#Write the Year 2022

[idontmindifuforgetme]

I genuinely love not having a crush like I’m not over here feeling physically sick over some mid guy being dry to me I’m literally chilling

[violet-moonstone]

I'm deeply fascinated by writing/art/media about relationships (either familial or romantic) that are marked by the scent of decay. Everything is rotting and festering beneath the surface. It's so claustrophobic that it feels like the walls are closing in and everyone's scrambling on top of each other, pulling each other down.

I want to be able to write something that reads like the physical action of clenching your fingers until your nails dig into your palms while you screech against clenched teeth. And all the years of bitten tongues holding back resentment and unsaid words threaten to burst the blood vessels in your forehead, and they never quite do.

Until one day the dam breaks, and the flood is too powerful to be stopped. So onlookers just watch in horrified awe as everything is swept away.

And the rotting house collapses in on itself.

[ilkkawhat]

[kookidough]

analysing vance hopper because he lives in my head 24/7 !

tw for like. literally everything the black phone covers!!!!!!

also there's some special effects gore rather far down in the post idk just i feel like i should warn you just in case

okay so before anyones like "but bee!!!! he only had 6 minutes of screen time in a 102 minute long movie!!!!! he was only on screen for 5.8% of the movie!!!!!" and to that i say i Know it was a real tragedy so a lot of this will be built on personal interpretation and subtext and stuff said behind the scenes and whatnot

so firstly i wanna rot about what his childhood/upbringing might've been like..... i havent quite decided on something definitive but i think we can take one look at his character and realise that is glaringly obvious he had a bad childhood, in one interview the actor that plays him (brady hepner) says "the background i had set up for vance is that the reason he was the way he was is his home life was fairly difficult, you know maybe his dad was either not there for him or he wasn't supportive, maybe he was fairly abusive, and so that creates a hair trigger sense of rage in vance" hair trigger meaning his patience is literally as thin as a strand of hair it does Not take a lot for him to snap

there more to it after that which i'll get into soon but yea thats the gist of it it's clear he had absent/neglectful/abusive parents and that would certainly contribute to why he's so angry all the time, maybe acting so explosive was the only way to get his parents' attention, either good or bad, so he just internalised that. obviously rage and anger issues like vance's lead to violence (not in all cases but in his case it does) and i think a neglectful and abusive upbringing would obviously expose him to more violence than a normal childhood would, therefore normalising it and desensitising him to it, whether he's seeing it play out in his own home and/or on television or something like that (because i doubt his parents would be the kind to monitor what content he's viewing)

i feel like he has little control over his life and that only adds to his anger, which in his case leads to a fight when his buttons are pushed too many times. i think he probably takes great pride in being the toughest in town and whatnot and winning fights and being perceived as strong and scary is good to him and helps him regain control/power, something he doesnt have at home. the rest of the quote from the interview i mentioned earlier states "this pinball machine could have been the only thing that he has in his heart that's like, good, like 'holy cow i did this, i set the score,' so when someone comes along and messes it up for him, it takes away the only thing that he has. i think that that's when he switches to a 'now you're gonna pay for that'"

similar to what i said about fighting, the pinball machine and his high score is something he has control over and its an important part of his reputation/image like. hes literally pinball vance ! and the whole thing about that high score being the "only thing he has in his heart that's good" implies that hes. well. pretty shit at everything else, which is pretty much canon if you remember that gwen said vance was held back twice in school. makes me think that while he's not the brightest in school he's certainly street smart

moving onto ermmmmm him getting kidnapped era because im sure youre wondering "well bee if he's so street smart then why did he get kidnapped" so may i raise two theories (this is. literally all i got and its not even concrete, me and my friend gray (@staggersz) tried to figure out how this could even happen and this is the most plausible thing we've got. so shoutout to him real quick he has had to deal with me being unnormal about vance for like a year and a half thanks king couldnt have done all this without my rotting buddy)

so either he got taken by surprise (most likely option) or vance's trust was gained first via getting given quarters at the pinball machine and small talk and shit like that but this is unlikely because i feel like it'd take a loooooong time for someone like vance to trust a some random stranger adult man when he clearly has issues with trusting and respecting people older than him and people with authority (e.g. cops, his parents, or school officials) so yea being taken by surprise would probably be the most realistic option, i always see people on tiktok being like "how did the grabber kidnap vance hes so strong!!!!" dude its a 15 year old boy against like. a 45 year old man who's already claimed two lives its really not gonna be a fair fight here

