#I’ll talk about it again when I rewatch it in the future

[casssmalefantasy]

hiii can i request a fic where paige has a series of bad games and reader tries to comfort her but paige lashes out at her including saying she doesn’t understand cause she isn’t an athlete which is already a an insecurity of hers to be dating a high profile athlete and feeling like there’ll always be a part of paige she’ll never be privy to, so reader she up crying and walking out which makes paige come to her senses but reader isnt answering calls and messages so paige spends the next days groveling please and thank you

THE QUIET PART - PAIGE BUECKERS X OC

I synopsis: paige comes home carrying more than she can hold. you try to help. she pushes too hard. now you’re both figuring out what it means to stay.

| warnings: emotional conflict, hurt/comfort, one-sided argument, feelings of emotional dismissal, crying, soft angst with resolution, and lots of feelings.

I word count: 1.9k

I author's note: hopefully you like this!! thank you for the request ♥️

──────────────────────

the door slams harder than it should.

keys clatter on the counter like they’ve been thrown, not dropped, and it’s the kind of sound that echoes too long in a space meant to be quiet. you glance up from the couch, halfway through some comfort rewatch you weren’t even paying attention to. the tv hums behind you like static.

you expect to hear a soft hey, or even just the weight of her footsteps toward you. but paige doesn’t say anything.

she walks straight past. her sneakers squeak once on the floor before they disappear into the bedroom. not even a glance.

you blink. sit up. the silence stretches.

this isn’t her.

you don’t hesitate long. the bath you’d been running in your head as your future reward for a long day suddenly feels too far away. you pad barefoot across the apartment and stand in the doorway of her room.

she’s halfway through pulling her sweatshirt off. there’s a tension in her shoulders you don’t like. when she yanks the hoodie off, she tosses it onto the edge of the bed—not careless, but not careful, either. like she’s too full of something she doesn’t want to carry anymore.

“paige?” you ask, soft.

she pauses.

turns. finally. slowly.

and you hate the look in her eyes—not because she’s mad, but because she’s gone. like something’s been gnawing at her and she let it in too deep. like she doesn’t know how to talk to you with it sitting in her chest.

“talk to me,” you say gently.

she breathes out a bitter, frustrated laugh. “there’s nothing to talk about.”

you step closer.

you reach for her arm. not fast, not forceful, just soft—just trying to ground her, just trying to remind her you’re here.

but she flinches like it stings. like your touch is too much.

“can you not do this right now?” she snaps. “i don’t want to talk, okay?”

you freeze.

her voice isn’t raised—but it’s tense, high-strung, breaking at the edges.

she exhales, sharp and frustrated, stepping away from you. like she needs more room to breathe, or maybe to break.

“do you even understand how hard this is?” she says. “i came here straight from uconn. i’ve never dealt with losing like this. not this much. loss after loss, and i know what we’re capable of. i know we can win, but then we don’t, and there’s nothing i can do about it.”

you stay quiet.

her hands move—into her hair, then tugging at the edge of her shirt, then down again. she’s restless. spiraling.

“i work my ass off and it still isn’t enough. and everyone keeps acting like it’s fine because i’m paige fucking bueckers and i’ll figure it out eventually, but what if i don’t? what if this is just who i am now?”

you try again.

“i do get it. i might not be on the court, but i—”

“no i don’t think you do,” she says, quieter now, but not softer. “you’re not an athlete. you don’t… you don’t know what this feels like.”

and maybe what hurts the most is that you do— not the training or the noise of the court, but the weight she carries afterward. you’ve sat in silence next to her after games, handed her a protein shake she didn’t touch. you’ve folded her jerseys and tucked sticky notes into her gym bag that just said, proud of you, always. you’ve loved her through bruises and exhaustion and late-night replays. and still—none of it mattered. not to her. not tonight.

the silence is sharp.

it hits like the end of a dream. or a free fall. or something cracking in your ribs.

you don’t say anything right away. you can’t.

because it’s not just what she said—it’s the way she said it. like you’ve been trying so hard to show up in all the ways you can, and none of it mattered. like you’ve been loving her from the quiet, watching her come apart, and it still wasn’t enough to be seen.

you freeze.

and for the first time, you feel the tears sting behind your eyes.

your voice comes out small. wounded.

“wow.”

her head snaps up, and the regret’s already flickering in her eyes, but it’s too late.

you step back.

“i’ll get out of your way, then.”

“wait, baby—”

but you’re already turning. your throat’s tight. the living room feels too small. the whole apartment does.

you stop at the edge of the couch. your keys in one hand. her hoodie in the other. the one from uconn, soft with wear, smelling like detergent and her valentina fragrance.

you don’t know why you grab it. maybe because it’s hers. maybe because it still smells like her. maybe because your hands need something to hold besides your heart.

you don’t look at her. not once and for a second, you consider staying. saying something back. or nothing at all.

but you know if you stay, you’ll cry.

and tonight, you don’t want to be soft in front of her. not after that.

your phone’s in your hand before you even realize what you’re doing.

you text dijonai.

you

hey. can i come over for a bit? just need a second.

nai

ofc. everything okay?

you

just had a thing with paige. it’s fine. just need air.

nai

come thru. door’s unlocked.

you don’t look back.

your phone vibrates halfway through the elevator ride.

paigeyyy 💗

where are you? please answer.

i didn’t mean it like that. i’m sorry.

please just tell me you’re okay.

you don’t open them.

—

nai doesn’t ask questions.

she just opens the door in sweats and a bonnet, gives you a long look, and says, “blanket’s on the couch. you want tea or tequila?”

“tea,” you whisper, voice wrecked.

she nods. disappears into the kitchen.

when she returns with two mugs, she sits beside you without pushing. doesn’t say what happened? or why’d she say that? or do you wanna talk? she just hands you the tea and leans her shoulder against yours.

you could cry just from that.

she glances at your phone once when it lights up on the coffee table.

more missed calls, another “please” from paige

you don’t reach for it.

“you want me to tell her you’re okay?” nai says quietly.

you nod.

your throat’s too tight to speak.

she types something, slides her phone face-down.

lets you breathe.

you fall asleep curled on her couch, wrapped in paige’s hoodie like muscle memory.

—

back at home, paige’s apartment is too quiet.

she stands in the hallway for ten minutes staring at the door after you leave.

then she tries calling you.

once.

twice.

again.

she doesn’t mean to start crying, but she does.

it hits her like a crash—the weight of what she said. the way you looked at her like she’d just proven your worst fear right. the hoodie gone.

she can’t sit still. she paces the bedroom. opens and closes her notes app. starts to write something—erases it.

tries a voice memo.

records it. re-records it.

finally sends the third one.

paigeyyy 💗

0:56

it’s just her voice, shaky and wrecked.

“i didn’t mean it. god, i didn’t mean any of it. i’m sorry. i’m so sorry. i don’t know what’s wrong with me but i know i never want to make you look at me like that again. please come home. please.”

she sits on the floor by the bed with her arms around her knees and stares at the door.

you’re her calm. her constant. her tether to the part of herself she likes best.

and she just shoved you away.

—

paige still can’t sleep.

it’s currently 2AM and the sheets feel too cold without you. her hands feel empty.

her mind replays every second of your argument a few hours ago like a highlight reel in reverse—what she said, how she said it, the look on your face after.

her guilt is bone-deep.

she gets sits up and paces once around the apartment before sitting on the edge of the bed. your pillow still smells like your shampoo.

she closes her eyes and breathes it in like a prayer.

maybe you’re gone for real. maybe this time, she pushed too far.

the hoodie you left behind is still on the floor. she picks it up. hugs it to her chest.

so when she wakes up—or doesn’t, really—and hears the hum of the fridge and the quiet clink of a glass cup, she thinks she’s dreaming.

she sits up slowly. heartbeat stuttering.

she finds you standing at the counter, back to her, pouring coffee into one of the mugs you brought from your dorm. the one with the chipped edge.

“hey,” she says, soft. broken. barely above a whisper.

you turn around.

her eyes are red. her voice sounds like it hasn’t worked right since last night.

she sees the hoodie still on you and it makes her crumble a little.

“i’m sorry,” she says, immediately. “i didn’t mean what i said. i was scared and insecure and i lashed out. and that’s not fair to you. you’ve been everything. you always are.”

you nod, slowly.

“you really hurt me,” you whisper.

her face breaks.

“i know,” she says. “and i hate myself for it.”

you let her words settle. then say, “i know i’m not a teammate. i know i don’t run plays or drop stats or sit in on film. but i see you. i’ve always seen you. and that should’ve been enough.”

paige steps forward, slow like she’s afraid she’ll scare you off.

“i know,” she says. “and you’re right. i just… i didn’t know where to put it all. the pressure, the disappointment, the noise in my head.”

she swallows.

“you’ve been my quiet in all of this. and i… pushed you away.”

you nod.

“yeah.”

“i love you,” she says. “more than basketball. more than winning. you’re the thing i’m proudest of.”

that’s what breaks you.

your throat tightens again—but this time it’s not from hurt.

“you’re just not allowed to say i don’t get it,” you whisper. “not when i see you. all of you.”

she steps closer. still slow. still cautious.

“can i hold you?”

you nod.

she crosses the room in three steps, and suddenly she’s there—arms around your waist, face buried in your neck, whole body dropping into yours like she’s letting herself be safe again.

you exhale into her shoulder. close your eyes.

“don’t do that again,” you whisper.

“i won’t,” she murmurs. “i swear. you’re the best thing in my life.”

you kiss her temple.

she kisses the inside of your wrist.

“come home?” she asks.

you glance around. technically you’re already here.

but you know what she means.

“yeah,” you say. “okay.”

and for the first time in twenty-four hours, both of you breathe like you believe you’re allowed to.

—

you’re on the couch, her head in your lap, your fingers in her hair. the tv’s on, but neither of you are watching.

her hand finds yours. she holds it like a lifeline.

you trace soft letters on the back of her palm— just little things.

L, then O, then V.

you don’t finish the word.

you don’t have to. she squeezes your hand like she feels it anyway.

she kisses your wrist like she’s saying sorry again.

and in that moment—it doesn’t matter if she wins or loses the next game.

you’re here.

and she knows it.

and this—this is the part the world never sees.

but it’s the part that saves her, every time.

[lawlightautismtruther]

Love how absolutely NOTHING in Light’s life was important after L died to the point where we cut, what is it? 5, 6 years in the future before anything matters again? That’s insane. We got absolutely zero insight into his attitudes towards L after he was gone, which almost makes me think he took it just as rough as he did victorious, which is something that Obha didn’t want to portray as to not disturb the sort of “stoic” tone he’s obsessed with giving everybody for some reason.

I’ve said it before, but I don’t think Light is emotionless either. I think he’s quite literally two people in one body. Light Yagami and Kira. Unfortunately, Kira is the stronger and more frequent of the two entities. But still, when I rewatch death note, I catch glimpses of Light Yagami here and there (pre-Yotsuba of course, because that wouldn’t count). I’ll talk about those instances in the future, but yeah. Kira took delight in L’s death. Light was destroyed by it.

Actually, I think Light’s instinctual reaction to L falling to the floor was distress. You can see it in his face before it shifts to a smile. He’s actually upset by it to the point where I wouldn’t doubt BOTH of them teared up in those last moments before that shit-eating Kira grin shows up. (Obha/Obata would never actually show this, unfortunately 🙄) I even think the scream wasn’t entirely acting. He wasn’t scared about the shinigami though, Light screamed because L ACTUALLY died. He did it. Light got what he wanted and now his only friend is fucking dead.

Do I think Kira laughed at L’s graveside? Yes. I do. But I think Light cried first. I genuinely have reason to believe in that.

I headcanon a Light Yagami gripping the bathroom sink or toilet seat, throwing up and crying in the immediate aftermath lmfao. I genuinely don’t believe that it was all sunshine and rainbows, hence the time skip. It’s not just because it was uneventful, it’s because portraying that time period would force Obha to get into the grief more than he was willing to.

I WHOLEHEARTEDLY believe every word I just said.

[tgmsunmontue]

O is for Oceanographer (one shot)

3k Hangster - Teen/G* - While deployed at sea sometime in 2010 Jake finds a YouTube channel featuring a research oceanographer called Bradley Bradshaw. He likes how passionate Bradley is. Among other things. *I know - I'm shocked too

A is for Acoustic Doppler Current Profiler (ADCP)

                Jake stares out over the wide expanse of dark blue water, watches it swirl and eddy as the carrier cuts through it and wonders what makes whirlpools naturally occur in the ocean. He knows they do, because he's seen them several times. He remembers vaguely reading something in a book back in high school, or maybe a documentary. He finds the ocean pretty fascinating, and he respects it. Can't be in the Navy and not be aware of just how beautiful but treacherous it can be.

                Later, when he’s lying in is rack, killing time before he’s tired enough to fall asleep, headphones on to try and dampen some of the clanking racket that echoes around, he pulls up YouTube and types in a couple of words. A selection of videos appear but there’s one that catches his eye, and it’s definitely because the guy is kinda cute; grinning and squinting in the still, hand up to partially shade his eyes and he’s shirtless. Jake appreciates that too.

                Then the guy starts talking, and he has a nice voice, a Californian accent, he smiles easily and grins at the camera. He’s around Jake’s age and clearly passionate about the ocean, talking, rambling really, about anything and everything. Some of his explanations are so technical Jake doesn’t really understand what he’s saying, but decides he doesn’t need to understand to enjoy the sights and sounds that Bradley, that’s his name, is showing him. One video rolls to the next and Jake falls asleep to the sounds of Bradley talking away in his ear.

