#Write what feels true
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we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.
"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."
i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.
you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"
i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.
what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.
i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.
"don't make a big deal about this," you said.
this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.
"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.
you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."
the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.
afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."
#spilled ink#writeblr#i'm trying to write about this really specific and wierd new experience#that i think is specific to the internet generation#where people you trust can just... say whatever??? and while most people are trustworthy#sometimes they'll just like... put ur shit out there????#and the thing is that sometimes it's GOOD - i want you to tell ppl if ur partner is being cruel!!!!!#i want u to be like ''hey is it normal if xyz happens'' ... but stuff like ''she's afraid of the dark''#PARTICULARLY when it's CLEARLY making fun of me....#what is the point of that.#this is huge and complicated and happens outside of romantic relationships too btw#like someone u thought of as a friend will be like . oh did u know she's scared of heights and it's like.#girl why are u fuckin doing that tho?#it's not a SECRET i just ...???????????????????????#and i think that gross feeling of like -- ''i can't REALLY be upset bc there's not a TRUE RULE about this....''#it's just not something talked about. bc it's so specific and yet so complex#bc how could i say like '' this is a violation of trust'' when it... technically I GUESS isn't????????????#idk maybe im just like super sensitive but please tell me in the comments/tags/etc if this is#something u have experienced (a trusted person like spreading ur shit) and if u were cool with it
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emergency contact | park sunghoon x reader
prompt: weeks after your breakup, sunghoon finds out that he’s still your emergency contact. pairing: non-idol sunghoon x implied female reader genre: angst with hopeful/happy? ending; second chance romance??; exes to lovers??? word count: 2800 note: i’ve had a cute fic idea that i wanted to write forever…but this is not it. the sad demons have visited me once again. hope y’all enjoy nevertheless and any feedback is much appreciated <3
sunghoon was miserable.
it had been three weeks, five days, two hours, and thirty-two minutes since the two of you had gone no contact.
he wished he could say he was happy to be single, that he was no longer “locked down” and “whipped” as his friends had always called him. but the so-called “freedom” felt like hell since it meant losing you.
at first, he kept telling himself that time would heal the pain. “it’s natural,” he had repeated like a mantra, “she was your best friend and lover for years.” but no, this heartbreak was inhumane. his desire to see you, apologize endlessly, and spend days holding you until you could feel every ounce of his love was gnawing at his soul. if anything, it got worse by the minute.
he had tried so hard to balance work and the rest of his life, using the excuse several times that he was securing this future for your shared life with him. that one day, you’d be able to reap the rewards of his efforts and live comfortably together without stress.
but what was the use of all of that now? the future he had worked so hard to create was ripped out from his hands by no one other than himself.
you had accused him of being too busy for you. dates canceled at the last minute, a birthday forgotten, and all the texts left on read had built up to the argument that ended it all. he was always good at fighting, a little too good. he had retorted that you weren’t being supportive, and he was never one to sugarcoat his words. his tongue was sharp, and he did nothing to dull its blade.
but there wasn’t too much yelling on your part, and he thought that that hurt more. he wanted you to fight back, to stand your ground because he knew deep down that he was being the asshole. his toxic thought was that by you fighting back, this meant that you were still fighting for your relationship. but instead, you just stared with silent tears and a blank expression. seeing the indifference in eyes that had previously held so much love was a sight that would stay with him forever. so, in fear of you leaving, he ran instead.
he was a coward, leaving your shared home to run back to the apartment he had still technically owned but hadn’t lived in for more than a year. he locked himself away for a few days, but the realization that you hadn’t attempted to contact him burned more than he could put into words. you were done with him. he had hurt you, had the audacity to be the one to run, and now he had lost you.
he had even run from his job. he couldn’t stand to walk into the same building he stayed in when he forgot dates with you. his coworkers wouldn’t stop asking what happened to him, why he looked so rough. he even found an empty container that had once held lunch you made for him. but his final straw was getting promoted. his first instinct was to call you, but he remembered the sad truth before he could dial. any ounce of pride was washed away with shame in that moment. that same day, he quit without notice.
so there he was: miserable, alone, and unemployed with nothing left to run from but memories. he had spent the last week going through his phone and saving your pictures together in a locked album. he wouldn’t dare delete them, but he couldn’t stomach looking at you either.
he wished he could get drunk and sleep away the pain. he had tried, he definitely did - but that night, he dreamt of you. you were smiling at first, eyes ever full of love. you were speaking, yet he couldn’t hear you. but he could see how your words started to gradually look sadder, and slowly, tears started to fall as your grin dropped. he woke up that next morning crying with the conclusion that he would have to face this heartbreak sober.
but another day of scrolling through albums had stopped abruptly when he saw the notification that changed everything.
SOS i called emergency services from this approximate location after my watch detected a hard fall. you are receiving this message because i have you listed as my emergency contact.
sunghoon had to remind himself to breathe.
he had purchased that watch for you as a “just because” present months ago. you had complained of bad sleep and he wanted you to use it as a way to track your slumber. he hated seeing you tired. he knew that the watch had a fall detection function, but it had never been used before.
his heart was in his stomach as he went to his favorite contacts page and selected your name for the first time in weeks.
“please,” he begged, all notion of running away from you leaving his brain, “pick up please.”
but you just weren’t answering. so he tried again and again and again.
for a moment while the line attempted to connect, he wondered if this was how he had made you feel for months - desperate for a sliver of attention from him. but instead, he was desperate for a sign of life.
finally, after about two minutes of trying to reach you, his body moved of its own accord. before he knew it, his car keys were in his hands and he was out the door.
the car ride there might have been the worst part. the speed at which he drove at almost defied the laws of physics. other drivers were cursing at him but he wasn’t registering anything except the thought of your safety. he just needed to get to you.
why did he run? why didn’t he try to talk it out? if he was so afraid of losing you, why did he do the one thing that would guarantee that? he should have been there like he promised to be from the beginning. you would have been safe with him.
when he pulled up to the house you had shared for so long, he suddenly felt the world slow down. why were emergency services there? you should’ve canceled them by now.
he had to double park as the ambulance was blocking the driveway. why were they here?
the emts and police had arrived at the same time as him, which both increased his anxiety and soothed him. for one, that meant he had been quick enough. but why did you need them?
“sir, do you know–” an officer had approached him as he stumbled to the front door. all he could understand was your name. why were they asking if he knew you? of course he knew you. you, the love of his life. you, his soulmate by every meaning of the word. you were you. and you were safe.
as if sensing his distress, he felt an emt worker pull him to the side as the same officer prepared to break down the door. seeing this, sunghoon finally returned to his senses.
“w-wait! sorry, i have a key.” sunghoon’s hands were shaking. the only way that door had unlocked was by pure muscle memory because he didn’t understand what he was doing at all.
as soon as the door opened, sunghoon tried to step in. finally, he was close to you.
the officer, however, pulled him back.
“sir, you should wait here. we need to make an initial search before you can go in.”
