#Woo! Card tricks everybody!

[pianokantzart]

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[7-wonders]

Hints of Kindness

Summary: With Duncan, it seems to be one step forward and two steps back.

Other works in the Beauty and the Beast!Duncan Shepherd AU: Wilted Roses Smell Just as Sweet | This Place of Wrath and Tears | A Gentleman’s Guide to Wooing Your Prisoner | This Cruel Trick of Fate | Down the Rabbit Hole

When you wake up the next morning, soft sunlight streams through the windows, the rain having subsided sometime in the night. Sitting up, you note that all fingers and toes are in tact and moving as they’re meant to move. The only question that you have is where the creature that rescued you last night went?

“You’re awake.” You look in the direction of the door instinctually, feeling stupid when you see that there’s no physical form there. “How are you feeling?”

“Um, pretty good. I still have all my extremities.” You show her your fingers to demonstrate, and she chuckles warmly. Suddenly, you miss your mom.

“There’s a warm bath waiting for you upstairs, if you’re wanting to wash up.” A bath does sound really good right now. You pull a blanket around you like a cloak, extremely aware of your nudity, and smile at the voice.

“Thank you...”

“That’s right, we haven’t met before! I’m Cordelia. I oversee everything that keeps this place running.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Cordelia.” Glancing around subtly, you can’t find any sign of Shepherd lurking around. “He’s not here. He went back to his quarters at around sunrise, when he was sure that you were going to be okay.”

Your cheeks go hot, and you bite your lip in embarrassment. “I--uh...” clasping the blanket tightly, you stand up and start walking towards the bathroom to escape this awkward situation. “Thank you for the bath, Cordelia.”

“Come back down once you’re ready and we’ll have breakfast ready.”

Not to be dramatic, but you’re pretty sure this is the best bath that you’ve ever taken. The tub is huge, and there’s all sorts of bubbles for you to put in. You could stay in here all day, and you almost do before the rumbling of your stomach overpowers your desire to doze in a bath. Begrudgingly, you climb out and towel yourself off.

The closet, which you had bypassed in search of extra blankets the night before, is fully stocked. The clothes fit for the chilly weather, thankfully, and you pull on jeans and a Patagonia pullover. Your hair is still wet, but the manor is warm enough that you don’t worry about it taking much longer to air dry.

You start to maneuver down the numerous hallways that remind you of a labyrinth, hoping that you’ll be able to make it back downstairs. Rounding a corner, you see a flash of dark hair disappear down another hallway. Considering everybody else in this place is invisible, there’s only one person (thing? creature?) it could be.

“Hey!” you call, picking up the pace to try and reach him. Although he acts like he didn’t hear you, you continue to be persistent. “I can see you, y’know. And I know it’s you since you’re the only other visible person in this place.”

“What do you want?” he asks gruffly. He’s not in the hallway when you reach it, but his voice sounds close enough that you assume he’s taking refuge in one of the rooms in said hallway. Ironic, considering you saw what he looked like last night.

“I just wanted to say thank you, for saving me last night.”

“Just make sure you don’t try anything that stupid again, or else I might not be so heroic.”

Your blood boils at the audacity of this man, and you see red for a second. “What the fuck is your problem?”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” Dealing with Jim through the highs and lows of his addiction has taught you how to be extremely blunt, which is proving helpful now. “You would think that, since you’re apparently the reason everybody’s stuck here, you would get off of your pretentious high horse!”

“Who told you that I was the reason for this?”

“Nobody, I just made the assumption based on the hatred that everybody here has for you. I get it, you’re upset that life gave you these cards. But you have to realize everybody else around you is going through this too, and try to find some sort of camaraderie in that instead of moping around and acting like you’re the king of the castle. I’m sure, based on the size of this house, that you were raised to think you’re special. In this case, you’re not.”

He’s silent, and you can’t tell if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Not wanting to stick around to find out, you turn to leave.

Your name being called behind you stops you from leaving.

“You’re right, and I’m sorry. I...dealing with this hasn’t been easy, and I won’t lie that I’ve taken it out on those around me. It’s not like they cared for me much before, anyways.”

“I don’t know how or why you ended up like this, but that’s the past. Maybe, if you reached out to them and showed a little kindness, you’d find that they care for you more than you think.”

After you leave to go downstairs, Duncan lets out a deep breath. His heart is pounding out of his chest, but not from rage. He feels jittery, like he’s had a bunch of coffee. Never has anybody spoke to Duncan like that, and he has to admit to himself that the fire you hold within you is, frankly, quite hot. Did he get through to you, only for his boneheaded actions to set him a step back? Regardless, Duncan’s starting to warm up to the challenge of falling in love with you, and vice versa. 

[aliceaddellheidde]

April

A/N: I don’t know what this is. I'm tired. Is it good?

WORDS: 1040

WARNINGS: swearing, angst, fluff

PAIRING: Loki x reader

DISCLAIMERS: English isn´t my first language so sorry for mistakes.

Gif from here

You were in team for over year and everybody loved her. Well, maybe one certain god didn't. At least he was polite to you. But his behaviour didn't stop you from being yourself around him, even when he looked pissed sometimes. Your were always laughing, joking and occasionally hugging your teammates.

In the morning first day of April you woke up early and went shopping with gold credit card from Tony. He had no idea about your plans. You bought almost all green decorations you could find, ingredients for cake, balloons and other stuff you needed for party later that day.

You were mixing cake dough in a bowl when Loki came in the kitchen. „Hi Lucky!” you smiled at him. He rolled his eyes, cup of hot tea in hand. „That's not my name mortal.” he said coldly. „I know.” you laughed. „It´s nickname. Wanna taste?” You pointed at bowl. „No.” And like that he disappeared in green mist.

„Still trying to woo your crush, I see.” said voice from behind you. „Yes Bucky. Got a problem with that?” You turned to him with deadly glare. „A little bit. You're chasing him for how long? Six months? And no progress. I don’t think he's worth it doll.” He shrugged. „Thanks, but no thanks. I already know that Buck. I just can´t help it. I can´t be like you and Steve.” „Why not? Grab him and tell him that you like him face to face. Like I did to Steve.” „You mean when you grabbed Steve by the collar, kissed him and said there is more if he will come back after returning all stones? And threatened to ruin his life if he would stay in the past?” You asked him with lifted eyebrows. „I don’t know what are you talking about.” he laughed. „I only kissed him.” „But I can´t do that! He will turn me into frog or something.” „Don´t think so. What are you doing anyway?” „Cake for party later.” „Any special occasion?” „Frosty´s birthday.” „Why did I asked?” he rolled his eyes. „Because you're great friend.” „You need help?” „Yes please! And can you call other as well?”

Common room was decorated in gold and green. Classical music playing silently in the background. Cake ready at the table. Your friends sitting on the sofa watching tv. „I'm gonna get him.” You happily skipped down the corridor to Loki´s room and energetically knocked on his door. „Lokiiiii! Ohhhh Lokiiii!” you called. „I know you're there. I need to talk to you.” The door opened after your third knocking. „What do you want mortal?” „Come with me.” He sighed when you were dragging him to the others.

„Close you eyes now.” „No.” „Please.” „No.” „Ok then.” You pushed him behind the corner and golden confetti fell from the ceiling and everybody was screaming happy birthday. Loki stood frozen on spot for a minute. „What is this?” „It´s your birthday party! I don’t know when you have birthday and on Earth  we have April fools day when you're doing pranks. And you love that so I thought … .” You stopped talking when you saw his face. He was furious. „You think I´m a fool?” he spatted. „What? Of course not!” „Then this pathetic masquerade can end, right?” Your heart broke from his angry staring. „I … I guess.” He nodded and turned to leave. After few steps he faded with ding of elevator.

„Ha! Gotcha peasants!” said a well-known voice. You all turned that direction and saw prince of Asgard standing there in all his glory with cheeky smirk. Your friends gave him dirty looks and his smirk fell. „We having party?” he tried to joke. You ran away with teary eyes and Thor caught Loki by the neck. „What did you do brother?!” Loki was now unsure and small under the eyes of whole team. „It´s jokes and pranks day today! I pranked you!” Thor growled, but let go of him. Loki cleared his throat and fixed hi coat. „I'll be in my room. Enjoy your party.” He wanted to go, but Bucky put hand on his chest. „You know, Y/N made this for you and you hurt her. At least go and tell her you're sorry.” Loki blushed. „She did? Why?” „Ask yourself.”

Loki knocked on your door. „Go away.” Instead he let himself in. „Fuck off! You don’t know what privacy is?” You threw one of your plushies on him. „I came to say sorry.” „I don’t care.” „I think you do. Same as you care when you made party for me. Care to elaborate why?” „No.” you murmured into pillow. He sat next to you with a sight. You were watching him for a moment, still sniffing. „It´s a fools day. I thought I can throw you birthday party since I don’t know when your official b-day is. And what's the better day then day full of pranks and tricks for trickster, right?” „Yeah.” Another awkward silence. „I messed it up. Sorry.” „It´s fine Loki. I should have you don’t … .” „I want to kiss you.” he interrupted you. „Sorry, what?” You both were red as tomatoes. „You're … cute. Yes. You're cute. And I want to kiss you.” „Is it a prank?” „No. It´s my fear from my brother if I´ll not do something about my crush.” „I'm your crush?” you smiled. „Yes.” „Crazy. How about you can have a kiss after proper apology?” He then started rambling about everything he did to you and you had to stop him. His lips were cold, yet soft and his hands strong on your waist. „Am I pardoned?” „Not completely. It will takes time.” He laughed and kissed you again. „Want to go back to party Love?” You blushed even more after his nickname. „You bet Lucky. I made you a cake and you better eat the biggest piece. It´s matcha green tea and mint cake.” „Sounds yummy.” He took you by hand and pulled you out of the bed. „I ruined my dress and make up.” By one move of his hand it was back to normal. „Thanks.” Together you went back to your friends and you were celebrating until next day´s morning.

[rhinozilla]

I’m not done thinking about Scott/Jimmy.

Scott was under house arrest for two years. So for two years, he was stuck at home trying to keep himself from going stir crazy, and essentially only seeing the same handful of people (Cassie, Maggie, Paxton, Luis, and Agent Jimmy Woo). He formed a routine and learned all the ins and outs and limits of his house and his ankle monitor. His world, ahem, shrunk.

Then, like whiplash, he essentially went from zero to a hundred, between the events of Antman and the Wasp, being lost in the chaos of the quantum realm for five years, and coming back just in time for the events of Endgame to kick off. He wasn’t blipped, so I have to imagine he was conscious on some level during that passage of time. Now he comes back to find the world changed, his friends changed, and that he’s had five years of time with his daughter stolen from him.

After the dust settles after the events of Endgame, and everybody has a moment to catch their breath, it all really sinks in for him. His house is no longer his, and who knows what shape it’s in since it was ‘abandoned.’ His friends/family that blipped are traumatized, and his friends/family that didn’t blip are traumatized, and a lot of them start looking at him like “Hey, you’re an Avenger. You have some answers, right? You were there in the middle of it, right?” And it’s a lot for everybody, and everybody is trying to adjust to this new normal all over again.

So Scott gravitates back toward that old house arrest routine. His house isn’t his anymore, all of his stuff is gone, and nothing is the same, but he tries. He messes around on his drumset game at his new place. He relearns some of those old card tricks and takes up some new ones. He goes bowling. And eventually he calls up Jimmy Woo.

[lovecanbesostrange]

Somebody needs to come and make me stop watching WandaVision? A new episode? Yeah, let me watch that. Okay, I think I need to watch it again immediately. And now I just watch all the episodes again... damn, wasn’t this obsessed in a long time. We Interrupt this Program had me so giddy for the most part...

Let’s get this over with. Killing Maria Rambeau off-screen was dumb. I know a lot of people don’t understand how filming productions work, but I do believe most people would’ve understood why Maria couldn’t be there in person. It would’ve been fine. Monica waking up in the hospital after the Blip was perfect. Good spot for massive confusion. And it would’ve been okay to find out that Maria had battled cancer. And then just tell me that she beat the thing, but overall stepped down from her position for health reasons yaddayaddablahblah.

I looooooooooove that she founded S.W.O.R.D. Previously my biggest headcanon (that I will cling to until absolutely proven otherwise) was that Maria stayed in contact with Fury and even without officially joining S.H.I.E.L.D. helped out, including training pilots, since she had amazing first hand experience and thus meeting Melinda May and teaching her specifically a few tricks. Anyway of course Maria did more and thanks, Ma’am, S.W.O.R.D. is great (when can I meet Abigail Brand, please??). 

It was okay how they shifted the focus in this one sentence that they care more about tech etc now. So from World to Weapon, I can live with that. And well, at least we got a sentence in that Maria did believe everybody would come back one day........ ugh... killing her.... way too stupid a decision. I will also firmly believe now that she met Peggy and they toasted each other for creating something huge.

Anyway apart from that colossal mistake it was a great trip. They still need to adress how many people died when re-entering life. It’s nice enough everybody appeared relative to their position, accounting for constant movement of planets through space and all. But I keep imagining people in planes that day, now falling out of the sky. Or what if you stood in a place that was then build on, so you materialize in a wall?! Would the atoms be pushed slightly to the side? It was good it wasn’t totally played for laughs and we got a moment of chaos. And Monica is a true champ and adapted real quick. Only to now be thrown into the next situation. XD

Agent Woo! AND HE LEARNED THE CARD TRICK! Lovely. And I’m glad that Darcy is a doctor now and competent in the field. This is what I wanna see for already known side-characters. A plus use for them all around. I’m just envious that they got to see more sitcom episodes than I did! Was nice seeing everything unfold and also tying back into the “fun” Westview narrative. Finding out about the actual people of the town is a bit chilling (interesting how Agnes doesn’t have a name and also Dottie is missing from that wall *dundundun*).

