#Y’ALL WE SO RARELY GET GOOD COMPLICATED RELATIONSHIPS LIKE THIS | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

alottamoney · 1 year

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https://www.tumblr.com/alottamoney/721118698782523392/trying-to-understand-tks-behavior-and-in-which?source=share

This is going to be a long one ao brace yourselves. Going through your blog, i legit almost got a headache. It is amazing to see how pple interpret things very differently. I get that all shippers have a reason why they believe in their ships but there is something you pple are not taking into consideration.

Now, y’all are sitting from your home or whatever you are, watching BTS and Taekook. You get to see a good amount of their daily lives on screen everyday in some form of content and naturally, you start analyzing every little thing! Every little eye contact, facial expressions, words, actions etc. Everything is analyzed to the bone. So what do you expect? I am happy for you because at some point you saw that there was nothing in Taekook’s relationship more than a friendship! There has never been more. You only saw more because there were so many things you didn’t take into consideration.

Jk loves Tae very much and vice versa. They love hanging around each other even if they aren’t really doing anything. Tae has always been the one hyung Jk always felt was closest to a friend. He has a completely different dynamic with all his hyungs but with Tae, even though Tae was older, that is who he always saw or considered a friend. With Jimin, Jk kinda had an interesting dynamic. Kinda complicated depending on how you looked at things and they were always very close but it wasn’t always very obvious. Tae to him was more or less like his play buddy. They did the fun thing together and loved goofing around, playing games and getting in trouble together. While Jimin has always been the one he had the deepest emotional connection with. Let me explain. Years ago, around 2014 i think, Jk was asked who he would like to share a room with and he said V. When he was asked why, he said because they could play games all night. Whenever it came to choosing who to do “fun” things with, he always chose V. Infact it looked like he almost hated it when he was in Jimin’s team when they had to play games…….but, what was very interesting is that, everytime Jk has been asked deeper questions like who is the hyung who gives uou the best comfort, he chose Jimin. When he was asked which hyung was easiest to talk to, he chose Jimin, when he was asked who knows him best, he chose Jimin, when he was asked who his heart is most connected to he chose Jimin. In 2014 Festa, he described Tae as his “pabo” friend or dumb friend (jokingly) while he described Jimin as his all nighter friend. He said on most night it was just him and Jimin together just doing whatever. Even recently, when Jk was speaking abt the members and what he learned from them, he spoke about RM’s intelligence, Suga’s deep thoughts, Jin’s persistence , Jimin’s actions, Hobi’s thoughtfulness….and Tae’s unique style. We have heard Jk describe Jimin as kind, caring, selfless, cute,charming, hardworking and dedicated! We have heard him say he wants to follow in Jimin’s footsteps but with Tae do you know what Jk always said abt Tae? He is handsome. He is handsome, he is handsome. And one time, he said Tae was kinda a genius. Now what is my point? I’m sure from reading the above, you can see that Jk’s bond with Tae seems to have mostly been external and rarely deep. It seemed like they had little to no emotional connection with each other and that is probably one of the reasons why as the years went by and Tae matured, they grew distant. The glue of their friendship was always usually the fun things they did together and not really any thing deeper. When that element of fun was taken out, there was almost nothing left. What would they do when they hang out? You don’t believe me? Look for videos with Jk sitting or standing close to Jimin and compare to videos of Taekook sitting or standing together. Most times, taekook were just standing or sitting there doing nothing. But when Jk was with Jimin, they were almost always lost in their little bubble. They always had something to talk about or play or do. You don’t have to tk my word for it, just find a few videos and try to compare. A good example is the Carnation VLive Taekook did in 2020. Compare that Vlive to Jikook’s 2020 Kimbab Vlive and see the clear difference! Now b4 some of u come and say they were being monitored, Jikook too were being monitored but they still had better chemistry and no awkwardness. I know that many if you think the ITS talk was scripted, but when u consider everything, u realize that it wasn’t. Taekook never said he had a fight or had a disagreement! No! They naturally drifted apart probably because they couldn’t relate to each other anymore. That doesn’t mean they stopped loving each other. They would still engage in skinship, play with each other, comfort each other but that was abt it. They never had deeper talks or probably didn’t even spend time with each other outside of work. Jk said he invited Tae for a drink but he said no! So their bond was struggling.

The reason why i am explaining all of these is because i have seen TK videos, edits with weird eye contact moments, avoidance etc. Those were not lovers quarrels. Those were friends being awkward with each other at certain times. I don’t know how much some of y’all can try to use your personal experiences. It’s a lil harder cuz u probably can’t always see your facial expression and body language etc so it’s harder to judge but i can assure u, it’s most like the same.

Now, there are so many pple who believe in TK because of the skinship. Now you have to realize that while certain things abt relationships could be universal, there are bound to be nuances, cultural differences and context, environment, upbringing, mentality and pple around you that will make a huge difference. In the west, it is not very normal to see two platonic friends taping each others butts, but it is extremely normal in Korea. Y’all went feral when Jk sat on Tae’s lap in PTD vegas, while u were thinking “ohh that is sexual” Jk was probably thinking “ V hyung’s lap looks comfy, let me snuggle in” while V stroking Jk’s hair looks sexy to you, V is doing it with adoration for the magnae. When Jk sitting inbetween Taes legs on ITS was blantanty sexual to, Taekook didn’t give it that much thought. It probably just felt comfortable. Besides, why would u think Jk sitting inbetween Tae’s legs means more, but Jin having his hands up Taes balls doesn’t? Why would Taekook giving each other a kiss on the cheek mean more, but Tae kissing jin on the cheek or Jk kissing RM on the forehead isn’t? The only reason why u saw it as more was because of you “Tunnel” vision. Since you already saw them as more, your brain registered every normal thing they did as more. There has never been any exclusivity with Taekook. Meaning there has never been anything Taekook did for or to each other that they hadn’t done with another member at some point. Friendships don’t always have exclusivity but romantic relationships ALWAYS do. The fact that TK had none as far as we knew should hv already been your sign.

Also, Jk is too “comfortable” with Tae to be dating him. What do i mean by this? Considering the fact that they are not in normal dating or relationships circumstances at all, like being world class famous idols, who happen to both be males in the same band, living in a homophobic country and have alot to lose if they are outted? They were too comfortable in their skinship. Also considering Jk’s personality, that just wasn’t possible. Your skinship was always so casual and never really thought abt no matter what they were doing. Tae would flat out use Jk as a pillow and he wouldn’t flinch. Jk could sit comfortably inbetween tae’s legs for more than 30 minutes without hyperventilating. They could stare each other down at their “fanservice” moments on stage without tension, just pure friendship and giggly vibes. Do you really think all these would have been possible if they were really dating under this circumstances? With JkMs personality (painfully shy introvert) absolutely NOT! You rejoiced because of how natural their touches felt or looked but that was because those touches were just that! Touches. Nothing more to it. A clear conscience fears no accusations. When u are not guilty of something, you are the most comfortable, most at ease and most relaxed. You don’t overthing the simplest actions cuz u know they do not mean more. Jk could ask Tea to lean into him at an ward show cuz there was nothing more to it. They could be clingy at harry styles concert in 2021, dancing and holding hands cuz there was nothing more to it. Even with thousands of pple watching them, they didn’t panic cuz they knew they weren’t doing anything suspicious.

You seem to think that by Jk mentioning Tae or JM he is feeding his shippers. No. I don’t think Jk is interested in that. He mentions Tae when he feels like. Not because he is trynna feed shippers. He called Tae the most handsome man he had ever seen not cuz he was attracted to him. That is just a friend appreciation his friend and the fact that shippers didn’t understand that was crazy. Everytime you call your friend beautiful or sexy or handsome, is it cuz u want to jump their bones? So why do u think that is why Jk did it? Alot of you failed to compare Taekook dynamic and the dynamic of Taekook with other members. If you did, you would have realized there is absolutely nothing exclusive with Taekook. Also, it was honestly weird to think Tk were dating after all the thing Jk had done for and to Jimin alone lol. I’m not only talking abt the ear sucking moment or hickey gate.

Y’all have always read too much into TK word and actions pls the ridiculous conspiracy theories flying around lol. No wonder this fandom is plagued with a whole lot of tkkrs lol. Tae and Jk have always been friends and that’s all unless you imagine they must have been in this extremely toxic relationship where Jk would choose to spend most of his nights with Jimin instead of his “boyfriend” Tae. If they were usually working all day, then when was Jk spending cuddle time with Tae if he was mostly with Jimin at nights?

And one more thing, stop with the whole Hybe favorite ship nonsense. From a business pov how the hell does Jikook as a ship serve them? How many Jikookers are there compared to taekookers? Look at what happened with the book. Because there were no Tk moments, didn’t a majority of tkkrs and Tae solos refuse to buy the book? How does Jikook benefit the company when everytime Jikook breath around each other, more than half of the fandom gets angry and starts sending emails to BH? How is Jikook the company’s best ship when the whole of last year they were barely paired together for any damn thing? How? It makes no freaking sense. Jimin didn’t go to NYC for fanservice. He went to support Jk and probably do some work with him. Jk doesn’t mention Vmin to fuel shippers, he mentions them cuz he wants to. Let go of all these ridiculous theories and see thing for what they really are. You must hv a very ugly perception of these boys if you think they live all their lives doing FS. That is sad as hell. I know the kpop industry isn’t clean and it know stuff like this isn’t impossible but it isn’t the case with Vminkook.

They love cherish and respect each other. I am still on the fence abt Jikook’s relationships but Taekook have definitely NEVER been an item.

You had a headache but you managed to write this novel? I didn't metaphorically bury Taekook for this. I ain't reading all that, but I'll post it for your peace of mind since you're clearly going through something.

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fic-dumpster · 3 years

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DIHU presents *drum rolls* : The secret agenda of a man-child

Bonten!Mikey x Reader | ??? Words

Warnings: Fluff😵‍💫 like a lot. Gag ppl gag. Sanzu, yes. He is a warning.

A/N: I- I- I- I hate this 😔. Why y’all want him so bad? This is my crumbs of Mikey. Don’t expect more from him… he mine grrrrr. (im jk xD) it was supposed to be short Headcanons :c like 3 dots

Mikey may seem silent and uninterested, but in fact, he is not. The man-child is the most fucked up, lusting, daydreaming, craving you 24/7.

Mikey doesn't talk; his modern ass texts you every time he can. Even when you two are in the same room. Sometimes he texts you to tell you how you keep looking at Kokonoi, and you should stop that and look at him.

In the morning, because he’s the one who spends most nights at your place, he whines about waking up early and having to go to the office. He drags you back to bed and hugs you close, burying his face in your chest.

Mikey doesn't want to let go, and he doesn't. Sometimes Sanzu has to come and try, keyword try, to pull him out of bed or you, but that latter part wins him a kick in the face.

Now Sanzu dodges two of five kicks.

You stay quiet, brushing your fingers through his hair, which in return, he pulls you closer.

Sanzu stands there about to pop a vein.

One, because they have a lot of work to do, and two, he can’t join in bed either because Mikey will probably kick him out.

So Sanzu looks at you with those long lashes and puppy dog eyes. As if says “please help,” and how could you say no.

Once out of bed, thanks to your negotiations skills (not really, you just offered more alone time together), the car ride is more peaceful. Mikey tends to place his face on the crook of your neck. And today was no different.

While sitting in the back, anyone, who saw the two of you, would think that the small man is an octopus at this point. Arms, legs, face all over you.

Sanzu peeks from the rearview mirror once in a while and laughs at your state. Of course, he would like to be there but seeing the two most important people in his life brings him joy.

Besides, it's so rare to see Mikey so vulnerable. That's something Sanzu would never interrupt. Even if there is a pinch of jealousy in his heart, he could never.

You feel Mikey’s nose tickle your neck, and he takes deep whiffs of your scent and you feel your body heat up. Why does he always do that, you think to yourself.

Once, you asked if he wanted the same bottle since it was a unisex fragrance. Takeomi got it for you; it was a Jo Malone cologne, and sometimes you sprayed Kakucho’s CK, but you wouldn't tell him that. However, Mikey refused, saying only you smelled good to him.

“Okay! We have arrived!” Sanzu was eager to finally be able to get down.

“No, take us around the block,” Mikey as always would put excuses.

“But we already went three times!” The pinknette banged his head against the wheel, and you chuckled at the situation Sanzu was in. Although once the pinknette was on his own, he became the menace. Or sometimes even worse. So it was fair.

Mikey’s clingingness didn't end there. He doesn't show how attached he is to you in public, but that doesn't mean his eyes don't follow you everywhere you go.

If someone focused enough on him, they would see the change in his dead eyes. They were filled with adoration, admiring you from afar. Not that he had to, but he likes to watch you fluttering around the office, smiling and chatting with his executives.

He accepts that sharing is hard; sometimes, he thinks about ending the deal. But for your happiness, he would tolerate the others. Besides, you're safer this way, under their constant watch.

Your relationship with Mikey is the most complicated, yes. But it's also the most honest.

#omificstags #omi.dih #sano mikey manjiro x reader #tokyo revengers headcanons #tokyorev hcs #tr fluff

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faelapis · 3 years

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ok so. i have a confession of sorts. as much as she-ra/spop was a mixed bag for me... i do kinda stan and find myself emotionally affected by the fanon version that’s endured past it.

the fandom has a very cool interpretation where, for instance, adora has a well-written existential crisis and fear of living without purpose in a way every teenager can relate to yet connects well to her history of abuse, instead of the little puddle of nothing we got in canon. i see these gifsets outside the show itself followed by these stan affect-essays and i'm like. yup. that Hits. enough so that i almost forget canon itself, because the must more complex and nuanced fanon just straight up makes it better. in the show, there's a lot of things that really don't hit - but are actively better in a 30 second stan twitter clip with commentary.

like spop stans are intense in their very particular read where the utena parallels are totally justified in this grand, complicated story where love sets you free from abuse and destiny and you just love each other despite your flaws and like. damn. wish canon was half as good at expressing those ideas, or had half the nuance. to be clear, i think some of that is the intent in canon, i just don't think its expressed half as well as fanon does, nor is the relationship of adora and catra really handled with the nuance it deserves. i hope some of y’all get hired as staff writers if there’s ever a movie.

so yeah, fanon > canon in this very rare case, and i almost never think that. i tend to be frustrated over fanon misinterpreting canon, but here, while that's kinda true, its... in a good way? so its kinda cool, because fandom tends to endure longer than shows.