                “As always, feel free to drop me any questions you might have about the ocean and I’ll either answer them, or they could even be the topic of one of my future videos.”

B is for Bottom Pressure Recorder (BPR)

                It becomes part of his bedtime routine and he rewatches some of the videos over and over, downloads them onto his phone to save on the data costs. Months slip by and he starts to understand what exactly an ADCP is and does, and why it’s important to Bradley’s research. Which is all about the speed and direction of currents, with particular attention to nutrient movement for tracking food sources. Bradley is clearly busy, and life aboard a research vessel is clearly as disciplined as a Navy carrier.

                “Hi again, my name is Bradley Bradshaw and today we’re going to be installing a BPR, which is short for Bottom Pressure Recorder.”

                In the video Bradley is wearing a wetsuit, but it’s hanging around his waist and he’s smiling at whoever is holding the camera. Jake knows that the videos are day, if not weeks or months old, but it’s kind of nice to think about someone else sailing around on the ocean and doing something they consider just as exciting and important as what Jake thinks he does. Bradley is explaining what a Bottom Pressure Recorder does and how he’s lending a helping hand today for someone else’s research project and Jake adds it to the little list he’s formulated in his head, that he helps out his friends or colleagues. That he smiles easily and laughs. Is passionate.

                “Now a BPR measures the change in pressure within the water column at the bottom of the ocean. It can help us monitor tsunamis and tidal changes. But also it can help monitor movement beneath the crust.”

                “Magma baby!” someone calls out from offscreen and Bradley laughs, rolls his eyes but doesn’t stop grinning at the camera and Jake finds himself grinning back.

                “Yes, and magma. What I’m more excited about is this,” Bradley says, and he’s holding up a Styrofoam cup. “Now. This here is a Styrofoam cup. We’ve got a collection of them, and as you can see we’ve all been using our time very efficiently decorating them.” The camera jerks to the side to show a lot more cups, all highly and intricately doodled and decorated. “Now, we will be bringing those with us, at about thirty-three feet the weight of the water pressure starts applying accumulated weight, around fifteen pound per square inch –”

                “Fourteen-point-seven!”

                “Adam!”

                There’s laughter and Jake wonders if the pressure from deep diving is similar to pulling Gs. Bradley has continued talking, is pulling on the wetsuit and zipping it up and Jake bites his lip as he watches the other man’s muscles flex and shift. Yeah. He’s been alone at sea for a long while. Fortunately though Bradley releases two to three videos a week. Sometimes they’re twenty or thirty minutes long. And sometimes they’re only five minutes, with him answering a question or two that commenters have left and Jake wonders if he could ask about the comparison of diving pressure to Gs. He doesn’t bother though, he’ll go deep diving one day and learn for himself.

                “So, I’m out here with little to no social life, so feel free to drop me a comment and ask any burning questions you might have.”

C is for Cusp

                They have forty-eight hours of shore leave and he’s going to make the most of it. Once he shakes off his colleagues, who are all staring along the beach. Javy at least knows he’s wanting to go out and hook up, will let him make an easy exit. But he has time yet.

                “What do you think makes those crescent shapes?”

                Jake looks out at what they’re all looking at and huffs.

                “They’re called cusps.”

                “What?”

                “The formation along the beach like that. They’re called cusps,” Jake provides, because he knows that. Bradley had done a series of three videos about them, from the coarse pebble beaches the bigger cobbles and Jake is pretty sure he could talk about standing waves and sedimentation rates and longshore drift if he needed to, it’s one of his favorite videos.

                “You suddenly an expert on the ocean?”

                “No. Just more educated than you lot. And if I was an expert on cusps I’d be an expert in coastal geomorphology, not oceanography…”

                “Since when did you take an interest in the ocean?”

                “We’re in the Navy, seems stupid not to have at least a passing knowledge of it,” Jake says, and he’s practiced this in the mirror, looking blasé as he waves off his depth of knowledge. There are eyerolls, because of course there are. They think he’s an arrogant asshole, and he is, but it’s not the only part of him. He’s just not going to waste energy on people that don’t seem to bother learning more about him.

                Later that night, after he’s received a passable blowjob and given one in return he curls into his rack, not prepared to pay for a room on shore when he doesn’t have to. Plus he got a notification that Bradley post a new video and he always tries to watch new ones as soon as he can.

                “Bit of a shit day for me today. Won’t be a long video. Just… might delete this later anyway. It’s the anniversary of my mom’s death and I’m stuck out here on a boat away from everyone. Sometimes that’s nice. And sometimes it just makes me feel even more lonely than ever…”

                It’s the saddest Jake has ever seen him, and he knows Bradley likely puts on a happy face for the majority of his videos, seems like a generally happy person. This feels private. Open and vulnerable in a way that Jake hasn’t seen before and for the first time he feels like reaching out, maybe actually commenting, but he has no idea what to say even as Bradley rambles on about walking along the beach with his mom and eating ice-cream and watching the waves hit the sand. How the ocean makes him feel close to both his parents. Jake hadn’t realized that they were both dead and

                “As always, feel free to drop me any questions you might have about the ocean and I’ll either answer them, or they could even be the topic of one of my future videos.”

D is for Diving

                “So I got my diving certificate when I was doing my undergraduate study, then when I was doing my postdoc I became a PADI accredited instructor as a side hustle, so some of the others on the ship with me are building up their dive hours.”

                He’s been watching Bradley for over five years now, followed him onto Spotify where he sometimes appears in a friend’s podcast. Jake has a new appreciation for patterned shirts and moustaches but also tanned muscled skin and easy smiles. He’s well aware he has a crush on a complete stranger, even if Bradley doesn’t feel like a stranger. He knows when his birthday is, when his mom and dad both passed away. He also knows Bradley has deleted the short private video that Jake thinks only a handful of people saw.

                “I used to dream of flying, and I still like flying… but there’s something hidden and mysterious about the depths of the ocean which are just… a little bit more scary and unknown. We still don’t know everything about it, probably never will. And I find that far more interesting and compelling than flying these days.”

                He watches, listens to his voice with his eyes closed and then, because he sometimes has time to kill; reads the comments. Bradley replies to some of the more ridiculous comments stating very firmly that he won’t ever share his precise location, or anything about his current personal life. Jake doesn’t blame him. He’s gone from having a few hundred subscribers to having close to one million. Some people are weird.

                “Today we’re meeting up with an aircraft carrier today, can’t tell you the name for security reasons, but they’ve got a couple of researches on board who are joining us for the next leg of our journey.”

                Jake blinks, wonders when the hell that must have happened, because obviously they’re on the same ocean sometimes, but knowing he’d possibly been so close has him feeling oddly nervous, which isn’t like him at all.

                “As always, feel free to drop me any questions you might have about the ocean and I’ll either answer them, or they could even be the topic of one of my future videos.”

E is for Eutrophication

                “So some of you already might think you know what I do, but I also look at the release of excess nutrients, particularly as they move up and down the water column and then impact upon the ecosystems within the ocean. My original research was based around currents and tides, but as the ocean warms there’s more research funding in nutrient movement. Not that there’s much funding for that either, but I’ll still take it.”

                Jake has been watching Bradley for over eight years now. It’s weird, having watched him grow older along with him, his change in haircuts, the moustache coming and going a few times before it seems to have settled on staying in place. The shirtless look being replaced with sun top and sunscreen and hats covering his curls, sunglasses perched on his nose and he often wears aviators, sometimes garish button-down patterned shirts and Jake likes it. All of it.

                Bradley still shares deeply personal information sometimes, but it’s all long past. Things about his childhood, his parents, both of whom Jake knows have passed away. He doesn’t mention any current relationships, romantic or otherwise. Hell. The man could be married for all Jake knows. Could have kids. Although he suspects Bradley would be too proud of kids to not boast about them, given the way he talks about his graduate students.

                “Today we’re actually near shore, which means waves! Which means surfing! Now… I will be the first to admit I am not great at staying on my board, but when you catch the perfect wave and it’s just you, being pushed toward the shore by the force of the ocean behind you? Better than flying. And before you ask, or defend flying, know that I get to go flying plenty. As always, feel free to drop me any questions you might have about the ocean and I’ll either answer them, or they could even be the topic of one of my future videos.”

                Jake still hasn’t ever left a comment, but like with all the others before it he clicks the little thumbs up icon.

F is for Face to Face

                “Sorry I’m late pops,” Jake says with a grin, because it’s their little in-joke now. Also he knows he’s not late, simply the last one to arrive, but then again he’s always liked making an entrance.

                “You’re alright Hangman, come on in. I think everyone is here, but you probably planned it that way,” Maverick states, and Jake grins again, tips his invisible hat.

                “Well, you know most everyone already, Penny and Amelia obviously. And then this here is my godson, Bradley.”

                Jake’s mouth goes dry.

                Holy shit.

                Bradley Bradshaw.

                “Yep. That’s me…”

                Jake realizes he must have said the other man’s name out loud.

                “You know each other?” Maverick asks.

                “No. We’ve never met. I’d remember,” Bradley says, and he’s looking at Jake with one eyebrow slightly quirked, lip twitching in maybe amusement. He’s taller than Jake, and he hadn’t ever seriously thought about what Bradley might be like face-to-face. Jake can’t take his eyes off his moustache and he locks his jaw, doesn’t want to accidentally blurt out that he’s thought about it on his body. Fuck. The other Daggers are watching him and he hopes the smile he pastes on is at least halfway convincing.

                “Huh. Well. Hangman here is the reason I’m still around.”

                “Pretty sure that’s meant to be classified Mav…”

                “Well. He also threw me out of the Hard Deck only a couple of days after I ejected from another classified thing so… swings and roundabouts, right?”

                “He what? Did you?” Bradley asks, and he seems torn between worried about Mav’s previous ejection and delight at the idea of Jake tossing Maverick out.

                “I didn’t do it by myself!” Jake offers quickly in defense, and Maverick, the asshole, is laughing.

                “Can I get you something to drink Hangman?”

                “Yeah. Thanks. Whatever you’re having is fine…”

                “Hangman here is obsessed with the ocean, always dropping little facts into the conversation. You two can probably talk each other’s ears off…”

                Jake grimaces, because all the facts he knows about the ocean come directly from the man standing in front of him, although he’s not stopped looking at Jake with interest and he knows that kind of interest at least and he’s trying very hard to play it cool. He accepts the bottle of beer from Maverick, glad that it gives him something to do. Fortunately the Daggers were already mid-conversation of games of cornhole, and usually he’d muscle his way into competing but…

                “So…” Bradley starts, and he takes a slow sip of his drink and Jake watches his throat as he swallows, the movement of his lips and the way his tongue pokes out to the side as he looks at him. “You looked a little spooked to see me. Any particular reason for that? We haven’t hooked up and I ghosted you?”

                Jake shakes his head, and he guesses there’s his answer about whether Bradley would ever go out on a date with him. Maybe.

                “I’ve… watched your videos. On YouTube.”

                “Oh. Cool. Because you like the ocean huh? That why you joined the Navy?”

                Jake bites his lip, considers lying. He knows he can turn this around, make himself appear smooth and cocky… except he’s seen Bradley through some of his saddest moments, as well as some of his best. He’s aware enough to understand it doesn’t mean he knows him, but it also means he feels like he owes him the same level of openness and honesty.

                “I joined the Navy to fly. I liked the ocean fine, but… your videos have made me love it.”

                “Yeah?”

                “Yeah. Been watching you. For years actually.”

                “Oh… you ever comment?”

                “No. Came close a couple of times, but… no.”

                “Shame. We might have met earlier.”

                “And what would have happened then?”

                “Could have asked you out.”

                “You make a habit of asking out strangers on the internet?”

                “Nope,” Bradley says, and he looks like he’s holding back a laugh and Jake feels like a laugh is bubbling up inside him at the ridiculousness of the conversation. “Going to ask you out now though. If that’s something you’d be interested in.”

                “Definitely interested.”

                The smile Bradley gives him is slow and pleased.

                “Good to know. Put your number in?” Bradley asks, handing his phone over and Jake takes it, will pass his own over as soon as he has a free hand.

                “If you put yours in mine…”

                “Oh, I have every intention of doing just that…”

                Jake chokes as he processes the innuendo but then he’s laughing, handing Bradley’s phone back to him and fishing his own out of his pocket; as Bradley’s fingers brush over his Jake finds himself glad he stumbled across Bradley’s channel all those years ago, because he doesn’t know if this meeting would have gone as smoothly otherwise.

G is for Groom

                “As always, feel free to drop me any questions you might have about the ocean and I’ll either answer them, or they could even be the topic of one of my future videos.”

                Jake grins, because he’s still never left a comment even now, eighteen months after meeting Bradley in person for the first time and no doubt becoming his biggest fan. He just lets him know directly. But this? He wants everyone to know and see…

>>Ever thought of marrying a stranger on the internet?

