riverbanks as it soaks up all the world gives it — thrusting forward after a winter fraught in immobility, reveling in flinty purpose.

There’s a difference between words of fabrication and phrases of culled authenticity — the ones that stream from bleeding hearts, bound tightly by shoves and glares and hands that can’t keep still. Hands that grasp for something tangible. Anfractuous reminders of why they must be so careful, why they must keep the truth of themselves limited to brief instances of throwing back light or heat.

There is one man, you know, who thinks like you do — and he laughs at the fact that your jobs depend upon other people being careless with their words. Bandying about locations, codenames, numerals, what to buy at the grocery store. You can almost hear him, that marmalade voice spreading over you, eyes gleaming in smoke and fervor: yeah, carelessness gives us both a job. But it hurts, too.

Tonight, though. When you both are here when you really shouldn’t, you really fucking shouldn’t, not when you’ve been dreaming about him for…for how long? How long have you been in this country that makes a mockery of verisimilitude? Long enough, apparently, for everything else to blur when you look at him, for you to have memorized the way his shirts pull tight over his back when he’s leaned over his desk.

Eyes climb up the length of his torso, the slope of it heightened by the way he’s bracing his weight on his hands. His palms are spread wide and god as much as you think you want to stop the way your mouth runs dry at the sight his large palm, you can’t.

A sigh leaks out. The man in question spares a glance your way, matching the twist of his neck to the cigarette he brings to his lips. “You alright?” he mumbles around the thing, and you grip the desk’s edge a little harder at the sound, at the sight, of him in his element. His exhale — a finely tuned purse of the lips, discreetly directed away from your work — should feel the same as your sigh, but it doesn’t. It washes over you instead, and you rock in the way his existence ebbs and flows in and out of your person. Easy. Like breathing. Like all you have to do is breathe, and he’ll be there.

There are stories about him. When you had been sent down to Columbia as a junior analyst after the death of Escobar, you had quickly dived into the mythos the man. How could you not, when he was everywhere, the scent and swagger of him drawing eyes from every corner of the barricaded building?

The others — the replacements, someone had once termed the batch of new personnel flooding the country to fight Cali — had told you the stories; where they had heard them, you weren’t sure. Huddled over tepid drinks in the bar after work, blazers shrugged off and shirtsleeves rolled up, you had let them regale you of how he fought for years to bring down Escobar, only to be in Miami when his partner did the deed. How he fucks his informants; although, one of them admitted with a sigh, he hadn’t been known to do that in a while. How he was ruthless in the pursuit of justice. A fucking legend, man, someone had crowed about the older man, tongue loose with overpriced alcohol.

And through it all, there was you, eyeing the man himself across the bar. The embrace of his hands against the whiskey glass, the way he barely shuddered at the consuming burn of the stuff when he tossed it back in a behavioral gesture. He seems sad, is what you had thought. Whatever opposite of sad existed in this opulent measure of time by which you both abided — that’s what you wanted to do for him. To make him not-sad. He is aged, perhaps, but not old, rather like someone who could be young if they could shed the pallid skin of responsibility.

But you can’t play God in this country of fallen beings. Being consumes you instead, devolving into an obsession, hanging onto the ledge of yourself — gripping humanity and slicing rocks and graphite that stains your skin even as it slides away, too smooth to be held in hands that ache, swollen, from typing up reports detailing the tumbled-gravel sins of humanity.

He likes you. You think he might, anyway. He consults you before any of the others, and once or twice he’s dragged some Columbian officer into your tiny workspace, asking you to confirm the intelligence on whatever operation he’s desperate to get approved so he can do something. He asks with words that curl up and over themselves like whitecaps, one hand resting on his hip as he nods along to your recitation.

But it’s really his eyes you watch in these moments, aching in fluttering hope whenever they rest on yours. Javier Peña’s eyes when he visits you in your workspace are pleading thermoses of life under sterile fluorescent lights. He likes to send you a half-smile and a nod when you’re finished, tossing them over his shoulder as he escorts the man back to the Ambassador’s office. You are both too good at your job not to love it in some sick & twisted way, and he knows.

Other times he simply drops by. Leaning against your cubicle, he fiddles with a cigarette and chats with you as you work, asking questions that he knows he’s the only one examining.

Talk to me about the families of la cartel de Cali, he mutters, the hoarse sound deep and aching in your gut. About their mothers, daughters, sons, cousins, in-laws. Is anyone sick? Do they want to go on vacation? What’s the drama of the week, no, don’t laugh, — he smiles, here, barely, the delicate minutiae of the expression an external revelation of his magnetism — there always is in families. They’re human just like us. And that’s when he sighs, and looks across the hall, where in his office there’s a diagram of the Cali bosses splayed over the wall. Yeah...they’re like us.

Javier makes a slowly forms a habit of it, of stopping by your cubical and wrapping you in currents of charisma and truth. He does you a solid, too, bringing you to the attention of your superiors when he mentions your diligence. And you repay him in kind, taking care to slip into his office with new intelligence before the brass gets word. You tell yourself it’s simple mentorship. Mere patronage. He’s paying it forward, helping the young analyst get ahead in their career. These meetings are nothing to him, and they ought to be equally as empty to yourself. It’s just exchanges of information. Conversation between colleagues.

Of course, that doesn’t explain why you look forward to his fingers touching yours when you lend him a pen, or, when he makes some half-whispered joke in Spanish, it makes you shiver. Or the pride that blossoms in your chest, embracing you all soft and balmy, when he considers your words. He handles them like he does his favorite cigarettes, rolling them between his fingers, palming their weight, letting the texture seep into his skin before he lights them on fire.

You drop your pen a lot; he brings a finger to his mouth in thought. You don’t see the way he smiles when you do that, grinning at the muttered curse and roll of your eyes. And he decides that he likes the way you laugh about it; poking fun at your own mistakes, the skin that matches his own gleaming in the warm sun.

He can never do that. Perhaps he should? But he doesn’t make mistakes like that, toss-away interruptions of intended action. The mistakes he makes get people killed. All the more reason to keep checking with you, he reasons, to double-insure the intelligence. Can’t have another mess. And he likes to hear your laugh. Nothing wrong with that, he says. Nothing wrong with something that makes his heart stir and entices the eyes hidden behind yellow aviators to trace the length of your neck a little longer than strictly necessary when you throw your head back in unmarked joy.

And tonight, in his office? Tonight he seems melancholic again, like the first time you saw him across the bar. He keeps shifting his weight, one hand on his hip, and then on the table, and then shrugging off both his jacket and his tie and tossing them unceremoniously onto the couch, limbs extending listlessly. It’s as close to careless as he gets.

Or maybe it’s just the exhaustion fusing into you both. You feel slow and hazy, torn between staring at him and bleary eyes glaring at the map beneath his fingers. if you just look at it longer, you think, you can will it all to fall into place. and maybe if you did he would kiss you, and maybe he would kiss you the way he has always wanted to live.

Maybe if you traced your tongue along his exposed collarbone, penning of licks of hope in the space where his words seem to get caught, where his perpetually open collar leaves him defenseless to an onslaught of physical impressions…maybe then, he’d exhale in blessed adoration, taken outside of himself for just one moment.

He’s asking you a question. You alright? He does that a lot, you realize. Checks in with you. When you answer, he laughs — those delightful eyes seeping warmth into your weary bones as they crinkle in a smile — and he reminds you to call him Javier. He — Javier — has rebuked you at least three times tonight alone, but you’ve yet to oblige his request. If you do, if you let your tongue caress his sacred name and rest in its life-sodden weight, you fear…

you do not know what you fear. you do not know how saying his name will shift the tides in your life. but you know that you will remain forever anchored to him, tethered to his lunar opacity.

“What’s this?” you ask instead, shifting to rest against the desk. You’re beside him now, hip adjacent to his as you look up at him. Latent smoke hovers overhead, and locks of his hair have come undone after the long hours of work and now rest over his forehead small waves. It looks like it aches, being so out of place, and yet so distinctly him. Caught. Destined to arch over his tanned skin, all the while lingering in a place where it should not. Not here, anyway. Not tonight, in his office, far after everyone else has gone home.

“What’s what?” Javier rejoins, distracted, still bent over the desk, still bracing his weight on those fingers.

Rustling papers catch his attention, and he twists to meet your gaze. “This.” You point to the unfamiliar word, stamped out in standard font. “My Spanish is decent, but I’ve never seen this word before.”

The wrinkles behind the shield of his fallen hair press together as he cranes his neck, adjusting his stance to read the word on the paper you thrust in his direction. It clears rapidly though — the visage sailing and unfurling itself when he absorbs the story hidden in-between letters on a page.

He repeats the word back to you, leaning into the sound the way he leans into you, inching closer in his explanation. You stare at his lips, completely captivated — his tongue catching between his teeth — the purse of his lips — the rearrangement of his jaw as it conforms to the aerodynamics of structured syllables.

“Strictly speaking,” he says, eyes roving your face, deep and dark, “it means elf, or spirit. Something ethereal. It’s used in stories a lot.” The words are smooth, smokey, whiskey-like as you let them drip down your skin, the insides of your thighs. “Entiendes?”

Your body temperature rises. You can feel it — the way your mouth’s run dry and the paper’s slippery in your grip. Did his voice drop lower when he used the familiar form of the verb, not the formal? You think it did. Oh god, he’s so close, he could just extend a hand across your body and it could rest on your hip. You had never really noticed his height either, always in heels. Tonight, though, the heels are in the corner with his jacket and tie and you realize that he’s inches above you, yet somehow still within reach.

“What’s” — you swallow thickly, desperate to remain professional despite your wide eyes, the tongue tracing your lower lip — “what’s the non-strict definition of the word?”

He gives you one of his trademark smirks. “It can also mean,” he says, “enchanting. Charming. For someone or something to be magical.”

Nodding slowly, you drop your eyes down to the paper again, desperate to avoid his gaze. It follows you, watching your eyes hide even as you adjust to be ever-closer, a bare foot extending outward and brushing against the fabric of his dress pants. “I suppose that makes sense.”

“Say it,” you hear him urge, your head bolting up, incredulous. And you try, you really do, but it’s so new and unfamiliar and you’re so goddamn nervous with him looking at you, that you fuck it up. Words are but the vessels by which emotions themselves are expressed, so maybe the act of speaking should not make you feel all by itself. But it does — oh, god, it does, and you feel like you’ve shrunk in the process, dwarfed by this man with rolled up shirt sleeves wrapped around muscular forearms, who grins impishly around his cigarette.

“Not quite.” He stubs out the thing, and to your surprise, brings hand to your jaw, cupping your chin in-between his thumb and forefinger. “Say it again.”

“No, I can’t; I..“ you protest, and for what? because you don’t want him near you? no, that’s not it, but you’re being branded by his touch all the same.

“Say it again,” he commands again, more gently this time, his words accompanied by an encouraging nod.

You comply readily, sounding out the syllables. His strong fingers manipulate your movements, guiding you in pronouncing the difficult phrase. It’s forceful and noble, a tender yet compelling influence that teaches you how to wrap yourself in the meaning of the word as much the word itself. You’re tingling; is it from the thrill of achieving or from his sturdy hand against your bare skin?

He doesn’t back away when you’re finished speaking, but holds your stare. Dimly, you register the steady crescendo in your breathing. He’s not immune to your proximity either: his Adam’s apple bobs as he pushes down the deficit of hope flooding oppressive maxim of his presence. Times stretches as you remain caught in his hold, coursing through you, carrying you downstream in brash, coarse recklessness. Are the emotions you swim in those eyes yours, or his, or some measure of both?