#ask to tag / cuz i'm not putting this in the spop or she-ra tag #i don't want my hands bitten off #also the utena scene its paralleled to is about more than that and subverts rescuing your love and instead focuses on giving up that #fantasy in place of real empathy and thats why utena has to fail because the system that makes her a 'prince' is flawed #and the scene ends with utena losing anthy's hand instead of lifting her into a loving embrace yknow #but it's not a tragedy because anthy is able to awaken from her role which omg adora is NOT she literally still fulfills her role and saves #the world as she-ra and grumble grumble grumble grumble tangent tangent tangent whine whine whine #you get the idea

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thestarsanctuary · 3 years

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Hi do you write for Miruko from Mha? If you do can I request Miruko x smol fem s/o and general fluff Headcanons 🤓if you don’t write for her then you can ignore me

i haven’t uploaded in a while because it’s been rough but today I want to so here we go! Also- in love with Miruko/Mirko. Roughly in love.

MIRKO WITH A SMALL GIRLFRIEND

- She loves showing you off- from the moment you started dating it was like a whirlwind but the only thing that’s been consistent is the praise and affection you get from her, no shyness, just pure adoration.

“Baby is there a way you can get any cuter than you look now?”

“I’m literally folding laundry what are you talking about Rumi.”

- She also likes bringing you with her to interviews and things, even if you’re not relevant not a hero, she still loves to bring you everywhere and anywhere she can.

-The hugs she gives you- are nothing short of just rough squeezing until she tells you to stop. I mean- if you happen to be shorter than her or even her height it’s just aggressive compression.

“Mirko pleade- please I can’t-“

“But I’m showing how much I love you?!”

- She can struggle with the whole boundaries thing mostly because she’s not used to it. Relationships come rare as a hero, she doesn’t have time for it. So she tries to spend all the time she can with you no matter where you are.

“Sweetheart! What should we eat tonight? I was thinking something savory and-

“I AM IN THE BATHROOM RUMI GET OUT”

“It’s nothing I haven’t seen before don’t be so modest”

“LEAVE” yeah she’s rly struggling with that.

- She isn’t vulnerable often when it comes to her own feelings because she has too much pride, but no matter how difficult it is she’s going try and at least talk about it so you don’t feel like she’s just being complicated- and you have to remind her that she doesn’t owe you anything.

- When you praise her or get clingy she gets very flustered surprisingly enough. And this will only ever be the case with you.

“Rumiiii~ how was your day sweetheart?”

“Um, it was....good. Really uh, good. Yeah.” Never again will she do that again (yes she will it’s literally you.)

- She doesn’t like to sit inside all day so if you do, she’s probably going to drag you out because she wants you to know what she likes too!

- She definitely asks you to workout with her, and she either shows off to impress you for 99% of the time, or does cutesy things with you. No inbetween.

- Like if you try doing pushups she’s cheer you on and hype you up, and maybe even give you kisses after ever few reps. Just to reward you for being so cute~

- One time she took you to this event for heros and was just praising you the. whole. time. You were highly embarrassed and constantly tried to hide just a little bit behind her but she always moved too much so it was difficult.

“Yeah this is my girlfriend- isn’t she adorable?!”

“Uhh yeah”

“Don’t flirt with her.”

“Wha-

- She gets jealous. And it’s not the obsessive type but she definitely gets petty and whiny. Like a child to be honest.

“I just don’t understand their obsession with your bracelet or your shirt, like is it that deep to where they had to talk to you for that long about it?”

“Rumi it was like a 3 minute interaction, plus you were rolling your eyes and kept pulling me away, you’re not innocent either.”

“But they were- why can’t you side with me? :(“

“I’m sorry Rumi, wanna cuddle?”

“YEAH! I CALL BIG SPOON!!”

she’s just a woman baby infatuated with her girlfriend that’s all

FIN

tbh i didnt even know i had this I literally forgot about it but anyways I hope you enjoy at least a little, the format has slightly changed but yeah. Stan mirko with no regrets y’all- bye!

- SS <<3333

#mirko x reader #mirko x you #boku no hero academia mirko #mha rumi #rumi usagiyama #rumi x reader #rumi x y/n #miruko #miruko x y/n #miruko x reader #bnha x reader #bnha x you #mha x reader #mha x you #mha x y/n #wlw tag #bnha imagines #bnha x poc!reader

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dailyfanfix · 2 years

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Fic Rec VI: Assorodus

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Thoughts on Chapter 1 (spoilers)

I think chapter 1 starts out strong. It immediately shows you who or what the Reader might be, which hooked me into the story. It started out differently than most of the fics I’ve read.

There are also things that point to the reader having history with Morpheus, which I liked because build-up is always good, especially when it’s a slow burn. Later on you get to look back on those and think “Oh, so that’s what it’s about!” And I always like that feeling.

There’s a lot of celestial activity in the story and regarding the Reader, and obviously we don’t know what that’s about just yet, but I do feel that it’s maybe a crucial part of the story, so I’m paying attention every time there’s some mysterious force that’s commanding Reader about something. (Reader is very focused on her job, so whatever that something is, it scares—but also excites hehe—me that it might lead to angst.)

I personally think that line is good, especially with the context that later on, the Reader will endure the scorching pain for Morpheus’ sake. Gets you a look into just how much Reader cares for Morpheus, and makes you wonder even more what kind of relationship they really have.

Although I will say, Morpheus is more emotional here than in other fics, which I personally don’t mind. Because it looks to me that that’s how the author intended it to be, and because of the dynamic between Morpheus and the Reader, it makes sense for the story.

In the dynamic, it seems that the reader is the more protective one and Morpheus is like, the soft, teary-eyed bean that he is. But again, it makes sense because of who the reader is. I won;t say what she is though because that would be a major spoiler, you’d have to read the story for yourself if you want to know XP.

Like I said, the plot is very interesting, and I encourage y’all to read it and give PagieCake some support! (Because they deserve it and I really want to know what happens next—)

Writing-wise, I think it’s more tell-y than showy, but that’s not a bad thing. Just means the pacing is a little faster (for me, at least), especially at the beginning. It slows down the more you read though, it’s mostly the first chapter that’s fast because it’s introducing the Reader’s character. The Reader's character is also very complicated because of what she is, so to dwell too long on that is gonna take a lot of words so I get why it’s a little faster than the rest of the story’s pacing.

The paragraphs are also long (not all the time, though), which isn’t rare for fics and books. I’m only mentioning it to let y’all know. Because I’m dyslexic, bulky paragraphs are a little harder to read. Author, don’t take this as me telling you to shorten your paragraphs, that’s not why I’m saying this. Go write however your heart desires! I’m just here to give people a heads up, it doesn’t affect the story at all!

I saw in the ao3 comments that this is the author’s second language, and lemme tell you, for someone who’s writing in their second language, this fic is written very well! English is my second language, too. This style of writing is quite hard to achieve when you’re not using your first language, so more kudos to the author! English is a b*tch to learn XD.

The dialogue is good too! The first chapter’s dialogue stands out to me because you get a glimpse of Morpheus and Reader's history. It’s obvious they care for each other, but are holding back, yk?

My heart melted at the thought that the Reader stayed with him in that basement. Especially when both of them know nothing can be done to get him out because Reader would get hurt in the process. Anyway, I’ll wrap this up so the review isn’t too long. But overall, the plot is very interesting as I’ve said before, and the story gets better and better as the chapter progresses. Go check out Assorodus!

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the-ferocious-kittyrose · 3 years

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My complicated opinion on Keith Kogane

Keith Kogane is definitely one of the more popular characters in the VLD fandom. People love brooding emo bad boys.

My feelings on Keith are... complicated. I definitely don’t hate him. I have a lot of problems with the character but I don’t think I could ever bring myself to actually hate him. Mainly because I kinda relate to him. We both have problems controlling our emotions, interacting with people, and making friends.

And we both have trouble believing there are people who truly have our best interests at heart and won’t abandon us because we’re a burden.

What I do hate is the way his character was written and the way it negatively impacted the characters around him.

There are definitely a lot of factors that contributed to VLD ending up the way it did. But to me, Keith and the writers insistence on pushing him to the forefront was the poison that killed the show.

Ok, before we get into this whole rant I feel like I should talk about the things I do like about Keith.

I like the premise of Keith’s character. He’s half Galra and never really fit in on Earth. He didn’t act like the other “normal” kids so kids made fun of him and adults didn’t want to deal with him. So in order to protect himself from the pain of rejection he would put up a tough angry facade and push people away and reject them before they could reject him.

This is something that really resonates with me personally having grown up neurodivergent. It’s awful growing up in a world that isn’t made for people like you and not knowing how to interact with or connect with your peers. Especially when you don’t know why you’re like that.

You learn to avoid social interaction because it always ends up negative. You put up walls because you don’t feel like anybody understands you or what you’re going through.

I know the writers probably didn’t intend to code Keith as neurodivergent. They just wanted Keith to be a hothead with abandonment issues, but nonetheless, this interpretation means a lot to me.

I also really like his relationship with Shiro. Keith is so used to being left behind and abandoned that when he meets someone like Shiro who’s patient and genuinely cares it’s new and strange. He’s so ready for Shiro to abandon him, even telling Shiro to send him back to the home, but Shiro refuses to leave him and tells Keith ethat he’s never going to give up on him.

It’s also interesting to see how their relationship develops over time. It’s clear Keith trusts Shiro, but you can tell that that fear of abandonment is still there deep down. In S2, Keith tells Shiro that he’s like a brother to him, and then in season 6, he takes the extra step and tells Shiro that he IS his brother and that he loves him. And for someone like Keith, telling their friend they love them is a big scary thing.

And also it’s just great to see a platonic “I love you,” especially between two guys. Don’t be afraid to tell your bros you love them!!!

Now let’s talk about the stuff I didn’t like.

Keith doesn’t have much going for him in terms of personality. He’s just sorta brooding and serious all the time. He does make jokes occasionally but it’s rare. The writers were more focused on making him cool and badass rather than fun.

I always loved the idea of Keith as a cocky carefree asshole who doesn’t give a shit about rules/laws and is kinda rude/aggressive but has a heart of gold deep down and would do anything for the people he cares about. (Just like a cat.)

I would also make him more alien esc. In terms of design I like the idea of Keith having red eyes with narrow pupils and fangs. And also just small things like the way he walks and holds himself. He growls and bears his teeth when he’s angry, his hair puffs up when scared, he’s fast and agile, disappearing and reappearing without making much noise, small things.

Then you have his race and sexuality. I have no doubt in my mind that Keith was intended to be a straight white dude. A lot of people see him as gay and Asian but there’s no evidence for this in canon. Acxa was originally intended to be his love interest and his race was never mentioned in canon. His name isn’t even Kogane in canon. (And the race of the voice actor doesn’t equal the race of the character. If that was the case Shiro, Hunk, and Lance would be white.)

They should’ve totally made Keith Japanese like he was in the original. It would’ve been so easy! Just canonize Kogane as his last name and have the book say he’s half Japanese half Galra. They could’ve also done what they did with Shiro and keep his og GoLion name. Just have him be Akira Kogane. Definitely cooler than “Keith.”

And as for his sexuality, I definitely think they should’ve had Keith be gay. But well get to that Later...

I also don’t like how they handled the whole Krolia thing. Not only was it crazy rushed, but it completely goes against the shows theme of found family.

Keith’s arc should’ve been about overcoming his abandonment issues and learning to accept the paladins as family. But instead they just get rid of the abandonment issues by just giving him his mom back.

I know a lot of people love Krolia but I don’t feel like she should’ve been introduced in anything other than flashbacks. Because Keith’s mom isn’t really that important. The show is about found family and friendship, not blood relation.

You can definitely have Keith learn about his mom and his family, but I feel like giving him his mom back was too much.

Personally, I always headcanoned that Kolivan was Keith’s grandfather or just a close friend of Krolia’s, and when Keith showed up at the Blade’s base Kolivan recognized the blade as his Krolia’s. Keith could learn about his mom through Kolivan telling him about her, how she was a great person and warrior who died fighting to make the universe a safer place for her son.

Another thing I didn’t like was the whole Keith leaving the team for the Blades thing. I know why he did it, he felt like the team was gonna reject him, he wanted to be more useful, and wanted to learn about his family, but I feel like you could’ve touched on all that without having him abandon his team.

One of the biggest problems with the show is that they did a bad job at establishing the paladins as friends, they feel like coworkers more than anything, and I feel like Keith being absent for two seasons contributed to that.

And his absence is hardly addressed. The team forms Voltron perfectly without him and no one ever says they miss him. Keith doesn’t even seem like he missed them after being gone for two years.

And a lot of the weight was taken out of that Keith v Kuron fight by the fact that Keith and Kuron hardly interacted.

That whole thing amounted to four things, Keith meeting Krolia (which I don’t think should’ve happened), them finding the colony (which was a dumb plot I don’t think should’ve happened), Keith aging up two years (which was weird and unnecessary), and Keith meeting Kosmo (which is... complicated).

I don’t think this plot was necessary. Keith should’ve stayed with his team.

Then you have his relationship with Lance. I know people are very sensitive about this topic. People have very strong opinions about whether or not Keith and Lance were intended to be romantically coded.

Personally, I do like Klance but I don’t believe they were romantically coded. I think if you want them to get together some things would have to go differently.

For example, the bonding moment. In canon, Lance tells Keith, “we make a good team.” I don’t see this as referring to him and Keith. I think he was talking about the whole team. If you want it to be about the two of them, I feel like it should be Lance telling Keith something like, “ya know, you’re not so bad after all,” and then Keith smiles and responds, “you’re not so bad yourself.”

Another example could be the scene where Lance comes to Keith with his insecurities. (Whether it’s as a leader or a friend.) This scene was weird in canon, Lance comes to Keith for advice and Keith basically tells him to just stop thinking about it.

