#X rambles

[starfallenx]

An art study of @kitsuneisi that I did a while ago!

[waxflowerexe]

Coffee Shop 🍵

ᴴᵃᶦ ʷʰᵒᵉᵛᵉʳˢ ʳᵉᵃᵈᶦⁿᵍ, ᶦᵛᵉ ⁿᵉᵛᵉʳ ᵖᵒˢᵗᵉᵈ ᵃⁿʸᵗʰᶦⁿᵍ ᶠᶦᶜ ʳᵉˡᵃᵗᵉᵈ ᵉᵛᵉʳʳʳ ˢᵒ ˡᶦᵏᵉ ˡᵐᵏ ʷʰᵃᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ᵗʰᶦⁿᵏ, ᶦ ʰᵃᵛᵉⁿᵗ ʷʳᶦᵗᵗᵉⁿᵗ ᵃⁿʸᵗʰᶦⁿᵍ ᵖʳᵒᵖᵉʳˡʸ ᶠᵒʳ ʷᵉˡˡ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵃ ʸᵉᵃʳ ˢᵒ ᵇᵉ ⁿᶦᶜᵉ ˡᵒˡ

Todo with a partner who struggles receiving affection  

Accepting any kind of affection was always difficult for you, something about not getting enough positive attention, something about parental issues and a lack of unconditional love. You didn’t care what it was though, you just couldn’t do it. I mean, you want the praise, the spoiling, the soft touches and attention- but something about it made your stomach churn until you got rid of the source. Whether it be straight up ghosting or just pushing partners away and labelling it as 'the ick', long term relationships were pretty much a no go.

Until Toudou. He was perfectly smitten with you and didn’t take offence when you pushed him away or tried to at least. He knew what you truly wanted and forced you to take it. Beyond casual affection, he truly wanted you to feel safe and it showed. He was so gentle despite his brutish strength and hulking frame, giving you the soft touches you so desperately craved whether it be holding hands or just gently caressing your arms or waist if he’s feeling more bold. You were getting used to it honestly, not quite ready for anything beyond gentle touches and it was nice that someone saw through your façade. That ability of his was something you loved and were deeply grateful for.

It’s always been hard for you to say wat you wanted and as a result people pushed too far. He was so patient with you, as much as he was persistent with showing you affection he didn’t push too far, reading your reactions to different touches and names. On days where you were more sensitive about affections, cringing at his pet names (mostly “sweet girl” and “my pretty”), he would wait for you to initiate. His biggest W was when you were both relaxing at his place going about your own business when you suddenly decided made home in his lap. He didn’t make a deal of it (internally he was screaming but in his head moving or even mentioning it could scare you away). Instead setting for stroking your hair. But yes, he was incredibly receptive of your comfort levels and didn’t condemn you for struggling to communicate what you wanted.

He was more emotionally intelligent than you expected. Moreso than anyone else you’d dealt with before.

Cheeky scenario

“Aoi, let go, people are staring”, actually nobody at all was staring but your fear of being perceived as one of those cringe ‘pda’ couples made you weary of any physical touch in public. 

You should be well adjusted by now, you knew he was clingy and wanted to treat you like his princess but lingering thought made you feel unworthy, embarrassed and sometimes mildly disgusted by it.

He remained silent, brushing you off before massaging the sides of your upper arm and resting his head on your shoulders. You both probably- no definitely looked silly, but again, Toudou didn’t care he would cradle you like a baby everywhere you went if he could.

You stood in line at the local coffee shop, such a cutsey place. It was shocking that Toudou chose it, then again his favourite thing on this earth was Takeda Chan so it tracks. Regardless, choosing to distract yourself from your clingy boyfriend and the sinking feeling in your stomach- you skimmed the menu. Maybe you’d try a new drink or just add something fun to your regular order. This new train of thought combined with Toudou’s soft touches left you completely zoned out. A duality in itself but you’d stopped questioning how many things this man could make you feel at once, it was dizzying to even think about.

“Peppermint tea, no sweetener and a croissant”-

After a quick double take to your boyfriend you smiled at the barista, still a little zoned. You’d only been out for coffee (tea in this case) a few times, and you ordered separately as you didn’t want him paying for you. He lead you to a seating area to wait and ,you turned to face him, he wore a proud smile waiting for some form of praise, for a moment and negative thoughts faded as his pride in himself made you giggle.

Then the guilt returns almost faster than it left as did the familiar pang in your chest, “I’m gonna transfer you the money”, you blurt out. He refused. “No, it’s okay just let me" ,you tried to protest.