The pads of his fingers migrate, drifting to rest along your cheek and tumble into his touch like a moth to flame, or fish to water, or whatever trite phrase people use to make sense of such profound belonging.

Javier is mesmerized with the way his fingertips trace your cheekbones, the shell of your ear, along your jaw, returning to outline your lips.

“Tell me to stop.” His voice scrapes along your bliss, and you force your eyes open to see that he’s moved even closer, closer-than-close, so tight against you that you’re nearly leaning back over the desk.

“Do you want me to?” His eyes are dark and still now, but for the way they’re trained on yours as you whisper fate into existence.

“No — fuck — I shouldn’t, I —“ his jaw shifts again, this time in agitation, but it is you who does the deed, cutting him off, reaching out to tug on his collar. The action pulls him forward, pressing himself against you, caging you between the desk and the broadness of his firm chest.  And you do know it’s firm now, at last slipping your hands underneath that truant fabric and gliding along his smooth skin. His hands find your waist, gripping your hips as he meets your lips in an open-mouthed kiss.

He — Javier, now — kisses you a single-minded intent, letting his lips slide over yours lazily, over and over, memorizing the imprint of you against his mouth. One hand drifts upward again, cupping your cheek as he tilts your head slightly, letting his tongue delve into your mouth and trace your teeth. It makes you gasp, and you retaliate with a gentle nip to his lower lip, silently begging for more. Javier moans into your mouth, the pressure sending a jolt of pleasure through his body.

Tightening his grip on your waist, Javier lifts you, placing you firmly on the desk, feet dangling a few inches from the floor. You know what he wants before he even has to ask and you give it him readily, wrapping your legs around his waist. Javier’s weight conforms to your own, molding against your body as you press into him, back arching in your submersion to his touch.

He is so eager; his kisses drench you in a deluge of incubated affection interspersed with need. Grasping at his shoulder, you pull him even closer, your other hand anxiously fiddling with his buttons as you sigh, reveling in the storm of his attention. Slowly, painstakingly, driven by a clamoring need for oxygen, he drags himself away from you, parting slowly, ever-loth to break the kiss.

You can’t help the shy smile that dances around your lips when you look up at him, standing above you. His chest is heaving, out of breath, hair somehow even more mussed than it was before. You suppose you can touch it now, so you do, two fingers brushing aside the fringe on his forehead.

Time, and space, and whatever else this stuff is made of have prevented from this alternate reality. until now. it has broken through the dam and caught you up in its awakening, broad and unrepentant.

Javier captures your hand as it lowers, pressing a kiss to the side of your palm. He’s so tender it makes you ache, and you wonder if this is why he stopped fucking his CIs. He requires something more intangible than what they could give him. “Javier,” you whisper.

He hums a question, rubbing a thumb over your knuckles as he watches you consider him, emotion lapping at the shores of unkempt eyes.

“You asked me to use your name. Earlier, I mean.” Should you feel embarrassed? Kissing a man several years your senior? Maybe you should. But you don’t. There’s a cordial warmth spreading through you, bolstered by his gentle touch, the outward connection of him and you that’s been built through months of inanimate remembrances.

“I know.” Javier nods and leans in again, his breath rippling across your skin. “Can you say it one more time, princesa? They say you need to do something three times” — a kiss to your cheek — “to make sure you really —“ a kiss to your forehead — “understand” — a kiss to the corner of your mouth.

The words fall out of your mouth, splashes of unrestrained affection dappling each letter. “Duende, Javier,” you murmur against his lips. “Duende.”

javi tags: @frannyzooey @yespolkadotkitty @rentskenobi @goldenkenobi ​ @goldafterglow @teaofpeach ​ @justrunamok ​ @huliabitch @cri-me-a-river @littlevodika @catsnkooks @themarvelousbear @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky @ladytrashbird @princessxkenobi @roxypeanut @dracos-jedi-marvel @a-seeker-of-imagination​ // taglist link in bio!

[mackenzielovee]

protection (3) — ari levinson

summary: Ari and your father have been business partners for ages, and it seems that he doesn't care for you. This doesn't stop you from trying; scheming to make the older man fall for you the same way the rest of your father's men have, too.

pairing: dbf! ari x reader

warnings: mentions of blood, death, guns, violence, smut (kissing, grinding, sexual language/content)

wc: 3.2k

masterlist | navigation | series masterlist

     For hours, you feel too humiliated to even try to venture out of your room. You try not to think about how Ari made you feel — how he tested you, embarrassed you, but made it seem as if he was doing it all for your safety. 

Your mind reels as you try to figure it all out. Figure him out. Eventually, you resign to thinking you never will. That doesn’t mean you’re willing to stop trying to get to him. 

It’s dark out when you decide to venture down the stairs. You can hear your father and his men in his office, and your skin crawls at the thought of facing Ari again today. You’re sure you’ve pushed him far enough, and maybe, just maybe, it would be wise not to push any further.

You hurry across the house and into the kitchen; socks sliding against the glossy wood floors. You’d taken a bath, just as your father suggested, then put on black shorts and an oversized tee shirt you’d stolen from an ex-boyfriend. 

Your stomach growls, and you begin to dig through the fridge in hopes of finding something; leftovers, microwavable meals, or even just something to snack on.

“There’s pasta on the top shelf.”

You tense and spin around, finding Javier standing on the opposite side of the kitchen, watching you. Even in the darkness that surrounds you, you can make out a cut on his bottom lip and a bruise around his eye. 

“Javi,” you breathe, “What happened to your face?”

“Ari,” he replies, then looks to the floor, “You okay?”

“Me?”

“Yes, you,” he nods, “I’ve never gotten used to being shot at. Even in my line of work. I can’t imagine how much it must have rattled you.”

You swallow, but you suddenly realize that there’s no pang in your chest. There’s no hear sunken feeling; no dread, anxiety, fear, or anything. You just feel numb. Before now, you hadn’t even realized the lack of emotions you felt about the day — unrelated to Ari and his behavior. 

“I’m fine,” you squeak, and it’s obvious Javier doesn’t believe you. 

“Well, I’ll be here when you’re not,” he promises. 

You frown, “He hit you?”

Javier finally allows himself to look at you now, then nods once to answer your question. 

“Three times,” he explains, “It’s not a big deal.”

You shake your head defiantly and flip on the kitchen light, then walk over to where Javier stands. You notice him looking you up and down, but you don’t call attention to it. 

“He can’t just hit you and get away with it,” you mumble, “Especially after he had a gun to your head.”

Javier smirks, “I’m fine, bonita. Truly.”

“I should give him a piece of my mind,” you grunt, crossing your arms over your chest. 

“No, you shouldn’t,” Javier chuckles. 

You open your mouth to speak, but the sound that travels through the air makes your blood stop cold in your veins. 

“Give who a piece of your mind?”

Javier’s smile falls and he immediately steps back from you, tucking his hands into the pockets of his dress pants. You spin slowly, coming face to face with Ari for the first time in mere hours. His glare is harsh and his jaw is clenched as he looks between you and Javier. Like a wave, the fear washes over you. It registers immediately that you only seem to feel anything when Ari’s in the vicinity — even if those feelings aren’t good ones. 

His gaze is strong as he stares at you, seemingly begging for you to try him. Again. You inhale deeply, then shake your head. 

“Nobody,” you mumble. 

He nods, but his jaw ticks victoriously, “Javier, get the car ready. We’re leaving in ten minutes.”

“Yes sir,” Javier replies automatically, stealing one quick glance at you before adding, “Goodnight, Miss Y/N.”

“Goodnight, Javi,” you whisper. 

The room falls silent, but it seems that Ari finds comfort in that. He leans up against the doorframe and crosses his arms, following in Javier’s steps and not bothering to hide the way he looks you up and down. The idea of him looking at you that way makes you squirm, and you let it show. 

He smirks as you fidget with your hands, doing your best to avoid his eyes. 

“Are you still mad at me?” you ask, your voice sounding weak and powerless compared to his. 

“Yes,” he replies, “Are you still mad at me?”

You bite the inside of your cheek, finally daring to meet his eyes. Your heart feels like it’s burning up in your chest when he looks at you, and your mind races as you try to figure out why Ari has such an impact on you. 

“Yes,” you mumble. 

He nods, “I’m not going to apologize.”

“Neither am I.”

You watch as his lips tip up, but he lets the expression fall. Then, he takes a step forward, then another, watching as you move back. He continues his pursuit forward until your back meets the counter, trapping you in.

“I’m not asking you to,” he rasps. 

Your throat is suddenly dry, and all you can smell, all you can see, is him. He’s too close, and every alarm bell you’ve ever had is blaring inside of you. Instead of moving, you allow him to take the remaining steps to you, then set his hands on the counter on either side of your body. He’s caging you where you stand, maintaining eye contact and showing no fear. 

“Are you flirting with me, Mr. Levinson?”

You know it’s a risk, but it’s your plan. To lure him in. You count yourself victorious, given that it’s only been one day, and he’s already so close. You refuse to show fear, even though your heart is racing out of your chest. Calm, cool, collected. Make him sweat. 

“Like you’ve been flirting with me?” he counters, raising a brow. When you don’t answer, he dips his head down, requesting an answer and adding, “Huh?”

“Maybe,” you answer shyly. 

His smirk widens, and you swear he moves even closer to you before he stands up straight, nodding in approval when you follow him with your eyes. 

“What, you’re gonna play the game and then get all shy?” he teases, “I’m falling for it, sweetheart.”

You furrow your brow, “Falling for what?”

“For your little game,” he shrugs, his hand dragging along the counter and ghosting over your waist, “You’re clearly in desperate need of attention. You’re upset because your Daddy doesn’t give you enough—”

You shove him then, realizing Ari’s playing his own game that you don’t know anything about. He chuckles dryly and stumbles back, but catches himself and recovers quickly.

“Fuck you, Ari,” you say. 

He laughs dryly, “You ought to know better than to speak to me like that.”

“I’m speaking to you like this because you’re being an asshole,” you fire back, “I’m not desperate, and I don’t have Daddy issues.”

Ari snorts, “Okay, sure. And I’m not about to go shoot a guy in the head for looking at you the wrong way today.”

Your eyes widen at those words. Ari shakes his head and runs a hand through his beard, sighing with frustration as you stand in front of him. Motionless and fearful. 

“You’re going to kill him?” you ask quietly.

“He tried to kill you,” he replies instantly. 

You grow quiet at that; unwilling to beg for a man’s life when Ari’s standing in front of you like this. He radiates strength and power, and even though a small part of you is afraid of him, a bigger part is squirming because of how much he makes you feel. 

The idea of Ari killing the man from the street today brings a pit to your stomach, but not for the reason it should. 

“What if he tries to kill you first?” you question. 

His smirk returns, “Then, I guess you’ll be free to run off into the sunset with your precious Javi.”

You look up at him, but you don’t verbally respond. He licks his lips as he stares down at you, both of you feeling as if silence is a better communicator than words. 

He doesn’t step back, doesn’t attempt to move or give you more space. He merely remains still, remains focused, and leaves the next move up to you. You know you shouldn’t take it — not after what he said about you having Daddy issues and essentially calling you desperate. But, you can’t help yourself. He’s right there in front of you, and you justify your action by telling yourself that it’s all part of getting the big, bad Ari Levinson to fall to his knees. 

