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selfcarecap · 6 months ago

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Lip Gloss [A.D.]

Art Donaldson x reader (x Patrick Zweig)

summary: Art loves when you kiss him while wearing lip gloss and it gets all over his own lips. What he loves even more is when you get on your knees for him and he ends up with lip gloss stains all over another certain body part of his.

warnings: smut 18+ (oral m receiving, fingering f receiving, handjob, reader and Art have sex next to Patrick who is asleep but they have permission, submissive-ish!Art, a bit of voyeurism from Patrick – he doesn’t ask but for the sake of this fic we’re assuming consent bc it’s fictional, m masturbation, spitting, cum eating, pet names: good boy, baby, reader says Art is ‘wet like a girl’), feminine Art (so dare I say canon Art🙂‍↕️) or at least he likes lip gloss lol, Art and Patrick are college roommates – attraction heavily implied between all three of them but only Art and reader are in a relationship, this was supposed to just be a drabble lol there’s no plot just porn, also i’m kinda intimidated by the challengers fandom lol idk but anyway here's my first challengers fic sddslkh <3

word count: 3.4k | gorgeous divider by @dollywons

When you first start dating Art, you always apologise for wearing lipgloss when you’re kissing him. You always wipe it off his lips after a kiss, pulling your sleeves over your hands to get it off his mouth. You’ve heard that guys don’t like it, but you like wearing lipgloss and Art has never complained.

When you get more comfortable around him, you don’t always wipe the gloss off his lips, letting him do it himself. But he only does it because he feels like it’s what he’s supposed to do. Guys aren’t supposed to like the feeling of lip gloss. He’s probably supposed to tell you it’s annoying and ask you to stop wearing lip gloss, at least when you’re with him.

But he doesn’t want to control you, and he doesn’t want you to stop wearing lip gloss. He just wants you to stop apologising for it.

“You don’t have to say sorry,” he tells you every time with a smile, but you still do it.

“I know it’s sticky. I won’t put any more on tonight, don’t worry.” Art stops himself from pouting at your words.

And yes, Art once applied the lip gloss that you left on his nightstand. He was missing you and the lip gloss was the closest thing to you that he had. He ran into the bathroom when Patrick came home, wiping it off furiously before his best friend could see.

He likes keeping a shirt of yours at his place so that he can smell you even when you’re not there, but what he likes even more is to apply your lip gloss. It’s just a thin layer, but it makes him feel like he’s been freshly kissed by you. There’s nothing wrong with that, and there’s definitely no reason he does it other than to feel closer to you.

You’re getting ready for the birthday of a friend one night. You’ll be going to a bar for a bit, nothing big. But you’re doing your make-up on Art’s bed with him sitting behind you, hands on your hips.

“You look so pretty.”

He says those words for every step of your routine. He wants you to know how beautiful you are no matter how much or how little make-up you’re wearing, even if it’s cheesy. Art grins when you show him the finished look, and his eyes stay stuck on your glossy lips, tinted a dark pink, almost red colour.

He knows you can’t resist it when he looks at you like that, he never can when it’s the other way around either, so you press a kiss to his lips. Art knows that you’ll be wiping the sticky gloss off as soon as the kiss is over, so he deepens it to keep the feeling of lip gloss on him, even though Patrick is sitting in the bed right next to you.

Knowing him, he’s probably staring and enjoying it; Art wouldn’t be surprised if he heard the sound of Patrick’s phone camera going off.

You smile against Art as you part your lips for him, trying but not quite managing to bring yourself to stop kissing him yet. You have to physically take Art’s chin between your fingers and push his face away from you to stop. And yet, you give in again immediately, peppering his face in kisses before you pull away for good.

You give Patrick an apologetic smile, even though you both know he doesn’t mind you and Art making out next to him. By the time you look back at Art, he’s already wiping at the lip gloss stains all over his face. Your cheeks heat up when you realise how many marks you’ve made on him. You forgot you put on a darker and more pigmented lip gloss than normal.