The most unexpected thing that happened was definitely seeing “dead Vision”. With that big hole in his head... I think I made a noise in that moment. I think it’s important to remember that Wanda was snapped away as well and for her it was a huge tornado. Sneaking away to a little private time with Vision; getting ambushed and realizing they are after the stone; trying the best, but having to kill Vision herself; only for it being in vain and watching Thanos killing him again; then sweet nothingness (Wanda looks zero distressed about vanishing, because at this point she has again lost a person she loved and there isn’t that much in this world where officially she is on the run from all the authorities and branded as a... well sentient weapon). Then she comes back, is on a larger battlefield, smacks Thanos around to find out that yep, world restored, but the things she was close to - not there anymore. Vision dead, Natasha dead, Steve aged up. Sam and Clint are probably the ones she can count as close. But Clint has his added baggage and Sam needs to re-adjust (with Bucky) on a mission their own. I don’t blame Wanda for wanting to live in happy sitcom land at all!!

But also why right now everything points to her, there is some information missing and something else at play here. But I have like ten different theories and don’t want to speculate too much. Didn’t think we would get to see how Wanda pushed Monica out, but that scene was great. And even knowing Monica wouldn’t die or anything, the tension was real. A++

DID I MENTION THAT KÍLLING MARIA RAMBEAU OFF-SCREEN IS IDIOTIC?!

(of course one problem now is that we have to acknowledge S.W.O.R.D. existed when the Battle of New York happened, oops)

[katjakun]

Rusame Completed Fanfictions List

Dear rusame pals, are you desperate to find a new fanfiction? Worry not, I made a list of my favorite fanfictions so you don’t have to look.

Yea, since I had a rusame fever I was looking through every completed fanfictions I could find. Here you have full stories and one shots (separately) from my favorites to good ones. Just so we’re clear, it’s jUsT mY oPiNiOn. Yeah, here we go:

FULL STORIES 

1. You and I will Fall in Love by Shatterdoll.

Summary and Rating:

Much to America's horror, Russia decides that the two of them are going to fall in love. And the more he fights it the stronger Russia's determination is to woo him, even if it means taking drastic measures...

M-Rated

2.  Trick or Treat by NekoKaiya 

Summary and Rating:

Alfred is a serial killer, Ivan is the head detective in charge of finding him. So what happens when they meet without knowing that and start getting very friendly?

M-Rated

3.  Oblivious by Locked Up

Summary and Rating: 

Alfred Jones isn't popular. Instead of sports and friends he gets comics and the daily abuse of Ivan Braginski, his unofficial nemesis. But when he receives a note from a secret admirer, he learns something rather interesting about this "enemy"...slash.

T-Rated

4.  Ivan Braginsky's Guide To Taking Care Of An Alien by Zero_Gravity

Summary and Rating:

Ivan has never been the best with people, often ending up alone. Perhaps that's why he became a writer, why he agreed to move, why his life took the direction it did. He never saw anything remarkable about it, accepting it simply as the way things were. Even if it left him incredibly lonely.

And then he meets Alfred, who claims to be an alien hiding from the government.

Ivan has a lot of decisions to make that will affect both of their lives.

Rated: Teen and Up

5.  No Choice by DaughterOfTheRevolution

Summary and Rating:

Russian mob boss Ivan Braginsky isn't denied anything; if he wants the American boy to join him for a candlelit evening then he will, if he wants the American boy to share his bed then he will. College student Alfred F. Jones has no choice in the matter whatsoever.

Rated: Explicit

6.  Not an American by DaughterOfTheRevolution 

Summary and Rating:

"You really must not be an American as you claim to be," Ivan then spoke up after a short silence. Alfred never turned to him however, he remained standing with his back toward him, too afraid to turn and face the decision he made. "You adore that man too much." Alfred grit his teeth, shut his eyes and balled his fists. "He saved me from you. Of course I care for him," Alfred bit out. What he said could have been met with a harsh response, but Ivan seemed more amused than anything else, judging by the sound of his laughter. "And yet it is because of him that you are forced into my arms. How funny, da?"

Rated: Explicit

7.  A Storm of Sunflowers by CreamPuffBunny

Summary and Rating:

With war taxes rising and living becoming harder, Alfred will do anything to save their farm even if it means giving himself to Lord Ivan.

M-Rated

8.  A Time To Love by Mizuni_no_Neko

Summary and Rating: 

Detective Alfred Jones and Detective Ivan Braginsky have been partners for years, and for years their constant fighting has been a bane on their department. But when the gang crime unit requests them for a special undercover assignment, they'll have to put aside their differences and act like the perfect, happy couple to get close to Kiku Honda, the leader of the Rising Sun, and take down his operation. But between their own fighting, enemies that seem to know too much, and something brewing in the city's underworld, can they learn to get along...or even something more?

M-Rated

9. Dear Diary by ai-08

Summary and Rating: 

Alfred F. Jones isn't gay. Just read his diary; you'll see.

T-Rated

10.  American Standards by Emerald-Leaves

Summary and Rating: 

What started out as an embarrassing situation for Russia leads him into an exciting competition involving his once greatest rival.

T-Rated

11.  With You by Galactic_Ink

Summary and Rating:

Alfred and Ivan have been inseparable friends all though high school, but that reputation was ruined just a day before school ended. This sudden end leads to four years of silence until Alfred calls Ivan out of the blue for a wedding.

M-Rated

12. Undying Urge by NekoKaiya

Summary and Rating: 

England gets drunk one faithful night and casts a spell on Russia that reverts Russia back to his teenage years. Everybody finds this younger Ivan hot as hell. Alfred makes it his goal to save Russia from others, what will happen?

M-Rated

13. When Night Falls by rexlover180

Summary and Rating:

They're called demons, the creatures that cause so much pain and suffering in the world. Born from the dark wishes of humanity, they only seek to destroy. As a half-demon, Alfred wants nothing more than to right the wrongs of his past. As a human, Ivan won't let anything get in the way as he seeks revenge. Their common goal; kill them all.

T-Rated

14.  Playing With Fire by rexlover180

Summary and Rating:

Many years ago, a man known now as The Dictator attempted to rule the world with Dark Magic. Due to his immortality, the public was forced to freeze him in time. A thousand years later, a university student, Ivan Braginsky, has shown his prowess and abilities to the point of being hired at the largest Detainment Center in the world. His job? To help guard The Dictator.

M-Rated

15.  Nymphetamine Addiction by DestineyTot

Summary and Rating:

All Ivan wanted was one taste, one little drop of that sweet blood on his tongue. What he got instead was a smiling, beautiful blonde and an unexpected relationship out of the whole mess.

M-Rated

16. The Trickster by rexlover180

Summary and Rating: 

The wall has been up for centuries. Ivan knows it must be protected, but not why. Alfred knows that he needs to get out, explore the world. The level of magic he possesses, however, attracts Ivan's attention, as well as the attention of Ivan's...advisor. The two clash immediately and neither are going to back down, on any issue that may arise. No matter the magnitude.

T-Rated

Honorable Mention:

yeah i know xd i just wanted to point that the next fanfiction is still in progress, but i need to put this here.

i love it

Drawing Dead by Drewyth

Summary and Rating: 

Alfred needs money. He works in an obscure Russian restaurant, lives in a shitty apartment with his ex, and rent is on the rise. He thinks he’s found the perfect gig—Until his side job draws the attention of some of Manhattan’s less savory characters. He grows close to one, a mob boss referred to as the “Old Bear.” Ivan Braginsky may offer protection, and even a way to make quick cash. Then again, he could also prove the least savory of them all. "Drawing Dead is when a player has absolutely no chance to win a hand, no matter what card is dealt next."

M-Rated

ONE-SHOTS

1.  why do they call this war cold, baby, when this line is so hot? 

Made by anonymous author, doesn’t have a rating or summary.

2.  Game Night for The Lonely Hearts Club by Shatterdoll

Summary and Rating:

Russia visits the empty houses of other nations when he's feeling particularly lonely. On one particular visit to one of America's homes the occupant unexpectedly shows up.

M-Rated

3.  This is Not a Love Song by Shaterdoll

Summary and Rating:

What was so wrong with hooking up with an old enemy every now and then to lick each other's wounds? Especially when they are so good at the licking part...

M-Rated

4.  It's really more of a hate-hate thing by Niki-the-awesome

Summary and Rating: 

Alfred and Ivan watch as their two presidents meet one another on live television. All is calm, before Ivan kicks Alfred underneath the table. The epic battle of footsies has begun... 

K-Rated

5. Asymmetrical by TheRocknRollBeauty

Summary and Rating:

Russia likes things symmetrical. He likes America very much because of this: but he would like him much more if he didn't have that annoying, off-putting little cowlick.

T-Rated

6.  An Unorthodox Approach by blommabelle

Summary and Rating:

Russia decides to take France's friendship advice and is beyond surprised with the unexpected results that come from it.

T-Rated

7.  Fire and Ice by eloquentelegance

Summary and Rating:

These are the facts. 1. You are nursing a flask of vodka. 2. America and Japan are roaring drunk. 3. Japan is a very affectionate drunk. 4. You need more vodka.

K-Rated

8.  Chewier Stops the Chatter by DaughterOfTheRevolution

Summary and Rating:

Alaska's big mouth calls for daddy to order a large shipment of Chewy Graham Slams.

T-Rated

***

ok guys, that’s it! i hope you’ll enjoy the fics, don’t forget to give kudos to the authors! 

[deathsmallcaps]

January’s Story

Yup! My ninth Win a Commission contest is the Princess Who Never Laughed, and @boopboopboopbadoop​ won! If you’d like to read my version of the story and an explanation of the art,

Once upon a time there was a widower king, who had a daughter named Felicity, and she was so lovely that the reports of her beauty went far and wide; but she was so melancholy that she never laughed, and she said “No!” to all who came to woo her—she would not have any of them, whether they were princes or noblemen.

The king had tired of this so-called whim of hers long ago, and thought she ought to look at and like other people; there was nothing she need wait for - she was old enough and she would not be any richer either, for she would inherit the kingdom.

So he made known that whoever could make his daughter laugh should have half the kingdom. Lovers from south and from north, from east and from west, came to try their luck - they thought it was an easy thing to make a princess laugh. They were a odd lot altogether, but for all their cleverness and for all the tricks and pranks they played, Felicity was just as serious and immovable as ever.

But close to the palace lived a man who had three sons, and they had also heard that the king had made known that he who could make the princess laugh should have half the kingdom.

The eldest of the brothers, Peter, wanted to try first, and away he went; and when he came to the palace, he told the king he wouldn’t mind trying to make the princess laugh.

“Yes, yes! That’s all very well,” said the king; “but I am afraid it’s of very little use, my man. There have been many here to try their luck, but my daughter is just as sad, and I am afraid it is no good trying. I do not like to see any more suffer on that account.”

But Peter thought he would try anyhow. It couldn’t be such a difficult thing to make a princess laugh at him, for had not everybody back when he had served in the army, both grand and simple, laughed so many a time at him when he served as soldier and went through his drills under Sergeant Nils?

So he went out on the terrace outside Felicity’s windows and began drilling just as if Sergeant Nils himself were there. But all in vain! The king laughed, but the princess sat just as serious and immovable as before, and so they sent him home.

Peter had no sooner arrived home than his second brother, Paul, wanted to set out and try his luck. He was a schoolmaster, and a funny figure he was altogether. He was great at preaching.

When Paul came to the palace, and said that he wanted to make the princess laugh, the king shrugged and let him in.

So the schoolmaster went out on the terrace, and took his place outside Felicity’s window, where he began preaching and chanting imitating seven of the parsons, and reading and singing just like seven of the clerks whom they had had in the parish.

The king laughed at the schoolmaster till he was obliged to hold on to his stomach as he fell to the floor, and Felicity was just on the point of smiling, but suddenly she was as sad and immovable as ever, and so it fared no better with Paul the schoolmaster than with Peter the soldier. So they took Paul and sent him home again.

Well, the youngest brother thought he would have a try next. His name was Hans. But the brothers laughed and made fun of him. Besides, the father would not give him leave to go, for he said it was no use his trying. But Hans would not give in—he begged and prayed so long, till they got tired of his whimpering, and so he got leave to go to the king’s palace and try his luck.

When he arrived at the palace he did not say he had come to try to make the princess laugh, but asked if he could get a job there. He figured if he could work there, he could observe the princess and see what could make her laugh. They had no job for him; but Hans was not so easily put off - so get rid of the lad the King gave him hired Hans to carry wood and water for the kitchenmaids.

One day, when he was going to fetch water from the brook, he saw a big silvery fish in the water just under an old root of a fir-tree, which the current had carried all the soil away from. He put his bucket under the fish and caught it. As he was going back to the palace, he met an old woman leading a golden goose.

“Good day!” said Hans. “That’s a fine bird you have got there; and such splendid feathers too! He shines a long way off. If one had such feathers, one needn’t be chopping firewood.”

The woman thought just as much of the fish which Hans had in the bucket, and said if Hans would give her the fish he should have the golden goose; and this goose was such magicked that if anyone touched it and if Hans said: “If you’ll come along, then hang on.” as well, they would be stuck like glue to the whatever they were touching.

”Sure,” said Hans, and they made the trade. “A bird is as good as a fish any day,” he said to himself. “If it is as you say, I might use it instead of a fish-hook,” he said to the woman, and felt pleased with the possession of the goose.

He had not gone far before he met another old woman. When she saw the splendid golden goose, she felt that she must go and stroke it. She made herself so friendly and spoke so nicely to Hans, and asked him to let her stroke that lovely golden goose of his.

“Oh, yes!” said Hans, “but you mustn’t pluck off any of its feathers!”

She acquiesced. Just as she stroked the bird, Hans felt curious and said: “If you’ll come along, then hang on!”

The woman yanked and pulled, but she had to hang on, whether she want to or no, and Hans walked on, as if he only had the goose with him.

When he had gone some distance, he met a man who had a spite against the woman for a trick she had played upon him. When he saw that she fought so hard to get free and seemed to hang on so fast, he thought he might safely venture to pay her off for the grudge he owed her, and so he gave her a kick.

“If you’ll come along, then hang on!” said Hans, who felt that the woman hadn’t deserved that, and the man had to hang on and limp along on one leg, whether he wanted to or no; and when he tried to tear himself loose, he made it still worse for himself, for he was very nearly falling on his back whenever he struggled to get free.

