#Wise Kraken

[spongebobsoundtrack]

Fredric Bayco - Epic Struggle Plays in:

SpongeBob SquarePants

43b. "The Bully" 

45b. "Doing Time" 

113b. "The Card"

139a. "Gramma's Secret Recipe"

228b. "Grandmum's the Word"

233b. "Krusty Kleaners"

235a. "Plankton Paranoia"

252a. "Mind the Gap"

Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years

11a. "Wise Kraken" 

25b. "Scaredy Squirrel"

[nationalhammerleague]

can you hit andre burakovsky with a hammer but he shatters into a million pieces because he's made of glass

hitting andre burakovsky with hammer

[crazysnor1ax]

Point the laser at people.

Most tame shenanigans Callie has to put up with every full moon before she starts transforming

[puckpocketed]

in my loser arc (zegras truther)

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

reading dungeon meshi

[heavensmortuary]

I gotta post the vampire!Vash AU tomorrow actually or I'll go insane

[diabeticgirl4]

man what I would do to have a visual hp tracker for everyone

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

One of the things that still really frustrates me is how we know the crew of OFMD were so intentional with cutting off any "Ed is abusive!" allegations at the knees.

There are three things from Ed's kraken spiral that we know for a fact did not make it into the show. One of them (the scene of Ed throwing a knife at Izzy) even made it into the trailer before it was cut; the other two I'm thinking of are the bts footage we have of Ed drinking heavily the night he has his last fantasy of looking at the cake toppers and a still of Ed making the bride cake topper push around the groom.

I think all three of these things were very wise to cut and it's obvious why they did it. The drinking and throwing stuff ran the risk of making Ed look too much like his abusive dad (not to mention heavy drinking tied to abusive behavior runs into deeply uncomfortable stereotypes about indigenous men like Ed), and when all we see of Ed is him gently caressing the cake topper that reminds him of Stede, it reinforces a core aspect of Ed as a person, which is how he would never, ever hurt Stede and wants nothing but gentleness and tenderness for and from him.

And it's incredibly frustrating that these things weren't enough. We're shown over and over again that Ed during the kraken spiral, right up until his mutiny-as-a-suicide-attempt, is doing normal piracy (that's why Archie is here! The only characters who are emotionally affected are the ones who know what life was like on Stede's ship!), and the only person who is actually physically harmed is Izzy (for good reason in Ed's mind; he was the trigger for the whole thing and Ed lists him along with booze and drugs as destructive influences on his life). We even get other characters say things to Stede like "do you think Blackbeard is gonna murder you" and Stede, who explicitly knows Ed better than anyone, is always like "what the fuck are you talking about? Of course not," and he's obviously right.

It's just so disheartening that there can be this much intentionality in making sure it's next to impossible to read a man of color as abusive and it will still happen. White fandom has such a tendency to center itself and white characters that it doesn't even matter how much effort they put into taking the audience by the shoulders and saying "this guy isn't abusive, he's being an imperfect victim in response to being abused himself," up to and including having the white guy in question say on his deathbed "sorry for abusing you for years." And people still wonder why fans of color are sick and tired of this shit to the point where some of us just want to leave fandom altogether.

[butch-pyrate]

OK, but the way the red suit is also a metaphor for Edward.

Let me explain, Jim says that by taking the suit Stede has invited the devil in their lives without thinking about the crew. During the wedding raid, Edward calls himself "The Devil" and he has also been invited into the crews life against their wishes.

Stede is perfectly comfortable wearing the red suit and enjoys being Edward's company. He's more than willing to ignore The Curse™ along with the horrible things that Ed did to the crew, expecting everyone to accept Edward's Not-An-Actual-Apology and allow him back on board even though they all just voted him off the ship.

Izzy explains to Stede that the curse is a curse because it effects the crew and their ability to be comfortable on the ship. Which is bitter sweet since he has to create a fictional event to cope with the less of his leg and force himself to be comfortable on the ship even when it's housing his abuser and the abuser of several of his crew members.

Despite Izzy's warning, Stede counties to not only keep the suit but to flaunt it every moment it, showing it off even while aware that it makes the crew feel unsafe. Like wise, instead of making Edward make amends with the crew, he puts some eye and ear grabbing accessories on Edward and says to just "fit in better" and that people will eventually feel comfortable around him again, not actually addressing the problem and instead insisting it will go away on it's own.