After a short back and forth you were met with a “Don’t you dare”, his tone hardened, bordering abrasive, forcing you to shut up and listen.

“o”

And it worked, he shut you right up before pulling you into a hug, your head resting just below his chest as you still attempted to pull away but he didn’t let you. “Just let me love on you", he said softly kissing the top of your head. Again, he said all the right things to make you want to accept his touches, hugs, kisses and whatever else. You’d never admit it but you liked it, you liked that he paid for your order you liked being smushed into his chest and even more the kiss he placed on your head. You did your best to ignore your thoughts and he helped you along with a short whisper of “You deserve everything I have to offer you know, and more”. So you let yourself enjoy the moment until your orders are called.

It wasn’t perfect but slowly you were learning that you were worthy of undying love and you didn’t have to chase away affection

 - Love🌸Flo

ᵛᵉʳʸ ˢᵉˡᶠ ᶦⁿᵈᵘˡᵍᵉⁿᵗ ᵇᵘᵗ ᶦ ʷᵉⁿᵗ ᵒᵘᵗ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᵃ ᵍᵘʸ ᶦ ʷᵃˢ ᵗᵃˡᵏᶦⁿᵍ ᵗᵒ ᴵ ᶦ ʷᶦˢʰ ʰᵉ ʷᵃˢ ˡᶦᵏᵉ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᶦⁿˢᵗᵉᵃᵈ ᵒᶠ ᵉˣᵖᵉᶜᵗᶦⁿᵍ ᶠᵃᵛᵒᵘʳˢ ᶦⁿ ʳᵉᵗᵘʳⁿ ᶠᵒʳ ᵃ ᵍᶦᶠᵗ ⁽ᵃ £¹⁰ ᵇᵒᵒᵏ⁾

[angrygaydragon]

this site made me read about the necromancer space lesbians so now everyone must suffer the consequences as my new hyperfixation takes a choke hold over me, you're welcome

[walking-fnaf-encyclopedia]

im starting to wonder if im the only person who deliberately draws in dark mode. like makes the canvas a dark color instead of the white/grey transparent.

[xnihilosays]

not sure if anybody's done this yet but mumbo and grian sleeping together (no, not like that). grian can't sleep on his back or his side cuz ow, wings, but for most adults sleeping on your stomach causes strain in your chest and back, which is Not Ideal for somebody who's day-to-day routine consists of lifting and moving heavy objects. the solution? grian sleeps literally almost on top of mumbo, using mumbo's chest to support his own torso and reduce strain. mumbo is happy because grian is the equivalent to a warm, feathery weighted blanket. they figured this whole arrangement out years ago, before hermitcraft even, and never looked back.

[x0blivion]

GUESS WHO JUST REACHED 20 YEARS OF LIFE‼️ whipped up this super speedy doodle to celebrate! Seriously thank you so so much for all of the love I’ve been given today! All of you have made today truly special for me!! And to my moots and friends thank you for sticking around for so long and dealing with my craziness, y’all mean the world to me ilyyyyy 💛💛💛💛

[taking-center-stage]

WE AREN’T DEAD!

I’m returning to continue telling this story soon hopefully! Had to go on hiatus because of work and life.

Minor changes will be made to help further tell this story including less color, but it’s the same AU! See you soon!

[xpouii]

Kidney stone fuckin laid my ass out. Never prayed honestly *prayed* to die before just out of desperation for an end to what amounted to sheer agony. Had no insurance at the time so they dragged me around through the financial offices and I was throwing up and unable to sit still or stand up and thankfully my mother was there and they let her sign the forms saying that I would pay the $100 minimum clinic visit fee or else—I doubt I could have even held a pen at that point.

I’m sent to the lab to give a urine sample but as you may imagine the river was dammed. So after half an out of agony in the lab I finally get to see a doctor.

They told me I had a kidney stone, gave me a shot of pain meds and sent me home. I’ve never been so happy as I was in the car when the shit kicked in and I left the mortal plane on a powerful cocktail of non-controlled substances and exhaustion. I was in a stupor for 18 hours and passed the stone at some point during that before eventually coming out of it the next day feeling like I had a godawful kidney infection but otherwise alive.

Now I have a flashback every time I feel any kind of lower back pain, wondering if this is the day it finally returns to finish me off—AND those motherfuckers charged me $75 for the urinalysis they couldn’t do!

DO NOT RECOMMEND.

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[waffleweirdo]

The teaser at the end. Brand new story elements. AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaa!!!!