Hans pulling them around by the goose

So on they went till they came in the neighborhood of the palace. There they met the king’s smith; he was on his way to the smithy, and had a large pair of tongs in his hand. This smith was a merry fellow, and was always full of mad pranks and tricks, and when he saw this procession coming jumping and limping along, he began laughing till he was bent in two.

But they did not stop. The woman and the man only looked in great rage at the smith for making game of them. So said the smith: “It would be great fun to see if I could stop the whole flock, many as they are!”—He was a strong man, and seized the man with his tongs from behind in his hat, and the man shouted and struggled hard, but Hans felt mischievous and said: “If you’ll come along, then hang on!”

And so the smith had to hang on too. He bent his back and stuck his heels in the ground when they went up a hill and tried to get away, but it was of no use; he stuck on to the other as if he had been screwed fast to the man’s trousers, and whether he liked it or not, he had to dance along with the others.

When they came near the palace, a dog ran against them and barked at them, as if they were a gang of tramps, and when Felicity came to look out of her window to see what was the matter, and saw this procession, she burst out laughing. But Hans was not satisfied with that. “Just wait a bit, and she will laugh still louder very soon,” he said, and made a tour round the palace with his followers.

When they came past the kitchen, the door was open and the cook was just boiling porridge, but when she saw Hans and his train after him, she rushed out of the door with the porridge-stick in one hand and a big ladle full of boiling porridge in the other, and she laughed till her sides shook; but when she saw the smith there as well, she thought she would have burst with laughter. When she had had a regular good laugh, she looked at the golden goose again and thought it was so lovely that she must stroke it.

“Hans, Hans!” she cried, and ran after him with the ladle in her hand; “just let me stroke that lovely bird of yours.”

“Rather let her stroke me!” said the smith, simply wanting her to join the fun and not realizing what that sounded like.

“Very well,” said Hans.

But when the cook heard this, she got very angry. “What is it you say!” she cried, and gave the smith a smack with the ladle.

“If you’ll come along, then hang on!” said Hans, and so she stuck fast to the others too, and for all her scolding and all her tearing and pulling, she had to limp along with them.

And when they came past the princess’s window again, she was still there waiting for them, but when she saw that they had got hold of the cook too, with the ladle and porridge-stick, she laughed till the king had to drag her off the floor. This magically caused the people to come unstuck, and they all went off grumbling. They weren’t grumbling for long, however, as they later realized they had the story of a lifetime to tell and so rejoiced.

Felicity immediately asked to meet Hans, and they soon became friends, but never married, because she was uninterested in everybody and so was he. Felicity did have a daughter with him to carry on the line, and they lived comedically (and happily) ever after.

THE END

Explanation

I wanted to draw clogs - that is literally the only reason why everyone looks Dutch. But I didn’t realize their old fashion was so colorful, and is kind of old-timey cute!

The title card isn’t my most sophisticated one, but I got a goose in! I specifically looked up geese from the Netherlands area, but I forgot what its called. Its white with an orange beak and kind of red around the eyes? Very helpful, I know. Sorry.

For the first picture, I used this as inspiration for their clothes. I loved giving Hans a goody face, and I liked practicing drawing older faces - I tend to draw people my own age more than anything, lol. The old nasty man has anime impact lines just to make sure everyone knows that he bumped into that corner. I don’t think I’m going to make that a habit in these. 

For the last picture, I’ve never drawn anyone laughing, really, before, so that was fun! If you think Felicity’s legs are awkward, I agree. Here’s my post-drawing explanation!

I decided to make Felicity an aroace person, along with Hans, because I felt it fit well with their characters. 

I based Felicity and her father, along with their clothes, off Dutch royalty I found off of Wikipedia. 

Do you guys know the book in the corner? It’s a reference to another story I’m going to do, sooner or later.

[parabelled]

 tagged by @anathenma WOO GIRL <3

rules: tag 10 followers you want to get to know better

name: Lauren

gender: Female

star sign: Virgo Sun || Leo Moon || Leo Ascendent, which basically means I have the usually quiet reserved personality of an analytical, organised virgo on the fact of things, am usually the goofy, chill friend amongst my friends, and don’t like to take anyone’s shit, but if I am disrespected, I’m a sensitive six foot flower and withdraw from the world until I can get over it. xD I don’t like conflict.

height: 183cm/6 feet 

age: 27 (YIKES XD)

wallpaper on my phone: (I had to check XD) A calendar of May 2020 stylistically arranged around ribbons

house: Slytherin

ever crush on a teacher: Both my parents and my uncle are teachers and consequently I knew every teacher in my school as actual human people and not ‘crushes’ growing up. So no. XD

coolest halloween costume: I went as the Starbucks logo one year when I was eight, a gigantic Lady Luck die one year with a top hat covered in poker chips and cards. I had some good ones I made: I was creative as fuck when I was 9-11 especially, and I had to be, because I was already around 5′7 and people assumed I was just some weirdo dressing up to get candy (Hearing ‘AREN’T YOU A LITTLE OLD TO BE TRICK OR TREATING’ at eleven CRUSHED me XD)

Favorite 90s tv show: 

Okay. So there’s one’s I watched actually as a child of the 90s, and ones that were just always ON in the 90s that I ended up watching. It’s debatable whether these are actually good NOW. XD

That being said, the background ones were Saved By the Bell (ZACH MORRIS IS TRAAAAassssh~~), Boy Meets World, Seinfeld, Everybody Loves Raymond.

As a kid, I loved the Aladdin Animated Series, The Hercules Animated Series, CHIP AND DALE RESCUE RANGERS (Which didn’t really hold up sadly but still has the best theme song of all time, fight me), and Timon and Pumbaa.

One I rarely caught but really liked was All That, The Wonder Years, Sabrina the Teenage Witch- occasionally Fresh Prince.

Out of all of these, I still have a super fond spot for Saved By the Bell, especially with the ‘Zach Morris is Trash’ series on Youtube (Seriously, go watch it. It’s fucking hilarious and basically breaks down how much of a serial killer in the making Zach Morris is XD). The clothing is ridiculous and no one really dressed like that in the early 90s outside of commercials and TV (unfortunately). Maybe one shoddy item out of the bunch. Meanwhile Saved by the Bell is like LETS PUT IT ALL ON. XD It was terrible once they got to college, but it was stupid and fun and made me feel ‘cool’ watching it because I was like three and being like, “YEAH, IT’S BRIGHT AND THESE PEOPLE ARE COOL AND I CAN FOLLOW THE PLOT. I’M MATURE.” XD It’s literally still the only one of these I actively watch now in the form of Zach Morris is Trash, so I’ll go with it. xD

Last kiss: Never had a consensual kiss. Make of that what you will. xD

Have you ever been stood up: Nope.

Favourite pair of shoes: 

I have terrible plantar fasciitis from sports, so I’m a shoe snob, and have to have properly fitting/constructed shoes. It depends on what I’m doing in them, really. I got a pair of trail running shoes for trail running during COVID, but they’re not the most aesthetically pleasing. I’d say the best mixture between comfort and style are either a good ol’pair of black ankle boots with a slight heel (so I can be 6′2 and intimidate people with my height muhahahaha), or more practically on a day to day basis, I have a pair of Reeboks that are 90s-styled with pastel pink and blue triangles on the side. They’re pretty dope. xD

have you ever been to vegas: No, but my parents have. Basically, they said you tire of shopping after two days, and then you’re just stuck inside hotels and shopping malls there. If you’re not a gambler, drinker, or have a ton of money to splash out on stage shows, I don’t think it’s particularly worth going.

favorite fruit: Mango or raspberry, but they’re super-expensive in the land of Maple Syrup so I usually don’t get them any other way other than frozen in smoothies.

Favourite book:

 I could never choose a favourite book. It’s literally like choosing between children. It’s my microcosmic version of Sophie’s Choice. xD Tasteless joke aside, it’d honestly depend on the occasion. There’s a huge difference between entertainment reading, literary exploits, and educating yourself through books as a whole. 

My ‘plane’ book (which I’m terrible at flying, so that was a joke), as in, an easy, fun, instantly rereadable read to read on the plane when I used to have super long fifteen hour flights to Australia, was always Mario Puzo’s ‘The Godfather,’ because I also had a huge crush on Michael Corleone. 

But it’s also not the ‘best’ book and literally spends an inordinate and honestly disturbing amount of time on the fact that this poor woman in the story (which thankfully in the film, it gets cut down), but the bridesmaid Sonny Corleone has sex with, and how you see his wife indicating his ‘size’?

THAT’S LITERALLY AN ENTIRE SUBPLOT OF THIS BROAD’S STORY I SHIT YOU NOT BECAUSE NOTHING IS ‘BIG’ ENOUGH FOR HER AFTER HIM AND THEN YOU FIND OUT SHE HAS A MEDICAL CONDITION AND GOOD FOR HER SHE’S ABLE TO FIND LOVE AGAIN BUT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MARIO PUZO XD IT WAS A LOT OKAY.

(Footnote: I also suffered through his horrific sequels because I love Michael Corleone and will take him in any form he comes in, even horrifically written Sicilian backhill exploits that were never told to us in the original book and were clearly just written because Puzo needed another pay check but I digress.)

Horrific subplots aside, I really enjoy The Godfather for its sheer pulpiness. The book is essentially what Andrew Lloyd Weber is to musicals. xD (Yes, I come with musical theatre burns. Fight me.)

In terms of a piece of literature that I think is amazingly well done? Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe, or Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury.

Stupidest thing you ever done: 

Um, maybe when I was at Cambridge I tried to dye my roots to match the rest of my ‘blonde’ hair at the time, and it turned out bright orange? And because it’s Cambridge, they had this super-strict attendance policy, so I was literally trying not to hyperventilate because it was running close to class (which was across campus) and I was trying to find some way to remedy my hair without it falling out/ someone asking about it. So, I grabbed a toque-cap-thing despite it being literally one of the hottest summer on record in the UK (It was like 35 degrees, it was MENTAL), and had to sprint to class all the way on the other side of campus from my college dodging dodgy tourist groups blocking the sidewalk while I went. Then when I sat down inside, I had to be weirdly rude and wear my hat inside the lecture hall even though the professor was looking at me (it was a specialised program in German Literature) like, “Are you going to take that shit off?” xD THEN I tried to dye it back to brown, and it literally looked like mud mixed with a runny egg had exploded on the top of my head; it was AWFUL. XD So FINALLY I did my research and found a salon, but by THAT point I had done 250 pounds worth of damage to my hair (WHICH IS LIKE 400 DOLLARS CANADIAN AT THE TIME), and I almost had a heart attack and thanked my lucky stars that I had money put away so I could give my parents the ‘parent price’ when they asked why they hadn’t seen me on FaceTime or Skype for like, three weeks, and I replaced my face with a photo of John Cleese from Fawlty Towers, which they tease me about to this day. xD

The other dumbest thing I ever said was when I was so desperate for friends in grade six when I moved to a new school (and because being American was ‘cool’ at the time, apparently), I told everyone I was a dual citizen because my mother LITERALLY GAVE BIRTH TO ME ON THE BORDER CROSSING WHAT. XD And bless this poor bespectacled girl named Mara (who was actually a little class friend of mine), who just said timidly in the back, “That’s not how citizenship works.” xD It basically came out of attempting to be cool and failing, but I’m still SO embarrassed about THAT one that I’d never admit it to ANYONE besides shouting it out into the Tumblr black hole. xD I’m still embarrassed to THIS DAY.

All time favorite shows: 

 I’ll go for the original run of The Twilight Zone, which has some schmaltzy episodes (I’m really not a fan of any of the episodes entirely dedicated to the Space Race or the weird cowboy fanaticism of the fifties/ sixties, or anything that’s overtly like “ALIENS DID IT SO THERE”), but I LOVE their psychological horror episodes or Dystopian episodes. It’s when Rod Serling’s writing and narrative voice is the strongest and most prophetic, and the twists are usually the best. Other shows have tries to imitate it, or reboot it, but I really think the original, due to Rod Serling’s unmatchable voice, in every sense of the word. There’s lists of some of the greatest episodes, but I remember LOVING the episode ‘A Stop at Willoughby.’ The twist literally made me clap my hands in horror and delight, it was amazing. xD

Other than that? Off the top of my head, Mad Men and Band of Brothers, even though I haven’t rewatched either in ages.

last movie you saw in theaters: 

Oh God, before all THIS hit? Probably Rise of Skywalker. I get agoraphobic and itchy if a movie theatre is too busy, and we only have really pokey sort of ones nearby that you’re guaranteed to see someone you went to high school with (terrible), so now that I can properly drive I go out to the big redneck theatre out in the boonies. I miss living in Montreal though, because when you live in a big city like that downtown (and can actually afford to live there), you could see blockbuster movies at like ten in the morning. xD Which would be AMAZING because I’d go to see any of the early Avengers/Marvel movies when they opened, the day of opening, and it was literally me, one old man who fell asleep halfway through and sat near the back, and maybe an elderly couple on a morning date to the movies. xD I get really annoyed with obnoxious movie-goers, and I’m really picky about just being completely absorbed in the movie, so I tend not to go unless I’m guaranteed that space. 

tagging: Anyone who wishes to tag me back so I can learn about them <3

[callmetippytumbles]

A Happy New Year (Liam x MC)

Tippy’s Note: So listen, it’s been a hot minute since I did a fanfic.  Blah, blah, life. Blah, blah, busy. Other stuff.  I wanted to get back into the swing of things with something fluffy, sweet and in the spirit of the season.  Like the first fanfic, Tipsy Halle had to make an appearance.  I hope you guys like it.  I may have more stuff cooking for you guys.

Disclaimer: Choices owns this and I do not.

Words Counted: 2,135 Rating: PG Pairing: Liam x MC (Halle), Driara

Liam x MC tags: @jacksonsmaine @umccall71 @blackcoffee85 @theroyalweisme @writtenbycandy@hopefulmoonobject @mynameiskaylabella  @the-everlasting-dream@zigbadboy  @indiacater @lolablackwrites  @i-choose-liam

Fic tags: @coldcolectornight08  @brightpinkpeppercorn  @smalltalk88

Halle and Liam sat in front of one of the large pine trees outside of Applewood Manor.  Their large grins trained on the camera in front of them.

“Wishing a Merry Christmas…” Liam started.