The crew attempts to rip the suit from Stede, much like half of them tried to kill Edward when he finally went too far. The suit escapes damaged and Izzy gives Stede the good old "I told you so".

Stede is eventually forced to confront the crew and with Izzy's guidance makes a passing apology where he acknowledges that ignoring their feeling was fucked up and that there is validity to their experiences even if they aren't his own. (after all, to him, Edward has been a sweetheart. After all, the suit hasn't done anything to harm him. He's in love with the suit, it's beautiful and comfortable and fun.)

Stede gives the suit away but keeps the shirt. Perhaps suggesting that Stede will step up as a boyfriend and help Edward process his actions and feelings beyond telling him to fit in more and as captain hold him accountable for what he did during the kraken-era beyond putting him in a cat bell.

And after all the trauma, violence, and pain has been exercised, the crew will be able to be comfortable around Ed, accepting the fine fabric of the suits under shirt is perhaps accepting the red heart that beats under all the smudged coal of the kraken.

[spongebobsoundtrack]

David Bell & Otto Sieben - Silly Season A

Plays in:

SpongeBob Squarepants

42a. "Club SpongeBob"

245b. "King Plankton"

248b. "Squid's on a Bus"

Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years

11a. "Wise Kraken"

23a. "Regi-Hilled" 

[kiame-sama]

OK, so how far along is the technology in your monster AU? Because, if I'm not mistaken, humans were the ones to advance the tech so quickly in the original world if the seventh book is anything to go by and Idia and Ortho are both heavily reliant on tech. Also! Do the first years start at sixteen like in the original story or at eighteen? Or are the characters lifespans longer since they're monsters? And, if possible, can I know what kind of monsters you plan to make the other characters? No pressure, of course, I'm simply expressing my absolute undying adoration for your work! Bc Azul would obviously make a great Kraken but a Cthulhu would be kind of cool too. Again, you have no obligations to answer (especially since you've already graced me before this) and I won't take offense if you ignore or refuse to answer! Lots of love <3 :p

Tech is still Blast-cycle/cellphone advanced, but it is certainly lacking a kind of inspiration or drive forward as Humans were the ones who really got the Technological arts and Culinary arts started in my monster AU and once they died out, things became kind of stagnant as far as both fields go. Crowley hopes this new Human can help get the creativity and technological forward march moving again.

Haven't decided if I'm keeping canon ages or aging them all up 2 years in a more American college age level. Reader is 18+ still (seeing as I write adult scenarios and adult content on the regular and yandere is adult content where I'm concerned).

Already wrote up what I think everyone is monster wise in another post.

[theneighborhoodwatch]

submission from kraken-twins

Something that hasn’t left my mind throughout following Welcome Home is the whole “Ronald Dorelaine” being basically the same name as Wally Darling (both first names mean Ruler, the last names sound similar). And while we could take Ronald Dorelaine as just a name Wally made up to.. seem human, I guess, I just can’t stop thinking about Jim Henson and Kermit. Pair that with the fact that some of the neighbors seem to be showing some Traits you could easily plug into a human crew working on a show: Barnaby as a sort of Sell-Out Comedian, Eddie as the one sort of keeping everything running and together despite being underappreciated, Sally as the Diva Starlet, Frank as this sort of intelligent and logical presence (who gets pretty offended when told he’s not funny or creative, which I am Keeping My Eye On) My brain can’t make this cohesive, but I just can’t stop thinking about it. And we almost definitely don’t have enough info to properly speculate, but I just needed to get this out as a Muppet Fanboy

DID I EVER BRING UP THE IDEA OF RONALD DORELAINE BEING WALLY'S HUMANSONA ON HERE??? i feel like i have, but only ever as a joke. i don't think it was ever something i took super seriously. i will say that:

A.) the idea that ronald and wally's last names have the same meaning Is interesting, but only if you read wally as being short for "walter." i hesitate to consider this Intentional right now, since canon seems to lean more towards the idea that name-wise, what you see is what you get. (although, "howdy" is apparently short for "howdyadoo," at least according to ko-fi notes and the holiday hullabaloo record...)

B.) that aside, i have..... many Actual thoughts on the relationship between puppet and crew (and Especially wally and dorelaine.) i know i always say i hate linking to old posts, but i don't think i can say it much better than i already have, and all of these are from before welcome home really blew up, so.

smiles.

smiles wider.

wider, wider still.