“what, why? if she’s in there, i want to see–”
“sir, it’s just in case we find something we wouldn’t want you to see.”
all of sunghoon’s hesitation and fear went out the window at those words. his body flew automatically as he ran inside.
he screamed your name as he rushed in, ignoring the yells of the police officers who followed him in. as it had been for almost four weeks, his only thought was you. he just needed you.
he checked the ground floor first, eyes scanning the open space in less than a second as his body avoided an officer trying to grab him. sunghoon then moved to the staircase, long legs prepared to skip steps to reach you. then suddenly, he heard the voice his ears had been longing for,
“sunghoon?!”
his head shot up. there you were, finally. he saw the sadness, confusion, and fear all flash your face as you registered the emergency workers behind him. you looked exhausted and unruly, but he had never felt more in love.
he didn’t even remember climbing the steps, but suddenly he was at the top of the staircase and you were in his arms.
you could feel him trembling as he held you. you took his face into your hands to look at him, “sunghoon? what’s wrong? why are you here? is it my parents? is someone hurt?” you watched as his mouth opened but no words came out. after a few seconds, one of the officers spoke from the bottom of the steps,
“ma’am, we received an alert from your device that a hard fall had occurred.”
suddenly, you understood everything. taking sunghoon’s hand gently, you led him down the stairs, afraid he’d fall from shock. he followed you silently, but his grip tightened seemingly with every step.
that’s when you noticed your shattered watch on the third step.
you let sunghoon go and you could hear his deep breath when you did. you picked up the watch and offered it up to the officer as an explanation, “i’m sorry officer, it looks like there’s been a misunderstanding…”
the officer nodded in understanding, and dismissed the emts, “got it, ma’am. we will still need a formal report for our records since this was registered as an emergency call.” he motioned to your couch as he took out a pen and paper.
you reached for sunghoon’s hand once more and led him to sit with you. in the moment, you knew he needed you more than you would ever understand. so, as you explained to the officer, you held his trembling hand, rubbing soothing circles with your thumb.
“i was doing laundry here downstairs and had taken off my watch to prevent it from getting wet,” you recounted, “i put it on top of the basket of clothes that i took upstairs. i remember tripping a little going up the stairs - i didn’t fall, but that must’ve been when the watch fell."
"what about your phone, where is it? i'm sure your boyfriend must've tried to call you."
sunghoon slowly nodded at that, turning to look at you. you smiled sheepishly, "i left it upstairs and it was on silent while i folded the clothes. i’m so sorry for the inconvenience.”
after finishing up your statement, the remaining officer prepared to leave. as he walked out the door, he gave a soft smile to the both of you,
“glad to see it was a false alarm, ma’am. you had this gentleman quite worried - ran so fast i couldn’t even grab him!” the officer laughed, “you two have a nice day now! sorry about your watch, though!”
after he shut your door, the silence enveloped your home. you closed your eyes and breathed deeply to prepare to speak to your ex-boyfriend. but as soon as you opened them, sunghoon started to cry softly.
he hugged you tighter than he ever had, and soon enough, his face was buried in your neck. his cries were silent, but you could feel his body shaking as his tears soaked your shirt.
“sunghoon…” you started, stroking his back, “i’m sorry i worried you, honey.”
you knew you shouldn’t be calling your ex pet names, especially an ex that had run from you without properly ending the relationship. but your heart still held so much love for him that it flowed out naturally. and you knew he was crying from more than just worry, so you doubt he minded at all in the moment.
his crying slowed down as his arms took to loosely wrapping around your waist instead. he pulled away from your neck to rest his forehead on yours. from this angle, you could see his swollen eyes and red nose - a sight so rare in all the years you had dated. he was never a crier after all.
but memories of several late-night conversations rushed your mind. he always said his number one fear was your death, and now you could see he had never lied about that.
he could see your mind go elsewhere so he called your name softly, “don’t say you’re sorry. i’m so happy, these are relieved tears. and i just really, really missed you.” he croaked out. you knew he had more to say, so you just nodded, letting him go on.
“and i’m sorry, baby. for everything. i shouldn’t have run, i shouldn’t have tried to egg you on to fight me back. i shouldn’t have even fought anything you said that night. you were right. i didn’t prioritize you. in my attempt to secure you for life, i let you go instead. i’m so sorry, i never wanted to break up.” he was rambling in earnest now, afraid that no words would make you take him back.
you listened quietly as he went on for a few minutes after that, hand continuing to rub his back, “i know honey, i know.”
“baby, you need to understand that i almost died thinking you almost died today,” you could’ve laughed at how dramatically he spoke, “i couldn’t breathe right thinking that our last conversation could’ve been an argument. that you wouldn't have ever known just how deeply i love you and need you. i have so much regret for how i treated you, but if you’d give me the chance, i have all the time in the world to make it up to you…let’s go on that vacation i promised you. we can leave tomorrow if you’d like.” he smiled hopefully at you.
“hoon,” his heart soared at the use of his beloved nickname, “what do you mean? don’t you have work? can you really leave with such short notice?”
“i quit my job.”
“excuse me?”
“no job that made me work that much is worth it. i’ll find one with better work-life balance…after our vacation. if that’s what you still want of course…” he spoke more quietly, as if afraid of rejection.
you sighed. you really should be realistic with this - you two had been broken up for a few weeks at that point. you knew the love was still there, but was this a good decision?
while there was still some hesitation on your part, you couldn't help but notice how gingerly he held you. his arms were still around your waist loosely, yet there was something desperate about their hold. you knew he was holding back from hurting you - you could tell how tightly he wanted to hug you.
he was so shaken up at the idea of you being hurt that he rushed over there despite the two of you not being on speaking terms. for someone who had trouble communicating how he felt sometimes, you knew his actions spoke louder than words. he always acted brave, but there was so much he feared. and you knew losing you was always at the top of this list.
you could also feel how he was simply soaking in the sight of your face. his eyes were shy, yet determined. he wasn't going to risk missing another second of staring at you. a part of you grew conscious, but you knew he was just taking in what he had missed for weeks.
“what about…” you started and almost giggled at how he perked up, “we take it slow - another two weeks or so to talk everything out and relax? to get us to a good place again before you hold me hostage in some foreign country?”
sunghoon smiled softly, kissing your forehead. you leaned in naturally to his warmth, to his touch that you missed so much. “that sounds like a great idea, love.” he spoke, “we’ll get you a new watch too. and i’ll do all the itinerary planning and packing whenever you’re ready, okay? i love you.”
“okay. and i love you too. can’t wait to enjoy your unemployment with you for now!”
one smile and nod from you had him taking you into his arms once more, relishing in your being. he was back where he belonged. he had experienced the scariest reminder ever that he needed you, and sunghoon was never letting you go now.