“...And Happy Holidays to you and yours.” Halle added, hoping the huskiness to her voice brought warmth and not exhaustion.  

“And an extra happy holiday to you.” Liam cooed to the youngest Rhys, two-year-old Asher, Ash for short, who nuzzled against his mother.  The young boy smiled and clasped his father’s nose in his gloved hands.

Five-year-olds Kalilah and Zuri sat in front of them and waved to the camera. While Zuri continued to wave, Kalilah reached down into the snow and threw a snowball at her brother and father.  Zuri quickly retaliated and soon the peaceful moment descended into chaos.  Lilah had Zuri pinned within seconds.  Ash patted snow on his sister’s back leaving Halle and Liam to have a battle of their own.  

Halle smashed a snowball on her husband’s face.

“Is that how you want to play, my love?”

She didn’t finish her nod before Liam tackled her in the snow.

“Cut,” An exasperated Madeleine shouted behind the camera crew.  “So much for a regal but festive address.” She threw her hands up in the air.

Halle pulled Lilah off of her brother while Liam held Ash. They walked over to where Madeleine was with the camera crew.

“Think we have it now?”

“No, Your Majesty, we do not. We should do one more take.”

Zuri groaned.

Halle looked down at her children.  Lilah looked about ready to cry.  Zuri had his arms across his chest.  They were more than done.  Ash was also over it, getting antsy in his father’s arms.  

“I don’t think the twins have another take in them and Ash is about ready for a nap.”  

“I still think…”

“Maybe the snow fight is a good thing,” St. James interjected.  “It makes them seem down to earth.”

“They are not down to earth, they are the Royal Family of Cordonia.  This isn’t some cutesy e-card we are making for Grandma.”

Ash became even fussier, fighting his father’s embrace, his small limbs flailing in every direction.  “I say that we go with this one.  With the snowball fight.” Liam giving his final word while trying to calm the toddler.

“Of course, Your Majesty,” Madeleine says with a fake grin, though the tightness in her jaw said otherwise.  She walked away with a determined stride, calling over her shoulder as she went.  “Make sure that the footage gets to the editor ASAP.  I want this on every television station by primetime and on Instagram before tea-time.”

“I am already on it.” St. James hollered back.

Now Drake was playing the clip of Liam getting smashed with a snowball on his phone during New Years Eve gathering that Halle and Liam were hosting at the Valtoria Estate.  

“You don’t get to see that every day,” Drake pointed out.  “The Sovereign Ruler of Cordonia getting pummelled with snow.”

“I seem to recall you being buried in snow by your wife and son on Instagram. I think it even had the caption hashtag ‘snow daddy’” Liam countered.  

“But I am not the king.”

“Dieu merci pour ça,” Kiara said as she joined the two men. “The last thing we need is a grumpy monarch who would spend an alarming amount of the GDP on whiskey.”

“I am not a grump.”

His best friend raised his eyebrow and his wife side-eyed him.  

“I am not!” Drake defended.  “I like fun.  Woo. Fun. Good times for all.”

“But you are my dear, and I love you anyway,” Kiara added with a kiss on Drake’s cheek.

“You’ve got to now.  You’re stuck with me.” Drake kissed her on the lips.

“Guess I am... Snow Daddy.”

“Truer words have never been spoken.”

Zuri ran up to his father, his footie pajamas slipping on the hardwood floors. “Can we do sock slides with Uncle Maxwell?”

Henri, Drake and Kiara’s son followed closely behind. “Yeah, can we?”

“What did your mother say?”

“Ask your father.”

“Did she now?  Well, I guess I do not see the immediate harm in this.” Liam reasoned.

“They would be with an adult,” Kiara added.

“You are calling Maxwell an adult?”

Henri held onto his father’s leg.  Drake saw his own eyes peer back at him as he pouted his mother’s lips.  

“Please,” the child begged with a lip quiver.

Drake sighed, “Fine.”

“Yes!” Henri cheered, his pout vanishing.

“Sock slide contest with Uncle Maxwell!”

“He has all the best tricks.”

Henri and Zuri ran off in search of their fun uncle, leaving the adults to themselves.

A waiter walked by with a tray of drinks.  Liam and Drake picked up tumblers of scotch while Kiara’s had non-alcoholic Lythikos eggnog. She and Drake were expecting their second child, so that meant no wine for her.  This led to a discussion about adjusting from one child to two.  Liam did not have much to offer in that discussion since he and Halle went from zero to two in one go.  

Halle had Ash for most of the night.  He didn’t do well with spending long periods of time with the nanny or with lots of new people in the house.  With all of the strangers in the house, Ash was especially clingy.  Any time she would put the child down to have him play with the other children, he would throw a tantrum that could only be calmed by a mother’s love.  Eventually, the stimulation became too much and Ash tired himself out.  Now Halle was free to actually enjoy the party that she planned.  

Heading towards the great hall where everyone was, she was intercepted by Bastien.  

“Your Majesty, we have a situation in the kitchen.”

“Liam!”

Bastien held his hands up.  “No-no, it’s not your husband, it’s your son.”

“What happened.”

“We can walk and talk.”

Halle entered her kitchen to find Zuri and Henri passed out by an half-eaten chocolate cake.  

“Zuri!”

“Mamma?” The boy sleepily responded.

“How did you get here?”

“Well we were feeling sleepy and Uncle Maxwell said that if we eat a lot of sugar we can stay awake until midnight.”

“Like the grown-ups,” Henri added.

“Well, how grown up do the two of you feel?”

Zuri groaned, “Well being a grown-up means being tired.”

“My tummy hurts.”

“I bet it does.”

Halle wiped the chocolate frosting smeared on the boys' faces, then put the chocolate cake in the fridge.  While wiping down the counter, she saw a sight that made her stop in her tracks.  Her eyes scanned the liquor cabinet and landed on a full bottle of her favorite, Hennessy Pure White.  Halle smiled.  I am gonna make my way back to you, beloved, she thought to herself.

Halle motioned for Bastien to grab Henri while she grabbed Zuri.  In Zuri’s room, she changed both of them out of their cake soiled pajamas and into clean ones and put them to bed.  She sent Kiara a text letting her know where her son was.  As soon as both boys were sound asleep in their beds, Halle beelined back to the kitchen.  Once there, she found the Hennessy Pure White that was flirting with her earlier.  

“Come to Mama!”

Halle made herself a quick, but potent island punch and rejoined the party upstairs, drink in hand.  

Later on that night a little closer to midnight, Liam was looking for his wife to have a moment alone but had not seen her since she made him hold Asher for a quick bathroom break.  There was a tug on his pant leg.  He looked down to see Lilah trying to get his attention.

“Ready for bed?” He asked picking her up.

She slowly shook her head.  “No. I will make it to midnight like the grown-ups.”

“You do not have to.  If you feel tired, I can tuck you in.  I am sure Zuri is already asleep.”

“I’m okay, papa,” she said before stifling a yawn.

“Let’s go find mamma though.”

“Mamma is over there.”

The room fell quiet as Liam turned his head.  Hana was in front of the baby grand piano while Halle laid atop it.  Halle perked up when Hana started to play the opening bars to a song.  Liam was familiar with the melody, but couldn’t grasp the words or the name.  Then he heard it.

“I believe the children are our future…”

Lilah buried her head in the crook of her father’s neck.

“No, mama, no,” she whined covering her ears.

“Teach them well and let them lead the way.  Show them all the beauty they possess insiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide.”

Hana giggled as Halle drew out that last note but continued her flawless playing.  

“Give them a sense of pride….”

“You have lost all of yours, Halle,” Drake mumbled to himself.  “Question is which bottle of Hennessey took it.”  

Kiara smacked her husband hard on the chest.  He responded with a shrug and finished off the finger of scotch in his glass. Liam moved towards the front of the room holding their daughter, not only to get a better view of the show but to be ready to intervene if things went downhill.  

Halle slid off the piano and approached her husband and daughter, continuing to sing.

“Let the children's laaaaaaaaughter remind us how we used to beeeeeeee.”

She booped Lilah on the nose.  Lilah snuggled into her father more.

“Every–”

“Everybody's searching for a hero,” Maxwell sang joining the Queen.

Halle strode to his side and whispered, My time to shine.

Maxwell whispered back, Sharing is caring.

“People need someone to look up to, I never found anyone who fulfilled my neeeeeeeeeds,” He continued.  “A lonely place to be, and so I learned to depend on meeee.”

Not being one to be outdone or overtaken, Halle cut back in, raising her voice. “I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows.”

Maxwell roared back, “If I fail, if I succeeeeeeeeed, at least I'll live as I believeeeee.”

“No matter what they take from me, they can't take away my dignityyyyyyy!” Halle sang back, dramatically pointing to her chest.

“The greaaaaaaaatesssssst love of allllllllll–” Maxwell sang.

Halle turned to face him, “Is happening to meeeee!”

Maxwell stepped closer, “I found the greatest love of all, inside of me”

“THE GREATEST LOVE OF ALL–”

“IS EASY TO ACHIEVE!”

They both stopped for a moment.  Hana stopped playing once she saw that they went silent.  They stared at each other.  Maxwell was red in the face.  Halle had developed some sweat along her hairline.  When the moment could not get any tenser, they broke down and started laughing.

“Learning to love yourself,” they sang in unison,  “it is the greatest love of all.”

Everyone in the room applauded the impromptu performance.

Maxwell and Halle embraced.  Halle held him close and whispered, we will talk about you leaving my son alone with a sheet cake later.  Maxwell gulped and smiled nervously while everyone applauded.  Hana stood from behind the piano and joined the two of them.  They linked hands and took a final bow.

Halle joined Liam and Lilah.  She gave her daughter a kiss on the forehead as she continued to rest on her father’s shoulder.  

“You wanted to drop the mic and say ‘Sexual Chocolate’ so bad, didn’t you?” Liam whispered.

She let out a disappointed sigh, “No need to rub it in.” He rubbed her back soothing her mild disappointment.

“Oh my God! It’s almost midnight!” Savannah shouted from across the room.

Everyone counted down the final moments of the year.  When the clock struck midnight, the first minute of the new year was filled with the sound of applause, champagne poppers, party horns.  Couples kissed.  Bottles of champagne were opened with loud pops and served to everyone.

Lilah perked up a little during the commotion but quickly returned to sleeping on Liam’s shoulder.  He and Halle brought her to bed before returning to their guests.

The party went on for a little while longer after that and when it was finally over, Liam and Halle were finally alone in the Royal Chambers.  They were in their bed, still awake, despite the long party.  Liam pressed his forehead against Halle’s.  

“Happy new year, my love.”

“Happy new year, my king.”

His hand cupped her face as he dipped down to kiss her.  She pressed herself closer to him returning it.

“We didn’t sneak off during this party to have any time to ourselves,” Halle commented.

“We are alone now.”

“We are.”

Liam yawned, “Want to raincheck in the morning.”

Halle nodded, “Yeah.”

With that, they began the new year the way they planned to spend the rest of their lives, together, in each other’s arms.  

[ssnakey-b]

FF8 English-French translarison, part 18: A tribe called Side-quest

Hello again, everybody! It’s been a while but we’re back! Quick refresher: last time, we went over the many differences in the concert scene and the stuff leading up to it.

And now, Squall wakes up and is being summoned to the bridge, but before that, let’s take another look around Balamb Garden and see if there’s anything of interest, shall we?

First little thing, the CC Club. For the most part the dialogue with Jack here (or Valet in French) is pretty much the same in both languages, but there is one small difference, in that in English, the CC members other than the King are described as “Card _____” whereas in French, they are just referred to as their title. So for example, you get “The Knight of Clubs” instead of “Card Knight Club” (by the way, “Knight Club” sounds like the name of a place that specializes in all-sorceress bachelorette parties).

Also, the Joker is referred to as just that, not Magician Joker, although the Jack does call him a magician once.

Here’s something interesting if you talk to Irvine. Most of lines are pretty much the same, except for one, where in French, he says “There’s no big secret to hitting on girls, you gotta look cool!” whereas in English, he gives Squall the following advice: “Like... I’ve been thinking about this for a while now... Maybe you should loosen up a bit? You’ll be sure to get girls that way...!”

Weird that only that one line would be so different. Also, thanks for your input, mister Love Doctor, but I think Squall is going to stick to the patented Loire-Leonhart seduction technique: be lucky enough that you’re so hot girls go after you, and not you after them, in spite of your massive awkwardness”. Seriously, between Laguna’s cramp and Squall’s... self, their family line would have extinguished itself centuries ago if it weren’t for their absurdly good genes and actually had to put any effort into wooing ladies.

Skipping ahead to plot stuff, this is a good spot to tell you that in French, Squall’s title isn’t “commander” but “chef”. And no, that doesn’t mean he’s a cook, that word actually just means “chief” or “boss”. The term used in English comes from the title “chef cuisinier”, which translates as “Head cook”.

But yeah, the French title is kinda lame regardless. It’s such a generic title. Don’t know why they couldn’t use “commandant”, which you know, actually is a military rank and would describe Squall’s role far better. “Chef” sounds more like something cops would call their boss in a TV show. Although I will say, now that I think of it, I so want a whodunnit series where Balamb Garden is a police headquarter.

More importantly, though, we have a very different reaction from Squall depending on the version. In English, he actually gets annoyed and asks Quistis not to call him that. In French, he’s more confused and just repeats “Chef?” as shown above.

Anyway, Squall’s filthy assistants suggest checking on Balamb but fuck that, we’re going on side quests! Yeah, I figure that now that the game world is finally almost completely opened up, it’s a good time to start doing these, and generally exploring. Plus, I’ve worked out a neat way to alternate between side quests and plot stuff at least until the battle of the Gardens, so it’s nice to have a bit of organization for a change.

First stop, Obel Lake. We have another bizarre change here as in the English text, the shadow you can meet after humming a song sends you on a quest to find his friend, Mr. Monkey (and with that, it just occurred to me how freaking weird that game can get). But in the French version, his friend is called “Ryo the idiot”.

Yeah, they’re nothing a like and I really wonder what prompted each version. Again, if you played another localisation of the game and they call it something else, I’d love to hear what it is.