before i get into the next part i wanna quickly address a theory i absolutely Hate and it is so easily disproven and that is the theory that vance is the grabber's son or is related to him in some other way and i see it Far too often on tiktok and i HATE it. from what ive seen this all stems from his dream sequence where he kicks open the fence to albert's house and, presumably, goes inside after being dropped off by the police after the grab n go fight. idk if some people just straight up didnt realise this but clearly in real life he is going to his Own House??? in the dream it's only albert's house because this is how he chooses to show gwen the house she's trying to find her brother in, the house that he himself was killed in??? i hate the theory i hate it sm

the dream sequence itself is interesting though as the ghosts seem to only be able to conjure up what theyve seen in real life (like how bruce can picture the outside of the house and show that to gwen but the house number is all flipped and not right beause he doesnt know it) so vance being able to picture the house and the number and the gate and every detail would imply that hes seen it before, but im going to explain that away as either he got out once before like with finney's failed escape attempt, or the house is most likely on the route he walks to school or the grab n go or something and he hasnt actually been there prior to being kidnapped

mini rant over now onto being kidnapped i guess, so i used the missing posters to try and estimate a timeline of how long each ghost boy would've been in the basement for (although the missing posters are notoriously unreliable for details such as looks/height/age/etc, the dates seem to all line up). so we know the order is griffin, billy, vance, bruce, robin, finney, right?? if we use the poster date then billy was taken on may 4th, 1976, a month and two days after griffin was taken (april 2nd 1976). vance was taken on september 23rd 1977, almost a full year later (stay with me im going somewhere with this), and after that bruce was taken on july 18th 1978, again almost a full year later

its established in the movie that the grabber stalks his victims before he takes them (canon because we literally see the van watching finney and gwen as they walk home from school early on in the movie) but we dont know how long he does this for since griffin/billy and robin/finney were taken such short distances apart and then the others were taken such long distances apart, also it's possible he could stalk his next victim while the previous one is still alive, etc etc lots of confusing factors, but if i've done the maths right then the absolute maximum time vance could've spent down there is 9 months and 25 days, or 298 days, so erm . let that sink in !

howeverrrr in the movie gwen states that vance went missing "last spring" and september is definitely not in spring, meaning he could've been down there for a year or even longer. an explanation or excuse i could think of for the movie and the missing poster saying different things (other than the missing posters being known for some areas being wildly inaccurate) is that maybe he was taken in spring but wasnt labelled as officially missing until september, when he was properly linked to griffin and billy's similar disappearances and the mysterious grabber? i can imagine it'd be very easy for law enforcement, especially in the 70s, to dismiss someone like vance as a runaway until they get solid evidence that he was taken. idk though thats just my personal excuse / angsty headcanon for the difference in information

not sure what exactly killed him but we do hear from vance himself that "he took his time with me" so it was probably blood loss from a variety of injuries, if we look at him in his ghost scenes we can see his hair is absolutely covered in blood which indicates head injury, he clearly has a broken nose and bruising around his eyes as a result of it, he has these deep cuts on his abdomen area (apologies for the image quality but i believe they're like. sfx pieces you would wear under clothing)

and he also has just like. minor bruising (like the fingerprints on his arm) and other random blood splatters on his face and neck (assuming the blood down his neck comes from wherever he was bleeding on his head) so Yeah overall very unpleasant way to die obviously

okay now the part thats actually in the movie and it only took me 13 paragraphs to get here: vance as a ghost!! first thing i wanna point out is appearance wise i just want to say that when he's a ghost he's missing his choker and that fact Pains me. anyway personality-wise i feel like being violently murdered has, understandably, kicked his rage up to like. the highest level it could possibly go. he's insanely snarky and downright rude to finney on the phone, showing no empathy to the fact that finney is literally in the exact situation he was in

i feel like the whole "this is the nightmare end of your pathetic little life" and "if you knew what you had coming, you'd be fucking terrified" thing is definitely to scare finney on purpose and to get him to do something, vance might as well have just told him he's never going home cuz thats how it came across LMAOO, it is startling though because vance is clearly speaking from experience, that he was literally fucking terrified, and he is warning finney in his own weird way