#sunghoon#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon angst#park sunghoon#sunghoon fic#sunghoon angst to fluff#enhypen x reader#enhypen imagines#enhypen sunghoon#enhypen scenarios#enhypen#angst with happy ending#my fic#hoon fic#hoon#enha imagines#sunghoon scenarios#sunghoon imagines#enha scenarios#exes to lovers#angst with a happy ending#enha#i can never write true angst#so many tags and for what#feeling esp angsty bc they are at kcon la and i am not yay!#sunghoon fluff
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Ooh, now that we’ve seen N!Edwin and DP!Edwin talk about Feelings could we see the same with N!Charles and DP!Charles?
As simple as that.
Edwins version
ko-fi
#ask ask ask#dead boy detectives#dbda#payneland#edwin x charles#doom patrol#dead patrol#oof man i was not made to write serious conversations#is this healthy? who the hell knows#but is it true to charles' character?#well i sure hope so!#in dp!charles mind#his whole reason for staying has always been edwin#if he gets to do stay with him#it'll be great no matter what form their relationship takes#if edwin loves him in a romantic way? hell yeah! then they can be even closer!#he is thinking in an 'I am his already since the day he found me' sort of way#and to be honest I think dbd!charles agrees#but he also knows he is a people pleaser so he doesn't want to just go and say yes to edwin to make him happy#without being sure he will be able to keep saying yes forever#dp!charles doesn't have this conflict because i genuinely don't think he's picturing forever#he's not as confident in their ability to outrun Death indefinitely#but that allows him to understand more clearly what he's feeling now!#I have thoughts about these boys as you can see
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Writing Prompt #12
Bruce is reading the paper when the pour of Tim's coffee goes abruptly quiet. It would be hard to pinpoint why this is disturbing if it wasn't for the way the soft, tinny sound the vent system in the manor makes cuts out for the first time since being updated in the 90s. The pour, Bruce realizes, has not slowed to a trickle before stopping. It has simply stopped. And there is no overeager clack of a the mug against the marble counter or the uncouth first slurp (nor muttered apology at Alfred's scolding look) immediately following the end of the pour.
Bruce fights the instinct to use all of his senses to investigate, and instead keeps his eyes on the byline of the article detailing the latest set of microearthquakes to hit the midwest in the last week. Microearthquakes aren't an unusual occurrence and aren't noticeable by human standards, which is why this article is regulated to page seven, but from several hundred a day worldwide to several hundred a day solely in the East North Central States, seismologists are baffled.
Bruce had been considering sending Superman to investigate under the guise of a Daily Planet article requested by Bruce Wayne (Wayne Industries does have an offshoot factory in the area) when everything had stopped twenty seconds ago. That is what he assumes has happened (having not moved a muscle to confirm) in the amount of time he assumes has passed. His million dollar Rolex does not quite audibly tick but in the absolute silence it should be heard, which confirms the silence to be exactly that—absolute.
While Bruce can hold his breath with the best of the Olympian swimmers, he has never accounted for a need to remain without blinking without being able to move one's eyes. Rotating the eyeballs will maintain lubrication such that one could go without blinking for up to ten minutes. But staring at the byline fixedly, he estimates another twenty seconds before tears start to form.
These are the thoughts Bruce distracts himself with, because he doesn't dare consider how Tim and Alfred haven't made a (living) sound in the past forty-five seconds. About Damian, packing his bag upstairs for school after a morning walk with Titus that was "just pushing it, Master Damian".
There is a knife to his right, if memory serves (it does). In the next five seconds—
"Your wards and guardian are fine, Mr. Wayne," the deepest voice Bruce has ever heard intones. For a dizzying moment, it is hard to pinpoint the location of the voice, for it comes from everywhere—like the chiming of a clocktower whilst inside the tower, so overpowering he is cocooned in its volume.
But it is not spoken loudly, just calmly, and when he puts the paper down, folds it, and looks to his right, a blue man sits in Dick's chair.
He wears a three piece suit made entirely of hues of violet, tie included. He has a black brooch in the shape of a cogwheel pinned to his chest pocket, a simple chain clipped to his lapel. Black leather gloves delicately thumb Bruce's watch (no longer on his wrist, somewhere between second 45 and 46 it has stopped being on his wrist), admiring it.
"You'll forgive me," the man says with surety. "Clocks are rather my thing, and this is an impressive piece." He turns it over and reveals the 'M. Brando' roughly scratched into the silver back. He frowns.
"What a shame," he says, placing it face side up on the table.
"Most would consider that the watch's most valuable characteristic." Bruce says, voice steady, hands neatly folded before him. Two inches from the knife. To his left, there is an open doorway to the kitchen. If he turns his head, he might be able to get a glance of Tim or Alfred.
He doesn't look away from the man.
"It is the arrogance of man," the man says, raising red eyes (sclera and all) to Bruce, "to think they can make their mark on time."
"...Is that supposed to be considered so literally?" Bruce asks, with a light smile he does not mean.
The man smiles lightly back, eyes crinkling at the corners. He looks to be in his mid thirties, clean-shaven. His skin is a dull blue, his hair a shock of white, and a jagged scar runs through one eye and curving down the side of his cheek, an even darker, rawer shade of blue-purple.
The man turns the watch back over and taps at the engraving. "Let me ask you this," he says. "When we deface a work of art, does it become part of the art? Does it add to its intrinsic meaning?"
Bruce forces his shoulders to shrug. "It's arbitrary," he says. "A teenager inscribes his name on the wall of an Ancient Egyptian temple and his parents are forced to publicly apologize. But runic inscriptions are found on the Hagia Sophia that equate to an errant Viking guard having inscribed 'Halfdan was here' and we consider it an artifact of a time in which the Byzantine Empire had established an alliance with the Norse and converted vikings to Christianity."
"The vikings were as errant as the teenager," the man says, "in my experience." He leans back in his chair. "I suppose you could say the difference is time. When time passes, we start to think of things as artistic, or historical. We find the beauty in even the rubble, or at least we find necessity in the destruction..."
He offers Bruce the watch. After a moment, Bruce takes it.
"The problem, Mr. Wayne, is that time does not pass for me. I see it all as it was, as it is, as it ever will be, at all times. There is no refuge from the horror or comfort in that one day..." he closes his hand, the leather squeaking. And then his face smooths out, the brief severity gone. He regards Bruce calmly.
"You can look left, Mr. Wayne."
Bruce looks left. Framed by the doorway, Tim looks like a photograph caught in time. A stream of coffee escapes the spout of the stainless steel pot he prefers over the Breville in the name of expediency, frozen as it makes its way to the thermos proclaiming BITCH I MIGHTWING. Tim regards his task with a face of mindless concentration, mouth slack, lashes in dark relief against his pale skin as he looks down at the mug. Behind him, Bruce can see Alfred's hand outstretched towards the refrigerator handle, equally and terrifyingly still.
"My name is Clockwork," the man says. "I have other names, ones you undoubtedly know, but this one will be bestowed upon me from the mouth of a child I cherish, and so I favor it above all else. I am the Keeper of Time."
"What do you want from me?" Bruce asks, shedding Wayne for Batman in the time it takes to meet Clockwork's eyes. The man acknowledges the change with a greeting nod.