I would prefer if Lance brought up to Keith how he doesn’t feel like he’s good enough or that he doesn’t have, “a thing,” and Keith is completely dumbfounded like, “what are you even talking about?” He goes on about all the good shit about Lance. Talks about how Blue chose him, how he’s a great shot, how he’s good at dealing with people, meanwhile Lance is standing there in shock as Keith says all these nice things about him.

Over all you would just have to develop their relationship more. More meaningful interactions. And if you want the relationship to be romantic you would have to establish that early on. Establish that one or both has romantic feelings for the other in like S1/S2 because if you wait too long it’s gonna feel forced/out of no where.

And then... you have the Black Paladin arc... I’m gonna be real with y’all, this is the arc that killed the show for me, for a few reasons.

One, even ignoring the whole quintessence bond thing, it makes no sense for Keith to be the bp. He doesn’t fit the role. I adore Shiro but choosing Keith as his successor was a dumb move. I get that he saw potential in Keith but they’re are fighting a war, there’s no room for favoritism.

Shiro should’ve chosen Allura as his successor. Not only does she have actual leadership experience, but you would only have one paladin in a new Lion instead of three.

If a lifeguard breaks his leg and can’t work, he should choose an experienced swimmers to take his place, not his little bro that’s still in water wings in the hopes that it’ll teach him to swim.

Two, Keith being the bp doesn’t help his arc. Keith’s arc is about overcoming his abandonment issues and learning to be a team player, he doesn’t need to be the leader for that.

VLD should’ve been about the paladins growing into the best versions of themselves they could be. Their development shown by unlocking new abilities in their respective lions, new forms for their bayards, and new Voltron bayard power ups. They shouldn’t have to change lions and themselves.

Keith and Red have a strong bond and work great together. Keith and Red are both temperamental, unpredictable, and have issues with trust. Keith having to fight to get Red to trust and open up to him mirrors how others have to fight to earn Keith’s trust and get him to let down his walls.

It would’ve been interesting to see them grow together. Keith has no emotional connection with Black.

We never even get to see them bond. Keith just suddenly becomes the “perfect” bp/leader because he got over his mommy issues

Three, it’s a MASSIVE disservice to Shiro’s character. Shiro put all the work in earning his position as the bp, he literally fits fought Zarkon on the astral plane to earn her trust, yet Keith is the true bp? What?

It sucks. Sendak told Shiro that a monster like him could never be a paladin and the writers went and proved him right. Hell Shiro didn’t even get to kill Sendak, Keith got that too.

And don’t tell me, “but he got the Atlas!” REALLY!? A massive Deus ex machina that required absolutely no effort from him to acquire!? Filled with a bunch of rando background characters no one gives a shit about!? You’re totally right, that 100% makes up for it.

I could go on and on about how the treatment of Shiro in this show (and fandom) is blatantly ableist but that’s a rant for another time.

It sucks. I want to like Keith! He had the potential to be an amazing character but the writers just kept on trying to turn him into something he wasn’t and it ruined him for me.

They kept trying to turn Keith into the main character and ignored that ALL the paladins are the main characters. It’s an ensemble cast! You don’t have to have everything come back to one guy.

#voltron #voltron legendary defender #voltron legendary discourse #vld #vld critical #keith kogane #keith vld #red paladin keith #klance #krolia #black paladin shiro #takashi shirogane #vld shiro #black lion #red lion #galra #galra keith #blade of marmora

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sevlgi · 3 years

Text

promises, promises

requested: yes

group: dreamcatcher

pairing: bora x fem!reader (plus bora x siyeon)

genre: basically just angst

contents: established!relationship between bora and siyeon but they don’t love each other, coworker!au, y/n just pines alone lmfao, but there IS a happy ending

warnings: none

synopsis: Bora and Siyeon are so used to their relationship that it feels like they can’t ever change. But at this point, is continuing together really their best option?

a/n: afdfasfkasdn i hope y’all like this!!!

word count: 2.6k

“Hey, Bora, if you’re coming home tonight, can you bring some takeout?”

The word ‘if’ echoes in Bora’s headphones as she stares at her phone screen. Siyeon said the word so offhandedly in her message, obviously used to her girlfriend’s constant absent and apparently unfazed by it, but it stops Bora herself right in the middle of the road as she listens to the message.

Honestly, her situation with Siyeon is... difficult. They’ve lived together for years, so they’re both used to having schedules that never match. To an outsider, the minimal amount of time that they actually spend together would be nothing short of a red flag, but neither Bora nor Siyeon think much of it.

There’s a certain comfort of knowing what waits for you at home, even if it is figurative most of the time. Bora has had the same emergency contact for years, and she always knows who to call if she has left something at home. She never has to call a babysitter, and whenever she gets hit on, she can say that she has a girlfriend of 5 years.

But maybe saying it like that sounds too much like a business contract.

The harsh reality is that the rare time she does spend with Siyeon is almost always filled with stilted silence, made awkward by two people both too exhausted to put effort into their relationship. And when it isn’t that suffocating silence between them, it’s anger, arguments that can be brought on by the most marginal mistaken word.

All of that culminates into the fact that Bora doesn’t really go home. Neither of them have the energy to actually talk things through, but neither of them want to let go of that familiar stability either. So they’re girlfriends by name, and nothing else in their hearts.

Bora supposes that it’s as much her fault as it is Siyeon’s.

“Yo, Bora!”

A smile prods the corner of her mouth up, and she pockets the phone. “Wassup, bro?” she calls sarcastically, accepting the overly enthusiastic fist-bump from you anyway. “Since when do you greet me with ‘yo’, especially when you’re about to ask for a ride home?”

You pout. “Is it that obvious?”

“You never come after me after work ends for any other reason, so, yes.” Bora opens the passenger side of her car for you anyway, spinning her keys around her index finger. There’s a hammered silver heart hanging off the other side with her and Siyeon’s initials.

“If you wanted my company more often, all you had to do is say so,” you sigh. As always, you reach for the aux and plug it into your phone. “Are we making any pit stops along the way? Because I’ll shoot you a coffee as payment if you want it.”

“Actually, I’m gonna pick up some takeout for me and Siyeon.”

“Oh. Cool.” You pick some song that you’ve played at least 10 times in the past week, but Bora doesn’t comment on it.

She can’t help but notice that her passenger’s seat bears more evidence of you sitting there than anyone else. The seat itself is adjusted to the way you like it, and you have a habit of leaving your phone in the exact same place on the dashboard, the only rectangle that isn’t covered in dust.

Bora isn’t actually sure about how Siyeon would adjust her seat, actually. Before she can stop herself, she asks you, “Hey, Y/N. What would you say is strictly necessary for a relationship to work?”

You glance at her, surprised. “Uh. Are you forgetting that I’m single?”

“I’m taking that as a sign that the date from last night didn’t go well?” When you shake your head, Bora sighs, “Sorry to bring it up, then.”

“No, no, it’s fine. We only went out like three times.” You lean back to think about the question, biting on your bottom lip as you do. It’s endearing. “I think... sacrifice.”

“Sacrifice? What, like Simba’s dad sacrifice?” Bora tries to joke.

You roll your eyes, “You watch too much Disney, dumbass. I mean like... taking pictures together because one person likes to, even if the other doesn’t. Alternating your favorite pastas, taking like one hour of work off each to have a date night. That kind of sacrifice.”

“Oh. I get it, I think.” Bora does understand it; she thinks about how often Yoohyeon misses a day of work, because she claims that one paycheck isn’t worth a missed anniversary. She thinks about how JiU does the pasta thing despite not really liking Yoohyeon’s favorite, and she thinks about how she and Siyeon never do that anymore. “Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

Bora gets out of the car to get takeout at one point, but she’s deep in thought for the rest of the ride home, even when you wave her goodbye at your own place. Sacrifice, huh?

She thinks that the only thing she sacrifices is her wallet.

Siyeon opens the door for her with a small smile, though, which makes Bora happy enough. Her girlfriend says, “I’m gonna guess you got Chinese?”

“Thai,” Bora shakes her head. The apartment is cold because Siyeon read somewhere that it helps you fall asleep faster, but Bora herself hates it. “I don’t eat Chinese food much anymore, remember?”

“Since when?” Siyeon frowns, locking the door behind her. “Last I remembered, your favorite food was those dumb little dumplings from the place down the street.”

“Last year, yeah. It doesn’t matter, though, let’s eat. What did you do today?”

It’s a boring question, but the other woman accepts it gratefully. “Uh, went to work early, but I got lunch with my mom.”

“Oh? How is she?” Bora questions, already spreading the takeout boxes all over the table. She hasn’t seen Siyeon’s mom in a while, but she misses the motherly figure.

Siyeon shrugs and reaches for her chopsticks. “She’s fine. She wants to know when we’re getting married.”

Bora’s heart stops, and not in the good way. She and Siyeon have talked about marriage before, but it was all in the honeymoon stage, when they first started dating years ago. “Oh? What did you tell her?”

Her girlfriend raises an eyebrow. “That we aren’t even engaged, obviously. Unless I missed an important conversation?”

“N- yeah.” Bora stuffs a shrimp in her mouth to quiet herself, at least for a little bit. It’s not that she doesn’t want to get married-- she just doesn’t want anything to change.

Of course, Siyeon doesn’t let her shock at the question go. “What?” she prods. “Is getting married that scary?”

“I mean... do you want us to get married?”

Siyeon hesitates at that. Eventually, she shakes her head in silence, and that’s enough of an answer.

There’s really nothing wrong with their relationship. But as Siyeon bids goodnight right after she finishes eating, and Bora remains in the living room, she thinks that there might not be anything right anymore either.

Bora asks about the closest engagement ring store before she can stop herself, and you stare at her. “Are you two getting engaged?”

“No. Well, it’s complicated,” Bora sighs, turning right when her phone tells her to. “Siyeon’s mother wants us to get married, and I was thinking about what you were saying. It’s time to make some sacrifices.”

You stammer, “Th- that’s not really what I meant? I meant, like, take a day or two off work and get a vacation together, maybe talk things out for more than a minute? Not... proposing. Bora, I don’t...”

“Well, what would you do if you were in my shoes? Or, better yet--” Bora holds up a hand-- “what would you do if you were Siyeon? How would you deal with me, your girlfriend of 5 years?”

Suddenly, you feel like it’s 500 degrees in the car. But you answer, “I’d... I’d plan a trip. One of those cruises that offer dinners, and then I’d just try and talk with you. Bora, do you really think you’re in the right state to get married?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Bora questions. “We’re comfortable, you know. Siyeon got promoted a month ago, we make more than enough money to afford a wedding, and we’ve been together for so long, I don’t know anything without her.”

“I don’t mean financially,” you sigh. “I mean... do you think she’d say yes? Are you happy?”

‘Do you think she’d say yes?’ To be completely honest, Bora doesn’t know. She doesn’t even know what kind of a ring Siyeon would want, though she does know her ring size. She answers forcefully, “She will. I know it.”

“Okay.” You lean back, thumbs fiddling with your phone. “Bora? Would you mind dropping me off at work first? I don’t think I’ll be much help if I go with you.”

Bora nods. “Sure.”

She ends up buying a simple ring with a blue stone, something that won’t really make a dent in either of their bank accounts, but will still be enough for Siyeon to show off. The box is a heavy weight in Bora’s pocket as she arrives home, quite a bit earlier than she normally does.

“Siyeon-ah?” she asks, rapping on the door as she pushes it open.

“Bora? You’re home early,” her girlfriend replies, turning from where she is at the sink. For some reason, Bora’s relieved that it’s all Siyeon does at home when she’s alone, though there’s no reason for her to suspect anything else. “Did you get off work early?”

“Uh, I took time off.” Bora sets her bag down and takes her jacket off, watching Siyeon open the fridge for something else. “I... remember when your mom asked when we’d get married?”

“Yeah. I remember that, why?” Siyeon silently hands her a glass of water.

Instead of saying anything else, Bora takes the box out of her pocket and pops it open before sliding it over the counter. Blue glints brilliantly under the kitchen’s lights, but even to her, it looks dull.

Siyeon glances at her in surprise, saying softly, “Bora... that’s not what I meant when I told you what she said.”

“Then what did you mean?”

The younger woman sighs, leaning against the counter with her arms crossed. “I. Look, aren’t we happy just as we are?”

A little bit of anger fires up in the pit of Bora’s stomach. It isn’t that she seriously wants to get married, or that it matters all that much that Siyeon doesn’t seem to, but she put in the effort. Like you had told her to, she made a sacrifice, and it hurts a bit that it doesn’t have the effect she wishes it did. “You tell me, Siyeon. Didn’t you tell me when we started dating that getting married was your goal?” Bora demands.

“I did, and that was 5 years ago,” Siyeon snaps back. “Why are you so hellbent on this, anyway? I thought you never wanted to get married.”

Bora hesitates, but she still ends up being honest. She answers quietly, “To make a relationship work, we have to make sacrifices.”

“Don’t--”

“Siyeon. Do you still love me?”

“Obviously! What kind of a question even is that?” Siyeon bites back, anger starting to furrow her eyebrows. Bora wishes she could say that it’s an unfamiliar sight, but it isn’t anymore. “Who told you all that sacrifice bullshit anyway?”

“Y/N, not that it matters.” Bora’s hands clutching tightly in her hair, she sighs, “Look, I got it wrong, okay? I’ll return the ring--”

Siyeon interrupts, “Bora, do you know why Y/N told you sacrifices make relationships work?”

When the older woman doesn’t respond, Siyeon just continues, “It’s because she’s the one making sacrifices. She understands what ‘sacrifices’ should be in a relationship, and it isn’t you buying an engagement ring when neither of us want to get married at all.”

“Look, I don’t want to talk about it right now, okay?” Bora snatches the box up from the counter and grabs her keys again. “I’m going out.”

“What, to talk to Y/N?” Bora turns to stare at Siyeon, who only stands there with crossed arms and the air that says she knows she’s right.

Bora doesn’t respond, but she does slam the front door after her a little too hard.

Whenever she needs to talk to you, Bora takes advantage of the fact that you can always be found in one corner of the office. Unlike all your other coworkers, who like to roam and chat, you’re always in the same space, unless Bora drags you out.

And she does, slamming her palms down on either side of your desk. You don’t flinch, and she says lowly, “I need to talk to you.”