He freezes when you press the palm of your hand to his broad chest — clearly not expecting this in the slightest. He’s warm, you think, and strong. Your lips tip up as you feel the power come back to you.

“You’ll be careful, won’t you, Mr. Levinson?” 

He swallows, not daring to move a muscle. Your smirk widens as he works to form a response, although his eyes never leave yours. 

“No,” he answers, stepping closer and drawing your palm further up his chest, “Not with the motherfucker who tried to kill you today.”

Your insides burn as you imagine what Ari is capable of. Even so, you don’t bother dropping your hand. 

“I’ll wait for you to come home,” you whisper, watching his eyes drop to your lips, “You’ll need someone to clean you up, right?”

You watch every thought fall from his head except for one. Mindlessly, Ari nods. You smirk, knowing you have him right where you want him.

Until you don’t.

All at once, Ari snaps right back into it — and it takes you too long to realize that he never lost control at all. With his hand placed lightly around your throat, he pulls you away from the counter and over to the pantry door. He roughly sets you up against it and boxes you in again, then leans down so that his lips are only inches from yours. 

“That’s real cute,” he murmurs. 

You swallow roughly, gasping when he presses his body up against yours. The entire facade slips, and all you can think about is how close he is, how good he smells, and how much you want him. 

“What is?” you ask breathlessly. 

“You,” he replies, “Thinking you can play with me. You should know better, baby.”

Frantically, you shake your head, the feeling of being in trouble somehow clouding your judgment. You’ve forgotten the game, and all you can think about is him. 

“I do,” you whisper. 

He raises a brow, “You do, huh?”

“Mhm,” you hum, leaning closer. 

He grins, “Prove it.”

Ari pulls his head back when you rise on your tip-toes, desperate to prove it to him in any way possible. You can’t seem to think of anything besides kissing him, feeling him, being this close to him. 

“Ari,” you whine, trying to tug him in by the end of his shirt. 

You watch the look in Ari’s eyes change as you say his name, and for a moment, you think that’s the key. The answer. Just say his name, and he’ll look at you like he’s ready to drop to his knees. You’re sure he almost does, but stops when he hears your father’s office door open down the hall. His voice is faint, but the sound of his Italian loafers against the wood floor tells you he’s coming to the kitchen. 

“I’ll come back when he’s dead,” Ari whispers to you, “I can’t fucking think straight knowing he’s out there thinking about you like that.”

You bite your lip to hide a smile, then run your hand down his chest. He groans deeply, but doesn’t stop you. 

“Will you bring me back a souvenir?”

Ari’s jaw ticks, “If there’s anything left of him.”

You smile, and so does Ari. Your father rounds the corner just as Ari takes three large steps back, not breaking eye contact with you for a second. 

“Oh, hello, my love,” your father greets you, “What are you doing up so late?”

You give your father a convincing smile, “I just needed a snack.”

He steps over to you and kisses your forehead, clearly unsuspecting. Javier leans in the doorway of the kitchen, but you can’t find it in you to look at him. He’d left you alone with Ari several minutes ago, and you still haven’t come any closer to making something to eat. 

“Eat whatever you’re hungry for, darling. We have some business to take care of tonight, but Vick will be in the house if you need anything, and Derek and Mateo are at the front gate. Get some good rest, okay?”

You nod, “Okay, Dad.”

He beams, then kisses your forehead once more. When he turns back to Ari and Javier, you allow your eyes to float back up. Ari’s watching you; fists clenched tightly at his side.

“Let’s get moving, boys,” he says. 

Javier nods and walks off without a word, and your father follows. Ari lingers, stealing one last glance at you before swallowing and turning his back. 

“Be careful, Mr. Levinson,” you say quietly, only for him to hear. 

He turns and raises a teasing brow, then licks his lips. You ignore the feelings that stir in your stomach. 

“Get some rest,” Ari says, repeating your father’s words before adding, “You’re going to need it.”

     Your mind doesn’t stop buzzing after Ari leaves. You’d watched him from the window as he climbed into the bulletproof, black SUV, dripping power and dominance with every step. He doesn’t look back, not even once, and you swear you can feel anxiety swirling at the thought of him not returning to the house. 

After they leave, you’re far too anxious to eat, so you end up wandering around the house. Vick stays in your father’s office, and you don’t even attempt to bother him. After an hour of deafening silence, you head back upstairs to your room, where you do your best to distract yourself. 

Around one o’clock in the morning, you fall asleep. Keeping your eyes open proves to be too difficult, and your head falls to the right as you sit up in your bed. 

     It’s not until almost four o’clock that you hear the doors slamming and the boots against the wood. Your father barks out orders, and the second you register his voice, your eyes go wide. If he’s home, that means Ari is, too. 

You scramble off your bed and over to your door, pulling it open without a second thought. You can hear your father talking downstairs, but it all fades quickly. 

Ari appears at the top of the stairs, and the breath escapes from your lungs. His eyes take their time traveling up, then down, and finally, he looks right at you. 

You take in his appearance; bruised and bloody knuckles, blood spatter on his face, neck, and shirt, and dirt covering the rest of him. He’s dirty, but you don’t care one bit. 

“Here,” he says gruffly, walking over to where you remain frozen, “A souvenir.”

Obediently, you hold your hand out and take what he offers without even considering what it might be. When you feel the cool metal touch your palm, you look down. 

“What is this?” you ask quietly.

“His wedding band,” Ari answers, emotionless, “He’s dead. You know what that means?”

You snort to yourself as you go through the possibilities he could say next. Even though you should be repulsed at the idea of holding a dead man’s wedding band, you’re not. Strangely, it’s because Ari gifted it to you. 

“What?” you whisper, looking back up at him. 

He steps closer and lowers his voice, “That means, the only man fantasizing about you tonight will be me.”

You don’t even have to think before you’re reaching for him, tracing over the dried blood on his shirt with your perfectly manicured finger. 

“You don’t have to fantasize.”

That seems to be all the permission Ari needs, because you’re not at all prepared for the way he steps forward and grabs you, picking you up and pushing your back against the wall in one quick motion. You grasp and lock your legs around his waist, then your arms around his torso. His mouth meets your jawline, neck, and collarbones, leaving traces of harsh, wet kisses and bite marks in their wake. His breath is hot on your skin, but you love the feeling more than you could ever describe. 

“I fucking knew it,” he groans into your neck, “Skin’s so fucking soft. You like teasing the fuck out of me, baby?”

“Mhm,” you hum, unable to form words, “Ari—”

“Shh,” he hushes you, pressing another kiss, then another, then another to your jaw and cheeks, “I’m gonna stand here and savor every bit, and you’re gonna let me. Understood?”

You grind your hips against his abs, and he pushes his midsection closer into you, forcing a moan from your throat. You let him do whatever he wants; doing exactly as he ordered you to do and remaining quiet and still for him. Your fingers comb through his hair and tug, which bring short groans out of his throat. 

It isn’t until he bites down on the right side of your neck that you let out a loud sound, a moan of his name, that he covers your mouth with his large hand. 

“Oh, baby,” he chuckles against your neck, “You want your Dad to hear how desperate you are for me? How willingly you spread your legs for his business partner?”

“Ari,” you whine, “Want you.”

“I want Javier to hear you,” he continues, ignoring your words and the way you grind against him, desperate for friction, “I want him to hear your weak little gasps every fucking time I touch you. He’s never heard them before, right, baby?”

“No,” you say immediately, “Don’t want Javi. Want you.”

“Aw,” he grins, his smile and his tone patronizing, “You’re so needy. You just want attention, huh?”

“Yes,” you pant. 

He grins, and you feel hopeful. You imagine him carrying you to your bedroom, stripping off every article of clothing, and keeping you in your bed until the sun comes up. You move closer, wanting to kiss him, but he pulls back. Just as you start to frown, he reaches around and unlocks your legs from his waist, then practically drops you onto the floor. 

“Don’t you dare forget this,” he says deeply, “How I can reduce you to fucking nothing in under five minutes. You think you hold the power with your little shorts and that fucking smile? Not a chance, baby.”

Your eyes widen and your lips form into a pout — Ari leaving you feeling embarrassed and humiliated for the second time today pushing you too far. 

“Ari?” you question, watching his smirk deepen. 

“Enjoy your souvenir,” he replies coldly, then turns away, “It’s the last one you’ll get from me for a while.”

He descends down the stairs without another glance or word, leaving you standing there, desperate, sad, and needy. You watch him go, and let the embarrassment settle in your chest. You’re not used to this — the feeling of being rejected or denied. Although Ari challenges you, no part of you wants to face these feelings. You wanted it to all be easy, and Ari Levinson is proving to be very, very difficult. Especially when it registers as you walk back into your bedroom that he didn’t even once kiss you on the lips.

a/n: i hope you enjoyed! leave me some feedback if you can or want to! reblogs are appreciated :)

*i no longer have a taglist , follow @mackupdates for updates!

[crazyk-imagine]

The Good, The Bad, and The Working on It

Pairing: (Stepdad) Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Mom!Reader

Characters: (Stepdad) Jake “Hangman” Seresin, Mom!Reader, Edwin and Maryanne (the kiddos), Penny Benjamin, Amelia Benjamin, Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw, Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, Natasha "Phoenix" Trace, Robert "Bob" Floyd, Reuben "Payback" Fitch, Mickey "Fanboy" Garcia, Javy "Coyote" Machado, Billy "Fritz" Avalone, Callie "Halo" Bassett, Neil "Omaha" Vikander, Bringham "Harvard" Lennox, Logan "Yale" Lee, Marty and Cody (the other bartenders)

Warnings: Fluff, minor angst, not enough communication (always communicate with your partner), minor cursing (very brief), drama, nicknames (gorgeous, darlin’, etc.), Fanboy is the man when it comes to photography, Bob is the best guy for the job of being a DJ,  Javy "Coyote" Machado is a good friend, Jake being a softie, Penny acts as a protective mother figure over reader, Bradley judges our favorite cocky pilot, everyone teases Jake, Cute quick Penny and Pete moment.

Word Count: 11,575

A/N: This can easily become a series, still thinking about it though (even though I have notes and drafts all revolving around this imagine and I made a header for it not even 10 min ago)

Answers to TGTBATWOI

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Three and a half years ago…

After the father of your kids decided that he had enough of being tied down and left with little to no goodbye, it was safe to say you didn’t think or care about dating after that shitty experience. 

So, you can fully admit (as well as Jake and his pilot buddies) that it was no surprise when you met said pilot at the Hard Deck. 

You work there a little more than part time, being a bartender there is your “out of the house” job (as you like to say) and you do a type of telemarketing at home when the company you’ve been emailing with asks you too. 

Luckily it doesn’t happen all the time but sometimes it can be pretty inconvenient on days when your babies have a part in a play and they’re the lead star or when they have their first soccer game (it was a bit of a hassle to accomplish but you did it). 

And then again, it was no surprise when Jake was a jackass when you two first met. 

You (and anyone else, yes, including Bradley and Pete) can admit that it was nice when he actually started to act like a human being with emotions and not some douche with a huge ego. 

Today however, will be the test to see how everything will be if you and Jake decide to take your relationship (or pining) a step further… even though he hasn’t officially asked you out.

-

“Are you sure you can’t watch them for another three-ish hours?” You ask your babysitter and get a lame excuse saying she can’t because she has to study when she actually has plans to go out with her friends and her boyfriend (the kids told you yesterday about all this). 