[umathurwin]

Omg hi! I feel like I’m the only sofia hater out there bc all i see are people loving her character is so boring to me and her and rafe relationship seems so forced to me like she is supposed to help him reconcile with his sister but instead, she spent all season doing nothing apart from the hollis plot

being called a sofia hater cracks me up because i feel like i never talk about her, in fact i usually forget she exists 😭 but i’ll accept it, because i really do hate the way her character (which had a great premise) was totally wasted

a youtuber i really love once described pansy parkinson from harry potter as “an original character wearing the skin of a minor character” and i think that perfectly encapsulates sofia. they make these moodboards, these stories, these elaborate headcanons about a character we know little to nothing about. do i respect it? hell yes. it takes a lot of work. but to have these intense convictions and arguments about a 0.5-dimensional character… WHY?

i went and rewatched every scene in s4 where she even just appears and wrote down my thoughts on them (despite how tedious this was… the action really does rely on the pogues) and like… wow. where do i start

her s4 introduction is the scene where rafe scatters ward’s ashes on the boat, and it’s awkward but in a fair way. i wouldn’t really know what to do either. in the same episode, she’s at the enduro cheering for rafe, but she is inexplicably standing TOTALLY by herself. i still have no idea if this was just filmed oddly or if it was deliberate but this photo kills me… girl why are you alone? at no other point is she physically excluded from the kooks like this. wtf

and after that? nearly every single moment she and rafe share the screen? he’s awful to her. he verbally mocks her in the bar when she tries to calm him down. he flirts with hollis right in sofia’s face and abases her for feeling hurt. he dismisses her every time she tries to express her opinion. rafe does not respect his girlfriend, nor does he care about her thoughts and values. how do i know?

because she knows. how exactly did she convince him to take the deal, again? well, first she says she thinks it’s a good idea, which merely amuses him. then, she makes up a lie about other club members denigrating rafe and how this deal could improve his social status—i believe this to be a fabrication because it easily could’ve and should’ve been explicit on screen if true— and this causes him make up his mind. she knows rafe’s insecurities. she knows what does and doesn’t entice him. and yeah, i’ll be honest, sometimes it makes me sick to think about how deeply she knows this man, and how little he knows/cares about her

rafe brings up marriage, living together, a future with sofia. but do you notice anything about his big grand speeches? ever notice how, when he’s describing his fantasy, it revolves around material things he can own and show off— and sofia has always been one of them? rafe never has anything to say about what she specifically does for him, what he likes about her. bc… what does he like about her? rafe is unfortunately, at the end of the day, selfish. he focuses on what he’ll be able to give her, and what having a pretty wife says about him. the occupant of that role is, well, interchangeable

when rafe “proposed” to her and she did not confess the scam, i knew it was over. this is rafe cameron we’re talking about, a man who values loyalty more than anything in the world, and that was her last shot at coming clean before it was too late. committing a betrayal (well…in the eyes of the narrative…more on that in a sec) and hiding it from him? guys there was zero chance of him learning the truth and forgiving her. i watched the premier with my mother and i even turned to her and said we just watched the final nail go into the coffin. and it did!

(also, not to beat a dead horse, but even after he gives her the ring and he leaves to morocco, he dismissively excludes her again! “i have to go” “what are you doing?” “don’t worry about it, bye!” and she just takes it?! STAND UP!)

fundamentally, sofia’s “betrayal” plotline was weak or, at the very least, not very well thought-out. it’s like the idea of sofia going behind rafe’s back was pitched, but they were unsure how to integrate that into the season. the explosive reaction that rafe had when groff revealed the plot seemed contrived, like the show wanted to put more of the blame on sofia than was warranted. rafe had all but made up his mind by the time sofia had been paid off; to claim that she was the big catalyst in his decision is unfair and literally just wrong. sure, he liked her giving her blessing (because he already wanted to say yes), but i have a really, really genuine question for all of you.

if she had said no, would he have called off the deal?

(spoiler, no. because when she changed her mind after learning of the scam, he dismissed her yet again. the show has countless opportunities for rafe to just care about his girlfriend, and he never takes them!)

while i’m nitpicking, she also never learns any information via her own efforts. every single time she uncovers a new detail, it’s because she’s working around a loud-mouth kook who coincidentally says the right thing at the right moment as she refills their ewers. fuck, can we give her a CRUMB of agency? please?

and yeah, i don’t even engage in any theory that sofia helped rafe reunite with his family. did she ever give any meaningful advice to him? she didn’t even have context—was he ever planning on telling her exactly what he’d done to sarah and her friends? could sarah even pick this girl out of a lineup?! ya, she really is the glue in the cameron dynamic. lol

counter arguments i’m ready to address:

“he takes the deal for her!” funny because,,, he really doesn’t. we even watch the reason he takes the deal— his family. rafe likes the opportunity from the jump but is hesitant because of the investment, and a dreamy montage of him, ward, and sarah is what cements his decision. sofia canonically had nothing to do with it

“but he says he’s taking the deal for him and sofia when he’s alone with hollis!” correct! but you’ll notice he literally only brings her up when hollis starts hitting on him. he’s not attracted to hollis, and her advances make him visibly uncomfortable. bringing up sofia was a way to shut down hollis without explicitly telling a business partner to get off his ass

“rafe brings up sofia’s opinion of the deal with groff!” true, but i actually see this as a display of rafe’s tact and emotional intelligence. rafe is suspicious that he’s been scammed, but it’s genuinely not wise to barge into the office of the man who has $400k of your money and your testicles in his fist to start threatening him— even when he’s not a murderer. “hey… so my gf thinks you’re scamming me… thoughts?” he’s being coy. he’s being smart. he’s not bringing up sofia in a loverboy context. cmon

***

deep inhale. okay, i’m done. i’m sorry i always forget about her. but it’s so much better than the alternative

[unfortunatelyilikebnha]

The best tdmd moments/things (to me; vaguely but not entirely chronological) (also I haven’t read the manga in ages and I’ve only - recently at least - rewatched bits and pieces so some of this is paraphrased while some of it I went back through to get exact quotes and NO I’m not going to do that for all of them it would take too long) (readmore bc it’s a lot):

- “As the crowd shouted, trying to make Sero feel better, Todoroki took a moment to melt his opponent from the ice prison he’d created. For some reason, in that moment, he looked very sad to me.” Ok so this is not the sports festival moment everyone talks about but it LIVES in my head ABSOLUTELY RENT FREE. It’s like, we know Todoroki’s been watching Midoriya for a while, mostly due to his obvious connection with All Might, but in this moment, while everyone is focusing on Sero, Midoriya is Watching Todoroki Back. He Sees Him.

- MIDORIYA TELLING ENDEAVOR THAT HE IS NOT ALL MIGHT AND SHOUTO IS NOT HIM. Midoriya is freeeeeaked tf out bc endvr is intimidating + he’s worried he’ll discover the secret of OFA but the SECOND endvr starts talking like an asshole, Midoriya SHUTS THAT SHIT DOWN. Again, Midoriya has had like ONE conversation with Todoroki and actively Really Wants To Get Away From Endeavor, but he just gets so mad about the way that Endeavor’s talking that he pauses his retreat to correct him and I think that’s beautiful.

- One of Todoroki’s episodes/chapters being titled “The boy born with everything” and how you could easily contrast Midoriya as “The boy born with nothing” (I could not find a definitive answer on whether canon actually calls him that but like). The juxtaposition of their opposite struggles and the underlying understanding that underneath it all they are really not that different. That they have both suffered, and are both trying to make the most of a power with a difficult legacy. (This brings me to the next point because -)

- “It’s your power, isn’t it?”/“It’s yours! Your quirk, not his!” Yeah. I don’t even have to explain this one I think, everyone knows it’s THE tddk moment. I’ll forever die on the hill that Todoroki should’ve found out about OFA sooner and we should’ve had a direct reversal while Midoriya was still struggling with thinking of OFA as his quirk instead of All Might’s and Todoroki repeats Midoriya’s words right back at him. I mean, Horikoshi LOVES to do that (see: repetition of “body moved without thinking”, “meddling when you aren’t asked to is the essence of being a hero”, “that’s what friends are for, right?” etc) the setup was RIGHT THERE, like taking my shipping goggles or whatever off for a second I think it would’ve been a great addition to the story regardless bc it’s an example of how Midoriya has helped other people AND a reminder that he has not quite conceptualized the advice he gives others for himself! Even without that though, we see how important this moment was to Todoroki literally throughout the rest of his arc, to the point that

- “Midoriya, this is my power. Thank you.” IF WE DIDNT GET TDRK TELLING MDYA THAT OFA WAS HIS QUIRK, AT LEAST WE GOT THIS. MY GOD. I was trying to go mostly chronologically, but since we’re talking about a follow-up to “It’s your power, isn’t it?” I HAD to mention this scene next. It’s a really lovely moment because 1) it’s an acknowledgement of how much Todoroki’s grown (which he did on his own! Midoriya reminded him of why he wanted to become a hero in the first place, and he had a lot of support from friends (& teachers/family) but TODOROKI decided to put in the work to become the kind of hero he wanted to be!) and 2) it’s a reminder to Midoriya that he has made a positive impact and helped the people around him, which I think he’s probably struggling with since this is like. Soon after his dropout arc iirc. (Also: it’s a cool new super move that Todoroki developed himself to try to create a better future for his family!! Which, setting aside how beautiful it is that Todoroki has crafted his fire into something that won’t hurt, is also fun bc Midoriya loves quirks and gets to nerd out over Todoroki’s cool new move lol)

- TODOROKI SHOWING UP TO THE STAIN FIGHT. Todoroki has been friends with Midoriya for like a week and gets a location pin with no other context and IMMEDIATELY deduces that 1) Midoriya’s not the kind of guy to randomly drop his location so 2) he must be in danger, and 3) IMMEDIATELY TELLS ENDEAVOR HE’S GOING TO CHECK OUT THE LOCATION AND TO BRING BACKUP TO THERE AFTER HE’S DONE FIGHTING BC HE THINKS HIS FRIEND’S IN TROUBLE. When he actually shows up the first thing he says is something like “Midoriya you should include more details at a time like this. It took me a while to figure out what you meant and I could’ve been too late” but we literally see in the flashback that he figured this all out in like 2 seconds and IMMEDIATELY came to support Midoriya AND SECURED BACKUP. Every person in Midoriya’s phone received the location pin and expressed various levels of curiosity/concern about it in hindsight but Todoroki figured it out right away and immediately came to help (this isn’t a knock on the rest of 1a btw iirc the rest of them weren’t even in Hosu so there’s not anything they really could’ve done about it besides report it - which iirc Kirishima did -, it’s just that Todoroki WAS in Hosu and DID figure it out so he immediately went to help and it was that simple for him). Todoroki also just like. Instantly accepts that ok, Midoriya and Iida were fighting a serial killer, Guess He’s Also Fighting A Serial Killer Now. ALL THIS FOR HIS FRIEND OF A WEEK. This is one of the core tenets of tddkism to me: they are as ride-or-die as they come. Also notable: Midoriya is not generally in the habit of asking for help. The fact that he did, knowing nothing might come of it, AND TODOROKI SHOWED UP EXACTLY WHEN HE NEEDED HIM??? Can we acknowledge how much that probably meant to Midoriya. Also the start of tdiimd as a trio, which this post isn’t really about, but I can’t completely leave Iida out when talking abt the stain fight that’d be fucked up :(

- “We’ll protect them together”. Yes ik, another Stain fight moment, but I believe this line deserves its own point because, again, Todoroki has been Midoriya’s friend for like a week. Immediately prior to Todoroki saying this, he tells Midoriya that his plan is risky. It’s one thing to recognize Midoriya’s text as a call for help and run to be his backup, it’s another thing to let Midoriya take the strategic lead when he’s already injured and the plan itself could be dangerous. But Todoroki puts his trust in Midoriya and says they’ll protect them together, showing his confidence in Midoriya’s strategic prowess AND battle planning ability.

- “You’re a kind person, Todoroki”. Ok I’ll get this out of the way: I have issues with how the writing of this chapter could be read as implying that being a kind person automatically means you have to forgive the person who hurt you. Ik Midoriya tells Todoroki that it’s ok not to forgive Endvr if he doesn’t want to, but the way he follows it up with the fact that he’s a kind person and the assumption that he wants to forgive Endvr...aren’t my favorite. I think it kind of makes sense for Midoriya to think like this given his own experiences (and also. Midoriya is 15, some of his wording is gonna be a little bit awkward sometimes, so I don’t think that’s the only possible interpretation of what he said), but I wish that if that was the intention, there’d be a moment later on where this view was challenged and Midoriya really internalized that you can be kind and still not forgive someone who’s hurt you. THAT BEING SAID, of all the things that Todoroki is called on a regular basis, and of all the qualities Todoroki associates with himself, I don’t think “kind” is necessarily one of them. “Kindness” was not exactly a virtue that Endeavor seemed to prioritize instilling in him (and though Rei probably would’ve, she WAS absent for much of Shouto’s childhood), and he spent so much time building his walls and striving to defy his dad that it’s not something people tend to immediately pinpoint about him. Todoroki really IS kind though, and Midoriya recognizes that AND makes it a point to tell him. For Todoroki, who has worked on himself quite a lot, and just invited friends to his house probably for the first time ever + gone through a tense family dinner in front of them, I think that probably meant a lot (and his expression in that panel is so cute. Ough).

- “Thank you for being Shouto’s friend”. I think the fact that Fuyumi recognized how meaningful their friendship was and thanked Izuku for it was so significant for both of them, like neither of them, as far as we know, HAD a lot of friends prior to attending UA so the acknowledgement that it is a big deal that they befriended each other is special <3

- Tdrk catching Mdya (and bkg and endvr but this ain’t about them) during the first war arc. He doesn’t know shit about OFA at this point but he followed Midoriya to the front lines anyways.