[thecreaturecodex]

Zap Kraken

Image © Turtle Rock Studios

[Sponsored by Soluman Blevins. The second of the Evolve monsters I've done, other than the warpwraith. Mechanically, the Kraken is interesting, but design wise, it's a little drab. Because it's just a Cthulhu. The lightning bolt wings are a cool touch, but otherwise, it's very much a Cthulhu. And in a game that already has Cthulhu and his star-spawn, I wanted to differentiate it a bit. So I tied it to one of my favorite one-shot weirdo monsters from the 3e era.]

Zap Kraken CR 16 CE Aberration This immense creature has a roughly dinosaur-like body and the head of a colossal cephalopod. A vertical maw stretches between its beard of tentacles, and two large jointed appendages grow from its back and crackle with electricity. Its long tail is segmented like the vertebral column of a great beast.

Zap krakens are rare aberrant creatures that use electrical energy for both offense and mobility. Although they are enormous, they fly with surprising grace by manipulating electricity, essentially creating wings of lightning that hold them aloft. They are remarkably stealthy for their size, and can sneak up on prey from above before dropping to melee or merely blasting away with channeled lightning bolts.

Zap krakens are territorial, and maintain their territory by creating banshee mines, so called for the shriek of their explosions. These mines home in on creatures that get too close, and the zap kraken can also visit them to see what it has seen, similar to a prying eyes spell. Although zap krakens typically view other creatures as prey first and foremost, they have a mutual fondness for zeugalaks. Both species have tentacled maws and an affinity for electricity, and sages speculate that they are related to each other. A zap kraken often views zeugalaks the way a nobleman views their prized hunting hounds, using them to flush out prey or occupy melee combatants. 

Zap Kraken CR 16 XP 76,800 CE Gargantuan aberration Init +7; Senses blindsense 120 ft., darkvision 60 ft., Perception +17

Defense AC 30, touch 14, flat-footed 22 (-4 size, +7 Dex, +1 dodge, +16 natural) hp 225 (18d8+144) Fort +14, Ref +13, Will +15 DR 10/magic; Immune cold, electricity; SR 26

Offense Speed 50 ft., fly 100 ft. (good) Melee 2 claws +18 (2d6+8), tentacles +17 (4d4+8), 2 wings +16 (2d6+4 plus 1d6 electricity) Space 20 ft.; Reach 20 ft. (30 ft. with tentacles) Special Attacks banshee mines, lightning strike, shock pulse

Statistics Str 26, Dex 24, Con 28, Int 11, Wis 19, Cha 19 Base Atk +16; CMB +28; CMD 46 Feats Blind-fight, Combat Reflexes, Dodge, Flyby Attack, Hover (B), Mobility, Multiattack, Stand Still, Weapon Focus (claw) Skills Acrobatics +20 (+28 when jumping), Fly +21, Intimidate +17, Perception +17, Stealth +16, Survival +17; Racial Modifiers +8 Stealth Languages Aklo

Ecology Environment warm hills Organization solitary or band (1 plus 1-4 zeugalaks) Treasure standard

Special Abilities Banshee Mines (Su) As a standard action, a zap kraken can create up to three animated mines. Treat these as the eyes generated by the prying eyes spell, only when a creature approaches within 30 feet of them (all creatures or of a type set by the zap kraken on creation), they fly towards that creature and explode. Treat this as a ranged touch attack using the zap kraken’s modifiers (+19 for a typical specimen). If it hits, the creature struck takes 4d6 points of electricity damage and 4d6 points of sonic damage. Whether the mine hits or not, it explodes, dealing this damage in a 5 foot radius (Reflex DC 23 halves). A zap kraken knows when one of its mines has detonated as long as it is within 1 mile of the mine. A zap kraken can create up to nine mines a day, but can have a maximum of three in existence at a time. The save DC is Charisma based. Lightning Strike (Su) As a standard action, a zap kraken can call down a bolt of lightning within 160 feet. It fills a column 60 feet high with a 20 foot radius, dealing 16d8 points of electricity damage to all creatures in the area (Reflex DC 23 halves). A zap kraken can use this ability once every 1d4 rounds. The save DC is Charisma based. Shock Wave (Su) As a standard action, a zap kraken can release an electrical pulse in a 60 foot radius centered on its body. All creatures in the area take 16d4 points of electricity damage and are pushed back 10 feet. A successful DC 27 Reflex save halves the damage and resists the knockback effect. A zap kraken can use this ability every other round. The save DC is Constitution based.  Tentacles (Ex) The tentacles of a zap kraken are treated as a single primary natural weapon

[cranesofibycus]

i'm so behind with cr (back at 68) but i know enough spoilers for the upcoming eps that i know What Happens, but i gotta know - on a scale of 1 to c1 kraken fight, how bad is 91 stress-wise ...