[rememberwren]

Thinking about how when you’re drunk—and I mean really drunk—you get it in your head to catcall men. They could use a little harassment. When you reach that point, your friends immediately know it’s time to cut you off, acting like the Secret Service as they usher you out of the bar and towards the Uber. But they couldn’t anticipate the group of men standing outside the bar swapping laughs and smoking.

Of course you pick the scariest one of the lot and:

“Hey!” you shout, half giggling. “Hey—you, in the mask!”

The man turns. You can’t see his mouth with the surgical mask in place but you can tell his eyebrows are raised. He’s fucking huge, towering over his counterparts (who are nothing to sniff at), thick and strong. His head cocks in silent question.

“Can I get your number?” you shout, licking your friend’s hand when she slaps it over your mouth. All your friends rush to brush the guy off, but he’s already ashing his cigarette under his boot, slipping his hands into his pocket, and crossing the street quietly.

He stays a healthy distance away, aware of how it looks: a man his size approaching a group of young, inebriated women. You think he’s come to harass you in return, or maybe just to mock you—either way you are stunned silent, mouth agape, eyes wide. He’s so much taller up this close.

“Got a pen?” he asks.

He only approaches then, shoulders hunched to make himself appear smaller and innocuous. He takes your hand in his own and writes his phone number on your forearm.

When you wake up hungover the next morning, his number is there on your arm along with a reminder that you hadn’t been able to see in the dim lighting of the parking lot: XXX-XXXX—S. Drink water.

[starfallenx]

LMAOOOOOO FAIR if need be go on ahead see how many you can get in between now and when i wake up in the morning. Go wild

-erqixi

FUCK YEAH THANK YOU might wanna mute your notifs for a while lmaoo

[angrygaydragon]

This is a note for the people who struggle with the finances of needing new glasses, please please check out Zenni Optical online. As long as you have access to a copy of your prescription you can get some really nice frames for very affordable prices with sunglasses, safety glasses, bifocal lenses and way more stuff. Ive been buying my glasses from them since middle school

Having to pay to see does suck but if this helps anyone find some cheaper alternatives to getting the money beaten out of you for a new pair of specs then by all means have at it.

Made the mistake of bringing up that needing glasses is a disability on tiktok and people got real mad.

“You can fix it with glasses” yeah, cuz they’re a disability aid? But like, I still have to pay 160 bucks to use my own fucking eyes?

Like, by definition, if your eyes do not work without aid, you have a disability to see.

Having a disability doesn’t automatically put you in what people consider the “disabled” category, but that doesn’t change the fact that it is in fact, a disability.

[ayyy-pee]

waking up freezing and shivering, teeth chattering every night because your husband is a blanket hog. you know it's not on purpose. he just can't help it. doesn't even know he does it most times. you'd think after years together you'd be used to it, but waking up curled into the fetal position as you try to retain even a smidge of warmth is something you don't think you'll ever adjust to.

so you reach behind you, feeling your spouses large form wrapped snug as a bug in your shared blanket and you grip onto the fabric. you pull as hard as you can but you don't manage to move him even an inch. you try once more...same result.

"ken..." you whisper, wrapping your arms around yourself. no response. "kento..."

he doesn't budge. you're tempted to just get up and go grab another blanket, but your husband, despite his seriousness, can get quite pouty when you do that. so you tap him hard instead sure to jab him in the spot you know is his most sensitive. this seems to do the trick as he grunts in response.

"I'm cold," you tell nanami and he sits up quickly, realizing what he's done. his pajama top hangs off one shoulder. his blonde hair is pointing every which way and sleep is heavy on his eyelids, threatening to weigh him down again any minute.

"I'm sorry, love," nanami speaks, voice rough and deep with exhaustion, but the sincerity in his apology clear.

then he's throwing the blanket back over you both. only he adds in a little extra warmth as he wraps his arm around your waist and throws a large leg over your body.

nanami buries his face in your neck, adjusting himself so that he can be as close to you as possible. only a few seconds pass before you hear his light snoring behind you. and you know the warmth you feel is from more than just his touch.

[angrygaydragon]

Writing tidbit from a dream I had last night

Opening sequence:

We get familiar with a crew of a few people as they are mid plan to fight a big enemy. A character with long hair and simple clothes transfigurates themself into a statue of sorts amongst others in a hall of statues and the rest of the team runs off to take up their places. The heist begins.

The crew comes running back through later on- a large battalion hot on their heels and the sounds of a monstorus roar shaking the foundations coming from somewhere not far behind.