- Todoroki tucking Midoriya in in 327 and putting a hand on his shoulder in 32…8? 9? Fuck if I know I haven’t read the manga in ages. Anyways. These are both tiny moments but I’m grouping them together bc they really show how Todoroki is there for Midoriya, in the way that he’s always noticing things about him, that he’s RELIABLE, he WANTS to be there for Midoriya like Midoriya was there for Todoroki and that manifests both in following him into terrifying fights and in the small gestures of support. Todoroki NOTICES when something’s wrong, and when he has the necessary context he steps up to help.

Bonus mentions:

- the “are you all might’s secret love child or something?” convo in its entirety. Between the Todoroki Family Trauma Dump, Midoriya sympathizing with Todoroki and realizing that despite how different their lives have been, they’re very similar, the beginning of Midoriya’s desire to help Todoroki, and the beginning of Midoriya really Seeing Todoroki, it sets the groundwork for the start of something beautiful

- AFO: “pay close attention to them, tomura shigaraki. These two could prove to be formidable obstacles to you one day”. / AM: “they may have more in common than they realize. They both have such an intense vibe about them.” The fact that both AFO and AM comment on the tdmd sports festival match leads me to believe that originally their relationship (in the original story I’m talking about the platonic sense but read this any way you will since. This IS a post abt why I ship them) was supposed to be more central to the plot, in this essay I will - (<- ramblings of a crazy person but like!!! Both AM and AFO!! And you’re telling me it didn’t mean anything??? Come on!!)

- Also “you’re helping your opponent. You’re a fool.” Their matching maniacal grins after Midoriya prompts Todoroki to use his fire. Todoroki’s softer smile and little tear. Mdya’s “Amazing…”. Them immediately deciding to go full force regardless if it kills them (IMPORTANT FACT ABOUT THEM IS THAT THEY’RE INSANE <3). “Midoriya…thank you.” (OUGHHHHHHHHH 😭😭😭)

- MDYA YELLING “DONT GIVE UP” DURING THE TDRK/BKG MATCH AND FOR A BRIEF MOMENT TODOROKI STARTS USING HIS FIRE AGAIN. Ik he ultimately doesn’t end up using his fire, but that makes SENSE, you can’t process all that trauma immediately, it takes time!! The fact that for a moment, Midoriya’s voice was enough to allow him to use his fire so soon after his life-altering revelation in the tdmd match is so important to me though :( (and the fact that Midoriya’s willing to 1) root for Todoroki and 2) root for him loud enough that both Todoroki and Bkg can hear,,, ohh tdmd are so special to me)

- their little convo at the training camp. “You have a habit of sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong” lol (paraphrased). Underrated tdmd thing is that they’re willing to tell it to each other straight. But also, the genuinely good advice of “words themselves aren’t enough, actions are also needed to get through to someone” (again, paraphrased) (reminder of how Mdya helped Tdrk!! W/ words AND actions!! And now he’s helping Mdya help Kota!)

- “I don’t know, I think heroes cry when they need to probably” - acknowledges Mdya’s crying as a positive trait bc when he’s not crying it means he’s repressing things, also serves as a reminder that heroes are people too (a similar sentiment to Uraraka’s “who will save the heroes when they need saving?”). Serves to remind Mdya that his crying doesn’t make him less of a hero + it’s ok to feel things. Also Tdiimd.

- “You can’t even cry”/“Let us share that burden together” (this is like. Veeeery paraphrased I’m sorry I don’t have access to the chapter and I’m too lazy to rewatch). The whole class said very meaningful things to try to get Midoriya to come back, but even though he wasn’t ultimately the one to fully get through to him (SHOUTOUT TO IIDA ILY IIDA THIS POST ISNT ABOUT HIM EITHER BUT JUST KNOW I CANT WATCH THAT SCENE WITHOUT TEARING UP THEY R SO DEAR TO ME) Todoroki’s is one of my favorites bc sure maybe he doesn’t understand what it’s like to have no quirk and then suddenly have a quirk that’s actually seven quirks and have a pretty much all-powerful supervillain hunting him down but he DOES understand the burden of trying to shoulder the crushing legacy of a top hero, and here he reaches out to Midoriya once more reminding him that his tears are a good thing and offering to share the burden and help Midoriya like Midoriya’s helped him.

- Light novel moments: Mdya teaching Tdrk how to make AM origami and Tdrk sending it to Rei, Tdrk going to return Mdyas pencil and admiring Mdyas AM figure and Mdya trying to give it to him bc he has another one but Tdrk refuses bc he doesn’t want to damage it so he suggests he just come visit it instead (I haven’t read the light novels but I’ve seen these excerpts and I love them dearly) (these are just all really cute it’s nice to see what they’re like outside of doing hero stuff)

- Todoroki’s “Midoriya Sense” (yes this is a fandom joke based on like the stain incident + noticing smth was up during the “heroes cry too” incident + Todoroki asking abt him before the cultural festival etc but it IS genuinely very sweet that Todoroki is always looking out for Midoriya and trying his best to help when he can)

- TODOROKI TELLING MIDORIYA TO REMOVE THE BATTERIES FROM HIS PHONE SO THE GOVERNMENT COULDNT TRACK HIM WHILE HE WAS ON THE RUN BC HE WAS A MURDER SUSPECT. Now I haven’t watched the third movie so I may be wrong about the details but it was VERY funny of Tdrk to be like “did you kill people??? Never mind that actually here’s how to avoid the government” (paraphrased for comedic effect)

-“Midoriya and the others” (cute, something Shouto says…several times lmao) (Izuku has also said “Todoroki and the others” at least once (in the first movie) but I’m not aware of it being a recurring phrase like “Midoriya and the others”)

[kodamaghost00]

30 Charlie headcanons

———————————————————

[Disclaimer!!]

I know Chaggie is canon but for the sakes of this post Charlie will be single. [Im a passionate chaggie shipper pls don’t kill me]

This post will contain: NSFW,Sfw, Fluff, Smut

It's also Genderless for the girls,gays and theys! You're a new resident at the Hotel in this scenario.

———————————————————

Let’s begin!

Her favorite nicknames for you are “Sunshine” and “Pumpkin”. And everything sweet in general.

She makes you breakfast every morning and gets excited when you do the same.

Loves morning cuddles. She’d stay in bed just enjoying the embrace and warmth of your body.

Would not really understand your interests but enjoys seeing you being happy. So she will engage and learn about your interests and hobbies. “So you’re into that? Sounds interesting, Sunshine!”

She is definitely an early sleeper. She wants to get the most out of a day as possible.

Listens to 2017 white girl music on a daily basis and you guys vibe all the time.

After she got to meet Rosie she always went to her for advice or help in general.

She gets very flustered and ashamed when people as about her sexual life and declines to talk about it openly.

She likes PDA a lot though. Showing off her perfect partner with kisses and hand holding? Fuck yeah!

She definitely confessed her love to you first. She gave you flowers and a love letter wich read “Please be mine and go on a date with me!”. With an adorable doodle next to it.

She’s more of a dog person but loves KeeKee with her whole heart.

She’s is surprisingly dominant in bed. She pins you down aggressively but afterwards asks you if you are okay with it.

She is very flexible so there are many poses you guys could try out.

She enjoys oral a bit more than anything else. Seeing you shutter under her control makes her feel very reassured.

She definitely goes into her demon form when she’s close. Her tail wrapping around her waist trying to keep her composer.

Great at aftercare. She makes sure you feel reassured and comfortable once you’re finished. Cuddles and kisses are a must.

“Are you comfortable pumpkin? Would you like a towel?” And also whispering reassurance to you is important. “You did great by the way… you look so cute!”. A total sweetheart.

She is great with all sorts of people. Even the ones who are really disrespectful to her. So sometimes you keep those people in place.

Won’t curse until she needs to. She isn’t really going hard on the curses when she does curse. A simple “Fuck you” or “Motherfucker” is enough for her.

She absolutely adores kids. She also wants at least two in the future.

Gets shy easily. When you compliment her hair or her big round eyes she gets flustered right away.

In her emo phase she definitely said “ITS NOT A PHASE!” and now she looks back on it and laughs every time.

Hopes she will see Emily again one day. They definitely had a great time together.

If you’re not able to sleep at night she’s singing you to sleep. With your head on her lap and her playing with your hair.

LOVED the Barbie movie and rewatched it twice. And cried at the ending.

She is an hardworking woman so she’s encouraging you to help her out a lot. Trying to make you feel included!

When she gets overwhelmed she locks herself in her room and cries herself to sleep.

“Hey Charlie…? Are you okay…?” You asked knowing she’s feeling down. “Y-yeah! I’m fine pumpkin… don’t worry!!” “You don’t have to pretend my love…”

She sighed as she opened her door. You see her puffed up eyes so you open your arms wide. “Come here…” she hugs you deeply. “Thank you…”

You kiss her forehead as she embraces the hug. “No need to thank me sweetheart.”

———————————————————

MASTERLIST

Yes I know no one asked for this but I love Charlie so you gotta listen to me rant about her. Give my girly more love and attention! So as always I’d love to get some requests for characters, I’ll try to do all of them but there’s so many! Thanks for reading my dear friends and have a lovely day/night!

- Your Ghost ༼ つ ╹ ╹ ༽つ

[bloomingskullz]

Now that Mers officially over can I talk about how much Theo and Mer has meant to me.

Mer came out when I was still a sophomore in high school (15 years old) and at the point I was still figuring out my own gender and identity stuff, so seeing a character actively working through the same things as me meant the world to me.

Me and Theo have similar struggles with our transness and that’s hard to find rep for. Feeling like you’re not enough for the gender you know you are and thinking you’re still just that little girl no matter what you’ve tried. Being able to watch Theo go through that struggle but still be accepted by house around him and by himself is part of the reason I think I’ve been so accepting of myself. At the beginning of mer I wouldn’t be wearing or doing half the things i am now just cause of how uncomfortable it would make me to look “like a girl”. And well a lot of dysphoria and discomfort for still present I’m able to handle everything a whole lot better.

Not even just being queer wise Theo is so similar to me and I see so much of me in him. Being overprotective of people we consider family, being paranoid about things constantly, and worrying about everything. And then being able to see him grow and change from that makes it seem like I could get better with it too. Even if those are still struggle with watching mer shows that I could stop feeling this way.

Theo is like a light showing me what my future could look like and I’m so thankful that I was able to find it.

Mer became a big part of my life (even if I only really watched heyhays pov) from the moment I watched the first vod. I would recap the newest episode to my friend durning chemistry almost every class ( I thing I still do with him). Being able to watch this story play out from the very beginning was a magical ride that I’ll miss being on.

I’ll miss coming home and instantly watching the newest lore of Theo. I’ll miss rewatching the first few episodes over and over again cause that’s all I had and I was already obsessed. I’ll miss the big surprises and emotional twist this series gave us. But I’m so happy they all got the ending they deserve and that they got their stories shared.

While I’m sad to see Mer leaving that just leave more room for me to latch onto the smp they put out. 

[violettathepiratequeen]

May 11th, 2025

Hello there, gentle viewers! Welcome back to Buffy Slays, where I’ll be going through all 144 episodes of BtVS over the course of a year, highlighting as many of the GOOD moments, lines, character choices, worldbuilding moments, etc. etc. as I think people will have the patience to read. 

So, here we go! 

Season 2, Episode 6, “Halloween.”

After renting Halloween costumes from an unusual shop, Buffy and her friends literally begin transforming into whatever costume they are wearing. (Pulled from Hulu.)

If you're reading along and haven't finished the show, consider this your Spoiler Warning for discussion of future episodes and major plot points in any and all of these posts.

Episode Number: #18 Episode Ranking: #87 out of 144. Writer: Carl Ellsworth

Top 5 Quotes:

“Hi, honey. I’m home.” —Buffy

“Do you love my insides? The parts you can’t see?” “Eyeballs to entrails, my sweet.” —Drusilla and Spike

“Gosh, I'd love to sign up, but I recently developed carpal tunnel syndrome, and can tragically no longer hold a flashlight.” —Buffy

“Miss Calendar said you were a babe!” “She said what?” “Well, she said that you were a... h-hunk of burning...something or other.”—Buffy and Giles

“I’m gonna do what any man would do about it. Somethin’ damn manly.” —Xander

How “Halloween” Slays:

The premise is SO FUN! You’ve already seen me gush about the body-swap episode, when we watch actors play the characters they’re not, and having characters turn into the Halloween costumes they’re wearing feels very much in the same vein. I always get excited to rewatch this one, and I love how often it’s referenced after this, like for some reason this one was notable enough to bring up more than once, and add a layer to Xander’s character with all his future soldier knowledge, too.

Buffy’s pumpkin patch fight in the beginning. Anytime we get to see Buffy really getting into a fight with vampires is a treat, because she’s so good and fast and fun, and this is her in her element! We don’t just hear how good a Slayer she is, we get to see it! The bonus of this one, however, is that there’s a vamp in the corner filming her on a video camera. Which could only be a Spike request; how many vampires want their enemy caught on tape? How many vampires would even care about watching a fight back? But the battery is low on this camera, and the vamp is struggling to keep it running long enough to film her. Just how often has Spike sent him out to do this??