After we find the idiot / monkey / idiot monkey and return to mr. Shadow (hm, is it the same one from Fifth Element?), we have another interesting difference as in French, the shadow says “Booyaka” to great you. Looks like Selphie’s catchphrase did catch on to someone after all!

Now then, you may be aware that relaying his friend’s whereabouts makes the shadow give you some helpful hints as a reward, and of them is to “take some time off at Eldbeak Peninsula”. Once you get there, you find some weird message, and the trick is to literally take the words “time” and “off” away from the message the reveal another hint.

Of course, that would only work in English, so what did they do for the French version? Well, the shadow tells you “Retire tes pompes à Eldbeak Peninsula”, which means “take off your shoes at Eldbeak Peninsula”. And indeed, removing the words “tes pompes” pulls the same trick.

Also, annoyingly, the shadow’s hint refers to the place as Eldbeak Peninsula despite being translated as “Crête d’Eldbeak” in French, and since the hint is in a very specific spot and could find it right away, I ended up wondering if I got to the wrong place at first and started looking futilely around for an Eldbeak Peninsule (or a “Péninsule d’Eldbeak”), until checking the Internet confirmed that I was in the right place at the beginning.

If you go back to the dumbass ape after you manage to skip the rock “many, many times” (or “an incalculable amount of times” in French), he’ll get angry and start yelling “Ahhh! Darn it! Y-You’re just a big loser! I’m able to skip the rock as many times as I want! So there! Ha-Hah! Loser! Dork! Idiot! Your mom wears combat boots!”

Well that certainly was creative, although I think most of the cast except Linoa and Zell is immune to “yo mama” jokes, what with being orphans and all. ANyway, he is a bit more restrained in French, going “For God’ssake! How can anyone suck so bad? What a butterfingers, really! I can skip rocks 100 more times than you!”

Do note I specified “a bit”.

Moving on to Timber, let’s see what’s new. This little girl says her mom will let her have a cat when Timber is independent in both versions, and in both versions, she struggles with the word “independent”, but they way to present it is different. In English, she slowly sounds it out. In French, she mispronounces it as “indéTendant”, with a T instead of a P. Well, can’t blame her, I’d rather have a T than a P too. Thank you all for coming, I’ll be here all week!

This guy says that his girlfriend keeps nagging him, saying he’s a loser. In the English version, he than whines that if someone had told him not to give up back then, he would have tried harder, proving his girlfriend right. Oddly, he doesn’t say that second part in the French version, so you don’t get a hint that you should have encouraged him earlier, because apparently this guy makes career decisions based on the advice of random passers-by.

Here’s a very interesting one as the dialogue with both NPCs goes in waaaaayyyy different directions. In English, the mom says “I’m so proud of my daughter. You guys help your parents out, too while you can. They may not ask for it, but it’ll make them really happy.”

Tssssss... about thaaaaat...

Let’s move swiftly on. In French, she instead says “From time to time, I feel like I am my daughter’s grandmother. Strange, isn’t it?”.

As for the daughter, in English, she says “It”s quite tough being the eldest daughter. I have a lot of responsibilities... But I love my parents who adopted me and my twin brothers.”

Gee whiz, it keeps getting more and more awkward. In French, she says “Sometimes, I feel like I’m my parents’ mom... That’s strange, right?”.

So yeah, very different and all kidding aside, I once again have to give it to the English version, as I like the mention of the kids being adopted. It goes to show that the main characters aren’t the only orphans in that world.

Back to smaller differences with these two. For the most part, their dialogue is the same, with the girl saying she used to get fired up but calmed down later on, and in English, the guy says “you were just as attractive when you used to beat me up.” whereas in French, he says “Oh! The beatings she would give me whenever I tried ti give her a little kiss!”.

Well... still a healthier relationship than 50 Shades of Grey, I suppose. Not by much, but hey...

Inside the pub, in the English version, the lady says it’s called Aphrora and that it’s related to an Aurora. However, in the French version, she straight-up says it’s called Aurora. In both versions, she then adds that it means “drink until you see [an/the] aurora,” but interestingly, in English, she tells us to come back for drinks when we’re older, while in French she jokes that “considering the décor, it should be ‘drink until you stop seeing the horror’.“

But far more importantly, this:

Alright, so in the English version, she explains that her boss and his wife are part of different resistance groups, respectively, the Forrest Duck and the Forrest Fox, and that it resembles their relationship.

In French, she says her boss is a “Canard de la Forêt”, which does translate to “Forrest Duck”... but then adds that his wife is part of a different group (which she doesn’t name) and that she always changes one letter from he name of her husband’s group.

Now, this to me seems like a covert yet very obvious reference to the word “connard” (meaning she technically changes two letters but let’s not nitpick), which is a variation on “con” which is French for “cunt”. The closest I could translate that is would be “cunter”.

So yeah, that’s some classic crap getting past the radar right there, although I’m not sure it was even necessary considering the translations of later FF games include similarly coarse language such as “merde” and “connerie”, another variation on “con”.

I should point out that the French are generally way more cool with swearing than Americans seem to be, and boy howdy do we love ourselves some cunts and variations of it. We have cunters, cuntesses, cunteries, etc... Yeah, you’re not gonna have the outraged reactions you’d get from that in America over here. We basically use “cunt” the same way you guys use “fuck / fucker / fuckery / etc”.

In fact, I remember the French dub of one of the Harry Potter movies has Harry call Ron a cunt as well, at some point. It doesn’t help that with a few exceptions, we don’t really have mild swears in French, it’s usually either tame or strong, so translators often go for the stronger option when a scene needs the extra punch, with sometimes hilarious results.

Anyway, let’s move on. I’m putting this above screenshot in English because this guy seems to have an accent or something, which is absent in the French version. Although that does seem to confirm the previous mention of accents in the FF world, which is a neat bit of lore.

If you go back to the area where two kids are playing on the train tracks, you can rescue the little girl after she falls and nearly gets crushed by a train, because apparently Squall just wasn’t sexy enough, so he also has to save adorable little girls to make women will swoon some more. More relevantly, after the girl thanks you, a model train appears to bring some news, which apparently travel very fast in Timber.

In English, it says the girl was saved “in the nick of time” by a brave young man. The French version make sit a bit more grisly, saying she was saved “from a horrible death”.

If you talk to this girl a couple times, she’ll tell you a story about how she was nearly hit by a train and was saved by a very handsome man named Loire (guess it runs in the family) and how he was the man of her dreams and Squall presumably starts feeling nauseated and ddoesn’t understand why. In French, she tells the same story but oddly, she can’t remember his name as well, and calls him La Gooma instead.

And now we move on to Dollet, where there is quite a bit to look at. First thing of note is this guy and his sister; they have quite a bit to say, but the reason I bring him up is that at some point in the French version (and only that one as far as I’m aware), he name-drops Corto Maltese by saying he wants to be a sailor, like him.

For anyone who may not be aware, Corto Maltese is the titular character from a cult classic Italian adventure comic series by Hugo Pratt. Even though it never really became a huge mainstream name, it was still very popular, especially in the seventies it seems. As a result, you probably won’t be surprised to hear it often gets pretty psychedelic, not to mention the art style is rather unusual (but gorgeous) to begin with.

Corto is indeed a sailor, although I don’t remember him ever actually doing much sailing (not that I have read many of the albums although I do recommend them), to the point that in the movie adaptation (which, much like the comics, is excellent yet very obscure), he claims his sailor hat was a gift, and he always ends up embroiled in massive adventures and conspiracies, somewhere between Indiana Jones and James Bond.

And as I alluded to, although the comic is pretty famous, it’s still fairly obscure so it’s pretty amazing to see it brought up in Final Fantasy of all things.

If you talk to this kid, whom is playing hide-and-seek, he tells Squall to go away in both versions, but there’s a slight difference. In English, the kid calls him “mister,” which surprises Squall a bit and he replies that he’s only 17. In French though, the kid calls the group “old guys” and Squall understandably gets more upset about it. Either way, I do love how that’s one of the few things that gets him to explicitly react to what an NPC is saying. Guess even he can’t always be above vanity.

Here’s a bit I love. When you talk to the guy in the green vest and you tell him the town hasn’t changed, he then starts to recognize you as the kids who were being chased the giant robot spider (or robo-crab, as the French version puts it). You then get two options. The English ones are fairly standard: either “don’t know” or “can’t say who, but we know.”

The French one got a bit cute with it, and your choices are “Not at all, What robo-crab?” and “It was our brothers and sisters...”. If you pick the first answer, it’s also different. In English, he just says it’s his job to make repairs. In French, he says “forget it, I got you confused with those 3 kids who destroyed the town”.

Not sure why he’s blaming it on them though, considering it’s Galbadia who did it during the whole “invasion of your dukedom that these kids actually helped stop” thing. At most you could argue Seifer disobeying orders is what led to the Galbadians launching the robot, but that wouldn’t be the other kids’ fault. Also, that’s something to think about when you talk to that little girl by the beach who says she wants her mommy back.

But anyway, if you pick the other option, he more or less says the same thing, except in French, he of course says to tell their siblings they owe the town money and on top of that, while the English version has him mention the specific sum of  1 370 000 gils, the French one rounds it out to 1 000 000.

Next is the painter’s house. Couple things here. First, in the French version, the grandpa explicitly says he’s going to spank the kid if he keeps messing with his paintings, whereas the English version had him says something about “cuchi-cuchi-coo” his neck, which frankly sounds worse. However, in both versions, in the last part of this quest, the grandpa does mention tickling the kid as “punishment”.

Also, in the English text, the kid says adding the white bones are his way of expressing himself and to be novel and original. In French, he just says that in comics, dogs always have a bone in their mouths, so why couldn’t Rex have one?

Finally, after you’ve ended the quest, the grandpa gives different lines depending on versions. In English, he figures that maybe he should have played with the kid more so he wouldn’t be so bored and trying to get his attention, but that he’s too old for sports, and is considering poker instead (so card games other than Triple Triad do exist in this universe!).

In French, he says he’ll stop including dogs on his landscapes and that he’ll try painting cats instead, though he’s afraid the kid will start painting fish bones.

Also, while the kid feels like he’s grown a little from being able to express himself in English, the French one says he’s gonna stop his pranks and that he wants to be a veterinarian, now.

In the bar, there are some changes in what the guy in the white shirt says. In English, he says it’s nice to have a drink after work, and his friend asks him what he’s talking about since he’s always drinking there. Then, if you talk to him again, either he or his friend drunkenly mentions playing ball.

In French, it’s kind of the opposite, as he asks for his last drink of the day, only for his friend to point out it’s only 7 in the morning (which still seems early to start drinking to me, but hey, you do you and your liver problems). Bizarrely, if you talk to him again, he says it’s time for his first cognac of the day, and his friends asks what he’s talking about since he finished the bottle an hour ago.

Speaking to the friend, we have a choice. In English, the prompt is “Yeah, that’s so true...” and the choices are “What is?” and “Yeah... sure...”. If you pick the first, he says life is nicer during peacetime. If you pick the second, he advises not to eat off the floor.

In French, the prompt is roughly “I needed that” and the answers are “What?” and “that hits the spot”. If you pick the first, he asks how many drinks an hour make you an alcoholic. If you pick the second, he says he doesn’t feel too good.

Boy, that sure was a rousing conversation! Let’s talk to the lady on the left.

In both versions, she laments the fact that the rich young men in the dukedom are all married, then asks Squall what he thinks of her. Surprisingly, the answers are the exact same in both versions, but the woman’s reactions are quite different.

In English, picking “you’re very attractive” has her say maybe she should go for older men. In French, it has her say that while it’s true, only perverts like her. And then there’s the much ruder “Are you really a woman?!”. In English, she tries to laugh it off, saying she’s not his type, only to turn around and mumble to herself, wondering how Squall know (s)he was a man. Her French counterpart gets more offended, complaining about all the men she spends at beautician. After she turns around, she makes the more subtle remark that he must have a 6th sense.

WELP. Not opening THAT can of worms.

Next, that female NPC who says she’s window-shopping. In English, she then asks Squall if he has a problem with that (not sure why he would, but okay). In French, she asks him if he wants to buy her something.

In the town Square, we have this guy. In French, he says that due to taxes as a result of hiring SeeD, he’s gonna have to sell his cards collection, which is far nicer than in English, where he said "Better get ma young bride and start havin’ children”. What the actual fuck, dude?!

In the hotel, the two employees have a weird accent which I think is supposed to be vaguely German, but I’m not sure. In the English version, only the one in the back has any sort of special speech pattern, and it’s just a habit of saying “y’all”. Either way, more accent shenanigans.

And here we have one of the strangest differences yet, to the point it actually caught me off guard because I didn’t remember that text in French at all, and for good reasons since it says something completely unrelated! Right, so if you beat that guy in the upper floor of the bar, he’ll invite you to his private room(or secret room in French), where he’ll give you some cards and you can find some of other stuff.

There are also several piles of books, and when checking one of them, you’ll find what is presumably the previous owner’s diary telling a truly harrowing tale of meeting a woman who kept beating him at Triple Triad, eventually marrying her and having a daughter with her, but it ends with her trying to save their daughter from drowning, only to drown herself. It ends with the bleak statement that neither the daughter or he himself can comprehend their loss. Jesus Christ! Even for a Final Fantasy game, that’s dark.

But in the French version, it seems to just be a collection of random thoughts. For example, it first says that his son is studying the Sorceress War (one of the few times Sorceresses are referred to as such in French, instead of “priestesss”), and how he doesn’t understand any of it in spite of having lived it, then he ponders why extraterrestrials in movies always look like animals, and that maybe it’s because humans are bestial in nature as well, concluding that being at the pub sometimes feel like being at a zoo.

It just fascinates me that it could be so different. I can’t fathom what caused this and it’s one of those things that really makes me curious about other versions.

To make this even more baffling, if you check another book pile, the text is very similar, including a bit about Laguna coming along and getting his ass kicked at cards. Interestingly though, in the English version, he can’t quite remember his name, simply remembering it started with Lag, and says an easy win doesn’t leave much of an impression, but in French, he calls him La Gouma and says he’s a “nice guy, but sucks at cards”.