“Wait,” you giggle, pulling away Art’s hand that’s already trying to wipe the sticky gloss away, “I’ll bring you a wipe.”

“Doesn’t he look pretty like that?” Patrick comments before you have a chance to get up. Art throws a pillow at him.

You look between them, at Art’s face littered with shiny, sticky stains. His lips are especially dark and shiny, as if you just put some lip gloss right on there, albeit a bit messily.

“Of course he’s pretty like this,” you say, not looking away from Art.

“Then just leave him like that, he likes it.”

“I don’t,” Art defends much too fast, and Patrick laughs. Art reaches for his pillow to throw at Patrick but remembers he already did. He’s about to stand up to go to the bathroom and get a stupid wipe himself, but you grip his t-shirt and he sits back down.

“It’s okay if you like it, baby. It’s hot that you do,” you try to whisper the last part, and pull him in by his t-shirt to kiss him again, “Let me clean you up, and I’ll put some lip gloss on you properly.”

“Only cause you think it’s hot,” Art calls after you weakly.

Patrick laughs again.

“Shut up.”

Art shyly tries to catch a glimpse of his face in the mirror.

You sit back down in front of him, gently cleaning his face. You hold out the lip gloss afterwards, placing a hand on his face to apply it, the wet pop sounding when you undo the lid.

“Wait,” Art leans back abruptly, as if you’re about to hurt him, “I want it from your lips.”

You huff, smiling at him. You apply some more lipgloss to your own lips, taking your boyfriend’s face to give him a kiss to his pursed lips. You apply more and kiss him again. You both smile at the oddly innocent kiss – pursed lips against pursed lips.

You wipe away the excess over Art’s cupid’s bow, grinning at his shiny, sticky lips.

“You look so pretty, baby,” you tell your boyfriend, and he blushes.

“Show me,” Patrick says, leaning forward to see Art from the front. Art turns his head away from his best friend, red up to the tips of his ears now.

“Show him, baby,” you coax, reaching out for his chin to turn his head. You know Patrick likes to make jokes, but not when his best friend is like this – eyes like those of a puppy, genuinely embarrassed.

It doesn’t have to mean anything, but Art has made it such a big deal in his head that he can’t like having your lipgloss on his lips that Patrick knows he needs encouragement right now. Patrick moves to sit at the edge of the bed to look at Art better. “Look at you, Artie, all pretty. Looks almost as good as on your girlfriend.”

You roll your eyes – you should’ve known he can’t be fully serious.

“You have to leave now, you’re already late,” Art reminds you, and you let him press another kiss to your lips. You’ll have to clean up the mess he’s made on your mouth on the way, but you don’t mind. You watch him enjoy the feeling of the sticky gloss on his lips a few more seconds before he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

You and Patrick share a look, rolling your eyes, and you blow a kiss to Art before you close the door.

You come back home early, before midnight. The birthday girl left to go see her boyfriend halfway through her own birthday party, so you’re back at Art and Patrick’s dorm. You’d be annoyed at your friend if you didn’t have your own boyfriend to go visit.

Patrick is already lightly snoring when Art opens the door for you – he’s in nothing but boxers – and you know what that means.

Patrick has given you two permission to do whatever you want while he’s asleep, as long as you’re quiet. You’ve always wondered if it’s a tactic to secretly listen in on you and Art having sex, knowing that you would’ve otherwise never done it with him in the room.

Art has a small light on next to his bed, and you join him on his mattress. A few leftover glitter particles sparkle on his lips, and you pull his face closer to yours.

“Suits you so well, Artie. So pretty.” You swipe your finger over his bottom lip. He kisses it, stopping himself from smiling. He’s already looking at your lips, and you mentally pat yourself on the back for remembering to reapply your gloss just before you got here.

You kiss him then, and Art licks into your mouth as if he’s been starved and waiting to eat you up since you left. You adjust your position to sit on top of him, and your knee grazes his lap. He’s already fully hard.

“Sorry.. couldn’ help myself. Pat fell asleep and I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“It’s okay, baby,” you grin, holding his jaw, “You want me to make it better? Want me to go down on you?”