Spike is very appreciative of the tapes though, watching them over and over, pointing out all her clever moves, saying she’s tricky and resourceful and clearly likes to play. Buffy will show up at the Bronze for a date with Angel and then leave because she finds straw in her hair from the fight. But Spike can’t get enough of that straw in her hair, because he can see what she did to get it and keeps rewinding to watch it again. Drusilla comes up to talk to him, and he holds out his hand for her… but stares at the tape until she mentions the Slayer, at which point he looks at her with rapt attention.

Xander and Buffy’s dynamic is really great in this one. Larry says something gross about Buffy, and Xander shuts him down, even though Larry gears up for a punch to his face for it. Buffy comes in to save Xander, as she does with all the bullies, haha, and Xander is upset that she made him look like a wimp by getting out of a beating. She apologizes later on, saying she’ll let him get pummeled next time, leaning her chin on his shoulder and all but batting her eyelashes to get him to forgive her. Which he does, with an eye roll and a smile, thanking her for her gesture. When he and Buffy are bespelled, they’re both confused and looking to Willow for answers. Buffy clings to Xander for being all macho and manly, and he does his best to defend her, even though neither of them show any sexual or physical attraction to the other.

Principal Snyder doesn’t understand the “volunteer” concept, and ropes Buffy and friends into taking kids Trick-or-Treating. He tells Buffy he expects a delinquent like her to be egging houses and bobbing for apples, which is why he makes her sign up, and just… the way he stereotypes her is so funny to me, because it couldn’t be further from the truth of who her character is. He just paints a picture in his mind of what he wants and assumes her to be so he can accuse her for it. He’s the worst, but always a hoot.

Ethan Rayne!!! Makes his debut!! For only having four episodes, this is such an ICONIC Buffy character, and I love him DEARLY, and his voice and face and smirky smirk and every line he has is so greasy and perfect. I love that he’s introduced as a kind proprietor who lets Buffy be a princess and gives her the dress she wants at a good price, only to be revealed as someone from Giles’ apparently dark past, who taunts him and goads him and doesn’t buy the good little Watcher act.

Giles has an apparently dark past. Which is just… so delicious to find out at this stage of the show. It wasn’t developed nearly as much as I would have liked, but this episode has so much promise of who Giles really is. With the nickname Ripper. With the friend he’s apparently okay kicking and torturing and wiping blood off his fingers for until he’s told how to stop the spell. Who claims that being a good and kindly Watcher isn’t an act, but he speaks to Ethan in such a cold, dangerous way we’ve never seen from him before. Who reads Ethan’s “soon” note at the very end of the episode and looks straight into the camera before it goes to black.

Buffy distracting Giles so Willow can steal the Watcher’s diaries. She asks why vampires stay in on Halloween, which confuses him because he knows she’d be bored by the answer. She claims Miss Calendar called him a “babe” which floors him, but which he’s secretly delighted by, even though Willow is shaking her head in disapproval. She sees that Willow has the book and suddenly babbles that this is none of her business, and shame on her for even bringing it up, and practically runs out of there, leaving Giles completely bewildered, but no more than he usually is around her!

When shopping for Halloween costumes, Buffy picks up a decorative pumpkin, and flips a switch on it. It makes a loud shrieking sound, and she jumps and hastily turns it off, puts it down, and moves on, and I have NEVER related to anyone more.

Cordelia’s rant to Oz. I love that she knows him, first of all, because she knows Devon. I love that she knows Willow and could totally introduce them if she had any clue Oz was looking for her. I love that she rants to Oz about Devon not calling her, and to tell him she’s furious about it, but not to tell him anything because she doesn’t even care, before spinning on her heel and walking away. And Oz endures it, because he knows her.

Cordelia has chemistry with both Xander and Angel in this episode, which is important for both her relationships with them! Cordelia is there to meet Angel on a date in Buffy’s absence, and she talks so smoothly to him that he doesn’t send her away, but then discusses her life and makes him laugh, something we haven’t seen him do on this show yet. Something Buffy walks in and sees, realizing he’s never laughed like that with her. At this point in my first run of the show I thought no way would Cangel ever be a thing, and Xander even tells Cordy in this ep that she’ll never get between Buffy and Angel… but it was all right here, the groundwork was being laid, and it’s so sad that those two couldn’t just run off into the night together right then and not ever have to worry about L.A. or visions or evil law firms or helping the helpless. When Cordelia complains about her costume being ripped, bespelled Xander offers his jacket without question, something that stops Cordelia in her tirade, and she says “thanks” with genuine “that was so hot” energy. She digs macho soldier Xander!

“Who died and made her the boss?” Cordelia asks of Willow when Willow has to take charge in the wake of the spell. Willow walks through a wall in answer, because… she did. She died. Her costume killed her so she could be a ghost, and now she’s dead and the boss, lol.

In an episode where it’s revealed that Giles used to be called “Ripper” and has no problem torturing an old friend for info, it’s particularly great that when Willow walks through a wall in front of him, he jumps and tosses his entire card index into the air, and then is flustered by her skin-tight, revealing costume. He’s just so precious sometimes.

Spike calls Buffy “lost little lamb” when he sees her bespelled self. He will call her “little lost girl” again in S6, but will not call her, or anyone, “lamb” again until he’s dying in front of her. And I just get such a thrill that he calls her that here, too.

Speaking of things that Spuffy will say to each other in the finale, when the spell in this ep shatters, Buffy jumps up and grins at Spike, and says “hi honey, I’m home.” In End of Days, the penultimate episode, Spike will tell her “Honey, you’re home,” and… and… you know I’m gonna be excited by Buffy calling Spike honey here, even if it’s derogatory, lol. They just have a dynamic like no one else in this show. She pummels him until he runs, because he knows he’ll lose if he stays, and he has every intention of living to fight (her) another day.

Spike speaks Drusilla’s language, following most if not all of her words, replying in the way she needs to hear, knowing how to coax her into telling him what he wants to know. It’s something I’m sure I’ll bring up again, but I’m always thrilled in rewatches to see just how easily he can converse with her when everyone else looks at her like she’s nuts, since, you know. She is.

At the end of the episode, after the spell, after the Spike fight, after Buffy is back in 20th-century clothing and Angel is lounging on her bed, he asks if she’s okay. “I’ll live,” she says drily, and moves on. Because she’s not. She’s not okay. She was the victim of a spell that hijacked her mind and put her in harm’s way, really her first mystical violation so far besides becoming a vamp in Nightmares, but not the first mystical assault on her life. No, she’s not okay. No, she will not ever answer this question on this show with a “yes.” No, she will not take kindly to people asking that of her after she comes back to life in S6, evading the question every time it’s asked.  My poor baby girl. 

Big Sister Buffy:

Buffy is, canonically, really really good with kids. Not in a self-proclaimed way, either, because she doesn’t gush and squee over children the way some teenage girls do, and when she’s told about the program to take kids Trick-or-Treating, she says she’ll just stick to vampires.

But Snyder drafts her into it anyway, and oh my goodness she has like one itty little scene with them but she’s so amazing with them. Snyder tells her not to speak to the kids, but she tells them hi the second he turns away. After the kids visit houses, she asks what they got, and when they show her toothbrushes after one house, Buffy claims “she must be stopped,” and then takes their hands, and offers one more house before they go home, to make up for the lack of candy at this last one. 

So many little ways of her connecting with them and looking out for them and making sure their Halloween is awesome even though their parents aren’t the ones taking them. She’s such a good big sister and she knows how to relate to kids in a way that isn’t cringey or condescending, even though she doesn’t go out of her way to hang out with them, and I just… love her so much for this hidden aspect of her character.

The Parts You Can’t See:

Drusilla: Do you love my insides? The parts you can’t see? Spike: Eyeballs to entrails, my sweet. That's why I've got to study this Slayer. Once I know her I can kill her. And once I kill her you can have your run of Sunnyhell. Drusilla: Don’t worry. Everything’s switching. Outside to inside.

I think this line from Dru is interesting, as is the Janus statue Ethan uses to cause all the chaos in this episode. Because on the surface, and even in most of the dialogue describing this spell in all future episodes, it’s just implied that they all wore magic costumes that turned them into whatever they were wearing.

But it’s not just that Xander became a soldier and Buffy a helpless maiden. Their costumes didn’t give them the personalities of the people they became. Their costumes revealed a part of them that was already inside, the parts we can’t see, outside to inside. 

Buffy has very much been portrayed as an innocent young woman, someone who likes being taken care of, who feels a little bit helpless at times and wants to be rescued. Of course, we know she’s the Slayer, and can see she’s a damn good one, and a lot of the time she can do her own rescuing just fine while others look to her to be saved. But deep in her core is a terrified girl who is longing to be rescued herself. A lost little lamb.

Xander is often scared, often weak, often helpless and clumsy and gullible. But deep inside him is someone strong and sure of himself, someone who follows orders well and doesn’t hesitate to follow a woman if she’s calling the shots, someone who thinks of others and puts his life on the line for them and is bewildered by what’s going on, but gracefully rolls with the punches. Sauve Xander in The Replacement episode will show again that that guy is inside him, along with the clumsy helplessness. It’s part of him, too.

Willow has a multi-faceted costume, lol, because she wears a ghost sheet over a tight-fitting and midriff-revealing outfit that she claims “just isn’t me.” When her costume turns her into a ghost, all we can see is that outfit she’s wearing underneath. She is a ghost because she feels unseen and unnoticed, by peers, by the popular girls, by Xander, sometimes by Buffy, even, living in her shadow as she sort of is. She walks in front of Oz’s van, and he stares at her and wonders who she is, his mystery girl.

But she is also that sexy and confident woman underneath, striding around taking charge, making and executing plans when the Slayer is on sabbatical, unafraid of what people think of her. She is hiding inside our Willow, waiting for the chance to prove herself. 

Cordelia is the only one in the gang without a costume from Ethan’s, and so retains her own Cordelia-ness. Because what you see is what you get; not to say she won’t have an arc of her own later on and will blossom into someone truly amazing and completely different to what she is now. But I think it’s very telling that Cordelia in this episode is blatantly and unapologetically Cordelia, and the fact that her costume doesn't change her shows this. Even Giles, who doesn't have a costume in the strictest sense, makes his Ripper debut. Ethan calls the Watcher thing an act, which Giles denies. But we see that Ripper is very much a part of him and can be summoned and put on when needed.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And that’s a wrap on Episode 18! Thank you so much for reading this far!

Previous: “Reptile Boy.”

Next up: “Lie to Me.” 

(Credit for GIFs in this post: @detectivedawnsummers)

[ryukiethebored]

I haven’t been this far gone over a show for such a long time. I’d say Death Note was the last, despite there being some extremely invested kicks along the way (my revisitings of Stranger Things, Lost, and Orange is the New Black had me for some time). I feel like the difference was cutting watchers off abruptly - since all those shows had completed seasons and season 2’s Squid Game ended on a cliffhanger of a sort, when I assumed the entire game and story would’ve gotten some sort of end. That and the way it focuses on such small, intricate details leaves plot theorizing and character analyzing such a fun activity to do in the meantime. That may be something to say about enjoying a show or any piece of media in a gradually-spaced or dare I say weekly episodic manner so that it’s kept with you longer, as much as I’ll still binge something if it all exists all at once anyway. It’s been a lot of fun thinking about what could happen, but also insanely surprising how rapidly and hyper-fixated I’ve gotten. It’s practically all I think or talk of right now (my partner is extremely supportive and patient for it, lol), I’m now rewatching episodes from both seasons over and over, and I feel I’m in inspired, creative spaces again. Which doesn’t happen to me often anymore, and - while this sounds dramatic for what it is - has worn deeply on my soul.

I will admit the dynamics of Gi-hun and In-ho has been the most fascinating by far, and what’s specifically gripped the very atoms of me. I can’t decide if I want to go fully down the shipping road or not (I have a few theories for the future of the show that if becomes canon, could put a problematic but not impossible [depending on your limits hahah] hitch in 457 as a romance), but knowing me and if the chemistry’s in front of my eyes, I’ll go there regardless. Even what starts as a joke or curiosity always leads to stone-serious delirium dedication ahaha…

For those of you who have followed me for Death Note, let me say these character dynamics are v much in the same vein. There’s In-ho, who to me could pass as a love child of both L and Light in certain ways - and more like Light in the end (we’ve got an enemy secretly in plain sight and intimately interacting with the vital character who’s trying to take him down situation, much like Death Note). Unfortunately, the only real interaction they have is in season 2, but it does make rewatching season 1 with another perspective entertaining once you’ve gone down this hole. I think this noticed similarity (clearly I’ve got character types) got me hooked on them a little faster than what’d be usual. Gi-hun, on the other hand, isn’t so much an L to In-ho’s Light, but has a personality more fitting of Matsuda with his trust in others, naivety, and messy optimism - which while I love the psychological warfare of morally bankrupt genuises - is refreshing in its own way. In season 2, Gi-hun mirrors what I imagine a version of Matsuda after his spirit’s been broken (by Light’s betrayal). Not wholly broken, though; his spirit, albeit traumatized, is still there. Also like Death Note, the overarching idea of Squid Game is “we’re trying to eliminate the filth of society and restore the world.” Similarities aside, the show is set apart and its people hold up as entirely unique characters. Both Gi-hun and In-ho would have clear differences from Matsuda and Light. In-ho is a grown-ass man from the very start of the story, for one, and has what I’d consider more genuine, tragic motivations beneath his behavior and choices beyond outright boredom and the black-and-white morality common of the naive youth (not that that stops me from enjoying Light as intensely, lol).

