Sinful Circus AU Incorrect Quotes
(CW for NSFW humor)
(Will contain Ragapom, Abstrabbit, and Bluetooth)
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Able: Hey, what have you two been up to?
Gangle: We were helping Ragatha write her vows, but she kicked us out because Jax was making inappropriate suggestions.
Jax: How is “Pomni, I love your sweet ass” inappropriate?
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Queenie: If you could guess, how many brain cells do you have?
Kinger: Dorito’s cool ranch.
Queenie:
Queenie: I'm just gonna assume zero for now.
Kinger: I love that song
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Pomni: There’s no “I” in team, but there is one in pizza
Kaufmo: So, you’re not going to share?
Pomni: I’m not going to share
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Zooble: I dare you-
Ragatha: Kaufmo is not allowed to accept dares anymore.
Zooble: Why not?
Kaufmo: "I have no regard for my own or others personal safety", as some would say
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Able: Today, Influencer said a swear word, so Ragatha said she was going to wash Influencer's mouth out with soap. Influencer replied, “It’s okay, I like the taste of soap”. Turns out, they’ve been putting soap on their lips to blow bubbles
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Zooble: closes a cabinet
a crash is heard behind the cabinet door
Kaufmo: What was that?
Zooble: The sound of someone else's problem
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Able: I don’t know how you have your foot in your mouth, your head up your ass, and your nose in my business. But here we are, you fucking wizard
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Jax: I’m a multitasker!
Jax: I can disappoint fifteen people at once
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Moon: Well, Caine and I finally did it!
The rest of the squad: gasps, shocked expressions, etc.
Moon: That's right… We kissed!
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Influencer: Bl@ckm@1l 15 5uch @n ugly w0rd. 1 pr3f3r 3xt0rt10n. Th3 X m@k3s 1t s0und c00l
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Pomni: Good news! I didn’t screw up!
Able: …
Pomni: I screwed up less badly than usual!
Able: …
Pomni: Screwed up with less immediate consequences than usual
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Ragatha: I asked Pomni out
Queenie: Oh, I’m sorry
Ragatha: Why?
Queenie: Well, I assume she said no
Ragatha: No, she said yes
Queenie: Really? Then I’m sorry for her
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Jax: My knee just cracked so loudly that I half expect it to glow in the dark tonight
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Jax: Zooble, we tried things your way
Zooble: No, we didn't
Jax: I did it in my head and it didn't work
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Pomni, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?
Zooble: Yeah, sure
A few minutes later
Zooble: Here you go
Pomni:
Zooble:
Ragatha: Why am I here?
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Influencer: 1 th1nk w3 5h0uld h@v3 gl0w 5t1ck ju1c3 1nj3ct3d 1n 0ur b0n35 wh3n w3'r3 b0rn, 50 1f w3 br3ak 0ur b0n35, w3 g3t @ fun l1ttl3 5urpr1s3!
Caine: What's the surprise?
Zooble: Blood poisoning.
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Jax: When do I get my own gun?
Pomni: I wouldn’t trust you with my kid’s lightsaber
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Jax, referring to Zooble: I don’t know, they just don’t seem interested
Caine: Did you try talking to them?
Jax:
Jax: Try what?
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Kaufmo: I wouldn’t wish that upon my worse enemy!
Kaufmo: Unless of course. . We’re talking about my enemy, Zooble. Fuck you Zooble, you know what you did!
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Jax: Wait you like me? For my personality?
Zooble: I know, I was surprised too
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Kaufmo: What’s the status up here?
Pomni: Fucked up, about to die, Able’s a nerd. The usual
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Able: I have been tricked, I have been backstabbed, and I have quite possibly been bamboozled
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Ragatha: Sometimes I drink milk straight from the container.
Influencer: @h y35, th3 c0w'5 udd3r!
Ragatha: What?
Gangle: WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT????
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Able: I know what you're up to.