Art nods distractedly, mumbling out, “please, baby. Need you”. Your thumb brushes the gloss on his lip, and Art opens his mouth. You pull your hand away before he can wrap his lips around your thumb, and you kiss him as a whine escapes his mouth, muffling his voice.

You press your lips against his until they’re coated in your shiny gloss, and then you slide a finger into his mouth. He sucks on it – pink, sparkly lips around your finger.

“You look so pretty. Should wear my lipgloss more often,” you tell him, and he turns his head away in fake-annoyance, your finger slipping out. You feel his hard cock against your leg again as he moves, and you pull at his chin to open his mouth.

Art moans as you messily push three of your fingers into his mouth to get them wet against his tongue. You pull them out and slide them down into the waistband of his boxers, and down the length of his cock.

You put your hand over his mouth before he has a chance to moan, and you nod towards Patrick. He’s asleep, his back to you, but it’s not going to take long for Art to wake him if he keeps being this loud.

You get up, and Art pulls his legs to the side of the bed as you sit down between them. He’s straining against his boxers, a tall tent pulling the fabric taut. You release Art’s cock, and it slaps against his abs. He’s glistening down his length from where you spread his spit on him, a small puddle of precum already at the tip.

You giggle quietly, “So wet, baby. You’re wet like a girl.”

“Shut up,” he whispers back weakly, biting his lip to stop a smile from spreading over his face.

You kiss the wet tip, licking the precum, and begin to leave lip gloss stains all down his length.

“Feels so good, baby. You’re so good at this,” Art says not nearly quietly enough.

“Shh, baby. Don’t wanna wake Patrick up.”

Your boyfriend nods, but you don’t think he’s listening.

You take his dick into your mouth properly now, wet heat enveloping him as you take him deeper, and you look up to see how he bites his lip and lets nothing but a breath slip past his lips as he watches you.

“Good boy,” you whisper to him. He intertwines his fingers with yours by the side of his hip, and you look up to smile at him. You ignore how, when you look past Art for a split second, you can see Patrick clearly jerking his cock under the blanket, the movement of his arm making it obvious.

You shake your head slightly, resisting the urge to roll your eyes at Art’s best friend, and you take your boyfriend deeper down your throat as your spit drips to his balls. Art looks down at you with such restraint on his face, it almost looks like he’s about to cry.

He manages not to make a sound when you suck his dick more eagerly, your lip gloss smeared over his cock as you jerk off what you can’t take past your lips. The only sound in the room is the wetness of your mouth and your spit around your boyfriend’s cock.

Art lets out a shaky breath as his abs contract, his hand squeezing yours, and you softly nod up at him, taking his cock as deep as you can. He whimpers pathetically when he spills his load down your throat, and you swallow it all as he keeps cumming and cumming in your mouth.

When you pull away, out of breath and with your lips wet, you take in the picture you created. Art’s cock is full of your lip gloss, his face shiny with a thin layer of sweat, his cheeks as red as the gloss you left on his lips earlier. You’re about to stand up and get a wipe to clean Art up, but he pulls his boxers back on.

He likes the glossy stains on his cock even more than the ones you leave on his lips.

He pulls you up on the bed, lying you on your back. “Please can I go down on you?” he whispers, mouthing at your neck and down your chest, pulling your top down as much as the tight fabric allows, whining when he doesn’t get all the way down to your nipples.

As much as you want Art to eat your pussy, you won’t let him. He always gets messy and loud, moaning almost uncontrollably as he makes out with your wet pussy, and there is no way Patrick could pretend to sleep through that.

If you thought Art was going to cry earlier from how good he felt, he reaches a new level of teariness now when you tell him no, eyes almost glassy.

“Tomorrow, okay? You can still use your fingers now.” Art looks at least somewhat assuaged at your offer, and lies down on his side next to you, unknowingly shielding you from Patrick. You don’t know if he came along with Art, or if he’s still jerking off, and that makes it even more exciting.