The in-game situation in 91 is similarly dire if not much worse, but the atmosphere around the table is a lot better than during the Kraken fight, which helped reduce my own stress levels. Like, you can tell that they are all Worried AF (TM) and there's a lot of hopelessness around the table, but they are all so much more experienced, as well as confident in their ability to tell a good story together, even when that story veers towards the tragic. Like, there's a lot more trust between all of them as players and that helps.

But yeah, had I been watching this live, I'm pretty sure I would've expected this fight to end in their very first TPK.

[raguonmynieceandnephew]

I fucking love Shadowlands and I am tired of being silent

This is probably gonna be long. TL;DR at the end.

Look, Shadowlands is the second worst expansion this game has ever shipped, besides WoD. I know this is a WILD opening sentence for a defense argument, but I am a romantic, not fucking delusional. This is a fact. Point blank period. The content drought was absurd, the legendary system was completely fucked, the maw in general, the lore reduced Arthas and Garrosh quite literally to dust, The Jailer as the main villain and FUCKING THORGAST, the overall alt unfriendliness, borrowed power cranked to a million, and I have expressed how much of a fucking joke I think putting Pelagos as the new Arbriter was.

It was bad.

This has been stablished, not just by me, but by the entirety of the wow community.

But even though I agree, all these things made the game worse, I still enjoyed my experience, and I have a positive outlook on the expansion overall, which seems to be the greatest sin a World of Warcraft player can commit: I liked Shadowlands. I dare to say I liked it more than I did Dragonflight, if I think really hard about it.

You simply cannot say you liked Shadowlands in the any circle of the WoW community online, from what I have seen. I remember Kraken Latte put it in first place in a rank she made of all expansions and got shit on for days on twitter, with people failing to see what she saw in the game.

Now, I feel like I have pointlessly yapping till now, so without further ado, here are some of the Shadowlands features i like the most:

1 - THREADS OF FATE

I am a simple man, who likes to do 2 things in wow: Mythic+ and leveling. That is pretty much it. I don't PvP, I rarely raid and I occasionally indulge in RPing as a Tidesage on Moonguard. And let me tell you, this baby right here was lifechanging.

Threads of Fate is by far, the single best feature (before Warbands, lol) in my entire World of Warcraft experience. I loved it. I loved it dearly. I don't think I have ever had so much fun leveling 60-70 through Revendreth and Ardenweald with ToF. I still have the route I took memorized, it was SO good. So many bonus objectives back to back to back, world quests and that goddamn gorgeous blue forest had the FATTEST questing hubs in the game.

I was so excited to play this combined with Chromie Time, like IT WAS ON BETA, until it was ruthlessly taken away from me for no goddamn reason AT ALL. Like, what the actual fuck blizzard. Y'all don't understand how delightful it would have been to level like that in ardenweald in the mid thirty levels, right after clearing Loch Modan (or the Silverspine and Hillsbrad, for horde). I barely touched SL since it got removed.

BRING IT BACK BLIZZARD, I AM BEGGING YOU, JUST DO THIS ONE SOLID FOR ME.

2 - COVENANT CALLINGS

Speaking of features I thoroughly enjoyed that were pried from my hands, we have the best iteration of daily quests this game has ever had. They actually worked as good dailies that gave actual gold, was a good reliable source of reputation and was amazing for anima and cosmetics.

This + the recent nerfs to the Dragonracing WQs make me feel like blizzard doesn't like when players make their gold independently, like, jesus christ not all of us have time to be profession moguls.

3 - THE 4 ZONES

What inspired this post was the fact that SL raids are now on legacy loot (if you didn't know, now you do) and I had to go to Bastion to buy the weapons with the thingy that drops from Nathria and...look at this. Just look at this.