“Okay, but did you have to mess up my sticky notes?” you attempt to joke. Bora just grabs your wrist to tug you out of the office, leading you straight to her car without a word to anyone else. “Bora. Bora, what is this about?”

She takes a breath as soon as the two of you are sitting down, your eyes completely trained on her as she says, “Siyeon said something.”

“Oh. I’m assuming you aren’t engaged, then?”

“What- no. No, nothing close,” Bora sighs. “I tried making a sacrifice like you told me to, because I thought she wanted to get married. Spoiler, she doesn’t.”

You groan, placing your head in your hands. “Bora, that isn’t what I meant.”

Siyeon’s words about you understanding ‘sacrifice’ ring in the other woman’s head, but Bora stays silent and lets you continue, “Look, sacrifice in a relationship doesn’t mean literally sacrificing your own wants and stuff. It means accommodating the person you love, going out of your way to do nice things without doing damage to yourself.”

“Like you do?” Bora’s voice is soft, almost too soft for you to catch, but you do hear it.

And instead of an adverse reaction, instead of denying it, you nod. “Yeah.”

Silence fills the car, and you don’t dare to raise your head. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I don’t think I ever knew.”

“No, I know you didn’t.” You sigh and reach over to fiddle with the keychain you left on the passenger door handle. “I mean, you were so in love when we met. And now...”

“I’m not,” she finishes.

You shrug, “Well, that’s up to you to figure out. You’ve figured me out, anyway. And I’ve waited this long, I won’t blame you for whatever decision you do make.”

“What if you didn’t have to wait?”

Bora suddenly remembers the box sitting in her pocket, and digs it out. She doesn’t know if it’ll fit your finger, or if you’ll even like it, but it’s spontaneous, and Bora thinks it’s the way that things should be. “Take it,” she offers, “as a promise. I know what I have to do, but I want to promise to you that... I’ll come back to you. And I think I should promise that I’ll start loving you the way you’ve loved me.”

You take the box gently, and as light as it is, Bora feels a weight taken away. You’ve always had that effect on her, after all. “Okay. I accept your promise, and I’ll wait. For you.”

The ring is a little tight, and you put it on your pinky instead of the normal fingers, but it feels secure. It feels like Bora will keep her promise this time, to both her and you.

#dreamcatcher #dreamcatcher x reader #sua x reader #dreamcatcher sua #kim bora #sua #sua imagines #sua scenarios #dreamcatcher scenarios #dreamcatcher bora #dreamcatcher reactions #dreamcatcher imagines #girl group imagines #girl group scenarios #dreamcatcher icons

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secret-diary-of-an-fa · 3 years

Text

Dune 2021 Review and Baron Harkonnen’s Top Diet Tips

Crikey! Dune (2021) is bloody excellent! Here’s the deal, gentle reader- I love everything to do with Dune- the original novel; the subsequent and much weirder novels; the Sy-Fy Original adaptations; even the surreal, nonsensical David Lynch take. At the risk of being strung up from a lamppost by the sci-fi community, I actually enjoy the books Brian Herbert, Son of Frank, wrote to pad out the universe, despite the radical departure from the style of the originals. However, it’s rare to find a piece of media that really truly, successfully adapts the book. Dune (2021), however, is one of the most startlingly dense, faithful and yet dynamic adaptations I’ve ever come across. A palpable love for the source text bubbles through every molecule of every frame and the result is something that truly shines.

But, you don’t go to Baron Vladamir Harkonnen for diet tips and you don’t come to me for jubilant praise of something everyone already knows is good. You go to Baron Vladimir Harkonnen for shady dealings and sexually charged eye-contact and you come to me for overanalysis and knit-picking. Yes, I could go on and on and endlessly bloody on about how amazingly well-realised shield technology is and how grandiose and spectacular the battles are and how brilliant it is to see honest-to-fuck Sandworms realised with the benefit of modern cinematic technology… but y’all already knew that. So instead, I’d like to offer some slightly more side-note-y thoughts that might not have crossed your mind.

First of all, Paul Atreides himself. This time round, he’s played by the perturbingly ageless Timothée Chalamet and it’s a really unique interpretation. Generally, Paul is played as essentially heroic with overtones of the martyr. Chalamet draws on a different aspect of Book Paul to bring to the movies, however: he gives our protagonist a slightly sinister cast. It’s not explicit- but there are moments when it feels like Chalamet is keeping us at arms length; not letting us know what’s going on Paul’s head because it wouldn’t be… savoury. Without giving too much away, there’s a moment when Paul first learns that he might be the Kwisatz Haderach (if you’re not a Dune fan, don’t even ask: I ain’t got all day) and it’s the kind of information that yer typical protagonist would find world-shattering; the weight of responsibility and the unnatural position he holds in relation to the rest of humanity conspiring to crush him. But Chalamet’s Paul Atreides just sort of… smiles to himself. And it’s really fucking eerie. Later, he has visions of genocide being conducted in his name and freaks out about it, but afterwards, he consciously chooses the path that he knows must lead down that route because he feels the weight of destiny pressing on him. And possibly because of Chani, but that’s another discussion. The point is that Paul remains a ‘hero’ in the mythic sense, but not necessarily in the conventionally-sympathetic sense. We the audience get just enough hints that something isn’t quite right to start wondering what, exactly, is broken behind Paul’s eyes; what part of the essential clockwork of humanity is bent out of shape; just how close to full-on madness is this dude. It’s a brave choice and one that works really well in context.

Secondly, the relationships in the film are actually better fleshed-out than they are in the book. That’s not a criticism of the book, incidentally, it’s just that the book was about big, complicated ideas and people were just sort of motes within the tides of those ideas. Of necessity, a film has to be about people interacting with people. It’s something that a lot of adaptations forget but this one doesn’t. The result is that we get a lot of humanising moments for Duncan Idaho, Gurney Halleck et al that would otherwise be absent and which serve to make us feel for them when horrible shit starts happening… and to make us feel for Paul when he finds out about it. Even though, in this version, he’s kind of a psycho (see Thing One).

Finally, let’s take a moment to appreciate how diverse the casting is in this flick. Usually, when a movie casts in the way Dune 2021 is cast, it’s a desperate bit for relevancy in the modern world that ends up feeling unnecessary and trite. Dune however, strikes the perfect balance and none of it feels like stunt casting- it’s just that the film is set in the unimaginably distant future and our present day ideas of race and national identity just don’t apply. The people of the far future have their own cultural divides to worry about and don’t give a fuck about ours, so it just doesn’t really come up. The only time the casting feels weird is when they get big-name actors to adopt roles that are really, radically different from their accepted personas. Case in point: I’m not sure Aquaman and Duncan Idaho are really cut from the same cloth. It’s also especially surreal to see MJ from the recent Spider-Man films as Chani, Paul’s mainly-only-in-visions love interest. But hey, I guess the director had to get Warner Bros. to put up the big bucks somehow. To counterbalance this point, it’s less odd than you’d expect to see Liet Kynes transmuted into a sassy black woman. However, I do expect it to produce some really suspect art over on DeviantArt.

Every generation seems to get its own Dune. First there was the book. Then the David Lynch adaptation. Then the Sy-Fy miniseries. Now we have Dune (2021), which will be concluded with a second half in 2023. Each iteration feels very much of its time, which could have been very, very bad for this version. After all, our era of cinema is characterised by slack-jawed pandering to the Twitterati and ill-advised, context-missing gender-flips. Luckily, this Dune avoids the traps of the current era (well, for the most part) and instead reflects the best aspects of our film-making efforts: the embrace of long-form storytelling and the commitment to world-building and characterisation over a rushed-through plot. It takes the tools of modern cinema and its visual language and uses it create one of the best adaptations of one of the best books in science fiction.

Yeah. Sorry. You’re getting mindless fanboy praise after all. In other news, I hear Baron Harkonnen’s bringing out a book of low-fat recipes you can make with the entrails of your political enemies. On that note: sod off.

#Secret Diary of a Fat Admirer #Dune #dune 2021

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cadaceus · 3 years

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C2E141

One last time, y’all. This campaign and these characters have meant so much to me, and this seven hour finale was definitely an emotional rollercoaster. (Yes, I shed actual tears at one point, which rarely happens to me with media. But this is a special occasion.) These liveblogs are nearly as long as the episode itself, so grab a snack! With that being said, here are my very last liveblogs for Campaign 2 of Critical Role. As always, major spoilers below, so beware.

- Veth taking a level in Wizard, god I am really gonna cry ten minutes into this thing... 😭

- We got our first “stay with us” to Essek, I am emo...

- I was fully not expecting to say goodbye to Frumpkin, but now I’m on the verge of tears... farewell dear fey friend (Marisha saying “that wasn’t supposed to be what broke me” me too me too)

- “You’re a good person.” “I could be.” “You are.”

- “I think you’re a good person” I never thought that I’d hear Beau say that about Essek and this genuinely might be what breaks me... she thinks he’s a good person.... redemption is possible.... maybe love is real....

- If I end up crying over wizards, look away

- Jester lifting up Fjord’s arm to snuggle beneath it made me say “awww” out loud 🥺

- VETH GOING FOR A DIP IN THE POND, I AM GENUINELY SO PROUD OF HER

- “Aahhh!! It’s me! Your wife!” I am going to miss Jester’s sending so much

- Okay that accent bit was so funny, I am going to miss all of them so much

- REAL MOLLY IS BACK REAL MOLLY IS BACK REAL MOLLY IS BACK

- Oh but he doesn’t remember them... and Yasha is trying so hard to help him remember, it’s so so sweet

- Something about the way he said “Tealeaf’s nice” made me tear up... I was neutral on Mollymauk early campaign because I went into things knowing that he passed away, but this whole conversation with the Mighty Nein is So Much. Also “Kingsley Tealeaf”

- “Everyone should have a brother” as someone with three of them, I vouch for this 🥺

- a) I love Marion Lavorre (and Jester ofc!) so very much and b) I can’t believe that Jester’s parent trap actually worked??

- “I do not think Exandria is ready for how you’re going to change it” got to me... and it’s also so true. jester has already changed the world just by being kind.

- Good bye Marion... I love and will miss you so much! (And many thanks to Laura and Matt for creating an agoraphic single mother who raised a wonderful child <3)

- Beau and Jester teasing Marion for having a complicated relationship with Babenon reminds me of Caleb saying he has a complicated relationship with Essek...

- LEAVE CALEB ALON E FUOIKJLKGKNL

- THIS IS ....... SO MUCH WORSE THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.

- Caleb’s biggest trauma(s) coming back to haunt him, I am genuinely going to cry I’m not ready for this I’m not okay

- Beau saying to Jester “Thanks, cutie” I love themmmmm

- INITIATIVE AAGJASKHDKJ AAAAAHHHH

- Essek’s Gravity Sinkhole did nothing? uhhhhh Mr Stark...

- EADWULF???? HELLO?????

- Essek using his entire turn to save Caleb last battle 🤝 Caleb using his entire turn to save Essek this battle

- ASTRID???? I TRUSTED YOU??? WE ALL TRUSTED YOU????

- Another Counterspell chain sdfdghjkdl wizards !!!

- “It’s just business” is literally the Neutral Evil line, it always gives me chills when any character says it

- This hurts more after Liam confirming on Twitter that Astrid/Caleb/Eadwulf were all three a romantic item... please stop hurting Caleb, you loved him 😭

- THE FJORD VS EADWULF SWORD FIGHT IS SO CINEMATIC I LOVE IT HERE ACTUALLY

- Essek taking every opportunity to pull Caleb to safety makes me so emotional... 😭

- “You’re not the first student I’ve had to put down” I am burning with my anger for you, old man

- THE DISPEL WORKED LET’S GO CALEB.....

- Remember when Matt said that Essek doesn’t openly show concern/emotion? And now he’s saying “I’m scared” in front of his closest friends and his worst enemies.... growth my love.....

- BEAU AND VETH LETS GO CHAOS CREW LETS MF GO BABEYYYY!!!

- FJORD COUNTERSPELLING THE DIMENSION DOOR..... and Matt having him describe it.... is this taking the place of a “HDYWTDT” *eyes emoji*

- CALEB GOING DOWN NO, THANK GOD FOR THAT DEATH WARD

- Veth’s illusion of Caleb’s parents flanking Caleb in the flames.... that got me too, Liam

- “Stay down.” yeah, okay, that was sexy

- ASTRID BEING THE ONE TO ACTIVATE THE COLLAR IS LITERALLY POETIC JUSTICE... Trent being beaten by the student who stuck with him longest I love this so much, she deserved that moment honestly

- Break Time, AKA Emma Makes Her Weekly Mug Brownie Interlude

- Sometimes I feel like “death is too good for you” is a copout, but in this case it fits so well, I want this mf’s reputation destroyed and the entire operation exposed and overthrown let’s goooo

- “I loved you both so much”.... Astrid and Eadwulf walking away.... oh, Blumendrei... I know this is not the end of your story. What’s past is prologue, loves

- The Empire Siblings are gonna burn down the whole system because it’s the system that enables individual corruption... I am so fulfilled by this, god i love them

- “I love you too” OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, FJORESTER ARE THE CUTEST FOR REAL

- Jester and Essek’s friendship still means so much to me btw just in case anyone wanted a check-in

- Veth giving the flask to Kingsley!! Good for her, good for her!

- OH Blumenduo are back already! I truly thought that was going to be their last appearance of the Campaign, why is this taking me more by surprise than Trent’s appearance

- “[Caleb] notes how similar Eadwulf and Fjord are” this is Widofjord adjacent... this episode we have gotten Widomauk-adjacent, Widojest-adjacent, and Widofjord-adjacent (and Blumentrio ofc), now come through Shadowgast and we can get a full Bingo on the “Bisexual Maelstrom” card

- Speaking of relationships, I am lowkey into the Fjord/Jester/Kingsley dynamic LOL no one look at me I’m in hiding

- I’M NOT READY TO SAY GOODBYE TO VETH AND CAD 😭 It makes sense and the fact that they have their families back is beautiful but also consider this: I’m sad and I will miss them

- The goodbyes to Caduceus..... I am going to cry aren’t I?