You sigh, hanging up your phone before shoving it into your pocket. You rest your hands on the edge of the bar top, closing your eyes with your head down to the floor. 

“You, okay?” Penny asks. 

You quickly straighten your posture, “yep, all good.” 

“Your babysitter cancel on you?” 

You avert your gaze, “maybe.” 

“You get off early tonight, why not bring them here? Pete and the others will be here. They could go swimming.” 

“I don’t have any of their swim things and no sunscreen. Plus, I need them to focus on their homework right now. I don’t want to have another meeting with their teachers over something as minor as homework.” 

She nods, “alright. We can have them sit over at one of the tables until the lunch rush shows. And, before you say anything, breath. We’ll be fine. I’ve got Marty and Cody coming in for their shifts in an hour which will give you more than enough time to go pick them up and come back here… even though we won’t need you.” 

“I’m gonna ignore that last part because we both know it’s not true. Thank you.” 

You check the clock on the wall, “crap. I gotta go. I’ll be back soon.”

-

“Looks like your girlfriends not here,” Javy comments. 

“She’s not- shut up, man.” Jake shoves his buddy away from him as he enters the bar, immediately aiming for the center station. He can’t take these conversations seriously without a drink. 

“Where’s the only sensible woman Bagman hasn’t managed to sink his claws into?” Natasha asks, standing behind him. 

“He’s in one of his moods,” Javy says before leaning down to “whisper”, “she’s not here. Her car wasn’t in the parking lot.” 

“Guess she came to her senses,” she pats him on the shoulder. 

Logan, Billy, and Callie wave her over, pointing to the pool table. 

She walks away from the two, wanting to place some bets (knowing she’ll make a quick buck or two). 

-

“She’s gonna be here soon, you know. Don’t pout, man.” Javy pats Jake’s shoulder, not wanting to have to console the dude for something so minor but willing to do so anyway. 

“Would you stop saying that? I don’t care, alright?” 

His friend makes an attempt to respond but doesn’t because he starts coughing, choking on his saliva. 

“You good?” 

His buddy shakes his head, covering his mouth with a clenched fist, using his free hand to point over at you. 

The blonde turns, his eyes widen ever so slightly. “She has kids?” He mutters to himself, wondering who else may have known and if this is why you continue to turn him down. 

He thinks back to the times when he’s asked you out and if you wear a wedding ring or have mentioned having a boyfriend, but the answer is no.

-

“Alright, today we can focus on your homework a little more because Pen has a couple extra hands. We ready?” 

“Do we have to?” Edwin, Ed (or Eddie) asks with a whining tone. 

“Don’t give me that pouty lip, Mister. If we can get this done before we go home, I know for a fact you would feel better.” 

“What if I don’t want to feel better?” 

“You should.” 

You turn to your daughter, Maryanne, who’s older by three years looks back down at her own work. “Thank you, sweetheart, but I don’t need you to chime in with your insightful thoughts.” 

“But he needs to focus. He’s already gotten a warning from his teacher.” 

“He’s what?” You turn to look at your son, “Edwin, is this true?” 

He looks down, not saying anything. 

“Why did you get a warning?” 

“She wouldn’t let me ask my friend for help.” 

“Were you talking to your friend during class time when you know you’re not supposed to?” 

He purses his lips, “that’s ervelant.” 

“Irrelevant, sweetheart. How long ago did you get your warning?” 

“He got it on his first day and we’re on our third day of school now.” 

You turn to your daughter, “do you know if it was a verbal warning or is there something I need to sign?” 

She shakes your head, “the first one. It’s okay though. His teacher tells me what I need to tell you when I’m waiting for him in his class after school.” 

Your son is upset that you two are talking about and “acting” like he’s not even there. “Don’t talk about me like I’m not here!” 

“Eddie, I need you to calm down-” 

“No!” 

You open your mouth to say his name again when he hops off the chair and runs off. Your eyes widen. “Sweetheart, you’re coming with me. Hold my hand.” 

“Mom,” she groans. 

“There is a small crowd already. I will not lose both of my children in it.” 

She lets out a dramatic, long sigh, “fine.” 

You grab her hand, “thank you.”

-

Javy opens the bathroom door, stopping when something bounces off his legs. He freezes when he sees a little boy sitting on his butt, looking up at him, ready to cry. “Oh no.” 

“Hey, what’re you doing? Get out of the doorway, man,” Jake says. 

“There’s a tearful kid in the way.” 

“What?” He looks over his buddy’s shoulder to find Edwin sitting there with a wobbly lip. 

“What do I do?” 

“Pick the kid- move out of my way.” Jake scoffs, “Coyote.” The blond bends down, holding his hand out for the little boy to take. 

Edwin hesitantly reaches up for the man’s hand. 

Jake helps him off the ground, giving him a gentle smile. “Atta boy, you’re looking better already. Is your mom or dad here?” 

He nods. 

“You want to point me in their direction-”

“Eddie! Edw-” Maryanne stops you, pointing to Jake. 

You rush over to the two, kneeling beside Jake. “Edwin, I’ve told you too many times, not to run off like that.” 

He sniffs, nodding his head. 

You sigh, wiping his cheeks before turning to find- “Jake.” 

“My favorite,” he glances between the two, “b-a-r-t-e-n-d-e-r.” 

“I can spell,” Maryanne says with slight attitude. 

“Maryanne.” 

“Sorry mama.” 

“These two are yours?” 

“Obviously.” 

“I’m really sorry,” Javy starts to apologize. “I didn’t see him and then he-” 

You smile, “Javy, it’s okay. I know you didn’t do anything on purpose. He just got upset and ran off.” 

“I’m still really sorry.” 

“We accept your apology.” You stand up, “why don’t you two go join the rest of your crew. We’ve got some work to do.” 

Your daughter pouts, leaning against you. 

He stands up. “You go,” Jake whispers to Javy. 

“Dude.” 

“Just go.” 

“Alright, alright.”

-

“So, what kind of homework do we have to do?” 

You shake your head, holding both of your kids’ hands, “no, Jake. You go join your friends. You don’t want to stay and help out with homework, that’s not what you came here to do.” 

“I came here to talk to some people, and I’d certainly enjoy talking to you three.” 

You scoff through your nose, shaking your head to hide the fact that your cheeks are on fire. 

“Let me carry little man and don’t tell me I don’t need to. I want to, gorgeous.” He lifts Edwin into his arms, holding the boy against his hip. 

Maryanne starts walking ahead, pulling you with her. 

You all settle into your seats, Jake across from you with the kids on each side of you. 

“I finished my writing assignment before we went looking for Ed.” 

You give her a small smile, “that’s good, what else do you have to do?” 

She pouts, “math.” 

You nod, “okay.” 

“I can help,” Jake offers. 

“You can?” You ask. 

“I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that attitude and say yes.” 

“Since when were you a math whiz?” 

“Since I actually put in the effort to pass.” 

“That’s always nice to hear...” You smirk, resting your head on your palm, “were you being threatened with detention?” 

“Worse.” 

“No car?” 

“Bingo.” 

“I bet it would have been hilarious to see teen, skinny armed, pasty Jake riding his bike through the neighborhood.” 

“Oh, yeah. So, funny.” He turns to Maryanne, glancing down at her work, “you need help with math?” 

“Yeah… can you help me?” 

“Sure, I can. What are we doing today?”

-

“Is he actually being nice to kids?” Bradley mutters. 

“He’s obviously doing it to impress her,” Reuben adds. 

“I don’t think so. He’s actually good with kids. You should see him with his nieces and nephews,” says Javy. 

“There’s more of him? There are little bagman’s running around out in the world?” Natasha asks, catching the last little bit of the conversation. 

Javy dry laughs, “ha ha. Yeah, kind of. He just doesn’t want you all to see him as a softie.” 

“I feel like I’m watching a rom com,” Mickey says. 

“But it’s actually decent and well worth watching,” adds Bob. 

“How long have you been there?” Reuben asks. 

“A few minutes. I’m waiting on my soda.” 

“Anyone want to play pool?” Javy asks. 

“Or darts? Maybe next to them?” Natasha offers. 

Javy smirks, “let’s go.” He wraps his arm around her shoulders, pulling her with him. 

Mickey and Bob trail behind them, shaking their heads, not liking what the two may be planning. 

Reuben runs over to the bar to grab their drinks.

-

“And how are we today?” Javy asks, wrapping his arm around is buddy’s shoulders. He turns to Edwin, “sorry about running into you little dude.” 

“It’s okay and we’re good. Jake’s helping Maryanne with her math,” you tell him. 

“You’ve got the best guy to help her.” 

“How come we never met your mini me’s?” Mickey asks, pulling Javy away so he and Natasha can start their game of darts. 

“My babysitter canceled.” 

“That sucks. Why? If you don’t mind me asking.” 

“She’s in high school, has a boyfriend. Need I say more.” 

“Ah,” he nods, “got it. Well, if you ever need a babysitter, I’d happily offer my services.” 

“Well, aren’t you sweet.” 

Jake furrows his brows; he knows the kid isn’t hitting on you, but he can’t help but feel a little jealous very jealous. “Alright, that’s enough. Your partner in crime is calling you over to play darts.” 

Mickey snickers as he walks away. 

-

“You good, Seresin?” You ask with a raised brow. 

“Always,” he smirks before helping Maryanne with her homework. 

You smile, letting yourself daydream about a future with him and how nice it would be to be able to share a life with him, having family outings, potentially expanding your family, and growing old together… You shake your head, ridding your mind of these thoughts. You don’t want to get your hopes up (anymore, then you already have). 

He glances over at you and smiles. 

You fight the urge to smile for a second before you give up and give in, smiling with just as much, if not a skosh more happiness. 

After about an hour or so, Maryanne was able to successfully finish her homework. 

“You know if she gets a good grade on her homework, I’m gonna ask you to help her again. I can barely help her when she asks me. If it was me, I would have still been on problem two.” 

Jake chuckles, “I’d be happy to help her out as long as I get to take you out.” 

A nervous chuckle escapes you, “you mean like a- like a date?” 

“If you wouldn’t be opposed to it.” 

You bite the inside of your cheek, “I’ll see if I can find the time.” 

He shakes his head. 

You check your phone, seeing that it’s dinner time and you’ve been off your shift since- wow three hours ago. “Looks like it’s time to go home. I’ve still got to make dinner and figure out when I need to go grocery shopping. Do I need gas?” You push your chair in, helping the kids get ready. 

Jake getting out of his seat makes you realize you, kind of, forgot about him for a second. “Oh, sorry, I got too into my head.” 

“It’s alright, my sister is the same way.” 

“Oh, how is everyone? I’ve been meaning to ask but every time I want to someone else needs a drink.” 

“It’s okay. Maybe on our date we can talk more about things you’ve been wanting to ask me and… I can do the same.” 

“Yeah?” 

He nods, giving you a genuine smile, enjoying how he gets to see you all excited and jittery (and hopefully because of him, in a good way, of course), “yeah.” 

“Can we go now?” Edwin asks, rubbing his eyes. 

“Come on, let’s go.” 

“I’ll walk you all out.” 

-

“I’ll call you.” 

“You don’t have my number,” you point out. 

“Did you forget, I’m good with numbers.” 

You’re not impressed right now. “Just give me your phone.” 

“So bossy,” he teases, pulling his phone out of his pocket. 

“You love it, don’t lie.” 