the thing i think sets vance apart from the other ghosts is that while he does help finney, he does it for a different reason than they do. the other ghosts want finney to escape, to get out, to be free, to live, but personally i dont think vance cares about that. the only thing he wants is for albert shaw to be dead, for someone to seek vengeance, to do what vance couldn't. vance doesn't care if it's bruce or robin or finney or whatever boy could've come after that, he doesnt care as long as that man gets what he deserves after what he put vance through, and i see this through the scene at the end of vance's call where finney thanks him for his help and vance says, and i quote, "helping you? this isn't about you, fuck him! and apologies for being repetitive but to me it just literally proves that to vance, this isnt about finney or his escape, its just about revenge

we dont get to find out what happens to the ghosts once the credits have rolled, and i dont think we quite know enough about tbp's version of ghosts to guess what theyre up to, but i have a few theories :3 maybe theyre no longer bound to those two houses and they can now go anywhere they want in town? or maybe since their shared goal of stopping albert has been achieved, the ghosts can finally pass on to whatever is waiting for them next. i dont think vance would be content to pass on that quickly or easily as anger lingers, but i hope he'd be able to let go of it eventually, and hey we might find out in the sequel. i pray it mentions him cuz i will just die if it doesnt

sometimes, ok thats a lie, frequently i think about an au where he survived or escaped or whatever but ohhhh boy this post is already a train wreck so that au would deserve its own essay of a post :3 if u actually genuinely read this far then Wtf thanks for reading the ramblings of an absolute madman, only pure delusion could get like 20 paragraphs about a guy with 6 minutes screentime but hey thats how i roll, thanks again to my pal gray for letting me rot and thank u to my other pal ana for also enduring all this rot

hope u enjoyed my interpretation of vance hopper im going to crawl in a hole now and probably brainrot some more, thanks again for ur time :3

[vicsy]

subterfuge

Daniel/Max | 4,7k | explicit | ongoing (chapter 1/2)

Max was an uncomfortable revelation, a sticky situation, an unnecessary distraction. Daniel had been fine and dandy before Max crash landed into his life and threw the course of it out of whack. All there was left for Daniel to do was fish for excuses: he’s seventeen, he’s your teammate, he’s not seventeen anymore but he’s still your teammate, he’s definitely not a virgin but he ruined your career; he’s a guy and you’re dating a woman. He’s everything you could ever want but you’re a coward and he’s still a guy. Or: at the breaking point in his career Daniel decides to stop perpetually hitting the brakes on certain aspects of his life. And on Max. Surely, it's easier said than done. Good thing being a late breaker has always been Daniel's shtick.

second (and last) chapter coming to you soon <3

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

When did the idgihyde students defend idia? I genuinely don’t remember anything about this

[Referencing this post!]

I didn’t remember myself at first, but the original asker (@asteampvnk) clarified for me! dbjssvkskww And what do you know, it’s from a New Year’s event… which I typically fast forward through the dialogue for since I find them largely uninteresting and not rich with lore 💀 so yeah, it totally slipped my mind!

More specifically, the occurrence being referred to takes place in 2022 (JP) Sam’s New Year Sale event. Each dorm gets a day where they come in and try their luck at pulling a highly coveted ticket (that can be traded for any item at the Mystery Shop) from Sam’s popular Mystery Bags.

On Ignihyde’s day, Idia buys the last Mystery Bag available and this causes the other students waiting in line to get aggressive. The mobs (an Octavinelle and Diasomnia one) try to forcibly take the last Mystery Bag from him, but the Ignihyde students notice that Idia and his brother are in trouble and the Igni mobs have dialogue along the lines of, “Let’s help the dorm leader and Ortho!”

[courfee]

yes i used that dean scene as a reference, sue me

[snowysaur]

2024 year in review/art summary. i realized i never made these for 2021-23 either so here's all of them. i think i haven't been drawing as much these past few years, oh well support me on: patreon | kofi | redbubble

[whattheskyknows]

Can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I've just finished writing the final chapter of Galaxy Masquerade???

[cookiesandbiscuits]

Now Playing: Falling in Love

[Leviathan - Maybe, Just Maybe]

Pairing: Leviathan x GN!Reader

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Who would've thought Leviathan will find such connection with someone one day? Certainly not him.