- “If he’s anything like his mom, you won’t see him until it’s too late” Okay that made me giggle, I love Veth and I love Luc and I love their little family

- IS ESSEK LEAVING TOO? THAT’S GONNA BE WHAT BREAKS ME ISN’T IT

- If Essek leaves and we never see him again, getting a triple whammy of goodbyes I will be so incredibly sad, I cannot do this 😭

- If anyone is interested, no I am not doing well

- I was lowkey ready to get an Essek’s feelings for Caleb confirmation tonight, I guess it makes sense that we didn’t but I hope that this is not the last time we see Essek... I want to write another emo post about him and about how much he means to me but I will refrain

- CALEB BEING A TEACHER IS THE ENDGAME I WANT FOR HIM PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

- Wow, I really was not ready to see Caduceus and Essek go for some reason... I really wanted this Campaign to end on the image of the Mighty Nein together as all nine of them... I’m feeling so numb right now having to say goodbye 😭

- Oh, we’re in the epilogue now!

- When Fjord said “[the sea] is my favorite place to be” I genuinely felt that on a spiritual level... the ocean is home, it truly is and always will be for me as well

- “I CAST MODIFY MEMORY” FJORD LMAOOOOOOO

- Okay, that Widobrave ending is what made me shed tears for the first time this episode... not to be Personal but my biological brother graduates High School tomorrow, and for some reason this conversation just reminded me so much of me and him and now I’m emotional

- NOT THE SYPHILIS BANDITS DSYUHDFJKLSFJ;DS OKAY I NEEDED THAT LAUGH

- “I’d like to hear about your friend” Kingsley aww

- Beau giving Kingsley her first diary to help him realize who they all are is actually so perfectly fitting, I love that!

- “The other eight and I, yes” Caleb counting all nine of them again 😭

- CALEB BEING OFFERED AN ASSEMBLY SEAT WTF AAAHHH

- Oh shit, Astrid took the Assembly seat... I’m not sure how I feel about this, I feel so bad for her for having to stay in the system that abused her for so long and I would have loved to see her burn the whole thing down, but I hope that she at least has a sense of contentment with this title

- “I go where you go, baby” Beauyasha.... my darling loves....

- Beau’s dad??? But also Beau being the one with power over her father is so Good, I’m glad that she got justice on that front as well!

- This talk with Artagan... “I didn’t want you to be a god. I wanted you to be my friend.” and in the process my love you created divinity... maybe divinity is the friends we made along the way

- OH SHIT WE ARE GETTING ALL THE VANDRAN LORE TONIGHT I’M READY LET’S GO LET’S GO

- VANDRAN AND AVANTIKA WERE AN ITEM???

- Wait crack theory: Sabian was a half elf right? Could he be the son of Vandren and Avantika? Or is that too much of a stretch?

- Vandran going with them!!! Also I feel like that moment between Fjord and Vandran was lowkey a tease to a post-campain Uk’otoa one shot and I am ready for it already

- THIS BEAUYASHA MOMENT... “i’ve never known anyone as deeply as i know you” & “explore every bit of you in multiple ways ;)” & “your past doesn’t scare me, it only makes you beautiful” .... this is so much they are so much i love them so much

- “I will have you and then some” Beauyasha 😭

- I’m torn between “oh my god there’s still half an hour left?” and “how is there only half an hour left??”

- “You will let this Skyspear live at least?” oh my god so Yasha killed the last Skyspear then? Oof...

- YASHA GIVING ZUALA(’S GRAVE) THE BOOK OF FLOWERS, OH DEAR HEART

- And Beau’s talk to Zuala about being the luckiest woman alive and sacrifice.... 😭

- PLANTING FLOWERS AT ZUALA’S GRAVE... “NO BETTER GRAVE MARKER” THIS IS MAKING ME SO EMOTIONAL, I KNOW I’VE SAID THIS A LOT THIS EPISODE BUT THIS TRULY IS SO BEAUTIFUL

- So... I may or may not be crying again

- Shadowgast with a steel chair??

- Caleb’s plan for saving his parents... it’s clear he has thought of this so much, oh my darling love 😭

- Caleb burning down his chance to change his past is so symbolic and something he really needed to do, it does make me emotional though

- The other book was him writing to his parents?? Oh bby boy 😭

- While I would have loved for Caleb to open his own magic school (especially with Essek, or the Mighty Nein, or someone else as well), I am so pleased that he stays with Veth and that their friendship continues for the rest of their life because again: they mean so so much to me, and in a way they remind me of me and my biological brother (which I never realized before this episode) and yeah. They just make me Emo

- Also. Caleb being a professor was my Number One Endgame Hope for him and the fact that it came true is just so surreal in the best way possible. I’m so used to being robbed of happy endings. The fact that the Mighty Nein all got theirs makes me incredibly happy. A story does not have to be sad to be impactful. Happy stories and happy endings, especially during a time period of tumultuous real life circumstances, have just as much value and meaning and they always will. Caleb is teaching the next generation magic, and he is teaching them to be Good, and he is nurturing them, and that just means so much

- MATT CRYING IS GONNA GET TO ME

- “Let’s do it again” Please, let’s.

- Okay, everyone. I made it all seven hours in one piece with surprisingly minimal tears (though who knows, this might all sink in tomorrow.) I already wrote my thoughts earlier today about how much the Mighty Nein mean to me and how much this show and these characters have kept me holding on during quarantine and today... I’m still not ready to let them go, but I know that I can always revisit to say hello and to say thank you for changing me. Until then though... I love you all more than you could ever know. And for the last time of Campaign 2... is it Thursday yet?

Good night 💗

#cr spoilers #critical role spoilers #c2e141 #critical role #my liveblogs #cr2 #i genuinely can't believe this is the end y'all... what a journey. what a freaking journey 💗#to anyone who has ever interacted with even one of my liveblogs: i love you and i think about you every damn day dfghjkflf #it makes me Emo knowing that i'm not just speaking to the void and that there are ppl out there listening etc #also this liveblog was TWO THOUSAND WORDS LONG i checked it in a google doc sgdhjkdl #so if you made it through all that you may be entitled to financial compensation #but in all seriousness: i love you mighty nein. and thank you for everything.#is it thursday yet?#queue #(i always queue these for the mornings dgfhjk!)#and yes i WILL be liveblogging campaign 3 #also mayhaps this hiatus will be time for me to catch up with vox machina?

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afoolforatook · 4 years

Text

V8 Ch 4 and Qrow’s speech about Clover. And how we talk about how a character grieves, versus how grief is handled by writers.

So I really shouldn’t post this tonight because it’s 4 am and I’m tired and I’ve been thinking about this too much today already and this is something I should read over more..... But I’ve got to get it out before I can try to sleep. So, first off I apologize if this comes across poorly, or overly confrontational. It’s not at all how I mean it and I’m genuinely not upset with literally anyone. Just seeing some things that have me thinking about this more and more and it has me a little concerned, and I want to talk about it a bit more directly.

I’ll probably add to this later or clarify or something… I just had to get it out of my head.

I already talked about this some in response to theonceoverthinker’s post about it, and I’m too tired to try to cover all of that again, so if you want more context on how I feel about this, and why, please go read it.

But I’ve seen some more posts about this conversation, and while for the most part I agree with a lot of what’s being said (and often on both sides of whether or not this was a good speech from Qrow) there’s one thing that I do want to address a little more that I think a lot of people aren’t aware of.

In talking about this it’s important that we differentiate between having a problem with how we think the writers are going to use this speech to frame things, and having a problem with the fact that Qrow said what he said in the context of his current emotional state and grieving process.

Do I think this was just amazing perfect writing and handling of Qrow expressing these feelings? Absolutely not. I have plenty of issues and really can’t say how I feel about it until I know where they are taking it/how they are using it to frame the entire situation.

Do I think it was just inherently awful callous dialogue that frames Clover as only important to Qrow because of his semblance and what that meant for Qrow/interaction with his semblance?

Absolutely not.

And that’s exactly where I have a bit of an issue.

Because I totally understand people’s concern with that speech. And I have a very hard time right now trusting that CRWBY will handle it properly and not just use it to turn the narrative into blaming Clover. I don’t know if I trust them or not. I just don’t know. And that is deeply concerning.

But the just surface of what Qrow said, without knowing how they will use it and further show his feelings, is not just the inherently awful thing I’m seeing some people take it as. And the reasons I’ve seen for people saying so, while completely valid things to take issue with in regards to CRWBY’s intentions in writing them, can’t just be blanket applied as issues with the fact that Qrow said them at all. (this is one of the things I feel fairly certain I’m not explaining well rn, and I’m just too tired to figure out. So I hope it at all makes sense).

My point is; depending on how things go from here on out, CRWBY may be completely wrong for why they included these lines and what they are having them mean. But Qrow, as a character, is not inherently wrong for having said or felt them.

I can totally see why you would interpret these lines as concerning, and just plain poor takes on how to frame what happened in ch 12, and who to blame, and the nature of Clover’s importance to Qrow.. And like I said, it could very well be intended that way and negate everything I’m saying here. But by itself it’s not so black and white horrible.

And this is exactly why I’m so nervous about how they handle Qrow’s grief. Because grief is a complicated thing. And what someone like me, who has processed a similar grief in a similar way, gets from this kind of scene can be very different to someone who hasn’t. And all of this said, I’m not trying to assume what anyone else has been through, or invalidate any grief, it’s very likely that others have dealt with a similar loss and feel very differently, or experienced their grief very differently. But, what I hope we all can agree on is that no one has the right to tell someone else they are grieving wrong.

The thing about the kind of grief that Qrow is dealing with right now? It’s very rarely shown how people actually deal with it, especially in more than just one short scene. And if it is, it’s often romanticised and sterilized to be made into something easily understood by people who haven’t gone through anything like that.

Because the truth is, this kind of grief is ugly. It’s complicated and contradicts itself. It can seem selfish and self absorbed. It is angry and reactionary.

And it is very easy to say that what Qrow said is toxic or wrong. But it’s not. The intention the writers have in having him say it that way very well might be. But just what he said?

Y’all that’s fucking grief.

Fresh. Ugly. Messy. Angry. Confused. Tired. Grief.

Healthy grief does not mean fair, clear headed, sensitive, open minded takes from the get go.

Grief is incredibly flawed and unflattering.

And what concerns me is seeing people say it was outright terribly written dialogue, that was callous, and showed that Qrow didn’t really care about Clover beyond how he made him feel better about his semblance.

Because when you’re grieving like that, one of the biggest fears is that people will tell you you are grieving wrong. That you’re being selfish. That you’re making it all about you. That somehow the way you are grieving proves that you didn’t really love the person as much as you thought. That if you just loved them more, if you were less selfish, if you were just a better person, you wouldn’t think those kinds of things.

And you internalise that shit. You internalise even just the fear of people thinking that. And that’s how people close up about their grief. That’s how people feel guilty for how they grieve. And that makes actually processing your grief and starting to heal so much harder, if not impossible.

Qrow is still in the immediate aftermath of this loss. I’m awful with the exact timeline, but it’s what, like somewhere around 48 hours? With continued trauma going on around him.

It is literally not possible for him to process everything fully like this.

The fact is that someone struggling with that kind of grief and trauma, and it having happened in a situation as complicated as what happened on the tundra (regardless of how terribly all of it was written), they’re going to say things that seem selfish. Or even victim blaming. Because they are processing. They are having to reconcile their own hurt and anger and grief and confusion. Fight between how they feel about the person they’ve lost, and their instinct to, in some way, protect themselves from a painful truth of how things really happened or who was to blame, or what mistakes they made. Even with Qrow accepting some of that blame, maybe even way more than he should, he’s still going to reflexively try to avoid taking parts of it that are particularly painful. I hate 90% of how people think of the stages of grief, mostly because they are not the clear linear thing that is often thought of. But this is the anger in a sense. It’s a protective lashing out. “If Clover had only!-” He wants to be angry, wants to be able to just say Clover was wrong, but as soon as he does he cuts himself off. He feels bad for trying to put the blame on Clover. That’s natural.

Is it cool if CRWBY is trying to frame that as right? Fuck no. But the fact that Qrow is feeling it, is expressing it, is struggling with it back and forth? There is nothing wrong with that.

Hell. Qrow even being able to say that it was his fault in some way, that he chose wrong in working with Tyrian, but then also stand firm in that he did not actually kill Clover, and apparently this is not the first time he’s said that. It might not be perfect. But the fact that he can even be there at this point is huge.

I have said nearly exactly that same speech. I said and thought things in the first week, even months, of my grief, that, even at the time, I knew were selfish. Were making everything about me. I hated myself for it. But I couldn’t stop it. And If I had tried? I wouldn’t have processed everything. I would have chastised myself for feeling things that I thought were wrong to feel. That’s not how you process grief. It’s how you get stuck in it.

But the way Qrow looks at the pin? The way he pulls his thumb over it. The weak little laugh. The way he rushes to hide it. The fact that the first time we see him really asserting himself and his innocence is when Harriet threatens to take it from him.

I know all of that. That exact expression, movement.

He is so close to breaking. And he’s Qrow. He’s self conscious, self hating, isolating, Qrow. Talking about how this just confirms his own ideas of his position in relationships, his own fears about the danger of his semblance? That’s easy. That’s normal. It hurts like shit, but it’s manageable, he’s done it plenty of times before. Now it’s just a bit more raw.

But flat out talking about the entire loss that was Clover? About their bond ,and who Clover was as a person, and his potential, his future? The loss that Clover experienced in having his life cut short?

Maybe I’m shamelessly projecting again. But I truly do not believe that Qrow could manage to think, let alone talk, about that right this moment, and not completely break down. Which he knows he can’t afford to do yet.

Talking about himself. About his semblance and what Clover meant to him in that regard. Is painful. It hurts. It’s heartbreaking. But it’s familiar.

It’s angry. It’s small weak laughs because you are nowhere even close to okay but you can’t be as broken as you really are right now, so you’ve just got to stick it out.

Qrow is Qrow. Regardless of whether the writers pull this off appropriately or not, I have no doubt that this man understands, and has thought long and hard, about autonomy. About the tragedy of how death strips every last shred of it from a person. About the cruelty of someone’s death not even being seen as about them.

But right this moment, he can’t focus on that. There’s too much still to do. To worry about. To protect.

Talking about Clover? Just as Clover?

Facing that unfairness, that loss of autonomy, that stolen future (whether or not that future involved Qrow)? That is an entirely different kind of pain.