You know Art would never cheat on you, but if you gave him permission to, and if he admitted his attraction, you’re sure he’d jump at the first opportunity to invite Patrick into bed with you two. You know Patrick feels the same. You like the thought of him listening in, making himself cum to the sound of his best friend and his girlfriend having sex.

“Here,” Art urges, holding a hand to your mouth, even though he knows you’ll be more than wet enough from giving him head. You spit into his open palm, and Art spits in too, the way he always does, liking the feeling of your combined warm wetness against his skin.

Art reaches down your body and into your underwear, adding to the wetness. He rubs your clit in messy circles, kissing you even messier. You spread your legs for him more, but Art lets out a frustrated huff.

“Can I… want you naked,” he mumbles against your skin. Art watches with puppy eyes as you get up, taking off your tight top and grabbing your favourite oversized shirt of his instead, sliding off your trousers and panties only once you’ve put the shirt on.

“This is all you get.”

Art looks happy enough as you get back into bed with him, sliding a hand up your shirt now that he can comfortably get under the hem, and cups one of your tits.

“Can’t believe you’re mine,” Art says against your lips, hand moving back between your legs to play with your pussy, “So pretty.”

He circles your clit for a few moments before he pushes a finger inside while making out with you, remnants of his own cum still in your mouth, spit and gloss between you two as he continues to rub your clit.

“You’re the prettiest woman in the world,” he says, voice almost strained, and you realise he’s hard again, humping the mattress as well as he can while lying on his side, “Wish I was inside your pussy right now.”

You have to resist giving in to him – he’ll be insatiable the rest of the night if you let him fuck you even just for a few seconds – but you reach down to pull his cock free from his boxers, wrapping your hand around him.

“Can you focus if I’m doing this?” you ask pointedly, and Art nods eagerly.

“I’ll be good, I’ll be a good boy. I’ll make you cum,” he promises, slurring his words as your thumb swipes over the tip. But he’s not lying, he’s still fucking your pussy with his fingers. You’ve trained him well, so he knows what to do.

You can’t deny that you’re both getting loud now, if it’s not the moans you don’t quite manage to swallow down, then it’s the sound of your wet pussy and your slicked hand around Art’s cock.

You cum almost at the same time, Art rubbing your clit at just the right, albeit messy, intensity, and your thighs squeeze around his forearm when the orgasm flows through you, your own hand not stopping around Art’s cock. He’s breathing hard, reaching for the tissues on his headboard, but the tissue box topples over and falls against his shoulder and to the floor as he tries and fails to rip out a tissue.

“Here, I got you, baby,” you angle his cock to his abs, so that he won’t be spilling all over his own sheets, and you only have to jerk Art’s dick for a few more seconds before he’s shooting ropes of cum over his own skin. His abs glisten as his breath stutters, and he has to wrap his hand around yours to stop when he gets too sensitive.

“I love you so much,” Art huffs with a smile, and you kiss him briefly.

“I love you too.” You gather his cum off his abs, wiping it over your palm and holding it over his mouth. It drips and falls between Art’s parted lips. Art hums when you slip your fingers into his mouth, and he sucks the last drops of his load off them.

“Such a good boy,” you rub your thumb over his cheek, gazing at him in awe.

“I love you so much,” he tells you again, a soft smile on his face.

When you’re done and you look over, Patrick is back to quietly snoring, a freshly crumpled tissue by the side of his bed. You kiss Art before you can begin to smirk, and you briefly consider telling him. You decide it’s a conversation for another day. Art would definitely get hard again if he knew that Patrick was jerking off to you two doing it, and he’s already squeezed out two orgasms just now. You don’t need him that overstimulated tonight.

You remove your makeup and get one of the fresh pairs of panties Art bought for you to keep at his place. You walk back into the bedroom and find Art on his back, smiling at you all fucked out.

You lie down with him, letting him cup one of your tits for comfort so that he can sleep better. You kiss his cheek and see that his lips are still shiny with glittery gloss. You decide not to offer to clean him up, now that you know he likes it like that.