A/N: Mmmmm the third installment is here!! ✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧

Ngl, I kinda struggled writing this despite considering myself a Levi kinnie 😭

Special mentions to my moots who likes Levi, @cloudcountry, @officialdaydreamer00 and @amberheavendremurr. I hope you guys like this :D

Now Playing: Falling in Love playlist

MASTERLIST

"I'm afraid of the things in my brain,

But we can stay here and laugh away the fears."

Levi finds you odd.

Sure, you were strange for a human, but what he's weirded out the most was the fact that you've been hanging out with him a lot.

Not that it's a bad thing. In fact, he now surprisingly enjoys your presence compared to when you two first met.

He just finds it odd that out of the seven demons you were living with, you chose to stick with him. After all, he's not as cool as Lucifer, as charismatic as Asmo, as smart as Satan and Belphie, or as friendly as Beel. Heck, even Mammon has more social charm than he is, despite being a scumbag.

So why in the three worlds are you here, choosing him, instead of them?

Maybe you just find a weird otaku like him fascinating?

Yes, that's probably it, the voice in his head says. It's just a one-time fixation and your attention will soon divert to something else once you've scratched your curiosity.

.

.

.

"What?"

You gave him a confused look, the video game you were playing completely forgotten. He absent-mindedly asked the question while the two of you were in the middle of gaming.

"I- uh..."

He already asked, so he might as well...

"I-I'm just curious... I'm not as interesting as my brothers, and my interests can be hard to understand sometimes, so... why do you hang out with me so much?"

Silence filled the space between you, and every second of it filled him with dread.

"Levi."

Your soft voice broke the tense quietness.

"Y-yes?"

"Look at me... please?"

It took a while before he turned to look at you, although he still struggled to look you in the eyes.

"Levi, I don't think you're uninteresting compared to your brothers. In fact, you're far from it."

You reached out to take his hand, but not before looking back to him. When he didn't move, you took it as a sign and placed your hand on top of his. You continued.

"You are the most creative and passionate person I have ever met in my life. Sure, I may not understand the things that you're into sometimes, but I love hearing you talk about them. Because that means I get to know you more, even if just a little bit."

"...Y-you're just saying that to be nice, aren't you?"

Please, don't get my hopes up any longer if you don't really mean it.

You shook your head.

"Levi, I meant everything I said. So please believe me when I say that you are just as wonderful as your brothers. And even though you don't, I will be here to tell you how amazing you are," you say, gently squeezing his hand.

Finally, he took the courage to look you in the eyes, searching for any hints of insincerity. There were none.

And as he continued to stare, a new voice in his mind spoke.

Maybe, just maybe... he could believe you, even if just a little bit.

[shih-coulda-had-it]

I know toshinoris and grans relationship is....complicated to say the least (and yes, perhaps a family/father-son dynamic for them is a bit fanon lol) but do you think they have ever shared a more..parental moment between the two?? 👀

definitely not asking this bc i'm lowkey fascinated about their relationship, and love your animatic for them, and get all 🥺 looking at the panels of gran watching armored might fight or of toshi helping him, and-

i wrote you about 2.4k words ft. that time Gran Torino took his friend's teenaged successor to a deserted island and scared the living memory out of him. thank you for being captivated by their relationship ; u;)/

[reki-of-the-valley]

Sweet as Sugar

It’s actually quite simple: the icing glues the whole things together and makes the house stand. The process of building a gingerbread house is pretty basic, really; it’s definitely a thousand times simpler than the complex boards Reki has built and perfected over the years. It’s so easy, and yet, he still can’t manage to make his little house hold together. Every time he tries to put two walls together, they just collapse over each other. And he’s tried putting more icing, less icing; he’s tried it all and still he fails. And in the odd event that he does manage to get two walls to hold up, the third one makes everything tumble over, leaving Reki groaning in annoyance. 

“I don’t see what’s the big deal with getting everything to hold. We’re gonna destroy is anyway.”

Reki side-eyes Langa as the boys pulls a chair next to him. He has to slap his hand away from the bowl of chocolate before he finishes it. Again. He’s already emptied two bowls of chocolate chips, and at this rate, there won’t be any left when comes time to actually decorate the gingerbread house.