What I’m really trying to say in a plethora of words is that I love them, your honor, and my mind is in a pit of Squid Game and my mind has a million theories and ideas inside of it that I’m not entirely sure how to manifest. My roleplaying days have felt more or less over, but my fanfiction days may not be. Another telling sign I’ve lost it over something is the fact I’ve been spill-writing thoughts out like this, when under normal circumstances I struggle immensely and rarely ever do. I don’t believe I did it often even for Death Note, but then I did roleplay as an outlet, and contributed the occasional piece of content. I’d like to try to do the same with Squid Game. Meanwhile, I’m on-my-knees grateful for all the wonderful souls who’ve already given the fandom what they have.

[v-i-r-i-d-i-a-n]

The main question: What was after Will Byers?

(And a second more important question: what did it want?)

The show obviously wants us to believe that it’s a demogorgon, on first watch anyways. I believe we can infer there was a demogorgon in the shed with him- at least in the upside down. Even considering everything I’m going to talk about- I still agree with that, strangely. But before that? I’m calling bullshit.

(For reference this is technically the second thing I wrote about for the first episode, BUT I’m releasing this BEFORE that because it’s a more well thought out analysis, and can exist more as a standalone, I will probably add to this in the future. This is also technically unfinished? I don’t have a definitive answer to the questions I ask. I’m simply trying to bring more attention to it.)

🚨SOMETHING TO NOTE‼️ I HAVE NOT WATCHED A SEASON OF ST IN LIKE 6 MONTHS, PROBABLY MORE, IF ANY QUESTIONS I ASK GET ANSWERED IN LIKE AN EPISODE, DON’T BE A DICK ABOUT IT, I DONT REMEMBER EVERYTHING🚨

Also just one more thing before we get started, I’m sorry this post has a lot of exposition- I know that some of the things I say have probably been said before, hell the analysts in this community have talked about and seen this show far more then I have and I have nothing but respect for anyone whose put in that much effort- and I truly do not mean to copy or steal anyone’s work- if you feel like I’m not giving credit where credits due, or like I’m stealing something PLEASE tell me- i’ll @ you or cut something out- I don’t want anyone to feel disrespected by what I talk about, but I also don’t remember every post I’ve ever read or that’s on this app, this is merely supposed to my own fun twist and thoughts about the events

NOW, I know, I know, fifty billion other people have talked about how weird Will’s vanishing is, how it doesn’t make any sense and there’s something else going on, BUT, if I’ve learnt anything from this fandom, it’s that we love to read and write the exact same things over and over again. And!! That’s how discovery is made, so I’m doing it anyways >:3

Its hard to decipher where exactly to start with Will’s vanishing, because the entirety of it is completely jumbled and twisted and doesn’t make sense, whenever I think just a little too hard about it I feel like I’m being so completely mindfucked, like even now I’m sorting out things and every other sentence I realize something else and have to figure out where to put it- ANYWAYS

So I’m just gonna start at the beginning! In the Wheelers house.

Now, the first bit of strangeness we get in this sequence is when they’re all going home (I could also argue the DnD game has some weirdness, but that’s for another time, as we’re focusing something else right now) more specifically, when Mike waves Will off and his garage light starts flickering.

I think that’s supposed to be because of the like “town wide electrical problems” that are happening because of the gate opening up, and most likely not because of something already being at the Wheeler’s house.

i’m gonna argue there’s something there later in a different analysis I’m complying, because, I don’t believe that the thing following Will is the same being that killed the scientist in the lab, hell, I don’t think it was a demogorgon AT ALL, honestly I’m a little skeptical that the thing that killed that scientist was even a demo BUT that’s for my first analysis to cover >:))

I want you to think about this for later however, because I am desperately trying to stay on track, but I just have way too many thoughts about this little stupid show.

The sequence of Will Byers Vanishing

(And all the fuckery is includes)

For this segment, I’m going to take you through Will’s vanishing, and all the little discrepancies and “plot holes” that I’ve seen on my rewatch

The vanishing starts with the light on Will’s bike going out, he looks down, momentarily taking his eyes off the road, and looks back up to the “demogorgon” standing suddenly in front of him. We don’t see any obvious gate, or anything of the sort really, it just sort’ve appears (unless we think that for some reason it’s been stalking through the real world…which doesn’t make much sense considering how demo’s hunt.) And the thing that tickles my brain the most about this scene is that…the demo just sort’ve seems to be standing there? We only get a few seconds of it on screen, but the way it moves makes me feel like that it doesn’t even really know what it’s supposed to be doing. Like, it got zapped down from some alien spaceship or something.

Will, in response to seeing a horrific nether monster, veers off the side of the road, like any child would, and gets up slowly, which again, its sort’ve strange he’s able to get away with that? Most of the time, when a demo gets its eyes on a target, it’s pretty quick to act, not quite the “lie in wait” type of hunters when they’re in the regular plain. He gets up and just sort’ve stares for a second, and we don’t really get to see what he see’s, instead, we just a hear growl, which sends Will running in a panic.

The next few things are fairly normal in the sequence, he gets home, locks the door, pets his dog a little (me too bro), and runs around looking for his brother and mom.

He runs quickly back to the window, after he can’t find them, and as he’s looking through the clothesline…wait-

*wipes glasses*

Nope, I’m seeing this shit right WHY ARE THE CLOTHES THERE?? THATS NOT WHERE THEYRE SUPPOSED TO BE. Why is it so close to the window??? With how the lines are set up we should’ve seen them when he’s running into the house- but we don’t. They’re actually at a completely different location in the next scene at the Byers house in the morning.

(Put a pin in that)

Anyways, in the distance through the classic horror fog we see the demogorgon slowly walking up towards the house, on its back legs again. Looking like a person stalking through the night. Like some weird Jason knockoff, I half expected it to try and get through the door with a hatchet on my very first watch through.

WHICH AGAIN, isn’t how they act. Even back in the lab, in the very first scene it suggests that whatever is after the scientist is fast, he’s running, he’s hitting the button over and over again to try and get the elevator to come faster, he’s outwardly panicked and looks desperate to get away. He’s looking over his shoulder to make sure it’s not there yet. And then after that whenever we see a demo chasing someone, they’re quick to chase after their prey. They don’t slowly walk up towards a house.

It reminds me WAY more of how a human hunts their prey, slowly following and tracking it until it wears itself out. However, I’d argue it’s less like whatever is chasing him is actively hunting him, and more so like it’s corralling him, herding him. Attempting to manipulate him to go where it wants him to. If it wanted to kill him, it could’ve done so already (especially if we take into account the whole telekinesis thing). It had plenty of chances, especially when Will was in that ditch after he fell off his bike, that’s when a human hunter would’ve attempted to kill him. It’s as if, whatever was on that road, whatever is following Will, actively wants him to go to the Byer’s shed. To the demogorgon lying in wait ready to pounce.? That doesn’t sound quite right either.

All of these analysis are gonna be me going “that’s not quite right, that shouldn’t do that” over and over again LMAO

When you take everything into account, I think there’s a quite a bit more evidence that this thing didn’t want to hurt Will at all, at least not physically, at least not in this exact instance. Whether it was corralling him in hopes of figuring something out, or actively wanting the demogorgon to feed on Will. I have no idea. But you cannot decisively say that whatever was following Will had the active intent to kill him with its own hands.

Will gets scared once more and attempts to call someone, it doesn’t work and instead he just gets the static-y growling sounds of the upside down. Which is a tad bit strange considering that the reason Joyce hears that later on is because Will’s actively trying to communicate with her. But what number is that? Like 55 of “things that don’t make sense in Will Byers vanishing?” Oh, and then immediately after we get the whole DEMOGORGON USES TELEKINESIS SCENE. 56.

(Put a pin in this as well)

Will runs into the shed, and we know (WE DONT.) what happens from there, there’s a demo in there with him(?) and he’s somehow he’s pulled into the upside down- without any real evidence of a gate there. Unless you take…the slime in the shed the next morning that Hopper finds as proof. But I’ve learnt not to hold a suspension of disbelief here. (“Did Mike see it? Then it doesn’t count” worst vibes y’know? Gotta see it to believe it.)

There’s also the whole thing with instead of the light flickering it just gets really bright. Which is another thing I don’t believe we see often- especially if we assume the light glowing bright is because of a gate opening.

I’d actually like to talk about that point for a sec, because it genuinely doesn’t seem or feel or look like anything we see after that. The way that nothing really happens, and that’s what’s so terrifying about it, we don’t hear any screams or even see the signs of a struggle. He’s not dragged through a portal by vines or a demo.

Will just vanishes, he’s not taken, or kidnapped, he vanishes. It’s truly the only word that can describe it. And it truly doesn’t make any sense. We don’t see anything like it again really, at least not that I’m aware of or can remember right now. He’s there one second, and then he’s gone. The only thing I can really think of like it is El killing the demo at the end of the season and vanishing.

All and all we get back to the same point I started with and a point I think pretty everyone agrees with. Whatever was after Will was not a demo.

But then…why does it look like one? And sound like one? Well my curious little reader, I THINK I ACTUALLY HAVE A LOGICAL SOLUTIONNN

We’re being fucked with.

(And as much as it might sound like it, I’m very much NOT joking here.)

Remember everything I told you to put a pin into? Yeah this is the section where I want you to think about it more.

By now, I’ve described the entirety of the sequence of Will’s vanishing. I don’t want to say disappearance or kidnapping because I don’t believe that’s what it was. The oddness of the demogorgon, the strangeness of his surroundings. And I’ve come to only one seeable conclusion, which probably isn’t good on a scientific aspect, but it’s the only logical solution I can come up with.

Will is being fucked with, and since we’re in his eyes for this scene, we’re being fucked with.

Will has always been my favorite little unreliable narrator.

Now, what exactly could be happening? I don’t know yet, I’m still at the beginning of the series after all in this rewatch- these are all just thoughts I’ve been having after the first episode. I can’t present a de facto answer to whatever’s going on here because I don’t think we’re supposed to know yet.

My main guess? Some sort of upside down shit. With everything we know about timeline fuckery, and illusions, and visions, and memory sequences even being untrustworthy- isn’t it possible we’re being shown something that didn’t happen? Or maybe more accurately didn’t happen the way we’re being shown?

It might be a problem with the actual timeline, like somehow false memories were implanted and the universe itself is being tricked. Or, some sort of upside down related nightmare sequence only Will see’s- maybe Will got planted into another timeline directly who knows. MAYBE- it’s even Brenner’s fault (especially with all the TFS Brenner vs Will Byers stuff) Because I will find a way to blame that man for everything.

With all of the characters saying constantly that things are a nightmare, or that it isn’t real, we can’t trust what we’re seeing on screen.

The Duffers, don’t want their audience to know what’s happening. They’ll tell us when they want to.

So, if it wasn’t a demo after Will what was it?

A person, probably

Though in this show, it’s hard to tell exactly what that means.

God. Where do I start? There’s just so so many possibilities for this one instance that I can’t fully wrap my head around it. Now I’m going to say this again, I don’t have a definite answer to what’s going on, and my opinion will probably change as time goes on and I reread other analysis posts and rewatch the show- I’m small potatoes in the analysis community and I think this is actually the first analysis I’m posting(?) wow that’s crazy actually. So my thoughts are gonna be especially jumbled for this part because at this very moment it’s a pretty big question mark.

I will say this though, I don’t think it’s Vecna. At least not the Vecna we’re shown on screen.

Why do I say this? Mostly because it doesn’t really feel like Vecna gives too much of a shit about Will- if anything, the MF seems much more interested in him.

And I know that’s like the main theory in part of the fandom, that for whatever reason Vecna is super into Will but I just don’t agree with it. There is some substance to it but I think a lot of you forget that Vecna and the MF are two separate beings (Hell Vecna and HENRY are two separate beings). Vecna is not controlling the MF, even if he believes he is. That’s pretty much proven in the VR game, if you’re willing to look deeper at it than what it’s putting forward.

Remember, we cannot trust what we see. We’re actively being fucked with at any point in time. The Duffer’s do not care about tricking their audience, they want to. So it’s almost never going to be the obvious answer.

I guess this section just turned into me saying “I don’t know exactly whats happening but it’s NOT Vecward”

I wanna say Brenner, trying to find out something about the upside down or Will himself, but the whole telekinesis thing is really throwing me off. Hell maybe it is Henry trying to disrupt the timeloop by stopping a TFS William Brenner from forming.

Everything I try and think about and put forward just doesn’t really feel quite right, I don’t have enough evidence or backing for any of my theories right now to definitively say one thing or the other- so if anyone has any idea’s they’d like to bounce off of me I’d appreciate it, because I’m kinda at a loss at this exact moment.

None of it was real

(And what that means)

This is the only thing I’m really sure of right now. Nothing about what we see is what really happened. Maybe it’s how Will remembers it, maybe his memories were actively altered by the MF or Brenner or Owens or something.

But if nothing that we saw with Will was real, then how do we know anything we’ve seen is real. Especially through Will’s POV. Throughout the entirety of the story Will has always been an unreliable narrator, from the very beginning.

That also means that this show built itself around unreliable narration. There is a reason that the one of the first big scenes we get doesn’t make sense. There’s a reason it feels like it’s built on a shaky surface.

Id argue, that the literal first scene is unreliable, but that’s again for another time.