"In a few days time, you will send Superman to the Midwest to investigate the unusual seismic activity. By then, it will be too late, the activity will be gone. They will have already muzzled him."
"Him."
"There is a boy with the power to rule the realm I come from. Your government has been watching him. The day he turned 18, they took him from his family and hid him away. I want you to retrieve him. I want you to do it today."
"Why me?"
"His parents do not have the resources you do, both as Batman and Bruce Wayne. You will dismantle the organization that is keen on keeping him imprisoned, and you will offer him a scholarship to the local University. You and yours will keep him safe within Gotham until he is able to take his place as my King."
This is a lot of information to take in, even for Bruce. The idea that there could be a boy powerful enough to rule over this (god, his mind whispers) entity and that somehow, he has slipped under all of their radars is as frustrating as it is overwhelming. But although Clockwork has seemed willing to converse, he doesn't know how many more questions he will get.
"You have the power to stop time," he decides on, "why don't you rescue him? Would he not be better suited with you and your people?"
"Within every monarchy, there is a court," Clockwork. "Mine will be unhappy with the choice I have made," he looks at Bruce's watch, head cocked. "In different worlds, they call you the Dark Knight. This will be your chance to serve before a True King."
Bruce bristles. "I bow to no one."
"You'll all serve him, one day," Clockwork says, patiently. "He is the ruler of realms where all souls go, new and old. When you finally take refuge, he will be your sanctuary." He frowns. "But your government rejects the idea of gods. All they know is he is other. Not human. Not meta. A weapon."
"A weapon you want me to bring to my city."
"I believe you call one of your weapons 'Clark', do you not?" Clockwork asks idly. "But you misunderstand me. They seek to weaponize him. He is not restrained for your safety, but for their gain."
"And if I don't take him?" Bruce asks, because a) Clockwork has implied he will be at the very least impeded, at worst destroyed over this, and b) he never did quite learn not to poke the bear. "You won't be around if I decide he's better off with the government."
"You will," Clockwork says, with the same certainty he's wielded this entire conversation. "Not because he is a child, though he is, nor because you are good, though you are, nor even because it is better power be close at hand than afar.
"I have told you my court will be unhappy with me. In truth, there are others who also defend the King. Together we will destroy the access to our world not long after this conversation. The court will be unable to touch him, but neither will we as we face the repercussions for our actions. I am telling you this, because in a timeline where I do not, you think I will be there to protect him. And so when he is in danger, even subconsciously, you choose to save him last, or not at all. And that is the wrong choice.
"So cement it in your head, Bruce Wayne," the man says, "You will go to him because I tell you to. And you will keep him safe until he is ready to return to us. He will find no safety net in me. So you will make the right choice, no matter the cost."
"Or, when our worlds connect again, and they will," his voice now echoes in triplicate with the voices of the many, the young, the old, Tim, Bruce's mother, Barry Allen, Bruce's own voice, "I will not be the only one who comes for you."
"Now," he says, producing a Wayne Industries branded BIC pen. "I will tell you the location the boy is being kept, and then I would like my medallion back, please. In that order."
Bruce glances down and sees a golden talisman, attached to a black ribbon that is draped haphazardly around the neck of his bathrobe, so light (too light, he still should have—) he has not felt its weight until this moment.
Bruce flips the paper over, takes the pen, and jots down the coordinates the being rattles off over the face of a senator. By his calculation, they do correspond with a location in the midwest.
"You will find him on B6. Take a left down the hallway and he will be in the third room down, the one with a reinforced steel door. Take Mr. Kent and Mr. Grayson with you, and when you leave take the staircase at the end of the hallway, not the elevator."
The man gets up, dusts off his impeccably clean pants, and offers him a hand to shake.
"We will not meet again for some time, Mr. Wayne."
Bruce looks at the creature, stands, and shakes his hand. It feels like nothing. The Keeper of Time sighs, although nothing has been said.
"Ask your question, Mr. Wayne."
"I have more than one."
"You do," Clockwork says. "But I have heard them all, and so they are one. Please ask, or I will not be inclined to answer it."
"What does this boy mean for the future, that you are willing to sacrifice yourself for him?"
There is a pause.
"So that is the one," Clockwork says, after a time. "Yes. I see. I should resolve this, I suppose."
"Resolve what?"
"It is not his future I mean to protect," the man says. "It is his present."
"You want to keep him safe now..." Bruce says, but he's not sure what the being is trying to say.
"I am not inclined," Clockwork repeats, stops. His expression turns solemn, red eyes widening. In their reflection, Bruce can see something. A rush of movement too quick to make heads or tails of, like playing fast forward on a videotape. "Superman reports no signs of unusual seismic activity. With nothing further to look into, you let it go in favor of other investigative pursuits. You do not find him, as you are not meant to. He stays there. His family, his friends, they cannot find him. His captors tell him they have moved on. He does not believe them, until he does. He stays there. He stays there until he is strong enough to save himself."
Clockwork speaks stiffly, rattling off the chain of events as if reading a Justice League debrief. "He is King. He will always be King. He is strong, and good, and compassionate, and he is great for my people because yours have betrayed his trust beyond repair. He throws himself into being the best to ever Be, because there is nothing Left for him otherwise. We love him. We love him. We love him. My King. Forevermore."
The red film in his eyes stall out, and Bruce is forced to look away from how bright the image is, barely making out a silhouette before they dull back to their regular red.
"I am not inclined," Clockwork says slowly, "To this future."
"Because of what it means in the present," Bruce finishes for him. "They're not just imprisoning him, are they."
"They will have already muzzled him."
Clockworks is right in front of him faster than he can process, fist gripping the medallion at his neck so tight he now feels the ribbon digging into his skin.
"Unlike you, Mr. Wayne," and for the first time, the god is angry, and the image of it will haunt Bruce for the rest of his life, "I do not believe in building a better future on the back of a broken child."
"Find him," the deity orders, and yanks the necklace so hard the ribbon rips—
Clack!
"sluuuuurp!"
"Master Timothy, honestly!"
"Sorry Alfred!"