“Maybe I do but, I think that’s more of a later date thing.” 

You return his phone back to him, “you think we’ll be going on more than one date?” 

He nods. “I know we will.”

You shake your head, “goodnight, Jake.” 

He leans in, giving you time to push him away; you don’t. He pecks your cheek. 

You close your eyes, inhaling his cologne (something else you’ve grown to like about him). 

He pulls back, opening the car door for you. 

You shake your head, remembering what you have to do. 

“Text me when you get home,” he says, leaning against the car and door. 

“Only if you do them same.” 

“’Course I will. Goodnight, gorgeous.” 

“Night, Jake.”  

-

After that night, he officially asked you out for a proper date and the two of you hit it off. 

He didn’t take you to a fancy restaurant (since he asked the others and Penny for a few different ideas on where you’d like to go). Jake did NOT want to screw up (what felt like) his one chance to take you out. 

The two of you found yourselves in his truck, laying in the back watching the stars, talking about whatever came to mind while you ate fast food. 

“This has to be the best date I’ve been on in- well, ever honestly,” you admit, staring up at the night sky. 

He turns his head, studying your side profile, “really?” 

“Without a shadow of a doubt.” 

He gulps, unsure if he should ask this now or ever. “I know this is too soon to ask and I might be overstepping some boundaries but, what happened with Maryanne and Edwin’s dad? Is he going to come back into their lives at any point in the future?” 

You scoff, leaning up to rest on your elbow with your head angled down towards him. “I can assure you that he will never come back into their lives until they turn eighteen then they can make the decision, but I will take the role of a bad guy if it means I keep that asshole away from them and out of their lives.” 

You sigh, resting on your back once more, “he decided that when Edwin was three months old, and Maryanne was close two and a half that he wasn’t cut out for the life of being a dad or being tied down, so he left, and I haven’t looked back since. He hasn’t called or texted since then so why should I go looking for him. He made his choice.” 

“And you made yours.” 

“What’s that?” 

Jake shuffles closer to you, cupping your cheek with his thumb brushing across your cheekbone every so often as he stares into your eyes. “You are raising two amazing kids all by yourself and you look damn good doing it.” 

You let out a quiet playful laugh. 

“I’m not gonna lie, a part of me wishes that they were mine.” 

“Yeah? What about the other part of you?” 

“Which one? I’ve got two more.” 

You raise your hand, placing it against the base of his neck, brushing your thumb back and forth against the edge of his hair, “what’s the second part of you say?” 

“How much I want to ask you to marry me even though it might be too soon.” 

“And the other?” 

“If it’d be stupid of me to ask if you’d be my gorgeous girl and let me in, help you raise those two troublemakers.” 

You sink your teeth into your bottom lip, preventing yourself from getting too emotional. “Seems to me like you just want to get in my house to see my bedroom.” 

“That would certainly be a plus, wouldn’t it?” 

“For you maybe.” 

“Damn straight.” He leans down, whispering in your ear, “I’d get to see what you wear underneath your pretty little clothes without asking you to strip for me.” 

You scoff, slapping your hands against his chest. 

He chuckles, pulling back to see you relaxed and happy, something he doesn’t think he’s ever seen before. “There’s another part of me that wants to do something.” 

“Like what?” 

“Kiss you.” 

You don’t realize it until a second later, but your lips tugged upwards, and you know you’re smiling. “Do it,” you whisper. 

He hums, blinking owlishly at you clearly coming out of his thoughts. 

You lean up and lightly brush your lips against his before pulling back. You switch from staring one eye to the next, waiting to see panic or disgust, only to find the stars twinkling in his eyes. “Kiss me.” 

“Are you sure? Because I don’t think I’ll be able to stop once I start.” 

You both lean into one another sharing a passionate first kiss (with many more to come).

-

Two years later...

“Do you think she’s gonna say yes?” asks Jake, to his friend who has a bored look on his face. 

“I hope so. I’m tired of hearing you complain and whine about “if she says no” and how you’ll “die” with whatever answer she does give you,” Javy slaps his hands on the blond man’s shoulders, “shut up. She’s gonna say yes.” 

Jake says nothing as he purses his lips, “I hear you but what if-” 

“Shut up,” Javy hands him a handful of darts, “and play. Have a drink, just do something- anything to calm your nerves… please. And you hear that? I’m asking you nicely.” 

He stares at Javy with a deadpan expression. “I’m talking to you in confidence. You’re supposed to boost me up and help me feel better.” 

“I am.” 

“You’re not being honest with me,” Jake complains. 

“I am.” He sees the look his fellow pilot is giving him out of the corner of his eye while he throws the dart at the dartboard, it lands, and he turns around. “Look, you’re an asshole-” 

“Thank you, keep telling me things I need to hear,” the blond says with sass. 

“But you’re an asshole in love and you’re,” Javy pokes his chest, “just too scared to admit it.” 

“Yeah,” he nods, until he repeats what his friend said in his head and glares at Javy. “I hate you sometimes,” he throws a dart at the dart board, it lands way off base from the center. 

“Yeah, yeah.” 

Bob walks over to the two, glancing over Jake with a concerned expression. “Is he okay?” 

“Him? Oh, yeah. He’s fine.” 

“He’s nervous she’s gonna say no, huh?” 

Jake spins around, using a dart to point at Bob. “No, I’m not.” 

Javy leans closer to the WSO, “he’s in the denial stage.” 

“I can see that.” 

“You two are messing up my concentration. Go gossip about me somewhere else.” 

“You know,” Javy pats his shoulder, “it’s okay to be scared.” 

“I’m not scared,” he denies. 

“Lying is only gonna make this worse.” 

“Can it, Baby on Board.” 

Bob raises his hands, staring at the ground with a slight smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. 

“Your girl’s here,” Billy says, handing Javy a drink and Bob his beer nuts. 

Jake spins around just as the dart hits the center of the dart board. A boyish grin tugs at the corner of his mouth, “yes, she is.” He hands Bob the third dart, “have fun boys. Oh, and use protection, especially you,” he points to the WSO before talking off. 

“What?” 

“Ignore him. He’s in love, you know, it makes people do and say crazy things,” Javy assures Bob.

-

“Hey, gorgeous,” he greets you, placing a hand on your lower back. 

“Hey.” You turn around, leaning into him. You see the guys standing there, watching the two of you. “Are we gonna go say hi?” 

He shakes his head, “nope. Come on.” He leads you towards the walls, wanting to get away from the crowd, not lose you in it. 

“Where are we going?” 

“I want to go outside and see how much more beautiful you can look tonight.” 

You scoff, smacking his shoulder, “you can be such an adorable suck up.” 

“Only for you,” he pecks your lips, “did it work?” 

You roll your eyes, “shut up.” You grab his hand, pulling him along behind you. You happily wave over at the three, who return “cool” waves, except for Bob (he always waves back with just as much enthusiasm as you do to him). 

Jake shoves you out the door, letting it slam shut behind him. 

-

He pulls you back, spinning you around once, and wraps his arms around your waist. “Hi.” 

You can’t resist his charm and smile back at him, “hi.” 

“Let’s walk along the beach, yeah?” 

You nod, “if that’s what you want to do.” 

“Come on,” he tucks you into his side and starts walking. 

You begin to wonder what he has planned. Jake usually doesn’t like to walk along the beach at night (he can’t see your gorgeous face as he likes to say whenever you ask… which is always). 

You turn to look at him, he’s nervous but you can’t tell why. You know there’s nothing important coming up such as birthdays, holidays, or anniversaries. The kids haven’t been giving him too much of a hard time (it’s a tough process but they do seem to act like they like him when he comes over or when you all go out). 

You’re left even more confused than when you first exited the bar. 

He stops, staring out into the ocean. 

You watch him, curious as to what’s floating around in his head, “are you okay?” 

He turns his head looking at you, wondering how he got so lucky to have meet you and hoping you’ll say yes because he wants the married life with you and to be another parent figure that Maryanne and Edwin can look up too. He knows he wants to live out the rest of his life with you and the kids. Jake gulps, “you should ring me?” 

You jerk your head back, blinking owlishly at him, “what?” 

“We should rings.” He closes his eyes with a clenched jaw, shaking his head. 

You tilt your head, “are you feeling okay?” You place your hand on the back of his forehead. 

He nods, reaching into his pocket, pulling the box out of his pocket, practically shoving it in his face. 

You grab his wrist pulling it down, out of your face and look down, realizing what he’s planning to do. “Jake?” 

“I don’t know how to say it.” 

“What- uh- what do you want to do?” 

“I think it’s pretty obvious what I want to do.” 

“Okay, smart ass. Get down on one knee and ask me.” 

“That’s the thing. I can’t figure out how to ask you.” He bends down on one knee, “I’ve got too much running through my head. and I don’t know what to say. Then before I know words just start spewing out of my mouth.” 

You take a deep breath, placing your hands on his shoulders, “what’s the first thing that pops into your head when you think about wanting to marry me?” 

“I don’t want to marry you. I am gonna marry you. So,” he reaches for your left hand, placing a gentle kiss on top, “you can’t get rid of me easily.” 

An emotional chuckle escapes you, “what a sap you are.” 

“The first thing that pops into my head when I think about us being married is how there isn’t going to much of a difference because we’re already a family. But there is one thing I do know and that’s wanting to grow old with you. You know, I want us to be the older fun couple who still act like they did their first year of dating and I want to listen to your old lady problems.” 

You smack his shoulder. 

He chuckles, “while you listen to my old man issues.” 

“Something tells me there’s gonna be a lot.” 

“Let me finish then we can add the commentary later… I also want to be able to help with the kids more.” 

“You already do so much.” 

“I know but, I think it’s best if we don’t have a lunch issue 2.0.” 

You nod, wiping your cheeks, “that’s very true. You almost got kicked out. They called me to make sure you were who you said you were.” 

“I told them not to.” 

“Oh, yeah because that always goes well when a strange man they hadn’t actually seen before says “don’t call their mom”. Really, Jake? I mean honestly.”

- 

“Ask her already!” Javy, Bob, Natasha, Bradley, Pete, and Penny shout. 

You two turn to see some of the gang standing there, waiting for Jake to pop the question. 

“If you don’t do it tonight, you’re doing all my paperwork,” Pete shouts. 

“I already do.” 

“Yeah, well… then you’ll have more.” 

-

“Can you guys turn towards me a little?” Mickey asks, holding up his phone. “You’re gonna regret it, if you don’t.” 

You two do as he asked. 

“Perfect, thank you! And… propose.” 

-

“What are we in a movie or something? Geez,” you roll your eyes. 

“I’m gonna ask you now.” 

“Okay, shutting up now.” 

“Will you marry me?” 

“Can I think about it?” 

“What?” He asks with his eyes nearly popping out of his head. 

“I’m joking, you idiot. Of course, I will!” You throw your arms around his neck causing the two of you to fall back. 

The two of you start laughing. 

You push yourself off him, opting to lay on your side. 

“Oh shit.” 

“What?” 

“Where’s the ring?” 

“Right here,” answers Bradley, holding the ring box up for him. 

“Give it to me.” 

“No.” 

“Give it to me, chicken.” 

“See that, that right there is exactly why I won’t.” 

“I swear to-” 

“Shut up,” Natasha snatches the box from him and hands it to Jake. “Don’t be an idiot.” 

“I wasn’t,” Bradley pouts. 

“Sure, you weren’t.” 

