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tobiasdrake · 4 years

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Power Rangers Turbo E18 – Passing the Torch, Part I

Well that title sounds meaningful. Looks like this is it. It’s time for Kat to head for London. Who will be the next Pink Ranger?! Find out, uh… maybe today. This is a Part I, after all.

I want it to be Lt. Stone’s niece Jenny, but it’s going to be Ashley. Divatox literally tried to have her and Carlos killed. Hey, maybe Kat will take Justin with her and Carlos can be our new Blue Ranger?

Recap

We open on Divatox snoozing in bed when suddenly she has a holographic visitor. Divatox’s mother, Mama D, has come from afar with a dire warning. And by warning, I mean she has some concerns. And by concerns, I mean she’s here to complain.

You know, I was trying to think of a joke I could make about Winnie Sanderson (Hocus Pocus) over here, but honestly that Medusa hair and Dracula cape combo is fabulous. Can she just be the villain now?

“You know,” she starts in. “We come from the finest lineage of space pirates ever. Our legacy has been written in the stars for eons! And then, somehow, all that incredible genetic stock resulted in you. You’ve been on Earth for months and I don’t see one city in flames or a hold full of treasure to show for it!

“I’m trying, Mama!” Divatox whines. “Earth is haaaaaaaard. This backwater shitstain is ridiculously OP. And I’m not the only one who thinks that! Remember my friend Rita? Go ask her. She laughed at me when I asked her how to kill them! For five straight minutes!”

“Oh, stop whining! I didn’t tell you to attack the planet that broke the Machine Empire. Your inability to properly research a target is nobody’s fault but your own. Now you’re here, and if you cut and run then our family name will be disgraced for centuries! You picked this fight. Now you need to deal with it.”

Divatox, realizing the hard position she’s in, hollowly asks, “What should I do?”

“Really?” Mama D rubs her forehead. “Cut off the head, the rest will fall like dominoes. This is grade-school raid tactics, Divatox.”

Divatox stammers, “I-I don’t know that that… I-I-I mean, it’s been tried, Mama… a bunch of times….”

Sternly, Mama D declares, “Cut off the head. Sweep up the rest. Do it.” With those instructions, Mama D vanishes, leaving Divatox to carry out the plan. All she has to do is isolate and capture Tommy. Easy, right? Where is he, anyway?

“Wow, I sure do like spending time with my brothers and sisters in arms, all day, every day! And now that Kat and I are fucking, I don’t even sleep alone! There practically isn’t a single minute of my life where I’m alone and vulnerable, especially with these cool wrist-mounted teleporters. I don’t know why I thought of that just now!”

Ironically, Tommy and Kat driving in isolated wilderness was an actual abduction scenario back when Rita and Zedd were running the show.

So Tommy’s got some time away from the racetrack (which would actually have been the perfect place to abduct him from), so he and Kat are on their way to meet the rest of their squad for a camping getaway. Tanya and Adam already picked up Justin so that Tommy and Kat could have a little bit of alone time.

Meanwhile, a busload of people is being terrorized by one woman’s off-key singing. Meet Cassie, who is exactly the kind of self-absorbed asshole that sings loudly in public to her Walkman, my generation’s prehistoric artifact version of an iPod. The man beside her, T.J., tries to get her attention.

Actual dialogue, “What?! I can’t hear you!” Yep. Cassie’s going to be that shithead today.

T.J. convinces Cassie to quit screeching to her music and they introduce themselves. Cassie’s moving to Stone Canyon to live with some relatives. She aspires to become a professional singer, and Stone Canyon is the city where opportunity thrives.

T.J., meanwhile, is headed for Angel Grove. He doesn’t really say much about it, because they both know that Angel Grove is the city where opportunity gets stomped on by malevolent alien forces. That city’s a perpetual disaster zone; nobody moves there voluntarily anymore.

Beneath the ocean, Divatox puts on her game face and assembles her forces on the bridge of her sub. She announces the abduction and/or assassination of Tommy Oliver, whichever winds up being easier. She sends her Piranhatrons up to the surface to get in position and wait for her signal.

Oh man, I want a thrilling chase sequence with these awesome Biker Fish from Mars tooling circles around the Turbo Scootscoots. Motorcycles make even the most pathetic minions become instantly five times cooler.

However, “in position” means directly behind Tommy’s truck in plain view, so he easily notices them and pulls off onto a dirt road. But the pickup truck doesn’t exactly have a maneuverability advantage against motorcycles, so the Piranhatrons are able to follow, gradually closing the gap to the truck.