It had been a mistake to bring out the cany decorations before they were needed. He now knows he should have left them sealed, stashed away from Langa, but it’s too late now. Even if Reki were to put them away, Langa knows of their existence. It would only be a matter of minutes before he’d find the open bags of sweets. And no matter what anyone said, Langa is anything but an airhead. That boy is sharp when he wants to be, and when he wants something, he will get it, no matter the cost. Anyway, Reki isn’t in the mood to fight with a sugar fiend or deal with a pouting 18-year-old.

“We are not going to destroy it, as you say.” He huffs as he narrows his eyes onto Langa, slapping his hand away yet again. “And isn’t this like a Canadian thing or something? Didn’t you make gingerbread houses as a kid?”

Langa shrugs as he drops a pinch of colorful sprinkles in his mouth. Reki sighs as he watches him, not bothering to stop him from the house’s eventual decorations; he’ll have to content himself with decorating it with only icing, it seems.

“The most we did were the gingerbread men. Never actually made a house. My mom always insisted we decorate them as a fun family activity, but my dad preferred them without the icing and as soon as I was in front of the cookies, I’d forget I was supposed to decorate them. So I’d end up just eating them like that and my mom gave up after a few years. So we didn’t really…”

Langa gestures at the mess of collapsed walls as he sticks of the tiny candy canes Reki had found at a market a few weeks ago. He seems so unbothered, but Reki is determined, a smile spreading across his cheeks.

“You’re a menace, dude.” He nudges Langa, causing him to drop a few of the sprinkles he had snatched yet again. “C’mon! Help me with this! It’ll be fun, I promise!”

Langa’s smile mirrors Reki’s as he leans into him. It’s instinctual, the intertwining of fingers under the table; they know they don’t have to hide their affection, but it’s become a habit. After months of having done it, it just feels natural there. It feels natural to pull Langa’s hand onto his lap. And with Langa this close, Reki can’t help but grin as that pretty smile is pressed to his cheek. He can’t help the giggles that break form his lips as Langa whispers into his skin.

“Anything with you is fun, Reki. You make everything fun.”

“Only because you’re also there.”

Both burst out laughing, foreheads pressed together. They giggle together, their noses brushing against one another. They smile at one another, smiles that are impossible to hide or supress – Reki knows that no matter what happens, even if their project is a complete failure, they’ll have enjoyed themselves trying. And just like the walls of the house Reki had tried building, the pair break down, laughing that uncontrollable laughter, that laughter caused by nothing more than a glance. They laugh until it’s hard to breathe, the air between them too heavy. An when it gets heavy like that, silence falls. Silence falls as does Reki.

“Reki?”

Reki hums, his eyes having fallen shut. He never really can keep his eyes open around Langa, not when they’re this close. He likes falling into a world of fantasies, one where he can kiss Langa without any worries. He likes that world where nothing really matters, nothing except the one he loves. He likes falling into that world, a world he finds against Langa’s lips.

“Reki.”

Reki sighs, but his eyes stay shut. He doesn’t want to leave this dreamland, not before he’s gotten his kiss. And with the pad of Langa’s thumb pressed to his bottom lip, Reki can’t help but want that kiss even more.

It feels so close; it feels like it’s right there. It’s not a kiss yet, but with Langa’s warm breath on Reki’s lips, it’s only a matter of moments before the distance is closed. It’s a matter of moments before he can feel those lips against his, the ocean of love crashing against him. It’s only a matter of moments before the tide washes him ashore, finding his paradise.

“Reki…”

Finally. Finally, a kiss. It’s chaste, nothing more than a quick peck to the lips, but it’s a kiss nonetheless. It’s a kiss and Reki is more than happy about it. He’s so happy as love spills against his lips, love like and overflowing, ever-flowing fountain. It tastes like their first kiss, the warmth of Langa’s breath, the cool of his lips. It tastes like their first kiss, quick but sweet. And as Langa presses another kiss to Reki’s lips, a kiss that lasts longer this time as he moves even closer, their knees bumping together under the table, it feels like time has slowed around them. When it’s just them, everything fades. When it’s just them, all that remains is the love that unites them.

“Reki?”