#i feel like I'm going to reread this and want to add other stuff#but I also just want to post it and get it out there#fun fact i scribbled a bunch of lines down at 2am bc i didn't want to forget them#im bad at multiple drafts#my writing#dp x dc#dp x dc au#dp x dc prompt#dp x dc crossover#danny phantom#batman#i live to make everybody dramatic#but also i subscribe to a world where clockwork doesn't know how NOT to be dramatic#lol he's a ghost from all of time he doesn't know how to speak to humans and tailor it to the century let alone the decade#and his favorite little girl who calls him clocky loves how he speaks so#he doesn't need to change for nobody#nor feels inclined to#also I feel like as god he's way more inclined to threaten to get what he wants than like...be vulnerable#jazz: let's unpack that#clockwork: we never do#jazz: are you saying that because it's true or because that's what you want to be true?#clockwork: ...#also I cannot take credit for BITCH I MIGHTWING#wish i could#that is cash money right there#shoutout to 11thsense
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OH MY GOD??? HAS IT SERIOUSLY BEEN A MONTH????? I am so sorry guys
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#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#fop nature au#fop dev#fop dale#dev dimmadome#dale dimmadome#art#digital art#fanart#comic#GODD I DIDNT MEAN TO TAKE THAT LONG OF A BREAK#the next pages are done but since I posted the first 2 as a batch I decided to keep it consistent#the next two pages are already done though I promise!!!! You will not have another wait like that#wugh what was I even going to say about these pages I need to keep a commentary of my thoughts while I write these#Ill be honest the script for these pages went in a way different direction than I was planning LOL but I like it#As awful of a dad as Dale is I do think he has legitimate issues around the idea of someone taking Dev from him/dev being kidnapped#because of what Vicky did to him the idea of Dev being kidnapped makes him feel legitimately nauseous#unfortunately that doesnt always stop him from being a reckless awful parent#but it is part of the reason he would never hire a human caretaker for Dev. somethin.. something. bad experience with a babysitter...#another thing about Dale is that generally he is very... blunt with Dev. For better and for worse.#He WILL give Dev compliments if he thinks what he did was praise worthy. And he'll just as easily say something awful. if he thinks it true#more on that in upcoming pages...
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insecure — kim mingyu | 2,146 words | fluff, hurt/comfort
milm (man i love mingyu). short haired mingyu is so fucking hot. also, i will gladly spread the mingyu passenger princess agenda.
gender neutral reader. warnings: alcohol.
mingyu doesn't know what exactly he's feeling at the moment. his emotions range from tiredness due to how late in the night it is, to amusement as he half-registers the movie playing on the television, to his heart feeling like it's being crushed and released over and over again.
vernon, in his drunken state, made a quip about you and wonwoo making out years ago.
that has to be a joke, right? you've always said said you've never liked wonwoo that way, and mingyu knows you'd never lie to him. so why does it feel like he's waiting for something bad when he sees your text informing him you're on your way to pick him up from his place to spend a night at yours?
he himself had asked for it earlier in the day, happy when you said you'd love to have him over for the night. but given the stuff that's come up hardly an hour ago, he doesn't know if he wants to see you.
of course he does. but he's worried that he's going to say something stupid to you.
the doorbell ringing shakes him out of his thoughts. wonwoo beats him to opening the door. you're standing in one of mingyu's own hoodies, spinning your car keys in your hand, and the thought warms him up a bit. he's still not used to seeing you in his clothes.
you greet wonwoo and he moves aside to let you in. your eyes light up immediately when you spot mingyu. he raises his arms up to let you hug him from behind.
"feeling cold?" you ask, kissing his head, which is covered with a beanie. he kind of wishes you'd kissed his forehead instead.
"a bit, yeah," he says, not untruthfully. but the cold is not the only reason he has a beanie on. he brings your hand to his mouth to press a quick kiss. as much as he loves you, he's had enough of being teased by the boys for a day. he'd much rather save the real kisses for when you get out of here.
"no greetings for us?" seungcheol asks, taking a sip of his drink.
you smile and say hi to him and vernon. "sorry, guys. i've spent all day away from gyu. you have no idea how terrible it is."
"we've spent all day with him, and we kind of have an idea of how terrible it is," vernon says with a cheeky smile.
"hey," mingyu says, no real annoyance in his voice. you laugh, your hand resting on mingyu's shoulder.
"i'll be more than glad to take him off your hands. let's go, gyu?" you ask.
mingyu nods and pushes himself off the sofa, bidding the other guys goodnight.
you shiver when you step out of the building and walk towards your car. mingyu notices and takes your hand in his, putting it in the pocket of his own hoodie. he knows it doesn't help much, especially when your other hand must also be freezing, but the smile you give him is worth it. he lets go of your hand when you get to the car so you can settle down in your respective seats.
"so, how was your day?" you ask, putting the key in its slot. he can smell takeout from the backseat and his heart does a little flip. just a few years ago, he wouldn't have imagined he'd be sharing a life with someone like this, treasuring late night dinners with someone in a car. and he'd never imagined that someone would be you.
he's glad you're here, even though he knows you're always there for him. it's been an uphill journey getting himself to believe that you really do love him, because there are days like this when he doubts half of everything he knows.
"fine," he says, unzipping his hoodie. the inside of your car is warm enough for him to feel a bit better.
"that's not how you speak if your day went well," you say, reaching over to lay a hand on his thigh.
of course you know him too well. "the shoot began at seven in the morning," he says, leaning back against his seat to relax himself. "and then woozi wanted us to give some input on some lyrics he'd written before we wrapped up for the day. then wonwoo invited everyone home for a dinner party, but the only guys who stuck around were us four, because seungcheol had some ideas for the new choreography."
"aw," you say. "you wanted to leave earlier?"
"yeah. it's better with you here."
when you don't say anything, he looks at you, only to find you looking at him...sadly? confusedly? "not that i'm looking for trouble," you say, taking your hand back from his thigh, "but did i do something?"
of course not. you haven't done anything. even if you did, it's in the past. but the mere possibility that you did it...
"you hooked up with wonwoo."
you blink once. then twice. "what?"
that's an insane accusation to make out of context. so what if vernon said what he said? he was pretty drunk already. "um. i...vernon..."
you sigh. "did he say wonwoo wouldn't shut up about it for a while?"
so it did happen. mingyu nods, a bit numb. time and again his friends have teased you with wonwoo because his roommate is your boyfriend and his best friend, and time and again you've shown that you've only ever wanted mingyu. so why—
"did you...settle for me?" the words sound pathetic, even to himself. but it doesn't make sense otherwise. why would you give up a relationship with wonwoo? his standards for dating are so high, and mingyu often conspires with his friends to get his roommate to go on dates, only to no avail. wonwoo's quite content, being by himself.
you turn in your seat however much you can and look at him. your lips are pressed together in an unhappy line and mingyu hates that he's the reason you look this way.
"is that what you think i did?" you ask, folding your hands in your lap. "that i settled for you?"
"no," mingyu says, and knows he means it entirely. he knows you love him. a lot. but some days the question creeps up out of nowhere and doesn't let go for hours on end.
"then why would you think i did that?"
mingyu shrugs. what was the deal with wonwoo, he wants to ask.
you sigh and reach forward to hold his thigh again. this time, he doesn't let your hand escape, trapping your colder hand in place with his warm one.
"it's true," you say slowly. "i hooked up with wonwoo."
mingyu lets out a shaky breath. "why didn't you ever tell me that?"
"does it change anything between us?"
like hell it would. mingyu would kick himself if that ever happened. he stares at his hand on yours. "no," he says reluctantly. "unless you have feelings for him— i know you don't, baby. but still."
you reach for his hand with your other one, trapping it like a sandwich. an idiot sandwich, he thinks, the thought bringing a small smile to his face.
"when i say we hooked up, we just kissed. a whole lot. but it was only ever that."
mingyu looks up at that. you're serious, he realizes. "just...kissing?"