Jake lifts your hand up and slides the ring on, kissing your knuckles. 

You give him an excited smile, wondering how you got so lucky and he’s doing the same. 

Your scooped up before you know it, squealing until you find yourself taller than everyone else. “Guys,” you giggle, “put me down.” 

“Nope,” a certain mustached man responds. 

“Nat? Help?” 

“Mickey’s getting a good shot of you up there,” she says, looking over said pilot’s shoulder.  

“We can do a better photoshoot tomorrow. Put me down.” 

“Can I have my fiancée back?” 

“After the old timer,” Penny pats Pete’s shoulder, “buys a round for everybody.” 

You all holler, shouting excitedly. 

-

“Not the whole bar, right?” Pete asks his girl. 

She smirks, “no, only a lucky few. I promise… as long as your phone doesn’t wind up on the bar top.” 

“You’re a cruel, cruel woman.” 

“I’ve gotta be stern when running a bar.” 

“I was hoping that wouldn’t apply to me.”  

-

“Alright, one round on the old man then we’re outta here,” Jake announces. 

Numerous “aw’s” and “boo’s” come his way. 

“We gotta go home and get the kids ready for school.” 

“Who knew Bagman could be such a softie?” Natasha adds. 

“You couldn’t have done this on a Saturday?” 

“Shut up, chicken.” 

“I’m just saying, you should have planned better.” 

“And we’re out of here.” 

-

You let out a soft chuckle, squeezing his hand as you two exit the bar. “Jake, I wanted to say by to everyone.” 

“I did too, but they pissed me off.” 

“You’re such an old man.” 

He lightly pushes you against the car door, “hey, I’m your old man, gorgeous.” 

You smirk, “that makes me your old lady?” 

“Or if you prefer, my gorgeous.” He kisses your cheek. 

“That’s a bit of an open ending, don’t you think?” 

“No because you can add anything you want to it.” 

“You’re such a sappy suck up,” you tell him before reaching up to peck his cheek. 

“Only for you.”

-

“I don’t know how they’re gonna react.” You glance over at the front door of your shared home. 

"We don’t have to get married right away.” 

You look over at him, “Jake…” 

“No,” he shakes his head. “It’s not just because of Maryanne and Edwin, alright. I want us to take our time and plan it. Invite the people we actually want to be there because I can tell you no one from my family would actually come. I mean, my sister might but… I want to make this a special day for us.” 

“I don’t want to argue about this, even though all I have to say is that I know whenever or wherever we have this wedding it will be special.” 

“Now who’s a sappy suck up,” he reaches over the middle console to cup your cheek. 

“What are we gonna do if the kids don’t accept this?” 

“We’ll figure it out. We always do.” 

“I don’t want you to be the one who’s hurt.” 

He shakes his head, “I won’t be. If I can be a part of their life in any other way, I’ll do it. And I get their hesitancy towards me. I do.” 

“I know you do and that’s so, so nice of you but you don’t deserve to be treated like this.” He rests his forehead against yours, “like I told you, I would do anything to be in their lives.” He pecks the corner of your mouth, “and yours.” 

Jake pulls back, staring into your eyes. His thumb brushes back and forth against your cheekbone. “Let’s go inside, yeah?” He knows he can only distract you from your worries for so long. 

You nod, not wanting to worry about this anymore. “Okay.” 

-

A month and a half ago…

The credits play across the screen. The sound is off because he muted the TV, wanting to talk to you. 

"It happened again," Jake sighs. 

You quietly groan to yourself, rubbing your face with both hands before slapping your thighs. You scoot yourself into an upright position, legs still resting in his lap, "I'm sorry, honey. I can talk to them again or-" 

"No, it's okay. I- uh-” He gulps, “I was thinking maybe I should go stay somewhere else for a few days." 

You shake your head, "no. No, absolutely not." 

He doesn’t say anything for a few minutes. "Our kids don’t care about me." 

You scoff through your nose, "they do. How could you ever think otherwise?" Your chest puffs out with every breath you take, your vision blurs as tears pool in your water line. 

He cups your cheeks, "they're not going to warm up to me because they think I'm trying to replace their deadbeat dumbass of a father, or they think I’m gonna be exactly like him and leave. They’re not ready to trust me." 

"They know you’re not trying to replace him," you weakly argue. 

"You could be right, but they won't listen to you because you’re mom." 

You sniff, "please, don’t leave." 

"I'm doing this to save yours and the kids relationship." 

"You staying here and being a part of the kids’ lives hasn't changed that." 

"But it will." 

This is it. It feels like it’s the end of your relationship, but you know it’s not. You refuse to believe that you two won’t find your way back to one another and have a better improved relationship with yourself and the kids. His bag falls to the ground. 

-

You take a step forward and rest your head on his shoulder, silently crying into his shirt, bunching it in your clenched fists, "Jake…" 

He shushes you, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you closer. His hand finds its way up to its rightful resting place, cupping your cheek, "hey, look at me. Look at me please.” 

You lift your head up, with wet cheeks. 

His thumb sweeps across your cheek, wiping away your tears, “you know I love you, right?" 

You don’t think you’ve ever heard him sound so emotional (except for when he told you about his past and his family, the day he asked to marry you, when he repeated what you said about moving in, and the first time he said I love you). "Course I do.” You lean in closer, whispering, “I love you so much." 

It feels like you’re sharing a secret (which you are about Jake’s departure… from the kids for the time being). 

"I'll text you when I make it to my place." 

You nod, "okay." 

Jake leans down, kissing you, reminding you of how much he loves you. He takes a step back, one hand on your back as he leans over to grab his bag. 

You two stare at one another with tears in your eyes (yes, even Jake’s on the verge of crying- or maybe he already is but your own tear-filled eyes blur your vision, preventing you from seeing so). 

His hand slides off your back after he opens the door. He steps outside, feeling like a stranger on the porch of his own home. Jake tries to walk away before things could get even more depressing. 

You reach out, hand squeezing his bicep, silently pleading for him to stay. “Be careful?” 

The corner of his lips tug upward into a farewell cocky smirk, “always am, gorgeous. Always am.” 

You watch as he gets in his car and wave him off (breaking your hearts into a million pieces). 

Jake disappears from you view and you stand there for a few seconds, unwilling to move because if you do, you’ll be home alone… you’ll be alone. 

You close the door, resting your forehead on the wooden frame. Your shoulders shake as you struggle to keep your cries quiet. You raise your hand, covering your mouth; whimpers escape you before you can even try and stop them. 

As much as you don’t want to, you make your way to your bedroom. You swear you hear your heart break when you walk in. It doesn’t look like much has changed but you know if you open your dresser drawers and check the closet, his clothes won’t be there. You won’t be able to admire his uniform or shake your head at the way he organizes his sock and underwear drawer. 

You try to not to think about the little things you’ll miss while taking of your shoes. You lay down on your side, bending your legs, curling into yourself. 

After about an hour of laying down, you text Penny. 

SoonToBeMrs.S 

Hey Pen Sent Read 1:58pm 

PickaPenny 

Are you alright? You only say my name when something’s happened Sent Read 2:00pm 

SoonToBeMrs.S

All good here. Can you pick up Maryanne and Edwin? Sent Read 2:00pm 

PickaPenny

You got it. Sent Read 2:01pm 

PickaPenny typing… 

-

“What are you doing here?” 

Jake turns around, his shoulders sag, “needed a drink.” 

“Why am I getting a text from your fiancé about picking up the kids?” asks Penny. 

He gulps, “I- uh- I’m gonna be out of the house for a while.” 

“Oh, I didn’t hear you were deployed.” 

“I’m not.” 

The bar owner looks back at him after giving another customer her drink. “What did you do?” 

“I didn’t do anything.” 

“Did you break it off with her?” 

“No, God no. Penny I-” 

“You what?” 

“I’m doing this to save the family relationship.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“The kids don’t like me.” 

“I don’t think that’s true.” 

“They don’t listen to a thing I say and when I pick them up from school, they don’t talk to me.” 

“Have you tried talking to them?” 

“Of course, I have.” 

“No, no. Not ask them questions, talk to them about the whole situation?” 

“I’ve tried but they won’t put in the effort to listen. And, yeah, I know they’re kids and that’s how they are, but I want them to know that I’m not trying to replace their bio dad and I want them to stop thinking I’ll leave ‘em just like he did. I just- I can’t get through to them. And I’m not going to be the reason they hate their mom for marrying someone they don’t like. I grew up that way. My mom married someone we weren’t all huge fans of, and he didn’t care. He never tried to talk to us, not even after mom died.” 

“Jake-” 

He takes out his wallet, setting a few bills down. “Don’t tell her you saw me.” 

“Fine,” she sighs. “Can you at least tell me where you’re staying?” 

“I’ll be crashing on Coyote’s couch for a few days.” 

“And then?” He shrugs, “see you around Penny.”  

-

You open your eyes, glancing over your shoulder to see Penny standing there, and jolt. “Jeez!” 

“Sorry, hon. I tried to be gentle, but you wouldn’t budge.” 

You push yourself up, “sorry. I take it since you’re here, you picked the kids up?” 

“No, I left them to run the bar.” 

“You’ve been hanging out with Pete for too long. His- whatever is rubbing off on you.” 

She scoffs, “oh, please. If anything, it’s me making him less of an old man.” She sits down beside your legs, rubbing your knee in a comforting manner. “I saw him earlier.” 

You don’t say anything, your eyes shift downwards. 

“He looked really upset.” 

“Did he?” 

“He already misses you and the kids.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Don’t give me that fake “I don’t care attitude”. I know you’re upset he’s gone but it’s not like you won’t see him. He just doesn’t want to come between you, Maryanne, or Edwin but he still cares about all of you and wants to help out.” 

You wrap your arms around your abdomen, “I know that.” 

“Why can’t you two talk it out?” 

“I’ve tried to have us talk but no one wants to listen.” 

“Okay, okay. Breathe.” 

“I am but- it’s all gotten so complicated.”

-

Penny leaves before dinner time. 

You finish preparing their plates, setting them on the dining table. “You two start eating, I’ve got to make sure my makeshift office space is ready after dinner.” 

“Where’s Jake? We always have dinner together,” says Edwin. 

You freeze, handing the two their utensils. “Oh- um- he’s got- he got caught up with work and won’t be here for a little while.” 

“Is he gonna be, okay?” Maryanne asks. 

You slowly stand up, giving them a sad smile, “yeah, yeah, he is.” You exit the kitchen. 

-

“Is mama not gonna eat with us since Jake’s gone?” Edwin asks his sister. 

“I don’t know, Eddie. I don’t like this.” 

“Same.” 

“After dinner we can watch a movie. Maybe mama won’t be so busy.” 

He nods, “okay.” 

“Go pick a movie.” Maryanne pushes her brother towards the living room and realizes what she said. “No Ice Age!” 

“Ice Age is a good movie!” 

-

A knock on your door gets you moving faster, you pat your face dry, hoping the bloodshot look will go away soon. “Come in, Maryanne.” 

“How did you know it was me?” 

“You and your brother have very different knocks.” 

“Obviously if you can tell who’s who when we knock. Do you want- were you crying?” 

“No, what makes you say that?” 

“Your eyes are puffy. Is it because of Jake? Did he make you cry?” 

You chuckle, “no, sweetheart.” 

“Well, then where is he?” 

“I told you; he has a few work things he needs to do.”

“If he’s leaving like dad just tell me, I can handle it.” 