P.S. Thank you for reading <3 Reblog and comment for Art to come and kiss the gloss off your lips 🤭

#art donaldson x reader #art donaldson smut #challengers fic #Patrick Zweig x reader #challengers smut #art Donaldson x reader x Patrick zweig #challengers #art donaldson x patrick zweig #(i hate when people put the wrong tags but I feel like these do apply to some degree so don't hate me)#fem!reader #selfcarecap

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atomicqueer · 2 years ago

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clothing is the absolute worst gift to ever get because its always either something you already own a better version of (they got it because it looks like something youd wear... because you already own one) OR something id never wear in a billion years (they got it because they're confident that you dont own one already. and somehow that makes it a gift you want. because clearly everyone needs to own at least one of everything in existence)

#YES THIS APPLIES TO SOCKS TOO #name ONE time ive worn brightly patterned socks in public? oh? you cant think of a time ive worn them?? SO DONT FUCKING BUY ME ANY #also. i owned two pink sweaters!!! i didnt need another pink sweater! especially one thats an uglier shade of pink and doesnt fit me right #sorry my mom bought me socks on her trip and i finally washed them the other day (and i just folded them)#and having to cram them into my drawer filled me with rage #and it reminded me that ive never enjoyed or worn any item of clothing my mom has bought me except for last christmas #when i very specifically asked for plain neutral colored wool socks and she actually got me plain neutral colored wool socks #(a couple pairs were blue but theyre not garrish so its excusable)#((but. ive only worn the blue ones once (when all the gray ones were dirty) hm i wonder why))#nyway i got to thinking abt this ugly pink sweater that takes up too much space or this weird polyester suede-esque forest green button up #and its just. i do understand the thought but also you don't know me at all if you think im going to enjoy these things #and that applies to 90% of the gifts ive ever gotten #i hate little trinkets i hate stuffed animals im so sick of scented candles i own too much lotion i own too many things. period.#i dont want things!!! and i dont know how to get that across to people #im seriously going to have to enforce a ''if you buy me a physical object i will literally refuse to take it'' rule #with maybe a handmade objects exception. and art excluded as well obviously.#art is nice! how come more people don't gift art???

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urno1luv · 18 days ago

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Pussy drunk Loser!Karina please🙏😭

No Hands ~ ♡

kinda long before we get to the point i was in the zone🤒reader is a pink lover btw

cw: overstimulation, cunnilingus, anal, i think i mentioned the word "panty" like 50 times here idk

reader speech: pink + bold

karina speech: white + bold

♡ karina LIVES for making you happy🙂‍↕️and making you feel good. she would not be physically able to get off of you once you let her touch you🫂

♡ she’s so quiet about it in public. so well-behaved. your perfectly polished, chic, elegant girlfriend... but the second you get home and that door clicks shut? she’s not subtle anymore.

it starts innocent kinda...

she’s helping you get dressed - “i’ll zip it for you, babe” - but her hands linger.

fingers brushing the backs of your thighs, her palms smoothing over your hips.

she hums, low and thoughtful, like she’s admiring art. "this skirt’s short."

"so?"

"... well... i l-like it."

♡ she loves when you sit on her lap, she’ll pull you into it even when there’s a perfectly good seat next to her, saying that it’s because you’re warm, but you feel the way her grip tightens around your waist and know what she wants.

♡ and when you’re changing in the room and think she’s scrolling on her phone, think again🤥bc karina’s watching from the mirror. eyes flicking up the backs of your legs, teeth sinking into her bottom lip. "why won't you do it slower..." she’ll murmur when you change out of your clothes, and when you glance back at her, wide-eyed, only to see her facing the other way🙂‍↔️

♡ she absolutely has favorite pairs. soft cotton ones in pastels, and the little silk ones she bought you!! but honestly? she doesn’t care what you wear. she’s obsessed either way, especially when she can run her hands along the waistband and feel you shiver under her touch. "you don’t even realize what you do to me," she’ll murmur when laying her head in your lap, face smothered in your legs. "you’re so soft. so warm. all mine."

and then she’ll press a kiss just below your belly button and look up at you with those eyes and turn away in embarrassment, she can't believe she's doing this.