TL;DR Everything is fucked and nothing makes sense, and everything will continue not making sense until the Duffers decide to let it make sense, oh and Will was definitely not being followed by a demo no matter how much the show wants you to believe it

If you made it this far, thank you so much for listening to my relentless rambling! Sorry the format is kinda fucked again this is my first analysis I’m actually posting. Again I’ll probably add onto this in future- but for now I’m pretty happy with how it turned out, hope y’all have a good day <33 !!

[zoniteillusion-pyritedreams]

📓 Digital Diary Entry #...6? Maybe? Honestly who's counting but future me definitely should.

Hey babes, it’s me again. Back on your dash with another episode of me talking into the void like it’s my job.

This might be Entry #6? Possibly? Who knows. I should really start numbering these just so I can keep track of how many late-night rambles I’ve unleashed upon the world. (Don’t worry, masterlist update is coming soon… once I stop pretending I don’t have several drafts sitting in purgatory.)

So earlier like a few hours ago, before I fell into yet another drama rabbit hole we were talking about celebrity look-alikes/vibe twins & songs that are just so me. Y’know, that age-old game of "You remind me of someone famous but like... cooler...maybe?"

And as always, my friends were like.

“You lowkey give off Esther Yu.”

“Wait, you and Esther have the same face shape tho.”

“I thought you were in this drama at first. I was like ??? she didn’t tell us she booked a role again??”

And you know what? I see it sorta.

We both got those soft, classic Chinese features just painted in two different color palettes. I'm talking full East Asian structure + Afro-Colombian glow. Think golden tan skin, green eyes, thick curls, and under-5ft-tall main character menace. Basically, I’m what happens when you mix the short genes from both sides of the diaspora and accidentally summon a pocket-sized femme fatale. Oops?

✨Anyway, fast forward to post-shower me, hair still damp, wrapped in a fluffy towel burrito, making the sacred decision to finally start something from my Netflix “I’ll watch it eventually” list (which has frankly become a shrine of neglected intentions. I swear at some point I will sit there and finish most of the on that list maybe possibly before I die.)

Question for the crowd:

Do any of you do that thing where you REFUSE to start a show until the ENTIRE season is out? Like, I’m sorry, but I’m not built for weekly updates. I’m built for binge-watching with snacks, tea, and intense emotional damage. If I can't watch three episodes in a row while pacing dramatically in my living room, I don’t want it.

I literally just finished my annual rewatch of The Untamed (yes again, don’t @ me Wang Yibo & Xiao Zhan are that powerful and have that great of chemistry that I need to rewatch the two of them over and over again until I can tattoo the drama into my brain). That show owns me. I think I’ve rewatched it at least 2–3 times a year since 2019.

Wang Yibo & Xiao Zhan... the THINGS I would do to see those two act together again. The organs I would sell. The souls I would trade.

ANYWAY.

One of my besties just finished watching Love Between Fairy and Devil and Love Game in Eastern Fantasy and reminded me of how disgustingly attractive Ding Yuxi is. Like I couldn’t focus half the time during Love Game because I was just sitting there internally screaming “this man is dangerously fine??”

I liked Love Between Fairy and Devil, don’t get me wrong, and Dylan Wang is objectively very pretty. But like... I didn’t feel it. No shade to Dylan stans, but my heart? Belongs to Ryan Ding. He’s got that undeniable pull like the quiet guy in the corner who ends up completely wrecking you emotionally halfway through the drama. Ugh. Hate that I love it.

Now, speaking of Miss Esther, I’m currently watching Ski to love (yes, I watch most if not all of Esther's dramas) and I’m two episodes in and obsessed. Like why does she always pick dramas with aesthetics I LOVE? It’s rude, really.

Also, let’s talk about Lin Yi, because this is my first time watching him in something (nope, still haven’t watched Put Your Head On My Shoulder, don’t cancel me). He’s cute?? And good?? Like I wasn’t expecting that much chemistry with Esther but damn, I’m fed. Also the fact that there’s a four-year age gap between them? Genuinely shocked me. They feel so natural together on screen.

Also Lin Yi reminds me of like two different K-pop Idols from 5th gen not even going to lie. I don't know maybe you guys see it too I'm not going to name names but do you guys see The Vibes it's The Vibes of like very specific boy group members that he just gives me and I'm like oh my God he could totally be related to them like he could be so until his cousin just based off of their lives and also his appearance.

Conclusion:

Esther dramas hit. Ding Yuxi is my weakness.

And I might be spiritually part of the cast whether I like it or not.

Okay that’s all for now, back to my blanket cave.

Catch you next entry 🖤

[anoriginalweirdo]

All Of Us Strangers (2023)

Directed by Andrew Haigh

With Andrew Scott, Paul Mescal, Jamie Bell, Claire Foy

✨ Personal ‘review’, it might contain spoilers ✨

‘I’d always felt lonely… even before. This was a new feeling. Like… a terror… that I’d always be alone now. And then, as I got older, that feeling… just solidified. Just a knot here all the time. And then losing them, it just got… tangled up with all the other stuff… about being gay… and just a feeling like… the future doesn’t matter. Does that make sense?’

‘Yeah. I know how easy it can be to stop caring about yourself.’

⭐️ 🌟 ⭐️

I’m NOT fine. Why did it have to combine most of my traumas like that with my obsession for ghosts and old places?

Goddamnit I kinda want to throw up, that felt way too close and too brutal at the same time. So funny how it has a parallel with the idea of the novel I’ve started to write - which has been on my mind for the past 3 years. Ghosts and imagined conversations and loneliness and sadness and trying to make sense about the future when everything takes you back to the past.

How insane is it to see a younger version of me in the eyes of Harry and not completely lose my fucking mind? I’ve only been able to let go of her and of the worst ‘what ifs?’ a couple of months ago so watching his character going through all of this throws me back two years ago.

I feel like Adam, surrounded by ghosts and loneliness and having to keep going. Luckily I feel way way better now, but I can’t help the sudden good old loneliness to find its way back and make its home again inside my tight chest.

What I would give to talk to my mother, ask her if she’s proud of who I’m trying to be and if she loves me still.

As the crazy person that I am I rewatched twice two scenes that made suffocating cause of tears.

Anyways, Andrew, Paul, thanks for the tears AGAIN. Thanks Ireland, always haha.

Also Death of a Party by Blur playing made my brain go wild.

I kinda want to rewatch it again, because it’s that kind of film that you need to rewatch to understand the story all over again with the new details. Everything is brilliant and I want to cry.

I’m gonna shut up now, I’m listening to Fontaines D.C. while writing all this, trying not to overthink about the past, and I want to cry but I should just go fucking sleep. I’ll probably see ghosts again during the night.

I want to cry again, if you didn’t get it.

I’ll be ok.

[crguang]

I like paying Genshin…🫣 but I suppose you and I can’t have all the same opinions. Speaking of which, I don’t understand why people like Natasha…I’m sorry in advance. I can understand liking most of the others, like I get the appeal but idk….can u explain? now that I’ve told you all my bad opinions…I still haven’t gotten all the messages from Kafka, very upset, I got yanqing from standard the same day AND HE KEEPS MESSAGING ME, I need him to stfu. I was rewatching kafkas story quest and umm, I haven’t looked at that photo in a bit….ngl I kinda want to rip open that slit in her shirt and—yk I need to sleep, ik when I start being less shy I need more sleep I haven’t sleep for like two days. also my friend just said that I probably don’t like nat bc she’s a doctor…my mommy issues strike again.

-🌠

i loved genshin i played it for over 3 years but by sumeru their characters stopped appealing to me, arlecchino saved me from boredom in fontaine and that archon quest was also really good but character wise she’s the only one i care about. with natlan and those white ass characters i just cant like logging in and seeing white people with latin indigenous/african inspired clothing, names and history pisses me off to no end, they lost me forever with that one bc yelan reran and i still didn’t log in consistently to get her cons… shes c3 forever now. i get mad seeing any natlan character atp like im so over this stupid game

not liking natasha is insane… if you like himeko theres no reason to not be as crazy about nat because they’re so similar personality wise and we actually know more about nat than we do about hsr himeko rn😭 i don’t see why you don’t see the appeal honestly, she’s a sweetheart who’s upheld an entire city basically on her own. not to diminish wildfire members but she literally created that too. only doctor in an impoverished and disorganized city, runs an orphanage, leader of the sole organization meant to keep the peace… she’s willingly taking on all of that responsibility because she can and wants to help. shes not even from the underworld, she was adopted by a couple in the overworld and did her studies there. not to mention that before she was a doctor in the underworld she went on expeditions to heal those fighting against/researching the fragmentum…she’s literally the most “morally good” aligned person ever. disliking her is kinda unimaginable to me bc all shes done is save people’s lives and be pretty. kafka’s nothing compared to my natty. i get it if she’s just not your kind of character but disliking her is insane to me when himeko is the same kind of kind-hearted, diplomatic, intelligent, courageous, ruthless-when-need-be person😭 natasha stepped up and saw people dying all around her for over a decade, she gave kids like Seele a future and a purpose in life and has spent every day fighting for them, she’s even condemned her own brother because the methods he was using for his research/goals were hurting others. hasnt talked to her parents in years and didnt know her dad had died because of it so she wasn’t allowed a moment to grieve like im sorry shes a hero of the people, no one has worked harder than she has— i’ll die defending natasha she’s incredibly admirable and inspiring to me. she thanks her patients for surviving gruesome surgeries, imagine the amount of people she’s lost because of the underworld’s lack of supplies yet she CARRIES ON! the strongest person ever. and she’s so gorgeous like that’s my baby fr. plus her voice is really nice. she’s the whole package, i take her so seriously if theres only one natasha fan in the galaxy its me!!! thee only healer for months before lynx came out, let’s all remember our roots (i wasn’t there but wtv) for a second. everyone’s used natty she’s an OG!

i thought kafka had only 2 messages and was getting moze/jiaoqiu’s for days then saw that anonymous “hi, nyx” and lost my mind at 6am on tuesday. hope u get them soon theyre so pathetic… she cares so bad. like soooo bad i cant believe she exposes herself like this do we think it’s because texting is easier or bc she’s intrinsically linked to the tb or both?… because those texts (+ the fact that it’s her reaching out) are just insane.

i love how yall never go all the way with thirsting when i literally write smut like i promise you can say you wanna fuck her 😭😭 everyone’s gonna agree. the things i’d do to her would have me in the hospital for dislocated joints like it’s okay theres no shame in being horny

and you definitely need to go to bed!!!!!!!! now!!!! try taking some melatonin/tea if you can or getting off your phone an hour before going to sleep, it might help a little. but you should be sleeping it’s dangerous to go too long without it, how are you even functioning right now

[meret118]

Andor 1.10-12 rewatch after seeing the series finale and Rogue One again

Cassian to Kino: "l'd rather die trying to take them down than die giving them what they want." Kino breaks out for his men, risks it all for them knowing the whole time he can't swim. He'd rather die for them than for the empire.

Andy Serkis is such a great actor. He should have at least gotten an Emmy nomination for the One Way Out episode.

(The immigrants in that prison in El Salvador are in the same situation. Never getting out and used for slave labor.)

Would Cassian have helped him get to shore if he hadn't been knocked in the water? I like to think he would have.

I love Luthen's cloak blowing in the wind like Vader when Lonni gets out of the elevator. I need to get a cloak or cape this fall so I can sweep dramatically through the grocery store. :)

Lonni: "I can't do this anymore. I'm a father now. I had no idea how it would feel." Was Bix right and Cassian would never fight once he became a father, or would he have been more determined to get rid of the empire so his child could live in freedom? I still think it was his choice to keep fighting or not, and she should have let him know about the baby.

Lonni: "What do you sacrifice?"

Luthen: "Calm. Kindness. Kinship. Love. I’ve given up all chance at inner peace. I’ve made my mind a sunless space. I share my dreams with ghosts. I wake up every day to an equation I wrote 15 years ago from which there’s only one conclusion, I’m damned for what I do. My anger, my ego, my unwillingness to yield, my eagerness to fight, they’ve set me on a path from which there is no escape. I yearned to be a savior against injustice without contemplating the cost and by the time I looked down there was no longer any ground beneath my feet. What is my sacrifice? I’m condemned to use the tools of my enemy to defeat them. I burn my decency for someone else’s future. I burn my life to make a sunrise that I know I’ll never see. And the ego that started this fight will never have a mirror or an audience or the light of gratitude. So what do I sacrifice? Everything! You’ll stay with me, Lonni. I need all the heroes I can get."

Wow, this hits even harder knowing what happened 15 years ago! He wanted to be a savior for Kleya, and that one decision changed everything. He can't escape this path because Kleya won't let him? Or because she won't leave the path, and he won't abandon her to walk it alone? Is it Kleya's future he's talking about in particular? This speech alone was worth an acting and writing Emmy nomination. Also, you'll stay with me, Lonni, until you outlive your usefulness and I kill you.

Brasso was so kind to Bee after Maarva died. Poor Brasso. I really liked him. He was sexy as hell too. :)

Vel: "I gave him Aldhani. What have you done lately?"

Grrrrl! You are messing with the wrong person!

Kleya: "I don't have lately. I have always. I have a constant blur of plates spinning and knives on the floor and needy panicked faces at the window, of which you are but one of many."

Cassian watching the quarren sleeping in the bed while he gets his money from the hiding place, reminded me of Jyn watching the quarren sleep in her jail cell.

Saw asks if Luthen has a spy in with his group when Luthen goes to tell him about Kreegyr. Later Luthen sends Wilmon to help Saw, but also spy on him.