You swoop her into a hug after seeing the way her bottom lip quivers. You take a step back, sitting on the edge of your bed. “No, no, no. He’s not leaving. He’s just- he doesn’t want to- he says he wants us to have a better relationship with one another.” 

“We already do.” 

“You think so?” 

She nods. 

You sweep the hair covering her eyes out of her way, “what do you think of him?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Do you like him?” 

“I… yeah.” 

“Do you not like, Jake?” 

“He’s nice and tries...” 

“Can I ask you why you two are hesitant on letting him into our life?” 

She doesn’t say anything. 

“Do you think he’s gonna be like your dad?” 

“I don’t want him to leave,” says Edwin from your bedroom door. 

You open your other arm, giving him room to squeeze in. “Did you like him?” 

“We both do.” 

“Eddie!” 

“I’m tired of you not telling mama what you mean. We both like him.” 

“You do?” 

He nods, “uh-huh. But we don’t want him to be like dad.” 

“Oh, he wouldn’t-” 

“Where is he now?” 

“...He’s giving us space because he thinks you don’t like him.” 

“We do!” He bounces around, “we do! Call him. Make him come home.” 

“We can’t make him come home, if he doesn’t want to,” Maryanne points out. “Can we call him tomorrow?” 

“We’ll see.” 

“Can we watch Ice Age now?” You chuckle, “I’m not leaving you alone with Jake again. He’s corrupted your movie likes and dislikes.” 

The kids run out of your room. 

You change into something a little comfier before exiting the room. 

Maybe there is light at the end of this tunnel. 

-

Edwin was the first to fall asleep, you went out next, leaving your little girl to be the sole survivor. 

She grabs her phone off the side table, going to her camera app. She angles herself closer and takes a selfie with the three of you. 

LittleDarlin 

*image* Miss you Sent Read 8:39pm. 

Jake puts his shirt on, checking his phone before winding down for bed. His heart starts to race a little when he sees it’s from his little girl. He opens the message and his heart melts. 

SouthernSavior 

Miss you too, darlin Sent Read 8:41pm. 

Shouldn’t you be asleep? Sent Read 8:42pm. 

LittleDarlin

Eddie put Ice Age on Sent Read 8:42pm. 

SouthernSavior

 Not a good excuse. Go to bed Sent Read 8:43pm. 

LittleDarlin typing… Can you come home? Deleted 

LittleDarlin

Night Jake Sent Read 8:45pm. 

SouthernSavior 

Night darlin Sent Read 8:45pm. 

Before Jake turns his phone off and puts it on the charger, he sets the photo as his lockscreen. 

-

Three days later…

A knock on the front door alerts you. 

You’re confused until you realize it’s a school day and pop out of bed, running out of your room. You check their rooms, finding neither of them there. “Not in the living room or kitchen,” you gasp. “The kitchen.” 

-

You run in, seeing your kids putting their dishes in the sink. “Was no one going to wake me up?” 

“You know Jake takes us to school,” Maryanne argues. 

“He does but with everything that’s going on, I didn’t know what we were gonna do.” 

“I’m still on school duty.” 

You scream, jumping just about ten feet in the air. You bring your hand up, placing it on your chest, “don’t. Do. That.” 

“I have to get your heart pumping somehow,” he answers you with that damn cocky smirk you’ve grown to love. 

“Yeah, and I can send you to work with a foot up your a-s-s.” 

“We can spell,” your daughters chimes in. 

“Pretend you can’t.” 

“Come on, d- Jake. Let’s go before we’re late.” 

The two try to walk past you, until you clear your throat. 

“What?” 

“Hug your mother, kids,” he says, standing beside you. 

Edwin rolls his eyes and sighs in a joking way before launching himself into your arms. 

Maryanne walks over to give you a quick hug before dragging her brother outside behind her. 

-

Jake hesitates to place his hand on your lower back. 

You turn, almost automatically curling into him. “Hey there, sailor.” 

“Still not a sailor but, hello to you too, gorgeous.” 

“Can we talk later?” 

“Is it a good talk or a bad talk?” 

“Depends, are you gonna listen to me or not?” 

“When don’t I listen to you?” 

You arch your brow. 

“Fine, I’ll listen.” He walks to the door when you remember something. 

“Oh, wait! Edwin has early day today.” 

“What time?” 

“Like Thursday.” 

He quietly groans to himself, “I won’t be able to pick him up.” 

“It’s okay. I planned on picking him up anyway. I just wanted you to know so you’re not sitting and waiting at the school for too long.” 

“Are you always this thoughtful?” 

There it is again. You give him a sarcastic smile, “are you always a pain in my ass?” 

“I’d like to think otherwise.” 

“In other words, yes.” 

“If that’s what you want to call me then fine.” 

A car honk alerts the two of you. 

“I gotta go. I’ll see you later, yeah?” 

“You can count on it. Bye, Jake.” You lean up and peck him on the lips. You aim to head back into the kitchen when you’re pulled back. 

He cups your cheek, pulling you closer, “is this, okay?” 

“I’d say it’s more than okay.” 

The corner of his mouth tugs upwards, “knew you could never resist me.” 

“Shut up and kiss me.” 

“Yes ma’am.” His other hand wraps around your waist, bringing you closer to him. 

You place your hands on his arms, one hand slides along his shoulders, stopping at the base of his neck. You scratch the back of his neck near the edge of his hairline. 

He slightly shivers pulling back; he pecks your pink, wet, and swollen lips. “I gotta go drop them off,” his voice comes out hoarse and quiet. 

You nod, “mmhmm.” 

“You can kiss later! We’ve gotta go or we’ll be late!” 

You cover your mouth, hiding your laughter. “You heard the girl.” 

“Hey, I didn’t start this whole thing.” 

“Neither did I.” 

“Let’s call it a truce and you go take the kids to school.” 

“I’ll see you later.” 

“Bye, hon.” 

“Bye, gorgeous.” 

-

You and Edwin do his homework before you put on a movie (yes, Ice Age) for him. You turn your head to see the mess in the backyard. 

You sigh, getting up off the couch to clean it up. You were doing good, making a lot of progress until you didn’t. 

You fall, landing on your shoulder. You know you’re screwed, the pain radiating in your arm is too much, but you can’t freak out because your baby boy will freak out which won’t solve anything. 

You push yourself off the ground (with great difficulty) and enter the house. 

“Eds,” you whisper, sitting beside him with your arm close to you. 

“Yeah?” he asks, slightly distracted by the movie. 

“Can you call Aunt Penny for me and hold the phone to my ear?” 

“Why?” 

“I fell.” 

“Are you okay?!” 

You shush him, “breathe, sweetheart. Breathe.” 

“Where’s your phone? Where’s your phone?” 

“Look at the table beside you.” 

“Okay, Penny… Penny… Aunt Penny? Mom wants to talk to you.” He holds the phone against your ear. 

“Pen? Hey… can you come over and drive me to the emergency room? I fell and broke something.”  

-

Jake rushes into the emergency center, frantically searching for you with Maryanne holding his left hand. He stops when he sees Penny waving, letting him know where you and Edwin are. 

He rushes over to the two of you while the poor little girl is being yanked over to your bed. He makes sure Maryanne can hold your hand and get close to you before he sets his hand on top of your head. “Are you okay?” 

“I will be if I can get out of here.” 

He checks over you, stopping when he sees your arm resting across your stomach, “what happened?” 

“I was in the backyard cleaning up-” 

“I told you I would do it.” 

“Yeah, and that was before you…” you trail off unsure of how to say it without making it sound mean, ‘before you left,’ yeah, not the nicest thing to say ever. 

“You could have called me. No, you should have called me.” 

You open your mouth to respond when Penny moves the kids away from the bed, having them sit in the seats (she grabbed earlier) giving you two more room to talk. 

He reaches down for your hand without looking, letting you squeeze his hand, knowing you aren’t taking any of the morphine or other pain medication (because you don’t like how you feel afterwards). He leans down, letting you turn your head into his chest, “why didn’t you call me?” 

“I didn’t know.” 

“Didn’t know what?” 

You look up at him through your wet lashes, blinking repeatedly so you can see him. “I didn’t know how we were. After this morning-” 

“Hey, hey.” He brushes the few loose strands that cover your face back, “we are never gonna change.” He pecks your forehead before turning around. 

-

He takes a step closer to Penny, whispering, “can you take them somewhere else? Ice cream? Hospital cafeteria? Wherever. I don’t want them to see their mom in anymore pain. I know, Eddie is gonna have a hard time when we get home but I’m not letting them see any more of this.” He pulls out his wallet. 

She places her hands on his stopping him, “you don’t need to do that. I’ve got it besides I’ve been wanting to show them a few shells I found the other day.” 

He lets out a breath of relief, “thank you.” 

“You can thank me by taking care of your wife.” She turns around, facing the two. “Come on, kids. We’re gonna go back to Aunt Penny’s place and look at the few seashells I found, and we can prank Pete. How’s that sound?” 

“We don’t want to leave our mom, Aunt Penny,” Maryanne whispers to the older woman. 

“I know but Jake thinks it would be smart if you two aren’t stuck in the emergency center for hours.” 

The young girl glances over at the two of you, watching how Jake is consoling you and trying to distract you from the pain. She looks back at Penny and nods, “okay. Can we text Jake and ask him when we can go home?” 

“Of course, we can,” she holds her hands out for the two to hold. 

Maryanne looks back to see nothing but love between the two of you. Maybe she was wrong, maybe Jake won’t be like her dad. 

He came just seconds after Penny called him and made sure that both of them could see and touch you. 

She feels bad for how she’s been treating him and knows what she needs to do.

-

“You should have called me,” he whispers into your hair. 

“I wanted to.” 

“Why didn’t you? You know I would have been there in a second. Well, maybe not a second but,” he smirks but you can see the worry on his face. 

You scoff, rolling your eyes, “don’t make me hit you.” 

He hums, “it seems to me like you can’t.” 

“I can do other things.” 

“Oh, yeah. Like what?” 

“Well, if I tell you then it won’t be a surprise.” 

He sticks his bottom lip out, “come on, you know you want to tell me.” 

“No, I really don’t.”

-

Jake hasn’t removed his arm from around your waist since you were released (after texting Penny). 

“You can let go now.” 

“I gotta make sure my girl is taken care of.” 

“You are by making sure I can get to my car.” 

“That was never the plan because that’s a, dangerous and b, penny took your car remember. Seems like you’re stuck with me, gorgeous.” 

“Jake,” you start, ready to complain. 

“No, no. Don’t give me that attitude. I’m making sure you get home back to the kids safely. End of story.” 

You say nothing as he opens the door for you, letting you take your time getting the car. 

Once your seated, he helps you with your seatbelt before running to the back, grabbing a pillow to place under your arm (that’s in a secure sling) but that doesn’t stop him. 

The drive back to the house was quiet, at least, between the two of you, there was music softly playing filling some of the silence.

-

He jogs around to the other side of car, opening the door. He reaches in to unbuckle the seatbelt. 

You scoot to the edge of the seat, swinging your legs out of the car. Jake holds his hand out for you to take. You slap your hand on his, “I’m gonna need a little help getting out. Take the pillow, first.” 

He carefully removes the pillow, tossing it to the driver’s seat. He lets you push yourself out before he wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you closer. 

You take a deep breath, staring at his collarbone (since your eye level with it), your eyes slowly trail up his neck, past his jawline and cheekbone. 