Once again, Divatox’s brilliant plan is “GET ‘EM.” Recurring failures are making her lazy.

On the bus, Cassie gets tired of the solemn silence wafting around T.J.’s announcement of his destination. “So,” she says in a calm and soothing voice best described as Suicide Watch. “Angel Grove. What’s that about?”

“Oh, believe me, I get it,” T.J. says. “It’s my dad’s idea. My dad knows a guy, Jake ‘Bull’ Rosetti, in Angel Grove who’s all about the baseball circuit. He says the Angel Grove team is always looking for new players; there’s a lot of turnover because of the alien attacks. So he loaded me up with survival gear, gave me a couple books about scrounging together a life in a warzone, and sent me out to see what I can learn.”

Cassie and T.J. confide in each other that neither of them is really confident about their skills in their chosen profession. Then the bus pulls over to a rest stop and lets everyone off for a fifteen-minute break. Cassie picks out a pair of sunglasses with a sunflower over the connector piece, then asks T.J.’s opinion on them.

For what it’s worth, I think she’s killing it.

T.J. grimaces at the glasses. Actual dialogue, “Only if you’re trying to make contact with alien life forms.”

Cassie chuckles at the funny joke. Then, suddenly, her face darkens and she whispers. “Right. Angel Grove. Might be going past there.” She quickly puts the sunglasses back on the shelf.

While Cassie continues testing different bits of merchandise, the Piranhatrons open fire on Tommy’s truck. Hearing their shots pummel the tailgate, Tommy tells Kat to bail out. She opens the door and leaps, tucking and rolling as she hits the grass beside the road. However, in the chaos, her Turbo Ignition Key falls out of her pocket.

Once Kat’s safely out of harm’s way, Tommy slows the truck. This is why he told her to jump. He knows exactly what’s about to happen. In his unmorphed state, the Piranhatrons have a range advantage and the truck itself is holding him back. He needs to exit the vehicle before he can defend himself, and making the truck stationary is a gamble.

But there’s no time like the present. Under the rain of gunfire behind him, Tommy unbuckles his seatbelt and slams on the brakes. His truck careens to a halt and he throws open the door. He just manages to get two feet away when the Piranhatrons’ shots ignite the fuel system. Tommy’s truck explodes, hurling him through the air and pummeling his back with shrapnel. His body slams into the ground. He hits the ground as a bloody mess, barely even conscious.

T.J. jerks upright from his bench, having seen the explosion in the distance. He races off towards the blast, much to Cassie’s surprise. “Hey!” she shouts at him. “The hat wasn’t that bad!”

T.J. stops just long enough to shout back at her. “There was an explosion! Someone could be hurt!”

Actual dialogue, “You’re going to miss the bus!”

“A human life might be in danger! There will be other buses!”

“THIS IS NOT HOW YOU SURVIVE IN ANGEL GROVE!!!”

“TOMMY!!!” Kat screams. She pulls herself to her feet and sprints towards the smoldering wreck, but the Piranhatrons whip past her and close a defensive wall between her and the unconsciously and badly injured Red Ranger. Kat, suddenly realizing what’s about to happen, takes off into the fields with the Piranhatron Bikers peeling off in pursuit.

Part I of Divatox’s plan has gone startlingly well. Now for part II: letting the other Rangers know that an attack is in progress so that they drop what they’re doing and get involved! DIvatox pops two Putrapods. Remember Putrapods? They’re the Michael Bay Ninja Turtle monsters from the Turbo film. She hasn’t used them, not once, since the series proper began. I honestly thought the writers just forgot those were a thing.

But Divatox wants something a bit more vicious. After all, two Putrapods against three Rangers isn’t exactly a winning proposition. She takes a moment to consider the forces at her disposal, then settles in on the Flamite Monster.

Actual dialogue, “Yes! I’m all fired up!”

“Not on my fucking ship, you’re not! Don’t even start with that until you’re at the surface. We just got the Piddle Shower Room back in proper working order this morning!”

While Adam and Tanya bicker over how to hang up a hammock, Justin spots movement in the brush. He immediately assumes that it’s Kat and Tommy. He goes back to his whittling, but then his thirteen-year-old boy mind realizes what they might be doing that’s rustling bushes, and he sneaks off into the woods hoping to see a boob.

The Flamite waits for Justin to get a fair distance away from Adam and Tanya. Then, once he’s isolated, it jumps him, ready to pick off the weakest and go from there. Justin puts his dukes up, daring the Flamite to @ him. His response is fire breath; Justin promptly drops his dukes and flees from the spreading flames.

In dry wilderness.