I’m four years removed from my loss and I still can’t think about that too much because it’s physically painful. It’s irreconcilable. I can joke and laugh and be crass about how empty I worry my life will always be without Emma. But thinking, talking, about what I feel when I just sit with the fact that she’s not just not here with me, but she’s gone. All the things she never got to do or be or feel. The crushing cruelty of her having no say in how her story ended, or how she is remembered. I have made talking about my grief my career. And that is still something I have no words for. Thinking about it in those first few days? Is a large part of why I don’t remember so much of that time. It was too painful, so I just blocked it out.

I said things. I thought things. I believed things. That were not fair. That were more about me and my pain than Emma. Hell, I know there were moments I was angry, and there wasn’t even anyone to try to blame for what happened. It was ugly emotion after ugly emotion. Bitterness piled upon bitterness. But that was part of the process.

My point is. I totally understand if this speech makes you nervous. If you can’t trust the writers to turn it around into something good, that doesn’t frame it as Clover’s fault, or as Clover only being important to Qrow because of his semblance.

But please know, that what Qrow actually said? Even if he was starting to blame Clover. Even if he was focusing only on how it hurt him because of his semblance. That is a natural part of grieving. It doesn’t matter if it would be an awful outlook for him to have at the end of everything.

He’s not at the end. He’s processing.

And outright saying that him saying that the semblance thing is what ‘really stings’, or being angry that Clover didn’t just listen to him, or anything else, is wrong and uncaring, isn’t fair.

It might not be the right perspective. It might be blatantly wrong and unfair and self absorbed. But that’s okay. He’s not callous for that.

His feelings about Clover, his respect for Clover, his grief over Clover’s death and the loss of his autonomy? None of that is diminished by him having moments where he wants to blame Clover, or where he focuses more on how this hurts him than how unfair it is for Clover. (again. I’m talking about just the surface of him saying this, not the intent and eventual narrative the writers have in doing it this way).

I just want people to be careful as they talk about this. Because it’s valid. And both sides are valid in multiple ways.

But please. Be careful in how you show your dislike for what you feel/fear the writers are going to do, and how you frame the issues with what Qrow said.

Grief is an incredibly isolating thing. And when it’s fresh it’s so easy to feel horrible, to literally hate yourself, for the thoughts you have while processing your grief.

We all want this to be handled properly, and we all are nervous about how bad it could be if it isn’t. But the last thing we need is people saying that Qrow is wrong or selfish for feeling and expressing what he is feeling, while he processes something so overwhelming and complicated as everything that is going on right now.

It’s not fair to Qrow, but more importantly, it’s hurtful for everyone watching who has dealt with or is still dealing with these unpleasant, often shameful and seemingly vilified aspects of grief.

There is no wrong or right way to grieve. There is nothing wrong with you for thinking things you normally wouldn’t, or for focusing on your own pain. The ugly parts of your grief do not mean you don’t care about the person you lost enough.

Just remember that the concern here should be about how the writers intend to use this speech.

Not that Qrow said what he said. Those feelings can be wrong, unfair, selfish. But there’s nothing wrong with him for feeling that way right now. It doesn’t mean Clover meant anything less to him.

It’s just grief.

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kickingstonesandbones · 4 years

Text

What I’ve gathered from the 3 Episodes bc some of y’all seem confused or asked

Disclaimer: For the past 10+ years, I've made it a hobby of mine to thoroughly analyze fictional characters and plots, so I feel pretty confident in predicting characters. There rarely are plot twists that can surprise me. BUT that is obviously no guarantee that I am absolutely perfect at it and never wrong! Nor do I believe that I am always correct, just quite confident in reading between the lines with characters.

There are some theories and posts I've seen (on different platforms) that, I think, are doing a good job of getting the general gist of stuff, but nonetheless, they all seem to be overlooking minor details that can turn around meanings (like the way Hoshino acts). Also, many of you seem to either be ignoring or unaware of the mindset of older JAPANESE generations (of Insanely Rich Families™).

So yeah, I am just going to put statements/theories I’ve seen and go through them one by one. They’ll be obviously marked, so just read the ones you’re interested in? (Also, I absolutely love a good discourse, so if you have something that would challenge my own theories, or would like to discuss something that I haven’t touched up on in this OR want me to elaborate on something, feel free to comment, reblog, or dm me with your opinion or question! Whatever you’re more comfortable with 😊)

#1 Haru killed the woman. (I see this as a kind of side-comment a lot?)

#2 Hoshino feels 'torn' about Haru. // He has turned cold/harsh towards Haru. // He dislikes Haru now. (Why it’s more complicated than that and also different than you think – explained more lengthily than I intended to, but still shorter than I could’ve lol)

#3 Why that entire first scene in Episode 3 exists.

#4 Because of that scene, WHAT really is Suzue to Daisuke now? (Just brain farts, pls kinda ignore this one haha I just wanted that one theory written down to get back to it)

#5 Older Japanese Generations In General... (aka Daisuke’s behavior in Ep 3 explained)

#6 Daisuke and Haru are NOT as close as some of you might want to believe right now.... Yet, at least. Yet.

Extra: I've seen a post where someone wondered whether Daisuke's and Haru's pasts are somehow connected. (I haven’t seen a single post about the 1998 Files and the Parents in this context, for some reason, and was wondering.)

I’ll put a Read More here because this is going to be long, very long.

#1 Haru killed the woman.

Absolutely not true. (I do see people mention that like “he killed her in self-defense” in case you're thinking "well duh, Sherlock.") Choice of words is ALWAYS important.

In Episode 2 when Haru and Daisuke talk on the stairs, Daisuke relays information about Haru. He says, "you misfired and seriously injured the target" when talking about the reason why Haru is not in First Division anymore.

Now, Daisuke does not seem the type to sugarcoat facts, which means he would not leave out "which resulted in their death" at the end, or just straight up say "you misfired and killed the target." Now, 'seriously injured' means that the woman's life WAS in grave danger and she was close to dying, but she DID NOT DIE in the end. She survived. Being shot in the chest does not mean inevitable death. In fact, you can survive injury to any organ (even the brain) EXCEPT for the stomach (bc inner walls are covered in a protein that protects the stomach from digesting itself -> injury that would let the acid leak from it -> acid will burn away other organs -> you die of multiple organ failure bc you cannot stitch up a stomach)

It hits her in the right side of her chest, maybe even right below the shoulder. It’s hard for me to tell the exact position from the frames. But anyway, it most likely pierced through her right lung, which in itself is already deadly enough. But yeah, she did not die. No one in the anime ever even alludes to it.

I think some people believe he actually accidentally killed the woman because Haru was so devastated by it IMMEDIATELY. No, it wasn’t because of that per se. He was absolutely devastated because he. LOVES. PEOPLE. (As shown by his entire conversation with the boy on the train before he gets off and his faith in the good in people in Ep 3.) And it just left him so shaken that he (seriously) injured an innocent person. (In his eyes innocent because someone who is about to shoot you out of anger/other strong emotions is not necessarily innocent to me but that is an entirely different discussion.) Anyway, I think he was most shocked about the fact that he had pulled the trigger on her out of reflex (because he instinctively knew she WAS going to shoot him DEAD in that moment and his body reacted before he could think about it – as his immediate reaction to shooting her shows).

See the absolute shock in his eyes? Like he only realized what he did right after shooting her. Reflex.

#2 Hoshino feels 'torn' about Haru. // He has turned cold/harsh towards Haru. // He dislikes Haru now.

Yes, but no. I don't quite agree - and I don't agree mostly with the explanations given why (but also parts of the statements). And the reason for that is simply Hoshino's different facial expressions and exact choice of words in the interactions between them. To me, he seems like the type who would have an indifferent kind of face most of the time since I literally screenshotted every single scene with him (solely for this analysis lol), and he does have variation in expression, but only a little bit most of the time. His feelings are kinda subtle.

But before I explicitly explain what I mean, let me define something. 'Being torn' about something in general means that one cannot decide between two things, mostly two opposite (or at least quite different) things. And since some say Hoshino 'feels torn,' it would mean he would have two opposing feelings towards Haru, which I honestly don't think is true. It is just one very complex feeling that manifested over time.

Let me start by how Hoshino views Haru.

Haru is Hoshino's senior (senpai). Hoshino is Haru's junior (kohai). As we can see in the flashback in Ep 3 on the rooftop, Hoshino admires Haru. Like, this baby has complete and utter admiration in his eyes.

(He likely also thinks in that moment that Haru is insane, but that is besides the point right now.) He admires Haru for being able to do things fearlessly that he hesitates about. He looks like he’d like to be just like Haru as well. He looks up to him.

Then, the incident of Haru shooting the woman happens. Haru leaves the First Division and 'gets demoted' to the MCPTF. The two of them only speak to each other with higher level (distant relationship) honorifics. (I have a point about Hoshino calling Haru senpai in the first episode, but I will get to that.) Why they fell back into stranger honorifics will get more obvious in my second main point.

In the flashback we get in the third episode,

we get a Hoshino who stays on the side, also looking kind of dejected. I do not think that he is disappointed or angry at that moment. He just stares at his senpai in silence. Since he admires Haru so much, I guess he always wanted to be a cop JUST LIKE Haru, so he is... grieving? with Haru. I don't really know how to put it into words, but you could say he is HURTING by seeing his amicable, precious senpai BEATEN. Do not forget that Takei (Haru’s former superior) also puts a reassuring hand on Haru's shoulder. This interaction shows that they DO NOT blame him. (I am saying this bc I've seen people angry about what Hoshino says to Haru in Ep 3, saying "why would he hate him so much now and be so mean" - he doesn't. He absolutely. Does. Not. Hate. Him. He is frustrated and disappointed, but not hateful towards Haru.)

Having explained that, let me get to my first main point here:

I don't think I need to lay out Haru's work ethics for you guys because they're so clearly shown in the anime. So considering those work ethics of his, I truly believe that Haru ASKED to be removed from the First Division (which is why I put gets demoted in ' ' earlier) and be switched to one where he does not need a gun. Hence, he's now in the MCPTF. We do not SEE him getting demoted after that incident, which is why I firmly believe that that was Haru's decision and that he was persistent about it. When he packs up and leaves

he does not seem sour to HAVE to leave the division, but rather that he still seems to dwell over the reason WHY he's packing his stuff up. (You can see turmoil in his eyes. And that he’s lost in thoughts. He seems regretful, but also kind of set on something.) I mean the train scene really shows just HOW MUCH it still affects him

so I am pretty certain that he's thinking about exactly that and that he does not deserve to be a cop because of what he has done in that exact moment, and so on.

My second main point:

My first main point is exactly the reason why I think Hoshino acts the way he does towards Haru. It explains his expression that we see as Haru packs up his stuff.

He does not look angry.

He is hurt. And disappointed.

He feels let down.

In a sense, also betrayed. Like this isn’t reality.

The oh-so-great senpai, whom he has always looked up to all this time, who seemed so amazing, is pulling in his tail between his legs. Giving up. And running away. Just like that. Just because of ONE mistake. One mistake ALL of them probably would've made in that situation if they had been in his shoes. It made him realize that the senpai he had idolized all this time might not be as invincible as he had thought.

And. It. Hurts. Hoshino. To. No. End. (I mean, just zoom in on the pic and look at those eyes.)

I don't think he has ever let Haru know just how hurt he was just watching him leave and accepting the work he'd do in MCPTF (which is literally just desk work and filling in missing men force, as far as we’ve seen), which probably would mean that he let the hurt foster and foster inside of him until it slowly started to turn into coldness/curtness towards Haru. (Also could be that they fought before Haru left, which would also explain some remarks Hoshino makes.) He was hurt, and he somehow needed to show it.

Hoshino looked up to Haru, and was left feeling let down by his former partner. That stings. Deeply.

(I mean you can literally see the small changes in his eyes. His expressions slightly soften and harden. But the words tend to be more direct and harsh. And honestly, that is the result of disappointment and hurt speaking. But nevertheless, he still lets Haru and Kamei listen in (bottom right corner) even though he does look slightly annoyed; probably because he knows that he won’t be able to get rid of them, especially Haru. So the admiration is still there – probably had never left – which can give him moments where he “gives in”. Also, look at the bottom left corner.)

I mean Hoshino probably used to ALWAYS call Haru senpai for a longer period of time because he NEVER ever calls Haru senpai in the anime except for that one time when Haru startled him in the first episode. People in general react out of reflex and instinct whenever they're startled because reflexes and instincts are not a thing your brain CONSCIOUSLY processes. Those are subconscious responses.

If you don’t believe me, here is the other times Hoshino has called Haru – and when he did, it was literally only “Kato-san” (there aren’t a lot of other examples bc he literally only says Haru’s name like four times so far, but when he is NOT surprised, he addresses Haru like this):

(Completely taken aback by Haru just stealing the ear-piece, surprised face, afterwards not even aware that he did call Haru senpai, which he never does again (so far))

Which means Hoshino did not (more like COULD NOT) think about the way he'd call Haru, so that "senpai" slipped past his lips out of pure old habit. (Which goes to show that they used to be really close.) I'm not crying, you are.

I also have to bring up that first conversation on the train in Ep 3.

Kato: “That was rather fast.”

Hoshino: “Why are you here?” (he says Kato-san in Japanese, not “you”)

K: “I happened to be on the train. The perp is male. He said he failed the college entrance exam, so his age is somewhere around 19 or 20. I’m guessing he’s from somewhere around Hyogo.”

H: “How do you know-”

K: “I was sitting next to him, until moments ago.”

H: “Any other information?”

K: “No. I only started talking to him when I was close to getting off.”

H: “Understood. We at First Division will be handling this case. Kato-san, please take your leave.”

K: “It’s alright. I’m not a stranger in his light. Let me do it.”

H: “Do you have any authority to be on this crime scene?”

K: “What do you mean?”

H: “Why don’t you ask yourself that question?”

Look exactly at the changes in their eyes in each single picture here. Notice how Hoshino goes from surprised to somewhat indifferent to challenging? Someone might even argue that he looks angry, hostile, or that it’s resentment in his eyes, but considering that he is asking “Why don’t you ask yourself that question?” it is neither of those, because he is challenging Haru to defend himself. But Haru doesn’t answer, and they just stare each other down for a few seconds.