Melshi asks Cassian how many he thinks made it out of the prison alive, right after Cassian finds out Maarva has died.

Cassian looks at him, and finally says, "Not enough." The subtext is about Maarva, because she didn't make it out alive. She won't be there waiting for him ever again.

He gives Melshi Syril's Pre-Mor gun.

In the montage of Nemik's manifesto before Masrva's funeral, we hear the line, "one single thing will break the siege," and then see Cassian's face in full. He and Jyn getting the plans out past the shield is going to be that thing.

Cassian says goodbye to his father's brick because he's not coming back to Ferrix. If he believes in any kind of afterlife, he may be thinking at least his parents are together now. I wonder what happened to Maarva's brick?

Cassian: "I told her I was coming back."

Brasso: "Stop."

Cassian: "I never should have left that morning."

Brasso: "Stop. She told me you'd say all this."

It looked like Cassian told his sister he was coming back, and she died and he never saw her again, and now the same thing happened with Maarva. She knew that would be triggering for him, and left a wonderful message for him through Brasso.

Maarva would have loved Brasso hitting that guy with her stone. It would creep me out in RL, but in the story I love the tradition of the funerary stone. They literally build on the work others have done before them. I wonder what happened to Maarva's brick? Bix trying to listen to the funeral from her cell is heartbreaking. She loved Maarva too.

Bix says to Cassian as the ship leaves: "He'll find us. Cassian will find us." She expected him to find her on Mina-Rau later too.

Andor 1.1-6: https://meret118.tumblr.com/post/783915237406654464/andor-rewatch-after-seeing-the-finale

Andor 1.7-9: https://www.tumblr.com/meret118/784003748005593088/andor-16-12-rewatch-after-seeing-the-series?source=share

[adhd-merlin]

Merlin S1 rewatch: episode 5

here we go! again!!

today we are watching the Lancelot episode. just a few random comments because. I am so very sleepy and I deleted the first draft by accident.

A nice little episode all in all. Nice set up for an incredibly sexy recurring character. Some nice foreshadowing. What's not to like?

• I like how this episode opens. Merlin picking mushrooms, looking so baby. Eyes full of awe and wonder. Looking like... like he's never seen a mushroom in his life, in fact. Anyway, something very cottagecore about this. Fairy vibes.

• Also he's scarfless? For much (most?) of the episode? It looks like early in the series they weren’t so obsessively attached to Merlin’s neckerchief as part of his character design

• I love how Merlin doesn’t even try to use magic against the Griffin. He just falls on his back, shuts his eyes and goes, “Welp, guess I'll die”

• HOW DID MERLIN CARRY LANCELOT BACK TO CAMELOT

• “Ever since I was a child I've dreamed of coming here. It's my life's ambition to join the knights of Camelot.” -> Guy who's spent his whole life dreaming about becoming a knight of Camelot doesn’t know the first thing about the job requirements

• (No but really, the funniest thing about this episode for me is Lancelot’s utter shock at finding out only noblemen can be knights. That's, like. The first thing about the knights of Camelot, it seems like. You’d think he would have done some basic research beforehand. But that's also how I apply to jobs so I won't make fun of him too much)

• Merlin is such a hype man, “LANCELOT THEY'RE GOING TO LOVE YOU!!” This is literally what he says! He’s adorable.

• Merlin's acting like a kid who's found a stray puppy on the side of the road and is trying to convince his dad to keep him. “He’s great, you’ll love him, I promise. He won’t be any trouble I’ll walk him every day”

• MERLIN: “He's saved my life” / ARTHUR: “That's blown it for starters” -> ARTHUR IS FUNNY. I just feel the need to point out that Arthur is funny, actually. Especially when he’s being a cunt.

• MERLIN: “You're not a nobleman by any chance, are you?” / LANCE: “haha, good lord, no” -> someone didn’t read the job description 👀

• The way Gaius pointedly glares at Merlin after telling Lancelot he’s sorry he can’t be a knight… Like, he knows his son might be tempted to do something stupid about it (commit crime)

• I did not remember Lancelot’s tragic Origin Story!

When I was a boy, my village was attacked by raiders from the northern plains. They were slaughtered where they stood, my father, my mother. Everyone. I alone escaped. I vowed that day that never again would I be helpless in the face of tyranny. I made sword craft my life. Every waking hour since that day, I devoted to the art of combat, and when I was ready, I set forth for Camelot.

"Every waking hour since that day, I devoted to the art of combat" -> Yeah that sounds like a sane and healthy way of dealing with the trauma of losing both your parents and your entire village in one go, well done my boy

• Merlin looks SO proud of his little fraud scheme! BE GAY DO CRIME

• Seriously he is such an instigator! He says, “DAMN THE RULES, THE RULES ARE WRONG”! But he can see Lancelot’s obvious reluctance so he’s like, “We're not breaking the rules, we're bending them” HE’S SO SNEAKY I LOVE HIM

• This is such a basic narrative trope (if it even is a trope) but I love first meetings of characters who are going to become famously important to one another. I'm talking, like, Holmes and Dr. Watson. Or yes, Merlin and future King Arthur. There’s just something about it that I find delightful. "They don’t even know!! They have no idea. But I do!" This is about Gwen and Lancelot.

• Such a cute Meet Cute™. I love the way it plays with what we know is going to happen. Even if we don’t exactly know how it's going to happen in the series, Guinevere and Lancelot’s romance is the stuff of legends. I love their obvious and immediate mutual attraction. The slight awkwardness. The foreshadowing! “I'm not a knight yet, my lady” / “And I’m not a lady.” NO YET, BUT YOU WILL BE!! AAAAAH

• I didn’t pay much attention to it the first time I watched this episode but Lancelot speaks in such a formal, lofty way compared to everyone else. He literally sounds like he walked out of a book of chivalric romance. "I faced it myself, Sire. Some days past. I struck it full square. I wondered how it endured"; "Arthur stands in mortal peril", like WHO TALKS LIKE THIS. BE NORMAL. But it never crosses the line into being obnoxious, and I love how his character is defined through his speech as well as by his behaviour. Well done, writers.

• LANCELOT: "Are you two...you know" -> Lancelot wastes no time in checking if Gwen is on the market. GOOD FOR HIM. (I like how Merlin finds the idea of dating Gwen literally laughable. Bit harsh, that).

• “She seems lovely. Guinevere.” / “Oh, yeah. Yeah, she is. And the best seamstress in Camelot, I promise” -> MERLIN THIS MAN DOES NOT CARES ABOUT GWEN'S SKILL AS A SEAMSTRESS OPEN YOUR EYES YOU SILLY CHILD

• (But no, to be fair to him, he did notice)

• Arthur just... just BITCH-SLAPPING Lancelot out of the blue is actually hilarious. He's a comedian and he doesn't even know it.

• Merlin still acts like a bit of a teenager with Gaius in this ep. When Gaius discovers his forgery of the seal of nobility, Merlin tells him, “if you wanna punish me for it, go ahead” and then walks off! I’m sorry, this is a teenager acting out against his dad.

• Merlin does seem to be still testing boundaries with Gaius, but in a way that's an obvious request for reassurance, too – later in the episode he asks him: “Do you even care what happens to me?” (!!) And back in episode 1x02, when Gaius said, "What do I do if you get caught?", Merlin asked: "what would you do?" Insecure teen behaviour. Please Gaius just tell him you love him!! (He does tell him here, thank God).

• The broomstick fight scene. Much has been said about it already. The rituals are, indeed, intricate. Something so homoerotic about Arthur’s attempts to poke Lancelot in the chest with his stick. What I want to know is – did they know? Did they know when they were filming it that it would look like this. Like, was it deliberate

• @sapphickittykatherine it’s not much but there are some hints of Morlance in this ep. During Lancelot’s knighting scene, Morgana looks at him with obvious interest and asks “Who is this man?” And also later at his celebration (I’ll get to it).

The celebration scene! I love it! I’m gonna break it down into parts:

• “You played God, Merlin" -> I like this line. I think Gaius put his finger on an important character trait of Merlin’s here. He always means well, but he can be manipulative and controlling. Not so much here, perhaps, but it does emerge more in later eps.

• Not Arthur looking at Morgana with incestuous intent 💀💀💀

• “Tell me, do you think her...beautiful?” / “Yes, Sire. I do.” -> Another favourite trope of mine – two characters talking to each other but having two entirely different conversations. A bit like that cursed scene in the Disir, and with Arthur just as much oblivious (actually, could someone tell the poor guy what's going on. just once)

• Meanwhile, Morgana’s making sexy eyes at Lancelot while biting into a… cherry? I can’t tell. Some kind of sexually-connoted fruit, that’s for sure. I love how she also looks murderous while doing it. Praying mantis energy.

• Merlin and Gwen’s conversation is so cute. I’ve said it before but it’s giving girlie-and-her-gay-best-friend vibes. Look at them! They are a woman and her gay friend sitting in a bar, exchanging notes about the men around them. Over drinks. The way Merlin encourages Gwen to commit mischief too! “OH YOU ARE NO FUN GWEN. COME ON, JUST PLAY ALONG. WHO WOULD YOU RATHER F—”

• Arthur or Lancelot? I think I know what Merlin’s answer would be. At least at this point in the series. (Hint: it's not Arthur).

• “I think our Sir Lancelot might have eyes for you, Gwen” -> Merlin playing matchmaker already. I love that he’s noticed, and that he’s trying to push these two together because LOVE MUST TRIUMPH. He’s such a romantic.

~ END OF THE CELEBRATION SCENE ~

• Oooh no, Lancelot’s ruse has been discovered, SIR YOU’RE UNDER ARREST

• “You are not worthy of the knighthood bestowed upon you. You never were. And you never will be” -> possibly the worst thing anyone could’ve said to Lancelot, SIR PLEASE STOP YOU’RE BREAKING HIM. CAN’T YOU SEE HE’S ABOUT TO CRY.

• All I can think about when I see gifs of Merlin talking to imprisoned Lancelot is, “it’s okay hun”

• It’s interesting to see S1 Uther so unwilling to accept that the creature they’re trying to defeat might be magic when later in the series he will relish the chance of accusing anything and anyone of being magic. ...Growth?

(The bisexuality of this scene. Off the charts.)

• It seems to me like they were setting up Lancelot to be more of an important character that he ended up being? I mean, he was important, just by virtue of being Lancelot, but he was in a grand total of 6 episodes. But, I love that we can see Arthur’s obvious attachment (for lack of a better word) to him already. A bit like with Gwen and Lancelot, it hints at what’s to come – he is destined to become Arthur’s favourite knight (I know people like to say that it's Leon, but I think it was Lance. And after Lancelot's death it was Mordred, eventually. If you must know.) I love it, foreshadowing. You can feel the future hanging heavy in the air.

• I didn’t remember that Gwen and Lancelot met again and she begged him not to go and I think they should have kissed here

• It’s so funny that while Merlin’s trying to master the spell to defeat the Griffin, Gaius goes, “Don't worry Merlin, we have plenty of time” GAIUS NO YOU LITERALLY HAVE LESS THAN 2 HOURS

• Actually this is a thing Gaius does a lot, telling Merlin he can make it when the chances of success are pretty slim, which on one hand is very sweet, like I get it he's being a supportive dad, but on the other hand it's also... setting Merlin up to be HUGELY DISAPPOINTED if he fails? I don't know, just something I've noticed in other eps.

• The scene of Lancelot killing the Griffin is actually pretty cool? I like the glowing blue spear (how did Merlin think Lancelot wasn’t going to notice) and THE SOUNDTRACK!!

• Merlin's PURE JOY after Lancelot's killed the Griffin is SO adorable, you just feel so happy for him. YES BABY YOU DID IT!!

• I love the parallel “You did it!” scenes with Arthur & Lancelot, Gaius & Merlin, and Arthur & Uther. Very nice, big fan of symmetry

• Gaius’s pride when Merlin comes back victorious is so heartwarming. I’ve said it before but I'll repeat it, Merlin and Gaius’s relationship is possibly my favourite in the show. I think Gaius doesn’t get enough credit for being Merlin’s main source of love and hugs during his Camelot years.

• “The Code bends for no man” / “Then THE CODE IS WRONG!” (!!) -> SAY IT LOUDER MY MAN!! S1 Arthur is so vocal with his father about what he believes is right and wrong, we love to see it

• Lancelot saying he must prove himself worthy of being a knight – of course, he might have been holding the spear that killed the Griffin but he wasn’t the one who actually defeated it, and this will not do. He must now abandon his life-long dream of being a knight and go fight strangers in a cage for money. It’s the only logical next step.

• LANCE I LOVE YOU BUT WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

THE END!!

next episode is... one no one really cares about, but I really really liked it the first time I watched it so. hopefully it will live up to what I remember :3

[destinygoldenstar]

It’s that time again!

To prepare for the next episode, I’m rewatching Digital Circus the days prior to its release.

So by Thursday I’ll be rewatching Episode 3. Leading to Friday when Episode 4 comes out!

Yay! THIS WENT SO WELL LAST TIME!!!

THIS DIDNT LEAVE ME OVERWHELMED BY TUMBLR NOTIFICATIONS AND ACCIDENTALLY STARTING FIGHTS

I TOTALLY DONT REGRET THIS ALREADY!!!

(Now I can’t imagine how Gooseworx felt when the Pilot came out…)

I mean, you guys seem to like my Digital Circus posts anyway, and I do love this show and want to talk about it more in the future. So… enjoy?