"yeah. we knew it'd go nowhere. it was a mistake."
a mistake? "when...did this happen?"
"remember that party your friend baekho threw? wonwoo invited me to it."
mingyu doesn't remember the specifics, but he knows you'd been invited by wonwoo because he'd wanted the whole group to meet his old friend from college. mingyu had taken one look at you and realized he really liked you. it wasn't like wonwoo to have a ton of friends that weren't from the band, so he'd immediately taken a shine to you.
you take your hands away from his and he immediately misses them, even though they're cold. "it was supposed to be you," you say, voice small.
"what?"
"the person i kissed. it was supposed to be you."
"what?" he knows he sounds like a broken record.
you let out a small, embarrassed noise. "wonwoo said he'd try to get you alone in a room so i could confess and see what happened. but because we both ended up being drunk by the end of the night, he mistook me for some girl and i mistook him for you and we kissed."
mingyu gapes at you. you're a very graceful drunk, leagues ahead of him, but kissing someone thinking they're someone else?
"shut up," you murmur. "if i'd known it was wonwoo i'd have backed off right away."
mingyu lets out a laugh, his heart feeling so much lighter. to think you'd been kissing wonwoo thinking it was mingyu makes him feel giddy. he likes knowing you've probably been into him longer than he's been into you.
"then what was that thing about wonwoo not being able to shut up?"
you sigh. "he found it pretty funny and always brought it up to the guys, but i wasn't amused."
mingyu can't get it out of his head now. it's more funny than it's sad. maybe it's funny in a sad way. but he can't stop thinking about how awkward it must have been for you to hang out with wonwoo after that little mishap.
"stop laughing," you scold him lightheartedly, smacking his arm.
"i'm sorry," he says, hands reaching out for you. the weight on his chest has almost gone entirely.
it's a bit difficult, but you manage to move to his side and sit on his lap. your car's a bit small for such fancy maneuvers but mingyu always loves being close to you, no matter how.
"hi," you say, finally kissing him. he's missed you all day long, and all he wants to do now is go to your place and hold you in his arms all night long.
"hi," he says, looking up at you. he can't keep the stupid smile off his face.
"still feeling cold?" you ask, lightly tugging at his beanie. "i can turn on the heat, if you want."
the hesitation comes back. he shakes his head, but if you're sitting this close to him, surely you're not going to make fun of him?
"we had the shoot today."
"so you said, gyu."
"they...made me..."
"do a hundred push-ups?"
mingyu's eyes widen. "you think i can do a hundred push-ups?"
"i don't know, maybe?"
mingyu inhales sharply. "then i'll train to do them for you."
you shake your head and kiss him again. "you can do ten and i'll still be happy. what happened then?"
mingyu deflates. he doesn't look bad, not to himself, but it's just... new. he's not used to having such short hair.
"i got a haircut," he says, tugging off his beanie and closing his eyes, scared of your reaction.
your voice is low when you say, "oh, my god."
mingyu doesn't dare open his eyes. "is that a good thing, or..."
"gyu, sweetheart, do you have any idea how hot you look?"
he opens his eyes to see yours trained on his face, flitting between his lips and his hair. he feels the slightest bit self-conscious. "i kind of feel like an egg."
"then you're the hottest egg i've ever seen. seriously, what made you go for it?"
mingyu shrugs. "it wasn't really my idea."
you frown at him. "what do you mean?"
"they thought it'd suit the comeback theme if i had short hair."
you take his face in your hands. "oh, gyu. i'm sorry. i wish you had a say in it."
he nods. he does wish he had a say in it, but as long as you find it hot, he's fine.
you run a hand through his hair, or what is left of it after the trim, your fingers scratching against his scalp much more clearly than they usually do. it feels good.
"i hate you," you say softly.
mingyu's suddenly worried. "what? why?"
"because i'm going to have to change my lockscreen again. do you have any idea how much time it took me to narrow down a perfect choice from all the 1,082 pictures i have of you?"
mingyu groans. "don't scare me like that, baby. also, you have that many pictures of me?"
"i'd have more if you didn't tour so much."
mingyu can't help the laugh he lets out. you really can cure his day with your words, no matter where you are. he pulls you down for a kiss. "let's have takeout and go home, okay?"
you grin brightly at him. "did you just call my place home?"
he supposes he did. but it's true, isn't it? "of course i did."
#i seriously have no idea why i made the company the villain for his haircut. i feel like i read someone's comment and ran with it#regardless of whether it was true or not#also wow this became MUCH longer than i expected it to#i guess that's what happens when 1) i don't write on tumblr 2) i'm not under any pressure#kim mingyu#seventeen#seventeen fluff#svt#svt fluff#mingyu#fluff#waldau writes#🍃 — svt
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My childhood friend said that my Odysseus looks like a mix of Chappell Roan and Griffith from Berserk and that thought is killing me. It's too correct.
(Lovely doodle of my boy courtesy of the wonderful fellow trashcat @thehelplessmortals :3 )
#Chappell Roan comparison makes me so happy. like yeah. My Odysseus is very much “Pining lesbian coded” after he meets#Penelope in my writing (Not me projecting. shut UP! ALSO THEY'RE DEMI)#like I definitely can hear him being like “WHAT'S IT TAKE TO GET YOUR NUMBER? WHAT'S IT TAKE TO BRING YOU HOME?” from 'Hot to Go'#like the lovesick fool he is to a confused and overwhelmed Penelope#BUT GRIFFITH? IT'S TRUE AND I HATE IT. I WANNA KICK HIM DOWN THE STAIRS.#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#Mad rambles#shot by odysseus#my headcanons#Dootzverse#(feel free to ignore Tal <3 I just wanted to make sure you're credited and I wanted to share my “pain” from this revelation lol)#odysseus#<-I need to curse people with this as well#Mad character design
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re the first three tlovm s3 episode title teaser fr. vex getting [redacted] while standing in front of percy . i will undoubtedly have Thoughts about plot n adaption once the whole season is out but i will say people acting like vex potentially dying again is a betrayal of the arc is . i say this politely. ridiculous. vex’s most common habit aside from haggling and flirting in campaign 1 was being knocked unconscious. she required full ass resurrection spells on four separate occasions. we currently have no idea what the shape of any arc in season 3 will look like beyond broad strokes and teasing shots. if they end up wanting to incorporate the exandrian magic lore of it’s harder to come back each time you die, vex seems like the obvious opportunity to do so. please at the very least save the panic posting for when you actually have something to panic about .