And now we can continue onward to Deling City! First little thing, when asking Caraway about Edea, in the French text, he says that he fears her influence will lead to “a new world war”. Now, the French version does use the term “sorceress war”, so it’s interesting to see him also refer to it as a world war, and it seems fitting for a serious military type.

Another interesting tidbit comes when you ask him about Esthar. For starters, in English, he says that Esthar took over the world under Adel, which isn’t mentioned in French and I don’t remember being said at any other point. This makes me wonder if that was a strange decision on the English translator’s part, but that does make sense as Esthar making it to part of the Galbadian continent would explain why they’re even at war, why Galbadia started invading other countries and forcing them into their army, and even why Galbadian people where paranoid of Sorceresses before Edea.

At the same time, the French version also has an interesting detail, where they mention that even after Esthar went silent, relationships between the two nations remained strained, alluding to the situation turning from a world war to a cold war situation. He also theorizes that perhaps this is due to Galbadia being jealous of Esthar’s technological success and the efficiency of their democracy. Compelling, although I do wonder how Galbadia would know about “the efficiency of Esthar’s democracy” since it stopped all contact with the outside world right after Adel was dethroned.

There isn’t a huge difference in what the various NPCs say, but this one’s pretty intriguing. In French, she just says that she heard a sorceress can transfer her powers to the person of their choosing. In English though, she explicitly says that she learned in the Garden that any person can receive a sorceress’ power, and I thought that’s obviously wrong since it’s stated multiple times that only women can inherit such powers,

But just as I thought that, the next speech box has her explain that while she did go to Garden, she wasn’t a very good student, which would explain why she wouldn’t have gotten it completely right.Cleverly done. Also, I like the implication that the average person isn’t all that aware of exactly what sorceresses are and how their powers work. It’s an interesting treatise on the link between fear, admiration and ignorance.

In fact, reading what the Deling City citizens have to say about Edea and how they blindly believe she’ll lead the country to greatness because she’s tough, promises a renaissance for their country and that even the smaller guys wild be able to make it is fascinating in general... and disturbingly true to real dictatorships.

There’s a small difference I find amusing where in English, one NPC says that people like Edea because “people follow strength, not charisma” whereas contrariwise, the same guy says in French that “Edea is much more charismatic than old Deling”.

ANd here’s a guy who straight-up calls Edea their Messiah in French!In Eglish, he just says he now know he has to abide by Edea after feeling a surge of energy during the parade (which might allude to at least partial mind control).

And finally, we finish with this NPC, whom in the English version, says she’s been sending Edea fan mail daily, but in French, she says, that she hopes Edea will publish a magic cookbook. Which does sound awesome, but unlikely. To be fair, what she says is literally “book of magical recipes”, so she may be referring to like, potions and stuff, but I prefer to believe she means how to use magic to enhance the flavour of your dishes.

And so we reach the end of our first part dedicated entirely to side content and my God there was way more stuff to cover than I ever expected. I hope you enjoyed it because I certainly found a lot of these differences very interesting. As always, if you enjoyed this post, reblogging it would be very appreciated, do not hesitate to commentate or send me asks, maybe even suggest things you’d like to see that I may have missed, and I’ll be seeing you next time for part 19, where we return to Balamb City. Have a nice day, everyone!

[newsiegirlscout]

FHFIF Headcanons

HEADCANON TIME!!! Woo-hoo!

Today, I was thinking I’d ramble on a headcanon roll about this show by the name of Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends. It was really amazing while it ran, and all-in-all was completely underrated. I just finished the last episode two weeks or so ago and, since I’m still in shock over it, well....the best thing to do with sadness and joy and nostalgia is to give it to the Internet, right? Right! So-onto the headcanons!

MAC

--When Mac gets older, he gets a job at Foster’s, much to the delight of the friends. (He used to joke about his shift ending at 2:59 just to freak out Bloo. Frankie still cleans everything, so Mac’s job is mostly cooking and messing around anyway. Y’know, keeping the more active imaginary friends busy. That, and reading bedtime stories-he has an awesome “scary” voice, but in a silly way, like Mojo Jojo.).

---Mac’s favorite flavor of ice cream is chocolate fudge with caramel and milk chocolate sprinkles. He gains control of his sugar intolerance somewhat when he’s around fourteen....but still goes hyper if he has too much. (Say, the normal sugar-hyped slight bounce for anyone else is Mac’s sugar rush.)

---Mac never actually retired his bookbag. It was intentionally way too large for  a second-grader’s homework load, so he could hide his most prized possessions from Terrence- or, at least, always keep them on his person. (On a regular day, his bag can be found holding his laptop, wallet, pictures of Frankie, library card, marbles, key chain, and water pistol. Yeah, that’s the water pistol that makes him look like an Ironman villain.) When he left for college, everybody at Fosters signed his bookbag. 

---He skipped more than a few grades. In fact, he was in a school for gifted children during the length of the series-which explains why an eight-year-old was writing an essay on the presidents. 

---Mac writes the most flowery, beautiful free-verse poetry you have ever seen. Once, it got published and he won a reward for it, but was still utterly embarrassed when the newspaper arrived at Fosters. He even snuck out around four AM to grab both his and Foster’s papers, but found Mr. Herriman calmly reading it in his study. (Herriman gave his highest stamp of approval-i.e; straightening his monocle, cleaning the lens, and remarking, “By jove!” 

---He tends to wear his hair long when he gets older-that, and typically going unshaven until Mr. Herriman tells him he looks like he’s about to attend a woodstock festival. 

---Additionally, Mac has fluffy, perpetually-askew hair because of his tendency to run his fingers through it when in stress or when he’s thinking. (Frankie’s hair is spiky for the same reason.) 

---He’s a hugger. Always has been, always will be.

---Mac, even as an adult, only prefers (as reading material) Science fiction, action, comedy, and comic books; for viewing, he prefers old movies, comedy films, and cartoons. A lot of cartoons. As in, about 63.547% of the animated films in the DVD case are movies that Mac hauled over at some point or another during his job and intentionally left there. (They all have his name in sharpie on a neat label pressed onto the back.)

FRANKIE FOSTER

--Frankie more or less decided a long time ago that she’s aromantic. The closest thing she’ll allow to love is the filial bond between her and the imaginary friends.

--Her favorite ice cream flavor is pineapple rum. (Yes, that’s a thing.) If any of the younger friends are with her, though, she orders mango. 

---She possesses a secret love for the color pink. She tends not to show it too much, as she feels it’s demeaning to her maturity, but otherwise, it’s her favorite color in the world. 

---Frankie grew up with the Foster’s imaginary friends. Her job started when Madame Foster occasionally asked her to do little chores around the house- say, rocking a baby friend to sleep or washing a pot -so that, by the time she turned fifteen and wanted to get a career so as to earn more cash, she was a first choice caretaker for Foster’s Home. 

--Frankie used to love those little toys that come in cereal boxes. She would eat bowls upon bowls of Choco-Frosted Sugar Bombs Trix and Captain Crunch, etc., until she was on sugar rushes to put Mac’s to shame so she’d get the toy and be able to get another box of cereal as soon as possible. (Her favorites were the superhero rings;((Does anybody else remember those? I feel like those were really big for a while, little plastic rings with superhero emblems?)); she once got so many, she could hook them together into a crown.)

--She loves the arcade games in an almost abnormal way. When she was about nine, she got the high score on Tetris, Paperboy, Centipede, and quite a few others. She is most often the one who will drive friends to the arcade and treat them to tokens partially so she can show off her gaming skills at the classics. (Bloo: “So by classics, you mean Halo and Call of Duty?” Frankie: “ No. The real classics. Defender. Pac-man. Astroids. Games you play in an arcade which was a building outside of your house. You would go there with your friends, listen to music, cute guys everywhere. In ancient times, they call it 'socializing'. “)

Madame Foster

--There are quite a few episodes in the series where an imaginary friend spends money. That was Madame Foster at work-when the house first opened, she distributed around five hundred dollars among the friends. With the addition of a hundred dollars every two years or so, that same cache has been circulating for years. (The trick being that they only spend it inside the house.)

---Madame Foster’s favorite ice cream flavor is butterscotch with caramel, chocolate syrup, rainbow sprinkles, whipped cream, and frosting. (What, you’ve never put frosting on a bowl of ice cream before? My sincerest sympathies.) Typically, she’ll get the chocolate-dipped cone, then have the server put it in a cup for her, so she has a large bowl of ice cream with all the toppings and a fancy cone on top of it all. (Mac starts to shake just looking at it.)

---Madame Foster has managed to scare the horror buffs senseless with her dramatic readings of existing stories, not to mention re-tellings of her own writing.

---Her room is full of stuffed animals. Enough stuffed animals to bury herself in. It is not exactly uncommon to find a stuffed animal hiding somewhere in the house. (Looking for a book? Whoop! A plush cat already beat you to it! Want some pancakes? Seems a small rainbow llama is already on it.)

---Madame Foster also harbors a love for cartoons. The other 44.453% of the animated films are hers. For reading material, she enjoys comedies, including a lot of old storybooks. (Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle, Black Beauty, Treasure Island, Little Men...et cetera.) She also loves reading the occasional horror story or adventure. (Do you think she’d enjoy All the Light We Cannot See? Yeah, I think so too. Then again, that was an amazing and beautiful bit of literature. Everybody go read All the Light We Cannot See.)

Mr. Herriman

---Mr. Herriman gives the cuddliest hugs. Receiving a hug from Mr. Herriman, especially when you’re somewhere around stomach-level, is the equivalent of sticking your face into a litter of warm kittens. Unfortunately, he’s not too big on hugging.

---Eduardo is by far his (secret) favorite. 

---His favorite ice cream flavor is butter almond, (and yes, he does take all the almonds out individually before consuming it), though he usually prefers a slice of carrot cake with cream cheese frosting. 

---He doesn’t actually understand Coco’s “language”. He tends to get the gist of what she’s saying primarily through another friend, Madame Foster, or Frankie, but otherwise feels a bit lonesome in that he’s the only person in that universe who isn’t fluent in it. 

---He’s a fairly pleasant conversationalist, though he likes things to be run in such an orderly manner to the point of everyone seemingly hating him in a not-exactly-inconspicuous way. This in turn can make him slightly irritated, gaining him a reputation for his short temper and high standards.

---He LOVES bad puns on an almost-sinful level.

---He also prefers classic tales, romances, and adventure dramas in both viewing and reading entertainment. And yes, when watching a movie, he is That Person ™ who insists on popping popcorn over the fire and turning on subtitles.

BLOO

---Bloo was originally created as a vehicle for Mac to say and do whatever he wanted without having to worry about getting in trouble. (For example, getting to give the snarky response to Terrence and getting away with it.) He also created Bloo as a way to prove to his mom that he was responsible enough to take care of something. (This is NOT my headcanon, though I strongly support it.)

---Bloo was the one who found the secret passages to the Secret Library, the Secret Gaming Room, and The Secret Secret Room. He also found all nineteen secret drawers in each (One of which concealed a stuffed canary named Rod Tango!) on various Adopt-a-Thought Saturdays. (Once or twice, Mac didn’t actually find him and ended up playing with the B-team-or, in other words, the members of Pizza Party.)

---Bloo’s favorite ice cream  flavor is cookies-and-cream-birthday-cake. (No, that’s not actually a flavor; he usually just gets two orders and shmushes them together into one BIG ice cream ball). Additionally, if possible, he’ll top it with M&Ms, whipped cream, chocolate syrup, caramel syrup, butterscotch, gummy bears, rainbow and chocolate sprinkles, crushed Oreos, mini peanut butter cups, and, of course, frosting- but never, never, never, Coconut. (”If you want to get these things done at all, you have to get them done right!”) So far, the only one who’s  willingly treated him was Adult! Mac and Madame Foster-otherwise, he has to go by himself. 

---His ideal adopter would be someone with year-round passes to lots and lots of amusement parks, a paddleball collection including the Automatic Paddleball, pizza every Friday, a 25-inch television with a ton of video games (”No, 50-inch! Wait, is 75-inch a thing? How about we just do like in that nerd book Mac likes, the dys-zopia, and have the TV replace one of the walls?”), and a large freezer just for ice cream, including a retractable shelf for toppings. (I blame @askblooqkazoo for this one) :)

---He loves the Powerpuff girls. Loves, loves, LOVES it. (Bubbles is his favorite.)

WILT

---Wilt’s favorite ice cream flavor is mocha swirl, with chocolate sprinkles and a maraschino cherry. He’s always the one who treats everyone else and waits patiently until everyone has their flavors before ordering, though he tries to exclude Bloo in the most polite way possible. (”I’m sorry! You see, I can’t afford all your toppings, which I’m honestly really sorry about, I mean..I can’t apologize enough for this, really! Maybe Mac will take you out for ice cream if you ask him nicely?”) He refuses to let someone else buy ice cream for him, so behind his back, Adult! Mac and Madame Foster built a mini freezer that looks like a backpack and has a special rack for ice cream, not to mention the extra two canisters of whipped cream and carton of chocolate sprinkles, just so they could treat him to an ice cream cone without his objection.

---Nobody ever actually put a nameplate on Wilt’s bed, because he always prefers to sleep under the floor. He always has ever since Bloo came-Wilt mainly just wants a monopoly on a bed so he can steal the blankets off it in the winter.

---He is fully aware of how brash he can get in later episodes, so he builds up his “Sorry!” to compensate, until it became, “I’m sorry-if that’s okay!”

---He once got a PhD to help out a struggling college student by tutoring him in neuroscience and quadratic equations. (Yes, he never quite got the hang of it until Wilt taught him.)

COCO

---Coco dabbles in the dark arts. (Check the Wiccan Spellbook she was reading in “Fools and Regulations.”)

---Coco knows something the rest of you don’t. Don’t believe her? Look again, she may have noticed that detail you completely passed over. Maybe it’s just the orange juice in the fridge that’s a day past the expiration date; maybe it’s the ending of the world before your eyes. 

---No one is quite sure what ice cream flavor Coco likes the best. Whenever she goes to the ice cream parlor, she’ll say a few phrases and give a slight nod to the server. No matter who, they always come back with an elaborate sundae, topped with a firecracker, at the price of a regular ice cream cone. 