His eyes finally flutter open to find the ocean-blue of Langa’s eyes. Waves of emotion play in those eyes he loves so much, color that glistens under the kitchen lights. Langa really is the prettiest boy Reki has ever laid his eyes on; who could possibly be prettier than the boy in blue who saves his look of adoration just for Reki? Who could ever feel more like home than him?

“Reki? Don’t we have a house to build?”

“Our home.”

Langa’s breath hitches as Reki pulls him close, closing the distance with another kiss. Home is found in those lips. Home is found in those eyes that grow wide before being squeezed shut. Home is that skin that’s always so soft. Home is that silky hair that slips between Reki’s fingers. Home is Langa, all that he is and all that he will be.

“We’ll build a home.”

“A home as sweet as you, my Love. A home I’ll love more than even those sweets you refuse to let me eat. A home where everyone will know that I love you and only you.”

“A home where all I’ll do is love you. Because it’s you. You’re my home, Langa. You’re my home and I love you. And I promise to love you infinitely.”

One last kiss. One last kiss to seal the promise. One last kiss before more giggles break them apart. One last kiss before they turn back to their project: building a home out of gingerbread.

[yourdeepestfathoms]

Perrine-Centric Whumptober Fic Plots

these are all super vague so as to not give the whole thing away, and a few of them are TBA because i’m having trouble coming up with stuff. i’m also not including which of the prompts for each day i’ve picked, just the general idea of what the fic will be!

also these can change if i get a different idea!

Day 1- Hypothermia

Day 2- Convo with the Croon

Day 3- Home invasion

Day 4- Fever and delirium

Day 5- Heatstroke

Day 6- TBA

Day 7- Horror

Day 8- All the kids are sick, but Perrine still takes care of the others

Day 9- Fist fight

Day 10- Concussion

Day 11- Loneliness

Day 12- Inferiority and jealousy

Day 13- Sickfic

Day 14- Impalement

Day 15- Burn

Day 16- Sliced open hand

Day 17- Bear trap

Day 18- TBA

Day 19- Perrine gets jumped by a boar

Day 20- Childhood trauma

Day 21- Lycanthropy

Day 22- Tearing open healing wounds

Day 23- Pneumonia

Day 24- TBA

Day 25- Sprained ankle

Day 26- TBA

Day 27- Kidney stones

Day 28- Argument with the Croon

Day 29- Exhaustion

Day 30- Poison ivy

Day 31- Migraine

[percivalias]

12 whole years of Holiday Kitties, all in one place!

[aloneholy]

reading and writing again…. need to manifest this becoming consistent may 2025 be the most creatively lush and intellectually fun year since 2022. please.

[bitegore]

okay i am actually writing the Experimentalist First Aid metapost right now.

Beginning statement and caveats - I have no reason to believe this is canon and basically don't, except that I like it better. However, it literally would be indistinguishable from canon for the most part for various reasons outlined below, so like, you can't prove it's not. Canon compliant canon divergent headcanon territory.

Also, this is about G1.

I think First Aid is many things.

First Aid is a big giant fucking baby and he has the experience of someone who has been alive for Ten Total Minutes. First Aid is not old enough to have properly-tuned self-preservation instincts or an understanding of what will and will not be able to kill him. Unlike everyone else, he handles this by being a giant soft baby (affectionate) and going "I don't want to go fuck around with things that can kill me" and hangs out inside, where he gets his fill of Necessary Exciting Stuff(tm) with Ratchet and the other Autobots. However, he's still got the ravenous desire for Experiences, and this turns into

He fucking loves learning. he loves learning so much. He doesn't want to get hurt but he wants to know everything. Sometimes he needs to go out and do stupid things for that, but he'd rather learn from someone else's experiences first.

He is a medic. He likes to help people, but he likes to help people by taking them apart and getting elbow-deep inside of them and rearranging things, which is usually the kind of thing that human people get squeamish about. Even granting that Transformers are not as squeamish or flinchy about gore as humans are, being the person who gets to watch their friends get grievously injured and then stick your hands in there and mess around with the wound is pretty heavy for some (most!) people! But I think it would be a strange reading to say that First Aid doesn't like to be a medic, so this clearly doesn't bother him the way it might bother someone else. He doesn't like when his friends are injured, but the actual process of surgery - cutting them open or digging into a wound to clean it out, that sort of thing - isn't a problem for him, which leads into

Even by TF standards, First Aid is remarkably unfazed by injuries, gore, and insides-currently-outside than someone else his age would probably be. And that means I can get away with the next few parts...