"don’t hide your face," you’ll whisper when she gets shy. "i want to see how much you like it when you touch me🥺"

♡ she tries so hard to keep her cool. she really does, e.g. when she pretends she’s focused on her laptop or some sci-fi novel she’s halfway into but the second you walk past in your little pajama shorts? her screen goes dark because she hasn’t typed a single word in ten minutes.

"babe…" she’ll mumble, eyes locked onto the shape of your ass in your panties like she’s being hypnotized. "do you-uh-do you have to wear that around the house?" and you’ll just raise your brow and smirk like "why? you don’t like it?"

and she’ll go bright red, shaking her head so fast her glasses almost fall off: "no! i mean-yes! i mean... i just…" poor girl can’t even finish a sentence.

♡ she studies your underwear drawer when you’re not looking. not in a creepy way (okay maybe a little) but she’ll be folding laundry and pause every time she comes across your panties like she’s trying to memorize them. "the light pink ones with the little bow," she whispers to herself. "my favourites," while slipping them into her jeans.

♡ she’s always saying things under her breath like: "i don’t get how it’s possible to look that good just walking across the room," "she literally has no idea what she does to me," and when you catch her, she freezes like a cat in headlights. "i didn’t say anything!" she lies, already turning red.

♡ you’ve definitely caught her staring before. like… just staring. you’re standing in front of the fridge and she’s on the couch behind you, notebook in her lap, eyes glued to your legs.

and when you turn around she jolts like you threw ice water on her. "i-i was just admiring your… calves. for anatomy reasons. art stuff." (she is not an artist)

♡ when you let her touch you, when you guide her hands under your skirt and whisper, "don’t be shy," she short circuits. her palms are warm and shaking. her breath catches in her throat.

she can't believe that her wet dreams are becoming a reality!!

it's safe to say that you didn't know that your little loser rina was gonna be THAT good when pleasing you... because she's always practically running away from you when you were kissing you expected her to be some sort of a prude but she definitely surprised you tonight.

♡ as soon as you take your clothes off she wouldnt get off at all. she wouldn't even get up for air. she just kept licking long stripes, before changing to just sucking your clit. she wouldnt use her hands (heh... the title...) because there was no need to. her mouth was enough🙂‍↕️

♡ she wouldn't let you run away from her, ignoring your pleas as you came over and over again, her arms interlocking your thighs, keeping them from shutting.

♡ she loved it the most when she ate it from the back, forcing you on your knees while she licked between your folds, collecting your sticky cum, inhaling the scent of your cunt while one hand was in her pants rubbing herself to your broken moans😵‍💫

♡ she would slip a finger into your ass, and as your knees gave away, she knew you were close, thrusting in and out, keeping the same rhythm with her tongue squeezed by your gummy walls, trying to extract as much cum from you as she could.

♡ if you were able to pull her off of you, she would let out a LOUD whine and would only say one thing: "y/n... hmmph.. i'm not done..."

♡ "i’ve dreamed about this," she'd say without thinking, then clapping a hand over her mouth like: "i didn’t mean to say that out loud."

and you make sure to tease her for it from now on, after finding out how obsessed she is with your pussy🙂‍↕️sit in her lap during study sessions, trail your fingers up her arms while she’s trying to focus.

and when she lets out a soft, pitiful "please…" you tilt your head and whisper, "please what, baby?" she nearly combusts, and the cycle continues <3

#urno1luv #karina x fem reader #karina x reader #aespa smut #aespa x fem reader smut #aespa x fem reader #aespa x reader #kpop scenarios #kpop smut #girl group x female reader #girl group smut #yu jimin x fem reader #yu jimin x reader #yu jimin #karina aespa

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p0orbaby · 1 month ago

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Indexical Reminder of a Morning Well Spent

i sent a little of this to @wosofutbolfan and it apparently passed the test so here it is

The goal was fucking beautiful.