---Coco is an amazing actress. Just amazing. She once got a role in a high-budget movie for her acting skills. (Not to mention that, once the director came to the door asking for her, she laid a pair of reading glasses and went through every single page of the contract. Then, once satisfied, she laid a silver ballpoint pen and signed it-though by then, the director was on his phone, scrolling through random web pages. “Ya done yet?” “CoCo Cococo Co!” “Well, of course I’m not going to put you in a cage and make you perform for long hours with no sleep! Whaddya think I am, the guy from those Deo commercials?”)

---Nerds (See the “Good Wilt Hunting” Nerds) believe that she was created by a very confused islander child, possibly one who has never seen contact with another human being. She is part plane because of the occasional air crafts passing the island, part bird because of the exotic tropical life, and does not speak English because the child never learned how and instead made up a language that only they could understand. 

EDUARDO

---Once, Eduardo got his picture taken with the actress of Lauren Goes Explorin’. (And got it autographed!) He was super excited about it, and eventually got it framed with the same heavy-duty frame that Frankie used to mount her cereal-box ring crown.)

---His favorite ice cream flavor is bubblegum, partially because of the color (”Pink is my favorite! I like it muy, muy, much!) and partially because of the fact that it’s candy as well as ice cream, so he can take out the bubblegum balls and put them in a separate cup for his Malibu Mimi dolls. 

---Wilt is his favorite, though Adult! Mac comes close. (He eventually learned to settle petty disputes, Frankie-style (A la’ Destination Imagination), so he takes care of most of those-often tipping a Bloo/Eduardo argument in favor of Eduardo while still making Bloo satisfied with the outcome.) 

---Eduardo’s tears do not dehydrate him, nor are they made of salt water. He doesn’t even sniffle beforehand, unless he’s trying really hard not to cry-whenever he’s upset, he just gives a stream of fresh water from his eyes. 

---Yep. He’s a hugger. Was there ever any question?

---Eduardo’s strength was added so he could pick up and cuddle people easily. Nina’s parents have quite a few photos of him carrying her home from a late, late rehearsal, school play, or day-long trip to the park while she sleeps peacefully in his arms.

---No, he doesn’t run out of energy when walking long distances or running. His feet sometimes hurt slightly from pounding the floor too long if he’s been running, but he always has the energy to run, or fight. 

GOO

--Goo has actually wrapped her lunch like a present before. (Her usual lunch consists of a bag of chips, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a cupcake she injected with more icing in the center, an apple, and a juice box. It has been observed by Mac jokingly as being “strangely normal.”) She only does it for special occasions, (It makes everyone jealous around Christmas until they see why she brought it to lunch.), though Goo includes “The third Tuesday of March” and “August thirteenth” as major holidays. 

---Goo likes to celebrate her birthday at Foster’s whenever possible. She additionally actually likes Cheese, because she thinks he’s funny and she’s good with him, so he’s almost always helping her open presents or eating streamers as she decorates the table

---Her favorite ice cream flavor is rainbow sherbet, but she also likes (”blueberry, gold ribbon, cookies and cream, and birthday cake! Well, really I like almost every flavor except not coffee since that one’s really gross and I also sometimes make up flavors that I think they should have, like gummy bear sprinkles, and then sometimes there are flavors that sound made up except they’re really not, like pizza and pear with blue cheese, ew, isn’t that gross? Oh! And did I tell you about my idea for an ice cream burrito where instead of the cone, they make it a tortilla instead with the sugar cone stuff?”) She’s definitely the person where, if she’s alone with a month’s allowance, she’ll try to stack the scoops as high as possible and roll each one in a bowl of toppings. (She prides herself on the fact that she once got the server to coat three scoops in gummy bears, rainbow sprinkles, and chocolate chips respectively, and even got him to pour some gummy bears in the cone.) If she’s with someone else, and they’re treating, she’ll just get rainbow sherbet.

---She’s not a hugger. She’s affectionately physical in other ways-friendly slaps on the back, pats on the head, fixing someone else’s shirt collar-but doesn’t really hug a lot. She’s more of a high-fiver, to be honest. 

---When she gets older, she has everybody write a story about Foster’s in an anthology she publishes under the name “Hillary-Britney “Lollipop” Starr”. (Involuntarily included? Mac’s poetry.)

---Goo is the karaoke queen. 

GENERAL

--The soda fountain guy has been through everything. (If you need further proof, just look at the way he casually throws out Mac when he orders all those milkshakes...all, “Dude, I make seven bucks an hour. I’ve seen it all.”)

---Cheese was created with an innate sense of technology. He actually knew full-well what he was doing when he memorized the code to the electronic security system, and sometimes, Frankie has to ask him for his help when fixing her computer. (Usually with her head in her hands while Cheese jumps up and down on the chair and says “No no no, you put too much stuff in the computer! Throw some away! See in the hard drive? See, see, see, see, see? That’s why it’s so slowwwww!”)

---It is impossible to accidentally create an imaginary friend. It’s more of a left-brained thing than a technical thing, and you usually have to have a pretty clear idea of their personality beforehand. Goo’s imagination works at ten miles a minute, so she is the one exception.

---Imaginary friends do not age. Friends like Scrappy (Remember that little guy with the Brooklyn accent and Victorian clothing? That was one of my favorites..) are deemed older by how long they’ve been at Foster’s and how much they’ve matured emotionally. 

---Larry John McGee (Goofball’s creator) had a very silly sense of humor in creating Goofball. He wanted his friend to act as a big brother, and knew that if he ever got lost, he’d go to Foster’s for help and weird out the staff. Goofball did almost all of what he was doing with a straight face to make everyone else in the house laugh when Frankie pulled off his rubber nose to reveal...an imaginary friend. 

---Youngman Rivers actually turned out to be a pretty cool guy when he got older. 

---Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends did not go away after the series finale. Foster’s lives on with many more adventures of its own, including more and more characters as time goes on, until Mac grew into an adult, still coming to tackle Bloo on the first floor every day.

[ladysuetini]

Guest Post: Your Biggest Influences In 2018 Will Be Buried In Three (3) Garlands

In 2018, three(3) garlands spurred by your influences will define your life. And talking about your life, I mean the two states that makes a man get off from bed to work his butt off. It is your Happiness and Unhappiness states – (sad state).

These two states we know are capable of turning the table upside down. People get happy and do wonderful things, the same people get furious and do logical things. Not just normal things, I am talking about circumstances if observed under the microscope does not wear a baby diaper.  

For some of us, our garland will be bad business/partnership, relationship (intimate), sources of information taken in. And to some, it will be the struggle to define the mission and visions of their lives.

You know,

One of the troubling garlands in the world now is the ability for relationships to stick. We hear of the separation game – divorces as frequent as if we are reading new blogs posts. And the most amazing thing is that we take it for granted.

Helloooo, we are in 2018. If you don’t manage that particular relationship you are in now. Not only will you be unhappy – manageable though. Your garland will affect someone you don’t want to hear. Just think about it.

See the shocking statistics.

A recent lecture, marriage expert Hellen Chen asserted that 85 percent of relationships end in a break up. Seeing as only the elite few relationships end in marriage, and 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, this really can’t come as too much of a shock to anyone. Yet, still we trudge on, hoping the next one is the one that will do the trick.

While I am no professor of intimate relationships- Let me give you a clearer example.

In case you were excited to have a sweet sixteen or thirty as the case may be, and suddenly, you got stuck or frustrated on the way – things not really working as planned.  

To you, you thought it was just going to the win bar and downloading your heart. The usual lines – I am madly in love with you. Luckily, she said yes!

Fast track to 30 days, she became bored around you.  Oh, my! Believe me, you never saw that coming. Predicted, the next question is where did I get it all wrong? Don’t get it twisted because I will tell you.

Before I answer you. A quick hack for people that always look for love with desperation.

Be careful of what you ask for else, you might go from where you were (your stable state) to where you didn’t want to be (your worst state).

[Tweet "Be careful of what you ask for else, you might go from where you were (your stable state) to where you didn’t want to be (your worst state). "]

At this point, it is only Jack Canfield (AMAZON AFFILAITE LINK - THE BOOK - HOW TO GET FROM WHERE YOU ARE TO WHERE YOU WANT TO BE) that will salvage you.

Answering your question now.

Where you went wrong, right?

You got it all wrong when your desperation turned you a by go man. That is to say. You always wanting to see your date. Imagine hanging around your date from 17th November 2017 (she accepted your proposal) till 5th December 2017 without missing a day. Is that fair, what about her space, what about the sense to miss you? No wonder you were single on December 10th2017. Lol.

You got it wrong when you forgot a love language that says “Always give a girl her space, especially when you’re trying to woo her. Don’t keep bumping into her intentionally, avoid constantly staring at her each time she’s talking to another guy, and stop calling her every night. Give her the chance to miss you around”,

Okay, that’s it. A great hack for newbies. Always bear it in mind, most people do not like too a clingy person.

Now, you may ask how this is relevant. It is because it is one of the garlands that can influence your happy or sad state in 2018. Just imagine breaking up on 25th December. Wouldn’t it be nice to wear a black and black; sac-cloth than a red and white? Haaha!

 YOUR BIGGEST GARLAND INFLUENCES

While we have already specified some garlands, ours for consideration will be tied to three - business/partnership, relationship (intimate), and information take-ins.

You may ask why the three.

From observation, almost every of man’s biggest problems has always come from those neighborhoods.

If unhappy in a relationship, business partnership not working out, believe me further misgiving information taken in can make things even dirtier.

So, a man’s life is tied mostly to those three. And if their garlands will be influenced, these three need be questioned.

Garland

Garland is simply a state, a bucket you find yourself at a particular time. Of course, it can be more or less a state of mind.

Although Isuamfon Offiong explained how and why you should reveal your sheets in 2018 for total wholeness, I want to stress a little bit about it.

Your concealed sheets can be your biggest influence in 2018 which will disrupt your garland.  There is no need to be ashamed because we all have our sheets. Some were caused by us and some just happen because they are sheets.

The most mitigating effect is that we can’t be happy with our concealed sheets. At least not for 2018. I revealed my sheets and got wholeness. You as well can learn and get it down without being ashamed.

 GARLAND 1

Your Relationships

I don’t know the level and type of relationship you are in right now. The big deal however is, it can be your biggest influence – a determinant of your sad happy states.

Without mixing words, I know that love can make men blind or act irrationally. And the next moment will be suicide if not tamed. I still remember those years back then when I had a fight with my sweet sixteen in high school. We fell apart and I was quick to finalize everything which was; that’s it, we are done!

Don’t take the later too serious because I was the one that first picked up my flat 2008 Motorola cell phone and called her.

But there was a twist. In a fight I was supposed to be the offended. I turned the accused. My offense? For saying it was over! Just over an issue I was supposed to be a fair hearer.

 The thing was that I couldn’t just stand being sick for my sweet sixteen's love. And the only choice left on the table was the reconciliation.

In case you want to follow the rather path, Isuamfon Offiong will soon post three (3) unforgivable gifts you can give your enemies in 2018.

See, if at a teenage level, I could run amok with my feelings, how much more those that are courting and married? So, no need to establish further how (our relationships) it can influence us, right?.

The best option now is knowing your sheets and playing the cards because everybody at one point in time had their bad relationship garland. The simple hack is both parties working on themselves.

If you two won’t do this together, forget about mending. Because doing your part from one angle will put a wholesome question and demand on the other partner. This will be the effect of not doing it together.

You learn a particular relationship concept (a need for your man to fulfill). You wait for him to know it and act. But this is 3 years still waiting. In 2018, you have already decided that on January 11th, you will blow it off.

One advice please. Instead of blowing it off on his ignorant, it is better you reveal his sheets to him, thank you.

 The Virtue: How To Work It Out

 #1. Commit to Working Together

If you don’t want the relationship to be your biggest influenced garland, you can commit to working together with your partner.  

If he does not want to collaborate. I’m just wondering if he wants it to work after all.

 #2. Don’t Be Judgmental

It is not easy to pass this test most especially if your partner gives you every reason to judge him or her.

While humans are just another free moral agents, being judgmental can belittle you if at the end of the day, what you concluded was vague.

Of course, I know it is still not easy not to judge when you are taken for granted. If you would hear me out, one thing that can make you a better person is watching things closely before showing the red card - conclusion.

 #3. Don’t Over Exaggerate

I don’t really know if exaggeration is same as being judgmental, but I have in my relationship learned not to always Over Exaggerate – not even a bit again.

Why?

My guesses are always wrong.

Hang on! I will give you a big picture - an example.

This is it.

I can immediately exaggerate that my girlfriend doesn’t want to pick my calls just because I called 3 times without a pickup. That’s super easy to get me upset, mostly if the situational report was important (lol-situation report).

At such an event, it is easy to be influenced into over exaggerating that she didn’t want to pick my calls or something. But the REALITY?

After it all. I will find out that the phone was charged at the barbers’ shop. (Just hoping that is a great example).

Believe me, even though I don’t have a hot or black blood to over reacting, some folks can call the relationship up if that happens more often.

 #4. Put Yourself In Her Shoe

Reading this heading, so many people will feel some guilt inside of them.

Why?

 Because they overreacted and so, dissolve a relationship that took an understanding of 10 damm years to build. They are guilty because if they had put their shoe in their partner’s sandals, they would have understood what It means to wear a rubber sandal with robes all over (kind of shoe worn by those that nailed Jesus on the cross).

So, the next time you will be influenced by this garland, Put Yourself in Her Shoe and vice versa – if thou be a lady.

 #5. Reveal & Talk About Your Anger

It isn’t wise to pile up hate and anger against your partner. If she has done something wrong. The matter is very simple. We have a mouth, unless we don't want to.

But if you will, simply call her and settle it up. At least it is better than being influenced to dwell at the sad or bitter garland.

 GARLAND 2

Your Business/Partnership

How many have tried and failed? I mean partnering in business – two people agreeing to manage the same venture.  I am just wondering who wants to be outplayed…

While that is established, before going into business partnership with anybody, it may be wise for you two to track down your terms and conditions, benefits, percentages, profit stretches and other add-ons in front of your attorneys, signed and sealed.