I read First Aid as a sadist. In the autonomous, just-kind-of-happens sort of way, not the "I'm going to menace you" sort of way people sometimes interpret that statement. People get hurt in front of First Aid and he finds himself fascinated by the injury and immediately concerned with fussing over them in particular, partially because it's his job to pay attention to the wound and partially because there's something about pain and injuries that fascinates him beyond the confines of his job.

First Aid also likes his job, and he likes doing a good job, which means he's not aout to just start banging anyone up to hurt them for the hell of it because his job is to fix them. I don't even imagine sadism is particularly uncommon among doctors, because frankly it only makes sense to me that the characters literally hardwired to cut people open might have something making it so they don't feel bad when they cut someone open. Which would mean it has to be easy for them to maintain an Autobot standard of professionalism, which doesn't really prohibit being buddies with your patients (see: Ratchet) or, like, certain human standards of care around privacy and freedom from experimentation, but does broadly prohibit being needlessly cruel to your patients in a way they themselves aren't on board with. So this doesn't interfere with his job at all, basically; it's just some extra thing he has on the side for the most part.

First Aid is a big giant fucking baby and he has the experience of someone who has been alive for Ten Total Minutes. First Aid is not old enough to have properly-tuned self-preservation instincts or an understanding of what will and will not be able to kill him. Unlike everyone else, he handles this by being a giant soft baby (affectionate) and going "I don't want to go fuck around with things that can kill me" and hangs out inside, where he gets his fill of Necessary Exciting Stuff(tm) with Ratchet and the other Autobots. However, he's still got the ravenous desire for Experiences, and this turns into

He fucking loves learning. he loves learning so much. He doesn't want to get hurt but he wants to know everything. Sometimes he needs to go out and do stupid things for that, but he'd rather learn from someone else's experiences first.

He is a medic. He likes to help people, but he likes to help people by taking them apart and getting elbow-deep inside of them and rearranging thigns, which is usually the kind of thing that human people get squeamish about. Even granting that Transformers are not as squeamish or flinchy about gore as humans are, being the person who gets to watch their friends get grievously injured and then stick your hands in there and mess around with the wound is pretty heavy for some (most!) people! But I think it would be a strange reading to say that First Aid doesn't like to be a medic, so this clearly doesn't bother him the way it might bother someone else. He doesn't like when his friends are injured, but the actual process of surgery - cutting them open or digging into a wound to clean it out, that sort of thing - isn't a problem for him, which leads into

Even by TF standards, First Aid is remarkably unfazed by injuries, gore, and insides-currently-outside than someone else his age would probably be. And that means I can get away with the next few parts...

I read First Aid as a sadist. In the autonomous, just-kind-of-happens sort of way, not the "I'm going to menace you" sort of way people sometimes interpret that statement. People get hurt in front of First Aid and he finds himself fascinated by the injury and immediately concerned with fussing over them in particular, partially because it's his job to pay attention to the wound and partially because there's something about pain and injuries that fascinates him beyond the confines of his job.

First Aid also likes his job, and he likes doing a good job, which means he's not aout to just start banging anyone up to hurt them for the hell of it because his job is to fix them. I don't even imagine sadism is particularly uncommon among doctors, because frankly it only makes sense to me that the characters literally hardwired to cut people open might have something making it so they don't feel bad when they cut someone open. Which would mean it has to be easy for them to maintain an Autobot standard of professionalism, which doesn't really prohibit being buddies with your patients (see: Ratchet) or, like, certain human standards of care around privacy and freedom from experimentation, but does broadly prohibit being needlessly cruel to your patients in a way they themselves aren't on board with. So this doesn't interfere with his job at all, basically; it's just some extra thing he has on the side for the most part.

I think that's all the requisite readings.

In sum, this gives us a guy who relaly likes being around people in pain, who also likes being the guy to help them out of it, and likes to learn. He's encouraged to do all of these things by the people around him, because he's not being concerning about any of it- he's just dedicated to what he does and he's good at it, and getting better every day.

And by the same tokens, you have a guy who really, really badly wants to get to take someone apart over and over, because he wants to see how they work on the insides and he likes the way they look when they're in pain, but he doesn't want to fuck over his friends, comrades, patients, or teammates, and everyone he's interacting with is at least three of those things.