It feels like you’ve lost your breath as you stare into his eyes, reminding you of when you two first started dating. 

He moves your hand onto his shoulder before sliding his other arm to your waist, pulling you closer to hug you. He rests his head on your shoulder before tucking his head into the crook of your neck. 

You slide your hand across his shoulder, stopping at his neck, brushing your thumb vertically against the base of his hair, feeling the top of his spinal cord. 

The two of you wet the others shoulder with your salty, relief ridden tears. 

He pulls back, staring at you without wiping his cheeks. 

You reach up and wipe away his tears. 

He does the same for you. “Let’s get you inside, yeah?” He removes one arm to close the car door, locking it right after. 

-

He unlocks the front door, gently shoving you inside, following after you. 

You let out a quiet breath of relief, you were scared he was going to leave after hugging you. 

The kids run out of the living room, stopping in front of you. 

You bend down, letting them hug your good side with Jake telling them to be careful and not tug your neck. 

Maryanne steps away from you, telling Jake to bend down. She wraps her arms around his neck, giving him a hug. 

Edwin does the same. 

You wipe your cheeks, not wanting to cry even though this is what you’ve been waiting for.

-

Three months later...

Maryanne stands in front of you, “mama?” 

“Yeah, baby?” You turn to look at her, seeing how she looks down at the ground. You furrow your brows, “what’s wrong? Are you feeling, okay?” You place the back of your hand on her forehead. She pulls your hand away from her forehead and shakes her head. “Did you break something?” 

“No... I want to do something for Jake.” 

You nod, smiling (happy to know no one’s hurt or sick). “Okay, like what?” 

“I- we want to do something for him for… Father’s Day.” 

The smile slowly falls from your face, “oh,” you gulp. “Did you two have something in mind? And know that just because we’re getting married doesn’t mean that you have to do anything. I know we’ve had a hard time adjusting with one another,” you move the few strands of hair that fell off her face. “He would be happy with anything whether we do something or not.” 

She pouts, “I know but we want him to know that we like him and- and that we want him to be our dad.” 

“And how do you plan on doing that?” 

“Can he adopt us?” 

You lift your hand up, covering your mouth, shocked at her surprising request. 

“Mama?” 

You shake your head, blinking your eyes rapidly to prevent the tears from falling. You wrap your arms around her shoulders pulling her in for a tight hug. “Oh, my sweet girl.” You detach yourself from her, holding her by her shoulders, “that is more than okay, sweetheart. And you’re sure this is something you and Edwin want?” 

She nods as a smile tugs at the corners of her lips. 

“We should start now if we want it ready by then huh?”

-

The wedding was a small one with only Jake’s fellow pilots, WSO’s, and other navy members invited. You both invited his sister, but she was pregnant with baby number four and was unable to fly over.

She was kind enough to call and say that she and her husband would drive over, but it’d take too long for them to arrive. You assured her that it was okay, and she would be missed (you were so close to getting to hear embarrassing stories about pre-pilot Jake).

You didn’t let Jake see you before the wedding (much to his displeasure).

You walk down the aisle with Penny and Amelia walking you down the aisle. When you asked the girls, it easily became one of the most emotional moments when it came to planning the wedding, but you have no regrets (even if the few photos of you three walking down the aisle were of the Benjamin girls crying the entire time).

It was something else when you two were married by Pete.

And, of course, Maryanne was the most adorable flower girl ever making sure used all the petals in her basket and Edwin was a handsome ring bearer.

Thank God you didn’t assign anyone with this task because when Mickey and Logan were asking you a while ago, they showed you the website where you could rent a bear. Of course, this was a joke… you hoped anyway but they did redeem themselves by helping out with all the guy’s suits (after giving them the “mom” look).

Almost everyone- that’s a lie, everyone was crying, no matter how hard you tried not to, you did.

The water works got worse when Jake gave his vows. The man may be cocky as hell, but the man knows when to put his heart and soul into something.

-

Jake could barely keep his hands to himself when Pete said, “you may now kiss the bride.”

“More like devour the bride,” Bradley mutters. Jake pulls back, needing air, knowing you need the same.

“Can it chicken, you’re just jealous.”

The mustache man scoffs, prepared to say something else when Javy pulls him off to the side, handing him a drink. “To the happy couple!”

Javy and Bradley are the first to raise a glass. “To the happy couple!”

-

“To my stunning and gorgeous wife,” he whispers in your ear.

“And to my charmingly cocky husband.”

“I see how it is. I compliment you and you insult me.”

“It’s all part of my charm.”

“You weren’t this mean when we first started going out.”

“I didn’t want to show you my dark side.”

“Sure, you didn’t.”

“Okay, enough you two,” Penny takes your drinks from you two, “it’s time for the first dance.”

You let out a dramatic sigh, “if we must.”

“Prepare to have your heels knocked off your feet.”

You place your hand on his shoulder, “play on the usual phrase, I see you’ve been studying with Edwin.”

He smirks, “’course I have. I wanted to impress you.”

“Oh,” you chuckle, “impress me? I see.”

“No more talking, more dancing.”

-

The song ends and you feel light tugging and look down to find your babies standing there.

“Looks like it’s time for family’s first dance,” DJ Bob announces, adding airhorns.

“I’m never letting baby on board DJ for us again.”

“Oh, c’mon, he’s doing good. Leave him be,” you tell your husband.

“This is a special request coming from the shortest guy here this evening and no, I’m not talking about Fanboy.”

Reuben, Natasha, and Billy cover their mouths to prevent them from spitting out their drinks.

Pete, Penny, Amelia, and Callie shake their heads.

Logan and Bradley shake their heads.

Javy and Bringham hold Mickey back from going after a power-hungry DJ Bob and Neil grabs the camera before the photographer of the evening, can drop it.

An Ice Age remix comes through the speakers and you three look down at Edwin, who innocently shrugs, “what?”

You and Jake glance back at one another and shake your heads, dancing until your feet begin to hurt.

-

Javy and Bob help back the car with wedding presents while Jake puts the kids in the back, letting them get comfortable and fall asleep.

-

“Thank you, boys.” 

Javy gives you a rare, sweet smile, “anything for the newly Mrs. Seresin.”

Your lips quickly tug into an upward smile, “I haven’t heard that yet.”

“It feel weird?” “You know what? It doesn’t.”

“What doesn’t?” The man of the hour asks.

“Nothing.”

“And… we’re done. You two ready to go?” Bob interrupts.

“We are. Are one of you driving the car back to our place?”

“No, we’re gonna leave it here for the racoons to rip open and bring to you later tomorrow.”

“Just because you’re Jake’s friend, doesn’t mean that I won’t hesitate to kick your ass, Machado.”

Your husband wraps an arm around your waist pulling you back, “okay and that’s enough excitement for one day.”

“We’ll see you two there.”

Bob waves to you with his usual, adorable smile dancing across his lips.

-

You wave back before Jake holds you against the passenger door. “How do you feel?”

“Like I’m walking on air, husband of mine.”

“Glad to know I’m not the only one. Let’s go home.”  

-

The day after the wedding…

You and Jake sit beside one another on the couch, looking through your wedding album, taking a break from opening presets.

“Aw,” you point to the photo Maryanne sent him a while ago. “When did we take this?”

“Our little darlin’ sent me this when we were- uh-” Jake scratches the back of his head, “away from each other.”

“Oh… why didn’t you ever show me this? Send it to me.”

“Can I never have a cute family photo for myself?”

You sigh, “I suppose you can.”

He shakes his head, “don’t you be trying to guilt trip me now, gorgeous.”

“Me? Guilt trip you, never.” You flip to another page, “wow!”

“Guess the kid is as good with a camera on the ground like he is in the air.”

“Yeah, I’ll say. We are so using him for the kid’s birthdays.”

You can feel the vibrations of him chuckling behind you.

“Guess that means we save a few bucks.”

“Don’t tell me now that we’re married, you’re going cheap on me.”

He scoffs, “never… I just didn’t expect Fanboy to be so good.”

“Wow, no wonder he was hesitant to ask me.” You shake your head, setting the album on the table and see the last gift on the table is the big one. “This one is from the kids, but we have to wait until they wake up.”

“What?” Jake whines.

“Please,” you plead.

“Fine, fine. Stop giving me those “sex” eyes.”

You scoff, “I am not giving you “sex” eyes. If anyone is giving those eyes, it’s you.”

“Wow!”

“I know, it sucks when your words come back to bite you in the ass, right?”

“I know something else that can bite you in the ass.”

“God! We just got married and it’s like you’ve become ten times hornier within twenty-four hours.”

“You just have that effect on me, gorgeous.”

-

“Did he open it yet?” Maryanne asks, scaring the shit out of you two.

You and Jake scream, the latter lets out an oof. “What happened? Are you okay?”

He shakes his head, holding his stomach, “no.”

You cringe, realizing what you did. “Oh, honey. I’m sorry, are you okay?”

“My poor, beautiful abs.”

You scoff, smacking his arm, “you’re fine.” You turn to look at the kids, “and no he did not. I wanted you two to be here with us.”

They run over to the couch, sitting on each side of him.

You grab the rectangular, thin box, handing it to him.

“You not gonna help me with this one?”

You shake your head, trying to hide your smile, “no, this one’s all you, honey.”

He narrows his eyes at you before looking back at the gift, ripping the gift open. He tosses the box to the side, holding a large manilla envelope. He stares at it with furrowed brows, “what-”

“Just open it,” you tell him.

He carefully opens it, pulling out the document. He starts to read it, “what-” his voice cracks. Jake scoots forward, setting everything on the coffee table so he can cover his eyes.

“Aw, honey,” you start.

The kids stare at you with wide eyes, unsure if this is a good reaction or not. They scoot off the couch, standing in front of him, wrapping their arms around his shoulders.

He returns the gesture. “I know we had a hard time gettin to know each other in the beginning,” he lifts his head, staring back and forth between the two, “but did you two really have to make a grown man cry?”

“We made you cry?” Your daughter asks.

“You should have been worried if I didn’t cry.”

“Fair point.”

You rub the back of his shoulder.

He looks back at you, “how long have you known about this?”

“Too long. I’m just happy your late/ early Father’s Day gift finally made its way to you."

“This is a- okay, new rule, give the old man a little warning so I have time to prepare myself.”

“Nah,” you shake your head, “this is better. We get the raw emotions.”

“Shut up,” he shoves your thigh.

You smile, leaning back against the couch.

“Let’s a movie… not Ice Age,” he pulls Edwin closer, “whispering”, “we’ll watch it when the girls aren’t here.”

The young boy nods, giggling, “okay.”

Maryanne settles in on your side with Jake on your left, an arm wrapped around your shoulders and Edwin on his left.

“Oh, wait. We need popcorn,” says your daughter.

“Let’s go.” Edwin pulls her into the kitchen, preparing the movie snacks.

-

He pulls you closer. 

“I told you they like you.”

He doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, “okay, maybe you were right.”

“I was so right, darlin.”

“Look at you trying to copy my accent.”

“Honey, I pull that accent off better than you.”

“Oh, is that how we’re playing it?”

“You bet.”

“How about we cut this competition short?”

“Oh, yeah. How’s that-”

He cups your cheek, pulling you in for a kiss.

“We’re done- ew!”

You can’t help but smile as you two part from one another.

“Alright, kids. Settle in,” he tells them.

They return to their previous seats.

You rest your head against his shoulder.

This is exactly how you pictured it, the family life with Jake.  

-

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