#maybe this is just my ‘that’s my favourite character. i’d love to see them Die’ syndrome#but i see vex get shot i start jumping up and down and clapping. yes . yes#potentially exploring vex’s feelings on dying explicitly in the show whereas laura did it fairly subtly/internally with vex’s choices#in the campaign? i’d love to see it. potentially both vex and percy dying and getting sent to hell by ripley’s cursed gun and getting the#Where Do The People I Kill Go convo earlier?#i Would miss the true loves nat 20 don’t get me wrong. but i also think that moment hits so hard Because of the At A Table-ness of it#part of the moment isn’t just vex pleading with percy. it’s laura appealing to tal’s sense of story. it’s laura managing to break notable#Rare Crier Sam Riegel. it’s the fact that it’s a dice roll and travis encouraging matt to look and matt’s awed ‘i believe it’#and i think dialogue wise there’s some stuff with the speech itself that might not be super well suited as writing choices#versus when it was improv.#idk man i just. i’m big on letting mediums play into what mediums play into. telling the same story in different mediums is nonsensical 2 me#how you meet a story is Part of the story#tlovm spoilers#kind of#critical role
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Tim finally snaps.
“Its not my fault you and Bruce didn't work out! Its yours. Im done being the excuse for all your mistakes, all your misgivings. Im Robin now. And Batman is mine. I was willing to share him with you, I wanted to, because of what you meant to him. But im done jason. I am done.”
#idk what this is#just a little snapshot writing#of a scene#i feel like#tim gets so stepped on#by everyone#and i need him to finally snap#to say#“no. i did nothing wrong. youre the problem. im better”#and walk away#walk away from jason#from dick#its not his fault they cant get along with bruce when he can#bruce isnt easy to love thats true#but he has#he and bruce love each other#and bruce /loves/ him#he knows he does#so its their fault#not his#idk#batfam#batman#tim drake#batman and robin#jason todd#bruce wayne
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you wanted to be a good friend, because you loved your friends, but the truth was that everyone else somehow had a pamphlet on being normal that you never received. most of the time you learn by trial-and-error. you are terrified of the next big mistake you make, because it seems like the rules are completely arbitrary.
you've learned to keep the prickly parts of your personality in a stormcloud under your bed - as if they're a second version of you; one that will make your friends hate you. it feels feral, burning, ugly.
instead, you have assembled habits based on the statistical likelihood of pleasing others. you're a good listener, which is to say - if you do speak up, you might end up saying the wrong thing and scaring off someone, but people tend to like someone-who-listens. or you've got no true desires or goals, because people like it when you're passive, mutable. you're "not easy to fluster" which is to say - your emotions are fundamentally uninteresting to others around you; so you've learned to control them to a degree that you can no longer really feel them happening.
you have long suspected something is wrong with you, but most of the time, googling doesn't help. you are so-used to helping-yourself, alone and with no handbook. the reek of your real self feels more like a horrible joke - you wake up, and, despite all your preparations, suddenly the whole house is full of smoke. the real you is someone waiting to ruin your other-life, the one where you're normal and happy. the real-self is unpredictable, angry.
your real self snarls when people infantilize the whole situation. because if you were really suffering, everyone seems to think you'd be completely unable to cope. but you already learned the rules, so you do know how to cope, and you have fucking been coping. it's not black-and-white. it's not that you are healed during the other times - it's just that you're able to fucking try. and honestly, whenever you show symptoms, it's a really fucking bad sign.
because the symptoms you have are ugly and unmanageable for others. your symptoms aren't waifish white girl things. they're annoying and complicated. they will be the subject of so many pretentious instagram reels. if they cared about you, they'd just show up on time. you care, a lot, so deeply it burns you. you like to picture a world where the comments read if they loved you, they'd never need glasses to see. but since that's a rule you've seen repeated - "one must never be late or you are a bad friend" - you constantly worry about being late and leave agonizingly early. there are no words for how you feel when you're still late; no matter how hard you were trying.
so you have to make up for it. you have to make up for that little horrible real you that you keep locked in a cabinet. you are bad at answering emails so every project you make has to be perfect. you are weird and sensitive so you have to learn to be funny and interesting. you are an inconvenience to others, so you become as smooth as possible, buffing out all the rough parts.
all this. all this. so people can pass their hands over you and just tell you just the once -how good you are. you're a good friend. you're loveable.
#spilled ink#woke up at 530 to write this lmafo#me in a cold sweat:#how do i be normal#edit in the tags:#hey so i've seen y'all talk about like ... wondering if ur ''allowed'' to relate#like if this is about X specific diagnosis#and when i first posted it i really almost labelled it ''please don't assume this is about a specific condition''#because as an artist i am often walking this line of discussing a symptom or discussing my conditions etc#and sometimes yes ! i do want to talk about an experience that is specific to who i am and my condition#but sometimes the effort of the post is about the EXPERIENCE rather than the diagnosis#because yes i am not neurotypical and as a result that influences my work but it is ALSO true that there are many reasons#why someone might experience this particular vague horrible feeling that you are... almost being CHASED by what you ''really'' are.#that you're outrunning your symptoms... that you're not really normal you're just sort of a mockery of a person#.... that's a really isolating and horrible way to feel no matter why you are feeling it. and the nature of this PARTICULAR post is that#it is inherently talking ABOUT that sense of isolation & of feeling not-deserving & of minimizing your own experiences to make urself#palatable for society in a way that others find easy-to-deal-with....#this post is about a certain experience such that my impression is there's a higher likelihood that those who relate#would have more difficulty thinking they ''deserve'' to relate - that it doesn't REALLY belong to them#bc often we are the kind of people who are SO used to being alienated and set aside and ''different'' that we AUTOMATICALLY assume#that things are not ''for'' us... they never have been why would it start now#we are the kinds of people to be ... ''too normal for X diagnosis but too symptomatic to be normal''#[or as this post points out... so good at ''coping''/masking/hiding it that we essentially conform to whatever shape we're poured into]#but i have witnessed others already say in the tags ''thought this was about me but it's about X so it can't be''#and im like ... of course it was about you.#art is not a resource that is diminished by greater appreciation .#you reflect in whatever mirror fits your frame. not just the ones in your bedroom. not just the ones i specifically give you.#there will be - and often are - times that i will talk about my specific conditions... but if you're reading this#regardless of why you're here... we are here together. holding hands through space and time. and i love you for carrying it#and i know you're exhausted. i am too. but i understand. and i see you.
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A little promo with my little obsession on the side...........
Reminder all items are shipped from Poland - for details on shipping times check out FAQ or send me a private message!
mmezzy.bigcartel.com
#klance#halloween au#im projecting on the internet my own impostor syndrome#i feel that im awful and should be learning how to draw instead of writing shitty fics#and when i want to write a post and share a little doodle or smth - 'sorry' is right between the lines and its so frustrating#like???? nobody probably cares#im either here or im not#and if i need to finish that little abomination of a fic then so be it you'd think people wouldnt mind too much#and would still want to listen to my captions and see whatever silly doodle however silly it is as long as its true#..............but what if its all redundant#what if i cant draw after i had to flip my entire routine upside down#and will forever chase a thrill of feeling like a prolific artist and it will be always out of reach now#what if people scroll past my art and feel nothing now#what if world is filled with people who kinda hate klance but stay out of reflex and not bc its their deeply routed source of comfort#what if i reached an artistic plateau and will never be good enough#what if this is the limit of my 'talent'#what if i will forever love the projects i want to share but will always hate the execution of it wanting to fix it fix it fix it learn mor#i keep reading the little notes i get on orders#some screenshots i saved#i find good words and opinions and love letters to art as a whole#and i feel insufficient#subpar#i drew a comic about it to an old poem and still havent finished it#there is a point of trying your best when it stops feeling like a challenge and feels like a failure#its the moment where you keep going of course#and yet#there are emotions im sure nobody shares on social media bc we just try to get through them#but who else will take it better than tumblr tags#either way if im less around its because im dealing with creational self-hatred and artistic ambitions#but on the other hand arent all artists like that? i ran out of tag space btw have an awesome weekend
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Sometimes we edit ourselves to fit what they want us to be. But real connections and true intimacy can not form from edited versions. You have to be the authentic you and they’ll either like you or they won’t, but at least it will be the true you the whole time.