In California.

Oh, Smokey the Bear is not going to like this.

The Flamite was not prepared for Justin to just leave like that. He dashes after the kid, using the advantage of his longer legs to catch up and grab his arm. Justin screams at the top of his lungs for help, alerting Tanya and Adam to the Flamite’s presence. Before they can intervene, one Putrapod hatches and attacks.

Cassie tries to convince the bus driver to wait for T.J., but when he refuses, she has a choice to make. Cassie’s conscience gets the better of her and she opts to go look for her new friend rather than leave him alone out here. Like T.J. said, there will be other buses.

Cassie heads off into the field trying to find the direction he went. Suddenly she hears Kat howling out a kiyap. Cassie throws her suitcase into the bushes and runs in the direction of the voice. She finds her way to A.J. and the both lay eyes on the smoldering wreckage of Tommy’s truck.

Watching the truck burn, Cassie tells T.J., “Okay, you’re right. The bus isn’t a priority right now. What happened here?”

“No idea,” T.J. says. “But there’s a woman over there being attacked by weird fish robots! She’s outnumbered. We should help.” He emerges from the rock they’re hiding behind, but Cassie grabs him and pulls him back.

“Are you stupid or something?” Cassie asks him. “Those are probably the aliens. Remember? Angel Grove?”

T.J. whirls on Cassie. “Look, did you come here to help or just to gawk? Because I came here to help!” Before she can respond, he explodes from behind the rock and sprints for the robots.

“THIS IS NOT. HOW YOU SURVIVE. IN ANGEL GROVE.”

“Well maybe it should be!”

Determined not to let her new friend be brutally murdered by alien robots, Cassie sighs in frustration and chases after him once again. But unbeknownst to the two of them, the other Putrapod is about to hatch.

T.J. and Tommy race past the truck, missing Tommy bleeding and gasping on the ground, and try to follow Kat. Another squad of Piranhatrons splooshes up out of the ground to stop them. Cassie freezes. “OKAY,” she declares. “That’s my limit. I did not wake up wanting to be probed today. PEACE.” But T.J. stands his ground and raises his fists. Cassie rolls her eyes and follows suit. “You ballsy motherfucker.”

The Piranhatrons charge.

With no backup coming for him, Justin realizes it’s up to him to save himself. He spins around in the Flamite’s grip and delivers a haymaker right into the pirate’s dick. This buys him an opening to flee, jumping through the small space between two inosculated trees. The Flamite fumbles to the tree opening and swings wildly, but Justin slips under his arm and delivers another jab at his ribs.

Having bought himself a breather, Justin draws his Ignition Key and attempts to shift into Turbo. The Flamite makes his way around the tree, however, and kicks the Key out of Justin’s hand, then grabs him by the shirt and hoists him helplessly into the air.

Adam and Tanya surround their Putrapod. Adam uses his special technique, Flurry of Holy Shit So Much Violence, to hold the Putrapod’s attention. Tanya devises a plan to use the hammock, then grabs the Putrapod’s attention and runs, slipping under it.

The Putrapod runs straight into the hammock, which winds around its face and tangles it up. Declaring this good enough, Adam and Tanya slip around it and head for Justin.

Having led the Piranhatrons in a circle, Kat makes her way back towards the smoldering truck. She spots T.J. and Cassie valiantly trying to defend themselves against the mechanical pirates and is momentarily perplexed by the new blood.

“For fuck’s sake, how many people do I need to rescue now?”

T.J. and Cassie do their best to fend off the Piranhatrons, but they’re fading fast. “Okay, you’re right,” T.J. concedes. “This was reckless. I’m sorry I got us probed.”

“It’s my fault too,” Cassie says. “I should have let them probe you and bailed.” A Piranhatron tries to grab her, so she nails it with a butterfly kick, followed by a circle kick and then closing with a front kick to drop it.

The floored T.J. asks Cassie, actual dialogue, “Where’d you learn to do that?!”

“Dude, I’m Korean,” Cassie says. “All Asians all know martial arts.”

“Wait, really?”

“No! Racist!” Cassie laughs. T.J. laughs with her. And then Piranhatrons jump on their faces and pummel them.

Adam and Tanya try to hold the Flamite back. Adam encourages Justin to morph, but Justin lost his Ignition Key. This does not, in any way, explain why Adam and Tanya don’t morph.

The Piranhatrons converge on Kat, giving T.J. and Cassie an opportunity to run. They do not, instead doubling down on trying to bail Kat out.

Tanya and Adam pull their Ignition Keys to help Justin, but once again the Flamite kicks them out of everyone’s hands. Nobody can morph now.