Plus we get G1 First Aid's pacifism, which is a strongly-held ideological standpoint that First Aid maintains - he won't fight, he won't carry weapons, but he will work as a medic. We can interpret that this isn't a squeamishness issue for him by the asme tokens I established earlier - that he's much more okay with getting into the guts of his friends and coworkers than the average person would be - and also by the fact that he was built in a military context and everyone else is a military fighter of some sort. if he were reluctant to hurt people because of anything shy of serious personal convictions, I am convinced that the Autobots around him could have convinced him otherwise. His position is profoundly difficult to maintain in an active war zone, aftr all.

So even beyond standard Autobot ethics, First Aid does not want to hurt people. Yet I reconcile this with saying he is an innate sadist anyway, because they're not mutually exclusive. It really just means that, like, First Aid can want to take people apart all he likes; he's just not going to do it to anyone until someone asks him to.

As an aside, in my corner of fandom anyway, it seems like we talk a lot about characters who kind of throw interpersonal concerns and care for those around them to the wind in order to chase their own hedonistic desires (see: Vortex, Overlord, Motormaster, Megatron, etc) or otherwise, put bluntly, just kind of don't care that much about their partners' and playthings' consent even when they have it. And that can be a lot of fun, obviously; I like them. But as of late my friends who shoot the shit with me about consensual kink in Transformers have been busy or we haven't been talking about it for a while, and I've been missing the other side - the exact same desires and interests, just harnessed, controlled, and managed, not because First Aid has to but because he just, like... feels like it. It's what he wants to do. And, like. yeah the Autobots wouldn't be pleased if he turned out to be some sort of turborapist, lol, but he's the first person to decide he's not going to run around doing harm. I tie it into the pacifism. Part of this reading is because this is my reading; part of this reading is because I want to insert even more contrast between the characters I see First Aid Aid played alongside than I'm already seeing when I finally sit down and write about him myself.

So what this boils down to - all together - is that First Aid wants someone to ask him to take them apart.

And he likes to learn.

So the first person to catch his attention and walk him through opening their chest up is going to get to see him catch his brain on every shiny new edge he's not used to seeing outside of a medical context, and he's going to go over and catalogue every single part and take them out and put them back in and he's going to do it over and over until he can do it without looking and then he's going to do that to everything else, too. He's going to pick up every style of play fast and hard, but I read him landing hard on the "roleplay is kind of silly, I like bodies" side of domination. And I think he'd enjoy domination a lot.

He's a good student and a quick study. He likes to learn. He's enthusiastic and comfortable being taught, too. It would be very easy to turn him into a service top, too, to talk him into being an extension of your own hands and guide him through doing what you want.

But only to a point. Because he's still a pacifist, so you can't use him to hurt someone else, unless they're also asking for it. But, hell, he's part of a combiner team... I bet that would come easy to him, too, once he does have everyone's consent.

In a few thousand years, I think First Aid is going to maybe be one of the biggest kinksters in the entire Autobot faction, or he's going to have extremely narrow and extremely specific tastes. But he's going to get there through experimentation and he's going to get there through his fascination with anything new, which right now is everything.

Last bit is that - I think his instincts are not fine-tuned, self-preservation-wise. I think his social instincts are just as bad. you develop those over time, after all, and through experience, and he doesn't have that. And he's a pacifist because he doesn't want to hurt Decepticons. Very sweet, certainly, but the Decepticons are like... kind of dicks lmfao. The way of things is not very complicated because there are so few Transformers around and alive; eventually First Aid is going to run into a Decepticon. The question is if he ever ends up on good terms with someone from the other faction - or if he already has - or if he gets himself hurt early and learns to avoid them fast. But even with the latter, I don't think that's how he'll stay. I think he wants to experiment. I think he wants to learn and do more and learn more. So eventually he will run into a Decepticon who is also willing to play the way he's willing to play, and they will end up making, if not friends, then at least some sort of positive interaction and First Aid will...

...well, he's never going to stop being curious, huh. That would be boring. But his morals and standards for his behavior are either going to stay ironclad or they won't, and either way it'll be interesting to see what happens. Because there's no bottom to where First Aid might go, eventually.. as long as he's being asked for it.