As the team runs by they dont have time to say anything to their spellcasting teammate who quickly begins their ritual- they are calm and methodical inside the statue. This is meditative and planned. The army runs by none the wiser and just as the spell caster is about to finish their spell- CRaCK.

The last of the crew rounding the corner out of the great hall hear crumbling stone, the wet crunch of bone, and feel, rather than hear, the rumble that permeates the great hall of the dragon's keep. One of the team mates, a small halfling woman, hesitates for just a moment as the gargantuan head of the reptilian beast rears from the shadows.

Crumbling stone and visera covering its jaws as the familiar, blue scarf of the magic user falls to the ground.

The halfling cries out but is pulled along by a taller figure.

~~~~~~~~~

Her eyes shoot open as she rises from her contemplative state. She reaquaints herself with her surroundings, getting her bearings after such an intense bout of scrying.

The fire burns in its hearth and her team mates slumber or otherwise prepare for the upcoming days. Javier, an elven man and their captain, diligently checking their weapons and rations. Penelope, the halfling girl, asleep by the fire, muttering to herself as the rest of the crew rests or mills about. The mission has not occured. Yet.

Vex runs a shaking hand through her long hair, drenched with sweat despite the chill that threatens to creep into her bones. She wraps her scarf tighter around herself and scoots closer to the fire.

"Any luck with the run throughs?" A curious tone from one of the darker corners of the room inquires. Thomas steps into the dim firelight and takes a seat next to her and Penelope. He extends a clawed hand, grasping a flask, for her to take when she doesnt answer.

She takes it with an appreciative nod and a deep swig. A moment more of silence, Thomas's reptilian eyes reflecting the firelight like mirrors back at her and she holds back the urge to shudder.

"We need a better plan."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ive never posted my writing in a public place before and it was just something I had stuck in my head from a dream but I figured I would share it here.

Please enjoy

[walking-fnaf-encyclopedia]

cassidyvictim thoughts/headcanons (which become story-esque so. yeah):

cassidy honestly didnt start off vengeful; they were just.. themself.

but you can only really cry so many tears, especially after more and more and more kids show up and share their stories, the small bits they remember.

it may take years, many years, but for ghosts thats nothing. cassidy doesnt grow spiteful, not really. just…. mad. these are their friends. their friends, who miss their families. miss their lives before this.

they didnt deserve this. none of them did.

cassidy and charlie help them warm up to their afterlife. to their new bodies. cassidy cant do much to help them with controlling their bodies (theirs doesnt move well. or much at all.) so charlie helps them. cassidy lets them talk, hears their distress over everything that happened.

cassidy doesnt really miss anyone. it didnt have friends, really. acquaintances at best. and its family didnt like it. or didnt care for it. michael hated it. elizabeth was too preoccupied with their father - with wanting his attention - to notice it. and its father…..

……

it observes mike, after their father- after williams death. it observed him for quite a while.

it learns why it never saw liz.

it learns more about remnant, and fire, and how the two work.

it does not move on with the others. susie waits for it. charlie does as well.

it does not answer the call to the pizzeria. it tries to warn charlie ahead of time when it finds out. she goes anyways. she trusts henry. hes her dad. of course she trusts him.

when it found out what henry did to charlie, it was frustrated that it couldnt do more.

did william really just get to leave? just like that?

……no. its not letting that happen.

and, god, does it have the strength to dig its claws in keep him here. for as long as it fucking has to.

it brushes off susie and charlies concerns. they stay by its side anyways. their friend needs them, and getting back at william is, admittedly, cathartic. but god, cassidy is wearing itself out.

it wants him to suffer. it doesnt care if theres a price to itself. its grip wont slip until its satisfied.

none of its friends deserved this. it didnt deserve this.

(it knows mike is at fault for its death. it knows all too well. it never could let go of that. but it was so much easier to pretend the man it kept here was at fault, given how much else he was at fault for. how much its friends had hurt.)

charlie and susie are more worried than ever. cassidy gets to a point where it can hardly keep this up.

you can only really stay angry for so many years.

it misses the other kids.

it misses liz.

its so tired.

[xnihilosays]

my fallen angel au in a nutshell

xelqua: i want to be called grian now. is that okay?

scar: sure thing! i'm trans too, actually ^-^

grian: no, like... the name xelqua doesn't fit the person who i am anymore. this is me entering a new, happier era of my life where i don't have to be what everyone constantly expected from me.

scar: yeah! i'm trans too! ^-^