This is so important because apart from making you sad, you can be sure of death if the card is played wrongly. Else, a nonstructural partnership is not what you need in 2018.

But the real deal?

Instead of having your head cut off out of jealousy or strive, it is better to start up your own business. In case you are worried of the source of startup capital. You can access how to get it now.

 GARLAND 3

Information Taken In

 In 2017, I don’t know how the information you took in affected you, but for me, an article that was so controversial in 2017 was the one that read “5 Definitive Scammy Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Believe Or Invest In Bitcoin”.

To my surprise, the article pulled up to 60+ comments. Now, this article is just one of its kind, the type of information that is a determinant of your success or failure. (Depending on your stretch of dealings).

That being said, the type of information and the sources you will get them from will insanely affect your mind. If Negative, you will be pushed act on them.

Not just that, after being received, it will weigh you down. And if it weighs you down, it will sweep your feet.

In case you are wondering if it is possible. No need because it is evident. Out of the heart, the mouth speaketh. Also, out of the piles of negative information received (not 2018 again please), the mouth will still speak, but this time with actions. 

You know, it is easy to read a News Tabloid and be negative, enraged and suddenly, you start accusing everybody and blaming the government for your misfortunes.

One thing you don’t realize sometimes is that people wake up to write rubbish and garbage. And we the “Nat Go Wild Information Adventures” will stripe it open even the more, internalize them, and become so negative and self-destructible to the next person. Please watch Out!

If you will hear me out. Most of the gossips and information you read online, they are wrong and are as false as a blackened pot. People just incubate information to become popular and you from your end internalize them and become so enraged.

Now, that influence (source of information taken in) will turn your garland from sadness, unhappiness to malice and hate. And believe me, a person of hate is capable of anything if not controlled.

As always, I will affirm. Be careful of what you ask for. The information you ask for, read because it can par or mar thee in 2018 and your garland submerged.

I can attest that reading this blog - suetanyamchorgh.com/ is great. Also Bizdynamicx.com

But if you were lost at some point,

At this point, you need these 5 Restructuring Books To Restructure Your Mind For 2018 if it had gone ablaze in 2017. The books are to be read before 20th of January. The reason is to set your mind apart for the good tidings of 2018.

 CONCLUSION

Your biggest influences in 2018 will tie to three garlands you cherish most. These garlands evidently has the power to blow your mind negatively. Imagine failing in relationship, business partnership and getting all the free garbage online. You are mostly done for!

I don’t want to talk about depression because it is not a good state. These three garlands can hand pick you and depress-matize you. And your only way out will be to ask the Attitude is Everything Guy to help you.

Okay, guys. I don’t want you to miss the spark 2018 has to offer. Squarely, this should be one of our best years. Thank God, it is not late to start out.

You decide not to be pushed around and you too can decide the opposite. The fork is in your hands to winnow the threshing floor.

Last words: don’t give your best energy to these three (3) garlands (negative portions) in 2018. You can be better off  from today.

So, gird your loins and go in this thy might because year Two Thousand And Eighteen has been pecked for your greatest year.

Act and know God is on ya side. #Success #Bizdynamicx.

About Isuamfon

Isuamfon Offiong is A Value Placed Orator, Writer at BIZDYNAMICX and a Graduate of Civil Engineering. In my community, no one is an under achiever, that’s why I write value placed posts on the Dynamicx of How-to-Productivity, Business, Crypto-finance and Income Ritual.

[pixietenenbaum]

I’d be willing to bet that each and every one of you reading this owns at least one MAC product.  Whether it’s the iconic Ruby Woo lipstick (the perfect matte red, seriously, try it) or makeup bag staple Strobe Cream, there’s no doubting MAC is a favourite amongst Makeup Artists, Models and yes, regular people the world over.  The brand’s infamous Vival Glam collaborations have even been known to stop traffic.

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If you’re a makeup lover, you’ll have experienced the frustration of fighting through the swarms of teenagers who monopolise the MAC counter on a weekend and you’ll understand the joy of finding your perfect Mineralise foundation shade.  Yes, MAC really is THAT rollercoaster, but when you hit your stride and find YOUR hero products, you’ll sharpen your elbows and become a counter pro.

If you’re ‘makeup curious’ in that you love the thought of creating looks but aren’t really sure how to experiment, or are intimidated by the huge choice of shades and finishes, then a select few MAC counters have a little trick up their sleeve that was tailor made for you……

Enter the MAC Party.  Cue fanfare and streamers because this one has been a long time coming.  The basic concept:  Grab up to 8 of your best gals, head on over to the MAC counter and you’ll have 2 MAC Makeup Artists who’ll give you expert tuition on how to create the perfect face using MAC products and brushes.  That’s right Voyeurs, MAC just played their ace card.

I was invited along to MAC House of Fraser at Intu Metrocentre to get the skinny on the MAC Party concept and to find out what other counter services MAC offer their clients.  I met Makeup Artist Josephine who treated me to ‘Makeup in 60 Minutes’, one of the counter’s most popular services, whilst we chatted.  Because my usual look is an uber bold lip and minimal eye, we opted for the reverse; a bold eye with a dewy base and nude lip.  As Josephine got to work she told me that staff are super excited about the imminent launch of MAC Party as it’s long overdue and gives artists a chance to work collaboratively with clients to create something really Bespoke and wearable.

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Whilst we’re chatting, Josephine preps my face with Mineralise super light foundation in NW20, a shade so perfect it’s barely detectable, with a pop of ‘Softly Does It’ cream blush across my cheekbones.  In a few easy steps, we have the perfect base that’s set in place with a rose scented fixing spray.

While she gets to work on creating a deep blue eye look, Josephine tells me that MAC Party has been designed as a more in depth, tuition based service.  So rather than rocking up for a special occasion and having a Makeup Artist create a look for you, this is all about learning how to create a super effective look for yourself.  It’s still a hands on service, a Makeup Artist will demonstrate on your face in front of the mirror and then you recreate it – with support obvs – simples.  Aren’t they worried it will negate the need for a makeup service?  Absolutely not says Josephine; you can never learn enough about makeup.  With new techniques, trends and products turning over faster than the seasons change, she thinks that this is a service that equips and empowers MAC clients to learn more about what works for them and is a great way to push colour boundaries.  I’ve got to say, I’m with her on that one.

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Josephine has been with MAC for long enough to know that my signature shade is Heroine, that I’m always lingering around the blue or purple lipsticks and that I’ll push the envelope when it comes to colours so I don’t hesitate when she suggests a combo of blue liner and blue mascara to highlight my green eyes.

With the rise of online makeup tutorials and younger girls looking to makeup as a career choice, we talk about how MAC Party could help younger teenagers to achieve this and also boost confidence.  My almost teenage sister is the perfect candidate for this – and at £25 per person (which is redeemable against products) it’s not out of reach for the younger market.  Makeup lovers in this age group save their pocket money to splurge on cosmetics and if they’re getting a lesson in how to apply it at the same time, everybody’s winning right?

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In exactly 60 minutes, I’m done.  Using a blend of shades Get Physical and In The Shadows, Josephine has created the perfect dramatic, blown out eye look in a rich, royal blue.  Sound scary?  It’s really not, the blue makes my green eyes pop and it’s surprisgly easy to wear as a day or evening look as it blows out into a muted copper hue (this is where MAC Party comes in handy as it teaches you how to wear shades you might not normally consider).

Got a special occasion on the horizon and want to take the hard work out of the prep?  ‘Makeup in 60 Minutes’ is the perfect solution, not only will you leave with the perfect face based on your brief, but you’ll also be given a crib sheet with every product used for reference.

There’s also an express makeup service which focuses on one particular aspect of makeup, think killer eyes, or the perfect base and contour and then you top up with the bits you’re best at.  MAC Party is the special one; girls nights out, Batchelorette parties, birthday parties, basically any reason you can think of to get a group of friends together to bond over skincare and makeup.  It’s the service you never knew you needed, until now.

When I come to leave, I’m given a box containing sample sizes of everything we’ve used today and a few little extras (Matte Royals lipstick anyone?) to experiment with at home.

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Try it out for yourselves Voyeurs, its makeup, it’s personal and bespoke to you, whether it’s a natural, barely there look, or a bold, heavy made up look that you prefer, MAC’s expert Makeup Artists are there to help and advise.  All counter services are bookable at a cost which is redeemable against products so think of it like this, if you know you were going there to buy a product, why not book a service anyway?

And with that little gem, I bid you goodnight….

Pixie xo

I visited the MAC counter at House of Fraser Intu Metrocentre and was given a complimentary Makeup in 60 Minutes service which costs £55.  MAC Party is available at selected stores only and is bookable at this store by calling 0370 192 5043

  Coming Soon: The MAC Makeup Party Concept I'd be willing to bet that each and every one of you reading this owns at least one MAC product.  

[dominickcbws081]

How to Outsmart Your Peers on learning letters

The Ultimate Guide To Life Skills You Can Teach Your Kids At Home During

Incredible list curated by Jenny Rosenstrach (author of Dinner, a Love Story, amongst others) and Andy Ward, book agent extraordinaire. Has 2,000 math lessons for K-8 (Y1-Y9). It's an adaptive platform which users would usually need to pay for however you can register for 90-day complimentary trial here. Interactive math video games for ages 6-11 with quick-fire questions on everything from number bonds to increasing and dividing.

Solve math issues by collecting numbers while moving a marble through a series of mazes. In the Apple store. Extremely addictive. Uses off-screen, enjoyable activities to engage kids in building numeracy in manner ins which don't feel like school, focused on kids aged 3-9. (They also have iOS and Android apps.)Five-minute inquiries used to begin the day, take a break, or stimulate interest, with prompts like "Can turtles live outside their shells?" and "Why are rubies red?" Doug is a former grade school teacher who guides concerns, utilizes visuals, and asks concerns.

Have enjoyable and stay curious." Bless you, Doug. There's "discovery" about animals, science, history, and geography, then games with fun tests by topic (like dinosaurs, comets and meteors). However a real gem is "Primary Resources" which are discovering materials by subject (history, science, location, math, art and design, and PSHE, or personal social, health and economic education, which is a topic in the UK).

Development at its finest. Differentiated scientists blog about their advanced discoveries in accessible language for young readers, and after that kidswith the help of "science coaches"provide feedback and help the authors improve the short articles before publication. Subjects include brand-new advanced research (brand-new discovery) or core ideas, crucial ideas that are basic for understanding a clinical field.

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This typically matches researchers with classrooms, however there's a sign-up for families too. Among our coworkers says her 7-year-old son simply learnt more about fossils from taking part in this program.GEOgraphy Focus Maps, nation descriptions, flags, and more.Crash Course Children Fifth grade science made cool.Free School Brief videos about art, classical music, kids's literature, and life sciences.SciShow Children For more youthful kids (3-7) on whatever from coral reefs, why is fire hot to how to state goodbye.TheBrainScoop Emily Grassley, primary curiosity correspondent for the Field Museum in Chicago, shares the work and research study of natural history museums with the world.SciShow The tricks to what makes the universe tick.Science Max Science experiments at house. Learn more about"experiences in Raspberry Pi"or how to configure Python.Mike Likes Science Mathematics and science raps("you have two points on a line; you need an equation butit slipped your mind; slope-intercept is what you need; y= mx+b"). Need we state more? slogan is "Learn a language forever. Free."is complimentary for students for 3 months this spring. Teachers have begun offering classes online, such as these educational YouTube videos in English and Spanish.

One couple is hosting art lessons on YouTube at 2 pm ET for two weeks(beginning Mar. 16). Lessons will be archived. The beloved, acclaimed children 's book illustrator( Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus!, Knuffle Bunny, etc.)invites kids to draw together with him daily at 1 pm ET on YouTube. Yeah, envision. Up until then, this site is loaded with creative projects, videos on photography, drawing, animation, and music. Connects instructors to kids for small video.

conference classes. From Shakespearian insults, fashion style through the ages, Harry Potter-themed chemistry, fractions, and the sociology of Disney bad guys, there's something for everyone. for kids and households from Typical Sense. You've become aware of March of the Penguins, but what about Infants? Or Imba methods Sing, 2 on offer?Fun? Maybe, maybe not. However definitely a beneficial life skill. Special deal now for Covid-19.

From telling the world to War (the card video game), this is an useful list of the obvious(rock-paper-scissors )and the not-so-obvious(shoe disarray). Make them provide more!Gordon Ramsay's Ultimate Cookery Course discover to prepare. Pineapple Street Studios is inviting kids to make a podcast about their experiences being, as the title says, stuck at house. Dance while developing a sweat. Tweens like this(hold a dance-off if the brother or sister competition will not fire up WWIII). Kids may be naturally feeling sorry for themselves. Help them help themselves by assisting others with greater needs. Charity Miles is a free US mileage tracker app that contributes cash to charities based on the number of miles you stroll, run, or bike. You understand you will be telling them, and retelling them, forEver. Will make everybody feel excellent. Produce a family server and get everyone on it for some co-creation. The his staple in lots of UK homes digests and bundles the news news for tweens and just landed in the United States.

9 Simple Techniques For Home-schooling For Kids

One Quartz's worker's 11 year-old reads the magazine cover to cover and loves the video games at the end. Produced by Vermont Public Radio and hosted by radio veteran Jane Lindholm, it interviews scientists, historians, and professionals of all stripes about some of the most important issues of our https://diigo.com/0jgbxy times. Do animals get married? How are noodles made? Why do we poop and fart? Grownups are guaranteed to discover something in each episode, and to actually enjoy listening. Eliminate any assumptions about woo-woo soul searching for the kindergarten set. Hosted by a yogi with an aggressively pleasant Australian accent and a big creativity, this is an indoor workout that's fun, needs no equipment(other.

than wifi and access to YouTube), and will get their wiggles out. Free not-for-profit with courses in mathematics at all levels, in addition to science, liberal arts, test preparation, and computing. Quizlet is an app for making flashcards and diagrams. Kids can design their own or find study sets that already have actually been produced, whether by their own teacher or someone else's. It's complimentary( you can, however, purchase research study guides created for specialized exams like AP tests, the MCATs, and the CFA), and kids can flawlessly change between mobile and desktop versions.