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#authenticity#the true me#like me or not#it is what it is#thoughts#poetry#soulinkpoetry#intimacy#connection#feelings#she writes#poets on tumblr#that’s life#poets corner#writers and poets
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I am always thinking TimJay thoughts related to the fact that they have matching scars from getting their throats slit, and not only that, but Jason slit Tim's throat first in an attempt to threaten Bruce, where Tim was nothing more than a pawn for Jason to use to emotionally manipulate Bruce.
batman (1940) #618
And then, just a little while later when Jason is trying to confront Bruce and do his whole dramatic moment with Joker in UTRH, and Bruce slits Jason's throat to stop Jason from killing the Joker.
batman (1940) #650
It makes me so Unwell. They have literal matching scars. When do you think Jason realizes it? When do you think, while running his fingers over the scar he has to always remind himself that Bruce was willing to jeopardize Jason's own life just to save the Joker, Jason realized it was the same scar *he* gave Tim? And does it click for him too, that he and Tim are a lot alike? Being used as pawns in Bruce's game? And for the first time he maybe understands Tim Drake, just another kid trying to get Bruce's attention and approval? And Jason did to Tim exactly what Bruce did to Jason? And that's part of what spurns on Jason's obsession with Tim, trying to "save" Tim from Bruce's ideology?
When they finally get together does it make Jason even more possessive? He put that mark on Tim and now he has his own to match. It's the closest to being understood and loved he's ever felt when Tim runs his fingers over Jason's scar at the same time Jason touches Tim's. Mirrors of each other, in a fun, fucked up little way.
#jaytim#timjay#batcest#tim drake x jason todd#jason todd x tim drake#necrotic festerings#i would've included the proper panel where the batarang slits jasons throat but i've gotta be so honest with you#i can't fucking take that panel seriously. the art is *so* bad. why does jason's face look like that.#it ruins what should be one of the most important moments in jason and bruce's history. everytime i look at it i either laugh or cry#anyway it makes me unwell that jason scars tim first bc i usually see ppl mix this moment up with the titans tower moment#which would make it post-utrh#but no it's from batman: hush which comes first which is so much more fun for me when it comes to jason coping#like first you have to handle knowing the man you saw as a father bataranged your throat to save the guy who killed you#and then you realized he incidently gave you a scar that now matches the scar you gave the replacement you fucking hate?#i'd also be so unwell about it i'd go beat tim's ass at titans tower.#in my timjay little mind this is the true state of jason's complicated weird feelings about tim#the realization they have the same scar forces him to reevaluate his gut reaction to tim's existence#and thus his spiral into obsession and testing tim then trying to recruit tim begins.#i did in fact post this instead of writing fanfic don't mind it. i'm having a time. i'm also avoiding doing dishes.#i like ships besides timjay i SWEAR they're just on the mind as of recent
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I still can't get over how perfect Time In A Bottle was for the E7 credits. How perfectly it fits with Lilia. The whole theme of time -- wanting to save time, to bottle it up, to control it and make sense of it, while knowing all the while that it's impossible. There never seems to be enough time to do the things you want to do once you find them, because she only realized that she needed her coven and that her life and gift had a meaning beyond running away from death as she was nearing her own end. If I had a box just for wishes and dreams that had never come true, the box would be empty except for the memory of how they were answered by you, because by the end she has no regrets anymore; she has made peace with the death of her first coven, and has found acceptance and community in her new coven. I've looked around enough to know that you're the one I want to go through time with -- she spends the last few hours of her life going through time with and for her coven, in a way the only characters can barely fathom, and I'm 300% sure the clues she gave them are going to save them in the end. How quiet and gentle and wistful the song is, and how quiet and gentle and wistful Lilia's final understanding of her life and her death is. How she falls softly into death's embrace, almost as if she's floating, and she begins again from the first step. If words could make wishes come true, I'd save every day like a treasure, and then again I would spend them with you. I do not have the proper words to convey how all this makes me feel but the more I think about it the harder I sob. Lilia Calderu you will always be in my heart
#i still can't believe i witnessed e7 in all honesty. it feels like a dream#the best thing marvel has ever shared with the world i'm not even joking#it was a true masterclass in character writing and non-linear storytelling and direction and and and#can't believe we actually really got a character like lilia. i should have known because there was no way patti lupone wouldn't have slayed#but still. incredible. i'm still speechless and i will be for a long time#what an amazing show. i could never have predicted how spectacular it would turn out to be#agatha all along#agatha all along spoilers#lilia calderu
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yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.
to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!
i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.
also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.
they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.
they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.
i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.
#eve text#elmike#stranger things#byler#only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol#tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS#god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear#i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable#i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts#elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about#even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike#i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up#the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me#and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing...#the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me#and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin#also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice…#fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK#so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows#i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too???#love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk#tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO...#like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO#stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest#anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul#i need frivolity#ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show
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from here
#this is so fucking important to me#im... so happy about how the manga tackled THIS scene#kingdom hearts#this part of kh3 always felt odd to me tbh#it felt like the writers wanted to do something and just. didnt go all the way#there were ideas and they just didnt fully write them down and put the same amount of effort into them as they did in other places#THIS feels so fucking... emotional. and for what reason?#it's just. sora cares about roxas.#it's just true. he cares about roxas and feels bad about the situation that him and roxas both were put in.#he never found it fair that he got to exist while roxas was told to unalive.#and while the sora writing in khDDD and kh3 definitely told us that#definitely told us that sora DOES NOT like this situation and he would be willing to do anything to bring roxas back#it wasn't this.#this feels like a friend you barely got to know. realising that you had it so rough.#and desperately trying to break down any barriers between you two and grab your wrist#to hold onto you tight and refuse to give up on searching for you and trying to help you out of your darkest places.#sora is so fucking insistent on proving that roxas is not just his nobody.#roxas is roxas.#donald being sorta confused makes complete sense#because he didnt see how roxas fought with every fibre of his being against sora to just try and beat him and prove his right to live#he didnt see sora bearing the weight of roxas' life and feel the betrayals and lies and deception that he barely understood as it was.#to anyone else. roxas probably is just sora's nobody.#sora may very well be the one person who knows that isn't true.
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