A pure, uncut masterclass in footballing telepathy.

Alexia had barely looked before she whipped the ball into the box. You were already moving, already there, like you had a GPS tracker embedded under your skin, waiting for the exact moment to strike. One touch, a ruthless finish, and the net rippled like it was bowing to your greatness. The crowd went feral. Commentators lost their minds. Pundits called it art.

Now, in the changing room, your teammates are still reeling.

“Okay, but what the actual hell was that?” Mapi demands, pulling off her tape.

Pina shakes her head, throwing a towel over her shoulder. “It’s not normal. You don’t even look at each other. It’s like—like she breathes, and you just know.”

Patri squints at you. “Do you practice that at home?”

Irene folds her arms. “Be honest. Do you two have, like, a shared consciousness?”

Kika points at you. “Are you some kind of footballing hive mind? Because I refuse to believe that was just instinct.”

You stretch out your legs, completely unfazed. “It because we fuck all the time.”

Silence.

Alexia, who had been mid-sip of her water, chokes.

Coughs. Gags. Almost dies.

Mapi slaps the locker and cackles. “That explains a lot.”

Pina’s eyes widen. “Excuse me?”

Patri grips her towel like it’s a seatbelt. “What does that have to do with football?”

You shrug. “Everything.”

Alexia is still spluttering. “No, no, no. Stop.”

You ignore her completely. “When you have sex as often as we do, you develop a kind of… connection.”

Alexia lunges, slamming a hand over your mouth. “Don’t you dare.”

Mapi grins. “Oh, no. She has to.”

Alexia glares at her. “She doesn’t.”

Kika leans forward. “No, I think she should.”

Pina nods, barely suppressing her laughter. “For scientific purposes.”

Patri crosses her arms. “If we’re going to be subjected to your disgusting public displays of on-pitch chemistry, we deserve the full explanation.”

You lick Alexia’s palm.

She yelps and jerks away like she’s been electrocuted.

You wipe your mouth. “As I was saying—”

“No. No,” Alexia pleads.

You continue, unfazed. “I know her body. Every inch of it. The way her muscles shift. The exact moment she tenses before she—”

Alexia actually grabs you. Tries to physically drag you away. “We’re leaving.”

You dodge, side-stepping like you’re evading a stubborn defender. “I just mean, when you’ve had someone clench around your fingers enough times—”

Alexia lunges again.

You bolt, darting around the physio table.

Mapi screams with laughter. “OH MY GOD.”

Kika has tears in her eyes. “Please, keep going. This is the greatest thing I’ve ever witnessed.”

Alexia is desperate. “Stop talking.”

You dodge her again. “It’s pure instinct at this point. Like how I know exactly when she’s about to—”

Alexia dives. Misses.

Pina has collapsed onto the floor. “I cannot breathe.”

Patri is crying. “Make it stop.”

Irene wipes her face. “No, keep going, I need every detail.”

Mapi is wheezing. “Wait, wait, wait—are you saying that every time you score a goal off her pass—”

You smirk. “It’s basically an extension of our sex life, yes.”

Alexia grabs you, shakes you like she’s trying to reset your brain. “You. Are. Deranged.”

You grin. “Fong pretend you don’t love it.”

She shoves you. “I’m not pretending, I loathe it.”

Mapi is practically convulsing with laughter. “You’re telling me every single assist—”

“—is just an echo of last night’s activities? Oh definitely.”

Kika collapses onto the bench. “I need an exorcism.”

Alexia physically hauls you toward the showers. “We are leaving this conversation.”

You plant your feet. “Wait, wait, just let me finish—”

“No.”

“I’m just saying, it’s good motivation, you know? The more I score, the more assists she gets, the better the reward.”

Mapi screeches.

Pina is on the floor.

Patri is pleading with the universe.

Kika throws her water bottle at you. “LEAVE.”

Alexia shoves you through the doorway. “You’re done.”

Mapi wheezes. “This is the best day of my life.”

Alexia looks at the team like she’s asking for divine intervention. “This is the worst day of mine.”

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