Influencer: R3@lly? B3c@u53 I b@r3ly kn0w!
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Jax: If the thought of something makes any of you giggle for longer than 15 seconds, you are to assume you’re not allowed to do it
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Influencer: Th3r3 15 n0 1 1n h@ppyn355…
Pomni: There is if you fucking spell it right
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Caine: There was a motor close to where I am right now.
Caine: A motor- a motorcycle?
Caine: Oh sorry, a murder
Ragatha: That escalated quickly
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Jax: .. .----. -- / … --- .-. .-. -.-- (translation: I'M SORRY)
Gangle: What's that?
Jax: Remorse code
Gangle: I'm even angrier now
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Sun: Sleep is the body’s best safety mechanism
Kaufmo: How so?
Sun: It keeps you from screwing up for 8 hours
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the Squad cleaning up
Caine: Pick up the nearest piece of trash and throw it away!
Pomni, to Jax: Aight, which bin do you wanna go in-
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Moon: Define “dream”
Zooble: Dream - the first thing people abandon when they learn how the world works.
Gangle: That’s too dark!
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Pomni: You look good in that hoodie
Ragatha: You know where else I'd look good?
Pomni, zero hesitation: My bed.
Ragatha, at the same time: By your side- wait, what?
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Gangle: Okay. Hypothetically speaking, how mad would you be if I burned a hot pocket so badly it could probably fall off a ten-story building and be completely fine?
Sun: Gangle, what did you do?
Gangle: Take a guess
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Ragatha: What do we say when making bread?
Zooble, glumly: That's the dough rising
Ragatha: And what do we NOT say?
Jax, sadly: That's the yeast fucking
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Caine: Oh no! The printer broke while printing out Jax's birthday invitations!
Gangle: Well, what are they supposed to say?
Caine: "Jax's birthday"
Gangle: So, what do they say instead?
Caine: "Jax’s bi"
Gangle:
Gangle: Works out either way
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Jax: Kaufmo, you look deep in thought. What’s wrong?
Kaufmo: Did you know you can look at any object and know what it’s like to lick it? Even if you’ve never touched it before?
Jax: I’m never asking you anything ever again
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Pomni: What are you in the mood for?
Ragatha: World domination
Pomni: That's a bit ambitious
Ragatha: You are my world~
Pomni: Aww…
Ragatha:
Pomni:
Ragatha:
Pomni: OH.
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Zooble: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Influencer will and will not eat
Queenie: Grass? Yes!
Zooble: Moss? Yes!!
Queenie: Leaves? Ohh, yes!
Zooble: Shoelaces? Strange but true!
Queenie: Worms? Sometimes!
Zooble: Rocks? Usually, nah
Queenie: Twigs? Usually!
Zooble: Kinger's cooking? Inconclusive!
Moon: How did you… test this?
Zooble: You just hand them stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if they eat it, they eat it
Moon: … I don’t know how to feel about this
Kinger: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?
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Caine: I can't imagine what Influencer is planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it and it won't be legal
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Pomni: angrily presses Ragatha against a wall WHERE'S THE MONEY?!
Ragatha: …
Ragatha: Are we about to kiss-
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Sun: If we lose, you’re out of the will
Pomni: I was in the will?
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Ragatha: What is it called when you kill a friend?
Influencer: H0m1c1d3!
Gangle: .......Murder-
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Sun: Everyone thinks you suck.
Jax: I think you have the wrong number…
Sun: Influencer?
Jax: Nope. Jax
Sun: Well, you probably suck too
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Able: According to the footage here, you shook the vending machine and when the shake alarm went off, you punched the glass and broke it
Zooble: …I was hungry
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Influencer: @rs0n? 0h! Y0u m3@n "cr1m1 brûl33"!
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Moon: What the FUCK is this?!?
Pomni, sitting down, surrounded by corpses: I won Mafia, that’s what
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Caine: I'm not superstitious… But I am a little stitious
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