Just by the way Hoshino says it, and the way Haru reacts and how it immediately triggers the flashback/memory afterwards, I think this might actually be something Haru has said TO Hoshino (about himself) back then when Hoshino might've tried to change Haru's mind on leaving the First Division (that he does not deserve to be a cop, investigate crime scenes like that, etc). At least that interaction and just how Haru reacts to it seems to be implying that to me.

I refuse to believe Hoshino did not try at all to persuade and hold back Haru back then (I mean just that pic of Hoshino staring at Haru when he was packing his stuff and leaving the division literally SCREAMS INTO YOUR FACE), so I believe Haru told him at least SOMEWHAT how he feels about the whole thing, and I think Haru probably definitely said something along those lines. Like, he “did not deserve to investigate crime scenes LIKE THAT” (I mean the trauma and the train scene are literally the same hostage scenario with the culprit having a firearm (even if the kid's was a model gun and not real)) nor that he “deserved to be a cop any longer (because cops wouldn’t hurt the innocent).” He might’ve said something like that to Hoshino, which only frustrates and disappoints the latter further.

So in this complicated mess, what is it that Hoshino is actually feeling? That mixture of hurt, disappointment, betrayal and being let down has manifested itself into frustration. Hoshino is frustrated with Haru.

He’ll probably explode (in Haru’s face) at some point in the anime, too.

(I think Hoshino is an interesting character.)

#3 Why that entire first scene in Episode 3 exists

I was so confused about that scene in the beginning and had to check whether I WAS actually watching the third episode lol

The main thing I get from it is that it's entirely about INFORMATION. That is probably entirely because the Hong Kong episode got deleted and instead we'll get that in a drama CD? In Hong Kong, Haru probably would've learned that HEUSC is an AI butler, not a real one, and how to use him. (Among other things.) I mean, he somehow needs to first get to learn about HEUSC before he can use him for the whole train scenario later in the episode? And that hadn't been done yet, and probably would've happened in Hong Kong, but we aren't getting that in the anime so that information needed to be given another way. Which is probably why that first scene even exists. If anyone knows well about script writing for that and how that in general works, and knows more about this, please let me know, I am interested in learning lmao

#4 Because of that scene, WHAT really is Suzue to Daisuke now?

I do not want anyone to comment that it was confirmed that they are siblings or some shit. NOTHING has been confirmed. She still could be his wife. She also just could be his sister. Or a cousin. We will get to know eventually, but as of right now, NOTHING AT ALL HAS BEEN CONFIRMED. REMEMBER THAT, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU HATE IT.

I, in general, do not really care for ships. So idgaf if she is his sister or wife, but I DO have a theory of my own. And it is all because of how Daisuke's grandmother introduced herself.

DAISUKE'S grandmother. Not THEIRS. Not Daisuke's AND Suzue's grandmother. ONLY Daisuke's.

So this either means a harsh canon awakening for shippers, or it MIGHT mean something entirely else. (And I have 3 points to make here.)

(1) That she does not accept Suzue as a grandchild. Now, she did not look like she harbors resentment towards Suzue and wished she wasn't present at all or didn't exist. Buuuuut.... Suzue might be an illegitimate grandchild? Like, I know that sounds wild, but hear me out.

Children sometimes look more like one parent rather than the other (or a parent’s side). Sometimes, not always, but often enough. Animes in general do not make love interests or parents look almost identical. (But then again, you could never know with the devs of this one lmao) Soooo... It could be that they either look like their father, or their mother. And the respective parent had an affair, resulting in Suzue. And why I believe it would be Suzue, if one of them actually would be the illegitimate child? Because she is younger than Daisuke, and the way the grandmother treats HIM. (Honestly, if Daisuke would be the illegitimate child, 1. Grandma wouldn't claim him 2. Why would the other parent stick around for two more years to have another child with a cheater?) Which could be why - considering the mindset of older Japanese generations - why she only introduced herself as Daisuke's grandmother. And also why she is so immensely strict with him. In her eyes, he would be the only heir to the family. So she has to raise him to be a responsible man whom she can hand over the company to with peace of mind.

(2) Daisuke and Suzue are actually married. So get over it in this case. (And don't you DARE hate on a great character (again) because of that, otherwise I'll only refer to ya'll as salty hoes from them on.)

(3) We all (read: I) might be interpreting too much into it and it literally means nothing at all, and she just introduced herself that way because they were going to talk about Daisuke because of his new work place and since Daisuke and Haru are partners. For this case, I already have my wig, red nose, and make up ready 🤡

If I am being honest, (1) does not seem too likely to me – just something I randomly thought of. I actually think it’s just simply (3). But I am presenting it for the VERY small chance that (1) could actually be true lmao I bet I will cringe hard at it later

Highly likely: Since Haru would be more involved with Daisuke than Suzue because of work, it could be that she just found it more logical to introduce herself as his grandma, rather than theirs, so yeah… like I’ve said, these are just brain farts and I just wanted to have them written down lol

EDIT: I’ve been made aware that there seems to be an error in the translation. Since it is too much of a pain to add even more pics on mobile, I will just relay the information of the tweet. You can find the link to the tweet in the comments though. My Japanese isn’t that great, so I am dependent on the translation, so errors can occur, which makes me happy when people point something like this out to me. Basically, what Kikuko is actually saying in Japanese is that she’s the grandma, but she leaves out the pronouns - therefore not really saying whose grandma she is - so it could refer to both of them. Like I said, (1) doesn’t seem likely to me anyway lol

#5 Older Japanese Generations In General...

Are strict. Are very conservative. Especially insanely rich families like the Kambe's. Kikuko is NOT strict with him because she has a bad personality or because she is inherently mean or something. (Though she does seem to consider him a bit irresponsible because she calls him selfish)

(Also notice how she asks “so hasn’t he” instead of “he hasn’t been, has he?” which means she always expects him to cause trouble for everyone. This goes to show that Daisuke can never do enough or do good enough for her, which also explains his character a bit since his grandma took care of him since his parents died, but my point here is not to analyze his entire behavior.)

The Japanese have a culture of respect. Respect your elders. Unconditionally. And grandparents of insanely rich families like Daisuke's also demand respect, which means not talking back, or DISOBEYING THEIR ORDERS. Which brings me to the next point (for which I have written this one because y’all might be misinterpreting Daisuke’s behavior, which is exactly what I meant in the beginning with “ignoring or being unaware of the mindset of older Japanese generations”)...

#6 Daisuke and Haru are NOT as close as some of you might want to believe right now.... Yet, at least. Yet.

Sorry to burst the bubbles.

I see everyone going on about them now being partners, and Daisuke trusting his life with Haru’s judgement.

The second part, yes… kinda at least.

The first? Not so much.

Let me talk about the first half of the sentence first. Like the point before this clarifies – unconditional, non-questioning respect, and no disobedience. Which means that Daisuke would NOT go against the orders of his grandmother. By helping Haru with that case and listening to him, being coached, is literally just him obeying Kikuko. (He might also think that it would be better to just follow before Haru rats him out to his grandma for a second time.)

(I do bet though that that will soon change and be genuine!)

Now, with the part about trusting his life to Haru’s judgement… I am not sure whether I can properly explain this the way I mean it, so I just hope it will make sense. I think Daisuke kind of trusted Haru’s judgement on the boy, but also trusted his own judgement just a little more than that. I think he just made logical deductions from what he witnessed inside (reported that a person was down and that they were probably killed by the boy, then it turns out he is doing all that for his sister’s surgery, then it turns out that gun is not real (after causing a distraction) and nobody is actually injured, but then he gets his hand on a real gun (Hoshino’s) and points it their direction in a panic, and Daisuke notices Haru cannot shoot the boy, so he deducts that if the boy knows that his sister will be safe, he will calm down and the situation will be completely de-escalated, so he steps forward and states he will pay for it (he does not really care about spending money as we all know lol) and stands with confidence because he knows flinching or getting nervous – or even blinking – would make it look like a lie and he would definitely NOT want that). Does this make sense? Like, Daisuke is such a calm and collected person, I doubt he would just absolutely BLINDLY jump into something because of someone else’s judgement BEFORE making sure that their judgement is correct by his own observation of the situation, which would be why he stayed behind Haru and just observed until a certain point where he was absolutely certain that it would be safe to do so.

Though what that DOES mean though would be that Daisuke would probably trust Haru’s judgement without being too skeptical about it soon. (I feel like this might’ve been that part in the Episode 3 Hong Kong PV 3 where a person (looks A LOT like Daisuke, so I’ll just assume it was him) was cuffed and Haru comes to the rescue. It might’ve been that Haru judged that person who ended up doing this to Daisuke to be shady, but Daisuke went ahead anyway and got himself in trouble, which was why he ended up cuffed to something, or something of that sort that would show Daisuke Haru’s judgement can be trusted.) [Edit: I used this simply as a theorizing example of how this could be done in another way with a scene that actually DOES exist (though we won’t be seeing that in the anime anymore it is still canon material) instead of having to make something up, and Hong Kong was just a good example to further show my point.]

Extra: I've seen a post where someone wondered whether Daisuke's and Haru's pasts are somehow connected.

In short: Yes, I think so.

In long: (This theory might be a far reach hahah)

The first time we see Haru enter the office of his division, he is carrying files.

'Unsolved Case Files 1998,' it specifically reads. We know Daisuke's parents have died and he says “it was in Japan” when that one day turned his life around (though we do not have any indication of year yet). I assume they were killed (and that it wasn’t an accident at all) and it is the true reason why he came back to Japan (even though yeeeaaars later bc he needed to be trained)

and why he specifically asked to be in the MCPTF BECAUSE Haru is in it (I’ll explain why soon), instead of the First or Second Division - as the superintendent general had suggested for him to be put into, which resulted in Daisuke declining the offer.

But we don't know much about Haru's family. Actually, NOTHING AT ALL. Now, I think that his parents are dead as well, and that their deaths are connected to Daisuke's parents' deaths. The fact that Haru looks through cold cases (or well, at least old cases), which is only briefly shown by showing the files he carried in the first episode, most likely is meant to be some "foreshadowing/hidden info given” kind of thing. Haru is possibly investigating his parents' (or at least a loved one's) death. His parents' death (if none of his parents were police officers themselves and therefore influenced him in that way) is possibly also the reason Haru became a police officer in the first place (even though he tells Daisuke that it is simply to "nab criminals," maybe specifically the criminals who have to do with that?).

Now, I said before that Daisuke asked to be in the same Division as Haru, not the MCPTF (though he names the division, not Haru’s name but you'll know why I'm saying that by the end of this. I don’t think he has immense interest in the division itself but WHO is IN IT). In the second episode, we get to know that Daisuke has a lot of information about Haru. During the case of Isezaki, we get to know during the interrogation that Daisuke obtains information about a person by having HEUSC scan a person's documentation item

or simply by asking HEUSC.

We never see him doing that with Haru though (I also seriously doubt Haru would hand him any kind of ID, especially in the beginning lol), which brings me to the point that Daisuke probably already had obtained all of Haru's information before he had arrived in Japan; or maybe at the latest after the Bridge incident though I am pretty certain it was BEFORE arriving in Japan, just that maybe he didn’t know the face? Or maybe he even knew the face but didn’t care. (He probably knew more than just about the trauma and why Haru left the First Division, but Haru did not let him speak any further in that scene. It is unclear though, whether Daisuke would've kept talking or that being all of the information he would have delivered in that moment.)

Because Daisuke might already know from the start that their pasts are connected, while Haru is oblivious to it.

So, Daisuke wants to solve the murder of his parents, and he might think that the key to solving it might be by being around someone/doing it with someone who is also connected to it.

(I have no clue whether I am still making sense bc I haven’t slept and worked on this all night, going through the episodes again and again and at this point I am just extremely tired lol)

Like, I know by the fact that we are only 3 Episodes in that this might sound like a far reach BUT I seriously would not be surprised by this. The thing about storytelling is that at one point you would need to introduce the Motive™ of the story. Since animes have very limited time to tell the story in only 20 minutes, at least ALMOST everything in an episode sooner or later needs to give us that information; and honestly? They could’ve started this anime in ANY other way, but they chose to start by Daisuke telling us about his parents. And I honestly just think that it would be odd if that is not of greater importance in the whole story, so I think that that might be the motive that should be revealed within the first half of the anime. The devs seem like the kind of people who would give small hints for something like this (Daisuke’s parents, the 1998 Files) throughout the entire show and then SLAP it into the face of the ones who are unsuspecting in the second half of the anime, ESPECIALLY since they are so secretive with everything lmao I love them.