This place is one of the most beautiful things this game has to offer. Like, the entire zone is gorgeous byt seeing this for the first time since DF came out legit moved me bro, LOOK AT IT.

And while the covenants were kind of a shit show gameplay-wise, in EVERY SINGLE OTHER ASPECT, it was a 10/10 feature, argue with your mom. Aesthetics, themes, everything, simply gorgeous. Also, it got bonus points from me bcs i really do not like to use training dummies in current expansions because of the sheer amount of people blasting them at any given time, so each covenant having their own Dummy Room, was a ++++ for me.

4 - THE NECROLORDS OF MALDRAXXUS

The Necrolords were the best covenant, their campaign was the best and their characters were the best. Like, come on now.

Draka? Mother. Vashj? Mother. Emeni? Mother. Sin'dane? Mother Stradama? Grandmother. Like, are you kidding me? I know lore was one of the Weakest points of SL overall, but you are insane if you include anything involving these guys. Even the Korthia campaign was enjoyable when they had the spotlight. And I only listed the female characters lmao, don't forget The Primus, Krexus's meme death, the five houses, Morgraine, Grahmal, Marileth, like C'MON!

5 - THE DUNGEONS

Except for the Theater of Pain, and arguably the De Other Side (I personaly love it), Shadowlands has the best overall roster of dungeons in the entire game.

Sanguine Dephts is, in my opinion the second best dungeon in WoW, period, behind only Freehold, Tazavesh is the best Mega Dungeon they ever made. Mists is a banger, Plaguefall is a banger except for the tentacles, Halls of Atonement, Spires (controversial take, ik), Necrotic Wake is amazing, like, you can say whatever you want about SL, but you cannot talk shit about its dungeon design.

Except ToP.

Fuck ToP.

Now, it's getting late so imma speedrun the rest of the items:

6 - COSMETICS

SL changed the transmog game, and all cosmetics from it (all the mounts and sets from all sources) look phenomenal, and if you disagree you are simply lying to yourself.

7 - ZERETH MORTIS

The zone was good and had tons of stuff to do and collect, plus, the introduction to the Catalysts was a plus.

also, nothing will be funnier than Taelia fucking Fordragon being the talking quest bubble for WQs in THE REALM OF ULTRA DEATH

8 - RAIDS

CN: Vibes? Immaculate. SoD: Horrible systems, cool mechanics SoFO: Cool systems, mid mechanics overall a positive for me

9 - CHARACTERS

Already mentioned a lot of characters from Maldraxxus, here are my other faves: Lady Moonberry, the gay unicorm, Denathrius, Theothar, basically ever steward, The Accuser, Kael'thas, General Draven, Remornia and many more.

There are probably more reasons to list to justify my love for SL despite all the bad it has in it, but I simply do not have the mental fuel to keep going rn, i need sleep.

TL;DR: I like Shadowlands despite it being bad and would appreciate it if ppl didn't throw a fit everytime someone talks about it in any sort of positive light. I then listed Threads of Fate, Callings, the first 4 zones, dungeon design, the fuckton of collectibles, characters and the beginning of the shift in game philosophy as positive and valid reasons to be a SL enjoyer.

[redbean-nom]

tactical droid vs clone culture

I was thinking about how General Kalani is one of the only droids with an actual (non-serial number-related) name, and I looked up the super tactical droid wookiepedia page:

and huh! of the four known ST droids, three of them have obviously individual names, and given that their serials would be ST-something, Aut-0 is probably a name too!

(Aut-0's name also seems to demonstrate that he has some sort of sense of humor, and Kraken's paint is suspiciously kraken-looking.)

a bit of further delving found pictures for Kalani, Kraken, and Aut-0 (Linwodo doesn't seem to appear in any visual media).

not only do they all have individual names, they also seem to have unique paint!

now, basic tactical droids do have some distinguishing symbols, but these tend to be simple central lines or logos - just enough to be distinguished.

since ST droids are pretty easily distinguishable from tactical droids (and there'd only really be one on the battlefield anyways), and none of their units have anything similar design-wise, we can conclude that the ST droids' paint is an individual choice.

I doubt Dooku would be busy painting and naming his tactical droids either, so they most likely named and painted each other and themselves...

...much like a certain other batch of beings-not-formally-recognized-as-sentient.