T.J. uses a jump kick to buy Kat a moment to breathe. Kat yells at them to leave, but Cassie’s like, “Fuck you! The aliens are targeting you and I want answers! I am not spending the rest of my life wondering about this.” But then the Piranhatrons swarm once more.

T.J. and Cassie throw themselves into the horde. Kat suddenly realizes that she has a choice to make; either she can help these hapless civilians that dumbassed themselves into her mess, or she can go help Tommy. “Fuck ‘em,” she declares and heads back for the burning truck, abandoning T.J. and Cassie to die.

“Fine. Not going to leave? Not my problem. Where’s Tommy?!”

Kat returns to the truck to see the Putrapod dragging Tommy away from the truck. Before she can try and help him, one of the Piranhatrons she turned her back on grabs her from behind.

Justin and Adam recover their Ignition Keys and regroup with Kat. The three Rangers race away on foot to try and find Tommy and Kat.

Cassie escapes from the fight and grabs Kat, shaking her and yelling at her that all three of them need to fucking go. Kat refuses to escape, desperate to find Tommy, and the Piranhatrons converge on them once again. While Cassie and T.J. fight off their assailants, Kat stands around uselessly, marveling at their skills.

The Putrapod drags Tommy into a cave where Divatox and her men are waiting. It dumps him unceremoniously on the ground, presenting him to Divatox. DUN DUNN.

Dragon Score: 8/10

Not sure if Tanya or Kat ever found their Ignition Keys.

Power Rangers always brings their A-game to these big Important Plot episodes. This episode was a full-scale assault against the Rangers, while at the same time introducing two new characters. Cassie and T.J. are interesting. T.J. has a genine selflessness to him. He’s basically Captain America. When a person needs help, T.J. jumps to answer the call to action. Your typical altruistic Superhero Persona.

Cassie wants to be a shittier person than she is. She’s a knight in sour armor. When a person needs help, Cassie kicks and screams about how it’s not her problem and then helps them anyway while whining about it.

Based on Kat stoping to ogle her fighting skills, I assume Cassie, not Ashley or Jenny, is being primed to become Pink Ranger in Kat’s place. Interesting choice. Not sure what they’re going to do with T.J. Sixth Ranger? But it’ll be cool having a non-white Pink Ranger and Cassie’s personality is well-suited to provide some interesting drama.

I still would have preferred Jenny, but Cassie’s flawed in her own way. And it’s good that she’s flawed. Character flaws are important for a show like this. Power Rangers likes to try and have moral lessons in its episodes, and it’s struggled for a long time with that. A key element of stories about learning valuable moral lessons is that the characters need to be people in need of learning moral lessons.

Power Rangers likes to have a cast of virtuous moral paragons. And that forces them to really stretch when trying to teach those lessons, often teaching the characters things they already knew or trying to pass lessons along to one-and-done bit extras. Cassie already feels like a character around whom you could legit do episodes where Cassie Does A Bad and then Cassie has to learn why that was bad.

So. Yeah. Disappointed it’s not Jenny, but intrigued all the same.

This episode was pretty close to a flawless 9. It did feel a bit contrived, however, that Adam and Tanya wouldn’t have morphed before fighting Flamite – especially when they were both shouting at Justin to do the same. Additionally, there was a bit too much Piranhatron action in the back half of the episode. There were multiple times where characters broke away from Piranhatrons only to start fighting Piranhatrons again and then escape the Piranhatrons and then start fighting the Piranhatrons some more, etc. etc.

Kat, Cassie, and T.J.’s portion of the episode turned into one long slog against the robots that went on for too long, until all the bits just started to blur together.

Best Ranger: Tanya Sloan, Yellow Ranger

Tanya’s the only Ranger that actually won a fight today. Nobody managed to take down the Flamite. The Piranhatrons just kept resurging. But Tanya managed to drop a Putrapod with a hammock, and then that was it. It did not get back up. It just remained defeated for the rest of the episode.

Worst Ranger: Katherine Hillard, Pink Ranger

Kat spent most of the episode running away from Piranhatrons, enemies that the Rangers (and even these two randos Cassie and T.J.) regularly defeat unarmored.

Kat also straight-up abandoned T.J. and Cassie to the Piranhatrons so that she could reach Tommy. I get it. I understand why she would prioritize Tommy above them. I sympathize. I’d probably do the same. But it’s not a very superhero-y choice for one of the Whitest of White Hats to make, y’know?

#power rangers #power rangers turbo #dragon review power rangers

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