I am going to bed now, I’m so fucking tired lol

August 3, 2020

#fkbu #fkbul #fugou keiji bul #fugou keiji haru #fugou keiji #fugou keiji daisuke #fugou keiji ryo #fugou keiji balance: unlimited #haru katō #haru kato #haru katou #fkbu daisuke #daisuke kambe #kambe daisuke #ryo hoshino #hoshino ryo #balance unlimited #the millionare detective balance: unlimited #the millionaire detective

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sammyblep · 3 years

Note

i'd love to hear your thoughts on sam too!

thank youuuuu also sorry in advance this is gonna get so long--

(edit: also sorry about the formatting tumblr said fuck this post in particular)

How I feel about this character

sam is one of my most favorite characters of all time. the first time i watched spn i was an unapologetic dean girl (gnt) but now i am FULL sam girl (gnt.) This is a character who is told that the world is a dark and dangerous place and that no matter how hard he tries he’s going to become one of the monsters that inhabits it and makes it worse. he’s raised on the leash held by his father and in the shadow of his brother (a shadow that protected him) and he just wants to be able to love them both but they won’t let him. he wants to be able to love and nothing will let him!!! He wants to be able to experience the world in a way that isn’t blood and gunsmoke and pain and he just wants so desperately that he’s willing to rip himself away from what little he’s known to do it.

and the thing is, the world proves him right! he IS a monster. he lets the devil free, the people he loves die endlessly, he chooses a demon over his brother, he allows himself to become demonic for the sake of revenge, because that endless love he has was twisted against the world he wanted to love and used to wound it. and the fact is - it WAS his decision. it’s a decision he has to live with forever and deal with the consquences of. the world proves him right - zachariah’s voicemail, dean telling him to pick a hemisphere, the angels using dean to warn him off his demon blood path, the murder of an innocent woman to kill lilith (cindy I think) - those are all monstrous things.

and sam, after all that - when he realizes what his love has been used for, the hurt and irreversible damage its caused, he takes it back for himself. he realizes he was wrong, and he - the boy who wanted nothing more than to love the world and be loved by it in return - offers up his love to that same dark horrible world that he ruined further. and he does it with no expectations, just determination to make it right. that love overpowers the devil and destiny and the writing of god himself. the same way cas’s love for dean overwrote chuck’s writings in 4x22, sam’s endless love and belief that the world is worth fighting for averts the apocalypse.

this is a man who ruined the world, and willingly; and this is a man who saw what he did and ruined himself, wilingly, endlessly, because he believed in fixing his mistakes. because he believed there was still love and good in the world that tried to kill him over and over. because sam winchester wants nothing but to be free to love anything and everything, and to have even a sliver of that love returned to him.

basically: i love him. i love him so much. sam winchester THE character of all time for me. (him and ned chicane and merle highchurch but that’s another thing-)

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Eileen the love of my life Eileen Leahy!!! She’s badass and understanding and CHOSE to love Sam, and that’s truly what he needed and wanted more than anything else. She’s just - KAJDFNSKAJF i love eileen so so SO much and I think she and her wife Sam Leahy are head over heels in love. They love learning from each other and teaching each other and defending each other with the full knowledge that they can cover their own ass totally fine but that’s not the point the point is that they want to show their love and in their lifestyle this is a good way to do so. I think Sam is absolutely utterly disgustingly in love with Eileen and they want to constantly make that clear to the world and I think Eileen is completely wholly sickeningly in love with Sam and wants to make that clear to Sam. I think they’re neat and I think they’re perfect and I think they’re in love and I love them

Rowena - I haven’t seen a single episode with Rowena but i adore her energy and I think Sam being a sucker for the 600-yr-old queen of hell Rowena MacLeod is INCREDIBLE. Sam sees an incredibly powerful woman with knowledge and experiences beyond his understanding and says ‘is anyone gonna fall in love with her’ and doesn’t wait for an answer.

Gabriel! From the first time I saw Tall Tales I crackshipped him and sam, fun fact. I think there’s a LOT of complexity and nuance to any potential relationship of theirs (which is further complicated by any potential s-13 sabriel bait you wanna incorporate into your own personal good version (i haven’t seen it yet but love and light to y’all)) but I ALSO think too many people lose Gabriel’s characterization in order to make him palatable to Sam. And like no that’s not the point the POINT is they’re enemies-with-instant-tension to lovers! This is the ‘hedonist meets repressed man and they are instantly attracted but also hate each other and have to navigate that’ dynamic that I so rarely see done properly. However the MOST important part of Sabriel for me (as with any ship) is that it’s fun and DOES have a lot of cute potential. (Hedonistic-hugger Gabriel with touchstarved Sam my BELOVED)

Also Sabrieleena is fantastic I am a poly truther for a lot of things

Sarah Blake my first gay crush Sarah Blake... she deserved better and also she and Sam would have been a fantastic wlw relationship

I’m sure there’s more but I’ve forgotten them because it’s been ages since I saw past s5 and I frankly don’t remember much after the beginning of s6!

My non-romantic OTP for this character

I think he and Cas should have been best friends more. Also I *DO* wish we’d gotten a better Sam&Crowley dynamic but alas j*rpad couldn’t step up to the plate :/// fuckin coward

My unpopular opinion about this character

I’m both a Tall!Sam truther and a Tiny!Sam truther... I don’t think either of these concepts are unpopular but idk anyone else who loves them both like i do. Then again I also don’t know many people in spndom sfkjnjkfjaks

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

WE SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN TO SEE SAM HAVING A HORRIBLE BREAKDOWN AT SOME POINT. I HAVE OPINIONS ON WHEN AND WHERE BUT THIS MAN MADE OF LOVE FEELS EMOTIONAL PAIN SO HARD AND WHEN THE LOVE HE’S FILLED WITH IS TURNED AGAINST HIM I SIMPLY THINK HE WOULD HAVE LOST IT.

this is technically not him butttt I wish Max Miller had lived so he and Sam could have been best friends (I have s1e14 Nightmare derangement syndrome)

ok i know this said ONE thing but also like you said and like i said in the tags of your response for sam. HE SHOULD HAVE KEPT HIS POWERS.

(send me a character and I’ll break their asses down)

#ask meme #sam winchester #spn #eileen leahy #rowena macleod #spn gabriel #sarah blake #castiel #spn crowley #max miller #longpost #this is so much text i'm so sorry laskfjsd #nevidimochka #edited for formatting

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musical-chick-13 · 4 years

Note

And Theon bc I love him

WHAT A COINCIDENCE I LOVE HIM TOO (this answer is gonna be a combination of books and show)

Send me a character and I’ll tell you the following:

• Did they live up to their potential? / In what ways was their potential unachieved?

-I would say yes. The only negative I have about his general arc is his death (which, see below). But Theon from the very beginning was, though not a particularly nice person, still relatable. Feeling othered, wanting to be accepted by an immediate environment that doesn’t accept you, isolated from and ostracized by your family, and the tension that comes between serving the different types of familial relationships in your life. Theon has no idea who he is, tossed aside by his blood family for not growing up with them and being “soft,” aka sort-of moral and having emotions that aren’t selfish rage or smugness (which, yep, that second part is a mood, see: my entire childhood and how no one wanted to be around an “emotional” “soft” child). And from there, he spirals out of control in a way that, while certainly not admirable by any stretch of the imagination, is still understandable in the context of the narrative and his characterization. And from there, after going through hell and quite literally losing himself (even to the point of straight-up denying rescue), he builds himself back up gradually, to the point where he expressed extreme regret for what he’s done, helps an innocent woman escape a truly horrifying situation, acknowledges that his family is generally garbage, and (in-show b/c again books aren’t finished), helping to restore his sister to power, rescuing her after his PTSD relapses while confronting Euron, and ultimately opting to protect the Starks come hell or high water in order to genuinely atone for what he’s done. He is no longer conflicted because he wants to do the right thing, and that right thing is defending the kingdom from the White Walkers and making sure Sansa and Bran are safe. And it’s no longer about fulfilling a duty or finding a family to fill the void. Because now he has found himself. I will contend that Theon has one of the best, most nuanced, most organic redemption arcs of all time. I will forever be grateful that I got to see that piece of storytelling unfold.

Although, I would love to know what he thought of Dany. A missed opportunity, that.

• How they negatively and positively affected the story.

-Positive: His arc of identity and finding where your loyalties lie ties into the overall theme of “How do you find yourself in a world where goodness, authenticity, and honesty are often punished and increasingly rare?” And it proves that governmental politics aren’t the only defining factors in decisions: familial politics can be just as difficult and dangerous, which adds yet another rich, complicated layer to the overall story. He has a genuine, honest-to-Drowned-God redemption arc, which is...not really present anywhere else in the story (no, Jaime is not on a Redemption Quest, I will die on this hill). But I think the biggest draw of Theon’s presence is that it deconstructs the whole “Character Revenge Fantasy” idea. He does bad things. We want him to be punished. But not like that. No one deserves that. How far is too far? What does retribution really look like? Given how easily that idea can be abused and go off the rails, is retribution even something to strive for? What is the point of using extreme violence/torture/mutilation/breaking someone’s psyche when it doesn’t really accomplish anything? Isn’t atonement and genuine justice a better option? It certainly was for Theon. He could only piece himself back together and do anything meaningful once he was out of his abusive environment. All of these are imporant questions that are posed by his existence in the narrative.

-Negative: Idk if I have much to say here. My biggest problem is his death (see below), but that’s not really a negative story effect so much as...being disappointing and narratively irrelevant. I gotta say, his introduction via his sister was...really weird. I genuinely have no idea why GRRM wrote that. It never came up again or had any kind of narrative ramifications and kind of cast a strange, uncomfortable light on his relationship with Asha/Yara for the remainder of the story. I can ignore and enjoy their later relationship it if I don’t think about it too hard, though, so I guess I’ll chalk it up to GRRM having a Bad Idea.

• What my favorite arc for them is.

-All of it?? Theon’s journey is kind of...one big arc, which is why I think it works so well. He has this overarching redemption plot which spans the entire series and informs every decision he makes (for good or for bad, depending on where in the aforementioned journey he is). The redemption arc isn’t bogged down with side plots or other pieces of narrative clutter, meaning it has time to grow and, thus, be gradual and realistic. If I had to choose a specific point, it’s probably when he tries to reintegrate back into society via supporting Yara. Gaining the Iron Islands’ support for her ruling, spiriting away with Euron’s fleet, and ultimately rescuing his sister after her capture. He can’t just go back into society. He’s scared. He has really bad PTSD. But he recognizes that putting his home in good hands is something bigger than just him because it’s Yara’s home, too. I just...I really love family relationships, y’all.

• What I think of their ending.

-I’m not really sure how I feel about this one. I get that the series is GrimDark™ and that people who make the right choice and fight for good die all the time, but Theon dying just felt...wrong. To me.

And, like...I get it. It makes sense to parallel his original descent into villainy (cemented by executing those two boys and pretending they were Bran and Rickon) with him dying to protect Bran himself. It ties into the whole very common trope of completing a full redemption arc by committing a completely selfless act at great personal cost. It’s kind of like the whole Missy thing in Doctor Who (which...hoo boy, that post is coming, make no mistake), where selfishness is directly opposed by making the ultimate sacrifice with no motivation for personal gain. And the fact that the last words he ever heard were “You’re a good man?” I cannot even begin to describe how much that makes me sob. But...honestly, I’m really tired of this idea that redemption has to end in death in order to be achieved or “complete.” I think it’s much more poignant to have a redeemed character live to help build a better world. Because what’s the point of telling people to be better if the “reward” is death? No one’s going to want to reform themselves if they think that’ll be the result.

I think the thing that Bugs Me™ the most is that Theon never really got to have a moment of peace when he was alive. Sansa gained the North’s love and at least had a secure childhood. Ned and Cat were happily married for years. Arya had parents who loved her and a good relationship with Jon. Jon fell in love with Ygritte and found his Night Watch Bros, and Robb (in show verse) had some very happy moments with Talisa. Davos put great stock in what he considered fulfilling friendships with Stannis and Shireen; Brienne was treated respectfully by Renly, Catelyn, and Sansa; Missandei and Grey Worm had each other and their friendship with Dany, who herself had many personal successes in her quest for the Iron Throne and saw the death of her abusive brother. Cersei even had moments with Jaime (who himself had several notable military victories and at least some time with Myrcella, as well as being gladly and deeply in love, however dysfunctional that love was), times when she successfully fought off enemies (including her dad), and some sweet moments with Tommen, as well as a huge victory via blown-up sept at the end of season 6. Theon was treated as a second-class family member by the Starks his whole life by being “traded” to them as a condition of war resolution AS A BABY, is immediately disparaged and mistreated by his immediate family when he tries to return to them, makes terrible decisions that almost cost him his conscience completely, is brutally tortured by Ramsay, is on the run with his sister from Euron almost immediately after, and has a PTSD attack that ultimatly results in him having to launch a rescue mission. And then he fights ice zombies. And then he dies. He never really...got to be happy at all? There was never any kind of “win” for him. Not even survival. The narrative couldn’t even give him that.

TLDR: Theon’s death seemed less shock-value-y than others (like, for example, Shireen or Missandei or, heck, Melisandre even), and it isn’t the worst thing I’ve ever seen. It’s narratively-informed and it makes sense as an emotional through-line, but, ultimately, Redemption Cemented By Selfless Death is a tired trope, and I honestly thought this story (which...you know...serves as a deconstruction of common fantasy tropes/book tropes in general) was better than that.

• When I wish they had died. / If I think they should’ve died.

-So here’s where we get personal™ kids.

So, it’s no secret that I am...severely mentally ill. I’ve talked about expression/presentation of mental illness in regard to Cersei a lot on this blog, and how that (as paradoxical as it may seem) helped bring a sense of comfort and emotional resonance to me. Theon, post-Ramsay, has, I think, a very clear case of PTSD. Theon is one of the few characters I’ve seen where his mental illness isn’t the cause of the bad, violent, dangerous choices he makes. It only takes root after he has made the decision and conscious effort to better himself, and it, rather than demonizing him, serve to humanize him. His trauma didn’t define him. And although a PTSD attack led to him unintentionally losing Yara to Euron’s capture, he makes every effort to rescue her, a goal he does end up achieving. It is so rare I get to see a character who goes through these things, successfully fight them and come out with positive qualities at the end. Like...switching topics a bit here, Jaime going back to King’s Landing to (try to) escape and ultimately die with Cersei made sense to me because, as Jaime says, he is a hateful man. He never made much of an honest effort to be anything else. And he never truly wanted to be good; he just wanted to be liked. He wanted to adopt some personality that would make him feel less disconnected from the rest of the world. But Theon...genuinely feels remorse for everything he’s done. He makes a concerted effort to do everything in his power to improve the lives of people he believes are good and deserve to be safe. So, just...killing him off in a Completely Selfless Sacrifice (like...you know how a lot of mentally ill people put themselves through suffering-like OCD rituals, bottling feelings, self-harm, even suicide-in a misplaced attempt to “help” or “protect other people”) seemed antithetical to everything we saw of his arc.

Ultimately, with such a humanizing, empathetic portrayal of trauma and mental health struggles, seeing Theon be killed off just...pissed me off. I am so tired of seeing mentally ill characters die. I really want to believe that I can live through and thrive in spite of the things that afflict me, and I get example after example of characters not being allowed to do that. It feels awful, quite frankly. And it makes hope that much harder.

I also just feel like...there was nothing the story gained from his death? I get the thematic parallels as mentioned earlier, but it didn’t really move the story forward in any significant way. It didn’t motivate other characters to do anything, it had no political ramifications, it didn’t serve to contribute to any kind of happy ending or commentary on society, it just...was sad. Again, I thought this story was better than that.

#theon greyjoy #got #my son #mental illness in media #meta #redemption arcs #tw: self harm mention #tw: suicide mention

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